#today after work i shut the macbook i got into bed and i played that fruit tetris game

[oflights]

the main problem with this time of year is the irresistible urge to get fully into bed at like 5:34 pm and outside is like yesss, yesss do it, it's what you deserve yesss. like is it depression or is it just november

[calypsoff2]

One Hundred Six. Part 4

I laid flat on my stomach across the bed, while staring at the MacBook screen patiently waiting for Tina to come back to the phone “I am back sorry” so she says, tilting my head to secure the phone between my neck and shoulder “so you both back to normal now? He is back home” she asked, I laughed “yeah, just today it happened” moving my attention into my work emails “you must be happy” she knows me well “you know it, he is making space for himself in my room again, well making space in the closet, he is making so many noises” Chris came out from the closet smirking “erm, you know what Tina. I will finish this off after, Chris is laughing and I don’t trust him” she giggled “ok, speak tomorrow” disconnecting the call “what is it now?” looking at the email Jay sent about Chris, he is so anal about shit. Just because I piped up “since when did you have this” I looked up and choked on my own saliva “put that back now” I pointed before jumping up standing on the bed “you got a vibrator now? Is that what we doing” he laughed, pleasuring yourself huh” I blushed as Chris observed the vibrator in his hand “hmm how do you turn this thing on?” He fiddled with the device; tilting it back and forth until I jumped off the bed and stepped forward to help him “the base, you ass. You have to turn the base” I reached out to grab it but he moved it out of my reach and twisted the base around until it turned on “Oooooh. Well isn't that fancy” He smiled amused, he is giggling so hard “you using this thing too” he sniffed it, I jumped up to grab it “hey, relax. This is funny, don’t be ashamed “let me see this.” He twisted the base again turning the vibrating function on full throttle “oh, shit” he almost dropped it “I want you out!” I said until we both burst into a fit of giggles. “Okay, enough playing” he said giggling, he turned the device off and set it on the bedside table. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him “annoying ass, I missed you” I said, “I cant tell, you really just using that?” putting my head down “stop” I said in a whisper.

Chris took his time stripping me free from my clothes, I couldn't help but blush when he looked me over, his lustful eyes darkening. He cupped my breast, massaging the breasts in his hands expereincing pleasure at the feeling. Pulling one of my hardening nipples between his fingers, he squeezed the bud and took it into his mouth. Before I knew it I was being guided to the edge of the bed and instructed to sit down. Chris placed my feet flat on the bed and I sat up on my elbows watching him position me how he wanted. Watching him walk off, grabbing the chair from my vanity table, he took a seat and positioned directly in front of me, and I stared at him with confusion "Okaaay." This wasn't exactly what I had in mind “touch yourself." He simply demanded. More confusion, is he serious? He wanted me to put on a show for him? This man “touch yourself” the sex from his voice just dripping, his voice, his tone was pure sex. my legs immediately fell open and he grinned at me. I slid both hands between my thighs, slamming my eyes shut when my fingers grazed my slit. Using one hand to spread the lips of my sex open, I used the other to massage my clit. I was teasing myself, my fingers exploring all around my slick folds but never meeting in the centre. It was torture for me, my walls ached to be touched, a heartbeat had formed between my legs and each throbbed made my stomach churn. I could feel Chris’ watchful eyes on me and from his breathing and how his breath hitched every time I almost dipped my fingers inside and could tell he was enjoying the show. I reopened my eyes when Chris groaned a moan of his own. I rubbed my clit harder, and my slick bud tighten. We locked eyes and he nodded his head “do it” his voice boomed in my ears and rocked through my system, making me weak in the knees. My legs fell open even wider and we both moaned in unison when two of my fingers slipped inside of me. His intense glare was focused on where my hands were placed. "What are you thinking about?" He asked watching my juices drench down my fingers as they pumped madly inside “you” I moaned looking him in his eyes “I'm thinking about you” and bit my bottom lip.

I opened my eyes, and he was standing over me and yanking my hand out of the way. I gasped when I felt him quickly replace my fingers with his own, roughly plunging fingers deep inside me. He hooked them around slid them back and forth against my slippery, warm walls. He grabbed my hand and took my fingers into his mouth. He sucked on my fingers and drove his own inside of me until I exploded and drenched them, Chris is raging, the way he yanked his hand away and freed his dick, he wants sex. He was ready, beyond ready, rock hard. Chris kissed my cheek and around to my neck, he stroked his member as he sucked on my neck until he was sure to leave a mark. I guided him to my opening and Chris was positioned just right to slid in at an angle. He exhaled heavily in my ear, the feeling of me "Fuck, yes." He grunted and slid in deeper. My head fell forward and I rested my forehead on his shoulder. He rolled his hips, hitting my spot each time. Clawing his back. he turned his head to face me and smiled, licking his lips and staring at mine. He brought his face to mine and pressed their out lips together. His lips were warm and soft and curved into mine. I lined my tongue up with his mouth and tried to push my way in. He finally opened up and I deepened the kiss, pulling his tongue into my mouth. Swallowing each other’s moans, I locked my legs tighter around his waist and I thrust my hips against his until Chris was lost deep inside of me. We both sighed and melted into each other. Chris stroking us both into ecstasy.

Packing my son’ clothes feels so weird because past me wouldn’t even even think of letting him go away from me, I couldn’t even let go of him at one point but look at me. I’m just packing his stuff for Chris, I don’t even know how long they are going for but this time away I will get a chance to spend time with my daughters, have a little spa time with them, do some shopping. Things seem to be on the right track and I’m happy, like I couldn’t be happier with life right now. I feel like a new person, I’m so much happier and I can’t thank Sade enough, she has changed us a lot “mama” looking behind me, Junior made his way over to me “what is it baby?” He hugged my leg, turning around and picking him up “awww come here” pressing a kiss to his cheek “I’m packing your clothes baby, you’re going with daddy” Junior looked up at me and smiled “you’re not cute, you’re too naughty for me without a care in the world too. You scare me” I think that will be everything for him, if needs be Chris can buy him more things. I am very happy with life, like my family is home and back to how we should be, and it’s nice to wake up to my husband in bed. My mother she just went but she’s an adult, I’m not going to chase her and ask her to stay because no, my husband is home now and he needs to be priority unlike how I was before “mom, where is my bag. You know the bag dad got me, the Dior one. It’s white” frowning at Rylee “erm, it’s in your room. Look properly” she pulled a face “I can’t see it mom” watch me find it for her “can I use yours” she grinned “is that your evil plan?” I laughed “stay away from my bags, and do not go into my makeup!” She has a plan “just a little bit, dad is not home. He will be out, I am excited I get to have mommy day” shaking my head “no, stay away from it. I will find the bag, just no makeup” Rylee pulled a face “and let me pick your outfit out, I will do it” Rylee had these grand plans because her dad won’t be here, she is so cheeky “let’s feed you now” least Junior is calm today, he isn’t being loud. He put his thumb in his mouth “tired baby” pinching his cheek “let’s feed you, then you can have a nap and then dad will be awake. Then you can both go” making my way out of his bedroom “you making breakfast” oh Chris is awake “guess I will be now, hungry?” He nodded his head “well you and Junior are both hungry, I’m going down now anyways” I wish he was taking one of the girls too, they are so loud “I hope you both aren’t going to argue” the bedroom door slammed shut, I swear I just know tears will be heard soon “they get this from you” Chris said behind me “and what about Junior? Is that me too?” He nodded his head “shut up” he’s so annoying.

Chris thought I was cooking anything; they are having cereal “what?” I said trying not to laugh “my welcome home is cereal?” He is so unimpressed “your welcome home was pussy, so?” I said laughing “wow, I mean what can I say about that? I mean I get it, that pussy good but god damn Robyn I expected something a little better” I shrugged “I’ve decided to become a kept woman” Chris rolled his eyes “kept woman my ass, get back to work” I sniggered “oh welcome back Chris, how does it feel to be back? Oh Rob hasn’t been cooking for anyone, don’t expect shit” clearing my throat “Noella, stop trying to scare Chris away but I’ve been lazy, also my mom has been cooking for us so I have been resting. These nails are not for cooking” Chris isn’t impressed “not for sex either, nearly poking my eye out” licking my top lip laughing “I told you, I want to be a kept woman so deal with it” Chris shook his head “I will train her back up Noella don’t worry, she’s just got lazy” raising an eyebrow “how was it, having the husband back in bed” she asked, “annoying actually, latched onto me like a baby” Noelle hollered “what you mean?” I pointed at him “he knows what I mean, give me Junior kicking me any day” Noella is laughing but he’s annoying “I like breasts” clearing my throat “and?” He isn’t going to say it, he put his head down “I won’t say it but yeah” Noella is thinking “mhmmm, so you both are happy” nodding my head “he’s also going tonight, he’s going to New York with junior so we have peace, no boys are here so we can have fun” Chris gagged “y’all are unbearable. Once the girls are asleep y’all just going to compare sex lives and paint your nails and giggle at who eats ass, then Robyn is going to call me and say oh this person has done this, would you do it? Why won’t you do it? Do you not love me, oh my god” trying to suppress my smile “nigga fuck you” he is so rude “she does that?” Noella asked, “I didn’t think my cousin was such a regular bitch” I gasped “she does, gargling my balls and then asks stupid questions like why don’t I shave your pubes becuase this person does her man’s” I gasped “shut up!” I spat, he is so ugly “no, Chris this is funny please continue” Noella is loving it “I swear to go Chris, me and you are going to fall out” he is laughing but I’m not now “she just weird but ok, I’m going to stop now” shaking my head “couples’ holiday!? We need to make it happen, Chris when are you back?” She asked him “soon, well probably a week the longest” I feel like that will be messy “remind me to take birth control” I said to her “girl, you need your tubes tied but when he’s back let’s go to Mexico and have a good time. Good” she’s made up this holiday “I need to find some nasty games” she walked off “don’t speak to me” I said to Chris as I walked off, he busted out laughing “I’m sorry but the pubes one took me out” I scoffed waving him off.

Videoing Chris and Junior as he came downstairs with him, how adorable are these two “you dressed him the same?” I said, they both got hoodies on “he hanging with a real nigga, he going to dress like one too” here we go with this, adding the video to my story, muting the sound ‘Going to miss my men’ pressing send “all set then yeah” walking around Chris, the hood over Junior’ head is covering his little face “we going to the hood, tell ‘em Herb!” Here he goes “excuse me daddy, hey” Imani said, stepping back “can I come?” This little girl “girl we going spa day, let’s leave the boys to do their thing” she nodded her head “ok, Junior is naughty dad so be careful” Chris laughed out “man, you are my favourite little thing, come here” she’s just so cute, he picked her up “Junior you have to be good” Junior already throwing hands “they not gone yet?” Tianna came downstairs “I swear to god, I know you girls have been in my makeup” she ran back upstairs “they have been, they told me to keep it a secret” rolling my eyes “come on then, give dad a hug” Imani gave Chris a hug “be good, I miss you already” picking Imani from Chris and placing her down “she’s taking my role, be good. This girl, my baby boy. I’m going to miss you so much” squishing his face with my hand, he’s getting annoyed already “love you and you!” I said to Chris “bodyguards, Frank will be with you but have fun” pecking his lips “thank you, I will. See you soon. I’ll call you when I land” nodding my head “love you” smiling at him “love you too poppa” stepping back, Pat took his bags for him “bye” waving at junior that just staring at me “bye baby” he looks so confused “bye naughty” Imani said “calling him naughty, you’re funny. Shall we see what your sisters are up too?” Frank closed the door, poking my lips out “my men, ugh” turning around to upstairs, holding onto Imani hand “Rylee told me to tell you she is sorry, she dropped killawatt on the carpet” I groaned out “Rylee! I told you! I’m going to murder her” Mel chuckled “Herb gone?” Nodding my head “oh shit let me say bye” she ran down the steps, I am going to murder my eldest two “why don’t your sisters listen baby” walking up the steps “they are naughty” nodding my head “and we don’t like naughty people” I huffed out, I am not happy with them two at all.

Smiling so wide as the lady took a picture of me and my daughters “awww beautiful picture” she said, taking my phone from her “look at us in our robes, I can’t wait to have my nails done” adding a caption “mom, can we pick any colour?” Nodding my head ‘I have the prettiest gang’ pressing send “sit down girls and choose, ignore dad if he asks” he will not like it “I will, hi my name is Imani” helping Imani onto the seat “awww precious” the lady said to her “I’m Rylee, I want pink but not bright pink, actually I want extra-long ones” I sniggered “girl, you ain’t getting nothing but paint on them nails” I came to a black owned spa place, I have got it closed for my family but I am mainly just with my daughters, it’s about us “you going to tell her what colour you want baby?” I said to Imani, she is so quiet “red!” I snorted laughing “baby, how about a different colour” she shook her head, this girl is not getting red “ok, same as mommy!” she yelped out “me too” the other two girls said the same thing “oh boy” I said I “better choose wisely then” I laughed as I sat down “their father is going to blame me now” I huffed out “right, let’s choose” they want to be like me “I want white toes like mom” Rylee said, I chuckled “ok, you tell the lady nicely” I laughed looking at the lady sat waiting for me “you think he will care” rolling my eyes “he will, he always does. Along the lines of I am making them grew too quickly” she let out an oh, I am going to ignore all that and have a good time with my girls, it’s nice to just have them.

Smiling at Junior, he is storming around Roc Nation meeting room “does he have an off button?” Jay asked, shaking my head “sorry I’m late” Jay Z walked in and then I see Junior run to me “hey! What happened there son?” Picking junior up and placing him on my lap, I laughed at junior acting so scared of him “don’t be so rude to uncle Jay now” Junior looked up at him “come to me? Yes? Come” Jay picked him up either way “did you make this mess?” He pointed at the floor; there is candy on the floor “mommy” Jay laughed out “mommy did it? Is that who did it; wait till I see your mom, I come to meet you. I have the pleasure of meeting you, I am honoured in meeting you” Junior looked at me and then Jay “let me show you something” he took him out of the room “as soon as Jay sees some kids he’s gone” he’s so soft when it comes to kids clearly “he’s missing his own kids, they are abroad currently” I cooed out “I can imagine he is missing them” the door opened, junior is carrying a frame “mommy” he walked over to me “that’s his mom at fifteen” Jay pointed, taking the picture from him “mommy” Junior said, looking down at the picture and a hint of sadness just hit me, just looking at this innocent girl coming to America to help her family and these men, here, around me. They took her innocence, just seeing her cute chubby face; she looks so happy “you good” looking up clearing my throat “yeah, I’m good just shocked seeing it” I lied, I feel a type of way seeing that now, just the feeling of what she felt and how this broke her, not I want to know who but I know I couldn’t take it, I would create drama and she don’t need that, she is ever so happy, we are happy so I want to keep that.

This could be the man that took her virginity, that is what is going through my mind has Jay Z spoke on shit, I just can’t think straight “you know what I mean Chris” he said but I don’t know what he said “I am sorry, let me be real with you. I zoned out, just thinking about a lot” he laughed “I thought so, I said we want to work closely with out artists so I don’t want you to think that you can’t talk to us. Going forward we want communication to come from you personally” he is speaking on Robyn getting involved “well, Robyn got involved, I didn’t’ ask her too at all, husband and wife speak, and she jumped, so that is all” Jay Z nodded his head “that is cool, we want to do some more interviews with you, get you out there more. We will go to a Nets game today, I feel like we have one of the bestselling RnB artists and I want to put my all into you, so today we will go there and start promoting you more, get involved with fans. Album signing, why not. The album is fantastic, number one. Couldn’t be happier, Rihanna she has great head on her. From the start when we met her, I thought wow. Amazing” Jay Z said, “beautiful island girl” Jay Brown said laughing, I clenched my jaw, I am judging everyone here but let me relax “she looks out for you and Usher is the better idea. Are you ready to tour the world with him?” clearing my throat “erm, I am nervous” let me shake this off because it’s no good, I am just annoyed on behalf of my wife, and I am judging everyone.

[theyscreamjade]

Come Together

Izuku Midoriya X Fem!Reader!

I am on a roll! Woo Hoo! Fluffies PART TWO! Who am I to have some soft moments without this adorable cinnamon roll right here. When I tell you, he’s the reason why there’s diabetes in the world. You’d believe be. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Cursing, and extreme fluffiness.

Falling In love was never in my plan. Until one day I just realized that I love this person too much -Unknown. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat in the midst of a broken heart. Your head dangled off the bed while your legs were laid against the wall. Junk of your ex’s crap was in a little plastic box. From stupid hoodies, photos and teddy bears he won for you after the first date you two had even though your friend’s given you more.

Your hair dangled from the edge while the urge to make a blanket tent to bury yourself in to be forever buried in. The thought lingered for a bit before a knock at your door made you raise your eyebrow in curiosity.

You didn’t recall ordering anything or expecting company. You wiggled from the bed as the mystery knocked again. “Just a minute!” You said, rushing to the door as you opened it. You quickly spotted the green hair as he stood over you.

“Izuku! What are you doing here?! I though you had to work today?” You asked, surprised to see your best friend at your door.

The number one hero, Izuku Midoriya was your best friend since high school. After transferring, you were sectioned to class 1 B before your quirk helped you to the infamous class. Luckily no one was taken away, it was just a tad bit crammed when you were moved in. Izuku smiled, holding a four large bags full of things before you stepped aside to let him in.

“Well, I called out. You said you were sad and I came over to cheer you up. Besides, I wanted to take today off anyway. “ he said, smiling. His freckled cheeks formed an adorable smile, enough to make anyone swoon over him. “I got your favorite ice cream, brought extra blankets and pillows, plenty of ramen and one more thing.” He said before he pulled out a onesie. Not just any onesie, a All Might Onesie.

“I thought they stopped making these?” You asked, curiously. “Did you ask Momo make you one?”

“No, I actually found this at a thrift shop...” he confessed as your eyes looked at him worried. “Don’t worry! I washed them and made sure they fit both of us!” He said quickly before handing one to you. “Now, Get dressed! We’ve got a pillow fort to build.” He said as you caught the garment. You nodded before walking to your room.

You laughed at the thought of him, wearing a All Might onesie as if he was a child again. He’s almost as big as the old man. You slipped your clothes off, simply putting a white tank top underneath as you slipped the large onesie on. To add a extra kick, you slid on your all might socks that Deku brought for you two as you slid on the hardwood floor into the living room.

“I Am Here!” You said as Deku smiled, blushing softly at you. You kept the zipper down a bit even though it hung a bit off your body. “You look great! Come on, the ice creams melting.” Deku said, finishing the large fort.

The hours would pass as laughter, tears, and cheers were all that could be heard from you two in the empty apartment. Both phones were left behind on the kitchen counter after you two went to put the ice cream away.

Deku’s MacBook sat on the coffee table that was moved in the fort and was also used for its intended purpose, holding the empty snacks and drinks. Your bodies were bundled in blankets while your head laid on his chest, having rather close skin-ship between you two while the cheesy rom-com movie played as it came to a toxic climax.

The way the two characters broke up, reminded you of the love you recently lost. Except the actor had the actual balls to break up to your face while the asshole just sent you a text message and proceeded to block you afterwards. No explanation or anything.

“I hate how this reminds me of that asshole.” You said softly, getting Deku’s attention. “We can watch something else if you want.” He offered gingerly before you sat up. Your back was arched while the pain in your heart was still there. “Am....Am I not good enough?” You asked, softly as Deku’s green eyes widened.

“Y/N-“ “What did I do? He just dumped me and blocked me Deku! I gave them all my time, efforts and everything to him and It wasn’t enough!” You shouted, anger boiling in your veins.

“Am I a bad girlfriend or something?! Am I-“ Your sentence was silenced as a hand grabbed your cheek, pulling you to Deku’s lips. Your eyes widened before he pulled away, looking into your eyes.

“I-I....You’re not a bad person..you were just too good for them. Some people can’t see the best in your like I can Y/N. That’s something I’ve loved about you. You’re so caring, hardworking and..so much more that just makes my heart flutter when I’m around you. He wasn’t the one for you..and I should’ve confessed my feelings years ago but I didn’t want to ruin what we have. Your heart is too good for just anyone to have.” Deku confessed as you stared at him in a term of bliss.

You ignored those feelings you had for Deku years ago, especially after you two became best friends. You didn’t want to disturb his dreams and ambitions to be the number one hero, which he accomplished and yet you still ignored them. You dated others to find a mere replacement to him. You started laughing as your heart pounded against your chest.

“W-What’s so funny?” Deku asked, blush covering his cheeks as he looked as if he was expecting bad news. “That’s the same reason I dated those assholes. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship..well that and I didn’t want to stop you from your dreams.”

“But I want you there every part of the way, Y/N. I can’t see myself with no one else but you..” he whispered softly, inching closer to you. Your face grew hot while your heart raced in such a close range. You slowly inched closer to him as the laptop suddenly changed from Netflix.

