#but it's very important to me that you know it happened as a culmination of mike's conditioning

[dykedvonte]

I find the line "I have to believe our worst moments don't make us monsters." Fascinating because it comes from Anya, and I feel she really proves it the best.

For obvious reasons most people are in the "Anya did nothing wrong" camp and for good reason but there is a single action that I don't think she did well and it was her suicide. Specifically her method.

Realizing that Anya took Curly's painkillers was horrifying to me. As a Nurse I have no doubt that she'd know how terrible dying from overdose is. She had access to a gun which is well known for having a far more instant and far less painful death. And despite everything falling apart around her, knowing how bad Jimmy was, she still left Curly alive.

I don't think I thought about it much like that at first but the longer this game has sat with me the more horrified I am by the action. Curly is man who has been horribly disabled and is completely unable to help himself and he is very much a human being who does not deserve to be anywhere close to that amount of pain. Those painkillers were one that the few things that could give him any amount of relief and Anya took them.

She could have shot herself and left the painkillers for whoever was left to help Curly. She could've shot Curly and then taken the painkillers. She could've shot them both and quickly put an end to their misery, yet she didn't. Anya had a great amount of her agency stripped away from her, to the point that she didn't deem life to be worth it anymore and ended it, right next to a man who couldn't make that choice for himself even if he wanted to.

It is easily her most horrific choice and yet, she's still an angel.

(Please don't take this as Anya slander, I genuinely love her so much. I just find this to be an incredibly interesting thing)

I do subscribe to the idea that Anya realized that Jimmy was hitting Curly when giving him his medicine but didn’t intervene. I also don’t think her taking the pills from Curly as monstrous mainly because (while she knew he suffered worse with out them) she likely also knew they were basically bandaids on a bullet wound.

I have this sort of belief that that statement can only really apply to Jimmy in the inverse. Like some statements in the games aren’t meant to apply to all characters and not in every context of every action they do. It’s the idea that no one should be responsible for Jimmy’s actions but himself but they are forced to by him or the environment. Everyone is experiencing their worst moments but no one is a monster outside of Jimmy due to his inability to take responsibility and how he escalates the severity of the situation through his bad choices. Even then it’s not one moment that makes Jimmy a monster it’s the culmination of every moment that prove his inability to be anything but in this scenario.

With Anya you must remember she did have the code to the gun. Yeah, she could’ve broken it open but who’s to say how easy or how long it would’ve taken. Not to mention, there’s this misconception that she wanted the gun to kill Jimmy which isn’t true. She wanted the gun to defend herself in the case he got aggressive which is an important note of Anya being the only proactive person on the ship vs reactive. Locking the door, knowing there was no way in was likely a duel mercy for them both. A person in his state would die relatively soon without constant care and she has ample time to pass. It’s a hard decision to make for herself and someone else but it was the easiest even if it caused more damage than it was ever meant to cause.

It’s a sort of parallel to how Curly made choices he thought would help Anya and everyone but ultimately doomed them all further. Jimmy got what he wanted in both scenarios of crashing the ship and wanting Anya gone. What happened on the Tulpar will go down as a tragedy if they are ever found, a mystery if not but certainly not in a way that Jimmy wanted. Anya and the pregnancy are effectively gone but he’s still facing the repercussions for it.

There’s this idea that it’s controversial to say that Anya was anything but perfect and while I don’t think she did anything wrong, she certainly didn’t make the best choice in telling Jimmy but that again was because of the situation and environment she was in. We don’t know why she didn’t wait on Curly after their conversation in the cockpit, we know that was the plan and we know Jimmy finding out through her alone was the catalyst to the crash within like the next hour, yet you can’t really blame her. We don’t know why Jimmy came to medical nor what anyone else was doing. It can be considered her one mistake but then again we can’t blame a reasonable action on someone’s unreasonable response.

I think that’s a big aspect a lot of people look over in the characters actions. Most of them are normal, reasonable, human. But the systematic responses to them and Jimmy’s are unreasonably harsh and punishing.

This has gone off in a tangent from what you originally posed but I genuinely think of what might do happened if that confrontation happened with Curly there and away from the cock pit. I assume it’d happen in medical or even utility, hell, an area away from anything sensitive but what if? If the ability to do something awful wasn’t at Jimmy’s finger tips, if there was more than one voice in Curly’s head during that moment, what would’ve changed?

When I look at Anya I see her as having the best responses to anything happening during the events of the game but the environment, systems against her and even the other crew mates to an extent made it so it would inevitably backfire on them and mostly her hard.

[crumbleclub]

Mike trying to rationalize why Henry is okay with his dad hurting him, even when Michael isn't okay with him hurting his siblings. Even when nobody is okay with Michael hurting his siblings.

It wasn't as bad, right? He never laid a finger on them. They were only words.

Maybe it's because Mike is older. This bleeds into his protests, his haphazard attempts to protect. "Please, he's only six." Don't hurt him. Don't hurt him the way that you hurt me.

William finds this entertaining. He makes note of these things, wonders if he'd respond differently if William tried something else.

Maybe it's because William is an adult. He learns not to trust anyone older than him, but to let them do whatever they want. He learns to freeze; to shut down.

This makes him an easy target later on.

Is it because Michael deserves it? After Evan dies, he's sure that must be it. Willian knew what he was, and he only gave him what he already had coming. Michael was a murderer, after all. He deserved everything anyone might do to him.

It was his own fault.

[paper-mario-wiki]

Could you explain how Ambrosia is able to come back after dying?

1

Sure yeah, I'll give it a shot.

[Fursona Lore/ Mild Existential Horror presented in charmingly primitive MS Paint style under the cut]

2

[At the top of the panel there is the label "conceptual space (currently being created. The middle is labeled "THE UNIVERSE, REALITY (the other)". The bottom is labeled "CONSCIOUSNESS, REFLECTION (the self). The very bottom of the panel reads "OTHER, FREAKIER BUT LESS IMPORTANT STUFF" ]

To keep it brief, a person is when a certain amount of consciousness slips upwards into reality. Consciousness is, like the laws of thermo dynamics [sic], a fundamental property of the universe.

3

I'm sure you've heard of the sticking-a-pencil-through-paper metaphor for theoretical wormhole travel, right? Staying within that visual metaphor, imagine the moisture in the air around that "piece of paper" as what consciousness is. It creates tiny, imperceivable changes in the surface and makeup of the paper. Imagine a microscopic rain cloud making a tiny fraction of the paper a little bit soggy. That's what you are in the universe. A tiny soggy fraction of a massive piece of paper. (That's why you feel so small btw).

Of course, putting it into that metaphor IS greatly simplifying it, since in real life things like time and space sorta overlap, ya know? Because they're entirely separate dimensions of measurement. Consciousness is the same, it is everywhere in the universe all at once, but only after it seeps in from a place that is exactly where we are, but elsewhere. 4D stuff is complicated sorry if that's not super clear ha ha.

4

Normal people happen when a bunch of that stray potential-consciousness starts stacking more and more layers of reality on top of itself. Sort of like those pastries that you fold butter into and then fold it like 10 times and that makes it so theres like a billion layers of butter and dough and butter and dough and butter and dough and on and on and on. But with, uh. The other stuff. Consiousness and matter from the universe.

Speaking semantically, that's all the little tiny organisms that work really hard to make you alive. Like the biome in your gut, or the bacteria in your tissue and blood cells. Look it up, 43% of the human body is made of bacteria. Like, that's just on google.

Anyway, all their effort culminates in an increasingly complex meat shell that constitutes a person.

5

For the sake of practicality, we can imagine the way consciousness "seeps in" to the universe is like heat coming off the sun. The two overlapping infinite planes radiate into each other like heat radiates off the sun.

That clear? Heat from the sun. Remember that, it's important for the next part.

6

I'm sort of like a solar flare.

My consciousness, in its raw form, was so concentrated that it was like a tiny shooting star straight from the source.

Also kind of like a kidney stone, I guess.

7

Since my consciousness (which, to be clear, is approximately the same "amount" of consciouessness as anyone else, just all smooshed together into a single clump) is smooshed together into a single clump, the shell forms naturally as "reality" settles onto it. The "shape" the consciousness takes is basically the same as your body or anyone else's since the framework of both entities are the "same" on the "outside". Thus the "shells" turn out "similar" too.

Sorry for all the quotation marks, it's hard to talk about concepts outside of the third dimension in third dimensional terms, and like. I also am not super sure about this stuff either. I'm only relaying what I've learned from the scientists but some of it goes over my head.

I like to think I'm clever but like. I'm not a genius.

8

So here's the part where me and you are different: When your shell breaks apart (when you die) it's because the consciouessness had been escaping your shell, like air from a balloon, and the physical structure can't support itself anymore. Or, like, maybe you just fall over and hit your head on the concrete one day and pop the balloon all together.

Either way, the consciousness escapes from the pressure, and either goes back "down" where it came from, or goes upward into conceptual space, which is sorta being constituted through forces exerted in the physical universe. Well, I mean, really it's more of a product of a reaction between consciousness and physical space. Whatever I'm getting off topic.

The point is the shell breaks cuz the balloon pops. I think that was my point.

9

Now that you get all that, you can probably deduce on your own how and why I'm able to keep "coming back".

It's cuz I'm not really "coming back", I'm still here! The shell representing me here was just lost.

10

And while the facade may not look precisely the same every single time...

11

I remain the same.

[ven0moir]

Will had hope ... and then lost it.

He had hope that maybe, just maybe, Mike and he felt the same way. And I think it started here:

Mike expressed relief at the idea of Will not joining another party. And Will's look seems ... surprised but joyful? Like he's picking up on Something the audience is not.

Then we have this:

I know a lot of people say he meant this in a friendship way. But I don't think he did entirely. I think he was 'testing the waters' so to speak, to see Mike's reaction to him asking something like this so forwardly--an action driven in part, possibly, also by frustration. Of course their friendship was his priority but he was also Sending Mike a Message. Speaking in code, if you will. And I'm not sure if Mike picked up on it or not, but he knew what he was doing when he used the word 'us'.

Then of course we have Mike's speech to Will in episode 4. The way he slightly tilts his head to the side inquisitively after Mike said 'It's Hawkins, it's not the same without you', as if he's thinking "am I dreaming? Is he really saying this?" And not to be meta but he might even be wondering if he's being delusional here.

On top of that, the speech prompted him to gather the courage to do this:

hope again. But then his arc culminated in this:

Will's facial expressions when Mike is self-depricating ... he seems so sad. In the second one, even Mike notices and cuts himself off to apologize for bringing up this subject.

I think he, sadly, realized Mike did feel the same way as him, but not in the way he had initially hoped. Mike, like him, is struggling with not feeling good enough for the person he loves.

And Will did not want Mike to feel the same way he did. So he did what we saw him do and give the painting to Mike, which symbolizes his love for DnD, for what they do together, for their friend group, for him. His intention here was to make Mike feel better. Important. Seen. Even at the cost of his own heartbreak.

"Every smile you fake, I'll be watching you."

So to recap, at the beginning of the season, Will had been acting weird and painting for someone he liked ( according to El ). We find out very quickly that the recipient of the painting was intended to be Mike. I don't think Will ever intended for the painting to be a full blown love confession--but a start. A continuation of the 'hint dropping' they started doing at the end of S3. But of course, the whole world went to shit, and his feelings got amplified to the point where the painting's meaning took a different turn. And it became the basis of a veiled love confession.

I think this is devastating because the narrative forced them, once again, down a different path from the natural progression this would've been had Mike been allowed to enjoy a nice spring break in California.

I do believe by the end of S4, Will has completely lost the last vestiges of hope he had left that Mike would ever reciprocate his feelings, especially after Mike's love confession. I think he feels stupid for even allowing himself to believe there was a chance.

I mean, look at him. And, terrifyingly, I feel like that is exactly where Vecna needs him to be at the start of S5.

Sprinkle in some #birthdaygate and voila ... we have the perfect recipe for a horrible Vecna vision.

I don't know how they'll resolve this, but it does feel to me that the intention of Will's S4 arc was to get him to a point of loss of hope, which signifies the death of his dream.

Going into S5, he probably sees this dream now as stupid and childish--an impossibility. Adding to this, there's no way in hell Will is going to confess. Not when this happened and it was never resolved.

The ball is on Mike's court, for better or for worse.

And I think this is also another plot twist we will find out through Vecna: the fact that Will had hope that he and Mike could be together and felt the same way. And that honestly makes whatever Vecna does to Will 10 times worse because if Will had NEVER had hope, then there's nothing new there. But having hope and then having it crushed to the ground? Yeah ... my heart hurts as I type this.

[world-of-wales]

THE PRINCE OF WALES HAS GIVEN AN INTERVIEW AT THE END OF HIS OFFICIAL VISIT TO SOUTH AFRICA.

During the candid and emotional interview he admitted how the past few months had been ‘brutal’ due to the health scares The Princess of Wales and King Charles went through :

‘Honestly? It’s been dreadful. It’s probably been the hardest year in my life. So, trying to get through everything else and keep everything on track has been really difficult. But I’m so proud of my wife, I’m proud of my father, for handling the things that they have done. But from a personal family point of view, it’s been, yeah, it’s been brutal.’

Speaking about the Princess of Wales he said that :

‘She’s doing well. Doing well.’

