#but its easy to avoid those things i just dont have them. but a birthday comes every year i cant change that

[phagodyke]

doing the classic 'trying to open cards ppl sent but I have to keep putting my face in my hands and sobbing snottily bc I don't understand why they were so kind and it scares me so much'

back home and my washing is done and I need to eat lunch and do my ironing and then I've done all the tasks on my list and I can spend the rest of the day having a mental breakdown and then go straight to sleep woohoo

[writingquestionsanswered]

ive been wanting to write about a group of people who meet up from different countries (brazil, poland, hong kong, pakistan) but i also dont want to use stereotypes and i dont want to make them obviously usamerican. im also well aware that they are people first and foremost so im gonna have characters that arent complete stereotypes and lean towards subcultures or similar but also its more in writing quirks and imperfect english or any other cultural things. like i get that its pretty much impossible to do without a bunch of research and interactions with people of those cultures. but if you had any tips id love to hear it

Wanting to Write a Diverse Group

If portraying someone from a different country and culture than your own includes "quirks and imperfect English," you're not ready yet to portray these characters in a way that won't be harmful and offensive. Anything you'd see as a "quirk" of someone from another country or culture is likely to be a stereotype. And the concept of "imperfect English" being spoken by non-native speakers is also a stereotype, and one which is both offensive and harmful.

We also have to be very, very careful about portraying cultures that aren't our own, especially if you're white. Centuries of white European colonialism came with cultural suppression and appropriation, so it's pretty tacky when white writers exploit these same cultures in their stories for their own gain. It's also very easy to make mistakes when portraying a culture that is not your own, and those mistakes can be offensive if not harmful.

Which is not to say that writers--even white ones--can't portray characters from other races, nationalities, or even cultures. It's just to say that you really have to really think about why you want do it and whether you're the best person to do it. You need to be willing to do a ton of research and have your story vetted by people from the same backgrounds as your characters. Another option--though it still requires research and vetting--is to just not go too deeply into cultural elements, whether they're national cultural elements or elements of a particular ethnic culture. Instead, work in a few cultural elements from a referential standpoint. For example, if you had a character from Mexico, you could have them mention their sister's Quinceañera, and you could even maybe show it to a degree, but unless this is part of your culture, it wouldn't really be your place to do a thematic deep dive into the cultural ins and outs of a Quinceañera, what it means to the birthday girl and her parents, etc.

So, as always, my tips are to research, vet, and to avoid going to deep.

Best wishes on your research and writing! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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[mammoneythegreat]

Humans fucking fascinate me bro like- we spawned into a world and used to gather berries and use sharpened sticks to hunt and after all that we made vaccines??? Like??? Huh?? How did we get here??? We used to think diseases were from god or something and now we inject weakened viruses into ourselves to avoid getting sick??? Oh my god

Like

Wow

Yk?? We sent people to the MOON?? We have a building in SPACE?? A building thats a collaboration of countries all over the world?? A building that helped advance science in all aspects of our lives?? We can talk to people in the other side of the world with a few clicks- even this post, who knows how many people from different parts of the world, with different cultures will see it?

From gatherer society to one thats so interconnected and so scientifically advanced in such a short amount of time??

I forgot the details but i read somewhere that it took us longer to discover farming then it took us to go into space(after we found farming) and thats like

wow

We automated almost everything in our lives, so many things can be done without the touch of humans, we take our machines for granted in our day to day lives, not knowing what we would do without them

And thats so impressive

We took pictures of a BLACK HOLE for gods sake. We took pictures of something that aborbs ALL the light around it, and yet we still took a picture of it? We mapped out the universe around us, we sent machines onto planets so that we could do more research

We sent out humans to the roughest places to do science so that we can better our understanding of what goes around us

Do you think life in the south pole is easy? Life in the international space station? Its not but people willingly went there, put themselves in the roughest conditions for science and to better the world around us.

We have shaped our planet to suit our needs and we are working on machines to shape the universe around us, theyre working on a way to mine asteroids currently and do you realise how cool that is?

Human lifespans used to be so short and now we have more then tripled that.

We built structures that might outlast humanity, we sent out plaques with knowledge about humanity hoping it might randomly stumble upon another civilisation. We sent out a voice recording of the different ways human greet eachother with those plaques.

We built robots that sing themselves happy birthday and put them on another planet, thousands of kilometres away from us. We made it so those robots send out poems telling us not to cry after they inevitably run out of charge. Yet we still grieve after them dont we?

We build robots to have human traits, we see animals and give them human traits. Humans are such simple creatures and yet so amazing.

We spawned in, knowing nothing about the world around us. We built kingdoms and watched as they burned, we built empires and watched as they burned, we built so much and watcbed as they burned

But by making mistakes we learned. We learned so much. We learned how to heal ourselves, we learned so much.

And we dreamed

We dreamed of reaching for the stars and we did. We dreamed of reaching for the other planets, and we did.

We accomplished so much and thats just the start. With what we learned from atoms and atomic energy, we are on our way to make so much more. We will never stop learning and thats what makes us so fascinating isint it?

Some say that we improved too much, that the human mind wasnt meant to know this much, or live in such huge communities but that never stopped us did it?

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

RotTMNT Headcanons

Biology Headcanons

They still have their original turtle eyes! We just cant see them because the art style lol

They're (canonically?) warm blooded

Reptiles take a lot longer to heal than mammals, which is a trait that carried over after the mutation. When they were little they would get a lot of infections (its hard wrangling 4 children under ten, Splinter had a hard time keeping every single cut clean). They own a lot of bandages (specifically fun cartoon band aids) because they have to wear them for much longer periods.

They! Make! Turtle! Sounds! And they picked up some rat sounds from Splinter! Splinter knows what all the turtle sounds mean, but never makes any himself. The first time April heard the turtle sounds she demanded they teach her. She cant make them exactly so she'll make a similar enough sound and they'll joke that she's just got a thick accent

Like most reptiles they will continue to grow throughout their lives! Thats why future!Leo was so big

They've eaten plenty of questionable things growing up. And still will if bribed with enough money. One of the reasons they love Run of the Mill so much is they serve Yokai food aka food with some gross stuff (ex. that pizza with eyes the twins ate when they took April)

Splinter has no idea how old they actually are. Neither does Draxum he didnt exactly care what day his subjects were hatched he just needed them to be juveniles. They were mutated 13 years ago so in reality they are all (mentally?) 13. Splinter needed to put someone in charge while he was gone and the reasoning was because "he's the oldest" because how do you argue with that? And then eventually the kids asked who the second oldest was and Splinter panicked and just went in height order. He randomly picked birthdays and accidentally made Leo 20 days older than Donnie

Splinter's DNA is the reason they're such good ninjas. Somehow. I dont see how thats genetic but yep thats the reason. They pick up moves really fast, so growing up on Lou Jitsu movies and having easy access to youtube allowed them to learn moves visually. Splinter also gave them all a crash course on fighting before he ever let them start going off on their own

Growing up

Splinter named them after colors! Growing up he had to color code everything to avoid "but its mine" disputes. It took him a while to figure that out so they actually didnt have names for that time.

April was the one who started the twin debate. At the time (she was idk 10?) she didnt understand how two siblings born in the same year could not be twins.

Raph and his duty of older brother is essential for the family, but the most substantial role is held by Donnie. Splinter is the father but Donnie is the true provider. Before Donnie got old enough to play around with fixing things the family lived a very different life. Donnie is the reason they have a tv, working kitchen appliances, clean water despite living in a sewer, electric lighting and heating. He's the only one who regularly brings money in and organizes things like online shipping or grocery delivery (thank you internet!). Donnie looks at something and sees something entirely out of the box, and then makes it a reality. Leo found the area that became the lair, but Donnie is the one who made those concrete tubes a functional home. And he did it all just to see if he could. Splinter didnt think he could do it, but it kept the boys entertained all day so he let them have at it. Splinter feels guilty so much has fallen on Donnie's shoulders over the years, but he is so grateful that Donnie turned out to be so smart

General

All the brothers are really smart, just in different capacities. Donnie prefers engineering and computer science but also picks up other science subjects fast. Leo's is harder to see, it manifests more in quick thinking, puzzles, and people skills. He's also really good at math. Mikey is good at seeing patterns, in both objects and relationships. Raph is in emotional intelligence, particularly internally.

When Cassandra said "my friends call me 'Casey'" she meant that only to Splinter, and the rest still had to earn the right to call her "Casey"

Raph and Casey (Sr) somehow become best friends. No one expected it.

Donnie has scars on his shell, but most of them are from minor everyday things and not true fights. Raph has the most scars due to his tendency to use himself as a shield to protect his brothers

Leo, Donnie, and Mikey all feel like they didnt earn their spot on the team. Leo because he feels he doesnt offer much (canon), Donnie because if he cant make tech he thinks hes useless (canon), and Mikey because he's the youngest and his brothers are therefore forced to include him (headcanon)

At one point Mikey tricked Splinter and Big Mama into going on a date

Draxum and Donnie got stuck in a situation that forced them to bond. They both pretend nothing has changed but it has

Not only does Leo come to Sr Hueso to complain about his life like Hueso's a bartender (canon), but so do all the brothers. Sr Hueso keeps reminding them he's not a therapist

Their s2 finale outfits (gif up top) become everyone's mission outfits

Medic Leo Medic Leo Medic Leo

All the boys love the joey pouch (its basically a incubator and theyre reptiles). April finds it disgusting (its a very hot and tight space made of flaps of skin and you cant move without lots of effort)

At one point the boys all try to get jobs. Raph tries the Hidden City but gets run out by the police again. Mikey somehow talks Sr Hueso into giving him a job. Donnie attempts to work for Big Mama but in disguise. Leo somehow ends up helping Draxum out in the high school kitchen. None of them last the week. Raph doesnt make a day, Mikey gets into a argument with a chef on day four and quits "on principle", Donnie got discovered on day 2 but out of nostalgia's sake (being her exbf's son) Big Mama let him stay on but it got uncomfortable fast so he bailed also on day 4, Leo finds out he's outlasted all his brothers and goes in on day 5 solely to steal some ice cream bars and then told Draxum he quits when he was already on his way out

Theres a running joke that Piebald is always there but the boys keep forgetting about her. They dont know if her and dad are messing with them again or she actually was there and they just dont notice ("i mean... she can turn invisible. She could have been there")

Post-Movie

Casey Jr lives with them! April and Casey Sr are at college and living in dorms. Plus, he's not quite ready for full emersion into a society thats never had the apocalypse

Growing up Leo had become a father figure to Casey Jr, a person who could do no wrong. After the movie that illusion is clearly shattered, but he still looks up to Leo and the others. Leo has now taken a role closer to Big Brother (someone who can be flawed) than Parental Figure. Leo on the other hand has fully embraced being a role model for Casey Jr and has basically become Raph whenever Casey Jr is around

Casey Sr takes her job as Casey Jr's mom very seriously. She's not the same as future!Casey Sr, obviously, but Casey Jr enjoys spending time with her anyways. If anyone asks they say they're cousins and as a inside joke Casey Jr calls her "mom"

Casey Sr drilled proper etiquette into her son. The boys are working hard to break that ("Master Michelangelo-" "woah buddy, you can just call me 'Mikey'. 'Master Michelangelo' is way too long and too many syllables")

Raph's got scars from being krangified (from when it ripped into his body and from when he ripped it out of his body). He's got some vision problems in his right eye now

Donnie's also got scars from being forcefully ripped out of the control console

Casey Jr is a avid pupil of Nap When You Can and falls asleep everywhere. Showing him a movie? Asleep. Dinner's gonna take another 15 minutes? He's already drooling on the couch. Leo's taking to long to get his gear on? Catnap on the kitchen table. As the new baby of the family everyone carries him to bed instead of waking him up

Mikey begins spending more time over at Draxum's now, learning about mystic powers

Leo being forced to leave Raph behind really left its mark on him. Watching Leo sacrifice himself really left its mark on everyone else. Its not surprising to wake up in middle of the night because someone came in to check on you after a nightmare

[dwaeki]

— felix as ur bf (random headcanons)

pairing: felix x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none other than maybe some slip ups and just poorly written fluff, not proofread, lower case intended!!!

a/n: i'm just bored and need to post so i decided to make this at like 3AM 😩🤝🏻 genuinely dont knownwhat i was writing here but i went with the flow so 😞

ok lets completely disregard the fact that felix is my ult and i am absolutely whipped for him.

he doesn't sleep early at night especially if he had a bad day at practice or made a lot of mistakes while trying to memorize the choreography to one of their new songs,

so he usually stays up for a little while playing video games on his PC while you sleep over at the dorms.

you're most likely there sitting on his lap, sleeping peacefully while your boyfriend tries to restrain himself from raging and absolutely destroying his expensive keyboard </3

(p.s he has a keyboard that lights up. most likely rainbow cuz idk HE GIVES OFF THOSE VIBES.)

the first time you sat on his lap while he was playing games he just fell in love with that idea

the feeling of your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you rest your head in the crook of his neck is just :(( y/n ure making him feel so loved :((

he's just rlly comfortable and feels at peace.

also when he feels a bit too overwhelmed or just frustrated he stops the game for a little while and wraps his arms around you tightly while inhaling your scent :((

he feels better right away <33

but you dont know that bcuz ure ✨asleep✨

but if he's feeling particularly tired he just plays on his phone

while you're both in bed, cuddling <33

PLUSHIES !! you guys collect a bunch of plushies <3

he likes plushies a lot so if u like plushies too you guys are just a perfect duo. you two are always on a look out for stuffed animals,

felix keeps a bunch of cents in his pockets just in case u find something.

if one of u spots a claw machine outside while you're going out or during an arcade date you're going to drop whatever you were doing before and literally run, leap, fly towards its direction.

"Y/N A CLAW MACHINE !!!!" "OH MY GOD GOGOOGOGO RUN FELIX GO DONT LET THE KID GET THERE BEFORE WE DO"

you two are competitive as hell when it comes to winning a stuffed animal & believe me felix doesnt go easy on you

especially if youre a sour loser cuz he teases you a lot.

it starts off with u two being competitive but ends with the both of you basically throwing all of your money away just to get a single plushie.

one time u hogged the claw machine for a little too long and you didnt even notice the line of kids waiting for the two of u to finally leave for good.

yeah... ure banned from using the claw machine at one of the arcades ... 😬✋🏻

he also lays his head on your lap... a lot.

he just loves feeling close to you so if he's sleepy and wants cuddles he usually just lays his head on your thighs (no matter the shape or size cuz we love all kinds of thighs here, love <3) , grabs your hand and plays with ur fingers.

you already get the message so you're quick to get up and move to the bedroom to cuddle

but if you don't get the message then he starts pouting and sighing dramatically, waiting for u to take the hint

but if ure still not budging then he just lifts you up and quite literally throws you onto the bed so you two can cuddle

(one time u bounced off the bed and hurt your arm... felix almost cried...)

he grumbles a bunch of incoherent words while getting under the covers

squeezes the living soul out of you the second he's under the covers. like ure literally left soulless.

HE'S LITERALLY A HUMAN HEATER SO BEWARE WHEN U CUDDLE IN THE SUMMER !!!

felix doesnt rlly have a favorite position to cuddle in, he likes any and every.

he loves being the big spoon, he loves being the small spoon

but he also rlly loves cuddling face-to-face <33 or maybe ur head buried in his chest :((

loves placing kithes all over your face or pecking your lips during cuddle sessions.

yeah... he's a sucker for physical contact 😚😚

he's also SO whipped for you you don't even understand.

everyone around him can tell that he absolutely adores you and everything you do

one time jeongin mentioned how utterly in love he was and how "disgusting & painful" it was to watch you two interact 😔

and felix was low-key like HELL YEAH IM WHIPPED AND IM PROUD !!!

doesnt care if anyone points out how much he loves u & doesn't deny it either bcuz YEAH!! HE DOES INDEED LOVE U VERY MUCH!!! WHAT ABOUT IT!?!?!!

he also gives the best presents !

he just always knows what to buy anyone he's very close with and the list ofc includes you :D bcuz youre his lover mwuah <3

buys you the best birthday presents, anniversary presents, holiday presents.

it's because he's observant !!

especially when it comes to you. if you eye an expensive outfit that you can't really afford at the moment or there's a fancy restaurant you want to go to, he will keep it in the back of his mind and will take it into consideration ;))

there doesn't have to be a special occurance for felix to surprise you with a present !!

even if the present he's getting you is pretty expensive its still for u and he wants to make u feel as appreciated and as loved as he can. so wasting money on you is never a problem as long as you're happy :((

the fact that he is observant also comes in handy a lot, because he can tell when you're uncomfortable by the small changes in the way you act like the furrowing of your eyebrows or you shift even closer to him, etc.

if it's a public space or an event where you have to socialize and interact with others and he notices you feeling uncomfortable he will take you to a less crowded place to give u a bunch of kisses and reassure you that everything will be just fine <3

he also knows what you like and dislike very well, so it's easier to avoid any arguments in your relationship.

virtual dates !!

he takes you on a bunch of dates on minecraft, roblox, animal crossing etc.

the dates usually happen while he's away on a tour and you two really miss each other </3

the first time he went on a tour he just really really really missed you and your voice

so he called you on discord and suggested that you play minecraft together. you created a new world and just started everything from the scratch.

so every time felix goes on tour you guys call on discord, get on minecraft and add new things to your world <33

your world includes but is not limited to: a huge pink mansion with a pretty backyard filled with flowers, a dog named "seungmo" and a cat named "lino" (as felix suggested you named them ✋🏻)

he once told you that one day you two are gonna get married (if you're willing to ofc) and live a perfect life just like in your minecraft world :((

even tho it was over the top to assume that you two would live in a gigantic pink mansion, it was still endearing and it made your heart melt <3

he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you because he knows you're the one :(

[obsessive-ego]

Just go with it

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Lewd mentions

Beetlejuice needs you to pretend to be his fiance or he's in trouble

"Babes?"

