#but just so everyone knows this paragraph has more smut in it to me than all 11k of time with angelo

[yorshie]

Eye Fucking is just as valid as Smut.

[pepperyduck]

deadbeat - toji fushiguro

synopsis: too stupid and selfish for anything good to happen.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: angst, toji is an ass, marriage problems, arguements, pregnancy, like two paragraphs of smut, rushed relationships, ooc toji (probably), really bad writing, a bunch of timeskips cuz i'm lazy. (18+ mdni!)

notes: yeah this one is ass but i just wanted to make something sad/angry. much love! send me requests i'm begging </3.

edit: you can find pt. 2 here.

masterlist

 toji sits on a random bench downtown. he’s thinking. he thinks he’s too self-absorbed. and he’s rude, too rude for anyone to befriend him in a genuine way. he wishes he could change. toji’s left everyone in his life behind at some point. he gets overwhelmed sometimes, seeing all the people around him that more than likely have someone or something that keeps them going.

what does toji have? nothing. and it’s his own fault, too. he only has a stubbornness to him that won’t let him die. his mind is the only thing that keeps him going.

and then he sees you.

you plop down on the same bench, not next to him, but only a few feet away, rummaging through your bag to find something. you’re determined, not focused on the big scary man next to you. but to toji; you’re the first person in years that has sat next to him. he stares at you, as you still search for that something in your bag – your keys, toji sees you grab your keys. you look back up, finding toji staring at you, and he doesn’t break the contact with his eyes, he only continues to stare.

“are…you okay…?” you ask the man, giving him an awkward smile, “i’m sorry if i bothered you.”

once you speak, toji shakes his head, “no, no…you’re fine. i was just thinking,” toji says. you notice his gruff tone, yeah, it fits the way he looks perfectly. he’s muscular, and has dark, dark hair that matches the midnight sky with no stars. there’s also a bored look on his face, his eyes stay half-lidded, and his mouth sits in a natural frown. but he’s handsome, you think. very handsome. but it’s almost in an unconventional way – the scarring on his lips and overall structure of his face is like none other you’ve seen before.

call it love at first sight, call it whatever you want. but you felt a certain need for this man.

“thinking about what?” you ask, in an attempt to talk to him.

toji shakes his head again, “nothing important.”

you think that he probably has no interest in you, maybe you really did catch him off guard when you sat down next to him. but toji is thinking about how he’s never seen anyone like you, too, and he’s never had anyone willingly sit next to him and try to conversate. he thinks he’s too intimidating, and he is, to pretty much anyone else.

but you – you don’t get that from him. all you see is a possibly lonely, pretty man.

“what’s your name?” you question him again, cocking your head to the side.

“mm…toji,” he says, hesitantly.

“toji…” you repeat after him, mentally repeating his name over and over as to not forget it. toji can’t peel his eyes away from your lips as you mouth his name a couple times, the way they perfectly made an “o” shape for the letter in his name.

“uhm,” toji croaks, an unfamiliar feeling of nervousness in his chest, “what’s your name?”

when you tell him your name, toji sighs in relief. he’d always found it hard to have normal conversations, outside of those he had for work purposes, but this…this wasn’t so hard. he hadn’t wished to meet someone again in forever. but he wished now that he would see you again, even if it was passing on the street. toji hangs his head down, not knowing what to say anymore. these are difficult, odd, never-visited-before feelings for him.

maybe it was love at first sight for him, too. he doesn’t really know. not yet, at least.

“toji,” you repeat his name once more, and he lifts his head to look at you, “can i have your number, or something?” if you wanted to catch toji off guard, now, this is the way to do it.

toji’s mouth drops open slightly, “uh- sure,” he mutters, and he’s unable to stare at you anymore. you hand him an old receipt and a pen you kept in your bag, and he tries his hardest to remember the number of his apartment phone.

eventually, he writes it down, and you notice his penmanship definitely needs some work. nonetheless, you smile at toji, this time more genuine rather than awkward, and tell him you have to get going. toji only stares once more as you walk away, disappearing into the crowded sidewalk, his eyes linger on you for as long as possible.

toji was lonely. so, so pathetically lonely until you showed up.

“would you want to, like…see each other again?” you ask a drunk toji over the phone. his phone cord is stretched all the way over the counter in his apartment to the couch, where he lazily laid, buzzed, and talking to you.

silence is heard on the other side of the phone for a couple seconds.

“…sure,” toji replies, and you don’t know, but he feels like he could throw up.

however, with you making all the plans, a “date” is finally planned in a couple of weeks. neither one of you is too sure what to call it. but by normal, societal standards, yes, you and him were going to go on a date.

you have phone conversations every so often as the remaining days pass. usually, it’s you calling him. that’s only because he thinks your life is too busy for someone like him. he doesn’t even know why someone like you is even talking to him.

toji will keep his insecurities under wraps for now, though. only for now.

he’s still very curious about you, though, and he wonders what makes him so curious. he’s still wondering when he walks into a bar – the one you proclaimed as your favorite – to see you on your so-called date. toji’s heart flutters for the first time in his life when he sees you. you’re already sat in one of the barstools, sipping on a mixed drink – and you are jaw-droppingly beautiful. toji doesn’t talk to you when he slides into the stool next to you.

you crane your neck to look at whoever just sat in the reserved seat, and it’s toji, not looking any differently from how you saw him a couple weeks ago. you don’t mind. he’s still attractive. you think he might just be the type that’s “unapologetically themselves.” and he is, but not in a way that makes people attracted to him.

“toji!” his name falls off your tongue so perfectly yet again, and you wrap your arms around his neck. he doesn’t hug you back, he only freezes slightly at your touch. again, you don’t mind. it’s painfully obvious he doesn’t do things like this often. you feel lucky he decided to show up in the first place.

as time ticks away, you begin to find out more about toji. he does have a sense of humor, it only takes some chipping away at his hard exterior and a few drinks for him to laugh along with you. he lives alone, and he’s honest about his job – he kills people for a living. that fact doesn’t intimidate you, it only explains why he is the way he is. he tells you a few minute details about his family life, too, and how he grew up.

nothing that he tells you scares you. it only makes sense to you. the pieces of his personality add up with the information he gives you. and silently, you thank him for explaining more about himself.

he just doesn’t want to be lonely anymore.

toji takes you back to his place that night. even the frugal décor – or lack thereof – makes sense to you. it’s a little humorous how everything fits so perfectly with his personality.

“fuck- toji!” you scream, arms shaking as you hold yourself up as toji pounds you from behind. you know you only met him a few weeks ago, and it’s bad to fuck on the first date, but you feel zero remorse with the current situation. his big, rough hands hold your hips in place, lewd, wet noises fill the air when you aren’t moaning for the man behind you. toji doesn’t pay mind to how loud you’re being – he only likes the fact you’re losing yourself because of him.

toji props his leg up on the bed, giving a new angle, and slams his hips forward to meet yours again. you feel him in the deepest parts of you, and god, he’s so warm, he makes your whole body heat up in a way you’ve never felt before. drool rolls out of your mouth, creating a small damp circle below your head. your eyes flash behind you. you see toji in all his glory – he’s actually got some emotion on his face now.

you fall asleep in toji’s bed that night.

toji prays you won’t just be a one-night stand – no, he won’t let you be a one-night stand. in toji’s mind, you’re his now.

in your mind, you are too.

a few weeks after your date, you call up toji, he notices the nervous tone in your voice, but doesn’t mention anything about it.

“toji…” you say, his name sounding so perfect once again, “toji…i’m pregnant.”

shit.

“what?” he sounds furious, and it makes you cower down, even in the comfort of your own home. you don’t repeat yourself. you know he heard you. “are you sure?” he frantically questions, slapping a hand to his forehead as he begins to sweat.

“i’ve been sick ever since our date…and all the tests i took are positive.” you whimper, not handling the news any better than toji. you want to cry and beg toji not to leave. “i’m sorry, toji,” you whisper.

“it’s…okay.” toji replies. he knows the fault lies with both of you, and the heat of the moment, and the fact that he was just so attracted to you he didn’t have time to control himself.

“i don’t know what to do,” you tell toji, tears rolling down your cheeks as you clench the phone in your hand even tighter.

“me either,” toji admits, “but…i’ll help you.” those are the only words he can think of to calm you down.

it’s going to be a sticky situation, no matter what. but you took a chance on toji, you overlooked everything wrong with him. it was now his time to return the favor.

he got his wish, though. you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere anytime soon.

toji hauls the last of your boxes into his apartment, throwing them down on the floor harder than needed.

“you have a lot of shit, woman,” he groans, wiping his forehead. you only giggle in return from your spot on the couch. he didn’t let you pick up any of the heavy boxes.

you spend the rest of the day unpacking all your clothes, completely overtaking toji’s closet with items of your own. all your things add a splash of color into toji’s space, and god knows he needs it. toji’s surprised someone can have so much stuff.

“what the hell is this?” toji asks, pulling something out of a box.

“it’s a curling iron, toji,” you reply as you roll your eyes.

by the time night comes, you’re successfully moved in with the father of your baby. empty boxes are broken down and laid by the door. you’re curled up next to toji on the couch, his arm is wrapped around you. it’s been around 3 months since your first encounter with toji downtown.

ever since you told him you were pregnant, he’s acted differently. he dotes on you, he makes sure you’re comfortable, he buys you meals because he’s clueless as to what else to buy you. toji didn’t think he had it in him. you still aren’t officially together — yet — but toji shows he has a care for you in small ways.

you’re still getting used to one another, though. you and toji differ from each other tremendously, but you have to find a way to make these things work. you show toji love, and he prefers to keep his feelings inside, showing love through him allowing you to touch him and be around him. he hasn’t allowed anyone to be this way with him before. nothing is ever long term with him.

he no longer has a choice now.

“toji,” you speak, “are we dating? are we together?” you ask.

the inquiry causes toji to furrow his eyebrows.

“why?” toji answers you with another question. you shrug.

“I just want to know,” you reply. toji shrugs.

“do you want to get married?” toji petitions.

you push yourself off toji, sitting up. you look at him, eyebrows knitted together, “what?” you almost sound the same as toji did when you told him you were pregnant. and again, the situation repeats itself. toji’s statement doesn’t recur. he knows you heard him.

toji looks at you, a sly grin on his scarred lips.

“okay,” you finally agree, “i’ll marry you, toji.”

love grows. loving someone can change you, for the better or for worse. love matures someone, it will make someone into something they once weren’t, or something they aren’t meant to be. love is beautiful. intimate, soft feelings swell inside of you in a way you cannot express.

you love toji. he loves you, too, you think.

“toji, let go of me,” you playfully giggle as you try to pry the man’s hands off your waist, “i have to cook!”

toji has his arms wrapped around you from behind, not too hard, of course, to make sure there is no damage done to the human you’re growing inside of you. he has no intentions of letting you go, despite your pleas. toji rests his head on your shoulder, kissing the crook of your neck and breathing your scent in.

“i love you.” toji whispers, a barely audible peep.

you’re taken aback for a moment. you understood long ago those words would probably never come out of his mouth; due to the rushed situation you lived in with him. but he was there with you, saying those three words that mean more than anything in this world.

“i love you too, toji,” you reply, now staying still as opposed to your earlier motions of trying to get away.

the both of you just stand there, so close, enveloped in each other’s presence. you haven’t shared a moment like this with him yet.

you crane your neck to plant a kiss on toji’s cheek, no longer fighting to get out of his grasp. you only turn yourself around and wrap your arms around his neck, encapsulating your husband in a deep hug. a hug that means more than anything that can be put into words.

that was the only time he said those words to you.

you’ve been married to toji for five and a half months. he’s a changed man, despite him still carrying the same cold demeanor as the same day you met. he’s proven to be a fine partner for you. you understand him more now, with the way he continues to keep you at arm’s length while also letting you in to his mind, expressing deep emotions whenever he was under the influence. he makes a promise to you that he won’t do anything to harm you or the baby, including with his job. he no longer wants to be put in danger, because it would put you and his baby in danger.

lonely he was no more. he had you, it was all he needed. toji felt that way for months. he would stay content and happy — although he never showed it — with you.

toji often spent his time thinking about you. he’s never had anyone like you in his life.

sometimes, love cannot change you entirely. the newness of it all wears out over time, that’s inevitable. but, it’s the choices you make along the way that show change.

all the while being a changed man, toji is still self-absorbed. he cannot run away from that fact.

 you’re 8 months pregnant. the past few nights, you’ve been alone at toji’s apartment, too pregnant and tired to do anything about it.

just as you’re about to call him up, toji opens the door and stumbles through, drunk as ever. you frown.

“where the hell have you been, toji?” you raise your voice, slowly getting up from the couch.

“why the hell does it matter?” toji retorts, anger in his voice. he wasn’t expecting you to be on his ass as soon as he walked through the door.

“you’ve been gone for three days!” you yell at him, “three whole days. you said you wouldn’t take on any more dangerous jobs!”

toji makes a tch sound with his teeth, “i wasn’t on a job.” he admits.

you look at toji, confused, “where were you?”

toji runs his fingers through his already disheveled hair, “gambling.”

he says it so nonchalantly, like he didn’t just spend half a week away from his pregnant wife gambling. toji had only mentioned gambling as a bad past habit. you didn’t think he did it anymore, but as soon as he admits it, you wonder if he spent all that time gambling instead of working. it would only make sense.

“what…?” you say, voice dropping to nothing more than a whisper. toji only shakes his head and walks off into the bedroom. you stare at him until he disappears.

for weeks after, you and toji continue to argue. your conversations turn into screaming battles until one of you gives up. most nights, toji sleeps on the couch. you slowly begin to realize that everything might have been a mistake.

there’s a reason he’s never had someone like you.

your arguments falter for a while at the arrival of your baby boy. he’s beautiful, a literal bundle of joy. toji takes the role of a father very seriously at first. he makes sure he’s taken care of while you spend a few days bedridden because of the birth. you love to watch toji through your bedroom door, while he holds the baby swaddled up as he cooks for you.

a glimmer of hope remains in your heart for your marriage.

toji joins you in bed that night, the baby safely tucked away in a small bassinet on your side of the bed. you’re wrapped in toji’s arms again. the world is right. you fall asleep to the sounds of your husband’s snores. it’s a feeling you haven’t had in a long time.

selfishness is a cruel disease.

a couple months after having your baby, you’re not so lonely, spending most of your time taking care of him. you become too busy and burnt out from being a parent that you don’t notice toji’s late nights again. he always joins you in bed, at some point, but at the end of the day you’re sleeping too soundly to notice the time.

slowly, the rekindled love begins to fade for toji. he’s never there, except for when the sun is down. once you’re able to stay awake past 9p.m., the nasty monster of arguments comes back at full force.

“shut the hell up, woman! you’re pissing me off!” toji yells. the baby is wailing in your bedroom, but you are too preoccupied with your husband to do anything.

“are you kidding me? you reek of cheap perfume,” you retort, voice matching the loudness of toji’s, “who the fuck were you with?”

“none of your goddamned business!” toji shouts, taking a step closer to tower over you. he does nothing to intimidate you. you were never scared of him, so why would you be now?

“it is my business, i’m your wife!” you reply to his remarks.

toji scoffs. he makes a decision quickly, not thinking about any repercussions. he points a finger towards the door.

“get the hell out.”

your face falls from anger into an expression that can only be described as heartbreak. your husband of almost – almost ­­– a year is kicking you out. toji’s face remains stern and cold, not a pang of regret for doing this to you.

thousands of questions run through your mind, painful silence falls over the room, and you can hear your baby screaming once more. no time is given to ask toji anything. and for once, you’re scared. not exactly scared of toji, but of the fact you don’t know how things are going to end up without him.

your shoulders relax. you look toji in the eyes, unable to hide your heartbreak, but overall, you decide to keep an unbothered façade.

indifference doesn’t matter to toji. neither does sadness, or anger.

it only takes you a few minutes to pack a bag with enough things for you and the baby. you do your best to calm him down before leaving. you walk over to the door, looking toji in the eyes once more, and for the first time, toji can see the rage in them. the rage that he caused.

“i hate you.”

you slam the door on your way out, a bag on one shoulder and the baby on your other side. you think about what toji was doing, but alas, you don’t really care. it only took a few minutes and a couple hundred hurtful words for toji to be dead to you.

toji watches from his window as you walk down the sidewalk, disappearing into the crowd with his son. he thinks about where you’re going, who you’ll stay with, and how his life will end up now that you’re more than likely gone for good.

he’s a lonely man again. he’s leaving behind someone else, yet again.

but, he doesn’t really care.

[yoonbroom]

SEVENTEEN FIC RECS

a list of seventeen fics I really enjoyed! pls go and show these amazing authors some love <3 also if there wasn't a summary on the fic I just included a little paragraph or the request! now onto the recs ↓

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

HELLO TUTORIAL - @97-liners

oneshot, fluff, college au, frat au

it’s your final year of college, and you’ve been elected president of your sorority. this is all great and fine, but as the semester goes on, you find yourself having repeated run-ins with the president of the fraternity next door in a series of unfortunate coincidences (that might not actually be coincidences, as you come to discover). or: in which you’re trying to deal with your crush on seungcheol in a normal way, but the meddling kids are making it harder than it needs to be.

FRACTURED PARENTING, PT.2 - @berriesandjunnie

oneshot angst, fluff, idol au, separated parents au, enemies to lovers

parenting can be an emotional rollercoaster when you’re far from divorced and the flames are far from dying.

YOON JEONGHAN

UNTITLED - @userjuyo

drabble, fluff, est relationship

"i just know than jeonghan would tease his s/o a lot, but whenever they went “hannie :(“ he would literally MELT like he’d just be like “okay sweetheart i’m sorry 🥺” and the members would be like ????? BC HE WON’T LET THEM LIVE but it’s his baby so &lt;;3"

UNTITLED - @wqnwoos

drabble, fluff, est relationship

“what if crabs think that fish can fly?” your question is whispered into the darkness of your bedroom — you gazing at the ceiling thoughtfully, while jeonghan curls up beside you.

OF RAINY NIGHTS AND ROSES - @chenfleur

oneshot, angst, fluff, idol au, est relationship

In the heat of the moment, Jeonghan grows careless with his words. Now, he has to bear the weight of saying things he didn't mean.

DAISIES - @viastro

oneshot, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers

the best type of revenge is to hurt the person that means the most to them. aka, in which jeonghan is in charge of making you fall in love with him, just to break your heart. 

JOSHUA HONG

BEST FRIENDS BROTHER - @chocosvt

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, best friends brother

joshua happens to be your best friend’s older brother. he’s pretty, and he’s got a lot of cool details about him that you pay a concerning amount of attention to, but he’s just a friend (if you could even call it that). still, what does he think of you, anyway? that is—if he thinks of you.

IT TAKES TWO - @/berriesandjunnie

oneshot, fluff, idol au, parent au, est relationship

a family is a little scary when your partner has over millions of fans.

UNTITLED - @/wqnwoos

drabble, fluff, est relationship

"it feels like the sky has only just welcomed the sun when joshua tries to get up to leave."

WEN JUNHUI

HEAVEN COULDN'T WAIT FOR YOU - @/berriesandjunnie

oneshot, angst, idol au

i just couldn’t stand to see you leaving but heaven couldn’t wait for you.

HAPPY ENDING - @junkissed

one shot, angst, fluff, marriage, est relationship

a pointless argument escalates until both of you need some space, but it couldn't come at a worse time.

KWON SOONYOUNG

LET ME TRY AGAIN - @papermatisse

oneshot, angst, fluff, exes to lovers, parent au

Soonyoung had never wanted to live a restrained capitalistic life, forced to work a tiresome 9 to 5, paying taxes until the day he dies. Though in exchange to pursue the other option, that being devotion to a career, he had to pay an unfathomably large price—he had to abandon everything and everyone he's ever loved. can he fit himself back into his former life? one that's changed more than he can possibly imagine? could the ones he loved forgive him for his wrongdoings? could he get the second chance he wants so desperately?

(UN)TRADITIONAL - @neonun-au

oneshot, fluff, wedding au, est relationship

"The digital clock on the hotel night stand flashes the next minute as it passes. A re-run of Law & Order: SVU drones on in the background as you sit at the edge of the bed, staring sleeplessly at your wedding dress hanging on the back of the closet door. "

VOWELS AND VERACITY - @hansolmates

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, teacher au, single parent

after a blind date that makes you feel like a giddy teenager all over again, you’re forced to grow up and take a chance when you realize that special someone is your daughter’s kindergarten teacher.

BE SWEET - @heartkyeom

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, royalty, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers

“Why are you here?” Your tone is resolute, not allowing for even an inch of resistance. “That’s what we need to talk about. We’re getting married,” He lifts the corner of his mouth. You let out a laugh that is nowhere near polite, in fact, you’re nearly cackling at the prospect of this idea. It’s simply so outlandish, so fantastical that every time you look at his face it seems more unfathomable.

JEON WONWOO

FOR THE BOOKS - @trblsvt

oneshot, fluff, teacher au, est relationship

wonwoo's students seemed intent on matching him up with a fellow teacher. he didn't really want to stop them, it was too funny for him to break up their fun. plus, he didn't mind the certain someone he was being "set up" with.

HOW TO FALL - @because-of-a-friend

oneshot, fluff, angst, idol au

"hi!! <3 i love ur acc and i was wondering if you'd be able to write an imagine where you're besties with joshua and he invites you to meet the rest of seventeen for the first time and you instantly fall for wonwoo? maybe some angst but overall fluff? thank you!! no rush!! i love your work!!!"

UNTITLED - @/97-liners

oneshot, fluff, royalty au, friends to lovers, childhood friends

"a royalty au where you’re the heir to the throne and wonwoo is your shy (and lowkey bumbling) royal advisor…. he’s smart and always has his head stuck in a book but he’s also painfully awkward and clueless to how deeply in love with him you are. until your parents decide it’s time for you to get married. and suddenly you’re inundated by suitor after suitor, and wonwoo is quizzing them on their credentials and doubting their suitability for you, this one makes brash political decisions, this one spends too freely, this one has no tact for diplomacy. until one day, you turn to him and ask, “you’ve hated every single one of them. who, then, do you think i should marry?” and wonwoo blushes red and presses his lips together."

SCANDAL, PT.2, PT.3, PT.4- @fantasyescapes17

series, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, regency au

this is part of an extensive series that includes other members! you can check it out ⤳ here

The Viscount's sister with an enormous dowry, beauty and unmistakable talent- you began the London season as the most desired woman in any room. But Jeon Wonwoo (a man who would rather hide in the library than dance at a ball) is beyond your comprehension. Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it embroiled you into a scandal with a man you could never love.

MEET CUTE OF THE CENTURY - @lovelyhan

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, idol au, strangers to lovers

the last thing you expected when you volunteered at your city’s local animal shelter is to meet the hottest cat person in the world. now if only he’d just adopt one of them so you’d stop ogling him every time he drops by.

MARRIAGE - @yikesmary

drabble, fluff, parent au, est relationship

where wonwoo’s nightmare is coming true.

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE - @/yikesmary

oneshot, fluff, parent au, est relationship

where you and nari try to make breakfast and a cake before wonwoo wakes up… if only your daughter knew what the word “surprise” meant.

LEE JIHOON

GUITAR STRING - @leejungchans

oneshot, fluff, angst, royalty au

"“Take me away.” Jihoon’s elegant fingers, previously plucking at his guitar strings, freeze at your words. The soothing, lullaby-like chords he had been playing echo into the inky darkness, carried away by the chilly night breeze."

WE'LL BE OK - @atinykidult

drabble, angst, fluff, idol au, est relationship

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you” for hurt!Jihoon

LIVE - @wondernus

oneshot, fluff, idol au, est relationship

having just finished composing a song a few hours ago, jihoon starts a live on his phone to sing to those who are feeling a little lonely at night. little does he know, your sleeping figure could be seen in the corner of his little livestream, causing his fans to go crazy.

MWHA - @cheolism

oneshot, fluff, est relationship

three times you said "mwah" at the end of a kiss and one time jihoon said it back

IM DATING WOOZI - @jihoonotes

oneshot, fluff, smau, est relationship, idol au

y/n is in a public relationship w/ woozi of SVTZ and decides to make a twitter acc to support jihoon, but SVTZ fans seem to think they're delusional.

