#but it's very important to me that you know it happened as a culmination of mike's conditioning

[crumbleclub]

Mike trying to rationalize why Henry is okay with his dad hurting him, even when Michael isn't okay with him hurting his siblings. Even when nobody is okay with Michael hurting his siblings.

It wasn't as bad, right? He never laid a finger on them. They were only words.

Maybe it's because Mike is older. This bleeds into his protests, his haphazard attempts to protect. "Please, he's only six." Don't hurt him. Don't hurt him the way that you hurt me.

William finds this entertaining. He makes note of these things, wonders if he'd respond differently if William tried something else.

Maybe it's because William is an adult. He learns not to trust anyone older than him, but to let them do whatever they want. He learns to freeze; to shut down.

This makes him an easy target later on.

Is it because Michael deserves it? After Evan dies, he's sure that must be it. Willian knew what he was, and he only gave him what he already had coming. Michael was a murderer, after all. He deserved everything anyone might do to him.

It was his own fault.

[ven0moir]

Will had hope ... and then lost it.

He had hope that maybe, just maybe, Mike and he felt the same way. And I think it started here:

Mike expressed relief at the idea of Will not joining another party. And Will's look seems ... surprised but joyful? Like he's picking up on Something the audience is not.

Then we have this:

I know a lot of people say he meant this in a friendship way. But I don't think he did entirely. I think he was 'testing the waters' so to speak, to see Mike's reaction to him asking something like this so forwardly--an action driven in part, possibly, also by frustration. Of course their friendship was his priority but he was also Sending Mike a Message. Speaking in code, if you will. And I'm not sure if Mike picked up on it or not, but he knew what he was doing when he used the word 'us'.

Then of course we have Mike's speech to Will in episode 4. The way he slightly tilts his head to the side inquisitively after Mike said 'It's Hawkins, it's not the same without you', as if he's thinking "am I dreaming? Is he really saying this?" And not to be meta but he might even be wondering if he's being delusional here.

On top of that, the speech prompted him to gather the courage to do this:

hope again. But then his arc culminated in this:

Will's facial expressions when Mike is self-depricating ... he seems so sad. In the second one, even Mike notices and cuts himself off to apologize for bringing up this subject.

I think he, sadly, realized Mike did feel the same way as him, but not in the way he had initially hoped. Mike, like him, is struggling with not feeling good enough for the person he loves.

And Will did not want Mike to feel the same way he did. So he did what we saw him do and give the painting to Mike, which symbolizes his love for DnD, for what they do together, for their friend group, for him. His intention here was to make Mike feel better. Important. Seen. Even at the cost of his own heartbreak.

"Every smile you fake, I'll be watching you."

So to recap, at the beginning of the season, Will had been acting weird and painting for someone he liked ( according to El ). We find out very quickly that the recipient of the painting was intended to be Mike. I don't think Will ever intended for the painting to be a full blown love confession--but a start. A continuation of the 'hint dropping' they started doing at the end of S3. But of course, the whole world went to shit, and his feelings got amplified to the point where the painting's meaning took a different turn. And it became the basis of a veiled love confession.

I think this is devastating because the narrative forced them, once again, down a different path from the natural progression this would've been had Mike been allowed to enjoy a nice spring break in California.

I do believe by the end of S4, Will has completely lost the last vestiges of hope he had left that Mike would ever reciprocate his feelings, especially after Mike's love confession. I think he feels stupid for even allowing himself to believe there was a chance.

I mean, look at him. And, terrifyingly, I feel like that is exactly where Vecna needs him to be at the start of S5.

Sprinkle in some #birthdaygate and voila ... we have the perfect recipe for a horrible Vecna vision.

I don't know how they'll resolve this, but it does feel to me that the intention of Will's S4 arc was to get him to a point of loss of hope, which signifies the death of his dream.

Going into S5, he probably sees this dream now as stupid and childish--an impossibility. Adding to this, there's no way in hell Will is going to confess. Not when this happened and it was never resolved.

The ball is on Mike's court, for better or for worse.

And I think this is also another plot twist we will find out through Vecna: the fact that Will had hope that he and Mike could be together and felt the same way. And that honestly makes whatever Vecna does to Will 10 times worse because if Will had NEVER had hope, then there's nothing new there. But having hope and then having it crushed to the ground? Yeah ... my heart hurts as I type this.

[emotionally-cuckolded]

"Even before that I'd had some really sweet conversations with his sisters, who told me that he's seemed much happier and more content with his life since he and I started dating -- which, needless to say, really made me feel good and accepted by them. And before his grandparents left (a day earlier than everyone else) his grandmother had told me that she really hoped she would be seeing me a lot more often in the future -- and that she was already thinking of me as part of the family.

Anyway -- so, this morning, like I said, his mother took me aside. She said that she knew I was married and she wanted to know if I loved my boyfriend AND if I still love my cuckold (yes -- that's how she referred to you) -- because it was obvious to her that my boyfriend loves me. I told her that, yes -- I do love him -- and that I love him more than I have ever loved anyone else in my life, including you.

That made her smile, but she then asked again about my feelings about "my cuck", so I said that I did love you, but in a different kind of way -- more like the way we can love a pet or a good friend.

Then she surprised me by asking if I was still intimate with you. Obviously she knew I was with her son, since he and I shared a bedroom during the weekend and were very affectionate with each other in front of his family. Her question made me laugh a bit, and I told her no -- that I had stopped being intimate with you soon after I started having sex with my boyfriend. Again -- my answer made her smile, and she laughed too and said something about what a pathetic beta you must be.

And then finally, she asked me if my boyfriend and I had ever discussed marriage, and whether -- if he asked me -- what would I say. I got a bit flustered by the question, so hesitated for a moment, but then told her that no, he and I have not discussed that, but that if he did ask me, it would be a dream come true and I would say yes."

Your wife then looked up at you, and seeing a few tears emerge from your eyes, gave you a hug and a kiss and then said -- "You do understand, don't you sweetie? Even you can tell that he's a much better man than you and would be a much better husband for me. So you should try to feel happy for me -- because what is happening really is like a fairytale dream come true for me."

As you struggled to control your feelings, you still wanted to be a good cuckold for her -- to really be happy for her, which is what really was most important for both her and for you. You know deep down that he really is a far better man than you -- a better man, and he would be a better life partner for the woman you love with all your heart.

"If he does ask you to marry him" you ask "would there still be a place in your life for me?"

Your wife smiled at you. The fact that you were fully reconciled to the likelihood that she will end up married to him pleased her. "You had to know that this is where my cuckolding would bring us" she said. "Even when you first begged me to cuckold you, you must have thought about this possibility -- and at some level it must have been what you hoped might some day happen."

You didn't really have to answer. Your wife knew that what she was saying was true -- that her marrying him would be not only a fairytale-like dream come true for her, but it would be the culmination of all of your cuckold dreams as well.

"So yes -- maybe -- if he does ask me -- which I'm sure he will -- then at the ceremony, it would be nice if you were there to give me away to him. I think his family would like that too -- to know that I was becoming 100% his and that you accepted that I was his and not at all yours. And then, as far as the future beyond that -- my poor sweet adoring cucky, I actually don't think there WILL be a place for you in my life. But I will always be the only woman you will ever love, and that pleases me."

[thewertsearch]

TG: the barnoness wants us to […] TG: i dont know why TG: everything i know about it says it should be a good game and real important and itll let us all get togehter and do somethin great and be besf friends for maybe eternity? TG: but she took all that and twisted it somehow TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen

Well, she's working for English, who presumably wants to turn this universe into his latest dinner. So far, that's his only stated motivation, although I have reason to suspect that there's more to it than that.

If the Condesce has her own agenda, then it's probably something akin to the oft-discussed Second Alternian Empire. The woman clearly thinks very highly of herself - her name is literally the condescension - and somehow, I doubt she's content to fade into obscurity as the one-time ruler of a fallen civilization.

No, this is a woman who wants to rule. We've seen the influence she's already exerting over the Earth, and I don't think she'll be satisfied until her control is absolute.

Come to think of it, founding a new empire on Earth wouldn't even have to conflict with English's world-eating. After all, Alternia's universe was marked for destruction at his hands, and she still ruled it for millennia before the other shoe dropped. From the Earth's perspective, it could be thousands or even millions of years until the universe is destroyed - and even that doesn't need to be the end for her. English made her immortal, so there's literally nothing stopping her from starting over again, in the next universe he targets.

She could do this forever, until there are no more worlds left to subjugate. It'll just be Alternian Empires, all the way down.

TG: maybay im just like this nutty ass bitsh twirling yarn from a shitwizards nappy brown beard but i cant bring myself to trust a cake sellin genocidal alien overlard sea queen

Huh. Funnily enough, I think this is the first time it's been all-but officially stated that Betty Crocker is the Empress. I'd ask how Roxy is aware of this, but she's the daughter of a Seer, and a l33t haxxor to boot. She's probably more clued-in than even Jade was.

TG: so what is the itinerary again GT: Intinerwhosit? TG: regarding the game TG: whosplaying in what order etc

Well, if we follow where the narrative parallels lead us, the chain should be Jane -> Roxy -> Bro -> Jake. The expectation, then, is that Jane will Enter in relative safety, and the kids' meteors will slowly grow larger, culminating in a moon-sized meteor for poor Jake.

TG: i start with jane and bring her in the session TG: then ds brings me in and you bring him in and them jane does you and closes the loop

This does indeed seem to be the order they're planning. Only time will tell if it actually holds, though, as things have gone fruity-rumpus-shaped before. The trolls thought they were two different chains.

GT: Where are you getting this intel? Did you guys make a plan or something? TG: nah dont wory about it

Like I said, Roxy's got plenty of potential sources of intel. Aside from her mother, her hacking abilities, and potential Dream Self shenanigans, the 'darkness' Umbra's seeing over her location implies she might also be in contact with the Horrorterrors.

This girl's got a lot of irons in a lot of fires. Hopefully she knows what she's doing.

[wanderinsect]

TR! Aimsey and Ros lore Recap!!

Disclaimer: I watch Ros's pov more than Aimsey's, so if I'm missing anything important feel free to let me know!! This is heavily oversimplified bc I am not rewatching every vod <3

Aimsey and Ros are old friends who knew each other prior to entering The Realm. When Aimsey joined the realm, they expressed fondness and trust towards Ros

Ros, being one of the Kingdom of Fools most loyal and active members, is frequently witness to attacks leveled on the kingdom, especially when the hostile faction is formed.

Ros develops an arch-rivalry with Pili, one of the strongest hostile faction members, and as this occurs, she becomes further and further convinced that she must grow as strong and violent as Pili in order to protect her Kingdom.

During this time, Ros frequently goes to Aimsey for advice about pursuing the path of violence. Aimsey advises her to not lose herself to please people who hate her. In spite of this advice, Ros continues to strive to become more vicious, talking more and more with Bad and Pili.

The cycle of Ros coming to Aimsey for advice and then never listening to it continues, putting strain on Aimsey, who is forced to watch their best friend lose themselves despite all of their attempts to stop it.

This comes to a culmination when Aimsey finally confronts Ros about her insecurity, asking her if she would kill them if Bad/Pili said it would make them respect her. Ros replies that she doesn't know, and Aimsey challenges her to a duel. Ros kills them, and then is instantly killed by a zombie afterwards. (This stream happened Jan 11th, it was CRAZY, I highly reccomend you watch this bit)

After the duel, the two are a bit estranged, avoiding each other and having mostly stilted conversations. Aimsey is still decidedly loyal to Ros, though, and still speaks to her kindly.

