#literally not the same story that it started as

[shizukateal]

Also he immediately says after that he "still finds comfort in the words". Like. That's also part of the point of the movie. Sammie starts praying to the christian god and it DOESN'T FUCKING SAVE HIM, the devil he's fighting against can speak those same words too!!!!! The devil he's fighting is literally waterboarding him as if he was baptizing him, the subtext could not be more clear!!! And then after all is done he goes back and he enters his father's church and his father also demands that he reject his art -which is so powerful in its ties to his culture that it invokes spirits from the past AND future- in favor of christianity and what happens???? HE LEAVES. I'm not going shed tears for Remmick's sob story when we see Sammie suffering so much under christianity and the strength it takes for him to leave it behind and carve his own path.

it really frustrates me to think about how people are inevitably going to take Remmick’s one (1) singular statement about how much he resents the way the Irish were colonized and forcibly converted to Christianity and use it as fuel for “actually he had a point” and “he was right actually” and “he’s not really the villain here” posts, when the whole point is that Remmick is, through the vampiric hive mind he’s creating, forcibly assimilating people into yet another manipulative and parasitical system. he doesn't value the cultures of the people he assimilates—notice how all the vampires he turns dance to his culture's music using his culture's dances, and how he only uses the languages or knowledge other vampires have to offer when he needs to manipulate someone. Remmick is extremely transparent about the way he sees the people he turns as resources to exploit.

he’s perpetuating a cycle that he claims to hate and resent, and I think the movie is pretty damn clear about the fact that he doesn’t see anybody as valuable or useful to him except as prey and as pawns—otherwise he would just, you know, focus solely on people who actually consent to being turned. but he looked sad in that one scene and he’s an apparently attractive white cis man so people are gonna bend over backwards justifying all the harm he did.

[the-real-timeloop-tourney]

Best Character Stuck in a Timeloop

Propaganda for Chonny:

- From a musical album (Doubt any other characters will be from an album) - Said Album is really good. everyone should go listen to it - This one's a bit hard to characterized bc it's sort of three characters and sort of one. Just listen to the album and it still won't make sense but at least you'll have listened to one of my favorite albums - The album has a really compelling story about the division and unification of Heart, Soul, and Mind and idk if I've said this enough but it's a really good album ------------------------------------ -whole is going through a loop of events... Very often... Including the heart, mind and soul going through those with him.

-album... Very cool.

-yeah I can't make proper propaganda for him either

Propaganda for Homura:

you are 14 years old. after your first friends at your new school revealed they are Real Life Magical Girls, they die horribly against this super powerful monster witch. you make a wish to meet your best friend again so you can save her this time. every time you try to reach a golden ending where everyone lives goes horribly wrong so you resign yourself to letting your best friend's (and once your) friends die every time so you can save your best friend. you become colder, more efficient as the loops go on. you go through the same few months around a hundred times to try to save your best friend from her fate. this time you'll save her. she sacrifices herself for the every single magical girl and becomes a god and now you're the only one who remembers her. great! hooray! anyways a win for homura is a win for magical girls (and yuri). why relive a day or so when you can relive months am i right? ------------------------------------ "Poor girl relives the same 2 months 100 times just to prevent her doomed-by-the-narrative girlfriend from dying and becoming God ------------------------------------ - Was literally in the timeloop for 12 years - Did it all for yuri - Became like. the devil (also for yuri) - magical girl who's weapon is just normal ass guns and bombs and shit " ------------------------------------ When you go into a time loop to save your girlfriend from dying but she just keeps dying horribly in every universe so you slowly start to get sick of looping and start using more direct routes to try to save her to the point where she doesn’t even know you anymore as you’re just trying to save her but it gets to the point where you’ve looped so many times trying to save her that her soul has become so powerful that she can become god only then does she remember you. And she does to free you and all the other magical girls in history from their pain but because she did this she rewrote the rules of the universe and therefore became a non physical entity and you had to watch her rebuild the universe. No one else even remembers she existed except for her little brother who sees her more as an imaginary friend than anything else and the only thing you have to remember her by is the pink ribbon that she wore in her hair. Btw you and your friends still aren’t free from being magical girls but at least you can’t become horrible monsters who are but a shell of your former self when everything becomes to much so now the only risk is dying in combat horribly instead. ------------------------------------ There was a psp game once and I'm pretty sure the whole thing was just recurring nightmares of the timeloop. Like. This isn't canon. But it lines up to me. She went to catholic school once, also, like, she deserves a win. Not because of Christianity or whatever but in spite of it.

[blueberrybirdsworld]

Collision 7/20

Summary:

Lando always had a type : blonde, models, not ready to settle down. Yet once he met her, all his world is changed and he slowly start to realises maybe he was wrong all this time.

It's a prequel story of The Cat Distribution System, on how Lando Norris fall in love with Ariana. Could be read seperatly.

Pairing : lando norris x original female character

Genre : SMAU, Fluff, slow burn, enventual smut and angst

Warning : none

CHAPTER 7 : SMAU

Serie Masterlist

@landonorris

New favorite things lately

@maxfewtrell: who are you and what have you done with my mate 😭

@carlossainz55: Books? Flowers? Museums? You’re gonna start painting next mate

@oscarpiastri: i blinked and now you're a literature student

@mclaren: New hobbies unlocked during winter break

@sunshineandoil: since WHEN is he walking around London being all ✨poetic✨

@curlylando: the HAIR. the BOOKS. the VIBES. i’m not surviving this softboy lando era

@bloominglando: “new favorite things” LANDO WHO IS SHEEEE 😭

@user4: Is he secretly dating a literature major or 😭?

@user5: 'New favorite things' WHO is your muse sir 🤨

@thelanverse: lowkey convinced he’s been hanging out with a secret girlfriend who likes museums 🧐

@chaoticgoodlando: not to be dramatic but this is my roman empire now

@user6: i miss the chaotic gremlin content but also i am obsessed with this vibe

@daydreamdriver: can he drop the playlist he’s clearly been listening to, we need answers

@arianariverriaTaking my time lately

@pietra; you look like you walked straight out of a Monet painting 💌✨

@cloudsfortea: the coziest life ever omg

@balletslippersoul: you’re literally living in a cottagecore dream right now

@violetmuse: someone cast her in a period drama immediately

@sleepywhiskers: the kitten sleeping like that?? i’m sobbing???

@littlebloombooks: can we get an apartment tour pls i’m begging 🙏

@filmcameradreams: your days off look like the intro of the most beautiful movie

@sweetbreadsunday: i just know her baguettes taste better because of ✨aesthetic✨ reasons

@pinkribbonsoul: you with a bow in your hair >>> healing content

@f1dailytea Spotted: Lando Norris at the National Gallery in London earlier today… and he wasn’t alone. Fans on-site say he was walking around with a girl — but no clear photos yet.

👀 @arianariverria also posted about the National Gallery just hours earlier... Plus, the internet is noticing their latest posts have suspiciously similar cozy/artsy vibes. And remember: Lando was also seen attending a performance at the Royal Opera House last week, where Ariana just happens to be the lead ballerina... coincidence ? 🕵️‍♀️

@f1lanfan: wait isn't Ariana the ballerina girl?? She posted from the SAME museum?? If they are trying to keep it a secret they are terrible at it, must be PR

@softlander: why does I don't see Lando as the type of guy to pick flower for a girl and take her to a museum date ??

@landofthegrid: NO WAY he’s dating her. she's way too "soft girl aesthetic" for him 😭

@mclarensunshine: why does this smell like PR tho??? like trying to fix the party boy image?

@formula1tea: remember when he was seen at the Opera?? where she dances?? yeah no this isn’t random.

@curlylando: i actually think they’re cute if it’s real 🥲 leave him alone pls

@balletboyfail: he’s not into artsy girls lmao his type is influencers and party girls, y’all are reaching

@daydreamsatrose: if this is PR it’s the weirdest move ever lol imagine paying a ballerina to soft-launch

@racetrackrivalries: im sorry but after years of clubbing pics we’re supposed to believe he’s reading poetry now? bye.

@starrynorris: IF it's true... good for him tbh?? growth era maybe??

@ariandart: imagine the chaos if it's real and they've been hiding it for months 🤡

@gridgossip: since when does Lando even GO to museums lmao this feels so fake.

@queenofdrama: went to look at her Insta — she’s NOT his type at ALL 😭 girl looks like she reads poetry by candlelight.

@pitstopchaos: y’all are delulu if you think he gave up yacht parties for some ballet dancer girl 💀

Texts messages : Pietra and Ariana

Ariana: pietra are you awake

Pietra: hi love yeah what’s going on?

Ariana: have you seen it the gossip pages

Pietra: i did i was just about to text you are you okay?

Ariana: no not really they’re tagging me and the comments are horrible

Pietra: babe you can’t listen to them they don’t know anything

Ariana: but what if they’re right what if i’m not his type at all ?

Pietra: ariana stop you’re exactly the kind of person lando needs

Ariana: but what is his usual type? be honest

Pietra: honestly? he’s dated a few party girls influencer types loud, flashy but that doesn’t mean that’s what makes him happy

Ariana: i’m not like that i’m... quiet, i like museums and books and staying home i’m boring compared to what he’s used to

Pietra: no you’re not you’re real, you listen you see things that most people miss lando’s not with you because he wants the same as before he’s with you because you make him feel different

Ariana: but what if i’m just a distraction, something sweet until he gets bored

Pietra: ariana lando’s not like that not when it’s real and it’s real with you i've never seen him like this, he is glowing

Ariana: but what if i’m just a phase what if he wakes up one day and realizes he wants someone flashier again someone who fits his world better

Pietra: then that’s on him, not you you deserve someone who chooses you every day and honestly? i think he’s already started to

Ariana: i’m scared

Pietra: i know it’s scary to be cared for and even scarier to care back but you’re not alone in this lando isn’t letting you go that easily, i promise

Ariana: thank you i’m sorry for dumping all this on you

Pietra: never apologize for feeling things especially when you’re feeling real things

Texts messages : Pietra and Lando

Pietra: you awake?

Lando: sort of what’s up?

Pietra: we need to talk about ariana

Lando: what happened?? is she okay??

Pietra: she’s freaking out about the gossip and the comments about you

Lando: shit i knew it would get to her fuck what do i do??

Pietra: breathe listen she’s scared people are making her doubt herself, making her feel like she’s not enough for you

Lando: WHAT no no no she’s more than enough she’s everything

Pietra: then you need to show her that not just say it make her feel like it’s real

Lando: i thought i was i’m trying

Pietra: lando you’re doing your best but this is new for her your world is loud and fast and big, she’s terrified she doesn’t fit in it

Lando: but i want her in it i want her in every part of it

Pietra: then you have to let her know

Lando: what if she doesn’t want that what if she gets tired of it of me

Pietra: god you’re so blind sometimes

Lando: excuse me??

Pietra: she likes you, lando so much but she’s just scared she’s cautious because it matters if she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be panicking

Lando: i just i don't want to scare her off i don’t want to mess this up

Pietra: you’re not going to you just have to be patient show her she’s welcome in your world that she belongs there

Lando: i don’t want her to ever doubt it not even for a second

Pietra: then prove it, lando start now

Taglist : @angelluv16, @httpsxnox, @anunstablefangirl, @chocolatemagazinecupcake, @mayax2o07, @freyathehuntress, @verogonewild, @esw1012, @lilyofthevalley-09, @its-me-frankie

Let me know if you wanted to be added to the taglist !

[heeseung64]

THAT MOMENT,

he knew he'd fallen deep.

enha drabbles catching the realisation that they fell in LOVE love with you. how did it get this far?

enhypen getting caught or having realisations. hashtag i think about this alot dot dot dot.. hashtag why am i writting scenarios like.. have i lost the plot dot dot dot..

when heeseung knew,

• "she called me by my full name." he would anxiously word out to his friends, "she never calls me that! she's mad at me and i-"

• 'since when did i began to care whether or not she's mad at me?'

• 'since when was i okay with you calling me hee?'

• heeseung knew a fear evolved towards you, it was a fear that involved you losing any interest you had in him, and it only hit him when you were distancing yourself- something you'd never usually do.

• so when he saw you leave, distance yourself away, call him by his government name? god. he realised he was so madly in love and dependent on you. he was willing to throw away his pride.

• what he didn't expect himself to do, was show up at your door in the middle of night, after subconsciously driving to your place in the fleeting thought of thinking about you.

• what he didn't expect either, was to see you eagerly waiting for him, loose clothes, messy hair and a soft frown- pulling him in before the cold gets in.

•"y/n," he'd call, tugging at your sleeves as you try to leave another conversation he'd force to have with you. he'd frown and pout, apologising until you called him by his only nickname again.

• only, did he admit that there was no going back, was when he crashed his lips into yours, pleading to stay the night.

when sunghoon knew,

• he'd find himself giggling at EVERYTHING you'd do. its not even funny but he'd start smiling at you picking lint from your sweaters, or even humming at random times.

• "you really like that song huh?" sunghoon would smile at you, getting close to your face until you'd pry away from the proximity. "i like it.." you'd answer, and your small voice would stab literal wounds into his heart. god, you're the cutest, divine thing to ever step onto this earth and it gives him giddy feels.

• he often recorded you too, taking photos and posting on his story with captions only you would know- everyone practically believed he was taken.

• so when jake borrows his phone, sunghoon meets an epiphany of sorts.

• "dude, you need to free up your storage. its almost full of photos of your girlfriend."

• 'girlfriend?' "she's not my-" "she's not? well she is super pret-" "she is." "oh well she texted y-"

• sunghoon would clear his throat, stumbling on his words as he snatches his phone out of his friends reach. "don't look on my phone anymore, or at my.. girlfriend."

• you clearly weren't aware of this, but since then, he became shameless, labelling you as his- even as boldly as him announcing it in-front of you- to which, made him so in love with your blushed reaction.

when jay knew,

• when you pointed out his habit of buying duplicates of the same thing.

• two perfumes, two bags, two shirts.. they didn't need to be matching, but he always bought it in suspiciously sized you specifically..

• "i have a toothbrush.. jay.." you remind him, as he retracts the toothbrushes he offers back, shoving it back into the grocery bag- "i have that already." "i have that already-" "this one you gave me yesterday!" you would talk back to a wall as he just stands there, quiet as he just continues to stuff your hands with countless necessities (and useless expensive things).

• and when he found you doing the same thing when we was gone- did he realise how BAD he subconsciously does it, to the point you even picked it up.

• "i bought you-" you both say at the same time, retracting the statement while awkward silence hung as the cafe music played. you both exchanged matching keychains- and jay broke a smile- something he'd rarely do if you were looking.

• "for me?" he'd chuckle, holding back the biggest grin. "of course jay!" you'd smile, and all he could do was watch you cuddle the keychain, grinning like a maniac.

• 'fuck. i'm such an idiot for you.'

• he'd be wearing the things you got him, using them proudly like he's showing off his medals. "that's cute, where'd you get it from?" someone would ask, and he'd shut it downz

• "the place burnt down."

• "this item is the last ever produced."

• he's running out of excuses- not up until "his girlfriend got it for her." jungwon had to step in, frustrated at his act.

when jake knew,

• when you're constantly over at his place, not because he lets you- because he wants you.

• big and needy, he's always picking quality time and physical affection as his love language- and the fact that you're never saying no to his plea? best thing ever.

• layla pretty much sees you everyday- even prefers you over jake, and as much as he hates to admit it- he loves the fact that you have some sort of belonging in his home.

• he just didn't realise he loved you this much, not up until-

• "jake.." jay sits down jake, clearing his throat. "are you..? perhaps.. seeing someone?"

• "why?" and jake could only choke as jay had explained the amount of hair ties, women's clothing, makeup, skincare and all even bags would be seen organised at some places in his house - like you owned a portion of it.

• "that's just y/n's stuff." he'd casually say, acting it off cooly, only when jay would sneer, "y/n... right. does she know she has it here?" like he's some creep who would steal your belongings- and, he probably has totally done that. "w-we're not like that-"

• "i'm home-" you casually interrupt shutting the door behind you. you pause at the table, catching a red-eared jake and smirked up jay- only for him to clap- pointing at you. "yeah fucking right." chuckling to himself before leaving.

•"i figured i'd come chill for the night, if that's okay jakey?" you'd ask, and he abruptly stands, taking you to his room "y-yeah.. good. g-great even." he stammers, feeling his heart thump when you'd instantly lay on his lap. falling asleep instantly.

when sunoo knew,

• when small trips for coffee eventually became late night walks.

• small hangouts here and there became mini picnics every saturday, talking about life and updating each-other on nothing special.

• everything was a date even if he denied that it was. sunoo loved the idea of dates with you- but maybe you being so casual and outgoing was what made him think he wasn't special.

• wrong. he realised these hangouts were the only thing you looked forward to when he noticed your flustered face, slipping up on a sentence you were supposed to keep a secret.

• "yeah, we can try that pottery activity some other time, don't wanna bother you this month." sunoo hazily replies on facetime. he's nervous, waiting for a reaction even. he's watching your face in the corner of his screen subtly, catching you as you pout, frowning.

• "bother me? but i clear out all my schedules just to see you.."

• "i'm not just saying yes because you always chose me to hang with.. i want to be with.." you mumble the rest as if he didn't catch on, his eyes creasing into a little smile, as if you didn't just crash his heart into a wave of epiphany.

