#but it’s literally so that all of the food is accessible
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the fact that they made optimus pull a Satine Kryze is genuinely fucking hilarious to me
like optimus. king. banishing all of your prisoners of war to a barren landscape with little to no infrastructure (for shelter, medical facilities, and for processing food) and denying them access to parts of their religion and making them vulnerable to attacks from offworld antagonists (and in OP’s case, if any cogless cybertronians decided to go with megatron, they just… don’t get their t-cogs back?!) DOES NOT make you a GOOD GUY who has SAVED THE PLANET from the evil people who accept violence as a solution ♥ that makes you the guy that created a societal divide so deep it will literally take generations to heal and will encourage future acts of terrorism since you’ve taken away almost everything from people who were willing to commit acts of violence before you made them desperate
and in optimus’s case doesn’t end a civil war but starts it lmfao
#as you can see i think pre vizsla was right but anyways#transformers#transformers one#tf1#tf1 spoilers#transformers one spoilers
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this guy does not know how to fucking go on a roadtrip
#timothy's txts.#dude there is a SYSTEM in PLACE so it is not MISERABLE to go on a roadtrip with people#and that includes having responsibility of your own stuff#like i get that there’s ‘so much space’ back here#but it’s literally so that all of the food is accessible#and i have to be the one to grab all the food and get woken up to grab snacks and so on and so forth my man#so if you wanna have a pillow and large blanket by all means go for it#but if you’re gonna immediately gonna shove them in the back without even folding the blanket#then expect some pushback#i’m fine with it rn but if we need to have a conversation i AM gonna lay it out before you#it’s not rules for fucking rules sakes or just because our family does it differently it’s because these rules are written in Blood#tw swearing#hm. i think i am not a six am morning person
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I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#heron#ig??? BRUH..................#these fireworks are going to SET ME ON FIRE!!!!#but that's alr i guess!!!!!!!!!#because charcoal grilled prawn literally solves all my problems#before thinking about killing people i need everyone to sit down and think of their favourite food#and manifest the version of them that has it!!!!!!!!#maybe then all compulsions and intrusions of the mind can just go away#what if we all just pictured better versions of ourselves and just did it!!!#if we all stretched out our hands and tried we can at least live in the world knowing we did try!!#and it's better than not trying!!!!! AND BEING USELESS PIECES OF ROTTING GARBAGE!!!!!!#idk i've had a shit three years man i don't think i can take this any longer#IGNORE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND INSTEAD NOW LET'S THINK OF THE GOODIES YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or now if you offer up your wallet to OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR sleepacross#and for the SMALL price of 5USD that's right 5USD!!!! this is to the people with credit/debit cards ofc#YOU CAN ACCESS THE GOATACROSS QNA BECAUSE IT IS PEAK!!!!!!#but just because the juninators[on here in case they aren't in the server] need to hear this so we can all sing happy birthday to her#INSTEAD OF MISSING IT FOR TWO YEARS#AND HAVING A WHOLE WINTER/CHRISTMAS COMPETITION IN DISCORD WITH MEMES AND ALL WITHOUT THIS CRUCIAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!#I THINK BECAUSE I KEEP THESE IN TAGS IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT HER BIRTHDAY IS DEC 24TH AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY HAPPY LATE/HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY#TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN JUNI CHANG#BECAUSE NOW I JUST SHAFTED A 40K WIP I NEVER FINISHED FOR LAST YEAR'S WINTER SEASON FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF 2024 IN THE RECYCLE BIN!!#BUT NOW WE CAN GIVE HER QUINTICE THE AMOUNT OF GIFTS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! SO LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!!!!#ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!! ONE FOR CHRISLER!!! ONE FOR CIVIL SERVICE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!#ANOTHER FOR BEING PEAK MENTOR!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR BEING GOD'S SILLIEST SOLDIER!!!![in our hearts!!]#APOLOGIES AS ALWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR HERE!!!! AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL!!!!
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I would feel bad for the mice that get caught in my traps if it were not for the fact that I have now killed 3 in the span of 2 hours to the same trap. I feel like if you keep sending members of your family out to forage for food and they keep going "ooo! Yummy peanut butter :)" to the same very obvious trap in the same location, at some point that's kind of on you.
