#literally not the same story that it started as

[monstersflashlight]

Patreon Commission for anon

Request: I’d like to do a werewolf male. Typical bulk big dicked guy. I want him to have a chubby human female as his mate. She is nervous to have sex because he is so massive, so he “warms her up” with fingers turned fisting. I would like it to be soft and gentle, a dom slowly stretching his sub and praising them along the way type deal. Obviously it’s going to be painful for her but praise and loving touches help

A/N: Hope you enjoy this story, it was very fun to write. :)

Sex induced coma

Werewolf x fem!reader || size kink, fisting, praise kink, dom/sub (light), edging, dirty talk

When you started dating your werewolf boyfriend, you knew intimacy was going to be hard between you two. But as a surprise to both of you, it wasn’t.

Well, mostly.

He loved to eat you out, to the point of having you coming and coming and coming for hours to an end, your body tired from orgasms, but unable to resist his clever tongue and hot grunts as you gushed around his mouth.

In the same way, you loved going down on him, even though the first time you saw his dick you were literally speechless, staring into a huge cock that could barely fit between your hands. He was massive… and you were a big size queen, who could blame you?

He refused to fuck you, he said it was dangerous, he would never fit, you were too small to fit…, and you understood his reasoning… but you didn’t share his opinion. So you persevered, you asked and begged to be fucked any chance you got. You asked with his fingers inside of you, you asked with his clever tongue against your pearl, and you asked with your little human tongue against his huge cock...

And he denied you over and over, but you knew he was starting to reconsider. You asked over and over again, and you knew he was starting to give in when he smiled at you when you asked. When he teased your pussy for hours, trying to fit another finger inside as you came messily around them.

And then he gave in and indulged in your shared pleasure. He laid you on the bed and got to it, smiling like a wolf as he watched you tremble under his hungry eyes. “Are you ready for this?” He asked.

You struggled to get the words out as his fingers made the first contact with your shivering cunt. “Ngh- yes.” You pushed your hips against his hand and he frowned, but his lips twitched, trying to hide a smile.

“None of that, little minx. You take them as I please, you are not in control here, are you?” His voice was amused and you could see the edge of his mouth twitching, trying not to smile. “Answer,” he pressed his thumb against your clit intently.

You looked at him, your eyes unfocused because of the pleasure. “N-no. You are.”

“I am what?” He asked again.

“In control. You are in control.” You assured him, your body shivering at his commanding tone. You didn’t know you liked him being in control as much as you did, it was intoxicating in the best way possible.

“Good girl.” His praise made your pussy twitch around his fingers and he chuckled.

He started a slow finger fucking, way too slow for your desperate cunt. You needed more, you wanted more. But he already told you, you had no control over what happened, over what he did or what pace he took. And the fact that you were at his mercy only drove you further into your pleasure.

You moaned and groaned, asking for more. Pleading for more. Little by little he stretched you, stopping every time you felt like you were about to cum, kissing trails across your stomach as he distracted you from your pleasure. Just to start all over again.

He kept teasing your G-spot with his wide fingers until you were sweating and your legs were trembling like crazy. Your pleasure was so high you couldn’t stop chanting, a chorus of ah ah ah leaving your mouth at every movement of his two fingers inside of you. His fingers were wide and long, you felt so full... almost to the point of pain.

And he didn’t stop talking, “you are going to feel like a dream around my cock, aren’t you?” You moaned in response, unable to form words with three fingers inside of you.

In and out, in and out. Driving you to the edge and stopping. Building up to an orgasm and leaving you dry as your pussy quivered around his fingers and your pussy leaked around his hand. You were drenched by the time he pushed another finger inside. The fourth was a big stretch, your pain and pleasure mixing. He scissored them inside, opening you up, caressing parts of you didn’t know existed.

“You are so tight, good goddess… A bit more darling, I know it’s a bit painful but you can take it. Come on, one more.” And then you felt his fifth finger slipping inside. The stretch was so awesome you felt a gush of juices dripping around his fingers, probably soaking his whole wrist. You couldn’t even be embarrassed, it was so hot you could only moan in ecstasy as he grunted and asked you to breathe.

When he pushed in his knuckles, and then his whole fist, you screamed his name so loud you were almost sure your whole neighborhood heard you. You felt stretched to the extreme, and his grunts were only making it better. “Such a good girl, taking my fist so well, you are so tight around me, such a pretty pussy taking me so well…” His words were borderline non-sense, but you couldn’t even understand him properly, your pleasure too high, too intense.

And when you were about to reach an orgasm…

He took out his hand, and you screamed. Your hands flying to his wrist to ask him for more. But then you felt the tip of his cock against your stretched hole. After all his teasing, you could barely be coherent when you asked: “Are you… are you gonna?”

He smiled at you sweetly, your whole body trembling in anticipation and pent up frustration. “Yes, darling. Are you ready?”

“Please,” was the only word you could get out.

He pushed inside of you slowly, his dick breaching your stretched pussy. You were glad you took his fist, because it was already a stretch to fit his length inside of you. “You are doing so well, such a good girl for me. You are taking me so well.” His words of encouragement made you preen, sweaty and on edge of the greatest orgasm of your life as he kept going further and further.

The moment he bottomed out, both of you screamed in ecstasy, the feeling like nothing else you’d ever felt. His face contorted with pleasure, pleasure you were giving him as you tightened around his length. He felt incredibly big, and you still felt so tight around him that you felt the veins of his shaft pulsating against your inner walls. It was exhilarating and your brain was rapidly losing focus as he started a slow pace.

“I’m not- I’m not gonna last much longer, honey,” he grunted between short hard thrusts.

“I- I’m…”

You didn’t even finish that thought before you were screaming his name loud enough to wake up every single bird in the surrounded area, probably your neighbors across town, too. But you didn’t care. The orgasm washed over you like the sun hitting snow. It was mind-blowing and full body pleasure that drove you into the next dimension, one where pain and pleasure were the same and you couldn’t get enough of either.

You came down to your body as he kept thrusting, his non-sense a mix of “how good”, “how pretty”, “so tight and wet”… He was completely gone on his own pleasure, driving you further and further into the race for a second orgasm. His soaked hand found your clit, and his thumb caressed your pearl until your eyes rolled back into your head.

The first shot of come inside of you drove you over the edge, his howling matching your screams. Your orgasm hit you like a brick, leaving you breathless as the world faded and your pussy filled with his seed. There was so much of it, it overflowed your pussy, gushing around his length still buried deep inside of you. It was the best feeling in the universe and your brain could barely process all the pleasure rushing through your body at the same time.

He was kissing your forehead when your neurons got connection back. “Totally doing it again,” you whispered before you fell asleep into a sex-coma with his chuckles as a background sound.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 166 thoughts

As of chapter 166, Oshi no Ko has finished a roughly four-and-a-half year run started back in 2020. While there's some speculation about an epilogue or some extra content in volume 16 when it drops, this is where the main story ends. And you know what that means!!!

OSHI NO KO HAS OFFICIALLY ENDED WITHOUT ADDRESSING OR ACKNOWLEDGING THE FACT THAT RUBY KISSED HER BROTHER IN CHAPTER 143

please understand that this is FUCKING BOGUS

I'll probably do a longer post on this subject specifically, but my main critique of 143 when the chapter dropped was that while I liked the individual beats in it and I was really glad to see Akasaka finally addressing this tension bubbling underneath Aqua and Ruby's relationship, the immediate swerve away from showing us the aftermath of that kiss felt to me like an admission that the story was going to needlessly draw this out even more. Now that the story has ended and we can see that moment had literally no impact on the plot or even the character dynamics, I'd like to revise that statement - it feels like an admission of compromise. It feels like crumbs thrown to AquRuby fans to tempt them to keep reading and to stir up the waters of the ship wars, so people would keep reading and stay invested in the manga right to the very end. But most of all, it feels deeply disrespectful to both Aqua and Ruby as characters. Rather than exploring their feelings and giving both of them interiority and complexity in relation to incest or even just fucking acknowledging that the kiss had happened and letting their dynamic evolve, the series just memory holes the entire event and asks that you do too. Rather than letting Ruby have any development whatsoever as pertains to that relationship or, god forbid, let a female character move on romantically from the male lead, the series ends with her feelings so up in the air that I literally could not tell you what she thinks of Aqua by the time he dies.

