#but like obv

[aromanticannibal]

tbh I wish endeavor would be more of a wet paper towel of a pathetic man if only for the horror of it and the absolute despair you could communicate with his pseudo redemption arc (aka him desperately trying to make himself better without realizing that it won't bring his "family" back).

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[kornynao]

i always thought well when i was in middleschool i saw the pink flamingos and thought it was filthy that gay men would eat shit and i thought it was a sign of mental illness …. you know. thoughts that a middle schooler would have. now im in my mid twenties and i love it when women piss in me, and on me.

[oflights]

the main problem with this time of year is the irresistible urge to get fully into bed at like 5:34 pm and outside is like yesss, yesss do it, it's what you deserve yesss. like is it depression or is it just november

[hell0mega]

people are drawing Steamboat Willie Mickey doing all this crazy shit and whatnot, but you could always do that. you can do that now, with current Mickey, just fine. it's fanart and it's legally protected. hell you could take Disney-drawn Mickey and put a caption about unions or whatever on it and it would still be protected under free speech and sometimes even parody law.

what is special about public domain is that you can SELL him. you could take a screenshot and sell it on a tshirt. you can use him to advertise your plumbing business. people have already uploaded and monetized the original film.

you could always have Mickey say what you want, but now you can profit off it.

[smileyobrien]

I really don't care where we end up as long as we're together.

[jordanswitches]

one of the hottest things ever is forced orgasms. someone fighting their body for me. getting them really really close and telling them not to cum and they're like straining and clenching their muslces trying to hold it back, even though they know i'm not gonna stop in time and their orgasm is inevitable. but they'll try anyway because they want to be good for me so bad. "stopstopstop, please, i'm gonna cum" awww you can't hold it for me? just a little longer? i know you can do it baby. i know you wanna cum so bad and it feels so good and you just wanna give into the feeling, but hold it. you know i'll ruin it if you don't.

[cosmicrhetoric]

ok i finally get why everyone fucking loves law it's cause every time the straw hats do literally anything they cut back to him making this EXACT face

[lemongogo]

undine ^__^ !

[coochiekrab]

getting hitched without a hitch (there were many hitches actually)

[manhattan-gamestop]

Out of curiosity rb and put in the tags how many fics come up when you type your last name into ao3. Apparently even though my last name is uncommon there's like 500

[ilynpilled]

not the first person to say this but the main thing for female villains when it comes to thriving to make them more multifaceted and dimensional and empathetic for an audience being “but she loved her children… but she wouldve done everything for her children…” drives me up the fucking wall. the men do not get this same treatment at all. there is so fucking much other shit you can do to make these characters sympathetic

[kylejsugarman]

god i love people watching breaking bad for the first time and being blown away by aaron paul as jesse. like u can go in knowing Everything, knowing about the awards and acclaim and posts and scenes, but nothing can prepare u for the actual experience of seeing a completely real, fully fleshed-out person spring out of that actor's forehead fully formed. aaron paul would go on set, absolutely body scenes like no one else has before, and then leave like "ahaha idk man i just do it, ive never done an acting class i just fucking do the acting". its unbelievable.

[heartinhyacinth]

I think one of the funniest tgcf fanfic tropes is the different reunion type where Hua Cheng painstakingly searches every corner of the earth for hundreds of years, exhausting every resource imaginable, following every fraction of lead, but always inevitably comes up empty, only for Xie Lian to randomly walk right through the front door of paradise manor or fall from the sky or smth on a casual Sunday afternoon.

Then Hua Cheng turns or looks up, ready to disperse whoever just had the audacity, and comes face to face with the love of his life who was just dragged there by a magical bracelet or a gifted to him by cowardly gods or used as collateral in the gambling den or whatever other wild thing that would only happen to Xie Lian.

And the best part is when Xie Lian is getting ready to explain himself to the All Powerful Infamous Ghost King, but has to pause and wait as he notes the full-system malfunction that is clearly going on inside Hua Cheng’s head at the moment, judging by the look of pure shock/disbelief on his face lmao

[cosmosnout]

The most doomed siblings ever

[crimsonbluesoul]

Union ❤️‍🔥