#but it’s different to feel like everyone you love has an expiration date

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

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[covid-safer-hotties]

"You Have to Live Your Life:" Responses to Common COVID Minimizing Phrases - Published Aug 6, 2024

If you're still COVIDing, you've likely heard phrases, like "it's mild now," or "you have to live your life," repeated over and over. You might be wondering, "what do I even say here? How do I respond to this?" I've listed some of the most common minimizing phrases and some potential responses to them. Feel free to adapt these and make them your own. I've included a variety of responses with different tones, depending on how much you want to be #saltingthevibes.

I want to recognize you might not always have the time or emotional energy to get into these discussions. Some people unfortunately aren't engaging in good faith, so it's important to be able to discern for yourself when you want to have these conversations. You don't always have to educate people, it can be exhausting! For those times when you want to respond but are at a loss for words in the moment, here are some ideas to get you started.

Starting off with one of my (least) favorites:

"You have to live your life!"

"I am living my life. Wearing a mask doesn't stop me from living my life, it makes it possible for me to do the things I love more safely."

"I'd love to be able to get out and do more things, but unfortunately that's not safe for me because so few people are masking."

"I would be a lot harder to live my life if COVID disabled me."

"Living my life means protecting my health, in the short and long term."

"I've adapted how I live my life based on the research about all of the long term health effects of a COVID infection."

"How long are you going to keep doing this for?"

"I'll probably always wear a mask in public spaces, when you know better you do better!"

"There's no expiration date on keeping myself safe and protecting my health."

"When we've widely implemented clean air standards and there's a sterilizing vaccine for COVID, then I might update my current precautions."

"I really wish I didn't have to do this either! But given what I know about COVID and Long COVID, this is the best choice for me."

"How long are you going to keep doing this for? It seems like you're sick all the time now, it sounds really unpleasant."

"We have to live with COVID."

"I'm glad you agree the government has done a terrible job trying to mitigate the spread!"

"To me, living with COVID means doing what we can to protect ourselves, not just giving up entirely."

"We also have to live with car accidents, that's why I wear my seatbelt to protect myself."

"What if we didn't have to? What if we collectively did more to clean the air and create safer living conditions for all of us?"

"Unfortunately you're right, that's why I'll continue to mask to keep myself and my community safer."

"It's mild now/it's just a cold/flu."

"Many illnesses seem like 'just a cold/flu' when you're first infected, but can still have long term health consequences, like mono or HIV."

"You can develop Long COVID even if your initial symptoms are mild or asymptomatic."

"I'm not as worried about the initial symptoms of the acute infection, I'm more concerned about the significant risk of Long COVID."

"You're lucky your symptoms weren't very severe initially. For me, COVID was a lot worse than a cold."

"I don't want to get sick with a cold either."

"I got it X times and I'm fine!"

"I'm sorry to hear you've had so many infections. COVID can cause silent damage throughout our bodies, it might be a good idea to go in for a check up with your doctor."

"I'm glad you're feeling fine so far, but my experience has been different."

"Your risk of Long COVID increases with each infection, so I'm doing what I can to avoid getting it."

"I hear that in your experience, a COVID infection hasn't been a big deal. Unfortunately not everyone is so lucky and many are dealing with significant Long COVID symptoms."

"You're young and healthy, you'll be fine/ only the vulnerable need to worry."

"I used to think the same thing! It turns out I have some underlying risk factors that mean an infection could be very harmful to me."

"Everyone is at risk of Long COVID, and your risk increases with each infection."

"You cannot know someone's health status by looking at them. A lot of young people are high risk as well."

"I don't appreciate you making assumptions about my health status."

"Did you know more than 75% of Americans have at least one risk factor? More than 40% have two or more, and almost 20% have three or more! Being high risk is more common than you think."

"There are actually a lot of factors that can make someone high risk, like a history of smoking, depression, asthma, ADHD, and more!"

"Kids don't get COVID/it's mild for kids."

"Unfortunately many studies show that rates of Long COVID in kids is similar to the rates in adults."

"COVID is the 8th leading cause of death in children in the US."

"Kids can be high risk for COVID, like if they have asthma, ADHD, autism, diabetes, or other common health issues."

"Kids don't deserve to be repeatedly infected with an illness that we know causes long term damage."

"I'd encourage you to read some of the stories about kids with Long COVID, it's heartbreaking for them and their families."

"Long COVID is rare."

"I'm curious where you learned that, because that doesn't fit into my understanding of Long COVID."

"Studies show rates around 20% of adults infected will go on to develop Long COVID, and many studies show higher rates. Your risk increases with each infection."

"Even if you're right, I'm not willing to risk it."

"Have you noticed an increase in weird symptoms or health issues in your circle? Fatigue, headaches, GI issues, stroke, heart attack, blood clots and a ton of other issues can all be caused by a COVID infection."

"It's more common than you might think, there are over 200+ possible symptoms and it can look different in everyone."

"My doctor doesn't wear a mask."

"Yikes! How unfortunate your doctor isn't up to date on the science and isn't doing more to protect their patients."

"It's too bad how many doctors don't stay up to date with important health information."

"Doctors also used to smoke cigarettes in healthcare facilities and recommend them to patients. Just goes to show you doctors aren't always right."

"The medical field scorned the doctor who recommended they start washing their hands... I'm seeing a lot of parallels here."

"Unfortunately it can take many years for practices like these to become more mainstream."

[theprettynosferatu]

CONTENT WARNING. NO, FOR REAL, READ THIS FIRST.

This story contains strong themes and graphic non-consensual sex. If you feel they might affect you adversely, skip this one.

Andrea is being tormented in college by a bigoted popular girl. Her daddy has always helped her... maybe he can help her get some justice...

CW: Incest, non-con, SA, orientation play (F-straight to bi)

I - No Expiration Date

She felt ridiculous. She probably looked ridiculous too, sitting against the wall, grabbing her knees, almost shaking, all in the middle of the hallway. Most made a point to not look at her, rushing to their classes, their dorms or wherever the hell they needed to be with such haste. Well, Andrea knew they only rushed because of her, to give themselves a plausible excuse to avoid doing the right thing and checking up on the poor, weird girl hyperventilating on the ground.

The worst part was that Andrea knew she shouldn’t let it get to her. If anything, it was Kate that should be ashamed of herself, not Andrea- fuck, to say such things in these days was almost quaint in its ignorance, and if Andrea chose to make a stink, grounds for expulsion. Would it be considered a hate crime? Maybe. But going up to the dean or whoever like a poor little victim felt so… humiliating. Perhaps more so than Kate’s constant, whispered words and stories. And some idiots actually listened to her! 

Andrea supposed that was the big perk of having a rich, connected daddy. Even the most moronic and bigoted statements found an audience eager to please, if only for the unspoken promise of future gifts, recommendations, networking opportunities. Shit, even the dean might sweep the whole thing under the rug just to please her family. Andrea could feel the rage building up inside her chest, making her almost sick. Part of it was the stench of injustice that surrounded the whole deal. But most of her anger was directed at herself. It wasn’t as if any of this was new to her: she had come out in highschool. Every insult and every joke and every slur had been thrown at her a thousand times over already. 

But… college was supposed to be different. Even the teachers that saw the abuse in her younger years had told her so. It will get better. You’ll get out of here, and in college all this will be a distant memory. That hope had kept her going even as everyone forgot her name and simply called her “The Dyke” her entire senior year. But those were kids. Kate was a fucking adult. And yet, bigotry seemed to have no expiration date.

Fuck. The bullying wasn’t even fucking accurate! Andrea had been openly bi for years, but apparently the nuances of sexual orientation were irrelevant when it came to making one person the butt of every facile joke, a stepping stone to get some sweet, addicting attention. And Kate loved nothing more than attention. Good, bad, who cared? As long as the spotlight was on her, whatever hole she had in what she called a soul was temporarily filled. Fucking go to therapy, you cunt! Did daddy not hug you enough? Used dollars as a substitute for affection? Boo-hoo. It didn’t justify a goddamn thing.  

