#but like specifically love that it just goes into world ending plot while you run around doing fuckall but kinda do end up fixing shit

[castleinthemist]

what's fascinating is that drakengard starts off feeling very usual fantasy, even down to its gameplay (and well the gameplay doesn't change much but) and then the cyclops appear and the magic nukes drop and the fucked shit comes out like YEAAAAH AAAAHHHH that's what i was expecting!

[artist-issues]

THE END of the Hunger Games is flawless.

The ending paragraph of "The Hunger Games" is so perfect. It so totally wraps up the whole point and takeaway of the books, and every character's journey, and nails it.

First off, the paragraph's context is about what you teach your children. Children, who are seen as the most precious treasure any person can handle in the book--treasures that can be turned into weapons and used against the treasurers. Children, who can bring down corrupt authority or keep it in place. So first off, a paragraph that addresses how important teaching children is is the best context for this perfect paragraph.

Second, Katniss is specifically teaching them what? "how I survive," which is her entire being. She makes every decision based on survival. She volunteers for Prim and doesn't kill Peeta in the first Games and chooses not to be with Gale and chooses to play her part against Snow all because she can't survive in a world where the alternative outcomes happen. Plus, survival is what other characters base their decisions on, too. 13 doesn't nuke the Capitol because it might ruin humanity's chances at survival. Hunger is the central plot device used to give Katniss all her skills, because without food, you don't what? Survive. Even "love" in these books is only another tool for survival; it makes suffering worthwhile, and purpose visible, and loss surmountable, and nightmares endurable, for every character. Finnick, Peeta, Katniss, Katniss' mother, even Buttercup the cat. The point of the book's lesson is "how to survive."

Third, the thing that could ruin love and pleasure's usefulness as a tool for survival is fear. But specific fear--"I'm afraid it could be taken away." It's fear that something you love, which makes survival worthwhile, could be taken away, and with it goes survival itself. The whole Hunger Games demonstrate that--"you rebelled against us? Then we're showing you that we can take away your children, the things that make survival worthwhile." And you know what? That's the dividing line between Katniss and Snow. Both Katniss and Coryo have survival as their ultimate goal, and have fear of the things they love being taken from them. For Katniss, it's the good opinion of the people of 12, it's her life with her sister and mom, it's the freedom from owing anyone anything, it's food and the ability to feed herself. For Coryo? It's his family name and reputation, his cousin and grandmother, his legacy, and his ability to never return to the cannibalism of the war. The fear of losing those things that they love is what could drive them to take no pleasure in them. To be afraid forever--and with fear comes the never-enough desire for control. To hang on to those things long after you've forgotten to take pleasure in them. Katniss almost does this with marrying Peeta or running from 12 or even becoming the Mockingjay. She's so afraid of losing what she loves that she jumps through hoops to control hanging onto them: does what Snow says, then does what Gale says, then does what Coin says. Plays a part in each of their games, to try and control the outcome. Coryo actually does do this, and for a while, has enough power to make that control almost universal. All because of fear of the things that he used to take pleasure in being taken from him.

Fourth, the alternative to focusing on the fear and the very-real danger of losing everything--is "focusing on every act of goodness I've seen someone do." This is just faith. Because it's true that the world of Panem (and the world in general) is full of people who are so afraid of losing control over what they love that they kill children and mutate nature to keep up the game, the illusion that they're in control. What you love could be taken from you. The world's full of that. But. The world also has unconditional love in it. People like Peeta, who saw that Katniss would kill him for her own survival in the first Hunger Games, but still chose to sacrifice for her anyway. People like Finnick, who loses everything including his mind, his body, and the things he loves most, but still gives Katniss the only rope he's got that's holding him together, just because he sees she needs it. Focus on that truth, instead of the simultaneous-truth that the it could all be taken away, and you'll have faith, not fear. You'll give up control and just enjoy what goodness you can. And when you do that, nobody can take it from you--not in spirit. Just like nobody could take Peeta's love for Katniss from him.

Finally, "it's like a game." To make a set of rules for yourself, a set of responses to the darkness of the world like making a list of things to focus on exclusively, is a game. It is a type of control--but it's just control of your own thoughts. Carefully using the game so that, in the arena of your brain, the love-shaped tribute is victor over the fear-shaped tribute. So that that battle stays in your head, instead of breaking out into a war that destroys what made your life worth surviving in the first place. Controlling what is your responsibility to control, instead of playing God and trying to control what's not yours. Drawing a line between what's good and what's bad, and staying firmly on one side of it without justification for crossing it.

That's why The Hunger Games is so good. Not because it has interesting dystopian settings, or because Gale and Peeta are hot and the romantic tension of the love triangle lets us self-insert ourselves. (Like other, worse YA fiction.)

No, The Hunger Games is so good because every part of it, from the characters to the setting to the symbolism to the names to the pacing to the development to the mood to the twists in the narrative, is used to uphold that main point. The main point that's so succinctly, cleanly, beautifully made in the last paragraph of the book.

[microraptorreactor]

No shade at Devsis (for this, specifically) but seriously there are a lot of characters in this game who are a) female, b) have a relationship with another woman that is VERY easy to interpret as queer, and c) are deeply traumatized. Don't get me wrong I love 5/6 of these character's episodes (I only dislike Ice Queen's because Icicle Yetti's voice got really grating on me very quickly) but is everything good at Devsis?

(explanations for my non-cookie run moots under the cut. Cookie Run lore is wild, y'all.)

from top to bottom, left to right.

Frost Queen is a god of frost who froze to death in the arms of her 'best friend' in a past life. She goes on to use blizzards to balance out life and death. (I think. I watched a breakdown and some cutscenes. in order to get this information you have to play an hour with the most annoying cookie available)(I do not like Icicle Yeti)

Moonlight Cookie was created to observe the dreams of mortals/watch over the city of wizards. She has a close relationship with the god of the ocean but can't leave the city to kiss her girl. Eventually, all the wizards leave the city and Moonlight is left to watch over it on her own.

Black Pearl Cookie was a gem mermaid who had a close relationship with a 'maid', Frilled Jellyfish Cookie (second from the right on the bottom row). She is bisexual however, and falls for the worst possible man after running away from home because she didn't get magic powers during the sea magic ceremony thing. The dude steals her kingdom's magic pearl (or maybe he gives it to her? I don't remember the specifics) which starts a war and kinda just fucks everything up. Black Pearl goes to Sea Fairy for help, but Sea Fairy starts a space program instead of helping so Black Pearl turns emo. Also, Frilled Jellyfish dies due to the war. (I said Cookie Run lore was wild)

Sea Fairy Cookie is really down bad for Moonlight Cookie and (unintentionally) makes it everyone's problem. She ignores the sea cookies while they are actively fucking dying and sorta just sits around for the entire plot. She is one of my favorite characters. Like go off girl make your lesbian pining an actual threat to everyone's safety.

Frilled Jellyfish Cookie has been mentioned already but she's just the sweetest little thing. She just wants to see BP happy, man. She does everything in her power to try to console BP and it just gets her killed in the end. Her dying words are her telling BP to leave her and get to safety, and that she will be fine. BP should have just kissed the jellyfish girl why'd she have to fuck around with Oyster :(

Golden Cheese Cookie. She's my favorite character. So for the sapphic part, she's weirdly flirty with Black Rasine Cookie (another desert-themed cookie with bird motifs) and I'm team 'the ancient heroes were poly' so if you ask me she was smooching White Lily and Hollyberry at some point in the past. For the tragic part, here's one of the wildest backstories this game has! Basically, GCC founded and ruled the Golden Cheese Kingdom, which I'm gonna call Cheeseypt because that's what it is. Cheeseypt is a relatively secluded kingdom, mostly interacting with the wider world through trading. At one point, Golden Cheese leaves her kingdom to fight in the Dark Flour War alongside the other Ancient Heros. What happens while she's out? Dark ENchantress (who happens to be GC's ex-close-friend) FUCKING NUKES ALL OF CHEESEYPT. Not even a 'oh they had to flee and they are still rebuilding :(' no ALL OF GOLDEN CHEESE'S FRIENDS ARE DEAD. Consumed by grief, because you know, everyone she loves is dead, GC buries them all under the kingdom and connects their souls to a digital city before entombing herself with them. She tunes the digital city so that everyone's wishes are granted, and all her citizens live lives of comfort and wealth because, for as much as she values her gold, her real treasure is her friends.

I would stop it here but the way the game ends GC's ark is also just fucking insane? so one of her close friends betrays her (for good reason tbh) and destabilizes the entire city. Faced with leaving everyone she loves behind, GC breaks down because there's nothing for her in the real world. Black Raisen cookie comforts her but explains that this eternal dream is going to end someday anyway. So what does GC do? She explains to her citizens that it'll feel like falling asleep, and shuts down digital Cheeseypt. The characters we met in Cheeseypt don't come back, by the way. There's no loophole. They are just possibly dead for real. (or definitely dead in Burnt and Cheesenburg's cases.)

[twistedtummies2]

Top 20 Wicked Witches

Halloween isn’t here yet, but I’m still on my run of October-themed lists for 2024! So, let’s talk about one of Halloween’s most famous archetypes: the Wicked Witch. Disregarding the long and rather controversial history of real-life witchcraft, fictional witches have been a staple in mythology, fairy-tales, and popular media as a whole for a very long time. From gnarled old crones and nasty hags, to darkly beautiful enchantresses who are as glamorous as they are grotesque, these mistresses of black magic are a mainstay in fantasy and horror alike. Of course, not all witches are evil: some, like Hermione Granger from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, are generally very good and heroic characters. Even some witches who have a dark side, like Grandmama Addams from “The Addams Family,” aren’t really evil, they just have a sort of ghoulish sense of style. But no matter how much time passes, there will always be bad witches as well as good ones: figures of female power for both darkness and light. I decided to look specifically at some bad witches for this list. Some of them are hideous, some of them are radiant, but all of them match the basic description of “evil feminine magic-user.” There are a LOT of witch characters from various forms of media, so forgive me if any noteworthy ones YOU favor get left out of the running. With that said…here are My Top 20 Favorite Wicked Witches!

