#but just makes the writing worse like who cares what do u really gain from it

[ilynpilled]

I think the idea that jaime’s evil is because of cersei and his relationship to cersei just breaks apart most of his character and his development

YES. the world if this fandom actually accepted that jaime’s corruption is not because he was “being manipulated/groomed into it by cersei”, nor is it just pride and bitterness over society’s hypocritical reaction to his finest act and his vilification through the “kingslayer” label which leads to the development of a persona that he plays into and eventually becomes one with, and while it is all affected and set up to be worsened by parental abuse, unhealthy family dynamics, and tywin’s rearing during formative years, that is also notably not the main cause. cynicism that leads to his specific moral decay and “the flame going out” is primarily rooted in his specific experience with an institution and a tyrant whose power is sustained and actions are enabled by everyone around him —including the “moral paragons” of westeros and the heroes he sought to become — that in effect leads to an extreme and concentrated disillusionment with moral and ethical constructs that define the order of his society, a gruelling dismantling of previously idealized abstract concepts and aspirations that he revolved much of his identity around as a “very idealistic young boy” (such as heroism, honor, and knighthood), intense survivor’s guilt due to a failure to grapple with and triumph over these contradictions (he couldn’t even keep the vow to protect the innocent entirely: “i left my wife and children in your hands” | “…i was with the king” | “killing the king. cutting his throat”), and an unaddressed identity crisis and trauma during his teens that leads to destructive coping mechanisms, a reliance on compartmentalisation and self-delusion, isolation, selfish and cowardly stagnation, and spiteful moral nihilism in adulthood. over time, it leads to the intensification of his worst qualities, and the obstruction of his best ones. and the possibility of triumph in his story, and by extension the possibility of atonement, redemption, and forgiveness (“real world questions” the author explicitly said multiple times that he is dealing with using this character but does not intend to provide a resounding and unequivocal answer for) is rooted in overcoming this specifically, which is internal, and relates to his experiences and character. and the parallax in asos/his backstory is also not done with the intention to absolve or victimize him, but to contextualize him, explain his behavior and how he views the world at this point, and set up his arc.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 28/10/2023 (The Kid LAROI/Central Cee, blink-182's 'ONE MORE TIME...')

Content warning: Cynicism and brief masturbation

For a third week, Kenya Grace’s “Strangers” is at the top of the UK Singles Chart, and welcome back to a quieter, later episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Now the Official Charts Company was so delayed in posting the chart this week that I am so incredibly late in actually getting the chance to write this rundown section. Alas, let’s do a speedrun here - firstly we always start with the notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40, you know it, yadda-yadda-yadda. This week we bid adieu to: “DArkSide” by Bring Me the Horizon, “I Do” by Nines featuring who the Hell cares, “Hide and Seek” by 163Margs featuring Digga D, “PARK CHINOIS” by Headie One and K-Trap, “Rich Men North of Richmond” by Oliver Anthony Music, “Hell n Back” by Bakar and finally, “So Much in Love” by D.O.D. It had a good run.

As for our gains and returns, we see re-entries for bottom-feeders like “Riptide” by Vance Joy at #75 and “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac at #66, as well as the new Rolling Stones album letting “Angry” slip back at #73, “Lil Boo Thang” by Paul Russell sprouting legs at #65 and “bad idea right?” by Olivia Rodrigo doing weird three-song-rule shenanigans at #46 because of course. And as for our gains, we see boosts for - bear with me - “Style” by Taylor Swift at #62 (watch that space), “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac at #56, “Party All the Time” by Hannah Laing and HVRR at #53, “ONE MORE TIME” by blink-182 at #42 thanks to the album, “Calm Down” by Rema at #39, “Me & U” by Tems at #36, “On My Love” by Zara Larsson and David Guetta at #29, “Agora Hills” by Doja Cat at #28, “Pompeii” by Bastille at #26, “One of Your Girls” by Troye Sivan and finally, Noah Kahan grabs his first top 10 with “Stick Season” at #9.

As for our top five, it’s pretty expected - “Water” by Tyla is at #5, which I’m never going to complain about, and then we have “greedy” by Tate McRae at #4, “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift at #3  gaining off of the back of a re-release featuring a live version and a remix - more of her to come next week - and then “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe at #2 with of course, “Strangers” at #1. Now to see what this smaller week may have to offer in its pattering of shoddy new entries.

NEW ARRIVALS

#63 - “Sensational” - Chris Brown featuring Davido and Lojay

Produced by DJ Hardwerk, BigRagee, Krazytunez and XQ

Davido and Lojay are Nigerian singers so it seems like Chris Brown’s latest ploy is to slot himself within Afrobeats, a genre wherein he… honestly fits pretty well. A lot of male Afrobeats singers have nasal, Auto-Tuned voices saved by their potent, earnest delivery. That’s Breezy’s vocal default in a nutshell… so why is he trying to be cool here? He plays off the wavy, tropical shuffling with a level of restraint and subtlety you rarely hear from the guy ever, I guess to match the sample-esque murky backing vocals from Lojay. It’s not a bad groove either, but it honestly kind of disappoints me that he didn’t go full-out with the classic Chris Brown approach, even if he does do some obnoxious “na-na-na”s and those staccato harmonies as usual. It doesn’t help that this song doesn’t have a good hook, despite Sean Kingston being behind the writing of all people. There’s just nothing catchy about this song, which seems to focus much more on atmosphere… which makes no sense! It’s a club dance song where the girl’s body is described as sensational, where’s the sensation? Davido tries, bless him, but as a result of the song’s misplaced “coolness” pretence, he just sounds out of place. And Lojay’s verse is embarrassing - “booty wider than the Internet”? Really? Sigh, given it’s Chris Brown, it could be a lot worse.

#57 - “IT GIRL” - Aliyah’s Interlude

Produced by Lxnely Beats

It’s been a while since we got a straight-up TikTok viral song, it feels, but rising star Aliyah’s Interlude - what made you go with that name? - seems to have cultivated a pretty loyal fanbase and specific terminology, some of which is mentioned in the song, already so this could either be the start of a big deal or a complete meme fluke. And God, I hope this is a fluke because this is insufferable. It’s not even insufferable in a moral or boring way, it’s just annoying. The Eurodance throwback synth is obnoxious, the plodding percussion is lazy, and whilst Aliyah’s Interlude herself is clearly full of passion and character, it is actually to the detriment of an already minimal, annoying song. It seems the intent was either to be primal or overwhelming, but that synth is so distracting that I can’t fully understand the cult of personality with borderline comedy-rap verses and an admittedly very good use of spelling out the title in chorus. I believe that this is what one could claim as “slaying”, and I kind of get it, but it’s just too much of a stressful listen for me. That synth, it just never stops. I’m sure Aliyah’s Interlude would shine on more polished production as her performance here is close to salvaging something but that may come years down the line. For now, God, please don’t make this a hit.

#55 - “DANCE WITH ME” - blink-182

Produced by Travis Barker

This is such a dry week that I could aptly describe it as being victim to a blink-182 album bomb, or at least as much as the UK Singles Chart will allow. At least they debuted some songs from their #2 album ONE MORE TIME… unlike the Rolling Stones at #1. Anyway, this was a pre-release single only charting now thanks to the album, and it has a music video that mimics that of the Ramones’ “I Wanna be Sedated”, which the track also interpolates. The 1978 track was never released as an A-side single in the UK so failed to chart, but has been set in stone as one of the classic punk outfit’s most iconic songs. I assume that as a result we have a pretty straightforward punk throwback from blink, and for the most part we do, but it’s not really a good one. I love Travis Barker’s cavernous drumming and production of course, and it will always will give a certain base level of quality to these songs, but blink aren’t doing anything new here, or doing something they’ve already done particularly well. There’s a weird bitter venom in Tom DeLonge’s delivery and an apathetic disinterest in Mark Hoppus’ voice that both miss the mark for a song about dancing - or masturbating, if the awkward intro is to be believed - all night long. The chorus is basic but somehow not even catchy, it’s just expected and predictable. At this point with blink, maybe that’s all we should settle for? It just sucks that I know how interesting they can be.

#48 - “ANTHEM PART 3” - blink-182

Produced by Travis Barker

This is the opening track on the record and one that follows in the footsteps of their older “Anthem” tracks, signaling their big comeback. The original “Anthem” from 1999’s Enema of the State is actually the outro to the album, and is fittingly out of fuel considering the rest of the album’s energy that this track seems desperate to grab onto, which sounds like a complaint but considering the fantastic drumming, atrocious vocal delivery and mixing, incredibly cathartic post-chorus, I’d say it sums up the aftermath of a reckless party pretty damn well. The issue here is that “Anthem” plays a lot into the idea that parents - probably a further analogy for authority in general - possess a lot of power behind what fun can actually be had, with “Anthem Part Two”, the opener of 2001’s Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, playing even further into that by basically making it a protest against how the youth are having their futures ruined by those in power who are from generations prior. It sums up pop punk’s teenage rebellion side pretty well - it’s not good, it’s formulaic and surprisingly dull, but I can understand why it is held up as the anthem it claims out the gate to be. Now here’s the real problem: blink-182 are now the parents. What do they rebel against this time around? Life, in general. Actual adult life in fact. It’s an uplifting track with rapid, awkwardly-mixed drums and a seemingly constant crescendo of guitars that merges into a muddy, gross stretch of noise under Tom DeLonge, but an uplifting track nonetheless, an anthem for people who have been played with by the nine-to-five and tedious career. The really resonant bridge from Mark Hoppus, who recently came out of his struggle with cancer, ends with a line about no-one caring for the eventuality of him dying… but it gets cut short, taken away by the chorus. This could be a pretty effective decision, if it weren’t the only part of the song that I actually liked or moved me in any way, with even the classic pop punk drop-into-half-time trick just coming off as tired. Whilst all of these “Anthem” tracks are tired, exhausted last bursts of anger, this one is tired in a particularly sad way. It’s a pathetic song, one that can’t really be called “ANTHEM”… and that’s fine. In fact, it’s slightly endearing and not even really a slight towards the song. It’s just kind of sad to hear.

#41 - “In the City” - Charli XCX and Sam Smith

Produced by A.G. Cook, Charli XCX, George Daniel, ILYA and Omer Fedi

I have no idea what either of these artists are doing career-wise at this very moment. It seems like both Charli and Sam are struggling to hold onto the balance between mass appeal and niche novelty, and Sam may be in a similar spot to where Charli was back in the mid-2010s, or at least appears to have some kind of dissatisfaction with pop stardom as a fact rather than how they viewed it when it was a promise. Basically, it makes complete sense for the two to collaborate, and it also makes complete sense that the song is… just bad. A.G. Cook is on the boards here but his style is so washed out by the pop songwriters also involved that even Charli sounds disinterested. It’s hyperpop lite, with some interesting lyrics about finding your true self after meeting a partner in New York City’s sprawling nightlife, but over some particularly dull four-on-the-floor percussion and with vocal effects - particularly on Sam Smith’s voice - that overwhelm the actual performance, making it feel programmed and somehow so professional it breaches back onto amateur, in a cyclical motion I didn’t think could even happen. I know Charli fans will defend her continuing to experiment whilst also spreading out to mainstream pop tracks but let’s be real, how far is this really from a Joel Corry song? A.G. Cook could have had nothing to do with this and it’d sound the same. Everyone here just seems tired and confused with what to do with themselves, in an awkwardly passionless single that seemingly isn’t connected to an album yet and doesn’t have a video. Sam Smith is nowhere to be seen in the cover art or even the picture used for the YouTube audio video. This is just… nothing.

#10 - “TOO MUCH” - The Kid LAROI, Jung Kook and Central Cee

Produced by Blake Slatkin, Jasper Harris, Emile Haynie and Omer Fedi

You know, this is kind of refreshing. For once, there is no discourse. It is just a simple idea that this top 10 hit by three big-name artists, including a BTS member, with a stacked production list, Scooter Braun single push is a bad song, and that’s fine. There is nothing immoral about the song’s badness, there’s nothing particularly annoying or sad about the song’s badness, there’s nothing even all that boring about the song’s badness. It’s just bad, sometimes comically, and I’m honestly okay with that. The vocal sample is filtered to crap and placed against a similarly weightless, chippy snap and ladders of gross, inhuman leads and sounds, none of which actually seem like they actually want your attention. The chorus has too much empty space punctuated by… bilingual breathing, The Kid LAROI’s verse goes for a desperate and annoying delivery which doesn’t last too long but is still overly whiny, Central Cee is in full rent-a-rapper mode and despite having a completely fine, on-beat flow, he still somehow sounds awkward with his typically toxic, sexual lyrics that don’t go too far to be immoral, just more weird and overly wordy and detailed, maybe manipulative at times. The Kid LAROI’s second attempt at a pre-chorus is actually pretty good, he sounds great, especially on the backing vocals, right before the final chorus, wherein I couldn’t tell where he ends and Jung Kook begins. In fact, Mr. Kook has jack to do in this song. The song just seems to reflect how all three of these guys are at least slightly complacent, facing slightly less favourable results than they expected commercially but still doing well enough and is a piece of apathetic male pop music no one is actually seeking out too much anymore - and apparently Justin Bieber was supposed to be on this at some point and still has a writing credit, so that rings extra true. But that’s all it reflects. It’s just bad, and if anything sums up this week of new arrivals, it’s that: just bad.

Conclusion

And yeah, that wasn’t really hyperbole in any way. I liked none of what little the charts had to offer this week. I can barely give a sincere Best of the Week and really, Chris Brown is a runner-up for the most quality song here, which is a depressing state of affairs. He’s not getting it though, at least blink-182 gave me a lot to say with “ANTHEM PART 3”. As for the worst, I mean, pick any of them but I think I’ll give to “In the City” by Charli XCX and Sam Smith for making me feel absolutely nothing, with Aliyah’s Interlude as the Dishonourable Mention with “IT GIRL” for making me feel a pounding headache. Taylor’s next and then we’re in the holiday dregs for the next two months. Thank you for reading, sorry for the delay - genuinely out of my control, complain to the Official Charts Company - and I’ll see you next week!

[seidenbros]

I posted 6,342 times in 2022

That's 6,302 more posts than 2021!

661 posts created (10%)

5,681 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@endrega23

@i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky

@ghosttownwherenoonegoes

@toboldlynerd

@tellhound

I tagged 3,082 of my posts in 2022

#stranger things - 282 posts

#q u - 214 posts

#staffi talks - 210 posts

#the witcher - 175 posts

#staffi writes - 153 posts

#asks - 125 posts

#eddie - 93 posts

#jaskier - 87 posts

#steddie - 86 posts

#geraskier - 83 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and read a little in the one about the writer who has to travel with the team for some research to write about hockey as authentic as possi

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

534 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

#4

Hi, i got another request, though this time it's rather vague 😅

Just eddie and reader being friends and eddie going on some rant because he's stressed or starts believing what others say about him (basically angst) and reader kissing him in order to stop him cause nothing else worked. Eddie just being stunned "did you just kiss me?... Do it again"? :D

Ahhh I love this! Sorry that it took me a bit, but I hope it was worth the wait. Majoar angst with insecure Eddie? Hell yes, here we go

Requests are open | prompt lists for inspiration | Stranger Things Masterlist

Pairing: Eddie Munson x GN!Reader (I hope I haven't overlooked anything) Word count: 1928 Warning/Tags: angst with a happy ending, insecure Eddie, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end, kinda best friends to lovers (let me know if I missed anything)

Trailer Park Trash

You knew something was wrong the moment Eddie came through the door and put his bag down with a loud thud. You’d been friends for years, so long you couldn’t even recall how it had started, but while Eddie was still stuck in school, you’d graduated more than a year ago and were now earning some money in a coffee shop. You liked the work, the money wasn’t bad, and you had been able to move out of your parents’ house into your own apartment, gaining some much needed privacy and independence. Of course, Eddie had gotten a key as well, but most of the time, he still came around back and walked in through the doors to the backyard. It belonged to your apartment, but therefore, you had to take care of it, which was fine with you, seeing that you could make a little herb garden in one of the corners.

