#but jokes aside i really am super proud of this one

[a-jasminator]

could you meet me in the middle?

[astonmartinii]

put it all on red (bull) | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem russell reader

her brother won the race? does she know? does she care?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, georgerussell63 and 204,300 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: VIVA LAS VEGAS

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user3: this is fucking hilarious

user4: her whole ass brother won the actual race and there's not a peep of him on the post

user5: i mean her boyfriend did win the championship...

yourusername: exactlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i mean my instagram is for pretty girls only

user6: do not erase george's beauty

yourusername: nothing to erase girlypop - FUGLY!

user7: the way the guys are in the media pen and can't see that y/n is coming for their necks in instagram comments

user8: i fear she's already started drinking...

user9: in the back of the sky broadcast she hands max a drink and i'm starting to suspect that it was not water or red bull

user10: LMAO HELMUT TOOK A SIP AND LIKE NEARLY FELL OVER

yourusername: i've never claimed to be good at mixing drinks

maxverstappen1: WHERE WAS THE TONIC ???

yourusername: i don't believe in tonic 💔

maxverstappen1: YOU GAVE ME STRAIGHT GIN?

yourusername: straight 🤣

maxverstappen1: Y/N THAT'S ATTEMPTED MURDER ON HELMUT ???

yourusername: free me i did nothing wrong !!!

user11: these people kill me

user12: sign of a healthy relationship is making gay allegations about each other

yourusername: ALLEGATIONS ???

yourusername: george is lucky that he was the first russell carmen met ...

georgerussell63: RIGHT, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH

georgerussell63: thank you for the congratulations but STOP flirting with MY girlfriend

yourusername: congratulations??? for what?

georgerussell63: WINNING THE RACE?

yourusername: boring!

georgerussell63: you are so lucky we're family because you are a few cards short of a deck

yourusername: CARDS? that reminds me ... time to gamble!

maxverstappen1

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 1,342,988 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: winning without the fastest car isn't for everyone

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user13: this caption has y/n russell written all over it

yukitsunoda0511: i sat here and watched them giggle to themselves for a good five minutes while posting this

user14: tell max to post more pictures like the second one

yukitsunoda0511: they are not safe for innocent eyes and they are not taken with a locked door :/

user15: why are you there ???

yukitsunoda0511: they're very generous when they're drunk !

user16: so real

yukitsunoda0511: it's also not just me :(

user17: just how many people are using the bar tab?

liamlawson30: me!

oscarpiastri: me!

charles_leclerc: me!

landonorris: me!

pierregasly: me!

alexalbon: me!

yourusername: broke bitches

carlossainz55: you do not have a job?

yourusername: gambling and being pretty is more of a job that what you will have next season 🤨

carlossainz55: has anyone ever told you you're a really mean drunk

yourusername: just george about a billion times, you get used to it (we just don't invite you out)

user18: she is just dragging anyone now

user19: hold on that is her boyfriend's work boyfriend's enemy

user20: girl is 90% of lestappen twitter's source and you think she's not gonna have a problem with sainz???

yourusername: you're so sexy i actually can't even function

maxverstappen1: gotta put the trophy in trophy husband somehow

yourusername: jokes aside i am super duper proud of you, this year has been insane and you've proven that you are the bestest eva

maxverstappen1: couldn't have done it without my fave cheerleader

yourusername: i'll wear the uniform and everything ....

schecoperez: STOP

georgerussell63: still no congratulations? i know you won the title or whatever but we're going to be brothers soon SHOW SOME RESPECT

yourusername: literally suck his dick

yourusername: wait no

yourusername: suck my dick

yourusername: WAIT NO

yourusername: choke ❤️

georgerussell63: i have no words at this point

maxverstappen1: so romantic hehehehe

yourusername

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tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: put it all on on red (bull)

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user22: ma'am why is there a cat?

user23: i think we already know the answer

user24: oh i know the answer i just wanna know the batshit explanation

georgerussell63: exsqueeze me ???

yourusername: don't speak like that about your nephew ??

georgerussell63: tell me you're not keeping it??

maxverstappen1: IT? HE JUST LEAPFROGGED YOU IN OUR WILL

georgerussell63: 1. you have a joint will ??? 2. why am i on it ??? 3. what is a cat doing with a monaco penthouse ???

maxverstappen1: i thought you could use the money ? i know toto ain't paying you what he promised me

yourusername: george your weird sugar daddy is more broke than you think sorry xx

georgerussell63: once again, what is stopping me taking the monaco house from a literal cat ?

yourusername: caesar will be very aware of his rights string bean - just because you talk in an uppity accent doesn't mean you actually know anything

georgerussell63: i cannot tell who corrupted who but i am sick of being your victim :(

user25: yes as fun as watching them dog george is i do want to know caesar's origin story

user26: i have a very bad feeling i know where he got his name

alexalbon: HE'S NOT NAMED AFTER THE CASINO IS HE?

yourusername: ding ding ding we have a winner, always knew you were the smarter half of galex

maxverstappen1: your gambling is getting out of hand

yourusername: did i or did i not win us a cat ?

maxverstappen1: AND £250,000 ???

yourusername: didn't want to promote gambling too much

yourusername: KIDS DO NOT GAMBLE IT IS DUMB

yourusername: look at me i literally have a child now ???

user27: we have lost the original plot of the movie

user28: you must be new, we stopped trying to make sense of these two years ago

lewishamilton: i can assure you it does not get any easier when you know them personally

yourusername: we aim to be sexy and mysterious

lewishamilton: that's strange because you guys dance like little boys and overshare at any given opportunity

maxverstappen1: guilty !

georgerussell63

liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 873,409 others

tagged: lewishamilton, yourusername & maxverstappen1

georgerussell63: i won the las vegas grand prix and all i got was this lousy cat

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user29: i am sensing a y/n and max meltdown incoming

user30: maybe they're too hungover to argue?

yourusername: NEVER

maxverstappen1: LOUSY CAT? FIRST OF ALL HE'S NOT YOURS SO KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND ALSO I WILL KILL YOU WITH A GUN

georgerussell63: excuse me?

yourusername: do NOT threaten my boyfriend !!!!!!!!

georgerussell63: do you have selective sight or something?

yourusername: no i just like him more than i like you

georgerussell63: you only met him because of me?

maxverstappen1: i have faith we would've found each other regardless we have a SOUL TIE

yourusername: EXACTLY

georgerussell63: i give up.

yourusername: this is exactly why you don't have a championship ... no drive (pun intended)

georgerussell63: NOW THAT'S IT

maxverstappen1: are you threatening my girlfriend?

georgerussell63: OMG LEAVE ME ALONE

user31: their commitment to never letting george have a day of peace is really quite charming

user32: they're going to give him grey hairs before he even turns 27

alexalbon: i gotta say georgie, i'm not with you on this one - caesar is THE dude

georgerussell63: are all my eggs falling out of the basket at once?

maxverstappen1: that's called karma for calling caesar 'it' and a lousy cat

georgerussell63: i can't lie i am missing your honeymoon phase you guys were a lot nicer

yourusername: we never left the honeymoon phase we just like annoying all of you

maxverstappen1: makes you people leave us alone :3

landonorris: you don't have to be mean to do that

yourusername: YOU JUST GOT OFF OF THIN ICE NORRIS WATCH YOUR STEP

user33: they can make excuses all these want but they just like annoying everyone else

user34: i mean based on their vegas shenanigans i think they would be super fun to be around

yourusername: oscar literally came to stay while he 'looked for a flat' in monaco and hasn't left... it's been three months. face it we're a HOOT

oscarpiastri: they are fun! the secret is to not be annoying sorry george!

maxverstappen1: they grow up so fast :')

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 984,036 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: took a gamble when i went for the lanky posh dude's sister and i can now say it was definitely worth it

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user37: bro says snug as a bug in a rug once and now he's labelled as posh HE'S FROM NORFOLK

user38: it's also the way that y/n never gets the posh allegations

georgerussell63: it's because she's scruffy as fuck x

maxverstappen1: literally outside your house with a knife, keep talking

georgerussell63: i'm a grown man, max, you don't scare me

maxverstappen1: so i'm free to do a little gardening while you hide inside?

georgerussell63: you wouldn't...

yourusername: GO FOR THE PEONIES MAX

georgerussell63: NOT THE PEONIES I BEG HAVE MERCY

user39: so i'm supposed to read all of this shit and take them seriously when they get in the car

user40: it's part of the charm i think

user41: it's all fun and games until you remember they are full grown adults who can vote who are arguing over flowers

yourusername: i'd go through the strenuous task of growing up with george thousands more times just to be with you

maxverstappen1: i've been in love with you since i was 14, there has never been anyone else for me and there will never be anyone else for me

yourusername: ugh why didn't we just get married in vegas ?

maxverstappen1: because even though i did just harm his flowers, i do want to marry you in front of our families

yourusername: i guess you're right

georgerussell63: you know what? based on how you usually talk to me... i'm touched

yourusername: if i'm feeling generous i'll even let you do the seating chart

georgerussell63: I LOVE YOU BEST SISTER EVER

user42: only a declaration of love between max and y/n could end with george proclaiming his love for charts

user43: how does one procure an invite to this wedding ...

yourusername: be cunty

yourusername: @zakbrownceo YOU'RE BARRED

yourusername

liked by landonorris, alexalbon and 409,300 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i'm the sibling who can't drive and yet i'm the one with four championship trophies in their house... george, step your pussy up x

