#but lately it's been harder to imagine and when i do it's not so passionate/i don't feel things as fully

[unityrain24]

please. i want to draw. i want to write. i want to imagine

[tjwritesfanfics]

Sneaky touch (Aaron Hotchner)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Summary: Hotch is only a man and maybe you should wait until get home to tempt him.

Rating: Mature hinted

Words: 820

Warnings: Turning Aaron on with your foot (did it need warning?? Who knows)

Main Masterlist | Criminal Minds Masterlist

AN: I am having way too much fun with @imagining-in-the-margins Friends-with-Benefits challenge. Also, first time writing Hotch!

Dialog Prompt: “What is up with those two lately?” // “They’re sleeping together.” // “Yeah, right. Imagine… wait, seriously?”

Finally the case was over and the whole team wanted to celebrate.

You wanted to celebrate too, drinking with your friends was the best way to wind down after a long and hard case, but you knew something else long and hard you wanted instead.

Aaron and you had been seeing each other in secret (well not totally secret because it was your business and no one else really asked so you didn’t really tell) for a couple months. What went from occasional heated nights in hotel rooms when you were both lonely to passionate nights spent in his apartment when Jack was at a friend’s house to afternoon cuddles and dinner with Jack.

You were basically in a relationship with your boss, but there seemed to be no label on it.

“Here is to another bad guy put away!” Derek raised his beer, everyone meeting it in the middle with an assortment of cheers before downing their own drinks.

Everyone was talking all around you, making jokes at poor Spencer’s attempt with the cop in the last city, though he denied even trying to ‘make a move’ as Derek said. The mood was light and fun, but you could only focus your eyes on Aaron.

He was sipping his drink slowly, eyes fondly looking at the team. You knew he wouldn’t drink more than one drink and probably would leave after, but you were getting impatient and looking at how delicious his hands looked wrapped around the glass was making your thoughts run wild.

You tried to signal him with your eyes, trying to get him to chug and leave with you, but for some reason he continued to not look in your direction. Come on Aaron. You huff, pouting into your drink.

After a few moments of watching him, you got tired of playing nice.

Extending your leg slowly, sliding your foot along Aaron’s pant leg, a smile painting your lips when his eyes snapped to you. His eyebrow quirked up at you, the silent question loud and clear to you.

What are you doing?

You shrug, your foot sliding higher, but turning your attention to Spencer who had whined for your help.

“You saw me and the detective right?”

“I did,” You pressed your foot to Aaron’s crotch, trying not to reach when he couched into his first and waved off David when he asked if he was alright, “And you really could use some pointers in the game of hitting on women.” You turn back to Aaron, smiling now, mischief swirling in your eyes as if daring him to say something when you press your foot a little harder, “Hotchner? Rossi? You guys were married. Any pointers for the poor boy?”

Spencer whines again, his face a red you were unsure he could ever turn, burying his face into his hands begging for this to end while everyone started laughing. Aaron didn’t say anything nor did his eyes leave yours.

“That’s enough, leave the poor boy alone.” Rossi chucked trying to come to Spencer’s aid.

You laugh and wrap your lips around your straw, sipping on your drink, enjoying the feeling of Aaron getting hard under your foot. After all the times he’s had you squirming it was fun to watch him be the one on edge.

Aaron’s eyes never gave anything away, forever the amazing profiler he is, though you could see the slight twitch in his left eye and how his pupils dilated. You could tell how turned on he was just by having your foot pressing into him, how badly he wanted to just take you to the bathroom and have his way with you, but you knew he wouldn’t. Not in the vicinity of his team.

You lifted your eyebrow to dare him to do something, challenging him, and by the way his jaw tightened you knew you were in for one hell of a night.

A shiver runs down your spine watching him down the rest of his drink, placing it quietly on the table, but gripping it so hard that his knuckles were turning white. He was done with your brattiness and you were excited.

“I think I am going to head out for the night.” The table groaned, trying to convince their boss to hang around for a bit longer. “Y/n you said you needed to leave early tonight. Are you ready to go?”

You bite your lip to try and hide your grin (though unsuccessful) nodding your head, gathering your things, biding everyone goodbye before rushing off to follow Aaron who was halfway to the door.

“What is up with those two lately?” Spencer questioned.

Derek chuckled, clamping his hand on Spencer’s back. “They’re sleeping together.”

“Yeah, right. Imagine.” The silence and a smug grin from Rossi was all the answer Spencer needed. “Wait, seriously!?”

“You know, for a genius you really miss a lot of things.”

(Banners by cafekitsune)

[erideights]

Little pieces here and there (3)

Pairing: Buggy x Fem!Reader (One Piece Live Action)

Chapters: one, two, four, five

Word Count: around 2K again.

Warnings: minimum context of the arlong park part of the story (background), MUTUAL FLIRTING, forbiden pinning of them both, Buggy has his body back *wiggling eyebrows*, sexy times

A/N: devil works hard but i'm working harder, every 5 free min i have from work/class/practices i'm writing on my phone, i'ts actually insane and i love it (ROAD TO CHAPTER 4?? If you like this one and want the next one, please let me know!)

Oh, he was mad. He was really mad.

Maybe "sexually frustrated" was a way more accurate term given the circumstances but the feeling was so strong, so visceral, he was sure he was reaching a point where jumping to the sea to end that agony -even if a bit exaggerated, like him always, everywhere and for everything- was justified.

Somewhere in Arlong Park, Buggy could feel the boner pressing his pants, demanding to be satisfied; dirty talk was one of his true passions and when (Y/N) played that card on him, being capable of picturing himself with her on his lap, that damn woman so -actually- close to his face in that moment he was already tasting her lips, her low, smooth voice driving him insane, he could not help it, but get turned on so easily and so strong is been hours, and he's still mad, incapable of stop thinking about that.

That is, perhaps, the reason he feels relief as soon as the sun rises and Usopp is back on the helm again, asking for directions as Buggy, in fact, demands to go faster. Like instead of slicing and dicing his body, his power could control the wind that propelled the boat or the force of the waves against the hull.

(Y/N) ran away just after such a -even if brief- conversation. She may have broken his balls with that dirty trick, but she was equally a victim of her own game. She knew what to say to push Buggy and leave him so stunned -to speak- that the poor clown didn't have the chance to fight back at that moment, not without his body to help him keep her in that kitchen, lift her up on the counter, force her to back down, regret even thinking she could do that to him, and then, only then, yes, fuck her until she wakes up the rest of her little and - according to him - pathetic crew with her moans.

Or so the girl imagined, leaning against the door of her room, eyes closed, heart slightly racing, fighting the temptation to lie down on the bed and masturbate thinking about what had just happened.

Which included him. Him!! What the hell, was she actually losing her mind? All that damn flirting had really gotten into her, for fucks sake, because regardless of her finding him quite interesting when they met, this attraction was something else.

Lately everything around her was something else. Did she really think through the decision of leaving her mercenary life behind and follow those kids to the Grand Line? Did she really think through the decision of flirting back with a psychopath clown?

Because in the end it's just that, right? Flirting. Was nothing else, is nothing else, and will be nothing else. She doesn’t want it to be something more, that's for sure; there's no need for unnecessary complications and extra headaches. In the meantime, it's fun, a bit of a backfire kind of situation, a bit -sexually- frustrating, but fun.

After a good ol' resting night and already some hours into the new day, (Y/N) notices that it's been a lot, since their encounter in the kitchen to be precise, that Buggy not only doesn't flirt with her, but doesn't talk that much or even look at her as amazed as before. Of course, he is, also, way less annoying, which Zoro subtly points out clearly pleased with how calm, nice and silent this morning is.

At some point she shakes her head, knowing, or at least guessing, the reason for this behavior, so she decides to check no one's around and the rudder is locked in the right direction, and then goes to where the bag with his head is, closed probably by the sniper when he got the last indications he needed from him. She opens it, lowering it until the clown's head is free on top of that barrel.

"How are you doing, Bugs?" she starts with a funny little smile, looking intently at him as she leans her back forward to leave her face level with his. "It's been hours I don't hear your raspy voice, I'm starting to miss it."

Silence. Absolute indifference besides the sidelong glance he gives her because let's face it, Buggy is annoyingly proud, extremely, exaggeratedly, but he loves attention. He likes nothing more than receiving it, no matter where, when, and from who, and she could see it as soon as they met.

"Also your silly nicknames for me" She grants, giving in. She would also be mad as hell if someone leaves her as horny as she knew she left him, so she doesn't have any problem being the one to start the tug-war this time.

"Already tired of the shidiots?" He finally asks, almost drily, after a minute; now he is the one to play difficult, huh? "No wonder, they don't even know where to start being pirates."

"Oh, of course, because no one compares to the famous Buggy The Clown, the colorful nightmare or the East Blue." Playful, she retreats a bit, resting her hip in the barrel, arms crossed over her chest.

"Quit the sarcasm doll, you know I'm right." Well, he was, in fact, right. None of them had real experience in the whole i-wanna-become-a-pirate thing, still, they were doing pretty good to be newbies. She was quite proud of them.

"I cannot wait to have my body back" he then murmurs, adding before she could say anything else about her new friends. "To do what?" She asks, you know, like she didn't know.

"Take a guess"

"Recover your spotlight? Find a new crew and a way to enter the Grand Line to go search the One Piece and be the king of the pirates?" (Y/N) mocks, clearly enjoying being the annoying one this time.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah'' Buggy rolls his eyes, scoffing. ''All that, but not before making you regret what you did last night." To that accusation she gasps, resting her right hand over her chest "What did I do last night?"

The clown falls silent again, but his mood is completely different. Right now he's not pissed off, it's obvious that this time, instead of flirting with her in a casual and natural way, he’s thinking what to say, choosing carefully his words to return a fraction of the effect she had on him hours ago.

His eyes darken, and his voice goes octaves lower and raspier. "Sweetheart, there will be no possible escape from what I plan to do with you. At the slightest opportunity I will make you cum on me so many times you will be the one to find the One Piece without needing to go to the Grand Line, but first…'' He pauses, breathes, and lets it go calmly, like the intimidating, psychopathic calculator she saw at the circus and not that flirty cartoonish version she got to know on the ship. ''you will beg for it."

She knows she shouldn't surrender to this type of tease, but she also can't and doesn't want to avoid it. Getting heavily carried away, without thinking about it twice, one of the girl's hands slides to the back of his neck, slipping under the bandana, and tugs his hair aggressively as she leans in again to speak close to his face. He grunts in pure satisfaction, closing his eyes for a second. Of course (Y/N) is, once again, taking advantage of the fact that he cannot defend himself no being more than a head, and the fact is that he enjoys like a condemned bastard those small but intense gestures the girl has given him since they met at the circus.

He can't wait to break a woman like her. And oh, he will.

"Are you sure about that?" Hearing distant steps, someone from the crew coming out on deck and climbing the stairs, she gets some distance from him, acting naturally, closing the bag again around his head. "My expectations just skyrocketed, I hope you don't disappoint."

By the end of the day, the Konomi Islands begin to appear on the horizon, and as soon as they set foot on them, shits get really serious. The situation of the poor people who live there is heartbreaking, so for two days, no one dares to make a single joke, Luffy's usual energy and bubbly positivity is nowhere to be seen, and of course, the interactions of (Y/N) and Buggy are reduced to = 0. The clown's head is no longer of any real use to them, and it’s poor Sanji, the new recruit, who’s carrying it around just in case.

At least until they reach Arlong Park.

Again, (Y/N) is not exactly the type of mercenary expert in martial arts and although she knows how to defend herself, fighting like Zoro or Sanji is, in few words, impossible. Her only advantage is being very, very fast, and knowing how to use the scenery to her advantage, so it doesn't take long for her to hide here and there among the different tents and attractions in the area to get rid of the most straggler fishmen, with a knife she got long ago during one of her jobs, capable of cutting their tough skin easily.

Everything happens so fast and is so chaotic that apart from some screams and blows in the background and having seen Usopp running towards the forest, (Y/N) is completely unaware of what is happening in the main complex.

A strong pull on her left arm activates her flight or fight response as one last fish falls dead to the ground in front of her. Raising the knife, in a quick movement, she tries to defend herself by aiming at the stranger's neck, although in vain; a pair of lips whose red has already been worn for days impact against hers, stealing her breath, a small moan escaping her. Eyes wide open, she barely registers the blurry color of Buggy's nose when two strong hands squeeze her hips as if the life of the clown depended on it, pushing the girl against the wall of the building behind them, cornering her without any type of delicacy.

She hadn't heard from him since they reached the island. Hell, she didn't even know he had got his full body back and was already so close to it that air was unable to pass between each other.

Of course, the moment the clown's head joined the rest of himself -the feeling much better than he remembered- he fucked off his captors and decided to flee. Not before making a vital stop along the way.

The ideas about how to proceed with her once he was whole were very, very different in his wild fantasies, but when he saw the girl's back, he knew that the only thing that would -partially- calm his yearning would be to kiss her before disappearing as fast as possible. To taste her lips, to feel her warmth.

Still not recovered from the shock of the kiss, Y/N doesn't remove the knife from the clown's neck, but he couldn't care less; quite the opposite. He is so turned on and waited so much -again, exaggerated- for this he doesn't know yet how he will be able to break the kiss, take distance from her, and run away.

Passionately carried away, moved by his most primitive instincts, Buggy sneaks one of his legs between hers, pressing in between them as Y/N inhales through her nose and her free hand flies to his vest, pulling it a little.

It wasn't the time, nor the place, to think about fucking that asshole, but damn, after all the teasing and the tension and the adrenaline of the fight--

And just when she starts fully giving in to him, he retreats just enough, panting a bit, and looks at her now red, stained lips, eyes darkened and full of lust. Just like hers.

"Hate to leave you like this sweetheart but I have things to do and places to go. I don't want people relating me to Arlong, I would hate the bad press on my persona." He whispers, cracking his usual cruel, playful smirk when he finally puts some distance between each other.

‘’It's time to exit stage left.’’ Buggy adds, theatrically raising both hands in the air. ‘’I promise I’ll see you around.’’

And like this, he stars running away again. Where? She doesn't know, or even guess at this moment, too busy registering the kiss in her memory, the way his lips felt on hers, how his nose pressed her cheek the entire time, or his hands grabbed onto her for dear life.

Bastard.

''You better'', she whispers to herself.

[strangespector]

You Said You’d Be Here

Summary: Conflicting schedules, a broken promise and physical altercation that leads to disaster

Words: 1013

TW: Slight violence that happens by accident. Nothing major, but you have been warned.

Falling in love with Jenna Ortega was like stepping into a dream. I met her at a small meet and greet session for her book launch, in a dimly lit café. We hit it off immediately, our chemistry undeniable. The early days of our relationship were filled with laughter, late-night conversations, and stolen kisses. Jenna was everything I had ever wanted—talented, kind, and full of life.

However, as her fame grew, so did the demands on her time. She was constantly traveling, recording, and performing. The time we once had for each other dwindled, replaced by hurried phone calls and fleeting text messages. I tried to be supportive, understanding that this was her dream, but it was hard not to feel left behind.

Our first big fight happened after she missed my birthday. She had promised she would be there, but a last-minute opportunity to perform at a high-profile event came up, and she couldn’t turn it down. I spent the evening alone, my heart aching with disappointment. When she called to apologize, I couldn’t hide my hurt.

“You said you’d be here, Jenna,” I said, my voice trembling. “I know your career is important, but so is our relationship.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied, sounding exhausted. “I didn’t want to miss it, but you know how important this performance was.”

“It feels like I’m not a priority anymore,” I confessed. “Like I’m always coming second to your career.”

Her silence spoke volumes, and I knew then that things would only get harder.

The fights became more frequent. I resented her growing fame and the way it seemed to pull her further away from me. She, in turn, felt trapped between her love for me and her passion for her career. The tension between us grew unbearable, and we found ourselves arguing over the smallest things.

One night, after a particularly heated argument, things escalated to a level I never imagined. Jenna had just returned from a press tour, and I had planned a special dinner to welcome her back. She arrived late, visibly tired and irritable. When I tried to express my feelings, she snapped.

“You don’t understand!” she yelled, her eyes flashing with frustration. “I’m doing this for us, for our future!”

I tried to stay calm, but my own frustration was bubbling up. “It doesn’t feel like it! It feels like you’re doing it for yourself, and I’m just an afterthought!”

Jenna’s face twisted in anger. Without warning, she grabbed a heavy candle holder from the table and hurled it at me. I barely had time to react, and it struck me on the forehead. Pain exploded through my skull, and I stumbled back, feeling something warm and wet trickle down my face. Blood.

Jenna's face immediately changed from anger to horror. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice shaking as she rushed toward me. “I didn’t mean to—”

I held up a hand to stop her, my vision blurring. “Just... just stay away from me,” I managed to say, my voice cracking. I couldn’t look at her. The betrayal, the physical pain, and the emotional wound were too much to bear.

I went to the bathroom, dabbing at the cut with a wet towel, trying to stop the bleeding. Jenna stood at the door, tears streaming down her face. “Please, let me help,” she pleaded.

I shook my head, unable to meet her eyes. “No, Jenna. This... this is too much. I need to go.”

Her sobs followed me as I left the house, my heart breaking with every step. The realization that our love had turned toxic was undeniable. I knew then that we couldn’t continue like this. The break turned into a breakup, and just like that, our relationship was over. The heartache was overwhelming, and for weeks, I struggled to move on.

But time, as it always does, began to heal my wounds. I started focusing on myself, rediscovering passions and hobbies I had neglected. Slowly, I began to find joy in the little things again. It was during this time that I met Sabrina Carpenter.

Sabrina was different from Jenna in so many ways. She was grounded, attentive, and genuinely interested in spending time together. We connected on a deeper level, our relationship built on mutual respect and understanding. Sabrina helped me realize that while Jenna had been a significant part of my life, she wasn’t the only source of happiness.

One evening, as Sabrina and I sat on the porch watching the sunset, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. I had loved and lost, but I had also grown and found love again. Jenna would always hold a special place in my heart, but I knew now that moving on was the best thing I could have done for myself.

Years later, I ran into Jenna at a charity event. She looked as stunning as ever, her presence still magnetic. We exchanged pleasantries, and it wasn’t long before the conversation turned personal.

“I’ve missed you,” she admitted, her eyes filled with regret. “I didn’t realize what I had until it was gone. I wish things had turned out differently between us.”

I felt a pang of sadness, but also a sense of closure. “We both had to follow our own paths,” I said gently. “I’ll always cherish the time we had, but I’ve moved on. I’m happy now.”

Jenna nodded, a bittersweet smile on her lips. “I’m glad you found happiness. You deserve it.”

As Sabrina joined me, her presence a comforting reminder of the life I had built, I introduced her to Jenna. There was no jealousy, no lingering heartache—just a sense of acceptance and peace. We had all grown in our own ways, and while our paths had diverged, they had led us to where we were meant to be.

Sabrina turned to me and smiled, her eyes filled with warmth. “You know, I’m really glad we found each other,” she said softly.

“Me too,” I replied, squeezing her hand. “Me too.”

[builtbybrokenbells]

Rotten Apple | JTK

Karmic relationships indicate feeling or expressing a passionate response very early on in a relationship. Oftentimes, instant chemistry is mutually felt. Sometimes, the drain of that connection or addiction to a partner is described as exhausting rather than feeling calmly settled in a grounded partnership. (Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C, LICSW, LCSW)

Listen while reading: (the entire fic is based off this song so I highly suggest at least reading the lyrics before reading 😁)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 16k

Warnings: PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS BEFORE READING AS THIS STORY COULD BE POTENTIALLY HARMFUL/UPSETTING TO SOME READERS//SMUT 18+, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving), sir kink, choking, touch of orgasm denial, dom/sub, possessiveness, jealousy, degradation, name calling, praise, rough sex, toxic themes/relationships, heavy implications/explanations of cheating/infidelity, actual cheating/infidelity, chronic cheaters, gaslighting/manipulative phrases, fighting, arguing, crying, insulting, mentions of bad relationships/relationship trauma, mistresses/home wrecking, self hatred/self sabotage, remorse/regret, depression, anxiety, (lots) angst, (some) fluff, drinking, swearing, sorry if i miss any!

and im back 😙 please tread carefully with this one if any of the aforementioned warnings are personal to you. this definitely isn’t some people’s cup of tea! aside from that, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🤍 (so sorry, very lightly edited. just wanted to get this posted so i can keep going with more stuff 😁) (also another side note, I do not condone cheating at all. was just an idea that sparked some creativity is all)

Innocence is over

Hey ah na na, over

Ignorance is spoken

Hey ah na na, spoken

Confidence is broken

Hey ah na na broken

Sustenance is stolen

Hey ah na na, stolen

Arrogance is potent

Hey ah na na, potent, yeah

“Y/N!” Your name screamed over the busy chatter of the crowd around you, catching your attention and turning your head.

House parties had always been so overrated, and since high school, it seemed the scene hadn’t changed a bit. Even in your late twenties, the spill of alcohol on the floor made your soles sticky and the haze in the air choked you as you breathed. The home you were in was familiar, but certainly not comfortable, and the memories that lived inside the walls were haunting as they flashed before your eyes. The crowd of people around you only made it harder to escape the stalemate remembering had put you in. Still, you pushed a smile on to your face, holding the hand in yours a little tighter as you marched forward toward the greeting.