Yesterday, Ros came to Aimsey to ask for their help with a massive trap to kill the hostile faction if they entered the castle again. An idea which she got from Bad. Aimsey, who has just lost to BadBoyHalo in giving Ros advice for the nth time, decides to change tactics and agree to help.

While working on the trap, they have some EXTREMELY tense and emotionally charged conversation, and Aimsey reaffirms that they just want Ros to be happy, and Ros states that she just wants to be able to protect the things she cares about. Also Ros reveals that she's been talking to Pili, and told him about the duel with Aimsey, information which Aimsey wanted to keep very private. Aimsey is very upset that Ros revealed such vulnerable information about them, just to earn more respect from Pili, but they push their emotions down again and try to stay cordial.

And on today's stream, Aimsey woke up to a front yard full of sunflowers, their favorite flower, left by a mysterious person. Later, Ros approaches Aimsey with a number of questions about How Aimsey's Doing and Their Thoughts on various matters. Ros is also acting incredibly cagey about some secret that she can't tell Aimsey

This is all very suspicious, but when Enemies of the State Pili and Pangi appear at Aimsey's door to check on Ros, who cannot explain why she is suddenly so close with Pili and Pangi, and is also freaking out attempting to explain while alluding to her secret. Aimsey, fed up with Ros not communicating with them and constantly proving herself unworthy of trust, shuts the door in her face and retreats to their basement to scream

[world-of-wales]

THE PRINCE OF WALES HAS GIVEN AN INTERVIEW AT THE END OF HIS OFFICIAL VISIT TO SOUTH AFRICA.

During the candid and emotional interview he admitted how the past few months had been ‘brutal’ due to the health scares The Princess of Wales and King Charles went through :

‘Honestly? It’s been dreadful. It’s probably been the hardest year in my life. So, trying to get through everything else and keep everything on track has been really difficult. But I’m so proud of my wife, I’m proud of my father, for handling the things that they have done. But from a personal family point of view, it’s been, yeah, it’s been brutal.’

Speaking about the Princess of Wales he said that :

‘She’s doing well. Doing well.’

Speaking about what it meant to host the awards in Africa, a continent he connects very deeply to as he spent time there following his mother's passing and it is the place he proposed to The Princess of Wales as well, he said :

'Hearing the Circle of Life. I don’t know about everyone else, but hearing the Lion King and things like that gets me quite emotional, So, when they started singing and I saw the clips from the top of Table Mountain and we were all there and it’s happened. I did feel quite emotional.'

He then spoke about his children watching the awards saying :

'I don’t know yet. I haven’t clocked in with them yet but I hope they did.'

William added of his relaxed demeanour in Cape Town this week :

'It’s interesting you say that ’cause I couldn’t be less relaxed this year, so it’s very interesting you’re all seeing that. But it’s more a case of just crack on and you’ve got to keep going. I enjoy my work and I enjoy pacing myself and keeping sure I have got time for my family too.'

He also spoke about his family's opinions on his beard :

'Well Charlotte didn’t like it the first time. I got floods of tears the first time I grew a beard, so I had to shave it off. And then I grew it back. I thought, hang on a second and I convinced her it was going to be okay'

He also spoke about his new role as the Prince of Wales and how he intends to 'royal' in a different way than his grandmother and father before him :

‘You mention the added responsibility and the freedom in the same sentence,’ he laughed. It’s a tricky one. Do I like more responsibility? No. Do I like the freedom that I can build something like Earthshot then yes. And that’s the future for me. It’s very important with my role and my platform, that I’m doing something for good. That I’m helping people’s lives and I’m doing something that is genuinely meaningful.’

William spoke about the BTS work that goes into setting up huge events like Earthshot successfully :

‘So, the Earthshot is a culmination if you like of all that put together. But it takes a lot of work, and there’s a lot of unseen stuff that goes on, a lot of meetings, a lot of people coming in, a lot of chatting and phone calls, letters, all trying to sort of make the Earthshot get to being the best possible entity it can be'

He talked about his frustrations over reluctance as well as more involvement from buisness & governments saying :

‘I’d like it to be more a team sport. And so, when you go and approach people...business...or even government...and say, listen, we’re building this incredible thing. Please come on board. Some people are extremely fast and keen to it. Others take a little bit longer and it’s those people who take a little bit longer, I’m like, guys, we just don’t have the time.'

'So, yes, I get a bit frustrated that it takes a long time to convince people that this is worthy of their attention. But I guess that’s the nature of a global environment prize, you start from scratch and it’s going to take a bit of time.'

On his hope for the solutions & the impact and his message to those who can invest, he said :

'So you guys have seen for yourselves the scale of the solutions. I mean, they cover all sectors in all walks of life. Brilliant people, some barely started, some been a bit more established and have a bit more money. But overall all doing fantastic work in the same direction. I think the key thing for us is how do we translate that into more impact, more scale, and ultimately, greater progress in tackling environmental challenges.’

On his hope for more involvement, ‘I definitely think so. We’re giving this amazing platform to all of them. And really it’s an amazing platform for business to come in and poach what they want. But if we keep waiting....we’re going to keep eating into time that we just don’t have. And so my message to business really is: hurry up and be courageous. Invest faster because we just don’t have that time.’

[nientedenada]

Five Skyrim Lore Facts You May Not Know!

And unlike some of the clickbait videos on Youtube, these ones are absolutely true. Let me address some of the most common lore confusions I regularly see. As a Listicle, because why not? (It's easier than writing out long lore posts.)

The Blades never served the Mede Empire. Martin was the last Emperor they served. They then devoted themselves to looking for a new Dragonborn and working against the Thalmor. Titus Mede I created a new organization called the Penitus Oculatus, which handled all intelligence and security for the Mede Dynasty. The Penitus Oculatus has been the official Imperial organization for more than 175 years, while the Blades have been an independent force. It makes the Mede decision to outlaw the Blades a lot easier to understand if you know they weren't their employees at all. The Blades were loose cannons they couldn't control.

Ysgramor didn't destroy the snow elves. The stories about Ysgramor say he and his 500 Companions showed up in Skyrim, killed or sent the snow elves into exile, took all of Skyrim, and then wandered over to pick fights with the neighbours. In reality, the Falmer weren't completely driven from Skyrim till the reign of King Harald, thirteen generations after Ysgramor. In the interim, there was a whole Dragon cult and war, culminating with Alduin being flung through the time wound. It's a long period. The real Ysgramor definitely clashed with his snow-elf neighbours but he's accumulated the stories of hundreds of years around his mythic name.

The Companions haven't been a Nord-only organization for a very long time. You might think that a bunch of warriors venerating the legacy of Ysgramor and his Companion would be Nord only, and that was probably true way back in the First Era. But by the end of the First Era, the Companions had boasted both a Redguard and Elf (Altmer or Bosmer) Harbinger. Cirroc and Henantier are some of the most famous Harbingers in the history of the Companions. We're in the Fourth Era now, so if you're playing a non-Nord, you're following in a long tradition by joining the companions. (As is Athis.)

The Imperial Legion didn't win back most of Cyrodiil in the Great War. People often ask why Titus Mede II agreed to the harsh peace of the White-Gold Concordat after his army had destroyed the Dominion army in Cyrodiil and taken back the Imperial City. But that's not what really happened. The Legion destroyed "the main army". Other Aldmeri armies are mentioned in Cyrodiil. After Red Ring, the Dominion still occupied Anvil, Skingrad, Bravil, and Leyawiin. "The Great War" doesn't say that any of these cities were liberated. Put those territories together and you'll realize the Empire never got back its coastline or the Niben river. Titus Mede made his deal while the Dominion still occupied half of Cyrodiil. Maybe he could have won if he'd pushed on, but his decision is a lot easier to understand with this context.

The Bretons Don't Worship Talos. This is one of my favourite lore bits to explain. Talos is not a god in TES II, Daggerfall, though he is a historical figure, Tiber Septim. He's only introduced as a god in Morrowind. So, a lot of people assume that he's been retconned into the Breton religion, like he was into the Nord/Imperial religions. This is not true. In both Morrowind and Skyrim, the book Varieties of Faith in the Empire does not list Talos/Ysmir as part of the Breton pantheon. They worship the Eight (and sometimes Y'ffre, Magnus, and Phynaster), as they always have. Tiber Septim is an important historical figure whom some Bretons regard as one of their own, but he isn't an official god. I love this tidbit because it makes the White-Gold Concordat absolutely brilliant. One remaining province, Skyrim, gets all upset while High Rock wouldn't care. Cyrodiil is presumably somewhere in the middle. It's a perfect way to drive a wedge among the provinces. (Hammerfell's left the Empire, but for the record, they don't worship Talos either.)

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

generally when looking at the way people turn prism into a mother figure on this site, the general (and admittedly, purely on a surface level, logical) thought process is something like:

prism is a mother figure towards her robots ➡️ prism invented phoenix's implant in the same way that she invented her robots ➡️ prism calls phoenix the best thing she's ever made, implying that she cares about them equally as much as her robots

when it comes to prism being a mother figure for her robots, the subject is... strange. the trope of black mothers is very nuanced and touchy, and it can be hard for a lot of people to understand why a portrayal is bad when it doesn't 'tick all the boxes' of a traditionally racist caricature.

for those who don't know, the robots initially weren't supposed to be in ieytd3 at all. the story was already completed by the time they were building puzzles and room layouts in unity, and the devs fell in love with the (at the time, way flatter) robutler prototypes, deciding after the fact to make them a larger part of the story.

this means that, originally, prism was never supposed to be a mother figure in any capacity. this, personally, is a green flag for me in regards to schell's interpretation. this means that instead of simply saying "let's have a black woman and turn her into a mother figure", schell instead said "we have this antagonist who we already have an established character arc for; we are introducing child-like robots into her life. how does that affect who she is as an established character?"

for those who don't know, one of the things that people like the least about black women being a mother figure is the fact that it's not just that they're turned into a mother, but that their entire life and personification suddenly becomes subservient. they're serving the 'child' figure, they're serving the 'father' figure, and they are suddenly incapable of wanting anything for themself, of having their own problems, of disagreeing, or of being a person in any capacity. they simply become a 'supporting role' to a character others perceive as more important.

this doesn't happen with prism and her robots. if anything, i feel as though prism's unique situation with her robots only accentuates her motifs as a character.

the robots aren't just important little creatures to her. they're hers. she made them. they are the culmination of years of dedication and effort put into her career. they're a manifestation of her intelligence, of her spite, of her determination in the face of adversity.

her robots are a little piece of her. and she treats that piece of herself the way she was never treated back at the agency- and probably even before then. her robots (in a literary context) are an extension of herself, which makes her parenting over them (again, in a literary context) more akin to her parenting over a younger/more fragile version of herself.

essentially, to boil it down, everything prism invests into her robots directly factors back into an investment in herself. just because she is a mother figure to the robots does not mean she is putting her life on pause in some pursuit of motherhood.

all i'm saying is that the same can not be said for a lot of interpretations i see of her being a 'mother figure' for phoenix.

ultimately, i'm not saying you have to stop, because even if i was saying that, nobody would care anyway. do what you want. it's your life. but what i am saying is maybe think about the reasons behind why you're making prism a mother figure to phoenix (occasionally interpreted as white, but it's not great even if they aren't), and a wife figure to reginald (who just is canonically white)

think about what this means for prism's characterization. are you using her as a stepping stool to prop up other characters? a support role with the depth of a shallow puddle?? because if so, maybe fucking stop it??

[fanfic-obsessed]

Fundemental Cultural Misunderstanding

Can I just say that there is so much humor potential in Star as far as cultural misunderstandings go. 

