#but like i said that meme works both ways and that's why they work

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Chimpanzee and Me - Thoughts

The last of this week's new episode premiere, released online today alongside Salamander Streaming and Bumblezzzz. Will air on TV this coming Wednesday so as always, spoilers ahead!

K, so huge confession but Zooboomafo was the only other show by the Kratt Brothers I distinctively remember watching. I watched a few clips of Kratts' Creatures, but mistook them for WK as a kid. This is most definitely a callback to some Chimpanzee adventure episode in KC that I did not happen to pick up. So it's totally lost on me.

That being said, my prediction of references to previous Kratt Brothers' works reigns supreme (and for those who view all four Kratt Brother shows in one hollistic "canon" here's some ammo for your fan-theories).

Look at those delicious yummy grapes... wonder if they're being saved for later.

I will still never forget when the synopsis for this episode came out about Chris spraining his ankle, as well as when a synopsis for the clip came of him tripping on grapes. The constant memes and reactions omfg /silly

But seriously this man is in PAIN. This season for what it's worth, does a lot of angst and in ways you'd never expect.

I've never sprained or broken a limb, so I'm probably in no place to talk, but from the looks of that frame, Chris bent his ankle pretty damn good. He's definitely gonna be on hiatus for the next few weeks (which could ironically be taken metacontextually since after this episode we'll be on another hiatus until next year when the live show comes)

Ok let's talk about the villain's plan here. He wants to replace his Zachbots with a Chimpanzee he can roboticize to do his work. Here are my many thoughts and takeaways from this, some of which, definitely are just me reaching.

A step up from his dumbass plan in the last episode. Not threatening, but motivations that are actually sensible (but still evil though).

More than once have I seen the theory floating aound where Zach programmed his bots to be smart enough to obey his commands, but dumb enough to where they won't turn against him. I assumed that this episode was going to end with the cliche of Zach's creations turning on him as laser guided karma (hint it doesn't) so it really puts things into perspective.

Considering how we are getting two Zach-related episodes in a row, coming just off the heels of Our Blue and Green World, I like to headcanon that Zach's overall character in this batch of episodes is some form of response or byproduct of the events of that special. Because between Paisley's sudden betrayal, Donita's callous threat of physical violence in the previous episode, and his henchmen's limited intellect, he realizes how much he is fundamentally losing control, both in the villain team, and in his own endeavors as a villain. He's slowly, yet consistently and constantly being knocked down from the pedestal that he views himself on, and by trying to change the status quo with a new animal assistant, he thinks he can keep himself up at the top where he thinks he belongs, completely oblivious to how he's his own worst enemy. Yes, I'm overanalyzing all 3 episodes and I love it.

This is another moment where I HAVE to use my one-video-only-free-card to convey the point across because a certain scene is that good. This is only a 34 second action sequence where the chimpanzees are running from the Zachbots, but holy hell the background music. I had to isolate the background noises just to share it with y'all so you can see my point as to how the music absolutely carries this scene. Pure West has always gone so hard with the scores in this show, but they were absolutely on fire for this brief chase scene. I actually tensed up seeing the Chimp's mother getting torn away from her baby as the music swole up. Yet another reason why PBS should release an official soundtrack for the series, it's so fucking good.

Ok so Chris doesn't activate Chimpanzee Powers, nor does he invent the disc but goddamnit! This entire plot is so cute, and dare I say, the episode actually works better with Chris not being the one to activate the suit.

Now I can use my allotted time to point out how much I love this scene and why it makes this episode very well-liked for most people, myself included. This isn't the first PBS Kids show to educate viewers on non-verbal communication such as facial expressions and sign language, and it's definitely far from the last, but it's a really sweet and sincere moment that's both educational, and really good rep for people who use sign language. It gets its point across efficiently and could very well reach out to any children at home who use ASL. It's magnificent.

Also, Leah is fun, I hope we see her more in future eps.

THE CHIMPANZEE POWER SUIT

Ok I take it back: This is definitely the best designed Creature Power Suit of S7. I remember dreading it because of how alike Chimpanzees and Humans are physically, but oh my god I am so glad to be wrong. It's giving full Season 1 vibes (looks a lot like the Orangutan Suit, total sense), and I am all FOR IT.

And again, I feel like I would/should be angry or disappointed that Chris didn't activate the suit, but again, the plot actually works better without him using the suit, and the design of the Chimpanzee Suit itself is so good, everything just comes together neatly.

Bro is in his peak.

I mean, still peak.

Joss pointed this out better than I could, but there are a lot of varied facial expressions for Zach in this episode. As mentioned earlier, during the hiatus in between Season 6 and 7, new builders and riggers were hired on the animation team for Wild Kratts, many of them likely fans of the show themselves. And again, seeing as there's a 2 year gap between S6 and S7 in terms of development, there's bound to be some slight differences in rigs or models. Which is definitely why we get a lot of moments like this in the episode.

My two cents. I can definitely see why people would be caught off guard, and yeah, at such a high frequency it can get off-putting and requires some getting used to. But at the same time, I kinda dig it, just for the camp factor. It also somewhat reminds me of some of the facial expressions used in the pilot episode, (which has the stronger excuse of different animation + art-style to back it up), but yeah, definitely something that catches the eye.

Zach's hair is defnitely giving Kovu from Lion King 2 and I mean this in the worst. Possible. Way.

This entire scene can be seen as an allegory for two different types of parenting. Zach takes harsh, demanding approaches, speaking without listening for the sake of control, all out of a place of emotional unintelligence and immaturity, which alienates + drives away the child; Whilst Chris takes a more constructive, compassionate, understanding, yet still direct approach to get through to the child/chimp, allowing for a proper solution to the issue at hand. Yes, I'm pointlessly over analyzing even more but in an episode where communication is the main focus & moral of the episode as well as the resolution to the climax, I have to wonder if someone, whether it'd be the writers, animators, or even network execs did it on purpose. Because once again, you could takeaway a really good lesson for kids, and even adults with this interpretation in mind.

Oh yeah, once we get past that stuff, the climax of this episode is like, really fucking hilarious. And Zach getting mind-controlled by his own helmet is still a good dose of laser guided karma.

CONCLUSION:

Cons:

A few of the facial expressions can be a bit jarring. Again, Joss pointed it out perfectly how this episode could've been earlier in S7's development so these adjusted rigs probably can and will get better. I wouldn't even say it as a con, it's just some little thing of the episode that doesn't really lower my overall opinions.

This is a personal nitpick of mine; Not a critique. I think we could've seen more of the chimpanzees in action. I'm talking about face-offs with gorillas (which I think we might get an episode on that in the future, idk), hunting monkeys, leopard attacks! But I do get why it wasn't in the episode, it would've just bogged down time. Frankly, the only reason why I'm putting the cons first is because there is so much I have to say otherwise.

Pros:

The animation overall

The backgrounds

The Chimpanzee Power Suit

The Chimpanzees themselves.

The Background Music

Chris angst!!!!!!

The A plot and B plot perfectly complementing each other, which makes certain writing decisions that could've fallen short, work so much better as a result in execution!

Zach not being a dumb POS like he was in the last epiosde!

The chimpanzee designs!!!!

The very well-handled representation and depiction of sign-language and lessons of communications to its young audiences!

Final Ranking: 9.2/10. Our Blue and Green World and No Name Dream subverted expectations (mainly through Paisley's redemption and the S1 callbacks + the return of the Draco Power Suit). This is the first episode of Season 7 that exceeded my expectations. It is far better than how I thought it would be, and the experimental writing that this season has been hinged upon thus far hit the mark entirely when it came to this episode. So much so that it actually raised the already-high expectations I had for the new season. It is that. Fucking. Good. I'd easily call it a contender for one of the best episodes of the season, but again, we'll have to wait and see.

[julesnichols]

One day (when I've slept enough to both remember enough to make all of my points and be coherent) I'll explain what I meant when I joked about Sophie being worse

[supercantaloupe]

sleepover saturday :)

i just got back home and i am with My Beast…….

i enjoy how the second one looks like a big foot sighting. anyway :)

how are we feeling about vaopera don giovanni Drawing Nearer (and carmen. their whole season actually looks very neat)

i’m gonna try and see both dg + carmen

your creature looks so much like a giant weird bug it's so fascinating

va opera's season looks Great this year and i was so happy to see them replace siegfried (i think?? it was one of them rings) with don g. BUT i'm pissed off that don g for some reason is not playing in fairfax, only in richmond and norfolk. i was straight up going to get a season subscription this year but now i'm not gonna because i can't because only two shows are near me!!

i'm still planning on seeing carmen and probably loving v virginia though. i love carmen, and i think it's one of those shows that's hard to fuck up unless you're actively trying (cracknell carmen sucks shit but even still the performances are great, it's just the production that's terrible). and loving v virginia sounds interesting. and i've really enjoyed the productions i've seen from va opera so far (barber of seville and pirates of penzance). i trust them to do something good and interesting and fun, though i'm curious to see that play out for something that isn't a comedy this year.

i still might see don g. i'm not sure. richmond is like a 2 hour drive for me, which is not out of the question entirely, especially for a weekend matinee which they do have. and thankfully the matinee is on sunday, not saturday, which is an Absolute no go this year considering that's yom kippur. and as much as i love don g i am not skipping services for that. so...idk, i'd love to see it, but i'm not sure yet, given the timing and the fact that it means a lot of driving in a single day. it's not out of the question yet, but i'm still on the fence i guess.

[ask meme]

[end-orfino]

droners might have some flaws but i really think that if someone wants to write a proper rivals to lovers dynamic then they should study whatever hannah and corto have as a reference

[sepulchral-pulchritude]

forgive me my ignorance (<-not sarcastic, this really is an area i know very little about), but my perspective as a consumer (for car insurance specifically), is this: my big issue is that insurance is REQUIRED to register and drive a car (at least in all the states I've lived in) and driving a car is basically required to have and hold a job.

to be fair, the second thing is more of the problem, but notwithstanding major legislation to expand public transportation which has yet to materialize, the situation is that i have to be able to drive to make enough money to live in a home, and the car insurance company can basically name their price (notably this issue is part of what is so heinous about medical insurance also)

and to be fair to insurance companies, even if they were trying to be good and give the best possible prices to their customers, they are at the whims of the larger markets -- the prices on medical bills (ballooned by medical supply companies and pharma companies basically extorting them), the prices of car parts, the price of gasoline to transport those car parts, probably lots of other market stuff I don't know because like I said i do not know much about this. so there is a bunch of risk the insurance company has to take as well. it is in their interest to act like a company, a money-making entity.

notably, as a profit-seeking entity, they then also find themselves relying on statistics as per @cobrilee's tags, and relying on those kinds of statistics ends up reinforcing institutionalized prejudice. you want redlining? this is how you get redlining.

in the process of writing this post, i looked up the official reason why car insurance is mandatory in 48 out of 50 states. the given reason? public safety.

specifically the idea that if you are hit by a car at no fault of your own, that you should not be expected to pay your medical bills. and i basically agree! that is an assumption that seems fair to buy into as part of living together in a cooperative society. (i will note that who "you" is can really determine who gets to be "at fault" buuuuut we cannot disentangle all of society's prejudices in one go so moving on)

but you know what? if it's for public safety, why is it being handled by entities that are necessarily driven by profit?

the fact is that having and driving a car is basically a requirement to be a working (usamerican) adult, but that it is regulated like it is a luxury item and it is really frustrating. if insurance is mandatory for public safety, it should be a matter of public safety handled by the government. it should be unconcerned with profit!

and if the government had to start really shouldering those costs, i think they might just see that public transportation is much cheaper, more efficient, and all around better than the 1 Car Per USAmerican (Mandatory) system we currently have. and we could have a competent public transportation system. and i would cry tears of joy.

