#but it’s terribly sad out of context and that’s how I’m using it

[wkngsnds]

I think my idea for beta huntlow is wonderfully captured by, “You’re in the wind, I’m in the water. Nobody’s son, Nobody’s daughter”

[inbarfink]

Okay, so I already wrote a bunch of stuff about how that scene, although it is really sweet, is also kind of a Bad Sign for Simon - how he refuses to learn the Obvious Lesson from the Winterworld adventure (that being the Ice King again is probably a really really bad idea). But I want to talk about it also a little more about what it means for Fionna’s character as well. 

Because while sitting around and wallowing in self-loathing is probably bad for Fionna, especially after being told that she shouldn't be allowed to exist, and Simon is right to try and get her out of her funk. It's also still worthwhile for Fionna to have some introspection about the Consequences of Her Actions. Because she and Cake really did not consider them at all at first. They have a sense of morality and an instinct towards heroism, but they also tend to kinda forget the fantastical worlds they visit don’t exist entirely for their fantasy and have kind of a Protagonist-Centered-Morality fallacy. 

Most obviously you can see it in the market in Ooo. How Cake, in her excitement, damaged and hurt and even killed

A bunch of innocent marketgoers without even noticing. And then Fionna immediately jumped to Cake’s defense against these ‘weirdos’, who were actually just normal kinda-righteously-angry Oooian citizens.

It’s actually very similar to the whole Winterworld situation. Fionna’s assumption that she’s automatically the hero and protagonist of the story and black-and-white view of the situation and her tendency to kick ass first and ask questions later meant that she just recklessly injured a lot of innocent people.

(It might’ve been worse actually cause at least in Winterworld she was at least manipulated by an evil Wizard)

Fionna and Cake clearly have a great potential for heroism, but they do need to be a bit more considerate of the situation and people around them. And it does make sense considering that from their perspective - they’ve been living a very ordinary life up until now (and Cake was literally an animal. A very clever animal, but still not bound by the same standards of morality as the talking animals in Ooo). Action and adventure and fantasy stuff has been purely the realm of daydream and video games for them - and Fionna literally speaks about it in these terms.

(also, Fionna's Main Character Syndrome was undoubtedly validated when God literally told her that she was created to be the main character of her universe)

So yeah, it takes them some time to really process how to be heroes - they need to grapple with questions that Finn and Jake already kinda dealt with seventeen years ago. And actually a lot of those; how to resolve a situation without necessarily using violence, when does a 'villain' actually deserve sympathy and kindness, the importance of the larger context of any given conflict... their confrontations with Ice King all played a big part in that. It was never just him, but he was still a very major part.

And for Fionna and Cake right now, learning these lessons require some amount of personal introspection. So while it was a sweet attempt at comforting, I dunno if Simon’s little ‘the only problem with that universe is that this Alternative Me was terrible because he didn’t even acknowledge or remember Betty as the love of our life and the light of my entire universe’ thing is actually Good. 

I’m not quite sure Simon is the best person to teach Fionna and Cake heroism 101, because he is so focused on the Crown Quest as the thing that brings back Meaning to his life, and because his fatherly instincts just kinda go “Sad Young Person???? MUST GIVE COMFORT!” and also on account of the kidnapping.

I’m sure Fionna is going to become the heroine she dreams about eventually, it’s just going to be a bumpy ride. The best we can hope for is that they accept Simon’s comfort, that she doesn't start believing that she is nothing but an Error for the entire universe like the Scarab claims, but don’t necessarily listen to all of Simon's his words either.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

august 2024 episode of octavinelle + 4koma update

You know the drill by now!

Spoilers for the 4koma and the Episode of Octavinelle chapter 12 below the cut. As a reminder, the Episode of Savanaclaw won’t be updating again until winter.

🫵 THERE THEY ARE…

THE SMOOTH CRIMINALS…

The poses in this opening page are so good; Leona sat all lax like a boss who knows who’s large and in charge, Ruggie leaning against the chair and swinging the keys to the vault around on one finger… The posing perfectly captures their personalities and roles in relationship to one another.

Once again, Azul makes many fantastically desperate and despair-filled expressions this installment 😭

Falling to his knees???? Laying flat on the floor??? Man is UNMATCHED when it comes to theatrics.

I like this shot of Azul and Leona’s gazes lining up; it really helps give you the sense of two rivals sizing each other up.

(Side note: you can also tell how much painstaking detail the artists went through to include their eye makeup in these close-ups. Hats off to them for the extra effort, it looks great!)

… WHY DiD THEY hAvFTA mAkE HIM So smUGHERE 💀

damn i wish i was that stack of contracts

… I mean what

sorry

Sorry

SORRY

I got distracted there, what were we talking about again????

AYO they always make Leona casting King’s Roar look so darn cool in the manga 😭

My favorite panel in this sequence has to be the one with the text bubbles. He looks so nonchalant and a little stern as he speaks the chant… The shadows on his face add a lot to the atmosphere of it!

This chapter is the part where Leona gets to sanding Azul’s hard work away! Look at how beautifully drawn Azul’s reaction is ✨

The particle-y effect of the contracts melting into sand is nice 😌 It feeds Azul’s tears… Tasty meal…

MOU YADA IN MANGA FORM IS PEAK

lmao Azul for real threw a tantrum, flailing his limbs and everything 🤡 Love that even Leona and Ruggie have NO idea how they should respond to this.

Oh no, here comes the OB…

The anguish Azul’s experiencing is really coming through. He’s sweating so much and his entire face is so. Er… for lack of a better term, twisted.

I think seeing the blot leaking out from each of them helps to illustrate that they’re truly being overwhelmed and consumed by their own inner darkness. It’s sad to see 😔

We cut back to Yuuta and co. squaring off against the twins!

I wanted to point out and comment on these parts with Jack. He’s not a character that I usually pay much attention to, but I gotta commend him for fighting back so hard and trying to shield the picture even when he’s clearly got no chance of winning. Jack bearing his fangs at Floyd with pupils contracted… 🫶 Very good and loyal pupper! I get the Jack appeal now, lol

I LOVE THIS

It reminds me of the similar Azul-Leona framing earlier in the chapter, though with a different context. I like that this shows how the twins are in sync and coming to the same terrible conclusion.

Not long after, they rush to Azul’s side—which makes me think that these two worry for his wellbeing 😭 THEY DONmT SAY IT OUT LOUD BUT THEY CARE

Oh yeah, here it comes… OB Azul has arrived!! 👀

I MEAN YEAH it’s not good for his health, but I’m so hyped for the battle and flashbacks to his childhood! Baby!Azul shall NOT escape our sight…

The 4koma this month centers on Jack, Vargas, and others (Jade, Kalim, Deuce) talking about using transformation magic for racing.

dhejeveiwhwuow I would say more, but I actually didn’t find this 4koma that remarkable. It’s a generally the boys chatting about animals and their different activities they excel at.

[demonslayedher]

Determining Ages and Birth Years

Kimetsu no Yaiba’s first official fanbook gave us ages for the many of the main characters, but in a manga where calculating age can be crucial, why are these numbers not so straightforward? Because the Japanese calendar is a mess, and the Taisho period was an in-between stage in many ways. Many new changes were established in the Meiji period but not broadly enforced until the Showa period, including how to count one’s age.

This subject can be terribly complicated, but please follow me below for:

--Historical context for how methods of counting age could differ --Which method I choose to apply to Kimetsu no Yaiba and why --Based on that, a list of my calculations for dates of birth, zodiac signs (Chinese and Western), and because it’s handy, the date each of these characters would have turned 25

In the Taisho period, there are two methods of counting age in play:

Kazoedoshi (“counting years”): Counting the years one has been in alive in, with that year having started on the agricultural new year and counting a new year to one’s age each New Year’s Day after that, like how it is still practiced in South Korea.

Which is to say, you are born at age 1, counting the first calendar year you lived in, and on the following New Year’s Day, you are age 2, even if you have only been out of the womb a very short time.

Mannenrei (“full year age”): Counting only each full 12-month period since your birth as part of your age, like how it is practiced in the United States of America.

Which is to say, you are born at age 0, and after twelve full months have passed, you are age 1.

Kazoedoshi was practiced through most of the Demon Slayer Corp’s history, but the Meiji government enforced a switch to Mannenrei in 1902. However, most people still practiced Kazoedoshi throughout the Meiji, Taisho, and early Showa periods, and it wasn’t until 1950 that the government reinforced the switch to Mannenrei. This is also when, with the influx of American culture due to the post-war occupation, individual birthdays started to be marked with cake and presents. Until that time, people did not pay much attention to their date of birthday besides, perhaps, a passing notion and maybe a shrine or temple visit and a nice dinner (see more on this post). Many people continued to count their own age in Kazoedoshi until 1950, and although some people liked the “oh, actually I’m younger than I thought I was!” surprise (because Manrenrei really was outside of their usual way of thinking), it made centenarians a little sad that they hadn’t actually reached 100.

Similarly, even though the Meiji government enforced a switch to the Gregorian calendar which put New Years on January 1, many people still celebrated a sliding date according to a lunar-based agricultural calendar, like is still done in China. It was likewise later reinforced.

In modern Japan, New Years on Gregorian January 1 and counting age by the Mannenrei system are the norm and standard, however, some customs (especially but not limited to religious customs) are still celebrated according to the agricultural calendar and Kazoedoshi ages. It’s annoying to keep track of and if I had a 5-yen coin for every time I say the Japanese calendar is a mess, I’d have a lot more yen.

The canon of Kimetsu no Yaiba does not specify any of the following: 1. What year most of KnY takes place (but based on clues from the Hand Demon, we can extrapolate that most of it takes place in 1915) 2. Whether the characters’ given ages are according to Kazoedoshi or Mannenrei, and whether the characters’ given birthdates are according to the Gregorian or agricultural calendars 3. Which method the characters use to count New Years and their own age 4. If there are any differences among the cast and how they count these things (like if the city-slickers were with the times and the country bumpkins were not) 5. Whether or not Amane accounted for Mannenrei or Kazoedoshi when stating that all the marked swordsmen of the Sengoku period died by the age of 25

So what are fanfic writers who are preoccupied with canon accuracy to do? How much should the fans of characters who got the mark fret?

After tying my brain in knots (for years, since I attempted tackling this issue years ago and this is my better post addressing the issue(s)), here are the ways that I approach it.

First: I firmly treat most of the events of canon as firmly taking place in Gregorian 1915, with the Final Selection taking place that winter and Muzan’s defeat coming sometime around the very end of 1915 or start of 1916. (See here for how I calculated all the time frames indicated in canon. You’re welcome.)

Second, we have to treat the official fanbook material in the context of how it was published. I think the ages in the fanbook are given in Mannenrei for the benefit of Heisei/Reiwa period readers, but if you really want to dig into it, the characters might interpret their own age differently based on Kazoedoshi, since it was such a prevalent way to count one’s age even for people born in the Taisho period. For example, Tanjirou’s given canon age is 15 (Mannenrei), but if you ask him in-universe, he might say he is 17 (Kazoedoshi).