Andrea took a deep breath and managed to get up. Her Social Psych lecture was about to start, and Andrea knew she would skip it, even if she tried to fool herself for a moment, to force her legs to walk towards the classroom. Step by step, she headed for her dorm room. Fuck. Another absence. Kate was even fucking up her academic life. But what could Andrea do? Go to the professor and explain that, sorry, I couldn’t make it because the rich girl made fun of me?

She threw herself on the bed with punishing force. A miniature form of self-harm, she figured. Sometimes she hated majoring in psychology: that little voice that analyzed her actions almost made her feel like she was performing her suffering, rather than feeling it fully. And that distancing might also be a defense mechanism. Well, shit. How does one turn their brain off?

Andrea felt a pang in her chest, a familiar longing for home. Sure, it wasn’t a perfect place and money was always tight. Sure, her mother had vanished when she was barely one year old. Sure, the old place was in dire need of repairs and an update. But it was home. Of course, she knew she was lying to herself by omission. She was trying not to think of the one person that made it a home, and inevitably, in trying to suppress the idea, it came to her twice as strong. Daddy. Her father was her home, and it made her feel childish, helpless, as if she was ten and running to him whenever things went poorly. That her mind still went to him filled her with shame.

Oh, bullshit. You know damn well why you don’t want to think about him.

She couldn’t tell when it had happened, exactly. It had been something slow, growing inside her, indirectly pushing her subconscious. If she looked back at her dating history, a pattern emerged, one hidden at the time but blindingly obvious in retrospect: similar to dad, similar to dad… and then, when an errant comment by a friend (“All I’m saying is, like, for an old guy… you’re dad is kinda hot”) opened her eyes, she swerved in an attempt to escape her feelings. Different from dad, different from dad… The problem with “different from dad” was, of course, that those guys were, well, different from her dad. 

The summer before college had been the worst. She did her best to be home as little as possible.

Before she knew it, twin emotions were boiling over inside her. The first made her feel sick to her stomach, made her muscles tense up, made her breathing shallow and quick, as if she was about to leap and bite some animal’s neck. It was rage, pure and shining, clad with the garment of a righteous need for justice. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fucking fair. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. That fucking bitch. She needs to suffer. She needs to be punished. She needs to fucking learn some humility. And at the same time, the second feeling snuck up on her, traveling in the shadow of the first, mingling with it until they became one, like snakes mating. Dad. She needs to suffer, dad. Make her suffer for me. Please. Please, daddy. Do this for me and I’ll… 

Andrea snapped back to reality, horrified. She moved her hand from between her legs, not even knowing when she had started playing with herself. Fuck, she was soaked. Shame almost brought her to tears, until Kate’s sneering face popped back in her mind. She had endured enough for one day. She had earned a little bit of fantasy. Just that. It wasn’t as if she’d ever do anything about… well, anything. But she could imagine, couldn’t she? She wasn’t that much of a coward- she could dare to imagine Kate, and dad, and… 

Fuck it. Who cared if it was wrong. She needed release.

Andrea let her hand go back between her legs.

II - The Call

Mike found himself staring at his phone. His morning coffee had gotten cold, but he took a sip anyway, almost as an automatic action. He couldn’t stop playing the conversation back in his head over and over.

“Dad, I’m on my way. I need your help. I… I’ll explain…”

“Andrea, are you okay? What happened?”

“I… I’ll be there in about an hour. I kinda… I don’t want to talk over the phone. Dad, I… nevermind. We’ll talk when I get there.”

And that had been it. No clues, no hint, nothing to guide him except the tone in his daughter’s voice. She was scared, and she was suffering, and that was all that he needed to know. Whatever it was that was harming her girl, he’d move Heaven and Earth to make it better. That much he knew, deep in his heart. Still, he couldn’t stop picturing the worst possible scenarios.

He tried to remain calm. Sexual assault on college campuses is… 

Mike pushed the thought away.  

Restrictions on reproductive rights have…

Snippets of news stories slapped him. The world could be a terrifying place for a young woman. But that was why they had chosen a college close to home. So Andrea could always come to him if she needed help. And she clearly needed help. Stay focused, old man. She needs you to be strong. Don’t let her see you panic. 

He needed to be strong for her. That was all he always wanted to be, more than anything: a rock, a place of stability, a North Star for the one thing that mattered in his life. They had faced the world together. They had survived poverty together. They had endured the pain of an absent mother and wife together. They had managed a retrograde high school that tormented Andrea together. She had saved his life as much as he had fostered hers. Without his girl, Mike wasn’t sure where he would be- perhaps underground. She had been the reason to dig deep, to find strength, to endure, always. 

Don’t let her see you panic.

Don’t let her see you looking at her.

He shook the intrusive thought off. Andrea needed him, not his fucked up neuroses, not the secret shame the last months of living together had awakened in him.

One hour stretched into a year, and Mike practically leaped out the door as soon as he heard the car pulling over. The first thing he noticed was his daughter’s panicked face, and that alone was enough to make his heart feel like it was about to burst out of his chest. The second thing he noticed was the other girl, passed out in the passenger’s seat. Andrea rushed into his arms, and he held her tight, trying to will some degree of peace into her mind. First things first.

“Are you okay?”, he asked.

“Yes, I’m… I’m fine.”, Andrea sobbed.

Good. Now to do what he did best: fix things.

“Ok, so, your friend…”

“She’s not my friend.”

“What did she take? Did you take anything? Look, I’m not… I won’t get mad, I just need to know what she may have taken… is it just booze? No, couldn’t be… Benzos? Or… Christ, I don’t know what you guys take these days in college…”

“Dad! She didn’t take anything!”

“Are you sure? Maybe she went into some bathroom and did something… okay. First things. We need to call an ambulance…”

“Dad, please! Listen to me! I’ll explain everything. But we need to get her inside before anyone sees-”

“Andrea, this girl is passed out! She needs medical attention! Who knows what-”

“I know what she took because I gave it to her, okay? She’s just asleep! And she should be asleep for… maybe another couple of hours. Daddy, please… I swear I’ll explain. Just help me get her into the house, okay?”

Mike felt dumbfounded. The idea that his Andrea had roofied some other girl was so distant from his image of her, from the girl he had raised, that the contradiction felt impossible to resolve. It was a paralyzing feeling, one he couldn’t entirely put into words. All he knew was he didnt like it one bit. He was a man of action. He needed to do things, more than ponder feelings. And the thing to do, if only to escape that horrid sensation, was to get the poor girl out of the car.

They dragged Kate into the house, and laid her down on Andrea’s bed- a task that, Mike noticed, his daughter undertook with less care than he would have liked. Back in the living room, he looked at his daughter and put on his best stern face. Stern was good. It hid other ideas that came into his mind when he looked directly at Andrea.

“Explain.”

Andrea broke down in tears.

“Daddy, that girl… Kate.. she’s… she’s making my life Hell! She tortures me every day, makes fun of me, spreads rumors about me… people think… I don’t even know what they think about me anymore. So I can’t make any friends. Just like high school. It’s the same damn thing! And they all said… you said college would be different! But it’s not! Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I’m just… I don’t know. Broken. Maybe people can smell I’m weird, or weak, or… and they know they can abuse me and mock me and… It’s not fair! And I didn’t know what to do, I wasn’t thinking straight… I just put a couple of pills in her tea, and… I freaked out. I needed to feel safe, and I feel safe here… with you.”

Mike took it all in. He had to admit the sight of his precious daughter in such despair was enough to pierce any ideas of being tough he might have. And yes, it wasn’t fair. The world wasn’t fair at all. Andrea was beautiful, smart, creative… but there would always be those people who couldn’t understand someone being different, loving who they loved, being their authentic self. He got the anger. He got the frustration. He hated that Andrea had been driven to this point. But there was a big thing to address.

“Honey… I know… but you can’t just… just… kidnap someone!”

Andrea couldn’t help herself. She ran into her father’s arms, and hugged him tight.

“Daddy… I didn’t know what to do. I…”

She went silent. Mike couldn’t find the words to console her, to lecture her, to say anything at all. All he could do was feel the warmth of her body pressed against him, intuit her soft curves, take in the smell of her shampoo, her skin. It was intoxicating, and for once he let himself feel… whatever it was he was feeling. He let himself enjoy the moment, and even the sleeping girl in the bedroom seemed to fade away from his consciousness. They simply lingered, holding each other, taking it all in.

