#but it's bittersweet too because they know they might not get another moment like this

[cawslew]

pitching a random hc here, do you think that dazai and atsushi would get into the habit of giving each other gifts? i feel like dazai would give atsushi things because atsushi is too unused to just having more than the bare minimum and he would keep everything. then he feels he needs to return the favor and he thinks about things to give dazai that dazai keeps to fill his normally kind of empty (andpresumablylifeless) room. atsushi definitely keeps everything he's given (as his outfit is everything the ada prepared for him despite some items being redundant), but i feel like dazai doesn't try to keep anything. but he can't really reject the sincerity of atsushi's gift, so he has to keep it (and i think it's really funny that he would have to content with physical proof that people do care for him because he can't bring himself to throw it away)

OOOOH, I do love the idea! It would fit their personalities (definitely I'm not clinging to that one scene of Wan... It definitely isn't super important to me.)

Dazai would 100% be the type to start it, casually. Probably even without realizing fully how much it would mean to Atsushi (He knew it would be important to him but not on such a big scale). He might even give him practical things at first, like a nicer notebook, a scarf for winter, or, you know, small silly things, like a cat charm that he's trying to convince Atsushi will ward off bad luck.

But we know Atsushi didn’t get to have stuff in his childhood... It always resulted in punishments, so he definitely has to adjust to the concept of receiving gifts and people caring for him. So everything he would get from Dazai would feel important. He would treasure it all, even if he calls out Dazai for trying to trick him with the silly little charm, he would keep it in his pocket at all times. Or use the notebook until it’s full, even if it’s a cheap one.

But like you said, Atsushi would definitely feel obliged to reciprocate, and agonize over what to get for a man like Dazai 😭 So he would want to be thoughtful, and because of that, he would start to observe Dazai even more, focus on the things that the other would use or need. Of course, Dazai doesn’t keep much around, avoiding owning anything for too long or having too much, most likely avoiding any sentimentality whenever possible... So he is put in a bit of a predicament when Atsushi gives him something. It’s just impossible to reject it, since the other put so much thought and sincerity behind that gesture. Like, imagine Atsushi gifting him something simple, like a well-made pen with a note saying, “I noticed you’re always borrowing Kunikida’s.” Or even something impractical but heartfelt.

Dazai would try to justify why he shouldn’t keep that stuff ("I don’t need another pen, Atsushi, I can just use Kunikida’s"), but in the end, he will cave and keep it. Over time, he’d probably find himself unable to throw these things away, no matter how small or insignificant they might seem. At some point, he would need to confront the fact that Atsushi genuinely cares for him. It would be physical evidence of their connection, which is something Dazai is very unused to (knowing how his previous relationships with other people looked like). Maybe at first he tucks the gifts away in drawers or keeps them out of sight, but eventually, they start filling his space and straight up force him to keep them in sight.

It do be a little bit of a bittersweet and funny image to me. Just Atsushi loving everything and keeping it because it gives him comfort... Whilst Dazai is the opposite of that spectrum, reluctantly keeping little gifts because he can’t bring himself to reject the sincerity, but at the same time being scared of such emotions. Gold headcanon moment fr.

[rikkivoid]

winter kiss

[nerdygirlramblings]

omegaverse 141

a/n part of this once again inspired by @dragonnarrative-writes and their comment on a previous chapter. also, if you have ideas for a title, that'd be great 😂

cw: a/b/o dynamics and typical omegaverse breeding (m! and f! omegas can get pregnant) mentioned

previous

In the interim between your meeting with Captain Price and dinner with the task force you call your family pack. You know your moms and dad will give you their honest opinions, and right now you want that more than anything.

"Hey pretty girl," Dad says when he picks up the video call. "Everything okay? You usually don't call on a weekday unless we've planned it." For a moment you simply take in his smile and the way he's trying to reassure you.

You deflect. "How are you feeling, Dad?" He's carrying another litter, and after losing the last two, you know how important it is to everyone that this one is successful.

"Your moms have pretty much put me on bed rest," he says, rolling his eyes. "But you called us, honey, what's going on?"

You sigh. This is what you called them for. "Well, I wanted your opinion on something," you tell him.

"Just my opinion, or do you want the moms' too?"

You tell him you want everyone's opinion, so he moves through your childhood home to where your moms are, each room he passes drawing forth another bittersweet memory that has you missing him and your pack even more.

He finds your moms in your childhood bedroom, being transformed into a nursery, again. He sits on the rocking chair you remember, the one that floated between the three kids' bedrooms each time there was a new litter. Once your moms are standing behind Dad, you tell everyone about the offer to join Price's task force, and by extension his pack.

The more you tell them, the more your mind snags on how appealing being part of a pack is. But you can't help but be scared of the implications of that desire. Despite how Price laid things out, it's going to be hard enough to prove you're worthy of being on the 141, and if you become part of their pack, you'll never escape the talk about sleeping your way on the task force.

Your parents can tell your mind is somewhere else when you hear Mum insert your name into Bowie's "Space Oddity."

"Sorry, Mum. Wha' was i'?"

"I was just saying this - the task force, I mean - sounds like a great career opportunity. But I can't abide how much more danger this puts you in."

Mama adds, "Sounds like this alpha knew how to broach this. Didn't cock it up. And I agree with Mum, this is much more dangerous than what yer doing now. But sweetie, ya didn't see yerself when ya talked about what this would mean ta ya. And what doors it might open for other omegas like your brother."

You tear up. Both your moms see this for the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity it is. You notice no one's mentioned the other half of Price's offer. "Dad?" you prompt, "Wha' da you think?"

Dad watches you for a few minutes, smiling but sad: you can see it in his eyes. "I think you need to say yes, honey. Even if it scares us more, i's the right thing fer you." Your moms don't chime in; they don't need to. But you need want their thoughts on becoming a pack omega, Dad's in particular.

"And the other part?" you ask quietly, looking away.

"Honey, becoming pack omega fer yor moms was one of the hardest and easiest decisions I ever made. I love yer moms," you watch their faces through his declaration, both putting a comforting hand somewhere on him, "and they gave me all of you pups. If Price is as good an alpha as he is a Captain, if 'e's a guiding hand for his pack, then you couldn't have a better mate. In the end, trust your omega."

And that's the crux of the matter isn't it. Your omega has been scratching at your hind brain all afternoon because she wants to take Price up on both offers as soon as possible, but you need to be smart about optics and your career.

You tell your parents you love them and thank them for their honesty, promising to tell them what you decide before the ink dries. You end the call with a few minutes to spare before dinner and take that time to pull your emotions together.

next

[kaisaerinlover]

michael kaiser ^__^

tw: not much just previous abuse

he’s so gentle today, you know he’s probably having a tough day, practice might have been difficult; and his head in general. kaiser has a hundred years worth of trauma, and you do too. maybe it’s why you’re together. you want to fix his and he only makes more for you, but it’s okay, you’re both fine with this arrangement, “if you weren’t you would leave” he always told you. it’s okay if he cracks your fragile porcelain skin sometimes, because it makes the sparse instances where he is tender so much more sweet. but it makes the next day bittersweet too. the next punch. next insult. next round of manipulative whispers in your ears. all of them end up being bittersweet after the softness he displayed just the day before. but it’s okay.

you’re laid together on his bed, he probably had a long day at practice. “tell me, schatz;” he starts. you perk up to listen, your eyes boring into his. his eyes look so different right now, but you can’t pinpoint what it is. “why are you with me, hm?” he asks, his voice wavered a little, but he still sounded confident as ever. you’re still looking into his eyes, how come they aren’t the same as normal? “because i love you a lot” you retort back. his eyes, it’s not the colour that’s different, they’re the deep shade of blue they always are.

his hand on your cheek, kneading it and pinching it softly is enough to snap you out from those thoughts about the sudden difference in his eyes. “why?” it’s a vulnerable moment for kaiser, he usually doesn’t ponder things like this. “how do you love someone like me?” he adds. how DO you love someone like him? it’s a good question, even though you’ll only admit that in the furthest corner of your pure soul. you love him because he’s perfect. he’s so perfect for you, and you think you’re perfect for him. you like his eyes. what is it about them that’s different? the shape is the same?

“i like you as a whole” you answer back to him. it’s not a lie, you like everything he has to give you. you like the way he calls you from another room. “prinzesschen come here” and you like those mean words and punches he hurls at you at times. you like the star striker of bastard münchen and you like the remnants of the broken child inside of him. he holds your hand and squeezes it a bit “i love you my baby, love you so much” he’s looking deeply into your eyes, can he tell you’re wondering what’s different? “i love you the most”

“would you ever leave me?” it’s a hard question to answer, but yet again, you wouldn’t ever admit that to yourself. why would you ever admit there’s a possibility you might leave him? he’s pretty mean at times, most of the time, almost all of the time, but even then, it’s not enough to make you leave. nothing is. is he scared you’re going to leave? you aren’t sure. you bring your hand to his hair and play with it in your fingers, turning his golden locks in circles that amount to nothing, just harmless fun for you. “never in a million years” what is wrong with his eyes anyway? you can see your reflection better in them now, why is that?

moments like these are rare. laid in bed with your boyfriend holding hands, playing with his hair as he cups your face in a manner that suggests he’s scared of shattering you, his doll, this is so so rare. it’s almost like you’re a normal couple, both of you enjoy this normalcy, even though only one is to blame for the poor dynamic of your relationship. “wenn du mich verlässt was soll ich dann tun, meine klein prinzessin?” he asks you. “sie sollten nicht einmal darüber nachdenken denn es wird nie passieren das verspreche ich” you retort back. you smile at him and he smiles back for a second.

his smile fades and you almost flinch for what’s to come. maybe a black eye. but all you get is his face buried in your neck and a weird wetness there. your boyfriend is sniffling into your neck, michael kaiser is crying into your neck. you pat the back of his head and shh him soothingly. ah, that’s what was different about his eyes, they were glossy and wet from the tears threatening to spill over and ruin this moment. but it’s okay, it’s not ruined. you squeeze him tightly, in a loving way of course, you squeeze him enough that he doesn’t feel scared about you leaving anymore, not for now anyway. he quietly cries into your neck and you let him, because what else would you do. kaiser is just as broken as you. you like this rare moment of vulnerability, as bad as it sounds. kaiser is really human, isn’t he? the same as you.

right now, you are not adults. you are the same two broken children you always have been, you were before. you’re kaiser’s sweet angel hugging him after he scraped his knee playing soccer at the park. you kiss his head sweetly. it’s hard to not feel bad for him, how can you not. all he is right now is that crying little kid. and he sees you the exact same way. maybe that’s why he was so gentle today, because all he saw is the girl from his kindergarten class, the shy little thing from his class, the one he vaguely remembers, yet didn’t notice her until he dug deep in his memories again.

he’s asleep eventually, still in your arms, and you’re almost there, and you feel the most comfortable you have in years. your insides are soft and you’re content. tomorrow isn’t promised, who knows how he’ll act tomorrow. but who actually cares? you’ll take this small victory for tonight, maybe he’ll be nicer tomorrow if you’re lucky. but even if not, the tear stained shirt and the faint sounds of his sniffles are enough to get you through anything after this.

he’s just human after all, yet you are his little angel

german translations

“what will i do when you leave me my little princess”

“nothing because it won’t ever happen i promise”

sorry for using actual german:< i just prefer those phrases in german since it’s my first language and i like these sentimental valued phrases better in german anyway hehe hope u enjoyed if u read it ♡

[loveandleases]

Full Disclosure, I went through PAGES of tags to find the Pregnant-by-Chris!MC asks so I could revisit the angst, and it also got me wondering. How would the ROs react if MC ended up pregnant with their kid? And with regards to the F!ROs and trans ROs, how would they react if THEY got pregnant by MC? I'm down with this going in a fluffy or angsty direction, as you gathered from my search for the previous asks about it, so answer however you like!

Oh noo. I swear I'll get to work on the masterpost so you can find things easier, it's been a long time coming and I need to stop procrastinating. I feel like I did this ask before...but I'm not positive. So I'll do it again with how the RO's have developed. Below the cut~ (Tagged with pregnancy for those who don't want to read.)

