#but it's fucking bad. and the least we can do is try to correct ourselves and remember that this is a word taken from another language

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I don't usually give a crap about grammar but I DO think it's important to try to show the bare minimum of thoughtfulness and respect when using words from languages that are from marginalized ethnic groups or often appropriated from in your own culture, especially when those words are often misused in harmful ways.

[orcboxer]

Okay let me try this one again. The Trolley Problem sets up a scenario that sucks to be in. You either kill one guy, or you kill five guys. Nobody likes these options. We all don't want this be happening. That's kind of the point. It's a moral quandary. It's supposed to feel bad.

Now, according to a recent post floating around on tumblr, choosing either of the two options demonstrates "learned helplessness" and makes you a neolib sheep. The only correct answer, the post states, is to reject the question altogether. (Or to change the parameters of the question to include an option that saves everyone, thus eliminating the moral quandary.)

It sounds nice, doesn't it? Fuck this bad situation, we control our imaginations, so let's imagine a situation that doesn't suck. Hah! Bet you didn't think of that!

Here's the problem. Even though I think most situations generally have at least one solution that is both Feasible and Not Terrible, I have to admit that there are some situations (as in, not zero of them) where all the feasible options are unpleasant. This is a natural consequence of living in a world where A Lot Of Things Suck.

But if shitty situations do exist, even if it's super super rare, then it's not unreasonable to ask, "How should we make decisions when we find ourselves in a shitty situation?"

This is the beginning premise of the Trolley Problem. It says, "Hey what if you were in an unambiguously shitty situation? There are many shitty situations, so let's imagine one that is contrived enough to get everyone on the same page regardless of political affiliation, AND really emphasizes the key parts that I want to discuss."

Tumblr says "let me stop you right there. What if instead...we imagined a different scenario that wasn't as shitty?"

Well, okay, but then we're not talking about the same thing anymore. That doesn't actually count as an answer to the problem, you're just changing the subject to a completely different thing.

Tumblr goes on to say, "Exactly. That's the only thing you should ever do when confronted with an ethical quandary. Frankly the fact that you are willing to even consider a scenario that sucks suggests that you are fundamentally incapable of considering less shitty scenarios."

I just want to say I think that's bullshit. I don't think every problem is a trolley problem, but I do think that some problems are a trolley problem. And I think that those problems are worth discussing, even though they don't feel good. The trolley problem exists as a framework to discuss those problems.

Maybe our aversion to difficult decisions has an impact on our ethical reasoning, and maybe we should actually question how our ethical standards hold up under the weight of that aversion. So maybe moral quandaries like the trolley problem are worth discussing. And if you don't want to engage with the quandary, then don't - you don't have to concoct a whole essay about how the quandary is inherently morally bad.

It's possible that what you really want to say is that it sucks when people treat certain situations as trolley problems, when those specific situations actually do contain unambiguously feasible and unambiguously perfect solutions. I would agree with that.

But like. Let's not pretend that you can reduce all of ethics down to unchallenging black and white moralism.

[ceoandslutler]

going into the anti sebaciel tag to block people and laughing at how the sebaciel tag has new posts almost daily and the anti sebaciel tag gets update like once a week 😭

These bitches wouldn’t have this fandom if it wasn’t for us don’t lie

and you know those bums are recycling posts. atp all you see in that dead ass tag is shit like,,, 1) editor k said this (xyz years ago) and 2) j michael tatum (who isn't even involved in the manga's creation) said that, or 3) the most desperate dadbastian delusion posts ever*... ok then, antisebaciels, explain why every time i turn the page i see sebastian and ciel giving each other the "we're gonna assfuck soon" stare. and the source material is much more valuable than word of mouth so what now? they have NOTHING to post about to defend their position except the same irrelevant stuff.

*not to be a dadbastian hater (i gen do not care how you see them), i have talked about this before but they just twist canon so bad sometimes that it's comical

just in the recent chapters where sbcl reappeared after eons, yana just drew them flirting all shoujo style (211), ogling each other/eye-fucking (212) and had them ask each other out- ciel gets sebs tea (212) and sebs talks about all the tourist attractions brighton has trying to get ciel to go (213)... what do they even have to post about anymore? like we keep winning it's insane 😭

we have so much to talk about, that's why we can keep filling the tag. also we have SO many talented creators: artists and writers and editors and all of those talented people culminate into a melting pot of creativity and passion which has kept this ship and in extension this fandom alive.

this is a good time to remind ourselves that antis are reactionaries and most reactionaries do not create, they attack pre-existing content and that's why they don't have a lot of content in the anti-sebaciel tag which only exists to go against an established concept.

(and when they do create, it is bland, sanitised (or at least advertised as such) and presented as more morally correct to consume. anti content is limited and avoids anything that deviates from the norms. who really wants to go read some fanfic author patting themself in the back about how good they are?)

[eulchu]

ok guys. let's have a real talk. let's ALL have a real talk and i don't mean just me and my anons . i hope this reaches all of our community even if you think i fucking suck.

fucking october didn't ruin us but i am so worried that this dumb tension just might. this is getting so ridiculous and out of hand -i barely understand what's going on myself. so im gonna need everyone to work together and do a collective reflection exercise.

i am gonna write out a series of points that i need u guys to think about before proceeding in this community:

- active blogs. you're burnt out. you're burnt out and you're so tired of trying to keep this community running that you're denying yourself a moment to feel your own frustrations as your own individual person. i get that . i get being under so much pressure that you can't catch yourself some slack, least you spiral out of control <- this is, however, really damn unhealthy 😭 it's ok to let yourself feel some disappointment!! some anger!! that's fine. it's up to you, however, what you do with it. this brings us to our next point.

- we NEED to acknowledge this if we wanna get better. ifl it's taboo and we're pushing the narrative so hard we're not giving ourselves enough space to breathe. it. is. okay. to. feel. disappointed. over. the. lack. of. dteam. content. i am the first person to shut down any self entilted prick who thinks they can expect something out of them. because they DON'T owe us anything. but truth is we are humans and, accordingly so, feel in consequence of our own expectations. i wanna break this part down in a few points:

it is OKAY to acknowledge that we are disappointed. denying one self's feelings never ended up ok for anyone. it is okay to acknowledge that we are not getting the content we were hoping for.

it is NOT okay to blame the dteam for it. this is where it gets tricky. the dteam are in charge of what type of content they put out. it will never be in our hands. at that point, if you don't like what they're doing. leave. i'm sorry. it's harsh. i'm not trying to be mean about it. i'd understand if you left! it's ok!

- before you leave, though, i want to ask you a question. why do dislike what they're doing so much? seriously, ask yourself that question. is the content that bad, in your eyes? if the answer is yes, i can't help you there. you've grown out of their content. there's no way around it.

- but is it actually bad, or is it just Not What You Expected? In which case, let's talk. Let's put things bluntly:

the dteam have waited years to be together. correct

upon living together, we have discovered that they are not very good at providing content because they put their friendship above content. i'm not sure if anyone had that in their bingo cards - but it's what happened. autumn was really rough on them & they've learnt to exist together off camera. me personally, i think it's sweet.

dteam and traveling: a fall out? :o . no. jesus christ 😭 the fact that this is the new narrative nauseates me. i don't think anyone in their right mind thinks that dteam are less close than they were when they were living apart.