“FUCKING FINALLY!” Bakugo said, smirking as everyone cheered through video chat. Mina, Ochako, Momo, Tsu, Toru, Shoto, Kirishima, Denki, Iida cheered in happiness as he kissed your cheek instead. All the girls gushed as Bakugo opened his mouth again.

“Now he can finally shut the hell up about you.”

[euphoricdr3ams]

1:47 AM

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Jennie x Female Reader

Word Count: 2,472

Part: 1

Something was off. You couldn’t put your finger on it but something had definitely changed. She no longer responded to your messages within minutes. She’d give excuses when you asked to Facetime. She worked late into the night. Your mind raced, trying not to jump to conclusions. Your mind flashed back to all of her affirmations of love. 

I love you...

I’ll never leave you…

You’re my soulmate...

You held onto those words, praying that the next time you met that she’d have an explanation for her behavior. The history between you two goes way back. You were her first relationship, her first love. You watched her grow into the headstrong idol she is today.

Though she was busy pursuing her dreams, she always made time for you. She’d cancel on her members and stay up late hours on the phone with you. She’d sneak out to just get boba in the middle of the night. The rare moments where you felt broken she was always there. The times where she couldn’t be she sent all of your favourite things: cookies, stuffed animals and the occasional Tiffany bracelet. You hated when she spent all her money on you but she was insistent on spoiling you and treating you like a princess. 

The more you reminisce on the past, the more you realized how beautiful the past three years had been. From what you thought was only going to be one night stand turned into a full three year relationship hidden from the cameras. No one could have predicted you��d both ended up here. When it finally happened, you were both in a state of bliss. A cheesy confession after a passionate session of love making. Could you two get any more stereotypical. You were the first to make the move to something deeper. It took her time but eventually Jennie allowed herself to feel love. After all of the struggle you had been through individually and as a couple, There was nothing that could have broken you apart. 

This made Jennie's recent actions over the past few weeks even more odd.  You laid on your bed confused. Why the sudden change? The one person who you would turn to wasn’t available yet posted about a new endorsement on Instagram. You slammed your Macbook closed in frustration—a gift she gave you. 

“What the fuck?” you screamed as you stared at the ceiling.  

“Hey, Let's talk it out now.” You almost forgot you had your friend listening to you on speaker phone nearby. You were so used to just speaking with no one around. “Have you tried to contact her members? What about Nayeon or Yeri? 

“They all are being just as shady as she is. But can I really be mad at them? Even if she’s cheating, why would they tell me? They’re her friends before they’re mine anyway...” 

You held back tears as you spoke the possibility of your girlfriend cheating into existence. 

“Have you tried reaching out to Kai?” 

Kim Jongin. Kai. The Dance King of one of the most popular kpop groups ever. He had drop dead gorgeous looks and public approval that you couldn’t compete with. You hated the idea when it was first brought up by YG. your mind thought back to that horrible day.

3 Months Ago

Jennie shuffled in the bed, disrupting the peaceful after-sex nap. She wore you out with all the toys, teasing, and overstimulation earlier. 

“Princess,” she purred in your ear. You already knew where this was heading. “I know you’re not sleeping.” 

“Well, I’m not now,” you said in your whiny voice. She always liked it when you whined a little. 

“Good,” she said. “Come look at me. I have to tell you something.” Slick fingers wrapped around your waist as you shifted under the duvet so you looked her in her eyes. You were greeted with a face full of concern. She looked distressed. Jennie bit her lip in nervousness. She knew what she was about to reveal would be a big blow to your relationship and put it to the test. You saw how hard it was for her to speak. 

“It’s okay,” you said, your heart beginning to race. “Take your time.”

“Please don’t freak out.” But it was too late for that; you were already freaking out. “YG thinks it's going to be a good idea for me to get into a scandal.” You continued to listen.”One that allows me to capitalize on internet rumors. They want me to start hanging out with Kai and then it will get revealed that I am dating him around the same time as my solo debut.” 

Your eyes widened. “What? Don’t they look at the internet? Why would YOU of ALL idols need to get into a dating scandal? They already dragged your name through the mud after what happened at the Lotte concert. Why would this be a good idea?” 

“After seeing the response from Hyuna and Dawn, they thought it would be good for me and Blackpink.” She played with the curls in your hair. “Plus, YG is trying to distract the media from something big that has been rumored to be going on with Big Bang and, you know, he always sacrifices us.” 

“Why are you trying to justify this? Jennie, this is a horrible idea. You’re just gonna let him do this to you? What if it backfires? Then what? What about me..?” Your emotions were starting to get the best of you as your voice began to shake. “How am I supposed to feel? You won't even tell your family about us. Now I'm just supposed to be cool while you spend what little free time you have with someone else?” 

You were tearing up. You didn't want to pressure her to come out but remaining in hiding was a huge deal for you. Your family all knew. Your friends knew. You wanted to shout to the world your love for her but you kept it secret, all for her sake. Now she was gonna be photographed and used like a tool to make YG richer. You had to let her know how you felt whether she was ready to hear it or not. 

You saw her face fall in real time. She already knew you were going to respond like this. There was nothing she could do. She was in a legal binding contract with YG Entertainment. Truth be told they decided all of this without her consent and had already finalized all of the non disclosure agreements before they even told her. 

“Y/N, I don't even want to do this at all. I don’t have a choice. I’m just trying to find a silver lining in a dark situation. The “relationship” has an expiration date and, trust me, I won’t leave him for you.” She kissed your forehead and pulled you into her arms. You laid there as she ran her fingers through your hair. You had no choice but to trust her and just pray and hope the situation between you and her would never change. 

You were brought back to reality, after recalling the frustrating memory. “I know the thought of Kai makes you feel a little insecure,” your friend said. 

“Don’t remind me…” 

“Y/N, if you feel this upset you’re going to have to ask her. You know Jennie can't hold up her act in front of you. Knowing is better than sitting around and wondering what’s going on,” she said. “Look I gotta get some sleep. It’s almost two in the morning. I’ll check on you tomorrow...and think about what I said.”

The line went dead and now you were left alone in the dark with your thoughts. You knew that your friend was right but you weren’t sure if you were ready for your questions to be answered. What if she was cheating? What were you going to do about it? How would you handle it? Were you prepared to leave all three years of memories behind?  

[1:47am] Jennie - Are you up right now? Can I come over? 

Seeing your phone light up with a notification from your girlfriend almost made you want to laugh. It was as if she knew that you were thinking of her, as if she had intercepted your negative thoughts of lies and cheating. 

[1:50am] I am. You can come over now if you want. I want to ask you something. 

[1:50 am] Jennie- I’ll be there in 20 mins. 

It was now or never. You got dressed, sporting your favorite pair of sweats and a T-shirt. You washed your face and brushed your teeth, worried about what came next. Anything could happen now. If things went well and everything was a figment of your imagination, it’d be over and the two of you would make love all night into the early hours of the morning. But if things went badly, you’d spend the rest of your night crying until you couldn’t cry anymore and burying yourself in a grave full of regret and doubt. Whatever the outcome, you told yourself, it was better than being stuck in a limbo of uncertainty. 

A sound at the door disrupted your thoughts. Jennie opened the front door, closing it shut behind her. She was wearing comfy clothes, probably coming straight from practice. Her demeanor was off, with a look of dejection plastered across her face. At the sight of her, your heart began pounding in your chest. She didn’t say anything until she put her coat down and grabbed a glass of water. 

The conversation started off with “Hey” and “How was your day?” The next four minutes were filled with small talk, awkward things that you never really talked about before. Her actions were off. She sat, closed off from you. Not once did she try to touch you. Not once did she try to kiss you. Not once did she say she loved you. Your mind already shifted into worst case scenario mode before she even opened her mouth. 

“Y/N, I loved you. I want you to know that.” She took a deep breath. Loved. Past tense. “I think It’s time for us to take a break.” 

“Why?” 

“I’ve been going through a lot after all of these scandals and the mounting pressure from YG and I don't want to keep being a bad girlfriend to you. You deserve better.” 

Every word that came from her mouth broke your heart into pieces. How could she suddenly feel this way? Why was there no emotion on her face? Why were there no signs of sadness or regret? What the fuck was the point of the past three years if she was willing to end it all without any sign of remorse. You couldn’t stand the silence and decided to speak, trying to keep your voice down. 

“Three Years. We’ve been together three years and that's all you’re gonna say? Seriously Jennie, be honest for once. I can see right through your bullshit. After all this time, why don’t you tell me the truth? Why have you been acting differently?Why haven’t you been answering my calls and taking your time to respond to texts? You don't stop by anymore and you don’t even want me to stop by the studio to bring you food. Why the sudden change?” 

You were so angry you hadn’t realized that you were screaming. 

Jennie sat there, stone faced and motionless. She knew the answer to all of your questions but couldn’t bring herself to crush you like that. She wanted this to end peacefully, to the point where you could still be friends. But she didn’t know if that was possible. Not after she betrayed you in the worst way. 

Back in Paris, she’d gone out for drinks with Kai. You’d both had too much and he flirted with you and you flirted back. She knew she was playing a dangerous line but the idea of playing with fire made her excited. One thing led to another and she crossed the line. She had sex with him, waking up in the middle of the night with her clothes scattered all over the hotel room. She quietly got dressed and left the room, ashamed of the mess she’d made. 

She cried in her own hotel room for the rest of the day, ignoring her phone and cutting off communication with everyone.  How could she be so selfish? Being drunk was never an excuse. She shouldn't have let herself go like that. She didn't deserve you. You needed someone who was gonna be strong, not a weakling who would betray their lover and jump in bed with the first man that flirted with them. 

Soon, she fell back into destructive habits. Everything was out of her control but the one thing she could control was her weight. She went into the bathroom and puked away all of her guilt. She was hoping that it would make all of the guilt and pain disappear but it didn’t. Kai was gorgeous and even though it would be easier, he wasn’t you. Truth be told, she had been denying the realities of her own sexual identity and that night confirmed it for her. She loved you and only you but she knew that you deserved better. She couldn't bring herself to break your heart. She treated you worse and worse, hoping one day you would get sick of her shit and leave but the day didn’t come. You were as loyal as a dog and would never leave her side. 

Currently, she was faced with the reality of continuing to lie or being honest with you. She chose honesty. “I fucked up. Y/N, I had sex with Kai.” Jennie burst into tears. “I’m so sorry” Jennie cried into her sweater. She couldn't even hold herself together, fearful of the best thing that ever happened to her would be walking out the door in a minute. 

You were motionless.The truth had come to the light and your worst fear was true. She’d lied to you, cheated on you, completely broken your trust… 

“For what it's worth, It was only one time,” Jennie explained, “and I was drunk. It’s not an excuse and I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise to you to be faithful. I know I'm full of shit. I couldn't handle the guilt and thought that if I pushed you away, it would help. But tonight I’m ready to be a woman and own up to my mistakes and let you know that I love you with all of my heart. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I’ll never ever betray you again. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I love you and that we can get past this. But if you want to call it quits, I understand. Y/N, the decision is all yours now.” 

_________________________________________________

Hey Y’all, I finally came back to life and decided to give you a little something something while being trapped at home due to Miss Rona. Depending on how you all like this I will write a conclusion to this. Let me know what would you would do XOXO Admin YOLO 

[hoshiangel]

the music major (pt 1)

vernon x fem reader

theme: enemies to lovers fluff

word count: 1330

warnings: none

@comerollwithme: Hi, I'm excited for your new blog so I'd like to request enemies to lovers Fem!reader x Vernon. I feel like Vernon is not a very conflictive person, so it would be fun to see how you'd imagine him to be as an enemy and later a lover! Hope this can be picked up and if it does, I hope you enjoy writing it!

a/n: if you guys enjoy, i’d love to write a part 2! please leave feedback if you would like that! this is my first enemies to lovers so i tried my best <3

prompt: it’s your first year in college, and you’ve got it all planned out: dorm with your childhood best friend, land a perfect computer science internship, and meet the guy of your dreams. to be more specific, the “guy of your dreams” is simply someone your family would approve of and someone who could fulfill the role of an average boyfriend, nothing more or nothing less. but little do you know, your music major dorm neighbor vernon is about to screw the whole plan up, in the most beautiful and exciting way possible. 

-

“i can’t believe we’re here! we did it!” you sighed as you jumped onto your best friend (and now roommate) lucy’s bed, which was placed directly across from yours.

“i know! this is insane, i’m so excited,” lucy replied. today, you and your childhood best friend had just moved into your new college dorm. it was the start of your college experience, and the start of the rest of your life. ever since you were little, you had been dreaming of this moment. but more specifically, you had been dreaming of finding the perfect boyfriend. your parents had met in college, so it felt only right for you to meet the love of your life as well. to be honest, you’ve never been in a relationship before, so you were yearning to feel what it was like. the perfect man for you needs to have a stable future, so your parents would approve. and since you were a comp sci major, he needed to be in the stem field as well. on top of that, you were focused on landing a successful internship as a freshman, because you had so much coding experience already. everything was lined up perfectly for your future and you couldn’t wait.

you and lucy’s room was themed pink and white, with matching bed sets and flower tapestry hanging above your beds. on your nightstand was pictures of your family, friends, and pets. it was your childhood dream, everything was going according to plan. 

“so, what should we do first? do you want to get food and maybe see some of the clubs?” you asked, eager to get out and meet people.

“yes! maybe we can also-” lucy started to say, until she was interrupted by loud music playing next door. you and lucy exchanged glances which clearly signaled you should go see what’s going on. after all, they are your neighbors for the year. you both slipped on your shoes and walked outside to knock on the door. you knocked twice and no one answered, because the music was so loud that it could be heard down the hall, which was starting to annoy you. who’s that disrespectful? you thought to yourself.

“should we just go in?” you asked lucy, and she just shrugged in response. you slowly cracked open the door and peaked inside. sitting at his desk was a guy working feverishly on his computer while bopping his head along to the music. all of his other things were in boxes, there wasn’t even a sheet on the bed— the only thing that was unpacked was two large speakers, a microphone, and a macbook. this guy couldn’t even unpack? he was getting on your nerves already. “um, hello?” you said loudly, trying to talk over the music. he either didn’t hear you or was ignoring you, so you tried again a little louder. “hello!” you yelled, and he finally looked up. he locked eyes with yours, and to your surprise, they were a beautiful hazel color. 

“oh hey, sorry about that. i was just working on some music,” the guy said while turning down the volume so now it was only a little bit loud, but still louder than you would’ve liked. 

“it’s okay. i’m y/n and this is my roommate lucy, we live next door,” you replied. at this point, the guy had stood up to say greet you. he was pretty tall, and extremely good looking.

“im vernon, nice to meet you both. i’m a music major, how about you guys?” 

“i’m a comp sci major,” you said.

“i’m a psych major!” lucy chimed in.

“oh dope,” he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking around awkwardly. it got quiet and no one knew what to say.

“alright, we’re gonna get going. see you later,” you said after a few seconds of silence. vernon waved goodbye and sat back in his chair while you and lucy walked out and back into your dorm. “that was so strange, plus who blasts music that loud? i swear he’s on my nerves already and school hasn’t even started yet,” you said to lucy. 

“yeah, but he was cute though,” lucy said with a giggle. you rolled your eyes and grabbed her hand. 

“cmon, let’s just go see the clubs now,” you replied, ignoring her comment and dragging her out of the room. the two of you walked out of the building, the faint noise of music not far behind.

-

you didn’t get back to your dorm until around 12 am, because you were out socializing and meeting new people all day. it was so much fun, but all you wanted to do was sleep. 

“ugh, i’m so exhausted!” lucy said as she crawled into bed after changing into pajamas.

“me too, i need a good night's sleep,” you replied and got into your bed as well. “goodnight lu,” you said to lucy as you plugged your phone in to charge and got ready to sleep. 

“goodnight y/n!” lucy replied. you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep after a successful first day of college.

-

in the middle of the night, you were suddenly woken up by loud music coming from your neighbor, vernon’s room. you shot up and checked your phone: 2:54 am. lucy was still sleeping, which you were so jealous of. why did you have to be a light sleeper?

you groaned and fell back onto your bed, and tried to muffle the noise by folding your pillow over your ears. it was useless, vernon’s music was just too loud. at this point, you were mad. all you wanted to do was sleep and his obnoxious music was keeping you up. you got out of bed and marched over to his room. you didn’t even bother knocking, it was no use because his music was so loud.

“um hello? can you turn this off? i’m trying to sleep,” you yelled, trying to get vernon’s attention. his head shot up and he gave you an annoyed look. 

“what’s the big deal? it’s just my music. it’s not even loud,” he replied.

“are you kidding me? its 3 am, these walls are thin. can’t you use headphones like everyone else?”

“it doesn’t sound as good,” vernon said. you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. 

“look, just shut it off so i don’t have to tell the RA. i just wanna sleep, you don’t wanna get in trouble. deal?” you said, tapping your foot impatiently.

“fine. but i plan on playing my music a lot. it helps me think,” he said.

“not at 3 am you’re not. this can’t happen again. i’m gonna need rest for class,” you said shortly, which made vernon chuckle. “what’s so funny?” you continued, and vernon just shrugged it off.

“nothing. goodnight y/n, i promise i won’t do this again,” vernon said, shutting his computer off. you ignored him and turned around to leave. as you were going, you noticed his stuff was now unpacked, and he had a lilo and stitch poster hung above his bed. you didn’t wanna admit, but it was kind of cute. 

once you got back to your room, you climbed into bed and lucy woke up from the noise.

“what’s going on?” she said groggily, rubbing her eyes and leaning up to look at you.

“vernon was playing his music loud so i had to tell him to shut it off. so annoying,” you said with a yawn.

“you know, that music major might be into you,” lucy replied while lying back down.

“god no, he’s irritating, i don’t know how we’re gonna live next to him,” you said while looking over at lucy. before she could hear your reply, she had already passed out again. typical lucy.

you closed your eyes and tried to sleep, but for some reason you couldn’t. this time, it wasn’t the music— it was the music major.

✎ admin j 

[rohobi]

Serendipity 10 | (m)

Story Description: After you reveal your inexperienced sexual status to your bestfriend, Jungkook grapples with the news, startled by the idea that the girl he always thought could get anyone, is a virgin. After finding his porn at 3AM, you decide that maybe it’s about time to stain the white sheets of your world with the colors of a forbidden fruit Jungkook seems to have in the palm of his hands. 

PAIRING— jeon jungkook x reader, friendwithbenefitsAU

GENRE/WARNINGS— smut, fluff, humour

← CHAPTERS → CHAPTER 11

It's 3 pm on a Monday.

You're in a soundproof meeting room in the library. It's one of those meeting rooms where the walls are completely glass; you can see out but people can't see in. It's horribly distracting but wonderful for those who love to people watch. You, however, dislike people watching and wish you were in bed instead.

There's a big white table in the middle of the room with eight white plastic seats around it. Some of us have come straight from lectures with fresh hot coffees held close to chests. Some of us have come before going to lectures or like you and Claudia, before going to the student council office.

The room is only meant to fit 8 or 9 people but in this particular case, we've fit about 12 people.

You came early with Claudia to grab the unbooked room, so you're in a chair comfortably waiting for everyone to arrive, nervously at your fingernails. People like Yoongi and Hoseok and Mabel are packed like sardines up against the wall.

And Jungkook has obviously come from the gym, his hair still damp from the shower he likes to have when he's finished working out. You haven't met eye contact with him but you checked him out when he was on his phone in front of you.

You sigh, as you think about how delicious he looks in his white cotton button-up. It wasn't fair.

That bastard.

"Sorry, I'm late," Wendy whispers, closing the glass door behind her, standing in front of it next to Yoongi. "The health department are having an influenza talk, wanted to make sure I had enough information."

"That's wise," you smile, swallowing the lump in your throat. "Is that everyone?"

Claudia does a headcount before finally smiling.

It was glamping season and Claudia had pulled Yoongi, Hoseok, Jungkook, the girls and you into a meeting to discuss how we'd utilize it. Apparently, this is an important part of university culture that you had blissfully ignored prior.

Ever since Halloween, you've been throwing yourself into group activities with the girls. It's actually been so nice just to be apart of a group of girls who are positive and optimistic while being study focused and career-driven. You've been blessed.

But you miss Jungkook.

It's been two weeks of discomfort with the way things were left last time.

He's been busy and you've been busy with study.

You feel on the edge.

Maybe a holiday is exactly what you need. You'll be refreshed by the fresh air, you'll be around more people, you'll have fun talking about non-Jungkook and non-law study things. You'll be comfortable and fed and warm and loved.

Whatever Claudia organizes, hell, you're in.

The excitement pulsed through you as you fantasized making smores with the girls, playing truth or dare, drinking and having fun.

As you daydream, the fantasy shifts to camping with Jungkook and you're eternally grateful to be pulled out of your thoughts as your phone buzzes in your pocket because hell, it was getting romantic all up in your brain.

Shaking your head, you pull out your phone and read the message.

Jungkook: Hey, you look nice today

You gape down at the plain blue jeans and Harvard grey hoodie. Your attire wasn't exactly aimed to impress.