ANYWAY… FINAL CHAPTER. BREATHES OUT VERY HARD.

I really can't believe it's taken us until the final chapter to actually deal with Ruby's grief over Aqua lol. We got a snippet of it last chapter but it was so brief that it really just felt like a tease. I also just think it's kind of bizarre that we're spending this little time on Ruby having feelings about Aqua's death to the extent that I have no idea how or when she found out about it.

It's also kind of hard to feel particularly strongly about Ruby's grief when the chapter doesn't really bother to explore it all that much. It's just a montage of Ruby quite literally Screaming, Crying and Throwing Up while Akane dispassionately narrates it all. The art also doesn't really help in terms of connecting with the emotions at play - I usually really like Mengo's expression work and the way she depicts extreme emotions but this all just felt like of… I don't know how else to put it. Goofy??? Is that an insane thing to say about Ruby grieving her brother???

Idk, something about both the panelling and just the extreme on-the-noseness of Ruby, again, literally Screaming, Crying Throwing Up while she's wearing a Burning cosplay Just In Case You, The Audience, Didn't Get It only for her to abruptly be done crying with no exploration or insight as to what's going on in her head that allows her to move forward.

Honestly, this is kind of the issue with everyone in the cast. The resolution is just sort of "Aqua died and we were sad about it but then we stopped being sad". I know what the story is trying to go for here - it's trying to express that even when you're in pain, life goes on and so you have to find a way to go on with it. But the result is that we spend all this time oogling at their pain without spending equivalent or even meaningful time on their recovery process.

It feels both excessive and undercooked at the same time and I'm left with the same icky, voyeuristic feeling I got from Aqua's funeral last chapter. This should be the point in the story at which we empathize with Ruby the most, but she remains a frustratingly distant figure right to the final pages. Part of this is an unfortunate consequence of Akane's narration directing these final chapters meaning that we're hearing about Ruby from an outsider's perspective and thus don't really see what's going on in her head… but if I can be frank, this has been an issue of Aka's with Ruby in particular basically nonstop since chapter 123.

As others & myself have noted, despite the absolutely catastrophic downward spiral Ruby is in at that point, Aqua revealing himself as Gorou basically flips it all off like a switch. There's some mild lipservice paid to the idea that Ruby is just using her dependency on Gorou to prop herself up and it's pointed out that the issues that contributed to her breakdown haven't actually been resolved - but none of these issues are ever even acknowledged again, let alone resolved. So, functionally, that reveal does fix all Ruby's problems in the space of a single chapter and the result is, again, that we spend multiple chapters gourging on depictions of Ruby's absolute rock bottom only for her to ping back to normal like a lightswitch. As such, the depictions of her pain feel less like explorations of Ruby's interiority and more like voyeuristic oogling at Ruby's misery and trauma and the effect is that the resolution to it all is both unsatisfying and a little gross. The result is that it feels like Akasaka is just indulgently mining the imagery of cute girls suffering because it causes simple thoughts neuron activation but doesn't respect these girls enough as characters to build them back up.

It doesn't help that this is basically the in-universe excuse for Ruby's career further skyrocketing. Instead of Ruby becoming a star on her own merits as the story keeps insisting she was supposed to, she's artificially buoyed by the public's morbid fascination with her tragedy. If I was feeling charitable towards the story right now, I would say this is an avenue of intentional critique but… well, I don't feel super charitable about the story right now lol

I WILL say that the one part of this chapter I did just uncomplicatedly like was the beat of Mem trying to suspend activities (presumably in the wake of her grief for Aqua) only for Kana to basically immediately explode into her room and help her get back on her feet. It's a beat that would've been much more effective if we'd, you know, seen it, but I otherwise enjoyed it and I thought it was sweet.

But. pbbbbtttt. I guess I can't talk around it any longer… let's get into the Dome concert.

To start things off on the immediately worst note possible, Akane describes Ruby performing at the Dome as being 'everyone's dream', including Aqua's. I'm reminded once again of the strange turn the story took in insisting that um, actually, performing at the Dome was totes Ai's dream all along (even though she literally didn't give a shit even a week before she was due to perform there herself) so Ruby performing there is fulfilling that dream for her!!! and I can't help but wonder if this abrupt shift in focus is an attempt to make readers forget what Ai's actual dream was - to see her beloved children grow up happy and healthy. Hell, it wasn't even really Aqua's dream, until the story suddenly had to try and convince us that his entire purpose for existence was to kill himself so Ruby could be an idol for slightly longer than she would've otherwise. The only people whose dreams she's textually fulfilling are Ichigo and Miyako and Ruby herself, but…

Honestly, is this really Ruby's dream anymore?

Who is Hoshino Ruby? What does she want? Why does she want it? These should be the very least of what we can concretely say about not only a protagonist but a character who has become a central figure of the entire story as Ruby has, but with the way Oshi no Ko has warped and distorted her, I find myself increasingly unsure of what the story wants her to be or how I should answer those questions.What does Ruby feel about Aqua? Was she still in love with him? Had she moved on, romantically? Was she still waiting for a response to her confession? Did she finally realize it was probably kind of shitty to respond to her brother going "lowkey wanna kms" by sticking her tongue down his throat? I Guess We'll Never Know.

This extends to whatever the fuck Ruby's relationship with idols and being an idol is. Almost the entirety of Ruby's time in the story has been spent reiterating over and over that Ruby cannot just be an idol who imitates Ai and that to truly shine, she needs to step out of her mom's shadow and shine in her own way. Ruby even literally tells Kana in no uncertain terms in 137 - "I'll be a star in my own way. I won't be like Mama."

While this has always been the text of the story, as I've pointed out before, the actual art with which Ruby's idolhood depicts her basically just as Ai 2.0. It relies so heavily on mining the imagery of Ai's charisma and personality as an idol and using them as the measure of Ruby's success as an idol that Ruby essentially has no visual or conceptual identity of her own as an idol. She's just Ai, But Arbitrarily Better, For Reasons The Narrative Fails To Actually Establish But Hopes That You Just Accept Anyway. This was always kind of annoying, but now that friction seems to have been resolved by… just making her Ai 2.0, But Arbitrarily Better (etc, etc) in the text as well. The fact that we're given no further insight as to Ruby's feelings and continue to just have Akane Explain Ruby's Character Arc to the camera also doesn't help.

All this combines to make the Dome concert and the final few pages feel exceptionally cold in a way I really don't think was intended by Akasaka. Yes, that splash page was nice and flashy but… I just felt nothing. I have no idea if or why Ruby cares about this. And even though the Dome concert has been hyped up through the entire story as the peak of Ruby's achievements as an idol, I feel no sense of accomplishment in her finally being there - not just because her journey to it was basically sneezed at us across two panels, but because it just feels hollow as a victory lap for Ruby. Again, she feels so distant and abstracted as a character that I can't bring myself to feel very strongly about her good or bad.

I think the perfect encapsulation of this are the final four pages of the story. Ruby's words here are very clearly intended to be a callback to Ai's words to Gorou in chapter one but as @all-of-her-light pointed out in our initial discussions of the chapter, Ruby very much does not have an equivalent to Ai's conclusion that she nevertheless wants and values the opportunity to find personal happiness and fulfillment outside of being an idol. Are we supposed to believe that simply being an idol is all that Ruby needs to achieve a similar degree of happiness and fulfillment? Is there no more to her than that?

I've seen a lot of people interpret this ending as exceptionally bleak and, as usual, gleefully predicting Ruby's immanent suicide because her beloved oniichansensei isn't around but this is indulging in, if you'll allow me to be frank, some pretty transparently ship-motivated flanderization. Despite what certain sections of the fandom would like to believe, Aqua and Ruby's lives, past and current, have never revolved around each other to the exclusion of every other relationship in their life. Ruby has a massive support network of people who love and care for her and actively want her to get back on her feet. I can one hundred percent believe that she does not need Aqua in her life to be happy and content.

The issue is that we don't see enough of Ruby to understand that ourselves. Again, she has become such a distant figure with so little insight into what she's thinking and why that this ending is basically a Rorschach test in which you can interpret basically whatever the hell you want or assume because we have so little canon basis to support or debunk our assumptions.

and yes. don't think i didn't see them. it IS both grimly hilarious and weirdly tonally appropriate for this ending that ruby has a bunch of oshi goods of ai and aqua including their fucking autographs set up to say goodbye to every day.