Bringing back our initial point, the failure to meet our expectations can be mentally challenging. it will inevitably make us second guess a lot of associated ideas that we thought were true . if one of our expectations fails to be met, that's a fail in our mental plan. if we were wrong about this, who's to say we are right about anything else?

i'm not sure if there's some sort of denial of feelings here or if people are trying really hard not to think about this possibility because it makes them scared. i am inviting you to take a moment to really think about it and feel the initial dread of the question. it will pass fairly quickly.

the truth is that the dteam is FINE. they're fine, they share a house, they film videos together, and they go on these long ass hiatus when they're together because they would much rather spend uncesored time off-line.

my favorite point: for how parasocial we are, we don't give them nearly enough credit. the dteam are adult men. we have to put faith in their decisions. only they know what they're doing. they know what's best for them. we certainly don't.

- i wanna rescue this last point. their decisions are THEIRS. if we don't put trust in what they're doing, we're already failing the game. that means who they hang out with too. i get not liking someone ok? i get it. i don't like a lot of people either. no one is pointing a gun to any of their heads. if you think that any of them is doing something that you don't see fit you have problems and you need to grow up. it is not our place to dictate their lives and it will never be. that goes for the white-knighting too.

⚠️(this is a completely hypothetical scenario)⚠️

the truth is if tomorrow george decides to go back to the uk, for whatever reason. we would all have to fucking shut it. fan disappointment? yes. acting like george is an awful person for betraying his best friends? you're out of your fucking mind.

dream george and sapnap are grown up people with a strong friendship and communication skills. if you think that george would take the unilateral decision and not tell anyone until the day before you need to seek help. whatever decision the dteam take about their lives it's THEIRS and you need to put some fawking faith in what they're doing. they know what's up.

that goes for the fucking karl problem too okay? i don't like it either. whatever. it's not my place though?? dream isn't a baby who's been abandoned he's a grown ass man who knows what he's doing and if he still considers (if they ALL do) karl his friend that's his decision. if he thinks that karl's friendship management is fine that's his decision. we are not dream's friends nor his fucking therapist.

- the thing about dooming and content. the multishippers: is the dteam all there really is? i firmly believe that we all kove the dteam outside of each other. (mostly tackled in this post)

- dnf and the fandom. jesus christ i can't believe i have to make a point about this. i think it's important to remember that at the end of the day. it's just Not That Serious. it was never meant to be that serious. bringing back the "they're their own people" point, what the Fuck do some people think they're doing 🧍‍♂️

dnf know what they're doing they know the nature of their relationship better than we ever will. if they're just friends it's because they chose to if they . in the biggest plot of the century . come out of this with a s/o it doesn't mean they're cheating on each other, that dream/george was leading anyone on or that they're hurting each other???? are you CRAZY 😭 if they're dating they're dating if they're not they're fucking not but they're. not gonna be sad about it??? they're adult people in an adult relationship they know what tf they're doing. they hold each other's hearts impossibility close to themselves. there's nothing they would ever do that could hurt each other.

to wrap things up: after this reddit worthy post (congrats if you've made it to the end) i have something very important to ask of you guys.

i know it might be unfair but can we all compromise on detoxxing. completely. for like, a week. not posting neg at ALL. we can't enable doomers we can't enable bait anons. neg is only good for one thing: make anxious people paranoid as fuck.

so can we. for like a week. just not post anything /neg at all. can we block the worst of it. the unnecessary dooming. and not acknowledge at ALL. i get it's a huge mental toll on the active blogs - reading so much negativity SUCKS but i do believe that it's a better option than responding and enabling more people to send similar asks.

me personally, i am already saying it here: any dooming will get blocked in my askbox. i won't hate you for it. but this IS a warning that you need to get your shit together if you ever wanna have a chance at speaking in my askbox ever again.

um congrats if you read everything?😭 PLEAAAASE let's all make this place a better place again i know we can do it

U CAN ADD TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BTW !!!

[fierceawakening]

@ante--meridiem you’re making sense to me.

I often will use the term “shitty person” over “bad person” (“Wooooow, Mitch McConnell is a shitty person. I knew he was right wing but wow, he really did go above and beyond to not work with Obama and then fold to Trump.”) for the reason you give. I don’t know why it is, but “bad person” sounds more like it might mean “born evil,” where “shitty person” for some reason has more of a connotation that you could’ve been something else and you Just Kept Going.

I just feel like tabooing “bad person” can and sometimes does have the side effect of shaming traumatized people for expressing justified anger without caveats. (When, at least from my own experience, we’re *often* scrupulosity spiraling about whether or not they knew better, as one very common coping mechanism for us is to decide that our abusers must be correct that what they do IS really our fault. If we rely on them for housing and food, it’s a lot easier to think to ourselves “I must’ve set them off. I can do better next time and then they’ll feed me” than to acknowledge “They’re capricious. I might not get fed, just because that’s how they are.”)

So to me, we need at least to be forgiving of that phrasing, because someone may be just beginning to try out the idea that they didn’t deserve what happened at all. In my experience what helps someone in that particular circumstance is to be told by their support system “no, you don’t need to take that back. You’re not angry because you’re ungrateful or judgmental. You’re anger because that was, full stop no question about it, straight up trufax just wrong.”

Or they might even be me, who is used enough to the idea that I’m angry and it’s okay to fucking CALL MYSELF FIERCE AWAKENING, but who still falls into patterns of “I’m so judgy! I deserve to have bad things happen to me because I can’t stop judging other people!” and therefore really wishes people would choose a different hill to die on.

The other thing is… I don’t know if it’s right to say we Disagree on judging yourself. Like, yeah, thinking “I am a bad person” is destructive, and is usually repetition of something someone who traumatized you told you.

But there’s a different thing, where you look at yourself and ask “am I living in accordance with my values? When faced with hard decisions, do I choose the thing that reflects the character I want to cultivate, even if I’m scared?”

Which I think is broadly what you mean when you say “don’t think of yourself as a good person, as you might forget there are things you still need to fix.”

Like I’m pretty sure that if I told myself straight up I’m not a good person, my brain would take that to mean I should commit suicide, as that sounds weirdly unfixable.

But “do my choices reflect my aspirations? Do I have work to do?” Doesn’t do the same thing.

And that’s I think why I get so frustrated with tumblr’s way of talking sometimes. Like there seem to me to be a lot of people who say things like “I’m a narcissist; what were you expecting from me? You shouldn’t think I’ll give you that weird empathy thing. But if you reject me because I didn’t, that’s ableism.”

And I’m just “dude, you can’t have it both ways!

“If you’re telling me the way you act is fixed because of your neurotype, then I’m justified in telling you I and others need to keep our distance because your pattern of behavior is highly likely to stay the same.

“If you’re telling me I can’t assume because of your label that you act the way the diagnostic criteria say someone with the label acts, then you don’t get to tell me I’m being ableist and demanding the impossible when I ask you to show empathy through your actions.”

[ashirisu]

They haven’t even finished counting all the votes and leftists are already pointing fingers at each other over who is more to blame for this monumental fuck-up.

And I’m so tired. I’m so, so tired, because this keeps happening and we never fucking learn. Part of it is because each election cycle brings four years’ worth of brand-new voters who are convinced that past generations just didn’t do things right and surely it’s going to be different this time, part of it is because of experienced voters who have become disillusioned and are convinced people are bad and stupid and nothing is ever going to change. So as someone who has grown up around and also been both of those people, let me try to build a bridge here:

She’s losing because of multiple reasons. It’s not just rampant misogynoir, it’s not just widespread economic illiteracy, it’s not just non-committal Democratic pandering that pulls the left further to center and alienates their progressive base, it’s not just holier-than-thou non-voters and third-party protest voters splitting the party and eliminating crucial blue votes.

