#but it's not even 8pm
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thanks to some extremely wordy 19th-century authors i won't name, my baseline for book length has become so skewed. just finished my current library books and have a few days before i can go to the library to get my holds so i was like, hmm, what should i read in the meantime? how about...this 900-page novel i found on the side of the road?
#me: 900 pages isn't that long. 50 pages a day and i'll be done in less than three weeks#i just read the first 50 pages and it is super interesting so i think it will actually work out it's just. in like two days i'm gonna have#seven new library books. come on babe think it thru.....#reading#my posts#anyway my head hurts and i just feel kinda crappy today. had another intense relationship conversation with someone from my past#and afterward i was like i'm cranky :( i want to reread a raksura#but somehow that turned into this. maybe now i will reread a raksura? idk i kind of want to just go to sleep#but it's not even 8pm
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-- Its strictly forbidden to listen to music after 7:37 pm --
#room#music#cassettes#walkman#headphones#cyberpunk#retro#scifi#future#hitech#80s#90s#loop#stuck#specialbelt#banana#justfriends#cyborg#melted#files#evening#8pm#rebel#machines#illustration#drawing#pose#digitalartwork#digitalart#digitalillustration
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Worlds Worst Comic Inspired Inktober prompt for all who celebrate
#kuri#aubrey#if even one person does a single day this will have been a success#yes I’m posting this at 8pm on October first its fine just get Cracking Now#furry#inktober#worlds worst comic
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19.09.23, tuesday
tired !! but nOT SLEEPY damnit
things done today:
2h lecture
4h of coding
#but i should be sleepy bc it’s 8pm and i’m trying to go to sleep early#but I also would need an evening walk to reset my brain I think#but im tired#but if I won’t go I might not be able to rly sleep too well#but !! i am !! tireddd !!#and i dont want to go !!!!!#studyblr#bookblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#read#book#studyspo#dark academia#september 2023#2023
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god. bits of human trudy. yall she was 10 years old at one point and our trudy never was
our trudy is like an obituary to human trudy and we only get to find out what the original trudy was like when shes already gone
#and thats what she is#pretty much completely gone#even if bot trudy has access to some of her memories and has her personality#its not the same thing#she isnt the same#and tucker made her while taking so many bits of her away#and shaping her into this more hollow version of what he saw her as#just a wife and a mother who cooks him chicken and stays out of his way and cant read and isnt allowed out of the house after 8pm#GODDDDD#BETH MAYYYYYYYY#AAAAGHHHH#dndads#dungeons and daddies#trudy trout#the peachyville horror#tph#the peachyville horror spoilers#dndads spoilers#dungeons and daddies s3
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my words arent coming out right enough to write but im having a swell evening thanks for asking. dont mind the blood on the floor thats just love im in love.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#i guess?#chilaios#this isnt even all of it. i have more pictures. and i have many words to say about ALL of them.#but its 8pm i cant be coherent#this was meant to be a silly haha red string board meme but i got so excited about the text that i. well this happened#which only proves my point i suppose#also ive been listening to under my skin by jukebox the ghost this entire time since it came on randomly and it fit too well
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i hope we kiss goodnight ♪
#posting this at october midnight (8pm)#it's been dark for long enough that i feel like i ought to be asleep but i have to stay conscious for 1.5h still#anyway. time to take nora for her evening walk that will wake me up a bit#warrior of light#Ardbert#fanart#speedpaint#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV
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Me waiting (im)patiently for the next chapter:
LMFAOOO SOON I SWEAR!!🧎♀️🙏��💖 IM TRYING TO AIM FOR SOMETIME THIS WEEKEND fine print: which can be as late as sunday at 11:59pm EST BAHAHA but im already 11.8k words in and i havent even gotten halfway thru what was written in my outline for the chap so uhhhh either the chap is gonna cut off at a jarring moment OR its gonna be like 30k words at this rate (more likely) bc theres a part i want to end it on and im VERY STUBBORN about ending it there😤but maybe i can wrangle it to around the 20k word mark still we'll see BUT IM GLAD UR LOOKIN FORWARD TO IT!!😇
#ask#i also might end up posting the chap early without any art if i cant get around to it and then make the tumblr post a few days later#when i have time to draw somethin for the chap#BUT WELL SEE#also dragons dogma 2 is coming out tomorrow at 8pm for me oh god i swear ill still try and work on the chap even with that distraction#i made clora and seb in it hehehe prepare for screenshots
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They only fetishize queer people. Especially our pain. We are not real, entire human beings to them. The celebrate the straight couples - their relationship, intimacy n all; fetishize the bodies of queer men; n fetishize the idea of queer women.
