#but it’s like wooooooof ????!

[willowser]

i do often like to think about how late 20's bakugou would tell you he's a virgin i think about it a lot

[pisshandkerchief]

fucked up in the club thinking about hiatus pete wentz

[upthebrackets]

Uhhhh. Tips for someone going to London on their own who hasn’t been in years and is feeling just a little overwhelmed by how massive it is? 😭

[sassygwaine]

wild how mothers will twist the the most basic acts of care with guilt and suspicion and rewire your entire brain to distrust kindness as condescension

[curiosityjams]

i say this a lot about so many things that happen on beyonce's internet, but no situation has made me want to throw every piece i own that has any sort of internet access into a lake more than the entire saga btwn hybe/ador/belift/whatever the fuck at this point there are so many ppl to keep track of.

[lad-boyo]

.

[rodolfoparras]

been thinking about your top free use reader, but they have phallo with an ED implant so they can be kept hard long after they would've been too overstimulated to keep going. The boys teasing that they have to keep going because reader's clearly not satisfied yet, when they all know damn well why he isn't soft. Not letting him be finished until they're all satisfied ghfngjfnghfnfhng

Sugar bee I’m kicking my legs and twirling my hair because the world just isn’t ready for an absolute pathetic excuse of a free use reader BUT I NEED IT

Need ghost or price to bend you like a pretzel just so they can freely bounce on your cock need gaz and soap to argue about who gets to fuck you soap erratically bouncing on your cock and gaz sinking down on it when it accidentally slips out of soap WOOOOOOOF WOOOOOF WOOOOF soap or ghost HUMILATING you for still being so hard calling you insatiable while taking turns on your cock NO ONE GETS IT NO ONE IM STUVK IN A PLACE FULL OF DOM TOPS

[trashlie]

ILY FP 210, 211, 212

WOOOOOOOF I’ve been holding off on writing this post, because I wanted to wait for this whole “episode” to fully come out. Quimchee revealed they were all meant to happen in one episode, but SO MUCH was happening in the episode that it was too long to do as the one. I... kind of wish I hadn’t waited because now there is SO MUCH for me to cover, so I’m going to do my best to keep this organized and coherent.

No lie, these go up there in my top episodes, especially 212. I have a feeling I might have some different feelings than others on this one...? We’ll see, I’m keen to hear how all of you are thinking and feeling about it. To me, these episodes really encapsulate a good 80% of the plot that we’ve been dealing with, and there’s some good reveals in here that have been a LONG time coming. I think everything is set up now for the time skip to come, and especially after all the events that transpired this arc (remember how this all started out so many moons ago with Nol going to the company Christmas party? That feels like it was years ago to what is happening now!) I am BEYOND excited to see what the time skips have in store for us! 

Anyway, before I start spoiling things, let’s get into it!

Well and truly, I love this arc! It’s really capture so much of the story this bigger story has centered on - the relationship between Nol and Kousuke. This isn’t the root of the story, of course, but it’s a significant portion of what we’ve come to read for, I think, and I cannot tell you how much I love seeing the characters verbally acknowledge things they’ve swept under a rug. 

212 felt especially raw to me - Kousuke’s confessions are tragic in the way of too little too late, and the realization that Nol was never against him, that he was always on the same side, that they could have been an incredible team may come to haunt him. That acknowledgement of his that nobody really liked him - no one else but the one person he had demeaned and devalued until he was truly nobody - really hit me like a sucker punch. I truly thought these were truths Kousuke wouldn’t be able to reach until he lost more, like his job or his sense of self, but I guess we can argue that he’s lost a lot of his sense of self; from the moment he punched Nol, it’s clear that he’s dissociating. That also serves to tell us how important this moment is for Kousuke, what it means to him, what Nol means to him.

Now, I’ll be upright honest with you guys, because I think this is where the difference of opinions will come in. I really enjoy stories with this kind of element of hatred and care so intricately interlaced in family or friends. There’s something about this sense of care being overwritten by jealousy so scathing it mutates into resentment and hatred and loathing. The way these two feelings battle out, the way ugly emotions are so strong they come to eclipse any hope for warmth. Idk it’s intriguing to me, it creates a compelling story. 