The most frustrating part of working in insurance is knowing why people's insurance premiums are increasing so dramatically but not being able to explain it without sounding like you're defending a bunch of giant megacorporations

[navybrat817]

Sergeant Snuggles

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky wants you to get some much needed rest. Word Count: Over 1.6k Warnings: Fluff, swearing, humor, reader is tired, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and the best boyfriend, okay?). A/N: I'm tired. I want Bucky to fix my schedule. Again! ❤️Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You should’ve taken the afternoon off. You knew that. There was no reason for you to remain in the building beyond your earlier debriefing. The mission you completed was successful, but you hardly slept over the last few days because of it. Describing yourself as tired was an understatement.

But you had a tendency to stretch yourself thin at times and were stubborn, a trait Bucky both loved and fought you on.

The beautiful brunette you were lucky enough to call your boyfriend leaned over in his chair as you stifled a yawn. “That’s the fifth time you’ve done that in the last two minutes,” he whispered low enough to not draw attention.

“Glad you’re keeping count,” you whispered back, feeling his steel eyes linger on you as before he turned his focus back to Steve. At least he didn’t say he told you so after you turned down his suggestion this morning to call in.

You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, the stubble on his strong jawline catching your attention. He hadn’t shaved in a few days. Hardly slept either. Still looked gorgeous.

How was that fair?

“Just take a break,” he urged, tucking a strand of his long hair behind his ear. “It’ll help.”

“No, I’m fine,” you argued, picking up your drink and downing the rest of it, as if it would give you a boost. “We have a busy day. I don’t have time to use one of the pods.”

S.H.I.E.L.D. had recently built a lounge area for agents to rest and recoup during the day and between missions. Some of the pods were large enough for two people to rest comfortably together. Why not cuddle with your soldier for a short time? As nice as it sounded, you had to get through a few more hours of work.

“I love you, but you’re about two seconds away from putting your head on the table,” Bucky whispered, your heart skipping a beat. It did that whenever he professed his love for you. But you were also feeling a bit grouchy, even though he was only trying to help

“And I love you, but I’m about two seconds away from flipping this table,” you hissed before Steve cleared his throat. “Sorry,” you added sheepishly. It wasn’t his fault the mission cost you precious sleep.

The blonde’s brow furrowed. Like Bucky, he knew you pushed yourself too hard some days. You had to though. You weren't a super soldier like they were. “It’s okay,” he said before he continued.

Exhaustion veiled your normally bright and attentive gaze. The Captain had a commanding presence, yet your eyelids drooped as he kept talking. You weren’t sure if you were able to fall asleep sitting up and you didn’t want to find out. With a shake of your head, you had to try and fight the waves of drowsiness that crashed in your mind and washed over your body.

It was a losing battle. You used to laugh at memes that talked about meetings that could’ve been done in an email, but it didn’t seem so humorous now that you were living it. Why didn't you just stay home?

You jolted when your boyfriend suddenly placed his hand on your thigh and you wished you could say you blamed it on his touch. “What? What happened?” You asked. Did you fall asleep or just zone out?

“The meeting’s over,” he replied, nodding to the now empty room. You hadn’t seen anyone walk out. That wasn’t good.

“Shit.” You rubbed your temple, an ache building in your head. You’d have to apologize to Steve later because there was no way you retained anything he stated. “What time is it?”

Bucky checked his watch with a slight frown. “It’s 10:55.”

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.

“Yeah.” Bucky’s lip twitched in a smile when you realized you said that out loud. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.”

You huffed, your head cloudy again before you slumped in your chair. There was no way you’d make it through the day, as much as you wanted to try. You were useless in this condition. “Okay. I may need a nap,” you admitted.

He smiled softly as he pushed his chair back and held out his hand. “I had a feeling. That’s why I booked us one of the pods before we got here,” he said. It shouldn't have come as a surprise. He knew you better than you knew yourself. “Let's go.”

You pouted, but took his outstretched hand. “Are you sure I can't just try and suck it up?” You asked, covering your mouth with your other hand when you yawned yet again. “There’s still work to do.”

“And you're not going to finish it right this second,” he stated firmly, the drop in his voice making your throat go dry. He meant business when he used that tone. “You're going to let everyone else handle it, and they can handle it, and you are going to get some rest.”

You loved this man for putting up with and caring for you. “Yes, Sergeant, but I still don't want a nap,” you grumbled, wondering just how whiny you sounded.

He chuckled, the sound making you giggle. It was infectious. “Just twenty minutes. It’s all I'm asking for to start. You worked hard and deserve a nap,” he said, sneaking a soft kiss in when you pouted again. “If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me? Please?”

Something vulnerable flashed in his eyes before he blinked it away. Nightmares still plagued him and you discovered that he rested easier with you beside him. Your presence didn’t always chase the horrors away, but it helped. Maybe he needed this nap just as much as you did.

What kind of partner would you be if you didn't help?

“Okay, Bucko. For you,” you smiled, leaning into his side as he guided you down the hall. You’d do anything for him. “You know, my caffeine let me down,” you added.

“I know, baby.”

“It’s a betrayal. It was supposed to stimulate me,” you mumbled.

“I know, baby,” he said again, going along with your tired rambling. “But we both know I stimulate better than that ever could.”

“Yeah, you do,” you smiled. He was very good at that. “And this is a good excuse for us to cuddle.”

“As long as you get some sleep, you can have all the cuddles you want,” he promised.

A tired smile touched your lips. “I should call you Sergeant Snuggles.”

It was at that moment that Sam walked by, the smirk on his face telling you that he at least caught the nickname you just came up with. Your gaze flickered to Bucky’s profile, catching the clench in his jaw as he stared at his colleague and friend. It was a sexy look, but now wasn’t the time to think about that. And Sam, the good man he was, didn't say a word. He nodded and went on his way.

Which likely meant he pocketed the nickname to bring up at a later time.

“Sorry,” you whispered, hoping you hadn’t embarrassed him.

Fondness took over Bucky's blue eyes when he swung his gaze back toward you. “Don't be sorry. You can call me whatever you want,” he assured you, taking you into the longue.

The low light created a peaceful atmosphere and you found yourself longing for relaxation as Bucky brought you to the pod furthest in the corner. He helped you in before he climbed in beside you, his massive frame making you feel safe and warm as he held you against him. His fingers moved along your back in a slow and soothing pattern and your breathing began to match his after a minute. It made it easy for your eyes to slip shut.

You still couldn’t believe that you had someone in your life like Bucky. The man did everything in his power to put your needs first and make sure he took care of you. Not because he didn’t think you were strong or capable enough to do so yourself, but because he recognized that you didn’t have to do everything alone. That was why he was your partner.

In work, in love, and in life.

“Thanks, Bucky,” you sighed, wishing you were awake enough to say how much you appreciated him. “Sorry for whining and bitching and being stubborn.”

“You don’t need to thank me and you didn’t whine or bitch. I’ll give you stubborn though,” he said, casually tossing a leg over you before you could move away. If you asked it of him, he’d lay on top of you like a blanket. “Just get some sleep and don’t push yourself today, please. I’ll feel a lot better if you relax.”

You’d feel a lot better, too. “One more question and I will.”

He hummed as he waited for you to speak.

“What's the policy on sex in the pods?” You asked, resting a hand on his chest and feeling his heart start to race. “For future us, for the record. I love you, but we’re not trying somnophilia here today.”

He exhaled a laugh against your forehead before he kissed it, warmth spreading like a balm through your head. “I love you, too,” he whispered. Dragging his lips down to yours. “And I’m sure we can find a way to make it work, but not until you rest, okay? Need you at one hundred percent for that.”

“Yes, Sergeant Snuggles,” you replied, feeling him hold you a little tighter before you finally got some much needed sleep.

I hope this reads well. 🤣 I'm le tired. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[moltengoldveins]

ok but I have Thoughts about the way Minecraft usernames translate to actual names, both irl and in fanfic. They’re definitely ‘obsessed with structure and grumpy at inconsistency flavor autism’ thoughts but still. I find it weird how we cut and paste the media we’re given to fit what we view as functional worldbuilding, and how that gets screwy when translating online names.

like, you’re working with several categories here. The person’s actual real name, their irl nickname, their gamer tag, a name possibly contained by or possibly the entirety of that gamer tag, and any extra pieces or symbols in the gamer tag. And you have the weird situation where those categories might not easily translate to a ‘First Name Last Name’ structure. For an example, we’ve got Phil Watson, who’s gamer tag is ‘Ph1LzA,’ and is called Philza Minecraft or Philza. The ‘Minecraft last name’ is a…. Bit? A joke? A reference to a bit of lore? It’s unclear. The ‘Za’ bit was put there for flair and is now an integral part of his name. Sometimes it’s his last name. Sometimes his real last name is chucked in there. the 1 in his actual username is literally never referenced in nicknames or fic it’s like it’s not even there. But that’s a simple one. What about Tubbo_? because we call him Tubbo Underscore. Like. We say the ‘_’ aloud. Why do we do that. What has possessed us to make that decision? What about FitMC? I’ve usually heard it said ‘Fit Emsee.’ Why say that, and not say ‘Minecraft? That’s not even really a last name, it’s just like…. His full first name. Fit is used more like a shortened nickname. BadBoyHalo. Like. ‘Bad boy’ is a slang term, not a name. It would make the most sense to call him Halo, that’s the distinct noun in the name, the term the ‘bad boy’ bit is referring to. Like ‘GoodTimesWithScar’ but noooo. Bad. Halo is usually a last name, if it’s there at all. Skeppy on the other hand is… just his name. No last name ever. Technoblade is also weird. Technoblade is his full name. We call him that. We ALSO call him ‘Techno,’ and use Blade as a last name. We also use Blade as a title. What the heck. GeminiTay. We call her Gem. We use Tay as a last name sometimes. Her name is a Zodiac constellation. Literally nowhere I’m have I seen that affect her naming conventions. IJevin. We just… remove the I. For everything. This wouldn’t bother me except we don’t do it with everyone and I’m starting to get annoyed by the inconsistency. GoodTimesWithScar. Ok. This one also bugs me. Like, most fics call him Scar Goodtimes when they need a name. I’m not gonna dig into it but that’s…. Why? Why that? Grian never gets a last name. Ranboo sometimes gets chopped into Ran and Boo but usually he’s an Underscore or he’s last nameless. Wilbur Soot functions wonderfully (until the get involved shhhh) but it’s too close to his real name it gets very confusing.

anyway, all of this sucks, I hate it all, we’re a terrible fandom /hj

all that nonsense aside, yknow who has a functional Firstname Lastname username? It’s even got a space, and proper capitals: Mumbo Jumbo. That’s who. Look at that. It’s perfect. Everyone should be more like Mumbo Jumbo. Thank you and good night.

