#8pm

[lorenzonuti]

-- Its strictly forbidden to listen to music after 7:37 pm --

[indeedgoodman]

act ii: date @ 8 - 4batz

[bitegore]

this fucking tummy ache is making it so fucking hard to fucking go to sleep

[sweetdreamsjeff]

Jeff Buckley Meltdown Festival 1995 (full show)

Meltdown Festival Program 23 June - 1 July 1995 (England) Saturday 1 July Queen Elizabeth Hall 8pm

THE SONG Part 3 Glad to be Unhappy

-June Tabor -Elvis Costello -Jeff Buckley -Steve Nieve -Marc Ribot

... "The tone of Part 3 is defined by the Rodgers and Hart song Glad to be Unhappy, epitomising the beautiful melancholy of this final set".

1. The Boy With The Thorn In His Side 2. Grace 3. Corpus Christi Carol 4. Dido's Lament

Ian Bolton, violin Philip Shepard, cello Catherine Edwards, piano

Jeff played the last day of the festival.

Note: I believe they forgot to include the song The Other Woman, a Nina Simone cover.

[raytm]

lemme tell u reading for like seven hours straight will make u very tired

[spankystokes]

Plastic Empire presents: Jimmy "Pinoy" edition vinyl figure release from 8PM! http://dlvr.it/T87Mzs

[asbraveasstylinson]

I'm so ready and yet so NERVOUS. I can work and watch 9-1-1 in real time because of the unlimited screen provided. Not sure if that's good for my health and my co working interpretations of me but whatever.

We all watching it!

[w3bb-www-com]

así que. . .

gente mañana

[moodboardmix]

Maxwell Fraser (14 June 1957 – 23 December 2022)

Faithless, which formed in 1995, comprised core members Rollo, Sister Bliss and Maxwell Fraser Aka Maxi Jazz.

Their first album, Reverence, was released in 1996 and the singles Insomnia and Salva Mea each sold more than a million copies.

Their second studio album, Sunday 8PM, released in 1998, featured the global hit God Is A DJ and cemented the group’s standing as a major musical force.

He was a brilliant lyricist, DJ, Buddhist, a magnificent stage presence, car lover, endless talker, beautiful person, moral compass, genius, dance music’s poet”

Thoughts with his family and friends RIP

Rest in Power Maxi Jazz!

Faithless - Reverence (Official Video)

[inthemuckandthemire]

[goldenguillotines]

I'll be careful, Kou, I promise! Though if anything happened, would you put a bandaid on for me? <3

"I would.. but that doesn't mean to go get bit~"

"I'll have my eye on you."

->He giggles.. Moving to press his classes higher on his face.

[nomaishuttle]

at da libraryy

[silentmassacres]

fri, nov 15

care, perversion, and rot

i just typed out an entire post and it decided to delete itself while uploading, lovely. this only adds to me being overwhelmed and, quite frankly, i do not have the time to re-type it, but here we are. incredibly upset because i cannot regulate myself this week. i'm upset because i now sound ingenuine as these are not the words i'd originally used, but instead a poor imitation. i hate this app sometimes.

of course, the moment i go to finish this post, the original posts. i'm posting this one too. it's the same thoughts, just different words. maybe it's important.

—

i've tried for a long time to remain independent, but unfortunately i can't help yearning for the ability to not do so. i'm sitting naked on the bathroom floor, knowing i need to change, yet struggling to. i know it'd be easier if i had someone here to help or, at the very least, encourage me. it makes me feel needy to require help, despite the very present reality of being disabled and very mentally ill in a way that makes me need it sometimes. every now and again, i'm able to surpass that anxiety, but it always comes back in the end.

i'll entertain and comfort myself with ideas of being taken care of, knowing i'd ruin it for myself.

—

and so, with that, i remain on the floor. i have this habit of contorting my body in odd ways — it makes me feel like art. my discomfort with my body makes this feel like a safer option. at the end of the day, it really is dissociation — my preference of viewing my body as an art form rather than the mass of flesh it is.

it makes me feel beautiful sometimes. maybe not in a way that i feel, but in a way in which i know somebody would regard me as beautiful. i wish there was somebody there to capture my image, or at least bear witness. but there isn't, so i remain on the floor, once again. i'll let the camera timer on my phone watch my contort my body just to feel like something.

—

as of late, i've found myself looking at a lot of figure studies of women's bodies. a lot of them look like me, so it's comforting in it's own way. it brings me some sort of comfort to view my form as something artistic, even if that means dehumanizing myself in the process.

i hold a lot of shame about it, secretly. i worry that i'll be made out as this predatory pervert, because it seems oddly easy for people to do that to me. i don't... fully understand why, given my repeated victimhood, but i guess it's just another thing my lack of a memory has taken from me.

i try not to think about it too much. the level of guilt it fills me with makes me nauseous and beyond self loathing

—

i wish i could say it started in middle school. people started saying it in middle school, because it's easy to accuse the queer freak of staring at the asses of their classmates (i still feel disgusted with myself for even accidentally looking in that direction).

i almost mentioned ricky before. i spent a lot of time with misplaced malice towards him. i realize now that he's not the one who hurt me, and it predates him. we were the same, really. i'd almost wonder why he did the things he did, but i don't even know what the case was for me. maybe none of it was real, and i was just born like this — somehow, fundamentally messed up.

i'd say i wish i could remember, but i can never tell which option is worse.

i know now that he didn't hurt me; not in that way, at least. i have to wonder why we hurt each other in the way we did. maybe it was all in good fun, maybe i got some sort of sick satisfaction from it. the thought makes me feel disgusted with myself, even if i know it was the same for him.

it's scary to think about, that young. i have to think about how normal it was and how i didn't see an issue. i know it was noticed, but i can't ever recall if anything was done about it. everybody was so hung up on my social issues that everything else went neglected. my mom knew, or at least noticed. i remember that much.

—

i'm half-convinced my body may just give out on me. i've been in a lot more pain lately. maybe it's not that bad, i can never tell. i'm always in pain, but it's shifted from a dull ache to something sharper. i'm sure it's nothing serious, i just wish i could feel that level of confidence regarding the random red dot that appeared on my chest. i really do hope it's nothing.

i'm beyond exhaustion, and my lack of sleep doesn't help. i feel like i'm dead or dying sometimes. the pain doesn't help, because it almost solidifies the feeling that i'm rotting internally. my head feels fuzzy but i have an assignment due in a few hours. i wish i could sleep for a few days straight with no responsibilities.

—

my leg looks better. i guess it wasn't awful in the first place. it was, sort of, but it was just the one alone. it scared me a lot when it first happened, yet i continue to get urges. i'm worried that they're going to worsen, that there's going to be a new standard. i don't want to. i don't want to hurt myself, not that badly. it scares me a lot.

i don't think i should be discussing this. i don't think anybody will see this (and if they do, it's my own damn fault), and i feel the need to say something. if i do discuss it with anyone, i'd want to talk about it with him, because i know he'd understand and he'd be caring and he wouldn't chastise me for it. maybe that's. rude to others, for me to say that. i know he worries, but i don't feel as though i overwhelm him with those feelings. and i know he'd get it.

i don't think i will say anything. i'd like to keep this to myself. i'm just primarily concerned with my habits worsening

[gallerynamba]

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[lebaised]

[thehunterclassic]

i love your url

Thanks? I'm not really into TheHunter anymore, but it's a "canon" url, so i guess i'll keep it