Speaking about what it meant to host the awards in Africa, a continent he connects very deeply to as he spent time there following his mother's passing and it is the place he proposed to The Princess of Wales as well, he said :

'Hearing the Circle of Life. I don’t know about everyone else, but hearing the Lion King and things like that gets me quite emotional, So, when they started singing and I saw the clips from the top of Table Mountain and we were all there and it’s happened. I did feel quite emotional.'

He then spoke about his children watching the awards saying :

'I don’t know yet. I haven’t clocked in with them yet but I hope they did.'

William added of his relaxed demeanour in Cape Town this week :

'It’s interesting you say that ’cause I couldn’t be less relaxed this year, so it’s very interesting you’re all seeing that. But it’s more a case of just crack on and you’ve got to keep going. I enjoy my work and I enjoy pacing myself and keeping sure I have got time for my family too.'

He also spoke about his family's opinions on his beard :

'Well Charlotte didn’t like it the first time. I got floods of tears the first time I grew a beard, so I had to shave it off. And then I grew it back. I thought, hang on a second and I convinced her it was going to be okay'

He also spoke about his new role as the Prince of Wales and how he intends to 'royal' in a different way than his grandmother and father before him :

‘You mention the added responsibility and the freedom in the same sentence,’ he laughed. It’s a tricky one. Do I like more responsibility? No. Do I like the freedom that I can build something like Earthshot then yes. And that’s the future for me. It’s very important with my role and my platform, that I’m doing something for good. That I’m helping people’s lives and I’m doing something that is genuinely meaningful.’

William spoke about the BTS work that goes into setting up huge events like Earthshot successfully :

‘So, the Earthshot is a culmination if you like of all that put together. But it takes a lot of work, and there’s a lot of unseen stuff that goes on, a lot of meetings, a lot of people coming in, a lot of chatting and phone calls, letters, all trying to sort of make the Earthshot get to being the best possible entity it can be'

He talked about his frustrations over reluctance as well as more involvement from buisness & governments saying :

‘I’d like it to be more a team sport. And so, when you go and approach people...business...or even government...and say, listen, we’re building this incredible thing. Please come on board. Some people are extremely fast and keen to it. Others take a little bit longer and it’s those people who take a little bit longer, I’m like, guys, we just don’t have the time.'

'So, yes, I get a bit frustrated that it takes a long time to convince people that this is worthy of their attention. But I guess that’s the nature of a global environment prize, you start from scratch and it’s going to take a bit of time.'

On his hope for the solutions & the impact and his message to those who can invest, he said :

'So you guys have seen for yourselves the scale of the solutions. I mean, they cover all sectors in all walks of life. Brilliant people, some barely started, some been a bit more established and have a bit more money. But overall all doing fantastic work in the same direction. I think the key thing for us is how do we translate that into more impact, more scale, and ultimately, greater progress in tackling environmental challenges.’

On his hope for more involvement, ‘I definitely think so. We’re giving this amazing platform to all of them. And really it’s an amazing platform for business to come in and poach what they want. But if we keep waiting....we’re going to keep eating into time that we just don’t have. And so my message to business really is: hurry up and be courageous. Invest faster because we just don’t have that time.’

[nientedenada]

Five Skyrim Lore Facts You May Not Know!

And unlike some of the clickbait videos on Youtube, these ones are absolutely true. Let me address some of the most common lore confusions I regularly see. As a Listicle, because why not? (It's easier than writing out long lore posts.)

The Blades never served the Mede Empire. Martin was the last Emperor they served. They then devoted themselves to looking for a new Dragonborn and working against the Thalmor. Titus Mede I created a new organization called the Penitus Oculatus, which handled all intelligence and security for the Mede Dynasty. The Penitus Oculatus has been the official Imperial organization for more than 175 years, while the Blades have been an independent force. It makes the Mede decision to outlaw the Blades a lot easier to understand if you know they weren't their employees at all. The Blades were loose cannons they couldn't control.

Ysgramor didn't destroy the snow elves. The stories about Ysgramor say he and his 500 Companions showed up in Skyrim, killed or sent the snow elves into exile, took all of Skyrim, and then wandered over to pick fights with the neighbours. In reality, the Falmer weren't completely driven from Skyrim till the reign of King Harald, thirteen generations after Ysgramor. In the interim, there was a whole Dragon cult and war, culminating with Alduin being flung through the time wound. It's a long period. The real Ysgramor definitely clashed with his snow-elf neighbours but he's accumulated the stories of hundreds of years around his mythic name.

The Companions haven't been a Nord-only organization for a very long time. You might think that a bunch of warriors venerating the legacy of Ysgramor and his Companion would be Nord only, and that was probably true way back in the First Era. But by the end of the First Era, the Companions had boasted both a Redguard and Elf (Altmer or Bosmer) Harbinger. Cirroc and Henantier are some of the most famous Harbingers in the history of the Companions. We're in the Fourth Era now, so if you're playing a non-Nord, you're following in a long tradition by joining the companions. (As is Athis.)

The Imperial Legion didn't win back most of Cyrodiil in the Great War. People often ask why Titus Mede II agreed to the harsh peace of the White-Gold Concordat after his army had destroyed the Dominion army in Cyrodiil and taken back the Imperial City. But that's not what really happened. The Legion destroyed "the main army". Other Aldmeri armies are mentioned in Cyrodiil. After Red Ring, the Dominion still occupied Anvil, Skingrad, Bravil, and Leyawiin. "The Great War" doesn't say that any of these cities were liberated. Put those territories together and you'll realize the Empire never got back its coastline or the Niben river. Titus Mede made his deal while the Dominion still occupied half of Cyrodiil. Maybe he could have won if he'd pushed on, but his decision is a lot easier to understand with this context.

The Bretons Don't Worship Talos. This is one of my favourite lore bits to explain. Talos is not a god in TES II, Daggerfall, though he is a historical figure, Tiber Septim. He's only introduced as a god in Morrowind. So, a lot of people assume that he's been retconned into the Breton religion, like he was into the Nord/Imperial religions. This is not true. In both Morrowind and Skyrim, the book Varieties of Faith in the Empire does not list Talos/Ysmir as part of the Breton pantheon. They worship the Eight (and sometimes Y'ffre, Magnus, and Phynaster), as they always have. Tiber Septim is an important historical figure whom some Bretons regard as one of their own, but he isn't an official god. I love this tidbit because it makes the White-Gold Concordat absolutely brilliant. One remaining province, Skyrim, gets all upset while High Rock wouldn't care. Cyrodiil is presumably somewhere in the middle. It's a perfect way to drive a wedge among the provinces. (Hammerfell's left the Empire, but for the record, they don't worship Talos either.)

[hareofhrair]

Edith Finch and the Unreliable Narrator

Oh you thought I was done losing my shit over that game? Nah I’ve just been letting it ferment a while. This is just part one because I need to sleep, I’ll hit you with the rest later.

What Remains of Edith Finch has been analyzed pretty thoroughly through the years since its release, but none of the analysis I've seen has ever quite done it for me, in part because I think they are all overlooking an incredibly crucial element of the story.

This is a story about unreliable narrators.

It's not just a cheeky reference that House of Leaves is one of the books found throughout the Finch house. It too is about nested unreliable narration, and I believe is there to draw attention specifically to this element of the game. Edith is not telling us the truth. The stories she reads are not telling her the truth. The result is a matroyshka doll of contradictions and carefully unexamined clues.

Here's a few of the more blatant contradictions, just to prove my point.

Grandma Edie is wheelchair bound. Yet in the retelling of Edith's final night in the house, she sees Edie standing unassisted on the porch. But eh, it's difficult to see. Maybe she had a walker. (Edit: nah that's totally a walker forget this one)

So how about this little nugget.

We are given explicit dates for when Lewis died, when Edith and her mother left, and when Edie died.

Actually, we're given two explicit dates for when Edie died.

We have Lewis's date of death from his tombstone, as November 21, 2010. Edith specifies it was exactly a week after this (November 28) that her mother informed Edie they were leaving, and that same night they fled the house, leaving Edie alone. Edith claims Edie was found dead by nursing home carers the next morning, November 29.

The date on Edie's tombstone is December 5th. A solid week after Edith claims she died.

Here's one of my favorites. Walter is hit by a train that should not exist. The real life Orcas island does not have a train, but in most games I would simply write that off as artistic liberty.

But having a train on an island that small at all does not make sense. Furthermore, even if there were a train, why would the tunnel pass directly under a residential home? Having lived near train tracks, if it were that close to the house at all, the entire family would have been very aware of it, and yet it seems to have caught Walter by surprise. And where is it now? Did they shut it down after Walter was hit? And why would Walter take a sledgehammer to a random wall in the inexplicable tunnels below his already subterranean secret bunker, instead of just going up stairs? Was he afraid of going back through the house? And more importantly:

How does Edith know about any of this?

She had no idea Walter was down there.

("After Barbara died he got as far away as he could" is another lie btw. Walter didn't enter the bunker until he was 16, eight years after Barbara's death, the same year Dawn was born)

So what did they tell her when he died, in 2005, when she was about six years old? Maybe they hid it from her, she's a small child, maybe she just didn't remember. What did they tell her at literally any time after that when she presumably asked about Walter's grave in the family plot? She knew Walter existed, she played in his bedroom. Did she never ask where he was? What happened to him? She has a mysterious uncle she's never met, and then one day out of nowhere there's a new grave for him out back, and she doesn't ask for any explanation about that?

Walter's letter doesn't say he was hit by a train.

I bring this one up not because it's a particularly blatant contradiction, it's actually a pretty fuzzy one with a lot of weird, circumstantial explanations. But it leads into one I think is really important.

When Edith arrives at the house, she informs us the power has been cut off.

But after she leaves the bunker, lights begin turning on.

Eventually culminating in Edith's room being fully illuminated.

This is also the point at which she stops talking about investigating and wanting to find out the truth and switches to "Maybe there is no truth, actually! Maybe it was all just a self fulfilling prophecy and none of these bizarre situations mean anything! You should definitely NOT come here and dig deeper into it."

This is the point at which I think Edith switches from more or less honestly repeating unreliable stories she has no way of verifying, to straight up lying to us, in an effort to discourage her son from ever coming here. There's no answers here, she assures him. Stay away.

People who try to handwave this as a mundane situation, either caused by hereditary mental illness (some real ableist takes about that out there btw yall, yikes) or simply a string of unrelated tragedies highlighting the randomness of death, the complicated ways we grieve, and how sometimes when people die they leave behind unanswered questions that we simply have to live with— Are neglecting the aspects of the story which are blatantly fantastical.

This "string of unrelated tragedies" has been haunting this same family for over 500 years. To the degree there are multiple books written about the curse, by presumably non family members. A man sailed a house across the Atlantic for pete's sake. Even looking at just the deaths since the Finches arrived in America, you cannot tell me that's a normal amount of tragic, unnatural deaths. And Finches have apparently been dying this way and at this rate since the 1400's. You're really going to tell me that's just bad luck? If nothing else, the fact that the family hasn't died out yet with a death rate that high is proof of something unnatural.

How about the fact that Edith's mother was SO alarmed by Edie trying to give her that history of the family, that she got into a physical altercation with a 93 year old, then fled the house, literally just grabbed her kid and booked it, abandoning literally everything she owned, including mementos of her dead husband and children. And then she never came back for them.

If this was a simple case of Dawn and Edie having a personal disagreement, even a pretty intense one worth cutting someone off for, you would think at some point in the seven years following Edie's death, she might have wanted to come back and pick up her stuff!

What was it about Edie trying to give Edith that book that made Dawn change her plans from "we're going to move out" to "we are leaving immediately with the clothes on our backs and never coming back?"

Why does Dawn think Edie's stories killed her children?

And why does Edith never enter the library?

Once we're shown that final evening in the house, it's clear that Edith has known the secret passage into the library from the start. And yet, in the "present" of the game, she never enters it. We only see the inside of the library during her flashback.

You would think, of all the answers Edith might want, the biggest might be what was in that book Edie tried to give her. And if it's anywhere, it's probably still in the library.

But it doesn't come up. Edith, very carefully, I think, completely avoids the subject.

Let's talk about Milton for a minute.

Milton's story is the shortest and contains the least actual details about what may have happened to him. He simply disappeared. Important note, he's not the only one. Barbara's boyfriend also "just disappeared." If I had a nickle for every mysterious disappearance that's happened in this house, I'd have two nickles! Which isn't a lot, but hey, I think maybe any mysterious disappearances are unusual, let alone two.

According to the writers, Milton is the king in their other game "The Unfinished Swan," which is a surreal fantasy that takes place in a magic kingdom. Kind of rules out Milton having just fallen in the lake and drowned during a mental health episode, doesn't it? Kinda makes it explicit that something not normal is going on here, doesn't it?!

Milton's murals are in every secret passage in the house. He knew them all. He knew the house better than maybe anyone.

And when he disappeared, his mother's response was to seal the doors of all the bedrooms. Why? What did she think happened to him? What was her rational for this?

And even more bafflingly, Edie's response to this is to drill peepholes.

Dawn's response to her son's disappearance is to turn her dead relatives bedrooms into sealed tombs. Edie's response is to insist she be able to see into those tombs. And this was apparently an acceptable compromise to Dawn.

Notably, the one exception is Walter's room. There's a peephole under construction in the garage that was presumably for this room. But why did Dawn save that one for last? What made it such a low priority? The fact that there wasn't a memorial in there, because Walter was under the house instead?

Hey, I actually misled you a bit back there. I said she sealed up the bedrooms. That's not completely accurate.

She also sealed the library.