He was welcome to stay here when he needed to get out of the trailer park for a moment, or when Wayne wasn’t home for the night because he was working and that familiar feeling of loneliness settled within him, making him anxious. You’d woken up a couple of times to Eddie lying beside you in your bed, because he’d just needed you around to fall asleep. It wasn’t an easy topic, but he’d confided in you, had told you all about it, and you’d told him immediately that it was more than okay for him to come by any time. What you hadn’t told him, though, was that every time he did that, there was a warm feeling that settled in the pit of your stomach. You knew what it was, what it meant, but you tried to push it aside, not wanting to ruin your friendship. You had a bond with him that you didn’t have with anyone else, and you didn’t want to lose it.

“Hey… what’s going on?” you asked, walking into the living room where he’d taken a seat, the heels of his hands digging into his eyes, trying to chase away the oncoming headache.

“It’s… nothing.” Eddie waved a hand in the air, his leg bouncing up and down, his hands dropping to his lap, his fingers immediately starting to fiddle with his rings. It was bad, really bad. He could get fidgety, especially when he was excited, but it got worse when he was anxious.

“It’s obviously not nothing.” You walked over to him, bare feet hitting the tiles, making him look up when he heard you approach. He really didn’t want to lay this on you, wanted to just swallow it down.

“‘M just having a bad day.” He shrugged his shoulders, turning his face away from you, busying himself with the zipper on his sleeve.

“That’s not it.” Your voice was incredibly soft, because you could see and feel the tension in his shoulders, while the bouncing of his leg increased when you stopped in front of him. “Hey, look at me!”

You didn’t have to touch him, he turned his head towards you on his own accord. Your stomach dropped when you looked into his deep brown eyes that looked so… lost all of a sudden. It pained you to see him like this, so of course you wanted to know what was going on with him.

“It’s just…” Eddie’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, and as much as you wanted to concentrate on what he was saying, you were momentarily distracted by that movement. “I don’t know.” With a heavy sigh, he got up from the chair and started pacing around, arms folded over his chest. “I just feel like such a failure, you know?”

He cast a quick glance at you, but didn’t really want to see your reaction, too scared of what he might see in your eyes. Uncrossing his arms again, he reached his left hand up to pick at the skin on his lips. 

“Maybe everyone is right about me… I am a freak, I’m not gonna deny that, but all these other things…” He shook his head, still walking up and down in front of you. “I’ve got better things to do than worship the devil. Just because I like metal music and dress differently than most of these… pricks. I mean, I’ve gotten used to being called a freak and I kinda play into that a bit, but it still hurts when people flinch away from me, because they’re scared!”

The incredulous look on Eddie’s face made your heart squeeze for him, because you knew that he only played into it as a way of protecting himself. It was easier to keep people at arm’s length than to let them see how he really was. Because he was one of the kindest, most caring people you knew, who would move heaven and hell for the people he cared about, so it was ridiculous to think that anyone could be scared of him. But people in Hawkins were rather close-minded and believed a lot of shit they heard.

“I play a fantasy game because it’s fun and they think it’s the devil’s work. But when I don’t know how many guys trail after one ball when they could each get their own, everyone is cheering.” He rolled his eyes, and you had to smile at his words. You’d never gotten the attraction as well, but people here were going crazy. To be fair, you enjoyed watching ice hockey now and then, because it was a physical, fast sport, and Eddie watched it with you. But he had a point… nobody worried when they were so eager to practice and play, or when it was a different kind of game. Say something about a fantasy game and everyone was freaking out, yet all of them flocked to the cinema for different kinds of movies, be it fantasy or science fiction.

“Yeah, I don’t get the attraction either. I mean, I don’t play D&D, but I love watching you guys.” It was a safe topic, one he was always passionate about, could talk about for hours, so steering the conversation in that direction was your best bet to get him to calm down. But he didn’t.

“Yes! It’s just a hobby we love. Like reading or music.” His own hobbies, things he was also passionate about, and you remembered him giving you an hour long speech about The Lord of the Rings and how amazing all the characters were, even though you’d read all three parts yourself.

“I know, Eds-”

“So it must be me, not what I do or what I like… it’s just gotta be me. The boy who was taken away from his parents, because they didn’t take care of him.”

“Eddie that’s-”

“Whose uncle took him in, because there was nobody else.” Which was only half the truth, because Wayne would have taken him in one way or another, because he’d always loved Eddie, but right now, he wasn’t seeing straight. “The trailer park trash as they like to call me.”

“Eddie…” You sighed, your heart sinking even further. He was nothing of that, but he couldn’t see that right now, and he didn’t even listen to you, didn’t hear a thing you said. You watched him still pacing the room, and it was a wonder that his lips hadn’t started bleeding from all the skin he’d picked off of it.

“It’s what I am… the freak that lives in a trailer and doesn’t have enough money to buy a new car, like all the other little Hawkins students who get money shoved up their asses from their parents.”

You had to make him stop. Stop talking, stop doubting himself, stop pacing - because your heart broke seeing him like this. You had to surprise him, and even though you didn’t want to do it like this, it was the only thing you could think of right now, instead of knocking him out somehow.

You stepped directly in front of him, making him stop dead in his tracks, his hands curling around your upper arms, because he’d nearly knocked you over, so he tried to steady both of you. Pushing your nervousness aside, you raise your hand to frame his face and pull him towards you so that you could put your lips on his. It was just a sweet, innocent kiss, but it still sent electricity throughout your whole body - and you could feel Eddie relax beneath your touch.

His fingers flexed against your arms, but then they dropped down, found their home on your waist. Suddenly overcome with self consciousness, you pulled back, wide eyes looking up at Eddie. His eyes were still closed, while your heart beat rapidly in his chest. You’d just kissed your best friend, and you had no idea how he’d react. Yes, he hadn’t pulled back, but that didn’t mean that he’d liked it or would want to do it again. You could still say that it had just been a way to get him to shut up, nothing more, even if you were lying to his face. That had been your thought, sure, but you’d also been wanting to kiss him for a lot longer.

See the full post

542 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

#3

Im sorry if this is too intense of a request, but I’ve been going through something lately and could use the comfort. Could you do a Eddie/fem!reader where they’re in a relationship and Eddie finds out your previous boyfriend was abusive?

Hello love! I'm really sorry to hear that, and if you ever want to talk, my inbox is always open, just so you know. If you just want to get something off your chest or want a shoulder to lean on: I'm here! That being said, I pushed this up on my to-do-list and just finished it (it's not beta'd though) So that you can hopefully get some comfort out of this and I didn't go too dark in some parts.

Requests are open | prompt lists for inspiration | Stranger Things Masterlist

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!Reader Word count: 2598 something Warning/Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, domestic abuse, child abuse (mentioned), scars, violence, fluff in the end, Wayne Munson being our hero again (let me know if I missed something) Read on AO3

Two months. For two months, you’d officially been Eddie’s girlfriend now, but you’d met even before that, had gotten to know each other better, before he’d made a move and asked you out on a real date. At first, you’d been a little reserved, the memories of your ex-boyfriend still very vivid in your head, and they even haunted you at night, but Eddie had been so sweet, and hadn’t given up, so you’d agreed. After all, you’d already spent your afternoons together studying.

That was how it all had started, because you’d been paired up for a project. You’d started talking about a whole lot more than just the project. While you’d gotten some mix tapes from Eddie to give a listen to, he’d gotten a book from you that he had to give a chance. Sure, you knew that nothing would live up to The Lord of the Rings, but it was still one of your favourites. In the end, you’d told him that you’d go on a date with him if he read the book. The next day, he’d stood in front of you, book in hand and had started a whole conversation about it.

“Pick you up at seven tomorrow night,” he’d said when he’d left and ever since then, you’d spent pretty much every day together, still getting to know each other better, and falling deeper in love with each other. Still, there was a lot you hadn’t told him, but Eddie was patient.

While you loved feeling his hands on your skin, you hadn’t gone any further. You always tensed up when you felt his hands closer to the clasp of your bra. Not because you didn’t want this, but because of the memories that haunted you. Eddie always picked up on it, always told you, that you didn’t need to rush anything, but you couldn’t blame him for trying.

You’d slept over at his trailer a couple of times, had slept in his arms, or had at least tried to do so, but you were always scared that you’d wake up from the nightmares. So instead you’d stayed awake most of the night, had watched him sleep peacefully. Deep down you knew that Eddie would never hurt you, but that little nagging voice in your had told you that you’d thought the same about Luke. Until he’d raised his hand for the first time, until he’d done it again and again, had treated you like you were one of his belongings, not a human being. At one point, you’d gotten out, but only because he’d found some other girl that he’d liked more. You only hoped that he wouldn’t treat her the same way he’d treated you.

Luke was your past, not your present anymore, and it was a good thing that he’d left the school last year so that you didn’t have to see him anymore. Too bad, he hadn’t taken the memories with him. The scar close to your left temple would always remind you of him anyway.

Today, you’d spent all day outside, and were absolutely exhausted when you eventually lay in bed with Eddie, his arms wrapped around your middle, holding you close to him.

“You need your sleep, sweetheart. You can hardly keep your eyes open.” Eddie smoothed a hand over your hair before he pressed his lips to your forehead.

“I’m alright,” you whispered against his chest, stifling a yawn. You knew that you needed your sleep, but you were also afraid that you’d wake up drenched in your own sweat, yelling, because that had happened before. Your Mum had been by your side in no time, but even she didn’t know what had happened with Luke. You’d told her some sorry excuse that you’d tried to skateboard, because it had looked like so much fun, but you’d fallen off. You’d had to tell her something when the hospital had called her to pick you up.

“Sure you are.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, heard some rustling, before you looked up. “Just relax and I’ll read you something, ‘kay?”

How were you supposed to say no when he was holding your favourite book, the one you’d given him, that had led up to your first real date? He wasn’t even finished with the first page when you fell asleep with your head nestled on his chest.

It didn’t take long until you heard Eddie’s soothing voice, but it still held a hint of panick.

“It’s okay, it’s me, Y/N! It’s me, it’s Eddie!”

“No, no, no, no, no!” You mumbled still half asleep when your eyes suddenly opened, because you couldn’t move your hands anymore, hands wrapped firmly around your wrists. “LUKE, NO! Let me go!” You pushed yourself away, ripped your hands free and pressed your back against the wall behind you, chest heaving because you were breathing so hard. Your eyes needed a moment to adjust to the darkness in the room. Deep down, you knew where you were, but your nightmare was still so vivid, that it was hard to really comprehend what was going on.

“It’s not Luke, it’s Eddie,” he spoke to you again, keeping his hands up so that you could see them. His voice was still steady, but he was careful not to move too quickly. “It’s okay, you’re safe here!” While he didn’t yet know what had happened to you, he had a pretty good idea what might have caused your reaction.

“Ed… Eddie?” you whispered with a trembling voice, a sob ready to break out of you any moment now, and when he really came into focus, when you realised where you were that you were really safe, the tears started flowing. Eddie didn’t know what was the right thing to do now, whether you needed him to stay away or wrap his arms around you, so he just opened his arms for you, but stayed where he was to give you some space.

“I’m right here, sweetheart. Tell me what you need!” He wanted to help you, but he didn’t know how, but he was more than relieved when you threw yourself into his arms, curled up on his lap and buried your head in the crook of his neck. Eddie gently wrapped his arms around your body, placed both of his hands on your back and rubbed them slowly up and down. He could feel your tears against his skin, and he just held you in his arms, letting you cry your heart out, because it seemed like it was just what you needed.

You had no idea how long you’d been sitting there until you were finally able to raise your head again and look at him.

“I’m so sorry…” Your voice was hoarse from sobbing, which led up to a few hiccups. Your hands came up to rub at your eyes, brush the remaining tears away, because you were slowly calming down, feeling utterly safe in Eddie’s embrace.

“You don’t have to apologise, princess.” Eddie brushed his knuckles across your cheek, let his hand drop to take ahold of yours then. “You scared me there, but I’m more worried about you than anything else.” 

Your eyes landed on his chest, where you saw the damage you’d done. There were scratch marks from your fingernails that hadn’t been there when you’d gone to sleep.

“I hurt you.”

“That’s nothing, really,” he reassured you, raising your hand to kiss each knuckle, hopefully calming you down a little more. “You were whispering in your sleep and then you started yelling and flailing your arms around. I was just worried about you.”

“Still… I’m sorry about this.” You touched your fingertips to the scratches as if to soothe them. You never wanted to hurt him, but now you had, even if you hadn’t really been in control of your own body.

“No more apologies, okay?” Eddie leaned forward to brush a kiss over your nose, not really sure whether it was okay to properly kiss you right now or not. He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries and make you feel safe here with him. A nod from you made him smile again. “Do you want to talk about it?” He felt you tense up a little bit again, which made him add: “You don’t have to. Just know that I’m here to listen, alright?”

No, you didn’t want to talk about it, but you felt the need to say it out loud. You wouldn’t heal if you kept this to yourself and pulled away from Eddie. You’d realised that you loved him, but hadn’t been able to tell him that yet. You hadn’t found the courage to speak the words.

See the full post

560 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#2

See the full post

644 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The Stars Remind Me of You

Requests are open | prompt lists for inspiration | Stranger Things Masterlist

Pairing: Eddie Munson x (fem) Hopper!Reader Word count: 8767 Summary: El asks her older sister Y/N to help Hopper come around to Mike and her dating. Y/N’s solution to this? Get Eddie to pretend to be her boyfriend and act way worse than Mike. What starts as a joke, ends up being something very real. Warning/Tags: fluff, sooo much fluff, fake-dating, falling in love, first kiss (let me know if I missed anything) Author’s note: Congratulations to the wonderful @loveronlineee on 10k followers! What a milestone and so well deserved. So, this was a prompt from their 10k Celebration and I immediately fell in love with the Hopper!Reader prompt, so I had to write it down. And in all honestly: it's long but I could have written even more, because I love that dynamic. So I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it 💚

Read on AO3

“Y/N, you need to help me!” El proclaimed as she walked into your room, leaving the door wide open because your Dad wasn’t home, he was at work. Immediately, you lowered the volume of the music and put your book aside, laying it face down on your bed.

“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” You couldn’t even remember when you’d started calling her that, but it had stuck, because she’d liked it. It always reminded her of fall, of Halloween, when the two of you carved pumpkins with Hopper - a tradition El had quickly learned to love.

“It’s Dad.” She heaved a sigh and sat down next to you on the bed. It had been just you and Hopper until El had appeared, but you’d quickly opened your heart to her, made her part of your family. She was your sister, and you introduced her like that to everyone.

“What did he do this time?” Oh, Hopper was protective, always had been, and you still remembered how he scared your first boyfriend away with all his questions. In the end that had been better for you, because that lying, cheating bastard hadn’t deserved your time of day. Still, in that moment, you’d been so angry with your father that you hadn’t talked to him for nearly a week. He always wanted what was best for you and El, but sometimes, he had questionable methods.

“That stupid three inch rule he has for one.” El leaned back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. “And he always interrupts and calls Mike’s Mum to tell her he’ll pick me up. I’m not a child anymore!”

That much was true, but you still had to chuckle. He’d had that three inch rule since you could remember, even though you hadn’t really brought that many guys home, at least not boyfriends, but he’d made sure that the door stayed open even when you’d only had a friend over to study for a test together.

“You’re lucky he actually likes Mike. You don’t want to know what he’s like when he doesn’t like the guy you’re going out with.”

“Why?”

“Because he goes full on cop-mode on that poor guy. I mean, in the end it was good, because Trevor had been lying to me the whole time.” You shrugged your shoulders, because it had been quite some time ago, and every guy after that hadn’t really seen your home. You’d done your best to keep your dates away from your home, but Hopper had found out nonetheless. Oh, all the talks you’d had with him, but they’d at least paved the way for El a little bit. You hoped.

“Mike is not lying to me.”

“I wasn’t implying that. I know that Mike is a good guy.” You really did. You’d known him for years now, and the way he looked at El was the way you wanted someone to look at you one day. Not that you were actively looking, because you were completely content without a boyfriend by your side - especially because most guys were rather superficial and just wanted to get you in the sheets.

“We can’t even go and watch a movie without him waiting for me as soon as the movie is over.” El pushed herself up on her elbows, her eyes on you. “Can you help me? Get him off my back?”

“I might have an idea.” Slowly, a grin started forming on your lips. You loved your sister enough to help her, and in addition you could play a little prank on your Dad. But therefore, you needed someone else, and that would probably take a little bit of convincing.