Even if we assume many of the characters use the agricultural calendar and Kazoedoshi, there is a chance that characters who actively used western technology—for example, Shinobu, who uses textbooks in English microscopes and thermometers that likely came from Germany—had switched to Mannenrei for the sake of more accuracy on an individual basis. It is also possible that the Corp enacted their own standardization to Mannenrei around the time they standardized uniforms and updated the payment structure. If this is the case, it might have required country bumpkins to rethink the systems they had always been used to. Tanjirou, if asked in-universe once he is a Corp member, would therefore say he is 15 (Mannenrei).

The places the Kazoedoshi/Mannenrei difference has more implications is where characters have stated their own age. For example, Himejima seems to use a Mannenrei system (he states that he became a Hashira at age 19, and now is clearly over the age of 25, with his canonical age being recorded as 27. The numbers check out). This makes me more curious about Muichirou, who has a canonical given age of 14, but says in his own recollection that he was 10 when he was orphaned, and 11 when Yuichirou died.

If Mannenrei: It was four years or more ago that his parents died, and then sometime after he and Yuichirou turned 11 on Gregorian August 8, the demon attacked on a hot summer night. If Kazoedoshi: It was four years or more ago that his parents died. New Years passed that winter and he and Yuichirou turned 11. Many more months passed before the demon attacked on a hot summer night. However, if the Corp enforces his Mannenrei age of 14, but being a country bumpkin with a fuzzy memory, Muichirou still thinks of himself in Kazoedoshi, thereby making him think of himself as 16: It was six years or more ago that his parents died. New Years passed that winter and he and Yuichirou turned 11. Many more months passed before the demon attacked on a hot summer night. He nonetheless became a Hashira relatively recently (according to aligning Kyojuro-related flashback material and the second fanbook making passing mention that he hasn’t been a Hashira that long so his impression of the others isn’t that deep). This implies he spent a very, very, very, very long time incapacitated before he could so much as hold a sword, let alone join the Final Selection.

So what if we consider the opposite, that every given age is in Kazoedoshi? That would mean that when the fanbook and Tanjirou say he is 15, we would translate that back to a Mannenrei age of 13. And, dear readers, do you really want to imagine the entire cast being one or two years younger than their given age? I didn’t think so.

It is already very, very difficult to determine the order of Kimetsu no Yaiba canon both due to incomplete histories and canonical errors introduced by outside material (Ufotable animating Kanao’s May 19 encounter with the Kochou sisters with a winter setting, or Hirano-sensei drawing a spread of all nine Hashira in a 1913 setting) or timeline errors introduced in the original manga likely due to oversight (Gotouge drawing Aoi in uniform shortly after Kanae’s death when Aoi is later stated to have attended the same Final Selection as Muichirou, who at the time Kanae died is likely still living with his parents). That is why I assume the following rule of thumb:

When ages are given in-universe or in supplementary material, assume it is Mannenrei, because this is a shounen manga and not a math textbook. (As another case in point, the heights of the characters would have made most of the characters giants in Taisho society, though they get away with just being a bit on the tall side in Reiwa society. Some things are simplified for the benefit of modern readers.)

Assume the characters do not pay much attention to their age, or their birthday, because this is a shounen manga with a lot of dedication to historical settings and folk traditions (and those folks didn’t pay much attention to their birthdays).

Ergo: If the Corp tells its members “this is your Mannenrei age, use it. When we say 25, we have already done the math from our Sengoku period records and we mean 25 in Mannenrei,” the Corp members probably accept that. However, the Corp members might think of it as having two ages for two different purposes. Given the prevalence of Kazoedoshi, in their heart, they might still think of New Years as the time when you collectively celebrate everyone’s birthday.

Since I’m assuming Mannenrei, I’m also assuming Gregorian birthdates, and assuming everyone’s given canon age to be the age they were during the Infinity Fortress battle that took place roughly around New Year’s Day 1916.

Why am I picking this date? Because this is when the first fanbook was published, and it treated canon as it was occurring at that time in publication, so Akaza, Douma, and Kokushibou were not yet given the “eliminated” status (also, Rengoku was given already called “former” Flame Hashira. Shinobu’s demise had not yet been published in the serialization).

I also say “roughly New Year” because of the agricultural/Gregorian calendar issues. The agricultural New Year’s Day in 1916 would have fallen on Gregorian February 4, but because I’m treating this as the Corp having adopted Mannenrei, I’m also having them treat Gregorian January 1 as New Years. Because Ubuyashiki Nichika and Hinaki were singing a New Years song when Muzan strolled in to visit, that leans credence toward it happening around then. More crucially, cherry blossoms are in full bloom “three months later,” which aligns it best with Gregorian January 1, since late March/early April is when you are most likely to get the full bloom of the most common somei-yoshino cherry trees.

It’s also a convenient date and time in the plot to measure by because all their birthdays would have passed for that year, barely including Nezuko’s. (But if Mugen Ressha took place prior to May, like I have calculated before… does this mean Rengoku would have been part of Team 21? My gosh, I’m crying. For this list, I’m treating it as the age he would have been relative to the others on that date.)

Tl;dr: I’m assuming you can treat every canon age as Mannenrei, and totally ignore Kazoedoshi in the first place (unless if it will help you be crafty in your fic, because there’s still a good case to be made for the characters using it).

Now here is the fanfic reference list I promised, including: 1. Their date of birth according to the Gregorian calendar, calculated based their canon age being their Mannenrei age as of December 31, 1915. 2. Their birth year according to the Japanese period 3. The year they would have turned 25 4. Their Chinese zodiac sign (yes, I know there is argument about whether or not you can say “zodiac” here, but this isn’t the place to start a new topic. Anyway, I’ve also included the elements for each year for the deep nerds who anticipate it) (also I’m really sorry, Inosuke is not born in the Year of the Boar, nor is Iguro born in the Year of the Snake) 5. Their Western zodiac sign (yes, I know there was a recalculation of sun signs some years back, but no, I’m not bothering to take that into account, this post is complicated enough as it is) Important caveat: I'm bad at math.

Kamado Tanjirou: July 14, 1900/Meiji 33 (1925/Taisho 14), Metal Rat, Cancer Kamado Nezuko: December 28, 1901/Meiji 34 (1926/Taisho 15), Metal Ox, Capricorn Agatsuma Zenitsu: September 3, 1899/Meiji 32 (1924/Taisho 13), Earth Boar, Virgo Hashibira Inosuke: April 22 (as was written on his fundoshi along with his name), 1900/Meiji 33 (1925/Taisho 14), Metal Rat, Taurus Tsuyuri Kanao: May 19 (chosen for the day she encountered the Kochou sisters), 1899/Meiji 32 (sometime in 1924??/Taisho 13??), Earth Boar(?), Taurus (???) Shinazugawa Genya: January 7, 1899/Meiji 32  (1924/Taisho 13) – by Gregorian/modern Japanese system he is an Earth Boar, but the agricultural New Year wasn’t until February 10 that year, so he might instead be considered an Earth Dog, Capricorn Tomioka Giyuu: February 8, 1894/Meiji 27 (1919/Taisho 8), Wood Horse, Aquarius Kochou Shinobu: February 24, 1897/Meiji 30 (1822/Taisho 11), Fire Rooster, Pisces Rengoku Kyoujurou: May 10, 1895/Meiji 28 (1920/Taisho 9), Wood Sheep, Taurus Uzui Tengen: October 31, 1892/Meiji 25 (1917/Taisho 6), Water Dragon, Scorpio Kanroji Mitsuri: June 1, 1896/Meiji 29 (1921/Taisho 10), Fire Monkey, Gemini Tokitou Muichirou: August 8, 1901/Meiji 34 (1926/Taisho 15), Metal Ox, Leo Himejima Gyoumei: August 23, 1888/Meiji 21 (1913/Taisho 2), Earth Rat, Virgo Shinazugawa Sanemi: November 29, 1894/Meiji 27 (1919/Taisho 8), Wood Horse, Sagittarius Iguro Obanai: September 15,1894/Meiji 27 (1919/Taisho 8), Wood Horse, Virgo

Afterword:

Suppose Amane didn’t do the math to state the Sengoku swordsmans’ ages in Mannenrei terms? What if their records were spotty, or she took Kazoedoshi and applied it to swordsmen who now use Mannenrei?

Well, in that case, Tanjirou would probably die sometime in 1923, and Giyuu & Sanemi sometime in 1917. Ergo, I think I will stick with Amane having done the math and converted Sengoku ages to Mannennei if she was going to tell them all something so important.

Also, using Kazoedoshi would totally mess with the Kimetsu Gakuen AU.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hold on, late night fantasy au snippet (its short, emphasis on this factoid). context: early days of the neighborhood, most of them are still getting to know each other. frank has a crush <3

~

“So,” Eddie says conversationally, “and let me know if I’m overstepping, but how did you get that scar? I confess, it’s been eatin’ at me for days. There must be some sorta story behind it.”

In a heartbeat, Frank lists the qualities of the man in front of him. 

Handsome.

Incredibly sweet.

Too sweet, easy to take advantage of.

Charming accent.

Handsome.

A man of honor and righteousness. 

Handsome.

The only logical conclusion? Impress him.

“It’s not all that interesting,” Frank says. He shrugs in a way that he hopes comes off as nonchalant, but not aloof. “[INSERT GRAPHIC WAY OF SCAR-GAINING HERE]”

There, now Eddie will surely be impressed, and perhaps even in awe of - oh no. He looks sad. Why does he look sad?

“That’s terrible,” Eddie says with upturned brows and soft, shiny doe eyes. “That really happened to you?”

Frank’s brain says, No, of course not. That was a lie to impress you. I actually got this scar from an exceptionally sharp - and heavy - book falling off of a library shelf. It landed directly on my face and knocked me out instantaneously.  

Frank’s mouth says, “Not all of us had a happy childhood.”

That was, evidently, the wrong thing to say. Eddie’s melancholy expression turns stricken and ashamed, and Frank is keenly aware that he just dashed any hope he had of this beautiful person ever liking him.

“You were a kid?” Eddie nearly whispers. Real, honest tears gather on his ridiculously full lashes. “I’m so sorry, that’s… that’s just awful.”

Frank doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s far too late to tell the truth, but anything he says further would just deepen the hole he’s landed himself in. Luckily - or unluckily, it’s hard to say - Eddie doesn’t seem to expect him to say anything else.

He mumbles another guilt-ridden sorry and faces front again, staring mournfully at the ground and radiating discomfort. Frank has a feeling that he’s projecting more of the same. 

Curse this man’s sensitive nature - Frank’s varying tales of how he got his facial scar always garner sounds of amazement or astonishment. Of course Eddie, handsome sweet Eddie, would find the story horrifying. Frank doesn’t want to imagine how he’ll react if he found out that his tearful response was unwarranted. Here’s hoping that never happens.