So many questions flooded your mind as you closed in on the perpetrator of your punishment. You knew they would all be here; they invited you, after all. The text message exuding formalities and lacking substance was the whole reason you stepped foot in the door in the first place, and you knew without a doubt that they would be waiting to greet you soon as you showed.

Well, three of them, anyway.

You swallowed your pride, leading your company through the swarm of bodies. The weaving was tiresome, and you had only just begun navigating your way through an exhausting journey. It was too early to be tired, too soon to be so cynical, yet it was all you could do. Something about the story was too repetitive for you to believe the night would end any differently than you imagined when you received the invitation.

The questions continued to beat against your skull, twisting around the guitar riffs and raspy voices flowing through the speakers in the living room. It made for a violent pair, and your eyes began aching from the pressure behind them. Your body was telling you it was a bad idea, but you couldn’t listen. You had faith that the night would be different, that you would be different, stronger than you were before.

You could turn around, submit to your already guilty conscience and run out the door. You could pretend you never heard your name at all, and more importantly, pretend you never read the message in the first place. You responded too fast to a person who should have been long deleted from your contact list, but if you played the game well enough, you could climb out of the hole you already dug yourself in. You could come out on top of this, you could conquer the world that previously held you back from succeeding. All it took was turning around, leaving, walking away from him.

For some reason, your feet continued forward, neglecting every warning your psyche could give. They carried you far enough that you landed before the person you knew you should walk away from.

No, not the person.

Just the closest one to him.

“Hey, Josh.” His name felt like poison on your tongue, already seeping through the gaps of your teeth and searing holes into the flesh. You could feel the pain deep into your jaw, running down the back of your throat and circling around your neck. The sensation was lethal, but it was addicting. Something about the brothers made you a sucker for the pain. You hated the names now, but you hated yourself more for never having the willpower not to speak them.

“I’m glad you came! I didn’t really think you would message me back.” He confessed, leaping forward and extending his arms outward.

He wanted a hug, innocent and warm, a sure way to greet you with all of the love he still had for you.

To you, it was none of those things. Instead, it served as a reminder of your catastrophic failures and the life you once lived. A life that was painful, ugly and cruel, but still seemed shiny, like a dream you craved to see in your deepest sleep. The person that used to hug Josh Kiszka was not someone you wanted to be, but it was someone you could not escape, someone who only showed herself when she was around him. You could not be around Josh without being near him, too, and for that reason alone you had pinned Josh with his brothers crimes, too.

Still, your arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him closer and torturing yourself with the scent of his cologne. As his arms closed in around you, the anguish of the familiar touch nearly sent you to your knees.

It wasn’t the same, but it was the closest thing to what you truly wanted.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, I figured I’d stop by and say hi at least.” You replied, your head still swimming with uncertainty over the interaction. “I should probably be on my way soon, anyway. I can’t stay long.”

“Oh come on, stay a while! Don’t leave yet, you just got here!”

What game was he playing?

He knew the consequences of your presence in their lives, and he was lighting a match that would fuel an unstoppable fire.

“Maybe just for a little while.” You gave a soft smile, hiding your longing for the connection you had so long ago. His words were kind, more generous than they should be, but the weight of your past mistakes were heavy between you.

Maybe that was why you didn’t have the heart to turn him down. Subconsciously, you were stuck in some repetitive cycle of trying to right wrongs you were not fully responsible for.

“Who is this, anyway?” Josh turned to the man standing next to you, eyeing him carefully as he took in the sight before him. His gaze traveled from his face down to his arm, piecing it together once he saw your fingers still interlocked with his.

“This is Cole…” you said, slowly while Josh’s eyes moved back to meet your own. “My boyfriend.” You didn’t need to say the word. The implication was already painfully obvious, and all you did was rub salt in your open wounds.

Why did you bring him with you?

Why did you come at all?

“I see,” Josh grinned, but it was just as fake as your own cheeriness. You were both thinking the same thing, without a doubt for the future when the night came to an end. “It’s nice to meet you, Cole. I’m Josh.” He extended his hand for your new boyfriend to shake, the formality only slightly off putting as Josh’s eyes remained locked with yours.

‘Not tonight, Josh. Not this time.’ You tried to plead with him, silently telling him that tonight would be different than all the ones that came before. ‘It’s different now. You have to believe me.’

He did not, and you could not blame him. You did not even believe yourself.

By the end of the night, your relationship with the boy beside you would be no more. Jake Kiszka would see to that, and your undying desire for him would solidify it. It was a matter of time before you crossed his path, and not long after that would the incessant cycle resume exactly where it left off.

“Nice to meet you man.” Your boyfriend's voice was cheerful, and unlike yours, genuine. If only he knew the hurt he would endure, he would have left long before he ever experienced love at your hands.

No matter how hard you tried, it always ended the same way. No matter who it was, they were never able to compare to the boy who forever stole your heart.

“So how do you two know each other?” Cole asked, looking down at you now. You bit the tip of your tongue, standing stoic for a moment as you tried to come up with a quick lie. Without being too obvious, you tried to silently warn Josh to keep his mouth shut. You should have known better.

You have always known better.

“She’s never told you about Jake?” Josh laughed, finding the notion incredulous. He was too drunk to lie, but it wasn’t like he could ever do it sober. Your cheeks flushed and your eyes pointed towards the floor, feeling your heart jump to your throat and your head begin to ache. The poison of Jake’s name melted your tongue entirely, leaving you wordless and unable to defend yourself.

“Jake?” Your boyfriend asked, wearily speaking the name aloud as if it were a curse he was desperate to avoid. “Your uh… your ex?” He wanted clarification, or assurance that he was wrong, but it was something you could not give to him because he was right.

“Y-yeah.” You choked out, feeling your throat begin to close and air become scarce. “This is his brother.”

Innocence is over

Cole formed a tight-lipped smile, but did not let go of your hand. In an instant, he understood that attending the house party was not a mindless effort at a drunken date. He was not meeting your old friends, and he was not out to have a good time. Instead, the intent ran much deeper, and he was being used in a pissing contest for bragging rights to the ex he had always felt inferior to.

You wanted to assure him it wasn’t like that, but it was, and speaking would get you no further ahead of the game.

Why would Josh tell him? Why would he say it like that, as if Jake was the reason why you were there?

You closed your eyes, silencing your brain for a moment as you digested the truth.

Jake was the reason why you were there, and he was trying to spare Cole the heartbreak.

“He was barely an ex, Cole. You know that.” You spoke, bargaining with the distaste already forming in his heart.

Out of all of the dishonesty you had already dealt, that was the truth. An ex was not what you would classify Jake as, because you barely dated him. In fact, you hadn’t really dated him at all. You spent weeks secluded behind the walls of the very house you stood in now, nights wrapped up in him, tainting his sheets with the smell of your shampoo, but you were never his girlfriend.

You wanted to believe that if you had stayed just a little while longer, gave him a little bit more, maybe you would have been, but holding on to that belief was painful more than it ever served a comfort.

“Right,” he whispered, his hand still in yours. It felt wrong, just like it had the first time he ever held it. Cole never should have been in the middle of this, because he never should have been yours at all. You had no idea why you ever said yes to the title of girlfriend, because you never wanted it, and you had no idea why you invited him here tonight, especially knowing how it would end.

“Either way, it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to see Jake, I came to see you.” You said, pointing the finger at Josh to get yourself out of the spotlight. “You asked me, remember? What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t come to celebrate your new album?” You forced another smile, begging them both to believe that’s why you really showed up. Cole seemed to relax slightly at the sound of your words, but his chest still ached at the idea of being in Jake Kiszka’s house.

Was Josh encouraging you to fall back into old habits? Was Josh playing martyr for a cause that would only hurt everyone in the crossfire?

You could not believe he wanted to see you, because if he missed you so much, he would have shown up at your door. You would have went for coffee or shared dinner like you did so many times before, but instead he invited you to a party hosted by the one man you needed to stay away from.

“The worst.” He joked, playing along with your poor excuses. An awkward silence hung heavy between the the three of you. Nobody knew what to say, because no words could ever turn the conversation to a positive tone.

“Did you want a drink, baby?” Cole asked, looking over his shoulder to the liquor bottles on the kitchen table. You followed his gaze, eager for him to leave you alone so you could pry into Josh’s head.

“Yes, please.” You nodded, giving him a smile.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” He said, clearly looking for a way out of the tense situation.

“I’ll be right here.” You promised. He seemed reluctant to leave you, but after a shared glance and silent reassurance, he retreated to the kitchen.

As soon as he was out of earshot, you turned to Josh again, desperate for an answer.

“Why did you invite me, Josh?” You asked, your tone turning grievous in an instant. The sweetness you held seconds before disappeared without a trace.

“He wanted me to.” Josh admitted, giving a shrug of his shoulder. “I didn’t know you’d bring a date.” He continued, his words more accusatory than you liked.

“Is it a crime?”

“When you know the consequences, yeah.” He answered, truthful with his response. “Listen, I’m happy to see you, Y/N. Whatever the fuck happens between you and Jake is none of my business. You’re my friend, and I’m glad you came, but I do think that you should be mindful of him before anything happens.”

“I’m not here to see Jake, Josh. I came because you invited me, because we’re friends. Remember, before all of this shit happened?”

“How could I forget?” He chuckled, thinking back fondly on the memories. Josh had been your friend first, the whole reason you knew Jake at all, but after all of the pain, your friendship with him seemed to get lost in the mess. “As much as I’d like to believe that you’re here to see me, we both know it’s not true.” He paused, thinking carefully before he spoke again. “And as much as I don’t want your new guy to get hurt, it would be nice to see you and Jake catch up, especially after it ended the way it did.”

“I’ve got nothing to say to him, Josh.” You crossed your arms over your chest, accentuating the cleavage in your already skimpy dress. You had picked it with Jake in mind, even if you would never admit it.

“You have lots to say, mama. We all know that.”

With that, a body presented itself beside you again and a drink was being offered to you. You sent Josh a pointed stare, letting the action finish the conversation for good. Josh nodded, placing a hand on your shoulder and giving a gentle squeeze before walking away.

Cole noticed, and you couldn’t blame him for his questioning gaze, but it did irritate you beyond belief. He was treading in waters too dangerous to survive.

Instead of asking, he opted to keep quiet in fear of the answer he would receive.

Ignorance is spoken

“It’s really nice of you to support Josh like that, even after Jake fucked you over.” Cole said, sending a small smile your way. You took a moment to admire him, his beauty, and his bare-faced stupidity.

“We’ve been friends for a long time. It’s the least I could do.” You shrugged, brushing off his sweet sentiments.

Cole knew you were not there to support Josh, but he was forcing himself to believe it. It was easier for him to digest, thinking that your intentions were friendly and honest. When he focused on the alternative for too long, he thought he would be sick.

Before you could respond, you were pulled into a whirlwind of emotion as your eyes fixated on something within the crowd. In the distance, you saw a flash of familiar brown hair. The sight made your stomach turn and your palms turn clammy.

He wanted you to come.

Josh’s words repeated in your head, making it hard to think of anything else. Jake wanted you there. He asked for you. He knew you would never answer if he asked you himself, because you had never been keen on giving him what he wanted.

That was yours and Jake's biggest problem; you wanted too much from each other, and neither of you had ever been very generous. He wanted more than you could give, and you wanted what he could not provide.

Despite knowing that about yourselves, there was this incessant temptation in both of your minds, forcing you to believe that you were the best the other could ever get, even if it never worked out, and even if all it ever caused was pain.

The familiar head was not pointed in your direction, but you were certain it would be soon. The two of you had an awful attachment to one another, the bond extending into the realm of spirituality and likely even far beyond it. If you walked in a room, he knew, no matter how far away or how invested he was in something else. If you left, your absence hung heavy in the air and haunted him, even if he did not witness you leave. He was completely in tune with you, knowing your next move without you saying a word.

Even if you tried to ignore it, you knew you felt it just the same when it came to his presence and absence.

He was a habit you couldn’t kick, a guilty pleasure and an addiction far more lethal than one to substance. You would search for him in every room, cry out for him and him alone in the darkest nights, and long for his company after he disappeared from sight. His voice was like venom, seeping under your skin and tainting the blood supply the minute it reached your ears. His eyes, easy to get lost in and your definite demise.

He was not good for you, and he never would be, but you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting him. He was the most karmic relationship you’d ever engaged in, punishing you for wrongs you’d committed long before you met him. At the same time, he was making you engage in far more at his hand than you ever believed possible. You didn’t want to want him, but it was impossible to deny. The thought of not needing him was obsolete, because you never knew a moment of peace after he walked into your life.

You could not be with him, and you knew even in the future it would never be in your cards, either. For some reason, even while knowing he was actively ruining your life, you jumped at the chance to love him one more time. You destroyed every opportunity given to you in favor of his twisted agenda, and you did it without regret or second thought. New relationships blossomed after he walked away from you, and failed when he decided to walk your way again. You needed to stay away, to put a boundary in place, but you loved his sin too much to refute it.

You had slowly come to terms with the fact Jake Kiszka would be your kryptonite until you took your dying breath. He was inescapable, and even if you would never truly be his, he would always have a part of you.

No, he would always have all of you, but he would never be yours to keep.

And just like the world ensured it a million times before, the head turned, and the familiar brown eyes seemed to be staring into your soul once more.

You couldn’t run, because he would always find you. You couldn’t run to him, because the boy by your side would know the truth behind the situation you had been trying so hard to keep a handle on. You were stuck, glued to the floor and locked in position until he decided to walk your way.

He was in control, and always had been. Since the moment you met him, you were happy to leave your fate in his hands, blindly trusting a man who only ever did what he could to fuck you over.

You couldn’t see all of his face, but you knew how beautiful he looked despite the crowd standing in his way. You could picture it crystal clear, the pout of his lips and the heavy-lidded eyes filled with lust. You knew the wrinkled furrow of his brow better than anything else in the world, and the softness of his skin and how good it felt under your touch.

As he stared, only his eyes visible to you, you knew he was envisioning all the same things.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Cole asked, his voice concerned. His hand on your back was excruciating, the overwhelming feeling of wrongness growing by the second.

You wanted to tell him, to send him away before he met the same fate as everyone who came before him, yet you couldn’t bear the thought of confessing all of your secrets to him. Some small part of you even believed you could avoid it this time, even whilst you felt the gravitational pull all the way across the room and through the crowd. You wanted to be the good guy and spare him, and you wanted to be the best person and end the cycle, but you knew neither would happen.

There were two reasons why you could not do those things; one being that Jake Kiszka made you into the worst version of yourself, and two, he was walking towards you now with no intent to slow.

“I-I’m okay,” you tried to assure him, but your voice was shaky and your words were weak. It did not take a genius to understand why, and as his eyes moved to look in the same direction of yours, his stomach was sick with fear. He did not know Jake by looks, but he knew you, and he knew that your pompous reaction would not be caused by anything other than him.

“Y/N, let’s go.” Cole said, trying to get you out of the situation before it began, but you were already in his sight, and there was no shying away. The hunter settled on prey, and you could only hope that Jake had enough kindness left in his heart to spare you from the suffering he so often inflicted upon you.

“I-I can’t.” You shook your head, noticing his grip move to your arm. He was trying to force you away, almost as if he knew his fate before it began to unfold.

“The fuck you can’t.” He scoffed, nudging you in the opposite direction of the man approaching you. “Let’s go.” He said again, harsher than the last.

You should listen.

You should leave.

It was too late, anyway. Your choosing of Jake over anyone else was a disaster, but it was something no outward intervention could have possibly changed. It was your own personal law, and when it came to a competition between Jake and anyone else, the contender always lost.

He was in front of you again. Months of static silence and breaking hearts, months of longing and yearning for something you could not have, finally came to a bitter end. It had been so long since you were face to face with Jake that you almost managed to forget how intoxicating his aura was. Almost, being the key word, because deep down you knew you would never forget a thing about him.

“Long time no see, sweetheart.” His voice was like liquid gold, washing down over you and curing any ailment that plagued you. The pout of his lip had only become more irresistible, and his chocolate coloured irises locked you in for eternity. Even if you wanted to leave, you knew it to be impossible.

“Could have kept it that way.” You replied, your lips turning down into a slight frown. Your eyes, though, told a much different story that he was quite privy to. You were good at keeping the feelings between the two of you a secret to anyone looking in, but inside, you were dying for him to touch you. Just once, just for a second so you could ascend to heaven again. It was a feeling only he could give, and you had been deprived of it for a long time, constantly in search of the high since his absence began.

“Right,” he chuckled, remembering your snarky tone all too well. “That’s why you came to my house? To bitch at me for saying hi?” His words were evil, and so was his tone, but you nearly went weak in the knees hearing the domineering voice once again. His eyes held emotion different from the venom of his words, and you could feel how thrilled he was to see you again.

“It wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t bitching at you for something, Jacob.” You reminded, keeping your expression stony so he could not use anything to his advantage.

“Of course, angel. It’s what I love most about you.” He smirked, nodding in agreement. You noticed his eyes flicker to the man beside you, the one holding your arm so tightly in hopes he could pull you away. Jake bit back a bigger smile, knowing there was nothing strong enough in the world to pull you away from him.

His black dress shirt was held together by the bottom three buttons. A fitted suit jacket was settled neatly atop it, but it was not screaming anything overly fancy. The cheap necklaces around his neck dumbed down the expensive clothing, but you cursed how remarkably well it worked together. His dress pants hugged his hips, and the tanned skin of his chest held your attention. It was not the clothes that sent you mad, but the fact you had before studied the beautiful intricacies that lie beneath.

“Are you going to introduce me to your little friend?” He cocked his head to the side ever so slightly, raising his eyebrow in inquiry.

Little was a term he used only to assert his dominance. Cole stood heads taller, and his shoulders were much wider, but in the moment, Jake appeared much bigger than the man beside you. His ego was so large that it left no space in the room for anyone else, and his confidence made Cole pale in comparison to him.

“Boyfriend.” Cole corrected, his jaw clenched and his grip on you growing tighter by the minute. At that, Jake laughed out loud, unable to hold his feelings on the matter. Cole swallowed back the bitter taste it left in his mouth, but opted not to respond.

“Okay.” Jake nodded, looking back to you for clarification. “Your boyfriend.” He reworded his question, putting emphasis on the term and making it painfully apparent he had no interest in talking to Cole at all.

“This is Cole.” Was all you said, your nostrils flaring slightly at Jake’s egotistical expression. As much as you craved for him to touch you, you weren’t blind to his abhorrent tendency towards cockiness.

“You move on quick, sweetheart.” He noted, glancing back at the other man for a moment. You scowled at his willingness to shame you for dating another when he was the one who drove you to it in the first place. Before you could comment on his misplaced belief, a blonde haired woman appeared beside him, making the situation all the more tense. You forced a smile on your lips, watching closely as she clumsily grabbed his arm, claiming her territory without a trace of humility.

“Seems like you do, too.” You shot back, biting down on the tip of your tongue hard enough to draw blood. The metallic taste filled your senses, but the pain did nothing to deter the rise of anger in your chest.

She did not say a word, but she did not have to. She was the same to Jake as Cole was to you: a placeholder.

As much as you were a victim to Jake, he was just the same to you.

You moved on, found another to replace the hole he left in you when he walked away. He found her, hoping she would feel as good in his arms as you did, but she could never give him the same thing. She could try until the end of time, but both of you knew she could never come close.

“Was nice seeing you, Y/N. Don’t be a stranger.” His words were equal to a dismissal of the conversation, but his eyes spoke something completely different. He wasn’t done, and neither were you. He approached you with intent to start anew, and he would see through to it no matter who got caught in the crossfire.

He slung a lazy arm around her waist, giving you a subtle wink before pulling her off in the same direction they came.

You thought you were going to be sick, your entire body aching with the knowledge he was touching someone other than you. You wondered if you loving someone else plagued him with the same illness, or if he viewed it as a game. You constantly feared that he did not feel for you what you felt for him, but you’d always been too afraid to ask.

“What a fucking douchebag.” Cole muttered, only loosening his grip on you after Jake was out of sight. As he let go, you raised your opposite hand to the same spot, rubbing the sore skin where his fingers rested moments before.

“He’s not that bad, Cole.” The defense slipped out without a second thought, and his misplaced confidence was shattered entirely. You looked up at his face, wide eyed and regretful of your words, but the damage was done and a fight was unavoidable.

Confidence is broken

“Not that bad?” He echoed, practically scoffing the words out.

“Yeah, Cole. Not that bad.” You repeated, rolling your eyes. “He’s full of himself, yeah, but when you get to know him, he’s actually got a pretty good heart.”

“Good enough heart to fuck someone else in your bed?” He questioned, remembering the tearful stories you had told after too much wine. Your expression dropped, your heart plummeting to your stomach as you were forced into a memory you were committed to forgetting. “Did you actually come here to see him?”

“Yeah, he’s an alright person, but a shitty fucking boyfriend.” You nodded, swallowing back the lump forming in your throat. “Which is why I’m dating you, and not him.” You clarified, averting your gaze to the ground. “No, I didn’t come here to fucking see him, Cole.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered, realizing his harsh words were not needed.

At the same time, they were. You were playing the victim to avoid being the bad guy. You hated being the bad guy, and when it came to Jake, you couldn’t seem to escape the title.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom.” You forced the words through your teeth, feeling the whirlwind of memories wash over you like acid rain. Your skin burned as they continued to flow, and you knew that you would die before you could ever outrun them.