“Really?”

“Yeah… but we need Mike for this and we have to talk to his friend Eddie Munson.” You knew Eddie, but not that well, but you knew the rumours - and you also knew how much of that was true - and Hopper knew about them as well. So coming home with Eddie Munson by your side would definitely take your father’s focus off your sister.

“What do you want to talk to Eddie about?” El scrunched up her nose, her eyes fixed on you. The way you grinned at her, though, made her slowly realise what was going on. “Oh… Oh!”

And that was what brought you here, to Eddie’s trailer, Mike in tow. It was still warm enough to sit outside, at least as long as the sun was out. Once the sun was gone, you’d need a sweater, but you always had one in your car just in case.

“You’re kidding, right?” Eddie asked with a laugh, shaking his head, after you’d told him your idea.

“No, we’re completely serious!” Mike looked at Eddie, El’s hand clutched in his. These two were desperate, you could tell, and it wasn’t because they wanted to sneak away to do whatever… it was all so innocent.

“Would it be so bad to pretend to go out with me?” You chuckled to cover up insecurities that were bubbling up. At least your words managed to shut him up. Eddie looked you over, before he started to smile again.

“That’s definitely not it. I mean, it’s more that nobody would believe that someone like you is actually going out with the likes of me.” Eddie winked at you, covering up his own insecurities with that. He knew what people saw when they looked at him, and it was okay. He’d grown accustomed to that, because he had a couple of people in his life who knew him, who liked him for who he was.

“Well, but what if that’s exactly the kind of guy I like?” you challenged, crossing your arms beneath your breasts. “I haven’t dated anyone in a while because I don’t want one of these stuck up idiots that are overwhelmed when you ask them what the last book they read was. And then they answer with something like does this or that sports magazine count?” You rolled your eyes, because you’d really had these conversations.

Eddie looked at you for a moment, his lips slowly curving up into a smile. He liked your answer, liked the way you’d just described the majority of the guys here.

“Fair enough,” he said, trying to hide the smile behind his hair. “On one condition… Mike, you’ll take care of cleaning the room when we’re done with Hellfire for let’s say… two months.”

“Deal!” Mike pretty much jumped at this, grinning like a lovesick teenager - which he was - because this hopefully meant that he’d be able to spend some time alone with El, without Hopper waiting around every corner.

“So… what do you need from me, sweetheart?” Eddie focused his whole attention on you now, taking a step closer. After all, if you were going to pretend to be dating, you’d need to get accustomed to each other, get used to being close to each other. 

See the full post

1,084 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[tornad001]

see i think about what ppl mean when they say "evil" and then i look at republicans talking about how children should go hungry cuz their parents need to work harder, and how queer ppl r all groomer pedos from the mouth of friend of epstein trump, and how oil billionaires should actually be able to set the planet on fire literally just for their bank accounts sake, and at restricting abortion while doing nothing to help ppl who wanna keep their kids, and the child marriage laws they defend, and all the other heinous shit they wanna do and openly talk about wanting to do. and i look at their motivations for doing it and its time and again power, control over others, and usually money. and i think when u look at all of that and then u think about how ppl use the term "evil" and if it can't be applied to them, then who can it be applied to?

now im a moral antirealist, i dont think right and wrong are set in stone in the universe, its an intersubjective game. theres nothing objectively wrong with ruining the world for profit, its only wrong cuz most everyone agrees its wrong and cuz it goes against my ungrounded and ungroundable basic axioms of freedom and equity, but its not objectively wrong cuz morality isnt a game of objectivity. so given that i don't actually believe that "good" and "evil" really exist, it becomes a shorthand that references that intersubjectivity. i don't call them evil ontologically, but descriptively. they weave evil into the world through their actions. and there's lots of times in which the motivations or inner psychology or whatever else matters when doing analysis. but there's also lots of times where it's sufficient to descriptively say "they're evil" cuz they're doing evil.

they can stop, evil isn't written into ur genetics, but as long as they continue to try their absolute hardest to make the world as worse a place for everybody as they can possibly manage, it will always be easier to call them evil. as i said, sometimes ur analysis calls for a little more nuance, but its pretty incredible how often you lose nothing by doing the informed simplicity.

so i ask u, if we can't call republicans evil, who can we? is it like... hitler and only hitler? or do u just not like the use of the word evil at all? which would be a fair position, albeit one that i don't respect. as long as ppl care about the terminology of good and evil, its a rhetorical tool to be used by those of us who don't actually buy the premise of the good vs evil dichotomy. if u think calling republicans evil is rhetorically ineffective, again, a fair position, but not one id agree with. i think its phenomenal for drawing into clarity the utter absurdity and anti-life basis of literally all conservative politics. (also i don't morally judge them for their evil cuz they were groomed into it, they're as much victims of the abuse as they are perpetuators of it)

tldr; i agree the concept of an "evil person" doesn't exist, but so long as we're in a paradigm of using the language of morality, im not gonna hamstring my rhetorical efficacy by not calling heinous shit evil. i don't think u gain anything politically by avoiding it, cuz the christian right isn't gonna stop calling us evil groomer pedos. also, to a very large degree, i don't care about political efficacy because what i write on tumblr is for me to express my feelings (sometimes that takes the form of hate towards evil things), and in my day to day life i don't talk to anyone, much less about politics, who isn't already mostly in agreement with me. there's many talented ppl out there who're great at reaching the other side, but that's not me and i don't try to be that. i like nuance when i think it's deserved or needed, but the republican party does not deserve my nuance in this respect. they're evil, and i'm not gonna stop saying it until it stops being tru

Some people’s political opinions can really just be boiled down to “can anybody tell me who the good guys and the bad guys are”

[izzysdiary003]

Drove really well to tesco today! Proud that i can drive after a 9 week break from it. Headache all the time (even iller now i’ve stopped doing stuff and am home?). L still thinks liking dan and phil is embarassing and posted about it. I think that is more embarassing for her. I feel bad for people who are too worried about what’s cringe to enjoy themselves. With exceptions (kkg) i am so reluctant to shit on stuff which used to make me so excited…. I love the past me that loved stuff like mcr so much. Passion is one of the greatest things a person can have.

However i am still desperate to be as cool/interesting/perceived as her. Obsession and jealousy lingers. She posts about her notes app, i look through my own to see what is post-worthy. I feel the need to read and do cool stuff solely when i see others do it. This is bad!

I cannot let the rot set in this holiday! I am gna read and sleep early tn, get up earlier tomorrow and do things. Start couch to 5k, eat nice food, start my greek and latin. I could even find a new spot to do it.

I should really get in touch with people too. People are all we’ve got.

I love that i’m rewatching the hunger games with my family. Catching fire last night. This resurgence is the best thing to happen this year in pop culture…

I love those corecore videos where someone smashes a plate and then there are these vague liminal videos that reaffirm life as interesting and emotional and fast paced. I think right now is a very limited way to live - at home in a small town, dark at 4pm, tired and ill. I need a richer internal world for sure or i’ll get devastatingly bored not running through fields or living under city lights.

I got a video talking about the bad side effects of anorexia today. Hair loss. Always cold. Loss of bowel control. How awful that all is. Yes i want to be a little skinnier but do i really? Its so not something i can let myself romanticise. I see girls w a little meat on their bones and i think they’re so gorgeous. That could be me.

I really need to learn to eat healthy ish and exercise but not be consumed with guilt. I definitely gain a feeling of control from calorie checking stuff. This is okay for now but could be bad. Let’s work on it! If i gained weight, would that really be so terrible? Would people value me less? I fucking hope not and i know they wouldn’t. I want to be strong.

I dont know why i care about L so much in the way that i measure up my life to hers to assume my successes and failures. Who fucking cares if she is skinnier than me. It’s not a competition! Imagine if she knew that i even thought about that…

My friends tell me that i am funny and interesting. It’s true. I need to get that into my head and work on my self confidence so severely. Low self esteem is legit at the core of every problem i have.

Not liking yourself is stressful (what did i say? Did i embarrass myself? I’ve made them hate me forever!). It’s lonely. It’s time-consuming (what do i eat next? And next? And next?). It makes you a narcissist!

I also need to stop watching porn. Bad habit which will only get worse! It’s when i admit these things that i realise this diary must be just for me. I feel like im writing with an audience in mind until i say unglamorous stuff like this. But u do what u gotta do for the God of Self-Improvement.

I’ll say this to myself. I love you! You have got this! You are worthy! You are trying!

[cleverri]

Hihi !! I love how u write snake sm ❤️❤️

Can I get some hc of snake and piranha with a teen member of the gang that the gang took in that follows them almost everywhere, maybe they accidentally call them dad or brother 🏃‍♀️

MULTI x TEEN!READER | written by MOD clever

warnings; some cuss words.

platonic headcanons of Mr. Snake and Mr. Piranha with a teen reader...

Mr. Snake

- Out of the entire gang, he’s definitely the most ‘annoyed’ by it. He’ll complain that they’re slowing the team down, and needs to sit out on most heists, or is just annoyed by their antics.

- But let’s be real here, he really only cares about their well-being, and wants to make sure they’re safe. He gets panicked when they mess up cause… What if they get caught? Sure, maybe he’ll reason this off with,

- “Oh, shut it. I just don’t want to hear any of you guy’s complaining. That would just make everything worse.”

- Nah man, he cares. The only thing that makes it slightly worse is that… (Y/N) following him everywhere would be so annoying and confusing to him. Like, can’t they go hang out with Mr. Shark or Webs instead???

- He gets, teasingly, called a dad from the gang. I mean, he’ll still act more grumpy than usual whenever this happens, but it’s something he’s just very used to already. So let’s just note now, it may take him a second to realize, if (Y/N) were to ever call him ‘dad,’ to realize it wasn’t exactly in a teasing manner.

- So, let’s just say it’s his birthday within the movie. The heist was a success, and now they’re back at the hideout, celebrating his birthday- Much to Snake’s ‘dismay.’ Blowing out the candles, wishing for a toast- Yada.

- “Alright, alright fine! I made a lot of enemies in my time, and I mean a lot. But out of all the people in the world… I hate you guys the least.”

- The guys joked around for a couple of seconds, saying how it brought tears to their eyes, but one little phrase stuck out to him the most.

- “Awe, thanks dad.”