.

Edit: I know about Ranboo Beloved and Grian Dreamslayer and the various other characters whose names I didn’t mention perfectly in this post. This was no piece of journalism, this was an old man shouts at cloud meme personified. I was very overstimulated and this was what happened to catch my autistic ire. I’m not upset, just figured I’d clarify, a lot of people seem distressed at my not mentioning Beloved. Hope y’all are having a lovely day 💜

[deadghosy]

HAZBIN HOTEL X CAELUS! READER

prompt: you were found digging in their trash and they took you in

(I got covid😭 so me posting xreader will be kinda slow)

You were digging for some food ever since you fell from heaven because you kept fighting people over trash…I mean damn reader…

You fell with a blank look as you had a rotten banana in your mouth as you looked down to see pentagram city…so what did you do? You pulled out your fire sword and slash the ground to soften your fall which worked. You changed it to a bat for protection as you found a dumpster!

CHA-CHING✨ MORE TRASHHHH

You dig in the dumpster not hearing a person whistling. The person dropped the garbage bag shocked to see a….? Whatever you are digging in the dumpster. Your face was completely dirty as you lift it up to show you found a cool old watch.

Charlie didn’t know what to do. Are you homeless? Is what she thought as she takes you out the garbage as you blankly stare at her “•_•” “uhm sweetie are you okay?” “……” “not much of a talker huh…” you just stayed quiet as Charlie introduced herself and shook your hand bringing you to the hotel so you can have a place to stay.

I feel like you were a new angel and only stayed for like 1 month…(free trial ass shit…) and so when you didn’t act holy and proper. That’s why you mostly got kicked out

Vaggie will know you are an angel because of your angelic look and golden eyes as you just stand there minding your business. You tell her you fell because you fought over your treasure….your trash practically. So Vaggie tells you what happened to her and you hugged her making her feel safe about herself a bit.

You two have matching bracelets you made from an exercise Charlie did.

Okay I headcannon that Lucifer is already in the hotel living with his daughter. And he felt your presence and he would be like. “Fuck are you doing here”🤨 “I fought for my life.”

Vox one time put you on air with him because of your golden shining eyes….i think he was flirting with you as you ate some gift cookies he made for you…

Velvette tried to make you a model, but you kept wandering off somehow. Literally she got tired of you but never of your face as she at least posted you wearing some nice 2000 makeup

Carmilla had a gut feeling about you being an angel. She wanted to kill you but then you gave her a ring you found in a dumpster because you said she reminded you of your earth mother/parent. Yeah she wanted to adopt you

You help sir Pentious, or who you call penny for his project builds. You dig in dumpster’s, trash bins, and garbage dumps

Angel dust and you sometimes just be on your phones all the time which is obnoxious. But hey, I don’t make the rules. Being on your phone makes it seem like you don’t want to be talked to which is true.

Lucifer made you a duck as he notciced how lonely you are….(you don’t give a fuck, you only need trash as your friends) so Lucifer made you 20 ducks that are based on your favorite things or like idk just ducks

The egg boiz follow you around as you literally calling you the, “TRASH BOSS!” Not in a bad way more like in admiration as you give them stuff from the garbage.

Your golden eyes shining in the night scaring husk as he didn’t even see you in his hind sight. Like he is a cat, but he didn’t even see you?!

You and alastor’s both eat weird things, like he is a cannibal….and for you..either trash or just normal weird food combos

Alastor would definitely try to get you to eat cannibal meat, but to be honest you can tell the difference between human and regular meat. You always know.

Niffty is the kind of person who would give you a trash flower crown, kinda like how she made a crown for Alastor ✨🦆

I headcannon your angelic/demon form to be a raccoon 💀

You send dumbass memes in the hazbin hotel gc…

You are quite the feral person tbh, but who didn’t know when you literally fought people for your damn trash.

You definitely had bit Valentino once as Angel dust brought you to a club and you were digging in trash to find something cool. But Valentino found you adorable in the face and wanted to make you a sex worker. And what did you do when he tried to hurt Angel?

YOU BIT HIS FUCKIN HAND ALMOST OFF AS ANGEL WAS TRYING TO PULL YOU OFF😭

Yeah..you definitely had blood dripping from your mouth when Angel dragged you out of the club

[bunnwich]

Rituals☁️(Leona x Reader)

Leona is low on spoons after the Tamashina-Mina tournament and needs some attention. Also what better way for him to sneakily court his favorite creature?

Curated from my 200k+ words Leona x Yuu fic

Characters: Leona Kingscholar x Yuu!Reader (GN. No physical description for Yuu. Yuu knows massage therapy.)

Words: 3k, 3rd person

Notes: I saw a meme the other day about how: “Liberalism leaves people’s bodies when mental health starts to affect someone’s hygiene” and I thought of how the fandom used to treat Leona. Also, I really wanted to make the “he uses you as a pillow” cliche not icky. 

Tagging: @comingyourlugubriousness @nammanarin @twst-the-night-away @twstinginthewind @ephemii @the-monday-witch @anevilbunnyinthehat @stagefullofsilly @theshipthatneversetsail @patrioticarcreactor @ice-cweam-sod4 @beaniz @the-nightingales-song @efsstash @cyn-write @porcelain-animatronic @lowcallyfruity @bestmannequin2018 @h0rr0r-10ver-69

-

It was baffling enough of a request that Leona Kingscholar invited Yuu to his home, but even more so was the thing he asked of them now.

“What? Am I your servant now, too?”

“No, course not.” He seemed deeply offended at this implication, nostrils flaring in indignance while his ears flopped backward against his hair. “I’m…askin’ you.” His ears flipped back up as he took a step closer, awaiting their response.

“Wait. You're serious…?” Yuu asked with a crinkle of their nose.

“Please…?” The word was barely audible, the man’s green-eyed stare never breaking from theirs. “If you’d be so kind…” He smirked, putting on an air, propping a hand on his hip. It was a warm day at the palace and he donned a pair of loose linen pants and a matching cream-colored tank top, all embroidered with gold.

Yuu swayed their head back and forth while they considered the idea, unimpressed by the sudden “princely” act. What was he up to? They gazed down at the object in their hand as if it held the answer. Well, it wasn’t often that they heard that word from Leona Kingscholar. “Fine, okay.” 

Was it really such a big deal, brushing his hair?

–

The hammock below the two of them swayed with both their weights as they sat face to face, each teetering on each edge of the colorful canvas. Late afternoon light filtered through the stained glass over all the greenery of the palace gardens, gilding everything it touched. 

Sighing, Yuu made another move, leaning forward to grab another section of the dark waves from the man’s shoulder. They hadn’t even ended up using the brush much so far. The only thing it had been good for was hitting the man when he talked back. 

“Well, the good news is…I got most of it.”

On their way here, Yuu grabbed their bag, bringing it with them to the gardens. Luckily, they kept a few favorites with them at all times. A small vial of rosehip oil; that would work. It could be used for both skin and hair in a pinch. Removing the dropper from the bottle they dripped some more into their palms, rubbing them together before applying it to the end of the man’s loose curls.

“Stinks.”

Yuu couldn’t help but roll their eyes at him. “It’s just rose. It’s nothing compared to that eye-watering cologne you bathe in every day. They sighed, working it through his thick tresses in the silence, pulling it all through to the ends of each section. “...I shouldn’t really be brushing it when it’s all tangled like this, you know.”

“Tch, I know that,” He said indignantly, his lips pressing into a small pout, eyes downcast to watch them work. “Everyone just assumes my hair is like my brother’s…”

They pressed their lips together. “Hmph. Then do it yourself, next time, huh? ” Letting out a huff, they released the bushel of soft curls, the dark curtain falling over Leona's neck. His hair honestly wasn’t as bad as he had made it seem. It just needed some moisture and careful detangling.

“Naw, why would I…when you’re already doing it for me.” The man reclined forward, propping his elbow on the canvas. “Mmm.” He watched them move on to the next section, meticulously separating the frizz and smoothing it over with the oil. Releasing a small sound in his throat,  he stared up at them with lethargic eyes, seemingly in a trance. 

Yuu shook their head at his comment, knowing that secretly he was just eating up the attention.  Keeping their eyes down on their work, they were careful not to pull too hard on his strands.

Leona muttered something as his lids fell completely closed, the end of his tail tapping on the edge of the hammock by their knee. A steady drumbeat.

They took their time with the rest, with only the noise of a few birds calling and Leona’s occasional sigh or grumble. It wasn’t long before, their lids lulled down too. It was relaxing in a way, quietly detangling someone’s hair.

Every once and a while their eyes flitted to the man’s face, catching the little twitch of the corner of his lips. After Yuu was done the detangling, they pulled two equal parts of the bottom sections forward, trying their best to get them even. They stuck their tongue out while they focused, before braiding them as neatly as they could manage, in the way he normally wore them. 

“There, you look more like yourself...” Yuu shrugged when they were done, tugging on one of the braids, and making sure the man wasn’t actually asleep.  “Better?” They crossed their arms, raising a brow over at him.

“Yeah.” The man opened his eyes slightly, the edge of his mouth falling into a crooked, but satisfied smile. “You did good.” His voice crackled just like the way a warm fire would. Like the bonfires at Savanclaw. He may have been sincere, but everything Leona said was always dipped in just a little bit of patronization.

Yuu palmed him on the forehead, pushing his face away slightly before letting their fingers drift up to his scalp, moving some of the hair out of his face.

“Hm?” He questioned, shifting slightly, turning his head to look up at what they were doing.

“Are you uh- still having those headaches?” They began to work their finger into his crown, between his twitching ears, pressing gently down on a few familiar pressure points. “I have to tell you, I’m the best.”