20. The Witch, from Into the Woods.

I wasn’t 100% sure how much this character REALLY counted as “wicked” witch, but by her own admission, “she’s not good, she’s not nice,” and she does do some things that are…morally questionable, to say the least. Plus, I absolutely LOVE “Into the Woods,” and I frankly don’t get to talk about it enough, so I’m giving her a spot here. For those who don’t know, this musical is the creation of the late, great Stephen Sondheim, whom many consider one of the greatest musical theatre masters of all time. The show is a mash-up of several fairy-tales together: in the first act, the stories intertwine and, by the end of the act, all of the characters involved have seemingly found their happy endings. This is all well and good, but the REAL kicker comes in Act II, when the characters learn that their actions (and inactions) from the first half now have far-reaching consequences, and that sometimes “happily ever after” isn’t so easy. The Witch is a central character in the story, who effectively jumpstarts the plot, as most of the major plot threads tie back to her twin goals of regaining her youth and beauty, and protecting her adoptive daughter, Rapunzel. While not necessarily EVIL, in the strictest sense, the Witch is a very self-centered character, and her self-serving nature repeatedly bites her in the rear throughout the story, with increasingly unfortunate results. At the same time, however, she’s one of the most rational characters in the story, often stepping in to halt the other characters as they bicker and fuss…though even then, it’s usually only for her own purposes. The character is typically treated as the “star attraction” in the play, as whenever there’s a really big name cast in the show, it usually goes to the Witch. Given how much meat there is to the role, it’s not a surprise that such names as Meryl Streep, Bernadette Peters, Donna Murphy, and Phylicia Rashad have all tackled the part with aplomb.

19. Gruntilda, from Banjo-Kazooie.

This silly sorceress is the main antagonist of the Banjo-Kazooie franchise, which focuses on the adventures of a bear and a bird trying to outdo the nasty crone in her many schemes. Gruntilda Winkybunion is a classic, cartoony witch, inspired by the Queen from Snow White. Determined to be the fairest in the land, she kidnaps Banjo’s sister in the first game, planning to rob her of her youth and beauty, thus turning the girl bear into a monster and transforming the gnarled witch herself into a smokin’ green bombshell. In later installments, the evil witch returns to seek revenge on those who took away her chance at glamor. While Grunty is not necessarily an idiot, she’s still a generally more humorous sort of character. Her ironic vanity and overconfidence constantly lead to her downfall, to say nothing of her faith in her many bungling minions. Though funny, she nevertheless poses a threat to the world she inhabits, and has many ways of coming back from her numerous defeats, even from beyond the grave! She may not be the scariest witch on the countdown, but she’s certainly one of the most entertaining.

18. Yubaba, from Spirited Away.

“Spirited Away” is many people’s choice for their favorite film from the popular Japanese movie company, Studio Ghibli, as well as the debated masterwork of internationally famed animator Hayao Miyazaki. Influenced by various fairy-tales and pieces of folklore, the story tells of the adventures of a young girl named Chihiro, who ends up lost - along with her parents - in the spirit world. After her parents are turned into pigs (it happens), she goes to a bathhouse run by the wicked hag Yubaba, to try and find a way to get home. Yubaba tricks Chihiro into signing a work contract with her, and steals Chihiro’s name away, giving her the new name “Sen.” As time goes on, Sen begins to forget her name and her true identity: if she completely forgets her true self, she’ll be Yubaba’s servant for the rest of time. Sen must thus find a way to regain ownership of her name and escape the spirit world and Yubaba’s influence. Yubaba is one of the few proper villains to appear in a Studio Ghibli film, and she’s a very fun character. While absolutely the villain of the story, she does have some standards: she considers herself a businesswoman, and genuinely respects hard work and determination. She even starts to form a sort of affection towards Sen, despite everything. The old witch also genuinely loves her son, Boh, spoiling him absolutely as rotten as herself. Boh later learns his lesson, but Yubaba…well, the jury is still out on that one.

17. Circe.

It’s difficult to say who the first witch character in fiction is/was, but I think a fair argument could be made that Circe - a figure of Greek Mythology - could certainly be considered AMONG the first, at the very least. This enchantress was the ruler of the mystical isle of Aeaea. The daughter of the Sun God, Helios, and a water nymph named Perse, Circe was closer to a deity than a human being, and had the power to match it. Circe was prone to jealousy, and seemed to enjoy toying with mortals either out of spite, or for sport, or for both. With her magic wand, she could turn other people into all sorts of beasts. In the famous legend of “The Odyssey,” she transformed most of Odysseus’ crew into pigs, until he agreed to live with her for a year. In another legend, she transformed a nymph named Scylla into the legendary man-eating sea monster of myth, in a plot of revenge. In still another, she punished King Picus for rejecting her advances by turning him into a woodpecker. The character still survives through various modern interpretations (my personal favorite is the one from DC, where she’s a frequent enemy of Wonder Woman). Depictions of the sorceress range from her being a mischievous trickster who is more chaotic than truly evil, to her being an outright evil entity. As one of the longest-lasting examples of an antagonistic witch, she definitely deserves mention here.

16. The Other Mother, from Coraline.

While I count the Other Mother as a witch, since she has been classified as such in other sources, this character is sort of an iffy case. It’s not really clear what or who the Other Mother actually is. Alternatively referred to as “The Beldam,” she is a mysterious and otherworldly being who lives in a parallel world, where she lures unhappy children by pretending to be a nicer, more indulgent version of their actual mothers. The Other Mother creates a universe where the child will have everything they ever wanted, be able to go on all the whimsical adventures they could ask for, and where every person they know is now a much more interesting version of their real life selves. Once the child is “fattened up” with all this joy, the Other Mother convinces them to sew a pair of black buttons onto their face in place of their eyes. It’s not clear exactly what happens then, but once they obey, the Child’s soul belongs to the Other Mother, and she devours their bodies. In both the original novel, as well as the more famous animated movie adaptation (which, to its credit, stays largely true to the book), as time goes on throughout the story, the Other Mother’s appearance changes steadily, from looking identical to Coraline’s real Mom, to resembling some twisted, warped, disgusting monster that hardly resembles the real woman at all. Her origins, the nature of her powers, and even her EXACT motivations cloaked in mystery, the Other Mother is one of the creepiest characters on this list.

15. Witch Hazel, from Looney Tunes.

In contrast to the mind-numbing horrors of the previous choice, Witch Hazel is one of the most lighthearted contenders, and by far the most LITERALLY cartoony. First appearing in a parody of “Hansel and Gretel,” this hyperactive hag didn’t appear in a ton of cartoons, but she’s nevertheless fondly remembered. Most of the time, Hazel is looking for some hapless animal to cook into her stew for supper, or else seeking some sort of special ingredient for one of her many poisonous potions. While not especially bright, her powers and her tenacity make her a dangerous character. Hazel is largely entertaining because of just how EXCITED she always is: she’s almost always bouncing around from scene to scene, and clearly having a blast doing whatever she wants to do. Like many great cartoon villains, and especially those from the Looney Tunes library - similar to Wile E. Coyote or Sylvester the Cat - she never wins, but you almost want her to, simply because she’s so much fun to watch.

14. Mommy Fortuna, from The Last Unicorn.

While this haggard old hag (see what I did there, folks who know?) is a relatively small character in the story, her role is still important, and she’s easily one of the most memorable antagonists in the tale. “The Last Unicorn” was a fantasy novel written by Peter S. Beagle; it was later adapted into an animated feature film, produced by Rankin/Bass, with Beagle acting as the chief screenwriter and having a major role in helping to cast the picture. The plot of both the novel and the film is basically the same: a Unicorn, who believes she may be the last of her kind, leaves the secluded safety of her woodland retreat to try and find out what has happened to the rest of her species. Early on, she is captured by the wicked Mommy Fortuna: a witch who runs a traveling show called “The Midnight Carnival,” where she puts on displays of mythical beasts she has apparently captured with the help of her fellow showmen. It’s ultimately revealed that nearly all of Fortuna’s legendary creatures are mere illusions, as she uses her magic to make ordinary, rather shabby animals appear to be fantastic beasts. The Unicorn is one of only two actual, immortal beings she has successfully managed to ensnare. The other is the vengeful harpy, Celaeno. Fortuna has become obsessed with her capture of the harpy, and though she knows the Celaeno will literally be the death of her, she takes not only comfort but PRIDE in the fact that the creature will never forget the years she spent as the prisoner of the witch. The character was voiced in the film by Angela Lansbury, of all people; if you ever wanted to know what Mrs. Potts would sound like if she just completely lost her mind…well, first watch “Sweeney Todd,” then maybe take a look at this picture.

13. Jadis the White Witch, from The Chronicles of Narnia.

Inspired by Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Snow Queen,” the White Witch - a.k.a. Jadis, a.a.k.a. The White Queen - is the primary antagonist of two of the Narnia novels: the original story “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,” and a later prequel tale, “The Magician’s Apprentice.” Though beautiful, she is thoroughly and horribly wicked: a vain sorceress whose heart is as cold as the icy winter she plunges Narnia into during her reign. Jadis is not only a highly gifted sorceress, but also incredibly strong physically, making her a particularly dangerous force to be reckoned with. Any who stand in her way are tortured, killed, or turned to stone; sometimes all of the above. She is capable of appearing kind and helpful at first, but only when it suits her needs to manipulate people to her side. While the White Witch is a very iconic villain (arguably more iconic than her inspiration, since most versions of the Snow Queen actually bear more resemblance to Jadis than anything from Hans Christian Andersen), I don’t necessarily automatically think of her when I think of the phrase “wicked witch,” so I’m ranking her somewhat lower. Make no mistake, however, she is a marvelous character, and worthy of placement.

12. The Grand High Witch, from The Witches.

Arguably one of Roald Dahl’s darkest children’s books (and that is saying a LOT, believe me), “The Witches” is a book all about…well…witches. In this universe, witches are not just treated as spellcasting crones, but rather almost as another species…a species of pure evil, who LOATHE children. Why do they loathe children? Because kids stink…literally. Witches find the scent of children so repellent, they will do ANYTHING to eradicate as many little boys and girls as they can from the planet. The most notable of the evil ladies in the story is their leader: a mysterious and diabolical figure known simply as the Grand High Witch. In both the book and each of the two feature film adaptations that have been released (one starring Anjelica Huston as the Grand High Witch, the other starring Anne Hathaway), the Grand High Witch presents herself at first as a beautiful, glamorous woman…but this is quite literally a mask. Underneath her disguise, she is a nightmarish beast, almost too repulsive to describe, with a voice that’s described as sounding like something crackling over a fire. Easily the most feared and powerful of all witches, she will quite literally fry those who dare question her authority, courtesy of white-hot beams of energy she can shoot from her eyes. She’s easily one of the most unsettling and frightening witches on the list, no matter which interpretation you look at.

11. Morgan le Fay.

One of the original dark sorceresses of literature and myth, Morgan le Fay ranks low because how wicked she is, and what kind of person she is, tends to vary depending on the adaptation or reimagining of Arthurian lore you actually look at. In some cases, Morgan is not really evil at all. In others, she is a cruel but elegant sorceress who will stop at nothing to achieve her evil ends. In still others, she is a more sympathetic villainess, whose dark deeds are fueled by tragedy, or who shows a noble side to her character beyond her diabolical actions. Even her name has changed: she’s been Morgan le Fay, Morgaine, Morgaine le Fay, Morgana, the list goes on. It’s the constant reinventions of Morgan that keep her out of the top ten, but they also showcase her single greatest strength: she is, almost without a doubt, the most famous villain in Arthurian legend (in the ones where she IS a villain), the only other possible exception to this rule being her son, the universally black-hearted Mordred. Arch-nemesis to both King Arthur and Merlin, as long as their stories are told and retold, Morgan will be following close behind in some fashion or another.