The library where Edie tries to give Edith the family history, that final night in the house.

How did Edie get into the library? I somehow doubt a wheel chair using 96 year old crawled through that secret passage.

Among the bedrooms Dawn sealed, one of them was Edie's. She didn't seal her own or Lewis's or Edith's rooms, so she clearly didn't expect them all to abandon the rooms they were using and sleep in the living areas. So where exactly was Edie sleeping?

Hey, so I actually misled you a bit there, when I said the library was the exception to Dawn only sealing up the old bedrooms.

There's a cot in the library.

Someone was sleeping in there.

During the flashback, Edith doesn't acknowledge it, so why is it there? What is it meant to imply? Was Edie sleeping down here instead of her bedroom upstairs? Sure, I could buy that, stairs are clearly an issue for her.

Except, remember, the door was sealed. Only accessible by crawling on all fours through a cabinet that's maybe 2ftx2ft.

The only remotely plausible scenario is that there is another, more elderly-accessible passage into the library, presumably (since there's no space for it anywhere else) somewhere in the HUGE portion of the third floor we never get to see, and which Dawn and family decided to build a shanty town on top of instead of live in. And that in the couple of minutes between when we hear Dawn and Edie arguing in the dining room and when Edie appears in the library, she booked it up two flights of stairs and down again. Plausible!

But Occam's Razor provides a much simpler explanation.

Edith is lying.

I think it's time to talk about the books.

The books that fill the Finch house are a constant, looming presence. And I do mean constant. There is nowhere in the house that they are not. They're in the secret passages, they're in Walter's bunker, they're in the basement— Literally everywhere.

A lot of the titles are repeated, over and over, and I think this one can safely be chalked up to the realities of making a video game. The amount of work it would take to make that many unique books, the hefty chunk it would add to the game's file size-- The impact it would have on the framerate alone, trying to render all the damn things! So I don't think it's surprising or particularly meaningful that the books repeat as often as they do.

But see, the thing is, they didn't just make one set of books and copy paste it into every room in the house.

Instead, every room gets its own, bespoke book collection, featuring a mix of repeated titles and books seen literally nowhere else.

You go back and read that paragraph up there about how resource intensive and insane it would be to make all the books unique, and then tell me the fact that they DID make them all unique (albeit in a slightly more practical fashion) doesn't mean anything.

So let's talk about some of the titles on display in the Finch house.

I already mentioned House of Leaves, a story about unreliable narrators and a house that grows an impossible hallway that can't physically fit in the space it occupies. I'm gonna talk some more about that later when I get to the maps, just you wait. It's one of the books that appears repeatedly through all rooms.

Other books seen throughout the house include: the Necronomicon. The King in Yellow. Infinite Jest. Gravity's Rainbow. The Weird. And three separate stories by Jorge Luis Borges.

The Necronomicon and The King in Yellow, as well as being allusions to the eldritch mythos of Lovecraft (which is its own whole bag of cats) have something in common with Infinite Jest. They all feature what you might call cognitohazards. Meaning, something that poses a danger to any person who has perceived it. By reading the Necronomicon, you irrevocably bring yourself into the awareness of Lovecraft's eldritch beings. The King in Yellow features a play, which when seen induces madness. Infinite Jest features a film which when viewed causes the subjects to lose all interest in anything other than watching it, eventually leading to their deaths. Additionally, they are all three named after the cognitohazard they feature, meaning it's impossible to tell if the books on the Finch's shelves are the stories that feature these things, or the things themselves.

Gravity's Rainbow and The Weird are two of many books featured in the house which are experimental and surreal or straight up part of the genre known as weird fiction. Defining weird fiction is sort of a debate on its own, but it's a relatively modern genre, applied retroactively to stories as far back as the 1930's but which experienced a resurgence (called the New Weird) in the 80's and 90's. To try and roughly describe it, it's a genre of supernatural fantasy and horror which features transgressive, experimental, and non traditional elements. Lovecraft is considered a writer of weird fiction. He described it thus:

"The true weird tale has something more than secret murder, bloody bones, or a sheeted form clanking chains according to rule. A certain atmosphere of breathless and unexplainable dread of outer, unknown forces must be present; and there must be a hint, expressed with a seriousness and portentousness becoming its subject, of that most terrible conception of the human brain—a malign and particular suspension or defeat of those fixed laws of Nature which are our only safeguard against the assaults of chaos and the daemons of unplumbed space."

What Remains of Edith Finch is, itself, a work of weird fiction. And that's not me talking out of my ass, the writers have said as much in interviews.

Which would then imply, by it's very nature, an element of the supernatural.

Just an element that you don't dare look at.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Fundemental Cultural Misunderstanding

Can I just say that there is so much humor potential in Star as far as cultural misunderstandings go. 

Try this AU on for size. 

-Note:Though it is not necessary for this idea, it is important to me for you to know that in this world Anakin did not slaughter the Tuskens. He reached Shimi in time to save her and his focus was getting her to safety. Thus his relationship with Padme is much healthier.-

Anakin on a fundamental, and somewhat deliberate, level misunderstands some parts of Jedi culture. He believes that Jedi cannot get married.  In this world, this is not true.  

Marriage in this Jedi culture includes a marriage bond between all parties that, if not set up correctly, can do a fair amount of damage (and even when set up correctly doesn’t provide more than a sense of the other person's physical condition and emotions; rarely bonded might be compatible enough that that they can track each other through the bond). This is particularly true if one of the parties is not Force sensitive, or one of the parties is particularly Force Sensitive. So there is a lot of pomp and ceremony around getting married in the Jedi tradition to make sure the bond is correctly set up. Also consent is such a large portion of Jedi culture, so extra pains are taken to make sure non force sensitives understand what such a bond might mean…to the point where it freaks out most non force sensitives.  This all culminates in, by the time of the prequels, most Jedi just don’t get married.

-It should also be noted that marriage as a legal institution and marriage as a cultural institution are actually two very different things, though they are often conflated. Marriage as a legal institution means absolutely nothing to Jedi, and in fact many cultures, because the rights granted by the legal institution of marriage either don’t apply to Jedi or are covered by other Jedi related laws.-

This is also misunderstood by the Galaxy at large.  Also, because of this misunderstanding most cultures do not discuss their marriage customs with Jedi, sure it might come up organically but no one thinks that this is a cultural norm that the Jedi need to know. Which means as much as the Galaxy misunderstands the Jedi’s marriage customs, the Jedi misunderstand most other cultures' marriage customs as well.  In fact the Jedi, through generations of a benign misunderstanding, believe that most cultures will not discuss their marriage customs with Jedi, so all they can go on is their own observations. 

Picture if you will, little padawans vibrating their way into the Archives, up to the nearest archivist, who drops everything because the little Padawan wants to report that they ATTENDED A WEDDING. 

This leads to the archives being chock full of conflicting information about the various marriage customs throughout the galaxy, because anything that happens at a wedding now becomes a TRADITION of that planet, even things might be just a preference of the people marrying, or even a happenstance. The Jedi have all collectively agreed that they are just gonna roll with it, no matter how strange the custom or if it contradicts anything else (It is not like they can get information directly from the source after all).

Now when Anakin got married to Padme, he thought that Jedi cannot marry.  He thinks that his elopement would have to be a secret. He does not realize that he broadcasted his joy at marrying Padme to every Force Sensitive in the galaxy (no seriously, there are Force Sensitives on planets that don’t even have space flight yet, on the other side of the galaxy that felt an abrupt and incomprehensible wave of utter joy-some of those were physiologically incapable of feeling joy like near humans and had to lay down for a while). Also, not that he realized it, the part of his Force Signature (which Jedi are taught in the creche how to read) that deals with identity flashed with the equivalent neon lighted dashboard in Times Square that he was ‘Mr. Padme Naberrie’ from that point forward. 

So when Anakin leaves on a mission, unmarried, and comes back very married, but clearly hiding it, it is quickly noticed. But no one thinks that it is Anakin who does not trust them. Of course not, he is family. They decide that this must be some heretofore unknown Naboo marriage TRADITION, elopement followed by hiding the marriage. 

No one, not a single jedi in 10,000, thought to ask Anakin directly. 

Several Archivists promptly write some very well written papers on this tradition, and how it fits into their other knowledge, basically filling in the gaps to create a tradition out of whole cloth (even though they are acting in earnest). 

The war still starts, with all that entrails. But every Jedi knows about Anakin’s ‘secret’ marriage. The little ones all giggle about it. Most are eagerly waiting for the tradition of hiding to be complete, because surely ‘The Man Without Fear’ and his wife would also want to marry in the Jedi tradition.  There was so little to be excited about these days that everyone bought into this notion, even those that had long decided they would not go through the process of the Jedi Marriage. 

The children in the creche insist on making decorations for the eventual Jedi Wedding.  In fact there were multiple sets of decorations, depending on where the happy couple wanted the ceremony performed. Just rooms and rooms of decorations and drawings and artwork of all kinds. 

The High Council, including Obi wan, started researching to make sure they knew all the steps and traditions for the Wedding backwards and forwards whenever they had the chance. The last time a Jedi Wedding had been performed was 200 years earlier and enough had happened since that even those who were alive during that time were a bit fuzzy on the details.  They wanted to be ready to support Anakin and Padme in any way possible.  Padme’s biometrics are quietly added to the Temple’s banks; ready to be activated as soon as the couple is ready. A plan is put together so that Padme can be quickly evacuated if there was an active threat against Anakin specifically, or Jedi adjacent beings in general. 

And the Archivists are practically having duels to see who would get to speak to the happy couple once the period of hiding is done. There is hope throughout the archives that maybe, if they ask really nicely, Padme would be willing to answer a few questions on Naboo marriage traditions (All the Archivists want to learn so badly, all they want to do is be able to learn. Can they please learn).

Perhaps if it had gone on much longer someone would have cottoned on to how stressed this secret was making Anakin. Maybe not.  Perhaps this world still could have ended in unimaginable tragedy. 

Perhaps in another world like this. In this world, we look to humor instead of horror. 

A little over a year into the war several of the youngling clans, ages ranging from about 4-6, got to go on a tour of the Senate.  One of the younglings (Age 4, species was Sabetue and was genderless) got separated and couldn’t find a clone guard or anyone they recognized. They were wandering and scared, but somehow made it up to the level where Padme’s office is. And the Youngling recognized Padme’s Force signature as Master Skywalker’s wife, so they knew they would be safe with her.  

So now Padme has a small Jedi child in her office. Thankfully she was not in a meeting. She manages to get a hold of the Guard, who send up two of creche masters, who had been beside themselves with worry.  While in her office the child said things that made it clear that the child knew about Padme’s marriage to Anakin and how they couldn’t wait to see how pretty she would be in the Jedi Wedding.  One of the Crechemasters very gently reminded the child that Anakin and Padme might decide not to get married in the Jedi Tradition, that it had to be their choice and followed up with:

“And if we forced them…”

The child piped back with a solemn “we would be meanies”

One of the creche masters brought the child back down to the group while the other remained behind. First to thank Padme for finding their lost child. Then also to apologize for the child breaking the Hiding Tradition, expressing a hope that this would not have any negative impact on Padme’s marriage. 

The Crechmaster seemed so proud at saying ‘Hiding Tradition’ that Padme did not have the heart to tell them that she had no idea what they were talking about (they are very proud of remembering what the Archivists were calling this tradition).  They continue to have a brief conversation where Padme learned a number of things:

The Jedi, every single one of them, knew about Padme’s marriage.

They are all, every single one of them, actively supportive instead of the at best disapproving she thought they would be.

The Jedi somehow believe that Padme and Anakin are hiding their marriage over a Naboo Tradition

There are rooms full of crafts created specifically to decorate for her wedding in the Jedi Tradition created by hordes of earnest younglings. 

The Jedi are very into consent. 

Anakin is not due back on Coruscant for another week, and during that week Padme made discrete inquiries (oddly enough these are actually discrete) that told her nothing important about what was going on and driving her to distraction. So Anakin comes back to Padme nearly screaming at him ‘Why do the Jedi think we are hiding our marriage over a Naboo tradition?’

Anakin very much does not know but suggests that they ask the Chancellor (Anakin has very much been conditioned by the Chancellor to turn to him first in any instance of confusion).

Padme stares at him for a moment, tells him that is a stupid idea and to call Obi Wan.

Anakin does not want to call Obi Wan. He does not want to tell Obi Wan about their marriage and get in trouble. 

Padme stares at him with the dead eyes of someone dealing with too much ridiculous information at once, then says ‘Call Kenobi’.

Anakin obeys. 

Obi Wan comes over, they all sit down and Padme very calmly tells Obi Wan that she and Anakin are married. Obi Wan immediately begins radiating blinding excitement.  He congratulates them and starts to ask about having a Jedi wedding before deflating again and asking if not pretending he was surprised would ruin anything. He offers to go out and they can do it again, he can pretend to be shocked. 

Padme reassures him. Anakin starts to express his surprised (in a way that would have made it really clear about why he was hiding his marriage) but Padme quickly interrupts him, asking about Jedi Wedding traditions and lets Obi Wan ramble really happily about the research that the High Council had been doing to make sure they can recreate those traditions if Padme and Anakin want.

Obi Wan leaves with a promise that Padme and Anakin would come to speak with the High Council to make sure all the legalities (making sure everything is set up so that Padme can come and go as she pleases at the temple, and have a login to access the Archives, and would it be possible for her to come in for a baseline check up so that medical their records are up to date) are taken care of. As soon he is gone Padme grabs Anakin by the collar and goes ‘we can never tell them’

Anakin goes ‘what?’ 