• sunoo FOLDS immediately.

• "okay how about tomorrow?"

• "what about today in fact? dinner..? stay there. i'll get you."

• now that you said you'd even ditch priorities for him- he's not backing out on any opportunity to be with you.

when jungwon knew,

• you would never this man's real intentions or feelings. neither would he. a real suppressor of emotion.

• not until you broke his facade, and he realised that he'd been denying that tug in his heart for way too long.

• jungwon, unaware, always held a face towards you that you can distinctly tell apart from the other, bubblier- friendlier faces he gives others.

• intense, he would look at you seriously all the time! it's like he holds his breath whenever you speak, looking dead into your eyes, brows stoic and angled. don't even get started on the way he MAULS the inside of his cheek, biting at it like he's holding his tongue from breathing near you.

• he's unaware of how he devours you under his eyes.

• AND OBVIOUSLY he doesn't mean to look mean! :( he just loves looking at you. a little too much. but only now did he realise how intense it was.

• "jungwon do you hate her?" heeseung- noticing every time- would talk quietly to jungwon, as if you didn't pick it up. jungwon's eyebrows twitched, whispering to heeseung who only chuckled in response. this fueled you to only doubt your closeness- and so instead,

• you put down your cute, doe-y and expressive attitude- just, once. experimenting if anything would change.

•so when jungwon talks to you, all you could do was stare, hum. mirroring whenever he looks at you.

• GOD HE PICKED UP YOUR BEHAVIOUR FIRST THING. ITs like he stammered his words.

• you see it in the way brows twitch, eyes shaking, the corner of his lips tilt in the slightest. and he's TRYING SO HARD not to show it. "yeah. but it's nothing special, so." you reply so shortly, petty, mad - like you're no longer interested. like you're no longer interested in him at all.

• 'shit.' 'what have i done?'

• IMMEDIATELY he finds himself around you, deciphering you like you were a puzzle he was meant to code. he looks at you with glossy eyes with every chance and interaction.

• "you look like you're scared of me." you confess your notice, and he gulps- "it's more than that.." he replies, and you instantly snap. "i don't like it when you look at me like.." "like what?"

• "like you hate me."

• face FALLEN. this man is crushed. he shakes his head- "nonono-" stuttering. "i'm sorry i just really looking at you a lot imsosososorry-"

• and he knows he can't lie. the truth is right there. his hands finding a way to snake around yours.

when niki knew,

• THIS MAN IS NOTTTT NONCHALANT

• this guy thinks he has it altogether. THINKS.

• that reality came crushing down when you gave him your scarf.

• "i'm not a fucking doll. stop dressing me up." he mumbles into your scarf as you wrap him up, giggling as his mouth gets covered by your scent.

• "whatever, if you didn't like it you would've had it off by now." you'd reply and niki would huff, sighing as if you were annoying. "i will." he'd LIE.

• "yeah right you baby. get home safe, stay warm." you say, cooing to him as you shut the door, watching from your bedroom window as you watch him walk down the street.

• instinctively you pulled out your phone to record, knowing at one point he'd BREAK.

• and there he was, running around poles in the street, skipping, dancing his feet across the pavement as his hands smeared your fluffy scented wool into his airways. his eyes squinting so hard as he smiles through your scarf, giggling and twirling like he's never had a bone of serious in his LIFE.

• "SHE CALLED ME BABY." "HOLY FUCK SHE SMELLS SO GOOD."

• this took you off guard, laughing off as you KNEW it had to be sent to the gc.

• riki did not give two damns about his phone blowing up, until the next day where the boys enter his room, bright and early in the morning.

• "of course you slept with it." sunghoon would laugh, clapping as the others join in.

• riki -confused and sleepy eyed- takes a hard long look at the video, his jaw unable to close, his ears red and steaming. his first instinct was to hide that damned scarf- only to be teased.

• niki knew he had it for you. the hots. the everything. the personality. everyone believed that you fell first, the way your bubbly personality was so effortlessly displayed with your crushing towards him.

• but deep down, he knew he fell to his knees the moment he met you.

• this was just the tipping point- he never knew he was this down bad..

• "we're never gonna let this moment die, sorry.." jake would chuckle, replaying the seconds where he'd sprint out of frame, tightening your scarf around his neck.

• 'you can keep it :3' you text him in the morning.

• '.. if that's okay with you.' he'd be trembling to text, stomach churning in hopes you'd act normally to him this morning.

____________________________________________________

perm:

@nikiswifiee @ancnymcnzjy @ja4hyvn @17ericas @hoonieyun @jellyluv4eva @wheretheheckis-ssaki @hyukabean

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t good with pictures, for Archive Purposes Only, I will add the most important bits of the/rest of the full post and have also checked/updated/added the source links to the best of my abilities]

[all written timestamps are in London, UK time] - 1 Sep 2011:  Harry & Louis “wee” tweets about how the other pees  [5:29 PM - Harry: "If @Louis_Tomlinson feels tired...he sits down to have a wee...I've seen it." 5:33 PM - Louis: "@Harry_Styles When harry is tired he doesn't even lift the seat when he wees.... #weeweemess" 5:41 PM - Louis: "#harrywetsthebed"

(tweet 1 / tweet 2 / tweet 3)] My favorite is Harry commiserating with Lou [Teasdale] about how Tom [her husband] & Louis pee the same way [5:41 PM - Harry: "@louteasdale @tomatkin I know...they do it together and talk about current affairs (news,football etc.)"

(tweet)]

1 Sep 2011: Official Annual 2012 [is] released

"Written in collaboration with the boys, this is the only annual to include exclusive interviews, up to the minute news and info, and never before seen photos, including what the boys themselves look for in a girl, their idea of an awesome date, all the embarrassing tour moments and crazy tour stories"

3 Sep 2011: Somewhere together; video of girls meeting them; “Harry asked me how big are my boobs” (video)

5 Sep 2011: Louis retweets “harry’s eyes, harry’s smile, harry’s everything, he’s just beautiful.” [link to screenshot no longer active and I can't find the retweet on Louis' twitter account, but i saw that retweet with my own eyes and can personally vouch for that this happened. if anyone still has the link or screenshot, please send it my way, so i can tack it on to the end of this post, thank you.]

6 Sep 2011: [The] epic Sugarscape interview with “I like girls” and “penis jokes” and “chop suey’s eyelashes” and “Lou, can I give you a blowjob?” [is] filmed. [Trailer:

I will add the videos to the mentioned bits, but please do yourself a favour and watch all parts! Here is a YouTube playlist of all the videos from those interviews. All of these videos from that day are FULL of baby boyfriends moments; Louis can barely keep his hands off his Harry; he honks Harry's boobie, plays with his curls, massages his shoulders, etc. and Harry is just as all over Louis, not just with the eyelashes compliment or literally asking to give him a blowjob off-screen, but also stating "I don't think a carrot would cover it 😌" when talking about Louis' dick. Harry: "I like girls!" Everyone: 🤨🤣😲🫥 Zayn: "You've changed!" (for app users: starts at 0:39)

Harry: "Ah yeah, I saw that, he had his hat on his dingaling." Louis: "Yeah." (looking down at Harry) "What's a dingaling?" Harry: "Um..." Louis: "Oh, you mean his penis!" Harry: "Yeah." Sugarscape: "Maybe Lou could have a carrot in front of his? Is that something you'd consider?" Louis: "🤔🥕" Harry: ".....I don't think it'd cover it." (Harry and Lou crack up and low five about it in agreement :D) Harry: "Yeeeeeeeh, penis jokes!" (for app users: starts at 1:05)

Sugarscape: "And what about Louis?" (she pronounces is like Hewey) Harry: "My favorite thing about Chop Suey is his eyelashes." (at 0:24 Harry comes up with that nickname, because Louis rhymes with Chop Suey) Louis: "I've actually been told I have long eyelashes!" (for app users: starts at 1:28)

Harry to Louis, off-screen: "Lou, can I give you a blowjob?" Louis: "I'd love for you to, if you'd just wait." Niall: (looks over at them at cracks the fuck up) (for app-users: starts at 3:11)]

[same day,] 6 Sep 2011: Heat Magazine livestream with H/L tension and “Why do we have to hide the elephant?” (video) [my little summary post with some mentioned highlights is here incl. "the moment that made me choke up quite painfully was at 1:55 when they were asked “What’s your pet peeve?” and Harry says he gets a full-body shiver when people bite bottle caps off with their teeth, Louis hates when people chew loudly with their mouths open, okay, alright.. but then Liam says: “Zayn hates it when people lean too far over a banister when they’re high up somewhere.” and Zayn nods and says “Yeah, I really hate that.” 💔"]

[same day,] 6 Sep 2011: 4music interview with “I met you in the toilet” and Louis saying to Harry: “I haven’t seen you in a dress before, hmmm ❤️” filmed. [video - the date in the video title is wrong btw]

[2011 - 2021 - 2019 - 2020 💖💙 -- pick someone who's supportive 💙💚]

[same day,] 6 Sep 2011: GQ Awards Dinner in London [video]

7 Sep 2011: Harry & Louis "cereal/milk/tea/he’s sweet enough" tweet fest

[12:49 PM - Louis: "Need some cereal @Harry_Styles I hope there is milk!!" 12:57 PM - Harry: "@Louis_Tomlinson I left you some :) make me a tea please! haha .x" 1:04 PM - Harry: "@SarahMushet he's sweet enough..." (the tweet H replied to isn't available anymore, but i remember the fan said something about whether Harry will also need/want sugar for his tea, so H said he (Louis) "is sweet enough" 🥹)

(tweet 1 / tweet 2 / tweet 3)]

8 Sep 2011: Red or Black announcement video with Louis nuzzling Harry’s thigh (at the end of the video)

9 Sep 2011: Louis’ “sleeping to dream about you” tweet [8:31 AM - Louis: "Sleeping to dream about you..."

(tweet)]

continues in Part 2

TIMELINE: September 2011

Fresh off of the Hannah break-up and Leeds, we have September 2011, full of promo and domestic!Larry.

Keep reading

[babydollshifter]

How I Manifested My SP After a Year of Struggle, Chaos & Misunderstanding the Law

(buckle up, this is a lil wild)

Let’s start with the fact that… I didn’t even know this guy. I had never spoken to him. Not once. I just randomly started crushing on him one day — and honestly?? It was so random that I wouldn’t be shocked if HE manifested me first. I was minding my business.

My friend used to know him, so I’d been hearing stories about him for like… two years? And I knew we went to the same school, but I’d never seen him until suddenly—BOOM. There he was. Real. Breathing. Cute. And I was like “ok wait why is my heart doing things??”

Naturally, I spiraled. I started stalking his TikTok reposts (don’t do that, it’s not cute) and realized we liked the same stuff. He seemed fun, lowkey goofy, just my type. So the crush got worse. But here’s where I messed up: my mindset? Absolute garbage.

I kept thinking, “He’s too shy. I’m not good enough. He’d never like me like that.” I was literally setting myself up to fail. I messaged him once — got nothing back. Because duh, I was already assuming he wasn’t gonna answer. I knew about the Law of Assumption, but I didn’t really understand it. I’d visualize him, then be like “but what if it never happens” five seconds later.

Every day I thought about him. Every day I got mad that it wasn’t working. I kept saying I was manifesting him but deep down I was still waiting for proof. Still doubting. Still lowkey begging the universe to show me something.

Took me a YEAR to realize the problem was me. I was saying “he’s mine” while still looking at the hallway like a heartbroken NPC every time he walked by. I had to change that.

So I did. I stopped looking for signs. Stopped stalking. Stopped overthinking. Every time he popped into my head, I was like “yep, he’s already mine, moving on.” And I finally started believing it. I worked on myself, built up my confidence, and didn’t even try to “manifest” him again.

And guess what? HE messaged ME. Outta nowhere. Apologized. Explained stuff. Total plot twist moment.

I wasn’t even shocked. I was like “well, finally.” Because once you actually believe you’ve got it, it has to show up. That’s how it works.

AND NOW??

We’re literally perfect. Like not even being dramatic — he treats me so well. He always checks in, sends me memes, compliments me out of nowhere, and actually listens when I talk (10/10 bare minimum KING behavior). He flirts with me like we’re in a teen movie and makes me feel like I’m the only girl on earth. He’s soft with me in private but funny and chill around others. AND he remembers the smallest things I say?? Ugh.

We joke around, go on little walks, sometimes just sit in silence and it's still perfect. It’s not forced. It’s not stressful. It just clicks.

The version of him I wanted? He’s literally that now. And honestly, I’m not even surprised — I became the version of me who had this. That’s the real secret.

So yeah. Don’t give up. Don’t spiral. Stop begging the hallway to make eye contact. Act like it’s already yours — and then it is.

Now go live your Wattpad story.

[sparrows4bats]

So this is Batcow fan account, and I shall starting earning that title now.

Batcow is the greatest matchmaker to ever live. She is the reason for the batfamilys continuing sanity and relationship status. The Manor functions because of Alfred and Batcow.

How, you ask? How does a bovine save superhero and vigilante love lives? Why does a cow hold that much power? Dear sweet child, Batcow Is, that is how. But some quick examples of her her brilliance follow:

Dickory

Batcow is how Dick wins Kory back after a spectacular fight that almost breaks them up. Dick is upset and takes it out by arguing with Bruce and then walking around the Manor Gardens to cool off where he notices Batcow has somehow inexplicably ended up on the roof of the Manor. She looks unharmed, but there is no way for her to get down.

Dick panics because if anything happens to that cow, Damian will murder everyone in the house and fight Ras himself to get her to a Lazarus Pit. So after a moment or two of trying to think of a way out of this. He does what he usually does when his back is against the wall, and his life is on the line. He calls Kory.

After listening to him explain, she flies over and air-lifts Batcow off the roof. Where Dick promptly falls to his knees in front of this literal Queen and apologies for being a stubborn ass. Kory laughs and kisses him. Dick brings Bat Cow treats for weeks after.

JayRoy

Jason has been pining after Roy for months, possibly years, but can't find the right way to see if they could be anything more than friends. If they get together, he is in this for the long haul, not just for Roy but Lian too. So, instead of communicating like a normal person, he starts a silent campaign of proving he is Step Dad Material.

All of his attempts somehow backfire. Lian loves him, but Roy has no kitchen left and thought they both died twice. (He still lets Jason watch her, though. JASON IS OBLIVIOUS) So he is looking for child safe activities that don't involve bedtime stories(Lian prefers his over Roy's already), and then Damian remarks how friendly his pets are with civilians in his never ending pursuit of getting Bruce to allow him to patrol with his pets. And Jason knows exactly what to do. Why go to a petting zoo when he has one in the Manors backyard?

(They are still banned from the actual zoo. That penguin was fine. Eventually.)

So he brings Roy and Lian over to the Manor, and Alfred sets up lunch on the grass. Lian loves batcow and the rest of Damians' menagerie. She is so happy that after hours of cuddling and feeding the animals that she throws herself into Jason's arms and says, "Thank you, Pops! Can we come back tomorrow? Pretty please?" Jason tears up, and Roy smiles. He also asks him on a date so he can make it official. (Roy isn't as happy when he finds out about the Dragons on their next visit.)

Jason gives Lian a Batcow plushie when he adopts her a few years later.

TimBer/ Timbernkon

Tim hesitates to kiss Bernard and later Kon for so long that Batcow steps up to help him.

Tim after hours of too little sleep and too much angst . He goes to vent to the cow because she's good company and won't spill his secrets to anyone. One of these chats was interrupted by a worried Bernard looking for this boyfriend after he disappeared from his office.

Bernard loves Batcow, and seeing him act so adoring to her makes any doubt he had fly away. Because Bernard looks at him in almost the same way so he leans in and finally kisses him properly. They end up making out a little and get caught by Alfred, who came to feed Batcow her dinner.

When Tim and Bernard introduce Kon to Batcow, after a few weeks of trying to convince him to date them, Batcow full on body checks him into Bernard, and they accidentally kiss as Kon avoids crushing him. Tim pouts until Kon kisses him, too.

Bernard now visits Batcow at least once a week and bonds with Damian over her.

BatCat

They didn't know Batcow was pregnant or how she even got pregnant, until one day she went into Labour.

Damian is a mess and enlists Selinas' help because she has been around so many cat births. She tries to tell him a cow is completely different, but Damian is desperate and won't take no for an answer. Silena and Damian stay with Batcow, brushing and encouraging her until Batcalf is born.

Damian falls in love at first sight, and Silena has a realisation and suddenly blurts out that she thinks she might be pregnant while looking over the newborn. Damian doesn't react for a moment, and Silena fears the worst until he starts tearing up a little and asks rather shakily, "Does that mean I'll be a big brother?" Silena hugs him and tells him he will be the best big brother and doesn't comment on the tears that soak her shirt.

They tell Bruce together, first about Batcalf and then about the baby. (He is stunned, and Damian tells him off for his response because his silence is upsetting Silena and "She needs little to no stress in her condition, Father!")

Damian and the Cows follow Silena like shadows during her pregnancy (she doesn't ask how Batcow gets into the house and Bruce is too upset about how his son and his pets are doing a better job than him at being supportive to notice how Bat Calf sleeps on Damians bed.)

Damian is the first, after her parents, to hold Helena Wayne. He gives her two Cow plushies she carries everywhere for years.

