#but jan's expression of pure happiness as he looks at him tells so much

[radioactive-cloud]

no but this photo. it's the photo. it's just. ugh. it's the photo and i have so many feelings about it

[kateis-cakeis]

This analysis is specifically for this anon

HELLO, Ghostbur did some SHOUTING today! Do you know how amazing that is? Do you know how long I’ve been craving that?! HOLY FUCK

Hi... Let’s reset. Ghostbur shouting at Phil was a big step, and even though he forgot all about it, it shows a lot about Ghostbur and what he cares about, and that in turn shows why he’s changed his mind on being brought back to life.

(All these quotes are from Wilbur’s stream, First Time Ghostbur Live: 6th Jan)

When he begins talking to Phil, he’s... calm.

“Why- Why did you- Why did you blow up L’Manberg?” - (17:19)

The way Ghostbur says this with such sadness, such sorrow. It hurts.

I MEAN LOOK AT THE POOR GUY! He’s emotionally destroyed by it. Because of Friend, because Friend’s dead, again, and we know what that does to Ghostbur, it hurts him. Because he loves Friend. (Which suggests that canon deaths in the Dream SMP are real, painful deaths, which is why they’re so serious in their nature.)

And then he shouts, and he makes Phil listen (after he tries to make the excuse that Friend has infinite canon lives like that makes it better):

“You knew Friend was in your house! You knew! Stop! Stop! Stop! You knew Friend was in your house! You knew everything everyone owned was in this town!” - (17:39)

This line shows how Ghostbur is thinking, him putting his head in his hands, him shouting, it shows his emotional state. He’s full of anguish and pain, sadness and anger.

But what does it suggest he’s thinking? That he puts value on people’s belongings. (Including books, because like rip to them, that one hurts.) Friend is a physical being, something he loves, but he applies that same love and value to what people owned in L’Manberg. 

It causes him great pain to think of this, that those things are gone, without ever getting them back (a bit like death, huh).

Then we get this line, where he’s completely done with Phil’s explanation:

“I don’t- I don’t- I don’t- I don’t want to listen- I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t want to have to hear what you have to say. I- I- I’ve read the history books, Phil. I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil. But, look what you’ve done. How can you look at this and still see yourself as a hero. Sending a message, Phil. Sending a message?” - (17:58)

So, that’s a big quote, and every single part of it is so important.

His repetition shows his struggle with his emotions. But he makes the point again that he’s read the history books (no one else, but that’s a separate thing entirely). He knows what Phil did, hell! He remembers it! He sees Alivebur’s death as a good thing, and the parallel to him being a dragon and Phil being St George, where do I even start with that???

Because dragons in legends hoard things, right? So you could see Alivebur’s hoard as L’Manberg itself, that’s his gold. And Phil is the hero for slaying the dragon who wanted to keep L’Manberg from anyone else (which shows how Ghostbur doesn’t remember Alivebur’s final motivations for blowing it up).

But Ghostbur understands, he’s telling Phil that everyone understands why he killed Alivebur, only to point out that the destruction of L’Manberg removes the title of hero from him. He can’t be a hero when he caused so much destruction. (At least Alivebur knew he was the bad guy. Phil and Techno think they’re in the right, that they’re heroes.)

He specifically calls out Phil’s wording of sending a message. Ghostbur can’t understand that, because it doesn’t make sense. Sending a message. I get the implication of what Ghostbur is suggesting, that sending a message makes Phil the villain, makes him as bad, if not worse than Alivebur.

At least Alivebur had cause! Sending a message is pure evil, through and through. (but that’s just my opinion :P)

“So you make me suffer? I- I don’t know what Alivebur did, and I’m really trying to remember. But I know what I did, and I just wrote books. I built- Remember the lanterns we used to make? I built them. I- I built a house for people- I- I set up this area- I built this town just like I built Logstedshire, and I watched them both blow up. And I didn’t- I- I didn’t- I didn’t hurt anyone, and yet I’m the one who pays. Tommy didn’t even live here, Tommy didn’t have a house here. I sowed the seeds of peace, and yet I’m the one who pays for war.”  - (18:47)

I picked out this screenshot specifically because he’s making this expression as he talks about the lanterns, the anguish in his expression, the way he’s looking out at L’Manberg, head slightly tilted up towards the lanterns. It shows how Ghostbur holds onto the good memories, but he feels the deep sadness of building up L’Manberg again, making it look nice, houses, the main area, he built that town more than anyone else, gave it a personality, only to lose it.

And he feels that, as well as the pain of losing Logstedshire. He makes the point that he hasn’t hurt anyone. And he hasn’t. Not physically anyway, the only damage he’s done as Ghostbur is the pain others feel knowing he doesn’t remember the bad. 

And this line, this 30 second line, it shows so much. It shows how Ghostbur still feels how Tommy never even lived in L’Manberg (I know he had that house under Ranboo’s but he never really lived there like the others). It shows that Ghostbur feels like he’s paying the most because he built it, because he lived there, because he had the history books, because.... “Everything for L’Manberg. For L’Manberg, my L’Manberg.” (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends :): 1:46:29, 24th Nov) 

And he’s right, he set up peace. He called out Tubbo, he made sure to remind him of the values. He made his point to Phil that L’Manberg wasn’t doing things right. He made the same point to Ranboo. He tried. He read the history books, he kept telling people! But they didn’t listen, and in the end... he paid for it the most because he thought he had done enough, but it’s not enough. With L’Manberg it never is... was, I suppose.

“I know I’m forgetful, I know I’m an amnesiac, and I know I’m the comic relief in all of your stories, but I still feel this, I still feel things. And I try my best to make sure no one else feels it... And I just.” - (19:32)

This is Ghostbur’s turning point for the quote that comes after this.

You know what all of this is? All these quotes, Ghostbur making someone listen to HIM for once. All people have done since Ghostbur has been around is shout at him, belittle him, treat him like he’s stupid, patronise him, go against all of his wishes. Finally, this talk with Phil allowed him to take control again and speak his own mind without being beat down, he was loud, not quiet, he even banged his fist, something Alivebur did a lot.

He had his fire.

But this line... He’s calling people out, calling them all out. He knows he’s forgetful, an amnesiac, the comic relief in their stories (is that why he’s inserting himself back in the narrative? to put himself back in, to take control of his story again?)

And he makes the point that he feels this, he still feels things! And why would he make this point? For what I said above. He’s only ever been beaten down by others, or patronised. He’s reminding Phil that he’s still very much a being that can feel, he isn’t devoid of emotion, in fact he’s full of ‘em. All the emotions, especially sadness.

You can see it in his expressions too, the way he puts his head in his hands, the way he covers his mouth. He’s full of pain.

His goal though is to make sure no one else feels what he does - the sadness - which makes sense to why he hands out Blue like it’s gone out of fashion. It may be his unhealthy coping mechanism for his depression, but he’s trying his best. He just wants people to be happy.

But, as I said, this is his turning point. He hangs up on Phil and thinks for a moment, in complete silence, nothing but the sounds of the surviving campfires in the apiary to keep him company. He realises that Alivebur needs to come back, he knows that in being forgetful, he isn’t helping people like he wants to.

He knows as Ghostbur he can never make any progress (especially since he forgot the entire conversation with Phil). 

And so...

“I take it back, Tommy. Tommy, I take it back. I’m burning in the rain right now, and I just- Tommy, I want you to bring me back to life.” - (20:07)

“Tommy, I know- I know I said- Tommy, I know how I said I didn’t want- I didn’t want to be brought back to life because I didn’t want to- Because that would mean me as Ghostbur would stop existing. But I want- I want you to bring me back to life. I don’t want to be Ghostbur anymore.” - (22:12)

These quotes are so important. They show how Ghostbur’s mind has changed from:

“Hey, Tommy, I was having a think about it, and I don’t think I want people to bring me back to life.” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 47:38, 19th Dec) 

“If I am given a life, does that mean I die? Like Ghostbur dies? And Alivebur is alive but Ghostbur is dead.” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 48:11, 19th Dec) 

To now wanting to be resurrected. He’s made peace with the fact that he must die for Alivebur to exist again (which is sus, like this poor depressed boyyyy). But he’s doing it for noble reasons, it seems, not uh.... not other reasons, I don’t think. He wants Alivebur to exist because Ghostbur can’t help as much as his alive self could.

And hell, maybe he’d be able to make up for his mistakes.

Overall, his conversation with Phil shows many things. Mainly, that Ghostbur saw what he was doing in L’Manberg as sowing peace, that he relates his love for Friend to people’s belongings, that this is his turning point in how he sees himself (and how he can’t stay dead), and that it’s him putting himself back in the narrative.

This one conversation had so much to tell, and I’m sure I could analyse it further but this is far too long (1.8k words). So, if you made it this far, thank you for reading <3

[imma-potatoo]

Quest For A Smile

A Christmas Oneshot for my Blond Janus AU!

Summery: Janus has never gotton a chance to celebrate Christmas before. The others fully intend to change this fact as well as making the side smile.

Huge special thanks to @superwholockandpfl and @mother-snake for making my year amazing and pushing me to improve my writing! You two are absolutely amazing and I can't express enough gratitude 💛💙💚

Words: 5,196

Janus sighed heavily as he walked in the front door. Blond curls a complete and total mess, coated with sweat and a slight tinge of blood. As the door shut behind him he leaned against it with a groan and an unpleasant look on his face. Wrath was angry again, he managed to escape before any real harm could be inflicted but Janus still breathed in deep and held it for multiple seconds to calm his nerves. Soon his lungs cleared and he could breathe easy once more. Something smelled off this time though, the lightsides home typically smelled of fresh chocolate and golden brown cookies, of the forest and the thick mist of lakes, of crofters and handbound books. But this time it was different…

 The air was filled with the smell of gingerbread, a hint of fresh pine and peppermint. Glitter seemed to be permanently soaked into the carpet. The air was warm and filled with the scent of sugar with sweetened honey and nutmeg. Soft sounds of cheerful music filled the house as laughs filed in from the living room.

Janus pushed himself away from the door, locking it securely, before walking into the living room. He was swaying back and forth a bit, but that was nothing compared to the pure dose of pure confusion when he saw the other sides. 

Absolutely hideous sweaters, fur-trimmed red hats with a cotton ball on the end, an ear-to-ear smile, and slightly thicker pants, it was on every side. Janus wasn’t used to this. He was used to the normal wear of the others, even the twins dressed down. But Janus had definitely seen weirder things that day and just collapsed onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Attempting to avoid staining the couch with blood, but it was a fruitless effort as the wound hit the cushion directly.

The others stopped their laughter and exchanged a look of confusion with one another. Janus was very rarely happy when he came in the door, often sporting multitudes of injuries and grumbling swears under his breath as he raided the medical cabinet for the fifth time that week. The sides felt horrible after seeing every bandage and cut. Virgil walked up to the smaller side.

“Jannie?” muffled grumbles and obscurities came from the side on the couch, “come on baby snake. I gotta see your injuries” more mild swears escaped the younger's lips as he sat up with a scowl.

His scales were patchy, a few torn-out leaving empty, gaping, bloody holes in their stead. The blood was dried on his cheek; smelling so much like iron the others had to hold in their retching. A huge black eye was already forming on his right and his cheeks were soaked in painful tears. His outfit was a mess, his black dress shirt was torn in multiple places, revealing more oozing blood from underneath. Yellow suspenders hanging limply from his shoulders. On his left temple was a large gash, heavily and steadily leaking more of the bright crimson liquid. Janus looked sad and broken, his eyes were dull as he stared into Virgil's warm gray ones.

Virgil stared at his child in horror, every time that Janus had returned to the light side, he had this spark. This look in his eyes that compelled him to fight. That forced him to stand back up after every hit and strike. It was almost like a pull that required him to keep fighting. But even the strongest fighters can’t get back up occasionally. And Virgil could tell that Janus was falling, because of that spark that powered Janus’ every move.

It was gone.

The one thing that Virgil refused to do was let his baby fall. He had broken too many promises to break his entire purpose of being a father.

Virgil smiled, it was fake and too hard to pull off, but he gazed into Janus’ blue and yellow eyes anyway. “Come on, let's get you cleaned up,” Virgil held out his hand for Janus to take, watching as the smaller side extended his hand slowly and rested it in his palm. Virgil helped the yellow side stand shakily as he led him to the kitchen, extending the sides a look as he walked away.

When the duo got to the kitchen, Virgil picked up Janus like he weighed nothing -it wasn’t far off- and plopped him on the counter. “Stay right here, I’m going to go grab the medkit from the bathroom. Ok?” Virgil watched as Janus held himself tightly; watching as the side nodded slightly as his eyes were trained to the floor. Virgil felt his stomach churn as he walked away from the side and back to the group, the plastic smile melting away faster with every step only to be replaced with a heart of lead and eyes doused in concern.

Logan stopped Virgil on his mission for the medkit, “Is Janus adequate?” his lips twisting into a frown while Virgil shook his head as Patton interrupted, “what's wrong with our kiddo?” you could hear the heaviness in his voice. It was shaking as if it was afraid to know the answer. 

Virgil drew a deep breath as he looked at the sides, their eyes crawling with concern and nervousness. “The last time that he acted like this… it- it wasn’t good.” Virgil looked down at the ground, “When he was fifteen, Wrath and Depression did a number on him. And…. and he was bleeding out. Completely collapsed in the main hallway, and when-” Virgil’s voice had gone rough, closing up to prevent any noise from escaping. But he pushed through and continued speaking anyway, “When I found him I took him back to my room and started to patch him up. But- but he just stopped me and told me to let him go.” Virgil could feel the tears leaking down his cheeks as he continued the story, “I patched him up regardless but the week after-” he drew another breath slow and steady, calming down his nerves. “The week after, I found him lying in a pool of his own blood next to a note.” his own voice sounded choked, “I don’t know what's happening with Jan… but I’m not going to lose him because of a mistake I made years ago.” Virgil wiped away his tears as he started to walk away to get the medical kit.

“Virgil?”

Virgil turned to face Logan, “Do the darks celebrate Christmas?”

 Virgil shook his head, “no, holidays were seen as weakness. Especially Christmas…. I always tried to get him a gift though”

Logan nodded with a sour look on his face, expression bitter as he played with the trim of his Christmas sweater. Brows furrowed in thought as Virgil walked away. Logan's mind was whirring. Twisting and turning like the gears on a machine. Granted, Logan was always thinking. That was his sole function. To think and to problem solve. Logan has never been one to admit that he had emotions, he actively denied having any such thing, but he wouldn’t lie and say that he was unhappy. He had a loving family, a table with food that wasn’t green with mold, a safe warm bed where he could fall asleep without having to risk making it to morning. His life was far from perfect, but it was nowhere near Janus’. And ever since Virgil had told them where Janus was meant to be, a huge pit of guilt was starting to gnaw at his stomach. And that wouldn’t stand, it didn’t matter if Logan had to personally dispose of the dark sides himself. He was going to make Janus smile.

By the time that Virgil returned with the medkit and started to patch up Janus, Logan had discussed his plan with the rest of the family. The twins got to work crafting an early gift for the yellow side. Janus was way smaller than the rest of them, maybe 5’3” while Patton -who was the second shortest of the bunch- was 5’8”. The sides tried to make it fit the best as possible; without showing Janus of course. And eventually, the gift was all wrapped up in a neat bow and ribbon, waiting for the recipient.

When Virgil finished fixing up the smaller side, he took Janus’ hand and led him back to the living room where all the sides were waiting, all excitedly bouncing up and down. Virgil could feel Janus tense up as they sat on the couch, the younger side attempting to keep his thoughts in line and his breathing calm, repeating over and over that he was safe and that they wouldn’t hurt him.

 They would never hurt him, this is the light sides, they’re good people, hitting someone makes you a bad person; right? But, there are always exceptions to the rules, if someone is hurting a bad person to protect a good person does that mean that the abuser is good? Janus’ leg was bouncing repeatedly, his eyes growing hazy. Breathing grew faster and faster as the thoughts turned even more toxic, repeating a horrible mantra of hate and disgust for the side’s own skin. After all, if everything’s supposed to happen for a reason, why did he hurt every day? Good people get rewarded, bad people are punished. So if he’s getting punished every day, wouldn’t that make him bad? What did he ever, ever do to get this kind of treatment? This isn’t fair, why couldn’t it be fair? What did he do? How many bruises could make up for whatever heinous crime he’d committed? He’s tired, he’s just so tired, is it so much for him to ask for him to just sleep fore-

“-Seven, eight. Come on buddy! You here?” Janus was broken from the toxic mantra with the lights grabbing his hand. Bringing him back to reality. He nodded, sucking in a large breath. He didn’t even notice that he was spacing out, blocking out all of his surroundings. Drawing one more breath he looked back up at the light sides. Finding faces full of concern and worry. Doubtful glances at one another when Janus said that he was fine.

Janus looked up at the others, “what did you guys need?” his voice was slightly shaky as he touched his bandaged temple, flinching back his hand after it stung horribly.

“Um, hi kiddo!” Patton could barely meet his eyes, “how ya feeling?” Janus shrugged, his eyes training back to the ground, “We um, got you a present!”

Janus’ eyes snapped back up, “What?”

The others exchanged a look, “Yeah, Jannie, it's a Christmas Gift.” Janus looked confused as he blinked repeatedly in complete wonderment “you….. have gotten a gift before right?”

Janus nodded, “well, I have. But the others always got rid of them.” and that was the exact second that the mood died.

Roman  was confused, “What do you mean they ‘got rid of them’ snakes n ladders?”

Janus looked a little puzzled, “Well, Vee would get me a gift, I would get to play with it for a while and then they would find out and burn it.” Janus hesitantly turned his gaze to the others, finding looks of horror, anger, and tears leaking down their faces, “I take it that it's not supposed to be like that?”

Patton has his hand clasped over his mouth as thick globs of tears leaked down his cheeks. Shaking his head repeatedly, “No- no, kiddo! The presents you get are supposed to stay with you! And you’re supposed to keep them! And love them! And they’re supposed to be precious memories, not ashes in the fireplace!”

Janus looked back to the floor, his eyebrows furrowed in thought and confusion, “oh”  

Roman patted the father figment on the back as he wiped his tears. He grabbed a large yellow package from the coffee table and placed it lightly in the younger sides lap.

Janus reached out his hand tentatively, lightly stroking the black glittery ribbon that wrapped the yellow paper. The paper was covered in small snakes winding up various Christmassy items like trees and ornaments. Janus felt a stinging sensation come to his eyes as his voice felt stuck in his throat. “F-for me?” questioning eyes met the others. He looked back down to the gift once he got confirmation through various modes of agreement.

With the security of the smiles and encouragement of the lightsides, Janus grabbed the ribbon and pulled. It fell away as Janus ripped the yellow paper carefully. His fingers shook slightly as he opened the box, his eyes widened as he completely lost his ability to speak.

Inside of the box was a sweater. It was plush and a vibrant yellow. The wool was as soft as a cloud with ornaments, candy canes, and swirls and dots filled in the gaps as the pattern. It was a standard Christmas sweater,  but it was clear by the hiccuping tears streaming down the side’s face, that it meant a lot to him.

Bringing his hand to his mouth to muffle the sobs, he pulled the sweater out of the box and pulled it close to his chest. A small note falling to his lap.

The others watched as Janus shakily picked up the note and as the tears leaked down faster as he read on.

‘Janus, we know that this gift cannot make up for all the missed Christmases. But, you deserve to have a happy day. Will you spend the day with us? ~Logan, Roman, Patton, Virgil, and Remus’

Janus looked up at the others with a shocked face, his mouth gaped open in shock, eyes wide as hope filled his irises once more. The sweater was pulled close to his chest, doubtful -but hopeful- eyes flicked back and forth between the five of them, “y-you mean it?”

Virgil rushed to his child, sitting quickly but not too roughly as to startle him. “Janus, look at me.” The yellow side raised his eyes to meet his, the grip tightening on the sweater, “I’m not going to take your gift, my hatchling.” Virgil breathed deep as the side lightened his grip ever so slightly, “you shouldn’t have to worry about anything that you currently do. And, my adorable hatchling, we would never do anything that could make your life even harder.” Virgil slowly reached for Janus’ hands, “now, do you want to have a real Christmas?”

The others held their breath as seemingly millions of different emotions flashed on the smaller side’s face, their eyes flickering nervously before Janus pulled his hands away from Virgil and they felt their hearts sink like a ball of lead.

The others watched with tear-filled eyes while Janus pulled the sweater over his head. The side looked up at them with wide hopeful eyes, “please?”

--------

Sooner than Janus could blink, he was bundled like he was going to Antarctica, and they were trudging outside towards an evergreen forest.

Janus walked beside Virgil, a beanie covering his blond locks while Virgil let his jet black hair blow freely in the crisp winter wind. The snow crunched beneath their feet as they followed the twins. Virgil humming a small tune that Janus thought was a Christmas carol. Oversized mittens covered the half-snakes hands, keeping them very warm and content; as well as a matching yellow scarf. but truth be told, Janus had absolutely no clue about Christmas.

The sides stopped at the forest; Janus, Logan, and Virgil watched the other three run wild in the evergreens. Janus stood there puzzled as Remus climbed one of the trees to get a better view of the land, Janus turned to Virgil, “Hey dad?” Virgil looked down at the side, Janus’ eyes were wide like a doe’s, his face was questioning.

“Yeah, Jan?”

Janus played with the ends of his mittens, “Why are we here?” his eyes stayed calm for a second before dissolving into pure panic, “not that I’m not happy to be here! I just don’t get why we went to an evergreen forest to celebrate Christmas……”

Virgil blanked out for a second, then it clicked. Janus didn’t understand Christmas… and Virgil was determined to change that fact.

Virgil let out a small smile, “Come sit down, I’ll tell you,” Virgil led the smaller side to a fallen log, sitting down and waiting for Janus to do the same. Virgil went to open his mouth when Janus sat next to him with curious eyes, only to pause and take a deep breath, “LOGAN!!!”

Logan raised an eyebrow at Virgil, before sighing and walking to the pair -shoving a bookmark in his book while he was at it. He stopped before the purple side, “Yes Virgil?”

Virgil rubbed his eyes with his hand, “L, can you tell Jan why we put a pine tree inside for Christmas? I don’t know how to explain this…”

Logan perked up slightly, “Of course! I’ll be happy to explain!” he sat down on the other side of Janus. “Christmas trees were originally from Germany. Specifically, it was developed in medieval Livonia -present-day Estonia and Latvia- and early modern Germany where German protestant christens brought decorated evergreens into their homes. However, in ancient Egypt, during the winter solace, the Egyptians would fill their homes with palm leaves. And, the early Romans celebrated Saturnalia, in honor of Saturn; god of agriculture and they decorated their homes and temples with evergreen boughs. But that's not even mentioning the celts!” Logan beamed as Janus listening intently, the yellow side seemed to be absorbing every once of information that Logan provided. Logan relaxed comfortably on the fallen tree, telling Janus the reason they put ornaments on the tree as the side stared at him with sparkling eyes.

The two left-brain sides talked all the way back to the house, the tree in hand, Janus occasionally prompting more questions from the blue side and the said side happily answering them. Virgil let loose a small grin as he saw Janus happily talking and asking questions about evergreens

The sides got back to the house and the twins started to trim and set up the tree.