So now my reaction to walking into the room and seeing the exact same trap with yet another mouse inside is "...idiot" instead of "poor thing".
#I say this but they figured out the basic snap trap so I had to buy the plastic kind with the easier to trip trigger#It's just that they got bold because they figured out how to lick the peanut butter without getting snapped#So now I have a bunch of traps that have a full trigger plate instead of a single trigger point#They step on the trap literally at all and it snaps#And the bait cup is deeper inside so they almost *have* to step on it to access it#Anyway I can't put out poison bc it's bad for the environment and also dangerous to the dogs#And I can't afford the electric traps#So snap traps it is#I was getting frustrated bc I kept finding evidence of mice but never actually catching them#And I remembered when I realized my rental house had mice these plastic ones were significantly more successful at catches#I actually really like mice and all rodents but wild ones spread disease and ruin food so I kind of have to#Especially if they start chewing on my wires
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you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off
that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it
#i've been saving so much for it that i paid off over like $2k in the last 2 or 3 months#it's just thinking about how the amount of interest goes off that drives me literally crazy#and my monthly amount i owe is like just under $120#which to some people as a regular bill is more manageable than others. but as i have an irregular income#as a substitute teacher it's something that gives me a LOT of stress.#which is another reason i've been overpaying. in case something happens/i can't get a lot of work#it defers the next due date.#that way it's not urgent but yet i still *feel* it all the time#debt is a crazy kind of thing#and to think that my loans are from COMMUNITY college. two years. publicly owned#when i start taking classes again soon. i currently have enough saved that if i take like ONE class#i can pay out of pocket. and i think im only gonna take one class to start anyway#which will also help with the deferred payments#see i just fucking hate having to think practically about money like this#tales from diana#idk how ppl leave high school and go straight to live in a dorm room at a private university for four straight years#and rack up tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.#first of all that lifestyle was not accessible for me to begin with. even when paying it was such an abstract put-it-off thought#as it is for so many 18-year-olds who are told not to worry about where they apply.#but i had under $12k to repay when the student loan debt was unfrozen last fall#and it's been weighing on me soooo heavily since then. i think about it every damn day#it's like the money i make isn't even mine. it goes straight to mohela and food#keep in mind i also live w my parents & am on their health insurance so someday there'll be moooore bills!!!!
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Work is an absolute joke today
#so many people have left and handed their notice in#tragic#ive been applyingg but nothing so far#8 rejections this morning insteaddd#but its okay we apply to more#its all a yikes#the 2 cases i do have#shouldnt have been sent to begin with because i cant approve them lmao#and then we lost access to one of the programs because no one paid the companys invoice in 6 MONTHS LIKE WHAT#so im literally at work#waiting to have something to do#i will eat food and be social shortly#i need to wake up because my brain is still on baldurs gate
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hate it when I say I'm allergic to a certain food and people go "so you've never had ___? I feel sooo sorry for you" thanks literally did not ask 👍
#people get. so weird about food. so weird.#i do understand where people are coming from when they say this i think??? but after hearing this my whole life.#it gets old guys. can we change the script.#i think this is a big reason why i almost never judge people's food choices. do you have access to good food? are you getting nutrients?#then i literally do not care if you have the blandest or weirdest preferences or that your presentation is shit or whatever. bon appetit#eat well please that's all i want for you. literally could not care less otherwise#now leave me alone too#storyrambles
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#poll: will you still love me if i make a patreon#look im gonna be real with you i spent a year saving up money for top surgery and this past month i had to pull out of it for rent#which is uhhhhh breaking my brain a little#i do want to keep these sketches free for all the reasons i always say#so im thinking early access#votes on which requests to do each day#votes on which high quality projects to tackle#access to uncensored animation and finalized comic pages#and possibly a zine that reguarly goes out with some sketches so you can physically own them#watcha think#bc im gonna be real i wanna run this blog for like the next 100 years but im in the red#several days this past month i have not had money for food literally genuinely#and im racking up credit card debt from my dogs paw stitches last month#um lmk what you think#would you be interested in special content for like a few dollars a month#check yes or no#Pete#Patrick#peterick#preh#preh Patrick#preh pete#art#that's why i haven't been posting as consistently btw ive been really conflicted#and trying to figure out how to keep things accessible and stay like alive#i live alone so the amt i have to make is kind of ridiculous im doing my best
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you know what actually it was very fucked up that even when i was in the ""healthy"" weight range i was still being pressured by my doctors to lose weight because my bmi was on the upper end of the range and not the lower end. like.
what the fuck was up with that.
