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fallen-in-dreams · 3 years ago

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Moving On

Also on AO3. Pairing: Sasuke/Hinata. Summary: Everyone was lying to her. Killing her with kindness. Shielding her from the pain they all know is coming. But now it was time for some hard-hitting truths. And from the most unlikely source. SasuHina.Post-war. Prompt: Day 25: The Season of Grief. Rated: T. Words: 7,566. Status: Complete.

Author note: Angst and Hinata POV as she slowly comes to the realisation that she can’t have the life she’d been planning for. The Season of Grief = The Five Stages of Grief. The grief of losing the love she used to have.

Warnings/tags: One-sided SasuSaku. One-sided NaruHina. Naruto/OC. Angst with denial, pining, and romantic existential crisis. But with a happy ending.

Thank-you so much @sasuhinamonth for hosting this. I'm later than I’d planned, sorry. Hope that’s okay. :)

“There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't even jump puddles for you.” – Unknown

Denial.

Life was a series of choices.

For example, Hinata Hyuuga could choose to accept the arranged marriage her father had planned for her, or she could refuse to sign on the dotted line and hold out for love. She chose the latter. She was sure that fourth cousin her father had in mind for her was a nice man, but she wasn’t interested. And after surviving the war and learning to defend herself better emotionally, the last thing she wanted was to regress into the dutiful daughter who never complained. She was finally in control of her own life.

And she was still waiting on Naruto-kun.

Hinata was tired of the sad looks her clansmen would give her when she rebuffed their advances. Centuries of marrying their third or fourth cousins had instilled it too deeply in them that they couldn’t live any other way. Naruto had taught her she could do better, and she was determined to do so.

All of her choices to move forward were the reason Hanabi had been named Clan Heiress. She was already being prepped for it before the war, but their father’s insistence on an arranged marriage was the final straw. Hinata had been officially removed from the running. She would’ve been concerned about being branded with the Branch’s Curse Seal if Naruto hadn’t been so vocal in his disagreement about the practice. The Leaf hero’s words resonated with the village, and Lord Hokage started negotiations to prevent further sealings. Kakashi had also made motions to have those who currently bore the juinjutsu to be released from it. It would take a few more years to fully circumvent it, as the seal hadn’t been designed to be removed, but it was a step forward for the clan. A hope for a better future.

Everything Neji had wanted.

Hinata couldn’t be happier. She only wished to share in that future with Naruto. He was her hero. And the love of her life. She just needed to be more patient with him. But it was frustrating some days. She tried to talk to him and only succeeded when they were alone. Around friends and in crowds, he was so distracted by everyone. One-on-one he became fidgety, but she just chalked that up to him not being very good with girls. He’d stopped asking Sakura out, and the two were nothing more than friends, and he hadn’t asked anyone out. He was just shy.

Hinata already had a plan in place to ask him out herself. She just needed to work up for her own confidence to do so. Someone had to get this relationship going. In the meantime, she daydreamed about how it was going to go. But her days were lonely right now. Waiting. Patiently. And never quite making that important step forward. She had her family and friends and teammates but wanted more.

Her heart could only take so much.

“I just need to be brave.”

Hinata wasn’t brave, emotionally. In dire moments and with important things and people on the line, she knew how to be brave. Adrenaline and determination got her a long way. But in the aftermath, she found herself succumbing to the fear of rejection and crippling shyness.

“Yes, you do.”

She started, realising she’d said that out loud, in front of her sister. She’d been so lost in her thoughts and forgotten where she was for a moment. Hanabi was sitting across from her, the low serving table between them, ignoring the servants as they poured the tea for her before turning to her older sister. Hinata’s sister was clutching a half-finished kimono to her lap and lazily sewing at the hem of it. For such a skilled fighter, her movements were surprisingly delicate.

This was a weekly thing for them. Every Sunday at lunch, when their father was too busy with clan duties to interrupt or overhear them, they would talk to each other about anything or anyone, and when the Hyuuga servants left, even gossip sometimes. Hanabi had been carrying that kimono around all week, taking her time with building on it. Hinata knew her sister well enough to know it was a project with no defined outcome. She was just adding to it at her own leisure. Who knew what it would look like when she was finally done?

Hinata delicately sipped at her tea as Hanabi continued to ignore her own; her eyes narrowing as she focused intensely on the needle and thread. Her sister had developed a habit of people watching, since the war ended. And her insight was far sharper than anyone that Hinata knew. It made her feel insignificant.

“Spoken to Naruto lately?”

Hinata nodded. It was a silent lie. But she could’ve easily ran into him a few days ago if she wanted to so she didn’t see the point in saying otherwise. He was very busy with missions and handling Sasuke. The Uchiha’s release from jail had come as no surprise, given who was Hokage now. Kakashi had always had unwavering faith that he’d return. Just as Naruto did. Sakura… Hinata had seen her waver. But she was more confident now than ever about their team returning as family. Hinata only hoped that when she started dating Naruto herself, that it didn’t upset their dynamic.

“You’re grieving.”

Hinata raised an eyebrow at that. “What am I grieving?”

Her sister smiled. “Love.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Naruto-kun isn’t the smartest person,” Hanabi said. “And I think you know that.”

“He doesn’t have to be.”

Her sister smiled. Again. A knowing smile that Hinata didn’t appreciate. But she said nothing of it and returned to watching Hanabi’s expert hands as she weaved the thread in and out of the kimono. This was a hobby for the younger sister. They’d both learned how to sew traditional garments as well as fix them, when they were still barely able to fight. It was second nature to them both. But Hanabi found a kind of peace to the process that Hinata never could.

“Father wishes you to marry soon.”

“And you?”

Hanabi shook her head. “A few more years, perhaps. When I’m ready to begin training to take over the clan.”

She was still too young to learn everything. Given that Hiashi was nowhere near retiring, it didn’t serve any purpose to put her through those rigorous trials just yet. But Hinata was surprised their father wasn’t thinking about grandchildren yet. At least not from his heiress.

Hanabi put the kimono down and finally sipped at her tea. “How do you feel about Naruto-kun?”

“I love him?”

It was immediate and instinctive, but it sounded more like a question than a statement. Hanabi didn’t react to the questioning tone of her voice. She just gave her older sister a look that told her she was questioning her for more than just curiosity.

“Are you sure, Oneesan?”

She had convinced herself so thoroughly that it was going to happen. Hinata brushed at the hem of the sleeve of her Yukata. Was she? Did she?

Yes.

She still loved Naruto-kun. Of course, she did. She’d gone through too much to just suddenly stop caring about him. He was in her heart. Just like Neji still was.

Was.

“I asked him out.”

“What did he say?”

“He said ‘let’s go to Ichiraku’.” He also said, “that bum Sasuke can pay for mine this time,” but she didn’t see how that was relevant. It was a date. And only two people could go on a date at the same time.

Right?

“Will the rest of Team Kakashi be there?”

Hinata opened her mouth to answer then shut it, her eye twitching in annoyance. She calmed herself and shook her head. “Of course not.”

She didn’t like the way this conversation was going. Hinata glanced at the clock on the wall. They normally took tea, and then lunch, all awhile talking of friends and goals. It was funny to her that they’d never done this until recently. What exactly was the point before now?

Hanabi placed her tea down, almost finished. “We should have the food brought in, before it gets cold.”

Hinata nodded mechanically and waited for the servants to finish setting the table before disappearing. They could not be overheard in this room by anyone who wasn’t already in it. The jutsu that allowed this privacy had been in place since long before either of them were born.

Hanabi started talking about a jutsu that their father wanted to teach them and Hinata calmly dug into her Udon noodles. Silence eventually fell until they were both done. After the servants retrieved the plates, Hanabi went right back to pressing and hemming the edges of the kimono in her hand.

“Sasuke-kun walked by the compound again this morning.”

“Hm?” Hinata sat up straighter at that.

“He’s been doing that a lot lately,” Hanabi mused. “But not last week when you were staying over Sakura’s.”

For Ino’s surprise party sleepover. Which was Sakura’s idea.

Hinata hadn’t slept in her own bed for two nights. It was a first for her, for a long time.

“Sasuke-kun looks in here too. Like he’s searching for something. It’s a barely noticeable glance, but I’ve been staking out the gates.”

“Do you like him?” Hinata was surprised at her sister as well as the strange clenching of her gut.

Hanabi scoffed. “No. But ever since I first saw him watching you training with your team after he got out of prison, I’ve been noticing he does that with you a lot.”

Hinata scoffed. “Don’t be silly.”

“Yeah, you’re right. He’s probably just plotting to kill you.” Hanabi ignored her sister’s worried expression. “Or wondering why you always look so sad these days.”

“I’m not sad.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not.”

Hanabi set the unfinished kimono down and stared her sister straight in the eyes. “Do you love him?”

“Who?” Hinata hated how her voice rose a few octaves.

“Naruto-kun.”

“Yes,” she said. “I love him.”

She would wait for Naruto. For him to come to terms with what had happened and realise they were meant to be together. Hinata would be the quiet voice he can’t block out because he loves her so much. No matter that he had already had numerous occasions to prove it to her. Even someone as clueless as him couldn’t not know how she felt. She just needed to give him a push in the right direction.

That’s what I have to do.

And she went right on back to pretending she didn’t see the pitying look on her sister’s face.

.:.

Anger.

The restaurant was noisy by the time Hinata arrived, dressed up and twisting her fingers nervously. She looked up into the colourful lights that decorated the restaurant of choice. Night-time made this place come alive in a way that surprised patrons that saw it for the first time. This was also one of the newer restaurants that opened after the war. So many things had changed, and so fast and it felt like Konoha was quickly becoming a very different village. Kakashi had authorised integral changes and Hinata could see the village one day becoming as large as a city. She was kind of nervous about that. Their population was steadily growing too, even only a year out.

She sighed and stepped forward in the waiting line. Naruto had said he’d come about seven and it was only a few minutes before. Hinata had spent the last hour already dressed for this date. Her stomach had twisted, making her throw up twice, before that. The line moved again, and she found herself at the head of it faster than her nerves could handle.

It’s finally happening.

“May I help you?”

Hinata cleared her throat. “Party for two. Under the name Hinata Hyuuga.”

The server looked through her list and her eyes widened in surprise. “I’m sorry, we were told that was a party of four.”

“A-are you sure?”

The woman turned the clipboard to show her. When Hinata had asked Naruto to make the arrangement, because she’d been called away by her father, she’d assumed he had made it just for the two of them. It was supposed to be a date… right? When the venue was changed from Ichiraku to The Sannin Sushi House she assumed this was finally going to be more intimate.

Hinata swallowed heavily. “I-I, uh. He must’ve made a mistake.”

The server nodded her head in understanding. “Yes, but unfortunately, we can’t change your table. There aren’t any spare ones tonight.”

The sound of the other patrons hit her then, reminding her of how loud and full the restaurant was. She just nodded and Hinata went along with it, hiding her disappointment. They would just have to do with a larger table between them. A voice in the back of her head scoffed at her.

Who else is coming tonight?

Maybe Naruto had misheard her? She didn’t understand how he could have but it had to have been a mistake. She shook her head, chastising herself for worrying over something so trivial. She was stronger than this.

“Thank-you,” she bowed to the server. “Where is the table?”

Hinata followed the woman and settled into the chair that gave her the best view of the restaurant entrance. She was already on edge, with the change in her plans, and worried that something else might sneak up behind her if she wasn’t careful. All the courage she’d learned from Naruto-kun had boiled off and she needed to get a hold of herself.

“Dining alone, again?”

Hinata gave a start at the familiar voice. “Sasuke-kun,” she said softly.

Why is he here?

Did this mean Naruto had invited him too? No, that didn’t make any sense.

The Uchiha slid into the chair across from her. This was one of the non-self-serve restaurants that had popped up in Konoha in the last twelve months and as a result the space between them, under the table, was minimal. His foot accidentally brushed against hers and she started again.

“A-are you here–”

“Hm. Naruto said he’d pay this time if I turned up early.”

They got dinner together a lot, then? Hinata struggled not to lose the soft smile she’d plastered to her face. It was only natural that Naruto would make time for his former teammate who was also his best friend. This didn’t mean he was avoiding her.

Of course not. Why would I even think such a thing?

“W-where is Sakura-san?”

Sasuke picked up the menu in front of him and lazily perused it, not answering her question. He didn’t look over at her when she repeated the question and began tapping the table with the menu absentmindedly. She wondered what was going through his head. After a few minutes, she’d had enough.

“Why are you here?”

Now, he looked up at her. “There are no more free tables.”

Is he making fun of me?

She assumed he was a joking. He had to be. This was supposed to be just her and Naruto. Sasuke was ruining everything. She didn’t want to burst that out at him, but it did really feel like he was getting in the way deliberately. Hanabi’s words to her the other day about Sasuke following her around popped into her head, but that was ridiculous. Everyone knew he was dating Sakura, just like Hinata hoped to begin dating Naruto. Why else would Sakura be so adamant something was going to happen between them?

“He’s just shy, Hinata,” the pinkette had told her yesterday. “And we’re going out tomorrow night anyway.”

Tomorrow night is tonight, she reminded herself. So where is Sakura?

A waitress sidled up to their table, giving Sasuke a once over with her eyes before asking them for their orders.

“Pork Katsu Curry,” Sasuke said. “With a side of Kani Salad and Green Tea.”

“Certainly, handsome.” The waitress turned to Hinata. “And you, sweetie?”

Hinata felt very uncomfortable under the stare they were both giving her. It felt like she was on a date with Sasuke, not Naruto. She didn’t know how to handle this. It felt like the world had just tipped on its axis. When she was this uncomfortable, Hinata usually just caved to whatever was expected of her. But she didn’t want to keep doing that with the important things in her life. However, this was too public and sensitive a venue for her to start putting her foot down without repercussions. Saying anything about her disappointment and desire to get rid of them both would only make her regret it later.

She blinked heavily. Uh, right. They were still looking at her expectantly. Though Sasuke’s eyes were occasionally drifting off to the side like he was embarrassed, but he still looked more bored than anything.