StephCass

Batcow goes missing while Damian is on a mission, Stephanie is meant to be watching her, as Alfred is away as well. AND SHE LOST THE COW. Damian is going to kill her. Not even Cass could save her.

Then she realises, Cass! Cass will find Batcow, if anyone can, Cass, the most competent person ever, will.

So Cass and Steph spend hours searching everywhere they can think of until it starts to rain. And Cass looks so good with wet hair and rain drops sticking to her lashes that she can't help just kiss her. (They might die tomorrow if they don't find the cow anyway, so YOLO). Cass kisses back and asks, 'What took her so long?'

Batcow is on the roof on the Manor. They call Kara to come get her. No one knows how she ended up there, but they all agree never to tell Damian.

Duke/Izzy

Apparently, 'Do you want to go see my crazy family's pet cow?' is a ridiculous way to ask a girl out. But it made Izzy laugh so hard she says yes anyway.

Duke gives Batcow extra attention ever since and sends Izzy regular updates on her 'Adventures'.

Jondami

Batcow, like in the supersons movie, is one of the first things Jon and Damian bond over. Jon comes over to help Damian with his pets regularly, and that is how their partnership develops to friendship and then something more.

Then, Batcow gets sick, and Damian panics hard. (He has contingencies in place if she dies, but if he can prevent that, he will.) Damian calls for Jon for the first time ever, and Jon is there in Minutes. Damian is in tears and hugging his cow like a giant teddy bear when he arrives. He's never seen Damian look so....human. They investigate what is hurting Batcow and Jon figures out she's pregnant AGAIN, this time possibly with twins.

Damian is so relieved that he hugs Jon. It's the first time Damian has touched him willingly outside of training and missions. They are both teenagers at this point, and its like Jons whole world tilts on its axis. Righting itself to centre on the boy in his arms, a boy who is so kind and lovely, despite all the reasons he shouldn't be. Damian fits under his chin, and suddenly, Jon knows he would do anything to make him happy, to keep in his arms where Jon can protect him. Jon knows Damian can protect himself and has done so hundreds of times, but Jon wants to be the one he calls when he's scared, and based on tonight, he already is.

Damian pulls back too soon, and Jon, instead of pulling him into another hug, kisses him. Best of all, Damian kisses him back.

Duke catches them, and they swear him to secracy with the agreement that he can bring Izzy over when the new calves are born.

They still don't know how Batcow got pregnant, but they name the calves Supercow and Wondercow because Lian insisted. (Jon and Damian laugh at Bruce's face when they introduce him to the new members of the family.)

Batcow deserves an award for her service. For now, she and her children are spoiled rotten.

[zepskies]

@lamentationsofalonelypotato

Omg yay!! Thank you so much, friend! I'm excited for you loll ❤️❤️

Again, I really love the soft reader in this fic. She's lovely and kind and there's just something about her that's so endearing that it makes me want to give her a big hug. 💚

She's a real sweetheart, right? Writing someone who wants to work with little kids, I wanted to write a young woman who isn't without her flaws, but really embodied that kind, nurturing nature that makes for great elementary school teachers. 💗 (And the kind of inner goodness that I think Dean would find endearing too.)

I'm melting over her reassurance to Dean that she doesn't regret a single second! And the kiss had me screaming!

Aww that was one of my favorite scenes for this doozy of a chapter lol. 🥹 But it kind of makes you wish that you could knock Dean's head in like a coconut and get him to see what's right in front of his face! 😂

As someone who loves to bake I felt this in my soul. Also I love that you've given us another reader like the reader in Midnight Espresso who likes to take care of other people, because again it's so warm and welcoming and fantastic!

Girl same! haha drawing on my own love of baking for this part. But omg I love you for referencing Midnight Espresso lol. She's definitely a kind of version of that reader who's a giver/nurturer. 💞

Dean, Dean, Dean... you know why. We all know why.

Again, he's being a big dummy!! 🙄

I'm so happy at this point, but I just know that Lisa is probably gonna ruin it. Dang it, I love that you included her to cause some friction and some angst, but I'm just living life on the edge of my emotions each time she comes in.

Now I feel bad because I read the next sentence about Lisa being nice. Lisa I'm so sorry. Please accept this potato as my humble apology. 🥔

loll you may want to hang onto your potato for a while. Lisa is...complicated in this story. But you'll see why! loll

Okay... before I dive into the five years later, I just want to say that I feel so bad for Dean, but at the same time you GO Benny! Because he's being so sweet and kind and isn't playing with her emotions, and he's literally there for her even though she's having someone else's kid. Like what a man. 👏🏻

Yes, Benny really stepped up, didn't he? He is being more straightforward than Dean, and the reader knows where she stands with Benny. But as the lovely Wayne (waynes-multiverse) pointed out, he also steps in where Dean really should be. We can see Benny's a good man with good intentions, and he so clearly likes the reader and wants to be there for her, right?

Buuuuut maybe he should've asked Dean if it was really ok if he pursued the reader before he stepped in. Maybe as his friend, he should've asked Dean what the hell he was doing with Lisa when the reader really needed him right now lol. Maybe that would've been the wake-up call Dean needed to get his shit together and realize he didn't really truly love Lisa. 🤔

Literally screaming yes! I'm so happy for them. And also I love the Robert Plant reference.

ehehe yes! Reader and Benny are making strides forward, but mean while Dean did win the debate for the kid's name 🤣

Oh buddy... and just like that the happy feeling is starting to ebb away. I mean I'm happy that she has someone, but I hate that she feels like she can't be herself there. It turns into feeling trapped really quick.

Ah, exactlyyy. It's good with Benny, sure, but it's not perfect. No relationship is, but at the same time, this is a key moment that you can see where reader/Benny might not be the best fit...

Side Note: Love the Jurassic Park reference. I know that you're as big a Jurassic Park girlie as I am!! 🦖 But it's also terrible that he let a four year old watch that 😬

Ahaha yes!! I knew you would catch that! Oh yeah, but that's the kind of mistake a man not used to little kids would make, I feel like 🤣

Baby, he wants to be the good man who treats her right. And don't think I don't see the subtle hinting that you've got going on Lisa. I'm about to take back my potato.

lol oh yeah, she's starting to get the hint that Dean is in love with the reader, even if she doesn't want it to be true. 😅 (Hold your potato until further notice - it's about to get worse before it gets better with Lisa 😂)

Dang it. Now I feel bad for Lisa. It's true though. It's literally five years of on and off and where is it going? I see what she's getting at and I do feel for her.

Yep, her timing to discuss this might not have been great, but her points are totally valid. Dean should NOT have been stringing her along for this long. And yet, she's been willingly a part of this 5-year rollercoaster with Dean, so she's kind of at fault too 😅

Ah yes, the classic Dean Winchester get mad at other things because he's too afraid to say the one big thing that he's held close to his heart for the past 5 years. *sigh* 😒 It's sad to me because Dean could have done this five years ago and it would have been less complicated. Now he's been with Lisa for 5 years, and the reader has been with Benny for 2. And yes maybe the reader isn't happy, happy, but in the end there are four people involved in this rather than the two it could have been at the beginning (or maybe 3?).

BIG YEP. That's where we're at - Dean letting his anger spill into other things instead of talking about the thing he should get off his chest. 🥲🥲 He's just not ready to admit that the idea of her and Benny getting married means he's lost his chance forever, because that would mean actually acknowledging he has feelings for her when he's meant to be with Lisa.

And you make a really good point there with Dean and how he should've broken things off with Lisa sooner and talked to the reader about where each of them stands emotionally -- all of which will be explored in the epilogue too.

Oh my word he's such a good dad to Robbie even when he's hurt and I can't take the feelings! 😭

I knowwww I'm sorry I almost killed Dean, but this is the first of many wake-up calls for both Dean and reader. 😭😭

And the fact that Benny calls Dean "brother" is just making the feelings even worse, because I know what's coming and oh man, it's gonna hurt Benny so much.

Oh yeah, we're going full heartbreak in the future for poor Benny, but at the same time, he did peep the way the reader held Dean's hand. He might be shouldering some Lisa-like denial himself where the reader is concerned. 😅

Oh boy... this is... this is really... I have no words because both of them have points. But I would still like my potato back, thank you very much.

LOL girl I told you! But thank you because I too thought both Lisa and reader had valid points in this argument, even if it was hard for both of them to hear. 😭💔

This is KILLING ME ALEX! They just need to communicate with one another instead of shutting each other out! DANG IT! SPEAK! DEAN STOP DOING THE SUFFER IN SILENCE BIT! We all know you can look super hot while you're brooding, but COME ON! I just want to hit him with a frying pan!

hahaaa yes the frying pan would come in handy right about now!! Communication (or lack thereof) is their biggest weakness in this story, but it just goes to show that no one means to do anyone wrong here.

I tried to do something different with this story and make it feel more realistic, with no real "villain," except that we can hurt the people we love the most unintentionally with our actions and inaction. What we say, and sometimes more importantly, what we don't say.

Like an end table. Because that's what every woman wants from her significant other 🤣 Also I'm literally cackling over the fact that Dean and Benny chose the same night to ask their ladies to marry them. Their brains are so in sync LOL.

Hahahaa right? Really seeing what might just hold the reader up from accepting this impending proposal. Dean did get one final warning on what he's about to lose, and it ain't Lisa 😭

She can have a whole truck full of potatoes. She did the right thing and the "Go fight for it," is just so lovely.

Better late than never, right? 😅 She finally realized she had to let Dean go. 💔 And I love that you liked the "Go fight for it," line, because that was one of my favorites too. It's time for Dean to get off his ass!

I especially love this little bit, because you describe what the reader wants in love (what we all want LOL) and then you add the difference when Dean touches her. But I also completely understand her hesitancy to go to Dean even though it's what her heart is telling her. She's trying not to get her heart broken and yet Dean is the person she's held there for so long.

Ahh thank you! 🥹 Girl wants that Godfather Thunderbolt lol, and she has it with Dean, she's just afraid of being hurt again, or just being "sex and a good time" for Dean. But he of course makes it clear that she's the Thunderbolt for him too. 💗💗

Can I ask how long it's been since they got back together? I love the time skip, but I'm just curious to see how long Dean waited to pop the question. 😊

Ooh so you'll find out the answer to that question in the epilogue! There will be some key scenes that fill in the in between -- from this moment, to the engagement, to the wedding (and more). 😘❤️❤️

Also the stuff about Benny is so sad- I'm beyond happy for the reader and Dean (their love makes me so happy)- but dang he was Dean's best friend. And the stuff about Dean saying that this wasn't how he wanted to be promoted, I'm having so many feelings AHHHHH! But I wish Benny happiness. Who knows? Maybe he and Lisa will meet up in a few years and bond 🤪

Oh it's sooo very bittersweet and messy, isn't it? Dean and reader certainly weren't perfect, and Benny really tried his best, but you'll see more of his side of the story in the epilogue, which a lot of what I wrote was to do just that for Benny. 🥲 He deserves his happy ending! (And there's closure for Lisa too. ❤️)

(I also felt the need to add the next paragraph because I read the comments)

Oh you saw that, huh? 😂 Yeah, I think you remember that turned into a fun "anonymous" ask in my inbox asking why I was so "defensive" when people criticized my work. I typically have thick skin and was ready to forget the comments entirely, but when that "ask" came in it really annoyed me, not gonna lie. lol

I probably should've just ignored the inbox message and deleted it, rather than spend more time and energy on replying to someone whose mind likely isn't going to be changed on how they talk to writers, regardless. 😂

I get that this AU story was "different," and messy with these relationships, but that was kind of the point.

Bless you though for your thoughtful and heartwarming feedback regarding the Lisa and Benny storylines! 💗💗💗

And I think that Dean's character makes sense because yes at the beginning he was a playboy, but then he started to feel the stability of the reader, started to crave something more than what he had in his life- and instead of going with her, he clung to Lisa.

Exactly! I never outright said Dean's age at the beginning of Part 1, though heavily implied that he was young (mid-20s) and the reader was even younger, fresh out of college. They made mistakes and had to figure out how to level up in their maturity to handle the situation of a surprise pregnancy, all while trying to build their careers.

For example, Dean tried to take Sam's advice to heart about trying to have "real relationships," but he didn't mean with just anyone, Dean. 😂

Just as the reader wanted something more and started to date Benny, but missed the electricity of what the reader thought love should feel like. Dean and the reader both felt the need to push down their feelings and search in the wrong places for what they wanted from each other. At least that's how I took it and I loved every single second of this fic and how you wrapped everything up!

Yes exactly! I really wanted to make people think on this one, and you got where I was going with this. 👌🏽

When you have so much going on around you and things you have to deal with (like a full on child you weren't prepared for), it can be hard to figure out what you really want, whether that's relationships, your career, or your own sense of identity. I'm so glad you enjoyed the angsty ride, even though it wasn't easy!! And again, I really appreciate your thoughts here. 🥹💕💕

ALEX, this fic was amazing! It had me feeling all the feels on this wonderful, beautifully written emotional rollercoaster. I can't wait to read the epilogue!

Thank you so very much, Lee!! I felt all the things while writing this one lol, so I really hope you enjoy the epilogue too. It's going to answer some of those questions for you and give these characters even more closure. ❤️❤️❤️

IF I STAY - Part 2

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized!Reader

Summary: Your dream is to work with kids as an elementary school teacher. Dean is well on his way to becoming a firefighter, keeping things light and “strings unattached” as he goes. After a one-night stand you never saw coming, you and Dean are forced to deal with the consequences…and figure out if the connection between you is worth fighting for.

AN: Deep breaths Are you ready for a rollercoaster of emotions? 😘❤️

Song Inspo: “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” and “It’s Now or Never” by Elvis

Word Count: 13.1K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, pregnancy feels, hurt/comfort, fluff, time jumps and flashbacks, sexual tension, mutual pining, spice~, and an ending…

❤️‍🔥 If I Stay Masterlist

Part 2: It’s Now or Never

At the doctor’s office, Dean goes in with you for the first trimester ultrasound. There you learn that you’re going to have a boy. Tears well up in your eyes and slip down your cheeks.

Dean wears a look of amazement as he sits on the edge of your bed. He takes up your hand and squeezes gently. He tries to be a strong support, even though he also tries to hide the fear that begins to churn in his gut.

For one of the first times in his life since Sam was born, he feels the weight of responsibility pressing down on him. In a good way. In a fucking scary way.

He looks at you and sees the wonder written across your face while you watch the tiny shape of your baby on the screen. His heartbeat thwaps fast and loud in the speakers.

Dean realizes something else then; the decision you're making is changing the course of your whole damn life…and it’s his fault.

With his weekly hookup rate, in the very back shelves of his mind he knew something like this could happen, even though he thought he'd been careful. (Apparently, condoms are fragile little shits.) But here, in this white wall-to-wall room that smells like hospital antiseptic, that thwap thwap thwap of a heartbeat reverberating in his ears, the reality of this is crashing hard on his shoulders and rattling down to the base of his spine.

Despite his earlier happiness, those thoughts stay with him when you two eventually get back into his car. You have the pictures of the sonogram in your hands. You smile down at them before you put them back in your purse for safekeeping.

However, you notice Dean’s sudden melancholy as he stares out at the road. He’s started the car, but he hasn’t moved to pull out of the parking lot yet.

“Hey, you okay?” you say, resting a gentle hand on his arm.

Dean shakes his head. “Look…I’m sorry for tossing a giant friggin’ monkey wrench into your life. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”

If possible, your heart softens even more. You slide your hand down to grasp his.

“Dean, this baby wasn’t planned, but he’s not a mistake,” you say. “I don’t regret anything.”

Dean stares back at you, incredulously. He can’t believe you could really say that to him. He doesn’t know what to say. He only knows what’s in his mind, and what he feels compelled to do in that moment.

He leans over and kisses you. It’s a firm meeting of his lips to yours and achingly familiar. But ultimately, it’s chaste. He pulls away and settles back in his seat.

When you blink your eyes back open, your expression is slack in shock.

“I’m sorry,” he says, seeming sheepish, and guilty. “I meant to say thank you. Just didn’t know any other way to say it.”

After a moment, you smile at him. It’s warm and almost shy.

Dean clears his throat, trying to ignore the way his face is heating up. He doesn’t say anything more. He just takes the wheel and shifts gears, pulling the car out of the parking lot. 

You don’t know what possesses you to bake cookies. Dozens and dozens of them, all the chocolate chip cookie recipes you can find. You’re in search of the perfect one. This will be the recipe your son will grow up on, and every time he eats them, he’ll remember how much you loved him.

And then, he’ll be ruined for any other chocolate chip cookies that try to grab his taste buds. He’ll say, Blech. Chips Ahoy? These aren’t as good as Mom makes!

…Or something like that.

Yes, these cookies have to be perfect. You’ll even write the ingredients down on a notecard and hide it away, and it’ll become your family secret recipe.

Once you feel like your cookie game is strong enough, you decide to test these babies out. You bring two dozen painstakingly baked confections to Firehouse 83, where Dean works. The man is a bottomless pit, to be sure, but you also want other people’s unbiased opinions. For science.

You park your car on the side of the road, making sure you’re not blocking the driveway where two huge fire trucks are parked. You head inside the firehouse with your big container under your arm and your purse on the other. Now at seven months into your pregnancy, you’ve gotten to the embarrassing “waddle” stage.

