#but it's like if i can't get it perfect the moment i open the google doc then i don't bother

[for-the-ninth]

It's been like a year or something since I've updated my fanfic and I'm worried that if I go back to writing it I'll have a completely different writing style again and it'll make everything all WEIRD

[lovingjingyuan]

Hi!! I've been reading your first for awhile and I think you're such a great writer and I was wondering if I could request a yandere Sunday/welt/jingyuan/blade where the reader has depression and how they'd handle it? You could add anything you like :) thank you!

Thank you sm for the compliment. I'm so glad someone enjoys my works <333 Tbh I don't find my writing good cuz my English isn't so good for writing ;-; also when i writing this on google docs it was like 7 pages long.

Warning: 2.7K words, A bit affectionate in Jing Yuan and Aventurines part, manipulation, abuse of power, gaslighting, emotional abuse,

Info at bottom

Pairing: (Yandere) Sunday, Welt, Jing Yuan, Blade, Aventurine x Reader

Sunday Sunday wouldn't be able to handle it well, but instead, he would unintentionally cause further damage to your mental state. It’s elusive getting you to cooperate with his subjectives. He couldn’t quite bring himself to understand why you aimlessly slumber like this, showing little to no affection and he deluges you with this subjective perfect life. You were in a gilded cage ornate into a display of artwork, but to Sunday you’ll always be that vulnerable bird, needing guidance and protection. He couldn’t grasp the idea of why you still yearn for freedom when he can provide you with everything you desire.

You reminded Sunday of the time when he and his sister Robin once took a weak bird under their wing. The bird is like you; too weak and vulnerable for this cruel reality. Yet, his subjective never appealed to your line of reasoning. To you, people are meant to make their own choices and yearn for the touch of freedom. But to him the weak must be helped and preserved by the strong and by that you’re weak. 

Instead of offering you normal support and seeking treatment for you he would isolate you further, making watch of your every movement and ensuring you’re always in his presence every second. 

To Sunday he couldn’t just let you go now, not after all his sacrifices and efforts to hold you captive in his presence. He started to lie and twisted his thoughts into believing that this is the only path to achieve mutual happiness and to ensure your safety. Yet, it further broke him even though you refuse to make and remain apathetic with him. Your constant depression and lack of motivation left him feeling adrift. You rarely are able to take care of yourself anymore leaving him completely lost.

All he can hope is for you to develop Stockholm syndrome. He prays that your depression and lack of happiness will lead you to believe he’s the only one who can mend the wounds on your heart, filling any empty void. 

“Please stop lying on the bed. You’ve been there all day. You know that’s far from healthy and will only worsen your state,” he silently pleaded with you hoping by any miracle you would follow through. This constant isolation he put you through has been driving both you and him mad. But in the end, you lost all light in you. No longer able to plead with him any further for salvation.  

You can just simply close your eyes falling further back into nihility. 

“Please, my dear, you can't keep doing this to me… to yourself-”

‘I’m fine, ' you snapped. How his heart ached at your indifference.

“No, you’re not okay. Your behavior is absolutely absurd!” he remained unfalter on the edge of the bed next to you. Sunday’s mind ran blink on ways to save you from deluging any further in depression. He could release you, but he’s scared the moment he does. You would leave him forever like the bird he and his sister raised.

He leaned in, brushing your hair aside to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead. He will continue to keep you here with him indefinitely, trying to keep his own sanity intact as well as yours. He only remains resolute to keep you here with him, refusing to open his eyes and acknowledge his wrongdoings.

“It’s not a sin. I’m doing this for the greater good.”

I believe Yandere Sunday is just manipulative in wanting to keep you, he’s no sadist but I also believe he cares a whole lot about his public image which is now RUINED! Sunday would be a good lover if you comply or not obsessed over you. Sunday would be the type to say, "Oh my days." :)

Welt During his lifetime Welt had witnessed a lot and many tragedies. Despite his knowledge and understanding of the consequences of his actions, he couldn’t suppress his urges when it came to you. Welt always made sure to keep a watchful eye over you, safeguarding you from any troubles. He would usually spend a lot of his time watching over you and observing any anomalous behavior from you. 

One sudden day he started noticing you developing odd behaviors and your daily schedule becoming a trouble. You also started to develop a habit of dissociating away from your peers, he was no exception. This unusual behavior disturbs him because it meant he can’t keep a close eye on you. 

Now I feel how he’ll handle this can go two ways: He seeks immediate professional help for you OR tries to handle this situation himself. The reason why Welt would try to handle this situation himself is to prevent you from becoming self-aware. To Welt, becoming self-aware poses a challenge to him as you’re more aware and knowledgeable of your surroundings and who is around you. He would do everything in his power to leave you clueless and thoughtless towards your surroundings so you don’t become aware of any manipulation he inflicted on you in the past.

Manipulation such as convincing you to stay with the Astral Express by his side 24/7. Welt truly cares about you and needs to see you heal. To him you’re the light in the room full of darkness in his heart. Every time you smile, laugh even when you’re clumsy or mess up he can’t help but smile, feeling relaxed near your presence. Even if you're not the brightest person you still light and warm up his heart. 

“Are you alright?” he asks, raising a brow as the bottom of his cane taps the floor behind you. Deep down he knows the answer and urges you to tell him the truth, finding comfort in his presence like he does in yours. 

“I’m alright,” you intensity waiver him away.

Unfazed by your response, he persisted, “You really don’t need to pretend, around me.”

If you do manage to admit and confess your feelings he would categorize it as depression. Welt will immediately try and cheer you up, letting March, Dang Heng and Stelle; his trusted companions around you. He will try every day to lift your spirits even letting you choose where to go for the next trailblazing expeditions. 

Welt attempts to educate himself more on the topic of depression, so he can create a safe environment for you. Although he might not exactly provide professional help he will solve it ethically.

Lol I can't see Welt keeping you captive. He would probably pressure you or convince you to join the Astral Express so he can keep a close eye on you. He's very careful when being possessive over you. Himeko and Dan Heng can catch on quickly so he would try to make you fall in love with him.

Jing Yuan Jing Yuan, a high achieving General, a man who no one can hate personally, aged over 600 years and has experience of yearning over the dead and betrayals. As he watched you drift into the endless abyss of sadness he could not help but share in your sorrow. All he truly wanted for you was your happiness and safety, including your undying love and attention. 

Yet this draining illness simply wouldn’t allow that for you. Jing Yuan is a man who is willing to go to extreme lengths in pursuit of your happiness which only he should be the one serving. Yet under one condition, he’s willing to do things that go against your happiness just so he can satisfy his impulsive desires. 

“I love you so so much. Please don’t be sad,” he murmured softly into your eyes, biting down gently on the top of your ears, which sent shivers down your body in a sensual way. He twirls the end of your hair with his fingers holding you against his embrace.

You continue to stare out into the distance, while his fingers play with the ends of your hair.

“If there’s anything you must need…. Please,” he implored in your ears from behind. The warm breath on your neck, “Tell me. I care about you and you know that.” his arms wrap around your waist telling you you’re all for him alone, all while he nuzzles his head against your shoulders. His white fluffy strands of hair tickle up against your cheekbone. 

If you ever found yourself in his custody and requested freedom, he would by all means exploit rapid, white little lies. 

"Recently, there have been reports of numerous mara-struck soldiers on the loose. 36 tragedies have resulted from these mara strikes," he warns, emphasizing the fake danger outside. "Luofu might need to go into lockdown, so it's safest for you to stay here with me."

He soon begins to take into account your condition growing rapidly worse. Your depression started to overtake your everyday life. That’s when he knew this was severe. Although sometimes delusional, he does take into account his mistakes. 

“I arranged us a date, a vacation even! It’s been many years since I left Luofu for anything other than urgent matters.”

You smiled and nodded profusely in agreement. This smile and small action deluges his heart with warm sweet love <3 How his heart jumps and flutters like a butterfly because of you. If you don’t get any better he will hire and get you an appointment with the best psychologist. 

Jing Yuan just wants the best for you wholeheartedly and truly. If he does kidnap and detain you, it’s because of his impulsive actions to keep you for himself. There will be no other 4th betrayal or the 4th person to pay the price. 

Blade Blade’s cold demeanor and sharp eyes were enough to sway anyone away; he never believed himself capable of love or being a good partner in general. Some people in this cosmos were simply not cut out to be in a relationship, or so he believed since his journey began with the thought of death lingering in his mind. 

Yingxing would have been a more suitable man in a relationship, but Blade? He doubts on the idea of love and interest. Yet, when he laid eyes on you he couldn’t ignore the strange stinging of an electric sensation in his heart. He wanted to delve deeper into this unusual sensation he was feeling. Although he knew he could never truly reveal himself.

Who wouldn’t recognize a man whose bounty is worth 8.13 billion credits? At least he has a good credit score unlike me (╥﹏╥) Blade slowly started by stalking you, falling deeper into the spiral of love and obsession. He knew with his records you could never reciprocate his feelings.

He restored to drastic measures, keeping you in his custody. It’s difficult to say he’ll treat you top-notch. Being under his care seemed more like a physiological experiment. Providing you with basic needs while expecting obedience, as if conducting an experiment. 

Blade never once will lay a hand on you, raise his voice at you, only expressing annoyance through small grunts and groans. However, the isolation drove you quickly to the brink of insanity. Every day, waking up to a meal, lack of interaction; he would simply stare down at you as you chew on the food he provided. You even lack social interaction with your kidnapper. The daily routine went on, like a trap in an asylum. 

His cold gaze lingered on you, studying your every move, all while silently making mental notes of your behavior. If you did fall into depression he wouldn’t recognize it immediately, attributing it to your natural state or how you express disappointment.

Every tear shed or harsh remark towards him is met with silent observation, perceiving it as a natural reaction. Only when severe signs startsd occurring; refusing to eat or neglecting basic hygiene, did Blade acknowledge something was amiss.

He attempts to coax you with better-tasting meals, even dessert. If you die from starvation how else will he get the same sensation he feels when around you? This strange sensation in his heart is much more desirable than death.

“Eat it, you mustn’t starve yourself,” he says nonchalantly, placing a bowl of Mapo Tofu and a small portion of rice before you.

“Just leave me alone.”

“Eat it.”

“No.”

Blade shot you a deadly glare, his intimidation palpable, urging you to reluctantly pick up the chopstick. Blade’s method or strange way of love worsens your condition. I think with Blade you probably wouldn’t relieve yourself from the chains of depression. Yet I also do believe Blade will try to understand your mental state yet fail.

If Blade were to love; he would start by, placing a hand on your shoulders and gently massaging your shoulder blade as you ate. The thought of Blade saying “I love You,” seems inconceivable, but he’d probably say it underneath his breath.

“Do now dwell in longingness for too long,” he muttered against your ears, perhaps the most motivational phrase he said to you since the decline in your mental state began. Although he won’t admit upfront he loves and feels affection toward you, his demeanor is more relaxed around you and his sharp intense eyes soften at your presence. 

How to help a depressed person 101: The reader is Blade trying to figure out what’s causing you this and how to help you. 

Aventurine From the moment Aventurine first laid eyes on you, he knew exactly what he wanted for the rest of his life. He had always felt most alive when gambling at high stakes, but being near you brought a sensation even more profound; a mix of obsession and love washed over him. 

When you begin to struggle with depression, Aventurine tries everything to lift up your spirits by lavishing you with extravagant gifts, hoping they would bring you happiness. Yet the joy was only ephemeral and wasn’t what he truly desired. What he craved was not only your happiness but also your love and affection.

He couldn’t bring it into words but, your presence was like an addictive drug he constantly craved for. His dopamine goes crazy near you, almost exploding his brain. There was something about you that he yearned to possess and preserve for himself.

“Sweetheart, I brought you this exclusive necklace,” he announced from behind, presenting the box to you.

Your face lights up only momentarily at each lavish gift presented to you, but as gifts keep coming, their extravagance holds little value. Aventurine could only find himself lost. What could he do now since he can’t seem to please you any further with his riches?

To him, his identity revolves around his wealth and luck, without the appeal towards money, he feared that he held no more value in your life. He wished you found solace in him as he did towards you.

“Is something the matter?” he asked anxiously, feeling you slip away further despite all his efforts. You’re his safe haven but he can’t fathom why he’s not your after all of his efforts. 

“I’m fine,” a transparent white lie escapes your lips.

“That’s a blatant lie,” he frowned, wrapping his right arm around your waist and pulling you in closer to him while on the bed. “Please, tell me the truth. I’ll buy you anything you want,” he continues coaxing you with the power of money.

“I’m okay,” you continue to refuse despite his effort.

Aventurine hesitates to pressure you any further, fearing that you’ll start to withdraw from him completely. He would insist, forcing you into therapy, though each session came with a price because nothing in this universe is free.

With Aventurine’s dirty money he coaxes the therapist to make every session involve him in some way while actually helping you. With the power of money, the therapist starts to manipulate you into seeking comfort, and attention from Aventurine. Every session ended with something about Aventurine, so he can linger in your thoughts.

Slowly, you began to heal, finding yourself drawn to Aventurine's presence. He welcomed this, craving pleasure since he- himself is constantly drawn to you every second.

"How are you feeling?" he asked gently, his arm draped around you as you both lounged on plush casino's cushion.

"Better," you replied softly.

He smiled at your response, knowing it was what he wanted to hear. Finally, he was becoming your safe place, just as he had always hoped.

His hand gently massaged your back, drawing you closer until your lips were almost touching.

"Is that so?" he grinned, closing the gap with a tender kiss, savoring the sweetness of the moment. As he pulled back, staring at your bashfulness, he brushed your hair behind your ear and whispered, "If I win this, I'll buy you everything you desire."

P.S: I'm going to sleep after this but idk much about Welt despite playing hi3 since near release date. I also like keep character in character but Yandere or any NSFW +18 works are probably gonna be ooc.

Sorry this took so long I'm Trying to get my life back together :(

Mental Health

I take mental health seriously since I’m studying to become an expert in the medical field for mental health! If you’re ever in need of help please ask a trusted adult or seek help right away before it becomes worse! Just know mental health doesn’t make you a bad person but rather you’re suffering and depression is also an illness. Everyone is allowed treatment no matter what.

[mythos-writes]

My Ferrari

Toto Wolff x Ferrari principal (wife) reader

Plot: Toto and his wife use the grid as ponds in their plans to mess with each other... inspired by @pucksandpower Social Media AU cause I think it's so cute

Formula 1 Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2

Word Count: 1.5k

Warning: fluffy moments, Lewis and Charles getting 'kidnapped', google translated german + italian,

Lewis was walking by the Ferarri paddock, minding his business and preparing for free practice. His music playing in his AirPods, when he heard a voice trying to get his attention.

“Lewis!” a voice gets his attention. He takes out a bud and looks around. He sees (Y/N) Wolff running up to him.

“Hey, (Y/N), what can I do for you?” He asks, still clueless about her plans.

“I want to play with Toto a little, and I need your help,” she explains but keeps it vague.

“Ok, with what?” he asks, not noticing Charles and Carlos coming up behind him.

“GET HIM!” she yells. Lewis feels arms around him, and him leaving the ground. “What are you going?!” he says, trying to not giggle because he knows he won’t get hurt.

“You are going to be my ransom against your famous principal,” She says with a smile. They take him into the garage and to (Y/N)’s office. They place him on a folding chair and tie him up in some take they had found in the garage.

All Lewis could do is give (Y/N) a ‘why do you have to drag me into this’ look. Once the two drivers finished tapping up the other driver, they were giggling like toddlers getting a pass for bad behaviour. “Thanks’ you two, you guys are good to go,” she tells her drivers.

“(Y/N) what is all this for?” Lewis questions, knowing she couldn’t hide things from him. [Things that were non-racing related] 

“I know your season hasn’t been the best, and I just wanted to have some fun. Even though we’re rivals, we’re also family and it hurts seeing Toto come off a race and just look frustrated and sad. So I’m trying to just have some fun,” she tells.

“ I appreciate that you’re trying to cheer him up…BUT… why do you have to drag me into this?” he questions, pulling at the tap a little. 

“Oh, because you’re his golden child, and it would be easier to get Carlos and Charles to carry you than George,” she says while pulling her phone out. “And don’t worry, you’ll be out of the tap, just as soon as I get a picture, to send to Toto,” she states while getting a few pictures. 

"Perfect, now I'm going to take the tap off, but you can't return to the Mercedes paddock just yet," she states. Lewis moves to the couch and lays out. "Yeah, I figured as much."

Toto was walking around the Paddock, looking for Lewis. He wasn’t in his driver's room, and he wasn’t with Roscoe, cause Angela took the pup on his paddock walk. He asked George and the other team members but hadn’t seen him. His phone pings, as he gets a series of texts. He sees his wife's name pop up and he feels a smile grow. But when he opens the texts, he tries not to laugh. 

He is greeted with a photo of Lewis tied up with a nervous face on. The text that followed almost made him laugh...

Toto, I have in my possession I have your precious 7-time champion. If you want him back before free practice, you must meet my demands. If you bring yourself and some food from your catering to your dear wife. Then you’ll leave with your precious driver. If not met, Lewis will become a Ferarri driver

Toto looks up and he see’s Goerge talking to Alex Albon just outside of the paddock. He waived the two over. 

“What can we do for you boos man?” Alex asks. 

“Well you two, I had a job for you…”

Charles was getting ready for the practice and he was doing his normal pre-race routine. Because of this, he didn’t hear George or Alex sneak up behind him. George grabbed his hands and Alex grabbed his legs, and they started to carry him off to the Mercedes paddock. 

“What are you two doing?!” Charles asks, he is confused about why he is being dragged into this. Before they could answer, Ted Kravitz spotted the ‘kidnapping’ of Charles  Leclerc. 

“We have just spotted Alex Albon and George Russell carrying Ferarri’s Charles Leclerc. George what is going on here?” he asks. 