Such a moment couldn’t last. It shouldn’t last. Mike forced himself to speak, to say… whatever he could muster.

“What… I don’t know what you expect me to do…”

He felt Andrea’s hands on his back holding him tighter. He felt her warm breath on his ear, sending shivers down his spine as she whispered before the words even registered in his brain.

“Daddy… please… fuck her for me. Fucking rape the cunt… show her her place. Daddy… break her with your cock. For me.”

III - Persuasion 

Andrea couldn’t tell exactly what happened to her, what shifted within herself in that embrace, what damn had finally broken in her mind. Even as her father pushed her away with a horrified look on his face, she could see him- almost as if for the first time. A veil that had been dulling her sight for so, so long had finally vanished. Yes, she saw everything so clearly now, with such simple purity, devoid of fear or shame or silly excuses. It was a bizarre sensation, to finally be able to accept without doubt or hesitation the truth, so long buried.

She wanted to fuck him.

He wanted to fuck her.

So obvious. So simple. So powerful. Andrea wasn’t going to run away from it anymore. And she could see, under the mask of horror worn by her father, beneath the shock in his eyes, something else. Stirring. 

Suddenly, Andrea felt powerful. Immense. Sexy. In control. The fact that she had become one with her secret desires and he hadn’t brought a predatory joy to her chest… and something else, both an anger and a need. In her heart she could see not just what her father was but what he could be, what he could become, what he needed to be. She could almost smell it- the strong, conquering Man suffocated by the dull veneer of morality and social norms. Yes, she felt powerful- but she didn’t need to be strong. She needed to be taken by him. She needed to bring the beast forth, somehow. To make him see himself as she saw him. To make him see her as she wanted to be seen.

She smiled inside, even as her father almost recoiled from her. It was all a game, now. One she intended to win.

In the blink of an eye her entire demeanor, her posture, the way she looked at her father shifted. For a second she was the perfect picture of innocence, of a young woman in need of rescue.

“Daddy… please… I need your help. Won’t you help your little girl? I promise I’ll be good. I’ll be so… so good to you, Daddy. I’ll be your good little girl. Your obedient… slutty… little daughter”, she smiled as she took one step towards her father, her body now swaying like a cat slowly approaching its prey. She took a moment to delight in the confusion in her father’s eyes, the tension increasing almost to a breaking point.

“I… what are you…”, managed to mumble Mike. Oh, it was so pathetic it became cute.

“Daddy… you think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me recently? It must be so, so hard for you… to see your little girl all grown up, and you all alone… that’s not fair, is it?”, said Andrea as she closed the distance with her now paralyzed father. Oh, this was too much fun. “You have been a bad daddy in your mind, haven’t you? That sounds so painful! Knowing it’s soooo wrong to think about your little girl like that… having to pretend you don’t want to… Fuck. Your. Daughter. Oh daddy, don’t blush! Surprised to hear such naughty words coming from my cute mouth? Or… do you like me having such a potty mouth?”

Andrea, in a swift motion ran her hand over her father’s crotch. Yes. She could feel it. So hard. So warm. She was right. He was breaking.

“Feels like your daddy cock likes me talking like a dirty slut! Don’t be ashamed! I love to imagine your cock getting so hard for me… I love to know I can make it so, so happy… And only using my words! Just talking like the hopeless little fucking whore I am… for you… just knowing you can use my tight holes whenever you want… however you want… and I’ll take it like a good girl! I am your good girl, daddy. You made me, after all… you own me… you can own every inch of my slutty, smooth body…”

Suddenly, she took a step back, her eyes almost in tears. She was the very picture of anguish, of despair, of vulnerability. Mike opened his mouth to speak, but he found no words came to him. He just watched, fighting his need to hug her, to protect her, to tell her he would make everything right again.

“Daddy… I’m so sorry… I don’t know what got into me. I just feel so confused, so disoriented, and… I don’t know. It’s like I have all these feelings inside me and they get all mixed up and I can’t really tell what I feel anymore, and it hurts so much. It hurts, Daddy. And that girl… Kate… I can’t tell you how much she’s hurt me, how she has been messing with my mind and making me so miserable… and… and I guess, I’m not sure, just… I thought you could help me, Daddy. You always could help me. You always could make me feel like everything would be okay, that I wasn’t a freak, or…”

“Honey, you are not a freak! You know this. You’ve been so brave, so strong, so true to yourself, even when everyone gave you grief over it!” He couldn’t help himself anymore. He held his sweet girl in his arms.

“But I… I did a bad thing, Daddy. I brought Kate here… I couldn’t think of anything else to do to make her stop, to make her leave me alone…”

“I know. And yes, you did a… wrong thing. But that doesn’t make you a monster, or evil or anything like that, okay? We’ll… I’ll find a way… I’ll help you. I’ll… fix it, somehow.”

“Will you rape her for me? Will you punish her with your cock for hurting your little girl? I’ll be so, so good for you if you do it, daddy… I’ll be the bestest daughter ever for you!”

Mike tried to pull away before he was interrupted by the sensation of warm, soft lips on his own. Time stopped. He felt dizzy, trapped in the feeling, the scent of skin, the rush of adrenaline in his chest. He panicked as he realized he didn’t stop it in time. He didn’t stop it as time stretched. He wasn’t stopping it even as the thoughts flooded his mind. It took Mike every ounce of willpower to push his daughter away.

Oh, it was so fun to see her Daddy so confused, so aroused, so disoriented. But Kate would wake up soon. Andrea needed to land the killing blow on whatever resistance her dear dad had left.

“I’m sorry Daddy… it’s just that I love you so, so much…” One slow, seductive step towards him. “I was bad, Daddy. I shouldn’t have done that, right? Does that make me a bad girl? A bad daughter?” Another step. So close now. “I’m so, so sorry for being bad, Daddy. I’m sorry I made your cock all hard for me and teased you and used all those dirty, dirty words. Will you punish me, Daddy? Will you make me good again, show me my place? I think you should. I think you should take your cock, and-”

One final step, and Mike snapped. For the first time in his life, he slapped his daughter. Horror set on his face, and it became a mixture of bewilderment and fire when he noticed Andrea’s reaction. She was smiling.

“Mmmmh… so strong, Daddy. Do it again. Punish me. Show me you own me. Make me your bitch!”

It was over for Mike. Something primal, something awful had taken hold of him. 

His hand on her neck. Hers rubbing his cock over his pants. Her soft moans. Kisses that turned into bites. His own mumbled, jumbled words. Little cunt. Evil fucking bitch. Her words, playing off his. Your little cunt. Your good little girl. Her face against the wall. Her movements, grinding her ass against him. Her hands on his chest, pushing him back. 

So many lines crossed. Mike knew, deep down, he had broken something inside himself. Or maybe she had broken it in him. It didn’t matter. He looked down at the beautiful, perfect woman kneeling and smiling. He saw his daughter, yes, but his eyes were now different. The barrier that kept the idea of “daughter” and “sex” apart simply didn’t exist anymore. He felt adrift, caught by a whirlwind he couldn’t stop- one he didn’t want to stop. 

Victory. It looked like victory. Victory over herself, over her old fears. Victory over his attempts at doing the “right thing”. Further victory to come, as well. And it didn’t hurt that the cock that made her was a rather large one, veiny and beautiful. He tried to keep herself in check. She knew exactly what to do, which went against everything her body was screaming for her to do. No matter how much she needed to feel that cock deep inside her pussy, no matter how much she longed to taste his cum on her tongue, she would have to wait. She couldn’t risk some post nut clarity throwing further objections to her plan. She kept her mind on Kate as she licked, kissed, loved his member. She was alert, ready to stop before he went over the edge. She did let one hand slide between her legs- just a treat, and a bit of a show for Daddy. She took him deep in her throat, deeper than anyone she’d ever blown. He deserved it. He was her one true love. 

She did manage to stop herself when she felt him getting close, heard his moans getting stronger.