- Snake only rolled his eyes, before being crowded by his friends, getting ready to take a picture. It wasn’t until he put that certain photo onto the fridge that he realized… They didn’t say that in a teasing manner. He turned back around and blinked at the certain teen, watching as they grabbed a hold of Piranha after he had devoured the cake. And he simply just smiled to himself.

~~~

Mr. Piranha

- It’s a fight for Webs and Piranha when talking about who is able to get along the ‘most’ with (Y/N), they’re both equal. Piranha is just able- If people weren’t too scared of him, he’d probably get along with teenagers a lot, due to his impulsive and chaotic nature.

- But also probably not the best influence on (Y/N). Like I said, he’s impulsive, practically crazy. Oh, they’re about to do something completely dangerous? OH HE IS ABSOLUTELY IN!

- "You want us to go and steal the bank by ourselves? Bueno, ¡vamos al grano, chica/chico!"

Translation; “Well, let's get down to business, girl/boy!”

- Has the most ‘big brother’ energy out of the whole group, I’ll be honest. He’s a ride-or-die person for the entire group But mostly for (Y/N) in this situation. If he was tall enough, he’d absolutely ruffle their hair, and lock them into a hug.

- Absolutely has gotten hurt for their safety. Was it, yet again, done due to his impulsive actions? … Yes, but seriously, he’s always getting himself hurt for the rest of the group. This wouldn’t exactly be a shocking moment at all.

- There would be no accident with calling each other sibling terms, Piranha already calls his gang such terms. Either teasingly or genuine, there’s no way they haven’t called each other with sibling terms.

- “¡Oye, hermano/hermana, el Lobo te quiere!”

Translation; “Yo, brother/sister, the Wolf wants you!”

- “¡Presiona el acelerador, hermano/hermana! La policía nos está ganando terreno, ¡quiero una mejor persecución de autos!”

Translation; “Press on the gas, sis/bro! The police are gaining on us, I want a better car-chase!”

- He loves calling his friends by family terms, because he genuinely makes him happy knowing they’re more like family to him. Having someone that he can do on, practically on a daily basis though makes it so much better.

[myherowritings]

PART 4. HOW THE RICH SUCK THEIR OWN DICKS

SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.

PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader

WORD COUNT. 2.9k

GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut

WARNINGS. enji makes an appearance bleh, enji being classist, enji...ew, okay i swear most of the chapter is shouto and y/n being cute though 

A/N. ngl i have genshin brainrot real bad at the moment but i still have motivation for ceo!shouto and ceo!shouto only u.u there are only 7 parts to this series so we’re at the halfway mark already AHHH i hope u enjoy reading and lmk what u think!! :3 xx sof

SERIES MASTERLIST

© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

Shouto’s day went from good to bad faster than it took to pull an espresso. 

It started off with a good morning text from you and having a brief, but pleasant, interaction at your work. Actually, the past few weeks have been going along a similar routine that he found himself settling into all too comfortably. You even upheld your promise of stealing him away one weekend to walk around the park, get food, and just have time to relax and be happy for once. 

Getting to be in your presence almost daily became so normalized in his life that even some of his employees heard about the cute barista with the best pastries. Yet, although he saw you often, he found himself wanting to talk to you more and more.

But for now, Shouto told himself to settle with starting the mornings off with you. They were the best mornings he’s had in a while and he didn’t want to sound ungrateful. 

Today, however, went sour fast after he heard his father was coming up to the top floor for a meeting with him. He didn’t find the idea of Enji visiting to be the most abhorrent thing, but the moment his father opened his mouth, Shouto quickly took that back. 

As expected, his father reminded him about the annual charity gala Todoroki Enterprises was expected to attend. Handfuls of galas ran through the year, but the once hosted by Naruhata Industries under the guise of raising money and awareness for the charities of choice.

In theory, a charity gala ball sounded humanitarian and a way for the upper class to give back, but in reality, most of the funds collected didn’t go to the actual charities, instead they went to paying for the venue, live bands, entertainment, the most expensive catering, decorations, and more. What presented itself as a charitable event in the eyes of the public was really a way rich people could flaunt their wealth and feel good about themselves for doing absolutely nothing to benefit society. A way for the rich to suck their own dicks, if you would. 

Shouto absolutely hated it. 

It was also a press opportunity and, in his father’s eyes, a way to gain public favor for the Todoroki business. Today, Enji attempted to tell him that bringing a date that fit the mold of high society was the best way for him to establish rapport through media coverage. Apparently, the image news outlets have placed on Shouto were either a heartbreaker and playboy with no care for other’s emotions, or a monotonous stoic who seemed like a robot with no care for other’s emotions.

In either cases, there seemed to be a theme of Shouto not caring for others. 

He sighed. 

“You can’t keep that image, Shouto,” said Enji with his arms folded across his chest. “If the media sees you with someone—a nice girl with a good upbringing—then your likeability will increase tenfold. If there’s no one you like, I’ll have to set up a date for you.”

For a while, he was torn between telling his dad to fuck off and trying to do as he said to keep peace within the family. But then, an image of you popped into his head.

“Actually, there is someone I like.” 

Enji narrowed his eyes. “Oh? An educated girl with wealthy parents?”

“There’s someone I like,” he simply repeated, the tone in his voice growing cold. 

He didn’t know anything about your upbringing or family nor did he exactly care. Shouto didn’t want to bring a date to the dumb gala, but if he had to, he would want it to be you. Only if you agreed, of course. But if you weren’t willing, then he had to face the facts that his father would most likely force a date of his own choosing upon Shouto. 

“That’s good you like someone, son,” Enji said through his teeth, “but we have to make sure it’s not some sort of...loose woman. That’d be even worse publicity—”

“I like someone and if you really cared about my happiness like you said you did, that’d be enough.”

There was a tense silence in the air. Shouto didn’t have enough fingers to count the number of times Enji had told him and his siblings that he would try to be a better dad. A caring dad who only wanted what was best for his children. A better husband for Rei. A better example for the public. The first few times, Shouto believed it. But Enji said the same things over and over again with no lasting change and Shouto was just fed up. 

After hearing the same lie told to him over and over again, it seemed to lose its weight. He seemed to lose his hope in his father ever changing.

Still, Shouto had to deal with him for as long as he lived. That much he knew as a son living in this society. 

But he hoped Enji at least had enough guilt to let him have this.

“Fine.”

Shouto blinked in surprise. 

Enji stated, “If you think your date can help your public image and not be a complete embarrassment to the business, you can bring them.”

That was the closest thing to approval Shouto would get today. He nodded and listened along to whatever else his father had to say, the only thing actually on his mind was thinking about how he would ask you out on a date to some stuffy gala. And hope that you’d say yes.

— ✩ —

“Wait, so, let me get this straight— You’re the CEO of Todoroki Enterprises and even after almost two months of knowing you, I had no clue?”

He inclined his head, looking solemn. “Yes, I’m sorry. Are you upset with me for not telling you sooner?” 

Initial shock aside, you couldn’t say that you were too surprised at the revelation. You knew Shouto was wealthy and probably in some high-up position in the business industry, but you never knew to what extent. A CEO? That had to be the highest rank in a company! And a company as well known as Todoroki Enterprises? 

The thought made you a little nervous. The guy you slowly befriended over the course of short cafe visits and silly texts was Mr. Todoroki? Or worse— The guy you stole away from doing work for a whole weekend was someone as busy as a CEO? You internally groaned. That had to be against laws of the universe or something. 

“I’m not upset, no,” you said with a shake of your head. “I just...can’t believe it I guess.” Eyes widening, you were quick to amend your words. “Well, I can believe it. You seem very intelligent and well-put together and, uh, rich! But I guess I just didn’t think a CEO would be so funny and kind.” You winced. “Oh no, is that mean to say?”

“I don’t think it’s mean.” He shrugged. “You’re right to say most people in this field aren’t known for their delightful temperaments.” 

You absentmindedly drummed your finger against your thigh, trying to process this new information. “So you’re Todoroki Shouto...and you want me to be your date to the Naruhata Charity Ball?” 

“Yeah. I know it’s a huge favor to ask, and I promise you can say no if you choose,” said Shouto in earnest. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to agree.” 

With a hum, you stretched your legs out under the table before crossing one over the other again. It was a Saturday afternoon where you had no work and Shouto managed to escape from his for a few hours of the day. You took him to your favorite ice cream place nearby and the two of you ate at a dining area outside the establishment. 

Just a mundane day as two friends hanging out with each other where you found out one of those friends was the chief executive officer of a billion dollar business headquartered in Japan. 

Totally normal, everyday occurrences, obviously. 

“And you need a date for this event?” you asked. In all honesty, you would be more than happy if Shouto asked you out on a date. He was fun and you enjoyed getting to know him. But these particular circumstances made you a tad bit more nervous.

“I normally wouldn’t need to bring one, but my father insists it’d help my public image and in turn the image of the company.” With a pinched look on his face, he took a bite of his ice cream. “In other words I bring a date or he picks one for me.” 

You weren’t the most caught up on super rich people drama, but it was almost infamous how estranged the Todoroki family was. Again, you didn’t know much but you did know enough to say that Todoroki Enji seemed like a Class A asshole. If you could help Shouto out with his weird dilemma, you saw no reason not to. 

“So this charita gala is like where they have those live auctions and silent auctions and get tipsy on fancy wine and champagne for hours right?”

He tilted his head to the side. “Yeah. Have you attended one?” 

“Not quite,” you said with a sheepish smile. “I’ve volunteered at one in school though. As one of those runners? It was fun. I got a bunch of those tiny complimentary candies!” Your mouth watered at the memory. “What kind of drug were in those candies? I’ve never had candy so good before!”

“The tiny, circular candies with the excessively big wrapper? The fruity ones?”

You shot up in your seat, excited he knew what you were talking about. “Yes! That’s the one!” 

The corners of his mouth quirked upwards. “I always see those at these types of events.”

“So… The candy will be there at the gala you want me to accompany you to?” 

“Most likely.”

“Can I take a bunch of those from candies there…?” you asked with an optimistic grin.

“I’ll be your accomplice in sneaking them out.”

“It’s a date!” you said before Shouto could get another word out. 

You’d be reunited with those yummy, fancy candies you’ve been separated from for far too long. What other reason did you need to agree? 

With a determined look on your face, you held your hand out for Shouto to shake to seal the deal. 

He blinked. “Wait. Did you want to discuss it some more? Maybe have a few days to think it through? I’m grateful, of course, but I don’t want you regretting anything.”

“No. I won’t regret it. I’d do anything to taste those candies again.”

Shouto looked unsure what to say. “Isn’t there some parable warning people not to be bribed by candy?”

“Not to take candy from a baby?”

“No. Not that one.”

“That’s the only one I know.”

“Never mind then.” 

The two of you exchanged confused looks before letting out fits of laughter. You weren’t sure if either of you knew exactly what the other was laughing at, but the moment was an enjoyable one nonetheless. 

“Yet another reason to bring me to that fancy event— I’ll make sure you’re entertained all the way through,” you playfully bragged, smoothing down the front of your shirt. 

“The event will definitely be more bearable with you there.” He licked a small bit of his ice cream from his pink spoon, making a sound of approval. “But you can change your mind about coming at any time, Y/N.”

“I won’t,” you said, holding a pinky out. “Pinky promise.”

With what seemed like a bashful expression on his face, Shouto extended his own pinky to interlock yours. You sealed it with a kiss and a heart, like you were a kid again. 

“Now, am I supposed to be in love with you at the gala?” you asked nonchalantly, finishing off your last bite of ice cream. He offered you a spoonful of his and you tried not to grow too flustered at Shouto feeding you his dessert. You murmured a quiet, “Thanks.”

He gave you a small smile. “You’re welcome. As for being in love… I don’t think that’s necessary. Just pretend you like being around me, I think.”

Under the table, you nudged his shoe with yours, pulling a face. “I don’t have to pretend about that, silly.” 

“Ah, well,” he paused, offering you another spoonful of ice cream, “I don’t either.”

“I’m glad.” Then, “Is this strawberry? I was never a big strawberry ice cream fan but for some reason this tastes so good.” 

You ignored the nagging voice in your head that said maybe it wasn’t so much the ice cream flavor but who you were enjoying it with. 

The two of you finished his dessert in peace and after cleaning up the area with a napkin, Shouto turned to you with an intent look on his face.

“Before the gala, would you mind if I talk you shopping so you could pick out what to wear?” he asked. “I would pay of course— It’s the least I could do to say thank you.”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to thank me! You’re my friend and I want to help.” You thought about it for a moment. “And get the candy.”

“Anything for the candy.”

“Exactly,” you said in complete seriousness. “But I wouldn’t mind going shopping with you. You could help me decide what to wear! I’m not exactly sure how to dress for an event as fancy as this.”

“You could wear anything to the event and still look amazing.” His words were ones of flattery but his tone sounded completely genuine. 

Heat rose to your cheeks at the compliment. “Look who’s talking— You’re practically runway ready no matter what time of day.”

“I’ve never walked a runway before.”

You stifled a laugh at his literal interpretation of your words. Cute. “Me neither.”

He looked confused at why you were grinning, but it still brought a smile to his own lips.

By now the sun had begun to set and Shouto was walking you to the train to see you off before you went home.

“Can I pick you up next weekend in the morning?” he said. “So we can get your outfit for the gala?”

“Sure! I’ll text you my address.” 

He nodded in contentment. “And again, you don’t have to worry about any costs.”

“Is this why my friends have called you a sugar daddy?” you teased, bumping your shoulder against his as you walked down the street, side-by-side. “But thank you. Shopping will be fun— We can even match colors!” 

“Mn.” He looked between the both of you, as if trying to picture what colors would complement each other. 

You crossed the sidewalk in a comfortable silence, enjoying the scenery by Shouto’s side. A few times, you even felt his knuckles brush against yours and you had the undeniable urge to hold his hand. Would that be weird? you asked yourself before deciding against it. 

Just because he asked you to be his date for the Naruhata Charity Ball didn’t mean he actually liked you, right? It was just a favor from a friend to a friend.

Something about that though made your stomach unsettled. Maybe part of you wanted it to be a real date— Wanted this to be a real date. 

“So I won’t be seeing you tomorrow,” you said after a moment’s silence, trying not to look too dejected. 

You knew he’d still text good morning and good night and ask you random things throughout the day (all of which you found really endearing, by the way), but it was still different from seeing him in person. Even though your time together in the morning was small, they still were enough to make your day. The thought of your waking hours being so entwined made you nervous, but for some reason it didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would. In fact, it was sort of...nice. 

“I’ll see you Monday morning, right?” you asked hopefully, though you were already fairly certain of the answer.

Shouto nodded. “Of course. It’s already marked on my calendar.”

“Ever the flatterer, hmm?” 

“Not flattery, just the truth.” He pulled his phone out and showed you his (rather packed) calendar app. To your surprise, a little reminder that said ‘See Y/N :)’ was marked on his Monday schedule. 

Unable to stop the beam from spreading across your lips, you hid your face in your hands. Gosh— Did he have to be so cute? He was making it harder and harder to only like him as a friend. And even now, you weren��t sure if you liked him only as a friend.

But you pushed those thoughts away.

That was something to deal with at a later time.

When you reached the train station you normally took home, you turned to Shouto, giving him a big hug. He was tall and warm. You could feel his lean muscles through his button-down shirt as you rested your head against his chest and arms around his waist. 

“Thanks for today,” you mumbled. “I’ll see you again soon.”

After a pause, he gave you a hug back, hands rubbing hesitant circles on your back in a way that made you smile. “Text me when you get home safe,” he said as you both reluctantly released each other from an embrace.

“I will,” you promised. “You do the same! Later, Shouto!” 

And with that, you waved goodbye and boarded the train, unable to shake the unwavering grin on your face all the way home.

a/n: when shouto started feeding y/n spoonfuls of his ice cream i cried (Ｔ▽Ｔ) that’s so cUTE OF HIM LIKE PLS SIR STOP BEFORE I FALL MORE IN LOVE WITH U !! >:O he’s such a sweetheart ahhhh,, i hope all the fluff made up for the brief appearance of endeavor ಠ╭╮ಠ  FHDJKF 

what to expect in the next part:

shopping for the gala time !! 

y/n struggles with their fEeLiNGs~ part 2

oh my, y/n has to try on dresses? oh my, it’d be a shame if they needed help putting it on :o *fake gasp* 

yeah things get just a lil steamy but shh

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Sole Crusher

Well... It's finally here... the episode introducing the new bee hero. And what do you know? It looks like I was right about how the new character would be portrayed.

It's kind of funny how I made predictions exaggerating what could happen, and they were surprisingly accurate. Isn't that funny?

Let's just get into the seventh (chronologically the seventh and the seventh episode in the season to air after “Mr. Pigeon 72”) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Sole Crusher. Damn, I hate that a pun this clever was used for the title.

We get to the point pretty quickly with the first scene being Zoe arriving in Paris and getting a tour of the city. She asks to stop at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, where she meets Marinette through some brief Unfunny Marinette Slapstick. The two quickly strike up a conversation.

I mean, it's not like Zoe is the sister of the absolute worst human being in existence, right?

Marinette compliments Zoe's shoes, and she points out that she designed them herself, and wrote every good thing anyone has ever said to her on them. But because she only has one friend, there's only a standard “I <3 U” on the left shoe.

So Zoe leaves the bakery and heads to Le Grand Paris where she meets her mother, Audrey. Unlike how she talked with Marinette, Zoe pretends to be just as snobby as Audrey in order to fit in. She then meets up with Chloe, who criticizes her for having poor person things like a phone without any diamonds embedded in it. And then she sees Zoe's shoes.

Look, that meme was already dated when it was referenced in Black Panther three years ago. Please don't try to reference memes in 2021, Miraculous Ladybug.

Chloe offers some golden heels while saying that those kind of shoes are for winners to wear and crush the losers underneath. This is the only episode to mention this kind of ideology, and believe me, it gets worse when Chloe decides to teach Zoe how to be like her.

Get used to this. This episode is all about demolishing any semblance of likability in Chloe's character. Now that Astruc doesn't have to bother with writing Chloe with decency since she's not Queen Bee, watch as he turns her into an absolute caricature of her former self.

Yes, Chloe has ordered her father to give her a lot of frivolous things in the past, but she has been shown to care about him, like immediately rushing to hug him after she was safe in “Origins” and showing concern for when he was akumatized into Malediktator while apologizing for causing it. For the love of God, one of the first things she did when she allied with Hawkmoth at the end of Season 3 was to have him unto her parents' akumatization. I guess she only cared about her rich parents for their status and not because she actually loved them right?

Next up on the list of Chloe's positive qualities to ruin is her friendship with Sabrina.

🎶It's seven o'clock in the morning🎶 🎶I can't believe they made this scene🎶 🎶With the writing Astruc's enforcing🎶 🎶It's like he's trying to piss off me🎶

Yep, Chloe doesn't view Sabrina in a twisted view of friendship anymore. Now she's a slave. I'm not exaggerating by the way, he actually said that in a tweet.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

Okay, so I guess all those times we saw Chloe playing superheroes with Sabrina in “Antibug” and “Miraculer” were just a slave driver playing with their property. Actually apologizing to Sabrina for getting her akumatized in those episodes? Protecting her from the Scarlet Akumas in “Ladybug”? She was just interested in keeping her slave around. I think Astruc may have slept through the slavery unit in his history class. Yes, Sabrina was mostly used as a joke to show how controlling Chloe could be, but there were still semblances of an actual friendship between the two.

Chloe arrives at school and introduces Zoe as her half-sister, despite being the same age and having the same mother. Because I guess we can add basic biology to the list of things the writers don't understand. Now that we're at school, Chloe's friendship with Adrien is next up on the chopping block.

Yep, despite being Adrien's only friend and making a big deal about valuing his friendship to the point where she threw a big party just to make sure he wouldn't leave her and risked cooperating with an Akuma to save him, now Chloe just sees Adrien as a rich meal ticket. Two of the earliest episodes to show Chloe had a more compassionate side to her, and they just undid them. Even as much as I hated the episode, “Felix” showed Chloe was willing to cooperate with Marinette and her friends just to find a way to cheer Adrien up on the anniversary of his mother's not-death.

For the love of God, Astruc, 1984 was supposed to warn people about what could happen if they rewrote the past, not encourage people to rewrite the past. He probably finished Animal Farm thinking Snowball really did work alongside the humans, didn't he?

Marinette comes up and Zoe pretends to hate her, leading Marinette to wonder why she did that. She texts Zoe (she gave her number to her earlier) and invites her to a concert on the Liberty, but Chloe finds out. Zoe thinks fast and pretends it's just so she can torment her more. Chloe then takes out a book listing all the ways she can torture Marinette. I wonder if this is a metaphor for the writing process behind most of the episodes last season.

Zoe decides to go outside for some fresh air, and Andre comforts her. Funny how Andre bends over backwards to give Chloe whatever she wants, yet he's willing to actually talk to Zoe like an actual parent. Andre tries to cheer Zoe up, but she talks about her past where she had to put on an act so she would be liked, but (bet you've never heard this before) she just wants to be accepted for who she truly is. The surge of emotions is enough for Shadowmoth to akumatize her into Sole Crusher.

In addition to having one of the most clever puns for an Akuma name, I actually like Sole Crusher's design. Not only is it a good excuse to reuse Chloe's character design, it makes sense thematically, as Chloe was trying to mold Zoe into a copy of herself. The gold and diamonds also make sense given Chloe's love for shiny things. Her powers tie into the bizarre belief Chloe has about stepping on the winners. Whenever Sole Crusher kicks or steps on someone, she absorbs them and gets progressively bigger, making it easier to do so. While it's not cracking my top ten anytime soon, it's still an interesting character design.

Sole Crusher heads to the hotel to get Chloe, and she manages to get away pretty quickly. Maybe in an alternate universe, she's a track star? For some reason, she runs to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and then... Oh my God... pushes Marinette's parents so they get absorbed by Sole Crusher, before trying to do the same with Marinette.