Janus and Logan sat on the couch to continue their discussion on why all of Santa’s Reindeer were actually female when Patton called for Janus from the kitchen. Janus looked at Logan with a fond expression, but no smile…

Janus stood up and walked past Virgil and Remus arguing over a gingerbread cookie, apparently, it was different from the other cookies…. Janus didn’t get it, he walked carefully into the kitchen where Patton was leaning over the counter with a small hum under his breath.

“You called Patton?” Janus played with the end of his Christmas sweater, he kept the black beanie too. Patton turned around with a bright grin

“Hiya kiddo!” Patton was wearing a blue apron reading ‘give the cook a puppy!’ with a spatula and a smear of frosting on his cheek. “Wanna help me decorate a gingerbread house?!” Patton watched as different emotions flickered over the younger's face, he looked at the father figment with a look of pure confusion.

“But, can’t you just eat the candies how they are? I thought that no one ate the gingerbread anyway, so isn’t that kinda a waste?” Janus’ looked at the candy by the undecorated house, the house was already assembled to prevent any anger and frustration, Janus turned back to Patton when he heard the side giggle.

Patton rocked back and forth on his heels, hands covered in flour and sugar which were tied up in the strings of his apron, a small grin on his lips as he made eye contact with Janus. “I mean… I guess you could just eat the candy…. But decorating it is half the fun! Besides! Remus and Logan love gingerbread! Plus I made it from scratch, so it’ll taste good!” Patton turned back to the counter and started rustling in the baking ingredients before grabbing something with a squeal and turning back to Janus. He held out his hand to the smaller side, offering the cookie.

Janus looked at the cyan side and hesitantly raised his own hand shakily to take the sweet. Patton was patient as his brain screamed danger and he has to fight to keep himself calm, keeping the cookie exactly where it was with a calm smile and relaxed eyes. Though Janus could tell that there was some underlying nervousness, maybe it was because his grip on the cookie was a little too tight, or because he could sense how afraid the others were of upsetting him, or maybe it was because the tension in the air was never gone when he was around. They didn’t want to make him upset. Janus didn’t know how to feel about that information.

Janus grabbed the cookie and brought it to his lips, trying to ignore the urge to not eat anything that another person gave him, and he took a bite. Nutmeg and ginger filled his senses, the cookie was sweet but slightly dry as it crumbled in his mouth as he continued to chew. The next bite, he bit into some chocolate which brought his senses over the moon. It was soft as his teeth repeatedly sank into the brown shape. He looked up at the father figment with wide sparkling eyes, “what kind of cookie was that?!”

Patton chuckled as Janus continuously went back for more bites of the cookie, “That was a gingerbread man kiddio! Homemade too!” Janus seemed to be zoned out as Patton laughed slightly under his breath. “I’ll take it that you’re helping me decorate?” the same happy grin only grew as Janus nodded his head vigorously.

Janus and Patton decorated the gingerbread house with every single candy they could fit on to the tiny baked good. Frosting smothered every inch and candy was thrown around like snow in a storm. Patton giggled as he saw Janus occasionally sneak  a few candies, “come on kiddo! Don’t eat all the candy! We gotta use some on the house!” Patton could pinpoint the exact second that Janus’ expression fell, he was so close to getting him to smile only for him to ruin it with a silly comment. “Oh! No! No no no no! Kiddo, it's ok! Here, I can get you your own bowl of candy!” Patton walked away from the counter with a heavy heart.

He had been so close to getting Janus to smile! It was right there! He could see Janus’ lips start to turn into a weavering smile and he just had to make that comment, Patton walked over to Virgil under the guise of grabbing some candy from the bowl in the living room.

He started filling the small bowl with candy, “hey, Kiddo?” Virgil hummed in response, scrolling through his phone, “has Janus ever had any sweets before?” that stopped Virgil in his tracks, he turned off his phone and looked Patton directly in the eyes.

“Patton, you do know what you’re asking me right?” Virgil kept his eyes trained on the cyan side as he nodded. Virgil rubbed his temple and sighed, “the others… are big on control. Wrath will force you to do something you regret and hold it over your head for years…. Anyway, one of the ways that Wrath,” Virgil felt an involuntary shiver run down his spine, “controls you, is by having complete power over the food supply. And sweets were not something that was handed out. Oftentimes we got stuck with some rotten excuse for food while the other three ate like kings” Virgil leaned to the back of the couch, his phone by his side, “Janus only got sweets when I managed to sneak them in.” Patton saw Virgil take large slow calming breaths, even and slow. “Now, popstar, what did you say to my kid?”

Patton took a deep breath, his chest was shaking, Virgil was known to be quite protective of the smaller side, “I didn’t mean to kiddo! He kept sneaking little pieces of candy and I told him to save some for the gingerbread house. I didn’t mean to make him upset!” Virgil sighed audibly, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“Take some of the charamals, I think he’ll like them.” Virgil’s voice was low, clearly quite tired. He analyzed the light blue side carefully. “Patton, I’m not angry. Just try to be a little more careful with how you phrase things.” Patton nodded, pulling the candy bowl close to his chest. His glum expression disappears in the matter of seconds. The brilliant grin back on his lips with full force.

“Thanks kiddo! Your dear old dad-” “Patton, I’m older than you.” “your dear old dad needed some pointers!” Patton walked away with a pit of lead in his stomach, his dark kiddos had suffered for so long and they could barely do anything for Janus due to the rules of the mind.

In order for a side to switch their part of the mind, they need “permission” from a side from their current place of residence and everyone in their future residence. Janus had everyone’s acceptance from the lightside, but the darks refusing to let him go. Janus was the side to give Remus and Virgil permission and now the poor side is stuck because there is no way the darks are going to give up their leverage. Everyone on the lightside feels absolutely horrible.

It feels like a vicious cycle. Janus goes to the darkside, he gets hurt, he goes to the lightside to heal up and get some food, he stays for maybe a day (if he’s luckily) before he has to return to his room in the dark, only for the cycle to repeat over and over and over. Everyone knew Janus was falling, they just didn’t have the guts to say it.

Patton walked back into the kitchen with the bowl of candy. He hid the bowl behind his back, walking slowly to not startle the smaller side. Janus was barely up to his ear, wild blond curls stuck out every way they could manage, Janus turned and Patton got a better look at the shiny eyes that belonged to the younger side. His right eye was a light baby blue with speckles of green and gold. It reminded Patton of the glimmering galaxies that Logan often showed him, or of the rising and falling tides that were deadly but so serene. The other eye was a bright contrasting gold, it was rich in colour and metallic like a coin in a sunken chest. The pupil of the golden eye was slim like a snake, it was constantly flickering around the room -although Patton didn’t know if that was his snake instincts or a habit formed from years of planning desperate escapes.

“Hey kiddo! I got you something!” Janus looked a little confused, he normally didn’t get a single gift, more than one was almost unheard of, but he raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner nonetheless. “Hold your hands!” Janus followed his instructions slowly. Validity Deceit isn’t one to trust people blindly. Janus watched Patton closely as he pulled something from behind his back and set it in his hands. Janus felt his eyes widen

In his hands sat a bowl overflowing with sweets. Janus couldn’t form words as he kept staring at the bowl, chocolates to charamals to hard candy. Janus couldn’t get any words to form as he just kept staring at the bowl. He felt small pinpricks of tears spring to his eyes but managed to hold them in. Janus looked back up at Patton with joyful eyes.

“Thank you” his voice breathless

----

The freshly decorated gingerbread house sat on the coffee table, hot chocolate was pressed into the hands of the sides as they prepared to watch a christmas movie. The air was warm with the fireplace glowing burning flames. Janus stared into the dancing embers, entranced by the red blaze. It was so warm and comforting, it felt almost like a warm hug. But the flames also reminded him of Apathy and his lighter. That thought alone sent a shiver down his spine as the others argued over the movie

“The Muppets Christmas Carol!”

“The Grinch!”

“Noelle is an empowering movie for women.”

“Home Alone!”

“The Nightmare before Christmas!”

Janus hummed along to the radio that was playing in the meantime, the warm chocolatey drink was sweet. He didn’t know the words for the songs but he still enjoyed the songs regardless.

“Remus, we are not making Janus’ first christmas movie a horror film!” Roman was starting to get a little irritated with his twin. His quips were starting to get a little more bite than bark, the tension was starting to raise like it always did on their movie nights

“Well why not?! Come on Abel! Tell dear old Cain why we can’t watch a perfectly fine movie! Or is that stick up your butt shoved too far!?” Remus was just as mocking as the others stood on the sidelines. This was typical of the twins, they would settle down eventually and they could pick a movie.

Janus sitting in between Virgil and Logan, his head lolled to the side; resting on Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil in turn, had his arm resting over his shoulder in a comforting manner.

Logan leaned against the back cushions, coffee in one hand, “actually, Cain was the older sibling so Remus comparing himself to Cain would be incorrect because he’s youn-”

“SHUT UP NERD!!!!” the twins both screamed at the same time, the house shaking at the pure volume for the yell. The very second the yell sounded, Janus flinched and Virgil pulled the yellow side onto his lap, wrapping both arms around him in a protective grip. 

The purple side growled lowly, “you two are going to calm down NOW. I’m not going to tolerate this today.” The red and green sides squeaked slightly at Virgil’s tempest tone, it wasn’t brought out often but when it was, it definitely got the others to listen. Virgil took a breath, calming his voice. “We’re watching Logan’s pick.” Janus had accepted his fate as a snuggle buddy, besides, he felt safe anyway.

The group was quiet, each side having their own questions in their mind. “Why Logans? Noelle isn’t normally on the watch list?” Roman huffed as he threw himself on the newly constructed pillow throne, he was just as dramatic as Juliet when she stabbed her own heart.

Virgil shrugged as he slightly loosened his grip on Janus, “Happy ending, good message, it's funny, and it has a great message of female empowerment.” The sides all snuggled into their chairs as Remus brought up the movie.

The fire was warm. Snow was falling gracefully out the window. The hot chocolate was steaming as marshmallows floated like little islands. The sides were calm, no injuries to tend or having to hide, only the calm steady breathing of the six as Santa walked on screen.

And Janus let out a small smile.

-------

Taglist:

@writerstrashbin , @psychedelicships , @cryptidwriterdotcom (ask to be removed or added)

@girl-with-many-fandoms @fortunatelyimperfect @idkanameatall

Merry Christmas my friends. I hope you enjoy this late Christmas present. ❤️💛💚💙💜💖

Blond Janus AU masterpost

[introvertguide]

Pulp Fiction (1994); AFI #94

The most recent movie for review was the Quentin Tarantino crime thriller comedy (probably more things) Pulp Fiction (1994). It is a very complicated story that is told out of chronological order and focuses on scenes of meaningful character interaction. This confusion meant it lost out to movies with a more straight forward time line at the Oscars, since the move was nominated for seven awards but only took home one. The single win for best screenplay was well deserved and I still believe it is one of the most creatively written films of all time. I want to go over the plot to show what I mean, but let me do my standard due diligence:

SPOILER WARNING!!! I AM ABOUT TO GIVE THE BASIC DETAILS OF ONE OF THE MOST COMPLEX STORY LINES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!! IT WILL NOT LIKELY SPOIL MUCH OF ANYTHING, BUT I AM STICKING THIS WARNING ON JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY FINDS SOMETHING!!!

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The film begins with what is pretty much a prologue but what turns out to be about the middle of the film chronologically. A couple is at a diner and they are talking about robbing banks. They only refer to each other as Pumpkin (Tim Roth) and Honey Bunny (Amanda Plummer). They discuss the best kind of places to rob and they decide that a diner would be a good change of pace. Impulsively, they pull out guns and hold up the diner and...title card with awesome spaghetti western music!

Two hitmen are talking about Europe as they go to do a job. Vincent Vega (Jon Travolta) talks about his adventures with Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) as they pull up at an Los Angeles apartment complex. The two discuss their boss Marsellus Wallace and how touchy he is about his wife. The boss has apparently sent them to get something from a bunch of guys. Jules and Vincent call on an apartment with 3 college age men and intimidate them into giving over a briefcase with something glowing inside. The case is what they came for, so the hitmen take it and kill two of the men at the apartment...

Flash to a new scene in which Vincent is going to get some drugs from his dealer (Eric Stoltz). Vincent is a heroine user despite cocaine being the popular drug. It turns out Vincent was asked by his boss to take out his wife...the one he is very protective of. He just needs to hang out with her so she is not bored and not get into trouble. To accomplish this, he shoots up some heroine and goes to meet the wife named Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman). They seem to get along and he drives her to a restaurant called Jack Rabbit Slims. The place is fantastic, all the waiters are dressed up like American movie icons and the booths are repurposed cars from the 50s (if this place actually existed, you can be sure I would search it out and go there at least once). The two bond over dinner and then volunteer for a twist dance contest.

Mia and Vincent go back to her house and Vincent goes to the restroom to talk himself out of trying to score with Mia. She is pretty cool, but not worth dying for. While he is away, Mia finds some heroine in the pocket of Vincent’s jacket and thinks it is cocaine. She snorts it and immediately starts to overdose. Vincent panics and decides to drive her to the dealer’s house. The dealer has a nurse kit that comes with a giant needle full of adrenaline which Vincent stabs her with. She wakes up and Vincent takes her back home and is glad that he will live another day...

We jump to a flashback of a young boy who is has lost his father in Vietnam. An officer is visiting that has a gift. Apparently, there is a family watch that belonged to the boys great grandfather and had been passed down through the generations. His father had it when he was captured and gave it to the officer before the father died in the POW camp. The officer escaped and found the boy to give him the watch...

A boxer named Butch (Bruce Willis) wakes up from a dream. He is the boy all grown up. He is about to throw a fight for Marsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames), the same boss that everyone is afraid of. Butch does not throw the fight and accidently kills the other boxer. It turns out that he bet on himself and now he needs to get out of town before Marsellus Wallace catches him. He goes to a hotel where his rather dumb girlfriend is waiting for him. They go to bed and then are about to leave the next morning when it turns out that she forgot his watch. Butch freaks out and goes back to their old apartment to get the watch (note the very long take following Bruce Willis as he takes a back way to get to the apartment). Vincent is there waiting for him, but Vincent is in the bathroom and Butch is able to get a gun and kill Vincent as he is coming out of the bathroom. Things seem good so Butch drives off...

As Butch drives home, he sees Marsellus crossing the street in front of him so Butch hits the gas and runs down the boss but also hits an oncoming car. Both men are injured but Marsellus gains his senses and chases Butch into a shop where both are captured by a weird redneck with a shotgun. Butch and Marsellus are tied up in the basement of the shop and a man named Zed shows up. The shop owner has a gimp in a box (all leathered up and everything) and other fetish things downstairs. After a quick game to pick who goes first, they take Marcellus into another room to rape him. Butch manages to escape and is running away...but he decides can’t leave somebody to be assaulted like that. He grabs a weapon from the shop and kills the shop owner and frees Marsellus from Zed. Marsellus is not happy and says he will go “medieval” on Zed and allows Butch to leave town. Butch collects his girlfriend and leaves immediately...

Flash back in time (we know this because Vincent is alive) to right after Vincent and Jules shoot the guys with the case. Another guy in the other room jumps out and unloads six rounds at the two and misses every shot. The hitman kill that man, but Jules is shaken and decides to give up the business. They take a fourth gut with them in the car to go back to see Marsellus. On the drive over, Vincent accidently shoots the passenger while going over a pothole. The inside of the car is absolutely covered in blood and brains, so the two have to find a safe house. They go to the home of Jimmie (Quentin Tarantino) who will help them but says they have to get out in a couple of hours before his wife gets home. They call Marsellus, who sends over a cleaner named Wolf (Harvey Keitel). They are able to get everything cleaned up in time and leave with the car and the body. Jules and Vincent have to change out of their bloody clothes and decide to take a cab out to a diner for some food before seeing Wallace.

The two are at a familiar looking diner discussing whether their survival was a miracle and whether Jules should quit. Vincent goes off to the bathroom and, while he is gone, Pumpkin and Honey Bunny from the beginning declare it a robbery and it is evident that we have circled in time back around to the beginning. The couple hold up the diner, but, when they get to Jules, he takes Pumpkin hostage and devises a plan for everybody to leave. Jules allows the couple to leave alive with all the wallets, then the two hitmen follow quickly behind them before any police can show up.

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I put a spoiler warning at the top, but there is so much to this film that there is no way you could spoil everything. I find new things to enjoy about this movie each time that I watch it and the watch count has to be at least two dozen times at this point. This film is so rich with allusion and homage to movies of the past that you might never see everything. Tarantino is truly a lover of old films and he worked every reference he could into this film. This is truly like candy for a cinephile. 

I have, however, had a love hate relationship with this movie: I love this movie and I hate it when people tell me it is too violent. There was a lot of negative response to the films toxic masculinity, romancing crime culture, incredible amount of swearing, drug use, extreme gun violence, and very adult themes. There is a very famous interview between Quentin Tarantino and Jan Wahl in which she accuses him of using excessive violence and he tells her it is because it is a lot of fun to watch. His stylistically gory violence stems from exploitation films of the past and there is an established audience that enjoys it. He makes his movies for himself and this group of people.

Kind of like the comedy of Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, and George Carlin, you have to wade through a sea of swearing to find the comedic banter. The things that Jules and Vincent say to each other are some of the funniest stuff I have ever heard, but you really have to pay attention. Their attempts to express their feelings while maintaining their hard exterior persona is ridiculous. This is probably why many people enjoy the scenes with Vincent and Mia: there is a lot more courtesy which reduces the tirade of cursing.

The violence is very very over the top, but it is no where near the level of gore that Tarantino has become known for over the years. I must admit that he likes his torture scenes and this film is no exception. I would like to note how clever the torture scene with Butch and Marsellus is because they are both tied up and facing camera so only the audience can see the mischief that is being prepared behind them. 

The soundtrack for the film is well worth mentioning as it also pays homage to 50s, 60s, and 70s exploitations films. There is a lot of silence in the film with sudden bursts of fast paced music that help with transitions. Most famous is the intro music after diner prologue, a surf rock classic by Dick Dale and The Del Tones called Misirlou. It is pure speed guitar riff along the lines of Wipeout and transitions the scene perfectly. Take a listen for yourself:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIU0RMV_II8

Maybe the biggest thing about this film and Tarantino in general is the inspiration of the slick gangster dialogue. There had been a push for more melodramatic dialogue or the complete absence of much talking. Tarantino added in this slick, fast moving comedic dialogue that is said over extreme violence and adult situations. Marsellus Wallace talks about having some crack heads torture a man to death immediately after being raped in a basement. The hitmen talk about appropriate manners while cleaning out brains from the back of a car. Jules talks about the meaning of the bible during a robbery. Everything seems out of place in the real world but perfectly acceptable in Tarantino’s world. This is probably why I have no problem with the violence in the film.

So should this film be on the AFI top 100? Absolutely. It is an homage to film history while simultaneously introducing a sub genre that mixes current dialogue and exploitation touches to grindhouse action. It is fascinating and fun. Would I recommend this movie? If you are old enough. I can’t emphasize enough how fun I find this film, but I cannot deny that it is filled with adult situations like drug usage followed by driving, secret dungeon rape, and cold blooded murder with no consequences. If you can differentiate between Tarantino’s world and the real world, then this is great. If you can’t, then maybe try something else with slick dialogue like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

[trixie-pixie]

every perfect summer's eating me alive (until you're gone)

Jan has never understood the feeling of love before, not until now, when she’s driving through the city streets with her best friend at 1 AM, singing along to Madonna’s discography that’s playing so loud she could feel rather than hear her voice breaking. Jackie wasn’t a singer by any means, but she’s always indulged the blonde- especially on late summer nights like this when they know they don’t have too many chances to do this again. The air outside is cool with the light breeze of a late August night, but inside the car, Jan feels nothing but warmth and pure love as the end of Madonna’s Like A Prayer faded out.

Jan lets out a giggle as the car suddenly became far too quiet for her liking. Jackie smiles at her in the mirror, not willing to take her eyes off the road but still giving her a look that makes warmth bloom in Jan’s chest, and not just from the slightly excessive amounts of alcohol she’s drunk at the party they’re on their way back from. Jackie had been happy, as always, to be a designated driver, so long as Jan had a good time and got home safe.

“I love this.” Jan says, matter-of-factly. “I love this so much. I love you so much. I just love being alive.”

Jackie chuckled at her best friends excited rambling. “I love you too, Janessa-” Jan could never control her smile when she heard that. “What’s going on in that pretty little head?”

Jan is silent for a moment, ignoring Jackie’s teasing tone. She’s feeling thoughtful (and more than a little bit drunk), and the question just tumbles out of her mouth.

“Do you think you’ll ever fall in love?”

Jackie laughs before realizing that Jan is stone cold serious. The blonde is looking at her like her answer could change the world, like it’s the only thing she’s ever needed or wanted.

She pauses to think for a moment, and Jan thinks that it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. Jackie’s dark brown curls are pulled back behind her head, but the stubborn ones continue to fall around her face, refusing to be brushed away. She’s wearing a hoodie over the short black dress she had worn to the party, and Jan envies her for being smart enough to remember one. Jackie looks warm, but it might just be because Jackie is warmth personified. From her smile, to her deep chuckle, to the way she can always warm up Jan’s perpetually cold hands, Jackie is warmth.

“I don’t know-” Jackie says quietly, and Jan is intrigued. “How should I?”

“What do you mean you don’t know? How could you not?” Jan shouts, as if Jackie’s answer is the craziest thing she’s ever heard.

“I don’t even think I know what love is supposed to feel like! I mean, I understand liking someone, but I’ve never fallen in love with someone- not real love, at least,” Jan nods along with Jackie’s words, absorbing them like they’re scripture. “What about you, Jannifer? Any plans to abandon me with the hunk of your dreams?”

Jan cackles at that. “God, I have no clue-” She admits. Jackie laughs along with her, and soon their giggles fill the car, louder than the now-forgotten music.

“How could you make fun of me for not knowing when you have the exact same answer! You’re such a hypocrite!” Jackie exclaims, and the girls burst into another fit of giggles, thankful that they’re at a red light because Jackie definitely wouldn’t have been able to pay attention to the road if they had been moving.

“I don’t know, I guess I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like either!” She laughs, but quickly her tone sobers. “I don’t know if it’s supposed to be like the movies- I’ve never looked at a boy and felt… like that. I’ve never had those butterflies for a boy. It just feels weird, honestly.”

“I feel that,” Jackie replies earnestly. “But it’ll come. Definitely for you, Jan, I mean, look at you. Anyone who wouldn’t date you is an idiot. But there’s a boy out there for you, I know it.”

“Yeah,” Jan replies, and that was that.

She feels unnerved at Jackie’s comment- was it that talking about the L-word made her nervous? Or was it the compliment that is making her feel awkward? Jan shakes it off- it’s most likely the alcohol in her system that’s making her feel off. She smiles as Jackie parked a few doors down from Jan’s house, making it easier for her to sneak back in after being out far later than she should be.

She thanks Jackie for the ride and hugs her tight across the console. Jackie stops her just as she’s about to shut the door.

“Wait, I have news,” Jackie sounded both nervous and excited, and Jan perks up at this, forgetting about her previous discomfort.