‘We can never tell the Jedi why we were hiding our marriage. I’ll contact my parents as soon as it is morning on Naboo. They can back us up. We can say it is an old family tradition to hide the marriage for the first year. It isn’t used much, but after being in the public eye and with the War I was feeling superstitious, ok?’

Anakin goes ‘What, Why?’

Padme shakes at the arm in her hand, ‘telling the other Jedi that you didn’t trust them with your marriage would break their hearts. Do you want to be the reason small children are crying?’

Anakin looked far too considering for Padme's piece of mind, and what little sanity she had left. 

‘Let me put it this way, do you want to be what finally break’s Obi wan’s heart? That man was vibrating with excitement to celebrate our wedding so hard I could feel in the Force.’

Anakin deflated, ‘Oh. No.’

Padme’s parents laugh their ass off that she needs to create a long held family tradition because she doesn’t want to admit to the Jedi that she had thought they would react badly to her marriage.  They agree to do it. 

<Somehow this does derail Palpatine’s plans. Personally I want it to be in a way that leaves people unaware that he is a Sith, so for the rest of his life he needs to maintain the kindly old grandpa look and suffer for it- maybe something that means he has to actually live a clean life; no more crime or torturing for him.>

Twenty four years later Obi Wan helps Leia Naberrie meet up with Han Solo in order to Elope in the long held family tradition (Bringing with them only R2 to follow the actual tradition closer than they realize). Obi Wan very carefully leaves before Han arrives, so that he can truthfully say he does not know that they eloped. 

Leia’s twin Luke does not need to elope, as he followed his Uncle Obi Wan into the Jedi (an unrelated note he also followed Obi Wan into the mindset of ‘Why Monogamy when Harems naturally occur’-From that day the war ends Obi Wan has no less than three clones with him at all times; he also appears to have a lover, a friend, or an antagonist that he has weirdly sexual dialogue with on every planet he visits. Or Hondo Ohnaka, who has a category all his own. The years that Boba Fett comes to the holiday meals as one of Luke’s plus 6’s-He couldn't choose just one and no one would think of making him- are among the most awkward of most of their lives.)

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Buck (and Eddie) mini meta - 7x10 (probably but could also be 7x09!)

I was going to make a quick post about this new shirt we have bts pictures of Buck and Eddie wearing - but well, I spiralled and it turned into this!! (under the cut to save your dash!)

So let's do Eddie first shall we!!

there are actually two shirts we've got bts of Eddie wearing which have me 👀👀👀

first up is this green number we have bts of him wearing at the firehouse (not 100% sure if this is an actual costume or just Ryan's clothes but I'm fairly sure it's an Eddie outfit!)

Why am I side eyeing so hard at this do you ask? well its a very similar shirt to the one we have seen him in before - in 5x13 when he has his break down. Its not the same, but similar - no cut off sleeves, but its the same army green.

We see this tee at he culmination of Eddie isolating himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) through the start of 5b and then blowing up his life in 5x13 - when he trashes his room and Chris calls Buck.

I think we're about to see something similar play out in the last couple of episodes of season 7 - Eddie increasingly choosing to isolate himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) as he spirals out with this vertigo arc. Ryan has said in interviews that Eddie will be isolated by the end of the season, this costume therefore parallels Eddies arc of 5b - especially if we include the use of white on Eddie as well (and Buck in Blue in the same scene!). Eddie does something drastic and then pretends everything is ok - before proceeding to spiral out and blow up his life in some way.

5x11 - we have the aftermath of Eddie leaving he 118 - dinner with Buck and Taylor when he and Buck have a mini disagreement about Eddie coming back to work - which is preceeded by us being shown how Eddie is not actually ok - leading in to 5x13 when Eddie has his breakdown whilst wearing an army green tee and Buck breaks down the door to get to him and literally steps in to the mess, bringing the 118 into help as well (represented by Bobby being there when Eddie wakes up).

Then we have season 7 - the aftermath of Eddie asking Marisol to move in with him and then it is made clear that Eddie has moved too fast, that he doesn't actually know Marisol, or ultimately feel comfortable with the relationship - and now we've watched him (still in white in the scene where he sees Kim) spiralling out and heading towards isolating himself in the same way he did in season 5. The use of a similar army green tee in 7x10 suggests that we're going to see something similar unfold as things come to a head in the vertigo arc. Im especially intrigued because Buck it seems is going to be in uniform for the scene (which side note plays into the Buck and Eddie blue green colour palette they've been using and in a reverse of the gym scene from 7x05!) we don't know where in the episode this scene falls, but my guess would be that its actually a scene from earlier in the episode - allowing for the blow up to happen and the fall out begin. (I also think this because of Helena and Ramon appearing - which I think will be later in the episode and in response to Kim's existence being more widely known about, but thats just me speculating!)

We do also have the t-shirt from 7x01 - which is not the same as the other two - its darker and more brownish than the two above, but it does play into a similar narrative - Eddie finding out about Chris and his multiple girlfriends and Buck stepping in (at Eddies request this time) to help and support the Diaz boys!

Eddie outfit two!

Then we have this outfit - which is contrary to popular belief, not the will reveal outfit, but actually the Ana as Eddies girlfriend reveal to Chris outfit.

The two outfits are very similar, but the will reveal outfit is a navy blue shirt (which is important as it plays into both blue/green and blue/yellow theory - which gains even more significance now we know that it is likely this was meant to be the beginning of at the very least a queer narrative for Buck and the implication is that it would've been the beginning of buddie canon) this shirt and the Ana reveal shirt are both black and have silver eyelets on the shirt opening

For me, the fact that it is the same outfit as that reveal rather than the will reveal is suggestive that this outfit is in some way going to be connected to the reveal of Kim. In the same way that the Ana reveal outfit is connected to two scenes

- Eddie telling Chris and the salad bowl getting smashed,

- Eddie realising Chris has gone missing only to find out he's run to Buck's

I feel like this one is also likely to be connected to two scenes - what they are and where this hospital scene fits within the wider episode, it is hard to fully form ideas on the full meaning behind the fact that he is wearing the same outfit. Because does this scene come before or after the arrival of Helena and Ramon, what is the connection to Bobby being in the hospital and Eddie wearing this outfit? My personal opiion is that this outfit is going to be involved in people finding out about Kim.

As an addition to this, we should also talk about the fact that Eddie always wears black in relation to key scenes with Marisol and Kim and it continues a trend of Eddie wearing black in key scenes in relation to his relationships.

When Eddie and Marisol meet at the hardware store he is in black, when asking her to move back out, black shirt. Then with Kim -both scenes with her when he talks to her he is in black - black shirt in the store and a black jacket when they go on their date.

He was also wearing Black in key moments with Shannon (divorce request scene as well as in flashbacks) and with Ana ( first meeting and panic attack scenes). I've spoken before about the choice to put him in a black singlet when he's in an emotionally vulnerable place, but with these additional scenes in mind, as well as the fact that we see him wearing black in the hospital during Bucks coma, as well as the fact we also get a similar shirt on Eddie back in 7x01.

I think its fair to associate black more generally with Eddie being in a vulnerable place emotionally - the singlets are just worn at points when those vulnerable moments are about to tip Eddie into something stupid and this makes the use of the singlet in 7x04 for the basketball game even more interesting as it places Eddie into emotional vulnerability around Bucks bi journey and less about Bucks own emotional vulnerability - plays a little into the idea that they were going to have Eddies queer journey come before Bucks!

From a purely speculative position - my feeling is that this outfit comes after the arrival of Helena and Ramon and possibly towards the end of the episode.

The fact Eddie is wearing it at the hospital is possibly important, but I get the feeling it will be an outfit with more than one key scene attached to it (much like Eddie being in a black shirt when Buck came out to him was in two key scenes - Bucks coming out and Eddie asking Marisol to move out).

In the same way that in season 4 the Ana reveal was paired with a scene where Chris runs to Buck my feeling is that we're going to see something similar in season 7 with this - further adding to the parallels between the two seasons (see this excellent post by @iinryer for more on those!).

Part of my thinking comes from the fact we had this other bts of Buck, Eddie, Chris and Helena and Ramon. So we know that Eddie will be wearing a maroon henley for a scene in this episode.

I've spoken about Eddie wearing maroon long sleeved tops in relation to things being about Chris and Eddie parenting, and this one is likely to follow that theme, especially with Chis seemingly wearing the same outfit he was wearing when the fact he had multiple girlfriends was revealed.

The fact that buck is in a reverse outfit to the one from his discussion with Chris after that reveal (navy blue bottoms and yellow ochre top v yellow ochre bottoms and navy blue top), suggests to me that the are trying to do a couple of things here - they are flipping the scene - so it is still about a multiple girlfriends reveal, just Eddies rather than Christophers. It is also possibly a way to contrast the fact they set up Buck as sitting in parallel to Shannon (from both a costuming and directorial perspective), now they are reversing it and setting them in juxtaposition with one another - playing on the concept of one being alive while the other is dead and contrasting the actual reality of Eddies life with Eddies rose tinted version of things - the version he's trying to recreate with a doppelgänger.

Onto Buck

The shirt that changes colour depending on which picture you look at - is it brown and cream or dark greyish brown and blue/grey?!!

My personal feeling is that it will look more brown and cream on camera, but that we might see a little bit of the blue pinstripe come through! This means we need to not only look at Buck in pinstripes, but also when he has worn brown!

So lets look at when we've seen Buck wear brown!

We have 2x05 - a scene where Maddie is ranting about Gloria calling her constantly. In this scene Buck is in a brown marl tee (you'll have to take my word for it - I ran out of pictures and this one was the least important!), personally I don't think it fits into the narrative as it is a tee rather than a shirt or jacket, so I'm not including it in my wider anaylsis!

We get Brown sports jacket Buck - in 3x04 when he delivers the results of the 118's assessment and discovers Lena filing his space - Buck gets jealous and a little mad. (had to include the still where Edie is checking out Bucks ass because it will never not be funny and now has the added layers to it`!)

one episode later and we get more brown in the divorced buddie era 1.0 supermarket arguement of 3x05.

Things go quiet on the brown front for Buck until 4x14 and the 'it would've been better if it had been me who got shot' scene - this is is a borderline brown - it sits in the yellow ochre spectrum, but is closer to brown than yellow! This, like the last tine he wore brown, comes in the aftermath of Buck doing something stupid (climbing the crane)

Then Buck doesn't wear any brown in season 5, so its on to season 6 where we have 6x04 and this russet brown (which is a reddish brown) which Buck wears when Connor pays him a visit regarding the sperm donation.

Then later in the same season - 6x18 - we have the most recent Buck in brown sighting - when he is talking to Connor once more about Kameron being at his loft. with the added bonus of this being veritcally ribbed making it look like stripes!

As you can see we only see Buck wear brown in very specific moments and they tend to come in pairs - we get bright russety browns in the build up to Buck doing something stupid followed by a darker more muddy brown in the aftermath (in both s2 and s6). Only the one from season 4 doesn't fit the pattern as it doesn't have a pair.

But while events in seasons 3 and six are essentially of Bucks making - he sets things in motion - season 4 is not - Buck is not the instigator, he is a bystander dropped into the middle of something, if anything the fact his brown has yellowish undertones plays into its having a reverse effect - that it is the same as the russet browns - setting something in motion, but its pair is the brighter yellow ochre shirt from the will reveal - which sits in opposition to the darker browns - its not something Buck needs or wants to try and fix - its more of an affirmation of Bucks belonging and not something he needs to fight for.

I've spoken before in various meta's about brown being a colour of stability support and protection. it is also a colour of wisdom and counsel - and I think all of these will come into play with this new shirt in some capacity, because to put Buck in brown at this point is definitely a choice with intention behind it.

Now onto Buck in vertical stripes!

We'll do the light ones first. It's still insane to me that the first time we ever see Buck in vertical stripes is the shooting scene in 4x13.

Then ten episodes later, in 5x13 we see the next white striped shirt and its when Taylor is moving into the loft. These are the only two we have in a white and black/grey colour way.

The next time we see light stripes is in 6x01 - only now they are cream and blue rather than white and black/grey - when Buck moves his armchair and decides he doesn't need a couch .

Followed by 6x08 when Buck is in Uncle Buck mode and looking after Jee and being given the run around by her - again cream and blue.

The last Buck in light shirts with stripes sighting is from 7x05 - when he meets with Tommy for coffee, this time its cream with black and red stripes.

Then we have a couple of outliers - this light blue jacket from 6x01

and this grey one from 6x09

Then we have the dark ones!

This one from 4x14 when Taylor appears back on his doorstep after the shooting and kissing him

This one from 5x09 - the most awkward 'I love you' scene in the history of mankind

6x04 when he tells Conor and Kameron that he will be their sperm donor

in 6x07 we get two - both when he is trying to donate sperm and not being successful in this endeavour

in 6x17 we see him in this shirt when Maddie comes by for help with getting her stuck engagement ring off

and finally we have Buck and Tommys first date - which ends in failure.

and now we have a brown and cream/blue one joining the mix!

I've written before about Bucks vertically striped shirts - in various episode metas, as well as a separate post which is linked on my pinned post under Buck, But I'm going to talk about them again because he just keeps on wearing them at really interesting moments!

