#but it's good they inform themselves about the origins of this meme

[magnificent-winged-beast]

Ok. For you, my dear @eames-with-a-rose I will come here TODAY of all the days to try to explain this particular picture that hunts Tumblr every April 1st.

First, origins. This is from know your meme.

Please take note of this year and particular month, Comic Con 2009 was from July 23 to July 26.

This is the "official" Misha first impression about the Mishapocalypse.

And what happened to Misha around the time this picture was taken? The following interview was one of the first recollections that Misha told about the bike accident:

Misha Collins Interview - Comic Con Press Room 2009

Written by Alice Jester

Category: Interviews

Created: 27 July 2009

Our roundtable time with Misha Collins was the least, only about four minutes. Still, we got some great sound bites regarding his recent nasty bicycle accident, being pranked in season five by Jared, and how Castiel has taken up crochet. And is learning how to ride a bicycle. As usual, SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

Misha gingerly worked his way over to our table, and we could tell he was in some pain. We all asked how he was. “Terrible, how are you?” Of course he was joking, but in a way he really meant it.

Why are you terrible?

MC: Well, I’ve been in the hospital. I crashed on my bicycle going about 55 mph. 

(Something about it being stupid muttered in the background).

MC: You’re right, thank you, I haven’t gotten that reaction yet. “You are stupid.”

Were you wearing a helmet?

MC: I was. Still, crashing going 55 mph is stupid, in my opinion.

Only if you did it on purpose.

MC: No, I didn’t do it on purpose.

Are you a little banged up?

MC: I’m a little banged up. I just tore some muscles and I’m missing a lot of skin. My shirts are sticking to my scabs. Other than that…

So you’re being a method actor since Castiel was basically destroyed at the end of last season.

MC:  Exactly, I wanted to know what that felt like.

Source:

I copied this “interview” from a known Bibro site. To show a recollection of a “neutral” source about Misha's health. Meaning, these aren't the ones that will exaggerate or take an overwhelming compassionate take about this incident and current state ON THE DAY THE INFAMOUS PICTURE WAS TAKEN. As you can read in the last question, they practically dismissed the accident.

Now, let's hear the recollection of this story from him several years later. Please go from the fresh fish story until the end, the last part of the bike crash.

I'm sure numerous hard core Misha fans will know about this story. He told it on many panels, in different kinds of focus of the story. Occasionally, he tells it like a joke and the classic IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME, Misha moment. In others, he tells this story about why he wants a tattoo of a sockeye Salmon.

I choose this particular one because even 6 years later, you can tell how emotional he feels about watching his best friend covered in blood.

I prefer, first, to put on the table these two facts for context. And any person beyond his fan base can put themselves in his place, of why Misha wouldn't like this picture. That may remain him of a dark moment when he believed HE could have died or, worse for him, lost his best friend. Because I don't have a link, or a filmed explanation of why Misha had said didn't like this particular picture to be part of the Mishapocalypse.

But many of us read a post about a Meet and Greet, that I can’t find right now, when one of the attendees asked Misha about this picture, the following year, when the Mishapocalypse was a “success” on tumblr. She basically asked him what he was thinking to make that “particular face” that now was being multiplied over tumblr and had expanded over other SM.

For what I recall, he explained kind of seriously and kind of as a joke. That that was his pain face, at the time he was heavily medicated because the accident occurred early in that month. Because he HAD TO ASSIST TO COMIC CON, a date saved in advance, a work thing he MUST assist. (This kind of reminds me of that time the CW didn't let him assist to his daughter's birth because they were filming. Now you know Why I have the nasty feelings for the WB and CW people). Moreover, because it was a memory of one of the worst days of his life, when he thought he was going to die, and how because of some stupid competitive moment he could have lost his best friend.

As much as we know about Misha (or think we think we know). I mean, what I can infer about the past 6 years of watching his panels, interviews and reading his books. I have a grasp of how Misha uses self—deprecated humor, makes jokes about heavy personal issues and events in his life, and tends to get in serious trouble, but stills makes jokes and dismiss those events, once time and trauma had passed by. I tend to do the same, better laugh about your horrible experiences as a way to feel you completely overcome them. Than keep being a victim of their consequences by let those memories hunt you by giving them a solemn importantce.

Currently, I can only hope this picture flooded Tumblr just for today. Because I know that making an issue about it, or asking publicly for people to not use it, is sometimes to ask for the trolls to come out from their caves and do it twice as much.

I'm sorry I couldn't post this earlier, but I was busy and tend to skip this day on Tumblr to avoid the controversial image, that I, personally, dislike ever since I learn its origin and what Misha feels about it. Even now, ten years later, I can speculate Misha forgot about it. Probably it's just a past joke for him, either way it can reach him through Twitter or Instagram where he is more active, and some "fans" decided to migrate this tumblr thing beyond.

Still, for the little I can consider myself as a Misha connoisseur, or just a fan, I think he isn't the kind of person that will make a big fuss about these things, even if it can still affect him. Albeit, little we can really know or understand about the real meaning or trauma this simple image can carry for him.

In the end, the thing, it's out there. The Mishapocalypse is still a THING, apparently. And like I said, trying for people on the Internet to do or not to do anything, sometimes brings the opposite effect and spawns large debates I don’t have the energy or time to participate in.

I can offer alternatives images as usual…

I must confess, I participated in the 5th Mishapocalypse before knowing the origin of the image. Since then, I tried to make alternative takes on this day, like celebrating the wonderful human being Misha is by posting facts about his life and good deeds. But this year I decided to be away for this ¿"celebration"? Because this blog is a 24/7 tribute to him and to Castiel, now his new project Harvey Dent. So, you see, for me, every day is a Mishapocalypse, where I can post nicer and least traumatic images of The Hot Overlord, now the Zaddy Dent.

@eames-with-a-rose ♥

P.S.: @shedontlovehuhself I know you have a Bible size of evidence of Misha “embracing” this picture. That's nice. But I hope you didn't know about this little trivia of the context of this particular image. Because I know, you have an answer to everything and first-hand information about what Misha Collins Thinks and wants. Please go on your merry way and do as you please on your blog. But kindly stop berating my posts with your editorial corrections.

When did misha say he didn’t like this image?

@magnificent-winged-beast im trying to find posts, but barely, it was 2019 and before, Raven do u have links, please help?

[dunmeshistash]

Hi, so recently there was a dunmeshi signing (?) event with Ryoko Kui in Korea. And I have found some posts from korean fans about their experience and a bunch of illustrations. @Dgae_715 is the acc on twitter i have found most of information from reposts. But basically here are the most relevant facts that I have found (Please note that they may be inaccurate due to me relying on online translator):

A fan asked if post canon Falin will live longer, Ryoko Kui basically answered “maybe so, right?”

The same fan asked if Thistle without desire will able to live happily with the care of others, and as far as I got she said “I hope so”.(Note: I am really not sure if I got this one right at all) The fan themselves said the way Ryoko Kui answered was rather unprepared, so she may not have an answer in mind really on such specific questions.

Another fan asked how Mithrun is in post canon, Ryoko Kui said that he is doing well, working and pursuing hobbies.

Somebody asked Mithruns about strength, he is weaker than a soldier, even though he is got the fighting skills, but he developed them mostly because of his sense of professionalism (?), rather than for fighting.

Past Mithrun didn’t really fight that much, he was mostly an investigator(?), he rarely had to fight in the rear(?) units.

Apparently Falin’s chimera form can get oily, so she repells water a bit

In real life, Marcille would be a med school research student, while Laios would be a “furita” (basically a freelancer with no stable income)

Someone said if Ryoko Kui considered a bad ending for Falin, and Ryoko Kui said she, as an author wanted a happy ending, but in case of Falin, she was worried after the ending (14 volume or later?), but overall she thinks it turned out well. (I think the after the ending refers to her post canon fate, and maybe thats why Ryoko kui did an extra on that specifically later on) 8. Also someone asked if Ryoko Kui would eat the dishes from dunmeshi, and she replied she is a picky eater, and she also said to someone that she drew dishes that she liked and disliked in dunmeshi (I bet she doesnt like fruitcakes).

(Note: There is a 90% chance I got this completely wrong, translator was struggling a LOT here) Someone asked about what Laios is good at, she replied “when he is a party member”. 9. She also likes Lord of the Rings and Wizardly 6(?), and she likes Skip and Loather

When asked about what word definies Laios, she said he is actually a normal/usual person(?). I have lost the post with this specific answer, so I am going by my memory;-;

Some fan showed her that picture with Tennant Chilchuck, she didnt recognise the actor unfortunately. Also apparently this meme originated from Korean dunmeshi fandom???

