#but it's that thing of not being white and not being like the other white girls when you grow up in the country side

[sayangrafayel]

Them reacting to a "Deez Nuts" joke. I'm so sorry.

I'M SO SORRY I JUST NEED TO DO THIS FOR MYSELF. How would they react to a deeznuts joke? Would they laugh, cringe, or shake their head?

Sylus, Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne, Caleb.

Sylus

Got deeznuts-ed by the twins before. Trust me. I know.

"Sylus! I like dragon." "Oh, do you now?" "Draggon deez nuts all over you!!!" "You too..? Did the twins teach this to you?"

Felt BETRAYED. He trusted you.

Xavier

Doesn't realize. It literally flew over his head.

"Have you heard about the news in Kenya today?" "No, tell me more." "Well, Kenya fit deez nuts in your mouth." "Can I fit what in my mouth..?"

You end up having to explain the joke to him, it became a whole lecture. He eventually found it funny and you guys try to get back at each other for the rest of the day.

Rafayel

Too late. You can't get him. Nope.

"Fishie, do you know Candece?" "Can deeznuts fit in your mouth?" "DAMN IT!"

You end up being the one who gets "deeznuts" jokes for a whole week until you literally waved a white flag asking for mercy.

Zayne

You were both sitting on the sofa doing your own thing and you suddenly remember the joke your co-worker told you.

"Dr. Zayne, do you like puddin'?" "Yes, especially-" "Puddin deez nuts in your mouth! HAHAH-" "...."

He SIGHED but deep down he found it a little amusing. He did it to Greyson the next day. Greyson was so shocked though.

Caleb

He's the one who taught you the jokes.

You tried to get back at him many times ever since you were both little, he Never fell for it. You won't catch him slipping. Ever.

"Aren't you tired, MC? You should give up." Oh but you won't. You'll get him someday. You swear on it.

[prettyfastcars]

All you need | Dark!Mob!Lewis

Summary: Lewis’ protectiveness can get out of hand sometimes… 

Themes: mob!lewis, possessive!lewis, dark!lewis, smut, explicit language, mentions of death and violence, p with v little plot

“Do you not like my gift, baby?” 

When Lewis left early this morning, he didn’t even tell you where he was going. Meetings, you figured, judging by the way he dressed in an all black suit. The kind that looked like it was made only for him. The kind that made him look majestic. And before he left, he gave you a kiss as usual and said that he’d bring you something later. 

You kept asking what, but he refused to elaborate. And here he was now, holding up the ‘gift’ so you could see. It was a necklace. A familiar one. One your friend from your running club always wore. 

“Lewis…” You blinked a few times. “You didn’t need to do that. He’s just my friend.” 

“Was.” He corrected you. Lewis shrugged, taking off layers of his clothes until he was left in his white shirt. He folded his sleeves up, exposing his tattooed forearms as he so casually said, “And yes, I know. He kept repeating the same thing while he was begging for his life.” 

“Lewis, I–,” 

He cut you off, walking up to you slowly. You took just one step back and found yourself pressed against the nearest wall. Lewis smirked. “Oh, don’t tell me you cared about him? Besides, he shouldn’t have touched what’s mine.” 

“But he’s–,” 

“Gone, now.” He cut you off again. 

Maybe it was instincts, but something told you that you should get away from him for now. But as you tried to move, he grabbed you. His reflexes were insane. 

“There now, babygirl.” He leaned closer to you, kissing your face like nothing happened, “Where do you think you’re going, hmm?” 

You gasped when he pressed his warm, muscular body against yours. “You… you’re insane sometimes.” You spoke in a shaky voice, trying so damn hard not to focus on how his warm hands touched you everywhere through your clothes. 

Lewis chuckled. “Insane? And who do you think made me like this?” His hand, given your short nightdress, slid so easily in between your legs. The metal from his rings cool against your inner thighs. “Don’t act like you don’t like me crazy. Look at how wet that got you.” 

You wanted to hide your face in embarrassment, but he wouldn’t let you. With one of his hands around your throat, making sure you kept your eyes on his, his other hand slid down your underwear, shamelessly touching you, smearing your wetness around before pulling his fingers away and shoving them into your open mouth. 

“You taste that?” He asked, cocky as always, “That’s all for me. You like me like this. You like being reminded I’m crazy for you. Don’t you, baby?” A deranged chuckle, then, “I mean, just look at how you’re dripping for me. Now I gotta take care of that, don’t I?” He whispered. 

Then his mouth was on yours. Kissing, biting, tugging on your lower lip. There was nothing gentle about him or the kiss. His stubble scratched your skin. He was heady. Then his mouth found its way down your neck, until he wrapped his mouth around your clothed nipple and sucked until you cried out. 

You couldn’t help but gasp and moan as his warm mouth wrapped around your flesh, wetting the fabric of your thin nightdress. Then he shifted to the other one, making you whine and squirm against him.

And then he was kneeling, eagerly bunching up your nightdress so he could taste what he wanted the most, that wetness in between your legs. 

You groaned, “Lewis…” You tried to protest again, but doing absolutely nothing to stop him.

Instead, you let him. You let him taste you until he had his fill. You let him take one of your legs and put it over his broad shoulder which opened you up even more to his warm, eager mouth. To his tongue which slid in and out and up and down until you were almost crying in pleasure. 

He ate you out until you were trembling, until your arousal was dripping down his chin. And only after making you come more than once did he pull away. He looked up at you with a satisfied, lust-drunk look on his handsome face. His lips and chin were all wet and shiny even in the dimmed room. He looked proud of himself. He always did whenever he made you come. 

“You always taste even better whenever you’re pretending to be angry at me, baby.” 

You were gasping for air, but Lewis was already unbuckling his trousers. And you’d be lying if you said the sight of his tattooed hands pulling his hard cock out wasn’t driving you insane with lust. 

You made a weak attempt at getting away again. But he grabbed you again. 

“Don’t be difficult.” He chided. 

“I don’t wanna look at you right now.” You argued. 

He laughed in that smug way of his and said, “Aww poor baby, you think you can get away from me? Hmm? You think someone’s coming to save you?” He smirked. “No one’s coming, baby. I’m all you’ve got. All you need. Look at me,” He grabbed you by the chin and forced you to look at his face. “Say it, tell me I’m all you need.” 

He had that look in his eyes. That determined, ambitious look. 

“You… you’re all I need.” You repeated. 

“Good girl.” 

Soon, he had you pressed up against the cold wall, your legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed you and muffled your moans while he pushed inside of you. You were moaning against his mouth as he filled you up, making you squirm and whine in his arms. 

“Shh, it’s okay, baby.” He murmured, fucking you slowly, savouring the moment while whispering his promises against your lips, “I’ve got you. You’re all mine, you hear me? Mine alone.” He spread your legs further apart, holding you up against the wall by the curve of your ass, and pushed deeper inside you. “Fuck,” He swore, “You feel that? Feel how good it is? You were made for me, babygirl. No one, just me.” 

Your mind was a foggy mess at that point so you could barely focus on anything other than how he moved in and out of your wet, tight hole. His words, his warm mouth, his scent, the feeling of his body moving in between your legs. 

“Lewis…” You whined, breathing heavily as you rested your forehead against his shoulder and holding onto him for dear life as he fucked you faster and deeper. “Slow down,” You whispered, gasping for air. 

He let out a chuckle. “Oh? Is that how it is now?,” He slowed down a little, “You’ll tell me how to fuck you? You’ll give the orders now?” He kissed the side of your face, “Think I’ll make an exception then.” He slowed down even more and asked, “Is this okay? Hmm? Or is my babygirl too sore for my cock, huh? You want me to stop?” 

“No!” You whined. 

He laughed with pure male arrogance. “Yeah that’s what I fucking thought,” He sped up again. “Come for me,” he said, grunting and moaning, feeling your walls clenching around him and gripping his cock. “Be a good girl and come.” 

“Fuck…” You came around him with a quiet cry. 

He leaned in to kiss you roughly as he came right after you. 

For a moment or two, neither of you spoke. You just held onto each other and caught your breaths. 

Then he said, “Any other friends of yours I need to know about?”

[baepsays]

Cherry liqueur ⸻ Gojo Satoru.

INSPIRED BY THIS ART, BY: @/shimisstuff

cw: blood, to be more specific-period blood, eating out (while reader is on their period), no use of specific pronouns, description of fem anatomy, fingering, m! masturbation, freak Satoru really, use of words like 'whore' 'slut' as a tease, use of terms of endearment, pussy slapping (sorry i love that shit), kind of some cum play :p, ye just nsfw stuff proceed with caution!, minors do not interact.

Gojo did not care for the color red. He really likes the color blue, as self centred as it may sound, he loves it. But even with his antipathy for the color red some of his most beloved things were colored red— like red velvet cake, strawberry jello, red macaroons always attract his attention first; something about red being a visually striking color which stimulates excitement or something — what he read. 

He particularly loved cherry pies. Beautiful crusty exterior and red gooey, sticky, bitter-sweet cherries inside. Anyone would think it is probably because he might like cherries. Which is not half wrong, he found his affinity for cherry desserts— specifically cherry pie and cherry liqueur cake, because his favorite red dessert is not always available at his disposal. And to frankly explain what is it? Your cunt, specifically when you're on your period. 

How did he find this— let's say unusual — affinity? It was very sudden, he was enjoying your saccharin taste on his tongue, nothing out of the ordinary. He truly enjoyed eating you out, savouring your taste way more than any average person may enjoy. He is the true definition of munch, this man could eat you, lick you, just smother his face in between your thighs for hours. That specific day you were really tired and he oh so kindly offered to perform oral on you to put you to sleep. He had cleaned you up in the bath, dressed you in your pajamas, laid you down on his plush bed, and ate you out like a starved man— a few mins in he suddenly tasted a new flavor spreading through his mouth. It was an uncannily identical flavor of cherry liqueur, a little less sweet but exactly bittersweet, slightly tart, overall very cherry.

You were too tired to even be conscious throughout the entire thing. You had passed out and it was only when he came up to catch a breath he realized that you started your period. Surprisingly it didn't deter him. He did go back in and finish you then cleaned you up once again, put on a pad in your underwear, cleaned up the sheets and himself. He particularly liked the look of himself covered in your blood reflecting back into his eyes. And the taste he could not forget or recreate. 

Since then he went on to practically begging you to let him taste you when you're bleeding. He seriously jumped up to the bed the day after that happened and went “please let me eat you out again.” 

And honestly you wouldn't say no, how can you ever deny your poor toru, then you realize the situation. That you're on your period and you had your period yesterday, this request of his is basically because he ate you out with arousal, blood and all things nasty. So it took him some serious convincing, begging, and a really shitty day where your cramps were hurting so bad that even the meds didn't help— to let him eat you out again blood and all. So he eagerly offered a massage, then some whispering in your ears about how good it'll feel and how it'll help with the pain. Long story short you gave in. And he became an obsessed vampire.

This brings us here, where there is a big thick towel under you, and you are on his bed. Naked, back arched, thighs engulfing his entire head, his white hair pushed back with his black headband. One time he was eating you out in similar circumstances with his hair down and he looked like a white cat who attacked a jar of jam. 

One of your hands clawed down on his shoulder, the other gripping the edge of the pillow under your head— trying to hold onto any semblance of sanity. 

“Ugh sweets. So sweet.” He rumbles in between your thighs right on your pussy. 

You were armed wordless, rid off of anything more than moans, grunt, sighs and whimpers. It did help that he pried your thighs off his head, with much reluctance—you best believe he would not die anywhere rather than right between your legs, breathless — he sits up, his sounds breathing heavy to even your senseless ears. He puts one of your ankles up on his shoulders, the other leg he hikes up to wrap around his waist. With a smear of red all across his cheeks, chin, and lip, he starts licking a stripe up from your ankle towards your thighs.

“Such a messy fucking whore for your toru right angel?” He says as he reaches your thighs and bites down lightly. 

“No answer? Huh. Have I slutted you out too hard? Hmm?” He lets out a slight chuckle, then continues to lick your inner thighs clean. He gathers all the blood and cum glistening around there, neat and blank to paint all over again. 

“P-please toru.” 

“Please what sweets?” He heaves out, clearly he is also having a hard time over here. But for the sake of prolonging your empty hazed up state of mind, asking and begging him to let you find your climax— that's how he found his own pleasure. 

“Need more.” you push yourself up on your forearms to look back at him, staring up at you with both your legs now hanging from his shoulder, eyes glowing in the abyss between your thighs.

“More? I give you my all and you still want more? My little insatiable whore.” His hand comes down to slap your clit, he gives it a second and puts down two more slaps right in your entrance. And you give out a loud screeching noise and fall back down on the bed. Gripping on his hair, headband, his hand which just slapped your pussy—now rubbing and tugging on your clit. 

“Honestly sweets say the word and I'll put the world at your feet.” He frees his hand from your grip, landing another little slap on your clit then slowly sliding a finger inside you. All you can do is frail around and jerk from the shivers running down your body. His other hand, pulls his cick out of his boxers, then goes to gather some blood and cum dripping down your entrance and aids it as lube to jerk off himself. 

“MORE SATORU!” 

“More? Aw but I am giving you my all sweetheart, you want more? More of me? My fingers? Anything? Tell me. Say it. Ask me, beg me. Look me in the eyes and command me.” And you do, somehow bring yourself to look at him. With a huge adorning his face, his fangs on display, ready to suck up every drop of blood you bless him with.

“Put another finger in toru. Please make me come.” 

“As you wish and more, angel.” And his grin widens as he pushes, another finger in. He really does give you what you wish and more — because he puts another finger in you, then turns all three of them up to find your spongy walls with the rough pads of his finger. He speeds up the other hand running up and down on his cock as he find the said sweet spot. He moves both his hands at a matched speed, imaging your walls gripping on his dick while he thrusts in and out of you with the said dick, instead of his fingers. 

You don't have much in you, words or patience to hold back and time your climax with his. “ I am gonna cum toru, I am gonna- please. Please. Oh my goodness, please Satoru.” you cry out, begging him to let you cum.

“Do it sweets. Come all over my- Ha. Fingers. Come on. Be my good little whore. Won't you sweetheart?” He talks you into your climax and you come undone on his fingers, gripping down on all three of his fingers, but his movements do not stop. The squelching noise mixed with your moans and his pants are obscene. Maybe not as obscene as your cum mixed up with your blood. 

He fingers you through it all, until you finish and even when you're getting aftershocks— he does flows down and focuses more on pressing down on your walls than ramming through you. Once you stabilize a little he pulls his fingers out, which elicits a whimper out of you. 

He sits up again, he changes the hand gripping his cock. He positions his cock on your cunt, and proceeds to jerk himself harder, chasing his own climax, with the hand he used to just finger you. Your cum and blood— sticky and coated all over his cock. 

You lean back up to grip onto his neck, your foreheads touching, panting and whimpering into each other's mouth—tongues twirling around each other, you taste your cum and blood on him. Metallic and nasty, but you'd never hold back from giving him everything, even if it means kissing in such a feral state. 

You lick the blood clean from the corner of his mouth, and that does it for him. He shoots ropes and ropes of cum all over your cunt. On your entrance, on your stomach, on your inner thighs— mixing up with the previously mixed in cum and blood. And he moans into your mouth throughout it all. Eyes shut, orbs of glowing blue hidden behind all that red smeared across his face.

“You are just the best dessert ever.” he says upon calming down a little and looking right into your eyes, then looking down at the mess between you two.

“Should I get another towel? Come on my dick next.” Nevermind. Maybe you two are capable of much more obscene activities. 

Safe to say, maybe Satoru is not so apathetic towards the color red. Especially when it tastes so sweet to him. 

a/n: dividers by @/omi-resources & @/sister-lucifer. wasn't gonna write then aashi (@fushitoru) beloved sent that ask and how can i ever deny her <3 AND THANK YOU SM TO SHIMI FOR LETTING ME USE THE ART!!! please check out more of her art! it is so beautiful!!

to access more of my works-click here.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Hii 👋 i really love your works i would eat it if i can, especially freelance inventor, will you ever countinue writing it? (Sorry if it sound rude, English is not my first language)

"So what's the deal with them?" Steph dares to ask when Bruce and Mr. Fenton finish passing out the souvenirs the inventor brought back. She wasn't sure why she was included in the gift giving, as she never even met the man before, but she now had a bowl from Irland tucked in her purse.

She's heard about Mr. Fenton through Tim and a bit from Jason. Both boys practically worshiped the ground the man stepped on. She understood that, on some level, they owed him their lives.

Jason, after being rescued from the Joker and Tim after Mr.Fenton found him on the rooftops all those years ago. She won't lie. How they spoke about Mr.Fenton painted a completely different image in her mind.

She expected someone regal, with a cold, calculating glance, who could figure out what she was expecting with a mere glance. Someone that she wouldn't be surprised if he was found tucked away in a pure white lab, working with glowing chemicals. She knows that they never claim Mr.Fenton was terrifying, but she had personally witnessed Dick threaten to tell Bruce to the man.

If he could make Batman cower by his mere mention, Steph had been expecting someone closer to what an evil version of Alfred would be.

Instead, she got a man in faded jeans, beat-up boots, and gentleness that hurt her teeth with how sweetly he smiled. If Bruce was a Bat, then Mr.Fenton could be a flower.

Gentle. Pretty. Unassuming.

