#but its has happened thrice
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azealiax · 2 months ago
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why is there alway that one person in community living that sucks. and why are they always french.
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abirddogmoment · 6 months ago
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having a prey driven dog is all fun and games until you're trying to convince her to pee in the rain and the grassy area is nothing but a gopher colony
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watermel0ns-dumb-cringe · 5 months ago
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[ June Doe — Day 19 ( @june-doe-2024 )]
Crossover !
mb for missing yesterday chat anyways hi I like otgw a normal amount (lying)
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tamagotchikgs · 5 months ago
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whenever i find someone online with the same nose as me and im like huh maybe my features arent too bad maybe they can b cool and human :] and then they get a nose job a week later
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sabermoonlight1616 · 1 year ago
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Just finished re-reading a fic where mini Alan from Hamefura meets Sayaka from Madoka Magica in a dream, then it got me thinking. . .
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glsneeg-enthusiast · 4 months ago
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i think its very funny when people call me sneeg instead of sneegen like you almost had it and im giving you an award for effort you know
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nessvn · 4 months ago
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i just need to make it to shabbat i just need to make it to shabbat i just need
#😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫#short response due tmrw ; seminar presentation potentially tmrw WHICH I ONLY JUST REMEMBERED ; short seminar quiz to do before friday ;#latin club “homework” which im probably gonna tell my friend i cant continue w bc my weekly workload is already too overwhelming w 3 courses#+ i have to have by thrice yearly lunch w my evangelical godmother which means 3 hour convo half dedicated to getting me to abandon judaism#and half to getting me to repent my sinful homosexual ways and go back to being a nice straight girl#all of which is going to happen in public and she WILL tear up at multiple points of the conversation and it WILL be supremely awkward#when people inevitably start eavesdropping bc let's be real if i were at a cafe overhearing this convo i would be listening in too#and everyone's like 'ugh why dont you just tell her to fuck off' but im the only trans person and the only observant jew she has ever met#two groups against which she already has so many preconceived notions so like. idk it feels like my responsibility#as someone who knows her and who she acc cares about (vs a stranger) to try and give her a different perspective on these things ???#like if me being patient and calmly explaining why i transitioned/why i converted can stop her even slightly from sliding even further right#(and like she's Right Wing like covid denial right wing)#and if it might mean the next trans person or whtvr that she interacts with has it slightly easier then like. sure j can sit through#a couple irritating hours every few months#but its just suuuch a shit time for it like im meeting her thursday after class when i have a massive fucking assignment to hand in on sat#which FUCK gotta add that to the list#☞ annotated bibliography due saturday aka friday bc shabbos#okay okay. im done losing my mind in the notes 😵‍💫👍🏻#p.s.
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showcontrols · 4 months ago
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funniest shit ever is when you read an author's note that says something like 'this will be 3 chapters at most' and then you scroll back up and it's closer to 10 chapters and 50k+ words
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starsandwriting · 8 months ago
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OH FUCK TODAY WAS MAG PROTOCOL DAY
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sweet-milky-tea705 · 1 year ago
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Trans people can refer to me as she in a cunt way, as a treat. Cis people cannot, i will look at them confused and sad like a kicked puppy.
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vee-tdc · 1 year ago
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Its been 6 hours since I walked out of the theater, and I'm still crying about Barbie like holy shit
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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smoking scares me sm bc i cant tell if jt even does anything 4 me. and everytime i do it im like What if im doing it wrong... bc the smoke doesnt taste like how weed smells it kinda just tastes like if i took a leaf and set it on fire and inhaled it. which is what it is.
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snowflakeb0ttles · 2 years ago
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YES PLEASE PLAY HFR THIS IS YOUR SECOND SIGN
ON IT BOSS 🫡🫡🫡
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seahdalune · 2 years ago
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i just tagged a portal post with tf2 fuck im so sorry im so sorry im so sorry op
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betrayalandbetrayed · 1 month ago
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reblogging for the mention of the black footed cat
FUNNIEST fucking shit that comes with making Danny eleven years old when he had his accident in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" is the implication following, that everything that happened in the show did too. And I fully intend on (mostly) keeping it like that. There'll be some changes (of which I need to figure out) but for the most part??? Yeah relatively the same.
Like I FULLY intend on keeping Dark Danny occurring 6 months post accident. Do you know how fucking HILARIOUS that is??? That Dan got his ass kicked by a goddamn FIFTH-SIXTH GRADER?? I'd never show my face ever again. Homeboy spent the last ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, only to get his ass beat by a kid who hasn't even lost his last baby tooth. That's hysterical. I'm losing my mind just thinking about it.
