#but like its fun. its fun. its a good movie to watch if you just want something simple but engaging. maybe do some like mindless chores
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☆┊GINGERBREAD MEN
SUMMARY: someone made gingerbread men! you’ve decided to share it with a special someone of yours. how do they eat it?
CHARACTERS: all dorms + grim (-ortho)
GENRE: fluff, crackfic-ish
WARNINGS: cursing
NOTES: debated between this and an angst fic but im feeling festive and holly jolly so you got the fluff this year. merry christmas!!
reader is g/n, reader is yuu
EATS THEM LIKE NORMAL CAUSE THEY’RE “JUST COOKIES”
whether they’re in shape of a man or round, a cookie is a cookie. does it matter where you bite first? no! not like it has feelings—stop. he’s not heartless, these stupid cookies can’t feel anything. does not appreciate the way you look at him with a slight frown. he’ll acknowledge the fact they are more than regular cookies, does that satisfy you? please just say it does. you want to make houses for them too?! sighhh… get him the kit from the kitchen..
riddle, trey, leona, jack, azul, jamil, vil, malleus, sebek, silver
BITES THE HEAD OFF FIRST
snaps the head off and starts grinning like a fool. will literally INSIST it’s the most efficient way to eat gingerbread men and is not willing to reason. since he’s so mature, you’ve caught him one time biting the head off then putting the cookie back on the plate with red icing oozing from the top. nooo… he didn’t do that. the cookie was just bleeding, that’s all! don’t look at him like that, let him have fun. anyway, if you’ll excuse him. this plate of gingerbread wasn’t going to eat itself and these guys must be rushed to the guillotine. which was his mouth.
ace, jade, epel, idia
BITES OFF THE ARMS AND LEGS SO THEY “SUFFER FOR THEIR GINGERBREAD CRIMES”
if only you could paint a picture of the scene you had just saw. he throws the cookie onto the plate, interrogating it with questions straight out of a detectives movie. abruptly, he picks the poor cookie up and snaps off all its limbs, leaving the head before smiling at it wickedly. as he heard your voice, he turned suddenly. uhm.. you didn’t see that. he was just uh.. asking questions. to be fair this man owed time. wait, DONT YOU DARE TAKE PICTURES OF HIS SHAME. HEY! GET BACK HERE!
deuce, cater, floyd, rook, idia, lilia
POPS THE ENTIRE COOKIE IN THEIR MOUTH, SOMETIMES SEVERAL AT ONCE
feels like staring at a chipmunk. you had just watched him massacre what could’ve been an entire village of gingerbread men in less than 20 seconds because he thought it was funny. felt no regret whatsoever and will not hesitate to do it again. you try to explain to him why eating it this way was probably not a good idea, but fuck that!! who cares!! it’s christmas which means every man for himself!! and then he choked on cookies for 10 minutes so good luck to you, prefect.
ace, ruggie, jade, floyd, kalim, epel, lilia, grim
A/N: sorry, got busy again this month lol. here’s a xmas special to make up for the disappearance. merry christmas!!
date published: 12/25/24
© temiizpalace — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!
#disney twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland fluff#twisted wonderland x reader#twst fluff#twst x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#ace trappola x reader#deuce spade x reader#trey clover x reader#cater diamond x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#jack howl x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#kalim al asim x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#epel felmier x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#silver vanrouge#sebek zigvolt x reader#grim twst#christmas#merry christmas
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Trash TV
Dieter Bravo x Personal Assistant Reader
The hotel room buzzed with an awkward quiet, broken only by the faint sounds of the city beyond the thick glass windows. Dieter Bravo sat slouched on the edge of the bed, his hoodie bunched around his hunched shoulders, the fabric stretched tight between his restless fingers. His usual dramatic bravado was gone, replaced by a kind of nervous vulnerability you hadn’t seen before. Maybe it was because he’d never stayed sober this long. Or maybe it was because he’d never been in a relationship that wasn’t driven by his money.
You sat across from him, legs tucked beneath you on the armchair, a hotel robe loosely draped over your frame. This was your first Christmas as not just his personal assistant but also *kind of* his girlfriend. You hadn’t put a label on your relationship, but he’d stayed sober for you and become surprisingly faithful. You never thought you’d see Dieter Bravo clueless about someone flirting with him—yet when the receptionist tried, he brushed her off, saying he couldn’t wait to see the gifts his lady got him. That’s what you were to him: his keeper, his lady, the one who sorted out his messes but also the one he knew he couldn’t survive without. He wanted you in every aspect of his life, even if it meant staying sober.
It had been an easy night until now—room service, bad movies, and his running commentary punctuating every ridiculous scene with remarks about how he’d do better. But something had shifted—a shadow crossing his face during a rare quiet moment. And now you were here, trying to figure out what he’d never say aloud unless it forced its way out.
“I’m not lovable,” Dieter said suddenly, his voice heavy with self-hate. The words fell like stones into the quiet, echoing through you.
You blinked, caught off guard by the rawness in his voice. “What?”
He didn’t look at you. Instead, he focused on the frayed edge of his hoodie, tugging at a loose thread. “I’m fun for a little while,” he said, the corner of his mouth twisting into a bitter smile. “But there’s too much under the surface. It’s more than anyone should have to deal with.” He let out a laugh that sounded painful. “I’m like trash TV—and that’s ironic because I’m a good actor—you watch it for a while, and it makes you feel better about how normal you are, but it gets annoying if it’s all you watch.”
You stared at him, his words hanging in the air like a unspoken truth. He wasn’t joking, not this time. The usual quips and distractions he threw up to keep everyone at arm’s length were gone, leaving only the jagged edges of his insecurities. He sat there, bracing himself for rejection, like he expected you to agree.
“You really believe that?” you asked, your voice softer than you meant it to be.
“I know it,” he shot back quickly, defensively. His hands stilled, and he finally looked up at you. His dark eyes were wide, vulnerable in a way that made your chest ache.
“I’ve been through this enough to know how it ends.”
“How does it end?” you pressed, leaning forward.
“With me fucking it up,” he said, his voice breaking just enough to betray him. “With you realizing I’m...” He exhaled sharply, dragging his hands through his unruly hair. “I don’t know. Too much? Too broken? Take your pick. It always happens eventually. And I’m gonna end up shattered, restless, and totally done with myself.”
The weight of his confession was suffocating, but not for the reasons he feared. It wasn’t disappointment or regret that sat heavy in your chest—it was the sheer force of wanting to prove him wrong. You stood, padding over to the bed and sitting down next to him. He tensed at first, but he didn’t pull away.
“Dieter,” you said, your voice steady. He turned his head slightly, just enough to look at you from the corner of his eye. “You’re not trash TV. You’re far from it.”
He scoffed, but you cut him off before he could deflect. “I’m serious. You’re messy, complicated, and frustrating as hell sometimes. But you’re also funny, smart, and... God, so kind when you let yourself be. You care more than you think you're allowed to, and it scares you.”
His jaw tightened, but he didn’t interrupt. You took it as permission to keep going.
“You’re not some temporary distraction or someone to put up with. You’re just... you. And yeah, maybe you’re a lot, but I’d rather have all of you than none. You don’t have to be perfect to be worth loving.”
His breath hitched, and you swore you saw the faintest sheen of tears in his eyes. He dropped his gaze, his hands wringing together in his lap. “You don’t get it,” he muttered. “You don’t know everything yet. You know more than most, but there are still things…” He knocked on his head. “…things that would scare you away.”
“Then let me see,” you said. “Stop deciding for me what I can handle. Give me the chance to decide for myself. And I’ll show you I can handle all of you.”
He looked at you then, really looked at you, like he was searching for the catch, the lie, the flaw in your words. When he didn’t find it, his shoulders sagged, some of the tension bleeding out of him.
“You make it sound easy,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“It’s not,” you admitted. “But nothing worth it ever is.”
Dieter let out a shaky laugh, rubbing a hand over his face. “You’re either insane or... I don’t know. Insane seems more likely.”
“Probably,” you teased gently. “But that’s why we fit. We’re both insane. A good match, I’d call it.” You nudged his shoulder with yours. “You’re insane for putting up with me. For bringing me my pretty pickles when I’m on my period, or buying my crazy stationery when I’m in a creative mood.”
He huffed a small laugh, the ghost of a smile pulling at his lips. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
You stayed close, giving him space to process in his own time. He didn’t say anything more, but the way he leaned into you spoke volumes. There was still a long way to go, but at least he wasn’t alone in it anymore.
He was quiet for a while, his breathing calming, his hand finally still in his lap. Then he shifted slightly, turning toward you. When his eyes met yours again, there was something different—a hint of determination under the vulnerability.
“You really think I’m worth it?” he asked, his voice low, almost fragile.
“I don’t think it,” you said softly. “I know it.”
