#but it's mostly just the dorks being dorks
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#have i mentioned that theyre also extremely pretty in that scene?
Oh my god and how. Dear heaven. Holy shit.
But yeah no, I'm with you. I've also been pondering the implications of it - particularly Caracalla's statement, because honestly Geta's just mostly being a paranoid dork. Like there's a lot going on in there but it's less... I guess heavy implications than can be drawn from Caracalla. Yes, he was absolutely high off his ass and that'll impact his memory. But is it there in the narrative for that, or to be the first indicator of what's going on with his mental state? Because the way that Geta looks at him after is the same way he looks at him at the party itself - it's that same death stare of fucking hell I can't believe we're related you are the worst disappointment I ever loved, and then he goes on to be completely useless himself, but it's just that, when you combine it with what he says much later; "every day it gets worse."
It has, in fact, gotten worse every day. It's, what, four days? Three? From this scene to their last scene together. There's a lot to unpack in that when it comes to Caracalla specifically.
Meanwhile, yeah. The throwback also to the fact that Geta doesn't know the epics, and what that means for them along with the fact that they also don't know the first thing about... anything else? Were these two raised in a sparkling barrel? They're the imperial heirs of a general and they don't even know how to hold a sword?? I can't make sense of what their upbringing was supposed to be. Literally keep coming back to the phrase raised by wolves and that seems very in your face as far as symbolism goes, along with the choice to make them twins to begin with.
As an off thing, but Caracalla's doing the same tongue thing in this scene as he's doing in the OTHER scene where Geta's giving him the scalding look of disapproval:
I know this because I have both of the pictures printed on my wall and I'm looking at them right now. I'm going to try really hard not to go on a tangent about memory/recollection and how certain things like sensations or scents or sounds can trigger it, and instead leave you with this vague reference that - oh, for fuck's sake. He's probably doing this in both scenes because he's thinking back to the party when Geta asks him, and despite putting himself in that same body/mental space as far as he can he fails to recall it anyway, at which point he just states that he doesn't give a shit and leaves.
It's really ambiguous if that's really just him deciding it doesn't matter or if it's deeper. I hate that it probably is deeper, because this scene is hilarious.
Idk what the feeling is or how to describe it - but I have just like, this feeling in my chest everytime that I watch the scene where Lucius is in the arena for the first time and Geta's like "it's the poet isn't it?" And Caracalla's like "I can't remember, it's all a blur," and then Geta goes on to try and recite poetry only to have forgotten parts of it.
Like I can't currently put my finger on it - or what part of the scene gives me what specific emotion, but I do know that it stirs something in me.
#I just love them so much your honour#they deserved happiness#not for being the huge pains in the ass that they were but all that they didn't get to be#if they HADN'T been raised in a sparkling barrel - if they'd been given any proper guidance and love in their childhoods#they wouldn't have turned out so fucking dysfunctional.#the whole of Gladiator II is the fault of Septimius Severus first and Macrinus second#gladiator
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Can you please draw Edgar and Johnny stargazing or something like that
Day 8 - Stargazing
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Nny#Edgar#I actually went and looked up what constellations are most visible around this time of year lol#I've never gone looking for Pegasus :0 I wonder how much we can see from here#Gotta be a clear night for it! Chilly#So cold that their noses have gone red haha - they're all bundled up but that car hood has to be freezing#I super didn't want to draw a car so I mostly cheated lol âȘ It's close enough!#I could've drawn them on a late-night picnic I guess but them laying on the hood of the car is just the Most Correct y'know?#They're gonna be frozen solid once they're done lol#Oh no however will they warm up lol#That said they're not even touching while sitting out here haha âȘ Nny doesn't like it! His arm is fully over his waist!#Did Nny have the beanie or did he borrow it? Who's to say#Edgar would have a matching scarf to go with his favourite shirt tho he's a dork like that <3#Same reason he'd know which constellation Nny's pointing at like that - bookish nerd â„#Gosh this one was close to being posted outside of the usual 2:30 time! Hopefully that won't be a theme#Wish me luck â«
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persona 4 is the best game ever made i am so fucking obsessed with it. have some more dumb drawings.
#puppy draws#persona#persona 4#p4#yu narukami#teddie#teddie p4#rise kujikawa#yosuke hanamura#souyo#the souyo is brought to you by me maxing his social link out the other day#the yosuke romance mod's changes/additions to his rank 9 -> rank 10 hangout are so precious i love these dorks#for the record i like just started naoto's dungeon but also i do have spoilers for the record mostly for bigger plot points#i love rise idk why people dislike her. she's silly. she and kotone should be besties i think#also teddie's human form being a white boy twink is so funny to me. why is he like that /pos teddie's great#he's in my top 5 but actually i don't have a top 5 i just have a top 4. that being yosuke teddie marie and nanako in. some order idk-#yosuke's def my favorite he's a cringey boyfail but he's my cringey boyfail <3
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Actually thinking about how how much Elrond means to me as a biracial woman and also how much I love that he identifies with the line of Luthien - aka mixed heritage and how sometimes Iâm so sad about the âoh heâs so exotic and eldritchâ takes because it feels like (maybe unfairly) itâs a âoh look at the freaky biracialâ thing a lot of the time (not always but).