There were other questions and answers too, but they mostly about Ryoko Kui. And I also may have forgotten to add some;-; Also some fan suggested to Ryoko Kui that Falin in the real life should be a dentist by the way she makes them drool(????I think they meant it in non-sexual manner, like an excited dog), they kind of laughed about it. Also Ryoko Kui drew Falin the most(?) for signing postcards, other characters, and only 5-6 Senshis, 2 Winged Lions

Anonymous asked: The same anon with Korean sign event ask. I knew I forgot something, but basicaly some fan showed Ryoko Kui the day dream picture that most of fandom presumes to be a Chilchuck’s wife and asked if its true, she answered “Its up to your imagination”. So basically neither no or yes

Thank you! I LOVE SKIP AND LOAFER WEEEE

Hopefully we get some more corroborating translations for the bits you're not sure!

[sarahreesbrennan]

Quick Evil Note

To all my wicked darlings, I have now received rather a lot of messages asking me about the influences of Long Live Evil. And I wish to get messages about LLE and truly appreciate the ones I do get! And I wish to answer them. But answers about influences are tricky.

The book has been out in the US for a little over two weeks, and it’s going so well so far, I couldn’t be more delighted and appreciative about its reception.

But also I’ve been informed (not asked) that two of my characters are obviously somehow both Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy of Harry Potter, and Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. (Very puzzling as I don’t think these pairings - and one isn’t a pair - have much in common with each other or with mine. Vague hostility against a vaguely academic backdrop for a bit? For the record… in the book everyone is an adult and I don’t even have any academic backdrops to be vaguely hostile in front of…) This hasn’t happened to me in a long time, because I haven’t had an original novel out in a long time due to illness, and it is upsetting to always be discussed differently than writers who didn’t openly link their real names to their fan identity.

I have very different feelings and new appreciation for fandom than I once had. It’s been amazing to see and meet people who have stuck with me for decades. People are generally way more open and affectionate to and within fandom than they once were. Love matters to me a good deal more than hate. But getting death threats in your early 20s for excitedly telling your Internet friends you were going to publish a book does mark the psyche, and so does having your characters dismissed as other people’s characters.

And we can say there is nothing wrong with fanfiction or writing fanfiction and there isn’t! Fanfiction is great and can be genius. Terry Pratchett wrote Jane Austen fanfiction, and didn’t (and shouldn’t) have people saying Captain Wentworth = Captain Vimes. Still, when a TV show is discussed as ‘like fanfiction’ or when Diana Gabaldon said she didn’t like fanfiction and many said ‘YOU write fanfiction’ it isn’t intended in any kind spirit, even when it’s fannish folk saying it. And it’s just generally odd to have everyone call your apple a tomato, and has had professional consequences for me in the past.

However! All the asks I’ve received have been very kind, and I do want to answer them. I do want to talk about my influences because they are manifold and because I actually think it’s important to always talk about influences. I don’t believe stories exist in isolation - we tell tales in a rich tradition, and also a story doesn’t come alive to me all the way until it’s heard or read.

Long Live Evil is a love letter to fandom: it’s chock full of references to many many stories I’ve loved, to fairytales, myths and legend and Internet memes and epic fantasy and meta. My acknowledgements are endless partly for this reason. I do owe a great debt to many portal fantasies and archetypes and musicals and jokes about genre and plays through the ages, though I do think of my characters as themselves and nobody else.

I was frankly tempted to go ‘Yes I stole EVERYTHING! Bwhahaha!’ But while I am thoroughly enjoying and finding great freedom in my villain era, I do want to talk sincerely to you all as well, especially when asked sincerely interested questions.

But I’m a little scared to do so and have people say ‘AHA! Now we know what it’s fanfiction of’ (it’s happened before) or ignore me and go ‘we know the truth!’ (it’s happened before) and to feel like I’ve injured my book. Long Live Evil means more to me than any other and I really want to get talking about it right, and make sure it has the best reception I can give it.

So. Questions on all Evil topics very very welcome but answers to influence questions may come slowly. Bear with me. I am working on this!

[apostaterevolutionary]

Collecting some thoughts on veilguard cause tbh I really don’t know how to feel lmao so. Unstructured ramble time

I’ve watched the trailer and the demo and I feel very. Idk? Still ‘wait and see’ mode for me. It’s been 10 years. Inquisition imo was the weakest of the 3. And while I have kind of moved on from DA there is a part of me that wants this to just blow everything out of the water and be amazing. I’m just not sure if that’s what I think will happen. Right now, I just think it doesn’t feel dragon age-y enough (in terms of what I, personally, consider the defining traits of the series) but I don’t want to jump to conclusions with so little information

The trailer was. Fine. Vibes were a little off but given its Varric narrating, it makes sense (also. Unpopular opinion lmao. I love Varric but I don’t think he should be a companion again. If there’s a carry over companion, it should have been Dorian. And tbh he could still be there, considering they said 7 companions but Varric is not included in that. So did they mean 7 *new* companions and maybe a few others? Advisors again maybe? Idk. Maybe Varric is a temporary companion, but I don’t think he should be there except maybe as a cameo. Scout Harding is an unexpected but fine carry over though). I don’t really have an opinion yet on the companions themselves cause there’s just. Nothing to base an opinion on other than the character designs

Gameplay demo shows that they’re definitely going very Inquisition-y. As in, continuing further down the path it started. Which isn’t unexpected, but is a bit disappointing, though not necessarily a dealbreaker as of yet. It’s probably smart tbh to go more in an action rpg direction than back to the crpg roots given it’s going to be compared to bg3 no matter what they do - better to differentiate as much as possible. Though I don’t think that’s why they did it, probably more a happy accident. I just. Idk, I found inquisitions combat a bit boring and I haven’t been impressed by what I’ve seen yet. But a 20 minute demo is probably not enough to really form an opinion

I feel like you can still see the echoes of this being a live service game at one point too. Healing potions coming from pots found in the environment (I never got over healing spells being cut btw lmao, bring back spirit healers already), the “ability wheel” (unsure about that too, given it sounds like we can’t control companion characters anymore? Kinda really don’t like that :/), stuff like that. I still feel like DA2 combat was the perfect balance between fluidity and strategy but it is what it is. It performed badly, so they’ve disregarded it wholesale rather than consider that some aspects of it may still be worth exploring. It sucks, but that’s capitalism I guess

As for all the other little things, idk, I really am not sure what to think yet lmao. Some sound good. Some less good (why only 2 companions, I don’t like that at all - also weird that the demo shows you won’t have a tank for the initial bit of the game. That’s a weird choice). Nothing to make me go aaaaaa either positively or negatively yet. I don’t even know what to say. My feelings are just so complicated about it, but also kinda empty at the same time. Like. It’s a bit of kombucha girl meme but also muted? I would like to feel just. More about it. But I don’t yet. I’m too unsure. Not quite numb, but almost tbh

At this stage, I feel like I’m gonna wait till it comes out and see what happens. No pre-ordering until I get a better idea. It’s like. With origins, I’ve played it a lot. DA2, even more - countless times lmao. Inquisition though, I played 2.5 times immediately after release and have tried to play it multiple times since but. I only ever get 10-20 hours in before I get bored and can’t make myself continue. I’ve tried many, many times and idk why but I just can’t do it. I never even played any of the DLC, so like. I kinda need to do that first if I’m gonna play veilguard but I have never succeeded before so idk how I will now lmao. But I feel like at least trespasser is necessary and I have genuinely never played it. And I gotta play the rest of the game first to get there and I genuinely don’t know if I can sksksjs

And with that in mind like. If inquisition is that unappealing to me, a game that feels very inquisition-y, potentially leaning even more into the stuff I didn’t like about it, is. Definitely not what I was hoping for. It’s still possible it’s leagues better than inquisition and actually playing it will be a great experience. But right now I just don’t know. I probably won’t be able form any kind of opinion until it comes out and I start getting info from trusted folks that I know have good DA opinions lmao

Idk. I’m not trying to be a wet blanket or a hater, and I genuinely don’t think I am being a hater at all, but I am just. Very tired and nervous. But also cautiously hopeful. I’ve said ‘idk’ a lot lmao but I truly don’t know at this stage. I guess we’ll see. Let’s hope it’s actually amazing and the very thing we need to make the series as a whole feel like it used to for us lapsed DA fans

[pearwaldorf]

Have you heard about what's happening on dreamwidth/FFA and volunteers talking about the dysfunction happening in the OTW and the CSEM incident?