~

bonus commentary:

[nyoomfruits]

PLEASE ELLIE

du bist mein schultenbrau

Tell me!! 🤍😂

ITS SO DUMB ITS JUST THE WORKING TITLE for everyone super confused by the context, the title is from this banger of a dutch après ski hit the title has mostly nothing to do with the fic except lando and oscar go on a ski trip in the winter break because oscar was supposed to go with his gf but she broke up with him and lando's like 'i'll go with you' and they spend a whole week on a super romantic couples ski trip As Bros (who fall in love. obviously) anyway thats a terrible explanation here's the first two opening scenes that actually set up the plot perfectly lmao:

Max texts Lando on one of this last days in the MTC, right before winter break is supposed to start. Lando doesn’t even notice at first, spending most of his time in and out of meetings, filming a few last minute promo vids. When he does notice, he sighs, annoyed, a little disappointed.

“Hm?” Oscar says, from across the table, where he’s slouched down in one of the office chairs, scrolling through his own phone.

“Max cancelled our trip,” Lando says, dropping his phone down on his thigh and staring up at the ceiling as he contemplates his options. He could go visit his parents, maybe. Maybe other Max and Martijn wanted to hang out for a bit.

“Verstappen?” Oscar asks, without glancing up from his phone. He’s been quiet all day, more quiet than usual. There’s a downward pitch to his mouth, bags under his eyes. Lando gets it, maybe. It’s been a long season, and even though they ended on a high note, he can understand the exhaustion. He’s feeling it himself, the aftereffects of months of giving it his all. It’s why he’d been looking forward to this trip so much.

“Fewtrell. We were going to the Maldives. But now his girlfriend wants to go visit her family, so.” He tries not to sound bitter about it. He gets it. She hardly gets to see him as it is, and it’s not like Max owes him anything.

He’d just really been looking forward to it.

“Can you cancel?” Oscar asks. He’s put his phone down, and he’s looking at Lando now, the way he always does. Like there’s nothing else in the world more worth looking at than Lando. It had unnerved Lando a little, in the beginning, until he’d realized that’s just how Oscar looks at people. Or, well, he assumes that’s just how Oscar looks at people. He’s never really been able to test this theory, but it makes sense, so. It’s probably true.

“Yeah,” Lando says. “Full deposit back and everything. Still. Rather be on a beach.”

Oscar snorts. “Luckier than me, then.”

“Why?” Lando asks, frowning, wondering if he’s forgetting something.

“I was supposed to go to this ski resort with Lily. But now. Well.” He looks pained, and when Lando sends him a confused look, he adds. “We, uh. We broke up. So.”

“Ah,” Lando says. So maybe it hadn’t all been exhaustion, then. “I’m sorry.”

Oscar shrugs, but his mouth is still pitched down and he’s not looking at Lando, instead focusing on his hands, where he’s fiddling with his phone. “It’s okay. It just wasn’t working out anymore. For either of us. But uh. Yeah. Still sucks. Plus I can’t get my deposit back, so now I either go on this stupid ski trip alone, which is just sad, or I just lose the money.”

Technically, Oscar could probably afford to lose the money. He’s rich enough. But it’s the principal of the thing. Also, Oscar still has that sad puppy look on his face and it’s pulling at Lando’s heart a little bit. It’s the only excuse he has for blurting out. “I’ll go with you.”

“Oh,” Oscar says, looking up, surprised.

“Yeah,” Lando says, thinking about it a little more seriously. “Yeah, why not? Teammate bonding outside of the season. It’ll be good for us. Plus, it solves both of our problems. You don’t lose the money and you don’t look like a sad sack of shit in front of all those fancy ski people, and I get to go on a vacation after all. Win win.”

“I mean,” Oscar says, and he seems to actually consider it now. “It’s no beach.”

Lando shrugs. “Bet the gin and tonics still taste roughly the same,” he says, and Oscar laughs, one of those full body things where he folds in half with the force of it. The joke’s not that funny, but it’s the happiest he’s seen Oscar all day, so he’ll take it.

“Sure,” Oscar says. “Why not. Let’s go.”

--

It isn’t until Lando’s standing in the door opening of their little cabin for the weekend, backpack hanging off one shoulder and suitcase at his feet, that he realizes how intimate this is. He should’ve guessed, maybe. Oscar had said it was a trip he’d booked for him and his girlfriend, so. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, perse. But this is. It’s small. It’s cozy. There’s a fireplace.

“Lando, I don’t want to rush you, mate, but it’s like minus ten out here and I’m not wearing my ski jacket yet,” Oscar says, from somewhere behind him, a noticeable shiver in his voice.

“Right, yeah, sorry,” Lando says, moving further into the cabin, dragging his luggage with him. Lando had flown in from Monaco, fresh off celebrating New Year’s with his friends. Oscar had flown in from London, and Lando’s pretty sure he spend both Christmas and New Year’s alone. It shouldn’t tug at his heart strings as much as it does, probably.

Oscar makes his way inside, dumping his suitcase by the couch and looking around. “Quaint,” he settles on.

“All right, big fancy words man,” Lando says, rolling his eyes. “Please tell me you know how to make a fire, it’s fucking freezing in here.”

“I do, actually,” Oscar says, beelining for the fireplace while Lando wanders further into the cabin, darkly muttering ‘of course you do’.

The living room is massive, with a giant L shaped couch in front of the fireplace, and big open windows looking out over the beautiful snowy landscape outside. To the left, there’s an open archway to a kitchen and dining room, and to the right are two doors. One, upon opening it, turns out to lead to a pretty decently sized bathroom. The other-

“Oscar,” Lando says, frowning a little. “Are you aware there’s only one bed?”

“What?” Oscar says, looking up from where he’s fidgeting with something in the fireplace. Lando doesn’t say anything, just holds open the bedroom door and gestures at the frankly giant bed. “Oh, yeah,” he says, looking a little forlorn. “I mean. Yeah. When I booked it- Well. They didn’t have any cabins with single beds, so.” He shrugs a little bashfully. “I’ll uh, take the couch. It’s big enough.”

And he looks so small, and so sad, crouched in front of the fire, shoulders slightly hunched over, that tired, sad expression back on his face, and goddamnit. “Don’t be ridiculous,” Lando says, closing the door resolutely and going to grab his luggage. “We’ll share.”

“But-“ Oscar shares, and behind him, there seems to have appeared an actual fire in the fireplace. Lando raises an impressed eyebrow.

“No. We’ll share. It’s fine, the bed is giant. I think we’d be sleeping closer together if they had given us separate beds, that’s how big it is,” Lando says, grabbing his bags and making his way back to the bedroom.

“Okay,” Oscar says, but he doesn’t look so sad anymore, smiling a little at Lando’s dumb little joke, and that’s. Lando will take that, if anything.

“So,” Lando says, flopping down on the giant couch after he’s managed to ditch all of their luggage. “What’s the plan for tonight?”

[notexactlyrocketscience]

Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood: a critically kind review from a femme acespec physicist <3

> scroll to the next section for my review on the physics academia content in this book!

First, a quick romance novel review!

spoiler: it wasn’t my favorite but I gave it a ⭐️⭐️⭐️.75 because being a writer has made me a generally more appreciative reader + I am so starved of woman in physics rep.

the good

It just felt good to read about a woman physicist, who are still incredibly underrepresented in fiction, especially as protagonists. (I’ll go off about that in a minute.)

The romance is so swoony with shoujo manga vibes, I haven’t read straight M/F adult romance novels in a while and I just loved the flutteriness of it.

A couple of chapters were so soft with excellent pillowtalk. There was something about the ambience of the snow, the hypnotic sadness of failure, the prescence of a comforting person.

I enjoyed identifying the relatable parts about physics academia. Hazelwood clearly did a lot of research, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. It definitely kept me reading!

the bad

The academia issues are so over-simplified it’s almost juvenile. For an adult novel, even one marketed as a romcom, I expect more nuance, more explanations, more explicit lingering in tight positions.

And then the romance tries to be complex (and has a lot of potential!) but not a lot of conflict really happens.

A fictional physics fued between theorists and experimentalists is a really fun (and actually not far off) concept, but I would have expected some things to be the other way around. (More on that later!)

Okay this is personal but the main couple both have terrible taste in movies. Twilight vs white male rage movies??? There is no lesser evil here

Elsie’s hardships aren’t put in a very serious light. Her diabetes and lack of access to health insurance is used as a plot device to engineer romantic momentum between the characters and/or comic relief.

Just overall, the book tried so hard to remain “light” that I think it fails to garner depth. Because adult lives really aren’t that light all the time, and a book can bring relaxation and joy whilst including real worldly negative experiences.

There were aroace and sapphic side characters, but I wanted so bad for Elsie to be demisexual. It's set up so perfectly only for it to be averted—As a demisexual person myself, Elsie’s feelings about attraction felt acutely familiar to me, and every other reader I've spoken to has agreed that the book took a dissapointing and unexpected turn. I understand Hazelwood may not feel equipped to write queer protagonists but if I were her editor, I would have flagged that and recommended she make it canon. It would have added so much more context and dimension to Elsie, and would’ve put hetero demisexuals on the map. </3

Following up on the above: The smut tries so hard to be meaningful but it ... really is icky, stereotypical, unrealistic allocishetero stuff. Think: the shy inexperienced girl vs the man who knows exactly how to advise her. The characters try to subvert the trope by calling it out, but it feels performative because all is forgotten in the next second. The PiV sex is weirdly conventionally idealistic considering the pairing’s size difference. I’m picky about smut but also forgiving when I do like the dynamic. I just didn’t here.

Following up once again: I was ready to ignore all the repetitive comments about how sexy Jack’s height and muscles were, because sure, I guess Elsie has a type. But the sex scenes solidified the redundancy of it all. I've read this same dynamic in countless smutty heteronormative M/F paperbacks. And I have also been made aware by every Hazelwood reader that all her books focus on this kind of physical build pairing. I just want more diversity, you know?

IDK, I just wanted more physics in here than complaining about teaching, glossed over toxic mentors, and using some quirky physics term in every other sentence. (More on that below!)

I just wanted ... more? It’s not an extremely short novel, but both the plot and the character development fell flat. The ups and downs were too fast and easy, and the placement felt off. I finished the book and wondered, “That’s it? That’s all that happened?” It just wasn’t fulfilling. The side characters aren't expanded upon, and don’t get enough pagetime. My other romance reads this year were Bellefleur's The Fiancee Farce and Mcquiston’s One Last Stop. In both of those novels, the drama was fleshed out with so much care and detail. In comparison, Love, Theoretically may mention similar social difficulties in passing, but failed to really, really show us.

