#but its been almost 2 years of course he wouldnt be

[seeminglydark]

1. since john tries to stay away from tech as much as possible, i think it would be funny to see what would happen if he got his hands on like a secondhand e-reader or laptop and what it would look like if he tried to use it. it would also be cool to see if or what kind of stickers he would use to decorate it.

2. i know it’s kind of a difficult topic. but since i’ve been reading your comic, I think the “Creaky” storyline is one of my favorites. Being able to escape a difficult upbringing and being able to find solace and comfort in found family. I’ve imagined that with the help of his newfound friends, John would go back to his father’s house and take back some of his most prized possessions because I think John would be the type of person that would value things and attach those objects to memories of people. I think it would be fun to see how John adapted to a new environment and being able to live freely (full-time) and thrift for clothes and other things. I think it would be interesting to see his thoughts of when he entered his first apartment and see how he decorated it and see how it has evolved into the glimpses that we’ve seen.

hahaha while i understand what you're asking here, he would of course one hundred percent fumble it, the last thing he had was a flip phone from the early 2000's when he was in highschool, so of course he wouldnt be good with laptops or anything. as far as an e-reader goes, john is severely dyslexic (undiagnosed, so untreated) and reading is already a huge struggle, which is why he uses the walkman and listens to audio books. the truth is, were he to get his hands on these things, he simply wouldnt use them. but its fun to imagine him like my 80 year old dad doing the ol' point and shoot typing style with two fingers! Caro and Maddie show him things on their phone and on the internet all the time anyway, so hes not missing the good memes ha! Creaky is also my fave storyline, I'm so glad you're enjoying it! To answer your first question, no, he wouldn't actually go to his dads at any point, and even if he did, none of his stuff would still exist sadly. on a brighter note, he DOES get to retrieve some of his old things, either after hooking back up with Caro (who has his battle jacket, fuck belt and a few other things) and because his Highschool pals Georgie and Dee would totally have a ton of his stuff in the back of Dee's van, so he'd get his walkman, some clothes, his cross earrings that belonged to his mom, and a few other precious things, and you are right, he does connect objects to people. His biggest problem is not remembering much about what some of those connections were. Another factor here is the fact that there is a protection order between he and his ad put in place by Maddie's stepdad Dr Parker, John's dad isnt allowed within a certain amount of distance to John so, going to his house wouldnt be allowed. Even with his friends (in Seemingly Dark, the Fenris chapter) facing down with his father is almost impossible because of his fear and trauma. There will be more about that in the future! on the second note, im actually in process of turning Creaky into a stand-alone book! Which is why I haven't drawn anything here in reply to Johns reactions to new places, new friends and new environments, its all things I want to explore more in depth in the new version of my fave story line. <3 Heres links to some of the progress on the New Creaky! and here!

[aloekat]

giving pokemon teams to d20 characters!

The Bad Kids / Fantasy High!

pt 1/?

part 1 || part 2

hello chat and welcome to aloe shoves their hyperfixation onto everything they enjoy! making pokemon teams for fictional characters has always been a fun past time for me that i enjoy greatly so i wanted to apply that to dimension 20! i plan on doing every season once i’ve watched it, starting with all the intrepid hero seasons before moving on to side quest seasons

(also i finally decided to post these after @jadelion made posts sharing their team picks, so go check those posts out as there are some great choices! i also wouldnt be inspired to finally post these without him doing so first! i made my list completely independent of hers so if there's the same pokemon its purely coincidental lol)

first i want to talk about some guidelines i’ve given myself for this, which will apply to future posts as well:

only 4 pokemon per team - this keeps things more easy and makes them feel closer to mid-game trainers rather than fully stacked end-game ones. or feel like gym leaders maybe? it also helps with rule 2…

try to have no repeat pokemon - this just keeps things unique between seasons but sometimes a pokemon is a perfect fit for more than one person but for the most part everyone gets unqiue pokemon and there are almost no doubles

low to no legendaries on teams unless for a good reason - same goes for shinies but im more lenient on the shiny rule lol

i made a lot of these these like 3 months ago as of posting this - some choices may be outdated or the character has changed enough that a choice may not fit as well but i didnt want to change it lol (this is solely for the fantasy high kids tbh)

thats all for the rules! finally it’s time to get into the teams!

! SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE CURRENT SEASON! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !

Kristen

Lycanroc - representing Tracker, again i made these before junior year so trackerbees was still a thing but i imagine it can count for cassandra also since it’s a night themed pokemon. don't know which form of lycanroc she would have though Solrock - she was given solrock during her time with Helio, and while i know sunflora exists i think solrock makes a little more sense, since she was a chosen of Helio she would be at an elevated status and therefor have a better pokemon if that makes sense? it also pairs with... Lunatone - representing her change to Cassandra, a goddess of night. there's like cool symbolism with her pokemon now wow isn't that so cool and awesome!! Unown ("?") - a question mark unown to represent Yes? (and the other Yes forms) along with her cool question mark staff! can also ALSO symbolize doubt with cassandra

Fig

Toxitricity (Low Key) - low key form gives the vibes of a bass and Fig plays the bass! toxitricity would help fig practice her instrument and come up with music. also literally called “the punk pokemon”

Obstagoon - similar reasoning, obstagoon has The Vibes that fit along with also being a sort of rock n roll pokemon

Moltres - representing Ayda, i imagine Ayda gifted it to her once they became girlfriends :)

Mimikyu - a pokemon known for its imitation of another pokemon, very much fits into Fig’s actor feat and her high deception and her not wanting to be her real self sometimes

Fabian

Dhelmise - big connection to his father and being a pirate, his father probably gifted it to him as his first pokemon

Marowak (Alolan) - fun idea i had for this is he originally just had a cubone with him during freshman year, but once he went to Fallinel and learned about the power of dance it evolved into an alolan marowak! it's a fire dance pokemon of course he would have it lol

Sirfetch'd - representing his mother and also his general fencing/fighter style that he works with

Tentacruel - just a cool ass water pokemon i feel he would have, also vaguely pirate-y with big kraken vibes

Riz

Pikachu - detective pikachu go brrrrr i imagine he would have gotten a pichu when very young, and it's evolved over time! it would wear a tiny detective hat as well because um i said so

Inteleon - super spy/gun pokemon also go brrrr, very much a reference to his father and just the general super spy-ness of Riz and Pok in junior year especially

Togekiss - ok this one feels very out of place and i forgot why it was here originally BUT i think it's to represent like a guardian angel sort of? again another reference to Pok because i love Pok and think he's very cool

Voltorb - he's the ball. this is a pokeball pokemon. are we starting to connect the dots

Adaine

Politoad - representing Boggy of course, nothing much else to say

Espeon - a very psychic pokemon representing her oracle powers, it would be fun to think that she had an eevee that simply evolved into an espeon once Adaine realized that she in fact was the elven oracle!

Delphox - another powerful psychic pokemon, again this is just vibes and it's a cool pokemon and adaine is a very cool character lol

Audino - these pokemon are known for being able to hear super well and know how their trainers are feeling from listening to their heartbeat. a gift given by Jawbone to help with Adaine's anxiety but still a good member of her team regardless

Gorgug

Archen - "i'm Cloaca, i suck!"

Gogoat - a grassy pokemon which can sorta represent the tree he lives in but also intended to represent Zelda in some ways (again i wrote these before junior year came out). it would help him carry around a lot of scraps for tinkering

Rotom - found in the village near the Nightmare King's forest, this rotom had gotten lost in the forest and, with no tech from solace nearby, couldn't find a way home. gorgug rescued it and lets it inhabit the Hangvan a lot

Rillaboom - another grassy pokemon but this one is also a drummer! can we take a wild guess as to why i picked this one. for it's drumming ability. because. because gorgug is a drummer.