I have! It's real fucked up!

(Blanket warning for discussion of CSAM/CSEM, as well as exposure to such in a volunteer context, in text and links below.)

For those who are unaware, failfandomanon (FFA) is an anonymous meme community on Dreamwidth for people to discuss all things fandom, serious or not. I think it tends towards kneejerk anti-purity wank, but it is one of the few places where people can talk openly about fandom things without it being traced back to a publicly identifiable handle. This context will become important later on.

You may remember last year AO3 got hit with emails containing CSAM and they had to lock everything down while they dealt with it.

A few days ago somebody on FFA asked about what happened re: the AO3 volunteers working through that period. Here is the tweet chain where I found out about it, with screencaps from FFA. Basically, said volunteers got a list of links to mental health hotlines and the names of people who volunteered themselves as resources for dealing with this stuff. Yeah. (As a tangent, the OTW has an estimated ~$2mm cash reserve. At no point did they decide to hire a counselor or any other sort of professional help to assist their volunteers in dealing with this.)

Impertinence has a good rundown of the timeline of events.

azarias, the person who became the defacto CSAM resource person (a truly horrifying statement), was traumatized dealing with this. The OTW used this opportunity to force her out because people on the Board didn't like her, realized they wouldn't have a defacto CSAM person, and reinstated her, expecting that she would go back to doing what she did previously. This goes beyond benign neglect into real actual harm inflicted upon volunteers.

Then! Then! THEN!! This message (FFA original) was sent out to everybody in the OTW volunteer Slack. Which basically says to volunteers "If we don't like you we'll come down on you like a ton of bricks if you talk about how we abused you."

I don't know who's keeping up on this on Twitter, but somebody started a Dreamwidth aggregating most of what you see above.

I know this is a lot of information to throw at people. I encourage you to read it and process at your own pace because this is important to understand. And while I believe this is trustworthy information (as far as I can tell), I'm not a substitute for your own personal judgment and brain.

It is clear to me the Organization of Transformative Works has abrogated its responsibility to its volunteers as people and as laborers on behalf of the organization. There is no formal mechanism for us as AO3 users or as people the organization claims to represent (members of fandom) to demand remediation on behalf of azarias or other volunteers who have been traumatized by this.

I expect there will be a lot more people than usual at the next board meeting (I do not see one scheduled currently), but they still don't really answer to us. If you donated at least $10 during the last pledge drive you're eligible to vote in the board elections, but that does not fix the current situation or the culture that lead to it.

As somebody who has been in fandom longer than some of you have been alive, and as somebody who's had an AO3 account since 2009, it grieves me to come to terms with the rot in the OTW culture, which is deeper than I could have imagined. It's one thing to see an organization drag its feet on things it promised to do years ago or misread the room regarding new technology. It is a whole other thing to have evidence it harmed people through active malice because they didn't like them and refused to make amends when confronted. That is not something I can support, regardless of what it may have done for fandom in the past.

[lesbiskammerat]

Hi! I saw a post about you talking about the understanding of gender as socially constructed from a communist point of view. I would be interested to see yours and also if you have some reading recommendations 😊

Oh god I have to actually articulate something clear myself? And thus open myself up to legitimate and informed criticism? I'll do my best.

One of the main point of disagreement I have with other people who agree that gender is a social construct is whether it's "transhistorical," as in whether this construct (and that of patriarchy) is essentially the same across different periods of history. Some radical feminists and those deriving their ideas from them will often say that it is (although others are not social constructionists at all), but you find it in other tendencies as well. I don't think it's really the case. You can look at various past societies and see that they are made up of men and women (or at least that they use words for themselves that we translate to "men and women,") with the men having a position of power over the women. They're very comparable, but ultimately the actual details of how those systems of gender operate are very different from the modern one found in global capitalism, in a way that I think disqualifies them from being essentially the same. An obvious example would be all the memes you might have seen about how ancient Greek men would have sex with each other, as well as their conventions on the roles of penetrating vs being penetrated. These are things that don't fit into our modern conceptions of gender at all (and also one of the reasons some historians will say "today we would consider him gay" rather than "he was gay," for instance.) This also ties into the concept that the historical origin of patriarchy doesn't serve as its current foundation. A while ago I wrote something about that here.

Another point of disagreement is whether gender is something personal, an identity you can play around with and do whatever you want with, or a social role that isn't defined by you alone. The former is an attractive position both in that it's just more fun, but also because in defending trans people from attacks by conservatives, the argument that has become popular in liberal and some leftist discourse is that trans people are the gender they say they are. That argument is in my opinion putting the cart before the horse somewhat. A trans woman is not a woman simply because she says she is, but rather because she occupies the social position of womanhood. Identity is a product of that, not the cause, in my opinion. It follows that gender is not really something we can just play around with for fun, at least depending on how you define "gender." In an individual context we can identify however we want, using both conventional and unconventional terms. There's nothing wrong with this, and it would be absurd to say that this personal identification is illusory or meaningless, as some do. But in the context of analysing gender on a larger social scale, which we need to as communists and feminists, gender is just not a personal thing. We can't opt in or out or do whatever we feel like, it's a coercive system of categorisation.

However, it's important to note that this doesn't mean that the categories of "man" and "woman" are simply all that there is. It's here that Joe Biden's "at least three" answer to the question of how many genders there are is ironically kind of true. Because I think of you study how different people are treated by patriarchy, it eventually becomes clear that there's some kind of third category. What the best way of conceptualising this third thing is, I'm not really sure. Is it "outside" the two official genders? Is it "below" woman on some kind of hierarchy? Is there just one big spectrum? I don't think there's really a good way to visualise this, partially due to the nature of social constructs like this. It's not something one guy wrote down at one point, it's something all of us are continuously creating together, an amorphous blob of collective beliefs and practices, although obviously some have greater power than others. I have a soft spot for Monique Wittig's insight into this. She argues that lesbians are not women, because by rejecting men altogether they fail to perform the most important part of the role of "woman" that patriarchy has constructed. I think there's more to it than she gets into, but if lesbians are not women they are something else, and that something else is what I'm talking about. This "other" is also something that's a great motivator for performing your assigned role as best you can. Like I said it's difficult to visualise exactly how these roles relate to each other, but there's clearly some kind of hierarchy, and you're more or less constantly threatened with being "demoted" by failing to perform your role properly and thus falling into the "other." The desperation to stay afloat is what subconsciously motivates a lot of transphobia, both directed at the self and at others.

One last point I'll get into because this post is very long now is the notion of "authenticity" when it comes to gender. Here I think Judith Butler is very insightful. Like Wittig I don't think they get into it fully, and in Butler's case I think a lot of their other theory is not quite right or at least often misused, but nonetheless they are correct on this one point. That point being that gender is an imitation with no original. Everybody is pretending. In that sense it's correct to say that trans people are just pretending, but only because so are cis people. In the same way, there isn't really a difference between "authentic" trans people, and people who are supposedly just pretending for attention or even out of some "sexual perversion." One of the things that made me think of the original post was seeing someone I follow (if you see this, hi, nothing against you) talking about the concept of only transitioning "to fuck lesbians," and it struck me as funny that really, you could just as well say that my reason for becoming a lesbian, that is, adopting that identity explicitly, was because I wanted to fuck lesbians.

Anyway, reading recommendations, right.

For Monique Wittig's argument, The Straight Mind and Other Essays is where you wanna look. For Judith Butler, I believe they wrote about that in Imitation and Gender Insubordination. Other than that, maybe Julia Serano's Whipping Girl and Silvia Federici's Caliban and the Witch?

These aren't things you should just absorb and move on, no work is like that, so I recommend reading with others and critically discussing it together.

[lanaevyssmoved]

OC questions tag meme!