...

"Babes, wake up"

....?

"Y/n wake up"

What?

Was your first thought as you are shaken awake by the ghost who has made your home his, you mumble out something unintelligible as you grope around for your phone, you cringe as the bright light of the screen blinds you, as your eyes adjust to the light you groan, 4am.

"Beetlejuice, what-"

"Okay, babes, no time to explain but I need you to pretend to be my fiance" despite the odd statement beetlejuice sounded a tad worried.

"What?"

"Long story short I may have said a few things to some guys, and if we dont pull this off I will be dragged back to the netherworld" the ghoul whispered dragging you out if bed.

"Oh" was all you could muster is your drowsy state.

"So theres a suit from the netherworld waiting to meet you, in your living room, now" beetlejuice continued rubbing the back of his neck.

You sigh and shuffle about your room, slipping on slippers and giving your hair a quick once over, as you reach for your housecoat beetlejuice swats away your hand.

"Bee-"

Beetlejuice drops his jacket around your shoulders "this will work much better babes, we need to sell this"

You groan, you were too tired for this, thank god you didnt work in the morning, who knows how long this shit is gonna take, but as tired as you were you couldnt let whoever take your ghost back to the netherworld.

"Okay you're my fiance, I proposed a week ago, and you're head over heels for me, that last part wont be hard to fake huh doll?" The ghoul gives you a wink, you sigh.

"Wait, almost forgot" the ghoul snaps his fingers, you feel a light squeeze on you right handed middle finger.

Upon your finger appears rather tacky, pretty ring, the band was black and white, and resembled a snake, the gem was a brilliant green, you honestly felt your heart squeeze when you saw it, to be honest staring at the ring felt like a dream, maybe because you just woke up? It was beautiful, and the idea of it being for real kinda hurt knowing it was for pretend, but those feelings didnt matter right now, Beej needed you to help him avoid being dragged back to the netherworld, you can think about those depressing emotions later.

The two of you leave the bedroom, beetlejuice takes the lead as you shuffle behind.

As the two of you enter the living room you could help but pause and stare at the 'suit' beej claimed that was waiting for you.

In your little arm chair sat a fairly tall skeleton man, his bones a blueish hue, wearing a lime green suit that looked fresh off the rack, guess not all dead guys wore dirty clothes, in all honesty this was your first time seeing another dead person aside from the maitlands and beetlejuice, they were human, beej was humanish, but this guy looked like he walked out of a cartoon.

"Sorry for the wait, you know breathers, they need to sleep" beetlejuice cackled snapping you from your thoughts "well there's y/n, theres the ring, and theres the door, feel free to use it" beetlejuice snears, wanting to get this whole thing done with, yes he adored messing with you, and with different circumstances this could have been funny, but too much was on the line for him and you were an awful liar, he loved you sure, but theres no way you could pull off lying.

"Y/n I presume?" The skeleton gestures to you, completely ignoring beetlejuice, you nod "its pleasure to put a face to the name, I apologize for the rude awakening, when you've been dead for as long as I have, you tend to lose the meaning of time, my dear this wont take long, we just need to clear up some loose ends then you can get back to your rest" the skeleton gestures you to sit on the couch next to beetlejuice who has already made himself comfortable.

You gently sit down next to BJ who was quick to drape an arm over your shoulders and pull you into his side.

The skeleton pulls out a clipboard from his jacket and flips through the pages

"Lawrence B Shoggoth, y/n m/n l/n, I have requested an audience with you two to clear up some issues with Lawrence's recent updated paper work, not to mention a handful of rumours that need to be put to bed" the ghoul flips through the papers "it says here the y/n you are Lawrence's spouse, is that true?"

You nod

"You see y/n, Lawrence here cant be trusted at face value, so that is why I must converse with you on the matter, so you are his fiance correct?"

"Yes"

"I see, now how long have the two of you known each other?"

"About a year or so" you shrug

"Mmmhmm" the ghoul scribbles down something and continues "now when did he propose to you?"

"Last week" this was so anxiety inducing, for a man with no eyeballs it sure felt like he was staring into your soul.

"Now what drawn you to such a, oh how do I put this, such a man?"

You hear beetlejuice huff out as if he was insulted.

"Well, beetlejuice may be rough around the edges, and can be a dick at times, but he's great company, hes funny, witty, has great taste in movies, and he makes me smile, hes also, well, he's also good looking too" you look away from both parties, as you were clearly embarrassed over what you said, it was the truth, but it still made your face burn.

Beetlejuice leans forward, looking in your direction, eyes wide and mouth a gape, his hair now a bright pink.

"Mr Shoggoth, you look surprised at y/n's words" the ghoul grabs Beetlejuice's attention.

"Heh, you see y/n is the shy type, hearing that type a thing is rare and ALWAYS gets my attention". Beetlejuice slicks his hair back removing the pink and resetting it to its default green.

"Mmmmhmmm" was the ghoul's only response as attention was drawn back to you.

"So y/n you truly are betrothed to Lawrance, you want to be wed to him on purpose?" The skeleton's tone was almost surprised, as if beetlejuice was the most revolting creature in existence and you wanting, out of your own free will to be bound to such a thing, was the most insane thing he has ever herd.

You nod, beetlejuice gives the skeleton a smug toothy grin.

"This isnt a joke, nor is he blackmailing or threatening you?" His tone sounded desperate, as if he needed to prove beetlejuice was lying for his own good.

You only shake your head, while beetlejuice surpresses a laugh

"Ya see bone head? I'm innocent~" he chuckles, squeezing you close to his side.

"Y/n you are aware of what you're doing for Lawrence correct?" The skeleton sounded almost smug, you only stare back, waiting for him to elaborate.

"You see y/n, you are doing Lawrence here a huge favor, when the dead marry the living, they are able to walk the earth like you do, you are granting him life, something he has never had, this is why we must confirm with you, that you understand what he's doing" the skeleton gestures to beetlejuice, the demon only rolls his eyes in response.

"I know"

Attention is drawn to you

"I know all about that life giving thing, beetlejuice told me about it"

"Well you see y/n, this isnt the first time Lawrence has-"

"I know, I was told, by him and the person he tried to marry the first time, small world huh"

The skeleton pauses for a moment then coughs into his fist, as if to regain his composure after being surprised, he continues "I see, Lawrence has been honest with you, I didnt think he had it in him"

Beetlejuice snarls at the comment, tips of his hair turning red.

"Just a few more loose ends y/n then you can return to your rest" the skeleton flips through his papers "ah, Lawrence, y/n may have been couched, and since you seem so eager to speak, I do have a few things I need to clarify with you, if the two of you are in love as you say and this isnt a farce, you would know plenty about your future spouse, when was y/n born?" The skeleton snears as if hes caught you two red handed

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "easy *birthday day and year* hell I woke them up with some early morning birthday head"

You cover your face in embarrassment at that comment, yet you were surprised he knew the year.

"Correct, and might I saw congratulations on a LEGAL partner this time"

Beetlejuice rolls his eyes at the low blow before grumbling "it was a green card thing"

The skeleton ignores Beetlejuice's comment and continues "what drew you to this breather? And please keep it out of the gutter"

Beetlejuice huffs "spoil sport, y/n here is one of the kindest, sweetest, softest breather I ever met, they let me do whatever I want, they want me around, no stings attached, they got great taste, just look at the company they keep, and let me tell ya, the first time we met they sucker punched me in the jaw for scaring them, and I've been dreaming of that swing ever since"

You just stare at the ghoul, he remembered that? He remembered how he first met you? When lydia locked you in the basement and he jumped out at you, successfully scaring you but earning himself a fist in the jaw, wow. Your face felt hot remembering that, what a frist impression.

The night droned on and on with dull questions the suit had lined up to prove beetlejuice was lying, but every question had an appropriate answer, and the skeleton knew he could not prove anything as the night went on.

Low on patience and time he decided call it quits.

The skeleton pushes his clipboard back into his jacket and sighs "I appreciate your time y/n, thank you for your cooperation, and Lawrence, I look forward form your departure of death, a short vacation from you is the pick me up I deserve" the skeleton raises up from your chair and walks over to a wall on the other side of the room, you watch him draw a door, and knock 3 times, you're livingroom wall opens up to the netherworld. You freeze at the sight, you always felt uneasy seeing the netherworld portal open up, maybe it was a living thing? As if beetlejuice felt your discomfort he pulls you into a side hug, grounding your anxiety, you give a sigh of what feels like relief.

The skeletontirns to face the two of you "Before my departure, y/n I do have one final thing to ask you, can you kiss Lawrence for me?"

"What?" You gawk in confusion

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "what? You the type of guy who gets off on watching others get hot and heavy, I mean I feel ya, but if you insist, I can help a guy out" beetlejuice is quick to cup your face "give daddy some sugar~" he purrs puckering up to go in for the kiss.

"Lawrence you misunderstand me, I ask y/n, if you two are truly betrothed, shy or not, y/n shouldnt have any issues kissing their lover" the skeleton gestures to you, without eyeballs or eyebrows he sure wore a smug face, as if he found you two out.

Beej snorts out his nose, great, he's fucked, theres no way you could sell this now, the ghoul had to take the lead and try to steer this away from what this bureaucrat wants "Shy or not, my little sex pot here isnt too keen on others watching, believe me, I tired, the only thing they wont do in the bedroom-"

"Bee, it's fine" you interject, gently grabbing the demons sleeve, he looks at you mouth agape, green slowly blossoming into pink in his face and hair.

"You mind leaning down honey?" You ask softly, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, yes beetlejuice has kissed you more times then you could remember, and yes, youd be lying if you didnt enjoy them, but taking the lead? That was new, and to have someone watching? Not to mention if you dont make this look good he's gonna take beetlejuice away.

Beetlejuice on the other was practically glowing pink, and vibrating with excitment, not to mention drooling.

You gently cup the demons face, running your thumbs across his stubble, you swore you could hear the demon purring, you take a deep breath through your nose before closing the gap between the two of you.

Beetlejuice's hands find homes for themselves, on in your hair, the other on the center of your back. Your hands move from the demon's face and bury themselves in his messy hair, gently giving his head a scratch, you squeak with surprise as the ghoul lifts you up from the ground, instinct kicks in nd you wrap you legs around his waist, lips still locked with his, you feel his tongue probing at you mouth, begging for your permission to enter, you oblige, his tongue wasnt new to you, you felt it a handful of times, running up the side of your face when the ghoul was trying to get your attention mostly, but in your mouth?

It was long, and big, and kind of cold, it easily took the lead, exploring your mouth.

You push on Beetlejuice's chest to notify him you needed to breath, the two of pull your lips part from each others, a thin line of saliva still connecting the two of you.

"Oh Lawrence" you sigh

The demon now completely electric pink, still holding you up growls before asking "couch?"

You hum out "yes"

Before the ghoul flops backwards on the couch, having you sit on top of him, you give his tie a quick yank and he groans in response.

"Oh doll, you're lucky you dont work tomorrow, cuz I want you to ride me all night~"

"Ahem!"

The two of you freeze for a moment, beetlejuice snickers at your face, clearly embarrassed, you pause for a moment, swallowing your shame before addressing the ghoul who was still here

"You're still here?" Was all you manged to breath out

"I mean I'm into it, but y/n? Not so much, and they clearly arent into you watching so" beetlejuice snorts, trying to wave the skeleton off so the demon could relax.

"I see, y/n you clearly are attracted to him, and understand all the consequences of marrying the dead, I declare that Lawrence B Shoggoth was, in fact, telling the truth, this should be a holiday, such a rare occasion" the skeleton trailed off as he walked into the netherworld, you only watched as he vanished and the walls of your little apartment rearranged themselves like it never happened.

You sat top beetlejuice for a moment, sighing over dodging the bullet of losing your, very dear friend, you may or may not be head over heels for.

You're reminded of where you were sitting  with a familiar pinch on your butt.

"Hey honey~" the ghoul purrs

You jerk up at recalling the situation you're in, beetlejuice groans at you movement

"Careful sweets, keep moving like that and you'll turn this semi into a boner" he snorts out a chuckle.

You're quick to get off the demon, though he did grunt in protest, before sitting back up and pulling a couch cushion over his lap, despite how crude he was, he did have SOME common courtesy.

As much fun as it would have been for the demon to tease you on your rather hot actions, he noticed how your attention wasnt on him, rather then you were staring at the wall that was once the door to the netherworld.

"So we did it?" Was all you seemed to whisper

"Yup, I got to hand it to you babes, you did quite a good job fooling that stiff"

You turn back to the demon and give him a soft smile feeling completely relieved.

"You know it's funny y/n, you're a terrible liar, and you sure as hell cant act, you got way too many tells, but yet, I didnt see a single twitch nor did I hear a single stutter, why's that?~" you knew that tone oh too well, it was the 'I know something embarrassing about you' tone, it was smug yet made your legs turn to jelly.

"I guess when it comes down to really important stuff i guess i can-" you stammer while fiddling with the hem of your shirt

"I dont think so dolly" beej was quick to interrupt "babes, you've been wearing my jacket the whole time, I've seen you keep glancing down at the ring, and fuck me, the amount of fire in that kiss, someone like you cant fake that" 

You refuse to look his way, this was one hell.of a way to come clean with your feelings, a heavy silence fills the room, though you're pretty sure beetlejuice could hear your heart pounding away.

As if the ghoul could sense your discomfort, he sighs "ya know babes, it's pretty late, and breathers need to sleep, so how bout you head back to bed and I'll finish grilling you in the morning"

Glancing back at beetlejuice you could see the flicks of purple appearing in the pink mess of his hair, you give the ghouls half hearted smile, as you go to take off the jacket he raising his hand motioning you to stop

"Its gonna be cold tonight babes, how bout you keep it warm for me?"

"Oh, alright, night Bee, glad I could help you" you wave off as you head to your bedroom to over think what just happened.

Beetlejuice groans when he hears the familiar sound of your bedroom door closing, he was so close to getting a real confession out of you, but tomorrow morning is gonna be pretty dangerous for you,  he sighs removing the pillow from his lap, he had a more pressing matter to attend too, and with your taste on his tongue and the beautiful imagine of you on top of him yanking at his tie, this 'problem' wont take long to deal with.

Bonus

The next morning was quite awkward, beetlejuice wasnt kidding about grilling you in the morning, but at least what felt like an interrogation last night, now felt like childish teasing

"Bee, can I ask you something about last night?"

The ghoul beams with excitement at your question "anything you want babes"

"If we would have failed, what would have happened to you, you said you would have been dragged back to the netherworld and" you pause hoping the ghoul would fill in

"Oh, yeah, if we would have got caught I would have had to spend a week in the netherworld with my mother fixing this paperwork and just being chewed out, a nightmare babes, we dodged a bullet" he raises his hand for a high five as if to congratulate you on helping him out

"What, I'm sorry what"

Beetlejuice lowers his hand and frowns at your response

"Beetlejuice I was worried sick, I thought they were gonna take you away forever, i was terrified if i fuck up I'd never see you again, like what am i supposed to do without you?! I dont want you to leave me" you practically screamed

Beetlejuice only started at you, slowly soaking in what you said

'I dont want you to leave me'

His blank stare slowly shifts to a smile, flicks of pink appearing in his hair "dont worry sugar, you're stuck with me"

[probably-haven]

Spoilers Galor ...... it is time.... for me to do what ive been considering for quite some time

this is my arguement... on why, whether romantically or platonically, i think you should ship or bro-ship,...... Childe.... and Albedo

HERE ME OUT I SWEAR PLEASE IT MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD- JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE! rarepair shipping is painful- join me

OR DONT EVEN IF YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE THE SHIP A CHANCE I DO A LOT OF ANALYSIS ON ALBEDO AND CHILDE’S CHARACTERS INDIVIDUALLY, AS WELL AS THE FATUI, THEYRE METHODS, AND THE RELATION WITH MONDSTADT- AND OTHER STUFF- just- if you like reading different analysis-es of the game or ship material or anything- 

please just consider skimming it possibly- 

so for the first section of my argument, i will cover why this is a largely feasible possibility, so let’s set the stage

- Childe is from Snezhnaya, and he is shown to have a large amount of ties to his home, including but not limited to; his family, ice fishing, and just a large number of nostalgic references in his voice lines. 