It’s all of those things. All of it is to blame. All of those factors come together to create the result we’re seeing, and nothing will get fixed if we immediately start casting blame on each other to absolve ourselves of any criticism directed at our own personal favorite strategy.

On the one hand, I get it. I really do. I’m mad as hell and I want to shake everyone who didn’t fucking think this through months or even days ago. How are we in this mess again? But on the other, it’s disheartening to be shouldering this loss and simultaneously find myself surrounded by the same moral soapbox rhetoric that got us in this shit and is certain to keep us here when the next election comes around.

If we want to do better next time, we need to be better than this time, and last time, and the time before that.

I’m not saying not to be mad, or even that you aren’t correct and extremely justified in being furious at everyone who ruined this for you. I’m just saying that someone else is definitely thinking the same thing about you, and regardless of who may or may not be more right, the fact is that we’re all a little bit right and we’re all a lotta bit stuck with the consequences.

So…solidarity? Or something? The enemy of my enemy doesn’t have to be my friend or my ally, but they can at least be my partner in political protest. Maybe through our efforts combined we can avoid this outcome in the future and pull this country out of the gutter.

[princessconsuela120]

Chapter six: A Lingering Love —✧

Series masterlist

Chapter Warnings: cursing, mentions of pregnancy , Eric Cartman (this man is his own warning)

Author’s Note: like I said these two chapters are posted in bulk, I wanted the chapter art before posting! Don’t forget to like comment and repost!

Chapter art by @clownfacepancakes120 and @silvell

—✧

I HADN'T SPOKEN TO KYLE SINCE I SAW HIM IN SCIENCE CLASS. It wasn’t that I was avoiding him, but I wasn’t actively trying to talk to him either. Which was weird, because usually I would be over at the Broflovski’s house at least two times a week. Whether it be babysitters Ike, or doing homework with Kyle, or even just to see him. Whenever my brother had band practice, he tended to hoard all of my best friends. Whenever there was band practice I was always extra excited to have an excuse to hang out with Kyle.

It was sort of sad too, seeing him in school but not openly going to talk to him. Standing at my locker that was only 7 lockers away from his. Stan’s locker next to mine that had a few sticky notes and small letters for him to ‘get well soon.’ He had been gone for the past few days after that night, we told our parents he got food poisoning, and he took an extra few days off just to decompress. I convinced mom it was a good idea, and she made sure he took his medicine at home.

“Hey, man.” Cartman said, a fake smug look on his face as he leant against the locker beside Kyle’s.

Oh Eric Cartman, it was strange to say he was still one of my best friends. We had bickered non-stop as children, you’d think we were enemies not friends. It all came crashing down when i decided to lead my own superhero group, Supers of Terrific Dare. Or in short, as we called ourselves, STD. Yes I know now the name wasn’t exactly practical, but I was 10 what did I know. I took just about half his team from him, and United all the girls in my group, giving me an insane amount of power of him. We were childhood rivals. The Coon vs The Gemini, the biggest rivalry in South Park elementary. Until high school.

In our freshman year he started being kicked out of the group more. I mean he was an ass, he deserved it. But I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. I’m the second semester he began failing his classes, and I was assigned to help tutor him. His mother, who was always the sweetest woman to us as kids, eventually became significantly close with me. I started to notice things, things that were abnormal even for Cartman. I told his mom about it, and they started Cartman on certain medications to help treat him. He was really good about it, and the week after her had started I found a thank you card and some chocolates hiding in my locker. There was no name with it, but I noticed the hand writing. And besides, three of the chocolates were eaten and that sort of gave it enough away in its own. Ever since he’s been welcomed back into the group. And yes he still is insufferable from time to time, but atleast he’s better now.

“What do you want fatass?” Kyle grumbled, opening his locker and grabbing his books. Cartman just leant against the locker, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Did you hear?” He said, Kyle turning to raise an eyebrow at him. “Juno’s pregnant.” He said, making Kyle’s heart skip a beat. He didn’t look over, trying to ignore Cartman.

“Yeah.” He let out quietly, still trying to ignore Cartman.

“Damn, what a whore am I right?” He said, chuckling slightly. Like I said, he can still be rather insufferable from time to time, but atleast he’s trying.

“She’s not a fucking whore Cartman!” Kyle shouted, slamming his fist angrily against his locker.

“Geez Khal you’re right, if she was a whore she’d get paid. She’s just a slut.” He corrected, making Kyle even angrier. He still had his anger issues he had when we were kids. I know he struggled a lot with it, especially when Cartman was around. It was like a light switched off in his mind and he didn’t know what he was doing anymore. I could tell this was a sensitive subject for him too, I guess that probably made it worse.

“Shut the fuck up fatass!” He shouted back, making Eric roll his eyes.

“Wow, who put sand in your vagina this morning Khal.”

“Juno isn’t a whore okay?” Kyle took a breath trying to calm himself, but feeling another light switch off when he heard Cartmans scoff. “You’re moms the one who’s the fucking whore!” He shouted back, feeling instantly guilty.

“Aye!” Cartman yelled, about to make another argument before Kyle walked away. He saw me, and realized I had heard the conversation, trying to follow after me before Butters stopped infront of him.

“Hey Kyle.” Butters greeted, his trade mark smile lighting up his face. Kyle looked behind him and sighed, I was gone.

“Hey Butters.” Kyle greeted back, smiling slightly.

“Did you hear, Juno’s pregnant. Poor girl.” Butters said with a sigh, making Kyle nod.

“Yeah.”

“She must be so scared, and lonely.”

Leopold Butters Stotch, truly the purest soul you’d ever met. Butters was the go to cheerer upper, and I had been a Butters protector since day one. I was the only one allowed to call him ‘Leo,’ and he was the only one allowed to call me Sunny. I wasn’t quite sure why he thought of the nickname, he said I reminded him of sunshine. It may have just been the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. I don’t agree with it, not one but, but Butters swore it was true. After he took Kenny and I to Hawaii in 4th grade we noticed a lot of new things about him. Like how he had autistic tendencies, how he tended to get easily angry, and when he was angry he was a menace worse than Cartman, and how his parents really didn’t care much for his well being. Kenny and I like to joke that we’re like Butters adoptive parents. Butters agrees.

“I think she’s okay, she’s got Stan and all..” Kyle began, trying to convince himself of the same thing.

“Did you hear it's yours?” Butters said nervously, rubbing his knuckles together as he looked up at Kyle.

“Yeah.” Did he hear? It’s just been the only thing on his mind since he found out.

“What a trip, man.” Butters said, patting Kyle on the back.

“Yeah. I don't really know too much about it.” Kyle said, trying to get away from Butters.

“You should grow a mustache. Become a man.” Butters said, puffing up his chest slightly. Kyle gave him a strange look.

“I can't.” He answered shortly, causing Butters to look at him softly.

“Me neither. But I'm gonna stop wearing underpants, raise my sperm count.” Kyle’s face contorted with confusion, until butters waved at him cheerfully. “See you!” He shouted happily, before walking away, leaving Kyle even more confused than he had been before.

—✧

“It just isn’t the same.” Kenny whined sadly, staring down at the small jar of weed he had taken from my dads old barn. Though we moved back home, my parents still owned tegridy farms. There were still a few plants left that hadn’t died, and still old containers left stashed away. They were planning to turn the space into something but never came up with anything. For now atleast, Stan keep all of his band things there. They usually drive down whenever they want to practice, to not disturb the young neighbors we have.