JIHOON'S PUPPY - @rubyreduji

oneshot, angst, fluff, college au

jihoon can’t seem to shake the puppy dog who keeps following him around or the teasing he gets for it

HEARTSTRINGS - @wavelikewhat

oneshot, fluff, strangers to lovers, idol au

You help Jihoon meet an unexpected deadline for a song and he wonders why he can’t stop thinking about you. Luckily his members nudge him toward the answer.

LEE SEOKMIN

WARM ME UP ! - @ponkwan

drabble, fluff, est relationship

the one where you’re on your third date with seokmin.

KIM MNGYU

HOT OR COLD? - @jjuniehao

oneshot, fluff, est relationship

when looking for something on his phone, you find an email you didn’t expect…

BOYFRIEND PHOTOS - @babyleostuff

oneshot, fluff, est relationship, idol au

a sunny date spent with your precious boyfriend

XU MINGHAO

THE LETTER - @toruro

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, brothers best friend, childhood friends to lovers, idol au

in which you’re jun's little sister and have been pining for a man so close yet so out of reach for ages. now, years later, when you see minghao all grown up, famous, and still making your heart flutter, you're not so sure what to do about your not-so-little crush.

BOO SEUNGKWAN

A BEAUTIFUL LIFE - @sungbeam

oneshot, fluff, childhood friends, est relationship

Boo Seungkwan asked you to marry him beneath the shade of an orange tree.

CHWE VERNON

ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE - @suhnshinehaos

series, fluff, angst, childhood friends to lovers, arranged marriage, smau

the one where you get into an arranged marriage with your childhood best friend vernon, but neither of you seem to mind that much

UNTITLED - @/wqnwoos

drabble, fluff, est relationship, idol au

“vernon, we need to talk.”

OR, WOULD YOU RATHER IT BE ME? - @thepixelelf

oneshot, fluff, childhood friends to lovers, college au, soulmate au

A detested soulmark, a friendship over a decade in the making, and an unexpected proposal from one friend to another… what could possibly go wrong?

LEE CHAN

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE - @/berriesandjunnie

oneshot, fluff, est relationship, parent au, idol au

no matter what stage in life you’re at, or after all these years, you can count on his hyungs to still treat him the same.

08:23 AM - @wheeboo

drabble, fluff, est relationship, idol au

in which chan is late to dance practice.

want recs for other groups? check out my navigation → here!

[mypoisonedvine]

𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰 (part I) | frater imperator x reader

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 | when the newly-appointed head of the clergy decides (or, has it decided for him) that it is time to marry, he neither has time for nor has to worry about the stress of dating... he can just take his pick.

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱 | 5.2k

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 | for the series overall: smut (18+ only!!), arranged marriage, extreme religious themes, shy!reader, and lots of pining/slow-ish burn. for this chapter: mention of death and mostly just reader having anxiety... and a hint of my glove kink coming through but that's neither here nor there

this is probably not worth saying when it's already in the title but uh, rite here rite now spoilers. so sorry but it's literally what the fic is based on so I couldn't help it.

Frater Imperator… Frater Imperator…

He couldn’t quite wrap his head around the title, still.  It was a shock already when he first read the letter from his mother— on top of the shock of losing her, which was more than enough— but it still hadn’t quite sunk in.

He was so shocked by the promotion, in fact, that he’d been entirely unable to process the paragraph afterwards:

And please, do as I’ve been asking for quite some time and finally take a wife.  Or husband!  I’m not picky.  But you need someone beside you to keep things in order and keep you in line.

Yes, Copia’s mother had been encouraging him towards marriage for quite some time, even before he knew she was his mother; in some ways, it made more sense once that element came to light, though it did change the tone of her request quite a lot.  It also made him take it much more seriously.

And now, it could be argued that this was basically her dying wish.  He really had no other choice: he couldn’t put off a marriage any longer.

See, he’d never had a problem with the idea of it— he’d always imagined getting married some day, like most people seem to— but he wasn’t the luckiest in love.  A broken heart or two (or five) had convinced him to focus more on his work with the church, and to be fair, no one could deny that the work had paid off.  But, as they say, it gets lonely at the top: and now, he was the leader of the whole church, and he had no prospects or even romantic interests to speak of.

Fortunately, he had realized that because he was the leader, he didn’t need all that: all he had to do was say the word.

~

The announcement spread through the congregation like wildfire: the newly-minted Frater Imperator was going to get married.  The part they neglected to mention— and the part everyone wanted to know the most— was to whom.

There were already plenty of rumors, which you avoided because you felt they were all baseless.  Even within one day you’d heard three different stories about this mysterious future spouse, each more preposterous than the last: that he had a secret lover in the ministry he would wed, that he met a fan at a ritual and swept her off her feet, and that he had some previously unmentioned long-term girlfriend who wasn’t even in the church.

The wedding was less than a week away and all anyone knew was that everyone would be there.

Unfortunately, it was hard to ignore the gossip, even if you weren’t participating in it.  The night when it all began, you were trying to read while several of the other Sisters were giggling amongst themselves over their various theories.  “I wasn’t sure he’d ever marry,” someone admitted, “even though he could probably have anyone he wanted.”

“Not me,” one Sister announced smugly, “I never thought he was all that good-looking.”

“Oh please,” another scoffed incredulously, “you’d be on your knees in a second if you saw him at a ritual.”

“Besides, his looks aren’t the most important thing: this is the head of the clergy.  Whoever he marries is probably going to be spoiled rotten!”

They laughed excitedly, and though you’d been trying to tune it out, you couldn’t help but wonder about it as well.  The announcement had left so much unanswered, but the timing of it seemed too important to ignore.  Perhaps the clergy had forbidden the Papa to marry— you weren’t aware of any rule against it, since to your knowledge none of them had ever tried— and so he’d had to wait until his time was complete to be with the person he loved.  Perhaps it was the death of his mother that triggered it: at best, a renewed desire to find happiness and family when faced with a reminder of mortality; at worst, his mother hadn’t approved of his lover and only now was his final obstacle removed.

Ironically, after all those times you failed to ignore them before, it took the other Sisters several attempts to tear you out of your train of thought now: you blinked quickly and looked up from your book as you realized they were saying your name to get your attention.

“Hm?” you mumbled hazily when you looked at them.

“A message for you,” Sister Agnes informed you, leaning over to hand you a rolled parchment.  You weren’t sure if it was private or not, but everyone was staring at you in anticipation— in fact, you noticed then that their entire conversation had died down to silence— and so you awkwardly unrolled it and read the writing inside.

MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY:

Frater Imperator and the clergy request your presence in the upper sanctum imminently.

~

As soon as you descended the stairway back to the mail halls of the abbey, a gaggle of Sisters descended on you, wide-eyed and desperate for gossip.  “So?!” Sister Lilith asked expectantly, like the rest of her question should be obvious. “What was it about?”

“Was the whole clergy there?”

“U-uhm, all but Frater,” you replied shyly.

“What did they say?”

“Don’t be silly, ladies,” Sister Agnes scoffed, “it was obviously about the wedding.  What else would there be meetings about today?  They must want her to help in some way: communion, maybe?”

“Ooh!  A bridesmaid!” another in the group suggested excitedly.  “Do you know who he’s marrying?”

“Of course she knows!” someone answered for you.  “Who is it?  I was right, wasn’t I— it’s someone in the church!”

“Well… yes, I know who it is,” you mumbled, “but I… I’m not sure I’m permitted to speak on it.”

That was a lie, but you were too busy trying to process it all yourself to share it with anyone.

“Just tell us,” they begged.  “You won’t get in trouble!”

“The wedding’s only a few days away,” Sister Lilith pointed out, “so there’s no point in it being a secret now— and if I’m right about who it is, Sister Magdalena owes me a fifty.”

“I’m sure you didn’t guess it,” you promised her.

But the questions just kept coming: “It is a woman, though, right?” “Is it someone you know?  Wait, is it someone we know?” “

You realized that if you didn’t tell them now, they would either figure it out soon or be entirely blindsided at the ceremony.  Not to mention that if you refused to answer their questions, they’d just keep grilling you until they got something.  Your voice was actually quite feeble in that moment, not loud or strong enough to cut through all that chatter— but your words were enough to stop every question being thrown at you in its tracks.

“It’s me.”

You waited for them to react, but for a moment, they didn’t.

“I was asked to— to take the position,” you specified, putting it as vaguely as possible.  I’m going to marry Frater Imperator was just as true but was just as hard to say as it was to wrap your head around.

They erupted into a variety of reactions, all of which at least had some element of shock involved.  “I had no idea you were so close!” Sister Agnes exclaimed.

“We’ve… never even spoken…” you shyly replied, and the excitement quickly died down.  You weren't offended by their quizzical stares; if anything, it was a relief to see some of them looking as confused as you felt.

Why did he choose her? you caught a few whispers in the back of the group.  They're strangers? What makes her so special, then?

You wish you knew the answers to those questions.

That night as you laid in bed, you couldn’t do anything but replay the clergy meeting in your mind.  You’d felt so small across the table from all of them; you had no idea air could feel so heavy and stiff, matching the tense energy as you waited for them to explain why you’d been summoned.  As it all happened, you thought you would never forget every detail— but already you were losing your memory of what was said in what order, when exactly you realized you weren’t in trouble, how long it took you to believe what you were hearing.

Should we not court first?  Or have a meeting, maybe? You had suggested.  Frater does not feel it is necessary, a clergyman firmly replied.

And he’s not here now, because… you trailed off.

We all feel you should make this decision privately— in case his presence would sway you one way or another, a high Sister answered.

You could see the logic in that, and appreciated the concern for your uncoerced consent… except, of course, that this was an offer already impossible to say no to.  They’d successfully convinced you that you wouldn't be punished for turning down the proposal, but the marriage itself had already been announced: if you rejected the offer, someone else would surely take your place.  And for some reason, though the idea of going through with this terrified you, passing it up sounded even worse.  Even just imagining another woman taking her place at his side… why did it bother you so much? 

Because you will take your husband's title, but will not have decision-making power over the clergy, your title from henceforth shall be Sister Imperator Consortia.

It had a ring to it, but it didn’t feel like you— at least not yet.  It felt too… formal, too important.  Generally, people don’t join a convent and put on a habit because they’re intent on standing out, Satanic or not.

You told yourself that you needed to rest while you could, you had a busy week ahead starting with a dress fitting first thing tomorrow.  But still, you hardly got a moment of sleep that first night; part of you thought if you shut your eyes long enough, you would wake up to learn this had all been some bizarre dream.

You couldn’t decide, though, if you’d be relieved or heartbroken if you awoke.

~

In some ways, the wedding mass was quite similar to how you’d always pictured yours would be… except for the attendance.  You were sure you’d never met this many people in your life!  Even tonight, you wouldn’t be able to meet them all!

But, of course, this was the social event of the year, if not decade, for any church member or Satanist: it only made sense that there were throngs of people not only in the church but outside, waiting to see the new couple.

As you looked at yourself in the mirror, face obscured by the black veil, your eyes widened with the thought that you might be basically the Kate Middleton of Satanism in this moment…

Trading your opaque veil for one of lace, your loose and simple dress for a form-fitting and extravagant one made of dark red silk and sporting an over-the-top train, you wondered if you were going to be swallowed up by all this overwhelming intricacy, all this… pomp.

Taking a shaky breath, you tried not to imagine that everyone else watching you walk down the aisle would agree with you that you were horribly out of place.  You wished you’d had a chance to understand why you were chosen— to even just meet the high Frater, but the clergy had insisted several times that he was too busy with his new duties and planning the wedding.  Yes, your fiance was too busy planning your wedding to speak to you.  It was all horrifically ironic, and irritating.  So, as you turned and stepped out of the bridal suite, taking your bouquet of Dahlias from one of the Sisters assisting you, you thought to yourself if nothing else, at least I’ll get to finally try to understand all this by the end of the night.

The doors to the main hall opened for you, and there was no turning back.

It was a massive room, with easily a thousand people between you and the altar, but the very first thing your eyes fell on was Copia all the way at the other end of the aisle: the all black suit was no surprise, yet even from so far his white eye stood out prominently, and it was fixed on you.

Walking down the aisle took quite some time— you’d been reminded to take slow steps, as if you were just going to break into a sprint or something.  You tried to keep your eyes ahead, and ignore all the eyes on you: people seated on the furthest ends of the pews leaned and stood on their tiptoes to try to get a glimpse, but between all the encouraging smiles you caught an occasional glare of disapproval… it seemed plenty of your siblings were jealous of or disappointed by you one way or another.

Adjusting your clammy hands slightly, you realized you were unintentionally holding a concerningly tight grip on the Dahlia stems and the ribbon they were wrapped with; that said, you were very thankful for something you do with your hands.

Your heart was pounding by the time you reached the front of the hall, where the priest, the clergy, and your betrothed waited for you at the altar.  A Sister took your bouquet away to free your hands just as you passed the front row, and when you looked forward again there were only a few carpeted steps between you and… everything.

Copia surprised you by reaching forward— at first you weren’t sure what he meant by it, until you realized and quickly took his hand, letting him guide you up the stairs.  He was wearing those leather gloves you hardly ever saw him without, but even still, it was the first time you’d ever touched him; was his hand shaking?  You couldn’t tell, yet it almost felt like it.  Not to say that his grip wasn’t a strange sort of comfort in that moment; as he helped you up the stairs, you felt yourself relaxing slightly, despite being far from over with the hardest parts of this.

The first few minutes were just a matter of standing and waiting while the priest spoke: you wish you could say you remembered a damn word of it, he must’ve said something about love or marriages or… you know, all that.  Whatever it was, you were relieved when it was over and you could move on to the communion and prayer— the more familiar parts, and the parts where you got to kneel.  You were actually amazed that your legs hadn’t been noticeably wobbly so far, but they definitely could use a break.

In the time that your head was meant to be bowed in your prayer, you carefully opened your eyes and turned your head— just enough to take a peek at him quickly.  Well, your intention was to be quick about it, but once you started looking, you became distracted rather easily.  It was just that you'd never seen him so up close, you were sure: you'd never noticed the slope of his nose before, or how long his eyelashes were, or the shape of his lips in this profile—

Suddenly, as if he sensed your stare somehow, his eyes popped open and glanced over to return it.  He gave you a half smirk as your eyes widened and you snapped your gaze back down to your clasped hands.

“...and may they be joined in unholy matrimony for all eternity,” the priest ended his prayer: “Nema.”

“Nema,” you and Copia and the rest of the congregation replied.

The penultimate step of the ceremony was the exchanging of the rings, which were extended towards you both on a little velvet pillow— it was actually kind of adorable, you thought.

You figured he might take his gloves off for you to put the ring on, but it was apparently designed to fit around them; alternately, you had to suppress a startled reaction to your own ring as he gently placed it on your finger.  It was a massive ruby surrounded with onyx and black diamonds, intricate and completely unsubtle.  You knew Copia had expensive taste, and it was certainly in keeping with such a lavish wedding, but you wondered if it would look entirely out of place on you for daily wear.

I’ll wear this ring every day, forever, you reminded yourself; you breathed out shakily as his hands held yours so tenderly for one more moment after your ring was in place.

And then there was only one thing left.  The thing you’d been preparing yourself for since this morning— or perhaps since that fateful meeting with the clergy: the kiss.

It felt pretty melodramatic with him lifting your veil over your head, and it felt surreal to be in the part of this that you’d been imagining in hopes of preparing yourself.  Of course, it was a little different than how you’d pictured it, most of all the look on his face: it was subtle, but he didn’t seem as serious or muted as you were used to.  It wasn’t like he was grinning or anything— that would’ve actually been sort of creepy— but there was a small smile on his face.

You heard the priest say something about husband and wife but you weren’t paying attention, it all sounded distant somehow.  And maybe you sort of psyched yourself up for this moment too much— maybe you wanted to get the wedding over with, maybe you were afraid if you didn’t commit fully that you’d end up instinctively backing away when he came closer and you’d both be humiliated in front of all these people.

There were other possible explanations for what you did, but for whatever reason, you all but threw yourself onto him and kissed him.

It only lasted for a few seconds, but that moment may as well have been frozen in time; it took him a second to react, his hands settling near your waist— and it took the crowd a moment too, but they began to clap and cheer for you both at some point.

Truthfully, you weren’t thinking much about how it felt to kiss him… you couldn’t, really, without losing focus on the point of all this.  You weren’t here to have a nice kiss or meet someone you might like— you were here to serve a purpose, to fill a role.  And that’s not to say you weren’t grateful, but you weren’t going to let yourself be distracted from your duty to the church.

You backed away as suddenly as you’d latched onto him, and when you opened your eyes after scrunching them shut during the kiss, you saw him looking at you with a bit of shock in his expression.  Only then did you wince to yourself and wonder, was that too much?

He took your hand and turned to face the congregation, so you followed suit of course, and as he smiled and waved at them politely you were a little surprised to see them all standing and applauding.  It definitely felt like a bigger crowd from this side of the cathedral…

You were almost frozen for a second, until you felt his hand guiding you down— he was already on the first step down, so you quickly picked up your skirt and followed him.  You had wondered before if you would feel different walking back down the aisle with him, compared to when you processed on it alone.  You weren’t sure if you really felt married or something— what would that even feel like?— but you did feel different.

You felt better, actually— relieved, happier, you even caught yourself smiling at the crowd, but it was hard not to with how… energetic they were.  Despite not really knowing what to do with all that attention, you at least appreciated it, though it surely had little to do with you.  They were cheering for him because he’s Copia— Frater, the former Papa, heir of the Emeritus bloodline— and they were only cheering for you because you’re his wife.

And no, just because you understood that logically didn’t mean it felt at all real yet.

Frater Imperator and Sister Imperator Consortia! you could hear the announcement echoing through the hall, though it was distant compared to the claps and hollers.  You dared one glance at him by your side, thinking it might be easier than looking at this massive crowd around you, and found him already smiling at you; and with a warmth beginning to spread on your face, you let him guide you out of the doors, into the rest of the church submerged in nightfall. 

~

After a crowded spectacle like that, the quiet of his chambers was quite a relief.  So much so, actually, that it dampened some of that eerie, anxious feeling of being alone with Copia in his bedroom; it wasn’t quite as spacious as you would’ve assumed someone with his level of importance would have, but the ornate and luxurious furniture made perfect sense.

You were so caught up in taking it all in, almost entranced by the beauty all around you, that when he spoke it slightly startled you. 

“That kiss,” he said suddenly.  “Wow.”

It was just that his voice sounded so different like this: no microphone, no massive chapel, just one small room with stone walls.  There was a brief pause as he ran his gloved hand over his hair, blowing air quickly out of his mouth, and you realized you should probably respond somehow: for some reason, your mind struggled to accept that he was speaking to you directly.  “I’m sorry if I was too forward, I just—”

“No!  No, not at all,” he laughed thinly, “no, you did very well.  I’m sure today was… overwhelming for you.”

It felt good to just hear him confirm that: up until now, everyone in the clergy had been sort of acting like this was normal, never really acknowledging (let alone validating) your stress.

“If it’s any comfort, it was for me, too.  And I’ve had a lot more experience with large crowds than you,” he added.

You smiled a little; “Yes, that’s true— but it must be different here, at home.”

“Mm,” he nodded, pondering that for a second.  “It is.  But it’s preferable in some ways, too— like now, being able to come back to my own space.”

You envied that a bit; you were likely never to return to your chambers across the building, and while you didn’t necessarily enjoy sharing that space with a dozen other Sisters, it was probably easier than sharing a bed with just one man.

Before you could get a little too caught up in that train of thought, he spoke again.  “I can’t believe I haven’t already told you how exquisite you look in your dress,” he offered.

“O-oh, thank you,” you hummed, “I’m very fortunate, it’s a beautiful gown.”

“Of course it is, I picked it out,” he informed you proudly.  “I have excellent taste, no?”

“You do,” you agreed with a small laugh.

“And you liked the ceremony, I hope?”

“Yes, Papa,” you answered dutifully.  “I-I mean, Frater.”

“Force of habit,” he noticed, “literally.  But, I'm not Frater to you anymore, I'm your husband.”

That certainly made your heart skip a beat, even though you couldn’t imagine you had forgotten it in the last ten minutes.  “So what should I call you, then?” 

“Well, just my name should do,” he laughed slightly, seeming a bit surprised by the question.  “Spouses call each other pet names from time to time, would you like that?”

You might have been able to think about that idea more clearly if his hand wasn't on your waist, petting along the curve of it absent-mindedly.  “I… don't know,” you admitted, “I’ve never really tried it.”

“It will come naturally, I suppose,” he shrugged.

“So, it is a proper marriage then,” you realized.

“Hm?” 

You wondered if you shouldn’t have said it aloud.  “I-I just mean, I wasn’t sure at first… if maybe it was all political, you know,” you admitted.  “A marriage for show, not necessarily of a personal nature, I guess.”

“If it were political, I would have been paired up with someone from another church, I imagine,” he explained, one of his eyebrows raising.  “Did you think I chose you randomly?”

It felt pretty fucking random, you wanted to say, but that would have been a little bit harsh.  Instead, you sat down on the edge of the bed (which was only a little cumbersome with your dress) and he copied you, sitting just a few feet away.  “I’m so honored you chose me, Copia,” you began, feeling a little odd about using his name so casually, “but I just… I can’t imagine why.”

“The clergy asked me the same thing,” he recalled, “but they weren’t satisfied with my answer— I’m sure you won’t be, either.”

“Try me,” you encouraged.

“Well… I saw you once,” he explained slowly, “in a Mass— I gave you communion, do you remember that?”

“O-oh, yes, I think you’ve served me the elements a few times.”

“This was the first time,” he assured, “I know, because I thought to myself she must be new, if I’d seen her before I would’ve remembered it.”

You tried not to smile too wide, but you couldn't help some reaction.  You never imagined you'd left such an impression on him.

“You looked up at me, and you just looked so sweet… I couldn’t get the image out of my mind, you on your knees before me…”

You crossed your legs tightly.  “I mean, I remember that too, of course.  But it’s because it was the first time I saw you in your papal robes— I was just one of hundreds, I didn’t even know you could tell us apart.”

“Well, you stood out to me— maybe it was fate, eh?” he smirked.  But he was the head of the clergy, the most important man in the church: he made his own fate.

“And that’s it?” you realized sheepishly.  “You thought I was pretty, or something, a few years ago and so you married me?”

“Not pretty, no— pretty is cheap, cara mia.  You were enchanting.”

Was this flattery?  It seemed too perfect to be totally genuine, but hell, he was smooth.  

“I thought of you often,” he admitted, moving closer to you, “I imagined if I might have you to myself someday… and now I do.”

His gloved hand rested on your shoulder before carefully moving up to the back of your neck; he guided you towards him, slowly and patiently, looking into your eyes for a moment but taking longer to look at your lips. 

You swallowed nervously once before letting your eyes fall shut.

The kiss was soft at first, but grew more intense with every moment; he breathed a little heavier through his nose and you could feel it against your face.

His arms wrapped around you, and it should've felt nice, like a loving embrace; it sort of did, it just also started to make you feel claustrophobic, forcing you to fight the urge to squirm out of his grasp.

You wanted to give into it, you wanted to let yourself melt into his arms… but as he held you tighter and kissed you harder, your heart started to race in a way that wasn’t pleasant anymore.

Pulling back and pushing against him, you broke away and hoped he wouldn’t be angry with you or hurt by your rejection.  Fortunately, he let you move back as soon as you tried, and looked at you with an expression more of surprise than frustration.

“W-wait, I—” you mumbled nervously, willing your hands not to shake with nervousness.  “It’s not that I don’t— we’ve only just— I do find you attractive, but—”

“We don’t know each other very well,” he finished for you.  “It's alright, you seemed nervous already.”

“Yes,” you sighed, smiling with relief.  “I just thought… maybe we could get to know each other better first, before we…”

“I didn't expect you to be so shy,” he noticed with a soft laugh.  You were keeping close watch on his tone and, from what you could tell, he thankfully didn't sound too disappointed.

“I-I’m usually not,” you assured, “maybe compared to some other Sisters…”

“Well, that's a low bar,” he noted with a raised brow, “but anyhow, it doesn't bother me.  I'm happy to wait until you're… more comfortable.”