(Half inspired by an @verecunda post)
(Also @chaos-of-the-abyss post)
#listen i actually hate the âoooh creepy cryptid pedhrelâ headcanons tbh#(mostly also i just kind of also hate the âoh elrond hates his parents familyâ because like no)#(also i will never forgive the jackson movies for that men are weak line)#my elrond feels#lil the tolkien dork#also the elrond being rude to guests and lying to his daughter because THAT IS NOT ELROND#also the takes on biracial identity are UGH#the rare instance of lil rantage#if people are nasty on this post I willâŠtbh i will cry and delete it#(Iâm not saying this is universally the case or people are evil for having eldritch headcanons/should be cancelled#it just personally made me go :/
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ROTATES THIS IN MY MIND FOREVER <:]
#đșïžđ„ zooble đ„đșïž#shoutout to whoever left this on my strawpage. printing it out and eating it <3#I love to imagine Zooble lovingly calling me a dork#they don't use a lot of pet names for me besides babe but the only other one they use on me is dork#it's mostly reserved for when we're being silly together. sometimes they just say it to catch me off guard and make me laugh#< they can get silly sometimes. I'm the only one who gets to see this side of them :3
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Iâm video calling with a long time friend on here today and Iâm so excited and nervous, I really gotta make myself look so cute that they get hard as soon as they answer me :/
#rae rambles#Iâm actually just being a dork Iâm so insanely excited to call them#and also turn them on but mostly call them!#if youâre seeing this before our call btw uh No You Arenât
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So maybe I'm the problem after all
#you were WARNED annoying time starts now#but real talk i was so fed up bc all ace attorney content was trying SOO hard to be sexy#NEWSFLASH: lawyers are UNSEXY DORKS. that's what makes them FUN#and i was moodily staring into space being like nobody can think of anything else to do with these characters but have them make out?!#and i was like what's the most unsexy thing i could make them do. and then bam. it came to me. colonoscopy.#in order to get a colonoscopy you need someone to stay in the waiting room the whole time they can't just come pick you up#as an adult without a family and without a partner... what do u do in that situation. Who can u call.#having someone who cares enough about you to drive you#wait for two hours#and kindly not mention the tubes that will be stuck into u in unfortunate places#that is an intimacy that transcends human speech#but mostly i think its funny#ace attorney#laurelblahblah comic#comics
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Alright! Poll's over! I'm gonna be annoying about the responses now!
First thing's first: Thank you to the 247 of you that understood the assignment! Those of you that picked 'straight' will need to take remedial courses to save yourself from a failing grade.
Now I'm gonna talk tags (and the one reply):
Category 1 (Understood the assignment and went for extra credit):
Not only are yall SO correct, you were also funny about it! 10 extra points to you all!
Category 2 (There's only 10 answer options guys. . .):
This was as nuanced as I could get with the amount of options I had while still being inclusive of other sexuality options. I'm not gonna do a whole bracket for this; It was just supposed to be a funny little vague at the piratepolls person who turned out to be an asshole trying to stir the pot.
(I don't care what their intentions were or might have been. It got picked up and passed around by The Usual Suspects, the answer choices they gave were biased and had LESS nuance, and with a DRAMATIC lead on the option that's a significant point of contention in the fandom they made a 'joke' about the winning option being canon despite it only being an interpretation and a poor one at that. I'm not fighting anyone on the 'Izzy is homophobic' interpretation anymore. You're wrong. Argue with the wall.)
I thought emotional repression was implied in all of the 'sexually repressed' options, if I'm being honest. The reason I made a distinction in the 'and proud' group is because I think he can be proud of his sexuality but still be emotionally repressed but I also think there's emotional repression inherent in sexual repression.
The 'just kind of a dick' option isn't meant to imply that he's not being a dick when he's emotionally/sexually repressed, either, just that those aren't necessarily the reason for him being a dick.
Category 3 (Failed the assignment):
(There's more I disagree with from this response but this bit is the part I have an actual problem with.)
Define 'toxic masculinity'. Now do it in a way that doesn't include behaviors and attitudes that nearly everyone in the show has had at some point.
Show me David, or ANY of the cast/crew talking about toxic masculinity and calling attention to Izzy, specifically. Or to the concept of piracy which Izzy (and Ed and Fang and Ivan and Spanish Jackie and the crew of the Revenge, until Stede comes along) adheres to.
I'm not gonna argue here. I'm tired. I've got some pretty gnarly brain fog going on. I just don't want to. I just want you to think about what kind of show this would be if the main character is trying to escape to a world where Izzy's ideals (and worse, he doesn't act nearly as bad towards the crew as it's implied Benjamin Hornigold did) are the norm, but those ideals are, allegedly, inherently bad and toxic. What a show where the main love interest (and potential main character of the second season) wanted out of that life, because he was BORED of it, would imply about those supposed ideals.
The great thing about this show is that none of the characters are JUST narrative devices. They're CHARACTERS. They have an interior to them that informs their choices. We can argue til the sun comes up about why, specifically, Izzy hates Stede, but there's no way to make the reason be 'because Stede is gay' that doesn't diminish who STEDE is as a character, let alone Izzy as a queer man himself (he's queer, argue with the wall).
#the dork is being a dork#izzy hands#the izcourse#it is interesting to see the different responses though#the good faith ones at least#i had honestly expected more votes for the aroace options#i'm not gonna @ or link the people the tags (or reply) came from#mostly because this is really just me commenting on them and not really wanting a discussion#but also because idk if people might be Weird at them#i don't want that#even for the person i vehemently disagreed with#i was gonna just reblog the original post so this wouldn't show up in the tags except on my blog#but tumblr didn't want to let me reblog it for some reason?#'functional website' đ
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Oh I finally got to the actual corpse care in my ygo fic today [only took me 6K to do so augh] so HOPEFULLY I will have this fucking thing finished this month but I make no promises we all know what my schedule is like [nonexistent]
#personal#I've also been writing kakairu snippets on the side#some of them are smut but it's mostly just them being dorks together lol#might do a full fic for them when this is finished who knows
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FRICK. OF COURSE THERE'S A HUGE CLIFFHANGER. WHAT WAS I EVEN EXPECTING
Guh. okay. so... Book 3 has some... unfortunate choices if you squint too hard at it--my disappointment at the RainWings really being as lazy and careless as they'd been rumored to be is immeasurable--but from a character standpoint this installment was fantastic, and the plot has taken a TURN with this secret magic wormhole thing the NightWings have going on. Seriously what the heck. And here I thought I had at least a little bit of a read on what the NightWings were really like behind all the posturing and propaganda, but I have absolutely no idea why they would be helping Blister with the war, or living in a volcano, or... eating rotten carrion??? What?????
