#but its also scarier because idk how to tell them to fuck off so i just hurry away like a frightened deer

[jellogram]

Also my friend left for India so it's just me today and I decided to get lunch (which was lovely) but it took a full 20 minutes of walking alone in Vienna for some old men to harass me. And I'm like oh yeah. I am once again a woman by herself. I stg men are the same in every country and every language they see a woman by herself and they're like I have GOT to make her uncomfortable or I'm gonna die

[losergaymothman]

ALL of my Criminal Minds Headcanons:

(I watched the entirety of criminals minds for the first time (except season 16 bc it’s ASS), starting in May and ending in September, and I wrote all of these during that period. enjoy!!) SEMI-UNEDITED U HAVE BEEN WARNED.

- I think that Reid would come out to the whole team around late season 4. He’d tell them that he’s trans first, since it’s the scarier one, and then hit them with the bisexual one a couple days later when he tells them about his boyfriend of the time. They’re all very supportive, of course, especially since half the team is queer themselves (Emily = lesbian, JJ = aroace spec/queer, Penelope = genderqueer/pan). It’s also around this time where he becomes more open with all of the team, so he often is able to talk about his depression, anxiety, ptsd and autism/adhd with them, especially since most of them struggle with the same things. He doesn’t like talking about his addiction issues, though, and usually leaves that for his therapist and Narcotics Anonymous group.

[i actually ended up writing a fic related to this, which you can find here:

- this is canon, but can we fucking talk about how Gideon’s son Stephen and Spencer know each other somehow?? like when Gideon dies, Stephen and Spencer HUG. Like they def connected with e/o at some point AND ITS NEVER EXPANDED ON.

Hotch: straight, cis

Morgan: straight, cis

Spencer: demi-romantic (maybe gray romantic), bisexual, trans ftm, autissy/adhd, OCS

Emily: lesbian, cis, bipolar

JJ: lesbian, I think

Penelope: pan, genderqueer (or trans fem. I like both headcanons). Auadhd.

Luke: bisexual, trans ftm (or cis, I don’t care), adhd, PTSD.

- Throughout season 1-2, Spencer had a few on and off relationships with guys and girls, but nothing really sticks until a guy he meets mid to late season 3. After dating for quite a while, this is the boyfriend that Reid shows everyone. Eventually they break up because the boyfriend has to move away because of a job, which then opens everything up for Maeve, and then later the boyfriend and Spencer reunite and become a thing again. Idk how it’d fully work out yet bc I’m only mid season six, so I’ll come back to this when I’ve watched more.

- ^^boyfriend could possibly be Ethan

- Spencer is sensitive to smells while Emily is sensitive to lights

- JJ + Hotch go to the park every week with Jack and Henry

- Penelope hangs up when Reid starts rambling and when he calls back he makes her apologize

- Emily tries to get Hotch get a cat but Hotch is terrified of Sergio

- Reid writes letters to Elle sometimes, but she never writes back :((

- Hotch and Rossi went to Bingo together

- Spencer writes letters to Alex everyday AND SHE ACTUALLY RESPONDS. they send each other obscure crosswords for the other to complete, and they keep in contact as much as possible.

- Hotch is very overprotective (this is fucking canon)

- Penelope got Derek into Taylor swift but he won’t admit it. JJ and Derek blast Taylor swift in the car together and Derek doesn’t let her tell ANYONE

- JJ is always cold and Emily gives her her sweater

- Reid babysits Henry all the time and Henry brags about him to his friends. Reid ended up meeting Henry’s friends when he attended one of Henry’s friend birthday parties to supervise and he was the main attraction.

- Reid lost Henry babysitting once. They were in a museum and Reid almost had a panic attack. Reid made Henry hold his hand whenever they were out in a big, public place after that.

- Elle was the first person Spencer ever came out to as trans (and then she left)

- Reid is a cuddly drunk (though after Tobias Hankel, his sobriety in all forms becomes very important to him, so it’s super super rare for him to drink at all. He usually only does it bc of peer pressure + to be seen as normal)

- Spencer gets overstimulated a lot and Morgan brings stim toys in his pocket to help him. Penelope’s cave is also like a sensory haven, and Spencer is welcome in there any time if things become too much.

- additionally, Spencer’s sensory issues become worse when he isn’t sleeping well (he’s so me core), and so if this becomes a problem, the couch in Hotch’s office is always up for grabs if Spencer needs it. Morgan’s office too, which he uses more often purely bc he doesn’t want to bug Hotch and Morgan is like a brother to him, so it’s fine annoying him all he wants.

- “I don’t have red flags. I have fun facts.”

- Reid turns into a fucking goofball when around Garcia and Morgan

- Garcia + Emily likes to buy Reid funky socks they find (he has two whole drawers dedicated to his socks)

- Spencer is the first to comment whenever one of the girls gets a new hair cut. They love it.

- Whenever Spencer wants to talk about nerdy things, he talks to Emily bc she’s usually genuinely interested in it

- Spencer has doctor who marathons with Penelope w cosplay and themed food! And when Luke joins the team, he joins them too.

- Spencer goes to JJ’s + Will whenever he feels lonely, and will often randomly call members of the team (usually JJ, Emily, or Penelope) if he feels like he needs to talk to someone.

- Spencer was scared of Hotch + Morgan when he first joined the BAU.

- [EARLY SEASONS] Derek is usually the one who seeks out Spencer—not bc Spencer doesn’t want to be around Derek, but bc Spencer doesn’t want to feel like a burden if he asks to hang out. In the later seasons, they do it mutually

- Spencer doesn’t mind the team calling him kid or treating him like a kid bc his parents never treated him as one as a child, so it’s nice.

- Spencer had to put medical grade insoles into his converse after he got shot in the knee bc wearing hard ass converse without them hurt like a bitch

- Season 15 Episode 4, the Mack Meet-Cute. Still happens in my silly Ralvez timeline, but they end up just being really good friends. When Mack asks him if this was some long set up, he’s like “uh, no um, you’re good there. I have a boyfriend actually.” and she’s like “oh, well, sorry. I didn’t know you were gay.” and he’s like “uh, I’m bi actually, but uh, wasn’t expecting you to know.” And then they start this robin + Steve thing.

- Spencer really likes Luke’s grey hairs. The first time he noticed them, he full stopped, staring and then kissed Luke senseless.

this is me promoting my fics again. I wrote a Ralvez fic and you should read it :))

- Spencer going on a rant about Galelio and the Church when a local police said that the church is on the side of the people or something. Does the same thing whenever someone brings up astrology: “did you know astrology isn’t based on any scientific facts? To be a scientific practice, it needs to go through rigorous testing and be able to adapt and change to new discoveries, but astrology hasn’t changed in 2000 years—“

- Spencer is amunocompromised after the anthrax incident, which he often forgets about. He will get a cold, and he’ll be like “meh it’s just a cold whateves”, go to work and then be like “this is absolutely the worst idea I’ve ever had wtf”

- Spencer often forgets he’s disabled. He’ll be doing smth, and then his disability will disable him and he’ll be like “oh yeah, forgot that was a thing”. Ie/ forgets he’s autistic until he has a shutdown in the middle of the workday, forgets he has knee problems until he has a flare up and can’t walk up stairs w/o his brace.

- In the first few years of his time at the BAU (age 22-25, two years before season 1-season 2), Derek always made fun of Spencer for not “getting some” or “going on any dates”, which annoyed Spencer to no end, and also hurt him a lot since Derek just assumed he was that unloveable/undesirable. In actuality, Spencer had gotten out of a really rough break up with Ethan right before he entered the BAU, and wasn’t looking for anything solid or long term, especially since he’s Demi-romantic, and then proceeded to get all messed up with Dilaudid. It wasn’t until years later when the two were talking about it, after Spencer had came out, that Spencer told Derek this and Derek felt awful.

- Spencer can’t eat fish anymore bc of Tobias Hankel burning it when he was kidnappped. The smell also makes him nauseous, doubled up with his sensitivity to smells, it’s awful for him. After some time, it’s a lot easier to bear when ppl around him are eating it, but it still takes him back there if he’s especially vulnerable. The team knows about this, whether it’s bc he told them or bc they picked up on it, so they avoid eating fish around him and they make sure to get him food that isn’t fish.

- Spencer can’t do INAPPROPRIATE THINGS on his knees bc it hurts too much, but still insists anyways and Luke has to be like “dude, there r other ways to do this” until Spencer concedes

- Garcia is usually the only privy to Spencer’s dating life. Well, he doesn’t have much of one, but when he dOES, she’s privy to it. It just happens when you’re one of the few queer and neurodivergent and some kind of aroace spec ppl on the team. Spencer doesn’t really share much about his dating life with the rest of the team, so Garcia is very proud of the fact that spencer chooses to confide in her and treasures it with the upmost honour. It’s one of the few things she can keep a secret about, mainly bc of how important it is to spencer. She is the first one to know when he starts seeing someone, and the person he texts to indulge in ice cream with when they break up (specifically with OC love interest). The only time this doesn’t happen is when Spencer starts seeing Luke, mainly bc Spencer is scared of how she’d react. When spencer does end up telling her, she’s deeply sorry and she cries and Spencer’s like it’s okay! It’s okay! It’s not that bad! And she’s like no it’s not okay! And they have a doctor who marathon the three of them to make up for it, where Penelope lightly shovel talks luke, but mostly apologises for how she treated him.

- Garcia listens to Electronic Music, Emily listens to Dubstep

- Garcia + Hotch have a Father/Daughter relationship

[lemonade-luvr]

I MEAN THATS AS FAR AS I KNOW. to be fair all i’ve heard abt it is You fucking hallucinate shit .thats literally it .

where the fuck did i get the idea you were having hallucinations then......... hmmm. however, i also dont get many hallucinations! at least not visual ones. im much more privy to tactile and auditory stuff!

im gonna infodump. autistic style. and if i accidentally desstroy your worldview, im so sorry. you have been warned.

IT GOT REALLY LONG SORRY FUCKKKKKKKK

schizophrenia is actually very similar to an autism diagnosis! at least from an outside perspective. it comes with flat tone and struggles with facial expressions and all that jazz! it can also make it really hard to think and leads to a very scattered mind??? idk how to describe it . because of the . well we call it brain scramble! i think its called something like word salad though.

the main defining thing about schizophrenia is the presence of psychosis, which is further defined by hallucinations, delusions and paranoia o^_^o

hallucinations CAN include seeing stuff that isnt there, though thats a really simple understanding of visual hallucinations. the visual hallucinations i tend to get are stuff in the corner of my eye and the walls kinda.. Shifting. nothing immediately distressing. but i know there are people with way more scarier things going on.

auditory hallucinations are something i experience a lot more, and theyre just.. hearin stuff that wasnt ever there. my brain loves the discord notification sound and like. splatoon sound effects. sometimes i hear someone yell the body's name!

there are also tactile hallucinations which is feeling a sensation that wasnt real. we get these ones the most. a good example isssss well rn im getting The Bugs. like buddy theres no bugs here you are feeling hair probably and yet even then i still feel it eugh eugh eugh. our headmates can make use of our tactile hallucinations to give me pats on the head though, which is nice o^_^o

delusions are simply believing something that isnt true wholeheartedly. i dont reallly like to share mine because im scared of people playing into them or thinking theyre cringe BUT i will share that we have fully believed ourselves to be in future london before. which is really fucking funny you are allowed to think this is funny. we are in the wrong country for that buddy. you can be fully aware that somethiing isnt true and still believe it! its fucked up! they should make that illegal. these are the mind killer i hate these little bastardsssssss... delusions are very versatile. its also like thinking mundane things are signs.... theres a lot to say on delusions.

paranoia is the one thats really easy to comprehend its just intense and unfounded anxiety. me when i overthink everything to death. me when everyone on the bus knows im gay.

also it makes it really hard to Word Shit. sometimes i cannot comprehend the english language despite it being the only one i fucking know. On that Topic. Sorry if this is Incomprehensible. i actually genuinely Cannot Tell. its usually fine but sometimes i just feel like i cant get ANYTHING across correctly.

impaired motor coordination is also a thing? which makes it hard for me to type sometimes and also do things like, idk, drink my monster energy without spilling it and pissing off charles. sorry charles. damn. UH theres also a lot of repetitive behaviours, and catatonia. it can come with memory issues and FATIGUE BIIIIITCH and BUDDY am i FEELING the fatigue today. AUGH AUGH AUGH.

oki think thats all i have to say on the matter unless u have questions

i feel so fucking nuts right now i dont know if its the rush of i just got to infodump or if im manic :sosonormal: <you are manic <thanks babygirl in my head. god i hope this is comprehensible

ONE TWENTY ONE GUNS 💥

[obeiii-mee]

Could I request the brothers (and maybe Diavolo, if you're comfortable) reacting to a knightly/chivalrous m/c, please?

———————————————————

I haven’t written Diavolo in a hot minute, I’m glad he’s being requested again. I’m guessing you mean an MC with the attributes of a knight? The same sort of mannerisms and traits and not an actual knight! MC? Lemme know if I did this ask wrong because I was low key confused lmao.

———————————————————

The Brothers + Diavolo with a knightly/chivalrous MC:

Lucifer:

-He really didn’t like you upon first meeting

-He hated how he couldn’t intimidate you into not being a nuisance the way he could with most of his brothers

-But, to be honest, you had gained his respect rather early on

-I think, even though it may have annoyed him to no end, Lucifer was very fond of your bravery a lot of the times

-The way you would stand up for Mammon or that time you protected Beel and Luke from his outburst

-Courage is not a trait one would usually associate with humans, especially when more superior beings like demons are involved

-Your humility was also a characteristic of yours that he, surprisingly, was really fond of

-And your overall mercifulness was something to be congratulated as well

-I mean, him and his brothers put you through so much shit and for you to forgive and move on without an angry word at any of them kinda speaks on its own

-I think he understands, to an extent, the reason you’re so loyal to the people you care about too

-He has a certain devotion for Lord Diavolo and his brothers, more than he lets on

-To him, having someone like you around is something to be appreciated

-Because you are similar but also completely different and nothing like he deemed you to be at the beginning

-yo i think you remind him of himself back when he was angel tbh

-He’s sort of tired of saving your ass tho because you are very just, so you feel the need to help people all the time which leads to you getting involved in fights

-Bring him his 20th cup of coffee for the day please, it’s hard being a single father of 8 children (yes I’ve added Lord Diavolo he counts as one of the kids)

-He’s the definition of this incorrect quote I stumbled across a while back

- MC: “FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW!”

-Lucifer, from behind them “ Do not.”

Mammon:

-Ok so this random human comes to DevilDom and has the audacity to slap his hand away while he’s trying to steal from Diavolo’s castle????????

-“MC ya’re forgetting I’m a demon, my moral scale is wayyy different than yours-“

-“Put it back.”

-“......ok.”

