#but like i feel weird i dont understand
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idk its not autism or adhd or ocd or depression or anorexia but sometimes i think there's something wrong with me
#i think i worked away my anxiety#i wasnt diagnosed but it was definitely not normal the panic i had before paying for things in a store or before birthday parties and stuff#like girl chill#but like i feel weird i dont understand#maybe just stress
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead insteadâ it's not because I donât think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if thatâs where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. itâs not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! itâs good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, thatâs not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we canât change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#âïž
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
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something about people calling vrisrezi "toxic yuri" always puts me off. i understand the lack of words to really put their dynamic but like you know theyre in a relationship thats largely good for them right. they arent dating because "it sucks but it would be worse without each other" they genuinely really love each other a lot
#just as a baseline understanding here i am outright stating that their moiraillegance is a romantic relationship which includes kissing etc#if u cannot meet me on that level i dont think i really want to discuss vrisrezi with you#anyways its just so weird to me i dont know. i dont have a super great way of articulating it#they do Need each other they are codependent and its not necessarily healthy#but unhealthy does not equal toxic#they dont hurt each other on purpose they make each other so so happy and they do so much for each other and thats what makes them worse#because as much as they are universally destined to be together by the Laws of Paradox Space they are also universally doomed#and i mean straight up like. terezi is vriska's fp i feel like this is a given with the almost unambiguous bpd coding of vriska#and that isnt a type of relationship that vriska serket and terezi pyrope are exactly going to understand or manage well#but i also think that calling a favorite person relationship toxic by the nature of it regardless of who specifically is in it#is really gross? and harmful? and it doesnt make you sound cool when you talk about vrisrezi like that#ok wow this got really really out of hand. vrisrezi isnt really âtoxicâ if you read the comic thank you good night#vriska#terezi#my posts ::::)
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doodle collection where i try to actually color
tr. under cut
[2ND IMAGE]
T: These two are so slow at picking (what to eat)
K: Did you ask Shuro what he wanted (to eat)?
L: He said that it was up to us
K: Sighhhh
#dungeon meshi fanart#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#laios touden#toshiro nakamoto#shuro#laishuro#? not as much#the toshiro kabru friendship is VERY real and alive to me.#girlies who deal w laios and develop a weird âwhat are weâ relationship with him get fries and drinks i feel. do you understand#other than that though i feel like their dynamic is kind of interesting . i dont have a lot of thoughts about it but#there is potential shenanigans in their friendship#also the colors are really sloppy but i thought it would look better than to have just left it blank....#ăȘăăăăăŻăăäžæăȘăă ăȘçŹ#not my best work tbh
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in light of tedtrent becoming so real, im also jumping on the tedtrent epilogue đ
there's just no way ted wouldn't keep in touch with the others (and have weekly zoom meetings just like in the christmas special) and I just love the thought of the whole team having reunions once in a while.
and going back to trent's arc in s3, the sunflowers conversation, "And your daughter?" "She's never been happier." I think it could go the same for ted.. we've never really properly saw how henry felt about his dad being in london, it's always other people that told ted his son misses him, who's to say henry would rather see his dad happy because that in turn would make him happy too? he was there to win the whole thing, right? I just know tedâs story isnât done yet when he still hasnât learned to let others take care of him in return and who else to pair him with than the man who blew up his career because a man was nice to him (and also because they were so. so cruel for the fakeout tedbecca scenes for that finale) đ„ș
I'm no writer so just pretend these are snapshots of a slow burn fic where ted visits london for their team reunion and slowly realizes that trent has a crush on him and they kiss about it đ
#ted lasso#trent crimm#tedependent#ted lasso fanart#tedtrent#ted x trent#I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BTW its just that its 4am rn and i cannot type down my thoughts for the life of me </3#im just so not over that ending and how weird it felt for ted to end his story like that.. not like he can turn back to michelle since#dr. jacob is right there.. i want this man to feel loved and cared for and actually have a place he knows he can call home and that was#richmond for me.. to the family we were born with. and to the family we make along the way etc etc etc#ted lasso spoilers#<- FORGOT ABOUT THAT.#i can finally say i loved the ending for all the callbacks and stuff but I NEED THIS MAN TO BE HELDDDD!!!!! *everything explodes around me*#he even went back there WITHOUT BEARD :( his bestfriend for sooo long who was there for all their ups and downs. i dont like beard and jane#being together but the fact ted didnt even go to their wedding too like ...??! what is going onnnn#also graying lasso is just something so indulgent for me . hush#pn.art#JUST YKNOW!!! I HOPE YALL UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING ITS REALLY REALLY LATE I PROBABLY SHOULDVE WAITED TILL LATER TO POST THIS BUT JAHJVAKDG#my memory is really bad too so i could also be misremembering scenes and im too eepy to check the scenes i had in mind so u_u#ALSO apologies that its taking me sooo long to draw things i recently joined a mc server and ive been playing it all day and night HFSJGFSH#im sooo scared of making these type of posts because i dont have the balls to make the wrong choices in other people's eyes but GRAAH!!!!!#<- i love tedtrent bUT WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK IM CRINGGGEEEE!!!!!#THATS ALL.... i have more drawings in mind that ill get around to later.. for now goodnight <3
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tomshiv baby + tomshiv, baby!!!