And in Kousuke’s case, it is! A running theory has been that Kousuke treats Shinae the way he does because he is, subconsciously, treating her how he wishes he’d treated Nol. As the story went on and Kousuke’s ugliness started to come out more and more and his paranoia began to consume him, I think it was probably difficult for many to find credence in this theory - that there was no way Kousuke could have cared about Nol and transferred it to Shinae when he treated Nol how he did but I’m still here for the theory. It’s just that Kousuke’s ugliness was so strong, overwhelming, it eclipsed anything else. 

Now I’m not saying I think Kousuke loves Nol or thinks of him as a brother, but rather I think deep down, he understood they were connected. As a child, Nol was the only person who didn’t treat Kousuke like an object - like a puppet or rich vending machine or influence to be gained. But how could Kousuke allow himself to think so favorably of Nol when he was so deeply rooted in jealousy? 

This is what I find especially intriguing about their dynamic. Something I talk about a lot is that Nol and Kousuke are both the products of abuse - Kousuke is the way he is due to neglect and manipulation, and in turn he took that out on Nol. I’ve seen people say Kousuke doesn’t make sense to them, but he DOES and this episode really drove that home and confirmed a lot of things I’d felt. 

Kousuke’s treatment of Nol all stems from Rand and his affair. Let’s look at it from Kousuke’s perspective. He has a father who is never around, and when he is he’s busy and always puts his career first. He rarely joins them for family time, there’s a rift between him and his wife. All young Kousuke wants is for his father to spend time with him, to be around, to notice him. His mother tells him things - if he’s a good boy Father will pay attention; if he wants his father’s attention he needs to be just like him; if he wants Father to care to notice he must be exactly like him. But his mother also says other thing - that there’s someone else, money is being wired to someone. At school people murmur similar things. 

All he wants is his father’s approval, his father’s pride, his father’s attention, his father’s time. He must not be good enough, yet. He must not matter, yet. He’ll make sure he does, though. He’ll do exactly what his mother says, he’ll buckle down just like she tells him, he’ll make sure to become the perfect son that his father can be proud of. 

So you can understand, then, why the discovery that the murmurs are true, that there’s another family, would shatter him the way it did, why it remains a point of breaking for him even as an adult, why he never really reconciles his father’s affair. How is it that the man who has no time for him or their family, had enough time to create a second family? Why was he so undeserving of his time? Why was he so undeserving of his attention? 

And it rooted deep inside him, right in the core of his foundation. This other boy who describes his father as someone who couldn’t possibly be the same man as his father - a funny man, a kind man. That is not the father Kousuke knows, so why does this other child know him? (Never mind that this child has also never met that version of his father.) It all stems from that: a craving for something he’s never received. 

Kousuke’s whole speech about how there was only one kind, sweet, generous, funny person in his life was the very person he attacked and tore down hit me HARD. His admission of fear, that he ACTUALLY ADMITTED TO BEING SCARED, that he’ll never be good enough for Rand, that nothing he would ever do would make him worthy of his attention actually hurt. This is the kind of thing I’ve been wanting Kousuke to acknowledge and embrace, because it’s the one thing that has been fueling and propelling him. He doesn’t do this job because he’s passionate about it - he does it because he’s still vying for love and attention. He didn’t forsake his childhood because he was above it - he literally sacrificed it for his father. Regardless of what you think about Kousuke now, it has to be acknowledged that he, too, has suffered. And let’s not pretend that Yui truly believed that Kousuke could win Rand’s affection this way - it still feels like it was a game for her, a manipulation to turn him into someone she could use to get her way, a puppet if you will. It’s fucking sad to think that he gave up everything because he was so determined to earn his father’s love, that his love and attention was believed to be so conditional he had to make himself worthy of it. 

“I hate you for making me aware this person exists. And I hate your face being a constant reminder of it.” 