- Because of this it’s a pretty common occurrence that he finds himself feeling homesick, as with many of the other Fatui.

- This is why he, like many of the other Fatui, so frequently visit and camp within Dragonspine, where the cold snowy atmosphere serves to remind them of home and the things they left behind.

- also in his birthday letter, it says he canonically visits Dragonspine, but explaining it this way gives it feeling 

- so considering that he would be in Dragonspine relatively often, and given the large number of Fatui camps in there regardless, it’s pretty clear he’d have heard of Albedo. So onto Albedo (unfortunately i wasnt there for his event so i dont have as much fuel, but it is what it is)

- there’s a few things that need to be asked first- It’s pretty clear that Albedo must have some interaction with the Fatui given the sheer number of them that camp in Dragonspine. Evidentially, he’s still alive so the question is why? and there’s a few possible explanations for this.

     - He just sneaks around a lot or avoids them (this i think is unlikely, as it would limit his actions while conducting experiments as well as the places where he’d be able to conduct them, which isn’t a big deal, but when there are other options I don’t think this is the one he’d pick)      - He just pulls a traveler and kills them (i don’t think he would do this except for as a last resort, he’s rather disconnected from any sense of empathy yes, but his time is better spent elsewhere. If it comes to that, it comes to that and he will, but he wouldn’t do it as his first option) (also i dont use geo characters much so idk how good he’d be at breaking their shields in this case)      - The Fatui don’t bother or attack him out of their own choice

- i think the third is the most likely, which sounds dumb but hear me out. 

- something that is stressed time and time again during the mondstadt archon quest is the fact that nobody wants to increase the always present strain on diplomatic relations between Mondstadt and Snezhnaya.      - Sure the Fatui do not care very much about this and have many ways to get around this. Signora attacking Venti (technically not a diplomat, and by disappearing she had plausible deniability; traveler’s words against her own, and really both traveler and Venti weren’t supposed to survive that, hence “leave no trace”), or the Fatui constantly attacking the traveler, (who’s canonically travelling alone with only Paimon, always on the move and encountering many unfamiliar dangers, not hard to clear up)      - However despite this, I still believe that Albedo’s safety(and by extent that of Sucrose and Timeus) on Dragonspine is maintained by a mixture of political agreement, situational convenience, and Albedo’s own actions

- its difficult for this to work but i believe it’s the most likely answer, combining all three possibilities that i mentioned above.  - Albedo is an official Knight of Favonius, so his death would cause a pretty dramatic commotion, and since he’s been in Dragonspine for as long as he has, if he was found dead outside of his lab- or suddenly disappeared, the first person to blame would be the Fatui.

- “But Flurp! what about the stuff you mentioned earlier, with Senora’s attack and the Fatui always going after the traveler?”

- context is key. The traveler is a traveler, and Venti was a necessity to achieve their goal. The traveler is also a huge threat to what they are trying to do, since the Fatui have probably heard of their accomplishments. Them attacking Venti was inevitable, no matter the strain it would cause. The fact that the traveler was there as well was merely coincidence in my opinion

- again “leave no trace” means the intent was that both the Traveller and Venti weren’t meant to survive. This is important because if the traveler disappeared, they would have vanished shortly after finishing what they had to do in mondstadt and thered be no reason to suspect anything had happened to them, just that they had moved onto Liyue. 

- Venti would pose risk, but again, the pros outweighed any risk it could have posed to their relations.

- with the Fatui regularly attacking the Traveler, again, that’s easy to clear up and would be difficult to pin on the Fatui, assuming how long it would take to realize they were gone (because despite helping so many people, its still natural to assume they’ve just travelled elsewhere)

- Albedo on the other hand, is technically a legal official, because of his high rank in the knights. He is also only ever really found in Dragonspine and Mondstadt the city. And he is well familiar with the dangers of Dragonspine, so if he were to die there it would be assumed to be either at the hands of the Fatui, or one of his own experiments.

- Thus attacking him is very high risk(unlike the traveler), and since he has nothing to do with their plans, low reward(unlike Venti). 

- So most likely he doesn’t needlessly interact with the Fatui, but should an experiment need to expand into the space of one of their camps, it’s likely he would need some kind of documentation to do so. At the same time, Albedo himself would also not be able to harm the Fatui who frequent the mountain. I TOOK WAY TO LONG TO EXPLAIN THAT UGGGGHHHHHHH anyways

- So set the stage, Childe is visiting Dragonspine, right? And he hears from whichever Fatui Camp he happens to stop in about the one Knight of Favonius that they keep seeing around Dragonspine, the one who just last week came to them with a stack of documents saying they would have to move their camp, it’s annoying but they have orders not to attack him. 

- and then there’s Childe, who’s been living in Liyue, surrounded by people who basically fear Dragonspine as if its some kind of deadzone, and he just assumed that for anyone not from Snezhnaya, thats exactly what it was. He assumed nobody but the Fatui would dare even visit there, let alone be there as frequently as whoever this person was. 

- And he’s got to be pretty important for there to be orders not to attack him, right?       - cue Childe’s unique brand of curiosity, so he asks more, apparently the fellow has a geo vision, and had been spotted taking down or even just lurking by a number of Dragonspine’s dangers as though it was merely routine       - cue flashback to when he first met the traveler, instantly hesitant, hostile, and potentially even afraid towards him as soon as he realized he was Fatui, even before revealing himself as a harbinger.

- so what was it about this guy that made him so convinced he could walk into a Fatui camp alone, order them around, and still walk out alive. Even Childe could admit how underhanded the Fatui were at times, their true orders could have been anything

- He’s not just going to leave now, no. So he asks more questions and figures out that they did at one point scout out his lab while the Knight was out, and give him the location. He’s a harbinger, what are they gonna say “sorry sir, can’t tell ya” no, these bitches see him with the same amount of fear they’d have for Dotorre or Scaramouche or La Signora or any of the others- you don’t just tell a harbinger “no”

- So anyways Childe decides to check it out 

- in the case that Albedo’s mid experiment in his lab when this happens, he’ll probably assume it’s a Knight, since the Fatui haven’t tried anything in quite some time and would just send off a quick “I am in the middle of an experiment right now, I would prefer not to be disturbed”      - and Childe would laugh at his voice because let’s be honest, he thinks of himself as a Chad and it just sounds “weak” to him, and then the scenario leads into what would happen even if he wasnt mid-experiment

and now a look into Albedo’s perspective

- let’s assume that the Knights heard about the Traveler’s role in what happened in Liyue, since it’s kind of common knowledge that Childe was the one who did it, and the traveler doesn’t exactly try to hide that he fought Childe. So considering how often the knights and the Fatui clash, and what happened with Signora, they would likely ask the traveler about it, in order to be better prepared, and for that same reason i feel like the traveler would tell them some of it. 

- so in this situation, it’s likely that Albedo would recognize him and likely know an amount of his combat abilities, and the thing with the fake seals of permission/Osial, but I don’t think the Traveler would have given told any more than that

- so here’s Albedo, surrounded by Fatui camps, knowing that he knows more about this Harbinger than the other thinks he does and assuming that Childe knows more about him himself, but just how much does he know.

- it’s the first time one of the Fatui has come to his lab in- he doesn’t know how long (other than the occasional instance of a wounded member risking the encounter in a moment of desperation. He’s observed that those who wield hydro have never been present in any of these instances, and are most likely designated as healers, but he isn’t in the best position to find out.)      - and the fact that the first Fatui to come to his camp(out of anything other than necessity) is a Harbinger, is certainly very off putting, as he knows that Childe most certainly has the ability to change the orders of the Fatui around him whose cooperation with him is something that he recognizes as very fragile

- and he knows it’s unlikely, in the back of his mind he keeps recalling that this specific Harbinger is the one who resurrected a dead god for the purpose of destroying a city (flashback to the famous “if I destroy Mondstadt” line) but he reminds himself that it’s highly improbable and thus illogical to jump to that conclusion, but he is nonetheless very on edge with Childe’s presence

- However, as with the rest of the Fatui, his hands are legally tied, and unless Childe moves to attack him, any move he makes would only serve to reflect on the rest of the knights

- As such neither would attack the other in this scenario, though Childe would very much want to, and Albedo would very much be prepared to.      - and both of these people are very observant (Albedo in the general sense and Childe in the ‘reading body language for combat’ sense) so both of them are completely aware of that, though Albedo would probably acknowledge that it may just be a result of his own paranoia

- However, unless Childe has orders otherwise, he tends to approach interactions with a more amiable attitude, extending his hand and introducing himself as “Childe,” less flamboyant than normal, because yes he’s extra, but not an idiot, he’s not gonna say “hey girlie, hold still” when the guy obviously has his hand tensed like that, “discretely” ready to reach for whats assumed to be a weapon, a melee one based on the position, sword or polearm probably

- Albedo, isn’t really one for pleasantries though, he has a number of things he still needs to do, and he does not want this Harbinger in or nearby his camp. “I’m aware” he says, giving his full attention, so as not to be caught off guard, and to get this over as quickly as possible. “I assume you have some purpose behind this visit. I am rather busy at the moment, so i would prefer that we keep this interaction brief.”

- and Childe is a little shit who still doesn’t know how to associate violence and hostility with any kind of bad vibes so he just laughs and holds up his hands “relax relax, I’m not here on business, no need to be on edge, right?”

- But Childe has a tendency while speaking to, knowingly or unknowingly, give his words a rather ominous tone. That and the fact that Albedo is in his lab, one of few places in Dragonspine where any misfortune that might befall him could be pinned on his own experiments keeps him from letting down his guard just yet. 

HOWEVER i cant do dialogue... and this isn’t technically a fanfiction so i can summarize-

- Childe is basically all like “so why the shit are you in dragonspine comrade? i thought yall hated it”

- and albedo is all “experiments and this is where my lab is, is ” but like- not key details cuz he isnt going to reveal stuff to the fatui

-and Childe basically be like “ why up here, isnt there other places,” cuz he legit doesn’t get it. He gets that his mindset isn’t the norm, so he’d assume Albedo would want to do anything to avoid Dragonspine and its dangers like what seems to be the norm for what most people hes interacted with have generally agreed

- and Albedo says some flowery words for like oh “In the pursuit of knowledge if one allows themselves to be dissuaded by potential dangers, then they will find it quite difficult to progress beyond that which is already known”

- which, is important cuz it reflects Childe’s mindset on getting stronger, so he’s like yeah, checks out, and being the extroverted shit he is, he has the guts to ask “aren’t you gonna ask why im in dragonspine?” or something because honestly he likes talking about himself, and thats a topic that doesnt have to do with the fatui so it’s an easy way to make conversation.

- and Albedo, who has by now slightly relaxed just enough to resume preparing the experiment he was preparing before Childe came in. and all passive aggressively is like “The same as the rest of the Fatui, most likely. Now if you don’t mind I do have a number of experiments to conduct and I’m afraid it can get rather dangerous, so it would be best that you take your leave now”

- and Childe gets the message that he’s essentially being told to fuck off but he’s also cheeky as shit and absolutely loves to test his luck so he’d be all “I thought you said not to be dissuaded by potential dangers” sounding all proud of himself for using the other’s words against him 

- and Albedo doesn’t have time for this so he just turns back towards Childe, same tone and same face as before, and repeats “it would best that you take your leave”

- Now Childe doesn’t see this as a challenge persay, but he sees how easily it can turn into one, and speaks the two cliche words “make me”

- but Albedo is also a little shit and just turns to resume his experiment, letting out a sigh “Stay if you’d like. I didn’t consider this possibility but I may have to request my lab be made off limits to the Fatui. A shame, I didn’t plan to return to Mondstadt for quite some time”

- and Childe, he’s decently smart- and he knows a number of things, 1 the other harbingers are gonna be pissed if they find out he caused more work for them again, 2 this individual is interesting and he very much wants the opportunity to fight them in the future, and 3 he’s not involved in politics and should Albedo follow through, the Harbingers wouldn’t give 2 shits if he asked them to try and get the change reversed.

- and so he leaves, but he’ll be back

- Albedo’s threat may have given him the upper hand for now, but it also served as a challenge he wouldn’t forget.       - of course it’s not really that big a deal though, just if he’s ever in Dragonspine again and there’s nothing nearby to kill, he’d keep it in mind, and hey, best case scenario he can get more information to contribute to the Fatui

OKAY

- so now that Childe is gone and Albedo is able to reflect on the interaction, at first he’s just relieved nothing bad happened

- within the following day he reflects once again, deciding that the Harbinger most likely wasn’t lying about his intentions, he truly did seem seem to merely have been curious as he had claimed

- in hindsight he also realizes that conversing with him may also allow him to confirm or deny a number of the theories he had on the Fatui, or perhaps raise more questions for him to look into that he had not yet considered... or at least it could as long as he was careful about how he asked.

- AND THUS there a few more meetings, many are purely conversational, each trying to get knowledge from the other while being fully aware that the other is trying to do the same      - not the type of battle Childe is used to, and it does get boring at times, but it’s all part of the game so he persists

- and eventually, as Albedo recognizes this as a regular thing, he begins enlisting Childe’s help in a number of experiments. Just figuring that since he’s doing an experiment and Childe is there regardless, it’s the most efficient option. That and it keeps the more dangerous questions to a minimum, often redirecting the questions towards alchemy, a much safer topic that he does not need to step so carefully around in order to discuss.

- There comes a point where Childe decides to point out the fact that Albedo most often has him help out with combat-requiring aspects of his experiments, and questions why

- Albedo, figuring it was obvious, reminds him of the conversation a few visits ago, where Childe mentioned his drive to get stronger, and(to requote) said that if he didn’t feel these opponents were sufficient to increase Childe’s strength, he could always bring in a couple Oceanids to fight. He then points out afterwards that ruin guards are a bit easier to fight with a bow

- Mixed responses from Childe including but not limited to      - quickly refusing in the language of hydro vision panic, followed quickly by      - oh, so he’s been trying to help this whole time, to-      - how the fuck would he bring Oceanids to Dragonspine, is that even possible?      - followed by curiosity

- and so he brings up the point that he’s never seen Albedo fight, which is a shame. “If you can’t take them down on your own just say so, no need to make excuses.” because heck yeah he’s going to taunt him, I mean this is Childe

- which of course Albedo returns with “If you want to see me in combat, follow your own advice” because of course, by now he knows about Childe’s combat obsession, like you don’t need to know him that long to figure it out, its kind of obvious. 

- but he recognizes the intention, so he finishes what he’s doing checking what he needs for his future plans before exiting the lab, Childe following behind him, eager to see his future opponent in action

- so albedo goes to a ruin guard/grader/hunter(one of those), because otherwise it’s hilichurls or abyss mages and he knows enough to be able to tell that’s not exactly the kind of opponent Childe meant, and he would prefer not to have the topic brought up again, if he knew how to avoid it.

- so Childe stands back and Albedo, who is well accustomed to having to defeat the enemies in Dragonspine in order to get components for his alchemy knows exactly how to kill this bitch cuz honestly, the number of these guys he’s probably killed for research purposes is astronomical, so it’s done rather quickly and methodically, as if just another part of routine, exactly the way that it had been described when Childe was first asking the Fatui at that one camp about the alchemist.

- And that interest/intrigue that had started in the side of Childe’s mind and grew over time into one of the reasons(tho not the main reason) that he would often go to Dragonspine... it multiplied exponentially

- cue a few more visits and a new turning point occurs

Klee

- Childe comes to visit, and upon arriving at the lab he sees a child

- cue Childe approaching again, amiable grin on is face “and who’s this young lady”       - because it’s literally canon that he’s good with kids

.....