Buck seems to wear them at moments when he is essentially ‘imprisoned’ by something mentally - at moments when he either steps forwards or backwards in his self development, or stays in stasis - and which of these it is, is determined by the colour of the shirt and the stripes. The lighter ones are connected to moving forward and ultimately escaping, while the darker ones are about Buck being trapped and moving in the wrong direction.

Starting with the white shirts - I know on the face of it, it isn't easy to see either of the white shirts with black pinstripes as Buck moving forward, but while the scenes they are worn in themselves may not seem to be freeing, the resulting actions - the will reveal for the first one and the second one reveals Bucks true thoughts on his and Taylors relationship and thus marks the beginning of the end, I mean obviously the kiss is the actual moment that marks the beginning of the end but this moment - when he is talking to Maddie, the audience is made aware that Buck really and truly isn't all in with Taylor and that he has imprisoned himself - his ability to recognise that - the fact he is able to verbalise that he is afraid of being left - that is the moment of growth and escape for him.

The unhappy moments, the moments when he is regressing or clinging are signified by the black shirts with white or silver pinstripes.

With Taylor the two scenes we get black shirts with pinstripes are connected to Buck being in trauma response mode - the first in the aftermath of the shooting - starting a relationship when he's in a super raw place - his best friend has been shot and he's looking after said best friends son and climbing cranes to try and protect the rest of his found family (also adding Maddie's impending PPD to this as well as the Daniel of it all although those are less central in this moment in time).

Then the second one comes in the 'I kinda love you for it' scene - and off the back of Buck feeling and fearing that he is being left - that Taylor is pulling away from him.

The three all connected to the sperm donation all play into the narrative that Buck hasn't thought the sperm donation through fully - that the universe is screaming at him and he's trapping himself in a prison - we do see some of that play out as the season progresses when he becomes embroiled in Conor and Kameron's marriage and pregnancy dramas when his part in it all should've been done.

The scene with the stuck ring is a scene very much about Maddie but Buck does drop himself in it on two fronts - the ring cutter and in letting Maddie know that Hen and Chim had an arguement over Chim proposing to Maddie.

Buck and Tommys first date - again a prison of Bucks own making - this shirt very much plays into the disastrous nature of the date - with Bucks 'I'm and Ally' and comment about going to 'find chicks'

Then we have the shirts that somewhere in the middle. - the blue one from 6x01 where we have a Buck doing some mental self torture trying to work out why he’s been passed over for the interim Captain job but finally figuring it out,

The three cream ones are all essentially the cure for the previous, darker stripes - they play into the idea that Buck is learning and growing - in a way he wasn't when it was just black and white shirts and stripes from seasons 4 and 5 when we got a white shirt followed soon after by a black shirt (4x13 - White - 4x14 - black) or vice versa (5x09 - black - 5x13 - white).

We have 6x01 with the blue then cream - Buck in a mental prison around what he wants in life, but choosing to embrace being on his own and seeing where life takes him by the end of the episode. 6x04 and 6x07's navy blues connected to the sperm donation arc followed by 6x08's cream and blue one of the very real children in his life - one who he gets to be an active part of watching grow up. 7x04's navy date shirt one followed by 7x05's cream, black and red shirt when Buck requests and is granted a do over with Tommy

So how is this brown and cream one going to fit in? Well that is the million $$$$ question isn't it! My feelings are that it's going to fit in with the pattern and have a reverse one to go with it. Now I have two theories - the first is that its actually the brown pair to the one from season 4 - that its going to connect into Buck's statement that it would've been better for Chris if he'd been the one hurt - and therefore connect into the will of it all, playing on the concept of Chris (and Buck) finding out about Kim - connecting Eddies outfit into the equation - and lead to Buck once again stepping up to look after or support Chris in some capacity (maybe we'll get a parallel of Chris running to Buck after finding out about Ana and have Chris running to Buck after finding out about Kim, who knows!).

The other option is that we'll only see the pair to this brown striped shirt later down the line - whether we see that before the end of the season or have to wait for the start of season 8 I do't know - it really depends on how they close out this season and the Buck and Eddie arcs.

I'd like to think the fact that its brown and therefore means stability, support, protection and wisdom, means that it will be connected to Buck discovering Eddies cheating and then stepping up to support him and Chris through the fall out (after perhaps taking a moment to consider things) and that it is tied into the season 4 parallels, but I guess we'll all have to wait and see!

Essentially all of Bucks striped and or brown tops have a pair and play on the idea of light and dark to varying degrees as well as the concept of being trapped or imprisoned by some form of traumatic event.

Hopefully this makes sense and that you've enjoyed reading this deep dive into Bucks stripes and Eddies wearing of black! I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Tagged people below

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@chaosandwolves

[legoprime]

On the topic of the previous post, I've been having some Thoughts about Varric and my (pro-mage, Andersmancing) Hawke lately, let me see if I can get them down into words.

Like... okay, let's start at the beginning. Varric meets this refugee who he's heard a lot about, hires him onto an expedition. They start working together and Varric realizes this guy is pretty funny, always down for a laugh and a drink at the Hanged Man. They have very compatible personalities and quickly become good friends.

Varric is settled in deep in Kirkwall, and over the years Hawke gets settled in pretty well too. His family retakes their estate, he starts doing jobs for and around the Viscount, and he seems to be the only one the Arishok will talk to which is pretty important for the overall wellbeing of the city. This culminates in Hawke becoming the literal Champion of Kirkwall, the savior of their city. That's about as entrenched as you can get.

Alongside all of this is Anders, who is also friends with Varric and generally down for a joke and a good time, but who can get a bit too serious about mage rights for Varric's tastes. It's not that Varric has a huge difference of opinion on the matter, it's just that he'd rather not have to think about difficult things like that. He's happy and content in his life, and he has everything he needs right where he is. What happens in the Circle stays in the Circle, it doesn't affect Varric.

When Hawke begins his relationship with Anders, Varric jokes about it. "Are you sure about the possessed mage?" It's taken lightheartedly, because Hawke is his best friend and he supports whatever weird relationship choices he makes. "You do you, Hawke, but that's probably gonna end badly."

And then The Last Straw happens. And then the Chantry is destroyed, and fire rains down over the city, his city, and Varric watches his best friend side with the man who did it, his lover and partner who he has supported all of these years, and for the first time Varric is forced to actually recognize that Hawke and Anders share the same values. "I'm not sure we should be doing this" he says, in some vain hope that, I dunno, maybe Hawke will turn around and say, "You know what you're right bestie, let me just put the lid back on this stewing mage rebellion and then everything will be normal again and we can forget this ever happened".

Instead he watches Hawke put a different cause above the wellbeing of his city--their city, the one he thought they both cared just as deeply for--for the first time, and then he watches Hawke and Anders and all the newly freed mages leave.

Years later when the Inquisitor asks Varric about all of this and he reminisces about Hawke and scoffs about Anders, it's in this almost longing, mournful way of someone who lost a friend and blames their significant other for it. There's a part of Varric that, even then, is still thinking, "if only Hawke had never gotten in bed with Blondie, then maybe he'd have made the 'right' choice and we'd all still be together having drinks at the Hanged Man." But he knows that will never happen again, because he knows even when Hawke comes to Skyhold that when he leaves he's going back to Anders.

When he tells stories of Hawke's adventures and leaves out the parts about Anders, or actively talks shit about him, it's because it's easier to blame everything that happened solely on Anders rather than admit Hawke was a different person than Varric thought he was.

[yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy]

Just hit me that Episode 1, a big seed of insecurity is planted in Powder when she overhears Mylo and Vi arguing about her, but she leaves before Vi stands up for her, and then in Episode 9 she overhears Silco musing about how he has his dream in his hands and all he needs to do is give up Jinx. It cuts away before we see anything happen next but it can be surmised that she knocked him out before he was made aware of her presence.

At her most tenuous and uncertain of who she was—awkward Powder, frenetic Jinx— Fate decided to have her stumble upon important conversations had by those she loved about her worth and value as a person, and understandably she fled before she could hear the final verdict.

In Episode 1, she ran from the door with the impression that her sister thought she would never be strong enough, never be good enough, and any conversation to the contrary were just lies that family tells you to make you feel better. In Episode 9, she knocked out Silco before he could monologue his decision (lol) because she has been this man’s shadow for 6 years. She knows that he values utility, ruthlessness, and his dream of a free Zaun at all costs. No matter how fond he was of her, how gentle or patient or allowing, it all culminated into her being the powerhouse that would land him Zaun, and now he has it, so what good is she now? By all metrics that she herself has witnessed of him, all signs point toward him favoring giving her up.

It’s a mixture of Jinx’s own insecure attachment and Silco’s almost pathological refusal to not define their relationship as her being an exception to his personal policy of cutthroat zig-zagged loyalty that led to Jinx jumping to very logical conclusion that he would give her up to Piltover. Because he delayed having that very important internal conversation with himself about how important she was to him, he had to have that debate right at the finish line instead of, I don’t know, at Singed’s operating table when he was in danger of losing her?? Life comes at you fast and you don’t have time to sort out your feelings, I suppose. The show is very much a whirlwind of everything happening at once, but moving on…

But it also makes sense, because Silco’s love for Jinx is hinted at having snuck up on him without him fully noticing. He thought he was in control of his fondness for her. He must have thought it was an understandable and unavoidable side effect to raising a protegè that you genuinely respect for her cleverness and usefulness. But he grew to genuinely love her in his unfulfilling, disparate way. It filled some holes, and left others bare. The question of unconditional support and love was broken with Vi, and Silco by his nature, his behavior, his endeavors ensured that Jinx grew up in an environment where social darwinism reigned supreme and that faltering or failing rendered you lesser in Silco’s eyes. Silco never outright said it to her. We never see him denigrate or threaten her, but kids don’t need to be told anything to get the general feel of “how things are”. The general air around Silco was one that encouraged her penchant for gadgets and engineering, but left her suspended in a limbo where she felt compelled to be strong, be the best, be perfect, otherwise he would look elsewhere. He would drop her, because the strong eat the weak and he only values her because she is uniquely strong. A gem in his collection, almost. It’s a girl whose abandonment issues have her seesawing back and forth between cavalier “I don’t caaaaare, I’m irreplaceable and you know it” and “Please don’t drop me, I’m strong, I’m good, I can do this, I can, I can, I swear I can” which, in Episode 9 culminated in her Shimmer psychosis as “How dare you. After everything I’ve done, after everything you’ve lectured me about Topside, you want to give me to them? Who do you think you are? I made you. I’m this broken fizzing-wire thing whose sister gave me up for a Topsider, I killed my childhood best friend with a bomb, and now you want to throw me away for your shiny dream city? You think you can throw me away like trash, don’t you dare look away, don’t you DARE THROW ME AWAY”

Like GIRL. I usually hate the “left before they heard the context of someone’s seemingly damning conversation” but it works here because it aggravated therapy-needed Powder/Jinx’s insecurities.

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Hot take:

Coriolanus Snow did not love Lucy Gray, even though he loved her.

Bear with me for a second I know this sounds like an oxymoron but I promise I can make it make sense. The TL;DR is that both SnowBaird shippers and detractors are right, but also very very wrong. I’ll explain.

People who say Snow was genuinely in love with Lucy Gray are wrong. Flat out incorrect. And I say this so bluntly because of one simple factor: before the games, he needed Lucy Gray to promise total devotion to him. This 16 year old girl was about to be thrown into an arena to fight to the death and his concern was whether she was committed to him?? That’s not love. That’s need. Remember the saying “if you love someone, let them go”? It exists for a reason. If you truly love someone, you want what’s best for them. You want them to be happy, even if that means stepping away. Snow was not ready or willing to do this. If there was even a chance of him having to step away, he was prepared to just leave her to her fate to die. And this happened relatively early in the story when you look at the importance of events. Most of the moments we can point to and go “that’s a turning point for him” happen either during or after the games. Funnily enough this ties to a very simple fact of the story that seems to fly over a lot of fans’ heads, if they’re not just outright ignoring it.

Snow did not lose his mind or go insane over the course of the story. The whole point is that he was always this way, and looked every opportunity to choose to be a good person dead in the eyes as he dashed them to pieces, burned them to ashes and used the charcoal left over to draw happy little doodles on their graves. This story has two points, with the first being a subversion of the “uwu villain with a tragic backstory to excuse their actions” trope. The second one is gleefully stewing in all the ways the people Snow wronged in his early life haunted him until the day he died, especially Sejanus and Lucy Gray. That’s just one example of Snow not actually caring about Lucy Gray, but there are more. They’re sprinkled all throughout the story, culminating in the final scene where he attempts to murder her.

However

Coriolanus Snow did have genuine feelings for Lucy Gray. He was prepared to ruin his entire future to save her, knowing that getting caught cheating would destroy all he’s worked for his entire life. When he was forced to become a peacekeeper, he asked to go to 12 in hopes of seeing her again. He went out of his way to track her down and they shared genuine moments together. By now, he has no ulterior motive for being around her. No prize, no game to win, nothing to gain except happy memories. Snow wanted to be with her. And Lucy Gray wanted to be with him. There’s a skeleton of a genuine relationship there, inklings of the love story Lucy Gray was convinced they were destined to have. That wasn’t fake, those were real feelings and it could have been beautiful. If it wasn’t for one tiny little problem: Lucy Gray is not who Snow thought she was. She isn’t who he wanted her to be. In other words:

Coriolanus Snow thought he loved Lucy Gray Baird, when in actuality he loved the idea of her he’d created in his mind.