You’re still determined to be active though! You plan to keep working until you have the baby. Your parents live a few hours away, but you’re grateful that they want to help out as much as possible.

Even though they weren’t happy to hear about how you got pregnant, by now they've met Dean and begrudgingly admitted to liking him. He's really stepped up to the responsibility of a future father, insisting on baby-proofing your apartment, helping you shop for the essentials, and going with you to as many doctor’s appointments as he can. He’s even agreed to giving you child support payments, even though you hadn’t wanted to ask for it.

You look for him now as you enter the firehouse, trying to push the heavy glass door open with one hand.

“Here, I got you,” says a familiar baritone voice.

You’re pleasantly surprised at the man who helps you inside.

“Benny! It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, been…a while,” he chuckles, glancing down at the swell of your belly, but he squeezes your shoulder and leans in to hug you gently.

“Dean filled you in?” you ask. You hope so. Having to explain the story to one of his own friends would be embarrassing, especially since this is the man you walked in Sam’s wedding with. It reminds you of that day, and the way you told Dean that news in a glorified closet, with shaking hands and the wrong kind of butterflies.

Thankfully, Benny nods. “That he did…but come on, I’ll show you around. And I see you’ve brought somethin’ special for us?”

He gestures at the container you're holding and offers to take it off your hands. You give it to him, grateful for the help.

“Yeah, and I want you guys to give me your honest opinion.”

Benny tosses you a wink and a smile. “That I can do.”

Your cheeks begin to warm in a blush, but the way he helps you to a comfy couch in the common room earns your smile. There are still good men left in this world, and you’re glad to know that Dean works so well with one.

“You want some coffee, or water? Think we might have some lemonade,” Benny says.

“Water would be great, thank you,” you reply, as you rub your belly. The little man has decided to kick at your liver today. “I stopped drinking coffee for the baby. ”

It's your biggest challenge, to be honest. Try wrangling a group of fifteen to twenty six-year-olds while running on green tea, the fumes of sleep deprivation, reduced bladder control, and as much vim as you can muster.

“Ah, right,” Benny nods. “My sister has two kids. She cut out coffee, pain meds, some dairy stuff. But she claimed cheesecake was all right, ‘cause it’s got cake in the name.”

You giggle. “I see no flaw in her logic.”

Down the hall of the firehouse, Dean is just coming back in from going through a set of drills. He’s still the Candidate—the freshest blood in the house—so they’ve been putting him through his paces for the past several months. He’s eager to learn and to prove himself.

His ears perk up in confusion though. Did he just hear your voice?

Why does it smell like a bakery in here?

When he rounds the corner, he sees you in the common room, smiling and giggling like a teenager at something Benny said to you while he eats a soft baked cookie right out of a Tupperware container. You must’ve brought it for the firehouse.

This cozy little scene kind of annoys Dean somehow, though he doesn’t know why. He does know that it shouldn’t.

“Hey, look who’s here,” Dean says, forcing himself to smile. It becomes easier when you look his way, your eyes brightening at his arrival.

“There you are! Come ��ere and try these,” you say, pointing at the box Benny holds. “Tell me if our son’s going to have the best PTA mom ever.”

Dean can’t help but grin after trying a big bite of one of your cookies.

“Oh, mah Gah,” he says, holding a hand under his mouth so nothing comes crumbling out.

“Good?” you ask.

“Good friggin’ cookie,” he confirms, after he swallows. “You’re gonna have the other parents frothing at the mouth. Who’s gonna be able to compete with this?”

Benny nods in agreement. When Dean squeezes your shoulder, your sweet, happy smile makes him smile too.

She’s going to be a good mom, he thinks. He can only hope against hope that he can be the man his son needs.

Two months later, the time has finally come. Your water breaks when you’re in the middle of teaching your second graders how to spell exaggerate—and no, Joey, it’s not e-g-g-zagerate.

However, the embarrassment of him pointing out the fluid beginning to stain your slacks is swiftly cut off by your shock. Your first call is to the principal, to have her send someone to cover your class. Your next call is to Dean, telling him to meet you at the hospital.

“Why the hell did he have to bring her,” you mutter to yourself, wiping sweat from your brow. Here you are, gritting your teeth through contraction after contraction in this damn hospital bed, and Dean is outside the room talking to Lisa.

You know you have no real reason to be upset. She’s been trying her best to be your friend in recent months. Hell, she helped Eileen and your mom plan your baby shower. She even brought you flowers when she got to the hospital, but you notice how less than five minutes after she got here, she and Dean became embroiled in yet another argument. It seems to you that all they do is argue, break up for a week or two, and then get back together again.

The sex must be explosive, like the fireworks at goddamn Disney World.

But Dean eventually does come back into the room alone. His support grounds you over the next few hours. He lets you basically break his hand, all while he gives you encouragement (and stands by your shoulder, so he doesn’t see anything you’d rather him not see).

And then, your son is born. Every muscle, every cell in your body is exhausted, but the pain meds have kicked in, and you’re in that blissed out state between abject reality and being entirely entranced by the bundle in your arms. His perfect face is just there, sleeping for the moment after the nurses taught you how to breastfeed.

Dean returns to sit in the chair beside you. He gives you some water and a piece of a protein bar. You’re not that hungry, but he pointed out that you haven’t eaten since before your water broke.

“Sam and Eileen are on their way up,” he says.

You nod in reply. You’re too into your son right now to think of anything else.

Dean shakes his head in wonder as he reaches out with a tentative hand, brushing his fingers over the baby’s downy head. He was born with a little tuft of brown hair.

“Okay, down to business,” Dean says, shooting you a playful look. “I vote for Zeppelin.”

You groan. “Dean, no. Veto. I’m not naming my son after a rock band.”

“Aw, come on. It’s a badass name!”

“What about Aiden?” you suggest.

“Veto,” he snorts. You two agreed to getting five “vetos” each, but this discussion has been more like a battle of wills over the last several months.

“Okay, what about Daniel? That’s strong, classic,” you pose.

Dean considers it with a tilt of his head. “All right, that one’s a maybe.”

Again, he strokes the baby’s soft cheek. You look over at Dean with a small smile.

“You’re going to be a good dad, you know,” you tell him. It earns his gaze. Although he’s trying to stay strong, you read the hidden insecurity there, the worry and fear. You rest a hand on his arm. “You are, Dean. You’re a good man, and you’ve really stepped up these past few months. This obviously isn’t how either of us thought our lives would go, but if this had to happen with someone, I’m glad it’s you.”

Dean’s expression softens. He hesitates, but he lays a hand over yours and squeezes gently.

“Thanks,” he says.

Your eyes meet, and it’s a moment charged with something you can’t even name. It’s not the first time you’ve felt this feeling with him. It both fills your heart with warmth, and makes you ache.

Then the door opens. It’s Lisa, Sam, and Eileen. Dean’s hand slips away from yours as they all pour in to congratulate you and Dean, and of course, meet the baby. There’s a lot of soft cooing and playful shushing.

In that small chaos, your parents call to tell you that they’re finally almost here. It really sucked not having your mom with you, but your parents live far enough away that they were going to take a train and stay with you for at least a week. Their train unfortunately got delayed due to mechanical failure.

It's okay though. Getting through the past several hours has made you realize that you’re stronger and more capable than you think, and even though part of you is still scared to death, you don’t need a husband to be a good mom. You’re going to give this your all, no matter who’s beside you…

And that's no more apparent than when Dean soon has to step out again, leading Lisa out of the room. He saw how her “helpful” suggestion to have a get-together at their apartment to celebrate the baby’s birth was setting you on edge. Really, you just want to sleep for the next 24-hours and not have any more pictures of you taken.

It gets loud enough outside your hospital room that Sam and Eileen feel they have to intervene. Lisa is Eileen’s best friend, and she’s the best equipped to try and deescalate the argument from that end, while Sam deals with Dean. It’s messy, it’s irritating, and it means that even today, you can’t just have a little bit of peace.

You sigh and cradle your still nameless baby close to your chest. He’s all that matters. Already, your heart is so damn full just taking him in.

“What’s your name, my little love?” you whisper. “What am I going to write on your certificate, besides Winchester?”

“How about Benjamin,” comes a Louisiana drawl.

You perk up and smile in surprise. “Benny, hey.”

He greets you with a slightly hesitant kiss on the cheek. He’s brought the baby an adorable teddy bear, and you a beautiful bouquet of white and blue roses, along with a box of chocolates.

“It’s the assorted kind, but they’ve got plenty of the caramel ones you like,” he says, then gazes down at the baby. “Aw, he’s a little charmer. Already got more of you than Dean, that’s for sure.”

You laugh lightly at his teasing. “I don’t know about that.” You hope your son inherits Dean’s strong jaw, and his green eyes.

Benny scratches the back of his head. “Also…sorry if I’m crossing some kind of boundary here. Looks like it’s a bit of a circus outside.”

You shake your head and smile through burgeoning tears. You set the chocolates on the end table where he’s placed the flowers and the teddy bear.

“No, it’s very sweet. Thank you,” you say. You glance out the window of your room to the hallway, where the arguing between Dean, Lisa, Sam, and Eileen seems to finally be calming down. You’re so damn tired, you don’t give a crap about whatever they’re hashing out now.

You look down at your son, and despite your strong thoughts earlier, insecurity begins to creep back into your mind like inky claws.  

“How are you holding up?” Benny asks. His face is kind and concerned when he notes the change in you.

You meet him with a wobbly smile. “Honestly? I’m afraid. I know I have a lot of people who want to support me, and I’m grateful, but…I just have this terrible feeling that we’re going to end up alone, him and me.”

You look down at your son, and you have to wipe away a tear from your eye before it falls on his face.

A large, warm hand rests over yours. Your gaze raises slowly, and Benny smiles at you. He’s serious though.

“Don’t you worry about that,” he says. “You’re not gonna be alone.”

FIVE YEARS LATER... 

For all that changes, there are some things that stay the same.

Dean and Lisa are still the world’s most “off again, on again” couple you’ve ever met. Sam and Eileen are still going strong as the hardworking, driven career couple. Your son is growing more and more every day and just started kindergarten this year.

(You ultimately caved on Dean’s idea to name him Robert, as in Robert Plant, lead singer of Led Zeppelin.)

Oh, yeah, and the “you and Benny” thing? That’s been going well for two years now.

What can you say? The man is persistent, but respectfully so. He’s considerate, reliable, and always calls you when work at the firehouse has him running late.

You haven’t yet invited him to move in with you. That part you’re still hesitant on, mostly because of your son, but Benny helps you drop off Robbie at school and makes breakfast for you all whenever he stays over your apartment. Benny takes an interest in your son’s life and keeps up with all his energy, taking him to the park to run himself ragged before dinner, and helping you tuck him in at night.

Benny is a bit closed off though, the strong stoic type. He’s hard for you to get a read on, and sometimes you wonder if he’s just indulging you when you ramble on about your day or make silly jokes. Even now, sometimes you withhold the first thought that comes to your mind, hoping he doesn’t think you immature or…too much.

But Benny shows his caring in all those little things he does for you. They add up into the big things, and he makes you feel supported. He makes you feel safe.

He even helps you plan your son’s fifth birthday. Robbie wanted to go all out on a dinosaur theme; he’s been hooked on Jurassic Park ever since Benny “accidentally” let him watch it with him on one of your rare nights out with your friends.

So you set up a little party at the park by your apartment. You managed to reserve the biggest gazebo, where there are three picnic tables covered with dinosaur plates, and tablecloths, streamers in different shades of green. You even bought a big dinosaur cake—also in a radioactive green color that you hadn’t been sure about, but your son talked you into. Robbie thinks it’s awesome.

He’s running around on the playground with a few of his friends from school. Their parents (along with Sam, Eileen, and Lisa) are talking amongst themselves at one of the picnic tables while you try to figure out how to get the Bluetooth speaker to connect with your phone.

“Haha! Got it. If you're so smart, Alexa, why don't you connect on the first try?” You fist-pump the air triumphantly, just as Benny comes to your side. He wraps an arm around your waist and kisses your cheek, making you smile.

“How’s it going out there?” you ask, nodding at the kids. Plus Dean, who’s gamely been the one to keep them entertained with different games. Right now, it’s a thrilling game of Cowboys and Outlaws, where Robbie and his friends are the cowboys, and Dean is the outlaw. He’s been hiding under the slide, behind trees and other playground fixtures, while the kids have little squirt guns to pelt him with water every time they find him.

It's pretty damn cute, and you’ve been taking pictures. You smile at the sight of Dean leaping out at Robbie and the kids, catching them off guard.

“You’ll never take me alive, Sheriff!” Dean declares.

“Oh, it’s goin’,” Benny remarks with an amused shake of his head. “Still hard to believe that guy’s about to make it to Lieutenant.”

“Hahaaa, gotcha!!” Dean cackles. He’s grabbed up Robbie and yanked him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Robbie screeches with laughter while his dad runs around the playground, being chased by a bunch of five-year-olds with squirt guns.

Your smile threatens to make your cheeks hurt. You know your life is…unconventional, to say the least, but Dean is a good father to your son. He’s also been working hard at his job. He just took the Lieutenant’s test, and even though Benny already occupies that position at Firehouse 83, a spot at another firehouse might open up for Dean to transfer.

“Part of me doesn’t want to,” Dean admitted to you last week, while he was working on fixing your stubborn, leaky sink. “All the guys there, they’re like family, you know?” “I understand,” you nodded. “You have to do what feels best for you, whether that’s staying where you feel comfortable, or moving up in your career somewhere else. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.” He took in your advice with a slow nod. “Yeah, thanks. Guess I have to time to think about it. Lisa had other ideas.” “Of course,” you said with a smile, but it soon dropped. “Why, what did she say?” “Do what I can to move up,” he sighed. “She’s got a point. That title comes with a pay bump, one I could really use right now.” “I get that. Totally valid,” you said. “But I just think it’s important for you to be happy with it too. Especially with what you do, helping people, saving people…I’d imagine being in the right mindset for all that is important, right? Who you work with can be just as important as the money stuff.” Dean considered you with a smile. “Yeah, exactly.”

As you think about it now, you have to admit that he’s grown up a lot.

Dean has to lean against a tree to catch his breath. Am I already getting too old for this crap?

Feels kind of young to have a stitch in his side after a few rounds with these kids, but even he has his limits. Lisa comes to bring him a bottle of ice-cold water, which he appreciates. He’s tempted to dump it over his head like he does after successfully neutralizing a fire. It gets literally hot as hell under that helmet and mask and all his gear underneath.

“Need an iron lung?” Lisa teases.

“Toss in a new pair of knees, thanks,” he wheezes. He downs half the water bottle in one go, but he smiles at seeing his son keep running around with his friends. He’s just got that manic kid energy that goes on for days. But Robbie’s also smart; like Dean, he likes taking things apart and putting them back together in new and ingenious ways.

Dean hopes his son likes the new model car set that’s waiting for him on the picnic table full of presents. In fact, he’s still surprised that you didn’t go with the race car theme he suggested for the party, but apparently, Robbie’s more into dinosaurs now. Dean wishes he knew that before he bought the model car set.

He looks over and catches sight of you and Benny wrapped up in each other. He has his arm around your waist while you fiddle with something, but the way you lean over and whisper near his ear elicits a smile on Benny’s face.

Dean’s good mood diminishes.

“Well, don’t they seem cozy,” he mutters.

Lisa arches a manicured brow. “Yeah, pretty sure he’s getting ready to propose.”

That earns Dean’s attention, his head swiveling back to her in surprise.

“Really?” he asks. “Who told you that?”

“His sister,” she replies. “Meg’s in my intermediate class, remember?”

Dean nods, sipping at his water, even though he’s a bit absent in the eyes. Lisa watches him shrewdly.

“Why do you seem upset about it?” she asks. “Benny’s your friend.”

“I know,” Dean says. He doesn’t need that reminder, or the guilty twinge. It’s not like he’s done anything wrong.

“And she seems happy,” Lisa points out. “Don’t you want the mother of your kid to be with a good man who treats her right?”

He nods, trying to hide his growing annoyance. “‘Course I do. I just…I don’t know. I still don’t see them together, I guess.”

“Well, they’ve been together for like, two years.”

Again, Dean nods his acknowledgement. It’s hard for him to believe that so much time has passed already. He honestly didn’t think you and Benny would be together this long. He’d always felt a little uncomfortable with one of his best friends dating you, but you’d seemed happy about it, so he didn’t discourage it. But he’d never been very supportive, either. At least, not about your relationship.

Lisa sighs and grabs his arm, pulling him aside before he can rejoin the party.

“Listen, we need to talk about something,” she says.

Dean restrains a tired groan. “Can this wait ‘til later?”

“I think we should do this now,” she says. A hallmark Lisa-ism. She’s opinionated and strong-willed, something Dean’s always respected about her. Sometimes though, the timing is damn irritating. He doesn’t want to get into another argument with his girlfriend in public, especially not at his son’s birthday party.

“Speaking of commitment,” she says with a sigh. “I think it’s fair to say that we’ve been on a five-year rollercoaster, you and I. You know why that is?”

“I’m sure you’re gonna tell me,” Dean says, crossing his arms.

“It’s because you’re spread too thin,” she says. “Between the firehouse, construction jobs on the side…not to mention other things.”

“What? What’re you talking about?”