“Babe, come on.” He pleaded, reaching out for your shoulder to hold you in place. You shook him off as soon as his fingers connected with your body, stepping away without a second thought.

Without any regret, you left him amidst the swarm of people in the house of your ex whom you knew you’d end up in bed with by the end of the night.

Even though the thought normally settled your upset stomach, not even the promise of sex with Jake could cure the sickness that washed over you. Remembering was the biggest curse of your entire relationship, and unfortunately for you, most of your relationship was remembering. You went without him more often than you were with him, and even the sweetest of memories were tainted with sins and sourness.

You navigated your way to the bathroom blind, your sight ridden with pictures of Jake shirtless in your bed, and worst of all, shirtless in bed with someone else.

If not for you knowing the house so well, you would have gotten lost in the endless sea of flashbacks.

From the very beginning, yours and Jake’s relationship was bound to fail. It began from lies and deceit, and it would carry on the same way until the next bitter end.

“And this is my twin brother, Jake, and his girlfriend, Suzanne.”

“You can call me Suz,” she flashed you a breathtaking smile, extending her arm towards you.

You barely registered her hand in your face, nor her friendly introduction, because you were too busy gawking at the blinding beauty of the long haired man beside her. You cleared your throat, swallowing hard and blinking twice to bring yourself back to reality. Even as you reached to shake her hand, you were unable to focus on her. As disrespectful as it was, even if it was her boyfriend, he was someone who was meant to be admired.

Plus, his wandering eyes and lustful gaze made it all the more easy to completely discredit the woman offering you her kindness.

Of course, it started that night. It started the minute his eyes locked with your own, like an unavoidable omen of the horror you would soon endure. The connection was instantaneous, and the desire followed not far behind. Although you didn’t sleep with Jake the first night you met him, you were no better than a mistress without ever taking your clothes off.

It started with lustful glances, then came the flirting in secrecy. Within days, he was going out of his way to catch you in the hallway or alone in a room to profess his affection for you. Weeks after that, the touching began, slowly but surely. It started with a lingering hand on your back, or hugs that never should have been initiated at all. Then, his hands drifted closer to your hips, and even worse, your ass. The hugs lasted far too long, and his lips treaded dangerously close to your skin.

You hated thinking about what you did to that poor woman, the tearful eyes as she berated the two of you as one. She was kind, she was beautiful, and she deserved better, but Jake Kiszka had always been too much to resist. Now, he was a habit you could not kick.

Over the years, the women became countless, and then men from your relationships, too. Everyone else saw that you could never keep a relationship, but it ran far deeper than that. You did exceptionally well at hiding your affections, and even better at hiding your betrayals. Jake and you never felt the desire to commit to one another, so instead you ruined other people while you committed to your relationship in every way other than officially. You did not intend to hurt so many people, and you never planned to betray others on behalf of each other, but it always seemed to happen no matter how hard you tried to stay away.

And then one day, the two of you had enough. You had lost too much humanity on your endless quest to be with each other, sacrificing too many people in the process. You decided to try, to be with each other in an honest and sincere way, just to make the world a little bit better for each other. You wanted to love each other openly, without anything or anyone standing in the way.

But, you didn’t want to be in a relationship.

Exclusivity was agreed upon, but labels were tossed in the garbage. The two of you convinced yourselves you were happy with the arrangement, and for a while, you truly were. At first, you kept it very quiet. You went on dates and stayed the night at each others houses, but only rarely. Most of the time, it was quick hookups whenever you had the opportunity to do so.

Then, things changed, and in his opinion, for the worst.

Both of you fell in love, completely and utterly, without question or care. Your apartment was forgotten after weeks of you staying in his bed. You shared meals together, sat outside on the porch and watched sunsets and sunrises, and said I love you in every action, but never aloud. Jake was indefinitely intertwined in your life in every way possible, and you were happy with it, until he said the dreaded ‘L’ word aloud.

It slipped out, carefully and quietly while you laid in his lap on the couch, watching reruns of your favourite shows. At first, you thought you misheard him, but the silence that hung in the air told you the truth about his words.

You loved him too, and you cursed yourself for not being able to say it back. You thought that it was too much too soon, despite living with love surrounding you constantly. It scared you, and you reacted with fear, even with your heart screaming at you to stop.

You didn’t say it back, because you neglected labels and thought it was not possible to be in love because of that. And, true, genuine love scared the absolute shit out of you.

It scared him too, but he seemed to harness more courage in that moment than you had in your entire life. Instead of applauding him for it, you effectively slapped him in the face.

For a few days, things carried on like normal, but you could notice the tension in the air. Every day, you could tell he waited to hear it, that he needed you to say it back, but it never came. After a while, he began to pull away, showing the old Jake that made you fall in lust with him in the first place. There were no more shared meals, and definitely no more sunset gazing. The television was off more often than it was on, and the blankets on the couch remained neatly folded on the back. The bed felt empty, even when both of you lied in it, because the distance between you two grew larger by the day.

But the sex?

It was better than it had ever been.

You wanted to tell him that you loved him too, but you were so paralyzed with fear that the word got stuck in your throat every time you tried to speak. Instead, you let him distance himself, knowing you’d already pushed him too far away. You continued to fall more in love with him, and he forced himself to fall out of love.

Then, you came home to him in bed, but he was not waiting for you. Instead of anticipating your arrival, so you could live as roommates rather than lovers, you found him wrapped up in another woman who gave him more than you could in the moment.

It was tearful, angry, and loud. Things were thrown, shattered on the floor, and your throat was raw from belittling the man you had only ever wanted to love.

You had finally gotten the karma you had rightfully deserved, and you finally understood the horrible pain you had inflicted on so many others.

The story finally ended the same way it started, but the two of you never recovered.

You moved out, but you were never able to rid yourself of Jake Kiszka. Intermittently, drunken and sad, you’d show up at each others doorstep and give in to your needs once more. He hated himself for hurting you, and you hated yourself for letting it get to that point. Blame was abundant, and regret plentiful, but one thing never changed; the fact that you two never fully fell out of love.

Too fearful of hurting each other the same way again, you fell back into old habits. You and Jake could never commit to each other, but could never stop loving one another enough to put an end to your toxic ways and commit to someone else. The second time around, it was much more difficult, and a lot messier. Your secret-keeping abilities had greatly decreased, and worst of all, everybody knew how you felt about each other.

When he left for his last tour, ready to release a new album and move forward in his career, you took it upon yourself to try and end the curse indefinitely. You blocked his number, removed him from your life in the most brutal ways possible, and you never spoke to him again. You vowed to start over, to be better, to love someone properly without the memory of Jake Kiszka tainting it before it could begin, and you did well.

For a while, at least. Until Josh sent you the damned message that landed you at his house that night.

With a boyfriend who you’d been with for long enough to take a bigger step, you crawled back to Jake like a dog who’d been lost without him. All it took was a single glance, and you knew Cole would meet the same fate of so many others, and you would meet the same fate that would inevitably ruin your life.

Your hands gripped the countertop of the bathroom tightly, holding yourself upright as the grief did all it could to break your bones. Your chest was heavy, your heart aching and your mind overrun with thoughts of a man you could never fully comprehend. He hurt you, and you hurt him, but never enough to put a stop to it for good. There was something deeper, something so incomprehensibly strong tying your souls together, even if you wanted to sever the bond. You could run to the ends of the earth, away from him and all of the mistrust and deceit the two of you had created, but you knew you would run so far that you would end up behind him, whispering in his ear as you pleaded to start anew.

You looked up at the mirror, trying to understand the woman staring back at you. She was a stranger, a shell of the woman who existed before meeting Jake. She was barren, cold, and tired. She wanted to love, but could not love anyone other than him, no matter how hard she tried. The bathroom door was cracked open ever so slightly, the glow of the hallway light illuminating your tired features, only worsening the sorrow you had for your former self.

As if on cue, the door creaked open by the push of a hand. The yellow glow of the lightbulbs were blocked by a body, casting a shadow over the already dim room. You did not need to look to know who it was; you could feel his presence without ever seeing his face, and it was just as beautiful as you remembered.

No matter how much you hated yourself for the relentless cruelty you inflicted and endured, it could never amount to the love you held for him in your heart.

“What are you doing up here, all by yourself?” The words were sickly sweet, settling in your spine and relieving you of all the tension that gathered over the course of the night. Without even looking at his face, you felt yourself stepping towards him, gravitating to the one thing that continually held you to the earth.

Jake closed the bathroom door behind him, locking the two of you inside together, looking at your sad expression with the utmost regret in his heart.

If only he could do it right, to take back all of the wrongs that got you to where you were, he would do it in a heartbeat, for you.

But you had always been better off as a dirty little secret, and he made a much better whore than he did a lover.

“Waiting for you to come and find me.” You quipped back, covering the sadness in your eyes with a soft smile. He stepped towards you, meeting you in the middle. He reached forward, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as he gazed down over your face.

“You look like a fucking whore.” He rasped, his voice quiet but not hateful. His eyes raked over your body, taking in your low cut dress revealing more of you than he’d seen in a long time. His hand dropped from your face entirely, instead reaching forward and anchoring itself on your hip.

You leaned closer, your painted lips barely hovering over his own. The warmth of his breath on your skin was enough to make you forget about your sadness, and any remorse for your actions fled the minute he touched you.

“You don’t like it?” You asked, pushing your bottom lip into a pout. It grazed his own, sending a rush of emotion straight through the both of you. In an instant, you were one again, two bodies combined into a single entity after being forced apart.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He let out a low chuckle, shaking his head ever so slightly at your dramatics. “You know better than that.” His other hand rose, settling on the back of your neck. The pressure of his hand on the base of your skull caused your head to tilt upwards towards his just a little more, just enough for him to see your eyes. “I love it.”

“Did you miss me, baby?” You asked, your mouth watering at the thought of tasting him alone. His cologne was suffocating, but it was so delicious that it helped you forget about the dying itself.

“Do I have to answer that?” He smirked, his body nearly completely pressed into your own. The space between you was non-existent, blatantly showcasing your lack of growth during your time apart.

Sustenance is stolen

“No, because I know you did.” Before the words even left your tongue, his lips were on yours in a heated reunion.

The sensation was euphoric, something you’d been searching for without ever realizing it. The whine that rattled your chest sent a shiver down his spine, only encouraging his bad behavior further. He drank in the sound like a man dying of thirst, desperate for a drop of anything you could give him. You were the only woman in the world who could do such things to him, and despite pledging to stay away, the two of you would always end up in each other's arms. Whether it be morally right, or morally wrong, his arms were where you were always meant to be.

In an instant, you were no longer the woman who came to the party with a boyfriend who treated her well. That title was ripped from you, stolen from his grasp in exchange for a single moment alone with the man who forever plagued your mind. Just like every man before, he stole you from him like a thief in the night, never satisfied unless he could make you his own again. He knew the love you gave was addicting, and anyone who received it was dependent upon it. He did not commit such thievery for any reason unjust, but because he remembered the effect of your affections so well. Without you, he thought he would die, and because of that, he was willing to sacrifice any other man’s life so he could survive off your love alone.

The taste of alcohol lingered on his tongue, making the moment all the more enticing. His touch was burning, but only ever pleasantly. Right and wrong did not exist; only he did, and you submitted to the knowledge that you lived solely to be his. You were not cut out to be a wife for a man who had his life together, and you were not meant to mother a child or start a family with a man who earned his keep honestly and loved sincerely. You were a mortal being who’s soul had been blackened with lust for an entity with more power than you could comprehend. You were born to play Jake’s twisted game, and over time, you had grown happy to be a part of it.

You were a whore, but only he knew how to pry that out of you. His words were laced with poison, his tongue made of opiate, his touch of ecstasy, and every action completed with intention to kill. You would not commit the crimes for another, because there was nobody else worth the effort.

“Taste just as sweet as I remember, Angel.” He withdrew a long breath, parting from you for just long enough to utter the praise.

“So good you couldn’t stay away.” You whispered, wishing he would kiss you again. It had been so long since you experienced such pleasure that you thought you might die without it.

“I can never stay away from you, sweetness.” He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and in his defense, it was.

He backed you up against the countertop, locking you in place with his hips. As he leaned his top half towards you, you leaned backwards to allow him easier access. His lips landed on the side of your neck, his kiss gentle and nowhere near what you remembered of him.

For a second, you let yourself believe there was some kind of sentiment behind his action, like he still cared and wanted to appreciate having you again.

Then, you pushed the thought from your head. The worst thing you could do to yourself was imagine that Jake cared about you, even if it was true.

His mouth traveled downward, drifting over the column of your neck and brushing over your collarbone. His tongue trailed over the soft skin, reminding himself of all he missed out on while he was gone. He was a man gone mad, driven to insanity just from the taste of you on his tongue. As tempted as he was to leave a mark behind, to claim territory that had always rightfully been his, he knew he couldn’t. He did not want to make the fallout any worse than it needed to be.

Instead of showing his true feelings, he spoke it into existence as an insult, inadvertently begging for you to validate his feelings on the matter.

“What would your little boyfriend think of you now?” He muttered, his face buried in your chest as his mouth ghosted over every available inch of skin. The hum of his voice against your body made you weak in the knees, but his words plagued you with guilt. You were not the person to get off on infidelity; in fact, before you met Jake, you despised it. You were not sleeping with him for any twisted desires or hidden kinks, but because you loved him too desperately to walk away. You would take him any way you could have him, even if it was despicable.

“The same as your girlfriend would think about you.” You reminded him, assuring he knew you were not the only one at fault. Your tone was breathy, your heart thudding against your ribs as his hands scoured your thighs. His fingertips settling just below the hem of the skirt, begging to go further but waiting for your permission.

“As if I’d ask her to be my girlfriend.” He scoffed, revolted just at the thought of it. His hands trailed higher, in search of the seam of your underwear. He seemed to freeze in place, his fingers inspecting your hips underneath the cool fabric of your dress. Slowly, his head raised from your chest, looking up at your face with a wondrous twinkle in his eye. He could not find what he was looking for, because they did not exist. His hands felt only the softness of your skin, without barrier as he smirked up at your rosy cheeks. “For me, sweetheart?”

“It’s always for you, Jake.” You averted your eyes, an unfamiliar feeling burning in the pit of your stomach. You weren’t sure why you were so sheepish of the fact; both of you knew it all too well.

“You’re too good to me, angel.” He commended your efforts to please him only because they worked so well. He bunched the skirt of your dress in his hands, pushing it up past your hips to reveal your lack of underwear. The sight of you exposed in front of him was nearly too much for him to bear, but he persevered through the abundance of lust he felt for you in hopes of drawing the reunion out a little longer.

His fingers slipped between your legs, pushing them apart so he could continue his tyranny without interruption. You watched him closely, inspecting every move as if you needed it to survive. In some sick way, you did. You felt as though if you were deprived of his touch for too long, you would succumb to death and waste away to nothingness. His touch hovered above your heat, but he was unwilling to give you what you wanted so easily.

How foolish of you to believe that Jake would be kind, even after such a long absence.

“Please touch me, Jake. Waited so fucking long.” You whined, looking down at his hand between your thighs, taunting you with the power you knew he possessed.

“Oh no, sweetheart.” He shook his head, chucking at your neediness. “You don’t get to call the shots.” He said, his eyes flickering up to meet your own. “You left, remember? You blocked my number and went off and found someone else to take my place. You don’t get to complain about it after you finally decided to come back.”

Arrogance is potent

Oh, so he was mad. Good thing for him, you could play that game, too.

“Quit it with the fucking pity party, Jacob. We both know you’re not innocent, either.” From sweet to sour in a second, your entire demeanor changed in response to his ridiculous claims.

“You should see yourself.” He smirked, moving his hand a little closer to your aching cunt, but not close enough to touch you, yet. “Just as desperate as you were the last time I saw you, still so eager to be fucked while your boyfriend waits for you downstairs.” He spit the word as if it were a bitter taste on his tongue, easily telling you that the old game of cat and mouse had changed. He was going to fuck you, but he was angry that you had tried to move on despite him doing the exact same thing.

“Oh, you poor thing.” You seethed, feeling the rise of anger begin to take over your body, too.

Clearly, leaving silently had deprived you of the release you so desperately needed. There were too many loose ends, too much emotion hanging heavy on the both of you. You had waited nearly a year to get it all out, a year of suffering before you could even begin to release some of the pain you locked up so securely in your heart.

“Don’t tell me your feelings are hurt, Jacob.” You raised an eyebrow, condemning him for feeling any kind of sorrow over your new relationship.

“Over you? As if.” He sneered, the momentary sweetness from earlier fleeing him completely. Touching you again was euphoric, telling of all he still felt of you, and he didn’t mind letting you know he missed you. Unfortunately, it brought up a whole other whirlwind of emotions that were far less appealing.

“Still doing whatever you can to convince yourself you don’t care about me, hmm?” You snipped, taking the opportunity to slide your dress over your head, leaving you completely exposed before him. “We both know why you’re upset, Jake, and it’s not because you don’t care.”

His hands shot to your hips, lifting you on the counter and setting you down on the cool surface. Now that you were locked in, his own body ensuring you could not run, his hand was between your legs again and finally connected with your cunt.

“What is it then, if you think you fucking know everything?” His fingers sliding through your folds, gathering the wetness on his fingertips and circling around your clit made it hard to respond. The feeling was so grand, even if the action was small. It was something you’d been waiting for since he got on the plane that flew him away from you, severing the twisted ties that held you two together.

The most harrowing revelation came when you understood that it was even better than you remembered it to be.

“You’re j-jealous, Jacob. Just fucking say it.” You spat between waves of pleasure, looking down at his face with a distasteful look in your eye. He was silent for a moment, opting to watch his hand working at your cunt instead of responding to your accusations. Eventually, after an unusually long bout of silence from him, his eyes flickered back to your face.

Without him saying a word, you knew you hit the nail straight on the head.

“You think it was nice to see that you found someone to take my place after I was gone?” He whispered, his tone dangerously low. “That he’s been taking up space in your bed where I used to sleep?” He growled, the curl of his lip resembling him as more of a wild animal than a man who had been hurting on your behalf. He raised his other hand to your neck, the back of his fingers gently caressing the side of it as he let his words sink in. “Do you think I liked the way he was touching you, like he was protecting his territory? Like you haven’t always been mine?” The possessive claim caused you to clench around nothing, desperate for anything more than he was giving you.

His fingers closed around your neck, the grip loose but foreshadowing of all that was to come. His face was close to yours, so close that the tip of his nose brushed against your burning cheeks and his lips were ghosting over your own.

“Answer me.” He whispered, letting his middle finger slide down to your entrance, feeling his way through the arousal he was responsible for.

“No, sir.” You shook your head, almost finding yourself sympathetic for the pain he was masking with his cruel words.

“So why did you bring him here, sweetheart? To rub it in my face? To piss me off?” He asked, slipping his finger inside you and letting his thumb drift over your clit. He began a steady pace, clearly getting himself worked up as he made a point to berate you for your decisions. “Did you want me to get jealous so I would start a fight with him and show everyone how much I fucking care about you?”

“N-no, sir.” You whimpered, feeling the flutter of an orgasm begin to blossom in the pit of your stomach. The curl of his fingers was addicting, and with every pump of his hand he was hitting the sweet spot inside you only he knew how to find.

“Don’t lie to me, baby.” He said, his fingers tightening around your neck a little further. He wasn’t ready to take it all the way, because he wanted to hear the truth before anything else. “You’re a little attention whore, and you wanted me to tell everyone out there that you’re mine. That’s all you ever fucking wanted, right? To be mine, and for everyone to know it?” The conversation was taking a dark turn, but you were too needy to complain about it. You thought if you kept talking, telling him what he wanted to hear, he would give you what you needed.

You were too stupid to realize you were only digging yourself a deeper hole, and the one you were already in was much too steep to climb out of.

“Yes, Jake. I did. That’s all I wanted.” You nodded, hoping he could feel your sincerity. You were not lying, because it was all you ever wanted. To be his and his alone was what you craved, with no one standing between you and no more secrets.

“So instead of telling me that, what did you do?” He snarled, moving his fingers a little faster. The change in pace caused your whole body to quiver. Your skin felt like it was on fire, and your mind was consumed with him entirely. He wanted you to confess, to tell him you understood the mistakes you made and atone for your sins. He needed it more than he ever needed anything else in his entire life.

“I-I left,” you choked out, feeling his fingers tighten on your pulse-point. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears, so powerful it was pulsing behind your eyes. “I was scared. I was too scared to say it, Jake.” You wheezed out, feeling your head begin to swirl from the pleasure and the lack of blood flow.

“Yeah, you fucking left. You were too scared to say it, so you left me to feel like an idiot for saying it first.” You were no longer speaking of the significant others you had left downstairs, nor your absence in the months prior. He was talking about that same dreaded instance that replayed in your mind every single day.

He was talking about it.

Aloud, he spoke the words, for the first time since the war began.

“M’so sorry, Jake.” You pleaded, feeling so strung out that the apology seemed misplaced. Recounting your mistakes did not seem fitting with his fingers inside of you and an orgasm threatening you. “I felt it too. I should have said it.”

“But you didn’t. You never fucking did, because you only ever cared about yourself.” Your eyes shot open, suddenly being pulled from the euphoria taking over your entire body. Your nostrils flared, your pupils blazing with a fire that only he knew how to ignite. He knew he struck a nerve, but it was exactly what he was intending to do.