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME @hibernationsuit mwah mwah

i'm doing it for afhiri, candor and cirok!! it's undercut because its long ^_^

Name:

afhiri, but if performing will tell people their name is gift ^_^ afhiri does have a surname i just haven't decided what it is yet because it's almost better to me if no one ever finds out. even me candor's actual name is raguel, but chose the virtue name candor for itself! this was with intent for when it introduced itself to afhiri, but it completely failed when he realised afhiri doesn't know what candour means :D cirok is a name that they picked themselves after his failed transformation into a kaorti and became a rivener! it's actual name is long lost, and no one will ever learn it

Nickname(s):

afhiri has the nicknames hiri and iri, and various pet names from their various partners. "sweet clown" and "my favourite bard" are used often by gale! a fun fact is gale will give afhiri moon and star related names, and candor will give afhiri sun related names! candor is called candy by afhiri, and they'll tease it with lots of "you're so sweet! like candy!" hehehe... the torment melts the heart of even the most honourable of angels cirok is called cir by afhiri but other than that their name doesn't actually get used often, since it only really interacts with afhiri and gale. gale calls cirok "it" a lot, and "phantom", using cirok mostly when afhiri pouts at him. it sounds mean but cirok doesn't mind and sometimes prefers the depersonalisation of it

Gender:

afhiri is intersex and was raised to be a boy from birth, however they developed to look more like a girl, causing a lot of inner turmoil and conflict. afhiri is transfem and nonbinary. they also take testosterone to feel closer to their masculinity. she/they pronouns! candor is quite literally a sexless solar angel, but is maculine in appearence and presentation. calling candor a man in any form would be incorrect. he/it/they pronouns! cirok is nonbinary. don't ask whats under its clothes... vaguely gestures to the fact it's a failed kaorti transformation. it/they with heavy preference for it/its.

Star sign:

this is a little difficult because realms lore has changed on this a lot, if i'm correct in my information. from people being blessed by stars or entire consellations to each month actually having a sign in more recent lore. here is a link anyone doing this for realms ocs (like bg3 ocs) can use to figure this out! the lore on stars and consellations in the realms is spotty at best, but this could be helpful if you wanna go that route!

afhiri was born in the month of kythorn, at the height of summer. her sign is the moth! uh.. candor wasn't born like that and cirok experienced literal rebirth so like. i can only answer this for afhiri LSKDJFDSF

Height:

i added gale because gale kisses afhiri and cirok hehehe

Orientation:

afhiri is polyam and bisexual ^_^ candor is yknow an angel so doesn't really subscribe to this but would be polyam and pansexual if. it did subscribe to labels at all cirok is [waves hands about] queer

Nationality/Ethnicity:

afhiri is baldurian and from the lower city in a poor district. baby is a tiefling! candor is a solar from the upper planes! candor originally called the chronias layer of mount celestia its home but upon agreeing to serve lathander moved to the realm morninglory in elysium. candor spends a few decades on toril, but eventually returns to morninglory where they stay for eternity cirok is a rivener, and what it was before this is lost to time, and you're not going to get an answer out of them. but if you were able to get a good look, you'd assume cirok is maybe a human or a half elf. cirok stays in waterdeep with afhiri and gale post-game but where cirok was before is anyones guess!

Favourite fruit:

afhiri likes sweet fruits best of all, like berries, melons and mangoes! candor doesn't eat.......... cirok doesn't eat either...............

Favourite season:

afhiri likes it warm and loves nature, flowers, greenery, so late spring and summer are the best! candor likes the summer because of the long days and warm sun ^_^ cirok uh. is not gonna answer this question if you ask and it doesn't have one.......

Favourite flower:

afhiri loves all flowers but most especially simple flowers like daisies! if afhiri sees a field of daisies you have LOST her candor likes sunflowers and roses.. obviously cirok doesn't like flowers dlfkgfdglkdfgdfg

Favourite scent:

afhiri likes natural smells over perfumey ones that usually make them sneeze dfklgjdfgd so you're gonna see afhiri sniffing flowers and the fresh air and avoiding people wearing scents candor probably got some. angel advanced sniffer shit going on. so i assume candor can smell the universe and stuff. so lets just say whatever the sun smells like and leave it there so i don't have to unpack this cirok doesn't have a favourite scent are you seeing a pattern here :)

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate:

HOT CHOCOLATE FOR AFHIRI PLEASE. sometimes gale makes them mochas. ^_^ candor doesn't drink! :) but would like tea fdl;kgdf cirok doesn't drink either..!! ahh!!! but would drink coffee. gods

Average hours of sleep:

afhiri doesn't actually sleep for very long, always jolting themselves awake in the early hours, likely due to having to always be up early before leaving their family home. candor doesn't sleep!!! cirok doesn't sleep!!!!!!!!

Dog or cat person:

afhiri is a both person and has the matched energies of a hyper dog and a zoomies cat candor loves all things on toril equally :) except the evil things :) cirok actually likes tara!!! cat person!!!!

Dream trip:

you're not gonna get a proper answer out of afhiri here it would just be "ANYWHERE! EVERYWHERE! LETS GO!" afhiri just wants to adventure and explore and see shit man. easy to please ultimately candor....... god ok i have to be honest candors dream trip would be leading afhiri to morninglory to spend the rest of eternity there with it. which means afhiri is dead cirok doesnt have one....... for gods sake cirok

Favourite fictional character:

afhiri has never read a book. we don't have television here. afhiri doesn't KNOW any fictional characters. but afhiri also has issues with knowing what is and isn't real and would answer this question in a completely incorrect way. afhiri would say the emperor is their favourite fictional character :) because the emperor lives in the prism :) for fuck sake afhiri candor.. doesn't have one..... candor is not one for whimsy like this... DO I HAVE TO SAY IT

Number of blankets they sleep with:

afhiri has one blanket and it's whoever is sleeping in bed with them..... other than that afhiri is going to kick that shit off in their sleep because they fidget like hell unless there's the weight of someone else holding them down. weight blanket person candor DOESN'T SLEEEPPP CIROK DOESN'T SL PEPEEPEP

Random fact:

afhiri has 6 fingers on each hand :)

candor spent so long flying around and simply floating that when entering self imposed exile and disguising itself as a tiefling it had to figure out how to walk :D

cirok has to spend many hours a day caring for its resin. its a super delicate task that cannot be interrupted. without this resin cirok will die in torils atmosphere :).........

TAGS!!!!!!!!!!

@ancientsigil @gwynbleidd @grymforge @euryalex @courierseis @kelemvorr @dandeyrain @dekarios @enverflymm @lord-woolsley @bootheminiaturegiantspacehamster @captaintiny @dameaylin @masckarlach @haarlep @sovereign-spaw @johnnystorm @maxthetruman @princeofhags and anyone else who wants to do it consider urself tagged by me ^_^!!

[ziskandra]

1, 8, and 10 for the Violence Meme :3

1. The character everyone gets wrong

The way that ‘Loghain Mac Tir’ immediately comes to mind probably says a lot about the way he’s portrayed in fandom, huh… While I obviously don’t expect anyone to see my blorbos 100% the same as me, sometimes I’ll see takes that are so diametrically opposed mine that I’m just like: huh.

That being said, Loghain is a very complex and layered character, and all the different possible ways to read his motivations only leads credence to that fact.

Anyway, here are my own preferences/biases when it comes to Loghain:

1) Maric is Loghain's everything, and not only that, but the Maric that lives in Loghain’s head is even larger than the man himself was in real life. Personally, I like how this explains the discrepancy between the way Loghain describes Maric (as though he farts rainbows) and the way Maric is described in the tie-in novels (rather punchable).

Sure, they might've gone through a lot of shit together, but Loghain is completely abnormal about Maric and I love that for them.

2) I think Cailan’s death at Ostagar wasn't planned, per se, but rather that Loghain was willing to take that loss if necessary.

And look, Loghain did try to warn Cailan that fighting on the front lines would be foolhardy, but Cailan refused to listen and well… what can I say other than Loghain knows how to pick his battles? 😌

3) Loghain is not very politically savvy: I like to think Anora got her more astute people skills from her mother.

That being said, I think people sometimes forget how at the start of Origins, Loghain is a man deeply in mourning: in the preceding years he’s lost his best friend and his wife.

I feel this is also part of why he doesn’t realise he can rely on Anora: fully accepting that she’s a capable adult and no longer a little girl with pigtails as skinned knees would be to accept that there is no going back, he can never go back: the happiest, most purposeful part of his life is behind him and who is he, other than a father with a disobedient daughter, and the general of a nation that is starting to rise up against him?

Loghain basically suffers from like, a catastrophic loss of identity during the course of the game and is pretty much ready to die by The Landsmeet. If anything he’s glad to have found such a worthy opponent in the Warden: it means Ferelden’s fate is in good hands.