❤️ Cam - Ec-fucking-static. At first. Cam would be so pleased because finally his own family. Not that MC and Em weren't already. He would give all of his love to his child, unlike what he got from his parents. Then there would be the problem. What if he's just like his parents? What if he's unable to love them the way they need or support them when they need it. MC would have to have an honest heart-to-heart with him.

💙 G - Very nervous at first. There are a lot of things to consider such as school and childbirth. Is their current living space even safe for a kid? And what if MC or G has more than one kid, it's possible. G would need a bit to kind of come to terms with it. Once they have, G is golden. They're happy and don't bother to try and hide behind their cool demeanor.

Now if ex-G/MC had gotten pregnant. It would be so painful for them, because would MC want to be in the picture or would MC allow them to be. If the breakup still happened and MC had gotten with Chris, G would fight with everything they have to see their child, or to give MC the chance to see them. (it's bittersweet)

💚 Kara - So she would be scared more than anything. Happy comes way later, once she's sure this is what she wants. Because for Kara, she doesn't really get to make her own decisions so much of her life is decided for her. If her first real big decision is having a kid, she's going to ace it. First off by having a chat with her parents (who would to overstep), then MC's parents. About what is allowed and isn't. The grandparents don't get to dictate the pregnancy, the childbirth, the child. If they want to be involved then they will be expected to abide by Kara and MC's wishes or be cut out. That simple. (She will buy too many baby clothes ahead of time, it will be a problem)

💛 M - What!? Excuse you, whose pregnant? With a baby? Like an actual human being? How did this happen!? (This is M's reaction regardless of whose pregnant. )MC has to remind shocked M how in fact that did happen. In which case M turns blood red and refuses to look at MC until they've calmed down.) M is going to go through 5 stages. 1 being shock, 2 being really shocked 3 understanding 4 go back and repeat step 1, 2 and 3. 5 acceptance. Leading them all the way to joy. M will take a good bit before they get through those steps, but when they do they're happy, nervous but happy. M isn't sure how to deal with kids. If they have one should they just go ahead and have another too? M will want to call their mothers' immediately. Get some info about raising a kid and what to expect. They will order far too many books about kids and what to expect when you're expecting. (take their computer for their own good)

💜 Isaac - They very well might have a breakdown, and it's not due to not wanting to have a kid with MC. It's more of knowing that you're not promised forever, as someone who lost their mother. Isaac is going to take it hard. Because she will never get to see her grandchild, and Isaac will never get to have that moment with her. Now onto how they feel outside of that, Isaac will struggle. Because they realize they have something else to lose, and to someone who is afraid of committing due to that it's not an easy situation to be in. They would need reassurance, that this is what MC wants. That they'll work hard, and together will do their best for their child. Isaac wants to be there for everything, every checkup, every milestone. All of it. Proudest parent ever.

🖤 Ardent - The amount of breeding jokes to be told : 14. The amount of tears shed: Over 50. Which he will deny with every breath. They're happy tears. Happy to have a family with MC, happy for his niece to have a cousin to navigate the world with. He is too happy, so cocky. Rubbing MC's belly, giving it so many kisses. He did that, him! Can you believe it? Not to mention, Cupid is going to have to take classes now. That's the first step, Cupid learning how to behave around babies. Ardent is very big into reading, he will overread though. Like MC is going to learn the nitty gritty just like he is. Oh, and they'll probably have to move if they're currently living in the apartments. To a place with an actual yard, the kind his parents had back in Greece. MC will be spoiled, because Ardent will cook every meal. He will ensure MC doesn't have to life a finger, or even Cupid if they feel like they can't. He would be a great dad, plus he has been saving up dad jokes. I apologize ahead of time.

[bucksboobs]

Tell me about the hot pilot

“So…” Maddie smiles, like a proud mother if Buck’s being honest and she shimmies like a big sister. “Tell me about the hot pilot.”

Buck ducks his head. What is there to say besides what he already has? Tommy is interesting, he’s confident, he has a cleft. “He’s just…” he can’t stop smiling already. “He’s.” Maddie is smiling too. So big and bright. “He’s amazing Maddie.”

“Ok so how did this,” she waves her hands at Buck’s general (lovestruck? Too soon for that. Infatuated) Infatuated demeanor, “all happen?”

“Right, so remember when I was acting like a teenage girl?”

“And you nearly broke Eddie’s ankle?”

“Right.” “That night, after Tommy got Eddie back from the hospital I was like…” he sighed to admit it. “Sulking, because I felt like I had both lost my best friend and make an absolute fool of myself in front of Tommy and Chimney. He shows up at my door, and he looked so handsome Maddie, he has these beautiful blue eyes.” Maddie laughed a little. It wasn’t cruel. She was enjoying Buck being smitten. “And he’s as tall as me but somehow wider. It’s.” He stops himself. He isn’t sure how far he can push it but it’s hot. He thinks Tommy’s hot (not that anything will happen there now but Tommy still is hot). “It’s very attractive.

“You can say he’s hot, Buck.”

“He’s so hot, Maddie.” He huffs it out. It feels good to say to anyone. “I fucking blew it, but he’s so hot.”

“He might come around.” She offers.

“I said we were going to go look for hot chicks after the movie. He’s gay.” Maddie sucks her teeth. Yeah. He’s not getting out of this that easily.

“But anyway. He comes over and we’re talking and he’s telling me how he’s not trying to replace me. That Eddie and him aren’t pushing me away. He tells me that Chris can’t shut up about me.”

“Wow so he’s a smooth talker.” Maddie says.

“So smooth. And—and my heart was beating so fast. I could hardly breathe and I thought it was just because I was tense but.” He takes another deep breath. “So I tell him I’m sorry for being jealous and he says he was jealous too.” Which Buck still struggles to believe but Tommy was jealous of him and Eddie and Hen and Chim.

“Of…?”

“The 118. He was there for a long time but it wasn’t a family and now it is. You know I think of Bobby as more of a dad than I do our actual dad.”

“Which is fair.” Maddie admits.

“Anyway I tell him that he is a part of the 118. That he saved Bobby and Athena with us and he made stupid fake mouth static.” Buck’s head falls as he remembers it all over again. “And I start like actually flirting, telling him how I wanted to get to know him and thought he was cool and I wanted his attention.”

“Wow.” Maddie says, again.

“Yeah.” He says sheepishly. “Wow.”

They laugh together, brother and sister, free and happy. It feels like something they should have had a long long time ago.

“I tell him you said that there are better ways to get someone’s attention and he. He fucking kissed me.” It plays again in his mind. “It was so sweet and tender but like forceful and confident and… sorry.”

“No no go on!” She puts her chin on her hands on the counter.

“I feel like he rebooted my entire code. Like I went from Windows 98 to Windows 10 or whatever the current one is. It was amazing and.” Buck sighs. Maybe he is a little lovesick. “He asks me out.” It’s a little bittersweet knowing that the date Tommy asked him out on ended so embarrassingly but his memory of moment was still honeyed and saccharine. “Just like that. He asks me if I’m free Saturday and I jumped at it.”

“I bet.” Maddie’s glued on smile becomes a little wry. “Sounds like he did a number on you.”

“And I blew it.” Buck pouts.

“Hey, don’t count yourself out yet.” Maddie says. Reaching her hand to touch his shoulder. “My little brother is a charmer, he’ll be thinking about you for a while.”

“Thanks Maddie.” Buck says. “This was nice.”

“Oh I am very experienced in talking about boys. We do it again some time.”

“Let’s.”

[seattlesellie]

could you make bff!ellie catching you masturbating and says something like ”i can help you if youd like” bc you couldnt climax when you do it yourself

caught ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

an: pretty self explanatory. nsfw, mdni please. part one of two!

yet another droplet of salty—sweet sweat fell on your top lip. you couldn’t get there, couldn’t you? no matter how hard you tried, no matter how hard you rutted against the fabric, the position your pillow was in— folded, to the side, with the tip; you just couldn’t do it. you couldn’t cum.

a pitiful whine fell from your lips. should an unfamiliar passerby chance upon the scene, they might have assumed that you were tormented, in agony.

the bittersweet twist in your stomach was truly just a tease. almost there, almost, in a fleeting moment— vanished into thin air.

would it be wrong to say that you looked absolutely pathetic? it probably wouldn’t be, it would be nothing but the truth. with your panties hung loose around your ankles, your toes curling inside of your soft white socks, your body feverishly oscillating back and forth, then sideways, tracing circles— and then just straight up humping, it was sad.

“oh— please, please!” you mewled, better yet, cried out.

perchance, you could get there if you pulled your erect nipples, if you pinched them just right, that tormenting tension would finally dissipate. you hastily took your pajama tank top off and threw it on the floor. you pulled on the swollen buds, twisted them slightly, only to elicit a shrill cry that escaped your lips.

“mmph— god!”

you were supposed to meet ellie at 4:30pm. or was it 4:15? 4:20? you wouldn’t know. the clock was ticking, and there you were, grinding yourself helplessly against your soft pillow. tick—tock.

it’s 4:13.

4:14:

ellie knocked on your apartment door. once, then twice, and finally she pressed the buzzer. she was starving, her mouth salivating, and the scent coming from the pizza box wasn’t helping in the slightest.

she buzzed it again, and to her dismay, no answer.

“ugh, cmon” she huffed, knocking forcefully again.

what were you doing? in the bathroom? showering? you must be busy somehow, with your earphones in, maybe?

you said 4:15pm. she wasn’t very forgetful, especially when it came to you.

biting down on her bottom lip, ellie remembered there’s a spare key conveniently tucked beneath the brown “welcome!” carpet. she knows this because you told her, when she walked you home, tipsy and giggling after a night out.

“right” she mumbled, balancing the large pizza box on her left hand. she bent down, and she was right. she remembered correctly— a spare key. as ellie swung open the door, she was greeted by an empty living room.

“hello?”

she paced around. maybe you were hiding underneath the kitchen table? pulling a prank on her? you goof.

“pizzas here…” she melodically chimed.

“and i'm… here too”

she pondered the possibility of someone having broken into your apartment and kidnapping you. could that be?

ugh, ellie. quit being so dramatic.

ellie placed the pizza box right on the kitchen counter, and began walking towards your room. maybe you were napping, that sounds like a much nicer thought. when the image of you cuddled up inside a fuzzy blanket popped into her mind, she chuckled. cute.

oh how terribly wrong she was.

you pressed against your pillow, causing the bed to emit two distinct squeaks.

ellie's head swiftly turned to the side, her steps growing closer and closer to your room. so you didn’t get kidnapped... you’re in there. jumping on the bed, perhaps?

as a high-pitched whimper escaped your lips, reaching her ears as if tethered by an invisible string, her heart sank. she was dangerously close to the wooden door now.

her breath caught in her throat. you were fucking somebody.

it was muffled, but the bed creaking and the whiney sob? her head was spinning in circles, palms itching and sweaty. not only did you completely forget about your plans, you were in there— letting someone fuck you. she didn’t even know you were seeing somebody. she didn’t even know you were doing that shit and that sweet, blissful moan? she dug crescent marks onto her palms as she clenched them tightly.

it was wrong. it was painfully wrong and creepy and perverted, but ellie had to see. she had to know who you were letting inside your bed, but she wasn’t about to interrupt. all she did, was twist the doorknob carefully, the door opening far enough for her to see, but still not enough for you to notice.

oh.

oh.

with your bare back on display, and your ass squished against the pillow— ellie felt like she was going to faint. your sweet, frustrated moans filled the room and ellie blinked so many times she was having a sensory overload.

this has to be a dream, she thought. one of her crazy ones, the only ones she doesn’t tell you about. her throat felt dry, and she had to swallow hard. ellie took a shaky breath in, and she nearly groaned. you were desperate, she swore she could see a sweet droplet of sweat flowing down your back.

ellie’s first instinct was shutting the door and leaving.

for the first time in her life, ellie didn’t listen to her instincts. she stood there, mouth agape, toes curling inside of her chucks.