“I always have a headache when you're around.”  He sat up erect, suddenly seeming full of energy, grabbing their calves and yanking them closer to him, practically into his lap. He kept going until the backs of their legs were hooked over his thighs. He chuckled in delight at their bewildered deer-in-headlights reaction. 

Yuu froze at his boldness, pressing their lips together into a pout as they stared up at him with blinking eyes. 

“Don’t be all shy, now. Prove it. I think I got a big one coming on.” He purred at them.

Still playing, hm? “Hmph.” They huffed out a breath at his shenanigans.

Leona didn’t let them get far though, keeping his lock around their ankles, leaning over to study their reaction. “Feel free to say no.” He released them, holding his hands up innocently. “...If you’re not up to the task that is.” A bit of his white fangs gleamed as his sneer widened, leering at them through his dark lashes.

“You-” Yuu stuttered, resigning themselves. They were falling for it. This is what Leona was best at: pushing others into “proving themselves” by gently prodding them from their comfort zone.

“Fine.” Saying nothing more, they only lifted their hands to evaluate him once more, taking in a breath before tracing their fingers down the sides of his muscular neck. 

Ah, the man seemed a bit surprised to see them agree, but he quickly masked it with another smug smile as he lifted his jaw to accommodate them.

Leona’s skin was much warmer than theirs and surprisingly smooth, his excited pulse fluttering under their fingers. “Hm. You are tense.” They muttered aloud, pressing their thumb into one of the hard muscles there. “That hurt?”

“Ack, what do you think? Beast…” He hissed, his ears lowering slightly, grabbing their wrist to stop them.

Yuu smirked, most people didn’t expect that kind of strength from them…until they gave them a chance to prove it. “Sheesh, sorry you big baby. I was just askin’.” They rolled their eyes and swatted his nosy hand away. This allowed them to focus again, laying their palms on both of his broad shoulders. 

They could see it clearly now, his shoulders were rounded forward, and his left side was higher–signaling to them he probably held more tension there.

The man was studying them again, one grumpy eye barely open. 

Yuu chuckled, no one expects how much it hurts. Though as much as they enjoyed hurting the man, they went in softer this time, gently kneading his shoulders and neck, before they bothered to poke him anymore. As they worked closer to his jaw, they became enveloped in his signature smell. Traces of cinnamon, hints of orange, and star anise lingered on their fingertips as they explored his exposed skin, taking care to not pull on the golden necklace that hung from his neck.

“How…did you know?” Leona asked through a groan.

 They had hit the right spot.

“The way you walk, for one. You know, with your head forward. For royalty…your posture is terrible, you know. You heard Vil. Anyways, I can just tell by feeling most of the time.” Yuu added, continuing to work on the tightest areas first.

“Tch, you’re one to talk,” He said through his groans, brown ears flopping to the sides as he began to relax into their skilled touch. “...I recall us both getting reamed by Schoenheit at those practices.”

“Hey, I’m not the one on trial here. You asked for my expert opinion.” They continued, reaching around to the back of the man’s neck to rub circles in the base of his skull, moving up into his thick hair.

Leona made a rumbling noise in his chest at this, letting his head nod forward until he went completely limp in their hands. Somewhere, between the ticks of both their breaths, he had slumped his whole weight on them. A whole lion in their lap.

“Mmm.” He nuzzled his forehead against Yuu's shoulder, moving his hand from their calf up onto their arm, running a finger across the loose thread of their sleeve.

Yuu tensed, the man’s warm breath tickling their neck. It felt a little surreal to think such a powerful mage lay against them now like an oversized house cat. It was sort of an honor that he felt so relaxed around them. Sort of. 

They shook their head, trying not to giggle, and straightened their back to accommodate the new weight. Yuu kept on working as if nothing had changed, ignoring the fluttering in their guts that his soft breaths over their cheeks stirred. 

After they finished with his scalp, they worked back down to his shoulders, grabbing both of them and twisting them to one side, signaling wordlessly for the man to turn around for them. The hammock squeaked as he rearranged himself and Yuu pulled his head down into the center of their lap.  

Some people they had worked on, like Jack, could never fully relax for them, no matter how many times they reminded him to. However, the oxymoron of man before them seemed to have no problem flopping over like a sleepy kitten, ready to be petted. 

Going by cat behavior, he had shown them his belly, a small sliver peeking from the edge of his top. Now, with a completely malleable lion in their lap, Yuu couldn’t help but smile. He was totally at their mercy, moving whichever way they pulled him.

Their fingers made their way up and down his neck shoulders and even a bit of his chest, respecting the barrier of his tunic's low neckline.

Every once in a while, Leona’s lips tumbled open with a deep rumbling sigh of relief, pressing himself in their touch with each stroke, seeming to crave more and more. Their face grew hot, some part of this felt…too intimate. No, no. It was just a massage, but the man’s touch-starved reactions were becoming harder and harder to ignore.

 It was only when Yuu’s fingers reached up to his jaw did Leona open his eyes once more.

As their fingertips settled on the sides of his face, his shoulders went stiff under their care, Leona’s pulse ramping up for the first time during the massage.  His jaw tightened as they brought their fingers up to the temples of his grimacing face, trying to soothe him. 

He couldn’t be nervous now, could he?

“You…hold a lot of tension in your face too,”  They said calmly, urging his head to the right side, “Especially your…jaw.” They moved down to press their thumb into his cheek, easily finding the small, rigid muscle on the left side of his face.

The man grunted, “Easy.” 

Yuu shook their head again and eased up some. “...Just breathe.” They sighed, rolling their eyes as they massaged his jaw. “That right there is probably a big culprit of your headaches, you know.”

“Hmm,” He replied thoughtfully, his face softening some at their more gentle method. 

Their fingers worked each side of his face some more, then trailed slowly up his nose, rubbing circles across his sinuses. When they made their way up to his “third eye” area they rubbed extra hard to make a point, trying to get him to relax once more. “Sorry, just trying smooth out that permanent wrinkle you got there…”

Leona scoffed, dipping his head back into their touch, and closing his eyes shut again. “Tch, yeah well, every time I come home to visit it ages me five years, so...” He chuckled.

Yuu let out a light chuckle too, taking the strokes they made on the man’s cheeks upward and into his hairline, brushing against his scar a few times.

Leona’s forehead creased, an uncommon expression gracing his usually stern or sarcastic face. His broad nose curled in discomfort and they could see his eyes flicker anxiously under his lids. He was even holding his breath.

“Hey…Just breathe I told you!” They repeated with another soft laugh. “It helps with circulation.”

“Mmph.” The man said nothing and grunted at them before exhaling loudly. They would have thought they were doing something painful to him by his expressions.

Yuu tilted their head, realizing exactly what this was all about. They cupped their palms around his cheeks before dragging the stroke up, one of their fingertips running over the edge of his scar again to test the theory. 

The skin was dryer there and slightly raised. It created extra pull whenever they went over it. But, besides that…it was no different than any other part of his face. The Leona Kingscholar couldn’t be self-conscious, could he? No one ever really commented on it, and it surely did nothing but, to quote Rook: add to his “handsome and rugged charisma.”

But, the more they thought about it, they could understand why he was so dodgy about it. A memory like that, couldn’t have been pleasant.

The more times Yuu went over it they sensed a strange pull of energy from the area, like deep space. They were sure it was something the man had buried deep, so he could convince himself that he didn’t remember what actually happened anymore. 

Can’t remember every little scratch, he said once. How many people knew the real truth, they wondered. Or if there were any legends behind it in the palace.

“You don’t have ta’ touch it.” The man blurted out, trying to keep a straight face. His lips pressed together hard before he feigned a usual smug grin. “Though, I know that you’re a professional and all.”

“Wha-” Yuu almost wanted to roll their eyes at him for how dramatic he was being but, they didn’t. 

 “And- Why…would it bother me?” They asked casually, continuing the face massage as normal.

“Hmph.” Leona let out a huff, one side of his mouth arching upwards into a small smile. “I…see.” When he opened his eyes again, they were shiny, reflecting the tree tops around them. “Not many people have uh-”

 “Feel better?” Yuu lifted their hands from his face as they finished, saving him from the awkwardness of elaborating further. They had seen plenty enough to know how relieved he was at their response. That was enough.

“Mmhm.” He answered, clearing his throat before sitting up to face them again, the whole hammock groaning in response.  “....Thank ya.” He muttered, reaching behind to rub the back of his neck. “Much looser now-”

Leona sighed, eyebrows curving up over his eyes. Then, all at once his gaze snapped up to them, taking them in from head to toe. In one smooth movement, he let his body settle down against theirs, his strong shoulder pressing against them. 

Yuu’s heart hammered against his, mirroring the same fervid beat. No, this was more than just hair brushing. They hadn’t considered the implications until this moment, those of beastmen courtship and personal hygiene that they had read about. The concepts were often interlinked. Sacred.

A hug? No, he was just still just staring at them now, inches away, like a cat ready to pounce. The usual slits of his eyes were dark pools of space, reflecting back their own baffled expression. 

Yuu swallowed. They were so gridlocked by his intense stare, it was hard to speak or even breathe with him pressing them so firmly to the canvas hammock. He seemed at odds with something, his worn gaze downcast. “W-What…what’s wrong, Leona?” They whispered through an unsteady chuckle, managing to keep their head.

“Nothin’. Nothin’ at all.” He whispered, letting his weight sink further into them. There was a peaceful smile on his face as he reached up to grab a section of their hair from behind their ear, twisting it between his fingertips, tail flopping behind him lazily.

It felt like they were being chosen for something.

“Wha-” Their eyes widened, it took them a whole 30 seconds to realize the man was braiding the pieces together, calm and methodical, like when he was arranging his pieces on a chess board. Part of the plan. It was obvious Leona knew how to braid hair but it was…surreal to behold it.

When he was done the corner of his mouth turned up more, creasing a dimple into his cheek. His eyes fixated on the sight of his results, he was so…proud of his work.

Yuu didn’t even have time to speak before he turned his head away, lying his cheek on one side of their shoulder once more. He had done it so casually as if he had done it a hundred times before and would do it a hundred times more.

They understand why he did it, the two of them were…a matching set now.

He chose them. Their heart squeezed as the man draped his arms around their waist, locking them in place once more as something shifted between them.

 Leona’s cocky air had all but dissipated. “...Is this okay with ya?” He muttered so softly they almost missed it. He was asking permission, asking if they would accept him.

“Oh um…Y-yes.” They let their arms fall around his back, tugging on the end of his curls as they held him. Yes, he was getting way too comfortable, but it was their fault for allowing it, right? Yuu laid their head on his, letting him know for sure that: yes, it was okay.

“Hey, I know you're not falling asleep right now.” They grumbled playfully, tugging on his hair and furrowing their brow. Meanwhile, they curled their legs around his torso like a koala as he held them tight, making sure there was no space between them.