-You’re coming at him with rightfulness and honor and your presence is gonna hit him like a truck

-Cuz he ain’t stealing anything when you’re around (lucifer uses this to his advantage ofc.)

-That was basically the only thing he disliked about you

-Other than that, after your first week in DevilDom, he thinks you’re a goddamn S A I N T

-Everytime you stand up for him when his brothers are being assholes-pls he melts into a puddle of goo from your perfection

-OOFFS AND ALL THOSE TIMES YOU GAVE HIM GIFTS BECAUSE GENEROSITY BBY

-Good thing he was wearing sunglasses, because holy fuck was he weeping under those Gucci shades

-He’s gonna give ya props for having the courage to stand up to him and his brothers

-Lucifer especially because big bro scary

-Think about it like this: literally every single one of them could have you seasoned and roasted for lunch, love

-And yet you still have the bravery to look them in the eye and tell them: “Ya’ll are dysfunctional as fuck and need family therapy.”

-Again, he doesn’t understand your morale, he’s the Avatar of Greed, if he sees something he likes or seems worthy of his presence, he takes it

-But with that look you’re giving him, he honestly feels so guilty he can’t help but put it back

-He also appreciates your patience with him when it comes to anything that involves him talking about his emotions and thought process

-Because at this point he is widely known as scum so-

-Ahhhh, in the end, he thinks you’re pretty badass for a human and would low key want to see you in an armour of sorts agajwhisebhwjwwhehgdhdh

-And he really likes it when you make the effort to open doors for him too but he’ll never have the nerve to admit it

Levi:

-Believe it or not, he warms up to you in less than a day...?

-It’s probably because he’s a navy commander and he’s used to having soldiers around and you sort of remind him of that

-Out of everyone, he reacts the least when he sees how you carry yourself because to him it’s second nature

-Even if he does tend to slouch most of the time

-Almost dropped to his knees and started worshiping you when you yelled at Mammon to give Levi his money back on your first day

-And then a friendship started to blossom (im not friendzoning y’all, relax)

-Levi has a tendency to just walk into your room with his laptop, point at the screen which is paused in the middle of an anime and go “Look, the protagonist is a knight. You’re also...really knightly. I like the protagonist. I, uh I like you too, I guess.”

-He loves how honest you are because he knows that no matter what you wouldn’t lie to him

-“MC, do you think I’m a yucky otaku?”

-“No.”

-“But-“

-“No.”

-“Oh ok.”

-But on the inside he’s like 🥰🥰💞💞💞💞

-I just think that a knightly MC would connect on an emotional level with Levi for a lot of reasons, idk

-He’s gonna be a sputtering mess when he realises how much effort you put into this relationship (platonic or romantic) and how loyal you are to it

-Like how you actually bother learning all of his stupid passwords because you are just as serious about them as he is

-He just crashed, give him a moment to reboot please

Satan:

-He takes a while to warm up to you because for some reason your overall demeanour reminded him of Lucifer lol

-He thought you might be just as stuck up as him

-It didn’t take him longer than a week or so to come to the sudden realisation that you are way more pleasant than his brother

-Like his daddy, you manage to earn his respect pretty quickly after that

-He just thought the way you handled everything that was thrown at you in DevilDom was very sophisticated but firm nonetheless, if that makes sense?

-Like, you weren’t itching to escalate fights or anything but your tone of voice could easily end a whole conversation if need be

-You were still a human of course, it would be real easy for some low rank demon to kidnap you or something

-But for some reason, your confidence seemed to intimidate a few of the weaker ones into leaving you alone

-Obviously, that didn’t mean you were completely safe or anything

-There were still others that could effortlessly overpower you

-Even so, Satan found it sort of reassuring that unlike some humans, you weren’t one to back down without a confrontation

-Don’t get me started on all those times you rebelled against Lucifer, because that’s what truly got him to get to know you better

-He found you pretty interesting and then that interest sort of evolved into actual fondness

-Another thing that caught his eye was that even though you have very strong feelings about justice and fairness, you are completely level headed most of the time

-And patience, while it’s something he can manage, is the one that he has been trying to control for centuries

-He learned a lot from you about behaviour, whether you intentionally taught it to him or not

-And if there is one thing Satan thinks highly of; it would be knowledge

-Therefore, from that point onward, your existence was so much more precious to him than your soul could ever be

Asmo:

-What can I say about our sweet Asmo?

-You could have the personality of a trashcan and he’d still love you

-You were so polite and honourable from the beginning to the point you managed to get the attention of the Avata of Lust himself????

-He thought you were pretty hot basically

-hoWEVER

-Your righteousness always sort of nagged him because he low-key believed Diavolo snuck in another angel into the program, I-

-And for some reason, your loyalty to everyone in general ticked him off immensely at the beginning

-Mainly because he recognised that’s one of the traits he lacks entirely and he came to the conclusion that he needs to revaluate himself on that one

-He is so desperate for your attention, he will tattle on his brothers just to get you to yell at them and then comfort him

-“MCCCCC, MAMMON STOLE MY NEWEST MAKE UP KIT AND IS ABOUT TO SELL IT ON AKUZON!”

-he is so petty istg

-Your nobility still catches him off guard every now and then

-Because you’ve been living with demons for so long and yet you’re still, theoretically speaking, pure?? get your head out of the gutter people

-He probably applauds you on the fact that you can even scare Lucifer on some occasions because imagine having a scarier death glare than the eldest prince of hell

-Asmo will personally buy you clothes that he thinks suit your “aesthetic” (wtf Asmo)

-Might’ve bought you a sword and then got shouted at by Lucifer because oops turns out it was cursed

-Again, supportive mom vibes

-“MC, do you know how stunning you look strutting around with that confidence of yours? Don’t get me started on your posTURE!”

-You pulled a chair for him once and he practically swooned lmao

Beel:

-He figures you’re really nice from the start

-Mostly because you kept running errands and opening doors for him even though he let it slip that he might lose control and eat you

-Like most brothers, he finds you comforting in a way

-Beel appreciates your honesty to him too because he can count on you to tell him when he’s doing something wrong

-And he sort of needs the validation that even though he blames himself for a lot of things that took place in the past, his brothers and you are more than ready to forgive him (even if they didn’t blame him to begin with)

-Rather than respect, Beel puts a lot of trust into you, which I would believe to be more intimate

-If it’s just the two of you hanging out, he has an easier time opening up about Lilith because he knows you would never judge him and respect his feelings enough to let him get it out of his system

-You always share your food with him and give him a bigger portion and he goes so soft-

-Like who allowed you to be this generous?

-Tbh, he thinks it’s sort of refreshing having someone like you around

-Beel has been surrounded by demons for millenniums now and he’s gotten used to their...uh ‘evilness’

-Ever since you got dropped off in DevilDom, you really stood out with your nobility and morals

-It was like a breath of fresh air in a way

-He may or may not believe you’re a good influence on his siblings-if you can even influence demons of all things

-I’m not saying he invites you to work out with him and give him honest criticism, but he definitely invites you to work out with him and give him honest criticism

Belphie:

-“Out of all the humans they could’ve chosen, they picked the most annoying one, oH MY FUCKING GO-I MEAN DAD-“

-You go up to the attic that one night after tricking Lucifer into vibing to some classical TSL tunes

-He spotted you and was immediately irritated

-Like, he KNEW you were going to be a pain in the ass just by judging your posture and how you carried yourself (very knightly)

-At the start, he’s even hesitant to lie to you because he had a suspicion you wouldn’t buy his bs

-(Spoiler alert: you didn’t but you went with it either way)

-It takes a while for you to forgive him when he literally fucking kills you because that was rude af but you got over it in time

-AFTER of the whole ‘Sorry-for-choking-you-can-we-be-friends-now’ incident, you still get on his nerves a lot but at this point, he believes that’s his punishment for being a murderous dickhead

-You don’t really piss him off tho, you just confuse him a lot

-Why are you so polite? You keep pulling chairs and opening doors for him??? Why are you treating him like royalty?? Stop it, he doesn’t want to be like Lord Diavolo (he def likes it when you do that)

-Pls stop dragging the poor man to breakfast, he just wants to sleep in-

-He doesn’t understand how you’re always one time for everything

-My dude tries to wake up 20 minutes early to get somewhere in time and he is still 2 hours late

-sTOP TRYING TO FORCE YOUR IDEALS ONTO HIM, HE’S A LITTLE SHIT WHO ENJOYS WATCHING PEOPLE SUFFER

-All the same, you’re a very forgiving person so he’s just grateful you don’t hate him or anything

-And in the end, it doesn’t really matter how much your chivalry and righteousness and all of that pisses him off every now and then

-Because he can’t deny the fact that you brought him and his brothers the peace they needed

-And he so loves it when you and Lucifer go head to head mhmm

Diavolo:

-This big tittied man right here takes a liking to you immediately

-A couple of days in DevilDom and he’s already inviting you for tea at his castle

-You managed to befriend the prince of hell faster than the demons you live with, huh

-He’s lonely ok? He loves having people over and having cozy chitchats

-Not to mention he thinks you’re such pleasant company!

-Most demons would be afraid to even say anything in his presence but you always speak your mind while continuing to be respectful and he’s so happy, you don’t understand-

-Only demons in close relations to Diavolo like Babrbatos and Lucifer actually know how much it takes for someone to anger him

-He doesn’t take offence to much lol

-And he’s really content that you acknowledged that

-He sometimes visits you in his spare time just to talk and hang out since Lucifer is a big meanie who doesn’t want to indulge him and Barbatos is busy making him dinner >:(

-SPEAKING OF- if you and Barbatos don’t bond then i don’t know what to tell you

-I mean, you would both have so many things in common (strong sense of loyalty, honesty, just in a way etc.)

-You’re his favourite guest to have over at the palace, sorry Luci you’ve been replaced

-He genuinely finds you interesting as well so please tell him stories from the human realm!! He’s dying to learn more!

-Diavolo notices you demeanour sort of gives off warrior vibes so-

-He really considered making you into a knight bc it’s Diavolo-what he says; goes

-“I know they’re human but they’ll be fine. Look how tough they are! They managed to survive a year with you and your brothers didn’t they?”

-“My Lord, that doesn’t amount to anything, please don’t get our human killed-“

[vegalocity]

AU idea based off the fact that MK's age is unknown- Xiaotian is Wukong's son and before everything fell apart, he and Red Boy were childhood sweethearts. And now, for reasons, neither really remember each other but are drawn to each other.

okay this is really interesting to me because this feels like it could be one of those AUs that technically plays with canon but doesn't subvert it like a normal AU

Like, One would think that maybe Red Son would remember after all it was Xiaotian's fucking father that sealed his father away, but if they BOTH don't really remember eachother lets take it a step farther-

(under a cut bc i got carried away bc i speant like all shift today thinking about this)

Let's say that neither of them remember their own childhoods at all. Idk how or why, thats not the point, but if we run with this, then we can assume Xiaotian grew up on FFM, but after a certain point left for the city, maybe since he's just.. way more extroverted than his dad he just wanted to be around people other than the monkeys, and bc... you know... reasonsTM he's been keeping his relationship with Wukong secret. Also it's fun to hear how the stories that were some of his favorites of his dad's adventures ended up remembered by others. And he's not sure if Tang's research was a flawed history or his dad embellished a bit more to entertain him as a child, or maybe both, but some of these stories as Tang tells them are VERY different.

But it's then, when he's living alone and always out and about on deliveries something-... happens... something mysterious and-

Suddenly he can't really remember much about a time before he moved in to the little loft above Pigsy's shop.

And the letters (emails) keeping Wukong updated stop coming. He considers finally giving in and getting a cellphone to call his damn kid and ask if he's alright, but Xiaotian never answers his phone for unknown numbers- Is- is something wrong? Is he in trouble?...Maybe he'll just pop into the city real quick in disguise, just to be certain, and if there's not a problem he can laugh to himself about being paranoid and then come to visit properly-

And maybe just to check up on it, peek in on his staff to make sure everything's still in place.

And then Red Boy was there, holding some machine apparatus to his. damn. staff. and taking readings, writing down whatever he's got and muttering to himself about 'the plan' and Red Boy--certainly no longer a boy much like how his own son had become a man, was planning something.

blah blah blah the pilot happens but whoops this time canon is like EXTREMELY sad through Wukong's perspective bc his OWN FUCKING KID somehow FORGOT ABOUT BEING HIS KID?! WHAT THE FUCK?! and he'd TRIED getting him back on his own but that did nothing, and then he'd faced LBD again and she said that thing 'the memory of you' and... yeah that context would make this whole thing like WAY scarier lol

ANYWAY SO SEASON 3 ROLLS ALONG AND RED SON IS PLOT RELEVANT AGAIN

And maybe it's just brought up breifly, just simply while the lot of them were chillin around the dinner table, Xiaojiao tells this hilarious story of her childhood involving a bee, a sequoia tree and several gallons of applesauce, and asks Red Son if he's got any crazy stories like that, and he says very bluntly 'I can't remember Jack shit from my childhood.' Xiaotian over here like 'Big mood' Sun Wukong exits as quickly as he can without it looking sus (-insert subplot ship here-)

And here's the thing, now that they're not trying to fight eachother it's easy to get comfy around eachother. Too easy. Like suspiciously easy. Like 'I had multiple naptimes beside you for the majority of my younger years and by that logic when we're not actively enemies i trust you implicitly' easy

Memory seems to come up a lot on their search for the weapon, and whenever that heppans the others seem to carry the missions, leaving Xiaotian and Red Son constantly feeling useless, and its starting to get really REALLY upsetting, so Red Son just huffs, and approached Xiaotian's bunk one day like 'It's odd right? That you and I have the exact same sort of memory problems, and we have both been in contact the most with LBD other than Wukong is it possible that these events are all related?'

so they start working to try and figure out what it was they'd both forgotten.

[flowers-of-io]

@eri-223​ you brought it upon yourself, now I won’t shut up c:

OKAY SO

I can’t really draw neat straight lines between the two, but there’s so much aesthetic similarity to me, particularly with Toland and the Hive-Ascendancy thing. Maybe it’s just me dying for the vibes (or loving POTO in general since I was 9), but it struck me today how Eris/Toland--when it’s made a Working ship--is basically everything Christine/Erik is not. There is so much to be said about Christine/Erik alone, but to me it’s an epitome of why gothic-novel-esque dynamics don’t really work in the long run when they don’t move past being just Gothic and Tragic. And hear me out. A goodhearted, elfin woman at her vulnerable point (grief over father) meets a honey-voiced stranger and has this secret thing with him, this music they share in the dead of night, and it’s intoxicating because music *is* her passion (and something she has deep emotions over in itself, the thing that is most hers in the world) and it’s secret, and a whole other world to what she’s facing in the daytime. The mystery is intriguing, and that’s intoxicating too. And there’s an uncomfortable power imbalance but it doesn’t bother you just yet, because there isn’t really any attraction between the two--not in the romantic-as-in-love sense at least, rather this romantic-as-in-romanticism pull all dark beautiful secret things have.