4) Leading to my last point: a combination of all the factors above means Loghain is very open to manipulation (by Howe, by Anora, by the Warden should they so choose).

That being said, I don’t think that absolves him of his complicity in his crimes, and especially not the slavery in the alienage. He very much knew the elves were being sold, but had also accepted that the alienage was lost to the darkspawn. I can certainly see someone with Loghain’s background deciding that giving the elves at least some chance of survival as well while also making more money for the war effort as the practical choice. While it’s not the moral choice, it is a pragmatic one and Loghain is a pragmatist.

Anyway my actual point is that while some Loghain fans might try and minimise his involvement in the alienage, I find it far more fascinating to explore through the lens of who he is a person. After all, I am not looking at fiction to inform my morals wholesale, but rather to explore other perspectives, and I am especially drawn to how people can justify atrocities to themselves, SO! Here I am, sharing my Loghain thoughts on tumblr dot com 😌

[choose violence ask meme]

[ladyzerodark]

So, Shadow Beasts. How do they work? Are they independent creatures a la Digimon with partners? Manifestations of a person's psyche conjured with a special type of magic? Or is there some greater force behind them?

Honestly? They're a bit of mix of all three.

I had to hunt around for a document I had written up about them (which is why it took so long to answer) but despite me not touching it since 2013, the information is still pretty much the same!

Apologies for this wall of text and if it sounds a little dramatic. I think I was trying to make it seem like a legit scientific study when I wrote it. I am taking out some parts that were just fluff though.

"Shadow Beasts are creatures formed of a human’s will to change itself.

In psychology, particularly Jungian Psychology, the Shadow is a part of the inner workings of the mind, along with the Anima/Animus, Self and other Jungian Archetypes. The Shadow contains suppressed and/or repressed aspects of the person’s personality. Depending on how you look at it, this Shadow could have good and/or bad traits. The bad traits are those that the person refuses to accept as a part of himself or herself. The good traits are those that the person has yet to find in themselves.

Shadows Beasts are similar to the Shadow of the mind, and some consider them to be the physical manifestation. However this is not 100% correct. Shadows Beasts represent two aspects of their wielder’s personality: Something they desire and something they need to learn."

Let's use Dark and her main Shadow Beast, Marciano, as an example. One of Dark’s desires is to have a strong presence in her life, someone she can look up to and help her grow and one thing she needed to learn is how to teach others. Marciano, while not originally her Beast, was first summoned to a home where his wielder was the father of a new child, but was unprepared for it. The presence of Marciano allowed him to grow both as a father and a person. When he was given to Dark, Marciano was almost forced into a world where he needed to interact with more humans than he’s used to. This gave Dark the opportunity to teach him about humanity and how to interact with them. These ended up being exactly what she needed: a strong presence and someone to teach.

The creation of the Shadow Beasts varies on the type. The two types are Shadow Borne and Shadow Forged.

Borne are the Shadow Beasts that were born of other beasts. Marciano is an example of this, as his mother is the Shadow Beast called Moira. So in that sense they are beings separate from the mind of their wielder but a higher power does still connect them to where they need to go, again, like Marciano finding Dark.

Forged are Shadows Beasts created by the wielder themselves. Sometimes it’s accidental, other times they do so on purpose. There is a being called the Master Shadow, the first Shadow Beast, that was made a very long time ago by a demi-goddess with high darkness affinity but is still around today, going from wielder to wielder.

Most Beasts, regardless of how they were created, are very long lived, the Master Shadow being the oldest, and can have multiple wielders within their lifetime, regardless of the type they are (though Forged tend to stick closer to the soul of the wielder than Borne). It should also be noted that depending on how powerful the wielder's affinity for shadow magic is, they can have multiple Beasts partnered up with them. Dark, due to her powerful affinity, has multiple partner Beasts, though Marciano is considered her main partner. There is a third way to create one, one very recently discovered, but that will be explored in the story more. I have hinted at it in the memes, but only once or twice. Now, I assume these questions also have to do with Orion and how his shadow beast became the way it was. In his case, his Beast was a Forged, therefore VERY, VERY close to his psyche. Because of how badly his personality warped due to his obsessions, it caused the Beast to lose many of it unique aspects, turning it more into a tool than a living being. It became another obsession of his to make every wielder have a Beast like him, so all of the younger wielders he manipulated had Forged Beasts rather than Borne. Unlike Orion's, because their wielders are being manipulated, most of these beasts were able to keep a core part of their personality, "Protect their wielder". And like with all living beings, it is possible for a Shadow Beast to die, though it is very difficult to kill them. In Kaiya's, the little girl found by Dark in that one comic I did, case, her beast used up all his energy to keep her alive, after the experiments that Stoica and Orion put her through. I would say the closest feeling to losing a Beast would be feeling as though you've lost the closest person to you and you feel as though there is a massive hole in your heart where they were. It is traumatizing, and there are a few that have gone through it: Kaiya, Priti and Rezar being a few named examples. Should they wish, they can try to form a bond with a Borne Beast, but they would be unable to form another Forged. Priti is, so far, the only one who decided to find another beast; Rezar decided it was too much for him. Ah! I should also note that most wielders know each other, as there are only a few teachers of shadow magic; Orion and Dark studied under the wielders Sakina and Qinlia, for example.

Oh and aside from maybe, like, four or five, most Beasts, Forged or Borne, have a name starting with M. I honestly do not remember, nor can I find, a reason for it but eh, it's been years since I first made them so it's on me for not keeping track.

I'm still toying around with some ideas as to how they work in the Shadow Robot Wars AU canon, but that's pretty much the sum of it.

Sorry again for the wall of text!

[duckprintspress]

Fandom Lexicon: T

Lots of social media platforms in our “T” update. What’s up with that?

View the entire fandom lexicon posted thus far.

See an omission? Notice a mistake? Let us know!

Lexicon Entries Beginning with T:

T4T: Abbreviation for “trans for trans.” Typically used to refer to relationships (platonic or romantic) in which both partners are transgender. Can also be used in a “personals” setting to indicate a trans person looking for other trans people. See also: Bi4Bi.

TANSTAAFL: Abbreviation for “there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.” An old internet abbreviations meant to indicate that people shouldn’t expect to get anything for free (and that if someone got taken in by a scam or bad actor, they brought it on themselves for thinking they could get something for nothing – and as such, it’s a little victim-blamey).

TBH: Abbreviation for “to be honest.”

TBR: Abbreviation for “to be read,” most often used to refer to books one intends to read but hasn’t yet.

Tea: Gossip, insider information, all the gory details of a drama. Typically used in phrases like “spill the tea” (share the gossip), “that tea is piping hot” (fresh gossip shared with personal commentary), or “sipping tea” (watching a drama occur with a sort of “I knew that would happen” attitude).

Teal Deer: See TL:DR.

TERF: Abbreviation for “trans-exclusive radical feminist/feminism.” What it says on the tin: radfems/radical feminists who do not consider trans women to be women and therefore explicitly exclude trans women from their feminism. TERFs are not welcome here. Read more about TERFism.

The Cake is a Lie: A reference to the game Portal, in which the cake is, in fact, a lie. Became widely used as a way of saying “a promised reward doesn’t actually exist/isn’t real.” Read more about the “The Cake is a Lie” meme.

Thembo: Portmanteau of “them” and “himbo/bimbo.” A good looking and well-intentioned nonbinary person who is lacking in foresight/intelligence. See also: himbo.

There Was Only One Bed: A fic trope in which two people are forced to share a bed and as a result develop (or act on existing) feelings for each other. Read more about the “there was only one bed” trope.

Thirst Trap: Typically used in reference to sexually charged photos, GIFs, or videos of an attractive celebrity or character. Read more about thirst traps.

Tiktok: A social media platform focused on short videos as the primary content, and/or the videos created and shared on that platform. Visit Tiktok.

Tinhat: A fandom conspiracy theorist who believing something absurd with very little supporting evidence; believing something absurd when all evidence is against it. A person who does this is a tinhatter, and the verb form is tinhatting. Especially commonly used when people who ship an RPF ship believe, despite any existing evidence to the contrary, that their ship is real. Read more about tinhatting.

TL:DR: Too Long: Didn’t Read: Originally created as an accusation, as people opted out of reading posts and said they didn’t because it was too long and they didn’t read it. Later, posters co-opted the term, and it’s now often used at the end of a long and/or complicated written piece to providing a short summary of the contents of that post. The term “teal deer” is a made-up pronunciation of TL:DR. Read more about the term TL:DR.