She stood up and simply, gently, gave his Daddy her soaked hand for him to smell. It was a promise of the pleasures to come… if he did as she asked, as she needed him to. She could see it in his eyes. He had been unleashed. Andrea smiled, and with a moan sucked her fingers clean, keeping her green eyes fixed on her Daddy’s gaze.

Punishment would finally come to the one that had wronged her.

IV - Melody of Madness

Slowly, Kate started to regain her consciousness. It was a gradual thing, messy, disoriented. The first thing she noticed was a scent- the kind of smell that tells one they’re no longer home, but in a place inhabited for years by some unknown Other. Her body felt heavy, sluggish, weighed down. She wasn’t afraid, not at that point. She was too out of it to register such an emotion.

Only when her vision cleared a bit and her body started to feel more like her own did the true horror begin. She tried to remain calm. Okay, Kate. Just… try to figure things out. You’re in a bedroom. A girl’s room, judging by the decor. Shit, did you get wasted again? Wait, no… a room, yes, but not a dorm room. Bigger than the dorms. Oh, fuck. Did I party in town? Did I black out and some random girl decided to help me?

A part of her screamed. Assuming that this was just another regrettable morning after too much liquor was only a pleasant delusion, and she knew it. As painful as it might be, she would have to face another possibility. What was the last thing she remembered? She was getting up, ready for class… then she was picking up her morning coffee… a bitter taste, more than usual, and then… nothing. 

Kate needed to get out. Wherever she was, it was not where she wanted to be, that much she knew. She’d have time to figure things out later. First, get out of bed, and then…

She couldn’t. She was bound to the bed by improvised ropes made of sheets. Her legs were open, held in place. She noticed the way the air felt on her skin. She was in her underwear. This final fact froze her for half a minute- thirty seconds that felt like an eternity. 

Finally, she screamed.

“Shut the fuck up, or things will get very, very messy for you. And I don’t want to ruin my sheets, thank you very much.”

The voice was calm. Cold, yet expressing a hint of anticipation. And it was a voice Kate would never have expected to hear in that place, not in a million years.

“Andrea?”

“Oh, I’m ‘Andrea’ today? Are you sure you don’t mean to call me one of your usual nicknames? No ‘dyke’? No ‘carpet muncher’? No ‘cunt licker’? Isn’t it interesting, how something as simple as a little bit of metal and a few sheets are enough to teach you manners?”

Metal? Kate lifted her head as much as she could. There was Andrea, holding a knife. Shit. Shit. Shit. That little, insignificant bitch! And what was it with the outfit? Black lingerie, full face of make-up, devilishly sharp stiletto heels… Kate had never seen the stupid dyke looking anything like a real woman. Huh. So she had curves hidden under her usual baggy hoodies. Good for her. But she was still a fucking loser, and Kate knew how to handle losers.

“What the fuck are you doing, you crazy bitch? Let me go, now! What the hell are you thinking? People will hear…”

“Oh, don’t make a sound. I don’t want my father to…”

“Really? You brought me to your own home? You really are that stupid, huh? Let’s see what your dad thinks of his dyke daughter when she sees what you’ve done! Help! Sir, please! In your daughter’s room!”

Steps stomping outside. A man entered the room. Finally. Victory! Now the crazy dyke would get what was coming to her, and Kate would have a brand new story to bury the little cunt’s reputation even further. Maybe even hold the possibility of jail over her head.

“Andrea! What the hell is this? What are you doing?”, the man said, suitably shocked.

“Daddy! I’m so sorry! I… I just…”

“Didn’t I tell you to let me know as soon as she woke up?”

“You did. Sorry, Daddy. I’ve been a naughty little girl… will you punish me later?”

“Later, yes. Now we have work to do, don’t we, baby girl?”

“Yes we do, Daddy!” she chirped before giving in to a long, deep kiss with the man.

What. The. Fuck.

“Oh, I’m sorry!”, laughed Andrea. “Did you think he would help you? Kate, Kate… Ignorant as always. For one, I’m not a dyke, I’m bi- not that you care, but I figured a little education can’t hurt. And another thing about me: I have the bestest Daddy in the whole world! And my Daddy would do anything for me, because I’m his perfect, slutty good girl… and he’s very, very good at training good girls! Well, maybe ‘training’ isn’t the right word. How about… ‘breaking’? You know, like a horse! And we’ll make you such a good, good girl!”

Panic set in.

“Crazy! You’re both fucking crazy!”

Kate squirmed, a scream dying in her throat as Andrea crawled on the bed, swaying like a terrible feline, giving her dad a marvelous show. She lightly touched the inside of Kate’s thighs as she made her way up… before flashing the knife in front of the poor captive’s eyes.

“If I were you”, cooed Andrea, “I’d be very, very still for this part.”

Kated hated that her body seemed to instinctively do as the fucking dyke told. She froze, every muscle locked tight. She closed her eyes, and prayed to no deity in particular. Please. Please. Make it stop.

Kate shuddered as she felt something cold barely grazing her, almost between her legs. Terrible images flashed inside her mind. I might die here. A second later, she felt air caressing her private areas. She opened her eyes, only to see Andrea’s mad smile as she held the remains of Kate’s panties in her hand, skillfully cut off her body. 

“Not the sexiest of panties, I must say. I’m a bit disappointed! But…” Andrea brought the panties to her nose and took a deep, gratifying sniff. “There’s something alluring there. Oh! You’ve never had the pleasure of smelling a nice cunt, have you? No, you’re so very, very straight… you’d never do that, right? Well, you’ve been missing out. Time to fix that.”

Andrea carefully, almost lovingly, tied the panties around Kate’s face. Every breath now was an assault, a reminder of how powerless she was. A humiliation.

“Better get used to it, you stuck-up slut. You’ll be tasting the real thing soon enough. But…” Andrea leaped off the bound body of her foe. “What am I thinking? You’re straight! So, I take it you’d enjoy a big, hard cock more than my… dyke attentions, won’t you? Well, how about some Daddy cock? Won’t you love that? I know you will.”

Andrea skipped, child-like to her father. He was watching the scene before him, almost panting. A beast ready to be unleashed.

“Look!” chirped Andrea. “He’s so, so hard for you already! You should be flattered! Well, no point delaying the inevitable, I say. Ready to feel this big cock ramming into that tight pussy, you bitch?”

“No… no, please, don’t… I’ll… I’m sorry for… for everything! Please, please, please…”

“A little late for that, you evil cunt! Now get ready to be used like the fucking cumrag you are!”

Kate tensed up and shut her eyes hard enough to make them hurt. She braced herself for pain, for agony. She tried to somehow make her mind escape somewhere, anywhere else. Wasn’t that something that happened in these situations? Some sort of protective dissociation? And yet her mind was nailed in place, as stuck to the bed as her body. She waited, shaking… and nothing happened.

“How rude of me!”, mocked Andrea. “I almost made my daddy take that pussy dry! That would hurt a lot! I could help with that situation, you know… but you’re not a filthy pervert like me, that likes cock and pussy alike… so… I have to say, I’m a bit conflicted! Wouldn’t want to make you a dyke against your will! But you can choose. Dry or dyke? Huh? Too shy to speak now, you cunt? Answer me! Dyke. Or. Dry.”

Kate couldn’t believe her ears. An image of the knife flashed in her mind. Fear took hold. Feel of pain, primal, deep. The promise of less pain seemed like an imperative, and her mouth spoke before she could stop it.

“Dyke…” she mumbled.

“Sorry? I couldn’t quite hear that”, saud Andrea.

“Dyke! Dyke! Dyke, goddamn you!”

“She’s out! She’s loud! She’s proud! Welcome to the club, sister! Now relax and let me introduce you to a brand new world…”

It felt gross. It felt odd. Kate tried to reframe it. It’s just lubrication. It’s just making it easier for later. It means nothing. It’s just a tongue. It’s just…

Andrea was good. Extremely so. She took pride in her oral skills and was using all her talents, all her tricks on Kate. Not because she wanted the little bitch to feel good: simply because she knew that pleasure would make her suffer as much as the pain to come. Every involuntary thrust of Kate’s hips, every muffled moan that escaped her lips was a step towards conquest… and Andrea felt like a warlord, like a terrible goddess exacting just revenge…

“Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” she giggled. “But we can’t have you cumming like that… not when dear Daddy has been so, so patient!”