Try this AU on for size. 

-Note:Though it is not necessary for this idea, it is important to me for you to know that in this world Anakin did not slaughter the Tuskens. He reached Shimi in time to save her and his focus was getting her to safety. Thus his relationship with Padme is much healthier.-

Anakin on a fundamental, and somewhat deliberate, level misunderstands some parts of Jedi culture. He believes that Jedi cannot get married.  In this world, this is not true.  

Marriage in this Jedi culture includes a marriage bond between all parties that, if not set up correctly, can do a fair amount of damage (and even when set up correctly doesn’t provide more than a sense of the other person's physical condition and emotions; rarely bonded might be compatible enough that that they can track each other through the bond). This is particularly true if one of the parties is not Force sensitive, or one of the parties is particularly Force Sensitive. So there is a lot of pomp and ceremony around getting married in the Jedi tradition to make sure the bond is correctly set up. Also consent is such a large portion of Jedi culture, so extra pains are taken to make sure non force sensitives understand what such a bond might mean…to the point where it freaks out most non force sensitives.  This all culminates in, by the time of the prequels, most Jedi just don’t get married.

-It should also be noted that marriage as a legal institution and marriage as a cultural institution are actually two very different things, though they are often conflated. Marriage as a legal institution means absolutely nothing to Jedi, and in fact many cultures, because the rights granted by the legal institution of marriage either don’t apply to Jedi or are covered by other Jedi related laws.-

This is also misunderstood by the Galaxy at large.  Also, because of this misunderstanding most cultures do not discuss their marriage customs with Jedi, sure it might come up organically but no one thinks that this is a cultural norm that the Jedi need to know. Which means as much as the Galaxy misunderstands the Jedi’s marriage customs, the Jedi misunderstand most other cultures' marriage customs as well.  In fact the Jedi, through generations of a benign misunderstanding, believe that most cultures will not discuss their marriage customs with Jedi, so all they can go on is their own observations. 

Picture if you will, little padawans vibrating their way into the Archives, up to the nearest archivist, who drops everything because the little Padawan wants to report that they ATTENDED A WEDDING. 

This leads to the archives being chock full of conflicting information about the various marriage customs throughout the galaxy, because anything that happens at a wedding now becomes a TRADITION of that planet, even things might be just a preference of the people marrying, or even a happenstance. The Jedi have all collectively agreed that they are just gonna roll with it, no matter how strange the custom or if it contradicts anything else (It is not like they can get information directly from the source after all).

Now when Anakin got married to Padme, he thought that Jedi cannot marry.  He thinks that his elopement would have to be a secret. He does not realize that he broadcasted his joy at marrying Padme to every Force Sensitive in the galaxy (no seriously, there are Force Sensitives on planets that don’t even have space flight yet, on the other side of the galaxy that felt an abrupt and incomprehensible wave of utter joy-some of those were physiologically incapable of feeling joy like near humans and had to lay down for a while). Also, not that he realized it, the part of his Force Signature (which Jedi are taught in the creche how to read) that deals with identity flashed with the equivalent neon lighted dashboard in Times Square that he was ‘Mr. Padme Naberrie’ from that point forward. 

So when Anakin leaves on a mission, unmarried, and comes back very married, but clearly hiding it, it is quickly noticed. But no one thinks that it is Anakin who does not trust them. Of course not, he is family. They decide that this must be some heretofore unknown Naboo marriage TRADITION, elopement followed by hiding the marriage. 

No one, not a single jedi in 10,000, thought to ask Anakin directly. 

Several Archivists promptly write some very well written papers on this tradition, and how it fits into their other knowledge, basically filling in the gaps to create a tradition out of whole cloth (even though they are acting in earnest). 

The war still starts, with all that entrails. But every Jedi knows about Anakin’s ‘secret’ marriage. The little ones all giggle about it. Most are eagerly waiting for the tradition of hiding to be complete, because surely ‘The Man Without Fear’ and his wife would also want to marry in the Jedi tradition.  There was so little to be excited about these days that everyone bought into this notion, even those that had long decided they would not go through the process of the Jedi Marriage. 

The children in the creche insist on making decorations for the eventual Jedi Wedding.  In fact there were multiple sets of decorations, depending on where the happy couple wanted the ceremony performed. Just rooms and rooms of decorations and drawings and artwork of all kinds. 

The High Council, including Obi wan, started researching to make sure they knew all the steps and traditions for the Wedding backwards and forwards whenever they had the chance. The last time a Jedi Wedding had been performed was 200 years earlier and enough had happened since that even those who were alive during that time were a bit fuzzy on the details.  They wanted to be ready to support Anakin and Padme in any way possible.  Padme’s biometrics are quietly added to the Temple’s banks; ready to be activated as soon as the couple is ready. A plan is put together so that Padme can be quickly evacuated if there was an active threat against Anakin specifically, or Jedi adjacent beings in general. 

And the Archivists are practically having duels to see who would get to speak to the happy couple once the period of hiding is done. There is hope throughout the archives that maybe, if they ask really nicely, Padme would be willing to answer a few questions on Naboo marriage traditions (All the Archivists want to learn so badly, all they want to do is be able to learn. Can they please learn).

Perhaps if it had gone on much longer someone would have cottoned on to how stressed this secret was making Anakin. Maybe not.  Perhaps this world still could have ended in unimaginable tragedy. 

Perhaps in another world like this. In this world, we look to humor instead of horror. 

A little over a year into the war several of the youngling clans, ages ranging from about 4-6, got to go on a tour of the Senate.  One of the younglings (Age 4, species was Sabetue and was genderless) got separated and couldn’t find a clone guard or anyone they recognized. They were wandering and scared, but somehow made it up to the level where Padme’s office is. And the Youngling recognized Padme’s Force signature as Master Skywalker’s wife, so they knew they would be safe with her.  

So now Padme has a small Jedi child in her office. Thankfully she was not in a meeting. She manages to get a hold of the Guard, who send up two of creche masters, who had been beside themselves with worry.  While in her office the child said things that made it clear that the child knew about Padme’s marriage to Anakin and how they couldn’t wait to see how pretty she would be in the Jedi Wedding.  One of the Crechemasters very gently reminded the child that Anakin and Padme might decide not to get married in the Jedi Tradition, that it had to be their choice and followed up with:

“And if we forced them…”

The child piped back with a solemn “we would be meanies”

One of the creche masters brought the child back down to the group while the other remained behind. First to thank Padme for finding their lost child. Then also to apologize for the child breaking the Hiding Tradition, expressing a hope that this would not have any negative impact on Padme’s marriage. 

The Crechmaster seemed so proud at saying ‘Hiding Tradition’ that Padme did not have the heart to tell them that she had no idea what they were talking about (they are very proud of remembering what the Archivists were calling this tradition).  They continue to have a brief conversation where Padme learned a number of things:

The Jedi, every single one of them, knew about Padme’s marriage.

They are all, every single one of them, actively supportive instead of the at best disapproving she thought they would be.

The Jedi somehow believe that Padme and Anakin are hiding their marriage over a Naboo Tradition

There are rooms full of crafts created specifically to decorate for her wedding in the Jedi Tradition created by hordes of earnest younglings. 

The Jedi are very into consent. 

Anakin is not due back on Coruscant for another week, and during that week Padme made discrete inquiries (oddly enough these are actually discrete) that told her nothing important about what was going on and driving her to distraction. So Anakin comes back to Padme nearly screaming at him ‘Why do the Jedi think we are hiding our marriage over a Naboo tradition?’

Anakin very much does not know but suggests that they ask the Chancellor (Anakin has very much been conditioned by the Chancellor to turn to him first in any instance of confusion).

Padme stares at him for a moment, tells him that is a stupid idea and to call Obi Wan.

Anakin does not want to call Obi Wan. He does not want to tell Obi Wan about their marriage and get in trouble. 

Padme stares at him with the dead eyes of someone dealing with too much ridiculous information at once, then says ‘Call Kenobi’.

Anakin obeys. 

Obi Wan comes over, they all sit down and Padme very calmly tells Obi Wan that she and Anakin are married. Obi Wan immediately begins radiating blinding excitement.  He congratulates them and starts to ask about having a Jedi wedding before deflating again and asking if not pretending he was surprised would ruin anything. He offers to go out and they can do it again, he can pretend to be shocked. 

Padme reassures him. Anakin starts to express his surprised (in a way that would have made it really clear about why he was hiding his marriage) but Padme quickly interrupts him, asking about Jedi Wedding traditions and lets Obi Wan ramble really happily about the research that the High Council had been doing to make sure they can recreate those traditions if Padme and Anakin want.

Obi Wan leaves with a promise that Padme and Anakin would come to speak with the High Council to make sure all the legalities (making sure everything is set up so that Padme can come and go as she pleases at the temple, and have a login to access the Archives, and would it be possible for her to come in for a baseline check up so that medical their records are up to date) are taken care of. As soon he is gone Padme grabs Anakin by the collar and goes ‘we can never tell them’

Anakin goes ‘what?’ 

‘We can never tell the Jedi why we were hiding our marriage. I’ll contact my parents as soon as it is morning on Naboo. They can back us up. We can say it is an old family tradition to hide the marriage for the first year. It isn’t used much, but after being in the public eye and with the War I was feeling superstitious, ok?’

Anakin goes ‘What, Why?’

Padme shakes at the arm in her hand, ‘telling the other Jedi that you didn’t trust them with your marriage would break their hearts. Do you want to be the reason small children are crying?’

Anakin looked far too considering for Padme's piece of mind, and what little sanity she had left. 

‘Let me put it this way, do you want to be what finally break’s Obi wan’s heart? That man was vibrating with excitement to celebrate our wedding so hard I could feel in the Force.’

Anakin deflated, ‘Oh. No.’

Padme’s parents laugh their ass off that she needs to create a long held family tradition because she doesn’t want to admit to the Jedi that she had thought they would react badly to her marriage.  They agree to do it. 

<Somehow this does derail Palpatine’s plans. Personally I want it to be in a way that leaves people unaware that he is a Sith, so for the rest of his life he needs to maintain the kindly old grandpa look and suffer for it- maybe something that means he has to actually live a clean life; no more crime or torturing for him.>

Twenty four years later Obi Wan helps Leia Naberrie meet up with Han Solo in order to Elope in the long held family tradition (Bringing with them only R2 to follow the actual tradition closer than they realize). Obi Wan very carefully leaves before Han arrives, so that he can truthfully say he does not know that they eloped. 

Leia’s twin Luke does not need to elope, as he followed his Uncle Obi Wan into the Jedi (an unrelated note he also followed Obi Wan into the mindset of ‘Why Monogamy when Harems naturally occur’-From that day the war ends Obi Wan has no less than three clones with him at all times; he also appears to have a lover, a friend, or an antagonist that he has weirdly sexual dialogue with on every planet he visits. Or Hondo Ohnaka, who has a category all his own. The years that Boba Fett comes to the holiday meals as one of Luke’s plus 6’s-He couldn't choose just one and no one would think of making him- are among the most awkward of most of their lives.)

[sozzledjuja]

me ranting about what i need to see in season 3

(yeah, it's pretty long)

The important/plot twists/character development

Iris and Praxina being the focal points of the season

Remember, Praxina was created to be an anti-Iris, so there’s no better season than this one to explore that. 

Main conflict: Praxina is convinced Iris is responsible for Mephisto’s death (Iris didn’t kill Mephisto, it was a culmination of events that led to it, but Praxina needs a scapegoat, someone to dump her anger and grief on, because she can’t cope with loss in a healthy, non-destructive way). So, she is set on making Iris lose the people she cares about (Nathaniel, and also probably her friends), to make her feel the way she does.