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user44: omg queen who can't drive, she's such representation

yourusername: george says i'm so mean all the time but really i'm generous, i clearly gave him all the driving genes

user45: have you even tried driving?

yourusername: i went on max's sim once and got motion sickness and i'm also with the best driver in the world and siblings with an okay one - i'm surviving

alexalbon: he's already texted me about your language on this post

yourusername: just because he's a boomer in a string bean's body does not mean i must censor myself - he should know what stepping his pussy up means by now

georgerussell63: i will not be stepping on any pussy, i respect both felines and women

maxverstappen1: you called caesar 'it' so PLEASE

georgerussell63: i respect women?

maxverstappen1: you called y/n scruffy?

georgerussell63: that's y/n it doesn't count

maxverstappen1: that's not very feminist of you george. i am disappointed

yourusername: i agree, i really think the GDPA should reconsider the type of person they're letting run it

georgerussell63: huh?

yourusername: not once have i been invited to a grid meal ....

georgerussell63: well you're not on the grid that's why

yourusername: FEMALE EXCLUSION

maxverstappen1: you know we have attachment issues, you're so heartless george

georgerussell63: what is going on ???

yourusername: you CLEARLY don't care about me

maxverstappen1: and you CLEARLY don't care about the wellbeing of the grid

georgerussell63: I'M SORRY???

user46: george is unbelievably easy to rattle

user47: it must be so fun

yourusername: oh believe me, we have way too much fun

maxverstappen1: we once convinced him that it was a social faux pas to shake hands in japan lol

georgerussell63: IS THAT WHY MERCEDES WERE TOLD THAT EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS REALLY RUDE ???

yourusername: LMAOOOOOOOO

maxverstappen1: so so so easy bro

user48: i guess a couple that plays mind tricks together, stay together?

yourusername: 4eva

maxverstappen1: til death do us part

yourusername: quite literally you're not leaving me alone with GEORGE

georgerussell63: you know what: DIE

yourusername: GASP

maxverstappen1: @fia get his ass

fin.

note: HAPPY MAX VERSTAPPEN CHAMPIONSHIP DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE. IE. ME LOL

[mylovesstuffs]

OT13 and their Maladaptive (unhealthy) coping mechanism

A/N: Just a little reminder that no one’s perfect, and even though these coping mechanisms might not always be the healthiest, they’re pretty relatable. After all, who doesn’t try to avoid stress in their own ways? Sometimes, it's just about making it through the day. We’ve all been there!

Content: Mental health, stress, and maladaptive coping mechanisms. These topics, while presented in a lighthearted way, may be triggering for some who are sensitive to issues around stress, avoidance, and emotional management. Please proceed with caution if these topics are sensitive or triggering for you or just skip for your own sake.

This is my personal opinion and perspective. It may not accurately reflect their real-life personalities or behaviors.

Seungcheol: As the leader, he carries a lot on his shoulders. But when it gets too much, he might lean into the I’m fine routine, pretending everything’s okay even when he’s on the verge of a breakdown. He’s too proud to ask for help sometimes, and you just know he’s the type to act like he's ‘just a little tired’ when really, he’s about to crash. We’ve all seen it—his inner monologue is probably like, I got this. I got this. Who am I kidding, help!

Jeonghan: Ah, Jeonghan, the guy who might joke (he's not joking) about needing a nap, but when it gets overwhelming, he tends to bury himself in distractions. Whether it's scrolling through his phone, watching too many YouTube videos, or just zoning out in a random corner, he’ll avoid confronting the stress head-on.

Joshua: Joshua is the type to bottle everything up. His coping mechanism? Probably something along the lines of ‘I’ll just keep everything inside and hope it resolves itself.’ He might try to keep things light, cracking a circus here and there, but deep down, he’s not giving himself the time to really process things. "Oh, no, I’m totally fine," he says, and then he gets lost in his guitar for hours, hoping the music will just make everything magically better.

Jun: Jun’s a reserved one, and when things get tough, he might just shut everyone out. His coping mechanism? Silent treatment...to himself. He’ll isolate himself, retreating to his space, pretending he doesn’t need anyone.

Hoshi: Now, Hoshi might get super energetic when stressed, channeling all his anxiety into hyperactivity. He tries to push through it by overworking himself—distracting himself with activity after activity. But sometimes, he forgets to slow down, and suddenly, he’s exhausted in the worst way possible.

Wonwoo: Wonwoo's a classic introvert. When stress hits, he might go into ‘silent mode’ and avoid everyone, including his own feelings and members. He might retreat into games or other activities to distract himself. But sometimes, it’s just him avoiding talking about what’s bothering him. A little more communication wouldn’t hurt, but at least, he’s got his way of handling things—even if it’s hiding from them for a while. “I’m just...lost in this game. Nothing to see here!”

Woozi: Woozi, on the other hand, might bury himself in work—because, well, if he keeps busy enough, he won’t have to face the stress. Music, deadlines, and work are his escape route. But if he’s not careful, he’ll get caught up in his own perfectionism and burn out. He can just tweak this one last thing… and then maybe he can rest. Or not—

Dokyeom: His way of coping? He hides behind humor and positivity. It’s his shield, but sometimes, he can’t tell when it’s just a little too much. He might overdo it with the jokes, laughing off his stress instead of dealing with it. He probably has this coping mechanism "toxic positivity." It is the idea of pushing aside negative emotions or pretending to be happy all the time, even when things aren't going well, in the hope that it will eventually lead to genuine happiness. But sometimes, he just needs to let himself feel the feels :(

Mingyu: Mingyu’s the kind of guy who might try to keep everything under control by staying busy—way too busy. He’ll go into “let’s clean the whole house” mode, or maybe obsess over an odd project that distracts him from his emotions. Sure, it gives him a sense of accomplishment, but he’s not really processing anything. Just keep moving, Mingyu. The stress will go away…somehow

Minghao: He's a bit of a perfectionist, so when stress hits, he might withdraw into his art or meditation. But sometimes, he gets stuck in an endless loop of trying to make everything perfect instead of just letting things be. He might start overthinking and get lost in his work, not realizing he’s just avoiding the feelings that need to be addressed.

Seungkwan: Seungkwan’s a talker, no doubt about it. But when things get tough, he might talk himself in circles, using humor to deflect real emotions. He doesn’t always know when to stop joking around, and sometimes that keeps him from really expressing how he feels.

Vernon: Vernon might cope by immersing himself in music, movies, or media in general, sometimes as a form of escapism. He could get a little lost in these distractions, avoiding real-life stress. It’s his way of tuning out, but we all know that ignoring the issue doesn’t exactly make it disappear.

Dino: He tends to overwork himself. Instead of leaning too much on others, he might dive into practice or focus on perfecting his dance moves, hoping that working hard will help him manage the pressure. He’s also a bit of a perfectionist, so sometimes, he pushes himself too far, believing that if he can get everything perfect, the stress will go away. If I just practice one more time, maybe I’ll feel better... right? he'll say to himself every time.

[cconfusedkat]

(shaking hands, functioning on three iced coffees, not beta read we just die) (LIL BRO TREATING THIS LIKE AO3Anyways yeah i did not read anything i typed here a second time so my wording might Suck Major Kuss)

Hey chat! sorry my holiday depression unfortunately kicked in, i had a ,, relatively decent Eid (cuz i dont celebrate christmas) ...? so i hope everyone had a relatively better holiday than i did… 💦

My friends often tell me i look like my art and i kinda see it. Hooray! Meeting the artist! Except i took matters into my own hands of making my own collage because I Do Not Have Enough Storage Space For Any Other Editing App

Additional shitpost ❤️ the art I've been most proud of are not actually in here, really! I'm mainly proud of the fanart i made for the few smiling critters AU's aaaall the way back feb-march but. I guess the stuff i liked the most i did this year was probably for the one who wilts? Im trying to think of stuff earlier than that. I noticed i definitely had an improvement in art, and i learned i do have a preference of drawing certain ways now too lmao- the fun of art! I hope to improve more in 2025 :-)

Herm,, all jokes aside, im glad people like my art...?? I am not a very Secure artist myself (already taking me five minutes to type that out and consider myself as an artist) so im SHOCKED when people Actually like my things. My doodles. The sometimes rare occasion of real art i put out there. Like! Wow! Thats crazy

Id have to say the same for youtube- im currently at 456 subscribers 🥺❤️ that is huge to me,, i wouldnt have expected me posting for the first time in years on youtube would result to me getting this many subscribers? ? .???