Overall ... the novel was fun for being about physicists but I really don’t see myself picking up another Hazelwood book, especially considering this isn’t even a debut novel. The conventional white steminist vibe and the particular allocishetero M/F dynamic just isn’t my thing.

But perhaps a reader wanting more of a novel and its characters is a good problem to have. Never say never, I guess! I look forward to keeping tabs on what Hazelwood publishes in the future!

Now, onto the physics!

First, most physicists, as good scientists, understand that theory and experimentation are fundamentally linked. It’s true that we each are often biased towards our own methods of research, but it is quite a stretch to imagine full professors so blatantly feud against others solely because of theory vs experimentation. Regardless, I was happy to suspend my disbelief for the sake of the plot that was framed in a genre-specific, lighthearted, humorous way.

Secondly, both theory and experimentation have sources of funding that are motivated in different ways, and Hazelwood's decision to have the theorists struggle with funding cuts due to declining interest in pop culture/the general public is actually quite credible. Experimentation garners a lot more interest from the application and engineering end of society, parts that are easily fueled by capitalism.

However, I think experimentalists in general are far less likely to be mean to theorists than the reverse scenario. Dr Fatima Abdurrahman has a great video essay about that called on her YouTube channel called “Quantum Physics, Feminism, and Objective Reality: What Physicists Don’t Want You to Know About Quantum Mechanics.” Dr Fatima outlines how old white men in physics have maintained this image of unwavering scientific objectivity in the name of rigor, despite studying a field that fundamentally is barely fathomable for humans. In simpler terms: Men, even in theory, pretend to be better, smarter, and more valid as physicists despite being in an infamously iffy field. And I would have liked to see that represented. It was just really hard for me to buy narcissistic grad students mansplaining Elsie about her field, and Elsie’s righteous feminine rage, when the field in question is … physics theory? It just didn’t make sense to me, when all of my personal experiences point to the opposite.

But every cloud has a silver lining, and having a woman theorist in a physics field that’s less popsci-oriented is actually … really cool. And having her love interest be a man in experimentation … sort of subverts gender roles and conventional media expectations.

Let me explain. The reality is that when women are represented in STEM, media prefers to put them in biology, like a nurse to a doctor, a people-oriented nurturer, a mere sidekick to the real “objective” scientist—often a mathematician or an astrophysicist who is always a man. And when women are placed in physics, they are automatically assigned to observational astronomy, which is dismissed as passive and easy. (This is wildly untrue—though styles of research in astronomy has interestingly allowed a somewhat more diverse array of researchers in history. Even today, you’ll see a higher frequency of women and queer people in every astronomy department.)

I think my ideal version of this novel would be retaining Elsie in theory, while also making theorists the overall bad guys in the feud. I would love to have her talk about the unique sexism she faces as a theorist. I would kill for a scene in which Jack gets gobsmacked by how fucking good at math she really is, compared to him (instead of, like, only making fun of it like it’s easy). I would love to read about her getting a tour of his lab, and just more physics content. But maybe I’m the only one saying that, because I’m a physicist. Maybe Hazelwood simplified it all to keep the book appealing to the general masses.

Still, it all read more like a girlpower!!! chant rather than a real commitment to represent a woman in STEM. I savored every moment Elsie or George would go off about physics. I loved Elsie’s conversations with Olive, a different STEM academic. (Monica was more complicated and actually quite interesting, and I wish we could have seen more of her. Heck, I wish we had actually been given any tangible info about Jack’s mom, even.) But I genuinely felt these instances were rare. Elsie referred to being a physicist a lot (and frankly, her mind is more physics-y than any IRL physicist considering the sheer number of physics-inspired figures of speech she uses … but I excused that as silly comic relief, a quirk in Hazelwood’s writing style). But she didn’t tangibly do physics on page. It was disappointing, considering women characters in STEM is what Hazelwood is known for.

And there are physicists who love teaching—even physicists who solely want to teach. Physicists who do pedagogy research. I know the book was mainly trying to criticise the adjunctification and dismissal of physics higher education, and it’s actually quite accurate in representing that most physicists in academia would prefer not to teach. But the excecution also ends up erasing physicists who aren’t in academia just for research. And I say this especially because the validity of teaching physicists as physicists is dismissed in real life. It’s used as justification to further force all physics academics to try to juggle between both research and teaching, whether they want to or not.

Which leads us to bad mentors. I’ve had a bunch of those. As Olive pointed out in an excellent quote, “Academia is so hierarchical, you know? There are all these people who have power over you, who are supposed to guide you and help you become the best possible scientist, but . . . sometimes they don’t know what’s best. Sometimes they don’t care. Sometimes they have their own agenda. […] Sometimes they’re total shitbuckets who deserve to step on a pitchfork and die.” And the thing is, the novel really doesn’t show us any of that (perhaps other than in Monica). We don’t fully get to know what happened to Jack’s mom, or Olive. We are not shown what Dr L’s agenda really was. Their final confrontation was so quick, when in reality shitty mentors are often sticky and entwined with your work, hard to cut off and scarier to talk back to even after you’ve finally realized they’re toxic.

Which isn’t to say the novel is just inadequate about everything. It’s correct in how goofy physics faculty are, and how white man-dominated the field is, how students try to mansplain women profs, how theorists madly work on their computers (as an experimentalist, I could never understand), how publishing is finicky (to put it kindly), and how tenured faculty fail to understand the reality of the job market in academia today. There are certain parts (like the quote above!) where I felt incredibly seen as part of a minoritized identity group in STEM academia. It’s rare to have a book written from this PoV, and as a first I think this novel will always be special for me!

If you’re interested in reading about more fictional women physicists, I would highly recommend skimming through this list I made on GoodReads (and feel free to add more!).

And if you’d like to support memoirs and science communication books by IRL women physicists, then look to further than this other list I’ve also made. (We’re actually currently seeing a boom in these which is inanely exciting to me, so again, contributions are always welcome!)

[taylor-swift-fosters-it-again]

ok guys I’m reading through the middle school out of context document and I’m laughing so hard so here you go: my middle school as kotlc (below the cut bc this will be long)

“THIS IS THE MOST PATRIOTIC STANDARD PENCIL IN ALL OF SCHOOLDOM!” - sophie

“that’s, like, the definition of insanity.” - biana

“go to florida!” - sophie

“dead students are a lot of paperwork.” - mr. forkle

“I feel that was a white person hand!” - wylie

“WE HAVE THE COWS!” - keefe

“what up, my fellow mathematicians?” - fitz

“we’re only, like, half dead.” - ro

“what am I supposed to think? ‘oh, these are pretty shoes!’ and then you look at your shoes and then you trip and fall. and then you remember to run. and then you think, ‘run? where have I heard that word before?’” - sophie

“do you see my grandma working at mcdonalds? well, no, you don’t, because she’s dead. but do you?” - sophie

“guys! stop hating yourself! only I can do that!” - keefe

“I think I’ve avoided death plenty of times already.” - sophie

“we’re going to florida to be in the hurricane so we can get the full experience.” - linh

“terrible minds think alike.” - tam

“so, we put the gum on the wax paper. do we chew the wax paper??” - keefe

“who else is crippled??” - fitz

“yo, can I show y’all my sticky note collection now??” - dex

“I shall find them and have batman justice!!” - keefe

“nowadays, it’s just sad.” - sophie

“you’re going to be stuck with me for four miles!” - keefe

“guys, I actually didn’t flood anything this time!” - linh

“just because he’s russian doesn’t mean we can’t play his music!” - fitz

“what am I, boiled trash?” - dex

“that’s not necessarily injust!” - mr. forkle

“bro, why are you hiding bodies in your locker?” - keefe

“coming soon to a parliament near you.” - sophie

“my hair’s inside my hair tie and it’s my hair tie. who would’ve thought?” - biana

“yeah, I get scared really easily. who’s the scariest guy?” - keefe

“don’t laugh at my violin playing.” - dex

“it’s like a high school dance party, except they’re doing mountain climbers in the dark.” - sophie

“acorns?” “acorns?” “acorns?” “no, chestnuts.” - keefe, fitz, dex, and keefe again

“it’s time to go scissor shopping!” - tam

“just ask them for money.” - fitz

“you just have to give up on logic.” - sophie

“I’m smart. who wants to play google snake with me?” - dex

“bro, stop using the metric system!” - fitz

“girl, don’t dance with a knife!” - biana

“I don’t get it, but otherwise I could.” - keefe

“you still have to share a stand with this ugly mug.” - biana

“I’ve had a change of heart.” - dex

“why are you standing behind a pole? your wallpaper looks like something that would be in a horror movie. are all of your friends like this, or just you?” - grady

“I was watching the clouds for THREE HOURS. it brings a whole new definition to ‘boring’.” - sophie

“suck it france. you and your baguettes.” - dex

“we just have issues.” - fitz

“I STRONGLY dislike middle parts... okay?” - biana

“then, I teabag ’em” - keefe

“I came from my mom. I don’t know what you all are talking about.” - marella

“you’re going to steal my foot???” - fitz

“when I have my leather jacket on, you know I’m gonna be serious about this.” - tam

“is it true that you’re skipping right to college?” - dex

“yeah, it’s a big bird but so are ostriches” - sophie

“I’m sorry I threw an orange at you.” - fitz

“GUYS LA CARA HAS TWO R’S! CARA WITH TWO R’S!” “bro, why did you write it with two r’s?” “he said it has two!” “IT DOES! *whispers* I’m tricking them.” “OH HOW DEVIOUS!” - dex, fitz, keefe, dex again, and keefe again

“like, someone needs to calm down. and it’s not me!” - sophie

“SWEATSHIRTS ARE FOR THE WEAK!” - keefe

“you talk a lot. perhaps it’s time to rest your voice!” - tam

“LET’S BE PLANETS. I will be uranus.” “I’m jupiter, baby! actually, I will be the sun.” “no! I am the sun because I light up the world.” “actually, I will be a black hole.” “yes, that suits you because YOU SUCKED UP MY DREAMS” “LET’S BE STAR WARS CHARACTERS” - dex, keefe, fitz, keefe, fitz, dex

“history will be like, yeah, it was a steal!” - sophie

“EXPOSED!!” - dex

“label everything, cause, why not?” - linh

“this would’ve cost us, but it would’ve cost us in humans.” - sophie

[curiositymemes]

MISTER MAGIC SENTENCE STARTERS : PART TWO.

taken from the 2023 novel by kiersten white. trigger warnings for unreality, trauma, religion, and cults. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

“what do we say about crying?”

“you had a lot of nightmares.”

“at least i don’t snore?”

“i wouldn’t mess with her / him / them.”

“that was really kind. thank you.”

“it’s just what i was supposed to do all along.”

“why do you have it?”

“don’t you remember— no, i guess you don’t.”

“please take this as kindly as possible, but what the hell does that mean?”

“i forgot what a dork you can be.”

“only you could make me do this. you’re as pushy as ever.”

“is this what prom was like?”

“i hate missing free food.”