“You fucked someone else in our bed.” You seethed, your words weak from his palm pressing against your trachea. Even in your rage, your hips moved down on his hand in search for more.

Just like always, sex was the most important thing to both of you.

“Instead of talking to me, you fucked someone else and tried to play the victim!” Your words were stronger now, fighting against his power with ease.

You were the only person in the world who ever had enough courage to challenge him.

“I guess we finally got what was coming to us, then.” He muttered, scowling at the thought of the pain you two caused each other, scowling at pain you’d caused so many others. “You still haven’t learned your lesson, because you’re back here begging for more, doing the same thing to him.”

“You don’t get to chastise me when you’re doing the same thing.” You spat, enraged at his self-righteous response.

“I never said I was any fucking better, sweetheart.” He reminded you, a small, sick smile toying at the corners of his lips. As angry as you were, and as much as your chest ached, you still knew you couldn’t walk away from him. You were destined to want Jake in the most despicable and destructive ways until the very end. The only comfort was that you knew he was destined for the same fate.

Without removing his hand from your throat, he moved forward and captured you in a kiss, sealing the evil you spewed within you forever. You pulled his bottom lip between your teeth, your need for him animalistic and unnatural even after his cruel treatment. The only reason it did not bother you was because you knew you deserved it.

As he kissed you, his hand continued working at your cunt, pushing you to the brink of an orgasm with great ease. You let out a moan into his mouth, giving him a taste of the pleasure he was granting you. He drew in a sharp breath, the sound settling deep somewhere in his soul and making home there for eternity.

He parted from you, but not because he wanted to. He would kiss you until his lips turned blue and his lungs collapsed, happy to die at your hands. He broke away because of need, and one that much much stronger than his urge to kiss you. His grip loosened around your neck and his hand dropped to your hip. He withdrew his fingers from you, causing you to let out a hiss of displeasure at the sudden loss of the orgasm he was so close to giving you.

Before you could get a complaint out, he dropped to his knees before you, gripping your hips and pulling you closer to the edge of the counter. He guided one leg over his shoulder, pressing his lips to the inside of your thigh as an apology for his sudden change in pace. At the knowledge of his next move, you were all but upset with his decision.

“Oh, fuck.” You groaned, your head falling backwards as his tongue connected with your clit. Your hand reached for his head, your fingers tangling in his hair as his tongue ran through your folds.

The sweetness of your arousal was something he’d missed so dearly, something he could never find from another. It was more addicting than any substance and it was the very reason he could get himself out of bed in the morning. Being with you in such an intimate manner was the only reason his heart continued to beat, and the only thing he continued living for. His tongue circled your clit, continuing his torment in a whole new way.

With just a single swirl of his tongue, you felt like screaming his name, just to tell the whole world how good he could make you feel. It was almost comical, how you searched far and wide for someone who could make you feel a shred of what he could, and nobody could even come close to him. Your whole body had been begging for him since you stepped foot into the familiar home, and now that you had him, it still wasn’t enough. You needed everything all at once, things he could not give to you and things you could never ask for. You needed Jake far beyond any other person, and far beyond what was possible from him.

You needed him to be more than a dirty secret, a betrayal of trust in a bathroom at a house party. You needed him to be yours, but you knew he would never be.

Your desperation was immeasurable, and your entire body was aching for the orgasm he previously denied you of. It was a terrible feeling to have, knowing that your life was completely in his hands. Whatever he decided to do with it, you would go along happily so long as it pleased him. It was a terrible thing to know you would never truly belong to yourself, even if Jake was long gone from the world.

He was living for your shallow breathing, surviving off of your choked moans. Pleasing you was his favorite thing to do, even if he hated you in the moment. There was something so gratifying about his name on your tongue, and something so beautiful about how easy it was to make you feel good. He tried his best to ignore the incessant thoughts in his head about another man touching you the same way, about someone else believing that you were theirs.

Both of you knew you were Jake’s, and he was undeniably yours. The facade you put on and the games you played with others were just that; the only thing either one of you knew to be real was the way you felt for each other. It was painful, harmful and frustrating for the two of you to constantly avoid the way your hearts felt for each other, but it was all you knew. It made more sense for the two of you to deny and lie about your feelings than it ever did to fess up.

He pulled away from you, catching his breath as he looked up at your face from between your legs. “Come on, angel. Let me hear how good I’m making you feel.” He hummed, moving his thumb over your clit so he did not lose the momentum.

“You want to hear it, baby?” You breathed, looking down at him through your lashes. “Did you miss it?”

“Dreamt of it every goddamn night.” He said as a matter of fact. You let out a whine at the sound of his words, pushed even closer to the edge at the knowledge he thought of you just as much as you thought of him.

You were in no position to deny him anything, because he was giving you the entire world. As he leaned forward, his mouth connecting with your core once again, you let a long slur of curses fall from your lips. The moan that followed could only be classified as pornographic, carrying through the door and echoing into the hallway for everyone to hear.

He was doing exactly as you wanted; he was making it so the entire house could hear how much you meant to him, even if it was not in the way you so badly wanted from him. Still, it was enough to keep you on his hook, and that was the very thing he wanted to ensure.

“God, feels so fucking good, Jake.” You gasped, feeling your abdomen tense with a particularly strong wave of pleasure. He hummed against you, speaking encouragement for the show you were putting on for him.

You knew if he continued on like such, it would not be long until you descended into an orgasm. He was waiting, just as desperate as you were to feel you let the pleasure take hold. He brought his fingers to your entrance, slipping his middle and index finger inside of you to add to the sensation. You inhaled a sharp breath, feeling the curl of his fingers hit the same spot he found so easily just moments before.

“Fuck,” you hissed, feeling yourself clench around his fingers as the knot in your belly threatened to snap. At the familiar sound, he took it upon himself to suction his lips around the sensitive bundle of nerves, adding more pressure to the already otherworldly feeling. Your grip tightened in his hair and your entire body was rigid as it prepared to be pushed over the edge. “Oh god,” you cried, your throat raw from the primal sound that tore through you.

Had his mouth not been so intently focused on you, you knew how sweetly he would have talked you through it. No matter how vicious or volatile he spoke to you, he never missed out on the opportunity to coddle you as you came. It was his favorite thing in the entire world, an excuse to show you the softness his heart had for you when he usually felt like he needed to keep it hidden. He continued pumping his fingers and moving his tongue, guiding you through the high with expert precision. As he noticed you relax against him, he tapered off his movements before pulling away completely.

He rose to his feet, already tossing his belt on the floor before he was even upright. Your mind was still swirling with the lingering euphoria, your skin electrified and your heart pounding in your chest. You watched him, wordless as he unbuttoned his pants after he threw his shirt to the ground alongside his belt. He freed himself from his boxers, the sight of him nearly too much for you to handle. You missed him so dearly and needed him so badly.

He stepped forward, landing between your legs as he gazed down at you. His lust-blown pupils turned his eyes near black, and he was aching for relief just like you had been minutes before. “I want to hear you say it, sweetheart.”

“Say what?” You asked, your eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He gave you a soft smile, void of any malice for a moment. He wanted to admire you beneath him, so desperate to have him. He wanted to enjoy the beauty of your heart being his despite being promised to someone else.

“You were just as jealous as I was, angel.” He said, his hands gripping your hips as he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter. You put all your trust in him, knowing that if he faltered, you might fall to the floor.

“So what?” You huffed, your cheeks turning red at his accusations. He smiled down at you, moving his hips forward ever so slightly. The tip of his cock rested against your entrance, already wet with your arousal.

“Do you really think I’d give her half of what I give you? That she means nearly as much to me as you do?” He questioned, his grip loosening slightly now that he had you in the position he wanted.

“No, baby.” You shook your head, wondering if tonight would be the night that things would change. “I know that.”

“You know she has nothing on you, beautiful.” His hand trailed up your side, the light touch tickling your skin as his fingers drifted over your stomach. “Nobody does.”

With that, his sweet sentiments had come to an end. He slammed his hips forward, the size of him coming as a surprise and filling you completely. A gasp left your lips as your tried to recover from the shock and adjust to him again, realizing that in the time spent away from him, nobody felt as fulfilling as he did.

To him, no one could compare, either.

“That’s it, gorgeous.” He muttered, clearly strung out from the pleasure too. In just a moment, he was back where he was all of those months ago, in love with you and desperate to hear you say it back. “God, you feel so fucking good.”

His praise was exhilarating, and his love was blissful. As he began a slow pace with his hips, the grief was almost overwhelming the pleasure. You wondered why it couldn’t feel this good with him all of the time, and you dreaded him walking away after the night came to an end.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours for a moment, likely mourning the same fate that the two of you so often fell into. Loving you was all he wanted to do, but he was so afraid of falling again that he convinced himself he wasn’t already long past in love.

His tongue danced over yours, the taste of his sin too much to bear as your chest began to ache. You wanted to remain strong, to carry on with the one thing that the two of you were good at, but it felt so different than it did all the times that came before. The emotion you had neglected to acknowledge was finally pushing to the surface, angry about being ignored.

It wasn’t the right time, but you feared the right time may never come. You had to stop being afraid, to find the courage he once had and utilize it.

You could feel it too, even in his cruel words and his harsh insults. The love was there, lingering in every touch and screamed in every kiss. You could not allow yourself to remain in the same incessant cycle of pain, but you could not will yourself away from him. There was only one way to change your ways, but it was the hardest thing you had ever done. Loving someone so completely, no matter the circumstance, was terrifying. Saying it aloud only made it all the more real.

He pulled away, breaking the kiss and in turn, breaking you from your internal brooding. He looked down over your face, his hips still rocking against yours. The pleasure in the pit of your stomach had nothing on the yearning of your heart, and he could see it in your eyes. He had to look away, to hide his heart from you so you could not break it again. He feared the longer he stared, the closer he was to confessing the same thing all over again.

In a moment of desperation, he withdrew from you entirely, letting his hands settle back on your hips. Before you could complain, he pulled you from the countertop entirely, landing you on your feet in front of him. He had to change the pace, to harness that same carnal desire and rank it more important than how he felt for you emotionally.

Without a word, he spun you around, forcing your top half down towards the counter. The cold surface was a shock to your system, especially after growing comfortable with the warmth of his body against you. He pulled your hips back towards him, positioning himself at your entrance again.

“I think I’m being far too nice to you, sweetheart.” He muttered, reaching up and grabbing a fistful of his hair. “If I remember correctly, you only like to be fucked like a whore.”

This time, when the insult slipped past his lips, it did not feel good nor did it prompt any wave of arousal. It hurt, and it hurt achingly bad.

Still, knowing you were not strong enough to utter the proclamation of love, you went along with it despite the ache in your chest.

“Yes, sir.” You hummed. Despite the sadness of the change of position, you were still excited at the idea of fucking him. If you could not love him, you knew it was the next best thing.

Slowly, he pushed inside of you, knotting your hair around his fist as he pulled your head off the counter. He leaned down, his lips hovering just over your ear as he continued at the agonizingly slow pace.

“Just like this, sweetheart?” He asked, making sure that when his hips connected with yours he added a little extra force. “Does that feel good?”

“Feels so good, baby.” You whined, the intimacy of the moment sending a shiver down your spine. His breath was hot on your neck, his voice barely above a whisper but loud and clear to you. As you answered, he let his teeth sink into your earlobe, the light pressure prompting a flutter in your stomach. Your walls clenched around him, pulling him in further and locking him there indefinitely.

Despite the pace being slow, the power behind his hips was what mattered, and with every re-entry, he added just a little more force than the last. As his cock brushed against cervix, your knees went weak and your stomach twisted into a knot. You had no idea how he could make you feel so good, but you knew you never wanted him to stop.

“He can’t fuck you like this, sweetheart.” He whispered, his lips still hovering above your ear. “He can’t make you feel this good.” He continued, his hand on your hip tightening with every word. He was mindful, careful not to leave any bruises despite his desire to. “Can he, angel?”

“F-fuck no, Jake.” You shook your head, feeling him press a kiss to the sweet spot just below your ear.

“Right, baby.” He hummed his approval, his words muffled due to his lips on your skin. “Nobody can make you feel as good as I do because you’re mine. Do you fucking understand me?”

“God, yes.” You nodded against his hold, desperate to agree with him on that fact. No matter what, you were undeniably his.

“Did you think of me when he was fucking you, angel?” He asked, his tone growing stronger by the second. He was pissing himself off the longer he thought about it, but he was willing to make that sacrifice in order to chastise you for your decisions. “Did you wonder when I would come home, when I’d come back to take care of you?

“I did, baby.” You whimpered, feeling the effects of his presence finally begin to take hold. You were strung out on pleasure, at your end already despite him being far from done with you. You were tired, but your body would not accept the fact. You thought if he stopped, you might die from the withdrawal from him. “I thought about it every fucking day.” You confessed. “I needed you, because nobody else knows how to do it right.”

“Exactly, sweetheart.” He hummed an agreement, happy to hear it from you. “You knew I’d never leave you behind. You knew I couldn’t fucking stay away.” Even if he wanted to, he never could. The confession was heavy, despite the fact already being known to you both. “God, what do you do to me?” He growled, the slam of his hips rocking your thighs forward into the countertop. Another groan tore through your chest, vibrating your entire body as he continued to fuck into you.

“Jake,” you warned, feeling your legs begin to wobble and your mind start to haze.

“I know, baby.” He crooned, placing another sloppy kiss to the exposed portion of your neck. “Being such a good girl for me. Just hold on a little longer.” At that, you let out another whine, loud and impatient, clearly unhappy about his plea to wait. In response, he roughly pulled your head to the side by your hair, craning it upwards a little further so he could press his lips to yours.

The kiss was enough to satiate your undying need for him, but the taste of his lips made the sensation in your stomach grow tenfold. The only difference was, now you could not warn him about the climax creeping up on you.

Luckily for you, he did not need to be warned about anything. He knew you better than anyone or anything, and he could feel how close you were just from your body alone.

“Oh, angel, you make it so fucking hard to say no to you.” He let out a long sigh, breaking the kiss as he let his hips rest against the curve of your ass. He had to slow down or he feared he might let go, too.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” You gave him a weak smile, your eyes heavy as you looked back over your shoulder at him.

“With you? Always good, even if it should be bad.” He chuckled, placing a kiss to your shoulder blade before he straightened up again.

His hand remained in your hair as he took a deep breath, calming himself down before beginning again. The feeling of him moving inside you again after the short break was intense, amplified by a million. Although he believed stopping might allow the two of you more time, as soon as his hips reached the same speed as before, you were both just as close to the end. He couldn’t deny you the orgasm again, and he could not hold himself back. After so long without you, he needed it more than he needed food to survive.

“Can you cum for me, baby?” He asked, pushing your head down into the counter. Your cheek was squished against the surface, and his hips were moving with such strength that it made your head spin. There was no question that you could reach the climax, because you had been doing nothing but trying to hold back.

Instead of responding, your eyes closed and the burning in your stomach reached a whole new level. You had never gone so long without him, and now you had no tolerance for the pleasure that came with his company. A choked moan filled the air, letting him know that you were doing exactly what he asked of you.

His hand on your hip tightened as he pushed you further down on the counter. “That’s my girl.” He muttered, looking down at your face as you descended into pleasure. Your legs trembled and your lungs burned, but you were on top of the world. You felt better than you ever had, and likely better than you ever would. It had nothing to do with the sex, nor the stimulation of him inside you, but rather just the thought of being his.

You managed to sing his name through the mess of moans and curses, the sound heavenly to his ears. He waited so long to hear you say it like that again, and it sent him over the edge just the same as you. As you reached the high together, the world felt right again, like coming home after an inexplicably long and tiresome day. He spilled his release inside of you, feeling you relax against him as he slowed his thrusts. He leaned down, pulling your head to the side with much more caution than last time, and kissed you with all the love he could muster in his whole body.

You stayed like that for an abnormal amount of time, neither of you keen on the idea of parting from one another. Eventually, he broke the kiss, looking down over your face with adoration in his eyes. He did his best to snap himself out of it, knowing he shouldn’t be feeling such things about you, but unable to stop. He straightened up again, making sure to admire the entire scene of you below him, too fucked out to form a single thought. Then, his eyes traveled to the mirror, catching a glimpse of your position from a whole new perspective. He swallowed hard, his jaw tensed as he let out a shaky breath.

“How am I supposed to let him take you home tonight after seeing you like this, sweetness?” He asked, looking at your reflection in the mirror. When he realized your head was pushed too close to the countertop for you to see too, he used his grip on your hair to pull you upwards.

Staring back at you was a mess of the woman you walked into the bathroom as. Your cheeks were streaked with mascara, your skin red and blotchy and your hair a mess. Beside your reflection, you could see him watching you, studying you. His eyes were fixated on your face, taking in every detail you were noticing. To him, you were not a mess; you were the most beautiful thing to ever grace the earth. The mess just made it all the better, especially knowing he was the one who caused it.

‘I don’t want to go home with him, Jake. I want to stay here with you.’ You thought it, but did not dare say it aloud. The flash of sadness in your eye was apparent to him, for he had the same one in his.

What I see is unreal

I've written my own part

Eat of the apple, so young

I'm crawling back to start

If you did not speak now, you never would. Could you remain the same forever, or did you need to change to survive? You did not know what to do, or how to feel. If you said it, would it even mean anything, or would it be a waste of breath? He did not want to hear the words a year later; he needed it way back when the two of you were curled up together on the couch, when he used every last ounce of courage to say it first. He didn’t need to hear it now. He didn’t need you fucking up his life again. He didn’t need you.

But if he did not need you, why did he abandon his date in search of you, in search of what you used to be?

There was no more anger between you. Your eyes locked together in the mirror, housing a silent battle of uncertainty as you watched each other's every move. If you spoke the truth, the world would change indefinitely, but you did not know if it would be for better or for worse.

Oh, what did it fucking matter anymore?

You had to say it, to know that you exhausted every option to keep the man your heart sang hymns about. You could deal with the consequences later, because right now, you both needed to hear it.

“What’s wrong, beautiful?” He asked, knowing there was some kind of war being waged in your head. He was afraid, not of what you wanted to tell him, but because he thought you wanted to end the constant debacle between you.

You could deal with the aftermath later, but you were done being sad. He waited so long, just the same as you, and you had to say it.

I repent tomorrow

Hey ah na na tomorrow

I suspend my sorrow

“I don’t want to go home with him, Jake.” Your voice was strong despite your worry the words would not make it past your lips.

“Then don’t.” He could not help the spark of hope that ignited in his chest. He rested inside of you, terrified to move as he awaited what you would say next.

“You mean it?” Say it, or forever hold your peace, coward.

“You know there’s always a place for you in my bed.” He was unsure if he was taking your confession in the way you meant it, but by god he hoped that was what you meant. Your eyes caught his again, holding him captive with your stare. There was not enough courage in the world for you to say it, but you could not hide it any longer.

“I love you too, Jake.” You said, your tone strong and your intent true. Nearly a year later, you finally said it.

The world was still. The commotion outside of the doorway stopped, and your relentless thoughts wasted away to nothing. For a moment, you even believed your heart ceased to beat.

“I love you, Jake. I should have said it a long time ago, but I’m saying it now, and it has to count for something.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” he said, statue-like as he stood behind you. For a moment, you thought you might die from the pure grief that encased your heart. You waited too long. It was too late. “I’m sorry I hurt you, and I should have said that a long time ago.”

Neither of you moved, and neither of you knew what to do next.

You got what you thought he could never give, and he heard what he feared you might never say.

Was it over? Was that it? Did you end the curse that had plagued you since the very beginning? Had you repented enough for the rottenness of your actions?

Could you really have him with no secrets and no more lies? Could you love him without restraint, without any pain?

“Let me love you, Y/N. Let me do it right this time.”

“Okay.” You nodded, your eyes never leaving his face. “Please, Jake. The world hasn’t felt right since that night, until now. I want to try again, and I don’t want to be a terrible person anymore.”

Carefully, he withdrew from you, trying to limit the mess as he helped you up off the counter. He turned you to face him, bringing his hand to your cheek to swipe away a tear that escaped your eye.

“I have been waiting a lifetime to hear you say that, sweetheart. I would be a fucking idiot if I gave it up twice.” You lifted your head, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry I was so stupid.” You said, reaching out and wrapping your arms around him.

The hug was simple, but to the two of you, it was everything.

“I was stupid, Y/N.” he said, burying his head in your hair. He took a deep breath, finally feeling the tension in his body fade away into nothing. The smell of your shampoo, and more specifically, the way his pillows used to smell when he was sleeping next to you, was his favorite thing in the whole world, and he’d been deprived of it for far too long. “I don’t want to be stupid anymore. I just want you.”

“I was always yours, Jake.” You whispered, closing your eyes as you rested your cheek on his bare chest. “From the minute I met you, until my very last day on earth.” He did not need to reply for you to know he was yours, too.

Finally, after writing your own wretched tale, you had grown enough to rewrite it and atone for all of the mistakes you made before.

Finally, you could love him without having to worry about anything else, without pain, and without suffering.

Finally, he was yours, and only yours, like it always should have been from the very beginning.

[somethinginthewayiam]

The girl behind the bar : the date Part 3 - the apartment (2/2)

pairing: Jake Hangman Seresin x plus-size reader

warnings: SMUT, p in v (protected of course), playful banter as always

words: 4,8k

Summary: Over in your bedroom, things continue to be steamy between you and Jake...

a/n: We're picking up right where we left off and, if I might say so myself, this is pretty hot. I'm actually quite proud of myself. Enjoy!