#tw weight#tw body issues#it wasn't even like 'oh you're bordering on overweight let's work on that'#it was that i was slightly above the middle of the range#and they pressured me to ''''start thinking about my health''''#despite the fact that i was literally physically active and eating balanced meals#what the fuck#and it all just has me#very scared about today#because i'm still in the process of recovering from basically being trapped in a single room#chained to my desk due to school and work#with no access to a kitchen or a fridge#for roughly five years#i've started focusing on eating more fresh foods again#with plenty of fish and veggies#and i got myself an exercise bike so i could cycle at home#instead of relying on both my partner and i being available to hike or walk#but like#what if my doctor doesn't take that seriously#what if they just shame me for not already being fit#what if they act like i'm just making excuses and lying to them#u gh hghh it's so scary and i hate to do it but i have to go or else the horror is going to literally ruin my life#i hate fatphobia in the medical industry i hate fatphobia in the medical industry i hate fatphobia in the medical industry a a a a a
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What if they didn't put ads every 3 posts. Three posts between ads, literally. Not even counting the ad for Tumblr Live.
Also what if tumblr didn't know what city Im in. I do not want my location tracked or stored anywhere unless I give explicit ongoing permission, like with my GPS app that I allow to track me only when the app is open, and then it deletes the data (allegedly) when I stop giving permission.
#ugh i do SO much to try to keep my location private. i use an android with all the tracking things Off (except for my weather app#which is a highly specific app that does NOTHING except provide weather; and i have the location turned Off so it doesnt even know where i#live). my tumblr email is not connected to any real life stuff because i made it when i was very closeted and made a new email and password#for it and never linked them to anything else. i have bare minimum apps. i use firefox and duckduckgo.#for shits sake i use a small barely-known map app because any Map App that has had large success under capitalism is inevitably going to#start selling private info or working with a cheap security system designed to allow quiet data leaks.#i guess i use gmail and gphotos but my phone doesnt HAVE a native Photo App. i have to use one i download and im too damn skittish to try#i guess i did get netflix recently....sigh.... i figured they WERENT tracking me because they email me EVERY TIME I USE NETFLIX to alert me#that OHHHH A NEW DEVICE IS USING NETFLIX AAAAA WHAT IF ITS AGAINST NETFLIX POLICY OH NOOOO. so i figured they didnt have a way to ID me.#UGH. CAN I PLEASE EXIST WITHOUT BEING MONITORED FOR FIVE SECONDS. can i please access Social Media which is a shitty substitute for actual#human connection but its the best i have--without someone noting my location and then trying to sell me things??? can i please watch film???#i cant go to a theater because my region does NOT believe in covid and not even medical staff attending Very Ill Patients wear masks anymore#stupid fucking homophobic transphobic anti-vax society has made it too dangerous for me to access most Not-Online forms of enrichment. and i#cant even use the Internet (a magnificent ASTONISHING human creation) without being tracked and advertised to.#ugh..#humanity is just so cool and brave and kind and amazing and yet we have taxes and advertisment IDs and traffic and medicine shortages.#its not like the ads even work. even when it shows me stuff i DO want. i cant fucking afford things. i already have spent too much money on#things that i dont need like Good Food and Entertainment and Juice. ugh....okay i do need food and liquids....Good food even. my body cant#survive on College Foods like it could in the past. And i might literally die if i dont buy juice...