=====

whew ok that's the first season done! i'll probably do unsleeping city next, which will be linked to this post once it's done!

have a better option that would fit a PC better? please tell me i would love to hear everyone's takes on this!

ok that's it that's the post everyone go home now (once again go look at @jadelion for their pokemon team picks!)

[pixeljade]

Looks like Photomatt has now deleted several of his posts regarding this whole incident, and edited the original one with further context. The edits to the original are 1) admitting that the hammer part of the "threat" seems silly but that he's apparently "almost died by car accident twice" (which, even if its true, are we taking into account personal triggers for what qualifies as harassment? And if so, why is misgendering people not considered one of those triggers?) And 2) adding that apparently Avery/Rita had "over 20 different blogs" which have names "so sexual to list them here would require a mature tag". (Which, he is perfectly capable of doing, and also it should be noted, there's not really rules against mature content so long as its tagged. There's been no proof of any untagged content. And third here, this is a *sex worker* we are talking about of COURSE she's got horny blogs!)

The posts which were deleted were largely the post-blowup tantrum replies, nothing too major there but overall trying to sweep away the tantrum. One post of note which was deleted is the one where he said the oh you know what i screenshotted it so lemme just post it

This is the one i'm most concerned about. This is the one where he mentions *pulling out investment* as well as saying "oh gosh I suddenly have empathy for those dealing with harassment campaigns now that I'm the victim of one".

Why do I think he deleted this one? He's scared of legal action. See, Tumblr was previously sued for bigoted moderation during the post-porn-ban era, and part of the stipulations is that they must make efforts to fix that. Then, we got in his other major post about this the tidbit that they *outsourced their moderation* and that they *had a known transphobic moderator in that company* LITERALLY last year. And now THIS post says that there (probably) werent plans to fix moderation before his sabbatical began, and even adds on that only *now* does he have empathy for how tumblr's poor moderation tools have made harassment a nightmare. Combine with multiple trustworthy testimonies that queer staff previously pointed this out to him...it sounds like the threat of legal action over moderation problems just led him to utterly ignore that problem until *JUST NOW*.

Now I am no legal expert. I have no clue whether this was culpable enough to show that he didnt make reasonable effort to fix biased moderation. Its entirely possible that fhis only sounds culpable to my untrained eye, and that he actually used secret language which dodges that culpability. But considering there's actual threat of lawsuit again now, and he posted all of this?

Well. Yeah, I'd delete some shit too. Too bad its probably too late. Anyways if you do nuke the site Matt I hope this follows you til you die. Or you could actually man up, and ask your lawyers whats the cheapest way you can apologize for this fuckup. It wouldnt erase this problem, but I think all of us would stop mocking you relentlessly if you at least had the guts to do that.

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

ok episode 10 time. i ended up only putting together the head and body of the mk-ii earlier

starting off with sarius trying to bring up aerial again to the benerit group to try and get some punishment in but rajan is like lol nope.

given how we later see prospera and delling together at the end of this ep, i figure its a pretty good assumption that some time between grassley duel and now (its 2 months from what shaddiq says later), delling bring prospera on for quiet zero and he likely also help front aerial's repairs

also man vim is a fucking idiot lol. i totally forgot he says this to sarius. and then iirc all we get once we're in cour 2 is peil bringing up that jeturk suits were used at plant quetta which like yea lmao he can't be like oh btw i knew about it all beforehand

oh this little lovestruck tanuki

knowing endgame miorine, what are the chances that little lesbian was keeping count like this too

i'm glad suletta no longer sees relationships as transactional but lmao this little gay baby. just ecstatic to be of use to miorine and tend to the greenhouse while shes away

honestly cool as hell that they got this prototype all set in the last two months - likely mostly nika and belmeria's work. i have a dumb headcanon that gund-arm probably didn't really get to do much R&D in the 3 year time skip because of all the loose ends miorine's probably been dealing with from the benerit group, on top of taking care of suletta, taking care of her mother-in-law and then nika's in fucking jail lol. even then, since it's likely ojelo and nuno were the ones doing most of the work (maybe belmeria still helping?), it's still neat that they have prosthetics about to start testing rounds with petra. yeah i wrote all this just to say wow nika's so smart

this scene is so ridiculously heartwarming lol she's such a little dweeb

who knew these stupid things would become such an integral part of the story lol

also, i'm glad we didnt get the secret message inside cool-san thing everyone kept theorizing about after the break up. that just wouldnt have made any sense with what miorine was trying to do lol

gosh its so nice to be rewatching this and just KNOW somewhere within those 2 months suletta and miorine's relationship just became normalized to the earth house kids and we just see it over and over in this episode

like when has nika referred to suletta as hanamuko-san lol and she does so immediately after our tanuki is gushing about giving miorine the ugly ass keychain lol

oh yeah, shes thinking of her tanuki

in retrospect this was kind of insanely naive of miorine, wasnt it? shes lucky feng jun and guston weren't onboard with what the rest of the SAL was cooking up

lol at this "stick to your duels". my dude you literally fund proxy wars on earth. you have no moral ground to stand on

lol this episode really is so good at setting up for episode 11. just look at her happy little faces each and every single time she's felt useful

oh the fucking bracelet 😭

weird to think shaddiq's plan works out in the end and plot convenience keeps delling alive, but it pretty much ends up as his plan of trying to obtain majority shares

i hope they've just been teasing her for 2+ weeks miorine's been gone and possibly even before then

iconic tanuki shot

platonically, of course. as gal pals.

actually i think of note in this scene with elan and him planting doubt in suletta's brain is whether what he says is true or he's just making shit up as part of doubt sowing. but he's basically implying that miorine has been acting in such a way that everyone at school is talking about it and they can't believe how different she's being. and part of that is certainly true given what shaddiq's said numerous times over the last few episodes

lol this will always remain such an excellent take on the misunderstanding trope

oh yea and don't forget mom and dad

almost forgot there's a post-credits scene on this ep. i wonder what his original plan to break up the group was before the delling assassination plan fell in his lap

also imaging living in a world where BOBBU became a class traitor and actually learned from his experiences..... yea right lmfao

ok definitely not finishing the 1st cour because it's taken me forever to watch this one episode. gonna see how many episode i knock out over the weekend

[eurydices-carnation774]

Stars shine the brightest during a supernova

this is crossposted from ao3

warning there is one misspelling i only corrected on ao3 and not my notes so i dont remember where it is, ignore it

this fic is gonna be 10x better if youre listening to first love/late spring from mitski while reading it

also if you take this in a shipping way i will personally murder you

as much as we dont want to admit it, the most powerful moment for everything in the universe is when they are the most vulnerable. The most common example of this would be a supernova, a stars death. As dust clouds drift away from their original position, the former star gives off bright light, light so bright it would blind you the moment you looked at it.

humans are no exception of this fundamental law. we never see someone truely, until they finally let themselves be vulnerable and break down.

this especially was the case for one person, Yoshi Nanase. Everyone knew him as Nanashi, nevertheless, everyone had separate opinions of him. Some thought he was weird, some people loved him, may it be a little too much. Out of all the people he knew and had grown to care for, only 2 people knew him, or atleast, one of them believed she had known him.

Misane had known Nanashi for awhile, wether it was in the year 2230 or in the year 2222, she believed she had known him. She couldnt have been farther from the truth, until the day she had finally gotten Nanashi to break down and finally let himself be vulnerable around someone.

Almost everyone knew Nanashi wasn't alright mentally. From his comments about him hating himself, to the small comments hes made about how much he had been bullied. What most people didn't know though, is that even with his small comments on his mental health, very few people had seem him when he let himself be vulnerable.