10. Witchiepoo, from H.R. Pufnstuf.

Another more lighthearted enchantress. A lot of you probably don’t know much about this character, if anything at all, but I’ve always had a soft spot for the (hilariously named) Witchiepoo, the main antagonist of the classic children’s series, “H.R. Pufnstuf.” The series focuses on the adventures of a young boy named Jimmy, who ends up stranded on the shores of a peculiar fantasyscape called Living Island. He works with the town’s mayor, the titular Pufnstuf, to keep peace across the isle, and foil the machinations of the villainous Witchiepoo, who forever schemes to - you guessed it - take over the world. Witchiepoo is about as cartoonish a witch you can get without being an ACTUAL cartoon; think Witch Hazel and then make her a live-action character, and you’ll have a rough idea. I got to see reruns of this series a lot growing up, and even owned a Witchiepoo plush toy as a child (sadly, I no longer have it), so this character has always had a soft spot for me. Much of the credit for her power as a character goes to her performer, the late Billie Hayes. She reprised the role in “The Paul Lynde Halloween Special,” where she was revealed to be the sister of the Wicked Witch of the West…which…I guess means Witchiepoo is the Wicked Witch of the East? (Wonder how she came back from having a falling house crush her spirit…AND her body.) Interestingly, Hayes also played a very similar character in the film “The Black Cauldron,” in the form of Orgoch, one of the Witches of Morva. I guess she just had a very specific and delightfully wicked type.

9. Bellatrix Lestrange, from Harry Potter.

While there are many witches, both good and bad, in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, arguably none are as delightfully wicked as Bellatrix Lestrange. (Please don’t bring Umbridge into this mess, I said DELIGHTFULLY wicked.) Bellatrix is one of the most notable antagonists of the series, both in the films and the books…which is funny, since she actually doesn’t appear till the last three novels, and, by extension, the last four films of the original Harry Potter movie series. Rotten to the core, this mad witch is arguably the single most devoted of Lord Voldemort’s Death Eaters - an army of dark wizards who wish to conquer the entire world. Some do it for love of carnage. Some do it because they believe they are superior beings. Bellatrix does it for both reasons. She is sadistic and ruthless, gleefully tormenting and killing anybody who crosses her. Her personality flips from a zany, childish madwoman to a vicious, psychotic killer at the drop of a hat. In a way, Bellatrix feels like a sort of crossroads between the archetypal nasty crone many Wicked Witches seem to be, and the more glamorous dark sorceress type you’ll find in characters like Morgan le Fay or Jadis. She’s not necessarily bad-looking, but she’s not all there…I would say that perfectly describes her mental state, but that would imply there was ever a good soul there to begin with. Unfortunately for Harry and his team, that’s not the case.

8. The Sanderson Sisters, from Hocus Pocus.

Well, you can’t have a list of great wicked witches without these three, in my opinion. This Halloweentime cult classic is largely remembered JUST for these characters; I don’t think too many people care that much about about Max, Dani, or…(thinks)...okay, maybe SOME people care about Thackery Binx, but certainly not as many as those who care about the Sanderson Sisters! These three evil spinsters were executed during the infamous Salem Witch Trials (apparently, not ALL of the victims were innocent). They were caught in the middle of a plot to consume the life force of every single child in the village. However, before they were hanged, they cast a spell that would summon them back someday from beyond the grave…and three hundred years later, in 1993, they get their chance. Winnifred, played by Bette Midler, is the leader of the group, being the smartest and most cunning. Mary (Kathy Najimy) is arguably the silliest of the trio (which is saying a lot), but has the best nose, being able to sniff out kiddy-winks like the Child Catcher. Sarah (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) is a childish airhead, with a salacious edge to her personality. All three have the power to mesmerize people with their voices, siren-style. The actresses find a great balance between being entertainingly goofy and actually quite creepy and dangerous when necessary. The film’s popularity has only continued to grow over the years, with it now having a Halloweentime show at Disney World, and a sequel film, where the Witches return a second time almost thirty years after their initial resurrection. This film delivered much of the same from the trio, but also gave them a more sympathetic side, showing that these sisters didn’t come from the best background, and, beneath all their bickering and pantomime antics, they truly did and still do love each other. Always fun to see that in villains.

7. Ursula, from The Little Mermaid.

Consistently voiced by the late, great Pat Carroll, this cecaelian Sea Witch is certainly a unique choice on the list. In the original story of “The Little Mermaid,” the Sea Witch is a mysterious but not necessarily malicious character. She’s not someone you want to cross, but she’s not truly evil. In Disney’s treatment of the story, however, Ursula is depicted as an almost Mephistophelean character: a wily witch who makes almost Faustian bargains with merfolk, offering them the things they want most…but always for a price. With the help of her pet eels - Flotsam and Jetsam - she then sets about rigging the stakes to her advantage. Ultimately, these deals typically result in her taking her client’s souls, as she transforms them into withered, sentient, eternally-tormented polyps in her undersea garden. Ursula’s plans seem largely based around her desire for power, as well as her yearning for vengeance against King Triton. (In some continuities, Triton is her brother…Scar approves.) However, she also clearly takes gleeful delight in simply causing trouble, making other merpeople miserable and relishing every moment of their despair. She’s widely considered one of Disney’s greatest villains, and for good reason; placing her in my Top 10 here is a no-brainer.

6. The Witch from Hansel & Gretel.

Much like Morgan le Fay, there have been many incarnations of this witch throughout history. However, unlike Morgan, whose levels of evil tend to fluctuate…pretty much EVERY version of this Witch is pure evil, and it’s not surprising why. In this classic fairy-tale, a pair of small children - typically abandoned in the woods by their cruel stepmother - stumble across a giant gingerbread house in a secluded part of the forest. There they meet a kindly old woman, living alone, who takes them in and offers the starving babes some food. Unfortunately, it’s quickly made clear this is a sham: the “nice old lady” is really a cannibalistic witch, who uses her tempting home as a way of luring in her favorite meals: silly children. Arguably her greatest weakness is her poor eyesight, but her other senses are so heightened it almost doesn’t matter. The brother and sister must then find a way to escape the evil crone, before they end up as her dinner. The story is one of the most well-known fairy-tales of all time, and has been adapted to film and television on numerous occasions. There’s even a rather popular children’s opera rendition of the tale, along with other theatrical productions. Some of my favorite people to play the Witch include Cloris Leachman, Rosie Perez, Joan Collins…and our old pal Billie Hayes. Yeah, Witchiepoo strikes again…like I said, Hayes must have had a VERY specific type. XD

5. The Weird Sisters, from The Scottish Play.

No, I’m not saying the title, because I’m not taking any chances. But if you know your Shakespeare, you’ll know which play I’m talking about. If you don���t, however, here’s a brief little summary: a Scottish nobleman, whom we shall call “MacB,” learns from a trio of witches - referred to commonly as “The Weird Sisters” - that he will become king. Urged on by his ambitious and dangerous wife, he decides to kill the current king and orchestrate things in such a way as to seize the crown for himself, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Still unsure of his security and power, however, MacB later visits the witches again…and it isn’t long till history repeats itself, this time much to MacB’s detriment. These witches are some of the most iconic in history; their famed chanting of “Double, Double, Toil and Trouble” has arguably become more well-known than the play itself, or their role in the story. While the Witches are evil in the story, their exact motives are unclear: they seem to be bringers of chaos, simply relishing in the chance to stir up trouble with their prophecies and teasing words, leading MacB and others on then sitting back and watching the madness unfold. Some versions give them a slightly softer veneer, making them seem more like strange wise women than malicious monsters. In some versions, in fact, there are more than three Witches, instead revealing a whole coven of cackling crones, concocting vile potions and practicing scary spells in the wilds of the world. Given that this is my favorite of Shakespeare’s plays, it stands to reason these famous enchantresses would rank highly for me, but there are still a few characters I like more.

4. Baba Yaga.

If there is a quintessential fairy-tale witch, I would argue the Russian crone known as Baba Yaga fits that bill. Predating even the witch from “Hansel & Gretel” (whom she may or may not have inspired), Baba Yaga is a figure of Slavic folklore, who has appeared in many stories over the years. She is described as an ancient hag with iron teeth, who lives in a hut that is able to move around on giant chicken legs. She flies around in an oversized mortar, with a crooked broom in one hand that she uses to sweep away her tracks. In many stories, Baba Yaga is depicted as an eater of children; sometimes she lures gullible ones into her lair, other times she kidnaps naughty children and whisks them away for her supper. Of course, she doesn’t restrain her appetite to JUST kids; those who displease the Baba Yaga run the risk of being her dinner regardless. However, she is not wholly unreasonable: in some stories, she’s depicted as being somewhat like the Sea Witch - making hard but not impossible deals with mortals for her own ends. There have been many depictions of this character over the years: from animated films like “Bartok the Magnificent,” to video games like “Castlevania: Lords of Shadow" and “Rock of Ages II,” to unrelated forms of literature like “Babushka Baba Yaga.” Some of these make the witch out to be a more sympathetic character who is merely misunderstood, while others stick to her as a purely evil villainess. Arguably the greatest bogey-story of witchcraft on this whole countdown, Baba Yaga has more than earned her place in my top five.

3. The Evil Queen, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

While I’m specifically talking about the Disney version here, one could easily give this placement to ANY version of the Evil Queen. In the original fairy-tale, it’s not clear if the Queen’s disguises are the work of magic or not, but considering all the other magical things around her - from the Poison Apple to the Magic Mirror to lesser-known elements - it’s not surprising many adaptations go the full monty, so to speak, and have her physically transform into a crooked old crone. Disney’s version was probably the first to take this approach, and remains the most famous. With this take on the character, you kind of get the best of both worlds with the spectrum of evil feminine spellcasters: as the Queen, she is cold, elegant, and darkly beautiful. As the Witch, she is a half-crazed, gnarled hag, complete with a cackling laugh. Both of her guises are iconic, and the scene where the Queen changes her shape for the first time is one of the most famous in the film. Like many of the other Disney Villains that would follow her, she is delightfully quotable, and set the bar many famous antagonists - including other witches - would later follow.