AND…… WE'RE DONE!!! THAT'S OSHI NO KO, BABY!!!! well, technically, there's going to be a 20 page extra chapter in volume 16 but I don't see it being big or substantive enough to meaningfully change my feelings about the ending so… I guess we're leaving it here. Damn. Feels crazy to be done with it.

I'll probably do a bigger post down the line about my thoughts on the ending as a whole but in terms of just How This Chapter Made Me feel, I guess the word is just… meh! It's definitely not an ending I like and I think the execution is sloppy and rushed but I also just don't really have the energy to feel angry about it. Maybe that's sad in its own way but tbh… I still really love Oshi no Ko! I still find it engaging and I find the characters I enjoy rewarding to talk about. I like the artistry of the anime adaptation. I don't blame anybody else for being so turned off by this ending that they're done with the series but for me, I like what I like about OnK too much that this ending could retroactively ruin it for me. Whatever else happens with the OnK franchise, whatever directions the anime and live-action take, this will always be the series that gave me Ai and the Hoshino family and. look at me. look at what she's done to my brain. could I really ask for anything more than that?

That being said, I'm definitely not done with discussing the series! I have fics to write (including a VERY exciting large scale project lined up with some friends), my Ai analysis post to finish and I also want to do a re-read of the series and finish my anime rewatch. I'll be here to discuss Oshi no Ko as long as I have things to say about it and as long as you guys will have me! Despite how the series ended, I've had a genuinely wonderful experience in the fandom and I really don't want to let go of the little community we've built together just because the series is done. I'm Ai's fan for all eternity!!!

[bisclavret]

#from a shipping lens I’ve thought that Gwaine knew Merlin wanted to be alone with Arthur & that the firewood was bullshit #and that contributes to him giving Merlin a hard time about it too #just a general resentment that he has to go out into the dark for the sake of Merlin’s feelings (again. again and again he does this!!) #and a resentment that Merlin is dancing around the thing he wants when otherwise Merlin is so honest with Gwaine bc it’s GWAINE #and that Gwaine is pushing back against it here but ultimately resigning himself to it with a smile bc well. it’s Merlin. #sorry the Merlin/Arthur/Gwaine love triangle can be deliciously angsty @lancelotofthelake

i think you're spot-on with this! every single episode that features gwaine in s3 hints that gwaine can see the devotion merlin has for arthur and seems to have opinions on the matter (the indulgent "maybe that one's worth dying for eh?" in 3x04, the knowing look he gives merlin in 3x08, and also the scene from this post). calling it a general resentment is interesting and i think you're right; this is neither the first or last time gwaine comes off resentful about having to censor and sideline himself for the sake of merlin. i definitely think this is more the case rather than straightforward romantic jealousy (he just doesn't seem the type), but it is probably a little fueled by his not-so-secret belief that arthur is simply not worth merlin's devotion.

i also agree that gwaine really doesn't seem to appreciate the air of repression that merlin (and probably camelot at large) has about him and wishes merlin could be honest about what he wants, at least in front of gwaine (about his sexuality and his magic, which are almost literally the same thing on this show, but gwaine seems to be the only character that is more overtly aware and representative of the gayer aspects of this allegory rather than the magical ones. and i love that for him). like if merlin had asked him to leave so he can be alone with arthur to a) whisper sweet nothings to him or b) heal him with magic, gwaine would likely have been surprised, yes, but ultimately relieved to be told the truth. but merlin would never admit anything of the sort in a million years, so gwaine has no choice but to ride out his annoyance in private and respect merlin's boundaries. these are the conditions under which he can stay in merlin's life/this story.

it's therefore truly a testament to how much gwaine cared for merlin and how tired he must've been of his old life that he chose to get knighted and stick around, especially since there isn't even much evidence he became more okay with the arthur/merlin relationship continuing to be so unequal and so dependent on posturing, self-deprivation, and repression. but instead of pointing this out in any way after being knighted he just continues biting his tongue and makes himself roll with absolutely everything good or bad, which used to piss me off but now i'm just fascinated by him. it's crazy how even the gayest and most freedom-loving character on the show wasn't immune to starting to repress his true self to fit into a fatally flawed system full of lovable people who are all also repressing their true selves for the exact same reason.

hi. gwaine overthinker here. i love this scene because the way eoin performed it does not sound like he's joking at all. to me. in fact he sounds like he's in a miserable mood.

mind you this is what the past few days (an optimistic estimate) have looked like for gwaine so far:

and lest we forget:

yeah.

so my interpretation of this scene is that gwaine really is being short with merlin, but it's merlin. and gwaine catches himself making him feel worse. so fuck it! ptsd and moral apprehension can wait. merlin needs firewood.

and to be fair, it's probably a relief to have someone drag you out of your doom spiral and pout at you until you run an errand for them.

in conclusion,

[explaintome]

Dear Mouthwashing fandom, explain to me, why next to the incredible fan art, I find a fuck ton of shipping content, especially between characters where this is highly problematic? SPOILERS FOR MOUTHWASHING AHEAD CN for talk about sexual abuse, death, suicide & violence

DISCLAIMER: I do not shame the general practice of shipping at all. I am a shipper myself and I think it makes up for a lot of interesting dynamics and narratives outside the canon. Shipping is an important pillar of fandom communities and I am unable to forbid you to do it. HOWEVER, in the case of Mouthwashing I want to talk about what, in my opinion, feels tone-deaf to the themes and the canon of the game. But let me start with a short summary of the game before I get into it.

Mouthwashing is basically a visual novel that takes place on the Tulpar, the last manned cargo ship of the company Pony Express. The crew, consisting of Caption Curly, Co-Captain Jimmy, Nurse Anya, Mechanic Swansea and his intern Daisuke, is confronted with a crash against an asteroid and the consequences following it. The story is told out of order to reveal the truth bit by bit. What caused the crash, what happened and how the crew deals with the time afterward being stuck on the ship. Revealing sexual abuse, tragic backstories, the horrible side effects of late state capitalism and the neglect of people in command towards the people they are responsible for.

To boil it down we have two men who, out of societal misogyny, hurt the only woman on their crew by assaulting her or not acting as they should have in their position of responsibility. All of this would not have happened if Jimmy didn't rape Anya and impregnate her, and if Curly had disciplined Jimmy in a capacity possible on the ship and in Jimmy's position as co-pilot. To be honest, with the amount of automatization the ship has, I don't think they need Jimmy if it is not a case of emergency, but I digress. Jimmy is the perpetrator of the story, but Curly is an accomplice in putting his aim of finding a solution and compromise over punishing his subordinate as he should have.

And now to my actual point: I am a big fan of the game, the narration style and the utter tragedy of 5 people losing their lives in the isolation of space, with their company not giving a shit about them. Otherwise, they might have been rescued much earlier or at all. Or had enough cryo pots in the first place. Or a nurse with experience. Or any amount of better equipment and not the most cheap shit that somehow made it through a resemblance of regulations. There are probably no regulations.

Being a fan I, of course, looked into the hashtags on several social media sites, and between the incredible art and analysis of the game, I quickly found shipping content, and I have no idea why. I have literally no idea how that narrative speaks to you in a way of shipping characters romantically/sexually. Especially three shippings really rub me the wrong way.

ANYA/JIMMY

Are you fucking kidding me? Literally, what is wrong with you shipping a victim with their abuser? There was not one interaction between them, that suggest that there was consent or affection, that Jimmy has any sympathy for Anya. He knows what is going on, he knows that Anya is pregnant and takes no responsibility. Even worse, his idea of FIXING this was to kill everyone, at least himself, to avoid responsibility! Same goes for AUs where she kept the baby and is somehow okay and happy? I get the urge to fix it, but that is not a good fix. There is no good fix if you are pregnant due to rape.

ANYA/CURLY

A lot of argument I hear for that is that "at least Curly is her friend and was nice to her" and if that is your whole foundation of argument, I want to ask what your standards for a relationship are. Please know that you deserve more than the bare minimum. Another question in that context: Is Curly really Anya's friend? His friend was abused and instead of protecting her, he tried to reason and help her abuser! That is not the behavior of a friend! There is no "but Jimmy is his friend too!". If your friend is an abuser and that does not make you stop being their friend....why?