You smiled a little, glancing away briefly.  “Thank you,” you began, barely managing to stop yourself from calling him by a title again.

“I just hope you'll stay in my bed tonight— it's your bed, too, you know.  Nothing else has to happen.”

“Of course,” you smiled, “I'd like that.” 

He nodded shortly at you and moved as if he was going to get up, but you opened your mouth impulsively to speak— even if nothing came out right away— and he stopped.

“But, um— you could kiss me again,” you suggested quickly, before you lost the nerve.  He smiled, with a certain sparkle in his eyes that made you squirm slightly against the bed.

His hand brushed under your chin gently, lifting your face until you were forced to look right up at him.  “If it would please you,” he returned with a purr.

Swallowing thickly, you nodded; “Yes,” you insisted softly.

This kiss was slower, but no less intoxicating: he touched you like you were the most fragile thing, and the movements of his lips seemed to gently guide your own.  You heard yourself sigh against him, and his thumb started to pet your jawline tenderly.

You remembered that moment clearer now, the one he described to you before. Taking communion from him, kneeling under him, waiting with an open mouth for him to deliver the mana to your tongue… the cool golden chalice against your lip and the bittersweet wine…

His other hand delicately landed on your lower back, and you opened your mouth wider, letting his tongue graze against yours.

When he pulled back, you found yourself leaning forward just for a second, chasing him for more.  And he obviously noticed, it was clear from the way he smiled down at you.  You wondered if he would indulge your desire for more— for a second, you imagined he might decide that you were more ready than you'd let on and take you right then and there.  A little brutish, yes, but the idea tickled a certain corner of your brain.

But, no, he sat up straight and let out a short breath.  “I'll get ready for bed,” he announced.  “You should too— you've had a long day.”

You nodded back; “Yes, Papa,” you returned compulsively once again.  “Damn it!”

“It seems you have a lot of new things to get used to,” he laughed.

More than you know, you thought to yourself as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

[rileyglas]

The List ~Pt. 10 - Convergence~

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader

Summary: The fight with Vox triggers memories of your life on Earth, but a familiar voice calls to you. When you wake, you find an unexpected hand has helped you but of course their aid comes with a catch. More secrets are brought to light and you must choose whose side you're truly on.

Themes: Huge warning for depictions of war/ bombings/ injuries/ death. With everything going on in the world I understand if it is hard to read so feel free to skip the ~8 ish paragraphs. The usual angst, mystery, sassiness, cursing, fluff, actual plot, mentions of blood/bodily harm, slow burn, Lucifer can't take a hint, Alastor is full of surprises, eventual smut, and of course 18+

3k Words

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 (You're on it!) Part 11 Part 12

**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader

Like a movie, you watch different places around the world flash before your eyes. Each scene, you’re surrounded by the same small group of people. A feeling of pride filled your body when you looked at them. Are these people my family? They feel like it. You knew you’d do anything to protect them. 

~~I’m here love…

A final flash puts you at an eerily familiar scene. You sit at the end of a small table, watching everyone laughing, eating, singing - just enjoying the down time together. The sound of an air siren puts an immediate silence over the tent. All eyes snap to you, waiting for your guidance. You stand from your chair, “Alright just like training guys, take your assigned positions around the camp and keep a clear - “, ringing pierces your ears as everything goes black. 

~~You’re stronger than this…

In what feels like a second, you are lying face down on the warm ground. How long was I down for? Pushing yourself to your knees, you watch blood from your face make little droplets in the dirt below you. Dust and smoke fill the air, burning your lungs when you try to take a breath. Fuck…Where is everyone? You look at what remains of the camp around you. Piles of brick, wood, and rock litter the area. The night around you is hauntingly silent, interrupted only by the occasional pop of electricity from what remained of the generators. As the dust begins to settle, you’re able to make out multiple sets of boots under rubble nearby. No…no...no…no please...

You attempt to run towards them but stumble back to the ground. A mix of dirt and blood coat the front of your uniform. Other than the pain in your side, you have no way of knowing the true extent of your injuries as a numbness washes over you. 

~~Fight…please my dear…

Sounds of tumbling brick and coughing distract you from your self-evaluation. You crawl towards the sound and find a man trying to sit up, pushing away the rubble that buried his lower body. “Thank God, you have no idea how relieved I am to - “, an involuntary gasp leaves your mouth when you see the piece of metal sticking right through him. 

He half-heartedly laughs, “I was going to make some smartass comment like - How bad is it doc? Think I’ll be home for dinner? - but uh…I think that answered my question.” Fucker always had to make jokes, even the face of death. 

“No it’s not..It’s not that bad. I just need to find my bag, I can stop the bleeding….just…k-keep talking to me.” Your hands fumble across his chest. You try to apply pressure while your eyes frantically scan the area for your medical bag, but Lord only knows where it ended up after the explosion. 

~~Please…we need you…

Warmth continues to spread under you, his blood now staining your hands and arms. He grabs your hands, stopping your efforts and gently setting them on his face, “Don’t do this - ya know how it’s going to end.” A single tear slips past your lashes and down your cheek. His breathing begins to labor, “Hey now boss lady, no cryin’. We all knew what we signed up for. This ain’t your fault.”

~~I need you…

A deafening sound fills the air followed by a blinding flash of white light.

Your eyes bolt open as you sit up gasping for air. Alastor nearly jumps out of his chair, hastily sitting himself behind you in bed to wrap his body around yours, “I’m here, dear. Breathe. You’re safe.” You try to relax in his arms while your mind reels. Was that a dream? A memory? Is that…how I died?

You look down remembering the fight with Vox. Other than a few blood stained cotton bandages, you appear to be mostly healed. “How -?” you begin to ask. Alastor tightens his grip on you, making you wince from the pressure on your still healing wounds. “Please…just…give me a moment.” he begs quietly into your neck. You feel his chest rise and fall against you with ragged breaths. If it was anyone other than Alastor, you would think he was crying. 

Gentle sounds from the wooded bayou fill the room. After a few moments, he breaks the peaceful silence, “Don’t ever scare me like that again.” he breathes through a raspy voice. You lean your head back to look up at the demon. He looked just as rough as he did that night in the tower. 

You bring your hand to his cheek and pull him into a tender embrace against your lips. He sighs into your mouth as his body relaxes. He needed to feel you, to know you weren’t gone. The corners of your mouth curl into a smile, “I don’t know how but I heard your voice…through the darkness you were calling to me. Even as I dreamt of my life on Earth.” Alastor huffs amusingly, “My dear, I never left your side. Charlie said talking to you might help. I thought it was silly really but I was willing to try anything. Good to know my efforts weren’t in vain.” 

Alastor delicately brushes his fingers through your hair, “I didn’t think it was possible to feel something worse than the initial fall into Hell, but you seem to enjoy keeping me on my toes. As much as I hate to say it, you might not have made it if Lucifer hadn’t -”

“Lucifer!?” you yell in surprise at how casually Alastor mentions him, “Why would he bother saving me?” A few taps on the door interrupt before you can get an answer. Without waiting for a response, Lucifer walks into the room, “Ah good you’re awake.” he chirps casually. 

You swing yourself to the edge of the bed in an attempt to stand but Alastor keeps a firm hold on your hips, slotting you between his legs to keep you sitting. He scolds quietly in your ear “Easy love, let’s not move too quickly. You’re still healing.”

Lucifer makes his way across the room, puffing his chest out arrogantly as he leans against his cane, “There were only a few wounds I couldn’t get completely healed but you seem to be a strong one! Of course someone had their doubts.” he glares at Alastor, lip nearing a snarl. 

He did help when he didn’t need to, ulterior motives or not I should be grateful. You muster a smile and cool tone, “Well you did wonderful, sir. I am feeling pretty good to be honest. Thank you. I suppose I owe you.” What the fuck did I just say?

Alastor exhales against your neck and digs his fingertips into your sides, making you curse at him under your breath. It didn’t help how smug Lucifer suddenly looked. He nonchalantly fiddles with his suit, “Well we do have some private matters to discuss. If you’re feeling up to it of course.” No but do I have a choice?

“Sure! What’s going on?” 

“I uh - would prefer there to not be an audience, if you don’t mind.” Lucifer shuffles his cane to his other hand. Your chest hitches at the request. I rather not be alone with this man right now. Alastor notices your apprehension, “Anything you have to discuss can be said in my company. You have quite a nasty habit of putting your hands - amongst other things - where they don’t belong.” his tone cut with such sharpness even the well collected King looked visibly uncomfortable. You feel him disappear from behind you only to reappear in a chair by the fire behind Lucifer, “You may continue sir.”

Lucifer scoffs but doesn’t speak right away. You fumble nervously with your hands as his eyes burn into you. Chills creep across your skin from the tension filling the room.

“Soooooo - what did you need to speak about, sir?” you ask wearily, wanting to get this conversation over with. “I told you to call me Lucifer,” he takes a seat next to you on the bed, “And I think you know damn well what we need to talk about.” his once sickeningly sweet voice now harsh with ire. 

Cool, nothing like pissing off the King of Hell. You try to hide the anxiety building in your chest, “Lucifer, I appreciate your offer from the other day however I am staying here. With the sinners and with Alastor. I am capable of  -”

“Yes, yes - you looked quite capable as you were dying in my arms just a few nights ago!” he bites, “Do you think you’re of any use to the people you claim to want to help if you’re dead? Do you think he will actually support you in your efforts?” his eyes dart to the demon across the room.

“Oh and you will!? You want to keep me like a pet in your little castle! Remind me, how did wanting such things from Lilith turn out for you?” 

An unsettling smile crosses his face, making a pit form in your stomach, “You tread on thin ice my dear. If you wish to take low blows, fine. You’re naive to think he actually loves you. You said yourself, he just wants to use you -”

“I was wrong. I was only naive to think you did not want to use me.” you interrupt plainly. R̷͈̈u̸̦͌l̸͍̍e̴͔̅ ̷͉͛#̸̗͒1̶͍͂ ̵̮̐B̵̬̊e̷͖͐ ̵̡́o̵̡̿p̵͎͂e̴̢̋n̷̡̆ ̵͚̋t̵͕͠o̵͔̽ ̵̺̉t̶̰͗ȓ̴̠ů̷̹s̶̩̄t̴̙̅,̸̈́͜ ̶͉̓b̶̘͗ǔ̵̮t̶̯̂ ̸̝̿n̴̳̍ȅ̷͔ṿ̵̀e̴̗̾r̸̨̔ ̵̻͒ḑ̶̾ǫ̴̉ ̴͎̉ś̴̤ō̴̩ ̴̣̒b̶͉͠ḻ̸͗i̶̳̽ṋ̷̀d̶͉͒ĺ̵̘y̸̙̕

He cocks his head and raises an eyebrow, “I - I don’t know what you mean. I - I saved you. I protected you when - when he couldn’t. Of course I would have never allowed you to get hurt in the first place.” Alastor clears his throat and shifts in his chair, using every ounce of restraint to not lose his tongue. His eyes pinpoint to Lucifer through a sharp grin. 

I’m not the only one on thin ice here. “I appreciate you helping me, truly. But I think we both know deep down…you’re scared. You’re weaker than you let on. Locking yourself away, ignoring your duties. Without Lilith you’ve become just a shell of the ruler you once were. And, not to sound arrogant, but I get the feeling you think I can somehow change that.”

Lucifer’s look softens and he takes your hand, eyes glued to his thumb tracing across your palm, “I’ll admit there’s some truth to your words. She was my strength. She knew how to lead better than I ever could. The city has gone to shit without her. But…” his other hand cups your cheek as he meets your gaze, “...you can change all of that. Standing by me, you can do so much good for our people. Isn’t that what you want?” his words seem to plead with you. You hear a crack from Alastor’s grip tightening on the arms of his chair. 

You shoot a glance at him, silently asking him to calm down. With a gentle touch, you take Lucifer’s wrist to remove his hand from your face, “I want to save souls, Lucifer. Charlie’s dream is incredible and I plan on helping her see it through. I do not wish to assist in the rule of Hell.” You say soft but stern, trying to make him understand. He stands abruptly to look down at you, “Does this demon share these same sentiments?” 

Fuck he does NOT let up. “I don’t understand. Why are you so against him!?” you raise your voice making the Radio Demon’s ears twitch. 

Lucifer kneels in front of you, tightly gripping your shoulders, “Listen to me…” Alastor stands to say something but you raise a hand to stop him. You wince as slender fingers dig deeper into your skin and the King’s voice darkens to a whisper, “He will never stop trying to gain more power. You want to save souls yet you stand by someone who would sacrifice anyone and anything to get what he wants. You help bring him to power…and he will destroy everything. You, me, Charlie…He - won’t - stop.” 

Your heart pounds against your chest, fighting against the thoughts racing through your mind, “How are you so sure about his intentions?” you squeak out. He gently brushes some hair away from your face, “My sweet girl, there are darker secrets to him than you know. Secrets, I fear, that will destroy you.”

“That is enough.” Alastor’s voice warns with a heavy static. 

Lucifer angrily stands back up, bringing you to your feet with him, “Why can’t you just trust me? Have I not proven myself enough? He will take away everything.” Your hands press against his chest in an attempt to keep him from getting any closer, “Please, stop! He -”

The lights of the room begin to flicker. Alastor grabs Lucifer away from you by his jacket collar and pins him against the wall, “I said that was enough.” he spits. The two men snarl nose to nose before Lucifer lets out a jarring laugh, “Oh-ho - so she really doesn’t know? How far are you going to try and bury the truth?” he peeks over Alastor’s shoulder to you, “See my dear this is what I mean. If he truly loved you, he would have been honest about his - situation.” 

Alastor pulls back and slams Lucifer’s smaller body against the wall again, seething through gritted teeth, “You have no right to -”

“W-what is he talking about?” You brace yourself against the bedpost and take a step towards them. Lucifer shoves Alastor off, sending the pissed off demon half way across the room. His body hits the wooden floor hard enough for the planks to creak beneath him. He half-heartedly struggles to pull himself up onto one knee, panting like a dog about to attack. 

Lucifer saunters over to you. You hear a low growl from Alastor as he watches the small King move his hands over your waist and his lips to your ear, “His soul is bound to another. He only needs you because your power combined can break him free. And what do you think he’ll do the moment he is unchained?” he breathes through a wicked smile. Your entire body tenses, both from shock and how intimately his hands run against you. 

He gives a coy chuckle, raising his voice to ensure Alastor hears him, “Come see me tomorrow. Alone. We can speak further on how you can repay me for helping you.” with a flick of his wrist his cane flies into his hand. You flinch as he presses a kiss to your cheek before disappearing behind his red ribbons.

Alastor remains frozen, kneeling in the middle of the room. His eyes stare into you while flickering between red and black dials. You can’t tell if he’s about to explode or break down. Although a hundred questions are running through your mind, you know better than to poke an already agitated bear or in this case, deer. 

In a moment where you should be angry or confused, where you should yell and scream, you instead do something that takes both yourself and Alastor by surprise. Ignoring the pain and soreness in your body, you drop to your knees in front of him and throw your arms around his neck in a tight hug. He moves his hands up but hesitates before touching you. “Wha-what are you doing?” he asks with a mixture of confusion and intrigue. 

Within an instant, a plan forms in your head. This is going to get messy. But it’s the only way to protect me…and protect us. R̶͚̀u̷͍̿l̷̦͛ȅ̸̥ ̸͔̀#̷͇̿4̶̫͝ ̴̧̌Ț̶̈ù̷̫r̸͓̃ǹ̷̩ ̸̘̚y̴͔͊ò̵͜u̸͙͝r̸͜͠ ̶́͜w̸̮̉ẻ̴͚á̵͚k̶͎͌n̵̘͛e̶̪͐s̵̜͝s̵̛̤ ̸̼̋ĩ̸̭n̴̘̈t̷͙̎o̴̡̓ ̵̩͌ŝ̷͉t̴̺̊r̴͈̍e̶̡̔n̷̝̓g̶̭̚t̴̺̓h̸̩̓ You pull him closer and run a hand up into his hair, caressing the back of his head, “You already know the questions I have and I fully expect answers. However, at this moment, I only need to know one thing…” you move away to rest his head in your hands, forcing his crimson stare to you, “...if I help you to break your deal, are you willing to keep your chains and bind your soul to me?” Your tone is serious but affectionate. He needs to know I’m not asking from a place of selfishness. Ȓ̸̤u̷̞͗l̶̫͂e̸̛̩ ̴̬͝#̴̼̒3̶̙͝ ̷̣͂K̵̜̓e̴̘̽ë̶̤́p̸̳͑ ̷̣͘t̷̥͆ẖ̸͐o̶͉̐s̷͗͜e̷̛̻ ̵̪̍y̴͎͗ǒ̴͎u̵͘ͅ ̸͇́ĺ̵̮ö̴̧v̴̩̏ę̷̀ ̷̝̋c̸͠ͅl̶̫͑o̸͈͆s̴̟͠ë̵̢́

“Yes.” he says without hesitation. His immediate response takes you aback. The last thing you expected was the ‘all powerful’ Radio Demon to give into your request without a second thought. For a moment you are left completely speechless. 

Unassured by your lack of response, Alastor places his hands over yours, “You’ve already managed to obtain my heart and my mind. The second my deal is broken, I will give you my soul. I will give you everything.” Your heart flutters at his words. 

There isn’t a single hint of anger or regret in his voice. His eyes lock to yours as he peppers kisses into your palm and down your wrist. The image takes you back to the first night you spent with him just months prior. That night he looked hungry and desperate but now there’s nothing but devotion, a silent plea for your trust. 

You can’t fight the heat rising in your face from his affection. He always has a way of clearing your mind yet clouding it all at once. You’d be surprised if he couldn’t hear the pounding of your heart from his willingness to give everything to you. Well phase one of this plan is already going swimmingly. He cocks an eyebrow at how smug you suddenly look, reading you like an open book, “What schemes are you concocting behind those eyes?” 

You lightly peck his forehead, then his nose, stopping just above his lips. A sly grin spreads across your face, “I have a plan but you’re not going to like it.” He rolls his eyes and groans, “It involves Lucifer, doesn’t it?” 

He helps you to your feet and pulls you into him. Your hands rest perfectly against his broad chest as you smile up at him without an answer. His eyes close with a deep sigh, “My dear, I already do not like where I think this is going.” he mumbles, knowing you’ve already made up your mind. 

You stand on your toes to give him a quick playful kiss, “I believe it’s time for me to go make a deal with the Devil.” R̸̢̉u̷͙̔l̷̺̇e̴̡͌ ̷̢̿#̶̠̍2̷͊͜ ̵̤̕D̷̦̐o̴̞̒n̷̠̈́’̷͔̆t̵̪̀ ̴̬̊b̸̺͋ẽ̶͈ ̴̣͘a̴͚͋f̶͔͗ṙ̶͔a̵̻̕i̸̪̾d̵̲̂ ̸̙͗t̷̛̥o̸͕̐ ̸̟͊s̵̖̒h̸͔̊ö̷͇́ẃ̶ͅ ̷̯̓y̸̭̔o̸̮͆u̴̠͐r̷͙͝ ̶͚͝p̵͔͌ǫ̷̛w̵͔͝ė̶̝r̴͎̂

Tag List (Let me know if you would like to be added!)

@rl800 @fairyv-ice @looking1016 @martinys-world @sirens-and-moonflowers 

@alastorssimp @alastorsgirl48 @mysterisumone @ohnah2022 @catticora

@eris-norwega @kaylopolis @littlebluefishtail @little-slyvixen @laudrawin 

@qu1cks1lversb1tch @diffidentphantom @rapturenyx @purplerose291 @mcntsee

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for banning a minor from a discord server?

I'm pretty sure I'm nta, since most of the server backed me up, but I am also autistic and would like some impartial judgement. I (23M) am the mod of a fairly small (~40 people) discord server. The server is focused around a character we all like, and frequently includes discussion, art, and fic related to this character, various ships, and 18+ content ranging from tame fluffy smut to much darker, dead-dove type content (largely because the original source material is pretty dark). For this reason this server is strictly 18+. We don't really have specific 18+ channels, and a few of the artists in the server are primarily NSFW artists.

I only became the (sole) mod about 3 months ago, when the previous mod/admin (who started the server) didn't have time anymore. For the most part things are very chill- I've never had to deal with any conflicts before this, the worst problems I've had are trying to keep the bots running and channels organized.

The youngest member of our server is (we thought) 18, the next youngest being 20. I recently found out through a series of screenshots that the youngest member is actually 17, turning 18 in about six months. I asked them about this in dms, since the screenshots were from their priv account on twitter (of them jokingly bragging about getting away with telling people they were 18 when they weren't). (and regardless of whether or not this was true, I wanted to let them know if someone on their priv was taking and spreading screenshots).

They got very upset at the screenshots being leaked (which is fair) but also confirmed that they were 17. I said that I was going to have to ban them from the server due to the NSFW content and they got very upset, saying I was infantilizing them etc. They also briefly tried to backtrack and say that they were just joking about being 17 and were actually 18, but stopped when i didnt believe them. I explained it wasn't about maturity-- imho if they are mature enough to handle the source material, they're mature enough to be in the server- but rather that there are potential legal repercussions for having a minor in a NSFW space. I even said that, while I was upset about them lying, I would even be open to letting them rejoin the server after they turned 18 (AFAIK they weren't lying about their bday, they just said they were a year older than they actually are to get into 18+ spaces).

They were really angry about this so I put it to the server for a vote and to let everyone know what was happening. Honestly I don't know what I would have done if the server voted to keep them in, but they voted almost unanimously to ban them at least until they were 18. I'm not on twitter anymore but I know that several of the people on there also blocked them from their accounts (since they posted 18+ art, fic, etc).

Other relevant info:

- this person didn't actually post any art or fic that was outright explicit, but they definitely participated in NSFW discussions (all fandom related, nothing related to personal lives).

- they were added to the server by the original admin--she apparently had no idea they were underage and also blocked them from her twt account.

The younger person is really upset at me and has sent me multiple angry paragraphs in dms about how I was ruining their fandom experience, discriminating against them just because they were a minor, and said that this wouldn't be an issue if we weren't all so porn-addicted. I half jokingly replied that I'm not sure how the last one could be an issue for me personally, given that I'm asexual, which they then said was problematic for implying ace people couldn't watch porn (???). I stopped replying since I didn't know how to respond and they have sent me some more messages in the same vein (I'm bullying them, all of their online friends hate them because of me, etc).

Kind of unrelated, but I don't actually know who on their priv took the original screenshots- they have ~80 followers on there, none of whom are in the server as far as I can tell. The person who sent me the pics is someone in the server, who said she got it from someone who is actually on the priv account (because she posts 18+ art and the person who took the SSs wanted to let her know that a minor was following her).

Why I may be TA: I do genuinely think this person is mature enough to handle the discussions we were having (except for the recent string of angry DMs, they've been very chill and level headed), I banned them because of legality, not morality. I also wouldn't have known about this if it wasn't for the daisy chain of screenshots that were unknowingly taken from their priv account, which idk seems like an invasion of privacy to me.

I did also tell the server all of this so they'd know why I was kicking this person, and then several people in the server posted about it on twt which apparently got the 17yo blocked from a bunch of accounts. I do feel bad and understand why they're upset- but I can't knowingly allow a minor to access 18+ content since that is legitimately illegal and could really fuck up my life.

Anyways, hopefully that all makes sense, sorry for the silly petty chronically online drama but still. To anticipate what most people will comment-- yes, I will go outside and touch grass-- but AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[sugarlywhispers]

☆–a.n; @hitoshisbf MOOTIE, I GOTCHUU♡ tho, idk if this is the turn you were looking for with his, but i hope at least satiates a bit of your need ;) also, i haven't written this fast anything LOOOL idk, i'm living for the angsty fics lately♡

☆–warnings; angst, alcohol consumption, a bit of smut in one paragraph lol, and of course swearing, because Shinsou is as bad as Bakugou.

Shinsou Hitoshi is not a man that shows his feelings openly. 

Everybody knows that.