The vision I have for these two in season 3 is that their actions will be correlated, each making the other do unspeakable things over accumulated resentment and hurt and grief, in a vicious cycle. Then somewhat meet in the middle at the end. Maybe…

Iris becoming more and more paranoid

Iris getting nervous everytime she sees a butterfly, for example. Very worried that she’s going to lose Nathaniel, her friends, her parents, or Ellira, at any moment. Makes her sometimes not be very rational. 

Maybe it will affect her relationship with Nathaniel too. Maybe she’ll think that in order to keep him safe from Praxina, she has to distance herself from him.

BECAUSE I WANT THIS GIRL TO GET SOME ARC TOO. Allow her to be angry, do questionable things, be flawed, be scared.

Guilt over Mephisto’s death

This one is for both Iris and Praxina. 

Because while Iris doesn’t have much to do with Mephisto’s death, I don’t doubt that part of her will start doubting it, wondering if everything that’s happening is, in fact, her fault. 

And Praxina, who didn’t appreciate her brother while he was right there next to her, finally realizing how much she actually needed him. You know what they say, you only truly appreciate someone after you lose them. AND THE GUILT-

More interactions between Iris and her parents

I just really really want this. And to learn more about the King and Queen of Ephedia. Because it has so much potential for added inner conflict inside Iris’ head. 

Because if you really think about it, the King and Queen of Ephedia are just strangers to her, who just so happened to be her birth parents. But weren’t the ones who raised her, who were there for her her whole life. Ellira was.

Not that it’s their fault. Not at all. They made a sacrifice to keep her safe. I know they would’ve done anything to see their little girl grow up. And Iris knows this, and I think, for a while, she’s going to feel a bit guilty for seeing Ellira as more of a parental figure than them. 

Also, I feel like Iris’ parents would never resent Ellira for this, but I do think they will be a little hurt. 

Iris attempting and failing to balance her Earth life with her Ephidean one

Because she will definitely be going back and forth between the two worlds, trying to keep everything balanced. Her social life with her friends on Earth, her relationship with Nathaniel, the band, her princess duties, the rebuilding of Ephedia, royal ceremonies, etc…

And if she had trouble before, I can’t imagine now.

Iris not being sure if she wants to become the future queen of Ephidea

Let’s face it. It was all really pretty and fun while they had the goal to defeat Gramorr and free Ephidea. No need to think about what would happen next, because even that was a big “if”. 

Now, Iris is finally gonna have to come to terms with the fact that she is THE future heir to the throne, But is she even fit to lead a whole kingdom? Does she even want to? Won’t that mean she’ll have to leave her Earth life behind? Nathaniel?

The King and Queen not approving of Iris’ relationship with Nathaniel

Not because they dislike him, or simply because he is human (they don’t seem like that kind of people), but because they want to protect their daughter from getting hurt. Not from him. But from having to inevitably let him go eventually. Again, she is the future queen. She has responsibilities on Ephidea, not on Earth.

Also, there’s this whole question line of “do ephideans live longer than earthlings?”. Because I feel like that's also relevant to this point.

Praxina slowly descending into madness (bonus points if physical corruption)

Her madness trip should be a linear thing, getting worse and worse each episode. 

More towards the end PLEASE fuck up her face a bit. Not necessarily permanently but like- I wanna see this girl with one side of her face corrupted with dark magic (we saw Gramorr underneath the mask), eyes red, going full eldritch abomination mode.

Her crying while laughing hysterically and maniacally AT LEAST ONCE please please.

Also, not to be that person, but she’s gonna be so hot that season, istg I’m not prepared.

What the fuck is up with those butterflies?????

Imma be real rn. I’m begging for the creators NOT to pull a Hawkmoth on Praxina. Let the butterflies be spies only, there’s no need for much else. If they make the butterflies mind control people, I'm gonna lose it. This isn’t miraculous 2.0.

Iris’ Shanilla form going batshit on Praxina/Big Final Battle

Because if Praxina does manage to kill someone or several people Iris loves, even if only temporarily (yall know this show is for kids, no one's dying permanently - though it would be cool to see a darker narrative), Iris is gonna lose it, and I expect a full dark shanilla mode. Going absolutely off the rails on Praxina, and then having an “oh shit, what am I doing?” moment.

Banes being shady and the true mastermind aka Final Boss

I want to see the build up to this, how he stays in Praxina’s shadow and “helps” her, making her feel like she’s in control, when she’s not.

And I fully believe Banes had his eye on her even before Gramorr was defeated. Not long before, but when there was only one gem left to complete the crown of Ephedia, and he started to suspect Gramorr’s chances at winning were slim, he definitely started to plot his next “puppet”.

Zenavion/Banes?????

Zenavion was mentioned once, but whyyyy??? My guess is that Banes is Zenavion. Or belonged to Zenavion/was his creation. But I’m leaning more towards the first one. Maybe he got himself turned into an entity of dark magic after years of meddling with power he shouldn’t have, leaving him stuck in that feline form with only a fraction of the power he once had? Sounds super interesting and would make for a great Final Boss.

What is his goal? Maybe to return to his full power and autonomy? Maybe he needed the power of the crown of Ephedia for that. 

That would explain why he picked Gramorr, who was in the same circles as the royal family, at the time.

Also Praxina blaming Iris, the princess of Ephedia, and future heir to the throne, for her brother’s death, and blaming her for it? Also very convenient that she was a young girl who had just lost her only support, and was completely alone and vulnerable. Easy to manipulate.

Gramorr’s backstory

I need it. For someone who was the main villain for two whole seasons, he sure got no depth at all. Which was kinda disappointing. Hope this season clears everything up. 

Perhaps Banes manipulated him and he never realized it? What were his initial motivations? His past? Also what was the deal with him and the royal family? With Morgane? I bet all those people have a lot to say and explain about him.

The mask

I’m sure Zenavion created it, centuries ago. I want to know how it works, how much it controls the user, how fast it corrupts them, why it was created in the first place, and how it ended up in Gramorr’s hands in the first place.

Also wouldn’t it be so cool if the current user of the mask had access to the memories of the previous users??? That way we could get Gramorr’s backstory through Praxina, like YES.

The yellow gem thingie????

The gem in Gramorr’s hand that was pierced by Iris in the finale, is now on Praxina’s chest. Do with that information what you will.

Big Betrayal moment between Banes and Praxina

Gramorr/Praxina parallels

Cause it’s inevitably gonna happen. Maybe he promises her a way to bring Mephisto back. But it’s all a ploy to get her to do horrible things for him, to allow him to return to his true form, and has nothing to do with Mephisto.

Girl is gonna be played big time. 

Because now they’re kinda connected, with Praxina being manipulated by Banes the same way Gramorr probably was, in the past. And both ultimately got betrayed by him.

Praxina getting a long deserved reality-check

Because as much as I love her, she needs someone to spew some hard truths on her. It IS her fault. She IS a bad person, and a bad sister. And in order to get redeemed, she needs to confront that.

Izira’s medallion????

Anyone remember how the one object with immense power and the ability to TURN BACK TIME literally fell down a cliff during the final battle with Gramorr? Because I sure do. 

And this could be a super irrelevant thing, but I do think it’s interesting that it fell in roughly the same place where Mephisto would have (hypothetically wink wink). 

Don’t know what they’d do with this necessarily, but it has the potential to be a very important plot point.

Mephisto being alive (duhhhh)

As long as it’s not shown from the beginning. I feel like Praxina’s whole arc would be much more satisfactory if he was only revealed to be alive, halfway through the season or later, in the very end. Note that when I say “revealed to be alive”, I mean, to us, the people watching the show, not to Praxina. She should only know this at the end of the season. For the plot.

Mephisto donning the scars and maybe some type of disfiguration on the side of his body that took the blast. It would make sense for him to be able to teleport, but the half of his body that was leaning more towards the energy source took most of the blow).

Mephisto having his own mini character arc, away from the main conflict

He probably needs to heal from the blast, and that would be hard for him, both physically and mentally. If part of his face/body gets “burned” by the blast, my boy is definitely not gonna take it like a champ at first.

Also, I’ve said this before, but I don’t think he’d go look for Praxina immediately after he’s doing better. Not because he doesn’t care about her, or doesn’t miss her, but because he thinks she doesn’t need him and is better off without him.

Iris (finally) telling Nathaniel the truth

I’d like to see him struggle with something like this, maybe meet some new characters and form connections with other people. It’s a great opportunity for him to mature and learn who he really is, outside of Gramorr’s or his sister’s shadow. An opportunity to atone for his mistakes, and make up for it. He was, and a lot of people forget, a war criminal.

Sibling reunion

I want tears and a proper hug, and Praxina completely falling apart. Bonus points if she doesnt want to believe it's actually him at first, because that would be too good to be true. They're both fucked up, both physically and mentally, but they're together at last.

And him NOT forgetting it right afterwards.

Everything that is important but isn’t necessary for the plot

THE TWINS’ BACKSTORY

We all know this is the one thing that actually matters. And I will lose my shit when it does. 

Gimme them happy flashbacks followed by the deadly pain.

And this needs to be a WHOLE episode worth of flashbacks. Like a whole flashback episode. They deserve that much.

Also who the hell is Pappy?

Mephisto’s staff!!!

Unimportant but uhh, if it’s so powerful, a lot could be done with it. And it’s probably still in the cave hideout. Praxina could get her hands on it.

Also how did he get it in the first place?

Explanation of the magic system

Worldbuilding/Ephidea lore

I want this so badly. I wanna meet more kingdoms, see how they look, what other colors represent them, the cultures, the people, etc…

I’m a sucker for this, and no one can deny that they got confused as fuck when the supposed “voice-based” powers, only actually matter in the first episode and then got dropped completely. Yeah, I know, the writers probably forgot. But please just make up a convenient connection to fill in that plot hole. This show needs to fix these damn plot holes.

Ephidea still very much being in shambles, and in need of rebuilding

Cause it can’t be that easy to put a whole planet back on track after a 15+ year old war, neither physically nor politically.

I wanna see meetings between all kingdom leaders, discussions on how to proceed, the release of war prisoners, etc… 

Oh, and the imprisonment and persecution of any of Gramorr’s former associates.

Backstory on how Talia and Auriana first met

I need it. And also an explanation on why they were the ones chosen to go to Earth, and find and train Iris, and WHO chose them for that mission exactly. 

Also, how did they even know Iris was on Earth? Fix these plot holes fr.

More of Auriana’s family

HELL YEAH 32 SISTERS. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, CHARACTER DESIGNERS. 

No, because I really need to meet them, and see what their dynamic is like. Also more of Jodan please. And their parents.

Also, the 34 children cannot be all fully blood related, can they? CAN THEY?

What happened to Talia’s parents? 

We haven’t seen them ever, so I’m assuming they’re dead.

More Izira

I just need more of her in general.

Also, she’s the heir to the throne of Xeris, and if her parents are dead, she is gonna have to fill it.

I fully expect an Izira coronation episode. Just imagine, new outfits for everyone.

The less important/cameos/things i wanna see just for funsies

New daily outfits

And I mean this in a “completely drop the old ones” kinda way. Not because I don’t like them, but because I feel that, with all that’s changing in the show, now that the same formulaic plot has finally broken, the outfits should also change. To indicate a new era of sorts.

New songs/new concert outfits, etc…

Me like it.

Talia’s ghost powers

They just dropped this plot point like; whatt????

I just want a little more light in this. Some Talia backstory as well, because we know she was bullied for it when she was a kid.