AND PARIAH DARK TOO. Imagine being an eons old tyrant capable of dragging whole towns down into your dimension, and you get singehandedly shoved back into your coffin in less than 48 hours by a kid whose bedtime is still 8:30. You didn't even have the time to expand your army! You were still trying to take over the city the kid came from!
And he just!!! Shoves you back in!! Insane! This kid hasn't even been dead for a full year yet! He's still growing in his ghost fangs! And he just knocked you flat on your ass in an oversized mech suit. What the fuck! It's like looking down and seeing a four week old kitten meowing very indignantly at you and trying to bite your feet, except that kitten is also actually a black-footed cat and they have a 60% kill success rate, and oops! Now you're dead. You took too long laughing at the kitten trying to attack you that it clawed up your pant leg and ripped out your throat.
COULD I, realistically, span these episodes out over the course of 2.5 years prior to Danny's family dying?? Yes I could! Do I think it's hilarious (and horribly traumatizing, which makes it twice as fun) to shove all of this into the span of (roughly) a year instead?? Yes. Because the show has such a skewed timeline that I've always just assumed that at the end of the show, Danny was starting his sophomore year in high school. So fuck it, lets go for it!
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chuluoyi · 1 day ago
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✎ a birthday to remember
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- gojo satoru x reader
what is the so-called grand surprise does your husband prepare for your birthday?
genre: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—massive fluff, comfort, pregnant!reader, (cough) pregnant sex
note: hi peeps it's been ages since i last wrote gojo :') and love entries on that matter *sobs* but here it is... my birthday has passed too but here's to any of you whose birthday is near!
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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“Sensei— happy birthday!”
This year, your birthday happened to fall on a workday.
If it were up to you, you would have taken the day off. However, Satoru had been assigned to Osaka and wouldn’t be returning until weekend, so taking leave and staying at home would most likely make you feel lonely.
Not only that, with you entering the fifth month of pregnancy, you figured it was better to stay active. And by the end of the day—you didn’t regret coming in at all. The students were all so sweet, they even chimed in to get you a pretty maternity dress to wear. You couldn’t wait to tell Satoru about them tonight.
You skipped happily toward the parking lot, but right when you turned the corner, suddenly—
“Wifeeeey!”
“Oh my god!”
You let out a loud gasp and took a step back, taking in the view. A sea of colorful balloons, with a man in suit standing right in the middle of it—
Your husband. In flesh. You blinked once, twice— thrice.
“Satoru...?”
He poked his head out of the string of balloons, a beaming, million-dollar grin lit up his face at the sight of your shocked expression. “Wifeeey! Happy birthdaaaaay!”
Before you could even process his sudden appearance, he had you in a chokehold, engulfing you in a bear hug and nuzzling his face against yours with childlike enthusiasm, the faint scent of his cologne filling your senses.
“What are you doing here?!” you half-shrieked, the surprise spilling from your voice.
He pulled back, frowning dramatically. “Ehhh? You don’t want me to be back?”
“Yes—”
His eyes widened as if you’d just committed the gravest betrayal. “You big meanie!”
“No,” you quickly retracted, trying to hold back your own smile at how comically dejected he was. “I mean… aren’t you supposed to be back on Sunday?”
“Heh heh, nope! I lied~” Satoru chirped, his grin returning in full force. “It’s my wifey’s birthday—how could I not come back for you?”
In that moment, your heart fluttered. He was probably saying it for no reason, but the fact that he really did fly back from Osaka just to meet you for your birthday meant a lot to you.
His big, warm hand then gently caressed your visible baby bump, his grin widening when he got a kick. “Ah, right… Hello to you too, baby! Did I startle you too? Sorry~”
You rolled your eyes, retorting, “He is terrified.”
Satoru leaned in, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper directed at your belly. “Don’t worry, baby. Papa’s here now, and he’s got balloons. That makes everything better, right?”
“...how long have you been standing here with these balloons?”
“Hmmm, not long. About an hour, maybe?”
“You shithead—why didn’t you just come inside?”
Satoru’s gasp of mock offense made you laugh despite yourself. “And ruin the surprise? My wifey deserves the full dramatic effect!”
Being Gojo Satoru’s wife certainly came with its fair share of patience-testing episodes, and sometimes you wanted to return him to Yaga for additional lessons of discipline.
But it was candid, over-the-top acts like this that reminded you just how lucky you were to have him.
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Satoru brought you to a high-end restaurant for your birthday dinner before the two of you finally returned home.