Tokusatsu: A genre of live-action Japanese media, usually involving superheroes, giant monsters, and/or mecha. Read more about tokusatsu.

Tone Indicator: A system by which some people mark what they write with an indicator meant to communicate the tone in which something was said. For example, if they’re being serious versus being sarcastic, if a question is genuine or trolling, etc. Tone indicators are most often written with a slash followed by an abbreviation, however the system can be confusing for people who aren’t familiar with the abbreviations, the more so because different communities will use the same abbreviations to mean different things. Read a list of common tone indicators.

Top: 1. The giver of penetration. 2. The dominant in a D/s relationship. 3. In shibari, the person doing the tying. These usages are often conflated, but they are not actually synonymous. See also: bottom.

TPB: Abbreviation for “trade paperback,” a size of book.

TPTB: Abbreviation for “the powers that be.” Usually refers to the producers/creators of a specific franchise, because they are all knowing/all powerful as relates to that franchise and can dictate what fandom can only speculate about. Read more about TPTB.

Transmigration: A genre of East Asian media wherein a character who is either in a coma or dead finds themselves awakening in a different world, often but not always a world of a book, show, or video game. See also: isekai. Read more about transmigration.

Troll: Someone who says offensive or objectionable things, or engages in a conversation in bad faith, with the intentional goal of provoking those they engage with. However, this term is sometimes used facetiously to refer to someone (including oneself) being humorously obnoxious. A fundamental rule of the internet: never engage with the troll. Read more about trolls.

Trope: Any plot device found across many stories and many genres, that can be reduced to a common descriptive phrase. Tropes can be a convenient short-hand for indicating what the content a piece of media includes. In and of themselves, tropes aren’t bad or good, but they can be used to flag the presence of objectionable material or favorite motifs. Examples: enemies to lovers; there was only one bed; coffee shop AU. Read more about tropes.

TTRPG: Abbreviation for “tabletop roleplaying game.” A roleplaying game played with pen, paper, and dice. Examples: Dungeons & Dragons; Pathfinder. See also: DM, JRPG, MMORPG. Read more about TTRPGs.

Tumblr: A blogging platform that is popular with fandom, in part due to the site’s structure, and in part because (with a handful of notable exceptions) celebrities and businesses don’t go there. Visit Tumblr.

Tumblr Porn Ban: In December of 2018, Tumblr instituted new rules against pornography and other explicit photographic content because the Tumblr app had been removed from the Apple App Store. Many accounts were instantly terminated, and automated filters and contracted moderation teams unfairly targeted queer and trans individuals as a result of this policy. The restriction of depicting “female-presenting nipples” led to especially wide-spread ridicule. Read more about the Tumblr porn ban.

TVTropes: A website that names and lists story tropes. Visit TVTropes.

TW: Abbreviation for “trigger warning.” An accessibility tool meant to help individuals with PTSD avoid triggering content. This tag must be accompanied by a descriptor to be useful; for example: “TW: Rape” or “TW: gore.” There is, unfortunately, little agreed-upon formatting for whether the TW part goes first or last, whether punctuation is used, etc., but it’s worth aiming at least for internal consistency on one’s own blog or platform so that people can block terms accordingly. See also: CW. Read more about triggers and trigger warnings.

Twincest: Incest between twins. Read more about twincest.

Twitch: A streaming platform, most often used for gaming. Visit Twitch.

Twitter: A microblogging platform now called X. Its prominence as a fandom platform has been slowly dwindling since it was purchased by Elon Musk. Visit Twitter.

Two Cakes: A fandom-standard response to when someone says, “I can’t do X, it’s not original, someone else has done it before.” It’s a reminder that while creators may feel that their work is duplicative/unoriginal, readers usually want a lot of stories and art that shares similar themes – no one who has one cake goes, “damn, no, I don’t want this second cake,” they go, “holy shit, two cakes!” Read more about the two cakes meme.

[octopanko]

hi I have no art so. I have a giant list of information I wrote down about my interpretations for the splat 3 promo kids. bc it's so fucking long I'll put most of them under the read more if you're curious. this is for you, very specific mutual

Veronika

"Veri" , "Ronika" , "Ron-ron" (by Hiro only) , Agent 3.0

roomates with Hiro, main caretaker of Smallfry

works at Grizzco, but is a liability due to hesitation to fight

brains < brawn, fight < flight

doesn't think before they act

wears heart on their sleeve

heart of gold, dumb of ass

Hiro

"Roro" (by Veronika/Yarwhal only) , Agent 3.1

roomates with Veronika, secondary caretaker of Smallfry

one sided crush on Veronika, and later mutual crush on Yarwhal

works at Grizzco, but is a liability due to hesitation to fight

brains > brawn, fight > flight

nervous and skittish. skeptical

tries to do the right thing in any situation, which leads to many moral dilemmas

despite hiding his emotions a lot he's pretty sensitive

anxiety

Yarwhal

"Yar" , "Whally"

brothers with Kayoss

mutual crush on Hiro

originally from the Octarian Army

made his way to the surface with Kayoss through the metro. managed to avoid getting dragged into the sanitization project

brains = brawn, fight > flight

very strategic and serious about games, but isn't a sore loser or anything. good sportsmanship

bit of a troublemaker, just silently. somehow gets his hands on things he DEFINITELY shouldn't have

has modified weapons before

Kayoss

"KK"

brothers with Yarwhal

originally from the Octarian Army

made his way to the surface with Yarwhal through the metro. managed to avoid getting dragged into the sanitization project

brains < brawn, fight = flight

dumb of ass with no braincell

shows off and often humiliates himself

tries to be his brother's wingman (somehow succeeds)

says stuff like "rizz" unironically

Anemone

"Mimi" (by Tako only) , "Annie"

roommates with Tako

brains < brawn, fight > flight

weirdly short but same age as everyone else

CHRONICALLY online.

games all day and gets gamer rage

streams games online

weirdly good at turf

says stuff like "lol" and "lmao" out loud

quotes memes constantly

Tako

no nicknames

roommates with Anemone

brains = brawn, fight > flight

sassy

probably gossips

tinkerer and definitely has modded weapons

regular at Ammo Knights

decorates their locker perfectly

also the mom friend

knows a lot of survival tips for some reason

Calamar

"Callie" , "Marmar"

lives by themselves

brains > brawn, fight < flight

albino

doesn't speak or emote much but isn't emotionless

chronic gambler at the shell-out machine

best grizzco worker out of everyone

guilty pleasure is learning tiktok dances and doing them in the bathroom

Stephanie

"Steph"

lives with their parents

brains < brawn, fight > flight

omg she's so crazy! love her!

most chaotic and unhinged of the group

throws parties for various events for everyone (bdays, squidmas, splatoween, etc)

super passionate about splatfest themes and will vehemently argue about the theme for hours

they wear the helmet cause they think it's cool. no one else does

spoils Smallfry like a grandma

[lady-harrowhark]

⭐ PYGTWTSOG?

It took me a second to recognize the acronym lmao. Can't even recognize my own fic because I gave it such a stupidly long title 💀

It turns out that I’m not answering any of these with “sections” lololol. But! One of the things I had so much fun with while writing this was finding places to work in references - both to the actual books as well as to other media and memes! Some of them are pretty minor to the point that I’m not sure they really count as a “reference” exactly, but I certainly put them in there while thinking of a specific source! 

With regard to the books themselves, I often used particular wording with the intention of it being from the books, even if it wasn’t at all in the context of how they were originally used. Off the top of my head, in the first chapter there’s things like “...trying to take advantage of the opportunity while I had your full attention” (“I died knowing you’d hate me for dying; but Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I’d had your full attention.”) and “...absolutely unprepared to have this conversation and fundamentally unequipped to manage the implications it conveyed” (“She absolutely and fundamentally could not do this.”) etc.