Link to my masterlist

“This is my bedroom and over there is the bathroom, if you want to…wash your hands, or something”, you told him as you stopped in front of your bed and suddenly felt a little self-conscious about the fact that his fingers had just been inside of you.

When he didn’t say something, you turned around and noticed how close he was standing. He looked at you like you imagined an animal looking at its prey. Without breaking the eye contact, he lifted his fingers that were just inside of you up to his mouth and sucked on them. “You taste good, baby. Wanna try?”, he asked in a low tone. You looked up at him with big, doughy eyes and lightly nodded your head. The next moment, you felt his fingertips at your bottom lip. You opened your mouth and he slowly pushed his fingers inside.

Your tongued played around them as you closed your lips and sucked them deeper into your mouth. A tingling sensation in your lower stomach spread out all over your body. His eyes on you got darker as he watched you. He took a step closer and you could feel his hard cock against your lower abdomen. At this feeling, you sucked his fingers a little harder.

He pulled his hand from your mouth and put it on your neck to pull you in for a passionate kiss. His body pushed yours back until you fell on your mattress together. You automatically opened your legs and he settled in between them.

As you made out, one of his hands wandered to your breast, kneading it and pinching your nipple which made your hips rock up. His hand wandered further down, between your bodies, and his fingertips grazed your clit that was still sensitive from before. You arched your back and gasped.

He wrapped his hand around his hard cock and let it run through your folds, teasing your entrance. It felt good. It felt too good.

“Condom”, you called out, pulling yourself back into the reality of the moment. Jake stopped in his motions like he had to pull himself out of a trance as well. “Yeah, sure. Sorry”, he said and rolled off you. You got up on your elbows to breathe for a moment. Everything with Jake felt so intense that it almost made you forget your number one rule: to always use a condom the first time you sleep with someone.

“Where do you keep your condoms?”, he asked. “Night stand, top drawer”, you told him and let yourself fall back into your pillows. “No, wait”, you shot up but it was too late.

“What do we have here?”, he said and you could hear the chuckle in his voice. He held up your Satisfyer and G-spot vibrator as he turned back around to you. “Put that back. Please”, you said and tried to grab one of your toys but he was quicker and held it out of your reach.

“Who knew you had quite the collection?”, he teased. “Having two toys is not nearly a collection”, you told him and raised an eyebrow at him. “Can you please put them back?”, you pleaded and felt your cheeks burning up.

“Should we use them?”, he suddenly asked and stunned you with his question. “What? No!”, you quickly said and were finally able to collect them back. You leaned over him and put the toys back in your night stand. You grabbed the packet of condoms and put it on top of the night stand.

“Are you embarrassed that I found them?”, he asked and put a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Let’s say I’m not thrilled”, you replied as you leaned back and sat on your legs next to him. “Why?”, he asked. “I don’t know”, you honestly answered. You really didn’t know why you felt embarrassed about it but you did.

“Okay, but I need you to know that I don’t find them embarrassing. It’s actually kinda hot to imagine you using them. Really hot”, he said and let his fingers travel up your thigh. “Really?”, you asked with a shy voice and followed his fingers with your eyes.

“Really”, he nodded, leaned over and kissed you. You straddled his hips and put your arms around his neck, pressing your boobs against his chest. You knew by now how much he liked that and you liked it too. Your hips rocked forward and ground over his cock that was still hard. Impressive.

You broke the kiss only to lean over and grab the box of condoms. You ripped it open and grabbed one before you threw the box back on the night stand. You unwrapped the condom and rolled it onto his cock, stroking it a few times in the process.

Jake wrapped his arms around you and rolled you onto your back, settling between your legs. He hooked his arm under your right knee and pushed it upwards, putting it on his hip. He reached between your bodies like he did before, grabbed his cock and aligned it with your entrance.

“Ready?”, he asked. You nodded your head. “Yes”, you whispered. He leaned down and gave you a gentle kiss, left you wanting more when he pulled back.

Jake slowly pushed himself inside you. Your hands flew up to his shoulders as you gasped at the sensation of being filled by him, arching your back. “Oh, yes”, you breathed out when he was fully inside you. A deep growl escaped his lips.

He wanted to give you a few moments to adjust to him before he would start to move, but you got a little impatient and started to roll your hips at him. “Always so impatient”, he whispered at your ear and pulled his hips back only to push in again, a little faster this time.

“Mhm, yeah”, you moaned and ran your hands down his sides, gasping for air when he pushed in again. His hips started to move faster and harder against you.

“Fuck, you feel so good”, Jake moaned and pushed your legs further apart with his thighs, going a little deeper this time. “Oh, baby”, you whined and scratched his back at the sensation.

Hearing you call him a nickname for the first time was such a turn on for him that he immediately picked up the pace. His hips snapped harder against yours, his cock going even a bit deeper.

“Oh god, yes! Jake, fuck me”, you called out, your hands gripping the sheets around you.

You were both breathing heavily, the sound of skin slapping on skin filled the room. You pulled him down for a sloppy kiss as you wrapped your legs around his hips, pushing him closer to you which also caused him to slow down a bit. He placed his lower arms on each side of your head.

This way his pubic bone was pressing directly on your clit as he kept on moving his hips. Your moans got louder with the increased sensation. One of your hands moved into his hair while the other one moved down onto his back, scratching his skin with your fingernails.

“Oh god, I’m gonna come. Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come”, you moaned and your breath quickened even more. You were almost getting light-headed, but his deep growls and guttural moans kept you in the moment. It was such a sexy sight to see, him all sweaty on top of you, falling apart because he was about to come.

Your inner walls tightened around him with your nearing orgasm, making it really hard for him not to come himself immediately but to hold out until you had reached your peak. He pushed himself up into a kneeling position and picked up the pace again. This also caused your wonderfully large breasts to bounce with his thrusts. “You’re so fucking hot, Y/N”, he pressed out. He felt like he was about to explode.

Jake placed his hand on your lower stomach and worked your clit with his thumb. “Ahh!”, you cried out at the rush of electric shocks this movement sent through your body. Your hands grabbed the sheets again with a tight grip. You moaned loudly with every one of his thrusts, pushing yourself against him. You clenched tightly around him as your orgasm washed over you, your next breath got stuck in your throat. You arched your back so hard it was almost painful. “Ahhh, oh god…oh god…ugh”, you pressed out breathlessly as you came.

Your grip around his cock was too much for him, especially combined with the sight before him as you came undone. Jake managed two more hard thrusts before he stilled in his motions and emptied himself into the condom. A deep, guttural moan came from the back of his throat as he held himself up on his hands, his hips jerking against your body before he collapsed on top of you.

He moved his upper body to the side to not lay on you with his full body weight but he wanted to stay inside of you as long as possible.

You were both breathing heavily and bathed in the afterglow of your joined orgasm. His face was placed directly next to yours. When you looked over, he leaned forward a little and pressed a kiss to your nose.

His arm was draped across your chest and the fingers of your right hand were gently running up and down the skin of his arm. You were taking a deep breath, trying to calm down your racing heart, but you feared it might not just be from the amazing sex you’ve just had.

You leaned forward and kissed him. Your tongue ran along his bottom lip and then dove into his mouth. You put your hand over his and moved it onto your breast, squeezing it with his hand. Your body pressed into his and you put a leg over his hip, turning the two of you to the side.

“I know I’m still inside of you but I need a minute…or two”, Jake commented as he pulled back from the kiss. You smiled and pressed another kiss to his mouth.

“I know, I’m just…The harder I come, the hornier I am right after”, you explained and pressed another kiss to his lips. “Good to know”, he said and his hand ran up your spine, resting on the nape of your neck. “It’ll pass. Just give me a moment”, you said and kissed him again. It became quite passionate and you could feel his cock twitching inside you but it was still going soft.

You gave him one last kiss, lingered with your lips on his and then pulled back, letting yourself fall onto your back. Jake took care of the condom and disposed it in the trash can in your bathroom.

“You can take a shower if you want to”, you told him as you laid spread out on your bed. “Only if you come with me”, his head popped out of the door and a dirty grin spread across his face. “Sounds lovely. But I have to take care of this mess and this mess”, you said and with your finger you circled your lower region and your face. You were sure your make-up was all over the place by now.

Jake pouted at you for a moment before he got into the shower. You waited for him to finish before you left the bed.

Leaning on the doorframe, you watched him dry himself off with a towel. “Enjoying the show?”, he asked and shot you a look. You could see him flexing his muscles and chuckled. You walked over to him and gave him a deep and long kiss. “Still a no for the joined shower? I don’t mind showering again”, he told you. “Still a no”, you nodded your head.

“Just get back to bed, I won’t take long”, you told him and walked a step over to your bathroom mirror before it hit you. “That’s if you want to stay the night. I don’t know if…”, you stumbled over your words and looked at him through the mirror. He came over to you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll be happy to stay if you have me”, he mentioned. “Then I’ll see you in a bit”, you concluded.

He playfully slapped your butt. “Don’t take too long”, he said and winked at you through the mirror until he finally left the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

As soon as you heard the click of the door, you took a deep breath. Oh my god, you just had sex with Jake Hangman Seresin. And it was fucking incredible!

If someone had told you that back when you met him, you would have called them crazy and had them thrown out of the bar. The two of you had come a long way and the road sure had some bumps along the way.

You looked at yourself in the mirror for real since you first stepped in and saw how ruined your make-up actually was. Your skin was covered in sweat and your hair looked like a big bird’s nest.

“Good god”, you exclaimed and quicky removed your make-up. Then you combed your hair and put it up in a quick bun for your shower.

Afterwards, you changed into an oversized dark blue shirt with the word NAVY on it that was hanging on your hamper. You undid the bun and walked back out to your bedroom.

Jake had made himself comfortable in bed and had his boxer briefs back on. You noticed that your underwear was now hanging over the chair in the corner of your room instead of still being scattered around your apartment. Nice touch.

You walked over to your dresser and grabbed a fresh pair of panties, putting them on.

“Hey, I remember that”, Jake said when you turned around and got into bed. “The night at the bar”, he added. “That’s right”, you just said. You slept in it from time to time because it reminded you of him and your time together in that stormy night at the bar.

“Is there a chance you have that other shirt on you? I’m allowed to wear that now”, you joked as you pulled up the covers, reminding him of the I fucked a guy in the navy shirt you had found in the lost-and-found-box, while you settled in his arms, cuddling up to him. “Sadly no, but I’ll make sure I get you one”, he said and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in a little more.

“As lovely as that is, I think I’m getting quite hot”, you said after just a minute in his arms and pulled your head back for some fresh air.

“No one told you to put on a shirt”, he said, leaving his eyes closed like he was about to fall asleep and his arms tightly wrapped around you. “I don’t think the shirt is the problem. You’re basically a human furnace”, you told him and attempted to move out of his arms. You weren’t used to sleeping with someone in your bed, let alone so close to someone.

“The shirt is our only problem, ‘cause I’m not letting go”, he said and pulled you in again. “Jesus, Jake”, you huffed out as his hot body pressed against yours. You didn’t actually mind it but it was fun to have your typical banter going.

“You brought up the love languages and now you have to deal with it”, he commented. “But I didn't tell you to choose physical touch and make it your whole personality”, you countered and playfully pushed him away from you but you both knew you weren't really trying.

You tried to get out of his arms again and his grip on you got stronger. “Y/N, I’m warning you”, he said, his eyes still closed. “What the hell are you warning me about, huh?”, you asked a bit surprised by his choice of words.

Before you knew it you were pinned underneath him, his legs settling between yours, hips pressed together and his hands on your wrists, gently pushing your arms above your head. You gasped in surprise and looked at him with big eyes.

“I’m afraid that if you don’t settle down in my arms and take that shirt off willingly, I might have to take it off myself”, he spoke in a low voice, a growl in the back of his throat. Seeing you pinned underneath him had his pupils dilating.

“Yeah?”, you challenged him, the surprised look on your face quickly being replaced by a smug grin. “I’d like to see you try, Lieutenant”, you whispered and lifted your chin as you spoke, challenging him.

He looked at you for one more second and then his mouth was on yours. He forcefully kissed you, his hips pressing into yours.

You moaned at the excitement he awakened in you with his actions. Who knew you liked to be a little manhandled, under the right circumstances?

Jake held your wrists together with just one hand but you weren’t really protesting him anyway. With his free hand, he pulled up the hem of your shirt over your boobs, exposing them to him. With the way the shirt was pinned beneath you, the stretched fabric pressed your boobs together nicely.

“Fuck, they look so good”, he said and the next moment he bent down to take one of your nipples into his mouth and played with it with his tongue. You gasped at the feeling.

He let go of your hands but you kept them up there as he moved a little further down and settled between your legs. He grabbed both your breasts with his hands and kneaded them, even sticking his face in there. You loved how he worshipped your boobs. You had sensitive nipples and every pinch, every twirl and lick sent an electric shock right between your legs.

Your hands were in his hair again, making it stand up in every direction possible but you couldn’t care less.

“Fuck, that feels so good, baby”, you moaned and arched your back. You pulled the shirt off your body and tossed it to the side.

“I’m obsessed with your boobs”, Jake mentioned and kept squeezing your tits. “And I’m obsessed with you being obsessed with my boobs”, you told him and ran your fingers through his hair.

“Oh fuck, I need you baby. I need you inside me”, you whined and pulled him up to your face to kiss him passionately. Your hands reached down to pull at his boxer briefs, getting them off his body again while his hands grabbed your underwear and pulled them down as well.

Together, you rolled over so you were straddling him. You grabbed the box of condoms off the night stand and pulled one from it.

Just like before, you unwrapped it and put it on his hard cock between you. But this time, he didn’t roll you over. This time, he wanted you to ride him, take control.

You lifted your hips so he could align himself with your center and then you slowly sank back down, taking him inside inch by inch until he was fully inside you. The foreplay with your boobs had you completely soaked. You moaned out loud at the feeling, just like Jake.

Your hips started rolling forward, lifting them off him ever so slightly before you pushed back down. Your arms were hooked around his neck, your hands wandering into his hair. His hands roamed your back before they ended up on your ass. He kneaded the flesh with a tight grip and pushed your hips against him with your movements.

It wasn’t long until you were riding him hard and fast, both of you gasping for air between your sloppy kisses. You felt that knot in your stomach, indicating that your next orgasm, the third one of the night, was approaching you rather quickly. You didn’t want this to end just yet. You wanted to bathe in your horny, passionate bliss for as long as possible.

You slowed down and pushed Jake into the cushions with your hands on his chest. You leaned down with him and kissed over his jaw, down his neck and along his collarbone. You reached behind you and collected his hands from your ass and pushed them over his head.

You knew you weren’t nearly strong enough to actually hold them there if he didn’t want to but he played along.

You leaned back up and started to ride him slowly, letting your hips rock back and forth at an almost excruciating pace.

"I'm just gonna enjoy the view for a moment", he commented and interlocked his fingers behind his head.

You let your head fall back, closing your eyes and enjoying the intimacy and the feeling of being filled by him. Your hands came up to cup your breasts, pinching your nipples. Your hands moved up further into your hair, collecting it and holding it in a ponytail for a moment because it had gotten quite hot in your little bedroom, before letting it cascade down your back again.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful", Jake commented. You opened your eyes again and looked at his face. A smile pulled at the corners of your lips as you leaned forward, putting your hands on his chest before you started to slowly circle your hips. "Oh fuck", Jake breathed out and his hands shot to your hips. He didn't stop you, just letting his hands wander with your hips. You started to push down into his pelvis a bit harder, tightening your walls.

“Oh god, babe”, he growled as his grip on your hips got tighter. You felt how he fought with himself not to take over. You put your hands on either side of his head and bent down until your chest was pressed firmly against his.

“Fuck me, Hangman”, you whispered at his ear. You didn’t need to tell him twice.

He wrapped his arms around your back like a vice before he started to basically jackhammer into you. You screamed out at the sudden change of pace and the new angle that hit just right.

“Ah, fuck! Fuck! FUCK!”, you blurted out as your orgasm came rushing over you but Jake kept going and managed to drag out your orgasm while he was chasing his own. As his mouth was right at our ear, you could hear him growl and mutter utter filth under his breath as he came.

The sound of something shutting woke you up the next morning. From the way the light shone into your room, you could tell that it was still quite early. You had trouble fully opening your eyes and wanted to get back to sleep. Your hand wandered over to Jake’s side as you wanted to cuddle up to him and put your head on his chest. He had finally convinced you last night to try to be a cuddle-sleeper and you had to admit you liked it. You just weren’t allowed to wear shirts while doing it.

Your hand grabbed at thin air and hit the mattress instead. And the mattress was cold. Your eyes shot open, now being fully awake.

That motherfucker didn’t just sneak out and leave without saying…

“Morning”, you head from your door and looked over your shoulder. Jake was standing there, fully dressed in his clothes from last night, a cup of coffee in his hands. You turned around and wrapped the sheet around your naked body.

“Morning”, you mumbled and sat up. Jake came over and sat down on the edge of your bed. He leaned over and gave you an incredible kiss. You could only hope that your morning breath wasn’t too bad.

“Why are you dressed?”, you asked. All you could think about was to get him back into bed and out of his clothes. “Some of us have to work in the morning”, he reminded you and a smile played around his lips. “Oh, yeah”, you said and slowly remembered that it was a Wednesday morning today.

Since you started working at a bar and having shifts until one or two AM, you’ve gotten used to sleeping until 9 or 10 AM every day.

Jake handed you the cup of coffee and you took a big sip. “What time is it?”, you asked. “6 AM”, he answered. “In the morning?”, you blurted out. Jake chuckled at your facial expression. “I’m sorry if I woke you up, but I have to be at work at 6:30 AM”, he told you and brushed a strand of your hair out of your face. You enjoyed his touch, even if it only lasted a second.

“I thought you had left without saying goodbye”, you admitted and looked at him a little embarrassed. He cocked his head at you. “I would never do that to you. Why would you think that?”, he asked. You shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know. You seemed like the type”, you replied and felt bad about your comment.

“Well, I can’t say I’ve never done that before but those days are behind me”, he clarified and pushed another strand of your hair behind your ear and let his hand linger on your cheek. You leaned into his touch and enjoyed his warmth.

“And what was that noise?”, you asked to change the subject and took another sip of your coffee. “I couldn’t find your cups. They’re supposed to be somewhat close to the coffee maker, you know”, he said. “My kitchen is perfectly arranged, thank you”, you commented and nodded to underline your point. “Alright”, he nodded with a chuckle and leaned forward to kiss your forehead before he got up from your bed.

“You really have to go?”, you asked and ran your hand over the mattress. “The bed feels so empty without you already”, you pouted and let sheet slip off your body. “You’re killing me”, he told you but you could see his eyes wandering down your naked body. You put the cup of coffee on your night stand and got on your knees in your bed, coming face to face with Jake.

You put your hands on his collar and pulled him a little closer. “Is there any way I could convince you to stay?”, you asked him with your best flirty tone. “There are a lot of ways and I’m really tempted, believe me. But I have an important meeting this morning”, he told you and he sounded like he was really struggling. You noticed that he made sure not to touch you because he knew it was over as soon as he felt your hot skin underneath his fingertips.

“How important?”, you asked and let your hands run down his clothed chest. “Uhm, like national, uhm, security important”, he said and his voice sounded strained. That actually sounded important. You guessed you had to make do with torturing him a little bit.

“Okay, I understand. I’ll guess I have to keep myself company this morning”, you told him as you let go of him and laid back down on your bed. You let your hand wander down your stomach and between your legs.

“Y/N”, he warned you as he took two steps back but his eyes followed your hand. You dragged it out for one more second before you pulled the sheet over your body. “Okay, shows over. Go, be important”, you said in a defeated tone and motioned towards your door. Jake smiled at you but looked a bit relieved.

He came towards the bed to finally kiss you goodbye but you stopped him with your hands held up. “I’m warning you. If you come over here, I WILL wrap myself around you and not let go. But I will behave for America’s safety. So, go”, you told him again.

Jake shook his head at you with a chuckle and walked towards the door. “Will you come by the bar tonight?”, you asked him and he stopped in his tracks. “Of course, sweetheart”, he said as he turned around. You pulled a face at the nickname. “Still no to sweetheart?”, he asked. “Still no to sweetheart”, you confirmed. “See you tonight”, he said. “I’ll be the girl behind the bar”, you told him with a flirty smile before he finally left your apartment.

a/n: Even though it might seem like it, this is not quite the end. If you guys remember, Jake still has a bet debt to pay.

next chapter: Hangman's shift at the Hard Deck

[malarign]

crybaby

(when they find you crying)

contains: bf!maknaeline x gn!reader | genre: angsty fluff | tw! crying obv, kissing, low self esteem, appearance insecurities, burn out, stress, lmk if i missed anything! | wc:

reblogs are highly appreciated!

author’s note: sorry it took so long, but i’ll try to post more often now! 😼 also big thank you to @odxrilove for beta reading!

for hyung line version go here!

Kim Sunoo | 김선우

Looking from your computer screen to the window you felt dizzy. All those hours you spent trying to write something that made sense weren’t as productive as you thought they would be. You just stared at your short story helpless, no sensible thoughts came to your mind, causing a few tears to form in your eyes.

