#but like i understand why because it’s all stuff that’s still currently being researched so it’d be irresponsible to distribute it

[pollenallergie]

i have to present the research i conducted this summer to the entire department of natural sciences at my university (its a community college, but STILL!! that’s a lot of people!!), but like… i wish i could just present it to you guys (especially @heyndrix because i think they’d think it’s neat even tho it’s not in their realm of bio). like we could just hop on a zoom call and i could just show you all the cool shit i did and talk about why it’s important.. and i could show you all my little fish videos. like it’d just me by moots and me and @quirly talking about my fishies and watching videos of them (grace would be included, because like forever ago i emailed her pictures/videos of the fish i worked with and she actually responded??? and was like kinda maybe a lil hype about them??? and that really warmed my nerdy lil heart because no one, save for my colleagues and some of you lovelies, ever even tries to act like they care about my fishies!! but like they’re important!!! they’re tiny, but they’re a model organism for the evolution of reproductive behaviors!!! like literally the model organisms for how species evolve to get better at making more of themselves?? that’s so fucking cool to me!!!).

[atimelessheaven]

heyyy can i request for Kaitlyn Chen fic?(THERE ARE BARELY ANY ON THIS APP & I LOVE HER MAN) Specifically fluff maybe like after an argument and she sees me struggling with homework and stuff and helps me out but still being slightly mad , but all is good at the end like cuddling etc

Party Time? Study Time.

sorry again for how long this took to get out, i’ve been on vacation.

huge thank you to @yailtsv for the header, and phone call image! very thankful.

fluff ◡̈

Kaitlyn Chen x Reader!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

9:45 pm- on a friday night, i have an assignment due at 11:59. im currently sitting at my desk, wearing my cute little mini skirt, and low cut top. tears streaming down my face, attempting to finish this stupid research paper.

how did i get here? great question.

7:15 am- breakfast with my girlfriend, kaitlyn:

“so baby what are your plans for this weekend?” kaitlyn asked, while cutting my pancakes for me. princess treatment duh.

“we’ll later tonight i planned to go out with my friends to-“ i said trying to answer before kaitlyn cut in.

“did you finish your research paper?” she asked looking at me with this knowing look

“well no, but-“ i say trying to explain myself. “no. that’s an important grade. you know that. you can’t go out if you aren’t doing your assignments. especially an assignment that counts for 28% of your grade. baby that’s a terrible idea. it will tank your GPA.” kaitlyn says objecting to my nighttime plans.

“but baby, all of my friends are going out. i promised them i’d go too.” i say pouting “it’s just this one time.”

“no baby. if you wanted to go that bad you should’ve gotten your work done. you know better. besides if you’re fine with slacking off this “one time” on an important grade, how many times are you going to put off less important assignments in the future? you’re digging yourself in a hole.” kaitlyn responded sticking firm to her no. my pout not even phasing her.

“but i promised them!” i say getting frustrated at her persistent no. my voice slightly raising, with my attitude rising.

“don’t raise your voice at me” she deadpans. “you’re okay with your grades dropping? your goals slipping out of reach? the future you’ve worked so hard for leaving in an instant over some dumb party? you’re okay promising YOURSELF that? is that what i’m hearing?” kaitlyn really emphasizing the “yourself” making me freeze, and pout.

“fine” i say with attitude just wanting to end the conversation.

“i’m going to let the attitude slide for now, but it needs to stop. im getting tired of it. do you understand? i love you, i just want what’s best for you. you know that.” kaitlyn says leaning over to kiss my forehead. i just nod my head in silence.

8:57 pm- i’m at the bar, with friends, about three shots in:

I see i’m getting a call from kaitlyn, so i obviously answer excited to talk to my favorite girl.

“hi baby!” i say very over enthusiastic with my tipsy self.

“babe. why does your location say you’re at the bar? and why does it sound like you’re under the influence?” kaitlyn says sounding very frustrated.

“it says i’m at the bar? must be because i am.” i say sounding very proud of myself, unsure why she sounds so upset.

“oh, so you went out of your way to disobey what i asked you to do? is it that hard to just listen to me?”

“hmm?” i respond to her little rant, not being able to focus with the alcohol running through me.

“are you really that far gone? you don’t remember? or you can’t comprehend what i’m saying?” she pauses waiting for me to reply but when i start she cuts me off “you know what? just save it. i have an uber on the way to get you. it’s going to text you when they get there. i love you be careful.” she said before she hung up.

9:15 pm- i get the text from my uber and im headed home like kaitlyn wanted:

i step inside about ten minutes later and see kaitlyn looking oddly calm, sitting on the couch watching tv.

“hi babe” i say softly, not wanting to upset her, but also to let her know im acknowledging her presence.

“hi angel, i’m glad you’re home safe. your assignment is due in” she looks at her watch and thinks about it for just a second “about 2.5 hours. you might want to get started on it.” she said still looking at the tv, not even so much as glancing at you.

instead of responding i just walked into my room, sat down at my desk. not even bothering to change. i was determined to prove to her i could party, and stay on top of my studies, even if that wasn’t actually the original plan.

9:45 pm- im now here. crying over my computer. i can’t think straight. my head is hurting, nothing is making sense to me, im tired. to top it off, i can’t hear my girlfriend laughing at the show she’s watching, and it’s killing me. knowing she’s upset with me hurts, especially because it is my fault. i decided not to listen to her.

i hear footsteps towards the door, so i decide to look locked in. i don’t want her to know im crying.

“babe, i could hear you crying, stop pretending.” she immediately said as she walked in the door and took in the scene. me pretending to read an article on google, leaned over the computer, honestly pretending she isn’t there.

“angel. look at me.” she said gently, while turning my face. “what’s going on?”

as soon as she asked i just broke down crying again, even though i disappointed her, she was still making sure i was okay. i don’t know what i did to deserve her.

“i can’t do this paper” i said between sobs.

“why not? what part aren’t you understanding?” she asked in the most caring tone.

“all of it, i’m just tired, none of it is making sense. i can’t do it.”

after that, she helped me with my paper, not doing it for me, just helping. she said that even though it might not be the grade i could’ve got, it’s the one i deserved for thinking it wasn’t important.

11:48 pm- the assignment is submitted. finally.

about an hour into kaitlyn helping me, she took pitty and let me fall asleep against her, while she did the assignment for me. she’s a godsend.

i woke up to the feelings of being lifted, and carried

“shhh angel, go back to sleep, i’m just carrying you to your bed.” she said leaning down to kiss my cheek.

she set me down on my bed, laying next to me. my head immediately falling to her chest.

“i’m sorry” i mumbled into her chest half asleep.

“i know baby. next time just please listen to me. i hate being upset with you, but sometimes it’s unavoidable when you do something ive told you not to do. the only reason id ever tell you not to do something, is because it crosses a boundary, or it isn’t in your best interest. i just need you to trust me when i tell you no sometimes.” she said into the top of my head. making sure i know she’s not mad at me, and that she just wants me to trust her more when she tells me things.

i just nod my head.

“i love you baby, you know that right?” she said in a genuine questioning tone.

when i just nod my head, that wasn’t good enough for her. “i know you’re sleepy, but i need to hear you say it.”

“yes kait, i know you love me. i love you too. so much.” i said to her softly. snuggling further into her chest. her arms wrapped protectively around my waist.

“goodnight angel, i love you so much, get some sleep.” she said as i drifted off asleep, content in her arms.

[bidisasterevankinard]

I have loved you since we were eighteen

Bucktommy/T/ 2k

Buck has no way to be Tommy’s anyway. Why not break the last thread between them to stop hurting himself with those meetings? He nods to himself. The shorts fly into him with speed of lighting, sending a current of alcohol poisoning through his veins. He orders the song and then two more shots, drinking them just as fast. When his name is called out he gets on the stage, getting the long breath out. or, Buck and Tommy are childhood friends and Buck is tired of hiding his feelings. He uses the song to tell Tommy about his feelings

You can read under the cut

The very first time Evan Buckley saw Tommy Kinard was when they were fourteen. Tommy was playing basketball, when Buck helped his dad get all their stuff to the new house they bought in San-Diego.

The neighbor boy quickly attracted Buck with his height and athletic skills, and Buck’s heart missed a beat when Tommy jogged to him, offering his hand, name and to help with bags. Only four years later Buck will understand what it all meant. That his heart already chose Tommy to love him forever that very moment.

But for that moment it was just the start of the friendship. Incredible and amazing friendship, where for the first time since Maddie left Buck felt that he means something to the person. That he is loved. That he has someone to care about him not just when he had bad grades or hurt himself on purpose.

They were inseparable. Basically every 24/7 they were together. Evan and Tommy against the world. They were even each other's first kiss. Tommy asked Jessica Lee on the homecoming, when they were sixteen and was desperate to make sure he knew how to kiss.

Buck wasn’t even thinking of offering himself.

That kiss felt so so good. Made him feel like flying and, for the first time in his 16 years, free.

For a week he thought it was because it was his first kiss. But then Taylor Kelly, who was his homecoming date, kissed him during the slow dancing, and he knew. He liked to kiss boys and girls equally, but Tommy kissed better than Taylor. He was less demanding, slower. Buck liked it.

Whole night of researching and the next day he knew that he’s bi.