The truth was, even with how much he loved everyone, not everyone had loved him. After he had dropped out of middle school due to bullying, he had learnt to hide his emotions from people, all so he wouldnt get hurt again. If he let himself be too vulnerable, he would just end up back where he started, being bullied to the point he was constantly coming home with bruises and other small injuries.

up until summer, the only person he had ever let himself be someone vulnerable around was his cousin, Mikado. Of course, Mikado already knew Nanashi was hiding his emotions, they were the same after all. Mikado couldnt say anything though, not like its easy to tell your younger self youre from the future.

But, that one summer, had changed everything for Nanashi. Who wouldve guessed finding a girl in your bed one day would change the entire course of fate. Misane was also pretty aware of Nanashis mental problems, but not as well as she believed she did. She had known him in the future, but the version who she was standing next to in the control room at the top of the 307 tower right now, was a completely different person.

"The control room is up a head"

They were in a comfortable silence up until this point, so the sudden words caught the white-haired boys attention. Why say something now?

"hm? Misane-chan?"

The shorter girl lowered her head ever so slightly, before turning to Nanashi "first let me apologize," She had started "I hid many things from you. Even if it caused you to hate me, even if it caused you to lose trust in me... I did it wholly out of the desire to help you, Nanashi."

Obviously considering how much Nanashi had loved misane, albeit platonically, he didn't get the comment. He couldnt hate her even if he wanted to. What he also didnt get, is why Misane had gone out of her way to help him so often.

"... why?"

"What I feared most was... that you would choose to vanish from this world. That... that was scarier than anything."

Nanashi let out a small, sad, laugh before continuing the conversation

"No, I was wondering why you went that far for me?"

"well, thats as I said before." Misane quickly caught on to the fact Nanashi wasnt alright in this moment. "...it was quite embarrassing to say"

"Still, if that troubled you, Misane-chan... If it made you unhappy, I'd hate that"

Nanashis expression quickly changed. He almost immediately went from the usually happy, yet off putting guy, she thought she had known, to finally showing how he truely felt. His voice tone also changed with him, normally it was very bouncy and higher pitched, but, he had lost the spark in his voice.

"I dont want to meddle to much in people being happy or not. But I couldnt stand it if I was responsible for troubling them," The taller boy had glanced away from her before continuing, "It wouldn't matter if and when I vanished. Like everyone says, I'm worthless. I don't think anything of being unhappy, I dont mind"

Nanashi had tried to add a small laugh onto the end to make it seem more lighthearted than it was. Though, it almost made it sadded.

It was obvious to Misane at that point he was lying. She knew he was affected by how people thought of him, no matter how much he lied and said he wasn't bothered.

Nanashi had finally looked back to her, "so why..? Dont be so nice to the likes of me"

"... Is that all you wanted to say?"

"I dont have a name. I dont have a 'me'. I want to fit in like someones lost puzzle piece"

"All pieces have their own shape. Even you.... have one"

Nanashi had began to slowly back up from her, out of instinct.

"I know. The more time people spend with me, the more they begin to feel a certain feeling. one they didnt start with."

Everything Nanashi had started saying hurt Misane, more than his self deprecating comments already did

"And thats fine. In fact, its correct! I dont know why theres something wrong. so it must be myself whos wrong"

He began laughing. Not in a cute or funny way, but in a way that made Misanes stomach clench. She hated how he can go on about stuff like this, then just laugh. For Nanashi however, he was only laughing to keep himself from crying.

"Out of billions, im all alone. It doesnt matter i f I exist or not, does it?"

"Are you done!?"

Misane had stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. Nanashi had stumbled backwards, he wasn't exactly expecting her to pull him into a hug like this.

"...misane-chan?"

She had moved her chin onto his shoulder, it was comfier for them both. Misane had continued to hold him like that in silence for a few moments to give him time to process the sudden embrace from his best friend

"I told you before, I like you. So I want you to know sorrow from happiness! It wouldnt be any burden at all on me!"

Nanashi had finally returned the embrace, even if not fully

" You aren't worthless. Someone said you were just like a program - but he was wrong!

Nanashi, you're just clumsy, a little slow, overeager"

Misane had finally begun to slow down her scentences.

"A little cowardly... and too kind. that's all"

"no... dont do this. I don't know what to do..."

Nanashi didn't know how to react. He was so used to everyone constantly making fun of him or physically hurting him. He wasn't used to actually being cared for.

"I dont know what I'm supposed to do here... what is this..?"

"thats your heart. Its your self" Misane was releaved she had gotten through to him. Even if it pained her in the process

"You arent nameless. Youre Yoshi Nanase! the Yoshi Nanase... who I... love. ... You can show yourself. More and more of yourself!"

Nanashi had wrapped his arms tighter around her, properly returning the hug

"So can I... laugh?"

"yes"

"can I yell?"

"yes"

Nanashi knew what he wanted to say next. even if he was terrified to. He had buried his face into the smaller girls shoulder

"well... can I... cry?"

"yes."

[kudzucataclysm]

i know s!e is p much omniscient, but obvs dez & frank are the mcs/protags. is there any other character who you could see being the protag aside from them (like the story mostly told from their perspective). if not Mood, pls tell me why it Has to be dez & frank (i want plot crumbs 🌚) or if there is someone else that could be the mc tell me more about them and how the story would go if we were following them instead!

HRRRRM interesting question! i think other characters that'd take major pov…Maya, Carson and Friday in part 2, then eventually Hammond in part 3! part 2 is where i actually introduce a TON of martian characters/lore along with the promethean society so hopefully i can showcase more povs as the world expands..

and hm…i dunno why it has to be frank and dez! they actually weren't meant to be the mcs at first?? they were more or less side characters who i sort of fell into developing EXPEDITIOUSLY as the world developed alongside them- especially desmond vv' he's a whole other person now compared to who he was when se was just an idea. but maybe its cuz dez is meant to be sort of a vessel of sorts for the reader? cuz like in comparison to EVERYONE-FUCKING-ELSE he's relatively normal [<- lying]!! he's a powerless and an average kid at first glance who is forced to unfortunately confront/interact with the weirdness of Necropolis and the other characters by forces that have been in play for almost a century plot wise. in a way he's meant to be relatable? but not in any way thats obvious hopefully '''

and tbh frank is also an mc cuz before SE they were both in other wips where they were…a codependent duo of godkillers and then they were a duo of spirits traveling through the afterlife believe it or not vv' frank has always been there for dez, has always been both 'his dog' and other half, and its just really hard to imagine them being apart from each other!! and of course she's also mc cuz of her weird ass family unfortunately but..tbh i think of dez and frank as extensions of each other in a way. theyve grown more as characters writing wise throughout the past year TOGETHER and well..theyre just a package deal now for sure lol

at some point i decided the story centered around them and them alone specifically v-v if anyone else or another duo happened to be in their place, SE just wouldnt be SE i think if that makes sense :D

[midwestdiscontent24]

So im back

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you know you should like but you just cant bring yourself to fall in love with them, even though they love you in a way nobody else ever has? Thats the nightmare im currently living.

Im sure i sound like a real bitch for saying this, but i dont love my boyfriend. Not even a little bit. Its a combination of his looks and every single story hes told me about his life. And also the way his house is.

He lives in what could be a very nice house but unfortunately he shares it with 2 of his friends who live the exact same way he does, which i guess is the same way most men in their twenties live. All three of them stay in their rooms and play video games. All day. They only leave their rooms to go to work, get food, or use the bathroom; and honestly i wouldnt put it past any of them to keep an empty 2 liter next to their desk to piss in. One of them (not my boyfriend) keeps his pocket pussy in the communal bathroom. WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?! Thats literally one of the nastiest things ive ever heard. Theres a tub of sour cream in the bottom of the fridge from the previous owners. Theyve been in that house for almost 3 years, know its there, and yet they just toss it back in the fridge and say theyll deal with it later. I cant make this shit up.