“pleasepleaseplease, unggh—“ that little moan was so high pitched and sweet and ellie felt dizzy, faint, awestruck. she dug her trimmed fingernails right into her jeans covered thigh and pinched. this is a dream, ellie— wake up.

“oh god!”

wake up, ellie.

you got down on your elbows, and you dragged your aching clit all over the pillow. the bed squeaked again. she could see everything, the swollen button, your tight hole and your ass—

wake up, ellie.

“fuck” she huffed, and you still couldn’t hear a thing, too busy and too in trance, poorly trying to get yourself off.

when you humped the pillow again— ellie’s own clit pumped. like a faint heartbeat, she felt a dull ache growing and growing.

she stood there; dizzy, disgusting, turned on, like a peeping tom.

she should leave. she has to leave. why can’t she leave? her feet are glued to the floor and she can’t walk, paralyzed.

she could walk out of here and pretend it never happened. she could go home, rub one out, rub it again till it hurts and then see you the next day. this could be normal, she could be normal about this, can’t she?

“fuck!” you gave up. you weren’t getting there, this wasn’t happening today. you weren’t going to cum and you had to deal with it. slowly, you steadied your breath and grabbed your phone. it was 16:24, where is she? you decided to text her.

“when are u coming over? i’m starving”

ellie’s phone buzzed in her pocket and she nearly choked. there she was, frozen, staring.

thankfully, you didn’t hear it. in fact, you couldn’t hear anything— your ears were still pumping.

ellie swiftly took her phone out of her pocket and noticed her hands were shaking, it nearly slipped out of her grip. she shouldn’t answer. she should pretend that she had forgotten, she was napping, at the gym, working on something, god knows what. she shouldn’t answer.

but she did.

“give me 20 minutes, was at the gym”

you chuckled, and when you went to scratch your chin with your shoulder, ellie thought you were turning around and she nearly collapsed.

“lol u renewed your membership?”

oh shit. she cancelled it last month. her jeans felt too tight and her face was on fire and now she had to lie, again.

“yeah”

even as she typed— she couldn’t look away. your ass was on full display and it was something she had to burn into her memory. she would never see you like this ever again.

“i don’t believe you”

oh fuck.

“send proof ellie… need to know ur not just lying and hanging out with toxic stacy again”

is it possible that she completely forgot who you were talking about? was she that delirious?

“omg wrong name lol 🩷 i meant samantha”

oh, her.

is samantha’s pussy this pretty?

oh, she’s sick.

you giggled and adjusted yourself on the pillow again. when you laid completely down, ellie’s eyes rolled back.

“i’m at the gym… not lying, weirdo”

you sighed, and ellie heard it. the fact that she could hear every single one of your reactions to her texts made her cringe but it also made her feel something she’s never felt before.

“send a gym selfie then”

you weren’t intentionally flirting. it was purely innocent on your part, just that. you needed to know she wasn’t lying. why did her stomach flip?

she knew she had to have one. she knew she had to have at least one picture of her at the gym. she must have sent something back then, maybe to cat. cat loved her blurry gym pictures, the ones she sent her with the bottom of her tank-top in between her teeth and her toned abs on full display. she found it— after two whole minutes of aimless searching and scrolling. just what she thought, her abs, slightly sweaty and glistening, her thin happy trail, and her boxers peaking out from her sweats. she sent it so fast and she didn’t even think—

you stared at your screen. fully stared. your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, why did she… that picture was… suggestive. your best friend is a weirdo and she’s also making your tummy feel like it’s being swarmed by angry bees.

“i believe u now :) see you in 20!”

ellie felt like punching herself in the face, but before she did, before she closed the door and got the hell out of there— you did something that was so unfathomable, she nearly went cross eyed. with ellie’s picture flashing on your phone, you began grinding again. the moan that fell from your lips was guttural, ravenous.

this wouldn’t even be the first time, wouldn’t it? getting off to the thought of your best friend?

this time, when the pillow met your clit again, you were wet and slimy and you seamlessly glided onto the plush fabric. you knew, deep down, that you could get there this time. if you were looking at her, at her sculpted abs with her shirt in her mouth you could actually cum. you didn't even bother thinking about it, about how wrong it is. she would never know, so what's the big deal?

this time— ellie has to wake herself up somehow. this was the sign, the only one that helped her make sure she knew that she was absolutely dreaming.

if this was, in fact, a dream— ellie would coo at you. she would walk over, ever so slowly, lift you up, help you get off of the pillow, and hold your hand. "poor thing, need my help?" when you'd nod, shed guide your body up and down and teach you just the right moves. shed take you by the waist and help you slide, suck on your nipples and look at you. occasionally— she would stop on her nibbling to mutter "all you needed to do was ask me, pretty girl"

but this isn't a dream. ellie knows this isn't a dream because she checked the time on her phone and a minute had passed and she knows it doesn't work like that in the dream realm.

would it be wrong if she slipped her hands right into her pants?

"please, ellie"

you moaned her name like you were ashamed. like you knew she was right there and she could hear you. what would you do if she was?

when ellie heard the whine of her name slip out of your mouth, her phone dropped down to the floor and hit it with a thud. for ellie, it sounded louder than a brick.

you turned around fast, you thought a vase had fallen. when you caught her gaze, because ellie couldn't. fucking. move— you weren't embarrassed. you were too mortified to be embarrassed, you screeched and you didn't speak. neither did ellie.

your lips were trembling and her hands were sweating profusely. you've never seen her look like this, she's never seen you look like this. she opened her mouth like she was going to speak, but she didn't. she stood, frozen.

you don't know when you managed to grab the blanket and wrap it around your body but you did.

she opened up her mouth again, but only a soft "ah" noise escaped from it.

"when d—did you..."

"just now" she lied.

"and you stood there f—for..." you stuttered. now, the embarrassment finally hit.

"i saw" ellie managed to speak, somehow.

she saw?

"w—what?

"i saw"

what did she see? your heart was beating fast. you’ve never felt this vulnerable, this exposed. what did she see?

you couldn’t speak. you wouldn’t dare. embarrassed, not able to make any eye contact with the green eyed girl, you stared at the floor.

“i think…” she stepped closer to you, and she kept her gaze on the floor as well.

“i can…”

another step. closer now, dangerously so.

your entire body trembled.

she looked up at you, finally.

“help”

[buckrecs]

2023 𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 3

masterlist | ✨- fav fics | status - completed

All of them are COMPLETE Series.

1. Galavano by @ichorai

Bucky x Reader

a series that follows the hero galvano through the events of the mcu!

2. Time (D)rift by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor

Dark!Bucky x Reader Apocalypse AU

The end has come and gone as you keep waiting for your own.

3. Uncontrollable by @fictional-affairs

Bucky x Widow!Reader

The year is 1992. The Winter Soldier is under HYDRA’s control, and the Red Widow is under Dreykov’s control, but when they find out their organizations are working together to have them kill each other, they decide to make a deal.

4. The Lake House by @rustytricycle

Dark!Bucky x Dark!Reader

You decide to spend the summer before Freshman year of college with two of your girlfriends at one of their parents’ lake house. It turns out that Captain America and his two best friends are staying next door. Bucky thinks you might be his perfect girl. But are you too perfect?

5. turn a blind eye by @sergeantxrogers

Bucky x Reader

The Winter Soldier was cold. Brutal. Unflinching. A machine formulated to comply. Bucky Barnes was the sun warming your skin, your happy pill. Loving him was like bittersweet liquor, sickeningly sweet when you sip, harsh and burning when you swallow.

6. Rooftop Sessions by @forever-rogue

Bucky x Therapist!Reader

Y/N is a therapist that works with war veterans that ends up meeting a mysterious stranger who asks for her help.

7. it’s all fun and games, until you catch feelings by @prettyyoungtragedy

Bucky x Reader

You’re pining after Steve and Bucky is pining after Nat, what better way to distract yourself from those two perfect humans than to distract yourselves with each other?! Fuck buddies it is then.

8. oh my delightful heart by @prettyyoungtragedy

Sequel to it’s all fun and games

Bucky Barnes is the sweetest dumbest most adoring boyfriend any girl could ever ask for... 

9. Follow My Lead by @ciarawritesmarvel ✨

Bucky x Reader

You and your new friend Wanda are enjoying a day together at the Avengers Tower, her giving you a tour around the place when you both run into the infamous Bucky Barnes. Moments later, he’s introducing you to Sam as his girlfriend and placing a kiss on your temple and you’re not sure you’ve ever been so confused in your life.

10. The Maid of Mr. Barnes by @disasterofastory

Mob!Bucky x Reader

You get a job as Mr. Barnes's maid. You heard about the notorious gangster, but since you desperately need money and a place to live, you are not in a position to be picky.

11. Guiding Light by @wkemeup ✨

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Get the intel and go home. Until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by Hydra. While you struggle to stay alive and hold your sanity, Bucky begins to lose himself to a darkness and gives into the soldier because he doesn’t know how to breathe without you. Not until he brings you home. If he even can.

12. Home | Better by @softlyspector ✨

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Bucky comes home from his second tour overseas, after a long time away from the reader.

13. Mad For You by @i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Nat hosts a costume masquerade. Bucky meets the Alice to his Hatter. Shenanigans ensue. 

14. Sanguis Sanguinis Mei by @captainscanadian

Vampire!Bucky x Vampire!Reader

It took Bucky Barnes two centuries with the blood of his blood to realize how much he loved her. This is their story. 

15. Another World by @sinner-as-saint

Alien!Bucky x Reader

In a futuristic world - a millennium from now, you and your team rescue and care for stranded and hurt otherworldly beings; who are held captive and kept on Earth against their wills. You save them from the bad guys who exploit them. You help them adjust to your planet’s life, and give them their freedom back. Then one day, while on a rescue mission, you come across a human-like extraterrestrial being; in a cryogenic chamber, with a missing arm. And nothing is ever the same again…

16. Picking Up The Pieces by @gogolucky13

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Bucky chooses to stay in his tumultuous relationship knowing you’ll be there to pick up the pieces, until finally you’re not.

17. Knight In Rusty Armor by @revengingbarnes ✨

Knight!Alpha!Bucky x Queen!Omega!Reader

For the sake of politics and to get rid of you, their omega daughter, the King and Queen of England marry you off to the King of France. Settling into an unfamiliar monarchy is a tedious process all by itself, but a new problem arises soon after your arrival at your new home. One of the Knights turns out to be your true mate. Your Alpha. The one you are meant to be with. But you’re mated to someone else. And that someone else is the King of France.

18. The Escaped Bride by @marvelouslytrekking

Pirate!Bucky x Reader

Being forced to marry someone was not something you wanted, but when it turns out that it is to your best friend, who you secretly loved, things weren’t so bad. Unfortunately, good things don’t seem to last and when the worst happens, you refuse to sit around and be miserable. Will you find true love again, or will your life be turned upside down?

19. Plot Twist by @winterarmyy

Mafia!Bucky x Reader

An arranged marriage with mafia!bucky.

20. The Road Goes Ever On and On by @rocketrhap3000 ✨

Bucky x Single Mom!Reader

Life as a single mother of a three year old certainly has its struggles. But when a sweet stranger makes his way into you and your little boy’s life, a one of a kind connection sparks.

21. you’re my desire by @marvelouslizzie & @notafunkiller

40s!Bucky x Reader

Your best friend drags you out on a double date. You were supposed to be Steve Rogers’ date but plans change pretty quickly and you end up in Bucky Barnes’ arms.

22. Death Do Us Part by @sgtjbuccky ✨

God Of Death!Bucky x Mortal!Reader

For centuries, the God of Death had known two things about mortals. One, they were his job, his to collect when their days came to an end, and two, they were obnoxiously odd beings. Their purpose ceased to make sense to him. Never did he understand why they created a life for themselves, why they loved, why they loved other mortals when they knew that none of it would last forever. It was nothing but sheer stupidity, but that was until he met you. A mortal unlike any other. A mortal that would make him question everything. A mortal that would teach the God of Death how to live.