He didn’t know how to tell Tommy. He knew what crap Tommy’s father fed to the guy and even with Tommy’s refusal to be like him, Buck just didn’t know how to tell him.

He was sacred. He didn’t want to lose his best friend.

For a month he was silent. Dying inside, especially after Derek Hale asked him out and they started dating. He wanted to tell Tommy every day. But he stopped every time. He wasn’t brave enough.

Tommy found out two months after the homecoming. It was normal for them to come unannounced in each other's houses as if it’s yours.

Buck should have expected it really. But he was too busy kissing Derek to hear the door open.

He still doesn’t know who was more embarrassed about seeing Buck straddle Derek with clothes in a mess on their bodies. But at least he came out to his friend. Who hugged him and promised nothing changed between them. Buck didn’t analyze why it made him feel so bad that Tommy didn’t feel like it changed something between them.

He just thanked his friend and smacked his head when Tommy promised to kill Derek if he hurt him. Which was not needed, because a year later, Derek became one of the friendliest breakups in Buck's life. And they were just 17.

That’s when Buck started to see his attention always being on Tommy. His mood directly depends on the opportunity to spend time together. And how he hated Jessica for being such a good high school sweetheart lover for Tommy.

She was even ready to wait for him from the army, but Tommy told her not to. Buck really hated that he felt so happy and satisfied about it.

Buck wanted to tell Tommy how he loved him the moment he sent him off to his basic training, as he was the only person to do it. But he wasn’t brave enough again. Yet, he always came to be the one to touch him every time Tommy was coming back. Alive. Back home to Buck.

Even though San-Diego long ago stopped being his home as he left it for his traveling soon after Tommy. He was coming to Tommy. It was coming home.

Buck tried really hard to be too hopeful he actually came back to him, but his heart always missed a beat when Tommy hugged him so tight.

Four years later Tommy came back for good, but settled down in LA, ending the fire academy. A year later, he offered Buck to come and try too. Tommy felt like Buck would love this job.

He was right. Buck was ecstatic about being a firefighter. And finally in LA he felt like home. Tommy, and everyone, would never know it because he is back to being close to Tommy. His real home.

“I’m just saying, I’m still young and hot. I shouldn’t cry too long just because my first serious boyfriend broke up with me. So I’m going back in the date pool,” Tommy’s words take Buck back from his memory road.

Sal and Eddie nod with smirks, clink their beer bottles with Tommy’s.

“Finally, man, this one was never good enough for you anyway,” Sal shrugs and Eddie nods. “Right, Buck?”

Everyone looks at him now and Buck swallows, nodding, “y-yeah. He was too stupid and not hot enough.”

He uses his best patented fake smile sending it to Tommy and then sips his beer.

Those words get another memory out. Tommy and Buck are 18 and someone told them they looked like a cute couple. Buck still remembers Tommy’s disgusted face. It broke his heart. It must have been the reason he never told Tommy about his feelings. Not even when Tommy came out three years ago.

“Nuh, this one is too small,” Tommy says to Sal, who holds his phone, “I prefer my man big. I love to have something to hold onto.”

Eddie, Sal and Tommy laugh, and Buck fakes it too.

His heart breaks aging even thinking about seeing Tommy dating or just hooking up with someone else. He won’t survive seeing another Alex in the palace he wanted to be since he was fuckign eighteen.

“I need tequila,” he quickly gets up, as it seems scaring all three of his friends as they just and almost slipped their beers, “sorry.”

He needs more booze if he wants to get over their ‘we try to meet every month, but good if it happen every three’ meeting and talking about Tommy’s Grindr profile and that type of guys he wants to fuck.

“Two shots of tequila, please” he tells the bartender, turning to the stage where the woman with red hair sings about last changes and losing the person you love for good.

Yeah, Buck knows the feeling. He basically is no one for Tommy for years now. No matter how he tried to cling, the man put the wall between them. Like in those middle ages castles. Tommy is inside the castle and Buck was left out of fortresses and even thrown over the bridge over the moat. And the bridge is raised and can only be lowered from the inside.

Buck has no way to be Tommy’s anyway. Why not break the last thread between them to stop hurting himself with those meetings?

He nods to himself. The shorts fly into him with speed of lighting, sending a current of alcohol poisoning through his veins. He orders the song and then two more shots, drinking them just as fast.

When his name is called out he gets on the stage, getting the long breath out.

Well, there goes nothing

All three of his friends, who sit basically near the stage, applaud and scream the loudest, and Buck even sees Sal taking his phone out. Maybe the man would be kind enough to delete this particular embarrassing moment when Buck would hurt too much with inevitable rejection, heartbreak and completely ruined years of friendship. The man is not so heartless.

The song starts and Buck searches for electric blue eyes to which he will sing it.

I got a heart and I got a soul

Believe me, I will use them both

He puts the hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating too fast. He might not really survive this song if it will continue beating like that.

We made a start, be it a false one, I know

Baby, I don't want to feel alone

So kiss me where I lay down

Buck touches his lips, imaging Tommy kissing, closing his eyes for a second, letting himself live in the better word, before open them again and look at Tommy who swallows and crosses his hands over his chest,

My hands pressed to your cheeks

A long way from the playground

The moment of truth for which he is not ready for not even a little bit.

I have loved you since we were eighteen

Long before we both thought the same thing

To be loved and to be in love

All I can do is say that these arms were made for holdin' you, oh

I wanna love like you made me feel

When we were eighteen

Tommy doesn’t blink with a beer bottle half to his mouth. Sal gets it down for him.

We took a chance, God knows we've tried

Yet all along, I knew we'd be fine

So pour me a drink, oh, love

And let's split the night wide open

Tommy doesn’t move. Sal and Eddie play like they don’t know what is going on, not looking at him, as if trying to give them privacy. As if Buck’s doesn’t pour all his heart in the song in front of the whole bar.

Next part to the ending is even easy to sing. He just lyrics pour all his repression of a decade.

Buck jumps from the stage coming to sit near Tommy when the song is close to ending.

I have loved you since we were eighteen

Long before we both thought the same thing

To be loved and to be in love

And all I can do is say that these arms were made for holdin' you, oh

And I wanna love like you made me feel

When we were eighteen I wanna love like you made me feel

When we were eighteen<

He comes basically to bend down to be almost centimeters away from Tommy's face. Memorizing his face for the time he won’t be able to see it ever again.

I wanna love like you made me feel

When we were eighteen

Last lines are done, and Buck doesn’t dare to move or say anything. Tommy just stares at him till the girl comes to take the microphone from him. Buck gives it to her and then turns away from his friends, hiding his tears.

“I-I,” he swallows, his stutter as never is annoying, “I forgot I have the important stuff to do. Bye,” he grabs his jacket, throws his money on the table and runs away, happy to see the free taxi near the bar.

Taxist must see the tears running on his cheeks as they don't try to start the conversation.

When he’s at home, he barely closes the door before falling on his ass, crying in his knees.

Ten years. He was strong enough to keep it from himself for ten years. And now he should have been selfish and needy to break it all.

He doesn’t remember how he stopped to cry or fall asleep still near his door, but he wakes up to the sun getting into his eyes.

He masters powers to get into the shower and at least for a little bit feel like a new person, when he hears the knock.

He doesn’t want to answer. His head, neck and ass kill him, but the person knocks and knocks, so he has no other choice.

He is surprised to see who it is. He wasn't expecting to see him ever again. See him not on the job.

Tommy looks good as always. He must have had a good night's sleep.

“Tommy, h-hey,” Buck blushes, when he understands he answers the door only on his towel.

“Hey, can we talk?”

“Y-yeah of course,” he moves to let Tommy in. “Do you want something? Juice? Water?”

He runs to the kitchen with a need to do something.

“No, I’m not for long. I have a shift soon,” Tommy shakes his head. “Just didn't want to go without doing it first.”

That’s it. That’s the moment Tommy will tell him they can’t be friends anymore.

“D-doing w-what?”

Yeah, Buckley, you’re such a masochist

Tommy looks at him, getting closer, “this.” Buck feels the fingers on his jaw second before he feels the warm mouth on his.

God, it even is better than he ever could imagine. Not that he really believes it’s real. That’s why he doesn't open his eyes for a second long after the kiss is broken.

“What are you doing on Saturday?”

“S-saturday?”

“Yeah, saturday. Are you free?”

“Y-yeah. I am free.”

“Good,” Tommy smiles and then bites his lips looking him up and down, “because you weren't the only one in love since we were eighteen.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Tommy nods, kissing him again. “Fuck, no matter how I want to stay and get this towel off, I really need to go.”

The man goes to the door, opening it, but not going, just smiling at Buck, and that’s when Buck’s brain knows it’s the reality.

He quickly checks no one is out there, before smirking.

“Well, treat me right on Saturday and you won’t need to wait for the third day to see this again,” Buck lets the towel fall, memorizing Tommy’s moan. “Payback for your face when the person suggested we’re together years ago.”

“You're the devil, Evan buckley. Real devil.”

Buck shrugs.

“Yeah, I am. Yet, you still love me,” he smiles. “Go. The crosstown traffic is a nightmare. And be safe.”

Tommy nods.

The door behind Tommy is closed, yet Buck feels like they opened the new one. Better one.

The one that will make them happy and each other forever.