Lisa’s lips purse, before she pointedly gestures over at you with her eyes. “Well, for example. You’re still going to her place after your next shift to fix her fridge, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, should be pretty simple. I’ve just gotta swing by the hardware store and grab this specialty tool I ordered—”

“Dean,” Lisa deadpans. “That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.”

She heaves a deep breath, running her fingers through her long brown hair.

“I get that navigating this situation hasn’t been easy for you,” she says. “It hasn’t exactly been easy for me either, but look.”

Lisa takes his hands in hers, uncrossing his arms. “I want to get married someday. I want kids too. And I want that kind of life with you…I’m just not sure you want it with me.”

Dean expels a heavy sigh. “Lis—”

“Don’t answer me right now,” she says, but she levels him with a serious look. “You need to decide though, Dean. Five years is long enough. You should know by now if you want to be with me.”

After letting go of his hands, she softens the edges of her words with a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then she turns to join the group now gathered around the picnic table where the food is, all the kids cheering for pizza and cake.

After the party, Sam, Eileen, Lisa, and Benny pack up their cars and yours with the leftover food, party supplies, and presents. Dean helps you clean up the trash, all while keeping an eye on Robbie getting out the last of his sugar-high on the playground swing.

You shake your head tiredly, if with a fond smile. “That kid’s gonna be up all night hype on that radioactive cake.”

Dean chuckles. “You want me to take him tonight?”

“It’s okay. I think he’s going to want to play with his toys,” you reply.

“Well, he could just as easily do that at my place,” he reasons.

You consider it, but you shake your head. “Yeah, but we got him the bike. He’s probably gonna want to try it out for a few minutes before we get him cleaned up.”

“By ‘we,’ you mean you and Benny,” Dean says, his tone becoming surly. “And about that. Don’t you think a bike is something you should run by me? That’s typically a ‘dad’ kind of gift.”

You pause what you’re doing at the sound of his tone. Your brows knit together.

“Sorry, but I feel like a bike isn’t exclusively a dad thing,” you say.

“My dad got me my first bike,” Dean replies. “Spent a whole three days teaching me how to ride.”

You take a minute to think about it. You understand where Dean’s coming from, so you nod.

“Okay, I get it. You want to be there to help teach Robbie? I’m sure he’d love that.” 

Dean tosses a wadded-up ball of frosting-covered napkins and stops, letting his hands fall to his sides in frustration. He draws closer and helps you untie the balloons from the picnic table.

“Yeah, I do, but that’s not the point,” he says. “Why can’t I take him home tonight?”

You blink up at him in confusion. “Well, like I said. The bike—”

“That I should’ve gotten for him,” he snaps. “Which, let me guess, Benny picked out. Right?”

You frown at him in earnest now. “Dean, why are you getting so upset about it? It’s just a bike.”

“Well you know what, it’s not! And it’s not just the damn bike either.” He swipes a hand over his face in annoyance, a telltale sign you’ve come to read well on the man. “Look, I’m missing too much shit, all right? Like, like the dinosaur thing! And the fact that I only get him on the weekends.”

You turn toward him, trying to put a cap on your own annoyance. This isn’t the first time you two have had a conversation like this. 

“We’ve gone over this before, Dean. Your schedule at the firehouse is just too unpredictable,” you say. “Robbie needs as much stability as possible between us. But…okay, if you want to take him tonight, that’s fine. We can bring the bike over to your place and show it to him there.”

You’re trying to be as reasonable as possible, and Dean knows that. Still, anger prickles just under his skin, and he can’t help but push his luck.

“You still should’ve asked be before you got the bike in the first place,” he argues.

Your brows raise high. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Look, it’s not like we bought him a Honda Civic. Honestly, Dean, why are you picking a fight with me right now?” you ask. “Did you and Lisa get into it again or something?”

Dean looks away and crosses his arms, giving you all the confirmation you need.

“Yeah, that’s right,” you nod. “I saw you two over there on the playground, looked pretty heated. But do me a favor. Don’t come at me with that energy, because I’m too damn tired of it!”

When you walk away from him, Dean can’t help but stare after you. He knows he fucked that up, just as he knows that you don’t deserve him snapping at you. He’s just too irritated to admit it.

For the entire week that follows, Dean finds himself distracted. He sticks to his word and helps Benny teach his son how to ride a bike in between their shifts at the firehouse, but Dean comes home each night feeling even more frustrated and drained than before. It’s too much, knowing Benny’s slowly but surely carving out a father-figure role in Robbie’s life.

These thoughts follow Dean to work, even while he climbs up the firetruck ladder in the rain. It’s parallel to a busted utility pole that still sparks with electricity, even in this torrential downpour. His task is to get up to the top and grab a large branch that’s tangled in the lines.

Rung after rung, he climbs. His safety mask protects his eyes from the rain, but he wishes they had some mini windshield wipers to keep his vision clear of the droplets pelting him in the face.

He also can’t help thinking of you. If Lisa’s right, then Benny’s about to become a more permanent fixture in Robbie’s life, and yours. 

Okay fine. It’s not like Dean expected you to be single forever, but did you really have to get with one of his best friends? Does it really have to be Benny, who seems so natural with Robbie, and more patient than Dean, and more of a support to you and Robbie than Dean can ever be?

And then there’s Lisa’s little ultimatum. He understands why she’s frustrated with him. Honestly, he’s surprised she’s stuck around this long. He knows she’s not going to wait too much longer for him to get his act together. For him to decide, as she put it.

It’s not that he’s not sure about her, it’s just that…

Just that what? he wonders.

He manages to grab the wily tree branch and maneuver it out of the power lines. 

He just doesn’t realize that his glove doesn’t have quite enough friction on the metal side panel of the ladder. Not only does his hand slip, but he’s forced to let go of the branch while he loses his balance. The branch falls to the sidewalk, far, far down below.

“Dean!” Benny shouts in alarm.

Luckily, the truck itself breaks Dean's fall.

Holding Robbie’s hand tightly in yours is the only thing keeping you steady as you lead him through the hospital. After the receptionist had checked you both in and gave you the room number, you hastened down the hall and up to the right floor. 2005.

Robbie breaks into tears when he finally gets to see his dad, laid up though he is in his hospital bed. Your throat tightens at the sight of Dean hooked up to all those monitors. He has his arm wrapped up and fitted into a sling. He has a thick piece of gauze taped to the side of his face, covering a wide, angry abrasion, but he seems to be resting easy on his back. The bed is at an incline, with most of the overhead lights turned off.

Robbie rushes to the bed before you can stop him. He hesitantly touches Dean’s non-injured right hand. “Daddy?”

“Robbie, wait,” you say, keeping your voice quiet. You quickly go over to the bedside and grab ahold of Robbie’s shoulders, but Dean takes a deep breath. His eyelids crack open.

“Hey, buddy,” he says, attempting a smile. His voice is rough and weak, but at least he’s awake.

Robbie’s lower lip wobbles as tears fill his eyes again.

“Come ‘ere,” Dean says, a little stronger. When he reaches out to his son, the kid hops up onto the bed and buries his face into his father’s chest. Dean holds him as securely as he can, soothing his hand over the boy’s hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“It’s okay, little man. ‘M okay,” he promises. Robbie nods, but he still continues to cry.

You can’t help but do the same. Tears slip down your cheeks without your consent. Dean beckons you over too, gesturing with his chin and a slight smile. You’re more tentative in the way you sit down at the edge of his bed. You run your fingers through Robbie’s light brown hair to help reassure him. Then, you meet Dean’s gaze and lay a hand on his good shoulder. You don’t know whether you’re steadying him, or yourself.

“How do you feel?” you ask. “The hospital called me. Benny told me what happened.”

The thought reminds you to text your boyfriend. You hadn’t had a chance to tell him you made it here yet. He must be downstairs grabbing a bite to eat, because he’s the one who rode with Dean in the ambulance and has been with him for a while.

“The hospital called you?” Dean notes in slight confusion.

“Eileen told me that Sam is in court right now, so I must’ve been next on the list,” you say. He also must have taken Lisa off his emergency list the last time they broke up for almost a month. He probably forgot to update it again.

You reach out a hand to almost touch the bandage by his temple. Instead, you hesitantly hold the side of his face to see the area better. Dean closes his eyes for a moment. You can see he’s in pain. Your hand lingers on his cheek, but you know, deep down, that it shouldn’t.

Dean doesn’t stop you though. He lets out a deep breath, savoring how nice the gentle touch feels when the rest of his body feels battered to hell.

“Fell off the ladder. Was a stupid rookie move,” he explains, but when he sees that look on your face, he tries to inject a little more joking into a smile. “S’ not so bad.”

“You could’ve broken your head as well as your arm,” you say, more sharply than you mean to.

Robbie whimpers and clings tighter to Dean. You cover your mouth, as if you can trap the words back inside. You don’t want to upset your son more than he already is, so you fall silent. Another tear works its way down your cheek, but you brush it away. Dean shakes his head.

“Hey, I’m okay,” he reassures you too. He manages to smile as he pats Robbie’s back. “Right, buddy?”

The boy’s head perks up. His eyes are still shiny, but he smiles too. He’s not one to speak when he’s upset though, so he just curls up against Dean’s chest and hangs onto him. Dean rests his good arm snugly around him.

You smile and stroke Robbie’s back. Though your hand lowers, resting on Dean’s hand. You take in a deep breath to calm yourself down. Dean’s fingers curl around yours, prompting you to glance up into his eyes. The way he’s watching you is soft, grateful.

Until the door creaks open. Benny steps in with a subtle clearing of his throat. You jolt internally, and you slip your hand away from Dean’s. You offer your boyfriend a wan smile.

“Hey,” you say.

“Hey, baby.” He comes over and greets you with a kiss to the side of your head. He smiles at your son gently. “The gang’s all here.”

“Oh! Let me call Sam, and Lisa too. They still don’t know what’s going on,” you say. You get up from the bed to grab your phone out of your purse. Dean nods in agreement and thanks you, while Robbie plays with his dad's long fingers.

“How you holdin’ up, brother?” Benny asks, after you step out of the room. He settles into the chair near the foot of the bed.

“Ah, you know me. I’m like a cat. Always stick the landing,” Dean says, smiling lazily. The morphine is starting to kick in again.

Benny smirks. “Maybe you do got nine lives, the amount of close calls you like gettin’ yourself into.”

Dean’s good humor fades. He considers his son in his arms, and he shakes his head.

“Yeah, well, no more,” he says. He got a taste of what it would be like to leave his boy behind, and he’s not fucking doing it. He’s not leaving you to raise Robbie by yourself. The mere idea tears a new hole in his heart.

His eyes sting just enough that he has to blink a bit harder, swallowing past a thick well of emotion in his throat. He presses another kiss to the top of Robbie’s head. Then, Dean meets Benny’s gaze.

“Thank you,” he says, and he means it.

Benny nods.

“You got it, brother.”

When Lisa steps off the hospital elevator on the second floor, you happen to be coming out of the bathroom to fix your racoon eyes. You’ve been crying way too much. You attempt to greet Lisa with something reassuring, but she cuts you off. 

“What happened, and why didn’t the hospital call me directly?” she asks.

Her tone is cutting, and it takes you aback.

“Well, Sam and I were listed as his emergency contacts—”

“Why?” she snaps. “You’re not his wife or his girlfriend. I should’ve been listed.”

Jesus Christ. At this point, you can’t help it. You’re too tired and emotionally drained to lasso in your temper with this woman.

“Maybe if you and Dean stayed together longer than five minutes at a time, he’d put you back on the short list,” you sling back. “But the truth is, you’ve never just…been there for Dean. Not without demanding something from him.”

Lisa scoffs incredulously. “Oh, that’s fucking rich coming from you. You’re the reason he can’t commit to anything. You think your little world is the only one that matters, and you call Dean for any little thing! What, don’t you have a boyfriend to help fix your goddamn sink?” 

You open your mouth to retort, but you pause as her words seep into your mind. She might actually have a small point about that one. You realize then just how often you’ve been asking Dean for his help, not just with your apartment, but with your car, and other logistical things that usually have to with Robbie. Dean’s just such a good handyman, and you thought he genuinely liked being able to help…even though Benny did mention once or twice that he’d be just as happy to help you.

“Lisa, this is a lot more than a leaky sink. I just wanted to get here with Robbie and make sure Dean was okay,” you try to explain.

“Good. I’m glad his son was the first person Dean got to see when he woke up,” Lisa says. “But I should’ve been the second.”

She brushes past you before you can even think of what to say. You’re in a state of shock, feeling guilty, incensed, and on the verge of tears all at once.

A familiar voice calls your name, and you turn to Benny just as those tears begin to fall. He gathers you up into his arms and holds you there in the middle of the hallway.

“She shouldn’t talk to you like that, no matter how high tensions are today. I’ll talk to Dean,” Benny says. You shake your head and bury your face in his chest, clenching your fingers in his red flannel shirt. 

“No, it’s okay,” you reply, despite the sob that shudders through you. You’ve lost the will to fight.

Benny shakes his head and presses a kiss to your forehead. “It ain’t okay, baby.”

“Please, don’t bother Dean with this. Especially not right now,” you say. You take a moment to wipe your eyes and get ahold of yourself. “I’m gonna go get Robbie so Dean can rest.”

You can’t shake the feeling that Lisa is right. You do rely on Dean too much. You just don’t want to think about why that is.

Dean makes a full recovery after a few months. He never does hear about what happened in that hallway, but he knows that things need to change. 

He decides to dig out his mom’s engagement ring from a locked box of his parents’ keepsakes, though he’s still waiting on the right time for it. He and Lisa start looking at houses though, for real this time. She hires a realtor and everything. 

He’s making a firm decision, and he thinks it’s the right one. He wants to be there for his son, but he doesn’t want to keep “spreading himself too thin.” He has to figure out how to set some roots, and some boundaries with you while he’s at it. He’ll just have to come to terms with the idea that he won’t get to be there for everything. 

He has to be okay with the fact that you’ll probably marry Benny. You’ll keep making him cookies and cakes, giving him your smile and your time and your body. And Robbie will probably think of Benny as more of a father than his own Weekend Dad. 

Meanwhile, you’ve spent the past few months keeping yourself in check as well. You’ve stopped calling Dean for help whenever something breaks down in your old-ass apartment. You try to keep your conversations less about life and troubles and whatever funny thing your students did that day in class, and more focused on Robbie–strictly about his schedule and his needs.

It’s kind of painful, if you’re honest with yourself. Sam will always be one of your closest friends from college, but in the past five years, Dean has truly become your best friend. Because you’ve told him things. The things that come from sharing a child with someone, like Sunday dinners with your parents, flipping through old yearbooks and childhood pictures—and the details of day-to-day schedules and little stupid things that happen in moments between moments.

Dean also knows the deep cuts. Like being pregnant and scared and breaking down crying on the side of the road. Like sharing the deepest well of your insecurities with someone who knows your body intimately, even if just for one amazing night...a night you’ve never quite been able to put out of your mind.

However, you know that things can’t stay the same. From now on, he just needs to be your son’s father. Nothing more, nothing less. 

So today, on a crisp April 24th, you’re getting ready for a highly anticipated evening with your boyfriend. Robbie is sleeping over your parents’ house, and Benny has been planning something special for your third-year anniversary. 

You slip into your new dress, a deep emerald green, with a pair of black heels you’ve rarely worn since before you got pregnant. Come to think of it, you were wearing these the night of Sam and Eileen’s bachelor-bachelorette party. The night you…well, the night Robbie was conceived. 

You shake your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. You even consider changing. 

You’re being silly, you shake your head. They’re just shoes. 

And yet. Thinking of that time so long ago, it reminds you of a recent Sunday dinner at your parents’ house.

Two Months Ago...

Your parents live modestly, but comfortably in rural Kansas. Their ranch-style home boasts a creek in the backyard, where your dad is teaching your son how to catch minnows. Your mom is inside working on an apple pie, knowing it’s both Dean’s and Robbie’s favorite.

You and Dean have kept close to the house under the shade, sitting on a bench made more comfortable by a pair of old polyester cushions with red, faded flowers.

“How much longer do you have to wear that?” you ask Dean. He glances down at his cast-covered left arm.

“Doc says it’s about ready to come off,” he says.

You nod, allowing yourself a certain smile. “How bad are you itching to grab my mom’s garden shears and cut it off right here?”

“Woman, don’t tempt me,” he says, his lips twitching at a grin. “I’ve been eying those overgrown scissors for the past half hour.”

You laugh and take another sip of your glass. Yours holds sweet tea, while Dean’s has some of your dad’s favorite whiskey. You both raise your heads when Robbie yells across the backyard.

“I caught a minnow!”

“Good job, buddy,” Dean grins. “See if you can catch a marlin!”

“A marlin?” Robbie questions.

“Yeah, like that orange guy in Finding Nemo,” Dean calls back.

Your dad gives Dean the same wry look you do, though yours is tinged with more amusement.

“Dean, that’s a clown fish,” you say. “He’s not gonna find that in the creek.”

“Aw, shit,” he tries to quiet his laugh. “Ah well, should keep him occupied for another twenty minutes.”

You bite your lip to stifle your laughter as well. Though something else occurs to you the longer you watch your son play and explore in the creek. Your dad has the patience of a saint as he puts yet another bait worm on the hook for the kid.