You see, this boy is the least reliable narrator to ever narrate in the history of ever, beaten out only by Humbert Humbert. And in similar fashion to Lolita it looks like people are making the mistake of taking his word at face value when the point the book tries to make is that you should not do that. Snow looked at his choice to keep bashing Bobbin over the head after he was already knocked out and decided to take it as evidence that all human beings lose their humanity when cornered (even though he was no longer cornered), he is very clearly not a trustworthy individual when it comes to making logical deductions. Especially because he can be neck-deep in denial sometimes. Snow never cared about Lucy Gray, the Covey girl, singer and performer who lost most of her family to a massacre and was forced to stay in one district rather than moving around like she used to. He cared about Lucy Gray Baird, district 12’s female tribute for the 10th hunger games. And those are not the same people. Tribute Lucy Gray Baird was locked in a zoo, forced to perform at all times to survive. Lucy Gray was free to be her authentic self (trauma not withstanding) and while she loves to perform, it’s a different kind. There’s no pressure, she can leave the stage if she so desires. She can roam as free as one can in the districts and no longer needs a mask to live.

In the book, Snow outright says he wishes she was still locked in the zoo so he knew where she was and she couldn’t leave. He loved the Lucy Gray that was contained. The one that was considered his by the people around him. The girl who relied on him completely because she had to. He loved what she was forced to be in order to not die, and when he saw the real her he wished she would be more like the girl he met. Which was not the real Lucy Gray. Snow loved the act she put on, and to some extent the control he had over her. He had genuine feelings for her, but not for the real her.

To conclude this rambly mess: shippers will pretend Snow genuinely loved Lucy Gray for all she was. This is not true. A certain subsect of people who hate this ship will say he never cared for her at all. This is also not true. And in a fandom for a book about the nuances of even the worst people on earth, that’s very funny.

[themisteriousentity]

Do you ever think about how perfectly the three house leaders embody the concepts of "past, present, future"? At least in Houses, it gets a little more muddled in Hopes

Dimitri heavily embodies the past and the way it can drag you down. He forgets the importance of the present and even when going to the officer's academy, he's only going to get access to church records to investigate the tragedy of Duscur, as evidenced by that one event where Dedue and Byleth happen upon him researching late at night in the library and he's investigating Arundel. Even by the end of Azure Moon, he's still not thinking about the future, only putting a stop the the present cruelty and focusing on trying to help that girl he knew in the past until he realizes he can't. It's not until the very end of the game that he breaks from the shackles of his past, but he's also never 100% in the present due to, in Azure Moon, the past never 100% being demystified, as shown by how those who slither in the dark are only eradicated in specific epilogues if you recruited the right characters + bought the DLC.

Edelgard easily represents the present. Her entire focus is on the events of her lifetime and the conclusions she came to based only on (incorrect) past and present information. She came to a conclusion very young and never waivered from it nor investigated it further and only looks towards fixing the problems of the present. The present is built upon by the past, and she perfectly shows that by holding onto past facts to influence the present, but she does not consider the long term future. A youtube video I watched but can't remember the channel name for (I will edit it in as a link if I can remember it) once pointed out that with a merit based appointment system, it'll fall apart as soon as Edelgard is gone and no longer there to maintain it. Not to mention that, like Azure Moon, Crimson Flower has the same issue of only borderline mentioning those who slither in the dark's ultimate demise, and we don't even get a satisfactory ending to that in Crimson Flower. (Side note, Silver Snow is better abut this but is not entirely relevant as that is a Lordless route).

Claude meanwhile is always looking towards the future, informed well by the past and present. He is, of course, aware and affected by the past and present, but like the future itself uses it to build the road to tomorrow. And unlike Dimitri and Edelgard, who have a single minded focus and don't plan for backups, understands that there's no guarantees in anything and is always planning contingencies when he can. And because the future is built from the past and present, he's also the character who most seeks out to demystify them in order to build that future, because even if you don't know a past event, it will still have ripple effect into the future. It's what makes it very important that, unlike Dimitri and Edelgard, Claude steps down from leadership of Fódlan entirely once he uncovers the full truth and realizes that, for all intents and purposes, his type of leadership isn't needed in Fódlan after what it went through and that his next best step is to go back to Almyra and start the next steps there. In fact, in Verdant Wind, they actually almost entirely take care of those who slither in the dark with the only remaining one being Cornelia, but even THEN he had a contingency when he came back to save Fódlan with the Almyran army in the epilogue. Even in other routes, he manages to always perfectly plan for both his demise and his victory, culminating (outside his own path) in Crimson Flower where he plans for his own death. He never stops thinking about the different twists and turns the future can take and plans for it.

This ended up a little bit Claude heavier but to be fair, he usually gives me more to think about.

[sozzledjuja]

me ranting about what i need to see in season 3

(yeah, it's pretty long)

The important/plot twists/character development

Iris and Praxina being the focal points of the season

Remember, Praxina was created to be an anti-Iris, so there’s no better season than this one to explore that. 

Main conflict: Praxina is convinced Iris is responsible for Mephisto’s death (Iris didn’t kill Mephisto, it was a culmination of events that led to it, but Praxina needs a scapegoat, someone to dump her anger and grief on, because she can’t cope with loss in a healthy, non-destructive way). So, she is set on making Iris lose the people she cares about (Nathaniel, and also probably her friends), to make her feel the way she does.

The vision I have for these two in season 3 is that their actions will be correlated, each making the other do unspeakable things over accumulated resentment and hurt and grief, in a vicious cycle. Then somewhat meet in the middle at the end. Maybe…

Iris becoming more and more paranoid

Iris getting nervous everytime she sees a butterfly, for example. Very worried that she’s going to lose Nathaniel, her friends, her parents, or Ellira, at any moment. Makes her sometimes not be very rational. 

Maybe it will affect her relationship with Nathaniel too. Maybe she’ll think that in order to keep him safe from Praxina, she has to distance herself from him.

BECAUSE I WANT THIS GIRL TO GET SOME ARC TOO. Allow her to be angry, do questionable things, be flawed, be scared.

Guilt over Mephisto’s death

This one is for both Iris and Praxina. 

Because while Iris doesn’t have much to do with Mephisto’s death, I don’t doubt that part of her will start doubting it, wondering if everything that’s happening is, in fact, her fault. 

And Praxina, who didn’t appreciate her brother while he was right there next to her, finally realizing how much she actually needed him. You know what they say, you only truly appreciate someone after you lose them. AND THE GUILT-

More interactions between Iris and her parents

I just really really want this. And to learn more about the King and Queen of Ephedia. Because it has so much potential for added inner conflict inside Iris’ head. 

Because if you really think about it, the King and Queen of Ephedia are just strangers to her, who just so happened to be her birth parents. But weren’t the ones who raised her, who were there for her her whole life. Ellira was.

Not that it’s their fault. Not at all. They made a sacrifice to keep her safe. I know they would’ve done anything to see their little girl grow up. And Iris knows this, and I think, for a while, she’s going to feel a bit guilty for seeing Ellira as more of a parental figure than them. 

Also, I feel like Iris’ parents would never resent Ellira for this, but I do think they will be a little hurt. 

Iris attempting and failing to balance her Earth life with her Ephidean one

Because she will definitely be going back and forth between the two worlds, trying to keep everything balanced. Her social life with her friends on Earth, her relationship with Nathaniel, the band, her princess duties, the rebuilding of Ephedia, royal ceremonies, etc…

And if she had trouble before, I can’t imagine now.

Iris not being sure if she wants to become the future queen of Ephidea

Let’s face it. It was all really pretty and fun while they had the goal to defeat Gramorr and free Ephidea. No need to think about what would happen next, because even that was a big “if”. 

Now, Iris is finally gonna have to come to terms with the fact that she is THE future heir to the throne, But is she even fit to lead a whole kingdom? Does she even want to? Won’t that mean she’ll have to leave her Earth life behind? Nathaniel?

The King and Queen not approving of Iris’ relationship with Nathaniel

Not because they dislike him, or simply because he is human (they don’t seem like that kind of people), but because they want to protect their daughter from getting hurt. Not from him. But from having to inevitably let him go eventually. Again, she is the future queen. She has responsibilities on Ephidea, not on Earth.

Also, there’s this whole question line of “do ephideans live longer than earthlings?”. Because I feel like that's also relevant to this point.

Praxina slowly descending into madness (bonus points if physical corruption)

Her madness trip should be a linear thing, getting worse and worse each episode. 

More towards the end PLEASE fuck up her face a bit. Not necessarily permanently but like- I wanna see this girl with one side of her face corrupted with dark magic (we saw Gramorr underneath the mask), eyes red, going full eldritch abomination mode.

Her crying while laughing hysterically and maniacally AT LEAST ONCE please please.

Also, not to be that person, but she’s gonna be so hot that season, istg I’m not prepared.

What the fuck is up with those butterflies?????

Imma be real rn. I’m begging for the creators NOT to pull a Hawkmoth on Praxina. Let the butterflies be spies only, there’s no need for much else. If they make the butterflies mind control people, I'm gonna lose it. This isn’t miraculous 2.0.

Iris’ Shanilla form going batshit on Praxina/Big Final Battle

Because if Praxina does manage to kill someone or several people Iris loves, even if only temporarily (yall know this show is for kids, no one's dying permanently - though it would be cool to see a darker narrative), Iris is gonna lose it, and I expect a full dark shanilla mode. Going absolutely off the rails on Praxina, and then having an “oh shit, what am I doing?” moment.

Banes being shady and the true mastermind aka Final Boss

I want to see the build up to this, how he stays in Praxina’s shadow and “helps” her, making her feel like she’s in control, when she’s not.

And I fully believe Banes had his eye on her even before Gramorr was defeated. Not long before, but when there was only one gem left to complete the crown of Ephedia, and he started to suspect Gramorr’s chances at winning were slim, he definitely started to plot his next “puppet”.

Zenavion/Banes?????

Zenavion was mentioned once, but whyyyy??? My guess is that Banes is Zenavion. Or belonged to Zenavion/was his creation. But I’m leaning more towards the first one. Maybe he got himself turned into an entity of dark magic after years of meddling with power he shouldn’t have, leaving him stuck in that feline form with only a fraction of the power he once had? Sounds super interesting and would make for a great Final Boss.

What is his goal? Maybe to return to his full power and autonomy? Maybe he needed the power of the crown of Ephedia for that. 

That would explain why he picked Gramorr, who was in the same circles as the royal family, at the time.

Also Praxina blaming Iris, the princess of Ephedia, and future heir to the throne, for her brother’s death, and blaming her for it? Also very convenient that she was a young girl who had just lost her only support, and was completely alone and vulnerable. Easy to manipulate.

Gramorr’s backstory

I need it. For someone who was the main villain for two whole seasons, he sure got no depth at all. Which was kinda disappointing. Hope this season clears everything up. 

Perhaps Banes manipulated him and he never realized it? What were his initial motivations? His past? Also what was the deal with him and the royal family? With Morgane? I bet all those people have a lot to say and explain about him.

The mask

I’m sure Zenavion created it, centuries ago. I want to know how it works, how much it controls the user, how fast it corrupts them, why it was created in the first place, and how it ended up in Gramorr’s hands in the first place.

Also wouldn’t it be so cool if the current user of the mask had access to the memories of the previous users??? That way we could get Gramorr’s backstory through Praxina, like YES.

The yellow gem thingie????

The gem in Gramorr’s hand that was pierced by Iris in the finale, is now on Praxina’s chest. Do with that information what you will.

Big Betrayal moment between Banes and Praxina

Gramorr/Praxina parallels

Cause it’s inevitably gonna happen. Maybe he promises her a way to bring Mephisto back. But it’s all a ploy to get her to do horrible things for him, to allow him to return to his true form, and has nothing to do with Mephisto.

Girl is gonna be played big time. 

Because now they’re kinda connected, with Praxina being manipulated by Banes the same way Gramorr probably was, in the past. And both ultimately got betrayed by him.

Praxina getting a long deserved reality-check

Because as much as I love her, she needs someone to spew some hard truths on her. It IS her fault. She IS a bad person, and a bad sister. And in order to get redeemed, she needs to confront that.

Izira’s medallion????

Anyone remember how the one object with immense power and the ability to TURN BACK TIME literally fell down a cliff during the final battle with Gramorr? Because I sure do. 

And this could be a super irrelevant thing, but I do think it’s interesting that it fell in roughly the same place where Mephisto would have (hypothetically wink wink). 

Don’t know what they’d do with this necessarily, but it has the potential to be a very important plot point.

Mephisto being alive (duhhhh)

As long as it’s not shown from the beginning. I feel like Praxina’s whole arc would be much more satisfactory if he was only revealed to be alive, halfway through the season or later, in the very end. Note that when I say “revealed to be alive”, I mean, to us, the people watching the show, not to Praxina. She should only know this at the end of the season. For the plot.

Mephisto donning the scars and maybe some type of disfiguration on the side of his body that took the blast. It would make sense for him to be able to teleport, but the half of his body that was leaning more towards the energy source took most of the blow).

Mephisto having his own mini character arc, away from the main conflict

He probably needs to heal from the blast, and that would be hard for him, both physically and mentally. If part of his face/body gets “burned” by the blast, my boy is definitely not gonna take it like a champ at first.

Also, I’ve said this before, but I don’t think he’d go look for Praxina immediately after he’s doing better. Not because he doesn’t care about her, or doesn’t miss her, but because he thinks she doesn’t need him and is better off without him.