JIMMY/CURLY

It feels like it is a law on the internet, that two men who look at least averagely handsome will be shipped, especially if they have the tiniest of connection to each other. I am not even sure if I would call them friends in the first place. It appears that Jimmy, whatever his bad life before that job was (thanks to the developers for not giving us a backstory), he is still absolutely unsatisfied with that he has. He is jealous of Curly and his position, seeing how quickly he takes on the Captain title after the crash and only realizes far too late how hard the position actually is. Curly on the other hand feels a bit like a people pleaser to me. He probably had pity for Jimmy, took him under his wing to help him? Fix him? Whatever it is, it made him ignore Jimmy's bad side to a fatal degree. I respect the toxic yaoi but are you sure?

TLDR; I am worried about how the practice of shipping developed, from a way to extend the canon, explore queerness in cis/straight dominated media, into a compulsion of where some people can't look at any form of media or constellation of characters without immediately smashing them together like dolls. If you do this, maybe step back for a minute and ask yourself if it is appropriate. On that note, same goes in case you defend Jimmy. Why?

[quarterlifekitty]

I really like your selectively mute reader stories!(something something literally me or whatever) Please keep writing for as long as it brings you joy!

Thank you!!!! I’m happy so many people like it. It’s almost as if the people who like writing and reading fanfiction are a bunch of quiet bitches…. (I’m bitches)

Here’s a little idea I’ve had for the selective mute AU.

I think in this AU that Soap and Ghost have always been interested in each other, but they’ve never tried anything— mutually convinced it wouldn’t be for the best. Making out sloppy style at the bar doesn’t count!!!!

I tend to think of Soap as rather energetic and hyperactive, and in this AU I think Ghost is neurodivergent himself, it’s part of why he gets on with reader. He just has a lot of preferences, anxieties, and boundaries that he has problems articulating. He finds himself having trouble intuiting feelings that other people see as obvious and easy to read. He likes a lot of quiet time and time alone. In the same way that he’s often thought he’s not social enough to own a parrot, he doubts his ability to really keep up with Soap instead of just being dead weight. So he doesn’t make a move.

So reader kinda acts as a conduit for them a little at the start of things. They’re both into her. It gives Ghost a way to being in sexual situation with Soap without getting overwhelmed as the sole focus of attention (being noticed is kinda antithetical to his job, and freaks him out a little at times in his civilian life). It gives Soap a way to be in sexual situations with Ghost without being worried about pushing too far— it’s easy for Ghost to take a step back if he needs to without feeling like he’s holding things back.

And you? You get to get fucked by two guys that don’t care if you can’t deliver on dirty talk. Everyone wins.

[butchvamp]

i did Lucanis's inner demons quest last night and have some thoughts [everyone groans in unison]

i admit that i definitely have a bias for Lucanis, i really like the crows (or i should say the crows from previous games & the lore around them) and my Rook is a crow so i'm inclined towards him in general.

that being said i feel i'm just. missing huge bits of information about him. he exists entirely in a void. i don't really know anything about his relationships with Illario or Caterina, the game glosses over so much of his role and what exactly he does within the crows (beyond just talking about how he was the Demon and the Magekiller) i suppose it's just too icky for the game to truly acknowledge outside of a few jokes about Lucanis poisoning the gang's food...

i know from seeing people posting excerpts from his novel that Caterina did, in fact, physically abuse him; i figured this was the case considering she's a high ranking member of the crows and thus no doubt had a role in torturing recruits, even if the game pretends like this is a thing that doesn't happen. you get a bit of banter early on where Lucanis, talking about Illario's behavior, says something along the lines of "My relationship with Caterina was complicated, too, and I was her favorite." implying some level of friction between them as well as conflicting feelings about her death.

but then that's it. we get nothing else. this should be a major piece of his story, a part of why he feels the way he does, and exploring Caterina's role in his and Illario's abuse would better expand upon Illario's resentment and make his and Lucanis's relationship more compelling beyond "Illario is a big jealous meanie."

i really wanted to like the inner demons quest more than i did, because conceptually i enjoy going into the fade/Lucanis's memories with Spite, so far Lucanis's quests have felt the most Dragon Age to me (fighting a naked woman in a giant pool of blood + seeing Spite lose control, him and Illario butting heads and having a competitive relationship before this (as the crows all should...), etc. these are fun!) but just like the rest of the game it's still holding back.

when you confront the memory of Caterina all you get are these choices:

none of these are particularly satisfying if you actually know the things Caterina has done... "Your love for him" is actually vile lol

this entire questline is a linear walk through fragments of the Ossuary & Lucanis's memories, there is nothing interesting here, Rook just plays therapist for about twenty minutes and then you make a nothing choice at the end that has no affect on anything at all... and most egregiously, we have learned literally Nothing new about Lucanis that the game hasn't already made an effort to tell us repeatedly (a real problem the game has in general, constant hand-holding and repetition).

there's Quite a bold choice to compare this quest to the Fade section in origins right at the start, with Rook and Spite joking about getting past the guards: "What did you expect, to turn into a mouse or something?" like yes, actually, i did expect something a bit more! even if you want to say the warden does the exact same thing with their companions in that quest, their dialogue is FAR better-- again, Rook's is all clinical therapy-speak (where did she even learn this shit? did the crows pay for her to get a degree in psych and become a licensed counselor?) and in origins, we do actually learn something new about each companion as well as getting to see them interact with their fantasies and/or nightmares. we get nothing here...

we could have seen him and Illario training together, being competitive, the early seeds of resentment being planted between them by Caterina's goading and abuse. we could have seen the guilt Lucanis feels about this, about Caterina's favoritism and how it's affected his relationship with Illario. we could have actually seen what happened to him when he was captured and in the Ossuary, we could have seen some of the horrible things he's had done to him and that he himself has done to become the Demon of Vyrantium, we could have learned more about why the demon inside of him became spite specifically-- because if what Zara's echo said is true, it started as an Envy demon-- so it was influenced by Lucanis in some way. what makes him spiteful? why is it spite that keeps him alive in the Ossuary...? is it spite as in defiance-- defiance of the Venatori, of Caterina's expectations and abuse, in defiance of Illario's betrayal...? unfortunately, Lucanis never really feels spiteful at all. determined to survive the Ossuary, but afterwards, never has he come across as spiteful (Spite is mostly just petty and a bit bitchy).

in my opinion the Envy demon fails because Lucanis was never envious of Illario or the First Talon position, only crushed by the loss of their relationship and guilty over Caterina's favoritism. obviously Caterina's expectations weigh heavily on him, but he knows he's the favorite, and he doesn't envy Illario for not being so-- he seems very aware of the fact that it doesn't equate to Illario having it "easier." but the game barely addresses this, only in weak voice-overs, while the majority of the quest is spent convincing Lucanis that he's not actually a demon. Lucanis is wholly a good guy that only kills blood mages and loves his poor grandma and his inner demon is entirely Literal and just him feeling bad about being an abomination :(

nevermind all that yucky complicated stuff. Illario is Bad and Jealous and deserves to be punished for... doing exactly what crows have always done.

of course it's easy to make Illario look bad when all of the other crows are treated like a found family, when we know that's not the case at all. crows have been competing and scheming and killing each other since origins. this isn't meant to make light of Illario's betrayal (in fact i still think it's quite significant given their history and the two of them being the last of their family) but instead Illario is very obviously suspicious from the start, the reveal of his betrayal was not surprising, it's predictable because, again, he is presented very differently from all the other crows we've seen in this game-- he's the Bad one, and Lucanis is the Good one. no nuance!

in his short story, The Wake, Illario is actually depicted as being extremely remorseful, getting very drunk and reminiscing on old childhood memories of Lucanis while Viago has to carry him home... of course there's no way of knowing the exact intent behind this story or what changed since (published in 2020 and written by Mary Kirby, after all) but either way, we don't get anything like that here. somewhere along the way we lost the depth and complexity of both characters; we don't get to confront this big ugly thing between them because the game refuses to engage with anything ugly at all.