His gaze flicked to your lips for a brief second before returning to your eyes, as if asking for permission. You didn’t hesitate, leaning forward to close the space between you. The kiss started gently, his lips soft and unsure against yours, but soon deepened, filled with a raw desperation and quiet gratitude. His hands cupped your face, trembling but steady, as if afraid to let go. You had shared countless kisses before, but this one felt different—more real, more alive.
When you finally broke apart, your foreheads rested together, breaths mingling in the space between you. Dieter’s eyes were glossy, his expression unreadable for a beat before he whispered, “I think I love you.”
The confession hung in the air, raw and unpolished, but it was everything.
You smiled, your hands resting on his wrists. “Good,” you murmured. “Because I love you too.”
A shaky laugh escaped him, and he pulled you into a tight embrace, his face buried in the crook of your neck. For the first time, it felt like he wasn’t holding anything back. And for the first time, you knew he believed he didn’t have to.
Writing Prompt #2916
"I'm not lovable. Not in the long term. I know that."
"What?"
"I'm fun for a little bit, but there's too much when you dig down. It's more than anyone else should have to handle. I'm like trash TV—you put it on for a little bit and it makes you feel better about how normal you seem but grating if it's all you watch."
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utterly obsessed? - three
summary: actress y/n I/n has recently skyrocketed into stardom after her breakout film 'castaways' alongside sarah cameron, kevin hart, chris evans and chris hemsworth. weeks after the movies premiere, she drops her debut single, further cementing her place in the spotlight. as millions of people around the world begin to idolize her, she catches the attention of rafe cameron, who doesnt shy away from becoming utterly obsessed in what seems to be the cutest way possible.
main masterlist
two - three - four
december 21, 2024
everythingyn
everythingyn y/n, accompanied by co-star rafe cameron and friends at 'hellraiser' premiere, as well as co-director, john b routledge making a couple appearances. bts pics were also recieved by fans who attended the premiere!
user jj and kie? kill me now theyre so cute.
user i will die on the cameron siblings supremacy hill.
user finest group of friends to EVER strut this earth.
user tuh. jj come home the kids miss you😔
➯ jjmay On my way!
➯ user BYE
user yall my friend said that backstage or wtv rafe and y/n werent near eachother at ALL..
➯ user they must be really good actors then😭😭
user john b, one chance! sarah, can you fight?
user i feel like theyd be so fun to hang out with if i had a man cs if u think im seventh or ninth wheeling😭
user love this❤️
user DJFVNIRJBV
➯ user real
truth was, the more sarah tried to get you and rafe close to eachother, to talk at the very least, the more the two of you found it awkward and distanced yourselves. you had spent the majority of the time at the premiere beforehand with jj, pope, kie and cleo, while he spent most of his time with sarah, john b, and topper. its her brother, can you blame her? why topper was there? no one knew.
you were mid conversation with jj when sarah came over once again with a beaming smile. "sarah, no." you immediately shook your head, glancing around at the fans that had turned up especially early, presumably wanting to capture pictures of whatever they could gossip about. "what? i cant smile at my bestfriend?" she jokingly crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow. "not when i know theres something you want," you point an accusatory finger at her.
you chuckled when she let out a heavy sigh, "okay, maybe." she said with a soft smile. "just a hug with you and rafe before you start, pleaseee." she begged, as she held your right hand with her left. you widened your eyes in agreement, tossing your other hand slightly into the air. "fine," you let her lead you towards rafe, where he glanced between you and sarah with a soft nervous? smile.
you offered him a tight lipped smile, opening your arms as if reaching in for a hug. he did the same, bending down and wrapping them around your mid-back as you wrapped yours around his neck. "sorry 'bout her," he mumbled into your ear. a slight chuckle left your lips, "its expected dont worry." you rubbed you hand up and down his back before patting it as if beginning to let go.
rafe noted the signal, also rubbing his hand up and down your back for a moment before backing away. the two of you stayed close, greeting some of the fans that had arrived early before saying a quick goodbye and retreating back to your original small groups. you sucked in a breath through your teeth as jj laughed, wrapping an arm loosely around your shoulder.
"y'good?" he mumbled as he watched cleo and pope innocently bicker as they tried to fix his hair with kiara laughing behind them. "yeah. i d'know what sarahs doing but as long as she doesnt push it." you shrug, watching as most paparazzi as well as a couple interviewers made their way to the designated area at the carpet, the horde of fans growing behind them.
he heaved out a sigh, wrapping both arms around neck in a warm hug. "whoa, hi there." you laugh. "whats this for?" you mumble, wrapping your arms around his waist as the two of you rocked slightly side to side. "im proud of you," he placed his chin on top of your head. "you tell me that all the time j," you laugh, however, you decide to stay in the hug for a while more.
"yeah, i know," he said softly, pulling away only slightly to face you. "but i want you to know i mean it, and thank you for keeping me by your side," he jokes, you laughing as he pulls you back into the embrace. after a short moment, you pull away. "thank you jj. love you." you smiled as he reciprocated, smiling down at you. "love you too, buddy." he kisses your forehead.
he nodded at the carpet, "go ahead, take some picture and let us know when you want us to join you." jj patted your shoulder, lightly pushing you towards the carpet where rafe was also approaching. you gave him a kind smile, glancing to where you previously were to see jj and kie, as well as pope and cleo smiling and cheering for you.
you laughed quietly as you and rafe wrapped an arm around eachother, taking a couple picture before some members from the rest of the cast, as well as john b and his co-director came over to also take pictures. after a couple more moments of posing for the cameras, john b gave you the all clear to call jj and the others over, so you did as he called sarah over. they all rushed up to you and rafe, hugging the both of you as a small greeting as if the nine of you hadn't greeted eachother before.
the nine of you got into random places, posing for pictures for some minutes. after a couple shots and different poses, everyone dispersed as you, john b and rafe moved on to the short interviews. your eyes first landed on a woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties, anxiously holding a microphone. you smiled politely at her as you approached. "hi," you extender your hand out for a handshake, one which she nervously accepted.
"hi," she stuttered back. "sorry.. my first time doing an interview." she shrugged lightly, to which you nodded. "dont worry, i dont bite." you laughed. she sighed as you stood patiently, "wanna get started?" she asked as she held a flash card in her hand. "whenever you're ready, dont worry." you held a hand out, silently saying that it was her call.
she inhaled slowly, exhaling after a moment. "okay- this was your first journey in horror/mystery film compared to your breakout role in the comedy, castaways," she paused as if asking for your approval, to which you nodded. "how challenging was it to manage the intensity and dynamics between your character and rafe camerons compared to castaways?"
you furrowed your eyebrows with a smile, pointing a finger at her as you raised your head in thought. "good question," you spoke into the mic she had moved closer to your face. "well, it was way more different in this movie. i feel like on set, whether we were filming or not, you could feel the sort of– tension? if thats what it could be called." you paused, gathering your thoughts.
"but compared to castaways where the tone was light and carefree both on and off set, yeah it was definitely challenging. this film defenitely required a lot more focus and deep diving into my character, but i was lucky to have a good co-star whos been in projects like this before to help me when i struggled." you glanced at rafe, who was at the other side of the carpet, also engaged in an interview.
the interviewer nodded along as you answered her first question, then trasitioning to her next. "speaking of, what was the first major difference you feel that set in when transitioning from four co-stars to one main costar?" you nodded, raising your eyebrows with a slight surprised face. "whoever writes your questions needs a raise," you joked, erupting a laugh from the interviewer.
you paused for a moment as you thought about your answer, "but, the first major difference i felt was the change in atmosphere. i feel like with multiple costars, theres sort of a family mood that sets in compared to with one main costar." you paused. "with one, its much more intimate, but it also allows for more exploration into your characters and their stories to make sure you understand the complexity of the entire plot." you spoke into the microphone with a small smile, "but i think it also had to do with the type of project you're working on."
"okay, good answer." the woman complimented to which you smiled with a small nod of your head. "heres a simpler question. did you have a certain routine you followed to get into your character while on set?" you fixed your hair as you thought about how to answer the question while also reminiscing about your days on set.
finally, you shook your head. "i wouldnt say i did. if anything, i would have my headphones in, listening to my playlist while in hair and makeup. but, to be honest, the music wasnt the same vive as the movie" you laughed as the interviewer smiled at you.
she tilted her head, switching grips on her microphone. "any artists we would know?" you nodded with a small smile, "hopefully," you crossed your index and middle fingers with a small laugh. "a lot of frank ocean, the weeknd, brent faiyaz, bryson tiller... a bunch of that type of music. and of course my baby, maddy beer." you blew a kiss to the camera, letting out a soft smile after.
the interviewer smiled at you and nodded, bringing the mic back to her face. "well, i believe thats all for this interview. thank you and good luck on your next," the woman smiled politely. you reached your arms out to pull her into a hug, "you did good," you smile as you pull away. "thank you," she mouthed. you waved a small goodbye towards her before walking a couple feet away to your next interview.
finally, after the entensive amount of interviews, where the questions were repeated for the most part, you shook the hand of the last interviewer, who for some reason had a habit of looking down your body, you not succeeding in hiding the disgust on your face. you walked away from the line of interviewers, looking around to find literally anyone you knew.