[kaydreamman]

Water and Fire: A Sam and Alice analysis

This will include spoilers as examples so if you're not caught up with the series, I advise you not to read it. (Future Kay says this was also written before season 2 but I just added stuff recently).

I want to put my own thoughts about Sam and Alice: individually and very shortly their relationship dynamic, what they must have had as problems (and generally what they are like as a dynamic) and my comparison of fire and water with their personalities and why. Its probably not new things, just my two cents.

This is lengthy so I'll put it under the read more cut.

So. Let's start with individual information:

Samama Khalid

Sam is a highly intelligent and empathetic man even judging from the magnus institute program for gifted kids spreadsheet. He was a child there but he still retains a few traits from those tests like his incredibly high empathy (98%), his inclination to trusting/doing what authority figures tell him to and people's pleaser tendencies from the Asch test.

He is very inquisitive and observant, two examples being his research into the Magnus Institute and how much he garnered even alone through observations before Celia ended up helping him and also that he always noticed Celia's avoidance and hiding things but he was just waiting for her to naturally say it until he had enough in tmagp 30 because of Celia’s resistance.

He is a burnout gifted kid. He is incredibly scared of disappointing his parents and why he did not tell them he is no longer at the law firm.

He wants people to understand him and not control him. He desperately seeks his own autonomy despite being a people pleaser at core so he is conflicting himself internally all the time. The Magnus Institute isn't only his trauma and curiosity but it's also the one time only he could do something only he'd be “qualified” for (not everyone gets admitted to such a program so in Sam's head this was a really big thing) and also the piece that will make him feel worthy. He wants to be seen as worthy and dependable but he ends up depending on others and things failing left and right. Even when he gets a job, it's all because of Alice and it's not something respectable he can please his parents with.

As for flaws as others said before, he is very tunnel visioned and stubborn, keeping the Magnus Institute thing going even with the doubts he was getting himself and with Alice trying at every turn to stop him. 

He usually avoids conflicts unless it's something that affects his freedom/autonomy like the talks with Alice about the Institute or about her deleting that one case file of his terminal.

A few things water is known to symbolize are going with the flow,rebirth, knowledge. Also its fluctuating waves.

Sam is a passive person most times when it isn't about his ambition, heavily leaning to pleasing people and often going with the flow of things. His incident from small made him encounter death but also he is trying to turn a new page in his life. He is very knowledgeable in subjects he knows and he has this thirst for knowledge. Like the water currents and waves, he can hold strong and be stubborn which makes him hard to go against.

Alice Dyer

Alice is also a highly empathetic character with an incredible emotional intelligence. Her sarcasm gets in the way of it for self regulation but she is very self aware and observant with others. She cares so much that she has to distance herself from people by using the sarcasm mentioned above, the mean jabs at people and overall pretending to not care. She is highly loyal and fierce, going to great lengths to save and help loved ones and even people that she isn't close to (literally checking up on Colin when no one else would, going to the ruins with Sam and book a taxi to stop him from his own mistakes and helping Gwen even when she didn't ask for it and relating to her, helping Gwen with the pc in ep 36 and Celia with her panic attack).

Despite not appearing to be the most dependable person in the OIAR, everyone depends on her one way or another. (the examples above + Luke and Lena depending on her through her being canonically the most productive employee and the only data processing person she doesn't fire in the “what if” timeline).

She is also the most reasonable sounding OIAR member because you can't tell me that anyone else would have ran away to save themselves in the Drowning Victim incident as fast as she did (she did eventually come back there but we don't talk about it).

She is overprotective and controlling because she saw her parents die (not directly said but heavily implied because come on.) and then had to go through all of that alone. 

She is also an extreme worrier down to getting anxious if she doesn't see someone asap like when Sam and Celia were out or in the what if timeline when she meets with Sam again after he got fired.

In season 2 we get to see that she also is very quick to anger when stressed and has the tendency to lash out at everyone, catching people in the crossfire (literally take about any scene in season 2 from 32-34)

Fire can symbolize passion and knowledge (being one of the most important things discovered in the beginning) and also protection because it can be used to defend yourself but at the end of the day, it's a destructive force and it can easily burn down everything around it and burn out in the process. Alice is a very passionate and bold person, knowing way more than she lets on and taking on a protector role by default. But because she is so assertive with protecting people, it ends up doing more bad than good sometimes. Not only that but her habit to lash out when stressed like in season 2 reminds me of a fire storm, taking everything down with it. She's also very self destructive.

Their relationship

I'll start strong and say that I totally think he broke up with her. Alice's inability to immediately break up with someone that caused harm to her brother cements that for me.

They never got along for a long period of time imo. They literally can't. Their dynamic is that they are people that will never leave each other's orbit but they are so different in approaches they repel each other like magnets do. They are a written tragedy because water and fire are opposite and they never work together. Water overpowers fire no matter how much the fire tries to keep going and the water can never stand alongside the fire.

Sam's curiosity and impulsivity must have been a huge problem and Alice's overprotective tendencies just made this worse. They were bound to crash and burn eventually. Especially since they haven't talked for ages. They may have started on good terms but at least from Sam's side there seems to be a bunch of hostility and internal disagreements with her way of being that he only addresses when he lashes out at her.

I would bet Sam changed more than Alice did because she is stuck in the past and also concerningly codependent with him.  

Uni Sam and Alice strike me as the people that really needed emotional support and got it for a short time and it was great and sweet until they got closer and closer. They work well enough as friends but as partners? They just spell destruction to me.

[nomsfaultau]

hi hello I am currently obsessed with shred your wings to make you ours, so if you want to go on a ramble session about that fic I am sitting attentively and cheering

OKay, so. Well disclaimer that I do not in any way think authors are required to be experts on the subjects they're writing like math physics astronomy whatever like we're not cinama sins in this household and the fear of incorrect facts should not hold people back from beautiful creativity. (personal petpeeve in writers circles)

however I'm autistic and love researching so this is ENRICHMENT FOR ME.

Biology

I cornered a paleontologist/ornithologist (Hereafter Dr. S) to try and get information about the evolutionary history of birds so that the fic would be more accurate. And you will have to forgive me if I am not understanding everything accurately, because that's not my biology specialty! And the convo was a week ago.

Specifically, I was trying to figure out the environmental conditions that could lead to the size of Elytrians we see (although it could very well be that Elytrians are human sized and Avians are just tiny!).

So, I asked about how climate impacts species sizes. Dr. S discussed how in a particular ice age, there was both mammal shrinkage and reptile enlargement in the same area, which is honestly fascinating! But no dice on birds temperature wise. Next I asked about oxygen content, since I know that it had an impact on insects at least, and figured the aerial aspect might be something? IDK again I'm not an ornithologist lmao. We had a fascinating conversation about not yet published findings about fossilized ostrich eggs (so sorry don't have a source). Essentially, there's holes in the eggs that allow for gas exchange with the yolk. So, hypothesis was that the oxygen content in the atmosphere would influence the size of the holes in the ostrich eggs! Except, uh, it kinda didn't. At which point Dr. S, who is QUITE the rambler, finally said that there isn't much crazy variation in bird sizes over evolutionary history (compared to dinosaurs and what not).

(Which threw out my next theory on legumes, because I know that was big for the explosion of diversity and size in mammals post (paper here since I'm just a silly tumblr guy and you should fact check stuff I say, unfortunately can't give the Dr. S source without doxxing myself (for the second time talking about Shred Your Wings) so- uh- homework time?)

At which point I was like aw :( maybe my bird hybrid people (already insanely speculative biology and absurd for earth's evolutionary history) are even less biologically feasible due to their size :(

....And then I looked up the largest bird in history. Maybe not that far outside of theoretical, actually! Remember kids, why waste time talking to a professional when you can just google that crap!

wait no I shouldn't promote that message to my followers I'm a bad influence

Anyyyway. Hehe. Um.

Other stuff I'm thinking about:

The reason they don't have feathers around their mouths is for hygiene.

Researching migration feeding and sleeping habits. Wait sick some birds can sleep half of their brain at a time while still flying?? Also a least part of my explanation for Avians having arms is to carry resources during oceanic migration, but there's also some studies about plummeting calorie requirements that's fascinating

Now the Eleonara's falcon also does migration but that would super duper get in the way of the plot/ending so I've decided to violate that. Because all this research is fun and all but the story comes first y'know?

I don't think Avian or Elytrian are species. Techno makes a comment about the falconiform language barrier, and so I believe the divide is actually along Orders. So, Avians being Passeriformes (most birds tbh, ravens, sparrows, robins, etc) and Elytrians are Falconiformes (falcons). Fairly recent common ancestor, potentially there's another group based on the other two idk.

Lastly. Their forward facing eyes T-T chat I'm cooked. Absolutely no reason for them to have forward facing eyes, ESPECIALLY for an aerial species! I tried to poke in the direction of maybe them evolving in a hella dense jungle like area that would require insanely good depth perception to navigate, but like. I mean parrots don't have it so like. Whah. And it's not even for a narrative reason so it's my cross to bear ig.

Culture

My next big world building question (that honestly is why progress has stalled) is what type of technological and cultural development these guys have.

(As a note the ideas of 'more advanced civilizations' get quick into things like colonialism or racism so I'm trying to avoid that quagmire and be conscious of my status as a sedentary agriculturalist).