“Miso Soup,” she said finally, going with something she knew well. Hinata wasn’t hungry enough for a side, but she didn’t want them to think she was angry with them. “And M-Moyashi Salad on the side.” She cleared her throat. “And just some water, please.”

The waitress read their orders back to them then winked. “That’ll be ready in a jiffy. You two lovebirds let me know if you need anything else, okay?”

Hinata’s skin flushed crimson and she lowered her gaze to the table, not daring to see Sasuke’s reaction to that.

“How long until Naruto-kun arrives, do you think?”

Sasuke glanced over at her and shrugged, then leaned forward to rest his chin on his hands, now staring at her. It was making her uncomfortable, so she looked back down again. They remained that way, in silence, for a while. Hinata entertained herself by counting the tassels on the edge of the tablecloth. Over and over again.

“You…”

Hinata looked up quickly as Sasuke trailed off, the look on his face suddenly uncertain. Before she could ask him what he was going to say, the waitress returned with their orders. She felt herself turning beet red, realising they’d been sitting like this for at least ten minutes. The waitress was eyeing them curiously, like one would a couple of bugs under a microscope.

“Thank-you,” they both said at the same time.

Hinata sighed deeply as the waitress bowed to them. She was eerily silent this time and moved away quickly.

“I think we unnerve her,” she said softly.

Sasuke glanced at the woman’s retreating back before digging into his food. For him, it was digging in. Hinata had been in many group outings with Team Kakashi since the war ended and Sasuke was allowed free reign of the village. He ate like a nobleman; picky and proper. Not at all like Naruto.

She sighed again and picked up the bowl with her Miso Soup. If he wasn’t going to turn up, she might as well enjoy the night air and good food. They ate in silence and Hinata slowly settled her nerves, finding the quiet between them a comfortable surprise. The loud noises in the restaurant didn’t bother her anymore and she proceeded to escape into her own little world, just thinking about things.

Her father had been asking her about her future lately, instead of telling her what it would entail. She was finally having conversations with him in which taking part meant that she could approach the subject matter honestly. He’d even stopped asking her about her love life. (His attempt at a marriage of convenience notwithstanding.) Hinata put her bowl down and glanced over at Sasuke. It seemed nobody had a handle on their love life lately.

“Are you…” She hesitated when Sasuke put down his spoon and she suddenly had his full attention. “Um. I thought you were coming here with Sakura-san on a date.” He shook his head. “She, uh, said so yesterday.”

Was that a smirk? Whatever it was, it was gone a moment later.

“Sakura…” he cocked his head to the side. “She has different ideas on what an invitation out with friends means.”

Hinata understood what he meant but frowned softly. Everyone knew that Sakura was obsessed with Sasuke and saw any attention from him as evidence of their undying love. A simple invitation with Team Kakashi could set her off on a soliloquy about star-crossed love. But that didn’t explain why she wasn’t here. Her absence made even less sense than Naruto’s.

Sasuke sighed, obviously realising she wanted to know more. He sat back in his chair heavily.

“I… told her we were meeting at Ichiraku’s.”

“You…”

He told Sakura the wrong place on purpose. He had no intention of being honest with her. Was it a trick? Or just him being a douche? Hinata narrowed her eyes at Sasuke. A familiar feeling of annoyance rose up inside her and if she’d been paying attention to why this bothered her so much, she’d have realised Sasuke was giving Sakura the same kind of brush off that Naruto had done to Hinata.

But she couldn’t bring herself to yell at him either. She ground her teeth. “Take it from me, Sasuke-kun, you wouldn’t like someone you care about doing that to you.”

“Don’t call me Sasuke-kun.”

He hated honorifics.

“You have no idea.” He said it like he’d come to some kind of existential realisation.

“About what?”

“You’re quiet and shy and sweet to everyone. Always putting yourself down and picking up everyone else.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. Sasuke continued, now leaning forward and pointing at her like he was her sensei, and she was a naughty genin who refused to listen.

“Despite having such a powerful dojutsu, you don’t even see what’s happening right in front of you. Naruto has obviously left you in the dirt, but you keep holding out hope he’ll come around.” She fidgeted as he continued to reprimand her. “Face it: he lied to you.”

“He was just trying to spare my feelings.” Her voice sounded hollow, even to her.

Sasuke scoffed. “By dragging the decision out.”

“What are you doing to S-Sakura-san?”

“That’s different,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “I’ve told her I’m not interested but she won’t take the hint.”

“Naruto-kun’s–”

“He’s a dobe. And he isn’t going to date you, no matter what you think.”

“How can you call him your friend and speak of him like this? I thought you cared–”

“I never said I cared about him.”

“I suppose you expect me to believe that?”

“I’m not the only one running away from the truth.”

“No, you’re perfect,” she said, spitting out the last word.

He smiled at that. Genuinely. Her frustration seemed to amuse him.

“Why are you saying these things to me?” She asked, clenching her fists and glaring openly at him.

“Because no-one else will,” he said, matter-of-factly. “Least of all the one person who should.”

But why did he have to be so rude about it?

He levelled her with the most intense non-glare stare she’d ever seen from him. “Kindness doesn’t seem to work on you.”

Damn. She’d asked that question out loud. Hinata couldn’t get a handle on the emotions bubbling up inside her. It was too painful. She’s waited for years. Held herself up high and given every inch of herself. But Sasuke knew Naruto better than she did. He said the blond had no intention of doing anything with her. He said that he was just a dobe who wasn’t telling her what she needed to hear. She was so furious now that Hinata couldn’t hear anything other than her own blood rushing in her ears.

How dare he?

“You are a low life.” Hinata could hardly believe the words were out of her mouth as she stood up, her body shaking with anger. Sasuke just stared back at her, not surprised or offended one bit. “Sakura-san could do so much better than you.”

“Tell her that.”

She desperately wanted to throw her untouched water at him. But she reigned in that emotion, not wanting to cause a scene that could get back to her father. She’d already embarrassed herself enough. Instead, Hinata huffed, rifled in her purse and threw down just enough money to only pay for her own food. Naruto had apparently promised to pay for Sasuke, and he wasn’t here to do so. But that didn’t mean that she had to do it in his stead. Feeling quite unlike herself, she scowled at him before storming off.

Hinata didn’t see the genuine curiosity on his face at her actions. The small smile of interest she’d sparked. She could only see red. It would be hours before she could calm down enough to realise, he’d been right.

.:.

Bargaining.

If only she’d been stronger. And more forceful, like Sakura, then none of this would’ve happened. Her life had spiralled out of control. Before that dinner with Sasuke, Hinata could just go along and pretend that one day Naruto would ask her out for real, or at least take her asking seriously. He wasn’t in a relationship of his own, though – to her chagrin – his fangirls were still as stubborn as ever. And that lack of a relationship had given her hope.

Now she had all kinds of thoughts about what was really going on. And the truth was, that Sasuke was right. Naruto-kun wasn’t interested in her like that. It was still hard to grasp since she’d held onto it for so long and it didn’t feel real. They’d shared a moment during the war, holding hands and promising to be there for each other. She’d taken it as a declaration of love while he’d been talking about friendship. Granted, the kid of friendship you kill and die for, but friendship all the same.

I’m as bad as Sakura.

Or maybe only almost as bad as Sakura, since the pinkette was still talking Sasuke up to everyone. He’d made a scene the day after that dinner date (and she could admit that, although accidental, it had been a date), which should’ve put Sakura in her place. Hinata hadn’t seen either of them since then, so she didn’t know if it worked. But she had bigger fish to fry.

Hinata needed to regain control of this chaos she’d created. Maybe she was still in denial though, and it would explain why she’d deliberately made her way to Ichiraku’s, knowing he’d be there. He always was at lunchtime. Everyone knew that Naruto got up at nine o’clock, had breakfast (sometimes in his apartment and sometimes at Ichiraku’s), headed over to the training grounds where he’d work out (and sometimes spar, if any of his former teammates were available), then practically skip to Ichiraku’s for lunch. He’d spend anywhere from half an hour to an hour there, depending on how hungry he was and how many fangirls slowed him down. Then Naruto would promptly return to the training grounds for a few hours before tracking down his former teammates to see who wasn’t busy and then bug them until they either kicked him out or he got bored. If the sun hadn’t set yet he’d wander through the village, waving at people, being waved at, and stopping to talk to other Konoha Eleven members.

Sometimes he spent the late afternoon with Konohamaru and his friends. Then he’d go back to the training grounds and use the dark to hone his sensory skills. Naruto would go at it until he dropped, then drag his arse back home, eat, bathe, and finally sleep until morning.

His schedule was a little different sometimes, depending on his mood and available friends (Kakashi didn’t send him on many missions because he was too overpowered for most of them) but the lunchtime and when he started night-time training were like clockwork.

When he would find time to do the things he’d always gone on about, she didn’t know. But Hinata knew his current schedule because she was a stalker. It was obvious to her now. Nobody else followed him around like this. She wondered if he’d ever taken the time to notice. She needed to get a hold of this before she wasted her life away.

But Hinata couldn’t stop wondering what could’ve been if she’d approached Naruto right after the war instead of waiting for him to get into a routine of ignoring her. Maybe she’d have shown him just how right they were for each other. And he’d finally listen.

This was why she was walking toward the Ichiraku Ramen stand. It was why she stopped next to a stall of flowers and pretended to be interested in them as she watched the ramen stand in her peripherals. And why she didn’t move away the moment she realised he was on a date. Her stomach clenched, but it was a milder pain than she expected. Even so, it still threatened to bring a fresh bout of tears to her eyes to watch him with this girl.

Naruto was the only member of Team Kakashi at the stall. He stood outside, laughing and joking with someone that Hinata didn’t recognise. The girl was really pretty. With short auburn hair and a petite figure that her clothes highlighted, and her makeup complimented. What made Hinata realise it was a date was not only how the girl was dressed to the nines (Naruto, too, for him anyway), but also how he reciprocated when she ran her hand along his arm. He was blushing and trying to pull of the cool guy act. If this was just another fangirl, he wouldn’t put that much work into it, surely.

They talked and laughed a few minutes more before clasping hands and ducking under the flap to take their respective stools in Ichiraku.

Definitely a date.

Hinata let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and turned away from the flowers. The stall server was disappointed but quickly turned to another customer.

Story of my life.

A sudden flare of chakra had her spinning around and she found herself suddenly face to face with Sasuke Uchiha. Had he seen her stalking his friend? There was nothing but his usual aloof stare on his face as he silently appraised her. But she knew. He knew. And the shame of it made her body shake with both anger and humiliation. So, she did the only thing her body was willing to do in that moment.

Hinata ran away.

She took to the rooftops and pushed herself to her limit, trying to get away from Naruto. From Sasuke. Her tears dried on her face by the time she found herself at Team Eight’s old training ground. She wiped at them then found her favourite oak tree and sat down. Even under the shade, the sun was warm and comforting on her skin. She basked in it, closing her eyes.

This time, Hinata felt him arrive. But she didn’t feel childish enough to tell him to go away. She opened her bleary eyes and looked up at him, shielding her eyes from the sun. He looked radiant, with the curve of the blinding light almost silhouetting him. Sasuke moved forward to better block the rays and she lowered her arm.

“Why are you h-here?”

He moved out of the way of the sun and Hinata shaded her eyes quickly. Sasuke always did have a thing for being dramatic. She turned to look at him as he sat down on the grass next to her. He didn’t answer at first, staring up into the sun like it didn’t bother him at all. Nothing ever seemed to bother him. Finally, he sighed.

“I told you so.”

The floodgates opened. She broke down. Hinata couldn’t stop it. She pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged herself, her face in her knees as she cried. She wasn’t upset at him. Only herself. Hinata didn’t react when Sasuke shifted his bum to press his side against her and gave her a one-armed hug. Her head lolled to rest on his shoulder as he pulled her closer to himself, but she didn’t relent on the tears. His hand was large and warm against her, making Hinata cry even more.

Eventually, she stopped shaking and sniffled heavily.

She hated that he could get over their argument so easily and yet she was still plagued with doubts about how she’d acted. How rude he’d been. Hinata gave herself a few silent moments to compose herself before sliding out of his grip and wiping her face. Hinata rose shakily to her feet and gave him a slight bow.

“Thank-you Uchiha-san. I can see myself home now. Good day.”

He watched silently as she walked away solemnly.

.:.

Depression.

She avoided every member of Team Kakashi for weeks. Hinata couldn’t avoid Kakashi forever however, as the Hokage called her in for a pep talk – his version, rather, which was to ask her if she wanted a mission outside of Konoha. “To get away for a while. You could treat it like a vacation.”

Did everyone know about her problems? Kakashi probably just knew because of the other members of his former team, but it felt like a spotlight was suddenly shining on her and the whole world had gathered to watch her humiliation. She understood his concern. Hinata would think less of him if he hadn’t been. But she couldn’t deal with being this exposed right now.

“No thank-you, Hokage-sama,” she’d said, bowing lower than usual. “I am expected to join father in a mission soon and it would be disrespectful of me to leave Konoha right now.”

He just stared back at her for a moment but eventually nodded his head slowly.

Naruto’s voice interrupted them, suddenly bouncing off the walls as if he was standing right there and making Hinata jumped. But the loud blond was actually just booming down the hall outside.

“Hang on,” Kakashi said, then stood and disappeared out of the room.

Hinata could hear them talking, and Naruto’s whining voice and something about Ichiraku. Naruto yelled out, “woo-hoo!”.

Lord Hokage is trying to get rid of him for me.

But it sounded like he was too excited to get the hint.

Hinata couldn’t stand the pity. The deep, painful feeling that churned in her gut and worked its way up through her body like acid reflux. Hinata stumbled slightly from the physical shock of it. Kakashi meant well and she understood this, but it just made her feel so small.

She couldn’t let people cover for her anymore. Hinata realised that was what people had been doing. Trying to help her by keeping them apart. But all that had done was blind her to the truth. She loved her friends, but this was not the way to moving on. She had to be braver than this. Steeling herself, Hinata pushed her shoulders back and pushed the doors open, leaving the Hokage's office. Kakashi looked surprised to see her come out. His former student went silent upon seeing her, then started fidgeting.