“What isn’t?” I asked, making him sigh, tucking the weed back into his pocket while taking a swig of his slushie.

“This. You can’t smoke, it’s like I’m being tortured.” Kenny sighed, holding his face in his hands.

“You can smoke Ken, I don’t care.” I said, but he just glared at me, his eyes wide.

“And risk damaging my baby? You must be nuts.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he grumpily slurped on his slushie.

“Oh so it’s your kid now?” I asked, and he held a hand on his heart.

“No Juno, it’s our kid.”

“Alright weirdo.” I teased, pushing him slightly as he laughed.

“So how’d it go with Mark and Vanessa?” He asked, making me smile.

“It was good, it was good. My dad handled most of the technical stuff, god knows I can’t. But they’re nice. They live in this huge house, and Vanessa has this perfume that cost more than my entire wardrobe and, and what, why are you staring at me.” I rambled, stopping when I noticed Kenny staring down at my stomach.

“Woah, check it out. Baby Broflovski’s coming out of the cave.” Kenny said, his jaw dropped with amazement as he placed a hand on my slight baby bump. I had noticed it this morning, the baby had poped out a significant amount. I couldn’t fit into my jeans, I had to take Stan’s. They say pregnancy is a beautiful thing but so far it’s biting me in the ass.

“Please don’t refer to my uterus as a cave. I’m a holy temple.” I said with a proud smile, as Kenny continued to feel around my stomach.

“That’s crazy, you’re like totally pregnant now.” He said, leaning back against the bench, taking a long swig of his slushie as I looked at him confused, moving the glasses that were on my face up to look at him. He mimicked my actions, mocking me as I glared at him.

“What was I before, partially pregnant?” I asked, and he just shrugged.

“Well you couldn't tell before, but now you’re glowing!” He said happily, a wide smile on his face. I groaned, letting my head fall back slightly.

“Please don’t remind me about the gross amount of sweat. I know I look awful.” I whined, hiding my face in embarrassment. Kenny pulled my hands down, smiling at me.

“No Juno, you’re beautiful.” He reassured, making me smile at his sweetness.

“Aww, thanks Ken.”

“So like, are your boobs gonna get bigger now too?” He asked, sipping his slushie with a smirk as I shoved him.

“I knew it was too good to be true, you freaking perv.” I teased, making him throw a hand up in defense.

“It was just a question!”

—✧

“Juno, hey.” Kyle said, catching up to me in the hallway. I turned around, smiling at him, he smiled back. His hair was messy and distorted on his forehead below his hat, his pupils were dialated, and he looked like he had just ran here to come find me.

“Hey, Kyle.” I said kindly, closing my locker door, leaning against the lockers as I smiled over at him.

“Me and some of the guys are gonna go to the movies...And doughnut that flick with the guy who has 18 kids. You wanna come?” He asked, taking a break to catch his breath between the words. I looked at him with a pout.

“Sounds awesome, but I got my ultrasound.” I said sadly, looking down at the box of donut holes in his hands. He sighed, scratching the back of his head nervously.

“Oh, really? Can I...? Should I come with you?” Kyle stuttered, making my expression drop slightly, and my heart faltered. I didn’t think he would want to.

“You can't waste those doughnut holes there. But maybe I could, you know, drop by later.” I smiled, he smiled back. It was strange, and outlandish for two people who knew more about each other than they did themselves. And I hated it, acting like I didn’t know Kyle. Because I did know him, I loved him.

“Yeah, yeah of course.” There was a hint of disappointment in his tone, I could tell he tried to hide it but failed.

“Later, Kyle.” I said, waving to him as I went to turn away. He waved back sadly.

“See you. I'll save you a seat.”

—✧

“There's your baby.” The ultrasound technician said, as all of us look up at the ultrasound computer. I was laying in the hospital bed, Kenny and Craig next to me and Stan on the other side, my mom standing behind me. Kenny would have thrown a fit if I didn’t let him come, Craig also begged me to be here the day before and Stan needed an excuse to get out of the house, so now we were having a nice little party in the hospital room.

“Oh, my God.” Kenny said, looking up at the screen in awe.

“Oh, Juno.” My mom whispered to me, kissing me head gently before the doctor began speaking.

“There's a hand. And an arm. And there's the feet.” She explained, making me smile slightly.

“Would you look at that?”

“Whoa, check out Baby Big Head. Dude, that thing is freaky-looking.” Stan said, making me roll my eyes.

“It looks like an alien.” Craig added, causing me to shove him lightly as he chuckled.

“Excuse me, I am a sacred vessel. All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.” I teased, making both boys giggle. “It's amazing that there's actually saps that cry at this.”

We all turn after hearing a sniffle, seeing Kenny shedding a few tears as I pout at him teasingly.

“What? I'm not made of stone.” He grumbled, grabbing a tissue from the bedside table.

“Well, there you have it. Would you like to know the sex?”

“Yes. Please, Juno, please?” Kenny cheered, practically jumping from his seat.

“No. No, definitely. No, there's... no sex.” I argued, shaking my head.

“Planning to be surprised?”

“I want Mark and Vanessa to be surprised. And if you tell me, I'll just ruin everything.”

“It’s true. She sucks at keeping secrets.” Stan remarked, making me scoff as I looked at him.

“Shut it Stanley. I still haven’t told Kenny about the time you took his strawberry pop tarts and replaced them with the cherry ones.”

“Hey!” Kenny yelled, shoving Stan as he held up his hands in defense.

“What?! The strawberry ones are my favorite! I think I have an addiction problem.” Stan said, earning a pat on the back from Craig as they shared a dramatic hug.

“Are Mark and Vanessa your friends at school?” The doctor asked, her voice very flat and unexcited, even a little rude.

“No, no, no, they're the adoptive parents.”

“Well, thank goodness for that.” The doctor said, earning a strange look from my mom.

“What's that supposed to mean?” She asked, entering defense momma bear mode. This was my favorite side from my mom.

“I see a lot of teenage mothers come through here. It's obviously a poisonous environment to raise a baby in.” The doctor explained, making me give her a strange look.

“How do you know that I'm so poisonous, you know?” I asked and Stan nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, what if these adoptive parents turn out to be, like, evil molesters?” Stan argued, as Craig nodded in agreement.

“Or, stage parents.” He argued back.

“Or poor. No offense Ken, you know I love ya.” I turned to grab Kenny’s hand and he grabbed mine in return, a dumb smile on his face.

“None taken.”

“They could be negligent. Maybe they'll do a far shittier job...Than my dumb-ass daughter. Have you considered that?” My mom said angrily, causing Stan and I to share a shocked look.

“No, I guess not.”

“Yeah. What is your job title exactly?”

“I'm an ultrasound technician, ma'am.”

“Well, I'm a nail technician, and I think we both ought to stick to what we know.” The doctor looked offended, serves her right though.

“Excuse me?”

“You think you're so special because you get to play Picture Pages?” My mom began, glaring at the doctor in a fit of anger. “My 12-year-old neighbor could do that, and he's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed.” She explained, making the doctor look at her even angrier.

“He’s Canadian.” I added, but Stan just looked at me confused.

“But I thought Ike was a genn…”

“Shh, moms making a point.” I said, covering Stan’s mouth, making him glare at me.

“Why don't you go back to night school in Manteno and learn a real trade?” My mom finished her off as the woman walk out. All four of us turned to my mom as she dusted off her hands proudly.