#and i guess its really really really heartwarming to have good entertainment to take breaks from all the stress.... its not like i havent l#..... like im so frugal. thank god my partners encourage me to buy myself things. i have been so much healthier since giving in and buying#Non-Water drinks instead of just Chronically Drinking Less Than A Bottle Of Water A Day. my partners are so good and sweet 😓 i shouldnt be#upset with myself for letting them convince me to take care of myself. that isnt fair to them or me so i will stop doing that now.#my faith in humanity is mostly just knowing that my partners exist. theyre so sweet. if people like them exist--then i have faith in humanty#no pressure lol. they are both so good and perfect regardless of how much energy they have to spare for Being Good. they are just inherently#very dear and good to me and for me. but just because i have faith in humanity doesnt mean im gonna stop complaining the whole time!!!!!! i#will whine about the bad stuff forever!!!! and BITE IT if i ever get the chance. but i will complain until the bothersome things go away.#if i complain my whole life with no results then...! so be it. i will whine and it will be art somehow.#sorenhoots
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AMERICANS. @gayseball and @noahs-digital-shrine SPECIFICALLY. TOOK A FIELD TRIP INTO THE US TODAY (idk how much i'm allowed to say about that LMAO) AND WHAT ARE YOU BATHROOM STALLS. PLEASE. WHY CAN I EASILY FIT UNDER AND ALSO SEE ABOVE WITH JUST ENOUGH JUMPING. mndfbsmbfnakgrkjdhsfmn fucking terrifying
#it was not really into the us it was in their embassy but hOLY SHIT#it is LITERALLY like walking into another country#i cannot stress this enough#firstly all the security shit??? the us gov takes it way too seriously and because of what#9/11 and a couple immigrants??? like please#but SERIOUSLY it's INSANE in there#and joe biden + 7 million random strangers are just staring down at me from massive frames in every room????#i am walking around ON YOUR FLAGS?#literally i don't even know how to explain just how mind boggling the embassy is and it's literally like being teleported into the us for a#few hours#also you have secret food nobody else in the country has access to lmao#and the people???#the decor????#the signs?????#the fucking elevators and bathrooms and EVERYTHING is so foreign and absolutely bizarre#shocked#ok enough rambling the end#blue screams into the void
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man there is really no way out of poverty huh. like for real.
#no matter how much money i save up over years and years it literally won't ever be enough#i'm just never gonna get anything i want done like top surgery and i have to accept that. at the bare minimum it's gonna take over a decade#i have over 10 thousand dollars worth of dental work that needs to be done now#which would have been completely free if my parents just took me as a teen. free. but they didn't because they're abusive fuckwads#so now i gotta foot the bill. i'll never forgive them for a lot of things and that's one of the biggest things lol.#it's gonna cost several thousand dollars just to get me out of here back into a city too not even including finding a place and paying bond#everything i've saved up for literal years now is literally nothing compared to the bare minimum to potentially stop being fucking homeless#i've lost all the weight i gained from being able to feed myself bc i'm back with my parents with even less access to food than last time#so i'm just like... chronically malnourished and fainting all the time again. it really feels like the past few years were for nothing#i wish i had a bed. i haven't had a bed for well over a year now.#it's so fucking expensive to be homeless and for what. i was able to take a shower for the first time in two weeks today#taking a shower costs $30 for me. i'm so tired man.#delete later
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a local bar which i really love that does food i can actually eat recently shut its doors and i'm 😞 not only that but i fully made a booking there with a friend and we rocked up last night and the place was all shut up!!!!! it sucks for me bc it was one of the few local places i could eat at which means i now have to hike into town which takes three times as long if i wanna go out like. all this to say having mobility and food issues suck big time. that said i easily could have stress shopped about this online last night and i didn't everyone clapped!!!!!!!!!!!!