Steph had logically known Mr. Fenton was a civilian. But she thought that he would be a scary one, at the least. Maybe someone in the justice system, a personal fighter like a boxer or hell, someone good with firearms.

"Hmm?" Damian glances up from his painting. Steph noticed that he has been doing a lot lately. Leaving his room to paint around the manor. She hasn't known the boy for long.

Steph had only recently forgiven Bruce for the whole Robin stunt he pulled (making her think she was his partner only to be used as bait for Tim, burned), and she wasn't around when Bruce's bio kid was found. Based on the stories Tim, Jason, and Dick shared, though, she thought he was a little more bloodthirsty.

He is more prone to violence after his upbringing, but he seemed to be shimmering down the last few weeks. Damian had apparently been given a talking to by Mr.Fenton, who took him out of the manor into the city for some "undercover training."

Steph hadn't been in Gotham then. She was busy helping a few teen titans with a mission that had her traveling to the other side of the world. But apparently, whatever harsh training Mr.Fenton had forced Damian to undergo had brought back peace to Wayne Manor.

Or as close as it could be.

He still referred to himself as the actual blood son.

"Bruce and Mr. Fenton," she repeated, nodding to where the pair could be seen conversing in the hallway. However, it looked more like Mr.Fenton was the only one talking. Bruce was too busy staring at him like he was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. "They seem really close, but in a weird way."

Damain's intense green eyes snap at her. She raises a brow, unwilling to let the brat see he made her flinch. "Do you have a problem with Father getting close to another man?"

It takes her a few seconds to understand why he sounds so guarded before she gasps. "It's not the gay thing! I don't care if their gay!"

"I should hope not. You come into our home and eat our food, Brown." The boy clicks his tongue distastefully. Steph has never seen someone look down their nose at someone two heads taller than them, but Damian proved it could happen. "I would not allow for homophobia to enter these halls. It is not within the rules of social justice."

"Social justice?" She repeats a little surprise that Damian was speaking to her without an insult so far. The only time the brat had bothered to talk to anyone besides Bruce had been to insult them. At least in the two months, she had seen him wander after her Teen Titians mission.

"Danny has pointed out that Father's civilian reputation is tied heavily with social justice. It would not due for his heir to cause trouble in his affairs." Damian places his paintbrush back on his canvas, sneaking glances at the window.

Curious, Steph creeps closer to take a peak and finds herself memorized by the water painting he is working on. It's Bruce and Mr.Fenton. In the painting, Bruce is staring lovingly at Mr.Fenton, who seems to be in the middle of laughing. Though neither have arms- Damian is working on those- it doesn't detract from their loving expressions.

"If it is not due to their gender, what do you find weird about Father and Danny?"

Steph considers the question before slowly getting closer, wanting to oversee the young boy splash some white into Mr.Fenton's eyes, making them appear glowing. "It's just.....weird how Bruce likes someone so normal. No training. No big fancy money. No ties to the capes. Just a man who's really good at science."

Damain shoots her a complicated glance over his shoulders before he slowly replies. "Yes. An average Joe, as you Americans would say. That is Danny."

"Right? Isn't it weird? And besides the fact Bruce is so obvious with his crush, Mr. Feton has no idea. But he can pull apart a toaster in ten minutes to curl Babs hair for her dance? Don't you think it's odd?"

Damian hums. "A true master does not need to show who they are until the blade is at their opponent's neck. But I will admit that Danny's appearance can be rather deceiving."

"Damian.....do you know something?"

The boy's face turned more complicated before returning his attention to his painting. He taps his paintbrush against his palate before he mutters. "I knew only Danny did not treat me like a rabid animal. He took me to the zoo. I haven't been outside the manor since his last visit and grew wary of these walls."

His words hit Steph like a brick. Her first instinct is to explain why it was essential to keep him here, but then she thinks more about it, and her teeth slam shut.

Crude, has she been acting like Bruce? Had she really allowed him to convince her that a child should be locked up like it was nothing? Then again, Damian isn't a prisoner here.

Even if he was, she helped break him out.

"Say, kid, you want to come with Tim and me to the mall this afternoon? I think they have an art store."

Damian twists around to stare in utter shock. For all his training, he really is just a kid because Steph can see the genuine yearning in his eyes as he tries to casually cover up his reaction with a regal shoulder shrug. "I suppose I will have time for more undercover training."

Strange, Steph thinks while texting Tim about Damian joining them. Mr. Fenton hasn't even spoken to me that long, and he already changed how I viewed Damian. Is this why Bruce is into a civilian?

[marikorawralton]

This is only tangentially related, but

This art piece showed up in a Mexican newspaper as a critique of Trump's new deportation policies.

It was reportedly drawn by a Mexican artist (Unsure about this).

It's an art piece showing a meal being prepared for Trump burning as the Mexican / Latino chefs are being detained by ICE.

Literally every reply was some dumbass white liberal calling this the most racist thing ever.

I, as a Latino, know that Latinos are actually quite proud of working labor. It's a cultural thing, as Latinos have a history of not liking people who think of themselves as above labor. It's the reason they don't like patronizing "respectful" language like Latinx.

Dumb ass white liberals only know Latinos through negative stereotypes, so they immediately take the most hostile and negative reading of the situation.

I'm not disabled myself. Not yet, probably, as all of us will eventually falter. Some sooner than others. It's scary. I won't pretend to understand what y'all go through.

I understand this, though.

A man in a wheelchair rolls into a liberal bar. He starts to order a drink, but another customer grabs the handles of his wheelchair, turns him around, and gives him a hard push in the other direction to get him out of the way and order a drink themselves.

The man in the wheelchair turns around and yells “Hey, what’s wrong with you?! Are you crazy?!”

The man in the wheelchair is asked to leave. Ableism isn’t tolerated here.

[missarchive]

american jesus⁴ ☆

spencer reid

part one part two part three part four

summary; In the final chapter, the dynamic between Spencer and the reader has evolved into something quieter, less fraught with complications. There’s a sense of ease in their connection now, a comfort in simply being in each other’s presence. While the future remains uncertain, they both seem to find a certain peace in the current moment, no longer overanalysing what comes next. The chapter closes on an unspoken understanding, leaving the path forward open, undefined, but somehow, still shared.

cw; +18 minors dni, SMUTTTT, sugar baby/daddy dynamics, inexperienced reader, pleasure dom spencer, fingering, dirty talk, munch!spencer, unprotected p in v, multiple orgasms, reader calls spencer "sir", idk guys this one's super fucking filthy, spencer cums inside, angst, fluff, praise, cum eating/swapping, spencer grovels for forgiveness, slight love-bombing, spit swallowing, slight overstimulation, spencer's a total perv, lmk if i've missed anything <3

an; the final part!!! thank you for sticking with me through this, this is the longest fic i've written to date at about 12k! P.s. this is written with jesus reid in mind <3 xoxo

It’s been weeks since that argument, yet the memory of Spencer’s words still lingers like a wound you can’t help but poke. Immature. Reckless. You’ve played them over and over in your head, dissecting the way his voice cracked on the harsher syllables, the fear and frustration behind his outburst.

But none of that matters now. He made it clear where he stands…or doesn’t. And you’ve resolved to move on, even if it means pretending your chest doesn’t ache every time you see him.

He walks in, hair slightly disheveled, a stack of papers clutched to his chest. His fingers twitch against the edges, knuckles white. His eyes skim the room, carefully avoiding yours, but you still feel the weight of his presence. He’s ignoring you, and it shouldn’t sting as much as it does.

“As we discussed last time, the concept of memory consolidation…”

His voice, usually a source of comfort, now feels like a barrier. You watch him intently, your hand resting lightly on your notebook, waiting for the moment when you can contribute something meaningful to the discussion.

When the opportunity arises, you raise your hand, heart thudding in your chest. His eyes flicker in your direction for a split second before skimming past you. He calls on someone else.

You blink, lowering your hand slowly. A flush of embarrassment creeps up your neck, and you fight to keep your face neutral. Maybe he didn’t see you.

But Spencer did see you.

In fact, he saw you the moment you walked into the room, your head held high even though he knows—God, he knows how much he must’ve hurt you. Every second he spends pretending you don’t exist is another stab to his chest, another reminder of how he pushed you away with words too sharp to take back.

Spencer knows he should’ve handled things differently. He shouldn’t have yelled. He shouldn’t have called you immature, reckless, or whatever else his panicked mind had thrown out in an effort to create distance. But the fear—the crushing fear—of losing everything, of losing you, had twisted into something ugly and defensive.

Ignoring you feels like punishment, like standing in the wreckage of something he helped destroy. And yet, he convinces himself it’s the right thing to do. For his job. For your reputation. For the tiny shred of professionalism he has left.

He hears your voice rise again, another eager attempt to participate, and for a moment, his resolve cracks. His gaze lifts, just for a second, but he forces it back down, pretending to sift through his notes. He picks someone else, his voice coming out tighter than before. He can’t let himself soften. Not now.

By the end of the lecture, you feel like you’re being crushed under the weight of his indifference.

As the other students begin to pack up, you linger in your seat, pretending to adjust your notes. Spencer busies himself at the podium, organising his materials with too much precision. Every fiber of him wants to speak to you, to say something, but he remains silent.

When you finally leave, without so much as a glance in his direction, his shoulders sag. The door clicks shut behind you, and he exhales shakily, gripping the edge of the podium to steady himself.

He knows he messed up.

And he’s starting to realize that letting you go was the biggest mistake of all.

Spencer stares at the empty lecture hall long after you’ve left, his fingers absently tracing the worn edge of his notes. The silence around him is deafening, amplifying the thoughts that have been circling his mind since the moment he pushed you away.

He shouldn’t have said those things.

The memory of your expression—hurt, betrayed, yet still defiant plays on a loop in his head. He’s analyzed it a thousand times, picking apart the exact moment he saw the light in your eyes dim. It was right after he called you immature, right after his voice wavered with something dangerously close to regret, but he’d pressed on anyway, too caught up in his fear to stop himself.

He thought cutting you off would make things easier. That ignoring you would put some much-needed distance between you both. But every time he sees you in class, looking straight at him with that quiet determination, he feels like the world is shifting beneath his feet.

Tonight, he doesn’t go home right away. Instead, he finds himself at the local bookstore, pacing the aisles aimlessly, running his hands over book spines as if the answers might be hidden somewhere in their pages. His thoughts are a mess, apologies, regrets, the gnawing ache of missing you, all tangled together in a knot he doesn’t know how to undo.

Finally, after what feels like hours, he stops in front of a small display of classic literature. A collection of short stories catches his eye, your favorite author. He remembers how passionately you spoke about them, how you’d once challenged him to find deeper meaning in the prose when he’d claimed it was too sentimental.

Before he can second-guess himself, he buys the book.

The next morning, he’s in the lecture hall early, long before anyone else arrives. His hands tremble slightly as he pulls the book from his bag and places it carefully on your desk, tucking a small note inside the front cover:

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. I miss talking to you.

He hesitates for a long moment, staring down at the message, before quickly retreating to his usual spot at the podium. His heart hammers in his chest as the first students trickle in, and when you finally walk through the door, he forces himself to look away.

You pause at your seat, your brow furrowing at the book resting neatly on your desk. Your fingers brush over the cover, and for a split second, Spencer allows himself to glance up, searching your face for any reaction. But you don’t look at him. Instead, you slide the book into your bag without a word and take your seat as if nothing happened.

Spencer swallows hard, disappointment settling in his chest. He knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

But he’s not giving up.

Not yet.

You haven’t acknowledged the gesture—not in class, not after, not in the fleeting moments when your eyes almost meet across the room. You carry the book with you now, tucked safely in your bag, but you haven’t said a word about it. Not even a glance in his direction.

And it’s driving him insane.

Spencer isn’t used to feeling this way, this gnawing guilt, this helplessness. He’s spent his life solving complex puzzles, breaking down human behavior into patterns and probabilities. But you? You’ve always been the one thing he couldn’t quite calculate.

So, he tries again.

The next morning, when you walk into class, there’s something small and unassuming on your desk, a cassette tape, carefully placed where only you would notice.

Your fingers hover over it for a moment before you pick it up, inspecting the label scrawled in Spencer’s familiar handwriting:

Songs that remind me of you.

You stare at it, expression unreadable. For a moment, Spencer wonders if you’ll just leave it there, push it aside like it means nothing. But then you slip it into your bag without a word, and his chest tightens with something halfway between relief and frustration.

Still, you don’t speak to him.

But that doesn’t stop him.

A few days later, there’s a cup of your favorite coffee sitting on your desk before you even arrive, the heat still lingering in the cup. The note attached is short, almost tentative:

Thought you might need this.

You hesitate again, fingers tracing the rim of the cup as you glance around the room, like you’re trying to catch him in the act. But Spencer is already at the podium, pretending to review his lecture notes, though his ears burn with anticipation.

You take a sip.

And though you don’t say anything, Spencer catches the tiniest flicker of something soft in your expression before you steel yourself again.

It’s not much. But it’s enough to make him keep trying.

The next week, small gifts keep appearing—your favorite pen when yours mysteriously runs out of ink, a folded paper crane sitting in the middle of your notebook, even a neatly written study guide with helpful annotations in the margins.

Each time, you pretend not to notice. Each time, Spencer wonders if you’ll ever forgive him.

He knows he messed up. He knows words alone won’t fix this. But he hopes, God, he hopes, that maybe persistence will.

At first, you think the book was a fluke.

Maybe he left it there by accident, a leftover impulse from the time when things between you were different—when he would listen to you ramble about your favorite stories and pretend not to be impressed by how much you cared.

But then the cassette tape appeared.

You remember sitting in class, holding it in your hands, staring at the neat, careful handwriting on the label: Songs that remind me of you. A lump had formed in your throat, and for a second, just a second, you thought about confronting him. Asking him what exactly he thought he was doing, why he felt the need to dangle these little reminders of what you used to be in front of you.

But you didn’t. Instead, you shoved the tape into your bag, ignoring the way your hands shook slightly.

Then came the coffee. The stupid cup of coffee sitting on your desk like it belonged there, warm and familiar and him. You almost didn’t drink it out of sheer stubbornness, but the note: Thought you might need this, sat there staring at you, and somehow, it felt worse to let it go to waste.

So you took a sip.

And the worst part? It tasted exactly the way you liked it. Because of course he remembered.

The next time it was your favorite pen, smooth and easy in your grip just like the one you always used—until yours ran out of ink at the worst possible moment. You’d stared at it for too long before finally picking it up and using it, your chest tight with something you couldn’t quite name.

And now, as you sit in class, your fingers trace over the paper crane he left on your desk this morning. It’s small and delicate, made with precision that you know took time, and something about that unsettles you more than you’d like to admit.

He’s trying.

And you hate that it’s working.

You keep telling yourself that you should stay mad. That you should hold onto the anger from that night—the words he flung at you like knives, the way he made you feel so small. You remind yourself of the humiliation, of the ache that settled deep in your chest when he turned away and left you standing there alone.

But still… he remembers. The coffee, the songs, the little things that no one else would ever notice. And that’s what makes it harder to push him away completely.

You glance toward the front of the room, where Spencer is hunched over his notes, pretending to be absorbed in them. But you know better. The tension in his shoulders, the way he hasn’t called on you in weeks, the flickers of his gaze when he thinks you’re not looking—it’s all there, plain as day.

He’s waiting.

And you hate that a tiny part of you is waiting, too.

The gifts keep coming.

At first, you think they’ll stop after a few days, that he’ll get tired of the silent treatment you’ve been giving him. But Spencer Reid is nothing if not persistent.

Today, it’s a folded piece of paper tucked inside your notebook, carefully slipped in sometime before you arrived. Your chest tightens the moment you see it, and despite your better judgment, you unfold it with a quiet curiosity.

It’s a handwritten list.

Books you might like.

Your eyes skim the titles, some you’ve mentioned in passing, others completely new but eerily fitting your taste. You swallow hard, your fingertips lingering over his handwriting, neat and deliberate, as if he put real thought into each selection. Because he did.

You hate how well he knows you.

Sliding the paper into your bag, you pretend not to notice the way Spencer's shoulders shift slightly at the podium, like he’s waiting for some sign that you’ve seen it. But you don’t give him the satisfaction. Not yet.

You should be angry. You are angry. But underneath it, something else festers—something warm and unsteady that you’re not ready to face.

The next morning, there’s something different waiting on your desk. A small, almost inconspicuous flower, nestled between the pages of your textbook. Pressed and delicate, like it’s been saved for a long time.

You pause, staring at it longer than you should, before carefully closing the book around it and moving on as if nothing happened. But your heart betrays you, thudding hard against your ribs as you struggle to keep your expression neutral.

Spencer, standing at the front of the room, doesn’t look at you once. But you can feel the weight of his presence like gravity pulling at you.

This silent game you’re playing, it’s exhausting.

He’s trying.

And it’s getting harder to ignore.

By the end of class, you find yourself lingering, watching him from the corner of your eye as he pretends to organise his papers. Your fingers brush the edge of the book in your bag, where the flower is safely tucked away, and for a brief moment, you consider saying something—anything.

But then you remember how easily he walked away last time.

So instead, you leave without a word, ignoring the way your heart feels just a little heavier with every step you take.

The gifts stop.

You don’t notice it right away. It’s only after a few days of arriving to an empty desk, no thoughtful notes, no carefully placed trinkets, that it finally sinks in. At first, you feel relieved. No more gentle reminders of what you lost. No more soft apologies tucked between pages and beneath coffee cups.