“we just have to wait a little longer. you’ll see.”

“we could go be beautiful somewhere else, instead.”

“or your ass is mine.”

“what is she / is he / are they doing here? i can’t deal with her / him / them, not right now. not ever.” 

“you know how important tonight is to me.” 

“i’ve worked a long time for this.”

“take me with you. i can’t do this alone.”

“wasn’t it the best?”

“i’ve lived here my whole life.”

“angels were everywhere, if you knew how to recognize them. if you knew how to make a deal.”

“suffer the children, you know.”

“not everything needs a reboot.”

“go home and cry joylessly into your still-in-the-box transformers.” 

“someone’s got to compensate for my terrible influence in his life / her life / your life / their lives.”

“lol delaware isn’t a real place.”

“what is all this talk of killing and death?”

“you’re here now, and you’re going to fix it. you’re going to make it right. you owe us that much, don’t you?”

“i don’t like to think about what happened; the pieces don’t make sense.”

“guess i was wrong about not needing to sneak in our own booze. luckily, i’m always prepared.”

“please don’t tease me.” / “i would never.” 

“everyone will stare.” / “they’re all staring anyway.”

“you! you broke everything!”

“what was that?”

“we won’t let them / him / her do this to you.”

“whatever else she is / he is / they are, name’s a loyal friend.”

“you need this. don’t let them know you have it.”

“you deserve— you all deserve to know.”

“can we get out of here?”

“come on. we’re going to make a bonfire.”

“i woke up in the middle of the night and it was glowing.”

“how do you know how to do this?”

“i can build a fire, administer basic first aid, and bullshit my way into making older people think i’m trustworthy.”

“he / she / they / you didn’t protect me from that.” 

“i’ve never not been a mom / dad / parent.”

“that’s the only time i ever got to be a kid.”

“don’t be a little shit.”

“you never forget the lesson that they would rather destroy you than let you inconvenience them.”

“it’s hard, and you’re doing it anyway.”

“fucktrumpet! shitgibbon! cockwomble!”

“be serious for once!”

“i need to know what happened to her / him / them / you / us.”

“anyone who was looking for you, anyone who took the trouble to find you: they’re not your friend.”

“you have to get out of there. now.”

“you can’t get better until you’ve hit rock bottom. you know that.”

“what if forgetting is a gift?” 

“i wish i could forget it.” 

“we missed you, name.”

“you didn’t give up, even when it got hard and a little scary. sometimes things are a little hard and scary. that’s when we need each other the most.”

“i am losing my mind.”

“i missed you the most.”

“i want it back.”

“i can’t force you to do it. but i need you to do this for me. for us.” 

“weird vibe in here, you guys.”

“please, come with me. nothing here is good for you.”

“i know that sounds sad but it wasn’t.”

“don’t look at me like i’m the one who’s being a bitch.” 

“what the hell? how is that possible?”

“tell me whether i saw what i think i saw.”

“how long have you been down here?”

“we don’t say that.” / “why not? they’re just words.”

“so really, all words are magic. something from nothing.”

“you were always good at words, weren’t you? good at making the others do what you wanted.”

“i’m tired of talking.”

“nothing is more powerful than imagination.”

“we all chose what to remember. or what to forget.”

“maybe it’s a deepfake.”

“fuck me. fuck me, fuck me. fuck all of us.”

“i’m sorry. i’m really, really sorry. i didn’t know.”

“i’ll see what they want.”

“name. fuckface. fuckface junior.”

“dunno what i did, dunno how to fix it, don’t really care.” 

“i’m going with you. we do this together.”

“you all realize this is insane, right? this is how we die.”

“at least i’ll go out doing what i love: being an absolute fuckwit making the worst possible choice.” / “no. being an absolute fuckwit making the worst possible choice in the best possible company.”

“is that how it was always supposed to feel?”

“i’m ready to break things.”

“i never would have left you.”

“i won’t let anything happen to you.”

“give me my fucking friends back.”

“tell me how to get you out of here. tell me how to fix it.”

“i believe in you. you protected us all back then, when we didn’t even know you were doing it. let us help you now.”

“we have to buy her / him / them / you time.”

“we should do what we do best.”

“it’s all still here.”

“let’s summon a demon!”

“this is so trippy! and stupid. i think it’s mold.”

“it’s not better in here, name. i know it feels like it could be, but it’s not. it never was.”

“you haven’t forgotten who you were, but you’re even better at it.”

“name is fucking with people who don’t have his / her / their best interests at heart.”

“that’s gotta be driving them insane to watch.”

“i’m nothing without it. i’ve never been anything without it.”

“you’ve always been enough by yourself. no one has ever been as loyal and smart and funny and fierce and deeply, deeply annoying as you.”

“i want to be a person. whole. happy with just myself. but how do we do that?” / “therapy.”

“in today’s session, i’d like to revisit the period of your childhood that was controlled by a minor deity in a pocket universe.”

“you’re all so stupid.”

“i love you, and i’m so proud of you.”

“you came back for us after all, name. i always knew you would.” / “really?” / “no. but i love being wrong. i’m really good at it.”

“he’s / she’s / they’re gone. you’ve always been good enough. you can do this alone.”

“i would have loved you so well.”

“you stayed.” / “i stayed.”

“go on. i believe in you.”

“you know what that’s like, if you let yourself remember.” 

“it’s not perfect, but it doesn’t need to be.”

[rei-does-stuff]

watched anymore episodes of the dub?

Yup! 4 eps! So this’ll be long!

SaH dub

Ep 7

-Bad voice acting strikes again!! They just can’t get it right

-They made Goseum a girl, #feminism???

-Please…Please stop using the same track over and over again I KNOW YOU HAVE DIFFERENT MUSIC PLEASE USE IT

-Drowing your enemies! You know, for kids!!!

-AGAIN WHY ARENT THEY CENSORING GEUM STABBING A GUY???

-They made Geum straight </3 this is so sad

-They talk about freedom so much…You are not the wolves Geum, you are no freedom loving American!!

-Also…Giving Geum a backstory of “oh I enrolled in the military with her blah blah blah” feels weird, ig just cuz im used to his regular backstory

-Everytime I hear Mul’s voice in this I wanna kill myself it’s so fucking irritating like HOW DO YOU MAKE IT THAT BAD??

-“You kidnapped me for no good reason!” Like theres a GOOD reason to kidnap someone???

-Geum is a TERRIBLE liar in this, how the hell is he staying undercover??

-Goseum being a badass girlboss is pretty cool tho ngl

-Even here Jogjebi is like “Geum is my bestie he would never hurt meee”

-Goseum is only good voice actor in this whole show

-“I wanna shoot something!” Lmao

-“What is he talking abt” EVEN THEYRE CONFUSED

-THEY TOOK THE HOMOEROTICISM OUT OF THE GOSEUM-GEUM BOUQUET SCENE I HATE THIS

-AGAIN WITH THEY JUST CUT TO THE CREDITS??

-Also I’m rewatching some of these in 2x speed and it’s…Very Very funny but it also makes me see how slow paced the dub makes everything feel, in the original the slow pace works but the dub just fucks it up in a way that I can’t really describe

Ep 8

-“My boy!” They are so father-soncore

-Again the untranslated Korean, 4kids was able to at least remove Japanese text why can’t you?

-This is NOT a battle of wills everyone here is dumb as rocks

-Geum im so sorry they dont know your character like I do </3

-I do like aekkus voice in this ngl…

-Mul is ALWAYS having a bad day NO MATTER WHAT!!

-“I promise well stop acting stupid”

They are all so brothercore in this too I do like it ngl

-“Well if you say so” THAT QUICKLY??

-The way they cut to the next scene is insane…

-The quality shifts is insane

-END AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME FOR ONCE

Ep 9

-Oh god the Goseumdochi death ep…

-Rodia’s voice is different AND bad wtf…Why did they ruin the only good voice actor

-Beautiful sound effects…Don’t you just love the horrible mixing of everything?

-“Oh no, its broken” you sound SO devastated Rodia

-Dan green once again explains what’s happening on screen

-They removed a lot of context for this too

-NO SONG EITHER :(

-“Without weaponry” EXCUSE ME??? HAVE YOU MET GOSEUMDOCHI??

-“Fight for freedom” things Geum would never say

-Again with the quality shifts…

-“You talking to me little rat??” iconic

-Terror? He’s barely done shit!!

Ep 10

-JOEY WHEELER?? FROM YUGIOH???

-JUL! Time for the “were brothers!” Censorship!

-His voice….I dont like it….

-NOT THIS MUSIC—

-Not the running sounds 😭

-Bad video quality strikes again

-Again no translation of korean text

-Not the yellow filter coming back with a vengeance 😭

-Now daramis a girl??? Transgenderism…omg

Overall they suck, had some funny moments tho so ykyk, rlly recommend watching it on 2x speed makes it WAY more tolerable

[fairyniceyeah]

Here’s a gold star ⭐️. I can’t think of a fic that I want more context for, so it’s up to you!

Love, Your favorite Texan

Hey @writercloud 🩷!

This was long, long overdue from over a month ago. As my inbox is currently exploding with requests I found this and have to admit I totally forgot about it 😅

It was really hard to decide on which fic I wanted to talk about – but since it’s you (the reason why I first got into posting here and why I am even a Carat now, so lots of thanks 🩷) I decided on the Hajoon series. Part 3 – Eclipse and this section in particular:

Woosung – he could immediately tell from the light footsteps – flicked on the light, walked up towards him and sighed. Was he angry that Hajoon was still in bed? But they didn’t have any schedules, did they? Then a careful hand came to stroke his hair away from his forehead and the leader whispered: “Hajoon-ah, time to wake up.” Hajoon couldn’t pretend any longer. He was normally a light sleeper and he knew Woosung would know something was up or know he was faking if he didn’t wake up. So he slowly blinked open his eyes, faking yawning which turned into real yawning. “Good morning, baby”, Woosung greeted him with his typical smile, “there you are. How are you feeling today?” Why was he faking this concern? Hajoon didn’t understand. “You slept like twelve hours straight, we were getting worried”, Woosung continued oblivious to Hajoon’s inner struggle, “you must be really exhausted, huh?” Hajoon nodded, dumbfounded. He was exhausted. His stomach growled and he realized that he hadn’t eaten in close to twenty-four hours. Woosung grinned a bit at the sound. “You’re still really sleepy. That’s okay”, Woosung added, still stroking Hajoon’s hair, “yesterday really took you out, hm? We wanted to go out and get something to eat, maybe even go up to Namsam Tower. If you’re not up to that, we can stay in too.” What was he supposed to say? He was hungry but going through half the city and being forced to watch the trio interact sounded terrible. Forcing them to stay in was also not an option – it seemed like they really wanted to have fun together with their plans (their plans he wasn’t asked his opinion about). Maybe he could convince them to go without him. And it creeps on me like a sunrise And it swallows me into black skies “Hyung, I think I’m getting a migraine”, Hajoon whispered, “I’ll stay here but you can go out.” “Oh, I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. That was all a bit too much information for you just now, baby? Hyung is sorry. How about we all stay in and we go out on a different day?”, the leader suggested, sounding worried. But he got up and left. Hajoon wasn’t sure if he was happy about it or not. Then the overhead light was turned off and Woosung returned to his bedside with the glow of his phone-screen. Oh. His hyung had just flicked off the light, knowing it would bother Hajoon (if he actually had a migraine). Hajoon felt overwhelmed. This sweet, kind hyung was not the hard leader from last night. He didn’t understand the two versions of Woosung – the one who would make sure that Hajoon was comfortable and the one who wanted to get rid of him. It didn’t make any sense! “Better?”, Woosung asked. Hajoon whispered back a small “yes”. “What do you need? Medication, bucket, icepack?”, the leader continued. “I … not right now. It’s not bad yet, I just want it to not get worse. Please, I just wanna sleep. You three go out and enjoy.” “But, baby”, Woosung protested, smoothing the blanket over Hajoon’s shoulder, “we want to go out as a group. We’d miss you. Let us stay here and take care of you today and when you’re better we’ll go.” We’d miss you. If Hajoon hadn’t felt so miserable and confused he would have laughed. Miss him? Hajoon? On a few hours trip when they actually didn’t want him in the group anymore? The lie was as ridiculous as it was sad.