I did try to keep a running log of references to other things as I was writing… I think I got all of them? Again, some of these are very minor (and some of them are direct shoutouts), but if anyone ever wants to play Reference Bingo, here’s your card:

And then everyone clapped

Headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you

10 Things I Hate About You

Accepted

And therefore no one can criticize me

ELI5

Tamsyn’s GtN summary

Maury

Parks and Rec

Pride and Prejudice

Homestuck

Aquamarine

The Addams Family

None pizza

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Pacific Rim

The Good Place

Why would you ask us, a Narnia blog, this

Stranger Things

The Princess Bride

Taylor Swift (LWYMMD, YBWM, Speak Now, Folklore, Out of the Woods, Anti-Hero)

As a treat

Mae Martin

Happy for you, or sorry that happened

Juno

Talladega Nights

The Gay & Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo

The Mixed Tape, Jack’s Mannequin

(from this ask game)

[andromedaexists]

Hello I am gracing your inbox to give you the excuse to exposite about Desecrate changes because I am the epitome of that one Spiderverse meme waiting to hear about it. I'm curious. Pretend there's an eye emoji here I'm on my laptop

HI HELLO ALEX I WILL GLADLY TALK ABOUT THE CHANGES

There are mainly two (2) sections of changes: academic changes and structural changes. The structural changes are much more spoiler ridden though, so as soon as I feel like there's more in depth information being talked about imma throw it under a cut

So. Academic changes

I have talked a little bit about the creation of Desecrate and where the idea came from, but that was a long time ago at this point. Desecrate became a WIP in late 2022 when I was taking a class called Ancient Christianities with the amazing Professor Larson (whom I miss dearly now that I am graduated)

This class, as the name implied, focused on the Ancient sources of Christianity and really the birth of the religion (specifically the start of the organization of religion after the death of Jesus and all that). we learned a lot about the proto-orthodox christians, what processes and theologies went into the creation of the canon texts, the heresies that were birthed in the time between the life of Jesus and unification of the church, and looking into the texts themselves and what qualifies them as canon-worthy or not. I took this class at the request of a good friend of mine (I see you, Vinny. I am never taking a class you recommend again) who was a religious studies concentration, though it wasn't hard to convince me seeing as I have a history of academic interest into Catholicism specifically.

The section of that class I really focused on, though, was the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Nag Hammadi library, and the heresies of Gnosticism and Marcionism. All this to say, I looked at all these and went "what if the heresies became the dominant beliefs? how would that change our current Abrahamic religions?"

That is what Desecrate was based on. However, I have recently had an academic shift from this to something more along the lines of "what if the beliefs the heresies were based on is correct, but they went about it in a really fucked way and also the universe course corrected to cover up this change?" I am now more interested in picking apart the Church as it currently stands and incorporating more themes of "the Church lies" and "the Church hides stuff" than I am at looking at a full alternate history.

Okay this is getting long now and also about to get spoilery so here's the cut:

So basically, while I originally intended for there to be 2 Gods with one chained in the basement and needing to be freed, it has shifted from "that's just the way the church is, look at the history" to "This is really fucked up that the Church hid this information for so long and literally lied to the world's face when confronted about it"

Another major thing that has changed is the structure of the story. In a couple ways.

First, Desecrate was supposed to be a novella. It was supposed to be a short, quick, and punchy story about this kid who finds God trapped in the basement and wants to get fucked by them. That's it.

Desecrate is now a full length novel, actually it's looking to be the longest things I've written! It's going to be a tome of a book split into sections based on a prayer I said growing up. And that was a bit issue and most of the reason why I'm starting over. I started this as a novella, but the pacing stayed as that of a novella even as I expanded it. The dream sequences were just moving too fast, the characters were developing at a rate that would leave them stagnant by halfway through the book, and I just didn't know how to fix it.

Another thing that's changed is the ending. The original ending that I planned the entire story of Desecrate around was an open ending. It was a "Oh my God you found God and you're freeing them and also you're the messiah?" then a cut to black. That's it. End of story.

Then, I was like "okay but what if they escaped and then walked away from humanity and the church and disappeared forever?" to which I went "nah I don't like that that invites a sequel". Then it became "okay so I need to figure out what happens after this scene. I can have this scene, cut to black, then we hit the last quarter of the book and the last prayer transition" to which I realized that no matter what I try, I can't think of another way to end this. Kit's story was meant to be open ended, it was meant to be a story of learning to live with who you are and there will never be an ending satisfying enough for me on that. This story is a love letter to the kid I was growing up, and I can't end that story yet when that kid never got theirs.

Speaking of that last quarter, though, another major part of Desecrate that's changed is the way I use the prayer and dream sequences. The prophetic dreams were a lot more important to the story in it's original iteration. The prayer that the story was created around is this one:

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep If I shall die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take

This is a prayer I grew up saying, one that I forgot about until roughly late 2022. It is one that has become incredibly important to me again as I learned that not a lot of people know that prayer in the area I was raised in. I had to say it every night, though, and I've started to piece together a reason why (that I'm not going to go into depth about here but I will say it is chronic illness related).

So the story takes place in Kit's dreams for the most part after he says his prayer before bed, right? Not anymore.

Now the story is mostly in the waking world, though Kit still has prophetic dreams. It's just become more along the lines of "i don't know what these dreams are and I feel like I'm losing my mind because of them" and then finding out what they mean through his studies and the guiding hand of a scholar.

So yeah, these are the majority of the differences in what Desecrate was pre-scrap and post-scrap. Also I was forced (/hj) to sit down and create a usable time based outline for Desecrate by Clanky when we were in VA and now I have a masturbation calendar for out boy Kit. Just quirky things, y'know?

[autumnalwalker]

Happy Blorbo Blurbsday!!

Do any of your character's names have a special meaning? If yes - who and what? If no - how then did you choose the names?

<3

CJ

So, most of my character names come out of random generation, but there are a few exception. Let's break it down by story.

The Archivist's Journal:

Almost all of the names in The Archivist's Journal I pulled from random dice roll tables in the back of the D&D sourcebook Xanathar's Guide To Everything. With three notable exceptions.

Pat: The friendly and nostalgic Village elder who's the first one to greet the Archivist upon washing up on the shore and repeatedly acts as a source of information and advice (albeit one fond of cryptic phrasing). His name was mostly a reference to the the book Life of Pi by Yann Martel, and its protagonist Piscine Molitor "Pi" Patel who at one point winds up on a rather strange island but who also might be phrasing the entire story as a metaphor and/or coping mechanism. There's probably also a little bit of a reference to Saint Patrick as a revered figure associated with an island.

Theo: Pat's far less cordial counterpart who's implied to be possibly immortal, or something close to it. His name's mostly a pun about the theoretical and theological implications of his existence and role in the world of the Village.

Vernon: I don't know, dude just felt like a "Vernon" to me.

Empty Names:

So, with the main cast, in my initial brainstorming document I had them listed as Characters A/B/C/D/E, and they were arranged by gender with A and E being cis but gender noncomforming, B and D being transmasc and transfemme respectively, and C being genderfluid. This is the sort of conceptual symmetry that pleases me. A became Ashan Glassheart, B became Sullivan Bridgewood, and E became Eris. C and D became Road and Lacuna respectively, breaking from that original letter association (although maybe if I ever decide on a last name for Lacuna it will start with a D).

Ashan and Sullivan's names ultimately came from https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/, with some modification along the way. For Eris, I just started adding random syllables after the letter 'E' until something sounded good (the mythological reference was a happy accident, albeit one I embraced). Road and Lacuna's names were a bit more involved, and largely owe themselves to this post (that post also dictated which generator I used for Sullivan's name).

In trying to name Lacuna like a "22nd century cyberpunk hacker jewel thief" I remembered a word I'd been fond of ever since I first encountered it while reading Mervyn Peake's Titus Groan. It's a word that on one level just sounds really cool to me on a strictly phonetic sense, and on another level appeals to my fascination with absence/emptiness/void. I'd used it for one or two video game characters in the past and have always been on the lookout for a place to use it on a character for whom it would really fit, and I think found I finally found it with this Lacuna. Also, having named her a word meaning "an unfilled space or interval; a gap" was part of what led to the story as a whole being titled Empty Names. One part a play on Lacuna's name, and one part a reference to the linguistic philosophy/metaphysics concept of a proper name that refers to something or someone that doesn't exist. That concept in turn winds up referring in the story both to deadnames and to Road's ontological issues.