“He’s starting to ask questions, you know,” you tell Dean, in a quieter voice. “‘Why aren’t you and Daddy married? Why can’t we all live together?’”

Dean's brows raise. His good humor dims when he looks over at you.

“What do you tell him?” he asks.

You take in a deep breath, considering your words now as carefully as you did with your son.

“That we care about each other a lot, as friends,” you say, meeting Dean’s eyes. “And we love Robbie very much. Nothing’s going to change that, even if you and I aren’t together like a normal mom and dad.”

Saying it like that makes your heart twinge, for more than one reason. The way Dean’s mouth twitches into a rueful smile just makes it worse, but you try your best to ignore it.

“I never thought about having to explain it to him,” he says, rubbing a hand over his mouth.

It’s that anxious tell of his again. You notice every time he does it.

“I have,” you admit. “I just didn’t know for sure what I was going to say until it was coming out of my mouth.”

Dean smirks a little. “Yeah, that sounds like you.”

You roll your eyes and sip your drink, crossing your arms as well. Dean considers you then, looking at you in a way that makes you raise a brow in question.

“What?” you ask.

“Nothing, it’s just…” He sits back against the bench and rubs his hands down his jean-clad thighs. “For the record, I did try to ask you out once.”

“What?” you scoff incredulously. “No, you’ve been with Lisa since the beginning.”

“Before Lisa,” Dean says.

He isn’t joking. He isn’t teasing. He’s serious as he stares back at you with those green eyes of his. Your brows furrow as you wrack your brain. Did he drunkenly leave you a voicemail on one of those “off again” episodes between him and Lisa? No. You know you’d remember something like that.

“It was a few weeks after the bachelor party,” Dean says. “I called you up, remember?”

Your eyes widen. Finally, that jogs your memory.

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.” And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition.

You have to laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Dean, you did not ask me out,” you say. “You wanted to hook up. There’s a distinct difference.”

Dean frowns at you. “No, I was. I invited you over—”

“For essentially some Netflix and chill,” you retort.

“Hey, I offered to make you dinner,” he argues. “I didn’t say anything about hooking up.”

You pause at that. His earnest denial makes you actually think back to what you remember about that conversation on the phone.

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.” And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition. “I could make us some burgers, toss in a couple of beers and a movie night,” he adds.

You cover your lips with your fingers as you begin to realize…

“That was you asking me out?” you ask incredulously.

Dean’s brows furrow and he throws his hands up. “What? Who doesn’t like a little movie night?”

“Dean,” you huff another laugh. “You could’ve made it sound more like a date.”

“Well, ‘scuse me. Sorry I couldn’t afford the Ritz at the time,” he grumbles.

You sigh. “That’s not what I meant.”

The more you think about it, the more you just shake your head at yourself. Why did you have to overthink it, like you do everything?

“Wow,” you say, softer and more contrite. “I honestly never thought…”

“Yeah,” he says. He shifts his gaze out ahead.

You glance over at him, now more unsure of yourself. He wouldn’t have any regrets, you think. He has Lisa. As much as they go at it, they always inevitably get back together. And now you know they hired a realtor. They’re about to start making solid steps forward.

But Dean surprises you with another question.

“Do you think if…”

He doesn’t finish it, but you think you know what he’s asking. You hesitate, your fingers flexing around your glass that beads with condensation. You set the glass down beside you. 

Just as you open your mouth to reply—

“All right, pie is cooling and dinner is served!” your mom calls out. Her head pokes out of the sliding glass door to the backyard. You offer a smile, trying to hide how you jolted in your seat.

“Okay, thanks, Mom,” you nod.

You turn back to Dean, who also hesitates. His eyes meet yours, but all too soon, he locks the moment away.

Bracing his hands on his knees, he rocks to his feet and goes out to get Robbie and help your dad bring in the fishing gear.

You grab Dean’s whiskey along with your tea on your way back inside the house. You consider the amber liquid disturbed in his glass, and you down the rest yourself. The burn down your throat is a good distraction. If he asks about it, you’ll say you got the glasses confused.

You know you’ll have to leave that conversation unfinished at the foot of the bench.

Now...

Benny comes by your apartment and helps you into the passenger side of his pickup truck, like the gentleman he is. He takes you to a nice restaurant in downtown, much nicer than the usual sports bar or kid-friendly restaurant. You're very much looking forward to eating at a restaurant that doesn't feature chicken fingers or "kiddie" corn dogs.

“This is gonna be really expensive,” you whisper to him, after he hands his keys over to the valet. 

Benny squeezes your hand in his, leaning over to kiss your temple. 

“Don’t you worry about that. We both deserve a night out.” His blue eyes gleam with amusement. However, his gaze gentles, becoming more sincere. “You work hard, carin’ for everybody around you. How about you let me take care of you for once.”

Your eyes begin to water, your throat constricting with emotion. You rub his arm gratefully.

“Thank you,” you say. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that.” 

It’s always easy with Benny. Nice and simple and easy. Nice, supportive, and considerate.

Nice and safe.

That thought follows you while you and Benny walk into to the restaurant. He’s reserved great seats in the back corner, overlooking a beautiful courtyard. It’s decorated with hydrangeas and light wood dining tables, all framed with a rod iron archway as the sun begins to set just so. After holding your chair out for you before he sits himself, Benny orders a bottle of champagne to kick things off.

He turns to you with a somewhat nervous look in his eyes, like he's steeling himself. It’s uncharacteristic of Benny, who’s always so calm and charming and sure of himself. It makes a zing of anticipation run down your spine, and…a dash of fear. You don’t know why, and you don’t know how to beat the feeling down as you fidget in your seat.

He subtly clears his throat, then takes your hand. “Sweetheart, I know I’m not all that good at the words you’re supposed to say. But I can say that the past three years with you and Robbie, it’s come to mean the world to me.”

Your smile softens. He brushes his thumb over the back of your hand, encouraged by your reaction.

“So I think it’s time I made it clear where I stand, and how much I want to be the man in your life,” he says.

Your eyes begin to widen in shock, but not for the reason he thinks.

“Dean,” you gasp.

Benny’s expression slackens. “What?”

You point over his shoulder, and Benny turns to follow your line of vision. Dean and Lisa have just walked into the restaurant. They notice you pointing their way, and they both pause in surprise as well. Lisa is beautiful as usual in a slinky black dress, completely backless (something you feel you could never pull off, unless you had an invisible bra to keep the girls perked up).

Dean is…well, you’ve very rarely seen him in a suit, but charcoal gray works for him. The open collar and white buttoned-down works for him, as do the three top buttons he’s left undone, showing a tantalizing strip of tanned skin. He stares back at you like he forgot you live in the same time zone, let alone the same zip code.

“Uh, hey!” he casts out an awkward wave, before he makes his way over to you and Benny. Lisa is less than enthused.

“We shouldn’t interrupt their night,” you catch her whisper to him, but Dean doesn’t seem to hear her.

“What’s up, party people! Of all the gin joints in all the world, huh?” Dean says, a little too loudly when he thumps Benny on the back. Benny grunts, giving a bit of a forced chuckle.

“Dean,” he greets. “I think I told you about this particular gin joint. Good to see you can actually clean up once in a while.”

“Ah, you know what, this monkey suit ain’t too bad,” Dean says, pulling at his collar.

You smirk in amusement. “Yeah, I remember how much you complained about wearing a simple tie for Robbie’s Christmas pageant.”

He smirks down at you. “Hey, ties still might not be my thing, but nothing wrong with a sharp collar.”

He pops his for emphasis. You don’t know why it makes you laugh, but it does. Maybe it’s just his face and the silly, endearing expression he makes when he pouts his lips in a “blue steel.”

“So, is this just a night out, or you guys celebrating something special?” Dean asks, gesturing at the champagne bottle and your full glasses of bubbly.

Benny gives his friend a certain look. “Yeah, as a matter of fact. Today’s three years.”

He takes your hand and kisses your knuckles. You smile back at him, though you’re a bit self-conscious at the way both he and Dean, and even Lisa have their attention on you.

“We should let you guys get back to it then,” Lisa says.

Honestly, it’s a relief. You and Benny nod, wishing them a goodnight.

For some reason, you notice how Dean’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. But he goes with Lisa, laying a hand on the small of her back. You force yourself to tear your eyes away from them and refocus on Benny. You take up your champagne glass and raise it in offering.

“All right, where were we?” you ask, if with a nervous trill in your belly.

Benny smiles. He takes up his glass and clinks it with yours.

Lisa nearly sighs. She and Dean are back in line at the front of the restaurant, waiting to be seated. The second time she catches Dean glancing over at the table where you and Benny sit, she shakes her head and digs into her purse for the valet card. She’s done with this.

“I think maybe we should go to a different restaurant,” she says.

That finally earns Dean’s attention, mostly confused. “What, why?”

She just gives him a long look.

He realizes that whatever her reasons are, it’s easier to just give in than to fight her on it. He’s learning when to pick his battles. Or is he just giving up?

Also, if tonight’s “the night” he thinks it is for you and Benny, maybe he doesn’t want to stick around after all. Three years, huh?

“All right, fine. Let’s go,” he agrees.

Dean and Lisa wait for the valet to bring the Impala around. The minute he gets behind the wheel and turns the key into the ignition, she changes her mind.

“Look, let’s just go home,” she says. “I don’t really feel like eating out anymore.”

Dean’s brows raise. “What? Aw, come on. We’re already dressed and everything. You look great, Lis. Just tell me where you wanna eat.”

Lisa remains firm, with a small shake of her head. “Please, Dean, just take me home.”

After a moment of indecision, Dean sighs. He revs the ignition and does as she says.

It’s only a fifteen-minute drive back to their apartment, but in that stifling silence, it seems to drag on for a small eternity. He glances at her a couple of times. Lisa has her arms crossed as she stares out the window, watching the other restaurants and mom-and-pops shops and forest trees and old houses of Lebanon, Kansas go by.

Dean counts it a blessing when they’re finally home. He walks up the few short steps up to their ground-floor apartment and unlocks the door. He flicks on the lights inside, and she breezes past him to toss her purse onto the couch.

Dean takes off his blazer and begins to undo the buttons on his cuffs. He watches her all the while, knowing that a storm is brewing. She shucks off her heels and slowly paces the living room on bare feet, like her whirling thoughts are fueling every step.

“All right, I give. What’s going on?” Dean asks. “What’d I do this time?”

She pauses, with her back turned to him.

Shit, he thinks. He shouldn’t have said it like that.

He prepares for the inevitable blow up, but it never comes. Lisa just heaves a sigh. Slowly she turns, and Dean’s shocked and dismayed to see the tears welling up in her deep brown eyes. He makes quick strides toward her, but she raises a hand to keep him at bay.

“Dean, when you picture yourself happy, truly happy,” she says. “Is it with me? Can you imagine yourself marrying me? Buying the house, having kids, growing old together?”

If Dean was thrown for a loop before, he’s even more stunned by her question. “Lis…”

“Just be honest, for once,” she pleads. Her tears begin to brim over, but she blinks, somehow keeping them at bay.

It’s a bit too long before Dean realizes that he can’t give her an answer. At least, not the one he knows she wants to hear.

When he thinks of that picture in his mind, of course he sees his son. But the only other person Dean can imagine there beside him is…

“I…” He wills his mouth to work, but nothing else comes out.

The only face he can conjure is yours. Your eyes are warm and welcoming, your smile as bright and contagious as your laugh.

The only voice he can hear is yours, gentle and strong at the same time.

The only one he can see is you.

He knows the shampoo you use and the perfume you like to wear, how the sweet and floral scents mix together and linger in your hair and on your skin.

Even now he remembers the contours of your body, and how it could fit so well against his. He knows that you used to try and hide your shape under loose, baggy shirts and cargo pants that did nothing for you. He knows how much courage it took you to wear that red dress to his brother’s party, because you told him once, at one of those Sunday dinners at your parents’ house.

Come to think of it, there’s not a whole lot that Dean doesn’t know about you, except maybe what you see when you look at him.

“You love her,” Lisa finishes for him. “I think you always have.”

Dean’s throat tightens. Somehow he swallows anyway, and he shakes his head. 

“Lisa, I loved you.”

“Maybe you did, in your own way,” she says, laughing a little through her tears as she wipes them away. “But you already have a family, Dean. Go fight for it.” 

Dean doesn’t know what to say, but he knows what he can do.

He goes to her and kisses her cheek. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says. 

Lisa merely nods, wiping her face dry. She watches Dean Winchester walk out of her apartment, and out of her life for good this time. 

Dean calls your cell, but it goes to voicemail. He drives all the way back to the restaurant and doesn’t find you or Benny there. 

Dean realizes that what he’s doing, what he plans to do, is not fucking cool. He wouldn’t blame you or even Benny for being severely pissed when Dean shows up. He also knows that he can’t let another day pass where he keeps lying to you, and himself. 

He eventually finds you at home. What’s weird is that Benny’s truck isn’t in the driveway—just your car. He knocks on your door, and he waits.

He unconsciously holds his breath while he waits in that terrible existence of limbo. However, his heart thrums back to life when he hears your footsteps drawing closer to the door. Anticipation, excitement, dread, it all roils together inside him like a bad cocktail as the door swings open.

And he’s once again rendered a bit breathless at the sight of you in that dress. The color alone appeals to him, let alone the way it accentuates your every curve, from full breasts to the swell of your hips, the softer slope of your thighs, and bare toes painted. You’re fucking delectable, every curve, and a temptation without you even meaning to be. 

You’re just…you’re still so goddamn beautiful, like the night he first saw you. Even now, he can almost feel the give of your thighs under his hands, his fingers pressed to supple flesh. 

But then he’s drawn to your face, and your wide eyes full of surprise. Your mascara is a bit smudged though. Your eyes are red too, like you’ve been crying. His brows furrow in concern.

“Dean, what’re you doing here?” you ask.

“I need to talk to you, but uh…did something happen?” he asks. “You okay?”

You’re reluctant to tell him. Did Benny say something to upset you? Or was it something he did?

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say.

Instinctively, Dean knows it’s a lie.

“This isn’t a good time though,” you say, after clearing your throat. “Can we do this tomorrow, maybe?”

Dean leans a hand on the doorframe.

“Please, it’s important,” he says. His eyes implore you harder than his words. Please.

That does it. A sigh passes through your lips, but you let him in. He knows Robbie is with your parents for the night, which actually makes this easier.

Once he steps inside the apartment, Dean does notice that your bedroom door is open. Half the drawers to your dresser are open too, and empty. Certain frames that used to be on your coffee table are no longer there, like the one of you, Benny, and Robbie on a camping trip. 

“You want some coffee, or soda?” you ask. 

Dean declines and grasps your arm before you can busy yourself into “hostess” mode. He leads you to the couch, where you both sit down together.

“What happened tonight?” he asks. “Where’s Benny?”

Your lower lip wobbles, the beginning of your telltale cry face. Dean knows his son gets it from you, and it always breaks his heart. He squeezes your arm gently, trying to ground you.

“Benny proposed to me tonight,” you confess, taking in a sharp breath. “He proposed, and I couldn’t give him an answer.” 

You shake your head as the tears sting hot in your eyes. 

“He got so upset, he just—he left!” You throw your hands up. “But honestly, I don’t blame him.”

Dean tries to comfort you as you try and fail to wipe at your face. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, cupping your cheek to brush the tears away himself. 

“Why couldn’t you answer him?” he asks. 

You look up at Dean, and you finally notice the shine of hope in his eyes. Dean touches your cheek more tenderly. 

“Does it mean I have a chance here?” he asks.

Despite what your eyes tell you, you still gape at him in shock. “What? But…what about Lisa?”

“It’s over. For good this time,” Dean shakes his head. “I realized what I wanted for my life, and where my heart is…”

And he chuckles weakly. “Truth is, you’ve had it the whole time, sweetheart.”

You begin to crumble all over again. You pull away from him and his touch, because you can’t believe it. You cover your face with your hands, sniffling as you try to make sense of his words, his touch, and the warm flutter threatening to brim happiness in your heart.

“God, Dean. You can't just..."

"I mean it," he insists.

You're still reluctant to take him seriously...no matter how much you want to. It's a conflicting realization that hurts, and makes you feel stupid for taking so long to figure it out, and makes you hate yourself for hoping his words are true.

"Come the morning, you’re going to change your mind,” you reason, without looking at him. “Like you’ve done with Lisa a thousand times.”

“No,” Dean says firmly. He shifts closer and prompts you to look at him, really look at him.

“Not about this, and you know it,” he says, catching and holding your gaze. “That’s why you couldn’t say yes to Benny. Because you know what we’ve got. It’s the real deal.”

You still look uncertain, even though you can’t bring yourself to pull away this time. Dean has always had this way of looking into the very depths of you, like he can actually see every thought as it passes through your mind.  

“I should’ve said yes,” you say. “I can rely on Benny. I know he would stay by my side, and…and I know he won’t hurt me.”

Not like I’ve just hurt him, you think. Guilt still pricks at your heart. The last thing you ever wanted to do was lead him on, and yet, that’s what you’d done, wasn’t it? You thought you had loved him. You’re sure that you did, but maybe it just wasn’t the kind of love that could reach down deep and grab you, set your blood on fire, and make you ache when the burn was gone.

That spark licks across your skin when Dean takes your hands.  

“What if I want to be that guy for you,” he says.