“Hinata…” Naruto trailed off, rubbing the back of his head.

But Hinata ignored him, her chin high and face resolutely forward. She would not give herself the opening to fall back into the comfort of lies. She would not regress. She was stronger than this, damnit! Nobody said anything else as she left the Hokage Tower. When she was out of sight, Hinata finally breathed, shaking her arms to release the tension. Fighting the tears that threatened to spill over.

“I need to go home,” she said to herself, shivering. A storm was on its way, and she didn’t want to walk home soaking wet. She picked up the pace and quickly entered the front gates of the Hyuuga compound. The rain started pelting down the moment they closed behind her, and she sighed deeply. The guards nodded to her, and she smiled at them with all the warmth she could muster.

The grounds of the Hyuuga compound were beautiful no matter what time of year it was. Even in the moist air they came alive. Hinata walked through the covered walkways between the houses, mulling over what she’d just done.

I ignored Naruto-kun.

She’d never done that before. And she had no idea how to deal with it. A part of her wanted to break down again. The other was feeling light as air. Free. Hinata could feel the emotion building up inside her again so hurried into her room and slid the door closed, before anyone could see her. She carefully placed her sandals on the shoe rack and pulled a coat from her wardrobe. The temperature had plummeted, so she sent out her chakra to get the attention of a servant and had them bring her a hot chocolate. Once she found herself alone, she sat on the window seat of her study and stared out through the glass window at the rain below her, hugging the hot chocolate to herself as she took tentative sips.

She was just daydreaming about figures dancing in the rain when she spotted something.

A figure walking in the rain. It was definitely male, his hands in his pockets and exuding chakra from his body to keep the rain at bay. She could sense it faintly, even from this distance. It reminded her of that mission so long ago when she’d been encased in crystal and would’ve died if she hadn’t expelled chakra from her chakra points. It was an easy thing for a Hyuuga to do, but this person wasn’t a Hyuuga.

They paused and looked up toward her. She couldn’t see his face clearly because of how hard the rain was coming down but Hinata was sure now: it was Sasuke. Hanabi was right. She kept watching as he slowly turned away and continued walking. Had he seen her? Did she want him to? Did it even matter?

Yes. Yes. And emphatic yes.

She had no idea why, but yes. Hinata wanted him to care enough to take the long way home that took him past the Hyuuga gates. He was the only one telling her the things she needed to hear. Even Hanabi’s questions weren’t as blunt as they should be. Sasuke was the only one not pitying her. She found she hated pity. She appreciated him so much in that moment. More than she’d appreciated him before.

Hinata swallowed heavily, palming her hand against the glass windowpane as his figure disappeared into the haze of the heavy rain.

“Sasuke.”

.:.

Acceptance.

All she felt now was exhaustion. She had just run a marathon and dragged herself through most of it, but eventually the energy would return. Her body would recover, and her mind would follow suit. She hoped. She had put so much of her energy into the life she’d imagined with Naruto.

Hinata was surprised she hadn’t snapped much earlier. Looking back, it was obvious this wasn’t going to happen.

He hadn’t left her for someone else. Because they’d never been an item. Her heart still wrenched at the thought of what might’ve been, but she was finally taking those steps to let him go. She had no business shoving him into her heart anyway. Hanabi told her, “You’re finally accepting your grief” when she told her and gave her the warmest hug she’d ever received. It almost made her break down again.

Then Hanabi asked her about Sasuke.

“Sasuke-kun?”

He looked up as she approached, seemingly surprised that she’d sought him out this time. Normally it was him hounding her. No, that wasn’t the right word. He didn’t hound her. He wasn’t some obsessed fanboy. She smiled at that. No, Sasuke was a good friend. She swallowed heavily at the weird sensation that sentence had induce in her gut.

Friend.

The word didn’t sound right either.

So, she’d tracked him down, only to find him in the Uchiha compound graveyard. She almost turned around and left right then, to give him privacy, but figured if he could interrupt her when she was doing something important then she could do the same.

“Hinata?”

He didn’t complain as she knelt next to him and offered a prayer to the headstone he was sitting in front of. It had his parents name on it. She closed her eyes and silently wished them well in the afterlife, then opened her eyes and turned to look at him.

“I was looking for you.”

“Obviously. Why?”

She smiled. “Why not?”

He scoffed, but she didn’t lose her smile. He stared back at her before finally relenting and offering up his own light smile. They both turned back to the headstone and silence reigned for a while. It was comfortable and companionable.

“I’m leaving Konoha.”

She was surprised. “Where will you go?”

“I have a mission.”

Hinata frowned. “Lord Hokage is letting you on missions outside the village?”

He pulled a face and she almost giggled. “Kakashi has little choice.”

This told Hinata that the mission was international. She was suddenly burning with curiosity, but held back because, likely, it was top-secret. And she wasn’t in the know on top-secret missions. The inner circle of the Hokage was always a tight, handful of people and this Hokage was no different. She had no doubt that the rest of his former team knew what he was going to be doing.

“It’s just politics,” he offered, sitting back on his bum now and pulling mindlessly at the grass. “Nobody but I can do it, apparently.”

He didn’t look happy about it. Hinata was quite enjoying his openness right now.

“And it’s for an indefinite amount of time.”

She nodded but he wasn’t paying her any mind. It wasn’t personal so she didn’t take it to heart. She wondered how long he’d be gone. If Hinata was honest with herself, she was going to miss him. Before he got involved with her problems, she wouldn’t have really cared either way. But things were different now. Every day since that evening, she’d seen him in the rain, she’d sat at her window and watched him walk by. Every time he stopped and looked up at her, she swore she could feel his eyes on her. Like he knew she was watching him too.

“What’s the mission?”

Why did I just ask that?

She’d held back because it wasn’t her place. Was she really this desperate to know all about him?

Sasuke stood slowly and stared down at her. “Agree to come with me first.”

“What?” She scrambled to her feet.

“Agree to come with me and I’ll tell you all about it.”

He was serious. She frowned. “But Hokage-sama–”

“Kakashi already offered you an out. He won’t complain about you finally taking it.”

“I’m not approved for the mission.”

“You don’t have to be.” He stepped closer to her, and she felt rooted to the spot. His eyes were intense on hers and in the back of her mind she realised she was seeing a side to Sasuke that few ever did. It was intense. The way he looked at her would haunt her dreams if she said no.

She shivered. If I take too long to answer, will he beg?

His comment had a “they don’t have to know” vibe. Like they were runaways. Star-crossed lovers. She felt herself flush at the thought of that. The idea of going with him sounded exciting if not terrifying. But the idea of staying here, not knowing when she would see him again, was worse.

“You can return to Konoha anytime you want,” he added, stepping impossibly closer. “To whatever life you think you will have back here. Or you can come with me, do some good for the village without having to deal with all the shit you’ve been going through.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. His verbal acknowledgement of her problems seemed so out of character for him. But she was grateful and offered a small smile, which he quickly returned, also to her surprise.

Who is this man standing in front of me, asking me to basically run away with him?

It would be a huge undertaking and she had no idea what she was getting herself into. But suddenly, the rush of the unknown wasn’t so scary to her. It would be an adventure. One with purpose. And perhaps, she could find a little of herself out there. With him.

Hinata widened her smile and nodded. “Okay.”

He was full of surprises, because the next thing she knew, Sasuke’s hands were cupping her face. Her mouth opened slightly in shock, and he licked his lips before slowly moving in toward her. He was giving her time to pull away and change her mind. Hinata didn’t take it, closing her eyes as his mouth gently pressed against hers.

She should’ve seen this coming. This was why Sasuke had even bothered to give her the time of day. This was what all their little moments had been leading up to. This odd feeling of belonging was reciprocated.

I am so blind.

The taste of salt mixed in with the taste of him as she deepened the kiss. But for once, they were happy tears.

.:.

#SasuHina #sasuhinamonth2021 #day 25 #the season of grief #fanfiction #my fanfiction

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gravityunforgiven · 4 years ago

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Right Where You Left Me (Kakashi x OC)

Pairings: Kakashi x OC, Jiraiya x Tsunade, Dan Kato x Tsunade

Synopsis:

She was the daughter of a Legendary Sannin, He, a son of a disgraced shinobi. Fate brought them together but life tore them apart. Will they be able to take control of their destinies and find their way back to each other?

...Or will they be another victim of the cruel shinobi world they are both a part of?

Chapter Two

In the next few years, Akira proved herself to be a little firecracker. She had captured the hearts of those who surrounded her almost immediately. Tsunade’s days became a little brighter due to the presence of her little one, she became her world. But still, Dan’s death loomed over her like a shadow. She couldn’t stop thinking about how he was supposed to be here, how they should be raising their child together instead of on her own. She could see him in their child every single day especially in her eyes, the eyes that Dan gave her. It was so much like his that she could almost imagine Dan staring right back at her.

And even in her disposition she could see bits of Dan mixed with her own. Akira’s character was what a person could call a perfect combination of her parents. She was normally a calm and laidback personality and even as a child she was selfless and kind to others but she could also be impatient at times and prone to rule-breaking a little more than Tsunade wanted to admit.

Everyday Akira radiated happiness to the people around her. Tsunade had hoped that her daughter would remain a civillian. That she would have a normal life inside the walls of the village, never having to know the cruelness of the shinobi world. She wanted her daughter to be protected more than anything in the world. Even Jiraiya who remained put for the first year of Akira’s life, shared Tsunade’s wishes but their hopes were all too soon shattered.

Even at only a few months old, Akira’s abilities were already starting to show itself. At first, both Tsunade and Jiraiya were in denial. It was unheard to have a child of such age show that much capabilities. They shoved it at the back of their minds for the time being but when Akira’s first birthday neared, refusing the truth was no longer an option. When Tsunade entered Akira’s room full of daisies, the truth dawned on them like a bucket full of ice cold water.

She had inherited her great-grandfather’s kekkei genkai.

The Wood Release.

She was the first since the Shodai Hokage’s time to have this nature transformation and to think that when everyone finally came into terms that this Release was extinct, Akira came along, having acquired it naturally, after it skipped two full generations of her family and more than seventy years since her great-grandfather was born.

This brought fear in Tsunade’s mind. The safety of her daughter could be at risk after this discovery. It was not a secret that the Wood Release was one, if not the most, sought after kekkei genkai in the world. Not just because of its rarity but also the power and versatility it gives its wielder.

And the destruction it may cause once fallen in the wrong hands.

If that wasn’t already bad enough as it is, a shocking discovery from the Third Hokage’s wife became the final nail in the box that sealed Akira’s fate as a protector of the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

“ What is that?” Biwako asked looking at Akira’s right feet as Jiraiya lulled her for afternoon nap. The child was just about to turn one and after Tsunade’s distressed conversations with Hiruzen about the safety of her child, the Hokage together with his wife, decided to pay the child a visit.

“ It showed up a few days after she was born.” Tsunade answered. She caught the startled look that passed Biwako’s face from across the chubadai as the older woman looked at her husband.

“What?” Tsunade asked, looking at the two. She knew immediately that something was going on and if it had anything to do with her daughter then needed to know. She had to.

“ Could it be possible?” Biwako’s eyes remained fixated on the Hokage.

“It makes a lot of sense.” Hiruzen recalled how Tsunade came into his office a few months after Akira’s birth. He had never seen him so frantic as she told him ever growing abilities of Akira. She said it was just a couple of flowers in the beginning and how she thought they were just reacting to her chakra but then the incident with the daisies happened and she was so sure that there was something wrong with her. Most children do not show their affiliated chakra natures until well into their childhoods when they’ve mastered their chakra control. He did his best to calm the new mother that day and assured her that it was probably because of Akira’s genetics and heritage but it never truly left his mind. Yes, it was possible that it was because she was the great-grand daughter of the First Hokage and the daughter of the two of the most skilled shinobis that the Leaf Village had come across but he always suspected that there was more behind what was seen. Biwako’s suspicions was entirely plausible given the facts.

“Shut the doors.” He instructed in a manner he was the only one who was allowed to do so.

“Have you ever heard of The Okami?” Biwako asked as soon as the doors were closed shut and they were completely alone.

“The Wolf Spirit? Yeah, from the folktales and myths.” Jiraiya’s voice had a hint of apprehensiveness, he had a feeling that he won’t like what they were about to imply. He looked at the innocent child in his arms. It’s impossible.

“Not exactly.” And so, Biwako told the tale of the Okami to the two Sannin. She told how the wolf, believed to be once a human, protected the people in the shadows. It was known for its benevolence and truthfulness and was well-respected and honored during it’s time. And when it’s time came, the Okami vowed to its descendants that when the humankind is in dire need of protection, it will once again return to the world. Up until now, it is believed that the descendants of the Okami still remains in the heart of the Kiyoiyuki Mountains.

Biwako told them that there only has been two other people recorded in recent history to be believed as the reincarnation of the wolf. The latest was during the beginning of the Warring States Period nearly two centuries ago. They all had the same mark Akira now possessed.

“You’re saying she’s a reincarnation of this wolf-spirit that hasn’t been seen in decades?”

It was the Lord Third who answered the clearly terrified mother. “We can’t be sure for now, Tsuna. We’ll have to wait until she’s older but it would explain why she developed such abilities this early. She isn’t like the other children.”

Tsunade felt like she was going to puke. Not only were her dreams of Akira living as a simple civillian were shattered but her fate to die for the village seemed inevitable.

“So she’s like a jinchūriki?” Jiraiya’s question sounded more like a statement.

“Similar, but no. Jinchūrikis have a spirit of a tailed beast living inside of them, like a seperate being. She doesn’t have that because she the Okami is inside her very core. They are one.” Biwako explained.

In the end, the four of them decided that Akira’s true nature would remain as a secret. There will be no papers linking to her true nature, only that she is a prodigy if her own right which can be easily explained by her origins. This was necessary to ensure that she would remain safe until she was ready to defend herself from those who would want to use her for their own gain.