“We’re just working orders by the boss,” he replies as they walk into the garage. 

By now, (Y/N) had untapped Lewis, and he was just chilling out in her office. Her phone pinged, notifying her that she had gotten a text. When she opened it, she was shocked to be greeted by a picture of Charles, tapped up just like how they had Lewis. A text followed the picture that read… 

Two can play this game, Liebe. If you want your driver back, I suggest we make a truce and do a driver swap on neutral ground… in front of the McLaren paddock in 20 minutes. If you can’t meet these requirements, Charles will become the newest Mercedes driver this weekend... Also, bring some of Ferarri's catering coffee, you know how I like my coffee

She showed Lewis the texts, and he just started giggling at Charles's face. The two looked at each other, knowing the fun and games were coming to an end. 

“Well, it looks like we need to stop at the coffee booth before we meet my dearest husband,” (Y/N) comments before getting ready to meet the Meracdes principal. 

The end of the 20 minutes was closely approaching, and by now, the whole grid and paddocks knew what was happening between the two teams. So when they saw Toto standing with George and Charles, at one end, outside of the entrance of McLaren’s paddock. The other racers and team principals were standing outside, waiting for the Ferarri principal and the famous Mercedes driver.

“There they are,” someone yells out. Everyone looked up and saw the people of the hour come walking over, with a minute to spare. (Y/N), Carlos and Lewis stop and face off with Toto, George and Charles.

“Do you have what I asked for?” she yells across, they’re about 2 meters apart. Toto raised a bag, that was filled with her favourites from catering.

“And you?” he questions. She holds up the cup of coffee, made how he likes it. He walks closer, signalling she walks towards him. They meet in the middle and hand off their trades. 

“Pleasure doing business with you, amore,” she says with a smile. Toto rolls his eyes, but he found this whole thing amusing. He brought her into a hug, causing the grid to burst out into comedic cheers.  

“Come find me before heading back to the hotel,” he whispers in her ear. She nods.

“Does this mean we can go back to our teams now?!” Lewis yells. The two laugh at the driver’s antics. 

“Yes, you can go back Lewis,” she says as the two drivers swap back to their right teams.

“May the best team win,” he says with his cheeky smile. “May the best team win,” she replies with the same smile. The FIA marshals come by and dismiss everyone, as free practice was about to start.

After free practice and they had their debriefs, (Y/N) made her way to the Mercedes paddock. She was ready for the qualifying race tomorrow. She notified some of the Mercedes crew to let Toto know that she was there. As she waited for him, she ended up finishing some last-minute emails on her phone.

“ Geez, and they call me a workaholic,” Toto’s voice breaks her concentration. She looked up to see him walking towards her. (Y/N) put her phone away and greeted him with a hug. Both teams performed well in practice and had a bright weekend. 

“Come on, we have a long day tomorrow,” she says, just wanting to get room service and get some well-needed cuddles. They get into the car and made their way back to the hotel. It was quiet for most of the drive. 

“So about the antic you pulled,” Toto broke the silence. She looked over at him in the driver's seat. “That was quite the start of the weekend,” he says, trying to stay stoic. 

“Well, I know that this season hasn’t been the one you were expecting, and I hated coming home and seeing you so disappointed and frustrated. So, I decided to have a little fun,” she explains herself. Toto brought his hand to her lap and wrapped his large hand around her smaller one. He brought her hand up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss against the back of her hand. 

“I appreciate that Liebe, and I must say, I did have fun today,” he says, remembering the way he recruited drivers to do his bidding. She smiles and returned the kiss he just placed on her hand. 

“I’m glad that my plan worked,” she replies. Silence fell between the two, but it was a peaceful and comfortable silence. 