Next book is gonna be WILD
#Tyto reads WoF#I mean I can guess that the volcano is the remotest most hostile-to-outsiders spot they could find for a fortress#but is that really where they LIVE? like ALL OF THEM???#anyway yeah just not gonna think too hard about the unfortunate optics of#the jungle tribe being mostly useless illiterate layabouts who can't even be bothered to count their own eggs#and instead let's just enjoy the bounty of amazing new characters this book introduced#Kinkajou is perfect and I would die for her. her girlfriend Tamarin is also perfect and I would also die for her.#Mangrove makes my heart hurt and I hope we get to see him tearfully reunite with Orchid#and ofc I am prepared for epic (slow burn!?) Deathbringer redemption. let's Zevran Arainai-ify this smarmy dork and get Glory a goth bf
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#i carried a printout of this around with me in my bag as a teenager bc i was a big dork#to be clear it was the pumpkins of whom i was such a fan and not billy specifically#besides being a terribly obnoxious cringelord going through a christian phase he was also terrifically up his own ass about his bad poetry#and he was always being a dick about/to people who use drugs which is a very bad look imo so i was not exactly a billy fan#so i don't know why this stupid thing was so important to me#i think i was grieving the fact that all my favorite bands broke up before i was old enough to see them live but who knows#tbh i think teenage reasoning is mostly a mystery to everyone. no one can explain their thought process from age 15.#even current 15 year olds seem to be pretty clueless and generally at the mercy of their own brains#when i think of being 15 i recall a lot of chaos and confusion and a vague but constant rage toward everything in general#but picses iscariot does rock. those songs hold up and so does gish. just sayin.#this has been a boring post about some shit i liked too much as a teenager that i bet you wish you'd just ignored at this point#follow for more boring content about my personal life likely to make you reevaluate the ways in which you spend your time#pastlife#smashing pumpkins
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@maingoes created a tag game, here is the description:
"Topic is covers of books that definitely changed your brain on some sort of minuscule but permanent level or that you think your childhood experience wouldâve have been different without (longest title of a tag game ever I know) my only 2 rules are u should have read the book before age 10 and you cannot include the HP series"
Here are my books:
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I shall tag @j-purplesunsets-rainydays @jesperfaheygf @cancara @mostlykind @captainjanegay @holdingontozouis and anyone else who sees this and wants to do this! Also pls do not do if you do not wanna â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
#about me#hello time for me to overshare in the tags you are welcome once again#so elmer i just always loved because colourful elephant ooo#story about how being different is ok ooo#the rainbow magic fairies. genuinely were like my whole world as a little kid i was obsessed#i used to colour in the pages and one time i coloured in a picture and gave it to my teacher as a present lmao#i still have an edition of the seven rainbow fairies that i got gifted as a young kid#thats why i chose that specific pic#i think my fav was maybe izzy? which lmao cause look at me now#i loved all of them though honestly#dork diaries again i used to colour in all the pictures and i think thats like the first proper books i can remember buying and actively#keeping up with as new books came out#mr men i used to love and still love like t shirts and stuff of. we never actually owned many of the books though because tbh they are#expensive but yeah lmao. i even kept my old lightswitch that has two of the characters on it.#biff chip and kipper were books used to learn how to read but i do remember really liking them and the magic key is the one i remember most#and FINALLY#Where's spot i mostly added because i used to go to the library a lot as a kid and every single time id pick up that book and any other#that had any sort of interactive element tbh. so i added that one more because it reminded me of like when i first went to the library#so ja : D
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early nsync is so funny to me because itâs so obvious their original company wanted them to just fit into the generic boyband image but,,,itâs nsync,,,that image really doesnât suit them well imo and they end up looking like dorks a majority of the time than whatever the hell they intended
#maybe because i am aroace but they do not come#across as cool hot whatever guys instead they are just some dorksâŠ#referring to that like mostly a lot of their 90s content#or when they were under shady management#their clothes just come across as âhello how do u do fellow kidsâ#which tbf justin and lance were still teens at the time#but still the outfits to me at least imo just come across#as like âwear this because it makes you look cool and youthfulâ#but they just look so goofy instead đđđ#early 00s nsync has a way better image imo#they look more comfortable in their newer image#and while the outfits you can argue are still goofy#i think itâs more fun and suits them better#and doesnât come across as trying to be cool or smth??#if that makes sense idk đ
#though while i look back it is just goofy majority of the time#early nsync also kind of lowkey makes me uncomfortable in a way if that makes sense#the images i am referring to are like the ones they are shirtless or whatever and itâs just ????#weird imo esp with justin and lance being minors like why are you#taking pictures of minors like that đ#and yeah jc chris and joey were of age by that point#itâs still uncomfy to me and even those more âseriousâ pics#from shady company still just looks like dorks to me like i canât take them seriously i am sorry#bluebell talks
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Doing My Part!
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The radfem fandom is dying. Post about your blorbos to make it die faster
#blorbos blorbos#look i just made these dorks some pride graphics anyway why not take the opportunity to blorbo post#irony is that the original TERF post is complaining about blorbos being presumably mostly about guy characters#half of these blorbos are girls and only one them is a boy lmao#extra hilarious since i'm trying to use Rhimn's matriarchy to deconstruct âwomen = betterâ rhetoric and also gender essentialism generally
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Frosted Brushes
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leon kennedy x fem!reader
summary: an ill-timed snowstorm leaves you snowed in with a less than enthusiastic federal agent.
cw: nsfw (18+) - mdni!!, smut, bestfriend's older brother!leon, kissing, oral sex, face-sitting, vaginal fingering, p in v, spanking, mild choking
wc: 5.5k
a/n: i know i promised blurred lines pt2 (it's coming) but i just loveee the snowed in trope. also leon's biceps - i love his biceps <3
also on ao3!
Getting snowed in wasn't exactly on your bucket list.Â
Itâd been a mistake, your best friend had said, her voice anxious and apologetic on the phone as sheâd tried to make up for the fact that sheâd left you stranded here, in the middle of nowhere in a cabin that she had booked. You were only meant to stay here over the week of Christmas and fly back the next, but sheâd conveniently forgotten to book tickets for both you and Leon. Itâd been too late by then, a vicious snow storm rolling in and ruining all your chances of trying to leave.
Youâd stared out the windows for a concerning amount of time, mourning the loss of your upcoming paychecks and not being able to sleep in your own bed. Outside, the snow was packed in tight and youâd been half-tempted to just grab the snow shovel and clear a path for yourself, but the howling wind coupled with the freezing temperature didnât seem to agree with your plans. The only thing saving you from this woeful situation was the generator that was still up and running.Â
The federal agent currently lounging on the couch wasnât helping either. Youâd known Leon since you were children, mostly seeing him around the house when youâd come over to play with your best friend. He had kept to himself all those years ago, shooting you fleeting glances and berating you when youâd gotten too loud playing.
Boredom makes your temples throb and the thought of reading through another book makes you feel nauseous, so you settle on approaching Leon, flopping down on the other end with a heavy sigh.