- but Klee isn’t any kid

- and Klee was there for the briefing so she has just as much information on Childe as any of the other higher ranking knights      - and only that much information

- a short time later they’re cleaning up the scattered remains of what was Albedo’s last experiment, lucky that the explosion was set off near the entrance so the damage wasn’t too extensive

- “Please don’t tell Master Jean, Dodocco said he was sorry”

- Cue Childe’s “I’m not a bad guy... okay I’m kind of a bad guy” quote       - “but I mean no harm, I’m a friend of Albedo’s”

- and Albedo’s standing there like when I agree to that but he wants to see how this plays out

- and I’m really unfamiliar with Klee’s characterization, but you get the point Childe is canonically god at kids, he’s gonna learn that Klee’s basically Albedo’s little sister, Klee’s gonna get attached to him and remind him of his siblings back home, Childe’s interaction with Klee is basically what gets Albedo to start actually somewhat trusting Childe as opposed to just using him from a metaphorical distance and subtly helping in ways that wouldnt really negatively impact the knights

- and now that hes no longer actively distrustful his mind is more open to actually becoming attached, as he now begin to recognize that that which he initially believed to be mere manipulation tactics was actually just... Childe being genuine, or as genuine as a person can be in their situation

OKAY OKAY OKAY NOW THAT ALL THAT IS ESTABLISHED I CAN GET INTO THE DYNAMIC 

- so theres the obvious things i already mentioned, like their mutual extreme drive to improve in their respective fields that separates them from others, even within their own respective groups/organizations which already(to an extent) separate their members from most others

now lets talk about this point specifically

- both Childe and Albedo are capable of helping each other grow in their respective fields.

- two things that have the potential to cause Childe trouble and lessen his combat ability and the problems with his delusion and his foul legacy transformation

- these two things are things likely unlike anything that Albedo has been able to study before (tho delusions he might have some experience with- but it’s unlikely) and it would likely be able to expand his knowledge, were he given the opportunity to experiment them, while simultaneously helping childe improve his strength

HOWEVER

- both of them know just how fragile the relationship(whatever it is) between them is, how quickly tensions can shift and orders can change, so in order to protect both the other and themselves they both understand that actually going through with this wouldn’t truly be safe and both sides could get in trouble for it

- because no matter what they do there will always be a constantly present risk hanging over their heads, but ill come back to that

- Dragonspine      - in a lot of Albedo ships, the other character has to go through the effort of going to Dragonspine, which tends to serve as an obstacle for the relationship to be overcome (exception of sucrose and... idk do people ship him with Timeus? just in case, recognizing them both as potential exceptions)       - However, in the case of Childe, who legitimately enjoys coming to Dragonspine, he wouldn’t hesitate to visit Albedo      - with most it becomes “wow, i haven’t seen Albedo in a while, gee, i wish he’d come down the mountain, nonetheless i am a good lover so i shall make the harsh trek to see my beloved”      - with this bitch Childe tho it’s more like “oops, feelin’ homesick, Imma see how Albedo’s doing, hope he’s made progress, wonder if Klee will be there” or “Wow I haven’t seen Albedo in awhile. Finna finish up these fatui duties real quick and head over, if i say im checking on the Fatui stationed there, I dont even have to ask to go on leave” (he gets in trouble for not officially asking for a day off anyways)

-anywho, Childe is largely used to interacting with the Harbingers, who always seem to have some other secret second layered plan of sorts that he’s not always informed about (ex: him being intended to fail when he summoned Osial, but being kept in the dark about it), which conflicts with Childe’s relatively straight forward nature      - Albedo also possesses the potential to be similar, however he doesn’t often see the need for such things, preferring to be frank about his goals and expectations, so unlike with his fellow harbingers, Childe knows that when Albedo tells him something or asks something of him, what he’s being told is usually exactly what actually is true/intended. And if it’s not, Albedo is the kind of person to explain that it’s something he can’t tell him, which he understands, since he has his own share of things he cant share because of his Fatui alignment.

- there is going to be an interaction where at some point Childe is rambling about his family back home, and Albedo questions him about what they look like, a few days later handing him a surprisingly accurate drawing of his siblings      - “I did have to try to check appearance with the traveler but unfortunately they weren’t in Mondstadt, do I do hope there aren’t too many inaccuracies”      - Homeboy doesn’t cry(probably) but he gets really fucking close      - cue socially isolated Alchemist boy misunderstanding and trying to apologize, which Childe responds to by just hugging him- because both of these boys are touch starved and honestly they fucking need it. 

- and now that Childe knows Albedo doesn’t actually have a significant boundary on physical affection, as with most Childe ships... it happens a lot

- headcanon that Childe tends to just lean/rest his head on things like a dog.  - additional headcanon that Albedo tends to have a need to keep his hands busy at all times     - so just cue the scene where Albedo is working on experiments as usual, Childe watching from behind with his head rested on his shoulder and Albedo just absentmindedly playing with his hair with one hand while the other continues with his work

- also talking with Albedo gives Childe a a lot of harmless fun facts and he loves rubbing it in they’re faces when he gets to correct one of the other harbingers on something because of this

- Albedo does also have a tendency to overthink things though, and Childe’s more straight forward mindset gives a new perspective that helps him work around issues more often than he would have expected

- Also Albedo’s love language is totally words of affirmation (i will die on this hill, he doesn’t even realize he does it probably). So he wouldn’t hesitate to sincerely thank or praise Childe whenever he helps or does something good. And Childe is a Fatui, most of the praise he gets is from the subordinates who admire him yes, but also lowkey highkey fear him, and especially after all of Liyue knows he summoned Osial basically, he is pretty damn starved for affirmation and praise and wouldn’t even notice just how much until Albedo gave that to him.      - like Childe is over here melting into a puddle of fluff and Albedo probably wouldn’t even realize what he’s doing, he’s just stating his observations out loud

- Childe and Albedo making a pinkie promise, Childe does the little Snezhnayan chant, and Albedo’s gaze just shifts slowly towards the nearby frozen lake in intense concern

- They go ice fishing with Klee who introduces Childe to fish blasting and it’s a whole new world of possibilities now. Albedo has many regrets.

- the harbingers have all basically figured it out by now and are concerned about security but mostly they just mock him for it      - the Fatui stationed in Dragonspine however, probably know because 1 they’ve seen Childe with Albedo almost every time he visits, and Childe brags about it regularly           - at this point a majority of them ship it and needless to say Albedo’s risk of death via Fatui has gone down significantly, and it’s had a surprisingly positive benefit on relations between the knights and Fatui overall

- the Knights took a bit longer to catch on, since Albedo isn’t exactly in Mondstadt all that often, but it’s the city of freedom, what are they gonna do? say no? again, they are concerned about security risks, but trust Albedo to recognize what should be withheld.

- also its canon that Childe enjoys cooking, and Albedo has a line about like... let me look it up rq- It’s his “Least Favorite Food” line which talks about how he doesn’t eat at restaurants cuz he has a small appetite and doesn’t want to waste food, which is unfortunate cuz then he has to spend time making his own food      - idk its kind of small but i just saw it and thought it was kind of a cute detail

- Childe is a chaotic bean and we love him for it      - on the other hand Albedo is more calm and patient, able to put up with this, and realistically, he has enough experience with Klee to not accidentally put him out or down or otherwise dampen his natural personality...... it’s just when the two of them get together that Albedo experiences true fear.

- Albedo: I have an idea for an experiment but the Jean has suggested that the risk is- - Childe: you should do it! - Albedo: -that the risk is too great and has disallowed me from continuing it - Childe: Oh? well she can’t tell me not to it, now can she?  - Both: *mutual gremlin noises*

anyway... im probs gonna add more to this later.... I’m just really bad at coming up with ship dynamics- so my main point in this is to get people to realize that it possible and that it could work- because there is... nearly 0 material on it- and i just think it has the potential to be so wonderful but I do not have the potential to make it that way. Like it has the potential for so many different dynamics and iconic moments and theres so many reasonable ways they could meet and just so many possibilities and im just really hoping to show the ship to more people because, y’know, it’s rare and i want them to suffer from the lack of content too, because I’m just a kind person like that.

i would have put it under a cut if i could, but i have no idea how to do that so... apologies...

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

is this Devyn's blog?

hey anon, i'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this; between insomnia, work, my birthday, and other personal issues (along with accidentally deleting my initial response in a sleep-deprived lapse of judgement..), i've been pretty low on energy - but hopefully i'll be feeling better soon?

as for your question, it isn't a complete yes or no answer. yes, Devyn is a mod on this blog, and yes, he posts a lot; but nobody 'owns' this blog. all mods are equals; both in the literal sense that we all have to have administrator privileges in order to answer asks, and also that we rely on each other to help with anything we post. we're all human, and as such, we know that we have weaknesses and blindspots; as a team, we talk to each other to help smooth over some of those wrinkles to help y'all the best ways that we can - so even when one specific person's name is put on a post, more often than not, we have all contributed in some way. the reason that Devyn answers things more often than the rest of us is because he simply has a lot more time and energy than the rest of us do, and trying to write a whole response ourselves can be exhausting when you are already low on energy; but conveying our thoughts or opinions to each other for someone else to weave into a post takes a lot less energy. as such, the rest of us on the mod team really appreciate that Devyn is able to answer more often! its not that Devyn is more committed or holds more power than the rest of the mods, just that he's been more available to answer things recently.

and as a side note: we got another ask somewhat along this line of thought, but it mentioned the name of someone who made personal posts on their personal blog - and since i don't want to risk 'calling them out' (for lack of a better term), i don't feel comfortable posting that ask, so i'm adding my response to it here.

i want to start off by saying, we do appreciate when people bring up concerns that they have! giving us feedback on things that might make you uncomfortable or bother you helps us learn how to better help y'all. without feedback, we kinda just assume that we're doing alright - so encourage anyone to give us constructive feedback (i.e., dont just say something like "i dont like [thing] about mod x, fix it" - give us suggestions on how to best fix it!) if something we do bothers you! we wont be upset; you mentioning how we can better help you means that you do care about us, and we would never get upset at y'all for that. and, as such, we do really appreciate that you brought up your issues with us! genuinely our only issue was the fact a specific person was named (which really isnt even an issue - telling us who made the posts helped us find the posts, since we hadnt previously known about them) and we just don't want to inadvertently cause problems for them. we really dont think you had meant to purposefully cause strife, so please dont think we're upset with you!

as for your ask, i get why you would feel that way. Devyn tends to answer a lot and doesn't cushion his answers as much as some of us do, but it isn't due to him not caring or simply wanting the inbox empty - Devyn does care a lot about answering things well, he just prefers to get to the point rather than writing out giant walls of text. rather than try to explain things for Devyn, i'm gonna let him finish up the post by explaining his method for answering asks - i dont want to accidentally say anything that isnt true, but i can guarentee that Devyn does care. if he didn't care, he wouldn't still be here - he does care for all of you, and he does want to help! if he didn't, he wouldn't be putting in the effort that he has been to change how he responds to things in a way that won't upset or trigger people, and he wouldn't put in the effort to try and get input from the rest of us mods. please, do let us know if there's anything else we can do moving forward to help things feel less bad for you. we don't want anyone to feel like they cant be helped or that we dont care for them.

mod berry 💗

---

Hey anon.

I wanted to make sure I also answered this in case you were looking for an answer from me directly.

Originally I had a few paragraphs here essentially echoing what Berry said, but it felt too repetitive and I ended up cutting it out.

We had another ask that we mentioned we're tacking the response to on here. I'm going to copy-paste some of the text from it for context since y'all obviously haven't (and won't) see it, so that my response makes sense:

[...] we wrote in and got a quick response from Devyn whereas previously we got really detailed responses from other mods. It felt like Devyn just sees it as a rush to clear the inbox and not work with other mods. And now this blog feels like his exclusively.

I want to start by saying I understand how how I was pretty much the only one who answered anything during September made you feel like this blog is mine exclusively, but I assure you that's not the case - it just happened to be a particularly shitty month for all the mods here. While those issues haven't disappeared, we should have more availability to answer asks currently.

Secondly, something I think will be helpful is if I walk you through the process of how I answer an ask. I was going to use this one to do that and then proceeded to get distracted and forgot and answered it, so here's a fake example ask. Let's say this ask comes in:

Let's say the question is something any of us can answer easily, like, "How many followers do you have?" That's an easy question and we can all look at our follower count and give you a number. So I click answer.

I always start answering genuine asks with some sort of greeting. Usually "Hey anon," is my go-to. Then the answer. "Oh, we have this many." Then I'll end with a well-wish and my name. Easy enough.

I think part of the issue is that if people ask yes or no questions (like "is my trauma valid?") I'd rather say something short in response, like, "Yes, your trauma is valid regardless of what it is," and sign my name than waste our readers' time and my breath answering with extra words. I just don't see the point in using more words than I need to. I try very hard to make it clear, especially in shorter responses, that I'm not trying to be hostile and am actively aware of my tone. Some answers have more words in them because I always try to make sure to explain what I feel could be misunderstood and that's not always easily done in one or two sentences.

Another thing that might be part of the issue is that Berry, for example, tends to answer asks by grouping paragraphs after which they hit enter only once, and I hit enter twice to start a new paragraph. That doesn't mean Berry's answer has any more actual content in it than mine does, it just might look like that because the format ends up looking more dense in Berry's answer.

Anyway, if someone feels like they want to answer a certain ask but doesn't have the spoons, they can save it with their name to the drafts, which is where a lot of our unpublished asks live. It's like the purgatory of the ask box, because sometimes I put an ask there and sometimes I only think about it. 😬

Asks that go to our drafts aren't ignored, that's just sort of a transition period. If the ask is slightly more complicated, we usually discuss it first in the mod Discord - which you guys obviously can't see. Sometimes if we collaborate on an ask, whoever sees it in the ask box first is the one who ends up answering it, but not always. But we usually just sign those with a single name for sake of ease. If we put all the names of all the mods who contributed any thought to an ask, most of them would have all of our names on them. Also, it's not necessarily accurate to sign my name to an ask if all I'm commenting on is the tone of an ask. Sure, I technically contributed, but I didn't say anything helpful.

If multiple people have thoughts on an ask, usually what we do is one person answers it and the others reblog with their thoughts. This ask is an exception because last time we answered an ask specifically about me that way, it escalated the situation, and we're trying to avoid that.

If none of us know how to answer an ask, we'll usually publish it for our followers' input after a week. I try to follow up about asks that are in drafts pretty often, so usually they don't sit there for a month, but like we've said multiple times, this month has been a bit of an outlier for all of us.

So essentially what I'm saying is that just because you don't see active ask collaboration happening doesn't mean it's not. It all happens in the Discord and, unless you're also a mod in our server, you're not going to see that discussion happening.

Hopefully this helps with the misunderstandings.

Mod Devyn

[pk-majora]

exploring my natal chart like pt 13 i think. found another really great website for a free chart astro-charts.com

I was born during a waning crescent moon and a lot of planets were in retrograde when i was born.

"A Waning Crescent is a wise, aged moon that has already experienced every phase in the cycle. This causes people born under a Waning Crescent to possess special talents or knowledge. Having this unique perspective can lead to a life of success, imagination, and fulfillment."

SOURCES: https://www.yourmoonphase.com/blogs/your-moon-phase/what-the-moon-phase-on-your-birthday-says-about-you#:~:text=A%20Waning%20Crescent%20is%20a,success%2C%20imagination%2C%20and%20fulfillment.

"Retrograde Mercury: These people absorb thoughts and ideas through repetition and osmosis rather than careful, deliberate study. Constantly editing, reviewing, rethinking, replaying it in their mind. Own best teacher. Questions what others accept as gospel. More capable of dealing with abstractions and impressions than those with Mercury direct.

Retrograde Jupiter: These people are capable of taking advantage of opportunities that others ignore or pass by. They prefer to “take another crack” at things others have tried and failed. Their moral and ethical code, religion, and philosophy are their own. They seek answers from within rather than subscribing to the dogma of the outside world. They seek abundance in new, untried, and unproven areas.

Retrograde Saturn: These people may doubt their worthiness as human beings. May avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes and be fearful of taking chances. There is often subconscious fear of rejection and loss. Their limitations and burdens are self-imposed. This may be the most difficult retrograde.

Retrograde Uranus: Here is a natural-born rebel. Strong reformer instincts — for everybody else. These folks have a strong inner need and desire to persistently test their personal abilities against those of others. They must constantly prove themselves to themselves. In seeking greater freedom for themselves, they may limit the freedom of others.

Retrograde Neptune: These people may be confused inwardly as to whether they are “virtuous” or not. Persistently seek to help others, whether their help is wanted or not. They are more susceptible and more easily taken in by others."

SOURCES: https://www.mollysastrology.com/lessons/retrograde-planets/

Some other information about my chart:

"Most of the inner planets are located in the top hemisphere

Mars is on the Midheaven

Ascendant and Mc are in 9 aspects

Venus in Libra and Uranus in Aquarius are in the signs of their rulership.