So many times, Kousuke has berated Nol for his playful, joking behavior, for seeming so lax and carefree. I’d always thought it was jealousy that he didn’t have that kind of life, that he wasn’t allowed it - and that probably is still a part of it - but now we know that when Yeonggi laughed and played around, he was a vision of a version of Rand Kousuke had never known, a spitting image of a man Kousuke didn’t even know could exist. 

And as Nol points out, it was all for naught. All of Kousuke’s jealousy and his fear, tearing down Nol so that he could instead get to know that version of Rand. All of it was for naught, because who knows if that man even exists? It seems like only one person ever knew her, and who’s to know if she didn’t make him up. Kousuke has spent his entire life - sacrificed his childhood, accelerated himself through school, forsook any fun or leisure - on a quest for a man who probably doesn’t exist, for something he’ll never achieve. He spent his whole life tearing down someone innocent trying to get to something he’ll never have. 

I really thought it would take for Kousuke to lose it all, to stumble in his career before he’d realize it, but here he is. 

But on the other side of that, we have Nol. Nol, who also lost - and lost more than Kousuke did. Nol who was isolated and alienated, Nol who tried time and time again to reach out and create a connection, and was refused every time. Nol who suffered under Kousuke and Yui’s watch over and over. Nol, who despite it all, still tried to treat Kousuke well, still tried to give him a chance, still tried to reach out to him at his most desperate. 

I think that really illustrates something important: an understanding that there is a reason for Kousuke’s behavior and his paranoia, where it comes from, but that reason doesn’t justify. I can acknowledge both that Kousuke absolutely is the product of his environment and that he has been an asshole about it lol. Idk I can admit that my intrigue in his has grown a LOT. 

These episodes have just tapped into something so deep that I love about this series - that our experiences heavily color our interpersonal relationships, as well as our relationships with our own selves. Nol notes that he, too, suffered, he, too, lost, he has been alone and alienated and despite it all he still tried, and he still attempted to be a good person, in contrast to Kousuke who let his suffering turn him into an asshole. It was kind of a hard-to-read moment, because Nol spoke the truth, and as much as I feel for Kousuke, Nol is right. Because he never attempted to deal with those ugly feelings, because he never chose to face them, because he instead wore them as armor, it became his identity, he became an asshole through those experiences. Had there ever been a moment that he could have met Nol in the middle, that he could have put aside his jealousy, that he could have turned off his Rand blinders, he could have seen what Nol was able to see earlier and more clearly. And isn’t that sad? They could have been a great team, they could have had each others’ back in a world where no one else did, they could have been there for each other, but Kousuke couldn’t cross that line. 

Again, I fully acknowledge that Kousuke is the way he is because of those experiences. I acknowledge that this is the wake up call he needed, that he was forced to finally reckon with the truth. 

But I also worry what will come of Kousuke as a result of Rand’s arrival. Is he going to backpedal? Is this going to short-circuit something and push him to double down, or is it going to free him? 

Kousuke has spent his entire life trying to earn Rand’s favor, to earn his attention. Everything he has done has been an angle to get closer to his father. Like, when you break it all down, that’s the sad, basic truth. He was a child who so desperately wanted his father’s attention that his life became about that. And here comes Rand, showing up when it looks like Kousuke is running away. Rand who never had time for him, Rand who didn’t shower him with warmth and affection. 

Rand who showed up and wailed “My son” in response to Nol. 

That whole scene honestly hurts me. Nol is hurt, Rand is anguished and horrified, and Kousuke? Kousuke finally witnessing his father show a fatherly side - and it wasn’t for him. And not only that but Rand might not even believe that Kousuke was trying to get help, that he attempted to get Nol up but couldn’t. And does it even matter when the truth is that Kousuke DID cause this? I can’t imagine it was his intention - I don’t think his mind went “punch Nol and he’ll fall over the railing” as much as Nol tried to leave and Kousuke reacted on that. But the point still stands: even if it wasn’t his intention, this is still ultimately his fault. Nol goaded him on and played a part, but Kousuke was the hand that acted. 