When has Chloe ever done something like that? Whenever she endangered someone during an Akuma attack, it was unintentional or a result of her naivety. She was only trapped in Pixelator's dimension because Adrien tried diving to save her, she only alerted Rogercop to Ladybug's presence because she eagerly called out for her, and during “Zombizou” she only tried to throw Sabrina towards the horde of kissing zombies once, and that was meant to highlight her growth. The only person to actually do stuff like this consistently is Lila, but I guess she got vaporized by Big Brother offscreen.

This episode is determined to make the audience hate Chloe by retconning everything about her character while portraying her as a complete monster. As bad as Chloe could get, she was never selfish enough to use anyone as a human shield. This kind of behavior honestly could be explained by saying Chloe was lashing out as a result of losing the Bee Miraculous permanently, but the events of the Season 3 finale aren't mentioned ONCE, not even in the next episode that introduces Queen Bee's replacement! How the hell can you set up the next Bee hero without explaining why the original needs to be replaced in the first place?! And trust me, I'm going to talk about Zoe replacing Chloe later.

Sole Crusher grabs Marinette in her hand, so the Horse Kwami, Kaalki, uses her power to teleport over to Adrien's house and inform him Ladybug needs help, meaning once again Adrien did nothing in this episode before becoming Cat Noir.

At the Liberty, Chloe offers more victims to Sole Crusher in the form of the band Kitty Section (consisting of Luka, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, and Mylene) and theatens the giant golden supervillain she can send her back to Paris, even though she's really not in a position to bargain right now. And she STILL continues to insult her. Do you hate Chloe yet? Come on, do you? The writers won't stop until you do.

After we see Sole Crusher's conflicted emotions, Marinette is set free by Cat Noir and transforms into Ladybug, immediately summoning her Lucky Charm, a shoehorn. They only learn Zoe's sneakers were where she were akumatized thanks to Chloe's ranting, so the episode unintentionally made Chloe save the day. Ladybug breaks into Le Grand Paris and breaks the sneakers where Zoe hid them, using the shoehorn to open a door. So Sole Crusher is de-evilized, Ladybug fixes the damage, and gives yet another charm to Zoe.

Afterwards, Zoe goes to the Liberty, apologizes for the act she put on, all while divulging to the audience her “tragic backstory”.

Of course, everyone welcomes her with open arms.

And right here is where the biggest problem I have with Zoe as a character. I normally hesitate to use this term given how often it gets thrown around when criticizing characters these days, but I really can't say anything else.

Zoe... is a Mary Sue.

For those who don't know, the term Mary Sue originated in a Star Trek fanfiction from 1973 satirizing several self-insert stories at the time. Most of these stories showed a beautiful young woman joining the crew of the Enterprise and immediately gaining the attention of the crew. Mary Sue parodied this character archetype by showing how much she was appreciated by Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, the latter being driven to tears at her funeral despite his species being emotionless normally.

What does this have to do with Zoe? She has the exact same storyline as Mary Sue in the parody fanfiction. Her mere presence is enough to make Chloe act extremely out of character in an attempt to make her look better, and as soon as she apologizes while giving a frankly vague backstory, everyone just accepts her as their friend, and I mean everyone in the entire class. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't feel earned. Why was she bullied at her old school? What did her bullies have against her? What caused her to stop going along with her peers, and why did everyone turn against her? How the hell did the bullies who put cockroaches in another student's locker get no punishment while the victim was forced to transfer schools? It's an intentionally unclear backstory designed to make the audience feel sympathetic towards Zoe without actually doing anything else.

I want to ask anyone reading this who watched the episode a question: Outside of her backstory, what do we actually know about Zoe?

What is her personality like? She's nice? Socially awkward? We've never had a character like that in Miraculous Ladybug before! Sorry Marinette, Adrien, Juleka, Nathaniel, Mylene, and Marc, there's a new character with more personality than all of you combined!

What are her goals? She wants to be an actress? Great, but why? Even though there's no clear answer for why Marinette loves fashion, or why Alya loves journalism, or why Nino loves DJing, you can still see the passion in their lives when they do something related to their goals. Zoe only says she wants to be an actress, connecting it to her people pleaser backstory (and given how it ended, she must be a terrible actress), and in the next episode, she immediately gets the lead role in a student film.

When Mylene got the starring role in the movie in “Horrificator”, we at least got snippets of her acting skills in the same episode that established her desire to be an actress, which is also implied to be because she was inspired by her father in “The Mime”. She didn't just say she wanted to be an actress and got the leading role. She still had problems to overcome like her cowardice, which threw her own self-confidence into doubt. Here, Zoe just says she wants to be an actress, and is rewarded for no reason the very next episode.

Zoe basically exists only to be a foil to Chloe, and the writers had no idea what to do in terms of a personality, so they just dumped a bunch of extremely likable character traits onto her without thinking of how her character could come off. And like I said, she's a Mary Sue.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. I've seen a handful of posts on this very site calling Zoe a Mary Sue. In fact, I even asked another Tumblr user @anxresi​ to quote their take on Zoe being a Mary Sue, which I couldn't even top in terms of accuracy. They basically listed off five things that made Zoe a Mary Sue.

She has to have a ‘tragic backstory’ so all the other characters will fall in love with her. Usually within minutes, in the very first episode they’re introduced.

She has to have a supercute design so that the audience at home will fall in love with her. And if they don’t, they’re automatically dismissed as ‘haterz’ even if their objections are purely from a writing POV.

Her only flaw will be thinking too little of herself. “What, lil ol’ me as the Bee Miraculous holder? With my shyness, colorful shoes, chic beret and personalized pink strip in my hair? Gosh, who’d have thought it?”

The contrast to her half-sister will be a constant plot point, with Chloe always getting dumped on. “You see, kids? Bad things happen to bad people. But you see this super-sweet girl over here? She gets a free DAD. Instant FRIENDS. To star in her own MOVIE. The chance to be a SUPERHERO, even though she only arrived last week. Who cares if she has no depth, no personality and barely any reason for being in the show, apart from being a massive ‘Up Yours’ to all the Chloe fans out there?”

What about character development, Mr Generic Zag Guy? “Development? What’s that?! Zoe is already perfect as she is. The only ‘development’ she’ll receive is having her hair done in the first episode she’s introduced. Besides, That‘d’ word is banned here at Zag studios. Why do you think we abandoned Chloe’s stillborn arc so quickly? This is a KIDS show, why bother trying to create a complex character with more than one dimension?”

This is essentially who Zoe is. She's perfect, has no character flaws, has a cute design so the audience will love her already, and was designed only to replace Chloe as Queen Bee. That's all she is.

So the episode ends with Zoe feeling happy at all the new friends she made while we get one of the most blatant attempts of symbolism in the ending card I've ever seen.

See, look. While Marinette is happily talking with Zoe with the image of Ladybug next to them, Chloe is to the far left with an EVIL purple aura, showing how bad she is compared to how great Zoe is. Only a braindead moron would actually like Chloe over the super awesome and pretty Zoe!

I'll give my final thoughts on the episode in the next part where I analyze this plotline as a whole.

LINK TO “QUEEN BANANA” REVIEW

[wizardimagines]

secret, part 1, draco x reader

pairing: draco malfoy x reader word count: 1,2k summary: you and draco has been secretly dating for quite some time, but it’s getting too overwhelming. a/n: hii !! this is officially my first imagine and i decided to write about the one and only, draco malfoy. please feel free to request, don’t be shy!! i hope u guys enjoy the first part of this imagine , let me know if u would like the second part as well. thank u so much for reading, enjoy ! <3 READ PART 2 HERE                 ____________________________________________ When you and Draco started secretly dating, you already knew what you were getting yourself into. You knew all the trouble the relationship would bring, yet you decided to go with it. At first, sneaking around late at night and secretly passing each other notes during your classes only made you more excited; the thrill of doing something that you weren’t supposed to be doing. Sure, sometimes it would get hard. Especially when it came to the part where you weren’t allowed to talk to him. Or even act like you knew him.  Draco was terrified of having his reputation ruined and the worst thing he could possibly imagine was people knowing he was in love. It would completely shatter his image as a cold and heartless Slytherin. So for that reason, he was always very careful when it came to sneaking around. He would often meet you past midnight at the astronomy tower purely because he knew no one would be there to catch you two in the act, but if he felt a little out of his comfort zone and was looking to have a little bit of fun; he would pass you a note during your class telling you to meet him in the bathroom.

Now, of course, this hurt you a tiny bit. You wanted the whole world to know that you and Draco were a thing, while he didn’t want anyone knowing about you two. All you wanted was to be able to see him without having to sneak around, feeling like a secret. But you knew Draco wasn’t a big fan of love and especially not out in public, so eventually, you just accepted the fact that if you wanted to be with him there was nothing you could possibly do about it. But three months into the relationship, it was getting a bit much. 

You hadn’t seen the blond boy all day. You two didn’t share any of the same classes on Fridays, which explains why you hadn’t seen him. You had a stressful day, starting off with astronomy. You did like astronomy, just not today. While passing down the halls you had kept an eye out to see if you could spot the pale boy anywhere, but to your disappointment, he was nowhere to be seen, ‘’Y/N? Are you listening?’’ A sudden voice said, making you snap out of your daydreaming. You shook your head in order to gain full consciousness, looking around. Right in front of you stood Snape, looking at you with a frown plastered on his face. You opened your mouth to say something but was quickly cut off. ‘’If not, I expect you to join me in detention tonight,’’ Snape continued before turning around. ‘’And no one wants to spend their Friday night in detention, do they Y/N?’’ He asked, turning back around and looking at you with a fixed gaze. You shook your head. ‘’No, of course not professor,’’ You said in defense. ‘’That’s what I thought.’’ He muttered, before going back to talking about the potion he was talking about.

You let out a sigh. Potions was the worst class you had, purely because Snape was your teacher. He had always had something against you, and he surely wasn’t afraid to show it. Your thoughts wandered off again as you looked out the big window that was right next to you, resting your head in your hands. 

Before you knew it, the class was dismissed. ‘’Don’t forget to do the homework, we will do the quiz next week so be well prepared!’’ Snape’s voice echoed through the room, the sound of the students talking and closing their books overpowering his voice. You quickly took your books and held them close to your chest before rushing out of the crowded room. At this point, you just wanted to get to your dorm as quickly as possible so you could breathe out after a long week. As you were pushing your way through the halls, looking down at your feet; you suddenly ran into someone. You dropped your books on the floor and you let out a quiet ‘oh’. ‘’I’m so sorry,’’ You said, bending down to pick up your books. ‘’Watch where you’re going,’’ The voice sounded oddly familiar. Your heart stopped as you realized who it was. You looked up from the floor, only to see the tall, pale boy standing right in front of you. He hadn’t noticed it was you yet. He was brushing off some dust from his shirt, a disgusted look plastered on his face. ‘’These idiots,’’ he mumbled to himself as you stood up. ‘’Draco,’’ You let out, a small smile forming on your lips.

His facial expression dropped as soon as he heard your voice. He looked up at you with wide eyes before looking around. ‘’Do you know her?’’ A confused voice said from behind him. His blue eyes met yours for a moment before he opened his mouth to speak. ‘’No, I do not know her.’’ The words hurt you more than they should’ve. You knew he didn’t mean it and that he was only saying it because you two were supposed to be a secret, but today was not the day. You could feel a lump forming in your throat as you pulled your books closer to your chest. ‘’Are you sure? I mean, you two look like you’re familiar with each other,’’ ‘’No, we do not know each other,’’ Draco repeated himself, cutting the boy behind him off by raising his voice. He hadn’t taken his eyes off you until now, turn his head to the side. ‘’Do you really think I would ever associate with someone like that?’’ The words felt like someone stabbed you in the heart. You stared at him, feeling tears welling up behind your eyelids. ‘’Look, she’s going to cry Malfoy! Poor girl,’’ One of the boys laughed, making Draco look back at you. Before he could say another word, you stormed past him; bumping into his shoulder as you ran away. You tried your best not to cry as you heard the group laugh behind you, trying to find your way through the halls to your dorm. You knew Draco could be mean, it was no secret. But he had never been mean to you. He just didn’t acknowledge you and sure, it sucked but it was way better than what just had happened. It felt too real, it felt like he actually didn’t know you and strongly disliked you. You rushed into your dorm and slammed the door close. You threw your books on your desk before letting the tears stream down your face. You had never cried over Malfoy before, this was the first time. You had already had a terrible day and just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. You laid down in your bed, pulling the sheets over your body. You should’ve known better. You should’ve known not to get with Malfoy in the first place, you knew he was bad to begin with. Your whole body was exhausted. Your week had really been the worst week in a long time and all you wanted was to just relax, yet your boyfriend made that very difficult for you. As you closed your eyes, you could feel yourself drifting off to sleep.

[watchinglikeafangirl]

I have to say, the more time I spend with Thai BLs, watch dumb fanvideos because I'm helpless and check Tumblr out about BL stars, the more and more I am disgusted by the BL industry.

The marketing strategies are decisions that are made without asking the actors who are the ones who have to act out everything the managers give them. And if they don't, an artificial Twitter shitstorm is being created. All of that because ... I don't know. Because of the promotion for the show. Because the actors should always be in the focus so we won't forget about them. Because they want the clicks and the money.

And I guess sometimes, you sit there, have just filmed your show, it was a big hit, you look on your phone saying that you have another appointment for filming an advertisement and you are completely done with the world only focusing on your pretty face but not giving your acting skills which you put a lot of effort into enough attention.

Some BL stars even have to get rid of something, sacrifice their identity, so the fans can have someone to cheer on. I think, these strategies and the fact that you are always spotted everywhere, that so many edits are posted about you, can affect one as a person really quickly. If you see it as a job and simply don't scroll through Twitter, it's probably the best you can do. Because when we take Mew as an example, we see someone who spends too much time on his phone and especially on social media, caring too much about a two hours-long shitstorm that will be forgotten the next day. This psychological pressure of doing your best and seemingly achieving nothing in return is very heavy and I think, those who are this affected by the media following them everywhere, should take a step back for some time. Because posting that you are not okay with the behavior of your fans is good and you're making a point there but it leads to more hate online and you will ask yourself why you even did that and why you even care. From what I noticed from time to time about Mew and his fandom is disgusting. I don't even want to try to sympathise with him because first, some of his fans are really toxic and second, he is destroying himself because of it. Or at least, I have the feeling that he is not okay with himself any more.

Also, the whole shipping of BL stars... I don't get it. They are good-looking on camera and their characters have chemistry but they are just actors. They are mostly different people and I don't like that people mix this up so much. I never understood the whole screaming and fading because you see someone famous and are dying to get a picture with them. What did you achieve? A picture on a wall with someone who nobody else knows. (Sorry, for getting overdramatic but this topic is very emotionally loaded for me after watching Lovely Writer which is exactly about these problems.) I just don't like all these fans shipping two people and writing a fanfiction about them because they are gaining money for giving the fans a touch of hands and there are no romantic feelings behind it. And all that fanservice is too much and sometimes not even good. If you are really friends that's fine. For example, I never shipped MaxTul because they are just close. Same with BKPP, I don't ship them. I just like their personalities, together and seperated. That's why I follow what they are up to. What is sad about it all is that the internet is so fast, as soon as your show is over, you are not mentioned anywhere any more. Especially when your relationship towards each other was just proffesional and then your ways part. For example, SaintZee. They have been in the media for some time and then Why R U was over and they as a ship were kinda over too. I don't think they had a real fallout, they are just not that close in private and were just professionals giving fanservice, although I'm not saying they didn't enjoyed the moments together on stage.

I like Lovely Writer a lot because it got me to thinking and gave me the idea of this post. That the Thai BL industry likely leads the actors to sacrifice their identity to sometimes become worse privately in order to be presentable for the fans. What I also like about it is the way this show is promoted. It's not that ... I don't have a word. Aggressive? Toxic? Pushed? The actors are protected. They don't face personal hate. They don't have private problems out in the open. You can see that they are just friends/get along because they are co-stars. They are not a ship because everyone can see that they are not a couple/don't look like one.

I'm gonna continue watching BLs but after watching TharnType I'm completely done with toxic fan behavior and it cost me a lot of energy that was waisted because I was mad at them and felt sorry for Mew.

[knullanon]

Lex Luthor with 33?

before writing- oof vibes are only angst but i do have an idea (also yes im using Kit if u remember him then u deserve a veterans award for remembering my useless bitches i create while writing)

after writing- using my dads quotes that he told me at a young age is really making me cry but its for the plot. also poor kit. f in the chat everybody also got too invested in this so yes theres a bonus

ilomilo - billie eilish

the gala was the longest one you had been to yet. you were almost glad, however. it gave you more time to talk to kit.

kit was the nicest boy you’ve ever met. he was the one to give you a view on the outside world. he was the one to help you make new friends in your situations. he was the one to treat you like an actual human being.

and here he was, sitting with you and laughing on your phones about some meme you’ve seen. he was the one who you liked: like, really liked. had a crush on kind of liked.

it felt stupid. it even felt childish. you didn’t want to have these feelings. it made you feel like a child. you didn’t want to have these feelings so you wouldn’t be hurt. even if you knew most of his words weren’t true, lex had always warned you about boys at a young age. how did he put it?

“the only thing they will think about when they look at you is how they can improve their status or how they can manipulate you. do you understand me?”

he always made you promise that no, you weren’t going to get a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, for that matter. he said that the only thing that you would end up with is a broken heart and a messed up sense of trust. he said you would just be running from one person to another trying to gain love only to be dropped after they got what was needed out of you.

and even if you knew that his words were just to keep you with him, that doesn’t mean they just went out of your head. after you hear things for a while, they start to become real. you didn’t want to have lex tell you something along the lines of “i told you so”

however, whenever you were with kit, it felt like those worries weren’t even there. even if there was a nagging feeling about trusting him, you ignored it because of what kit gave you: freedom. 

he wouldn’t only talk to you because you were _____ luthor, he wouldn’t only talk to you just because he wanted your money, or power, he wanted to talk to you because of you. he liked who you were as a person, not who you were as a child of a celebrity.

maybe that’s why you gained a crush on him. because he reminded you of before you met lex. maybe you just liked him as a person, like he did you.

“_____, did you see what happened last night?” kit had asked, still snickering from the news article he showed you. you laughed. 

“oh, wow, what party did you attend to this time?”

“none, at all actually: the entire city was on lockdown.”

“really?” you asked, turning to him. “which villain caused a mass murder this time, then?”

kit shrugged. “not really a mass murder, more of a... robbery.”

you rolled your eyes. “really? a city lockdown because of a small robbery?”

“a small robbery from one of lexcorp’s own warehouses.” 

that got your attention. “how much?”

“a small multi-million dollar heist-”

“oh, stop making fun of me, I didn’t know!”

“it was a small price to pay, apparently-”

“stop!” you playfully shoved him out of his seat, and he fell right on his ass. you gasped and when you saw that he wasn’t moving, you quickly got up and bent down to where he was sitting. “kit? goddamnit, kit-”

when he jumped up from the ground, his hands acting like they were going to grab you, you jumped back. stumbling, the back of you knee caught the seat you were sitting on, so instead of falling on your own ass, you fell into the seat.

as he laughed, you whispered, “kit, you ass!” he sat back into his chair, before saying (between laughs), “sorry, sorry. it was too much of a good opportunity to miss.” you huffed and went on the phone he had given you. you looked at the news, and sure enough, there was a robbery on one of the lexcorp warehouses, and yes, the things that were stolen were at least millions of dollars in profit.

“now that i’m looking at it, maybe that’s why my dad was all talking last night.”

“of course he would be, ______, there was millions of dollar worth of tech stolen-”

“oh, i know, kit, don’t be a bitch!”

it was silent for a little while, besides showing each other memes and laughing. it felt nice. it wasn’t awkward, in fact it was nice. just showing your friend funny photos that made you laugh was enough for you.

1:10. this was the latest you’ve ever been at a gala. it was supposed to last until 4, so you could understand why, but it still felt weird. it was like... going to school at night. you recognize the place, but it felt so weird.

“hey, _____.” you turned towards kit, who was now looking at a blank screen.

“yeah, what’s up?”

“you said that... you said that you’re never allowed to go anywhere, right? that you don’t even know where your real family is?”

you shifted uncomfortably. “well, yes, but why are you asking me this?”

his fingers turned white from the pressure on his phone. “well... you don’t seem happy whenever you’re with him, I guess. it feels like you don’t want to be there. 

you could say that again.

“and... and you’ve been my friend for months, now... I don’t want to see you hurt because of someone else’s actions... so... I was wondering if... you wanted to live with me?”

the last bit came out rushed, and yet, it still made you wonder. what if you could leave? what if you could live with your friend, your only friend, instead of your over protective father?

“I know its stupid, I shouldn’t have asked that. it’s fine.” he continued. 

“no, it’s... comforting.” you looked at him straight in the eyes. “I’m glad that you like me so much you would risk me being in your house. of course, I’m going to have to say no, but I still... I still appreciate that you would ask that.”

he gave you a small smile, and asked, “are you sure you’re going to be ok?”

you smiled at him. “maybe. I don’t know. if I don’t, then I could always take up your offer.”

you both sat in silence for a while, before his phone buzzed. looking at your phone, you saw it was at least 1:40. almost time to go. and you didn’t want mercy, or pray to god, lex to find you with him.

looking at kit, you asked, “you wanna head back?”

he smiled. “yeah. lets go back before we both fall on our asses.” 