But then why does it feel so… disappointing?

You shake the thought away as you sit through another lecture, taking notes with the pen he gave you. The small reminders are still there, whether you like it or not.

And that’s when he changes his strategy.

“Y/N.”

His voice stops you cold, just as you’re packing up your things. It’s the first time he’s said your name in weeks, and it sounds almost foreign on his lips, careful and unsure.

You look up slowly, wary, your heart hammering in your chest. “Yes, Dr. Reid?”

His mouth presses into a thin line, and for a second, you swear he looks almost hurt. His fingers fidget with the strap of his bag, and there’s something in his eyes, something regretful, something desperate.

“I—” He hesitates, glancing around at the few lingering students still shuffling out of the room. “Can I talk to you?”

You stiffen, forcing yourself to stay neutral. “About?”

His throat bobs as he swallows, and you can practically feel the weight of all the unsaid things hanging between you. “About… the class,” he says finally, but the hesitation in his voice betrays him. “Your last paper. I had some thoughts.”

You’re not sure what you were expecting, but it wasn’t that. And for a moment, you almost believe him—almost fall back into that easy rhythm of long discussions and shared ideas. But you catch yourself, steeling your expression.

“I think I’m managing fine,” you say, slipping your bag onto your shoulder. “Thanks, though.”

You turn to leave, but he steps closer, too close, and you have to fight the urge to back away.

“Y/N, please.”

The crack in his voice is almost enough to make you stop. Almost.

But instead, you keep walking, ignoring the way his presence lingers behind you like a shadow.

The next lecture, it happens again.

And the one after that.

Every time, he waits. Every time, he calls your name, softer, more insistent. He tries to start conversations, little ones, harmless ones, asking about assignments, books, anything to get you to talk to him. And every time, you walk away, pretending you don’t notice the way his voice trembles just slightly when you turn your back on him.

But you notice.

It’s almost routine now.

Class ends, you gather your things, and before you can make it to the door, Spencer is there—waiting, watching, always just close enough that you can’t ignore him entirely.

“Y/N, wait—”

You don’t. You keep walking, pretending not to hear the quiet desperation in his voice. But he’s not deterred.

The next class, he tries again.

“I wanted to talk to you about—”

“I have to go.”

And again.

“I—uh, I found this article I thought you might find interesting—”

“I’m busy.”

Each time, his voice gets a little softer, his eyes a little more tired. But he doesn’t stop. If anything, he’s getting bolder.

One afternoon, you’re halfway out the door when he catches up to you, falling into step beside you like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“You know,” he says, clearing his throat awkwardly, “there was this study done on avoidance behaviour. It found that people who actively avoid situations tend to experience heightened stress and—”

“Seriously, Spencer?” you snap, stopping in your tracks. You whip around to face him, and for a second, he looks almost startled to hear you say his name. His first name.

His mouth opens, then closes again, as if he doesn’t know what to do now that he has your attention. His fingers fidget nervously with the strap of his bag, and his eyes—those ridiculous, stupidly expressive eyes—are wide and earnest.

“I just…” He trails off, running a hand through his hair. “I miss talking to you.”

You inhale sharply, that familiar ache creeping into your chest. “You don’t get to do this, Spencer.” Your voice is quieter now, but firm. “You don’t get to push me away and then decide you want me back when it’s convenient.”

His face falls, and for a moment, you almost regret saying it. But then he nods slowly, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“I know,” he murmurs. “I just… I don’t know how to fix it.”

You hold his gaze for a beat too long before shaking your head and walking away.

But this time, it doesn’t feel like a victory.

You start seeing him everywhere.

At first, you think it’s just bad luck—running into him outside the library, at the campus coffee shop, even near the quiet corner of the park where you like to study. But after the third time in one week, it’s obvious that it’s not a coincidence.

He’s trying. Again.

You spot him before he sees you this time, sitting on a bench near your usual spot, a book in his hands but his gaze flickering up every few seconds, like he’s waiting, hoping you’ll notice him.

You consider turning around, walking the other way, but something inside you tightens at the thought. You’re tired of running. Tired of pretending his presence doesn’t affect you.

So, you sit. Not next to him, but close enough that he knows you’ve seen him. Close enough that you can feel the tension humming between you, thick and heavy.

A few minutes pass before he speaks. “I didn’t know you liked this place.”

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye. “I doubt that.”

His lips twitch, the ghost of a smile, but there’s something almost sad in it. “Okay,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “I might have… remembered you mentioning it once.”

You exhale, shaking your head. “Spencer—”

“I know,” he interrupts, voice quiet but insistent. “I know I shouldn’t be here. I just—” He hesitates, fingers gripping the edges of his book like it’s the only thing grounding him. “I wanted to see you.”

There’s something in the way he says it that makes your heart stutter. Like it’s the simplest truth in the world.

You look down at your notebook, trying to ignore the warmth creeping into your chest. “You can’t keep doing this.”

“I know,” he says again, softer this time. “But I’m going to anyway.”

You don’t know whether to be annoyed or touched.

After a moment, you sigh, flipping open your notes and pointedly ignoring him. But you don’t get up to leave.

And Spencer, for once, seems content just sitting there. Close enough, but not too close.

The days that follow feel like a delicate balance, each encounter with Spencer nudging at the edges of your resolve. At first, you tell yourself it’s nothing, he’s persistent, sure, but that doesn’t mean he’s breaking through. You’re still in control. You remind yourself of all the reasons you keep him at arm’s length, the walls you’ve built around yourself, stronger than ever after everything.

But as the days stretch on, those walls start to feel more fragile.

You see him again, this time outside a classroom. He’s standing near the door, arms crossed, looking uncharacteristically uncertain as he scans the crowd for you. When his eyes find yours, it’s like he’s finally breathing. Like he’s been holding his breath this whole time.

“Hi,” he says, voice slightly hesitant, but his smile, that familiar, soft smile, makes your chest tighten. “I—uh—I’ve been meaning to ask, if you’re not too busy... Would you like to grab coffee after class?”

You stop yourself from rolling your eyes. He’s persistent, you can’t deny that. But there’s a sincerity in his eyes that makes you hesitate.

“I don’t know, Spencer,” you reply, voice a little firmer than you intend. “You don’t have to keep trying.”

His smile falters, but he doesn’t retreat. Instead, he steps forward, just a little, and you notice how his fingers flex against the strap of his bag, the quiet anxiety there. It makes your heart twist, but you push it away.

“I know. But I want to,” he says simply, with that same quiet intensity. “I miss talking to you. It doesn’t feel right not... having you around.”

Something in his words catches you off guard. You feel a flicker of something inside you—something you’ve been trying to ignore for too long. His presence has become like a ghost in the back of your mind, never quite leaving, always lurking. And for the first time in what feels like ages, you wonder if maybe it’s not such a bad thing.

You glance at him, letting your guard down just a little, before you let out a sigh.

“Alright,” you say, almost reluctantly, “But just coffee. No more… no more trying, okay?”

He looks at you like you’ve given him the world, and something inside you cracks just a little bit more. “Okay. Just coffee.”

It’s a small step. But it’s a step forward. And somehow, that feels like the beginning of something you’ve been trying so hard to avoid.

Spencer’s already sitting at a table in the corner, a book in front of him, but the second the door opens, his gaze snaps to you. He doesn’t even look surprised—just relieved.

“Hey,” he says, standing up quickly, his voice just shy of uncertain, but his smile genuine. “I wasn’t sure if you’d make it.”

You glance around, taking in the space, trying to ignore the way your heart starts to race just seeing him there. “This place is... different.”

Spencer gives a small shrug, eyes flicking to the side. “I thought it might be nicer—less busy. You know, somewhere we can actually talk without having to yell over the noise.”

You stare at him for a beat, almost surprised by how considerate he sounds. “I didn’t think you’d know the first thing about quiet spots.”

His lips curl into a sheepish grin. “I guess I’m full of surprises,” he says, his tone light but a bit uncertain.

You can’t help but chuckle, feeling the tension between you start to ease. “Okay, I’ll admit, it’s nice.”

Spencer looks relieved, but his gaze softens a little. “I’m glad you think so. I wanted this to be… better. For us.”

The words hit you harder than you expect. For a second, the air feels heavier. He’s not just here because he wants something from you. He’s here because he wants to be with you, in a way you hadn’t allowed yourself to consider before.

He doesn’t break eye contact as he leans back in his chair, fingers drumming lightly on the table. “I know I’ve probably been too pushy lately. I get it. But I just… I miss you. And I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just want to be here. If you’ll let me.”

You blink, caught off guard by the honesty in his words. You feel a twinge in your chest, something you haven’t let yourself feel in a long time. “Spencer…”

“I know,” he interrupts, voice softer now. “I know. I’ve been trying to figure it out, how to give you space. But I don’t want to let go either. I want to be around. Even if it’s just this—just coffee and talking. No more... no more rushing things.”

You take a breath, your gaze drifting to the table. His words are simple, but there’s something in them that makes it hard to push him away.

“I’m not saying I’m ready for everything to just… go back to normal,” you admit, your voice quieter. “But I don’t want to keep avoiding this, either.”

Spencer’s eyes brighten at that, and he leans forward just slightly, his gaze intense but warm. “No pressure. I’m not going anywhere.”

You can’t help but nod, the corners of your mouth turning up a little. “Okay. Just coffee, for now.”

His smile is soft and real, like it’s been a while since he’s had a reason to show it. And in that moment, you think maybe—just maybe—you’re beginning to let him in.

You tell yourself it’s still nothing. Just coffee. Just familiar habits that are hard to break. But when you find yourself walking into that same quiet café again—when your eyes immediately search for him—you know you’re lying.

Spencer’s already there, his usual spot by the window, fingers wrapped around a cup that’s probably gone cold by now. He’s staring out at the street, lost in thought, and for a brief moment, you consider walking past, pretending you didn’t see him. But then, as if sensing you, his head turns, and his eyes meet yours.

This time, there’s no nervous startle. Just a slow, tentative smile.

You sigh, stepping forward before you can talk yourself out of it. He stands when you reach the table—always the gentleman—and you wave a hand at him, rolling your eyes. “You don’t have to do that, you know.”

“I know,” he says easily, but the way his fingers twitch at his sides tells you he’s still figuring out how to act around you.

You sit, and before you can even glance at the menu, there’s already a cup in front of you. Your usual, just like last time. You arch an eyebrow at him, but he only shrugs, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Thought I’d save you the trouble.”

You could argue—tell him not to make assumptions—but the warmth of the cup in your hands feels... nice. Familiar. So instead, you take a sip and let the silence stretch between you.

Spencer fidgets with his sleeve, then glances up through his lashes. “How’s your week been?”

It’s such a simple question, but for some reason, it catches you off guard. You hesitate before answering, “Fine. Busy.”

He nods like he’s cataloging the information, filing it away for later. “I, um... I was reading something that reminded me of you.” He reaches into his bag and pulls out a book, sliding it across the table. “I thought you might like it.”

You stare at the book, your fingers hovering over the worn cover. It’s thoughtful, maybe too thoughtful, and for a second, you feel the familiar urge to pull away, to remind him of the distance you put between you.

“Spencer...”

“I know,” he says quickly, leaning back. “No expectations. Just... I saw it and thought of you. That’s all.”

You hate how easily he reads you, how effortlessly he disarms the excuses you’ve been holding onto. With a quiet sigh, you pick up the book, flipping through the pages absentmindedly.

“Thanks,” you murmur, and when you glance up, his eyes are soft, hopeful but not pushing.

For the rest of the coffee, you let the conversation flow in slow, careful steps—nothing too personal, nothing too deep. But the walls you’ve built aren’t as solid as they used to be.

And when you leave, the book is still in your hands.

It starts creeping in when you least expect it.

Little things—quiet moments that used to be yours alone—are suddenly filled with the weight of his absence. The inside jokes that no one else would understand, the random facts he’d blurt out when he got nervous, the way he’d always—always—remember the smallest things about you.

You catch yourself thinking about him more than you’d like to admit. Wondering what book he’s reading now, if he’s still showing up at that café, if he’s sitting by the window hoping you’ll walk through the door again. And it’s infuriating—how much space he takes up in your head despite all your efforts to keep him out.

But it’s not just in your head anymore. It’s in your chest, a dull ache that lingers whenever you pass by the places you used to see him. And slowly, inevitably, your resolve starts to slip.

The first time you slip, it’s barely anything. Just a text.

Did you ever finish that book you were telling me about?

You stare at the message for longer than you should before hitting send. And when the reply comes almost instantly—Yeah. It made me think of you.—you realise just how much you’ve missed the way he always ties things back to you, like you’re still a constant in his world.

You tell yourself it’s harmless, just a conversation. But one text turns into another, and another, and soon enough, you’re back to talking late into the night, the glow of your phone illuminating your pillow as his words make you laugh—really laugh—for the first time in a while.

The second time you slip, it’s worse.

You go to the café, fully intending to sit alone, to prove to yourself that you don’t need him there. But the moment you step inside and see him, already sitting in the corner with a book he’s barely paying attention to, it’s like something inside you cracks.

His eyes widen when he notices you, surprised but hopeful. He doesn’t say anything right away, just watches as you walk over and slide into the seat across from him like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

You don’t know what to say at first, but then Spencer offers you that small, tentative smile—the one that always used to break through your walls—and suddenly, you don’t feel like fighting it anymore.

"Hey," you say softly.

His eyes soften. "Hey."

And just like that, you're back in that quiet space between friendship and something more.

The third time you slip, it’s undeniable.

You find yourself reaching for him, metaphorically at first, sending texts when your day feels off, calling when you can’t sleep. But then it becomes literal. A touch here, a lingering glance there.

You miss him. More than you want to admit. And Spencer, being Spencer, doesn’t push. He just waits, patient and steady, like he’s always been.

And maybe... maybe you’re finally starting to realise that you don’t want him to wait anymore.

It’s late when you hear the knock at your door. Too late for anyone to be stopping by without a reason. You hesitate, staring at the door like it might answer for you, your heart already picking up speed in your chest.

A part of you already knows who it is before you even look through the peephole.

Spencer stands on the other side, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his coat, his hair a little messy, like he’s been running his fingers through it too much. There’s something in his posture, an uncertainty, a restlessness, that makes your stomach twist.

You consider not answering. Pretending you’re not home. But deep down, you know it wouldn’t change anything. So, with a slow breath, you unlock the door and pull it open.

His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, neither of you says anything. The hallway is too quiet, the air between you thick with words left unsaid.

“I can’t stay away anymore.”

The words come out in a rush, his voice low but desperate, like he’s been holding them in for too long. His eyes search yours, pleading, hopeful. “I tried, I really did, but I—” He swallows hard, shifting on his feet. “We need to talk.”

You should say no. You should tell him it’s too late for this—too late for him to show up at your door like this, looking at you like you’re the only thing keeping him together. But instead, you step aside, letting the door swing open a little wider.

Spencer hesitates, his breath hitching, before stepping inside. He stands awkwardly in your living room, looking around like he’s trying to remember how it felt to belong here.

You cross your arms over your chest, leaning against the door. “Spencer, what are you doing here?”

He lets out a heavy breath, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I just... I couldn’t do it anymore. Pretending like we’re okay with things being like this.”

Your throat tightens, and you hate how much his words affect you. “We were doing fine,” you say, but it sounds weak even to your own ears.

“No, we weren’t,” he counters, his voice soft but certain. “I miss you. And I know I messed things up before, but I—” He pauses, his eyes searching yours. “I don’t want to keep pretending like I don’t care. Like I don’t need you.”

You swallow, looking away. “Spencer... it’s complicated.”

“I know,” he says quickly, stepping closer. “But I don’t care how complicated it is. I don’t care if you need time, or space, or if you’re not ready to figure this out yet. I just—” He exhales sharply. “I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I never was.”

Your resolve, the one you’ve been holding onto so tightly, wavers under the weight of his words. The way he’s looking at you, like you’re the only thing that makes sense in his world, makes your chest ache.

After a long pause, you sigh, running a hand over your face. “Spencer... you’re impossible, you know that?”

He smiles—small, but real. “I’ve been told.”

You shake your head, but there’s no real fight left in you. “Fine. Talk.”

His shoulders relax, like he’s been holding his breath this whole time, and as he sits down on your couch, you realise something terrifying.

You missed him too.

Maybe more than you were willing to admit.

Spencer sits on your couch, his fingers laced tightly together like he’s trying to keep himself from reaching out. His knee bounces slightly, nervous energy spilling out in little ways, but his eyes stay locked on yours, unwavering. Determined.

“I don’t care about my job,” he says, and it’s so sudden, so absolute, that it takes you a moment to process it.

You blink at him. “Spencer, what are you—”

“I don’t care,” he repeats, leaning forward, his voice low but insistent. “If it’s my job that’s keeping us apart, I’ll leave. I’ll get a position at a different school, another department—hell, I’ll move out of the city if that’s what it takes.” His words come in a rush, desperate and unfiltered, like he’s been holding them in for too long. “I just... I don’t want to lose you over this.”

Your chest tightens, a sharp ache settling deep inside you. “Spencer, you’ve worked so hard to get where you are. You love what you do.”

He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “No. I love you.” His voice cracks, just slightly, but he presses on. “The job, the school... none of it matters if I don’t have you.”