I fear that this will ruin what little relationship Kousuke has with Rand - and it’s a fear because it means Kousuke could swing in two wholly opposite directions. Does he double-down and return to the side of his mother, the only family member who has made him feel like someone’s child? I don’t think he’s at the point where he can extricate himself from the family, as good as it would be. And I worry that if that’s the case, will he double back down on his treatment and resentment of Nol? For this one moment, he saw that they were equals, that they both had a broken, shitty relationship with Rand. And then Rand showed up, showing that paternal side Kousuke has longed for. 

As much as I WANT Kousuke to hold on to that moment, I don’t know that he can. I think the cracks have formed and I think his fragile reality is crumbling faster, but I fear he’ll retreat back into the “comfort” of the world he knows. 

Here’s the thing about Kousuke: on some level he knows. He knows that Yui isn’t great, he knows that she has done awful things, he knows that Nol did no wrong, he knows that Rand will probably never change. But these are such uncomfortable truths and he has spent his life propped up by a false reality. This was pointed out by AugmentedElle on reddit, but look at the difference in Kousuke’s flashbacks. Look at the memory in 210 vs 212. The flashback in 210 is the strongest, most vibrant memory we’ve yet seen. Ordinarily they’re in some kind of grey scale, or at least muted colors, sometimes with spot color like in Shinae’s. In Nol and Kousuke’s flashbacks thus far, we’ve seen those muted colors or alterations - Nessa’s face appearing scribbled out in Kousuke’s memories, just as in 212. The use of color suggests that the memory in 210 is, quite possibly, fabricated. It starts out with Kousuke dazed, unable to remember what just happened, and Yui comes in and tells him he won’t have to see that boy for a long time. It feels like something happened - that perhaps Kousuke did something (the huffing that parallels his huffing after he punches Nol in the current story) and blocked it out or whited out and Yui came in and gave him an iteration of the story. It’s the strongest memory because it didn’t come from him - because it was filled in and colored in by someone else. The whole time we’ve thought Nol had perhaps been pushed to the bring, that Kousuke instigated a fight and Nol snapped, but maybe it was never Nol. Maybe the whole time Kousuke has associated Nol with danger and violence - because he was wired to think that way. That whatever happened and lead to that moment was so traumatic he doesn’t have the real memory, and instead carries a fabrication. 

And that is essentially the basis of Kousuke’s entire life. Regardless of intent, Yui does manipulate Kousuke. She says things knowing full-well the effect they’ll have. Consider that moment with Nol and Nessa vs Yui in Kousuke’s flashback in 212. He watches Nessa blow raspberries on Nol’s cheek, a warm and silly exchange full of so much love and care - and then he looks up at Yui, who wears her maternal mask, shadows falling eerie over her face. Doesn’t it feel so much like she set this up? Doesn’t it feel like she knew Nessa and Nol would be around? She fills his head with things like “the only way to get your father’s attention is to be just like him” and “we’re not like other families we’re so special” and “isn’t it just so wonderful that rand at least has enough time to eat with us”? That’s not vouching for Rand - that’s passive aggression towards Rand and creating an idea of who Rand is - that Rand unwittingly lives up to. Despite speaking of the affair in front Kousuke, she turns and tells him that “Your father values us too much, he would never do such a thing” - a blatant lie that only plays into that feeling Kousuke wears that he’s been cheated, that there exists a version of his father that has been denied to him. Nessa tells Nol that Rand was a kind, sweet, generous, funny man. Yui tells Kousuke that Rand is anything but funny and he has no time for jokes. Maybe both are true, but Nol’s unintentionally makes a point about how Yui speaks of Kousuke’s father, vs how Yui spoke of Nol’s father. Why would a parent speak ill of the other parent -- if not to make the child see them that way. 

(She also tells him there’s nothing she hates more than people who don’t take things seriously, and well, look at how Kousuke came out.) 