My boyfriend though, is a fucking freak weirdo. To begin with, it took us dating for 6 months to even have any sort of intimate contact. And when we finally did, big shock, it was awful. I literally went dry while he was inside of me and had to pretend i was drunk to cover up the fact that im so repulsed by him that i cant stay wet. That has been the only time we've fucked. Its 2 months later.

It drives me fucking crazy. My last relationship lasted 4 months and i felt more in love then than i ever have now. And thats depressing as fuck. It just really is. I need someone i have passion with. One of my favorite things is just making out with someone. And i feel like my chances to do that with people is just fleeting as im getting older. And i mean im not really that old yet, but it feels like i am. I just have no passion, lust, love, anything with this guy.

Ive been wanting to break up with him for awhile and i was finally gonna do it after putting it off for a few months and his fucking grandma died today. Because of course thats how it would go. I swear to god sometimes it feels like im being cosmically punished by some higher being.

Aside from my boring awful relationship, ive got some rebound prospects on the horizon. Four of them, to be more specific. Well, i guess 3, could be 4 if one of them got their head out of their ass. And i shouldnt even say relationship, its definitely more situationship/hookup. All guys from my past, obviously. And of course theres one that i want more than any of them and that would be my friend jordan.

I cannot even begin to tell you how long ive liked him and wanted to date him. I want him in a way that makes me feel the longing of a thousand lifetimes and whenever he gets a girlfriend next im gonna kill her, him, and then myself. It goes beyond lust with him, because for the longest time i told myself thats all it was. But about a month ago, he was over at my apartment and he cried in front of me. Multiple times. If any other guy did that, i would immediately get the ick. But i didnt with him. I sat there and comforted him and held him and told him it would all be ok.

And whats been my thanks for that? Being left on read for like 4 weeks. Its like, ok fuck me, cool got it.

God i need to talk about something else. I need to stop talking about him and thinking about him all the time. Its literally pathetic. Ive asked him so many times to just point blank tell me he just wants to fuck; that way i can let go of any notion that we could end up dating and i can remove myself from him in that way. But he wont. And i dont know why. it hurts so much that he cant even do that for me. Despite it all, if he were to mesage me right now and ask if he could come over i would let him. I would let him gut me like a fish and eat my liver and kidneys and other organs if he said he was that hungry. I really would.

[inbetween-beast-and-man]

🎤 - An audio transcript from a recording

ENTRY#1008361

In which an expedition into the Seattle Underground City doesnt go as well as planned.

VZCZCXRO6637 RR RUEHAG RUEHAO RUEHAP RUEHAT RUEHBC RUEHBI RUEHBL RUEHBW RUEHBZ RUEHCD RUEHCHI RUEHCI RUEHCN RUEHDA RUEHDE RUEHDF RUEHDT RUEHDU RUEHED #2628/04 1379630 ZNR UUUUU ZZH R 162022Z NOV 19 FM SECSTATE WASHDC TO ALL DIPLOMATIC AND CONSULAR POSTS COLLECTIVE TO CPTN AND ALL WORKING BODIES OF RUEHTRO/FIRSTLIGHT ARCHIVE TRIPOLI 0478 BT UNCLAS SECTION 01 OF 02 STATE XXXXXX E.O. 12958: N/A TAGS: ETRD, EAGR, EAID, ECON, TBIO, , , SUBJECT: RECORD #00061 OF FILE: STTL UNGRD CITY EXP #27

[Sounds of the underground city] [ALL WHISPERING]

E1-1: I cant see shit in here. fuck. E1-3: They need to give us better shit if they wanna throw us into the fucking slums like this E1-1: shut up. you know we dont have the budget to keep replacing shit. after last weeks water accident its going to take some time. E1-2: thats what they want you think anyways. E1-1: complaining bout it makes no difference. Were on a mission here. not to be little bitches come on now. E1-2: whatever big boss. where we goin? E1-1: deeper in I fear. And I fear they know were coming so shut the fuck up and keep ur weapons up. the rats work for the blanks E1-3: But the birds, thank god. work for the government. E1-1 & E1-2: Amen. RERCORD #00072 OF FILE: STTL UNGRD CITY EXP#27 [GUNSHOTS]

E1-2: WHERE THE FUCK IS GULL!? SUBJECT #3: Dont worry you'll join him soo- [GUNSHOT] [THUD] SUBJECT #2: MIR!? YOU MONSTER! E1-1: rich coming from a blank. where the FUCK did you fucks take Gull!? Cardinal get the fuck up soldier and get your fucking weapon. [SCREECHING SOUND] [KICKING NOISE] E1-2: He attacked me from behind magpie. E1-1: you should know better where the hell did your training go. and thats sir for you. Tie this one up. I will look for Gull. E1-2: yes sir.

RERCORD #00079 OF FILE: STTL UNGRD CITY

SUBJECT #1: I did not appreciate what you did to Mir. you know how many years I already poured into that idiot. But Im glad you seem so willing to replace him. maybe youll even do better atleast you seem capable. E1-1: Thank you but no fucking thanks. how about you let me go and I will blow up your fucking brain. SUBJECT #1: He was a friend. just like Sticks was and what did you do with her huh? my fucking broodmate. my SISTER. and you dare speak like that at me when your life is at MY mercy. no fucking regret? Dont you ever stop to wonder what its like for US?! We did not choose this. unlike you. E1-1: do you really wanna want to fucking talk philosophy right now with your claws inside my fucking abdomen? SUBJECT #1: I have forever. and having you suffer a little before your real punishment begins seems only fair to what the fuck you did. E1-1: Well of course. let me entertain you by [SPITTING SOUND] SUBJECT #1: You hunters are so fucking disgusting. [GUNSHOT] E1-2: I keep telling him that too but he's terrible bout baths. really suprised he was gonna decline living in the underground with you lot. SUBJECT #1: [UNINTELLIGIBLE SOUNDS] [YELLING AND GUNSHOTS]

RERCORD #00093 OF FILE: STTL UNGRD CITY EXP#27

E1-2: hey hey Mags come on. stay here with me alright. E1-1: didnt think ud come back in time bud E1-2: As if Id let the licks have you. we wouldnt stand a chance if youd be their puppet. E1-1: been there done that. I wouldnt be nothing special. [...] E1-1: Hey cardinal? E1-2: Yeah? E1-1: Next time. if its between me and your own safety. pick your own safety. E1-2: With all due respect magpie, thats never happening. now come on. we're almost out. we caught Sticks we did good. therell be medics waiting and Im gonna make sure you'll have that sweet fucking nurse. bet the others will be jealous as fuck. E1-1: and Gull?... E1-2: lets get you out of here first okay.

