#but its worth every minute
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a tribute to celebrate the finale of the manga that has meant so much to me these past few years
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#ryomen sukuna#toji fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 271#i would tag everyone but ik the most frequented tags in this fandom smh ghsdhfgdfjs#THSI KILLED ME#3 DAYS#IM DEAD DECEASED IN THE GROUND#i knew the minute i drafted the sketch that i would hate myself for it and yeah i was right#but honestly it was worth it it was worth every single hour#i got . lowkey highkey emotional wrapping this up bc like. what a RIDE it's been#ive grown so much since starting drawing fr this series i owe it a lot im so grateful to the things its taught me abt how i like to create#im so grateful fr the people its let me meet#ik it's not over-over and ill be around while the anime catches up but still something abt the manga ending#i'm sentimental u kno?#so i hope that i was able to convey those feelings#to jjk and to every1 who has engaged with my art for it: thank u <3
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day before a 5 day holiday weekend. office empty. got me thinking thoughts.
#thinking about raupi kaur hollie mcnish and the movment of populist poetry#how all media is populist right now and itâs no surprise its happening in a time of economic uncertainty AND a devaluation of art in society#not to mention a rise in anti intellectualism#thinking about how fanfiction is no longer a practice for writing but more an opportunity to get likes and reblogs#every day I see posts about how authors feel pressured to write for a specific character because all others are ignored#to you I say the mass market appeal is NOT worth you writing something you donât care about#your audience of 20 will be more endeared to you BECAUSE you are feeding their niche#thinking about the inherent dichotomy between art and money because once you create for the common denominator you lose something#look at marvel movies - hell the state of movies in general: ZERO intellectual curiosity#everything is made to be consumed by the most amount of people#and it SUCKS ITS FUCKING GARBAGE#art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable#if everyone finds your work palatable then itâs not art itâs content to consume#RANT OVER#⊠or for the next 20 minutes until I get another thing to Think About
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mouthfishing? webwashing? either way, low-qual curly eye since i played both this week lol
#eden.docx#eden.png#mouthwashing#webfishing#mouthwashing is harrowingly good btw go play it if you havent#should take about 3 hours and its entirely worth every minute of it.
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i need a drawfee archive that's got every stupid funny moment documented in chronological, alphabetized order for when i spontaneously remember a really obscure bit that i need to find or else i'll explode. i need to be able to type an extremely vague description in a search bar and have it understand me completely.
#slight tangent but a part of me wants to learn how to edit comps just so i can make one of all their parody song bits#theyre so dumb and they bring me such joy#you could prolly get a 20 minute video thats JUST mr brightside references lol#anyway for context#i had a memory of someone drawing the same image twice pop into my head with no prompting whatsoever#all i could remember was that the colors were funky and the images were droopy?? and im 93% sure it was jacob#and it was too off the rails for me to easily link it to a specific challenge or thumbnail#all i knew is that it felt kinda recent so i spent like 20 minutes scrolling the timeline of every video starting 9 months ago#and i did find it! much easier to find when its within a year thank god. its from 'making art out of our worst spam emails'#specifically jacobs section. and id say the 20 minutes was worth it. the duplication and immediate fade in of the render will always send m#so ye go watch it if youve got nothing else to do. help me justify the time cost lol#drawfee#sea rambles
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a little sketch for @not-so-austen âs âfix-itâ fic Fighting the Fall. Itâs such a beautiful story that made me fall absolutely in love with the idea of these two. Iâm so glad I found it đ„č they deserve everything good in this world.
#you wrote many kinds of forehead presses and i just had to do one đ„č#itâs a slow burn of the highest caliber and worth every minute of waiting#its also probably the longest fic Iâve ever read đ a lovely 400k journey#daryl dixon#paul rovia#desus twd#Daryl Dixon x Paul Rovia#twd fanart#desus fanart#if any of you are desus fans and havenât read it.. I highly recommend it!!#i tried coloring this but i couldnât get it to look right :/#simple is better#misc fanart
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Got my first uni exam today .... wish me luck
#txt#60 minutes for 60 questions is crazy#they're trying to set us up for failure#also even though i love doing the conversion questions and they're super easy they take like 2-3 minutes to do??? and theyre worth the same#as every other question???#lord give me strength#i need strength though im scared ill flop#even though its âopen bookâ#anyway im sure ill be fine#i just need to get a distinction or hd!!!