You: I'm not dressing to impress but thanks

Jungkook: You're finally responding to me? Woohoo Jungkook: Hi

You: Focus

Sighing, you slip your phone back into your pocket. To be honest, you haven't spoken to or spent time with Jungkook in a while. The embarrassment of what happened on Halloween plagued your thoughts and you couldn't bare confronting those feelings around him.

So embarrassing.

And it's not like you're his girlfriend or anything, this was okay.

Jungkook leans on his chair to meet your eyes. You blush when he smiles. That stupid smile, making your heart flutter.

"Y/N," Claudia claps her hands, "I know Jungkook can be distracting but are you even listening."

You startle, looking away from him to Claudia. "Sorry, carry on."

"My fault, she's still not talking to me," Jungkook laughs, stretching his hands behind his head. You can tell he has more to say with words hanging off the tip of his tongue. "Do me a favor Claudia and put her tent next to mine. She can't run away from me then."

Everyone in the room groans.

"Excuse me?" Frowning at Jungkook, you raise your voice. "You ugly ass noodlehead. Imma make sure I'll be in the tent furthest away from you!"

"Oh yeah," Jungkook chuckles, leaning forward, he places his fists underneath his chin. "With who? You'll just end up in my tent anyway, who are you kidding here?"  

Heat dusts your cheeks. "That's not true! I'll just stay with Seulgi!"

"Oh hello," Seulgi winks, licking her lips at you. "You can stay with me in my tent any time."

Sinking in your chair, you cover your face with your hands. "Oh god. Seulgi, shut up."

"Don't worry babe, unlike Jungkook, I'll keep it in my pants."

Wendy laughs loudly, interrupting any opportunity to clap back. "Oh my god, this suddenly got way more fun. I'm coming!"

"Of course it did," Mabel adds, fanning herself with her book, "You're all a bunch of whores we get it. Will we have to sleep on air beds and is there an option to sleep somewhere else if we have to. I can't stand those things."

Jungkook agrees. "They make too much noise when you move."

"See? Thanks, Jungkook," Mabel smiles. "And they bloody deflate in the middle of the night. I don't want rocks in my ass."

"Mabel, we're on beds." Claudia groans, flicking her hair over her should as she takes out her computer. Connecting her MacBook with the big screen, she opens her prepared PowerPoint slideshow.

The first slide shows a glamping location in Busan that she liked. "Alright, my Busan babes in the room. Welcome to camp cozy."

To say the campsite was beautiful was an understatement.

There were four big khaki tents and they were already set up at the site with large beds and furniture within. Fairy lights all over the place, fluffy blankets, fluffy pillows, big bean bags. Christ. It was perfect. "From my expert research and communication skills, each tent comes with a double bed, so we have beds for 8 people."

Yoongi raises his hand. "I have a question."

Claudia nods.

"I don't want to share a tent with anyone else because I plan on having a lot of sex in my tent, where do I go?"

Everyone in the room snorts.

"What? I'm asking what you're all thinking?"

Wendy walks across the room to slap his back. She chuckles madly. "I agree."

"I'm not bumping uglies with you Wendy, don't act like we're on the same team," Yoongi shakes her hand off his back. "Although if my date doesn't turn up, I'm happy to cuddle and stroke your hair and talk about our boy problems."

She stands in front of him, blinking in confusion. "Are you being serious because that actually sounds so fucking nice."

He laughs loudly at her. "Of course I'm not."

Wendy pouts, raising her shoulders to her cheeks as she walks back to her side of the room. "Asshole."

Claudia clicks next on the slideshow, showing alternative options. "Our options are 4 big tents for 8 people or 10 if you're little, and if you want privacy, don't come," pointing to the beach she cheekily adds, "I hear the sand is a nice mattress, why don't you find out Yoongi?"

"I've never had sex on a beach before," Yoongi deflates, "Am I okay to bring my own tent then? I'll pitch it myself, I'll even drive down myself?"

"Sure," clicking onto the next slides, she goes through items we'll need and an estimate of the cost. "If anyone wants to help organize this?"

You're acutely aware your phone is buzzing in your pocket but you're also aware that it's Jungkook because he's on his phone and he's aiming it at you. Biting your bottom lip, you raise out of your seat.

"Should we split up into groups to help organize this? Transport, Food, Cleaning, Finance, Activities?"

Claudia beams, finally happy someone was contributing to the organization of it. "That's a beautiful idea, oh bless your little cotton socks."

Everyone mutters between themselves as Claudia opens up her google document. You watch as she types your name under food and Jungkook's under transport.

"Is Y/N a good cook?" Hoseok asks Yoongi, crossing his arms across his chest. "I bet she is. She can cook for me any day. We love a kitchen bitch."

"She can like totally hear you," Mabel says, rolling her eyes. "And she is like 100% taken you giant ass."

"No, she isn't," Hoseok holds his hands up in surrender. "Last time I checked, she was single."

"Ugh, who even invited you," she stands up, walking over to him. "You're lucky I find you attractive otherwise, you'd be blOCKED from coming. Aren't you studying sociology or something."

You don't need to look at Jungkook to know that he's beaming in delight and is now a big fan of Mabel. The tension in the air between Jungkook and Hoseok makes you uncomfortable. You've never been put in a position like this before giving you were just a virgin like a couple of months ago and had no idea what a peen actually looked like.

"Looks like I have a fan." Hoseok steps closer to Mabel and whispers into her ear. No one knows what he says but she blushes and rushes out of the room.

"What'd you say to Mabel?" You ask concerned, she's never run off so fast.

"I have seduction superpowers," Hoseok winks at me. "Want me to come over and whisper in your ear too? Bet I can seduce you in less than a second."

"No thank you," You gulp, unsure what to say to that. Jungkook stands out of his chair, glaring at Hoseok. "Leave her alone bro."

"What?" Hoseok chuckles, winking at you again. "I'm just having a bit of fun with her. She's so kitten-like, makes me want to get to know her a bit more."

There's a possessive tone to Jungkook's defense that's both intimidating and sexy. "Well, don't. Shut the fuck up. Leave the girls alone."

"Am I not allowed to? She looks like she's enjoying it?

Seulgi sinks into her seat next to you.

"No, you aren't allowed to," You've never seen Jungkook so angry before. "She's mine, back off."

The whole room goes silent at that.

The tension in the room is palpable.

And your heart is pounding against your chest.

"Is that true," he asks you, goading you to speak up with his eyebrows. "Are you Jungkook's girlfriend?"

Your heart is pounding so hard against your chest that it's deafening in your eats.

What am I supposed to say to that because I honestly am not his girlfriend officially, although it would be nice? This is not how I thought this meeting would go at all and quite frankly, I'm pissed. Jungkook's face is pink. It's the only thing I can focus on. I can't even remember what he asked me. He seems to want to know the answer to Hoseok's question as well, as though he doesn't know the answer either. Dumbass. They're all dummies. Who are these people and why are they putting me on the spot like this. I didn't ask for any of this, I'm just simple girl-

"Ooh, Jimin wants to get coffee," Yoongi giggles, interrupting your thoughts, softening the tension in the room as he gapes at his phone. "There's too much testosterone in this room, why not you both just fuck each other and get over it."

For a second you think Yoongi is referring to you and Jungkook.

Anger dissipates when Yoongi slaps Hoseoks ass. "Sounds like you both need to relieve some tension and normally, I enjoy a bit of torture but this is horrible. Claudia, message me with details, I'd love to come. It okay if I bring Jimin?"

She nods.

Yoongi doesn't say anything after that. He simply picks up his backpack, nods at Claudia before leaving the room. You wish you had the guts to do the same but you feel frozen and Claudia looks desperate for help now.

Hoseok sighs. "Looks like she's single my bro."

Jungkook says nothing to this.

He simply stares at you in an unreadable expression as you stand and walk towards him.

Gesturing for him to sit down, you pat his back to calm him, he leans into your touch like a kitten being scratched behind its ear. "Sit down and calm down, I don't know why you boys get off on tormenting girls but cut it out or I'll cut YOU out."

Jungkook apologizes while taking his seat.

"And you," Pointing at Hoseok, you scoff. "Who even are you? You don't get to speak to me or about me like that. Women aren't pieces of meat, we're human beings. Now, shut the hell up and keep your dick in your skirt and your tongue in your mouth."

The girls laugh behind you.

Claudia thanks you.

Fucking Hoseok.

You decide then and there, that when you go glamping, you'll piss in his shampoo.

Little bitch.

"Now that everyone's finished their periods. Jungkook, you're the team captain for transport, liaise with me so we can try and get a discount or something," she writes Seulgi's name underneath his, "Hoseok, how do you feel about organizing activities?"

He picks up his laptop bag. "I'm fine with any job you give me Claudia. As long as people aren't afraid of drinking games, we should be A-okay," he lifts his wrist, staring at his watch. "Naeun is pretty fun as well, can she work with me since Y/N can't?"

"Be careful Hoseok," Claudia warns, adding her name to the list, she finishes. "Anyone who isn't in a group by the end of the day will be on cleaning duties."

She then re-opens the map, showing us the trip location. You stare at the pictures as she flicks through them. There's something so nice about camping by the beach, a nice dip when it's too hot, a bonfire at night with the sound of cascading waves.

Your phone buzzes once more in your pocket. You pull it out, knowing it's going to be a message from the mousy brunette still huffing in anger.

Jungkook: Can we talk after this?

Looking above your phone, Jungkook tilts his head at you, a worried expression sits between his brows.

Taking a deep breath, you respond.

You: I'm hungry, want to get something to eat?

Jungkook: Can we go now?

You: When Claudia is finished.

"Claudia, are you done?" Jungkook asks, placing his hands together in prayer. "Please be done. I'm so hungry."

Seulgi frowns. "Is that what it is, hanger?"

Hoseok winks at Seulgi.

"Ugh, can someone fucking uninvite him," she gags loudly, "He might give us all ear chlamydia."

You watch the cocky little shit deflate. A bit of you feels sorry for him but after what he just pulled with you and Jungkook, hall hath no fury like a scorched betch.

"I guess this meeting is over then," Claudia sighs, closing her computer down as well. "I'll make us a group chat to discuss it."

Jungook loudly jumps out of his seat, the gloom worried appearance he previously wore, now replaced with pure happiness. "Yes, let's go eat Y/N!" He rushes over to your side of the table to help you pack up.

"Ooh, can I come?" Wendy and Seulgi both ask.

"No, "Jungkook pulls you out of your chair, patting your bum as you leave the meeting room. "We need to talk and eat, you guys can go eat and talk with someone else."

You don't even have enough time to say goodbye or apologies or tell Claudia you won't be coming to the council office because Jungkook is rushing you out of the room, down the aisles of the library and into the darkest parts of the university library.

You're going in the opposite direction to food as he takes you within the deep depths of the math and science department.

"Jungkook, where are you taking me?"

He hushes you. "We gotta talk."

Irritated, you stop. "Jungkook, I don't really want to talk, I wanna eat," turning around to face him, he grabs your shoulders, pushing you down the aisle backward. "JUNGKOOK!"

"You have no choice, we need to talk," He stops, then he looks left and right before softly pushing you up against the wall. It's clumsy and not at all sexy when Jungkook tries to bypass the big ass fake plant next to you and you slightly trip as he pushes you back up against the wall. His hold on you is strong, as he quite literally picks you up by the shoulders to help you stand.

"Now, You." he starts.

"No, you let me talk," You harshly whisper, "You gotta give a girl a warning and I'm starving so let's do this later."

Dropping his hands from your shoulders. He stares deeply into your eyes. "Shut up for a second will you? Or I'll make you shut up. I have that power you know."

"Jungkook, what the hell," you whisper, pushing his chest away from yours. "You could've just asked me to follow you, you didn't need to push me up against the damn wa-

You don't get to finish what you were saying because Jungkook slams his lips against yours, stopping the words from leaving your mouth. The kiss is startling but not unwelcome as you close your eyes and melt once again into him.

Moving his hand up against your body, he cups the back of your neck. He's unexpectedly rough as he grips on your hair, pulling your body against his. Your hands rest on his waist as you easily fall back into the rhythm.  

He kisses you like he's starving like he hasn't had food in days.

Oh man, this boy.

Raising your hands, you hold his face tenderly, hoping he gets the point to soften the kiss. Kisses with Jungkook are always magical but this one had so much feeling. Each movement of his lips and his tongue were filled with unspoken words, fears, and anxieties. It was startling how much a kiss could say and how much this kiss overwhelmed you.

He holds you close, not wanting to let you go.

Your body shivers, sensitive to his touch as his warm hands continue touching you.

He loosens his grip on your hair, resting his warm palm on the back of your neck. It's a feeling you're familiar with, being held so tenderly.

Pulling away from the kiss, Jungkook leans his forehead on yours.

You both pant from the intensity of the emotions, your eyes still closed.

"It's been hell without you, Y/N," he catches his breath, his voice a soft whisper. "I can't take this anymore. I've reached my limit."

"What?" Opening your eyes in panic, your heart stops as you stare into his gentle brown eyes. Is he ...is he dumping you. "Wait, what do you mean by that Jungkook?"

He steps back, unable to meet you in the eyes. "I can't do this anymore. I can't hold myself back anymore. I'm getting jealous. I want to have you around all the time. I want you to study with me. I want you to call me in the morning and before you go to bed. I want to hold your hand when we walk around campus. I want people to know that you're mine and that I'm yours. I want to kiss you. I want to fuck you. I want to hold you as you cum. I want all of it. "

You're confused. "What? Jungkook, I-

He presses his hand up against your mouth.

"I don't like this uncertainty of who I am to you, I'm creating a boundary right here and I want it around us," He releases his finger to let you respond, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

...

[minyoongisjiminie]

(M) “want my attention? make me give it to you.“

(gif cr)

ship: namjoon x reader

genre: smut

disclaimer: fingering, dirty talk, face riding

synopsis: your boyfriend was once again very busy in his studio. Working on some tracks. But you wanted to spend time with him, yet his tracks seem more important. Good enough for you, that you knew how to lure him out...

words: 2.4k

a/n: yeah.. idk.. i'm sorry for this I guess ahaha. I really wanted to write some smut again but yeah I guess I suck at it. I guess learning by doing haha :') also sorry that it took me so long to post this :( I had an exhausting week, and couldn’t find the time to look over it :’) But yeah.. hopefully you’ll like it <3

-

It was already passing 2 am, and you almost waited 2 hours till Namjoon gets finished with his work at the studio. Of course you didn’t wanted to bother him while he’s working, so you sat outside of the studio on a coach and waited for him. 

It was a hard day, you were completely cramped from all the work you needed to endure today, so you anticipated to see your boyfriend after a long time. You knew that he was always so busy with his work, so you made sure that you didn’t disturb him on weekdays. But since it was friday night already, you just wanted to spend some quality time with him and relax yourself from all the stress you went through. However as it appeared to be.. Joon had different plans. 

Right now, at this moment you could just go home and lay yourself to sleep! Gosh, you did not needed to wait for him at all, but he assured you that it will not take up so much time, that he will be finished soon and you both will grab some ice cream as a late night snack. Well... 2 am in the morning was a very late night snack.

Soon the clock shows that it’s 3 am, and you were done with the waiting. You stood up, furious and knocked on Joon’s door. 

No response.

You keep on knocking, with every knock you put in more strength in your fist. But still there is rarely a response from him. Carefully you put an ear on the door, to listen if you could catch any sounds that came from him. You could swear that you heard repeated little sighs coming from him, probably because of your loud knocking. 

‘Oh you want it like that? You’ll get it like that!’

You knew Joon’s code for his lock, but he always requested that you wouldn’t use it as long as he was living behind the doors. He still gave it to you, because he trusted you and also wanted to give you a code so you could be helpful in dangerous situations.

If this wasn’t a dangerous situation for you... then you didn’t know what was. 

Quickly you typed in the six digit number, and opened the large door.

“Are you completely crazy?!” You started to scream, you realised how angry you actually were, and how disrespectful it was from your boyfriend to keep you waiting, so that he could work on his important tracks. 

He spinned around with his chair towards you and just sighed. His eyes were completely red, which didn’t surprise you since you knew that he didn’t sleep for days and was just chained towards his computer.

“Y/N..” He started. He layed his hands on his strong thighs and turned his head slightly towards you. “You know how  important these tracks are right now... If I invest the times in those, we can spend the entire week together!” His voice sounded calm as always, he was not the type of person who would start to scream around filled with rage. He wouldn’t lose his coolness.

Shortly, he wasn’t you. 

“I’m waiting for literally 3 hours! That’s not fucking fair!” You continued to pull out an discussion with him. “That’s not.. fair..” You repeated, more to yourself, with a exhausted undertone. “Y/N.. don’t be like that.. It sucks to see you like this..” You knew that he hated it when you would pout sadly like that, he also exactly knew that he couldn’t leave you alone like this, he couldn’t escape you easily, if he wanted to. 

He scratched his forehead, and let out a deep sigh. “Come here..” He stood up and grasped your wrist. However you still stood there, glued to the spot, and didn’t saw a reason to give in that quickly. “Y/N-ie..” he called again cutely. You breathed out shortly and followed him to the spot he leaded you. He put his index finger on his bright macbook screen, that showed some white thick lines and numerations. You had no single clue about anything. “Are you satisfied with those tracks?” You reply to his gesture, and felt how your legs slowly started to give in. The wearyness kicked in, and it didn’t wonder you at all. You needed to stand the entire day and talk with customers. It was exhausting.. “Hmm.. Kind of I guess..” he said delayed. He put his one hand on your waist and you felt the warmth of his skin clearly. “Joonie.. I’m so tired.. But also so tensed that I already know that I can’t sleep at all..” Namjoon smiled his cute little crooked smile and guided you onto his lap. “Hmmm.. what can we do about that..” His hands were intertwined with yours and you realised how you softened a little. You layed your head on his shoulder and hugged him, showing that stupid computer your back. You recognized how relaxed you already were. That was the magic of Kim Namjoon huh?

“Can’t we just go to bed already?” You said, while your head was still resting on his shoulder. “I told you I needed to get this done.. hm?” He responded, pretty sweetly, and it reminded you of a mother who was telling her child that she wouldn’t buy her child the toy but assured she would when the child would be a good kid.

lol you weren’t a good girl.. and joon knew that. 

One thing he couldn’t resist.. was you. But you as the tempter you turned into, when you wanted something. You bribed him with specific things that you would never do in bed, or specific things that he wanted to do to you so dearly, but you didn’t feel ready for. You guys were together for about one and a half years, and of course you had sex multiple times. Nevertheless it was nothing too spectacular, just normal boring sex. It wasn’t like, you didn’t try to add some spice to it.. but you just were too shy.. even when joon tried to tell you so often what he wanted to do to you.. he was still a gentlemen and didn’t force you to do things that you didn’t feel comfortable with. 

Currently, you were sitting mostly on his thick thighs than anywhere near his crotch. You changed that quickly. You slipped way to the back, until you got really close to his dick. You hear a little fuck that comes out of his mouth and he cleared his throat roughly. As a response you smile lightly. That’s what you wanted in the first place.. Now the second method starts: You lay way back until your neck was just milimeters apart from his lips, and made little gestures with your arms as if you were stretching yourself. You yawn fakely. “Y/N..” He started to spell out your name carefully and slowly, yet still hungrily. You go back to your first position and turn around to the point that you can face him. “Shh..” You whisper silently. Putting your index finger on his perfect full lips. “Should we try something new?” Is everything you said and you could see how his eyes started to sparkle. “Wha-” He cleared his throad once again. “What.. do.. you mean with.. that..?” he replied and you realised how he started to stutter. He was so cute.. fuck.. 

You gradually came closer to his ear and played around with his shirt that was sticking onto his chest. “You heared correctly..” You whispered fierily into his ear, and you recognized once again how his dick was happy as well. “But my trac-” He started, but you quickly put your finger on his lips, to stop him from talking. After looking at a quite cutely looking namjoon that was staring at you with a puzzled look on his face, you put your lips on his. Quickly you started to explore his tongue with yours. Hmm.. he tasted delicious. Even though he worked for such a long time, and one could think that he tasted not right, or that it could be unhygenic, you didn’t tasted that. He tasted so delicious, like tiramisu and raspberries at once. 

He cupped your face and started to bite on your underlip. He indeed was confused on why you were so eager to try new things. You both rarely tongue kissed each other, and you realise that he wants to enjoy the moment as soon as you feel like doing it. 

“Shit.. what are you doing to me..” He said while pecking your lips. His fingers automatically started to pull your straps from both your top and bra down, and started to kiss your neck. His favorite body part as mentioned. You couldn’t stop yourself from moaning a little, and he smiled. “Who thought that you’ll turn into such a... bad girl..” Just these intense words of his made you shiver. He literally called you a “bad girl” and even though you hated dirty talk, especially in movies, you now realized how much you loved it when Joon was saying it. These words came out of his mouth so quickly and dark, you wanted to gift him any allowance, to do things that he never managed to do to you. 