As you know, Hajoon is my bias in The Rose – I think it’s his quiet and unassuming personality, that makes him seem innocent and shy. He likely is shy and quiet, we often see him only interact loudly with his members and considering that Jaehyeong is often referred to as the “mother of the band”, it seems probable that Hajoon is their baby. But remember, these are just my thoughts.

Above is a scene I re-read a lot myself. I just love it and I think – without wanting to sound arrogant – it’s one of my best. I wanted to show how easily a few words can hurt. In the chapter before Hajoon overhears his members talking about him what sounds to him as a bad way (which it in the end turns out wasn’t). But still, just a few misinterpreted words can make your world shatter.

To be honest, it happened to me well after I wrote that but I saw a chat between somebody who I consider a friend and an acquaintance. My friend talked about having to endure the whole week with “her” – and, since I was the only person I could think of at first that both of them knew at that place, I was deeply hurt and very insecure in the relationship. Days later it occurred to me that another person was likely meant that I had forgotten about but the damage is done. I still doubt the relationship.

This exactly happens to Hajoon here and for him, worst of all, he isn’t treated any differently than normal. Woosung is as kind and sweet to him as he always is, especially when knowing Hajoon is sick. Woosung pays a lot of attention to Hajoon and instantly recognizes something is wrong, even if he thinks it’s just a migraine. He treats Hajoon lovingly and gentle, as if Hajoon could break. It’s how I would wish to be treated if I wasn’t feeling well.

But to Hajoon? It confusing and overwhelming. Just hours ago he heard his members – the people he trusts and loves - calling him weird and basically saying he was fucking up the whole concert behind his back and now Woosung is acting as if nothing happened. Hajoon doesn’t understand his whole world anymore and, with him already feeling pushed aside at the concert before, he spirals.

He convinced himself he heard his members wanting him out of the band and now Woosung pulls a 180° and says they would miss him in a short trip. It doesn’t make sense, and Hajoon is confused and depressed and it’s the start of a really bad mental health phase for him. I needed this to be a set-up point for everything that happens after and I stand the firm belief that mental health fics need to be long and deep, they can’t just be done in a few short, undescriptive lines.

For me it was important to show how people can feel tossed away and unwanted even if you give them all the attention. Depression makes you think that you are hated and gives you reasons to believe it. It can take you too dark, dark places and if nobody notices, you can fall down so deeply you can’t get back up. Insecurity and hate is everything your mind can focus on.

The Rose has always been about mental health – just look at the lyrics of She’s in the Rain, Eclipse, You’re beautiful, Lifeline, See-Saw (which even explicably talks about Jaehyeong’s depression) – and it always will be. The members talk about their problems on Mindset, the information I used to write this fic, and it makes it real for the fans. This is why I love the band and why wanted to show this vulnerability and the ability of depression to destroy everything in this fandom.

In this light: Please, if you do feel like this, like Hajoon feels in this story or you know somebody who does, seek help! Life and your brain may not be kind to you at the moment, hell, I had a lot of these moments, but I promise it’s not an empty promise to say that things do get better!

And Woosung says it himself all the time: They formed the band to show music is healing and it can be!

See-Saw:

Hello, it’s me, I’m here

And you’re okay, don’t worry

[the-californicationist]

For the ask game, if you’re willing: ❤️ and 💛

No pressure though. Love your work!

That makes me so happy. I really appreciate that, friend. Also! Thank you so much for this ask!! 🩷

❤️ — I think the line that I wrote that sticks in my head the most is from Gunslinger, which doesn’t make much sense out of context but alas:

“Let him eat your bones right up, your faithful coyote, all the brokenness within you.”

However, I am most proud of the writing that I was able to accomplish in The Devil’s Summer. It’s a hard fic to read, though. Dark stuff.

💛 — The most impactful lesson I’ve learned from this process is that you should never rush to the good part.

I have written over 95 fanfiction stories in the past year, I have 525k words inked down, and I’m sure there’s a few tumblr drabbles that I can stack on top of the pile as well. Throughout all of them, I have a terrible habit of sprinting to the part that I want to read. I’ll have it written a hundred different ways, imagined it a thousand times in my mind. Whatever it is — the big fight scene, the first kiss, the earth-shattering confessional — whatever the good part is, I hurry towards it, hungry like I’ll starve without it. But, the rush takes the glory from it. Details add to the taste, like spices to a meal, and without them, I feel like some of my big moments fall flat.

I hate slow burns. I hate writing them. I hate reading them. And yet, I’m starting to realize that I just hate waiting to see if the good part will come true.

A good slow burn, with a talented author, will drop little crumbs, small promises, letting you know what’s coming. She’ll whisper between the lines, “I know what you want. It’s here. Just wait!” And I find myself trusting those stories. Banking on them. And then realizing that the good part was only good because I consumed all of the other bites around it. If the main meal is always dessert, who wants more cake?

And I think, through this realization, I have also learned to be more patient with myself. If you knew me back in October 2023, I was churning out 150k words per month. I thought I had to hurry. I thought no one wanted to wait for me. I wasn’t worth waiting for.

But that has changed for me. I don’t run myself ragged anymore because I think I’m worth waiting for. I think my work is worth my own patience. And when I do deliver a post or a chapter or whatever, I think it shows that it was built and crafted with care, spiced and salted and grilled to be at its best.

And it has taught me just how much more learning I have to do. That desire to rush, to skip, to only eat (or read) the dessert is still there. It still taunts me. I can still hear myself in my mind saying, “Why would anyone wait on this when they can pull up tumblr or AO3 and get something else right now?” And teaching myself to ignore that negativity, to power through with my details, to trust my gut and write about all of the intricacies that I think are important; I have learned to try to listen to that part of myself. It’s becoming easier to do so.

When people bemoan George R. R. Martin for taking “too long”, I think that if people feel that way about a world class author, surely they must also feel that way about the fanwork they read. Hell, people have even stolen fanwork to feed AI machines just because they “want an ending”. And I thought that was the norm, but now I just feel sorry for those people. They can’t understand how much sweeter the treat would be if they had just been willing to wait for the work to be done in the way it was meant to be done. I feel sad for them that they will never realize the potential for what was unfinished.

I used to only read completed fics. I didn’t want to wait. I needed to know how it ends. Does the hero survive the evil? Do the lovers tell each other the truth? Does he actually fuck her in that one bed they have to share!? But not anymore. Now, I taste the little clues the author leaves behind for me. I listen to her voice as I read: “Trust me!” And so I do. I don’t mind waiting for the good part anymore. I subscribe, I bookmark, and I comment to tell them how much I am enjoying being fed.

As a writer, I need to get better at that patience. On waiting for the good part to come. It’s not always easy, but it’s been a good lesson.

[frostyyyroyalmilktea]

Why Vesna’s “My sister’s crown” in no feminist anthem but a Trojan horse filled with pro-russian messaging

My thoughts as a Ukrainian with a poli-sci degree.

I was debating whether to write this post but as the discourse around this song grows, I want to give people from other countries some context on the messaging used in the song and why Ukrainians are grossed out by it.

While I was writing it this post grew a mind of its own and I even ended up adding pictures so I'll fold the post here in case you don't care and just want to scroll through quickly.

First of all, it’s worth mentioning that this song attracted so much attention from Ukrainians because they use UKRAINIAN LANGUAGE in the chorus. It’s an important detail seeing how one of the singers is russian. A lot of Ukrainians share the opinion that letting a russian woman sing in our language is a completely vile thing to do to our culture. I agree with it too. But the abuse of our culture doesn’t stop there.

See this shot? This is supposed to be Borsch, a traditional Ukrainian dish. It’s worth mentioning that russia tried to appropriate this dish and in 2022 we fought tooth and nail to have UNESCO protect it as part of Ukrainian heritage. But back to the shot. The letters around it are supposed to symbolize russian propaganda. Great start🙄

But it gets better, lads. They start “feeding the propaganda” to the girl that —judging by stylistic choices as well as matryoshka makeup—  is supposed to represent russian people.

Right, so they *checks notes* use Ukrainian cultural dish —that russians almost succeeded in stealing from us— to show… what exactly? “Poor russians🥺 uwu” getting brainwashed? Oh, then let me grab my handkerchief. This is so so sad I think I’m about to cry😶😶😶

I mean, just a thought but if they wanted to show how shitty russian government treats its people, they could’ve recreated the historically accurate moment when russian tzar Ivan the Terrible shoved his underling’s face into a boiling soup. What does Ukraine and our long-suffering dish has to do with all this bs???

Now let’s talk about that “Crown”, that is supposed to belong to the sister (aka Ukraine). To me, as a poli-sci major, this is so stupid I don’t even know whether to laugh or cry. From the words of the band themself, where they explain —quite poorly might I say— the meaning of their song, we learn that “Crown” symbolizes the sovereignty of the 13 Eastern-European countries. Sounds perfectly valid. Here's a few random countries that I can remember from the top of my head in no particular order that have crowns in their symbols:

Coat of arms of the Czech Republic, Coat of arms of Serbia, Flag of Poland and Flag of Croatia

I actually decided that I don't want to have russian flag and emblem in this post because I don't want to look at it every time I scroll through, but you can go google it if you want, they have not one but two crowns on their emblem actually.