#you will look at hibs and shiv and tom immediately or ill start throwing things and the first thing im throwing is hibs.#i legitimately adore him TOO much i just feel like hes so understandable. he makes sense. this would happen#maybe i have hibspilled but i cannot picture them having a son and him turning out vastly different.....#(NOT to say i dont love other tomshiv baby interpretations but that being said i have not seen anyone else make a tomshiv baby yet#so thats a hypothetical. i WOULD love another tomshiv baby if i saw them#hes so weird around tom#simultaneously doesnt respect him and is horrified of his judgement and avoids seeing tom whenever possible#art#succession#succession fanart#fanart#succession oc#shiv roy#tom wambsgans#tomshiv#tom x shiv#tomshiv baby#hibernian#the nation#SHIV#SHIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#shes so logan ok.#like ive said before hibs is like if a man and a woman had a baby and the man is shiv roy and the woman is tom wambsgans
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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me when big youtuber says that DID isn't real and something thats for "kids who watch too much tiktok who start to think they're anime characters in real life"
#blah blah blah#to be clear I am NOT a system#as. far as I know. fdjgsfsd#but I have multiple friends who are and I have big feelings#I've hated the tiktok fake claimer bullshit since it fucking started tho#fake claimers are SO FUCKING ANNOYYYYYING#LIKE SHUT UUUUP#i really dont see how implying DID isn't real has AAAAANYTHING to do with the topic of the video#just bc the person he's talking about says they have DID#i dont care if it's weird or confusing shut the fuck up about stuff that you don't fucking understand#like the person is awful yeah but i don't understand why it was needed to brush off DID as some tiktok disorder#shut up shut up shutup
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i wish to be your shadow , forever behind you , even if i am not good enough
plus some extra. they are quite literally metal boxes. i wonder how large they are in actually. im assuming human size? i also never realized just how complicated hokma's was.. i think its all the gears
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#hokma#hokma lobcorp#ayin#ayin lobcorp#im always worried about ooc but then a realize. IT DOESNT MATTER!!! i want them to hug#but then i think abt it and i dont know how to draw hugs. does it matter? NO!! you can tell what it is . good enough#anyways tagging w ayin is always weird because its not QUITE him (from my understanding im not even done im on day 47(pain))#its a mix of consciousness between a blank slate who processes and feels things in a similar manner but then memories put onto him that --#-- logically are his but even then theyre seperate entetied in a way even still (angela noted this in one of the days cant remember which)#so its like.... x and a put into one . i thinkk where its going w it is that each are different aspects ended up experiencing and processin#this grief and hopelessness in different ways? and then ending up being assigned a name as a reflection of different aspects born of the --#-- character that was the entirety of 'ayin'. different aspects isolated via extreme measures when they are ALL ayin just... yknow extremes#FROM MY UNDERSTANDING DONT CORRECT ME IM NOT DONE!!! IM NOT DONE!!!! ITLL HAPPEN 98 HRS SO FAR TRUST#((well day 47 when i queued this to be posted .. hopefully ill be past that and with a acceptable death count))#(((I did btw what the fuck hatbthe fuck whayt hfbf ck)))#I FROGOY i#x lobcorp
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someone please give this poor kid a hug
#the hunger games#thg katniss#katniss everdeen#hunger games fanart#art#fanart#digital art#rereading before the new movie and GOD. I LOVE THESE BOOKS LOL#with really genuinely very good media sometimes I feel weird being so into it. like I gotta make a disclaimer saying#I understand the themes of this work and have enough media literacy to appreciate them. That aside I am still Shipping. Shipping Is Fun#katniss x joanna... influential ship in my formative years... thsi is all we're at liberty to say rn#I dont have time to draw ship art for all my fanciful whims but man. If i did
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MAN, this second round. The combo of bits, inside jokes, inside jokes from ACTUAL EVENTS, and just the vibes of the exaggerated comedic versions of themselves doing goofy shit. Smoffice shit. Golden.