They knew it was all a lost cause. He had set the board how he wanted. He would not let them go again, and they didn’t want him to.

“Shh,” Leona mumbled into their shirt, inhaling deeply. “ You’ve been real workin’ lately hard, right? Rest wit’ me.”

“But I-” Yuu yawned, their eyes watering some as they did. The action had forced their eyes shut. The breeze also was not helping, rocking them both gently inside the hammock.  “Fine. But just for a little while.” They breathed out, their own shoulders finally relaxing. Yuu’s head slumped over to gently bob against Leona’s. 

“You win…this time.”

The man only chuckled at their admission of defeat, a warm note buzzing against their chest. 

The last thing they saw was the colored glass of the greenhouse, filtering in pink light through the serrated leaves of the palm trees.

Leona’s sighs of contentment traveled through their body, as his warm fingers kneaded into their back. 

--

[emphistic]

Interlude

A/N: did i write this in half an hour? yes. am i crazy? of course.

"Ah ah ah. I never said you could leave yet."

You immediately stopped in your tracks upon hearing a familiar deep, raspy voice at your back, coming from the confines of your shared bed.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

You whipped your head around, and were met with a set of half-lidded eyes in a shade of deep red. Their owner was propped up on one elbow atop the messy sheets, yawning loudly before running his long fingers through his unruly locks.

Sukuna was never a morning person, and his shifts always started later in the afternoon, so he always used it to his advantage.

Blinking once, twice, thrice, as you nervously averted your gaze away from your very enticing boyfriend, who only continued to stare at you sleepily.

The thought of going back to lay in your comfortable, warm bed was already something you wanted to do terribly, but adding Sukuna into the mix, too? This was like trying to drain the sea.

Merely one look at the pink-haired man, who was only covered waist-down by the blankets on his legs, was enough to pull you back beneath the covers and curl into his side.

However, you had already called sick two times in only a fortnight, and those bills were not going to pay themselves.

Unfortunately for you, or not unfortunately, you and Sukuna had been over this many times. Sukuna always told you, "I don't understand why you keep going back to that shitty job anyway. Just let me take care of you back in my place, I provide substantially for the both of us, anyway."

And besides, there really wasn't a way out for you no matter what.

Sukuna had had so many clients back-to-back lately, that he was forced to stay at the tattoo shop for nights on end. On top of that, Choso was unavailable for God knows why, so Sukuna had to fill in for him as well. And if that wasn't enough, sessions would take longer than expected because clients just wouldn't stop flirting with him, moving or twitching, accidentally messing up his work, talking so obnoxiously to the point Sukuna couldn't even pay attention, etc.

Only recently — just the night before, he was finally granted the chance to come home to you.

And you best believe he was going to spend every hour, minute, and second reminding you that you were his, and his only.

Not even your job's employee, apparently. Sorry not sorry.

But, it's not like you wanted to leave him anyway. You had missed Sukuna as much as he had missed you, if not more.

Phone calls while he was on break, sending memes through your text messages, playing together on Game Pigeon, FaceTimes while eating lunch together, were your only escapes from the sad, miserable Adult Life, into just Sukuna and You World.

"Baby, you know I have to. But I'll be back before you know it, okay? And besides, you need the free time. They've been working you nonstop—"

"I'm fine, not even tired. Don't you dare worry your pretty little head about me. As for free time . . ," Sukuna's held a mischievous glint to them, "how about you spend my free time with me?"

You bit your lip, in contemplation. Although you knew, clear as day, what would happen in the end despite everything.

Deciding to make a run for it, you swung your legs over the bed and planted your bare feet on the freezing-cold floor of your apartment. But before you could even stand up, a thick arm swiftly made its way around your waist and pulled you back to meet a hard, bare chest.

Sukuna was now sitting up.

You lightly gasped, as he brought his lips to your ear, his warm breath tickling your skin.

"Don't think you can run away from me just yet, doll. I haven't seen you in days, and I'm not going to be apart from you for another second."

You squirmed in his grasp, but when you realized his strong hold around your middle wasn't going to let up any time soon, you sighed, and, left with no choice, only slumped back against his chest.

Sukuna grinned, victorious, once again.

The rays of the early sun filtered through the cheap window blinds, and you fluttered your eyelashes, squinting to hide away from the inevitable.

"Yeahh," Sukuna laughed, "that's right, princess. Just listen to me from now on."

You frowned, turning your head around to narrow your eyes at Sukuna.

"Now, what can we do with all this free time? I'm thinking we should try something new." Sukuna raised a brow teasingly, twisting your body around and settling you onto his lap with your thighs on either side of his.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself, mister. I'm only staying for five more minutes," you crossed your arms.

Sukuna placed both of his large hands on your hips; it seemed like that was their default resting spot. Every chance he got, they would always end up there. No matter the setting or occasion.

Sukuna let out a deep laugh, "We'll see about that."

-

"Five minutes? You said? Either way, I don't think you're even able to move your legs at this point and walk out of this room."

"S'kuna, you're—ngh—not funny!" Your nipples hardened, and rubbed raw against the material of your shirt.

You braced yourself by placing both hands on the headboard, but it didn't look like anything could help stable you now.

Sukuna licked a stripe up your dampening clit.

Your situation wasn't looking too good. It didn't help that your asshole of a boss just had to call you right then and there.

[wrightingdungeon]

SDV Bachelor domestic headcanons

MDNI

Just some headcanons, not anything nsfw but they are adults, and I hit the zaaaaa so these will be dumb, like dumb dumb

Alex:

He has full-on elbowed you when he woke up a few times. Forgive him he's not used to sleeping with someone and he likes to stretch when he wakes up. 

If you have a dog he’s definitely buying one of those running leashes, the one that goes around the hips. Who will tire who out first?

Usually the dog gives out first, and he carries them back home cooing at them like they are a baby… they are

Modifies your home with Robin's help so George and Evelyn can visit

Evelyn, how did you feed this boi? He’s burning through calories 

Especially after helping pick up the farm work…. Sweaty Alex… Cowboy lookin fine ass… Horny jail….

Elliott:

Journals EVERYWHERE, all of them have different ideas, title workings, and little ideas that just popped into his head.

Sits on the front porch head in hand watching you pick fruit, mumbling something like

From tiny seeds to branches high. With gentle hands, they pluck the prize.

Loves to shower with you, he just holds you helps wash your hair, and scrubs your back. Tell you how pretty/handsome you are.

Bought you both matching bathrobes

Tell me he doesn't sleep with a bonnet, look at that silky hair. 

Matching silk pillowcase as well

I imagine this man is a mover in his sleep, and wakes up lookin like the Peter Griffin dead pose meme

Harvey:

The first night yall are married he cant sleep, he's just watching you. Playing with your hair giggling like he was high, he was high of how happy he was.

Has just as many self-care products if not more then Elliott, his mustache looks sculpted, you don't get that look without gel and a little mustache comb

He has a little pocket mustache comb you bought him as a joke but he loves it

Wears an apron when he cooks. Wait where did his go? Why is there a maid one in its place.... Horny Jail....

Charges you for passing out or almost dying to fund his therapy visits, you caused this farmer, look at the gray hairs.

Silver fox Harvey that's all I'm saying

Sebastian:

Good luck getting out of bed, hes like a fuckin backpack

Wakes up eyes not even open just pawing around for whatever hes trying to find.

Eyes are all bloodshot cus he was up all night working, sitting on the porch with his coffee, smoking, petting your pet

Doesn't fully wake up till about high noon

Helps out on the farm, but still does his own thing.

Stays out late with Sam and Abigail practicing for their upcoming gig, you both usually see each other returning home around one am

Momma Boi still goes to Robins for dinner every now and again

Sam:

Puppy at your heels, you go one way hes there. Forgot something? Turn around and trip over his feet

Loves living on the farm with you because now he can crank the tunes all the way up, and you can hear his speakers while you're in the field

Falls asleep anywhere, the porch, the couch, lying down in the grass with the dog/cat

If you cooked it hes eating it, he does the same for his mom

When Kent is back he babysits Vincent some nights

Speaking of, when he Vincent and Jas all get together good luck on the unsuspecting person about to get pranked.

Shane

Its law you adopt Jas, i said it, it cant be broken

Taking Jas to school, returning and helping you with the farm

He and Jas chant “Pizza,Pizza,Pizza” over and over when you ask what is for dinner

Warm, squishy, cuddly, bear hugs in the morning. Hes another backpack boi

When he's awake though, unless you are at home, light PDA

Works with Haley to learn his video camera more, its another hobby to keep him busy

First time seeing you wearing one of his shirts, the shirt is no longer on you… Horny Jail…

[sarawayne0510]

Girl Dinner

pairing: George russell x kpop idol! reader

summary: In the fast-paced world of Formula 1, George Russell finds an unexpected escape in Y/N, a Le Sserafim member known for her captivating food vlogs

word count: idk

Genre: SMAU/Fluff

Inspired by my fav youtuber doobydobap <3

George sighed as he sank into the soft cushions of his living room couch, finally able to relax after a long day at the track. His phone buzzed in his hand—another meme from Lando, something about who’s the better driver this week. George rolled his eyes and swiped it away. He was tired of the constant comparisons, the endless questions. Every interview felt like another round of “Who’s better at this or that?” Sometimes, he just needed a break from it all.

He opened YouTube, aimlessly scrolling for something different. His eyes landed on a video thumbnail of a table filled with delicious-looking food, and a girl grinning beside it. The title caught his attention: My Guide to the BEST Street Food in Seoul.

“Why not,” George muttered to himself, tapping on the video.

The screen came to life with vibrant shots of Seoul’s bustling street food scene. Y/N was walking through the streets, introducing various foods with a bright, excited energy. George was immediately hooked. There was something about the way she talked—effortless, funny, and completely herself.

She picked up a small snack, inspecting it before taking a bite. "They’re much smaller than the big ones that are filled with roe," she said, holding up the dish with a mischievous smile, "but just because it's small doesn’t mean it ain’t tasty—and that applies to many things." She winked at the camera, making George choke on his water mid-sip.

He sat up straighter, a grin forming on his face. “What did I just stumble into?”

The video continued with her taking massive bites, describing each dish with vivid details that somehow made George’s mouth water, even though he wasn’t usually into food videos. But it wasn’t just the food—it was her personality. She had this way of making everything seem light and fun, as if the whole world was just a giant playground of flavors.

George leaned back, a smile tugging at his lips. For the first time in a while, he wasn’t thinking about racing or interviews. Just food... and her.

Y/N’s POV

The cameras were rolling, capturing every moment as Y/N and Yunjin stood in front of a colorful street food stall. Today’s challenge for Le Sserafim’s YouTube channel was a mix of dares and foodie adventures, and Yunjin was ready to dive in.