[everybodysaycbx]

YOUR TAGS ON SOO’S FILMOGRAPHY ALFHAKHSAKBit really do be like that 😭😭😭

Like 75% of his stuff hits straight to the water pipes, even the stuff he only has a minor role in

LITERALYYYYYY its so hard to watch most of his stuff even tho i want to bc hes such a good actor but when theres a new movie of his coming out its almost always a serious drama and im like,,,,,,,,,,do i wanna watch him die again or do i need some happiness rn bcjskqkwjjdjshhhsqjj

probably why i rewatch 100 days my prince so often its my favorite kdrama of his (i love historical dramas so im biased lol) and yeah theres some sad and even tragic moments but its overall a good time and very interesting (plus he and nam jihyun are wonderful in this (and everything they do tbh) and so are the supporting actors

also now im going to use this as an excuse to ramble about my thoughts on the show bc i love it but i have Critiques™ so ill put a read more for spoilers bc ill talk about them a lot

almost all of these issues if not all are all about the writing so there wont be any criticism of the acting which i thought was pretty good overall by kdrama standards (there were only a few times where i thought it was detrimental to my enjoyment but again it was still more to do with my problems with the writing)

so to really get into it, the pacing suffers with the back half of the episodes feeling a bit rushed especially in the last few episodes. i didnt feel like the first half was dragging much except in a few areas but again it didnt detract from my enjoyment. the last id say 5 or 6 episodes really feel like they were speedrunning which made the ending less satisfying

so when i looked at reviews of the show years ago i saw many people criticizing how the main antagonist died bc it felt anticlimatic and i do agree, especially on first watch. while its not as jarring as the first time when ive rewatched it the way he dies still doesnt feel built up as well as it could have been and i think it could have worked if the pacing for the ending wasnt so rushed (plus the numerous twists during the last couple of episodes made it a bit hard to follow where it was heading and some of what WAS set up i think was lost in that but tbh thats par for the course for kdramas lol)

speaking of the ending, i get why it ended the way that it did with the marriage mandate happening again to make everything come full circle, but character wise i dont think it was the way to go. wondeuk has always expressed even before he lost his memory that he hated being royal and never wanted to live that life because of what his father did to get it. and even knowing that he wasnt wondeuk and was probably a noble at the very least he wanted to be with hongshim in the village or wherever they needed to go. hongshim similarly has already gotten used to being a commoner and has lived that way longer than her former life. even in the epilogue she doesnt really live her life as a noble even if her status has been reinstated. i think it wouldve made more sense if he renounced the throne and chose to live with her in the village.

adding to the last point, if they had stayed in the village together and he abdicated, then his half brother would be the crown prince and the queen wouldnt be on her bullshit even at the end of the show!!! dude literally killed the guy who was threatening you and controlling your husband and you still cant stop trying to fuck him over so your son can be king??? i know the evil manipulative queen is a trope in these but shes so illogical it was a bit annoying which is a shame bc i usually love those characters

the show like,,,,,less than halfway through forgets wondeuks half brother is even a character like why was he even there. theres some indication in the beginning of the show that he likes the crown princess but that doesnt really go anywhere (its only brought up in like 2 scenes at the beginning and in the epilogue wheres shes moved to a remote location with the baby and goes to visit for some reason.....dude yall had maybe 3 lines of dialogue between each other. why are you here) and he even tells wondeuk that he hates him but we never really figure out why bc he doesnt really want to be the crown prince that much (not that i can recall rn) so his only role in the story is to help the queen be a red herring but not be a real character of his own

this is more of what i felt upon rewatch but every time i rewatch it i find it more and more annoying but the palace drama where the queen is spreading rumors and then the guys who support the antagonist make fake fliers about how the kingdom wants her deposed for this in order to manipulate the king is just,,,,,extremely uninteresting upon rewatch. like so much is happening that goes on for so long and its dragged out for way longer than it should be AND it takes time away from the village plot with wondeuk and hongshim aka the actual interesting part. so now i mostly just skip those parts even tho when i first watched the show it was fairly interesting tho i felt it dragged on a bit too long so i wont say this is a huge strike against it or anything

while i knew the brother was going to die bc thats how these kinds of stories work i was still upset fjisjshdsjsh he was a great character and while i think it still makes sense why and its still narratively satisfying imo, i think it would still be satisfying if he lived and he and the princess escaped successfully. i think it would work a little bit better actually bc it would make the antagonists decisions make a little more sense in the finale bc not everything is going to his plan and hes losing more control (plus they deserve to be happy :(( they deserve the happy ending wondeuk and hongshim get too) plus it would still tie in with hongshims motivations for rejecting wondeuk initially before the epilogue

thats the last of the criticism but this isnt a praise so ill leave an idea i had for like a what if scenario ig: so i always wondered what would happen if either the antagonist doesnt get to wondeuk in time during the festival or he gets killed by the people the king sent to attack him and hongshims brother gets there to take them them plus her dad with them into hiding. and the awkward tension that would ensue when wondeuk either figures out her brother is the assassin thats been coming after them or just immediately knows when he sees him come to get them but they both dont want to hurt hongshim by telling her what they know about the other but shes distressed that they obviously dont like each other and this is all happening while theyre running around the woods and trying to find a place they can hide out and her dad is just,,,,,,,so confused the entire time but trying to make everyone get along fjwwqkdhuheuedh idk i could add to this later bc i have so many ideas on how it could play out but ill stop there fisksjbdjssjdjssj

[shitsadpsting]

it happened. again. We broke up. 7/2/23. i don't know where to start. besides that i love him. I didn't anticipate falling this hard for him. Again. He has too much to do and he doesn't have the time that he wants, or that I deserve, to be with me. I hate that we can't be together. Because I really feel like he feels the same. But I don't want to be in the way of him being his best self and doing what he loves most. I love him too much for that and I can't be that selfish. when we started dating a light dread washed over me. wondering if this really is the right choice. Should i really be in a relationship again just after d? i felt burnt out almost, dreading and fearing the fights or emotional labour that would take my energy. Like d. The friction. The work. The crying. The feeling like a high maintinence bitchy girlfriend. But the more time went on the more I learned how easy it was. he was so easy to be around. making me feel beautiful was easy. making me feel seen was easy. listening was easy. and then it suddenly clicked for me. its supposed to be this easy. It doesn't always have to be. love isn't without its hard shit. it felt like night and day. and i wasn't scared anymore. we were as compatible as we were before, but better. but adults. ive never felt this way about someone before. but now im scared again. scared that i will always feel like this for him. but only because hes not mine anymore. if he was i wouldnt be. I hate when people say that "well maybe x hard thing had to happen for x good thing to happen". Its just trying to justify the ends when the means were never the right course of action to begin with. what was needed was the time. but the timing still wasn't right. the timing almost felt poetic. 7 years almost on the date we started dating again. We weren't trying again. we just got together. and it was as easy as ever.

meeting him at the funeral was one of the best days ive had in years and i hate saying that. It felt like no time had passed between us. we still accommodated each other. teased each other. and talked to each other. like no time had passed. it felt so right. and getting together again felt even more right than i expected. he made everyone invisible to me. he made me so happy it was almost embarrassing. i dont know what else to say. i love him and i want him. but the best him that belongs to me isnt possible.

I keep wanting to write "right now". as if its gonna happen again. I want it to so bad it hurts me. in a way this was worse than me and d breaking up. i didn't even tell my boss what had happened, but he would ask me "why are you crying over that asshole", and hes right in a way. I'm crying over what he did, because what he did hurt. crying over what i got that i didn't deserve. but now im crying over what im missing with e.

and i. miss. everything. i miss the way he smells. the way his arms felt around me. the way he grabbed me. i miss tracing my fingers over his soft, inked hand. i miss running my fingers through his beard. i miss his lips. i miss the way he could turn me on in record speed by just looking at me with his intense blue eyes. i miss how he would take care of me. i miss the water. i miss how he would playfully grab my nose and chuckle. i miss his compliments. it would be things i had never heard from anyone. i miss his cooking. i miss how he could read me. ive never been read. in the past i was always told that i always needed to communicate what i needed. because d couldnt read my mind. it was hard for him. but for e it was easy. we just knew what the other needed. and right then and there i realised how important and virtous it was to have someone that could not only read you. but that took the time to learn how to read you. because for them it isnt some kind of chore. it feels like our relationship almost transcended time. like it was meant to be however long it lasted. because it just felt like the natural progression. i want only the best for him. whoever ends up being the one for him is going to be the luckiest bitch alive. im just sad its not me (read; not me, right now.) sometimes love is not enough. thats the kind that really hurts. i just miss him. and it hurts.

[fuck-off-im-ace]

@cobaltbluesky @queerbird hi thanks for volunteering for a too big rant! 