Fear crept from beneath the disgust Kate felt with herself. A part of her had enjoyed it, and she hated herself for it. Her body was starting to betray her, and that, more than anything, was terrifying. But now the pain would come. She knew that for a fact.

“Daddy, my sweet, sweet Daddy… break the cunt”, said Andrea.

“Please… don’t…” managed to mutter Kate.

It was in vain.

It did hurt. The man was a beast, savage, thrusting into Kate without the slightest care for her pleasure or comfort, using her body like an object to take out all his messed up frustrations, his fantasies, whatever was mixed up in the storm inside his brain. Kate whimpered and yelped and tried not to scream. And in her ear, a warm breath, whispering to her constantly.

“Good girl… won’t you cry for me? Like you made me cry so many times? You fucking slut… don’t fight it… you know what you are, deep down… don’t you miss my sweet tongue on your cunt? Relax… let it happen… you deserve this… and I’ve earned it… your pain… and what you will be for me later… when the pain is gone…”

Part of her mind was aware enough to realize Andrea was rubbing herself right beside her. But most of her mind was focused on the sensation between her legs, the burning, the feeling she was being torn apart… and something worse, slowly creeping its way into the strange mixture assaulting her consciousness. Andrea saw it immediately.

“It’s better now, isn’t it? You can feel it… it’s okay. You don’t have to lie. Not to me. We are sisters now, after all. I, made by the cock that is remaking you! It’s so… poetic, isn’t it? You are a slut. You’ve always been a slut, deep down… all you needed was someone to prove to you that a slut is all you need to be. All you deserve to be. No more queen bee at college for you! And I know you will be such a good little girl for Daddy…”

“Fuck… fuck you…”

“Oh, you’ll get to do that too! Want a taste?”

Andrea started slowly, kissing Kate’s neck, nibbling it, giving her victim goosebumps. Then she delicately removed her bra, and lips met sensitive skin. Kate’s nipples, hard against her will, were assaulted by kisses, suction, skillful licks. Andrea toyed with Kate, varying the pressure, the speed of her tongue, inserting playful little bites into the game. Measuring. Learning. Deciphering every preference, every weak point. To Kate’s horror, the pain was starting to feel duller, as if coming from far away. The pleasure, on the other hand, was sharper, demanding, a hungry thing coming from her own traitorous body. It was hard to think. Hard to keep any single idea in frame inside her mind. Too many stimuli, coming from too many places, attacking different parts of her idea of self. She felt as if she was drowning in sensation.

Andrea made her way down, slowly, as her father’s thrusts became a bit slower. Stamina wasn’t infinite, but she was quite confident that together they could get the job done. Together, they could do anything. It took a bit of careful positioning, but soon the tip of her tongue was able to tease the little cunt’s clit and even give her dear Daddy a little extra lick when he pulled his beautiful cock out, only to ram it into Kate again. Oh, if only this moment could last forever. Father and daughter locked eyes for a moment, in something that felt like a twisted perversion of love. It was time to move on to the next step.

Kate couldn’t stop squirming. Couldn’t stop moaning. Couldn’t stop her fucking body from reacting to the big cock inside her, the tongue playing her pussy like a violin, her own shame turned into a corruption of pleasure, disgust with herself that swirled and shifted and somehow enhanced the feelings that were eroding her sanity. And then, it snuck up on her.

Kate came, harder than ever in her life. Any pretense was undone at that moment. Her body was too honest. But the fucked up father and daughter team didn’t stop. No, they paused for only a second or two before resuming their work. It was too much. Kate shook as she came again. And again. And again.

She was exhausted. Too exhausted to fight anymore. Too confused to protest anything Andrea said. Her words just permeated, unfiltered, into Kate’s mind.

“...tell you? You can be such a good little whore… and we can be Daddy’s sluts together! Don’t you think he deserves it? His cock made you cum so much… your pain gave it so much pleasure… it owns you now. And you’ll love it, I know you will. We’ll make you love it so, so much, until you forget what a fucking bitch you were before…”

Kate didn’t even notice when the restraints were removed. There were stronger ones in place now, and she could feel them. Inside her head. She had been defeated. She had been conquered. She had surrendered.

“On all fours”, Daddy said. He didn’t have to say it twice. Kate complied. 

“Word on campus is that your little ass is the one hole you’ve been saving up for someone special! Well, I say you’ve met someone very special! So now Daddy will take the last bit of you and you’ll finally be entirely his! Isn’t that exciting? But… what about your poor fellow slut? I mean, I gave you pleasure too! I say I deserve a treat. So… you get pain for Daddy and he gets to watch you eat a pussy for the first time! What a show it will be! And we’ll make it a show, won’t we, sis?”

Yes. Whatever Andrea said. It was easier to comply. Easier to obey. Easier to just accept. It would hurt. Good. If her pain was what they wanted, they would have it. She would have sex with another girl. Good. If they wanted her to dyke out, she would. 

Kate’s screams sent vibrations through Andrea’s pussy, only making Kate’s inexperienced attempts at eating her out so much more delicious. Andrea felt like a queen, being serviced as she deserved. Mike was a beast, finally letting out something that had been suppressed in shame for far too long. Kate let her body take over, turning even pain into something else, something like purpose, or atonement. In a single day, all three had changed. Forever.

The tight, virgin ass, paired with the spectacle of this girl pleasuring his sweet little girl sent Mike over the edge. He barely managed to pull out before cumming with an intensity that shocked even himself. Kate’s back was soaked, and some drops had even landed on his own daughter’s breasts. 

Andrea licked her lips.

“Kate… sis… why don’t we clean each other up for Daddy?”

V - Epilogue

Mike woke up to the sensation of tongues on his cock, as was the norm. He let himself relax and sink into pleasure. To think that half a year ago, the idea of even looking at his daughter had felt revolting! How silly he had been. They loved each other. They made each other their best versions of themselves. Their most perverted versions. 

And Kate… how lovely it had all been. Sure, it had taken a little while for her to fully enter the family, but now she and her adoptive sister were inseparable. They went shopping for slutty outfits, they did their camshows together to make Daddy money… they had even made out in front of the Dean when they announced they were dropping out of college to be full-time whores. It was tender, in a way. Kate’s addiction to pain and humiliation had come as a bit of a surprise, but a welcome one- especially by Andrea, who had started to explore her sadistic side more and more.

Of course, they both adored Daddy. They were always ready, always willing to please him. After far too many years of gray, dull effort and solitude, Mike felt happy. He let himself enjoy that fact.

After he came, the girls licked each other clean, moaning as they savored their Daddy’s cum. With bright smiles, they leaped on the bed with Mike.

“Good morning, Daddy!” they said in unison.

Did you enjoy this story? You can get access to the full library and support my work at patreon.com/prettynosferatu

Every bit helps!

[tismtron]

Can you drop some general dating eltingville club member hcs? It doesn’t matter who i genuinely just crave more fanfiction content of any of them

Absolutely I love these ugly loser boys

The Eltingville Club Headcanons

Pete Dinunzio

•Pete is the shortest of the club at 5’7, but the one who grounds everyone else with common sense, Although he is very impulsive himself.

•He was raised mainly by his father and had multiple siblings in his house. Though his father doesn’t support his horror movies or in his words “nerd shit.”

•mainly joined the club cause they are weirder than he is but supports his hobbies and interests so it give him some solace.

•Canonically into horror porn and cannibal flicks. I think he has paraphilia. He thinks cannibalism is very intimate, eating someone so they’re apart of you and all the time and dedication it takes to eat the entire body intrigues him.

•goes broke every Halloween cause he’s buying shit for either his collection or for his room. I like to think his birthday is in October.

•Has anger issues but not to the degree as bill or Josh do,and that comforts him in some way. Makes him feel better about himself. (He’d never tell them that.)

•wants to be covered in tattoos when he’s older, but in reality he’d probably just get five or six on his arms.

•tried to smoke cigarettes but his dad caught him and made him smoke the whole pack.