And here we can shout a fucking thank you at Erik for completely ruining that beauty by being an absolute creep. But Chrissie doesn’t know that yet. And so he leads her deep down into the dark, into his world of darkness and secrecy and yet twisted beauty, and she is living the mystery now, she’s in this nighttime world they would share in secret. And she’s close enough to take a peek behind the mask, something she was so violently curious about and attracted to, a glance into the dark abyss of his soul that is so intriguing. And so she does peek, and what she finds is terrifying rot.

And this, THIS is the best moment of the entire thing to me. This story could be well off without Raoul (whom I deeply love and cherish but he ruins the gothic) because he adds this romantic tension of a love triangle (which I absolutely loathe because ugh. love triangles.) to what could have been a tale of a girl torn between the world of day and night rather than two men who each love her in a different way. There’s so much of Persephone-sque struggle in Christine’s soul that has been shunned by the story imo, and would have made the whole thing better in the long run (and maybe less grossly-abusive on Erik’s part).

So let’s circle back to Toland, another pale, bony, possibly disfigured brunet in a dark coat with a living room full of skulls and candles (the vibes, huh. he probably owned a boat and a horse too). If we take Eris/Toland as starting off before the Hellmouth (I’m really starting to tentatively test my ground on this hhhng), it feels like the same story slightly to the left. Granted, Eris has more agency, but there’s still a huge power imbalance in her and Eriana coming to Toland--an exiled genius|madman with an evil black crow (Guren) perching on his shoulder--and asking him for help, laying their and their team’s lives at his feet - him, who could probably kill them in seventeen different yet equally fancy ways were he more invested! And there is so much darkness here already because how dark it must have been in Eris’ soul to agree on this revenge fantasy, what an abyss Eriana’s eyes must have been hiding; how desperate they must have been to come to him, to even consider this, to choose a possibility of painful, screaming agony in the Hellmouth over the ache they were feeling now. And so there’s vulnerability, too, in a way - because they’re desperate, because they’re hurting, because everything has been taken from them and they have nothing else to do but this ridiculous, mad plan. And oh he can abuse this void, he can make them do whatever he wants and they’d do it gladly, and I have a feeling both Eris and Eriana are aware of that.

And so they work, in secret, cracking secrets of the Hive, tasting the rot of the forbidden fruit, hiding from the daylight with their dark, heretic, nighttime folly. I think there is a threshold at wherever it is they are meeting--be it a room or a house, Eriana’s kitchen or Toland’s disturbing “lab”--in the doorway, between the bright but empty world of patrols and strikes and dead friends and this horrid, twisted, yet fascinating realm of promised vengeance. And I think Eris learns, hungry for secrets, hungry perhaps for Toland’s eyes on her because all dark beautiful secret things have a pull, and she can’t tell if she’s more drunk on the adventure, or the heresy they’re so blatantly committing, or him. And maybe he reciprocates in his own twisted way, maybe they talk or kiss over the parchment pages, and she cannot tell--she cannot tell if his eyes are truly for her or the Hive, the mystery, the thing they’re doing. I’m thinking of what you wrote, how “he wanted Ascendance as badly as she wanted him”. But despite that--or maybe because of it--she allows herself to be led deep down into the dark, into his world of darkness and secrecy and yet twisted beauty, and she is living the mystery now, she’s in this nighttime world they would share in secret. Is it the Hellmouth? Maybe, though I think it’s a process that spans between their secret studies of the Hive and the midst of their descent, when Vell is dead and maybe they’re all doomed, and Toland’s eyes twinkle in the dark and it’s such beautiful madness she cannot help staring. And the checkpoint has come, time to show cards--and she’s close enough to take a peek behind the mask, something she was so violently curious about and attracted to, a glance into the dark abyss of his soul that was so intriguing. And so she does peek, and what she finds is terrifying rot.

I think this is Ir Yut, or maybe a little bit earlier, but nevertheless the bubble bursts and Eris is left in the dark alone and betrayed. That’s of little concern, of course, when the Hive is hunting you down and all you hear is your friends’ dying screams, but it still hurts, it’s still bitter, it’s still so, so wrong. I like to think he comes to teach her then, maybe give her the journals, and it’s a whirlwind of madness and horror and fury and gore, but he’s whatever comfort she can hope for at this point. It’s twisted, it’s awful, it’s dark-gothic rotten, it’s as wrong and horrid as Erik/Christine is as a whole.

But then they’re given the chance Erik/Christine never got. They’re allowed to outgrow the rot. There’s so much dysfunctionality and disturb going on in most gothic-esque “love” stories because it’s not love, it’s attraction taken for a spin and often grossly abused. Love is growth. I like to think of what must have been going on in Eris’ head (and Toland’s too, perhaps, though I doubt he had one at that point) when they were exchanging the letters, the dearest Eris right next to did you watch me carve out each eye; now that she’s wiser, and scarred, and not so stupid anymore--but there’s still that dark pull she can’t help, now even scarier than before that she knows him for what he really is, now that she’s seen the rot. There’s so much hurt to be outgrown, so much betrayal, but she finds he’s yet again whatever comfort she can hope for (that entry *is* called A Light In The Darkness, huh). I could wax poetic about this whole process but I think you captured it so well in STM I don’t have much else to add.

I wanted to throw quotes into it but couldn’t quite fit them into this, uh, essay (which I didn’t absolutely re-read), and I guess Music of the Night would apply here but it’s ripe with uncomfortable sexual tension?? And aside from that (which is in its entirety a trip) just consider these ah

this whole moment

also this

He'll always be there singing songs in my head  Is this Eris in the letters phase? maybe. I performed a vibe check and it showed positive

Wandering Child for how unhealthy-twisted and beautiful it is (ignore Raoul, I have no metaphor for him in this au)

For either way you choose, you cannot win  It’s just a good quote y’all

Farewell my fallen idol and false friend / We had such hopes, and now those hopes are shattered 

Angel of Music, you deceived me / I gave you my mind blindly  (HOW SHE WHISPERS THAT LAST PART IN THE MOVIE OK)

Stranger than you dreamt it  now you’re stranded in the Hellmouth good job

What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn / Beyond the point of no return

The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn

Down that path into darkness deep as hell  but Toland smiles while he sings this

And of course the classic,  And in this labyrinth where night is blind / The Phantom of the Opera is here inside my mind

Wow! I didn’t even get to the Dreaming City! It’s way more vague than the whole Eris/Toland thing because of course ships take up 80% of my brainspace but idk I just find it so incredibly fitting when it comes to paralleling Savathun/Dul Incaru terrorising the Dreaming City with what Erik does to the opera. Like, everybody knows he’s There but no one can do anything about it, he sends vague threats and kills people but nobody can catch him, and the place is just a giant playground for him to have fun and achieve his personal goals in. And whatever the hell is going on in Masquerade, like

Masquerade! Seething shadows breathing lies Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you Masquerade! Leering satyrs, peering eyes Masquerade! Run and hide, but a face will still pursue you

wow that sure is subtle. Seething shadows breathing lies, huh. Run and hide, but a face will still pursue you :) And then he crashes the party in a fucking Red Death costume. If this doesn’t have huge Dul Incaru/Siren of Riven energy I don’t know what has.

And of course the shitshow only starts when we kill Riven but the seeds have been planted long, long ago. If you listen closely, you can hear Petra screaming in confusion somewhere under box five.

I know most of this second part is a stretch, BUT! this is my au. And for the record, I know there are very mixed feeling about the 2004 POTO movie but to me personally it was a formative experience, first watched on a very crappy TV in music class at the age of 9 and not even in its entirety, but I was already captivated and shaken to the core, and there’s still, after all those years, something that screams at my soul when I hear the first notes.

And, as a treat for those who suffered with me until the end of this essay,

[mariaantonnietta]

Okay, the promised is debt.let"s talk about Gintaka moments!!!

I said a long time ago I was gonna do a compilation of Gintaka/Takagin moments. And I will deliver right now! (op skimmed the jp twitter and is excited/can’t wait to see the movie )

Ok, no, this will be mostly my disorganized headcanons, moments where I can see the ship with my shipper googles on, some paralels? Haha, honestly just to show the ship some love!!!

It’s also my perspective on why I love this ship!!

Of course, I'm going to talk about all the series and go back and fort, so there’s going to be spoilers all around, so if you have not seen the manga end, best skip it.

The rest is under the cut, let’s go!!!!!

So, I started shipping  Gintaka/Takagin  after the Shougun Assasination arc, best  strangled friends story I have ever seen.  I like a lot of Gintoki ships, but it became my favourite really fast. Then, looking back, I noticed these haha:

the first meeting in the show (ep 17). I know it was threatening, but watching it again the fireworks exploded over their heads as they met.Isn’t that  a romantic troupe? (and also in this scene makes Takasugi face scarier, haha). And also how Gintoki stopped Takasugi blade, so obvious for point one that they knew each other.(the interactions here are so painful in retrospective 'When his father saw his son's head, imagine the rage he felt?😭')

(and then there’s also , in the extra episode where the yoroyuza go to China, they help a poor dude with his first date with a girl, and Gintoki comments how the first date  should have fireworks, haha, at the time there were some images on pixiv of child Gintoki and child Takasugi seeing the fireworks together, it was so lovely, good headcanon!)

There's the Senbonsakura arc, and Takasugi appearing at the reunion scene looking at the moon, woah (there's also them crossing paths, but that's more dramatic of the ideologies maybe, still this a shipping post so ' them crossing paths there, the athmosphere of fated (rivals) people!!!')

( ‘They both had sad eyes’)

I like how even as they are different their core is the same, even if not these character are so raw together in their feelings

Let's talk about the movies for a moment: in the movie version of the Benizakura arc, Gintoki dreams with Takasugi, and IDK, but for how haunting it is, it also feels intimate, and that makes it hurt most.

About the second movie when we saw it we didn't know what the hell happened to Takasugi, but looking back he's dead by that time....maybe. (why didn't you give us a clear answer at the end sorachi).Okay but for practical purposes of what the cast knows he's dead (maybe...ahhh let's says it's like that) and well, haha, gintoki of the future dying looking at the sunset haha don't think of him daydreaming things.(When I saw the movie I had the impression that takasugi was dead, for both katsura clothes that are not called as a joke, and future gintoki 'the only one that can kill me is me', if takasugi was alive, he wouldn't let gintoki claim that so hypotrically, that's what I believed.)

There's the mini arc of the underseas dragon palace, (I remembered this one because of takasugi 'monster' form) I'm just gonna said that even if I read too much into ot there are some interesting paralels maaaaaybe, this one is a strech.

Talking about far fetched things, you people remember the Love Chorris arc? The one with the virtual girlfriends game? I think I am not the first person to point this out, but if you analyze Gintoki girl:

Gintoki selects her and (accidentally)kills her son.After that, she is bend of killing him in return in revenge. With his son corpse at her back to haunt him too.

She later confesses to him that she knew he wasn't at fault for her sons death, and that she focused on blaming him to be able to handle the pain, that she's grateful of Gintoki for understanding this.

The spirit of her son aproves their relashionship.

Now tell me this doesn't remain you of someone in particular and his relashionship with gintoki. And this is gintoki mind perspective and hopes, and fears.

(Well it probably isn't that deep, its the chorris arc, but still)

The way you can see Sakamoto’ jokes as a friend teasing because he knows they like each other. The fight when they to a red district gaining another lining.

The rajuko arc, when they exchanged blades to save the other newfound friends/family. The fucking red string of blood that they form together.

In the manga there was the famous saying attributted to takasugi historical counterpart :

'I want to kill all crows in the three thousand world, and sleep in with my heart's master'

This if I remember correctly because crows caw mark the morning, and in a brothel you have to leave.

So the meaning is ' I want to kill all crows in three thousand worlds(so that morning never comes) and sleep/stay in (forever) with my heart' master'

(Of course this could refer to shouyo, but it could be about gintoki, they go directly to meet the other)

It's a famous saying used in songs, I believe.

The part when he doesn’t want to see more rain, its of course because seeing gintoki's crying was imprinted in his mind for so long and influenced how he thinks. He is so important to him!!

And of course the final arc, where they are more open to each other,(the strangled friends are so happy to be together again) both Takasugi who finally let go of that 'burn the world down' and of Gintoki that walks besides him. The way Gintoki looks at Takasugi with a soft expression on his eyes. Matako ' I have never seen before Shinsuke sama with those eyes, I couldn't stop them'

The Glorious Days ending, that's when one (me) realises, 'oh ... this two care about each other and want to save the other' and while it isnt surprising for Gin, it was for Takasugi at the time.Rewatch the openings and endings in general, and see Takasugi place in them. IDK, he is usually the last alone waiting under the moon. And it gets me...cant really explain that.

The radio call, how we couldn’t see gintoki's initial reaction as Takasugi talked to him, gintoki even pretending not knowing (painfully bad) he didn’t know the other voice.

And of course the myriad moments in the final arc, Gintoki promply saying he is the one he wants to protect, the death sequence 'maybe we were just born under that kind of (tragic) star'

Gintoki teading takasugi that his parents would cry if they see the delincuent he is bringing home 🤣🤣.

Fuck, in the spin off Takasugi as a student novel, when he and Gintoki meet they can't keep the skit up, they talk directly to each other.

Also about the special episode, there's another...uh this is more of a paralel, and purely a headcanon, but here it goes: the yorozuya meet with kamui while trying to help a woman about her mother setting her up in blind dates, and in one moment she starts mothering both kamui and kagura and they get, well their eyes are animated different in that moment, and then they start listening to her. They were probably remainded of their own mother. And then I realised that I have seen Kamui make those eyes before (I will look for a pic, it's a very distintive shift), when talking to Takasugi. Is in one op too.

Of course the childhood friends dynamic. Regardless of nature, nobdy can deny the deep connection these two have.

(Here's the image from the op, is less obvios in the ep I think...or I'm overthinking, that's more possible)

Here’s Kamui and Kagura’s eyes when tehy get scold by the mother:

(I’m not crazy, they are similar XD Maybe XD)

I remember thinking to myself at the time 'woah, Kamui shows a admiring expression with takasugi somentimes' and now I fully believe is a childlike more like expression because takasugi reminds him of his mother(subconsiously). I can see the resemblance, especially towards the end of the series. As Gintoki and Umibozuo paralel too(both of them act like Kagura's dads) I just....haha parallel things.

There's a hundred things more, I'm sure I'm forgetting some (may add in a reblog after). All their fucking dialogue with each other is so intense. I I just love this ship sooo much

Totally up to talk about this ship if someone wants to!!