You stare at him, words caught in your throat. This is Spencer—logical, pragmatic Spencer—offering to throw away everything he’s built because of you. Because he wants you back. And it’s terrifying.

“You’re not thinking clearly,” you murmur, shaking your head. “This... this isn’t something you can just throw away.”

“I have thought about it,” he insists, his eyes pleading with you to believe him. “I’ve thought about nothing but this. Every day. Every night.” He exhales, his hands gripping the fabric of his pants like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. “I can’t keep pretending that work is enough to fill the space you left.”

Your lips part, but no words come out. The weight of what he’s saying, what he’s offering, hangs heavy in the air between you.

After a long pause, you shake your head again, weaker this time. “You don’t have to do that, Spencer.”

His eyes soften, and for the first time tonight, his voice is gentle. “But I want to. I want to do whatever it takes to fix this. To be with you.”

Your throat feels tight, emotions bubbling up to the surface faster than you can push them down. “Spencer...”

He leans forward just a little, his voice barely above a whisper now. “Just tell me what you want. If you tell me there’s still a chance, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.”

You feel your resolve crumbling, piece by piece, under the weight of his sincerity. The way he’s looking at you—like you’re the only thing that’s ever mattered—makes it so much harder to hold onto the walls you’ve built.

You take a shaky breath, searching his face for some kind of answer. And for the first time in a long time, you realise that maybe... maybe you don’t want to fight this anymore.

Your eyes search his, and for a moment, everything else fades away. The doubts, the fear, the stubborn voice in your head telling you to keep your distance. None of it matters.

Not when he’s looking at you like this. Like you’re the only thing in the world that makes sense.

You don’t think. You just move.

One second, you’re sitting there, caught in the gravity of him, and the next, your lips are on his, soft and searching, your hands curling into the front of his shirt like you’re afraid he might disappear if you let go.

Spencer freezes, just for a beat, and then he’s kissing you back, his hands hovering over your sides, hesitant—like he can’t quite believe this is real. But you feel it in the way he exhales against your mouth, in the way his fingers finally find their place on your waist, holding you like he’s afraid he might be dreaming.

It’s not slow, but it’s not desperate either. It’s something in between—familiar and new all at once, a collision of everything you’ve both been holding back for too long.

You pull back just enough to breathe, your forehead resting against his, and for a moment, neither of you says anything. Your heart is pounding, and you can feel his racing just as fast beneath your hands.

“Tell me this isn’t a mistake,” he whispers, his voice barely more than a breath.

You shake your head, eyes fluttering closed. “It’s not.”

His grip on you tightens, and the relief in his expression is enough to make your chest ache. “I don’t want to lose you again,” he murmurs, and there’s something so raw in the way he says it, like it’s the only thing that’s mattered all along.

You tilt his chin up gently, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Then don't.”

A low groan escapes Spencer’s chest, and in an instant, he’s pulling you into his arms with a desperation you didn’t know he had in him. His lips crash against yours, hot and urgent, as if he can’t get close enough. The kiss is deep, raw, and hungry—neither of you holding back any longer.

You lose track of who’s moving who, but suddenly you’re pressed against the wall, Spencer’s body firm against yours, his fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you closer. His lips part yours as his tongue makes its way inside, a sigh slipping from your mouth at the intensity of the kiss. You tug at his hair, hard enough that he groans, but neither of you pulls away. Instead, he presses into you, every inch of him consumed with the desire he’s been hiding—just as much as you’ve been hiding yours.

His cock digs into your hip as you press yourself up against him, a flutter low in your belly. God, how you want him so badly. 

He tears his mouth away from yours, panting. “I’ve wanted this,” he mutters against your lips. “I’ve needed this for so fucking long, y/n.”

He nips at your chin, at your neck, anywhere he can, moving lower. Your head falls back against the wall as he trails open-mouthed kisses down your collarbone, his hands gripping your hips. You can feel the pressure building inside of you, a wild, uncontrollable fire.

“Spencer,” you gasp. “Please...”

His lips ghost over your clothed nipple, then his teeth are tugging on your bra, pulling the cup down. He licks over your skin, his breath hot against your flesh. Then he’s sucking you into his mouth, his tongue swirling over you, dark brown eyes gazing up at you. His hands grip your ass, kneading the flesh there as you squirm against him.

He moans, releasing your nipple with a soft pop. His fingers trail down your stomach, palms pushing your skirt up around your waist when you feel his fingers graze your underwear.

He slips his fingers beneath the fabric, his thumb slowly rubbing at your clit. A whimper tears its way out of your throat.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he breathes, his teeth tugging at your nipple. “Gonna make you cum over n over. Gonna make you beg for it.”

You’re already there, but you don’t tell him that.

Instead, you push back against him as his fingers start to thrust inside of you. Your underwear is still in the way, but it doesn’t matter. 

“I want this,” you tell him. “I want everything you can give me.”

He makes a noise against your skin, and you know that he’s giving in. That he’s letting go of his fears of crossing the line, of being inappropriate with a student. Of the ethics, of the potential consequences.

As he keeps kissing your neck, his fingers slipping inside of you harder and faster, you realise that you want this for more than just the moment. You want to explore these feelings between the two of you, to see where they take you. If they can take you somewhere special.

He groans again, and you hear the unmistakable sound of his zipper. You feel him press against you, his cock hard and thick through his underwear. He’s still wearing his trousers, but his cock is free, rubbing up and down over your clit.

“Gonna cum, Spence,” you tell him, the words coming out of your mouth in a rush. Your legs are shaking, your knees weak. Your orgasm is building, breathing growing heavy, just threatening to spill over. “Fuck, please, I need to—”

He grunts, his hips moving faster, pressing you back harder against the wall. You can feel him, feel his cock throbbing and hot against your sensitive flesh..

“Look at me,” he orders, pulling away from you.

You force your eyes open, staring up at him as your orgasm rips through you. It’s blinding, overwhelming, making your vision blur. He leans forward and kisses you, swallowing your moan whole. The taste of his tongue in your mouth is dizzying.

Spencer breaks the kiss first, pulling his fingers out of you as your orgasm recedes. You blink up at him, dizzy, as he lifts the fingers to his lips and licks them clean.

“Taste,” he whispers, pretty eyes flitting to your lips as he brings his mouth back to yours. You can feel rough stubble rasping against your skin, but you can't bring yourself to care. Not when you're finally getting what you want.

You press into the kiss hungrily, tasting yourself on his tongue, letting out a soft noise of need as his tongue explores your mouth.

He turns you around, his hand on your chest pushing you into the wall as he leans over you. His breath is hot against your neck, your shoulder. “Bend over for me,” he whispers, his voice deep and raspy. “I’m not going to fuck you just yet. First, you’re going to cum on my tongue.”

“Spencer,” you groan. He’s going to tease you, to torture you until you can’t think anymore.

You’re dripping with need, your pussy clenching as you feel him slide his fingers inside of you again. He works his way up your back, then down to the curve of your ass. He rubs a circle over the flesh there, teasing. You know what he’s doing.

His mouth is on you suddenly, and all you can do is gasp for air. His tongue is hot and slick against your clit. He presses inside, his lips and tongue rubbing over your sensitive flesh.

You groan, your hips twitching as he keeps licking into you, pleasure so strong that it’s almost painful. Your pussy aches, clenching with the need to be filled.

“Please,” you pant. “Fuck...”

Spencer makes a sound in the back of his throat, then his fingers are back, thrusting deep inside of you, rubbing over your g-spot with his fingertips.

“Fuck, angel… taste so good, always knew you would,” he grunts into your weeping cunt, voice muffled against your flesh.

You can barely breathe.

Spencer is relentless, using his tongue to make you feel things you never have before. He’s got your clit trapped between his teeth, his fingers curled inside of you.

The pressure building inside of you again, climbing higher and higher.

Your legs give out and you feel Spencer hold you up. Finally, he pulls away and you’re sagging back into his arms, breath coming in gasps and pants.

Spencer holds you upright as he drags your skirt back down over your hips. Then he’s turning you around, pulling you close as you tremble in his arms.

“You’re so perfect,” he whispers. “I can’t believe I waited this long to touch you.”

He kisses you again, the taste of your pussy still on his tongue. You moan against him, your head spinning.

“Please, don't make me wait,” you gasp, pushing back against him, feeling his cock throb in response.

“You want my cock, angel?” he rasps.

“Yes,” you pant. “Please, fuck me.”

And then he’s kissing you again, tongue parting your lips and slipping inside your mouth. You feel him walking you backwards, towards the couch in his living room. 

He sits on the couch and pulls you onto his lap, moving to straddle him as you kiss him, his cock throbbing against your inner thigh.

“Wanna sit on this cock, pretty girl?,” he growls, breaking the kiss. “Show me how much you need it?”

Your lips are swollen from his kisses, your skin hot all over. He helps you up as you move to straddle his cock, gripping your waist to keep you balanced as you sink down, feeling him nudge against your pussy before finally pushing inside.

Your head falls back as you cry out, feeling your pussy stretch around him. You’re so wet that it’s easy, but he’s still big, bigger than you’d ever taken.

“Fuck,” you whimper. “It feels...”

Spencer swallows hard as he stares up at you. “Yeah, angel?” he murmurs, his hands skating over your thighs to your hips. “Tell me how it feels.”

You start to move your hips, grinding yourself down onto him. It’s a slow, sweet torture. Every time you clench your pussy around him, his eyes flicker closed for a moment before he opens them again. His gaze is fixed on yours, dark with need.

“Spencer,” you moan, leaning forward to kiss him.

He groans into the kiss as you start to ride him, picking up the pace. Your hips roll against him over and over, making the couch creak and groan beneath you. “I said tell me how it feels.” 

“Fuck! Feels so so good, sir,” you babble as you break the kiss. You’re close again, cunt pulsing as you take him in his entirety. His hands knead at your ass, guiding you up and down.

“I’ve got you,” he pants, his lips moving over your neck. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He groans and then you feel him start to move beneath you. His hips thrusting up into you as you grind down, the sensation so overwhelming that it makes your vision blur.

Feeling your pussy clench around him again, you hear him make a noise in the back of his throat, then you’re cumming again, your body trembling above him as the pleasure spills over inside of you. Spencer holds you close, his arms wrapping around your back as his hips thrust up into you again.

“Spencer,” you cry, your head falling back. He’s still thrusting into you, still fucking you as he groans in pleasure.

He cock spilling inside of you, pulsing as he buries himself deep. His arms tighten around your back, holding you close to him. Your body shudders against his as he groans and pants, his breath hot against the bare skin of your neck. You feel his lips on your skin, soft and sweet.

You stay like that for a long moment, Spencer buried deep inside of you as you catch your breath. You blink down at him in surprise, feeling his cock fill you up again.

“What are you doing?” you ask him, your voice barely above a whisper.

Spencer’s eyes open, his pupils wide with need. He swallows. “Shh, angel. Just take it,” he tells you, his voice hoarse with need. “You're a good girl, aren't you? Gonna take what I give you?”

You feel him start to move again, his hips flexing up and down. You’re still sore from the last time, but the sensation of his cock rubbing against your sensitive walls makes your eyes flutter closed.

“Oh God,” you gasp. He’s picking up the pace now, fucking you with a hunger and desperation that makes your head spin. His cock somehow feels even bigger as he thrusts into you again and again, his hands holding onto your hips, keeping you in place. 

His lips are soft and gentle against your own, tongue moving into your mouth.

Crying out into the kiss, your orgasm comes fast, overwhelming you so quickly that you can’t even process it. You feel his thick cock pulse inside of you, the wet sound of him filling you up again making your head spin.

You’re both gasping for air as you come, your bodies trembling against each other.

He doesn’t stop, doesn’t let you collapse on him or lean back. Instead, he keeps moving, his hips thrusting up and down in a rhythm that makes your head swirl.

“Spencer—”

“Not yet,” he gasps. His eyes are wild, his pupils so dark and wide that they make you feel dizzy. “Not yet, y/n.”

You can feel him filling you again, his cock rubbing over your sensitive walls. Your pussy clenches around him again, even though you’ve already cum. He groans, his voice so loud in your ears that it makes your body shudder.

“Sir- fuck… Spencer,” you whimper.

He presses his lips to your throat, licking at your skin. His hands are still holding onto you, keeping you upright even as your legs threaten to collapse beneath you. You feel like a puppet, your strings being manipulated by the movements of his cock.

“Oh fuck,” you gasp. Your vision is blurring now, breathing coming in short gasps. His cock is relentless as he thrusts in and out of you, making your cunt clench around him again.

Your orgasm tears through you, wild and uncontrollable, pussy milking his cock as he keeps pumping into you.

Spencer grunts as you cum, his breathing heavy as he buries himself inside of you. His cock pulses inside of you, hard and deep. 

You collapse into his arms, barely conscious.

He holds you there as his cock starts to soften, still buried deep inside of your throbbing pussy. Your limbs feel heavy, your head lolling against him as you struggle to catch your breath.

“Fuck,” he whispers in your ear.

Your pussy clenches again at his voice, his lips moving over your skin, kissing and licking you, murmuring words against your skin.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get enough of you,” he whispers.

You let out a soft whimper of response, your body feeling overstimulated. Every movement of his mouth over your skin makes your pussy clench.

“Too much, Spencer, it’s too much.” You whisper, making no move to push him away.

He groans softly in response, his hand sliding between your legs and down to your pussy. You try to squirm away from the touch, but it’s no use. His finger is rubbing at your clit as his tongue moves inside your mouth, making your head spin.

“Spencer,” you gasp. “Fuck.”

He growls something deep in his throat, his finger moving faster. “You can do it, baby. You can give me another.” Your eyes are rolled back, your head pressed against the couch behind him.

You shatter apart in his arms, his mouth swallowing you whole. 

He holds you close for a long moment before he leans forward to kiss you softly. He murmurs words against your lips, words that are sweet and gentle and loving, then you feel him shift your body so that he can pull out of your pussy.

You make a soft whimpering sound as his cock slides out of you, feeling the cum drip down your thighs. He reaches between your legs to cup your pussy, feeling the wetness drip out of you.

“Good girl,” he murmurs. “Look at that. So fucking full of my cum.”

He pulls his hand away and holds it out towards you. He looks up at you with dark eyes as he moves his fingers to your mouth. You watch as the cum drips off them and down your chin as you lean forward and lick them clean, swirling your tongue around his digits, collecting your mixed release.

Spencer groans, cock twitching against your thigh, still half-hard. He pulls his hand back, rubbing the cum over your pussy.

“Stay like that for me,” he rasps, his voice full of need. “So fuckin’ pretty, such a messy girl.”

“Anything, Spencer,” you whisper back.

You watch as he strokes himself again, groaning as his cock hardens again. You feel empty without him inside of you, like a part of you is missing.

It’s not long before you feel his lips on yours again, his tongue moving into your mouth.

“I have to taste you,” he growls against your lips. “I need to taste you, need to taste us.”

He breaks the kiss and presses your head to the side. You watch in a daze as he moves down your body, lifting your skirt up over your hips and leaning forward. His hands press your thighs apart as he stares at your cum-drenched pussy.

“I think you can cum again for me,” he murmurs.

You whimper in response.

Spencer presses his thumb to your clit. You cry out as he rubs at you, feeling your body tremble again. You’re barely able to hold yourself up at this point, your muscles so overstimulated that you’re trembling all over.

“Please—”

He presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh. “Please what, angel?”

You whine in response.

“Please what?” he growls again. “Ask me nicely.”

Your eyes flutter closed. You feel his thumb rub at your clit again, and your pussy clenches.

“Please,” you gasp. “Spencer. Please, just need you.”

He kisses your thigh again before moving up towards your mouth. Lips move against yours as you tremble against him, his kiss hungry and deep. You feel your head spin as you try to return it.

He breaks the kiss and looks up at you, his gaze hungry. “Open your mouth for me,” he growls.

You do as he asks, parting your lips as he moves towards your mouth, then he’s spitting inside of it, his saliva dripping down your chin.

He rubs his spit into your skin with his hand, leaving it there, watching it glisten over your lips and chin. His hand moves back to your pussy, rubbing his cum into you again. He keeps going until you’re dripping with it, until the cum is running down your inner thighs.

“Look at you,” he rasps, leaning forward to kiss your lips again. “Look at what you did.”

Then you feel him lean forward and lick up his cum, his tongue rubbing against your sensitive clit. You make a noise deep in your throat and try to arch into him, his hands holding you down.

“No,” he rasps. “Stay still.”

“But—”

He leans forward, licking at you again. You can’t take your eyes off the sight of his tongue moving over you, can’t help the way your body shudders in response.

Spencer looks up at you as he licks at you. His eyes are dark with hunger, his mouth dripping with his cum. “Stay just like that,” he growls. “Such a good girl, my pretty little angel.”

His tongue making you shudder as your orgasm builds again. He doesn’t stop until you’re shaking against him, your clit so sensitive that you’re almost sobbing, cunt clenching so hard that you feel like you might explode.

You cum hard against his mouth, his tongue licking at your release even as you clench around it. His tongue never stops, even as you whimper and thrash out against him. He holds you down and licks you until you’re a trembling, shuddering mess against him.

Then finally he pulls back, looking up at you with hungry eyes.

You look up at him dazedly, your body still quivering. Your legs are still draped over his shoulders, your pussy open to him. Cum is still dripping down your thighs.

Your eyes widen as you watch him stroke himself, his hand moving fast. His eyes are fixed on your pussy as his cock stiffens, as his breathing comes faster and faster.