Also, I wanna meet the only other princess with this ability.

Have Talia and Praxina met before the start of the show???

It’s been pointed out several times that Praxina seems to know an awful lot about Xeris, and even possesses some Xerian artifacts and scrolls. Why and how did she get her hands on it? And it would make sense if Mephisto also seemed to know these things, but he doesn’t.

Also, they seem to have some underlying tension. Which could be simply because- well, they’re on opposite sides and hate each other?? Would be perfectly plausible. Or maybe they’ve met each other before. How and when? I wouldn’t know.

A musical episode???

Because wdym you have all these talented voice actors that sang in My Little Pony, and fucking BARBIE (don’t forget Praxina IS Barbie. They have the same voice actress), and never once have we heard ANY of them sing with their actual voices. 

Also it would be so fun for a change. Please, just one, I’m begging you.

A little more of Carissa and Lyna

Hear me? A little. Not a lot. 

I know a lot of people love them, and so do I, but I really don’t want them to join the gang permanently. Definitely not join the band. This ain’t winx club.

Jk, but actually I’m not.

Still, I do want to learn a bit more about them, some backstory insights, their families, how they met each other, etc…

What happened to Lev?

Is he actually dead? Or did he manage to escape and joined the resistance? I just need some confirmation.

Because if he is alive, he’s gonna be helping rebuild Ephidea for sure. It's gonna be interesting to see the dynamic he’s gonna have with Iris, in this scenario.

But just like with Lyna and Carissa, to me, personally, he is not a priority.

I would love for these characters to be explored more if there was a fourth season, but I just feel like, in season 3, there are just so many more important things to touch upon, and so many new things happening, that too many unnecessary details would make it lose impact.

A “Raffle Daffle” twins’ cameo

Just a small one. For funsies. They kinda just disappeared after that one episode (and thank god for that, because I hated them)

Kyle (blergh)

Please make him disappear. Or at least end things between them. Or end whatever there is between them. I’m not even asking for a big dramatic moment, just a “oh, this isn’t gonna work out” blah blah blah.

Or, you know, just him not showing up at all and everyone forgetting about him.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Buck (and Eddie) mini meta - 7x10 (probably but could also be 7x09!)

I was going to make a quick post about this new shirt we have bts pictures of Buck and Eddie wearing - but well, I spiralled and it turned into this!! (under the cut to save your dash!)

So let's do Eddie first shall we!!

there are actually two shirts we've got bts of Eddie wearing which have me 👀👀👀

first up is this green number we have bts of him wearing at the firehouse (not 100% sure if this is an actual costume or just Ryan's clothes but I'm fairly sure it's an Eddie outfit!)

Why am I side eyeing so hard at this do you ask? well its a very similar shirt to the one we have seen him in before - in 5x13 when he has his break down. Its not the same, but similar - no cut off sleeves, but its the same army green.

We see this tee at he culmination of Eddie isolating himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) through the start of 5b and then blowing up his life in 5x13 - when he trashes his room and Chris calls Buck.

I think we're about to see something similar play out in the last couple of episodes of season 7 - Eddie increasingly choosing to isolate himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) as he spirals out with this vertigo arc. Ryan has said in interviews that Eddie will be isolated by the end of the season, this costume therefore parallels Eddies arc of 5b - especially if we include the use of white on Eddie as well (and Buck in Blue in the same scene!). Eddie does something drastic and then pretends everything is ok - before proceeding to spiral out and blow up his life in some way.

5x11 - we have the aftermath of Eddie leaving he 118 - dinner with Buck and Taylor when he and Buck have a mini disagreement about Eddie coming back to work - which is preceeded by us being shown how Eddie is not actually ok - leading in to 5x13 when Eddie has his breakdown whilst wearing an army green tee and Buck breaks down the door to get to him and literally steps in to the mess, bringing the 118 into help as well (represented by Bobby being there when Eddie wakes up).

Then we have season 7 - the aftermath of Eddie asking Marisol to move in with him and then it is made clear that Eddie has moved too fast, that he doesn't actually know Marisol, or ultimately feel comfortable with the relationship - and now we've watched him (still in white in the scene where he sees Kim) spiralling out and heading towards isolating himself in the same way he did in season 5. The use of a similar army green tee in 7x10 suggests that we're going to see something similar unfold as things come to a head in the vertigo arc. Im especially intrigued because Buck it seems is going to be in uniform for the scene (which side note plays into the Buck and Eddie blue green colour palette they've been using and in a reverse of the gym scene from 7x05!) we don't know where in the episode this scene falls, but my guess would be that its actually a scene from earlier in the episode - allowing for the blow up to happen and the fall out begin. (I also think this because of Helena and Ramon appearing - which I think will be later in the episode and in response to Kim's existence being more widely known about, but thats just me speculating!)

We do also have the t-shirt from 7x01 - which is not the same as the other two - its darker and more brownish than the two above, but it does play into a similar narrative - Eddie finding out about Chris and his multiple girlfriends and Buck stepping in (at Eddies request this time) to help and support the Diaz boys!

Eddie outfit two!

Then we have this outfit - which is contrary to popular belief, not the will reveal outfit, but actually the Ana as Eddies girlfriend reveal to Chris outfit.

The two outfits are very similar, but the will reveal outfit is a navy blue shirt (which is important as it plays into both blue/green and blue/yellow theory - which gains even more significance now we know that it is likely this was meant to be the beginning of at the very least a queer narrative for Buck and the implication is that it would've been the beginning of buddie canon) this shirt and the Ana reveal shirt are both black and have silver eyelets on the shirt opening

For me, the fact that it is the same outfit as that reveal rather than the will reveal is suggestive that this outfit is in some way going to be connected to the reveal of Kim. In the same way that the Ana reveal outfit is connected to two scenes

- Eddie telling Chris and the salad bowl getting smashed,

- Eddie realising Chris has gone missing only to find out he's run to Buck's

I feel like this one is also likely to be connected to two scenes - what they are and where this hospital scene fits within the wider episode, it is hard to fully form ideas on the full meaning behind the fact that he is wearing the same outfit. Because does this scene come before or after the arrival of Helena and Ramon, what is the connection to Bobby being in the hospital and Eddie wearing this outfit? My personal opiion is that this outfit is going to be involved in people finding out about Kim.

As an addition to this, we should also talk about the fact that Eddie always wears black in relation to key scenes with Marisol and Kim and it continues a trend of Eddie wearing black in key scenes in relation to his relationships.

When Eddie and Marisol meet at the hardware store he is in black, when asking her to move back out, black shirt. Then with Kim -both scenes with her when he talks to her he is in black - black shirt in the store and a black jacket when they go on their date.

He was also wearing Black in key moments with Shannon (divorce request scene as well as in flashbacks) and with Ana ( first meeting and panic attack scenes). I've spoken before about the choice to put him in a black singlet when he's in an emotionally vulnerable place, but with these additional scenes in mind, as well as the fact that we see him wearing black in the hospital during Bucks coma, as well as the fact we also get a similar shirt on Eddie back in 7x01.

I think its fair to associate black more generally with Eddie being in a vulnerable place emotionally - the singlets are just worn at points when those vulnerable moments are about to tip Eddie into something stupid and this makes the use of the singlet in 7x04 for the basketball game even more interesting as it places Eddie into emotional vulnerability around Bucks bi journey and less about Bucks own emotional vulnerability - plays a little into the idea that they were going to have Eddies queer journey come before Bucks!

From a purely speculative position - my feeling is that this outfit comes after the arrival of Helena and Ramon and possibly towards the end of the episode.

The fact Eddie is wearing it at the hospital is possibly important, but I get the feeling it will be an outfit with more than one key scene attached to it (much like Eddie being in a black shirt when Buck came out to him was in two key scenes - Bucks coming out and Eddie asking Marisol to move out).

In the same way that in season 4 the Ana reveal was paired with a scene where Chris runs to Buck my feeling is that we're going to see something similar in season 7 with this - further adding to the parallels between the two seasons (see this excellent post by @iinryer for more on those!).

Part of my thinking comes from the fact we had this other bts of Buck, Eddie, Chris and Helena and Ramon. So we know that Eddie will be wearing a maroon henley for a scene in this episode.

I've spoken about Eddie wearing maroon long sleeved tops in relation to things being about Chris and Eddie parenting, and this one is likely to follow that theme, especially with Chis seemingly wearing the same outfit he was wearing when the fact he had multiple girlfriends was revealed.

The fact that buck is in a reverse outfit to the one from his discussion with Chris after that reveal (navy blue bottoms and yellow ochre top v yellow ochre bottoms and navy blue top), suggests to me that the are trying to do a couple of things here - they are flipping the scene - so it is still about a multiple girlfriends reveal, just Eddies rather than Christophers. It is also possibly a way to contrast the fact they set up Buck as sitting in parallel to Shannon (from both a costuming and directorial perspective), now they are reversing it and setting them in juxtaposition with one another - playing on the concept of one being alive while the other is dead and contrasting the actual reality of Eddies life with Eddies rose tinted version of things - the version he's trying to recreate with a doppelgänger.

Onto Buck

The shirt that changes colour depending on which picture you look at - is it brown and cream or dark greyish brown and blue/grey?!!

My personal feeling is that it will look more brown and cream on camera, but that we might see a little bit of the blue pinstripe come through! This means we need to not only look at Buck in pinstripes, but also when he has worn brown!

So lets look at when we've seen Buck wear brown!

We have 2x05 - a scene where Maddie is ranting about Gloria calling her constantly. In this scene Buck is in a brown marl tee (you'll have to take my word for it - I ran out of pictures and this one was the least important!), personally I don't think it fits into the narrative as it is a tee rather than a shirt or jacket, so I'm not including it in my wider anaylsis!

We get Brown sports jacket Buck - in 3x04 when he delivers the results of the 118's assessment and discovers Lena filing his space - Buck gets jealous and a little mad. (had to include the still where Edie is checking out Bucks ass because it will never not be funny and now has the added layers to it`!)

one episode later and we get more brown in the divorced buddie era 1.0 supermarket arguement of 3x05.

Things go quiet on the brown front for Buck until 4x14 and the 'it would've been better if it had been me who got shot' scene - this is is a borderline brown - it sits in the yellow ochre spectrum, but is closer to brown than yellow! This, like the last tine he wore brown, comes in the aftermath of Buck doing something stupid (climbing the crane)

Then Buck doesn't wear any brown in season 5, so its on to season 6 where we have 6x04 and this russet brown (which is a reddish brown) which Buck wears when Connor pays him a visit regarding the sperm donation.

Then later in the same season - 6x18 - we have the most recent Buck in brown sighting - when he is talking to Connor once more about Kameron being at his loft. with the added bonus of this being veritcally ribbed making it look like stripes!

As you can see we only see Buck wear brown in very specific moments and they tend to come in pairs - we get bright russety browns in the build up to Buck doing something stupid followed by a darker more muddy brown in the aftermath (in both s2 and s6). Only the one from season 4 doesn't fit the pattern as it doesn't have a pair.

But while events in seasons 3 and six are essentially of Bucks making - he sets things in motion - season 4 is not - Buck is not the instigator, he is a bystander dropped into the middle of something, if anything the fact his brown has yellowish undertones plays into its having a reverse effect - that it is the same as the russet browns - setting something in motion, but its pair is the brighter yellow ochre shirt from the will reveal - which sits in opposition to the darker browns - its not something Buck needs or wants to try and fix - its more of an affirmation of Bucks belonging and not something he needs to fight for.