Im very, VERY thankful for the people ive met this year through fandom and generally. Unfortunately—for the past few months—Ive hit a really low stump in my mental health that limits me from talking to people without getting super drained, even on social media i kinda struggle with being active again. I am thankful for the people that continue to stick around and know im the way that i am,, one day ill be mentally stronger and everyone is gonna see my growth as soon as i can ,, Actually leave my own home and hopefully start a new. I didnt really consider that until one of my friends shared its experiences with me and i GENUINELY realized i can run away and get better one day,, there is a light at the end of the tunnel,, there IS,, but not now. Not today. Not in a few months. Itll take me years to heal but 2025 and ongoing years as i get more freedom to do so,,

UHHHH UHHH. ASIDE FROM CHEESY RANTING OF HAVING HOPES FOR THE FUTURE, YAPYAPYAP- i got a drawing tablet (again another thing my friend inspired me for- technically two major things in a row it inspired me for- hope in the future and drawing BWAHAHA-) and uhhh. HmMMOOHHH YEAH I REUNITED MY MEOWMEOWS! HOORA🎊🎊🎊🎊

my 2025 goals are not just improvement in art,, but in hopes of getting a full time job (since my last full time UMM. did NOT work out well! How am i gonna learn to pay my taxes on my own dawg,) and trying to get a place of my own since i missed out on that two years ago (or one? One year ago? I DUNNO..!!!!) , therapy and trying to heal better compared to my terrible stumps of 2022-2024,, i dunno what else but. Maybe working on my social skills at some point 🗿🗿 a far fetched goal is moving out of state completely and also going on testosterone but that is farrrr from now </33

Thank you lot for following and keeping up with my goofiness i gen did not think an animanga nerd with a passion of indie and mascot horror games could reach 510 followers within one year HELPPP thats crazy

On less serious goals though i hope on watching more animes than reading manga in 2025 BWAHAHAGAHSAJD i read manga more and anime is Extremely Rare for me to watch but both jjk and Beastars have all ive been watching as of recent lol- trust i will be such a geek (girl Please that is NAWT something to look forward to) (YES IT IS. HAVE YOU NO WHIMSY?)

[your-queer-dad]

dad! I talked to the princapal and got the right name on some papers and also he said he’d talk to all the staff

later that day a different teacher came up to me and pulled me asided and asked me if she was the one who misgendered me she was really worried and said if she did she’s sorry and she asked if I was ok and stuff she’s alright sometimes I wish it was all the time

anyway back to the shitty teacher she’s just been avoiding me I think I haven’t heard her talk about me or to me the entire while

the principal said that none of this was on purpose but like bro she’s been screaming and misgendering and she’ll be super ableist and visibly homophobic not letting boys sit near eachother and saying how like boys can’t have stuffed animals and we’re to old for itshit whenever we’d bring toys to school but she lets the girls do it! and she’ll go on rants about how boys shouldn’t to this or be this etc and how girls can’t act like this blah blah blah and it’s like hell yeah she meant it the fuck

anyway she’s either lying to him or he’s covering for her either way this is annoying he kept trying to like idk smooth it over and it’s like dude I don’t need to be best friends with her just tell her to stop being a massive pile of shit

also I got my blood drawn and they kept deadnaming me and saying how oh well when you get your name legally changed then we can call you whatever you want. And it’s like sure but you could also call me my name right now motherfucker. My mom made a comment like only a couple more months because I’ll be turning eighteen soon and I called her out cause she does this thing where she pretends to be a good mom and a ally in public but actually she’s been keeping me from transitioning and she sent me terf books and called me a demon spawn and threatens me like all the time etc and then in the car after the appointment in the car I told her she’s making excuses for the nurses and they didn’t have to deadname me and then she got mad like really fucking mad and she went all quiet and started driving crazy like dangerous crazy she does that a lot and it’s a miracle she hasn’t gotten me in a car crash I’m at home now I know she’s not safe not just from the car thing just in general she’s violent and threatens a lot and she does this thing where when she gets mad she’ll grab the back of my neck real hard and drag me around like a damn rubber chicken I started walking behind her to avoid it so it hasn’t happened in a while but idk man everything really pisses me off this is all bullshit and I’m so sick of everyone just excusing it all you feel me also some girl at school keeps coming up behind me and squeezing my neck and it keeps fucking with me cause of what my mom does that girl keeps hitting on me to she won’t leave me alone and this always fucking happens dude she’s like threatening and making jokes about sexually assaulting me and I’m like bro??? The fuck?? My parents don’t care I’ll tell the principal if it gets worse but with the way he is he’ll probably be like oh she didn’t mean it she’s so young she was just joking try to be friends she’s just a little girl blah blah blah I hate how adults justify all this shit I just want someone to call it out or get mad on my behalf for once why won’t anybody ever defend me I’ve been dealing with this for eighteen years the same shit over and over from everyone I’m just a kid to and no one ever stepped in

Hey kiddo, I am so sorry you have all of that shit to deal with, that's awful. I'm really proud of you for telling the principal and that teacher came to check that they were being okay. How your mom treats you is awful and you don't deserve any of that. I am so sorry she has been doing that. You have so much awful things happening to you and it isn't fair, not at all.

- dad x

[softseaside]

It’s finally time for my art summary and I decided to throw my art vs artist 2024 in here as well! I also made two alternative versions for the art summary and art vs artist thing because…well…I think these summarize my 2024 perfectly sdkjskdj

I’m always really thrilled to make these art summaries at the end of the year and reflect on how the year went down. One of my main goals for 2024 was to finally launch the first chapter of my webcomic. Unfortunately, I got some health problems in the beginning of the year and after that, I started to dm my very first D&D campaign and…well…accidentally got obsessed with Blauauge, one of the OCs of the campaign that I completely lost focus on all my art goals skdjskdjsd

Homeboy ruined my 2024, made me forgot to work on my comic and made me start drawing sm*t ksjdskdjsd Jokes aside, DMing is really fun and made me try a lot of new things and expand my creativity. Artwise, 2024 was really, really fun for me, I forgot how much fun it is to be completely immersed in something and I just had so many ideas and thoughts and feelings and love about this blue tiefling.

While I’ve struggled a lot in the beginning (and still do) because I felt super cringe and ashamed to be so obsessed with a character no one knows/cares about, I slowly started to understand that I’ve always been doing art for myself and only for myself and that’s what I like most about art. It’s okay that not everyone is as hyped as me about my OC and the most important thing is that I have fun. Nontheless, I’m super thankful that people actually started to be interested in him so thanks everyone for sticking up with my unhinged OC brainrot 🫶💙 Let’s see how long it will stay since my mini campaign will end soon and we’ll continue our main D&D campaign again. So maybe 2025 we will finally be free of the blue himbo tiefling lmao.

Blauauge brainrot aside, this year I was able to gather a lot of experiences at tabling at artist alleys (8 in total!!!). I had so much fun, I learned so, so much and I met some really cool people and even made some friends. It was truly an amazing experience and I feel like I grew alot. That being said, I also realized that being a convention artist is EXTREMELY time-consuming and takes a lot of energy. Combined with my full-time job and dming, I barely had time for my other creative projects like my comic or my youtube channel and I feel so exhausted.

Looking at my goals from last year, I achieved one of them (attending more artist alleys) but for the other goals, I completely neglected youtube and I don’t feel ready for an art shop at all RIP + I really wanted be better at the fundamentals and I guess I got a bit better at anatomy because of Blauauge (and Blauauge sm*t) so I guess that kinda fits LMAO?? I also start putting more effort into backgrounds for my comic and I’m thinking more about composition while drawing but it’s still a long way for me and I really have to actively study because I feel like I’m at a step in my art journey again where I feel kinda stuck. However, something that really surprised me is that put a lot of my attention on my coloring and I find it way more enjoyable than last year. Also, just a side note, but I’m halfway done with my internship/apprentinceship and I am kinda proud of how much I’vee improved at graphic design and my branding, hehe.

Next year, I’ll TRY (lmao) to attend less conventions. I’m also on a good track working on my comic again SO THIS YEAR, I PROMISE TO GET THAT FIRST CHAPTER DONE!! and I’ll also try to make another youtube video again and maybe even start livestreaming? (no promises lol)

Thanks for liking my art and wishing you all lots of energy for 2025! 💙✨

[baddybaddyadardaddy]

Submission - "A Very Urukly Halloween" (Fanfiction)

Hi, and thank you once again for doing this fandom promotion thing :D Doing the Lord(-Father)'s work! I would like to submit my recently posted fanfiction, which is a modern AU set around halloween, with Adar being the dad of a bunch of trick-or-treating uruk kids who also has his own neighborhood adventures in the story.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60181756?view_full_work=true

Now onto your questions:

What was the inspiration for this piece?

Ironically, my own halloween poll in the Baddydaddy Brigade community XD and the awesome replies and comments a lot of other fans left on it. The idea(s) just wouldn't leave my head, plus I think we all deserve some wholesome fluff after the end of the 2nd season.

What's your favorite passage or part of the work?

Oof, it is so hard to choose. I think the first one was the 2nd chapter, in which Adar saves a bunch of elven kids from local teenage bully Damrod. It was just so much fun to write. My absolute favorite passage, however, is at the end of chapter 5, when Adar, Elrond and a surprise character commit some criminal acts together on halloween night. It was a bit of a carthasis honestly and just very funny.

What's one thing you think you absolutely nailed?

Giving each character - I included a lot from the series - their own distinct voice and personality, esp Adar. Also translating some situations and events into a modern AU while making them more wholesome and adding a touch of humor to it all.

Are there any little fun "easter eggs" in your piece??

Hehe, yes, both in a literal and a metaphorical sense. :P I think readers can recognize a couple of events/situations from the series in there, as well as in-fandom jokes like 'Adar flirts with everyone'.

Give us an inside look at what the process was like for you: What kind of pre-planning did you do, how long did it take, what was something you struggled with, etc?

I think that part is literally the most hilarious thing about this whole fanfic - I did no planning at all. I wrote a joke poll, got far too inspired, and wrote 7.5k words down in a single day, then edited it all - to get it out before/on halloween. I thought of about 5 scenes I wanted to write down before I started, but aside from that I was just making it up as I went.