23. Lost In Each Other by @majestyeverlasting ✨

Dad!Bucky x Mom!Reader

For Bucky, one of the best things to come home to is family. Especially after a day at work. So he's pleasantly surprised when you want to show him a new dress after dinner one night. And it just so happens that little Eden and Jamie find a way to work themselves into the equation. But it all makes for good fun and memories you will never forget.

24. Fight For Me by @littleseasiren

Bucky x Reader

After years in an abusive relationship, you finally get out. When the Avengers decide to raise awareness for your Battered Women's Home, you bump into Bucky Barnes, the hottest, most complicated man you've ever met. He thinks you're too good for him, but when your abusive ex reappears, Bucky knows he has to keep you safe - by any means necessary.

25. call me baby by @cherryrogers ✨

Biker!Bucky x Reader

Returning to Brooklyn for the summer after a year of travelling from city to city, you hadn’t expected to find your best friend, Peggy Carter, hopelessly in love with a biker, and when she decided to introduce you to the rest of his club, you hadn’t expected to fall for one either — that was until you met one with pretty eyes and a habit of calling you baby.

26. Static Verse by @theconstantsidekick ✨

Bucky x Enhanced!Reader

Tony Stark's sister's a fucking badass, codename—Static. Here's her story through the MCU.

27. Bygone by @borntobewondering

Bucky x Reader

You and Peter get sent back in time, and you fall in love with someone unexpected.

28. Clockwork by @aries-writingblog ✨

Bucky x Reader

Bucky has moved on. He’s found a place in the new world of the 21st Century. Found peace. But the past is always half a step behind him, waiting to snatch him backwards- like clockwork.

29. Deny the truth, set the world on fire by @lizatill

Bucky x Reader, Dark!Winter Soldier x Reader

He knew that she was having an affair...she denies, but the love marks on her body are still there. She can't tell him the truth, it will break him - the Winter Soldier is indeed inside of him, fucking her at night and Bucky doesn't remember.

30. Carnations by @viollettes

Bucky x Reader College AU

It’s a simple concept: Students can buy flowers for each other at the carnation sale. Red flowers are for love, pink flowers are for friendship, and white flowers are for expressing secret admiration. A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

[venustrvck]

BALCONY SMOKE

· · ────── ღ ────── · ·

OLIVER AIKU x M!Reader

wc: 1.1k

tags: SFW, confessions, m!reader, fic is written Oliver's pov, Oliver and reader are teammates, smoking, also rip sendou's nice wooden railing, the party confession on the secluded balcony nobody asked for, mentions Oliver's relationship issues, there's a lot of unspoken shit here that's between the lines bc Oliver both doesn't admit shit to himself and Oliver and reader have a familiarity that naturally plays off of each other, bittersweet but hopeful (?)

Oliver finds you on the balcony, elbows folded above the wooden railing. He carefully slides the door shut behind him. “Hey, the party’s inside.”

“I know,” you say and your voice is quiet against the backdrop of the night, only slightly louder than the music's muted thumping coming from inside the apartment.

Oliver frowns. You hadn’t moved at all, not even to shift your head to look at him as you spoke.

He walks towards you, until his back is against the railing, cocking his head to look at your face, “So, what’s up?” he asks.

“I’m fine, Captain.”

Your eyes are still fixed ahead of you — to the sky — and if he didn’t know better he’d think you were star-gazing. He does know better. The light pollution is too strong and it’s drowned out all your favourite ones.

“Lying to your Captain now?” He asks, then shrugs to himself; if you don’t want to tell him then it’s none of his business, “Well, keep your secrets.”

His hands go to your back pocket, pulling out your smokes and a lighter. This time, you do turn to look at him, and he grins at you as he lights the tobacco.

He takes a drag.

You heave out an irritated sigh. It’s the most emotion you’ve shown since he came out to find you. “It’s just noisy in there.”

It is. Sendou’s parties usually are.

Your eyes cut to him again when he doesn’t respond, and it might be none of his business, but he’s a nosy and meddling captain. Sue him.

You seem to realize that he’s waiting you out by your — second — irritated sigh and the following hair ruffle. You speak, “It’s really just noisy. I’ve had a lot on my mind the past few days, I needed a moment out to think and clear my head. The music wasn’t… helping. It’s really nothing.���

You say it like you’re pulling teeth but the words come out honestly enough.

Oliver should probably drop it, you’ve indulged his meddling long enough, and it’s clear that you don’t want to tell him what’s on your mind even as you’ve divulged the rest to him. He nods and looks away from you, taking another drag of your cigarette. He’s not so willing to let it go, but like this, if you don’t want to speak… you can spend the rest of your time out there in silence and if you do then he’s here and the gesture isn’t discouraging. You can choose to pick up or drop the conversation as you see fit.

You seem to misinterpret his actions though, because the next words out of your mouth are. “It won’t affect my performance on the field.”

“I’m not worried about your performance on the field.”

You were professional to a fault; he’s never worried about your performance on the field. You always show up with your best and nothing less.

“Then what are you still doing here?”

Oliver scratches his cheek, right over his beard, “Smoking?” He offers.

“No, you’re still being nosy. I just don’t get what for.” You turn to look at him again, eyes boring into him, “Captain, what are you so worried about?”

What is he so worried about? It really does seem that all you need is a breather, and that you’ve got this, whatever it is, well-in-hand. You can handle yourself. “Smoke with me?” He deflects.

Your eyes search him for a moment, and he doesn’t know what you see but you snort, holding your hand out, “They’re my cigarettes to begin with.”

He grins around the one in his mouth and shrugs, taking a cigarette out of your packet — on the railing to his right — he places it in your hand.  He cups his hands around it and lights it for you.

You take a drag and exhale smoke silently into the night.

For a few moments the only sound between the two of you is the music Sendou’s glass door fails to contain and the quite exhales of smoke. You stay like that for a while... leaning on the railing in opposite directions and smoking into the frigid air.

“Captain,” You say, breaking the silence, “You like guys, don’t you?”

Oliver’s heart thumps.

“I’ve seen you checking my ass out in practice,” fuck, Oliver thinks, “Which is fine really, I’ve worked really hard for it,” you continue, heedless of his budding panic — and wait what, hold up, you worked hard… for your ass?

You take another drag of your cigarette, casual as anything, and Oliver is — he’s not as composed as he’d like to be for this conversation.

“Captain,” you say again, turning to look straight at him, “I’m in love with you.”

You sound serious. Dead serious.

“I’ll break your heart,” he rasps.

You’re still looking at him with those eyes, and in the field that look spells death for your opponent. You have that in common; those analytical eyes. In that moment, Oliver knows that you’d brought up him checking you out to pierce through his defenses. You wanted no pretenses for your confession.

He wonders if this is what’s been on your mind. He wonders when you decided to tell him. He wonders what him saying that as his first response, unguarded, reveals to you.

“Turn me down.”

Your voice is calm, even as the words are challenging.

Oliver winces. He can't.

Your expression softens as you look at him, and you step closer, extinguishing your cigarette against the railing. It’s wood, it’ll leave marks, Sendou is going to yell at you for that later.

You bring your hand up, and your touch is gentle as it ghosts over his face and his beard. He extinguishes his cigarette so Sendou can yell at him too. “You don’t have to answer me,” you say, “I don’t need you to.”

Because in that moment, Oliver realizes, you’d read his emotions on his face and in his words. He exhales and his eyes shudder close. He doesn’t lean into your hand.

“It’s unfair to you.”

“Yes,” and the way you say it so plainly cuts him. “That’s why I won’t make any promises. If I get the chance to move on… I’ll take it.”

His heart aches at that, and as terrible as he is, he finds solace in the fact that your voice had sounded equally pained saying it.

“But,” you continue, “If you stop being afraid, and I still," you cut yourself off, "Come to me. I’ll be there.”

He doesn’t trust himself with you. But, maybe, one day… he’ll be a man worthy of you. His hand comes up to hold yours, and he gives you a crooked smile, “Don’t wait up on me.”

“I don’t intend to,” you respond, returning his smile.

His heart feels light.

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 41 all chapters

WARNINGS FOR THIS FIC: NSFW, SEXUAL CONTENT, VIOLENCE, YANDERE SH!T. Plz take care. I luv u all. 😘

41. reprieve

John is inscrutable as a rock, up until the moment you return to your room, and the door shuts behind you. You don’t get a moment to process what just happened in private, because he grabs you up in those strong arms and devours you. His relief is palpable–you feel it in his kisses, in the tremor that runs through his powerful frame, and the desperation with which he holds on to you. 

“That was—so fucking–sexy,” he tells you between pressing his mouth to yours. 

You cling to him, trying to think back. It all happened so fast. You realize a part of you has been wondering this whole time if your quick actions had in fact been a fuck up–there are rules upon rules and nuances upon nuances governing this strange and forbidden world–you are but a baby here. A mere cell. A gob of primordial ooze–and you have learned to fear a great deal that which you do not know. 

“I didn’t–get us–into more trouble?” you ask, stunted by voracious kisses and his big hands squeezing the breath from you. 

“No more than I did,” he assures you with his forehead pressed to yours. “I think…” He laughs, a rare and ragged sound, after your ordeal, “That we really are free to go.” 

“Is that what Winston said?” The hotelier and your intended had exchanged hushed and private words together on the roof, while you looked out over Manhattan, you hoped, for the last time for a while to come. 

It isn’t that you don’t trust John. But you have come to understand that Winston was right, when he said the subtler machinations of this shadowed world sometimes escape the blunt instrument that is your beloved John Wick.

“Yeah.”

You hug him then, holding him to you, your nose buried in the warmth of his hair behind his ear. You don’t want to, or mean to, but the magnitude of it all comes crashing down, and you begin to cry. Quietly, not for attention or even comfort, but because you just can’t hold it in anymore. You are so stealthy that some men might have ignored it, pretended it never happened, but not John. He is attuned to your every tell, and he kisses your cheek and holds you, knowing exactly what you need. 

After your tremors have subsided he sweeps back your hair to kiss your forehead, his soft lips such a soothing balm. “Do you want to stay one more night, just for fun?” he asks, and you offer a watery smile in return. The opulence of this place has been like a trip to faeryland for you, or an extended stay down the rabbit hole. Glittery and exotic and goddamn if you haven’t had your fill of it, maybe for a lifetime. 

“Honestly? I just want to go home.” 

He nods, understanding all too well. “Ok. Let’s pack up.” 

“Thank you.” You kiss him, a lingering taste, which leads to another, and then his hands are under your shirt, finding the warm hollow of your spine, and then lower, and he is walking you backwards until his weight is pressing you down into the cloud of a mattress, and you are all too willing to let this man have his way with you, to give him shelter in your body, in your arms. Maybe to everyone outside these walls he is A Killer, The Baba Yaga, The Boogeyman, a tool, a legend, a nightmare, a vengeful ghost…but to you, he will always be the man who loved you beyond reason, or measure.

And you, him. 

It takes you a while, to finally get to putting things in bags, but when you are finally settled into the passenger seat of the Rover with Dog in the back and John at the wheel, it is with the warm glow of a woman who is pleasantly surprised she is getting everything in life she’s ever really wanted.  

[pollymorgan]

Teacher Negan - The Football Game - Part 6

Warnings: Of course, there's still a big age difference and Negan is an asshole.

My night was short. Damn short. It wasn’t planned that I would sneak back into my hotel room at dawn. But things turned out that way, and it was worth every moment.

I probably just had the hottest night of my life. We made the most of finally sharing a bed again after months of only having desks, benches, or random gym equipment. Oh man, how many times did I come home on Monday after "gym class" with bruises because Negan accidentally pushed me against some bar or edge! But this night was simply heavenly. I can’t stop thinking about it. But now that I’m arriving at my room, I feel a bit queasy in my stomach. What if Layla isn’t asleep anymore? It’s not easy to find an excuse for being in your pajamas in the hotel hallway at 4 a.m.

As quietly as possible, I open the door, and it’s literally a weight off my shoulders when I see her sleeping peacefully. Phew, lucky me! I tiptoe to the bed and carefully climb in.