I've spoken before in various meta's about brown being a colour of stability support and protection. it is also a colour of wisdom and counsel - and I think all of these will come into play with this new shirt in some capacity, because to put Buck in brown at this point is definitely a choice with intention behind it.

Now onto Buck in vertical stripes!

We'll do the light ones first. It's still insane to me that the first time we ever see Buck in vertical stripes is the shooting scene in 4x13.

Then ten episodes later, in 5x13 we see the next white striped shirt and its when Taylor is moving into the loft. These are the only two we have in a white and black/grey colour way.

The next time we see light stripes is in 6x01 - only now they are cream and blue rather than white and black/grey - when Buck moves his armchair and decides he doesn't need a couch .

Followed by 6x08 when Buck is in Uncle Buck mode and looking after Jee and being given the run around by her - again cream and blue.

The last Buck in light shirts with stripes sighting is from 7x05 - when he meets with Tommy for coffee, this time its cream with black and red stripes.

Then we have a couple of outliers - this light blue jacket from 6x01

and this grey one from 6x09

Then we have the dark ones!

This one from 4x14 when Taylor appears back on his doorstep after the shooting and kissing him

This one from 5x09 - the most awkward 'I love you' scene in the history of mankind

6x04 when he tells Conor and Kameron that he will be their sperm donor

in 6x07 we get two - both when he is trying to donate sperm and not being successful in this endeavour

in 6x17 we see him in this shirt when Maddie comes by for help with getting her stuck engagement ring off

and finally we have Buck and Tommys first date - which ends in failure.

and now we have a brown and cream/blue one joining the mix!

I've written before about Bucks vertically striped shirts - in various episode metas, as well as a separate post which is linked on my pinned post under Buck, But I'm going to talk about them again because he just keeps on wearing them at really interesting moments!

Buck seems to wear them at moments when he is essentially ‘imprisoned’ by something mentally - at moments when he either steps forwards or backwards in his self development, or stays in stasis - and which of these it is, is determined by the colour of the shirt and the stripes. The lighter ones are connected to moving forward and ultimately escaping, while the darker ones are about Buck being trapped and moving in the wrong direction.

Starting with the white shirts - I know on the face of it, it isn't easy to see either of the white shirts with black pinstripes as Buck moving forward, but while the scenes they are worn in themselves may not seem to be freeing, the resulting actions - the will reveal for the first one and the second one reveals Bucks true thoughts on his and Taylors relationship and thus marks the beginning of the end, I mean obviously the kiss is the actual moment that marks the beginning of the end but this moment - when he is talking to Maddie, the audience is made aware that Buck really and truly isn't all in with Taylor and that he has imprisoned himself - his ability to recognise that - the fact he is able to verbalise that he is afraid of being left - that is the moment of growth and escape for him.

The unhappy moments, the moments when he is regressing or clinging are signified by the black shirts with white or silver pinstripes.

With Taylor the two scenes we get black shirts with pinstripes are connected to Buck being in trauma response mode - the first in the aftermath of the shooting - starting a relationship when he's in a super raw place - his best friend has been shot and he's looking after said best friends son and climbing cranes to try and protect the rest of his found family (also adding Maddie's impending PPD to this as well as the Daniel of it all although those are less central in this moment in time).

Then the second one comes in the 'I kinda love you for it' scene - and off the back of Buck feeling and fearing that he is being left - that Taylor is pulling away from him.

The three all connected to the sperm donation all play into the narrative that Buck hasn't thought the sperm donation through fully - that the universe is screaming at him and he's trapping himself in a prison - we do see some of that play out as the season progresses when he becomes embroiled in Conor and Kameron's marriage and pregnancy dramas when his part in it all should've been done.

The scene with the stuck ring is a scene very much about Maddie but Buck does drop himself in it on two fronts - the ring cutter and in letting Maddie know that Hen and Chim had an arguement over Chim proposing to Maddie.

Buck and Tommys first date - again a prison of Bucks own making - this shirt very much plays into the disastrous nature of the date - with Bucks 'I'm and Ally' and comment about going to 'find chicks'

Then we have the shirts that somewhere in the middle. - the blue one from 6x01 where we have a Buck doing some mental self torture trying to work out why he’s been passed over for the interim Captain job but finally figuring it out,

The three cream ones are all essentially the cure for the previous, darker stripes - they play into the idea that Buck is learning and growing - in a way he wasn't when it was just black and white shirts and stripes from seasons 4 and 5 when we got a white shirt followed soon after by a black shirt (4x13 - White - 4x14 - black) or vice versa (5x09 - black - 5x13 - white).

We have 6x01 with the blue then cream - Buck in a mental prison around what he wants in life, but choosing to embrace being on his own and seeing where life takes him by the end of the episode. 6x04 and 6x07's navy blues connected to the sperm donation arc followed by 6x08's cream and blue one of the very real children in his life - one who he gets to be an active part of watching grow up. 7x04's navy date shirt one followed by 7x05's cream, black and red shirt when Buck requests and is granted a do over with Tommy

So how is this brown and cream one going to fit in? Well that is the million $$$$ question isn't it! My feelings are that it's going to fit in with the pattern and have a reverse one to go with it. Now I have two theories - the first is that its actually the brown pair to the one from season 4 - that its going to connect into Buck's statement that it would've been better for Chris if he'd been the one hurt - and therefore connect into the will of it all, playing on the concept of Chris (and Buck) finding out about Kim - connecting Eddies outfit into the equation - and lead to Buck once again stepping up to look after or support Chris in some capacity (maybe we'll get a parallel of Chris running to Buck after finding out about Ana and have Chris running to Buck after finding out about Kim, who knows!).

The other option is that we'll only see the pair to this brown striped shirt later down the line - whether we see that before the end of the season or have to wait for the start of season 8 I do't know - it really depends on how they close out this season and the Buck and Eddie arcs.

I'd like to think the fact that its brown and therefore means stability, support, protection and wisdom, means that it will be connected to Buck discovering Eddies cheating and then stepping up to support him and Chris through the fall out (after perhaps taking a moment to consider things) and that it is tied into the season 4 parallels, but I guess we'll all have to wait and see!

Essentially all of Bucks striped and or brown tops have a pair and play on the idea of light and dark to varying degrees as well as the concept of being trapped or imprisoned by some form of traumatic event.

Hopefully this makes sense and that you've enjoyed reading this deep dive into Bucks stripes and Eddies wearing of black! I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

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@chaosandwolves

[thehiddendooronserpentinesteps]

THE UNKISS – A KISS THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED - PART 1.

This is probably my main theory, that I have not seen discussed, anywhere.

But if you encountered this theory anywhere else, please, please, let me know. :)

ABOUT THE UNKISS - THE KISS THAT HAPPENED

As everybody knows, Sansa has a very complex relationship with the Hound, which starts in AGoT, and develops in ACoK. It culminates in the famous Blackwater scene (ACoK Sansa VII). Sandor, incredibly drunken, exhausted and stressed out of the battle, frightened by the fire, humiliated by Tyrion, leaves the battlefield. Thus, he loses his job, his career, reputation, and I’d say partly his identity. (Since house Clegane’s story goes back to his grandfather, who saved the life of a Lannister lord, thus given the Clegane keep, fields and blazon.) Sandor loses all, as he himself states it, goes to Sansa and offers her to take her with himself.

"I could keep you safe," he rasped. "They're all afraid of me. No one would hurt you again, or I'd kill them." He yanked her closer, and for a moment she thought he meant to kiss her. He was too strong to fight. She closed her eyes, wanting it to be over, but nothing happened. "Still can't bear to look, can you?" she heard him say. He gave her arm a hard wrench, pulling her around and shoving her down onto the bed. "I'll have that song. Florian and Jonquil, you said." His dagger was out, poised at her throat. "Sing, little bird. Sing for your little life."

No kiss happens here, but later in ASoS and AFfC Sansa remembers three times, the Hound kissed her. This is the so called “unkiss”.

Martin himself made some comments on it.

You will see, in A STORM OF SWORDS and later volumes, that Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her the night he came to her bedroom... but if you look at the scene, he never does. That will eventually mean something, but just now it's a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

File this one under "unreliable narrator" and feel free to ponder its meaning..

Well, I definitely feel free! So, I was thinking…

Sandor’s behaviour towards Sansa is a mixture of care, protection, gentleness, attraction, and… impetuosity, anger and violence too… It’s mixed, and we only see him from Sansa’s POV, we cannot see Sandor’s thoughts or feelings. It’s left in the dark, as many things between them, and I think for a very important purpose.

Sandor’s mixed behaviour divides the fandom, and it leads into two types of interpretations on the unkiss. Those, who do not like Sandor’s character, think that Sansa’s traumatized by him, especially in the Blackwater scene, and she tries to phrase it as romantic, to cope with it. On the other hand, those, who consider themselves Sansan fans, likes to think, that Sansa eventually gets attracted to him, and fantasizes about him this way.

Well, I think neither. If the unkiss would be Sansa’s coping mechanism, she should use it regarding Joffrey too, or the other members of the Kingsguard, who were waaaaay more traumatizing towards her, than Sandor ever had been. But we don’t see her misremember regarding any of the other characters. So then? Is it a sexual fantasy of a teenage girl? Well, I myself have been a teenage girl once, and I can tell you, teenage girls can make a very sharp distinction between reality and fantasy. Yes, they fantasize, but they don’t mix it up with reality. And again, Sansa’s not getting mad, we see no other cases where she misremembers this way.

So for me, the only reasonable answer is, that this kiss ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

But wait! What did Martin say? „Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her the night he came to her bedroom... but if you look at the scene, he never does.” But if you look at THE SCENE, he never does. In other words, he never does it, in THAT SCENE. And my idea is, that he actually did it… in ANOTHER SCENE. But there’s no other scene, where the possibility of a kiss appears, right? No. There’s no written scene. I think Martin hid that scene, on purpose.

THE HIDDEN SCENE

We assume, that we see every important scene of the POV characters, but that’s not necessarily true… We’ve seen missing scenes before, which we only got to know about in later chapters in remembrances or discussions about what happened. Sometimes the information is held back for a few chapters. Sometimes for a whole book (e.g. when Cersei gets Osney to kill the high septon) or for two books (e.g. that Cersei got Pycelle to lie about Margery and the moon tea.), and most certainly there are hints already placed that will only be unfolded In the upcoming volumes.

Let me give an example of a hidden scene. In AGoT Daenerys VIII. Dany says to Jorah: “"Help him," Dany pleaded. "For the love you say you bear me, help him now."” Yet, we see no scene, where Jorah confesses his love for Daenerys. But from his reaction, we immediately see that Dany did not go mad, or imagined Jorah to be in love with her, he really confessed. Martin simply does not show us that scene. Hiding scenes, memories and thoughts is something he does regularly and on purpose. The big difference between Dany and Jorah’s and Sansa and Sandor’s case is, that the latter pair has no chance to talk about what happened afterwards. They parted ways after the Blackwater battle, and Sansa has no one to talk about it afterwards, since everything happenned only between the two of them.

So jumping back to Dany and Jorah, where could be that scene in the timeline, where Jorah confessed? We see them interact way before the battle, and we see them interact after the battle. I think, this confession could have taken place somewhere in between. More precisely, the night before the battle. Why? The answer is easy. What do men need before a battle? They go there to kill other men, and they, themselves will probably be injured or killed as well. Jon notes in ACoK Jon I: „ Some men want whores on the eve of battle, and some want gods.” They all need something to comfort them, before a battle. Well, I think Jorah needed Dany. And I think Sandor needed Sansa. He needed comfort even more, for he already seen the fires set by Tyrion and Stannis, and he, as a leader must have known, that wildfire will be used in the battle. We know, he only fears fire. We see Sandor and Sansa meet some days before the battle, on the top of Maegor’s Holdfast in ACoK Sansa IV. And we see them interact during or nearly at the end of the battle. We don’t see them interact on the night before the battle (the eve of the battle). My theory is that they met, we’re just not allowed to see the scene. Why? I’ll get to that later.