The Square aspect occurs the most, a total of 11 times

Uranus and Neptune are rising

The bottom right quadrant is empty

The Fixed mode is dominant among the inner planets"

SOURCES: astro-charts.com (they give you all that info if it applies to you when you make your chart super cool website)

Based on my chart from cafeastrology.com I have:

6 masculine/4 feminine placements

3 cardinal/4 fixed/3 mutable mode placements

and my breakdown by element is 3 fire/3 earth/3 air/and 1 water sign lmfao which is my scorpio mars + midheaven lmfao.

Going to see if I can find out what that all means too lmfao.

Also found some really cool websites with info on chiron and lillith placements.

"Chiron is the wounded healer and shows our long-term wounds that often come from a past lifetime. Chiron in Libra is the particular wound of relationships.

We tend to overcompensate in Chiron areas by becoming a bit extreme. It’s natural to try and “fix” the wound, but often I find that we chase a solution to fix our Chiron, instead of uncovering the solution inside of us.

Unlike other planets, it’s hard to ignore your Chiron. It will hit you in the face, over and over, and can make your life pretty terrible, especially if you don’t know how to work with it. The Chiron in Libra wound is especially difficult because it’s all about relationships, something we deal with almost every day.

Chiron in Libra means that you feel like there is something missing from your life. Usually, this “something” is your soul mate.

The Chiron in Libra wound might feel like a hole inside you. You may spend time trying to fill it with things from the outside world. You might also feel as though the world is just a bit off-balance at all times.

With Chiron in Libra, you are hurt by loneliness, but you are also hurt by relationships. Whether you’re in a relationship or are alone, the wound is there. Chiron in Libra shows itself no matter how hard you try to hide it.

There can be a lot of anxiety and guilt surrounding the Chiron in Libra wound. These people typically feel inadequate socially as a child, regardless of whether or not this is apparent to others.

This Chiron in Libra wound can show itself in a variety of ways. Often, these people feel alone and incomplete without a relationship, but they never find the fulfillment that they’re looking for in any relationship, either.

The Chiron in Libra wound usually manifests as conflict in interpersonal relationships. It is really difficult for these folks to have relationships without triggering the wound. This can include conflicts in romantic relationships, as well as partnerships and friendships. If you have Chiron in Libra, be wary of self-neglect in relationships.

Most relationships for the Chiron in Libra person will be karmic. It is important for these folks to focus on relationships in order to heal the wound, but this spotlight must have the intention of learning and working on ways to approach relationships that are more authentic.

It’s not abnormal for the Chiron in Libra person to wear a mask in a relationship. It might be really hard for them to show their true self to their partner for fear of losing the relationship.

The terror of being alone makes it hard for a Chiron in Libra person to get out of a relationship, even if it becomes unhealthy. It’s not uncommon for these relationships to have some sort of abuse involved in them, mainly because the Chiron in Libra person is passive and malleable, so they’re really a prime target.

I find that those with Chiron in Libra tend to give far more than they receive. This is most likely due to their fear of being left alone. There are definitely “people-pleaser” tendencies with this placement; these are the classic conflict-avoidant individuals.

Alternatively, the Chiron in Libra individual can be so afraid of being alone that they refuse to engage in relationships at all. I don’t see this outcome as much, but it is certainly a possibility. These people are often able to give others relationship advice that they can’t follow themselves.

Typically, the Chiron in Libra person gets into relationships with those who show a mirror image of the qualities they can’t see in themselves. They might also give to their partners what they aren’t able to give to their inner selves.

A Chiron in Libra individual might live a double life. It’s easy for them to hide who they truly are inside if they feel that they must put on a face in order to stay in a relationship. Sometimes, these people will do this for years, even while living with a partner.

This really is the classic Romeo & Juliet placement. Chiron in Libra is all about sacrificing yourself for the partner. Often, individuals do this because they are desperately trying to heal the wound, but it doesn’t fix it.

I find that most Chiron in Libra placements are developed in a past life. Unlike other wounds, this wound is about karmic relationships, so Chiron in Libra people will usually meet the same souls over and over until the wound is healed.

Sometimes, these Chironic beliefs are cemented by parents or through other early life experience, but the original wound almost always comes from a relationship trauma in a past life.

The first step to healing Chiron in Libra is to recognize that the true soul mate is within. The Chiron in Libra person is constantly looking to fill that “soul mate” void with other people, but they will only feel truly complete by connecting with the inner self.

You will find with this placement that others reflect your own needs back to you. If you see qualities in others that you feel you lack, then it’s time to try and discover those qualities within yourself instead of outsourcing.

You will need to learn how to be authentic in a relationship, without hiding any part of yourself. You probably feel fear that you might be left alone if you do reveal your true self, but this is fear that you have to process and move through. It’s okay to be afraid. The lesson with Chiron in Libra is to do it anyways!

Unconditional love for the self is something that will be helpful for you to develop. You will learn, by doing this work, that separateness and aloneness were simply illusions. I find that energy work can be especially helpful, as well as meditation and inner work."

SOURCES: https://teaandrosemary.com/chiron-in-libra/

(Lillith in Virgo) "Rebellion against order; provocative humour.

Their sensuality is strongly suppressed by trying to appear calm; emotional conflicts often occur because it is very difficult for these people to feel relaxed. They want to suppress their instincts or they appear to be cold and perverted.

Beware of alcoholism and surgery of the intestines."

SOURCES: https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/lilith-in-virgo-sign-astrology-meaning

I also have something called a yod that i dont quite understand yet lol. it looks like an isosceles triangle in my chart between my MC, North Node, and Saturn and it looks like its pointing at my saturn but idk what that means lol. the chart on astro-charts.com just let me know i have it lmfao.

[system-of-a-feather]

Due to a general number of asks running along the similar lines of these, I am going to make a general response to those asks and proceed to remove them from the inbox as I don’t feel they will be able to be answered anytime soon and are generally under a similar response and in concept and I felt I would clear these out while I was out for Riku since I have the time and the mental space to read through them. The asks I will be referencing will be at the end under a keep reading - noted in numbers.

-----

To these asks, and any of those reading that might be wondering similarly, we can not give too much of a say on if something is or is not DID / OSDD considering that we are both not a professional and simply due to the innate nature that DID / OSDD are easy to misdiagnose both for other disorders and with other disorders and do need a lot of context that no single ask - or multiple asks - could properly provide a single person enough context to know for sure. Such topics are best talked to towards a professional that can invest time into exploring and discussing individual experiences, the history, and have a better look at the general presentation of your symptoms, experiences, and life history to come to a conclusion about what might be currently going on.

To the first ask, yes, it is entirely possible for neglect to cause DID and OSDD. The two main components to form DID is childhood trauma (neglect included) that might cause a child to dissociate from themselves in a sense of flight/fight and to avoid confronting the pain an fear that they have at the moment and a disorganized attachment to a parent / caregiver.

To the second ask, I am really sorry to hear that you were treated the way you were as a child and that really is absolutely no environment that any human should ever have to have grown up in. I can’t say if you have DID or not as mentioned above, but I would like to say that it isn’t unheard of for alters to form / originate as characters made up for a story or roleplay. Two of the alters in our system that are considerably out of contact with most of the system and partially dormant originated from characters that Riku had originally made that had some parallels to her life as well. One was a well built character, the other not. Like stated above though, it really might be something work looking into talking about with a therapist since there are some reasons to question it there.

To the third ask, there are a number of things that could present similarly to having that feeling other than OSDD / DID considering dissociation (a symptom found in other disorders such as severe depression, schizophernia, PTSD, and BPD) in general can cause similar issues to a certain extent of disconnect, disruption of identity, and a disconnect from one’s own thoughts into making them seem like they are not one’s own. I am not here saying that it isn’t, but I would look into talking to a professional about it. There might be more context that might lean towards OSDD or DID but also might lead to a different diagnosis that is similar with dissociation. If you are concerned about having something similar to DID / OSDD, it really is something you might definitely want to look into with a professional.

-Lucille (Primary Protector)

1)  “I have to ask. As a person who suffered from physical, emotional, and medical (? Idk if that falls under physical or not. Still trying to accept it lol) negelect, I have started to question if I might have DID or not? Can neglect cause it? I know there was some abuse otherwise, but mainly it was neglect and I dont know if that would be bad enough to cause DID or not. If this is triggering, dont feel obligated to answer. Love you and hope you're doing good! ♥️ “

---

2) “Hey, when I was a kid, my parents had terrifying anger. My dad used to be in the army and when I made mistakes or he didn’t like something I did, he went ballistic. There was a time he broke a broom in front of us over his leg. Another time when he slapped me repeatedly and I had to tell my teacher I fell and hit my face - I didn’t even understand why I had to lie. My mom blew up over little things, and I had depersonalization since I was a kid. (1)

A couple years ago my sister made a comment on how my dad used to say ‘I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you!’ But I don’t remember that part. I’ve always been afraid to ask for something, only for my birthday or christmas, and felt I was walking on eggshells around my parents. They were still really loving, but I’ve had difficulty with their anger and my response to real or perceived anger is to fawn. And when I perceive a threat, I start to feel detached from myself. (2)

I noticed too that I have different modes I switch between, and lately I’ve been feeling more distressed and feel myself on different wavelengths/sense of self, and when I switch from one sense to another, I’ve been having micro-moments of disorientation. Then I catch up. I’ve felt multiple presences in my head, usually it’s characters from a long developed fictional universe. There’s one predominant one I feel, who seems to have developed sort of recently over the past few years. (3)

He was formed through a role play game and had many parallels with me during his development. I have diagnosed autism and I feel like just now at 24 I’m developing social skills I should’ve learned growing up. A lot of the time I feel like a child still, and when I’m in different emotional states, I feel I can’t relate much to myself. I also have difficulty with a sense of identity. I don’t feel like the same person as I was when going to university. I feel like I have osdd-1. (4?-end)”

---

3) “ive been researching did because its the only thing similar to what I experience but I dont think I can have it because ive read the trauma causing did has to happen by a certain age & my trauma happened a bit later than that age. I have no clue what is going on with my brain, I often feel as though my thoughts are someone else & I can hold conversations with this.. other person? but theyve never really fronted. they're just there & I'm not even sure if its just 1 of them or multiple.”

[willofhounds]

Storm that shakes the pine ch1

A/N yes I know I have a lot of fics to finish but I couldn't help myself. If you dont like m/m go elsewhere. If you dont like soulmates go away. For the rest of you enjoy the story.

Once the reincarnation happens they will be called by their new names. Not by their old.

:thoughts:

"Speaking"

Ozpin's POV

Oscar's body was barely holding itself together. Around them lay their comrades and Salem who was finally dead. Three years in the new reincarnation and they had finally done it.

A tinge of guilt and sadness went through him. This was his fault. If he never returned to the world he this wouldn't have happened. Salem would have stayed a lone witch in the forest.

As his green brown eyes swept over the field he saw Ruby Rose. His brave silver eyed warrior had been the one to defeat Salem.

With the help of Maria Calavera she mastered the powers of her eyes. In the end Jinn had been right. Ozpin and Oscar fighting together in harmony were unable to kill Salem. Their shared body sustained mortal injuries. It was a testament to their sheer willpower that they stayed standing.

All of his friends and colleagues lay dying now. Just when they had saved the world from Salem they weren't going to see it rebuild itself.

Oscar he could tell was tired of war. The war had burdened them all. Oscar being as young as he was got hit the hardest. He was just a boy who was pulled from everything he knew into a war he never wanted to fight.

Ozpin guided Oscar. Trained him mentally and physically. There was only so much one could prepare. Watching ones friends die wasn't something he could prepare Oscar for.

:Oz... it's not your fault. We did all we could was fight our hardest. We won...: came Oscar's tired voice.

Ozpin answered as his own exhaustion coming out, :I only wish I could have done more. We've lost our friends.:

:Oz...:

There wasn't a chance to respond to Oscar. The four relics began to shine their power enveloped them. All of his aches and pains receded.

Ozpin blinked. The world around them whited out. A familiar setting was before him. A golden dragon floated above him.

It took Ozpin several seconds to realize he looked like Ozpin before he was Oscar. Looking around he saw Oscsr. For the first time in thousands of years he was alone in his head.

Ruby and the others also stood around the dragon. As the God of Light he would be able to bring their souls to him. Just as he had done with Ozma.

Ruby asked carefully, "Are you the God of Light? Why are we here?"

The God rumbled as it looked at each of them, "Each of you have played a pivotal role in bringing down Salem. You have overcome your shortcomings and put aside your differences. Some of you even learned from mistakes of the past to get where you are now."

Ozpin flinched. That last part was meant for him. It was his actions that led Salem here.

God of Light continued, "Each of you have earned the right to either go on to the after life. Or to go onto another world where you will be reborn. Things will be different in this world than what you know. No creatures of Grim as you call them. Magic is born into some souls but not others. As a gift those that choose to go to this world will be given magic."

Oscar questioned softly, "What about me? My soul is intertwined is intertwined with Ozpin's."

"That is up to you. Should you both go on to the new world you will not be the same person."

Relief flooded them both. The last thing they wanted was to forever be connected to each other again. Ozpin knew what a burden it was. He didnt want to be such a burden upon the boy again. Let him live his own life without the threats of war and death.

This was a second chance for him to do good. Good without having causing the evil.

Ozpin declared, "I will go on to this new world."

"As will I," came from Qrow.

"You're not getting rid of me that easy, Ozpin," from James.

"I want to see this new world," Ruby.

The God of Light rumbled once more, "Despite you all leaving this world at the same time; not all of you will not enter the next at the same time. Ages and lives will vary but you will all find your own path. Never forget the bonds you have forged. They will serve you well.

White lights surrounded them accepting their choices. Yang was the next to speak, "I'm sorry Ruby but I will not be going with you. I'm tired of the war and fighting. All I want is peace."

They didnt get to hear what anyone else said. The God of Light sent them on.

In the end Ozpin was reborn as Newton Fido Artemis Scammander. He was the second son of the Scammander family.

The Scammander family was a Dark family. His magic was naturally dark as it came from blood first then what was practiced second. Even if Newt was to practice light magic his magic would never be any lighter than dark neutral.

His parents were not what he had grown to expect of the dark. They were gentle with him. There wasn't an ounce of hatred in their eyes.

Newt's biggest struggle though was accepting help. It had been thousands of years since he was so vulnerable. In his previous reincarnations they were all at least 12 or older. They were able to take care of themselves.

Along with accepting his parents help he had a brother five years older than himself. Theseus Scammander was an intelligent boy if his parents were to be believed. They treated him like he was a genius.

When they first came face to f eyes were familiar. Three years of seeing that when he looked in the mirror made them hard to forget.

They were Oscar's eyes. His own eyes were green with a hint of an amber swirl. Both of them groaned internally. The God of Light had a sick sense of humor.

When Theseus turned seven he did something unexpected. Newt was watching from one of the chairs as he unlocked his aura.

Theseus's aura was a dark green. No longer the light green that they had grown used to. The look on his brother's face was comical. It was the final proof that their souls were no longer fully connected. That their destinies intertwined but not overlapping.

Not two months after that Theseus got his soulmate mark. It was that of a raven taking flight. His brother was excited and so were their parents.

Powerful families had the crest of the raven. His parents offered to help Theseus with the search but his brother only shook his head. He would find his soulmate on his own.

The years passed until Newt was five. One day he was out in the gardens and a small green twig like creature moved down the tree he was laying against. From the children books he was allowed to read he knew it was a bowtruckle.

Normally a shy creature it came to rest on his shoulder. With a fascination that he had not felt in a long he began to play with the bowtruckle. Through trial and error he found out that they had their own language. It was through clicks.

With its helps he was able to meet the other bowtruckles in tree. Unlike the one on his shoulder they were more suspicious of him. Earning their trust took weeks but eventually they accepted him.

On Theseus's eleventh birthday they went to Diagon Alley. He got his Hogwarts letter. As Newt would find out every magical child in Britain got this letter. One day Newt would too.

It was in one of the lesser shops that Newt found his cane. It seemed that even in a new world he would never escape the past fully. At first his parents didnt want to buy it since it was Theseus's birthday.

At Theseus's insistence however they got it. As with all his previous lives it felt right in his hands; though to small to wield it properly. Theseus watched over him as he began to practice movements that were second nature once.

By the time he was seven Theseus was a second year in Hogwarts. His own soulmate mark had appeared. It was a circle in a triangle with a line through the middle. The symbol he recognized through his books. It was that of the Deathly Hallows.