"boo!" jj grasped your shoulders from behind, to which you jumped. "jesus," you held a hand to your chest. "dont–" you shoved his chest, "do that jj." you concluded with a small laugh as he shoved you back lightly. "howd it go?" he asked you as the two of you walked away to find your friends. "eh.. it went good. i liked the first girl. she was nervous but shes good at her job." you smiled as you waved at random fans or people from set.
you sighed as the two of you went behind the carpet, "d'know about the last guy tho, bit of a creep," you shrugged. jj nodded along at your words, hand on your mid back as you moved around people. "well, at least its over," he joked with a small laugh. you reciprocated, laughing as the two of you approached kiara. you smiled excitedly, wrapping your arms around her neck with a small squeal as the two of you rocked back and forth giddily.
"im gonna go find jb," you removed yourself from the hug with kiara, turning to jj. "might wanna wipe the lipstick off better next time," you motioned to his jawline with a teasing smile. jj rolled his eyes, wiping the back of his hand along his jawline. "you idiot," kie moved around you, smacking his hand off his face to help him wipe the lipstick off. "have fun," you quipped as you made your way around people to look for john b.
rafecameron
liked by sarahcam, youruser, popeh and 1.3 million others
rafecameron life.
user the scream i scrumpt
sarahcam the way u copied my caption and im not on here..🙄
user TWO pictures of her? on purpose? very rare.
user let me B A N G BABY.
youruser well someone did me wrong
user he has a kid?
➯ user yes
➯ user no thats sarah and jbs daughter
user THEE james bond?
jbr get a load of this bald specimen
➯ rafecameron thats it im shaving your hair off
➯ sarahcam please do.
➯ jbr hello?
user we got family drama going on guys!
barrylyman i get a feat? sick.
*liked by creator*
user the way shes FIRST? the arm? someone pinch me
user WHO took my clothes
popeh im insulted
➯ rafecameron you know i love you bae
user help hes so girl dad
user rafe! ass or tits?
➯ user BRO WHAT?? LMAO
➯ lmaowhatt hes an ass man for sure
user help y/n is so unproblematic.
your phone
sarahs phone
a/n: sigh. also, according to chat gpt barrys last name is lyman, it doesnt really fit him but im running with it. we all know hes practically married to rafe canonically so its okay. a/n pt.2: next post might be on christmas day because i want to spend time with my family and friends tomorrow and i hope you all do as well! a/n pt.3: i also wrote the interview questions and answers myslef. ill let you know i was very proud of myself😭
#lmaowhatt#obx#obx fic#obx fanfiction#obx x reader#outer banks#outerbanks smau#outerbanks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#outer banks fic#rafe cameron smau#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe smau#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron obx#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron social media au#drew starkey#rafe x you#rafe x reader#outer banks x reader#x reader
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HEYYYYYYY LOVE
The devil and us spending Christmas tofwwther qnd we do all the stuff you do on Christmas, snowball fights (we're so going under), giving gifts and all that stuff.
And since its also Karmas Birthday, lets say the reader is like- a VERY spoiling person, like they always make sure gifts are perfect and epic
xmas + birthday headcanons! Karma x Reader // not proofread but oh well it’s timeeee!! °. *࿐
Since Karmas parents travel often it isn’t uncommon for him to spend Christmas (also his birthday) alone.
To find out Karma hasn’t properly celebrated Christmas in some years made you decide this year’s Christmas had to be extra!
Christmas Eve you force him into a living room sleepover. You spend the day watching movies and talking, spending time together and everything.
He makes you play some messed up version of truth or dare except you can only pick dare. Spending half the day embarrassing one another!
“I dare you to go caroling to the neighbors house.”
“But they hate me ever since I broke their window with my back four years ago.”
“Great! This will be a good way to repay them.”
Snowball fights are brutal because he doesn’t hold back!!
Neither do you, but the guy cannot loose. He is getting the last laugh even if it means climbing onto the roof to get you unsuspectingly.
Making gingerbread houses could be something else, he’s unfortunately good at that too even though it’s his first time since primary school .
GINGERBREAD MEN specifically ugly ones of people you hate (Asano)
You guys decorate your tree together!! (He DIY-ed ornaments with funny pictures of you.)
Seems like the type of guy to try to scare you with an elf on the shelf throughout the day. As in hangs it on a rope attached on a ceiling fan so you wake up to a creepy disheveled doll in your face the night before.
As for gifts and spoiling him, you’d ask him what he wants and he’d just tell you he doesn’t need a gift.
So now you have to interrogate Nagisa and get him to find out for you.
You ended up getting a few things like clothes, video games, some crazy spices for his weird collection. Going all out with a signed copy of the latest Sonic Ninja comic from his favorite director.
His reaction? He’s fanboying on the inside but trying to be cool about it. He casually brags to Nagisa not only about the signed copy but about how cool you are to go out of your way to do everything.
He got you a gift too but he’s 1000% pranking you with something else beforehand because he needs to have his fun.
You had to buy him a cake too, then make your family sing for him and go the extra mile to get him birthday decorations too.
Spoil him all day with food and attention, he hasn’t been excited for his birthday in a hot minute- but now that he’s got this he’s looking forward for next year.
#ansatsu kyoushitsu#karma akabane#assassination classroom x reader#karma x reader#karma akabane x reader#akabane karma x reader#assassination classroom#assclass#karma akabane headcannons#anzulvr
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The Yule Lodge - Part One
A PEDROSTORIES SECRET SANTA GIFT FIC
A/N: As always, a big thank you to the moderators of @pedrostories for organizing this event! It's always a lot of fun and definitely helps put me in the holiday spirit every year. I can't wait to see what others have created for this event! This story kind of completely ran away from me, so as you can see, this is only the beginning. I hope my fic recipient doesn't mind, but it's looking like a three part story, which I'm aiming to get the rest of posted within the next few days. Now, if you'll all suspend disbelief with me, there's a very exclusive, high-end Bed & Breakfast I'd like you all to visit...
Gift Tag: SURPRISE @covetyou ! I was your Secret Santa for the Pedrostories gift swap! You gave me so many great prompts and ideas to run with, but the ones that stuck out most to me were "Magic is real" and "chaotic meet cute". Out of the characters that you listed, Ezra and Dieter seemed like likely candidates, and that's where my top secret anonymous ask where I made you choose emojis with no context came into play. You (blindly) choose Dieter, and I am so glad that you did because I have been having a blast writing this for you and I truly hope that you enjoy it! Wishing you a very Merry Christmas, the happiest of holiday seasons and only the best in the New Year, lovely!!
Warnings: brief mention of infidelity (not Dieter or Reader!) cannabis consumption, I think that's it for now ;)
Word Count: 5,416
Summary: Last minute holiday travel plans sure can be chaotic sometimes. In some cases, it can even seem as though there is some kind of supernatural intervention going on. But that's crazy... Right?
He wasn’t supposed to be here.
Wherever the fuck here is.
As the cab pulled up to its destination, Dieter rolled his forehead against the rear passenger side window to get a better view of the place, ignoring the way that the chill from the glass sunk into his skin. His eyes narrowed, then blinked wide as he took in the Dickensian looking Bed and Breakfast.
Well it’s sure as shit not the Savoy.
That was where he was supposed to be staying. That was where he had asked Cori, his assistant, to book him a suite from the 23rd to the 26th. That was where he had been planning to spend his Christmas, sprawled in a king sized bed wearing baggy pajama pants, devouring snowflake shaped THC infused sugar cookies, watching old movies and ordering room service until the holiday was good and over. Just like he’d done almost every year for the previous two decades.
And to her credit, Cori had booked him that suite. She’d done it months ago, when she made the travel arrangements for the press tour that had brought him to London in the first place. He was there to promote Getaway Man - the must see action-thriller that was set to open worldwide on Christmas Day, and that was already receiving Oscar buzz - with two of his co-stars. They had both gone straight to the airport following the final round of interviews, though, anxious and eager to get back home in time for holiday celebrations with their families. But Dieter had planned to do just the opposite from the get go, so all he had to do was check out of one hotel, travel a few blocks, and check into another one. Cori had sent him receipts along with his itinerary, and his stay at the Savoy had been on both of them.
It wasn’t a booking issue that caused the last minute switcharoo. Or, rather, it wasn’t an issue with the room that Dieter had booked. It actually had to do with another guest’s reservation - his ex-wife’s. Or, rather (again), it had to do with a reservation made by Anika’s new husband, fellow actor Mark Atlas.
And people say my last name is bullshit.