Because Avians are migratory, I think that would have a big influence on things like, having agriculture, or certain types of technologies that are based on permanent settlements. But only partially, I picture them as having two homes, one north and one south, that they split between. Techno at least seems to be from a species that migrates solo, but I think other Avians do group migrations. Because part of it is instincts, magnetism, constellations, etc leading them back to specific breeding grounds, I imagine this has created a very funky kingdom/settlement arrangement, where things like borders and territory are REALLY hard to maintain what with everyone moving twice a year. Who knows? Imagine coming home after 6 months to figure out the neighbors razed your house before leaving to annex it. I'm imagining less of monarchy or democracy systems, and more like clans. Of course not all Avians migrate, which could lead to those stationary species having lots of trust/power due to taking care of everything while everyone else is gone....OR could be there are biannual wars as those groups take over while everyone is gone, take all their stuff, and then deal with hoards of angry Avians in a couple months time!

Trying to maintain a proper kingdom wouldn't work, because a large control mechanism is inhibiting im/emigration. If someone hate their ruler, they can just pick a new place to land when they migrate next spring/fall. So factions are constantly shifting around, and places change a lot every year depending on who got there first and how much fuss they intend to kick up about staying there. Avians move a lot and aren't really tied down to a particular home. There's a constant flux to these societies. Some Avians cope by forming close knit groups, and get entire towns migrating together, but others bounce from group to group.

I'm super certain wars are happening. But we also don't see Techno as being notably armed while migrating -which: this is Techno! If there are weapons he'd have all of them! Which might be oversight on my part tbh, but also I think in that case the Elytrian kill strat explains why: usually, Avians are either immediately killed, or can escape. So, not much use for a weapon there, especially against someone faster and stronger than you. And since Avians are trying to max out carrying food during migration, I imagine weapons aren't carried on them because every gram counts when you're flying across the ocean. So, weapons are for fighting Avians, running for your life is for fighting Elytrians. (Could've been a few centuries arm race between Avian weapons and Elytrian armor, but, speculation).

Most Avians are on the herbivore/omnivore spectrum, and since the migration means they have two growing seasons but also giant periods of time where areas are abandoned. So while I do picture them having farming, I think it's very different from human styles. Much much much less intensive, long fallow periods, potentially more diversity since you can also trade with an Avian with a different diet! Scavenging/hunting is still very large in the culture, because you WILL need it during migration at the very least, so you better not get rusty or you'll die! Also some people need bugs/fish/whatever in their diets. I think most of their clothing is made from cotton they've grown, and they get crazy dyes from all over the globe.

I also think that the ability to fly would vastly structure how things like towns are built because that's all about proximity, but the sheer distance anyone can cover means that I think they're less concentrated.....by species. Niche partitioning baby! And also some birds are very territorial compared to others who form massive flocks. So, big difference there again.

I gotta imagine their sense of ownership looks very different to ours too.

AS for Elytrians:

Imma focus on Phil's species that don't migrate cause I like the contrast! They are more firmly in one place for most of the year. They don't grow crops cause, well, carnivores. I can see an amount of animal husbandry for them though, which works for a mildly nomadic species since birds do tend to drift around even if not migrating. I think circling their herd overhead would also give ample opportunity for hunting, since blatantly Phil is still a predator. Particularly for his species, they eat insects and fish and what not most times of the year, but their chick season lines up with when a bunch of Avians migrate through because they make a fantastic source of protein.

Comparatively, Elytrians are far more invested in their one area than Avians are, who migrate frequently and mingle a lot. So I picture Elytrians having more complex architecture, and potentially inventions since you're not abandoning a project every half year to potentially never come back to again. Which honestly suits the Philza/Techno building philosophy divide....

Since writing systems were developed for counting agriculture stuff, I kinda see these guys inventing it and arithmetic as a way of marking how big their herds are, branding them to prevent thefts, stuff like that. Probably have things like literature being big hits in the Elytrian communities, especially since distribution is so easy. Passarines being more song birds I think have oral story telling traditions instead.

Now Elytrians mostly just use natural weapons for hunting evidentially since- I mean- can you throw a spear faster than a 200mph falcon? If it works it works! Their aerial combat with each other has got to be WICKED though.

As for general technologies: Clothing, basic tools, dying, stone/wood work, fire. I cannot for the life of me picture either Order working in mines but Techno has clearly forged pieces of copper/gold/metal worked into his clothing so I imagine it's happening. Nothing along the lines of industry. If that were to happen I think Elytrians are more likely, buuuut then they'd have to fly in all that smog so potentially that wouldn't go far.

uh. Good enough ramble session?? I hope? This certainly helped get my thoughts in order to continue working!

[jbaileyfansite]

The Wall Street Journal Interview (2024)

The 36-year-old English actor Jonathan Bailey is one of Hollywood’s newest heartthrobs. From Shonda Rhimes's Regency-era courtship dramas of “Bridgerton” to the decades-long romantic-political saga of “Fellow Travelers” to the Met Gala red carpet, he has earned admirers with his goofy charm and deep looks of longing.“

Being acknowledged as a heartthrob is incredibly flattering,” Bailey said. “It’s a big compliment, not just to you as an actor but everything around you.”

It has been a life-changing few years for Bailey, a stage actor turned screen darling. After “Bridgerton” launched him to global fame, he wrote up a document with tips to help prepare his younger castmates for the attention their on-screen romances would earn. “I think it’s about how to approach the work in a way that allows you to feel yourself and grounded,” he said.

Bailey, who’s been acting since he was a child in the Royal Shakespeare Company, reprises the role of Anthony in the third season of “Bridgerton” this month. Later this year, he’ll appear as Fiyero in the film adaptation of “Wicked” with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo. He lives outside of London. Here, he talks about his favorite tea, doing gymnastics and the advice he got from Sir Ian McKellen.

What time do you get up on Mondays, and what’s the first thing you do after waking up?

I try to get up between 7 and 8. Then I try to not look at my phone, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. If it’s a good day, I drink loads of water, have a bath and then just get out because I need to get outside. I’ll go for a walk, always with my headphones. If I feel a bit excited or my brain’s sort of alive, I’ll listen to a podcast because that keeps me quite calm. If not, I’ll listen to some drums and bass. 

How do you like your coffee? 

I love tea. Earl Grey tea for me. I love coffee as well.

What do you do for exercise?

I’m currently training for a half marathon. Then I do gymnastics at a local gym with loads of lovely, brilliant people. I’m part of that community, which I’m very proud of. I do handstands.

How long can you hold a handstand for?

I’ve gotten up to a minute. 

Do you meditate or journal or otherwise practice mindfulness?

Walking outside is meditation to me. There was a Buddhist center I loved when I was living in London, and I’d go there regularly to learn the practice of meditation. I believe in taking bits and bobs that work for you. I do write stuff down in a book that I carry with me, lessen the load in the brain when I can. 

Do you have any hobbies or habits that might surprise your fans? 

Probably playing loud music and dancing around naked. 

“Fellow Travelers” follows your character, Tim, as he falls for Matt Bomer’s Hawk over the course of several decades, from 1950s McCarthyism to the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. How did you get into character? 

With Tim, I felt like there was so much understanding that was in my bones already just from being me. Understanding the character who you’re playing opposite is also really good. Me and Matt, we didn’t really talk about it but we had that understanding of the experience of what these queer, gay people were experiencing.

Beyond that, I think about my forefathers and what an incredible opportunity it was to an academic, hands-on research of gay life in America. As a Brit, there was so much to learn, so the preparation was kind of nerdy in that respect. In another, it was incredibly emotional and spiritual. 

You’ve become very famous for the looks of longing that you’ve perfected. Do you practice them in the mirror?

No, unfortunately, I probably practiced them in real life all the way through my childhood. It’s funny, isn’t it? I can totally understand why people say that, but I think maybe what fascinates me most about humans is there’s always a distance between what you want and what you have and who you are and who you want to be. I mean, if I’m still longing and 92 years old, then I’m going to be very happy. 

How did you prepare to model swimwear for Orlebar Brown? Was there any part of you that was nervous? 

I had been doing gymnastics, so the swimsuit-model aspect of it required a couple of weeks of doing more handstandy stuff. But no, I was excited. 

There were some cute photos of you and Ariana Grande released from the set of “Wicked.” Do you have any favorite memories from filming? 

I went to CinemaCon and it was the launch of all of us together. I watched the trailer for the first time, I’m so glad I waited to see it in the big cinema. I just watched Cynthia [Erivo] and I was, like, God, Cynthia’s just going to blow everyone’s mind. You care so much about her in it. And Ari redefines Glinda in a really fun way, it just expands. 

There’s so much love for the original material. It was really fun and silly and great. Jon M. Chu [the director] just mines the emotion and is quite sincere about the truth of what’s going on with the characters.

What’s your most prized possession?

My headphones. If I lose them, I feel crazy. But also in 2017—I saved up and it felt incredibly frivolous—I started collecting the Yves Saint Laurent love prints, the original prints of the years that my sisters were born because there are four of us. Annoying actually, one of my sisters was born in 1982, and I don’t think there is a print for that year, so I might have to do a stickman or something. 

What’s one piece of advice you’ve gotten that’s guided you? 

Always do theater. That was actually from Ian McKellen. It’s in my bones anyway.