That seems to be the only possible timing, for another reason too: Sansa’s having her first period, just after she had a conversation with Sandor on the top of Maegor’s Holdfast, only some days before the battle. Though still very young in our modern day terms, that makes her a woman according to Westerosi customs, just as Cersei says in the same chapter. If Sandor really kissed her, it is the first time, he could do such a thing, never before, for kissing a child even in Westerosi traditions is unacceptable.

AN UNRELIABLE NARRATOR

I think the timing also could explain why Sansa remembers the Hound to come to her during the Blackwater battle. There’s no mental breakdown, no fantasies becoming real memories.

She’s an unreliable narrator, for sure. But she’s always been one, nothing has changed. I’ll give you some examples on that too.

In AGoT Sansa I. and Eddard III. happens the famous incident, where Nymeria bites Joffrey in defense of Arya, Joffrey lies about the whole story, Sansa does not back up Arya’s story, Cersei demands the death of a direwolf, but only Lady’s left there, since Arya chased away Nymeria to save her. Robert doesn’t really hold his ground to Cersei, and at the end Ned takes the task of killing Lady, because he thinks she deserves better than Ilyne Payne. It’s pretty complex, but it’s also very interesting to see, how Sansa remembers the whole incident. In ACoK Sansa II. Sansa remembers Lady’s death: “Father had killed her, on account of Arya.” But later, in Sansa III. she says to Joffrey: "Lady never hurt you, but you killed her anyway. "No, your father did," Joff said…” In my opinion, this means that she sums up the core of the story, according to her momentary focus. She doesn’t make up new things, she sums them up.

Thinking about these examples, I find it quite possible, that she actually smashes up two events, that took place very close to each other in time: the night before the battle (the eve of the battle) and the night of the battle. The two encounters would be basically about the same thing: Sandor’s feelings towards her, expressed in darkness. Smashing up the two encounters also makes it more romantic for Sansa. Yes, I think, she romanticises what happened, but not by making up new memories, but by altering them a little bit. A kiss that happens “while green fires fill the skies” sounds quite dramatic, don’t you think? :)

GRRM says: ''Unreliable narrator'' is the key phrase there. (…)  And what does that reveal about her psychologically?”

Well, my answer is, that she’s not a data-person. That’s quite clear: she’s rather artistic: the songs, dancing, the sensibility for visual beauty: she’s that kind of person, who remembers stories and feelings, instead of details. She herself admits, that she’s not good with numbers. Plus, she’s a teenage girl. Honestly, I think, that’s all, that’s what these memories reveal about her, and not some mental breakdown, or madness.

But this is just a first part, and there’s gonna be a lot more. Stay with me for the upcoming parts. :)

Fort Part 2. click here:

For my previous topic, click here:

[rockafstw]

for me Suzuka 1989 was really good to watch because i think knowing about the collision beforehand REALLY adds to the tension of the chase. It’s like being spoiled for the end of the movie, now you watch that movie with the ending in your mind and it changes your whole perspective on the scenes and where the movie is going and when you know now that something bad is going to happen this sense of dread grows as you get closer to the end. Watching Senna get closer and closer to Prost lap after lap after lap, there is some dread that grows. And you almost think in your mind - maybe it will end differently - but it won’t and it doesn’t because the two of them still collide when Senna finally, finally catches up to Prost.

The Suzuka 1989 crash is a very interesting one because you can really sense the emotion behind it, it is not just an accidental collision between championship competitors: it is a culmination of the resentment and anger and in Prost’s perspective, a sense of mistreatment and injustice that has been building up over the course of a year. Prost has been pushed to the limit working with Senna, he’s become unhappy at McLaren, so much so that he is leaving the team for Ferrari, but he is still in the championship, he is Leading the championship and Suzuka could be the decider. So Alain Prost tells Ron Dennis and Ayrton Senna before the race that this time, when Senna comes at him, he is not going to leave the door open, he’s not going to give Senna opportunity, he is going to fight. When Senna finally catches Prost, Senna makes a daring, perhaps even a little arrogant, move up the inside on the way into the chicane and is met with headstrong impulsivity, a turn of the wheel that results in a sudden skid to a stop. I do not think Prost made them crash on purpose. I think the idea of a crash was a vague back-of-the-mind sort of thing - in that moment it was about not letting Senna get past, it was about Prost holding his position on track in this title decider after a year of feeling pushed out of his position within his team.

This is the part that may start sounding a little bit crazy but like. idc. Bear with me! When you isolate this tense chase and subsequent collision, it can become representative of Prost and Senna’s relationship as a whole (at this point in time at least): Alain Prost is already ahead in terms of career success and consolidating his position within McLaren, he has two world championships and the most wins of any formula 1 driver, ever. And Prost is the man Senna wants to compare himself against and beat. REALLY badly. Commence the chase! Prost is the hunted and Senna is the hunter, and this applies not only on the track and the championship but goes for the McLaren team as well. Having a good relationship with your team, having a good position within the team is so important and Prost has this. Prost is GOOD at maintaining a strong place within his team, consistently besting his teammates. Not through rules about first and second drivers because Prost never asked for that, but through his performance, technical ability and connections. Senna is chasing this as well, because Senna knows he needs that as well if he is to beat Prost. On this point I’d like to show an excerpt from the book Senna Versus Prost by Malcolm Folley that I literally just remembered as I was typing and I think illustrates the dynamic I am talking about here:

This is what Prost has and what Senna wants to achieve laid out. This is a bigger, longer chase that you can interpret as being shown by Suzuka 1989. What happens when Senna catches Prost at Suzuka? What happens when you put two top drivers, highly competitive drivers, in equal machinery in the same team, fighting for a championship? They collide. Their relationship disintegrates. It’s unpleasant. It’s not something either of them wanted, but looking back it seems like it was inevitable. Suzuka 1989 is packed with emotion, it is rich in story and intrigue. I’m sure it was back then, but looking back years later with more context as to how things were in the team, with all kinds of interviews and perspectives available to us today, it puts a new lens on the race and what it meant for Senna and Prost’s relationship and for that reason, it is one of my favourite races to watch.

[eirakairos]

Your Guardian Angel Chapter 1

Pairing: Caleb x MC

Summary: You're on a mission called Save Big Apple. (You learned what happened to Caleb as the control to him goes 100%)

A/N: Caleb has been in my brain for weeks and I wanted to indulge myself in writing about saving him. The song Your Guardian Angel is very Caleb coded to me (not helping that his clothes are appropriate to the era when the song was released too lol)

Words: 2,123

Chapter 2

Tags: Hurt/comfort, minor violence and injury, character death implied!, descriptions of loss, grief and trauma

“Okay, almost there,” you panted as you typed frantically, you are in the last leg of your mission. The most important mission of all: Save Big Apple. Your mind wandered despite your fingers and your concentration on the screen was fixed.

You spent months of researching and pulling strings to get to the bottom of it. Day by day, Caleb is starting to behave strangely. Even in your first meeting with him again, it felt that there was an invisible barrier between you two. He didn’t delve into details since he always kept secrets and went off somewhere in his meetings as the colonel. He can read you like an open book, he knew something was up, but you know how to keep yours as well. You tried to work things out for him and it did, yet in the culmination of your investigation, it becomes trickier.

“I knew it, you’re behind this,” you heard a voice. Before you could react, you felt a field of power around you, keeping you still. ‘Shit, no!’ Your eyes moved, seeing Caleb in the corner. But this isn’t the Caleb you knew anymore and he knows this. “You don’t know what you’re in for, pipsqueak,” he said sternly. Don’t believe his lies, you thought. This isn’t the warm-hearted Caleb you loved… As they already got him, the whole 100% of it.

It’s all because of you.

“Can I still convince you to leave this place and just be the pipsqueak I knew?” he asked. His eyes didn’t shine like what you used to see. He looked emotionless, he looked… Like a robot, being controlled by a more powerful force. “Do you think I didn’t know what you were up to?” He said, circling before facing you. “I saw what you’re doing, disabling my cameras, making lame excuses…” he counted. “It’s too late, there’s no coming back for me. I’m the ultimate weapon, to keep you safe,”

“This is not ‘keeping me safe’,” you exclaimed. “I don’t need no protection especially from you!”

“Keep saying that while being under my control,” he said, his voice louder, his gravity powers got stronger, making you go to your knees. He walked closer, lifting your chin. “Stop this, let’s just go back to our warm home… I’ll be more focused on you… On us…” he said, his hand ghostly hovering to the apple pin on your hair, the same pin he gave you many years ago. Your eyes flickered, you feel this is a trick, but it felt genuine, it felt that somewhere in there inside him, your Caleb is still there. You breathed, this has to end here and now. You flicked your wrist, a metal bracelet beeping under your sleeve, to activate the anti-gravity mechanism. His eyes widened when you could move against his gravity and were unable to block your kick to his face. He stumbled back, he tried to use his gravity again, but you keep moving.

You never thought it would come to this day, you thought you would only do sparring with him as he is your partner in battles. Never expected for you to fight against him, to point your guns at him, just to knock some sense out of him. Your saw in the peripheral of your vision in the screen that the disabling control under Caleb is almost halfway. You saw him grunt in pain as they are trying, and replaced with anger, not the anger you hit him, but because you defied him. The same anger that he shows to his enemies.

“You asked for this…” He said menacingly. Caleb runs towards you fast, you were surprised at how fast he is. You shoot a few rounds before he is getting too close, you dodge him, but he grabs your wrist. You struggled but he is stronger when under control. He disabled your gun and it was thrown away from you. Before he could grab the other one, your body reacted in danger, you pointed the gun quickly and shot his arm.

“Argh!” He said as he recoiled back in pain. A gunshot pierced his mechanical arm, now revealed from its fake skin, its circuits fraying and fizzing. He was surprised that a bullet pierced him, it is usually more durable. His eyes widened in realizing that you are using an electromagnetic gun to put more damage on the arm… To the chip. You procured technology specifically against him.

“Did you just shoot me?” he said, almost in disbelief. “Do you want me dead again, huh…” He muttered as his fists clenched. He winced and grunted in pain. He shook and held his head. “Snap out of it!” you yelled. He screamed. “No!” He said as he runs fast and his damaged arm grabs you by the neck and slams you on the wall hard. “Ah!” you exclaimed, making your gun fall. You felt pain all over, especially your back and neck. You felt the metallic taste in your mouth as your sight went dizzy. Caleb remains unresponsive, just the emotionless face of no mercy. “You are such a pain!” he yelled as he slams you again, making you scream in pain and losing your vision. “You must be put into your place,” he said. “Your Caleb is long gone. He can’t protect you anymore,” 

You heard a loud beeping noise and sirens blaring, and the server screen flashed: MEMORY ACCESS DISABLED, SERVER SHUTTING DOWN.

“You-!” he said in shock before he held his head again and grunted, stumbling back. He grunted, his eyes blinked, having light and life again. Your sight slowly darkening as you are unable to move. He looked at you, being confused. “Pipsqueak?” he said, then realized and became horrified. Caleb stared at his hands, one of which was severely damaged, one had blood, he trembled and went terrified, thinking he had hurt you. He runs to you, screams your name as you smile, weakly presses a button hidden in your suit.