Who his soulmate was he didn't know. What he did know was that they would be searching for the Hallows. Most believed it was just a fairy tale. Newt knew that every had some truth to it. Wherever the Hallows were he would avoid them. He had no interest in soulmates.

So he hid his mark with long sleeved shirts or a bracelet. If no one saw it then there was a lesser chance that he would find whoever his soulmate was.

He had learned that dark, light, and neutral magic weren't evil or good. It wasn't like Remnant were dark magic was evil. A lot of it depended on the wizard's intentions.

This made accepting his heritage easier. Having seen what the darkness had done to Salem he at first was wary of it. Now he knew as long as his intentions were true then he would not be consumed by the dark. That was what would push him forward.

The main event in his seventh year of life was unlocking his aura. He remembered the power and sense of duty it gave him every time he had unlocked it. The oath every huntsman had made. This would be his final time making it.

Inside the library away from prying eyes he said, "For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all, infinite in distance and unbound by death," his heart pounded in his chest. Something in him gave away at the words and a new feeling of duty filled him, "I release your soul, and by my shoulder protect thee."

A familiar light green light erupted from his chest. It flashed over his body exhausting his energy. His energy was the same level of a seven year old so he couldn't hold it for long.

This encouraged Newt to train every day. On the holidays when Theseus came back he was surprised when his brother offered to train with him. Theseus had decided to be an auror the police of the magical world. He wanted to train both his body and magic for whatever was to come. Newt obliged.

Spars were immensely difficult for the younger Scammander. He was smaller and lighter than his brother. His reflexes slower than he would have liked. Giving up wasnt in him and he pushed through working the old memories into muscle memory. His aura growing stronger with each passing day.

Along with reading and retraining his magic there was little time for idleness. What little time he did find was spent with the creatures. The creatures watched him as he worked through his training. Slowly but surely warming up to him.

From Hippogryffs to bowtruckles all creatures of his home accepted him. In turn he accepted them. They were beings to be cherished.

Finally his eleventh birthday came and he like his brother. Theseus was entering his sixth year and still had not found his soulmate. Not unusual by any means but it discouraged him.

Newt knew that Theseus would find the one meant for him. As long as they lived he would search. Newt would look for the mark that matched it.

September 1st rolled around and Newt felt excitement. He was curious to see what was learned in the schools here.

[mr-mr-ontheradio]

Something changed after Jan 2014. Harry changed. Jeff more in the picture. Enter Kendall still hanging by. Minimal Larry interaction. Something happened. Harry's entire look and persona changed. I always thought it was the time that Harry matured and wasn't naive or wide eyed anymore.. More closed off before cameras. Maybe Larry also had some fights, obviously like any couple. What are your thoughts about it??

ok 2014. I've been meaning to make a masterpost about this so thanks for the question.

So 2014 was the Where We Are tour, and the boys were all severely overworked and it SHOWS. Niall lost weight, Louis and Harry both look starved, and Zayn is horrifyingly skinny.

They look on the verge of passing out during this entire interview especially Harry and Zayn.

Zayn was ~rumored to be~ struggling with a drug problem and anorexia during this time, and dealing with his own range of drama but I'll keep this on Harry/Larry.

Obviously an easy explaination for the decreased Larry interaction is that they were broken up. And its very possible they are/were an on again/off again couple and 2014 could have been an "off" period but 2014 is also when

Harry got the anchor corresponding with Louis' rope (January)

Harry gets the heart (February) and Louis gets the arrow (March)

The christ-the-redeemer trip where Harry and Louis are heard kissing in the bread van and this picture is taken where they seem like theyre holding hands (May)

Harry goes to Jay's wedding (July) and holds onto the wedding bracelet all the guests had for the rest of the year, even after it broke.

Louis gets the dagger (November).

Harry sings "Night Changes" directly at Louis during both the Graham Norton Show and the Royal Variety Show (December).

There are a lot of little things/speculation in between but these are the big things I think definitely prove they were still more or less "together" throughout the year. The months we saw virtually no Larry interaction at all were from end of May to End of October, with the major exception being Harry publicly attending Louis' mom's wedding.

It kind of seems like the wedding was a big deal to management (even though I don't think the fandom saw it as proof of anything as much as they were happy to see it happen). But it kind of seems like Louis and Harry had to pay the price for this one because there was a big eleanor presence in the month or so leading up to it whereas before she was barely seen all year apart from one publicized ski trip in February before WWA kicked off. But from the 1st of June until Jay's wedding on the 20th of July, she and Louis were papped twice in paris and once in portugal, she went to 5 or so concerts, she was spotted leaving his hotel twice, she was spotted eating lunch with Louis and Lottie, Louis attended her graduation, Louis took her out for her birthday, and *drumroll please* it was announced Eleanor would be Jay's maid of honor (she was actually just a bridesmaid so they played that one up for the media).

They also brought Paige back breifly in the days leading up to and after the wedding with her posting pics of herself in Harry's clothes on instagram, them attending a party together, them going out to lunch with jeff and the mirror reporting they were dating again.

Meanwhile apart from the stunting, the fandom as a whole was FREAKING TF OUT over the video that was "leaked" at the end of May of Louis and Zayn smoking weed (coincidendally two days after the European leg of WWA had started) and we were being bombarded with articles about bad boy Louis and Zayn, and how perfect 🥰 harry 👼🏼 was 😱 totally 😵 offended 👎🏼 and 😤 against 🙅🏻‍♂️ Louis 😖 and Zayn's 👿 drug addict 🤢 ways 😒.

This wasn't the first time we saw articles about Louis and Harry no longer being friends, but this was definitely a new angle that started to separate Harry and Louis because of an actual reason and it was the beginning of Harry's image being separated from the other boys.

As far as Kendall goes, Hendall seems to have wrapped up in Februrary and then she disappeared for the rest of the year in typical Harry-stunt fashion. Nothing strange there. And when he did hang out with her Jeff was always there. Harry's most prominent "relationship" in 2014 was actually Nadine which didn't even start until December.

Jeff and Harry were definitely attatched at the hip right from the beginning of January for sure. It's not unlike Harry to be like this with new friends though, and he was the same way with Grimmy during the years before.

Jeff is a special case too becuase he's very connected in the industry so I think Harry felt safe with him and it might have comforted Harry to have someone like that he could trust looking out for him. I think Jeff was maybe helping him navigate his way around the utter PR nightmare that was his public image too. He certainly had a lot less "womanizing" stunts in 2014. Jeff might have even been talking to him about taking a break from the band, since 2014 is supposedly when Harry suggested hiatus.

As far as Harry's "look" goes he's literally been changing it every single year. 2010-2011 was baggy pants abercrombie and jack wills. 2011-2012 was the blazers and bowties and the fetus harry hair. 2013 was take me home/fratboy harry. headscarf harry was 2013-2014 until he started wearing those fedoras, then that was his look for a while as his hair grew out and he started wearing the unbuttoned shirts and took on a more hipster/rockstar aesthetic. then he started with the floral shirts and the skin tight jeans leading up to the floral suits and it went from there. Like I said it's never been weird for Harry to completely change his look in a whim. We literally have grandpa harry now.

His persona changed too but really it's not that strange considering he was entering is 20s, 2013 had been hell for him and Louis, he was so overworked that he was probably getting burnt out on the positive side of his life (making music and performing) and starting to resent the negative side of it even more.

As far as being more closed off in interviews, he was probably sick of them since they all ask the same questions and there wasn't much he could say that he hadn't already said. At this point if he'd been in a relationship with Louis for four years then he wouldn't have many anecdotes or side interests that didnt involve Louis or their private life on some level so he might not have had much to talk about. Try to avoid saying "my boyfriend" when you're talking about your life after you've been together for years and years, it's not easy. And he obviously learned the hard way that every thing he says on camera will follow him forever so I think he forced himself to stay quiet rather than risk letting something slip.

In my opinion, overall things weren't really that odd during most of 2014 until november/december when they started Four promo. They were touring most of the year so their lives were pretty out of the spotlight apart from the occasional stunting and Harry hanging out with Jeff in his free time. The changes we saw were typical of someone his position.

I think there were some power struggles behind the scenes based off their little rebellions during WWA ("i have a secret", refusing to deny larry twice when asked directly if there were rumors they wanted to clear up) and 2014 is when RBB started (though i think it was just for fun at the time). Jeff might have been encouraging Harry to stand up for himself against his management or at least teaching him that he didn't have to take everything lying down and he did actually have some leverage.

Jeff also might even have been priming him to go solo and if Louis and the boys suspected Harry was being eyeballed for a solo break out there might have been some tension and I'm sure Louis at least thought that's what was going on. But I don't think it's something they would have broken up over considering at the end of the day Louis has always been supportive of Harry.

I will say that 2015 was one crisis after another though and i think at the end of 2014 we saw that ball start rolling because all the boys looked strung out for the majority of Four promo and Harry was kind of being rebellious as far as maintaining his hetero image with comments like "not that important" and "dont knock it til you try it".

Anyways thats my thoughts on it. I am intoerested to know what you think changed though ?

[godaime-obito]

my fill for @kakaobiweek2019 day 8:time travel. Kushina takes care of things; on ao3 and under the cut!

Kushina isn’t particularly happy about dying. She imagines most people aren’t, but unlike them she’s not going to put up with it. The Shinigami can bite her, she wants back in. Honestly once she woke up she didn’t remember much of being dead, so she can’t really say how she got back to life again, just that she did.

She awakens spooned against Minato. It takes Kushina a long time to convince herself to move. The worst part of being pregnant was not being able to be big spoon properly anymore.

...Is she pregnant? She’s not sure how far back she is. Maybe she just isn’t showing yet? But, maybe, she got lucky and she’s farther back than that. If she gets up and runs through Konoha she might find Rin or even Obito. On second thought, the Shinigami better hope she’ll fin Rin and Obito.

“Pretty boy,” she shouts as she hops out of bed, “I demand an emergency ramen dinner for your team.”

“What? Kushina it’s the morning. It’s too early for dinner,” Minato says bewildered.

“It’s never too early for ramen,” she retorts and throws his usual uniform at him.

Kushina and team Minato arrive at Ichiraku’s as soon as it opens. The kids are exhausted from morning training and Minato is exhausted from delaying Kushina until the stand actually opened.

She decides to sit smack between Obito and Rim instead of her normal spot, but she’s still barely able to contain her enthusiasm at seeing them.

“How’s it going kiddos?” she cheers. Now to keep them from dying somehow.

“I’ve made a lot of progress on my mystic palm efficiency,” Rin volunteers, “Obito’s been working very hard on his kanton and we’re sure Kakashi’s going to be a jounin soon.”

“Wow,” Kushina says with a smirk, “a jounin already Kaka-chan? But you’re still so cute.” He puffs up in response and gets ready to go on one of his little rants, but Kushina can’t hear him over her own laughter. She missed these little rants, after Obito died, no matter how annoying they are.

“Good luck kid,” she says after her laughter dies out, “but don’t get so caught up on your rules that you forget your teammates. When you’re a jounin you’re a leader and you have to consider your subordinates.”

“They’re not my rules, they’re the ninja rules,” Kakashi retorts.

“Look here little punk,” Kushina growls, “I’ve been a jounin years and I think I know a bit more about how the rules work than you. If I hear you’ve been leaving your teammates in the dust I’ll make you regret it.”

“Kushina, darling, I’m sure he’ll give your words plenty of consideration,” Minato reassures her. Trying to diffuse her temper before she gets more worked up. She quiets with a huff and the rest of the meal passes by with the normal sound of Kakashi and Obito bickering, which cheers her up a bit. It feels good to be back.

Kushina tries to believe in Kakashi she really does. But… she knows what a stubborn brat he is. She may take some time off to us to stalk them around on the Kanabi Bridge mission. It isn’t easy to find the time or avoid being seen, but she’s able to help pick off the Iwa nin. Obito makes it home with his two sharingan eyes, and Rin and Kakashi come back intact too. Well, Kakashi still ends up losing his left eye, but you win some you lose some.

Naruto is going to be born soon, which brings her to her second goal: not dying. Things go wildly different. She thought there may be some ripple effect from the things she’s done differently or from Obito surviving, but this is a bit much. She really isn’t sure what she did to cause this. It’s October 10th and instead of the masked man with a sharingan there’s some kind of plant demon with what may be mokuton. They seem like opposite problems, but they must be connected. Thankfully Kushina was ready to be attacked and this fucker isn’t capable of teleportation and phasing the way the masked man was. The kyuubi is still safely sealed in her, and if she could just get it to stop regrowing when either Minato or she kill it they’ll be golden.

Just when she’s worried it might wear them down before they can kill it backup arrives. Mikoto arrives flanked by a few of her clansman. Kushina couldn’t have a better best friend. The literal fire power of their kanton turns out to be just what they need. Either they successfully burn away the plant demon or they at least manage to scare it off. Kushina can’t say what happens immediately after because she just gave birth and then fought a demon, so she very reasonably fell asleep as soon as it was over.

Kakashi and Obito are late to Naruto’s second birthday. Obito’s been rubbing off on Kakashi ever since Kanabi Bridge, when they finally learned to get a long, and it’s not that surprising they’re both late. She’s still annoyed though. She will find both of those brats and drag them here.

It turns out she doesn’t have to look very long, because they’re together. They’re lying on Obito’s couch, while Kakashi is, from what Kushina can see, attempting to discover how far down Obito’s throat he can get his tongue. Fucking Sixteen year olds.

“Boys!” she screams as she climbs through the window. “Stop being horny and celebrate my son’s birth!” she adds, smacking them both over the head, “Ingrates.”

“Kushina-neechan,” Obito stutters out, rapidly turning bright red. “It’s not what it looks like,” he insists.

Kakashi just looks smug. “It is what it looks like, if it looks like I was about to get lucky,” he says, “until you interrupted.”

“Kakashi!” Obito shrieks and reflexively sucker punches him in the gut.

“You can get as lucky as you want after the party,” she says, “Get moving.” She stalks out the front door and Obito pops up from the couch to run after her, grabbing their gifts off the table as he goes. Kakashi follows after them once he regains his breath.

Obito and Kakashi are both late to their commitments the next morning, but Kakashi is big spoon and really doesn’t want to move. Obito is still happily snoring and while they’ve slept in the same bed or on the same futon before it was never like this. Never in this context. He wants to stay a while and just watch Obito’s untroubled sleeping face. The last few years have gone unexpectedly well and strangely he for some reason feels like he owes Kushina. Maybe he should take her with them to get ramen later.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

I’m Park Jimin, I’m Human Too (Jimin x You ONESHOT)

A/N: I have written something similar along the lines of fans hating the girl, if you are familiar with my other story, As Long As You Love Me (Park Jimin) :)

And Im sorry if I made this story weird. hope you like it!I

MASTERLIST

And yeah, happy birthday Park Mochi!

"Hey C-Chim..."

"Yeah baby? Whats wrong?" Jimin looks up from his phone and straighten himself up from the couch, lovingly looking at the love of his life. There are no words to describe how in love Jimin is with her. She is everything Jimin could ever want, could ever wish for. She is perfect for him in every way.

"Uh.. do you remember a few weeks back.. when you just got back from tour..." Y/N asked nervously.

"Yeah?"

"A-And what we did the moment we get back from the airport?"

"Absolutely," Jimin winks. "I think that is one of the best yet baby. But what about it? You want a repeat of that?" He smirks.

"Uh..." Y/N blushes. "Remember how we cant control it anymore and we still continue even though we ran out of condoms?"

"O...kay?" Jimin finally get a feeling of where this conversation is going.

"Jimin... I'm uh," she finally showed him the stick that shes been hiding behind her back. "I'm pregnant,"

Jimin took the pregnancy test with shaky hands. True enough, two blue lines, indicating that its positive, that his girl is carrying his baby right now. That theres a mini Jimin in the making.

"A-And before you ask, thats like the 15th test I took... and its all positive. Jimin, I'm sorry!" Y/N's voice shakes, tears are already pooling at the corner of her eyes at his quiet respond. She knew he is not going to take this news easy. There is no way Jimin is gling to be happy about it. An idol with a pregnant girlfriend? Their relationship is not even public! Jimin looks up from the pregnancy test that he is holding and looks at her, confused with her reaction. Upon realizing that Y/N is crying, he quickly steps forward and reached out for her hands.

"Baby? Why are you crying? What are you saying sorry for?" Jimin is freaking out. Whats wrong? Is she hurt? Is the baby already hurting her?

"I'm-I'm pregnant Chim! I have ruined your life!" She wailed out. "How can you ask me whats wrong? Everything is wrong!"

"What?!" Jimin burst into laughter. Y/N immediately stops crying, looking at her boyfriend who is laughing so hard his eyes turnes to slits, with big wide confused eyes. "Baby, why would you being pregnant ruined my life?"