“Welcome back, everyone!” Y/N cheered into the camera. “Today, Yunjin and I are taking on the ultimate street food dare. We’ve got some spicy dishes and a few random dares to complete. Ready, Yunjin?”

Yunjin grinned, nervously holding a skewer of spicy tteokbokki. “Ready as I’ll ever be!”

The first dare popped up on Y/N’s phone: Talk about something you’re passionate about while eating something spicy.

Y/N took a large bite of the tteokbokki, her eyes widening at the heat. “Alright, here we go. So, I’ve got this major passion for cars. I’m fascinated by everything from the sleek designs to the roar of the engines. If I weren’t doing food vlogs and idol stuff, I’d probably be somewhere working with cars. I love the speed, the engineering—just the whole vibe of it.”

Yunjin laughed, struggling to keep her composure as the spice hit her. “You and your cars! I’ve seen you talk about them all the time. And speaking of busy, we’ve got a lot to do before our next tour. Packing, rehearsals... it’s going to be a whirlwind.”

Y/N nodded, wiping her forehead. “Yeah, it’s going to be hectic, but it’s worth it. And who knows, maybe I’ll get a chance to drive something amazing before we head out.”

The challenge continued with both of them trying various spicy dishes and completing their dares, their laughter and camaraderie shining through. The video wrapped up with Y/N and Yunjin excitedly discussing their upcoming tour and the busy schedule ahead.

George’s POV

George was sprawled on the couch in his hotel room, catching a break after the Suzuka GP. His phone buzzed with new content, and he opened one of Y/N’s food vlogs out of curiosity. He was halfway through when Yuki Tsunoda burst into the room with a couple of drinks and a big grin.

“Hey, George!” Yuki exclaimed. “Mind if I join you for a bit?”

“Of course not,” George replied, gesturing to the couch. “I was just watching this food vlogger. She’s really something.”

Yuki flopped down next to him and glanced at the screen. His eyes widened as he recognized Y/N. “Wait, is that Y/N? The food vlogger?”

George nodded, still engrossed in the video. “Yeah, she’s got this great style. I didn’t expect her to be so... engaging.”

Yuki’s expression shifted to one of excitement. “You know, I’ve got to tell you something. You might find this interesting.”

George looked up, curious. “Oh? What’s up?”

Yuki leaned in, a mischievous smile on his face. “So, Y/N... she’s actually a member of a famous K-pop group.”

George blinked in surprise. “What? Are you serious?”

Yuki nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, she’s in Le Sserafim. I didn’t realize you didn’t know. She’s huge worldwide”

George’s eyes widened. “No way. I had no idea. She’s just been this really cool food vlogger to me.”

Yuki chuckled. “Yeah, she’s got this whole other side to her. You should see their music videos. They’re amazing.”

George was intrigued. “You know what, let’s watch some of their stuff.”

Yuki grinned and pulled out his laptop, navigating to Le Sserafim’s music videos. They started with a recent MV, and as the vibrant visuals and catchy beats filled the room, George found himself captivated. Y/N’s stage presence was magnetic, and he was surprised by how much he enjoyed it.

As they moved through the videos, George’s initial surprise turned into admiration. “Wow, I had no idea she was such a star. She’s incredible.”

Yuki nodded. “Yeah, she really is. And she’s so down-to-earth. I think you might be more into her now, huh?”

George laughed, a little embarrassed. “You could say that. She’s definitely caught my attention in a whole new way.”

They spent the next hour watching various clips, George becoming more engrossed in Y/N’s multifaceted talent. By the end of their impromptu viewing session, he was thoroughly impressed and even more intrigued by her.

When the viewing session ended, George picked up his phone and hesitated for a moment before searching for Y/N’s Instagram account. With a smile, he hit the follow button, feeling a newfound connection to the talented and intriguing woman behind the food vlogs.

@georgerussell63

Liked by yukitsunoda0511,alex_albon,pierregassly and others

@georgerussell63 I'm mess in distress but still the best dressed

Thank u @yukitsunoda0511 for the pics🐥

Comments

@alex_albon you went to THE le sserafim consert without me!? Here I thought we were friends

@yukitsunoda0511 😼

@user119 george in his oppa era?🧐

@pierregasly ofc yuki took the pictures u could never take aesthetic picture like that

@user143 wait george be looking extra scrumdelicious lately

@user66 why know one told me george listens to le sserafim 🫢 because that's my mother in 2nd slide

@(your_username)

Liked by @georgerussell63,Calvinklein,jenaissante,le_sserafim and others

@(your_username) Feeling incredibly grateful for the opportunity to work with @CalvinKlein. Thank you for letting me be a part of your incredible collection

George POV

George was in the paddock, taking a moment to relax and scroll through Instagram on his phone. The usual buzz of activity surrounded him as teams prepared for the next race, but George was lost in his own world, scrolling through his feed.

He stumbled across a post from Calvin Klein featuring Y/N in their latest campaign. The photos were stunning—Y/N looked absolutely breathtaking , modern outfits. George’s eyes widened in awe as he saw the images of her effortlessly posing and exuding confidence.

Unable to contain his excitement, George let out an involuntary shout. “Oh my—”

A few of the other drivers, including Yuki, glanced over at him, intrigued by his reaction. Yuki’s lips curled into a knowing smile as he watched George’s enthusiastic response. He had seen George’s interest in Y/N grow over time and found the situation amusing.

Yuki chuckled softly, catching George’s eye. “Looks like someone’s having a fanboy moment,” he teased, fully aware of the reason behind George’s excitement.

George barely registered Yuki’s comment. His mind was racing, and Without a moment's hesitation, His excitement grew as he remembered that Calvin Klein had invited him to their upcoming party. This was the perfect opportunity to get involved, especially with the new collection making waves.

He couldn’t wait any longer. George bolted to his manager’s office, bursting through the door with so much energy that his manager nearly jumped out of his chair.

“H-Hey, George!” his manager stammered, wide-eyed, visibly startled by the sudden entrance. “What’s—what’s happening?”

“I just saw the Calvin Klein collection!” George blurted out, barely able to contain himself. “And we need to say yes to that party invite. Now!”

His manager, still trying to gather himself, blinked rapidly, stumbling over his words. “O-O-Okay! Y-Yes, right away! I’ll...I’ll handle it, no problem.”

George’s enthusiasm didn’t waver as he grinned. “Good! Make it happen!”

The Calvin Klein party was buzzing with energy, fashion icons and celebrities filling the room. George, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness, casually sipped his drink as he scanned the room. But then, he saw her—Y/N, effortlessly stunning, standing near a group of people, laughing and engaging in conversation.

It felt as though time had slowed down. The music faded into the background, the buzz of the party muffled, as his gaze locked onto her. Something about the way she carried herself, the confidence and grace, left him frozen in place. His heart pounded in his chest, and he knew he had to talk to her. Gathering every ounce of courage, he walked over.

“Hi,” George said, voice surprisingly steady despite the excitement coursing through him.

Y/N turned, her eyes meeting his, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. The intensity of their connection hit both of them like a tidal wave. She smiled warmly, and it was as if the world shrunk down to just the two of them.

“Hey, George Russell, right?” Y/N asked, her tone light but with a sparkle of recognition in her eyes.

He grinned, nodding. “Yeah, that’s me. I... uh... saw your Calvin Klein shoot. You absolutely killed it.”

“Thank you!” she laughed softly, clearly flattered. “I’ve actually been getting into Formula 1 recently, so it’s crazy to meet you here.”

His heart skipped a beat. “No way, really? You’ve been watching the races?”

“Yeah,” she said, her eyes lighting up. “It’s fascinating—especially seeing how everything works behind the scenes. The adrenaline, the speed, it’s so intense.”

George felt the connection deepening. They fell into easy conversation, bouncing between their mutual love for fashion, traveling, and fast cars. Every word she spoke made George feel as if he had known her forever. They shared so many of the same interests, and the more they talked, the more captivated he became. Time flew by without them even noticing.

As the party began to wind down, George hesitated for a brief moment but decided to go for it. “I’ve really enjoyed talking with you tonight. Would you—uh, if you’re free, want to come to the Austrian Grand Prix? I think you’d really love it. Maybe I could show you around the paddock?”

Y/N’s eyes lit up, a soft smile playing on her lips. “I’d love that.”

@(your_username) Posted a story!

"What a wonderful night @georgerussell63"

After the Calvin Klein party, George and Y/N stayed in touch almost every day. At first, it was casual—sharing memes, discussing travel plans, and talking about their busy schedules.

George and Y/N always seemed to do a quick call between meetings, or FaceTime sessions whenever they could. Most often, Y/N would call him while she was cooking, her love for food shining through in every dish she made.

“Guess what I’m making tonight,” Y/N teased one evening, the sound of pots and pans clinking in the background as her camera showed her busy kitchen.

George leaned back in his chair, a smile tugging at his lips. “Let me guess…something delicious?”

Y/N laughed, giving the camera a little wink. “You know it. But you’ll have to wait and see. Maybe I’ll send you a plate.”

He couldn’t help but admire how much passion she had for cooking. He’d watch as she diced vegetables or stirred sauces, completely in her element. The sight of her in the kitchen, focused and happy, made his heart swell.

Sometimes, he’d even join her. They’d both be in their own kitchens, cooking the same meal during their FaceTime calls. George wasn’t the best cook, but with her guidance, he managed to whip up a few decent dishes.

“You’re doing great,” Y/N would encourage, laughing as he fumbled with a pan. “Maybe next time, you’ll cook for me in person.”

“That’s a deal,” George replied with a grin, his eyes never leaving hers on the screen.

Somewhere along the way, admiration had quietly morphed into something deeper. Something that felt a lot like love.

George’s POV

The Austrian GP was finally here, and George couldn’t shake the nervous excitement he felt knowing Y/N would be watching him live from the paddock. He had invited her to the race weeks ago, and now it was happening. After arriving at the circuit, George quickly texted her:

George: Hey! You here? I’ll come get you.

A few moments later, he spotted her in the paddock, looking effortlessly chic in her Mercedes team pass, smiling when she saw him. He guided her through the chaos of the paddock and into the serene comfort of the Mercedes hospitality suite.

“Welcome to my world,” George said with a grin.

Y/N beamed back. “This is insane! Everything looks so different in person.”

They spent the pre-race together, George showing her around, explaining the details of what went on behind the scenes, and making sure she was comfortable.

“Good luck out there,” Y/N whispered, as he headed to his car. She didn’t realize how much she truly cared for him until she saw the determination in his eyes. The feelings that had slowly bloomed over the weeks felt undeniably real now.