“Mom, you're a dick. I love it.” I said, pulling down my shirt and pulling my mom into a hug as she laughed slightly.

—✧

[alaffy]

House of the Dragon, Ep. 2x03 – The Burning Mill (Spoilers)

Correct me if I’m wrong, isn’t this show supposed to be about a great war?  When’s the coming up?  And with who?  Not with these idiots.  Not with these so-called plans.

In fact, things have gotten so bad that the smaller houses have just decided "fuck it, we’ll start the war ourselves."  You could have at least shown part of the battle. 

Sir Chirstian, now the King’s Hand, shows that there’s no way on Earth he should ever have gotten that title.  Sir Bitch, as he will now be referred to, decides that he’s going to take Harrenhal with the few men that he has at the moment.  After all, all the have to do is force loyalty from all the smaller houses on the way (well, the ones that aren’t already for the King).  This is a stupid plan, done by stupid men.  At least, Alicent’s brother has just so happened to show up and goes with Sir Bitch, to keep an eye on him for Alicent.

Aegon is not happy he’s not going with them.  He tries to sneak after them, but is stopped by Layrs Strong who uses (probably false) rumors to make him stay.  Strong is made the Master of Whispers.  Aegon goes on a pub crawl.

Aemond is also unhappy he will not go fight.  He is more practical about it and shows that he’s the one person of intelligence involved in all of this (not counting Alicent).  We also see his dick.  Wheee.

Daemon has gone to Harrenhal and has taken over.  Not that it was a challenge.  The place is falling apart, there are maybe eight people living there, and the Lord at Harrenhal hates Lord Strong.  I honestly think he would give Daemon the proverbial keys and take his family on a long vacation if that wouldn’t be seen as treason.  It’s also clear that Daemon sees a far grander role for himself than just consort.  He also starts to have strange visions.  Are they prophecies or is he just going mad?

Baela had a chance to rid the world of Sir Bitch; but does not.  Baela is currently on my shit list. 

Rhaenys and Vaemond prove, again, they are the best characters on the series.

Rhaenyra and Rhaenys have a chat.  Rhaenys suggests that maybe there’s a way to avoid war if Rhaenyra and Alicent were to chat.  It is a naïve belief, but I think Rhaenys is just done with this shit and is trying everything to figure out a way to end it.  Rhaenyra sends the younger children away, as well as Baela’s sister, for their protection.  Rhaenyra’s council suggests Rhaenyra hide as well…and that would help her cause how?

Rhaenyra decides to let the White Worm stay at the stronghold.  She also decides that it might be best that she and Alicent talk and asks the White Worm how she might go about and do this.  And…sigh.  Last episode, we had a twin sneak in pretending to be his twin.  This episode, Rhaenyra sneaks into King’s Landing dressed as a Nun in order to talk to Alicent at the Sept.  I know this show is produced by WB, that doesn’t mean the battle plans need to come from Loony Toons.

Anyway, the two meet and we finally have something that really advances the plot.  The two of them discuss what happened the night of the King’s death.  Long story short, Rhaenyra figures out that Alicent thought the King was talking about her son Aegon because she didn’t know about “Fire and Ice.”  Meanwhile, Alicent realizes that she did misunderstand what the King was talking about.  However, it’s kind of too late.  Even if she were to recant, who would believe her?  And what would happen to her family?  Rhaenyra might say she’ll be merciful, but there will always be those who believe Aegon is the true king.  He would have to be killed, as well as his heirs.  Really, the only thing she can do it continue saying that the King chose Aegon.

Anyway, it looks like the actual war starts next episode.  Perhaps I’ll start to find the show more interesting.

[limeade-l3sbian]

Why do radfems conveniently forget that female socialization, and societal pressure exist when it's convenient for them.

We make girls insecure by bombarding them with impossible standards that they will never be able to reach, we reward girls who do conform, and partake in beauty rituals and whatnot and AS A RESULT, girls see this and adapt their behavior, clothing, appearance and sometimes even interest to be treated decently and then radfems see this and have the nerve to go "why are women resorting to cosmetic procedures, just let yourself age gracefully" "stop wearing makeup to inspire other women" "stop saving don't give them your money" as if it was that fucking easy, as if we're supposed to ignore all the pressure we're subjected to and pretend it doesn't happen or doesn't affect us. Like come on we're women here we know what it's like. You know damn well if you were to go over a certain BMI you'd be treated like a monster. Like I'm not a bad person or anti feminist for not wanting to have a hard life, and it is not my responsibility to make women feel comfortable in their own skin like this is crazy I didn't subject women to males oppression why is it on me to make it stop.

We condition women and girls to put up with shitty male behavior, to take up less space, to not make a fuss etc.., so when you see a woman complaining about her shitty boyfriend/husband why is your first fucking thought "omg just leave him" as if it was that fucking easy. I've even seen a loooot of radfems say "if you partner up with a man don't be surprised about what happens to you, don't expect any help me from me, you knew what was gonna happen".

Like radfems do acknowledge that female socialization is a thing but how dare women be affected by it.

As individualistic and selfish libfems are, I've never seen them look down on or mock a woman for just trying to survive in a patriarchal world.

You can ignore this like I get it you don't owe me a reasone like im just so tired do radfems belive that women should be faultless and perfect in order for them to discuss issues or dip their toes into radfeminism. Shits already hard enough what do you want from us

No, I won't ignore. Because what you're saying is correct and reasonable. 🤷🏾‍♀️

A lot of radfems have an unfortunate disconnect, and often judge reality by the parameters of idealism.

I don't think the "age gracefully" and "stop wearing makeup" things are judgements (at least they shouldn't be) so much as they are encouraging rally cries, if that makes sense? At least by the women I follow, that's what they mean. It's certainly what I mean. I think there is a lot of judgement passed on women who, like a lot of us at one time, play our part in the patriarchy. I think radfems can be chronically online as well, and that's when you get these needlessly judgemental or "easy fix" (i.e. "just leave your boyfriend") posts.

That's why it's important to balance out your online voice with your real world one. We actively live in this society so to suggest one can be completely removed from its influences is naive. We will defend the actions of women of the past as victims of oppression yet simultaneously pass judgement on a woman making feminist points because she's wearing makeup? I hope I never come off as someone who thinks this community is perfect. But I think it's problems she fixable and redeemable. I think the biggest issues we're dealing with are ego and chronic onlineness (don't think that's a word but you get it).

I fully understand that it's not your fault that men oppress us. So why should it be your job to make it stop? Well, I think that's just a matter of community more so than shifting responsibility. Men are not going to turn their backs on a system that benefits them so much. And if men aren't going to do it, then we (not just you), have to do it ourselves.

I'm rambling now but yeah, this community ain't perfect. We've got a few leaks we need to focus on instead of babies on planes, but I've got hope. 💜

[giraffeonstrike]

I'm going to say something that is going to sound weird and potentially "sus" but just do me a favor please and let yourself take in the ENTIRE thing.

Most of the time, I prefer to exist around younger people.

I don't creepily hang out with 12 year olds but at my age, "younger people" has a range from 18-30. And speaking of my age, here's the reason why I don't have a lot of 40-something friends: my generation had been rendered useless in matters of empathy and emotional wellness. Raised by boomers, unless we've had some very honest conversations with ourselves about how the people around us are real and valid, we are unlikely to ask you how you feel about anything. To try to find the root cause of why you're upset. Even less likely to attempt to do anything about it.