[primrose19]

I haven't been quiet about my dislike (hatred, even) of the last two episodes of the show but I'll say it again

(I cannot speak for everyone, obviously, so these are just my personal feelings on the matter)

People tend to confuse "happy" with "satisfying" endings. Let's look at Lilia's episode. She died. Literally. Technically, that is a "sad" ending. But it wasn't, actually, because I did not feel sad. Quite the opposite, actually, I ADORED how her arc was concluded. I had happy tears. Her end truly felt like a beginning. My point is, I was expecting the same emotional impact from Agatha's end because there was no way this show would end any other way. Agatha was always going to die. But execution fucking matters. Hell, the hug in e4 had more emotional impact than the kiss. Do you know why? Because in the, supposedly, Agatha centered show, we got BARELY NOTHING regarding Agatha's backstory and we got EVEN LESS about Rio and Agatha's relationship. And I'm not even speaking from a shipper perspective. But Agatha's story has been so interwoven with Death, it feels like something fucking crucial to show. I don't disagree that there's a certain allure in leaving things unsaid and implied but when you want to have that sort of ending, it needs to have the emotional impact to back it up. The ending needs to fit the rest of the show (example: HTTYD 3, but we are not going to unravel that disaster here since it's neither the time nor the place for it).

And don't even get me started on the comic book lovers. "It's ending was comic book accurate so I'm happy!" Well, I'm not a comic book reader. This ending meant absolutely nothing to me the way it was shown. Which brings me back to my first point; execution fucking matters.

As for your "this is not the end of them" comment, I don't necessarily disagree. Originally, another thing that made me hate the ending was the fact that we got no resolution between the two. At least, no explicitly shown resolution. Now, I think maybe they left it open-ended on purpose, to maybe (hopefully) touch upon that in future projects. However, it truly does feel like the time for the backstory is over. I can't fully explain this feeling but the closest example I could give is spinoffs; you know how you get certain main characters and then this work gets a spinoff with a new set of protagonists but the old ones still make some appearances here and there? You get to know what they're up to in present time but you no longer get a full view of them. That's what this feels like.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted talk

Honestly, I don't understand the people who are bitter about the way Agatha All Along ended. I thought it was freaking amazing.

Agatha and Rio got to be angry and in love and epically drawn to each other. And petty as all hell.

We got a kiss (and Rio's face those seconds before Agatha kissed her and she felt it coming). We got to see the wounds Agatha left in Death. We got to see a moment where Agatha essentially forgave Death (even if she wouldn't acknowledge it to Rio). We watched Rio cover her grave in the color that meant most to Agatha. We watched how Rio gave Agatha the time to love her son (because even if the older Agatha refused to see it - because it hurt too much - she would clearly have taken that gift a second time if she found herself back in that moment).

And it wasn't even the end of them, because if you don't think Rio is going to keep pursuing Agatha's soul now that she's floating around as a ghost instead of coming home to her, you're wrong (you're just... wrong).

It might not have been a "happy ending" but it was freaking glorious.

[moss-and-mirth]

Feral

I've heard the term "going feral" tossed around a lot to describe lee moods. You'll never catch me denying the accuracy. However, let me tell you a lil story about the hottest instances of feral that I, as a lee leaning switch, have been blessed to experience. tw: for a little bit of CNC technically (cos this was NOT preplanned) So I had a friend who was a Ler, and an incredibly mean Ler at that. One day, they decided they wanted to try switching. Just to see. They were actually nervous about it, but had been curious for years. Absolutely fine. Adorable even. So I put them in the cuffs, and treated them like I would anyone who was just trying it for the first time. Went nice and slow, exploring, making them jump. giggle. blush. jump again. gasp. Figuring out pretty quickly what the worst spots are. About 10 minutes of this sensual light tickling and they were bouncing between laughing and apologizing for everything they'd ever done to me. It was delightful teasing them, reminding them of all the really meeeaaan things they did to me over the years. "Remember when you straddled me and tortured me non stop on my armpits til I cried? Wouldn't be just so fair to do that to you now?" then I climbed up top and just waited. The begging started. And I just kept tickling slowly, softly, teasing. literally driving them mad with anticipation, thinking at any moment I was going to attack them. Barely touching them. It went on like this for so long. Til they were just a flushed, breathless giggling mess, begging me to stop fucking with them, promising me the world. So I teased, and I teased, and I teased. I would linger in one spot and remind them of every way they tickled me there. Asked them how much mercy they showed me. Watched them get so visibly turned on until they were begging me for something completely different. I told them the same thing they would tell me. "no." The next thing you know, the cuffs snapped off the straps. Half a second to be flipped over onto the bed and pinned. "Enough." First time I'd heard an actual human growl. Suddenly the smut I read in books made a lot of sense.

Feral. We actually fought a bit, but they were always able to over power me anyways, and the speed at which they got the cuffs on me and back into the straps could be studied by science. That was the worst wrecking I ever got, and one of the best sessions I ever had.

[originalleftist]

Re-blogging to reply because this cowardly dipshit turned off comments.

You can find extensive evidence with less than 5 minutes' Googling. Just for a start, here's an article from Reuters (the link won't embed, but it works if you enter it in a search bar):

https://www.reuters.com/world/israels-pm-aware-very-violent-incident-against-israelis-amsterdam-his-office-2024-11-08/

Don't worry, it includes footage, since you've taken it upon yourself to declare that that is the only valid form of evidence.

It also confirms that:

-62 people were detained.

-10 remain in custody (so much for your "one random angry guy", who you imply doesn't exist but also try to paint as justified in hunting Jews "Israeli thugs" if he did).

-It describes "what the mayor called "antisemitic hit-and-run squads"'

-"Mayor Femke Halsema said Maccabii Tel Aviv fans had been "attacked, abused and pelted with fireworks around the city, and that riot police intervened to protect them and escort them to hotels. At least five people were treated in hospital."

-It notes the context of increased antisemitic incidents in the Netherlands since last October, including threats against "many Jewish organisations and schools".

-It also notes reports of "Maccabi Tel Aviv supporters chanting anti-Arab slogans before Thursday evening's match." Nobody denies this. There is no Conspiracy To Hide The Truth.

It is, however, a pretty big leap from that to your "entire population of Amsterdam telling the same story consistently about Israeli terrorists causing mayhem for days", a ridiculously hyperbolic claim that I have seen literally nowhere else, and for which you naturally feel obliged to provide ZERO evidence, even while demanding extensive footage to prove an orchestrated attack on Jews. Never mind the eyewitness testimony to that (but they're Lying Jews, so they don't count, right?)

More fundamentally, however, where we disagree is that any bigotry or violence by certain individual Israelis would justify a pogrom hunting down Israelis/Jews.

But that's what it always comes down to. Violence against Jews is downplayed, and attributed (if acknowledged at all) to lone individuals, while anything bad - real or imagined - that an Israeli or Jew does is used as justification for any and all retaliation, up to and including mass r*pe and total extermination (this is basically the entire pro-Hamas argument in a nutshell).

Here's some more footage, since we've already established that that's The Only Legitimate Form Of Evidence:

You might like this source, it engages in a bit of "both sides" attempt to justify the mob, but I link it because it includes extensive video.

-Groups of people wearing Palestinian flags.

-A seemingly unconscious man on the ground being kicked.

-A man forced under threat of violence to stay "free Palestine".

-Another person forced to do so while swimming in a river.

-A man pleading "I'm not Jewish" and still being beaten.

-An eyewitness describing how people "were ready in exactly the places, strategic places, with bat, with knife."

That last one is not something that happens spontaneously- it has to be planned. So is showing up to a riot wearing Palestinian flags, for that matter (I find nothing inherently offensive in a Palestinian flag, but bringing one to a riot requires premeditation, and it also underscores the larger political motivations, that this was not just over some football hooliganism).

I know none of this will convince you, because bigotry is by definition not based on facts and reason. I know that you are not engaging in good faith, since you started out by preemptively dismissing any evidence outside of a very narrow standard, including all eyewitness testimony by the actual victims. I know that you will probably dismiss any evidence provided as Jewish Media "Zionist propaganda". Hell, it's quite possible that you're a paid troll, and know full-well that you're lying through your teeth. Like Holocaust deniers, you likely are denying it not because you really believe it didn't happen, but because you know it did, you support it, and you want it to happen more.