You slowly started to grind on him, and you also made sure that you stare at him to find out if he liked it or not. And you were happy to see that his eyes shut together and his lips escaped a few little moans. 

“You love that.. huh?” You said back, also trying some darker undertones. “fuck.. yes..” He replied, his hands pulling slightly on your hair, which you loved. It wasn’t rough pulls, but it was intense. You fastened your pace just to see how he would react and he almost went crazy. “SHIT... stop it or..” He started, but you grinding on his thighs made him go to a different universe. Joon tried to hold back his moans but he really couldn’t. 

“You get that back, princess.” He said quickly in your hair. 

You felt how his fingers came closer to your core, you stared at him, and there was no familiar joon to see. You saw a whole new joon. Someone who was ready to punish you.. 

He teased you a little with his index finger and you could feel how the fabric of your underwear started to soak. “Ahh..” You laid your chin on joons shoulders and let him take control over your body. You never ever let him finger or taste you. Not that you wouldn’t like it, but you were too uncomfortable.. Nevertheless Joon was always so eager to do it. But you always pushed his hands away and redefined that you weren’t ready. 

Now you were hun. 

After his little teasing he pulled your underwear away and started to discover your core with his index finger. For the first time. You never realised how good this would feel like. You imagined that this literally feels like a trip. Eyes stayed shut and with every change of pace of his fingers, you saw different things flying around while your eyes were closed. First there were some light asteriks, then there were stars and with every fastening pace he did you saw explosive red and yellow colors.

But even after that color festival, Joon was indeed not finished with you. He started to take a second finger with him and you almost went crazy. “ahhh, joon-” You started to grind on his finger, and he continued to kiss your neck, making sure to leave love bites. Then he suddenly stopped. 

“Whaa-” He touched your shoulders and made you face him. 

“Can I try something princess?” You loved that he called you like that. It was fucking sexy, and you always wanted him to call you like that. 

You also were sure that you would love it, so you just nodded slightly. You turned shy just in a second, because he looked at you so hungrily that you felt how your heart beat got faster. He made me stand up from his lap and once again took my wrist. He sat down on his big coach and leaned back. For a little moment he just stared at you. Giving the name eye fucking a whole new meaning. “Joon..?” You started to wake him up from his little day dream. 

“How about princess, sits on my face?” 

You gulped. That was something you didn’t expect. Not at all. But you wanted to know how it feels... you also trusted joon. 

You quickly obeyed and pulled your skirt a bit higher, your underwear was not really needed so you made sure to just take it off. Joon just looked at you, still eye fucking you. He gave you all the time you needed. And that was one of the reasons why you loved him. 

You went to the coach and already saw from the corner of the eye that he was positioning himself so you could sit comfortably on his face. You were really anxious and didn’t want to ruin the moment but he just smiled at you, making you feel okay about this. You laid your legs on the bottom and positioned yourself over the low coach and made sure your core was just centimeters away from his mouth. He quickly started to explore your core and made sure to catch every single drop of your essence. He started slowly but his pace went crazier with every lick he took, until finally he just ate you out. You stopped holding back your moans and shouted his name several times. That made him just grab on your thighs tighter and he ate you happily out. “Fuck.. didn’t know you were such a slutty princess..” He responded, and licked layers of hot skin from your pussy. Slurping every drop that was escaping from your core. 

After this moment you were so relaxed that you could feel how your eyes felt weary. “Just sleep, princess. Now you can sleep.. fully relaxed..” He said, pecking your lips. As soon as the dominant joon came as soon he was gone.

He took his ryan pillow put it under your head, quickly took your underwear and made you wear it, and also pulled a comfy blanket from the sofa crack of the sofa. 

“Also thank you for that good meal..” He raised his eyebrows and went back to his computer. 

[oh-so-scenarios]

Tell me...Say It [4]

Word Count: 4.5K

Genre/Warning: Angst, **mentions of death, fluff, Yoongi x  Female Reader, CEO AU, Pianist AU

A/N: Please excuse the errors, there are quite a bit.

⇾ Updates on Sundays 

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♫

I sit in the leather couch that was set in the middle of our big living room. My eyes were trained on the 13-inch MacBook air that rested on my lap. I was focused enough to barely tune out Da-hee’s loud voice. Barely.

“Y/N! Why do I feel like you’re not listening?” She accuses. I sigh and look up at her from under my eyelashes. I look back down at my laptop screen, typing up the reply to an email from an old high school friend.

“It’s because I’m not listening.” I finally reply resuming my typing. I can’t help but smirk at the groan of irritation that leaves her lips.

“Y/n, seriously, that was so embarrassing!”

My brows furrow at her words, “What was embarrassing about it? And since when do you care about what Mina thinks?”

She shakes her head, “Not Mina! Yoongi! The guy that was sitting at the piano.”

I nod my head slowly feeling like I should have known better. Da-Hee was basically drooling when I dragged her out of the music school. Though the ride home was filled with her bursts of anger, she mumbled the man’s name to herself a few times.

Yoongi….Yoongi. Where have I seen him before? I stop my typing, anxiously searching my mind to match his face to another memory. I have totally seen him before. You don’t forget a handsome face like his.

I start typing again, only for an image to appear in my mind. I gasp out loud, my hand coming up to my mouth out at the realization.

“What?” Da-hee hisses, “Did the whole incident replay in your head? Do you finally understand how crazy you looked?”

“No,” I dismiss her statement, “I remember where I’ve seen that man, Yoongi, from.”

Da-hee demeanor changes. She raises her nose up at me and crosses her arms.

“You’ve met him before?” She seems curious for my answer, watching my reaction intently.

“Yes,” I almost laugh, “Remember that blind date you had me go to?”

Da-hee groans and throws her head back. She puts her hand on her face before running her fingers through her tangled and frizz bed hair. I was wondering why she woke up so early today. Was it just to yell about me about the incident from 3 days ago? She’s been doing it every day since, but must she start from the morning?

She stands in front of me in a long and large black tee shirt. The letters “FG” pasted on it in big white font. Her morning slippers on her feet while she stomped them around out of frustration.

“That was him?” She cries, “Really? Y/n don’t mess with me! I’m not in the mood this morning!”

I lean back at her words, “Yet you’re in the mood to bother me? I am not lying. It was him! I told you he was cute didn’t I?”

“Damn,” She mutters under breath, “I didn’t know he was that cute.”

I look away from her emotional break down to open a new tab in my internet browser. I decided to find some videos on youtube to watch. I’m thinking that Da-hee will make an overdramatic exit out of the room like always, but she remains in her spot.

“Y/n, we’re still discussing this.” She informs me.

“There is nothing to discuss. You don’t need me, you can still make costumes for their play. It has nothing to do with me.”

“But imagine if I told them I convinced you to work with them! That would put me in a good spot with Yoongi.”

I scoff at her argument, “You want me to do this so you can get a guy to like you? Why don’t you try winning him over with your personality? Or your looks like you usually do?” I raise an eyebrow at her.

Her argument isn’t strong at all, and the pestering she’s doing won’t help her case. Before she could speak anymore, I cut off her words.

“Da-hee, you already know I don’t play piano anymore. I don’t compose anymore, period. What made you think I would let them use my work, let alone work with them?”

“But you love music! You love the piano, and you’re amazing at playing. You have to start back up eventually.”

“Says who?” I snap harshly.

“So you’re never going to play the piano again?” Da-hee sounds surprised. Didn’t she know that was always the plan? What was she thinking?

“Yes,” I answer simply.

An exhausted sigh leaves her lips, “Y/n...everyone knows you were born to play the piano! You know that! Are you telling me you don’t miss it?”

“I’m telling you that I am not going to help with that play.” I corrected.

“Jeez, when will you move on?” She whispers to herself. I find myself slamming my laptop shut, glaring at her with wild eyes.

“My parents died, Da-hee. You don’t get to speak to me like that.” The words leave my mouth like they were poison. Da-hee stares back at me with sad eyes.

“I know that Y/n...but damn, you’re still living aren’t? Well...just barely living.” She turns around and stalks out the room, her slippers squeaking against the wooden floor. I am left alone with my thoughts and the silence.

It almost feels like the silence is a hard hit in the face after Da-hee’s words. Just barely living. Why is that statement causing such a heaviness in my chest? I stare blankly at the space that Da-hee once stood in. My mind moves back to my 16-year-old self, the painful memories forcing their way into my mind space.

“Y/n, are you ready?” Mina said as she smiled at me. Her hands rested on her pregnant belly and I couldn’t help but smile back nervously.

I stood backstage at the Piano Composing Championship. This was a big deal, or at least that’s what everyone says. All these competitions were nothing to me. As long as I got to plan my music, and have it meet people’s ears... I didn’t complain. I looked towards the grand stage where a young boy sat at the black grand piano.

He was younger than me, yet he played beautiful, his piece showing the freshness of being young. It was clear in the way his fingers bounced off the keys and dancing gracefully.

I exhaled and leaned forward enough to see the front row of the audience where two seats remained empty. I stared in disappointment, expecting to see my parents there.

I turned away from the stage to look at Mina. She looked back at me expectantly, “What’s up darling?”

I stretch my hand out, “Can I have my phone, please? I would like to call my parents.”

Without any protests, Mina hands me my phone after digging it out of her purse. She was holding it for me, seeing as my plain red dress had no pockets. I am thankful to my parents who always drive crazy distances for my performances.

After moving to South Korea because of my father’s military duties, I wasn’t expecting to meet Miss Mina who further helped me grow my piano skills. Since I was younger I showed an interest in music and instruments. My mother would often take me to the community center and let me play on the grand piano that sat in the lobby. It was decoration, however, no one ever complained when they saw a young me playing.

Once we got the news that we were moving to South Korea, my mother moved quickly to find my a teacher, which is how I met Miss Mina...it has been years now and we have come far. Here I am at the Championship of this huge competition. There are contestants from all over the world, of all ages and I am one of them.

Music has always been second nature for me. Since I can remember, I have always had music playing in my head. Whether I was doing school work, sleeping, or just sitting with my thoughts. I always had music playing in the background of my mind. Sometimes creating my own pieces in my head, waiting to write it down to play.

Is this why they were calling me a genius? I can’t be sure.

My parents were my number one fans, always doing their best to be at my performances and competitions. The championship was far from home, requiring quite a drive. Despite the snow falling outside, they promised to be at the championship. That’s why it’s odd to see their seats empty.

I dialed their numbers and waited as the phone rang and rang before going to voicemail.

“Hey dad, I’m going up next and I saw that you’re not here yet. It’s okay if you can’t make it. Miss Mina will record it! See you soon!”

That day was the last time I heard music in the background of my thoughts. After that day it’s like the lights cut off and the piano grew out of tune. The music that played in my head was sad, out of tune pieces that sounded of death and agony.

I never touched another piano. I had the grand piano bought for me and customized for me by my parents moved out of the house. I have no idea what happened to it and I don’t care. I won the championship, but what was the title and trophy worth at that point? The snow was too heavy, causing my parents to get into a car accident, leaving me alone in this world.

What is the point of music now? Stupid piano. Stupid competition. Stupid music teacher. Stupid me. Stupid, stupid, stupid me.

Mr. & Mrs. Kim didn’t let me be alone for long, opening their home to me without hesitation. I was no longer alone, surrounded by people who love and care about me.  The pain never fully goes away. I have my bad days, and I have my good days. The people around me always tell me that the music would come back. The lovely melodies what always circled my mind would return as things get better.

And have they? I don’t know because I’ve never tried to pursue music again.

I didn’t realize I was crying until I heard Mrs. Kim’s soft voice.

“Oh, Y/n.” She calls gently. I snap out of my trance, my gaze moving to meet her eyes. My tears blurred my vision so I couldn’t see her clearly, but the sad look in her eyes was apparent.

I force a smile on my eyes, quickly ducking my head to wipe my tears.

“Sorry.” I croak, “I just got lost in my thoughts.”

“Oh darling, don’t apologize.” She coos almost running towards me. She moves my laptop to the side and sits beside me. She hugs me my from the side while I lay my head on her shoulder sniffling.

“You haven’t had a moment like this in a while...is everything okay?” She asks after some heavy moments of silence.

“Yeah,” I say, “I was asked to help with the music for a musical.”

Mrs. Kim didn’t reply right away, she thinks for some time. She wants to approach this topic carefully.

“Okay...and how do you feel about that?”

I shrug, “I can’t do it.”

“Can’t or won’t?” When I don’t reply, Mrs. Kim sighs and continues to speak.

“Y/n, have you ever thought that the reason you still feel so...empty is because you never went back to music?”

“I don’t think that’s it…” I reply softly.

“Darling, I am worried about you. These days it’s like watching a lifeless being go about a routine. Work, eat, sleep and repeat. It’s concerning. Maybe getting that music back is what you need to do to complete your grieving.” She says honestly.

I can’t help but roll my eyes at her words. Mrs. Kim removes her hands from around me to put them up.

“I am just saying what I think,” She reminds me, “I think...I think this could be good. Don’t you?”

“No,” I answer plainly still sniffling.

Her shoulders fall in disappointment, “Well...I can’t force you, darling. I can only tell you what I think.”

“Thank you for the advice, Mrs. Kim.” I smile weakly, trying to prove myself in better condition.

“I’m always here Y/n, so If you ever need anything, tell me.” She places a hand on my head in an act of affection before standing up and walking out the living room.

I let myself fall back into the couch. This is how I am spending my day off? Sulking? Being sad for myself? If Mina had destroyed my work like I asked, this wouldn’t have happened.

I closed my eyes and eventually fall asleep.

Yoongi parks his car in the half-empty parking garage, before placing his hands on the steering wheel in frustration. He stares out at the parking garage contemplating his options. His fingers begin to drum his steering wheel as he works his nerves up.

“Yoongi.” The voice beside him snaps Yoongi out his train of thought. He groans and closes his eyes. The peace and silence he had only lasted for a moment.

He forgot that Taehyung sat beside him in his car. Taehyung unlike Yoongi, was ready to put the plan in action. Taehyung didn’t want to think about it too much or else he would second guess himself. He is the one who suggested such an idea, but they were becoming desperate.

It’s been 5 days since the incident at Mina’s music school. The sheet music has not been destroyed but has been moved to Yoongi’s office at the company building. It all remains in the cardboard box it was found in. He can’t throw it away, he can’t.

So here he is, sitting in the parking lot of the hospital Y/n works at.

After doing some research Yoongi was able to find videos of Y/n at competitions and performances. All he can say is...amazing. He couldn’t find any articles or information on her reason for stopping and he was curious about her.

Though she stormed in angry, her beauty didn’t go unnoticed. He had his mind wrapped around her and her music for the last few days. It didn’t take him very long to realize that the woman who walked into his blind date with scrubs on was Y/n.

He smiled to himself just thinking about how she strolled in with such a relaxed attitude. Scrubs, slip-resistant shoes, and a tired look on her face. She walked right in and apologized on behalf of Da-hee, clearly tired from a day of work.

Yet at that moment, he remembers thinking, what a beauty. A beautiful who creates such beautiful music. The creative block he has been in for the last few months is on the brink of a breakthrough but...he needs her to get past this. He just knows it.

That is why he agreed to Taehyung’s idiotic plan. Taehyung suggested just talking to her calmly while she is on break. Jimin told them that he usually takes his break the same time she does.

“Hyung, come on. Let’s just go, say our say and leave it.” Taehyung opens the car door and steps out before Yoongi can say anything. Yoongi turns off the engine following suit. He walks behind Taehyung, his hands in the pockets of his dress pants. He’s wearing the suit he entered the office with this morning.

They entered the hospital, and make their way to the floor Jimin told them Y/n is usually in. As they stand in the elevator Yoongi keeps his eyes on the floor.

“What do you think she’ll say?” Taehyung asks curiously.

Yoongi looks at his friend’s eager expression, “You want my honest opinion?”

Taehyung nods.

The doors of the elevator open and Yoongi pushes himself off the way he was leaning on.

“I think she’ll tell us to fuck off.” He states as he steps out the elevator. He didn’t see Taehyung’s downcast expression, but he was expecting just that. She seems very straight to the point. She won’t entertain something she won’t do. He can tell this just from their two interactions.

Yoongi walks up to the first desk he sees, Taehyung trailing behind him. He ignores the small gasp on the woman’s lips as her eyes twinkle at the two men’s appearance. The nurse smiles at Yoongi and bats her eyelashes.

“Hello sir, how may I help you?” She speaks softly. Yoongi’s eyes look around the hospital floor before answering.

“Is Y/n around?” Yoongi says looking at the nurse at the desk. Her brows furrow a bit.

“Y/n?” She repeats. She turns around to ask the other nurse where Y/n is but doesn’t get a chance.

“What about me?” Y/n calls out as she walks around the corner. Her feet halt when she lays eyes on Yoongi and Jimin.

“Ugh.” She groans and rolls her eyes, “Why are you two here?”

“Y/n, hi,” Yoongi says nervously. Taehyung seems to notice his friend’s slightly flustered state but decides not to speak just yet.

“We’re sorry to bother you...we just wanted to speak to you again, under calmer terms,” Yoongi explains.

Y/n looks at Taehyung who flashes her a small smile. She looks back at Yoongi, not hiding the way her eyes moved down to his feet and back up to him. The two men sit in that strained silence, ignoring the other doctors and nurses that buzzed around them.

Y/n huffs and turns around to head to the elevator. She doesn’t say a word as she steps in the elevator. She doesn’t say anything when the two men also stepping into the same elevator they just walked out of. The silver elevator doors begin to close and Y/n takes out her phone from the pocket of her scrub shirt.

Taehyung leans over to peak at her phone, “What are you doing?” Taehyung asked curiously.

Y/n keeps her eyes forward when she answers, “Getting ready to call the police once we step off this elevator.”

Yoongi almost laughs at her reply. She’s funny.

“Wait, Y/n! Let’s not be hasty! We’re not stalking you or anything, we just wanted to speak to you.” Taehyung explains.

“Yeah right. Let me guess, Dr. Park told you when I go on break? You’re lucky I don’t have my pepper spray on me.” She hisses at Taehyung. The elevator doors open to bring them to the first floor of the hospital.

“Where are you headed for lunch?” Yoongi asks, “I can give you a ride.”

“It’s just the sandwich shop across the street, there is no need.” Y/n denies his offer. Yoongi just nods, keeping up to walk beside her. Taehyung is walking on her other side, strolling like they’re two friends going for lunch. Y/n stays quiet all the way up to the door of the sandwich shop.

Taehyung opens the door for her and steps in not before uttering a little, “Thank you.”

She orders her food while the two men sit at a table near a window. She denied their offer to pay so while Y/n was ordering, they came up with a game plan.

“So we just tell her everything honestly. Tell her that we’ll pay her, she’ll be credited..or won’t if she doesn’t want to be. Just don’t ask her why she stopped playing.” Yoongi says to Taehyung. Taehyung nods, agreeing with the plan.

It’s not long before Y/n sits down with her sandwich but doesn’t make a move to eat. She leans back in her chair with an irked look on her face.

“Well, speak.”

“Oh-” Taehyung started, “So I want to start by saying, it was never our intention to use your music without asking. We found your music by mistake as well. Yoongi played it and it felt like my heart was soaring. The pieces were beautiful. So I am working on a musical, which if successful, could bring in a lot of money and help propel many careers.”

Y/n’s face didn’t change much. She sits and listens to Taehyung speaking.

“We don’t want to keep bothering Y/n, but we do want you to know that your music is beautiful. I want your music to be part of the musical. I actually want your music for the whole musical. Yoongi wants to work with you, and Jimin is eager to write lyrics. Our intentions are not ill, Y/n. We want to work with you and collaborate with you.” Taehyung wraps up his words.

Y/n looks over to Yoongi, “What do you have to say?”

“I agree with everything Taehyung said. I want to work with you to make this musical something great.”

“Mhh.” That is all that Y/n says.

“W-we are going to be at Mina’s Music school on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Please think about it Y/n?” Taehyung adds. Y/n doesn’t respond but lets the men know she is done with the conversation when she leans forward and grabs her sandwich to eat.

“Thank you so much for at least hearing us out,” Yoongi says as the men stand out of their chairs. Y/n nods, the irritated look on her face not changing at all.

Y/n sat in her car staring at the music school. The lights were on, but the parking lot was almost empty. There were one or two cars parked on the further end of the parking lot. She sits there staring at the building. She drove herself here, but she’s not sure why. She doesn’t think it was the words of the two men from 3 days ago.

Maybe it’s Mrs. Kim’s words from almost a week ago that brought her, but she knows that it couldn’t have been her own mind that brought her here. The three men, Yoongi, Jimin, and Taehyung weren’t present yet. She knew that because she doesn’t see Dr. Park’s fancy white Hyundai.

Her heart is beating against her rib cage and her nerves have her stomach twisting uncomfortably. Her shaky hands sat in her lap, while the cold of the outdoors began to leak into her car, seeing as she turned the engine off.