•his father and siblings harass him the way that some households do when one them picks up a neither hobby and bullies them cause it’s weird.

•very sweet if he likes you. Will show affection in his own way like asking you to watch horror flicks or info dumping about his favorite slashers or the new dvd set he bought.

Jerry Stokes

•Jerry is the voice of reason that no one listens to. He lives with his mother and father as an only child.

•I like to believe his parents are conservative or religious and don’t like when his fantasy interests because they think it’s immoral or something.

•(taking this headcanon from Tahawkydingo on ao3) his parents found his porn stash of fantasy cosplay pinups and they sent him to gay conversion camp.

•Is autistic but his parents deny that he is. vocally stims with his bidibidi bit and hyper fixates on fantasy. Wants to go to a renaissance fair so bad but no one wants to go with him.

• his parents treat him differently after his parents came to terms with him having autism and they unintentionally belittle him, he stays with the club because they don’t baby him like his parents do.

•has watched every fantasy movie from the eighties at least four times.

•avid weezer listener

Bill Dicky

•snarky fuck. Will always try to get the last say in an argument and gets very butt hurt if he doesn’t.

• He lives with his mom and younger sister. His mom has full custody of him so he never sees his father.

•one thing I saw is that Bill is usually the one to throw the first punch besides Josh. I theorize that his dad used to get physical with him and it hasn’t really clicked with him that he was abused and think it’s normal.

•male manipulator by the book definition of antisocial personality disorder in the comics, average smiths listener in the pilot.

• tried to work at gamestop or Blockbuster but either got denied for having expired dvd returns or stole.

Josh levvy

•lives with his mother and father. I think of him as the youngest sibling if he ever had any brothers or sisters.

•His parents are Jewish and if he showered more he’d have natural curls. Without his glasses he can only see blobs of color, his vision is getting worse.

•it’s cannon that he only eats things that have collectibles in them and hates doing it. But I think he’s always been insecure of his body for a long time and is at the point where he doesn’t care what people see him like some tub of lard because his self esteem is low.

•secretly feels that he’d never measure up to the expectations his parents give him so he doubles down.

•His dad used to get physical with him as a kid as a punishment, like belting or smacking him up side the head if he says something wrong. So he got more aggressive when someone made him upside or says something he doesn’t like.

•collects not even for fun, just to have. Because it’s become such a big part of himself he doesn’t know what to do if he stops.

[blu-oo]

Buggy was Roger’s good luck charm

So I’ve had a headcanon for a while now concerning Buggy and his place on Roger’s crew. It’s no secret that both fans and characters within the One Piece world will look at Buggy and go “How/Why the fuck were you on Roger’s crew?” Hard to say definitively whether or not Buggy actually has good luck considering the absolute hell he has to go through in order to face plant into his power/status, but you still can’t argue that he gains things he is 100% undeserving of lol. Oda’s trolling aside, let’s say that his failing upwards IS purely a result of him having his luck stats set to fucking max with a few buffs tacked on. We can even make this more fun and say the reason Buggy’s luck is so paradoxical is BECAUSE his luck goes to others instead of being reserved for himself (either that or the only reason “failure” is tacked onto this is because Buggy is a jackass and karma doesn’t sleep on her prettiest degenerates). I can see this going down a few different ways:

Maybe they were on an island along the grand line and came across a vendor selling good luck tokens. An ornate looking box catches Roger’s eye, and the vendor starts gushing about how it’s their most “luckiest item” and that it’s very VERY much worth the hefty price tag. It’s also most definitely “a worthwhile investment, trust me! It’ll all pay off in the end!” Whatever that means. Roger’s gut feeling doesn’t need to be told twice, so he buys it. This could be a moment similar to Shanks where they take the box back to the ship only for “SURPRISE! CHEST BABY!” :D to happen again. Roger is no longer allowed to go shopping/haul treasure back to the ship without Rayleigh’s stink eye supervision.

Maybe there’s something similar to the Sabaody slave market where he’s being explicitly advertised as a good luck charm. The person selling him shows off his luck by playing simple tricks (like using cards and gambling with onlookers. Look, if you’re gonna try to sell someone's luck, ya might as well make an extra buck while doing so. And hey, this just proves his good luck charm is working). While the seller is distracted, Roger easily sidels up and eyes Buggy’s mean mug. He asks if Buggy is actually lucky and gets a rudely gestured affirmative. “Great!” He says before yanking the kid up and running off laughing. Rayleigh: what the fuck is that. Roger, tankard in one hand, clown child in the other: a beer.

Maybe Roger just happens upon Buggy and and witnesses his luck in action. Sees how instant karma comes to collect after some pompous jerk spits and belittles little Buggy and immediately he’s shamed and humiliated in front of a bunch of people (in addition to Buggy pit pocketing him in retaliation). He witnesses a merchant make snide and haughty remarks and refuses to sell to Buggy because he’s a visible street rat and then immediately afterwards a flock of rabid seagulls dive bomb his stall and peck at his toupee (a piece of bread is flung and lands right before Buggy’s nose). A group of older teens beating the snot out of buggy and stealing whatever he gained that day only to then immediately run into Roger? Well. Etc. etc. etc. Roger sees all this and more and at this point he decides to take Buggy along just because of how hilarious this all is (Buggy’s eventual love for Roger and therefore his luck beginning to include Roger was just an added bonus).

And since this is such a loose concept (and ignoring that Roger was a D so the following woulda happened anyways lol) we can even say that his luck to Roger is the reason for all the success at the end of his career lol. Edd war? Buggy. Living past his initial expiration date? Buggy. Making it to laugh tale? Buggy, except wait- things didn’t go 100% to plan with that one, huh 🤔🤔🤔🤔 and guess who wasn’t there 🤨🤨🤨🤨 im playing or am i

GASP. OR MAYBE HE HAS ABSOLUTE SHIT LUCK AND HE SAPS THAT SHIT OUTTA EVERYONE AROUND HIM EXPLAINING WHY THEY ALWAYS SOMEHOW LOSE OUT IN SOME WAY INSTEAD OF HIM—

[veintrry]

what are we?

wanderer x gn!reader, could be a modern au, angst & fluff, he's scared of trusting his 'heart'.

an: i had a dream he asked this (he asked more but I couldn't remember) and it was like a twitter back and fourth😭

ac: @/syea-say on tmblr | @/syea_say on twt & ig

"What kind of relationship do we have?"

The question came abruptly, bringing the silence to an end. You noticed beforehand that it seemed like something was on his mind, he appeared to be elsewhere in his mind, pondering deeply. Is this what that was about?

He doesn't wait for you to answer, not yet, he continues,

"Love always ends in disappointment." He turns to face you properly, a stoic look in his eyes, his lips pressed into a line. "You're a mortal too, so what's the point of pursing something like this when it'll come to an end anyways?"

He was right to say that. I mean, you are a mortal, you have an expiration date, so does everyone, but to you and the majority of others it's normal, because it's something you learn to live with an accept.

"Everything ends at some point, you know there's not much to be done about that. We can only make good of what we have now."

"That's such a boring answer." He scrutinises you, his brows furrowing. "You know that's not what I want to hear."

You stare back at him, quiet as you think of what to say. You could easily just tell him that you won't leave him, that you'll never allow that to happen. But you can't make such a huge promise, if you break it, it would feel like a lie. You don't want to lie to him, but you don't want to disappoint him.

"There is no real point." You turn your head to look elsewhere, opting to view the scenery than see his face scrunch up. You didn't want whatever reaction he had to offer you, not when you weren't sure if the reception would be good.

"Do you think I do things because they'll last?" You crouch down to the plants nearby, touching their tips with your finger. "Nothing lasts. Everything ends." Life was no different than a leaf, but what defined it was not the tree that beared it nor it's kind but rather how far it travelled, how big it's world was. "But if I just did nothing my entire life and waited for that end to come it would've been no different from the beginning."

"What the hell are you trying to say?" The wanderer crosses his arms. He doesn't want anything complicated right now, each answer that isn't what he wants to hear sounds more like the opposite; Like you don't want to be here, with him.