“Wait, what? Tell me! I need to hear!”

Jackie let out a nervous chuckle. “Well, uh, speaking of boys-” She started. “D��you know Cody? From school?”

Jan knows Cody- he’s a nice guy. A weird art kid with a mullet that could rival any 80’s boy band, but a nice guy nonetheless. They’ve never exchanged more than a few words, but he’s never been anything but kind. So why does Jan feel bile rising in her throat?

“Of course I know him- what about Cody?” She responds, attempting to hide the discomfort that is quickly returning. Her fists clench, trying to ignore the blood rushing in her ears.

“Well-” Jackie begins, trailing off.

“Well?” Jan pushes. She knows what’s coming- she knows what her best friend is about to say. She knows that her reaction has to be perfect, even if all she wants to do at the thought is cry. Why is she so upset?

“He asked me on a date-” Jackie blurts out, and Jan does everything in her power not to let her face fall. The cool summer air has turned frigid, and Jan feels freezing cold and suddenly sober.

“-I said yes!”

And that’s how Jan’s night ends with her puking on the neighbours lawn at 1 AM.

---

“Holy shit, Jan, are you okay?”

“I’m fine-” she hiccups. “Just had too much to drink. I’m sorry.”

Jackie looks worried- Jan almost never throws up from alcohol. Even when she gets absolutely wasted, Jan is usually the one to just sleep it off.

“Are you sure? You aren’t feeling extra tired or weak or anything?” Jackie lists off symptoms, and Jan reassures her.

“God, no, I promise I’m fine. Just nauseous- I’ll drink some water and sleep it off. I promise.”

Jackie’s expression softens, and she hugs Jan.

“Text me when you get home safe, yeah?” Jan confirms. Jackie nods into her shoulder.

“You’ll probably be passed out by then, but I will. Make sure you take care of yourself, alright? I love you.”

Jan feels immediately guilty at the expression- Jackie has told her she loves her a million times, but this time, her stomach sinks, and it definitely isn’t due to the alcohol. She simply nods and smiles, not being able to force a response out of her mouth. She gives the brunette one last squeeze before she goes and attempts to sneak back in her house without her parents noticing.

They don’t, of course. Jan learned from the best- the best being her three older brothers, who got caught enough times to teach their baby sister exactly what not to do. Jan was just as much of a troublemaker as the boys, maybe even more at times, but with a dazzling smile and her sweet mannerisms, she could get away with just about anything.

Jan sneaks into her room without incident, making sure to get herself a large glass of water on the way. She feels exhaustion rooting itself in her bones- nearly enough to neglect taking her makeup off before crawling into bed. Keyword being nearly- she may have had a long night, but Jan is not about to take it out on her skin.

She drags herself to the bathroom- her feet are aching from her uncomfortable heels and her head is pounding from her current state, but she makes it there. Right as she goes to grab her face cloth, her phone lights up with a flurry of messages from Jackie.

1:16 AM

Jackie 💜: made it home!!! get some sleep ily

Jackie 💜: i’ll call u after the date tmw

Jackie 💜: i’d get u to help me get ready before but ur gonna be sleeping til noon after drinking that much

Jackie 💜: wish me luck!!!! ilysm babyyyy

It’s at that moment that Jan bursts into tears.

She doesn’t know why she’s so angry at the thought of Jackie going out with Cody- it’s not like Jackie belongs to her. But in a way, she does. Jackie is hers. Jackie has been her best friend since middle school- she’s seen Jan through tears of pain and joy, she’s held Jan’s hands during pre-soccer game pep talks and pre-show encouragements. She’s held Jan close to her chest on some of her worst nights, and Jan has done the same for her. The thought of her best friend in someone else’s arms is almost too much to handle, and Jan sinks to the floor. Jackie is hers- not some stupid boy’s from English class.

Every time she thinks about stupid Cody and his stupid smile, it feels like another knife wound to her heart. She just wants to crawl into bed and be alone- not alone. She wants to be with Jackie. Jackie, the only person able to talk Jan down from her drunken meltdowns. Jackie, who is the only person that Jan would want to talk to about this, and is the only person she can’t.

Jackie. Her Jackie.

Jan falls asleep that night wearing a hoodie stolen from a certain brunette and with tear stains on her pillowcase.

[emy-loves-you]

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 10

Protective Snek meets Tired Boi (With Flowers!)

Chapter 9 | Masterlist | Chapter 11

Warnings: crying, mentions of sex, mentions of lying and mistrust

(Jan 2nd)

V- (10:20 AM) Hey Pat, what do you want for your birthday?

P- (10:21 AM) I don’t need anything big, Kiddo. Just another drawing from you would be amazing :)

V- (10:21 AM) Is there nothing that you would be happy with me buying you?

P- (10:22 AM) Well, I like flowers!

L- (10:22 AM) No you don’t. None of us have gardening skills and you cry every time they wilt.

P- (10:22 AM) I still like them! We’ll just have to try harder this time!

Virgil thought for a few minutes before smirking. He exited the chat and opened up a chat with Janus and Remus.

V- (10:23 AM) Do either of you have the staff contacts from that charity event 2 months ago?

J- (10:23 AM) Perhaps

Re- (10:23 AM) Y the hell do you want them?

V- (10:24 AM) Do you remember the flowers that they were selling? I want to contact whoever they bought them from.

J- (10:24 AM) You mean like the one that Remus bought for me?

V- (10:25 AM) Yes, but less obscene colors.

Re- (10:25 AM) Wait let me guess

Re- (10:26 AM) “Princey’s” birthday was in July and “Lo” doesn’t seem like the flower type, so this is for “Pat,” isn’t it?

V- (10:26 AM) Do you have the fucking contact or not?

J- (10:27 AM) Even better. I have the address

V- (10:27 AM) Why the fuck do you have the address?

J- (10:27 AM) Remus TOTALLY didn’t break the original flower as soon as we got home.

Re- (10:28 AM) HEY! I tripped on YOUR stupid rug and it happened to end up crushed underneath me!

J- (10:28 AM) LEAVE THE RUG OUT OF THIS!

Virgil chuckled, eventually breaking up their argument so he could get the phone number and address. Once he had it, he called the shop and ordered a custom-made bouquet. They told him that it would be ready for pick-up in 2 weeks. He turned back to his crush’s chat.

V- (10:29 AM) Just finished ordering your gift.

P- (10:29 AM) What is it?!

V- (10:30 AM) It’s a surprise! Oh, and do you still have the vase that your chocolate bouquet was in?

P- (10:30 AM) Yeah, why?

V- (10:30 AM) You may wanna have it empty on your birthday :)

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(January 16th)

“So, where are we going?” Remus asked, chugging the rest of his Pepsi.

“To get Virgil’s flowers, darling. We’ve been over this.” Janus replied, adjusting his rearview mirror. Virgil laid in the back, fast asleep. Janus sighed. Virgil never got enough sleep, in his opinion. It was difficult to get Virgil fully asleep by 4 AM, and even then he was usually awake by 9 AM. Ever since he met his new “crushes,” Virgil had been getting better with his sleeping habits ( “Lo’s been trying to rope me into their sleeping schedule,” Virgil had admitted with a blush ); but he still didn’t sleep enough, in Janus’ humble opinion.

Speaking of crushes, Janus focused his eyes on the empty road as he thought about the three men who had stolen his best friend's heart. Pat, Lo, and Princey, Virgil called them. Not much to work with in terms of name, and no physical characteristics either. Janus was halfway convinced to stalk them (he knew where they lived, after all) but the thought of Virgil hating him for it shut up those thoughts immediately. Virgil already dealt with a ton of Janus bullshit without complaint, the least he could do is honor Virgil’s wish to keep his crushes anonymous. Even though Janus had no physical description to work off of, Virgil's offhand comments were enough for Janus to paint a decent picture of them.

"Princey," the first one that Virgil met. Extremely dramatic, probably light-headed and egotistical. The one that Janus ordered a katana for. A fucking katana. Why would he want a katana of all things? And those nicknames. His nicknames for Virgil were worse than Remus’, and that’s saying something. Though he was kind to Virgil in their interactions; at least, that’s what Virgil told him. Janus would have to keep a close eye on this one.

“Pat,” the one they were going to pick up flowers for. The so-called “Dad Friend” of the group. Called Virgil “Kiddo.” Mother-henned the shit out of him. Even though Virgil was their Sugar Daddy, Janus wouldn’t be surprised if they called Pat “Daddy” in bed. On the other hand, some of the things that Virgil said spoke otherwise. Pat’s love of stuffed animals, his goofy puns, his opinion against swearing; he sounded like a child in an adult body. An oxymoron, and someone that Janus will also have to keep an eye on.

And “Lo.” Possibly the one that Janus trusted the least out of the trio. Extremely serious. Chocolate addict. Has a fucking sleep schedule for his boyfriends. Probably a control freak. Works part-time at the library. Goes to the local college. More interested in space than the world around him. Probably even more egotistical than Princey. Spends the majority of his time arguing with others or chastising Virgil for spending money on them. Most likely to upset Virgil. One that Janus would definitely be keeping an eye on.

His grip on the steering wheel tightened. He would not let them hurt Virgil. And if they somehow did, well…

Some of Father’s old associates could still prove useful. They at least knew how to hide a body. Or three.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(January 17th)

Janus triple-checked the address, making sure that he was at the right house. Virgil had needed a safe way to ship these flowers to Pat’s house without Pat finding out OR one of his crushes seeing his face. So, Janus agreed to be his delivery boy. It made sense; Deceit wore the most makeup AND he hissed every other line, so it was near impossible to be recognized out-of-costume. And if Janus got a good look at Virgil’s crushes… well, Virgil wasn’t here now, was he? Janus set the bouquet on the middle of the porch; far enough for the person to not accidentally knock it over on their way outside, but close enough to where it would be noticed and not accidentally fall off the edge. He tapped the door three times with the back of his knuckles and quickly turned around, making a beeline for his car. He intended on getting a glimpse of the man’s face as he drove away, hopefully seeing enough to be able to spot him off the college roster-

“Wait!” Janus stopped dead in his tracks. He didn’t expect him to be that fast. There was a moment of silence before Janus heard a sigh. “You’re not Virgil, are you?”

He smirked. “Yes, I’m definitely Virgil. I just decided to knock on your door and increase the chances of you seeing me when I could’ve just texted me.”

The man sighed again. “You must be Janus, then. I assume that since you arrived specifically when Patton wouldn’t be home today, you came to drop off his birthday present.” There was a slight pause, probably meant for Janus to respond. Suddenly. There was a soft “Oh.” Janus couldn’t take it anymore; he turned around and his jaw dropped.

The man was tall, taller than any of the Dark Sides. He had dark brown hair, brushed neatly out of his face. He wore a pair of square glasses, which perfectly framed his dark blue eyes. He wore a black button-up shirt and dark wash jeans. A navy blue tie hung loosely around his neck. But what caught Janus’ attention was the look of pure adoration on his face as he looked at the flowers on the porch. His face was so open and kind, something that Janus never expected him to look like. Is this the look that Janus gave Remus when they were alone? If so, Janus now understood why Virgil didn’t want to be in their relationship. Just the look on Lo’s face was enough to make Janus feel excluded from their relationship. Suddenly, the adoration turned to a more mischievous look. “That’s why he wanted Patton to clean out that vase,” he said fondly, before shaking his head. “Do I even want to know how much Virgil spent on this?”

“Nope.” Janus made sure to keep his voice nonchalant, not showing any sign of weakness. He watched curiously as Logan did the same, schooling his expression before looking up at Janus. His eyes briefly flickered over to Janus’ scar, but other than that he paid no mind to it. Janus felt something rise within him; whether respect or irritation, he couldn’t tell. “Now’s the time where I must ask: what are your intentions with Virgil?” He made sure to keep an even tone, not wanting to influence Lo’s response.

Lo blinked, looking almost surprised, before his eyes dropped back to the flowers. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “On one hand, Virgil is an amazing person that I’ve now known for several months. I know that the others have wanted to ask him to join our relationship for a while. On the other hand, we know very little about him. Unless Virgil inherited this money, there’s no possible way that his only profession is commissioning art. What else has he lied about? How can I trust him, much less love him, if I don’t know when he’s lying to me?”

Janus slowly raised his left hand, using his right to cover his heart. “My name is Janus Williams. I swear to you my full honesty. Ask me anything that you don’t believe other than Virgil’s profession, and I will answer to the best of my ability.”

Lo rubbed a hand against his face- fuck, the guy was actually crying. “That’s the problem. I want to believe him; I want to read his texts and not feel even the slightest bit of skepticism. I want to eagerly accept him into our relationship, no questions asked. But I can’t!” He looked back up at Janus, the look in his eyes something that will pierce Janus’ soul for a long time. “I’ve spent the past 8 years taking care of my boyfriends. I can’t have Virgil hurt them, accidentally or on purpose! I will do anything to keep them safe, even if it means keeping Virgil away.”

Janus sighed, pitying the man in front of him. “Would you like some advice, Lo?” At Lo’s nod, he turned to walk away. “Virgil has no intention of ever harming you. He originally lied to you so that he wouldn’t get hurt or used. He’s never had to tell anyone this secret, and he’s never been one to easily trust others. I know you’ve already waited a long time, but please, be patient. He’ll come to you when he’s ready, I swear.” And with that, Janus got in his car and drove away. Once he got to the nearest available parking spot (located at a sickeningly sweet bakery) he pulled out his phone to text Virgil.

J- (2:12 PM) Package delivered

V- (2:12 PM) Thanks, man. Did they see you?

Janus paused. Should he tell Virgil about their encounter? Something told him that Lo wouldn’t mention their interaction to Virgil. If he did, then Janus would come clean. If not…

J- (2:13 PM) No, Virgil. The secret identities of your boy toys are safe.

V- (2:13 PM) Cool. I’ll let them know that it’s there.

And with that, Janus drove back home, where he can watch shitty romcoms and hopefully forget about the tired look in Lo’s eyes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P- (5:04 PM) Oh my gosh, I love these Kiddo!

R- (5:04 PM) What did he get you?

P- (5:05 PM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo shows the light blue vase that Patton’s chocolate bouquet was in. The vase was filled with beautiful glass roses. They were mainly clear, with the tips of each petal either red, navy blue, sky blue, or violet.]

V- (5:05 PM) Now you can have flowers that'll never die. Happy Birthday, Pat.

P- (5:06 PM) Thank you SO much, Virgil!

V- (5:06 PM) :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

[driversmutbucket]

Kitten X

I can’t, and i can’t stress this enough, believe this frivolous ho has written a 10 part series. I mean, granted, a lot of it is straight porn. But still.  I love these two. Lets marry them.   Yes i did cry writing this because i am ridiculous and emotionally attached. 

To catch up on this series please refer to my master post. 

(this looks like a wedding photo right?!)

Kylo Ren AU x Reader Warnings: disgusting levels of fluff, mentions of pregnancy, NSFW

 9 months later

“Better late than never!” Your mom smiled as she laced up the back of your gown.

“Oh come on, I’m hardly an old maid at 34 mother.” you sighed, rolling your eyes. 

“I know, I know darling, we are very happy for you, your father and I. We were just worried we would be in the grave before you ever settled down” She patted your shoulder, “you look lovely.” 

-

Your parents were old school. You were their only child, and they had you later in life after a long battle with infertility. Had they planned your life things would be very different. They had found your focus on academia and career baffling, failing to understand how it was more fulfilling than settling down and starting a family. 

They meant well, they really did, and despite your contrasting beliefs on many matters, you remained close. 

Kylo had survived a family Christmas, your mom was particularly smitten with him. He had survived 1000 questions, photo albums, extremely dubious political chat and constant hints about grandchildren. Every night you had apologized profusely, he just chuckled and told you they really weren’t that bad. 

Kylo proposed in mid-January, booking out the entire the Italian restaurant you had your first date in. You had accepted through sobs, as the staff all clapped and cheered. 

-

It was now August, and the leaves were changing colour, the days slightly cooler and shorter. 

You had planned an intimate wedding in a downtown Hotel that you both loved the historical architecture of. In attendance were a handful of friends and family, uninterested in a big showy affair, you had opted on quality rather than quantity. 

Your metallic silk gown made you feel beautiful. The corset design accentuated your figure, and the deep v neckline was sexy yet tasteful. The gown evoked 1920s glamour, and you had your hair styled and makeup applied to echo the era.

Your father even became misty eyed when he saw you, “Like an old-hollywood beauty, you look lovely sweetheart.” He said gruffly, trying to discreetly dab his eyes. 

-

Heart pounding, you waited outside the doors of the small ceremony room clutching your father's arm. 

Cat Power - Sea of Love began to play softly. 

You were already blinking back tears as you stepped through the doors, Kylo’s head snapping up from where he stood at the front of the room. 

He didn’t, for one second, take his eyes off you as you made your ascent up the aisle. 

Kylo shook your father's hand when you made it to the front, he then placed his hand on the small of your back and leaned down and whispered in your ear.

“Y/n, babe, you look fucking incredible, so beautiful, Kitten.” 

“Thank you”, you beamed, “you look so handsome.”

He did. In a classic tuxedo, Kylo looked very dapper. His eyes shone with emotion. 

-

Time seemed to go at warp speed as you tried to soak everything up, remember every detail. How Kylo couldn’t take his eyes off you. How he whispered ‘my wife’ into your ear every so often, like he was in disbelief. How your mom and Jan clutched each other and dabbed their eyes during your vows. How Luke beamed at Kylo and clapped him on the back, expressing his pride. 

As Kylo took your hand for the first dance, your heart swelled as the opening notes of Into my arms by Nick Cave played. You had told Kylo to pick a song and not tell you what it was.

His arm circled your waist and pulled your body to his. 

I don't believe in an interventionist God But I know, darling, that you do But if I did, I would kneel down and ask Him Not to intervene when it came to you

Your eyes swam with tears for the upteenth time as he kissed the top of your head before resting his forehead against your own. 

“Don’t cry Kitten.” He teased, his own eyes glossy. 

You sang the words of the next verse softly to him. 

Oh, not to touch a hair on your head Leave you as you are If he felt he had to direct you Then direct you into my arms

As the chorus played tears were running silently down your cheeks now, as happiness, gratitude and love overwhelmed you.

Into my arms, oh Lord Into my arms, oh Lord Into my arms, oh Lord Into my arms

Kylo wiped the tears away with his thumbs as he cupped your face, kissing your lips softly. 

And I don't believe in the existence of angels But looking at you I wonder if that's true

“My angel.” He hummed, before pressing another kiss on your lips.

But if I did I would summon them together And ask them to watch over you Both to each burn a candle for you To make bright and clear your path And to walk, like Christ, in grace and love And guide you into my arms

Into my arms, oh Lord Into my arms, oh Lord Into my arms, oh Lord Into my arms

Other couples joined you on the floor, there weren’t many dry eyes to be seen. 

You chuckled softly, nodding towards Jan “you better dance with Jan after this baby.” 

Her face was blotchy from crying, as she looked on, radiating so much joy that Kylo couldn’t help but grin. 

But I believe in Love And I know that you do, too And I believe in some kind of path That we can walk down, me and you So keep your candles burning Make her journey bright and pure That she'll keep returning Always and evermore

“Perfect song choice.” You sighed, as it came to a close.

Into my arms, oh Lord Into my arms, oh Lord Into my arms, oh Lord Into my arms

-

You blinked and it was over. 

The honeymoon suite in the hotel was yours for the night.

“Let’s go consummate this holy union Mrs Ren” Kylo murmured playfully into your ear as you both walked into the elevator. 

You giggled, buzzed on the champagne coursing through your veins. 

“I can’t believe I have a husband.” You grinned, running your fingers down the lapels of his jacket. 

“Can’t believe I bagged such a fucking hot wife.” He mirrored your grin, eyes dancing with mischief as you slapped his chest in mock shock. 

The elevator dinged, and Kylo led you to the door of the suite.

“Can’t wait to kick these shoes off.” You sighed.

“Can’t wait to rip your dress off.” He replied, opening the door. 

“Rip this dress and I will divorce you, Ren.” you deadpanned. 

“You wound me, Kitten.” He winked, shrugging off his jacket.

You quickly stepped into the bathroom and slipped out of your dress. The lingerie beneath was as important as the dress. White and luxurious, the delicate lace bustier and thong accentuate your curves, stockings were held up by straps connected to the bustier. You primped your hair slightly before re-emerging and leaning against the door frame. 

“So what- oh fuuuuuuuuuck!” Kylo stopped dead, midway through undoing his cuff links. 

You raised your eyebrow with a smug smile, “what were you saying?”

“I was going to ask what you wanted to do…. if you wanted some more champagne.” He gestured blindly at the bottle next to the bed, eyes drinking you in.

“What I want,” you began walking toward him, as he sat on the edge of the bed, “is for my husband to make love to me,” You purred, stopping in front of him and bending over, resting your hands on his thighs, “then yes, I will have some more champagne, preferably in a bubble bath.”

“Babe, right now you could ask for anything and I would give it to you.” His voice a bit deeper, as you stood back up, his fingers ghosting down your sides. 

You did a slow twirl, “do you like?” 

He nodded dumbly, like his brain was short circuiting. 

Clutching your waist he pulled you between his legs and kissed along your collarbone. 

You loved how far his hands were able to reach around your waist, you felt so safe in those big hands. 

You sighed happily as his mouth moved down, teasing your covered nipples with his tongue.

Reaching for his shirt you began fumbling with his buttons, as his hands slid down and cupped your bottom, squeezing gently.

“Lay on the bed.” Kylo murmurs against your skin. 

You make a show of crawling into the middle of the plush mattress, wiggling your ass before laying down and propping yourself up on your elbows. 

“Fucking hellllllllllllll, that is my wife!” His smile devilish and smug and he strips off his remaining clothing. 

“Kylo?” he pauses and looks up, just as he is about to pull down his trousers. “I’m not on birth control anymore.” 

You chew your lip nervously as it dawns on him what you are insinuating. 

“Do you want to-” he began, eyes wide.

“I mean, only if-” 

“YES, yes! Fuck! babe, are you serious?” The hope and glee on Kylo’s face was enough to make you melt into a puddle. 

“I want nothing more than my husband to put a baby in me.” you couldn’t help grinning at how those words sounded coming out of your mouth, kind of ridiculous but kind of...erotic? 

Apparently Kylo found it very bloody erotic. He was buck naked in seconds and crawling over you, caging you beneath him, his rock hard cock prodding your stomach.

You arched your back as he dragged his nose down into the valley between your breasts, burying his face in between them with a soft moan. He unclasped your bra, tossing it off the bed while he admired your breasts, as they sat naturally. 

“Perfect tits.” he murmured, tweaking a nipple, you gasped- then whimpered as he quickly soothed the sting with his mouth. 

Gripping behind your knees, Kylo pushed your legs up and out beside your torso. He kept his hands there, spreading you wide, running his mouth over the lace of your thong as you desperately tried to thrust.

“These panties are very damp Kitten.” He breathed, finally letting go of your legs. “Hold your legs up for me.” You replaced his hands with your own.

He tugged the flimsy fabric aside and pressed a kiss on your clit. 

“Fuck.” You hissed. 

He pushed one finger, then another into your sopping cunt, scissoring them slightly to stretch you out.