“The next time you plan to kidnap one of my drivers again, I’m just going to steal you and have Charles and Carlos come to rescue you,” he comments, causing her to erupt into laughter. Their relationship had its ups and downs, but right now it was the perfect relationship anyone could dream of. 

~~~~~~~~~

google translate:

German: Love- Liebe

Italian: My Love- amore

[skywalker1dream]

Title: A Day to Remember

note: emotional day yesterday ufff charles monaco win im so happy, i was crying yesterday, family podium with uncle chili. hope you like it. hope you are having good day or night, drink water and eat healthy. btw i used google translate..

charles leclerc x reader

Summary: Charles Leclerc has just won the Monaco Grand Prix, a dream come true for the Monegasque driver. As his long-time partner, you share in his triumph, and the two of you celebrate his victory with an unforgettable night in Monaco, culminating in a life-changing proposal.

Warnings: Fluff, mild suggestive content, celebration, alcohol use, proposal, explicit sexual content

----------------------

The roar of the crowd was deafening as Charles Leclerc crossed the finish line, securing his first-ever win at the Monaco Grand Prix. You stood in the VIP section, your heart pounding with pride and excitement. Charles had dreamed of this moment since he was a child, and now it was finally real.

As he stepped out of his Ferrari, the cheers grew even louder. His face lit up with pure joy as he waved to the fans, then turned and ran towards you. You barely had time to react before he swept you into his arms, spinning you around.

"We did it!" he exclaimed, his voice full of emotion.

"You did it," you corrected, kissing him deeply. "I'm so proud of you, Charles."

The celebrations began immediately. Charles was whisked away for interviews and the podium ceremony, but you stayed close, your eyes never leaving him. The champagne spray, the trophy lift, the national anthem, it was all a blur of euphoria.

Later, as the sun set over the Mediterranean, the real celebration began. You and Charles had decided to host a private party at the prestigious Monte Carlo Beach Hotel. The terrace was beautifully decorated with twinkling fairy lights, and the gentle sound of the waves provided a serene backdrop.

"To Charles!" someone toasted, and everyone raised their glasses.

"To my amazing team," Charles responded, his arm around your waist. "And to my incredible partner, who has supported me through everything."

The party was in full swing, with friends, family, and teammates mingling, dancing, and enjoying the lavish spread of food and drinks. But amidst the celebration, Charles only had eyes for you.

"Let's get out of here for a bit," he whispered in your ear, his breath warm against your skin.

You nodded, and he led you down a private path to the beach. The cool sand felt wonderful under your feet as you walked hand in hand, away from the noise and excitement.

Charles stopped suddenly, turning to face you. "I still can't believe it," he said, his voice filled with wonder. "Winning Monaco… it's everything I've ever wanted."

"You deserve it, Charles," you replied, cupping his face in your hands. "You've worked so hard for this moment."

He smiled, pulling you closer. "And I couldn't have done it without you." His lips met yours in a kiss that was both tender and passionate. The world seemed to disappear as you lost yourself in the feel of him, the taste of him.

When you finally broke apart, you were both breathless. Charles rested his forehead against yours, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. "I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too, Charles," you whispered back.

You spent the next few hours on the beach, talking, laughing, and simply enjoying each other's company. It was a perfect night, one that neither of you would ever forget.

As the first light of dawn began to creep over the horizon, Charles stood up, pulling you to your feet. "Come on," he said with a grin. "I have one more surprise for you."

He led you back to the hotel, where a private suite awaited. Inside, a bottle of vintage champagne was chilling, and the room was filled with roses. Charles opened the French doors to the balcony, where a table was set up with candles and a view of the sunrise over the Mediterranean.

"Wait here," he said, his eyes twinkling with excitement. He disappeared into the suite for a moment, then returned with a small, velvet box in his hand.

He took a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly as he knelt down on one knee. "I've been planning this for a long time," he began, his voice full of emotion. "Ever since I met you, my life has been filled with so much joy and love. You've been my rock, my biggest supporter, and my best friend. I can't imagine my life without you."

Tears filled your eyes as you looked at him, your heart swelling with love.

"Today was a dream come true for me," he continued, "but it's nothing compared to the dream of spending the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me, ma chérie?"

He opened the box to reveal a stunning diamond ring, its facets catching the first rays of the morning sun.

You gasped, your hands covering your mouth as tears streamed down your cheeks. "Yes, Charles," you whispered, your voice shaking with emotion. "Yes, I will marry you!"

He slipped the ring onto your finger and stood up, pulling you into his arms. The kiss you shared was filled with love and promise, the perfect end to a perfect night.

But Charles wasn't done yet. He swept you off your feet and carried you into the suite, kicking the door shut behind him. He set you down gently on the bed, his eyes darkening with desire as he looked at you.

"I want to show you just how much I love you," he murmured, his hands trailing over your body.

You shivered under his touch, your skin tingling with anticipation. "Charles…"

He silenced you with a kiss, his lips moving against yours with a passion that took your breath away. His hands were everywhere, sliding under your clothes, caressing your bare skin. You moaned, arching into him, desperate for more.

Charles took his time, undressing you with a reverence that made you feel cherished and adored. When you were finally bare before him, he paused, his eyes raking over you with undisguised lust.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "I can't believe you're mine."

You reached up, pulling him down to you. "Show me," you said, your voice trembling with need.

He needed no further encouragement. His hands and mouth were relentless, driving you to the edge of ecstasy again and again. Each touch, each kiss, was a testament to his love and desire for you.

When he finally entered you, it was slow and deliberate, a claiming that left you both breathless. You moved together, your bodies perfectly in sync, building towards a climax that left you shattering in his arms.

As you lay in the aftermath, tangled in the sheets and each other, Charles kissed you softly. "I love you, Mon ange" he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

"I love you too," you replied, your voice filled with contentment.

You spent the rest of the morning wrapped up in each other, making love as the sun rose over Monaco. It was a celebration of not just his victory, but of your love and the future you would build together.

As you lay in his arms, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, you knew that this was just the beginning. Charles' win in Monaco was a dream come true, but it was also the start of many more incredible moments to come.

And you couldn't wait to share them all with him.

[moonxytcn]

Hey! Could I request Billie comforting and taking care of an insecure reader with an eating disorder

And, I'd love to be friends :)

Love and Insecurities ||

Billie Eilish x fem!reader

summary – when you feel insecure Billie is there to remind you how beautiful you are.

warnings – fluffy, angst (almost anything ), eating disorder.

word count – 606.

a/n – Heyy! my first request, I'm happy. I hope you like this, and I'm sorry if it wasn't that good I'm a new writer so I'm still learning, constructive criticism is always welcome. thank you very much for requesting.

English is not my first language so there may be some errors

This gif isn't mine, I found it on Google

–––

You are sitting by the window, watching the city lights sparkle in the darkness of the night. A gentle breeze enters the room, bringing with it a sense of calm and serenity, as you let yourself be enveloped by the silence of the night. Waiting for Billie, who at this moment was in her studio, you can't help but fear the moment when she comes home with the same pizza box she always brings when she comes home late at night.

Your eating disorder has been present since school. Since you were a teenager, you've always been a bit chubby in your thighs, belly, and arms, which at the time led you to suffer bullying. Not wanting to hear any more comments and teasing about your body, you started reducing the amount of food you ate and sometimes even skipped meals during the day, all in an attempt to get as close as possible to the imposed standards.

When you met Billie, it was like a breath of fresh air. From the moment you laid eyes on each other, it seemed like a line had been drawn connecting you two. Billie has always been kind and loving to you, always making sure to tell you how much she loves you and affirming how beautiful you are. Of course, over time, this reduced the insecurity you had around her, but there was always a small flame waiting to grow, I mean, surely she's seen prettier women out there, right? She was a famous singer, you were sure there were better people to be by her side.

But she always assured you that you were the right person for her, that she loved you, and that you were the one she loved showing off to the world, always protecting you from the paparazzi but also showing the cameras the beautiful girlfriend she had.

Snapping out of your thoughts with the sound of the door opening, you got off the window ledge and went downstairs to meet her.

"Hey, love." She says when she sees you, coming towards you and hugging you and giving you a soft kiss on your lips as a greeting. "I brought pizza." She adds, smiling, showing her dimples.

"Hey darling. How was your day?" You ask. "I'm really not that hungry." You say and you don't notice but she already looks at you with recognition in her blue eyes.

"It's okay, come here." She says, taking your hand and leading you to the couch where she lays you down and climbs on top of you. "You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are, and I know I've been a bit distant with the album production, but I promise I'll remind you of this every day. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever had the pleasure of seeing, and I'm thankful every day to be able to call you mine." She says, looking deeply into your eyes. And with her words, you feel your eyes welling up as you try to look away, but she doesn't let you, gently grabbing your jaw to make you look at her.

Looking into your eyes she leans in and gives a soft kiss on your eyes, cheeks, forehead, and until she reaches your lips where she gives a kiss full of love, passion, and affection for you. "You are amazing and I'll never tire of saying that to you." She says softly to you.

She gives a last kiss on your lips and leaves light kisses like feathers down your neck, which she passes to your collarbone and onto your arms, belly, and thighs where she knows are the parts you like the least. "I love you entirely, I love your brown eyes, your beautiful arms, your belly, and those wonderful thighs where I always love to be in the middle because you know I love it when you almost suffocate me with them." She says, making you let out a little laugh which she finds adorable.

You pull her up by her t-shirt and pull her into a deep kiss, trying to show your gratitude and love for her. Coming out of the kiss all you can say to her is how much you love her and how grateful you are to have her in your life, and that you hope that in the future you'll have the life you've always dreamed of together.

[queensunshinee]

I would love to see a simple blurb of Patrick and Liana on their good days! Even though I'm rooting for Art now, we can't deny that in the beginning they were cute 🥲

ohhhh yeah, when they were good they were really the best :) warnings: SMUT! 18+!, dirty talk, p in v sex, oral sex, fingering, praise.

Patrick stared at Liana as if she had fallen from the moon, and she felt her cheeks begin to burn. "Why are you looking at me like that? You were the one who told me to wear a dress!" She quickly touched her nose with her hand. "I'm going to change clothes." She rolled her eyes while he continued to remain silent and stare at her.

Slowly, Patrick's smile widened, and he entered her dorm room. His hand, which was behind his back, held a rose wrapped in clear cellophane and a bow. "You're perfect. I'm just thinking about how to survive dinner without taking off that dress." He kissed her gently on the cheek. "You clean up well yourself, Zweig," she said, unable to hide her smile. "Where are we going?" she asked, examining his unusually polished appearance. A light blue button-down and jeans. Clean shoes. Who was this guy, and what did he do to her boyfriend?

"Since I managed to surprise you? No way I'm telling you now. But we're running late, Lilo, let's go." Patrick felt mesmerized. He really felt he wouldn't survive the black dress combined with the new bangs she had cut and the bright red lipstick. Patrick helped her put on her coat and handed her bag while she locked the door.

"You can open your eyes," Patrick whispered in her ear as they stood in front of the chef's restaurant Liana had talked about on the phone with Melissa three months ago when Patrick was next to her. She had only said that the place belonged to some chef she had seen on TV, and Patrick made a mental note to reserve a spot for them. From that moment, he saved up for their meal. He did a few odd jobs between the courses his parents forced him to take and his training sessions. One of the jobs he did was delivering newspapers. He was utterly exhausted, but the look she gave him now was worth the hassle of the past few months.

"Patrick, we can't. It's too expensive here." She was in complete shock, swallowing hard as he practically dragged her to the entrance. "Happy anniversary, Lilo." He smiled at her, and before they went inside, she stopped and gave him a deep but brief kiss. "How did you know I wanted to eat here?" she asked curiously. "That's what happens when I want to know everything about you." He shrugged without looking at her, as if it was obvious. As if it was clear to everyone that he loved her enough to want to know every detail of her life.

They sat down, and he ordered the white wine she had loved since they moved to London. In general, he thought he kinda admired who she had become since they moved to London. She was so intelligent that sometimes he was embarrassed to join in the conversations she had when he was next to her, even though he knew she would never judge him. He didn't want people to think she surrounded herself with foolish people. He always made sure to go home and read a bit on Google about the topics she talked about that he didn't understand. To know more for the next time he saw one of the people she had talked to. So as not to embarrass her.

"Are you happy?" he asked when they entered his apartment, and she took off her shoes. They were both full and slightly tipsy. He felt a warmth in his stomach that didn't characterize London's winter in any way but did characterize Liana. "You know that even if we had been sitting in the pizzeria across from your apartment, I would have been happy, right?" Her smile was wide and sincere. "Let me," he murmured, seeing her struggle with the buckle of her shoe. "You don't have to—" she replied, but he was already on all fours in front of her, smiling one of his softest smiles, the gentlest ones that she knew were reserved just for her.

Patrick took off her shoe and started planting small kisses on her leg, making her bite her lip while she ran her fingers through his curls. "You're so beautiful, Lilo. Everyone in that restaurant was jealous of me." He murmured, and she felt his breath on her pussy. She knew he saw how wet she was. How much she wanted him. How she always, always wanted him. It could have been embarrassing if she didn't know he wanted her just as much.

"What do you want, Liana?" he asked, partly to tease and partly to hear her demand what he already wanted to do. "Your tongue. Please." She found herself almost trembling as his strong hand steadied her. He gave a small lick over her panties and then couldn't resist sucking on that spot with a force that made her moan and him growl.

"So wet, sweetie," he mumbled, suddenly pulling down her panties but leaving them around her legs, making it hard for her to spread. One hand held her ass, and the other stabilized her left leg while his tongue explored her from the inside. "Fuck, Pat," she managed to say through a quiet moan, struggling to breathe and talk at the same time. His skilled tongue explored every inch of her, his lips pulling and kissing while he drank every drop she released.

The hand that held her butt gripped harder. Liana was sure it would leave a mark for days, but just the thought of it could bring her to the edge, while the hand that was on her leg joined his lips, and three fingers at once made quick movements in and out. Liana couldn't control the volume of her moans anymore and almost screamed.

"Atta girl, give me everything you've got. I want the neighbors to hear when you come on my face, Liana, do it for me," he almost begged in a half-broken voice but still maintained authority while he continued to eat her out. Liana's eyes rolled back as she screamed his name, stabilizing herself by grabbing his head uncontrollably, causing him to groan almost as loudly as she did as she came on his chin.

Patrick stood up, not leaving her for a moment because he knew she was struggling to stand steadily right now. He almost dragged her to the bed, finally removing her panties and unzipping her dress. "The dress has done its job, I don't want to see it anymore," he muttered and threw it to the floor with mock defiance while undressing quickly.

"I want you so much, Liana. Fuck. I've never needed anything like I need to be inside you," he said, planting long, sloppy kisses on every part of her he could reach. His hand played with one of her nipples while giving her a moment to recover from the orgasm she had just experienced, to avoid overwhelming her senses. "Please, fuck me. Patrick. Please," she begged, and he smiled. "Not tonight," he said gently, moving her sweaty bangs from her face and seeing her eyes widen, showing disappointment. "Tonight, we're going to be one of those disgusting couples," he continued, kissing her cheek and then the other. "Tonight, I'm just going to love you. We're making love tonight. Tomorrow, we'll fuck. Okay?" he asked.

Liana was so surprised because it was uncharacteristic. Everything with Patrick was rough and blunt and almost jarring to those who didn't know him. Borderline disgusting to outsiders. He could spit in her mouth, and she would swallow it. He could slap her while his cock was down her throat. Use her holes as if she were his personal toy, and it was perfect. Sometimes it was all she wanted from him. All she never knew she wanted. She loved everything he loved. Any request that seemed excessive to someone else, Liana wanted to perform excellently. She wanted him to pet her and tell her she was a good girl because she made him feel so good. But she was sure she couldn't make Patrick feel better than he made her feel. With him, she felt seen. Complete. Like she never had before.

And suddenly, he was lying above her, full of tenderness and peace. Not wanting to fuck her but just to love her. As if they weren't the same things. "Okay," she answered him. "You're so good, Liana," he mumbled as he slid his cock all the way into her, and they both sighed, making the most desperate moans possible.

Patrick moved slowly and deeply. His gaze never left hers except for the moments he had to close his eyes, or he would come too soon. He wanted to hold on to this night. Prolong their experience as much as he could. "I love you so much," he said, feeling her clench around him. He had to stop himself from thrusting faster and harder. He wanted to be gentle with her tonight. He wanted her to know how much he appreciated her.

"I love you more," she replied, and he knew it was bullshit because there was no way anyone in the world loved someone more than Patrick loved Liana. Instead of arguing with her, he pressed his lips to hers. She clenched around him again, and he knew she was close. "Look at me, Liana," he mumbled, forcing himself and her to open their eyes.

"Fuck, Pat," she managed to say before she came. "I know, Lilo, so good. Fuck," he said and came right after her. His body weight enveloped her for a few lazy minutes during which he didn't pull out and kept planting small kisses on her shoulder, where his head rested.

"Happy anniversary, Lilo. I love you," he said, and she smiled at him, looking at the man lying next to her in bed. On the one hand, not believing they had already been together for a year, and on the other hand, feeling like they had been this way their entire lives.

Send me more requests about the story and from time to time I'll get to write some extras like this one. Hope you liked it. Let me know 💜

taglist: @suzysface tqd4455 @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[novankenn]

i got to say i love yur version of "Jaune Gets a Gun Au" Inspired by @howlingday's RU-JA-GUN-CON, and was wondering if ya can do one that involves a dagger and shield,sword,mask, and a dragon belt that can do this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EX7aDQ7mJ1k

@dragon1v2 ... I am VERY sorry for taking like forever to address your ask. I truly am. It is well past the time when I should have done so. I hope you enjoy this offering.

"Jaune Gets An Upgrade AU" Day One - (White Knight Chronicles)

While the rest of JNPR and all of RWBY browsed the wares of the "Firearms & Projectiles" section of the Vytal Festival's Armament Con, Jaune accompanied by Ren was walking through the "Blunt & Blade" section. It was a much smaller set of displays and merchant booths focused entirely on Huntsman/Huntress melee weapons and tools.

Ren: I'm still not understanding why you're here, Jaune.

Jaune: I need to upgrade. It's that simple.

Ren: But why? Crocea Mors is a perfectly viable weapon. Why look to replace it?

Jaune: It's an heirloom, and as much as I love having that tactile connection with my ancestors, I need to send it home. It should be resting with honor.

Ren: Okay, if you're set on doing this.

Jaune: You don't need to be here if you'd rather be with the others.

Ren: No... no. I'm not getting with in forty feet with Ruby and Nora while looking at guns. Pyrrha and Yang will keep them in check, and besides I find this rather relaxing.

Jaune: If you say so.

Ren: Besides someone has to be around you to make sure you don't get scammed.

Jaune: It was ONE time! Can we just forget about it?

Ren: No. No we can't. Atlas Generals do NOT have sneak away from Atlas. They just retire.

Jaune: ...

Ren: So any idea what you would like to consider?

Jaune: I feel I should stick with a sword.

Ren: Makes sense.

Jaune: That looks like an interesting booth.

(Imaged sourced from google - Elden Ring Merchant)

Ren: Uh... I'm... I'm... not sure...

Jaune: What's not to be sure of? He's offering melee weapons and has a good assortment...

Ren: Um... he's inside sitting in front of lean-to and has an actual campfire burning...

Jaune: Just makes him authentic.

Before Ren could offer up any further concerns Jaune approached the "stall"

Jaune: Hi.

Merchant: Greetings. How may I be of assistance?

Jaune: I'm looking for something to replace my current weapon with. Preferably a sword, and maybe a shield?

Merchant: I see. I see. I believe I have an item that would be perfect for you... young master.

Ren raised an eyebrow at that comment, and then he took a step back as with a lazy wave of the merchant's hand a shimmering image appeared...

(Imaged source from Google. White Knight Chronicles)

Jaune: Woah. Cool! It's interesting but the sword seems...

Merchant: Don't let the size of the blade fool you. This is a relic of power... that opens potential in you. Would you like to... try it?

With another wave of his hand, the image faded away leaving just the gauntlet and blade floating in the air before Jaune.

Ren: Jaune I...

Jaune plucked the item from the air and slid it on to his left arm. A phrase instantly jumped to Jaune's mind... one that he was compelled to speak...

Jaune: O Wizel, white warrior, wielder of the ancient sword, grant me your power. Verto!

In a glow of pure white light that blinded Ren, Jaune vanished, and a moment later was standing before him... completely changed.

(Image sourced from Google. White Knight from White Knight Chronicles.)

Jaune: Woah! Cool! I think I'll...

Ren: You'll think about it!

Jaune: Ren?

Ren: Jaune... you're um... you're kind of... overly tall?

Jaune looked down, understanding in some unfathomable way that he stood like 23 feet tall.

Jaune: Now that you mention it you do seem a lot smaller than normal.

Ren: So let's shelve this one... check out a few more booths...

Jaune: But this one is so awesome! I mean I'm totally intimidating like this! I bet I could solo a Goliath like this!

Ren: ...

Jaune takes a step forward and trips over his own feet, unused to his now massive size. Before he could arrest his fall, be hit the floor, leaving a crater and squashing several near by booths... luckily no one was injured... aside from Jaune's pride.

Ren: Jaune?

Jaune: I'm okay! I'm okay!

Merchant: So young... master. DO you wish to purchase this exquisite relic?

Jaune looks at Ren who was standing to the side, arms crossed.

Jaune: Can I come back?

Merchant: Certainly young... master. I will await your return.

Deactivating the item Jaune returned it to the Merchant, before having Ren haul him away.

[luminouslywriting]

Hello darling! I have a request: Namely, it's a BoB request (Dick Winters x Reader). It's a postwar concept, like a while after the war and he returns home and it's all fluffy and based on that romantic scene in Disney's Robin Hood (if you don't know which one just google "disney robin hood love scene" and find the video with that scene; it's so adorable i can't). Thank you!

Oh sweetheart this is such a darling request and I'm so glad you sent me a Band of Brothers one!! Winters has a special place in my heart and I'm thrilled to get this out to you! Reminder that my requests remain open and I'm always happy to do Band of Brothers requests haha!

More under the cut, cut for length:

-Winters is a sensible man with goals and plans for the future. And part of those plans, possibly even the most integral part of those plans, is you.

-He's known for the entire length of the war that he wants to come home to you and marry you. He wants to build a life with you and find some peace and happiness.

-So naturally, he's a little bit nervous about how everything is going to go down once he comes home. He's been through a lot and a lot of time has passed since he's last seen you. And you know that Lew has to sit there and put up with Winters' worrying about how things will work out.

-But he gives a miraculous pep talk to Winters about how he's faced off with the German Army and survived that, how hard can a proposal and reunion be?

-The answer is still rough buddy

-But all of his worries and anxiety seem to melt away the minute that he sees you waiting at the train platform for him

-He's a little bit speechless because you look so pretty and perfect

-But worry not, because this man is smooth af and he's not going to get tripped up because you're pretty and he's missed you

-So after the initial train platform hug that nearly leaves him breathless because WOW, your hair smells really nice and you're actually here and in his arms—he's asking for a small detour before traveling home to see his family/your family

-And naturally the two of you are a little shy around one another, given the fact that it's been so long

-But he wants to take a walk and take in the peace and quiet of the homefront

-He's missed being out in nature and seeing all of the fireflies and just being present and in the moment with you

-Dick Winters is the embodiment of the emotional happy emoji 🥹

-He's suavely grabbing your hand as the two of you walk and quietly talk about what's been going on for the two of you

-You wrote letters, of course, to one another. But letters don't make up for in person contact and getting to actually be with one another. He's really content and comfortable in your presence and relaxed, which is not a natural state for this man haha.

-So as the fireflies start to come out, he can't help but pluck a flower off of the ground and hand it to you

-And yes, he gives this adorable grin as you blush and accept the flower

-Gives the most straightforward and sweet love confession of a lifetime (only because Lew proofread the thing and told him that it was TOO long-winded and needed to be trimmed down to the basics, as this was not a military report haha)

"Y/N, I'm in love with you. I have been for quite some time now. I know I'm not the perfect man and you deserve someone far better than me. But the truth of the matter is that everything for me and my future has to do with you. So I guess what I'm trying to ask you is if you'll marry me."

-It's so tender and sweet and pure of heart that you can't help but say yes (although you were going to say yes regardless of how the proposal went down or WHEN it went down haha)

-And it all ends with the most tender and gentle of kisses where the two of you are holding onto one another as if you're the last two people on earth.

[thefallennightmare]

Moment of Weakness-two

*credit to whoever created the gif. found on google/Pinterest *

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: language, smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Notes: Tags are open if you're interested!

Tags(open): @splendidreads @sebsgirl71479 @mdpplgtz03 @pattiemac1 @unaxv @elizacusi-blog @alana4610 @broadwaybabe18 @themayzittcha @playboystark @raajali3 @ozwriterchick @ragamuffin285 @screamingdying

The winter air of New York brushed past me as I quickly entered the office, shaking off the cold and snow from my hair. The weekend had come to an end, a lonely and quiet weekend, so I was glad to be back at work. As I closed the distance between the front door and my desk, I was shocked when my eyes landed on the figure sitting in my chair. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you were taking over my job today. I could have stayed home in my warm bed,” I joked. 

Bucky smiled. “My job is one thing but there’s no way I could do what you do.” 

I hung up my jacket and bags on the coat rack that was behind my desk. “Do you need me to do something?” 

“I had a few minutes before my first meeting so I wanted to check in with you, see how you’re doing.” 

“So far so good,” I nodded. “It’s easy work.” 

Bucky’s brow peaked while he leaned back in the chair. “Oh really?”

My one hand sprawled on the desk while I leaned into it, the other hand on my hip. 

“I thought that since I was working for a mob gang that I would be cleaning up blood or hiding bodies but all I’ve done is run coffee and make copies.” 

I shrugged; eyes locked with Bucky’s. “Maybe you’re a big softy, who knows.” 

The sarcasm was evident in my voice. 

A low chuckle rumbled from Bucky’s chest and he slowly stood, the height of him towered over me. His bright eyes shined as he slowly licked his lips, our faces so close but not close enough. I could feel my heart jump into my throat causing my breath to get caught. 

He smelled over cedarwood, like the outdoors, and it comforted me almost instantly. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you can be a smartass?” His voice was low, husky, and it caused my core to twitch. 

I cleared my throat. “Once or twice.” 

The air shifted around us as his hand began to slowly raise, ready to move the loose strand of hair that fell into my eyes. I sucked in a breath as I felt his soft touch tuck it behind my ear, his vibranium fingers lingering on the skin of my neck. 

My fingers spread over his wide chest and I marveled at the way it felt beneath. They began to graze down but the front door opened, her petite voice calling for Bucky. I hurriedly stepped away from him, creating enough distance between us. 

“I brought breakfast!” Natasha smiled while holding up a brown bag. 

Bucky’s gaze stayed on me for a few moments before looking towards his wife and plastered a smile on his face. “I didn’t know you were coming by.” 

They shared a kiss which caused me to look down at my feet, suddenly feeling very out of place. 

“You rushed out this morning and you didn’t eat so I thought I would surprise you.”

It was almost as if she was avoiding me, not bothering to look my way, which I didn’t find myself complaining about. As they shared yet another kiss, I did my best to leave them be, but my feet haltered when Bucky’s voice sounded in my ears. 

“Can you cancel my first meeting?” 

I raised a brow. “Are you sure? It’s with Mr. Stark and he’s been trying to get a meeting with you for the last month.” 

Bucky cursed with his hands on his hips. 

“I’m sure he would understand, right? Breakfast with your wife should come first,” Natasha said. 

I couldn’t stop the way my eyes rolled. 

“I can see if he’s fine with meeting later. You’ve got an hour free for lunch. I don’t think it’ll take that long, right?” I suggested. 

The smile that pulled at Bucky’s lips made my heart flutter. 

“That should work. Thank you, Y/N.” 

I watched with sad eyes as the two of them walked into his office, his hand on her lower back. 

“Hi, Mr. Stark. This is Y/N calling from Mr. Barnes office again. Something came up and he won’t be able to make his ten o'clock meeting. I’m wondering if there was any way we could push it back to one this afternoon. Give me a call back at this number. Thank you.” 

I hung up the phone and rubbed my eyes with a sigh. I had spent the last hour trying to get a hold of Mr. Stark, only to be met with his voicemail. 

“Hopefully he gets the voicemail before it’s too late,” I grumbled to myself. 

Suddenly, there was a noise coming from the wall behind me and when the sound of a woman moaning grazed my ears, my stomach fell into the pits of my stomach. 

“Oh, Bucky. It's so good.” 

I cleared my throat and did my best to block out their moans, keeping my attention on my work.

You wish it was you, though. 

I mentally smacked the thought away and hummed a tune to myself. It worked for a bit; the moans started to sound farther away. 

“Is Bucky busy?” 

I looked away from my computer and gave Steve a warm smile. “Yeah, Natasha is-.” 

We both heard a very loud crash followed by Bucky’s deep moans. It caused my insides to burn and I discreetly adjusted myself, hoping the itch would subside. I remembered the feeling of his vibranium fingers on the skin of my neck and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep the moan quiet.

“How long has that been going on?” Steve nodded behind me. 

“Way too fucking long,” I grumbled.

He noticed that I had been bothered by the sounds coming from Bucky’s office so Steve sat on the edge of my desk next to me and looked down towards me.

“I need your honest opinion about something,” he said, stretching out his long legs. 

I leaned back in my chair while looking up at him. “About?” 

Steve ran a hand through his long hair in an attempt to get it out of his face. “I’ve been thinking about cutting my hair back to how it used to be; short.” 

My eyes doubled in size. “No way. You can't. I can’t even imagine you with short hair and clean shaven.” 

Steve chuckled and scratched at his beard. “It used to be my look back in the day.” 

I snorted. “Back in the day? How old are you?” 

“Way too old, I feel,” he laughed with me. 

“But honestly, don’t cut your hair,” I said while raising to my feet. My fingers messed with his long locks. “I like it this way.” 

His chest rumbled in bliss as I gently scratched his head and his fingers ghosted over my thigh. 

“What are you doing tonight?” Steve asked. 

My fingers were now twirling in the ends of his hair. “Are you asking me out, Rogers?” 

He shrugged. “One drink?” 

I gnawed on my bottom lip, weighing the decision in my mind. There was chemistry between us, it would be wrong to deny myself that especially since the one my heart had yearned for was unavailable. 

The door clicked open behind me, Natasha and Bucky walking out. She was busy fixing her blouse that she didn’t notice Steve and I; Bucky, however, did. 

Bucky’s eyes darkened as he took in the sight of us, Steve’s hand on my hip while I continued to mess with the hairs at the back of his neck. 

“What’s going on here?” He questioned. 

Steve sighed. “Impeccable timing as always, Buck.” 

I stood frozen in Steve’s grasp, unable to move because of the look Bucky was giving me. I went to explain but the front door now opened and I groaned when I saw who walked in. 

“Mr. Stark, did Y/N not call you?” Bucky questioned the man while extending his vibranium hand. 

He shook Bucky’s hand while shaking his head. “Tony, please. And I never got a phone call. Is everything alright?” 

“I called you a few times and left you a voicemail about rescheduling your meeting today,” I informed him. 

The anger radiated off of Bucky as he turned his attention towards Natasha, laying a kiss on her lips. “I’ll call you later, alright?” 

She nodded and bid all of us a quick goodbye, leaving through the door Tony arrived in. 

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m free now,” Bucky extended his arm towards his office. “Shall we?” 

Tony nodded and walked into the office. 

Bucky’s eyes landed back on me and Steve. “Are you going to join us, Steve or are you too preoccupied with Y/N?” 

My shoulders fell at the tone of his voice. He was clearly upset that I had decided to flirt with Steve and not continue my work. 

Steve sighed. “Of course not. Punk.” 

He punched Bucky’s shoulder before he disappeared into the office. 

“I swear I left Mr. Stark a voicemail asking to reschedule,” I explained. 

Bucky took a step towards me and I felt the heat from him engulf around us. His breathing was slow but erratic. 

“I’d suggest you keep your mind on your work and not flirt with the men that work here,” his voice was low. 

I scoffed. “Excuse me?” 

Bucky went to speak but Tony appeared in the doorway and pointed between us. 

“Should I come back? This seems like it needs to be discussed.” 

“No,” Bucky kept his eyes trained on me. “We will finish this later.” 

All I did was nod as I watched Bucky walk into the office now with Tony and let the door slam behind him. 

[glassartpeasants]

Calling To The Moon

Overhaul x F!Reader

Warnings: Child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, death, slight gore, suicide, mentions and implications of self-harm, dead dove do not eat

A/N: This is probably the saddest shit I've ever written. I know I've said that before probably, but I'm serious this time. It took me a whole month nonstop to finish this. I wanted to make it perfect for you guys and just simply for myself. I'm very proud of this fic, and it took me so long to get it to the point where I was confident with the writing and editing. This fic is VERY long, and I mean VERY LONG. It was a whole 25 pages in Google Docs and has 9,603 words in it. I really hope you guys like and it would mean the world to me if you could tell me how I did. I hope you guys like it and enjoy <3

~~~

The atmosphere in the base has never been so cold. No matter what, every room and hall felt colder than the arctic sea. Both temperature and emotion wise. You’d ask your husband to turn up the heat, but he was always busy and seemingly never in a good mood. Which only added to the cold feeling. Summer or winter, it was always cold. Even colder when you’d guys have an argument.