Take for my most recent example: my wife is pregnant and very emotional and cries at the drop of hat. At this point she *will* cry about Poptarts, which she did this morning at the grocery store. A man my age or maybe a little older standing near us, who we don't know, felt it necessary to tell her "Jesus Christ, calm down". The late-teens, maybe early twenties young man stocking the aisle, however, gently tapped rubbed her arm and said "it's okay, what kind did you want? I can try to find some in the back for you." I don't think it's down to just the fact that he works there. He did what all the young folks I know will do when they come across someone in distress, attempt to soothe them and help how they can. It doesn't even matter if it's something "silly", they find emotions of any kind to be way more valid than people my age do. We were just told to calm down and control ourselves. Our whole lives we were told to suck it up and move on...consequently we're kind of terrible.

Anyway...thanks to kind, young Poptart hero Jayden, all tears have dried. The correct flavor has been taken home, and he didn't even ask her why she was crying. (Another bad habit of men my age is asking women who are having feelings if they're pregnant or on their period which, what the actual fuck?) We talked to him as long as we could without getting him in trouble and he said that it hurts his feelings when people cry, and how could you just let a person cry and not at least try to help? He can't do it.

It may seem like such a small thing, but it gives me so much hope that things will get better. The whole world will become more collaborative, loving, empathetic. That the generational curse of selfishness will cease to be passed on further. That we'll finally be allowed to feel.

[casketscratch]

why does people being nice throw me so fucking much.

this is just me churning through emotions because my usual writing app keeps crashing lmao.

my mom's husband just sent me my fucking equivalent in rent since he heard about the work situation and was like, "you've got shit going on, it's fine" basically and i'm ??? ? ? ? practically hyperventilating over someone being genuinely selfless and helpful, like. i don't.

i just don't. i don't. my experience of people is... the things i don't talk about, or we don't talk about, even amongst ourselves in the system, and the furthest i've gotten with the therapist is "maybe we just leave that guy the actual fuck alone after the binge drinking that put us in the hospital because there is some Shit There" and oh my god nice people exist. that's what i'm freaking out over. there's just this genuinely kind person in my life who didn't make a big deal about it, and who has not once pushed a boundary or so much as looked at us cockeyed when i'm being a confrontational asshole about something trivial (admittedly, it's usually trivial, i just... go feral and feel bad about it after all the time, ffs.) we've been here for weeks and he's just... i don't know?

i am trying to wrap my head around the fact a good person exists in this fucking world because it feels like it throws such a wrench in the gears of... everything i believed? the entire framework? people can be neutral. they can be helpful. they can be kind. but not... whatever this is. whatever he is being. like i don't trust it even if i know i can.

this is the most idiotic trigger ever. and i understand it, and i know why it's there -- the times in the past someone offered help only to be a trap, or poison, or a lie. it feels like anticipatory fear, and what we're going to have to do to earn this help after the fact, and...

god, i am just so angry that i'm even like this and have this much suspicion and turmoil over help i needed. which is correct, right? like that is probably the correct direction for that anger to go, is at the people who did the actual damage in the first place? yes.

a couple weeks ago i very clearly heard someone internally say something about how "stephan's basically cut off from most of the emotional circuitry" and yeah. seems that way. i have no fucking idea what to do now that it's all nestled a little closer. what even is this fucking feeling.

genuinely it would have been easier to cope if he'd just punched me in the face and told me to go fuck somebody for the cash.

none of which is to say i'm not grateful or blown over with relief, just. also all the rest?

i guess therapy's at least working, huh.

[subtle-carrot]

Well, it finally happened. After hoping that this would stay as an American thing, I came face to face with a personality test while applying for a job. Or, as I call it in my limitless eloquence, fucking bullshit.

Now, I already wrote a 400 word (in Finnish) reply to the request for my personality (and IQ as well) but I’m so incensed that I guess I’m going to write some more. Hold on to your anal cushions, it’s gonna get bumpy.

So, personality tests and job search. These are bad. These should not go together. Why? At least two things: repetition and bias.

Repetition

What personality tests are designed to do is not “to enable everyone discover the job most appropriate for them”. No, what they provide for their clients, ie. the companies hiring, not the people wishing to be hired, is the chance to forever repeat their past. To always and forever, only hire the same person as in the past.

It’s no great secret that companies have some pretty firmly lodged beliefs about what makes a good person for certain jobs. And how do they know these beliefs are correct? Well, it has worked in the past therefore it will work, forevermore. And because the companies that provide these personality tests are also for profit, they will gleefully reinforce these beliefs.

Considering new options is anathema to big companies which is why they will never change and also why personality test companies will sell their snake oil to them, knowing that the more they sell it, the more companies will be convinced of their effectiveness. Because what they provide is in the end, more of the same the company would have done alone, but now with the spectacle and appearance of science.

And I’m certain companies don’t mind how these tests make them feel more and more like exclusive clubs, with only the cream of the crop allowed in. Well, unless your daddy or mommy is already on the board.

Bias

The funny thing about people is that although sympathy and empathy are one of our base abilities, we are communal animals after all, we are ever so bad and good at it. Good because yes, we can do sympathy and empathy by and large, but how we place ourselves in someone else’s position or sense their feelings is coloured by our own position.

So, how ever good one’s intentions, one has bias. And when you put together a lot of people and let them mill about for a quite a long while, you get cultural bias. And that bias tells us who is the norm and what is the ideal. And because of that, what someone does in a particular situaton can depend a great deal on a person’s cultural background, something that is otherwise invisible to them.

And as written above, companies want to copy their Ideal Employee. And when you look around Western culture and its regard for neurodivergence and other cultures (even when well meaning), you have to ask yourself: would, no, could these personality tests treat them as the “norm” or better yet, the “ideal”? Because these kinds of people could bring something companies would never in their wildest dreams want: change, new points-of-view to their structures and systems. Because that would not be repetition.

And although these tests are marketted as something that “make the hiring process more equal” (something actually in the request for me to do them), a sickening claim in my humble opinion, their sole point is to be exclusionary. Because as I said, companies like to feel special, and you don’t get much more special than by being a “special people only” club. So you add more hoops to jump through. And I will again remind that the personality test companies are selling a product, catering to the wants of their clients. They want to feed into this special boys club feeling, no matter what they say to the person trying get hired. You aren’t the customer here, remember.

And what is the result from these personality tests reinforcing bias and companies’ beliefs? Well...

Systemic Unchange

Just like so many systems in our world, companies can, in the end, only repeat themselves. Their internal systems are all geared toward maintaining themselves and looking at systemic problems has never been the strength of any system of power. Especially because rather often, systems cannot be rebuilt or corrected while the systems still stands. Sometimes, these systems have to be torn down to the ground, past the foundations, for them to be made into something better.

And what personality tests of this kind provide is exactly what companies want to hear: “No, you’ve been doing it right all along. Here, let us do it even more right for you.” No change required. In fact, anti-change is required. Just cement your positions. Look, we have a graph, produced precisely to sell you this product, that says you should.

And what about the people wanting to get hired? Well, worst case scenario, we start seeing certain kinds of people, those outside the norm and ideal, becoming unhireable. Sure, you can learn which answers are right, but that only highlights how purposeless the whole system is. It’s just another hoop you need to jump through or not get hired. Because companies don’t want to give you the job you will be the most happy in. They want you to give them the employee they’ll be the most happy with.

So, basically, personality tests in hiring something something bad. Many words.

And this is without even going into how this reeks of the worst excesses of paternalistic, “we know best for everyone” modernism.