~~~~~

walking down the large corridor felt strange. it was like something was going to happen soon. you didn’t know what, but something.

“so then, I asked him why he was being such an asshole, and he told me-”

“______.”

turning around, you saw mercy standing just a few meters away from you both. you quickly set some distance in between the two of you, to make sure that you were following the rules, but she didn’t seemed focused on you. instead, she was focused on kit.

she gave a small nod of acknowledgement to him. “kit is your name, right?”

he gave a shaky nod. “where were you last night?”

“excuse me-”

“where were you. last night.” every word seemed to be gritted out of her teeth.

“well, I was in my home. with my father. why?”

“really? at home with your father? and not at my warehouse, stealing my technology?”

you almost didn’t want lex to be here, but you also wanted to know why mercy hadn’t shot out kit’s brains yet.

“wh- excuse me?”

lex rolled his eyes. “I don’t need to hear excuses from you, boy, what I want to know is why you were stealing my tech, and why you used my daughter as your way to get this tech.”

wait, what?

“you’ve been using me for what?”

kit seemed to be panicking. did he- was he really using you for that?

“oh, you think I wouldn’t have found out? giving my daughter a phone so you could get into my systems and find out the codes for the doors? that you’ve been using my money for months without my knowledge? that you’ve been using my daughter for you own gain? for your own families gain?”

turning to him, you saw him try to make up some excuse about whatever he had done, but it was too late.

“freeze! put your hands in the air!”

you didn’t even see the police in the hallway, only mercy dragging you out towards the exit of the gala. 

when you turned back to kit, you felt like a child. did you really trust him? did you trust him this much for it to be that he was only using you? you didn’t want to think about it. the only thing you wanted was to go home.

________________

BONUS:

“did you really think you could take my daughter away from me?”

looking up from his seat, kit saw lex sitting across from him. currently, they were in a courthouse. waiting for his trial.

“... it’s not right to keep her inside like a pet.”

he knew he pissed off lex now, but he didn’t care. his life was ruined now. it shouldn’t matter.

lex got out of his chair and said, “you know, I was thinking of letting you off on a plea deal, but honestly, now, I’m thinking of giving you a worse fate than your father.”

a plea deal? kit froze. did he just throw out any chance to see you again?

“if you’re thinking you just threw out a chance to see my daughter again, you’re right, but lets be real here:”

lex put his hands on the table and got close to kits face, barely inches away.

“she will never look at you the same way after you go to prison for 58 years.”

and with that, lex left kit to rot in his own depression, happy to give the boy more pain than ever.

[laststandx3]

ok so, i just finished tfatws and it was really nice. characters had their arc, the cyberpunk city was pretty cool and the bucky x sam feels where there. so i’d say good BUt the message they were trying to give was a little vague. if i’m getting this right they were trying to make a story about how power corrupts (u know what got was supposed to be).

characters they did right:

- john walker: he starts as a good guy, but then frustrations and fear of not being enough push him to look for more power. we actually don’t see him taking the serum after lemar gets taken but i think that’s the moment he realizes he needs more strength to fight the flagsmasher.

- zemo : and this is very well written i think and even acknowledged by other character so is more obvious and i think the most meaningful scene is when in 1x04 he’s talking about who/what kind of people should exist because super soldier are too powerful and think themselves above others and sam bless him points out that his logic is exactly the same as someone who’s think of himself as above the others.

-sharon: idk if she just like the cyberpunk life better as a styling choice or if it’s about the power that comes with being almost a king. Sharon’s arc is hinted at not shown but i think it’s enough: she gets abandoned by everyone she helped, the same people she saw as friends. she bargains with sam cause she doesn’t trust him to care if things go south. I don’t think she’s corrupted already in the sense that as the audience we don’t know enough of her to see it. she’s could be on that path tho, depends how they’re going to write her in the future.

characters that needed better screentime:

-KARLI: (i called her curly everytime in this post. i didn0t know anybetter before tagging. apologies to all the Karli out there) we can imagine where she comes from. but actually NO because the show never bothered to show us what others people life looked like. we have vague lines about not having enough resources for everyone (i guess they’re saying thanos was right). Anyway lets imagine what she went trought: ok so she was raised in an orphanage, she grew up poor i suppose then there was the sanp and i think that’s when she had more opportunities. i mean with half of the population gone what the world is left with it’ll take good care. so the non-dusted people got founds, jobs, a commuinity?? but then endgame happened and the 3billion people are back and they too are left with nothing if the world moved on without them. so GRC is no giving founds to anyone anymore and just act as a evil military agency. idk if GRC is a direct critique to ICE and it’s definitely something i’m not qualified to talk about, but the 2 had in common “refugee camps” and “forced repatriation” so maybe is something. But i’m digressing. Now we get that the flagsmashers are the bad guys but we never actually see what they are fighting against. i mean i know for a fact that if i was protesting against the wwf i wouldn’t need violence. BUT if hundreds of people were forced into “refugees camps” maybe a little smash that fence would come in need. and IF ONLY they showed us WHY curly needed so much power we could have understood better her point. but she just makes buildings explode and we don’t see what is pushing her to crave more power and to become less sympathetic everyday.  Power should have corrupted her in a way that when she could chose between helping others or getting more strenght she would have picked the latter.  And honestly it would have been fine: maybe a bit unnecessary in this time and age but fine from a storytelling point. if they’re writing about how power corrupts then even if curly’s war was based on the right reasons she still could have fell on a darker path. but i think the writers didn’t want to fully betray her cause and they didn’t commit to give her a whole arc.  I think Sam protecting her and her pov is the writers way to validate her argument and maybe try to criticize some internal politics but in the end they didn’t and the plot was vague and without an impact.

-sam: sam here is the aragorn of the story but i still think he needed a more flashed out arc, at the beginning he doesn’t want the ring shield because he knows it means power, so he gives it away. then he goes on a mission where he meets the new a cap, and the new cap is totally bonkers he just killed a dude in the middle of the street so sam can’t be worse than that and so he’s the new cap now. i think if the govt never made a new cap, sam would have never even thought about inheriting the title. he seemed pretty ok in going to missions where he didn’t get a salary and that weren’t under the governtment. i mean seriously who did he work for?  Anyway Sam’s arc is about realizing he’s enough for the job. But the thing is: already in the first episode he’s following steve’s steps of being a wholesome guy. he just needed to believe in himself. and in this arc the whole power thingy doesn’t come up. so idk maybe i just didn’t see it or maybe it just wasn’t what his arc here is about.

-bucky: for bucky was a nice and funny week, he got a little europe trip, a roll in a flower field with not his partner, found out the emergency pull for his arm. crossed a couple of names from his guilt list. overall a positive week.  his arc is not about gaining power over others but over himself, they just already showed it in every movie he has been into since 2016 so it’s ok to not do it all again. would have loved to hear more of his opinions about stuff and not just about walker. 

[frumfrumfroo]

I’m new here and couldn’t tell from the tone of some asks (sorry) but did you like what they did with Ben in TRoKR ? I saw the discussions abt him lacking agency in it and I 100% agree but did you personality agree w/ the passive, “things only happen to me” vibe they gave him? And second question: can u give examples of how soule’s writing was telegrsmed in TFA? Thank u for taking the time xx

Like I’ve said before, it’s exactly the kind of backstory I would have written for him/always imagined. I had expected to find out he didn’t kill the other students/fought them in self defence/it was some kind of accident or emotional overload incident in TLJ. That was where everything was pointing.

Someone this insecure and conflicted about what he’s doing, someone who prays for help to resist his loving nature and cries when he sees his dad, who is so uncomfortable with himself he is covered head to toe not even his voice unmasked, who immediately latches on to the protagonist as a kindred spirit in loneliness and needs her to know he’s not a creature and wants to help her rather than hurt her- that’s not a person who had an eyes-open, all-in fall to the dark side full of decisive action and unhindered agency.

Leia saying ‘it was Snoke’ told us from the get go we’re in a situation where he was haunted and manipulated. His subservience and rote, childish repetition of ‘the Supreme Leader is wise’ when Han tells him Snoke doesn’t care about him. The constant, ongoing contradiction of his behaviour and motives tell us he has no conviction in the cause he’s supposedly supporting. His self-harm and naked suffering in the face of his own actions, his recklessness and inability to commit to selfishness and lack of ambition tell us those aren’t qualities which drove him here. He is highly emotionally driven, there’s no tangible goal and he doesn’t have a vision of the future. So why is he on the dark side?

It’s not that things only happen to him or that he’s passive, it’s that Ben has never pursued or been comfortable with what darkness really is and that has always been obvious. He tries very, very hard and fights tooth and claw to cling to something good in the comic until all of it is in ashes- he’s not passive, but he can’t win. No one can hold out forever against that kind of relentless onslaught. That he was absolutely a victim doesn’t mean he has no agency in his later choices. He’s not absolved of responsibility. But his reluctance and victimhood only makes sense, anything else would be incongruous with TFA.

There was never pursuit of power for power’s sake from him- there’s nothing he wants that the dark side can give him, he is there literally because he felt he had nowhere else to go. I said this before TLJ even came out. He felt he could not escape it, both because of the fatalism his family unintentionally instilled in him and because Snoke convinced him none of them loved him, that he is only useful or valued as a tool. Ben is a person who doesn’t believe he has any inherent value just for himself- just Ben, he believes that he can’t be forgiven for the sin of being born a disappointment, and that everything is his fault because he’s wrong and bad no matter what he does. None of his choices feel to him like real choices, all of his options appear to have been taken from him, and he feels compelled to plunge forward on the only remaining path. The comic provided an emotionally and logically cogent explanation for exactly why he would feel that way which is completely consistent with all the implications about his past and his characterisation from the films.

As I’ve pointed out before, there’s a reason he says ‘it’s too late’ to coming home not ‘I don’t want to’. There’s a reason he says ‘what I have to do’ and ‘he (I) was weak and foolish’- there’s a reason he needs Han’s help to go through with killing his father. It’s not about what he wants (he wants to go home with his dad- he thinks he can’t), he has never felt free to make his own choices or that freedom is possible for him.

Even at his darkest he never became cruel, he never enjoyed killing or hurting people, and he totally fails to suppress his instinct to be compassionate. He has a highly developed conscience and an overflowing core of empathy he can’t seal off. That’s why he’s so miserable as he pushes himself to do things he finds abhorrent- but he thinks he has to, there’s no escape, it’s the only way. In the sequence which establishes this character, even before any layers are stripped away or the investment we naturally have in him because of who he is is revealed, one of the first things we see him do is have compassion for F/nn. Those two characters are connected and a comparison is invited- this is visual storytelling showing you that they have something in common (it will be made clear later on that Ben saw himself in F/nn and that’s why he takes his actions so personally- cognitive dissonance).

F/nn was a good person trapped in the mask of the stormtrooper by circumstances beyond his control, but he is able to reject it and reclaim his identity. Ben is a good person hounded into the mask of Kylo Ren by his family’s failure to reconcile with Vader. The crushing weight of their expectations and their total lack of faith in him combined with their lies and Snoke’s manipulation convinces him there is ‘too much Vader in him’ and that Ben Solo isn’t and never will be good enough for anyone. That his love, compassion, and selflessness are all weaknesses which will only cause both him and the galaxy further suffering.