Closing your laptop harshly, you hid your face in the palms of your hands and sobbed loudly. Your cries brought attention to Sunoo who’s been busy preparing some warm meal for both of you. He kind of knew something was wrong - you seemed exceptionally stressed and nervous the whole day so he waited patiently for some reaction from you. He ran up to your room, leaving the stove turned off.

He saw you shaking slightly with every sob, sitting quite uncomfortably in front of your now closed computer.

“Sweetheart?” He watched how your head shot up at the nickname. He tried to send you a comforting smile, but at the sight of him you teared up even more. “Hey, what’s going on?” he asked, gently stroking your hair.

You brought your form closer to him, trying to find comfort in his hug, but even that didn’t seem to help.

“I feel so bad,” you stuttered out. “I don’t feel it anymore, I don’t know how to write,” you cried bitterly.

“What do you mean? You love writing,” he tried to understand, especially since nothing pointed to your sudden burnout.

“I feel like I’m getting lost in between all those words, and I’m so scared, Sunoo. I know nothing apart from writing, it’s my whole life. But now I’m not able to rig up at least one good sentence or even a phrase.”

He felt how a stain of your tears on his T-shirt became bigger and bigger with your every word. He wished he knew how to help you, but none of you truly imagined a moment like this. Writing and storytelling has been your passion for the longest time, he loved every single one of them and always wondered how you were able to give utter to your stories so beautifully.

“Maybe, try to rest for a while,” he said after thinking for a while. “Don’t you think you’ve been pushing yourself a bit too much lately? Burnout doesn’t mean your passion is completely gone, but that you should prioritize yourself now.”

He felt how you nodded slowly. You pulled away from him to wipe your face. Cupping them he planted a sweet peck on your nose and forehead earning a small smile from you.

Yang Jungwon | 양정원

Looking in the mirror you almost didn’t recognize the person who stood in its reflection. They looked at you but at the same time it wasn’t you. Then why did everything tell you this is how you looked?

Without noticing it tears started cascading your cheeks in hot pathways. Your body was far from perfect and you knew it damn well. How could you do that to yourself? How could you neglect your body like this?

Trying to calm down before your boyfriend Jungwon would come back home from work you fanned your face with your palms in hope it would stop your tears from overflowing, but it was self-defeating. It only made you cry harder, disgusted at the thought of him having to bear with you.

“Y/n?” His voice brought your attention. You turned around to face him with tears-stained cheeks and his face grew completely pale. “Y/nie…” he cooed and stepped closer to you.

When he almost had you in his arms you took a few steps back. He looked at you confused, tilting his head in question.

“Do you love me, Jungwon?” you asked once your sobs calmed down a bit.

He froze at his spot, not knowing what hurt him more - you questioning his feelings or the state you were in.

“Of course I love you. So much, Y/n.” You looked down at his words. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no of course you didn’t.” You were quick to respond.

“Then what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked and extended his arm to you. You took his hand hesitantly and he pulled you to him, engulfing you in a comforting hug. “You know you can tell me everything.”

“Why?” you asked, facing him and watched how confusion painted his face again. “Why do you even love me? I’m not pretty, I’m not as talented as you are, I’m not an interesting person at all, so why are you interested in me?” Tears started spilling down your cheeks, but Jungwon was quick to wipe them with a gentle smile.

“My lovely, the thing is I disagree with everything you just said. To me you’re the most beautiful, talented and interesting person I know. I love you for everything and you have no idea how I wish you could see yourself from my point of view. Then you would love yourself just like I love you,” he said, playing with your hair in the meantime.

Looking at his eyes apart from his love for you you saw sincerity, both brought smile to your face again, forgetting about those thoughts for a while.

Nishimura Riki | 西村力

Riki stared at the screen of his phone, waiting for any response from you. It’s been an hour or two since your exam ended, yet there was no message from you saying how it went. The lack of it already told him everything, but the silence from your end made him sick to his stomach.

He finally reached your apartment and quietly opened the front door. Usually he made sure you knew he came over, being loud and cracking jokes just from the moment he stepped inside. Today was different though. He knew what awaits him and prepared for the high possibility of dealing with your sadness. He peeked inside, looking for you and trying to hear any sound of sobs coming from inside. And he indeed heard some sniffles coming from your room along with your playlist for crying.

He took off his shoes and quietly opened the door, minding that at a certain point they creak pretty loudly. The sight made his heart drop. You were laying on your bed with eyes completely red from crying, trying to stop more tears from flowing down.

“Y/nie,” Riki called your name bringing your attention. You tried to smile but finally seeing him made you feel more emotional and embarrassed at your total failure. He sat at the edge of your bed, covering your body with a blanket. Cupping your cheek, he rubbed it with his thumb wiping the lonely tear along the way. “Let me make you your favorite tea, how does that sound?” he asked and was about to stand up when you firmly grabbed his wrist.

“Can you stay here instead?” you asked in a low voice that threatened to crack at any moment.

“Of course,” he responded almost immediately.

He laid down next to you and let you nestle up to his warm body. You tried to calm down for a long time now, but nothing worked as good as his sweet voice murmuring soft confessions to your ear and the comforting scent of his perfume.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked but you shook your head against his chest. “Do you want to watch something then? We could watch Tangled for example,” he suggested.

You slowly raised your head showing him the biggest puppy eyes and pout you were able to put. He chuckled at your obsession with the animation and reached for your laptop to search for it.

“I love you, baby, and I’m so proud of you,” he said against your forehead in between soft pecks he planted on it.

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

taglist: (open) @nicholasluvbot, @en-chantedtomeetyou, @skzenhalove, @nfrgirl, @kpoprhia, @redm4ri, @jaelaxies, @yenqa, @heesitation

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

LITA Special Novel Excerpt: Sky and Pai's Phone Sex

(Requested by Anon)

This takes place several years after the end of Love in the Air, when Pai is sent on a 2 month business trip and Sky stays behind in Thailand to work on his Master's thesis.

I have a machine translation, I edited it for clarity as best I could.

"It's been like this for days!"

Sky roared, because in this state he couldn't continue his work. So, the young man got up, taking long strides towards the bedroom while also taking off his pants. As soon as he arrived at the bed, his whole body wore only an old t-shirt. Sky did not hesitate to sit against the headboard, spread his legs, and put his hands on his crotch.

The young man closed his eyes, thinking of the big man who always drove him wild when he sucked Sky's cock.

He saw a sharp face stained with sweat, dark and sexy eyes, and lips that were parted to take his sensitive part. Pai is a person who has a passion for sucking Sky even when his throat is tense and his veins bulging. P'Pai always makes him shiver, teasing with a nudge at the tip of the pinhole to flick precum into his mouth, while he raises his head and looks at Sky with a provocative smile.

'Sky, do you like being teased by me?'

"Ugh, argh."

Just as he thought of his lover, the beautiful cock was even redder. Sky was so aroused that his legs were aching.

His breathing was noticeably heavier, and his face tilted up against the headboard.

"P'Pai, ugh, do it again."

Sky let out a groan, rubbing the head of his cock with his palm, feeeling the moisture seeping out.

His other hand lowered to grasp the soft lump on both sides, lightly squeezing it and drawing out more moans.

'I just licked your cock and your hole is already twitching, you naughty boy.'

He heard the rumble of the man who would have mocked him with those eyes fixed on Sky's twitching hole.

"P'Pai, I don't know if you are aware that lately I love it when you use your tongue to eat my hole."

Prapai likes to nudge and push his tongue all the way in, then roll it until Sky squirms along with his movement.

"P'Pai, eat my hole. I want you to eat my hole."

Now, the words alone aren't enough. Sky could feel an itching in his stomach and his hole convulsing.

He knew his body demanded to be touched. Prapai often penetrated all the way in, pulling almost entirely out before thrusting in again. Sky loved it when P'Pai glided his hips to find his sensitive spot. Loved how P'Pai would repeatedly rub him there until he almost broke, then relentlessly provoke Sky again.

"Not enough."

The more he imagined his lover, the harder Sky bit his lip as he looked at his own sticky hand. But just jerking his cock was not enough. He turned to open the drawer and grabbed the sweet-smelling lubricating gel.

P'Pai also liked this gel. He said that when he licked Sky's hole it smelled good.

"Again, you're thinking of P'Pai," Sky told himself as he squeezed the gel into his palm, rubbed it until it was warm, and turned to crawl on his knees so that he could play with his back side.

But then, as his finger was about to go in-

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The phone that was placed at the head of the bed rang.

Sky could have ignored it, but it was a ringtone he had specifically set for a special person.

"(huff)... (huff) P'Pai..."

Sky didn't care if the gel smudged on the screen because he quickly grabbed the phone and set it to speaker, wanting to hear the big man's voice like crazy. He wasn't embarrassed at all to let out a heavy gasp.

[Sky, what are you doing? Why does your voice sound like that?]

He missed him like crazy.

Slip!

"Uugh!"

As Pai's anxious voice filled his ears, Sky didn't hesitate to slip his long, wet finger into the cramped hole. It was only tight at first because he hadn't done anything to it in days. But once past the knuckle, he pushed it in to the full length, followed by a rumbling groan in his throat as he felt a flash of arousal.

[Sky, what are you doing?]

Prapai's voice was softer, but even more provocative.

Sky was turning red-faced. He imagined P'Pai sitting in his company office, listening to Sky moaning on the phone, afraid others would catch on what his boyfriend was doing. It made Sky push another finger into the hole in the back.

"I was... thinking about you... and (huff)... (huff) fingering myself."

[... ... ...]

P'Pai was silent, but crazy as it was, that only turned Sky on even more.

[Give me three minutes.]

"No, I can't take it anymore... ah..." Although the person at the end of the line let out a frighteningly low growl, Sky refused.

He leaned one hand against the bed, thrusting his hips against the fingers that were inserted into his body. As he moved his hand faster and faster, he gasped heavily and pictured Pai's grim face, jaw clenched with desire, and let out a loud moan.

"I want your cock so bad P'Pai. I want your big cock."

[Damn it!]

Prapai hung up the call, but Sky couldn't stop himself.

Sky threw his upper half onto the bed until his cheeks touched the sheets, resting his knees against the mattress and raising his butt as he managed to reach another inch further into his wet hole.

He felt a little full, but it wasn't close to the sweet, scorching sensation he felt when Pai moved inside of him. Sky was always stretched around him so tightly that he couldn't even think. But it wasn't painful, just a sign to Pai to move quickly so that his huge stick rubbed across Sky's insides until that initial stinging turned to pleasure.

"Ah, ah, P'Pai, I want more, I want more."

Swerp, swerp, swerp.

Sky moved his hand faster, pulled it out, and slammed in again. Why didn't it feel as good as whenever he begged to be fucked by P'Pai?

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The phone rang again until Sky's watery eyes turned to look. He found that his lover was not calling normally, but asking for a video call, which Sky did not even hesitate to answer.

[(huff) ... (huff) Sky, I told you to wait for me.]

The picture on the screen showed a man covered in sweat. The background was of a hotel bedroom. Just as the big hand was pulling apart the elegant tie at his throat, his dark eyebrows furrowed. Pai's eyes narrowed, and Sky could see his throat tighten until his veins bulged.

P'Pai was turned on too.

[Sky, did you know that I got out of the taxi and ran back to the hotel?!]

He didn't know, because his eyes were looking only at that dark, stern face.

"P'Pai.... ugh... I need you, my fingers can't reach... ah!"

He didn't want to talk about how his lover got back to the hotel, because at this moment his mood was all over the place.

He didn't know why at first, but when he saw Pai's sweaty face taking a step towards the phone, Sky imagined Pai was in the room with him. His body twitched. Sky's hips accidentally swayed.

[Where are you touching? Let me see.]

P'Pai tried to calm down. He sat on the foot of the bed, his sharp eyes staring back towards Sky's hole.

That imagining led Sky to squat over the phone screen, knees spread wide, so the camera could capture the cute part with his fingers disappearing inside.

He heard the sound of Pai groaning, followed by the unbuckling of his belt.

[I want to lick my wife's hole so bad.]

"Ugh... P'Pai..."

He felt a flash at his lover's words. Still squatting, Sky pushed his phone even further beneath his body so that Pai could see more clearly the cramped hole that devoured his fingers.

Sky closed his eyes. In his mind, he imagined the soft tongue that flicked around his crack. The sharp teeth biting the white cheeks, leaving a red mark; before the soft tongue pushed deep inside.

[Yes, just like that honey, please show me.]

Normally Sky would refuse, but instead he pried apart two fingers, opening a narrow channel for Pai to see inside his hole.

"Oh it's wide, it's so wide, P'Pai."

[Sky, you have to slowly pull out and smash in hard. Ah, honey, I really want to lick it.]

He did as Pai told him by pulling his fingers almost out, then slamming them in so hard that he could hear the sharp sound of flesh hitting flesh. A tingling sensation shot through his body, striking from head to toe. Sky's upper body once again pressed against the soft bed, revealing more of his naked body for his lover to see.

And this move made him glimpse on the screen, P'Pai himself was pulling out the big cock he wanted so badly.

"Yeah, I... want P'Pai to fuck my mouth, ah!"

He wanted to lick P'Pai, wanted to suck him so hard that the force surprised P'Pai. Wanted P'Pai to grab the back of his head, and push it in until his cock was deep in Sky's throat.

[Good boy Sky... Play with your nipples.]

The one who listened pushed his t-shirt up higher so that his lover could see his chest. He rubbed his gel-stained hands back and forth until his nipples were hard, then circled the base, alternating with gentle pinches.

[So good... ah... If I was there, I would fuck you to death!]

P'Pai stared at the screen hard, and Sky knew that his boyfriend wasn't lying.

The expression on P'Pai's face was that of someone who couldn't control themselves... Probably the same expression Sky wore too.

Fip, fip, fip!

"Yeah, fuck, so good... P'Pai, fuck me. Fuck me hard. I want you to fuck me."

Sky thrust against the bedsheet. One white hand slammed into his hole in the back in an embarrassing and lewd stroke while the other twisted and pinched his nipples. His hips swayed in the air, his mouth groaning his pleasure with all shyness gone.

[I'm fucking you baby (huff)...(huff) hit harder, just like when I fuck you Sky.... yes!]

He loved the sound of P'Pai panting. It was loud, raspy, and heartbreakingly sexy.

As he thought of Pai, the feeling of Pai's cock taking the place of his hand grew stronger. Sky's sensitive front part was soaked with precum and dripping onto the bed. From the corner of his eyes, Sky looked to the screen and saw his lover tugging at himself.

"Oh come on, P'Pai. Harder, ah! It tingles!"

[You want me to fuck you harder than this?]

"Fuck me, P'Pai... harder."

[Damn it, I want to cum in your mouth so bad...]

Sky moved to face the screen, his lips parted, his bright tongue sticking out to accept Pai's cock.

[Go ahead.]

Mmmmhpf!

Sky's beautiful eyes looked at the big palm that moved so fast. He had to match Pai's hand and follow the rhythm with his own as if they were really having sex. Sky's lips opened as if preparing for the cum to shoot in his mouth and across his face, and felt like P'Pai was about to cum on him for real.

"Aaaaaaaa!"

Sky twitched, his hand on the bed clawed at the mattress, his hips arched with pleasure as he slammed in with all his might and came- every drop of which splashed across the phone screen.

Sky collapsed onto the bed. He could still hear Pai's gasping until he picked up the phone and held it in front of his face, slipping his gel stained hand into his mouth.

"P'Pai (huff)... (huff) Let me lick... let me lick..."

Many times, when Pai came in his ass he loved to pull out his cum-streaked cock and place it against Sky's lips while commanding in his deep voice, "Clean me."

And with Sky's words...

[Ughhh, mmm!]

The big man unleashed his desire unti lit burst into a string.

Spurt!

Sky knew it would be much better if the cum went into his mouth.

"(huff)... (huff)... (huff)."

He pictured Pai laying on the bed, gasping for breath. When the growing arousal subsided, a pair of beautiful eyes looked at the lover who was similarly afflicted with lust, until Sky smiled faintly.

"So good, P'Pai..."

[Excellent.]

Prapai replied with a smile, then the big man turned to take a tissue and wipe his hands. An ordinary action that Sky had seen countless times, but it made him miss Pai even more.

If P'Pai was there, he would wipe Sky too.

"P'Pai..."

[What's up? Do you want to continue?]

"I miss you so much."

The person at the other end of the line froze before smiling. The tall man moved to lean on the bed, picking up his phone to meet Sky's eyes.

[I miss you too Sky, like crazy.]

Just a few words made him feel so good that his heart almost exploded.

--- --- ---

They talk about being apart for a while, then--

--- --- ---

[Talk like this when I get back to Thailand.]

The good humored Pai couldn't help but tease. The more he saw Sky blush with embarrasment, the more he wanted to tease, and that made Sky give in.

"Okay. I'll lick the cum off your cock. You'll tease me, and I'll do it. I'll beg you to fuck me until you get bored, but..." Sky smiled, "Come back to me soon."

And that made Prapai wish he could speed up time and get back to Thailand.

[I'll be back soon... but first-]

"?"

[Sky, wipe your screen. Seeing you through that cum stained camera is making me so hard.]

[iamnotoriginalphil]

The Hurt (Kate Stewart x gn!Reader)

Synopsis: You're just a little too in love with your boss.

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: unrequited feelings, like one swear word

AN: I loved how much Kate we got to see in the last season so I figured I'd see if anyone else loves her like I do.

It shouldn’t be so difficult. It shouldn’t. You sat, and you worked, and if you were lucky you got to go out in the field. You were living your dream. Science that made a difference. Science that could one day change the world. Science unlike anything you could imagine when you’d been doing your undergraduate degree all those years ago. 

It shouldn’t hurt. 

And it wouldn’t, if not for her. The woman who turned your dreams into something not quite so sweet. The only one who made your work torture.

Kate Stewart. Your boss. And the only person in the room you couldn’t look away from. 

She was electrifying. So passionate. When she spoke you couldn’t help but listen. You’d follow her into fire with little more than a single look. The perfect leader, a mix of compassionate and hard working and so smart it blew your mind. She lit up the room and made everyone want to work that little bit harder. 

It didn’t hurt that she was beautiful.

Her commanding presence only added to it. She was intriguing, drawing you in, and if she wasn’t so passionate about her work she wouldn’t be nearly so enticing. Just being in her presence was enough to turn your knees to jelly and have your heart beating too fast. 

The hurt was deeply embedded in your identity, you weren’t sure who you would be without it. 

You weren’t anyone important. One of the brains down in the labs, analysing the tech that came in and learning to replicate it. You doubt she even knew your name. But you knew her and it was slowly destroying you from the inside out. 

You kept thinking that maybe if you put in more hours, if you proved your worth, if you had some massive breakthrough, she might learn your name. 

That was until the love of the job pulled you in again. You were, at your heart, a scientist. Alien technology was like showing a child a magic trick. You were determined to figure out how it was done. It was the kind of playground most scientists could only dream about. And you were one of the lucky few that got to be in the sandbox. 

The point was, it was easy to get lost in your work. You didn’t realise how late it had gotten until you looked up and realised you were completely alone in the lab. Stretching your arms above your head, you felt the ache in your spine. You’d been hunched over too long, fiddling with all the tiny bits of a something that had been dropped off to you that morning.

“I see I’m not the only one burning the midnight oil.”

You startled, almost falling off your stool. Grasping the edge of the bench you righted yourself before turning around. Kate, in all her resplendent glory, not even having the decency to look as tired as you were beginning to feel, was making her way towards you. One hand in her trouser pocket and a small smile on her face, you felt like a deer in the headlights under her amused gaze.

“What are you working on?” she asked.

“Oh, uh… I think it’s some kind of energy… convertor… thing,” you replied, “I’m still figuring it out.”

“Did that come in from the York site this morning?” she asked.

“Mmhm,” you hummed, looking back down at it.

You only looked up when you saw her taking a seat across from you. Even now, in a mostly dark lab, she didn’t look half as tired as you felt. Blonde hair still sleek, brown eyes with the twinkle of curiosity, dressed impeccably. It wasn’t fair when you were sure you looked a mess. 

“You’re often here late,” she said, those warm brown eyes landing on you. 

“There’s so much to learn,” you replied with a small shrug, “sometimes it’s hard to drag myself away.”

“Now that’s a sentiment I can understand,” she said with a small chuckle. 

You weren’t really sure what to say. It was so easy to feel tongue tied around her, basking in her commanding aura, the way she wielded her personality like it was nothing, like it wouldn’t fucking wreck you. When she looked at you the way she was now, all soft edges and familiarity and intimacy, it made your head spin. 

But maybe that’s what made her such a good leader. She could talk to the grunts as if they were just as important as the leadership teams. She could make you feel like she was interested in you. Which was dangerous for a number of reasons. 

“Sometimes I miss being in the lab doing the science. Truth is, this place feels more like home than my desk upstairs,” she said into the silence, looking around the darkened space. 

“You could always come back,” you said then immediately felt a wave of embarrassment. Of course she wouldn’t. She had more important things to spend her time on. Like saving the world, mostly. 

“If I had the time, believe me, I would.” The small smile she sent in your direction had your heart fluttering. 

“I can’t imagine ever giving this up,” you said, not sure if you were talking about your work or the moment you were sharing with her. 

“There’s really nothing you think might be more important or worth your time?” The twinkle in her eye was really beginning to make you feel breathless. 

“I like being in the guts of the thing. Other people are better suited for the brain,” you replied with a small shrug. 