Keeping his fingers inside you, working you into a fit of whines and whimpers, Kylo scaled your body, seeking your mouth with his own. Hot and heavy kisses as his fingers continued pumping, your hand wrapped around his hard length.

He removed his fingers and positioned you on your side so you were leaning into your elbow. He straddled your bottom leg and pulled the thong aside, pushing into your warmth with a grunt and he settled behind you. You twisted back so your mouths could meet again as his hand found your breast. 

It wasn’t fevered fucking, it was passionate and luxurious love making. His hand roaming your body, tracing your curves. His mouth kissed you, peppered kisses down your neck and over your shoulder. 

“My wife.” He murmured in your ear, on more than one occasion. 

You whimpered and moaned, the position meant he could get deep inside you, hit your g spot relentlessly as he thrust his hips. 

You came with a cry as his fingers expertly worked your clit, he followed soon after as your whispered sweet sentiments in his ear. 

The second he pulled out, he was elevating your hips, shoving pillows under your butt.

“Ahh...what the fuck are you doing?” you asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Keeping my cum in you.” he replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

You barked out a laugh, but he was deadly serious, “stay there and i’ll run the bath.”

You watched with an amused smile, from your ridiculous position as he grabbed the champagne and glasses and disappeared into the bathroom. 

-

As Kylo led you into the bathroom you gasped, there were candles on every surface and a small table next to the large bath held a bunch of roses, the champagne, strawberries and a gift bag. 

“Did you organise all this…” you looked at Kylo in wonder. 

He just nodded silently, studying your face as if to gauge your reaction. 

“This is beautiful, thank you.” you said softly, pressing a kiss on his lips. 

He began to undress you, pulling off the remainder of your lingerie before helping you into the large tub. 

“Oh my god this is heavenly!” you groaned, sinking into the hot water. Your aching feet from a day in heels soothed. 

Kylo pulled you into him and you rested your head back against his chest with a happy sigh. 

He reached and pulled a red box from the bag next to the bath. 

“Kitten, for you.” he smiled, as you hurriedly dried your hands and took the box. 

“Kylo! Jesus Christ!” you breathed, recognising the unmistakable design of the jewellery box as that of Cartier. 

You opened it slowly, revealing a beautiful gold necklace. The round pendant was inlaid with what was surely diamonds. You gaped at it, silently.

“Is it ok?” Kylo sounded slightly worried. 

You handed it to him blindly, “can you put it on me please, baby?” your voice wobbling. 

You traced the circle gently as he fastened it, before turning around completely, “what do you think?” you asked.

“Perfect.” he smiled adoringly. 

“I love it, but i didn’t get you anything! I feel-!” you fretted. 

“Y/n, you married me. That’s enough for me, forever.” 

“If you could stop making me cry that would be really great.” you sniffed, wiping your eyes, “I’m dehydrated from all this crying.” 

He grinned, pulling you into his lap and handing you a glass on bubbles. 

“Drink this and stop blubbering, silly Kitten.” he teased. 

You flicked water at him. 

-

You ate room service in fluffy robes at 2 in the morning, before collapsing into the bed, exhausted from the day. 

You snuggled into the warmth of his body, right when you were drifting off Kylo began thinking aloud.

“We need to get you on prenatal vitamins babe, and i’ll find ask the board who the best OBGYN is, we should really get you in there as soon-”

“Baby, i love you, but please shut up and go to sleep.” you mumbled, sleepily.

-----

Tag list: @reyloaddict55​ @candycanes19​ @jediminddicks1000​ @finn-ray-nal-beads​ @maybe-your-left​ @thegreenmatt​ @morby​ @sydneyssmut​ @contesa-lui-alucard​ @millenialcatlady​

[thomaslightwood]

Light || Thomastair one shot

@cartwrightsgrace Iz, this is special gift for you because I'm still very hurt by this. And no, I'm not gonna go over it.

Warning: it's sad.

Go check the dictionary in the end if you want

Please excuse my bad english.

And please, ignore it's a trash, thank you

Words: 1 357

Enjoy

•

The night was cold. He could feel it through his clothes, skin and muscles, right into his bones.

The only warm thing on this planet was the body in his hands that was dying.

“Please,” Alastair whispered. “Please, don't leave me.”

It was so cold. So cold that Alastair couldn't feel his fingers or legs. But his heart was save and warm in his chest, breaking in thousands, millions pieces. It wouldn't matter though. Because Thomas was in his arms, his belly torn apart and by the Angel there was so much blood and Thomas was Alastair's life. And he was dying.

Thomas looked at him, barely able to keep his eyes open. His beautiful, hazel eyes. They were so warm. So beautiful. Thomas was so beautiful.

“Adelbaram,” he murmured softly. “The thief of my heart. You…” Thomas groaned from pain.

There was so much blood, Raziel, so much.

“Thomas,” Alastair desperately said his name. “Thomas, please, stay with me, by the Angel.”

Thomas looked at him again.

“Alas,” he breathed. “I… I love you.”

“No!” Alastair closed his eyes to stop the tears. “No! Don't. They will find us soon. The Silent Brothers will heal you and you will be fine and then you can tell me whatever you want.”

When he looked at Thomas again he saw tears. He didn't know it was possible but his heart was broken again. One piece of it was destroyed with every Thomas' tear.

“Alastair,” he choked. “Alastair. You're so beautiful. You were amazing. You… you're the thief of my heart,” he smiled. “You have always been.”

“Please,” Alastair cried. “The light of my eyes, my jan, don't. Thomas, please.”

Thomas was crying. His face was covered in blood and tears. This sign was so unbearable that Alastair hugged him even tighter, Thomas' face in his neck. Alastair could feel his insteady breath.

“You shall be fine,” Alastair said with closed eyes. Tears escaped down his cheeks. He couldn't stop them anymore. “You shall be fine, noore cheshmam,” Alastair wailed. “I can't live without you. Without you nothing of me matters. You're my heart, my will to move, my jan. Please. Thomas, please.”

Thomas sobbed. “Thank you. Thank you for loving me, for every kiss and hug, for every gentle word. They mean the world,” he barely take a breath. “You mean the world. You… you are everything, Alastair Carstairs,” he sighed. “You are light.”

The day too.

The night was cold.

The sun.

The sunlight.

Everything was cold. 

Alastair felt it in his soul.

When they found them, Alastair didn't notice it. He wished he could stop the time around them. This way he could die with his Thomas.

He shouldn't be so cold. It was wrong. Someone with so much love in himself never should be that cold. And here they were.

Alastair closed his eyes.

•

Thomas wanted to tell him that he is loved him. He repeated it so many times already but Alastair couldn't hear him. No one did. 

He followed him into the room of his mother. Alastair looked tired. Aged. There was this wrinkles in the corner of his eyes and mouth that seemed to never disappear. His jaw was tight. Hands always in gloves. Thomas wanted to hug him, to hold him until he was better. But he would never be able to do it again.

“Alastair,” he whimpered. “Alastair, please. Hear me. Hear me, see me!”

Nothing. 

Thomas felt useless. The one he loved the most was in pain and Thomas couldn't help him. 

Sona passed away soon after the baby was born. So soon she couldn't name her son.

When Thomas saw Alastair's expression he wanted to scream. And he did. There wasn't anyone who could hear him. 

Alastair named the baby because Cordelia was in England and there wasn't anyone other from the family.

When Thomas heard the baby's name he felt like crying.

It was Majnun Thomas Carstairs.

•

Sometimes Thomas thought about his family. His friends. Alastair never returned in London so Thomas never saw them again.

But he missed them. Sometimes was ready to get back in London to see his sisters' weddings or James and Cordelia's son. Simply to watch Christopher doing his experiments or the Merry Thieves' room in Devil Tavern.

But then he looked at Alastair, adelbaram, and these thoughts just disappeared. 

He couldn't leave him alone. Never. Never ever.

•

Thomas was looking at Alastair's red coat through the ballroom. Now he was in his thirties. With more scars, more wounds.

“Hey kid,” someone asked.

Thomas turned to the other ghost. It was a woman in her late forthies. Her black dress was covered in blood.

“Who are you?” she asked curiously. “I haven't see you here before.”

“I'm nobody,” Thomas said simply. “And don't worry about me. I'm not here for long.”

“Oh,” her expression turned soft. “You're sad soul, aren't you?”

Thomas didn't reply. He didn't has it in himself to do it.

“Why do you chose to stay though? I can see ghost life isn't for you.”

“I didn't choose to stay here just for itself,” he said, feeling sudden pain.

“Then why are you here?”

In the following silence Thomas looked at Alastair. He could see gray in his hair.

“Because the one I love begged me to stay.” he whispered. “I couldn't leave him alone.”

•

It was painful to watch Alastair with so much gray in his hair. To watch him grow old while Thomas was forever a boy.

Thomas whished so many times Alastair to find someone else. To be happy with him. But for years Alastair lived only with Majnun in Devon. And after Majnun brought his own house in Paris Alastair lived alone. Well, Thomas was with him of course. But Alastair didn't know, Thomas thought with pain. He was so lonely. He thought that he was alone but that wasn't true. Thomas was always by his side.

Every year, on the day Thomas died, Alastair went to that bookstore in Paris where they meet at their travel year. Where everything began. Even when it was closed, he still came to the same place and spend a few hours there.

Every time Thomas felt so heartbroken that he thought it couldn't be worse. But he was wrong.

Every year it became harder and harder. He wanted to hug him, to touch him, to kiss him. He wanted to make him feel loved. But he could never ever do it again.

•

For so many years he talked to Alastair, telling him he loved him and that everything was gonna be alright. 

But now, Thomas was looking at his fully gray hair, the wrinkles all over his face and thought… it wasn't fine. Nothing was fine anymore. It never has been.

Alastair distances himself from people who loved him, accepting the solitude. He wanted the solitude. Because he was grieving. He grieved all his life, all these years. Thomas wanted Alastair to stop, even to forget him if it was need, and to be with someone who loved him. Thomas always had the hope, deep in his heart, that Alastair was going to find happiness again.

But now, after so many years, Alastair closed his eyes. And didn't open them anymore. 

•

Thomas was above suffering. In his being was left only sorrow.

It was like breathing. Unable to be escaped or stopped even for while.

For so many years he talked to Alastair, no matter no one could hear him, because he felt like he was losing his mind. His sanity was the only thing that death didn't stole from him.

Now he realized it was pointless. Absolutely, unbelievably pointless. Because in the end he was alone. He was far, far away. Alastair wasn't there to hug him anymore. No one was.

Every little thing he could remember about his short time with Alastair when he was alive, was hurting. It was pure pain to watch him grow old and die. But those precious memories were a killer. He was already dead but he felt like dying.

Thomas wanted his the thief of his heart so much.

He closed his eyes, hoping the light would show him the way home.

•

Dictionary

jan - life

adelbaram - the thief of my heart

noore cheshmam - the light of my eyes

Thank you for reading.

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

Ok, so I'm gonna start posting one-shots from my post putting others first one-shot book onto here. First, we have Trust In Me which is Roceit obviously.

Synopsis: It's been an entire week since the video and Roman hasn't come out of his room at all, not even to eat. After a discussion with Thomas and a heavy scolding from Remus, Janus realises that Roman has had a severe creative burn out.

Can Janus help Roman recover?

P.s This is based on my head cannon that Janus can force sides to sleep if they're not looking after themselves. I know in the video it saids denial but I think Janus's core functions are Deceit and Self Preservation especially because of the language he used during putting others first.

Tw: Self Harm, not looking after one's self and creative burnout.

It had been nearly over a week since the video and Roman had refused to let anyone in his room. After a talk with Virgil and Janus, they had both managed to make amends, Patton was so relieved. Thomas not only took time for himself but he talked with Virgil and reassured him that he trusted him. The youtuber also apologised to Logan for ignoring him and reassured him that he would listen to him more often. However, Thomas was overworking himself and began to sleep less. Everyone including Thomas thought Roman needed time to heal, boy they were wrong.

That brought Thomas to today, he was sleep-deprived and barely functioning. He knew that Janus would be the best one to call to help solve the problem due to him being the expert on self-care.

Janus sunk up in his new spot in the kitchen. He looked at Thomas with deep worry and concern.

"How can I help you, Thomas?!"

"I haven't been able to sleep, I took your advice but then I kept staying up later and later jotting down ideas."

"Ah, I see, Roman hasn't come out of his room since the video, he hasn't come down for meals. Every time Patton has left a plate outside Roman's door it has remained untouched. We haven't even been able to sink into Roman's room."

"Oh no that's bad!"

"Heck yeah and you deserve it, Roman's half of the imagination was on fire and I had to put it out all by myself."

"That kind of language won't help Thomas, Remus."

"You don't have the right to tell me what to do! Especially after you abandoned me and broke my brother."

"Re, he made fun of my name, he needed to know he was wrong. I was just trying to teach him."

"Don't you lie to me, you know your comeback broke him, in fact, it was worse. Look at Thomas and tell me that's a sign Thomas is ok."

"Your right, Thomas im going to use my powers on Roman. Lie down as you may begin to feel yourself drift off. Also, I advise you take a creative break as that will help Roman fully recover from whatever state he's gotten himself into."

"Thanks, Janus, make sure to send him to me when he feels better."

"Don't worry I will do, now do yourself a favour and sleep."

Thomas sunk into the covers and looked up to the sky before trying to fall asleep. Meanwhile, Janus and Remus sunk into the mindscape and hurried to Roman's Room. Remus tried the door nob but it was locked.

"Remus break down the door!"

"Yes sir!"

Remus summoned his morning star and began beating at the door till it was nothing but splinters. When the duo walked in they were absolutely heartbroken at the sight they saw. Roman was at his desk trying to come up with more ideas. The creative side, looked as thin as a twig, his prince costume was on the ground torn and he had bags underneath his eyes that could rival Virgil's eye shadow.

Roman hadn't even taken notice of the door being broken by Remus. His focus was purely on jotting down in his crimson red note book. Remus grabbed the torn up Prince costume.

"Remus go fix his costume, I can handle this!"

"J-J-Jay?"

"I'll take care of him, Remus."

"Thank you!"

Roman punched the desk in frustration, he was trying his hardest to help Thomas be productive and come up with good ideas. He couldn't remember the last time he slept or ate but he remembered that he needed to prove to Thomas that he was useful. He looked at his wrist and saw yet another bruise form on his already damaged body.

"Oh Roman, we've all been so worried, you haven't been eating any of the food Patton left outside of your door."

The creative side jumped at the sight of the snake. He was sure he had locked his door but when he saw the broken-down door he was highly confused. Roman looked at Janus with a cold expression.

"Roman, listen to me it's been over a week, Thomas is burned out for the constant input your giving. You need to rest, you've burnt yourself out."

"Why do you care snake, I'm the bad guy, I'm the one hurting Thomas and why did the others send you I thought they wanted me to be useful for Thomas and not hurt him."

"Roman, you're not hurting Thomas, you're hurting yourself, why can't you see that?"

"Because I'm always wrong, maybe we should go to the callback wrong, you're the bad guy wrong. Every time I share my ideas I'm wrong. It was wrong for me to make fun of your name it's actually gorgeous and suits you it's just I thought it was what the others wanted but clearly as always I was wrong."

"Oh Roman, how did we let you fall so far? I shouldn't have reacted the way I did you and Remus are not evil or similar your just both opposites and that's amazing. We all love you, Roman, when I nodded I was trying to reassure you that Thomas was telling the truth. You do so much for us."

"I-I how can I trust you, the others told me you were trying to manipulate me?!"

"I apologise for my behaviour I should have never targeted your self-esteem the way I did."

"It's ok it's my fault I should have been better but you see locked away I can be."

"No this is unhealthy behaviour, you're destroying yourself."

"I'll do- hey put me down!"

"Roman you need to rest!"

Janus gently placed Roman down on his King-sized bed. He closed his eyes focusing all of his energy on using his powers.

"N-no, need to help T-"

"Roman look at me you need to rest, you've gotten yourself severely ill."

"Jan-"

"Shhhh, Roman you need to rest."

"J-"

"It's ok, I'm right here, now sleep."

Janus gently stroked Roman's hair as his powers began to take effect. He continued to soothe the worn-out creative side.

"Don't fight it you need to rest."

"Janus how a-"

"Sleep."

Roman wanted to fight it to stay awake but for the first time in weeks, he felt so relaxed. The creative side drifted off into unconsciousness. Janus tucked Roman in and gently kissed him on the cheek. He then grabbed the thermometer and checked the temperature of the creative side. Janus gasped out how hot Roman was, this indeed was a severe burnout and it would take at least a few weeks to nurse Roman back to help. Guilt struck his heart if only they'd bothered to barge into Roman's room after the video, then this wouldn't have happened.

"Rest well, my love."

Roman groaned in pain, he felt as hot as lava. Everything was blurry and the only thing he could make out was a blur of dark blue and black.

"L-Logan?"

"It's alright Janus is in the kitchen, he told me what happened."

"I'm so-"

"I don't want to hear it Roman, I understand what it's like to feel like your not listened too. I forgive you, now drink up if you weren't a figment of Thomas we would have lost you by now."

"Pft thanks teach."

Roman accepted the cup of water and gulped it down as slowly as he could. His hand shook violently trying to hand the cup back to Logan.

The next time Roman, awoke was when he felt his mouth tingle. He adjusted to his surroundings releasing that he was still sick. The creative side gasped in shock weakly, when he saw the tall figure of his brother towering over him.

"You're an idiot you know that righty."

"Right, where's Jan?"

"In the kitchen again, he thinks some sweet things will help. Sorry, it's just I was so worried especially when we broke into your room."

"I understand, Rem I-"

"I know but promise me you'll stop this self-destructive, behaviour."

"I-I can't promise but I'll try my very best."

"Good Ro-bro, now open wide you need to take some medicine."

Roman's tongue tingled in delight feeling the strawberry flavoured liquid go down. He eventually once again felt drowsy and drifted off back to sleep.

Once again Roman awoke but this time he could hear soft Disney Music echoing across the room. He blinked and saw a soft blur of black and purple.

"Ha knew that would wake you up, princey."

"Virgil?!"

"Before you start questioning your brothers with Janus making share the snake gets some rest. He's never left your side you know, for hours he would only leave to cook you food."

"I-I didn't think-"

"Of course you thought that, oh how I wished me and Patton were less hard on you during the courtroom. We should have realised that you're just a fragile little butterfly sooner."

"Why am I a butterfly?"

"Because butterflies are so beautiful and graceful."

"Im not beautiful a-"

"Roman Creativity Sanders, I will not sit here and watch you talk bad about yourself. You matter and you are so important, if it wasn't for you Thomas wouldn't be where he is today if it wasn't for you Thomas wouldn't have a fan base that adore and idolise him. You're the one who tries to make Logan loosen up, you're the one who makes sure Patton is happy and you reassure me that Thomas is safe to take risks. You make us better!"

"I-I-"

"Well, it seems I've left you speechless, this is not your fault Roman, we're your fam-ILY we should have noticed that we were hurting you."

"Sor-"

"Not everything is on you Roman, you always try to be better, you tried to be nicer to me but I didn't do that in return."

"Um thanks, I guess."

"Here Patton made you some healing soup."

Roman carefully chugged down the soup, his hands still felt extremely achy. The next time he woke up to someone other than Janus was when he felt water trickling down his forehead. Roman looked up to see a familiar light blue and grey blur towering over him.

"Shh it's only me kiddo, how are you feeling?"

"Boiling."

"Your fevers died down, thanks to Thomas taking a creative break."

"He really did that for me?"

"Of course Kiddo, we've all been trying to help you recover especially Janus. In fact, he's talking with Thomas right now."

"I-I thought you all hated me, I thought everything I did wasn't good enough."

"Don't ever say that again I really do mean it kiddo we love ya. From now on I'm gonna show how much we care. I see it now that I wasn't just hurting Thomas with my strictness it hurt you too and for that I'm sorry. You're allowed to be flawed."

"Thanks, padre it-it um means alot to me."

"Now here you're still sick so you still need to take your medicine."

It took approximately four weeks for Roman to heal from his drastic creative burnout. The side crawled out of bed and changed into his black undergarments. He still didn't quite feel worthy of his Prince costume but he still felt ready to confront his others. As soon as he opened the door he was greeted by Janus who looked like he was about to burst into tears.

"R-Roman, you've fully recovered."

"Yeah, mainly thanks to you, why didn't you tell us your other main functions were denial and self-preservation."

"Only Virgil and Remus knew of my functions and powers. I just knew that you guys wouldn't believe me."

"Well, I'm very grateful you stayed by my side."

"Ah, it was nothing but seriously both you and Thomas need to learn that selfishness can be good sometimes."

"I remember me, telling you I went against you to please the others and that still stands. You were right from the beginning and I should have realised you were trying to tell me that giving up the call back to please the others was not ok."

"I'm glad you've learned and I promise you if you lie about how your feeling I'll call you out on it."

"Thank you, Janus."

"My pleasure Roman, I did promise to send you to Thomas as soon as you'd recovered but I'm sure your starving, Patton cooked your favourite."

"Mmmm lasagne."

"Bon appetite."

After that horrible burnout, Roman never ever bottled up his feelings, he even got to share his room with Remus. Thomas got another callback and he made sure this time that he compromised with his friends. It took a while but a lot of the fanders began to understand Roman's importance and problems as well. Roman stans were no longer the rarity.

The End

[xiubaek-13]

Case File 01

A/N: This is a continuation on the AU I created for Case 99. It is a standalone one shot but there is background info that you’ll pick up on more if you’re read the first fic. Let me know what you think :)

Pairing: Suho x Reader

Warnings: Supernatural themes, violence, angst, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, manipulation etc. This will deal with some darker themes but there is some light hearted fun in here too, kind of.

Genre: Fantasy/Supernatural

Word Count: 8,488

Summary: Sometimes people are not who they seem. Sometimes the harbor secrets that they would take to the grave. Sometimes people play with your heart on purpose in a sick and twisted game purely for their own amusement. When they think they’ve won you strike, because only you decide what breaks you.

One stupid mistake led you here and now you can’t escape. For a time you were happier than you’d ever been, but then there are times when you remember who you were and where you’re from. Will you choose to stay or will you find your way home?

I wonder if they’ll bargain with me? Do they even do that in this city? You stared at the small fruit stall, filled with it’s overpriced produce, then back at the small pile of coins in your hands. After a few days of greasy take away and dull looking food your body was craving something healthy. It just so happened that you strolled past a fruit store on your way towards the center of town…well what you assumed was the center. You’d decided that the giant casino was the middle of the city but you could be wrong, not that you really cared. This place was just a pit stop on your way to the coast. You grew up in the mountains and always dreamed of a trip to the sea. You wanted to watch the sunrise over the ocean to make a brand new day and to feel the cool water and sand between your toes as you did.

Your parents had always turned their noses up at the idea of a seaside holiday, the air was too salty down there apparently. Try as they might, they never dissuaded you from your dream holiday and as the years went by, your desire to visit the ocean only grew. Your parents did their best to try and change your mind (not that you ever understood what their problem with the ocean was), always telling you horror stories of the city that you’d have to pass through before you could get to the coast. A city that would corrupt and deceive you. A city that was full of dark alleys and people with secrets. These stories had the opposite effect than what was intended - now you wanted to spend a few days in this supposedly evil city. The storied made you interested in the corrupt nature of man and made you wonder about the cityfolk. Would they be cruel and jaded or kind and misguided?