(Really showing me that if Smoffice ever came back with the current cast I would be SO annoying about it. Like, over the moon with joy. And so unbearable with it.)
#i wasnt even watching/a fan when smoffice was being made originally. but if it came back with current cast.... oh boy#smosh#amanda lehan canto#angela giarratana#shayne topp#chanse mccrary#smosh games#ultimate werewolf#trevor evarts#anthony padilla#ian hecox#spencer agnew#tommy bowe#video#i dont think they WOULD necessarily and i think certain cast members probably wouldnt feel comfortable with it (understandably)#(like i dont think angela would want to and i Do Not Blame her for it.it v much encourages weird overfamiliarity/parasocial stuff from fans)#(but like. id be So happy if they did)
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I donât know how to explain this.
But does anyone else just have a weird feeling in them when listening to act two of EPIC? Specifically the Vengeance Saga?
Like I LOVE act two, donât get me wrong. My favorite Saga is literally the Wisdom Saga. But I jsut feel weird listening to act two.
I have a playlist thatâs just act one, and I feel happy and like content listening to it? I guess. But like act two jsut makes me feel odd.
I DONT KNOW OR UNDERSTAND WHY SOBS
#can someone please help me understand#i donât get it#i love act two#i jsut feel weird when listening to it#is it bcs like i donât like some of the stuff in it??#IDK#OKAY NO#I LOVE ACT TEO#AND I LISRNE TO IT A LOt#JUST SOMETIMES#I DONT KNOW#epic#epic the musical#epic: the musical#jorge rivera herrans#my post#greek mythology
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If megumi asked uzhsjdhshd omg I totally see it tbh him wanting you, but I don't think megumi would ever ask yuuji to share you, in any type of way at all. (not trying to push my own hc here!!) I feel like yuuji himself would be the one asking megumi. Yuuji knows that he's yours just as much as he knows you're his. And he loves you too much, a lot, it's purest type of love he has ever felt for anyone. And megumi is his best friend, he loves him just as much, right? Yes, not the same love between you and him ofc but yes. And I have no idea what they were doing but yuuji's just says, kind of out of the blue, that he'd let megumi fuck you. The reason being exactly cause he knows you're his, and you're just so so good that he needs to have someone to talk to (about you and always so respectfully) and who better that his best friend?