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"I'm making gifs soon dw ppl!" no one is worried bbygirl, not to be the biggest downer but you are still living in 2013 if you think we're making gifs for anyone but ourselves (and maybe 3 other people) at this point. I have come to terms with this. when I post gifs, I'm not relieving anyone from a drought, but rather just hoping people will not scroll by them without a look and if I'm a lucky, I may see a show of shared appreciation for the content. not posting consistent gifsets eats away at you, and you only. most won't notice unless you go dormant for a long period of time. maintaining a blog should not feel like a job. it's rough out here. post content when you feel like it, and not out of obligation. give yourself a break.
#đ#I have 7k followers & a lot of posts floating out in the stratosphere and still only get around 5-10 activity notifications per 1-2 minutes#I get 20 new posts on the dash every 10 minutes ON A GOOD DAY#its just not worth it to be feeling like you owe something to this place when gifmakers aren't respected anyway#and especially lately people don't care about gifs until they want to argue about their right to repost them
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when midoriya punches the zero pointer at the entrance exam, all might says âshow who you are, embody what it means to be a true hero, nothing is nobler than self sacrificeâ do you think aizawa heard kill bill sirens
#he said that very loud and very confidently#i hold true to the hc that midoriya is so reckless due to his horrific self worth from being quirkless#but a good chunk of it is definitely bc of all might#who through his own issues encourages his self isolation and the worth of his power and what he can do with it over midoriya himself#and then you have aizawa who has spent his entire teaching career hammering home that living is just as important as saving someone#all might nedzu and probably everyone else in the room saw that as a heroic moment#midoriya saved uraraka with an unbelievable move with no reward for himself#aizawa is the only one that sees a kid break three out of four of his limbs and plummet to the earth with no plan to save himself#if uraraka hadnt managed to hit him he wouldve at the very least shattered his other arm#he very easily couldve died#and aizawas the only one that notices#thats why he grills him during the ball throw#he says midoriya cant be a hero bc being one will lead to him killing himself if he doesnt change#bc he saw a kid that would destroy himself at every given chance to help someone else#and hes the only one that realises how wrong that is#its been a minute since ive watched this scene and damn it hits a bit different now#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#go beyond plus ultra#aizawa shouta#midoriya izuku#deku#all might#bnha#mha#save post
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man especially having now read the flashbacks i think about how hard xie lian always tries and how many people have told him that he tries too hard, that he never should have bothered and that doing so made things worse, or even more commonly just hating on him for not fixing things or being arrogant or whatever they think his problem is. and some of those people are probably even coming from caring places!
but before hua cheng, had anyone ever sat next to him and said, you tried and that's good, it matters that you cared, you did your best. nobody could have done better than you.
how badly must xie lian have needed that?
#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#the donghua is making me emotional#this arc made me emotional in the books but what can i say people crying in my ears makes it worse#GOD the way xie lian loses his temper for a /half a minute/ bc he's spent centuries in silence about this#got stabbed through the chest and buried alive to preserve lang qianqiu's heart#and now it's all destroyed#and then the second he realizes that he did something as mild as shout at the person responsible#he breaks down apologizing??#and like. its funnier with the romance parts later but its the same thing#xie lian is still human he can't stop himself from feeling or reacting to things#but he can hate himself for it. he can apologize for ever mildly inconveniencing someone else with his humanity#i don't think he internalizes what hua cheng says here at all#but. at least someone SAID it#at least someone told him what he did mattered and what he intended was worth something#after all that time#and like. you wonder how he can be so cheerful all the time usually despite all the shit that happened to him#but it's because he thinks he deserves every bit of it!!#i feel for hua cheng on a spiritual level i would also move mountains for this poor man if i could
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Love you till my last breath
No, even after that
Even when I'll be a ghost
đ€
#today was horrible#I keep running the same cirlces#but#it's all worth it#when i get home and for that one hour each night#i can forget about everything and feel safe and warm and happy#being able to feel like a child once#is nice#thank you#truly#i terribly miss you#still#everyday#and even when some days i feel absolutely no hope#you somehow show up#i dont know what did i do to deserve this#this feels too nice and im not used to it#its really like my soul#they made me get back my soul i swear#and it's really like something#wants me to stay here and#its so weird#i guess i will stay#even if its hard sometimes#but ill stay#i love you thank you#everyday every minute#every breath i take is thanks to you#truly. i owe you for the rest of my life#for saving me. truly.