#we literally went to a local fast food adjacent joint and then on to an old man pub it was NOT the vibe besties#i was talking to my brother when i got in about other local places and they either 1. don't do food 2. aren't accessible or 3. both#and like i don't have to eat every time i go out but it takes so much to get me out the door in the first place that having somewhere to#go where someone else looks after the food of it all was soooo helpful#anyway he did make the point that they could open up a new place there that's just as good or even better so i'm 😓🤞#.txt
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not to be dramatic but i would give a witch my firstborn child to have a normal relationship with my body’s hunger cues and eating in general
#why is it so haaaard#i wanna eat. nothing sounds good. i don’t want to deal with the sensation of things in my mouth. i’m so hungry#i’ve been really struggling with like. i eat a meal and i’m still hungry. so i wanna eat more to not be hungry but i just did all that WORK#i think i am realizing i have taken a rather literal (autistic) approach to food prep#this is what a Meal looks like and when you eat it you are Not Hungry#and an appropriate amount of food for me is just more than that#which is ok! i’m not like upset that i need to eat more! i’m just fucking tired!#idk. i’ve been doing smoothies a lot and they help significantly but still not a Meal#ALSO THE BLENDER IS SO FUCKING LOUD. why is the most accessible food also the noisiest#orating!#ask to tag
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Damn, that survey about jam on toast really has me wishing we had bread (and butter) because I could DESTROY like half a loaf all by myself right now.
Which of my menagerie of maladies is to blame for me craving salt and fat above all else?
I don't fucking know.
Even day-old bread costs like $4 a loaf now. And butter, that shit's like, double digits for a pound.
I don't remember the last time I could eat enough to actually feel full.
I say, while just wanting fucking. Bread.
Hit me with the peasant scraps. I will take your stale heels and I will be delighted.
#personal#food mention#also hey hi my fatigue and despair at the world#are both so significant these days I can't muster any meaningful personal posts any more!#isn't that cool? isn't that great?#my knee will never finish healing and my busted metabolism remains untreated#because my doctor turned out to be pro plague#and I lost all access to prescription medications anyway#because my insurance implemented that fucking middleman program for it#and I'm too fucking busy trying to Remain Alive every day#that I can't even daydream about engaging Phone Anxiety Trauma Hell#which is the only way to set up that shit middleman prescription account!#also my phone just. doesn't make calls#it automatically hangs up the second I hit send on literally any number#except emergency 911 of course bc that's soooo helpful to me#also also the battery exploded. not literally but it. got fluffy#and I had to beg once again for a kind person with spendable money to help me out#it was less than ten dollars which isn't much right? RIGHT?#but I don't have ten spendable dollars so! I had to beg!#and I am very very very grateful someone took pity on me so my phone turns on again#but. it still. doesn't make calls. sigh
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:/
#tw disordered eating#personal#i have a consultation appt coming up soon with a bariatric weight loss program and i’m v nervy#i’ve always been fat and fairly unhealthy bc i didn’t have access to good food growing up (bc poor)#but i also struggle with self-control/impulse control because… obviously#so i binge a lot and then feel really bad afterwards (physically and mentally) but i struggle to tell myself no#so i go through periods where like one day i’ll eat absolutely nothing at all to punish myself & the next i’ll binge until i’m sick#but no psychiatrist has ever wanted to diagnose me with an eating disorder because… well… the psychiatrists in my area aren’t great…#and i’m fat…. so i don’t fit their idea of what someone with an eating disorder should look like#so i’ve never been able to get treatment for my disordered eating#so i’m excited about my consultation…#but i’m also nervous that i won’t be able to actually lose the weight#because most of my family has the same type of disordered eating#and they grew up poor so they don’t have the best idea of nutrition nor do they currently have the means to afford good food (still poor)#so regardless of what information i’m given#my family is likely going to continue to buy the same tempting unhealthy foods#and i just don’t trust myself :/#also i’m not sure if my insurance will cover my appointment if the clinic chooses to take me on as a patient#so i could literally just be told that yeah i’m overweight and i clearly need help but i can’t get help because insurance#which wouldn’t do anything for me except for make me feel 1000x worse about my current situation#but also i’m so tired of feeling/being this way#not necessarily being fat but being unhealthy and feeling like i don’t have control over my own impulses and actions…#like i don’t have the power to stop myself from binging#it’s just very frustrating and really taking a toll on me#sorry for the rant#but life is a lot for me right now#and i can’t talk to anyone in my family about this because they’ll think i’m a danger to myself#(aka going to off myself) & they’ll take me to the hospital & then i’ll have to go in inpatient again (i haven’t been inpatient since 14/15)#& i really just don’t want to deal with that because like… that’s not what’s happening here#tw mental instability
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