2. Maleficent, from Sleeping Beauty.

DON’T START YELLING AT ME YET. I am very well-aware that Maleficent isn’t TECHNICALLY a witch, in the strictest sense of the word. She is a dark fairy; a member of the fae. HOWEVER, I’m still going to count her because a.) she still fits the basic bill of “humanoid enchantress of the diabolical sort,” and b.) she actually HAS been referred to as a witch, in Disney-made materials no less, on more than one occasion. When you combine that with the fact she’s one of my favorite villains of all time, I think I’m justified in giving her some inclusion. While Morgan le Fay is arguably the archetypal “wretched yet beautiful sorceress” figure (and Morgan, herself, has some fairy-based origins, I should add, at least in some versions), Maleficent is the character I most quickly think about when I consider the same character type. She is regal, grandiose, and refined, yet has monstrous power and an even more monstrous temperament. As an apparent entity of evil, she seems unable to find real joy in life except when she’s causing trouble for other people, and she takes her work VERY seriously. Since her debut, she has become one of Disney’s most noteworthy villains; in many spin-off materials, such as “Kingdom Keepers” and “Kingdom Hearts,” she is depicted as a leading member of the Disney Villains, and she is consistently treated as one of the most powerful and dangerous even in her most silly reinventions. How much she really counts as a “witch” can be debated till the dragons come home, but in my books, I feel she’s worthy enough to not only make the cut, but place VERY highly.

1. The Wicked Witch of the West, from The Wizard of Oz.

While Maleficent may be one of my favorite villains of all time, let’s face it: when you think of the phrase “Wicked Witch” - or, heck, probably even if you just think of the word “Witch” on its own terms - chances are high the first image that comes to your mind is this character. In the original L. Frank Baum “Oz” books, however, the Wicked Witch of the West is a relatively minor villainess: she’s just one of the many obstacles on Dorothy’s journey in the original story, and while she is arguably the most dangerous and iconic, she’s not the antagonist of the entire novel. In fact, after her infamous melting, she kind of just disappears from the series: she was an evildoer who came and went, nothing more. It was the advent of the 1939 Technicolor movie, which starred Margaret Hamilton in the role of the Wicked Witch, that made the character so popular. Much like Bela Lugosi’s Dracula or Boris Karloff’s Frankestein Monster, I feel that Hamilton’s Witch is sometimes overlooked for how EXCELLENT the performance really is; while not at all subtle, she isn’t treated like a joke in the original movie, she’s treated as a legitimate threat, and Hamilton does a great job at making her one. The popularity of the musical “Wicked” - loosely based on Gregory Maguire’s novel of the same name - I think has both bolstered and yet overshadowed Hamilton’s superb spellbinder: as much as I love Elphaba, I think people often forget or underestimate the true power of the original, TRUE Witch from the movie as a result. Other versions of the character have come and gone since, as well, but it’s this version that has remained immortal and the most influential. I see no reason not to name Margaret Hamilton’s Wicked Witch of the West as my favorite - and the definitive - Wicked Witch.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Mother Gothel, from Tangled. (Full disclosure, ALL of the HMs are related to Disney. Weird.)

Magica DeSpell, from DuckTales. (Both versions of her are great; very nearly made the cut.)

Mad Madam Mim, from The Sword in the Stone. (Relatively small role, but very fun.)

The Witches of Morva, from The Chronicles of Prydain. (They’re less wicked in the books than in the Disney film, “The Black Cauldron,” but I think they still fit.)

[mdhwrites]

What do you think about the four most popular ships in Amphibia (Sashanne, Sasharcy, Marcanne, and Sashannarcy)? Even if shipping and romance aren’t that important and only used to teach a lesson or for a comedy episode, it’s pretty obvious that the relationship between the girls can be seen either as platonic or romantic.

So I'm going to first give my one sentence thoughts on each by concept and then canon before going in deep on this:

Sashanne: A unique dynamic that is actually very context specific so hard to actually recreate and I'd argue most people don't even try or get close in fan works (myself included)/I do like them but I 100% think they needed a couple years to figure out their lives away from each other or else post Amphibia they would have likely become toxic in a new way.

Sasharcy: Classic nerd and popular pairing/FUCKING NONEXISTENT.

Marcanne: A bit more nuanced since it's much more the slacker and the passionate one as far as a dynamic goes but not in the way you expect./Held back by a lot more tell don't show, especially in the first couple episodes that Marcy is introduced but it's cute and you can EASILY see how this whole trip will have made Anne be able to appreciate her oldest friend more.

Sashannarcy: In concept these are actually a GREAT polyamory trio and I love that it has such mainstream appeal with a fandom/I don't think it works from the show's perspective because of how well defined Sasha and Anne's relationship is while Marcy struggles to have a presence.

In case you didn't notice a running theme, these ships have essentially the same problem as my greatest problem with the show: Marcy. Her weaker writing compared to the rest of the cast and the fact that she serves a narrative role more than she acts as her own character makes it hard for me to be compelled by her canon self in ships. It's akin to why Willow and Hunter don't appeal to me from a shipping perspective. I like characters, not plot devices. Yes, Marcy is better than both of those characters as she actually has a firmer character than either but that doesn't fix that her narrative utility comes before who she is most of the time.

The other big element that maybe has always held me back from shipping them in canon once I watched the show is actually the fact that I agree with the show: As teenagers, they were AWFUL for each other. Marcy needs her own, personal strength that she found some of in Amphibia but needs to actually put to use in the real world. Sasha brutally changed so much of herself and was clearly struggling with that, over correcting or still wanting to run even to the end. She asks if it's okay for her to abandon Marcy after all, even after she's gone so far to make up to Anne as to give up ALL power in her life which isn't healthy either. Anne is the closest to being ready for a relationship after Amphibia but Sprig's Birthday/Give a Frog a Cookie showed that her self sacrificing tendency for her friends and her desperation for approval still. She may do it for better people than for Sasha but she is still struggling.

They all just need time to figure themselves out as people because your relationships SHOULD NOT DEFINE YOU. That's kind of part of the point of the ending. Take the good and grow as a person, whether you lose someone by choice or by circumstance. That includes for the trio as friends or romantically.

Okay, but I did mention something potentially quite controversial which is my Sashanne take. See... Their dynamic in most fandom works is the overzealous, brash one versus the patient, more responsible one with Sasha and Anne respectively. That is accurate post Amphibia but it also carries NONE of their baggage and usually leans a lot more on Sasha's tomboy nature instead of the fact that Sasha is a girl who can both kick your ass and then worry about having chipped a nail. The complexities of Sashanne that make it so compelling in the show just don't show up as much except as an obstacle to get over to get together. That works for shipping but it's not why their friendship is as complicated and interesting as it is in the show. It doesn't have the punch it should and it's damn near impossible to replicate because that level of history is hard to depict. It only functions in the show as being well depicted because of how much time is spent essentially breaking Anne out of Sasha's control, which is part of it. Anne is someone who pretty much left a cult and Sashanne is her having to decide to now be with her cult leader but not slip back into the mentality the cult taught her. That's... not easy to put it mildly.

But then again, a lot of people just take Sasha and Anne working together for a greater cause to mean they have literally no issues anymore despite Sasha's Angels existing. I guess that happens when somehow the entire fandom doesn't give a fuck about Amphibia but only the trio. sigh

Let's end this on a positive note though which is that if I am so rough on essentially all the Sasha relationships for needing time for Sasha to genuinely internalize her lessons, Marcy is the opposite. While I complained about her above, the strength to the fact that she's a pretty well defined, nice character who can be used mostly to support others arcs is that she more neatly fits into a position for shipping. Her awkwardness and nerdiness is PRIME romance fodder (there's a reason a shocking amount of romantic protagonists are clumsy but that's for a different blog) and her passion makes it easy to understand why someone would want to be with her.

And I do want to say some thoughts on Marcanne. Even if they start on a rough place with more tell instead of show, it actually does kind of work in this context. A complaint I've had about other relationships is not actually knowing what the other is interested in their partner for besides "That's the hot one." There is ZERO ambiguity here. Marcy likes Anne because of her compassion, something she probably has worried about wearing out herself. Anne has always appreciated Marcy's intelligence but Amphibia has made her understand Marcy's passion far better than she did before and Anne clearly actually is into that now that she better cares about others properly. This also clearly shows their chemistry as we know the strengths and weaknesses each of them cover for the other, though not perfectly as they're both still human and the same things they admire in the other can cause anxiety and worry in themselves from comparing themselves to their partner. Marcy in Wartwood and Scavenger Hunt are all it takes for all of this to come out and it leads to more romantic chemistry, and a genuinely dynamic look at what they could be, than a lot of romance movies manage in their entire runtime.

In conclusion, I like all of them in general. In practice, I find most of them deeply compelling within the show. It's just... It doesn't drive me to want to write them during the show romantically because I agree with the show. They're complicated, both as a trio and as themselves, and they probably could use a more solid ground for themselves before they really start working on each other.

And that is honestly even better to me because it just makes them all the more interesting.

======+++++======

For anyone curious why I didn't talk about Sashannarcy at all despite literally being a polyamory writer, it's because I kind of wanted to keep it to the ships that I think are properly represented in the show and Marcy and Sasha get essentially zero time together to try and form a relationship beyond "Marcy thinks Sasha is really fucking cool while Sasha barely gives Marcy the time of day if she's not also giving attention to Anne." The theoretical would be fun to talk about but it's pretty much only the theoretical and I decided to keep the blog more focused on the practical.

Also had a moment after this of going "Huh. I wonder how much of me being demiromantic is playing a part in how I see these.?

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[flowercrowngods]

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

hmm i don’t know about reading, but writing i can tell you: a the rest of us just live here-esque wayne munson/scott clarke story of how they find each other through the years of canon events

for context, the rest of us just live here is a beautiful YA novel by patrick ness in which the protagonists live in a city where The Chosen Ones kinda wreak havoc every now and then and they’re really just kids who don’t have special powers and who are just dealing with teenage angst and stuff, essentially shining a light on the lives of those who don’t get to change the world but have to live in a world that’s changed

all the canon events still happen, except we get an outsider pov that’s unaware of everything at best, and ignorant of it at worst.

for the sake of ✨hyper specificity✨ let me paint you a picture

the story would start in a little corner café, early enough in the day for scott to stop and grab a coffee because it’s something he used to do in university and then later as a teacher student and then when he started out, and he can’t shake the habit and at this point he doesn’t want to anymore, appreciating the extra bit of time in the morning taken to read up on the news or latest scientific breakthroughs or work on his children’s book series about a bunch of kids who investigate supernatural phenomena in their rural town and get help from their science teacher (he’s a sillyman and i love him)

wayne frequents the same cafe, either in the morning after he worked the graveyard shift and he just wants some good fucking coffee before going home and passing out just as eddie leaves for school, or in the mornings before he has to work the day shift. he almost always runs into scott, but it’s more of a polite nod situation than anything else because they never really have anything to say to each other and scott is always preoccupied while wayne is just dead to the world and here to enjoy the silence

but then one day will goes missing, and they both hear about it. when hawkins PD organises and mobilises the whole town to comb the forest for any traces of will, scott and wayne end up finding each other, spending the search together, and they get talking about will — whether scott knew him, whether he was a good kid, whether scott thinks the kid just up and left or if something terrible must have happened. they also talk about eddie, after an hour or two, about why wayne is here if he doesn’t even know will.