He is the most morally sensitive person in the new gen, he is the most outward-orientated and loving. His impulse is to be selfless and helpful, but that impulse has been relentlessly punished until he mistrusts it and thinks he must repress his wrong instincts and serve a ‘greater order’ guided by someone stronger than him. He has an acute sense of the impact of his actions and he considers it (even when he loses control of his emotions, he overwhelmingly targets things rather than people and his angry threats are empty).

In contrast, Anakin (who was committed on the dark side and successfully cut himself off from his empathy for many years) was all in on the pursuit of power even when he still had good intentions. Anakin also knew that power was the foundation of the dark side and he and Palpatine would always be at odds, that some day he would overthrow him and take his place. Ben only values power out of fear, and solely primal fear not more abstract, possessive fear like Anakin’s, he wants safety. He doesn’t go to Snoke thinking he’s ever going to take his place or gain his power- he wants Snoke to give him belonging and acceptance. He’s then convinced that the ends justify the means and doing things he knows are wrong and which cause him pain are necessary because his whole life and Snoke’s machinations have set him up to believe that. He is still trying to create safety and doing what he’s convinced must be done and will be done one way or another.

Ben is a beautiful compassionate person and always has been and that is why he’s in such constant, excruciating pain trying to shut himself off from love and vulnerability. He is following Snoke’s demands and trying to kill his past to stop the pain, to kill this vulnerability and need and weakness in himself. Connection was always what he wanted most and he is trying to cut off and cauterise all of the broken, abandoned bonds of love his family has left him with. And even here, he still wants Snoke’s acceptance, Snoke’s validation and esteem. He is still pouring himself out for an other, giving everything to please someone else, the last person left who tells him it’s possible he can achieve value.

He latched on to Rey instantly when he realised they were alike and did everything possible to lift her up and spare her what he went through. He only rejected Han and Rey’s offers to come with them because he thinks their love is conditional and that small, dirty, broken Ben Solo will never be able to meet the conditions. He thinks he is a tool or an obligation to them and it’s easy to understand why he thinks that. Han couldn’t wipe away a lifetime of baggage in a few words. Rey pretends it’s about the cause, she doesn’t tell him she loves him.

He thinks he must ‘become who he was meant to be’ and that his destiny is to become a new Vader. Everyone told him that. Whether with their fear or directly with words. When he finds out the truth about his grandfather, it’s a complete confirmation of what Snoke has told him and how his parents have treated him. Luke deciding he can’t be allowed to live because it’s that inevitable is the nail in the coffin in Ben believing there’s any place for him with his family. There is nowhere for him to exist as himself, he has to be someone else, someone less weak. And in running away from himself, his legacy, and his identity he puts himself under Snoke’s thumb and Snoke can finish inculcating his worldview.

Being able to love is freedom to Ben. He is an immensely loving person who feels like he is not worthy or allowed to love people, that his love has done nothing but make things worse for everyone. The tension and repression of trying not to need or care about people is what makes him so emotionally unstable. Kylo Ren is a mask and a shield and a prison built by Ben’s hurt and anxiety but equally built by Snoke out of his boyhood fancies to control him and shape him into an instrument of pain. Ben could never have conviction in it because it is so alien to his nature. He is so fundamentally unselfish that he never coveted like Anakin eventually did, his love never became possessive or jealous, he never sold his soul for a boon, the only way he could be selfish enough to murder is out of animal fear and pain. Wanting the hurting to stop. Rationalising it post-facto with the philosophy that the ends justify the means.

He pours himself out for Snoke because there is no one else left. All he wants is the safety and acceptance that he has literally never had anywhere. Anakin received unconditional love from his mother, Obi-wan, and Padmé and was warped from giving compassion into selfishness by his fear of loss and need for control. Covetousness became his tragic flaw and thus his fall culminates in trying to kill Padmé rather than lose her. Control became so important that others ceased to matter and love became possession. Anakin (despite also being a victim of manipulation and Jedi hubris) got to make real choices, he had real options, and thus he was a villain with conviction. Ben’s attempts to take control of his life are unfocussed and mostly involve abnegation, he pushes people away instead of trying to clutch them close; his response to loss is to isolate himself not seize power to recover the lost thing by force. Ben never received unconditional love until Han’s sacrifice on the bridge and the experience immediately shatters him from his already tenuous position in the dark. The only thing keeping him from coming home after that is sunk cost and the idea that he can never be forgiven. That it was too late.

He just needed someone to show him it wasn’t.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ppl be like "Magnus can't have flaws??! How dare you say nice things about him?!??" sometimes. All of Magnus' characteristics that we use to describe him are Canon but ppl act like we're making his personality up??? Saw someone tag a post abt ppl only making up personalities for guys nd not girls with his name as if he wasn't a main and didn't have his own story+background. It was made worse as they tagged the same post with damon Salvatore nd now I feel sick.

Book!magnus isn't flawed he's a straight up asshole. Ppl like to say he's better than show!magnus because of his dick ways and I'm just like: ????. Show!Magnus does have flaws idiots just lack the critical thinking to find them!

idk who damon salvatore is (i mean im vaguely aware hes from that vampire diaries thing but i know nothing beyond that) but otherwise i agree with u (also, ppl got a lot of nerve putting a coc in a list like that like being a moc means being treated even slightly the same way as a white man lmao. i mean yeah sure hes still got male privilege but are you serious? fandom treating a coc like he deserves nuance and well thought out headcanons and love and attention? wish i lived in that world)

what rlly drives me crazy about this whole "magnus is allowed to have flaws" thing is that like, yeah, he sure is! especially because poc are never allowed to be even the slightest bit human, much less flawed, without people getting up in arms about it. magnus' got plenty of flaws! he's stubborn, he's self sacrificial, he hides his feelings from others, he pushes ppl away when they get too close to his vulnerabilities, he has a tendency to simply Decide what other ppl want or need (like with alec and that whole moving to idris thing), he is impulsive, and a lot of other shit

and it's exactly those flaws that draw me to him, honestly! like i talk about how kind and caring he is all the time, and that is true, but i know that this is, at least partially, him feeling like he needs to be useful to be loved, and erasing himself/defining himself by what he can do for others, which is the same trait that leads him to act in all these ways i mentioned above. it's why i relate to him! it's why i love him! magnus isn't perfect, he is good, a good person, and there's a difference

which is the point i have been wanting to make when i started writing this answer because like. what drives me crazy the most is how those dark magnus stans or whatever love to say that they write him as an evil person who literally enjoys hurting others (like im sorry but have you watched the show?) because he's "allowed to have flaws". usually the same ppl who keep being like "i write my relationships realistically!" and when u check out their fics, it's like, literally abuse. like straight up physical violence and manipulation and gaslighting. and. that's not being realistic, girl! that's normalizing abuse

and it's one thing if this is a dark fic and its supposed to be bad or whatever and u just want to explore that, god knows i write about abuse all the damn time. its another to be like "actually if ppl arent like that its not realistic and ur writing them as perfect uwu beans and u have no nuance and are a bad writer". cuz honestly, if u think "having flaws" is being straight up abusive, and that it's "unrealistic" otherwise, then that tells me all i need to know about how u live ur relationships. if u think its literally impossible to exist in the real world without abusing others then i dont want to have shit to do with u, buddy

(and im not even saying that from just a logical standpoint but also from experience because ive had exes and ex friends who used this whole "actually humans are naturally selfish and dont care about others and enjoy hurting others it's human nature" rethoric [and the whole "realistic" thing is really just that except applied to fiction] and surprise! they were all abusive! either to me or other ppl i knew, usually both)

and it's not unrealistic to be kind and care about others! on the contrary, it's a very normal and natural human trait. so miss me with that "either ur character literally enjoys torturing other ppl or he's being written as perfect" shit. which of course gains particularly strong tones when ppl r writing coc, esp moc. like no one insists that if alec doesn't feel literal pleasure hurting others then that's unrealistic and ppl r making his personality up and treating him like he's perfect. i wonder why 🙄

like the bar for "being written realistically" for white ppl is having flaws, for poc it's being straight up cruel

miss me with that shit! magnus is kind, he is selfless, he is caring, he is willing to do anything to help others, he is loving beyond anything else even after all his trauma! and yes, he is still flawed and realistic, and no, he is not an innocent baby. if he were i wouldn't be into it because i don't want a character who's kind because he doesn't know better, i want a character who's kind because they choose to. nothing could possibly be more boring to me than a character who's nice and unaware that other ppl might be assholes, i want characters who know exactly how terrible other people can be, who have experienced it firsthand, but who are still kind because that's who they are and what they believe in. and that's magnus! he knows perfectly well how full of horrors the world is, how sometimes there is no right choice, how sometimes u need to make sacrifices, how some people are really selfish and cruel and he's even been used by those specifically because he's too kind of selfless. he just chooses to still be kind and selfless anyway

if you could never, that's not my problem, or his writing's lol

[dreamscapefics]

HEY OMG, i have a prompt,, normal witcher universe except people have animal traits/features so Jaskier is a catboy...black kitty ears and a fluffy tail while Geralt has wolf ears and a tail,,it mostly goes all okay, Geralt even starts accepting and making J a member of Pack, then J ends up going into Heat (magic? Was it just his time? Who knows) and since G has already made J pack, it makes sense that he would help fill his kitty up (go Absolutely insane with whatever kinks u wanna give em ❤️)

I finally managed to finish the last one-fourth of this fic. Thank you so much for sending this prompt, I had a lot of fun writing it, despite the writer’s block haha. I hope you, and everyone who sees this, like reading this.

Brief explanation: I made a few tweaks about the Alpha/Omega aspect. In this ‘verse, Omegas are intersex. When they present, their organs and anatomy shift accordingly. That said, they’re unable to get pregnant unless they go into Heat, and they only go into Heat when they meet a viable mate. Even after they meet their mate, it can still take a long time before a Heat is triggered. They can still have sex, of course, but they just can’t get pregnant when they’re not in heat.

Tags: animal features on human body (partial animal transformation? Idk the right term), Alpha/Omega, breeding, knotting, cunnilingus

~*~

It’s believed that wolves and cats don’t really get along. They can co-exist and interact, yes, but only when it’s absolutely necessary. For the most part they choose not to because it’s not in their nature as a species. Alpha wolves and cats have a tendency to be aggressive towards one another, whereas Betas and Omegas are more manageable.

But an Alpha wolf and Omega cat? That’s an association that’s rarely, if never, heard of.

So when Geralt, an Alpha wolf, met Jaskier, an Omega cat, in Posada all those years ago, he never expected for the feline bard to stick to him, much else befriended him. Jaskier, with his black kitty ears on top of his tousled chestnut hair, almost always has his black fluffy tail held high, alerting Geralt that the young man enjoys being in the wolf’s presence. And Geralt, internally exasperated at his own biological urges, is unable to stop his own fluffy white tail from wagging back and forth, a clear indication that he’s just as happy to have the bard around.

Of course, the beginning of their companionship (friendship?) was filled with arguments and disagreements. It still is to this day, but it was a lot worse then. They’re both territorial creatures, and Jaskier had a tendency to rub his scent all over Geralt’s things, which the wolf witcher didn’t appreciate at first. Then there was the issue of taking on contracts, which Geralt has gotten used to doing on his own. So having Jaskier tag along, prancing about the place while strumming his lute, his black tail poised high as he talks Geralt’s ear off about the monster they’re hunting and the inspiration Jaskier will gain from witnessing the impending fight. It took several months before Geralt got used to having another creature around, his enhanced senses extending to look after his feline friend for any sign of trouble.

Years passed and they slowly grew more comfortable around each other. Geralt still gets pissed and growls at Jaskier whenever he smells the bard’s scent on his things, in which Jaskier would answer with a twitch of his tail. The first time he wrapped his tail around Geralt, it happened a few years into their friendship. They passed by a village who was vitriolic towards Geralt’s kind, spitting vile comments about him. So when he felt a brush of Jaskier’s fluffy tail around his waist, Geralt blinked at the unfamiliar gesture but remained calm. It’s only when they left the village that he allowed his own tail to lightly brush against Jaskier’s rear, who turned to Geralt with a sunny smile, his kitty ears twitching happily.

From that moment, Geralt knew that Jaskier was going to be with him for the long haul. It’s then that he decided to officially welcome Jaskier to his Pack by inviting the feline to winter with him at Kaer Morhen that year.

Jaskier accepted, obviously, and while Geralt was excited, he was also nervous at the prospect of introducing Jaskier to his fellow wolf witchers, not knowing whether his brothers will get along with his feline friend. But his fears were unfounded when Eskel and Lambert reacted favorably to Jaskier and vice versa. Even Vesemir’s grey tail twitched in curiosity upon meeting Jaskier, and his small nod aimed at Geralt was one of approval which made the witcher nearly sag in relief, heedless of his white tail wagging.

Everything was great that winter. Jaskier sang for them almost every night and Geralt took him on a tour around the Keep, showing him his favorite places and voluntarily sharing stories to the eager bard about his time growing up there and what he and his brothers went through to become a witcher.

To say that Jaskier was moved to tears would be an understatement because that night, Jaskier crawled into Geralt’s bed. He curled his body around Geralt, his black fluffy tail wrapping almost possessively around him which made Geralt huff in amusement. But he also wrapped an arm around Jaskier, fingers running through his tousled hair and kitty ears while his own tail curled around the bard’s.

~

After that, Jaskier always went with Geralt to Kaer Morhen for the winter. They still go their separate ways for a few months or an entire season, but they make sure to always reunite by autumn, having agreed beforehand to meet at a city or town.

Even after ten years of traveling together, they still get a lot of stares. Some confused, some frightened, while others give them judgmental stares, eyes drifting from Geralt’s hulking form to Jaskier’s lithe body. Yes, it’s still unheard of for wolves and cats to be voluntarily traveling together, but an Alpha wolf and an Omega cat? Oh, the perverse shit Geralt has heard over the years from passersby.

“The bard is probably the monster’s sex slave.”

“How can a feline degrade themself to a fucking witcher?”

“Melitele, can you smell them? Their scents are basically entwined!”

“I bet the witcher’s knot is magical for the kitty bard to stay with him.”

Geralt doesn’t think the Jaskier ever heard those comments about them, because if he did then his friend would’ve likely gone feral on them - hissing barbed insults at them, body taut and tail puffed up.

Still, given their reputation as traveling companions, it’s a wonder they both managed to have sex at all. Geralt has the brothels while Jaskier has, well, anyone willing to bed a feline bard whose best friend is an Alpha wolf witcher. In the years they’ve known each other, Geralt has never seen Jaskier go into Heat; even the bard admitted that he hasn’t experienced it since he presented as an Omega.

“I guess I haven’t met my mate yet,” Jaskier says with a nonchalant shrug, but Geralt can smalle the sorrow and insecurity in the bard’s scent.

Geralt hums and brushes his tail against Jaskier, whose tail is slowly swishing back and forth. The feline looks at him with a sweet smile, and Geralt’s chest tightens at the sight.

He’s been having these peculiar feelings for Jaskier lately. Geralt can’t pinpoint when it began, but he knows he only became aware of it when they reunited a month ago in Oxenfurt. He’s not certain if it’s just a passing thing or something more permanent, but regardless Geralt doesn’t like to see one of his pack members sad. While a part of him is guilty for feeling happy that Jaskier hasn’t met his mate yet, a part of Geralt wishes he could be that person for Jaskier instead. He loves the bard, he’s Geralt’s best friend. He looks after him and cares for him and is there for him whenever Jaskier gets in trouble.

By the time they begin their trek up the Blue Mountains for Kaer Morhen, Geralt has pushed away all thoughts of him and Jaskier becoming more to the back of his mind. There’s no space for silly fantasies in the life of a witcher. The Path is all that matters, and Geralt can’t allow himself such distractions.

And for a while it worked. Barely, but it worked.

Until two years later when Jaskier went into heat in Kaer Morhen.

~

Geralt takes a deep breath before knocking on the door at the end of the hallway. He hears a muffled, “Come in”, before he opens it and quickly gets in, quietly shutting the door behind him.