"Y-You are an idol! You are barely home! You dont have time for a baby! You cant even date! People dont even know we are dating!" She listed out all the reasons why Jimin should be running out the door right now, but Jimin just holds her hand tight and smiles at her.

"If thats the case, maybe we can finally let our relationship be public now?" Jimin grins at her. "Its not like I'm under a dating ban. I'm just keeping it public to keep you safe,"

"W-What?"

"Lets make our relationship public baby. I want to introduce my beautiful girlfriend, the love of my life and my future baby that she is carrying to the world," his smile turned wider.

"C-Chim... why arent you angry? Or mad? Or breaking up with me?"

"Huh?" He tilted his head, confused. "Why would I? Baby..." he lifted her chin so she would look at him in the eye. "I love you. I love you very very much. Having you as my girlfriend is a miracle enough, but having a baby with you? A little person who is half me and half you? Baby, that is just amazing! Marvelous! I-I dont know how to describe it but no one can ever be happier than what I'm feeling right now. So no, I wont get mad, angry and definitely not breaking up with you,"

"R-Really?"

"Absolutely," Jimin grins and leans in to kiss her. "I love you so much Y/N, but sorry, you are going to share my love with this little mochi now," he stroke her tummy, although theres no visible sign of a bump yet. "I'm going to be the best father to my mochi baby, and the best boyfriend, maybe future husband?" He winks, "to you. That's promise,"

/////

"You are really sure Jimin? You really want to do this?" Seven pair of eyes looks, no, stares at him. His beloved members and the PD of course. His relationship with Y/N, although it has been years since they were together, were safely kept from the public. Sometimes he himself wonder how they managed to do it, but everyday he thanks the stars to have a girlfriend that is so understanding. He can never take her out on proper dates and she has to share him with his extremely busy schedule. He only gets to see her a few times a month when they are not on a break and Jimin really wonders why Y/N still wants to be with him. Someone so perfect, wanting him. And now shes carrying his child, and Jimin has never been so sure that he wants the world to know. Its time for him to treat Y/N the way she deserve to be treated. And he is sure his fans would understand. He is human too afterall, he falls in love too, and they should be happy that he found someone if they really love him.

"Yeah. I think I'm ready," he smiles. "And I think the fans would be alright with it when they see how happy I am with Y/N. I'm going to be a father guys!" He jumps excitedly. The younger boys went and hugs him, jumping along in excitement.

"Jimin, I dont mean to burst your bubbles, but once you do this, there is no turning nack. Are you really sure?" Namjoon turns him around and asks, his brows furrowing in worry.

"Yeah hyung. Y/N is the one for me. I'm already thinking about proposing to her... so yes. I want to do this. I know and and I'm sure our ARMYs will be supportive," Jimin smile and patted the leader's back. "Dont worry about us hyung. We will be okay. All of us will,"

"Well then Chim," Namjoon smile. "If thats the case, then I am very happy for you and Y/N," Namjoon went over and hug the younger man.

"And we will do the preparation for the official announcement. Whatever happens, we hope you and Y/N will be able to get through it. Congratulations Jimin," the PD smile and went out from the meeting room. The BTS dorm was filled with celebration that night. A congratulatory celebration for Jimin who had found his true love and finally have a little Bangtan in the making.

/////

It hasnt even been an hour after the official news is released that BTS' Park Jimin has a girlfriend and is expecting a baby with her, with a high possibility of a marriage on the way and the news has made it into all the headlines. Although many are happy about the news, congratulating him and complimenting on how beautiful Y/N is and how they are made for each other, there are more who hated the news and immediately despise Y/N for stealing Jimin from them.

It hasnt even been an hour, but the hate comments on Y/N has hits millions. Worse, she actually accidentally read them.

"Jimin wake up right now!" Hoseok shakes his shoulder,waking him up from his deep slumber.

"Hmm yeah what is it hyung? We dont have a schedule today. Cant you let me sleep? Please?" Jimin rubbed his eyes sleepily, yawning.

"I think you need to go to Y/N. Right now Chim," Hoseok urges him, still shaking him so he wakes up.

At the mention of Y/N's name, Jimin's eyes immediately popped open wide.

"Why? Whats wrong? Did something happened to her?" He panics and reached out for his phone, which has no notification from her. "She didnt call or text me though?"

"This Chim. This happen. And I dont think Y/N is okay right now," Hoseok placed his phone in front of the sleepy Jimin to show all the hate comments coming in non stop.

How did she even get Jimin? Shes a troll!

Break up right now! Jimin dont like you!

What did you do to take our Jimin? You must have blackmailed him!

Thast not Jimin's baby! Shes a slut!

Theres no way our Jimin makes you pregnant. Slut slut!

This Y/N is obviously a whore!

"What?!" Jimin was mortified. How could his fans be so crude? So evil? How could they even thought about all these words to describe his girl? The love of his life. And those are just a few. There are thousands more meaner comment from wbere that come from.

"D-Did Y/N read this?" He looks up with shaky eyes to Hoseok.

"We dont know Chim but even if she didnt I think its best that you go to her now," Hoseok looks at him with worried eyes, his brows furrowed. "She needs you there with her, wheter she has read it or not,"

Jimin has never run out from the dorm as fast as he did that day, panting as he burst open the door to Y/N's apartment, only to find her sitting on the couch, face drenched with tears, hands holding her phone tightly, looking back at him with wide, scared eyes. Never has his heart hurt as much as it did that day, seeing the love of his life in pain and hurting, all because of something that is important to him.

"Y/N, baby," he rushed to her at once, engulfing her in a tight hug, stroking her hair as her tears wet the front part of his shirt. "I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry baby. None of what they said is true. Dont you ever believe it. None of it baby,"

Y/N grasp the front of his shirt tightly, not saying anything, just letting her tears falling rapidly down her face. After a while of just crying and sobbing her heart out, letting out every sadness shes feeling, the most  heart breaking sound Jimin has ever heard, Y/N finally composed herself and find the courage to look at Jimin in the eyes.

"I-I'm sorry Chim," she sobbed. Jimin tuck a piece of her hair, now wet with her tears, behind her ear.

"Baby you dont need to be sorry. What are you even apologizing for? Its all my fault. All me baby. I'm sorry you have to read and see all those things. You dont deserve any of it my princess," Jimin cups her face and looks at her in the eye, giving butterfly kisses all over her face. "You know right baby? You know right? You know I love you. I really really love you no matter what they said. And I know this is my baby and nothing is going to change that," he rubbed her tummy softly.

"I-I know," Y/N lowered her gaze, avoiding his eyes, tears are starting to wet the corner of her eyes again. "B-But how could they Jimin? I dont care about what they say, I-I expeceted it, b-but this is too much,"

Jimin is puzzled. What is Y/N talking about?

"What is too much baby? What is it? Tell me baby?" Jimin coaxed, his hands still stroking her hair softly. With shaky hands, Y/N pulled out her phone and showed her one of the hate comments. But to Jimin's surprise, its not just a comment, but with it is attached a photo, which has been saved, copied and repost a thousand times over and now is floating all over the internet. How did he even missed it?

"Baby..." Jimin eyes flickered back to her face.

"Its too much Jimin," she sobbed and hugs him harder. Jimin clenched his fist, eyes closed, as he hugs her back tightly, no longer wanting to see that vile photo. A photo, obviously edited and photoshopped to show Y/N's face on another naked body doing sexual things with a man that is not him. The photo is even captioned with 'Save Jimin, She's a Slut'.

How could they do it to this extend?

Jimin always thought his fans are the best fan in the world. The most loving, caring and understanding fans anyone could ever asks for. Apparently not. They thinks he is a piece of object that they own. Not a human being with feelings on his own. With the right to fall in love and be happy with the girl of his dream. This is too much and Jimin would not just stand around doing nothing. Not when it hurts the most important person in the world to him.

"I swear baby, I'll take care of it. I promise. I promise," he whispered to her, wiping the tears off her face. "I love you Y/N. Whatever happens, we will get through this. I will make sure you will be okay. We will be okay. We and our little baby will be okay, I love you,"

Jimin spends the rest of the day holding her close in his arms, whispering words of forgiveness and love, his hands clench tight, mind spinning thinking of a way to destroy everyone who even dare to ruin their precious little family.

/////

"We already warn you about this Jimin," the PD sigh. "And you still wants to go through with it!"

"I know! But what do you expect me to do? To stay single for my fans forever? Y/N is pregnant with my kid.  We are going to be a family Sir," he sighed, slumping himself down on the chair. "I know this is a risk we need to take, and Y/N and I understand that. But cant we at least take it down? We are not asking you to sue them or anything!"

"We will try our best Jimin. We will take down all those photos as fast as we could," Jimin sighed in relieved. "But we cant stop the hate comments Jimin. If you and Y/N wants to continue this, you better brace yourself. Thats the best advice I can give you," the PD gave him a small smile and patted his back before walking out. Leaving Jimin alone with his thoughts.

As time passes by and all the photos has been successfully taken down, the heat of the news have died down a little. Jimin thought a happy ending might come their way soon as the fans starts to forget. Sure, hate comments and cries of pleading for Jimin to leave Y/N constantly flooded their social media pages, but both Jimin and Y/N has learnt how to ignore it and go about their everyday lives.

Two weeks passes by with nothing more than hate comments, their baby is growing stronger by the day and Jimin and Y/N starts to feel happy again. And that is when everything starts to turn to shit. Someway, somehow, some of the fans managed to get the address of Y/N's apartment, her school and the part time coffee shop she works in. Jimin immediately asks her to stop working after a few girls, who are obviously fans of Jimin as they keep threatening her to break up with him starts stalking her and followed her around all day. But theres not much he can do about her classes and her home. Luckily no one ever followed her home or do anything towards her house and her university care about their student enough to offer enough security and protection as long as Y/N is in school grounds. Out of worry, Jimin made sure one of his managers always picks and sends Y/N home from her classes everyday. Gone were the days where she can freely go out with her friends or go grocery shopping alone. Jimin wouldnt let her and even Y/N knows better than to do it, especially with his fans who always seems to be lurking around somewhere in the corner.

Although Y/N stays locked in the safety of her own home, the obsessive fans managed to penetrate through to intimidate her. At first there are only letters, filled with threatening words sent to her daily. Y/N has soon learn to just ignore it and ripped it off the moment she received them everyday. But soon, more things starts to come her way.

"Delivery for Miss Y/N?" Y/N peeks her head out the door to see the delivery man smiling at her. After signing her name and curiously take the package, Y/N shakes the box. Its square and light, it doesnt make a sound and its wrapped nicely with a big pink bow. Did Jimin send her a surprise?

Excited, she sat down on her couch and starts to unwrapped the box, only to be screaming, immediately dropping the box from her hands once the content is revealed. Y/N's whole body shakes as tears starts to run down her face. Inside the nicely wrapped box lay a single red rose. A dead one. And not just dead, but is swarming with maggots and worms all over its petals. A small card was slipped in between, written on it was a message;

"We are are not kidding. Leave Park Jimin alone if you dont want to rot like the flower,"

With shaky hands, Y/N immediately picked up the box and threw it deep inside the trashcan, not planning to tell Jimin about it. She knows him too well. Jimin will explode and she would never let Jimin risk his career just for her. No. Never.

Trying to forget the rose incident is hard. But its even harder to avoid Jimin and keeping it a secret from him.

"Baby, you okay?" Jimin entered the apartment, looking at her in the eye.

"Yeah Chim. Why do you ask?" Y/N looks up from her magazune and eye her boyfriend who just came from a recording session.

"Well... maybe its because you seem to be avoiding me for a week now?" He stated rather to the point, irritated that Y/N seems to avoid him.

"N-No. You have just been busy. I'm not avoiding you," she gave him a small smile and turned away, knowing Jimin will see straight through her. Jimin did, and pulled her hand so she faces him.

"So you are saying avoiding my calls, not replying my texts and pretending to already be asleep whenever I came over after practice is not avoiding me?" Jimin glares at her. "Tell me whats wrong baby? Did someone bothers you again? Or did I do anything wrong?"

"N-No Chim. I'm just uh tired. The baby is making me tired these days," Y/N tried to create the perfect lie. At the mention of the baby, Jimin's face immediately turned into a huge grin.

"Right. I forgot pregnant woman feels like that. Baby, if you and baby mochi ever need anything, you need to tell me okay?" Jimin held her hands tight. "Anything at all. Tell me and I'll get it for you,"

"Y-Yeah Chim. Of course," she nodded hastily and smile. Wanting nothing more than to change the topic.

"Oh, this came for you downstairs," Jimin passed her a small box. Y/N felt all the blood drained from her face again. Could it be? Could it be that they sent her another disgusting thing? She is very sure she didnt order anything and Jimin obviously didnt buy her anything too.

"O-Oh.. just leave it on the counter. I'll open it later,"

"Why? You are always excited when you received a package. Come on baby, open it. I want to see what my  beautiful girlfriend just bought," Jimin insisted and passed her the box. Y/N refused a few times but Jimin still insisted and she knows he will soon get curious, and she really disnr have an answer when he starts to question. So, praying hard that it isnt something similar to the other box she has received, she takes a deep breath and pulls open the big blue ribbon.

Again, the moment the lid popped open Y/N screamed her heart out, immediately dropping the box and turn around to bury her face into Jimin's chest, crying with all her might, because inside the beautifully wrapped box lay a dead bird, its head dislocated as if somebody has twisted it and a pen stuck on its stomach, blood still fresh and oozing out from the corpse.

"What the?!" Jimin pushed the box with his leg and thats when he saw the note.

"It seems you ignored the rose. Do you think we are kidding? Leave Park Jimin or you will face the same fate as the bird"

"Baby? What does it means you ignored the rose? What rose are they talking about baby? Are you hiding something from me?!" Y/N only looks at him with wide, scared eyes, still extremely shocked from the dead bleeding bird. "Baby, you have to tell me now!" Jimin shakes her shoulders.

"T-they sent me a rose swarming with live worms and maggots last week, threatenkng me to l-leave you..."she sobbed.

"What?!" Jimin was in shocked. He never thought his fans would act this way. Are they even his fans to begin with? "Why didnt you tell me?!"

"I-I dont want you to worry Chim..."

"What?!" Jimin was furious. What is she thinking hiding something like this from him? Just because she doesnt him to worry? Thats her excuse?

"Worry? I'm more than just worried right now Y/N! I'm furious! God damn it, how could they even think to do something like this? And how cluld you even think to hide it from me?! Thats it. You are staying with me at the dorm until we sort this out," Jimin made a decision on the spot, fuming with anger.

"What? No! How can I stay at the dorm. I-I would be a burden to the boys a-and your company and-"

"No fucking buts Y/N! The boys are my brothers. They will understand and they will also protect you. I dont want to hear it. You and our baby is my priority right now. Now pack your things and come with me!" Jimin growls and Y/N knows better than to disobey. Jimin might be small and sweet, sensitive and caring but he is really scary when he is furious and Y/N is not one to challenge him once he is in that state. Without another word, Y/N packed her clothes and neccessities and followed Jimin out, making a new home in the boys' dorm.

/////

"I'm quitting Bangtan!"

"No! You cant do that!" Y/N stood up from her chair so fast, she almost lost balanced. Luckily Taehyung was beside her to hold her stable. Jimin turns and glares at her.

"Really baby? After everything? You of all people should be the one who supports this decision!" He scoffed angrily, still bitter from the fact that she hides things from him.

"No Jimin!" Y/N walks over and held his arm. "You cant do that. Bangtan is important to you. You love being a part of them. They are your brothers and you get to do what you love doing on stage! I wont be the reason that make you leave all that!"

"Too bad baby, its not just up to you now. We have a baby to think about!" Jimin growled.

"Jimin, calm down," Taehyung chimed in, sensing the tension between the couple. "Maybe Y/N is right. Even if you quit, do you think they will stop harrasing her? The fans would be even angrier at Y/N, thinking shes the reason you quit,"

"But Tae!"

"Tae is right Chim. Quitting is not the answer. Calm down okay? At least Y/N is safe now with us. And we have reported the case to the police. We need to think carefully on how to handle this, not make rush decision," Namjoon second Taehyung's opinion, making Jimin sighed in frustration. Still, he knows his brothers' words makes sense. Quitting wont solve anything. What matters now is keeping Y/N safe.

"We will get through this Chim. We will do it together. Dont worry okay? We will make sure Y/N and the baby is safe and we will find a way to stop this. We will," Yoongi patted his back and offered him a small smile.

"I hope so hyung. I hope so,"

/////

"Jimin?" Y/N's voice is small as she calls out his name when they are finally alone in his room. Hoseok, being the nice person that he is decided to let Y/N and Jimin stayed in their room and moved in with Namjoon and Taehyung. He figured they need space and privacy, at least until this whole case is over.