She opens the door and takes a step out. She closes the car door and slowly makes her way to the school. Deciding to come on her day off was the right choice. If she made her way here after work, she would convince her tired self to turn around.

Just like before, she strolls down the hallway passing many classrooms with grand pianos. She doesn’t make it to the room she stormed into last time because something stops her in her tracks. A cracked down that showed a preview of a room that doesn’t look used.

She stops walking, pushing the door wider to find something that was covered with a big grey sheet. The sun was setting and the few rays that shined through the opened window exposed the dust floating in the room. Also scared to step into the room, Y/n looks around the room.

Unlike the other practice rooms, there were no posters, no stands or even sheet music left behind. She steps closer into the room, realizing that it was a piano covered in a big grey sheet. She stops walking again, leaving her in the space between the door and the covered piano.

Y/n had thoughts of turning around, not knowing what led her to this room when a voice spoke causing her jump.

“Of course this is where you find yourself.”

Y/n spins around to find Mina leaning against the door frame. She has a small smile on her face, her bob pulled into a ponytail while her bangs rest on her forehead.

“I-I was just leaving.” Y/n defends ready to leave.

As if she didn’t hear Y/n, Mina continues to speak, “It’s almost like your soul knew where it was and led you here.”

Y/n’s brows furrow at her words, a bit confused by what she meant. She wordlessly walks into the room. Y/n steps out of her way, watching as she bends down, grabbing the bottom of the grey sheet.

She walks to the opposite side of the room, slowly uncovering the piano. Dust was flying in the air caused Y/n to cough a bit. Y/n was ready to complain when her eyes landed on the black 2000 Yamaha C-1 grand piano.

Her eyes widen and her body freezes. Mina watches as Y/n approached the familiar piano on shaky legs. At that moment Mina felt like she was looking at the 16-year old Y/n.

Y/n blinked back tears as she stood in front of the piano. Her piano...the piano her parents worked hard to buy her. So this is where it’s been. She reached out a shaky hand and slowly placed it on the fallboard. She slowly pulls up the fallboard revealing the white and black keys. She sits on the bench trying to collect her swarming thoughts.

Y/n slowly lets her fingers graze the keys, not pressing down to emit any noise. She looks up from the keys at the wooden music rack. Her eyes settle on the words professionally printed on the music rack.

To our lovely daughter, Y/n.

Y/n has her fingers touch the golden text, inhaling deeply as the huge weight that has been sitting on her chest all these years seems to disappear.

When she exhales it comes out as a choked sob, tears streaming down her face. Sobs begin to leave her lips, sounding throughout the room. She brings her hands to her chest and hunches over the piano letting the tears run down her cheeks and off the tip of her nose, dripping onto the keys.

Her whole body shook as she cried.

Mina who also has tears running down her cheeks slowly back out the room and begins closing the door just in time for the 3 men walking down the hallway to catch a glimpse of Y/n.

Mina closes the door, meeting the 3 pairs of curious eyes. Mina’s own face flushed with red eyes yet beaming with a big smile.

“Don’t worry about her,” She almost whispers, “She’ll be fine. Just leave her be.” With those words, she walks back down the hallway to her office.

Yoongi, Jimin, and Taehyung all stand out the door for a moment, the sound of sobs leaking through the dense wooden door. They don’t stand out there for long, heading towards their regular meet up room with Yoongi’s piano.

Y/n can’t be sure how long she sat there emptying out all these feelings. She can’t be sure where she has been keeping all this...hurt for so long but it felt like a purge of baggage.

Once her crying stopped, she leaned her head on the fallboard of the grand piano. Her eyes were closed as she worked on catching her breath. She was so exhausted, she debated falling asleep on the floor. She stayed in that position, now sitting in the dark because the sun had set and the lights weren’t turned on in the room.

As she sat there listening to her own breathing a beautiful melody began to fill her...ears? Y/n’s eyes snapped open. No, this music was not being played away and she definitely hadn’t heard this anywhere before.

She slowly sat up, staring at the dimly lit white keys of her piano. The moon gave enough light for her to barely make them out.

The music...the continuous melodies in her head.

It’s back.

[wroteasongabouther]

fratboy!harry - part 4

thank you all so freaking much for the feedback/love on fratboy!harry so far it’s really sweet... again, feel free to drop any questions, blurb ideas, etc into my ask box whenever!!!

fratboy!harry tag >> story page

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you say while watching James lean over and delete a few things from your notes. Of course you had gotten some things mixed up during a lecture earlier this week.

“To be honest, I didn’t quite get it at first either,” James states.

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” you say while tilting your chin up and pouting out your bottom lip.

“Maybe,” James admits, giving you that nice toothy grin again - but it was nothing like a pair of dimples. You shake your head slightly as you catch yourself comparing James to Harry.

Last night after you ate some good old ramen noodles and got set up at your desk, you nearly finished your whole assignment. Just leaving it to be revised by James today after class. As you were finishing up your work - around midnight - was when Harry texted you. Red flag for inappropriate time, anything after ten could pretty much be classified as a booty call - it was simple college logic. But nothing about Harry’s texts were really booty call related.

Sorry about the guys today, hope you got your assignment done without my smarts

It’s alright, my butt hurt from the couch by then anyways.. and I managed just fine, shocking I know

Sure you got quite the brain in ya, little bird, was only joking

Oh I know.. it’s late, I’m going to go to sleep now I think

Alright, goodnight y/n

Night H

Then you slept soundly, your dreams consumed by green eyes and strange tattoos. But now you weren’t looking into the eyes you dreamt of, instead you’re looking at James’ boring brown ones as he tried to flirt with you - again. He didn’t seem to get that you weren’t interested. James was still a nice guy though, so you kept smiling at his flirtatious comments and tried to get your work done.

“That’s it,” you smile while typing out the last bit of your assignment, “all done,” your smile turned to a grin as you realize you had managed to finish an entire assignment within like 12 hours.

“You’re doing a lot better then you give yourself credit for,” James says while gathering his own notes up from the messy table you two had taken over at a diner on campus.

“Well, you were helpful too,” you inject. James grins again, and just then you glance over his shoulder and see one of your good friends walking towards you - Thomas. Everything about his facial expression spoke clear of jealousy as he saw you sitting with another guy.

“Hey,” Thomas says as he stands beside the table.

“Hey what’s up?” You smile.

“Nothing really,” Thomas shrugs before tossing his backpack at the floor and sitting down beside you. You’re a little thrown off by him welcoming himself to sit, and when you look at James you see he is too. “Who’s this?” Thomas asks, picking up one of your left over fries and popping it into his mouth.

“James,” he introduces himself as you just look at your friend in utter shock. But more of a eyes narrowed and lips firm while staring at him.

“Oh, so not Harry,” Thomas chews with his mouth open while mentioning the other boy he was jealous over. Good old Thomas.

“Harry?” James questions, looking at you now.

“A friend,” you answer shortly and bring the straw of your coke to your lips.

“Anyways,” James clears his throat, “I was going to mention, there’s this party this weekend and I was wondering if you wanted to come-“

“Y/N doesn’t really party,” Thomas states, cutting James off nonchalantly. You roll your eyes and give Thomas a quick ‘thats enough’ look.

“I do,” you clarify, “sometimes,”

“Alright,” James trails off, looking between you and Thomas - clear just as confused you were. “Well, I’ll text you about it, it’s tomorrow so hopefully you can make it,” James smiles while standing from the table.

“Okay,” you nod, “thanks again for your help, and for lunch too,”

James grins before saying his goodbyes and walking out of the diner. The moment he’s out the front door you turn and smack Thomas on the arm. He flinched and gasps dramatically. You hit him again for good measure.

“What the hell?” Thomas exclaims.

“What was that about? It’s not like that with James,” you state.

“Oh whatever, the guy’s totally into you,”

“Doesn’t matter, I’m not into him,”

“So are you gunna go to that party?” Thomas questions, stealing another fry off your plate.

You shrug, “I don’t know, maybe,”

“Right,” Thomas mutters before finishing off the plate. He brushes off his hands and stands up from the table you had been at for quite a while now. “Wanna go look around the shops or something? I’m bored,”

“Fine,” you sigh and stand from the table as well. After getting all your things together, you follow Thomas out of the diner and out into the sunshine. “I swear it keeps getting hotter here,” you groan.

“It’s Arizona, what did you expect?” Thomas chuckles.

You bump into Thomas, causing him to nearly loosing his footing and fall on the sidewalk. Now that was funny, you laugh so hard you have to grab you stomach. Thomas had been a clumsy guy since you first met him here a college, literally tripping over some wires from a projector and dropping his things in front of the whole class. Then he took the seat next to you, and a friendship began. A year later and Thomas still was a good friend to you.

Thomas and you ended up inside the vintage shop. There was a mess of pretty much anything you could want. From old vinyls to shirts or even some old nick-nacks. You were laughing as Thomas held up a vinyl for Madonna, singing in a high pitched voice. Again you had to hold your stomach as he made you laugh so much.

“Thomas, stop,” you say between your laughter. He keeps on acting out as Madonna, so you step forward and take the vinyl from him, leaning into his body while you both laughed.

Thomas quits laughing as he looks over you, eyebrows pulled together at something. Or someone it seemed. You turn around and see Harry standing there with a brown paper bag in hand and a similar face that Thomas had. What were the odds…

“Harry, hey,” you breathe out while stepping away from Thomas.

His eyes stay glued to Thomas while you take in his appearance today. Same black jeans, a pair of brown boots and a grey tshirt. Not that it was any shock, but he looked hot.

“Hey,” he nods.

“Whatcha doing here?” You ask, genuinely intrigued for an answer.

“Just picked something up,” he responds while lifting up the paper bag. It must’ve been for someone else, cause you really couldn’t imagine Harry geeking out over this old vintage stuff. You notice his eyes are back on Thomas, narrowed for a second before his expression turns smug.

“Uh, Thomas this is Harry, Harry this is Thomas,” you introduce the two ridiculous young men.

“Nice to put a face to a voice,” Harry says, still as smug as ever.

“Yeah,” Thomas narrows his eyes.

“Anyways,” you draw out and put the Madonna album back down.

“I have to get going, I’ll see you ‘round,” Harry blurts out before turning away and walking right out the front door. You stand there a bit surprised, staring out the window as you watched him get into his car. What was up with him?

Thomas sighs and leans back against the wooden table the vinyls were stored in. You already know he has a million things to say. So you roll your eyes and look towards him.

“Didn’t think I’d be meeting both the boys in your life today,” Thomas says.

“Oh shut it,” you nudge him gently before looking through the vinyls again.

You didn’t correct him. Because it was the first week of your second year in college and somehow you had two boys you were thinking of already. One was smiley and kind while the other was smug and had your head spinning a million miles an hour. Last week you were ignoring boys existence and babbling on about how boys suck - this week you were more confused than ever.

“I think I’m going to buy that old Harley Davidson shirt back there,” you state, changing the topic while walking over where it hang. 

Once you’ve paid, you and Thomas leave the shop. You convince him to stop for a smoothie before asking what he wanted to do next. Movies at your dorm ended up being the plan, only because Thomas offered to order pizza. So you two pick up the pizza and get to your dorm.

Thomas launches himself onto your double bed, taking up one side while you grab your laptop and set down the pizza between you two. As some new Netflix show plays on your small MacBook screen you really realize how much you needed a tv in here. You’re munching on your second piece as your phone vibrates.

“Five bucks it’s Harry,” Thomas says before you pick up your phone. You roll your eyes at him and grab your phone.

“It’s James,” you state while having another bite of pizza.

“Ah shit, it was a 50/50 chance,” Thomas gives you a smirk while you narrow your eyes at him.

Hey, what’s up?

Hey! Just watching some Netflix wbu??

Bored, just making some dinner

Yum, whatcha making??

Pasta, it’s bulking season

You have to hold back from making a face. But as Thomas snorts beside you, you know you failed on doing so. You try to ignore how stupid James sounded and read his next text.

Think about that party?

Yeah, I’ll have to ask a friend if she wants to come with or not first..

Fair enough, more the merrier.

“Stop making that face,” Thomas says with food in his mouth.

“Stop talking with your mouth full,”

Thomas sticks his hands up before focusing back on the show. Your phone vibrates again in your phone, this time it’s a Snapchat notification - from Harry. Your lips tug just a little, you literally have to fight off your smile.

You open it quickly, not caring if it seemed weird, and look at the snap video he sent. It was in the kitchen of his frat house. Eddy has two cans of beer in hand, then suddenly he’s smashing one into his mouth and the crushing it in his hand as he drinks it - doing the same with the second one. There’s obviously quite a few other guys around as many guys cheer as Eddy throws down both cans and yells. Harry flips the camera and widens his eyes, you can’t help but chuckle at his expression.

You send back a selfie, brows pulled together and lips pursed out a bit. You caption it ‘what in the world?’ and add a sticker with the time on it - it was only 6:30 in the evening after all. Frat boys were weird. After you send the snap, you look up and see Thomas is watching you.

“What?” You question.

He shakes his head, “nothing, I’m not gunna say anything,” he says and looks back at the show again.

You narrow your eyes at Thomas and lean back on your headboard. Harry snaps you back a selfie, reading ‘frat things, don’t dare eddy anything he’ll do it’ you shake your head and smile. Instead of a selfie this time, you send one from the front facing camera. There’s your computer, the pizza, and Thomas’s back in the shot before you type out ‘noted, you guys are totally crazy’

Harry opened the snap. But he didn’t reply. He posted on his story ten minutes later too. You bite on your bottom lip and debate snapping him again. First his weirdness at the vintage shop and now this - damn, when did you get this desperate? You let out a small sigh and put your phone down.

“Do I need to beat anyone up?” Thomas asks, not looking away from the show as he takes another piece of pizza.

You lean forward and grab another piece as well, “no,” you mutter.

“Just,” Thomas pauses and looks back at you with a small smile, “just be careful, Y/N,”

You look at your friend and try to register what he’s saying. Thomas would always be jealous, wishing it was him you were blushing over. But you always thought he had it better than whatever guy you were talking to. He sat here in your bed, eating pizza, more often than any guy you ever spoke to before. Despite being put in the friend zone, Thomas was around a lot longer than any other guy.

You decided to just give him a smile and nod in return. Then you two go back to watching your small computer screen and eating pizza. Soon enough Jessica shows up and joins you two, wedging herself between you both. And that was how you ideally liked to spend your nights here at college, with your friends watching pointless tv and eating junk. It was a hell of a lot better than stressing over school or some stupid frat parties. Which, you’d probably be at tomorrow anyways.

[moonlitjiminn]

Neighbour | Jimin, You

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 

Father!Jimin AU with you as his daughter’s teacher. And in the beginning you didn’t know how important they would become to you

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

Ara sighed as she folded the newspaper shut. The 'wanted jobs' section was just as full as it was unachievable, at this point, a simple part time job would suffice. But she couldn't find anything attainable. Despite being a qualified teacher, she couldn't seem to find any places hiring, making her degree completely useless.

Her phone alarm rang and her eyes flickered over it, seeing that it was time for her to get to her part time job. Putting the paper on the table and placing her coffee mug in the sink, she tied her hair up in a ponytail and left for the café down the street.

"Morning Ara!" her friend, Grace, exclaimed when she entered.

"Hey," she waved at her and rushed over to put her bag in the breakroom.

"Are you sure you can work my afternoon shift?"

"Yeah, of course," she grinned, "If it means more cash my way."

"You're a lifesaver," she sighed.

"Don't worry about it," glancing at the door, "There's our first customer."

Ara ran around to behind the coffee machine before greeting the chef in the kitchen. Grace served the customer as she seemed to know him and she motioned to her to make a cappuccino and to ask the chef for an egg's benedict.

The day went pretty fast, serving customer after customer, she were getting tired of it but there was nothing she could do.

After her two shifts were over, she got to finally go home and jump onto her bed, closing her eyes. Life was tiring enough already, trying to make ends meet solely with her part time job, let alone trying to find a full time teacher's position so that she could finally pay back her numerous debts.

Like that, she slowly drifted to sleep, the soft rhythm of the cicadas outside mixed with the loud second hand from your antique clock overwhelming her.

But her eyes snapped open the next morning, to the brash noise of... a moving truck?

Heaving her body off the bed, she peeked through the curtain and looked across the road, seeing a large moving truck in front of the house. Sighing, she pulled the curtain shut and walked back to her kitchen, preparing herself some breakfast. No one ever really did move out or into her neighbourhood, but the house across from hers had been empty for quite some time, the previous owners having to move to another country for medical reasons (Ara remembered her explaining her surgery to her as she gave her a farewell pie) and not being able to sell it until, well now.

Not because it wasn't an amazing house, which it was, two stories with a huge backyard, it seemed quite modern, not the type to look expensive but you were sure it was. The reason it was unsellable was the area, the house fit for a normal family, however wasn't close to any schools, it was a deal breaker.

Ara ate her toast in silence, scrolling through the news on her phone. That's when she came across a post which caught her eye.

A Preschool and a Primary School opening in the area?

Clicking on it, she skimmed through excitedly.

Were they accepting applications?

Were they accepting applications?

Were they accepting applications?

Yes!

Clicking on apply, she read through the criteria before jumping to her laptop to find her resume, and tweak it a little bit to make her sound like she was the perfect candidate for this job.

That was why she went to work that afternoon in such a happy mood.

"Woah, Ara, what's gotten into you?" Grace asked, seeing as she literally skipped through the café and hummed at the cash register.

"Did you know that there's a couple of schools opening in our area?" she asked her, a smile of optimism gracing her features. And hopefully they will hire me.

"Yeah, it's a few blocks down, didn't you know?"

"Nope," she shook her head and turned to the customer at the bench, "Good afternoon, what would you like today?" when she was in customer service, she had learnt how to put on a fake smile and pretend to be excited to see every single person in there, but this time she wasn't faking. She had hope for the first time in a long while, and she wasn't shy of showing it.

The lady in front of her grinned and told her the order and her name and paid, before she got to work on making her cappuccino.

"So, are you going to apply?" Grace asked once she had finished serving the lady.

"Yeah! I really do hope they accept me, it's exactly what I've been waiting for, my degree can finally come to use."

She laughed, "You know, Ara, I really look up to you, you keep trying even though you've failed so many times."

"Geez, thanks," she deadpanned, rolling her eyes, "What else am I meant to do? Just work this café job for the rest of my life and barely get by? There's nothing else to do but keep trying."

Ara winked at her and she smiled, before looking over her shoulder and widening her eyes. She assumed she meant you had another customer to tend to so you turned around, finding her own eyes widening at the sight.

Ara had been working at that café for over five years (it was her high school part time job and she just couldn't risk stopping the cash flow, in case she ended up not getting a job – which obviously was a good idea) and although she hated it, it was hard not to get attached to, and she had built an argument that café boys were always the best looking. She was used to it, pretty boy after pretty boy, but this was new.

The man in front of her was strikingly handsome, his eyes warm brown as he looked up at the menu above her, golden flakes were dancing around them, reflected from the sunlight. His hair was sporting a middle parting, the luscious brown locks falling effortlessly on either side and curling in just the right places. He had on a baggy white button up shirt and she couldn't help but ask herself how could someone have such an amazing figure? He looked unlike any other man she had ever seen before and in the best possible way. His eyebrows were furrowed as he scanned the lunch options. Nothing could make her heart beat faster.

But she was wrong, because when he lowered his eyes from the digital screen and looked right at her, she felt her legs about to give way.

Ara was trying her hardest to give him her normal café greeting, but nothing was coming out of her mouth. He didn't seem to see her struggle, however, as he just smiled (which literally made the whole room light up, she was sure of it) and started telling her his order. She nodded, writing everything down in the machine, making sure not to make any mistakes.

"That'll be ten dollars and fifty cents," she told him and when he pulled out a card, she passed the machine across the table together with the buzzer. Walking over to the barista machine, she realised she had forgotten to get his name to write on the cup, but he had already walked off.

She told the chef to make his omelette and served his Mochaccino in the meantime.

"Thank you," he sat up in his chair, sliding aside his MacBook for Ara to place the coffee down. She managed a smile and bowed before taking her place behind the cash register again.

This was a good day for sure.

--

That night, just before it was getting dark, there was a knock at Ara's door.

She raised an eyebrow, she hadn't invited anyone over and it's not like she was friends with anyone who would have spontaneous visits to her house.

Slowly opening the door, she found yourself staring at a complete stranger, about her age. She was about to tell them that you weren't interested in whatever they were selling and close the door but when she looked down, she saw a little girl smiling up at her. A smile that made her heart melt.

"Hello!" she chirped, making Ara smile yourself.

"Hi!" was her love for children showing yet?

"My name is Eunji and I just moved in the house across the road!" she turned and pointed at the house, "I am just coming around to say hi! And see if I can make friends!"

The girl behind her whispered, "She's just looking for people to play with at this point, I swear."

Ara laughed, "Well hello Eunji," she crouched down, "My name is Ara, and we can be friends."

She smiled, "Oh! And this is for you!" she held up a small cake.