Source

[drdemonprince]

also a good-faith question: what do i tell some of my friends who are terrified of the collapse of the current system for like, survival reasons? like in ways that mutual aid and community support can't really help.

i was trying to explain all this stuff to my friend the other day who is on government support and needs a lot of intensive, expensive medical intervention to live, and she accused me of being willing to sacrifice disabled people for the sake of ideological purity but like, i wasn't saying she doesn't deserve to live, but that she doesn't deserve to live more than palestinians do? and that she also doesn't deserve to specifically live on stolen land. and like, there are palestinians who also could really use those medical treatments that she has the privilege of accessing, why does she deserve them more?

she said she can't afford to not care about the election results because if anything happens to the aca or medicaid, or if anything happens to the medical supply chains, then she's fucked. like, yeah, but same goes for all these people our country is oppressing??

i feel like i just didn't explain this well and i want to give her some other stuff to read.

Great question! I think when people believe that all social care systems will collapse without the government, they are buying into a very colonialist idea that human beings are at their most basic level selfish and irresponsible and won't care for their communities. This is not the case! Thousands of years of human history prove this not to be the case, and so do the behaviors of humans right now during moments of crisis.

Look to the people of Gaza -- they are not leaving their disabled behind. People are sacrificing all that they have to care for their elderly relatives, neighbors, and friends. The only reason that disabled people in Gaza are dying is because the region is being deliberately deprived of resources by Israel. If aid were let in and the Palestinian people were free, they would feed their hungry, treat their sick, supply insulin, teach children, and perform everything that we currently in the US rely upon the government to supply.

Another example of this can be found in how humans respond to natural disasters. Rebecca Solnit's book A Paradise Built in Hell is a beautiful read on this, following numerous real-life disasters across the globe. In every case, people did not riot and pillage or dissolve into violence--- they formed stable encampments, doctors and pharmacists worked their jobs without pay, cooks made food without expecting a wage, everyone pooled their resources and looked after one another.

We also see examples of this when other governments have fallen -- and all governments eventually do! When a nation-state ends, life doesn't end. People keep going to work to make the medicine and put on the leg casts and wash physically disabled people's bodies and make the food. People WANT to feel useful, helpful, included, and looked after, and they will do these things without being forced to by an authoritarian power structure. We see this in the campus encampments and the incredible outpouring of generosity they are experiencing too.

It is quite common for a person to mistakenly believe that the government is all that is keeping our social order working, and that we are all just one moment away from violent chaos and deprivation without it. But that really isn't true. Even without the government, we will still have the *people* who understand how food production and logistics work, the *people* who research and test the drugs, the *people* who watch the children and nurse the elders and fix the roads and butcher chickens.

Without the alienating, exploitative economic structure we currently have, it would actually be EASIER and more efficient for us to take care of one another with these skills, because our time wouldnt be wasted on bullshit jobs that don't contribute to society.

There are lots of great readings about all of this on the Anarchist Library, but I recommend starting with David Graeber's books! Bullshit Jobs, then Debt the first 5000 Years, then Utopia of Rules, then Dawn of Everything. Bullshit Jobs is the easiest read.

[zaine-m]

what if instead of dying at the end Jayce and Viktor were reborn into the same world as babies and Vi and Caitlyn raised baby Jayce (with Ximena's help but she's getting older and is over the raising kids stage of life) and Viktor was raised by Ekko and the firelights.

They'd have playdates where Viktor could show off all the cool stuff the firelights are making and play on the hoverboards.

Viktor could get actual healthcare and not develop a terminal illness at 30 + hopefully having less chronic pain from being taught how to use mobility aids correctly

But he still has a lot of the same repressed feelings of inferiority that he can't really explain

Caitlyn still mourning Jayce and lil' Jayce comes up to her, asking her what she's sad about, "I just miss an old friend" "oh I'm sorry, but the good thing is you can always make new friends, like me :D"

Vi totally taking on the role of irresponsible father whenever they're left alone together

*them walking back from dinner* Jayce: "look an ice cream shop!"

Caitlyn: "No, we just ate and we have-"

Vi: "ICE CREAM!"

Cait: "Vi, no, we have food at home"

Vi: "oh look at all the flavours they have"

Jayce: "pleaseeee"

Cait: "No, both of you" *dragging them both by their wrists*

Both Viktor and Jayce get occasional dreams/nightmares about their old lives but they all decide it's better to wait till they're older to tell them what happened

There's a lot of Jayce waking up in the middle of the night screaming and Viktor showing up at Ekko's bed in the middle of the night saying he had a bad dream

Jayce sees Ximena as a grandmother figure and she's really sad to die without seeing him fully grow up but also glad that he didn't die before her

Jayce also can't understand why Caitlyn's dad fucking hates him

Tobias tries not to hold everything that happened against the kid but it's hard. He's still Jayce who decided to experiment with dangerous materials that almost blew up his daughter and killed his wife

Viktor loves growing up with the firelights

Ekko takes him under his wing to teach him a bunch about science and inventing

together they build a modified hoverboard so Viktor can ride it easier (it looks pretty similar but is made to be sat on side saddle style)

Viktor does a lot of research on how to treat various illnesses that show up in the firelights and some work on making undercity more accessible

When he gets to age 15 he starts thinking more about his dreams

He doesn't connect the end of the world dreams to his commune dreams because he also has a lot of random nightmares so he believes these are prophetic visions of what a better world could look like

Eventually after a lot of planning he shows Ekko his designs and Ekko just stares back in shock before deciding it's time to tell Viktor the truth

Ekko confiscates all his research while telling Viktor that he believes he's a good kid who just wants to help people but that this path is dangerous

Viktor is reasonably really thrown off and immediately goes to topside to talk to Jayce about it

Ekko gets into a bit of an argument with Cait and Vi because they hadn't been planning on telling him yet but Ekko really didn't have a choice

They tell them all about Hextech and go to their old lab along with Jayce's first lab

it's a pretty weird thing to find out that you had a full life before your current one and that you bonded incredibly deeply with someone whose only been a casual friend so far

They still don't fully understand a lot and only have bits and pieces of their old lives from dreams they've happened to remember

When they're 18 they decide to get a dorm together and study at the academy

They both keep dreams journals that they'll occasionally go over together

they become incredibly close, it feels like they've been working together their entire lives

one night they both dreams of their final scene together, holding the first hexcrystal as the world collapses around them and they wake up, looking into each others eyes and Jayce says "I remember"

Viktor gets up from his bed and stops Jayce as he reaches out for his dreams journal, he hold his hand and looks deep into his eyes until Jayce pulls lightly on his hand, inviting him into bed

Jayce pulls the blankets around Viktor and cradles his body just like he did in his dream. "You're perfect"

"you... loved me," Viktor responds

[dogandbooks]

Why Tumblr should love Kamala Harris

Based on things from her memoir The Truths We Hold

I am currently reading Kamala's book (which is excellent, by the way) and I feel like some people would appreciate her so much more if they knew this stuff.

Her parents literally met as part of the civil rights movement in the 1960s

She was brought to protests as a toddler, in a stroller, and her mom once had to run for safety while pushing her after counter-protest violence broke out

The first protest she organised herself was when she was still a child, to be permitted to play soccer in front of her apartment building. She won

She spent her weekends while at Howard University protesting apartheid in South Africa

She chose to become a prosecutor and then a district attorney and attorney general, and then politics, because of all the things she had protested and been an activist for - because someone on the inside needs to be there to meet the outside pressure and make the changes happen: 'When activists came marching and banging on the doors, I wanted to be on the other side to let them in.'

In her first campaign she would meet voters by standing outside grocery stores using an ironing board as a portable standing desk, with her campaign sign duct taped to it

'The job of a progressive prosecutor is to look out for the overlooked, to speak up for those whose voices aren't being heard, to see and address the causes of crime, not just their consequences, and to shine a light on the inequality and unfairness that lead to injustice. It is to recogise that not everyone needs punishment, that what many need, quite plainly, is help.'

She changed the law so that people who paid to have sex with children could be charged with child sexual assault

She asked the question 'What if we gave people education, training and support instead of prison sentences?' and then created a programme to answer it with success by every single metric, including reducing reoffending from 50% to 10% and saving at least $40k per person per year of taxpayer money. And graduates of her programme got their records wiped to help them succeed long-term. It became a nationwide model programme.

She supports legalising pot - and also doing the research to understand its effects properly

'We also need to stop treating drug addiction like a public safety crisis instead of what it is: a public health crisis.'

'It's one thing to say black lives matter. But awareness and solidarity aren't enough. We need to accept hard truths about the systemic racism that has allowed this to happen. And we need to turn that understanding into policies and practices that can actually change it.'

She advocates for police reform to counter systemic racism and brutality

She acknowledges that intense pressure from outside opens up space on the inside for change- citing the example of the Black Lives Matter movement on making body cameras mandatory - 'the movement created an environment on the outside that helped give me the space to get it done on the inside. That's often how change happens. And I credit the movement for those reforms just as much as anyone else in my office, including me.'

This is just from the first two chapters. I'll add more as I keep reading.

@wilwheaton this feels like something your followers would enjoy?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my sister that I didn't find her instagram post funny and that I didn't want her to send me things like that again?

I (32f) have never had a good relationship with my sister (34f). We have gotten somewhat better over time, but we have always had a strained relationship. We are about as opposite as you can be. Social rights issues? No compromise. ACAB? Constant disagreements. Politics: best never mention them. TV Shows? No interest at all. Music? We cannot stand each other's music. We genuinely have nothing except our blood and the fact we were raised by the same people in common.