There’s a fragile cognitive dissonance between what Kousuke knows to be true - that is, the reality that has been shaped by his experiences and Yui’s manipulation - vs actual reality, and we’ve seen this a number of times when various events threaten that tentative balance. Kousuke at the club, angry and paranoid, is aware of what people really think of him. Deep down he knows people don’t see him as great, as an honorable gentleman. Deep down he knows he’s a selfish, judgmental asshole, but it doesn’t fit the fabricated reality he believes in, so it only comes out in his paranoia. He knows that Nol is like him, that he didn’t have the love Kousuke coveted, that he tried to get by quietly, but Kousuke’s fear and paranoia still thought of him as the boy who had earned the love that Kousuke couldn’t, and that made him a threat. He knows what kind of person Yui is and has tried to draw boundaries, but he’s still told her things about Nol that she could act on, because he knows what she is capable of. When people or events fracture that reality, he struggles and lashes out, because he needs that reality to keep it together, but it’s crumbling fast. 

Between the phone call with Rand and the moment that Rand shows up on the scene - what is the state of Kousuke’s reality? Is it crumbling? Is he trying to stuff the crumbling rocks back into the foundation? Will he retreat to his mother, the only one who can keep the tint of his rose colored glasses or will he be forced to face reality for what it really is? I wish it would be the latter, but I just don’t know if he’s ready for it yet. I don’t know if he can face that which he’s run from this whole time just yet. 

As for Nol, woooooooof. What a fucking NIGHT. To think - THIS IS HIS GODDAMN BIRTHDAY. On the one hand, I think, maybe this can give him some kind of peace. He’s finally gotten a piece of Kousuke’s mind, he finally knows how Kousuke sees him, what he thinks of him, and what motivated him all these years. Maybe with this knowledge, Nol will be able to walk away in peace. He doesn’t have to wonder anymore. He knows where he stands - and where he’s always stood - and I think he’s made it clear that he’s drawn his line. He is done, he is finished, with all of them. If Kousuke can find his way to the other side of the line, then good for him, but Nol has no intention of trying to bring him over anymore. 

I do think there’s a lot of room for them to reconcile in the future - when Nol’s raw anger has maybe ebbed, when Kousuke has found himself and learned to stand on his own ground, rather than prop himself up by his fabricated reality. But they are far from there. I’ve said before that I had a feeling maybe we’ll see the three main characters reunite in the time skip as adults after having gone separate ways, and that feeling still lingers. Nol has made it clear that he still wants to get away - and frankly I think he needs to. I wish he’d say so much to his friends, I wish he’d tell them where they stand. I feel so bad for Shinae, who went through so much grief and angst and really put herself out there to bring him back, to get her closure - and then when she had it and was ready to let him go, he insisted on staying. For him to turn around and leave like that again, after everything she told him, after the ways she opened up to herself, god that must hurt a lot. I guess on the one hand, she got the closure she wanted but.... it wasn’t even that long ago that Nol was making jabs at Kousuke for abandoning his friends, and there he goes doing it a SECOND time. 

There’s a piece I’d love to give more time and thought to - that maybe all along, on a deep, subconscious level, Kousuke feared Nol leaving and that’s why he’s always acted when Nol was on the leave. If Nol leaves he’ll be truly alone. If Nol goes, there is truly no one left who ever liked him, who ever saw any value in him. This post is already long enough, so I’ll try to spit that out later this week, if I can. I think it’s not a coincidence that Kousuke punched Nol as he was leaving, that he didn’t bring himself to do it when Nol promised he’d leave, just as he let Yui know Nol was planning to leave. Maybe he doesn’t recognize it yet, but I think Kousuke is terrified of being left alone and Nol escaping without him. 

Like I said, more on that later, but it’s an important point that I think ties in really well with this relationship Kousuke has towards Nol. It’s complicated, fucked up, toxic, and messy, and it needs a LOT of untangling by professional help. But I do think these last episodes really set something up for Nol and Kousuke’s future - as much as there is so much resentment and anger between them, there’s a mutual sense of longing, of needing each other to fill a void: for Nol, he sought out a brother in Kousuke, a companion against the adults in their lives; for Kousuke, that knowledge that Nol, too, had suffered that neglect, and was the only person who had ever truly liked him. I think one day when that anger has died, when they’ve made peace and hopefully worked on themselves, when Kousuke has freed himself, I think there’s a chance they will be able to reconcile. Like I said, maybe they’ll never be family to each other; there’s so much damage there, it’s really possible that can never be undone. But I think at some point, at least, they will see themselves on the same side, rather than each other. 