So basically i’m starting a campaign with new players. Our dm watched about 50 crit role episodes but never played, we have an experienced player going bard, and three newbies. One is rogue, one is cleric, and one is warlock. Since i had no idea what they would play, i created like 8 characters, and now i have to chose between my two favorite to complete the party. 

Character 1

Basically just a cowboy in a long leather coat, but instead of pistols in holsters he got a small crossbow on each hip. I think the idea of fantasy cowboy is hilarious. He’s an artificer, and my dream is to make a homunculus servant thats basically just that unicorn from the Robot Unicorn Attack game that was popular in 2010. I know its supposed to be tiny, and my dm already said that she’s gonna make me roll to see if its a tiny horse or if i manage to make a regular sized horse. He can also put both of his crossbows on Repeating Shot as an artificer, so i dont even need to worry about reloading, i can just walk around with one in each hand. 

I really just want him to be a funny guy, like that will be funny for me to play. I will make a list of old people sayings but adapted to a fantasy setting, and just constantly bombard the party with those, like “Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched” and similar stuff. I also want to make shit up on the spot and act like its true, because the new players will for sure be influenced, and they are making low intelligence and low wisdom characters, so i want to go “of course you can ride a bear, i did that once when i needed to escape some guy that was chasing me after i stole his pants” and watch them try it. 

I also prepped him a bit of a backstory to explain the fact that he’s a traveler. In our world, there’s the capital of one kingdom that doesnt tolerate criminals and homeless people, and any other person that might ruin their reputation basically, so they arrest them, put them on a boat, and send them in a colony on the other side of a small sea (kinda like France colonising America). So i decided that my guy lived in the capital, and as a teenager him and his bestie did some kind of crime that i will figure out, they got caught, and the bestie took the fall for it and was sent to the colony. So my guy stole a horse and left to find him, its been 20 years and he’s still looking for his friend, even if he doesnt have hope of ever finding him anymore. 

Character 2

This guy is the emo one. I still need to work on the details of how and why, but i was thinking that both their parents were paladins for a god, until that god needed the sacrifice of willing human souls. So they offered their own souls, but in exchange asked for the god to protect their baby kid for the rest of their life. The god promised, and raised the baby as an aasimar to show good faith to the parents. The kid grew up in the temple of the god, cared for by the clerics living there, but they hate the god and the clerics, cause its their fault that their parents died. And i think that, deep down, they want to kill the god. 

He’s a cleric, of course, and i want him to be Pissed about it, and pretend that they’re not. Like they learn how to heal someone in a natural way, with a doctor and all that, and then as soon as they try the god powers just slip through and heal the person with magic. And all their spells work like that, i’m modifying spells with my dm to make it work so that he never tries to use magic, but the magic sorta just happens. If i want to cast light, i wouldnt cast the spell. I would pretend to light a torch, and have that generate light as a spell, instead of doing it the normal way. And as an aasimar the god can communicate with them through visions, so when they’re being too much of a little bitch the god just pops in to be like “oh my god can you please stop almost dying for 5 fucking minutes, i have other shit to do with my life”. 

Depending on how the campaign goes, and his interactions with the party, they will either learn to accept their powers and the god, or they will go a bit darker and want to become more and more powerful while hiding it in the hopes of one day killing the god. We’ll see how that goes. 

I’ll be honest, i really love the idea of a god-hating cleric and a fantasy artificer cowboy, but since we’re just starting and everyone is new, i dont know how the campaign will go. I’m probably gonna keep the other one for next campaign or something. But still, which one should i pick for this campaign?

Thoughts?

Hello i need to choose my dnd character before thursday and i cannot pick between two options, anyone wanna weight in?

[666bone]

.

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[tweedfrog]

im sorry, but reading ur last couple posts it kinda sounds like you think Ned should have been more overtly racist and bc he wasn’t grrm is racist, but on the flip side giving arya prejudice thoughts also makes grrm a racist and a bad writer? like grrm for sure has dodgy bits but you’re giving him a bit of a no win scenario here. if he had made the targs black like originally planned do you think that would have been better or worse? (1/2)

ok im going to address this point by point because there is a lot of reaching and misunderstanding here

1. I am not here to present a ‘win’ scenario for GRRMs writing. I am discussing the shortcomings of the way he writes racism and yet uses racist tropes. A lot of these are as you state ‘no win’ scenarios because he decided to craft a world where racism exists while having extremely few characters of colour in important positions, AND while using racist tropes. There are many no win scenarios simply because of this tension.

2. I dont want Ned to be a more vocally racist character? And please point out where I said that Grrm was racist because Ned wasnt portrayed as having overt anti-dornish sentiment? I stated that because GRRM created a world where racism exists everything now has to be analysed bearing that in mind. It’s the same as stating that because misogyny exists in universe male characters are possibly (and likely) somewhat misogynistic and their interactions with with women and the way they treat female characters must be analysed in such a way.

Me stating that anti-dornish racism could have been a possible reason why Ned reacted less vehemently to the deaths of Elia and her children is me analysing it within the frame-work that GRRM set up. I’m using this to point out that when white authors add fantasy racism into a story they dont see the raicst implications of what they are writing because they dont understand the way racism impacts almost everything in real life.

For example in our world when non-white children or women go missing or are murdered their deaths are much less publicized than when white women or children get murdered or go missing. So yes racism affects the way that people are treated in such scenarios and when you decide to include fantasy racism in your story you have now included all of this extra stuff and need to do work to make sure that what you are writing does not perpetuate or enforce racism.

3. I literally never said arya having racist thoughts made GRRM a racist and bad writer. I have no clue where you got that. I used Aryas remark to highlight how anti-dornish sentiment clearly exists in the North because 9 year old children dont develop racist ideas in a vaccuum.

4. Where did I ever state that everything that happens to the martells was a micro aggression? I’m also confused as to where you got the word “micro” from??? Because idk about you but things like characters not really caring about the rape and death of a non-white woman and the deaths of her biracial children, a child being shunned because they “smelled dornish” and dornish women being hypersexualised in the narrative are some pretty macro aggressions.

5. Finally you deciding to ‘not discuss the essoss stuff’ is missing one of the main points of what I am trying to say. GRRM’s writing isnt racist because sometimes bad things happen to the Martells. The combination of his writing of the dothraki as savages with no introspection when compared to the free folk, the brutal killing of many martells for shock value, the contrast between the way he portrays Lyanna and the way he portrays Elia, the exotic/erotic trope he uses when writing dornish women, the fact that he hasnt named the princess of dorne while all her male counterparts have recieved names AND backstories and the fact that he made a white character the centre of the essoss plotline and a whole host of other decisions combine to make his writing....kinda racist. If it happened one time it may be a coincidence. If it happens about 10 times its a pattern.

Would it be racist if the Starks were written as inuit and then split up? Probably - given the history of murder and brutal seperation indigenous families have faced! Would making the more visibly indigenous stark children plainer while making the more white passing stark children better looking be racist? Probably - considering the way that eurocentric beauty standards are still upheld! With GRRM his issue is that he doesn't use 1 or 2 racist tropes in isolation. That could be a mistake. He uses several in succession.

Regarding the Targaryens being Black I think that if he wrote them in exactly the same manner (unlikely given how he treats other characters of colour) it likely wouldnt be racist but that the fandom probably would take it as an excuse to be racist.

So now that weve gotten through all of that straw-man criticism about my “take” I’m actually going to suggest some ways that he could have still written about fantasy racism without accidentally perpetuating it

1. If he is going to brutally kill off Elia he needs to AT LEAST have more discussions surrounding her death. Who Elia was as a person (dont just make her a sad cardboard cut out - I want to see some background on who she was outside of being an abandoned wife and mother). One story about Elia by Oberyn isnt enough. I also want to see more societal shock about Elias death because theres a weirdly small amount. The rape and murder of the crown princess shouldve been an extremely huge scandal and should have horrified many more people.