Honestly I have never done anything like this before, which goes to show just how special both Adar and this little community is, which I partially credit with this even happening.

The main struggle I am facing atm is that I am *invested* in this AU now and still have ideas, but no clue if I can motivate (read: bully) myself into writing more in it. We'll see how it goes. But aside from that I am really proud of this fic and what it has taught me, and I am super thankful about the warm reception in the fandom so far. Thank you everyone! <3

[goldenlyre]

☀️ Apollo ☀️

i can’t believe i have been devoted to Apollo all these years and i only pick up playing music now.

thanks for playing the long con on this one Apollo.

jokes aside, i have always felt listening to music as being super important to me and my practice but i always really struggled with actually playing music for a number of reasons, i am so proud and grateful i have made this progress!

i truly believe it is helping heal the parts of me that caused me to struggle so much in the past

☀️Praise Lord Apollo ☀️

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 15 thoughts

i'm back! i was got halfway through the episode yesterday when a storm knocked the power and the internet off so i was sadly unable to finish the ep OR post my thoughts :( but i finished it now!!!

so this episode was about "voodoo" and you have maybe been able to tell from my previous posts, but i love studying religions and belief systems. so honestly i was pretty frightened this episode was going to be all "ahhh look how scary this belief we don't understand is!" and like. haitian vodou has been one of THE biggest victims of this line of thinking. so i was pleased that the real villain of the episode was a white man abusing his power.

and yes, they did make vodou seem ~spooky~ but: i'm pleased the bad guy was a real bad dude and not a caricature of what americans think a scary evil priest would look like.

so let's jump in!

we start the episode with hearing a baby crying. which is never a good way to begin, as far as i am concerned. just not for me.

it's a wife and a husband and this husband seems evil. he snaps at his wife and from his first line i was torn between "this man is genuinely an abusive monster" or "this man is being brainwashed" and thankfully it was the brainwashing route

he screams at his wife and child until the both cry and then he sees his breakfast turn to worms.

worms for breakfast... might sound wild to you, but for a bird, that's just an ordinary day.

he then gets in his car and crashes into a tree and we see some sort of sign on the tree he crashes into....... and this is the SECOND fellow that has died working at this refugee camp....

roadtrip with our agents to north carolina!!!!

(i made a post when i was like halfway through s1 about all the roadtrips these 2 go on and how they allowed them to get to know each other, and a few people were like "um they take planes?", but my POINT ON THE BONDING STANDS and also here is evidence of a REAL road trip)

they step out and both of their trench coats are billowing in the wind. a beautiful sight.

we're learning about what has been going on at this refugee camp they are visiting, where the soldiers have been dropping like flies... they mention that there was a riot recently, and a little boy killed, and i'm thinking, maybe that kind of trauma can lead a person to crash a car or harm themselves? i realize i sound like scully as i type that!!! a real skeptic!!! but it seems plausible.

they visit the home of the new widow and she's like "well that symbol on the tree was ALSO there when the first guy died... and get this... it was on this shell my baby found!" which led to my (joking) theory that it was the baby that was doing the killing... baby witchcraft is likely super effective, compounded by their innocence to create a super critical hit... alas, this theory had no backing

but evil babies aside, she's really freaked out because her late husband's friend grew up in new orleans and says that this is the type of voodoo he saw down there, so... interesting

they go into the refugee camp to ask around, and someone grabs scully, when a boy intervenes and tells the dude who grabbed her to get lost in french and i was SO proud because i knew what he was saying... like yeah i guess my duolingo IS paying off...

(all he said was "vas-tu" but hey! i was still proud)

the child then tries to smooth talk them into buying a good luck charm and mulder buys it which had me LAUGHING... like truly he sees a child and he will support them financially.

(i thought perhaps that the good luck charm would open up and be the symbol we earlier associated with destruction and make them a target but i was wrong!!! it just was a genuine ward against evil. thank u little boy named chester)

one of the military men says that "voodoo caused a riot" and as far as riot causes go i think that is not in the top 10 most common... i'm willing to guess that perhaps it is the awful treatment people in a refugee camp receive... but sure. blame a belief system! (/s)

scully goes to look at the body of the first man that died and JUMPSCARE! his body has been replaced in the morgue with some kind of dog? it looked like a hyena to me, which raised the question: where do you source a hyena in north carolina? no answers were provided

our agents visit the man who is blamed for starting the riot- who is named bauvais, what a wonderful name that is- and he says that the symbol they found was that of the loco-miroir, a crossroads between two worlds that shows the true self. so i'm thinking, perhaps if that is the case, these men that died were being tormented because of the awful things they did to the refugees?

he also describes the dog creature in the morgue as "a warning" which hm. i mean. could be.

scully is doing some driving now, which i noted because it was unusual, and she almost hits someone! (is this why she doesn't normally drive?)

i jest, of course, because who is in the road but... the dude who we earlier saw crash into a tree? the dude whose wife and baby we visited who were mourning his loss? this man? so... he isn't dead?? this part of my notes had many question marks

i guess i assumed that they... you know... had triple checked that he was really dead...

they check his blood and there is some poison in there that scully says is in pufferfish, which are eaten in japan, and i'm like queen i love you so bad, i love that you can look at a chemical and know what fish it comes from, and where in the world they eat that fish....... truly my most beloved

it appears that this man who is newly back from the dead/never dead at all was in a zombie-like state. and mulder is going on about how there are rumors of haitian zombies- which i had heard before, but don't recall anything about- and he is basically being a Nerd

(they're both nerds. i love people who know random Stuff. it's actually a one-way ticket to my heart. no lie!)

((but as for the accuracy of their belief system, i have a feeling it is truly more complex than just the western notion of zombies- i never got to dive into african and diaspora religions in class, so fact-checking this episode is an excellent excuse for me to jump down a rabbit hole))

okay so new proposed theory: take the pufferfish poison... fake a death... but why?

they visit the graveyard to go and find the body of the first man who passed away- but a fellow who watches the graveyard notes that the body snatchers got there first. THE BODY SNATCHERS? did we skip a few centuries back? he says "the voodoo types are buying" which. um. okay.

he ends this by calling the theft of remains "uncool" and for sure. i'd have to agree with that assessment.

but in the distance we see the little boy from earlier- chester- digging about! could HE be the body snatcher? well, mulder is gonna find out!

they chase him down only to find he has a bag of a ton of frogs LMAOOO they had to get those paid frog actors from the last episode in again somehow

so they bring this child- who i think has sadly lost all of his frogs at this point- back to get some food, and this is where i lost all power and was forced to wait a whole day to learned what happened next!

but i picked up here today. this episode was giving me flashbacks to the episode eve from s1. because these two are gonna find a youth and get them a meal. and i appreciate that about them.

anyway, he says he just sneaks out and back into the camp somehow. chester says he sells frogs to bauvais. we love a little guy who is always hustling.

he ate all of his food and mulder gives him more money to go get some more and it is soooo funny to me how mulder interacts with children. it's actually deeply sweet. he is gonna make some random kid on his case smile no matter what.

(oh man. this is the type of guy who is gonna be all "come on, sport, let's go toss the ball around", huh? if he weren't too busy going about chasing aliens and almost dying, i'd say that man would make a decent father)

scully's still in logic mode, saying maybe it was the frogs who made the poison. and yeah, some frogs do in fact make poison, but i'm not sure if north carolina is where you're gonna find em. but i guess there are evil creatures in the south like pythons and black widows so we can't rule it out?

mulder leaves scully in charge of watching chester while he go sees who has been following him. a very perceptive guy. sometimes.

oh!!! it's a fellow we've seen before!! he's a private, and he was friends with the deceased, and he was the one who told the now widow about the voodoo rituals he grew up with. and he refuses to talk with chester around so they have him wait in the car

now, we have dealt with evil children on this show before, but this little dude is not giving evil vibes to me. i find him endearing. which perhaps is what the writers WANT me to think... but no. turns out he was just a nice little dude lmao.

so the private who grew up in louisiana and is now stalking the agents explains that bauvais promised the colonel who is watching over the camp that his men would drop one by one unless they are returned to haiti. he also mentioned that colonel increased "the beatings"

HUH????? he increased them? as in there were some going on before, and now there are more????

scully asks why no one has filed a complaint, and he says "none of us feel good about it, ma'am, but we don't join the marines to feel good" okay but that isn't an answer... like you know that isn't an answer... right??

he's going on about a woman back home dying before her wedding night and the doctors finding snakes in her stomach and scully is like well that sounds fake as hell. and he counters with NUH-UH IT WAS MY FIANCE. ooooh scully was gagged. like what do you even say to that. (zuko voice) "that's rough, buddy"

NOOOO chester broke free from the car.... this is always a risk when leaving children to their own devices. it does make him seem more suspicious, and i was ROOTING for him!!! mulder chases him down because remember, mulder is a track star

and then i think, is this the scene where he sees a cat that has crossed my dash before? yes, it is! a meowing is heard as soon as i wrote those words in my notes. so my hypothesis is that the boy turned into the cat. because he said he gets in and out of the camp as he pleases! and what creature could do that with greater ease than a cat?