[wednesdaythesecond]

no because you're so real on the travie killjoy thing. i had an au once where i put a bunch of dcd people in the killjoy universe but it wasn't very good. i did make travies killjoy name Kid Nothing Boy because i like that song a lot and it sounds like an alter ego name of some form.

i should revive that au just so i can design travies outfit again. the first one was not very good

also studying you in a lab on a scale of 1-10 id say six maybe. if you were a rat in that one experiment would you let the scientists get you addicted to gambling

KID NOTHING BOY VS. THE ECHO FACTOR MENTION!!!!!! I'm listening to that song rn and wooooooof Travie!!!! Travie!!!!! The bars?? His flow??? The beat???? The everything????? Man i could talk about Travie and GCH forever and ever (and i will but not here). You were real as fuck for choosing that as his killjoy name, that fucks.

i should fuck around with the Travie i made in Sims 4 (which is up on the gallery if anyone wants to see it, i'm one of 3 bitches in the #rpf tag) and see if i can't make a killjoy look for him. i was also toying with thoughts about Travie inside Battery City, y'know? Simple Living kind of vibes, y'know? it's shit and it sucks but there's stability and sterelax and he's def not going back to re-education <3

also no, if i was a rat, i would not get addicted to gambling. i'd be one of those rats that the scientists taught to drive but i'd also have cocaine put in my water to see if rats like DUIs too. spoiler alert, i would get so many rat DUIs.

[schoenht]

Pspspspsps

Would you tell us about the big fight in your grad ceremony? 👀 dead curious ngl

cracks knuckles I'll tell you everything that happened there bc that was not the only bullshit that happened

It was like. The first ten minutes or so, right and we had all just gotten in our separate lines when the entire ceremony stops bc THERE'S A FIGHT ON STAGE RIGHT hang on thats. House left. Yeah i think so. IN THE DAMN FRONT ROWS. it was a pair of freshmen too which made me go "ugh freshmen" even more (i was like that even as a freshman) and i think its bc one of the girls saw the other girl with THE GUY S H E LIKED SO SHE DECIDED TO DRAG THE OTHER GIRL. Mind you, the graduation is at an arena where concerts are done so the graduates can see everything and i was in the back so i saw EVERYTHING.

And then the valedictorian. Oooooof. Self hating latino if I've ever seen one. The way he ranted and raved abt how "the school system is failing us" and "we cant do basic arithmetic" and "minorities shouldn't get more privilege" like. THIS DUDE WAS THE BIGGEST TEACHER'S PET. i had him for my honors econ class and he was like "i dont need to be here, im better than everyone in class" and i distinctly remember i said "then why haven't you fucking graduated before us yet dumbass" (the teacher scolded me a bit) i was just mad (it doesn't help that he's my friend's ex too. and he's dating the girl who is my enemy)

BASIC ARITHMETIC. THAT GOT ME CACKLING BC THIS GUY THOUGHT WE NEEDED IT SO BAD i can add but i dont need more than that in my damn job. "minorities shouldn't get privilege !!" yeah he almost got beat up at school the next day AND HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO APOLOGIZE TO THE ADMINISTRATORS (i heard him) (oh and the principal actually didnt allow him to continue with the speech during rehearsal, but i wasnt there bc i was doing tech >:3)

Uhhh what else. Oh yeah some guy proposed to his gf behind me (not like. Standing and with a ring it was quiet and they were in the row behind me) and she said no WKFKWKKG I DONT BLAME HER WE'RE AT A FUCKING GRADUATION HELLO ???

my old high school, wooooooof. I have so many stories. Like that one week that there were at least five fights a day!!! (Not even exaggerating.)