Her laugh was throaty, warm, intimate. The kind of thing you’d hear while sharing a drink in a secluded bar. Not like your boss asking you about your work. Not that she really was. But looking at you from under lowered lashes, in the dim light, lit up by the lamp sitting on your desk to highlight the alien tech, the soft look on her face, it was hard to remember she was your boss.

“Although I think you’re the heart of the whole thing,” you murmured. 

Something in her face brightened, gratification softening every line of her body. The way she smiled was enough to make you willing to do anything to see it again. It was dangerous, the way you would give her every part of you to earn that smile. 

“When I was a little girl, I resented UNIT so much. It stole all of my father’s time and attention and he had none left for me. I didn’t realise what he was building. All I knew was that it was more important than me to him,” she said, voice soft as her mind drifted. 

You froze, listening to her, wanting to hear more.

“But when I did see him, the stories he told. Oh, they were wonderful. Stories of aliens and time travel, and a man in a small blue box. I wanted to know more. I craved it. I dreamt about the universe out there and all the things it held. I wanted to know it all.”

You lent forward. 

“It took a while but I got my degree and I joined UNIT. And I got to do science like I’d never seen before. So many species I'd never even imagined, coming here to Earth and I had access to them here. Not in this exact lab. Back then we were more hidden and a few decades behind technologically speaking, but one like it. I spent hours here. Nights. Weekends. You couldn’t drag me out of here. And then I understood why Dad spent all his time here. It’s an addiction.”

You were nodding. Because you got it. This job, the things you saw, the puzzles you got to take apart and put back together again, it was like nothing you’d ever experienced. Just look at what you’d been working on when she’d found you. You wouldn’t get that working at Google or for a pharmaceutical company. This was the kind of stuff science dreams were made of. 

“It’s that moment when it all suddenly makes sense. The fog clears and you understand how something works. All of the long hours and the frustration and the confusion are worth it. And then you know more about this universe and how it works and no one else on the planet has that information. There’s no feeling like it.”

Your breath caught. The way she spoke about it was like she was reaching into your chest and grasping your heart in a tight fist. Twisting your guts. Because that was it. That was exactly it. 

“And that’s not even the parts that make me love science. Unravelling the secrets of the universe is wonderful but it’s not what gets me out of bed in the morning. It’s satiating my own curiosity. It’s understanding the world we live in better. It’s getting the chance to ask questions and find the answers as I give in to my own need to know. It’s looking at something like this…”

One finger tapped the top of your alien device. 

“And knowing just a bit more than the day before.”

Your lips parted as you dragged your gaze back up to her, finding her already watching you. She was leaning towards you, over the bench and you realised how close your faces had grown. You blinked, ready to draw back, put more space between you.

“My father always said ‘science leads’. A quote from the Doctor. But it’s the work being done in this lab and others like it that make my job possible. This work guides the decisions I make for this organisation. And through it I can continue my father’s legacy and build something he would be proud of,” she said, her fingers still on the unknown device on the bench. And still looking at you. 

“I think he’d be very proud of you,” you said.

“Thank you.” Her hand drew back, putting her back on her side of the bench, “I know what I do is important, but I still miss this.”

“Do you want to help with this? Might scratch that itch,” you offered.

When she settled beside you, on your side of the bench, you felt your heart flutter. Shoulder to shoulder, you bent towards the wiring and the metal, her hair brushing against your skin. It was strange, the conflict you felt inside, sitting there with her in the small circle of light. 

On the one hand, she was so confident in the work, almost as if she was able to read your mind. She could predict what you were thinking and what you were going to do with ease. On the other, she was close enough you could smell the perfume that clung to her skin, and the warmth of her body washing over you. It was a very specific kind of torture and one you would willingly submit to every night for just one more moment like this. 

“Your work on that laser bomb was brilliant,” she murmured, “and that report you wrote on the blue tree was beautiful.”

You startled, dropping the tiny screwdriver you’d been holding. Her warm chuckle against your ear was enough to have your heart fluttering without pause. 

“I didn’t think you knew who I was,” you admitted, picking it up again, trying not to let her see the shockwaves of her laughter still moving through your body. 

“You’re one of my best,” she said, so unaware how that one little word made your heart skip a beat. My. A claiming you hadn’t known you’d wanted. Even more than the compliment. 

You turned your head, finding her so close. You were practically sharing the same air. Noses close to brushing. You froze, not sure what to do when she was so close. Her lips quirked up in a small smile and your gaze darted down to them then back up, embarrassment curling in your stomach. But you were only human. And she was so very tempting. 

“Of course I know you,” she whispered.

The moment hung between you, strung out until it was taut. Any moment it would break, time speeding up once more to compensate for the stolen time between heartbeats. But for now, you could marvel at the way she was looking at you, like you’d split open right down the middle, baring your soul to her. Those eyes, never missing a detail, looked at you as if she could see you. Really see you. Right down into all the crevices no one ever bothered looking at. You were splayed open for her to see. 

The way her eyes burned, you thought she might like whatever it was she could see. 

One of the night guards rounded the corner of the hall, whistling loud in the night’s silence. Your breath stuttered in your chest and she lent away from you, disappointment swimming in dark eyes. 

“It’s late,” she said.

“It is,” you agreed, not able to say anything else.

“You should return home, get some sleep,” she said.

“Is that what you’re going to do?” you asked, surprised by the need to know, to be able to picture her once she was no longer standing in front of you.

“I hope so,” she said, that same small smile back on her face.

“Goodnight,” you said with a small nod.

“Goodnight,” she said, her hand coming to rest on your shoulder, “sweet dreams.”

Her hand squeezed, lingering a moment longer, sending heat licking over your skin. She turned, a hand in her trouser pocket, and you watched her walk away from you. The shadows swallowed her, heels echoing down empty hallways as she left you with your work.

The hope that had welled in your chest remained, slow to drain. You could still smell her perfume on the air, feel the warmth of her body, hear her chuckle soft in your ear, more vibration than sound. 

And maybe that was the truth of it. That hope, when it came to Kate Stewart, hurt worst of all.

[stealanity]

[ sohn eric ] ꕤ birthday present(s)

word count : 1,033 genre : best friend to lovers, very cheesy

« happy birthday. » he said playfully, a rainbow of good cheer in the timbre of his voice. you watched him tenderly, your eyes sparkling in the sunlight streaming through the large windows of your now completely deserted school corridor. eric reached into his pocket and flicked his tongue lightly, trapping it between lips glistening with lip balm. after a good five seconds of concentration, a medallion appeared in front of your face : squinting at the pendant hanging from the end of the chain, it suddenly seemed strangely familiar. opening your eyes wide as you realized what it was all about, you turned your gaze to your best friend's neck, noting that it was now bare of all jewels.

opening your mouth to speak, you were cut off by the devastating smile hanging over his mouth. you have to admit that your mind is currently occupied with a single thought : see by yourself if his lip balm actually tastes of passion fruit. but you looked away again, your eyes gazing into the beauty of his for a few seconds, and you had to fight with all your might not to melt like ice in the sun. « may i..? » he asked you, so sweetly that your heart flustered, his eyes juggling between yours and your neck. stretching your lips into a shy smile, you nodded slightly, holding your hair up so as not to interfere with his actions.

eric leaned gently towards you, his hands grazing the sensitive skin of your neck. his face was so close, you could feel his warm breath caressed the hollow of your neck as he tried to hook the jewel around it, in a precise and delicate manner so as not to risk pinching you with the clasp. under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have had any trouble hanging the collar ( he could do it around his neck with his eyes closed and mind half asleep ) but he couldn't help it with you : you were distracting him. your breath crashing against his ear, the smell of your shampoo tickling his nose, your bare shoulder so close to his lips. he was so fond of you, he couldn't help but find every little detail baffling. after a few seconds, when he finally succeeded, he moved away from you again, admiring his work with victorious eyes.

you looked so beautiful in the late afternoon sun. eric couldn't help but admire you : your always sincere gaze and the twinkle in your eyes drove him crazy. but the one thing he didn't allow himself to think about was your lips. those who always looked so, so kissable. in all honesty, he longed to kiss you, to call you his, to hold your hand proudly, in a way that's different from that of simple best friends. eric had been thinking about you day and night for years now, the young man no longer doubted his more than friendly feelings towards you — but confessing them to you was a lot harder than he thought.

diverting your eyes from his, you brought your fingers to the jewel, fiddling with it as if it were the most precious jewel on earth — was what it really meant to you. stretching your lips into a radiant smile, you gazed at it for a long moment before speaking, « thank you eric, i'll cherish it to the end of the world. »

eric couldn't stop his heart from missing a beat, his puppy dog eyes can't look away from your flawless face. he didn't know what was happening to him, but he knew he had no control over what he did next : in the madness of the moment, with a surge of adrenalin coursing through his muscles, a step forward and the taste of his lip balm spread to yours. on the spot, surprise took over your body, your eyes becoming as round as marbles, and your arms flailing along your chest, not knowing how to react. but the warmth of his lips, similar to that of a summer sun, helped your body relax — and in less time than it takes to say it, your hands found themselves clutching his cheeks, holding his face close to yours.

it was warm, soft, a little clumsy : just as you'd imagined. the sensations were just like in the books : the tingling in the fingertips, the fluttering in the stomach, and the heart racing like never before. who would have thought that a single person could cause so much trouble with a simple kiss? you were so lucky that he was a good kisser — and this simple thought made you smile against his lips, causing the principal concerned to unhook himself from you slowly, his eyes planting themselves in yours directly afterwards. under a rambling gaze, you could see a slight pinkish tinge embrace the apple of his cheek, betraying the shyness that took hold of his features.

« you should lend me your lip balm. » you suggested, a crystalline laugh escaping from eric's mouth just afterwards. the pretty boy nodded, his hands taking hold of your hips to move you slightly, pinning you between the wall behind you and his own warm body. « i could put it on you myself. » he replied, a little too sure of himself for you, his words underscored by a wry smile that brought a pleasant warmth to your belly. raising an eyebrow, you tilt your face slightly to the side, your pupils juggling from his eyes to his lips in the blink of an eye, « ah yea? » you had time to say, your words suddenly cut off by a pair of lips mingling with yours once again. so, so warm, you thought, your arms reaching around his neck a few seconds later to prevent him from escaping.

you don't remember how long you kissed before being chased away by a teacher, but you knew for sure, in your mad rush, under the radiant sun of this beautiful day, his hand clinging firmly to yours, and his bright laughter lulling your mind, eric's love was the best birthday present ever.

[ms-fade]

We all have needs.

Anthony lockwood x Fem!reader +18 drabble.

Disclaimer: The “Readmore” sign has been causing glitches with my fics so I apologize if it happens again.

Warnings; Anthony being a little shit, smut, dirty talk, smut book talk, chocking, dominance, him trying to embarrass you and of course, you being embarrassed. And spelling mistakes.

You felt so embarrassed that your body was on fire, your cheeks puffed out and your eyes glaring at the man in front of you. You had been chasing him all over the house and now you two stood in the kitchen, him on one side and you on the other. Each time you threaten to move so did he, and you two have been running in circles for too long already.

“She dripped onto their shared sheets, her thighs burning with passion and desire-” You rolled your eyes as he spoke the words to the book in his hands. It was your book, one that you thought you could read in peace but Anthony had other plans. He stood with a proud smirk and his face was too cocky, he was having the time of his life embarrassing you.

“Anthony, stop.” Slamming your hands onto the table separating you. He looked up at your harsh tone and raised a brow. “Why? It’s getting good. Here, listen.” He laughed and looked back to the page.

“His wet muscle dragged through her folds, she was already so wet for him and dripping with aroused. The moan she left out when he finally got-” you had enough of his teasing and decided to try and take him down or get to him fast. You hopped onto the table and didn’t care of it would hold you, you just had to get to him.

He looked at you and stepped back to get away from you. “Y/n!” He laughed as you got closer to him. “Give it back.” You demanded while walking closer, he didn’t have much room until he backed all the way to the counter.

“Give it back.”

You shouted again and went to grab the book but before you could make it to the book his hand caught your wrist. Anthony tugged you forwarded and moved out the way so you were the one to hit the counter. His grip on your wrist left but was replaced by his body weight onto your back pressing you to the counter.

He was against you. He was pinning you so you had no way to escape, his arm was now around your stomach and bringing you closer but also to hold you still. You felt weak as you realized what was happening, how close he was- How close his mouth was to your neck. His hot breath hit your hot skin, but even though you couldn’t see him you knew he had a smirk on his face.

“I wasn’t finished.” He whispered closely. “Don’t be embarrassed, y/n. It’s just a smutty novel, I mean we all have needs don’t we? I know i do.” He chuckled. The grip he had on you tightened and he pressed you harder into him. “Anthony-” He shh’d you. He kissed your ear and his teeth nibbling the area softly, you let out a soft gasped.

“And, I know you do, y/n. When you think we all leave, or it’s late at night when everyone should be sleeping. I hear your pretty little gasps, just like the one you just did. I can only picture you rubbing your clit to get some release, each moan or pray to the god above.” Fuck- He heard you. Of course he did, just for him to make fun of you and use it against you.

“But what you don’t know is I like to stroke my cock to your moans, I imagine how you would feel around me.” He started to kiss down your ear and onto your neck and then to your shoulders. Your brain froze at his words, he did that- He wanted you back, he thought of you while he pleasured himself.

“And why didn’t you tell me- Lockwood.” Trying to ask him a question he had to shut you up with bitting into your collarbone. You moaned his name and closes your eyes, trying to back up into him for anything.

You were so needy.

“You want me to fuck you now? Like how he does her in your book, probably so rough and sensual. Tell me that you want my cock.” You jumped as he slammed the book on the floor. Squealing in surprised as he turned you over to face him, his hand quietly wrapping around the lower part of your neck.

He wasn’t chocking you but having ahold on you, just to hold you in a more dominant way. But he did make you look up at him and into his eyes, he wanted you to beg. To beg for him. And you wanted him so bad, everything was aching for him now within you.

“Please,” you whined out and tried to get out the words, “Fuck me.” There it was, the words he needed to here.

“Then I will, darling. I’ll make you scream only for me, and make you see how useless books are when you have real cock pleasing you from the inside.” That’s when his hand closes around your throat and brought you forward to meet his lips with a kiss.

Thank god you decide to read that book in the open.

[readerssmut]

"𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐦." ~ Boss Milo Manheim x reader Pt.2

Song Inspired- Boyfriend (By Dove Cameron)

Tags/Warnings-18+ only, Minors DNI, consensual, romance, dominant (Milo), cheating, smut, fluff, light bondage, rough sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (m & f receiving). Reader is an Office Siren. Grammar police can respectfully f off (:

Summary- Y/N has a shitty boyfriend and one night at an office party drunkenly confides in her hot boss. Pt 3 here

Before he could speak, she said stuttering "I'm sorry I'm like this I've been stressed lately. My boyfriend he-he cheated on me not too long ago. I thought I could move past it and forget but its only made me resent him. He told me would do better, try harder but there's been no change. I feel like we are going in circles, and I feel trapped. I have no way of dealing with it, no one to talk to about it. Now I'm rambling like an idiot to my bos...." He cut her off "Y/n I'm sorry this is happening you deserve better. I could treat you better. I could be a better boyfriend than him." This hit y/n like a brick of course she had imagined this scenario hundreds of times all in different ways, but it still shocked her. If she didn't feel sober before she sure did now. It felt like those words soaked up all the booze in her. "Mr.M.." she began, he once again stopped her "call me Milo." "Milo-" she stuttered "Isn't there rules against us being together?" He moved closer her to her until he was standing over her. "Y/n I don't care about rules, and I've seen the way you look at me. The way you bite your lip or clench your thighs when we are alone in a room. I don't think you care about rules." She thought for only a moment before grabbing his tie and pulling him down to her level. Pausing for only a moment he took this opportunity to kiss her passionately. Her fingers interlocking with his loose curls. Their tongues danced together, making strings of saliva disconnect and reconnect. She tasted the bourbon on his tongue making her want more. He stopped and stood up, looking down at her he said "y/n I've seen the books you read, and I know that boyfriend of yours doesn't satisfy you. So, you're going to do as I say and I'm going to make sure you come over and over again. Understand?" Y/n looked up at Milo with lust in her eyes, all those wet dreams of him flooded her mind. He spoke to her in the most perfect way. He hadn't even touched her, but she was practically dripping at his words. All he had to was give her a look and she knew exactly what to do but she waited for his command. He told her to remove his belt and pants slowly. Y/n did as she was told sinking to her knees beneath him. The bulge teased her she could see the outline through his boxers. Frustration built up inside her, all she could think about was having him rail her from behind. He pulled down his boxers and his dick sprung out, she immediately grabbed it, devouring it. She was a drooling mess, but she didn't care. He smelled clean and tasted fresh, unlike her boyfriend. She slobbered all up and down his shaft. He groaned and pushed her head down gently stopping every few bobs so she could breathe. Her hands worked at his dick and her mouth so warm and wet took him so well. He grunted breathy "you're so good, fuck, fuck." She could feel his dick start to twitch in her mouth but there was nothing more in this moment she wanted than to swallow his load. He came hard with a loud groan pulling her hair back gently but just enough to be able to see her pretty face and mouth being covered in his cum. He couldn't pretend he hadn't imagined this tons of times. He wanted so desperately to make her feel good. Not even getting a chance to catch her breath y/n was picked up and put onto his desk her feet hanging off. He tore her skirt and panties off. He kissed up and down her thighs leaving small purple marks. That was him claiming her and she loved every second of it. He started slow licking up and down her folds. The sensation sending chills up through her spine. His face was covered in juices in no time. He sucked on her clit alternating with his tongue doing circular motions. He inserted two fingers in her building the tension in her body. She was moaning like crazy almost forgetting where they were. She quickly covered her mouth muffling her sounds. He smiled against her pussy knowing she was close to finishing. Her thighs suffocated him, but he was determined to make her feel incredible. "Mhm darling you taste so sweet."

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

There is no rush

Note: It's been a while since I wrote something for our husband, so have some smut lol. Also, to be honest, the interactions on this blog have been kinda low lately, and I'm a little unmotivated to write. Maybe I'm shadowbanned, so it would mean a lot to me if you would reblog and comment. Thank you! 💖

Pair: Albert Wesker x F!Reader;

Plot: the reader is sitting on Albert’s lap and things get steamy 👀.

Word count: 605;

Ko-fi || Patreon

Imagine you’re on top of Wesker, head buried in the crook of his neck, and your lips travel every inch of his skin, either biting or kissing depending on your desire. He leans his head back to give you more access, and he will occasionally whimper or tell you what a fantastic job you’re doing.

His hands would rest on your hips with a tight grip, encouraging you to rub against his growing erection. He’s getting harder with every roll of your hips, and the feeling makes your knees weak. You want him so bad that your mouth is no longer coordinating the kisses and biting. Instead, you give him sloppy little kisses as you’re a little busy moaning and telling him how much you want him inside you.

"Please, Albert, I need you…"you whispered.

"I know, my love, I need you too…" his soft voice gave you comfort, so you let yourself be in his care.

His hand gently slid under your body and then into his sweatpants. Seconds later, he pulled out his hard cock, which he positioned at your entrance. You moved your panties to the side and lowered yourself over it, a satisfied moan escaping your lips.

"Just like that…" he said as you started to move up and down, feeling as his shaft stretched your tight hole. It was a pleasant feeling nonetheless, and once you managed to take all of him, you began to bounce a little faster.

It didn’t take long until both of your bodies were synchronized in perfect rhythm. Wesker had a tight grip on your hips as he pounded inside you at high speed. Your hands were resting on his shoulders, nails digging into his flesh. He didn’t mind, tho, he liked when you were a little rough with him.

Your lips were glued to one another in a messy, passionate kiss. Both of you were breathing hard and covered in sweat, but still, none of you wanted to change positions. It just felt so goddamn good.

And the release was just as expected. His grip tightened so hard on your hips that the skin turned red underneath his fingers, and with a final deep thrust, he came inside you, coating your interior in his thick, hot fluid. You clenched around him as you came, milking him of every single drop. After that, you collapsed on him, and he hugged you tightly. One of his arms began to caress your back while the other massaged your neck, and he kept whispering sweet words into your ear.

"I love you." He said, making your heart throb with joy.

"I love you too, Albert." You pressed your lips over his in a quick kiss, and then you buried your head back in the crook of his neck. You could stay like that forever, smelling his scent and having his shaft inside you. Judging by how tightly he held you, he felt the same way.

None of you wanted to split, and somehow you felt a warm sensation in your lower belly. You shyly started to move your hips and smiled when you felt Wesker getting hard again.

"You want to go again?" He asked with a smug face, biting your earlobe.

"Hmm," an affirmative hum escaped your lips, which made Wesker flip you on your back. And so he started to thrust inside you again, very slowly, while looking at your beautiful face. You cupped his cheeks and stared back at those beautiful blue eyes of his.

You both started slow and increased the pace gradually. It was alright, none of you were rushing.

Tag list: @shadow-wolf510 @skylar-todd @alewesker @rokurodokuro (if you want to be added dm me)💖

Also, check out my previous smut (part of kinky prompts series) with Leon x Reader x Luis 👀

[atthebell]

practical advice about college you say?

[the weird spaces between some paragraphs are because i hit the character limit on content blocks which i didnt really know existed until now, fascinating!]