In the following years, she would be trained rigorously to prepare her for her role as a protector of Konohagakure. A number of both current and non-Jonin-senseis were handpicked by the Hokage together with her mother and godfather were chosen to be her teachers and senseis in the upcoming years.

Tsunade was against the idea at first. She wanted to give her daughter a normal childhood like everyone else but knowing that training her is the only way to protect her, she agreed to the plan with a heavy heart.

It wasn’t easy to raise Akira on her own especially with her still not being able to really move on with Dan’s death knowing that they should be raising Akira together and her depression that was constantly making her day even harder but she did her best, the best she could manage. She thought her medical ninjutsu for the next nine years and just as she expected, she was a natural at it. That made Tsunade smile.

Much to their relief, Akira had a somewhat normal childhood, at least for the first nine years. She trained with her sensei’s on the weekends, attended the academy (sometimes) on weekdays and played with the other kids during the afternoon. Her skills were already advanced for her rank as an academy student when she was five. It was already comparable with a newly promoted chūnin and sometimes she would even spar with kids in the higher ranks.

She wasn’t always compliant though. She would skip sessions with her senseis from time to time and would play with the other kid instead, her taijutsu needed some work and her kenjutsu could still be improved. The adults took that as a good sign. They didn’t want to take her personality away and turn her into some sort of killing machine just because her destiny demanded her to.

It was during her training with Inoichi Yamanaka, a former student of her father, Dan Katō, when her nature as the reincarnation of The Okami was once and for all, confirmed. Her eyes had turned a into a bright shade of yellow, her pupils constricted to a tiny speck in the sea of yellow and her chakra that was usually associated with the color blue, became white as a snow. It was neutral. And deadly. Akira fainted after the incident and Inoichi decided to volunteer as her future master.

She was nine when her mother left. Tsunade had taught her everything she could in terms of medical ninjutsu. The top medical-nins will supervise Akira’s training from then on.

It was just supposed to be a few months of sabbatical. She just wanted some time alone to deal with her grief and depression. She wanted to be better mother for her daughter. Tsunade even asked Akira if she wanted to come travel with her and she actually hope that she would agree. She hoped that she could just whisk Akira away from her responsibilities from this damned shinobi world, she would have done so of she said yes. But like any other nine year old kid, she didn’t want to leave the place she had called home or fall behind her friends. Akira refused and instead asked her mother to bring her a gift from every town she would come and visit until her return.

And Akira didn’t realize her childhood would soon come to an end soon after her mother crossed the front gates of Konohagakure and onto the world outside.

Next up: Lots of Kakashi and Akira history.

Ask or Reblog for a tag!

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pinkhairedlily · 3 years ago

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Chapter 9 - Student Council President Sakura

SCPS AO3 | PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Sasuke wondered for the umpteenth time since three in the morning why he agreed to go with the baseball team for their summer camp and wondered more why the student council had to do its orientation and team building event at the same time. He supposed it was to cut down on expenses, but both trips could have gone on without his presence.

Well, it turned out his shoulders were needed as pseudo pillows for the sleepyheads duo. On one side, he can feel the wetness of Naruto’s drool dripping every minute onto his linen shirt, and on the other, Sakura’s vanilla shampoo was arresting his senses. Five hours after a rough roadtrip, the two awake beside a very grumpy Uchiha.

“I demand a barbecue treat from both of you,” he huffed as they disembarked in front of the groups’ joint headquarters.

His mood soured when Kakashi emerged from the next bus, serving as one of the stand-in guardians for the activities, followed by Hyuuga Hinata. She gave Sasuke a stern nod when their eyes met, and he briefly recounted their interaction while waiting for the rest of the participants.

“Good morning, Ms. Hyuuga,” Kakashi greeted. He waved for her to come closer, and he introduced her to the students. “If you’re not aware, the Sports Council has rolled out funding to under-resourced teams across the state to be particularly used for summer trainings. We’re lucky we’re one of those teams. Joining us as an observer is Mr. Hiashi’s daughter herself, Ms. Hinata, who also happens to study in the same district.”

She generously bowed to everyone with a tight-lipped smile. Later, she assumed a position beside Sasuke.

“If it makes you feel better, I did not orchestrate this,” Hinata said. “And if there’s anything you should now, both sides of that relationship have been hurt, with reasons far from what you’re thinking.” She stopped for a whole minute and breathed in, struggling to keep the tears at bay. “So please, leave me alone.”

Yeah, he was a bit of a jerk to her, Sasuke knew that. But he also knew that Hinata had already developed an affection for the blonde idiot, regardless of her denial. As much as he wouldn’t want to complicate things, he thought it best for now to allow the situation to play out. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t here to entangle himself in someone else’s business.

They settled in the mess hall cum dining area for a quick breakfast and breakdown of house rules. He still needed to get used to the fact that this was Sakura’s last time to be a head organizer for a school activity. She will pass on her reins to the incumbent secretary by the start of the next term. Both him and Naruto knew the extent of her sadness in letting this position go, and even more so the need to look out for her the instance she does her confession.

Yet she hasn’t. So they became unwilling witnesses to this awkward tiptoeing with awareness literally skewed to only one side of the party, and Kakashi showering in ignorance bliss.

They went about their room assignments, and Sasuke, with all his luck in the universe, was stuck with Kakashi and Naruto.

“I won’t ask if it’s possible to trade rooms, but would you care to explain why you don’t have a solo room of your own?” he annoyingly asked the silver-haired man who was nose deep at the moment in a coverless book.

“I’m your guardian, Uchiha,” Kakashi replied while yawning. “I’m gonna go sleep so why don’t you frolick in the ocean with your friends while it’s still your free time?”

Unwilling to spend his time with a man who annoyed him so much for no reason at all, Sasuke trudged off his designated room and followed the many footsteps on the sand. The untrimmed hedges eventually give way to the expanse of the gray ocean, its waves roaring from afar, building up like shifting towers, cresting, and breaking into foam by the time they reach the shore.

Naruto was already neck deep in the waters with the rest of his team, the new captain certainly setting a good camaraderie example. Sakura caught his entrance and waved him over despite the new council members intensely blushing at the sight of him.

“Sasuke!” He heard her call.

But every step he took on the soft sand was like a laboring walk on a cesspool of blood, his parents’ blood.

“The turtle is faster than you, you slowpoke!” Sakura continued her incessant teasing.

Trust me, I’m trying to get to you, he thought. Screams broke out just then.

And he felt like he was being whirled away into the barrel of his repressed memories. He started seeing everything in slow motion.

Naruto shouting cramp cramp cramp, an idiot move that got seawater into his nose, and ultimately made him lose his balance. Quick on her feet, Sakura swam into his vicinity with sure, measured strokes of an experienced swimmer. He heard her scream calm down you blonde idiot! and his teammates were able to usher him out of her hold and onto dry land.

But she didn’t manage to follow safely. She was swimming, but her direction kept on going farther away from the shore. She was caught in a riptide. The screams changed from Naruto’s name to her, the intensity and volume of voices getting stronger with every second.

“Sakura!”

“Miss Pres! Someone! Help!”

“Help please!”

Save her, a voice said in his head. “I can’t.”

Her pink hair looked like a blob riding untethered on the arms of the waves. Yet he was rooted to his spot, his memory spilling over like blank ink. Suddenly he can smell the gasoline in the air and the waves lose their sound, replaced by the gasps and shaky breaths of his parents, and the ticking time bomb of an explosion.

He started to hyperventilate as his sight closed in on him. “Sakura, I’m sorry.”

Fast and light footfalls passed by his side, breaking him out of his reverie, and Sasuke’s eyes opened to a coverless book on the sand, its pages fluttering in the wind.

A silver-haired man dove into the surface with no hesitation, briefly disappearing, and emerging again in a few seconds with an unconscious Sakura safe in his arms. Only then did Sasuke run in haste.

“Give us space!” Kakashi yelled with a sliver of anger and panic in his normally laidback voice.

Sasuke would have to content himself seeing the next events play out in between warm bodies, his heart drowning the waves when he realized she wasn’t breathing and Kakashi had to start chest compressions.

Seconds worth of chances and he stood there waiting again.

She still wasn’t responding.

“Come on, Sakura, breathe,” Kakashi pleaded through gritted teeth. When he counted down to thirty, he leaned down and gave her two rescue breaths.

Still no response.

“Dammit Sakura. Don’t die now.”

Another set of thirty compressions. By the fifteenth try, some council members have broken down and started crying.

“Fuck.” Kakashi did another pair of rescue breaths. Then she vomited water.

“Clear the way!”

A group of paramedics came thanks to Hinata’s calm thinking and took the disoriented pinkette from Kakashi’s hold. Sasuke’s eyes trailed after them, her long pink locks swaying in the wind, and landing on Hinata’s fixated gaze on him, like she knew something he didn’t. Or since then has denied.

--------------------------------

Sakura refused Kakashi’s instruction to go home. It was a close call, but she needed to see through a good transition in the student council, and a productive summer training camp for the baseball team.

“I’ll inform your parents then,” Kakashi said with a steely anger in his voice she was unfamiliar with. At whom it was directed she’ll never know.

“Ah, no need, I already called them,” she lied through gritted teeth. He responded with a brow raise but let it go for now.

“Get some rest, Ms. Pres.”

She did just that, holed up in a room for two days with minimal interaction save for her roommate Hinata who basically sidestepped around her in silence.

“How’s everyone?” Sakura asked her on the third day when she was about to scamper off to her observation duty.

“Your boys wanted to see you,” Hinata said. Sakura wondered if there was a tinge of jealousy in that but she saw the Hyuuga daughter as someone who already has all the good things in life. “But I refused entry since Naruto can be quite noisy and Sasuke is easily riled up nowadays.” Including sensitivity for others.

Hinata continued after giving her a plate of peaches and cranberry juice. “Your student council is still devastated, but they changed up their agenda to include a quick first aid training from a virtual trainer. Baseball team is doing quite well, far better than what I first expected….notwithstanding Haru’s absence.”

She noticed the visible change in Hinata’s expression after she uttered his name. “And how are you?”

The beautiful raven-haired looked at her with eyes brimming in tears. Poor girl never had someone to unload her broken heart to.

“I miss him Sakura.”

Sakura bites down on a slice of peach and taps her finger on one of Hinata’s clutched fist. “Do you still talk?”

Hinata shook her head, her fists clutching then unclasping each other in between pauses. “He was the one who ended the whole thing. Called me up for a date and we went to my favorite café, ordered me my favorite drink, and broke the news that he wanted to break up. He wasn’t angry when he said it, he was weary of everything, and I was hurt more by that fact. After I came home, I learned that he blocked me in all his social media accounts.” She took one slice of peach and stuffed it in her mouth, regardless of the tears that streaked her unmarred face. “I wanted to introduce him to Father, you know. Just until after I graduated so I could at least move away first. If he felt so suffocated by my family, how much more it was for me?”

Sakura puckered her lips with a tint of cranberry juice. “I think you’re both cowards.”

Hinata, who probably expected an empathetic response from Sakura, moved her hand away from Sakura and covered her mouth in surprise.

“It’s true,” the pinkette reasoned out. “Haru is a jerk for leaving all the work to you. He knows of your family so he should have stood up for you if he loved you. But you’re at fault too, Hina, because you know you could have introduced him earlier and faced your father’s wrath together. This gives me Romeo and Juliet vibes.”

“They both die in that story, Sakura.”

“Then West Side Story?” Sakura retrieved Hinata’s hand and put her hand over it. “I’m just saying I hope you find someone willing to take on that risk for you but also allowing you to have your agency to choose and act.”

Hinata doesn’t back away from Sakura’s touch. “You’ve always known what to say since we were in junior high.”

“Well of course! It’s because you and Haru are my friends!” She elbowed Hinata jokingly. “So Naruto?”

Blush bloomed on Hinata’s cheeks with a color far too intense to cover up. “Naruto? What about him?”

“It’s because of his strong people charm, isn’t it?” Sakura smiled, no longer looking at Hinata. “And if Haru had that personality, maybe it wouldn’t be difficult for your father to accept him.”

She was greeted with silence which told her that this was the truth, this was the reason why Hinata craved for his sunshine energy, and the reason why she had always wanted to orbit around him.

--------------------------------

Despite the life-threatening incident that marked the beginning of their excursion, the remaining days have fallen into some sort of normalcy and mundanity. Sasuke, more than he would like to admit, found himself spending more time with the mathematics teacher who was on his second coverless book.

“What’s your bet?” Kakashi asked out of the blue. Prior to this, they shared the silence punctuated with cicadas and the occasional crackling of wood in the campfire.

“Erotica,” Sasuke replied nonchalantly, seated across him on a foldable steel chair.

The teacher almost choked on his water. “What if I tell you it’s a classic lit?”

“A classic erotica literature,” Sasuke insisted. “Because if it is as safe as you said it, you’d leave the cover on because bookworms are snobbish like that.”

Kakashi chuckled. “What a brat. It’s a good thing I’m not a snitch for the school board.”

“You’re just implying they don’t pay you enough.”

“You’re really a brat.”

Again, the silence engulfed them, not much different from the night that lulled everyone to sleep. Sasuke kept his hands inside the pockets of his thin jacket, moving away from Kakashi to return to their room. He debated about this with himself for the last two days, wondering if it would be worth it. “You seem like a good guy despite your reading preferences.”

“Excuse me?” Kakashi’s voice was laced with offence.

“Thanks for saving Sakura.” He realized he was too young, too unreliable, like the kid he was once before. It was just he never grew up.

And the week was done, and time was in constant shift. The reshuffling in classes left him alone, but never that much, not when two extroverts came checking on him at every break. The spot behind the library was still their hidden spot, the dragonboat team was still their background music, and the countless scenes on the side of the lake were still their guilty pleasures of what-ifs.

Maybe every last year of every phase in life ended up going so fast. Like how the baseball team sped through the preliminaries to the nationals in one relentless drive. And yet again, he found himself going back to the same café with his favorite cashier who colored her hair pink.