[48787]

toki suli nasa wawa li pona suli jaki e pilin mi nasa wawa

(Little too lazy rn to make sure that is grammatically correct, but toki ike is still more toki pona than toki English so I don't care that much hehe, it's good enough for me at least. I would write this blurb in toki pona as well but I still need to work out comparisons a bit more first.)

I made my post ideating a second blog or a Blog Revelation -> Regenesis or maybe something else entirely, and then immediately after posting I refreshed the page and saw people were contemplating the efficacy of this webbed site once again due to unneeded/unwanted/unpopular changes to the site once again, which got me thinking quite a bit more about what I actually wanted out of all this. It was kinda like a sign from the Gods, shedding divine light to guide my path.

And there's such a radiant glow coming from the "Export Blog" button...

I don't think the data theft shit'll be that bad for me specifically, I don't think I did anything here that could be considered "Sensitive" (Relative to any other shitty data stealing websites we keep finding ourselves normalizing) but I suppose you never really know until it's too late. Regardless, I think I don't need to consider the infernal temptation of the big red "Delete Account" button for quite a while until the next Divinely Comedic think happens and the temptation grows stronger. It is such a tempting button how it is alone anyway..

I just might not make as many "public" posts while I focus on my own local environment and a more targeted (and more "secure," whatever that means in this day and age,) audience. I'm so sorry denizens of this social platform, if it feels like I've been deceiving you into thinking I was here to socialize it's because I was and still am (Deceiving you, I mean), I'm really mostly just here to look at shit for wannabe art student inspiration and do pseudo slam poetry that I don't expect anyone to read but post anyway because the adrenaline kick from potentially being held accountable (In any possible way, getting complimented is another form of being held accountable you know.) helps me shape my social anxiety into something more positivity fetishistic. Though I do hope this doesn't come as a shock, as I've said quite a few times by now my first rule is "You are being deceived" and if you were deceived into thinking I was lying it's kinda a skill issue sorry, I literally feel psychic pain when I lie so I try my hardest to just act deceptive rather than actually lie or spread misinformation/false information (I don't know if the distinction between any of these words matters to anyone but me, but hey maybe you can learn the wonders and horrors of Etymology some day!.. Or maybe we should stop telling autistic people shit like "You need to not be expressive in order to be expressive" because that's not deception that's just a fucking lie or weird wannabe proof by contradiction, and I am living proof enough that that doesn't fucking work for people like me who feel the need to be expressive.).

Despite that deception, most of you have been excellent weapons and/or tools and I hope I can use you all again later. Maybe at some point this blog site that supposedly lets people be themselves will eventually let me be myself more too! It'd probably have to make a couple changes before I could consider it "worth" being "myself" on, but hey the future sure is bright ain't it! But if not feel free to message me on whatever communication platform, protocol, or format you prefer whenever you want about whatever (Maybe you like being one of my weapons or tools, idk, it's not my job to judge that beyond how it shapes how I utilize you), even on Tumblr's shitty messaging service if you happen to "prefer" it for some weird reason. I happen to prefer direct messages solely between two distinct entities because it makes the social contract a bit easier to understand or reshape so I'm even willing to put up with Tumblr's shitty messaging service for now, but hey you do you, if you want to try to communicate with me via tags or posts or whatever I'll certainly try to perceive your meaning! Good luck!!

And, if you can bear the raw psionic might emitted from whatever cobbled together homunculus I form to bear the weight of my thoughts (Most likely an even shittier website, but my previous definition of "website" has actually proven to be incorrect so who knows!), know that I have so many more posts in mind that have to go somewhere so you might be able to seize the relatively unique privilege of actually seeing them if you would like. It'd be a good idea to probably have a good understanding of toki pona first though, I'm only speaking English because I lack power to make pu or su mandatory readings in public education and I have yet to master telepathy well enough to psychically transmit the glyphs in a way other brains can actually understand.

I'll still be around, probably still making posts similar to how I have been if focus allows it, but there just won't be any kind of deliberate/active improvement to the format or structure, as well as the natural slowing that occurs whenever focus is diverted. Until I construct my spacebridge, this blog will stagnate at its current level of organization and coherency with the same kind of posts coming at the same or slowed irregular rate. Stagnation should be enraging, but it's merely a diversion of focus till all are one.

Maybe I'll start posting more music posts? idk, i'll feel it out, it might be faster at letting me spew an idea out without having to spend too much focus on, but who knows!

Okay that was a healthy distraction, back to work on the current homunculus! This new homunculus is named "nemesis" and usually uses it/its pronouns but when rodent is @ nemesis sometimes it uses he/him or she/her. She's my lovely baby of extreme power and potential, and I've been siphoning psionic energies and essences to channel within her to the point where its finally sentient, but she still lacks the right amount of perception and aesthetic to really start acting with sapience though (I usually do not separate the two words to make a deliberate etymological point, but I am doing it here to make the point opposite to the one I usually make). She knows I'm proud though!

[marylandlifecoaching]

You Decide

Choice. We really don't understand how powerful we are. And because we don't, we gravitate towards the negative in many situations. But in reality, we decide. We get to choose the narrative. We can focus on the dark side, or the light. It's all a matter of perception. Me...I choose light. Let's get into it.

I would never want to minimize what anyone is going though. And if there is one thing I have learned in providing 38 years of mental health work, it's the value of shutting the fuck up. When someone is suffering, it is not for me, you or anyone else to tell someone how they should be feeling. Saying things like "It will get better", or "I know how you feel" offers no real help. Saying things like "Is there anything I can do?", or "I can't even imagine what you are going though" validates their pain.

But let me redirect us back to our power. In those 38 years of mental health work, I have learned just how resilient we can be. Some us get stuck. Some of us get moving. And here is my take away from providing decades of crisis and first response work.

1. Those who focused on what they have instead of what they don't, recover at a much faster pace.

2. While grieving takes time, those who made an effort to live, improved their quality of life substantially.

3. Those who had a community that would support, rather than try and trauma bond, seemed to walk out of the darkness quicker.

4. All who believed that life holds the possibility that it could get better, usually got better.

5. Those who did not minimize what they were dealing with, were the ones who sought out help. Thus, staying stuck or getting worse, usually did not happen.

6. Those who acknowledged their part {toxic behavior}, course corrected and bypassed landing in the same situation again.

If you have been following me for a number of years, you would know the tragedy that both my wife and I have had to endured. But you would also be hard pressed, to find anyone who is more laid back, in love with life, generous, and caring than my wife and I. {Not a flex.} We just understand this one fundamental truth. That just because life can be brutal, doesn't mean we have to respond in kind. In fact, the harder life got, the more we leaned into each other and what remained. In other words, we decided to choose happy. Do we have bad times? Of course. We have cultivated the art of mediation, prayer and service. If we can't help ourselves, at least we can help somebody else.

All I am saying is this. We can magnify the pain. Or we can magnify our purpose. And my purpose is love. I decide what to focus on. I love the saying, "We can quit or we can keep going. Both hurt." Picking up what I am laying down? You have the power. You have a choice. You decide.