So it isn’t a surprise when he returns to the agency from that hell of a fight, face blank, void of any emotion, eyes looking sleepy and tired like they always do. But there is something. Something about the way he is walking, the way he is breathing, or maybe call it his aura, that makes everyone flinch as he walks from the entrance directly towards the elevator.

From all the eyes he knows and feels looking at him, he strongly feels yours. He knows he shouldn’t close on himself and not seek help when he perfectly knows this is a moment to seek for help. For you.

But he can’t avoid it.

The guilt.

Another partner lost.

Another person died in his care.

More than one.

He is 32 years old and apparently he can’t take care of a sidekick half his age, who is already an adult, but still a baby in this profession. This fucking profession of being a hero. How many have already gone? How many have lost their lives because he wasn’t fast enough, strong enough, or even smart enough? How. Fucking. Many.

Hitoshi sighs when he’s in front of the door to his office, not really knowing how he got there; and when he enters and then turns to close it, he encounters the eyes of Midoriya Izuku who looks at him, worried and pitiful.

“It wasn’t your fault, Hitoshi,” Midoriya’s words feel more like a dagger stuck deep in his guts than the comfort he tries to give.

“How many, Midoriya… How many.”

And with that he closes the door and locks it. He doesn’t wait for his co-worker and friend's response. Hitoshi doesn’t need it. He knows it.

After throwing some of his equipment over the small couch he has in the middle of his office, Shinsou walks directly towards one of his furniture where he hides it. Alcohol. Rum, to be exact. He discovered –after a situation similar to this one– that the only thing that gives him a bit of comfort is the burn of the liquor going down his throat. He hates it, he loathes it completely. But he loves how the painful burning turns off his senses and closes down his gullet as the liquid slides inside his system. His ability to speak turns off, just as his consciousness.

He gulps down glass after glass after glass. He doesn’t care that he’s at work and by all ethics he shouldn’t be doing this here. But he doesn’t fucking care anymore.

He doesn’t care that once again one of his co-workers and two of his sidekicks died right in front of his eyes.

He doesn’t care that even if he got there a tad bit sooner, they could still be alive, he could have saved them.

He doesn’t care that it was his fault, because he got distracted from trying to follow one of those villains and didn’t stay to help his team.

But he does care. It is his fault. Everything.

Glass after glass after glass of rum, and he already feels the rise in temperature and the dizziness in his body. But he doesn’t care. He deserves feeling like this… This helpless and useless, because that’s what he is. A fucking useless piece of shit. Not even good at his own job. What would Aizawa say? Dad would agree with Shinsou. He’s just a fucking nuisance. He has been for everybody since his very first day at UA.

The rumble of knocks on his office’s door makes him groan. He doesn’t move, whomever it is should know already that he’s not going to fucking answer the door.

“Shinsou, it’s me,” your muffled voice sounds and he curses Midoriya’s name. He knows it was him who sent you. He always did whenever Hitoshi traveled down to the most inner dark places of his own mind.

He can’t not open the door to you. You are and will always be the exception to any rule. You come before anything and everyone, even his own misery. But, he had drank so much he realizes now he can't move his legs as he tries to stand up from his chair behind his desk. His arms and legs feel like gum, uncontrollable and useless gum, and he doesn't have the strength to even throw the keys closer to the door so you can grab them from under it and get yourself in. He knows, he had tried it, just now. Unfortunately, he just knocked a decorative vessel that sat at the corner of his own desk. What a shame, you have gifted him that from one of your trip missions.

“Hitoshi, what was that? Please, please, let me in,” your begging voice is something that stir so many emotions inside him.

He likes to hear it when he’s on top of you, buried so deep inside you that you beg for him. More, fast, harder, deeper. He loves it, to drive you that insane that only him can give you what you need.

Now, it sounds so desperate and sad, he hates being the reason too behind that begging.

It doesn’t pass too much time until the door is forced open. He regrets having locked it when he looks up and you’re there, standing with all that worry and fear in your eyes as your chest pushes up and down in puffs of air that you inhale. Oh. You forced it on your own. He feels proud of you. You have grown so much. So strong and so dependable.

He remembers when he met you, a small thing of eighteen years old, filled with dreams and hopes, that had just joined Hero Deku’s agency, where he also worked too. You had also been his sidekick for a while, before everyone –Hitoshi included– recognized your strength and power and by your twenty one years old you already had sidekicks helping you on your missions.

He was so proud and mesmerized by the person and hero you have become, he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help to feel things for you.

Your first kiss happened on your twenty-fifth birthday. Izuku had the idea to throw a surprise party after you came back from a mission in Osaka that day. Hitoshi would never forget the shine in your eyes when you entered the conference room, turned on the lights and everyone jumped yelling “happy birthday, Y/N!!” in greeting. You almost cried, and Hitoshi found that cute.

Shinsou was also known for liking his own space, so it didn’t take you long to finally find him at the balcony, alone and smoking his cigarette.

“You know, that thing kills you,” you closed the door of the balcony before walking and standing next to him.

He smiled, a genuine one, before saying, “Our work can kill us, did you know that?”

You rolled your eyes at him, softly pushing him with your shoulder, which made him laugh.

“Thanks for being here, Shinsou-san.”

“Ugh. Drop the honorifics already. Makes me feel old,” this time you laughed, and he took that as a queue to take out the little box he brought for you.

“What is this?” You asked receiving the little box.

“The villain’s teeth of my last fight,” you look up at him, not really amused and he snorts, “It’s your present, dumbass.”

“Couldn’t you just say that?” You protested, clearly exasperated by his jokes, which made him even fall for you more.

Hitoshi takes another drag of his cigarette as you open the box. It’s a necklace, not a very expensive one, with a pendant that has the form of a moon. To others, it might not mean shit, and maybe they would comment on how cheap the present looks. But to both of you, it had a significance. It signified all that time you spent together, patrolling and wandering the streets at night when you were his sidekick, given that both of your Quirks worked better at night.

You’re silent for a bit, and that silence worried him for a second. Then he saw the little droplets of your tears on the railing of the balcony where you are standing close to, and he sighed, throwing the cigarette to the ground and stepping on it to turn it off.

“You’re not supposed to cry, dummy,” his hands grabbed your face and he softly tilted your head back so he could look at your face better.

He saw the tears running down your cheeks, but your eyes looked genuinely happy. Fuck, you're gorgeous, inside out.

“It’s my birthday, I can do whatever I want,” you replied back, your beautiful dove eyes not leaving his.

“That you can.” He said almost in a whisper, his eyes darting down to your lips for a second. And when he looked back at your eyes, he saw the realization in them.

“I… Can I?” He saw your eyes do the same action he did before, and fuck, yes please.

“You can.”

You stood suddenly in your tiptoes and finally connected your lips together. One of his hands slid to the back of your head as the other went down and his arm surrounded your waist, pulling you against him even closer, lips firm against each other.

Shinsou had felt on cloud nine. He still does every time you kiss him. Every time he wakes up and sees you there laying next to him, all cutesy with your sleepy-puffy face and all. Every time you come back to him, even when he told you many times before that he isn't worth it.

He doesn’t deserve you. And you deserve so much better.

“Why did you lock the door?” Your voice sounds angry, but also worried.

Hitoshi looks down again to his desk where he finds the bottle of rum almost finished. Wow. How much time has passed since he got here? The dizziness and the constant burning in his throat doesn’t let him think straight, or do the maths. So he immediately disposed of that thought. He won’t be able to find the answer either way. But he can tell that, by your worried expression, it’s been long. I mean, the almost empty bottle in front of him says much too.

“Shinsou,” you call him again. And by his surname, which means you are angry too.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asks in a murmur, his voice sounding so rough and deep he barely recognizes it like his own.

He then feels hands, small delicate hands, that hold his face and turn him to the side. They feel so soft, so sweet as the thumbs caress his cheeks that he closes his eyes, feeling that knot in his throat so tight is about to explode and make him bleed til he dies.

Hitoshi takes a faltering breath as he feels your forehead press against his.

“Let’s go home, love,” your gentle voice says and he feels like crying now.

But he nods and lets you help him up.

You’re his home. So he will go anywhere with you.

When Hitoshi wakes up the next day, he feels like a truck ran over him. Bones and all heavy, his head pulsing with pain that makes him want to vomit.

He remembers vaguely what happened. And he remembers you dragging his stupid and sorry-sad ass to the apartment. With Izuku. Midoriya helped you bring him home. How embarrassing.

Hitoshi finds the strength to sit on his bed, after seeing that your side of the bed is empty. That’s weird, but it doesn’t surprise him. It is just time you finally see the scum and worthless ass he is.

He rests his elbows on his knees, holding his head with his hands. It hurts, realizing that he lost you. Hurts more than anything. How fucking hypocrite of him. Yesterday, he was moping about the death of his team members, swearing that what he felt was pain. Nothing compares to what he’s feeling now.

The tears slide through his face before he has a chance to stop them.

He never deserved you. He doesn’t even deserve to be called a Hero.

He feels like a fucking loser.

“Hitoshi?”

Your voice makes him look up instantly. And in two long strides you’re kneeling on the floor in front of him, arms around his neck.

He immediately returns the hug. And cries. Like a fucking child.

But this is you, he can do this with you. He can be vulnerable with you.

“You stayed.” He cries, feeling like a wounded animal that needs help.

But somehow, he is. Wounded. In pain. And you’re his savior, what he needs to heal.

“I’m always going to be here, love. I choose you, and I will always do.”

The fingers of one of your hands slides in his hair as his whole body shakes in his cries.

“You have to stop doing this. Nothing that happened was your fault, and if you don’t believe yourself, believe me.” You back away from him just a bit so you can look into his eyes. “Believe me when I say that it was not your fault. And believe me when I say that it’s time you stop this behavior.” He knows you’re talking about his drinking habit from this past months.

“I choose you, but you have to choose me. Or… I don’t think I’m going to want to stay here to see you lose yourself. It hurts me too much, Hitoshi.”

That gets his attention completely.

No. He can't lose you. He won’t lose you. No. No. No.

You're the one crying now, and he’s the one that pulls you up so you straddle his waist and hold your face very close to his.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I won’t… I’ll be good, I’ll be better for you, I promise.” He chants like a prayer as he kisses every part of your face as he can.

You shake your head, “No. Be good for you, be better for you. Because you deserve it. You deserve to be happy, Hitoshi.”

He doesn’t believe it. Not yet anyway.

But he believes you. He loves you. And if to cherish you how you deserve means he has to believe he’s good, he will.

He will be good for you. And with time, for himself too.

[shadowsingercassia]

Hey everyone!

I was writing a long fic (editing it for the forth time) and was very curious about how many followers I had. So, I went to check and I am 1 follower away from 100 followers and I just want to express my appreciation and gratefulness for all of you in this post! 🥹💕

Firstly, I would like to say a thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout this journey of my fanfic writing! ❤️❤️ (also big thank you to the people who have taken the time to read my fics, it means so much to me! 🥰🫶)

I feel like The Gate To Home series just needs its own paragraph, so this is a thank you to every single person who has read, liked, commented, reblogged, or obsessed over this series! 💞 (chapter 5 coming out when I edit it, *cough cough* again 😃) I also can't believe the series is almost to an end 😭🤚

Another paragraph specifically for my moots because I love you all! Thank you so much for all you have done I can't even begin to describe how much you all mean to me!! 💗

List of thank you's:

Thank you to everyone who is in my taglists (general or series) ❤️

Thank you to my moots ❤️

Thank you to the anon (if it wasn't for you, witch reader would probably have ended up with Azriel but im very glad that somebody actually expressed their opinion about this and helped me decide that witch reader ends up with Rhysand!) (But also thank you because this was actually my first inbox message I have received and I am beyond grateful that you took the time to send a message to me about one of my fics) ❤️

Thank you to @anarchiii because you've been incredibly supportive and I just love you and I feel like you deserve a special thank you ❤️

A few other people who deserve a special thank you:

@blessthepizzaman (your comments always make me smile! 🥰)

@lilah-asteria (one of my first followers that has always had kind things to say about my fics, thank you for that! 💕)

@shadowsxgwynriel (first follower, love you and your fics are just mwah 🫶🥰)

People who have been my inspirations:

@azrielslittleslut (I can't, your fics are amazing and you have inspired me so much 😭💞 also you write Azriel so perfectly whether it's fluff, angst or smut 🤭)

@really-fanny-longbottom (Your fics are incredible, I will fight people on this, and your writing has inspired me so much 🥰💗)

@prythianpages (Cassianxlovewitch love it, Azrielxgreenwitch love it, Erisxchaoswitch I know I'll love it even if it's not out yet, all of your fics, I love them, you're an amazing author and a huge inspiration for me 💕💕)

@daycourtofficial (more in love with your writing than with fictional men 😌💖 reading your fics had made me want to write more and evolve as a writer 💗)

@anarchiii (Your worlds apart series is breaking me apart, tearing me to shreds and yet I'm loving every second of it! I love your fics so much and you have encouraged me to keep writing The Gate To Home series when I felt as if no ideas were flowing and honestly I could write a whole essay about how thankful I am for you 🥹❤️)

There are so many more people that I want to thank, so I will just say thank you to everybody because as much as I want to, I can tincture everyone and I'm sorry 😭)

Also, lastly, guys I need ideas on what to do once I hit 100 followers (because unless it's a plot idea, my creativity kind of sucks 😀)

Love, Cassia ❤️

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 01.25.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

scent of eager suds - @rkivian (knj x reader | smut, angst, pwp, fluff)

summary: you missed each other, too fucking much. but your head had stayed down in futile hopes of remaining stubborn, forgetting that there is a wedding ring on that tricksy little finger of his for a reason.

so..... genuinely convinced you are the reincarnate of shakespeare babe bc like:

"He would spend a considerably scant amount of time on such a task, yet fulfil it so thoroughly that the constant aching between your legs seemed more equitable than you would like it to be."

LOOK WHAT YOU DO WITH WORDS!!! like everything is so precise. i can tell there's so much thought put into every single word of this piece and woah.. the writing is fucking stellar, seriously. like just the words you use throughout this displays how the reader feels about being vulnerable with joonie: cruel, vengeful, venomous. u put pwp but like you characterized the fuck out of this reader and it's so good...

also... this is thee kim namjoon. like as someone who is v much similar to the reader and self sabotages relationships, ppl who love you enough to recognize that trait and do their best to prove u wrong

AND YOU DID THAT ALL THROUGHOUT THE FLITHIEST NASTIEST SEXIEST SMUT EVER PLS HE'S SO HOT LIKE HE TRULY JUST WANTS TO MAKE HER FEEL GOOD INSIDE AND OUT AND IM GATEKEEPING HIM!!!! this was so so so beautiful and thank you for sharing with plebeians like me :') &lt;3

the one where jin is drunk off his face and you get friend-zoned - @indgio (ksj x reader | fluff, crack)

saf everything you write just comforts my soul. it's missing jin hours around these parts and this is exactly want i needed. i don't know how to explain it but this gives me run episode vibes? like... this is legit kim seokjin. I COULD TOTALLY PICTURE HIM DOING SOME SHIT LIKE THIS LMAO WHAT A SWEET BABY!

also love this oc fr. like from the opening paragraph i could already tell she's the most adorable, most precious being, and you proved it throughout the rest :') <3 taking care of ur drunk partner trope will never not get me and you did it so splendidly ugh will definitely be coming back to this when im sad and 3am and missing my seokjin :'( thanks for this ily <3

"tell me more about this girlfriend of yours."

but jin looks at you with a frown, as he downs the water. "no. get your own."

^also for whatever reason this took me tf out lmao

the one where jungkook will always protect you, even from the fictional - @indgio (jjk x reader | fluff, humor)

bby istg your writing is so... refreshing? like i always think i need these super crazy, convoluted, heavy plots for my fics to be good, but your writing is proof that doesn't have to be the case. your writing is so effortless, yet so beautiful. like once again, genuine comfort content that i don't see too much of anymore. going through your masterlist has really inspired me to take a new avenue, because your fics are just so fucking addicting. i just love the slice of life vibes so much uGh okay enough nutting over u and onto the fic sehfbjsehbdhwb

pov ur saf in my brain BC THE AMOUNT OF TIMES IVE DAYDREAMED ABOUT THIS EXACT SCENARIO IS MENTAL ILLNESS (was just picturing binge watching AOT w him :'))

this jungkook is such a golden retriever ass boyfriend my heart can't take it. the banter ?? the protectiveness ?? THE BITING THE EAR ??? naur im in love it's settled. adding him to the list of fav jungkook portrayals on tumby. will be thinking about him when im bored in the back of my lecture tomorrow. thank you for daydream fuel &lt;3

stfu yes it's wednesday get off my back >:'( i posted this early last week and was just trying to even the timing out that's all... im lying. anyways, love u lmao

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hey my Tumblr Peeps😃👍While this fanfic was originally going to be a Choso fanfic, however I decided to write a fanfic and have Rensuke Kunigami, instead (apologies ahead of time with character replacement for this fanfic, ahead of time 😅)... I really had a hard time figuring out what to do with the fanfic without cancelling it, so I just decided why not make changes with the fanfic and even add some stuff to it including genres⚽💡

*This fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

🧡⚽Rensuke Has A Plan To Reassure You In A Different Way, If His Truthful, Words Don't Convince You This Time⚽🧡(Rensuke Kunigami x Female Reader)

Genres: Possible Angst, Possible Comfort, Smut (Warning +18: Praise Kink, Nipple Play, Nipple Licking, Nipple Sucking, Oral (Both recieving), Vaginal Penitration, Language, Brief fingering, Nudity, and Mentions of deep throating (and depending on the reader's imagination if there's deep throating)

Your life has been dreadful on and off. You were in your shell often and have been timid, especially on the social media (sites and/or apps) you go on and in your personal life with friends and family. You just felt obligated to prioritize everyone else's happiness over your own happiness and well-being.

One day, you met a man named Rensuke Kunigami in a night club. He sensed that you tend to keep most of your opinions to yourself just to avoid confrontation and to keep others happy and you even go far as not telling people that your offended about something just to keep them from being offended themselves, so he decided to exchange cellphone numbers with you, as he hopes to try to get you out of your shell. After a few cellphone calls, going on a few dates and you attending a couple of football matches (which some people refer as, soccer games) that he was in, the both of you then decided to have a relationship together.

Since you started your relationship with Rensuke, your life has changed and for the better. You have been saying your opinions more, you have been taking better care of your well-being, you have been focusing more on your happiness (than you used to), and you have been a happier person than you ever remember being. You just couldn't imagine your life without him.

There's just an issue or so with your relationship with Rensuke... He has been very sex starved (and ofcourse you are too), since atleast the last few games and neither of you knew when was the last time you had sex with him (which is frustrating for the both of you (more him)). If that's not enough, on top of that while your self-esteem was getting better, you still had some issues of your own, considering some negative stuff that happened with your past relationships, to the point where you felt like you're the most unlovable person ever, because of most of your past relationships ends with your exes dumping you and having you be the last to know. The worst part is no matter how much reassurance he gives you, you just felt he will always find a reason to leave you somehow.

One night after Rensuke took some time off from football (which some people refer as, soccer) to spend time with you inside the house he shares with you now. While he's decorating the bedroom the both of you share together to make tonight a special night for the both of you, you went inside the room and asked, "Rensuke, are you sure you love me? Why have you put up with me, as long as, you did? And what in the hell do you ever see in me?", as you're trying to hold your tears back. He tried to reassure you, as he answered, "Ofcourse I love you, (female reader name). With putting up with you... Out of my love for you and you're very easy to get along with... Plus, you're very sweet to me... And I see alot in you, my sweetie... It's just that, there's so much more that I see in you, than I could explain...". You replied, "I guess I just never know what to think... I know I'm ready for the relationship... It's just the abandonment issues I'm trying to get over is very hard not to let get to me... I still get in the back of my mind where you would find a reason to throw me away, like I'm a horrible monster, one day... I guess part of my problem is that, I tend to be self-loathing at times... I just was used to being abandoned, where there's always fear that I will always be unwanted...", before you went to hug him tightly, as he hugged you back. That was when he had an idea that might give you ultimate reassurance to prove to you that you're more lovable than you believe yourself to be when nothing else has been able to keep you convinced.

"Would you like to lay in the bed, beautiful? There's some stuff I would like to do with you, if you don't mind, babe...", Rensuke cooed, as he changed the subject. You then stopped hugging him, as you then took your clothes off and stripped yourself completely naked before going to the bed to lay down on. All Rensuke did was stripped himself, while leaving only his boxers on so far, as he's holding on to his tie that he was wearing. "Let me know, if I'm hurting you, sweetheart, because I rather not get rough on you, unless you tell me, until we get to the finale...", he cooed, as he walked to the bed before getting on top of you, as he the proceeded to tie your wrists together with his tie, he was holding.

After Rensuke had his tie, tied around both of you wrists, he teased, "Hmmm... What should I do first? Should I suck on your amazing tits, first? Or should I have some fun with your beautiful, clit?", as he lightly touched your clit, to get a light groan leaving your lips before he continued, "Decisions, decisions... What to do first?", before he grined down at your pussy knowing he was going to eat your pussy out first. While he was licking your pussy, he did madesure he licked at the bud of your pussy, knowing full well you would moan out his name and the fact that your bud is the most sensitive part of your pussy. A few minutes later he started sucking on your pussy, while licking your bud, only this time he was licking it non-stop. "Oh fuck, Rensuke... You know I'm sensitive there... Why did you have to go lick my bud...", you moaned, as your legs started twitching, you were about to release yourself inside his mouth, and your face started to turn red out of pleasure of him eating your clit out the way he did.

Once Rensuke stopped eating your clit out, he briefly used both fingers inside of your pussy hole, as he replied, "Knowing your bud is very sensitive is why I licked on it, sweetie... You deserve some extra pleasure... Aaaaawwwww... Look you face is blushing red for me... Did I pleasure your pussy that much? You have such an amazing pussy that I couldn't tell how pleasured you were, until now... Don't worry, my angel... We're just getting started...", before he took his fingers out of your pussy, then played with both of your sensitive nipples... He could tell you're overstimulated from him playing with your sensitive nipples, however he also notices you're holding your moans back. He then teased, "Why hold back, sexy... There's no need to... I'm taking care of you... I want to pleasure you... Besides... Your breasts are the only breasts I want to see... So if you're going to hold back, I might as well overstimulate your tits more...", before he licks both of your nipples, then proceeded to suck on your right nipple.

You really enjoyed the sensation of Rensuke sucking on your right nipple for a few minutes to the point where you couldn't hold back as you moaned, "You did amazing on sucking on my right nipple... Could you suck on the other nipple like you did with the right nipple, please...". He notices from the tone of your voice that you're no longer holding back your enjoyment of getting overstimulated, as stopped sucking on your right nipple, then he answered, "Ofcourse, my sweetie... Anything for you... Both of your tits are very sexy and I planned on sucking both tits anyways... Even if that isn't the plan, still... Anything for you, babe...", before sucking on your left nipple the same way, as he sucked on your right nipple. You were overstimulated from getting your left nipple sucked on, just as much as you did with your right nipple.

After Rensuke got done sucking on your left nipple, he said, "I have a question, (Female Reader Name)... Would it be alright, if I put my cock in your mouth? I will try to be gentle and there will be deep throating, but only if you want... Or if I do it accidentally...", before taking his boxers off, as he is now completely naked. "Ofcourse, Rensuke... I honestly wouldn't mind, your dick in my mouth, actually... I seriously have been waiting for a while to suck on your cock... And I'm perfectly fine, if your cock is deep in my throat...", you answered, trying to hide your smirk on your face. When he got the hint that you consented to sucking on his cock (even if he was on top of you) he put his cock inside of your mouth, as he tries to be gentle with riding your face.