Turning your head up at him, he was starting to bother you with his unspoken persistence for you to just say what he wanted you to and you began speaking directly, "I'm saying that the only reason life is considered to have an end is based on if you actually do something during it." You stayed quiet for a bit before letting out a heavy breath after some contemplation. "I don't want to do nothing." It didn't matter how many years passed, how old you are or how weak you are. If you still have time then you might as well live in it.

"Kuni, you might have existed a long time but have you properly lived? You act so humane and yet you deny any internal ties to humanity. Isn't it more like you're using my mortality as an excuse to forbid yourself from acknowledging your own denials?"

That, that was most definitely the last thing he wanted to hear. You having said you can't be here with him would have been bad, but somehow this was worse because he had his reality forced infront of him. It was humiliating in a way, to be exposed when you were always bare. You can see his face growing frustrated, he seemed as though he was trying to bite his tongue but you might've struck a nerve. "An excuse?" A degrading laugh erupted from his throat, "Are you serious? Why would I need an excuse? I don't need to be human in the first place, this has nothing to do with that. You're the one making up things and avoiding giving me an answer."

You were on the brink of leading to an argument and even you couldnt keep your head cool. You stand up in defense as you shoot back. "I'm not avoiding anything. I'll stay with you for as long as my lifespan allows it, but I cannot and will not tell you that I will stay forever."

There was an aching silence that followed. As though this was concrete, like this was just shattering. You didn't know what it was breaking, you didn't know if it was your relationship or him, but you had to try and fix it before it worsens.

"Kuni, I love you, I want you to be happy, not just now but onwards as well." Your gaze falls onto his hands. You want to reach out, but you cant bring yourself to out of fear he'd deny you. You know he might want you to, as a sign of.. anything, but you can't. "I don't want you to rely on me, I want you to be capable of accepting yourself and finding comfort within who you are."

"Well then, ...Who am I?" The wanderers head stays stuck to the ground as if if he keeps his sights on it it would open up and just, do something, swallow him, let him forget this, forget everything, Bury him deep in the dirt and have the roots of all life suffocate him. "What?"

"You said within who I am, so, who am I?"

You didn’t want to do this a second time, "Kuni-"

"Please," He pauses, releasing a shaky breath from the confines of his chest. "just answer."

"You're who you say you are. I won't define you."

He latches onto your wrist, pulling you to him, underneath his hat as his head beckons upwards and you finally get to see his face rid of that anger. Instead, it is replaced with a pleading look, almost desperate. "I want you to,"

"I need you to do it. I don't know how else I am meant to do it. I don't know who I am. I wasn't meant to have an identity, I'm not like you, I'm not a human." In a way, admitting that was a painful thing. No matter how alike to humans he was, he wasn't one. "You were made, I was built. You breathe the moment you are born, I taught myself to." The more he spoke you felt like he was trying to implement this difference into your mind, that if you couldn't promise him forever you should be irked by him.

"We are different, but you are still a person to me. Do you think that I've ever seen you as anything else? Do you think I want to leave you alone? I care for you, I do so much that it kills me. And I hate how if you asked something of me I'd give it to you so easily, but not this. I won't lie to you." It would've been an odd thing for you to say, but to you, the wanderer made you feel alive, it made all the previous events of your life pale in comparison, and you truly, felt alive. You don't know why but with this emotion came care and you want to continue to value him, to love him, even when you've passed.

"Our relationship doesn't matter, you just need to know that I love you." You yank his wrist and pull him into you as your other arm slips under his and around his back, holding him tightly as you rest your head in the coup of his neck. "I love you, Kuni. I love you, I love you, I love you." And with each time you repeated it you lifted your head to his neck, planting small kisses, hoping he can feel it, what you do.

The wanderer merely stood there, paralysed. He still wants the unreal fantasy of eternity. But, he finds himself caving to the warmth of what you were offering despite how bittersweet it. It was fulfilling despite the fact it reflects the temporary time you two had, but he no longer found his mind wandering off to then, to when you'd slip away from him. He could feel you. Hands slither to your back, pulling you deeper into him, so deep till there was no space between you two but he still wanted more. He wanted to be with you, just as one, to know all of you. And he was worried he wouldn't have enough time for that. But just for now, for this moment, he wants to listen to your voice, to feel your body temperature, and rest.

He simply leans in, and kisses your forehead, before tilting his head onto yours. This is fine, this is okay. He can live with this, for as long as he can have it.

[callivich]

Just a reminder for anyone new or anyone who has been lurking:

I know it’s difficult coming into a new fandom but everyone in the Gallavich fandom on tumblr is very friendly and kind, so don’t feel nervous - just jump in and say hi.

Make an intro post and check the #gallavichintro tag to find fellow fans! Here’s the general Shameless version!

Like seriously just send a message or reply to a post. We’re here to have fun, the idea of new people is great because it means more engagement.

When I say people are nice, I mean it. I’ve been in so many different fandoms over 20+ years and this is genuinely the kindest group of people I’ve ever encountered online in a fandom space.

Give your blog an icon. People tend to assume that ones without are spam blogs and may block immediately. Here are some great icons you can use with credit: here / here / here

If you’d like a Gallavich banner for your blog, send me a message - I’d be so happy to make you one! I’ve got ones free to use here / here.

Please don’t steal gifs and repost them, here’s a great post explaining why and another one explaining why and how to use the gif search function! And another one explaining the gif search function.

Reblog content you enjoy and write in the tags or reply to the post - how much you liked something or if you have other thoughts…..creators love to hear this!

Use the tags. They’re the best way to get your posts noticed if you’re new- #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #ianxmickey any or all of these will work. When you make a post, you should see a little grey box that says something like add tags to help people find your post, just type in there. (You don’t need to use the # symbol. Tumblr automatically does that.)

There are so many brilliant active communities that you can take part in - I’ve done a roundup post here & I will update it with new communities.

If you feel creative? Got for it. Don’t worry about what people think, just share your work. Write that fic or headcanon or meta, draw that art, create that gifset, design that aesthetic piece, share that playlist. Chances are that a lot of people will enjoy your work!

Don’t feel shy about promoting your work either - tag it with #gallavich & the tags mentioned above.

Recommend what you’ve enjoyed! There is no time limit on sharing links to fic, art, headcanons, gifsets, posts of any kind…..reblog/share what you love and keep sharing it. Whether it’s brand new or years old, sharing the work is great idea.

Go back and explore things. Older fics on ao3, gifsets and art from years past, moodboards and headcanons that are years old. None of these things have an expiration date. So reblog them, share them, let people experience them for the first time and allow people to enjoy them for the 2nd/3rd/4th time.

Comment!! It’s such an important thing to do in fandom. Whether it’s on new work or old work, whether you write long comments or just a keyboard smash and emojis - it’s great way to share love to creators, to support/encourage/inspire them and to get involved in fandom. Check out Ian and Mickey’s guide to commenting and other posts about commenting: here // here // here

Share your ideas. Whether it’s headcanons or meta or fics or art, share it. Feel free to explore your ideas. There’s always room for discussion, analysis and creativity.

If you see ask memes or tag games going around, take part! Or even reblog one of these games and tag some people you’d like to get to know better! Don’t feel intimidated, it’s always nice to be tagged.

Keeping reblogging posts. Not just once or twice but again and again. The queue is there for a reason. And each time you do? You’re sharing it with your dash.

Remember, pretty much everyone starts out as a lurker and when it comes to being creative - everyone starts at the beginning. Those writers and artists and creators that you are in awe of? They all started out at square one. Everyone practices and creates over and over again, that’s how it goes. The more you write or draw or create, the better you get. And fandom loves to see it.

Need ideas or inspiration? I’ve got lots and lots of prompts for you!

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[lazyrunawayphilosopher]

*slams hands on the table* drop your fave fics rn

Hold my hand (and I'll hold yours)

Kim Dokja and Yoo Jonghyuk are stuck holding hands at school for one week. (This has smut)

Sour then sweet ( This has smut)

Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja ran a lemonade stand as kids. Yoo Joonghyuk made good lemonade but sucked at selling it, so Kim Dokja was his little salesman. Years later, Yoo Joonghyuk is a successful CEO and Kim Dokja is the new employee looking for an entry level job, but Yoo Joonghyuk immediately puts him as sales manager.