“that kid is someone’s boy. if anything were to happen to my boy, i’d want the whole town on its damn feet looking for him.”

they don’t find will, but with that first instance of talking, the two of them don’t really stop. they gravitate toward each other in the mornings; wayne finding a table with two chairs, inviting scott to take a seat even if they sit in silence as scott reads or writes or grades some tests. they instantly fall into a comfortable dynamic that shouldn’t work but it does.

at some point they like really get talking and sometimes when scott has a free first period wayne will stay as long as he can and they’ll just talk the whole time and scott finds that wayne is super smart but more in a practical way and wayne finds that scott is obviously smart in the hypotheticals and the natural sciences and explains things in a way that doesn’t feel too draining or too much. and sometimes when scott is writing or stuck at a particular scene or plot point, wayne helps him out. because eddie gets his storytelling ways from wayne actually. the man’s an avid storyteller if he wants to be; he just usually has a deadpan way about it now that eddie’s a teen, doesn’t make a big deal of the vivid imagination he has, but scott learns to appreciate it anyway.

and wayne tells stories about mysterious monster dogs living in the junkyard (bc the man sees shit that man is aware that man is nocturnal by trade and this town can’t fool him!!!!) — and it’s fine while it stays like that, but soon they’re talking about will again; about kids and teenagers dying in this town. first the holland girl, then so many others. scott knew them all, is haunted by it, gets oddly quiet and wayne wants to change the topic, but he knows something’s wrong in this town.

he talks about moving, too, wants to take eddie with him and leave, but then he ends up not doing it when things calm down in the summer of ‘85 and the mayor resigns and the police is more present. even though the chief is dead. and that hargrove boy. still he decides he’ll stay, knows eddie wants to try one more time even though wayne doesn’t care about shit like that, knows that eddie’ll fall through the system and still find his way — scott agrees every time, speaks of eddie in the highest praise, adoring the way he thinks and the strategies he has to turn everything he learns into some sort of story setting. scott feels for both eddie and wayne every time he hears that the boy flunked a test again, failed his finals, skipped school for a week. he knows how cruel it is, this system, to boys like eddie munson.

things are fine when eddie starts senior year again, wayne says the boy is determined that this time it’ll work out, this time he’ll make him proud and stick it to the rest of hawkins. scott believes him. believes in eddie. lays his hand on wayne’s and smiles, and wayne smiles back.

and then kids are dying again. one of them in his home. and eddie is gone and people don’t talk to wayne anymore because he’s the Devil’s blood, but scott finds him anyway and holds him and tells him that “i’m here.” and “i’m sorry.” and “let’s go look for your eddie.”

and then eddie is dead but not really, and then there are so many kids in that tiny hospital room who didn’t die but look like they’ve looked death in the eye anyway, and maybe this town is cursed, but eddie is back and he’s alive and scott never left wayne’s side, not even in this claustrophobic hospital room that’s posing a fire hazard — but they’ve learned that a fire hazard is the least of their problems, especially when it’s caused by people caring for his boy.

and when that harrington boy is holding eddie’s hand in the hospital bed and on the living room couch like he’s afraid the boy will disappear if he looks away, wayne reaches for scott’s hand, too, because he doesn’t want the man to disappear either. ever again.

and he keeps holding that hand when his kids disappear again to save the world, leaving him with haunted looks that pull up into teary-eyed smiles and the pale promise to come back. and he keeps holding that hand when they come back, when it’s the harrington boy who needs his hand held in a hospital room with eddie refusing to let go. and he keeps holding that hand when scott joins eddie by steve’s bed and takes over with the storytelling. and he keeps holding that hand when he joins in. and he keeps holding that hand when the kids start crying because it’s scott’s tale that makes them realise that they’ve won. that it’s over.

he pulls scott out of the hospital room into the dark and empty hallway and tells him, “i love you.”

because the man is more than ridiculous sweater vests and wholesome funny quirky stories and an ever sunny disposition and scientific tangents about aliens and their existence over his fifth cup of coffee that afternoon that makes wayne contemplate whether he should consider grabbing decaf the next time he’s out for groceries.

the man also makes him dinner and lunch and breakfast and coffee when his nephew is missing and presumed dead. the man massages his shoulders and scalp when wayne’s been on the brink of tears for too many hours now. the man will talk in quiet hushed tones when the police sirens are too loud, and he will shut up when wayne needs nothing but silence.

they have become attuned to each other over the course of 3 years without realising it.

and they can hold hands about it if they want to because the world ended and children died and the government screwed them all over, so maybe it doesn’t matter if two men in their late forties or early fifties decide that each other is what they want next in life.

scott kisses him for the first time in that dark hallway outside that hospital room, holding wayne to his chest as they wait for the kids to trail out of the room one by one so they can drive them home.

the world ended and then it didn’t, and scott and wayne fell in love along the way.

🤍🌷 come ask me questions for writers

[its-all-papaya]

This is truly devastating (I cheered.)

No but genuinely if you do end up writing parent!landoscar I will be your biggest cheerleader. Like oml I am such a sucker for these fics.

I personally adore the fics where they’re still drivers but one of them has a kid. They’ve always got the best mix of angst and softness. But honestly I adored the little blurb you wrote for the kiss prompts so if you end up going off of that I’m sure I’d love it too!

Dad!Lando is a rare gem and I am SAT for it.

- that one anon who talked about dad!Lando earlier lmao

Dad!Lando Anon !!!! welcome back !!!!

i also in theory enjoy the driver/parent combo. i don't think i could do like... irl landoscar circumstances + kid bc i can't imagine bringing a child into the way they exist rn, but i am attracted to the idea of ONE of them being a driver and the other being, like.... adjacent. i was considering this earlier bc i love my kiss prompt situation, but i don't really have a plot in mind for that landoscar outside of that specific scenario. like how did they meet? what else would i even make them do? i invented them for that exact moment and didn't really construct a world for them in my brain... but like. in theory, that oscar could be an f1 driver. and i did think about that earlier while i was at work, and it's cute for a lot of reasons. (i know i just said i didn't invent lore, but the lando from kiss prompt in my brain is a hot little mess, like loves emma SO GD MUCH that he can't stand it and wants to do right by her but like... is also just a scruffy little guy, you know? so like he for sure struggled through her baby years and she for sure loves him so much, but he's not a put-together parent. she's eating store-bought luchables on field trips bc he doesn't have enough forethought to put together a brown bag lunch. her socks probably never match and he learned how to braid so he could do her hair, but most of the time they're running too late in the morning for him to actually do it. but then oscar enters their lives and he's a bit awkward and says he's not good with kids, but his energy is so calm and he naturally just like. diffuses all their energy. combs through emma's hair after her bath and tells her stories about australia while lando scrambles to make her bed in a second flat bc he forgot he threw her sheets in the wash before dinner and never followed up. discusses her numbers and letters with her while lando microwaves instant oatmeal at like 7am. anyway. you see the vision?) i got really off-track, but imagining oscar as the naturally chill "parent" figure while also being extremely intense and dominant on track...delicious. and the first time emma goes to a grand prix she's like absolutely awestruck. oscar is god to her. and lando is like... literally how the fuck are you perfect at every part of your life and i can't even get my daughter to soccer practice on time once ever? anyway. all of that is to say. osc in his racesuit covered in champagne in mclaren hospitality after the podium and everything that goes with it and emma running top-speed across the floor until he swings her into his arms and she's squealing as he kisses her cheeks because "oscar, you were the fastest!" and lando is just. heart exploding. wants to kiss oscar until he can't fucking breathe anymore.

aNYWAY. visit my inbox again soon dad!lando anon ! like in a minute if you want ! i'll yap for another thousand years !

(sorry editing rq bc i realized i could use a max fewtrell mutual friend plot as their introduction in this hypothetical story. unfortunately Drawing Connections.)

[utilitycaster]

To elaborate that post about shipping as if it's based on a points system, the specific incident was that the moment in the latest WBN that made me go "oh, yeah, this seems romantic" was Suvi giving her name to Ame before the ceremony, and holding Ame's hand to write it out, and the two touching foreheads as they talked about what was going on. Everything else has really felt within the realm of "best friend" and specifically "best childhood friend I haven't really seen in a long time, but left an indelible mark on me," which is still a profound bond, but this is the first moment that really felt it went beyond that. And it was a beautiful moment! I think that while Eursulon and Suvi clearly love each other dearly, his response was one of "what is this strange world," whereas Ame seemed to have a better sense of the gravity of the occasion, and Suvi was able to open up to her more (and then run away for having done so, natch).

So it is a little frustrating that so much focus is on the conversation later in the episode, when Indra's message reaches Ame in the bathroom while Suvi is also there; and on Suvi reflecting on this as she goes to see Silver; and comparatively little on that smaller, far more intimate and profound scene.

It's not that the part at the after party isn't fun, but it's pretty standard Drunk Female Friends In The Bathroom except, you know, witchcraft messages. I don't say this insultingly at all - I loved it and think the juxtoposition of that vibe with the incredibly solemn naming ceremony, realization of Ame's position, and - but it feels very much like a wacky sitcom plot, particularly with the Fox's interjections. And then the focus on Suvi very reasonably thinking about her friend, who has just come into her role as Witch of the World's Heart, as she walks to Silver's place is just. You can have more than one relationship - and I mean this purely in the term of Closeness With Other People - at once, and indeed, I hope you do! I hope that if you have a romantic partner you also think a lot about your friends! I hope that you think about one friend who's going through a lot while also spending time with other friends! And what's truly wild is that I like Silver a lot, and I also don't really get the sense that will be an endgame romance and we are very early into what will be a very long campaign. There's no need to try to get him out of the picture at this point, and focusing on that still ends up focusing more on him than on the scene!