Arguing with him was hell. He’d talk over you and say such hurtful things. Belittling you and ignoring whatever you had to say. In every argument, he stood victorious because you just wanted his horrible words to stop. He’d bring up things that he’d promise to never tell a soul. Yet there he was, using your past against you.

It feels like your chest is getting ripped open every time you do. The times he’d spit his venom when he wore his mask was terrifying. You could see a danger in his eyes, like how a lamb fears a wolf. You hated feeling this way. He was your husband. He shouldn’t be scaring you and threatening you. But here you were.

He never did it in front of other yakuza leaders, which is why you enjoyed the meetings so much. He'd act as lovingly as someone like him would during a meeting. These times would remind you of why you married him. How'd he act like he was proud being next to you. Telling you he loved you in ways only you both know. It was amazing while it lasted. The feeling of being wanted.

After 8 months of being married, though, he started to change.

He’d never sleep in the same bed as you anymore. You don’t know if he moved to a different room or if he slept in his office. You've searched your brain for anything but can't think of a single reason as to why he would just up a ditch you like that.

It really crushed your self-esteem. Having your once loving husband act like you were so disgusting. Looking at you like he does his enemies no matter what you wore or done. You tried wearing what used to be his favorite thing to see on you, but he completely ignored you. Acting as if you didn’t exist.

Then, he’d look at you with loving eyes that made you forget how he treated you only moments before. When that horrible mask and ugly jacket were off, he'd look at you like he did before you had the ring on your finger. It was times like this that kept you right by his side. No matter the horrible words his other side spilled.

But the mental toll was soon piling up, one small feather enough to make you crash down.

With the mental toll overflowing, it caused feelings you’ve tried so hard to bury to resurface. Times to before you met him. Parts of your life that you wish would burn away from your memories. But, the physical scars you carried only worsened it. You hated yourself, hated the loneliness that crushed you. Hated the way your past haunted you.

All these made your life unbearable. No matter what medication, no matter the ‘self-care’ people would recommend, nothing made you feel complete.

All your ‘friends’ left you as soon as they saw how dark you truly felt inside. They called you a ‘debbie downer.’ So no matter what, they left you to decay and continue their lives without you. You remember thinking that there was no point. No life in your light to scare away the darkness. Then, you met him, and everything changed.

But that was then. Now, you were feeling the darkness creep back inch by inch as you sat on the compound's couch.

The sterile scented environment contrasted greatly to the smell of tea in front of you. The only light was the moonlight shining through the windows. The room felt once again so cold. Hopelessness filled you as sleep still seemed so far away.

“You guys seem like such a happy family. I don’t see why all this happened.” The cop stood in front of the couch where you and your mother resided. You on the far right arm and her on the left. You desperately tried to put as much room as possible between the two of you.

“I'm sorry, officer. My daughter was just having an attention episode. Sorry to take your focus away from real problems.” Your mother’s response was smooth and calm, but you knew what hid behind them. Her stone mask always failed to deceive you, as you knew her best.

You were no fool. You knew she would severely punish you as soon as the officer left. It was just comical, really. How you were stuck in such a position in the first place. It happened only hours ago, yet it was still fresh in your mind like a burn wound. 

“Is this abuse, huh?!” The look in her eyes was so terrifying that you still see it in your nightmares. Her nails dug into the back of your neck, and you felt her nimble fingers squeezing your throat. Your heart seemed to stop at the reality that this was really happening. The way your mother held your throat as you went to pry it off. Although, it ended as soon as it started. She whipped her hands away from you and gave you one last death glare before stomping toward her room. 

Tears poured down your face as you took deep breaths, trying to gather the air that your lungs craved harshly. The feeling of her fingers still wrapped around your neck made the helplessness inside you explode as you started frantically searching for a bag.

The sunset illuminated the room as you managed to find a bag before shoving anything you could into it. Clothes, phone, charger, things that held emotional value, anything you could fit, you brought. 

Stepping out of your room and into the hallway, you feel scared. Worrying that you’ll turn the corner and see your mother standing there with that look in her eyes once more. But to your luck, she was nowhere to be seen. 

You turn towards the door and stare at the handle. It felt as if a strong force was holding your body still. Grabbing all the strength you could muster, you shakingly move your hand towards the door handle, opening it silently. Gently, you moved your feet out of the house and shut the door as quietly as you opened it. The wooden deck creaked below you as you tried to walk across it. Your heart beats in your ears as you bite your lip in anxiety. Being caught right now was something of nightmares. Yet, the sound of dirt crunching beneath your shoes made you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Then, you ran.

You ran down the driveway and onto the dirt road that held yours and many other houses. Your shoes crunched against the ground as dirt flew behind you as you ran as fast as your legs could carry you. The sound of rocks hitting the earth fell on deaf ears.

The trees surrounded you and cheered you on as the wind rustled their leaves. Cold air enveloped your body as your cursed yourself for not wearing a jacket, but it didn’t matter. How your body ran gave your body enough heat to survive for now. Adrenaline pumped through your veins, and all you could think of was running. To run till you collapsed or reached your grandparents only a few miles away. You’d finally be safe and wanted there.

The sun set faster than you imagined, and the once beautiful sky was soon replaced with stars that called you. Telling you to come visit them. That you’ll be safe there. The urge to reach for the stars was crushed as red and blue lights surrounded you and the trees. They hid the stars above you, and the feeling of loneliness once again encapsulated you. Tears threatened down your cheeks as you heard a man’s voice tell you to get in the car. Saying that he’s taking you home.

What was back there was no home to you.

You got into his car without a fuss despite the urge to fight. The way back to your hell was quiet as the cop said nothing to you. The back seat of his vehicle was cold and unwelcoming. Dread filled you as you pulled up to the place you had run from only hours before. The image of your mom standing on the deck haunts you as she waits for her ‘attention-seeking daughter’ to come home.

“Why are you crying?”  A light voice ripped you from your reflection of the past and brought you back to the present. With blurry eyes, you try to make out the voice that called out to you.

“I just had a moment. Sorry, you had to see that. I thought everyone was asleep.” Wiping your eyes, you blink away the remaining tears as you finally catch a glimpse of the man in front of you.

You’ve never seen him before.

“Who are you?” You couldn’t help but be suspicious. 

“My names Gushiken Taro. I just started today, so I’ve yet to meet everyone.”

“Oh, that makes sense. Well, my name is Chisaki (Y/N). It's a pleasure to have you here at the compound.” You sent him a welcoming smile. His voice seemed so young. From what you could actually see of him, he still looked like a teenager or had the body of one. 

“You must be Overhaul’s wife, I assume?” God, you hated that name. Ever since that name had left your husband's tongue, your life has been nothing but constant dread. 

“Yes, that's correct. May I ask how old you are?”

“Your much more friendly, I have to say. But I’ll be turning 19 in a few weeks.” You couldn’t hide the shock on your face. His age would be the same as…his.

“That's so young! How did you get caught up in the yakuza so young?” 

“It’s a long story, haha. But why is the leader's wife crying at midnight?” You didn’t know what to say, so you just answered his question. 

“I couldn’t sleep. I just…get emotional when I don’t sleep.”

“Understandable. I’d love to chat more, Mrs. Chisaki, but I must find my way out of this maze and back to the exit. It’s so late, and I must go home. It’s dark, so it may take a while.”

“I can help you to the exit.”

“Really? Are you sure?” Standing up, you grab your tea and hold a smile on your face.

“I’m sure everyone deserves to be helped.”

“Thank you very much. I shall follow you.” You nodded as you led him towards the exit, making small conversations along the way. A familiar feeling to protect slowly crawled back.

~~~

Despite being so close to another human being, your husband no less, you still felt so cold. You tried to ignore the goose bumps that littered your arms, but you still let out a shiver on accident. 

“Hey, Overhaul, your pretty wife over there is shivering. Why don’t you give her your jacket, huh? Take care of a special thing like her.” The gruff voice of an older man cut through the air. You saw the leader of the farthest clan looking at Kai with an eyebrow raised. His hair was white, and his skin wrinkled, giving you the impression of him being in his late 60s or early 70s. Reminding you of your own grandfather.

You were shocked, to say the least. No ones ever mentioned you in a meeting before. Well, not in the way where they asked your husband to do something for you in front of everyone. A warmth spread across your face as the feeling of happiness made a small smile appear on your face. It’s been a while since anyone, including your husband, has called you pretty or special. You felt appreciated even if it was by someone you didn’t know.

Shooting your husband a quick glance, he caught your eye before you saw a frown appear from behind his mask. You said nothing as you expected the air to continue to nip at your skin and you’d stay cold, but you were pleasantly surprised when you felt familiar purple feathers surround you and block your vision. The heat of his body that was once trapped in the coat now surrounded you. Snuggling up in the warm fabric, you send a kind smile to the old man who sat in the back. You felt like your husband's love surrounded you for the first time in months.

A flash of white appeared out of the corner of your eye. Moving your head slightly, you ignored the men around you talking. A familiar figure stood by the door. You send the man a subtle wave and smile at him. Your smile grew bigger when the man sent one back.

~~~

 You started walking back to your room, a skip in your step as your husband's jacket still hung on your form. His purple feathered hood surrounded your face and tickled your nose as his scent covered you. The smell felt safe and made you feel so sleepy. What you wouldn’t give to sleep with your husband's scent again. Feel as if he was actually lying next to you.

“(Y/N).” The stoic sound of your husband's voice broke you of your small fantasy. You knew what was gonna happen. He was probably going to ask for his jacket back and then degrade you. Taking a deep breath to build up your walls, you spin around to look at him, smiling as you try to show a confident front.

“Yes, love?” his shoes echoed against the walls as he moved closer towards you. You tried your best not to shake in anxiety, not knowing his next move.

“Give me my jacket.” You take it off and give it back without even batting an eye. The cold coming back to attack your uncovered skin.

“Anything else I can help you with-”

“I’m not letting you come to the meetings anymore.” You look at him, shocked, as you try to piece together what made him make such a harsh decision so quickly.

“What? Why?”

“Obviously, you're a distraction to the real tasks at hand. I don’t want people paying attention to you when there are more important things to focus on.” With such small words, you feel your walls start to crash.

“All he said was that I was cold! You didn’t have to give me your jacket. You could have continued talking.” He looked at you like you were some stupid little girl. A look you knew all too well.

“If you had a brain, you’d see that that’d be a bad choice. If I want money, I have to make them trust me.”

“Oh, so fake being nice to your wife is a way to get respect and people to trust you?” His sharp eyes turned to daggers as he looked at you.

“I don’t have time to talk to you. I’ve got more important things to do.”

“Good! Because I also have more important things to do than talking to you asshole.” You turn around to stomp away but feel a firm grip wrap around your wrist. He aggressively dragged you to your room before closing the door and making you face him. Your husband's golden eyes bore into your own. Despite the fear that infected your blood, you tried to hide it.

“Who do you think you are to talk to your superior like that.” His voice low, and the grip on your wrist turned bone-crushing.

“Superior?! Kai, your my husband! And let me go! You're hurting me!” His grip on your wrist only got tighter, and you felt a stinging sensation erupt from his fingertips as his gloves disintegrated in front of you.

“It’s Overhaul. Kai is dead.” Your eyes blew wide at his statement. Confusion wracked your body as you searched for an answer.

“Overhaul?! What the fuck are you talking about Kai-” A horrific pain shot through your arm that Kai so aggressively held. Tears spilled harshly down your face as you screamed in pain. Red liquid covers your body as you try to grab the now missing appendage. Searing pain causes you to lose your footing as your salty tears fall on the ground.

Then, the pain stopped.

Your body trembled as you felt your once missing arm now back where it should have been. The sensation of losing something so important still puzzled your body as you tried to grab a sense of what had just happened.

“It's Overhaul, don’t make me tell you again.” The sound of his footsteps leaving your room haunted you as the door closed. Your lungs seemingly couldn’t get enough air as you tried to gasp and heave at the horror of your husband doing something he promised never to do.

~~~

“What could you possibly be depressed about?! What made you so sad that had you scratching yourself with a pencil till you bleed! Fucking pathetic, doing it for attention, aren’t you? You wanna see real cuts?!” The way your mother grabbed your wrist had you wincing in pain as she put your hand on fresh yet scabbing cuts on her arms. Her eyes tearing into yours as she moved your hand across her skin, yelling at you the entire time.

“This is what real depression is! Not your pathetic attempt at attention seeking. God, your so useless! Not everything is about you! Have you ever thought about how I feel?!”

You didn’t know how she found out. You tried everything to keep what you were doing to yourself a secret. Cause you feared what would happen if she saw your freshly open wounds on your arms.

It was the only thing that made you feel better. It took away the pain you felt inside and moved it to where you decided to dig the graphite of your pencil into your skin. The pain it caused numbed the pain you felt inside. It gave you something else to pay attention to. Sometimes, you’d dig the pencil even deeper into your skin, feeling like you deserved the pain you were causing yourself and what you felt inside.

You deserved it, you deserved it, you deserved it repeated in your head as you cry into the dark of your room, scratching the barely healed scars on your arms. Looking up at the ceiling, wondering what you could do to make the pain disappear. You’d cry into your pillows as the feeling of those fresh cuts on your mother's arms still tingled against your fingertips. Dry blood smeared on them with small spots under your nails. Holding your hands together, you look outside at the moon, crying for it to take you away.

You could see the moon shining through the small bathroom window. You got an even greater view with the window being wide open. The crescent moon reminds you of cartoons you used to watch when you were young. 

Candles surrounded you as the lights were turned off to try and calm yourself down. To relieve the anxiety and fear that had been coursing through your veins ever since yesterday. The bath was so warm and inviting as it convinced you to stay longer. To ignore the pain that still ghosted your heart. You didn’t dare leave your bathroom or room, fearing what Kai-Overhaul, would do.

It was such a numbing feeling. Knowing your husband put his hands on you after promising he never would. Breaking a promise, he told you ‘he’d rather die than break.’

Obviously, it didn’t mean anything anymore.

Your heart constricted as you looked up to the moon, begging for answers. Asking what you’d done to deserve this? Asking what you could do to get rid of the numbing feeling that overtook you. To feel something other than emptiness. To escape these all too familiar feelings.

Just then. A shiny glint caught your eye at the rim of the tub.

~~~

The sound of the screaming kettle let you know your tea was finally ready. Grabbing your favorite tea cup, you walk towards the steaming kettle.

Putting your cup on the tray, you grab the kettle before pouring it over the strainer filled with green tea leaves you had already set up. The tea goes into the teapot underneath it. A smile on your face as these times were one of the only times that brought you any sort of happiness. This used to be your husband's favorite, and he quickly had you hooked on it. The smell filled the kitchen with a homey feeling.

You put the teapot on the tray and some tea snacks before you make your way to the living room, only to be stopped by crashing into something immediately. The sound of everything hitting the ground made you cover your ears.

“Oh shit, Mrs. Chisaki, I’m so sorry!” The familiar voice of Gushiken filled the kitchen.

“It's okay. Things happen. It was an accident.” Looking down, you see the tea everywhere, and the teapot shattered into seemingly millions of pieces. Alas, your teacup was nowhere to be found.

“I managed to save the cup, if that means anything.” The man hands you the still intact cup. A breath of relief left your lips as you held the cup tightly, afraid it might drop any second.

“Please, let me help clean up. It’s my fault for not saying I was approaching.” You let out a laugh as you set your teacup away before you crouch down to pick up the broken pieces of what was your least favorite pot anyways. As long as your cup was fine, you were okay.

Making piles of glass, you and him gently grabbed them and threw them away. Mopping up the spilled tea and throwing the tray away in fear of Overhaul throwing a tantrum.

“Hey, what happened to your arm? Did some of the glass get you?” Looking at your arm, you see your long-sleeved shirt exposing minor cuts along your arm. Freezing up, you quickly lie.

“Oh! I guess. I didn’t even notice.”

“Well, can I help wrap it up? My sister was a nurse, and she taught me a few things. It's my fault your hurt anyways.” guilt plagued your mind at his words.