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no cuz fr the most unexplainable thing would be how they didnât reunite sooner like,,, Mine could have been staying away because he wansnt good enough for daigo (in his mind) but still i donât think heâd stay THAT far away đ at most bro is down the street at any given time đ
reviews are in for Mine Isn't Dead Actually But He Is Emo So
#snap chats#crying at the thoght of mine and daigo reuniting at the grocery#like yk when you go with your mom and she bumps into an old friend and now youre stuck in a five minute cutscene#yeah that. but your Old Friend was your one true love who you thought killed himself#and now you find out he's just working at the bar around the bend đđđ#stop whyd i remind myself of that tiktok where dudes in a coat rack and is like 'dad is this where youve been all this time'#same shit mine's booking it. hes too embarrassed too ashamed#itd be so funny if every 'dead' character did just get kidnapped by the daidoji#thats the funniest shit to come out of gaiden The Daidoji just being an excuse to bring dead bitches back#not that im complaining its 1000% hilarious as hell vjaLKAEKLJ#gonna see kiryu at the daidoji HQ and act like they dont know each ther#a-fucking-pparently since kiryu doesnt even have a memory of mine in y8 đđđ#genuinely hilarious how thats so ... like no i dont think ill remember the man who tried to usurp my son who he was in love with#and he destroyed my orphanage before killnig himself right in front of me. and my son. not worth remembering at all#at least the vocational school quizzes remember mine đđ
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I might actually start loading up all those ogata screenshots cause Im officially at 600 so I figure I have enough time to finish up the remaining chapters before the queue ends
Im only on chapter 160 too. Half way there....
#golden kamuy#ogata hyakunosuke#whats taking me so long is I am editing the screenshots to be cleaner#Which means every panel i work on takes a few minutes to do at the bare minimum#theyre looking so good though so its worth it#what started off as something to get me art references has evolved into something larger
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OKAY SO GUYS I JUST WATCHED TDV LIVE
IM SO HYPED IM STILL BOUNCING ON THE WALLS OH GOD OH GOD
IT WAS SO SO SO SO GOOD OH GOD LIKE I CANT ACTUALLY PUT IT IN WORDS I JUST WANT TO SCREAM
THE ACTORS? AMAZING, DANCE? AMAZING, SET? AMAZING, VIBES? AMAZING
I literally screamed until my throat got sore at every actor it felt like therapy
Last time we had to leave just at the start of bows and i was so sad this healed me
EMBEREK ITS SO GOOD I CANT EVEN FULLY TALK IN ENGLISH
I got pictures at the theatre and I GOT A TSHIRT
A FUCKING TSHIRT
ILL COME BACK WHEN I CALMED DOWN, MOSTLY BECAUSE I LOST MY DRAFT WHERE I TALKED ABOUT THE SHOW AND I NEED A REST TO DO IT AGAIN
#ill come back with pictures#god the bows#so good#we screamed so much#and clapped for like 20 minutes straight#worth every penny#even if for some reason the actor i went for wasnt there (jegercsik csaba i hope you are doing good#but what the fuck when did the casting change#like yeah the official site says IllĂ©s DĂĄniel but Istg it said Jegercsik Csaba when i bought the tickets#and there is no explanation i could find#oh well#i still loved professor he was cute#alfred#alfref my god#there was a really cute scene in the crypt where he was like on the verge of tears its so cute#Also the vampire ensemble changed my life#more about this tomorrow i swear but its 11am her#e#tanz der vampire#herbert von krolock#tdv#count von krolock#vĂĄmpĂrok bĂĄlja#tanz der vampire alfred#graf von krolock#professor abronsius#its so good
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal đ#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into thatâ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' goâ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'noâ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the worldâ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want toâ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right nowâ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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"Your first full season in the American League (Stockton Heat 2016-17; AHL) you played with Garnet Hathaway, Brandon Bollig and Jamie Devane. And I'm wonderingâthose are 3 tough guys. Did you guys do any work together? Did you ask them for tips and stuff? Because in prepping for this podcast, I'm watching all your fights and like, brother, you know what you're doin'! You know what I mean? You're counter-punching Maroon, you got a good grab, control, you're coming in, you know which guys are lefties so you're working that strategically. You really know what you're doing!"
"Yeah, that'sâIt's something that... I always love being aggressive and fighting, and stuff like that. So I was always drawn towards these guysâGrowing up, watching the tough guys, you watched Don Cherry; my favourite part was always the fighting and the big hitting, and stuff like that. Once I turned proâevery tough guy I played withâI would ask to drop the gloves and for them to show me something.