Anyway, apparently Mark found out that Dieter was going to be staying at the Savoy while he and Anika were also going to be there, and promptly threw a Hollywood sized hissy fit about the “optics” of the three of them spending Christmas under the same roof. Something about “not wanting to put Anika through the ordeal of being around Dieter.” As though he was the one who had shocked her by asking for the divorce.
As though I was the one who cheated.
It was far more likely that Map Man was worried about his sweet, innocent wife “accidentally” bumping into Dieter under the mistletoe in the middle of the night, than he was about putting her through anything.
And for the record, even if she had tumbled into Dieter’s lap wearing nothing but a couple of strategically placed Christmas ribbons, he wouldn’t have done a damn thing about it. He wasn’t like Mark. He didn’t need - or want - to fuck someone else’s wife.
No. This had nothing to do with Atlas looking out for Anika, and Dieter knew it. This was about Hollywood’s new favorite golden boy snapping his fingers and getting what he wanted at Dieter’s expense. Dieter’s body of work since the Cliff Beasts fiasco may have been award worthy, his performances lauded by critics and fans alike. But Mark Atlas had just signed on to a six movie deal in a superhero franchise that already had comic cons selling out despite the fact that he hadn’t been announced to the panel yet. The first film in the series hadn’t even been released but McDonald’s already had the fucking action figures in their goddamn happy meals.
In short, Atlas was the bigger, shinier, more family friendly name at the moment. And in show business, the moment was all that mattered.
So even though Dieter had checked into his room at the Savoy earlier that day without issue, and despite the fact that he’d already changed into his baggiest pair of pajama pants and shaggy green robe, the call from the front desk still came. It wasn’t a demand that he leave. It wasn’t even really a suggestion. The manager had simply stated that another guest expressed concern over the “possibility of a negative encounter with Dieter”, and asked if he would like to cancel his stay for a full refund, plus a complimentary three night stay at a time of his choosing.
Good to know I’m still shiny enough that they didn’t want to piss me off entirely.
He didn’t need to bother asking the manager which guest had expressed that particular concern. There was only one person Dieter could think of who both held that kind of sway, and disliked him enough to purposely derail his holiday. He knew it was Mark.
Even though I have no idea why that fucker hates me so damn much. He fucking won.
Though the thought of spitefully refusing to leave just to screw with Atlas was tempting, Dieter just wasn’t in the mood for a big dramatic debacle. And even though it hurt to know that Anika was seemingly fine with Mark’s treatment of him, he didn’t want to give in and invite the negative encounter that Mark was setting him up for.
Instead, he told the manager that he’d check out as soon as he found a new hotel, and took the man up on the offer for a future stay. He then promptly texted Cori to fill her in on everything and crossed his fingers in hopes that she had some secret backup options up her sleeve. The fact that it was mere hours away from Christmas Eve in one of the world’s busiest cities made it a tall order, and he was aware of that. But Cori had proven time and time again that tall orders were her specialty, so Dieter was cautiously hopeful.
When his phone rang in his hand a few minutes later, he ceased his pacing to answer it.
“Cori?” He plopped down on the edge of the bed as he spoke, hardly holding back a groan at how goddamn comfortable the mattress was. Can’t believe I don’t even get to sleep on it. “Please tell me you found something else.” He flopped all the way back, sinking into the down-filled duvet. Oh, fuck you, Mark. “I really don’t want to have to come back to-“
“Actually,” an unfamiliar female voice cut him off. “My name is Ivy, Mr. Bravo. I work for Cori. She asked me to handle finding you a new place to stay since she flew home yesterday to be at her son’s-“
“School holiday show.” Dieter mumbled, covering his eyes and scrubbing his hand back over his forehead and into his hair. Fuck, I knew that. “Yeah, that’s right, she told me.”
It had come up a few times as the press tour was winding down, the woman clearly looking forward to being able to be there for her kid’s performance. Though that kind of life was about as far from his own as he could imagine, Dieter admired the way that Cori prioritized being present for her kids as much as possible. He knew that being with her family made her happy, so he was glad that that’s where she was. But wait…
“Hang on.” Dieter propped himself up on one elbow. “I didn’t know Cori had anyone working for her.” She’d been his assistant for over ten years, and he never once heard her mention the name Ivy. Not that she wouldn’t need help. I’m not always the easiest.
She let out a silver-bell laugh, the sound high and tingling. “Well that’s because I’m good at what I do, and so is Cori. Usually I get to stay behind the scenes, but this was a-”
“A clusterfuck?” Dieter supplied, slumping back down again.
“I was going to say a special case.” She laughed again. “Trust me, I’ve seen fuckier clusters.”
He wasn’t sure if that was supposed to make him feel better or not, nor was he sure if it actually did. Switching the phone to speaker and laying it on his chest, he crossed both arms over his eyes. “Does that mean you have a backup place for me?” He crossed his fingers as he waited for her response.
“It does, Mr. Bravo, I-”
“You can just call me Dieter, Ivy. Actually, please just call me Dieter. And-” Her words clicked then, and he bolted up to both elbows, sending his phone sliding down to his stomach. “Wait, did you say yes?”
“I did,” Ivy confirmed. Fuck yeah! “But it’s a little unconventional.”
Dieter sat all the way up, reaching for his phone before it could fall between his legs and down to the floor. Lifting it level with his mouth, he cocked his head to the side. “What does that mean?”
Ivy cleared her throat. “It’s not a hotel, per say.” Okay… “More like a high end, exclusive bed and breakfast. And technically it’s just outside the city.”
Dieter grimaced, clunking the edge of his phone to his forehead. A bed and breakfast? Like�� With other people? And shared common rooms and… He considered his other option - flying back to L.A. and going home to his empty house - and the grimace deepened. “How exclusive is exclusive?”
“Pretty private. The place is an old Victorian mansion. It accommodates guests in four suites, but I was told that only one other room is booked at the moment.”
He sighed, bringing his phone back down to his lips. I guess this is the best I can hope for. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Ivy questioned. “Does that mean I should go ahead and call them?”
Dieter dropped his phone into the fluffy bedding beside him. “Yes. Please.” He stood, rubbing at one eye. “And can you also call me a car? I don’t-”
“Of course,” she answered. “Consider it done.”
“Great.” It was far from great, but it would have to do. “I really appreciate it, Ivy.” That part was 100% true.
“My pleasure! I’ll go ahead and communicate with the Savoy staff, too, that way everyone is on the same page. Oh, and I’ll update Cori, of course.”
“Perfect.” Again, it wasn’t. Perfect was the thread count of the sheets he was leaving behind. Perfect was the five-star service he wouldn’t be receiving. Perfect was the way the champagne chiller always had ice in it and the towels were always warm and fluffy. But it beats the shit out of going home. “Thank you.”
“Of course. Hopefully you won’t need me again, so I’ll wish you a Merry Christmas now.”
“Um, yeah.” Dieter sniffed. “Yeah, Merry Christmas. I’ll uh…” He raised his arms and then dropped them to his sides. “I’ll try not to offend the other guest with my presence so I won’t have to bother you again.”
“Never a bother, Dieter. I’m always happy to help when you need it.”
With that, she ended the call, and Dieter was left to gather his things and wait for the car to come pick him up and bring him to the secret, backup, break-in-case-of-clusterfuck location that Ivy had procured for him.
Looking up at the place once he arrived and got out of the car, Dieter really wished he’d asked her a few more questions before telling her to make the call.
Snowflakes fell slowly through the air as he stood there in his pajama pants with his thick, plush brown fleece pulled over his robe and his bag slung over his shoulder, staring at the sign affixed to the side of the building. “The Yule Lodge”, he read aloud, rolling his eyes at the stylized flame surrounding the name of the B&B, an obvious play on words. “Shit, that’s cheesy.”
The building itself looked as though it only existed at Christmastime - the cornices catching the fresh snow in picture perfect banks, the candles illuminating the windows like something off a holiday card, garlands of greenery wrapped around the porch railing and draped over the doorway. So if any place was going to have a name that stunk of cheddar, he figured this was the one. I mean… He tilted his head to take the sight in. It’s festive as fuck, that’s for sure.
Not that that part mattered. He still planned to spend the next few days sprawled out like a starfish in bed, waiting out the holiday. Even if it means doing it here.
He turned to wave a thanks to the driver who had dropped him off, only to find that the car was gone. Huh? That’s weird, I didn’t hear the tires… He shrugged. Whatever. He’d already had one of the snowflake cookies before the whole Mark Atlas shitstorm started, so he chalked missing the car driving away up to that kicking in and giving him tunnel vision for the building’s campy signage.
With a sigh that turned into a visible white puff in the chilly air, Dieter climbed the two small steps and reached for the door handle. Alright. Here we go. Combing one hand through his hair, he shook the snow from his curls, stepped inside, and looked around. Oh, holy shit.
The B&B’s cheery exterior had nothing on the inside.