“I…okay.”

~~~

You sat at the kitchen island and watched as Gushiken wrapped up your arms with care. Much kinder and soft than Overhaul has been with you in so long. A feeling filled your body as he tended your wounds. You felt cared for. Like you were worth something to someone.

“There, you should be okay. Just make sure to change it and keep it clean to avoid infection.”

“I will thank you so much, Gushiken.”

“Can I ask you a question? It's kinda personal, so you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.”

“Um, sure? What is it?”

“Why does Overhaul never have you around? He seemingly avoids you life your the plague, and every time your name gets brought up, his brows furrow in disdain.” It was a really personal question he asked, but you were surprised no one else had asked you it earlier. 

“I don’t know. I couldn’t tell you who the man you see before us now is. This man isn’t the man who used to treat me like I was worth more than any jewels he’d gain. He is no longer the man who called me beautiful every chance he could. He’s not the man that asked me to marry him.” Tears brimmed your eyelids as you did your best to avoid crying. You didn’t want to look all red-faced and red-eyed in front of Gushiken.

“I don’t understand. Did a switch just flip inside him? Was there a fight or something?” His confusion was shared as you didn’t understand your husband's reasons either.

“No. Just one day, instead of the black mask he used to always wear, he wore the one that now adorns his face. The one that causes fear to anyone that looks at it. Then, he seemingly turned into a whole other man.” You felt your throat constricting as you try to talk without hiccuping.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Chisaki.” The remorse he expressed in his voice made your body shake as you lowered your head. He couldn’t see how affected you truly were by your husband's actions towards you. It wasn’t his problem that your husband changed.

“You should probably continue working. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Your voice cracked as your lips tremble.

“But-”

“Please.” With a sigh, Gushiken got up from the stool he sat on.

“As you wish, Mrs. Chisaki. I hope you feel better soon.” His footsteps soon ran out of earshot as you simply looked at your knees. You could feel your tears fall on the clothing that covered them. Your problems were your own. Someone as young as him should just be worried about other things. You regret letting your emotions get the best of you and talking about it. 

Not wanting everyone else to see your tears, you get up from the stool and walk down the empty halls toward your room. Not looking up from the floor.

~~~

It was easier to fold laundry with music playing. It helped keep your mind out of all the negative thoughts that plagued it. You made your own little playlist that you liked to listen to during times like this. One specific song you always looked forward to. 

The song that played at your wedding that he danced with you to.

Speaking of said song, the familiar tune soon emitted from your phone. A smile spread on your face as you stopped folding laundry and started to dance along to the haunting melody. Imagining you weren’t dancing alone.

“You look gorgeous, my angel.” His words melted your heart as you looked at the man in front of you with love.

“And you look so handsome. I could stare into your eyes for eternity.” His gaze was so soft, and just being near him made you feel so calm. So safe. Knowing that as long as you were with him, he’d protect you till his dying breath.

“I don’t know how I got so lucky to find you. What did I do to deserve you?”

“I couldn’t imagine myself with another man. You're the only person that’ll forever have my heart.” Your heart thumped inside your chest as you felt him place his forehead against yours. His voice turned into a low hum as the tune matched the song that played around you. You couldn’t help but join along as you danced together, never wanting it to end.

“I’ll love you till my dying breath, my angel.”

“I’d walk around the world just to be with you. Through hell and high water, I’ll never stop loving you.”

The gorgeous melody that once played was soon replaced with another one. Your memory of so long ago tearing your heart in two. Memories of a better time where you were wanted, where you were loved. It haunted you like a ghost no matter what. His ghost haunted you, a ghost of who he used to be.

A ghost you’d still dance with if given the chance.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Hello?” Who could be knocking? All the precepts were on missions, and Overhaul was in a meeting.

“(Y/N)? It’s me, Hari.”

“Come in.” The door opened with a creak, and a familiar masked man emerged.

“I just came to-”

“Take off the mask.”

“Huh?”

“Take off the fucking mask. I see it enough every day, no matter where I go. All I ask is to see the real face of a friend.” A second hesitation before he unclasped the mask to look at you. The face of an old friend finally back.

“You look so much more attractive and friendly without that dumb mask.” A chuckle left his lips as he smiled lightly at you. It reminded you of when you, Overhaul, and Hari would sit outside in the sun and enjoy each other's company. Talking about god knows what.

“I just came here to escort you to Overhaul’s meeting. Other Yakuza leaders have actually been worried about you.” Your eyes widen at his words.

“Really? Thats…nice. It’s been a while since someone has worried about me other than Gus-” You stop at your words, too concerned for his safety.

“Gushiken? Yeah, I’ve noticed you talking to him. But don’t worry, I won’t tell. I’m just happy you have someone to talk to. I’d be there, but-”

“It’s okay. I know ‘Overhaul’ has been running you ragged ever since he started his stupid ‘plan.’ I don’t blame you for not having enough energy. It’s stupid how he pushes his best friend around.” You walk towards Hari, ready to leave the room. Without a word, you feel Hari’s arms wrap around you. It’s been so long since you’ve felt someone's embrace. You hugged him back, happy to be next to an old friend.

“It may not mean much, but I care and worry about you too. Even if I don’t have the time to show it.” You could feel his heartbeat against your chest, but you embraced it.

“Thank you, Hari. That means so much more to me than you know.”

~~~

The meeting was almost over by the time you and Hari arrived. You didn’t worry too much about it, though, as Hari told you, it was still almost over when he went to collect you. With a gulp, you opened the door to see everyone looking at you. You force a smile as you wave to everyone and greet them.

“Ah, it’s so good to see you’re okay, Mrs. Chisaki. We were worried you had come down with something.” Your husband glanced at you before you lied.

“No need to fret. I’ve just been busy with things in the family. Mom’s getting old, and she needs someone to take care of her.” The term mom almost makes you puke in your throat. The thought of doing anything for that woman made your stomach churn.

“You have such a caring wife, Overhaul. I’m jealous.” With a chuckle, the old man speaks to your husband.

“Yes. I’m very proud and happy I married her. She’s truly an angel in disguise.” His words made your heart skip a beat. In pain or in love? You didn’t know. It might have been something to appease the other leaders. Yet, hearing him say such beautiful words about you had you struggle to hold back tears and not jump into his arms. Tell him that you loved him so. The urge was shoved deep down as he called the meeting over which everyone seemingly agreed.

With each leader that passed you, you gently smiled and thanked them for coming. They all sent a smile as well while they exited the room. With that last one leaving, your smile left, and you have your husband who still sat in his chair.

“Everyone except (Y/N) leave.” Your body went rigid as a lump fell in your throat. You look at Hari, and he simply shrugs. You felt him grab your hand and run his fingers over your knuckles before whispering, “You’ll be okay.”. He walked along with two other members that you couldn’t remember. When everyone was gone, you started to fiddle with your fingers to calm down.

“Overhaul is-”

“Shut up, I’m thinking.” You open your mouth to respond but close it just as quickly. 

“I don’t understand. Even without you, they worry about you rather than talk about the plan for a better society.” His brows furrowed as he stood up and walked towards you. Fear paralyzes your body as you watch him stop right in front of you. He moves his gloved hand to put the pad of his index finger underneath your chin. He moved your head up so you could look at one another in the eyes.

“What’s so special about you?” He looks at you with genuine confusion. It felt like it should have been more insulting. Your throat dries as his eyes pierce your soul.

“I don’t know.” Your voice small.

“Other than you being pure and quirkless. There's nothing special about you.” Those words echoed in your head as you remembered how those words would come out of a monster that haunted your past. 

“Then why marry me?” The words left your mouth before you could think. His eyes seemed to widen before going back to stone.

“I don’t know.” His words caused tears to fall from your eyes. They clung to your lashes, making the man in front of you one big blur.

“What happened to you? What happened to my husband? My angel?” His hand moved towards your cheek and wiped away your tears. But why? Why would he show such a display of affection after all this time? Despite all your questions, he remained silent as his gloved hand had yet to move from your cheek. You wanted to lean into it. To enjoy such a foreign touch from your husband. But you couldn’t.

“No…I can’t do this.” you turn away from his hand before running out of the room and away from his touch. You couldn’t handle it. So much time since his last loving touch that it now felt wrong. It wasn’t fair for him to play with your feelings like this. To treat you so horribly and then handle you with such care. It’s cruel.

~~~

“The moon looks so beautiful tonight.” Your voice cuts through the silence as you walk around the compound's roof. Once again, you couldn’t sleep, so what better way to pass the time than look at the moon?

Sitting on the very edge of the compound's walls, you look up to the moon with a blanket wrapped around you. Your heart beating loud enough to echo through your head as a wave of sadness washed over you.

“Everywhere I go, I always end up hurting. Every step of my life has brought me pain. I finally thought he would be the angel to pull me free.” Your lip quivers as you try to understand why.

“I ran away to free myself. I moved to another country, and misery still followed me. It’s like I can never escape. Like I was destined for pain and suffering.” the cold air whispered to you through the breeze, telling you something you couldn’t understand. 

“What other life did I live that caused this? Is there even a timeline where I can be truly happy?” The tears you’ve been holding back finally started to blur your vision.

“They always said things would get better. They promised. My grandparents, teachers, ‘friends,’ and doctors. They all told me to ‘give it time’ and ‘everything will be in your favor.’ I’m tired of waiting!” You clench your fists as you look up to the moon. You were so angry. All the emotions you’ve been bottling up soon turned into angry tears, the cracking of your voice evident as you try to speak.

“I…feel so stupid. For thinking he’d be the cure I needed. The person to chase away everything I tried to leave behind.” The sound of footprints made you freeze as you snapped your head to look behind you.

“Hari? H-How long have you been here?” Hiccups plague your voice even though you try to stop your tears.

“Long enough.” With a few more steps, he was sitting on the edge next to you. There was a few seconds of silence before he spoke.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I wouldn’t want to burden you with my woes. You already got enough on your plate.”

“You could never bother me (Y/N).”

“...” Words seemed impossible as your heart beat against your ribs.

“How about where you used to live?”

“(Country Name). I came here when I was 18.” Such a small question, but you knew that he wanted to know why you were sobbing on the roof.

“Do you come up here often?”

“I’ve been coming more recently. The moon and stars always have comforted me.”

“They are beautiful. I can see why you would.” The silence was awkward, but you enjoyed his company regardless. 

“You’ve been bottling it up for a while, haven’t you? It’s okay. I understand. Talking about stuff like that is…hard.”

“There's not many therapists that want to work for the yakuza.” Hari let out a chuckle, and you couldn’t help but let one out as well. His laughter was always contagious. 

“Do you have any family? I heard grandparents but nothing else. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, though.”

“A brother and sister. I’ve never met my sister, but I grew up with my brother until…” Letting out a sharp exhale, you continue.

“Until he ran away. I was 17, and he was 14. I saw him go to bed, told him I loved him, and went to bed. The next morning, he was gone. He’s never contacted me, and even after all these years, I still can’t find him.” Your hands shake as you look at the ground below you.

“I’m sorry. Would there be a reason he’d just disappear?” It felt like a breath caught in your throat. You haven’t talked about her in so long. Your husband was the only one you told in deep detail about your childhood. Yet, when you look into Hari’s eyes, the care and concern that shine in them remind you of the day you told Kai. You’ve known Hari just as long as Kai, and if what he said earlier was true, then maybe you could get a small bit of the weight on your chest off. 

“My mother.” A deep breath left your lungs as you prepared yourself.

“My mother wasn’t known for her kindness. She had many problems. We’d be here till sunrise if I went into detail.”

“You can tell me whatever makes you comfortable. I promise.”

“Thank you, Hari…” You sent him a small smile as you continued.

“My father wasn’t in the picture, so it was just my mother. My grandparents as well but only visits with them. The house we lived in was on its last legs. Lots of spots were decaying, and we didn’t have the money to fix it. We didn’t have the money for food either. Many nights, my brother and I went hungry.” You glance at the man next to you, and a look of sadness is plastered on it.

“She brought a lot of strange people over. A lot we didn’t know. I didn’t trust any of them, so I ignored all of them and never let my brother out of my sight. Me and him were extremely close during this time, so his disappearance made it that much harder for me.” Tears spill down your cheeks, making them red as the cold air bit them.

“Everything was my fault. No matter what happened, I deserved the punishment and rage. Something so small could cause her to explode. Yet, I couldn’t let my brother be treated like I was, so any mistakes he made, I took the blame. I’m the big sister. My job was to protect and still…”

“No one was there to protect you.” His voice was soft as he stole the words from your mouth. You scooted closer to him just to enjoy his company more and enjoy the body heat he gave off. Knowing he was there calmed you. Your head grew heavy as you just gently placed your head on his shoulder.

“She called me many things. Things that you should never call a child. So many of her words still haunt me to this day. No matter what meds I took, I would still hear them like they were said seconds ago. Back then, I dealt with the pain by hurting myself. There were so many times I felt like I deserved it. Times where I’d cry myself to sleep, yet nothing I did soothed the pain I felt inside. It was like this till I ran away.” 

“I lived on the streets here for a long time. I truly felt hopeless. Worthless. There were so many days where I thought about taking my life. I was an outsider who only spoke basic Japanese. An outsider without a quirk.”

“Can’t imagine how hard it would’ve been. Especially with how people treat the quirkless. You’re very strong for pulling through what you went through. It’s very admirable.”

“You're just saying that.” You joke.

“I mean it.” A smile spread on your face as your heart started to calm down. 

“By some grace of god, I managed to get off my feet. I had a crummy apartment and a crummy job, but I was still thankful. Even though I was thankful, I still felt so…empty? Sad? Numb? Whatever it was, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. My job only paid enough for bills, so like in childhood, many nights I went to bed without eating.” You bite your lips as you try to stop it from trembling.

“I made some ‘friends’ at work, but they didn’t last long. They didn’t want to hang out with someone as sad as me. No matter the meds I took, I never felt complete. I felt like I was still missing something. It was like that until…”

“Until?”

“Until I met Kai. We were grabbing the same cleaning product, and we ended up talking. You know what happens after that.”

“Yeah. You really had him by the throat for a long time.” You both laugh at the memory.

“When I told Kai about my past, he said nothing. Only held my hands. I somehow managed to gather up all my courage to show my scars. I was so afraid. Afraid he’d find me disgusting. A freak, but he told me that my scars didn’t matter. That I was perfect to him. I remember crying. I fell so in love with him at that moment that I knew that he was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.”

“My favorite teacup was the teacup that I was drinking from when he proposed to me. He didn’t get on his knees cause we were in the garden, but he asked me to dance with him. He asked me to marry him while we danced, and I still remember his tone that day. I thought right then that finally, after struggling for so many years, I was going to be happy.” Harsh tears spill down your face as those beautiful memories play through your mind. Pain that there was no longer a connection that used to be.

“I’m so thankful your still Kurono Hari. I don’t know what i’d do if you weren’t.” You heard a gulp come from the man next to you. The feeling of his hand being hesitantly placed on top of yours made your heart skip a beat. Yet, you made no effort to stop him when he intertwined his fingers with yours.

~~~

The day felt a little lighter than others. You didn’t know why, but it was like a breath of fresh air. Talking to Hari a week ago managed to lighten your chest, but there was only so much that talking could do.

He’s been checking up on you so much more than before. He’d tell you good morning and goodnight no matter if he was running late. He managed to make time in his hellish schedule to talk and see you. It brought a smile to your face every time. He turned into a small light that you looked forward to seeing every day. Despite the sadness that still ate away at you, you were happy you had him to talk to.

While you were no chef, you wanted to make him something as a thank you. Which led you to where you are now. Drinking out of your favorite teacup while baking cookies. You hoped he liked chocolate chip.

“Something smells good. What are you making?” Spinning your head, you see Gushiken walking up to you. 

“Chocolate chip cookies.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“For a friend. Hope he likes them cause they’re the only cookies I know I can make well.” You both laugh before continuing.

“How’d you get so good?”

“It was my brother's favorite. I didn’t make it often. But when I did I took my time to memorize it.”

“Wow. Lucky him to have a kind sister.”

“I was lucky if I got past the dough stage. He’d always eat it. I’ll never understand how he didn’t get salmonella.” Gushiken laughed.

“You’d be the same age as him. Sometimes I see him in you.” You laugh to avoid the ache in your chest. It was true. Something about him reminded you of your brother. It could be his unusually happy personality. How he’d talk about his interests with such excitement. Not to mention he had the same hair color as him. That being said, you felt a familiar gut feeling to protect. To make sure no one would hurt him. It’s been so long since you’ve felt it so strongly.

“My sister was like you too. Funny huh? When I first saw you I thought you were her! Then again, it was almost pitch black…” Laughing, you continue stirring the dough, almost finished.

“Can you grab me the cookie cutters? They're in the bottom left drawer.” Sending you a thumbs up, Gushiken went digging through the drawer. Grabbing some parchment paper and flour, you lay it on the counter so it's ready to cut the dough.

“Found them!”

“Great, now wash your hands. I won’t be able to cut cookies all by myself.” That was a lie. You’ve done it before, but something inside you spoke before you thought. Maybe it was the hole in your heart that your brother left, trying to heal itself. Somehow, without seeing his face, the smile he wore managed to repair a small part.

The sound of water running and the rolling pin doing its job echoed throughout the kitchen.

“Alright! I’m done!” Excitement was evident in Gushiken's voice as he stood in front of the flattened cookie dough.

“Okay, I need you to cut as much as you can. I lost track of time, and dinner will be late if I don’t start now.” Without being told twice, He got right to work.

“What are you making for dinner?”

“Kani salad with some fruits and whatever drink. It’s one of Overhaul’s favorites, so I’m hoping it will calm him down some.”

“I hope so too. I’ve got a mission he's putting me on tomorrow. A first real mission! Not some lame patrol thing or something that leaves me stuck in the base!” A twinge of panic hit your chest at his words. A ‘new recruit’ only being here for five months and being placed on a mission? You couldn’t help but be suspicious and extremely worried. Missions are usually reserved for people who have been here long and have shown their worth. A sinking feeling boiled in your gut.

“Oh? Wow. Not many people get to go on missions this early here…especially not with someone as young as yourself.” You try to hide the uneasiness you feel inside. He didn’t need to see you start panicking. Maybe overhaul got him mixed up with another recruit. He’d been extremely overloaded with stress recently, so maybe he got something mixed up.

“Really?! So he must think I'm doing a great job! That’s perfect!”

“Yeah…perfect.”