Whether it's something they always do, something they don't want a small guy like me to do to them...just picking up tips from every single one of them. Huge shoutout to those guys! I played with a lot of tough guys, especially in the American League, and every one of them showed me something that I carry with me to this day.
Right to the first guy: [...] in my Stockton days. He was a Toronto legend growing up where I grew up. He was my stall-mate, he's such a badass, cool dude. I remember dropping the gloves with him in practise, and asking him to show me some things. I'm always trying to learn, and do different things.
When I first started fighting although I asked forâto show me... it's not too comparable because our fighting styles are a little bit different; he fights a different caliber-type of fighter than I do. When I first started fighting I was more a straight defensive fighterâyou know, you hold on and when you see an opportunity you punch, and other than that it's a pretty boring fight. And then as you get more comfortable and you start to learn a little bit moreâget punched in the face a couple times and realise, you know, it doesn't hurt all that much...then you can start to try new things. I still remember the first time I ever threw a left punch in a fight! Definitely a lot of trial and error...
Jamie Devane, specificallyâactually, I remember I got in a fight...Jarred Tinordi blew up Rasmus Andersson in the middle of the ice. I can't remember the hit exactly, but it was elbow to the dome. It could've been clean, I don't know. I remember looking around... we had some tough guys on our team, like we saidânone of them were on the ice. I'm looking around like 'Aw, fuck. I'm gonna have to...I guess it's my number, I'll go...'
I go over and I fight him, we grab on and he punched me onceâwhatever. I go to punch him, I'm like this far from his face...
...So I realise 'Oh god, this isn't gonna work out very well.' I kind-of just hold him out there as much as I can...He's just punching my helmet, I couldn't sleep on this (my left) side of my head for like 2 weeks! Helmet's broken, it doesn't click anymoreâHelmet's broken.
I get in the locker room, I'm like throwin' my shit and Devane was actuallyâI don't know if he was hurt or scratched that gameâcomin' out of the shower and sees me all pissed off, he's like, 'What the fuck happened?' I'm like, 'This fuckingâfuck, Tinordi!' and he was like right away, 'Did he string you out?' And I'm like, 'Yeah, I couldn't fucking touch him! I couldn't get in there!' He's like, 'Alright, tomorrow (because it was a back-to-back) I'll go out with you and I'll show you what to do when that happens.'
He showed me what to do. If it happens again I'm gonna revert back to what he said. I would imagine it's gonna work because he's been in that situation multiple times where he's stringed guys out. He told me what guys do against him and what works and what doesn't.
It's things like that: where I'll go out of my way or they would go out of their wayâbut just that respect to acknowledge how tough...these guys are...they're just as willing to help out a guy that's willing to do something like that for his teammates."
The Buzz Pod | 8.7.24 (x)(x)
"[Devane] is one tough customer! Obviously a lot of guys listening to this probably have no idea who he is 'cuz he's an AHL-lifer, but guys he'sâ"
"I've never seen that guy lose a hockey fight once! Never seen him lose a fight!"
"He's as tough as they come, man!"
#ryan lomberg#i think its so important to hear this fighting diatribe from lombo#it is very much quintessential to lombos fighting philosophy#its a long doozy (4 minutes) but very worth it#go read/listen to it#also ahl appreciation for the grinders#my ears gave up trying to understand which player he named as his stallmate and i shant try to understand it#very much obsessed with lombo sparring with every guy he meets to gain fighting tips like hes natsu dragneel#welcome to lombos fight club#can he please drop a list of all the players hes learned from i need it so bad#also getting the shit beat out of him that devane was like okay well ill teach you what to do so that doesnt happen again#also because lombo was throwing a hissy fit XD#do you know how genuinely wild it is to say âeveryone one of them showed me something that I carry with me to this dayâ about FIGHTING#WHAT ARE YOU A SHONEN PROTAGANIST#WHAT IS THAT#i need to lie down for a long time i love and miss my wife so much#she should be fighting for us :(
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You have to let old people pass on their wisdom to you, it's good enrichment for them
#there comes a point in every old persons life where they must spend 20 minutes giving unprompted advice to the nearest young person#preferably one in their family#and as a young person its better to just let them get it out#they might even say something worth hearinf#but its not likely#now if you ask for advice#they will not give it
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