Wreaths, garlands, and sprigs of greenery adorned walls, windows, railings and the carved, wooden mantel of a roaring fireplace that spread a warm, golden glow throughout the whole space. Deep red velvet ribbons added lush pops of color, as did the gilded candlesticks atop the mantel. A bowl of clove-studded oranges sat as the centerpiece of the coffee table in front of the fire, and the smell of spice and citrus wafted through the air to fully warm his senses.
To top it all off, a towering spruce tree stood in the corner of the room, lit by dozens of lights that were made to look like candles. Bows and baubles dressed the evergreen’s branches to elegant but cozy perfection. In a way, it was difficult to imagine what the room would look like - or feel like - without all the holiday decorations.
He may have been trying to avoid acknowledging Christmas as much as possible, but Dieter couldn’t help but admit that the staff there had outdone themselves. It was fucking beautiful. If you’re into that kinda thing.
“Welcome to the Yule Lodge, Mr. Bravo.”
Suddenly, a voice greeted him from somewhere to his left, making him jump and turn towards the sound. What? Who said tha- Oh. He’d been too distracted by the elaborate decorations to realize that he’d walked straight past the front desk and the smiling woman standing behind it. Right. I need to check in.
Clearing his throat, he crossed the room to stand in front of the desk. “Um, thanks-” He glanced down at the golden nameplate that was pinned to the woman’s green cardigan. “-Laurel.” He adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder and leaned on the counter. “I guess you spoke with Ivy?”
Laurel nodded, her curls bouncing. “I did. We’ve got you all set in room two until the 26th.”
“Great.” He flashed her a smile. “Do you need a credit card now, or do I just pay when I check out, or-”
Laurel’s curls swung as she shook her head. “No need for that right now, Mr. Bravo.”
At check out, then. “Okay.” He tapped the countertop with his fingertips. “In that case, can I get the room key? I’m about ready to-”
“Of course!” Laurel spun around to grab a key from one of four hooks, one of which was empty. Guess that means the other guest is already checked in. She spun back, key in hand, but stopped short of passing it to Dieter. “I just need to go over a few things with you about the Lodge first.”
Dieter felt his shoulders slump. I’m being punished. I just want to get stoned and sleep and I’m being fucking punished. “Uh…Okay.” He sighed. “What, um… What do I need to know?”
Laurel launched into a run down of the Yule Lodge’s rules and amenities. Fully stocked kitchen and bar, chef-prepared meals for breakfast and dinner, fireplaces in the parlor, library and… something to do with the candles in the windows? She was saying something about a small holly wreath while holding it up with his key when Dieter’s attention was stolen completely by the creak of the stairs just visible beyond the parlor, and the stunning woman who was descending them - you.
Huh. He blinked, watching the way your hand slid down the railing as you took the last few steps. Maybe it won’t be all bad, staying here. You looked up then, making quick, unintentional eye contact, and Dieter felt himself grin at the way your eyes widened when they met his, your mouth falling open in slight shock. Your tongue darted out to lick at your lips, and then you quickly slipped into another room. The library, maybe?
But just when he had convinced himself to go throw his stuff upstairs and then come back down to see if you were still there - and maybe ask if you wanted to have a drink with him - he saw you slip back up the stairs with a book in hand, and his grin fell into a frown. Oh, well. Guess I’ll stick to the plan.
By then, thankfully, Laurel was finished with her spiel, and she finally handed over the key, along with the small holly wreath. “Enjoy your stay, Mr. Bravo. I hope it’s exactly what you need it to be.”
I have no idea what that means but… “Thanks.” He smiled, nodding as he took the key from her. “Have a good night, Laurel.”
With that, he headed upstairs to his room, where he promptly tossed the key and the little wreath onto the dresser, shucked his coat off, and collapsed into the bed with a groan. It wasn’t the plush, pillowy cloud bed he was supposed to be sleeping in, but for the next few days it would do just fine. And who knows? Your face popped into his head. Maybe I won’t spend the whole time holed up in here after all.
– – –
You weren’t supposed to be here.
And I’m not even sure I understand why or how I am but…
You rolled over in the big, soft bed and gazed out the window as flurries fell outside. The picturesque grounds were covered in a thin white blanket of fresh snow, and the glow from the lamppost along with the flicker of the candle on the windowsill threw golden halos of light against the darkness in a way that warmed you through.
I’m really glad that I am.
Traveling solo was somewhat out of character for you. Doing it at Christmas - and missing your family’s annual holiday party - made that even more true. Add in the last minute nature of the trip, and it was no wonder that your parents and siblings (and probably your nosey aunt and cousins, too) were having a hard time accepting your decision to spend Christmas abroad by yourself. It simply wasn’t like you.
Which was, of course, the whole point. You wanted a change, had been looking for a way to shake things up. It wasn’t that you were unhappy with anything in your life. You had a job that you enjoyed and that paid you well, owned a house that you had turned into a home, and had a close group of friends who you knew would be there for you no matter what. But what you wanted, or maybe what you needed, was a little adventure. A measured dose of the unknown. A play from out of left field.
Because even though you were happy with the things that you had, there was a part of you that felt like you only had most of those things because you followed some predetermined script for your life. Graduate from a good school, get a respectable job, buy and maintain a home… It was all good stuff, and you took none of it for granted. But sometimes it felt a little too similar to the board game version of Life, spinning the wheel and plopping your little plastic car along the path, collecting socially acceptable experiences along the way.
Even the last few vacations you took weren’t really vacations. You’d had to travel for three separate destination weddings in the last year and a half. And then there was the trip your grandma surprised the whole family with, which was extremely nice, but was also extremely mandatory. So not only did you not get to choose the when or where of your last four trips, you didn’t have much say in the what to do part, either.
You deserved to do something unexpected and just for you. So when you got the unexpected news that you’d won an all expense paid trip to London to spend Christmas in a quaint, Victorian-style B&B, you chose to act on it.
I don’t even remember entering the contest, but… You glanced around the room and ran your hands over the quilted comforter. But I’m here. It’s real. So I must have.
You thought back to the voicemail you’d received a few weeks prior, and how you almost deleted it without calling back to follow up. It seemed like a scam. And even if it wasn’t, you were sure that there was no way it could actually be free. You figured it had to do with a timeshare or some marketing promo where you could win a free trip after spending a crazy amount of money on rental cars or luggage. But a curious little voice from the back of your brain piped up and told you to at least Google the phone number first.
And when you did that, and it didn’t link you to numerous Reddit posts about scam callers or direct you to a clearly phony website, but instead brought you to a completely legitimate page hosted by the site where you had booked your most recent flight for your friend’s wedding in Puerto Vallarta, displaying your name and stating that all you had to do was call to claim your prize, you allowed yourself to possibly entertain the notion that maybe it wasn’t too good to be true.
You were still cautiously skeptical when you pressed call and waited while the phone rang, still expecting there to be a catch somewhere. You also expected the number you dialed would be an automated one, and that you would just be pressing buttons when prompted to complete the process. So it was a surprise to you when a very human voice greeted you after the second ring.
“Thank you for calling Spirit Travel!” The woman on the other end spoke in a bright, cheerful tone as she introduced herself and then said your name, making sure she was speaking with the correct person. You were so taken aback by the fact that you were wrong about it being a recording that you completely missed her name, but you caught back up in time to confirm that you were in fact you.
“I, um… I’m a little confused, to be honest,” you immediately confessed, shrugging as though she could see the lift of your shoulders through the phone. Shaking your head, you went on. “I don’t think I entered any contests, and I definitely don’t think I’ve ever heard of the-” You double checked the name of the place that the website had listed as your prize. “The Yule Lodge? Is it like a Christmas themed hotel or something?”
The woman let out a small, jingling laugh. “You could say that. Christmastime is when the Lodge is at its best, that’s for sure.” That didn’t quite answer your question, but she continued. “And it’s a very small, boutique-y little place. Doesn’t draw a ton of tourist attention, so I’m not surprised that you haven’t heard of it. But I assure you it is absolutely lovely.”
“Oh…kay.” You stared at your laptop screen, narrowing your eyes suspiciously at the scrolling congratulations banner. “I still don’t remember entering a contest, though.”
“Oh, that part!” You heard what sounded like keystrokes from her end of the call, and figured that she was pulling up some information on a computer. “Yup, mmhmm. It’s right here.” Before you could ask her what was right where, she filled you in. “I’m emailing a screenshot of it to you right now so you can see it, too, but when you booked your trip to Mexico in September, you checked a box entering you in Spirit Travel sponsored giveaways. It’s all perfectly legitimate, I promise!”
A few seconds later you received her email, opening it and seeing for yourself that you had in fact checked that box. Hm. Must’ve been a mistake. I usually opt out of that crap. You shrugged. But maybe I’ll stop doing that now. Finally sufficiently happy with the proof that the trip was real and that it wasn’t a hoax, you cleared your throat. “Okay, so it’s… It’s really free? Airfare, the hotel, all of it?”