I guess the best way to put it is that like, this mentality of shipping - the points system - feels like it's behind truly everything I can't stand with shipping in fandom. It's behind such meaningless shipping bullshit microexpressions (not true here obviously but in video format) and (in actual play) coincidental matching dice rolls and vague mechanical parallels for sure, and interpretations like the bathroom scene where I'm like "do you guys have any meaningful platonic relationships in your life," and definitely the thing I said yesterday about mean-spiritedness. It's about "who does this person agree with on this particular issue that's the subject of this episode" and not "who do they have a longstanding history of being able to work through conflict in a loving way." It's about this idea of only being able to think about one person or thing at once. It's about a focus on a monogamous endgame in a cottage above all to the point that you can't enjoy the journey, which really makes me wonder what you're getting out of shipping. It feels very, if you'll excuse the math reference, like a Markov chain sort of mentality where the present state supersedes all of the past, which really misses the entire point of a long-form narrative. It's like more points and also last person to do something wins which is just the grimmest way to think of love and romance I could possibly imagine, and it's so fucking prevalent, and that's before I even get to how it doesn't even tally the points right, both in that smaller but deeper scenes get ignored and if everything had gone super well with Silver I know for a fact people would just go "I do not see it". Like, people pick the winner (arbitrary personal preference) and then backfill the evidence while pretending it's a points based game and none of this makes sense in the context of "experiencing a longform fictional narrative." And then if it doesn't happen they call for a referee and act cheated and lied to and don't realize it's because they ignored 75% of the game. Like. Is it fun being this deliberately obtuse? Is it really?

anyway point being I ship it but already cannot stand like 90% of the shippers, who are spending most of their efforts coming up with a completely unnecessary ship name anyway, which I think is indicative of truly everything going on here.

[silverskye13]

That xisuma fic was absolutely incredible! If you have any more specific headcanons about android!X I would love to hear them! The idea is amazing and you wrote it so well!

Hai-yo! I'm glad you liked the writing snippet! ^_^

Oh boy, headcanons. How dare you make me organize my thoughts! Let's see.

Android!X is a server that one day decided to stop running in the background. Where I think most of the hermits were "born" on a home world that they can return to, it's more like Xisuma goes into his own mind. Similarly, if someone were to plot a course in the universe to Xisuma's home world, they'd just end up standing in front of him. [I feel like this also means between seasons X just kinda floats like a spaceman in hyper sleep through the void, go you funky little robot go!]

His body is made of circuitry and nanobots? In a way that isn't in any way functional to real life. But it's like he's a beehive almost. He has a living, moving body, but it's built for finesse and life-like expression. That kind of detail needs constant maintenance, so he has a fleet of little drone nanobots constantly doing repairs.

On that note, I think metallic/cybernetic/redstone components don't respawn like organic matter does on death. If it takes damage, it has to be repaired. Hermits like Doc are only mildly hampered by this, since any time his mechanics break, only parts of him are out of commission. For X though, anything that doesn't kill him outright has to be repaired. His nanobots help this, especially with small bits of damage accrued throughout the day, but anything that does significant damage requires him to power down to focus on repair and rebuild, where his nanos can run rampant while he rests. [He's never not productive though. Normally he uses this time to catch up on writing memory transcripts and other general internal housekeeping.]

Android!X is functionally smart but because everything he's ever done has had to be coded, a lot of things slip between gaps in his logic. He's a very smart computer, but he's still a computer. Common sense things slip between the cracks because common sense on regular people is mostly pattern recognition and intuition. Xisuma's only intuition is something he's hand-written in a table in a file somewhere. If he's never had to write/code it, and it's unique enough to not show up in a basic dictionary/archive search, it's a blind spot for him. He can query and in a millisecond give you data facts about the deep dark and still forget that the clicking noise his thinking pattern makes would attract a Warden. This also means he sometimes has weird hang ups in social situations sometimes. Yeah sure, Etho and BDubs are having the same friendly debate from last week, but this time BDubs is 30% louder [possible difference in altercation severity?] and Etho is on hazardous ground [standing on scaffolding, increasing height, personal endangerment? Posturing? Intimidation technique?], which means this situation is actually totally different and he's never coded protocols for it. He's gotten pretty good at reading other people's reactions to gauge his own, but when he's alone, he sometimes has an error he's affectionately labeled a "social short circuit". Good thing they're all hermits and understand when he sometimes just... walks away from things.

Even X doesn't know where his emotions come from. He knows he can augment them [He has a database for complex feelings like "happy and also sad" and "lonely but content", as well as for tonally dissonant scenarios like "feel worried when Cleo says 'its fine'."] and he has on a handful of occasions been able to shut them down when he was too overwhelmed or in a tense situation. But he has no idea where the emotions originally came from, and his ability to control their intensity [and turning them off] is so non-existent it's nearly random.

Xisuma has been trying to code a way to feel pain for a long time. Most of the hermits think he's crazy when he talks about it, but he thinks it would cut back on a lot of his time spent on damage assessment. It's much easier to tell if something is broken if you can feel it break. Currently his only indication something is wrong is if a circuit is actively frying or something stops working -- or if his nanos sniff it out.

Xisuma doesn't eat, but he tells his friends he eats redstone. It cuts back on some of the unnecessary worry about his well-being. It also means when they think he's distressed, they leave him little gifts of redstone, and he finds that endearing.

Xisuma likes to dress up his cybernetics. It started out with trying new paint jobs and slowly escalated to building new body casings with fancy cosmetics. He's very proud of his bone mage cosplay. The little dragon helmet has glowy-eyes and smoke comes out of its nose and everything. Tango, Joe and Cleo like to help him design things, and he lets Doc and Grian go ham trying to stress test [ie ruthlessly destroy] the parts to make sure they're durable before he commits to a design.

And that's about all I've got for now I think!

[loumandivorce]

the title alone of omniscent reader sound very interesting. can i.... hear about it? :)

okayyy yessss. im specifically referring to the webcomic here but omniscient reader's viewpoint is based off of a massive beast of a novel thats like thousands of pages and is not very well translated. if you want a good start to orv i'd start off with the webcomic available on webtoon! its very accurate to the book and you have the bonus of looking at cool art.

the general plot of it is the main character, kim dokja, a hashtag average guy in a dead end job, get transported to the world of a post-apocalyptic story called the ways of survival he's been reading for the past 13 years. the world works like a video game which you might know from other similar webcomics. where it gets interesting is:

a) the meta and narrative of author vs story vs reader. kim dokja has been reading this updating online webnovel for the past thirteen years ever since he was a kid. he fell in love with the world, stories, and characters, and as he goes on in this world the line between him and this fictional reality begins to blur. it goes a lot into how you can never really know the true reality of a story but rather only your own interpretation of it, and then said well what if you replace stories with people? its a really interesting theme that's very well done but takes a while to properly dig into.

b) what gets most people including me into it: the relationship between kim dokja and the original protagonist of the ways of survival, yoo joonghyuk. joonghyuk is a regressor which means whenever he dies he gets reset back in time, and this happens to him thousands of times. hes a textbook brooding protagonist and dokja is very aware of this. but also this is a guy dokja has been obsessed with for the past 13 years. he very much Wants to Be Him and Looked Up To Him. when dokja gets shoved into the novel and they meet, joonghyuk is on his 3rd regression. and he also just chokes him out over a bridge. dokja is like wait hold on im uhhh a prophet i can help you let me be your Companion (the word companion comes up a lot in this story) and then joonghyuk tries to kill him because he can't accept the offer like a normal person. he keeps running into dokja and being surprised that he's alive and they start a weird rivalry that devolves into obsession and then full on passionate declarations of allegiance and THEN it becomes "i cant tell where you end and i begin." no one is doing it like them. also one of them wears white and one of them wears black

^ me and the bad bitch i pulled by being doomed by god

anyways read omniscient reader's viewpoint its good and might make you cry.

[yeuphoric]

╰   * some fandom based / fandom inspired plots i'm looking to write here or on discord. if you're interested, please shoot me a message & i'll get back to you asap !

bratz . i have yasmin & sasha so would love to have a cloe & jade for a fun lil mumu. we could explore them travelling the world, being influencers, and also getting into hijinks just like in the show / movies / games. we could also include some of the supporting characters like their love interests and enemies and other friends. idk just an indulgent and nostalgic vibe because everyone was doing barbie plots not so long ago but i was always a bratz girlie and felt like i was missing out on the fun lol.

greek mythology . pretty open to ideas for this, would prefer it not to be set in a specific fandom though. i'm down for it being historical, a modern au, a fantasy style au ( think g.ame of t.hrones, etc. ), anything really ! i have a.pollo, h.ephaestus, p.ersephone, p.oseidon, & z.eus, but i'm happy to explore others depending on what we decide the plot to be. dark & potentially t.aboo themes welcome for this but not expected.

yellowjackets . right now, i'd like to do an oc plot / mumu inspired by it as i'm already a part of a canon rp for it. we could just throw a bunch of our ocs into a survival situation and see how they go or just focus on one particular dynamic among the chaos. also, i'd love to do something where we explore the different timelines, such as them while they're stranded and then them after they've been rescued or even 10 / 15 / 20 + years down the line when they've " moved on " but end up being forced to confront it all again. i'm down to include a mix of female & male muses in this, and i'd be down for it getting dark & d.ead d.ove.

alien . i'm just obsessed with the idea of a group of muses being on a spaceship for work / a new life and then crazy things start happening and shit goes south. friendships breaking, new alliances forming, paranoia and suspicion is high, resource hoarding, a lil bit of love and lust along the way. something along those lines. bonus points for token android character who is treated like trash by some of the crew, and maybe they actually are bad and the one behind all the chaos, or maybe they're good and trying their hardest to ensure the survival of the crew ( double points if there's one crew member in particular they develop a soft spot for ).

rdr2 . outlaws on the run pls !!! it can be two outlaws running from their past, an outlaw and someone they pick up on the way, or a whole gang of muses that are up to no good / starting a new life / trying to evade the law. again, would prefer this to be fandomless but with similar vibes to the game.

cyberpunk 2077 . anything !!! i just need a futuristic plot that is set in a backdrop of crime, unrest, and poverty that's covered up by ever evolving tech, garish neon lights, and looming buildings owned by corporations. a city of dreams but also death and decay. would love something inspired by v & johnny but honestly i'm game for anything.

far cry 5 . i have john seed as a muse so if anybody is down for john x deputy things ..... ??? but i also just fuck with the idea of there being a family cult that take over and control a town / county and from that, a person / group rising up to save their friends and home. religious, dark, & d.ead dove themes welcome.

baldur's gate 3 . i haven't finished the game yet ( i'm on act 3 ) so ideally nothing canon but i'm obsessed w the fantasy adventure vibes lately so a plot / mumu inspired by the chaos & unpredictability of it would be chef's kiss.

animal crossing new horizons . something cute & fun to welcome in the summer. based on a tropical island ? all arriving as strangers but forming a community to create a new home for themselves ?? relationships blossoming, businesses & services starting up, tasty lil slices of daily life ??? making our own ocs based on villagers / npcs from the game ????