âHey,â you say, your feet nudging his thigh, âcanât you call up one of your buddies and have âem pick us up?â
âThatâs not how it works,â Leon sighs, his eyes flitting down to stare irritatedly at your fluffy sock covered feet.
âWhat good is being a federal agent then?â you drawl, head tipping back over the armrest.
Leon rolls his eyes, shoving your feet away. You grumble, tucking your feet back under you before scooting forward to peer at whatever work on his laptop screen.
âClassified,â Leon says shortly, turning the screen away from you.
âSeriously, Leon?â you say, crossing your arms over your chest. âItâs not like Iâm going to leak government secrets to a foreign enemy.â
âYou might ,â Leon grits out, sending you a glare as you try to twist your body to take another look.Â
âMaybe I should be flattered that you think me capable of treason.â
Leon snorts, his eyes glancing over towards you again. âYou wouldnât last a day in the field, dork. Most likely end up getting yourself killed, or maybe even blown up.â
You glare at him, shifting again, making sure to dig your feet into his thigh a little harder as you roll over onto your side on the couch. Leon lets out a low hiss, growing irritated with your petulant behavior. He doesnât shove your feet away like before so you settle on staying in that position, eyes slipping shut. A tiny sprig of hope unfurls inside of you; maybe if you tried hard enough, youâd be able to sleep the entire snowstorm away.
The weather doesnât seem to let up, the wind howling outside, a chill beginning to creep into the cabin. You huff out an exasperated breath, eyes peeking open to sneak a glance at Leon. He looks engrossed in whatever heâs doing, fingers tapping against the keyboard, his brows drawn together.
Perhaps youâd struck out, getting stuck here with Leon. Sure, the federal agent stuff was mildly interesting, but he was more like a silent, grumpy lump. It sort of helped that he had a nice face, even if just to stare at.Â
ââm cold,â you mumble, sock-clad toes trying to worm under his thighs, seeking out his warmth.
âStop complaining,â Leon grouses, nudging your legs away with his hand.
âYouâre so mean,â you shoot back, eyes narrowing. âIs it because you got stuck with a desk job?â
Leon glares at you, his touch growing rougher as he grabs your ankle and throws your leg away from him. A yelp escapes you, body bending awkwardly before you straighten yourself up, curling up away from him.
âIâm a field agent,â Leon hisses, snapping his laptop shut.
You shoot him an unimpressed look, eyes flitting over him. âI donât see a gun.â
âYeah and itâs a good thing I didnât bring it, because I would shoot you if I had the chance.â
A sharp scoff leaves you, arms crossing over your chest as you stand up. âYouâre such a piece of sh-â
A loud screeching noise cuts you off, your brows furrowing as you glance towards the direction the sound was coming from. It doesnât take long to figure out whatâs happened when the lights in the cabin go out after a moment, the interior lit up by the flickering embers of the hearth.Â
âGreat,â Leon murmurs, standing up and walking towards the large windows, his eyes landing on the generator, âitâs probably frozen.â
You trail after him, a frown pulling at your lips as you stare out at the snowy tundra surrounding you in every direction.
âIs there no way to fix it?â you ask, fingers pressing up against the window.
âMaybe if we got rid of the snow,â Leon sighs, his hand running through his hair, âbut the cold would probably just make it freeze up again.â
âTime to get shovelling,â you murmur, peering up at Leon.
Leonâs gaze flicks towards you, his lips thinning. âIâm not going out there.â
âWhat?â you ask snappily, irritation prickling across your skin, âwhy not?â
âBecause Iâll freeze to death,â he retorts, âdidnât you watch the weather report?â
You stare at him, eye twitching at his refusal. At this rate, both of you would freeze to death if you werenât able to get the generator up and running. You didnât particularly trust the insulation either, although there was enough wood stocked in the spare room to maybe get you through the rest of the nights here.
âSo what are you suggesting?â you ask, âthat I go out and do it?â
âIf youâre desperate enough,â he mutters under his breath.
âYouâre the man!â you protest. âShouldnât you like protect me or something?â
Leon scoffs, his arms crossing over his chest as he stares down at you derisively. âYouâre on your own, pipsqueak. Each man for themselves.â
âOh, fuck you,â you snarl, stomping over to the door and yanking a jacket off of its hook. You shrug it on angrily, zipping it up tight before wrapping a scarf around your neck. âYouâre pathetic, Leon!â
You grab the snow shovel, moving to open the door, only for it to not budge. Thereâs a moment of silence and you donât dare look back at Leon. Setting the snow shovel down, you tug at the door handle, yanking hard.Â
âPlease open,â you whisper, trying to wrench the door open, âplease.â
By the time youâre done grumbling and yanking, the doorâs only response is a pitiful groan, failing to give way at all, completely and utterly frozen shut.
âYouâve gotta be fucking kidding me,â you mutter, glancing at the hinges of the door.
âFrozen in,â Leon drawls, stepping up behind you, âwho wouldâve thought? You know, you looked pretty pathetic trying to open it up.â
You turn around to face him, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from spewing a slew of curses at him. Your best friend would pay dearly for this debacle. Pushing past Leon, you stride purposefully into the room you were staying in, pulling free the sheets before managing to haul the mattress off of the bed frame.Â
Leon watches with raised brows as you lug the mattress across the floor. You dump it onto the space just in front of the fireplace, brushing your hair out of your face before disappearing into your room again to gather the sheets and blankets.
âAt least youâre resourceful?â Leon offers, following suit as he adds his mattress next to yours soon after.
The absence of heat becomes all the more apparent as the night creeps in, your body shivering and teeth chattering every now and then despite the layers youâre wearing. You and Leon settle on soup for dinner, placing the cans near the fireplace to heat them up.
âMaybe weâll just freeze to death,â you sigh, tugging the blanket draped around your shoulders a little tighter.
Leon hums, glancing over at you. âMaybe.â
You roll your eyes at his short response, padding through the cabin and into the dark bathroom. No generator meant no lights and you werenât willing to risk using your phone or the flashlights lest the battery ran out.
âOuch,â you grumble when your hip hits the side of the sink, your eyes squinting in an attempt to adjust to the dark.
Youâre too busy rubbing your hip to notice the dark shadow stepping into the bathroom. Thereâs an arm landing on your waist and you shriek, hand flying out to smack whoever it is.Â
âCareful,â Leon groans when he feels you grab at his face, feeling around blindly.
âWhat are you doing?â you hiss, pushing at his chest.