“You like my new hair?” Sakura teased. “Okay hit me, I’m on a 15-minute break.”

“Stop eating my tomato basil salad first.” Sasuke flicked off her encroaching fingers on his bowl. “The team needs funds. In the board’s defense, they prepared for jersey uniforms, travel assistance, and board and lodging.”

“Up until the semis,” Sakura clarified.

“Unfortunately. What’s the council gonna do?”

“I’m not the president anymore, remember?”

Sasuke sipped his cold americano, looking pointedly at Sakura, who deflected his gaze. He tapped the surface of the table, knowing all too well that she will spill something any second now.

“The council is gonna do a fundraising event,” she finally relented.

“Please don’t tell me it’s another pass-the-hat.”

She shook her head, but if she was at all excited, she didn’t show it. “They’re gonna invite student musicians and do a showcase in the mall park.” She shrugged. “Not my idea and not my place to meddle.”

“You know it’ll be a failure, right?” Sasuke asked. “The crowd and the weekend traffic won’t be worth the effort.”

She sighed in agreement. “Well, Kakashi-sensei greenlighted it. They must have a trump card.”

Sasuke was right for the most part. No one paid them attention, not the crying kids, not the parents rushing for the flash market sales, not the aunties catching up with the newest town gossip. The music club was already halfway down to the set, and Sakura was keeping her head low and hidden in her beret in secondhand embarrassment.

“Please tell me it gets better,” Sasuke almost pleaded

She eyed him from head to toe with a smirk. “We could auction you if you want. Girlies at nine o’clock want your number.”

He rolled his onyx orbs but flushed at her insinuation that he was worth looking at today. It wasn’t his expertise to dress up nor did it come to him to actually buy new clothes in the last three years. He just put on an oversized graphic t-shirt over a pair of jeans and called it a day, and Sakura stood there beside him in her 90s fashion silk blouse tucked into black pants with a leather belt, very much unaware of how she stole attention.

“Let’s leave?” he suggested.

Sasuke lost sight of the crowd when she looped her arm in his as they walked away to the first notes of Flightless Bird, American Mouth. It was sudden, probably on impulse, and not much to Sakura’s thoughts, and maybe those were the reasons why he didn’t pull away from the electricity of her touch.

And maybe he should have walked quicker so she wouldn’t have looked back and seen Kakashi on the piano chair, stroking the keys like that of a lover, and his voice crooning everyone to join his atmosphere.

So while she stood there beside him, all dolled up and beautiful from head to toe, with her arm linked with his in the middle of a gathering crowd, she wasn’t entirely his, her heart not swaying in time with his pulse, but beating instead to the pluck of his chords.

Ah so I really was in love with her. A realization too late and another missed chance to offer her his saving grace.

Two songs later and a beaming Kakashi taking pictures with the audience, Sakura finally unlinked her arm from Sasuke’s, and they walked out of the mall under the threat of impending downpour. With hurried steps and foregone conversations, they managed to reach the shelter of a small shed along the bridge connecting the mall to the train station just before the rain ensued.

“Ah I forgot to bring an umbrella. Funny since it was scorching hot earlier.” She put out her fingers outside the cover of the shed, making contact with the drops. “Like it was sudden and inevitable.”

Sasuke kept mum about the umbrella inside his crossbody bag, wanting instead to drown in the rain with her.

“I wish it was that sudden and inevitable too – falling out of love,” she said as she took her wet hand inside for cover. “Because I’m running out of excuses to not fall further more.”

“You haven’t confessed yet,” Sasuke reminded her. “And we all know how that ends in this setup. You can never be together Sakura.”

“I know.” He heard her choke back a sob.

“I wish I could, Sasuke. But my eyes see him and then my mind plays back a dozen frames of him every second. I really wish I could do just that – fall out of love.”

She gave in to her emotions and cried with abandoned resentment and yet he saw her with rose tinted lenses – still beautiful in the woes of a first love heartbreak. His body started to move on its own, his arms hovering around her, an unspoken question of permission to touch her safe space, and she leaned into his embrace, an equally unspoken consent to envelop her in comfort.

They must have been lovers in the eyes of those under the passing umbrellas. His hug tightened at best, absorbing every convulsion in her small frame like it was his sole function.

“Would you like to use me, Sakura?” he whispered like a prayer he uttered under his breath for the rain to continue and give him a little more seconds, a bit more minutes, an illusion of stranded time with her in his arms.

Pools of emerald looked back at him stricken with fear. “It’s not fair. To you. To me.”

His ember irises held steady. “I don’t mind.”

“I do mind.” She cupped his face, soft yet calloused palms that tether him to this reality. “I do mind so I will not let my broken heart steal your chance at first love.”

But the rain has stopped as sudden as it started and she was out of his hold, running for her dear life out of the cover of the shed, through the bridge and into a train line he couldn’t follow.

But you’re my first love.

AO3 LINK | NEXT CHAPTER | CHAPTER 10

#SCPS #student council president sakura #sasusaku #uchiha sasuke #haruno sakura #narusaku #uzumaki naruto #kakasaku #hatake kakashi #hyuuga hinata #anime fanfic #fanfic

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bitchynaruto · 4 years ago

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Hey so I read your post about Sasuke not using the mangekyo (however u spell it) Sharingan bc he knows how it is to be tortured by it but still uses it on sakura. And I’m curious about something.

Idk if you think this but I read somewhere that sakura “forced” Sasuke, by manipulating and/or pressuring him, to be with her and that’s why they’re together and I want to know what you’re thoughts are on it. Sorry I just realized that this is off topic. But for some reason, this “explanation” about the ss communtiy is stuck on me. You don’t have to answer obviously but I’m really curious on what you think about it. Since she kept pressuring him throughout the anime , even during war (which is honestly a wtf moment to me) , and I don’t like how she’s very persistent , when even kakashi tries to back her up -that honestly made me dislike kakashi since he knows that Sasuke isn’t interested in her but yet tries to justify her “love” , whether he says it subconsciously or not in his mind. I am a sns shipper tho, but I wouldn’t like force it ya know? I would’ve been happy too if Sasuke stayed single and focused on therapy for his trauma and all that but I’m hella curious. (Word of the day: curious, lol)

Sorry sorry for the rant again.

OH NO IT’S NOT OFF TOPIC! I mean it’s a logical question to come to lol, but honestly... I kinda agree with the sentiment that Sakura was persistent with Sasuke and that... he’s not in a relationship due to love but out of a sense of guilt and responsibility (that Kakashi and unfortunately Naruto reinforced if I remember right)

But anyway, I do think there was pressure and a bit of guilting for Sasuke to end up with Sakura. I don’t think he’s in love with her, and I think Sakura is aware of it and is in complete denial about it. There are multiple times in the war arc where she acknowledges that Sasuke couldn’t give less of a fuck about her, which is surprising because she KNOWS that considering he almost tried to kill her during the Kage Summit Arc. Flash forward to blank period, where it’s pre much confirmed that Sakura was following Sasuke around doing whatever. It’s confirmed that they conceive Sarada after Nart and Hinata get married (I’m pre sure), and she gives birth in one of Orochimaru’s old hideouts. Like.... if that doesn’t sound suspicious and weird and pushy... Idk.

Flash forward to Boruto, where Sasuke obviously meets up with Nart from time to time, but not his supposed “wife” or child. I say wife in quotes, but there’s like.. no evidence they’re actually married. There’s no wedding pictures, rings... The only picture Sakura has of him in the house is one where he’s wearing his Akatsuki cloak as a teen and her as a full grown adult. (I could go into the implications of this that she’s in love with the idea of Sasuke, instead of Sasuke as a person .. but well, well...) Sarada asks why they’re not a normal family, and asks Sakura if her dad has glasses, and Sakura can’t even remember??? That one simple fact?? Anyway she destroys the house because Sarada is , in my opinion, poking holes in the delusion her mom is invested in. Sasuke’s gone for so long he doesnt even recognize his OWN kid and nearly kills her. And now thats hes around, hes Borutos mentor instead of his own daughter?? Ive kinda made joke posts in the past that Sarada is Sasukes reminder of the situation hes found himself in with Sakura, a physical, breathing reminder of well... his shitty situation. I mean he was essentially guilted by Kakashi and Naruto to be with Sakura considering how much she loved her and all the shit he put her through (which obviously was wrong, he shouldnt have tried to kill her or genjutsu her—no matter how many times ss stans claim he genjutsud her to protect her, i just dont buy it considering his connection with it and how rarely he uses it unless its self defense from itachi—but that doesnt mean hes obligated to “love or be loved by her”). also in boruto sasuke says that the only reason why he and sakura are together is because they have sarada, which pre much explains his headspace regarding his situation with sakura.

anyway, to answer your question, yeah i think there was manipulation, pushiness, and guilt-trippy shit involved in why sasuke eventually ‘got together’ with sakura. i mean, think of it in the reverse genders. i think a lot of people would find the whole situation of how sakura and sasuke ‘got together’ more suspect than it is.. anyway of course thats my opinion!!! i generally agree, and i think sasuke is only with her out of some weird combination of penance (for naruto) and obligation (for sarada)

#long post #answered #MY BAD I WROTE U AN ESSAY #slenderiscoming #i hate and refuse to talk abt boruto for a lot of reasons #but mostly bc it makes me hate sakuras character :l and sasukes (in the sense of him being a bad dad)#along with naruto for being a konoha shill #but its actually a really depressing ending for sasuke #who only wanted a family #but refuses to be apart of his own for whatever reason #(but we know the reason)

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loekas · 5 years ago

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A Wolf

art by @sarcasticbirb

Using chakra to remain undetected from patrols, Kakashi watches through the window as she places breakfast down the table. She's actually humming a tune.

She’s relaxed, in great spirits, and walking in a way that reveals why this is so to all. Well, it reveals it to all with training.

Minato’s son watches her with suspicion.

Naruto is good at reading body language, though he isn’t great at consciously deciphering all he’s picking up on. And he’s never seen her like this. She’s managed to have two nights of fun since the failed first, but one, they didn’t make her reach heights like Kakashi had, and two, Naruto wasn’t woken by what she calls good screams. This is new and that confuses him.

It scares him. Won’t take long for him to decide that her current mood is awesome, but for now, he’s being guided by the part that fears losing - everyone - his mother figure.

Minato’s son no longer fears it enough for most to pick up on it.

“Nee-chan, you’re being weird.”

She thinks he’s being adorable. And hilarious. Normally she wouldn’t react this strongly, but normally she hasn’t had a night like the one he gave. Her tastes in bed are more suited to a long term partner, meaning it’s rare for her to have her wants met so skillfully. What can he say, he aims to please.

She ruffles his hair and the easy affection soothes Minato’s son as always. Makes him believe she won’t leave.

“Am I?” she returns, ever so cheerful. Kakashi is on the lookout for any sign of emotional infatuation, but for now, it seems as though she’s merely basking in the physical.

Naruto’s suspicion is back in full force. This time it’s motivated by confusion only, though.

He looks just like Kushina.

“Yes you are! You’re smiling!”

“What’s so strange about that? The sun is shining, the birds are singing. What’s not to smile about?”

Naruto has no idea what caused this. You’d think he’d be used to that by now.

Minato’s son watches her eat. She’s still humming a tune.

“...Mari-nee. You’re humming.”

Her smile turns into a grin and she hums louder just to mess with him some more. Give it a couple more minutes and Naruto will come to the conclusion that her having fun means great fun for him as well. Then he’ll ask why she’s so happy again. She’ll say something about sleeping really well.

All of his predictions come true. When the two finish breakfast, Kakashi takes his leave. There was no sign of emotional infatuation, which is promising. He’ll pass by the Dancing Dragon later on, when her shift ends. Will let him see what her friends have figured out. Most likely they’ll suspect she slept with someone, but they won’t have confronted her about it yet. Even if they have, they won’t have figured out who her partner was. If there’s no repeat, this fact won’t change. With a repeat, and specifically, with multiple repeats and without outside interference, the odds of them figuring it out before he leaves are about... eighty-five percent.

There’s going to be outside interference. But for now, he has training and catching up to do. He’ll have caught up on the most important things within three days, which is when the lack of action will really start getting to him.

It would be nice to have a new way of working off some of his frustration.

---

To read the rest of the fic, click the link! It’s a story about Kakashi who, during his ANBU days, enters a friends acquaintance with benefits relationship with an original character. This original character is a tiny Naruto’s legal guardian, because baby Naruto deserves all the family and love. So does Kakashi. He doesn’t agree with that of course, but despite his best intentions, he accidentally ends up in a full blown relationship with his booty call. He doesn’t handle it well.

Tags; romance, denial of feelings (I cannot stress the denial enough) and slow burn. The slow burn is of the variety of; they end up banging pretty quick but hooo boy, you’re gonna we waiting a long ass time before either of them realises/admits that they’re in love.

And now, let me gush about the cover art! I commissioned sarcasticbirb for this, and like always, they delivered BEAUTIFULLY. I asked for a pic of Kakashi’s ANBU mask, laying on an empty table and shrouded in darkness. It should feel threatening and lonely. But there’s also a ray of light to show that darkness isn’t all there is to his life...

Read this description, look at this pic, and tell me they didn’t bring that image to life exactly. Seriously, I love this so much. Everything I wanted and more. The more involves just how freaking vibrant this image is. Which is an enormous achievement, seeing as there aren’t a lot of colors involved and most of the pic is covered in darkness.

Sarcasticbirb is an amazing artist and you should definitely check out their blog.