I am currently in the process of finishing my PhD and live on a different continent to her. We have been vaguely trying to talk and maintain a cordial friendship from afar.

For the past four months I had been preparing for a conference that I was organizing, leading, and moderating. It was a massive project that will be a huge part of my dissertation research, and it went very well. The day after the conference I had a long career planning discussion with some academic advisors, and spent about three hours talking in my second language with my own advisor. The combination of everything left me genuinely exhausted to the point that I woke up the day after it all still too tired to move.

After I woke up, I realized I had a text from her containing an instagram link - no comment, no notes, no context, just the link. I know I wasn't in a perfect headspace and still needed more sleep, but I clicked it because usually she just spam sends me instagram videos about random baby rearing things she finds funny. I don't find any of them amusing, but tolerate them because she seems to enjoy it. I usually just nod my head or offer a few responses to show I've seen it and move on.

But this video was different. This video was, as far as I can tell, an influencer attempt at selling an AI. It had a young woman walk into a classroom with the onscreen text describing how "my professor is the same age as us and she has her phd!" and when she was asked how she got it, the video shows how the "teacher" went onto Youtube, put Youtube videos into this AI which created an algorithm to summarize the video. It ends with the words "University is a joke in 2024".

I was....genuinely offended. After everything I had been through working on this conference and with years of thesis work, I was just hurt. I watched it a few times, trying to understand what it was even trying to say, and could come up with no good reason for why she would just send it to me. So I wrote back to her "idk how you even want me to respond."

She said she thought it was funny, and I asked her if she understood why I wouldn't find it funny. She wrote back "because you lack my sense of humor smh." I tried explaining why I was upset and reframed it in the context of her job. She doubled down that she thought it was funny, but that it was because she thought it was amusing anyone would think they could get any kind of degree like that.

I explained that AI is genuinely a problem in universities right now and that our students are using it to get through their classes and it's causing a lot of chaos with profs trying to crack down on it. Then I told her it felt like she sent me something just to annoy me.

The argument continued from there. I asked her not to send me stuff like that again, and she asked how she was supposed to know I would be triggered by an AI video, and that I was being oversensitive, and how it was my fault for always assuming that she is plotting to piss me off and that she can never show an interest in my life without me having a "feelings dumpfest" and calling her out for being a bully.

I don't understand how she could think sending a video to me saying "university is a joke in 2024" with no context at all would be taken as a joke in the first place. And I felt like if I didn't tell her I didn't like this kind of video and why it made me upset she would keep sending things like this to me I'd have to keep seeing and ignoring future posts.

AITA for telling her I didn't think it was funny and to stop?

Should I have just ignored it and gone back to sleep? (At this point that's what I felt like I should have done...)

What are these acronyms?

[sonja-artefact-storage]

Hi, I’m Sonja Villanueva. She/Any.

I’ve been working at the Magnus Institute for 10 years, and I used to work as Head of Artefact Storage. However, I went on extended leave, Sylvester Villeneuve was hired in my absence, and I let him fully take on my position. I’m back from my break, and still working in Artefact Storage.

Do not touch the artefacts. I don’t understand why Mx. Bouchard decided to lower the restrictions while I was gone, but either way, don’t touch them. They are extremely dangerous and I don’t care how sure you are about it being fine.

Let me know if you have any questions.

asks are open

unreality warning for the whole blog!

ooc, rules, and info under cut :D

yoyoyoyooo @iiinkos back at it again with another tma rp blog!! just an idea i had, probably less big and crazy as the others :)

i also run the rp blogs @gerry-the-archivist (an au in which gerry became the archivist) and @a-thousand-little-things (my 3 avatar ocs)

info:

- (ooc) or // = out of character

- sonja’s mentioned once in one line in dig as someone to look to talk to about artefact storage. and considering artefact storage’s reputation (sasha in mag 39), i thought, “what if she was terrifyingly competent and also definitely traumatized?” so i’m here now c:

- rn she doesn’t know about the fears :3 my reason for this is that jon (canonically a good researcher) couldn’t find shit on smirke’s supernatural bullshit (mag 50). and even if sonja did find out somehow, she’d also probably. tell her assistants and employees and shit. including sasha. who’d probably tell jon and the others :p so yeah she doesn’t know and has basically had to rely on vibes and herself when dealing with The Spooky <3

- i’ll make a post linking lore stuffs and all when it happens :D however i don’t plan on doing anything very extreme lore-wise with sonja, but she does have a backstory c:

- sonja was hired to work in the magnus institute when she was 21, and is currently 31. if we’re going by canon timeline, she’d be born in 1984 and hired in 2005 and it’s currently 2015, but in this universe there isn’t really a canon time for the “present day,” so. only the age stuff applies ig

- her last name being similar to syl’s, while being intentional, has no bearing on the plot, i just thought it’d be funny

- she is mixed black and filipino (filo because i cant stop projecting on characters)

rules:

- flirting allowed

- i might be ok with rping a relationship? but i can’t promise i’ll be good at it, and i might call it off if i feel like it’s too much

- no sexual content, or suggestive for that matter

- it’s fine to start new rps, join old rps, or just generally interact, i don’t mind

- anyone can rp with me, doesn’t matter if you have an rp blog or not, or are just an anon, or whatever

have fun c:

mod uses they/them

[vasito-de-leche]

Hello!😄, I admire the way you write ✍️The way u never mischaracterized characters and the way you write them accurately is fascinating to read for ,and how you also took focus on small details about the character heck im starting to believe you work on the game R1999, if may I ask if you could write about Six from R1999 with a timid S/O or about a self-aware au of Six ? It had been my obsession of him after he came out and with his story making it more fascinating and made me attract towards him more

;R1999 6 - Self-Aware AU

Headcanons about how 6 would act upon becoming self-aware. Related to this Self-Aware AU post.

tysm for the kind words! I rlly like overthinking and overanalyzing stuff <3

I'll do the self-aware AU for this post to match the other one posted recently about 37, but feel free to send another ask if you'd still like 6 with a timid S/O!

There is a lot to be discussed about 6 and how all four characters of the 1.4 update contrast and complement each other so wonderfully, but I have a lot of trouble narrowing down what exactly I want to talk about here and what I should save for a proper analysis of the characters and the way I interpret them. So as usual, I ask that you guys bear with me with these trains of thoughts!

For starters, in my opinion, 6 is a very good narrative foil to 37.

Both focus on alienation and isolation from their respective communities, both are characters that struggle with the concept of fate, and both were born knowing their numbers--the key difference is the way each tackles this piece of information.

As discussed before in her own post, 37 does not question the reason why she's 37: like 210 says, "she stumbled upon fate at birth," and did not go through the same process of having to figure out one's number like the rest do. When it comes to 6, it's slightly different but the fundamentals are the same: he knows the number he will be assigned, and yet this revelation is not part of a natural process, it's something that us forced upon him and his family.

What I'm trying to say is that 37 and 6 weren't given the choice of discovering their soul numbers, and thus lack the most important part: the understanding of their own lives and selves. Compare this to 210, who became "too predictable" upon finding out his own soul number, or Sophia, who has clearly developed a very complex relationship with her own friends because of the inferiority and feelings of inadequacy she feels not knowing her own number.

And this is when the contrast between the two become clear: 37 is partially isolated from her community because she doesn't understand fate, nor the importance of one's journey, she doesn't respect the discovery of one's number. 6 is partially isolated from his community because no one else but him is able to see the concept of fate--or the Revelation--as a negative thing. His entire life, his entire bloodline is defined by fate and the Revelation, but only he understands the burden and the pain such knowledge entails.

Because only he has seen the way this Revelation takes over his loved ones, until they become strangers, mere vessels for infinite knowledge and bound to their role as perfect, eternal leaders. His character event shows the radical change in his aunt once she receives the Revelation and 6's fears of his entire self being rewritten once he receives it as well.

It's important to note that the moment Atticus becomes a proper 6 and receives the revelation happens on the very same day that everyone on the boat becomes a victim of the "Storm." Sophia's father and 37's mother were on that boat--but so was Alma, the current 6 at the time and Atticus' aunt. This event is crucial for all characters, as it cements their chosen paths: it's the study of the Emanation for 37, to continue her mother's research.

It's the day 6 will receive the Revelation and see if his efforts to prepare for it will amount to something.

And yet we know that 6 was able to withstand this Revelation without his entire self being washed away by the infinite amount of knowledge. We know this because we see him retain his hermit-like behaviour in the main story, avoiding people and preferring peace and quiet. We know this because, at the very end of this event, he says that the revelation is "just as simple as it is."

37 does not understand fate, but she doesn't fight it either because studying it won't change the fact that her soul number is 37. 6 understands and once feared fate, and he fought to resist it because his entire life, his memories, his personality and essence were at risk. I also really love that small detail about how 1.4 focuses on Plato's allegory of the cave, with 37 and 6 being put on this pedestal as those who witnessed the truth and came back to save the others--and yet, these two characters needed people OUTSIDE of the island to help them with their respective journeys (37 with Vertin, and 6 with Sophia). It just clicks so right to me!