Minutes went by, as Rensuke keeps thrusting his cock, as gently as he can, while he's noticing the expressions on your face, giving him the impression that he's doing a good job, even if it was his first time riding your face (with his cock in your mouth). He then groaned as he praised, "I see you really enjoyed my cock riding inside of your mouth, (female reader name)... It also seems like your mouth took my cock well... I guess you meant what you said about wanting my dick right inside your mouth... You look, so beautiful... With my dick in your mouth and also without my dick in your mouth, as well... My cock just felt good inside your mouth... You're doing amazing, my love...". (Up to reader's imagination, if there's deep throating in this fanfic)

Once Rensuke is done feeding you his cock, he moved back to your legs to kiss your thighs, before he moved both of your legs over his shoulders, inserting his cock inside of your tight pussy, as he begins to thrust himself inside of you, while holding you thighs. As Rensuke groans from the feeling of your tight pussy around his cock, he was still able to focus the expressions (and blushing) on you face and your whimpers leaving you lips, showing him that you're really getting your enjoyment from him thrusting his cock inside your overstimulated, tight hole. He smirked, as he moaned, "I see that getting your tight hole enjoys taking my cock in... I can tell you get overstimulated from what has to be your most favorite part of our sex time, my brave queen...", before moving your legd off his shoulders, then opening up your legs, as he continued, "But let's see, if I could could go deeper inside you...", while he continued thrusting deeper inside your pussy.

A few minutes went by, as Rensuke keeps thrusting his cock inside your already worn out pussy. You were, so cock drunk, where you the feeling of his cock inside of your pussy.... When your pussy was first tight around his cock and Rensuke spreading your legs to get his cock deeper inside of your hole. All you could do is whimper, "Oh fuck, Rensuke! Please keep fucking me! Don't stop please!", as your begs gave Rensuke the hint to keep fucking you, until he atleast cums inside of you, despite of your pussy has been worn out. He then had your legs wrapped around him, as he started to thrust inside of you harder and faster, while the both of your were locking lips together into an extremely heated kiss to reduce the loudness from his moans and your whimpers.

Once Rensuke emptied himself inside of you, while making sure his cum stays inside of your pussy hole, he unties his tie where you can move you hands freely again, so you can touch both sides of his facial cheeks. He then asked, as he whispered, "Did I give you enough reassurance about the fact I will never leave you, my cutie?", as he moved 1 of his hands on the same side of one of your facial cheeks. "Yes, Rensuke... I see your point... I think you reassured me enough... Now I know I won't have to worry about being left behind, as long as we're still together...", you replied in a whisper. He then replied back whispering, "That's good to hear... And (Female Reader Name)... I love you...". You then whispered once more, replying again, "I love your too, Rensuke Kunigami...", before the both of you kissed eachother's lips, then the both of you looked into eachother's eyes, until you and Rensuke fell peacefully asleep.

⚽🧡The End🧡⚽

Okay my Tumblr Peeps, I hope you enjoyed this Rensuke Kunigami smut fanfic I have written😁👍I just really wanted to write something for this particular fanfic, I figured why not write it the way I did...🤔😃👍I figured that this type of fanfic I have been working on would fun to write😃👍The fanfic took me a long time to complete, even tough I originally was going to write about Choso😅And again apologies for the character replacement😅

[galacticgraffiti]

✧⭒・ Liberation ・⭒✧

!!! NSFW / 18+ / MINORS DNI !!!

Pairing: Elia Kane x f!reader Rating: Explicit (in short sequences) Wordcount: 3.7k Descriptors: I've tried to make the reader's physique as neutral as I could. Reader is described as having female reproductive anatomy. Reader works as a cleaner/spy (?) at the Amnesty compound. CW: moral conflict, obviously Elia is ex-empire, lusting after The Enemy™, exposition for smut with some explicit paragraphs containing vague-ish descriptions of wet dreams and female masturbation.

I try to make my Descriptions and Authors Notes as short, comprehensible and informative as possible. Please tell me if I missed anything or there is any problem!

Big thanks go out to my lovely beta readers @ulchabhangorm and @baba-fett who edited my first draft (I've got some surprises added in for you hehe). Kisses for you both for the help and encouragement. ♥

✦⋆ Main Masterlist ⋆✦

༻༺༻⋆༺༻⋆༺༻ ⋆✦⋆ ༺༻⋆༺༻⋆༺༻༺

Liberation

Chapter 1: The Fall

You’d seen her around. Of course you had. She knows everything about everyone, just as she did back in the day. Or so they say: Elia Kane, right hand to Moff Gideon. 

The thought makes you shudder. The fucking Empire, of all things. You should have hated her - and you did. By the gods, you did, even when that short cropped hair shone in the sun, and that smooth voice sounded across the courtyard. Even when her polite glances in your direction started to somehow feel more intent, and when you began to wonder if you were just imagining the sparkle in her eye when she passed you in the hallways of the compound.

In the beginning, she never noticed you. Why would she? You were but a nuisance in her existence - a human doing a job that droids could do better. Again and again, that had been the argument in the wide halls of the New Republic’s bureaus: Droids clean better than humans. Better than nearly any living creature.

And again and again, your boss had fired back: Droids let other things slide. Droids don’t understand behaviour the way we do. Droids won’t know what a messy bed means, crumpled sheets with sweat stains. Droids won’t care who sneaks into whose room after dark, who comes back smelling of spice and who comes back with the satisfied smirk of a lothcat who has had their cream. Droids don’t see glances and whispers the way we do, droids don’t pick up on the important subtleties of human behaviour.

“Employing people to sort through droid footage is less effective than just sending my cleaners in the first place.” That was the big argument. And up until now, it had always meant you kept your job. Your boss was very good at their job, and you were good at yours. You believed in the New Republic, and you believed you could do some good. Even if it was secretly babysitting former employees of the galactic Empire.

And so, you were here, cleaning the barracks of ex-imperials. Sorting through their dirty laundry, taking note of bathrooms that were too tidy or too untidy, of rumpled sheets that spoke of nightmares, of closets that contained things they weren’t supposed to. Walking about without arousing suspicion was your job. 

You’d never liked the word “spy”. That made it sound like your work was way more important than you thought it was. What were these imperial fucks gonna do – play a game of Sabacc they were not supposed to? Gamble away their meagre belongings? Break out to get illegal glo-treats meant for children?

Some of them did. You’d watched them do it. Hells, you’d followed them more than once yourself. It fascinated you deeply, how their behaviour changed on and off the compound. But even if it was bad, nothing ever came of it. A few were stupid enough to get caught. Elia Kane never did.

You were indifferent to the small disobediences. Those were just part of human behaviour. In your eyes, it was more concerning if someone followed all the rules without question. After all, wasn’t that how the Empire had gotten into power in the first place? If sneaking out for sweets was the worst that these bastards did, you would count yourself lucky.

Elia wasn’t the worst of them - she was the perfect Amnesty Programme soldier, in fact. At least on the surface. Rule-obeying, glowing reviews from her weekly droid interviews. She knew just what to say and how to package it. And that made you suspicious as all hells. You’d brought it up to your boss, but they’d shrugged it off as nothing time and again. And still, the more you watched her, the surer you were that Elia Kane was up to something, and that that something was not just glo-treats and Thrandoshan Poker. What it was, you could not say. But you intended to find out.

On the next cleaning cycle, you called in some favours to get yourself assigned to Elia Kane’s room. Something had to be there, something that told you enough about her to know what was wrong. Why her eyes flicked over you a little too carelessly, why she raised her voice when she spied you across the yard as if to say: “I’m here. Look at me talking about the weather, because I have nothing to hide.”

Most of all, you hated what your friend and colleague had reiterated over and over again: That there might be nothing wrong with Elia Kane at all. That you were paranoid, or - and that was the worst part - that you were attracted to someone you despised.

And despise her you did. You despised the aura of being untouchable that still surrounded her even in this exile, the perfectly cropped hair, the cords of muscle that ran down her way too tan arms. Despised the air of arrogance that she carried even now that she had fallen so far. Despised the way she tipped her hat and greeted you every time like she knew exactly why you were here. She couldn’t know why you were here. To her, you were just the cleaner. And still, it seemed like her performance was that much more careful when she noticed you around.

Elia Kane had a secret. You were sure of it. And for the last few weeks you had been trying your very hardest to figure out what it was.

You’d found lots of small things: Red Biscuits from imperial travel packs, which were rare goods so many years after the fall of the Empire. Packets of Sabacc playing cards that were forbidden on the compound. A civilian shirt, but lots of imperials in the programme had those to work out in. You had even seen her wear it in the courtyard, doing pull ups. That sight had gotten to you. It was the first time you had seen her out of uniform, her usually neat hair so messy, strands in her face, and her cheeks reddened. You had told yourself to get on with your work, but somehow ended up cleaning the same spot of windowpane until Elia finished her set. You’d told yourself it was just a coincidence. And it was – next to her were a few other formerly high-ranking officers. You had to make sure they weren’t talking about things they were not supposed to be talking about!

That lie felt stale on your tongue even as you had told it to your friend. They had laughed in your face, and you’d thrown Mantell mix at them in revenge for their stupid ambiguous comments.

Your most, well, interesting find in Elia Kane’s room was a very old, battered magazine with some… spicy pictures that made your cheeks feel warm. The centre fold was faded from being touched so often. It showed a beautiful Twi’lek woman, her long lekku the only thing covering her body, her eyes focused on you with a dark intensity even after all these years since the magazine had come out. You had stared at the centre fold a little too long. Elia Kane did not seem like the kind of person who would have things like this. This magazine must have been against imperial regulations even back then. A small act of rebellion, then. The first hint of a real personality. You cherished that find because it gave Elia Kane a sense of humanity that you had missed up until then.

At night, the thought of what this magazine meant had bloomed in your mind, and it had sprouted in unwanted directions: The image of Elia Kane on her bed, the magazine opened next to her as she writhed underneath thin sheets had stuck in your head, and you hated it.

You hated that your mind remembered as you slid into bed alone, and you hated that the image followed you to your dreams. That those dreams had made you wake up breathing harshly, hot and sweaty, with an old familiar stickiness between your thighs. And you hated that you could not get the image that your brain had conjured out of your mind until you’d let yourself sneak your hand down to your pussy, dipping into the slickness of your arousal. Hated that it had been to the image of her glowing cheeks and cocky smirk that you came, and that you had to suppress a moan of her name.

You hated Elia Kane. And you knew her - gods, you knew more about her than you’d known about your last girlfriend. You knew the official statements, you knew her interviews and her job postings – imperial as well as the ones she now had – you knew what size clothes she wore, knew that she had remaining family members in the outer rim that no longer spoke to her. Knew which interplanetary holidays she celebrated and which ones she didn’t. And as much as you hated to admit it - she was interesting.

You kept telling yourself that, of course you were interested in a professional capacity. It was your job to be interested without being interesting. But when she greeted you in the hallway of the compound with that lopsided, knowing smirk, all you could feel was your cheeks heating up in a decidedly unprofessional manner.

This had been all the interaction you ever had with Elia Kane. Until today.

***

You are turning down the bed when she walks into her room - barely a warning, only a few second after you hear the beep of her keycard at the door. Not enough time to get out, just enough to turn to some vaguely inconspicuous activity.

She’s not supposed to be here. She’s supposed to be at her current job posting.

“Hi there,” she says casually, her voice dry but friendly. She doesn’t seem surprised to see you.

“Hello.” Your voice cracks even in that one small word. You clear your throat. “I’m sorry, there must have been a mistake in the schedule. I’m not meant to disturb the residents.”

There. Perfectly neutral, professional answer.

Her eyes burn into yours. You definitely don’t get goosebumps from the intensity of the stare. The open door must have let some cold air in. Elia Kane smiles at you.

“My apologies. I was not feeling well and got sent home early. You couldn’t have known. There is no need for you to be sorry. The mistake is all mine.” Her voice is smooth, the kind of smoky smoothness that makes you shiver.

Awkwardly, you pull the bedsheets into place to step back and away from her. You’re a professional. Elia’s eyes follow you intently.

“I’ll move on to the next room. I’m so sorry for the interruption.” Your voice is friendly but detached. It took you ages to perfect, but gods, was it worth it. Elia’s brows shoot up at your words.

“Don’t apologise,” she says, a little impatiently. “I’ve already admitted the mistake was mine. Finish your duties, I won’t be in your way.”

You don’t know if it’s the commanding air that surrounds her, or the opportunity to study her closer that makes you pick your work back up. You are not supposed to work with subjects around - in an unlikely situation like this, you are supposed to politely excuse yourself and resume your duties the next day.

Right now though, you are watching Elia Kane take a seat on the spacious chair in the corner of the room and, without any hurry or embarrassment, open a magazine she grabs from the drawer of the side table.

It’s not just a magazine, because of course it isn’t. The galaxy hates you, apparently. It’s the magazine, the one whose cover you recognise, the one whose contents you know all too well because they are etched into your mind.

The question whether she thinks this is appropriate reading in this situation dies on your tongue as you realise you cannot reveal that you know what kind of magazine this is. The cover picture is fairly inconspicuous at first glance. It’s always been neatly stashed away when you came in - never once a reason for you to have seen it except if you were going through her drawers. Which you had been, obviously.

Elia Kane suspects this, and you know that. You know that because if you were in her position, it’s what you would expect. But you cannot reveal that, cannot confirm that her suspicions are true. She is waiting for you to slip, and then she will eat you alive.

You realise you are still staring at her, when an amused smile plays around her full lips. She’s looking right back at you. Fuck.

You nod to yourself and sort out your thoughts. All the other rooms are done - only this one is left. You swear you can feel Elia watch you as you sweep the floors, shake out pillows and clean the windows. Yet, every time you look over at her, she seems deeply engrossed in her… magazine.

Minutes tick by, and you nearly sigh in relief when you are finally done, even though it’s not even been half an hour. You are good at all your work – not just the interesting part. You are detail-oriented and efficient. Your boss has always appreciated that.

“I’ve finished,” you announce, and turn to the door. Better to get out sooner than arouse even more suspicion, better to flee the scene that to dawdle and invite unwelcome questions. Within seconds, Elia is up from the chair, stepping in your way. 

Your breath hitches as her presence fills your personal space.

“Let me help you with that,” Elia says calmly, her breath on your cheek as she leans forward to press the button that opens the door to her unit. You bite your tongue at her smell - surprisingly, she smells warm, a bit like the Coruscanti gardens. Not the sterile starched linen smell you’d always imagined.

You scold yourself for imagining anything at all.

“Thank you,” you manage to mutter before you hastily gather your cleaning utensils and flee the inviting narrowness of Elia Kane’s doorway.

“Until next week!” she calls after you, and it is only on your way home, squeezed on the speeder train between a large Nautolan and a furry mess whose species you don’t recognise, that those words fully register. Next week?

***

The next time you walk into Elia Kane’s unit is indeed exactly one week later. You are about halfway through cleaning – and snooping – when you hear the hiss of the door.

A mix of anxiety and relief floods you - you hadn’t been sure whether her words had been an odd reflex, a taunt, or an honest promise. Actually, you are still quite unsure.

“Hi there.” Her voice is softer this time around. Maybe you did catch her by surprise last week after all. Compared to the relaxed calm that emanates from her this time around, last week’s encounter suddenly seems tenser than it used to in your memory.

“You’re back.” Your voice sounds carefully neutral. “Not feeling well again?”

“Bad headache,” she offers and flops down onto the bed. Her neat hair fans out in short wisps around her like a halo, even though you know she is as far from a saint as you can get. You know that. Right hand to Moff Gideon. Maybe if you repeat those words in your mind often enough, this… infatuation will fade, and the disgust will take over again.

But as she lays there, inspite of her quite impressive physique, she suddenly looks rather small and fragile. Like a discarded toy.

“Ah.” You hesitate. Professional. Polite. “Would you prefer to be alone?”

Her head turns towards you nearly imperceptibly.

“No,” she sighs. “You don’t disturb me. I find you quite calming.”

Her words poke at your heart. Surely, she’s making fun of you. She must be. You have been called many things – positive and negative alike, by subjects and colleagues and ex-girlfriends. Calming has never really been among the number one descriptors.

“Hm,” you finally answer non-committedly and turn back to your task at hand. You clean the room as quietly as you can, careful not to disturb her. That’s what a good, professional cleaner would do. You tell yourself that it has nothing to do with the way that her dark hair looks so stark against the sand-coloured pillow casing that her face seems pale and her cheeks a little hollow. That the way she curls up like a lothcat doesn’t tug on your heart.

She shivers in her sleep, and when you notice, you gently pull up the freshly washed blanket to cover her. Elia mumbles some indistinct words before settling down again. She snores a little. Somehow, that makes her feel more real than she ever has before. Elia Kane reads dirty magazines and snores in her sleep. A droid would never find that important. Maybe you should not either – these are not things you should know, if you are being honest with yourself.

Your mind entrapped in your little moral dilemma, you finish up your remaining tasks mindlessly, but no less thorough than usual.

When all is done, you wager one last look at her. Elia Kane is still asleep on her bed, her chest rising with deep, steady breaths beneath the thin blanket. What strange interactions you two have had lately. She looks so peaceful that you can’t help but try to shush the door as it hisses open.

There is a stir, then a voice comes quietly, raspy with sleep.

“See you next week.”

This time you know she means it.

*** 

Weeks pass like this. You should report it, but you don’t really want to. You are so close to building something that might be enough that she lets something slip - or at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. Deep down, you stopped believing that long ago. Every little thing you learn about Elia makes her more interesting: You learn that she has never been to a holovid showing, that she likes tea better than caf, that she actually does read quite a bit – the compound has an extensive pre-approved library. You don’t talk about her past.

Superficial chatter about the weather and about the programme turn into longer conversations while you clean. She comes back every week, her excuse always a headache or migraine. If she’s lying, she is a very good liar indeed. As long as her workplace doesn’t care, you don’t either. Sometimes she just sleeps, but mostly, she sits in her comfortable chair and talks while you work. She doesn’t pick up the dirty magazine again, and you wonder if it was a test that you somehow passed.

Life on Coruscant is another innocuous subject of conversation. It’s very different from any other planet you have ever lived or even visited. No rhythm like there is with most planets that have day and night cycles. Everything is open, always. Traffic does not slow down at night. And there are no plants in the wild anywhere, a fact that still befuddles you. It feels unnatural – and you guess it is. Coruscant is the most artificial planet in the whole galaxy. Elia agrees with you, and you land on how you both miss the smell of real flowers here on Coruscant.

“It truly baffled me when I first came here,” you admit, scrubbing down the mirror next to the door. Elia looks at you in the reflection when you go on, a small smile on her face. “I had never been to a planet this tightly populated, nevermind the astounding lack of flora and fauna. It was quite the culture shock. I think every minute I didn’t spend working in the first few months, I spent in the Coruscanti gardens. There are a few parks and gardens across the planet. I’m very lucky to live close to one. It helped me feel at home. The air bubbles around them help keep the fresh air contained. I thought the gardens would be busy, but it seems not everyone has the same intense desire after fresh air that I do. It’s beautiful there, even if there is artifice and design in the way things grow. I still appreciate the effort.”

Elia’s teeth are bared when her smile widens.

“You know,” she says casually but carefully, “we’re allowed to leave the compound if it’s in the company of a vetted person who is not part of the programme. They only just introduced the law. It’s supposed to help us reintegrate into galactic society.”

The implications of her statement hang heavy in the air for a second before you gain back your countenance. You turn away from the mirror to look at her, your arms crossed as you ponder a reasonably neutral answer.

“Oh, really? That sounds like a lovely idea.” Ugh. Basic. But you don’t want to agree to something you aren’t sure is the truth. Maybe she is just trying to use you. “I bet that will help very much with integration. Sometimes, those pencil-pushers do have good ideas.”

There. A vague slap on the New Republics wrist to make her feel more comfortable. Gods, you are good at what you do.

Elia looks at you, her smile a little emptier now. She seems quietly disappointed and for a second, you despise yourself for always assuming the worst of people. Moff Gideon’s right hand. Right. Right. She is the worst of people.

Or at least, she used to be.

When you look up the new law on your holopad later that night, sure enough, it appears that Elia told the truth. Huh. Who would have thought.

Something tugs at you, and that night, you turn and turn in bed until you give in to the impulse. You call your boss. And the following week, you have a surprise for Elia Kane.

༻༺༻⋆༺༻⋆༺༻ ⋆✦⋆ ༺༻⋆༺༻⋆༺༻༺

>>> Next Chapter

HELLO MY DARLINGS i hope y'all are still here i know it's been a WHILE. elia tickled my brain just the right way to have some Ideas, so here you go!

@cyarbika @deewithani @ficsbynight @kote-wan @ariadnes-red-thread @rescuethewretched @twistedstitcher27 @kakashibabe02 @writingbylee @purgetrooperfox @basilbumble @witchklng @lackofhonor @ashotofspotchka @sailor-blossom @misogirl828 @amyroswell @darkjedipoptarts @pinkiemme @sleepingsun501 @fett-djarin @samanthacookieone @tortor-mcgee @corrabell @lady--kenobi @elegantduckturtle @felinaone @palpipeen @wild-karrde @kik51199 @sharpbarnacle @obeydontstray @rain-on-kamino @nomercyforthewarrior @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @thefact0rygirl @everythingyouwanted @equalityforcats @cagrame @ladykatakuri @snakerune @shadesofshatteredblue @100lxtters @damerondala @tachyon-girl @rintheemolion @pickleprickle @mando-amando

[sinsandsweetness]

Torment (sex and zombies- chapter 10)

pairing- {Rick x fem!reader}

summary- Rick never wants you out of his reach. Like ever.

warnings- 18+ content, MDNI! smut, bathtub sex, use of shower head?, overstimulation... **also reader sustains a gunshot injury (just typical twd violence) so skip the first three paragraphs if you don't want to read descriptions of pain.

Thank God for Michonne. Otherwise, you'd have bled out under a tree in no time.

She picked you up and helped you both run off into the woods, fighting off walkers with her sword as you held on to her like a crutch. Your leg burned and your jeans were completely coated, slick with your blood. Finally, when you were as far out as she deemed safe, you stopped to rest. To fix you up. Michonne did her very best by cauterizing the wound. With your knife and a small fire she set in the tiny, abandoned, gas station convenience store.

It hurt like a bitch.

You'd never been shot before. Of course Rick had, and so had Carl. But they never described the pain in an accurate way. It wasn’t even that bad initially. At first it felt like a hard punch to the thigh, probably due to the adrenaline coursing through you and the urgent need to move. To run. But as soon as things had calmed down, you started to seriously contemplate amputation. You’d lost a lot of blood, and it was hard to stay awake. Your entire upper leg was on fire, burning and aching as blood seeped through your fingertips.

"You have to let me do this." Michonne was holding your knee down, and had already cut your pant leg off. "As long as we can stop the bleeding I think you'll be okay. It went clean through." She gently pried your hands off your leg. The sight of your wound, and the sheer amount of blood coating your hands and body made your stomach churn. You squeezed your eyes shut and groaned at the thought of the hot metal approaching your skin. 

"I think I'm gonna pass out."

When you woke up your head hurt, your leg was bandaged and you were in an old pair of cargos that Michonne had found for you in a car right outside of the store. 

"Shit," You rubbed your eyes awake, and then the back of your head. A goose egg had formed from your little fall. "How long was I out?" You asked as she handed you a bottle of water. Taking a few small sips, trying not to down the whole thing.

"About a day." She looked like she wanted to cry.

Seeing her expression jogged your memory. Quickly making you realize where you were. And more importantly why you were there.

"Did you see- did anyone else-" 

"I don't know."

Oh my god. Rick. Daryl. Judith. Everyone's faces flashed in your mind and suddenly you wanted to cry too. 

"They had to. I- the bus left, they- ohmygod. Maggie, she was nearby and- Rick. Did you see Rick?" You hated that it was the only question you really needed answered. Obviously you cared about everyone, but seeing what you saw happen to Rick after his speech about how you could all live together, made your eyes sting. You wiped your face and moved to get up, wincing when you put some weight on your leg. immediately weak and dizzy when you tried to walk.

Michonne called your name and grabbed your arm, pulling you back down, onto the floor. "He was alive. Hurt, but alive. He went to find Carl and then- I don't know I saw you and..." 

"We have to go find them. Any of them. There has to be more than just us. Right? I saw the bus leave I-" You were frantic. Michonne shushed you and pulled you in close. Holding you tight as your shaky breaths turned into real tears. "We have to..."

"I know sweetie, I know," She ran her hand through your hair and let you lean into her. Let you process the pent up emotions you'd been scared of since the start. "We'll find them, but first you gotta rest."