“What time is it?” a very sleepy voice asks, startling me for a moment.

“Way too early... let’s go back to sleep...” I whisper as softly as possible, but my answer isn’t needed anymore. I hear her snore lightly again.

When I wake up, it’s already bright in the room, and Layla is standing in front of me, dressed and brushing her long wet hair.

“Wow, good morning sleepyhead, finally awake? We didn’t even go to bed that late yesterday...”

A bit disoriented, I look around, and immediately, rather steamy images from last night flood my mind, quickening my pulse.

“Ah, I don’t know... must have been pretty exhausted!” I lie, stretching my limbs. Then I slowly push my blanket aside and head to the bathroom. With each step, I can still clearly feel that bittersweet ache in my core. Negan promised me last night that I’d hardly be able to walk afterward, and he was right, I think, not able to suppress a grin.

After I’ve showered and brushed my teeth, I put on a gray jogging suit and head to the breakfast room with Layla, who’s already waiting impatiently for me.

When we arrive, of course, we are the last ones. The room is already filled with the clattering of dishes and loud conversations.

I grab some food from the buffet and sit down with a few guys at a table, who are already signaling with hand gestures for me to join them.

As I approach the table, I notice they seem to be having a great time over something. I take a seat and curiously ask, “What’s so funny? I want to laugh too...”

Liam speaks up, "Oh, those two have the room right next to Mister Smith's, and apparently, things got pretty hot last night..."

Once again, they can hardly contain their laughter. My expression freezes, and I can barely get a word out from shock as I quickly try to collect myself.

"What, him? He probably just had his porno turned up too loud!" I try to respond as coolly as possible, noticing my cheeks starting to flush.

One of the guys wipes away tears from his eyes that have formed from all the laughter. "No, believe me, Sam, that was live. We could almost hear everything! Mister Smith seems to really know what he's doing... Now we've been speculating for a while about who the lucky one was..."

"Hmm... maybe it was the receptionist... you know, the one with the gray floral blouse? She looked like she might have a few tricks up her sleeve..." I say, hoping they don’t notice how hard my heart is racing in my chest.

My suggestion sends the guys into another round of laughter. It really seems like they have no idea who was actually in his room. Lucky me again.

- A month later -

My friendship with Layla, Liam, and a few others from the football team continues to grow stronger. These days, I spend not only my training time with them but also all my free time.

Of course, I can tell that Liam has a huge crush on me, and I can’t help but wonder what the whole situation would look like if I didn’t have Negan. But my feelings for him are far too strong, even though I know that there’s no future for us. But sometimes, reason simply has no say, like in this case.

Today is Wednesday again, which means it's training time, and it's becoming clearer and clearer that Liam truly has incredible talent. He is by far the strongest player on the team, and I have a blast cheering him on.

My girls and I have already finished practicing our choreography, so we have a few minutes left to watch the guys. Okay, my gaze is mostly on the coach. I love it when Negan wears his sports gear, focuses on observing the players, and yells out instructions. I could watch him for hours. Involuntarily, I bite my lower lip as my thoughts drift away. Only the sound of his whistle brings me back to the here and now.

"Alright, guys, that's it... training is over for today!" Negan announces, and at that moment, Liam joyfully runs up to me and sweeps me off my feet, spinning me around in a circle. I can’t react quickly enough and let out a startled laugh.

“And how was I?” he asks beaming with joy.

“Just as amazing as always!” I reply as he sets me back down on the ground.

“Don’t you think I deserve a kiss?” he says, holding out his sweaty cheek.

Without hesitation, I intend to give him a kiss, but at the last moment, he turns his head toward me, so my lips land directly on his mouth.

Startled, I pull back. “Hey, that’s not what we wagered...” I say, shoving him hard on the shoulders, which only earns him a cheeky grin.

After we change, we all say goodbye to each other extensively at the sports field and make plans for our next meeting over the weekend. While some are still smoking a cigarette, I take a quick glance at my phone.

A new text from “Mister N.”

I turn slightly to the side and open it immediately. “You better wait for me, we need to talk!!!”

He never has time for me after training, probably because his wife is always waiting for him at home with a cooked meal. That makes his text all the more strange to me.

I automatically start playing with the necklace around my neck that Negan gave me, which I have worn ever since.

Layla throws her cigarette on the ground and stamps it out. After she blows out her last puff of smoke, she reaches out her hand and asks, “Are you coming?”

She drives me home every time after training, and we always have an incredible time going over everything in detail.

“Oh no, um, just leave it... I think I’m getting a headache. Maybe I should just walk home today, it’s not far, and it would probably do me good...,” I stutter.

She looks at me in disbelief. “At this time? Nonsense! Take a pill, and that’s that...”

"No, really... it would be better..." I try to justify myself. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder and hear a very familiar voice behind me.

“I can drive Samantha... it's right on my way..."

Shocked, I turn around and look directly into Negan's face. He is freshly showered, his hair neatly slicked back. He has his sports bag slung over his shoulder and is now wearing a simple pair of blue jeans and a green t-shirt.

“You?!“ Layla asks, surprised, while I feel the questioning looks from everyone else standing around us.

Negan begins to grin, “Why not? Do I look like a damn serial killer?”

I shrug, “Well, if it's on the way... I mean...”

Negan just turns around and walks ahead. “Well, make up your mind, girl; I don't have all day..." he calls back.

Somewhat skeptically, I look around and then say, “So, I’ll see you guys at the latest on the weekend...”

After a quick goodbye from everyone, I hurriedly follow him, still hearing quite loud murmurs among my friends. They only think he’s driving me home, they have no idea, I try to convince myself.

Negan walks silently in front of me, and I have a hard time keeping up without having to run. As soon as he gets in his car, he starts the engine, and I barely manage to take a seat in the passenger side before he drives off.

"And now?" I ask him somewhat nervously, as I can’t gauge the situation at all.

Negan stares straight ahead at the road and says unfazed, “Now I drive you home!”

I buckle my seatbelt and also avert my gaze from him. “You wanted me to wait for you. Why?”

A jolt goes through me as Negan abruptly slams on the brakes at a red light. Then he looks directly at me, “Is he fucking you?”

I stare at him in disbelief, “Excuse me? Who do you mean?”

"Oh come on, don't play dumb, it doesn’t suit you!" Negan replies as he accelerates way too fast again.

I continue to stare at him in confusion because I truly can’t find words to describe the entire situation.

“That greasy guy, Liam... are you two sleeping together?” Negan asks, clearly irritated.

I slowly begin to get angry, and a big lump forms in my throat. What right does he have to be upset with me?

"And if so, what then? I didn’t know we’ve sworn loyalty to each other. I mean, after all, you're married too!" I blurt out provocatively, crossing my arms defiantly over my chest.

Suddenly, there’s such a silence in the car that it feels worse to me than any harsh word or false accusation.

I don’t want to argue with him, especially not over something like this. That's why I'm rowing back with my answer. 'But it's not like that, nothing is going on between Liam and me, really...' I add quietly.

'Leave my wife out of this...' he murmurs almost inaudibly.

For a while, I study his profile and then, feeling a bit shy, I place my hand on his thigh. My fingers slowly trace up and down his jeans as I observe every little reaction on his face. He tries to hide it, but I know him pretty well by now. He starts shifting a bit in his seat, which makes me smile.

'I only want you...' I whisper softly, leaning a little closer to him as far as my seatbelt allows.

He glances at me for a brief moment, and our eyes meet for a few seconds. But that little eye contact is enough to make my whole lower body start tingling like crazy.

'Then show me... show me how much you want me...' he challenges me, and I don’t have to think about it for long.

[miumura]

( 🧥 ) HIS BEIGE SWEATER — JAKE SHORT FIC

[ DAY THREE ] of the advent calendar !

( 🧥 ) SYNOPSIS . you still remember, the 3rd of december, where he gave you his sweater. you would never forget that day.

( ˙ᵕ˙ ) PAIRING . jake x gn!reader ~~ WC 0.8K+ ( 827 )

( 🧥 ) GENRE . fluff, angst, realized too late kind of thing 😪

( ˙ᵕ˙ ) WARNINGS . INSPIRED BY THE SONG “HEATHER” BY CONAN GRAY , nothing but bittersweet

( 🧥 ) NOTE . IK NICHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NEXT, but i had the random urge to write jake angst … AND ITS DEC 3RD, I HAD TO WRITE TO HEATHER FOR THIS EVENT !! so … yes … here we are … sorry nicho and jake my baes 😢

"Hey YN!" Jake greets with a wave, sprinting toward you as he spots you seated on the porch steps. You respond with a smile, reciprocating the friendly gesture. When he reaches you, he comes to a halt and promptly takes a seat beside you.

"Hey Jake," you shiver slightly, rubbing your arms. He catches you, suddenly adopting a serious expression. You glance in his direction, finding him crossing his arms, which elicits a small chuckle from you. “Now what, Sim Jaeyun?”

“Okay, not you pulling out the government name!”

“Sorry…!” You smile, both knowing it was a playful tease, and he acknowledges it with a grin.

Jake playfully scolds, "Anyways, you should have worn something warmer, YN. Like seriously, just a long sleeve shirt in a weather like this?"

You chuckle, "I didn't expect it to be this cold, honestly. I was just out to get some fresh air.”

Without another word, he removes the sweater he’s wearing, and hands it over to you. “Here.”

“Huh?”

“Wear it,” he insists, still holding it out to you, patiently waiting for you to take it from his grasp. He shoots you a slightly confused expression, wondering about the source of your hesitation. “What? Want me to help put it on you or something?”

He grins instantly when you finally take it from him, though you still appear a bit hesitant. “Are you sure? You’re going to be cold, y'know.”

“You’ve been out here longer than me. I can deal with it for a bit.”

You ease into the sweater, still hesitant. "Are you sure about this, Jake?"

“Yeah, I’m sure. You can borrow all my stuff for all I care,” he responds nonchalantly.

“Oh well… thank you for the sweater, Jake,” you hum, taking in the light, sweet cologne that lingers on his beige sweater. As you glance at your side, you make eye contact with Jake, surprised to find him still looking at you. “Um… what are you looking at?”

“It’s nothing—it looks better on you than it ever could on me,” he smiles.

Curiosity piqued, you inquired, "What makes you say that?" Jake grins, his eyes holding a playful sparkle. "Because I like you, YN."

Because I like you, YN.

How you wished you could go back to December 3rd 2022 just to hear those words once more.

In that moment, you wished you could express everything you feel. To tell him how much you like him — his smile, his presence, his jokes — to lay bare the evidence of your affection, to confess that what you feel goes beyond mere liking; it's love.

Sighing, you snap out of your thoughts, glancing at your home screen—December 3rd, 2023. You can't help but wonder if he would give you his sweater again, though the chances seem unlikely. “YN!” a familiar voice calls out, and as you turn around, there's Jake, wearing the same smile and surprisingly, the same sweater from that memorable day. It feels like deja vu, a moment echoing the past.

“Hey Jake,” you greet, a smile playing on your lips. In your mind, you wonder what he might ask of you this time, a curiosity tinged with a hint of anticipation. How you wished you could experience that day once more.

This scenario feels too familiar, and you can't help but grin at his concern, secretly hoping for a repeat of the sweater gesture. "Well, you know, I didn’t think it would be that cold again," you say, stealing a glance at his familiar beige sweater.

He catches your gaze, a mischievous smile forming. "Speaking of which, do you think I look good—" he asks, pointing to his sweater.

Caught off guard, you blurt out, "I’ll take—" without thinking, momentarily forgetting your initial expectation of getting the sweater. “Wait, what?”

“Huh?” he says, clearly confused.

“Nevermind…what were you saying?” you awkwardly say, realizing you got ahead of yourself.

“I was asking if I look good 'cause… you know, I wanna impress her.”

Oh.

You should’ve known.

“Oh—yeah, yeah. You look great,” you respond, a hint of bitterness coloring your words.

"Thanks," Jake grins, seemingly satisfied with your response. Just then, he spots someone in the distance and without much explanation, he hurries off.