~~~

The uneasy feeling never left since you last talked to Gushiken. You desperately wanted to tell him that he shouldn’t take the mission. But, he seemed so determined to prove his worth that you didn’t have the heart in you to crush it in front of him. Plus, it was definitely a misunderstanding. No way Overhaul would put him on a mission so early. 

You haven’t seen Gushiken since your guys talk. Which would have been 5 days after today. It really bothered you not knowing how it went or how it was going. You wanted to ask Overhaul, but he'd probably say it was none of your business like always. Maybe you could ask Hari? That’s if you can catch him. He’s even more busy than he was before! He says good morning, passing by you and running to his next task. How he hasn’t collapsed you’ll never know. 

“(Y/N)?” The sound of the door opening made you look sit up from your bed. Hari stood outside with his mask hidden in his pocket. A distressed face looked back at you.

“Oh Hari! What do you need? You seem upset?” You go to get up only to be stopped mid-action.

“I think you should sit down.” With your brows furrowed, you look at him before slowly sitting back down.

“What's going on?” Closing the door behind him, he hid something behind his back. Continuing to hide it until he sat next to you on the bed. He sent you another sorrowful look before pulling out a familiar mask from behind his back.

“I’m sorry (Y/N), but he’s not coming back.” Handing you the mask that should have concealed the face of Gushiken.

“I-I don’t understand…Where is he? This has to be a joke. A sick joke right?” You looked at Hari pleading that what he was implying was a lie.

“Please tell me it’s a joke, Hari.”

“I’m sorry. He’s not coming home.” Your heart stopped as you looked at the man in front of you with wide eyes. Tears soon pour down your face like a facet as you grip the mask tight. Begging this to be a horrible nightmare. You couldn’t have another important person to you ripped away without a second thought. You should have told him how you felt, tell him not to go on that stupid mission. Now he was gone, and you failed to protect someone you cared about once more.

“(Y/N) there's a random man on the couch again. He’s scary.” The sound of your little brother's voice broke through your slumber.

“Really? Hmm.” You struggle to understand why your mother allowed another random man into her home. Into a home she shared with her two children.

“Here, you can sleep with me. Does that sound good?” You sent a small smile to your brother. Without being told twice, your brother got into your bed. You felt the covers shift as he scooted closer to you. A quiet sigh left your lips as you held him in your arms. Making sure that he felt safe.

“I’ll always protect you. I’ll never let anyone hurt you.” The moonlight shone through your shades, giving your room a comforting glow. A feeling as if you were shielded by the cruel world outside your bedroom door.

“I promise, that I’ll protect you till my dying breath. As long as I’m alive, you’ll never need to fear.”

“Where is Overhaul?”

~~~

The sound of his office door bursting open and hitting the wall caused his thoughts to escape. He looked at the entrance and saw a fuming woman with angry tears rolling down her face. Her body shook as hatred flooded her eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” His words only seemed to fuel her rage as she stomped up to his desk.

“I could say the same! How could you send someone so young to go on such a dangerous mission?!”

“Ah, you must be talking about that recruit-”

“Gushiken Taro! That was his name!” You grit your teeth at your husband's words.

“He was an expendable. We needed a distraction for the mission.”

“He was a someone! He wasn’t just some pawn! He was someone who had his whole life in front of him, only for you to sniff it out!” Slamming the boy's mask on the desk. Getting up from his desk, he looked at you with annoyance. Clearly, you were taking this loss to personally, and that mask you held didn’t help.

“Give me that mask. It’s making you unreasonably upset.” Your husband reached out, only for you to jerk it away quickly.

“Don’t touch it!” A frown was evident from behind his mask as he tried again, yet failing.

“Damnit (Y/N)! Give me that fucking mask!” Taking off his glove, you held the mask tighter to your chest. You weren't gonna let him take away the last thing you had left of him.

“Give. It. To. Me. Now!” With another reach, you move your body to cover the body. As soon as his fingers touched your skin, a searing pain hit you. Every nerve explodes with excruciating pain. It felt as if every cell in your body was being pulled apart. The pain felt so long, yet it could have only been a few seconds before you felt your body quickly being put back together. 

Your body hit the ground with a loud thud. You threw up from the sheer shock, and you could see a small amount of blood even through your teary vision. The mask you had just held dear right next to the door.

“(Y/N) I-I..”

“You…killed me…” You saw him move closer to you, but you scoot away in fear, your back hitting the wall in the process. 

“Don’t come near me! Get away!” You cried in terror as your heartbeat echoed in your ears. 

“(Y/N) Please, I-”

“You really are a monster.” The man above you looked at you in shock. His golden eyes showing more emotion than you’ve ever seen since your wedding with him. You stood up as you hugged the wall, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

“It was an accident (Y/N), I promise!” You only shook your head as you looked into his eyes. 

“For all these years, months, and days, I told myself that you were my cure. That someday, the love of my life would come back to me. That one day, Overhaul would die, and Kai would come back.” Your voice shaky as the air in the office felt poisonous.

“But now…I see that I was a fool. A pathetic, weak fool who held onto false hopes. Trying to pick up the pieces of promises that you broke as you destroyed anything that got in the way of your plan. Destroying everything that the man I once knew would never think of doing. Even through that, I stuck beside you. Because I remember you telling me you’d love me till your dying breath. I was a fool to believe you. I was a fool…for thinking anyone could fall in love with me.” Your body shook violently as you struggled to get air in your lungs.

“You're so cruel. Telling me lies. Calling me horrible names. Hurting me. I-”

“Please (Y/N) forgive me-”

“No. Not anymore. I hate you, Overhaul, and I hate you, Kai Chisaki. I wish I never met you.” Without another word, you grabbed the mask by the door and ran out of the office. Your footsteps echo in the halls, along with your sobs.

~~~

Gushiken's favorite place in the entire compound was the cherry blossom that stood in the backyard. He said that he’d go there to relieve stress from the work day. Saying the falling petals were his worries leaving him as he’d look up to the bright blue sky.

Knowing that, you decided to bury what was left of him right beside the trunk. That way, he will always be at his favorite spot. Watching the petals fall from the beautiful tree and looking up at the sky for eternity. You could even see the other pretty flowers you planted on his grave from on top of the compound roof. 

Hari was out on a mission before you were able to give him his letter. You poured the rest of the love you had to give into the letter. You supposed it was for the best. It makes things easier for him later. You hate to leave him without answers, but…

A shaky breath left your lips as tears poured down your face. The wind blew them off your cheeks with each breeze. Its cold bite attacking your skin as your hair flowed slightly through the wind. The faint smell of cherry blossoms in bloom surrounded you.

Looking up at the night sky, you see the moon watching you from above. With trembling legs, you moved closer to the edge of the compound roof. You simply wished to get a better look. You reached your hand out as if to touch the moon. A smile appears on your tear-ridden face.

“Finally. After all these years, I can be with you, my dear friend.” With a final exhale of breath, you step over the haunting edge of the roof. For once, a sense of peace embraced you as gravity played its part and pulled you back down to the ground.

The moon and stars shined brighter as they danced around the new star in the sky, the long awaited friend of the moon.

[hikari-hellspawn]

ART COMMISSIONS OPEN! FINANCIAL HELP DESPERATELY NEEDED!

The title is what it says on the tin; I'm opening up art commissions, because after my next paycheck I don't know how much I'll be getting after that, or how much, and I'm desperate for work and some kind off income because I am literally in danger of losing a place to live. I need need NEED income if I want to continue to, well, live.

My Ko-Fi

My deviantART

NOTICE: I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REJECT ANY COMMISSIONS THAT I DEEM INAPPROPRIATE. THIS INCLUDES ART CONTAINING HATE SPEECH/HOMOPHOBIA/TRANSPHOBIA/APHOBIA/RACISM/BIGOTRY/ANTISEMITISM/ETC.

How do I pay you? I take payments via my Ko-fi or PayPal (h.m.reed@mail.com), half before I start the sketch and the other half on delivery. That is set in stone; I will not accept any kind of cryptocurrency or things like Amazon or Walmart gift cards as payment. None of those can be used to pay rent, and paying rent is exactly what I need.

Do you do NSFW? Not at present; I'm not comfortable drawing NSFW content, though doing shirtless and swimsuits are fine. However I won't draw sex, and I won't draw straight-up full-frontal nudity.

Do you do furries/anthros? I'm not gonna lie, I don't have much experience drawing anthros--THAT BEING SAID, if you want to commission me to draw an anthro character or your fursona, it's definitely on the table and I'll do my danged best--even if it takes a bit longer than non-furry/anthro characters.

Do you draw mecha? I...have zero experience drawing mecha. Do I like mecha anime? Yes (Evangelion my beloved). So this is a soft no on my part, purely because of my own lack of skill with the subject matter.

Do you draw horror and/or gore? Hard no. Not simply because I can't draw said gore (which I can't, same reasons as the mecha explanation above), but because it's another one of those things that I'm not 100% comfortable drawing at the moment.

^HOWEVER, this question comes with a caveat: I will draw eldritch horror. Y'know, eyes where they don't belong, tentacles, pulsating masses, bodies that're just...weird? Those are fun. So, negotiable, but keep in mind that if you want slasher-type stuff that ain't my jam.

Will you send me progress pics? YES. At every stage of the process, I'll both scan the image and take photos to make sure that what I'm working on is the direction you want to go.

What about reference images? If you have references you want to provide, whether they're drawn by you, someone else, google image search, etc, then I'd appreciate it so I have an idea of what your character looks like. Written descriptions are also fine if you don't have any visuals--basically, if you know what your character looks like and you have some way to communicate that to me in a way that puts us both on the same page, we're good.

Can I use your art as an NFT? NO. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL I ACCEPT A COMMISSION TO CREATE NFTS, IF THAT IS THE REASON YOU WANT TO COMMISSION ME THEN GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE.

Can I use your art to train an AI algorithm? NO. AI art is the reason why artists like myself are being pushed out of work; if you're only commissioning me to get hold of some works so that you can train an algorithm to make more based on my style, then you don't actually want to buy art; you're just looking for some excuse to screw yet another artist over.

If I don't have the money right now, can I just pay you the full amount later? While I understand the desire to buy art but not having the funds, the whole reason I'm opening commissions is because I don't have enough money to survive. Paying me half now and half upon completion is non-negotiable, because I can assure you my need to be able to make rent and feed the Fuzzballs (aka the cats, please ask me about them I will go total Maes Hughes on them because they are PERFECT) is as strong as yours to make sure your expenses are covered as well.

Are the prices negotiable? To an extent, though the prices you see in the image above are the minimum; I won't go lower than these.

I want something that isn't listed on here/I have an unusual request, can you do it? That is something we'd have to negotiate, but it's not off the table. I do some weirdo drawings for myself in my free time (I've graced several servers I'm in on discord with the little wonders known as Eyeshrooms, no I will not elaborate here), so I can do other weird stuff too (as long as it's SFW).

Do you have more art examples I can look at? Yes! I have a deviantART page, though due to the company's own exploitative and artist-harming features they've rolled out, I've been working on glazing everything in my gallery there (if you haven't heard of Glaze and Nightshade, they're both really cool and you ought to check them out, seriously I really really really want to start using them both on my art SO BAD but I CAN'T) and migrating to Inkblot and Cara.app. Once I have links to both of those, I'll add them to the post!

You said traditional art...can you do digital? No, unfortunately; I don't have a device powerful enough to run a good art program (not for a lack of trying; attempts at experimenting with Krita have only resulted in it crashing the laptop I've been using, which is bad because it isn't even mine), nor do I have the funds to be able to get one--and I don't know when, or if, that'll happen. This circles back to the initial problem; I don't have the funds to pay for what I need to survive, which means I literally cannot afford to save for a new, more powerful laptop for myself. As it is, I've been borrowing my roommate's laptop for everything I need to do that requires the use of a computer, as mine died back in 2020 and I haven't been able to scrape together enough to even get a bare-bones basic one myself.

If there are any other questions you need me to answer, then please please PLEASE send them to me in a DM here and I'll do my best to answer them! And please, I'm begging you, I'm begging you so much, even if you don't buy something please spread this around I need the income desperately. I'm not lying when I say that my ability to continue living is in danger, I literally do not know if I'll even be able to pay my rent next month. I need every penny I can get, just to be able to have a chance of surviving, and what determines if I can keep a roof over mine and the cats' heads and if we're out on the street with nowhere to go is very much determined by if I can get commission work. So even if you can't buy anything, or only get a headshot or two, please spread the word. Reblog this. Share it in tweets. Post the link to this post on Facebook, link it on Discord, if you have friends who are looking to commission art tell them because I'm desperate and terrified that I might not have a place to live come October. I'm begging, please, I need the help. I need the help more than I can put into words. I don't want to die.

(Also big shoutout to @nomnomroko for putting together the commission sheet, thank you so much!)

[f1-disaster-bi]

Thank you 🫂 my sister used to do it for me too but we don't live close to each other anymore so it's quiete of a rare thibg now but at least my friends eat everything i can't eat 😂

Can we maybe have landos reaction to the first time martin does that? I would just strsight up cry but i think lando is much cooler than i am 😂😂

I'm glad your sister was able to do that for you and that you've good friends 🥺❤️

They were barely seated when Lando could feel the anxiety creeping in.

The menu's were set down in front of them, and Lando almost felt like getting sick. His stomach was swirling as he lifted a thumb to his mouth. He thanked the waiter politely, shared a soft look with Martin and bit at the edge of his thumb. The little sting of pain helped in ground him for a moment.

He stared at the menu as if it was an enemy.

In a way, it was. Lando had always had a complicated relationship with food that people tried to label as 'picky', but that wasn't it. The taste and text of fish genuiely made him gag. He couldn't stand certain spices without feeling gross. He was suspicious of new foods after so many attempts to get him to 'grow up', and all that had left him with was this fear almost of outing out.

It was fine when he knew the restaurant. The anxiety he was feeling didn't creep in in familiar places because he knew what he could eat. He didn't have to struggle through the menu trying to figure out if he could eat something or pick around parts of a dish. He could simply order his favourite thing, joke with his friends or Martin about it and have a good night but this place was new.

Lando had wanted to try here, and he had meant to google the restaurant but he just hadn't had time. He had been too caught up in life and racing to find time to analyse the menu and now he could feel the embarassment creeping in along with the frustration.

He reached for the menu after a moment, gaze flicking to Martin who was scanning his own menu, and he took a deep breath to steady himself as he opened it.

"If you look under the pasta dishes, there's a pasta you love that is okay for you to eat. They have a chicken dish here too. It comes with some veg I don't know if you'd like but I think I'm going to get the steak and we can swap my chips for your veg", Martin spoke up before Lando even started making his way through the starters, "We can get the veg in a seperate dish so it doesn't mix, makes it easier to swap. There's a few other dishes you like too, but some of them have ingridents you're not fond of, but I could always taste test it if you wanted to try one"

Lando almost dropped his menu as he stared at Martin.

He almost wanted to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't imaginging what had just happened. There was no way that this was real. That Martin had scanned the menu, not for himself, but to make sure that there was something Lando could eat and that he had just come up with solutions to any possible issues.

There was a little bit of a lump in his throat as he reached for his water, needing something to ground him for a moment because this was overwhelming in the best of ways as Martin looked at him with a soft smile.

"Everything okay?", Martin offered Lando his hand across the table, squeezing his fingers around his gently before soothing a thumb across his knuckles, "I looked up the menu a few days ago but wanted to double check it was the same. That's why I was quiet, I know trying new places is not fun for you so I wanted to be able to help. Is that okay?"

Lando could feel tears prinking his eyes as he nodded, trying to find his words as he lifted their hands to kiss Martin's knuckles.

"It's perfect. You're perfect" Lando managed to get out a little hoarsely, "No one has ever done that for me before"

Martin just gave him a bright smile, soft and sweet and loving as he squeezed there fingers together again.

"Well, I want to. I want you to be comfortable and enjoy this", Martin said as if it was just that simple, and maybe it was.

Maybe it could be as simple as Martin helping him navigate tmenu's and coming up with solutions to allow Lando to enjoy eating out in a way he never had before. Always too nervous and too concious of his choices and habits to feel comfortable eating out.

Maybe that could change.

"Thank you", Lando whispered, ducking his head a little to hide the tears pricking his eyes as he sniffled.

"You don't need to thank me", Martin replied, thumb brushing his knuckles again, "I love you, and this is something I can do for you so no thanks you, yeah?"

"I love you too", Lando smiled, finally relaxing fully as took in the loving look on Martin's face.

Maybe it could really be this easy.

[nyx-v1]

Hey! I dont know if you do requests/suggestions or not but once you're done w/ your twst boys reacting to your funeral series (fantastic btw makes me wanna roll over and cry everytime) do you think you could write whatever twst boys are your favorite to write for's reaction to finding Yuu/Y/n's ghost? If you don't feel like it feel free to delete this!

TWST Boys reacting to finding your ghost

Here you go Anon! <3

TWST boys reactions to your death:[Heartslabyul],[Savanaclaw], [Octavinelle][Scarabia]

Heartslabyul 

Riddle

The first time he sees you is in Heartslabyul's rose garden. It was late at night and he had forgotten his notebook in the garden, knowing he would need it for the next day Riddle had gone out to get it. 

When he gets there he finds you sitting at the table where he left his notebook. Riddle stands frozen unsure if his mind is just playing tricks on him or not . He slowly approaches you, the closer he gets the colder the air becomes. When he is a foot or two from your ghost you vanish. Slightly disturbed Riddle grabs his notebook and heads back to his room.