(by the end of this episode, my theory is challenged. but it's still nice to imagine)

the colonel is being a man baby... who is shocked? it sure isn't me!!! he's furious to hear about the body being gone, and says "what kind of barbaric religion would desecrate a grave?" to which i gesture vaguely to all cases of a body being moved after being buried, which we usually understand as the work of individuals and not place the blame on entire belief systems... but i got the subtext. he's a bigot.

scully asks him about the beating allegations and he says no way, if anyone is being beaten its actually my men. and then they leave him to eat his breakfast. they clearly do not believe what he had to say

at this point i had flashbacks to the first breakfast scene we saw, and thought that it was going to turn into bugs- but it didn't! instead his food started BLEEDING. gross

so they're going back in the car to go to the motel and scully turns the key and something cuts her hand?!? it looked at first like barbed wire, but then we see it's some kind of thorny branch. conspicuously placed in their vehicle!

"let me see that", says mulder, to whom she replies "oh it's nothing", and he looks visibly annoyed at not being allowed to investigate her little hand cut. let him doctor you sometimes, scully, he needs to feel useful. also you're gonna get blood on the wheel!!!!

at this point i'm freaking out, because what kind of plant was that?! what if it's poison? what if it's the poison that is also in pufferfish and frogs and makes you see stuff?

they speed off and we see... their car had the mark beneath it!!! the mark from earlier which is associated with destruction!!!!!!

cutscene to the colonel beating bauvais. no one is shocked. but it is still a sad sight. he's asking him how he does the magic.

mulder opens the door to his room and a ten of diamonds falls out. he seems to know what this means, even though i do not, and goes to route 10, where he meets...?

DEEP THROAT 2.0?? in north carolina??? mulder says he thought their last meeting would have been their final- remember, when he told mulder to stop chasing down the people involved with scully's kidnapping, and then shot a guy right in front of him, then came back to say the bad guys were gonna search his house- remember that? seemed pretty final to me as well. but clearly not

he says that their search is faltering, and that in 24 hours everyone but the military will be denied access to the camp. mulder is pissed, and is asking why the refugees are being held up, and why are they being beaten, and he says that "those people are innocent civilians, some people in congress might have a problem with that". deep throat 2.0 points out that by the time congress makes an investigation committee, their tracks will be covered, which rings true. but damn, mulder believing- or wanting to believe- that the government will helps people says so much about his character.

so basically deep throat 2.0 shows up to antagonize him for not being on the right track and then leaves. much like deep throat 1.0.

we see scully back at the motel, and her hand is covered in spots and blood, and i wrote a "NOOOOOOO" in my notes because i was distressed!!!!

she knocks on what she thinks is mulder's door- it's door 7, i thought he was in 10?- and the door is unlocked, so she just walks in. but she hears water running, like a shower/bath, so she just talks to mulder through the door LMAOOOO i thought that was so sweet. very married behavior. talking to the husband (platonic or romantic or a secret third thing) while he showers. the private they spoke to went AWOL! isn't that interesting, mulder?

mulder...? there's bloody water pouring in beneath the door?

she busts it open, probably thinking the worst, and it's the louisiana private from before laying dead in the bathtub while water runs. which is definitely not a great thing, but at least it wasn't mulder dying in there. who, conveniently, makes an entrance, holding our first zombie man at gunpoint!!! and zombie man was holding a dagger!!! things are not looking good for him!!!

they take him in for questioning but honestly i was still worried about her hand at this point. like is anyone gonna tend to it.

we learn that... BAUVAIS IS DEAD? allegedly at his own hand. but given that we saw the colonel beating him... let's just say i do not believe it

scully's grasping her forehead, and mulder is asking what's wrong, and she's saying "i'm fine, it's just a headache", and here i made a note to psychoanalyze the fact that the doctor is unwilling to doctor herself. and i WILL have lots to say on that at a later date.

so the newly-dead-in-the-bathtub private gave his friend's wife something to give to the agents if anything happened to him. and they open it up, and it's a photo of the colonel WITH bauvais. so clearly they knew each other. but how? it really isn't answered tbh

they sneak into his office. nice. and they find CHICKEN FEET in his drawers, on top of papers from the dead privates, who had filed complaints against him. so they DID try to make things right and not just blindly follow orders like the one dude implied!

and then mulder opens a chest, and he holds up some dog tags...

but freeze! a soldier tries to stop them. he only gives up when they show that the dog tags belong to the dead privates, and that the BONES of the very first man are sitting in the chest. BONES??? i did not see that one coming. he KEPT THEM??? and he tried to play it off like someone else did it??? oh colonel you are a sick and twisted individual

and now the colonel is back at bauvais' grave, digging it up, chanting haitian creole and holding a knife. um. not great.

the agents roll up to the scene and scully is hiding her face. "what is it, scully?" he asks; she deflects with an "i'm alright". he astutely responds with a "you don't look alright", at which point i am cheering because YEAHHHH WHUMP NATION. HERE WE ARE!!!! MAKE SOME NOISE!!!!

(i mean, it's bad timing, with a wild colonel they need to go catch, but still. when you get a trope you like, you hold it dear. she tells him to go get the colonel and she'll stay in the car)

i thought that perhaps she was hiding her face because she was seeing things, and then she starts... coughing up blood?? and i'm horrified and wondering if this is real or another trick of the poison, and then her hand starts pouring water and a whole dude comes out of it, at which case i realize we are in hallucination town

and back in the graveyard, the colonel is speaking creole in a demon voice, and he moves his hand and mulder is like... stabbed?? or something??? maybe not with a knife but like psychically? he's down for the count

back to scully cam, the man who had emerged from her hand is speaking in a demon creole as well, so she grabs the good luck charm from chester and BAM! everything clears. shoutout to chester for being a real one. i noted that i knew he was a cat, and just as i typed that, a black kitty showed up on top of the car!!!!!!!!

so, now free from the clutches of evil, she runs out to get mulder, who has been lying in the graveyard.

and the FIRST THING this man says is "you're okay?"

AHHHHHH (inconsolable screaming for a really long time)

mulder, who was laying in a graveyard face down with either a real or a psychic stab wound, and after having witnessed some demon fuckery- immediately his mind goes to making sure that she was okay. oh that terrible, terrible need to protect kicking in, as natural and as undeniable to him as breathing. these two are so intertwined it's sickening. aughhhh i am tearing up typing this. what have they turned me into....

so it appears colonel wharton has been killed by the spirit of bauvais, at least according to what the viewer sees and also mulder's report, so cosmic revenge has been served. scully didn't see all this go down, however, so she just sees him in his coffin and is like ???? but again mulder was face down in the dirt so. she's probably thinking, well, who knows what actually happened

but, direct action worked: the refugees are now being repatriated! the agents ask to see the list of people who are returning and are confused because chester isn't on there. and the soldier says, oh right, that poor boy, he died in the riot a while back

HUH??????? he wasn't really there the whole time? he was a benevolent spirit who ate the french fries they bought him and maybe appeared as a cat???

i love that for him. and i'm also deeply sad to learn that he was dead the whole time. but i'm happy that he is getting to spend the afterlife hustling people and digging for frogs.

(of course, that is, if you believe the mulder sort of theory..... now, if you're scully, you're probably thinking, huh, weird that little boy lied about his name... but then again, after her paranormal nurse experience, i'm not sure she's entirely convinced that positive spirits aren't out and about. there has to be a tiiiiny part of her that holds out hope, even if it's scary)

so, the episode ends with the guy who earlier proclaimed body snatching uncool burying the colonel. and we see that- surprise- he wasn't actually dead! he was somehow also put into a zombie-like state, and is screaming as he is buried alive. ah, justice has been delivered.

overall, i liked this episode! the approach towards handling haitian vodou could definitely have been better and less exoticised, but frankly i was expecting a lot worse. i thought it was an interesting premise, i liked little chester, and there are some ambiguities- like, how did the colonel know bauvais? what put them in the zombie state? was it poison from the thorns that caused the hallucinations? if so, why would the good luck charm clear it? but they were ambiguous enough to just leave me feeling curious, rather than entirely stumped like the last episode did. because i'm still trying to put the pieces in place with that one. i was really thinking it over in the shower today.

anyway, loved their interactions this episode- loved worried mulder, loved trying to play it cool and strong scully, loved her thinking it was his room and waltzing in and reporting while he showered, loved freshly stabbed man asking if she was okay, loved mulder meeting another child and saying i'm gonna make this kid smile, loved him looking pissed when she wouldn't show him the cut on her hand, loved a corrupt military official being buried alive. a lot to enjoy here.

[freakattack]

What do you think about Mario's personality in Fortune Street and the Satellaview games?

GAME THEORY: Everything that's ever happened in a mario game was a stageplay and fake except for this:

Jokes aside I am delighted by the fact that the raunchier satellaview "games" exist, just as I am delighted by the fact that Super Hornio Bros exists in the Nintendo vault and is legally owned by them. As far as the actual Satellaview games, I am especially fond of BS Super Mario USA because it attempts to explain what the fuck happened in regular super mario USA, although BS super mario collection also gets a shoutout from me for reading like a mario self insert fanfiction. And for the....soundtrack

Admittedly, I've never been able to get my hands on Fortune Street, but it's high on my wishlist because if there's one thing I want in life it's a dialogue-heavy mario party game, and I want to know what secrets it holds (besides Daisy's dad and Yoshi's tax evasion). Skimming the "Fortune Street Quotes" page by the good folks at super mario wiki (without spoiling myself too much), I really appreciate how Mario's trademark graciousness and good sportsmanship is directly proportional to how well he knows his opponent; if Luigi and Peach are winning, they have his full support, Yoshi and Toad get a playful ribbing, and all the Dragon Quest characters he simply does not give a shit about. For all the love he has in his heart, Mario has been shown to have a fiercely competitive side, so I'm not too surprised. I'm really happy though that he extends his unconditional support to Birdie, because I feel like they never hang out but they are so important to each other. We ARE all proud of her

[adenei]

Ch 1 - Never Really Over

*Deep breaths*

Soooo I've been working on a new multi-chap romione fic since April. Have kept it pretty quiet aside from my betas who have been wonderful with their help and support because let's be real, finding time to write and allow yourself to become invested in a hobby with an infant is HARD. But that's a whole other slew of issues for another day. You're here for the fic (I assume), so let's get back to that.