In the context of a Self-Aware AU, I like to think that the self-awareness is something that comes with the Revelation. That every 6 before Atticus himself realized the truth of their world, similar to how 37 sees this self-awareness as yet another eternal truth. And because the number 6 is meant to represent harmony and perfection, they understand more than anyone that to ensure the peace in Apeiron, they cannot allow others to know the truth. Think of it as the whole deal with Pythagoras and irrational numbers--the discovery of irrational numbers ruined the whole system.

I think that a much younger 6 would've been distraught at this information, to know that Alma was the only person who was "real" and that he began to drift away from her because he couldn't recognize her anymore. But now, after receiving his Revelation and becoming the new leader, he might be more focused on appreciating life as it is. Why would he be bothered by knowing everything so far has been a script? He's already been haunted by fate his whole life, this is, in the end, the same thing. Of course, 6 is a philosopher in his own right, despite knowing pretty much everything there is to know, I think he would like to ponder about the more existential issues and topics that come with self-awareness.

I also like to think that his self-awareness and the Revelation come with knowing how the story will develop, at least in relation to Apeiron. He knows of Vertin's arrival, he knows of Arcana's schemes, he knows that by the end, Apeiron will be revealed to the human world. 6 believes it's impossible to change the course this game and its story, and the best thing he can do is help everyone prepare for it--I like to think that's why he specifically sent 37 to greet Vertin and the rest!

When it comes to finding out about the Player, I already said in 37's post that it would be very nice if she could see the player, but not hear them. And to contrast that, I wanted 6 to hear the player, but not see them.

The Player's existence is the one thing that 6 cannot pinpoint nor rationalize. He listens so very attentively when you speak, and he quickly realizes that you are not part of this infinite stream of knowledge from his ancestors, you're ... Just a person. What are you trying to teach him, if that is even your goal?

At first, I can see him struggle with this strange presence interrupting his very much needed alone time, choosing to remain silent until you go away, but he would grow to find it comforting, similar to his friendship with Sophia when they were children. You are an outsider, you're not part of this little world he lives in--you can offer a refreshing and different perspective. Once he's used to this new change, perhaps he will speak again, either to ponder out loud about your existence or monologue about whatever might be occupying his mind. Unlike 37, he wouldn't tell a single soul of your existence, largely because he believes it's something unique to him, entirely unaware that there's someone out there behind the screen rooting for him.

[chaoticstarlightwonderland]

Spy x Family Naegiri + Izuru Kamukura AU

Kyoko Kirigiri as the spy suddenly tasked with making a family appear out of thin air. As a young girl, her father died in the early bombings and her mother, fearing for Kyoko’s safety, sent her on a train to her estranged grandfather. Said grandfather was the leader of an intelligence agency and from then on Kyoko was trained in all things related to spying. Even after her grandfather’s death she still continued with this career, believing that it was her duty to give other people a peaceful lifestyle that she will never be able to truly understand.

Makoto Naegi as the assassin who needed to swallow his moral quandaries to look after his sister. As he has gotten older he felt like he couldn’t leave because a lot of his targets were dangerous people. The current peace is so fragile, he wants to do everything he can so that more people can have hope for the future.

But who would their telepathic child be? I know Shuichi is often depicted as a naegiri baby but I don’t think he is chaotic enough to get into the same shenanigans that Anya does. What character would purposefully cause so much chaos for their own amusement?

Izuru (Kamukura) the young telepath who is desperate for anything to escape the eternal boredom. Everyone’s thoughts are so predictable. Even going to the outside world quickly become boring for the young boy.

Izuru is definitely smarter than Anya in canon, but not as smart as he is in DR. He is good at the sciences, the technical stuff and the hard rules the language and arts, but he is so apathetic that he struggles with emotional nuances in all these subjects. Perhaps the reason why scientists thought he was a failure is because Izuru didn’t care enough about what people thought and the results of the tests.

Whether he escaped or was kicked out, Izuru survives using his telepathy. He decides to use a different name to cover his tracks, calling himself “Hajime” when other people ask. Through all this, nothing reduces his boredom and he never tries to bond with anyone. He gets adopted for his intelligence and kicked out for his creepiness 4 times.

Then one day Kyoko arrives at his orphanage, and Izuru reads the most interesting mind he has ever encountered, the mind of a spy. Surely if there are any people in the world that could keep Izuru entertained, it would be the thrilling, dangerous life of a secret agent. Izuru also supposed they have something in common since Izuru created the “Hajime” identity.

The two have a different bond than Loid and Anya initially. Kyoko and Izuru initially find a decent rapport due to their naturally stoic and analytical personalities. Their first roadblock is when Kyoko has to get Izuru to do something he is not interested in (Such as studying subjects he is not interested in or befriending kids/targets). Kyoko realises the two haven’t actually been acting like parent and child before then. Kyoko buys parenting books for research and realises that Izuru’s behaviour may be a trauma response for his past. Izuru experiences an unknown emotion having an adult not throw him out when he’s being difficult. Also, Kyoko understands Izuru more than other cuz she herself can be very detached to individual problems. For Kyoko it’s due to her upbringing and because she is usually busy focusing on the bigger national issues.

In comes Makoto who takes Yor’s role as the “emotionally intelligent parent” in the family. Izuru immediately wants this harmless-looking deadly assassin under his roof, and tries to set the two adults up. Unlike Anya who sings about she wants a mama, Izuru is probably like “Hello, my mother is a single woman who is considered attractive by many people. How would you like to snatch her up before the rest of the competition.” Complete deadpan 5 year old here. Makoto and Kyoko are very shocked, but they do end up talking and eventually settle into the arrangement they do in canon.

Here Makoto acts as a stronger emotional glue to Kyoko and Izuru as the two are too stoic to develop a proper bond on their own. Makoto is also very caring towards Izuru and tries to be supportive when he knows that Izuru struggles with emotions. Both with his own or other people. Izuru is a soo a bit shocked by this because before he was always demonised for supposedly having no emotions but Makoto accepts Izuru just the way he is. I think Izuru quickly becomes attached even if the boy can’t explain why, and Makoto is happy to have such a cute stepson.

As for how Makoto covers his assassin skill, unlike Yor with clumsy lies, Makoto has a “talent” for disguising attacks and assassin skills as dumb luck- sometimes good sometimes bad. You know that martial art that is based on the fighter being drunk during? Well Makoto is similar except it’s not drunkenness but clumsiness that Makoto uses. Partly out of practice to disguise his skills, and partly due to Makoto-brand luck, it often looks like he slipped and accidentally hit someone so hard they passed out. Or he slipped, tumbled down a hill and landed on the bad guy. Kyoko never gets suspicious because Makoto’s klutziness is so extreme it can’t be faked. Surely.

Like the original all 3 grow to become a family, even if they don’t realise it for a long while. Perhaps the character who ends up with the most change by the end is Izuru turned Hajime.

I see Izuru’s character progression in this AU like this:

In danganronpa, a boy named Hajime turns into lab creation Izuru Kamukura.

In this world, a lab creation called Izuru becomes a boy named Hajime.

[hyperfixationturnedreligion]

Intro Post

I'm basically just expanding on my Bio here. Read that for a TL;DR. Loooong post underneath, but there's categories for easy skimming

NAME: You can call me Rabbit! There's no meaning behind it, it's just my favorite animal. I heard rabbits are important to Irish Paganism, though, but I haven't done much research on it

CONTENT: I made this blog as a way to document my journey discovering my religion. I will also use this to store all my resources I find. I will have a tag for original posts (Rabbit Rambles) and links/re-posts meant for archival purposes (Rabbit steals). Because they're mostly for my own usage, I may not always have proper credit to give, but I will always provide links to where I found it. I know, I know, it's not the best practice, I'm sorry

WHY: I first began researching Irish Paganism because I headcanoned an Irish character in a fantasy book as pagan and I wanted to be accurate. (If you're wondering, it was Halt O'Carrick from Rangers Apprentice haha). As I did so, I slowly started realizing that I already believed in most the things listed, just in a non-religious way. And all the things I didn't already believe, I understood. And slowly, it felt less like hyper-fixation and more like faith. I'm still not certain in myself, but I'm trying things out to see how it feels. Figured it'd be the best way to know for sure.

INTERPRETATIONS: Because my main source for research is Wikipedia about ancient beliefs, I fully understand many of my beliefs and interpretations are probably wrong. I also don't fully believe in direct goddess work (yet, I'm slowly warming up to it), so that makes finding good resources even harder for me. I'm really trying my best, but I have school and chores, so for now, I think I'm okay with being wrong. For now. We'll see how long that lasts

ALTAR: I don't have an altar yet but I'm working on it. I connect most with Brigid, so she's who I'll be focusing on, but I think it's gonna end up fairly vague. I'm going to be making a shelf out of a giant log that fell from an oak tree in my backyard. (Side note - I have a bunch of stuff that I really like and want to put on the altar, but are technically things made for Persephone. Would Brigid by upset by this? I can't figure it out!)

MUSIC: I LOVE the Crow Women!!! I never see anyone talk about them but their music is genuinely so beautiful. I sing Song of Beltane to myself so often. Here's a link to my current playlist, it's very rudimentary but it makes me feel good, and that's what this is all about, right?

SIDE NOTES: Also, I am very obsessed with Persephone, but that's just a hyperfixation. That's actually one of the reasons I feel this might be my religion; because of how different the two things feel to me. A pet peeve of mine is when people treat Brigid and Persephone like they're the same goddess with different names when?? They're not?????