The second time he sees you is a few days later. Just as Riddle is about to get into bed, out of the conner of his eye he sees a figure. Alarmed he quickly whips his head around, this time he is sure he's not just seeing things, and you are in fact in his room. Riddle doesn't move from his spot instead he calls out to you, and much to his surprise you turn around at the sound of your name.

Riddle stands still as your ghost approaches him, what keeps him frozen in places is when you give him a hug he can't feel.

He tries to return your embrace on you only to find  that he can't feel you, as the sudden contact  made you vanish.

Riddle spends days waiting for you to show up again, staying up into the late hours of the night, messing up his once perfect sleep schedule.

The third time you appear Riddle is at his desk studying, waiting for you. This time he's ready to not mess up,  he wants to make sure he can at least get the words he had for you off his chest.

When you appear on his bed he walks over to it and sits down next to you, leaving enough space so you wouldn't touch. He let's out a shaky breath before speaking," Prefect, do you know how many rules you've broken by dying?" He isn't surprised you lack of response, from what he's seen it only seems you just watch, so he continues his  monologue, "As upset as I am, I'll forgive you this once, so please don't leave me."

After riddle finishes his speech, he feels a warm feeling wrapping around him, like someone's hugging him as he hears a soft whisper," I won't ever leave you, take care of yourself, Riddle ."

That was the last time he saw your ghost.

Trey

Trey was baking for an unbirthday party when an open bag of flour got knocked over. At first he thinks nothing of if, believing  he has placed the bag to close to the edge. By the fourth time he's starting to get suspicious. When the bag gets knocked off for the fifth time, he places the bag in front of him so he can watch. When he swears he sees something push the bag off the counter, and in a moment of delusion he ask "who's there?". Much to his dismay what ever was messing with him decides to communicate by writing in the flour.

He watches as you struggle to write in the flour. Trey goes from amused to horrified when he sees what was spelt out in front of  him, a very poorly spelt and written "I'm watching you". Slightly scared for his life, trey quickly cleans up the mess and continues on with his day.

When Trey is about to go to sleep he feels very paranoid, as common as ghost are whatever tried to talk to him today seemed slightly different from Twisted Wonderland's normal ghosts. Deciding to put his mind to ease Trey googles easy ways to talk to spirits. He goes through a few articles, before picking something that seemed easy and like it would work.

Trey goes through his room and finds and old piece of chalk that he uses to copy the symbol off of the website, After he says a  small chant, much to his surprise the little chant works, he knows because your blurry and (very) vague ghost appears in front of him.

He adjusts his glasses before giving an awkward smile, "Hey there.. do you need something?" trey tries to sound polite and clam but deep down he's freaking out, he would like to live past 18.

Trey watches in anticipation waiting for something to happen.

Doing your best to communicate with Trey you take the chalk he used earlier, to write a short message," It's me" unfortunately for you you're ghost powers aren't all that good yet, so shortly after writing you disappear. 

This leaves Trey freaked out yet again, he convinced he's upset some sort of spirt, or maybe after death you've sent a  evil spirt after him.

A few days pass as you realize that you've messed up and have started tormenting poor Trey.So you deiced to use you strength to appear to him, in hopefully a more friendly manner.

It's early in the morning and trey is up cooking breakfast, when you decide to pay him a visit.

Trey was in the middle baking when you showed up, causing him drop the his bowl onto the floor. When he takes a good look at what is in fount of him he is sure it's you coming for a visit.

"[name]?" trey asks a pretty obvious question.

"Nooooo, it's another ghost." You let a sarcastic response, to which Trey laughs in response too.

"My bad prefect, I hope you'll forgive me?" 

You nodded your head in response to trey. You move closer to him , Trey stays still in response, having seen his fair share of horror movies he knows that sudden movement could cause you to leave at any second. Trey has small bit of flour on his face, he watches as you spread it all over his face, as you let out a small laugh, " You know Trey, I didn't expect you to be so clam about seeing a  ghost."

Trey lets out a small laugh," Ah well I didn't ever think I would really meet one." with a small pause trey continues," But you know, everyone misses you, and they would love to see you too. But if I'm being honest right now I want to be a little selfish, and think you just came to see me..." His voice trail off at the last part, looking at your face for a reaction, and to his surprise he sees a small smile on your face.

" You can be selfish trey.... and just so you know your the only person I've come to see."

you give trey a small kiss on the check before disappearing.

After that trey hasn't seen or heard your ghost in a while, but he knows you're there when he catches a glimpse of your ghost fallowing him around, true to your word you haven't visited anyone else.

Cater

The first time Cater catches a glimpse of your ghost is in the background of one his recent photos. At first he thinks it was a bad shot, but when in then next couple of photos he sees the same mysterious blob thing in the background moving he know it must be a ghost! Cater really hopes that the ghost in his photos is you. Why does he hope that? It may or may not come from all the super natural romance he's watched thanks to his sisters.(and the part of him that is a hopeless romantic)

Being the smart person he is, he decides to get a Ouija board and try to contact the ghost in his photos, you.

It's a dark and rainy Saturday when Cater sits down to contact your spirt. He sits in his room curtains drawn with a bunch of candles lit, all scented of course.

Cater puts his hands on the planchette, asking "Is anyone there?"

To his surprise the planchette moves towards yes. Being honest Cater didn't think the Ouija board would work.

Despite his horror he continues asking questions, "Who are you?"

He's genuinely happy when he sees the start of your name being spelt and even more happy when your name is fully spelt out.

Cater continues to ask questions, to your ghost, until he ends up falling asleep.

The next morning Cater wakes up to all the candles in his room being blown out, and he is slightly surprised because the last thing he remembers is talking to you.

Later that day when cater comes back to his room he absolutely ecstatic to see sitting by the  Ouija board.

"You know you forgot to say goodbye."

Cater lets out a small chuckle as he rushes to your side, getting close but not close enough to touch your ghost.

He starts taking a selfies from all different angles while telling you to make different poses and faces.

When he's finshed taking photos he sits down next to your ghost, letting out a little sigh as he closes his eyes," You know prefect I've missed you, it's no fair you get to go dying like that? tots not cool to just ghost me like that!"

"Cater did you just make a ghost pun?"

"You've must have heard something."

you let out a small giggle scooting closer to Cater.

Cater stays frozen in place, as you move closer towards him," Don't miss me to much, Cater." You brush the hair away from his face, before vanishing.

For a while you show up in Caters photos in someway, but as the more time passes the less frequent your appearance become, until one day they just stop.

Cater takes all the photos that you showed up and prints them out, putting them into a special little photo book.

Ace  and Deuce  (let's face it they're never apart)

Ever science your un-timely death Ace and Deuce haven't spent much time apart, now they're practically attached at the hip.  As much as they fight they won't spend more that 20 minutes apart.

So of course the first time they meet your ghost  they're together.

The first time they had  contact with your ghost was when the two of them where at Ramshackle, going through your stuff, taking things that Grim might need or want (not their idea it was Trey's).While going through your stuff they hear a faint whisper that sounds like gibberish.

 This freaks the two out so bad  that they run out of the dorm, and don't sleep that night.

The next incident is during a test, Deuce was stuck on one question and couldn't think of the answer, when his pencil rolled onto on of the answers and didn't get off untill he chose it, he tells Ace abut this but Ace tells him he's crazy.

Ace first encounter was after basketball practice, he was staying behind alone in the locker room.

While he was just  waiting in the locker room, something fell out of his basketball locker, he wouldn't have paid much attention to it if it wasn't for what fell. The key chain you had bought for him had fallen off his bag, this freaks him out but not enough to tell Deuce.

The first time they see your ghost is when they are visiting your grave, there they see you  sitting on top of your grave stone.

Ace starts by gently pushing Deuce towards you ,but neither want to approach so Deuce calls out, "Prefect?"

 To their surprise, you turn your head, calling out the them "Deuce!Ace! You know I was trying to get your attention right?"

The two of the quickly turn around, and whisper to each other about whether what they where seeing was real or not. When your ghost approaches them from behind, leading to Ace and Deuce screaming.

Ace was the first to break the silence,"You're real right?Like this isn't some joke?"

You gently flick both of their heads,in demonstration that you where indeed real,"Of course I am."

Much to your surprise the two tackle you into a hug,somehow.

The three of you stand in a tight group hug.

Much to there dismay after a few minute you disappear .

Determined to see your ghost one last time the two try a lot of dumb rituals to contact your spirt, none work.

That's until two days later when they go back to their shared room. When they open the door to their room your sitting on Aces bed, while deuce tries to rush to you ace stop him, telling him the contact could have been what caused to to vanish the first time.

Understanding this the two sit down on the floor in front of you.

You spend hours talking to ace and deuce telling them how much you care for them and how grateful you where for them. Deuce also spills his heart to you, telling you how much he missed you and how he wants you back. what surprises you the most is when ace returns the feelings.

After one last heart filled hug you disappear, this time for good.

[hangmanbrainrot]

Hi! I wanted to request for a hangman fic based on that Tiktok where the girl texts her bf asking where he is because somebody just sent her pics of him getting into some girl’s car and after a little banter, he asks for the pic and it’s a picture of a cockroach getting into a toy car 🤣

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiYL43Dv719/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

This was fun! I got none of the other writing done tonight that I wanted to! But I did this and it made me laugh so that's cool!

harmless fun

jake seresin x reader; 395 words; no warnings; written on mobile so be kind to me, pls. ❤

Truth be told, you knew you were needlessly testing the bounds of your boyfriend's love, all for a tiktok. But it would be fun... right?

I can't believe you would do this to me, Jake.

Babe I told you I'd be home when the game is over. Not ditching you

Not that. You know what you did.

What did I do???

You set your phone down, mostly because the fit of giggles you'd devolved into made it harder and harder to hold it and sit upright. You wondered for a moment how long you'd be able to sustain the joke, but thought it best to enjoy the moment. Jake Seresin was many things, but foremost he was actually a great and loyal partner — which only made this whole ordeal funnier. He was an attractive man, and he knew it, so that sometimes was... misread by strangers. Hell, it had taken 3 progressively more dramatic attempts for him to get your attention — and keep it long enough to ask you out on a date. And now look at you: all starry-eyed and wearing the man's old t-shirt while you did dishes in what was technically his house. You'd just moved in a good awhile ago.

And then you realized, in your efforts to be a good housemate and not leave your dirty dishes in the sink for your partner to come home to, you'd totally left him hanging in the middle of a joke that wouldn't seem like a joke if you forgot the punchline.

Hello??

Babe?

Missed call Jake

Can you at least tell me what I did

Missed FaceTime call Jake

Please

Fine!

He'd left you the perfect opening to claim you were waiting it out, but he'd replied in seconds anyway. Just a simple ok. You knew he was growing anxious, and you'd need to wrap this up soon. Poor guy. You could practically see his knee bouncing.

One of my friends just sent me a picture of you getting into a car with another girl!

???

I'm literally sitting here watching the game with Javy. Last I checked, he's not a girl

And then: Send me the picture. Let me see. Please

You were giggling again by the time you hit send on the picture you'd stolen from a quick Google search. Seconds later, your boyfriend replied:

I'm on my way home.

And you just knew he was already planning his revenge.

[hear-that-music-in-the-air]

Helping Hand

My first RD fic! I haven't written proper fanfic in a hot minute but the little pixel people grabbed me by the throat and opened my google docs

Also shoutout to @nightmun for helping me visualize Ian's silly little mug

Summary: After seeing Ada struggle with the rhythm treatments, Ian comes up with a way to help her out.

Fic under the read-more :)

—

Dr. Edega loomed over her, his eyes boring into her back over the top of his clipboard.

"I expect better from you, Dr. Paige. Times are changing. If you can't keep up, then maybe you're not cut out for this job after all,” he said lowly.

Ada couldn't meet his gaze. Instead she stared down at her hands, balled into trembling fists, as her heart pounded in her ears. Burning tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and she immediately felt ashamed, like a child being scolded.

She had messed up. She had been treating a patient with the rhythm defibrillator and started to panic as soon as she lost track of the tempo. Ian had frantically swooped in to take over and finished the treatment smoothly, while Ada had watched, feeling numb.

She was distantly aware of Ian pushing past her, positioning himself between her and Edega.

"D-Dr. Edega, sir—this is a very new, experimental treatment method. We're still working out the kinks and—and no one's going to be perfect at it right away."

"That's no excuse. There's no room for mistakes when lives are on the line. You both know that."

"N–Not every case we get is life-threatening," Ian said, and she was faintly surprised at the edge of anger creeping into his tone. "And she'll practice. She can—"

Edega pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"I don't care what she does as long as her performance improves. See to it that she receives more training as soon as possible. And keep looking for any bugs in the program in the meantime."

Ian opened his mouth to say something else, but was silenced by a single look from Edega. He shrunk into himself.

"Y–Yes, sir. Of course."

Edega turned on his heel and strode out of the room, leaving a heavy silence behind him. Ada didn't realize that she was still shaking until Ian placed a tentative hand on her shoulder.

"Ada?" His voice sounded so far away, as though he were speaking to her from underwater. She attempted to pull herself back, focusing on the warmth of his hand as a grounding point. She placed her own fingers unsteadily over his and gave him a tremulous smile.

“I’m…okay.”

Ian watched her face, brow furrowed in concern.

"He—he shouldn't speak to you like that. I—I hate it."

She sniffled and quickly swiped at the tears that were threatening to spill under her glasses. She took a deep breath and straightened, attempting to look professional instead of pathetic.

"No. He's right. We can't afford to make stupid mistakes in this line of work. And it’s not…it’s not just him.” She remembered the way the patient’s heart rate had spiked on the monitor when she missed a beat, and let out a shaky sigh. “I just...can't stop thinking about what might have happened if you weren't here."

Ian frowned.

"Ada. You can't go beating yourself up over what might have happened."

"Sure I can," she joked weakly. Ian didn't laugh.

"We're—we're all trying our best here," he continued. "And Edega doesn't see how much you do for the patients every day. He barely comes out of his office, and when he does it's only to—to reprimand us for something or other. Everyone else in this hospital loves you. You—you're a good doctor, Ada."

As she stared at him, all of the tears that she had swallowed came rising back up in her throat. She let her head fall against his shoulder with a soft thump, and a quiet sob escaped her. She felt Ian freeze for a moment, uncertain, before he awkwardly wrapped an arm around her. She leaned into the warmth.

"Sorry," he whispered. "Not really a hugger."

Ada let out a watery laugh.

"I know, doofus. Thank you."

She pulled back and tried in vain to wipe the tear stains from his coat.

“Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m crying all over you. This is gross.”

“Yeah, a little bit,” Ian said. “But that’s okay.”

Ada collapsed into a nearby chair, suddenly feeling indescribably exhausted. She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes before letting out another long sigh. Ian sat down next to her, awkwardly rubbing the back of his hand.

"Personalized care, comforting patients, that's what I'm good at,” Ada said. “You're the one who’s amazing at all the technical stuff.” 

She stared up into the harsh light of the overhead fluorescents, letting her vision go blurry. 

“All Edega seems to care about is getting people in and out of treatment as quickly as possible. Seems like if he has his way, pretty soon everything will be done remotely. I guess I just feel kind of useless,” she muttered.

“You’re not useless,” Ian said quietly.

Ada made a noncommittal sound.

“Like you said, there’s so many other things you’re good at. Trust me, Ada, we—we’ll always need you. You’re everyone’s favorite doctor. Otherwise, they’d all be stuck with me,” he joked.

She attempted to muster a smile, but she knew it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Ian frowned again and fell silent for a long moment, seemingly lost in thought. Then he stood abruptly, nearly startling her out of her seat.

“Oh! I—I might actually know a way to help you!” he cried, pacing excitedly. “M–Meet me in the basement when you come in tomorrow.”

Ada blinked up at him, baffled. “Oh…um…okay? What—?”

Ian was already gone, scurrying down the hallway towards the door that led to the basement. Ada shook her head bemusedly, before scooping up her clipboard from the nearby table to see which patient she needed to check on next. She took a moment and closed her eyes, mentally preparing for the rest of her shift. 

Deep breaths.

She heaved herself onto her feet, and set off in the other direction towards Cole’s room.

—

When she came down to the basement the next morning, Ian looked haggard, yawning and rubbing at his eyes under his glasses. When he saw her, however, he lit up in a smile and eagerly waved her over.

“Ada! Hey! C-Come here, I have something to show you.”

On his desk was the rhythm defibrillator device, and attached to it was a new button that she didn’t recognize.

“...What’s this?” she asked as she slowly descended the stairs.

Ian spun around in his chair to face her, gesturing enthusiastically.

“I was up all night testing this, but it—it works! Basically, it modulates the detected heartbeats to—to simplify them on our end, and then it translates the button input back to the original complexity to match the patient’s heart pattern. S-So you’ll still be administering the same treatment, but it should be easier to—”

Tears welled in her eyes all over again, and Ada practically fell forward to pull him into a hug, grinning from ear to ear. Ian stiffened uncomfortably, and she suddenly remembered herself.

She stepped back and laughed sheepishly as she wiped away the tears.

“Right. Not a hugger. Sorry, I really need to be better about that.”

Ian looked at her for a moment, sighed, and then smiled. He stood from his chair and wrapped her in another hug, tighter than before.

“I’m willing to make exceptions,” he mumbled into her shoulder. Ada’s heart swelled, and she squeezed him back just as tightly. Then Ian let out a yelp as she lifted him off his feet in her excitement, and she quickly set him back down. 

“Too much?”

Ian laughed weakly, smoothing down his rumpled coat.

“Too much.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

She returned her attention to the new button, running her fingers over the smooth surface. It looked fairly similar to the standard one, though slightly bigger. She gently pressed it down and it made a satisfying click.

“Thank you, Ian, seriously. This is…incredible.”

Ian scratched the back of his neck bashfully.

“It’s the least I could do. You already work so hard. H–Hopefully, this’ll make your job a little easier.”