Confused, you follow his gaze and realize he's approaching another person, a girl who was wearing the same amount of layers you had that night. She was pretty, you had to admit.

Observing from a distance, you witness Jake taking off the sweater and handing it over to her. It feels like a familiar scene, as if you're reliving the same moment from a different perspective.

A pang of self-realization hits you. There's no right to be jealous; after all, it was your opportunity to seize, and it slipped away before you could even grasp it. Regret settles in as you reflect on the missed chance, contemplating the unspoken feelings you've harbored for Jake.

If Jake only knew how much you loved him.

💭 — ok but why jake lowkey sucker by jonas brother coded … sorry guys im Like brainstormining

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

[mrradmccoolman]

hello everynyan!! it's baby's second (?) tumblr post. i present to you:

ELLIOTT'S ANDERPERRY SONG ANALYSIS

okay, so, here's the gist of it: i have an ever-growing playlist on spotify of songs i feel fit neil, todd, or their relationship as a whole. each song is not only one i like, but also has lyrics that represent something specific about them. this sort of thing is something ive done for multiple characters for a long time, and ive always had carefully curated reasons behind my choices. i just recently got back into the dps fandom, and thought this would be a good way to not only show how i see the characters, but also become a part of the community on Tumblr myself :)

i will not be doing every song simply because i do not have the time and the playlist is way too long for that, but i'll definitely be choosing some favorites. i'll most likely just post whenever i feel like it, so i can't promise any sort of a timeline. this is just a little project i thought would be fun, especially considering the fics im working on take me ages lol 😅

sooo without further ado: song number one is....

Habanero by Rosie Tucker

i've been listening to a lot of rosie tucker's music lately, and this song really stood out to me as a todd/neil song from neil's perspective. one of the reasons i connect so much to neil as a character is because i see myself in him, and subsequently how he handles what i see as a very real depressive disorder throughout the movie. this song makes me think of his feelings and relationship with todd in canon, how he sees himself and todd, and the bittersweet-ness of loving someone in the "wrong" way.

"...you said "this never happens to me, this never happens" but you smile while you suffer so you're lying or wrong" this lyric encapsulates a big part of neil's perception of todd, especially towards the beginning of the movie. it specifically reminds me of the "what do you mean no?" scene and the argument they have leading up to it. it also alludes to todd's poem scene in front of the class and neil's reaction to it. he sees todd as saying this sort of bewildered, in awe, "this never happens to me," because, well, for todd, that's how it feels. he doesn't speak in front of people, he doesn't share parts of himself like that. i actually believe he didn't even really write poetry on his own before keating's class, either, so even writing at all is a big step for him- never mind showing others. we know todd hates public speaking and being perceived (although it's a lot more complicated than that, but i won't get into it here) so he "smiles while (he) suffers" because even though this is something he hates and feels so much shame about, a part of him is amazed and happy he did it at all. thus the "you're lying or wrong" from neil- i see this as neil recognizing that actually, knowing todd, this isn't the first time he's done something like this like he might think. in truth, todd says and does beautiful things like this all the time. though todd sees himself as dull and embarassing, neil sees the truth. we often think of neil as recognizing todd as a diamond in the rough, but people are more complicated than that. really, todd has always had this beauty inside him- this is just the first time he (and everyone else) has gotten the opportunity to really see it. neil feels vindicated in a sense, because he knew it was there.

"i'm never happy, but i've never been better" i feel this lyric is pretty straightforward when it comes to neil. he has depression, which makes it so so hard to feel happy, even when you think you should- and most of the time, neil doesn't even have those moments. todd isn't some cure-all for his problems, and certainly doesn't make his depression go away, but he's a huge aid to neil. he's the one person who really sees him. even if neil still isn't happy in the traditional way, he still feels better around todd. another thing i could get into buttt this post is already gonna be long enough as is lol.

"i need to see you sweat" i feel this one is also pretty self explanatory. it's sexuality and desire, something neil has likely not felt to this level before. especially when you're depressed, it's hard to feel any sort of desire. i feel that any thoughts neil would have would already be pretty vague because of his internalized homophobia, but this would be similar to the way he would allow himself to verbalize his feelings. there are a lot of great fics out there that i feel really encapsulate this well.

"wouldn't we be perfect together if we wanted exactly the same thing?" i would argue that the majority of the fandom kind of accepts neil's feelings for todd as pretty obviously requited, even though interestingly enough, from an outside perspective i would actually argue neil's feelings are the most obviously canon. not that i don't definitely believe todd feels the same, nor do i think this is a bad thing- it's just that the entire movie revolves around identity, and neil's passion for acting serves as a metaphor for queerness pretty obviously, and beyond that acting is associated with queer identity as a whole, another reason behind mr. perry's aversion to it. neil doesn't know if todd feels the same as he does. even if things may seem obvious to us, this isn't "normal" for the time period and so i believe wholeheartedly that neil didn't know todd had any feelings for him. was this more his own self hatred, him protecting himself, or that anything he saw that may have alluded to reciprocation he convinced himself was his own mind playing tricks on him? probably a mixture of all three.

"but i smile while i suffer like a sucker supreme" even though neil knows this won't end well, that his feelings are "wrong" and this is hurting him in the long run, he can't help himself when it comes to todd. he's a sucker for him and the feelings he gets being around him.

"all at once i'm a child trapping tadpoles in a cup, and i know they'll never make it (...) but i smile while they suffer 'cause i want it so much" neil knows being in the play, being with todd, and defying his father is a losing game. he knows, on a distant level, that he'll never get away with it. maybe during the play he finally, for one gorgeous moment, truly believed things would change- but then his father shows up and proves he was right all along. he knows he's doomed, that todd was right to doubt his plan to lie to his father in the first place, but he wants it so badly he doesn't care (or, more than that, he feels so incredibly trapped that he's given up and has resigned himself to the consequences). not only this, but his depression has made his latching onto the one thing that gives him hope even more intense. to be ripped away from this, the only thing he's ever wanted- the only person he's ever wanted- is the end. he knows that. even so, even though he can see the futility of it all crumbling beneath him, he sees the fall through.

"i can't believe i'll die before becoming a frog" there's a sort of disbelief in his resignation to death in his final moments, a darkly humorous "i can't believe it's come to this, that this is really happening" despite not really being surprised. neil is cutting everything short and throwing away his potential before his father gets the chance to do it for him. he'll never "become a frog" in so many ways- never get to live for himself, never get to become an adult, never get to act again, etc.

well...that was very long! if you've made it to the end of this post, i hope this was as fun for you as it was for me :)) i'll definitely be doing more of these as time goes on!! let me know your thoughts!!

(the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Fh97W8EItmoJHjQvjsBl4?si=WoH7J5GHTfmt3v7OuqbHnQ&pi=6x2g03n8Q1Knc )

| next ->

[defuckingthrone-dot-com]

One more night gone 🌻

Summary: Based on the song Hello, I’m in Delaware by City & Colour. Navigating the hardships of having a rockstar boyfriend and feeling just a bit small when he's away on tour.

Pairing: Noah x Reader

TW: talks of being sad and alone.

AN: maybe someday I’ll write something longer for now this will do? Lol I might make these into a little series. I have another one of these with another song that I love that I’m working on as well. @concretejunglefm has seen my WIP list, and I hope I can get all of my ideas into something cozy and fun for yall to read.

Divider by @bernardsbendystraws

READERS POV

Watching Noah go on tour was always a bittersweet feeling for me. I loved seeing him accomplish all of his dreams and having the time of his life. I loved seeing him so happy about doing what he loved. But I also i hated that i felt so alone when he wasn’t around. Yeah I had family and friends that I could easily call to come over but it didn’t fill the void that I felt when he wasn’t at home with me.

“I will see you again” I heard through the speakers of my phone. I was currently on FaceTime with Noah, I admití that I wasn’t really paying attention to anything that he has said to me in the last 5 minutes.

My thoughts where hazy and I was feeling under the weather ever since he left for tour a week ago.

“Babe…are you okay?” I heard him ask me with a bit of concern in his voice.

“Sorry..I just.. it’s so dumb. Forget it, how everything going?” I asked trying to change the subject.

I indeed felt dumb even bringing up the subject of how I felt, I didn’t want him to feel guilty for doing what he loved.

“Y/N you do know you can tell anything..right?” Noah asked making a long pause to make sure I would answer.

“Yes I know, I just don’t wanna make it seem like the end of the world” I paused for a moment “ I miss you so much you have no idea, I just feel so little when your not around.”

I could see the apologetic look in his eyes, and it broke me even more to think that it was he might have felt a bit guilty for leaving me.

“Please don’t think that I’m saying all of these to make you feel guilty or any of that sort.” I said “I love that you get to do what you love and I’m so proud of everything you have accomplished, I just wish I was able to go with you this time around” i let out a little laugh trying to subside the little ache growing inside me.

Noah took a breath before speaking to me again.

“I know baby, I miss you too, I wish you were here with me” I could hear his voice break as I looked intently at his eyes through the screen. “I don’t want you to feel alone, 17 more days and I’ll be back home”

I didn’t want to continue on the subject because I couldn't even stand myself when I got overwhelmed with my feelings. So we continued to talk about everything else that had been going on since he left.

But in my mind 17 days felt like a lifetime, a lifetime without Noah. 17 days without getting to see his face, 17 days without waking up to him in bed. 17 days of not being able to have his intoxicating scent around me.

For now I laid in bed, I had put on one of Noah’s t shirt, which fit me like a dress, but for now is the only way I could feel close to him. It made the wait for him a little more plausible.

NOAH’S POV

It had been almost an hour since my FaceTime call with y/n and all I could think about was her sad eyes. I hated not being able to be by her side.

I know the feeling of being alone and small all too well because I too felt the same when she wasn’t around. I always had this internal battle with myself of whether I should take a step back and be more involved in our relationship.

The boy and I were currently heading to the next city on our tour. We had 17 more days to go. 17 more days till I get to see her beautiful face.

“You okay, man?” Jolly asked, a bit intrigued.

“Uhh yeah, I’m alright” I said giving him half a smile.

“Doesn’t seem like it, do you wanna talk about it?” Nicholas chimed in emerging from the bunk area of the bus.

“I'm really okay, it’s y/n” I said

“Is she okay, what’s wrong?” I heard Jolly’s voice again with a tone of concern.

“Physically nothing. Mentally she’s having a hard time being alone” I took a deep breath. “I don’t like being away from her so long”

“I get it, it's tough being far away from our loved ones, but we gotta be strong,” Nicholas says, grabbing my shoulder.

“Yeah I know, sometimes it just feels like my life is passing by, with every exit sign, with every departing flight. It’s hard with so much time apart” I paused for a moment. “Sometimes my body aches and it hurts to say”

I could see the sympathy in both of my friends faces but I appreciate it the most that they were listening to me and I could vent to them without any sort of judgement.

“…. And I wish I weren’t here tonight…only tonight I wish I could be with her. But this is my life” my voice almost breaking. ”I don’t want to sound ungrateful I love what I do, I love what we do together, but sometimes is tough on both of us not being able to experience it together”

“Don’t worry Noah we will be home soon, and hey maybe next tour she’ll come with us” Nicholas says with a smile on his face.

“Yeah I hope so, thanks guys for listening to me” I tell them both.

“We’re here for you” Jolly tells me while he stands up and heads into his bunk.

While the rest of my mates where already asleep in their respective bunks I was in the living room area of the bus. Taking all of the scenery that's passing by through the window. I saw the sign which read we were already in a new state.i decided to text y/n before I went to sleep.

Hello, I’m in Delaware. 16 more days till we’re together. I love you. ❤️

[black-amortentia]

A Shower of Sparks | Festivities - Snolidays 2023

Severus Snape x Professor!Reader | Warnings: Secret relationship, fluff and maybe a little angst because FEELINGS, I finished and edited this through a migraine, so please forgive any failings!