Then he’s leaning down, kissing your pussy one last time.

You can’t help yourself from arching against him, even though he makes no move to touch your clit this time. Your body is too overstimulated, too sensitive to his touch. 

Spencer kisses over your pussy again and again, making you tremble as you feel his cock rub against your thigh. You hear him grunt as his cock pulses, feel his cum soak your pussy all over again. His mouth moves over you again and again as you tremble and whimper, his cum dripping over your swollen cunt.

Finally, he pulls back, finally allowing you to collapse onto the couch, barely able to keep your eyes open.

Spencer pulls you into his arms, holding you tight against him. You lean forward, burying your face in his chest as you try to catch your breath. You hear him whispering words in your ear, sweet and soft.

“Good girl, baby. Such a good girl for me,” you hear him murmur. “Did so well, made me so proud.”

Then his fingers are back between your legs, rubbing at you with gentle strokes. You hear his voice whispering words of praise, telling you what a good girl you were for him. Your pussy clenches against his fingers, and you make a small sound of pleasure. You feel boneless now, your body heavy and relaxed.

“I’ll take care of you,” you hear him whisper. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you, baby.”

You lean forward against him and let yourself melt, his fingers rubbing at your oversensitive pussy as he murmurs praise in your ear. You close your eyes and let him take care of you, let him do whatever he wants to your body.

You know now that you’ll do anything for him.

You feel your pussy clench against his fingers one last time, and then you’re out, held in his arms as the cum runs down your thighs. You feel him whisper one last thing in your ear before you fall asleep. You can’t quite make it out, but you know it’s something good. Something sweet.

You sleep in his arms as he holds you tight, his fingers still buried in your cum-soaked pussy. 

Nestled against Spencer’s chest, the silence between you comforting yet heavy. There was an undeniable tension in the air, like you were both waiting for the other to say something. He eventually broke the silence, his voice hesitant but determined.

“I’ve been thinking... about us.” Spencer shifted slightly, his hand still resting on your back, his fingers tracing small patterns against your skin. “The money. Our arrangement... I don’t want to stop giving it to you.”

You tensed at the mention of it. You’d been trying to push that part of your relationship into the back of your mind, but hearing him bring it up again—especially now, when things felt so different—was jarring.

“I don’t need the money, Spencer,” you said quickly, pulling slightly away from him, your gaze searching his face. “I never needed it. Not from you.”

His brow furrowed, his hand gently grasping your wrist, his thumb brushing over your skin with a quiet insistence. “I want to give it to you,” he said softly, his tone a little more urgent now. “It’s not just about... the arrangement we had before. It’s about me taking care of you, providing for you, because I care about you.”

You shook your head, your chest tight. “I don’t want you to do that. I don’t want to feel like I owe you something. I just want you, Spencer. Not the money, not the... arrangement.”

He let out a long breath, clearly frustrated with the distance between what he wanted and what you were saying. “You don’t owe me anything. But this is how I show you that I care. You don’t get it. I don’t just want you physically, or emotionally. I want to take care of you. I want to make sure you have everything you need. If that means money, then that’s what I’ll do.”

His words were persistent, full of a quiet desperation that made your heart ache. “You’re not getting rid of me,” he continued, his gaze intense. “Not now. Not after everything.”

You felt the tension building inside you, a tug of war between pride and the vulnerability his words offered. He was right in one way—you didn’t want to feel like you were taking advantage of him. But another part of you knew he was genuine. He wasn’t just trying to control you, or manipulate you. This was him trying to protect you, in the only way he knew how.

“I... I don’t want to need it,” you whispered, barely able to meet his eyes. “I don’t want to need anyone like that.”

Spencer’s thumb ran across your cheek, his touch gentle but firm. “I understand. But you don’t have to need it. You don’t have to feel like you’re relying on me for everything. But let me do this for you, please. Let me take care of you in this way.”

There was a quiet, almost painful silence as you thought over his words. You felt the battle between your independence and his need to provide waging inside you. He was so certain, so unwavering in his desire to take care of you. And you knew, deep down, that this wasn’t just about the money. It was about him wanting to feel like he was enough for you—like he could give you something, be something more than just a professor or a lover.

With a soft sigh, you finally relented, your eyes meeting his. “Okay,” you said quietly, your voice tinged with hesitation. 

His expression softened immediately, a mixture of relief and something else you couldn’t quite name. “Thank you,” he said, his hand lifting to brush a strand of hair from your face, his touch tender. “I just- I want to take care of you… in every way possible. I need to do that.”

You nodded, your heart still pounding in your chest, but now it felt a little easier to breathe. You were navigating this relationship together—despite the secrecy, despite the complications. And now, despite the money, too.

The morning light crept through the blinds, painting the room with soft hues of gold. Spencer sat at the kitchen table, his book in front of him, but his attention was somewhere else. His glasses were perched low on his nose, and his hair was slightly messy from sleep.

You leaned against the doorway for a moment, watching him, feeling a small, contented smile tug at the corner of your mouth. “Early start today?” you asked, your voice still thick with sleep.

He glanced up at you, his smile gentle and easy. “Couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts.”

You moved to the table and sat across from him, the space between you feeling familiar now. It wasn’t filled with tension or expectations—just quiet comfort.

After a moment, you spoke again, this time quieter, more thoughtful. “It’s strange, isn’t it? How easy it feels now.”

He set his coffee down, his fingers lingering on the cup. “Strange how?”

“Like we don’t have to overthink everything.” You shrugged, leaning back slightly in your chair. “Like we can just... exist here, like this. Without any of the complications.”

He watched you for a moment, then nodded slowly. “Yeah. I know what you mean. It feels... easier than I thought it would.”

You couldn’t quite explain it, but there was something in his expression, in the way his eyes softened when they met yours, that made everything feel a little clearer.

“Is this what you want?” you asked, the question feeling lighter than it had before.

Spencer took a moment, running his hand through his hair before answering, his voice steady. “I think this is what I’ve been wanting all along.”

You sat with that for a moment, letting it settle between you, and somehow, in that quiet space, it made more sense than it had in the past. There didn’t need to be grand gestures or sweeping promises. Just a simple understanding, and that felt enough.

The rest of the world could wait. You didn’t need to rush toward anything else.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

taglist: @ivet4 @lunarmoonbeam1

[arc-misadventures]

Friends AU side story: How does Jaune react to a Whit thanking him for the advice for his date with Fiona, and how are the Happy Huntresses dealing with a bubbly Fiona bragging about her date with Whit?

The New Hot Couple

Jaune was at the, Schnee Manor, he was waiting on, Whitely to come by to check on his progress on his new exercise regimes. But, he was tacking a while so, he decided to do some warmups by doing some simple pushups.

Jaune: One... Two... Three... Four... Fi...?

Whitely: Jaune!

Jaune: Whit, you're late, where were you? Ten... Eleven...

Whitely: Oh, sorry... I-I was just talking with, Fio.

Jaune: Oh? Fifteen... Fio? Sixteen... You mean, Fiona right? Seventeen...

Whitely: Yeah, I meant, Fiona. She calls me, Whit, so I call her, Fio. I thought she would be upset when I called her that, but she really likes it when I called her that!

Jaune: Forty... Pet names? Forty one... You better be careful, Whit. Forty two... You may be rushing into things, you don't want to jump down a hill only to realize you've jumped down into a gorge now do you? Forty eight...

Whitely: We're being slow. We don't want to rush things, sure we're at second base, but we're no where close to going to third base.

Jaune: Fifty...?! T-Third base? Whitely, you two have only gone on two dates, and you've already kissed her?!

Whitely: W-W-What!? We haven't kissed?! We haven't even held hands yet either!

Jaune: You haven't...?! Haa... Oh gods, Whitely... If you two haven't kissed yet that means your not even at first base!

Whitely: Wait, kissing is first base?

Jaune: Yes. Fifty two...

Whitely: T-Then what's third base?

Jaune: Fifty three... Second base is physical touching... Fifty four... Typically above the waist. Fifty five... Third base is physical touching, only this time it is below the waist. Fifty seven...

Whitely: B-Below the waist?!

Jaune: Or, more commonly know as getting laid. Fifty nine...

Whitely: Laid? What does that even mean...?!

Jaune: Sex, Whitely. Sixty one... Third base means you had sex. Sixty two...

Whitely: S-S-S-SEX?! W-We even haven't held hands yet?! Let alone kissed?! W-We're no where even close to having sex!?

Jaune: Sixty four... That's obvious, ya blushing virgin. Sixty five...

: SEX?! Whitely, what the hell are you talking about?!

Whitely: Ahh, it's nothing!

: Jaune! What is he talking about?!

Jaune face was mostly stuck on watching the ground as he was doing his push ups, but he didn't need to look up, and see who was emanating that cold icy rage.

Jaune: Seventy two... You better tell her, Whit. Seventy three... It won't hurt as much if you tell her yourself then it will if, Weiss finds out by accident. Seventy six...

Whitely: Okay... W-Weiss...?

Weiss: Yes?

Whitely: I... I have a... it's only been two dates... Does this count as having a girlfriend?

Weiss: A girlfriend?!

Jaune: Eighty... Ask her first if you're her boyfriend. Then you can say she's you're girlfriend. Eighty two... After the third date... Eighty three...

Weiss: Who is this 'girlfriend' you're talking about?

Whitely: Her name is, Fiona Thyme she's a sheep faunas, a huntress, a Happy Huntress actually, and she's she's really... She's really cute...

Weiss: What?! This is bullshit!

Whitely: What's bullshit about it?! I'm dating a sheep faunas, what's wrong with that?

Weiss: It's bullshit because my brother has a girlfriend, and my sister has a boyfriend, and I got nothing?!

Jaune: One hundred... Technically, Winter, and I aren't dating... One hundred, and one... I'm not sure what we are honestly. One hundred, and two...

Weiss: It still don't change the fact, they've had more action than than I've had!

Jaune: That's on you, but you don't hang out with other people to ask out on dates. Unless your secretly gay for, Ruby, or something. One hundred, and seven...

Weiss: Preposterous! I have no interest in the female form, much less, Ruby's! Although... Yang's on the other hand...?

Whitely: She's just a girl I have a crush on who I've asked out on a couple of dates. We actually have another date today this afternoon.

Weiss: You do?!

Jaune: You have another date? Then start your exercises! You need to work on building some muscles you twig! One hundred, and twenty five... And, count off out loud so I can here you!

Whitely: On it! O-One...

Weiss: ...

Whitely: T-Two...

Weiss: ...

Whitely: T-T-Three...?!

Weiss: Well, considering he never had to do any hard labour before... this is to be expected.

Jaune: Yeah, he's improved at least. One hundred, and thirty... He's capable of doing a pushup, before that... yeah. Hopefully he'll be something like me one day... One hundred, and thirty one... Granted I just keep upping the number of pushups I do because It's so easy. One hundred, and thirty...?!

: If it's so easy for you, then allow me to give you a challenge~!

Jaune: Huw? What are you planning to... GAH?!

Jaune grunted out in surprise as he felt a sudden weight upon on his back. He almost buckled, and fell when this sudden weight was placed upon him. He turned his head, and out of the corner of his eyes, and he saw what this sudden weight upon his back was, or more accurately: Who.

Jaune: What the...?! Winter, what are you doing?!

Winter: Giving you a challenged: Now start counting, Specialist Arc.

Jaune: Grr...! Yes, Ma'am! One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six...

Whitely: Is this flirting?

Weiss: It's certainly looks like flirting... or, at least some kind of flirting?

Whitely: Do you think I could do this one day?

Weiss: Try to get at least one proper push up done, before you plan on picking up a girl, little brother.

Whitely: What? I could totally do it!

Weiss: Not unless you're as buff as, Jaune is. I mean look at him! He's doing push ups without sister on his back, and he's barely breaking a sweat!

Winter: What?! Are you taking this easy, Specialist Arc?!

Jaune: Twenty... No, Ma'am! Twenty one... Twenty two...

Winter: Then why isn't this more of a struggle for you, Specialist Arc?!

Jaune: Because, Ma'am. Twenty four... My grandfather told me that to be a, Huntsmen is to hold up the weight of the world on you! Twenty five... It's just...

Jaune turned his head to smile at, Winter.

Jaune: He never told me that the world would be so light~!

Winter: Eeep?!

A fierce blush spread across her face as she reeled back in shock.

Winter: W-Where do you get off saying something like that?!

Winter smacked, Jaune's head, startling him, and causing him to loose his balance, and drop down on his face.

Jaune: GAH?!

(Smash!)

Winter: Oh no?! Jaune?!

Whitely: Oh? That was smooth! I should remember that line...