Ada suddenly remembered his words from yesterday. You’re everyone’s favorite doctor. Otherwise, they’d all be stuck with me.

“You’re doing a good job, too, by the way,” she said softly. “Edega’s an idiot if he doesn’t see that. I know that a lot of your work is behind the scenes, but it’s just as important.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Ian looked away, embarrassed. “Y-You don’t have to say that.”

Ada smiled fondly.

“Just want you to know that you’ll always be my favorite radiologist.”

“I’m quite literally th–the only radiologist that we have.”

“Still.”

Ian finally broke into a smile, too. “Okay, okay. H-How about we test this thing?”

—

A week later, Ada told him that she had a gift for him, and produced a small white coffee mug from her coat pocket. Ian burst out laughing when he saw it.

“Wait, d-does that say ‘number one radiologist?’”

It was a “Number One Dad” mug from the dollar store that Ada had drawn over with a permanent marker. She had added two lines under the first D to turn it into an R, and had scribbled “-iologist” underneath, along with a little smiley face at the end. The mug soon became a permanent fixture on Ian’s desk, and she grinned to herself every time she passed by it.

[a-sin-to-be-rin]

Murdoc + Bazooka

Mac wakes up with a runny nose, a dry mouth, and someone’s boot in his side.

“Oh. So you are alive. I thought I’d killed you for sure.”

Despite everything, this is possibly the worst case scenario. The middle of nowhere. Injured. Alone- well, actually, he’s not alone. God, Mac wishes he was. After all, it’s much easier to survive when Murdoc isn’t pointing a gun in your face.

---

“Damn. You’d think it'd be easier to find a pharmacy around here. Where are we? Do they have pharmacies?”

Mac lifts his head from the cool glass of the car window. “We're in Vermont,” he mutters, kneading his forehead with his knuckles. “Of course they have pharmacies.”

“Yeah, tell that to Google Maps,” Jack gripes, tossing his phone Mac’s way.

“You don't have reception. Google Maps thinks we've fallen off the face of the Earth.”

Jack groans. “We’ve been driving through the woods for ages. This is like, the perfect place for a serial killer to hide out.”

“We’re still pretty far out from the nearest city,” Mac says regretfully. “Just keep going.”

“Only you would get a cold after the mission is done. Why can't you be a normal person and get it before the mission? Then you can't go on the mission, which means I can't go on the mission. I would kill for a break, Mac.”

But Mac doesn't have the energy to argue. He waves Jack off, slumping against the window again.

“You better be grateful.” True to form, Jack continues the argument alone. “Nobody else on this team would drive your sick ass through serial killer woods to get you cough drops. I want you to remember this when you're picking out my birthday present-”

BAM!

There's fire. The Jeep rolls. Glass shatters everywhere, metal bending and screeching.

And then, there's nothing at all.

---

The world is hazy when Mac opens his eyes. Frost coats the frozen earth and tinges the underbrush. Cold, dry air fills his lungs and a wheeze escapes them.

“Oh. So you are alive.”

“What-?”

Dirt, too dry to be mud, but only barely, presses into the side of his face and brushes his ear. He tries to lift his head, but the effort it takes only makes his face plant that much harder when his head drops again.

“It’s okay,” the voice says. “It’s just me.”

Mac can’t place the voice. It’s familiar. Chillingly familiar. It makes Mac’s stomach clench. But he can’t recall why.

“I’ll be honest,” the voice continues. “At first, I really thought I killed you. I mean, you weren’t moving, and head wounds just bleed so damn much. You know how it is.” Footsteps circle around Mac, light and even.

Even surface distribution, Mac notes. Large surface area. Men’s size 10, maybe 11. Wide foot. And the dissonance from the toe means it’s a stiff shoe. Either new or rarely used.

And then a pair of black dress shoes, far too shiny for a dirt trail in the middle of the woods, steps into view. Mac rolls onto his back, shoulders and leg and head aching from the movement, and finds himself staring down the barrel of a hunting rifle.

“Stay right there, MacGyver,” the voice coos, and Mac doesn’t need to look past the gun to know who’s holding it.

“Murdoc.”

“Oh, good. I didn’t shake your brain up too bad then. That bazooka can be a real doozy on the noggin.”

Bazooka?

“What did you-? Why are you-?”

“Ah, ah.” Murdoc tuts reproachfully. He squats down, slinging the rifle onto his pack and aiming a pistol at Mac’s forehead. “I know your mind is inquisitive to its own detriment, but you’ll need to have a bit of patience today.”

Mac groans, wincing against a killer headache. He can’t be sure if it’s from the car crash or his cold. Or maybe it’s both.

“You're a tough man to track down, MacGyver,” Murdoc says, standing again and planting his boot on Mac’s chest, gun still at the ready. “Fortunately for me, I have this nifty little program. Lets me know any time the Phoenix assigns a case to one Angus MacGyver. And since you were in the remote edges of Vermont and I was in the remote edges of Vermont, I figured I’d stop by. Say hello.”

For a moment, Mac drowns out Murdoc, trying to assess his situation.

In the middle of the woods. Trees. Maple, birch, spruce, pine. Northeast US, maybe still Vermont, though all bets are off with Murdoc.

On his back. Hands bound. Rope and duct tape. Feet are free.

Injuries. Head wound, concussion probable. Arms are okay. Pain and swelling in his left leg. Suspected femur fracture. Right leg is normal. And something about the abdomen. Something’s wrong…

Wait. Where’s-

Mac coughs, trying and failing to push Murdoc’s foot off. “Where's Jack?”

“Hm… Jack? I don't know if we've met.”

“You-” Mac coughs again, this time succeeding to push Murdoc away. He sits up slowly, head pounding. “You blew him up.”

“Ugh, Mac, you know you need to be more specific. I’ve blown up so many people that they've started to blend together.”

“He was in the car with me,” Mac growls. “Where is he?”

“I imagine he's still in the car.” Murdoc studies his nails, gun still trained on Mac.

Mac swallows hard. Jack must have survived. There's no alternative.

“Oh, don’t look so sad, MacGyver! Come on! I’ve got some fun things planned today, so why don’t you-” He jerks his head to the side. “Up, on your feet! There’s a good soldier.”

But Mac doesn’t stay on his feet for long, falling with his first step.

“I will admit,” Murdoc sighs, squatting down beside Mac again. “I wasn’t sure the bazooka was the best idea. Too many variables. But I also couldn’t not take the risk. I mean, I’ve been trying to kill you for years. When would I get a better opportunity?”

Mac groans. Pushes himself up on his hands.

“It does increase the risk of leg injuries, which makes moving you around a real pain in the ass. But there are ways.”

Well, if Mac’s heart wasn’t racing before, it definitely is now.

“This will be easier if you don’t fight me. Trust me; this is a mercy.”

And then the pistol cracks against Mac’s head, and everything goes dark.

---

“Så flådde han kråka og lema ho sund, hei fara og lema ho sund- oh.”

Mac frowns against a stabbing headache and a leg burning in agony. He’s not as cold as before, and the ground is drier. Wood.

“Forgive me,” Murdoc says airily. “I was workshopping lullabies. Still new to this parenting thing.” He sighs. “My mother used to sing me to sleep with that one: kråkevisa. It’s about a man who thinks a crow is out to kill him, so he kills the crow first. Then he makes shoes out of its skin and hangs the crow’s neck in the church. I suppose it’s her own fault that I tried to emulate the man. And there were no crows near my home, so I made do. Mother did make a lovely pair of shoes.”

This is far too much information. Mac can’t even process it. All he can do is look around, searching for threats.

“Where are we?” he murmurs.

“This is where I come to get away from it all,” Murdoc explains. “Cozy place, isn’t it?”

Mac sits up slowly, hands (still tied together, regretfully) immediately going to the dark red drenching his shirt. “Wh-?” He lifts the hem, finding a metal shard sticking out of his side. The wound was clotted, but sitting up tears it open again, bright red flowing over deep maroon.

Murdoc hums. “Car accident, I suspect. Not important, really. Just don't pull it out.” He shrugs. “Really, MacGyver, we have bigger fish to fry here.”

“Like what?” Mac grits out, holding pressure against the wound.

“You really have no sense of drama. But that’s okay. I like that about you.” He paces to a table. Mac can’t see what he’s doing. “So I’ll throw you a bone, just this once.

“You, my friend, have been an insufferable presence in my life since the day I was hired to kill you. I planned everything perfectly. I was stronger than you, more prepared than you, faster than you.” He picks up a tray and returns to Mac’s side, kneeling to look at Mac properly. “But you still managed to-” He sets the tray down with a sharp clatter. “-slip through my fingers.” His voice remains even, rhythm never faltering. “You were the one who got away. And ever since, I’ve been chasing you like a dog, trying to rectify that.”

Murdoc hums. Puts on a pair of white rubber gloves. “I think enough is enough, don’t you?”

Mac can’t stand up. Not with his leg swollen and (most likely) broken to hell. There’s no getting out of here. He sees two options:

He stalls long enough for someone to find him. But this requires someone to realize he’s missing. Even if Jack survived (and he must have survived, because Mac can’t live in a world without him), he’s probably just as lost as Mac is. Their best bet is that Riley or Bozer notice they’re missing. That will take a minimum of three hours, maybe four.

Or,

2. He incapacitates Murdoc and uses the items at his disposal to contact help.

It’s not a difficult choice.

“Remember, back in LA? When we had that little chat over nightshade and handcuffs?” He smiles, and it’s scarier than when he’s angry. “That was a good day.” And then his voice hardens to steel. “But you cut it short. I never got to pry Cassian’s location out of you.” He sighs. “I don't need his location anymore - obviously - but wouldn't it be a treat to have you give it up anyway? A nice dose of humiliation before I kill you.”

Mac glares up. He's not sure how effective it is when he's on the ground and bleeding. “So what? If I don't talk, I get to live?”

“Of course not,” Murdoc scoffs, screwing a needle to a syringe and stabbing a vial with it. “Living was never on the table. You either talk and die or get tortured for nothing and die. Your call.”

Mac shifts backwards. He can't help it. With Murdoc leering over him, needle glinting and malice-driven eyes gleaming, Mac’s every cell is screaming at him to get away. But in his state, moving just jars his leg, pain choking the breath from his lungs.

Murdoc is less than enthused. “You should leave the torturing to the expert.” And then he stabs Mac in the arm with the needle and depresses the plunger.

At first, Mac feels nothing at all. Just that absent but nagging concern about the mystery drug in his body. And then, things start to sink. The pain doesn’t go away - if anything, it’s worse - but his awareness is fluttery. Sounds are muffled at first and then ring for eons in his ears. The world is filtered with a blurry blue haze. Murdoc’s face comes in and out of focus.

“The belladonna clearly wasn’t enough last time. So I made my own… adjustments. But I’m sure you figured that out by now.”

Yeah. Mac definitely does not remember the sewers being like this.

“So I’ll ask nicely. Once. Where were you hiding my son?”

Mac coughs. Maybe it’s his cold. Maybe he’s about to vomit. He can’t decide. “I didn’t… I never knew… I didn’t even know he-”

Murdoc’s ring cuts Mac’s face as he backhands him. “Liar! You knew, and you kept it from me! You took a son away from his father, all under the guise of ‘protecting’ him.”

“No one… ever told me,” Mac swears.

And Murdoc nods once, expression stony. “You made me do this.”

Shiny. Cool steel. Brand new. Long and sharp and strong. Clamping. Pulling. Pressure. And then-

Mac can’t help it. He screams.

“Oh, come now, MacGyver,” Murdoc chides. “What’s one fingernail between friends? A ring fingernail, no less. Hardly important. Though the index nail is looking awfully tempting.”

“I…” His voice shakes so badly, he can barely speak. “I told you all I… all I know.”

“I doubt that.”

And then the middle and index nails are gone.

“Okay, so fingernails aren’t your kryptonite,” Murdoc says, barely sparing the writhing figure on the floor a second glance. “That’s fine. We can move on.” He hums, scanning his tray of tools, and then sighs. “I’m not feeling it. Nothing’s speaking to me. I’m going to have to get creative.”

Mac thinks, for only a moment, that perhaps this will be his reprieve. Maybe he’ll have a few seconds to breathe. But then there’s a sharp, twisting, cutting agony, ripping his insides to shreds.

“Funny thing about the human body: it will do anything to stop the bleeding. Even if there’s a foreign object in the wound, the body will still try its damnedest to heal around the sucker. So before you know it, that thing is basically melded into the skin. And even the slightest movement-” and here he twists the metal shrapnel viciously “-will tear the skin open all over again. Hurts so good, huh?”

Mac is leaning more towards “hurts” than “good,” but Murdoc doesn’t really want Mac’s opinion. He just wants to hear himself talk.

“So what do you say? Want to tell me now? I already have him, so it’s not like you’re hurting anyone. Barring yourself, of course.”

Mac doesn’t have the air to defend himself. But Murdoc interprets this as defiance. And in his own act of defiance, he rips the shrapnel from Mac’s side.

“Ooo, that must’ve hurt.”

But Mac can’t hear him over his own screams.

Murdoc drops the metal, returning to his tray. “How’s that leg feeling?”

Oh god. Not his leg. The leg that’s still throbbing, even under the agony of his side. Mac has a plan - thinks he has a plan - but if he wants it to work, he needs to act now.

Murdoc grabs a hammer and turns it in his hands. Then he shakes his head and grabs a meat mallet instead.

Mac has his hands on the shrapnel now, cutting away at the ropes. Murdoc doesn’t notice, though it’s only a matter of time before he does.

“So, tongue feeling looser yet?” Murdoc hasn’t looked up yet. He hasn’t looked up yet. He hasn’t-

“What are you doing?” Murdoc hisses, reaching out to snatch the metal away. But Mac is in pain and drugged and still has his stupid head cold, and his survival instincts are far past active. With a sudden burst of adrenaline-powered strength, Mac rips the last of the ropes and tape away and swipes out with the shrapnel. He catches Murdoc in the hand, but this only seems to make him angry.

Murdoc holds his injured hand to his chest and pulls out his pistol.

Mac doesn’t waste another moment, kicking out with his good leg and hitting Murdoc’s head. As he jerks to the side, Murdoc hits his head against the corner of the table and falls still. Later, Mac will look back with horror at how ridiculously lucky he was, but in the moment, Mac is just desperate to escape.

As gently as he can manage, Mac drags himself across the floor, grabbing Murdoc’s gun and pocketing the cartridge. Best to keep Murdoc away from loaded weapons.

Then, Mac grabs the rope hanging from the table (excess from the rope used to tie him up, no doubt), and secures Murdoc’s wrists and ankles. It’s not foolproof, but it’s a temporary fix until Mac can find something stronger.

After a moment to brace himself, Mac slowly, painfully slides himself around the room, trying to get a lay of the land. There are a multitude of torture weapons on the tray, of course, though few look like promising supplies. (Mac does grab the meat tenderizer though. Just in case Murdoc gets loose.) There’s an alarm clock on the table, which Mac manages to knock to the floor. There’s probably more up there, but Mac can’t see much past the table’s edge. Mac himself has a few paperclips and a stick of chewing gum. (Something about that feels cliche, though he has no idea why.)

The best find, however, is a drawer in the kitchenette. The moment Mac opens it, despite it being above his line of view, he instantly knows what it is: a junk drawer. Lord bless the person who invented junk drawers. They’ve saved Mac’s life on more than one occasion.

Feeling around, Mac procures a few tubes of used lip balm, more bullets, a pair of scissors, and a small coil of wire.

And Mac has all the makings of a quick and dirty spark-gap transmitter.

With shaky hands (and three fewer fingernails than usual), Mac removes the battery from the alarm clock. Then he connects it with the wire, leaving the rest of the coil to act as an electromagnet. Then he adds a paperclip across from a nail in the floorboards, forming a spark gap. Now Mac just needs a second battery.

Mac searches the junk drawer and the lower cabinets, coming across a forgotten smoke detector. It’s perfect. Just one problem though:

Mac can’t get the smoke detector open. He tugs and pries at the battery door, injured fingers curled into his palm. He uses the wires and the tenderizer and everything he can find, but nothing will open it. He hangs his head before trying to pry it open with his fingers again. He’s so close. He can’t lose now. One more battery  - just one thing to complete the circuit - and he’ll have his transmitter. He’ll be able to signal for help. He’ll get out of here alive.

There’s a crash. Mac jumps, sending shockwaves of pain up his leg and through his abdomen. There’s clattering around the room. Cursing and rustling. Yelling and breaking glass and gun safeties. And then, footsteps approach Mac. Someone is trying to talk to him.

“Get… get away…” he pants, refusing to look up. “Back off.”

“Whoa, hey,” the voice says, and it’s that awful Texan drawl that makes Mac’s spirit soar. “It’s just me, hoss. I ain’t gonna hurt you.”

“Jack,” Mac breathes, allowing Jack to help him sit up. “I thought you were…”

“Yeah. Well. I’m not.” He jerks his head to the side. “No thanks to Jerkwad von Bazookaface over there.”

Murdoc is still bleary-eyed, surrounded by at least four SWAT officers.

“How did you…?” Mac looks at the nail on the floor, then back at Jack. “I didn’t finish the radio.”

“I don’t need a radio to find you.” It’s almost sweet, in a weirdly them type of way. “You left blood all over the place. Followed it like breadcrumbs to the witch’s candy house.”

Mac blinks. “You and I remember that fairytale very differently.”

“No, you just lack imagination.”

Mac sighs, sagging against Jack’s steady hand. “I am too high for this.”

Jack pats him reassuringly. “Definitely, buddy. Now, let’s get you outta here. There’s a bag of cough drops with your name on it on the plane.”

Mac doesn’t reply right away. He’s overwhelmed by a strange sense of… safety. “Hey, uh, Jack?”

“Hey, uh, what?”

“Thanks.”

Jack just smiles. “S’what brothers are for.”