Don't buy too much shit. There will be a lot of things that people tell you are useful— buy things that seem like necessities, then figure out what you need from there. My grandma tried to buy me all kinds of crap and some of it was utterly useless, whereas other random stuff was super helpful (like towels, you should own at LEAST two towels, more if you reallyyyyy don’t want to do laundry).

Decor and things to make your dorm room (if applicable, also relevant for apartments etc.) feel more lived in are excluded from the above; if you want to have a million pieces of art on your walls, absolutely go for it. In fact, other people will think you're cool and want to hang out with you, I'm not even joking. Maybe invest in a bean bag, those are also a good seating thing for small rooms. I had a regular bean bag and then a giant one and it was a great way to have fun seating in my room (I hosted a lot of hangouts/let people just chill in my room a lot, so your personal mileage may vary).

Go find free food. There is more free food than you could even imagine on college campuses, go find it and don't be afraid to bundle some up in a napkin or some Tupperware and take it home. This is genuinely grad student 101 (grad students often don't have meal plans like undergrads) but is very relevant to all elements of college. I was notorious amongst friends and acquaintances for going to all kinds of events and bringing food home, and it was awesome. I could swipe some bagels from a student org social and the next morning I wouldn't have to worry about waking up early enough to grab breakfast from the dining hall or, heaven forbid, cooking.

Along similar lines, keep a decent amount of snacks/food in your room. Do you love trader Joe's chocolate covered almonds? Goldfish? Wasabi peas? Keep a stash in your room at all times. Future you will thank past you, especially when you're feeling down or studying or both. If you have a mini fridge or anything like that, keep a few cold things in there, like Gatorade or energy drinks for late nights or even cream cheese for the previously mentioned free bagels.

Join some student orgs! I assure you that while I have always been an over involved maniac of a human being, I am not anything even close to a social butterfly. You don't have to be, but having a few connections, especially with people in similar circumstances to you (first in your family to go to college, low income, women in stem, queer, latine, whatever your background and/or situation may be). You might not meet people you click perfectly with, but you'll at least be able to connect with people who get your experiences on some level. I truly do not know what I would've done without my college’s first gen/low income program or the Jewish community I found going to various events.

Professors are way more chill than you think. I say this as someone who asked for extensions every single semester/quarter of university i was in and again went to several incredibly prestigious colleges. Many professors are way less hardass than you may think, and some are the kind of people who will invite you over for shabbes dinner and become incredibly important mentor figures for you. The latter are harder to find, but there are plenty of extremely cool professors and TFs and lecturers who are always down to talk about course content or any number of topics. Everyone always says this but go to office hours! It really helps and it's just a great way to connect better with people passionate about the same things you are.

Grades are stupid and bad. This is not specific to college; the focus on grades in all levels of education is ridiculous and counterproductive to learning. This is important for you to know and remember, even when grades DO matter; for transcripts, for grad school, for getting jobs and scholarships and other opportunities. Trust me, I understand that grades matter, but I want you to know that they shouldn't, and you aren't stupid or worthless if you struggle with academics, or if you feel like your grades don't reflect your effort. Grades are a way to standardize (retch) measurement of learning, but they don't show the full or accurate picture. You are so much more than your grades or where or what you're studying.

Take fun classes! I know a lot of STEM majors make it incredibly difficult to dip out of course tracks, but if you can, try to take some fun and diverse classes. Take a gender studies class, take a theater class, learn photography, take a wacky science class, take a language course (this one I want to specifically highlight!!!! learn a new language while you're in a setting that's way easier (for many people) to learn one in!), find a beloved professor from another field and dip your toes in. I took all kinds of wild classes (religious studies is not a major where they fill up your schedule with required classes, at least not at my university) and had a blast, and it's good to have some familiarity with different fields and possibly how they connect with your own. Also it's just fun! You can meet new people and learn a lot from studying something you haven't before.

Be very nice to your custodial staff but know that they are probably deeply underpaid and understaffed. And get to know your housing staff too so you know more about who to call in certain situations. Also get a tool set so you can fix minor stuff yourself.

Don't be afraid to party, but also don't feel pressured. I spent most of my college years in a group of friends who played board games every week instead of drinking, and I personally did not drink until I was 21 for various personal reasons. If people make fun of you, don't hang out with those people. If they pressure you, stay the fuck away. If people are judgy about your drinking/partying/hookup choices? They can go fuck themselves. Find people who respect your decisions, either way, no matter what they are, and anyone else can fuck off.

I didn't really date or hook up in college but I did get hit on by a lot of beautiful bisexual women. If a very hot girl that you want to hang out with in a sexual or romantic context asks you to teach her to play pool, just say yes. Do not shoot yourself in the foot. If someone sets you up on a date with a friend of theirs and you guys vibe better as friends, never let this person go. I'm joking but that's how I met my best friend who I adore perhaps more than anyone else in this world so you never know what the universe will hand you.

Get more sleep. Whatever amount of sleep you're getting, try to sleep more. Sometimes homework or frat parties or boyfriends matter a lot less than just getting a few more hours of sleep, and you will retain information better and feel less like shit. Please get more sleep and maybe drink less caffeine.

Befriend some grad students! I'm completely unbiased (<3) but grad students have a lot of insight about college and life as a young adult, and they're often very cool. They might invite you over to smoke weed and talk about Kant— I cannot stress enough that you never have to do something you don't want, but say yes to this if it's at all appealing. Definitely not another personal anecdote.

Connect with your first gen/low income and/or financial aid office(s). They will have incredibly helpful info, including about getting jobs or scholarships or even just the experience of being low income at college. Also, if you're attending a California Community College, apply for the CCPG (previously known as the BOGW)! It waives all enrollment and tuition fees if you meet eligibility and qualification requirements. I would add more resources but I am a Californian so that's what I have at the moment.

Kind of related, if you're leaving university right now with student loans and you're low income, apply for the SAVE plan to make smaller (or no) payments and less (or no) interest. It's been saving my ass for a while now and it could be helpful for you.

Drink more water. If you need it cold, get a brita pitcher thing and put it in your minifridge if you have one. If not, ice from the dining hall + a decently insulated water bottle. You should be drinking on average 8oz every two hours, or every one hour when it's really hot.

Have a craft or a hobby or a video game or a show or a book or a movie or something that you can do like. At least once a week as Chill Time. Personally I would have some Chill Time at least once a day, but if you are busy to the max, Chill Time once a week is mandatory. Doesn’t have to be the same time every time, but if it is, clear your schedule. That is the only thing happening then. No one gets to interrupt Chill Time. Not to be confused with hanging out with friends, which is still a good activity you should do many times a week. This is Chill Alone Time, where you just sit with yourself and do something you like to do alone. Get a coloring book, learn how to cross stitch, read a book on native birds, whatever suits your fancy.

If you are anything like the hot mess express that I was, you will go to class in pajamas/sweats. This is fine. There are probably some people out there who care about this, but you should ignore them. Similarly, if you, for instance, wake up at 1pm for your 1:30pm class, feel only the amount of shame necessary to make you able to be on time to class (if the prof cares) and nothing more. I stayed up til 4:30am every single night my freshman year of college it is a miracle I was ever awake during the day and the fact that I managed to do my coursework and still have a social life continues to be a mystery to me today. Anyway, your fashion choices in college but especially your first year should never be judged to any significant standard. If you’re wearing clothes at all, that’s commendable.

If you’re on a biking campus, wear a helmet. This is not optional, wear a fucking helmet. Also for the love of fuck have a bike light and use it at night you do not want to be smushed by a car at 3am biking back from wherever you’ve been.

If you do not know how to do laundry, ask someone. Please do not just go into the laundry room with full confidence and dump 16 loads worth of detergent into a washing machine and fuck it up for everyone. Also not a single dorm dryer will ever work correctly. Know this, and invest in a drying rack or be content to fry the shit out of your clothes at 90 minutes of high heat.

Communicate with your roommate(s). You do not have to be friends, you don’t even have to like each other, but you should be on the same page about stuff. Especially re: sexiling, taking the trash out, volume levels, friends over, etc. etc. You don’t want to get to the end of the year and then realize your roommate fucking hates you because you never asked if she was cool with whatever thing you’ve been doing that’s been annoying her.

This is just general young adult life advice but: You will fuck up. Like, probably more than you think. But you will be okay, and you should know that everyone does that. You’re learning how to do stuff on your own, you’re possibly leaving a bad situation or even a great situation into something you don’t know enough about to possibly be prepared. It’s hard! It’s going to be hard for a bit! But you are not the only person who’s done this, and there are a lot of people out there you can talk to and find support from. The worst thing you could possibly do is isolate yourself, so please don’t do that. Find some good people, eat some good food, and for the love of fuck get more sleep.

[ro-writesstuff]

Ummmmm well, maybe this time will be angst. Y/n can't take any more of the hate that Ollie's fans give her. They always say that Y/n is jinxing Ollie bcs he has been getting bad race results lately. There was even someone who said it directly in front of her face when she came to watch Ollie's race at Monza and Ollie also accidentally heard it and maybe started to get a little angry and protective bcs Y/n doesn't deserve any kind of hatred at all.

Then she finally decided to ask Ollie to break up bcs she started to believe that she is bringing bad luck to Ollie and she doesn't want that to happen to him as she knows how passionate Ollie about racing. But of course that's impossible to happen.

Ollie had already fallen too deep for Y/n. Y/n was his childhood friend who knew almost everything about him, she's so lowkey which makes him love her even more, the one who cheered him since he went karting, the one who always understood him, who always believed in him no matter what. She was everything to Ollie and mean more than racing or championship.

Maybe you can make him a little desperate (Idk why but I'd like to see him crying😭dramatic ass) when Y/n asks him for a break up like he was probably once having a thought about how his life without racing but never imagined his life without Y/n. And maybe he's lil furious that Y/n believed in those nonsenses and even now thinking of leaving him. And the rest are yours, Queen🧚🏼‍♀️

Some proooompts:

— "I just don't love you anymore."

"What?" .... "Look me in the eyes and say you don't love me anymore."

— "You need to focus on racing, not me."

— "I need you more than a fucking championship! I will call Rene right now and tell him that I quit."

— "You don't understand, you are performing less because of m-"

"No. You are the one who don't understand. Don't you dare to say you are the cause of my bad performances."

Ollie Bearman- Choices

a/n: OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS PROMPT  ANON!!!!! I made ollie such a simp for y/n oh my lord… anyway this is somewhat of a continuation of this post… also i kinda got lazy at the end my bad 

pairing: oliver bearman x childhoodfriend!reader

summary: you and ollie have a talk about your relationship that leads your relationship downhill. 

warnings: cursing, tears, stressed y/n and stressed ollie 

word count: 1,781

not my gif!

~

“Hey, can we talk?” You both knew you needed to have this conversation, but both of you avoided it like the plague. 

When you accidentally went public with Ollie, everyone liked you. They thought you were a little on the quiet side but still sweet, and thought you and Ollie were a good match. You appeared in some of Ollie’s streams, adding funny commentary here and there and just hanging out with him. For the past year or so though, you’ve been getting more hateful comments and people have been ruder towards you.

You were never one to back down and stop what you were doing because someone was hating on you. You weren’t raised that way. If you were passionate about something, you did it all the way, not letting anything stop you. This time though, it was getting harder to ignore the bad stuff. People were constantly finding things to nitpick you for, saying how you “loved” Ollie and how you were just in it for the exposure and benefits, which was absolutely not the case. Though you expected interviewers asking about your private life, you never thought it would be this intrusive. Ollie had noticed the more hateful comments were getting to you and even put out a statement, but nothing worked. He’d been too busy racing and traveling to alleviate some of the anxiety you were feeling, so you thought this to be the best option:

Ending your relationship. 

“Um, sure.” He said, hesitantly. The outcome of this conversation was not one he’d like. He couldn’t risk losing you. You were the one person that truly understood everything he did. He truly fell harder for you than you could ever possibly fathom, and even he himself couldn’t explain into words how special you were to him. 

“I think we need to take a break.” The words came out slow and shaky, fear crawling its way through your words. 

“W- what?”

“I just, I- I don’t have feelings for you anymore.” You cringed to yourself. You were completely lying to his face. And he could see it. 

“Bullshit. Is this about what that article said the other day? I swear to God, I’ll find whoever wrote it and-”

“Ollie, stop.” Your voice was stern, scaring him a little bit. 

It was about the article, but you didn’t want to cause any drama or bad press around him, having the media calling him a hothead and other terrible names they could come up with. So you opted to tell him that you didn’t love him anymore. That you “lost feelings” when you felt the complete opposite. You wanted nothing less than waking up next to him and his unruly hair, softly waking him up as you combed through his curls.

Which was exactly how Ollie was feeling, too. He never understood how much your daily checkups and silent support really meant to him, you asking him if he was alright when he was at his darkest, and being there for him during the height of his career. You were always there, a constant in his ever changing life. 

“Don’t make this harder than it already is. Please. I just don’t love you anymore.” You fidgeted with your hands as you went to find your phone. You wanted this conversation to be cut and dry, but it wouldn’t turn out that way. He rushed in front of you and lifted your chin with his finger. You kept your gaze anywhere else but him. 

“Look me in the eyes and say that again.”

The room was quiet, so tense that you could hear both of your shallow breaths. His eyes never left yours as you contemplated your answer. 

“Ollie, your fans hate me. So does your team. It seems like you’re the only one that doesn’t.” You remembered one conversation where some woman came up to you and told it to your face.

“Hi. You’re Y/N, Ollie’s girlfriend, right?” Some lady asked when you were watching a few drivers qualify on the TV screens in Ollie’s garage. “I am, yeah.” “Let’s hope you leave before he starts qualifying.” She laughed lightly.  “Excuse me?” “You’ve seen his quali position versus his starting one when you’re here, right? Oliver’s place always goes down a few positions.” “Oh, well I don’t-”  “I think then I’m the problem, ma’am. My girlfriend’s not the one driving the car.” Ollie came up from behind you, putting his arm around you.  “Oh well. My apologies, then. Have a good one, Ollie.” The woman turned around and walked away. “The hell was that about?” “Dunno. She just came up to me and started talking.” “If someone else says something like that to you, tell me and I’ll-” “Ollie. Just focus on racing right now, okay?”

He threw his hands in the air. “Love, what are you-”

“Think about it. Ever since we got together, you’ve had bad race results. Your car’s been breaking down more often. For fuck’s sake, you almost died, Ollie! When we were just friends that never happened! And now,” You took a breath. “I’m just a distraction, okay? I-”

“How dare you fucking say that. You are not the cause of my bad performances, Y/N! I am!” 

Tears started to form in his eyes. How could you say that about yourself? How could you ever think that? Not for a second did he think you were a distraction. All you ever did for him was make sure he was at his best. Sure, he was getting bad results recently, but you certainly weren’t the cause of it. Hell, you were keeping him focused on not crashing if anything.

“You need to focus on your championship and I need to focus on school.” You shoved past him, grabbing your keys from the counter. 

“That’s what you’re worried about? A fucking championship, Y/N?!” 

“Ollie, that’s your dream! You’ve wanted that since you were a kid! Why are you letting me get in the way of it?” 

“I need you more than I want that stupid championship.”

Shaky breaths erupted from both of you. You knew he was right. He had told you that his priorities had changed. Then it hit you. Was that the reason he was performing so badly at races? Was he racing badly so he’d lose his contract and he’d finally be able to spend time with you? 

After a few minutes you decided to leave. There was no way in hell that you were going to be the reason he lost his contract. Walking towards the door, you mentally checked if you had everything to stay the night elsewhere. 

Ollie caught onto you, following after you. “No. No. Don’t leave. Please.” He grabbed onto your wrist, his eyes pleading you to stay. You’d never left after a fight, always wanting to work it out before you guys went to do something else. This time though, you felt like you had to.

“Just trust me, okay? I’ll be back.” Honestly, you weren’t sure if you were going to. You turned around, reaching for the doorknob, but Ollie was quick enough to slide in front of it.

“I will… I will call Rene right now and tell him that I quit, okay?” He pulled out his phone, hands shaking, and started to search for Rene’s number. “Just don’t…please stay.” Desperation was clear in his voice. As he found it, you scooted past him and slipped out the front door, speed-walking to your car. 

“Baby, no. Please. Where are you going?” You heard him shout as you got into your car. You had left and he was unsure, for the first time, that you might not come back.

~

4 missed calls from ollie 🐻 💗

2 voicemails from ollie🐻 💗

Hi Y/N. Look, I need to… Just, just please call me back please. I want to work this out, okay? I love you. 

Babe, please call me back. I’m getting worried. Just let me know you’re okay. Please. I love you. 

You shut off your phone and sighed, laying back down on the bed, groaning. 

“Still haven’t told him where you are?” Arthur’s voice made you jump, reminding you that you weren’t alone. 

You shook your head. “No.” Arthur laid down next to you on your -his- bed. You had crashed at his house for the night, telling him what happened through broken sobs and tears.

“I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but I think you should tell Ollie where you are. Or just text him. The guy’s been worried sick, Y/N. He can’t sleep, eat. Even Jak can’t get him out of bed,” Arthur said.

Fuck, you thought. 

~

You unlocked you and Ollie’s door for the first time in what felt like months. As you shut the door close, your eyes met Ollie’s brown ones. He was standing a few feet away from the door, his eyes wide open as he tried to figure out if you were actually standing in front of him. Tension in the room was off the charts. 

Arthur was right, he looked terrible. Nothing in the apartment had changed since you left, with the exception of a few blankets strewn around the floor. Ollie rushed towards you, dropping whatever he was holding, it clattering to the floor as his arms snaked around your waist tightly. He was afraid if he let go of you a second time, you wouldn’t come back for certain. You felt his entire body relax against yours, as yours did the same. He burrowed his head into your neck, softly placing kisses on your skin. 

“You came back.” His voice was deep and relieved. 

“Momentarily.”

“What?”

“I’m gonna move out, Ollie.”

“What? No, you- you can’t.”

You got out of his grasp and hurried towards your room, and started to pack your things through your blurred vision. 

“What’re you doing? Just stop.” He started to unpack the things you started to.

“This isn’t your decision to make, Ollie. Okay?!” 

The room went quiet, the silence so deafening you swore you were alone. You pinched the bridge of your nose; you knew he didn’t deserve this. He was the one you always saw yourself with in the end. What happened? 

Ollie walked over to you; he towered over you like he always did. “You’re really going then?” 

You nodded. “I’ll have Arthur pick up the rest of my stuff.” You scratched the back of your neck. You didn’t know what else to say. You saw a tear drip to the floor as he nodded. 

You picked up your stuff and led yourself out, Ollie following closely behind. 

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

“Bye, Ollie.”

[officialfics]

Hello, could you to the “describe how Pedri would be with his gf in a private-non private relationship ?” with Gavi please?

A/N: here you go, enjoy❤️

warning: some suggestive theme, none⚠️

•••

I feel like Gavi is the type of person to be a sucker for his girlfriend. His friends would say he’s whipped. The only thing he talks about is you. 

You fell for him because of the passion he has for football. Since that passion would be in other aspects in his life. He would always give you the best time, always laughing and having fun. Also being there is you needed comfort and you reciprocated that. 

late night walks 

Imagine him not living far from your house. Jogging over and taking you on long walks. You two would be dressed in black coloured sweats. Trying not to get anyones attention, since people, especially girls we’re throwing them self at him all the time. he would follow the sidewalk rule and take you to some place he liked, probably called it his special place only now it was yours too.

love language

His love language is physical touch. I mean come on have you seen this guy twitch his teammates. He favourite is neck kisses. Don’t be surprised to be walking up with hickeys on a sunday afternoon to smiling Gavi. Looking at you like a puppy his eyebrows pinched together. Almost like he was sorry for what he did. But was he really? 

New best friend 

His sister would probably become a good friends of yours every time you were over at their house. Gavi would most likely be at practice so you and aurora would have girl talks and gossip about your love lives. Gavi caught you two once and wouldn’t stop whining for you to tell him what you were talking about. You had to come up with a lie and he got mad at his sister maybe even jealous.

Pictures

Gavi loves to take pictures of you. It doesn’t matter what situation, or any activity. You will se him pull out his phone and start clicking the button. He even has a secret album of you on his phone. Which he thinks you don’t know about. Surprise, surprise you do. You caught him ones staring at his phone and sneaked up behind him, you wanted  to laugh at the sight, but you just fell even harder for him. His were eyes scanning your face with features with love and admiration. mesmerised by your features.

Games 

He would also give you his jersey and invite you to all his games. Always wanting to meet you after so you could head home together. You would cheer for him from your whole heart and he heard it. You also put it on social media. He loved it when you posted him, it gave him reassurance and comfort. He is also pretty grumpy after games, you know (anger issues) and you are the cure for just that. 

publicity 

He has been interviewed a bunch as well. And every time the topic about girls and dating would come up and his answer remained the same. He would say your name and talk about you loads. And when crazy fans tried to hate on you he was fast to shut it down. your account was pro though so people couldn’t follow you it was for the best. the less of the relationship that was on the internet the better. Gavi had a little hard time understanding that. He couldn’t resist the urge of showing you off to everyone. 

Another bonus* 🫢

between the sheets 

Gavi is a real passionate as I mentioned. I feel like he would be the same during the deed. He loves to make you feel good and is always looking at you to see your reaction to the thing he did to you. You also liked making him jealous, it would lead to the most mind blowing sex.