[waltwhitmansbeard]

hiiiii, i'm fairly new to CR (it saved my life during the pandemic!!1) and i'm pretty much caught up with everything but my love for vaxleth is off the charts and it's both a blessing and a curse: i love everything about them but there's fewer fics about them than i thought they ought to have. i have gone through ao3 these past few months and read a lot and also saved some for later (including yours!! i want to save it for a cozy day where i need a pick me up). having said all of that i was wondering if you have any recs (preferably of the longer type but ok if not) not just in ao3 but anywhere else as well? and preferably happy endings and some smooching n stuff bc wooooooof. these two got so much angst (i do also love it tho). any smut rec is welcome as well!! AND!!! ALSO!! do you think there's any chance this last ep can reignite the flame so to speak so we can all get more and more fics bc honestly?? i'm obssessed and they deserve it. epic love needs eternal retelling.

well hello! first i wanna say welcome to the fandom, we're all pretty nice but completely feral so watch where you put your hands bc we like to gnaw on things. (i say this like i am not also very new to the fandom; i just looked it up earlier today and my 1-year anniversary is at the end of may.)

when it comes to fic recs, i actually have to admit that i don't read a ton of fics myself (i don't have time, lol). i'll start by saying reading @romeoandjulietyouwish's au posts and drabbles is what got me back into writing fanfiction for the first time since i was a teenager, so i definitely recommend checking her stuff out. @blorbologist is, in my humble opinion, the foremost perc'ahlia expert of the fandom, if that ship also floats your boat. i have started reading her extremely famous one for joy but as i said, i really do not have a lot of time to read these days so i am extremely behind. my friend @ravendruid has recently started dipping her toes into the fic-writing realm, and i've been really loving watching her style develop as she goes, and my irl best friend and platonic life partner @runforyourshield is writing a vaxleth summer camp au called camp cloudtop you should check out! other recs you can find on my blog under the tag #fic rec. also just generally we tend to rb each other a lot so just stalk all of those blogs and you'll find some good stuff.

on ao3, i actually just today read a little three-part vaxleth happy ending style fic called with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair that i really enjoyed, and i've started reading this incredible fic called Heaven Couldn't Shake that AGAIN i started reading and then stopped having time for (!!!!!!!!!!!! i am busy!!!!!!! i am sorry!!!!!) but it is really good and i highly recommend the one chapter that i have read lol.

as for smut, to be perfectly honest, there is a dearth of smut in the vaxleth fandom, and like, i get it, it is extremely common to headcanon keyleth as ace or demisexual, and i don't have a problem with that headcanon at all. but me personally, while i also hc her as demi, i absolutely believe she and vax have fucking incredible sex and i wish i could read more of it (*eyebrow waggle* keep your eyes on the mfl space for future one-shots, jussayin). my recommendation there is to go the keyleth/vax tag on ao3 and filter by E, tbh. (also, don't sleep on vaxlethmore, bc those fics are *chef's kiss*)

(also this isn't vaxleth and idk if you've seen c2 or not but truly one of the hottest fucking fics i have read in my life—and friendo i have read a lot—is this shadowgast fic that truly gave me a nicotine addiction, bc wow)

will c3e51 reignite the fandom's fire for vaxleth? i mean, i can hope so, tho tbh, i'm keeping my hopes low. i know that, generally speaking, more people care for perc'ahlia than vaxleth (which was truly the wildest thing for me to find out when i started interacting w the fandom at large, i assumed everyone would be as fucking feral for vaxleth as i was), so i don't imagine there's gonna be a ton of new people writing them, but hey, maybe the episode will spur some people who haven't watched c1 to go watch, and they'll be the new generation of vaxleth shippers (again, me talking like i'm not the new generation of vaxleth shippers).

i hope i answered all of your questions, and thanks for being part of this community! i hope you find what you're looking for.

[footballshowrot]

season 3 ted lasso, just pissing some thoughts after watching the finale. talkin about things they fumbled unbelievably hardcore this season jsyk.

- the unrelenting force of forgiveness and tying everything up with a pretty bow extending to both the sam's restaurant being destroyed storyline and the james tarttt sr storyline. just wooooooof... Terrible. sam and jamie i'm literally gonna get u out of there.......