#naruto #fanfic #my writing #hatake kakashi #kakashi x oc

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owlsbride · 4 years ago

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Sakura arrived at her apartment late that night. She was still made a rage with Kakashi. What the hell was he thinking? And that little bitch dress as a lamb, her Sempai, the one she trusted the most, at least at work, Shizune, how dare she talked to the Hokage and request a three weeks recess just because the last week she suffered from a little and perfectly normal pressure drop? It was unspeakable. Sakura felt betrayed by Shizune, surely Tsunade Sama would never do to her something like that. And what about that shit of losing weight? What did Kakashi mean with that? Sakura always has been thin, with right muscles, a body well shape in the correct places thanks to years of training but saying, she was too skinny was way out of the line. It was true that in the last time part of her clothes seemed too big for her, but maybe it was due more to a healthy diet, exercise or who knows what, that something to do with fatigue. No, Kakashi had no idea what he was talking about, and yet he took the liberty of looking her up and down like an endangered specimen and releasing her from her obligations for three weeks just because of a few rumours and a few pounds less. Such a childish, stubborn and insufferable man her Hoka... the Hokage was. Sakura arrived at her apartment late and soaked from head to toes, and she hated it. This hideous storm was strong enough like to last a few long days, and she felt exactly like that: angry, furious, with the ability to unleash a tempest that would ravage the village especially the Hokage Tower for the entire three weeks in which she would not be working. She needed to calm down because right now in her satchel was another problem that she would have to solve, an issue that she got herself into because she couldn't just accept a simple vacation. Sakura knew then that she just needed to stop talking in Kakashi's office, she shouldn't have played with fire and accept her destiny stoically. But no, she had to show interest even if it was for a brief moment in that hideous book, and respond willingly to a challenge which she was sure she couldn't win, just to see a tiny invisible smile full of pride and joy in Kakashi's masked mouth. Sakura was losing her mind, and she knew pretty well who was the culprit. Actually, they were two culprits now: Hatake Kakashi and Icha Icha. After a long shower, a hot meal, and the laundry done Sakura sat in her coach to think how to proceed during these weeks. The infamous book resting on the coffee table was a terrible reminder of what she had just agreed to, but against what she said in that office, she decided not to read it. After all, Sakura was sure that she can give her opinion base in her good judgement about what she already knew about Jiraiya and what people say about his writing, so yes, she was ready to lie a bit.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

The sound of her cellphone vibrating inside the satchel took her out of her content. Sure, Ino was willing and able to talk for a while about her blossoming relationship with Sai.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

Resigned Sakura left her comfortable position of denial and took her phone. However, the message was not what was expected. H. Kakashi: I hope you already chose a book for me, Sakura. Otherwise, you are the only one who is going to have some fun after all.

Unbelievable, this man was unbelievable. She didn't answer.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt H. Kakashi: BTW, did you start reading your homework like the good girl you are?

What was wrong with him? First, this ridiculous idea of the book club, then the book exchange, and those texts. She was annoyed, but deep down inside she was also thrilled, she read the last message again: 'like a good girl.' Was she a good girl? a bad one? Just a girl? He was messing with her, or were they messing with each other instead? She typed her answer nervously and waited almost without breathing his response.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt H. Kakashi: You made me laugh, Sakura. I'll be waiting, the time is ticking and three weeks is not that much. Good read and good dreams.

For Sakura, three weeks were a lot, but now she felt a little more content. She gave him a vague answer, hi didn't ask much and now she was in front of the endeavour to find him a good book to read. A book, of course, that can cause to him, not only a significant amount of pain in the ass but also tons of hours and hours of boredom. So with that thought in mind, she began to browse her library. She ran her fingers down the spines of all the books she had inherited from her father, an avid reader who had always preferred reading inside the house than spending time in the open air. Sakura still couldn't know where her passion for the ninja path came from. Even today her father, month after month, as a gift every time he visited her, left a new book on the coffee table that Sakura quickly placed in the library where they have to wait to be read when she had time. Not that she had never read any, on the contrary, only that now she found fewer and fewer opportunities to do so due to work. Ironically, now that her vacation was beginning, instead of reading her father's books, she was condemned to read Icha Icha, the book with the most dubious reputation that could exist. She turned back to the shelves. She found Don Quixote, the right choice, Cervantes tale of the deranged gentleman who turns knight-errant, tilts at windmills and battles with sheep in the service of the lady of his dreams, Dulcinea del Toboso. Yes, a great story about chivalry, romance, and why not, also madness. But as soon as Sakura thought this one was a perfect choice, she realized that it could amaze Kakashi, after all, is the story of a warrior, crazy or not. Her second choice was not other than the Ulysses, yes, James Joyce was the correct one. Then again, a masterpiece or not, it was a mundane story, speaking of everyday things, written in the most intricate and witty way, which would definitely catch Kakashi's attention from the first sentence. This was hard. Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose, why couldn't she find the perfect book to annoyed the always proud, infuriating, and sometimes unreachable Hatake Kakashi? And just like that an idea stroke her. She took the book in her hands, she caressed it with devotion. Sakura loved Pride and Prejudice, it had been the book that had accompanied her throughout her adolescence and adulthood. Pride and Prejudice had taught her what was expected of a woman but also what was not. Everything that love meant, and how she had to look for it and that sometimes a word was worth more than a thousand acts. Pride and Prejudice was her bedside book, it had taught her the balance between one and the other, and although sometimes she did not know which way she leaned the most, she always knew that she acted knowing the consequences of each act. Sakura had the possibility of imagining that she could be Elizabeth, but she could also be Mr Darcy, which filled her completely. Sakura was the one who decided about her life, her ways and her actions, without forgetting that one day, she would indeed find a suitable love around the corner, no matter how difficult things got. She took the book in her hands and had to make a decision: would she buy a new copy for the Hokage or would she hand him hers, filled with footnotes, personal annotations, and underlined sentences? Would she allow Kakashi to catch glimpses of her thoughts and feelings? Sakura directed her gaze to the orange book on the coffee table. Icha Icha belonged to Kakashi, and he had offered it to her unceremoniously, without suspicion, and only God knows what things he had done with it, but far from feeling disgusted about it, Sakura felt that Kakashi gave her part of his being, part of who he was, and part of his most intrinsic thoughts, and coming from him, it was something to value. Finally, Sakura decided to give Kakashi her own copy. The Hokage would have in his office the book chosen for the challenge by the next morning, the game would start tomorrow.

Kakashi entered his office earlier than usual, something that he could not identify had caused him to get up earlier than expected, and instead of wandering the streets of Konoha under such a terrible storm, he headed straight for the Hokage tower. On his desk, a package wrapped in red paper was waiting for him with a small sign that was clearly not one of the reminders that Shikamaru used to leave him. It merely said: 'Will you be. Darcy or Mr Wikham?' Kakashi couldn't help but smile, now Sakura had him captivated.

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rosaline-kei · 5 years ago

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Under My Wing - Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Boruto/Naruto nor the characters.

Fandom: Boruto: Naruto Next Generation.

Parts: 「1」 ,「2」, 「3」

Chapter 2′s Title: It Rises.

Synopsis: After her father had taken up Boruto as his student, Sarada began to feel a little... at a loss. Sure, Sasuke still teaches her some things, like how he taught her that Fireball Jutsu. But unlike to Boruto, he isn't her fulltime mentor. And now, she doesn't know who to turn for guidance in mastering her Sharingan. That is, until the Sixth Hokage came along. (Might contain Manga Spoilers)

Rated: T

Pairings (To note: Romance isn’t the main focus, though. But there will be pairing moments, just not a huge lot): Boruto Uzumaki/Sarada Uchiha , Sakura Haruno/Sasuke Uchiha , Naruto Uzumaki/Hinata Hyuga

Read it also on / Leave a Review at:

Ao3 or FF net

Author’s Note (READ AFTER READING CHAPTER): The original Author’s notes is damn long, so if you want, read the full thing on my ao3/ffnet accounts. A summary of it is that i found it hard to write, and i hope i don’t mess up lol.

Please Leave A Review (either here or the above stated fanfic sites!)! Constructive Criticism would be Appreciated :)

Also if any of y'all are wondering about the Chapter's title (it rises), it can be seen as Sarada's past curiosity rising or the rise (start) of the relationship between Kakashi and Sarada, the rise of troubles, the rise of the resolve in regards to Sarada's dissatisfaction etc etc

It was a few days ago when Sarada had confided in her mother about some of the things that had been bothering her. Although, upon Sasuke's return from another one of his investigation related missions, that conversation regarding her troubles was discontinued as of now. Instead, a new conversation took place at their dining table as they ate dinner together. It was a normal family talk involving catching up with recent events. But it didn't touch on Sarada's present troubles. And whenever the young Uchiha felt like the topic was about to shift anywhere near to her personal emotions, she'd swiftly find a way to change it.

Soon enough with the day coming to an end, Sarada went to bed albeit earlier than usual. Her excuse was because she felt exhausted after running some errands that day (even though, in reality that wasn't the case). The real reason however, was because she wanted to avoid continuing the earlier conversation she had with her mother should she bring it up again. And now that Sasuke was back at home, she especially didn't want to talk about it anymore since it did involve him.

She… just didn't want to be a bother to both her dear parents.

…

"Did something happen with Sarada?" was the first thing Sasuke had asked when he was sure that Sarada was asleep and when he was alone with Sakura, sitting next to her on their bed.

So he had noticed. Sakura thought. "What makes you say that?" She asked back.

"When I came back home and took a glance at her while she was still sitting on the couch, she looked a little… sad." Sasuke didn't know how else to put it. "But then she changed her expression into something more… cheerful when she then went forward to welcome me home. And she's just… acting a bit different. Did she get into trouble…?"

"No, she didn't get into trouble." Sakura assured. "She's just… feeling a little left behind."

"'Left behind'?" Sasuke tilted his head slightly. In his eyes, Sarada was a strong and intelligent girl who possessed many talents. So he didn't really understand what she meant by 'left behind'.

That's when Sakura began to elaborate further. She told him the things Sarada had told her. She told him about the dissatisfaction she had of the fact that despite all her hard work in the two years ever since she awakened her Sharingan, there was still only one tomoe in both her eyes. She also told him the things that Sarada didn't say out loud. It was just as Sarada had expected—that even if she didn't convey all her worries verbally, her mother could almost always read her and see through her.

"I think she just envies the fact that you're Boruto's sensei, and that he is your pupil." Sakura said, "I don't know when this envy started. It didn't always seem to be like that. She was genuinely happy for Boruto in the beginning when you did take him in as your pupil after all. But maybe when her Sharingan wasn't evolving as fast as she had anticipated, she must have felt left behind when she saw her other teammates' progress. And then, envious that the only experienced and skilled Sharingan user known to her took in a non-Sharingan user as his pupil and disciple. I understand that you still do teach her new Jutsus from time to time, but there is a big difference, you know, between training someone occasionally, and taking in someone as your personal pupil."

Sasuke bit his lip slightly as he felt a familiar feeling rising within him as Sakura explained Sarada's troubles. Guilt. "So, I'm the one who made her have that look earlier…" He muttered to himself.

Sakura sighed softly, before her hand reached out for his, gripping it reassuringly. "Don't worry. I don't think she resents you for it. She could never truly resent you." She soothed, as if seeing through his own worries. "But, you have a reason for taking in Boruto, and not her, right?"

Sasuke's eyes trailed towards her hand which gripped his, before shifting it to entwine it with hers as he nodded. "Yeah."

He had told Sakura the reason before, but decided to reiterate it anyway. "Sarada's already strong. I am certain if she trains under Konohamaru for a while more, her Sharingan is bound to develop soon enough. Moreover, I have no doubt that Sarada is a smart girl. She already has a proper goal in mind, she is quick-witted, rational and more than anything, unlike that Boruto, she is mature."

Sasuke definitely had faith in his daughter. "She's already on the right path… I don't know how else I can guide her aside from teaching her some Jutsus every now and then…" Although, now that he thought of it, he realised that recently she hadn't really asked him to teach her any new Jutsus whenever he was around in the village. It had also been a while since he last taught her something new. At first, he assumed it was because she had been focusing on honing other skills that were taught by Konohamaru instead. But now that Sakura brought this up, he didn't think that that was the case anymore. After all, there must have been a reason why Sarada hadn't consulted him about this—about her Sharingan at all, right? There must have been a reason why she hadn't ask him to teach her anything new for quite a while now, right? Was it because she didn't want to be a bother? Because she didn't want to be annoying?

Sasuke could only wonder how long she had been feeling this way.

"Then there's that loser's son," He continued, sighing quietly, "He first asked for my mentorship because he wanted to find out Naruto's weakness. That isn't a goal nor the mind-set a Ninja should have. Boruto has the potential to be a great Ninja if I manage to change that immature thinking of his and his immature ways. Gradually, he's realising the path he should take as a Ninja, the one that involves not finding out Naruto's weakness for the sake of pummelling him. He's also beginning to see the other sides of Naruto and not just the one that he used to want to really pummel."

Sakura listened to him intently. When he finished speaking, she gave her response. "Mm… I can agree with you to a certain extent." She spoke, "But, you know, try to see a little from Sarada's perspective. Two years of training and going on missions, and her Sharingan is still yet to develop a second tomoe in both her eyes. Whereas in that span of two years, her two other teammates are showing clear development of their respective gifted abilities. For example, from what I heard, there's Mitsuki's getting better at handling his Senjutsu—his Sage Mode, and aside from Boruto's improvement with his Rasengan, there's also the recent discovery of his Jougan which is bound to boost his strength once there is more knowledge garnered about it."

When Sakura was done talking, Sasuke undeniably had a lot of things to say, and had felt a lot of things as well— all of which, he was unable to articulate and describe. He wasn't good with words.

After a short pause, he managed to ask, "What should I do?" His eyes then shifted its gaze to Sakura's green hues. He looked troubled and was at a loss of what to do now after discovering his daughter's worries. There were still many things he wanted to say and ask for her advice, but he found it difficult to convey it to proper words. And when he finally managed to voice out one of those thoughts, he found it to sound harsh and terrible.

"I can't be her sensei."

He didn't mean for it to be harsh and terrible, though. He had his reasons and Sakura knew that. So she didn't ask him why. He had said enough and she had understood enough, even if he didn't say all the other things in his mind out loud. She could tell what he wanted to say and what he meant just from the way he had spoken, the expressions he made as he did, and the way he'd look at her as he talked. "If that is what you think, then there is no helping it." She said, and she didn't sound upset nor disappointed with his choice which did catch him a little off guard. He sometimes wondered if he deserved someone like her, someone who was able to understand what he really meant, even if he couldn't word it out properly.