“Well, just to be clear, the Yule Lodge isn’t a hotel, per say. More like a very exclusive, high end bed and breakfast.”
Sure. Semantics, whatever. “Okay, fine. Airfare, the B&B? That’s all free?”
“Yup! We’ll even arrange a car to pick you up from the airport and drive you to the Lodge. All you have to do is say yes and then show up for your flight.” She paused. “So is that a yes?”
You chewed your bottom lip, going back and forth in a span of a few seconds. What will everyone think when I’m not there on Christmas? What will my friends say when I tell them? They’ll probably think I’m nuts or something. But then that same voice that told you to call about the trip spoke up again. Who cares? It asked. Do it for yourself. And that was all it took to answer.
“It’s a yes,” you said, excitement making you sound a little giddy. I can’t believe it, but… “Yeah, I’m in.”
She went over a few more details with you regarding dates - December 23rd to the 26th - and flight times, and then let you know that if you had any more questions you could always call her back and she’d happily answer them.
“Thank you, really, this is… I really needed this, so thanks-” You realized you never got her name after missing it initially. “I’m so sorry, what was your name again?”
“Oh, no need to apologize,” she assured you. “I get it, you were excited. Happens all the time.” She chuckled. “But my name is Ivy.”
“Well, thank you, Ivy. You’re pretty much my favorite person right now.”
She laughed again. “I’ll take it! Listen, like I said, you can call me if you have any other questions about the trip. But otherwise, in case we don’t talk again, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas.”
“You, too! I hope you get a surprise this good in your stocking this year.”
“Oh,” she said in a wistful way that actually didn’t sound like a customer service put-on, “For me, making other people’s holidays special is the real gift.”
With that, she signed off, and you were left with the task of telling everyone you knew that you were pitching them all a holiday curveball.
They’d responded similarly to how you thought they would. But by the time you had checked in to the Yule Lodge, met Laurel, the exceptionally festive and cheerful hostess who had given you the quirkiest run-down on a hotel you’d ever gotten (including a somewhat campy but cute enough folklore-inspired instruction to place the small holly wreath she’d given you at check in around your door knob to “keep out unwanted spirits” on Christmas Eve) and settled into your room, it was far too late to worry about all of that.
All you were concerned with for the next few days was which fireplace you’d be spending the most amount of time reading near, whether or not you felt like strolling the snow covered grounds in the morning, and possibly chatting with the other guest that Laurel had mentioned would be checking in shortly after you’d arrived. Or maybe not. Who knows, maybe they’ll want to be left alone. Either way, you were looking forward to a few days of answering to no one but yourself. And if it came with a heaping helping of authentic Christmas cheer? Even better.
Deciding not to wait until morning to venture downstairs and into the library to choose your first of hopefully many books for the duration, you popped up from your bed and headed for the door, smiling to yourself as you made sure that the holly wreath was securely around the knob. Don’t want any bad spirits messing around in my room. About halfway down the stairs, you heard voices and realized that Laurel was giving her welcome speech to the other guest. Oh, guess they’re here. You peeked through the hall and into the parlor, hoping to catch a glimpse of the person you’d be sharing the common areas of the Lodge with. But as was becoming a theme for this trip and everything connected to it, you were floored to find Academy Award winning actor Dieter Bravo looking right at you.
Holy shit. You felt your eyes go about as round as the baubles hanging from the giant spruce tree, your mouth dropping open as your heart thundered in your chest. Holy shit, holy shit that’s Dieter Bravo. Oh my god. No, it’s not. It can’t be, right? You blinked and he was still there and still definitely Dieter Bravo and - wait is he..? Yup. He was grinning at you. Oh, fuck.
You scurried down the last few stairs and disappeared into the library, repeating those two words over in your head in a series of tones ranging from disbelief and shock to disbelief and excitement, with a twinge of nerves because Oh, fuck, what am I supposed to say to Dieter Bravo? Your face flushed making you warmer than the fireplace on the other side of the room. There was plenty that you’d thought about saying to him, your imagination running a little wild at times when you saw interviews or red carpet photos of him, or when you saw his performances on screen and he made you fall in love with his characters time and time again. But all of those thoughts had occurred while you were under the realistic assumption that you would never actually get to say any of it to him.
But now he was sleeping just down the hall from you.
Blindly grabbing the first book your fingers found, you scurried back up the stairs and into the sanctuary of your room before you ran the risk of running into him on the way. Choosing a book was a fine enough thing not to put off until morning. Figuring out what to say to a celebrity that you had an innocent but huge crush on was something that definitely required you to sleep on it. Flopping back into your bed a little breathlessly, you had to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
I did say I needed an adventure.
Glancing down to see what book you’d grabbed, you read the title and laughed again. A Christmas Carol. Of course. What else would it be in this place?
It took a while, but eventually you were able to calm your brain - and heartbeat - enough to sink into the story and let thoughts about how on earth you were going to interact with Dieter slide to the backburner, and eventually, you drifted off to sleep.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Laurel was making one last phone call before closing up and heading home for the evening.
“Ivy?” She tapped her fingernails on the desk and grinned. “They’re both here. Just where they need to be this Christmas.”
“Good,” the other woman said. “Now the rest is up to them.”
– – –
Dieter tags: @something-tofightfor @littlemisspascal @tentacruels @alraedesigns @practicalghost
@trickstersp8 @imtryingmybeskar @mswarriorbabe80 @theredwritingwitch @silverstarsandsuns
@pedro-pedrito-pascalito @jedi-in-crocs @chiyo13 @myloveistoolittle @noisynightmarepoetry
@haylzcyon @jessthebaker @pedrostories @covetyou
#pedrostoriesgift24#pedrostories#the yule lodge#dieter bravo x female reader#dieter bravo x you#dieter bravo x f!reader#dieter bravo fic#dieter bravo christmas story#pedro pascal character#this one ran away from me#but it's dieter so i allowed it to happen#merry christmas and happy holidays and joyful yule to everyone!
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Hetalia X Alien Stage
Round 5
#hetalia#aph france#Francis Bonnefoy#aph belarus#aph taiwan#hws#BelaTai#Hetalia x Alien Stage AU#holy shit yall can't you believe i did this in a span of like three days??? The thirst of seeing sociopathic Francis Bonnefoy is like drug#to me#ANYWAY GO WATCH ALIEN STAGE BY VIVINOS AND QMENG IT SO GOOD#this is so fun actually ended up practicing framing and colour for vibes!! i might do more this kind of screen redraw thing#Especially final round#Arthur as Till and Fran as Luka for the absolute Toxic Yaoi#Love Arthur as sad loser puppy heheh#so if ur wondering why i pick Taiwan and Belarus as Mizi and Sua when nyotalia cast def would be better suited for it#i just wanna challenge myself plus Fem Heta character is just too underrated so why not#im imagining the Alien Stage AU as if its a movie/Musical and they're actors lol#kopifuran
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saw some lego dinosaurs today :3
#australia adventure#i also watched the jurassic world movie for the first time AFTER going to the exhibit#it feels like it Could have been a good movie but the writing is so sexist and i spent too much time yelling EVACUATE THE GUESTS OH MY GOD#chris pratt sucks but they should've made him a horse girl for dinosaurs. that would've fixed it a bit#claire as a character is done so horribly dirty like. she's extremely competent and professional#but the entire narrative is like... portraying her as in the wrong for... being professional? for not being maternal enough?#what kind of moral is 'omggg u just need to let loose' in a movie where a SUPERMURDER DINOSAUR IS OUT OF ITS ENCLOSURE#SHE SHOULD'VE STUCK TO PROTOCOL AND EVACUATED THE PARK IMMEDIATELY!!!!!! AHHH#justice for claire jurassicworld 2024#literally every character is telling her that whatever she's doing is wrong and bad#it's excruciating to watch. anyway#indominus rex just feels like wasted potential. like it's scary for a little but it just looks like a slightly wonky t rex#should've done the thing where you barely see it and it keeps outsmarting everyone in fun and clever ways#i also personally. think they should lean into the tragedy of creating the most perfect predator but it cannot exist on this earth#i feel like there should be a sorrow and grief in having to kill a magnificent beast#like titanic or something. idk. like as a dinosaur kid im like. i like Cool Creature. in my heart im siding with cool creature#it wants enrichment. give it a meat pumpkin#would've loved to watch a defunctland style video about the theme park
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Her hand clap together, a toothy-smile on full display. She's never inauthentic, despite what some might think, and her reaction is genuine. Anna wants to bring him home to her family - not as a prize she's won, or proof she's picking a good guy for once. But because of this new feeling, warm and safe, that bubbles up around him. "I'm so excited." She gushes. Lifting a brow, she considers lying, before ultimately giving in. "We are, but don't worry. I'm a master at it. I'll carry the team. Be your star player." As if she's built anything like the men on his roster.