- keeley's plot this season was So disappointing. she used to be a driving force and here she felt like an afterthought, and i don't know if it was because KJPR was separate from the club, but she was just so disconnected. they dropped shandy, they dropped jack, hard. thank god for barbara because i liked a lot of her and keeley's scenes [snow globe :)]. and then in the finale relegated keeley to role of object of affection for jamie and roy to fight over👍awesome😐 love triangle plotlines suck ass majority of the time, and maybe jamie and roy in the finale could have been played funny for me [sorry to royjamie brain it for a sec, but they alone still are. intricate rituals and all that. that ripped shirt, bloody nose combo etc etc lmaoooo] but because the show has continually fucked keeley over this season it leaves a bit of a bitter taste. her kicking them out her house like yesssss literally. get their asses outta here. idk, romantic relationships aside, it just felt shit that for keeley's last episode she didn't even get to reap any positives of the platonic relationships she has with roy or jamie. [at least we have rebecca. society if keeley kissed rebecca in the finale] lol not really but u knooow. just after the shoddy love bombing plotline with jack, and the way her relationship with jack concluded and this in the finale, i hope she stays single for a while, and i think the show settled on that at least which okay.👍 she's literally keeley fuckin jones waaaaoough....

- the fucking locker room information PSA's........ maaaan i Know the show is cheesy feelgood tv but season 1 was not just morality lesson central with characters talking like npcs delivering do good greeting card messages one after another.

- ted's marriage plotline was dogshit 👍 just yaaaaaaawns all round idk. rewatching scenes from season 1 and bein like? this dude used to make me chuckle! what happened..... thank god they didn't fumble the bag on sending him back to kansas to be with henry. [henry having the same strip number as jamie was a nice touch]. i just wonder that if this season had some more jamie ted scenes [that weren't him telling jamie to forgive his father 😐] that it might have strengthened that ache to get back to his son even more, as opposed to reopening a perfectly concluded plotline with michelle because oh no....she's... dating?

- naaaaaaaate. my guy nate waaaaaaahh. they sidelined you so fucking hard. did not know what to make of nate's plot this season with jade. i think they had sweet scenes together but concerning the actual footie of the show [the football show in question] they made nate a fucking afterthought too. some episodes it was like and uhhhh... yeah... quickly !! show the west ham building and get a reaction shot from nate!! we forgot we set him up at the end of season 2 as an antagonistic force for richmond to go against. like come onnn man. think that international break was nate's strongest episode outta the whole season, what with his depression slump, attic rummaging, family photo album reminiscing, violin playing, father reconciliation, will apology with lavender, just a really solid nate episode all round. its just sad it came so late in the season.

yeah that's the main thoughts spinning right now i guess lol. BOSH.

[dingusships]

Just looked at my actual desktop blog theme for the first time in like 3 years and wooooooof

[pa-anonoverflow]

Wooooooof. That’s rough! You think it’s like imposter syndrome or an insecure demeanor?

Diff anon but I thought that too. Like he was in a room of his real peers and didn’t look comfortable at all. Very unlike how he acted at the movie premieres so confident and friendly.

I get what you’re saying but he’s already won a Grammy. If that were the case why didn’t he act that way the very first time he went? He’s also been to the Brits multiple times and he’s met all of these people before. Bad bunny went to his show. Adele and Lizzo are his friends. I just don’t think that really tracks or he would have acted that way the first time too. Now the first time he seemed nervous at the Grammys in 2021.

[mayor-david-prentiss]

feeling horribly normal about getting this today

[coldmorte]

"Can I give you a ride?"

DKSJAGKLDSAGHKSADJFA

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS DID TO ME? HOLY HELL.

I WAS WORKING ON HOMEWORK WHEN THIS MESSAGE POPPED UP, AND I MADE THE MISTAKE OF OPENING IT.... 

MAJOR WOOF.

I LITERALLY HAD TO TAKE A THREE MILE WALK AROUND MY NEIGHBORHOOD TO CALM THE TF DOWN. I AM NOT KIDDING.

THIS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ATTEMPTED MURDER.