[foulserpent]

SHORT HORROR WRITING TIPS?

i got a couple people asking what my horror tips are bc i mentioned having what i think is a pretty good perspective on this, so here you go.

make note that i am not claiming any of these to always be better than other options, or that my way is the only way to write a good story. and also am not claiming that my own writing is phenomenal lol. these are just things to think about

the less descriptive is sometimes the better. the monster that the reader imagines in their head will always be scarier than anything you can describe, so just avoid exhaustive detail when describing the horror elements. play with describing just enough to get your point across, but not enough to limit the readers imagination too much.

this not only goes for the detail of the writing itself, but also limiting how much you explain. YOU should know whats going on, but explaining the events or providing any one obvious solution that ties everything together makes it less impactful. 

heres an example of a good VERY minimal description (from search and rescue woods)

here they dont say like “before snapping in half at the waist with a sudden jerking motion, and leaping off the peak. They fell, intestines dragging behind them like streamers, and the young man didn’t see where they landed.”. while it would still be a scary scenario to imagine, it leaves you with fewer questions than the limited description does.

not everything has to be as minimalist as that and not describing Enough can cause problems too. also please dont do “my mind couldnt comprehend it” to cheat your way out of describing things lol

experiment with surreality and things that verge on humorous. a lot of the times, the scares that stay with you longest are things that would be funny in other contexts. both horror and humor often rely on a sense of wrongness, and utilizing that rather than being afraid to step outside the bounds of Exclusively Scary can make for more interesting stories.

this is a good example of a semi-humorous situation. a guy back flipping through the woods could be really funny, but the context places you in the shoes of the witness where it becomes pretty alarming. someone backflipping towards you is not an obvious and immediate threat in the way a killer holding a knife or a scary monster with sharp teeth is, but it is so utterly Wrong in this context that it is far more unsettling than either of those

(the above is also a great example of writing a person telling the story in a naturalistic way.) 

if your story exists in the form of dialogue (ie one character recounting a mysterious event to another verbally), please actually write it like dialogue. the voice of this dialogue should be the characters voice, not the same level of descriptiveness as a 3rd person narration. i am strongly biased towards naturalistic dialogue in general but i think it is near-VITAL in horror, unless the point is using unnatural dialogue AS something intentionally unnatural and frightening.

like in the above, if the guy speaking instead said “There was a man approaching me, but he was back-flipping. He moved in a series of uncannily graceful whirls in one continuous motion, dancing effortlessly over every log and bush in his path” that would be fucking weird bc no one talks like that. it completely destroys the readers immersion if they consciously make note of it. it sounds especially weird being narrated (please read all your dialogue out loud lol)

dialogue has unique strengths, in the case of horror adding a lot of legitimacy to the story when used naturalistically. like an element of immersion. taking the tool of dialogue and using it in the same way you use narration is like taking a screwdriver and trying to use it as a hammer. if your INTENTION is to do that, then by all means do, but if its not then youre killing your effectiveness.

this also goes for anything else other than narration. like if you choose to include a newspaper article, WRITE IT LIKE A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE!! it adds a feeling of legitimacy and the dry and basic writing of an article can actually add to the creepy factor due to its unique formar and perspective if you choose to include a note someone wrote as fast as they could before getting kiled, WRITE IT LIKE THAT! if you want to use lots of adjectives and rich description then why the hell are you choosing to use plot vehicles entirely counterproductive to that?????

for a bonus heres tropes i hate and that always bother me and they absolutely CAN be done well but theyre usually bad and i cant stand them

-having a premise that your character is hurriedly writing this story with the threat of death closing in at any second. this kills all believability. especially if they begin with like “i dont have much time” and then the story is the most long winded purple prose-y shit ever

-fakeout endings where the story is pretty well wrapped up but then you end with “but lately.. ive been hearing scratching on my door again” implying oooooh its going to happen all over again, which like. idk it kind of nerfs any impact of the ending and tends to be frustrating instead of horrifying

-using the phrase “unnaturally wide” “unnaturally long” etc to describe your fucked up rake knockoff’s body . enough with the unnaturally wide smiles they arent scary

-the focus on smiling in of itself (even when not ‘unnaturally wide’) annoys me bc a lot of the time it ruins any tension by humanizing its monster. like if a creature has been stalking the narrator the whole time and then you describe it making an evil grin or whatever then its just like POOF all ambiguity gone its basically just an evil serial killer who likes inflicting pain. its TOO human. theres no mystery

-in general, your protagonist being stuck in a situation that can only happen from them being stupid and getting unusually involved in shit that doesnt concern them makes things less compelling for me. 

like i just listened to some creepy pasa reading that starts out like “oh i wonder what would have happened if i had simply turned right and not left” and it makes you think the story is going to be about pure coincidental horror that comes from being at the wrong place at the wrong time but then the scary event happens because the narrator 1) stops to investigate a random car stopped on a dark country road 2) gets out of their car to investigate 3) goes over to the car and looks into the car and around it 4) sees a stuffed toy on the ground near the stopped car and decides that means a child must have left it there and must still be out there 5) decides its up to them to help, doesnt even attempt to call anyone about it 6) decides to go into the FUCKING WOODS

like thats not a coincidence or a “what if i had only just turned right” thing thats you going out of your way to get killed

[vanishingpod]

Sunday Audio Drama Recs!

Happy Sunday from Team Vanishing Act! Here are four more shows we love that we think you will love too! 

1) Death By Dying: This show is an all time Hall of Fame favorite round these parts (these parts being our hearts? I guess, idk, lost the trail of that metaphor). Death By Dying is about the Obituary Writer in a small town, and every episode is centered around an obituary he is writing (or will write by the end of the episode). There is literally nothing we don’t love about this show, from it’s dark, wry tone to its hilarious worldbuilding to its genuine creepiness to its ability to turn on a dime from silly to genuinely melancholic and deeply touching. There are so many memorable characters (the Button-Eyed Raven, the Slapper, Pastor Jeff) and bits (the apricot battle in the town market, OW’s immaculate fashion sense, Gert, the line “he wasn’t the talk of the town, but he was the talker of the town”) Over the course of the five main-plot episodes it goes on a truly, insanely well-crafted journey with one of those tone shifts in the last act that feels at once like a huge twist but also inevitable and right. It reminds me so much of Over the Garden Wall in its final episode and I mean that in the best way possible--spooky and dark but also oddly comforting, existentially sad but also life affirming and hopeful. This show means a lot to us here and we hope you’ll give it a shot. Find them @deathbydyingpod​

2) Windfall: Alright it’s acton-adventure time, y’all! This show has it all: a full, sweeping instrumental score; a sprawling large-cast fantasy/sci-fi action adventure vibe; reluctant, flawed, morally grey heroes; saying “fuck capitalism”; intricate, lived-in worldbuilding; some of the best voice talent out there; etc etc etc. The show takes place in the nation of Windfall--ever since a castle appeared in the sky, the city has been built upward towards it rather than out, and in a sort of vertical Snowpiercer move, the wealthy live further up, with the poorer classes down below. Our protagonists are a series of “grounders” who get tangled up with the business going on upstairs when one of their own is recruited into the military police (the Wolfpac), creating ripples among our cast that force them to decide where they stand. It’s a grand adventure in every sense told incredibly well--the writing on this show is some of the best you’ll find out there in audio drama and it’s executed in a fantastically immersive way that I hope will sweep you away like it did to me. (Not on tumblr, but find them on twitter here.)

3) Palimpsest: Gothic, atmospheric, psychological anthology fiction fans, this one is 100% gonna be for you. The first season of Palimpsest tells the story of Anneliese, who records an audio diary as she moves into a new house after a breakup, still dealing with the death of her sister--the story is very much a slow burn tale of Anneliese being haunted by the memories of the house, but also bringing her own haunting to the house. Horror stories like this need to be threaded so carefully--they have to keep that slow simmer at just the right level to feel like it could bubble over at any moment, and they have to know when to let it loose. Palimpsest knows what its doing, and rest assured you’re in good hands--trust these fantastic creators. As mentioned, its an anthology series, with a different setting and protagonist each season (season two is set in the 19th century, season three during the Blitz in London), with a common thread connecting them all, so choose what appeals to you! (Not on tumblr but find them on Twitter here.)

4) The Magnus Archives: I almost definitely don’t need to sell this here, it’s fantastic and has deserved love and acclaim--but we do love it and want to shout out what we love about it! We started listening around Halloween of last year and shot through two seasons in a very short period of time. If you want that perfect marriage of horror anthology and overarching slow build narrative, this is really the perfect example. The first season eases you in to the general concept with one-off stories of various people’s experiences with the supernatural entities, which they report to The Magnus Institute--these reports are read aloud by the Archivist, who we get to know personally as time goes on and he becomes less and less skeptical and more and more entangled with said supernatural entities. You, the listener, start to slowly hear commonalities, you hear names come up that you’ve heard before and recognize similar experiences from subject to subject, and the show trusts you to piece these together yourself early on, to be an active part of the narrative alongside Jon. It makes it feel like such an interactive, immersive, addictive experience, and you want to keep listening because you don’t want to lose track of the threads you’re connecting. Even when you don’t know the characters who work for the Archives that well yet, the stories are genuinely scary (the cave diving episode in particular is true Nightmare Fuel and an excellent stand-alone horror story), and when you do get to know them, it’s even scarier because you care about them getting caught up in this terrifying world where there are no rules of fairness and true evil runs free. (Also there’s a whole meta-narrative about how it feels to be a millennial stuck in a job you hate that actively seems to be set out to kill you in horrible ways and it. is. RELATABLE.) (Don’t think they’re on tumblr, but find them on Twitter here.)

If you love these shows, please consider leaving them a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser so they can get the word out to more potential listeners!

Previous recommendation posts: one, two, three, four, five, six. 

[cosmonaughtt]

hitch-hiker (steven universe future/dannny phantom crossover)

ao3

Danny's lost, thanks to the help of another ghost patrol gone wrong. Luckily he finds a kind driver who's willing to take him to the next town. But is this driver just as "normal" as he is?

Hitchhiking was NOT the way that Danny wanted to get back to Amity Park, but he was left with it as his only option, because;

1. He was exhausted. His powers could still work, sure, but he didn’t want to risk trying to fly back home, transforming back mid-flight and taking a tumble to the earth, and

2. He didn’t know where he was and what direction he had to go to in order to find his way home.

Danny tried to pull out his phone and check its signal; no luck. It wasn’t a dead-zone, but his phone was dead. Hah. Funny.

What did he have on hand? Well, he always had the thermos on hand, in his other form. He had his phone and a wallet. And that’s it.

Just his luck. 

He sent a few texts out to the ghost hunting group chat. They wouldn’t send until he had some kind of connection again, probably, but it eased his heart to 

And. And, to top it all off for his current situation, he hadn’t even found the damn ghost he’d been fighting originally! Stupid Skulker. The wild chase (of which Danny was, unfortunately, hunted again) took him back through the Ghost Zone and out through a random door. 

Which led him to this current moment. Standing on the side of the road trying to catch a lucky ride to the next town to figure out how long it’ll take to fly home.

The road was pretty empty. It was inching closer to midnight by then, and he was probably going to have to transform to try and get at least to the next town where he can break into a motel and catch up on a little bit of sleep before trying to get home.

Damn his luck. 

Danny glanced at his phone again. Now it was midnight. Hopefully, his messages would send in soon, but he was going to give it until… 12:20 until he gave in and flew. Try and recover some energy so he wouldn’t suddenly decide night-time sky diving sounds a lot of fun in the middle of nowhere. 

12:01.

12:02. 

12:04.

12:10.

The sound of a car’s engine brought Danny up from the crude drawing he was doing in the dirt by his feet. He stood, and glanced down the road. A single car, brights on, was making its leisurely way down the road.

Danny stuck his hand out and waved. Please, please, please…

To his luck (thankfully), the car slowed down as it neared him. It was a compact Dondai of sorts, but Danny never paid much attention to the different kinds of cars. He had to think of more important things, like the different kinds of ghosts. 

The passenger side window rolled down to reveal the driver.

Who looked not much older than him.

“Hey, are you okay?” The kid asked, quirking an eyebrow. He looked really young, but maybe it was bad genetics. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m good. Could I get a ride, though?”

The boy didn’t look immediately distrustful of Danny, at least. He even smiled and nodded. “Sure! Hop on in!”

The passenger side unlocked with a click-- it was one of the older cars, where you had to manually roll down the windows and had a cassette deck, but other than that you couldn’t tell. It was really nice inside, and Danny jumped into the plush seat and smiled at the driver.

“I’m Steven, your humble new chauffeur.” He introduced, with a cheeky wink. 

“Thanks. I’m Danny.”

“It’s good to meet you. Where are you heading to?”

“I just need to get to the next town. Do you know how far that is?”

Steven thought for a moment, before leaning over to Danny’s side and pulling out a map. Really off-road, but then again, Danny didn’t have any service, so the odds that Steven had some were slim as well. He didn’t bother turning on any lights in the car to read the map, but it only took him a minute to figure it all out. “An hour or so, I’d say. If I’m doing the math right.”

“I’ve got a C minus in math, I doubt I’d be much help,” Danny said. “Is that on your way? If it isn’t, I can try and--”

“No, it’s fine!” Steven interjected. “I’ll probably gas up there, and probably rent out a room to sleep.” He laughed nervously. “All buckled up?”

Danny nodded.

And off they went.

…

….

…… It was weird.

It only took a few minutes of being in this stranger’s car to realize how weird this situation was.

He was in the car with a boy, probably barely a year older than him. In the middle of nowhere. In the middle of the night. It was not some horror movie concept (and frankly, Danny hadn’t been scared by one of those in months after all the shit he’s been through), but it was just. Really, really, really weird. 

Steven hadn’t asked why Danny was out in the middle of nowhere. He hadn’t asked Danny’s full name, he had provided his own and hadn’t hounded Danny with any questions. He also didn’t explain much about why he was out in the middle of nowhere, either, just driving in the middle of the night.

Maybe not all things needed answers. 

“Do you mind music?”

Danny shook his head. He’d be listening to his own music, had he not broken his earbuds in the latest fight with Technus. He was going to get more tomorrow, since it was officially a weekend and he and his friends could go to the mall and he could buy them, hopefully without any fights along the way. 

“Sadie Killer and the Suspects cool?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Sam had gone through a brief time of being obsessed with that band, and when she showed Danny the music he had to admit, it wasn’t that bad. 

Steven reached into the compartment by his arm and pulled out an old cassette, switching the one that had previously been in it with the new one with seasoned ease. 

Disobedient. Hm.

Again, another pause of silence. 

“So… You’re not going to ask me why I was out in the woods? In the middle of the night? Alone?”

Damn it, Danny is so awkward. But he can’t help but be confused by the stranger who took him in without questions.

Steven shrugged. “I mean, yeah, it’s kinda weird, but I’ve seen weirder.”

Oh. Now that piqued Danny’s curiosity. 

“So you pick up hitch-hikers often?”

“Eh, you’re only my third,” Steven replied. “The first was a guy who needed a ride to the hospital, I couldn’t just say no, you know? And then there was the woman who broke down on the side of the road, on the way to the car dealership. Talk about bad luck…”

“And you weren’t… afraid that they’d like, kill you or anything?”