2. Theres no real way to kill off two non white children and have their white sibling be a prophetic hero without dicey implications so Aegon needs to survive and be the actual Aegon and not a secret blackfyre. We dont know if he is a secret blackfyre or not so this may just be a case of the fandom taking an excuse to be racist and running with it

3. Have more Dornish characters that dont die brutally for shock value (Elia, Oberyn, Quentyn). Furthermore when you only have 2 povs of dornish characters,,,,and you kill one of them off, yes that is not a great look

4. Dont introduce the only WoC pov in the whole damn book nipple first and as a blatant play on the brown seductress when she has legitimate political concerns and greivances

And thats only the dornish characters! With the dothraki and most of essoss just.....anything aside from what he’s done would be better. But of course im sure none of this is actually racist writing decisions. No its simply complex characterisation of course!!1!

[blissfali]

I'm curious about the timeline Luke

OH CUM SURVIVAL MULTIPLAYER I THOUGHT YOUD NEVER ASK!

ahehmeahemahem

for the sake of making things make sense, for mee the canon timeline is almost nonexistent ^_^ cause the lm,anburg war lasting for like a month or less obviously dont make sense irl if we're gonna shoehorn real life physics n shit into this right?

SOOO!! In my brain the DSMP, using say wilburs niki apology stream for reference, was created about 3 1/2 or a bit more years before that stream in a realistic (Well as realistic as this can get !) timeline ->

c!tommy joins the server at 14, wherein previously he was basically raised on hypixel and all that (+wilbur before then and before That it was the LAb but we're not here for this right now) and then You know the regular stuff happens! Build house. ttubbo arrival. the disc war happens early game probably a few weeks/a month into tommy's stay and then everything has gone 2 shit ! ->

c!wilbur joins about two months into the servers creation. hes like,, 26 or something, and lmanburg is still formed on that same day, but the independence war doesnt last for like. a week. and instead goes on over the course of 8 months or so ! so not that long but still kinda long. the election takes place in the last 2 months, tommy and tubbo turn 15 like before the election, probably pre-final control room, and then->

pogtopia joins the ranks lasting another 8 months or so! so in total, since the start of the server it has already been 18 months, or a year and a half, of the server ! everything is a lot more spread out in terms of like. filler between events. so obviously like taking into account real world shit like stuff wouldnt get built/done in like An Hour of stream but instead over the course of weeks and such you know? so like how IRL everything happens one after the other, in real terms there would be shit sponged in between that is all trapped in my head but only contains filler ! so like during the lmanwar when theres a gap in streams/events real time, in the servers canon timeline they r doing Actual war prepping shit you know ! ->

Lo and behold cwilbur kicks the bucket, ctubbo comes into presidency and that time preceding tommys exile lasts as long as it does in real life which was like two weeks or something. then p[bbt, exile, and that lasts for nine months ^_^ (this is including his time with techno!) tommy spends 6 months in logsted, with the beach party noting as his 16th birthday about 2/3s into tommys exile , and then 3 months with techno since Obviously like the 2 weeks tommy was in logsted and the other week he was with techno Wouldnt Make Sense in a real world sense. doomsday goes on over the course of about a day and a half as the dispensers continue going off and emptying out the last of the tnt in their systems. by now it has been 28 months into the servers creation, or 2 and a half years, and tommy is like 16 and some months if my math is wrong dont yell at me. disc finale happens a month after doomsday its a very Sad month ->

and then Well voila the hotel arc! Which goes on for another 6 months. swag. tommy stays in the prison for a month like was in stream time but he did stay dead pour tree days! and 3 month in limbo . he is jesus. wilbur is revived 2 months after tommys revival, tomy turns 17 during this time.i hatemath .wilbur hes still been in limbo for the 13 1/2 years i dont feel like doing limbo time conversion and that bitch has been in there long enough so everyone just shaddup. it has been 10 month since disc finale. 38 month since server creation (3 year s.) Well now all of the other stuff like The henry dies the prison break the apologies n whatnot that happens in 6 months die. dream still spends a year in prison . ithink. doint ask me about things. in my perfect world cranboo is still alive he was never killed during tha prison break but he was killed during the van shit n all that . ehs got like 1 life left. everyone is happy.

[coffeechangbeanie]

Home Reading 18+

Dilf!Chan, biker!chan, kindergarten teacher!reader

Basically Chris' daughter is in your kindergarten class, and you've been simping whenever he pulls up on his motorbike to pick her up. Plus he's tattooed because I have n e e d s ok? There's a bit of pussy slapping and dirty talk but it's pretty vanilla.

__________________________________

You were standing outside the school, making sure your kindergarten class stayed in line. As the bus pulled up to the side if the road, your kindergarten assistant took her line of bus kids to that side of the parking lot, giving you a lovely view of the parent parking lot. Especially one parent in particular. You composed yourself as you saw Mr. Bang pull up in his motorcycle, his daughter, Yuna, excitedly jumped up and down, accidentally hitting another girl. The girl starts to cry, hitting Yuna back. Hiding your annoyance, you knelt down to Yuna, "Yuna, remember, keep control of your hands." Yuna sheepishly nods. "And Suzie we know not to hit our friends back-"

"Ms. Yn?" A deep voice says behind you, interupting your teacher speech.

You turn around, standing up to see Chris.

His black leather jacket hangs off his shoulders exposing just enough of the head of his surpent tattoo on his neck for you to wonder how far the snake went down his body.

"Ah, Mr. Bang, did you get my email?"

"yes I did, where are we having this impromptu parent teacher meeting?" He says, adjusting his helmet under his arm, a much smaller, sparkly pink one tucked inside.

You see your assistant coming back up the sidewalk. "Right now if ms. Chaeyoung wouldnt mind taking over."

"of course! Go have your meeting," she says, taking your clipboard from you.

You lead the way back inside to you classroom.

The room's walls are lined with students drawings, crafts, and pictures. A whiteboard with the day's letter still up.

"Mr. Bang, today marks the 3rd week her home reading isn't done. In class she's unfocused, hyperactive, and disruptive, I'd like to work with you so we can help her succeed."

Chris rubs his eyes defeatedly, "it's been a tough few weeks, I'll get on the home reading and speak to her about her behaviour."

"thank you, Mr. Bang."

He nods, awkwardly leaving your classroom. You watch him exit the building from the window. Happily picking up Yuna and putting on her helmet for her. He carries her out the his bike as she sits atop his shoulders. You can't help but smile at the cuteness.

It had been a few weeks since your meeting with Chris about Yuna, but you couldn't get the thought of him out if your head. (Not that you could normally, but it was especially bad lately). You know you shouldn't be thinking about one if your student's parent that way but you'd never seen a ring in his finger and Yuna never talked about her mom on the "draw your family" art project...

You were out walking your dog through the playground, the late afternoon sun hanging low in the sky. You hear children giggle as they played.

"Ms. yn!" You look up to see Felix, a parent of another of your students, sitting in a park bench next to Chris. You do a double take when you catch a blush rising up his cheeks.

"Mr. Lee, Mr. Bang," you say, your dog preoccupied with a smell under the bench, "lovely evening for the park innit?"

Felix checks his watch, "speaking of, it's almost dinner time."

"tell your wife I say 'hi'" Chris calls after Felix who's helping his little girl pack up her toys.

"always do!" Felix calls back.

Chris laughs. It's such a genuine laugh, almost like a giggle.

You found yourself fascinated with the sound.

"something on my face?"

You snap out if your daze, "sorry, I just wasn't expecting your laugh to sound like that," you try to laugh away the awkwardness.

It seems to work as Chris relaxes his shoulders, loosening up. He laughs again. The sight of his crinkled eyes as he looks at you makes your heart swell.