I'm just putting the facts out there for the benefit of anyone who stumbles on this post.

PS: reported for violating Tumblr's policies re hate speech and advocating terrorism.

Don't worry guys! We overreacted! They were just looking for any of the football hooligans who stayed and not because they want to harm jews! (Sarcasm)

[olderthannetfic]

Ok, LONG story and a rant. ESL

I have a "friend" who recently got on the topic of disabled children, including severely disabled, mentally and physically children, and how people having an abortion just because of it are bad people. She's not pro-life, but her opinion is if you want a child you need to "accept what you get." She has even spoken about how she'd never even consider an abortion if she had a disabled child, and that she'd be a great mom. Blah blah blah.

Starting off, we went to school in the same class until high school. Her entire life she was terrified of people with disabilities, especially developmental. One time in 8-9th grade she started scream crying because our teacher's son with down syndrome had to join class for 2 hours because of the teacher's schedule. In 3rd grade she thought needing glasses was infectious and always ran away from the two kids in class with glasses.She's had some of the weirdest reactions to people with autism, ADHD, and similar diagnosis.

Yet she's here proclaiming how good of a mother she'd be to a disabled child, as a key argument why people screening for disabilities are bad.

Here's my position, as someone who started studying in a field focusing on working with disabled people in all stages of ability and disability, her sentiment is incredibly stupid to me. If you know the fetus will become an incredibly disabled child, it's not a kindness to have it, you're not mother Mary for giving birth to a child that'll never be able to live independently in this world. I've experienced some of the most unpleasant sides of this, and I don't mean helping clean people after the toilet, or showering. I've been inappropriately groped, touched, and kissed by more people than I can count. Some of them understand it's wrong when I tell them a firm no, some get huffy and angry, some get violent. That's just the surface problems I've dealth with. It's difficult, and painful, and to me it's just a job I can step away from at the end of the day, especially since I'll be able to find work in other medical fields when I've completed my studies.

Yes these are people who deserve all the kindness in the world. But I won't lie, the quality of life for someone who's only way of communicating is crying and hitting people is not a kind life. They don't get to live lives where they can just go on vacation, and see new places on their own. They can't start a normal job. They can't start a family. Half the people I work with haven't seen their relatives in years, or are only visited for an hour or two every week. They see people having relationships and having relations in movies, and with their caretakers of family, but they can never have that. Most of the ones who've tried to touch me, or claimed I'm their wife, or girlfriend did it because that's what they see but don't understand what it actually means. I've dealt with disabled people who were victims of extreme abuse not just from family and strangers, but also people in my work field, who're traumatized but don't have the ability to work through properly because it's already difficult for them to just getting through their days. They have their happy moments, but most of all of this happens in an incredibly small social circle, with strict routines, where only other disabled people exist, and they don't even get the chance to be part of "normal" society. We workers are literally trained to "deal" with these people, sure we're also there for socializing, but most of us are also literally just a resource, we're not a friend, or a family member, we're workers.

Some of the places I've been at are more like a 24/7 kindergarten, with a huge lack of funding and manpower. You won't believe how many times we've struggles trying to help people during extreme and violent meltdowns, all because we're understaffed. The job also lacks male workers, which means it's harder to help with any male patients who voice feeling uncomfortable being helped by women. Do you know how incredibly painful it is to see the shame on someone's face who's more abled to voice this discomfort, but still not able to care for himself and needs help with, to us, basic things such as putting on clothes, or taking showers?

People like this "friend" annoy me, because they idealize the idea of having a heavily developmentally disabled child. They see people with more "mild" cases, or self-sufficient disabled people, but ignore everyone living in cramped disabled "communes" or under poverty and high levels of abuse.

--

Children, animals, causes: a lot of people romanticize the idea of taking on more than you can handle. It's not romantic. It's just irresponsible.

[cookie-nom-nom]

I wasn’t going to say anything but the take was dismal so:

“””the she ra reboot is oversexualized, it’s wrong to sexualize and homoeroticize teenagers. They should have been adults in the show”””

-the reboot is oversexualizing teenagers

Hilarious given the right wing melt down over it too being woke and ugly for *checks notes* giving She Ra shorts to wear, having muscles, and not massive boobs. Did we seriously forget the entire controversy about them not being sexy enough. Y’all. They were seething and whining.

We can have a conversation about sexualizing teenagers! That is a problem that exists, and there’s a tricky nuance to enforcing beauty standards on teens, fetishizing youth in a predatory way, and acknowledging that teens may want to explore their own sexuality and its healthy to do so. Just, I’m not convinced sexualization is happening in SPOP but sure, later outfit designs do start to show more skin. When they’re literally growing up because hey, the show covers a few years and the main cast is in the 20-21 range by the end. And even then like

If that’s the epitome of sexualization you might be a puritan.

-It is wrong to homoeroticize teenagers

Loud incorrect buzzer sound! Rumor has it teenagers can and will be gay! If your problem is with shipping fictional teenagers, say that. I can’t imagine anyone who has ever been in a fandom will agree, but at least it wouldn’t be homophobic.

-The show should have been about adults.

It’s. It’s literally about child soldiers. That’s literally what the show is about. Would it be the same if Catra was an adult? No, because her story is about an abused and traumatized teenager desperate to have enough power she can’t be hurt anymore. She is young and inexperienced and rebelling and making horrible, selfish choices and it’s so deeply tied into her age because she’s just now growing up enough to be strong and clever enough to flip the tables. Would it be the same if Adora was an adult? No, because her story is about the horror of a teenager being turned into an idol, into a weapon of war. We literally watch how that shapes her as she steps into adulthood. Would it be the same if Glimmer was an adult? No, because her arc is going from a rebellious teenager demanding to be taken seriously and have more control, to her struggling when she gets shoved into adulthood and queenhood far too young as she looses her only present parent.

No, the story about teen soldiers crumpling under the war they’ve grown up in would not be better if it was about adults, because it would HAVE to be a different story with different themes. If you want to say they shouldn’t have been hot while doing so, fine whatever, but eviscerating the core premise in order to ‘fix’ it is a disservice to the story.

[summersong2262]

Yeah, she's a genius. A once in a generation talent.

But he, or anyone else, has zero reason to think that she can unscramble the eggs and un-eat her Cav. We're talking about bringing back the dead entire, here. That's not just ambitious, it's literally divine by the standards of the culture.

As for the other stuff, I doubt Magnus knew about any of that, except maybe the slightly sketchy soul signature thing. As far as he's concerned, he's simply got a very very talented and traumatized girl doing insane experimental things with necromancy because she can't cope with the death of someone close to her. Magnus isn't telling her to tear her out of her breast and forget her. He's telling her to be human. To accept, to reconcile. To grieve, and then to actually live her life rather than perpetually flensing herself with her own misery as some sort of attempt at atonement for her own perceived sins.

Extradiagetically, this is not a series where The Power of Love works to create happy endings. It just isn't. It's not about being clever, it's about being powerful, and sincere, and speaking to the soul of the reader. Stories don't have to end happily and with a firm moral and rewards for the virtuous and retribution for the wicked, and wise and perceptive and foresighted behaviour by all the characters.

Muir is telling a story she never seemed to really intended to be marketable. And part of that is not submitting to the usual narrative mediocrities. It's going to be beautiful ending, the same way that the start and the middle of it were beautiful fractal jewels of stories.

It's just probably not going to be a happy one. At least in the standard sense.

"Somewhere out there exists a home not paid for with blood; it won’t be for us, but it will be for those who have been spared. Babies always get born. Houses always get built. And flowers will die on necromancy’s grave."

I'm still hung up on Magnus, earnestly telling an 18-year-old that she needs to give up her one friend and love because sometimes you strike out.

WHILE HE'S WITH HIS WIFE THAT HE GOT TO MARRY AND BE WITH FOR QUITE A FEW YEARS!!!

B. R. U. H. Incapable of reading the room... er, bubble in the river.

[fandomofhappiness]

While preparing new Shinsou content, I started thinking about some common thing within Shinsou’s fanfiction.

I've read a fair amount of Hitoshi fanfics, especially the ones where he ends up with Aizawa or both Aizawa and Mic in some way, either as a ward or an adopted child.