Weiss: What?! Winter gets that kind of pick up line?! Where was this when he was flirting with me back in, Beacon?! This is totally unfair!

~~~

Back at the, Happy Huntresses 'secret' base a trio of, Huntresses watched as their resident faunas, a sheep faunas named, Fiona Thyme humming a too as she skipped about with a smile across her face.

RJM: ...

Fiona: Hmm~! Hmm~! Hmm~! Hm-Hmm~!

May: Sus?

Joanna: Sus.

May: Sus.

Robyn: Very sus.

The trio of huntresses walk towards their resident faunas, and fanned out, around her coming in from three separate angles of attack.

Fiona: Hmm~! Hmm~! Hmm...? Oh! Hey guys~! What's... what's up...?

The sheep faunas, lived up to their nature as she cowered under the gaze of three angry wolves staring down the defenseless little lamb.

Fiona: G-G-Guys...? W-W-What's wrong...?

May: She's happy...

Robyn: Too happy...

Fiona: Uhh...

Joanna: It reminds me of when, Robyn was happy...

May: Happy... Just as happy when, Jaune kissed her...

Joanna: But, even more so...

Fiona: Uhh...?

Robyn: That means she is happy because of something romantic...

May: Something romantic with that, Schnee boy.

Fiona: Uhh...?!

Joanna: But, the question remains then... Why is she so happy?

Robyn: A date...

May: Hmm?

Robyn: She's so happy, because she has a date~!

Fiona: UHHHHHHH?!

RJM: Tell what's going on!

Fiona: EEP?! I have a date! I have a date with, Whitely later today!

Robyn: I knew it!

May: She has a date?!

Joanna: Okay, lady spill the beans!

Fiona: H-He asked me on a date, a-and we're going to the carnival being held in, Unity Square! He's never been to a carnival before, s-so he asked me to go on a date with him to the carnival! A-And, I haven't gone to one in years, so I'm looking forward to this date with, Whitely!

Joanna: Okay... second question: Why, Whitely Schnee?

Fiona: Huw?

Robyn: Yeah, that's a good question. I still don't understand why your so... enamored with a, Schnee?

Fiona: Whitely! His name is Whitely!

May: She's defending him, and with such vitrail at that?

Joanna: She's fallen for him hard~!

Robyn: But, why? I mean... Whitely Schnee is the son of that bastard, Jacques Schnee? Why are you so interested in him?

Fiona: He may be, Jacques Schnee's son, but he is not his father! He may have been influenced by his father at first, but he is growing as a person, and is a kind, caring person. He wants to know what is afflicting the people of, Mantle so he, and his mother can help them. The SDC is getting ride of all the corruption it once had, and are now working to better help the people. And, Whitely is the heir apparent to the, SDC so he is making, Mantle, and Atlas a better place!

Fiona: He's kind, sweet, and a caring person! Sure I may be a bit older than him... but, he is more mature for his age! And, he's really cute little skinny twig~! I like, Whitely for who he is, not what he stands for! And, as angry as you, and others may be, I am going to keep dating him for as long as I wanted to!

Fiona: Besides... It's kinda nice to know that the worlds enemy of all the faunas son is dating a faunas... Honestly... I find that kinda hot~!

RJM: ...

Robyn: Fuck, she's got it bad...

Fiona: Huw?

Joanna: You got it bad for him girl~!

May: And, it is kinda hot that the enemy of all faunas son is dating one.

Robyn: Can you imagine it, the two of them get married, and the next head of the SDC is a faunas! Talking about pissing all over, Jacques' legacy!

Joanna: Oh gods that would be the peak of petty revenge!

May: The bastard would be rolling in his grave!

Fiona: A faunas as the head of the, SDC...? Having, Whitely's baby...? W-We're a little young for that guys!

May: Uhh, what?

Fiona: It's a little too fast for that too! I mean... I haven't held his hand yet, we haven't had our first kiss yet?! And, your recommend that I should have his babies?!

Joanna: N-No, Fiona! We're just saying how funny it would be if a faunas became the next head of the, SDC!

Fiona: But, Whitely is so cute~! Having a little mini version of him, with sheep ears... Oh, that would be so adorable~!

Fiona cupped her cheeks as a blush spread across her face as her mind ran wild with adorable little fantasies. Leaving the rest of the members of the, Happy Huntresses to look on in utter bewilderment.

RMJ: ...

May: Oh shit... she's gone baby crazy...

Joanna: Way to go, Robyn.

Robyn: Wha? Why are you blaming me?!

May: You are the one who lost it when you learned, Jaune was a father!

Robyn: N-No I did not.

Joanna: You two got into a heated debate with her on who would get his next kid!

Robyn: You heard that?!

May: EVERYONE DID?!

Robyn: Oh... Ohh shit...

///

I've done it, @lar-mx took a while, but I made a post with this photo! I even edited so his eyes would be blue!

Side note: What would be a good ship name for, Whitely x Fiona?

[roselilies]

"Are you trying to distract the curses, or me?"

The playful lilt in Gojo’s voice made the blood rush to your face before you could even turn to look at him. You had barely stepped into the training grounds when his signature white hair and too-casual stance came into view. Today, the uniform skirt you were wearing was a little shorter than usual, though not short enough to warrant his teasing.

“Excuse me?” you shot back, crossing your arms. “Why would I need to distract you when you’re already distracted all the time?”

Gojo’s grin widened behind his blindfold, and he took a deliberate step closer. His hands slid into his pockets, the picture of effortless confidence. “Oh, I’m very focused. On you, that is.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the way your stomach flipped at his words. “Don’t you have anything better to do than harass me?”

“Nope. You’re the highlight of my day, baby.”

The nickname made you falter for a split second, though you quickly covered it up by turning away and pretending to examine your nails. Don’t let him get to you, you told yourself. It’s just Gojo being Gojo.

But that was easier said than done. He had a way of getting under your skin, of making every casual interaction feel loaded with some unspoken tension. The worst part? You weren’t entirely sure he didn’t do it on purpose.

“If you’re going to stand there and flirt, the least you can do is help me set up,” you said, gesturing to the training equipment scattered around the field.

Gojo laughed, the sound warm and slightly obnoxious. “Of course, anything for you.”

Before you could blink, he was suddenly at your side, picking up a set of practice dummies as if they weighed nothing. The proximity caught you off guard, and you found yourself hyper-aware of the way his shoulder brushed against yours. Damn it, why does he smell so good?

“You’re awfully quiet,” he teased, leaning just a little too close. “Am I making you nervous?”

“In your dreams,” you shot back, shoving a dummy into his chest with more force than necessary.

Gojo caught it effortlessly, laughing again as if he enjoyed your annoyance. “I dream about you all the time, actually.”

You groaned, trying to mask the flutter in your chest. “Why do I even talk to you?”

“Because you love me,” he said matter-of-factly, his grin impossibly smug. “But don’t worry, I’ll wait for you to admit it.”

You shook your head, biting back a retort as you turned your attention to the field. His teasing was relentless, and you hated how much you secretly looked forward to it. Gojo Satoru had this annoying charm, this magnetism that made him impossible to ignore. He knew it too, and used it to his advantage every chance he got.

“Alright, focus,” you said, pointing at the dummies. “We’ve got to run these drills before the others arrive.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart,” he said with a mock salute, the smirk on his lips audible in his tone.

Ignoring the way your heart skipped at the nickname, you moved to the center of the field. As you began demonstrating the first sequence, you felt Gojo’s gaze on you, heavy and unapologetically lingering. It was like he wanted you to notice.

“Gojo, stop staring,” you snapped without looking at him, your voice sharper than you intended.

“Why? You look good,” he shot back, unbothered. “The uniform suits you. Especially the skirt.”

You froze mid-step, heat rushing to your cheeks. “Why thank you, but you’re impossible.”

“And you’re cute when you’re flustered,” he said, his tone softening slightly, almost fond.

That caught you off guard. Usually, his comments were light and playful, but this felt different, more intentional. You turned to face him, trying to gauge whether he was just messing with you again. His expression, though hidden behind the blindfold, seemed uncharacteristically sincere.

“Why do you do that?” you asked, your voice quieter now.

“Do what?” he asked, tilting his head.

“Say things like that.”

Gojo paused, and for a moment, you thought he might deflect like he always did. But then his lips curved into a smaller, softer smile.

“Because I mean it.”

The simplicity of his answer left you speechless. You searched his face for any sign of a joke, a smirk, something to suggest he wasn’t being serious. But all you found was an openness that made your chest tighten.

“...You’re so annoying,” you muttered, looking away to hide your embarrassment.

Gojo laughed, the sound lighter than usual. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Don’t.”

“Too late.”

He stepped closer, his voice dropping slightly as he added, “But seriously, you look amazing today. Not just today, though. Always.”

You hated how easily his words got to you, how they made you feel warm in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

“Whatever,” you mumbled, turning back to the equipment. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Anything you say, baby,” he replied, but there was something gentler in his tone now—something that made you think maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t entirely joking.

A/N: Gojo I will always love you.

[frogsandfries]

I think I was in like, fourth grade when I first learned there was a group of people called Jews, and that even though most of them look white, like me and about 75% of my peers at the time, they're "other".

I've never, ever been religious, even growing up in a moderately religious family.

Maybe this is where my confusion comes in about why I, a white person, should hate another white person for their religion. Or maybe I'm focusing too hard on the religion thing. After all, in this age of leaving religion behind us, people are Jewish in a way that people are not Christian. Being Jewish is also like being Navajo or being Celt.

My entire childhood, it was hammered into me "don't stare at people just because they look different from you; be kind to everyone; treat everyone in a way you would want to be treated".

My parents are, obviously, older than me. They are chronologically closer to the socio-political upheaval that WWII unquestionably caused. My maternal grandfather could have been in WWII, but I'm not positive about his service record. I guess I've never thought to ask my dad why they didn't teach me about Jews or like, make some kind of point about it. Too little, too late. They didn't make a big deal about how groups of people who look white, like the Romani, the Irish, and the Jewish, are "not white" and why people shun them.

Now, maybe we're getting into the part where, I'm undiagnosed but unquestionably autistic. I still don't understand why black people were chosen to be othered and then traded like livestock. I still don't understand why Catholics and Christians seem to have gotten together and been like "those believers in an Abrahamic god, they're bad and other and we should spend generations upon generations othering and shunning and excluding them."

Honestly, I think there's a lot of nuance about neurotypical humanity that I'll probably never grasp, because when I look at humans with dark skin, I see the usefulness of their dark skin to help them survive the places where their dark skin evolved. When I see humans with pale skin, I see the usefulness of their pale skin to help them survive. When I see humans with epicanthic folds, I see the usefulness of that trait too. All I see in humanity are the ways that we have evolved to live all over this planet, in the mountains, on islands, near volcanos, in wet places, in dry places, in cold places and hot places.

I just can't get over how beautiful the vast variety of humanity is, to get to a place of hate.

I'm not sure there will ever be a sufficient explanation for me to fully grasp why Jews are other and why I should want them eliminated. The Jewish people have also made it for hundreds of generations over thousands of years. At the very, very least, they're as suited to this planet as any Brit or Celt or Navajo or any other group. At the very least, they bring something genetically unique and useful to the human species. They also have their own culture and stories and art and ways of dress. They have their own language and ways of existing in the world, and I think maybe that's blinding me to what seem flimsy and pathetic excuses to cling onto outdated ways of being.

We might share a common ancestor with chimps, but we are not chimpanzees. We have sophisticated language. But instead of using it to appreciate each other and appreciate that we've made it millions of years of evolution to reach this point, we use our sophisticated language skills to hate and hurt, to develop weapons and to use those weapons against each other.

And somehow, this is okay with way too many people???????

“Elon didn’t mean to sieg heil, he’s just autistic”

Do you guys remember when Kanye said he was gonna go “death con” on all the Jews? Do you remember how his apologists said he was just off his bipolar meds? Do you remember that he doubled down, said he didn’t actually have bipolar, and he had been misdiagnosed by a Jew doctor? Do you remember he proceeded to meet with prominent white supremacists and told infowars he was a Nazi who loved Hitler?

Nobody ever believes the Jews the first time, even though our culture has spent literally thousands of years learning the warning signs. We know what we’re looking at. It’s two consecutive Nazi salutes on a white supremacist’s inauguration day. You can downplay it all you want, but this coal mine’s canary isn’t coming back to life.

[kirbmey]

⠀⠀ཐི ˚̣̣̣ ⠀⠀ husband!sylus spoils you rotten⠀ ˚̣̣̣ ཋྀ

synopsis: sylus’ just a man who’s blindly in love at the end of the day. a man who’s also ridiculously rich and happens to be married to a little angel who loves pink and shiny things ꒰՞◌• ༝ •◌꒱♡

tw: more fluff (i just need him to take care of me), usage of ‘daddy, reader is a sweatheart, money doesn’t have value for these people at all, reader is very feminine and materialistic (sylus’ fault), mentions of pregnancy and baby fever, he smokes, etc.

being laid down on top of the pink fluffy blanket covering the big four-seater leather couch while waiving your feet slowly and scrolling mindlessly through your favorite luxury brands’ websites was definitely a hobby; an expensive hobby.

but weren’t those pink miumiu ballerinas just so perfect for the spring? and what about that dior shoulder bag? the handle made out of white gold with little diamonds creating details around the fabric? to the cart it goes.

let’s not even get started with make up, knowing how much sylus liked it when you wore this crimson chanel lipstick to his prestigious meetings, you just had to buy another one, and it had to be the limited edition, too… ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

he was more than okay with you leaving him dry (he has money for infinite lifetimes) every other day, handing you his black card when you two started dating a year ago; got married two months after.

sylus just had to make you his wife, his trophy, you were so perfect to his eyes, his ideal type. everything about you, physically and mentally fit with him like a puzzle. like a barbie to her ken.

and he was so… so. god, he was like a god (he kinda was). tall, fit, deep voice, pretty face, beautiful eyes, soft hair… and a plus to that, he was rich and influential. and he wanted you and only you! ૮ ෆ ´ ˕ ` ෆ ა

so you just clicked on the ‘check out’ button and wrote down the digits you ended up learning by heart, caressing the rock on your finger while waiting for the confirmation of your order.

sure, these expensive goods took longer than usual to be shipped, blah blah blah. sylus was one of the richest men in the country, his name was written in gold on every luxury brand list. when they saw he ordered something, anything, even just a hair clip, he was prioritized.

you happily jumped out of your seat, skipped with joy towards your husbands office, knocking before hearing a clear ‘come in’ from him.

⠀ ⠀ 　　　 “daddy, daddy! wanna see what i got for tomorrow’s party?” you asked with that sweat tone that you only reserved for him, sitting on his expensive wooden desk and swinging your feet.

⠀ ⠀ 　　　 “of course i do, kitten, lemme see.” he closed his laptop immediately, pulling the tall leather chair closer to your small frame and holding your ankles between his slender fingers, massaging your manicured feet while you scrolled through your phone to show him pictures and the inspo you got out of pinterest.

you started to rant about all the things you bought with his money, gaining low hums while he stared at you with heart-shaped eyes, an erase-able smile plastered of his sculpted face.

sylus loved it when you used his money and then bragged about it, loved it when someone complimented your outfit at a fancy dinner and you kindly thanked, saying your husband bought it for you.

but his favorite part of this whole process was when you made him sit on your bed which was filled with high-end bags, so many that the sheets weren’t even visible anymore, and gave him a detailed haul of everything, with try on included (by his request).

he’d order you to twirl around while he sipped on some french wine and smoked his cuban tobacco, manspreading so you could stand between his legs and allow him to take in every detail.

ever since he started dating you he slowly noticed these expensive brands paid crazy amount of attention to every detail, and he loved tracing the intricate shapes printed on the fabric while complimenting you.

but you were no selfish! no sir, you also bought things for your beloved, fantasizing about matching outfits with him, ordering him light colored clothes; things he’d never wear if it wasn’t for you.

⠀ ⠀ 　　　 “mm, what else do we have here… i don’t even remember what i got this time.” you mumbled while you stood on your knees on top of the mattress, throwing the empty bags away as you looked for the ones you haven’t opened yet.

⠀ ⠀ 　　　 “oh. my. god. sylus, close your eyes.” you told him trying to mask your excitement, grabbing the huge bag between weak fingers and placing it in front of him. “open them now, look.”

⠀ ⠀ 　　　 “isn’t this too big for you, honey?” he questioned leaving the cigarette in the ashtray, holding the white leopard fur coat up, the tag said ‘dolce & gabbana’, one of his favorite brands.

⠀ ⠀ 　　　 “no, silly. it’s for you. i thought you’d look so good with it on.” you revealed, grabbing his hand to coax him into standing up, stripping him naked out of his shirt and getting on your tippy toes to dress him with said coat.

he really looked expensive with it on, showing off his trained abs and juicy pecs while making his broad figure appear even more prominent, the neck chain he often wore visible.

he wasn’t used to using big pieces like this, but he let you style him as a mere mannequin; he’d always get more compliments then usual on his outfits ever since you started matching them with yours.

he’d often caught you checking out baby clothes or nursery furniture when your period got close, too. and couldn’t help but imagine how good of a mother you’d be, how beautiful you’d look in your sleeping gowns with a swollen belly.

if sylus already cherished you in front of everyone, proud of showing you off as his wife, he couldn’t help but smile at the thought of showing off an entire family ૮꒰ ྀི ◜ . ◝ ྀི꒱ა

but there was time for that, you were too young still and he wasn’t going to age or die any time soon.

he just hoped you wouldn’t ask for a baby; he didn’t know how to decline you.

a/n: i’ve been an unfaithful girl writing sm about caleb and neglecting my favorite boy sy like this :(

— masterlist.

[ninguitar]

꣑ৎ　────　SURPRISE, SURPRISE　♱.　DA 　　　　　　with you, i just can't get enough 𓈒𓈒

───﹙☕️﹚𝓢. ｡｡　you were a simple girl, who was utterly infatuated with your own girlfriend and was inevitably weak for her, so what could you do but yearn for her touch while she's away? or daniela's surprise visit.

𝓹airing. daniela avanzini x f!r 𝓰enre. fluff wc. 1.9k+ notes. req here !! (MASTERLIST)

now playing ⋆ by my side by junny

WEEKS WOULD PASS BY QUICKLY, yet despite that, you were still attached to your girlfriend, counting and crossing off the days till she would visit again sure, the distance was painstakingly testing your limits bit by bit, but you two were able to keep the flame alive. though it seemed like no matter how much you tried to distract yourself, there was always a daniela-avanzini-shaped hole in your heart, waiting patiently to be filled.

and likewise on daniela's end, it was the same; every few days, she'd call you, before realizing it was past midnight for you, and immediately hanging up. phone calls were weekly, and you always found yourself lost in the latina's voice, too entranced by it. tonight, of course, was no exception.

"how are you holdin' up?" as you murmur softly against your phone, your eyes were irritated from the bright screen. you sigh out heavenly under your breath, heat curling at your cheeks, as your eyes turn to trace out daniela's features. the latina sighs on the the other end, the weariness evident in her voice.

"california's nice, warm," she mutters against her phone, an exaggerated groan falling shortly from her lips. with a sullen shrug of her shoulders, daniela continues, "you should come up for spring break, y'know." you hum in response, your eyes skimming over your tv playing while its volume hums in your ears. it wasn't like you were really watching or listening to it; it was just white noise and fuzz in the background.