You allow yourself to look at him. Really look at him.

You know Dean. When he gets an idea in his head, it inhabits every bone and shred of muscle in his body. There’s no mistaking his resolve, or the steady grip of his hands over yours.

“If you let me, I’ll stay. I won’t leave you,” he says. In his eyes, there’s a firm promise. “I can be the guy you rely on. The man you can trust. The man who’s gonna love you, come whatever. Because now I know what it means. I know how it feels.”

You bite your lower lip against the smile that wants to surface.

“Are you sure?” you ask.

Dean smiles for you. “If you wanna know the truth, I’m pretty sure I’ve been loving you since the day I heard Robbie’s heartbeat for the first time.” 

Your tears flow harder at that. A shaky breath escapes you, though it does nothing to steady you. Dean strokes your cheek gently with his thumb. 

“Please, just give me this one chance,” he asks. Begs, really. 

He doesn’t have to though. You nod, just a little. 

“Okay,” you agree. “Let’s try.”

Dean's smile spreads slow, but warm across his face. It’s your favorite kind, the kind that crinkles his eyes. 

He leans in and claims your lips with his own. The passion of it is familiar, but you don't think it’s the same as five years ago. Now, there’s an underlying note of tenderness in his touch and each new way he tastes you deeper. He holds nothing back this time, and neither do you. 

Your fingers tangle in his shirt, and then in his hair as you moan into his mouth. “Dean.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he answers against your lips, though he doesn’t give you much room to keep talking.

You haven’t heard him call you sweetheart in a long time. You feel your heart knitting back together, stitch by stitch. Tears sting in your eyes anew, but you squeeze your eyes shut against them.

“I…”

You can’t even continue the breathless thought. You hold his face desperately between your hands, pressing your forehead to his for a moment as you both catch your breath. But this man is like the sweetest, most seductive vice. Now that you’ve gotten another hit, you can’t resist. You no longer want to.

His arms wrap around you more securely, and he leans in to lure you back into his kiss. His tongue breaches past your lips to curl along yours with tantalizing strokes. His hands slowly move down your back and along your waist.

“Mmm, missed the hell outta this,” he groans into your mouth. Your heart flutters again at the way he holds you, the way his big hands squeeze you and feel you.

You let him guide you down onto the sofa cushions. He slots himself between your bare thighs and runs his hand up familiar smooth skin, bunching the skirt of your dress higher as he goes. He aims to get himself reacquainted with every soft part of you that welcomes him back.

For once, the gates around your hearts swing free. 

Dean never imagined that his own son would hand him the ring he gives to his wife, but today, it just feels like symmetry. He grins and winks at Robbie.

“Thanks, buddy,” Dean says.

His son’s beaming grin is wide and toothy, but the boy takes his job very seriously and delivers the other ring to you. You smile brightly and caress his cheek after you take the shining, white gold band from him. It matches the thinner band that Dean has for you; it'll soon join the engagement ring that once belonged to his mother.

Robbie had liked Benny a lot, but he loves his dad. He’s probably the happiest person in the room to see his parents take each other’s hands in front of the minister. 

Benny is understandably absent in the chapel today. You had met with him after that night of your botched anniversary to apologize to him, and so had Dean. Benny understood. He’d admitted that in the back of his mind, he feared this might happen.

“I wouldn’t blame you for being angry with me,” you said to him. “You can even hate me if you want.” Benny gave you a wry, melancholy sort of smile. “Part of me’s still mad at you, I won’t lie…but there’s no use in it. Not even hating you.”

Even though Benny bowed out, carrying his hurt and his grief on those broad shoulders, letting you go meant letting go of a friend too. He put in his paperwork to transfer out of Firehouse 83.

As he’d told Dean himself that day, and in fact, the last words Benny said to him…

“There you go, Lieutenant. A spot’s just opened up.”

Dean didn’t want to get promoted this way. He felt guilty enough as it was, and not just for Benny leaving the firehouse. Benny recommended Dean to the Chief himself though, saying that if they were going to give someone a Lieutenant’s badge, it may as well be the guy who got a perfect score on his test, and had the natural leadership skills to boot.

To the end, Benny was a gentleman.

Now, Sam beckons his nephew over. Robbie quickly goes to his uncle’s side and puffs his little chest out as he stands proud behind his dad. 

Dean is able to take you in, your beautiful white dress, and everything about you that makes him smile…including the way you smile back at him.

Man and wife is all he hears. It’s all he needs to hear, before he’s pulling you closer by your newly anointed hand. He dips you for a thorough kiss in front of all your family and friends. 

You squeal in surprise, making Dean smile hard enough for his cheeks to hurt. Giggling hard enough to make you tremble, you raise a hand to caress his cheek. But you give him another real kiss after he guides you back up to your feet.

“I love you,” you whisper against his lips. The words are just for him to hear. Dean pulls back enough to see the truth shining in your eyes. Beautiful.

“Can’t help it, right?” he teases. 

You smile in amusement, but you grab his chin and shake it. 

“You got me,” you reply. “I really, really can’t.”

Your beaming smile softens. Even though the entire room is clapping and hooting and hollering in celebration, in that moment, all you really see is Dean. 

Here in his arms, you know that this is where you were meant to end up. From now on, it’s where you’re meant to be.

AN: From Lisa and Benny to Robbie and everything in between. Dean and the reader certainly aren't perfect in this, but what do you think about how their story unfolded? I truly hope you guys enjoy this one, because I've had so much fun with it. 🥰❤️❤️‍🔥

So please let me know what you thought! 😘

⋆˙⟡ Keep Reading: The Epilogue

"Shall I stay? Would it be a sin, if I can't help falling in love with you?"

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[laursdomain]

Hi, I was wondering if you are thinking of doing the fw bf headcanon for Liam?

liam mairi as your boyfriend...

pairing: liam mairi x fem!reader

genre: fluff & smut

synopsis: sfw & nsfw boyfriend headcanons for our golden boy

warnings: nsfw, 18+, mdni, smut, yk the drill

ྀིliam mairi masterlist

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆

sfw 𐦍

Protector. We all know Liam is a natural protector, he protected Violet until his very last breath. Expect the same, but ten times more intense when it comes to you. Even though he always listens to Xaden, the minute you are endangered he is abandoning his post, doing whatever possible to help you. He knows you can handle yourself, which leads to him restraining himself during challenges until he feels like you need to tap out. He doesn't care how much it bothers you, he'll never let anyone or anything harm what's most important to him.

Acts of Service. Liam's love language is 100% acts of service, he loves doing such little things for you. His personal favorite is carving a wooden version of your dragon just because, a wooden statue of yourself and him on your anniversary, and don't forget the wooden flower he carved and painted when you were feeling down. Your personal favorite is when he does domestic acts of service, such as laying out your clothes for you before you get up for the day.

Kisses. Liam's kisses are always soft. He has this perfect gentleness to him, and his gentle kisses always leave you chasing his lips, demanding he gives you more. He kisses you with such love and adoration, as if you are his entire world and he wants to show that to you every time he kisses you.

Touch. Similar to his kisses, his touch is always gentle and soft. His hand on your waist or thigh is always gentle, like he's grounding you. His own way of telling you here's there. The way he gently caresses wherever his hand is reassures you in ways you cannot describe, his actions constantly grounding you no matter what situation you find yourself in.

Jealousy. Liam never gets jealous. Annoyed that someone has your attention that isn't him? That's what gets him. You know how he works to a T, and he knows exactly what game you are playing when you laugh a little too much at one of Ridoc's jokes, feeling your boyfriend tense at the unnecessary attention you give your squadmate. Rest assured, he makes sure you know your place later on.

Priority. According to Xaden, Violet is Liam's number one priority. According to Liam, you overrule that statement. You have a deep understanding on why Violet is practically guarded by Liam. In fact, you help guard her as well, especially in times when it makes sense for a woman to be there rather than a man. Though, you know the moment you need Liam, he's giving his position to Bodhi, Ridoc, or Sawyer as he rushes to your side. Even if you don't tell him you could use his presence or comfort, he simply knows. This man lives for you.

Cuddling. Liam is a human furnace. Literally. His favorite thing to do after a long day for either himself or you, or both, is dragging you to your shared room, and cuddling you for the rest of the day, promptly missing dinner and staying there until the following morning. Liam can't help it, your presence heals him in ways he can't explain. These moments are his favorite, laying in the solace of your room, hushed voices and giggles being heard from you as you recount your day to him. Even if no words are spoken, that is more than enough for Liam as he soaks up the feeling of your body against his, committing the feeling of your presence to memory.

Family. Liam is a family man, that much is known. He'll constantly tell you stories of Sloane, always reassuring you that she will love you. When you do meet Sloane, she is a little combative at first--it's in her nature. The minute she does warm up to you, starting seeing you like her future sister-in-law, it nearly makes you burst into tears. Liam is practically Xaden's brother, and even though Xaden doesn't show emotion to anyone but Violet, he approves of you. He protects you like he protects the marked ones, because to him--you are one of them.

𖤓 nsfw

Dominant. Liam is definitely the dominant one in the bedroom, but in comparison to Xaden and Garrick, he's always gentle with you. He takes his sweet time, making sure everything he does for you or with you is absolutely perfect. The way he handles you with such care yet still giving the perfect amount of pleasure shows how much he truly loves you, and isn't having sex with you just because he wants to. He's also the type of person to say he's making love to you.

Pillow princess. You best believe you are his pillow princess. He thrives to pleasure you. Even though you always try to return the favor after he gives you such an amazing orgasm with his fingers, he'll slap your hand away. "Let me do all the work, baby," he'll whisper into your ear, easing you onto your back as he kisses up your body, waiting for you to fully come down from your high.

Oral. While some of the other FW boys prefer tongue over fingers when it comes to giving oral, Liam is definitely a fingers guy. More specifically, he'll use his non-dominant hand, sinking his index and middle finger into your wet hole. The way you clench around those fingers and the sounds that come from your mouth could make him come on the spot, especially when it's his relic-clad fingers that make you reach multiple orgasms. He has become accustomed to the way everyone else views his rebellion relic with such disgust, but the way he is able to pull orgasm after orgasm from you with those fingers mesmerizes Liam in a way he doesn't fully understand--but he loves it too much to stop.

Praise. Liam is constantly praising you in the bedroom. Especially when you're being his pillow princess, he can't help but praise how good you're being for him while he pleasures you and only you. And on the few instances when you convince him to let you ride him, the only coherent sentences coming out of his mouth that aren't his own moans are "you look so beautiful, baby."

Positions. Liam is all about the moment, not what you're doing. As long as he can see you and look into your eyes as he thrusts into you, bringing you both to your intense orgasms, that's all that matters to him. He's always open to trying new things, especially the interesting positions that you come up with in your pretty little head--but as long as he can see your face, that's all that matters to Liam.

Marking. Liam loves marking you up. He's very much outward about his relationship with you, and never hesitates at finding a moment to make it abundantly clear to everyone in the quadrant. His favorite spot to mark you up is the sweet spot on your neck, your squadmates claim that mark refuses to go away--but what they don't know is that Liam remarks it every time it nearly fades. Aside from the spot on your neck, he loves biting your inner thighs before going down on you.

Jealousy. If Liam is jealous, he never lets that dictate how he pleases you. He'll still keep his same gentle demeanor, though his dirty talk will get more intense. You always love riling him up, knowing the words that'll come out of his mouth when you two are alone make it all worth it. Liam will sink his relic-clad fingers inside of you, never getting tired of the way you gasp around him, aching for this exact moment all day. Flashes of the way you laughed too much at Ridoc's jokes during breakfast resurfaces, thrusting his fingers deeper than usual, curling around your gummy walls. Louder moans come from your mouth, and your eyes instantly snap to Liam's when he sinks his teeth in your inner thigh, not breaking eye contact with you. "You're mine, sweetheart," he soothes over the mark with his tongue before continuing his ministrations, quickly bringing you to your orgasm.

Aftercare. Liam's aftercare is even gentler than when he's pleasuring you. Once you've both come, he'll stay inside you as he soothes down your hair, softly humming to you as he waits for you to fully come down from your high. "There's my girl," he'll murmur once you open your eyes, softly smiling at him. He'll gently remove himself from you, leaving soft kisses along your cheeks apologetically. He'll quickly get a wet rag, returning to you as he kneels on the floor, leaving a kiss on both your inner thighs where he had bitten you, taking great care in cleaning you up. Once he's satisfied with it, he's putting his shirt on you, pulling you into his arms as he hums a song to you, watching as you slowly drift off to sleep with a soft smile on your face. Once you're finally asleep, Liam allows himself to sleep as well, the last thing he sees before it's lights out is your beautiful face.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆

[n0rmal-cat]

Normal, normal, it's me, ✨

I'm here to submit a request bc it's been eating at me, and I know you'll do it justice.

You know VNs (visual novels), right? The basis being, multiple people get their own little versions to play with the same character(s), choosing different choices that line up with them irl, an immersive experience for different people, stay with me, ik I sound crazy,

Okay so imagine this, a VN MC keeps going through the story and understands his life is looping, he also understands that, like, the player character keeps picking different options every so often and he'll make comments on that. Like if the player picks different sweets as like their favorite treat, he'll make little comments on that like "oh this time it strawberry" or "you know last time it was..." "will it be something else time" stuff like that. So he basically sees the player as either someone with amnesia or like a system/DID

Anyways, the true idea is, a player starting up the game for like a 3rd time and getting all confused about how the MC is reacting to them, maybe he goes off course,

Yandere visual novel protagonist x reader

[WHY WOULD YOU INTRUST ME WITH THIS GOOD IDEA IDK WHAT IM DOING HALF THE TIME, SO SORRY ✨ I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED, BECAUSE I GOT A LITTLE CONFUSED, IF NOT ILL WRITE ANOTHER ONE😭💀]

[also yes his name is #### because most protagonists don’t get names]

It wasn’t like everyday was the same, no god had given him the luxury of letting him live a full life only to restart them over…and over…and over.

“So #### what will it be, you can either study with me or sneak out so you can go to the party or it’s the drop out”

He didn’t know how many times he had been asked that stupid question. If he study with his ‘best friend’ he gains enough knowledge to pass the next test with flying colours and impress them.

But if he went to the party they would gain a reputation with the ‘bad boy’ and impress them instead.

He didn’t want to do either, they honestly just wanted to stay in his dorm and sleep for the night.

“I don’t think-I’m sorry I think I’m going to go out tonight” what was that, that was his voice wasn’t it but he didn’t say that.

“Alright I see how it is, you go have fun”

“Wait hold on i didn’t say that!-“ before he could finish his sentence he were already in a different scene.

“No I didn’t want this!”

“#### I’m so glad you came. I promise this won’t be a waste of time” they swooped their hair.

“God you again?” For the past three times he had been hanging out and living their life with this guy.

“Sorry man I think I’m just going to go home” he didn’t like this guy and never had, but the universe just loved to put them together he guessed.

“Did I choose the wrong option? I don’t remember this dialogue?” They snapped their head to the sky. What was that, ‘who’ was that.

You, they saw you. His chest twisted, his stomach felt like it was clasping on itself. Who were you? And what were you?

God? Was that what you were, were you the one setting him on loop over and over again, but why?

“Maybe I should look up the guide again?…did the game freeze? No no no! My progress!”

Game? That’s what this was wasn’t it you weren’t god and they weren’t a person were they. They felt their world go dark, literally in fact as they stared into the empty void.

They clenched and unclenched their hand a couple of times “haha….hahahAHAHAHA” how could they have been so stupid. Of course it was a game but then if they weren’t alive what were they? And if they felt alive could they die?

The world booted itself up again to the ‘first day’. “Damn we’re gonna have to start over again I guess, fifteen endings to go”

Only fifteen? And then what you’ll just leave them, their world never to be opened again left and forgotten. They couldn’t have that not when your were the only real person they had ever met, they didn’t want to constantly fall in love with the same cardboard cutout anymore.

A prompt pop up, “oh no I wake up late, and for my first day at college to, should I have breakfast and risk being late to class or skip breakfast and risk being hungry the rest of the day”

“I guess we’ll skip breakfast, I want to get Raphael out of the anyway”

Is this what it felt like to be controlled by you, was everything he did up to you? Oh god they were having a crisis.

“I actually would like breakfast, kinda want to think about my life right now I also wouldn’t like to start collage for the third time today”

There was an unsettling silence “huh..”

“Can we talk about my life over breakfast actually” they poured themselves a bowl of cereal.

Their world turned black again but when it came back on they were in the same spot. “Stop I literally just want to talk”

“Oh my god this is not happening to me, I’m in a creepypasta aren’t I?”

“What’s a creepypasta?

They got no response back, “so why do you want to get endings of my life, and also why are all the endings to my life me getting with different people, is there a bad ending can I die, have I died and I just don’t remember?” They ate their cereal.

“I’m just gonna” they shut the game off it seemed, #### turned it back on themselves.

“That’s very rude you know”

“How did you do that?!”

“Don’t really know, I’d like to know a lot of things actually, and it would be a help if you answered them”

“Are you gonna haunt me?”

They look up at the sky looking at the face looking back at them in fear.

“Yea…if you don’t play my game every day and talk to me I will haunt you” that will definitely work.

“You sound unsure?”

“And…?”

Reader eventually caves in continues to play, it’s actually pretty fun he gives them tips on how to answer certain questions so they don’t even have to look up a guide anymore.