“I can protect myself.” Danny tried to ignore the slight flinch that Steven had, but it was noticeable.

They settled into another beat of silence. Another song-- G-G-G-Ghost. Oddly fitting for Danny’s situation.

He didn’t even turn the question around and ask why Danny was in the middle of nowhere. He just… took it, as is. Might as well throw Danny’s cover story of getting lost when he got up in the middle of the night to pee while camping out the window, because Steven didn’t seem phased by anything at all.

Heh. Phased.

The thought of Steven being the maniac serial killer came, but Danny shot it down. The other teen-- he had to be a teen, or at least in his 20s, with a super bad case of Baby Face-- gave off some kind of vibe that he wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

But he could. It was extremely powerful; but not threatening. More like royalty, if anything. 

It was strange. Danny never got it confirmed as an official “ghost power”, but being able to just sense people’s vibes were definitely not a human thing. 

Then again, what was a human thing? It’s been almost two years since The Accident. 

Tucker called it being able to vibe-check people. Steven’s vibes were powerful, but not malevolent. 

“So… Steven, where are you going?”

“Eh. I don’t really know.” He gave off a smile, but it was different than his tone. “I’m trying to go on a journey of self-discovery right now? Just going where-ever the road takes me.”

“Really? Don’t you go to school or anything?”

“Eh-- uh, kinda. I’ve taken up a few online classes I can get with free wi-fi and stuff, you know?”

“How old are you?” 

“Almost seventeen.”

Alright. Danny knew some kids in Amity Park who dropped out of Caspar High. Some of them took up jobs at the Nasty Burger, others in various gas stations, and grocery stores throughout the city. So Steven must’ve been a well-off kid to just drop out, take online classes, and travel the country.

Danny was kind of jealous. Being able to just drop everything and go somewhere else, and make a new identity for yourself?

But he’d be leaving Amity Park defenseless. No, bad idea.

Danny checked his phone again for the time-- ah, finally. Connection again.

big titty goth gf: danny? helloooo?

t.f. as in the fuck: you’d think he’d be back by now.

big titty goth gf: yeah, well, he isn’t if u hadn’t noticed

t.f. as in the fuck: ………. Yeah

t.f. as in the fuck: usually he’d be out of the ghost zone by now if skulker’s got him going. think something happened?

big titty goth gf: i hope not or else jazz is gonna start yelling at us for letting him go into the gz alone

big titty goth gf: danny tuck and i are headin back to my house let us know when you’re ok?

Oh, his messages are finally going through. That’s good.

sad ghost club president: hey SHIT guys uh i got out of the ghost zone but uh. Don’t know where i am and don’t know where skulker went i’m gonna try and find a way back home. can either of u cover for me while i’m gone? Idk when you’ll get this massage

sad ghost club president: *message fuck tonight sucks

It wasn’t long until someone responded. They were teens, they were up late on a weekend night. No rules.

big titty goth gf: oh thank GOD its been like two hours 

t.f. as in the fuck: good to hear you’re ok! sam and i got ya covered. But where are you?

sad ghost club president: tuck i just said i didn’t know. but a kind samaritan stopped and i’m on route to the closet down 

t.f. as in the fuck: you’re HITCH-HIKING?

sad ghost club president: well it’s either that or having a fun trip skydiving tonight, so yeah

big titty goth gf: just be safe danny, don’t fall into a horror movie

sad ghost club president: remember i’m scarier than anything they can throw at me owo

sad ghost club president: plus this guy doesn’t look like he’d hurt a fly

sad ghost club president: or, well, he could if the fly hurt him first. Vibe Check is going off yall

big titty goth gf: i still cant believe u refer to that as ur Vibe Check

t.f. as in the fuck: sam its a good name

big titty goth gf: I Beg To Differ

t.f. as in the fuck: anyway if his vibe check is clear then you’re probably ok danny

sad ghost club president: yeah but its still super weird. he hasn’t asked why i was in the middle of the woods or anything, he didn’t ask me any questions about whio i am?? he’s also like. jazz’s age at MOST. just driving nowhere in the middle of the night because apparently he’s on some sort of journey of self-discovery

big tittyy goth gf: yeah thats weird but also danny?

sad ghost club president: yeah sam?

big titty goth gf: stop being paranoid

big titty goth gf: also ur cover story is being at my place with tucker for a movie night like we originally planned until He came around.

t.f. as in the fuck: fuck skulker

sad ghost club president: skulker does not have rights

He could chill now, that he knew that Sam and Tucker have his back (like always, they always have his back) and a cover story already set up. His parents didn’t question his whereabouts usually on Friday nights, because he usually spent them with his friends and they were usually too buried in research to notice him not there.

Sad, but true.

Steven changed out the cassette tape for another, continuing the quiet drive down the road.

This is okay. They were probably only half an hour away now. Once they got to the city, Danny could look it up on his GPS app and see how long it’d take to fly back home. He couldn’t have ended up too far away from home, but with the Ghost Zone, he had doubts sometimes.

Of course just as everything seemed to be okay, everything had to go downhill immediately.

It started with his ghost sense going off. Steven was preoccupied with looking at the road, listening to the music playing through the speakers. Luckily. 

Danny glanced out the window.

Skulker’s face materialized through nothing and threw his robotic body at the car.

It was a shake, but the sudden force against the poor car sent it sliding across the road. Steven grasped the wheel hard and hit the brakes, and Danny braced himself and held onto whatever he could.

Luckily it was midnight in the middle of nowhere, no one else was on the road.

“You okay, Danny?” Steven asked, looking around with frantic eyes.

“I’m-- yeah, I’m good.” Danny took a deep breath. He glanced out the window again. Skulker was still around, no doubt about it, and Danny’s ghost sense went off again. He’s close.

“What was--” 

Danny didn’t want Steven to have to deal with ghosts, on top of his existential cross-country trip to find himself. For all Danny knew, the kid didn’t even believe in ghosts! He unbuckled his seatbelt and threw open the door.

“Thanks for the ride, goodbye!”

He didn’t want to deal with Skulker, once Steven was out of the way he’d go ghost and try and fly to the town nearby and figure out where he was, then let Skulker hunt him all the way back to Amity Park. All in a night’s work.

“Wait, Danny--?”

He ducked into the brush by the side of the road, trying to lure Skulker away from Steven. He didn’t want more normal people to get involved in his problems.

But apparently the other kid didn’t take goodbye! very well, Danny turned his head around and saw Steven following him carefully into the woods by the side of the road.

Before he could tell Steven to turn around and go, Skulker appeared. Of course. Steven was immediately drawn to the sight of the sudden floating, glowing robot in mid-air, of course, but it didn’t go the other way. 

“You’re too out-of-range to have your friends help you with that stupid tablet now, whelp.” Skulker had somehow got re-synced to one of Tucker’s tablets, and it was good while it lasted, but it seemed Danny was out of time. And even if they were still synced up, they were too far away from Amity Park for it to connect.

Damn it. Just his luck.

“Let’s make this quick, shall we?” Skulker added before Danny could interject with a witty remark. He raised one of his DALV-made ecto-guns and it shot.

Go intangible, his instincts said.

FUCK, his brain said, helpfully.

He closed his eyes and braced for whatever was coming-- intangibility, pain, whatever. Hopefully, Steven got the idea to run--

No pain came. He wasn’t intangible.

Danny opened one eye.

And then the other. 

Steven was standing between him and Skulker, and a weird… It wasn’t ecto-energy, but it was some kind of pink energy, forming a barrier, taking the hit from the ecto-gun too easily.

What.

The fuck.

Steven turned around to Danny, eyes wide. “Danny, are you okay?”

“Uh-- the-- what.” Skulker looked as annoyed as he usually did, if not more, and tried to phase through the pink barrier. “Are you-- what-- uh. I think my brain has officially had it. Yeah, you know, this might as well happen.”

Steven cringed. “Oh, the shield. It’s a, uh… Long story.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll take your word for it.” Danny replied. He looked back at Skulker. He didn’t want to transform right in front of Steven, but the barrier probably wouldn’t hold forever, or Skulker would just go over it or under it eventually. 

Steven could clearly protect himself. This is what he meant, it seemed.

“Well. I didn’t freak out on you. So don’t freak out on me now, okay?” Danny looked to Steve, who nodded.

“No freaking out, got it!”

Danny allowed the familiar rings to transform him. Why he was trusting this random kid with the biggest secret he had (well, one of the biggest secrets, technically), Danny didn’t know.

But the kid obviously wasn’t normal himself, as evidenced by the glowing pink barrier between him and the ghost.

And to his word, Steven did not freak out. His eyes did glimmer and he did look at Danny with an odd sort of familiarity to it, a sort of kin-ship of weird teenagers with weird powers. Apparently.

Skulker broke through the barrier. He looked down at Steven, then to Danny. “Looks like I’ve got two pelts to add to my collection.”

“Ew, gross?” Steven replied, looking a bit sick to his stomach. 

“Yeah, you get used to it after a while.” Danny shrugged, before turning to Skulker again. “How many times do I have to tell you, Skulker, that you’re never gonna get your hands on my beautiful hair?”

Danny charged ectoblasts into his hands. Steven allowed more of that weird-pink energy form around his fists, like boxing gloves. Ah, not just a one-trick show pony. 

“I’ve got your back, Danny.”

And for once, Danny didn’t feel alone in his ghost-fighting.

----

Skulker was taken down easily with two people fighting instead of one, especially with barriers that could take hits from both ecto-gun blasts and normal ecto-energy blasts pretty well. It was probably not even five minutes until the pesky hunter was sucked up into the thermos and stashed back in the safe space along Phantom’s handy belt.

Steven didn’t even look fatigued. It looked like he had more energy than he had started with originally-- probably the adrenaline high that came with every ghost hunt. 

“Alright. I was trying to not be too nosy, but what was that?” 

“A ghost.”

“A… a ghost?!”

“Yup. Not the whole horror-movie, boo and spook ya kind of ghosts.” Danny said, floating down to where Steven stood. “You’re taking this well.”

“You’re taking this well.” Steven wasn’t even bruised and he’d been thrown into a tree during their fight. He wasn’t even bleeding, but one of his fists was still covered with the magic-bubble glove. He flexed and it popped, fading away.

“Well, at this point, anything might as well happen.” Danny landed, allowing him to transform back. “You can’t tell anyone about this, alright?”

The sudden harsh tone in Danny’s voice startled Steven, and he straightened up. “Scout’s honor! Even though I was never a scout.” Steven shrugged. “And, well, I never kept my gem powers a secret, so I don’t care if you tell anyone or not, I guess?”

“Gem powers?” It was the word that Skulker had thrown out during their fight, but Danny was just trying to take him down quickly so he could get home quickly so he could take a nice, long nap. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m half-gem.” To prove, Steven lifted his shirt and showed that, in the placement of his navel was a bright pink gemstone. “Half-gem, half-human.”

Wow.

The only experiences Danny had ever had with other hybrids like him-- halfas-- were Dani and Vlad. Dani (or, Ellie, as she said last in one of her letters) was his clone, for starters, who was taking soul-searching to a whole new global level. Vlad was an egotistical maniac who wanted to kill his dad so he could date his mom.

“I’m… I’m half-human, too. Except, half-ghost instead.” He could feel a few tears welling up, but he pushed them aside. “Normally I’d say you’re going to have to wait a little longer to unlock my tragic backstory, but after tonight I’d say we both have stories to tell.” 

Steven smiled. “I still owe you a ride to the next town, don’t I?”

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs “terminator 2: judgement day” for the first time

Nothing says "Christmas season" like watching bloody action movies! Well, there is "Die Hard," but I'm watching Terminator 2: Judgement Day, aka "James Cameron Was Mad He Didn't Put Those Ten Minutes of Subplot He Filmed Into the Theatrical Cut of the First Terminator, So He Made An Entire Movie About It Instead Because He Could”.

Ok, so I have the "Extreme Edition", whatever that means. The menu options for the DVD include "Sensory Control" (for subtitle options) and "Jump Into Timeline". Every now and then a super-creepy T-2 metallic head drops into frame to remind you to press play. I'm loving this.  

Cars in L.A. traffic. Children laughing on a playground in the '90s. Cut to the Apocalyptic Nightmare Future with the busted cars and skeletons for drivers. Everything's STILL IN PLACE the way it was when Judgement Day happened. Oooh, yeah, just cut to the wrecked playground with a pile of human skulls, in case we didn't get the memo.

(for the record, I'm pretty sure nuclear winter would actually NOT WORK LIKE THIS, but it looks cool, and James Cameron seems to be really good at this kind of parallels between present and future, so I'm rolling with it.)

Sarah Connor narrates the introductory spiel, and we're treated to basically the same opening as T1, except much higher budget everything. Lots of laser beams and explosions and fireballs, plus scary metal Terminators roaming around that the last movie did NOT have the budget for. (plus the audiences have already seen that in T1, so it's okay to show them in the intro, since I assume an EVEN SCARIER TERMINATOR FINAL FORM is coming).

We're only 3 minutes into the movie and the filmmakers have already spent like a tenth of their total budget on SFX and twice the total costs of the first movie. 

It occurs to me as Sarah is narrating, who is she narrating to? Just us, or some other characters? I strongly suspect we'll see some other characters when this film finally cuts to her.

How does Sarah know about a second strike? Didn't we establish in the last movie that there was only one Terminator that went through the portal before the humans got to it?? Are they retconning that now?

Instead of '80s synth and logo during the credits, we get a more symphonic treatment of the main theme, plus THE PLAYGROUND ON FIRE because SYMBOLISM for the destruction of CHILDHOOD INNOCENCE, amirite?? And then we cut to the SCARY METALLIC RED-EYED TERMINATOR SKELETON IN FLAMES because THAT is the defining image of this francise, the one that James Cameron had NIGHTMARES about that he decided to give to EVERYBODY ELSE by making these films.

I just realized how much the Terminator head in that shot looks like a human skull, THAT'S SO INTENTIONAL AAAAAH.

Cut to a truck driving off without its cargo, trash on the ground. Sparks fly, a wind picks up, it's night, we've been here before... This time the budget is higher, so we actually get to SEE the sphere instead of people just kind of appearing... and it carves a hole in one of the trucks. This ALSO didn't happen in T1. Nudity is still mandatory, though. It's still Arnold. You can tell it's an upgraded model Terminator based on his computer system menus. He still beats up tattooed punks to steal their clothes, only instead of stoned punks, these are long-haired motorcycle dudes in some sort of pool bar.

Oh, wow, there are a lot of people in this bar. A woman with a cigarette and a nose ring is checking the Terminator out. This is going to go well. Country music blares on the soundtrack.

He's looking for the dude with the best motorcycle. Tells him to give him his stuff. This is just like the first movie, but different. The dude is unimpressed, though why I'm not sure, because the Terminator is super-intense, and super-buff.