[glavilio]

my annoying beastars thoughts under the cut. continue if you dare

the thing that makes beastars so interesting to reminisce on is that it is poorly written in such a way that it becomes actively difficult to engage with the story without interpreting it as a gay one. its really only aesthetic in the first part of the story, but after louis runs off and the murder investigation arc starts, all of the character points set up with legosi and his relationship to herbivores as interspersed with love are severed from haru as she's almost completely sidelined. the only conversations between legosi and haru are ones in which legosi is being a terrible partner, never hitting any actual beats that might progress their relationship's development. meanwhile, all of the beats furthered in a romantic or even sexual context are feature the relationship between legosi and louis, and while i don't think the story or author are intentionally pivoting, that fact + all the suggestive framing between louis and legosi + how legosi's character foil riz is pretty overtly queer-coded, ends up making a very compelling story almost entirely by accident. there are plenty of aesthetic and incidental things that make the story really... gay (which are sometimes half played for laughs, like like legosi french kissing riz to identify unknown saliva by taste), but i think the the most poignent examples are the more subtle but critically important plot beats like this:

(itagaki really should've had the foresight to involve the the actual intended love interest in the story, so they would be able to put that character in this very important scene. id argue this chapter is THE most important component of legosi's romantic arc, and yet haru is still MIA)

this is why everything goes so downhill so quickly (aside from the drawing-burnout on itagaki's part, and the random nonsense concepts of course). from a character standpoint, everything set up in the first part with legosi's character has pretty much been resolved, while his relationship to haru specifically is totally underdeveloped. so itagaki decides to just revert legosi to a previous state, undoing all the character progression and making him jarringly unlikeable as he appears to have learned nothing. meanwhile, louis has almost nothing to do, and haru still does not get the focus she desperately needs from the story. instead, random elements are thrown together, a few of which stick, but don't adress any problem or shortcoming of the story thus far and instead just make them more glaringly obvious as previous arcs are vomited back up half-digested as the story flails around, trying to latch back on to what worked. beastars was always a character driven story. the world was interesting, but could not stand on its own without the interesting dynamics that pushed the first and second arcs forewards. when those disappeared, the whole thing seemed retroactively suspect: the reader is forced to consider if the story was ever really that good in the first place.

the story tries to have it both ways. if it has ended here, it wouldve been the perfect conclusion to louis and legosi's character arc. the story with legosi as a protagonist would need to end here, or very shortly after, because legosi's internal conflict is largely thematically resolved, even if his relationship with haru isn't, because the story substituted louis, rather seamlessly, into her role in legosi's development. of course, it would be better if the story ended with haru actually having a character arc, but to move naturally past this point it would need to switch POV characters (ideally to haru herself). instead, it has to make an abrupt and very clumsy shift to continue with legosi, and fails both the potential for haru's conclusion to work and retroactively weakens everything that happened up to this point. i think a great deal of blame lies with the context in which beastars was being produced as well: a good editor should've caught this in advance, and the story was likely renewed for new chapters without a plan or really the full enthusiasm of its creator. thats speculation on my part but itagaki's interviews seem to strongly imply it. i have more thoughts but perhaps they are better saved for another time

[mega-ringsandthings-world]

Oh Rings—can I call you rings?— with every Analysis and au you post my mind becomes intrigued you really understand and get to the heart of are favorite sometimes divorced most times fight couple that is Mishanks. I adore it and your post make you day.

But this Loguetown AU... now, that's some sadness and angst waiting to happen. And genius, truly. It makes sense to draw all these pirates and people to the execution and snap them up as they come rushing in. I'm guessing a lot of Marines and civilians died, but I’m sure that was a sacrifice the World Government was willing to make. Did Doflamingo get caught? He’s got friends or at least blood high up, so I assume he wasn’t caught for long.

And I’m certain just as how Shanks isn’t our fun-loving, calculating Yonko, and Mihawk isn’t our ever-bored, apathetic gardener warlord, as we know and love them in the future. Familiar faces will definitely have differing personalities, yet to face the horrors of paradise and the new world, yet to have their Sabaody arc(or maybe this is their Sabaody) and oh Mihawk you ambitious, vicious, little teen you. I can’t wait for you to earn your new epithet, i’m sure it will be… bloody. And I’m also assuming in this timeline that whoever decides to bring him the offer becoming a warlord is laughed at and then bisected for the gull.

Also total forgot Dragon. Mans is in his prime.. I’m sure he got away maybe he even run into a blue haired red nosed clown? Maybe not we can only guess but ahh that’s the fun of it! Who lives who dies who becomes a revolutionary? pirate? who gives up? that’s what it is really all that aren’t they?

All that to say, I love this au I will now place it delicately into my one piece brain au folder we’re it will be chewed on like a pit bull with lock jaw.

Rings is great! I have to say, I'm thrilled my mishanks posts are such a hit, with you and everyone else enjoying them! I was having fun putting my random thoughts on them out there, and now it's even more fun. Angst and sadness is the key! Maybe it's horrible (and I'm not apologizing for that, lol) but I love drama and discord and awful high-stake situations. And what can give more angst than messing with Shanks right after Roger's death? And throwing Mihawk in there for the ride? The entire pirates-are-captured-by-the-World-goverment-at-Roger's-execution is one big excuse to get Shanks and Mihawk into Marine custody together, where they have only themselves to rely on. And since they are going to meet and fall in love in Marine captivity (they will be there a while) their dynamic will be more intense from the start. Their natural connection + the trauma bond. There's going to be a huge fight and many dead for sure, because none of those pirates are going quietly, but the marines had a plan from the beginning, of course. If they didn't they wouldn't have been able to take anyone. And I will say that they were also gunning for Shanks specifically. For reasons. The marines/admirals/world goverment will certainly be the villians of the story. Doflamingo knew enough to get out of dodge before anything went down, as did certain other people. Coincidence? Well, maybe not. I do love young!mishanks, so Mihawk and Shanks being earlier versions of themselves is half the appeal about this AU. You can see their older selves in them, but they are younger and there's everything that comes with that. They are not quite the men they will become. (and that goes for all the other characters too!) Which means they can be hurt much, much more easily.

I said this was one of my darkest wips because Bad Things are going to happen to them, it won't just be threats or easily patched wounds. This being their Sabaody is spot-on! Everything will be All Right in the end, but they're going to go through things to get there. Mihawk's rise will be bloody. (so will Shanks') and maybe it's too early to talk about this plot, but they're also going to get revenge. through some interesting means. After what Mihawk suffers in the time spent as a captive, the very idea of him becoming a Warlord would be nothing but the highest insult. (That's not to say that becoming one is off the cards, but that's a different story) Ahh, Dragon. He's one of the ones who gets away, with someone else important. Buggy having got away is crucial, because him being free comes into play later. I don't plan on killing many people, but making them suffer is fair game. And this entire scenario is going to change the course of the future for sure. All that is too say, I have all this I need to write and get out there to you guys already, lol. I love how much you love it!

[questionablepastries]

elden ring dlc thoughts (now that I’m finished):

i neeeeeed to write this while it’s still fresh. but the way they handled miquella was KINO

EVERYTHING WAS DONE RIGHT

they will make you think he’s a certain way in the base game, almost every interpretation you could’ve had of the guy prior to the dlc is Correct

he’s a manipulator BUT with good intentions. he’s an empyrean that gave up everything for his pure ideals. even giving up that which he shouldn’t have (love) he still promised a gentler world in the final fight. but saint trina…..that fucking amazing bitch in the background

holy shit lol

that part with saint trina begging us. please don’t let the most kind person in the world assume a horrible role even if it’s for the greater good, you Have to save them. imagine if the most good person you knew had to assume a horrible position. you’d want to save them no? that’s what miquellas alter ego st trina wants us to do for themselves . ughhhhhhhhhhhhh and what’s cooler was the npc that’s like how can miquella save the world when he can’t even save himself THAT NPC IS RIGHT, miquella is enlightened but not enlightened enough to do self love i think they thrusted themselves into this martyr role and we have to save them for this reason. not that miquella NEEDS saving but it’s just, i found myself also wanting to remove miquella from that position but also bc humans (tarnished) should not be under the rule of an individual but rather self governing but that’s my own take

it’s almost like miquella is jesus (lol) and miyazaki was like ok well maybe jesus should not be given the role of a god it’s kind of a tough job out there and (personally) to me the residents (tarnished) of elden ring would like to Not be ruled by the whims of an active god in their lives and fates EVEN if that god is super uber nice

and miquella is so kind too, if the game let me i would’ve let him run shit idc he’s a nice guy

also ALSO the fucking fight having miquella do a grab move where he promises a gentler world and if he grabs you again the text “HEART STOLEN” goes on the screen with you doing a new gesture of allegiance fucking followed by the fight ending and that being considered a loss, FUCKING KINO AAAAAAAAAAAAA LOL it was GREAT

overall AMAZING dlc, i explored on my own and somehow always managed to land on the major bosses meant to advance the plot of the dlc, one minor complaint is that parts of the dlc map are sooooo inaccessible unless you find a hyper specific hidden route. i had to go back and explore the rest of the dlc when i had a feeling radahn was the final boss (then i went and had to look up how to get to abyss forrest…) otherwise the dlc is so so pretty. soooo many beautiful locations. my favorite was marikas village, peak sadness hours and peak beauty was there i was skipping through some flower fields as happy as i could’ve been lol

miquella beat the griffith allegations. he’s a nice goober with scary powers. i trust him 10/10 would be under his hypnosis like the rest of his followers were

i can elaborate more on how every interpretation of him is correct (even some npcs will hold different views on miquella it’s so awesome) later but it’s 2am and i’m still riding the high of beating radahn/miquella. once again. mimic tear is the BEST. i had to spam frost and bleed to kill that mf and mimic tear did the most amazing performance compared to all the previous runs where they just whiffed 90% of their hits lol

messmer is my favorite boss btw but they were ALL cool especially the lion dance guys, the ending was a lil anticlimactic now that i think about it bc there’s no follow up after radahn/miquella is dead but we did get the memory from miquella and

man the whole dlc is just sad really lol

marikas situation is sad, miquella and saint trina’s have sad situations, radahn too. all of miquellas followers are sad (yeah i had to kill leda i was advancing to important areas too fast and not completing her quest line)

ngl i think i did rush the dlc but that’s bc my schedule has my free time be so limited and then there’s fomo and being scared of being spoiled :(

but also omg some bitch had posted about the final final cutscene with miquella to complain about hair rendering that i saw PRIOR to reaching that point in game i need them to have so many mosquitos on them for that genuinely i hate spoilers

god what a great dlc i had so so much fun. and my outfits were swaggy. love fashion souls lol, but for the messmer fight and final boss fight i had to change my fashion fit to a more battle oriented one boo hoo even if it was just the chest piece

next time i tackle this dlc it’ll be with my first file of the game with my faith strength build and i’ll probably try to use the perfume bottles, also god the weapons in the dlc are sooo good and fun and fresh, there’s a couple of optional bosses i need to get and areas to explore with a fine tooth comb

i had so much fun :)

edit: i’m mega sad about st trina and miquella lol

edit 2: MOHG WAS MANIPULATED THE WHOLE TIME?? CHARMED LITERALLY!!!!??? mohg beat all the allegations