--------------------------

The next few days were hell. If you didn't have Michonne, you couldn't even begin to wonder where you’d be. Probably groaning and rotting alongside one of the many walkers that had attacked you both in the woods. The sound of all the gunshots and explosions had practically attracted a hoard. Thanks to Michonne, you weren’t forced to become a part of it.

During your search, the two of you kept switching attitudes. Like a rollercoaster of emotions, one day she’d be full to the brim with hope and by the next day, empty. And you the opposite. As if only one of you could have faith at a time. 

"We would have found someone by now." She told you from over her shoulder, stepping over a tree branch and warning you it was there. Eyes fixed in a permanent scowl.

"We don't know that." You tried being positive. But it was hard. It was humid and hot, and the walkers were abundant. Your kill count had honestly doubled since you left the prison yard. Machete blade slick with guts and your clothes smelling like dirt and copper.

It wasn't long until you needed more rest.

You had found some water. Enough for the two of you. You rested in a minivan for two whole nights, and the sleep did wonders for your leg. It still hurt when you touched it, but you could easily put more and more pressure as the days went on. The two of you continued to move, circling to the highway, into the woods and back out. Trying to find a sign of anyone you knew. 

Eventually you came across a town, which seemed like a decent place for anyone to hole up. And with the days you'd been traveling on foot, a suburban family home was a dream come true. 

While taking care of a walker, you heard your name called from the porch of a house. Looking over at Michonne sporting a genuine smile. Tears welled in her eyes. You approached slowly, and she started laughing when the door opened

You were frozen. Unsure if what you were seeing was real, or just a figment of your imagination. Maybe you had died of blood loss and this was your afterlife. Seeing Rick open up that front door. Bruised and bloody and beautiful as ever. 

When you stepped inside, he pulled your face into his shoulder, hugging you so tight you could barely breath. Not that you minded. If you died in his arms you'd be a happy woman.

But you weren't dead. And neither was he. Hurt, yes. But not much worse than you. 

You felt his chest move beneath your fingers. A silent sigh of relief, before he gently pressed a kiss onto the side of your head. 

"You look like shit." You whispered into his shirt. All he did was huff a quiet laugh and pull you even closer. 

The relief was written on all of your faces during dinner that night. Smiles and giggles over dry cereal. A game of cards and a whole lot of comfort.

Rick made a game plan for you all. He figured if the four of you had gotten out, there was a really good chance that the others had too. Now it was only a matter of actually finding them. You'd all rest in the house for a couple more days, scavenge for some food, and then head out. Try and meet up with anyone. Maybe try tracking the bus. It wasn't a clear or solid plan by any means, but it was something.

There had to be others, and if there were, you needed to find them. To find the rest of your family.

--------------------------

"Did she go to sleep already?" You could hear Rick ask someone from the hallway. Michonne answered that you were drawing a bath, and told him to let you get some rest.

"She's had a rough few days." A muffled goodnight and a door shut behind her. 

The water was warm. Not hot. But it was better than nothing. You poured some bubble bath into the water stream, its sweet bubblegum scent immediately filling the little room. Whatever upper middle class couple lived in the house before had left tons of goodies. Hygiene products, toothpaste, and shockingly well fitting clothes. You'd already helped yourself to their closet, picking out some sleep shorts and a tank top. Plus some new jeans and a long sleeve, making sure to pack some extras into your bag along with some other essentials. As you unbuttoned your pants and started to slide them down your thighs, you heard three soft taps on the bathroom door. Looking up, Rick pushed it open slightly.

"Hey," he glanced up at you and then to the floor. Giving you a little privacy.

"I was just gonna wash up before bed." You told him, wincing slightly as your waistband reached your bandage, just above your knee.

He looked back up and his eyes widened at the site of your injury. You immediately wished he hadn't seen. Now he'd be worrying about it all night.

"Ohmygod," He came over and tried to help with your pants, moving you to sit on the small vanity stool near the tub. He knelt down and unwrapped the gauze around your thigh, enough to see the gunshot. Looking up at you with lips parted in disbelief.

"I just got caught in the crossfire. It's really not as bad as it looks." You tried to reassure him but he shook his head. But it was true. You felt a lot better than it looked.

"I tried, I really tried- Fuck, I just..." He ran a hand over his face. Stressed at the thought of you hurting. Slowly, he sat up on the edge of the tub and dipped his hand in, drawing a circle in the warm water. Then shut the tap off. 

"Here," He started at your t-shirt, lifting the bottom. You raised your arms and let the man undress you. He looked worse than you. There was no reason he should be helping you get undressed. He was just as hurt. More even. When you first noticed the cut on his nose and the bruises under his eyes, it hurt your heart. And his sad, glossy eyes didn't help either. Despite your curiosity, you didn't even try to bring up Judith. To ask what happened. Not when he seemed so damn broken already. 

"Rick you don't have to-" 

"I do. Okay just let me- let me take care of you, just for right now." 

You nodded reluctantly and let him help you. Allow him to distract himself from the guilt of you getting hurt. Something that wasn’t even in his control. He unclipped your bra, peeled your panties off and took down your hair. You stepped into the warm water, immediately feeling a wave of relief. Clean warm water. You had dried blood covering your legs since the convenience store. You didn’t even know how many days had passed, you weren’t keeping track. You laid back, wetting your hair and running your hands over your face, washing the sweat and blood away. 

Rick watched you from the edge of the tub, tongue darting out to lick his cracked lip. The thought of him seeing you bathe made you blush and dip your head under again. Not that he hadn't seen you naked already, it was just never like this. So… intimate. He smiled sweetly at your bashfulness and handed you shampoo, then conditioner, and a comb. Once you felt clean, you drained the bloody water and started running some more. Warm and fresh. Dipped yourself back in again, hiding your body beneath the water, soap suds surrounding your knees, exposed to the air. Rick dipped his hand in the water again, swirling it around some. His touch made its way to your leg. You looked up at his pretty blue eyes, pupils dilated and giving you that familiar look. So sweet and so very suggestive. 

It was hard not to notice the stiff tent in his jeans. 

Your breath hitched as his hand moved to your inner thigh, carefully avoiding your other injured leg. He stayed like that for a moment, hand massaging at your sore muscles. His touch making your body ache for more. You were already naked, he just had to catch up. “I still can’t believe we found you,” you told him, bringing your hand up to meet his other arm, holding on to the side of the tub. You started playing with the ring on his finger, then moved to his watch, tracing the face of it with your nail. He loved it when you touched him so mindlessly. The way you would play with the buttons on his shirt, or tap and trace the buckle of his belt. Light, feathery touches of attention that never failed to send sweet tingles down his spine. 

“Me neither,” he watched your hand trace at his watch. “Makes me never wanna let you out of my sight again,” the hand on your thigh moved even lower down, fingers brushing your clit. You let out a sigh and Rick licked his lips. 

He rubbed your clit slowly with his thumb, fingers teasing at your entrance under the water. Warm hands on your clean, wet skin. 

"From now on I want you within my reach. At all times." His voice was low but it was an order. Even in his sweet and teasing nature, he was dead serious.

“I’d be okay with that.” You rested your head back against the wall of the tub and closed your eyes. Escaping into the feeling of Ricks touch. He pushed his fingers inside of you with ease, your pussy practically pulling him in. His long digits curled to hit your sweet spot. Over and over and over. You moaned quietly and unintentionally as his thumb continued to message messy circles on your clit. The combination made your breathing become laboured. Your hand went to his forearm, nails digging in.

Fuck, you were already close. 

When your breath slowed down and the grip on his arm become even tighter, he could tell you were right on the edge. And then he stopped.

Your eyes shot open and you looked up at him in shock. “Why’d you stop I was-” so close. So fucking close. And he just stopped, completely ruining your orgasm.

“Always so needy huh,” He teased with a smug grin.

"Rick seriously-" you whined.

"You’ll come. I promise. Now just lay back." He pushed on your shoulder gently and then grabbed the detachable shower faucet from the tub and turned it on. He fidgeted with the thing for a moment and turned the nozzle to a jet setting. His hand disappeared under the water again to press the powerful stream up against your clit. A little surprised by the feeling, you let out a sound and he shushed you.

”Wouldn't wanna wake any one up now, do you?” 

You shook your head and closed your eyes. The feeling of the water pressure against your clit seemingly taking over every pleasure receptor in your body. It was such an intense feeling. Just a fragment away from being too much. 

"Hold that right there for me," He grabbed your hand and forced it around the handle. You obeyed with enthusiasm. Little whimpers escaping you from the pleasure. 

He moved his own hand down, and back inside of you. Even wetter than before, he picked up where he left off, curling and pumping at a perfect pace. 

You tried to suppress the moans and whimpers but you failed miserably. Rick kept his eyes locked on yours, making you a little nervous but still turning you on even more. You bit your lip, trying to quiet yourself.

"You okay there sweetheart?" Rick smirked. You glanced down at the veins in his arms. Extra noticeable as his forearms flexed, working you into a writhing mess. 

The whole thing brought you to climax quickly and without warning. A tiny cry escaped your lips. Rick leaned over, taking the back of your hair in his hand and pulling you in for a kiss. Sparks washed over your core and through your body, hot and euphoric. You could actually feel the walls of your pussy convulse around his fingers, and the water against your clit was suddenly way too much. You pulled away from the pressure and his hand, sinking further into Ricks kiss. But his hand caught your own, and pulled the shower head back to your cunt.

"It's too much- I can't-" you tried telling him against his lips. Which was useless. Probably because making you a sobbing mess is one of his favourite things to do. So he continued to hold it against you, despite the evident tears starting to form. Shaky breaths escaping your lips.

"You can handle it." he said leaning back, unconvinced of your objections. 

A sob erupted from your core as the second, slightly painful, orgasm washed over you. Hot and intense and too much to handle. You gripped the sides of the tub with both hands so hard that your knuckles turned white.

“That’s it, you’re doing so good for me baby,”

"I'm- uh-" You tried to speak but no words would form, just a drawn out whine. You even tried forcing your legs shut but Rick was quick to shut that down. Clicking his tongue, his hand coming up and spread you back out, holding the shower head against you until you came for a third and final time, crying and shaking and overstimulated as all hell. The muscles in your legs burned and your abdomen started to spasm. 

When he finally let up and removed the device, you slammed your legs shut, hand going straight to your cunt, attempting to alleviate the borderline painful numbness.

"Fuck," You whispered. Rick let out a quiet laugh and shut the water off, hand moving to your legs once more and gently squeezing your thigh.

"Too much?"

You gave him a death glare but all it did was make his smile grow. 

"C'mhere." He got up and grabbed a towel, holding it out in front of him. You slowly stood up, legs shaky from the torture you were forced to endure. You lifted your arms up for him and stepped out of the tub. He wrapped the towel around you, tucking a corner in so it would stay up. He leaned in and kissed you softly, while his thumb rubbed circles on your jaw. 

"I would do that all night if I knew it wouldn't break you." He whispered.

"How do you know that didn't break me?" 

"Well you’re standing, for starters."

"Barely." you shot back.

"You could have handled one more." A smug look crossed his face.

You huffed, "I'm a crying mess, begging you to stop, and you think I could take one more?"

"I think I could pin you down right now and make you come again. Have you screaming my name, and begging me to fuck you."

"I don't scream."

"Oh you scream. I know you scream because I've made it happen-”

"Shut up," you smacked at his arm and stepped back. He laughed quietly as you went for the pile of clean pyjamas you had folded on the vanity.

"I'm only teasing,” He sounded apologetic. Sincere. “I just missed you is all." He lifted your chin and stepped back into your space. He kissed you slowly and the butterflies in your stomach helped you admit that he was probably right. You really fucking loved it when he would pin you down and have his way with you. Never letting up until you were a crying mess. And every single time, you'd just end up wanting more.

Grabbing your shorts from the pile, he helped you dress. Pulled the tank over your head and brushed the hair out of your face. 

"Wrap that up, put some polysporin on it. There's some in the medicine cabinet." He ordered, pointing at your thigh. You did as he told, while he sat watching you from the edge of the bed, taking off his boots and jeans. Peering in from the suite attached to the bathroom. When you finished, you brushed your hair, and your teeth, and walked over to him. Planting a sweet kiss on his cheek and a quiet 'goodnight’ before you walked towards the door. 

He pulled on your arm, stopping you. "Nu-huh. Where do you think you’re going?" he asked. You raised an eyebrow. 

"Always within my reach, remember?" He reminded you, pulling you towards him and onto the bed. 

There was already a pool of wetness forming in your shorts, and you knew that once he locked that bedroom door, it wouldn't be long before his cock was shoved deep inside of you, with a hand clamped over your mouth.

[hanasnx]

more - first time you call indy 'daddy' in bed, it's because he asked you to. was fucking you so hard your toes were curling and your eyes were rolling, seeing not just stars but the whole wide universe behind your eyelids. you're folded in half, knees grasping your shoulders in a impossible position that indy puts you on cus for the sake of fucking you real nice and hard, indy has the ability to change reality, your body does exactly what needed to have him bullying n abusing your cunt. he's groaning low, thighs slapping, you can almost taste his cock in the back of your throat, "c'mon, baby, call me that again- i know you like, can feel you getting tight on me now" and you just fucking know what he's talking about, know what he wants. when indy is so absurdely close to your core (you think he reaches for you soul when he sticks his dick in any of your wholes - it sure feels like it) you know you can't deny him a thing, so you find in you to cry out "daddy, fuck, dad, please, fuck"

that was my contribuition to society. now we'll have flying cars and shit. - 🌟

i saw god in this inbox message star non. i saw god. what do i even say other than i’m biting my lip n shit. i love it when you call me daddy <33 if i was quoting my favorite parts id be quoting the whole paragraph. this is insanely hot like god i am loving my birthday. indy x reader smut for everybody im stuffing everyone’s holes .. oh my god star anon you’ve got my dick hard, my stomach flipping. this shit is crazy

[ghoulsbounty]

any fanfic hot takes ?? 👀👀

I'm not sure these are hot takes, but as an avid fanfic reader since the age of eleven, I have a few irks! These are just my personal opinions/preferences and aren't targeted at any one person or intended to offend.

fics without smut are beautiful and valid. fade to black moments are sometimes more sexy and impactful than a smut scene.

that being said, if there is a smut scene then i like it with obscene amounts of description. give me every jaw dropping, filthy detail.

toxic ships in fiction are fun.

i click off a fic automatically if: they use y/n, the new speaker/new paragraph rule isn't followed, and if the fic is one big block of text.

i don't like au's. i've maybe read a couple that i've enjoyed, but generally i find them too ooc.

if an author says that they haven't proofread their own fic, or specifies that they haven't written a summary because they suck at them? automatic eyeroll. if you can't be bothered with your own work, why should i be?

kidfics. honestly so many of them are unrealistic and you can tell people either don't have children in their lives or haven't researched child characters. not every child is cute and well-behaved, and generally, 3 year olds don't sound like philosophers.

leave people's ships alone. i don't understand the audacity that people have to think that they can send abuse to others or reblog/tag posts literally tearing down ships. if you don't like them, don't interact. let people enjoy themselves. use the block button.

your version of a character is valid. headcanons are not canon, they are fun and give an in-depth look at how an author perceives a particular character.

when someone says 'why is no one talking about this?' in reference to something that happened in canon...when literally everyone has talked about it (not fic specific but it irks me)

write what you want to write. read what you want to read. leave the rest alone.

long fics aren't necessarily better. there are some amazing short fics that still stick with me to this day.

it's okay if you haven't received a comment on your fic that you posted literally two hours ago.

i don't mind that my fics have so many more likes than reblogs/comments. i get that it's just how Tumblr is and honestly it's okay. i appreciate every interaction on my fics, but i really love comments for the conversations and feedback. like, knowing what you liked about the fic? how it made you feel? worth everything.

i honestly don't care if your fic is beta read or not it means nothing to me.

it should be more popular/accepted for writers to be tipped for their work. like ko-fi or something similar, the same way fanart is.

writing dialogue in heavy accents. like every word or every other word is accented and I can't understand it. it kills the flow of the fic for me.

[flowersforbucky]

Do you have any general advice for someone who wants to post their writing but is scared to? I write a lot. But I have never posted on tumblr or anywhere else. I don't know why but I'm so nervous to.

had to add a keep reading link because i ended up rambling way more than i originally intended to 😅 sorry if this isn't helpful or isn't the kind of answer you were looking for but here's a summary of my experience with writing/posting on tumblr and some general tips -

i completely understand being nervous. i feel nervous every time i post my writing. i'm always worried that people won't like it, that it'll flop, etc. when i first tried posting bucky fanfiction about 5 years ago, and when i posted eddie munson fanfiction a couple years ago, just about everything i posted performed really poorly. i had a couple pieces that did alright but for the most part, just about everything flopped. and it was very discouraging, i would let it get to me too much for sure - i'd wonder how other people got their work to get so many notes so easily when nothing i did seemed to help.

so when i started writing/posting for bucky again a few months ago i was really nervous, since i hadn't had much luck in the past. i decided to give it a shot anyway, and told myself that i'm doing this for fun, and if people like what i put out then great, and if not then i wouldn't let it get to me because at the end of the day i'm doing this for myself, because i want to.

everything i've posted for bucky the last few months has surpassed my expectations, truthfully. i don't really know why all of my one-shots have performed so much better this time around than when i first tried to write for him back in 2019 - maybe my writing has improved? maybe i'm just getting lucky and posting at the right times? maybe it's the fact that i write more smut than i used to and the fandom seems to love that? maybe a little bit of all of those things? i'm not 100% sure, but i'm happy to give you some tips that i think work for me, at least.

also disclaimer i definitely don't think i've been doing this long enough or am a "big enough" writer within this community to even be giving advice LMAO but since you asked!!

i usually post on wednesday or friday evenings and i've had good interaction on both of those days, however fridays have been the best and i think i will be sticking to friday evening posts for the most part in the future

i usually post between 7:00 - 10:00 pm eastern time, most often around 9:00 pm - if the time you post doesn't seem to work well, try a different time with the next post

tags tags tags! add the most relevant tags first, and avoid adding tags that are irrelevant. so when i post for bucky i add tags such as the following: bucky barnes x reader, bucky x reader, bucky barnes, bucky barnes x you, bucky barnes smut, etc

write a brief summary for the piece that will draw people in but not give tooooo much away. also always give appropriate warnings

use the "keep reading" feature. to be completely honest, if someone posts something that's 500+ words and they don't use the keep reading feature, i'm instantly going to get annoyed that it's clogging up the feed and scroll past it lol. i personally like to insert the "keep reading" link a couple paragraphs into my fic so that people can read the first tiny bit of it and (hopefully) be interested enough to click the link and keep reading.

don't be afraid to reach out to other writers in your fandom and initiate friendships. i know this can be super intimidating because they usually already have mutuals that they are close with but what's the worst that can happen with trying? most people here love making new friends/mutuals and want to be supportive of new writers, though i know it doesn't always feel like that. not everyone that i've followed/interacted with has followed me back but a lot have!

tease snippets of upcoming fics before posting them (and make sure to add a bunch of tags so more people see) to help people get excited, draw in new followers, etc. pick a few lines of dialogue, or a specific paragraph or whatever, that you're particularly proud of and screenshot/copy & paste it and post it and basically say hey here's a snippet of an upcoming fic! i don't always do this but i like to on occasion

lastly, and this piece of advice won't necessarily help your writing perform well notes wise, but i think it's important to remember: write and post what YOU want to write and post. this is a hobby, this is supposed to be fun, and you are not getting paid for this. if you don't want to write smut, DON'T write it just because it's popular and you feel like you have to. if you don't want to write reader inserts and prefer OCs, then write an OC. if you prefer writing one-shots and drabbles over multi-part series, then write one-shots and drabbles! of course readers are going to have their preferences and that's fine, i have my preferences when it comes to reading fanfiction as well, but it's not your job to appeal to every reader out there. it's your job to enjoy this hobby as much as you can and write things that you're proud of.

[bi-lavelent]

Lone Wolf (Quinn Fabray x Fem-reader part 9)

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Bullying, Cussing, Homophobia, Sexual Assault, Rape, Smut

I walked into the school. I saw Rachel and walked over to her.

“Hey do you know where Finn is?” I asked her

“No, I actually don’t.” She said

I saw my sister (Hope) and Santana talking to each other and I walked over to them.

“Hay do either of you guys know where Finn is ?” I asked

“No the last time I saw him he was holding Quinn in his arms after you and Puck fucked up her life.” Hope said

“I didn’t fuck up her life. Puck did I told sue to keep her on the team and when she took Quinn of the Cheerios; because, she thought the dude she went on one date wanted them to be exclusive and then walked in on the dude making out with the person he works with. It pissed her off and took it out on everyone and I yelled at her and have gone against her. I’m just looking for Finn because okay when I was pregnant. Money was a big issue so I have more than enough money for Quinn but she won’t talk to me so I will give it to Finn and make him the hero.” I said

“God your to nice.” Hope said

“I agree” Santana said

“Okay well I will catch up with you all later I’m gonna find Finn” I said

I finally found Finn leaving Cheerio practice that afternoon. I didn’t realize that Santana,Hope and Brittany were near by listening in on the convo.

“Hey, Finn” I said

“Hello, What do you want?” He asked

“I just wanted to give you this. Give it to Quinn from you she’ll really appreciate it.” I said

“What is it?” He asked

“It’s 14,000$ in cash.” I said

“How did you get this is dirty money.” He asked

“No Finn it the money that I have been saving since I was 8 to leave Lima. You and Quinn need it more than me. I still got this year and next year to find a way to leave Lima. You guys need this money right now. You guys and your family don’t deserve to go into debt over a mistake that you guys made. Your still kids.” I said

“Thank you Y/N, You know I don’t understand why everyone in Glee dose not like you.” He said

“What?” I asked

“Nothing forget I said anything.” He said

I handed him the packet and walked away everyone in Glee dose not like me. That made since as to why they were talking bad about me the other day.

That day in Glee club. We were all sitting around everyone was talking and I was doing my favorite thing listening. I just with that I usually had popcorn but Glee gossip was boring. Then Mr.Schue came in

“Alright guys we’re doing a new number for sectionals. I know that pop songs have sort of been our signature pieces but I did a little research on past winners and it turns out that judges like songs that are more accessible stuff that they know uh standards, broadway.” Mr. Schue said as he passed out papers

“Defying gravity I have an iPod shuffle dedicated to exclusively selections from Wicked this is amazing.” Kurt said

“Do you think you can handle it Rachel?” Mr.Schue asked

“It’s my go to shower song and my ringtone.” Rachel said

“Why do we have to go all vanilla on this song see what we need is my chocolate thunder.” Mercedes said

“Look don’t have time to re-arrange a song for you Mercedes Rachel is singing it. Don’t worry will find something for you to dip in chocolate.” Mr.Schue said

“Oh on item two the school won’t pay for the special bus we need to take Artie with us in his wheelchair to sectionals”

“W W W W what”

“That completely unfair”

“Doesn’t that count as a form of discrimination that will get hundred of government funded organizations on this school’s ass in hopes of shutting them down. Like ADA. The us goverment has laws stating the following Article 7 page 15 section 2 paragraph 1of the American Disability Administration A school May not refuse to allow a person with a disability to participate in a service, program, or activity simply because the person has a disability. A school Must provide programs and services in an integrated setting, unless separate or different measures are necessary to ensure equal opportunity. A school Must eliminate unnecessary eligibility standards or rules that deny individuals with disabilities an equal opportunity to enjoy their services, programs or activities unless “necessary” for the provisions of the service, program or activity. Schools Are required to make reasonable modifications in policies, practices, and procedures that deny equal access to individuals with disabilities, unless a fundamental alteration in the program would result. A school Must furnish auxiliary aids and services when necessary to ensure effective communication, unless an undue burden or fundamental alteration would result. A school May provide special benefits, beyond those required by the regulation, to individuals with disabilities. A school May not place special charges on individuals with disabilities to cover the costs of measures necessary to ensure nondiscriminatory treatment, such as making modifications required to provide program accessibility or providing qualified interpreters. A school Shall operate their programs so that, when viewed in their entirety, they are readily accessible to and usable by individuals with disabilities.” I said

“I’m sorry how do you know this?” Mr.Schue asked

“What I wanted to be a powerful politician when I was younger. It was my dream job so I memorized a lot of laws. It was like music to Rachel.” I said

“Okay well as fun as it would be to test your knowledge. Unless you can get ahold of the government and get them to come here.” Mr.Schue said

“Actually they have their Ohio office right outside Lima. There main building in Ohio were you would go to file a complaint against a company or a person or whoever is located in Columbus.” Artie said

“Okay well that is 3 hours away.” Mr.Schue said

“I will totally go there after school. I’m staying at a hotel in Columbus anyway.” I said

“Wait why are you staying in a hotel.” Mr.Schue asked

“Because she got into a fight with our mom and got kicked out of the house.”” Hope said

“Nice going yes my mom kicked me out of the house and yes I’ve been living in hotels. No Puck I haven’t hired any hookers or prostitues.” I said

“How’d did you know I was going to ask that? How’s she know I was going to ask that.” Puck asked

“Because you are extremely predictable.” I said

“Anyway your living in hotels” Mercedes said

“Yes I don’t really have anywhere else to go. My mom got mad because I brought her to rehab to hopefully get clean. My dad is always working. But know that my moms back from rehab the second she got home she had found it was me who sent her and she went ballistic.i don’t know if she’s been drinking when I got home three weeks ago I walked in and all my stuff was in bag and boxes and my clothes were in suitcases. So I have been staying wherever I can. Some time I just sleep in my car.” I said

“Y/N do you need some support you know that Mrs.Pillsbury can help you.” Mr.Schue said

“No I am fine I would have gotten kicked out this summer when I turned 18 anyway. It’s not a big deal.” I said

“Yes it is” Mr.Schue said

Everyone agreed except for Rachel

“Can we get back to Arties problem and the song and stop focusing on Y/n’s pathetic life.” She said

I just stayed quiet as Mr.Schue and everyone looked at me.