Above all your father had told you never to trust the people you met between the city and the sea. He told you that they would manipulate your kind heart and twist you in ways that you wouldn’t realise until it was too late and he would not be able to protect you. If wasn’t for the worried look in his eyes when he spoke you would have thought nothing of his warning but something about the way he spoke and looked at you in that moment made you treat his words with the seriousness they deserved.

After three days in the city you could definitely agree with your parents about the cruel nature of man but not in the ways they might think. The residents of the town, as far as you were aware, were an even mix between the hardworking, honest folk and the scheming degenerate and power hungry rich who ruled the place. You’d seen things you couldn’t explain, things you couldn’t unsee and heard things you never wanted to hear again as long as you lived but even with the hidden dangers, the city had charm. It lured you in and made you want to stay just one more day…which is how you were still here after three days.

In the mountains you bartered with farmers and traded goods with neighbours but down here haggling was a much more intricate sport. Still, you were going to try with the fruit store owner because of how good those cherries looked in the front window, and the peaches. You passed through the door causing the small chime to sound as you entered. A short woman with kind eyes emerged from the back of the store and asked what you were after. You complimented her on the quality of her produce, chatting about where she sourced it from since there were no farms in this urban jungle and she was more than happy to chat away to you about the lovely gentleman who grew all sort of produce in his orchard between the city and the sea. When you told her of your childhood in the mountains she took great interest in learning about why you have strayed so far from home and if you were safe in this city. She reminded you a lot of your parents with her concern for your well-being and cryptic messages about the unsafe parts of town.

“Girl, I will make you a deal,” she began. “I will give you some of my fruit free of charge if you tell me two things.”

“What things?” You asked, puzzled by her odd question.

“Why you dream of the sea and what your name is.” He responded, her expression giving away nothing.

“That’s all?” You asked.

“Yes dear.”

“You can call me Jan-” You coughed midway through saying your name. Something told you not to give out your real name and before you could ponder your reasoning you found yourself giving the kind old woman an alias. “Iseul, you can call me Iseul.” She smiled. Then you proceeded to tell her about why you so strongly desired to visit the sea. True to her word, she gave you a small basket filled with peaches, cherries and apples.

“Go my dear, thank you for brightening my day with your stories and remember, though darkness may lurk around every corner it’s the man in front of you that you should be wary of for sometimes the wicked will say things just to confuse you.”

You left the little shop with your fruit basket, waving to the owner as you closed the door behind you. What a strange woman you thought to yourself. She had been kind but she had said many confusing things that now replayed through your mind.

As you made your way back to your hotel you were so consumed by your thoughts and the old woman’s words that you didn’t hear the man from the casino calling out to you until it was too late. The fading sound of “Watch out! Hey! Stop!” and the blurring image of the seaside and the casino and blonde haired man who tried to get your attention brought you back to your senses, only to make you think you’d been drugged.

The world swirled around you until you were engulfed in salt water. The floor fell out beneath you as you struggled to stay afloat. You’d never learned to swim - you’d never run the risk of drowning in the ocean up in the mountains after all. You gasped for air as you felt yourself slipping beneath the water. How the hell did this happen? Did that old lady drug me? Am I dreaming? I must be dreaming… and if I die in my dream I’ll wake up right? Your mind was racing as your lungs started to burn with the need for oxygen but you couldn’t get back to the surface no matter how hard you tried. When you had sunk further down your foot and somehow become stuck. You let go of the fruit basket and tried frantically to release your foot from the net it had become stuck in before you drowned, the very real fear of dying finally settling in.

Nothing worked. Your lungs felt like they were on fire as you tugged at the net, trying to loosen its hold on you. You knew you wouldn’t be able to prevent yourself from trying to gulp in a breath, which would only serve to fill your lungs with water and bring you closer to drowning to death. This was the exact opposite of your dream of being in the sea. This was a nightmare.

Realising that there was nothing more you could do you thought of your parents, of how you’d miss them and the little home you grew up in in the mountains. You’d miss your father’s lame jokes and your mother’s persistent nagging about how you should really hurry up and pick one of the farmers sons to wed. None of that would occur now, not when you were second away from blacking out from lack of oxygen. Unable to hold out any longer you open your mouth and water pours into it as you try to breathe, knowing full well that it will not work. The last thing you feel is the burning of your lungs and the salt water as your whole world fades to black. A glint of gold is the last thing you see before you bid the world adieu.

***

“Find out how she got here.” A voice commanded. The voice was male, that much you knew, but it had that tone that people in power get. Unrelenting and lacking in empathy. “There must be a tear near the border.” What the fuck is he talking about? Is this the afterlife? I sure as shit hope not because this guy sounds like a jerk and I do not want to be stuck with him for all of eternity. Your thoughts raced as you slowly regained consciousness, remembering walking on a street…then water, lots of water… then drowning? You were pretty sure you’d drowned and it had been awful. “She appeared in the East Sea and I do not want to see either of you until you find out where that tear is in the city. For all we know spies have been getting in again.”

Whoever it was that he was speaking to mumbled their response, making it too difficult for you to hear but you caught every second or third word. “Prince… Court… hunt… soon…”

This seemed to please the first man for a few moments. You decided it was as good a time as any to let them know you were conscious. You coughed and very slowly sat up, rubbing your eyes before opening them and looking around the room, if you could even call it that. It was a massive sprawling room with ornate carvings, there were windows all throughout the room that allowed the sunlight and pleasant sea breeze to flow through. You had been lying on the floor at the base of a small set of three stairs that led up to a dias. On the dias was an incredibly intricate wood and coral chair that could only be described as a throne.  There was a man standing next to you and another man seated in the throne. You blinked a few times and shook your head, not believing the sight in front of you.

Before you could open your mouth to speak the seated man spoke. “How did you get here girl?” His demanding tone grating on you.

“I don’t even know where I am so how am I supposed to know how I got here?” You responded curtly.

“Who are you? Surely you know that much.”

You bit your tongue because whilst this guy seemed to be a grade a jerk, he was sitting on a throne so you figured you’d give him a few minutes before you gave him a piece of your mind. “My name is Ja-. Iseul. My name is Iseul and I’m a tourist. Who are you?”

The man next to you scoffed. “You should address the Prince with more respect human.”

“Sorry, what?”

“I forget that humans are slower. I. Said. You. Should. Address. The. Prince. With. More. Respect.” He enunciated each word as though you hadn’t heard him the first time. You rolled your eyes at him before speaking.

“I heard you clearly the first time, there’s no need to be a dick about it. I said what because I clearly just gave my name so I have no idea why you decided to refer to me as human…like who does that? Weirdo, and secondly, Prince? Of where? Of what? I just told both of you I had no idea where I am.” You snapped.

The man next to you turned away from you, staring daggers at the supposed Prince. “Are you just going to let this…this human disrespect you like this?!”

The man on the throne couldn’t look less interested in the scene playing out before him if he tried. He lifted his gaze to the man and spoke in that flat commanding timbre. “D.O, I believe I gave you a job to do. Did I not?”

“Yes.”

“Then go do it.” When D.O doesn’t immediately take his leave he adds “Unless you want to answer to me when more strays or enemies come through into my land.”

With a hasty bow he takes his leave.

“I apologise for my emissary. He can be quite,” he paused. “hotheaded.” The man turned his gaze to you, his gaze pinning you to the spot. “Now. Do you truly remember nothing about how you got here?”

“This room? No I don’t.  I remember going to the fruit store and talking to a strange old lady. Then I was walking back to my hotel along the street when everything swirled and then I was drowning. That’s all I remember.” You weren’t lying, you really had no idea how you had gotten here. You were sticking with the being drugged explanation because honestly? Nothing else made any sense or even seemed possible.

He sighed. “Which city were you in?” You described the city to the best of your abilities, which was mainly surface details since you were only a tourist - hotel, fruit store, odd streets, the casino… There wasn’t really any way you could know the truth of the city.

“Lankhmar? I think that’s how you say it.”

Upon hearing the town name the prince held up a hand to stop you speaking. He then called out for a messenger. When one appeared, bowing and gesticulating far more than was necessary, he gave them strict instructions. “Go to my emissary before he leaves and tell him to check the mortal plane as well, the tear must join to one of the districts in Lankhmar. One of my brothers must not have properly sealed the rift upon his return.” The messenger resumed his excessive bowing as he backed out of the room, you could hear the quickening of his footsteps as soon as he was out of sight. Seriously who in the hell was this guy and why was everyone treating him like he was the ruler of the world?

“Who are you?” You asked.

He raised a brow at you. “Very bold of you to ask me questions like that.”

You were growing exasperated with this pointless exchange. “Listen. I’m thankful that you didn’t let me drown but I honestly have no idea where I am or who you are or why everyone is walking on eggshells in your presence. Give me something to work with here. What do I even call you?” You needed something tangible to cling to, anything to keep you from thinking that you’d either died and that this was the afterlife, which if it was - it could do with a severe attitude adjustment, or that you’d snapped and gone crazy.

“You fell through a tear in reality,” Ok so you’d gone crazy, at least you could come to terms with that now. “And you appeared in my court, Luskan, though it is more commonly known as The Summer Court,” You’d gone crazy and fallen into one of your childhood fairytales. It could be worse, at least the weather was pleasant here, like a beach holiday… maybe this was the old woman’s fault after all, she’d banged on about the sea and been all weird and cryptic after all. “If I’d allowed you to pollute my pristine waters I’d have hell to pay with the seafolk.” Did the mania induced creation of your brain have to be such a dick though? “What’s with your face Iseul?”

You froze when you heard your name. Looking up at him you noticed the perplexed look he had on his face. “It’s been quite some time since I’ve had to interact with mortals, is something confusing you? I forget how simple your kind are.”

You scoffed at him. “You’d think you’d be more relaxed given you live in paradise but so far everyone I’ve met here is a complete jerk. And what’s with this mortal crap anyway? We’re all people. Or are you some sort of elitist rich jerk who thinks everyone is beneath him?”

“This is going to sound crazy to you, but it is not my fault that your parents decided to shelter you from the truth. It’s actually a miracle that you’ve survived this long while being this blissfully ignorant. Humans make up roughly 60% of the world’s population. The remainder are improvements on the species.”  The way this man could say so many words without providing you with any answers was starting to piss you off.

“Is this your way of telling me that magic is real? Summer Court? What are you, a fairy prince?” You scoffed.

Your words must have hit a nerve with him since his next words were ground out through gritted teeth. “Do not call me or my kind fairies.” He took a shuddering breath to try and regain his composure. “The supernatural are real. The books you were read as a child about fantasy lands and monsters? Those are history books, dumbed down for your kind to understand.”

“What?” Surely he was lying. Magic wasn’t real. Fairies weren’t real. No, all of that was from your bedtime stories. This was all in your head, it had to be. Why would your parents hide this sort of information from you? They wouldn’t lie to you, you knew them, trusted them. This man, however, you absolutely did not trust.

“I don’t have the time for this. Follow me, and keep up.” He turned on his heel and briskly left the room. You scrambled to follow. He weaved through the outdoor corridors of what you could only refer to as a palace because, it was fucking huge and well, there were servants so you had to assume he was royalty of some sort. You followed through the terraces that were lined with plant life and glittering lights, silk draping from gazebos, flapping in the light breeze. Truly, it was like a little Mediterranean fairy tale come to life and you could only compare it to the images from your storybooks but you didn’t dare use the ‘f’ word again since it got his hackles up last time.

He came to a stop in front of a set of double doors made of driftwood, held together with golden twine. “In here is my library. You will remain here until I send my emissary to fetch you. I would suggest that you use that time to educate yourself on the working of the world that you live in. I’ll provide only one hint. My kind never lie, but we don’t always tell the whole truth.” With that he ushered you in and closed the doors behind you. You didn’t hear them lock but they wouldn’t budge when you tried to open them.

Resigned to your current fate you decided it couldn’t hurt to sift through some of the books. Books were friends, they never led you astray. It was people you’d always had issues with, never books. You wandered through the library, awestruck by its beauty. It was a mixture of ornate fixtures, gold threads and salvaged wood and plant matter. It was unlike anything you had ever laid your eyes on before.

“A Brief History of Everything” seemed like as good a place to start as any. It started much like the stories from your childhood, only with more war and bloodshed. It spoke of a great war between humans and the supernatural. The war was multifaceted, with the supernatural beings also fighting against each other. Vampires, demons, fae, changelings, ghouls, elementals, witches and wizards were just a few of the mentioned species, it was a lot for you to take in. If this information was to be true then you had to question your whole upbringing. You closed the book and searched for another. “A Breakdown in Species - The Complete Beastiary” was your next pick. This one told you the features and builds of each race and how they most commonly fit into the mortal world. Unlike the fae, most of the supernatural resided in the human world, only the fae and elementals could exist between the planes. Demons still had the netherworld but only the highest ranking could travel at will.

You continued to look through tome after tome, collecting as much intel as you could. It didn’t matter if this world was real or not, you decided, you just had to play by its rules in order to survive and if there was one thing that you excelled at, it was research.

***

“Why is the human still here?” D.O asked when he brought you down to the edge of the palace, to a small pool that met the ocean.

“The human is right here, and she has a name.” You bit out.

He ignored you as he waited for the prince to respond. You almost laughed at how frustrated he was at not being answered immediately, the prince was otherwise occupied. He was waist deep in the water, tending to a turtle. He might be a jerk but you could not deny that he had a nice back, not that you were staring. “The human shall remain in the palace until we can determine the source of the tear and patch it. I’ve yet to determine if she is a threat to the court.”

“Why not throw her in the dungeons if you think she’s a threat? Why treat her like anything that has worth?” You were pretty sure you hated this emissary. Out of the two of them, he was the bigger jerk. He seemed to want nothing to do with you and you were pretty sure if the prince was distracted long enough, that he’d kill you. Somewhere along the line he’d either been taught to hate humans or one had hurt him so much that he felt the need to take it out on every other human he ran into.

The prince turned to face the two of you, and if you thought his back was pleasant to stare at then the sight of his chest and torso was a delight. Focus. The sunlight reflected off the water, highlighting the droplets of water glistening on his skin. Focus of his face, not his abs, focus on his fucking face! He looked calm as he stood before you, as though the water was centering him. “Until I decide that she is to be treated as a prisoner I will keep her in the palace, where I can observe her. Did you know that her parents neglected to inform her of the existence of any other intelligent life?” He smirked at his emissary who scoffed and continued to look as though he wanted nothing more than to dropkick you into the ocean and never look back. “Was your time in the library enlightening?”

You nodded. “Yes, I think I’ve learned the basics. It seems there has been a lot omitted from my understanding of the worlds history. There is a lot to catch up on.”

“Su- Your Highness, can I take my leave? We have a lead on the whereabouts of the tear and I need to gather the team so that we can patch it.” D.O waited for the prince to respond.

He nodded. “You may go. Report back to me when you return.”

The emissary wasted no time, you weren’t sure if he was just eager to do his job or if he hated being around you that much that he had to disappear that quickly. “So,” You started. You’d decided you were going to attempt to breach this topic the next time you spoke. “You’re Fae.”

“Rudimentary deduction darling. Did my books not teach you anything of worth?”

“Cut me some slack, I’ve only been learning for a few hours.” He cocked a brow at you, waiting for you to continue speaking. “There are seven courts in the Fae lands. There was conjecture about the number of princes, some texts cite seven while others cite nine, though from what I could work out there are seven princes and two emissaries. Each prince has an elemental affinity, though the true nature of those affinities is not recorded but they require you to attune to the land and your presence helps it to thrive. You rule the Summer Court, and since you rescued me from drowning plus the whole expensive seaside palace aesthetic you have going on here, I figure you have a water affinity. How am I doing so far?”

“So far it would appear that your time was not wasted.” He replied as he lowered himself in the water up to his shoulders. “The texts don’t include much information on the affinities because they differ for each prince. Attuning to the land can be done in multiple ways as well. For example, I’m attuning with the land right now, as I was earlier when you startled the turtles in their nesting grounds when you appeared, and did your very best to die.”

“Hey! I had no choice in the matter, you know this.” You huffed.

“I do, the turtles however, did not. I’ve since explained the situation to them so that they could shift their nesting spot until we repair the tear that you fell through.” He dove under the water, a tail, shimmering and covered in scales that glittered in the sunlight, appeared, shocking you. It must have been written on your face as clear as day because when he surfaced much closer to the edge of the pool that you stood at, pushing his wet hair back and resting on his arms against the side of the pool, his tail shimmering beneath the surface, it was like a slow motion scene from a movie and you had to shake your head to bring yourself back to the present, he smirked at you. “What?”

“Get fucked. How can you be fae & a merman?” You blurted.

He laughed at your outburst. “It’s part of the affinity. I can change shape at will in a large enough body of water. I’m not one of the merfolk, they live on the outskirts of my court, odd bunch. The tail is simply more practical for me to move around the aquatic areas of the court.”

“Show off.” You muttered as you sat down by the edge of the pool.

He grabbed your legs and pulled you into the pool, pinning you between the wall and his body as he glared at you. “I’m showing leniency since this is your first day knowing about the existence of supernatural creatures but don’t be fooled into thinking that you can be so cavalier with me in the future. I am the ruler of this court, you’d be wise to show more respect.”

Your brain told you to shut up, baiting him further would likely result in him drowning you and you’d had more than enough experience with that for one day. You hated the way he and his emissary spoke to you but your sharp tongue wasn’t going to keep you alive if you let it get the better of you. He trailed his finger down your cheek, under your jaw and lifted your chin, tilting your face up towards him. “I think for now it would be better for you to be a little more subservient.” He leant in, his lips pressing against yours as he kissed you. All logic told you to pull away but something about his lips was intoxicating. You gave in to his kiss and felt a pulse wash over your body, leaving a strange tingling feeling. If you were smarted you would have known that the fae could control you in many ways, intimate contact was just one of the more enjoyable ways for them to do so.

***

Days blurred together after you kissed the prince. All you wanted to do was be near him, please him and make him happy. You didn’t even think about returning home. You were blissfully ignorant of the dangerous situation you’d gotten yourself into. He’d held back from further physical contact after that first day. He saw how instantly devoted to him you were and he relaxed, you would not be something he had to worry about for the time being. Unless he gave you a task to do you would follow him around like a lost puppy. He tested you by having you sit with him during one of his meetings, telling you to remain next to him but to keep yourself amused while he worked. Afterwards he questioned you, happy when you admitted that you hadn’t paid attention to the meeting, on the verge of tears when you thought that admission would upset him.

You played along as the spell wore off, keeping up the charade as best you could while you learned about how he truly felt about you. He didn’t care for you, he hardly even thought of you. No, you were simply a new toy for him to play with and you knew that you needed to find a way out before he grew tired of you. Things went swimmingly until he noticed you becoming more aware of your surroundings. He couldn’t have you learning too much about him or his court, not that you would ever leave this place alive. He thought that after the initial kiss you’d remain under his spell but it appeared that he would have to reinforce it for it to last. That night he’d brought you to his chambers and made you cum so many times you forgot your name.

When you dreamt at night, your brain would try to remind you of the life you’d left behind, of what you needed to return to and the dangers of the prince’s court, but by the time you awoke he washed those memories away as he made your body sing in ecstacy. You spent most of your time wrapped in bedsheets, writhing beneath the prince as he used your body for his own pleasure. You learned his name was Suho, he got off on hearing you beg for him. You were addicted to his touch, eagerly awaiting his return to his chambers so he could have his way with you again. You were certain that he craved you, that the sweet nothings he would sometimes whisper in your ear were true. After all, he had told you that the fae can’t lie. You were too drunk on him to realise that these words were not romantic, they were simply appreciation for how your body felt and reacted to him, nothing more.

When you had to leave the bed you loved so much you were barely dressed in anything that could be referred to as clothes. In your mind you felt liberated and sexy, desired and loved when in reality he was parading around his plaything for the rest of the court to see. The sheer pieces of fabric he adorned your body with left little to the imagination. He didn’t care for you but under the haze of his spell, one he made sure to strengthen every night, you truly thought that he loved you. He hadn’t had a human plaything before, he’d alway thought it was beneath him but his brothers had often insisted that having one was an immense amount of fun.

He was beginning to see the truth to his brothers words. He recalled the words of the Autumn Prince “When you grow tired of fucking them, the new game is breaking their minds and watching them beg for death. They are truly pathetic creatures.” He’d remembered how his brother had laughed at how one such pet had begged for the mercy of his fire to end her life, because if he didn’t love her then how could anyone?

“Suho, I have an update for you.” D.O’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“What is it?” He replied.

“The tear has been patched, it was located in the demon district, right near The Cardinal. The seven deny any knowledge of the tear but unlike our kind, they are well known for their lies.” He paused, sneering at the mention of the demons. “Regardless, it is sealed and warded on both sides of the tear. I sent word to the other courts to see if any of our brothers had visited the area but everyone who has responded has been less than polite about telling me that they would not be stupid enough to jump planes in any district other than the fae controlled one. Sehun & Xiumin were most recently in the mortal realm but they both used the bar as their means of travel.”

“Who hasn’t responded?” He asked.

“The solar courts. I sent word via their emissary but Baekhyun, Chen & Lay have not answered us. I’ll check in with Kai tomorrow. Until then, is there anything you need?” He asked.

“If they don’t answer by tomorrow we’ll have to pay them a visit.” He had no desire to see his brothers from the solar courts, they were much more eccentric than the seasonal court princes. “I’ll have you visit Chen. I’m not in the mood to be electrocuted again, no matter how funny he thinks it is.I’ll see to the other two.”

“I would normally object to setting foot in the Night Court but Chen is the least bothersome when compared to the other two.” He shuddered as he recalled his last encounter with his Day Court brother. “Will you be bringing the human?”

Suho pondered bringing you along. He was pretty sure his spell over you wouldn’t wear off before he returned, and as much fun as it would be to distract his brothers with his human plaything, he needed them to focus. “No, she’ll be too much of a distraction for them. I’ll never get an answer out of them if she’s there.”

“I’d say she wouldn’t survive Lay, but we both know that he’d restore her physical body once he finished having his sadistic brand of fun.”

“His gifts come in useful during times of conflict.” Suho reasoned.

“You’ve never had to be healed by him have you?” D.O asked. His brother shook his head in response. “He can heal all wounds in a matter of minutes, that much is true, but he can only heal wounds that, if left untreated, would kill you.” He paused, taking a breath to calm himself. Suho waited patiently for his brother to continue speaking. “In order to heal me, he had to bring me to the brink of death first and he gets very creative in how he does that.”

The two brothers continued to plan out their potential journey. Agreeing that if they had to visit the solar courts, it would be smarter to visit Day & Night separately and tackle Dawn together. Without the help of their other emissary travel would take longer. By the time he got to bed that night Suho was too exhausted to be bothered with using you for pleasures of the flesh, sleep sought him out the moment his body connected to the mattress.

When no world came from Kai the following day they wasted no time in preparing for their journey. Suho had far too many things to organise before leaving, ensuring the palace ran smoothly, leaving instructions with his second in command to leave you in his room. He was sure that his spell would not wear off in the two to three days that he’d be gone.