The extent to which they tolerate our sexuality is the short snippets in promo clips. They only want to exploit our online engagement. Ironically our viewership might be bringing in the ad buyers who r trying to erase us.
They try to erase the specificity of the "queer" part, but only use the pain, the convenient stereotypes, the virtue-signaling part to gain brownie points n for good drama. They joke about cultural appropriation n did exactly that during the pride episode with the straight couple's proposal. Same-sex marriage. What are you talking about? It's about queer hate n straight allyship.
They capitalize on the "women" part, to further fetishize our biology. So if it's 2 women in a relationship - it's double the drama about making babies, bad genes, n jokes about hormones n our body parts. But it's 2 women, how can they possibly manage w/o "big, strong, sensitive", straight men with good genes to contribute n overflowing empathy to deal with them being emotional n hormonal?
It's 5b, it's pride, it's the burning man all over again. First they elevate Jack, now Beckett. Pride was about cheating queer men n high queer woman. An intimate scene of Marina must be minimized n hidden among the others' or edited to death in a montage. It's as scary as a man burning to death.
The fact that they haven't even shared a proper kiss this season through any joyful or emotional moment... They just come up with more ways to obscure the kiss, if any. Bad lighting, bad angles n bad editing are prerequisites. They r also written into the script.
Of course they make an important life decision in the NICU, n it's completely inappropriate for a married w|w to share a quick kiss - which we saw via the back of their heads. Unlike a gay man having sex with an ex at the funeral of the ex's dad - while cheating on his partner - twice. Perfectly lit with no obstructions of course.
Even in their ugly kitchen they're assigned, with a perfectly good scene setup, nope. Too brightly lit for queer woman - save it for a long morning kiss b/w gay men in their nice kitchen.
Emotional scene about Carina's fertility issues and reciprocal IVF - okay a kiss allowed grudgingly - but just 0.5 sec. Their lips touched. You get the idea. Why are you fans so demanding? Time is reserved for the 101th proposal of the straight couple n their extended kisses. A proper Marina love scene? You perverts. More explicit sex scenes b/w straight couples are needed.
I don't want to rehash about Jack. I've said plenty about Beckett. Just that men's mistakes are dismissed and minimized. It is not enough to show every painful step of Maya apologizing and making amends. Maya and Carina must also be used to make the audience sympathize with Jack and Beckett. It is a deliberate yet thoughtless choice to use Carina's SA trauma to sympathize with Jack. Just as it is to use Maya's family trauma to sympathize with Beckett. Esp the context of the shot. It is esp violating. They might as well just get Jack to show up for this. They never really got it, did they?
However one chooses to justify these choices, it's not only unnec but wrong to include the men. Esp not Beckett - the man who bullied her for months till her breakdown. Even if he never apologized and they insist on using Maya's pain to make him look good in his redemption arc, idc at this point, but this is just not the time.
If it must be a man, get Travis. Make it a conversation b/w queer people, about queer hate, about their families. Travis sympathizing with Maya, about a journey he wouldn't know about. Way better than jokes on hormones with the guys. A cheap way to get a laugh at an arduous process. I thought we left 5b n mocking queer women behind.
It could have been one beautiful scene with Andy and Vic. They haven't had a proper one since s1 & 2. They would have understood about Mason, if not for their long friendship, there's 703. It could have been about the pain women go thru - Andy and Vic about their abortions or Maya about experiencing what Carina underwent... The show really isn't big on female camaraderie.
But it should really be Carina. Among all the scenes of Carina in the station bathroom - which have been a lot - this is probably the most appropriate if they must set it there. Definitely more so that her own insemination, which was ridiculous.