[rowanraven08]

So I just need to fucking rant about my boys being stuck in the ‘puters. CAUSE MAN DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. Have probably said some of this before, but not all.

So I’m thoroughly convinced that they’ve been properly coded in, Sergey Ushanka style, and also based off that statement, there’s no doubt in my mind that it hurts for them. I know this is a different universe, but unless computer folks are a common thing here, why would the plot give them anything less than more trauma? But I’m actually kinda concerned about how they’ll be once/if they get out?? Like aside from the trauma of it even, Tessa Winters said you can’t code people in the way people really are, and I’m kinda worried that through the whole thing that they might be different, or have lost a little bit of themself, the way that if you put something through google translate to many times it comes out all messed up, mostly with the same meaning, but words have still changed.

Other than that even, how the hell is Jon gonna cope/currently coping with not being omniscient?? I imagine going from knowing almost everything to having to seek out the information yourself again would be a huge hurdle. Even if now he has the equivalent of what Elias could do, seeing out of any eye, but instead just seeing out of any camera, that would be so disorienting. Never mind the fact they’re in an alternate universe.

The whole thing just makes me so sad, they can’t communicate clearly, are clearly trying tooth and nail to help and to get the OIAR gang to understand, stuck in this nonexistence that is probably excruciating, and no one except probably Colin and Celia even knows they exist. (I’m operating under the assumption Celia knows what’s up, she’s a smart girl she knows this isn’t a coincidence) But Colin clearly fucking hates them, Sam is only just starting to realize the computers are listening, and Celia doesn’t actually seem to be trying to help them, the only thing we know about her research is that she was looking into alternate universes and time travel sort of stuff, and that now she’s looking into alchemy. My boys are SCREAMING to be heard and no one will listen.

Like what will they even do? Worst case scenario, they’re stuck like that forever. Best case scenario, they get out, and somehow manage to get home (unlikely in my opinion) only to be met with a world still rebuilding, where everyone hates them. Last scene in TMA? Literally Melanie, Georgie, and Basira talking about how it’s better off they can’t find Jon, and they’re right,

“I mean, I just don’t think people would exactly be understanding. You remember what happened when they found Simon Fairchild?”

“And he’s not just some powerless left-behind avatar, you know? We’re talking about ‘The Archivist’.”

People would absolutely kill Jon if he came back, and they knew who he was, and I think being able to fly under the radar isn’t an option seeing as he literally haunted people’s dreams for a while. Who’s to say he could even stay alive in a world without the fears? Death might finally catch up to him, the exhaustion, everything. I don’t think going back is an option for them.

Maybe for Celia, if it’s even possible. But I think at this point she’d be happier in Protocol universe than Archives. She couldn’t even remember her original name in late s5, and didn’t remember Martin, she seemed to have lost at least a good portion of her memory if not all. If that didn’t come back after the apocalypse, she has more actual connection to Protocol, the cult being her only real connection to Archives. Maybe she’s trying to get back just because of principle, she’s not considering if that’s really what she wants because it’s the clear next step. But I don’t think she’d be able to leave Jack behind. I don’t even think she really is his proper mother, I’m guessing she somehow took other Celia’s (Lynne’s) identity, and just took over caring for Jack. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him.

I really do hope Jon and Martin get out of the computer, it’ll be so hard for them to deal with everything, but maybe if they stayed in Protocol they could still build a life together.

Some other random stuff:

So I went through, and found (I think) all the times we hear the jmj. error.

Ep 3 we get an error, which actually starts working when Colin threatens it, and it starts up with a statement from our buddy Norris, and I actually find it kinda amusing to imagine Martin being scared into reading the statement by the frustrated IT guy.

We also get an error in ep 5, after Gwen asks about the German IT guy before Colin. Which a.) why is she asking about him, b.) if I’m right about the errors being an attempt at communication, why do they think the guy’s important? C.) I had thought before that the German bit of code could be Jonah or something since he may have known German? But pretty sure that was too speculative, it makes more sense for it to have just been the German IT guy. D.) he’s mentioned as having a bunch of tattoos, which so far has not meant good things.

Ep 17 which I talked about in a different post, where the error lasted long enough for Gwen and Alice to nearly talk about stuff, only starting up again once they end that bit of the conversation without actually talking about it

And then ofc in 19 when Alice won’t listen to Sam about the computers listening.

I don’t think I missed any, but I might have? So if anyone notices one I missed lemme know please

Also only just realized a few days ago that jmj. isn’t an ACTUAL error, I know Colin says ep 3 it doesn’t mean anything, but I had actually taken that as Colin just being frustrated, and hadn’t read into. Jmj doesn’t even fucking exist, my guess is that it stands for Jon Martin Jonah?

Also what’s everyone’s thoughts on Teddy? Because that man is getting kinda suspicious. Why does he keep showing up? He works into this somehow. Also why doesn’t he actually want to talk to Alice? She’s high energy and not very serious, but it sounds like the guy properly ghosted her, keeps lying about how they’ll hang out more, or how he’ll text her back, could just be him being a bit of a dick, or maybe she did something to kinda deserve it, but it’s could be he’s trying to keep her at a distance to keep her safe? Especially if he is already wrapped up in this crap.

[soleil-in-the-sky]

Are you trying to give your OCs something to wear but feel that all you do has no style? Have you scoured the internet for clothing design tutorials and still cant come up with anything you like? Many years ago, I had this problem. I now know that while I knew the basics of clothing design, I did not know how to IMPLEMENT them because I had zero fashion vocabulary! I finally solved this by creating........

My clothing design inspiration board! It has a bunch of different types of clothes, accessories, patterns, and the like!

As a bonus, below the read more are some clothing/costume design advice primarily for character design purposes!

These are (sorta) recreations of notes—made for the general ideas section—which are currently impossible to find (though the advice below has more thoughts.) never mind guys i found them so now this post is gonna be a bit disjointed cause im just gonna slap in any unique advice from there. on top of the fact this has been sitting in my drafts for 3 thousand years. so, if this is hard to understand tell me and i will make a new version with a more unified and serious writing style.

first two-and-a-half advice were written yesterday who knows how long ago on pinterest, thats why they sound so informal. actually the whole post is so informal wow

Varied wardrobe:

[Title: Varied wardrobe]. If you have the time, give your characters different outfits! That can tell us so much more! (Not part of OG notes, but giving OCs different outfits for different situations can reveal stuff about different sides or layers of their personalities/headspaces! You can also just give them a wardrobe of different clothes. Either way, you can have different outfits have similar silhouettes and/or shapes, or have them be completely different, which could be used for a purpose like what I talked about above.)

Layers:

[Title: Layers]. Layers........... layeersssss....... yes.......... uhhh, yea I love layers (this is def not what i sounded like in the OG note) So layers! They make your outfits more interesting! They're really cool and, in my opinion, they make outfits feel more real. Also they give you an excuse to go crazy go stupid with clothing designs hahahahahaha brb im gonna go put 5 shirts on my OC plus 50 scarves and 2 hats (DEF not what I said in the OG notes its been a while and i have a lot more thoughts about this now)

ok and some thoughts from the original notes: Layering can tell us a lot about your character. You can even merge different clothing items! Think about it: short sleeves on long sleeves can make for a unique touch on an otherwise boring shirt. Go ham on the combinations!

Research (this one's important):

[Title: Research (this one's important)]. Research is cool! Look at all those buttons [, click: here: for link], no wonder there was a button shortage. Also obviously you have to research stuff before writing about another culture otherwise its gonna be some inaccurate crap. a well researched portrayal will be way more interesting and research (at least for me) can be rewarding in general. But you can also do research on time periods, jobs, and more! Research can be intimidating, but sometimes, you just gotta do it. And as I said about well-researched portrayals being more interesting, researching can give you ideas you would've never thought about [, click: here: for link to source]. Told ya research makes stuff more interesting. (really realizing these are more than just recaps, wow. im even citing crap.) So yeah, research is important for many aspects of storytelling, including costuming, and even if it's scary, your future self will thank you.

Imagery:

[Title: Imagery]. This is where you unleash your inner English teacher. You slap some object's shape, pattern, image, etc. somewhere to represent something. It could represent some deep-seated secret of the character, but it doesn't even have to be deep. It may just be a simple reference to a personality trait. Where you put the symbolism can also mean different things, like for example, hearts on a character are usually positive symbolism, but a heart on the sole of a shoe can, if you so desire, mean the character crushes others dreams.

Clothing variations:

[Title: Clothing variations]. Just look at this [, click: here: for link to an image of variations of vests]. Details. You can change them. All the details. Play around with them. Go even further, change the details no one notices. Have you ever seen a denim shirt? No? Make it happen. Make all those weird things happen. Yeah, that's it really.

Details:

[Title: Details]. (literally just copy-pasting the original note apart from maybe one awkward word replaced) Simple details like buttons, hemlines, lace or pleats can make your outfit feel all the more real. The possibilities are endless for such small add-ons.

Don't limit yourself to one type of anything, it's why I made this board! (Other than my own lack of ideas.) For example, learning to draw pockets is cool and all, but are you sure that's all you can do? I have a whole section for them!

So yeah that's it. I am tired and this post is very disjointed.