âKeeping you company,â he shoots back, ânot like thereâs anything for me to do other than stare at the fire.â
âDonât tell me youâre scared,â you say, managing to turn the tap on. The water is entirely too cold, but thankfully not yet frozen. You hunch over, splashing some onto your face.
âFunny,â Leon replies drily, his hand slipping lower to hold your hip as you bend over.
Your breath hitches at the action and you hope Leon doesnât notice, especially with the way you tremble when his hand smooths over your waist absentmindedly. Leonâs touching doesnât seem to let up and you turn around in his arms, fingers prodding into his chest.
âStop touching me, you creep.â
Leon lets out a heavy sigh, his hands falling away from you. You manage to bundle out of the bathroom, finding his eyes in the dim lighting. He stares down at you, and you tilt your head in question.
âNothing,â he huffs out, shoving your face away with his hand.
You grumble, swatting his hand away, padding over to your makeshift bed near the fireplace. Despite the warmth of the fire, you still shiver, and snuggling in under the heap of blankets.Â
Leonâs footfalls are quiet as he makes his way over, settling down on his own mattress. Silence passes over you both until a sneeze tickles at your nose, making your eyes water.
âAre you still cold?â Leon asks quietly.
âNothing I canât handle,â you mumble back, curling up your toes in your socks, trying to bury yourself deeper under the blankets.
You miss the way Leon rolls his eyes, a squeak leaving you when you feel strong arms looping around your waist, tugging you across onto Leonâs mattress. His chest is warm against your back, the layers of blankets growing with the two of you now pressed together.
âLet- let go of me,â you grouse, trying to unlatch his arms from around you.
âNo can do, pipsqueak,â he replies, keeping you close, âmy sister will kill me if anything happens to you. Besides, I know you gotta little thing for me.âÂ
âI do not have a thing for you,â you scoff, your denial sharp. You squirm in his arms, managing to roll onto your other side to face him. âThat would be gross, Leon.â
âYeah?â Leon murmurs, his eyes drifting across your face, âyou didnât think it was gross when you told my sister youâd like to sit on my face.â
You sputter, embarrassment making your cheeks go hot. Suddenly, the chill of the snowstorm seems to fade, replaced by a heat that seems unbearable, Leonâs skin warm against yours.
âI- I did not say that!â you protest, trying to squirm out of his arms again but to no avail.
âI overheard you,â he sighs, rolling his eyes when you try to swat at his face.
âWell, fine,â you admit begrudgingly, stopping your struggling. âBut you arenât special . I could name five other guys off the top of my head that Iâd enjoy.â
âOuch,â Leon replies, his eyes boring into yours. ââm wounded, pipsqueak.âÂ
You send him a glare before snuggling closer, your face shoving into his chest. Leon lets out a rough laugh, his grip on you loosening. Silence passes over you and the warmth settles down to something more cozy, making your eyes droop shut.
âCould be fun.â
âWhat?â you mumble sleepily.
âCould be fun if you sat on my face.â
You peek up at him, taken aback. âHave you lost your mind, Leon?â
His lips purse as he considers your words, shrugging his shoulders lazily. âGotta kill the time somehow,â he yawns.
ââm not sleeping with you, jerk,â you reply, trying to ignore the fact that Leon, grumpy federal agent Leon , was offering to eat you out.
He sighs, muttering something incoherent that you can barely pick up on. It doesnât help that Leonâs managed to ruin your sleep, the image of Leonâs head between your thighs popping into your mind. Could be fun .
Leonâs already staring at you when you look back up at him, his brows raising when you play with the strings of his hoodie, twirling and twisting them.
âDo you want to?â you ask.
He considers your words, running his hand through his hair. âI could use the practice. Itâs been a while.â
âIâm not a training dummy, Leon,â you retort, but Leonâs already moving, the blankets around you shifting as he pulls them off, grabbing at your sock and pajama pants. âYou said it could be fun .â
âPractice can be fun,â he replies drily, pulling your pajama pants off.
You shiver when the cold hits your skin, goosebumps erupting all over immediately. Leonâs hands are warm when he slides them over your legs, his head lowering to take a look at your panties.
âCute,â Leon murmurs, finger pulling at the band before letting the fabric snap back against your skin.Â
âH- hey!â you stop him when he tries to pull them off, eyes narrowing. âYou should build up to it, not just go right in.â
Leon rolls his eyes and you huff out an annoyed breath, feet pressing up against his chest.Â
âCâmon, Leon,â you say, voice morphing into a taunt, âwork for it.â
âYou always like this?â he shoots back, glaring down at you.
You give him a snarky smile, nudging your feet against his chest again. Leon shakes his head, grabbing one of your feet. You watch as he dips his head, his lips landing on your ankle. Leonâs lips are surprisingly gentle, his eyes flitting to yours as he trails his lips up your leg, leaving hot kisses in his wake.
A soft sigh escapes you, the tenseness fading as you relax, letting your eyes slide shut as he squeezes your thighs and kisses the side of your knee.
âGood?â he asks, his voice low.
âMhm,â you nod, hips reacting to his ministrations as he spreads you apart.
Leonâs breath is hot against your skin, his tongue darting out to lick teasingly as he covers your inner thighs with kisses. You peer down at him, reaching out to place your hand in his hair, back arching slightly when he noses into your panties.
You bite your lip when he licks over your panties, feeling wetness beginning to gather between your thighs. His eyes flutter shut when your nails scratch at his scalp lightly, lapping at your clothed pussy until the fabric is wet with his spit and your slick, clinging to your folds.
âThatâs cute,â you murmur, âthought this was just practice?â
He huffs out a breath and you smile, letting him lap at your clothed cunt until heâs satisfied. Leon kisses your hip when he rises up, fingers trailing across your thighs before drifting over your panties again, rubbing the drenched material absentmindedly.Â
ââs nice,â he murmurs, reaching up to tug your panties flush against your pussy, his eyes latched onto the way it outlines your puffy folds. Leonâs fingers reach down, rubbing over your cunt, pressing your panties against you harder. He watches the way you bite back the noises that threaten to escape, his lips turning into a frown. âDonât do that.â
You shake your head stubbornly and he glares at you, tugging your lip out from the confines of your teeth.
âGuess Iâll just have to wear you out, hm?â
Leonâs fingers are greedy as he pulls your panties free, throwing them somewhere over his shoulder.