“Okay let’s finish this up” Mr.Schue said

“So if the thing that Y/N suggested doesn't work will have to raise money to pay for it ourselves.” Mr. Schue said “See when I was in Glee club and we need money for regionals we did a bake sale.”

“Your joking right bake sales are kind of bouje.” Santana said

“so people stopped eating delicious sugary treats.” “It’s not that it’s that most of us don’t know how to bake. I find recipes confusing.” Brittnay said

“You find everything confusing” Puck said

“Shut it Puck you find breathing confusing” I said

“Yeah you find walking to class confusing” Santana said

“My family is fully committed to take out.” Rachel said

“Yeah Mr.Schue things are different than when you went here we got homework and football and teen pregnancy and lunch.” Finn said

“Can’t Arties dad just take him.” Mercedes asked

“ I can’t believe how insensitive you are all being are you a team.” Mr.Schue said

“Ofcourse but Artie understands don’t you?” Quinn asked

I knew that it was finally time to speak up

“You know what you all shut up Mr.Schue don’t act like you are not insensitive to. Maybe this is just who you all are you guys make me feel like shit every day including Artie. Do you wanna know why I was on sues team I didn’t make since well I have autism okay and I’m tired of all of you guys taking about how we are lower than the special Ed kids on the popularity pyramid or we looked like we stepped off the short bus. You all make me feel worthless and like shit everyday. Okay I can make you feel the same way make me and Artie feel. Rachel you have made out with Finn twice and gave him a boner in the auditorium before the Cheerios even joined Glee right and they you told Rachel in the hallway you don’t know who you love same thing you told Mr.Schue wife.” I said

“Okay that enough” Finn said

“Oh really another thing Finn you think it’s okay to call people Fags. I heard you call Kurt one the other day in the hallway. Most of you think that calling him or anyone else in the school that is okay to do well that me tell you something Kurt might not fight back but guess what this LESBIAN right here will and I can beat the shit out of all of you.” I said

“Y/N stop we get that your going the a lot but you’ve crossed a line. So stop or your gonna be kicked out” Mr.Schue said

“Schue don’t get me started your wife yeah the one carrying your child. She really isn’t pregnant she had a hysterical pregnancy and is wearing a fake bump and is trying to buy babies to keep you from knowing the truth. If you don’t believe me ask Quinn she told her that she’d give her the kid but done blame her she’s a scared child your wife is physcopath and also Mrs.Pillsbury like you and you clearly like her so before she gets married to the coach leave you pathetic wife and get a semi normal person.” I said

“Y/N stop you can’t act like this at school.” Hope said

“Oh I’m sure everyone will love to know why the Cheerios are actually here. If I’m not wrong you’re here to end Glee. On sues orders. Right well maybe you’ll think about what you’re saying before making people feel like shit again. Also I’ll drop the 600$ off in Figgins office for the bus you’ll all need Artie if I’m not there.” I said as I got up and exited the room leaving everyone yelling at each other. For the news I just spilled.

As I made it out to my car. I started to break down and Cry. I finally stopped when I heard a banging on the door I was expecting to see someone from Glee to yell at me probably Quinn I had come after her the hardest. Which hurt to do but everything was true. As I looked up I saw Santana

“Let me in” She said

“Fine” I said as I unlocked the doors the second she sat down I relocked the doors. “Well that was one way to try to end Glee club. With the truth.” Santana said

“That wasn’t my plan I didn’t want to destroy Glee club anymore I wanted to make Sue pay for kicking Quinn off the team. I just couldn’t take it anymore and then I ended up hurting Quinn more than Sue did.” I said

“Look I texted my parents asking if you could come live with us they said yes and I really think that you’re gonna need some people after you went off on all of them.” Santana said

“Can you drive?” I asked

“If I’m with someone over 18” I’m close enough

“What if we get arrested.” She asked

“The only person who’s out around this time is the sheriff and I use to sleep with her I was underage and she’s married so I think will be fine.” I said

“K where are we going.” Santana asked

“Your house I need somewhere to drop all of this stuff off.” I said “ and if you don’t mind helping me receive the other stuff from the hotel tonight that would be great.”

“I totally don’t mind.” Santana said

On the way to Santanas house I got a ton of angry messages from everybody in Glee. Some of the really affected me the one Artie sent: You made me feel like shit when you made my problem your problem twice. Thanks for nothing. And my sister sent: You made my life a living hell everyone made at me because I’m related to you and I’m the closest thing to you. Furthermore Matt’s made at me and won’t even talk to me thanks for nothing loser. Santana saw how much this affected me and grabbed my hand to comfort me. Almost driving us off the road.

“Eyes on the road babygirl” I said

“What did you call me?” Santana asked

“Babygirl.” I said

“Why did you call me that.” She asked

“That’s what I call people who I let get close. Which I rarely ever do consider yourself lucky.” I said

As she drove to her house I looked at her. She actually didn’t care about what I had said in the Glee room she was willing to take me in. She made me feel not horrible about lashing out. Somehow she understood me.

“We’re here, my parents don’t get home till tomorrow morning there on vacation.” Santana said

“Thank you. You know you’re not as bitchy as you let people believe.” I said

“Well we will drop your stuff in my room for now. My mom’s gonna clean out the other room tomorrow.” Santana said

She helped me carry everything into her room.

“Wow this is not what I thought your room would look like.” I said

“What did you think it would look like ?” Santana asked

“I don’t know I thought that it would look all happy and have bright colors and Pom Poms everywhere.” I said

“Is me being a Cheerio all you know about me ?” She asked

“No I know that you are in Glee, Your a good singer and Your Latina.” I said

“Well I guess we’re both gonna find out a lot about each other.” Santana said

“Hey, put on something nice I want to take you to a nice restaurant in Columbus for being so nice.” I said

“You don’t have too.” Santana said

“Yes I do you deserve it after years of eating at Breadstix. You deserve someone to take you somewhere fancy.” I said

“Well you go get dressed and I will organize these boxes so that we can have a place to put the other and we can have somewhere to sleep tonight.” Santana said

I walked out the room and went to her bathroom and put on clothes that were in my suitcase that I had in the car. Luckily I had some nice clothes in the bag.

I walked out and went to sit on the bed.

“Oh my god.” Santana said

“What do I look bad?” I asked

“No not at all you actually look really hot.” Santana said

“The Santana Lopez think that I am hot ?” I asked

“Shut up” Santana said

“Now get out of that Cheerio outfit.” I said

“What do you not think that I look good in it cause I’m pretty sure you stare at the Cheerios as we practice.” Santana said walking towards me

“I’m watching my sister.” I said

“Oh sure you are is that why you’re blushing well watching us.” Santana said

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said

“Okay sure you don’t. Do you have any water?” Santana asked

“Oh sure the pocket of my backpack.” I said

She grabbed one of my water bottles and took a drink.

“Not that one.” I said

“Jesus why do you have a water bottle with straight vodka.” Santana said

“You think that I can make it through school sober.” I said

“Yeah most kids do.” Santana said

“Okay we’ll give me my Vodka. There’s two other water bottles in there. If you want some.” I said

“Wait I’m not gonna drive with you well you’re drunk.” Santana said

“Do worry I have only taken two sips today okay. You probably drank more than me.” I said

“Well I thought it was water.” Santana said

“How about you go get ready unless you want to spend the night in the hotel room.” I said

“Is there a couch” she asked

“There’s a fold out chair” I said

“Well what if I did want to spend the night in the hotel room.” Santana said

“Go get changed” I said

“Not until you admit that I look hot in my Cheerio outfit.” Santana said

“Not answering that.” I said

“Why is it illegal for you to call me hot?” Santana said

“No im 17” I said

“Okay I’m still not changing until you tell me.” Santana said

“Okay fine you look decent in your Cheerio outfit but you looked really hot in that country outfit for Glee.” I said

“Oh is that why you were looking at me licking your lips.” Santana said

As she ran into her bathroom with her clothes to get dressed after 30 minutes she came out look as gorgeous as ever.

“Why do you still talk to me everybody hates me after today?” I said

“Because you’re a good person.” Santana said

“Well why do you still flirt with me? I mean I pretty much screamed myself out of the closet today.” I said

“Maybe because I understand you. How did you know?” Santana asked

“Know what?” I asked steeping closer to her

“How did you know that you liked women?” Santana asked

“Oh well I guess that I always knew. Atleast after puberty. I couldn’t watch a movie without there being a hot woman. But in reality I thought that I was straight for a long time. Then I developed a celebrity crush on Scarlett Johansson. I thought that I was Bisexual and leaned more towards men. Then atleast a year after that I realized that I was Bi and it was even. But my eighth grade year I realized that I leaned towards liking women more. In high school I got a boyfriend who knocked me up but the sex with him never felt right. I felt uncomfortable. Then sophomore year I slept with a girl and everything just slid into place i didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Why do you ask?” I asked

“Well there’s a couple of girls at school that I think that I could see myself dating but I don’t know what that means.” Santana said

“Well if it helps women are better than men.” I said

“Shut up” Santana said

“I’m not joking you clearly have already fucked a ton of dudes she should try out a woman. It’s like you master bating but you don’t have to do any work or they can give you head which is like a female BJ or Scissoring which is when you just rub up against each other.” I said

“Maybe you’ll have to show me sometime.” Santana said

“Oh you’ve crossed a line.” I said

“Maybe that was a line that I wanted to cross.” Santana said walking towards me

“You don’t want me” I said pushing her away

“Why not it’s clearly we are both attracted to each other.” Santana said

“You’ll get kicked off the Cheerios if you sleep with me let alone secretly date me. If Sue even finds out that we had this conversation.” I said

“She loves you she acts like your her child.” Santana said

“I’m done with her bullshit you’ve only know her for two years so you might not hat her yet.” I said before getting cut off I sat on the bed

“I have hated her since the day I met her.” Santana said sitting next to me “Why were you so close to her in the first place?”

“Sue found me breaking down when I found out that I had Autism my freshman year. She is protective of me. But she treats everyone else like shit and I got tired of it after a while. What she did to Quinn was just a final straw. Which I know was something against Quinn because she wanted me to be on the Cheerios even when I was pregnant.” I said

“Why would she kick me off if she liked you so much?” Santana said

“Because I promised that I would destroy her. If she finds out I am staying here she will either delete you off the Cheerios or have you go after me and you're right I think you’re hot. I like you and I can’t afford to lose you too.” I said as I looked at her

“Shut up” Santana said as she kissed me

As she put her lips on mine and her tongue ran over my lips looking for an entrance I opened my mouth to allow her access.

“Maybe this dinner could be a date. Nobody we know will be near by.” Santana said

“Maybe I would like that. There is just one issue.” I said

“And that is?” Santana asked

“That our reservation is in at 6:00 and it is currently 4:50 and it’s an hour and 30 minutes away.” I said

“Well then we better head down.” Santana said

As we both headed down to the car she went over to the passenger side and I opened the door for her. I went over to my side and got in.

“Do you want to listen to music?” I asked

“Sure” Santana said

As I scrolled through the stations as speeding down the streets.

“stop I love this song” Santana said

As Will Smiths Parents Just Don’t Understand

Me

Santana

Both

You know parents are the same No matter time nor place They don't understand that us kids Are going to make some mistakes So to you, all the kids all across the land There's no need to argue Parents just don't understand

I remember one year My mom took me school shopping It was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, and my little sister All hopped in the car We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall MY mom started bugging with the clothes she chose I didn't say nothing at first I just turned up my nose She said, "What's wrong? This shirt cost $20" I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar!" The next half hour was the same old thing My mother buying me clothes from 1963 And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips! I said, "Mom, what are you doing, you're ruining my rep" She said, "You're only sixteen, you don't have a rep yet" I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please" She said "no, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show" I said, "This isn't Sha Na Na, come on Mom, I'm not Bowzer Mom, please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers But if you don't want to I can live with that but You gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks" She wasn't moved - everything stayed the same Inevitably the first day of school came I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick But my mom said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it" There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts And when I walked into school, it was just as I thought The kids were cracking up laughing at the clothes Mom bought And those who weren't laughing still had a ball Because they were pointing and whispering As I walked down the hall I got home and told my Mom how my day went She said, "If they were laughing you don't need the, "Cause they're not good friends" For the next six hours I tried to explain to my Mom That I was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times So to you all the kids all across the land There's no need to argue Parents just don't understand

OK, here's the situation My parents went away on a week's vacation and They left the keys to the brand new Porsche Would they mind? Umm, well, of course not I'll just take it for a little spin And maybe show it off to a couple of friends I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood Well, maybe I shouldn't Yeah, of course I should Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions I honked my horn just to get her attention She said, "Was that for me?" I said, "Yeah" She said, "Why?" I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy" She said, "How do I know you're not sick? You could be some deranged lunatic" I said, "see 'mon toots, my name is the Prince Beside, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?" She agreed and we were on our way She was looking very good and so was I, I must say - word We hit McDonald's, pulled into the drive We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes She kicked her shoes off onto the floor She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on" She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas (She did the movements as the song said) We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast The sun roof was open , the music was high And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car We're doing ninety in my Mom's new Porsche And to make this long story short - short When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell I said, "I don't have a license but I drive very well, officer" I almost had a heart attack that day Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway I was arrested, the car was impounded There was no way for me to avoid being grounded My parents had to come off from vacation to get me I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me My parents walked in I got my grip, I said, "Ah, Mom, Dad, how was your trip?" They didn't speak I said, "I want to plead my case" But my father just shoved me in the car by my face That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived They took turns - One would beat me while the other one was driving I can't believe it, I just made a mistake Well parents are the same no matter time nor place So to you all the kids all across the land Take it form me Parents just don't understand

“Damn we sound good together.” Santana said

“Mhm.” I said

“What did I make you flustered.” Santana said

As I recomposed myself I said “You always make me flustered.”

“Good I like having control over you.” Santana said

“You know what maybe we could skip dinner.” I said

“No waiting will make it better trust me I’m feeling the same way as you right now.” Santana said

“No we’re not because I know that tonight is gonna be the best night of your life.” I said

“Oh it can’t be that much better than men.” Santana said

“Oh you’re in for a strong change in opinions.” I said

“You better live up to the standards.” Santana said

“Too bad I can’t.” I said

“Why ?” Santana said

“Because you’re gonna need to walk tomorrow for school.” I said

“Well damn. Maybe we should do it this Friday then and we just take it slow that would make me more comfortable.” Santana said

“Whatever makes you comfortable. This isn’t about me this is about you.” I said

“Damn this is different than men.” Santana said

As we pulled into the restaurant parking lot

“Hello I have reservation for Y/L/N” I said

“For two?” The hostess asked

“Yes mam” I said

“Right this way” she said

“So tell me something about you.” I said

“I’m from America.” Santana said laughing

“Oh you don’t say. I guessed that you were from Ohio.” I said throwing bread at her.

“You know how many people just expect that I am from Mexico.” Santana said

“So racist if I were you I would beat the shit out of them.” I said

“Actually I go all Lima heights on there ass.” Santana said

“Damn that must be hot.” I Said

“What’s it like being a senior ?” Santana asked

“It sucks especially because I have to come back next year.” I said

“You do?” Santana asked

“Yeah I’m missing to many credits.” I said

“Well maybe you should go to class. You have no problem making it to every Glee practice or every Cheerio practice.” Santana said

”what can I get for you both.” The waiter asked

“I’ll do the lobster and your moctail of the day.” I said

“Yes mam and for you lovely lady.” The waiter asked

“I will also have the lobster and I will take a Water.” Santana said

“So back to what we were talking about maybe it’s easier to attend things when you get to secretly stare at people you like.” I said

“Yeah well maybe we could get some classes together next year if you fail another one of your junior classes.” Santana said

“What if we don’t like each other next year.” I said

“Look even if we don’t workout will still be friends.” Santana said

“Follow my lead.” I said

“What?” Santana said

As Sue came over and stood in front of our table

“What are you two doing here together.” Sue asked

“Glee project. Schue is having us sing in pairs songs that describe different Ohio towns. We got Columbus.” I said

“So I suggested we come down here after Glee and explore to see what song would work.” Santana said

“Oh well what have you found.” She asked

“We were thinking Wide Open Spaces by Emily Ann Roberts , I’ll Find My Way Home by Jon and Vangelis or Y/N suggestion of the Michigan anthem.” Santana said

“Those sound like great choices but I didn’t really even care.” Sue said walking away

“Bye Sue” I said

Soon our food came we ate and we’re waiting for the bill when the waiter came over.

“Hello I am gonna give this to your mom if that’s okay.” The waiter said looking at Santana he handed it to me and walked away

“Did he just say I was your mom.” I said opening the bill “Wow apparently they have discounted us for a single mom with her kid.”

As I left cash on the table

“Well then let’s go mom. I have school tomorrow.” Santana said linking arms with me and waking to the car laughing

“Well I guess that’s my new nickname for you.” Santana said

“You know that will totally work actually work nobody will know any better especially if you say it as snarky as you say everyone else’s nickname especially Rachel. I am gonna miss it I am gonna miss singing with you guys.” I said

“Hey no they deserved it okay they were talking bad about Artie all I said was that a bake sale was old fashioned and you can’t tell me that it isn’t.” Santana said

“You’re right it is. That’s why we’re gonna run by the bank so that I can get some money.” I said

“You’re not even part of the group anymore.” Santana said

“I know I just also want to help.” I said

As we drove through the banks entrance I left and walked inside to get the 600$. I came back out and sat down in the car.

“Give this to Schue tomorrow pls. I will meet you outside and drive you home if that’s okay.” I said

“That’s perfect know let’s come up with a nickname for me.” Santana said

“I have one It would just tell others that we are dating because it one of the only good one I have besides Mercedes who I call the chocolate angle.” I said

“What is it?” Santana asked as she grabbed my hand

“Latina goddess” I said

“Damn why do I like that. It makes me feel hot and sexy.” Santana said

“You are hot and sexy.” I said

“Oh I know.” Santana said

5 minutes later we pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. We both got out of the car and headed inside and into the elevator and up to the room.

“I know I said that we should take it slow but I really need your lips on mine.” Santana said

“Yes my Latina Goddess.” I said as we attached our lips to each other we made out until early hours of the morning. Until I rolled over.

“Wow” I said

“Yeah Wow” Santana said

“That was…” I said

“Amazing.” Santana said “Even if it was just making out that was incredible.”

“See I told you that woman were better at everything.” I said

“Maybe I’m starting to believe you but we might need to do it for a little longer.” Santana said

“No you have school in 6 hours and we need to wake up in 5” I said

“We could just not go to school and I can say I’m sick.” Santana said

“No because I’m not gonna get introuble for being a bad influence on you. Also you’re not sick.” I said

“Okay Mom” Santana said

“Wow that nickname isn’t as hot and adorable as it was earlier.” I said

“We do need to go to sleep.” Santana said

I got four hours of sleep and then I woke up the next morning with my hand holding Santanas hand and her head on my chest. I carefully moved her and got on some clothes and brought the boxes downstairs and put them in the car. Then I went into the lobby for the free breakfast. As I sat down at a table and drank some coffee and ate some toast and eggs. I grabbed some coffee and Cereal and brought it back up to Santana.

“Hey Latina Goddess it’s time to get up.” I said

“Good morning hey can you not look at me I don’t look good.” Santana said

“What ever you want there’s coffee and cereal on the night stand but if we’re being fair this is the hottest I have ever seen you even hotter than the cowboy outfit.” I said

“Shut up no I’m not” Santana said

“There’s a reason I call you a goddess you definitely could give Aphrodite a run for her title.” I said

“I’m gonna go use the restroom.” Santana said

“Okay” I said

As Santana Changed in the restroom I decided to make sure that I had grabbed everything from the room. I also started working on some homework for Mr.Schue I didn’t want to get worse on his side than I already was after yesterday. So as I sat down and started working on my Spanish homework which included boot verbs and conjunctions as well as family members, I also had to write an essay about me and another person. I easily did the conjunction and boot verbs I did most of the family members only struggling on Son, Daughter the step family members, the half family members and cousins. I started working on the essay but was struggling I wasn’t sure how to say what I wanted I would usually ask my teacher for help but I doubt that Schue would help me. As I started at the page with my head resting in my hand. Santana came out and walked behind me she placed her hand on my shoulder.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Santana asked

“Spanish homework.” I said

“Do you need help from a hot Latina goddess.” Santana asked

“I wouldn’t mind. But we should probably get going soon so that we aren’t late to school.” I said

“You know we could jut lay in bed all day working on homework.” Santana said

“As nice as that sounds I need to go to school today. I signed up for a college tour through the school and we’re going today.” I said

“Oh we’re are you going?” Santana asked

“The university of Michigan.” I said

“What would you do there?” Santana asked

“I don’t know but we have the rest of this year and next year to figure that out and be friends or whatever this is.” I said

“Fair” she said moving my hair out of my face

“Let’s head down to the car?” I said

“Will you be back in time to pick me up after Glee?” Santana asked

“Yes I will I promise the school has to get us back before six o’clock. It’s a 2 hour drive there and a 2 hour drive back we have a 3 hour long tour. We are leaving at 7:20 A.M. so we will be back in time.” I said

“Well then we need to head down to the car.” Santana said

As we both headed down and got in the car. We were driving for at least 20 minutes.

“What re we you said whatever we are what are we.” Santana asked

“I don’t know I don’t care it’s whatever you are comfortable with. You’re the one who I still trying to figure things out and I respect what ever you choose.” I said

“Can I have time to decide.” Santana asked

“Of course you can.” I said

We continued to drive until we were five minutes away from the school.

“I can drop you off two blocks away like I do with my sister so that people don’t see you hanging out with a loser outside of Glee club.” I said

“You’re not a loser. You’re really cool everybody at school likes you you’re not popular but people like you.” Santana said

“Yeah but after yesterday everyone in the school knows that I am a lesbian and that I have autism. If the most excepting group at school bullied me what should I accept from the rest of them.” I said

“Fair but if anyone messes with you I will go all Lima heights on their ass.” Santana said

“As sexy as that sounds I hope that doesn’t have to happen.” I said

“Drop me off at the front door.” Santana said

“Are you sure?” I said

“Of course my popularity isn’t that fragile.” Santana said

“We’ll have a good day at school.” I said as I pulled in front of the school

“I’ll see you later if anything changes I will let you know.” Santana said

I dropped her off and went and parked my car in the senior lot. I stepped out of my car and headed towards the school I was going to the front office to meet with the other students that were going to look at the college. I went in and sat on one of the chairs waiting for the others. As the kids started piling in the room and was hoping that the bus would arrive soon. I kept my head down once I realized that the secrets I told about myself in Glee yesterday had spread around the school like wildfire. It wouldn’t have been that bad but Michigan was known for its sports so there was a ton of basketball players, football players and hockey players. There was also a couple of younger students freshman whose parents were forcing them to be there. It wouldn’t have been that bad I thought until I found out that most of them were in the Christian club at our school. I had already payed to go so I couldn’t back out I just had to keep my head down and not listen to them and the comments they were making. We soon got on the bus I headed towards the very back of the bus the single seat so that I could just get homework done. Soon enough we arrived to the college. We all were gonna take a tour of half the campus have a lunch and then take the other half of the tour. Lunch had arrived and I had go to wash my hands in the bathroom before lunch.