The lights went out, and the Austrian GP was underway. George drove like a man possessed—each lap faster, smoother, more precise. Y/N watched from the Mercedes suite, her heart pounding with every corner he took. It was a fierce race, with George battling for the top spot. And then, in a thrilling final lap, he overtook his rival, crossing the finish line first.

Cheers erupted around the track, but George’s eyes immediately searched for her. As the podium celebrations began, champagne spraying everywhere, he stood at the top, a wide grin on his face. His gaze never left Y/N. In that moment, he wasn’t just celebrating the win—he was sharing it with her.

The celebration was in full swing. Music pulsed through the club, and George couldn’t keep his eyes off her—not that he even tried. They had been glued to each other since the moment they stepped inside. With every beat of the music, every sway of her body next to his, George felt the tension between them build.

Y/N was radiant, her energy infectious as they danced together, their movements synced as if they had done this a hundred times before. There were other people around them, fellow drivers, friends, and fans, but to George, the room had blurred into a haze. It was just them. Every laugh, every smile, every brush of her skin against his sent a jolt through him.

At one point, she leaned into his ear to say something, her breath warm against his skin. He couldn’t even remember what she said, just the way her voice made his heart race. They moved together on the dance floor, effortlessly, like they had done this all their lives.

As the night wore on, neither could bear to leave the other’s side. They were locked in this invisible pull, their bodies close, their hands occasionally brushing. It felt like the world outside didn’t exist—just the two of them, wrapped up in the magic of the night.

On their way back to George’s condo, the car ride was quiet, but the air between them buzzed with unspoken words. Y/N glanced at him every now and then, a soft smile playing on her lips, and George couldn’t help but grin back.

As the car pulled up to his place and Y/N reached for the door handle, George, feeling the weight of the moment, decided to take a leap. He cleared his throat and with a small, mischievous grin, said, “Ramyeon meokgo gallae?” in his best, slightly awkward, British-accented Korean.

Y/N froze for a second, her hand pausing on the door, before she burst into laughter. “Did you just…?”

He chuckled, his face warm. “Yeah, I thought I’d give it a try.”

She shook her head, still laughing softly. “You’re adorable.”

The tension that had been building all night finally cracked, and as Y/N smiled at him, George knew that whatever happened next would change everything. She stepped back inside the car, shutting the door behind her, and leaned closer to him, her eyes sparkling.

And from there, the rest was history.

@(your_username)

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, alex_albon, georgerussell63, @jenaissante

@(your_username) girl dinner ✨️

Comments has been limited

@alex_albon really the person who burned the water

@jenaissante this girl is down bad

@lilymhe u are coming to williams garage next time and that's final

THANK YOU FOR READING <3

[stall1iion]

champions love - six

liked by maxverstappen1, logansargeant, bsf1, bsf2, and many others 

y/n.jpg nice to be back home for the weekend

tagged: bsf1, bsf2

view all comments

logansargeant happy fourth y/n 💀🤣

⤷y/n.jpg Logan! Pull up man

⤷logansargeant am I being invited to the cookout?

⤷y/n.jpg I- 💀🤣sure Logan, just text me 

bsf1 we look so hot omg 😍🥵

⤷y/n.jpg we do 🤭

⤷bsf2 was that even a question? 🤭🤭

lilymhe 😔i miss you wifey  

⤷y/n.jpg i miss you too! Don’t worry I’ll be back next week 🫶🏾

⤷alexalbon um? Wifey? 😐

⤷y/n.jpg call me Mr. Steal your bitch 😋

maxverstappen1 will you bring me back some food? 

⤷y/n.jpg so needy 🙄😂 yeah I’ll bring you a plate but you do know you could just come? 

⤷maxverstappen1 oh- you so right 

username5 happy Fourth of July Y/n! 

username9 omg will we potentially get pictures of Logan finally being around people who care about him? 

⤷username12 💀moot what you being messy for? 

username7 stop this friend group is so hot and for what? 

liked by maxverstappen1, logansargeant, f1wags, and many others

y/n.jpg no one told me I would be dealing with two unhinged blondes 😭😞free me 

tagged: bsf1, bsf2, logansargeant 

view all comments 

bsf2 we are not unhinged 

⤷logansargeant agreed 😁

⤷bsf1 yes you two are 

⤷y/n.jpg you both decided it would be a good idea to climb into a baby swing and got stuck 💀😐

⤷logansargeant that did not happen?? 

⤷y/n.jpg tell that to the fire station that cut you out 💀

username4 omg 🤣he actually pulled up 

maxverstappen1 help is on the way dear!! 

⤷y/n.jpg did you just 😍quote a meme to me 🤭

⤷logansargeant oh good god 💀plz keep this pg 13 there’s kids on here 

⤷y/n.jpg girl…fuck them kids 🤭and fuck you too 🖕🏾

username7 and where’s max? Like how is some guy who can't even drive around my girl alone?

⤷username88 ooo yeah it's giving insecure, good luck to any person you date

username76 are we just going to ignore that Logan and Ashley got stuck in a baby swing 💀

⤷username103 and the fire department had to cut them out 💀

⤷logansargeant yes

⤷bsf2 yes we are

username9 see if I was max i wouldn’t let some guy be all cozy with my girl like that 

⤷username5 friend what are you talking about? What cozying you see bc i see logan getting cozy with Ashley if that’s what you mean 

username2 so um, anyone else getting chemistry from Logan and her best friend??

⤷username10 oh my god yes, thank you, I thought I was the only one 😭

⤷username23 stop 😵i hope not, they lowkey look like siblings 

⤷username55 STOP WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT LMAO??

53,351 likes 

y/n.jpg Proud to have introduced the boys to the y/n version of 7/4 🫡happy 7/4 to america 💋

view all comments 

username7 NOT AMERICAN BUT HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! 

username9 not the max picture cuz ppl was talking shit on the last photo 💀

⤷username2 logan looks like he’s either third wheeling or being babysat 💀😂

username10 HAPPY 7/4

username4 HAPPY 7/4

username33 HAPPY 7/4

username69 HAPPY 7/4

username74 HAPPY 7/4

username99 RAWWWW 🦅HAPPY INDEPENDENCE TO THE BEST COUNTRY 

⤷username98 they gon get you girl but real💀

bsf1 AHHH WE LOOK SO GOOD IN THE LAST PHOTO, W AURAAAAAA

bsf2 WHERE ARE YOU?? WE’RE TRYING TO TAKE A TRIO PIC WITH THE FIREWORKS?? 

⤷bsf1 OH MY GOD TURN AROUND!!! 

⤷username77 WHAT’S GOING ON?? WHAT ARE WE MISSING?? 

⤷username61 SHOW IT TO US PLEASE!! SHOW IT TO US RACHEL! 

caption: look at these lovebirds over here 💀

⤷bsf1 she’s gonna kill you once she sees this 

⤷bsf2 she was the one who kissed him 💀and she can’t even lie and say she was possibly drunk this time 

⤷bsf2 miss “I don’t date drivers” 

comments 

F1lover stop ✋ maybe she’s just busy and will fly in the day of the race

loveuy/n she looks good tho 😭what was she even doing??

lo3vmax maybe she has practice? 

⤷mrssainz yeah but max hasn’t said anything about her not coming yet 

y/nhater I don’t know maybe she finally realized their little pr relationship isn’t working anymore 

winter<3 she looks really hungover, maybe she was waiting before flying so she wouldn’t have to deal with that

→ DUH DUH DUH!!! We have names for our best friends now! 💀(I did not mean for that to happen lol) 

→ If you want, we can vote on the other best friend’s name! Send in a request for names and we can poll!! 

Anyways back to normal programing 

→ Yes the cookout is a reference to a black cookout but you can take that as a normal bbq 

→ Logan x Ashley? 👀we’ll see 

→ Logan is officially a part of the gang yay!!  

→ Yes, Y/N did in fact block Max after the kiss (she left immediately and screamed in her pillow for at least 30 minutes) 

→ Is Y/n going to Silverstone?? I guess we’ll never know…..jk you’ll know in the next chapter mwah 💋

Author’s note! 

I finished this up faster than I thought I would 💀I originally planned to wait till July 4th to actually post this but then I was like…nahhhh next chapter will have the race, max and y/n talking (more denial yay! 😁) I now get why writers love the good old miscommunication, it’s so much fun to write 😈 

taglist: @boiohboii @ale-522 @ietss @theseerbetweenus @jaxx-7 @sainzluvrr @the-untamed-soul @ashy-kit @hc-dutch @nichmeddar @delululeclerc @sweate-r-weathe-r @dhanihamidi @tellybearryyyy @luvsforme @samantha-chicago @theblueblub

༉‧₊˚  CHAMPIONS LOVE ༉‧₊˚

⤷ Following the messy breakup between Max Verstappen and Kelly Piquet, Max’s manager comes up with a solution to divert the attention – a fake relationship. His new girlfriend? Two time olympic gold medalist figure skater, y/n for the USA team. Easy? Well…

[spacerockfloater]

hi! i noticed you learnt about what ryan condal said regarding blood and cheese. it was…something. i would like to know your thoughts on the matter. though it would be completely understandable if you need sometime to gather them together or if you would rather not at all! thank you and bye!

Hello beloved, thank you so much for asking me! I’d love to share my opinion!

If anyone’s wondering, @rhaenelle is referring to this interview where Ryan Condal essentially says he believes that Blood & Cheese’s brutality and heinousness was exaggerated by the Greens in a propagandistic attempt to convince their subjects that Rhaenyra and Daemon are the worst villains ever born, hence why he toned the event down; to show us what he thinks is the accurate version of Jaehaerys’ murder.

Now, I am aware that Condal had already warned us that HOTD was going to be a feminist retelling of the events of F&B, which practically means that his plan has always been to whitewash the everlasting fuck out of Rhaenyra. So what do I think about this?

Well, for starters, I think that Ryan Condal is an excellent businessman. He knows what kind of tropes are going to make the audience engage with his show. He understands that people need a hero to cheer for and a villain to hate, therefore he removed the moral ambiguity from all of the characters and divided them into two categories: the Blacks, enlightened revolutionaries full of passion, deserving of admiration and correct in everything they do, and the Greens, pious fools with a moral superiority complex who are stack in the ways of the past and commit despicable crimes. The average viewer does not possess the intelligence to comprehend that both parties have their good and bad moments, and that they’re both correct in fighting for what each believes is rightfully theirs. Simultaneously, he benefits from the modern trends that want women in media to take revenge when they are wronged and emerge as triumphant girlbosses, because of course a white upper class woman’s suffering in a western world (or Westeros) society has everything to do with her gender and nothing to do with her personality or decisions (even if this works solely for Rhaenyra, because Alicent seems to be held accountable for every single one of her actions). Finally, it is obvious that Condal is trying to appease disgruntled Daenerys fans, so he has rebuilt Rhaenyra into this tortured martyr that wishes to change the world for the better in an attempt to make her resemble her great granddaughter six times removed.