youâre opening the pandoraâs box that is itfs + readerâŠ. godâŠ..Â
okok i agree. if youâre dating yuuji, megumi would never ask, yuuji would be the one to bring all three of you together. definitely because he loves you and youâre his, and he loves megumi too, so it just makes sense that his two favorite people also get to have each otherâbut also, yuuji can tell megumi likes you, and he can tell you think megumi is attractive and since yuujiâs so nice, what kinder thing to do than to set you two up so he can watch (: he definitely enjoys being the mediator, also enjoys the somewhat awkward air between you and megumi, how yeah, maybe itâs a little taboo that the two of you are about to make out while youâre boyfriend watches, but yuuji likes that too⊠also he likes knowing that you both like him. like how lucky is he that his best friend and his girlfriend adore him so much :(( you two together makes so much sense in his head, because he talks to megumi about you, and he talks to you about megumi, and now, he can just pour all his love for both of you out at the same time
but alsoâŠ. iâd like to think that yuujiâs maybe not so nice when itâs the other way aroundâwhen he and megumi get together first, and youâre megumiâs best friend. heâs not mean, but he does like to tease... how naughty of megumi to ask out yuuji knowing heâs still got a crush on you, and god does yuuji like to tease him about it :/ jerks him off and taunts about how he knows megumiâs dirty little secretâthat heâs in love with his best friend and fantasizes not just about having you, but about watching his own boyfriend fuck you tooâŠÂ
yuuji knows megumi would take his feelings for you to the grave if he could (heâd have done the same with his feelings for yuuji if yuuji wasnât the one to ask him out), but whereâs the fun in that! you and megumi are sooo cute together after all, so yuuji doesnât mind trying to get you two to confess to each other too. uses his proximity to megumi to get closer to you, takes advantage of his bubbly disposition to be physically affectionate with you, uses megumiâs feelings to his advantage to tease, to wink, to smirk whenever you and yuuji hug a little longer, when he texts megumi that heâs meeting up with you for lunch, when he gives you his jacket and doesnât ask for it back⊠thereâs so much fun in watching megumi blush and whine and get off at the thought of his best friend and his boyfriend together. and the thing is, yuuji genuinely does like you, too, he sees what megumi sees in you, and he thinks megumi is crazy to have not asked you out before, but he supposes everything happens for a reason, because now, this way, yuuji gets to be there and watch it all happen under his guidance. thereâs something about the power, about being the bridge between you two even though you and megumi have known each other for much longer, about being in control of a dynamic that could have, but wouldnât exist without himâŠ
#anonymous#can u tell... ive thought about this before.... GODD#the locked folder in my notes app dedicated to itfs + reader..... maybe she will see the light of day after all LOL#my itfs heart.... anon u dont know what you've done..............#also the divide between the way the 3 of u come together is like....#if ur with yuuji its just like.... hes got too much love for either one of u#and even when he gets to share u with megumi its not enough he loves u both and there's no real proper way to ever fully share or express i#but watching u two fuck is about as close as it gets to feeling like all his love is coming full circle#but the other way... when hes with megumi and can see that megumi still wants u and then yuuji gets to know u and wants u himself....#now h'es got too much power and its power that neither u nor megumi truly see or understand until ur all in bed together#which is crazy bc in theory u and megumi should be stronger should know each other better should be the two friends sharing him#but it's not. it's yuuji who brought u three together and it's yuuji that knew about ur feelings for each other before u and megumi did#and in some weird twisted way u owe it to him and he definitely likes to reap his rewards#and even when u three are together he doesn't stop teasing...#sometimes he makes megumi be meaner to u... coaxes him into thinking he should teach u a lesson for never being able to see his feelings#u owe it to ur best friend to show him how much u love him dont u....#but then other days he'll turn it around... make u the baby and soothe ur tears...#because its only fair u take the both of them bc they love u sooooo much they just wanna be good to u#but also how fun is it for yuuji to remind you that megumi knew he liked u and still asked him out... maybe u should want revenge for that#maybe u take it out on megumi maybe u take it out on yuuji idkidkidk#anyway...#itafushi x reader#yuuji x reader#megumi x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#yuuji.ask
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guy who only asks questions if they feel insightful enough to be worth asking and only hangs out if there is smth to do together <- deeply uncomfortable of the idea of wasting someones time
#yes i was constantly accused of not paying attention for asking questions i didnt know someone already asked why do you ask#maybe it does sound a little sad when i put it as 'i feel most comfortable when i feel like im not wasting the other persons time'#but its more like i want the other person to feel like im putting thought or at least care into it even if i dont express it very well#its weird feeling like im not giving back enough in the conversation but not knowing why or being confused by the idea#of someone who just likes to listen to me talk and not waiting for their turn to speak like i do like. arent you tired of it yet>?#how are you not thinking of ways to get out of this conversation yet??? it fascinates me bc ill never understand it#i like how we are now talking abt not letting yourself feel like a burden for asking for help and letting people help you#but i am on the other side of the spectrum where i want to feel needed when we hang out or else i wont know how to let u know me#yapping#diary#I hate feeling like this cuz it feels like im coming up with new and creative ways to defend myself instead of being myself
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