"Really?" she nodded, "Wow thank you so much Eunji!" she ruffled her hair and stood up, facing the other person, who she assumed to be her mother, "Thank you."

"That's fine, we'll see you around then."

"Bye Ara!" Eunji waved and Ara waved back.

"By Eunji!"

--

"Thank you so much for looking after her," Jimin's voice was rushed as he came in through the door, hanging his coat on the rack.

"It's fine, you know thank yous between us are unnecessary," Min Hee smiled and picked up her keys before giving him a hug, "I'll see you okay?"

He nodded and walked into his bedroom, seeing Eunji sitting on the bed, reading a children's book. A tired smile appeared on his face as he dawdled to her. When she heard him, however, she whipped her head around, jumping off the bed and running to him.

"Omph," he let out when her body crashed into hers, "Hey baby."

"Daddy!" she squealed in his arms, "You're so late today."

He frowned, pulling back from her and brushing her hair out of his eyes, "I know, I'm sorry sweetie, daddy just got held up at work for a little longer than normal."

"That's okay!" she piped, "You're here now!"

"I am," he grinned, literally feeding off her energy at the moment. "What did you do today?"

"We went and introduced ourselves to everyone!"

"Did you?" he pinched her cheek and she nodded, "Did you make any friends?"

"Yeah! There's a boy two houses down called Minho and he wanted to be my friend! And Ara across the road too! She said she can be my friend too!"

"That's good," he scrunched his nose at her, "Should we get you some dinner?"

--

Ara was pacing up and down her living room, biting down on her fingernails as she anticipated an email. The school had notified her that the acceptance emails were being sent out today and she couldn't focus on anything until she got that email.

That's when she heard it.

The faint ding of her phone, however quiet, still sounded so loud in the silent room.

Rushing to her phone, she opened the email to read it.

Did they accept me?

Did they accept me?

Did they accept me?

Her excitement dropped as she read the first line.

Dear Ara we thank you for applying for a position at our Primary School, however we are sorry to inform you that we feel you do not have the experience necessary for this position...

Biting her lip, she squeezed your eyes shut.

Of course.

Of course they wanted experience, and she didn't have any of that. She closed the email straight away, not wanting to read anymore.

She was rejected, what more did they need to say?

The whole day turned into gloom as she entered the café, Grace frowned as she saw her expression.

"Ara, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she sighed, putting her stuff down and walking behind the bench.

"It's about that job, isn't it? You said they were emailing today."

Ara nodded.

"You didn't get it?"

She nodded again.

"Lemme see," she held her hand out and she shook her head.

"I don't need you to rub it in again."

"Just show me the email," her voice was demanding and Ara caved, passing her the phone.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, scanning the screen. "They didn't reject you?"

"Huh?"

"Did you even read more than the first line?"

"Huh?"

"It says that you don't have enough experience for the Primary School but they'd like you to earn that experience at their Preschool, and you call that a rejection?"

"Huh?" her eyes widened, "What?"

"You didn't even read the full thing and here you are, moping around everywhere."

Snatching the phone from her hand, a huge smile spread across Ara's face when she realised she was right.

They did want to hire me.

"Customer," Grace hissed and she put the phone back into her pocket, putting on a smile before turning around. And almost dropping the pen she were holding.

It was him again.

He was sending her such a warm smile as he waited for her and she couldn't help but ball her fists in an attempt to keep her sane.

"Mochaccino and Bacon Omelette?" she asked before even realising she had just told him she remembered his last order from three weeks ago and she looked back up at him in horror.

His smile just broadened, so much that his eyes turned into upside down crescents and numerous laugh lines were protruding from around them, making Ara's heart do summersaults.

"Yep," he continued to grin and swipe his card, "Thank you Ara," he said before turning and walking to the booth he sat in last time.

How did he know my name?

Ara was left in a trance, but that was before someone whacked her butt and she turned around.

"Do his order and then daydream, you egg," Grace hissed and she nodded, "Also, Ara, your name is literally on your badge, he didn't go stalking you or anything."

She looked down and realised how much of an idiot she must have seemed to be, because, yeah, there it was. Ara. Large and clear.

--

The first day at Ara's new school was already here and she remembered to get there on time. She had been interviewed by the principal and had already met all the teachers but this was her first time actually working with the kids. It was a new school but it had been running already for a month before she started, so it wasn't like anyone else was new. It was just Ara.

She welcomed all the children, they hung their bags before talking to her and introducing themselves. They were all so kind (except for a few who were more interested in playing games than talking to her – which was perfectly fine) and she found yourself starting to love the place already.

"Ara?" a familiar voice said and she looked up to see Eunji at the door. "Ara!"

Her face lit up, "Hey Eunji!"

She ran up to Ara and enveloped her in a hug, "I didn't know you came here too!"

"It's only my first day, sweetie, I didn't know you came here too!"

She giggled.

"Where's your bag?" she asked, looking over her shoulder to see nothing there.

"Daddy's bringing it," she told her, jumping in her spot.

She grinned, "You're giving your dad all the work."

She giggled again, something which Ara found was one of the cutest sounds she had ever heard.

"Eunji, did you bring a jacket?" someone's voice grew louder and Ara looked up to see a masculine figure walking in carrying a bright pink bag.

She stood up to be on eye level with him, only when she did that, however, her eyes widened.

"Ara?"

"Daddy, you know her?" Eunji chirped from under her and she found herself blinking repeatedly.

Dad?

His shocked expression softened and his smile returned, the smile she loved because it showed his laugh lines.

"You were a teacher too?"

"I-I only just started working here, today's my first day."

He nodded, "Was going to say, haven't seen you around here before."

She grinned, knowing her smile couldn't rival his in any way.

Eunji tugged at her bag, eager to put it away so she could go and play and this made him laugh, crouching down to be at eye level with her.

"Did you bring a jacket?" she nodded, opening her bag and showing him.

"Good girl," she took the bag from him and started walking to the cloak room but he stopped her. "Kiss?" he asked, turning his head to the side for her and she happily obliged, placing a quick kiss on his cheek and then running away.

Ara watched in adoration, loving the way he treated the little girl.

He stood up, "I feel like an introduction is in order, seeing as this is our third time meeting." He held his hand out, "I'm Jimin."

[thedappleddragon]

last night I dreamed that I was an archeologist tortoise and I was looking at dozens of “human” skeletons in Buckingham palace that was also my backyard. the skeletons all looked like combo human and turtle because the whole torso looked basically like the first google image result for sea turtle skeleton. then my sister woke me up, giving me a comforter and telling me my mom need help with some things.  cleaned up around the living room and did some laundry and boiled some eggs and made meatloaf and swept the floor. the meatloaf turned out surprisingly good, idk what I did differently. I evemtually went back to my room and tried to remember what I wanted to do today. last night as I was falling asleep I told myself that I was gonna clear off my desk so I could finally use it, so I moved some stuff around and set up my laptop. I havent been able to sit at a real actual desk in SO LONG and its SO NICE to have just like a space where I can sit down and work and have a chair that will support my back instead of sitting cross legged on my bed or laying down while doing stuff on my laptop. it almost makes me feel productive even I'm just playing the sims. I feel especially cool when im just typing out whatever bullshit because it makes me feel like im at an office job typing up ~important documents~ :) idk man I think quarantine has changed me lmao. if im getting this many emotions from just being able to sit down at a desk and do ANYTHING idk how im gonna handle collage. I keep calling whetever im doing (playing the sims, scrolling through Tumblr, typing up this summary of the day) work because it just. feels nice sitting at a desk and typing. even if it’s dumb bullshit!! idk how to describe it I just feel amazing. it makes me feel like im writing a paper with all the horrible parts like research and thinking. the sound of typing on my MacBook makes me feel like im in school again, but without the horrible stressful parts. idk mn I know I've been going on about this desk and stuff for too long and im gonna hate it if I eventually read back through these daily logs but I just feel so nice. ill change topics anyway. I hung up my calendar again! I literally didn't have any open wall space aside from maybe the wall behind my bed but why the hell would I put a calendar where I can't see it. instead its kind of hanging above my closet. I pinned it to the wooden board in the “doorway” (idk what other word to use) where there would normally be sliding doors that open and shut if they hadn't been taken off YEARS ago. I also played a lot of the sims 4, juggling aspirations for 5 sims. I quit because I got frustrated that all my sims are dumb and the ai Is buggy and doesn't let me do what I want them to do. I also plopped in a house on my family’s old lot and spent some time adjusting the colors and the trees and adding those paper craft cieling things that can either have stars or leaves or snowflakes that came in the free winter holiday stuff pack and holy shit as soon as I found those I think they became my new favorite decoration item. I threw them everywhere but eventually took down most of them, leaving some leaf ones in the bedroom. I was gonna move in a family of a bunch of young adults and children to help with the first kid’s serial romantic aspiration and one of the twin’s social butterfly aspiration, but I ended up not doing that in favor of just decorating more and playing with the family some more. one thing I realized while playing is that there are fucking MICE in my CIELING. well not really in the cieling, in the attic, but I can hear them chewing on shit and its sucks. I would turn on a fan to drown out the noise but my room is fucking FREEZING. I threw the blanket back over my window hoping that it would keep heat from escaping but I don't think that really did anything. so after freezing my ass off I got fed up and put on fluffy socks under normal socks, wore my owl onesie as pants over my shorts, put on my comfy (oversized hoodie), and threw a fluffy blanket over my shoulders. thankfully I was pretty cozy after that, but as I type this after taking off the cosy and blanket, I can feel my toes getting cold again. damnit. ANYWAY after quitting the sims for the night I ate some salad and got a heart shaped crouton :) and I scrolled through Tumblr for a bit. then I decided to finally work on the paws my friend wanted. but I couldn't find the pattern so I instead worked on the brown paws instead. I could only work on them so much, since I still have to finish the lining before I can do much else. I attached the backs of the fingers to the back of the hand. I didnt get much down but what matters is that I did SOMETHING. I'm gonna keep an eye out for that pattern that I need, and if I cant find it, I'll just make a new pattern. tbh I think thad’s be the better way to go anyway since I wouldn't have to figure out how the fuck the old one goes together and I can also have a pattern that perfectly fits the foam underneath. also tbh i have mixed feeling about the white paws my friend wants. I like how dextrous they are and how easily you can emote and move your fingers, but I dont like how ovular I made the paw pads and the hints of black thread peaking out where I sewed the pads from the back. I WOULD just remake them with the free curl works pattern im using for the brown paws but I figure I might as well finish this pair since there’s already one done and the foam interior is already made. whatever. I dont wanna think about it too much. I also dont like the head that goes with the paws, it was a fish job in comparison to my first head and I kinda hate it. but I think I'll eventually get some longer fur for the neck and a hair poof and cheeks (maybe) and do a little refurbishing and give it to my friend if she ever wants it, since it matches the paws and all. I have lots of plans for my 2 WIP heads but not all the materials/motivation. plus I just need to let the ideas stir before I do unything, making sure they’re goof before I act on them. I'm exited that I can shave down fur relativey easily and evenly without an electric dog shaver, which opens up a lot of opportunities. anyway as I was working on the brown paws I had TAZ on in the background and it still baffles me a little bit how different griffin and Matt mercer operate as dms like holy shit. its really funny. and it got me thinking about how I wouldn't mind dming for my friend group if he chance ever arose. I DO have the forgotten realms campaign setting book. I haven't actually looked at it but I assume it has a few pre-built quests and plot lines n stuff in it. I'll probably take a better look at in the morning when it’s not 1:40 am. dang now I'm thinking about my Minecraft dnd idea again. I think the real problem keeping me from being a dm is that I CANNOT keep a straight face when doing improv/roleplaying, so I dont know how well I could hold together a world for them to play in. I would love to give it a try tho. not with the Minecraft idea at the same time, fuck no. I would need to do like. a classic vanilla dnd experience the first time, maybe even using our tiefling family characters since I'm at least a little familiar with them. can you dm and also play your own character? is that fair? is that a think you can do? I think that could be fun but also hard to juggle and also maybe kinda suck because you’d already know all the answers to all the puzzles. meh. actually now I kind of really want to look through thet book tonight instead of in the morning. also I mentioned overnight oats a few days ago I think, and the first morning it was kinda gross, the second time I ate it was still a little gross texture wise, but I finished it off tonight and it was pretty good. maybe next time I'll try it without the banana and a little less milk and maybe slice up an apple into little cubes for texture. hell yeah peanut butter apple cinnamon brown sugar overnight oats. that sound pretty dang good actually. I'll try that some time, but I dont think I can right now because I dont think we have any apples in the house. phooey. I should also probably put this oatmeal cp in the sink before it becomes impossible to clean. holy shit how long have I been writing? SEE THE DESK MAKES ME JUST WANNA KEEP WRITING AND WRITING FOREVER I FEEL SO PRODUCTIVE EVEN IF IM NOT DOING ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE!! I love just typing and typing forever its so soothing just hearing the tapping of the keyboard and getting my thought out without actually having to think that hard about it. goddamn im never gonna read back through this this is a nightmare lmao. no paragraph breaks no capitalization no nothin. I dont even wanna stop typing even though my arm is starting to hurt a little but from leaning the edge of the desk. now im thinking about the movie soul again and the cat as it rides on the escalator to the great beyond and how that dude in the band was the main characters student and how that scene with the girl trying to quit music and then immediately changed her mind didnt make any sense. like what the hell I dont understand that scene at all. also thinking about the transition where he’s like “ok repeat after me” as he’s in the cat and the camera goes over the mom’s shoulder and it’s just him talking, I like how they did that instead of doing dialouge between him and the cat. idk man. I think maybe I should stop typing now since my body is starting to hurt. sorry for putting this H U G E wall of text on your dash but I just like typing out my thoughts :) goodnight!

edit: OH I forgot to talk about something else!! last night I was thinking about valentines day and how cute it would be to have a little overall dress in the pattern on one of my childhood blankets, its like a light pink with white hearts on it so I looked up some fabrics and none of them were the right pattern. I also looked up a sewing pattern that I think would look nice and its on sale right now! I totally want to try and make it, but fabric is expensive so I think I might look at dollar tree for fleece baby blankets because I know they have them there, I bought a few a while ago for some plush sewing projects. they’re decently sized so I think I could do it.idk how many I would need to buy tho. or I might go to goodwill and look for a pink sheet? I have a thin pink blanket that could theoretically work but I want to use a planet im not attached to. or even just find a few big shirts in the same shade of pink? then I could maybe line it with something. I have red purple and white satin but that’s literally the worst fuckin fabric in the world to work with. my first experience with sewing was trying to make plushies out of satin and holy hell idk how I did it. anyway even though I literally never wear dresses I think it would be a fun project to try and make myself a cute little valentines dress. :) I could even give myself POCKETS >:)))

[writingbiddy]

My room was pretty big, so space wasn't an issue; where to put Nick was. I settled to let him sleep beside the wall perpendicular to mine. The first night was tough. Every hour, Nick kept waking up. After awhile, I just decided to stay up the whole night and bear it. Finally, after the fifth or sixth time, I grabbed nick out of his crib and held him. Having your boyfriend being altered to a young toddler was hard work. Thankfully, he still has his memory. The downfall is he can't talk like when he wasn't like this, he can only talk according to his age, which he was about 23 months old, and Ally said would most likely happen due to the alteration. When he returns back eventually, everything will go back to normal. The only thing is, we don't know how long this will really last. Ally and Abby said about 6-8 weeks. And I got volunteered to take care of him in this duration of time. Nick really needed to get some sleep or else tomorrow would not be pleasant for either of us. He started crying again. I rub his back and gently rock him in my arms. It helped a little and after a while, he finally calmed down. I was relieved but as soon as I put him back in his crib, he started acting up again. I picked him back up and laid him on my bed as I ran downstairs to get him some milk. When I got back upstairs, I could see nick walking around upstairs still slightly crying. He was looking for something but I don't know what. Nick saw me and half ran towards me. I smiled and herded him back to my room. Back in my room, I turned on my lamp and set the milk on the night stand. I picked Nick up and wiped the tears from his face I gave him a sippy cup of milk. He drank it quickly and yawned. Yes, he's finally getting sleepy. I rub his back and he falls asleep quickly. I hold him in my arms for a little while and I fall asleep shortly after him. Nick woke me up the next morning, in a way I didn't expect. Here I am, sleeping away, then all of a sudden the tv turns on. My eyes shot open and I see Nick sitting on the floor with the remote. How did he even find it? I thought I lost it months ago. Any way, I get up out of bed and stood behind Nick who apparently didn't notice I was up. I swiftly took the remote from him and turned off the tv. That got his attention. He looked up at me and smiled guiltily. I picked him up and ruffled his hair. "you ready for breakfast mister?" I ask him. He nodded and pointed towards my bedroom door, which I assumed it meant leave the room. I got down to the kitchen and noticed a note on the fridge; it was from my parents and said that they had to go in early per request of Gibbs and that we didn't have to go in today. It also said that Ally and her sister Mikayla were to be over by 10:30. The McGee household is very punctual about time, which means they always arrive a minimum 15 minutes early and a maximum of a half hour early. I look at the clock and it was a quarter after ten. They are gonna be here any minu- *DING DONG* goes the door bell chimes. I let out a groan and shifted Nick to my other side. He sleepily adjusted himself and laid his head on my shoulder. I made my way to the front door to greet Ally and Mikayla only to realize that I look like a total wreck. I'm in an old T-shirt and some sweatpants, uncombed hair in a messy pony tail, and I have barely gotten five hours of sleep within the past 72 hours. I open the door to see Ally not looking her best, but still a hell of a lot better than me. Mikayla look her usual self and had a travel tray of Starbucks coffee. Ally had a bag of breakfast goodies from there as well. "Well don't you look well rested." Ally greeted. "I can say the same to you," I retorted back. "So is it safe to say that you were up all night as well?" "Actually I went home the same time you did. But I was still doing some miscellaneous report for our previous case when I got home and didn't go to bed until about 1 and woke up at 9. You?" Ally asks me as we all make our way to the keeping room. "I'll just say I got a few hours of sleep less than you within the past 3 days." "Ouch. Well we brought you guys breakfast since we figured you haven't eaten yet" Mikayla added. "Yeah I woke up literally 8 minutes before you showed up. Nick woke me up by finding my remote an turning on the TV." I sighed. "He escaped out of the crib?" Ally asked. "No, he slept with me. Everytime put him in the crib, he would awaken and start acting up. After about the 6th time, I just let him sleep with me." "That sound like it could be an issue. Where is his crib located?" "Adjacent to my bed." "Oh dear. Did he sleep right next to you or on top?" "Right next to me but holding onto my arm the whole night." "Does he have a stuffed animal or anything of the like?" "No... It's just that I didn't have time to get one or anything like that last night before I got home. I'm just glad evidence locker had some of the basics that I could skin by with for the first night. I'm starting to get low on diapers now." "FIELD TRIP" Mikayla screeched so loudly, the glass could've cracked. Nick was so quiet, almost asleep again, and then he burst into tears from the sudden loudness. I scooped him up from the couch and rocked back and forth while rubbing his back. He calmed down a few minutes later, and things were back to normal. "So what did you guys bring from Starbucks?" I asked as I sat back down with Nick in my arms. "What didn't we bring," Ally replied "we got an assortment of things since we were unsure if this would be breakfast or a mid morning snack. I figured the best thing to get for Nick was oatmeal considering that's what most toddlers around his age would eat for breakfast. And I know you like the scones there so I got you one of each since I couldn't decide which one you liked best. And if you get hungry later, we also got you guys one each of their bagels and assorted pound and coffee cakes. I got you your usual iced chai tea and Nick whatever juice they had. I think it's apple. Mikayla and I already ate this morning." "You guys really didn't have to do this." I said as I rummaged through the bag of breakfast goodies. "We figured this is the least we can do for you, considering your current predicament." Ally said. "Yeah, I'm glad we got today off and the weekend to prioritize ourselves, you needed this break more than we do." Mikayla chimed in. As Ally filled me in with Nick's temporary alteration and the latest school gossip, I filled my stomach up with scones and my iced chai tea. I fed Nick some oatmeal and soon after he finished, we all went up to my room so I could get Nick and myself ready. Ally surfed the web on my MacBook and Kayla watched TV. I tried to leave Nick with Ally so I could get ready but he kept acting up. He ended up sitting at my feet playing on my phone while I straightened my hair and put on light makeup. Since it was early fall, I decided to wear a Vineyard Vines sea foam green gingham Oxford, dark skinny jeans, and Tory flats. This is my go-to, minimal effort but still classy outfit on days like that. I complete the look with giant pearl earrings in the first ear piercing and smaller ones in the second, my silver monogram necklace, and a monogram ring Nick got me for my birthday. The next task was bathing Nick and getting him ready. As I start to run the water, nick starts to whimper. I pick him up and bounce him in my arms. As soon as I set him back down, he runs out of the bathroom and out of my room. "hey, keep an eye on him." Ally said nonchalantly with her eyes still glued to the screen. I walk past her and closed the MacBook shut as I walked out. "You could have caught him before he left my room." I shot back at her. I can hear Nick in the bonus room standing in the middle of it looking around. I sneak up behind him, grab him and take him back to my bathroom. I turn off the water and undress him then put him in the tub. He didn't look to happy about getting a bath. Nick said "phone" several times and made grabbing motions to the bathroom counter, which is where I placed it. "Not now Nick, the quicker I can get you ready, the sooner you can play on my phone." I say as I finish washing him up. After struggling to get nick dressed, the both of is were finally ready to leave.