âKiss first,â you say quietly when he thumbs apart your sticky folds, âthen lick.â
âI know how to do this,â he grunts, gripping your thighs harder to pull you closer to him.
âWell then show me- oh fuck -â
Your breath hitches when he kisses your clit, the bud swollen and aching from before when heâd licked over your panties and prodded his tongue against you. Leon grins against your cunt, his tongue lolling out to lick a stripe over your wet pussy, delving deep between your folds to drink down your slick.
âTaste good, pipsqueak,â he rasps, licking over your cunt, lapping over and over again until your thighs twitch and your hand tightens in his hair, eyes squeezing shut.
âDonât- ngh- donât call me that! â
âWhat should I call you then?â Leon asks, pulling back to spit on your cunt, his fingers spreading over your clit and pussy, rubbing it in, his thumb drawing tight circles against your clit. âHm? Baby, is that what you want? Maybe sweetheart? Darlinâ, gorgeous, my good girl? All of âem?â
You can only manage out a moan, hips rolling up to meet his mouth as the pet-names ring in your mind, a haze of lust fogging over your mind. Leon lets out a hoarse laugh, prodding a finger against your fluttering hole, easing it in.Â
A whimper leaves you, cunt clenching around it as he nips at your thigh, tilting his head to suck your clit into his mouth. You shudder as he suckles, tongue flicking against the throbbing bud, teeth grazing across gently. He presses another finger into your cunt, a deep groan leaving him as you clench around his fingers harder, hips jumping when he sucks at your clit with renewed fervor.
âSuch a whiny baby,â Leon muses when he hears the little whimpers and whines that leave you, his hand clamping over your hip to keep you in place as you squirm. âDonât worry sweetheart, âm gonna take care of you.â
You mewl, hips rolling again needily as he buries his face into your cunt, slurping and sucking noisily. It makes your cheeks flush with embarrassment, despite the fact no one can hear you for miles.
âThought-Â ah-Â thought you were gonna let me sit on your face,â you mumble out, body shuddering when Leon curls his fingers, beginning to thrust them in and out of you.
âIs that what you want?âÂ
You peer down at him before managing out a nod. Leon hums, taking a measured suck of your clit and pressing a kiss to it. He pats your hip, shifting to lay on his back in response. Itâs nice of him, you think, when he offers you his hand, pulling you closer as you swing your leg over his face as you peer down at him.
âSit on my face, baby,â he murmurs, kissing the inside of your thigh.
You flush lightly, reaching out to brush the hair thatâs fallen across his forehead, running your fingers through the soft strands. Leonâs eyes slip shut and you smile, trailing your fingers over the curve of his cheek before shuffling forward, lowering yourself onto his awaiting mouth.
âOh,â you breathe out, hands landing on the sheets above his head, gripping them tightly.
Leon groans, hands grasping at your thighs, squeezing the fat of them as he urges you to rock your hips across his mouth. Itâs almost too much, the swirl of his tongue, the intensity of his gaze as he looks up at you.
âI like it when you shut up,â you murmur, giving him a smile as you drag your cunt over the length of his tongue. âSo much more tolerable this way, Leon.â
Leon lets out an indignant sound and you yelp, jolting when his hand comes down on your ass, your flesh stinging. What an asshole. You glare down at him, gripping his hair harder, pulling at the strands, enough to make it hurt .
He grunts, eyes squeezing shut in pain before he grasps your hips, pulling you down flush against his mouth. Your mouth opens, a strangled moan sounding as you feel his tongue pressing into your cunt.
âN-Â ngh-Â no,â you begin to say but Leon ignores you, fucking into your cunt with your tongue.
You can hardly see straight, back arching, eyes squeezing shut.Â
âBrat,â Leon snarls, slapping your ass again, âso fucking bratty, sweetheart.â
ââm not,â you whine, squirming atop his mouth, moaning again when he sucks his clit into your mouth, tongue flicking and swirling until youâre seeing stars. ââm not , Leon.â
âYou are,â he snaps lowly, âbratty and annoying and a fucking pain the ass.â He licks over your cunt again and again. Your thighs twitch, chest heaving as you suck in short, sharp breaths, hunching over when his teeth nip at your folds carefully.
Itâs the worst, or perhaps the best because it has the bridge of his nose pressing up against your clit in a way that youâve never felt before. You rock your hips, gasping, tears pricking at your eyes when he lands another heavy slap to your ass.
âCum, baby,â Leon hisses, his voice a low rasp, âcum on my fucking mouth. Can you do that, hm? Be a good girl for once and cum .â
You shudder, a sharp cry tearing its way out of your throat as you cum, twitching violently. Thereâs sweat covering your body, your eyes squeezing shut as you cum. Leon laps at your slick, drinking it down like a man starved. He squeezes your thighs and you tremble, managing to squirm off of him, slumping down over the blankets, panting as your cunt throbs.
Silence passes over the cabin, save for the soothing crackle of the fire. Leon clears his throat, his arm wrapping around your waist to pull you closer into the warmth of his chest.
âHey,â he murmurs, âyou- uh, you good?â
âShut up, Leon,â you grouse, still reeling from the fact that Leon had given you the best orgasm of your life.
âI didnât mean it,â he offers quietly, calloused palm rubbing up and down your side, over the dip of your waist and curve of your hip. âWell, not all of it.â
You shift, turning to face him. Leonâs hair looks like a mess and you figure you donât look that much better, given all the squirming and writhing you were doing earlier.
âYeah?â you murmur, âwell, I mean it when I say youâre a dick.â
âFine,â Leon muses, a smile pulling at his lips, âIâll let you h-â
His words are cut off when you shuffle closer, grabbing his hoodie. Your nose brushes against his gently, eyes fluttering shut as you press your lips against his tentatively. Leon sighs into your mouth, his hand squeezing at your ass, his lips working against yours.
You wrap your arms around his neck, letting out a soft noise when he licks into your mouth, tasting yourself on his tongue. He canât help himself as he grabs at you, his hands sliding up under your thick sweater to grasp at your tits. You whimper when he pinches your nipples, rolling them between his fingers before tugging gently.
âGonna let me fuck you, sweetheart?â Leon whispers against your lips.
You nod, kissing him again, pulling at his hoodie. He sits up, tugging it up over his head before reaching for you, pulling your sweater off of you. Leon swallows when he sees your breasts, his hands reaching for them greedily.