What he was unaware of, due to his ignorance, was that the influence he had over you would normally take weeks to wear off, given how often he had been fucking you, but it diminished at an accelerated rate the further away from you he was. The first day he was gone you did nothing but roll about in the bed, imagining the ways in which you could service him upon his return but as night crept in you started to waver, finally feeling curious enough to wander back to the library.

In there you found books on fae spells and how they had a long history of toying with humans. It made your skin crawl. For the first time in weeks you started to think that maybe he didn’t care for you, maybe he was just using you. The thought was too depressing for you to dwell on, after all, you were stuck here, and if you were going to be stuck here you might as well believe that it was by choice.

You tossed and turned all night, dreaming of home and of the strange woman you had encountered all of those weeks ago. She’d asked why you dreamt of the sea? Now the thought of it made you sick. You needed to explore, to find the one area of this court that was not by the seaside.

In the early hours of dawn you fled the palace, thankful that all of Suho’s guards paid you no attention, thinking you were wandering about in a haze. At least he’d had the decency to tell is guards that you were off limits. You were his plaything and he did not like to share. You wandered down corridor after corridor, weaving your way down to the ground, then begun your journey West. To the East was nothing but ocean, and you figured if you headed West you would eventually find a spot where you couldn’t hear the sea or taste the salt in the air.

You hadn’t realised how weak you’d become, but the lack of proper nourishment made itself clear the further you trekked. You felt dizzy and hot but you pressed on until your body gave out on you, collapsing into the soft grass at your feet. Grass, not sand. If you’d had any liquid left in your body you could have cried. You never thought you’d be this happy to see grass again, it was almost sad. You curled up, hoping that you were safe, though not really caring, and waited for some of your strength to return. You knew there was no way you’d make it back to the palace before Suho returned and once he worked out that you’d strayed from his bed… well you couldn’t be sure how much longer he’d keep you around. You’d like to think that if he cared at all he’d forgive you and let you visit home but you would be foolish to believe your own lies.

***

“You look like shit.” The voice startled you. You couldn’t even pretend to still be asleep because you’d felt your body jump at his words. Slowly you opened your eyes, expecting the worst. What you hadn’t expected was to see that it was now night time and that a short, but respectful distance from you sat a man draped in an intricate robe, tending to a small campfire. He tossed a blanket towards you as he began cooking something over the fire. Your stomach grumbled at the sight of the meat roasting. “Don’t you know it’s dangerous for a human to be out all by herself in these lands?” He asked.

You sat up, wrapping the blanket around yourself as the thin flimsy fabric of your clothing no longer felt liberating but rather, you felt too exposed. You stared at the man, trying to work out what he was and if you could tell him the truth or if that was just likely to get you killed. His eyes met yours but you did not see any malice in them. All you saw was kindness and wisdom. This man had to be older than he looked but you got the feeling, one you had no way of reasoning out logically, that he would not harm you. “I had to leave the palace.” You started.

“The clothing, or lack thereof kind of gave that away. I am not here to judge, and I am not a member of this court. I’m only here because certain plants grow here and I needed to restock my stores. Will you tell me your story in exchange for a meal and advice?” His tone held no judgement and you felt oddly at ease. It could be another trick but you were just so tired of having no one to talk to that you decided to throw caution to the wind and accept this strangers offer.

You nodded and moved closer to the fire to warm yourself. “I was visiting Lankhmar, I don’t even know how long ago… it feels like months now, and I was on my way back to my hotel after visiting the market when I fell through a tear. I landed in the ocean to the East, near the palace and started to drown. Something or someone saved me and when I came to the prince and his emissary questioned me.” You paused, unsure of how much to tell, unsure of how much you wanted to have to admit was true. “I was kept by the prince, I thought… I thought that he cared for me b-but now I’m not so sure. I left the palace. I don’t know why but I just needed to find somewhere that didn’t smell of salt, somewhere I couldn’t hear the waves crashing.” You were shaking by the time you finished telling him your story. He’d go back and ask further details as he slowly pulled the whole thing from you.

“The fae are tricky creatures. The princes especially. Some are twisted beyond repair, using and discarding human playthings with ease. Others, like the Summer prince, have not been known to use humans so for him to have kept you, he must have felt something for you. Now this is not to say that he hasn’t abused his power over you or that he has treated you with care, because he hasn’t. He has used you to satiate his own needs but clearly he did not realise that his influence over you would wear off faster when he was away.” He sat back and handed you a skewer of meat. You waited a few moments before you gave into your hunger and began eating, careful to not burn your mouth on the food.

The meat was unbelievably delicious and tender, you only wished there were like ten more skewers. The man handed you a bowl of broth and tore you off some bread to have with it. As he ate he ruminated over your current situation. “I can offer two options to you, but ultimately, the decision is yours to make. One, you can stay here and leave with me tomorrow. I can return you to Lankhmar and you can adjust yourself back into life there, or, option two, I can provide you with a charm that will negate the princes hold over you. It will not last for more than a few days but it will show you if he truly cares for you or not. I will only be in these lands until the sun sets tomorrow, after that the tear I came through will be sealed.”

“Who are you?” You asked.

“I’m just an old mage who isn’t a half bad cook.” He chuckled. “You can call me Siwon.” He smiled warmly at you.

***

You trudged back through the hills the following day as you tried to keep your tears at bay. You’d been stupid, hoping that if you gave him a chance that he’d tell you all of the things you longed to hear. The mage’s charm worked and for the first time you truly saw how Suho treated you behind closed doors. He was not soft or loving, he was selfish, taking what he needed and not caring about your desires. You’d made one simple request and he had denied you. You knew that you needed to leave, this place would be your grave otherwise.

You arrived at Siwon’s campsite with moments to spare. The sun was beginning its descent in the sky, casting a pinkish glow across the sky “Please,” you puffed, having pushed your body to its limits to get here in time. “Take me back, I can’t. I can’t. I ca-”

“Shh child. I understand.” His voice was calming. He took a step towards you and wiped the tear that had started to fall from your cheek. He spoke gently. “I’ll return you to Lankhmar but understand that it will take time for you to readjust. Food will taste bland, the colours will seem dull and you will feel empty. Time heals all wounds. I’ll ward your room against danger and I’ll leave a protection charm with you in case they come for you. I might be old but I’m not useless.” He held out his hand and waited for you to take it before stepping back through the tear.

***

Either Siwon’s protection spells had worked or no one had bothered to try and track you down because after a month of constantly looking over your shoulder as you wallowed in your heartbreak, you’d finally started to move on. You weren’t expecting the heartbreak, especially since you knew he’d used you but regardless of the spell you’d been under, you’d fallen for him. There had been moments, fleeting moments but still, the existed, where he had shown kindness to you. It was those moments that you struggled to let go of, hoping that there was a shred of decency in him.

You’d been gone for a little over five months, and when you returned you’d viewed the city in a completely different way. Before he’d left Siwon had told you how to spot tears so that you didn’t accidentally fall through one again.

You’d caught wind of a local P.I who took on cases that were too odd to be real. Most people thought she was a shark, taking hapless fools for whatever money they threw at her for their unsolvable cases. Some people even thought the cases were made up. When you heard of the disappearances of young women your interest sparked. How many of them had fallen to a similar fate as you? You spend weeks trying to find the P.I’s office, less than impressed to find it right at the border of the demon territory. You had been avoiding them almost as much as you’d been avoiding downtown. You were never going to set foot there if you had any say in the matter.

The fact that the door was unlocked should have been your first warning sign but at the time you figured if a human was investigating the supernatural then standard human locks weren’t going to be high on her list of things that would keep her safe from danger. Sophrosyne - Private Detective. No case is too strange or deranged. You chuckled as you passed the bold lettering on her door.

The office was empty, which wasn’t necessarily odd. She might have been out on a case. You wandered about, trying to find a business card to at least get a phone number so that the trip wasn’t an entire waste of your time. You just wanted to help shed some light on the missing girls. If they were taken by the fae then you might be able to provide valuable information that could help get them back. You were proof that people could return from the fae lands and you refused to believe that you would be the last.

When you couldn’t find a business card you amended your search, trying instead to locate scrap paper and a pen. You’d leave an email address, a phone number was too traceable and you didn’t want to leave the hotel’s number in case any fae were sniffing around for you.

You were so absorbed in your search that you didn’t notice the blonde man enter the office. He leant in the doorway, watching you for a few moments before deciding to make his presence known. “What are you doing here?”

You jumped, almost hitting your head on an overhead cupboard. You turned and watched him carefully. He wasn’t human, no, there was something other about him. Power seemed to ripple off him, a kind you hadn’t felt before but had been warned about. The flash of black in his eyes confirmed what he was to you. “Demon!” You exclaimed.

“I have a name for fucks sake.” He growled before straightening up and plastering a fake smile on his face. “If you’re here you’re looking for a P.I. What seems to be your trouble, I’m sure I could be of assistance. For a price.” His tone dripped with honey, meant to draw you into his web of deceit before tricking you out of your soul. Siwon’s charm had little effect here but it did pulse as a way of warning you against the danger you were stepping into.

“Please, drop the act. I am not in the mood. If the P.I isn’t here then I have no business with you.” You turned to leave, not willing to engage with the demon further. You only hoped that he was a standard demon, if he was one of the Seven then you might not leave here unmarred.

He stalked towards you, each step smooth and calculated. Like a lion stalking its prey. “Well aren’t you just no fun. Honey, no one makes the trip out to Syn’s office just because they want a chat. Only the desperate come here. Why not reconsider my offer to assist?”

“Sometimes the wicked will say things just to confuse you.” You deadpanned.

“At least you’re not as dumb as you look.” He sighed. “If you’re looking for Syn, she’s not in right now. She’s busy being a martyr, or a fucking idiot, who knows. In the meantime I’m here.”

“And what do I call you?” You asked hesitantly.

“Avarice.” He grinned, setting all of your nerves on edge.

 A/N: Thank you for reading, comments are always appreciated! They keep me going, I’d love to hear from you.

[userseokkie]

Met Gala, Stony, 2.3k

In honor of the Met Gala tonight, I whipped up this quick fic. It’s so self indulgent but it’s fluffy and short. No smut, but I might be persuaded to do a follow up. Enjoy!

***

The flashes of the cameras were the first thing Tony could notice even before the limo rounded the corner. The paparazzi were swarming the entire entrance and media vans were parked well down fifth. 

While Happy was busy cursing every poor reporter that dared get in the way and mumbling god knows what, Tony checked his phone one last time, thumbing a quick email before sliding it back in his pocket. He glanced over at Steve. 

“You know, if you’d only let Carla style you-” 

“I’m fine, Tony. What? This is just a gala.” Steve peered out the window, his brow pinching slightly the way it always did when he got nervous.

“Jesus, I already told you, this isn’t just another gala, this is the Met Gala and Anna trusts me to carry this event-” 

“Just say it. Just admit you’re embarrassed by me and that I’m hideous and not worthy of being your date,” Steve said with that deadpan tone he used, and god his jaw could cut through glass. Tony bit his lip unconsciously, trying to get rid of inappropriate thoughts. This outfit was too tight to be getting hard.

Through the honking, Tony shrugged and smiled despite his efforts. “You know you’re the only one who could be my date, stud.” 

Steve’s eyes softened, a glint on his blue eyes as they focused on Tony. 

“I mean, Natasha and Clint are going together, Thor is bringing Jane and I’d have more luck convincing Bruce to smoke up with me than bringing him to one of these things. You were the only one left, obviously.” 

“Tony.” Steve rolled his eyes. “I just don’t see what the big deal is, we go in, we have dinner, we donate some money to keep the museum funded.” 

Tony was about to object to how Steve casually referred to 1.5 million as some money, but their car came to a stop. “We’re here, boss.” Happy announced. 

Steve looked at him once more, an expectant look on his face. “Do I really look bad?” 

The theme for this year was Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, which, duh. Of course it was important, when Anna had called Tony and asked him to host, it was a no brainer. This was practically made for the Futurist, and the media had gone ballistic when they announced Tony was co-hosting. This entire thing was built on the Mark LVII. Not to toot his own horn, but Tony had really outdone himself with this one. 

Dragging his gaze up and down the super soldier in front of him, it was hard to be objective. But Steve certainly didn’t look bad, he just looked... like himself. The Met Gala was meant to go outside your comfort zone and push the envelope on what fashion meant, if Jan had taught Tony anything, it’s that fashion is for the brave and bold. And he was anything if not ballsy. Steve, however, in his all black suit, head to toe Dior, looked like a devil put on Earth to tempt Tony into unspeakable acts. Did it scream fashion and technology, though? No, it didn’t. 

“Honey bunch, you look like sin incarnate.” Tony slid across his seat, making to get up. He leaned in, grabbing onto Steve’s bicep for support. “And I’ll make sure to let you know just how crazy you are making me with that outfit right after this thing is over.” His whisper made Steve shiver, and when he looked at his face, Tony could laugh at how big Steve’s pupils had become. He counted it as a win. 

He slid his sunglasses on and turned to the door. “But now, it’s showtime.” 

***

The steps in the main entrance were covered in a plush red carpet that felt thicker than some floors, and Steve appreciated the decoration lining up each side. People must have worked real hard for this event. 

“Tony! Tony, over here!”

“Tony, who’re you wearing?” 

The photographers were going nuts over Tony. Steve could swear a woman had fainted in the entrance. 

“This is a Stark original, darling,” Tony drawled, and twirled to let them get a good look.

And boy, was it a sight for sore eyes. 

The celebrities coming in were starting to gather around, some walking slower to let the photographers get a good shot, some talking with the cameras over on the steps. But not a single person had so many people focused on them as Tony. He had worked with those designers real hard, and what they’d come up with was a piece of pure technological genius that managed to look amazing and unreal at the same time. 

Nanotech, Tony had called it. Steve had sit through the entire explanation about the nanotubes and how Tony “would be damned before he let another ant sized fucker get into his suit,” but he’d only use it to design a new Iron Man armor until last year. When he received the news he’d be hosting the Met Gala, Tony had called one of those world famous designers and they’d work on this outfit for seven months. Versace, Steve thinks. 

The result was a nanotech armor that felt like fabric and looked like fabric, with the density of a hair and the resistance of a Falcon 9 spaceship. The suit managed to look slick and bulletproof at the same time, and well, the way it hugged Tony’s ass was reason enough to be here. 

Steve saw Tony’s arm reaching for him, and he walked up to join him in front of the cameras. “Dazzle them, Steve.” Tony grinned at him, and Steve felt his heart grow a little bit. God, he loved this man so much. 

The flashes were getting a bit too overwhelming for Steve, the way they always did, but even he had to admit it felt kinda good to have Tony on his arm and the whole world to see them. He had always admired Tony’s philanthropic nature and his tech genius, and the world needed to admire it too. 

“A kiss, give us a kiss!” 

The guys with the cameras egged them on, and since Tony liked to put on a show so much he figured he could do this for him. Tony looked at him and shrugged slightly, as if saying “it’s your call, Cap.” 

Good thing Steve’s reflects were so fast. He slid his arm behind Tony’s back and with the other one he held his left hand, putting his leg behind Tony’s thighs quickly.

The photographers started dog whistling and cheering when Steve swooped Tony and dipped him into the ground, kissing him softly. 

He felt Tony sighing and his lips parting, and it took all of Steve’s will to keep the kiss short and sweet, instead of doing what he really wanted to do. But he couldn’t resist swiping his tongue over Tony’s plush bottom lip once. 

He parted the kiss, but remained with Tony dipped like a princess for a second. The chocolate eyes he loved melted and blinked up at him. “Woah, you’re pulling out all the tricks tonight, Captain.” Steve felt inner pride swell at Tony’s slightly dazed expression when he said that.  

“Well, I have to make up for my terrible outfit, don’t I?” 

After that, they continued their stroll down the entrance, stopping to talk to reporters and saying hi to some of the other guests. Tony stopped to talk with George Clay? George Crowley? Whoever, he was familiar from that movie they went to see last month. 

“Hey, Steve,” A voice behind him said. “You look awfully ordinary today.”

Natasha came with Clint in tow, as Tony had said. Her red dress reminded Steve of a knight’s chainmail, but he couldn’t tell if it was made from the same material. “Nat, you look like a fairy tale. Where’s the charming prince?”

“Hey, right here.” Clint piped in. Well, he was wearing a suit just like Steve was. Except he had put on a type of metal prosthesis over his arm. Great.

“No, really, where is he?”

“Very funny, Cap,” Clint punched him with his metal arm. “You might wanna stop the banter and make sure someone doesn’t steal your man.”

Natasha arched an eyebrow, looking over his shoulder. 

Steve turned around to see Tony chatting with a different guy from the movie actor. This man was tall and blonde and- well, he looked like a real dickhead if Steve was being honest. But Tony didn’t seem to mind, as he was deeply in conversation telling a very entertaining story, judging by the man’s laugh. 

He shrugged. “I might have to take some measures.” 

Nat smiled at him, knowing he was joking, and pat him on the shoulder. “I’m sure he can fend by himself any potential suitors.” 

“Hey, did you see Thor?” Clint turned his head, cackling. “Holy shit, he’s gonna start summoning thunder soon.” 

And Thor was a few meters behind them in the main photo stand with Jane by his side, the media couldn’t get enough of him. He was swinging Mjolnir around, his cape glistening with the camera flashes. 

“Hey, that’s cheating.” Steve frowned. “He’s just wearing his regular battle outfit.”

“Well, how much fashionably avant garde can you get when you’re an Asgardian god?” Natasha tilted her head. “I think they look cute.”

“Yeah, just wait til he pours a storm over them. One of the paparazzi almost pushes Jane out in the curb.” Clint said. 

Tony appeared right beside Steve, his suit catching the light. “Hey Barton, lost your Robocop helmet back there?” 

“For your information, this is Armani. Not all of us can get a custom made armor suit.” 

“Miss Romanoff,” Tony kissed Nat’s hand. “You look particularly deadly today.”

“Thank you, Shellhead. I was going for that.” 

A reporter asked them to pose for a group photo, and then when Thor joined them they had to go through another eight rounds of posing for every media outlet in existence. Steve was getting a little bit antsy, but luckily the dinner came after this. He could eat. 

The darlings of the night were Tony and Nat, obviously. They posed for some duo photos and Steve had to admit, the sight of the two of them together could probably turn any man or woman, no matter the sexuality. 

Nat’s firey red hair was styled into a short, disheveled bob with bangs reaching her mid forehead. Her dress, now that Steve had seen it properly, was part dress and part chainmail indeed. She looked stunning. 

But Tony, Tony was on a whole new playing field. Right after the announcements and the opening speech, the media asked for some last photographs. Tony humored them and as the crowd rose into applause, he tapped something in the arc reactor (or nano case as he had called it), and the suit transformed right before them.

Steve had seen the way the tubes formed over Tony’s body many times, how it looked almost like a living entity, swallowing Tony, spreading around him to protect him. He must admit, he had been a weak man more than once and dragged Tony right after a debriefing into the nearest closet or conference room and, well. Let’s just say it’s incredibly easy to fuck someone wearing nanotech tubes, as they need to just open up around the right parts. 

And now the crowd was going crazy with it. The suit formed arm gauntlets, and then in the back, something that resembled the flight stabilizers that the armor often had came up, forming a circle of long spikes framing Tony’s head, with an almost regal nature. The suit went from a steel gray to the classic red and gold colors, and Tony smiled. Steve was getting as hyped as the crowd with this, honestly. 

“He’s born for this, it’s ridiculous,” Steve heard Clint say behind him. He thought of other adjectives rather than ridiculous, but whatever. 

***

The dinner was good, but it wasn’t shawarma or some greasy spoon’s cheeseburger. “God, I’m so getting burgers after this,” Tony mumbled, placing the fork and knife over his plate in a cross. 

“Tell Thor that, he just asked for doubles and the head chef had to come and tell him they don’t do ‘doubles’,” Steve chuckled next to him.

Things had been surprisingly well. The exhibition was exquisite, as always. Tony had to go find Anna for the final speech, but things were sailing smoothly. 

“Hey, how are you holding up?” Tony placed his hand over Steve’s on the table, turning to glance at him. “I’ve been so busy mingling and being the MC, I hadn’t checked up with you.” 

Steve smiled at him, nodding. “I get it, don’t worry. You’re the main attraction. I’ve been perfectly alright just sitting back and watching you.” 

Tony definitely did not blush at that. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, well, it’s easy to just stand back and look pretty when you have the experience.”

Steve put his hand on Tony’s thigh under the table, squeezing slightly. “Yes, it is. But I might have to stop sitting down and be right behind you, like a bodyguard. What with all these men coming after my fella.” 

Tony snorted. “Like a bodyguard, huh? Like Whitney Houston and Costner?”

“Have we seen that one?”

“No, I don’t think you have,” Tony tried to remember. “Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t end well for them.”

Steve’s hand felt warm and solid even over the nano layer of the suit. 

“But yeah, I might have to step up. I’d hate to cause scene at this fancy event, though.” Steve said, looking at Tony sideways. His smile was charming as ever.

“Captain?” Tony arched an eyebrow. “Are you getting jealous over here?”

Steve lowered his head, looking down at his hand on Tony. “I mean, I can’t blame them. You’re a vision in that outfit tonight.” 

Tony felt himself getting hot under the collar. Steve praising him always did things to him, weird, mushy things, dammit. 

“Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.” Tony peered at Steve through his eyelashes. “Remember what I told you in the car? Cause I’m good on my word, soldier.” 

He enjoyed so much getting Steve riled up in public. His lips parted slightly, his eyes always widened and his jaw started clenching when he tried to control it. Steve never looked more attractive.

“Well, you better sweetheart. Because I have some ideas for this suit of yours.” Steve said quietly, his hand moving higher up Tony’s thigh and squeezing right before taking it away and turning his body, acting like nothing had happened.

Tony almost combusted. Right before he could suggest taking things to the restroom, he heard a voice in the speaker call his name. It was Anna. 

Dammit, time for the closing ceremony. 

Steve chuckled as he made his way up the chair. “You’re so paying for this, Steve,” Tony said, getting up behind him. 

“I sincerely hope I do,” Steve replied, biting his lip. He put his hands on Tony’s shoulders and patted him, a big smile on his face. “Now go get them, tiger.” 

Tony was adding this to the list of Reasons Why Steve Isn’t America’s Boyscout And He Has Everyone Fooled.

[zwritestuff]

Arthur [Jaida/Jan] One-Shot

Jan and Jaida get a pet together. 

A/N: I wrote this because I’m obssesed with the dynamic of these two in the Waitress AU. Also because we could all use a little bit of fluff in our lives. :) Hope you enjoy! It’s not beta-ed, so please excuse the mistakes.

(also- I’m tagging this as Jessence because that’s now their ship name according to me, and this is the hill I’ll die on. You can join me or fight me.)

Jaida pinches the bridge of her nose, trying to remain calm and not yell at her girlfriend.

“Jan,” she begins in a warning tone. But Jan still has that pout and puppy eyes in her face that, most of the time, is enough for Jaida to give in and comply with her girlfriend’s wishes. But not this time. “We can’t have a pet, we don’t have the time to take care of one,” she says slowly so that Jan understands.

Jan is silent for a moment, an expression of pure disappointment settling in her face as Jaida pats her shoulder, thinking she won. But she jerks her head up again soon afterwards, putting on a smile again.