[paniccord-ff]

50.

Looking down at my watch “look at this nigga, he be staring at his watch now” Fresh said hitting my arm, looking up at him laughing “well, you know how it be. I ain’t single to be out so late anymore” the whole room fell into a fit of laughter, I felt like shit because why are they laughing at me “that’s what husbands do right?” I shrugged “I don’t know” sitting down on the chair “just because you married don’t mean you need to be home all the damn time, we all have bitches. We got bitches here” pointing at Sinko “hey, these are y’all bitches. Not mine” I just need to point that out “but we here, why you gotta be awakard and look at your watch all the damn time. You always home, you came back what, a week ago? You been coming out for two days now, I am sure she will be fine” licking my lips sitting back in my chair “y’all missing me and shit, it’s ok. I know, I am sure y’all are struggling for a home” I chuckled saying “hey, fuck you” Fresh spat, I had to add that. I just only started coming back in the studio and I am backed up on features, I am not having to make an album. I got orders from the big boss himself, not my manager but above him. I just don’t understand why they want an album, they don’t want me to go ghost. I have to be doing something, then again when single Chris was thinking he just wanted to go on tour and make albums, I regret the decisions single Chris made.

Rubbing my eyes, I think I have caught up on the features “can you send that off to Tank, I will contact him myself” smoking some more of my blunt “then after that, we can start on my album” blowing the smoke out. It’s three in the morning, I really don’t think it’s good that I am starting an album “Chris, my man!” looking at the door seeing Diddy “I thought I heard you here, what’s good?” walking around the seats “you good?” dapping him “I am fine, how was the wedding? Congratulations, she is fine homie. You chose well” busting out laughing “you know me, never was going to settle with a hoe” Diddy made his way into the studio “you think you can help me out with some songs while you here?” I was deciding to go home “uh yeah, for sure. You got the beats?” I can get this done tonight “hey Cassie” hugging Cassie “congratulations on being married now, it looks good on you” I didn’t think there was a difference “is that a good thing?” I questioned “you look well, happy” letting out on oh, I am happy.

The sun is rising, my eyes half hooded. I am done, I am ready to sleep now. The lights turned green, pressing down on the acceleration lightly but even with that the Lamborghini sped off. If I didn’t have this music on loud I would be falling asleep, I got the munchies actually but I will leave that. My stomach is full of Hennessey, turning off onto the side street. People are waking up for work and I am here ready to go to sleep, speeding up the hill. The neighbours hate me but they are barely neighbours, we live on the same street and hood but that is it. I think I am way more good then I was before I met Rylee, they should be happy. Stopping outside the gate, patting down my pockets. I have the remote for the gate somewhere, lifting up my MacBook seeing the remote under there luckily. I would have rather slept in the car then ask Rylee because she would be so angry, the time too. I have been out all day and night now but I kept in contact with her.

“Chris! Christopher!” feeling a slap on the back of my head “huh” lifting my head up a little, my head falling back onto the pillow “seriously? Chris, wake that ass up” scrunching my face up “what?” I spat groggily “Royalty, Day care. You said you are taking her so get up, it’s her first day Chris” I ain’t doing that, I can’t even be bothered. I am going back to sleep, getting comfortable again “so you’re just going to sleep again” yanking the covers over my head, I am not going to deal with that. Silence finally, I can drift off back to sleep. Feeling the bed shifting, my eyes are so damn heavy. My body relaxing falling back to sleep gradually “Chris you need to wake up, I am not playing with you. You need to take Royalty to Day Care, I have an event to go too and a meeting and you knew this but you wanted to be out” I can’t even deal with this.

I am dying, my eyes are burning and my throat hurts, Rylee won’t drop it and I can’t change dates. She is just punishing me for no reason, I am not in the mood to be with stupid little kids. Clipping my watch on my wrist, grabbing onto my snapchat from the side table. I feel so bad, I feel like death and that is no lie. Makin my way down the stairs “daddy wake” side eyeing the fact I am awake “I don’t understand why you cannot change dates, it is not hard to do” placing my snapchat on my head “you’re right it’s not but we said today, you knew this. You want some food or not?” shaking my head “good, dress Royalty for me” I have just sat down, is she really making me do this “I can’t, I have a headache” looking over at Royalty, she is a mess “you don’t want daddy to dress you, do you?” she shook her head “mommy do it” smiling at my daughter, she is a good girl “I guess this is on you” getting up from the chair, I can have a nap on the couch.

“Daddy! Daddy!! Wake up!” feeling a little hand slap my leg “huh” opening my eyes seeing Royalty all dressed, closing my eyes again “say no, say you don’t want to go. Let me sleep please” hearing a laugh come from Rylee “just get up, I am leaving too” opening my eyes, let me actually get up. Royalty is still stood staring at me smiling “what is it?” shuffling off the couch, rubbing my eye “she wants you to tell her how she looks Chris, look at her backpack. Come on” letting out an oh, looking at my daughter “you wearing Black Pyramid, oh baby you look so beautiful” she twirled around “oh my god, is that princess backpack? Oh wow! I am jealous” Royalty giggled running to me, wrapping my arms around her “you look pretty baby, I am sorry. I am moody right now” I didn’t know I have to compliment both Rylee and Royalty now.

Pulling my top down, walking towards Rylee. She stared at me waiting for me to say something but I crouched down “I ain’t finna say bye to your mom, she been on my case for no reason. I am just trying to sleep Peanut but your mom is doing the most. I am saying bye to you though, I’ll speak to you soon, I will tell you everything that happened yesterday. I won’t tell your momma just you, I love you son” touching Rylee’ stomach “rest up in there” getting up from my position “wow” Rylee said all wide eyed, Royalty touched Rylee’ stomach “and look at that, Joe is here. Have fun” I am not happy at all “come on little momma” holding my hand out to Joe, shaking his hand walking out “Chris” Joe said, I rather not speak right now and just go to this stupid shit.

I think I wasted most of my time trying to fix the car seat in my Porsche, banging the car door shut “so we good to go?” looking at Royalty, I hate car seats. I have taken so much time that even Rylee is leaving at the same time as me, slowly driving towards Rylee. Pressing my window down “Rylee” I said out of window “oh you speaking to me?” she pointed at herself “take care” Rylee walked over to the car “same to you, I wish I could come with you both but just make sure she is safe there and happy. Call me if you want anything, I don’t know how long this meeting will be but I will be home as soon as I can.” Poking my lips, Rylee rolled her eyes at me. Moving her hair back with her hand kissing my lips “still mad you didn’t come home” she moved back “I miss you already!” I spat “nigga shut up!” Joe half shouted, putting my middle finger up at him.

I thought I will let my baby drive off first, staring at Rylee as she stared me. Gesturing her to drive off first, she flashed me a smile driving off in her Range. Driving behind slowly “so you going to tell me, what you got in that bag? You hiding food from daddy?” looking over at Royalty “no, I not tell” I will check myself when I get there, looking in my rear-view mirror to make sure the gates closed behind us. Getting my phone out from my pocket “let’s put some music on, no girly music though” I will just put it on a random shuffle, pressing play and placing my phone in my lap. I am following right behind Rylee, I bet she is getting annoyed with me. I need to turn off now anyways, I will stop annoying her. Pressing down on the acceleration speeding by Rylee, her lane has traffic so have fun with that.

Holding Royalty’ hand walking towards the day care, smiling down at her. It does make me happy, honestly mind blowing how involved I am with Royalty now, I would have never been trusted to do such a thing with her. I wouldn’t have been allowed to bring her to her first day here, I am truly blessed. Pressing the buzzer on the side “I do it!!” Royalty yelped trying to reach up, picking her up so she could press it “yay!” Royalty clapped, placing her down on the ground. Rylee told me to make sure this place is safe, makes Royalty happy and is good I think. I will make sure that it is of course. The door opened exposing a young female “hello there” she smiled “come on in” she held the door open, placing my hand behind Royalty’ head motioning her inside the building “hello, I am Lilly welcome” she held her hand out to me “hey, I’m Chris” I don’t know why I am introducing myself like she don’t know “nice to meet you and you must be Royalty, don’t you look pretty today. Who did your hair?” Royalty stepped back into me all shy “mommy” she said in a whisper “oh wow, it looks so pretty” Royalty is going to be shy now.

Walking behind the lady with Royalty in my arms, she is either lazy or just doesn’t like it “this is the room Royalty will be in, her class. How about we have some time in there and play? We can have daddy with you, yes?” Royalty is not feeling it, I know her “she will get used to it, I think she will anyways” I hope she does, she will be coming here for the mornings “this will help Royalty to engage with other children, get her ready for classrooms. This where we can begin development at this stage” I wish Rylee came, I have no idea what I am doing “alright, the thing I want to make sure is that my daughter is safe. I don’t want nobody else picking her up beside me or Rylee, you will meet her but she is not here. Nobody can pick Royalty up no matter what they say” the lady nodded her head “oh yes, nobody can come in this building. We have to see the parent before they even enter. Every parent is checked before they take a child, I understand having you as a parent you want her safety” I don’t trust Nia either, she is dying to see Royalty.

Walking into the room, placing Royalty on the ground “let’s take this off” taking Royalty’ backpack off her “I will hold it for you” I wonder what she has in this, it is heavy “what do you have in here?” I was supposed to check, unzipping the bag “Roro, seriously?” looking up at her “mine, it mine” she mumbled “so you stole my Grammy award? That is mine, you crazy” zipping the bag “I cannot believe you, why you taking awards for. Silly butt” straightening myself frowning at Royalty “Chris this is Peyton, she will be working closely with Royalty and the kids in this class” she is very young, pretty too. She must be mixed race “hey Peyton” shaking her hand “nice to meet you Chris” she ain’t so ugly like they usually are, feeling Royalty wrap herself around my leg and burst out crying “why are you crying?” why is she doing this now, seriously “she stole my Grammy and she is crying about it” shaking my head.

These chairs are so damn small, my big ass hanging off this shit “you finna paint like daddy do? Show me, come on baby. It’s not that bad, I am here” I don’t think Royalty’ first day is going as well as I thought “is she settling in well?” Peyton walked over to us “uhhh she is quiet, I think if I move she will cry or want to come” she let out an oh “that is fine we can speak here, Lilly was telling me that there is a concern about Royalty’ safety and we would never let Royalty leave without people we know of, so yourself and Rylee?” nodding my head “I just don’t want nothing to happen to her, I don’t want anybody to take Roro. This is all so new to her, she is pretty much always with me or Rylee so she is with adults mostly. Sometimes her cousins see her, so this is very different and sharing will be a little weird to do” this little girl keeps waving at me smiling and then giggling, smiling back at her “we will help with things like this, Royalty who is this painting for?” she asked “Roro, the lady asking you” I said Royalty looked up “daddy, mommy” smiling at her.

Royalty held onto my hand taking me everywhere, my back is aching and I am about tired of these kids “you can play with dolls here too baby, I will wait there while you play there” she shook her head, I am being bombarded with kids and I rather stand back “daddy sit here” I groaned out, I am not built for this right now. Sitting down on the small chair again “what you finna do now baby?” I need to keep this backpack close to me now, I am shocked she has my Grammy in her backpack. Didn’t Rylee check this or she might not have cared, Roro really took my Grammy to this place. Royalty is really not here for sharing because any kid that comes along she stares at them like they don’t belong. Feeling a hand touch my shoulder, turning my head seeing this little boy “hey” I have realised that there is more teachers here then there were before “I see you on TV!” the kid yelped “so do I, I see myself on TV. It’s weird” Royalty jumped on my leg “my daddy” she climbed on me “I thought you playing? What are you doing baby?” she wrapped her arms around my neck.

I do not want to come here again, but Royalty has to come here because I am about to be paying a whole lot of money for this. Rylee can come here because I have no idea how to deal “did you like playing here Royalty?” Peyton asked, Royalty straight up shook her head “no” that is my daughter “she will get used to it I am guessing” stepping outside “well we understand it is a big step, so if we start off slowly with her. Mornings is what you wanted?” I have no idea if I did “I think you spoke to my wife, she said mornings only” I didn’t agree to anything but say yes “great, it will be good for Monday if Rylee and you both come together so we get her more engaged and comfortable. She will soon settle into it, there may be a few tears when you leave her” smiling at Royalty “she is good at doing that, Roro is a diva” she is so moody for no reason.

I am so tired, I feel like dropping Royalty off with Rylee “what shall we do next? Something reasonable? Something to do with food?” grabbing my phone from the side panel, seeing my sound engineer calling me “what’s good homie?” I said down the phone “you didn’t take your hard drives with the music? Luckily nobody took it” I really didn’t “oh shit, you there now? I can come to the studio now?” what am I even playing at, I left my music hard drive there and anybody could have stole that “yeah, come now I am waiting” what an idiot “cool” disconnecting the call “I need to go and get my things from the studio baby, I know it’s boring but I need to get it” I don’t know why my daughter is moody, she is being moody for no reason.

Lifting Royalty up so she could press the button for the elevator “yay! Daddy!” she clapped, placing her back on the ground “can I have phone” Royalty turned to me “uh, not right now but I will give it you after baby ok?” the elevator doors opened slowly, Bailey’ face slowly dropped. Seeing both Lo and Bailey, turning my face motioning Royalty into the elevator. I am glad they are getting off, fuck them hating ass, fake ass motherfuckers. Turning around meaning mugging them both, hitting the top floor button. Lo turned to look behind him and I put a finger up at him, stupid nigga is such a fake after everything, I gotta thank him for Rylee though.

Smiling across me, my date is so cute “you trying to be grown huh baby, sat on your own looking at me like that. You chose this place” Royalty had me walking up and down Hollywood just to choose this place out of them all, it looks nice though. Just I have never been here weird enough “so baby, what would you like?” looking down at the menu, pushing my snapback down licking my lips “chicken!” I knew that, what do you get a child “are you ready to order?” the waiter came over, looking up at him “not really, Roro. What do you want? Tell this man what you want?” she climbed up on the booth seat “chicken! Chicken!” she jumped up and down “the only thing I can see on this thing is chicken and waffle? Can I have that and fries, can you get me southern fry. And then Sprite and water” closing the menu “sit down before you hurt yourself” even though I am hating life right now it is nice that it is just me and Roro together and nobody else.

I had to sit next to Royalty and feed her, she tried to be grown but I had to break the chicken up for her “mmmm, daddy eat” she lifted her hand up, shaking my head “daddy is ok, I think I have eaten most of your food now” she danced and ate the piece of chicken herself, I wonder when we can have a nap. I am sure she is due for some sleep because I know I am “juice!” she pointed, picking the water up for her “we need to clean your hands baby girl” she is a mess, see this wouldn’t have happened with Rylee because everything would have been perfectly done. Royalty is really damn thirsty, laughing at her drinking “oh my god my daughter, Royalty” my eyes widened moving the drink back looking to the side of me seeing Nia and a whole bunch of girls, my heart sank instantly. Nia started crying, I didn’t know what to do. Grabbing the tissue from the table cleaning Royalty’ hands, I need to get out of here “look at her, she has grown so much. Let me see her” Nia grabbed my arm “get off me, seriously don’t touch me!” yanking my arm away, I need to go now.

Royalty stared in confusion “Royalty baby, it’s mommy” Nia sobbed out, sliding out of the booth. Royalty stood up on the booth seat, looking around me and every diner is staring at this mess. Digging into my back pocket “yo!” waving the waiter over, Nia pushed me out of the way “daddy!” Royalty stomped crying, Nia is acting mad fucking crazy. I was about to push Nia back but I stopped myself, with many people here I didn’t want to look like the bad guy “oh my baby, look at you, oh my god. You have grown, it is mommy. I miss you so much” passing the guy a hundred bill “just get out of her face Nia, move!” Royalty seemed to be really freaked out by Nia “you’re scaring her! Get out of the way, are you fucking stupid?” Nia turned to me “you stole my daughter away from me, he stole her!” eyeballing Nia “are you fucking crazy!?” she is crazy, making my way towards Royalty but Nia physically grabbed my top “give me my daughter back!” grabbing her wrists “let go of me, you’re scaring her” she won’t let go of my top “shall I call the police?” the waiter said, I don’t even want that but she is attacking me and I can’t just throw her ass down “Nia get off him, you’re really upsetting her” her friend finally spoke but Nia hit my chest.

Nia sobbed out “let me see her, why is she looking at me like this! You have that bitch calling her mommy! You bastard” she slapped my face, my mouth fell open. Her friend yanked Nia back away from me as I stared in shock holding my face, I am so ready to flip a table but hearing Royalty cry I stopped caring “it’s ok come here” picking Royalty from the seat, Roro held my neck tightly sobbing out “you stole her! You took my daughter” mean mugging Nia “you’re a shit mother, you didn’t know how to look after her. Mad that she actually has a mother that is there for her, she actually gets love. You pushed it, this is on you. You’re unfit and crazy!” my poor baby is so distraught “you think she want to go near someone that is attacking someone she loves, you never loved this girl. You loved the money” I would throw a chair at this bitch if I could.

Nia has lost her mind, I ain’t the type to get police involved but the waiter called them and now I am stuck here “are you wanting to press charges?” the officer asked, “yes he does” my ears perked up hearing Rylee’ voice, she was quick to come “I don’t know what happened but yes” I am so annoyed, I only wanted to feed my daughter “did she slap you!?” Rylee touched my cheek “did you do this?” Rylee looked at Nia “you hit my husband, it’s ok bitch we have people here seeing what you did” I just want to go now, I am over today “you are free to go with your daughter, we will be in touch with you” the officer said, Nia has really shook Royalty acting like a clown “you fucking bitch, you hit my man” looking up at Rylee holding her wrist “I want to just get out of here please” Rylee looks so annoyed “Royalty is gripping onto your shirt, are you ok to hold her?” shit is fucked up, I will get a restraining order on her ass “yeah” getting up from the chair.

Touching my cheek looking in the rear-view mirror, Rylee gripped my chin and moved my face to the side to see “ooohhh I want to beat her ass, she fucking hit you!” sitting back in my seat “I am proud you kept calm” she said, blowing out air “I was so close to doing something stupid, she came at me sideways for nothing. I am so angry, I called you because I don’t know I just needed to tell someone” shaking my head “it’s ok, I just left the place. I wasn’t far off, what exactly happened?” I am tired, irritated and ready to punch something “I was sat eating and she went crazy seeing Royalty, but Roro got more scared with the way she was acting, Nia just looked out of it crazy. She scared Roro, the dumb bitch. I did nothing but do my thing” Rylee touched my hand “pressing charges, I don’t care you leave that shit to me. She should be happy her daughter is somewhere good! She is not a good mother and she knows it, just go home now and sleep. Has Royalty slept? If she has, then I can take her” shaking my head, I feel deflated as fuck “ok, so just get her blankie. Sleep and I will be back before you know it, I do need to go back. Everyone kept saying where is Chris, we do need to sort the manger thing out. I will speak to you about everything, call me ok? If you need me, I am always here” smiling at Rylee “you’re like superwoman, you came here fast” she really did come here so fast after I put the phone down.

Royalty is still asleep but I woke up pretty much after an hour, I don’t know. I just can’t sleep “Chris! Are you upstairs!?” hearing Rylee half shouting “yes!!” I shouted back, she is back and I am so happy “ok, I am coming up” I am glad she is coming to me, I need some loving. I am watching Rylee’ shows, I am watching The Kardashians for, I don’t know why I am watching this shit but Rylee is forever watching it “is Royalty asleep in her room?” Rylee asked, lazily looking over at Rylee “yeah, I put her in her own room” turning the volume down “ok, I am so glad to take these heels off” she dropped them to the ground “don’t mind me, I am about to take everything off” smiling at Rylee, watching her undress “what are you smiling at?” grinning at Rylee shaking my head “just waiting on you to take off your wig off next” Rylee put a finger up at me walking into the bathroom “this weave is in good, fuck you” I chuckled rubbing my face.

“I am bra free, make up free, clothes free. I am so happy!” she really went all out and took everything off, she came out in just my tee “sorry, I can’t be sexy right now. I am too tired for it” she is tired, I am more tired than she is but I won’t say that to her. Rylee climbed onto the bed, crawling over to me “I missed you so so much!” Rylee pressed a kiss to my lips and then collapsed, laying her head on my stomach “I missed you more, how was your day babe?” touching the side of Rylee’ head, pushing back her hair “tiring, it was a meeting about what to do next. Mark really wants me to do the pregnancy shoot and then baby, the new designs for Black Pyramid are so cute! The females are going to love it, shame you wasn’t there. I got invited to Milan but I declined, I don’t have the energy for it, I am more stressed about this baby and then my big baby getting hurt. Are you watching my shows?” I love her ears, they are so cute. Rubbing her earlobe between my fingers “I didn’t know what else to watch, well I said to Mark to not work you too hard so there is that. I don’t really want you to work so ignore them” she can rest up before this baby.