"Oh my God, yes." Anna affirms. "Every year I watch my dad and brother try to do it, and it knocks a year off my life." Not the most coordinated, despite their good figures. The offer is Aiden's way, Anna recognizes. It's grounded, supportive, and made with all the best intentions. Just like everything else about him, it's the moon and the stars. Blinking, Anna simpers. It's perfect, pulled straight out of a Halmark movie without being too performative in its quaint nature. "Do you come here often?" She can see it, the type of understated getaway that Aiden would go to. The exact opposite of a celebrity hotspot that her exes frequented.
"Nowhere else I'd rather be." Tauntingly, she lightly elbows his ribs. "Tonight, anyway." Taking his cue, she opens her door as soon as they park. "Cocoa, come to think of it. Marshmallows and whipped cream." Anna never subscribed to the bland diets of other models. She'll have her fun, and adjust as needed. Whatever guilt her agent may lay on is foregone, as she makes a beeline with Aiden towards the shop. "We leave on the 23rd." She informs, waiting in the queue beside Aiden. Peering back, she adds; "I'll call. Have them make up the guest room." Another way of saying, Anna expects it to be modest and chaste. Whether it's for Aiden's benefit or hers, she's uncertain.
He hums back at her declaration. Something tells him that it’d be difficult to drag down Anna Ricci and her spirit, period. Even now, just sitting here and driving together through the icy roads, she shines like the summer sun, bright and relentless and warm. That’s probably why, despite how uneasy he feels — more a product of his self-doubt than anything else — he can’t fight back how drawn in he is.
“Uhm… Yeah.” C’mon, Aiden. More enthusiasm. He clears his throat. “Yes. I’d… I’d be cool with joining you.” And although he pulls no clear faces here, it’s like the wind has been knocked out of his lungs. Like, yeah, he’s intrigued, but he also doesn’t know what to expect, and she may have said otherwise, but he still wonders if— “Y’all aren’t a charades family, are you?” It’s not judgment; she mentions ‘games’ and he remembers that he’s a fucking embarrassment when it comes to miming things out. Another way in which they stand at opposite ends, how the only thing he can convincingly act as is dead. Still, he tries. “I can help with lights.” His brow furrows. He only means to play to his positive traits. “I mean… I’m handy. I can help with the… If they decorate, and… Yeah.”
He could melt into his seat right then and there. Thankfully, he sees different kinds of lights up ahead: a modest block of buildings sitting comfortably at the side of the road. A gas station sits at one end, then some shops, then place he’d originally been thinking of. It looks cozy, even from afar, with its hand-painted signs and the large windows whose frost frame the quaint interior. He signals, then maneuvers into the parking lot just beside it all.
“Tea, then. Or cocoa?” Either way, “Don’t want you launching into the air and flying out to New York right now.”
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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#THE SQUIRMING IMAGE#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
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chat htey fuckin jumpscared me while im trying to do my assignment
#this isnt xmen related but it can be if i try#i think enjoying james mcavoy comes with the territory of being a cherik enjoyer vjaeLKe thems just the strokes i dont make the rules#snap chats#'snap i thought you were sleeping' i was lying but it wasnt in bed i fear fjaELKEJ#no my prof has our assignments due at 8AM so i do them the night before WHATEVER its just reading news articles#and they put this ad at the bottom and i was term searching and i got jumpscared when the page jumped right to it#i saw the movie opening night and it was. the goofiest thing. the movie partially but My Night Mostly#cause at the beginning of the week i told my ma i was going to see it and she- trying to be a mother for the first time- was like#'oh we should watch it together :)' but as the time approaches she's like 'i mean do we HAAVE to watch it horror's traumatizing....'#im so glad i didnt go with my mom i know she woulda soured the whole thing for me she hates me and everything i love#like miss ma'am go AWAY i just went with my brother and the theater was virtually empty so we kept crackin jokes jvlkeakj#I STILL GENUINELY ENJOYED THE MOVIE THOUGH i should watch the og sometime but this was a good watch .... a fun one even...#this movie solidified the fact i love it when james plays- as he says- 'devilish' characters it is ACTUALLY primo to my life#so funny cause my bro and i still crack jokes about and reference it i didnt think he'd care bout it after we left but vjlkjlkja#ok im goig to bed for real now im tired and i wanna get up early to do work BYE
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BNHA Ch. 429
So, I guess Toga is dead, and people are losing it.
I get why people liked her--she was actually queer, being pan/bisexual. She was representation for them and that's rare in shonen manga. But here's the thing--she was bad representation at best and insulting at worst. Nor do I think she was made queer because Hori really wanted to represent a queer girl. Himiko was always the author's poorly hidden fetish--she just was. She liked girls as much as boys because Hori wanted to draw a girl touching sexually on another girl. You can see this in how he draws her and Ochako in solo pics together.
I mean, people seem to understand this when it comes to Momo and her outfit being overly sexual or that both Himiko and Hagakure's Quirks either leave them naked or they have to be naked to use them. These are excuses to draw girls in a sexual manner. Himiko being into other girls is the same thing and that's the kindest interpretation.
Given how Himiko acts and her Quirk being heavily coded sexual desire, and therefore her use of it against someone unwilling being sexual assault, it could just being playing into harmful stereotypes of predatory gays.
As a queer person myself I just found Toga insulting. She was designed to be overly sexual and give the male author a female character that he could draw being suggestive with his other female characters. When he did flesh out her character, her backstory was eventually the trope/fear of straight people, that gay people will be so overcome with their lust that they end up sexually assaulting them.
In the end Ochako accepts this part of Toga and says she'll giver her blood forever, but as much as a lot of readers took that that as some deep lesbian confession, for me it really fell flat. Hori never really gave any of the main kids time to actually learn about their villain or show how that changed their minds toward them. Shoto only works because Touya is his brother (even though he admits he barely remembers him). But Ochako goes from not thinking of Toga at all pre-first war, to one thought about her during her speech, to suddenly caring about her so much she--given how Toga's quirk is coded, is willing to essentially fulfill Toga's kink for the rest of their lives.
It's weird and it comes out of nowhere. It's made even stranger because Toga doesn't actually change or show remorse for anything she did, which included personally hunting and murdering people before she joined the LOV. None of the death and destruction she is also partially responsible for is brought up either, something that Ochako was rightfully upset about during the first war when less people and property had been destroyed. Ochako just accepts everything about her suddenly and her past serious crimes are forgotten so they can cuddle and cry.
Am I shocked Toga died--a little. I didn't think Hori would have the guts to kill off a young girl character, especially one that he clearly got a lot of joy drawing in sexy poses. But at the same time, once he killed off Shigaraki and ended Touya's story with his slow death, I'm not surprised he went the same route with Toga.
This isn't Naruto--Hori isn't really kind to characters that do something wrong, especially if they don't try and change. Enji, Bakugo, Hawks, and Aoyama all sort of got punished for what they did. Enji is the worst off, being permanently crippled, missing an arm and burned everywhere. Bakugo's hand is damaged, his heart weaker, plus he feels bad that Izuku lost his Quirk so they can't compete the same way he wanted them to. Aoyama, despite doing way less wrong and even helping his class during the forest raid, still leaves school because he doesn't feel he earned being there yet. Hawks lost his Quirk and even though him running the HPSC could be seen as good for him, Hawks always wanted a break, but now he has one of the most time consuming and stressful jobs out there.
So, if this is what characters who actively did good things and even changed and fought to be better get, what would characters who never changed and never did anything positive for anyone but their friends/themselves get?
Before the last Arc started, when so many people said the LoV were 100% going to be redeemed I had doubts and always thought it wouldn't make sense with how the story presented redemption or treated other non-LoV villains in the past. That if the main LoV did get some happy ending where they were bffs with the main cast it would clash with how other characters had been treated.
That doesn't mean that I think how Shigaraki, Toga, and Touya ended up in the manga was well done. I think their endings fit far better then a last minute redemption would have, but at the same time you can feel how rushed everything has been since the end of the first war arc. Hori was done with this story months if not years ago, yet he was contractually obligated to finish it. Because of that I think he left out as much as possible. As much as I think he's written some pretty obsessive stuff, particularly towards women, I can't really fully blame him cutting corners or the story being shit at the end.
We know Manga authors, particularly those that work with Jump are treated like shit. That they suffer incredibly long hours at times not even getting to go home for days. We've gotten messages for Hori saying he's sick quite a few times. On top of that, weekly story telling is not a great way to tell a cohesive narrative. Ideas probably change week to week or at least month to month and you can't go back and change the last chapter no matter how much you need or want to. Then you remember he also gave a lot of ideas to the people who made the movies, which would also change his plans for how he wanted the main story to go.