I love the direction this is taking, and am super proud of the idea and its development. I think I'm known a lot for taking existing stories/movies/etc and twisting them to fit a ship in an AU, but this one is all me - yay proving to myself that I CAN have original ideas!

It is an American Romione AU in a modern setting.

Summary:

Hermione Granger is a modern woman who doesn’t need to find love for self-fulfillment. Not that finding love is even an option anymore. Her perfect love story has come and gone with the one who got away—sorry, the one who disappeared is more like it.

That fake fairy tale is all well and good until Ron Weasley, the man who ruined everything, suddenly turns back up in her life with no explanation whatsoever. It seems his only goal is to show up wherever she is, attempting to undo the walls she’s built around her heart after he shattered it into a million tiny pieces. But Hermione’s determined not to let him in. With the help of her best friends and an online dating site that promises users their very own ‘happily ever after,’ she sets out to move on from her first love for good. 

After a few misses, Billy slides into her inbox, a sweet, genuine, fun-loving guy who’s easy to talk to and fills Hermione with the hope that perhaps love isn’t off the table after all. Seemingly overnight, she’s gone from perpetually single to balancing a love triangle on a fine, fine line. The deeper she gets, the harder she realizes it’s going to be when she has to choose. The last thing she wants to do is break anyone’s heart—her own included.

So, without further ado, I give you the first chapter of Never Really Over.

Read on AO3

But once in a while I trip up and I cross the line, and I think of you

Work ᐧ a ᐧ hol ᐧ ic (noun) a person who compulsively works long and hard hours.

God, I hate the connotation of that word. And yet it still burns into my mind, distracting me from—unironically—the article I’m trying to finish up at my desk. Am I three months ahead of the current deadline? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean anything. There’s nothing wrong with having backups just in case. It shouldn’t classify me as a workaholic.

Because I’m not.

It’s only haunting me because my brain has a sick and twisted sense of humor. It clearly refuses to follow my strict list of off-limit thoughts, cementing the chokehold the word has on my life.

Ugh. Why am I letting this bother me anyway? I’m Hermione Granger, a capable, independent woman who is perfectly happy with her life right now. A twenty eight-year-old with a house of her own, a career she’s passionate about, and the five best friends a girl could ask for thanks to fate bringing us together during freshman orientation at Kearney University. The memory brings a smile to my lips. What more could one want?

And then the frown returns when I remember that I’m sitting alone in the office on a Friday evening and self-doubt trickles in. If I’m being honest, there’s a lot more I want. Like love. Finding the love of my life would be nice. I thought I’d at least be married by now, and maybe have one kid by the time I turned thirty. Not that I’m a traditional woman by any means. I’m about as modern as they come. It’s just…

No. You’re not allowed to think about him, remember?

Except it’s really hard not to think about him. Especially when that damn word keeps flashing in my mind while I sit here on weekend time, finishing an article that’s nowhere near due. But it doesn’t matter. That inside joke died a long time ago. I stopped finding the word endearing the moment I realized he was no longer in my life. Now if only my brain would get the memo.

I shake my head, brunette curls flying around as I try to refocus on the cursor blinking in front of me. It’s still a tough pill to swallow, but I’ve long since given up on love—or so I’m telling myself. Romantic companionship clearly isn’t in the cards for me, so I turn to the one thing that will never let me down: writing. And right now, I’m only a couple of paragraphs away from completing a lovely little piece on the hidden gems of Bora Bora—the things they won’t tell you in the travel guides.

A long, deep breath helps me push those intrusive thoughts away and brings me back to the salty ocean air and the calm lapping of the waves. If I concentrate long enough, I can feel the sparkling white sand between my toes, and it’s enough to catapult me right back into the article—until my phone rings two minutes later.

I don’t want to answer, but it’s Hannah Abbott, my best friend, and she’s always there for me when I need her. The least I can do is return the favor. Plus, the creative juices are no longer flowing thanks to the interruption, so I may as well see what she wants.

With a swipe right to answer, I do my best not to sound annoyed. “Hello?”

“Where are you?!” Hannah cries, though her voice sounds hushed, like she’s hiding in a closet or something.

“Finishing up an article at work. Why?”

“Unbelievable,” she grumbles, more to herself than to me. “Hermione, I’m going to let you think about why I’m calling for a second and see if you can put the pieces together.”

“What are you talking about?” I’m not in the mood to play this game, but I adjust the phone and hold it against my shoulder so I can lift my laptop and check my desk calendar.

August first. Friday. The day I try to forget. But then I see the periwinkle writing at the bottom of the square.  Harry and Neville’s birthday party.

Remember the strong support system I mentioned earlier? The freshman orientation group turned lifelong friends? Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom are part of that, along with Hannah, of course, and Seamus Finnigan and Lavender Brown. We never miss anyone’s birthdays, and Hannah knows that.

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit! How could I forget?”

Hannah sniggers at me. “Yes, how could you forget? Hermione, I don’t know if it’s because you love your job so much that you’re willing to stay late on a Friday, or because of what day it is, but—”

“We’re not talking about that. I’m leaving now. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

I slam my laptop shut and shove it in my bag a little too haphazardly. I’m already closing my office door by the time Hannah responds again. “Right…”

She’s clearly contemplating whether to push the subject or let it go. After all, she’ll have all night to try and grill me on it, but she knows better. We don’t talk about what happened on August first. Ever.

And just to make sure she doesn’t go there, I try to swing the conversation back to the guys. “Have they noticed I’m not there yet?” 

“Well, considering it’s a small gathering of our closest friends—all of whom are already here because the party started an hour ago—yeah, they’ve noticed.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry, okay? I just—”

“—Got caught up with whatever article you’re working on? I know, I know. You’re lucky it’s only their twenty-eighth birthday and not the big three-oh.”

“Come on, Han, this is one tiny mistake and I feel terrible. You don’t need to make it worse. I’m never late, you know that! And I would never miss something as big as their thirtieth birthdays. Especially not since we’ve already got a running list of themes and ideas going. Just—give me a break, okay? I’ll be there soon. I’m almost to the car now.”

“Alright.” Hannah sighs. There’s a stilted pause and I wait, knowing there’s something else she wants to say, and I brace for the lecture about my workaholic tendencies and what it relates to. Damn psychology major.

“Listen, Hermione, there’s something you should—” But after a long day of reflecting on it, I don’t want to go there right now.

“See you in fifteen, bye!” I hang up the phone before she can finish her sentence. She tries this every year. You’d think after six years she’d let it go. But no, she thinks that one of these days I’ll finally talk about it. Well, she can keep trying, but it’s not going to happen. That part of my life is over and it’ll only hurt more to bring it back up. 

⚭

It takes me a little longer than fifteen minutes, but that’s to be expected with D.C. traffic. Once I’m parked outside Hannah and Neville’s house, I quickly do a once-over on my appearance. Thanks to the mid-summer humidity, my hair is frizzier than when I tamed it into its half-ponytail this morning. It’s too bad my incessant need to run my fingers through the curly strands does nothing to combat its flyaway tendency. I guess I’ll just have to deal with yet another pitch from Lavender to let her help me with my nonexistent beauty regimen. Perks of having a beautician for a friend. 

Prying my eyes away from the visor mirror, I get out of the car and look down at the pale yellow eyelet sundress I put on this morning. There are definite wrinkles and creases from sitting at my desk all day, but what can I do? At least my mascara isn’t running down my face and I don’t have sweat stains under my arms. That’s more than presentable for a backyard barbeque after working all day. Kudos to whoever chose that over some fancy dinner.

Not that my friends would care. They’ve always accepted me for who I am. Sure, I’ll never hear the end of being late tonight, but at least I made it, and in their company,  I’ll be able to accomplish the one thing I’ve struggled with all day: taking my mind off of him.

Faint sounds of laughter echo as I walk up the path to the front door and let myself in. A ‘happy birthday’ sign hangs from the ceiling in the foyer, and red and gold balloons litter the floor leading to the kitchen. Of course they’d deck out the place with the colors of our alma mater—I wouldn’t expect anything less. 

“Hey, I’m here! And sorry I’m late, you know how work is,” I call to a seemingly empty house. 

I poke my head into an empty living room before heading back to the kitchen, where I find Seamus pulling a beer out of the fridge. Everyone else must be out back.

“Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show up.”

And so it begins. 

Rolling my eyes, I grab a wedge of gouda off the picked over charcuterie board on the counter. “You say that like I intended to show up almost two hours late. I lost track of time.”

That was sort of the truth. After all, I couldn’t tell Seamus I forgot, he’d never let me live it down. Seamus is usually the one who gets called out on things. His affinity for pyrotechnics has created many occasions for us to give him hell, and you can guarantee between the five of us, we never let him live a single one down. So I guess I can’t blame him when he doesn’t miss a beat now the tables are turned.