So what am I leading up to with all this flag-talk, you might ask. Well, the kicker is that THIS ⬇️ is Ukrainian emblem:

Not a crown in sight as you can see. I guess as a nation that was constantly fighting against imperial colonisation we’re not very fond of those. Who could’ve guessed🤷‍♀️

But the aforementioned two points are pretty circumstantial and in the grand scheme of things are not particularly significant. I felt compelled to point them out first to give people from other countries a bit of insight into the music video's visual. You are free to disagree with me on those. The main problem that triggers the majority of Ukrainians is the use of the word "sister". Listen, I know you don’t want to read a lecture on the nuance of Slav politics and I don’t really want to write it, I know you know how to google. So here’s the gist:

One of the BIGGEST narratives that russia is pushing in its export propaganda (aside from their go-to claim that all ukrainians are nazis) is that Slavs are all a family. Talk about shitty relatives, eh? But basically, it’s a lingering thing from USSR where russia exploited a bunch of neighboring countries and called this shit a “Union” (while convincing the rest of the world that those countries entered that union willingly and not under threats —or as a result of— hostile invasions, but I digress). So the way russia frames it is that russia is this big brother that "takes care of other little siblings”. Even writing it down made me want to barf🤢🤢🤢. This narrative was specifically very actively weaponized against Ukraine before the 2022 invasion. Its goal is to infantilize Ukraine as if we're not a whole-ass independent country, but a little sibling that doesn't know how to wipe their own ass. And that we just need good ol’ russia to come and save us from our own stupidity. I hope I shed some light on why this word specifically triggers us so much and why I think that this song has 0 to do with solidarity and overall is complete populistic bs with a generous dash of russian propaganda.

I want to emphasize that I didn’t make this post to fight or argue with anyone  but to give people another perspective if you’re interested in it from my pov as a Ukrainian. If you have other takes on it, I’d love to read them in the comments. Just please be respectful or I won’t interact.

This is all I have to say for today. Love, love, peace, peace, my dudes.

[sophieswundergarten]

@nobodysdaydreams GET OVER HERE AND ANSWER FOR YOUR CRIMES

The lyrics filled me with such a sense of impending doom asdfjdsfj

Poor Nerissa. She’s trying so hard and she’s doing so much worse than Nathaniel

SQ choosing not to eat all of the food is such a small defiance, but such a great one. It’s a really clever way to show how he feels about the situation

And, of course, the terrible singing and dancing is what convinces SQ. I want to see all of the Benedict siblings dance now

I love that “She borrowed the identity of an old artist friend she hadn’t seen or spoken to in years and used her psychic powers to convince the hiring committee at a major university to let her teach an art history class and make the class a mandatory requirement for all incoming art majors and have it fulfill the school’s general education fine arts requirement (just in case her nephew decided to change majors)” is a single sentence. It just adds to the single-breath, maniacal rambling feel of Nerissa’s inner monologue

Devin /derogatory

Oh, Nerissa. You can’t just tell people everything they do is perfect. That’s not how a relationship grows, or even functions. The lack of self-awareness in her perspective is both gorgeously written and utterly heartbreaking. She probably hasn’t had a single person in her life to learn healthy coping mechanisms or relationships from. I never thought you’d show us someone who was worse than Natheniel, but she’s giving him a run for his money

I still can’t get over how you keep throwing in references to “the magic of ABBA”, it makes me stop and laugh every time. Dangit, Bods, I’m trying to be serious! /lh

““That was acting, dear, it’s not the same as lying,” Nerissa informed him calmly”

NERISSA

SOMEONE HELP THIS WOMAN PLEASE TAKE HER TO THERAPY A COUNSELLOR JUST EVEN A REGULAR OLD PERSON SHE CAN TALK TO AND LEARN MORALS FROM

Oh, I just want to give her the biggest hug, even though she’d probably hate it and zap me with her psychic powers

Nerissa is just as scared as Nathaniel, probably more so because she has a somewhat(?) concrete concept of the Bad Thing she’s scared of in a way he doesn’t

I wish she didn’t have to be so afraid, it makes me so sad…

SHE’S SO SHOCKED. SHE REALLY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHY SQ’S UPSET. GRRRRRRRR I WISH I COULD MAGICALLY BE A PART OF THE STORY AND MEDIATE FOR THEM

Violet mention!!! Violet mention!!!

I appreciate the phrasing of “they catered to (for lack of a better or more appropriate terminology in SQ’s vocabulary and experience) “addicts and crazy people””

Now, I have to admit, I was completely blindsided by the Psychic SQ bit. I don’t know how I missed it, but I about exploded when I reached this part

I’m getting really concerned about this… “facility” and how it operated

These voices are so scary, I can see how she’s overwhelmed and confused. That would petrify me

See, you keep having Nerissa do these crazy things that are hurting other people but then she just feels like a scared child who’s lashing out irrationally because there’s no one there to help her. I’m not saying I’m upset; it’s phenomenal writing. It just makes me sad

And of course, SQ has a completely different context for what’s going on

He’s just feeling completely betrayed by, like, every adult ever

Poor kiddo

“He supposed his inability to stop caring was always going to be his most troublesome quality”

SCREAMING CRYING WAILING

Your carpet tacks are MINE

I have SO MANY questions about why the code was 1-2-3-4. Was she oversimplifying it because she figured everyone else would overthink it? Was she trying to teach SQ how to use his intuition to guess something easy? Did she forget to change the default when she bought it from her evil lockmaker? SO MANY QUESTIONS

I feel like maybe the buzzing was supposed to protect SQ from whatever Nerissa had going on? I’m not sure, but I’m very curious

And he’s scared! Of course he’s scared, but he doesn’t have anyone to help or comfort him. And he’s still just a kid :( 

“No…this had to be some sort of mistake…this…this couldn’t be because of her!”

I am thinking there is something else going on here. I don’t know what, you probably have the proper psychology words for it, Bods, but there’s a distinct reason she’s reacting this way. Maybe denial? Like, grief?

Secret doors! They all have a thing about hidden passageways, don’t they?

WHOO

Time for the next chapter, which I have not read yet!! I’m really excited

Like. You would not BELIEVE how much I have been looking forward to this

How long have they been playing to have completed one hundred and eighty-four games of chess? Is Crawlings just really, really bad at chess?

Oh no. I remember the meme about this. How could you use the white knight lesson with the Ten Men???? GAH! Jail, jail for Bods for one thousand years!!! /j

I actually made the stupidest little laugh sound when I read Sharpe implying that Crawlings has an imaginary girlfriend. That’s such goofy, juvenile humour. What are they doing ajsdgjhsd?

I guess if all their games are that fast I could see how they’ve played that many already

WAIT. WAIT, DID KATE’S MOM USED TO BE AN AGENT TOO?? BODS GET BACK HERE I DEMAND ANSWERS

““To meet a higher caliber of women?” suggested Sharpe, looking up at the screen at Dipika”

Actually, kind of funny. Still want to punch him, though

BITING BITING BITING

I HAVE NO NOTES

I AM OUT OF NOTES

I AM JUST FERAL AND ON THE GROUND

ASGHHHGHSUUASDGUDJKGJKGSDJDSGJJSKDKSDGKJHSDKJ

BODS, you GENIUS. You MASTERMIND, you VILLAIN.

I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!

I mean, spectacular job, as always. You are really just so talented at writing, and I love that I get to read your work. Thank you so very much for sharing it. I am now going to go lay down and let the grass consume me. Farewell.

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

Clara and the Bad Dinosaur

(Dieter x horror loving female)

Words: 1, 687

Summary: playing the wrong movie results in a disaster of the toddler variety (artwork can be found here)

Warnings: poor little toddler cries, Dieter gets sad, mild angst but lots of happy fluffy stuff at the end, mild spoilers for Jurassic Park 3 and Jurassic World

Check out masterlist here

Parenting had its good and bad days, its ups and downs. Today was one which had both. You had gone out for a simple errand but as soon as you walked in the door, you were bombarded with tears as your daughter ran up to you crying.

“Mummy! The bad dinosaur!”

“Bad dinosaur?” you looked to your husband for context. Dieter was looking like he had committed possibly the worst crime and immediately regretted it.

“I accidentally put on Jurassic Park 3 instead of Jurassic Park,”

“Rexy dead!” she wailed. Now it all made sense.

“Oh, my sweet little pumpkin,” you cuddled her close to you, “Rexy isn’t dead.”

“No?” Her voice had calmed a little.

“No. Dr. Grant went to a different dinosaur island. So the Spinosaurus killed a different T-Rex. Your Rexy is still alive.”

“Rexy not dead?”

Dieter chimed in, “She shows up in Jurassic World.”

“World?” Clara asked and now you knew that she would want to watch this film. You sighed away the frustration of this upcoming task.

“We can watch that later. You went through a big sad emotion, and I think you need a nap to feel better,” you kissed her little face which was showing signs of being tired. You scooped her up and, after washing her face, put her down for a nap. Coming out of her bedroom, you found no signs of your husband. Eventually you found he had retreated to the bathroom. Dieter was lying in the empty bathtub, hoping to drown himself in his sadness.

“Dieter, what’s going on?”

“I’m a terrible father,” he sounded so convinced.

You tried to reassure him, “No you’re not.”

“I made our daughter cry.”

“You didn’t mean to though,” you hopped into the bathtub and snuggled close to him, “You made one silly mistake. I’m sure I’d put on the wrong Land Before Time, which is the one she likes?”

“The second one. She’s not ready for the first one, and Chomper is her favourite.”

“Why does our daughter love T-Rexes so much?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know, they both have tiny arms?” the mood lightened as you both chuckled.

“You’re a great father,” before you could deny this, you continued, “You can play with her for hours, I’m exhausted after 10 minutes. And you make her laugh so much. I swear she’ll burst into bubbles of giggles from how much you make her laugh.”

Dieter smiled, “Well, you’re good at dealing with her when she’s being difficult or sad.”

It was your turn to shrug, “I’m used to dealing with difficult clients. It’s a lot more understandable with toddlers, they’re so much easier to deal with.”

“They’re also so much cuter.”

“Dieter, your hand is on my butt.”

“Sorry.”

“No, it means I know you’re feeling better.”

“I’m feeling a lot better,” his hand wandered over the rest of your body, getting higher and higher until you gave him a warning grumble, “So you don’t want to get naked?”

“Not right now. Clara will be up from her nap soon and she’ll want to watch Jurassic World, so you’ll have to distract her while I fast forward through any sad parts.”

“Can we skip through the dialogue? Some of it’s worse than Cliff Beasts.”

You nodded, “Who talks like that? And I’m skipping that kid staring at that girl because it’s downright creepy.” You both got out of the bathtub, “Do you want to wake her or make a snack?”

“I can wake her if you want.” You parted in the hallway. Dieter gently woke up Clara.

“Cupcake, time to wake up,” she slowly opened her eyes, “Hey, I’m sorry I put on the wrong dinosaur movie.”

“It’s okay.” She got up and wrapped herself around her father’s neck like a baby sloth and he carried her out to the living room.

“So, do you want spaghetti or meatballs for dinner?”

“I have both?”