[wetbloodworm]

more gta au stuff for merri and beul from talking with ez. we got plot now

so merri's storyline in the au goes like this

merri is a hit man in los santos. freelances, works for just about whoever will pay once he's vetted them. has worked for the various gangs here and there. might do some other crimes as necessary to pay the bills and build reputation but assassinations are his brand.

he gets on someone's bad side and gets framed for a murder he didn't do, specifically a murder that would put him on a big name gang's shit list

gang grabs merri and takes him out to the ocean one night, zip ties his wrists and ankles, and throws him overboard to let him drown

beul happens to see this from its boat some distance away and smells an opportunity. drives on over to scoop merri out of the water

i'm thinking beul goes through merri's pockets. steals his phone, where it discovers some kind of evidence of Crime. nothing super obvious but my instinct is that beul recognizes some of the code merri/others talk in. knows he works with gangs, knows he takes on hit jobs. gets that blackmail. alternatively, the blackmail could just be 'i'll tell that gang where you are' or something. the blackmail is less important tbh.

when merri wakes up he gets the ultimatum; beul saved him, and beul knows he's a criminal/assassin and/or that he's in trouble. so merri is gonna do what beul tells him to, or it's going to kill him, and it will make sure no one is around to rescue him this time. and don't try to run because it WILL find him.

so merri starts taking on jobs for beul as well as running errands for it. not only does he not get paid for this work, but his life is on the line because beul is volatile and homicidal. also he’s terrified of the ocean and has to go out to beul's boat frequently at the drop of a hat.

during this, he also has to be careful because 1) someone out there framed him and 2) there's a gang that'll be pissed to find out he's alive. so in between doing jobs for beul, merri is trying to figure out who framed him and how to prove his innocence so he can get both parties off his back

he also wants to kill beul or otherwise figure out how to get rid of it but has to be so careful there, lest beul get an idea that he's gonna try some shit and Gets Him

merri is having such a bad time lmao almost misses the cult right about now

this goes on for a couple months

important to note that before this next event, the whole scenario with kyle being kidnapped and ivan going nuclear on the empty eyes in retaliation has happened

beul does leave its boat for land occasionally, for tasks it won't entrust to merri. i think it's shopping at an ammunation for this. anyway, while it's out, kyle is at sea on a stolen jetski looking for oliver's yacht, and the jetski gets low on gas. he stumbles upon beul's empty boat anchored somewhere and ends up breaking in looking for assistance and then stealing some gas. leaves money and an apology note indicating he'll replace the gas too, spots a security camera and mouths another apology. beul meanwhile is watching all this on a surveillance app and is just fucking BOILING

i love kyle btw

beul immediately puts a hit out on kyle and tells merri to make it hurt. merri, meanwhile, being involved in the criminal world of LS, recognizes kyle and slams on the brakes lol like hang on hang on do you know who this guy is? do you know who his boyfriend is?? no okay look you can point your gun at me all you want, if i take this job ivan orlovsky is going to murder me twice as hard. with beul like that's a you problem, and a future one. right now, if you don't take this job? i'll murder you twice as hard.

so merri has to agree and just kinda panics for a bit. he didn't know this situation could get worse but boy howdy

at some point he has the thought like 'if i could just sic ivan on beul instead that'd take care of my fucking problem and also i'd pay to see that' before he's like. wait. what if i DO do that.

merri approaches kyle to explain the situation and request he help set up a meeting with ivan. he does this rather than going to ivan directly because he figures he'll have a better shot of surviving this if he's got kyle vouching for him. he doesn't know a LOT about ivan, just that he's ALSO volatile and often homicidal, but that he loves his boyfriend a great deal. so merri is absolutely using kyle as a shield here.

there's also a little bit of a 'i COULD'VE killed kyle if i'd wanted but i DIDN’T, this is a gesture of good faith, please help me'

merri just wants to fucking survive this man he didn't leave a death cult just to get murdered on the other side of the country

merri meets with ivan and kyle, explains the situation with the hit. explains that he's here because he extremely does not want to piss ivan off but if he doesn't kill kyle, beul will kill him and then set to killing kyle itself. merri doesn't want to be killed and figures ivan doesn't want kyle getting killed, so, like, maybe we can work together on this?

and i mean yeah ivan absolutely isn't going to let someone live if they're out here trying to get his boyfriend killed. so he gets as much info on beul as he can from merri, then says he'll take care of it. keep doing what you're doing to avoid raising suspicion but i'll let you know when to steer clear and when it's done.

ivan might not always recognize other people as fully being people, but he appreciates people who help him, and especially people who help kyle. he makes a point to keep merri safe from whatever he's got planned for beul

Ivan Will Remember This (positive)

i don't know exactly how it goes down and i will have to work this out, but ivan does kill beul, and merri fucking celebrates lmao

so merri is free from beul AND has made positive connections with both kyle and ivan. the latter of which is especially helpful when he's still got a gang mad at him

i'm thinking merri might also ask for ivan's help in clearing his name with that other gang, after he gets the vibe that he has ivan's approval and that this guy might be a more reasonable kind of homicidal weirdo that he can actually work with lol. ivan sees that as fair, like he knows he already helped merri by taking care of beul but he doesn't mind helping again in a way that doesn't benefit him this time. they work together on that with ivan acting as a way to communicate safely with the other gang, and eventually merri gets his name cleared and whoever framed him gets got.

and then that's that! merri's in the clear! i think he strongly considers retiring from crime after that, though idk if he actually does. at the very least he actually gets paid for his work again lol

I'd say f to beul but no respect deserved there tbh

[terrainofheartfelt]

do you have any headcannons or behind-the-scenes for "it's something new (because of you)"?

oh DO I

for starters i'm sorryyyyyy for letting this sit so long I have no excuse other than life and brain chemistry are Nuts.

BTS-wise, this one-shot within the universe was inspired by a photoset I stumbled across here on tumblr, and I thought: "that could be my blorbos" and lo! it came. I started drafting it while at was at my folks' for christmas, and then it sat in google docs in purgatory before I summoned the spoons to complete it. which at the time I thought was odd, because my general technique with smut is to write it all within the space of a couple days--they just flow differently than things with, ya know, plot, but this one incubated for a while, and I think it served it.

HCs-wise, I've jotted down a few about this universe and specifically the beginning of dair's marriage within it :)

this is how Dan & Blair (mostly Blair) announce the wedding:

Epperly guest writes a post for Blair Necessities covering the event/interviewing Blair

The morning the post goes live, Blair & Dan each post one (1) thing to their accounts

They each pick a photo from what their photographer sent them (both candid, because they look stupidly in love in those)

Dan’s caption is from the Auden Blair quoted in her vows to him: The years shall run like rabbits, / For in my arms I hold / The Flower of the Ages, / And the first love of the world.

Blair’s is a quote of a different kind: Reader, I married him. 

They make their posts from a sidewalk cafe in Firenze then shut off their phones. 

And the internet goes WILD

immediately there’s all these buzzfeedesque articles like “Blair Waldorf, Former Princess of Monaco has remarried,” and “Blair Waldorf’s New Husband Is Hot” and “Who Is Mr. Blair Waldorf?” and “Blair Waldorf Totally Won Her Divorce”

Just to fuck with everyone Blair posts another pic of Dan a couple days later. it's of him sitting at the window in their tuscan villa, pretty much the view Blair wakes up to in the beginning of it's something new. Caption: my huckleberry friend

They don’t see any of it til they check their messages over breakfast the next day. Dan loves the nomer “Mr. Blair Waldorf” and immediately adds it to his profiles (which he only made bc his agent made him). Sherri, said agent, almost makes him change them back before she sees the spike in his book sales. He was doing well enough on a debut, but now he’s doing really well. 

Thanks to his family’s caution (and the NDAs signed by the wedding vendors), no photos of Milo surface, he’s mentioned by Blair in her interview of course, and outside of W he’s only known as “Humphrey’s grade school-aged son”

Nate has a good laugh at it all, which he calls payback for all the good natured ribbing he and Serena got in the summer with “Serena van der Woodsen and Nate Archibald Eloped, Apparently”—a headline that spurred several never-ending phone calls from a horde of van der Bilts, and one—as Serena calls it—“ugly-ass gravy boat” (and yes, she did have to contribute to the swear jar for that)

I actually have MORE mostly about the work after something new, so don't mind me if I share those too ;))))

Speaking of Serenate, they’re on the move a lot and bring Sophie when they can, but she’s old so long haul trips to LA that are only a few days aren’t ideal. So they ask the Humphreys to dog sit a lot. Dan always outright refuses, because he knows that dog-sitting is only one degree of separation from “Why can’t we get a dog, Dad?” and he just cannot have that conversation. Again. 

There’s a lot of anxiety from all parties when Blair gets pregnant. There’s her traumatic history which flares up when it is most inconvenient, plus Dan’s trauma coupled with the fact that  he hasn’t done this part before. He missed almost all of Georgina’s pregnancy, so he doesn’t really know how to be. 

Milo expresses a flicker of concern because he knows on some level that the upcoming baby is genetically connected to his parents while he isn’t and he needs reassurance. 

Dan consults his brother Scott, who lived through a similar situation being an adoptee, and being an adoptee with a younger sibling that was born to his parents, and his perspective helps. 

They move from the loft to a Park Slope townhouse just after the New Year and just shy of the beginning of Blair’s third trimester. She’s not allowed to pick up anything, so she just stands in the center of the first floor and directs the moving until Dan makes her sit on the first chair they bring in (the one from his home office). A joke about a sedan chair is made, and then Dan immediately regrets it when she looks like she’s considering it. Milo’s her assistant when he gets back from school. It’s adorable. 

It’s more house than either Humphrey boy knows what to do with, but they follow Blair’s lead in putting it together. Her nesting instincts kick into overdrive—it’s quite a thing to witness. Dan acquiesces to hiring Dorota full-time so Blair doesn’t do too much. 

The fetus of when everything else changes is male, despite Blair and Milo’s good vibes. After he’s born Blair—hopped up on drugs—is like “A boy? I don’t know anything about boys. How do I raise a boy?” Dan gives her a funny look and reminds her that she’s been successfully mothering a son for a few years now, actually. 

I haven’t an earthly idea what that baby’s first name is (Otis? — I’m KIDDING) but his middle name is Nathaniel. 

Blair and Milo are very precious and anxious and fussy when the baby comes and Dan is much more chill. He jokes that it’s because he’s Blair and Milo’s first baby

Dan becomes a stay-at-home dilf, fulfilling his potential ♥️

Rufus leaves the decision of what to do with the loft up to Dan and Jenny, and they can’t really bear to part with it, so they keep it in the family. It becomes Jenny’s crash pad when she’s in NY, and eventually morphs into her makeshift atelier, where she works while she’s in NY.