Which is why I’m not surprised he isn’t letting me off the hook yet. With a snort, he tries to call my bluff. “C’mon, Hermione. We all know you love working so much that you’d skip out on weekends if you could. You don’t have to lie.” And then, to make things weirder, he looks around and lowers his voice to add, “You can tell me the truth about why you’re late. It’ll be our little secret.”

My face scrunches up before I have a chance to control its reaction. Why does he care so much? 

“I…I don’t know what you mean. I really did lose track of time, Shay. Why are you acting so strange?”

A scowl crosses his face as he sets his beer down on the white speckled quartz. He eyes the back deck before lowering his voice and says, “Because I’ve got a bet going with Lav and Nev on whether you were going to show or not.”

“Whether I was going to—why wouldn’t I show? Honestly, it’s not my fault I got wrapped up in research and writing an article all day and then forgot I had plans tonight! Do you guys bet on my predisposition to get lost in my job and failure to show up to events often?” 

I’m so bewildered by the fact that there’s a bet that I don’t even care about letting my forgetfulness slip. Do I need to reconsider how genuine these friendships are? Does this happen often? Are my friends not as supportive as I thought they were?

I open my mouth to ask as much, but clamp it shut when I see the wide-eyed, pale shock cross Seamus’s face. His reaction is far more severe than it should be and now I’m really confused. He spins around and opens the fridge, rummaging around until he pulls out a mango White Claw—my favorite.

Things are getting more suspicious by the second, and I need to know what is going on. “Seamus, what—”

“Here.” He opens the can with a loud crack and hands it to me. “You’re going to need this.”

Oh, come on. “Seriously? You know I don’t care if I’m already three drinks behind.”

“Well, you might this time…” he mumbles before nodding to the door. “Come on, everyone’s out back. I’m sure they’ll be excited to know you finally made it.”

Okay, what is happening? I try not to let my jaw drop as my mind works to decode this odd behavior. Seamus has always been the one with the crazy ideas and adventurous spirit. There’s not a cryptic bone in his body. If anything, he’s always impulsive and up-front with his intentions.

All I can do is shake my head and follow, giving up on trying to make sense of anything. I take a few quick swigs and step through the sliding glass door that Seamus left open for me. Lively conversation comes from my left, where everyone is sitting around the patio table. I prepare myself for more endless teasing as I shut the door behind me, but instead, the chatter dies to a sudden silence. More peculiarity. 

Did I spill something on myself and miss it? No, Seamus would have said something. Or are they really just that shocked about my late arrival? I’m about to ask as much until I look up and see an all too familiar shade of red hair sitting at the table with his back toward me.

Despite the eighty-degree weather, my body breaks into a cold sweat. I’ve spent six years pretending he doesn’t exist anymore. Six years trying to forget that part of my life, convincing myself that he wasn’t the person I thought he was. That he wasn’t ‘the one.’ 

Everyone else’s expressions mirror my shock when they realize I didn’t know he was going to be here, though Hannah’s contains a tiny wince that’s meant to say, ‘I tried to warn you.’ And their reactions are enough to make Ron Weasley, my ex-best friend, ex-confidante, and ex-lover, turn around.

Seeing his face unfreezes my body from its current awkward stance. Anger and hurt burst through the gates that I’ve worked so hard to keep locked up as our eyes meet. In slow motion, my hard seltzer clatters to the ground, soaking my feet and wedge leather sandals in the sticky, bubbly liquid as I try to find my voice. 

As if this paradox couldn’t become any more ironic, he actually seems excited to see me. He opens his mouth to say something, but I’ll never know what since I manage to cut him off with the only scathing question that I can possibly think of. 

“What are you doing here?”

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

howdy ! i've never been matched up before and saw you were doing them so i'm curious to know who you'd match me with ^-^

i think i'm supposed to give a little description of myself first right ? Here i go

i'd say i'm a really stubborn person who doesn't care about others opinions and walk by my own rhythm but my anxiety has kept me from doing so and made me really shy and introverted , if i asked a friend to describe me they'd probably say anger issues (i've been getting better from them and that makes me really proud) and that i'm a people pleaser, i like helping others even when ik they wouldn't do the same for me ( don't put me in the same room as azul cus ik he'll scam me 😭) my hobbies consist of drawing and listening to music , i really like to try my hand at any type of arts and crafts but if I don't get if right the first time i'll probably give up on it 😅

okay so relationship wise i'm looking for someone extroverted who will make time for me and communicate with me , i'm tired of introverted boys who don't put any effort and don't communicate and just let me do all the work . i just want someone who i feel comfortable with , who ik i can joke with without walking on eggshells around them , someone who can be my bedt friend and lover , I mostly show affection through teasing and joking since i have a hard time talking about my feelings .

for the additional information: i'm an Aries sun , Leo moon , and Sagittarius rising and i'm an intp if that helps

sorry this ended up being way too long and clearly i talked as if i was at a therapy session but i hope you don't mind and find time to do my request,if not please just ignore this 😅

I AM HONOURED TO WRITE YOUR FIRST MATCH-UP! *shoots self-love at you* Oh, here he is!

Kalim Al-Asim

Before everything else, he’s your friend. There to support you in his optimistic, sunshiney, well, Kalim, way. Even before ~da romance~ he is very forward with his feelings and would casually say, “I love you!” But one day everything just came together and he realized that yes, he loves you, and not in a friend way!

Yeah, the two of you are both people-pleasers, but through some growth together, you can both put your foot down and assert yourselves! Kalim will be there to reassure you in anxious situations as well. But he likes seeing you walk to the rhythm of your own drum.

He would giggle and tease you back, albeit his teasing is very lighthearted. He takes the joking like a champ, and you need not to worry about walking on eggshells around him.

Kalim is an open book, he may be busy, but he’ll set aside time for you… or just ditch his duties :D Why would he want to discuss silk prices when he could hang out with his favourite person?!

Even though he would be super excited to see what you created in your sketchbook, he also respects your boundaries. He may ask, but he won’t push. He is your number one supporter though. You don’t like it? Well, Kalim thinks it’s lovely!

Speaking of art, if he so happens to overhear that you want some high end supplies, well, you are now set for life! Kalim would also make you some drawings, or add a post it note on your sketchbook. “This is STUNNING! But not as stunning as you! :D ”

Impromptu dance party! He likes listening to music with you, be it just sitting quietly and moving his head to the rhythm with you, or dancing about and laughing. He would also invite you along to Light Music Club if you ever wanted to see him perform. “This one is for you, my sweet bee!” *queue drum solo*

He would also be there, and be more serious if you wanted to tell him something; be it something small that was bugging you, or something heavy that was weighing you down. He may be cheerful, but he knows when something is on your mind.

"You know, I'm always here if you want to talk, sweet bee."

Hope you like your match-up, Melice! Also, it's an honour to write your first one!

Yes, he calls you his sweet bee; people may think you're "angry" but he just sees a sweet friend trying to live their life. Plus, he also took note that you like the lil fuzzy pollinators, so you are now Sweet Bee!

[goldenworldsabound]

OKAY so anyway that aside I also forgot to mention my husband and I will be starting to watch Star Trek Discovery.

Many of you are new here and will not know that Spock is the OG fave for me. TOS Spock specifically. When I self shipped in high school (I wrote so. much. fic. in my diary. loved that for me, helped me cope so good) it was Spock and Spock only. Everyone in my life knew I was obsessed with him. And you know what? I knew SO MUCH about TOS. Grown ass men tried to gatekeep my high school self and got fucking schooled by me. I knew everything there was to know about Vulcan.

I don't, anymore. It's been some time. But Spock still holds the SPECIALEST place in my heart even though I haven't talked about him much later. I did revamp our ship a few years ago - or rather, made a new version since I'm too attached to the original but wanted something more...mm...more like how I make my ships now, I guess? The original one was a straight isekai - due to time travel shenanigans I end up on the Enterprise and Spock and I fall in love (I knew it was him though like there was still Star Trek on TV and all that so fdksjahf). It was really helpful to me at the time and honestly it could fully happen with how TOS tends to be. Time travel is par for the course KJFHEWKFHW that one was "Love is Fascinating".

The new one is "Across Time and Space" and also came with me shipping with Kirk as well ("Solar Flare Love") and naturally the poly (cause how can you be a fan of TOS and not ship Spirk (I'm joking but like also it's truly iconic and important for popularizing slash fic)) which is "Interwoven Stars".

And that one I am QUITE proud of what I came up with. Beneath the cut.

In the new lore, Spock and I grow up together on Vulcan. We're really close. I'm not a Vulcan - I wasn't born there, and I've lived on a multitude of planets since they've moved for their jobs a lot. I'm a human. But we stay on Vulcan the longest of any of them. Spock and I, accidentally and unbeknownst to us, sort of form a childish and ill-formed Bond. A telepathic one, as Vulcans do. We don't realize this and no one else does either.

Eventually, I have to move away. It sucks. No one liked that.

Somewhere along the way, something goes super wrong during our travels. My parents die and I'm cryogenically frozen for several years. I'm eventually rescued and revived but...well my family is dead now. Oops.

I go into Starfleet, several years behind Spock.

Which puts us in this position that my first assignment is the Enterprise. And Spock is the Enterprise's Science Officer. And I am reporting directly to him.

We recognize each other!!! It's exciting.