And the moment you opened the door, you were greeted by countless balloons floating on the ceiling and the ground, the fairy lights illuminating the room in a cozy glow.
You were taken aback, mesmerized by the sight. “When did you even have the time to decorate the house?”
He grinned, looking far too pleased with himself. “I have many little helpers—”
“Don't tell me it's Ichiji and Nanami? Satoru, you—!”
“I promised Nanami I wouldn’t make him blow up balloons! Though I might have heard him grumble something about being above this…”
"You're unbelievable..." You let out a resigned sigh, yet still smiling as you stepped further into the living room, now bathed in the soft, golden glow.
Satoru observed you with a quiet smile. His pretty wife, and the small life within you. He adored you the most out of everyone else in this twisted world.
Click! Click!
"Huh?" You turned to him when you heard the distinct sound of a camera shutter.
Satoru was holding his phone, an amused glint in his eyes. “Just capturing the moment, you know. You, the lights, and baby. It's perfect.”
You giggled. “You really can’t help yourself, can you?”
He shrugged, that signature grin returning. “What can I say? You’re beautiful.”
Later, you'd find out that one of the photos would be his lock screen from now on. It would be the first thing he saw every time he unlocked his phone.
Satoru brought out the box he had prepared, handing it to you with a sly grin. “Look, sweets, before we go to bed, I have one more gift for you—and you have to wear it now.”
You arched an eyebrow, curiosity piqued, as you took the box from his hands. The moment you opened it and pulled out the contents, you froze.
“—?! Satoru!”
A scarlet lingerie set. The bra features intricate lace trim along the edges, and the matching panties are equally bold, with a sheer lace overlay. Your cheeks flushed as you glanced at Satoru, who was watching you with an winning grin, clearly pleased with his choice.
“What?” he challenged. “They'll suit you, c'mon.”
“You're absolutely shameless.”
“But you love me anyway~”
You let out a defeated sigh, glancing up at him, already realizing there was no way out of this now.
“You’re lucky I’ve hit my head somewhere and married you.”
. . .
He was right. It fit you perfectly.
The moment you got out of the bathroom, Satoru could feel himself getting hard already. You looked like a vision, the deep red seemed to highlight your every curve, turning you into an effortless seductress.
And not only that, you were adorable too— fiddling with your fingers and touching your rounded belly, barely hiding how self-conscious you were.
"Don't just stare at me..." you mumbled, glaring at him.
He reached out, gently brushing his fingers against your cheek, his touch tender despite the fire in his eyes. “You’re making it hard to look away, you know.”
His hands then trailed down, skimming the sides of your body, each touch lingering just long enough to make your breath hitch. It was almost as if he was unraveling you, piece by piece, and you weren’t sure whether to pull away or pull him closer.
And wait... was it just you or were the space between your legs indeed getting hotter and wetter?
As if reading your mind, suddenly two of his fingers touched your barely clad pussy, and you gasped. That's right— there is indeed a hole in this freaking lingerie!
"Are... we...?" you swallowed, your gaze meeting his.
"Can I?" he asked back, voice husky. His crystal clear eyes burning with lust as he assessed you— from your eyes, lips, and then the inviting sight of your cleavage.
Did you want this?
Of course you were. Your birthday was still far from over, and you missed him too.
In response, you pushed his already hovering fingers inside you, making you hold your breath. From that point on, Satoru knew what you wanted.
Without another word, he rubbed soft circles around your clit, and you let out an unabashed moan at the contact, clinging to his shoulders for support. "Ahh..."
He teased you for a while, before slowly entering his fingers into your throbbing folds, and you were close to collapsing if it weren't for his secure hold over you.
"You're so, so damn naughty..." he whispered lowly in your ear. It was taking everything he had not to lose it right then and there. He wanted you to be as comfortable as possible, but the sight of your writhing face and that baby bump was damn distracting and ignited the beast inside him.
He made you pregnant already, but there was just this primal desire— wanting to mark you more...
His fingers slowly pumped in and out of you, dragging them deep but just not deep enough—
"Please..." you scratched his back unwittingly, frustrated at his shirt that got in the way. "I-I... want... you..."
How sweet. Satoru relished in your titillating breaths and chuckled, vigorously continuing his dirty ministrations.
"Say it louder," he growled in your ears. "Can't hear you."
The bastard. You yanked his hair and made him catch your teary gaze. "I... want you..."
Sinful desire flared to life at your words. "Your wish is my command, missus."