you shake your head, a chuckle escaping your breath, "i know, dani. you always tell me this—any time there's an upcoming school break, you practically beg me to come." your smile only deepens, as she lets out an amused snort, shaking her head in a frenzy to retaliate.

"i do not beg! i just wanna see my girl—you can't possibly attack me for that, could you?" and you're barely able to suppress your amusement, as you inevitably giggle, rolling your eyes.

you grin, shrugging, "whatever you say, dani." your soft laughter makes daniela's heart swell, drawing her from her thoughts. and for a second, her heart aches; exhaustion combined with missing you gnawing at her heart bit by bit, and it was like you were both the first and last thing in her mind.

despite being across the country from one-another, you could just imagine that smile in the corner of her lips, the same one that adorns her face whenever you tease her. "you know, every time i go shopping with the girls, there's always something that reminds me of you," she huffs, pausing, "i literally have a corner near my bed just for your gifts, like i'm just stuck with boxes full of things that you would like."

in response, you softly shake your head, her words eliciting a series of laughs from you, "i'm sure i'll see you soon enough," and really, your words shouldn't make a slight frown jut your lips, but they still do nonetheless. she nods understandingly, and you two fall into silence, faint hums falling from your lips. and before you knew it, daniela was back talking—talking till she ran out of material. everything was so entirely her, and it felt almost like you two were highschoolers again, trying to skip classes with one-another.

everything was easy for you two; it was like pulling teeth just trying to pry you two off each-other—like two peas in a pod, or birds of a feather. everywhere she went, you went, and vice-versa—just two lost puppies following one-another.

and it feels good to be known well—to have a safety net behind you, at any given moment. things had been tense since daniela moved across the entire country, and you moved further north; every now and then, that drifts across your mind, the impulsive move to drop everything at university to just see daniela becoming more tempting day by day. though, you knew the latina well—well enough to know how she'd persistently scold you if you moved forward with that idea.

"you missed me a lot, don't you?" she's wearing an easy, half-lidded grin, and you couldn't even muster up the balls to protest against her words, immediately nodding your head. your head falls forward against your pillows, your heart twisting at the thought of not seeing your girlfriend for another few months.

her eyes lazily follow your movements, a grin like the cheshire cat sporting her face, as you breathlessly mutter against your pillow, "shut up, dork. you're even lucky 'm entertaining you like this." daniela snorts in response, knowing you were just exaggerating. her eyes glitter, as she watches you grumble irritatedly under your breath, rolling your eyes.

"it's getting late f'you, dani," your eyes crinkle at the corners by your wide smile from watching your girlfriend shake her head in a frenzy, obviously disagreeing with your words. you watch the latina whine, her resilience to stay awake on call with you still as prominent. her face scrunches, repeatedly rasping out, "not yet! i wanna see you till my phone's probably gonna be off the entire day tomorrow."

"just one more hour. don't make my beg here—that's just cruel, don't you think?" and if you knew better, you would've protested, and daniela was so sure you wouldn't say no, not with the way a soft smile curbs your lips that betrayed your previous words.

so what if you were a little too easy to persuade when it came to doing anything your girlfriend wanted to?

and as the clock struck 3 in the morning for you, and 12 in the morning for daniela, your eyes quickly close shut. you gruff out against your phone before completely falling asleep, "g'night." the latina lets out a giggle at how quickly you knock out, as she props her phone on her nightstand, making sure you were completely asleep.

"you woke me up!" yoonchae exclaims, walking into daniela's and manon's room with pajamas on. her eyes shift to the ginormous luggage in the middle of their room, raising her brows, as her eyes practically bulge out. "you're only gone for like, a few weeks? you don't need all of this." she gestures to the luggage, as daniela huffs in response, rolling her eyes.

"i do need all of this!" the latina sputters out, crossing her arms against her chest, as she tilts her head. the korean girl further taunts daniela, giggles falling shortly from her lips, "most of the things are for your girlfriend, am i right, or am i right?"

daniela scoffs playfully, but it wasn't like yoonchae was wrong; most of the things she's packed were for you. "i just wanna pack before mornin' comes; i need to say bye to the girls and buy flowers."

"for your girlfriend?" the younger girl teases, as the latina gives her a side-eye, huffing under her breath.

[ dani my girlfie ] whats ur address again? ( 10:47 am ) [ dani my girlfie ] wna send u flowers rq ( 10:48 am ) [ dani my girlfie ] for our 1 year anniversary. ( 10:48 am )

[ yn ] dont make me wna fly to la impulsively nd kiss u.😢😢 ( 10:49 am ) [ yn ] get ur fine ass to new york pls. 💔💔 ( 10:49 am ) [ yn ] ok anyw my @ is [blahblahblah]. ( 10:49 am )

[ dani my girlfie ] anything for my girl ;) ( 11:12 am ) [ dani my girlfie ] ill ttyl i have practice tdy. ( 11:12 am )

[ yn ] okok ttyl work dork !!! ( 11:13 am )

[ dani my girlfie ] work dork lover. ( 11:14 am )

whenever there's a knock at your dorm, you ultimately suspect it to be one of your friends needing you for something stupid—because it almost always is. there's no reason to make you think otherwise.

it's either your dormmate, sunghoon, who usually forgets his keycard for the dorm, or one of your friends, chaewon, asking for the answers to a reading from your guys' shared eng 1a course, or both of them insisting on taking you out to some party, because you 'need to take your mind off of stuff.'

so of course, it's more than jarring that you don't hear any of their voices when you holler from your bed, "who's there!" and instead of one of their voices, you hear, "flower delivery for yn!"

clicking the door open, you freeze in your movements when you see a neatly-dressed daniela standing by your door's threshold, a suitcase behind her, and a bouquet of flowers curled up in her hands. a grin that stretches for miles adorns her face, and she chuckles.

"are you gonna let me in, or are you just gonna stand there?" the latina jokes, and her arms open instinctively to pull you in for a hug.

it'd been two long, grueling months—72 days to be exact, not like you were counting though—since you saw her, and oh have you missed your girl. you throw your arms around daniela, your head buried against the nook of her neck, as you mumble incoherent words under your breath. the curly-headed girl stumbles for a second, maneuvering the bouquet of flowers to her other hand, as her hand finds its way to your locks.

"surprise?" daniela whispers in your ear, her hands cupping your jaw, and with a gentle smile tugging her lips, she pulls you to eye level. you roll your eyes, pulling away for a fleeting moment to hoist up her luggage, bringing it inside your dorm.

"definitely a surprise," a hint of a teasing smile plays on your face, as the latina follows suit, her eyebrows furrowing. settling down the girl's bags, you manage to muster out, "how did you even pull all of this off?" your soft voice echoes, as you leave it all on your carpeted floor, spinning back around to face her, and letting your eyes fall on her lips momentarily. her hand brushes up against yours, gently tracing over your knuckles.

you manage to move first despite your dazed expression, leading the two of you to your crammed couch, her cheek resting on your shoulder. and the world practically stops for the two of you, because all she could fixate on was the feeling of your heartbeat from your sternum, and the way a heavenly sigh escapes from your lips.

her gaze softens, a playful glint in her eyes, as she speaks, "well, i missed seein' you, so i booked the earliest flight." daniela shrugs, cradling you into her embrace, with her thumb tracing your lower lip. you scoot closer, letting out an amused snort, "if it was that easy, i would've booked a flight to la months ago."

her hands rest on your hips, your heart skipping a beat at her tender touch, as you lean closer, softly pressing your plush lips against hers. your hands dance over her jaw, gently hooking it around her shoulder, as her mouth moves against yours in precise movements. you feel a warmth spread around your face at her sudden bluntness, a series of giggles escaping your lips.

"you missed me, right? daniela asks, and her hand threads itself with yours, your body shivering at the trifling lace of her hands on yours. her lips find their way trailing down your jaw to your throat, sighs drifting from her lips, as desire floods through your veins. she muses, "big baby."

scoffing, you raise your brows, "you're the one who booked a flight across the entire country for a girl—i think that's clingy." an ear-to-ear grin flashes on her face, as she shoots you a knowing look, continuing her ministrations against your skin. unexpectedly though, she pulls away.

"i'm not clingy," daniela mutters grumpily under her breath, nudging your shoulder, before pressing herself closer to you, your warmth emanating onto hers.

그래 나도 너와 같아

이 무심한 한 마디면

current 𝓽aglist : (open.)

@lararajjj @kisshae @sed7ction @yeetaberry127 @vrtualstar @jellaaa @jaythegirlkisser @falling-intoo-deep @c-yerim @ssamlovr @gtfoiydlyj @rinapomu @meganskiendielsbtc

[zorak-phd]

He's a white South African whose family profited from the South Africa Apartheid State and Emerald mines. He did move to Canada at 18 though and acquired Citizenship through his mother whose Canadian born.

Also one of the first things Elon did when he bought Twitter was unban a bunch of previously banned Nazi accounts under the guise of "Free Speech".

Twitter itself has become a safe haven for Nazis and Nazi content, reporting the just blatant Nazi shit, symbols, threats, even calling black people monkeys or racial slurs will just get you a message along the lines of "we found that this content doesn't break our rules regarding our safety policies". Twitter has been under fire for several years by several watchdog agencies regarding its lack of moderation of hate speech (and also Child exploitation).

Infamously, Twitter even had a Transphobic group led by the user "ValidLs" whose sole purpose was doxxing and harassing Trans people online and irl, celebrating their deaths, even going as far as: creating websites that documented people's addresses + phone numbers of theirs and their family members + their real life schedule + best time to harass them, creating fake DM screenshots and sending it to a trans person's parents to convince their parents that their child was a pedophile and get them kicked out of their home, sending people to harass the family & friends of dead trans people AT THEIR FUNERAL. Despite being brought to his attention, no action occurred against the user + group for 2+ years until actual law enforcement got involved. This account was also verified on twitter, meaning that it had to not only been manually checked and verified by Twitter to be deemed acceptable, it also made income on Twitter from the amount of attention it got.

Despite the lack of moderation on right wing accounts, the same can't be days for left wing accounts and topics. The most well known is that saying the term "Cis" on Twitter is Automatically labeled as "hate speech" and will not just get you shadowbanned, it can potentially get you fully banned. As a reminder, not even actual racial slurs like the N word with the hard R will get you marked this way, especially not automatically. Elons personally banned left wing journalists he doesn't like several times, ESPECIALLY if they criticize him or his companies. Despite how nonexistent moderation is when it comes to hate-speech & the doxing of trans people and other figures/people belonging to left-leaning groups, the same can't be said for when it occurs to right-wing figures, most infamously when the Neo-Nazi artists Stonetoss was doxxed, a site wide ban & new rules were quickly put in place to prevent it's spread.

(If you want to get conspiratorial with it, StoneToss asked his Twitter followers to help him get in contact with Elon shortly before the ban went happened, even stating "I know some of you guys have connections to him". Unfortunately there's nothing available to directly prove they got connected but the timing and how it was handled despite how differently it is from when similar events happen to left wing groups raises some eyebrows).

Elon himself has also retweeted and agreed with bigoted views & sentiments on Twitter. It's no secret anymore that he's transphobic himself but he's also agreed with anti-Semitic conspiracy theories and called it "the actual truth", recommended an interview with a Nazi apologists downplaying the Holocaust and calling the Nazis "Humane".

Do not let them erase this. Do not let them tell you he meant "my heart goes out for you."

This man is the grandson of a Canadian Nazi sympathizer who moved to South Africa BECAUSE he thought the apartheid was just the coolest.

He has a gaggle of kids specifically because he believes his genes are superior and need to be spread to improve humanity.

He has thrown his support behind the neonazi party in Germany and the far right party in the UK, not to mention how far he's wormed up the ass of the Republican party.

He threw two sieg heil salutes back to back at the inauguration of the president of the United States and is trying to scrub the evidence off the internet.

Elon Reeve Musk is a fucking Nazi.

[marzshin]

thinking about having a secret relationship with Jamil…

•honestly it’s probably better for the both of you to have a secret relationship. his duties as kalim’s servant can go undisturbed by kalim’s excitement about him being in a relationship, he’d still be able to fly under the radar like he wants to, and you, as the kind prefect, can do without the teasing and probable odd looks from other students.

•something about having to be quiet about your affections in public can be cute at times; the knowing glances you guys exchange when denying someone’s suspicions, walking a bit too close together before realizing and making distance with a breathy laugh. it might not be ideal but it works for you guys.

•the fact that you all are limited in how you show pda, makes alone time all the more special for the two of you. when he’s alone in the kitchen of scarabia, while you’re there too, he’ll invite you over next to him and allow you to assist in his cooking and answer any questions while guiding you hands with his own. another precious time is when you two are alone in his room. now this is rare… as much as he wants to be with you more often, it just can’t be helped sometimes, which is why during the time he’s with you in his room, he spends it relishing in your touch.

•your limbs tangled together with your foreheads rested against one another, it’s a fleeting moment, as jamil’s duty calls yet again as kalim’s voice rings through the hall to their rooms. kalim calls for jamil and your both quick to get up and move to act like you’re studying instead of cuddling. and as if on

que, kalim barges in with a beaming smile. “Jamil! so i was wondering… oh! you guys are studying? i didn’t know there was a test coming up?” his voice rings through your ears and you glance at jamil before looking towards the white haired boy. “there’s no test. y/n just had a question about some homework. we’re done now if you need something.” jamil answers with an almost unnoticeable sigh. guess it’s time to say your goodbyes and try again tomorrow.

•just because you have to be careful in this relationship doesn’t mean jamil loves you any less. he’s glad he has somebody who wants him as much as he wants them.

woohoo! another little thing written, let’s go me! i actually like this one quite a bit, i hope you all like it too! thanks so much for the support on my kalim x goth reader headcannons, i really appreciate it as i’m not used to writing things like this. if you have any suggestions or critics, please feel free to share them!

[oncasette]

𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗦 𝗜 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗗 𝗜𝗡 𝗠𝗬 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧

zayne li x fem!reader, boyfriend!sylus qin x fem!reader

summary: 1.0k

But, then, before he has a chance to open his mouth, a head of white hair filters past his field of vision and sidles up next to you. He sticks his hand in your back pocket, and tugs you against his hip, and Zayne feels that fluttering feeling take flame until there’s only the ashes of butterfly wings in his gut. 

or the one where zayne is surprised to see a man he's never met picking you up from the hospital after a routine checkup.

content: jealousy, unrequited love

masterlist | beat you to it masterlist

It’d been a year or so since you’d re-inserted yourself into Zayne’s life. It’s a wonder, really, how he’d managed to make it through this long without you. That he’d let you slip through his fingers way back when. He doesn’t think he’d be able to do it, now, given the circumstances. Not with the tight grip you held over his heart.

Being your primary care physician had been easy enough when you’d started seeing him. He’d managed to explain the brunt of his lingering butterflies to the crush he’d held for you as a child and get on with his days, but that’d been before he started seeing you outside of the hospital. In cafes and bakeries and his own home, at times. Now, he’s starting to come to terms with the fact that that crush had morphed into something bigger. Something lingering. 

You’d grown more comfortable with him, and him, in turn, with you. You texted him about new macaroons you wanted to try the next time you met up with him on his lunch break, you brought him a cupcake on his birthday with a single candle when he’d neglected to buy one for himself, you wormed your way into his life and his mind and he wasn’t fond of any idea that removed you from it. 

Still, Zayne doesn’t think he’ll ever truly get used to touching you. Even in this context, with his hands covered in latex under the harsh luminescence, he has to focus especially hard to keep his hands from quivering. It’s gotten better, at least, from when he was a child. He remembers placing bandaids cockeyed over your shredded knees one summer because he couldn’t keep the tremor at bay. No, at least now, he can conduct his checkups with a semblance of professionalism. 

“Everything looks like it should,” Zayne says, his eyes flickering up to yours as he looks through your chart. He misses when it was all still paper and folders. It gave him something tangible to hold, something that felt finite. Real. Something to fiddle with while he avoided your stare.

“Good. That’s good, right?” you ask, looking up at him with an overwhelming amount of trust clouding your gaze. It pinches at his chest, before dissipating into the fluttery feeling he’d grown accustomed to.

“You’ll still need to monitor your heart and your fatigue levels with your increasing workload,” he says.

“I can do that,” you say softly. You’d always been good at listening to him, even if you were a bit stubborn about it at times. 

“Other than that,” Zayne nods, clearing his throat and turning the tablet off and setting it on the counter. “It’s very good.”

“Great! Does that make me free to go then, doctor?” you ask. He hates the way his face heats up at the honorific. Thankfully, it’d been a couple of weeks since his last haircut, and the tips of his ears were shielded from your eyes. You’d been calling him that since you were children. Each time he’d patched up a bump or a bruise, you smiled up at him with rosy cheeks and called him doc. 

“One last thing.” He fishes through his pocket to grab a mint, holding it out for you in an open palm. “Yvonne will help you reschedule for your next appointment in eight weeks.”

“Thanks, Dr. Zayne,” you chirp, offering him the toothy grin he remembers from his younger years. He opens the door to the examination room for you, following you out and watching you as you walk to the front desk to reschedule. He briefly considers stopping you, considers asking you to dinner when his shift ends, considers doing anything more than watching you leave with his tongue held tight between his teeth. 

But, then, before he has a chance to open his mouth, a head of white hair filters past his field of vision and sidles up next to you. He sticks his hand in your back pocket, and tugs you against his hip, and Zayne feels that fluttering feeling take flame until there’s only the ashes of butterfly wings in his gut. 

You hadn’t mentioned that you were seeing anyone, not that he’d needed that information to conduct this round of checkups, but, still, this had to have been new. Fresh. Stinging. An open wound with blood still pearling at the seams. 

From this distance, Zayne can faintly hear you say, “I told you you didn’t have to come inside. I would have found the bike.”

“And we can find it together just as easily when we leave, sweetie.” The man shrugs, kissing the crown of your skull. Zayne’s feet feel frozen to the ground. He should go. He has other patients to take care of, things to attend to in his office and with the attendees, but he can’t move. He’s stuck staring, tongue heavy in his mouth. His chest aches with a feeling he’d long forgotten.

“You are all set,” he hears Yvonne say and then, as fast as you’d come, you’re leaving. It’s the smallest of mercies to see you wave at him, his own hand coming up tentatively to reciprocate the gesture with his thumb clutching something small against it. Once you’re out the sliding glass door, he watches the man pull you into a lingering kiss. He hates how easy it is for you to lean into him, how eagerly you pursue his lips. He hates how much it makes his stomach churn and his eyes feel wet with something akin to embarrassment. The back of his tongue reeks of bitterness as he recalls all the opportunities he’d had and all the times he’d pushed them aside in favor of claiming that he’d have all the time in the world to tell you how he felt. Of course he’d waited too long. He’d always waited when it came to you, stalling for time until the ice finally thawed around his heart so that it was warm enough to house you there. 