[the1975attheirverybest]

the point about throwaway terms is very fucking valid like i am fucking sick of seeing stuff about intrusive thoughts when it is just impulsive like intrusive thoughts are like "what if i poured boiling water on my cat" (not a literal example but that kind of thing) and they fucking suck and you feel horrific not just being silly and goofy

but i think the thing about gen z not being able to define itself it interesting as well because with social media there is no one thing you sit down as a generation and watch or take part in. there isnt really a top of the pops or a similar culturally defining piece of media other than say tiktok. but its also very easy to look at tiktok and see it as the face of gen z when i find most of the time it represents a small demographic of rich americans as opposed to the majority of gen z. like as a British person social media is very clearly dominated by americans

i also think there is something to be said about criticising gen z for being critical of older generations but consuming the media when we as a generation have been constantly harped on for being shit, have dealt with social media and being conscious of every political happening all at once from the age of 12, the housing crisis, brexit, the shortcomings of the education system, covid, and i could probably go on but all before even leaving school? and yet we are the generation that gets the piss taken out of us? like yes we fucking suck but also like come on. im not trying to say look at us we have it so hard because we didnt deal with world war two or the cold war or the 2008 financial crisis or 9/11 but we were also like 14 and witness to war nearly being started because of twitter and laying in bed at 15 watching black people being violently murdered and 16 trying to sleep after being told on the internet that if we dont post about everything happening ever you are a bad person, but our problem is not being able to define ourselves culturally? or trying to find an alternative to the present by looking back to the past that has been glorified by previous generations? like i dont think i can explain how mentally damaging waking up to find out that a bill allowing oil drilling in the arctic which will destroy the earth has been passed but still having to get up, go to school and pretend that fucking a levels matter before having any sort of life achievements is

sorry if this comes off as preachy but im just a little tired of older generations being seeming incapable of empathy sometimes - 🐸

No, you’re right! I mean, it’s very easy for us older folks who have done most of our growing up already to look back and say “they should be doing X or y” when….if that were true then we wouldn’t have “failed” before y’all even came along, haha. I think when we criticize gen z, there are two types of criticism:

1) where it’s just old people being afraid of change. Like, espcially socio-politically. It’s clear that the systems we have no HAVE FAILED CATASTROPHICALLY otherwise there wouldn’t be a recession, so much fascism etc. and it’s time for something radically different and older people don’t get the urgency of that as much as younger people do. Which is a cheap kind of criticism. Like, if you won’t support the kids then get the fuck out of their way. Cuz they’re gonna change the future with or without you. You’re just making it slower/harder for them.

2) criticism that recognizes some gen z movements as overcompensation or over correction of something that we ourselves have tried to fix before. It’s no huge secret that every generation develops its beliefs, aesthetic preferences, political ideals, etc in response to what came before it. Not just gen z. We millennials did it, too. And so did gen X and boomers…I think all the way back to at least the Reagan administration, here in the US anyways, things have been…on the downhill HAHA. and each generation tries to do something about. Then the next one comes along and is like “alright they tried X and failed, what if we try Y?” And sometimes we recognize the younger generations mistakes cuz we have made them, too and we just wanna be like “bro, no, no. Trust me. That’s not gonna work. You’ll see it when you’re older and you’re looking back at the generation after you too.” Those criticisms, I think, are fair. And might even help future kids if they listen.

But, at least for me, and I won’t speak for my entire generation or for those before me, my criticism doesn’t mean I don’t empathize. One of my fav Notes tracks is “People” purely because of the “stop fucking with the kids.” Young people have always been the face of change. They are usually the demographic that votes one party in and the other out. Conservatives always win only when they oppress the youth and appeal to the fear of old people. They’re on the edge of fashion, art, pop culture. So, I know better than to be dismissive of young people! Never! It’s just, sometimes I see the mistakes happening and I’m like “ohhh noooo stop before it’s too late” haha.

[alwek]

I always get a bit existential after doing my usual "bait terfs into fighting me" thing. Which is part of why I do it. It gets me thinking, am I right? Am i being the shit head here? But then someone calls me a rapist for saying people should be treated equally, and I know I'm not.

But that leads me to think, how the fuck did they end up like that? Who hurt them so much that they think saying "kill all men" makes you a good person? I used to think it was ironic but hearing it so much every time i do this, I don't think so. It's sad, really, that they could be tricked into hating half the world. I wish i could do more, i say knowing full well i will do this exact thing again. It's fun to make them look terrible. But still, a part of me always wants to DM at least one of them, and really try to talk about all that shit, get to the bottom of it. Only thing is every time i try to challenge them a bit I get blocked or it turns hostile. It's a shame, really, how little people believe they can change things these days. A permeating feeling of hopelessness surrounds the entire ideology. Hell, it surrounds most of them these days. I understand it. Watching your people get fucked over and killed for trying to live respectfully, it's enough to drive anyone to rage. And well, I do agree that some people need to be killed to fix things, but it's not anyone on this webbed site. That I know of, anyway. All the death threats both sides send while we fight the same fucking fight. It's like everyone became blind that we're all of the same ilk. I blame capitalism pushing us to seperate ourselves endlessly. The more groups we have, the more money can be made. Keep them apart the money keeps going.

But yeah,

All people should be equal, and those who currently aren't, need to fight to be, and those that are need to fight to get them there. We all live in society, and therefore it can't be changed by only half of it. Teamwork, fuck.

You say we don't believe the same thing? The root of BOTH our sides is "women are oppressed and it needs to stop." And yet even when I say that terfs will still find a way to make me the bad guy for saying that. My new example from this? "That's not real feminism". It's like saying the queer movement never happened. You twisted and mutilated what it was into a hate filled unrecognizable shell of its former glory and stand.

We should all be equal. "I want liberation!" You realize that being equal means you'll be liberated right? You say it's not fair men get all the stuff then complain to people when they say you'll get that stuff once equality is had, like, come on, how do you not hear yourself? I keep saying "hey, idiot, we want literally the same thing, why are you attacking me?" It doesn't make sense. I want it to. That's me though.

But yeah, everyone should be equal. When you show me an article about a person that got away with rape and ask me "what's the rapists gender?" Do you really expect me to just ignore that you said a rapist got away with rape? Who fucking cares about the gender, that's fucked up they got away with it!

You cone at me with childish insults about genitalia then when I lean into it im the pervert after you were the one going off about a penis you never have or will see? Why are y'all so focused on genitals? I just want to be able to piss somewhere where I don't have to be afraid of being followed into THE CORRECT bathroom by some fucking asshat that doesn't like how I present.

I want to be able to go out in public wearing clothes i feel happy in, presenting in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'm holding everything i am back for the sake of eyes i don't give a shit about. Shame those eyes would kill me if given the opportunity.

It always comes back to "but you white man" as if I'm both white and a man. You're jumping to racist sexist stereotypes to try and justify your attacking of someone who hasn't bothered a soul. I'm a non binary indigenous person and yet every time I do this, I get accused of being a white man, and you think that's not racist? You're assuming the race of someone because you disagree with them. That's racist. You're telling me I'm worthless because of how I was born. That's sexist. It's sad.

But yeah, we should all be equal. We should all be able to feel some sense of safety where we live. We should all have food in our bellies, water in our cups, roofs over our heads. We have everything we need for people to be happy and comfortable and thrive, but SOMETHING tricked everyone into fighting each other over the cause. Personally i think it's patriarchal based capitalism that's fucked everything. It successfully made us think that being different makes us bad. Being different is what makes us good.

Everyone should be treated equally. Everyone should get kindness first, and treated as they continue to treat others. The individual who commits atrocities should be punished not all that take part in the same group. We are individuals. We are all the same because of it. We are all equal because of it.

Everyone should be treated equally. Gender isn't real. Genitals don't matter. Do what you want if you ain't hurting anyone that don't want it. Be kind. Treat others as they continue to treat you.

Power in anger. Victory in wisdom.

All are equal. We are all but earthlings. Human, suffering together. Why should we continue to suffer? Let's work together about it