“You want both?” he gave a silly dramatic sigh, “I guess you can.”

He put her down and she immediately ran over to where you had put some snacks on the coffee table. As you all settled on the couch, you put on the movie.

“I was offered a part in this film.”

This fact surprised you, “Were you?”

“Yeah, but I hate franchise films and there was too much green screen.”

You would have furthered enquired about this, but you needed to be the parental guidance for this film. You reassured her that the pig definitely didn’t get eaten by the Velociraptors and shielded her from seeing it actually getting eaten.

Clara was very much like her mother and loved a scary movie, but even some things were too much for a little one. “That the bad dinosaur?” Clara asked about the Indominus Rex.

“It’s not a very nice dinosaur pumpkin.” You were worried this would be too scary a dinosaur, but she was distracted as her eyes lit up over the baby dinosaur petting zoo and lit up even further when the film took everyone to the Tyrannosaurus enclosure. “Look, it’s Rexy.” But there was not enough of her favourite dinosaur to see.

You all watched the Indominus break through its habitat and started eating people, Clara felt it needed telling off.

“Bad dinosaur.” It was so funny and cute the both of you couldn’t help but laugh at your daughter.

The display of herbivore carnage lay ahead so you gave Dieter the toddler distraction signal and he bent down to be eye level with her, blocking the TV, protecting her from any potential sadness.

“Do you think a T-Rex would like spaghetti and meatballs?”

“No.”

“No? If I gave Rexy a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, would she eat it?”

“She’d eat you!”

“She would?” she giggled in response, “Well, that’s rude of her.”

The flying dinosaur scene was going to be a potential source of sadness, so another toddler distraction was in order and Dieter went right ahead with it.

“Do you think dinosaurs like ice cream?”

“I don’t know.”

“Would long necks like ice cream?”

“They like tree stars!”

“Oh, so they would like tree star flavoured ice cream.” Clara thought her daddy was being very silly and giggled accordingly.

Once all the human aspects were taken out of the equation, Jurassic World ended up being quite an enjoyable film. And you both didn’t have to voice the various plot holes which displayed a tremendous amount of human stupidity. Now it was the final battle between Indominus Rex and good old Rexy. It looked like the poor girl was going to lose and Clara was ready to bury her face into your side in concern. But suddenly, Blue came to her rescue, they displayed a surprising amount of teamwork and the Indominus was finally dispatched by the Mosasaurus. T-Rex and Velociraptor, usually foes, came together to fight a common enemy, simply nodded to each other that their paths may cross not this day, but another time.

As Rexy step onto the platform overlooking her kingdom, she gave a triumphant roar making her rule noted and marking the end of the movie. Clara roared in response.

She spent the rest of the evening reenacting the final dinosaur fight with her dad and her various soft toys. Dieter was roped into playing the part of Rexy while she was Blue and the director.

“Rahr?”

“No, Rahr!”

“Rahr! Is that right?”

“Yeah!”

He popped the toddler onto his shoulders, “Come on Blue, let’s get that bad dinosaur!”

“Rexy don’t talk,” she corrected.

“Sorry: Rahr!”

Mr. Lobster played an appropriate Mosasaurus and after defeating the bad dinosaur, tried to chomp your leg while you were making dinner. It took a while for Clara to shake off the part of her role while her dad, a seasoned professional, could go back to be adorable old Dieter.

“Oh no, our daughter has turned into a dinosaur.”

Dieter towered behind her, “Well, I guess you don’t want dinner.”

“No,” she looked up at him and seemed so upset, “I want besketti!”

“You can most certainly have besketti little missy!” He picked her up in a cuddle and put her in her chair. You all ate with a dinosaur appetite, thankfully without the mess they would usually leave. Dieter washed up while you gave Clara a bath. She peeked her little head from beneath the bubbles and motioned her arms to snap together biting some invisible prey.

“Are you the Mosasaurus?”

“Yeah, I’m the Momosaur!” she exclaimed. “I eat bad dinosaurs!”

It was at this point that Dieter came in with her pyjamas. “Am I a bad dinosaur?” he asked.

“No, you’re daddy!”

As you dried her off and put her in pyjamas, not dinosaur themed, she was starting to droop in exhaustion. You tucked her into bed and gave her a little kiss on the nose.

“I love boo!”

“Love boo!”

You stood by the door as it was Dieter’s turn to say goodnight.

“I guess after all those dinosaurs, you want a dinosaur song.”

She shook her head, “No.”

“No?”

“I want my song.”

“Your song?” he gave a silly dramatic sigh, “Okay.”

She cooed in excitement as her father got his hands to dance tickles over her while he sang.

“Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh. Chubby, little, stubby all stuffed with fluff” he chuckled her tummy like she was stuffed with fluff,“he’s Winnie the Pooh,” he booped her nose, “Winnie the Pooh. Willy, nilly, silly old bear.”

“Daddy.”

“Yes cupcake?”

“I love you.”

“I love you,” he kissed her forehead as she fell into a peaceful sleep and quietly shut the door and moved into your waiting arms.

“Do I need to say I told you so?”

“Okay, I’m a pretty good dad.”

“Pretty good? I’d say you’re the best, most amazing, most handsome dad ever.”

“Well, I can’t do it without the best, most amazing, most beautiful mama ever.”

“Your hand is on my butt again.”

“Sorry.”

“It can stay there.”

“So can we…?” he asked, and you nodded, “Oh, I’m going to show you how sexy a mama you are!”

Films referenced: Jurassic Park (1993), Jurassic Park 3 (2001), Jurassic World (2015), The Land Before Time (1988), The Land Before Time 2 (1994)

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @brilliantopposite187 @chaithetics @myloveistoolittle @cevans-is-classic @glshmbl

[froizetta]

WIP Wednesday: Brucie's guide to avoiding traffic jams

This week, here's something from the cutting room floor of my ongoing fic (Love) Triangles, presented with minimal context so as to avoid spoilers. This scene was meant to introduce Bruce's/Brucie's POV but it ended up not fitting, which is kinda sad because I liked how it turned out. So here it is, in case I don't manage to work it in somewhere after all!

It was a crisp autumn evening in central Metropolis. The rain that plagued Gotham had miraculously ceased almost the instant he’d crossed over into her sister city, which was both meteorologically improbable and completely unsurprising. Rather than hurrying along under dark coats and umbrellas, the citizens here seemed content to stroll casually along well-lit streets. There were areas of Metropolis that were more subdued, closer to what Bruce was used to. But here in the center of things, everything was bold and new and shiny even at night, gleaming art deco illuminated by sun-yellow streetlights. Glancing around, all Bruce could see was shining chrome and twinkling glass.

He suppressed the urge to grimace. Instead he scanned the sidewalk until he found what he was looking for and plastered on his most charming smile. “Hey there, Mr. Parking Valet? Could you come over here, please?” he called out.

Hearing a faint voice over the hum of background traffic, the man glanced around in confusion for several seconds before his eyes landed on Bruce, halfway out of his car and waving at him enthusiastically. The valet blinked and pointed to himself questioningly. Bruce nodded encouragingly and beckoned him over.

Warily, the valet approached. He was young, younger than Bruce, probably early to mid twenties with a neatly styled mop of mousy brown hair and a skillfully pressed uniform. Worn leather shoes carefully polished until they shone. He probably would struggle to afford a room at the hotel he worked at, but he took his job seriously. He wanted to impress.

He would do.

“Can I help you, sir?” he asked politely.

Bruce beamed. “Why yes, you sure can, um…” He squinted at the man’s nametag. “Jeremy. Sorry for calling you over so rudely like that, I can’t exactly leave the car when it’s running. That would be terribly unsafe, you know.”

Jeremy glanced at the car. Bruce could spot the exact moment the guy twigged the make and model: a rapid blink, the slightest raising of his eyebrows. When he lifted his gaze, his eyes swept across Bruce’s watch and the expensive cut of his tux.

“Ah, yes, sir. I understand,” Jeremy said smoothly.

He’d decided to humor him. Perfect.

“Oh, I’m so glad,” Bruce gushed. “I knew as soon as I saw you across the street that you’d be an understanding fellow.”

He tipped his head politely. “You’re too kind, sir.”

“What can I say? I call it like I see it, Gerald, that’s just how I am.”

Jeremy’s poker face was admirable – not so much as a twitch. He was going to go far in this business.

“But enough about that,” Bruce continued, smiling broadly. “As to the reason I called you here…well, I’m actually in something of a fix! You see, I’m supposed to be at an event at that building over there—” here, he indicated Lexcorp’s ostentatious façade with his right hand and frowned at the watch on his left “—oh, about an hour and a half ago, now. And there comes a point whereby I’m no longer fashionably late but rather I’ve very unfashionably missed all the fun – and, most importantly, the most palatable offerings from the champagne selection. You can relate, I’m sure.”

“Of course, sir,” Jeremy said, nodding soberly.

“Of course,” Bruce agreed, equally soberly. “But as you can see, this terrible traffic is just not budging! By the time I’m unstuck from this jam, the only sparkling wine left at the open bar will probably be prosecco. Prosecco! I mean, can you imagine?”

“No, sir,” Jeremy said.

“No indeed!” he cried. “So you see, I was wondering if you might park my car for me in the parking lot of your fine hotel and save me the aggravation of missing my party. I would of course compensate you for your time, but you’d truly be doing me a wonderful service.”

Jeremy’s expression turned politely apologetic. “Well, sir, I’m afraid the parking lot is reserved for those who have rooms in the hotel. As much as I’d love to help you, I wouldn’t like to get in trouble with my boss.”

Bruce nodded. “That’s understandable, Jermaine. I wouldn’t want for a nice man like yourself to get into any trouble. Although…are you sure we can’t come to some kind of arrangement?” He raised an eyebrow meaningfully. “I’m an extremely generous tipper, you see.”

Jeremy blinked. “Oh. How extremely generous, exactly, if I might ask?”

Bruce said nothing and smiled wider.

Jeremy glanced once more at the watch and swallowed. And then, after a brief moment of consideration, he said with a bright, professional smile, “Very well, sir! I’d be happy to help.”

Bruce gave his shoulder a jovial slap. “There’s a good man! I knew you’d come through for me.”

He pulled out a handful of bills from his wallet and handed them over, along with his car keys and a business card. Jeremy’s eyes went wide. “Take my card. If your bosses give you any trouble over this, just call this number. I’m confident my secretary can work something out with them.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows were at his hairline now. Bruce wasn’t sure whether it was because of the neat stack of hundreds he’d just been handed or the name on the card – but in the end, it didn’t really matter, did it? The end result was the same.

“I— Of course, sir! Thank you for your generosity.”

“No, Geoffrey,” Bruce said emphatically, taking the man by his shoulders and looking him dead in the eye. “Thank you.”

He left a grateful Jeremy with his still-running car and hurried the remaining block over to Lexcorp.

He’d wasted enough time already as it was.