Zayne swallows, finally managing to avert his gaze. He lowers his hand. There’s another mint in his fist. 

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

How could you love somebody like me?

Pairing: f!reader x Javier Peña Words count: 3032 Rating: + 18, NSFW, MDNI. Summary: Javi is under protection and has asked you to join him in the hotel room where he is confined. When you discover his secrets and lies, however, that room will become too small. Too small for both of you. Tags/warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, Javi is still a DEA agent but it's a modern setting so the man has a smartphone. Reader is described having female genitalia and breasts, no other description of her is given, she doesn't blush and her hair is not described. Mention of alcohol, mention of cheating, Javi is a cheater, no happy ending, we will go through the man's phone (you're not supposed to do that but I never said my reader could do no wrong, right?), use of pet names (gatita which means kitten in Spanish, baby, darling), smut, angry sex, unprotected p in v (do better irl), cream pie, of course a little nipple play ‘cause it’s still my fic, toxic relationship, self doubt, mention of Steve, a huge pile of lies, Javi is bad at feelings, some reader’s thoughts marked in italics. I think it's all, let me know if I forgot something and I'll add it right away. A/N: Written for @jolapeno 's "Dear-uary" challenge. This was my prompt, I struggled a little bit at first but I ended up having a blast writing this ❤︎ Heavily inspired by this song (from which the fic also takes its title), I heard it randomly on Spotify one day and I thought "wait, this is perfect for Javi!" and I ended up being obsessed with two more songs by the same artist. LOL Many thanks to: - @aurorawritestoescape , my beta, for her help and advice, she will probably dream of elephants because of me tonight hahaha Kate I own you a big one, thanks baby so much, I love you ❤️ - The person who basically pulled this out of my brain and supported me throughout the process, my precious, my peanut @joelmillerisapunk. 🥰 Love you so much it's ridiculous🥹 - @milla-frenchy for letting me blather about this thing some days ago. Love you, bb ❤︎ English is not my first language, every single mistake is still on me, I deeply apologize if you find any.

Edited - because I forgot to change the most important detail, of course. I’m not myself if I’m not doing a mess. Yay. It’s okay now.

“Why the hell am I here? Was I the only available hole this week?”

“No,” he whispers. 

“So what?” 

Javier came back and found you in the middle of the room.

You were brandishing his phone like a sword in the air, the banner of everything that was wrong.

His face went pale when he saw you like that. 

Eyes wide open. 

Mouth agape. 

He tried to say something but you immediately hit him with a vomit of words.

“I know what you’re doing,” you hiss under your breath, feeling your eyes sting.

Javier is a marble statue in front of you, his lips pressed together, his absent eyes not even looking at you, staring at a spot behind your shoulders, his arms abandoned along his sides. 

He seems anchored to the ground. 

His last words to you still burn on your skin like a fire you cannot extinguish.

A heavy silence between you fills the air of the room and makes it unbreathable. 

“Fuck, Javier, talk to me,” you whisper angrily.

You clutch his phone in your hands, so tightly that your knuckles are white from exertion, as if you were clinging to it to keep yourself from falling off a cliff. 

“You knew I was no good,” he says sternly.

You have been in this room for two days. 

Officially, Javier has to stay here because henchmen of one of the new drug lords in town are set on taking him out. 

Unofficially, he has you infiltrating the room. 

Typical Javier, spending his time under protection fucking someone. 

You foolishly almost believed it was romantic, until this morning. 

“So you’re trying to say that it’s my fault? Is that what you want to say? It’s my fault that as soon as I turn my back you go and stick your cock in someone else's pussy?” You don’t even have the strength to scream right now. Your voice comes out rancorous but low, hoarse, like a blown growl. 

Oh, you’re not going to accept being lectured by him, fuck no.

“No, I’m just saying -” he tries to explain and you glare at him, making the words die in his mouth.  

"What?" 

“Fuck, I'll never change,” he shrugs as if it were a truism that only you can't grasp.

His eyes shift to the ground, dull and absent.

“You don't change because you are convinced that you can't,” you admonish him, feeling anger rising from your chest. 

"That's not true," he murmurs, keeping his gaze on the crimson and gold carpet that lies at your feet.

“Yes, it is,” you insist, ”and you seem to like to think of yourself as an incurable asshole.”

He still fails to see the real problem, the elephant in the room that lives and thrives among you. 

"Then you tell me, if you think you know me so well,” he asks with defiance. 

“You bet I fucking know you,” you lash out. “You think you're so mysterious and complicated?! Well,  news flash, I've seen plenty like you. You’re just another man. You're not even that, you're a child. A child who's afraid of his own shadow when it comes to relationships.”

“Don’t fucking analyze me,” he hisses, finally setting his eyes back on you. 

Raven, angry and fearful. He knows you can read him like an open book and this unleashes an awareness upon him that crushes him to the ground.

You bitterly laugh, “Truth hurts, huh? I know something about it”. 

The wrinkle between his eyebrows deepens, his nostrils flare, and his mouth tightens into a line so thin you think he’s about to burst. He stays quiet instead, eyes back on the damask carpet decoration. 

_____________

“Yes, Steve, I'm fine. That jerk won't find me here, and anyway it's full of police outside the door.” 

A pause and a sigh. 

”No, no one followed her, they don't know who she is.”

You stood behind the half-closed bathroom door listening. 

You smiled. 

His voice sounded softer when he talked about you. You lulled yourself into that feeling. 

Until you heard something else. 

A booming laugh. 

Water ran in the shower, tiny droplets coated the wall as the mirror fogged up.

“Whatever. Of course I'm still screwing around. At least, I was doing it before that asshole started chasing me,” his voice suddenly lowered so you took a chance and opened the door a little more. You wanted to make sure you heard right. 

Your hand trembled against the doorknob, you grabbed your wrist to hold it steady. 

“You idiot,” he scoffed. “Yeah, we'll be in touch.”

Suspicion. The black wing of a crow that had been wrapped around your heart for a long time.

But then why did it hurt so much? 

You allowed yourself to hide it in a part of your brain where you never looked-that was a mistake. Making the hunch barely a firefly when it was supposed to be a bright neon sign.

He always places the phone with its screen down when you go out to dinner, softly smiling at it when he checks it after a few vibrations, telling you “it’s Steve” when you ask. 

But you know that crooked smile. 

He dodges when you ask him about his day "oh work, you know, just work." 

He tells you he is with Steve but you hear female voices in the background. 

Every time you try to confront him it always ends the same way, him telling you, “you’re paranoid, there’s no one else, just you, baby. You’re the only one I want.”

And then he fucks your doubts into oblivion.

You heard the thud of the phone on the blankets. And then Javier calling you. 

You swallowed the gall rising from the walls of your stomach and just smiled when he joined you in the bathroom and suggested that you shower together.

You wanted some proof before you charged him. 

If there was anything you had learned from being with him, it was that hard evidence was the key. So you played cool. 

He fucked you against the shower wall and you moaned into his neck. 

He licked your pussy like a man starved and you just bit your lips until you felt iron on your tongue.

He kissed you with that liar's mouth, and you let him.

And you fell asleep beside him, on the unmade bed of your uncertainties. 

This morning someone from outside called him into the hallway to report the latest movements of the guy who was looking for him. 

His phone was on the bedside table.

It was like a magnet, pulling your hand to it.

You were almost sure you knew his unlock code ‘cause you had watched the movements of his finger many times. 

You tried twice without success. 

The third time you let out a long sigh, visualized in your mind the movement one more time and unlocked it. 

You were in. 

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest as your fingers swiped and clicked on the screen. 

And there they were.

Dozens and dozens of messages and pics exchanged with 4 different women.

You scrolled through one of the chats with a certain Maria, who regularly sent him pictures of her tits and her legs spread wide, her pussy in the shot.

There was sexting, arranged dates, same promises he gave to you, things you never asked for but he kept repeating like a broken record. Even the same pet name. Gatita. 

Blood simmered in your veins, a jolt in your heart, throat dry. 

Your finger furiously scrolled through the chat, finding tons of messages he had sent her while he was with you.

You switched to another one and you found pretty much the same. And yet another, message after message containing flirting and explicit sex.  

“Oh Javi, you keep getting better and better with that cock of yours”

“My pussy needs you, darling, can you come over?”

“I can’t stop thinking about your huge cock dripping on me”

And the more you scrolled, the more a question formed in your brain, rumbling through your temples like a deafening drum. 

Was he ever sincere with you?

________

When he looks up at you again, you see it. A veil of fragility in the dense blackness of his gaze.

He looks almost helpless. “I know you tried,” he admits, ”You tried harder than anyone else.”

“Apparently it was no use,” you chastise him.

He doesn’t reply. 

Instead he comes closer and closer. 

You pull back, responding to his every step forward with a backward one. 

“Please,” he whispers. 

“No.” 

“Don't do that.”

“You have no right to tell me what to do,” you bark.

”I know...” 

“Fuck off, Javier, leave me alone.”

You pull back until you hit the wall behind you. 

Javier approaches, bending slightly to reach your mouth, his mustache brushes against your cupid’s bow and you don't even have the strength to turn your face away anymore. 

When your lips collide you let it happen. 

It’s like when you drink too much Tequila. 

It burns on your tongue, leaving you almost anesthetized as soon as you down it, and then an aromatic taste wafts into your mouth; it is lysergic, unusual, unmistakable.

You love it, so you keep doing it.

Javier is the same. 

He's sharp, stiff at the edges, burns like fire, but he has an aura that you won’t mistake for anything and he hypnotizes you. He’s not like anyone else, despite what you told him. There is an underlying despair in him, a cry dying in his throat, “How can you love someone like me?” 

He says it only with his eyes but you hear it clearly.

He is a time bomb that explodes in your heart every time he touches you. So you keep doing it.

“Fuck,” you whisper against his lips. 

“Yeah…I know. I’m not worthy.”

And yet, you’re still here.

You let him peel off your every layer of clothing, to leave you naked and vulnerable in front of him. 

You do nothing when he undresses too. Hastily taking off his shirt, fumbling with the button of his jeans, nervous hands and short breaths.

It is like some mind fuck game, intoxicating, dangerous, capable of leaving permanent marks.

He lowers his jeans just enough to free his cock, no boxers. Always ready.

His hands run over your hips and you groan. 

His tongue slides over your neck, his eyes closed, his breath heavy and warm on your skin. 

He makes you cry, but you don't say no.

His lips latch onto your nipple and adrenaline rushes through your veins up into your head, hitting hard like a jackhammer.

You don’t pull back anymore, you push your tit into his mouth so eagerly you feel his teeth closing on your bud and you whine in pleasure. 

His growing erection leaks against your center. You are trapped. Not so much because you are between him and the wall but because you no longer know how to get him out of your head. 

Right now it doesn't matter how much it hurts. 

He slides his hands down your thighs and you know what he wants, without needing to speak. You wrap your legs around his waist. He kneels on the bed with you still clinging to him, you lie back on the soft blankets that smell of you both, arch your back and press against his cock. You folds splayed and dripping for him.

His fingers go up your rib cage, stop under your breasts and grasp there, he draws you back to him and your mouths collide again.

You let his tongue enter. You let the fleeting pleasure of this instant take over all the no's you know you have to say.

There’s no right kind of love here, this room is drowned in angry sex.

Angry at how you can never say no to him, angry at how he makes you feel, angry because you know that no one has ever fucked you the way he did, invading your body with a pleasure so addictive that it makes you sick. Angry because maybe he's right, he can't change. 

You break the kiss and bite on his shoulder, a small act of revenge that really does no harm compared to your bleeding heart. 

Your hands grasp on the golden skin of his back, leaving marks with your nails digging into it, your miserable attempt to leave marks on him in return.

You moan convulsively under his touch, your mouth wide open against his, your tongue desperately seeking him out. 

His hands tighten on your ass, lifting you slightly, his cock slides over your wet opening, a guttural sound comes out of the back of your throat without you being able to hold it back. 

You want him inside you. 

You need him inside you.

And it’s wrong, and desperate. It’s masochistic.

You don’t even care for his jeans’s zip scraping your skin.

The thin line between pain and pleasure is so blurred now.

It’s a pathetic shit show of need and urgency. 

You’d walk away from any other guy but Javier is the person you can never have just for yourself and at the same time he is the only one you want. 

He is the knife and the wound at the same time.  

When he asks “Whose pussy is this?” in his deep groaning voice that fucks directly with your brain, you can only reply “yours.”

Digging your nails deeper, biting more, wailing louder but just pleading with him.

You take his shaft in your hand and rub it against you in blind desperation, wetting it with your juices. 

He groans into your ears while his hand reaches for your nipple and his big strong arm holds you close.

You are sitting on his thighs, your legs crossed behind his back.

His fingers pinch your nipple as you don't stop stroking his big throbbing cock.

Just put it in there. You think. I just need to feel your flesh against mine, inside me, claiming me like the rag doll that I am now. 

Stupid bitch trying to have you when you’re damaged like a shattered glass, when you can bring nothing than heat to my body and freezing ice to my heart. 

“Fuck me,” you groan. 

He pushes against your core, entering you with one deep thrust.

Your pussy is weeping so much it doesn’t even hurt.

You clench on him with all the strength you have, chocking his cock with your walls.

“Fuck,” he growls. “You’re gripping me so hard, baby. There’s nothing you want more than this, huh? Me fucking you raw?” 

“Shut up,” you hiss. 

He starts moving, pumping into you as his hand reaches for your clit, brushing it in circles.

You whine, clinging onto his back, your face hidden in the crook of his neck.

You can’t look him in the eye, you can’t face your own shameful reflection in his pupils, you can’t think of anything else than this pleasure firing your body, your limbs, your mind.

Your pussy never gets the memo when it comes to him. She just clenches, and cries and asks for more.

At the verge of your brink, when you’re so utterly overwhelmed you could swear, you’re about to jump out of your skin, you hear it.

It’s the softest whisper on your skin, so low you barely catch the words, “I love you” 

You cry a single tear that slides down the column of his neck, it could be mistaken for a bead of sweat so easily and Javier doesn’t notice it. But it’s there. You’re crying again.

You come, weeping.

Grasping to him like your last shred of hope.

But there’s no hope anymore.

You know you can’t go on like that.

You cried before. You argued before. It’s all useless.

A devastating orgasm shoots through you, leaving you without defense.

It’s the last thing you want but you need to get it over with. 

You lie on the bed, feeling his last twitches inside you, his cum dripping onto your walls, his cock pressing against that spot that belongs only to him.

He lies down on you, gently crushing you with his weight, his sweaty skin against yours, the smell of your orgasm filling your nostrils.

You’re hopeless and breathless. 

He's still inside you, like he doesn't want to leave. 

You know you have to. 

Eventually he shifts, lying on the other side of the bed muttering, “god, you really are something else.” He takes the pack of cigarettes from the nightstand and lights one, taking a long drag.

“I'm not enough,” you want to scream looking at him through the cloud of smoke enveloping him. “Or maybe you're not, for me.”

When he is about to fall asleep, you get up. You pick up your clothes off the floor and put them on silently.

“Where are you going, gatita?” he grunts. 

Does he think he has solved it? Does he think you will forgive him as you did the other times? 

You don’t reply.

"You only ever tell me the truth when you think I won't hear it,” you type on your phone and send it to him, before coming out of the door without turning your back.

You leave him there, wondering, lost as he makes you feel.

There will be two broken hearts. 

You know he loves you and you love him.

He is convinced that he doesn’t deserve you and pushes you away every time you get close to his soul. 

He knows that you see him clearly; that scares him.

You are tired of fighting for the both of you.

You push the elevator button under the gaze of an unsuspecting policeman who urges, “Where are you going, miss?”

“I'm leaving.”

“Do you need someone to accompany you?” 

“No, thank you.”

“Someone could follow you,” he counters.

“No one knows me, you don't have to worry.”

You wait for the elevator, still hoping to see his ruffled raven hair poking out the door, his voice calling to you, his hand tightening on your wrist. 

None of this happens.

The only ones who will follow you are your ghosts.

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[apilgrimpassingby]

My perspective on this stuff, for what it's worth.

Firstly, my Orthodox perspective on:

Divorce: I honestly love the Orthodox perspective on divorce, which is that divorce and remarriage are sins, but enabling abuse or neglect are worse sins, and so we (on a case-by-case basis) permit divorce.

Faith: Fr. Seraphim Rose, a famous Californian monk, is often held up as an arch-conservative (he vehemently rejected evolution and thought that yoga, speaking in tongues and UFOs were demonic) and even he said (in his book Nihilism): "Atheism, true 'existential' atheism burning with hatred of a seemingly unjust or unmerciful God, is a spiritual state; it is a real attempt to grapple with the true God.… Nietzsche, in calling himself Antichrist, proved thereby his intense hunger for Christ." This is partly because, for us, faith is a way of life (being faithful to God) and not a mental state (having faith in God), and so having doubts is not (inherently) lacking faith.

Sex: this is just bizarre. We think properly-ordered sex is good and holy, and so do almost all Christians.

And I would add to that: Orthodox Christians make up 10% of the world's Christians, we are the second-largest denomination (after Roman Catholicism), we are one of the three major streams of Christianity (Roman Catholicism and Protestantism being the other two), we are arguably the oldest form of Christianity in the world today. I'd say any description of "Christianity" that excludes us is a bad one.

In terms of Judaism, I remember reading Boyarin's book Borderlines: The Partition of Judeo-Christianity. One of the points he comes back to, again and again, is that Judaism and Christianity in their extant forms are not pristine specimens from the 1st century, but belief systems which evolved into their current form through centuries of development, debate and inter-sectarian conflict, and interprets several points in the Talmud as being writing to establish Rabbinic Judaism as the sole acceptable form of it.

In terms of Christian politics, I highly recommend the lecture "What Would Jesus Do?" by Alec Ryrie, professor of the history of Christianity at the University of Durham; you can find it for free on YouTube. He points out that Billy Graham, the founder of modern American Evangelicalism, was a moderate on abortion and a very vocal supporter of the Civil Rights Movement - indeed, his support for it was the main thing that got white Southerners to be okay with it - and that Jimmy Carter was a far more devout person than Ronald Reagan.

(Sidebar: I feel like, even if they don't know the history, most people are at least vaguely aware that Christianity has developed a ton over the centuries. Why do so few people realise it's the same for Judaism?)

In short, I remember someone saying that "Poster who's only familiar with American fundie Christianity and super progressive American Judaism but feels confident making sweeping statements about both is a whole genre of poster and an extremely irritating one at that" and ... well, OP's Exhibit A of that.

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"