"Yeah baby?" Jimin answered weakly.

"I know you are mad at me. At your brothers. For not supporting and agreeing your decision to quit," Y/N started off. "But... you know they are right... nothing good will come from you quitting," Y/N walks over and face him, looking into his eyes. "Jimin, I love you. And I love our baby. And I just know that we will be happy again some day. Some day, all this will pass. But leaving Bangtan, leaving your career, leaving the thing you love the most in the world... thats a too high price to pay for me Chim. Its something you shouldnt even have to do. Because I will still be here, with you, no matter what happens. We can do this okay?" She gave him a small smile. "Just I begged you, just hold on a little longer and everything will be just fine. I promise baby. I love you Park Jimin,"

Jimin looks at her with heart and eyes thats full of love. How in the world did he get so lucky to have found someone like Y/N in his life? So sweet, loving and understanding? And now shes carrying his baby, and is hurting, all because of him. She can easily choose to leave but she didnt. She stayed. She is the rock Jimin needs in his life and he knows now that as long as at the end of the day Y/N is here with him, everything will be okay.

"I love you Y/N, and I promise. I promise I will make it alright again," he leans his forehead with hers and hold her close before capturing her lips with his, hoping she could feel all the love he has for her.

/////

Jimin looks out at the cheering crowd from the stage. Thousands filled up the arena, as it always does everytime they held a concert. He is always proud of ARMYs. They are the best fan anyone could ever have, but after recent events... he cant believe these sweet people could ever do that to him, to Y/N. Namjoon gave out his last speech as usual after their last song. Saying his appreciation and thanks, but before they can say goodbye, Jimin cuts in.

"Hyung wait. I have something to say," the crowd went wild at Jimin's interruption while the boys all looks at him worriedly, hoping he wont cause a scene. "Hey guys, ARMYs," he greeted with a smile and the crowd cheers with their hellos.

"I'm Park Jimin and I'm human too," an awkward silent fell inside the arena, nobody knows how to react to Jimin's sudden statement. "Thats right. I'm a human. Just like you. Like all of you. I wake up every day, I eat my breakfast, I get ready and I do my work. Just like all of you who has your own job to go to, I have mine too. I love my job, I love coming out with new dance moves, and practice them, singing and recording them and most of all, performing them in front of all of you. Sharing what we have woth you... and I really hope I can do that for a long time," he paused and looks at the confused faces of the crowd. "I'm pretty sure many of you, just like me, like your own job too. So... I just want to ask you, to take a moment and put yourself in my shoe, our shoes and think. It is fair that we are only seen for our jobs, as an entertainer and nothing more? Not to be seen as a normal human being? Are we not given the rights to live, to love like we want to? If all of you have jobs you love, a job of your own choosing, and is allowed to fall in love with whoever you want to, get married, have children and live happily ever after,why cant we? Why does our lives has to be different? To be dictate by others just because of our different jobs? Dont get me wrong, I love performing. And I get how all of you care about us. I appreciate that and I love all of you for it. But I'm happy. I'm happy with Y/N. The girl you guys hated for no reason. Y/N, she has been my girlfriend for so many years by the way, kept hidden because people like me are not supposed to date, makes me happy. And now shes carrying my baby, and it makes me the happiest man alive right now. Can you imagine it? Having a family with the one you love? All of you are humans too, some of you who are lucky might have already experienced it, some is currently experiencing it and some will experience it. But right now, its my turn. I am lucky enough to be given a chance to feel what its like, and you wont let me? Why? Just because I'm an idol? I want to share that feeling with all of you, Y/N wants to share it with all of you. Can I? Will all of you let me? I know its hard to understand, but I beg you," Jimin falls down on his knees on stage and the other six boys slowly followed one by one, kneeling behind him in a line, "put yourself in our shoes and feel how painful it is to not be given the right to fall in love. Idols are humans too. We are human too. And I'm Park Jimin is a human too," Jimin ended his speech with a soft sniffle and the once quiet arena roared in applause, agreeing to what he said. Jimin didnt say anything else and immediately went back stage, feeling as exhausted as ever. He had said what he wanted to say and there is nothing else left to do. The boys came in one by one and they hug each other, forming a huge bear hug, not saying anything, letting their tears do the talking, all seven understanding exactly what each other is feeling.

/////

Jimin who was sleeping soundly as he hugs Y/N tight was awaken with a shake from Namjoon. He opens his eyes to see all six boys and even the PD looking at him with a smile.

"Whats going on?" He rubbed his eyes sleepily, the noise stirring Y/N awake who is also surprised with the crowded guests in their room.

"You did it Jimin," Taehyung yelled and jump on the bed, hugging him tight.

"Huh? I did what?"

"This!" Namjoon pushed an iPad in front of his face and Y/N peeks her hesd and read it together with him. Apparenrly his speech last night has stirred quite a commotion between fans. Not just their fans, but all fandom all around the world. Fans are agreeing to what he said and is now eliminating the common norm of not letting idols and celebrities dates and live their life. They no longer setting up a standard for them to follow.

"C-Chim... y-you did it. You changed the whole concept of idol worshipping!" Y/N squeals. "Not just for us, but for all celebrities everywhere. Oh my god, I'm so proud of you!"

"Yeah he did!" Hoseok agreed. "They even create a hashtag about this. Its #IdolsAreHumanToo and #ParkJiminIsHumanToo," he laughs loudly. "You are a hastag now!"

"Seriously?"

"Yup. It has become a campaign Chim. Fans all over the world are helping to eliminate any hate comments or anything like it. They will report and help to bring down any negativity regarding a celebrity life and choices. You really did it Jimin!" Namjoon proudly announced.

"I-I didnt mean for it to be that way. I'm just trying to make them understand. For Y/N. And for my baby," Jimin is still shocked.

"Well, you and Y/N are free now Chim. And your baby will be born into a hate free world where he or she can enjoy his father's performances soon without any worry," Hoseok laughs. "Congratulations Chim. Now all of us can find a girlfriend!" His statement makes the others laugh too as they went out from the room, leaving the two with some privacy.

Y/N looks at Jimin with a big smile.

"You did it baby," she whispered. "You fought for us. For our baby. And you won. I'm so proud of you,"

"And I will keep on fighting for us if I need to baby. I promise you that," he smiles at her, carressing her face. "I am Park Jimin, and I am a human who is in love with this beautiful girl and would do anything to ensure her safety and happiness,"

"And I'm L/N Y/N, and I am deeply, truly, fully in love with that Park Jimin,"

Jimin laughs and cups her face, slowly bringing her closer before he sealed it with a kiss.

A/N: Lets treat our idol as what they are okay? A human being. Its okay to swoon over them and appreciate their talents and looks, but remember they have the right to live like a normal human too. So I hope no one in here wluld sent a dead bird to any of the boys' significance other once they reveal that they have one okay? Hahaha

[realsmileyclown]

Will Clowns Ever be viewed Favorably again?

I should start off by saying this is only regarding how clowns are viewed by the public in the United States as in other countries the art may/is viewed differently. I have experience where I live so that will be the focus here. Now I know there are lots of people who like clowns but anyone here can tell you those people are the minority and vocal minority as well. Thats not to say the majority dislike clowns but the vocal majority definitly does. Id rather say the actual majority kind of avoids clowns and only if it gets brought up usually just say they dont really like them. This wasn’t always the case though as back when circuses were very popular and a part of american entertainment, nearly on par with sports like baseball, clowns had to be at least in the positive view of the people. This is because clowns have always been the mascot of these circuses from the height of popularity until the recent closing of ringling. We can see both old and modern examples or clowns always being used in PR stunts or on advertisements.

Here we see and old style poster advertising the circus and we see Julia who has ben in many pictures promoting Ringling Brothers. We see that both use clowns. These are important details because if people viewed clowns how they do now back then we wouldn’t expect to see much interest in the circus with those types of promotions. Clearly the circus kept trying to use clowns for PR even after the clowns decline but that clearly didnt work anymore as circus attendance lowered and other reasons led to closings.

There are lots of reasons why clown popularity decreased and i dont want to make this post about that but in short basically media depictions of clowns started to use them as horror symbols to play off the fact that a few people actually had phobias of them.

The point here though is do I think clowns will ever be back to their status of public favor when the circuses were in their prime as well as how could they get there.

First off I do think they have a chance to get back to their old level. I think this because I dont think there is really that much standing in their way. The main difference I see is that back then clowns were part of the circus package and people thought their job was to look weird and act silly to make people laugh. People didnt necessarily like clowns but didnt dislike them. Probably if you asked someone at the circus if they liked them they’d just say yeah are funny but thats it. Now people think they are people whose job is to look strange and act stupid to try and get people to laugh. The difference may seem small but essentially im claiming that the experiences that caused clowns to be viewed unfavorably shifted the people’s perspective to go from thinking clowns had a weird look which made them look funny to instead a strange bizarre look which makes them look off putting or creepy. The same is true for their actions. We know that this is a subtle difference but explains the shift from a slight positive to a slightly more negative view. We also know that this is only a shift in how they view clowns and not the clowns faults due to the fact that clowns havent changed those two things about themselves. If anything on average their makeup got less weird. See the pictures below with an old clown and a new clown and try to tell me the new one looks more creepy than the old one.

Clearly it had everything to do with public perception and not to do with them. Now public views constantly change so i see no reason they cant change back to how they were but it will take the work of lots of clowns to make it happen. This time clowns will also have to work harder as they no longer have ringling brothers to help keep them working and in the public eye.

One of my first suggestions is to stop worrying and complaining about scary media depictions worsening the image and instead focus on ways to improve the image of clowns. Everytime people who like those movies hear clowns complain about movies like “It” they just think worse about clowns and wonder why they cant just let them enjoy their movie. Clowns should take hollywood using their image as a compliment and find a way to make it positive. Clowns should do what they do best and laugh when they see those movies because it really is funny that someone thought they’d take a clown, which is funny and makes people laugh in real life, and make a movie where they are scary instead. Its quite a funny contrast to be scared of something that is funny. Having a positive attitude like this instantly changes its dynamic and now whenever a thing like this comes out clowns can claim it as part of their culture so all the people looking into it are reminded that real clowns are the opposite instead of sore losers who cant have any fun. Clowns have to take jokes not just dish them out. For one i love the joker and harley quinn. I dont think they are bad for clowning as i appreciate seeing clowns become such iconic comic and movie characters.

Now im not saying just let the media get filled with scary clowns. We need to let them have their fun and make fools out of us cause clowns are fools. But we need to make sure for every 1 scary clown picture there are 10 nice ones to counter it. Currently the internet  probably has got as much creepy clowns as it has real clowns. Even just typing clown gets mostly scary results it seems. We need people to see a higher ratio of good clowns to bad ones. This is why I like sharing pictures and why i like taking more of me to help contribute to these numbers. I am waiting to get a nice set up ready for the next time I’m in full makeup so I can do a photoshoot and get tons of pictures to spread of myself to help but for now heres another of me.

Thats only the easy fixes we can make but even with those fixes I feel a significant improvement could be accomplished. The real task now is to get people watching clown performances and laughing. If they enjoy watching clowns then they enjoy clowns. Without the circus we need a new avenue for this as I personally dont think Birthday parties are reliable and parades dont allow for real performances. I dont know who or how this part will be improved but I can almost garentee it will be on the internet. Over the last 2 decades we saw the internet grow from almost nothing into the powerhouse of entertainment. Things like netflix have almost replaced cable. Youtube created whole new careers for film with categories never possible on tv or in theatres. As far as I have seen no clown has truly utilized the internet yet. Most either just make a post on their regular socials of them in makeup, others use it to promote their in person business for parties, or others sell their costumes to other clowns. These are great but what we need is someone to figure out how to revolutionize clowning online as so many other markets did. Using the internet to boost offline business is great but true progress is when the business is online as well.

I wish I knew what it will be that revolutionizes clowning online so I could share it with you. Mainly I wish I knew what it will be so I could do it, ha ha! Until that day comes however we can keep spreading positivity, nice images and trying new things online.

Keep on smiling and keep on clowning!

[forwardiscalling]

Favorite production of Bare + why? And what is one thing that people do or don't do during productions that you hate? (Personally I hate it when productions make Jason seem super violent and like shoving and yelling at Peter all the time. They're eager to show that side of him but shy away from the soft tender side). And what's one thing that productions do that you love/wish they would include more?

listen my thoughts are organized -2% of the time so if u wanna read this mess go for it but I’ve only seen the LA version, the 2004 version, and the musical and i recently listened to the 1999 demo so i decided to include that too also i may or may not have finished these??? idk i get sad over bare hella easy so i have to plan when i watch these because they screw me up for a solid couple days after 

LA 2013-literally everyone has seen this one but i love peter and jasons chemistry in this one?? also i just love the jason/nadia relationship in this one bc it is clear that nadia cares about him so much. essentially i love jason in this?? i also like father in this one because of the way he holds himself. it is clear that he is rigid to his faith and he fully believes every word of the bible. pilgrams hands in this is the best?? i love the way peter confidently is able to do that!!

2004- i love how the depict peter in this one. they show peter as this kid who wants to come out, but is unsure how the reaction will be? (i can’t articulate this as well as someone else could,, it was a post comparing la peter and micheal ardan as peter I’m so sorry i can’t remember who’s) but i ABSOLUTLY love all the confessional songs in this. cross and absolution??? HEARTBREAKING confession??? BEAUTIFUL and my final thought about this one is birthday bitch, low-key love the new lines even if it is way worse

1999 demo-EPIPHANY IS SUCH A FUCKING BOP LIKE PLEASE LISTEN TO IT LIKE I SHOULD NOT BEING BOPPING THIS HARD BUT I AM. i dont love some of the more unfamiliar songs but see me? even more heartbreaking because claire tries to avoid the topic more. in warning its so sad because claire like blames herself?(problematic ik) I’m not sure how to describe it but like she truly believes that this is not best for her child and she blames herself for this. i do like the storyline that claire isn’t THAT homophobic better but that���s just me.  the are you there? is a little confusing because it is technically called cut from the same cloth and it is just matt i believe. but the stupid second thoughts??? BEAUTIFUL i love this so so so much because the last line is “so goodnight my love, yes you heard me right you were my love but ill have to let those words fall on your sleeping ears so i won’t see your honestly” and i UGLY SOBBED at that and he says “i should be the hero you want me to be” AND AHHHHH also bare???? UGLY SOBBING but real talk idk what’s going on??? like where they planning to come out??? “one stolen kiss and everyone will know” or is that referring to best kept secret??? “i really never thought it would end like this” AHHHHHHHHHHHHH also jason’s love confession followed by peter saying :i never thought you’d say it”??? BREAKING MY HEART no voice, i don’t love when they overlapped peter+matt’s parts but it is interesting how they go together. also the new verse with the whole bridge theme? AHHH SO GOOD  but if anyone is down to explain the plot of this demo to me i would be so down bc a sis is low-key confused

musical- yes i know i know its terrible but i do like some of  the new musical elements to it? for example, best friend? great,, pls don’t attack me for this but i like the are you and i and portrait of a girl? and i do like jason’s version of role of a lifetime and this point i will defend with my life. also peter is so adorable in this you cant change my mind on that one. in are you there “stupid stolen moments, this can’t all there is” IS SO AHHHHH also they changed the “one day he’ll wake up” to “one day SHE’LL” and damn. my absolute FAVORITE PART of this whole mess is in the middle of you and i when peter says that he has a bigger dick than jason i screamed the first time i saw it its fine lol also i didnt fully finish this whoopsie

things i hate/like about productions- i love it when peter+jason have these little moments in big groups (ex: in LA production in wonderland when jason offers clothes to matt and peter makes that little dont you dare!! thing) also lemme tell you, the you and i makes or breaks the production for me because i feel like if the you and i has no chemistry or pizzaz than that’s IT MAN game o v e r and also, i love it when they have confessionals on stage and when father is facing the audience and the children are facing him because this to me shows the disconnect between father and the kids. ok finally, i hear what you’re saying about jason being mean, but i actually kinda like it? but this is because i feel like it makes it more realistic? it shows what kind of emotional distress he was under and while that behavior is not okay in any sense, i feel like it would not have the same impact without it. and now the things i H A T E first one: nadia and jason not having a tight relationship/only moment is plain jane fatass. this relationship is SO important?? depict it well u cowards! also matt?? i dont love it when they DONT depict him as an uptight kinda guy. like this dude constantly has a stick up his ass and is NOT happy about it fam. we all know it 

ok thats all my thoughts and clearly i have a ton of them so ask me questions