The server explodes, a huge series of explosions follow, stumbling Caleb backwards and knocking him unconscious.

He mustered all his energy to open his eyes. He can’t… He can’t just stay still; he has to find you to know what happened. He felt so much pain all over, more on his damaged arm. He saw himself in a white room, lying on a bed with a lot of beeping noises and equipment attached to him. He has a lot of bandages on his body, his mechanical arm is almost limp, he is unable to move it anymore, but the pain still radiated to his shoulder. There are cuffs around his wrists. He looked on his side, he saw his apple pendant necklace beside him, along with the apple pin you had. He held on to both of them, but the pin was damaged and mangled while the necklace was still intact. As he looked at them, the doctor and nurse went in to check on him.

“Colonel,” the doctor said after he looked at his records. The nurse went to check on his vitals. “Welcome to the Hunters Association. Your vitals are well so far, now that you’re conscious. How are you feeling?” he asked. “Where is-” Caleb interrupted, only to whisper your name. The doctor and nurse looked at each other as the nurse finished her task and quietly left. “If you are talking about your companion in the server room, we found both of you,” he said. “I’m sorry Colonel, but she has passed,”

Caleb’s mind went blank, trying to process that the entire reason why he survived and went through all of the pain and misery… is gone, even so because of his own hands. He only stared at his hands. He felt numb because of so much pain, his heart pounding hard. “N-No… She can’t be… She can’t be!” Caleb said as he tried to calm himself down. He wanted to escape, to find you, to be with you. As he tried, he couldn’t move anything, his gravity manipulation was suppressed. “No! No! I want to see her!”

“Colonel,” the doctor warned. “She is under the Association’s hands now. The funeral is being prepared as we speak,” Caleb still struggled, his tears were slowly falling on his cheeks, feeling the remorse and guilt. The nurse looked at the doctor with concern as he silently signaled to leave and give him space.

He muttered your name over and over, until he was just a wreck of sobs. His eyes are tired and red; he has stopped crying, but he is shaking. He keeps thinking of scenarios about what he could do. If he could only bring you back to life, he would. He replays the last moments with you over and over, seeing you hurt, with his hand around your neck. He cannot believe he treated you that way; he cannot believe that the very reason he survived and endured being experimented on and modified, to protect and cherish, is also the same person he lost because of himself. He is having difficulty breathing, he felt his heart clenched, that he failed. He failed. Failed.

Maybe this is just a dream, the worst nightmare he needs to wake up to. His body keeps giving up, making him sleep again and again, but he wakes up, he is still in the same room hours later. He needs to do something, search for answers, and search for her. His hands are cuffed, but that doesn’t mean he can’t use his other body parts. He breathed, focusing on directing his energy. The wires and hooks on his body were slowly but gently removed, he hissed a little. Once he could move, he stood and looked at his surroundings. He went outside, making sure no one noticed him. He is thinking how to get rid of the cuffs and get to you.

He quickly turns around, trying to use his gravity manipulation to see someone looking at him behind. He glared at a short-haired lady looking at him with her gun drawn. She was carrying a box, but her hold on the gun was intentional.

“Colonel,” she said. She looked familiar, like he had seen you with her before. The uniform she is wearing is from the Association. “Go back to your room or else,”

“Else what, Tara?” Caleb said menacingly.

“I’ll call the entire Association for your ass and you won’t get this little box… From her,” she replied. It piqued Caleb’s interest.

So he stayed.

The box has a red and green apple scribbled on it, he knew it is from you, as you used to call him Big Apple before, as one of the endless nicknames you two shared, while you are the Small Apple. “What is this box all about?” he asked.

“She asked me to give it to you, in case shit happens, she said,” Tara answered.

“So you know what happened,” he said. “I really don’t have a choice, she approached me with this grand plan on saving her Gege,” she sighed. “Cat got your tongue, didn’t it? You didn’t know, despite how extreme your surveillance is,” Caleb glared at her, then looked back at the box as he opened it.

A letter was the first thing he saw, and full of papers. His hands shake a little as he picks it, it is a pretty stationery with his name written in your handwriting.

Dear Caleb,

If you're reading this, I probably am not alive anymore. It is okay, I accepted it already in planning my mission to save you. I was angry that you didn’t tell me the full story, we promised not to keep secrets, but here you are, I have to find out the hard way what they did to you. I made sure everything is arranged, so you can have a comfortable life, just like what you did to me. You've suffered for so long, I can't take it anymore. I just... I love you a little more than you realize. Please live a free life and be happy, you can be a pilot again or do whatever you love. The papers deemed you as deceased in your colonel position, as much as I like you being in a uniform, not so much in what they did to you. My insurance policy has your name as beneficiary, so you'll have funds to do whatever you like, maybe owning a cafe or travel the world. You protected me from everything, so I like to do the same to you.

Please live for me. Promise me this or else I’ll haunt you. I'm sorry I kept this from you. I love you so much. 

Love,

Your pipsqueak

[yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy]

Just hit me that Episode 1, a big seed of insecurity is planted in Powder when she overhears Mylo and Vi arguing about her, but she leaves before Vi stands up for her, and then in Episode 9 she overhears Silco musing about how he has his dream in his hands and all he needs to do is give up Jinx. It cuts away before we see anything happen next but it can be surmised that she knocked him out before he was made aware of her presence.

At her most tenuous and uncertain of who she was—awkward Powder, frenetic Jinx— Fate decided to have her stumble upon important conversations had by those she loved about her worth and value as a person, and understandably she fled before she could hear the final verdict.

In Episode 1, she ran from the door with the impression that her sister thought she would never be strong enough, never be good enough, and any conversation to the contrary were just lies that family tells you to make you feel better. In Episode 9, she knocked out Silco before he could monologue his decision (lol) because she has been this man’s shadow for 6 years. She knows that he values utility, ruthlessness, and his dream of a free Zaun at all costs. No matter how fond he was of her, how gentle or patient or allowing, it all culminated into her being the powerhouse that would land him Zaun, and now he has it, so what good is she now? By all metrics that she herself has witnessed of him, all signs point toward him favoring giving her up.

It’s a mixture of Jinx’s own insecure attachment and Silco’s almost pathological refusal to not define their relationship as her being an exception to his personal policy of cutthroat zig-zagged loyalty that led to Jinx jumping to very logical conclusion that he would give her up to Piltover. Because he delayed having that very important internal conversation with himself about how important she was to him, he had to have that debate right at the finish line instead of, I don’t know, at Singed’s operating table when he was in danger of losing her?? Life comes at you fast and you don’t have time to sort out your feelings, I suppose. The show is very much a whirlwind of everything happening at once, but moving on…

But it also makes sense, because Silco’s love for Jinx is hinted at having snuck up on him without him fully noticing. He thought he was in control of his fondness for her. He must have thought it was an understandable and unavoidable side effect to raising a protegè that you genuinely respect for her cleverness and usefulness. But he grew to genuinely love her in his unfulfilling, disparate way. It filled some holes, and left others bare. The question of unconditional support and love was broken with Vi, and Silco by his nature, his behavior, his endeavors ensured that Jinx grew up in an environment where social darwinism reigned supreme and that faltering or failing rendered you lesser in Silco’s eyes. Silco never outright said it to her. We never see him denigrate or threaten her, but kids don’t need to be told anything to get the general feel of “how things are”. The general air around Silco was one that encouraged her penchant for gadgets and engineering, but left her suspended in a limbo where she felt compelled to be strong, be the best, be perfect, otherwise he would look elsewhere. He would drop her, because the strong eat the weak and he only values her because she is uniquely strong. A gem in his collection, almost. It’s a girl whose abandonment issues have her seesawing back and forth between cavalier “I don’t caaaaare, I’m irreplaceable and you know it” and “Please don’t drop me, I’m strong, I’m good, I can do this, I can, I can, I swear I can” which, in Episode 9 culminated in her Shimmer psychosis as “How dare you. After everything I’ve done, after everything you’ve lectured me about Topside, you want to give me to them? Who do you think you are? I made you. I’m this broken fizzing-wire thing whose sister gave me up for a Topsider, I killed my childhood best friend with a bomb, and now you want to throw me away for your shiny dream city? You think you can throw me away like trash, don’t you dare look away, don’t you DARE THROW ME AWAY”

Like GIRL. I usually hate the “left before they heard the context of someone’s seemingly damning conversation” but it works here because it aggravated therapy-needed Powder/Jinx’s insecurities.

[marmota-b]

Regarding Boromir, his death scene, and redemption / repentance (book vs film)

A bit of a callback to my original post on the topic of redemption, and inspired by a post calling (correctly) Boromir's trying to take the Ring one moment of weakness. I think I've finally figured out (I was low-key aware of it, but never put it into so many words) why I like the book version of Boromir's last moments much more than the film version, and why it pains me the film version seems to be what so many people prefer and so many fic writers inevitably reach for.

"I tried to take the Ring from Frodo. I am sorry. I have paid." ... "Farewell, Aragorn! Go to Minas Tirith and save my people! I have failed." "No!" said Aragorn, taking his hand and kissing his brow. "You have conquered. Few have gained such a victory. Be at peace! Minas Tirith shall not fail!"

Emphases mine, obviously, but when I think about it it's quite telling in which order they tell each other the things they say, and of course how exactly they say them.

The most important thing here, though it is on both their minds and it is what connects them and what their personal motivation is, isn't Gondor. Yes, Boromir is very worried about the fate of his country, but the first thing he tells Aragorn is what he has done, and that he is sorry.

And the very first thing Aragorn tells Boromir is assure him that he did not fail.

It's not a question of warrior honour, the way the film states it ("You fought bravely. You kept your honour."). It's a question of the main conflict of the book, that between the Ring's temptations and the ability to see it as the evil artifact it is.

The film keeps framing a lineage / authority / responsibility conflict between Boromir and Aragorn that's finally resolved, but that's not at all the conflict that matters (or, really, even exists) here. What Boromir is actually saying in relation to Gondor is "I now recognise that what I tried to do to save my people would have actually doomed them, and I recognise you have indeed been much wiser in this than I from the start. Please keep doing that, I can't change what I did now because I'm about to die." And some of it is present in the film, definitely, but it's muddled with the whole issue of both Aragorn and Boromir questioning Aragorn's legitimacy. Which means in the film Boromir's death scene ends up serving us Boromir repenting his behaviour towards Aragorn and... I hope we can all agree that's actually not the point Tolkien was making with Boromir's death scene in the book.

One moment of weakness. Boromir immediately saw that what he had done was wrong, and tried to make amends the only way he could at the moment. He did not keep trying to pursue Frodo, except to apologise (which admittedly Aragorn does not know, but it's still inherent in what Boromir tells him here). Boromir let go of the Ring even after being very, very sorely tempted, and Aragorn can see that. That IS a huge victory. THAT is a huge victory.

And the film frames that main conflict as it played out in the breaking of the Fellowship... wrong. The film leaves us with Boromir the man who succumbed to temptation, and died for his sins, and Aragorn the man who did not succumb and lived, and Boromir submits to the latter. That's not what happens in the book. In the book Aragorn simply never really went through a full moment of culmination of long-term temptation like that. Aragorn recognised and respected Boromir as someone who had reached the moment of culmination of long-term temptation, succumbed, and saw the light anyway. Meanwhile Boromir thinks he's paying for his sin and basically doomed, so Aragorn assures him that no, it was just a moment of weakness and he has overcome it. (Oh, and what also happens in the book is that after a long period of temptation even Frodo succumbs, and lives.)

My main problem with the film version is that the films inadvertently downplayed the main conflict and main theme of the whole story and served up the wrong moral.