âCâmere, baby,â he murmurs, dipping his head to suck a nipple into his mouth. You bite your lip, hands cupping the back of his head as Leon nuzzles into your breasts, mouthing at the sides of them, landing soft kisses across your sternum and up your throat before finding your lips again.
Your hands are just as greedy as his mouth, reaching down to palm him through his sweats, the bulge looking inviting. Leon moans into your mouth and you smile, pecking his lips as you dip your hand inside, curling your hand around his cock.
Itâs thick and heavy when Leon pulls down his sweatpants, his cock bobbing. You lick your hips, straddling his thigh, stroking his cock slowly. Leonâs eyes are squeezed shut, his head tipped back as his hips buck up into your hand.
ââs big, Leon,â you murmur, watching with rapt attention as thick globs of pre-cum bead at the tip of his cock.
âY- yeah?â he whimpers, thighs twitching, ââs all yours, sweetheart.â
You hum happily, meeting his eyes before opening your mouth, letting spit drop down from your tongue onto his cock. Leon groans brokenly, watching as you jerk him off, cum and spit mixing together.Â
âEnough,â he grunts when you swipe your thumb over the tip of his cock.
You pout, shuffling back, enough to get your mouth around the head of his cock. Leonâs grumbling when your tongue swirls around his cock, his hand fisting into your hair to pull you off roughly.
âI said enough ,â Leon murmurs, moving you until you're on your hands and knees.Â
âThought you said your cock was mine ,â you drawl, wiggling your hips, ass up in the air for him. âYouâre being- oh -â
A dazed sigh leaves you when you feel Leonâs mouth on you again, his thumbs spreading you apart greedily, tongue licking over your cunt. You turn your head, hazy eyes finding Leonâs hand wrapped around his cock, his grip tight as he strokes himself.
âWant your cock in me,â you mumble, drooling into the pillows when he kisses your clit.
âGreedy,â he says, rubbing his cock against your cunt for a few seconds before he presses his cock in.
You gasp, eyes squeezing shut, hips shifting away. Leon clicks his tongue, pulling your hips back, forcing you to take his cock. Itâs girthy and thick, a mewl leaving you as you feel his cock stretch you out.
âThatâs it,â Leon whispers, hand smoothing over the length of your back, âtake my cock, sweetheart.â
You babble incoherently, leaning back into him when he drapes himself over your back, his lips on your shoulder. Leon draws his hips back before thrusting them forward, making you moan. He smiles against your skin, kissing the back of your neck before straightening out.
âLook at that,â Leon murmurs, letting out a low whistle as he spreads your wider, his fingers stroking the edges of your stretched out pussy. âGreedy cuntâs just swallowing up my cock, baby.â
âMore,â you whine, starting to rock your hips back to meet his thrusts.
Leon groans, feeling your ass smack back against his hips. He grips you harder, fingers bruising against your hips, pushing down on your back to make you arch. The action has you squeaking when you lose your balance, toppling forward, cheek squishing into the pillows.
The clap of his hips against yours is embarrassing, the cold around you forgotten in the dim cabin, the thickness of his cock replacing any worries you had.
âSo fucking good,â Leon snarls, tugging you up again. âPerfect fucking pussy, baby.â
You cry out when he fucks up into you, his chest flush against your back, his arm winding around your neck. Leon squeezes and you slur out a moan, head turning to sink your teeth into his bicep.
He hisses at the flare of pain, squeezing harder. Your body jolts with every thrust, eyes rolling back in delirium at how good the feel of his cock is combined with the squeeze of his arm around your neck.
âLeon!â you whimper, tipping your head back, kissing his jaw sloppily.
ââm right here, sweetheart,â he groans, mouth slotting over yours messily.
Itâs all spit and sloppy kisses, both of your bodies trembling as Leon pounds into you without abandon. The squeeze of his bicep has your vision blurring, nails digging into his thigh. Your cunt clenches and Leon whines, pressing you back down to fuck his cock into you, hand coming down on your ass hard .
âGonna make me cum,â he rasps, fingers finding your clit, rubbing tight circles around the swollen bud.Â
âPlease,â you mewl, hugging the pillow to your chest, âplease, Leon- wanna cum, wanna cum please .â
âYeah, yeah, yeah,â he chants breathlessly, kissing your cheek, âwait, where-Â fuck, baby-Â where do you want it?â
âIn- nghhh- in me,â you beg, hooking your foot awkwardly around his leg, trying to keep him from pulling out. âCum inside , Leon. Want your cum.â
âShit,â Leon groans, pressing his face into the crook of your neck, his hips humping into your cunt as he loses himself in the tight clench of your pussy. âSweetheart, you gotta let go.â
âN- nooo,â you whine, shaking your head, wiggling your hips back so his cock presses into you deeper.
He moans, the sound deep and guttural and it has you moaning too, cunt clenching around him like a vice.Â
âPussyâs not letting me go,â Leon snarls, cock driving into you deeper as he slows his thrusts, opting to roll his hips instead. âFine, âm gonna give you my cum, sweetheart. Gonna fill this greedy, little pussy up.âÂ
You slur out a response, face shoved into the pillow, writhing as Leon rubs your clit a few more times. He curses when you squeeze around him again, slumping over you as his cock twitches, hot cum spilling into you. You bite your lip, dazed and sated as you cum with him, pussy fluttering around his cock.
Leon kisses your neck, panting as he lets his forehead rest against your back. His softening cock slips out of you and Leon turns you on your back, dipping his head to kiss you deeply. You wrap your arm around his neck loosely, sighing contentedly as he massages your hips and thighs.
âIâll be back,â he whispers against your lips.
You nod, laying there limp. Leon returns with a dry cloth, his lips lingering on your stomach and hip as he cleans you up.
He tugs you into his chest after, kissing your cheek and letting you burrow into his warmth. Your fingers slide through his hair, playing with the soft strands absentmindedly as he smooths his hand over your side, dropping a kiss to your head every now and then.
âSo was that good for practice?â you ask, feigning innocence.
Leon huffs out a laugh, his hand squeezing at your waist. âYeah,â he says, thumb stroking over the curve of your hip, âreal good, baby.â
You hum happily, smiling when he tilts his head, kissing you again.
âDoes this mean I can see your work?â
âNo,â he replies drily, smiling against your cheek. âStill classified, sweetheart.â
âWell, what can I do to un -classify it?â
Leon grins. âI can think of a few things.â
-
âBring me any souvenirs?â you call out, leaning against the side of your car.