"I know it's rather sudden," Chris inhaled sharply, "but would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow? Yuna's having a sleepover at Felix's since it's a Friday-"

"I'd love to!" You cut off his rambling.

"really!?" He asks excitedly with wide eyes.

"yeah I thought you'd never ask," you laugh, "is 7 o'clock a good time?"

"I'll see you then," he says, grinning from ear to ear.

You walk up a set of concrete steps, seeing Chris' bike on the drive as you approach the front door.

The door opens before you have a chance to raise your hand to knock.

Chris looks stunningly sifistocated in his white button up and black jeans, hair styled curly as he invites you inside. He asks to take your coat, more than happy to show off your backless red dress.

"wow," he breaths, taking in the sight.

You smile, "you don't look half bad yourself."

He has a classy dinner already laid in on his dinning room table.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find a table cloth."

"I don't mind at all," you say, smiling at Yuna's drawings etched into the wood.

Chris pulls out a chair for you, you sit down, thanking him. From this angle you have a good view into an office. You notice a stack of books and recording equipment piled on a desk

"what's the books for?" You ask.

"hm? Oh! Just my university stuff," he says, serving you.

"what are you studying?"

"music production, because I hate working so low down in the company."

You listen to him talk about his degree, how he's been studying for his finals the last few weeks, his job now and Yuna. He fills you in on all the adorable, sweet, and cheeky things his little girl has done. You see the sparkle in his eyes and can't help but reciprocate, she really is a sweet kid.

You find him fascinating in everyway. But your mind wanders a bit, he is also irresistibly sexy with his dark curls in his eyes and shirt showing a bit too much skin. The fact that you're sitting across from him now is enought to make your core wet.

"-sorry I don't mean to talk so much, I just rarely get the chance to have adult conversations, you know living with a 5 year old and what not- and here I go again rambling." He sheepishly resumes eating his dinner.

"not at all! I love listening to you!"

"really?"

"yeah," you say, a bit too breathy.

"that's good," he says staring at your lips. You hadn't realized you'd been biting your bottom one. You decide to bite the bullet instead and press your foot to his crotch. His body goes pliant in his chair for a moment before he silently puts his fork down.

He looks at you, searching your gaze before a dark lustful look comes over him.

He picks up his fork again, "the bedroom is the last room on the left hallway," he says, finishing his last bite of food.

Youve hardly processed his sentence when he speaks again.

"Did you hear me baby girl?"

You nod rapidly, standing up with weak knees going down the hallway.

You find the bedroom. You're inside for less than a second when Chris pushes you against his bedroom wall, kissing you deeply.

"How about you strip for me, let me see how much you want me." He's hardly finished his sentence when you're pulling off your clothes. You struggle to get out of your dress in your eagerness, eventually draping it over a nearby chair, kneeling on the floor, looking up eagerly at him.

"no bra," he breaths, his eyes fucking you.

Chris takes his sweet time unbuttoning his shirt. You can't help but ogle at the sight. Your eyes find the serpent, following it down his chest, the end of its tail still tucked behind his black jeans.

Chris continues the show, slowly dropping his pants and stepping out of them.

So it ends at his knee. You think to yourself.

You can see his leaking dick pressed painful hard against his underwear. Your mouth waters at the sight.

"close your mouth, darling. You'll catch flies." He grins, voice like silk.

"maybe you should close my mouth for me," you test.

He smirks, running the pad of his thumb against your bottom lip.

You take that as permission to pull his boxers down.

"you gonna be a good girl and take all my cock?" He asks smugly.

You nod, stroking his length, leaving kitten licks on his tip.

Chris groans, "feels so good, Yn."

You take his whole length into his mouth, taking him by surprise. he accidentally bucks his hips into your warm mouth.

He moans seeing you choke on his cock for a second.

Chris mumbles an apology as he rest his hand in your hair, feeling the way you bob your head up and down on his thick length.

You bask in his elicit moans, feeling smug knowing you're the one on your knees for him, not any of your co-workers or single moms. You.

He suddenly pulls your head off him. You whine in response. Chris guides you back to your feet, pulling your body against his.

"that was fun baby girl, but now it's your turn," he whispers into your neck, his hard-on dripping against your thigh.

Chris picks you up, tossing you effortlessly on the bed, he kisses down your neck to your boobs, giving each a gentle squeeze before continuing his ministrations down your body. He gives special attention to your thighs, avoiding where you want him most. You catch his drift.

"please Chris, please touch my pussy" you whine.

Chris moans, "such a dirty girl."

"please," you whine again.

Chris lightly brushes his fingers over your womanhood, just barely missing your clit.

You groan in annoyance.

"touch me harder, Chris please!"

He lands a harsh but not painful slap on your dripping cunt. You moan, gripping his bicep as a wave of pleasure hits you.

"like that, baby girl?"

You nod rapidly.

Chris kisses your pussy lips, before slapping you again, you don't have time recover when he lands a third.

Chris presses his tongue against your clit. You watch his eyes flutter closed as he eats you out like he didn't just finish dinner.

He inserts 2 fingers, making you scream in pleasure.

He pistons his fingers in and out of your soaked heat while sucking harshly on your clit.

It quickly becomes too much, you come on his fingers with a moan of his name

Chris doesn't stop, he slows down while you ride out your orgasm but picks up the pace when you start squirming.

After your third orgasm, pulls his fingers out, you whine in protest.

"I can't take it anymore," he groans, whipping a drawer open and cracking a fresh box of condoms.

You watch his fingers, still slick with your come open the wrapper.

"first time using one of these," he nervously giggles when he catches your gaze.

You take the condom from him, sliding it down his thick length. His erection twitching in your hand.

You sense the anxiety in the air.

You lay on your back, pulling him on-top.

"fuck me Chris," you moan.

He groans as he guides his dick in you.

You moan when he bottoms out.

He starts off slow, letting you feel all of his length. As he gains confidence, he quickens his pace until you're screaming his name.

He slows his thrusts just long enough to make you squirm before his hips resume pistoning in you. The pleasure knocking the wind out of you.

"feels so good, Chris," you moan, tangling a hand in his hair. Your other hand moving down his back, feeling his back muscles flex with every jerk of his hips.

"fuck Yn, I'm going to come."

You've lost the ability to speak, responding only by moaning.

You both come at the same time, feeling him relax onto you.

After a moment of heavy breathing and gentle kisses later, Chris pulls out. He throws out the condom standing up. He pulls one of his clean black tees over your exhausted form. He tucks you into bed with him.

"that was amazing, Yn, thank you."

"you're very welcome, I thoroughly enjoyed myself," you chime. Chris giggles, his thumb rubbing circles on your thigh.

You laugh, burying your head into the crook of his neck.

He wraps his arms around you as you trace his snake tattoo from his neck down to his side to his leg.

He pulls you into a gentle but passionate kiss, your hands finding purchase on his shoulders.

"can I ask a question, Chris?" You ask between kisses.

"shoot."

"what happened to Yuna's mom?"

Chris took a deep breath, you cringed at yourself for letting curiousity get the better of you.

"she was a fling in my senior year of high school, when she got pregnant and didn't want the baby, I said I'd take her. Yuna's never met her mom."

"I didn't know, I'm so sorry."

"don't be." He smiled, "I think you'd make a much better mom for her."

"really?"

"if that's what you want!" Chris rushed, realizing what he just said.

"that is what I want," you say, kissing his lips.

"does that mean you'll do her home reading for me?"

You laugh, nodding.

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Ugh I feel like this is trash lmao I tried. Ive volunteered in kindergarten before so I tried to make the dialogue work but idk if it did, I wrote this instead of sleeping. It's also been a very long time since I've written in "novel" format since I'm practicing screenplays rn oof so I'm sorry if this sucks. Please leave a comment if you enjoyed! And thank you to @lovebini for the giggling suggestion!

-Elle