"I have a suggestion." She offered softly, with a gentle and assuring smile. "I could ask Kakashi to be her sensei instead."

His eyes widened as he heard her suggestion, he didn't expect that. Kakashi?

It didn't seem like a bad suggestion and idea, though.

Back in the present, Sarada—who had just found out that Kakashi was going to be her personal mentor, her sensei—was still undergoing the stages of denial.

"Did… I hear you wrongly? What do you mean by sensei? And why me?"

"No, you didn't hear anything wrongly, starting from today, I'm going to be your personal mentor." Kakashi reiterated, finding her denial quite amusing.

"But why me?" She repeated, still in disbelief. "Moreover, you're the Sixth Hokage… I don't want to unnecessarily make your schedule busier than it probably already is."

Truly, Sarada was a considerate girl. Sakura wasn't wrong about that. "I heard from someone that you're having issues with mastering your Sharingan," Kakashi started. And already, Sarada knew who that someonewas—her mother. Of course she would be able to read her worries and troubles like an open book. There was no running away from Sakura's discerning eyes when it came to her beloved daughter. Though now, she wondered if she had told her father about her unspoken thoughts and troubles. She'd rather have him not know about her own dissatisfaction about her abilities, her eyes… herself.

After all, Sasuke was already busy with his responsibilities as the Shadow Hokage for The Hidden Leaf Village—Konoha—not to mention, he was also Boruto's mentor. And in addition all that, he still had the duties of a father and husband. The last thing she wanted was to be a bother to him, or worse, be a pest to him so she kept her mouth shut. He already had enough on his shoulders.

"Also, I'm not the current Hokage anymore. Fortunately enough, unlike Naruto who's the Seventh, I don't have to deal with mountains and mountains of paperwork so often anymore." Kakashi spoke, a light-hearted laugh following after. "And although as the Sixth Hokage, I still have responsibilities from time to time, I'm not as busy as before. So rest assured, Sarada. As for your other question of 'why me', Well…" He trailed off, thinking of the best way to say out his reasoning. Although, in the end he only shrugged and said, "I just want to."

Sarada blinked her eyes in response. Eh?

The white haired male then turned away, beginning to walk off to another direction as he signalled for Sarada to follow. "Let's go to a more open space. I'd like to get a closer view of your current strengths and weaknesses."

"W-Wait!" The young Uchiha called out, she still had too many unanswered questions about the entire situation. Though there was one in particular that bothered her a bit more than the others. "Why you?"

In that instant, Kakashi turned back, causing Sarada to instantly flinch despite the fact he wasn't exactly glaring at her even after she had asked something seemingly rude. Her hands immediately went up, waving in defence. "I-It's not that I'm underestimating you or anything like that! It's just…if I want to improve my Sharingan… then shouldn't—"

"I was a Sharingan user." He said, cutting her off. And from his sudden serious tone that had risen and overtaken his earlier light-hearted one, the raven knew that he wasn't joking or lying to make her more accepting of him as her new sensei.

Kakashi took note of the shock and surprise that Sarada expressed once those words left his lips. It seemed like after the previous war, his famed nickname of 'Kakashi of the Sharingan' had died out overtime since he no longer had the Sharingan. So it wasn't a surprise to him when someone of the new generation, that being Sarada, found this fact to be something new. Moreover, there was also some history about the previous war and other sort of things that had been censored and kept hidden to the new generation and pretty much the public eye. For example, the full history of the Uchiha Clan was limited to the public.

They had their reasons for hiding certain bits of history, one of them being that they didn't want to incite anymore hatred. Admittedly, as time went by and as Sasuke atoned for his sins, most people no longer despised him for the deeds he had done in his corrupted past. But there was still a minority of people who didn't think that way, though they didn't lash out nor cause chaos due to the respect they had for Naruto who only wished for and wanted peace.

There were times where Kakashi wondered if keeping such things away from the new generation was an overall good decision, though.

Shrugging those thoughts away, he resumed his walk, expecting her to follow and expecting to receive an infinite bombardment of questions from her soon enough.

It had been an hour since Kakashi revealed to Sarada that he was an ex-Sharingan user, and her questions were still yet to be answered.

"I will answer your questions after you demonstrate your current skills." That was his first answer to her several questions that she had listed out and bombarded him with during their walk to a more spacious training ground.

So within that hour, she had showcased her abilities in all the Jutsus she had learned and copied from. And by the time she had to display her skills in Kunai throwing, her lack of concentration was becoming more apparent to Kakashi when she missed the bullseye by a long-shot on her first throw.

It wasn't like Sarada to show a lack of concentration. But after she had found out that Kakashi used to have a Sharingan, too many thoughts began to cloud her mind. She was distracted and it was clear to Kakashi that whatever she was currently displaying to him most likely wasn't her at her best.

Maybe I should have told her that after I had assessed her. He thought with a sigh as he watched her miss another target. Regardless, as a Ninja she shouldn't lose concentration over any news, whether it be shocking or not… I can't blame her too much, though. But if this had been in a battlefield…

"Sarada." Kakashi called out to her before she could throw another Kunai (and maybe even missing the target again), though in a stern way which was enough to make her flinch. "Focus. In a real battle, you can't lose concentration when your opponent tells you something shocking or disturbing. You will lose if you do."

"Y-Yes… sorry." She muttered. She felt frustrated with herself, she really did. Here she was, having the honour to be the Sixth Hokage's personal pupil and yet she was making a fool of herself in front of him right now.

She knew she should put aside the questions and other things that were currently pestering her after Kakashi said that he used to have the Sharingan. But she couldn't.

There was so little she really knew about the Uchiha Clan. Her knowledge of the Uchiha Clan was as limited as the book she read about it in the library a long time back. And now, today, she found out that a non-Uchiha had the Sharingan.

She was confused. And some thoughts of the past came barging in, distracting her.

There was a time when her curiosity about the Uchiha Clan had surfaced again. But when she asked her parents, her father especially, they always seemed to avoid the subject.

"That's something your Papa should tell you, Sarada." Her mother would say.

"I'll tell you another time, when you're older." Her Papa would say.

She tried to be understanding about it. But as time went by, she grew impatient. And in the end, she realised she didn't understand at all.

Alongside Team 7, she had saved several lives, she faced and fought threats to Konoha and she had survived deathly fights with those threats. And yet, she wasn't old enough to know the history of her own clan?

She didn't get it. Was there something to hide? What was so bad about her clan's history to the extent that not only the book at the library was restricted from telling her, but even her own parents were just as restricted as that book in telling her anything?

And as time went by, the only thing she found out was that her father in particular, didn't seem like he really wanted to touch on that subject. At least not now. He was always… hesitant.

She didn't want to start an argument with him. So in the end, she stopped asking. But now with the new knowledge of the fact Kakashi had the Sharingan, she wondered if those questions would now be answered. If he was willing to share that he once had the Sharingan then maybe he'd also be willing to share the other things pertaining to the Sharingan and maybe some information about her clan… right?

But then again, deep down she already knew that was… unlikely. After all…

"Stop thinking." She uttered to herself, cutting her own thoughts off as she tightly gripped onto her Kunai. "Now isn't the time to falter."

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes as she tried to calm herself. "Focus… focus…" She whispered quietly to herself before she opened her eyes, proceeding to throw her Kunai towards the target with great force and as much precision she could muster—but alas, it missed the bullseye… by only a millimetre.

Damn it. She cursed in her mind, her fist clenching. Even something this simple, I…

"Sarada." Kakashi called out to her again, making her flinch again. She turned towards him, expecting to see a disappointed or stern expression which would be followed up by him saying he didn't want to mentor her anymore. She expected the worst, but that wasn't what she met with.

"Come here." He said in a calm tone as he signalled her over. And as instructed she walked over, albeit nervously. "Sit." He added as he took a seat down on one of the large logs lying about. "You're not in trouble, don't worry." And it seemed like he noticed her nervousness.

How could she not be nervous? She was in the presence of the Sixth Hokage, who she just so happened to have messed up in front in the simplest form of training. Granted, she had met and spent time with Kakashi before when she was younger—but that was only as an Uncle. His presence as an Uncle was… light-hearted, there was nothing to be scared of from his aura. However, ever since after the announcement of him becoming her sensei and during the assessment of her abilities… she felt something different from him.

No longer was she in the presence of Uncle Kakashi, but instead she was in the presence of not only the Sixth Hokage, but also a highly-trained Ninja who was well-respected in the Ninja world. And the current aura of his that she felt was anything but light-hearted. She didn't know how to describe it other than the fact it was overwhelming. The last time she ever felt this overwhelming aura and even strength from him was probably back at the Academy, when he was the overseer for one of their exams.

She took a seat next to him. "I'm sorry I got distracted." She muttered, already recognizing her mistake. Kakashi took a brief glimpse at her, noticing the disappointment written all over her face. "As long as you correct it, it's fine." He replied.

A small gust of wind blew by as silence slowly diffused into the air. Though before it had the chance to make the atmosphere any more tense and nerve-racking, Kakashi broke the silence. "An old friend of mine gave me his Sharingan." He started as he looked up to the sky while Sarada turned her attention towards him. "He was an Uchiha, of course. And my teammate back during my younger days. Some things happened during one of our missions which had resulted in what I thought was his early death, and then before he 'passed', he entrusted his Sharingan to me."

Even though Kakashi's tone had the same calm in it as he spoke about his past, Sarada could feel the sorrow and grief he had as he talked about his old friend. "But as you know I don't have the Sharingan anymore." Kakashi continued when she didn't respond. "It's a long story. But in short, I returned it back to him after everything. He's no longer around anymore."

"Oh… I… I'm sorry for your loss." Sarada muttered, in a sympathetic way. "I didn't think—"

"It's fine." He assured.

His words had answered some questions of hers, but it had also left her with more. Like, if that friend of his didn't pass away in the beginning, why didn't he take back his Sharingan sooner? What did Kakashi mean by 'long story'? What did he mean by 'after everything'? What was 'everything'? Did it have something to do with the previous war or… was it something more?

What happened? Sarada pondered.

And as if he read her mind, he continued. "That's all I can say right now." Kakashi said, internally reminding himself not to speak too much of the past—not to expose too much of the Uchiha clan. It wasn't his story to tell, right?

"In time, you'll understand everything." He added on, and he had hoped that'd be the case. She shouldn't be kept in the dark for too long, after all.

I'll tell you another time, when you're older.

In time, you'll understand everything.

Those words were practically the same, and it annoyed her. From something sympathetic, her expression shifted to something troubled. How much longer would she have to wait?

"What's with that expression of yours?" Kakashi asked, noticing her sudden change in emotion.

"It's nothing." She lied. It's everything—that was the real truth.

"Really now?" Kakashi offered a light-hearted laugh. He didn't believe her a single bit. He had enough experience in his life to know that that wasn't the truth. But at the same time, he also didn't expect her to open up to him immediately. He had only just become her sensei after all. But as her sensei now, he had to reach out if he wanted to build trust and form a connection with his new student. "You don't have to open up to me immediately, Sarada. But if you do, I won't tell your parents if that's what you wish." And Kakashi wasn't lying when he said that. He didn't mind keeping some secrets. He wanted to build trust. Although, if one of the secrets Sarada told him for some reason was something as extreme as her wanting to start some war, he would have to go back on his word about not telling her parents. But that was unlikely. The slightest thought of that just happening seemed like a badly written joke.

Sarada briefly debated if she should tell him some of her troubles—troubles that she hadn't even told her parents directly, because she didn't want to burden them. She could sense Kakashi's genuineness and was certain he wasn't lying when he said he wouldn't tell her parents. And apart from the overwhelming presence and aura she had felt from him as the Sixth Hokage and skilled Ninja, there was also something comforting about him—reassuring, even. It wouldn't hurt to tell him some things, right? She thought to herself. I… don't know who else I can talk to about these things.

"I just wish that my father would tell me about the Uchiha clan, and his past. He doesn't seem very open to telling it, and I don't know why. I want to know why. He's… always hesitant. And at that time, I didn't want to start an argument with him over something like that. So I eventually ignored and tried to bury away any remaining curiosity I had left. But now after what you just told me about the Sharingan, it reopened that curiosity… just a little. And I know I'm getting my hopes up unreasonably high when I think you'd tell me more about my clan…" Sarada started, letting the vulnerable side overtake her in that moment as she decided to give him some of her trust. "Because in the end, as much as you've already opened up a little about yourself in regards to the Sharingan you once had, I already know that you won't answer too many of my questions about my father or the Uchiha Clan explicitly and directly. It's… because you respect him and you believe that it is something he should tell me, right?"

Kakashi was impressed by how sharp she was to already know the reason why he wouldn't tell her too much about the Uchiha Clan's history. He made a mental note to himself to be a little more cautious around her. "I'm surprised you'd already be aware of that much." His words were meant as a small compliment towards her sharpness, but she only shook her head in response. It wasn't because of her sharpness that she knew that much. "It's nothing worth a compliment." She sighed softly and offered a weak laugh, "I only know this because my mother is the same."

That's something your Papa should tell you, Sarada. Those words began to echo in her head.

There was a brief pause between the two's conversation. Sarada was reflecting on certain things while Kakashi thought back about his conversation with Sakura before.

"I can't believe you're making me come out from my retirement as a sensei, Sakura." He had groaned. "But you do realise," He continued, his tone gone solemn, "If I become her sensei, her finding out about Sasuke's past as well as the tragedies of the Uchiha Clan might inadvertently happen sooner than planned." Kakashi had said, knowing that Sarada for the most part, was still kept in the dark.

Of course Sakura had been aware of this. Sarada had to know that Kakashi was a Sharingan user if she was to fully accept him as her personal mentor and let him help her with her Sharingan. It was inevitable for her to know that much. And because she'll know he was a Sharingan user, her curiosity that she had buried in the past, would arise again. "I know." Sakura sighed.