He also stopped complaining when they turn off his game console now, oh but don’t worry that’s just because he’s infected your phone with his code your stuck with him forever <3

He just wants to talk please, please talk to him.

[pixel art because he’s a game…it just fits]

[mediumgayitalian]

4 and 19 for the fic writer asks!!!!! <3

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

uhhh what havent i outlined and left hanging. lol. but i can tell you guys about the OTHER hades & persephone au i came up with??? i come up with a lot of things lol. and you can tell im in a mood. ACTUALLY NO ill share this really heinous and evil fic outline i have immediately post titan war:

- okay. - so. - after the battle of manhattan there were injured. there were their injured, dryad injured, and luke injured. - and the apollo cabin had been whittled down to one. - will was twelve years old. he had the making of a great healer but there was literally only so much his physical body could take — healing annabeth drained the verve from his body; by the time kronos was defeated will had done the same so many more times there was nothing left in his body. and even then he had to find more to give. - but there is a limit. - there comes a point in the days of recovery where will physically cannot move forward. he drops where he is, throwing up the nothing in his stomach, skin blistering. he’s close to death himself. he will recover, but he has nothing left to give. - chiron, as scared as he was at the start of the war, puts him to rest. he has no healers left. he cannot afford to lose this one: his youngest. - will is sick and delirious and GRIEVING, most of all, he is sick with it. every moment awake is spent sobbing, in pain and in misery. he catches chiron’s hand, half-coherent, as he wheels by; “Shrouds. The shrouds, where are the —” - chiron swallows and points him in the direction of a stack of folded fabric. it is white, and worn; light, oft-repaired linen, thin with use. - old bedsheets. - and will heaves. this cannot he how his siblings are sent away. so with the last of his strength and the light from the moon he drags himself off his bed, crawling to the stack; it is rough, and plain, and he imagines his bright, beautiful siblings shroud in it and cries. he can’t.

- but his hands are shaking. and he can’t see straight. and all he can find is a curved needle and sutures, and he does not know what to do. - so he prays. - he curls against the wood of the nurses station and beds hera, the homemaker, and hades, herder of the dead: he asks for strength, and skill, and the gods take pity on him. quietly strings of deep blue light and copper tendrils wrap around will’s arms, around his fingers. he picks up the needle and drags the first shroud off the pile, exhaling, mind numbing, and sews. the tendrils of light glow gentle and cooling, like faucet water, and for hours he sits, and embroiders. his hands move quickly and carefully and by the time the weeping sun rises again in the morning, nine shrouds line up end to end across the creaking wooden floorboards, stretching shining skies of blue, golden swirls of sunlight and clouds in thread as gold as the stars. chiron comes in exhausted himself and has to steady himself: will, half-conscious, fingers pricked and bleeding, work of the gods in his hands. - chiron gathers them. quietly. apollo’s children are wrapped with the utmost care, one after the other: when they are burned it smells of hyacinth, of laurels. will drags himself from his bed and watches from the door of the infirmary, sobbing.

- when the embers cool there is thread, among the coal. gold, like the sun, and black, like the ashes that remained. - later he sits with his friends. and they are complaining about the gods, about hera, who has ruined their lives. and will is quiet. and they ask, and he says, softer than sunrise: i will owe her as long as i live. as will i the lord of the dead. without their strength i would have had no dignity to send my siblings away. - anyways

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

jaunita's bar in nashville. for the road trip fic. it made me cry, actually. i am being so careful to be true to reality that it is kind of slowing my writing process. but thats okay. 

writing ask game

[mikeyisbrooklyn]

Truly this has been a PR nightmare from start to finish and I just have to talk to the PR team. Not the cast, not the crew. The people whose job it is to keep shit like this from happening.

Like, this all feels disjointed. Someone in the tags pointed out that it feels like the cast is operating with different assumptions and I absolutely agree.

Ryan has done nothing but joke about it. If the script fakes truly were a joke then that means JLH and OStark also joked about it but before it even aired? Only for OStark to then, as mentioned, post and then delete a seemingly serious goodbye post several times. Corrine, Elijah, and Anirudh are on their socials posting dancing videos on the same set as the/at the same time of filming the funeral. Angela has been nothing but serious and solemn, having previously said that she can’t imagine the show without Peter and openly stated her shock at the decision when finally told. Aisha edited her goodbye post twice, taking it from sentimental to clinical real quick. Kenny was dead to rights crashing out on the internet (literally told a commenter that no one was happy with the decision either and sympathized with people who said they wouldn’t watch anymore!!).

That last bit is the worst of it. You have one of your leads on the internet agreeing with people’s decision to check out of the show?? That alone is terrible for PR but paired with the frankly pathetically unaware musings of the showrunner (and an actor from the cancelled spin-off hello??) regarding Bobby’s death being a boon to the story and show overall?

Yeah, disjointed is the nicest way to put it.

PR where are you? Blink twice if you need help.

Okay, assuming the Alive Bobby script was a prank. So the chain of events was, Tim decided he was going to kill Bobby, filmed that, then wrote an episode to go in the middle, closed out downtown LA for half a Sunday afternoon for a procession they used 50 seconds of, allowed some dude to live stream the whole process to make sure the death of a beloved character leaked weeks before the episode aired, then gave Oliver Stark and Jennifer Love Hewitt half true/half fake scripts that they then leaked to introduce the idea that said character is actually alive, again weeks before the death aired, then Oliver Stark posted a story you could hear Peter's voice, then Kenneth Choi posted a video that contained Oliver filming that particular story to show us that Peter was in fact there, again enforcing the idea that Bobby is alive before his death even aired, then the episode aired and about a hundred different people said that they didn't want this to happen and it was fully Tim Minear's idea, everyone is posting crypticly vague goodbyes that range from edits of Bobby with a bow, Wrath of Khan references, and deleted emotional captions being replaced with stuff more vague and then Bobby's sendoff episode is not about Bobby or the grief of losing him and there are no interviews about it. This is not a prank, this is plain supervillain evil.

[theender36]

Lucky Day is such a bizarre mixed bag. We get to see Ruby trying and struggling to get on with her life and how she is a bit traumatized from the whole "I watched everyone who ever existed die" ordeal. And when she finally opens up about it, it gets used against her by a petty jackass who doesn't want to admit that the universe can be more than he thinks it is, to the point that he's trying to play the victim after shooting an unarmed man.

On the other hand, the secretive government military organization is made to be the victim. Like, I know UNIT generally are the good guys but not always (case in point, the Brigadier blowing up the Silurians because they were a potential threat even though the Doctor had gotten them to stand down). And given it's the same guy who wrote Kerblam, I don't think I have any good faith to place in an episode whose message that boils down to "government organizations have your best interests at heart so stop bothering them :("

But again, the commentary on how conspiracy grifters weaponize fear and are willing to throw their own supporters under the bus is very well done. It's interesting that Conrad hung on to the 50p that the Doctor gave him, literally keeping it close to his heart, but denies the Doctor's existence. I don't think this is a plot hole, I think he's so focused on doing whatever it takes to feed his ego that he ignores reality -- which is true of such grifters in real life.

I think parts of the episode are actually very smart like how Conrad's meet-cute-klutziness at the start is definitely an act. Or the way that he's so engaged with Ruby's description of the Shreek that we as the audience see his imagination following along with it until he pushes it all away and dismisses it as a story. Or that Jordan Lang is one of the people listening to the podcast, foreshadowing that he's helping Conrad.

We actually get a very vivid picture of how Conrad was an imaginative child but that imagination often manifested in telling lies. And when he saw something fantastic and impossible and tried to tell his mother about it, she smacked him and called him a liar. He held onto that for so long that he decided to stick with his other major trait, selfishness. The Doctor willingly offers him the coin but instead of just accepting it, he waits and then snatches it. He ends up wasting his imagination to fuel his selfishness because he wants to be Right and anyone who doesn't agree with him must Wrong and therefore Evil.

All-in-all, actually solid character work undercut by a weird government bootlicker vibe.

Oh also, Mel was in Sydney investigating something that I'm assuming will be related to The War Between Land And Sea

[shifterdera]

What's in my revolution dr bag

Hey, yeah, I decided to do this one too, for my revolution dr. This is how my bag is in the very beginning of the "story".

I'm just a poor 23-year-old mechanic there. I don't have much stuff and I'm moving between cities every now and then, running away from the government.

1. The bag

This is the bag. Yeah. What else should I say? It's a good massager bag with much space.

2. Food

Food is a very important part of my life, especially the sweets (Yeah, I got a sweet tooth). That's the reason why there are many foods in my bag.

★Water. I think I don't have to explain that. Water is always needed,. especially with my type of work (I'm a mechanic there).

★Gum. I am in love with gum, you just go around, chewing on it and if it's a good gum, then it even holds its taste for a long time. This one in my bag is especially good, it has a long lasting flavour, I ADORE that.

★Tic-tac. Even two packs. They are really good, the mint ones the best.

★Chupa chups. Yes.

3. Hobbies

★My notebook. I love writing stories, even tho I don't do it much. But the notebook still lays around in my bag (It will have a big role in the future, when I will be bonding with a character. He is a damn book worm and will (literally) kill you for a good book. I love Kawinski, he is a silly guy)

★The pen. It just comes with the notebook, I have to write with something, right?

★My MP3-player. I live music, I can't live without. One day without Lady Gaga, And One or ABBA - and I'm dead.

4. Money

★Self explaining. All my money comes with me.

5. Medical

★Plasters. Yeah, with beeing a mechanic this shit is needed almost on a daily basis (jk, not that often, but still needed.)

★Bandaids. The same as the plasters.

★Scissors. For the bandaids and nails.

★Antiseptic. For the cuts and wounds, so that I don't get an infection (I hate infection, I automatically start scratching on them and they never heal because of that)

6. Self care

★Lipstick for my dry ass lips. I always lick them and bite them and that's why they look... Well, bad.

★Nail polisher or how the fuck is this thing called. I can't even remember :")

★Deodorant. Yeah, a male one. Cause they 1. Cost less then the female one (I don't know why and wtf, but sadly that's true) and 2. They just smell better. I don't really love the floral smell. (That's a funny thing to say, cause I've never really experienced it? I mean, I can't tell apart different scents. O can tell when the "scent" of the air changes to something else, but I can't tell them apart. If they are too week - I don't feel them at all.) But yes, I innerly don't really like the floral scent :D

7. Things, that I hope Tumblr won't mark this post as "possibly mature content" for

★Cigarettes. REMEMBER, KIDS, DO NOT SMOKE, THIS WILL LEAD TO HEALTH PROBLEMS AND SERIOUS ADDICTIONS!!!!!!!!!!! But, yes I do smoke and I carry the pack around with me.

★A lighter. A really badass one. And very useful.

★A combat knife. For many reasons. It can be really useful in my everyday life. Moreover I need it for self-defence (Yeah, I am running away from the damn government, tho I don't really think it will help if they finally track me (spoiler: it won't))

8. Practical things

★Hair ties. Although I have really short hair, it is still long enough to bind it with a hair tie so that it doesn't fall into my face.

★A flashlight. Is just practical and I carry it around for the black days.

★An umbrella. Yeah, is practical. I don't want to get wet in the rain

Yeah, I think that's all! I don't really have much in my bag, like I said, I'm just a poor mechanic and I move through cities to not get tracked down by the government. Maybe I'll tell in another post more about this reality, but that's all for now!

Forever yours,

Dera

[annabelle--cane]

hokay, just finished bingeing through the first season of murray mysteries, here are my #thoughts:

-> moving the narrative chunks around and starting with the equivalent of mina's journal without jonathan's castle segment does really interesting things to the mystery and the release of information. even though I obviously know what's going on it feels like I only have the same amount of information as mina so the events are a lot more unnerving, particularly the part where mina sees lucy being fed on by dracula. it feels intensely What The Fuck Is Happening Right Now.

-> this is pretty clearly a first-time passion project so the production values vary, I'm not going to hold that against it, and sometimes that marries extremely well with the frame of this being mina's low-key personal show. she and lucy have both the most convincing performances and the most convincing relationship, they feel like two friends just chatting about whatever in their own home, and that lack of polish makes me buy into the idea that these are real people which then makes it a lot more emotionally intense when they start to go through the horrors. nail-biting trembling sitting there with my headphones on thinking "noooo that's her actual friend who's dying someone call her noooooooo."

-> I'm good with most of the adaptational modernizing choices but I do think it was a misstep to remove the transfusions from the suitors and van helsing. I get that it would have been difficult to finagle that in a modern setting where doing an impromptu vein to vein transfusion of blood in someone's bedroom when 999 calls and ambulances exist is completely insane, but I think it would have been worth it to somehow work it in. this is a vampire story, exchanges of blood are kind of important.

-> the in-universe podcast format is doing unimaginable things to the energy of this narrative. at first I was like "even with redacting the name, mina and seward publicly sharing seward's patient notes for renfield online in an entertainment context is a bit much 😬" but I was a fool. I had not yet understood the insanity of these people when elevated to the status of podcast characters. lucy records and posts all her emergency doctor's appointments. lucy ends her testament with "please never let art listen to this, it would be too upsetting" and seward posts it. mina can't get in touch with lucy (because she's mcfreaking dead) so instead posts an open letter (voicemail) to her podcast feed without listening to any of the episodes her friends have uploaded while she's been away. they post the recording of lucy's literal actual death. mina listen's to jonathan's audio diary of his captivity and torment at castle dracula and without even consulting him her first thought it "I must post this for my followers."

-> of course van helsing's american. if van helsing needed to be from anywhere other than the netherlands it would have to be america. she's giving pure american nonsense.

[princessaffirms]

“can i manifest ___?” YES, and here’s why 💐✨

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

hi angels! ₊˚⊹♡ this is, without a doubt, one of the most frequently asked questions in my inbox right now. and the answer is always the same: YES. you can manifest whatever you want, because it’s literally UNIVERSAL LAW (law of assumption). let’s dive a bit deeper!

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🤍✨ you can manifest ANYTHING you desire. there are NO LIMITS.

the universe doesn’t separate “easy” from “hard,” or “realistic” from “unrealistic.”

that’s an assumption thing. that’s a limiting belief thing.

manifesting isn’t about whether something is “possible” or “difficult”. it’s about what you ASSUME to be NORMAL and possible for you.

so whether it’s:

love

money

a new face

fame

success

clear skin

shifting to a different reality

etc…

the answer is always: YES. YOU CAN MANIFEST IT!!

if you can assume it into existence in your 4D (inner world/reality/mind), it can reflect in your 3d (physical reality).

so basically: if you can IMAGINE it, you can EXPERIENCE it

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🤍✨ the only question that matters is:

are you still defending your limiting beliefs? are you still checking for evidence in the 3D? because YOU are the OPERANT power.

and your assumptions? they’re EVERYTHING. because that’s all that truly exists.

your 3D is just a reflection — a mirror of your 4D. when you shift realities (because manifestation is just shifting to/CHOOSING the reality where you have your desire), you’re not forcing anything. you’re simply PROJECTING your 4D (your inner world, your assumptions, your chosen identity) into the 3D.

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🤍✨ but WHY exactly is there no limit?

because the only true “limit” is the one you’ve assumed into existence.

if you assume it’s not possible, it won’t be. not because it can’t be, but because you said so.

your 4D = your consciousness, awareness, self-concept, assumptions, beliefs, identity. and whatever is held there as truth, MUST echo out into the 3D. it’s inevitable. IT’S LAW.

and here’s the best part: your 4D is LIMITLESS. it’s your soul’s sandbox!!

it exists on a spiritual plane that can’t be measured, timed, or constrained by 3D laws.

science can study the projection (the 3D echo), but not the source. and YOU are the source. your soul, your consciousness, your awareness, your “I AM” is what shapes and shifts realities.

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🤍✨ so if you’re trying to “SEE it to BELIEVE it,” FLIP it:

you must ASSUME it to SEE it.

because your 4D creates, and your 3D follows. it has no choice but to reflect YOU. give yourself the evidence internally, and it’ll reflect externally. every. single. time. you don’t necessarily have to be super euphoric every single time you affirm, you just have to PERSIST relentlessly in those affirmations.

because with repetition and persistence, your affirmations BECOME assumptions. and when i say repetition, i don’t necessarily mean think about your affirmations 24/7. but when you do think of your desire, choose to fill your mind with your affirmations instead of “what ifs”.

consistently CHOOSE your desired reality. release the old story and stop identifying with a reality/timeline that you don’t want. every thought is a decision. a choice. it’s the root of everything. every action starts with a thought: conscious or unconscious. so you ALWAYS have a choice. are you going to reaffirm the old story, or step into your desired reality? 🫶 the power is in YOUR hands. all you have to do is CHOOSE it.

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🔗✨ RELEVANT BLOGS I’VE WRITTEN THAT I SUGGEST CHECKING OUT:

⤷ shifting is EFFORTLESS — and you’ve been doing it all along 🪸✨

⤷ the REAL YOU is your SOUL — and that’s what SHIFTS realities 🌌✨

⤷ DON’T WAIT for external proof — CREATE the evidence. ⚡️✨

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

i hope this helped you realize your true power and limitless nature! as always, my inbox is open if you have any more questions or just want to chat! i respond much faster to asks than DMs 🤍

sending so much love and light <3