Iris (finally) telling Nathaniel the truth

I’d like to see him struggle with something like this, maybe meet some new characters and form connections with other people. It’s a great opportunity for him to mature and learn who he really is, outside of Gramorr’s or his sister’s shadow. An opportunity to atone for his mistakes, and make up for it. He was, and a lot of people forget, a war criminal.

Sibling reunion

I want tears and a proper hug, and Praxina completely falling apart. Bonus points if she doesnt want to believe it's actually him at first, because that would be too good to be true. They're both fucked up, both physically and mentally, but they're together at last.

And him NOT forgetting it right afterwards.

Everything that is important but isn’t necessary for the plot

THE TWINS’ BACKSTORY

We all know this is the one thing that actually matters. And I will lose my shit when it does. 

Gimme them happy flashbacks followed by the deadly pain.

And this needs to be a WHOLE episode worth of flashbacks. Like a whole flashback episode. They deserve that much.

Also who the hell is Pappy?

Mephisto’s staff!!!

Unimportant but uhh, if it’s so powerful, a lot could be done with it. And it’s probably still in the cave hideout. Praxina could get her hands on it.

Also how did he get it in the first place?

Explanation of the magic system

Worldbuilding/Ephidea lore

I want this so badly. I wanna meet more kingdoms, see how they look, what other colors represent them, the cultures, the people, etc…

I’m a sucker for this, and no one can deny that they got confused as fuck when the supposed “voice-based” powers, only actually matter in the first episode and then got dropped completely. Yeah, I know, the writers probably forgot. But please just make up a convenient connection to fill in that plot hole. This show needs to fix these damn plot holes.

Ephidea still very much being in shambles, and in need of rebuilding

Cause it can’t be that easy to put a whole planet back on track after a 15+ year old war, neither physically nor politically.

I wanna see meetings between all kingdom leaders, discussions on how to proceed, the release of war prisoners, etc… 

Oh, and the imprisonment and persecution of any of Gramorr’s former associates.

Backstory on how Talia and Auriana first met

I need it. And also an explanation on why they were the ones chosen to go to Earth, and find and train Iris, and WHO chose them for that mission exactly. 

Also, how did they even know Iris was on Earth? Fix these plot holes fr.

More of Auriana’s family

HELL YEAH 32 SISTERS. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, CHARACTER DESIGNERS. 

No, because I really need to meet them, and see what their dynamic is like. Also more of Jodan please. And their parents.

Also, the 34 children cannot be all fully blood related, can they? CAN THEY?

What happened to Talia’s parents? 

We haven’t seen them ever, so I’m assuming they’re dead.

More Izira

I just need more of her in general.

Also, she’s the heir to the throne of Xeris, and if her parents are dead, she is gonna have to fill it.

I fully expect an Izira coronation episode. Just imagine, new outfits for everyone.

The less important/cameos/things i wanna see just for funsies

New daily outfits

And I mean this in a “completely drop the old ones” kinda way. Not because I don’t like them, but because I feel that, with all that’s changing in the show, now that the same formulaic plot has finally broken, the outfits should also change. To indicate a new era of sorts.

New songs/new concert outfits, etc…

Me like it.

Talia’s ghost powers

They just dropped this plot point like; whatt????

I just want a little more light in this. Some Talia backstory as well, because we know she was bullied for it when she was a kid.

Also, I wanna meet the only other princess with this ability.

Have Talia and Praxina met before the start of the show???

It’s been pointed out several times that Praxina seems to know an awful lot about Xeris, and even possesses some Xerian artifacts and scrolls. Why and how did she get her hands on it? And it would make sense if Mephisto also seemed to know these things, but he doesn’t.

Also, they seem to have some underlying tension. Which could be simply because- well, they’re on opposite sides and hate each other?? Would be perfectly plausible. Or maybe they’ve met each other before. How and when? I wouldn’t know.

A musical episode???

Because wdym you have all these talented voice actors that sang in My Little Pony, and fucking BARBIE (don’t forget Praxina IS Barbie. They have the same voice actress), and never once have we heard ANY of them sing with their actual voices. 

Also it would be so fun for a change. Please, just one, I’m begging you.

A little more of Carissa and Lyna

Hear me? A little. Not a lot. 

I know a lot of people love them, and so do I, but I really don’t want them to join the gang permanently. Definitely not join the band. This ain’t winx club.

Jk, but actually I’m not.

Still, I do want to learn a bit more about them, some backstory insights, their families, how they met each other, etc…

What happened to Lev?

Is he actually dead? Or did he manage to escape and joined the resistance? I just need some confirmation.

Because if he is alive, he’s gonna be helping rebuild Ephidea for sure. It's gonna be interesting to see the dynamic he’s gonna have with Iris, in this scenario.

But just like with Lyna and Carissa, to me, personally, he is not a priority.

I would love for these characters to be explored more if there was a fourth season, but I just feel like, in season 3, there are just so many more important things to touch upon, and so many new things happening, that too many unnecessary details would make it lose impact.

A “Raffle Daffle” twins’ cameo

Just a small one. For funsies. They kinda just disappeared after that one episode (and thank god for that, because I hated them)

Kyle (blergh)

Please make him disappear. Or at least end things between them. Or end whatever there is between them. I’m not even asking for a big dramatic moment, just a “oh, this isn’t gonna work out” blah blah blah.

Or, you know, just him not showing up at all and everyone forgetting about him.

[tonydaddingham]

i did not break my own heart last night thinking about the missing 1941 scene and have it sat in my brain all of today spinning around like a fucking microwave in order to not make you lot suffer with me. and i somehow feel i may be right about this so buckle up and lets break it down.

so yes, following on from this post, i think that there is going to be a third 1941 scene. twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. it's been literally set up like that by even bringing back 1941 into s2 in the first place. but we're missing a crucial detail because it does not - at all, really - explain how they went from evading danger from hell and having a cosy candlelit bottle of red to celebrate, to the bastard 1967 scene. we all know this, this is nothing new.

the symbolism of nightingales is probably going to cast a shadow on this. these two excellent analyses look at the meaning of nightingales in the context of R&J, and the relation that the song has to this point in time, respectively. in summary; it's a song that should be around in 1941 courtesy of vera lynn and others, and the nightingale itself carries the meaning of love being hidden and forbidden by way of it singing under the cover of darkness, before being replaced with reality and soberness - represented by the lark. the Dinner of '41 scene is set in the bookshop at night; this would parallel - that they are safe and concealed, and truths can be shared, but the writing is on the wall that stepping outside would be to shatter the illusion, so to speak. it might be that the song itself gets miracled up onto the record player, or a wireless lying about - whatever. note: i don't think they'll dance though, not given crowley in ep5, "you don't dance"... but then again, if there ISNT a kiss in s3-1941, an aborted dance seems like the next best option... the cowardly one, but i'll take it

this would also track with aziraphale having his epiphany after the church in s1-1941; specifically, in my eyes, that he doesn't necessarily just realise he loves crowley, but that crowley by way of saving his books loves him too. this is only supported by the whole of the s2-1941 scene of trusting in each other as the only way to pull off the trick, the subterfuge. this is then, again, also important in the context of what i think happens in s3-1941.

i do think aziraphale is going to bring the books up again, and what crowley did, because it needs to be addressed. the Nazis/furfur confrontation has scared him, regardless of whether he saved them both, more than he realised. its put things into startling perspective. i think he's going to bring up the books, and actually question crowley a little more as to why he did it. the repeated use of, and subsequent weird reaction crowley has to, the use of the term "friend" in s2-1941 would indicate that this is going to be a focal point in s3-1941. are they just friends? is crowley disappointed that aziraphale is still referring to him as that, after what he did? 'saving' aziraphale in the church, and then saving his books? or is aziraphale just saying 'friends' so hesitantly in both instances because he's not completely sure where crowley stands?

we as the audience know the answer to this, but they obviously do not. if one of the crucial themes of s3 is going to be resolving miscommunication, it makes sense for this scene to be the first, and last, time they communicate properly... at least, until they sort out the issues that culminated in the Final Fifteen.

so let's say they start getting into a very roundabout way of discussing what they mean to each other. there will need to be the sobering, ice-water-over-the-head realisation however, as s2-1941 demonstrated, that they cannot belong to each other, because they manifestly belong to heaven and hell respectively. crowley is still being spied on, and it firmly places aziraphale in their line of sight too. it's going to bring up the holy water discussion; why crowley asked for it - to protect himself, whether by taking out demons or taking out himself, as long as it means he - and most importantly, aziraphale - does not get hurt.

they actively confess that they want to be together, in a way that is more than they are now. aziraphale wants to, but says that they can't, because it's too dangerous. crowley suggests that no one ever has to know, they can hide it (there, in the bookshop, whilst the nightingale is singing), and even if they are found out, they can run. "hell won't just be angry; they'll destroy you..." // "no one ever has to know".

aziraphale doesn't want to have to hide it, doesn't want a halfway measure- is still thinking in black and white. crowley however thinks that something is better than nothing - thinking in the grey. but ultimately, as long as they are still shackled, they cannot do what they want, and it puts the other in danger. "surely the great thing about being a demon is that you can do whatever you want" // "you sound jealous, angel...". instead, aziraphale promises that the day that they are no longer tied to heaven or hell, they can be together; crowley scoffs, thinking that that will never happen, so they will never happen, "you're so clever! how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?!"

the reason they can't right now is because they could be caught. they would have to skulk around, be ashamed, feel guilty - and aziraphale is tired of feeling like that. because only having crowley in secret would hurt more. not being able hold his hand, or dance with him, or kiss him, unless it was in the bookshop. if hell were to find out, crowley would be killed, true, but if heaven were to find out, aziraphale could be cast out. and if crowley survived hell long enough to see aziraphale fall - he'd never forgive himself, and in a way, i don't think he'd ever forgive aziraphale either.

it's tearing them to pieces, but they have to stop whatever is happening between them in its tracks. it's acknowledged, but it's not named. this gives them plausible deniability; if they called it 'love', it would be undeniable. so, aziraphale asks for crowley to go; asks him to leave before they do something they can't come back from. crowley doesn't listen - crowds him, gets in close, and aziraphale is powerless to stop it. doesn't want to stop it. he's selfish by nature, a selfless kind of selfishness, but he wants this with all his being. and then - "this is too fast, crowley, please don't..." // "im sorry, angel. please... please, forgive me". aziraphale never gets to answer, to grant him that, because boom - the actual first kiss.

so. now that i've had to make you read that, i'm going in for the kill. let's look at everything that follows - and look at how the above might recontextualise it.

1967: the offer of the picnic, the Ritz? ie. the literal lyrics of berkeley square? aziraphale has caved in the interest of giving crowley a weapon to use if all else fails, to protect him, but that's as far as he's willing to progress. everything else is still too painful; he's on the brink of tears, promising that one day they'll be able to do what they want, to be open about how they feel, but not yet. they can't. crowley tries to push, "ill give you a lift, anywhere you want to go..." (him offering again to run away? a second chance to leg it?), and aziraphale reminding him that they can't, he can't... don't make him go too fast again, it's not fair. it also sets up perfectly that aziraphale and crowley don't speak for the next 40 or so years (as far as we're aware) until armageddon is threatened.

bandstand: mostly this is still centred around the apocalypse contextually, but i think with the above hypothetical scene in mind (the offer to hide, to run away, to be together), aziraphale is sent back to remembering their mutual confession that they've nonverbally agreed not to bring up, because it's not safe, and it's too painful. they've skirted around it, and returned instead to a tentative kind of friendship at the beginning of s1, but they're still not safe to address why seeing each other again, being so close to each other and not being able to touch is so painful. anyway - aziraphale refuses their side, but the above scene would re-view this as 'our side can't exist yet, you know this! you know why it can't!', and crowley leaves, again after pushing a bit more than aziraphale can stand.

alpha centauri: basically a facsimile of the above; same steps, same dance. but this time, crowley harks back to aziraphale's foolish (?) hope that they will be together, without having to run away, when the day comes that they don't have to answer to heaven or hell. and aziraphale smacks him right back, echoing crowley asking for aziraphale's forgiveness in kissing him, "i forgive you." crowley knows exactly what aziraphale is getting at, there - he's answering crowley's whispered plea to forgive him for pushing, for trying to force him, for acting in desperation. but he's also not answering that - he's skirting around that very thing, forgiving him like a knife would, slicing back at crowley for not only insulting aziraphale on something that is likely a genuine insecurity of his, but also putting him back in his place, for their safeties, because them being together just cannot happen. not yet.

and "please forgive me" in 1941 might seem out of character, but idk if it is; crowley knows that doing what he's about to do will hurt aziraphale, aziraphale has (hypothetically) told him as much, but he needs to do it - and seeks not benevolence or forgiveness as crowley-the-demon, but actually seems aziraphale's forgiveness, as crowley-the-person. the echo would certainly match the tone given here, in multiple ways:

the ritz: i mean, what is there to say? yes, their song is literally playing on the piano, and heralds the shift in their being out from heaven and hell, the day has finally come where they can - again, going by this entirely hypothetical scene that ive concocted - actually be together as they want to. and the nightingale literally singing outside, but as @shoemakerobstetrician beautifully pointed out, god remarks that it's covered up by traffic. so actually, if we again refer back to R&J interpretation of the nightingale, the love is still hidden, still somewhat under wraps, but can only just about be heard over the noise of the streets outside. the prohibition of them being together, of loving each other, is dwindling. and one day, it'll stop singing altogether. that day is coming, it will come, and then they can do what they please. so whilst the ritz scene may well be a mark of them starting the next chapter, it's slow to take hold, there's still hesitancy - which absolutely makes sense when we see that they are still very tentative with each other come the beginning of s2.