"… I don't mean to pry," Kakashi spoke, "But among this generation's Ninja, Sarada is one of the most mature. It wouldn't hurt to let her know some things, if not, she might end up finding out about it the hard way."

Sakura's eyes only softened in a sorrowful way. "That is true." She agreed quietly, "But we're all afraid of something, aren't we?"

Kakashi knew she wasn't solely referring to herself, but Sasuke too. It didn't take a genius to understand what Sakura meant and what he was afraid of.

If a daughter found out that her father was once the most wanted criminal in Konoha, how would she feel? And what would be the worst that can happen after the reveal?

Admittedly, times have changed, so has Sasuke who now acted as the Shadow Hokage, protecting the village when Naruto couldn't. But again, there will always be that minority who thought otherwise.

On a different note, whatever the case might be, he knew that at the end of the day it wasn't his story to tell. He was just her sensei. He was just supposed to help guide her, improve her strengths, diminish her weaknesses, shape her into a better Shinobi and maybe even provide some assistance to her walk towards the path of becoming the Hokage. He wasn't supposed to be a ladle and stir up drama and chaos within the Uchiha Household.

"Kakashi-sensei." Sarada called out, snapping him out of his thoughts. It was the first time she had addressed him as her sensei, and yet she sounded unsure and maybe even still a little in disbelief. She turned towards him as she asked again, "Why did you decide to become my sensei?"

Before Kakashi had the chance to respond, Sarada continued to elaborate. "You could've said no. You had no obligation whatsoever even if you were a Sharingan user. I don't understand why you'd come out of your retirement for the sake of helping me with my own Sharingan."

Her disbelief and denial was truly amusing. Was it so hard to believe an old man like himself would come out of retirement?

"Well, I don't think I would've been able to say 'no' either way." He replied without thinking all too much. "You want to improve. You make an effort to improve. What kind of Hokage, Ninja, Uncle or even person would I be if I didn't help someone as earnest as you? Especially when I know I have the experience and knowledge to help you grow your strengths, and perhaps grow as a Ninja. Moreover, I'd rather not see an immense amount of potential go to waste for someone as earnest as you. In short, I just want to."

Sarada was at a loss for words by the time Kakashi finished explaining himself. She felt touched. And in that moment, she felt the troubles that had been weighing on her mind disappear for a fleeting moment. It was just nice to hear compliments as genuine as his in regards to her abilities, especially when she had been feeling left behind recently.

"Now then." Kakashi said as he stood up, stretching his arms as he walked towards the spacious training ground. "It's still early. And there's one last thing I want to assess you on now that I know your mind has been cleared a bit."

Sarada quickly stood up after. "S-Sure…" She stuttered, "What is it…?"

"It's nothing too difficult. It's to help me get a closer assessment of your current skills." He had said, and as he got into a fighting stance, Sarada could've guessed what it was, but she didn't think for it to be true until he told her. "It's combat. Treat me as the enemy, and don't hold back."

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saikagerights · 5 years ago

Text

A New Possession- Entry #4

Good evening Saiino nation!

I have the 4th entry right here, which is a lead up to The Last Movie. Although Sai is in a decent amount of content in the novels that came out in the blank period, Sai's overall contribution in The Last was basically grunt work.

HOWEVER

There is one line that he says that is very telling about his character at the time and what I would be considered a turning point in his character.

So here we go!

(Also shoutout to my boyfriend for pointing out a line in the original draft that needed work and ended up turning into what I consider to be the best part of this entry)

Also on AO3

December 5th

I find it very difficult to talk to Naruto nowadays.

We interact fine enough during missions. But since my operative work with Kakashi began, even that has diminished. My work is primarily investigative, something Naruto has never been skilled with.

My failure to reach him is not due to my new position. It is actually due to the flock of girls that constantly surround him. Every attempt I’ve made to speak to him during my days in the village have resulted in him being stolen away once more by them.

Their behavior is akin to a pack of predatory animals, stalking their prey before striking him right when most vulnerable. This would normally be considered a good thing for young kunoichi, but this is more petulant than praise-worthy. I’ve read that this is common for females, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen something like this. Naruto has, and I know this because he once explained that during their childhood, Sasuke had attracted a group of girls that all vied for his affection. He also insisted despite Sakura's denial that she was one of his most avid “fans” alongside Ino.

I guess this is as good a time as any to properly describe Naruto.

Naruto can best be described as an idiot, but in a good way. He judges people for their character, rather than the preconceived notions of others. You could always be sure that if Naruto respects you, he will fight to the ends of the Earth for you. This is why I view Naruto as my closest friend and ally. He was the person who opened my eyes towards rediscovering bonds after my brother’s death, making a life beyond my life’s mission truly attainable. Although I’m still not entirely sure how I really feel about Sasuke-kun, I’m truly glad that Naruto was able to get through to him and raise him from his pit of selfishness that was disguised as righteousness.

Although our bond began with distrust and indifference, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I’m not too sure how to feel about it. I don’t think I’m angry. I’ve experienced anger plenty of times before. In fact, anger is my most familiar emotion. Anger at Sauske-kun for the way he treated Naruto and Sakura. Anger at those wicked Akatsuki for manipulating the reanimated corpse of my brother.

Anger at myself for not being able to understand anything...

I guess mild irritation would best describe my current predicament. Am I jealous? Jealous of Naurto for being popular with people of the opposite sex? Although books say that men enjoy this kind of thing, I don’t think I would enjoy being swarmed with people of either sex if I’m honest. Or maybe I’m interpreting this information wrong. Am I instead envious of these young girls taking my time away from someone I consider important to me? Maybe it’s because Naruto's newfound fame is built purely on his actions rather than his own person, who has dealt with more struggle than any outsider could ever understand.

I think I might be feeling a little too much over this right now, as in these encounters I’ve never heard Naruto boast, complain, or even compare them to Sasuke’s former entourage. I’m not completely sure if he is being courteous or just plain clueless.

I will admit that there are times in which the strong emotions overtake me leave me overwhelmed and unable to feel at all. In times like these I feel the need to disconnect and be comforted by the isolation that I’m so accustomed to.

I can tell I’m making progress in my goal, but sometimes it’s just too much to handle. ________________________________________________________________

This chapter I will admit was kind of difficult to write if I'm honest. This is because it had something that I felt needed to be resolved in the entry after it, which ended up being nearly the same amount of words as the first entry. But I'm glad I wrote it because we are closing in on the turning point I mentioned. I'm also posting these on the same day just because of how short the next entry is.

So until we meet again,

-Saikage

#Sai Journal #saiino #sai yamanaka #si fanfic

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evartandadam · 6 years ago

Note

Hello! I’ve read some of your analysis on the akatsuki and i really love how in depth you go into their characters! It really makes me appreciate them more! So that’s why I wanted to ask (sorry if you answered something like this already) but who out of the akatsuki do you think is the most mentally unstable/stable and who is more mentally guarded and who isn’t?

What a great question! I will take mental stability to mean lack of turbulence and a ground on reality.

Mentally Unstable:

1) Obito

Obito is definitely the most mentally unstable. It is never made clear what Obito’s issues actually are- How much of him was Madara and Tobi, and how much was himself?

Tobi is never really addressed much, but I assume it’s a result of the White Zetsu in his body. Tobi is a very goofy personality, and if Obito was even partially in control of himself during this time, he has a disorder.

Practically mult-personality disorder, except he remembers everything he does as both Madara and Tobi. So it’s more like he gets wayyyy too invested in pretending to be what’s he’s not. I mean, the personality shifts are crazy.

I really wish more was explained with Obito’s mental state, because it was very interesting and not much was done :/ But there is definitely something wrong. Obito has some serious issues with accepting reality, and doesn’t cope with trauma AT ALL. Therefore, I think he is the most mentally unstable.

Also, Obito really didn’t have the emotional capacity to be a ninja in war (especially at that age). A perfect contrast to Kakashi, who is great at handling trauma and moving past it, Obito simply could not handle trauma this well. This is fine- it’s doesn’t make him wrong or a bad person. It’s like when Might Guy tried to join the Anbu to be there for Kakashi- it didn’t suit him at all. And Gai is awesome! But some jobs go against a person’s sensibilities, and I don’t think Obito had the mental and emotional constitution to deal with war trauma. This is shown in how Kakashi and Obito deal with Rin’s death. Kakashi holds steady with his core beliefs, but Obito totally loses it. This is because they are different, and have different reactions. Anyway, my point is that Obito was less suited to being in a war as a kid than Kakashi, but he was put into this situation anyway, and it really screwed him up. Like, really bad. I don’t think I need to really make my case here, I think everyone can agree Obito is a little… excessive.

2) Sasori

This guy replaced people with puppets to give him the love he desires. He takes people apart and makes them into puppets. Classic sociopath, but extra screwed up because of the added puppet aspect. Sasori can come across as very normal in conversation, due to his intellect, but he is living a lie. Obsessed with death and collecting people… We can all agree he is messed up. And I have written a lot on him! Here and here are some rants!

3) Nagato

Nagato can be tied with Sasori. Nagato has a full on god complex. He completely goes berserk after Yahiko’s death. You can basically pin point the second he snaps. Nagato uses his best friend’s corpse to walk and talk in, and… that’s not something a stable person would do. It is likely a strange way of “honoring” him, keeping him involved in their plans. But he is not considerate of Konan, who has to watch her lover’s corpse move around everyday, animated by her best friend.

Nagato believes he is better than everyone else- he knows best. And he has no problem mowing through innocents right and left to obtain his goals. He is an extreme person, and takes things way too far, much like Obito. He is a narcissist- and is therefore manipulated by Obito with ease. This dude is seriously unhinged.

4) Hidan

Hidan is mentally unstable but doesn’t think he is. To be what he is, he has to be a little off. People who join cults are vulnerable and looking for a place to belong- Hidan was this type of person. Hidan values strength over all else, and blindly accepted whatever this cult had to offer him. So he’s not the most mentally stable person. But he is very sure in himself, and is not turbulent in any sense. He has a very consistent, stable persona. So he’s not nearly as unstable as Obito. And he isn’t in denial about death, so he doesn’t live in rationalization like Sasori.

Stable:

Itachi, Kisame, and Konan are pretty mentally stable. They are consistent in the way they think and know how the world works. Deidara has bursts of crazy ideas, but part of that could be contributed to his age. Deidara still blends in with “normal” people (watch Naruto SD and see how cute he is with Team Gai). Kakuzu is also pretty stable, other than his anger issues. All of these characters would fit into a semi-normal category. You by how they interact with others. They are capable of reading others, and responding accordingly. (Sasori can interact with others well if he makes an effort but it doesn’t come naturally to him. Same with Hidan, who oversteps boundaries).

Emotionally Guarded:

As for who is the most emotionally guarded, that would be Konan, Itachi, Sasori and Kakuzu. (in no particular order)

1) Konan

Konan is all about obliterating her emotions and protecting herself from others. Konan lives with guilt from a traumatic past, and to cope, she makes sure no one else gets in. It would take A LOT to make Konan trust another. She is very careful, and suspicious of other people. She views herself as a tool for Nagato, and is willing to do anything for him. But she is not like this at all with others. Nagato is familiar, and they share the same burdens. She also feels guilty for Yahiko’s death. Essentially, Konan is filled with regret, and has no interest in allowing more harm to come to her emotionally. She is a great example of an emotionally guarded person.

2) Itachi

Itachi is living a lie, and pretending to be everything he hates. In order to even begin to deal with the emotional toll of this, he would have to essentially disconnect himself from others. Itachi doesn’t want other people to get to know him or understand him, in fear that they will find out too much. He also lives with tremendous guilt, and “preserves” himself just so Sasuke can kill him someday. He lives his everyday life not actually living- in his mind, he is already dead, and awaiting the moment his destiny is made real. Itachi is the most emotionally guarded out of all of them, since it is a conscious effort. Itachi is emotionally guarded both unconsciously and consciously. Trying to get him to open up his feelings to another person is like trying to talk to a brick wall.

3) Sasori

Sasori claims he has no emotions, but that is very untrue. Sasori admits to Sakura and Chiyo that he failed- he is neither dead nor alive, and he is an incomplete puppet. He’s referring to his inability to completely eradicate his humanity. But he only admits this at the end. Sasori is extremely stubborn, and his entire life philosophy is centered around a fallacy- that he doesn’t need others, and he can live forever. Sasori seeks to fix the emptiness he feels, and thinks the solution is to get rid of emotions completely and become a higher being. After all, emotions have never done him any good. So Sasori is very deluded, and it’s a delusion he crafted around himself, one brick at a time. He is extremely emotionally guarded, even against himself.

4) Kakuzu

I would say Kakuzu is also emotionally guarded from living a long, harsh life, and would like to avoid caring for others as much as possible. Kakuzu was burned by the people he cared for most- his village. And they betrayed his trust. After this is probably when he became cynical about humanity and relied on something material and emotionless- money. I remember replying to an ask on how Kakuzu would fall in love, and I said Kakuzu would be very tricky to catch feelings. He takes his job seriously and caring for others isn’t on his priority list. He probably did this to protect himself and decades later, it’s just natural to him to block others out.

Most Unguarded:

All of the Akatsuki are emotionally guarded, in a way. But Kisame seems to still enjoy talking to others and cares for people He is very loyal and thoughtful. Deidara, despite his philosophy that nothing lasts forever (including happiness with others), always seeks out comradeship and is willing to talk about himself. Hidan is an open book. Like wow. He would probably tell you anything just to have someone to talk to. (Hidan can still be guarded on some topics if he doesn’t trust you, but I think to a normal degree.) Nagato is more open with himself than Konan is, since he was willing to talk to Naruto about his problems. Tobi/Obito is not as open as Nagato, but does love to talk when it’s appropriate. He isn’t too guarded with his feelings- he’s just tactful with them.

#hidan #sasori #itachi uchiha #kisame hoshigaki #deidara #kakuzu #konan #nagato #tobi #obito #akatsuki #naruto #itachi #kisame #rambles #text post #asks #Akatsuki Headcanon Collection

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