There were at least three tropes for these stories to go down:

1. The parents died (and since grandparents apparently don't exist in MHA, there certainly aren't any).

2. The story doesn't tell us the parents' story (which is mehhh, but it might not matter for the plot).

3. The parents were a bunch of complete assholes who abandoned their child or went unimaginable violence, and it all revolved around his Quirk.

And I can't help but think, why did the third option gain popularity?

Let's first remember how Quirks are inherited.

Children either inherit one parent's quirk, or a new quirk that is a fusion of their parents' quirks. It's very rare, like Eri's, for a quirk to occur that isn't linked to either parent - it's a mutation, and again, it's super rare.

So, knowing this, I wonder why the hell the parents in these stories take negative positions? Because one of them either has the same Quirk as Hitoshi, or a slightly modified one.

I rule out the possibility of a mutation - it would have been emphasized in the manga plot, or indicated somewhere, but there is no mention of it at all.

Then there is the moral dilemma: how could people who were potentially expecting a child abandon them because of a Quirk. I'm not talking now about other reasons. I'm specifically saying that the abandonment or rejection or violence was caused by the Quirk. I would understand if one of the parents left (again, it's weird - they chose a partner with such a creepy Quirk).

People just overdo it in trying to describe everything too dramatically. Horikoshi didn't write anything about Hitoshi's family and for us this is a great chance to create literally anything: dead parents, loving parents, single parent, grandparents, even Erasermic Family. I just want to say that this third factor always pissed me off, and there were rare works where at least Hitoshi's mother was ok. Don't get me wrong, I adore the stories of the Erasermic family, but I would like to see other interpretations of Hitoshi's orphanhood if it’s in the storyline.

[creative-frequency]

Lucanis Dellamorte x Reader: Late Nights & Delayed Confessions, pt.2

Summary: Late night of hanging out with the two Dellamortes. Lucanis is concerned for your wellbeing. Part 2 of 5. Word count: 1339 Notes: (Unresolved) romantic tension, pining, you’re an Antivan Crow, no spoilers for Veilguard → Part 1 → My writing masterlist

After instructing the tavern keeper to send up ‘whatever is the most expensive food and drink around here’, you excused yourself to freshen up. The room you had been given was at the other end of the long hallway from Lucanis and Illario’s, even though you were absolutely certain most of the rooms were unoccupied on the floor.

You ate, drank and talked for hours. A feeling that you could only describe as home warmed your chest. The little jabs Lucanis and Illario threw at each other, the silly flirtatious remarks from the latter, and the adventurous stories of grandeur, whose only point was trying to top the previous one. Just like always on the nights back in Treviso.

Things had always been like this between you and Illario; you were good friends who tossed flirty jokes around and shared gossip over a bottle of wine. He was… simple. Safe. On the same wavelength. Nothing romantic had ever happened between you nor were you interested in him as such.

Lucanis was like a brother to Illario, so you had formed this tenuous friendship, that was more about having a loved one in common rather than nurturing an actual relationship.

Lucanis was complicated; intelligent, efficient and business-oriented but also loyal to a fault, kind and considerate. He was an expert assassin, but his heart was in the right place. Not to mention you oftentimes had difficulties taking your eyes off him or stopping undressing him in your reveries. Lucanis was an enigma that made you itch and you yearned to scratch that itch. There was just no way it could ever happen and you had accepted it a long time ago. He was the grandson of the First Talon and you were just… you.

But there was also another reason.

You were terrified that one day Illario would realise you had been in love with Lucanis Dellamorte ever since the day you met.

While you ate, Lucanis and Illario told you about the Wigmaker contract in Vyrantium. It had earned Lucanis the moniker ‘Demon of Vyrantium’ and the rumours were already spreading like wildfire. Caterina was surely pleased.

Illario wanted to know more about your recent contracts, as much as you would be able to share. Lucanis tried to reel in his cousin’s eager insisting, ever the picture of a considerate gentleman.

“Fiore, I’m so happy to see you, but I thought you would surely be busy on a contract,” Illario tried again to inquire as to why you really had come to this small harbor town to meet them.

Maybe three glasses of wine was enough. You glanced at Lucanis, instantly regretted it, hoping Illario wouldn’t have noticed, and started talking:

“I am. Busy on a contract.”

“In here?” Lucanis asked, quirking a brow. The tone said all there was to know about the town and the probability of someone hiring an assassin on a target in such a place. There was literally nothing but the fish market, and a small harbor that served as a logistical centre for other towns further inland that couldn’t afford the taxes and expenses issued by larger harbours. Lots of people passed through, hence the fairly nice accommodations, but usually the kind of contracts you were dealing with would never turn their snooty noses towards a place like this.

“Not here. But–”

“The contract knows you’re onto them,” Lucanis ended the lie before you had the opportunity to speak it out loud.

You shrugged in admittance of defeat. It was just like him to follow your line of thought so fast, then just unravel the whole delicately woven web in a single pull.

“Ah, a false sense of security. I like this!” Illario clapped his hands together and patted Lucanis on the back – possibly as a way of congratulating his cousin’s quick wit.

“Also,” you started and cleared your throat, “There was a small incident yesterday, after I arrived in town.”

Lucanis and Illario exchanged looks.

“Who tried to murder you?” Illario asked in jest, but his smile soon dried up.

Lucanis placed his wine cup on the table and straightened up. He looked annoyed and his gaze started instantly scanning the exits in the room.

“I’m not sure,” you replied slowly. A pang of guilt tried to make a rise. “I took him down, but there was nothing on him to indicate if it was an order or a paid attempt. So who knows.”

“We should leave,” Lucanis said, still rigid and looking really unhappy.

“Come now, Lucanis. She said she took care of the amateur,” Illario argued and motioned towards the almost empty wine bottle. “Besides, we can’t leave a bottle unfinished. The Crows’ reputation will be ruined.”

“I’m sure he was working alone. I will be perfectly safe in my room,” you said and tapped the dagger hidden against your side. 

“Which one is your room?” Lucanis asked, just slightly relaxed.

“At the other end of the hallway.” You nodded to the general direction, already sensing where this was heading and it filled you with ominous tingling.

“Speaking of which, I should head to bed.” You started to rise up from the table and avoided both pairs of sharp eyes.

“Are you going to let her sleep alone in a place like this?” Illario teased, looking pointedly at his cousin.

“I can–” you huffed, but Lucanis shot you an intense look. His eyes were so dark and unamused that it shut you up at once.

“He is right,” Lucanis said. “We might not be able to hear you across the whole building if something happens.”

You swatted the words away. Whatever he was implying was not enough to bring you around.

“It’s fine. Seriously. I don’t think the Merchant Princes would waste any more gold on trying off little ol’ me.”

Illario nodded slowly but Lucanis didn’t look convinced.

“You’re a target. We don’t know who is after you, but if it were me, I would strike tonight.” Lucanis pinched the bridge of his nose and continued explaining carefully: “There are no witnesses. The building is only two stories high. No one will look twice at a murder in a place like this.”

You bit your lip. Lucanis was making a good case and perhaps only because you had been thinking about the same points yourself. If the assailant had not been working alone, it was most likely that they would try again before you had the chance to skip town. Maybe they knew you were with two other Crows, maybe they didn’t, but did you really want to risk it to keep your silly pride?

“I’ll accompany you for the night, just to be safe,” Illario said and for once you couldn’t detect a hint of ulterior motives in his tone. Though, the lack of confidence in your abilities stung.

Lucanis stood up and locked eyes with you. A chill rushed through you. He was determined. And maybe a little pissed.

“I’ll go. You didn’t sleep on the ship so you must be exhausted,” he said offhandedly to Illario.

“Always so considerate,” Illario replied with a blatant smirk that Lucanis missed. He too got up and stretched his arms.

You sighed in defeat and popped one of the few remaining grapes into your mouth. You should’ve never brought up the stupid contract. The Merchant Prince would pay extra for arranging this spectacular shit show.

“I will take care of her. Now rest,” Lucanis turned to say to Illario, who he found still smirking.

“Oh, I have no doubt you will.”

Lucanis replied to his cousin with a flat stare. Heat rose to your cheeks and Illario winked at you.

Great. So it was not about being confident in your abilities. He was just trying to push you into making a move on his cousin. You didn’t want to think about what that implied.