s2 general: aziraphale realises their freedom first; he gets excited by the dance, and being able to show his love to crowley, completely and without barriers, in the form of the ball - what he has read to be the best way to do so. he touches crowley more. he shares his bookshop with him, gifts it to crowley as being his as well as aziraphale's, this safe space that is so wholly theirs that crowley has the power to grant entry. the same with the bentley - aziraphale sees it as theirs, and crowley silently agrees, granting aziraphale the same power. crowley is comfortable in the bookshop to remove his glasses, has a place for them. the bookshop becomes tidier, more minimalist, to make crowley more comfortable in it (it is more cluttered in s1, im certain of it). it might just be the grading between s1 and s2, and lack of clutter, but the yellow is more prominent - his literal favourite colour. everything just screams that aziraphale is ready to make good on his promise from s3-1941.

crowley... for once, is the one not quite catching up. not realising the little dates here and there are literally poses them as a couple (although yes, the coffee shop one is to prep crowley for the goob jumpscare), that aziraphale has granted him the power to grant entry. aziraphale literally asking, practically begging, crowley to help him hide goob. the mf colour of the walls. the colour of the bentley. it's not until nina outright asks him if they are together that he realises how careless they've been - but wait, is it careless if they have nothing to be careful of? well, arguably crowley does, hell are still hanging around him like a bad smell... but this is what he wanted! this is what he was pushing aziraphale for! so, does he risk it? he's not sure, but he's certainly realising that aziraphale is ready, if nothing else. and by the time the ladies stage their little intervention, crowley finally realises that the confession he started in 1941 now can be fully aired, can come out into the open.

the Feral Domestic: *fingers at temples* i know i have been fairly vocal about my interpretation of this scene, and frankly - until we get this hypothetical s3-1941 scene, i stand by it - but let's say this speculation about the scene is true, and re-examine the key points in the Final Fifteen that would completely turn on their heads in terms of meaning:

literally, harking back full circle to what aziraphale promised in 1967 as what they would do when they could fully acknowledge their love, and what they did as soon as - on paper - they were free at the end of s1. this is however before he's spoken to by nina and maggie, so maybe this is what crowley was planning in terms of confessing fully to aziraphale, but after their meddling he realised that yes, they need to actually talk about it again. he doesn't understand why they're telling him what they are - because he's existed so long in gestures and gifts and not talking, literally dismissed it now as a viable option, that it doesn't even occur to him to try talking again.

which is why he does something brave, and tries to tell aziraphale instead (say it out loud, make it undeniable, put a name to it, "i love you", something that i think was crowley's actual intention before aziraphale interrupts him) when he comes back to the shop... he's so nervous, because it's vulnerable, and because the last time he did, they ended up hiding for 50-ish years.

next up:

now, im reluctant to think that aziraphale lied in the Feral Domestic, because i do think the key thing at work is his paramount need to do the Right Thing (ie. make a difference in heaven). whilst metatron obviously manipulates him, im not entirely convinced that aziraphale wholly sees through it. i don't think he knew that metatron was up to something, i think the shaking off of this naivety is going to be part of his s3 character development. but this sentence - again, especially in context of the hypothetical s3-1941 scene - must on some level frighten him. especially if you take this meta into account, aziraphale must realise at least that they were never safe, even when they were denying what they were and how they felt, it didn't make a bit of difference. now, metatron could have just been talking about the arrangement, not referring to any romantic elements of any kind, but the threat of it? no wonder he pushes for crowley to join him in heaven; he could keep crowley safe there. they could be together, and heaven - in his eyes - would be able to say a word against it.

then:

the fear sets in; crowley was too late in telling him, acknowledging that they could be together, realising what aziraphale was saying to him without words, and now heaven has come for him. plonked them right back where they were in s2-1941, but perversely mirrored; instead of hell coming for crowley with violence, heaven came for aziraphale with kindness. crowley doesn't have a magic trick he can just do on the fly, perform it perfectly when the need for it is greatest, and has to cling to the hope that aziraphale still sees them as the barrier to them, the reason they can't be together. and in true miscommunication fashion, i think aziraphale does see it, but what metatron said lingers, and in addition to being inside the institution, changing it from the inside out, in order to make a difference... he knows that whilst it's exactly the opposite of what they wanted, he needs to make them safe. better to be inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in.

but aziraphale doesn't tell crowley what metatron said, because instead he either deliberately tries to deny the implications of it (cognitive dissonance king behaviour), or he doesn't want to panic crowley and is trying to convey to crowley that he can't speak his concerns, not when the metatron could still be watching, and instead just needs crowley to trust him, take his hand, and join him in heaven where they can be safe. doesn't tell crowley that heaven hasn't captured him in shackles again, but he's willingly held out his wrists because it's the safest thing for him, and them, to do.

so it's one thing to look at what crowley's saying, but aziraphale's reaction? before, i just found it to be out of confusion, him not really understanding what crowley was saying, but tbh i never paid much attention to it (david stole this bit of the scene - not to put down my beloved michael here, but he did). and i know others have remarked here that aziraphale is flitting his eyes to the window and looks scared and stressed, but i don't completely think that its because he's scared that metatron is watching (although, now, i will accept with the rug thing and hypothetical s3-1941 in context it is definitely playing a part), but also because he's just starting to recognise that this is a repeat of the s3-1941 scene, "this sounds familiar, we've been here before... oh, we've definitely been here before... oh shit. i still can't do this, not unless he comes with me. we still can't be together, not in the way crowley wants. the way he's trying again, now, to ask for."

but the issue is: crowley wants to run away together. again. and i totally get why, but once again, going back to 1941: it's exactly the solution that will not work. they cannot run from this. heaven, and hell, will find them. they will come for them. it wasn't an option in 1941, it wasn't an option in 2019, and it isn't an option in 2023. aziraphale begins shaking his head - crowley is confessing, but a) aziraphale doesn't run from things, it isnt in his character, and b) it's just putting them back where they started - something that they have to hide. it defeats the purpose.

and this? yeah, im sure on neither side it was meant the way im about to interpret it, more of an unspoken thing, idk... but if the bookshop is indeed their place of safety, and is where they (as far as crowley sees it) can speak and keep their love, it makes sense that crowley is telling aziraphale he needs to stay. the bookshop can be interpreted so many ways - it represents their relationship, or that crowley means him, himself - but what if we looked at it like crowley is trying now to covet it, because it's protecting them? what if he's saying, "well, if you won't run away with me, we can't be free to have our relationship as we wanted it, not unless we stay here... heaven has come for you, has come for us, and whilst they're here we can't move. so what other option is left remain in this bookshop? to never leave it, and what we have inside it, because there's no other option in which we can be together if you won't run with me."

and what if aziraphale is saying, "no, i have an option, and that's to be together in heaven! they won't be able to do anything, not when im in the position the metatron has offered me, that can be our new bookshop... nothing lasts forever - this bookshop won't last forever, it's compromised, and we can't continue to secret away what we feel inside it, it's time to move forward."

welcome to the line that breaks my heart the most in this whole goddamn scene - and tbh i think is fairly self-explanatory in the hypothetical s3-1941 context. that aziraphale is trying, once again, to tell crowley that he is offering himself, letting them be an 'us', as crowley says shortly after - that before he couldnt do it, and these arent the best of circumstances, but they can finally do it and not have to hide in the bookshop. but crowley reminds him, "hey, i was in your shoes, remember. i wanted us to be together then, and you told me you couldn't, didn't want a halfway measure - well, now i don't either. and this will be a halfway measure, because i don't think us being together in heaven is going to go the way you hope it will. i understand a whole lot better than you do." in any case, it would explain why aziraphale choses this moment to look so devastated. this is what he promised crowley, but now crowley - to his mind, in the things left Unsaid - doesn't want it... him.

and then... back to the nightingales. they're not singing at all, not even under the rumble of traffic, like they were at the Ritz. they're completely absent - day has broken, the things unspoken have now been said, and there's no denying them anymore. from crowley's point of view, there was nothing to stop them this time, but if aziraphale won't run with him, then they have to go separate ways, because there is no other way. aziraphale knows there's the possibility that the only place they could actually be safe is heaven itself, that the bookshop was never as safe as they hoped it had been, but that crowley might actually come to see that. but the fact that crowley is resigned to just... returning to 'reality', to a world that's still turning where they aren't together? despite everything they've just said? "we could've been... us." well, that hurts.

and then... the kiss. now. im still of the mind that the kiss was an Issue. i definitely think it was meant out of love and desperation, and out of possibly being a goodbye. this would echo the hypothetical s3-1941 kiss... but it was hurtful. it was abrupt, and harsh, and not at all romantic (imo). it was possessive, and almost cruel. i do think still it was a last ditch attempt, a temptation, to get aziraphale to change his mind, before crowley leaves the shop and returns to the 'real world'. but it hurts aziraphale in many different ways - but with 1941 put in there, too? crowley is just testing his resolve, trying to push him, come around to giving in. crowley asked him to forgive him the last time he kissed aziraphale, and this time - this time, aziraphale is giving him what he asked for.

[aninventoryofthepossible]

Inspirations for VOID 1680 AM

Earlier this year, I released a new solo TTRPG: VOID 1680 AM. In it, you use a deck of cards, a six-sided die, your music collection and a voice recorder to create your own late-night radio show.

The cards help you dig deep into your collection to reconnect with music you love; they and the die also help you create anonymous Callers and the concerns, hopes and obsessions that drove them to reach out to you, a fellow lone voice in the darkness.

I also included steps for joining the library of Callers for other players to use, and even to submit your full show for broadcast on the "real" VOID 1680 AM. You can see some of those Affiliate broadcasts here. They're genuinely very cool.

You can check out the game here, and I'm proud to say VOID 1680 AM is now a Judges' Spotlight Winner in this year's ENNIES.

Okay, enough table-setting. Let's get into it.

VOID was the culmination of a lifelong obsession with commercial radio; both the technology (which feels retro despite scarcely being over a century old) and the melancholy romance of lonesome voices baring themselves to an audience they'll never know the scope of.

This, to me, is an apt metaphor for the act of making something - anything at all. Speak into the Void, the back cover copy says. You never know who is listening. So it is with putting something you love into the world.

So what inspired VOID? I cite both Anamnesis by Sam Leigh and The Wretched by Chris Bissette in the book itself, two solo RPGs whose tones and methods did much to help me find my own.

But if I'm being truthful, VOID's inspirations mostly reside outside of games. Here are a few things that haunted me profoundly enough to drive me to respond.

The first is Talk Radio, specifically Oliver Stone's adaptation of Eric Bogosian's play. The movie's tagline is "the last neighborhood in America," which to me frames radio's persistent relevance and puts social media - often called a "town square" itself - in proper context as one piece of the many ways people find connection with others, for better or worse.

Contra the VOID DJ, Barry in Talk Radio is very, very aware of how his audience receives him (hint: not well). Barry must be heard, and so must the similarly damaged souls who call in to dump the poison in their brain into his... and everyone who's listening in, besides. It's a host of people who want to connect but don't know how, spiraling in decaying orbit around each other until something awful happens.

VOID 1680 AM was originally much darker before I decided to pull back and let players pick their own tone, and Talk Radio is why.

Oxenfree is a narrative video game about a small group of teens stuck on an island haunted by hungry ghosts who can be tuned in and out of reality with handheld radios. There's more to it than that, but I'll leave you to discover what on your own - because I would recommend this game to just about anyone.

Insofar as VOID 1680 AM can have a "soundtrack," it is this one by scntfc, created using WWII-era radio equipment.

The Vast of Night is a quietly alarming lo-fi/sci-fi set in a small town in New Mexico in the late '50s. A radio DJ and a switchboard operator pick up strange signals, and then... things happen.

This specific radio station (stylized in the poster above) is what I picture for "my" VOID 1680 AM.

Then there's Stevie in The Fog, played by Adrienne Barbeau. She's the bridge between VOID 1680 AM and my earlier solo game, Lighthouse at the End of the World.

She is, yes: a late night DJ. And her radio station is, yes: in a lighthouse. She's living my dream, at least until the ghost pirates show up.

Spoilers, I guess?

But the most important influence? VOID 1680 AM cover artist Jordan Witt's fan art for the podcast King Falls AM years ago. This image took up residence in my head, so much so that I still use it as phone wallpaper despite never having listened to the show it's for.

When it came time to partner with a cover artist, who that cover artist would be was never in question. Entirely unknowingly, Jordan took all these loose ideas in my head and gave them something to cohere to. A beacon, if you will.

They spoke something into the Void, and I listened.

Fun fact: Jordan even jazzed up the original logo I made for VOID 1680 AM when that title only applied to the AM transmitter in my garage. Here's my original - you can plainly see the influence of Jordan's art on that O. It all really came full circle.

Those are the biggest ingredients in the stew that made VOID 1680 AM. It's fun to talk about stuff I like, but also I hope it might nudge someone - anyone - to get going on something they're after.

(That's you. I'm talking about you.)

A project finding its voice is a wonderful thing, but there's no real miracle to it, no outside influence that will tell you what to do. It's just things in your head magnetizing to each other until they got a shape that - with coaxing - can stand on its own.

See you on the dial.