“We can get a low maintenance pet! Like, I dunno, maybe a hamster? Oh, or we could get a fish!” She offers with excitement. Jaida sighs, ready to say again why they can’t have a pet, but Jan proceeds before she can say anything. “Please just consider it. I grew up with all kind of pets, and I feel like that’s what been missing in our apartment, y’know? The only thing left to consider it a full home.”

Jaida purses her lips. She is very much aware of the fact that although Jan had been delighted to move in with her, there was something missing according to her. Jan had tried to shake away that feeling by buying a few indoor plants and placing them on the windows, then it was filling the empty spaces in the wall with pictures of them and their families, and after that it was remodeling the apartment.

Considering none of those things had helped her, Jaida has to admit it’s a valid point. She sighs in defeat.

“I’ll think about it,” she merely says, Jan beams and gives her girlfriend a short kiss.

At night they go to work at the restaurant like they always do, so Jaida doesn’t really have much time to think about it like she promised between taking orders, serving the costumers and enduring the daily kitchen shenanigans.

Jan kisses her on the cheek whenever she gets the chance and she’s as smiley as she always is, but after their previous conversation her happiness hits different.

The next day is their day off, so Jaida sits with Jan in their couch and they have a serious talk about owning a pet and what kind they should get if they decide to get one. There’s also a talk about commitment and how getting a pet together is a huge step for them; Jaida doesn’t dare to step into the ‘what would happen if we break up and out pet is in the middle’ conversation yet.

They both agree that first they should check with their landlord on what kind of animals are allowed, or if animals are allowed altogether.

A couple of days later they find out that small animals are allowed, and he’s willing to turn a blind eye with medium sized dog breeds.

Almost right off the bat they settle on not getting a dog or a cat; Jaida is right when she says they don’t have time to train a dog, and although cats are pretty independent beings Jan happens to be allergic to them.

They research a lot before going with the most obvious option: a hamster. They’re easy to take care of, are mostly nocturnal and don’t require any kind of training, just need to be provided with tunnels and wheels to entertain themselves. It’s perfect.

Jan insists on doing a little more research on hamsters because if she’s going to be a hamster mom, she’s going to be the best one out there — she even tries to polish her craftsmanship skills by making tiny things for their future hamster child. Jaida lets her be and joins to the craft hours sometimes, just because her girlfriend looks genuinely happy when she does and she likes seeing her happy.

Naturally, being waitresses they don’t have that much money to throw away by buying hamster stuff, so they do a budget and the math says they should save up for one to two months to afford all the stuff hamsters need.

For Jan the days go awfully slow and she does her best to serve even the grumpiest costumers with a smile if it means she’ll get better tips. Meanwhile, Jaida is only aware of the passing of the days because every day when she wakes up, aside from the usual kiss she gets from Jan while she’s doing breakfast, she says out loud the date before crossing it in the calendar.

When they have enough money they buy on Craigslist a big enough cage, tunnels, and miscellaneous things Jan insists will make their new baby happy before actually getting it, just so they can be prepared.

Though Jaida doesn’t show it nearly as much as her girlfriend, she is actually really excited, having written down a couple names she likes and all.

The day finally arrives and Jan is vibrating with happiness as they walk to the pet store.

Before she can run to the hamster cages Jaida firmly takes Jan’s hand and stares right into her eyes.

“Babe, remember all the research we did, okay? We’re just getting one. Not two, just one. Normal hamsters don’t like being housed together.”

Jan scoffs and starts to walk through the store, still hand in hand with Jaida.

“I’m not a child, Jay. You don’t need to tell me that.”

“I know, babe; you’re a grown woman capable of taking rational decisions. But you are like a human puppy, y’know,” Jaida says with a laugh and Jan gasps offended.

“I am not!” She complains, letting go her girlfriend’s hand to fold her arms. Jaida cocks a brow with an amused smile.

“Honey, if we hadn’t agreed on buying a hamster beforehand and just came into the store to buy whatever spoke to us, we’d be walking out with all of the pets available,” she points out, and Jan would fight her if she wasn’t right.

Sometimes Jaida thinks her girlfriend’s heart is too big; otherwise she can’t come up with an explanation as to how one human can have so much love to give.

They study all of the hamsters in the store for a solid ten minutes before Jan finally narrows it down to two buddies that she has absolutely fallen in love with.

“They’re both so cute, I really can’t decide,” Jan says in an apologetic tone, but her girlfriend gives her a soft kiss in the cheek, looking at the ones Jan is pointing at.

“The one with the caramel fur and white spots is cute,” she simply says, and Jan gives her a toothy smile before wandering off to search for an employee.

On their way home they discuss about what will they name their son —well, according to the employee it’s a boy, but you never know—, though it’s more like Jaida is throwing names and Jan is peeking through the holes in the box every other second and not paying much attention to Jaida. She lets her be because, what the hell, she’d do the same if she was holding the box. Besides, Jan looks really cute like that.

When they get home Jan decides his name is Arthur. Jaida inquires her why with an amused smile, barely holding back a laugh when Jan starts showing him around the apartment.

“Well, it’s the name of a king, and he’s my king now,” she explains as she looks at the hamster as if it’s the most precious thing in the whole earth. “I think you should hold our son too.”

Jaida cups her hands and Jan gently leaves Arthur in them. Jaida brings him closer to her body and if Jan later says she cried a little when Arthur pressed his tiny nose against her chest she’ll say she has no proof.  

[exhaustedfander]

I Confess [Dumus]

I did it, I wrote some angst! I'm pretty much purely a hurt/comfort kind of girl so this is very unlike most of my writing but it was fun nonetheless! Sorry my first Dukeceit piece ended up being so angsty! But to those of you who enjoy angst and dukeceit, come get y'all juice! I’d love to hear what you think and reblogs are really appreciated! Have a nice day/night! 

a03 link

word count: 1,038

“I confess, I’ve never been as good to you as I should’ve.” Janus blinks in confusion.

“What’re you talking about?” He asks, his words thick with confusion.

“I’ve never treated you the way you should’ve been treated. I’m so sorry for that, Jan.”

“Remus is this another one of your jokes?” Janus asks, confused by the uncharacteristically serious expression on his boyfriend’s face. “Because if so, I am not amused. I don’t know what you’re going on about.”

 He can’t wrap his head around it. Just minutes ago they’d been making pleasant conversation over dinner and now here they sit, an uncomfortable silence looming over them. He wonders, for a moment, if this is Remus’s strange, convoluted attempt to breach the topic of a breakup. The thought of them ending things is something that shakes Janus to his core, and it certainly would be coming out of the blue.

“There’s so much I should have said,” Remus continues, ignoring the question altogether, “So much I should’ve done…” He trails off, his face twisted into a sad, contemplative expression. Janus wonders for a moment if there’s a chance that he knows – no. No, of course not. He's been so careful.

Janus pokes at his dinner with his fork, his appetite having left him.

“Dear,” his eyes are still on his plate as he says this, slow and cautious, “What exactly are you trying to say?” Remus remains silent for a moment before speaking again, his voice booming with newfound determination.

 “I’m saying: I’m going to try harder this time. To speak my mind and tell you exactly how I feel. I promise I won't keep anything from you anymore."

 Now that’s odd. Janus hasn’t ever been under the impression that Remus has been keeping anything from him. His boyfriend is an open book as far as he’s concerned and someone who rarely shies away from dishonesty. Remus has his moments of repulsiveness where he probably shouldn't say absolutely everything that pops into his head, but truthfully, Janus has always admired Remus’s candidness. He’s unabashedly himself with confidence that most people could only dream of.

Now though, Remus’s words are alarmingly vague. He’s dancing around something, but the tense air of the room tells Janus he shouldn’t prod any further, at least not right now.

Still, when he looks at Remus his boyfriend is wearing a smile so infectiously bright Janus can’t help but join in. Come to think of it, he can’t recall a time that he’s seen Remus look so genuinely happy. He’s seen many manic grins as Remus types up a storm of yet another horror novel, his boyfriend slicing up characters and writing bloody ending after bloody ending. He’s seen twisted smiles and false ones, but a smile that exhibits such glee? Janus hasn’t seen that in quite a while, and it lifts his spirits to see Remus so happy, even if he fails to understand the cause.

He decides that he’ll breach the subject tomorrow and allow Remus to enjoy the relief he must be feeling for admitting...whatever it is he just admitted.

“Then you do that, dearest,” he decides on a nice, non-threatening string of words sure to appease his boyfriend, “You should know you can always be honest with me.”

Remus doesn’t respond to that, but Janus takes the smile on his face to mean that he understands all the same.

The couple go through the rest of the evening as happily as ever. They have a couple of drinks and watch one of Remus’s favorite horror movies, which only seems to elate his mood even more so. Whatever’s going on in that head of his, a question Janus rarely knows the answer to, it seems like things are going to be just fine.

They almost forget all about the conversation altogether, at least Janus does. That is until they lie down in bed together and Remus shuts out the lights. Before Janus can even get out a “Goodnight,” Remus’s hands are around his throat beginning to squeeze.

Janus thrashes, gasping for air that’s impossible to intake, trying to break the hold. He kicks and squirms, but Remus’s grip is unrelenting and it’s only tightening as the seconds crawl on, like a boa constricting its victim.

“I’m speaking my mind now, dearest!” Remus shouts manically, and Janus begins to go light-headed. “I’m acting on my feelings, too! I’m treating you how you deserve to be treated, you cheating son of a bitch! You didn’t think I’d find out you were screwing my brother? You fucking piece of shit! But don’t you worry, your dear Romeo won’t be far off. Once I’m finished with you I plan to cut him into tiny little pieces! Red always was his color, after all!”

Oh, Janus thinks with the last bit of thought he has left. He hadn’t even known Remus had suspected a thing. The absence of his smile, Remus’s writing becoming even more grotesque and violent recently. How could he be so foolish to not read through the lines? Janus prided himself in his ability to lie, but it seems he must’ve lost his touch somewhere along the way.

He thinks of his boyfriend’s writing. This demise is so more minimalistic than most of the killings he describes. There’s no blood, there’s no gore just a pair of hands around his jugular and a loss of airflow. Will Roman’s death be as flashy as he describes? Will Remus really cut his twin into “tiny little pieces,” strewing his organs and severed limbs across the lawn and laughing all the while? Will Remus paint himself in the crimson of Roman's blood, his smile unyielding?

Janus tries, in vain, to wiggle free one last time, imagining his face turning blue in the darkness before his consciousness begins to break.

He thinks lastly of how even in all of his demented writing, Janus had never imagined Remus was capable of anything of this level. He’d written of do many atrocities, but Janus had always thought of him as harmless in comparison. A fatal mistake, it would seem. The last sound Janus hears is that of Remus laughing over him, loud and joyful before the darkness envelopes him.

=+=

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

BTS Reaction: Their crush's boyfriend forgets their name and speaks badly of them behind their back

Namjoon

Namjoon was taking a break from the studio and was walking around the city when he noticed your boyfriend walking in front of him with a friend. He immediately tensed up. It was because he thought your boyfriend was an absolute ass who didn't deserve you. Every time he saw you two together he could see how fake he was with you, and it hurt him to see you smile at him so genuinely. He has liked for a long time but never made a move because he didn't want to interfere with your relationship. The conversation your boyfriend was having with his friend was further proof to Namjoon that this sorry excuse for a man didn't deserve you. "Man why are you still with that girl anyway? You could do so much better she's so boring." He hoped your boyfriend would defend you but that wasn't the case. "I don't know. Honestly she's just a place holder. I plan on dumping her as soon as I convince my ex to forgive me and take me back." That did it. Namjoon sped up his walking until he was standing directly in front of your boyfriend. "Hey you're that guy what's her face is friends with right?" "Are you fucking kidding me. You don't even remember her name? You don't deserve her at all. You're lucky I don't believe in violence or you'd be a bloody fucking mess on the floor." "Hey seriously, back off my relationship with y/n is none of your business". At that Namjoon grabs him by his shirt collar and glares at him menacingly. "Alright listen you absolutely trash of a human. You better leave y/n before she gets in too deep with you. She's not a place holder. She's an absolute angel and if you can't treat her as such you need to walk away. Now." Your boyfriend scoffs at him. "Tch. Yeah? What're you going to do about it?" Namjoon's expression darkens and your boyfriend is actually intimidated by him at this point. "I'm an idol. Idols know people, have connections. I can absolutely destroy your life with one phone call. So I say again, and don't make me repeat myself. Leave. Her. Alone." Your boyfriend's eyes widen as he takes in his words “O-okay. Sorry. I’ll call her tonight and set things straight.” Namjoon smiles at him and pats his head as he walks away. He’s going to head to your apartment and make sure he’s there for you when he calls. He’s not going to make a move on you so soon after your breakup, but he’s going to make damn sure you know he’s always going to be there for you through anything.

Jin

Jin was appalled by the words that were coming out of your boyfriend's mouth. He had seen him at a restaurant while he was picking up lunch for the guys and for you. Your boyfriend was sat at a table looking awfully close to some girl that wasn't you. Jin hated your boyfriend. Not just because he had a massive crush on you but because he was the biggest moron and asshole on the face of the earth. He never understood why such a pure, sweet, innocent soul like yours would fall for such a piece of shit. "When are you going to leave that frumpy girlfriend of yours? What's her name?" Your boyfriend laughs. "I don't even remember does it matter? I plan on dumping her soon anyway she's so annoying. She gets on my nerves so much I don't even know why I asked her out probably because she was so desperate." Jin is fuming. He wants nothing more than to punch your boyfriend in the face as hard as he can. Instead he settles for telling him off in the loudest way possible. He walks up to the table and slams his hands on it startling the pair out of their conversation. "Oh it's you. Jun or Jan or whatever the hell your name is". "I could care less if you don't remember my name but after today you're never going to forget my face. I guarantee it. You don't even remember your own girlfriends name? The fuck? Were you dropped on your head as a child?" "No one asked for your opinion or for you to eaves drop on my conversation. Now fuck off and mind your own business". Jin walks around to where your boyfriend is sitting and gets right up in his face and jabs a finger into his chest. "I'm only going to say this once so you better fucking listen to me. I see you within 20 ft of y/n and you're going to regret it. Not only will I make your life a living hell but I'll chop you up into pieces and shove you into a blender and feed you to the sharks. No one will ever find your body. As an idol I have connections with people who can make that happen. Now repeat what I just said." Your boyfriend looks terrified as he takes in the sight of Jin's crazed expression. He really put on the theatrics. He’s never been more thankful for his university courses in acting. "I won't go near her. I promise you'll never see me or hear a peep from me again." Jin’s expression turns cheerful as he saunters off to collect the food he's ordered. He's going to tell you everything that happened today. He never hides things from you and he's not about to start now. He just hopes you aren't too angry with him, as he thinks he finally has gathered up the courage to confess to you. He wants to make sure no disrespectful scumbag ever touches you again.

Yoongi

Yoongi had taken you out to keep your mind off the fact that your absolute dick of a boyfriend had broken plans with you again. Yoongi loved you so much and it hurt him to see you constantly disappointed and let down when he knew you deserved so much better, when he knew he could treat you like the queen you were in his eyes. You two were sharing drinks and laughing when suddenly he saw your expression fall. Your boyfriend was here with his group of friends. "That asshole doesn't look very sick to me." You couldn't even disagree with him because he was right. He'd lied to you. With the alcohol in your veins suddenly boosting your confidence you decided to confront him. Yoongi following close behind you. When your boyfriend saw you he put on a smile. "Hey babe! I think I just might have had food poisoning but good news I'm feeling better. I was going to call you but I figured you would have already made plans." "I'm not stupid. I know you lied to me. If you don't want to be with me anymore just say so. So I can move on with my life." "But I do want to be with you...uhm." Yoongi had enough. You boyfriend forgetting your name when it was the first thing he thought of in the morning and the last before he went to sleep had his blood boiling. He grabbed your hand tightly and pulled you protectively behind him. "You're fucking joking right? You've been with her for two months and you don't even remember her name?! I outta beat you within an inch of your life, you fucker." "Yoongi stop.. Let's just go he's not worth it." He turns around and his expression softens as he looks at you. "Princess I'm sorry but I'm not going to let him step all over your heart any longer.” Your boyfriend gets very close to Yoongi’s personal space and you can tell Yoongi is about to snap. “I don’t like the fact that you have your hand on my girlfriend. And I really don’t like the fact that you just called her princess. She’s not yours. She never will be. You’re just a friend to her so quit trying to be a white knight it’s not going to work.” You boyfriend holds his hand out to you. “Let’s go.”  You can see Yoongi’s visibly deflate at his words and at this point you’ve had enough. Your boyfriend can say rude things to you all he wants but he’s not going to talk shit to Yoongi. “No. I’m not going anywhere with you. We’re done.” “You can’t be serious.” “I am 100% serious. I’m not going anywhere with you. Yoongi was right you are an asshole.” You turned around tugging Yoongi after you. You pause and look back at your now ex-boyfriend, “And by the way if Yoongi wants me to be his I’d accept his confession in a heartbeat. Because he treats me how I deserve be treated, like a queen.” You don’t make it all the way out of the bar before Yoongi grabs you and kisses you passionately, putting every emotion he has for you into the kiss. As he’s kissing you he glances out of the corner of his eye to see your ex staring at the two of you, and he doesn’t hesitate to flip him off as he grabs your hips and pulls you closer to him.

Hoseok

Hoseok hates seeing you so sad. Yet again your jerk of a boyfriend left you showing up in tears at Hoseok’s apartment. “Oh honey what happened? What did he do now?” Hoseok immediately lifted you into his arms and gently set you down on the couch next to him. He held you close as you cried into his shoulder. He rubs your arm and kisses the top of your head as he tries to comfort you. Hoseok loves you, and to see you constantly hurt when he knows you would be so much happier with him breaks his heart. When your breathing slows and your sniffles calm down he gently asks you again what happened. “He pocket dialed me while he was with his friends. And I heard every awful thing he said about me. He couldn’t even remember my name and he was saying such horrible things about me.” Seeing Hoseok mad is a scary thing. He is usually so happy with you and to see his expression darken startles you. “What exactly did he say about you?” “That I’m annoying. That I was desperate for him and that’s the only reason he asked me out. Because he thought I would be an easy lay.” Your voice breaks off at the end as you start crying again. Hoseok pulls you into his chest and whispers sweet and loving words to you until you fall asleep in his arms. He picks you up and lays you down in his bedroom, tucking you in and placing a soft kiss to your forehead. His heart flutters when your hand reaches out to grab his wrist and you ask him to stay. “I’ll be right back angel, I promise.” He walks out of the room and immediately calls the company to get information on your now ex-boyfriend. He finds out his name, where he lives, and what is personal social media pages are. He logs into the BTS twitter account and posts links to all of this guy’s social media pages with a message. “Hey ARMY! It’s your hope. This awful man hurt my best friend badly. She has been crying nonstop for an hour and just cried herself to sleep. Maybe go send him some messages?” He knows within a minute the tweet will be deleted by the company but it doesn’t matter, he’s already accomplished what he wanted. He’s already seeing replies flood in under his tweet with army showing support for you and for Hoseok, and words of hatred towards your ex. Hoseok comes back into the room and crawls into bed with you. The way you move closer to him automatically seeking his warmth and comfort makes his heart soar. He pulls you close to him, making a silent promise to himself to confess to you once everything blows over. 

Jimin

Jimin is absolutely head over heels in love with you. But he never told you because you were in a relationship. He absolutely hated your boyfriend. He treated you terribly and yet you still stayed with him. Jimin would take a bullet for you, he cared about you so much and thought you were the most amazing girl in the world. He made up his mind that he was going to confess to you. He was tired of seeing your heart broken by this man when he knew you would be so much happier with him. He was on his way to your apartment and he overheard you two fighting from the hallway. The front door was cracked open so he peeked inside to make sure you were okay. Both of you had your back turned to him as he overheard what you two were fighting about. “I heard you talking shit about me to your friends. You really think I wouldn’t find out? You think I’m desperate? You think I’m annoying? That I’m too clingy? Does that ring a bell?” Jimin tenses up as he hears this. How dare your boyfriend say such terrible things about his precious angel. “Listen uhm..” Your boyfriend said a name that wasn’t yours and you had it. “Get out of here. Now. We’re done.” Your ex goes to grab at you and Jimin can’t take it anymore. He shoves the door open and grabs your ex by his shirt and throws him away from you. Jimin holds an arm out protectively to keep you behind him. “You lay one fucking hand on her and I’ll break every bone in your goddamn body you hear me?” In all the years you had known Jimin you have never seen him mad, it was terrifying. You didn’t doubt that if you weren’t there he might actually make good on his word. “Whatever. I don’t need some chick like her anyway. I got girls lining up to wait to be with me.” He storms out of your apartment and slams the door. Suddenly Jimin’s gentle expression returns as he cups your face in his hands and kisses your tears away. “I’m sorry he said those awful things to you angel. But you know they aren’t true right? You’re not clingy, you’re affectionate and I love that. You aren’t annoying, you are way too precious and the world doesn’t deserve you but it needs you.” “Jimin... Thank you. For everything. I don’t know what would have happened if you wouldn’t have shown up.” He pulls you close to him and kisses your forehead. “Y/n I don’t want to rush anything, but just know that I love you. I’ll wait until you’re ready but I would love it if you gave me chance to show you how a man is supposed to treat his lady.” You can’t help but smile at him. “I would love that.”

Taehyung

Over the past few months Taehyung was finding it harder and harder to hide his feelings for you. He was becoming more physically affectionate with you, letting his touches linger a little bit longer. Kissing you closer to the corner of your mouth then your cheek or forehead like he usually does. You suspected that he liked you, and to be honest you liked him too. But you didn’t want to cheat on your boyfriend and you didn’t want to hurt him. Taehyung had voiced his disapproval of your boyfriend on multiple occasions. He treated you horribly and he hated seeing you waste your tears on someone who didn’t deserve them. One day you and Taehyung were out walking together as he took pictures around the city. You never noticed but when you weren’t looking he always took photos of you. He thought you were the most beautiful he had ever seen. When you stopped at a park to take pictures of the scenery there you noticed your boyfriend sitting on a bench flirting with some girl. Taehyung already started making a beeline for him but you grabbed his hand and held a finger to your lips to signal you wanted to overhear their conversation. “Come on. I told you I was going to break up with her soon don’t be mad at me.” “How do I know you are actually going to leave her?” “Because I don’t have any feelings for her. At all. Shit I can’t even remember her name because yours is the only one I’m thinking of.” You wanted to gag. Taehyung however had boiled over and he wasn’t about to stay quiet anymore. “Her name is y/n you absolute idiot. God you really don’t deserve her you know that? She is more precious than anything or anyone on this planet and you treat her like dirt. If I wasn’t an idol I would bash you over the head with my camera right now.” Your now ex looks at him terrified. “Uh! I didn’t.. I mean. Shit.” You finally decide to speak up. “You know what? Thank you. I am so glad I overheard this conversation because now I don’t have to waste my time with you anymore and I can be in a real relationship with someone that I love and who takes care of me. Someone who has always taken care of me. Someone who has always been there for me. Someone who makes me laugh when I am upset, someone who has held me as I was crying because of the things you’ve said and done.” Taehyung looks over at you as he hopes that you are talking about him. You look right at him as you continue speaking. “Someone who looks at me like I am their entire world and someone I look at the same way. A certain man, with shockingly bright blue hair and boxy smile that could light up the world.” Taehyung has heard enough. He immediately grabs your hips and pulls you into him as he kisses you passionately. You two completely forget about your ex, you two are in your own little world. Taehyung pulls away and murmurs against your lips. “You have no idea how long I have been wanting to do that. How long I have waited to hear those words out of your mouth. I love you, y/n.” “I love you too Tae.”