“Well, fine then. Shall we?” you asked Lucanis.

He motioned you forward. “Lead the way.”

There was just one problem: your room had only one bed.

-

→ Part 3

[romchat]

Fangs of Fortune (Ep. 25): Quick thoughts on the visuals

Pretty sure that last scene of Fangs of Fortune's Episode 25 made me feral and has not given me a moment of peace since I saw it (where's the fanfic, y'all???), but it did highlight for me something distinct about Director Guo Jingming's visual storytelling that isn't often discussed: his actor blocking.

Like in My Journey to You, Guo often uses how the actors are positioned in relation to the set and one another to reveal something about their characters, and he then shifts them like pieces on a chess board to signify changes in their mental state and/or relationships. This directing choice really gives his scenes a sense of movement and tension because the characters literally end up in different positions than where they started. We see the change on screen as much as we hear it in the script.

At the beginning of the scene, we see Li Lun looming over Zhou Yichen, reveling in the latter's apparent defeat over being harassed for being a demon.

Even though Li Lun eventually kneels down, it is menacing and just as much a power move as when he was standing up.

But we instantly feel the switch in the flow of power within the conversation when the distance between the two actors gets smaller. It's like Li Lun is both compelled and repulsed by Yichen's defense of humans and his criticism of Li Lun's indiscriminate violence towards them.

So we know that Li Lun has lost control of the situation when he stands up again and leg kabedons Yichen, pinning him roughly against the wall. Unlike earlier in the conversation, he now has to resort to brute strength to repress Yichen, and we see that realization on Li Lun's anguished face.

SIDE NOTE: That little grunt and exhale of air from Yichen at that move? Sorry, my mind wandered. Moving on...

Up until this point, Yichen has been relatively calm, but when Li Lun goes too far by calling him a coward like Zhu Yan (big mistake to insult his man!), Yichen demonstrates his power and blasts him away from into the water.

Not only is Yichen now looming over Li Lun, they're literally not on the same level, the latter isolated and cast in darkness. His resentment and crimes have sunk him to such a level that Yichen can only see him as pitiful.

Li Lun's switch to Bai Jiu's form in the background as Yichen walks away reinforces this. As a child actor, Lester Lin is significantly smaller than Yan An, so the use of his body makes Li Lun look even weaker.

SIDE NOTE: What a devastating use of rack focus from Li Lun to Yichen, showing how his manipulation won't work on Yichen no matter how painful it must feel to see Xiao Jiu. The shallow depth of field weakens Li Lun's image (and therefore power) even further.

Finally, I love how this scene ends with Yichen walking past Li Lun who remains immobile in the water but eventually drags himself in the other direction. It's the perfect bookend to the start of the scene. Yichen moves beyond that barrier (Li Lun's body), looking forward into the future despite the challenges he will face, while Li Lun's stays behind, most likely choosing an even more self-destructive end to his tragic story.

God, I love this director even when his writing drives me up a wall.

[m00ntunaart]

LORE DUMP:

In this AU Tech is taken by Hemlock after plan 99 and goes through much experimentation and “programming” to be made into a CX trooper. But in this AU Tech isn’t the only one this happens to. The other four CX troopers are Cody, Fives, Tup and Kix. How is Fives, Tup and Tech still alive? In this version of the story the Zillobeast is being kept because it has hyper-regenerative properties (Wolverine-esc) and Hemlock has been experimenting for a while on how to take the genes from the Zillobeast and put them in dead clones to ‘bring them back’ basically. So Fives, Tup and Tech still die in this AU, they just get literally Frankensteined back to life. I really wanted to play with Hemlock’s ‘mad scientist’ aspect in this. Like, let’s exaggerate the man a lil, for fun.

So the CX troopers are being experimented on medically, being cyberneticlly enhanced, getting programmed and mind wiped. It’s messed up. I won’t get into now but I just really want the CX troopers to be this kinda horrific product of Hemlocks LITERAL human tinkering. Also just horror of (in Fives, Tup and Tech’s case) the fact that they weren’t even safe from Hemlock in death. I also think in this AU the CX troopers maybe die a few times earlier in season 3, but Hemlock just retrieves their bodies and revives them again. Like fixing a broken toy. 

I crave more Hemlock horror lol

But anyways, basically this comic is basically the kick off point of my CX-2/Tech AU. Mostly everything up until the Teth Base raid is the same to canon (from The Batch’s perspective at least). But in this comic we see CX-2 (Tech) get sent to terminate CX-1 (Cody) and retrieve Omega (I just don’t mention it in this comic for succinctness sake). I switched up some events here. CX-2 doesn’t blow up the base, instead Wolffe is sent to destroy the base and doesn’t know about the mission to get Omega, just knows they’re trying to wipe out rebels and a CX-1. So CX-2/Tech shows up to complete this mission. But sees CX-1’s face for the first time and gets some flashes of memories of Cody (I’m headcanoning that Cody knew The Batch when they were cadets so Tech specifically has some deeper rooted memories of Cody). It definitely freaks Tech out and he ends up not being able to terminate Cody, instead he disobeys orders and ends up dragging Cody back out to be taken back to Hemlock.

Oh! Also since Cody is CX-1 and gets captured by Rex and crew, you know the angst on Rex’s side is OFF THE CHARTS. The whole interaction scene with CX-1 is way more wild in this AU because Rex KNOWS Cody, Cody is HIS big brother. Rex just basically is WAY MORE invested in this AU because it’s no longer just ‘A Brother’, it’s ‘HIS Brother’.

From here the AU spirals, I won’t get into details but basically the CX-2/Tech AU is just Tech having more and more memories return, and he started to, behind the scenes, move ‘the chess pieces’ to try to tear down Hemlock. He starts talking to and changing Emerie’s mind and they start to work together. He starts to sneak to talk to Wolffe to get him to change is mind and get in contact with Rex (in this AU I kinda share Scorch’s role between him and Wolffe bcs I want Wolffe to be more involved in this, and also Scorch does nothing in the show anyways lol). Then he starts trying to slowly jog the memories of the other CX troopers and slowly erode their programming and mind wipes. But everything’s not so simple because they are all getting regular mind wipes from Hemlock, so Tech’s progress with the others is often erased. And along with that, the mind wipes still affect Tech. He still relapses back to ‘CX-2 mode’. So there are good chunks of time where Tech will not be ‘pretending to be CX-2’ and actually be CX-2. Though because of his defective nature/quick mind he’s able to remember things on his own more and more after the mind wipes, and he gets quicker and better at it as time goes on. Though it is affect him really badly. The constant whiplash of having his memories wiped then literally forcing his brain to drag his own consciousness back is definitely having negative physical and mental effects. But basically he starts to, with the help of Emerie and Wolffe (and sometimes the other CX troopers), prepare to escape and have the base ready for when Rex and crew show up. 

But yeah I have so many fun idea for this AU. I just thought the Tech/CX-2 theory was so fun and wanted to do my own take. I also just think Tech’s character as ‘the smart one’ would lend well to this set up of him trying to quietly maneuver everyone around him to make the best scenario for either Rex and crew save them, or to stage their own revolt.  I also just want Emerie and Wolffe to play more a part? I felt like both did not get the screen time or relevance they deserved, so they are part of Tech’s slow, secret revolt lol. Plus we deserved to see Wolffe leave the Empire and join Rex. Also Cody, Kix, Fives and Tup are very there and present in the story, I just didn’t talk about them a ton bcs Tech finds out pretty quickly that any help or progress he gets from them is short lived thanks to the mind wipes (they can’t as easily jump back from them like Tech), and in general they are more a mess than Tech during this time. Even when they do remember things their mind can’t process as fast as Tech’s enhanced brain can so they kinda just are mentally out of it or fucked up (which to be fair they deserve to be, and Tech would probably be the same but this entire AU is Tech being is Hustle Mode^TM)

CX-2/Tech AU comic! Where CX-2 is Tech, but Tch isn't the only recognizable CX trooper!

*Cody enters stage*

I don't know what it is about Starwars comics but omg this looks like shit, but I'm blaming that on finals fatigue.

Anyways, I will do a separate post and reblog of this post with the lore of this AU! So look for that if you want to read more on this AU!

And if you don't care, then thanks for checking out my comic and I hope you have a great day!