Unfortunately. Spock has realized that we have this awkward incomplete bond. And once we've taken off he determines that, well, he's engaged, so, he's gotta break this off. And he does. And omg it fucking hurts. For both of us. Our minds have been in contact for so long. He's always been with me even if I didn't realize it. So I'm. Upset.

There's a shore leave right then (which is why he waited until then to do it) and I go to that and am Hella Depressed and LO AND BEHOLD Kirk and Bones are like ? We're adopting you as our friend now. You WILL have fun and that IS a threat.

So now I'm besties with the CAPTAIN and the doctor. And Bones and I bond real fucking fast I tell you fkjdhsakjf Kirk thinks I'm cute but like he's well aware of the power dynamic so he's not trying to make a move.

Anyway I don't tell either of them what happened.

Over time I think it just becomes apparent that Spock and I have feelings for each other/are awkward, and Bones gets on me about it like, "you and the green-blooded hobgoblin should just get together already" and I brush him off a bunch until I finally snap about how we can't cause he's engaged. He's very sympathetic after that.

Kirk and I are also somewhat awkwardly on and off trying out dating (with an open relationship) which is like. I like him!!! He likes me!!! But we also both like Spock and it's just...tense and awkward at times?

the whole Pon Farr thing will happen and then Spock is free to...to choose me fkjdhsakjfhdsak and we'll rebond and stuff. And Kirk is like, "congrats" all awkwardly thinking he's out of the picture now. But Spock and I will invite him into our relationship after some time of getting to know each other again!!!

so yeah that was a lot fkjsadhfkjds but that's the basic premise. I love Spock a lot-

[babycatlix]

hi friends 🩵

just a small update, 3 days into being sick, and my throat is beginning to swell so, i have my super sexy sick voice 😏 but jokes aside, i slept terribly last night, every time i coughed i thought i might p*ke, so i had to sit up when i coughed. sneezing is the worst™ and my head is pounding right now. i can't remember the last time i took so much tylenol.

i know i shouldn't feel bad, but i do bc i really wanted to work on gifs over the break. i feel okay in the morning, i even went out yesterday with my parents, masked of course, but around 12pm-1pm my head hurts again and i end up taking a 3-4 hour nap.

anyway, i hope you're having a better holiday than i am. if no one's told you recently, i'm proud of you and you're doing great! 🩵 please stay safe out there, make good choices, and stay hydrated my friends! 🩵

[coldflasher]

you know i have to ask about coldwest for the ship thing

hmmm yeah, this one isn't for me really :/ not my cup of tea

jokes, can you imagine haha. i am the captain of coldwest. yo ho ho and a bottle of why-the-fuck-didn't-they-get-more-screentime

What made you ship it?

Honestly I had never even thought about shipping them until Redhead's fic "Needs Must, As the Devil Drives" got me super into Coldwestallen, and from there I spent a lot more time thinking about the Coldwest side of that dynamic and what a fun and complicated relationship that would be... then the rest, ngl, was largely built from my own headcanons and bits of dozens of fics that hopefully, one day, I will actually finish...

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

So many things!! I think the first thing that comes to mind is that I feel like Coldwest offers a great opportunity to put Iris out there in the field. The show kind of tends to keep Iris out of the action a lot. Like she is a hugely important member of the team, obviously, but she's generally sitting in S.T.A.R Labs running tech support, and aside from occasionally getting temporary speed powers or occasionally aiming a gun at a threat, she often takes a back seat to the action. Barry in particular has this tendency to want to get Iris as far away from a fight as possible, and while I get it, I love seeing Iris kick ass. We know she can shoot, throw a punch, whatever, but she rarely gets the opportunity to get out there as much, and whenever she does, it's panic button time and she gets whisked to safety. I feel like Len, with his tendency to get into trouble, his love of adrenaline and a fight, and the thrill he clearly gets while fighting, would love to have Iris on his side in that kind of situation, and he wouldn't hesitate to get her involved. He'd actually encourage it, if anything. Which also provides fun conflict with Joe, who would already be seething that this criminal is dating his daughter, but now he's encouraging her to put her life at risk and possibly commit crimes? Oh, the drama >:) I love writing Coldwest team-ups where Iris gets to use her skills as a reporter while Len uses his skills as a thief, and they kind of play off one another... with lots of back and forth arguing and snark, of course.

I also personally like that, in my view, Iris would have a better handle on Len than anyone else. Like he's more willing to let her boss him around than he would be with another partner. As mentioned, she doesn't take his shit, she's not as amused by him and she will tell him to cut the crap if he's being a dick. In contrast, though, I also feel like he'd be softer than her than he would with another partner. Sure, he'll pull her pigtails and make mean, sly comments, he wouldn't be Len if he didn't... but he also admires and respects her, he's a fan of her work, and I think that Iris is just such a kind and gentle person that I think being around her would soften him. He'd never admit it, but in my head, he's so gone for her, and while it might take a while for him to let his guard down, if you'll excuse the terrible ice pun, he'd melt for her. Like. That small smile he gives to show he's proud of his sister---that kind of moment, all this affection and pride that he keeps private and only lets out when no one's looking, but when they're alone, he lets her see it. Just a little. Sigh.

Also, I kind of like that it's such unchartered territory wrt canon. Like GOD my kingdom for more coldwest scenes, but also, the fact that we get to see so little of them together on screen means that there is so much to explore there, and canon cannot tell me no (like it would stop me anyway haha). It really does give me free reign to think about how they would interact and what kind of scenarios they'd get involved in.

Oh yeah, and I also think they're both extremely hot and I wanna see them bang seven ways to Sunday, so there's that

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't really know. It's such a small ship, I don't really know what opinions are out there haha. Hm... I guess maybe that I think Iris would call him babe. Cos generally Len is NOT a petname person and I think if anyone else tried to call him babe, he would make them regret it, but with Iris, he's like a cat being pet and secretly liking it but pretending not to... he's like "I'll allow it. Maybe." but secretly smug like yes. I am babe

Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on whether I ship it or not

[nervousfireponyllama-blog]

BIG trauma dump because I needed it

I’m in too much pain so I can’t work enough, so I can’t make enough money to be independent. The dependece on my father is killing me. I am a free maid, pet sitter, and punching bag. I love these animals as my only family and will not leave them to die in his care. He has threatened to allow them to starve or die of a diabetic coma if I leave, and I have told police who simply said “that’s tough,” and do nothing. Two days ago I was blamed for being raped because I didn’t scream loud enough, when every second of his advantages I literally was screaming and punching holes in the wall(not fucking proud of it) for help. I just froze in the moments he would rape me. I wasn’t allowed my own property, space, or body when that THING lived with us but it’s such a shocker he raped me when they allowed everything but that. How is NOT the fault of a parent for forcing their child to be around a predator? I stood up for myself so much and MY family, not HIS, just let him do anything he wanted. It got to the point they were feeding him and not me, as I was newly diagnosed with Celiac and they just refused to buy me safe food all together.

He would steal and break my shit, which was apparently my fault for leaving it out. He would use way too heavy weights on my weight wrack and completely broke it, $350 fix on me. He would purposely cum all over my shower and when I brought it up in tears it was “that’s just what teenage boys do.” He would leave his pubic hair on my soap and laugh, so did my family. He would steal everything I had not nailed down. That was also somehow my fault and I was overreacting. He ruined one of the only thoughtful gifts from my dad, which was a $400-450 copy of Batman: The Killing Joke. Also my fault for not telling him no (I did.) This escalated until I couldn’t say no to sexual advances or he would throw a fit, never mentioning why, and then my dad would yell at me for “being mean to him.” Eventually he started raping me and it had to happen 8-9 times before it stopped(also my fault for locking the door?!?!), and it only stopped because I had to physically wrangle him out of house and lock him outside. My mom even saw him corner me against a wall and yell at me before all this, we made eye contact and she went back to scrolling on her phone..

Now that I have (diagnosed) PTSD it is a hell. My dad purposely antagonizes me, then when I start having a panic attack he REFUSES TO SHUT THE FUCK UP so I freak out more, purposely, then I end up self harming to make it stop. I have permanent brain damage and scarring on my left arm now.

I’ve come to realize I’ve never really had parents at all, just two people who knew I existed and made me for their selfish desires. I was cast aside once I wasn’t cute to them anymore. I will never have the family I wish I would’ve. I don’t know how to move on and I have asked the state for help I think 40+ times this year, and they gave me NOTHING. Couldn’t get me an appointment more than once a fucking month. No one cares, no matter how much the 988 person blows smoke up my ass. It’s just the truth. The only living beings that would know I disappeared if I ended it all are literally my pets and my abusers (and I guess also you, reader, if you’re there), and I can’t do that to my pets, but I want to be at peace so badly; to experience some relief.

There is no sight of getting away in the future. He is forcing us to move states so he can pay cheaper alimony to my mom, so I have to reobtain multiple licenses and restart college. My entire year of classes doesn’t transfer. I just don’t want to deal with existing anymore.

Edit: The pain I reference at the beginning is not emotional. I have a lot of symptoms still from untreated Celiac that makes anything.. bathroom related excruciating. I also have IC, or interstitial cystitis, which makes me have to urinate 24/7 and is super painful for me all day, but has no cure. I just had an MRI for my chronic cluster headaches, also nothing. I have terrible and sharp chest pain, had an EKG and echocardiogram, just a benign murmur. I don’t understand why my organs hurt so much but they do, and I don’t get any slack cut for me from it, just get told to stop being lazy.