But the motorcycle dude blows smoke in his face--the T2 model scan says "carcinogen vapors", which is a) hilarious, and b) SO DIFFERENT FROM THE "EVERYBODY IS ALWAYS SMOKING EVERYWHERE" vibe of 1984--a sign of the evolving social norms. Then the motorcycle dude grinds his cigar into the Terminator's bare skin... and of course there's no reaction.

One dude goes through a window onto the front window of what may well be his car(?). The original dude goes flying into the kitchen and lands on a stove, which is horrific, but also karmic payback. Another gets stabbed with his own knife. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, CAMERON. Burned guy tries to pull a gun on the Terminator, but surrenders his keys and his clothes without a fight. Terminator goes outside in record time, because the dude he tossed on the car window is still there.

The bartender comes out with a gun, fires a shot into the air, and tells the Terminator to get off the bike. This is going to end poorly for him, especially since "Bad to the Bone" is playing in the background. Terminator takes both the gun and the guy's shades while the dude just watches, incredulously. YOU GOT LUCKY YOU'RE NOT HIS TARGET/MISSION, pal.

(also: this movie is such an obvious social commentary about how being armed really doesn't help you against a real threat, American fantasies to the contrary)

Cut to more blowing trash, more buildings, more trucks, a police car, electricity. The future is calling! (Oh good, this person's either going to be chased by the police OR Take their stuff.)

Dramatic hole in the fence from the future sphere thing. Yeah, this definitely wasn't a thing in the first movie, but it does look cool in this shot! Yep, there goes the policeman!

New dude's first order of business is to look up John Connor's name in the computer in the police car. Apparently, John Connor has a criminal record - trespassing, shoplifting, disturbing the peace, vandalism. He doesn't live with Sarah... he's got a guardian, and the address is in the computer.

Cut to the suburbs. It's wholesome, white-bread America. His foster mother yells at him. John is a teenage motorcycle punk, but in a clean, wholesome way. His friend has very '90s hair, though.

John's friend thinks that his foster mom is a "dick," but frankly, I see no evidence why we should hate her thus far. Her husband comes out to tell John to clean his room, but he and his little friend are already zipping away on their motorcycle, and the little friend is holding a miniature boombox, and it's so '90s, I have to pause so I can laugh for a while. Also, this rebelliousness is what's going to save his life when the Terminator comes for him. I guess the foster parents are framed as nagging assholes so we don't care so much when they die??

(also, what do you want to bet Sarah taught John to ride a motorcycle??)

John Connor is a little dick who thinks he's so clever, and he doesn't have to do anything because these aren't his real parents. His foster dad smokes, and doesn't say anything, probably because he's already made it clear to his wife that room cleaning is not high on his priority list. Fuck him.

Sarah's doing pull-ups in her cell. THOSE ARM MUSCLES, OH MY GOD. She's 29 years old. SUCH A CHANGE from the waitress with the '80s hair from the first film. Everything's so white, it's a state psychiatric ward for women. Men in suits discussing Sarah's case.

THIS IS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO KYLE IF THE TERMINATOR HADN'T BUSTED THE POLICE STATION. *sob*

Is Silbermann - the psychiatrist who examined Kyle in T1 still around? He left the police station right before the Terminator's attack, so I assume he lived... what does he make of Sarah's case? Does he ever follow up? I wonder what's going through his head.

I like how we don't see Sarah's face until she turns to face the doctors. I like how wild and unhinged she looks, how feral. She's changed so much in what, ten years? Thirteen? I think it's 1997, just before Judgement Day, but idk if that's been confirmed yet. Thirteen looks about right for John Connor, so I'm going with that.

Oh, god IT IS DR. SILBERMANN, THAT ASSHOLE!!! How does he explain how both Sarah AND Kyle have schizophrenia, when Sarah was perfectly normal before? And he *know* someone was murdering other Sarah Connors and seemed to be gunning for her, so why...? Was he really that much of an asshole not to suspect that *something* was going on, and Sarah wasn't crazy??

Also, I love "How's the knee?" because she totally hurt him, and I love her. I love how calm she sounds, like she's the one in control not them, because she can hurt them more than they can hurt her.

Sarah stares at the female doctors, and I realize now that Silbermann is doing a tour of the facility LIKE IT'S A ZOO, and... yeah, wow, he really is an asshole. He's the one with delusions, who can't see outside his own sheltered bubble...

I wonder what would happen if Sarah could talk to one of the female doctors? If they could make a connection? Maybe they would believe her. God knows Silbermann isn't going to listen to anyone who doesn't already agree with him.

God, the orderlies are sadist assholes. I fucking hate them. That shot of Sarah lying crumpled on the floor is so beautiful because everything is angelic pristine white and sunny, and so horrifying.

The police dude shows up at John's foster parents' house. We're supposed to think he's good because he's not Arnold, but this person has no facial expressions and he's too calm - compare with Kyle's frantic fumblings. This is not somebody from the human resistance of T1, at least not without some serious retconning. He's too poised and professional, too adept at the 1990s, whereas Kyle Reese had the social skills of a feral racoon and wore pants he stole from a homeless man. Totally different vibe going here.

The knock on the door sequence is so parallel to the original Terminator going to the first Sarah Connor's house in T1... same suburban paradise... and you can get anything when you're a clean-shaven, short-haired white cop, can't you??

Cut to: '90s tech. John and his little friend hacking an ATM. God. Their clothes, their hair, the ATM... everything is peak early '90s, and I can't handle it. We learn that Sarah Connor taught her son how to hack, because of course she does.

John keeps the photo of Sarah in his backpack, awwww. John is so not impressed by his mother, calls her crazy because she took the war to Cyberdyne and WENT BACK AND TRIED TO BLOW UP THE COMPUTER FACTORY AGAIN AFTER KYLE DIED!! (and her son was born)

Q: what did she do with John while she did that? Was he outside waiting for her somewhere? How did the police find him??

It doesn't matter who your parents are, EVERY teenager thinks their parents are "total losers". John has a chip on his shoulder a mile wide. His little punk friend thinks Sarah is so cool, and he doesn't know any of this, so I guess they're not THAT good friends??? Since it's John's motorcycle, John's driving, and John's stolen money, I guess the little unnamed punk friend is only hanging out with John because John is so much cooler than him, and needs someone to exposit to??

That shot of a drugged Sarah slumped over her knees on her bed in the shaft of sunlight, with her hair combed is SO BEAUTIFUL, too bad she's a drugged shadow of her usual self...

OH MY GOD, MICHAEL BIEHN IS IN THIS MOVIE, AND HE COMES TO HER, AND HE'S WEARING HIS TRENCH COAT AND TELLING HER SHE HAS TO WAKE UP OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG MY SHIPPER HEART asfhgfkgkfdgjkfdlgf *incoherent screaming* I need a thousand GIF sets of this scene PRONTO.

Kyle: "Where's our son???"

god, Sarah's EYES when she says they took him from her

Kyle is so earnest, so desperate, so much less bedraggled than he ever was in T1... god, he's even wearing that stupid gown under his trench coat that he got in the police station in T1, that detail wrecks me, oh my god, oh my god, this scene is so beautiful, I just want an entire movie of THIS, oh my god...

Sarah is begging Kyle for help, and he grabs her shoulders and tells her she's strong, stronger than she ever thought she could be, LIKE HE'S ALWAYS DONE, OH MY GOD, beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, I love him.

AHHHHHHHHHHH, and then he says "On your feet, soldier!" which is what she said to HIM right before he DIED, and he forces her UP and they EMBRACE and she's sobbing into his shoulder and he hells her he loves her and he always will, and HKGKSFJALFNDBJNJN

I am a melting pile of shipper goo right now, this shot of them in the sunlight is so fucking beautiful, James Cameron HOW DARE YOU THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANTED IN A MOVIE EXCEPT THAT KYLE IS STILL DEAD, DAMN IT, YOU DIDN'T RETCON THAT.

He says he'll always be with her... and he is, because he's a voice in her head, a memory.... ahhhhhhhh my heart...

And he tells her "The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves," which is what SHE SAID TO HIM, oh my GODDDDDDDD.

And they hug and kiss and I could watch a whole movie about this, and then she slumps back and she's alone in her cell in a shaft of sunlight and I just want to cry. whhhhhyyyyy do you have to hurt me this way, why, why why why why whyyyyyy?

Oh wait, he's at the door to the cell, and it's open, telling her there's not much time... and walking away, and she goes out to follow him as he's walking down the hall and everything's so eerily perfect white and shiny and beautiful and SURREAL, fuck, I am so HERE FOR THIS!

God, this is all beautifully shot as she chases after him - and we get a good view of her amazing forearm muscles without objectifying her. The nightgown she's wearing is NOT standard institutional outfit - it looks more like lingerie than State Mental Hospital Standard Issue - but it's not especially revealing, either.

She opens the doors and she's outside and there's that playground again with all the children playing... SYMBOLISM AGAIN.... Sarah is locked out, away from the children, yelling to save them... and then fire.

And she wakes up in her cell and her hair is a mess again, so this time we know it's real -- and her outfit's changed, too, back to the tank top she was originally wearing, so I guess her outfit was part of the dream, too.

(ngl, I wasn't expecting even THIS MUCH of Michael Biehn in this movie, so I will happily take it, but stilllllllll... I WANT MORE, GODDAMN IT!!!)

(this got long, so I’m breaking it up into parts)

[raeofalbion]

Rules: List 5 quotes from various fics you love and link to the fics! Quotes can be short or long. Tag as many people as you want! (tagged by @leafenclaw - thanks so much! :D)

--

tagging: Idk who I follow and who follows me who hasn’t done this yet, so, if you want to do it, go for it and please tag me so I can see!

Okay, so I’ve decided to twist the rules a little and use this as a rec list for my current top five Sherlock fics and my top three Fable fics, in no particular order, so people who follow me for either fandom have something to go through. Under the cut because...long.

--

BBC Sherlock

Inevitable Destruction by @jimswestwood (formerly Dionysisch)

(Ao3; Sheriarty) Bored, Jim invites Sherlock into his home, Sherlock decides to stay. — It’s a beautiful 4 part oneshot series that deals heavily with existentialism and wanting, framed in an almost elegant, bordering on philosophical light. Oh and it makes me cry. It makes me cry a lot.

Sometimes it would hit him so hard it became painful even to breathe. The meaninglessness of it all. It all dissolved into the same ephemeral prettiness of clouds, of smoke, of things that could fascinate but hold no substance at all, vanish at the touch. The air in his lungs, the wall he kept staring at. Himself. The words flowing through his brain. Nothing. Just a casual connection, weak strings giving intolerable heaviness to sounds and letters. In the end, the more he repeated something, the more he realized emptiness. Sounds rolling in his mouth numbing his palate, as he took another mask, another voice, another self - an evocation of something he forgot along the way, and in which he forgot part of himself.

Bored, bored, bored. Bored.

His thin lips part slightly, tongue darting gently over scabs of a tormented nature, sign of a certain carelessness betraying a polished image in all its destructiveness. “Bored,” Jim repeats, again. Just a murmur. Gentle, quiet, making sure not to disturb the non-existent life in a bubble of static silence. It makes him think of grey, grey dullness, something like quicksand but gripping at his brain and his heart and paralyzing him until he cannot breathe and exploding into a million pieces sounds like the most tolerable image. Scattering himself like cosmic dust. He wonders if, in that case, he would give life to other stars or just decay. Once more. 

-

Not Until Then by @jamlocked​

(Ao3; Sheriarty, Sherlock/James Moriarty) After Sherrinford, Sherlock goes to see Jim’s brother. What follows is in no way straightforward. — There was a three-way tie for me between this fic, Daemon, and Between Shadows and Sunlight, but this fic. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it and I still can’t say for certain what I think is really happening. It’s gorgeous, elusive, and I love how much it makes me think. Jam’s a master at well-crafted, incredibly twisty plots and I’m just...endlessly fascinated by this one.

Sherlock watches his chest stop moving. David’s head tilts a fraction, like he’s listening to a far-off sound. And then…

…and then, his left hand moves to his left knee. It’s an instantly familiar gesture, one burned into Sherlock’s hard drive. Every other thought falls away. Sherlock feels his eyes widen and his mouth drop open, a gasp stuck behind his teeth. The cold, the silence of the country, the light of the windows, all melt to nothing as he watches David ripple his fingers (beats like digits) over his bent leg, pushing a slight emphasis on the roll of his thumb.

For a few seconds, he can’t breathe. His eyes snap up to David’s face - and it is David’s face, it is, but all he can see is Jim. Jim sitting there with his eyes closed and his hair a mess, slumped in exhaustion but still, always, drumming his own beat. Except that wasn't his beat, that was theirs. He knows of no one else who ever saw Jim make that move, and there’s no reason anyone ever should. That was part of their game.

He whirls to the side, back into darkness. His shoe makes a noise as it shifts on the gravel, but it barely registers. He blinks rapidly, playing the movement back, checking he saw what he thought he saw, not just what he wanted. Why would he want that? (Except wasn’t that his secret hope, wasn’t he sad when he realised he was wrong?) He doesn’t want that. It was just…

Logic. Logic. They’re brothers. He doesn’t know what characteristics they shared, and he doesn’t know when they last talked. There are any number of explanations; indeed, they’re lining up in his brain, each one ready to squash down the live-wire burst of shock. Coincidence (rarely so lazy), or wishful thinking, or his brain overlaying a strong moment from his past onto something innocuous.

Sherlock breathes out, and looks back through the window. David is rinsing the plates at the sink, ready for the dishwasher. Just a too-thin, tired man. Sherlock calms himself, and walks back around the house to let himself back in. He has to see this through. He has to know what he’s doing here, and then there’ll be no need to come back.

-

To What End? by collaborativesheriartyparty

(Ao3; Sheriarty) Texting, drinks, and...something more. Unique. Possibly dangerous. Definitely addicting. — I don’t know what to say about this series that someone else hasn’t already said but gods, they (the writers) are so good. There’s a depth and a complexity and a lovely, wonderful vulnerability to how both of them write their respective characters and watching Jim and Sherlock’s relationship unfold feels incredibly intimate and, at times, like I should have given them a bit of time alone. It’s fantastic. <3

Sherlock had a funny way of getting revenge, of paralyzing his enemy.  Jim appreciated it.  Why do with effort what could be done with a whisper?  The nights he’d dreamt of the detective had transformed his mornings, either giving him a renewed sense of patience or a real urge to get creative in his ventures.  Jim had wanted to give Sherlock every chance to notice him, and chase him down.  If Sherlock slipped cuffs on his wrists right now with a ‘gotcha’, would it be worth it? Yes. “I think…” Jim murmured, his tongue darting out to wet his suddenly dry lips and, oops, brushing Sherlock’s lobe in the process, “that you should be texting John.” How he managed sing-song just now was a bloody feckin’ wonder.  Maybe because he only took John so seriously.  “Telling him you’ll be home…soon,” Jim continued, tone back to a distracted drawl, and took another deep inhale of Sherlock, his leg almost brushing the other’s now.  To Jim, they were the only people in the bar right now, in the world.  His eyes had closed, and it took every effort to keep his hands off Sherlock. “Instead of starting something you don’t want to finish.”  He’d intended warning, but somehow it had turned out sounding like a challenge.