The story is bad--it has been for a while, but I think a lot of people put their hopes on their favorite characters getting a happy ending, even when there were signs that probably wasn't going to be the case. I know how much it sucks when a character you love gets a shitty ending (Stain was my fav, but he got an absolute dogshit ending) but at least, knowing what I know about the industry I can't really blame Hori the way I see some other people doing. Criticize it, sure, but saying Hori hates his readers or is horrible writer isn't true. BNHA was popular for a reason--he's great with characters and the beginning of the story had some great pacing. We'll never know, but I wouldn't be surprised if BNHA could have been amazing if Hori had been treated better and the story hadn't needed a chapter every week.
If anything BNHA has taught me how much a story suffers when authors/artists are treated like crap and forced to work past burnout.
#bnha 429#bnha spoilers#bnha critical#bnha#idk i just feel bad for the guy#i think he's sexist as shit#but no one deserves to work under such bad conditions#and frankly idk how any weekly story turns out any good#especially when its gone on for so many years#like when you think about it the chapters aren't even real full chapters#they're like half or even a quarter of a chapter that you'd find in a book or monthly manga#of course you're your going to have an incoherent story when you write like that#I mean the only other thing written like that are some fanfictions#and those authors can and often do go back and edit things#heck I've seen some that go on hiatus with the specific purpose of overhauling the entire backlog of chapters to make it a better overall#and I think part of why BNHA is perhaps worse then other weekly shonen is because he had a lot he wanted to say#on top of trying to find things that kept him invested in a story he clearly was tired of writing#I mean Lady Nagnat is great example#he watched a movie and thought the female assassin character was cool and it got him excited to draw/write#so he shoehorned in this character that was really only there because she made the story more fun for him to write and draw for a while#like American comics aren't great either when it comes to consistency or coherent plots sometimes#but I do wonder if BNHA might have been better if Hori could have left a story bible and basic outlines of what his plans were#and then someone else could have worked on it instead#because he really didn't seem very into by the end of the first war arc#like I think he wished that had been the end#but it wasn't and he was really tired and burned out#and probably already working on fumes
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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sorry im about to vent off topic :i s2g if they hint on handsome jack in the movie and it is NOT dameon clarke im gonna lose my marbles. I feel like when they look at the success of the characters as well the VAs do so much heavy lifting to giving life to these characters. why they didnt just use the VA for Claptrap from B3 is beyond me why did it need to be someone else so it doesnt even sound right - they def went for name recongition over matching the characters - kevin hart is so tiny hes such a small dude and roland is large and also if roland is alive wouldnt thta imply that jack's also alive. like handsome jack is so successful because of dameon. he gave so many off the cuff lines. and if they wnated to make a movie why would they not choose the tales gang if thats the one that gave them so much credit? sorry i have so many feelings and i, also so SICK of seeing tiny tina bein g used for literally every borderlands merch thing recently
I'm fine with actors putting their own spin on characters they play and seeing how their writing can be interpreted differently but with handsome jack it becomes really tricky cause like... dameon clarke MADE jack who he is. Like a lot of people credit him for how good of a character he is so whoever WOULD play jack would have a whole lot of expectations to match. We already hate the casting (which is 100% just to get attention instead of accurately portraying the characters) so imagine how much more we would hate it if they messed jack up
Overall the whole movie just adds to what I said about gbox being out of touch with the fandom. We got randy already claiming he wants to make a sequel when the whole fanbase has voiced concern and disinterest about the movie just based on the trailers and they're just really trying to force lilith and tina to be fan favorites when they're... not? Like I love them, especially lilith like that's my homegirl right there, but the fandom as a whole would disagree that they're even well-liked characters
#theres only one actor i think could possibly capture jacks essence aside from dameon clarke#and thats mr glenn howerton aka dude who played dennis in its always sunny#i havent even watched it but ive seen clips#and not only does he kinda look like jack ESPECIALLY his side profile but we know he can play unhinged men#LIKE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I GENUINELY THINK HED BE A GOOD FIT#but also i agree that jack black was a real poor fit for claptrap#he just sounds like a drunk guy at an office party doing bad cartoon impressions#anon#im gonna start tagging movie complaints in case anyone is sick of seeing negativity abt it and just wanna have fun with it#i get sick of it too SHFHG but a lot of the issues with the movie goes hand in hand with the issues with the games#aka randy being a greedy little poo#so i gotta complain a little bit 😔#blands movie discourse#<- feel free to block that tag ill love you regardless
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(//i don't normally do text but cw in the tags erm. i went a little off track)
#inanimate insanity#ii#ii lightbulb#daily lightbulb#scribbly bulb#god. ohh my god. im not doing so hot yall#once again i apologize for suddenly halting on posting; ive had a couple rough days recently and it's constantly crashed my motivation to#even QUEUE SCREENSHOTS. my mental health has been so messed up too and i just had to take a step back#for starters. happy birthday to my baby sister that was born yesterday. like legit. im a big sister now#it's hard getting used to it; i was never good with change#secondly; like in the 100 post i've gained a new fixation thats unfortunately pushed ii to the side#i have adhd and autism so its hard for me to keep up with such a daily routine that includes a media i may end up losing interest in#i LOVE lightbulb and i LOVE ii i just.....need a bit#thirdly; i actually havent seen inside out 2 yet. might end up watching it this week or next week though which will be fun#while waiting in the hospital inside out was playing on the room tv so i wanted to draw smth to get my thoughts out#inside out is one of my favorite. modern? disney movies. rlly means a lot to me.#sorry for ranting i shouldnt dump all my life problems on yall LMAO you just wanna see lb pics#anyways posting will try and resume! cant afford to slack off with ii 15 being so close#if anyone is reading this ty sm for liking my silly blog and i hope you have a good day/night#102
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the knuckles show feels like the sonic unleashed of the movie universe
#the human stuff takes up at least 50% of the show#probably more#but its still pretty good i think#the problem is just that its not what you would watch a knuckles show for#also yes i did like the show it was alot of fun#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie#sonic the hedgehog movie#knuckles#knuckles show#knuckles series
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Recent disney and pixar movies have felt like movies in the way that monster high movies feel like movies. And I don’t want anyone to see this and go “but at least monster high movies are good!” cuz, sure whatever I don’t care, just listen. What I’m saying is these recent disney movies are so forgettable and I don’t think it’s just because of the rise of streaming services fucking up how the films are marketed and viewed, they also feel unbelievably pointless. They feel like movies made around a plot that would be forced into a ten minute episode if it were a cartoon made by smaller creators rn. The plots are so simple I feel like a toddler like I feel like the stakes have gotten increasingly lower and everything is underwhelming. Toy story 4’s big conflict was woody needs to get the plastic spoon back to the little girl. Inside out 2 was the emotions needing to get back to headquarters while riley is just at hockey camp and they learn their lessons in five minutes. Encanto is just mirabelle talking to her family and then singing songs at her. Strange world was a very basic father/son relationship story with no real stakes. The main thing luca wants in luca is a vespa and the main thing mei wants in turning red is concert tickets. Not even gonna glance at wish or lightyear cuz like who watched those what are those movies even for. I can’t remember any of these movies and even the ones I liked are still underwhelming and I walked out of them trying to justify that to myself like “oh well not every movie has to have a crazy plot, sometimes they can be simple”. But it’s like. All their movies now. And the characters are uh, they’re okay in some of them I guess I dunno. And this isn’t even to say that the more beloved older disney movies never had simple plots cuz like look at Cinderella, half of that movie is just animals getting into shenanigans to fill time. But idk, it felt like people actually wanted to make that movie and put love and attention into it. Now these things are just disney pumping out vague emotions that might get them an award while coating everything with this “look at how much money we have” polish
#the klock keeps ticking#this isnt coherent at all im sooooo tired i havent slept good at all lately ughhh#i used monster high as an example but havent really made the comparison properly huh#basically mh movies are really just there to sell dolls and yeah sometimes the movies are fun#sometimes theyre about something cool even#but theyre also low quality made for tv movies that got pumped out a machine#and some of them are just really really bad#and even the ones that i like like friday night lights i mean its like core message is a pretty basic short thing about misogyny in sports#which is what youd expect from a low quality made for tv movie made to sell dolls#but disney is out here doing like the same writing in 2024 with their ungodly expensive animation#and its just like. seriously? this is seriously what you want?#to make shallow garbage with shiny paint a few times a year just so you can get more money and keep it up?#youre trash disney. utter fucking trash#this is brought to you by me watching inside out 2 for shits and feeling pretty much exactly how i expected to feel lol#i love how not gay riley is obsessed with a girl who is literally the Basic Cool Gay Love Interest#which is a whole other post honesty but its a drinking game for me at this point cuz thats the only gay character corporations know how to#write its just like. they are Cool and Nice and so so Cool and they literally never stop smiling for one second and they are Cool#and thats about it! and if you dont ship them with the quirky anxiety ridden gay youre an ungrateful faggot
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