Rylee reached behind her, holding my hand and pulling it forward “besides the fact the bitch hit you, how was day care for Royalty?” Rylee placed my hand on her cheek “it was ok but Roro ain’t like it as much, she was only ok because I was close by. The women want us to both go on Monday to settle her in, we spent some time. I saw Lo and Bailey but we said nothing and just walked by, I forgot my music hard drives. Then that happened to me, I am a little upset that Nia has really upset Royalty like that. That bitch is crazy” Rylee got up from her position “restraining order?” Rylee said crawling up to me, resting her back against the headboard “that is what I am thinking” Rylee touched my cheek “did you send a picture to your lawyer about this? She assaulted you, I don’t care. Even though I want to hit her I won’t, evil won’t get us baby” evil always wants to get me.

Smiling at the very first selfie Rylee and I took “you remember this?” turning my phone to Rylee, she is busy watching her shows and has gone all quiet “oh wow, back when I found you annoying” grinning at Rylee “I remember when I said to you that we would look back at this moment and say it all started here and it did, look at us now. We are married, I made the best decision in my life and that is you. I could never repay how much you have changed my life, it is a shame you never came to my shows and you ended up seeing Trey Songz” Rylee groaned out “you will never forget this but I wouldn’t have been a girl you liked, I don’t know why you like me. I am just regular as fuck, you fucked Rosa” I cringed “see, you don’t like it” she remembers that “you were a dick Chris, you chased me and was having sex with her. At times you scared me, not in a bad way but you had such a bad reputation with women. But then I just slowly started seeing a different man, it was like breaking this persona, the more you started feeling love the more you exposed the better you and when people said things I was like nope, that ain’t him and it’s not. I am happy with you, I love you” taking in a deep breath “light skinned tendencies I had” I mumbled.

Placing Rylee’ tee over her bump “I have a feeling that Peanut is going to be so light skinned and bougie already, I know he finna have a big forehead, your nose because that seems to be a big trait in your family. Maybe brown eyes” Peanut is going to get the world “your ears, he will have your ears. I hope your eyes too, your freckles. You have a beautiful face” Rylee touched the side of my face “I was supposed to tell you about last night Peanut, so I went to the studio and I was going to come home but guess who came in? Diddy and Cassie, you will meet Cassie she is like so beautiful but not as beautiful as your mom but they came. I did some more songs so that means more money, I got late and then your mom wanna be stank with me and hit me to wake me up, she mad rude Peanut. I took your sister day care, she cried, she took my Grammy to the day care” looking at Rylee “did you know that?” Rylee shook her head “Peanut wants you to leave him alone because the only beautiful female here is his mom” Rylee retorted, placing my cheek against Rylee’ stomach “he tells me that you a liar” I gasped moving my face “you felt that didn’t you?” staring at the stomach all wide eyed “he touched me? Oh my god, I felt him” I feel so overwhelmed “I told you, that is him telling you to stop talking about another woman” I am so amazed “that is our son in there, oh my god. Why can’t we have him now” I want to meet him so badly.  

[airanddust]

A day in isolation

Day I don’t even know. It’s March 27. I should be packed and ready for a trip to Japan, but that was cancelled a month ago. We should have been there to see the cherry blossoms and stay in a cramped Osaka hotel room. Now, as the meme says, we will be going to “Los Kitchenos.”

My mornings start with a sense of reluctance. Sailor nudges my leg two minutes before my 7 am alarm. I used to wake up at 6, which, since the time change, is now 7, but I haven’t been to the office since then so I’ve been waking up at this time for…three weeks. Since March 5.

I feed the dogs, stumble in the wan light to pull open the blinds, flip on my Happy Light, and unfurl my thick purple yoga mat. I don’t bother with the toning yoga videos anymore. It’s all stretches and relaxation practices. I choose fifteen or twenty minutes, or thirty if I didn’t hit snooze and feel luxurious. I tilt my spine side to side in tabletop position, hands and feet against the ribbed mat. A catch releases somewhere in my back.

The first downward dog is always a balm for my calves. My right leg is a block of concrete, stiff and unmoving after an uncomfortable night. I often wake to find myself jammed against one shoulder, or with a hand tingling, or my hip screaming so loudly it pulls me from a dream.

I work through the flow and inevitably need a tissue when my body spurts up some gunk that went dormant overnight. Clarity returns to my sinuses. I feel a little less hatred for the day ahead. It almost feels like a normal day.

Since stocking up for the vacation-apocalypse, I now have a myriad of breakfast choices as compared to my typical instant oatmeal packet or protein shake. I could have protein waffles, banana bread, strawberries, string cheese, or cinnamon raisin bread that Robert made, wide and puffy. 

I read the Bible while I eat. I used to read it on my YouVersion app, but that was creating a too-addictive don’t-break-the-chain habit (I got to 100 days this year), and the reading didn’t go deep. I switched to the mid-Psalms in my fifteen-year-old NASB college Bible and starting journaling my SOAP —  another unfortunate acronym, but a helpful one I gleaned from our church’s online messages. Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer. It helps me identify what most speaks to me in a passage and consider it more closely. Today it’s Psalm 41.

I have fifteen minutes to write, perched on the edge of my dilapidated former office chair, which has lost two silver wheels and now sits disabled next to my desk. I realized I need a separate space, even if it’s just a seat two feet from my office chair, in which to write and thus separate myself from work.

I check newsletters in my email. The Denison Forum, the New York Times briefing, the Hustle, Briefingday, and, on Fridays, Girls’ Night In. I take a quick scroll through Instagram. Sometimes I watch a few stories from my favorite fashion bloggers. Then I lift the lid of my work MacBook Pro.

It’s time to work, but the thought of eight hours ahead of me is nearly paralyzing. I usually open Trello, where I’ve divided my tasks into To Do, Doing, and Done, but today I try Marie Forleo’s handwritten method of finishing the sentence “The one thing I will accomplish today is…” Today, it is sketching and mocking up a grid view for car sensors.

Then the Slack messages come in. I removed Slack from my phone at the advice of a coworker — “only I can give myself anxiety; Slack doesn’t have that privilege” — but the desktop app still manages to contribute to the low-grade anxiety that I will miss a critical conversation. I disabled the red badge of death. I turned on Do Not Disturb. Yet I still compulsively open Slack every ten minutes. Working remotely seems to make me eager to prove I’m around, available, not goofing off, and I don’t get into that deep zone of focus I need. But I try. I turn on an instrumental playlist from Spotify — it only recommends classical and movie scores for me now — and clump my old, cheap Amazon headphones over my ears.

My cat Nala weaves in between my keyboard and monitor. She flips onto her back and splays her legs out, falls asleep, and spreads ever so subtly until her back leg shoves my keyboard to the far edge of the desk, where I am now forced to sit diagonal to my computer. If I shut her out of the office, she scratches the door and makes pleading guttural noises, but in the office, she seems to know when I have a Zoom meeting and pretends to run an agility course. More than twice I’ve had to introduce her to coworkers when she hops between me and the webcam, leaving a dark tail in her wake.

We had catered lunch daily at the office. Now we fend for ourselves. This week I wrote down a semi-meal plan, and today I pull two red-topped plastic containers from the fridge to mix Thai ground beef with leftover Kraft Mac and cheese. I microwave it until it’s a strangely humid combination of cuisines.

I read the latest edition of Real Simple while I eat. The magazine came bagged in a plastic sheath, which I peeled off and threw away before washing my hands. I know the content was created months ago before this virus existed, and yet it’s still odd to read something so remarkably free of Covid-19. There is, however, a spring cleaning feature that explains the difference between sanitizing and disinfecting. That reminds me we only have a handful of Clorox wipes left. When we run out I’ve thought of dipping paper towels into the leftover solution at the bottom of the canister. I haven’t been super diligent about wiping down surfaces, but then again, we don’t go out much. I haven’t been outside in two days.

I return to my desk and mindlessly nibble on a Seattle Chocolate Double Distilled Mint bar. I eventually return to the kitchen to make DIY milk tea — cold Lipton with a splash of milk, mixed in my reusable boba tea tumbler. I didn’t think I could tolerate caffeine, but the iced tea has just enough to propel me through the rest of the workday. I don’t have tapioca to add but that’s okay. There are apparently sixty-eight carbs per serving of boba. I’m already eating too much. We stocked up on rice cakes, bananas, peanut butter, oatmeal, canned soup, dried pineapple, Pop-Tarts, and granola. Five-year-old me is constantly aware of this and always planning my next trip to the kitchen.

At three I join a few coworkers for what we call Zoom-ba, our virtual dance session, where I share a pre-made YouTube playlist and we dance in tiny thumbnail windows with each other. Our favorite instructor is a guy named Mao who wears bright colors and dances on a pier somewhere over tropical waters. It helps us feel less like we’re trapped in our small, dark homes.

After an hour more of work, I join another Zoom call to work out with friends who exercise with me almost daily now. Today we do legs. Last time we did abs, which, for some reason, left Laura with sore arms and me with achy glutes. We’re still figuring out how to do this. We place our laptops on chairs and the floor and follow an impossibly fit woman on YouTube.

Sweaty and tired, I tell my friends goodbye and pull up Instagram to watch the nightly fireside chat from my favorite finance author. It’s comforting to have this small slice of a predictable schedule: to know that every night, he’ll appear on my screen at 5:30. After this I don’t know what I’ll do. Maybe eat, or walk the dogs.

Robert makes mashed potatoes in the Instant Pot, and a thick, starchy scent wafts through the house. The Instagram Live ends and I join him for small plates of mashed potatoes with canned green beans. It feels sort of like a survival meal. We forgot to defrost any meat. I know I’ll be hungry later.

It’s raining so we don’t walk the dogs. Instead, we finish watching the first season of Altered Carbon, which I wasn’t sure I’d even want to finish watching. I don’t like how the story is ending. I also realize that with each show I watch, I’m wondering why the actors stand so close to each other. It hasn’t even been six months since all of this started. Will I think this way about every show from now on?

After the show ends Robert goes to his home office and I go to mine, where I open Skillshare for the next new routine I’ve established: learning Spanish. A coworker mentioned it could be a good way to pass the time, and since we have several Spanish-speaking friends and I love Zumba music, I’d like to learn it. I sit in front of my laptop and repeat words to the screen.

Some nights I make a tiny zine out of a sheet of printer paper. I think I’m putting too much on my plate. My creativity feels dried up, restless, and I end up on Twitter or some other internet rabbit hole. I don’t want to look back and see that every decision I made during this time was reactionary, but some days I don’t feel like I can muster much more than that.

Before brushing my teeth and washing my face, I go through my planner, make sure I did everything I wanted to do today. I realize how crude that sounds when, as some articles tell me, I shouldn’t be focused on output during a time of global crisis. But I feel listless without these goals. I need something to put me in motion, even if only for distraction.

Now I’m in bed. I have a stack of library books procured hours before the library shut down, but I don’t always read them. I keep one on my nightstand just in case. I’ll probably watch Robert play Animal Crossing on the Switch until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. The music and repetitive actions are calming. Boring. Kind of like life used to be.

I fall asleep.

[biofunmy]

Puja Patel’s Pitchfork Work Diary: ‘Our Staffers Decidedly Own the Dance Floor’

Puja Patel listens to a lot of music. The volume has gotten so overwhelming since she was named editor in chief of Pitchfork, she’s had to create a system to manage it all. “I’ve decided to keep my new vinyl purchases to things that I know I’ll keep for the rest of my life,” Ms. Patel said. She puts unreleased albums into a folder on iTunes and streams everything else on Spotify. She also acquired an old iPod Touch to use solely for work, but that turned out to be fruitless when she learned it wasn’t compatible with the latest MacBook.

Pitchfork, with its authoritatively decimalized album ranking system, is one of the most influential music publications in the United States. A favorable rating has the power to propel a below-the-radar artist into the mainstream, while a negative one can sink a well-known performer’s latest effort. “As someone who was obsessively reading the site in college, to imagine running it one day was absurd,” Ms. Patel, 33, said. “And now that I’m here, it feels extremely powerful and correct.”

A child of immigrants — her father was from Zimbabwe and her mother is from India — Ms. Patel worked for a number of outlets, including Fader, The Village Voice and MTV, before joining Pitchfork. “My specialty was really showing that music was about community,” she said. “And how music is an immediate reflection of the tensions of a city, whether that be political or social, or even the way that tech was changing and inducing the way a genre moved.” In 2016, she was named editor in chief of Spin — becoming one of the few women to lead a large music publication — and she reveled in the opportunity to push its boundaries.

Pitchfork was founded in 1996 and acquired by Condé Nast in 2015. The Pitchfork Review, the site’s quarterly magazine, was shut down two years later, and last September Condé Nast asked Ms. Patel to take over from Ryan Schreiber, Pitchfork’s founder and longtime editor. We spoke in March, as she was producing the publication’s first “digital cover.”

Monday

6 a.m. I have this obnoxious tendency to wake up early in the morning and beat my alarm. I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about our digital cover story, which I was up late editing with our features editor. It’s about the singer Sky Ferreira. I eventually open up the story to see what tweaks were made and do some tweaking of my own. It covers some sensitive subject matter — like her friendship with Michael Jackson when she was a kid — so I think all of us are trying to take some care with how we deliver that.

7:30 a.m. Log into Slack and see that the singer Scott Walker has died. I talk to a news editor and assign an obit. As a music fan, I think one of the really difficult parts of the job is tabling your sadness and grief to be able to react and inform your readers as quickly as possible.

10:30 a.m. Staff meeting. We talk about Scott Walker, and our managing editor updates us on what to keep an eye out for today. I bring up our launch party, which is on Wednesday night, and gently remind the staff to be on their best behavior. I like these meetings — it’s useful for the staff, and it’s nice checking in with everyone, since we have so many sprawling parts of the magazine and all that comes with Condé Nast.

1:30 p.m. More party prep. I’m answering all kinds of questions like: Is this person on the guest list? What artwork should we display? Can you approve these finances? Can we get approval on this partnership thing? These things pop up all day, and I forget how much time they take up. It comes with the territory of being the editor.

3 p.m. I realize I haven’t written my editor’s letter, which is set to run tomorrow at 8 a.m.

4:30 p.m. I started blocking off this hour on my calendar without telling everyone why. I let everyone believe I’m in a meeting so I can do things like write my letter or check up on emails.

9:30 p.m. Running on fumes and finally writing my editor’s letter. (I take breaks to cook dinner, chat with my cousin and try on some clothes that I had ordered online.) The question I get most frequently from reporters and friends is what it feels like to be a woman in charge of a publication that’s been helmed by men until now. I try to speak to that in my letter.

12 a.m. Everything has been filed, typos and final copy-edits have been made. It’s time for bed.

Tuesday

6 a.m. Woke up before the alarm again. Text my mom and brother good morning, and scroll through my international family WhatsApp group thread. There are 30-plus people on it, and it regularly shifts from family updates to Gujarati or Hindi memes or videos.

7 a.m. Make scrambled eggs and check in with editors to make sure we’re set for the cover story rollout.

8 a.m. The cover story is live! I’m so happy that it’s finally out. I’m honestly a little emotional and very proud of how so many people, who hadn’t previously worked together, collaborated to make this come to fruition. Big projects like these always create trust and excitement about what else we can do as a staff — it’s a good sign of what’s to come.

12:30 p.m. I pop in to say hello to Vanity Fair editor Radhika Jones and ask about a Condé meeting scheduled for later today. (We moved floors recently and now share our space with her magazine and Wired.) We end up chatting for 30 minutes.

3:30 p.m. One of two weekly reviews meetings, where we go over our album review schedule, scoring, Best New Music designations and assignments. This is usually the easiest or knottiest meeting of the week, depending on the releases and how strongly the editors in the room feel about them. We try to have at least four people on staff listen to every album reviewed before landing on a precise score. Today, two editors have differing opinions on the score of a smaller album, and we talk about some existential issues with scoring against the legacy opinions of Pitchfork past.

6:30 p.m. Left the office earlier than usual because I need to eat dinner and figure out what to wear to tomorrow’s party. Make a salad and throw a quarter of my closet onto my bed, land on two or three things that could work and kick myself for always procrastinating on shopping.

8:30 p.m. Meet up with an old music friend at Zablozki’s in Williamsburg. We talk about the surge of reporting on sexism and assault in music — the journalist’s duty to the story, and then how women at labels and PR firms do their own reporting and assessments from within.

9:15 p.m. Head across the street to National Sawdust to see Yves Tumor, an experimental electronic musician who has played an after-party for Pitchfork Paris and our Chicago Midwinter event, a music festival in partnership with the Art Institute of Chicago.

9:45 p.m. Pitchfork is hosting an event with Tidal down the street at Music Hall of Williamsburg for Women’s History Month. I drag my label friend with me with the hopes of seeing the duo Girlpool, but we miss them, unfortunately.

10:30 p.m. In a cab home, texting with Pitchfork’s publicist. She tells me an on-camera interview scheduled for tomorrow got moved. I’m thrilled — one less thing to think about.

Wednesday

7 a.m. It’s a normal morning, which means I can spend the first few hours of my day listening to music and albums we’re slated to review.

1:30 p.m. My weekly meeting with Anna Wintour, the creative director of Condé Nast. Anna is a sounding board on anything big or small. We talk about everything: new developments on major editorial plans for the site, design updates, artists who are releasing new music, ideas around covers, the staff, navigating every kind of business change or hurdle while being true to the site’s spirit and point of view.

3:30 p.m. Head out of the office early to meet my mom and brother, who are in town from Baltimore. I spend the travel time going over the syllabus and reading materials of a New York University journalism class I’m speaking at tomorrow.

4:15 p.m. My mom and I get blowouts for the party. I lost my dad to lung cancer a little over a year ago, which was unexpected and sudden and has been very hard on all of us, especially my mom. Sometimes I wonder if I stay so busy so that I don’t let my mind wander into the deep sadness that comes every time I think about him. I miss him every day, and especially during times of celebration.

6:20 p.m. Arrive at Kinfolk for the party. The venue is covered in images and video from the cover shoot and it looks amazing. Events like this always move in a blur, but some highlights: Nancy and Rayna from LCD Soundsystem DJ. Anna Wintour chats with my mom for a while, and it brings me so much joy to see these two singular women in my life in conversation. Sky Ferreira and I talk about the release of her new single and what it feels like to have something new out after so long. The band Empath and two of our staffers decidedly own the dance floor.

9:30 p.m. The staff moves down the street to the Turkey’s Nest after the party. Everyone has their biggest smiles on. I want to take a snapshot of the moment and commit it to memory forever.

Thursday

12:30 p.m. My mom and brother come to our office at 1 World Trade Center for lunch. It’s nice to be able to show them what I do and where I work, especially since online media is an unconventional career path in some ways. The view from the office helps, too.

3 p.m. Weekly senior editorial meeting with team leads.

7:30 p.m. At N.Y.U.’s Bobst library to speak to students at the Clive Davis Institute about “Race, Gender, and Music Writing” for a class on writing about popular music. The students are great. They’re avid readers of Pitchfork and big music fans, and they ask sharp and very specific questions about our editorial process and where we fit in the digital media landscape. This is my favorite part of the day, easily. It reaffirms that, in a different life, I’d like to be a teacher.

9:15 p.m. The professor of the class is the executive editor of Billboard and a friendly acquaintance. We decide to grab some sushi at Lure Fishbar and catch up on industry gossip and media news before calling it a night.

Friday

12:30 p.m. Meeting with our design director, art director and photo director to discuss the big-picture styling and timeline of some new visual projects.

1:30 p.m. Our video lead tells me that Conor Oberst and Phoebe Bridgers are on their way to the office studios to shoot for our “Over/Under” series. Last week we ran into the “Queer Eye” cast in the cafe and taped them for the series, too. It’s one of my favorite franchises because of how genuinely funny and random it tends to be.

5 p.m. A label rep and friend of the staff comes in to play new music from the U.K. rapper Slowthai in our Listening Room. You can tell when the staff are especially excited to hear something, because they all try to cram into a room made to seat eight. The music leaks into the hall and through the walls and is welcome next to the usual sounds of typing.

8:45 p.m. My friend Jia comes over to my apartment in Williamsburg with a bottle of wine. We became friends years ago when we were both bloggers and now she’s part of a close-knit group of women I don’t know what I’d do without. Another writer friend stops by, too. We listen to Solange and Jessica Pratt and eventually let Spotify take over as we recap our weeks and hang. When I go to bed, I don’t bother to set an alarm.

Interviews are conducted by email, text and phone, then condensed and edited.

Sahred From Source link Fashion and Style

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