These are moments that they should only share with each other, privately n intimately. These precious moments that are dwindling - few n short to begin with. It's not irl, it's one scene in an ensemble show. They sure could have romanticized this. It doesn't even have to be half as dramatic as a regular scene of their golden couple. D & S will create magic.
Esp in this episode, there's so much to unpack. With everything they've been thru on their own, the ending could have been about them at home, checking in n sharing their day. Talking about the lawsuit, the hate on queers, their brothers, the boundaries they had to set with their families... Doing the trigger shot together - esp after their emotional scene in 705 n to cap off the morning scene. A perfect setup for their emotional n physical intimacy.
But of course it didn't happen. Other important moments in their lives about their new home n new baby were also short parts of wordless montages. They are even less important than scenes of the others having drinks n sex.
Queer women just don't matter.
#sorry if i sound too negative or snarky#i'm quite done being diplomatic#i try not to rant cos usually i start it gets long#i'm just really tired#with the string of cancellations#n this last season#n this is what we're getting#this is not about my hate#it's about their hate of us#I really tried to be positive n happy about the show in general#n the good scenes the other characters get#believing marina will get their turn#but the bias against queer women is just so blatant#we're only asking to be treated fairly#i'm too tired to try to rationalize n defend their choices anymore#even with paige - travis's sl is filled with neg stereotypes#if they had a queer woman as showrunner this season#maybe it'll be slightly better#maybe she can insist that the nuances matter#but i think there's sth else happening bts#how is 10pm slot worse than 8pm...#not on twitter#but if there's backlash#marina fans will be blamed#we should be grateful for whatever?#station 19 comments#station 19
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63 colours, 5,217 stitches and 50 hours of my life later …
And the photo it was based off of
#mischief movie night#mischief comedy#mischief theatre#jonathan sayer#nancy zamit#henry lewis#matt cavendish#charlie russell#ellie morris#Richard baker#susan harrison#I finished this at 7:15pm in the lobby of the theatre#just in time for the final show of the run to begin at 8pm#need to find a not-creepy way to phrase that everyone except Charlie and Ellie have signed it so I need to meet them at some point#and ask them to sign it too#it’s getting framed and going up on my stairs#I have had a lot of six hour bus rides to fill this summer thanks to my obsession with this show#I may or may not have started my next cross stitch already#it’s even bigger and is based on the goes wrong show
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tlc ship weeks - change the universe (arcane universe)
enforcer Jacin and maybe councilor Winter
umm so I hate this. like it took me so long and for what 😭. like I'm posting this now and I will try my best to forget it exists 🙏. oh and I now the picture is bad but my phone is shit and I don't feel like taking more lol
#i know this might be late for you guys but here its still august 3rd#its not even 8pm yet#tlc ship weeks 2024#tlc#the lunar chronicles#lunar chronicles#thelunarchronicles#marissa meyer#tlc tag#winter hayle#winter blackburn#winter hayle blackburn#jacin clay#jacinter#arcane au#ema blackburn draws#ema blackburn drawing
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belated birthday edit for my favorite fishy boy 🫶🫶🫶
#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY TIL LIKE 8PM YESTERDAY IM A FAKE FAN 😭😭😭#luca 2021#luca paguro#pixar luca#disney luca#edit#video edit#luca disney#luca
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2 days of social obligations and i'm ready to shatter into 1000 pieces
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can mcr post that third trailer
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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Fun Fact: I named this file "if i had a wiggly for every time joey played a villain consumed by magic powers beyond their comprehension expressed through green light i'd have way more wigglys than anyone can handle but its weird that it happened twice" because I couldn't get it out of my head so welcome back to art that's specifically funny to only me and combine it with "I'll just do a quick simple drawing" that goes a bit out of hand anyway....eh it happens
#zkretchy#art#hatchetverse#black friday#nightmare time 2#ezekiel#i still can't believe that is a canon episode#to be fair-it's hatchetfield-anything can happen#wilbur cross#also hi this came to me at fucking 1am last night so i got 4 hours of sleep#not even bc my brain stayed awake#so i basically only fiddled with some details now (8pm the other day AFTER a nap after work...sorry to myself)#anyhow for someone who doesn't love green i sure like these bright green lighting scenarios while the rest is pitch black darkness#starkid
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