“Hey, I brought you some broth Vesemir prepared,” Geralt announces as he makes his way to the form slumped in the middle of the bed. Like all the other beds in the keep, it’s huge and can accommodate at least three grown witchers, the mattress wrapped in soft, thick furs. “How are you feeling?”

“Like my insides are being scraped by a rusty spoon,” Jaskier croaks out, his smile coming out more as a grimace. His cat ears are turned sideways, chestnut hair disheveled as a few locks of hair cling to his sweaty forehead and neck. “I’m sorry for bothering you.”

Geralt perches on the side of the bed, breathing carefully through his mouth so as not to inhale more of Jaskier’s tantalizing scent. He’s always smelled a bit like catnip, lavender, and cantaloupe. But now that he’s in the first stage of his heat, Geralt can detect something spicy sweet, as well as something musky that only heats generate. Overall, Geralt is already addicted to Jaskier’s heat scent, his cock hardening further in his loose breeches.

“I told you, it’s fine,” Geralt says as he places the tray on Jaskier’s lap. “But like Vesemir said, it would help if you told us who triggered your heat. There’s still time to track them down the mountains.”

Jaskier flushes, ducking his head to spoon soup into his mouth. Geralt cocks his head when he smells a hint of nervousness and embarrassment in his friend’s scent.

“You’re nervous,” he points out. “And embarrassed.” Geralt narrows his eyes. “What are you not telling me?”

“N-nothing!” Jaskier shakes his head, but even Geralt doesn’t need his witcher senses to detect the lie. “It’s nothing, Geralt. It was probably that foxy blacksmith I slept with at the town before last.”

Geralt growls low and continues to look at him, unimpressed.

“No, it wasn’t,” he says in a gruff voice. “Stop lying to me, Jask. Who is it?”

“It’s… I.” Jaskier shakes his head and spoons another mouthful of soup. Beside him, his black, fluffy tail twitches. “You won’t believe me if I tell you.”

Knowing he won’t get an answer if he prods further, Geralt decides to take a different approach. He clears his throat, his turn to be nervous as he psyches himself for what he’s about to ask. Offer. If this is the only time… Geralt internally shakes his head and clears his throat once more. Behind him, his tail twitches nervously.

“Fine. If you don’t want to tell me who, then… I have a suggestion.” Geralt pauses, waiting until he has Jaskier’s full attention, the feline bard tilting his head slightly with a curious glint in his eye. Nodding, Geralt carries on. “If you are amenable, and since it’s your first heat after so long, I... hmm. You don’t have to do this alone.”

He can hear Jaskier’s heartbeat pick up, the bard gulping audibly as he stares wide-eyed at Geralt.

“What are you, um, are you suggesting...” he falters, cheeks darkening.

Geralt slowly nods his head. “I’m offering to, um, help you. With your heat. If that’s okay with you.”

Jaskier is silent for several seconds, and Geralt is starting to become more nervous when --

“Geralt, I…” Jaskier swallows. Geralt can smell the honeyed scent of excitement as Jaskier’s kitty ears perk up, turning wide blue cat-eyes on Geralt’s golden. “You silly witcher, you’re the reason why I’m in heat. It’s you who triggered it.” At Geralt’s stunned silence, Jaskier lets out a short, disbelieving laugh. “Say something, you brute.”

“So you…” Want to share your heat with me? You’re my mate?

Jaskier, his smile breathtaking and blue eyes blown wide with arousal, nods his head.

“Yes.”

I want you with me.

Yes, we’re mates.

Something in Geralt unfurls and snaps. Surging forward, he takes Jaskier’s sweaty face into his hands and kisses him, careful to not knock the tray of hot soup over the bard, his mate. Jaskier lets out a punched out groan as he returns Geralt’s kiss, nipping and sucking as their tongues battle for dominance, quickly turning it into something filthy and scorching.

The next few minutes are a blur. Somehow, in their frenzied state, Geralt managed to set aside the food tray on the cold stone floor as he helped Jaskier get out of his damp clothes. It doesn’t take long for Geralt to shuck off his own garments, his mate pushing down the thick furs to the end of the bed as he turns over on his belly. Jaskier is on his knees and forearms by the time Geralt steps out of his smallclothes, and his arousal spikes when he catches a glimpse of his wet, dripping cunt.

“Fuck,” Geralt grunts.

Jaskier arches his back, tail flicking in excitement and wiggling his ass at the witcher as he purrs, “That’s the plan, darling. Please, please come and fuck me. Want your knot so bad.”

“Fuck, Jask.”

Not needing to be told twice, Geralt gets back on the bed and positions himself behind his needy mate. Licking his lips, Geralt gently pushes the other man’s legs wider before taking his plump cheeks in both hands and spreading them apart. Geralt absentmindedly kisses the fluffy tail curling around his neck, but rather than stick his cock in, Geralt leans closer to Jaskier’s taint and inhales the tantalizing scent. His eyes nearly roll back into his head at the ripe smell of his mate, and without hesitation he buries his face in Jaskier’s cunt, tongue lapping at the sweet juices dripping from his hole.

Jaskier’s gasp of shock quickly turns into a breathless moan, his thighs quivering as Geralt takes the little nub between his lips and sucks.

“Ah, ah!” Jaskier gasps out, his head thrown back in pleasure. “Geralt, I - ah! Fuck!”

Geralt moans from where his tongue is buried inside Jaskier, chest rumbling as he breathes in the sweet, musky smell. He licks into Jaskier’s hot, wet channel before stiffening his tongue and fucking his mate. He uses the hands gripping the cheeks apart to push and pull his mate from his tongue, Jaskier thrusting back against Geralt’s face with expletives and moans that would give a whore a run for their money.

He spends several minutes worshipping Jaskier’s cunt, and he alternates between fucking his loose, wet hole and licking a stripe from his little nub to his tailbone. Jaskier’s fluffy tail twitches and Geralt can’t help but lay a sweet, small kiss at the base before diving back in to lick and taste more of his mate’s sweet juices. Jaskier cums with Geralt’s tongue plunging in and out of his hole, and the witcher laps it all up while Jaskier rides out his orgasm.

Giving one last kiss to the swollen nub, Geralt gets up on his knees once more and grips Jaskier’s hips as he finally guides his cock to his mate’s leaking entrance. He slowly sinks into the tight, wet heat, and loud groans of pleasure echo in the spacious room as Geralt bottoms out.

When he breathes out and inhales, Geralt is then made aware of a new smell. It’s a cloying scent, not overpowering but present, blending perfectly with the existing smells that Jaskier has already been producing. His heat has officially begun.

At the thought of his mate officially in heat, and it’s all thanks to him, Geralt growls low at the back of his throat as he pulls out before thrusting back in. Jaskier’s moans urge him to set a fast and brutal pace, and Geralt is unrelenting as he begins to ram his cock in his mate’s cunt. He has a tight grip on Jaskier’s hips, whose hands are gripping the sheets below as he lets out breathy ah, ah, ah’s as Geralt continues to fuck his brains out.

“So good, so fucking good,” Jaskier chants, eyes hazy with lust and pleasure as he attempts to meet Geralt’s thrusts. Their tails entwine lazily, black and snow white twisting around each other on Geralt’s flanks. “Fuck - ah! Geralt, fuck me harder.”

“Insatiable minx,” Geralt says roughly, but there’s a feral smile on his face. He adjusts his grip and position and does as he’s told. From the new angle he’s fucking Jaskier, and by the deep, throaty moans his mate is emitting, he knows he’s hitting that sweet spot.

Jaskier tuts. “More like an insatiable pussy for you, darling.”

Geralt snorts in amusement and elects not to say anything, except to fuck his insatiable bard harder until Jaskier’s hands are pressed against the headboard to avoid hitting his head. After some time, Geralt presses down against Jaskier’s back to bite and suck a ring of bruises across his shoulders and nape. He trails his hands up to pinch and tweak at Jaskier’s sensitive nipples, the bard howling and buckling against Geralt’s hard thrusts. Geralt lifts his head to nose at Jaskier’s hair and kitty ears, playfully nipping at one twitching ear before licking it.

Jaskier’s breath hitch at the gesture, and Geralt’s knot swells as he inwardly smirks before doing it again. He traces the shape of Jaskier’s feline ear with the tip of his tongue, and below him Jaskier’s breathing quickens, his moans rising an octave higher as Geralt nips it again before moving to the other ear and giving it the same treatment.

“G-Geralt, fuck,” Jaskier mewls. He removes one hand that’s pressed to the headboard to claw at Geralt, blunt nails digging into the meat of the witcher’s hip and ass.

“You like that, kitty?” Geralt purrs in his ear. “You like having a wolf cock in your kitty pussy?”

“Yes!”

“So fucking tight and wet for me, kitty. You feel so good, so perfect.”

“F-fuck, Geralt, please!”

“What is it you want, kitty?”

“Y-you! Your knot! Want my Alpha’s knot!” Jaskier sobs.

Geralt snarls. “And you’ll have my knot, Omega.”

Half a dozen thrusts later, Geralt brings two fingers to rub at Jaskier’s little nub. And with a final thrust, he pushes his knot inside Jaskier’s tight channel as his mate cums with a scream, body convulsing at the intensity of his second orgasm. Geralt can feel his knot swell, locking the two together as his cock pulses and shoots thick ropes of cum.

After, Geralt carefully arranges them so they’re lying on their sides, still connected as he shoots another load of cum inside Jaskier, his mate purring contentedly in his arms.

“That was incredible,” Jaskier slurs, pessing his sweaty back against the witcher’s front.

Geralt hums contentedly, eyes closed as he breathes in their mixed scents. He kisses the back of Jaskier’s neck and murmurs, “Rest, love.”

“Yeah,” Jaskier hums back. Then after a few seconds of blessed silence, “Then you’ll fuck me again, right? And knot me again?”

Geralt huffs out a laugh and tightens his grip around Jaskier, his hand resting possessively over his mate’s heart.

“I’ll knot you as many times as you want, kitty.”

Jaskier purrs. “Perfect. My Alpha.”

“My Omega,” Geralt rumbles, kissing one of Jaskier’s black kitty ears. “Sleep now, love.”

Jaskier hums and does just that, their tails curled almost protectively around each other as they both fall into a peaceful slumber.

~*~

A/N: If you think my writing’s a bit weird towards the end, yeah it’s been a while for me haha. Thanks for reading!

Also, I don’t think future filled out prompts will have this kind of length. It would depend, I guess, and never say never, right? But just wanted to give you guys a head’s up beforehand.

[nomimits7]

Cold Phoenix |11|

Title: Cold Phoenix

Pairing: FBI BTS x Gang/mafia member (named) reader

Genre: Mission au, FBI au, Gang au

Warnings: Angst, manipulation, riddles (sorry), betrayal

Summary: Being born as the Taboo child between the good and the bad of this world, Zebah grew up believing she was just another one of the stolen. But just like the moon that needs the sun to shine, seven FBI agents enter her life with the promise of freedom. Before long Zebah realizes she is just another pawn in the game of Mafia vs. FBI. Will Zebah ever learn to trust the seven men that betrayed her to get what they wanted? Will she ever believe the truth behind her own birth? Or will Zebah fall alongside her family that lied to her from the start?

A/N: This story is told in the third person. Try to guess who the narrator is! Also this is my first time writing in this style. Please do tell me what you think. Should I keep to it or not?? The bold words are flashbacks of past scenes. The normal words are what the narrator tells

Part 10

A/N: Man this was a bitch to try and post

But before I tell you about that, it might be a good idea to get to the part where they used her. Mmm, if I should guess it was about another week after she disappeared for a day, you could see the change. That was probably the scariest part of this whole game. She never spoke of where she was, but everyone could see that something happened that evening.

Zebah woke up in a dimly lit room. Strapped to a wooden chair in a lifeless room. Well, lifeless if you don’t count the figure looming in one of the dark corners of the room. Her binds were tight yet escapable if you knew what to do.

“Good your awake. Now We’ll let you run off to your little pathetic family once you give us what we want, that is if you cooperate with us. Otherwise, you might as well get comfortable.” Sunny said as he watched Zebah struggle in her binds. No one could escape those knots, he made them himself.

“Not before you tell me about S.U.N” Zebah spat as she glared at the red-haired man before her. Sunny simply chuckled as he made his way to the door, amused at the fact that Zebah thought she was in any position to make demands. Does she not realize what they could do to her? But they’ll give the little princess what she wants, for now anyways.

“Okay, but this is something all seven of us must discuss. She’s a hero in everyone’s eyes and we would kill to know who took her from us” Sunny said as the rest of them entered. None of them looked entirely thrilled at the idea of speaking about one of their own. As much as they hated exposing their weaknesses to the enemy, they knew they needed to for the sake of completing this mission.

“Right, where to start. Agent S.U.N. was one of the most respected agents the FBI ever recruited. She was smart, tactical, cunning, yet she had this gentleness to her. Everyone used her as their mentor. Including us, even if she died when we were mere toddlers” Moon began as he stared at something behind Zebah. Oh what they would give to be in the presence of someone as selfless as S.U.N.

“She was beautiful. She was the one that managed to capture one of the members of your so-called family. I believe it was the eldest son of the big boss of that time. I even hear he put up quite the fight. You see, agents S.U.N. knew exactly how to use her beauty to lure even the strongest of mafia members. That poor fool fell into her trap like a mouse drawn to cheese” Jay said looking at the ground with a slight smile.

“You wouldn’t believe it, but S.U.N even got that boy to betray his own family. She used him to gain info into the mafia. But S.U.N had two big flaws to her. She was human and she believed to easily” Destruct said, sadness evident in his voice.  

“She trusted him and he trusted her, but in the end, they betrayed each other. Unfortunately, not before they both fell in love with one another. You can imagine the type of heartbreak they had to endure once they realized that the other chose their own side instead of the opposite. It came as no surprise actually. They did work very closely together and most agents thought it was simply one of her own tactics” A.D. added

“But it wasn’t. And believe me, when I say that people could see the exact moment she found out her lover betrayed her, in the same manner, she betrayed him. She was heartbroken to the extend that she even pulled out of the mission. Most agents even said that she lost some of her shine” W.H. said

“But that shine came back a couple of months later. She found out that she was pregnant and was carrying his child. The chief of the FBI made her sign an agreement that she would not inform the father of the pregnancy. But let’s be real for a second. Pregnancy can only be hidden for so long” T.A said, sadness lacing his voice.

“When the father found out he was furious. But his mother was far worse. That woman hated the fact that her own son would fall for someone like S.U.N, someone from the other side of the law. Agent S.U.N had a target not only on her back but on her stomach as well. Her unborn daughter’s life was in danger and it was her own blood that was out to kill her” Sunny said.

“But then she disappeared in her last week of pregnancy. Many agents thought she wanted privacy for the birth of her child. A few days later her body was found, mutilated with the evidence of birth still fresh. Her baby was never found. Many suspect Phoenix for the murder, but no evidence was ever found against them” Moon concluded.

Zebah sat silently as her brain worked overtime trying to piece together the puzzle. Why does agent S.U.N’s death feel important to her? The boys took the silence as a sign that she was simply trying to process the info. None of them realized that Zebah’s arms were constantly moving.

“How many years ago did this happen?” Zebah asked looking up at them with teary eyes.

“Twenty-one years ago. Why does that matter?” Destruct asked.

Before any of them could move a muscle, Zebah was out of her seat and out the door once again. This time she didn’t make the mistake to run in the obvious direction. Just as the seven emerged outside the door she last ran through Zebah disappeared into the dark.

They did not manage to catch her like before. They also didn’t know why she left with tears streaming down her face. But they were more than determined to find out.

I don’t think Zebah could put the pieces together. She was a mess, yes, but that was simply because most of the time she would help care for the toddlers Phoenix stole. She even confided in me, she said something along the lines of that she couldn’t understand how a woman that’s a mother, can kill another mother. She was disgusted with the boss lady, and she had every right to hate her. Even if I knew the answer she looked for, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her what really happened on that day.

I believe Zebah contacted the boys the very next day, telling them that she could gather evidence to prove that Phoenix was responsible for S. U. N’s death. And just like that, the seven started their manipulation. They made sure to soften her up. They promised her a mafia free life. But what they failed to mention was the fact that ‘that’ life would most probably be behind bars.

Part 12