For all of these reasons, I find it very logical that he is going out of his way to minimise the tragedy the Greens experience. It just doesn’t make Rhaenyra look good and honestly, who wants that? The producers saw how unhappy Danny’s stans were when they made her lose her shit; they’re not going to make the same mistake twice. They don’t want their show to tank like the last season of GOT did, so they’ll do everything in their power to keep the audience happy. And it’s working! What’s the last thing Condal says in this clip? “You kinda start rooting for [Blood and Cheese]!” and boy oh boy, the TB stans sure do! Literally hundreds of memes that rejoiced at Jaehaerys’ death were posted on X this week, with tens of thousands of likes. But when Lucerys died, it was presented as the most foul thing to ever happen in the ASOIAF universe. It is the TB supporters that dictate which child murder is good and which is bad, and that decision usually depends on which child came out Rhaenyra’s womb, not let’s say, the fact that one kid was a toddler that could barely walk, while the other was a teenager that laughed at the disabled person he mutilated himself.

It’s all just marketing

That being said, I want to clarify that I understand why Condal and the HOTD producers do what they do, but being a good entrepreneur does not necessarily make you a literary genius. Now, I’m not gonna explain why stripping Rhaenyra off of every character trait that made her interesting is a bad decision and that in their attempt to remove the blame from her so that they can elevate her as this righteous patron of feminism, they’re accidentally removing all of her agency and turning her simply into a victim, because I have a whole blog dedicated to that. But let’s just say that presenting Rhaenyra as this sexually liberated idol that’s incapable of evil, when in fact she’s an entitled aristocrat who’s completely at the mercy of men around her, from her father to her husbuncle, is the most performative activism move ever pulled in recent TV history, as well as pushing the narrative that Alicent suffers from internalised misogyny because duh, a woman can only be good and a feminist if she supports Rhaenyra, not when she pursues her own interests.

Ultimately, I think we just have to accept that this show is not meant for TG fans. We are not going to find any satisfaction in it. Everything that was unique and admirable about the Greens in the book has vanished. Their family dynamic is fucked up, Alicent’s children hate her, Aegon and Halaena cannot stand one another, Alicent is constantly a victim and never someone that chases her own ambitions, Halaena is very vague, Aemond appears to be more angsty than angry, Aegon is a stupid rapist, Jaehaerys’ death was turned into a mockery, Alicole was weaponised in order to make us shit on Alicent and Criston even more and so on. This show barely caters to us because we’re not making them any money.

The reason that there are more TB than TG stans is because (I’m gonna get so much fucking hate for this) most people who watch TV are fucking morons. I swear, when F&B came out 6 years ago, no one gave a flying fuck about Rhaenyra, because we all understood that everyone involved in the Dance of the Dragons was fucked up in their own way and that the message of this story, just like the general message of ASOIAF, is that nobody deserves to sit on that fucking throne. We were all in agreement about that. But then this fucking show came along and all the oblivious simpletons that swallowed whatever the producers shoved down their throats, grabbed the book and decided that “Woah, this book is obviously a critique on patriarchy and Rhaenyra is obviously the victim of the story”! As if GRRM, the man who said that he doesn’t sit down and think “Oh, I’m going to write a woman now” but instead he believes women to be people just like men, with complex personalities, would ever do that. And they just can’t believe that it is possible for book!Rhaenyra to be an evil racist classist full of entitlement! Surely it must be because the Greens are rewriting history! There’s no way GRRM, the man that created Cersei fucking Lannister, would ever make a female character that’s vicious and crazy just because she feels like it! Y’all need to sit down for a moment. I say this as a radical feminist that supports the 4B movement: you’re projecting your own ideas onto George’s work. Not all the media we consume has to reflect our ideologies, but if you think that it has to, then this book isn’t the anti misogynistic masterpiece you wish it was.

Like, when it comes to F&B, I am firmly anti Targaryen and did not wish for any side to win. I wanted them all wiped out to be honest. But when it comes to HOTD, I’m TG basically out of spite at this point.

All in all, I just think that things are going to go downhill for us from this point on. They’ll just keep glorifying the Blacks until the very end.

[tinytalkingtina]

Fancy Falling Into You Here

Written for the August @steddiemicrofic prompt, using the word "plug" and 437 words.

437 words | Rating T | Ao3 link

On their first date, Steve and Eddie come to realize they had first met under much more embarrassing circumstances.

Tags: EMT Steve, Coffee shop owner/clumsy Eddie, first date, minor injuries (nothing described in detail), modern AU, embarrassment, BBC's Sherlock haunting all of us when plugging in our phones

Inspired by @dreamwatch for making me think of steddifying this post! Author's notes under the cut

"G-d damn BBC Sherlock," Eddie grumbled as he fumbled plugging his phone into its charging cable for a third time. "Stupid Benedict Cumberbatch and his weird attractive cheekbones." 

A snort from the couch reminded him he actually had company, oops.

Eddie gave his date a grin. "Sorry, I'd love to say that I'm normally as graceful as a swan or something, but as you've seen, unfortunately abject clumsiness is par for the course. It's a miracle my coffee shop's still standing."

It was fine. He could still salvage this and come off as less of a disgruntled sad wet cat man to Smooth Hottie with Glasses and That ButtTM of daily matcha latte with oat milk order fame. Still, Hottie (who went by "Steve", apparently) didn't really seem turned off by Eddie's whole deal. He just laughed.

"Oh, trust me, I've seen much worse. My first year as an EMT, we got a call to a college dorm. This unlucky dude fell off the top bunk and somehow broke both legs and an arm.”

Eddie froze, his quest to charge his phone completely forgotten.

“Plus the guy managed to down the shade on the way too, honestly it was an impressive amount of damage from a 4 foot drop," Steve continued on, oblivious. “One of the funniest calls me and my partner have gotten, and we once had to take care of someone who accidentally fell on a Buzz Lightyear toy and somehow got it stuck up their—you okay man?"

"I panicked and thought the cord would hold my weight." Eddie hid his face in his hands.

"Oh shit. You're 'broke all his bones man'?”

This was a nightmare. "Oh my G-d, I was so woozy. Please tell me I didn’t say anything weird.”

“You asked if I could ‘kiss your booboos better.’ Guess you’ve grown out your hair since?”

"I had to buzz it all off that semester because I had an Incident with some gum," Eddie groaned. "You can go now, I won't hold it against you."

He heard Steve slide closer. "And what makes you think your whole 'Bambi on ice' thing isn't working for me?"

Eddie cracked open an eye. "You sure about that?"

"Pretty sure," he said with a wink. "Plus, if you meet my friend Robin, she's known me since high school. Which means she unfortunately has photos of my braces years. You’re gonna have to stick around long enough to see em."

Eddie stared. Smooth Hottie still wanted him somehow? "Okay Big Boy, looks like I will." 

Steve smiled back. “Good. Now, lean back, I owe you a few kisses.”

Authors notes:

In case you weren't on Tumblr in the early-mid 2010's and remain blissfully unaware of BBC's Sherlock, please watch this clip to understand why Eddie is cursing Benedict Cumberbatch when he fails to plug in his phone fully sober

Eddie, Jeff, and Chrissy run a little coffee shop (complete with monthly open mic/karaoke nights) that EMTs Steve and Robin frequent. Not to worry, Robin will eventually meet her future wife Vickie at the shop after Vickie wins her heart with a rendition of "Before He Cheats."

Originally I had injured Eddie ask Steve about his biblically accurate angel form, but since I decided that Eddie's accident took place around 2010, and the angel meme only took off in 2020, I rewrote the line to be about kissing his booboos. Let's pretend this happens after a separate accident befalls Eddie (he'll be fine): Eddie: Ouch, I was out of it after they gave me the painkillers. I think I called you an angel? Steve: Yeah, you asked if my biblically accurate form had eyes as pretty as my human ones.

[generalllimaginesss]

pov: Jack’s girlfriend and Quinn’s best friend

y/n.user

Liked by colecaufield and others

y/n.user that feeling when your boyfriend and his hot captain are both out for the game that you had taken off work to go see…

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_quinnhughes I’m not a meme. Delete this.

trevorzegras this is gold

_quinnhughes @charlidamelio get your man

colecaufield that’s the wrong sister😭😭

y/n.user DEAD💀

_eliaspetterson Quinn had to leave the locker room for a second because he was crying from laughing…

jackhughes are we just going to skim over the fact that my girlfriend called my captain hot?? Like what?? And used my brother for her post??

y/n.user I come home to you and that’s all the matters😊

nicohischier Jack told me to comment that this is an inappropriate way to talk about his coworkers (he’s just jealous).

_eliaspetterson Quinn update: he just received a rather hostile phone call from Zegras…

_alexturcotte they weren’t public yet😭

_quinnhughes hehehe my bad

trevorzegras your ass is mine Nov 28

_quinnhughes 🥶

colecaufield Quinn is so meme worthy

y/n.user you get me

colecaufield 💁🏼‍♂️

nicohischier Jack told me to ask if you’d like to grab margaritas after the game..

y/n.user why can’t Jack text me? Also why can’t you text me?

nicohischier He said he thought you’d want to talk to your other boyfriend (me). I was already scrolling through instagram when he asked me.

lhughes_06 @jackhughes can I ride with you?

jackhughes no kids allowed

lhughes_06 🖕🏼

_quinnhughes language

lhughes_06 😵‍💫

njdevils Hoping for a speedy recovery!

y/n.user did his contract include an at home nurse?

liked by njdevils

y/n.user All jokes aside….I love you, Rowdy🫶 Sorry not sorry for the meme, Quinn. Tell Dixie I said hi, trevor💀

jackhughes I love you more, my love.

_quinnhughes no worries, I wasn’t expecting an apology.

_eliaspetterson Trevor said that he’s thinking about blocking you and if you have a problem with that to text Jamie.

jamie.drysdale don’t put me in the middle of this please..

y/n.user tell your roommate to grow up

trevorzegras

liked by dixiedamelio and others

trevorzegras when some dumbass outs a relationship before it’s ready to be outed

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_quinnhughes sometimes I don’t want to be happy🎶

jackhughes JAIL

colecaufield NOT EVEN JAIL….STRAIGHT TO PRISON

y/n.user QUINN

_alexturcotte this summer is going to be interesting

colecaufield you’re in my thoughts and prayers, Quinn.

y/n.user Dixie, if you see this I’m sorry

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lhughes_06 out of pocket…every single one of ya

jackhughes

liked by y/n.user and others

jackhughes no margaritas for us tonight, but love my girl so much. (Comments are disabled because some of you need to be in insta jail👀)

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