Jungkook

“I hate your boyfriend y/n.” You knew something was bothering Jungkook but he wouldn’t tell you. He just kept sulking on your couch while you tried to watch a movie together. “What? Why?” “What do you mean why? He’s an asshole and he treats you like shit and you should break up with him.” You furrow your eye brows at him. “What are you talking about Jungkook?” A few days ago Jungkook had been out shopping at the store when he spotted your boyfriend out with his friends. When he heard his friends mention your name his ears immediately perked up and he listened in on their conversation. Your boyfriend couldn’t remember your name, but his friends did. And he was saying such hurtful and untrue things about you. He didn’t say anything to you because he didn’t want to interfere with your relationship but he felt terrible for keeping this from you. Hence why had been sulking and partially avoiding you for 3 days. “Promise you won’t get mad at me?” “I could never get mad at you Kookie you know that.” He tells you everything. About how he overheard your boyfriend, how he couldn’t even remember your name, how when his friends started speaking badly of you instead of defending you he joined in. You just stared at him and didn’t say anything. “I knew you were going to get angry with me. I’m sorry I kept it from you y/n I really am. I’ll leave now if you want.” “No! I mean.. no I’m not mad, you don’t need to leave. Please stay Kookie.” He wraps his arms around you and hugs you close to him. You feel like you should be sad but you aren’t. Are you hurt by his words? Absolutely. But for a while now you’ve known that you and your boyfriend weren’t going to work out in the long term. Not with a certain doe-eyed man with a bunny smile constantly on your mind. “Are you going to be okay?” “Yeah Jungkook I’ll be just fine. Guess I better call him and let him know we’re over huh?” “Yeah.. or you could just ignore him. Not like he’ll care I’m sure he’ll take the hint.” A mischievous smirk spreads across your face as you think of a way to not only confess to Jungkook but piss your ex off in the process. “Yeah we could do that. Or I have a better idea. Come take a selfie with me Kook.” “What? Why?” “Don’t question me! Just come here.” He moves closer to you and you press your faces together. “Kiss my cheek.” He starts blushing furiously up to his ears. “What?!” “Kiss my cheek Jungkook. Just trust me okay?!” He presses his lips to your cheek and right before you snap the picture you turn your head and kiss him square on the lips. He jumps in surprise and pulls away but you were able to get the photo you wanted. You sent it to your now ex and sent it with a caption that said That’s okay. I don’t remember your name either. The only name I am going to be remembering from now on is Jungkook. You turn to Jungkook after you send the photo and find him still frozen in place. “You okay Kookie?” Your voice snaps him out of his daze. “What the hell was that?!” “Well, I broke up with him and confessed to you. Killed two birds with one stone as they say.” “Wait you like me?” “Of course. I thought it was obvious. Why do you think I’m not upset that I am now single?” “No you’re not.” “What?” “You’re not single. Because I like you too. I want you to be my girlfriend.” You agree without hesitation and pull him in for a sweet kiss. 

[kathyprior4200]

Alastor and Astrology

Alastor potential birth chart

January 24th 1896, New Orleans(Jan 24 1986 is the birth date of voice actor Edward Bosco.) Alastor died in 1933 getting shot in the head and on the wiki, it said he was in his 30’s when he died. 1933 minus 1896 equals 37. I figured that the dark hour of 3:00 am would be fitting for him.

Sun in Aquarius

 Friendly and sociable, you may have a wide circle of acquaintances. Friends are very important to you. Intellectually oriented, you are happiest with friends that share common ideas and interests. Strangely, you find it more difficult to cultivate a truly satisfying intimate relationship. This aloofness exists because feelings are rarely expressed outwardly, and you usually seem distant. You resist anything or anyone threatening your independence.

Alastor is shown being sociable to Charlie, Angel, Husk, etc. He’d be happy with Charlie, Mimzy, Rosie, who share his love of singing and dancing. With a constant smile on his face, Alastor tries to never express what true feelings he may have at the moment. Anyone threatening his independence like the overlords or perhaps his father would likely not live very long.

Moon in Taurus

A Taurus Moon emphasizes the material side of life, and emotions are centered on the comforts and possessions in life. You tend to be a collector and an accumulator of the things that, in your view, make up the "good life." With the Moon in Taurus, you want the best that life has to offer, and you find it difficult to settle for less. The emotions are earthy and practical, highly attracted to material possessions and the satisfactions that come from material comforts.  Sense impressions are very strong, the sense of touch and taste is highly developed, and you probably have a pleasant speaking and singing voice. At least you are fond of music, art, dancing and all things that make life more pleasurable. You innate good taste probably extends to decorating the home and having a great sense for interior design.

Mercury in Aquarius

 In Aquarius, Mercury produces a mind that is original, detached, and abstract. Ideas come to you as bursts of insights. Your mind is hyper-active and going constantly. Thoughts are rarely organized, rather arriving in flashes and fragments which are often the seeds of invention and progress. The thought pattern is scientific and dispassionate.Your ideas may sometimes be considered very progressive and some may be well ahead of their time. Your unique approach will prompt some to label you as being a little crazy or at least eccentric. You like to do things that are unusual or avant garde just to shake up the establishment and create controversy. You have no respect for tradition and little concern for the lessons of the past. You are a pure progressive. You love to rebel against the system in supporting causes and ideas that are controversial and revolutionary.You are very intuitive, and accordingly, an excellent judge of character. Being very fair-minded, you judge people by what they seem to know or what they do, rather than who they are or what position they occupy. You believe strongly in equality and fair play. A humanitarian, you support ideas and programs that assist those less fortunate than yourself, and you support the concepts of total social reform.You're witty and open to a wide range of ideas, but at times, you become mentally fixed in your opinions and very stubborn. You are talkative and social, but you often come off as rather aloof and cerebral. It may be hard for you to find common ground in many social circles. Nonetheless, you are very verbal and enjoy expressing you views to anyone who will listen. Writing and speaking both come easily for you.

Theory: in his human life, Alastor resisted the racist standards/discriminations, being part Creole and having a mother who wasn’t white. He most likely killed off anyone who had bullied him. It is possible that Alastor will redeem himself by working with Charlie and the other protagonists to stand up against the Archangels, overlords, and/or Lucifer. They who claim that “demons deserve to die” or the overlords who wish to brainwash the populace in Hell would face Alastor’s wrath. The name Alastor means “spirit of vengeance/tormentor,” after a figure who wanted justice for familial issues. It could be good or bad (tormenting innocent people or tormenting evil people, both of which Alastor would relish in.)The speaking/writing aspect could translate into him speaking in his radio broadcasts. The Aquarius symbol can represent water, electricity, or in his case, radio waves. Venus in Sagittarius

You are humorous, sociable and even a flirt. Outgoing and personable, you are very friendly and sometimes not too serious. There is a strong love of personal freedom in your nature that makes it a little hard for you to settle down to a restrictive sort of relationship. You feel more comfortable in a relationship when things go slowly, and your partner doesn't get too serious too fast. In fact, you would probably like it better if the relationship stayed casual, and pressures of serious love never emerged. Threats to your freedom make you very nervous. Deer need their freedom and Alastor is no exception. Throughout the show, we see him socializing and casually flirting with Charlie, Husk, and Vaggie with dramatic gestures, invasive physical touch and in Charlie’s case, dancing. He likely did the same thing with his companions as a human. His humorous side comes into play with his dad jokes and clown-like demeanor. Mars in Capricorn

You are hard-working, very determined. Since much of your energy is focused on your career, you have a tendency to become something of a workaholic. There is a drive to satisfy professional ambitions. This is likely to manifest with innate managerial skills and good old-fashioned common sense. You have strong material urges, but even stronger is the need to get status and recognition. To attain these ends, you use your energy in very practical and profitable ways. You have little use for laziness or a lack of ambition. Alastor is ambitious when it comes to getting what he wants, whether through charm or brutal force. He was likely a workaholic at his job as a radio host. In Hell, he conquered many parts of Hell, killing those who stood in his way “seemingly overnight.” His goal is to take over all of Hell and broadcast his victory, via overthrowing the king of Hell most likely. Not only does he enjoy the finer things in life and the afterlife, he also enjoys the recognition that comes with it, both admiration and fear from others.

Jupiter in Leo 

Jupiter is in Leo in your chart. This placement of Jupiter suggests optimism, self confidence and generosity. You have much physical energy and a strong constitution. You have a dramatic flair in showing off your status and prosperity; you're big on grandeur in all forms. Your dignified demeanor inspires confidence and produces excellent leadership qualities. You expect appreciation and admiration in return for your benevolence, and you may seem a little offended if you don't always get it.

Being one of the most flamboyant characters in the show, Alastor lives for drama and showing off. Broadcasting his killings and conquests, both as a human and demon gives him great joy and affirms his powerful position. He appears dignified in nearly any situation, not fazed by Sir. Pentious’ attack nor when Charlie refuses to make a deal with him. With Jupiter in Leo, one could say that “theater is his religion/worldview.”“The world is a stage, and the stage is world of entertainment.” Saturn in Scorpio 

Saturn in Scorpio adds much purpose and impatience to your nature. You demand much of yourself and of others. You approach responsibilities with an intensity of purpose that overwhelms people who won't carry their share of the load. You have terrific willpower and much energy. With your determination, it's hard to remain calm and reflective. Secretive and unforgiving, you resent it deeply when you are treated unfairly. Despite your strong drive for success, your approach is usually subtle and calculating.

Scorpio represents the supernatural, Saturn represents misery and death. With so much dark energy running through Alastor, it’s no surprise that he became known as the infamous Radio Demon. Alastor doesn’t like to be treated unfairly, both as a human and demon, and those who do would quickly meet their end. He does have a subtle approach to his plans, observing Charlie’s family portrait with great interest, summoning voodoo symbols when Charlie isn’t looking, watching Charlie sing on TV with fascination.He is demanding on Niffty, Husk, and Vaggie. He bribes Husk into greeting the guests and working at the stand with booze, summons Niffty to clean the hotel, and telling Vaggie to smile. “One never plans a murder out loud.” Uranus in Scorpio 

Many of your peers born during the years when Uranus was in Scorpio are apt to bring about massive and often disruptive changes. The seeds of revolution and instability may take root from within this group. Uranus in Scorpio tend to be rebels. Their determination and strong will keep them heads above anyone else. But it may not be obvious at first. Uranus in Scorpio is more of a dark horse that you don’t see coming until the last second. That’s when they pounce.Disruptive changes included the 1929 stock market crash, the Great Depression, war, Alastor’s murders and his death by a bullet through his head.

Neptune in Gemini 

Neptune in Gemini are in awe of the world and want to learn as much about it as possible. They are sociable and great communicators. But they and also be drawn into fantasy and illusion. They can also be taken advantage of if they’re not careful. Theory: this might explain Alastor creating illusions using his magic, as well as music, song, and dance, as Neptune rules the arts. Wanting to learn about the world could have been his desire as a child. He may have been taken advantage of in his human life, thus deciding to take advantage of others to make himself feel more secure.

Pluto in Gemini 

People during the Gilded Age between 1882 and 1914 were often optimistic, fashionable, sociable and arrogant (describing Alastor and how he was brought up by society).Things in the world seemed to be improving, getting people positive to the extreme. However, things were getting bad and there were cracks in the worldview. The rich and the poor, duality is associated with Gemini. Constantly immersing themselves in deeper and more intense experiences than ever before, they reshape their thinking patterns continuously, ever evolving, ever becoming better. Love and affection are also very beneficial to their state, as it points to them they are appreciated and that it’s worth it to have a bright outlook for the future.

What could Alastor’s ascendant be? 

Leo, Gemini, Capricorn, or Sagittarius Sun in Aquarius, Moon in Taurus The combination of your Sun and Moon signs produces a personality that people find easy to like and admire. This is not so much for what you do as it is for what you don't do. You’re never petty or small, and your appeal is to those in the higher as well as the lower rungs of society. You don't pester people with your worries and anxieties, but when others come to you, you drop everything to listen to their problems. You're interested in people, and like to be around them as an observer, but somehow maintaining a distance and not getting too involved individually. You rate people not on their position or rank, but simply on whether they interest you or not. You have a certain self-sufficiency about you, and you never feel that you have to put on airs to impress anyone. You have all it takes to be executive, except the desire that would be required. You seem to be devoid of any domineering or missionary spirit, willing to "live and let live." This combination blends the originality and independence of Aquarius, with the determination and powerful will of Taurus. These two fixed signs together give a will that is so strong that it may become obstinate and intransigent. Happiness can depend on assuring peacefulness and harmony in environment or home life, and in respect to human relationships. 

Sun opposed Jupiter 

The opposition of the Sun and Jupiter suggests an over-expanded ego. Jupiter deals with judgment, and with this aspect, the drive for significance is subject to being overemphasized. There is often a tendency toward extravagance and pretension. You can have too much optimism, and promise more than you can deliver. There is a continuous need to control urges to enter grandiose schemes and avoid ostentatious manners. The strength of this aspect lies in your ability to apply much charm to gain the approval of those you deal with in your daily affairs. There is often much talent and creativity associated with this aspect.

Sun trine Pluto 

The Sun in your chart is trine Pluto giving you a highly evolved power of concentration and will. You have a way of mobilizing your talents to reach your goals. You have many leadership abilities, but you may not be so interested in leadership. You focus instead on your personal agenda. You often display an attitude of righteous indignation toward those who bend the truth and take advantage of others. You are an extremely perceptive person. There is much investigative skill associated with this aspect, and your insight in human motivations can serve you well in fields of behavior sciences. You may not always agree with people, but you understand them very well. Moon opposed Uranus 

The Moon and Uranus form an opposition in your chart. This opposition suggests a conflict in your life regarding emotional matters. The Moon denotes emotions and Uranus produces unstable situations. Thus, you may be called on to deal with unpredictable emotions that may appear as nervous tension. It may require conscious effort on your part to maintain a responsible role in your domestic affairs.

Moon opposed Saturn 

The opposition between the Moon and Saturn suggests a negative mental attitude and often a restriction of the spontaneous flow of ideas. Intellectual responses are somewhat slowed. Even if you are very bright, the inability to express self in other than a prosaic manner often hides real mental abilities. Thus, you are more contemplative than conversational, but nonetheless a good listener. Venus conjunct Mars 

The conjunction between Venus and Mars shows a strong desire nature needing expression. You are the aggressor in relationships with the opposite sex, and you are ever eager and aggressive in making social contacts, as well. Artistic endeavors may be an active outlet for your hyperactive nature.

Moon square Mercury 

The square formed between the Moon and Mercury suggests conflict between your mind and your emotions. You have difficulties making reasonable judgments because your feelings get in the way. Irrational decisions place you at odds with people sometimes, and you have the feeling that you're being treated unfairly when this may not be the case. You dwell on trivial personal matters and may have a real sense of insecurity.

Mercury square Uranus 

Mercury in a square aspect with Uranus speeds the perceptions, and quickens the intuitions. At times you can be erratic in your drive to be independent. Your speech can become sarcastic and brusque, and mental energies can be wasted in temperament. You love a battle of wits and will take the other side of just about any argument just for the fun of it.

Mercury trine Neptune 

The aspect between Mercury and Neptune suggests you're a practical idealist with an intuitive mind. Because your intuition is so highly developed, you understand what motivates others in their relationships with you. You have an artistic imagination and the skill to express it well. You can visualize objects or processes in your mind, much as though you were looking at a finished product. In this regard, your mind is very inspirational. You communicate effectively, and with a flair for dramatic delivery. 

Mercury square Saturn The square between Mercury and Saturn suggests mental restraint and strong ties to traditional ways of thinking. Mental processes are on the pessimistic side. You worry too much, often about unimportant details. You have much concern about succeeding or failing to succeed. Your education may have been rigidly disciplined and conforming to traditional doctrine. There is a tendency because of this, to uphold the established order and resist change. Numerology

A = 1

L = 3

A = 1

S = 1

T = 2

O = 6

R = 9

1 + 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 6 + 9 =23  

2 + 3 = 55 Destiny number 

http://astrology-numerology.com/num-birthname.html

The number 5 Destiny suggests that the direction of growth in your lifetime will be toward becoming a harbinger of change, freedom, and progressive thought and action. The number 5 Destiny potentially endows you with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You must develop in ways allowing you to do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is the constructive use of freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you must be the master of adaptability and change.As you mature, you must become good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this will give you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Whatever you do, you have the capacity to be clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.You must learn to accept changes as they come along and avoid clinging to the outdated. Avoid rebellion, and focus on enlightenment and progression thinking that will benefit mankind. You life is broadened by gaining an understanding and an appreciation of all kinds of people.The Destiny 5 will be welcome in many varied professional environments. The public sector is a natural for you because you must administer to all peoples. The media, advertising, promotion, publicity, all types of selling, and entertainment are all potential fields that may interest you. Settling on a single career may not be in the cards for you, as you are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests. Alastor: Jan 24 1896 Charlie: July 3 before 1830s Husk: age 60-75Died in 1970s1970-75 = 1895VA birthdate Dec 10 Dec 10 1895 Niffty: age 22Died in 1950s1950-22 = 1928 March 22 1928 Vaggie/Vagatha: died in 20142014 – 22 = 1992Voice actor birthdate May 10May 10 1992 Angel Dust/Anthony: died in his 30s 1947Voice actor birth date June 17 19951947 – 30 = 1917 June 17 1917

[cracks-and-chaos]

A Unique Chrysanthemum

Transcribed from Vogue Vol. 17, Issue 2 (Jan 10, 1901): xii

If you think this a paper on the newest species of the Japanese flower, you were never more in error, for it is all about a white dog, of whom we can never speak without prefacing the word dear. Just before his advent into our circle, we devoted a large garden space to cultivating chrysanthemums. In due season these decorative flowers were gathered to embellish the house on the occasion of grandmother’s golden wedding anniversary. 

A day or two previous to this festal occasion, a friend presented us with a little Maltese poodle. His soft white coat, like crinkled silk, fell over his eyes like a cascade, until one wondered that he could see anything. But nothing escaped his notice, and when his eyes failed, his acute sense of smell helped him out. Such sweetness of temper, such roguishness of action were rarely combined in such a small dog before.

The morning of the festival there was much ado in gathering the flowers. It was great fun to break the long stems, and stack the great round basket full of the glorious colors. When filled, the children took turns in carrying the basket into the house. No one enjoyed the bustle more than the dog. Such scampering and barking, and such fun dodging feet. The children had a hard time keeping the stems safe, for the dog would make little bounds into the air to try to seize them with his teeth. The last to be gathered were the great pearly whit chrysanthemums, and as we came to the basket, our arms full o the white crinkly petalled flowers the dog ran ahead, and jumping into the basket, sat looking at us with all the bravado possible. His little round head covered with the kinky wite hair, looking for all the world like a huge white chrysanthemum. The dog did not budge, and we stacked our flowers around him. He must have been tired out with his exertions of the morning, or he never would have sat still so long. Surrounded by an admiring group, he was carried with great glee to the house, and jumped out at Grandma’s feet. The children shrieked with delight to see Grandma’s start of surprise, for to her it seemed as if the chrysanthemums had suddenly been given life, and were hopping out of the basket to greet her on this great day of her life. From that hour the dog had a name, and though he is now old, and enjoying life mainly from the outlook of the sofa cushions, he still answers to the name of Chrysanthemum. 

He loved us all, but the four-year-old baby was his especial pet and favorite. Chrysanthemum learned many pretty tricks. He could beg and jump through a hoop, catch a bit of meat, and play dead to perfection, but it did not seem as if he had a thought in the world beyond the pure joy of living and being petted. We never dreamed as we watched him chasing butterflies in the spring or scampering around the heels of Star, our bay mare that he ever had a serious thought in his head or that to him we would soon owe almost everything in life that we held dear. 

Chrysanthemum’s worst deed was performed one windy day in April. We have long since forgiven him everything and only tell of his little peccadilloes to show his fun-loving nature. It was Monday and the clothes hung out on the line. A light wind was blowing the slightly swaying line, with its burden of flapping socks, dresses sheets table napery and what not, was too irresistible for Chrysanthemum’s buoyant nature. For some time I had been hearing little barks of joy, I supposed he was yapping at Sandy’s heels, a favorite pastime. Something at last drew me to the window and there I beheld Chrysanthemum with the end of a treasured tea-cloth in his mouth, rushing to and fro as the wind caught the sail-like cloth. Several tattered garments and sheets blew merrily in the wind as evidence of his play. Needless to say this delightful sport was abruptly ended. 

The Fourth of July was an inferno for poor Chrysanthemum. Every cracker that exploded caused him a nervous shudder and even the crack of a torpedo caused him a fright, while if any one pointed a toy pistol at him, he gave vent to the most melancholy howls. Toward evening he skulked away to a dark retreat, where the scorn of the children could not follow him. He was declared a coward and soon forgotten in the excitement of the beautiful fireworks which followed in the evening. Later we had reason to change our opinion, for during the night I was awakened by Chrysanthemum’s barking, to find that the house was afire. The household was awakened and the children, wrapped in the bedding, were carried out and seated on a garden bench with the nurse. 

The fire gained rapidly and as we emerged for the last time the stairs were well on fire. A frantic bark arrested us and there at the top of the stair we caught a glimpse of Chrysanthemum, barking wildly. His master ordered him to come down, but he only barked the louder, and if ever a dog tried to talk he did. A cloud of smoke passed over him, hiding him, which was too much for his master, who, seizing a great robe from the doorstep, rushed upstairs, burning as they were, and tried to seize the little dog, but Chrysanthemum grasped him by the trouser and tried to drag him down the hall. After a few agonizing moments I saw the master come running down the stairs, still clad in his great robe which I saw covering a bundle. As he rushed out of the house he flung the burning robe from him and there lay our precious four-year-old and--Chrysanthemum. 

The baby was unharmed, but Chrysanthemum’s white coat, the pride of his life, was scorched and blackened. He lay like one dead, and it was days before the little dog recovered and months before the silky hair resumed its glossy appearance. How it happened we could never explain, except that every one being absorbed in the fire did not notice the sleepy baby who thought bed was best and had wandered back up the stairs and into her bed. It was brave Chrysanthemum who found her missing and tracked her by his faithful little nose up the stairs and to the nursery. A larger dog would have rescued her himself, but our little hero was too small, and did the next best thing in barking for help. But for Chrysanthemum, we should all have been burned to death, and then escaping, we should have lost our darling wee one, but for him again.

Yesterday a coward, to-day a hero, as morning dawned, he lay limply on the soft cushion provided, and as we crowded around in loving admiration of the little dog’s courage, he feebly licked the baby’s hand, and his beautiful expressive eyes seemed to say, “You are all here; then I am happy.”