-

Circadian Disruption by @like-the-direction

(Ao3; Sheriarty) They are many things--brilliant, determined, enemies, lovers, human only in looks--and, if Molly has any say in it, soon they’ll also be free. — It was a tie for me between this series and Corpus Callosum--both invoke similar levels of internal joyful screaming, but I seem to recall CC being recced recently, so I thought it might be a good idea to rec this one. And oh, gods, what to say about these fics. They’re so incredibly well written--the prose is beautiful and feels impeccably well-thought out. There’s so many layers to everything that it’s impossible for me to read without finding myself just sitting there, wondering. And crying. This one makes me cry, too.

“Do you dream of waterfalls?”

Sherlock pauses mid-step.

“Waterfalls,” Moriarty says, hushed, “and a precipice.  You, and me.”  There is something in his voice, a quiet heartbreak, and it cracks ever so slightly when he asks, “Do you dream of falling?”

Slowly, Sherlock turns.  Moriarty is deadly serious when he meets his eyes.

“Victorian clothing,” he goes on, while the image - the recurring dream Sherlock has had since the day he met James Moriarty face to face - begins to form in his mind’s eye.  “Me, all in black.  You, wearing that fucking--”

“Deerstalker,” Sherlock says in unison with him, unsure what is happening, but feeling in his bones that it is significant, important somehow.  Moriarty nods a bit, and Sherlock slowly continues, “I...refer to you as--”

“‘Professor,’” Moriarty finishes with him, and Sherlock is dimly aware of his pulse rising as he makes his way back toward Moriarty at the ledge.  His adversary’s eyes briefly appear wet, but it’s difficult to tell in the light.  Moriarty says, “We stand at the cliff’s edge, and I ask you something.  I ask, ‘Shall we--’”

“‘Shall we go over together?’” Sherlock whispers with him.  They are standing so close.  Sherlock can see his reflection in Moriarty’s eyes.  “Why do you know that?” he asks faintly, looking between his twin reflections.  “How could you know that?”

“You tell me, Detective.”

It’s a test - Moriarty knows, certainly he knows - but Sherlock thinks he may, as well.  “It...wasn’t a dream.”

-

dinner by @very-trivial​

(Ao3; Jimcroft) Mycroft Holmes is a dangerous man--mysterious, isolated. Sherlock and Jim are convinced he’s secretly a top government official, but they can’t begin to comprehend the scale of his power. To clarify: Mycroft Holmes is a food critic. — This fic never fails to cheer me up. It’s lovely and the descriptions of food, as well as the character interactions, are so amazingly spot-on. Jim and Sherlock’s insistence that Mycroft is a scary government-man is surprisingly funny, particularly alongside Mycroft’s worry that they’ll figure out what his job really is. Also, the end is oddly heartwarming? The whole thing is just really good.

“You’re a crit-”

A hand slapped over Jim’s mouth.

Despite everything Jim now knew about Mycroft Holmes, in this very moment, he looked scarier than ever.

“I’ll tell you everything, but not a single word passes through your mouth - not now, not ever,” the man hisses, sotto voce. The silencing hand did not relent one millimeter as he pressed on. Jim was starting to regret seating them in a corner booth away from prying eyes.

“If my identity so much as appears as a  rumor  on the D-list food  vlogs  , I will make sure you never eat in this town again. You’ll never be able to order  curry  without wondering if the dish has been tampered with. Maybe poison, maybe they just spit in it. I have clout in this world, Jim Moriarty, and you don’t. You put my name out there and  I will use it  . I have friends in high places,  sir , and they owe me favors. I’ve made careers, I’ve launched veritable nobodies into international stardom. Don’t think for one moment you’ll ever be able to set foot into any decent restaurant again if you cross me. You'll live off cheap instant noodles for the rest of your life. Not even the good Korean kind.”

--

Fable

The Sergeant by deadpan riot

(FFN; m!Sparrow & Reaver) Reaver returns home from Samarkand to find Sparrow has usurped his home. Oh, and Sparrow has a new pet. — First things first: I adore deadpan riot’s Sparrow; our Sparrows are somewhat similar, so it makes this fic (well, actually series but the series isn’t up in full) a really easy read for me. This fic balances out the ridiculousness and hilarity of poorly-paired roommates (with a pet balverine) and the solemnity and almost depression that comes from everything that happens in Fable II and all the choices one makes but still manages to keep the story lighthearted and well-paced.

"Did you know, my dear boy, that that beast of yours has, in fact, retained a marginally functional knowledge of the human language? Illiteracy aside, of course…" Reaver toyed with one of the bottles nearest him, watching the hero through his bangs. Smiles had again gone to try his luck at bottle roulette.

"Well, yea, I guessed as much since he does tend to listen to me…But what the hell are you two doing?" Sparrow was now coming down the stairs, prompting Reaver to stretch languidly across them.

"Whiling away my time banished to the foyer, what else?"

Sparrow stopped on the step above Reaver, eyeing the pirate, the bottles, and the general disarray of the room at large. "So 'whiling away the time' includes turning all the pictures upside down as well?"

Reaver cast a glance at the reversed paintings. "As a matter of fact it does, oddly enough."

-

Snow and Stones by Lilith Encodead

(FFN; f!Sparrow/Reaver) Reaver hears rumours that someone new has taken control of Bloodstone only to find Sparrow and a cursed snowglobe waiting for him. — Considering I prefer platonic Sparrow and Reaver fics, you might be surprised to learn this is my favourite Fable fic of all time. And it kills me that it’s not complete. Lilith creates such an amazing atmosphere in here and there’s such a gravity to the fic that everything, even the lighter moments, just seem to carry a lovely weight to them. The way she writes Sparrow and Reaver is gorgeous too, and I just...Lilith, wherever you are, please??? finish??? fic??? D: Please???

"I'm not going to play your stupid little game." she sneered slowly. "If you want answers - look around."

Reaver did not move. He did not speak. Then, ungraciously he eased his grip, before giving his pistol one last shove into her head. Her fontanelle was knocked back into the stone Cullis Gate, as the force reverberated through her skull. With an aching head and blurred vision, Sparrow watched him rise up and survey his surroundings.

Reaver examined the hauntingly empty area briefly, before looking straight back at Sparrow, as if averting his eyes from something disgustingly gory. Around the two of them were the smashed remains of once mighty stone ruins covered in ivy and surrounded by dandelion weeds. Jagged lumps of stone nested the Cullis Gate, depicting faded carvings of the Old Religion bleached by sun and faded with time. A standalone rock archway stood crumbling in front of them; beyond which was a chalky white path leading down to the town.

Every water, every cell, of Reaver's body could sense a foreboding danger through the archway, down the dusty path, and back to his past.

"This is a trick." he insisted. "An elaborate deception fabricated by a vindictive Will-user."

Sparrow remained sat on the Cullis Gate, knowing that Reaver would knock her down again if she gave another dissatisfactory answer.

"Its not." she said simply, as if talking to a child that should know better. "You know it's not."

-

That Which Moves the Stars by ingresviolin

(Ao3; f!HoBW/Reaver, f!HoBW/Ben Finn) Beatrice, empath and princess, embarks on a quest to find her missing father shortly after her mother’s death. — It’s still in early days, but there’s something very charming and curious about this fic. I love that the quest is mainly research-based so far and that all the characters have a wonderfully defined depth and clarity. I’m so curious and excited to see how it all comes together in the end.

"You look very young for being very old," Beatrice whispered at a nearly inaudible level. Her mother and Logan did not catch the comment, but both men at the table did. Reaver glared at her with the same menacing expression as earlier that day, but his eyes were darker than before. Beatrice felt an internal prickle of excitement: her favorite feeling.

She didn't need to touch Reaver to know he was upset, but as his glare darkened her excitement turned to fear. She could see her own image in the darkness of his pupils, as well as the glowing flames of the fireplace behind her. And she could have sworn to Avo that the two were not separate, but that the Beatrice-shaped homunculus at the center of the tiny conflagration in his eyes was being burned alive.

[gskyllas01]

I am going to start using this sort of as a diary for when I wanna just vent since nobody will see this except me :// 

October 6th, 2019

So I am currently laying in my bed.. I have worked all day at my job that I both love and hate at the same time. I am alone but not alone... I am single but not single... I'm dying but not dead... 

My parents are divorcing but I am the only one who knows because they think my sisters will lose their minds. The thought of them separating just breaks me, but I can't say anything or express how I really feel because they all claim I'm the “glue” of the family... If I show any sign of weakness or me breaking, it'll just be downhill from there. 

This guy and I had been talking for two months but then he left to study in Argentina for a year; we both really really like each other but we didn't want to start the relationship off with distance so theres no title. I miss him like crazy-- I look at pictures every single day and I replay the playlist I made him! He can text me MAYBE 5-10 minutes a day if that honestly because of how busy he is. I feel like he is slipping away, yanno... out of sight out of mind-- he doesn't see me so therefor he doesn't think about me. He says he misses me and stuff but it doesn't feel like it sometimes. but when he was here, he treated me soooo good. I don't know... I just don't want to be wasting my time, but I really see something with him. who freaking knows... 

I have cancer and its a pain in the ass... I don't know what more to say about that because that alone just breaks me day by day. I try not to think about it but its hard when you wake up feeling like death. I try to make it seem like its not that bad when talking to people about it but truthfully, its the scariest thing because the feeling of potentially dying any minute just scares the shit out of me... but in reality, any minute could be anybody's last moment if ya think about it. 

Abusive ex... don't even get me started. this man has spit on me, talked shit about me and my cancer, broken my wrist, held me at gun point, almost broke my ribs, suffocated me, attempted rape, hit me, kicked me, slapped me, pulled me around by my hair, drugged me, I mean if you can think of it he has probably done it. But I'm fucking stupid because a piece of me truly cares about him. A piece of me understands that he thinks the way he thinks for a reason. that he does what he does, for a reason. he is misunderstood. I have seen the soft side of him, I have seen the crazy side, I have seen both the selfless and selfish side. he has issues, we all do... I'm just a vulnerable target because I understand him and where he is coming from, and nobody else can really relate to that. He loves me, despite what he has done to me, I know a piece of him truly loves me. I know this because he only treats me like that, and it may sound crazy, but its just that he doesn’t know how to control his feelings. He doesn't;t know how to control himself. And I know you may be thinking, “why would he want to hurt the only person who has truly cared for him that he truly loves?” the answer to that is that he doesn't believe it... he doesn't believe that someone can honestly care for him because he has never had that. So he wants to intentionally push away the only good thing in his life because its “different” to him. Its a mechanism that is hard to understand, but its real. idk. he has fucked me up in more ways than one, but I have a soft spot for him. 

I was also mugged a couple days ago... my grandma Is in the hospital for the millionth time and I was going to take her the rest of my cash so she can have some money to do whatever in the hospital. Well... I was getting into my car and a strange man held a gun to my head and told me to give him all of my cash, so I gave it to him... that was traumatizing... 

I almost got in a car accident and it was scary, but what was scarier was that in the moment it was almost like I was just ready to let go? In the moment it was as if I was unfazed, and that scares me the most. Just like when I got mugged, yes it was scary, but in the moment I really just couldn't get myself to care. 

I just don't know what to think or feel... I have people that say they are there for me but I hate the thought of bothering people. I used to never cry, but now it seems as if thats all I can do anymore. I am just so sad, crushed, and absolutely broken-- but I can't let anyone else see that because I have to continue saving face. I tell people to be optimistic, everything happens for a reason, and people get what they deserve but it gets harder to believe as the days go on. 

[rationalisms]

have you seen it chapter two yet? thoughts?

it ch. 2 spoilers

yeah i saw it last weekend. i was... not impressed to say the least

even on a like... purely objective quality level it was a complete disappointment. the fact that they switched screenwriters between chapters was rly painfully evident. (so was the copious use of bad CGI.)

half the scenes in the film could have been cut with little to no impact on the story which makes you wonder why they felt it had to be three fucking hours long. and the supposed "scary" bits.... idk man.

i'm not generally someone who gets spooked by horror films; i can count the number of films that scared me on one hand. but it (2017) is among those. maybe it was a mistake to have similarly high hopes for the sequel, idk.

by the time the third CGI creature runs at the screen while yelling i was bored out of my mind. the scenes i did truly find unsettling all had one thing in common: they used the physicality of real performers. case in point: the old lady was way scarier before she hulked out. also, skarsgard is great as pennywise and it was disappointing to see how little they actually made use of him.

don't get me wrong, i'm not against CGI as a rule. i think it has its place and its uses, but this film vastly overestimated both.

also rly starting to think that this would have done way better as one film with time skips like the book but that never would have happened under the hollywood franchise money machine so lol.

as for the actual reason why you probably asked me in the first place: lmao.

having read the book i thought i was prepared for all kinds of nonsense but man i rly wasn't.

how graphically and voyeuristically the hate crime scene was framed alone raised my eyebrows but i was willing to write that off as part and parcel of the film genre. but by the time the credits started rolling all i could do was sit there and fume.

it's not even that eddie, as the obviouly gay coded first love of the canon gay character, dies at the end. i would have been willing to put up with that.

it's the fact that we have richie recarving the R + E while stanley tells him to "live proudly" over narration that was so bile inducing. like, he was miserable all his life because he was in the closet, the first real love he ever felt just died in front of him, he didn't even get to come out to his friends at any point, but sure. live proudly. cut to beverly and ben literally riding into the sunset on a boat.

fuck off.

the original was written in a very specific context during a very specific time. that's not to say it was ideologically flawless lol but it does mean that if you're gonna transpose it to a modern context you're gonna be faced with certain choices and this film bulldozed right past all of them and did so with a smugness that was deeply infuriating.

that's not even getting into stanley arguably also being queercoded (what WAS up with that whole sequence), mike being a complete non-entity and them never at any point considering that they shouldn't go with the Magical Black Man and Native Legend nonsense, or like. everything about beverly.

it's just. it's a bad film. for so many reasons. also literally everyone but hader was absolutely phoning it in. chastain and mcavoy especially were so bad it was hard to watch.

rly disappointing because i hold a lot of affection for the first film and book, but o well. i should rewatch the mini series.

(also can we talked about eddie and richie opening a door marked "extremely scary" and it literally leads into a /closet/ and how fucked it is that this very likely wasn't even intentional i swear to g-d i hate straight film makers)

[no-i-didnt-notice-im-short]

Keith "I never asked to be the leader!" with Lance saying "Well too bad because idk if you noticed but there are more people than just you!" Keith getting emotional and everyone getting on Lance for that? I'm sorry i love Klangst >~

Hope you like it, thanks for the prompt ❤

Ao3

This is post S2 for obvious reasons :)

—–

Keith was used to people abandoning him by this point, but the same person twice in a row was just a cruel joke from the universe.