Leon rolls his eyes, dumping his duffle bag onto the ground, his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. You laugh, letting him nuzzle into the crook of your neck, humming in amusement when he grumbles.
âYouâre meant to say you missed me.â
You did miss Leon. After the snowstorm had receded, youâd still been unable to keep your hands off one another, even when youâd returned home. Heâd been called on some mission some months later, and now here you were, picking him up.
âJust a smidge,â you murmur, biting your lip when he noses into your cheek, pressing soft kisses across your skin.
You turn your head, cupping his cheeks to pull him closer, kissing him deeply. Leon smiles against your lips, holding you tighter, arms squeezing around you. âMaybe a lot,â you whisper, landing another kiss to his lips.
âI missed you too,â he sighs, tucking your hair behind your ear and pressing a kiss to your forehead. Leonâs lips drift, dragging down over the side of your cheek and to your jaw. He presses you against the cool metal of your car, one of his hands drifting under your skirt.
âKnow that pretty pussy missed me too,â he murmurs, ââs why you sent me all those videos, right?â
âShut up, Leon.â
âOh câmon,â Leon drawls, pulling you back into his chest when you try opening the door to your car, âI liked âem, sweetheart.â
He kisses your neck heatedly, a soft whine making its way out of your throat when he squeezes the fat of your ass and pats it affectionately.
âWe should go home,â you whisper breathily.
âYeah,â Leon murmurs, his hand forward to cup your pussy, stroking it through your panties. âCarâs right here though.â
You squeeze your eyes shut, muttering a curse when Leon speaks again.
âCould be fun.â
#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy x reader#resident evil smut#leon kennedy x you#resident evil#leon kennedy
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Ë°âą*ââ· loser!gf ellie
synopsis: just some random headcanons about what it'd be like to date loser ellie who's js so obsessed with you.
notes: never made any headcanon posts before, so don't mind the setup lmao i have no clue what i'm doing
tw: mostly fluff but there are some smutty hcs (oral â e!receiving)
â§ââș to begin with, ellie defo prefers cozy 'netflix n chill' date nights over dressing up for fancy dinners.
â§ââș cuddling up on the couch with you is something that never fails to make her heart swell, no matter how long youâve been together.
â§ââș but mostly because it gives her a chance to imagine what domestic life with you might be likeâthough sheâd never admit it, afraid it might seem like sheâs moving too fast.
â§ââș sheâs a sucker for resting her head on your chest while you thread your fingers through her hair, gently massaging her scalp as the two of you watch some cringey movie youâll inevitably fall asleep to halfway through.
â§ââș on the rare nights you donât doze off, ellie grabs her brown acoustic guitar adorned with spongebob stickers and serenades you with a gentle melody while you rest your head on her shoulder.
â§ââș when youâre out with friends, ellieâbeing the absolute dork she isâseizes the opportunity to practice tricks on her scratched-up skateboard, determined to one day impress you with her skills (even though she can barely land a kickflip without bruising herself)
â§ââș when she eventually heads home with fresh scratches and deep purple bruises on her arms and knees, she does her best to patch herself up and cover them with makeup, hoping you wonât notice.
â§ââș walking around town with ellie is always chaotic, as she canât help but scream with excitement at the sight of every cat she sees.
â§ââș bonus points if sheâs eating chipsâsheâll immediately tear open the bag and try to feed the poor animal junk food, no matter how much you explain itâs unhealthy. she just wants the cat to be happy and fed.
â§ââș speaking of cats, she's defo the type to snap 0.5 pictures from every angle, proudly maintaining an entire folder dedicated to her feline encounters.
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â§ââș you got her a dino necklace for her birthday, and sheâs never taken it off since.
â§ââș ellie also has a whole mini-figure collection of the reptile and loves sending you pictures of two dinos kissing, always captioning them with: us!!
â§ââș this girl lets nothingâabsolutely nothingâdistract her from a videogame. but the moment you so much as call her name, sheâs running to you like a stray dog that just found its owner.
â§ââș sometimes, you sit on her lap as she plays, watching her screen and asking the silliest questions. she always answers with a smile and a soft kiss on your cheek.
"what about there? would you die if you went inside that room?" you ask, your arms draped around her neck as you tilt your head to get a better view of her game.
she chuckles softly, pressing her lips to your jaw before fiddling with the joysticks. "judging by the fact that itâs pitch dark in there, iâd say⊠probably, yeah."
â§ââș the room eventually falls silent, her focus fully locked on the game. but when she glances down a few moments later, she finds you fast asleep, your head resting on her shoulder, and she canât help but smile.
â§ââș youâve never seen a room as messy yet effortlessly aesthetic as ellieâs. somehow, the clutter only adds to her charm and uniqueness.
â§ââș sometimes, as you sit on her bed scrolling through your phone in comfortable silence, ellie sketches little drawings of you.
â§ââș by now, her sketchbook is filled with portraits of youâyouâve become her muse.
â§ââș she used to get shy about showing you her artwork, hesitating before every reveal. but after seeing your excitement over one piece, she proudly gave you a full tour of her sketchbook, secretly basking in the joy of being the reason behind that pretty smile of yours.
â§ââș one time, ellie asked you to press your lipstick-stained lips onto a piece of paper, saying she wanted to create something abstract.
â§ââș that moment quickly escalated into her kissing you with urgency, her lips trailing heated breaths down your neck and collarbone. before you knew it, you were lying on your back, clothes discarded on the floor, as she devoured you like a prisoner savoring a last meal.
â§ââș ellie had never tasted pussy before, but she didnât need any frame of reference. sheâll always insist yours is the best she could ever have.
â§ââș sheâs a soft dom, big on praiseâeven when youâre the one between her legs.
ellieâs head falls back against the wall, a low groan slipping from her lips as your tongue flicks against her clit. you wrap your lips around the sensitive bud, watching her face contort with pleasure.
âfuck, baby. just like that,â she grunts, her hand threading into your hair and tugging gently to bring you closer. âyouâre doing so good.â
â§ââș in the end, ellie is just a hopeless loser whoâs madly in love with you and would do anything to make you happy.
#ellie williams#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x you#ellie willams x reader#ellie x fem reader#tlou ellie#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#lesbian#ellie williams fluff
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