As I was washing my hands I was fixing my outfit cause even though I was wearing sweats and a Bennie it was still cold and so I kept tucking my sweatshirt in to try and stay warm.

Then six guys came out of the bathroom stalls. One of them went over to the door and locked it well taking out a camera and filming. I thought that they were going to bully me. “Hey Lesbo” One of the dudes said walking up to me and putting his hand on my ass

“I’m not interested.” I said

“Well you see we have a plan to change that.” Another guy said

“Yeah how about you just do what we say and then nobody gets hurt.” Another guy said

“What is it that you want me to do.” I said

“Take your clothes off.” The guy whose hand was on my ass said

“and if I say no.” I said

“We’ll do it for you.” The guy with his hand in my ass said as he slowly started to pull my pants and underwear down.

“You can’t scream either.” Another guy said as he slowly started taking off his own pants and boxers

I tried to run but got pushed down by the other four. Two of them grabbed my legs and held the down as the other two started to hold my hand down. Well the guy continued to walk around with his pants down. He slowly started to take off my shirt and Bra. Once he was done he took off all of his clothes. He dropped over me rubbing his dick all over my body finally bringing it up to my face.

“You see this? This is what goes inside a woman. Not tongue, Not fingers, this goes inside a women nothing else.” He said as he continued to stroke it in his hand “it was designed for the three holes on a woman the mouth” he said as his friends opened my mouth as he stuck it in. They soon let go of my lips and then pressed my checks together as he thrusted in and out till he finally cum in my mouth. He then walked over to the sink and put a condom on. “The asshole he said” As his friends dragged me over to the sink held me hands on the sink and my feet under the sink so that my ass would stick out. He had traded with one of his buddy’s who also got naked before I knew it they were all naked except the guy with the camera. They all stuck their dicks into my ass thrusting in and out until they cum into the condom. “And the pussy.” He said “wow you’re the driest woman I had ever seen.”

“Maybe that’s cause I don’t like dick.” I said

“Yeah well we’re gonna fuck you until you change your mind. We’re gonna fuck you until you no longer like women. We will get everyman on this visit if need be.” He said

the laid me down and held my feet in the air. As each of them individually put their dick in me. The first time I didn’t speak trying to decide what to do to get out of this situation.

“Fuck dude I need some lube.” The first dude said as he couldn’t get his dick in me

“Here man I got you.” His friend said handing him some lube

He used it and slowly slipped in me “You see we’re not stopping til we all make you orgasm.” He slowly thrusted knowing that it would take longer causing me to squirmed under him.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t had sex with a man before but this was different. Ideas popping in my head I could let them actually make me orgasm or I could fake it. By the time I had thought of the two ideas and was thinking of the possible outcomes he rolled over so I would be on top of him his hands still holding me down. “You see this way you can’t fake it. Will know if you orgasm.” He said thrusting harder

Knowing that there was nothing I could do I just decided to give in giving them what I wanted. It’s not like I hadn’t acted before hopefully I would be believable.

I put my game face on and decided on lines that I could use to fulfill his ego. I know that it would be easier to orgasm. If I thought of someone who I actually liked and to make myself believe that I was master bating. I thought of the people who first came to my mind Santana, Brittnay, Quinn. I thought of how I finally had gotten Santana in my arms last night. We decided to take it slow and to just make out but at some point hopefully it would be her under me. She seemed interested in it last night.

I closed my eyes and it finished in what felt like hours. They all got dressed as I laid on the ground naked. They started to punch me. On my stomach and arms and on my legs. The punched my face but only in places that could be easily hidden. So that they could get away. After they left I had crawled over to the corner of the room and grabbed my phone from my pants. It was almost 4:00 it was 3:40 I had missed the entirety of the lunch and rest of the tour. The thing is I really liked this school I had seen myself coming here and know all that I see is bad memories. I quickly got dressed and ran to the bus right before the doors closed. I sat in the front next to the teacher. The next two hours were tortures. I sat down and kept my head down I made sure that I was wearing the sunglasses that were in my purse so that nobody could see the bruises forming on my eyes.

When we got back to school we all got out of the bus and I went straight to my car and sat down waiting for Santana. I saw her come out an hour later with the Glee club kids and her and Brittnay came towards my car.

“Hey can you bring Brittnay home too we have an assignment we need to do.” Santana said

“Of course. How was your day?” I asked

“Good I had a test that I got an A on in Spanish.” Santana said

“Wow your saying someone whose family speaks Spanish got an a on his Spanish test.” I said

“Do you want help on your Spanish homework or not.” Santana said

“Yes sorry. My Latina Goddess.” I said

“Brittnay’s in the car mom.” Santana said

“Hey Brittnay anything interesting happening.” I asked

“I’m just trying to figure out my rights from my left because Santana had to help me.” Brittnay said

“Oh well that’s easy put your hands in front of you make two L’s the one that looks like L is the right one. You can also tell because your left hand has mole right under your knuckle.” I said

“Oh my god it dose thanks Y/n” Brittnay said

“No problem Britt.” I said

“Why did you have to help her ?” I asked Santana

“Lady Hummel made us take an oath that we wouldn’t vote for him just cause he’s popular.” Santana said

“Does he know what being popular is.” I said

“Exactly what’s I thought.” She said grabbing my hand and intertwined her fingers with mine

“Anything else ?” I asked

“Schue is having us all roll around in wheelchairs so we understand what Artie feels also he said thanks for the money.” Santana said

“Schue left his wife because of you.” Brittnay said

“Really. Wow I didn’t think my outburst would do that.” I said

“You told him his wife was lying to him about being pregnant and trying to buy his students baby.” Santana said

”Fair” I said

“Quinn won’t talk to us because Santana is living with you.” Brittnay said

“Really?” I asked

“Yes don’t worry about it though I rather you be safe then Quinn be happy.” Santana said

“Thanks” I said

“Did anything interesting happen at the tour.” Santana asked

Should I tell her what happened what would she say. We weren’t even technically together. What if her and Brittnay react like it’s not a big deal.

“Nope nothing the campus sucked though so I’m definitely not going there.” I said

“Good cause hopefully we can stay friends and go to college in the same state if not the same school.” Santana said

“Can I come too.” Brittnay said

“Of course you can trust me when I say me and Santana both need the optimism that you bring to our lives.” I said

As we drove home listening to music.

“I miss you in Glee Y/N” Brittnay said

“We both do.” Santana said

“I know it’s weird but I miss Glee. I miss performing and singing. Even if Mr.Schue is a complete idiot who is getting paid by Rachel’s dads to give her the lead and Schue is just shipping Finn and Rachel together.” I said

“Wait really her dads are paying.” Santana said

“of course I saw it well I was snooping through Mr.Schues stuff. That why he does not give songs to people who actually match the voice. Rachel’s got musical theater voice, Hummel has got a High school, college band voice and don’t even get me started on Finn almost none of the song that Schue picks match his voice. But then we got the two people who should always get the lead and the next two below them if there sick and the other two who are below that who needs someone to sing with but is great with out just not for too long and that goes top Two is Mercedes and You if Mr.Schue got you too to sing together we would definitely win sectionals. You too carry Glee already I can’t even imagine bin the next two years. The next two are Quinn and Hope and Tina they got great vocals but there no Mercedes Jones and Santana Lopez no matter how much they try. Next is Lady Hummel and Berry. Then there’s Brittnay and Me we know how to sing but we can’t sing the entire song if we do we need to harmonize with someone else. Then there is the people who can sing some songs but not all of them we got Artie in first he works with most songs just not all. Then Puck he sings well he just could never lead. Then Finn he can sing but only a few songs the rest sound like he’s stretching his voice. Then you got Matt and Mike whom I have never actually heard sing so I don’t know where to put them.” I said

“I’m actually one of the first. I mean I always thought that I was but you conforming it is amazing.” Santana said

“Oh trust me you are Just promise me when you win your Grammys and when your number one on the Billboard and you selling out football stadiums of adoring fans remember me please.” I said

“How could I forget you.” Santana said

“Look the worlds messed up, people are messed up and you’re lucky if you meet people as messed up as you but the world is still messed up so you don’t get those messed up people forever.” I said

“Okay that’s just sad.” Brittnay said

“What is the assignment you’re doing?” I said

“U.S. history. It sucks” Santana said

“Can I help!! That was my favorite subject.” I said

“What was your grade in the class?” Santana asked

“I ended the year with a 99.98%” I said

“Wait so you actually went to that class.” Santana said

“Shut up” I said

“Make me.” Santana said

“Brittnay’s in the car.” I said

As we drove to the house and parked we got out.

“What about the bags and stuff.” Santana said

“We can get it later if that’s okay.” I said

”Yeah that’s fine.” Santana said

“Hey let me go say hi to my parents and then I’ll be up.” Santana said as Brittnay ran inside with her backpack

“Hey can I come with you. I want to thank them for letting me stay here and make a good first impression. Because if even if we’re just friends I don’t want them thinking that I’m a bad influence.” I said

“But you are.” Santana said

“Why cause I own a motorcycle and have tattoos and I like women and protect my friends by beating the shit out of people.” I said

“Exactly now my mom is royalty in Spain so you need to bow.” Santana said

“Wait really. I can’t meet royalty like this.” I said

We both went in Santana said hi to her parents first and hugged them both.

Then I went and I shook her dads hand “Hello Mr. Lopez.” I bowed and then shook her moms hand “Hello Mrs.Lopez.” I said

“Why is are you bowing.” Mrs.Lopez asked

“Santana told me that you were royalty and know I realize that she was messing with me.” I said looking at Santana on the stairs

“Well yes she was.” Mrs.Lopez said

“I don’t know you’re a Queen in my eyes.” Mr.Lopez said

“Anyway I just wanted to thank you for allowing me to stay here I really appreciate it.” I said walking towards Santana

“SANTANA LOPEZ YOU BETTER RUN YOU MADE ME EMBRACE MYSELF.” I said chasing her up the stairs and into her room where Brittnay was.

We all worked on our homework Brittnay and Santana on there U.S history with my help. Afterwards Santana helped me with my Spanish homework well Brittnay drew

“Why do you want to write about.” Santana asked

“Realistically I would always write about Quinn or Brittnay, Mostly you and change a couple attributes about you guys and Change your name.” I said

“Okay well what would you say if you were writing about me use my name and we can change it if need be. Santana said

“Mi relacion es muy complicada con Santana Lopez. Ella es gupa y muy Linda. Ella me gusta animadoras y dormir. Ella ama la comics y Ella chicas. Ella no me gusta atrevido porque Ella es Asustada. Ella tiene ojos marrones y cabello castaño. Ella es intelligente y Ella es no stupido. Yo Realmente espero que ella sea mi novia incluso en secreto. Mi diosa latina sexy caliente.” I said

“Damn hay Brittnay is your mom almost here.” Santana asked

“Yeah she got here five minutes ago I just wanted to say goodbye.” Brittnay said

“Yeah bye.” Santana said

As soon as Brittnay left Santana said “Lay on the bed and spread your legs.”

I gladly obliged even though my body had enough orgasms already but one from Santana would be different.

As she went over to her door and locked it.

“Are you sure?” I asked

“Of course you know you’re really hot when you speak another language.” She said talking off her top

“Oh really” I said standing up and pressing my body against her back as I slowly kissed her neck. I went up to her ear trying to leave very few marks. She moaned as I kissed the back of her neck right below her hair line. I put my hand over her mouth.

“As much as I love that sound your parents are downstairs.” I said whispering in her ear

“I will try to be quieter mom.” Santana said quietly as she started to take my shirt off and I started un buttoning her bra

“ho bisogno del tuo corpo sotto il mio.” I said quietly (I want to see you under me)

“Si por favor.” She said taking off my bra. (Yes please)

I threw her on the bed and pulled her legs off the bed so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Look there’s no turning back after this okay once we do this there’s no completely going back so I just need to make sure that your 1000% sure and that wasn’t just the heart of the moment.” I said keeping my eyes fixed on her pants.

“Look me in my eyes okay. This isn’t a heat of the moment this is every fantasy I have had about you. You’re my hot sexy secret girlfriend okay.” Santana said

“Okay” I said “do you have a CD player or speaker.”

“Top drawl under the box of condoms.” She whispered in my ear.

I put in the nearest CD that I could find and went back to her pants as she started unbuckling my bra

“If you want to stop just let me know okay.” I said

I went over to her desk and grabbed her lotion. I put it to the side as I pushed her back onto the bed. I started kissing her lips and slowly started making my way down her body. Only leaving hickies where she could easily hide them. Under here uniform. I slowly made my way down towards her underwear. I got right above her underwear and stepped away. I pulled her back to the edge of the bed. So that I could easier access towards her core. I slowly pulled down her soaking wet underwear with my teeth make sure to lick from the top down to feet “Wow I guess that I must be doing a good job. You’re making this a lot easier for me. My Latina goddess you look so good from down here.” I said

“I like this view of you too.” Santana said

“I just need you to stay Quiet so that my job will be easier and I won’t be worried about your parents hearing.” I said

“Can we not talk about my parents well we’re doing it.” Santana said

“Oh baby we haven’t done anything yet.” I said

I said as I grabbed the lotion and rubbed it onto her upper thighs. After I could see her body squirming. I carefully edged my fingers closer to her folds. Rubbing my thumb up In down until it got to much for her and she pushed my head down. I looked up at her stooping and shaking my head. I slowly inserted two of my fingers they started to make themselves familiar with the location. as soon as I found her G spot I pressed it a couple times and started pulling out slowly with every time. I started speeding up soon I could see her starting to arch her back I put my head closer to her putting my tongue inside her and started sucking on her well I was curling my fingers. I kept my tongue and fingers going in and out. When I could feel her on the verge. I stopped and waited until she begged me.

“Pls let me finish Y/N” Santana said quietly

I slowly moving my tongue and fingers in closer. I put my fingers and tounge in and out. She finally came I pulled my tongue out but let her ride the rest of her orgasm out. “Oh god you taste amazing.” I said

“Do you wanna taste” I said moving my fingers up to her mouth.

“I bet you taste better.” Santana said

I slowly started to take my pants and underwear off. And pulled her back up to the top of the bed and strattled on top of her grinding my pussy of top of hers until our pussy we’re connected with each other we rubbed up against each other until we both slowly edged closer to our climax. We both speed up to make sure we could both ease our pulsating pussys. As we cum into each other. I sat back on top of her and made out.

“Wow that was the best sex ever you definitely live up to the hype you gave yourself.” Santana said

“Oh sweetheart that’s nothing. It was your first time with a woman so I took it easy.” I said

“Well I would like to please you the same way you pleased me.” Santana said

“Well that sounds great.” I said “Good thing that I already got wet we’ll satisfying you.”

“I don’t know how to do it.” Santana said

“It’s just like master bating imagine doing everything you wish you could do to yourself if you were looking at your own pussy.” I said

“Okay well then you’re in for a ride.” Santana said

“Okay well there is a strap on in the box in the corner of your room.” I said

“A what?” Santana asked

“ A dick for women. That entire box was my sex drawl at my house.” I said

As Santana went over pulled out a blind fold and handcuffs. She jumped on top of the bed slowly humping my vagina as she handcuffed me to the bed. I bucked my hips giving her a ride. She put her boob in my mouth.

“Suck on it for me” Santana said

“Yes sexy.” I said

I started sucking on it. As she left hickies on my neck. She slowly pushed her self up and moved her way down. She grabbed the lotion on the bed and started rubbing it all over my body. Once she got down to my vagina and started rubbing her thumb over my folds. Slowly til she opened me up and slid three of her fingers into me.

“Is that to many?” She asked

I shook my head No. She slowly started to move into me looking for my G spot.

“Further babe.” I said

Once she found it. She kept pulling in and out of it. Stopping randomly and rejoining at random paces making my body cum faster than it had before. “Wow you’re good for this being your first time.” I said

“Oh we’re just getting started.” She said as she came up and started to suck on my boob. Once it was hard she went to the other one sucking on it.

She dropped down her bed and but my legs up behind my head inserting her tongue. As her tongue searched through my body. I could feel the warm waves already building up inside me.

“God Santana I need you.” I said Quietly

“Shh be quiet well mommy’s working.” Santana said

I obliged as she found my G spot and started licking it causing suction to happen. She pulled out and grabbed a message gun from her sex drawl she put it on the side of her cheek causing her tongue to vibrate. I was rising into the climax bucking my hips into Santana bringing her tongue further into me.

When suddenly there was a knock.

“Santana it’s mom I need to come in?” Mrs.Lopez said

Santana quickly pulled out causing me to moan I quickly put my hand over my mouth.

“Hang on mom” Santana said hitting me

“What’s going on in there.” Mrs.Lopez said

“We’re filming a music video for Glee.” I said

“Okay well are you guys almost done pizzas here and I need to put Santanas laundry away.” Mrs.Lopez said

“Mama” Santana whined

“What shes gonna be living here she would have found out at some point.” Mrs.Lopez said

“Yes mam we’re almost done just like half a hour more. We have to make sure that we get everything perfect.” I said

“Okay you kids have fun.” Mrs.Lopez said

“We will” I said winking at Santana

We soon heard her mother go back downstairs.

“How did you do that.” Santana asked

“When I was still in the closet my mom almost caught me and y girlfriend several times. So I learned how to make a believe able lie.” I said

“Well good job. We’re gonna have to stop though.” Santana said

“Okay go get changed.” I said

“What will you do” Santana asked

“I am gonna go master bait until I finish what you started and then I’m gonna bring your sheets into my room and hide them and come home early tomorrow and wash them so you’re mom doesn't find out.” I said

“Wow thankyou.” Santana said

“No problem and now go wash our relationship off of you and then we will act like we’re just friends.” I said

“it would be nice to do this again.” Santana said

“Oh we definitely will.” I said

Santana showered well I got my stuff done. We both went downstairs 40 minutes later.

“What song are you guys doing.” Mr.Lopez asked

“Jungle Fever Mr.Schue had us choose songs that were banned in a country and made it big in another.” I said

“Oh well I would love to see the video when you guys are done if that’s okay.” Mr.Lopez said

“Of course sir.” I said

“Well we finished your room early today Y/N” Mrs.Lopez said

“Thank you. Um Mr.Lopez could I use your help and your daughters help I have some heavy boxes in my car. You look like you’re strong and your daughter is a cheerleader so she has to be strong.” I said

“Of course.” Mr.Lopez said

All three of us went out to my car and slowly started grabbing boxes. After 20 minutes we had finally finished. We all went back inside.

“Thank you both of you.” I said

“Hey kiddo do either of you want more pizza.” Mrs.Lopez asked

“I will take it.” I said

I sat down and finished the rest of the box. Santana came and sat down next to me stealing a couple pieces.

“You know Sue will be mad at you.” I said

“Cool when isn’t Sue mad.” Santana said

“Fair” I said

“Hey kids we’re going up.” Mr and Mrs Lopez said as they went upstairs and into there bedroom

“Earlier was amazing. I wish it never ended.” Santana said

“We have to film that video for your dad so how about instead of skipping class to make out with your boyfriend. We film it.” I said

“Yeah okay. Also who told you me and Puck got back together .” Santana said

“Oh come on your our schools on and off again relationship.” I said

“What does that mean?” Santana said

“It means we all know you guys aren’t meant for each other but you find comfort in each other so you always come crawling back. Okay well I’m going to bed I’ll see you later.” I said

I went upstairs and headed into my bedroom and laid down on the bed. I closed my eyes daydreaming about Santana. Falling asleep soon enough. One of the few nights that I didn’t have insomnia.

Time skip Lunch the next day

I was right outside the lunch room and saw Brittnay with Becky.

“Hey Y/N” Brittnay said

“Hi Y/N” Back said

“Hi guys what you guys doing?” I asked

“We’re about to get cupcakes from the Glee club.” Brittnay said

“Can I come with you” I asked

“Ofcourse” Brittnay said

Me,Brittnay and Beck walked into the lunch room together and Finn,Puck,Quinn and Santana were sat at the table. They were talking about us.

“See so many and see how pretty they are Becky.” Brittnay said

“Wow” Becky said

“Brittnay you’re supposed to be in your wheelchair.” Santana said

“I lost it.” Brittnay said

“Are you a cheerleader?” Becky asked “it’s so cool”

“So is buying a cupcake that’s really cool.” Brittnay said

“But I don’t have any money.” Becky said

“That’s okay I have some.” As Brittnay opened up her backpack and payed for Becky’s cupcake

“Thank you.” Santana said mean

Becky got her cupcake and walked off.

“What do you want to run our lives more” Quinn said to me

“No I just wanted cupcakes” I said

“Well haven’t you already payed enough for this bus.” Puck said

“Well dose that mean I don’t get a cupcake I have 100$.” I said

“You want to buy all the cupcakes?” Finn asked

“Yes it’s my day to get Snacks for Key Club and I forgot.” I said

What’s that club.” Santana asked

“We donate time for community service it’s actually really nice.” I said

“So like community service hours when you go to jail?” Puck said

“Who would willing do that.” Finn asked

“Well I have worked at the fire station answering phones and I’ve also worked at the local VFW and I have also worked at a soup kitchen which I still volunteer at on the weekends okay this club is like my cheerleading and football. It makes me happy. I started a non-profit for veterans my sophomore year.” I said

“Wow I didn’t know that you did all that.” Brittnay said

“There’s a lot you guys don’t know.” I said” Now can I have my cupcakes.”

“Yeah here you go.” Santana said handing me the trays

“Do you need help bringing those to the room.” Quinn asked

I was surprised why did she care.

“Yeah but you guys have glee at that time so it’s fine if you can’t help.” I said

“Well we will keep them in the Choir room and then help you after school.” Santana said

“Thank you.” I said

“No problem you helped us out with this bus more than enough.” Santana said

Time skip to the next day

“Puck can we talk.” I said walking into the lunch room were the Glee club was selling cupcakes

“We have a line here.” Puck said

I leaned over the table so that only the Glee kids could hear me “You put drugs in the cupcakes. I get that you wanted to make money and I won’t tell on you but you put drugs into the cupcakes.” I said

“How could you tell.” Puck said

“I know what drugs taste like.” I said

“How?” Quinn said

“Because I used to take them and I still take them when I go to parties.” I said

“Puck are you kidding me. Come on I gave you another chance we’re breaking up again I can’t willing be with someone who puts drugs into cupcakes.” Santana said looking at puck then me and smiling

Later that day we got into the car.

“Sue put Becky on the cheerios.” Santana said annoyed

“Becky’s one of my friends. I’m happy for her.” I said

“Why are you guys friends?” Santana asked

“Because she’s like me the only difference is her chromosome malfunction makes her look different.” I said

“Okay well I’m just going off based off what I’ve learned.” Santana said

“And that is.” I asked

“Nothing” Santana said

“You’re right because we don’t learn about people different than us. I know that you know how that feels. I’m not comparing racism to ableism but I’m just saying that they both stem from not understanding. Hopefully I can help you understand more.” I said

“Okay I guess me being mean to Becky isn’t that okay I’ll be nice to her.” Santana said

“I’m not saying that.” I said

“So treat her how I treat you?” Santana asked

“Not how me and whoever else you’re dating gets your hot sexy naked body. Just treat her like you’d treat anyone else.” I said

“Okay.”Santana said

“Let’s go to your house.” I said

“Let’s go home it’s the weekend and my parents are at a wedding I have several things I would like to do to you in that time.” Santana said

(Sorry it took so long it took me a long time to get through the rape part. I hope you liked it.”