This is my story for week four "Festivities" of Snolidays 2023! This is the final part, and we get to see a little more from Sev's POV this time. Though all parts can be read independently, there is a bit of a story linking them all together.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

--

Although half the students had gone home for the holiday, the Christmas feast was elaborate and mouthwatering as ever. Roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin juice, and a variety of other delights. The Great Hall filled with a hum of conversation instead of the usual cacophony, which was bittersweet to Severus. While less noise was less likely to give him a headache, it made his conversation with you more likely to be overheard. He would have to be careful of his words.

Being careful around you had grown increasingly difficult.

Not that you had noticed. Severus was always a master of his emotions, even when you were alone. You thought nothing of his silence, pulling him into your conversation with Professor Sprout.

“What about you, Severus? Do you miss spending time with your family during the holidays?”

“No.”

A quick, terse answer, as usual. It was a part of your subterfuge, making a show of how Severus was just as impatient with you in front of everyone. Though this interaction served as a reminder that you knew nothing about Severus’s family. If you thought about it, how much did you really know about him at all?

Under the table, Severus’s hand found your thigh. The perpetual chill of his hand seeped through your clothes, his hand just resting there. A few soft movements of his palm stroking up and down. At first, you thought he was simply in a hurry to be alone. When you saw him take a bite out of the corner of your eye, you realized he hadn’t finished his meal. You reached for the jug of pumpkin juice, brushing his shoulder with your own.

When the feast wound down, Dumbledore approached his owl lectern. “As another successful Christmas draws to a close, I invite you all to assemble outside on the lawn for a final Christmas surprise.”

The hall erupted into murmurs of surprise and curiosity. You shared glances with your fellow teachers, but it seemed this surprise was for faculty as much as for the students. None of you had the foggiest.

As people filed out of the Great Hall in, you fell into step beside Severus. “Can I speak with you for a moment?”

Severus slowed his steps, allowing others to fetch hats and scarves and scurry outside. Neither of you spoke until you were alone.

“Yes?” Severus drawled. His hand went to your waist, eager to touch you while he had the opportunity.

“This seems like the perfect time to give you this.” You withdrew a small package wrapped in brightly colored paper. Severus raised an eyebrow as you presented it to him.

He faltered, looking down at the object between you as if it would bite him if he moved too quickly.

Gifts? Severus knew it was Christmas, but he had not expected there to be an exchange of gifts. Severus wasn’t even sure when he’d last received a gift.

“Don’t just stare at it. Open it before someone catches us.”

Severus pulled apart the wrapping paper, letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor when he saw what was within. A pair of soft, black leather gloves with an elaborate design of a snake embossed on the back. Severus was speechless. His lack of response brought a smile to your face. You had hoped to surprise and impress, and it seemed to succeed.

“I have nothing for you,” he said quietly.

You waved your hand. “I don’t care about that. I just saw these and thought you might like them.”

Severus stared down at the gloves, coming to his senses and pulling them on. He’d been wrestling with his feelings for you, struggling to understand what he wanted, what he could have with you. Wondering what you truly felt for him. Surely you didn’t care deeply for him. He wouldn’t deserve it, even if you did.

Your relationship had grown deeper over the holidays, but this gift made it clear. You really did care. Enough to keep him in your idle thoughts, enough to bring him gifts and cheer, even when he thought he did not want such things.

There was something Severus knew you wanted, something he hadn’t been able to give you. Out of fear, of a desire to protect you, he held back. Severus wasn’t sure if he could do that any longer. Maybe the best thing he could give you in return was a piece of himself.

“My mother.”

“Hm?” You turned to him, questioning, as you retrieved your scarf.

“You asked earlier if I miss my family during the holidays. I miss my mother.”

You paused your movements, your hand darting out to take his. This was the most Severus had ever opened up to you, and you would not take that for granted. “I would love for you to tell me about her.”

Footsteps down the hall caused the two of you to break apart. You flicked your wand, vanishing the wrapping paper on the floor, and busied yourself with your scarf.

A few Gryffindor boys walked past, heading for the lawn. “I think Snape’s trying to catch someone under the mistletoe. Only way he’s getting a kiss,” one of them joked, not as quietly as he seemed to think.

“Hold your tongue, McLaggen, or next time it will be house points,” Severus snapped, his voice dripping with malice. He shot you a disparaging look, driving his point home.

Frowning, you ducked your head, stung by his cruel tone. Severus preferred to keep things private, but sometimes it felt like he didn’t want the relationship at all. Staying secretive, holding you at arm’s length, sometimes pushing you away. Even those times when you were alone together, when he showed you the side of himself he kept hidden from everyone else, Severus felt closed off. You always respected him and knew he had his reasons, but sometimes it left you wondering.

What exactly were you to Severus Snape?

With the moment you were sharing thoroughly ruined, you finished bundling up. “Don’t want to miss the surprise,” you commented, following the students out to the lawn.

But your eyes said it all. All the hurt and uncertainty contained within your gaze. Severus picked up on your emotions, but his Legillimency confirmed it. Flexing his fingers in his new gloves, he followed silently after you.

Severus had once ruined the most important relationship in his life by saying the wrong thing. Was he on the path to making the same foolish mistake?

The lawn was dimly lit, students and teachers milling about. Severus stood just behind your shoulder, black cloak concealing his movements. He took your hand, lacing your fingers together. His breath lifted your hair when he whispered your name. “Perhaps we can speak later?”

You squeezed his hand gently in return. Severus didn’t hear your whispered response. He had come to a realization. If this continued, he could put you at risk. Severus had seen the Dark Mark on his arm growing stronger. He couldn’t let you be a weakness, or let you fall into danger because of him. No matter how much you meant to him, it would be selfish to keep you without telling you the truth. A truth he could never tell you.

But he couldn’t keep you at arm’s length forever. Severus knew he would lose you. Sometimes he already felt you slipping away. You deserved more than a man who only gave you part of himself. Would it be better to end things now, before he made it more painful for both of you?

Severus had to decide.

A sharp whistle pierced the air. The crowd fell silent, looking to the sky.

A crimson firework shot up over the turrets with a trail of golden sparks, exploding in a massive sphere of red and gold that lit up the night. The sparks became a red and gold Gryffindor lion in a ferocious roar. When it faded, a similar display followed for each of the houses and finally the Hogwarts school crest hovered above the sky.

While everyone watched the skies, Severus watched you. Eyes sparkling in the light of the fireworks, lips curved into that smile he delighted in. The way you held his hand in the darkness, sharing the moment together, even in secret.

Severus decided.

With a swift tug on your arm, Severus turned you around and pulled you against him. His lips found yours in a searing kiss, hand snaking around to the small of your back. Forgetting all about the fireworks, you leaned into Severus. You didn’t care if someone saw you, just as Severus didn’t seem to.

There was something different about this kiss, though you couldn’t put your finger on it. It somehow held more than your past intimate moments. More emotion, intent, care, more of everything Severus. When you finally broke away, he held your gaze, eyes filled with a resolve you’d never seen before.

“I love you.”

Severus’s voice was barely a whisper, and you felt the words more than you heard them. It didn’t diminish their strength in the slightest.

“Sev…”

“I have many things to tell you.”

Severus could never tell you everything, but he could tell you some things. You deserved all the truth he could afford.

“I want to hear all of it.” Maybe you weren’t expecting the story you would hear, but it didn’t matter. Nothing would change your mind - or your heart. “I love you, too, Severus.”

Abandoning the fireworks, Severus led you back to his quarters. He had every intention of giving you the truth he owed you, but maybe after one more kiss.

A reminder of what he would fight for in the times ahead.

[jullbnt]

@aikoiya The post was getting too long so I’m replying here, hope that’s okay! If anyone is looking for the beginning of this discussion, it's here.

Your extended pantheon is amazing! I just knew that Gàlondo would end up being Demise haha. I'd say I prefer not to associate Demise with any race in particular (and the Gerudo already have quite a heavy burden with Ganondorf), but otherwise I like that backstory you came up with. So what's Hylia's role in your version then if he’s the guardian of the Triforce? I'm curious ^^

I'd say my reasoning isn't so much "I hate this" but rather "this doesn't make sense/contradicts something else" or "previous games did this better". I also want to show that it's still possible to create stories without ignoring everything that was established previously because to me this idea that the timeline is too restrictive doesn't stand. In fact I tend to believe being a bit restricted and working inside a frame can trigger more creativity (after all they did wild stuff like flooding Hyrule before and it fits perfectly in the timeline). I also would prefer to see the existing lore extended or clarified instead of them adding new confusing stuff and leaving it extremely vague.

Oh I LOVE your Outset Timeline!! Though the ending is indeed very bittersweet. It always makes me so happy when someone else points out the inconsistencies in Skyward Sword's story. That's exactly my reasoning for my fourth timeline, it exists because of Ghirahim and Link's victory over Demise in the distant past. Though you are right, adding a timeline split while keeping the Master Sword in the official timeline requires some gymnastics! At the moment I'm going with a lazy theory about the Sealed Temple being the future Temple of Time, so the Temple's magic somehow allows the Master Sword to exist in both timelines (I said it was lazy haha). Impa’s bracelet is another story though. In my timeline the Goddess Sword is also left untouched in Skyloft because Skyward Sword doesn't happen, which could be useful in case someone accidentally broke the actual Master Sword 😁 It's very intriguing to me that Sky left the sword in the past when he had no reason to (and it shouldn't even be possible since it's in the exact same spot as Zelda's crystal). It's probably just a mistake on Nintendo's part but I like to think there could be something else there, and that Fi had a reason to stay in the past.

About the DLC items the thing is that most sets are found in the Depths in random Zonai chests if I remember correctly, or in the coliseums, and there was no explanation as to how they got there. In Misko's little shrines we find the Fierce Deity set and the LA set, but also the barbarian armor, the shock-resistant outfit and the climbing gear. I can understand building shrines for the Fierce Deity or LA Link following what you said, but then for three random armor sets? Not to mention that Link already owned them in BotW, so making us look for them a second time was kind of a joke. I like this shintai/yorishiro idea, but I think it would work a lot better if there were only a few items to collect and not… the outfits of all the Links ever INCLUDING WILD'S (how!!). It feels really meaningless and more like a catalogue for you to choose from so you can look like your favorite Link (which is a bit insulting to Wild, you can just replace him at this point and go as far as changing his hair or even his entire appearance with the LA set). I also didn't really believe they were the actual items from past games, it made no sense (the same way Link wouldn't actually wear a red Nintendo Switch t-shirt or something from Xenoblade). It just really felt like fanservice.

The dictionary thing might help, but I think the story should be explicit enough on its own and I don't really want to study Buddhism/Shintoism in depth so that I can play Zelda games and understand what's happening haha. I mean of course it's fine if knowing a bit about it adds new context and all, but if you can't understand things like malice vs. gloom without it then I think it's a bit of a problem. Speaking of Fujibayashi I feel like this wasn't really an issue before he was in charge.

Yes the French translation for Demise is very misleading, that's another problem: depending on your language things are sometimes interpreted very differently.

I really like the English names for the three dragons, I think they're so much better than what we got in French. Nedrac, Ordrac and Rhordrac, really?? At first I didn't even understand the link with the Goddesses, and then the last two sound way too similar. Btw I remember from my very basic Japanese courses that it's common in Japanese to create new words by mixing a few syllables of other words together. For example "rimokon" means remote controller (remo + con), or there's the well known Pokemon = pocket monsters. So naturally we end up with stuff like Ordinn + dragon etc.

I thought as well about the dragons going by names given to them by mortals instead of their true names. The thing is, I don't really want to create new names because I'm already changing so many things and my timeline stuff can be a bit complicated, so I need to keep at least a few things familiar. And I really like Dinraal, Farosh and Naydra :D

I agree about Farore being more associated to wind and plants than thunder (I mean she's kind of Link's patron goddess and he has nothing to do with thunder). What's even more confusing in BotW/TotK is that the Gerudo are now also related to thunder for some reason, but they're definitely more Din than Farore in my mind.