Satoru suddenly pulled out his fingers—ignoring the whine you accidentally let out for being empty all of a sudden—and admired the sheen, sticky whiteness on them.
"I barely did anything and you're this wet already," he snorted, tasting it. "They're right about the pregnancy hormones."
He placed his hand on your waist, pressing a kiss on the firm skin of your belly, before undoing his belt and trousers and pulling out his hardened member.
The sight made you actually gulp, especially when he pumped it. He pulled you to his lap and guided his pride to your sopping entrance. The moment he inserted himself, he let out a groan of relief, while you arched your back and hissed, "Ngh!"
Satoru captured your lips, his hand pressing against your aching spine. He pulled you closer, urging you to take him completely.
"Ahh— ugh... mrgh!" you sighed against his neck as soon as you did, trying to even your breath. This was something you had done so many times before, but why was this time felt like an awakening of some sorts?
"Most beautiful," he breathed in your ear wickedly. "Don't worry, leave everything to me."
He rocked his hips against yours, one hand on your back and the other gripping your thigh. With each salacious thrust, you mewled and he panted, keeping you steady all the while.
He could feel your baby bump rubbing against as his toned abs, going along with the rhythm. Satoru grinned proudly, noticing how much it had grown over the past few months. The baby must be healthy in there, huh?
The relief somehow spurred him into pick up his pace, thrusting you more deeply than before. You almost squealed.
"You know what?" he grunted, mind hazed. He didn't really realize what he was saying to you, to be honest. "You're the prettiest when you're like this— round and full, with my kid."
You only caught the lewdness in his words, but you weren't able to ponder about it as he suddenly buried his face into your supple breasts.
"Look at them, getting bigger too— these days..." He sucked on the sensitive skin and you gasped in pleasure, crying out afterwards when he fondled them with both hands.
Your senses were overly heightened and you knew you wouldn't last long. Satoru too knew he was nearing his orgasm as he tore your new bra and sucked on the mound, furthering your never-ending moans, causing your eyes to roll back as the blinding pleasure overtook you— pushing you to cum right then and there.
In the next second, he pushed you into him impossibly deeper, and his hot release gushed inside your womb. You writhed at the sudden fullness, before getting limp and collapsed into him, not even realizing that you had squirted all over his lap and dress shirt.
Your husband glanced at you, in disbelief himself at the messy scene, but utterly satisfied as his bright eyes twinkled. "Heh..."
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You were awoken at three in the morning, and the first thing you noticed was that you were in Satoru's warm embrace.
His arms were wrapped around you securely, holding you close as if he were protecting you even in his sleep. You must have passed out afterwards, as all you recalled was the numbing exhaustion.
Yet you knew for certain that Satoru had cleaned you up, dressed you in your pajamas, and even placed a heat pad on your hips to soothe you.
(He remembered the one time you woke up with cramps right after a raunchy night before)
Your husband was a cheeky shit, but for you, he was willing to go extra miles. It was an overlooked fact sometimes due to how unserious he was, but each time he did and you were reminded of it, your heart always soared.
Looking up, you found his peaceful sleeping face, and not for the first time, you couldn’t help but marvel at how truly handsome he was. A soft smile tugged at your lips as you gently caressed his face.
"Hmm...?" he frowned adorably, and you almost giggled. But when he cracked his eyes open, you almost regretted it—oh yes, he is a light sleeper.
"Sweets...? Can't sleep...?" He turned to you, voice thick with sleepiness. "Anything wrong?"
"No, I'm just watching you." You smiled, poking his cheek. "Go back to sleep."
"Really? Nothing's amiss?" His hand gently slid to your belly, giving it a reassuring rub. "You have to tell me if anything’s not right..."
"Hush, I'm fine."
After making sure you were indeed fine, Satoru tightened his arms over you and pressed his eyes shut. You wrapped your arms around his back in response, feeling his steady warmth. Right in this moment, you were overwhelmed with this gentle, soft feeling— love, the kind he gave you so freely and candidly.
Your birthday had passed, but if there was one wish only he could fulfill, surely you could still ask him, right?
"Satoru..." you muttered, feeling the cool breeze of the air conditioner lulling you back to sleep. "Will you stay with me... forever?"
A smile curled on his lips at your question, his eyes still closed. "Silly girl, it's your bedtime, so why ask that?"
You thought he wouldn't answer it as he didn't say anything more. But right before you drift into deep sleep, he pressed a sweet kiss to the crown of your head, giving you his promise— one that felt truer than anything else he had said to you before.
"I will... so you must stay with me too, got it?"
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