His relationship with lance was thriving but the sense of familial closeness lacked in an unbearable way without Shiro. He was the closest thing he had to an older brother or even a father. He mentored him for years, taking him under his wing in the journey that is… life.

Finding him all those months ago in Garrison’s captivity after he crash-landed was a saving grace for the orphan boy. That small shred of familiarity he was given back subconsciously saved his life and kept him from falling apart after they were blasted off into space. A shred he lost again.

His and Lance’s relationship was still in its honeymoon phase when it all happened. That phase where you lay next to each other and whisper sweet nothings to remind each other that you are both here and that this tender moment was actually happening. Shiro’s disappearance ruined all that for Keith. He couldn’t afford to lie down, to not do anything that could get him closer to the Black Paladin.

Shiro said to take the lead if something was to happen to him but he couldn’t help but feel like he made a mistake trusting Keith with all of this. After the whole thing with the Black Lion, he had two paladins with new Lions and another two that didn’t know the first thing about combat. Keith was in over his head.

The new Black paladin spoke with Coran to give him the training records of the Paladins of Old to try it with the team. He set the training deck to the required settings and started the workout. Allura was to go first followed by Hunk then Pidge and ending with Lance. Each of their strengths and weaknesses were taken into consideration and Keith couldn’t help but feel slight pride in his work.

Overworking himself was his coping mechanism, he already knew it was bad but he couldn’t think about that right now. He did it back on earth when Shiro first disappeared with the weird energy and drawings in the cave, which later turned out to be super important and now he was doing it again with training exercises and trying to move forward.

He hadn’t seen much of the team outside of training due to him holing himself in the gym or the training deck. Keith needed to be better for the sake of the team, for the sake of finding Shiro again and for the sake of distracting himself, something not even Lance had been able to do… He just thought about it too much and he needed that intoxicating rush of adrenaline.

By the end of the first week of their new training schedule Hunk seemed like he had dead weights on his punches while he dodged the oncoming punches clumsily instead of the usual calculated precision. Allura’s moves were sluggish and too slow which was shocking considering she was their best fighter.

Lance was slightly better aiming/shooting wise but horrible in hand-to-hand combat, a note Keith didn’t spare from Lance as he kept repeating it all throughout his turn to remind him to get better. But the ex-Blue Paladin barely entered the training deck to train and it was showing in his hand-to-hand combat, being the only trope he was lacking in.

Today’s training was going fine. Everyone was doing their parts and Keith was giving pointers like he usually did, Coran was at the controls and whoever finished or were waiting for their designated session were doing light cardio on the sides.

By the time it was Pidge’s turn Keith was running out of temper to spare.

“Pidge! It’s like you are not even trying. You don’t duck the minute you think there might be a punch, you try to counter it.” Keith said in a rather stern way, but it was all for good reason. “Do what I’ve been telling you for the past week: Use. Your. Size.”

He walked closer to the bot and demonstrated the move he wanted and how he wanted it. He needed her to be ready for anything, why can’t she see that?

“Hey man, we get what you want but can you just calm down for a sec?” Hunk surprisingly said. He was wearing a training shirt with what looked like basketball shorts, and was also sweating buckets. His training today was weights and Keith tried to get him to push his body limits as much as possible for a better result. “She is trying to do what you are saying, can’t you see that?”

“Not really. All I see is weakness that could be exploited by our enemies in times of actual battle. She is already the smallest Paladin she can’t afford to be the weakest one too. She won’t make it.”

“What the hell DID YOU JUST SAY!?” A voice boomed from across the training deck. Lance came charging at him with inhuman speed, the sweat and flush on his face making him look scarier than usual. The fire in his eyes burned brighter than Keith had ever seen.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Lance.” He visibly sighed and made eye contact with Lance, regretting it almost immediately but held it for a few more minutes anyways. “All I am saying is that she needs to train more. You all do!”

“But we are training.” Hunk voiced out. Lance was fuming and looked like he had a lot to say but kept it in for everyone’s sake. Keith didn’t understand the reactions he was receiving; he was doing this for them all get better. This was war, not a playground fight.

“Not nearly well enough.” Keith shrugged. “Your level is close to pathetic and we all won’t survive the next battle at this rate.”

“Fuck you Keith we are all tired here, look around you we are all working our asses off” Lance threw his arms up dramatically.

“Not you.”

Pin drop silence.

And it may have been the fact that he didn’t expect this person to ever do this to any member of his team or the fact that his brain was racing too much to comprehend reality but the next thing Keith knew he was on the floor and his nose was dripping blood from the force of being decked in the face by Lance.

“We are all tired and worn out.” Hunk said. He had a hand on Lance’s shoulder, probably to keep him in check. “We have been training non-stop for the past week while dealing with a lot of issues on our own. Don’t think for one second you are the only one here who has been overworking themselves.”

Keith turned to the Yellow Paladin and stared. “I know that, I just think that right now the most important thing for us to do is to train. I am the leader according to Shiro and this is what I think is best.”

“What you think is best?! Right, so because Shirochose you based on his biased judgment we are supposed to follow your lead toour deaths?” Lance narrowed his eyes, holding eye contact with determination. Keithdidn’t understand where all this was coming from. “You do get that with how weare training, we won’t need to go to battle to die. You will do so during thesetraining sessions.”

“I never asked to take over as the leader, you know!!”Keith yelled at Lance. “It was Shiro’s decision and he’s GONE! All I am doingis respecting his wishes and doing what I think is best for the team. We needto train.”

“-We are not all YOU, KEITH! WE DON’T TRAIN LIKE COLD-HEARTED SOLDIERS!” he took a deep breath before composing himself. “I don’tknow if you noticed but there are more people than just you on this team.Shiro’s disappearance hit all of us. Maybe you more than the rest but we areall hurting after losing a friend. Open your damn eyes and look around you! Dios,we are your teammates, your friends, not your pet soldiers. Today’s session isdone.” He turned and left with that.

Their relationship was a secret. They didn’t have their friend’s expectations hanging over their necks on how they should treat each other, in private or in public. These new developments after the battle against Zarkon wasn’t really discussed by the lovers, both were choosing to focus on other matters. Keith didn’t tell Lance but it left a sour taste in his mouth thinking the Blue Paladin didn’t take all of this seriously, despite Lance making his insecurities pretty clear after their first few nights spent together, that he doesn’t want to disappoint anyone.

But at this moment, he wished they told the team of their new found closeness so Hunk or Pidge could punch Keith for what just happened.

Lance understood stress. He had anxiety for fuck’s sake.

What Keith was displaying, though, was getting out of hand on so many levels; it didn’t just affect him, it affected the whole team. He stalked Keith in the training room and saw his hopeless haunting look when he thought no one was watching. The small tremors that overtook his body when he overthought about a certain plan or when someone fucked up a training session; Keith was terrified that whatever happened to Shiro would happen to one of them too.

But what Keith failed to see was that everyone else was terrified too.

Lance had spent the better half of his time making sure everyone was healthy. Pidge over worked herself to an extent that he knew she won’t sleep if not reminded so he took her laptop from her when it was time for bed. He had his fair share of run-ins with the other paladins at night after being woken by a nightmare, another reason why he didn’t sleep in the first place, so to say the least: he saw first-hand how much everyone was suffering.

Hunk baked every possible recipe he could remember from earth while helping Coran fix a million things around the castle. Both males ran around all day trying to keep themselves busy by any means necessary with Lance going after them trying to get them to eat, drink and sleep. Allura’s situation was a bit tricky because she didn’t take him as seriously as the others, at first, so he had to get creative with getting her to take care of herself. And it all worked.

Taking care of everyone was so much work that he knew he was forgetting himself but the smile he would sometimes receive from Pidge when she wakes up from a long uninterrupted nap or from Hunk when he talks and lets out everything bothering him and Lance listens to him or from Allura when he helps her after reaching a supposedly dead-end in her planning by giving her a fresh point of view on things was way more than worth it in his books.

After leaving the training deck he goes to the Red Hanger to seek some comfort, he would’ve gone to Blue but Lance wasn’t over the rejection yet. As he reached the hanger door, he tiptoed to the Lion’s jaw to get into the cockpit but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned to find Coran smiling sadly at Lance.

“How are you, my boy?”

“I’m okay, Coran, just tired from training.”

“You know that we appreciate all that you’ve been doing to us these past few days.” Lance looked at Coran and found sincerity but he couldn’t get himself to believe him. Not completely.

“Keith seems to think otherwise.”

“You don’t know that, lad. He is just tired.”

Lance gave him a confirmation hum before he turned to leave, the hanger suddenly a few degrees colder than before. Exhaustion seeping into his soul more by the second; he was so tired. His vision started blurring the minute he caught sight of his bed. He locked the door, took off his training clothes and got under the covers and let the world turn black without interruption.

Coran walked into the training deck ready to kill someone and Keith almost had an idea why.

“I will make it up to everyone later.” He grumbled as he punched another bot, killing it in an instant.

“You will make it up to Lance this very second.” Coran’s gentle tone discarded for a hostile one that sent shivers down Keith back. Coran stalked up to him and stood mere inches away from his face while jabbing a finger in his chest. “You have no idea what that boy has been doing to everyone here and you need to start taking notes.” He said with a final jab and left.

What Lance has been doing?

Keith hasn’t seen much of Lance, but then again he hasn’t seen much of anyone. Pidge was always on her laptop while Hunk was always in the Kitchen. He helped Allura sometimes with strategy but didn’t talk to her otherwise. And Coran was Coran…

He ended the simulation and walked out the deck determine to find answers. He passed the kitchen and heard a voice that he later identified as Pidge.

“-too tired.” She finished.

“Yeah… those eyes bags are getting worse. We need to help him find himself again.” Allura conversed. He didn’t know the girls talked outside of missions, let alone about other members. He always assumed everyone was busy doing their own things between missions, like he did. “Keith had no right to disregard his hard work like this.”

Hard work?

“Yeah he’s been too down lately and he’s not talking to anyone about it.” Hunk was there too? The ringing sound of a tray set on the table. “He doesn’t come to me anymore, he hasn’t in a while but before it wasn’t as serious now.”

“Wasn’t he close to Keith before this?” Allura asked. “I thought they were finally getting along.”

“Yeah, me too.” Pidge answered.

Keith couldn’t listen to any more of this. He walked to his room, closed the door and trailed down to the floor with his head on his knees. Hot shame and guilt washed over him as he thought about of Lance. The others even noticed how close they were, he knew they didn’t hide it well but he didn’t think they would notice it to the extent of noting the difference.

He thought of every night he went to train and how the light of the lounge was always on. He assumed it was Pidge or Hunk as Lance took his sleep religiously but he was starting to doubt all his beliefs when it comes to the ex-Blue Paladin these days.

He looked around his room and saw random garments that didn’t belong to him. A shirt here and there, a pair of pants and some socks. He never realised how much he missed Lance and how much the Cuban softened him up that he without him there to go to bed with, he was beginning to suffocate. Lance has been hurting too but, unlike Keith, he was putting all that aside and helping the others.

Keith missed Shiro’s presence immensely at the very moment hating the responsibility he thrusted on his shoulders. He had finally found someone who would like him for who he was… flaws and all. And he ruined it by being a self-absorbed prick. He thought of what Shiro would say at a situation like this and came up blank.

Keith needed to fix this on his own.

Lance heard a knock on his door, yanking him out of dreamless sleep.

He opened the door finding a glass jar at the foot of the door. Lance bent down and lifted it to his face and stared. It was filled with little pieces of paper, all different colours. He opened the lid and took one of the pieces out and read what’s on it.

You make me a better person.

He tried thinking of everyone’s handwriting and couldn’t think of anyone’s that could match the one on the paper. He blamed it on the fact that no one writes anymore when you can easily type it out.

He took another one.

I appreciate everything you do for this team.

Red couldn’t have chosen a better Paladin

The fourth one however gave him a clue as to who his mystery person was.

You remind me I’m still human.

Lance thought of a conversation he had with Keith after they returned from the first time they had reached out for the Blade and it ended with Lance comforting a sobbing Keith. He was terrified of being Galra that he opened up for the first time ever about his past and how much Shiro meant to him and how he didn’t want to scare Shiro after what he went through at the hands of Galra. It took Lance literal hours to calm him down and get him to sleep that night. It was also the first time they ever slept together.

A small smile made its way to his lips as he took another paper.

You are all the better parts of myself.

He knew Keith was apologizing to what happened but he also knew that if he went to him right now he couldn’t trust his mind to make the right decision, words wise. He went back to bed with the jar in his hand and went through every single one of the papers, his smile growing more by the second. He really liked Keith and he was going to make sure that that boy knows when to relax.

I haven’t had motivation to write for a while… Finally got some clarity of mind and decided to do this prompt that i got months ago.

Hope you guys liked it! And i am so sorry if this is shit...

[nofacednerd]

whos frank???

I’m assuming this is about the tags on that one post and I was gonna answer with a silly “oh the demon that lives in my basement” but yknow what its story time kiddos

So I’d like to preface this with the fact that I am highly skeptical of supernatural stuff, I don’t believe in ghosts or demons or anything (I just think the idea of them is fun lol I’m gonna go ghost hunting this summer bc it’ll just be a fun time). I had moved into this house at the end of 8th grade and yknow moving sucks so obviously I hated the house at first. What I hated the most though was the basement.

I don’t believe in like psychic energies or vibes or anything either but standing down there for the first time in the basement it just felt off?? Like it felt like something had died down there and there’s a specific area that I always joke had a pentagram on the floor even though there’s no evidence to support that and idk man its just fucking weird down there. So my brother and I would joke that there used to be cult shit down there or something and my mom always tells us about how the house used to be a boring office building bluh bluh whatever (this of course only spawned more jokes about office worker cultists lol I think that’s where I kinda got the name Frank from it just gives off a middle aged office worker dad vibe and there’s nothing scarier than that).

My brother is in college now so he moved away, so its just me, my mom, and our two dogs that live here. Sometimes the dogs will bark at nothing or stare at walls bc yknow they’re dogs they do that but they do it so much more than they did at the old house and I’m like hmmm. Also, sometimes the basement makes weird noises when I’m home alone at night. I jokingly started telling people we have a demon in our basement and I named him Frank because it makes me feel 30x less anxious when I hear a weird creepy noise at night in the basement and I yell back “SHUT THE FUCK UP FRANK IM TRYING TO PLAY STARDEW VALLEY”

In a more recent occurrence, a few weeks ago I had a group of people come over to play dnd at my house and I showed them the basement, all of them agreed that it was unsettling as hell and @aaaaaaarp pointed out that the further in the basement you go, the more unsettled you feel

so TLDR; Frank is the demon that lives in my basement