Maybe I should give you some context about my dragons haha. The beginning of my story is quite similar to TotK, though I still made some changes. Ganondorf completely destroys the Master Sword, Link looses his arm (except here Rauru isn't there to replace it), and Zelda still travels through time (but not because of a Secret Stone since I got rid of everything Zonai). She arrives in ancient Hyrule one century after Sky killed Demise (because this is set in my alternate timeline), and she's stuck there so she needs to find a way back home. Before that she learns a lot about SS, the Triforce, the timeline split and Hyrule's past. After meeting various characters and most importantly Sonia (who's still a priestess, the Sage of Time and her ancestor), Zelda learns that this era has two Master Swords: the one left by Sky in the Sealed Temple, and the Goddess Sword that is still somewhere above the clouds. She understands then that she needs to retrieve the Goddess Sword in Skyloft and forge a second Master Sword in order to help her Link in the future, and to do so she needs the three Sacred Flames. Where are the flames? The dragons "swallowed" them since they weren't needed anymore after Sky left his own Master Sword, which turned them into the giant immortal dragons we see in BotW/TotK. So that's Zelda's quest: find a way to go to Skyloft and then get the dragons to lend her their power. Along the way she'll also meet the ancient Sages, who can help her return to her own time by using the Triforce (but of course this won't work because of Ganondorf, and Link will have to fight him in the present and bring her back himself).

I'm trying to make this both a story I could adapt in comic form and something that could work as a game. The idea is that Zelda's memories would be playable sequences with places to explore, fights and maybe even mini-dungeons and bosses. And of course there's an entire story for Link as well. At the moment I'm trying to come up with interesting arcs and quests for each race/Sage, both in the past and the present.

Anyway, that's why I'm so focused on the dragons. Zelda (and Link) will need their help and they will talk this time. And since they will remember being apointed by Hylia and they're supposed to absorb their respective sacred flames, I need things to make sense. This is also a timeline without climate change in Lanayru (here it's the same province as in BotW with the addition of Mount Lanayru and a good part of central Hyrule), so the thunder dragon has no business being up there. That's why the swap would make sense.

No need to apologise! I appreciate your perspective and that you're interested enough to share your own ideas! :D

I agree on Zelda's magic being her own and what you said makes sense! Love the part about her only thinking about how she's a failure (though I guess it's only natural if she's been trying for 10 years without result). I don't know if she would have had the same reaction had she witnessed her father's death though. AoC isn't canon but Zelda doesn't unlock her power when Rhoam "dies" in front of her and Link forces her to run. The memory where's she's crying in Link's arms in BotW also shows that she knows everyone is dead, it's even possible that she saw some of it happen (maybe in the same way as AoC for Rhoam, or they saw what happened to the Divine Beasts from afar). I guess they must also have seen some terrible things on the roads, so she could have unlocked her power trying to save her people. But it only happened when Link was about to die.

Haha yes, I'm probably one of the most obsessed Zelink shipper there is and even I can't stand that power of love trope. It really has no place in a LoZ game. In my headcanon Zelda wouldn't access her power only because of her love for Link, though it definitely helps, but rather because the Hero dying is kind of an emergency situation and would trigger her divine magic even if the necessary conditions were not met. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me though 😆

Yeah I'm okay with the women of the royal family having some sort of power though not as powerful as Zelda. I think some part of it could also be attributed to their Sage of Time abilities. And the gift of prophecy being inherited from Sky is such a cute idea!!

I don't know about Terrako, I only remember that Zelda built it when she was just a child?

I'd send you an ask to rant about TotK but I'm not sure about the character limit and I fear it would just turn into a second wall of text haha! Here are some thoughts:

– I could live with new lore that contradicts older games, if only things made sense and were sufficiently fleshed out. Then I could just enjoy the story and accept that this is a different continuity. But here everything is so vague and sometimes even confusing. Like if we're going to meet the Zonai and make them such central figures in Hyrule's history, then I want to know more about them and learn about their culture. What's the point if we're only going to see two of them and have no clue about how they created all that technology, mined the Depth, lived with the Hylians, and then disappeared? Same for ancient Hyrule: if the different tribes were at war, I want to see it, and I want to learn more about them. Ganondorf also had so much potential for an interesting backstory. What kind of king is he? How did the Gerudo feel about him becoming the Demon King? What about the Gerudo Sage? And so on. It feels like this could be so much more.

– Other things I would love to see explained: where is the Master Sword in ancient Hyrule and why does no one seem to know anything about it or the Hero? How does it travel through time to reach Zelda? What about Rauru and Sonia's descendants? Also what was the point of the fake Zelda, and why did Ganondorf stay in his bathtub the entire game instead of rehydrating himself right away and getting stuff done? There's also everything I said about the secret stones the other day, but I know you don't see it as a problem ^^ (Also I just rewatched the memories and I had completely forgotten what Rauru tells Zelda in front of Sonia's grave: "Remember, that was a future where you never appeared in this world". So does this mean this is a new timeline that kind of retcons BotW? If not then where did all the Sheikah tech go and how were the shrines replaced by the Zonai ones? I really need an explanation for all of that!!)

– The game also barely mentions what happened in BotW, except for the history class about the Calamity in Hateno, the statues in Zora's Domain, and the memorials left by Zelda to honor the dead. I wanted to see Hyrule starting to rebuild and to get some sort of follow-up on the story. Did Link regain all his memories? Was Zelda planning to take the throne? Does she have some sort of trauma after her century-long battle against Ganon at Hyrule Castle? Why does she react to Ganondorf's name, but doesn't link him to Calamity Ganon? Why did the Sheikah tech that was so central in BotW disappear, especially the Divine Beasts? I care about this world and its characters, I want it to feel like a real place and to see it evolve. But then stuff like this really reminds you that this is just a video game world, and that Nintendo doesn't really seem to care. And if things can be retconned any moment even in a direct sequel, then… why should I feel invested?

– There was a real waste of potential with the Light Dragon and Zelda just transforming back thanks to Rauru and Sonia (btw couldn't they have helped if they could appear anytime and still had that kind of power?). I find it so disappointing that Link doesn't have to do anything to help Zelda, it almost happens by accident. Mineru also said it was irreversible, but in the end it's no big deal (they shouldn't establish something and then ignore it like that). If only Link had to use the Triforce or something. I didn't want Zelda to stay a dragon but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't have been a better ending.

– It also really doesn't help that Link feels so disconnected from the main story. In BotW he was also experimenting the story through flashbacks but at least they were his own memories and they fleshed out his relationship with Zelda and the other Champions. Here Zelda is the one experimenting the best part of the story, and to make it worse you can find the memories in any order and get badly spoiled. It could have been so cool if Link also time traveled at some point and could explore ancient Hyrule (and they could have done something crazy like Link and Zelda being the ones to seal Ganondorf in the past, which would lead to his transformation into Calamity Ganon). Link is also so expressionless (except when cooking and all) that I find it hard to care when he doesn't seem to. Imagine how different Zelda sealing herself would feel in Skyward Sword if Sky didn't act so distraught. In the same way TotK would hit a lot harder if Link did stuff like falling to his knees after seeing Zelda's last memory.

– I also think that the hands/cooperation theme the devs talked about in interviews is a bit weak and cliché (with characters reminding Link and Rauru that they don't have to do things alone and that they're stronger together, stuff like that). First I don't find it very interesting compared to what games such as OoT, MM or Wind Waker did, and then Link being able to fight Ganondorf alone from the start kind of throws it out the window (and Rauru also ends up sealing Ganondorf on his own). The Sages are not even with Link outside of the dungeons, they just create creepy copies of themselves (and I found them so annoying I never activated them, except for Tulin when flying). But yeah sure they shake hands and vow to help Link. I still think him being accompanied by the Champion's spirits in BotW worked a lot better, and their powers were also more useful. I guess seeing everyone working together to rebuild Hyrule would have made that theme more meaningful. The thing I really liked about this though was Link finally catching Zelda in the end after failing at the beginning of the game, that was a really beautiful scene.

– Also I said it above but I don’t want everything to be explained by Buddhism/Shintoism parallels, especially if the game just expects you to get it without providing context. Let Hyrule be it’s own thing.

So I know this isn't only about lore, but these are the main reasons why I'm not very interested in TotK. To sum up I'd say that the game lacks some kind of depth and has a lot of wasted potential, and it also makes it clear that it's pointless to care about continuity. BotW Hyrule was interesting and I think a lot of things could have been done about existing races instead of adding a new one but not bothering to do much with it. Just bringing Ganondorf back in this version of Hyrule and see how the Gerudo react to him could be so interesting!! Some concepts were also excellent but didn't really go anywhere, like the Depths and the Sky Islands.

Honestly I haven't thought about all these side quests and minor characters yet, I'm still trying to sort things out with the main story ^^ But I don't think I'll touch the ones you mentioned, they were fine. I liked the thing with the Eighth Heroine as well, I've seen a lot of people complaining about it but it's one of the only things in the game I actually found interesting. I just can't unsee the parallel with Link and the Seven Sages (of course).

What I'll be doing for sure is making some of the quests and events more serious, I'm kind of aiming for a darker tone. Most of the quests are quite fun (especially the "potential princess sightings" ones), but I feel like this game really lacks some sense of danger and urgency. For example couldn't the people in Hateno have more pressing problems than making cheese or choosing between Cece and Reede? Or was it really a good idea to make lighthearted little quests about misanderstandings with Zelda when her disappearance should be driving Link mad? (I should have included that in my little rant above haha)

I'd also love to make the pirates in Lurelin something more interesting than just a bunch of Bokoblins, but I'm not there yet. And rebuilding the exact same village was kind of meh.

About the Gerudo questioning their traditions, I'm actually planning for my Ganondorf to be a lot more active and go to Gerudo Town in order to meet his people (I want him to care about them, so he wouldn't attack them the same way he targets the others). I don't have all the details yet but I'm pretty sure there will be a conflict between Riju's supporters and other Gerudo who believe he's their rightful ruler (at first they wouldn't know he's actually that one king who turned into Calamity Ganon). So that's another tradition for them to question.

The consequences of Ganondorf being the only Gerudo male are something I've been wondering about as well. Add to that the fact that he's raised to be king because he's male (and maybe even kind of worshiped by his people) and you get something that can turn nasty real quick. Though I also wonder if Gerudo aren't different from Hylians. You said you hc that the Gerudo are only women because they were cursed so it makes sense that you would view it this way, but on my part I believe that's just how they were created. For that reason I think this is natural for them, so it's possible that it doesn't cause exactly the same problems it would for us or for Hylians.

About Demise, yes of course Ganondorf is more than just Demise's hatred. But in this game it doesn't seem to matter, he kind of turns into a second Demise as soon as he gets his secret stone and his motivations instantly go from conquering/ruling to destroying everything and everyone. They could have done something a lot more nuanced or at least shown a more gradual transition, with him being more and more consumed by his hatred and loosing control for example. I don't know, anything that would look less like a comically caricatural villain riding a demon unicorn.

Also about Demise's curse, I always thought it sounded more like a warning than an actual curse, and I remember reading somewhere that this was the intention in the original Japanese text. In French Demise even says something like "you must never forget, history will repeat itself" instead of "I will rise again", and he and speaks of the curse of the demon tribe (implying that it existed before). Even in English it doesn't sound like Demise himself is casting a curse: "Those like you… Those who share the blood of the Goddess and the spirit of the Hero… They are eternally bound to this curse". He doesn't say "I curse you" or "I bound you to this curse". I feel like this makes a difference (the curse already exists). This is why I interpret it as him basically saying that evil will not die with him and that Link and Zelda/the Hylians as a whole will always have to fight the demon tribe, but not necessarily his reincarnation. So I don't even believe that Demise himself is influencing Ganondorf in any way.

About the Zonai Zelda explains she studied them at the beginning of TotK and recognizes what's depicted on the murals, so it seems strange that sky beings could get mixed with a tribe of barbarians living in the woods. But yeah history getting lost and mixed is the only explanation for this.

Oh you're completely right about the Mogma, I got the same vibe from them! And a Mogma mafia sounds hilarious ^^ I love the Rocktato, Link would definitely eat something like that 😆

I need to take some time to read through your master list, it all looks very promising!