As for Road's name, that's partially a result of that previously-linked meme post about trans names commenting about non-binary names often being nouns, and partly a matter of them being a sort of spiritual successor to my oldest OC. That was a character that I'd been making up stories for since elementary or middle school (but never writing any of them down) whose thing was traveling from world to world, trying to do good, but most often by either providing additional support for the actual main character or by making some minor change that sets off a butterfly effect of consequences. They were originally a self-insert fanfic character but over time I started making up original stories just for them. Again, never wrote any of it down, just something to keep me occupied while daydreaming or trying to get to sleep that I continuously added to over time. And then in highschool I heard Greenday's Boulevard of Broken Dreams for the first time and that character suddenly had both a name and a framing device for how they got from world to world. Their name (more of a title really, not having a real name was a big part of their character) became The Walker (or just "Walker") and they traveled a seemingly infinite interdimensional highway, lined with bubbles that acted as portals to various worlds. While not the same character, Road inherited a lot of The Walker's characteristics and made the road that The Walker walked into their own name-that's-actually-just-a-convenient-alias-because-they-don't-have-a-real-Name-anymore.

The Melts:

Just a small one-off standalone story that I wrote for Halloween, but the name of the main character, Mil, has its roots in my personal life even further back than Road's.

When I was really young, I watched the movie Milo and Otis more times than I can remember. That's a movie about a kitten (Milo) and puppy (Otis) that grow up on a farm, become best friends, and then get lost and separated and grow up while trying to find their way back home and eachother. And then when my siblings and I finally talked our parents into getting us a cat, we wound up with an orange kitten that we named Milo, whom I also have a lot of nostalgia about, but anecdotes about him are a story for another time. Suffice to say, the name "Milo" and its feline association has stuck in my head for my entire life, resulting in several characters in RPGs getting named Milo (including my Guild Wars 2 charr) and an OC that was related to my oldest OC, The Walker (see the explanation on Road's name above).

Anyway, when I was coming up with the main POV character for The Melts I wanted it to be someone with biological augmentations that would be notable but not too weird. This led to the classic catgirl/catboy ears and tail; something that's just a little bit out there for a "normal" human being to have in our world, but would be considered boring and basic in that world. But I also wanted gender to be all over the place in that story, and so I made the POV character they/them nonbinary (again, simultaneously very slightly unusual in our world, but the most boring/basic/"normal" option that appears in that world story). So, the cat ears/tail led to me pulling "Milo" out as my archetypal catboy and then slicing the 'o' off of the end of the name to make it slightly more nonbinary by being less associated with a common-ish real-world masculine-gendered name.

The rest of the names in that story I left as placeholders until the entire story was written and then randomly pulled a bunch of names from babynames.com (with minor modifications) as I rushed to get the story posted in time for Halloween.

[armedjoy]

a long and (later on) personal post about my engagement and future on this site beneath the cut

to start, some observations about my time here:

disco elysium holds the record for the first fandom im truly engaging with. i check the tags, read the 'spinoff' fiction, its fun. one could say our ideological milieus here are themselves a fandom, but in terms of something thats strictly media, this is it. going on 11 years here and thats what broke the streak, its that fucking good.

i regret deleting my sideblog 'information-nexus' back in '15. it was an organized and well-tagged news, theory, "how-to", and resource blog, but it was taking way too much of my time. i was attempting to make a whole ass virtual library on tumblr, which is far too ambitious for one person, especially considering that it would never pay bills. i shouldve opened it up to some friends to co-mod it and dialed back my involvement. oh well

i regret less the deletion of 'film-space' in '14. posts were just the movie poster with a brief summary of the plot and then a quick review. i came up with my own system that reworked the 4 star ratings into how id recommend based on genre preferences. film reviews in print seem to belabor the point and online reviews seem to lean too heavily on arbitrarily defined scoring. the point should be to either encourage or dissuade readers from seeing it, not remind them you're the wittiest person in the room or that you've atomized the medium into an exploded diagram, and i held to that. it forced me to watch movies more critically wrt to both the art form and the politics it portrayed. but i took an extended break from the site and lost momentum. it just seemed... pointless

ive been pretty bad with managing every inbox/ chat ive ever had - except this one, the personal blog. i tell myself "i'll get around to answering that" and thats been a lie most of the time. the vast majority of my time here is spent reading things that cross my dash, so getting a question on a completely different subject seems to exceed my bandwidth. i genuinely enjoy most of my interactions here but im simply not in the correct mindset most days. that said, most of the mail 'left-reminders' has gotten just feels like im being asked to do an undergrads homework.

i havent posted my face in, what, 8 years? which i might change. i mean im already fucked - ive posted some wild shit before [REDACTED] was a meme, and my face is already linked to this blog & backed up somewhere at fort meade. whats another hole in an already sunk ship, yeah?

funnily enough, i originally joined to post my photography & short stories. look how that turned out lmao

why am i posting this? ive been seriously evaluating my continued presence here. for some time ive had a desire to leave, which up to this point has been greatly outweighed by the reasons to stay. there are other platforms that are bigger, faster, algorithmically supercharged to provide every niche interest you allow it to know... but im still not as invested as i am here. tumblr's appeal is equal parts utilitarian and sentimental - no other platform has been this educational, informing, and entertaining. this place really is the internets bleeding edge for both humor and anarchist/ communist discourse. and for more personal reasons, i have greatly valued sharing this little corner of the internet with you all. i have enjoyed sharing each of your interests and discussions, witnessing your personal developments. know that this random guy on the internet is & always has been rooting for you.

ive had some serious rough patches over the last decade, and ive used this site as a grounding rod as much as a resource and social outlet. but my friend group is vast now, im living healthier, and im making positive changes. for the first in a very long time, i am truly feeling better, finally moving beyond 'managing' into 'growing.' and more than anything, i need to grow creatively.

simply put, writing fiction is the calling of my heart. and if im to commit to it, i cannot divide my attention. beyond being my sole committed creative outlet, it helps me manage daily life. writing feels like gardening: in the structure it builds to do it right, the determination it requires to continue when i fail, and the joy it inspires when i create. when an idea settles in and i can piece it together while going about my day, only sitting down to write when i know most of it. the emotion i experience after unwinding something that has rooted itself around my mind is tremendous and complicated - it feels like an exorcism, of sorts. the feverishness that seizes me to get it all down before it slips away, the relief when i know i can finally move on, the pride of creation, and the dreadful anticipation of being read - all of it is a bittersweet cup that i will gladly return to.

i need to make space for that, with whatever little amount of bandwidth i have to work with. i refuse to wake up one day knowing that i have postponed the only thing thats ever meant a damn to me, only to realize ive run out of time. i will not squander whats left.

at some point, i know i need to put this behind me. this, and several other self-imposed obligations, must greatly diminish or disappear entirely. it might be in a few weeks or a year, but it has to happen. i might keep this one up, sporadically popping in for occasional exchanges, and pass off the sideblogs to someone else. i've already scrubbed the archive. or maybe i'll just delete entirely; perhaps virtual presences are best if they resembled a sand mandala, something designed to be swept away to make space for something - or someone - new.

i had to write this down, get this all out, if only for myself. i cannot begin to estimate the amount of time ive spent here, so it had to be said for my own reconciliation of that time... and to keep myself to it.

when im ready to leave, i'll let you all know.

[pangolinheart]

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Thank you so much for sending in an ask!

By most accounts, Rhiki is a really open person. She's happy to relinquish any biographical information about herself from the get-go. She's not secretive about her past, or her family, or her hobbies. She'll happily tell about her likes and dislikes. She'll even tell you embarrassing stories about herself pretty much right away. She's talkative in general, and she also thinks that honesty and communication are important in a relationship (though if the person she's talking to doesn't feel comfortable opening up so early on, that's okay! Everyone has their stuff. She doesn't want to pressure people into talking about thing they're not comfortable with.

There are some topics that she wouldn't necessarily bring up of her own volition (anything painful or depressing). But if you ask she'll tell you. She isn't trying to hide them, they just don't make for very fun dinner conversation. She doesn't want to bring down the mood.

The only things she isn't open about are her own less-than-flattering emotions. It will take time and trust for her to talk about these. She barely talks about them with anyone, even some of the people she's closest with. Sometimes it's because she knows they're going through their own struggles and they need her to be the strong, stable one. They don't need her baggage on top of theirs. Sometimes it's because she feels like they won't understand. She might even feel like they would think less of her if they knew. These are thing like her own self-doubt, her selfish little desires, her bottled-up anger, her fear of rejection, her fear of being alone. These are things people don't want to see from her. They're things she doesn't want to see in herself. So she slaps on a smile and pretends they're not there. If she does a good enough job pretending, sometimes it feels like they're not there. She tries not to think about them, tries not to talk about them. She'd much rather talk about the time a wharf rat stole her sandwich and everyone saw her slip and fall off the dock trying to chase it.

(Original ask meme can be found here)