Overtime

Kim Dokja, in a very brief moment of stupidity, sees Yoo Jonghyuk and thinks that he has met a kindred soul, a fellow slave to capitalism. Or in other words, a fellow modern day salary worker.

How the might fall (in love)

Yoo Joonghyuk confuses sexual tension with anger issues while Kim Dokja's censored face annoys the life out of him, so he takes matters into his own hands, quite literally, to get rid of it (and it works).

Keep your enemy close and your heart closer(lest it falls in love)

Police Chief Yoo Joonghyuk’s neighbour is one of the city’s most notorious mafia bosses—but he doesn’t have the evidence to prove it.

Study reveals: you can't suffer if you are dead

In which Yoo Jonghyuk takes being a Tsundere to the next level, Kim Dokja is very confused, everyone else is very tired, and help comes from the last place they'd expect it.

Dating Yoo Joonghyuk

Dating Yoo Jonghyuk is like dating a really buff leech.

This is how it feels

“Don’t you dare,” Kim Dokja warns, already tensed. “Don’t you even think–”

The protagonist then proceeds to roll over once more, making Kim Dokja the victim of gravity and a muscle bound terror once more.

“I hate you! Do you even know how much you weigh?! Joonghyuk! Get off!”

Honey,line and sinker ( This has smut)

So Kim Dokja is a pretty little thing.

So Kim Dokja is a pretty little thing that isn't Yoo Joonghyuk's.

The tidal pain of wanting

Kim Dokja is transmigrated into a different world. He's determined to keep to himself and wait for the narrative to reach it's end so he can go home. He doesn't mean to get attached.

He doesn't expect to be loved, either.

Raising a protagonist

In which Kim Dokja learns to hate reading, but he still manages to find his protagonist.

You are the colours to my skies

“I didn’t sign a consent form for this,” Kim Dokja announces, after giving up the valiant struggle.

Yoo Joonghyuk takes his win as what it is, and presses a long, sweet kiss against Kim Dokja’s neck. “You did,” he mumbles. “It was our marriage certificate.”

A king's consort

The Constellations become restless on a fine Friday evening, and take it upon themselves to torture a helpless Kim Dokja by starting an unnecessary scenario.

It’s goal?

For Kim Dokja to be loved.

How foolish.

Yoo Joonghyuk can't be this clingy!

Such close touch gave Yoo Joonghyuk great satisfaction. He could feel each subtle breathing and heartbeat from Kim Dokja. The rise and fall of the chest, as well as the warmth of the body, giving him immense peace of mind.

Faithful fate

[Spoilers up to Ch.310 of the webnovel]

AU where Yoo Joonghyuk got the star in the 46th Scenario and picked a different option.

Would you roll for me if I was on Rate-up?

The three times Kim Dokja made Yoo Joonghyuk jealous of a jpeg. and the one time Yoo Joonghyuk turned the tables on him.

Re calibrating love and logic

Yu Junghyeok and Kim Dokja are dating; he just doesn't know it yet.

Can't dream alone

5 times (?) Kim Dokja tried to help Yoo Joonghyuk rest + 1 time it's Yoo Joonghyuk's turn (?).

Darling dance

In which an assassin slow dances with his target crown prince

The casualty of casual touch

Kim Dokja knew something about their relationship had changed when Yoo Joonghyuk began assailing him with casual touch.

Human and something like magic(it's love)

At least you celebrate your birthday, Kim Dokja had thought, before banishing the thought entirely. No use harping on it and letting his cheap, one-day expired convenience store cake taste bitter on his own birthdays.

The fox and the snake

A godling snake of the forest piques the interest of a fox.

Figuratively and literally

Sequel to dealing with the duke by baked m potato.

home, an irrevocable condition

Kim Dokja would rather die than let Yoo Joonghyuk know where he works. And he succeeds. At least for two full years.

the art of getting caught-a guide by kim dokja

4 times kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk were found in compromising positions, and 1 time they were actually getting it on

The story in a sunset

Yu Junghyeok used to think he'd learnt everything about himself already. Now he knows that, ever since they'd met, he's only ever wanted answers Kim Dokja could give.

There are more but these are ones I highly recommend.

[marionmorse]

Ohh my absolute goodness..

side note, one look at Heavy and Medic on the character lineup at the teamfortress.com homepage tells you EVERYTHING about their marriage

Anyway, the god... damn... I can't get over... just, Engineer TF2 and the duality of his character. Like, he's one-hundred percent someone to pull on gator skin boots, a ten gallon, get all yee-hawed up for a night out at the dance hall. But then go home and infodump about hotchkiss drives, stress-strain curves, and reflow soldering.

There are some specific competitive lines that comes to mind that are JARRING to hear in his honeyed-up Texas voice along with shit like "hooo-whee, makin' bacon!" and "START PRAYIN', BOY." Maybe that's just a huge part of the appeal to his character, but think about his BUDDIES, too.

Medic is probably quite familiar with American stereotypes pre-Gravel Wars, doesn't expect much from a bumbling rural southerner with a generic set of tools upon first glance. but.., he's a bit BLOWN AWAY when Engie gets all inquisitive about the ins and outs of the medi-gun. Wants to look into how the serum works as a mechanical component, the powering and logic behind it all, even overwhelms med's (limited) level of delicate mechanical knowledge. his arc is all, "okay, so, this little guy might be a bigger-brained fella than I expected!" The punting of med's early-day ego and subsequent forging of their friendship is just so... ourgh... I love characters and arcs and stories and growth and...

Also, Soldier! The all-American Ultra Yank who doesn't see eye-to-eye with Engie at first. They've both got contrasting leadership qualities when it comes down to it, fr, a- a- and, AND, soldier HATES nerds. Engie's a nerd. Big time. It takes a while for that mutual love respect to build up, you know? do you catch my drift? I'm just rambling now.

ALSO also, Engineer himself going from the more introverted, lone-wolf type we see in Meet the Engineer to a sort of leader, the level-headed de-escalator we see in Expiration Date. The guy who feels for and loves his team, but no doubt brings out the 'Texas' in 'em all. It's kinda cute. I imagine he taught everyone square dancing at some point, 'cause how else would they know?

In the end, I just love to think of Engie as being one of the cornerstones of the team's overall culture. i mean, he's a solid family guy - cooks the breakfasts, fixes the (practical) problems, heck, plays music, tells stories, keeps 'em together when times are tough. We ALL know that some of him has to rub off on the team he bunks with for years. Not in a father-figure way, nahh, but certainly in a Dad Friend way. Big difference.

(Can you tell who my favorite character is yet? (demo, actually. And Heavy. come to think of it, the defense trio is the love of my life. My boys. (I could write and MLA-formatted essay about the balance of culture and personality within the Tuefort Nine, citations intact.)))

[terrence-silver]

hii! what about beloved acting crazy after reading a message from Cheyenne to Terry om his phone? beloved has started a relationship with Terry months after Cheyenne, and demonstrates jealousy over him to read a message from his ex

---

Terry gives me the impression of being the type of guy to literally block his fling on everything the minute John returned into his life and Terry decided it is time to go back to his old ways. Locks changed. Messages transferred to voice mail and then deleted. Emails auto-erased in the trash section. All possible ways to contact him cut off in no time at all. Secretaries instructed to swerve and avoid said person. There's walls and there's no crossing them anymore because he doesn't want them crossed. The doors to his life are closed. This is nowhere confirmed in the show, of course, but I just get those vibes, as the kids nowadays say. I mean, he even changed his place of residence from the Malibu beachfront to another manor altogether, that's how definite and drastic his shifts are and can be. Terry Silver is possibly one of those people who have the capacity of changing within a second. On and off switch. He's that person who blocks you without ever explaining or giving closure, because he doesn't give closure when he doesn't want to. He's not that man. Not for everyone anyway. He's here when it is convenient and he's no longer here when it is not. Next time you meet him? If you meet him? You might not even recognize him as the him you knew because his mannerisms, behavior and overall aesthetic might be that different.

That skin is shed and long since devoured by him. He's a new snake now.

It is a bit like a sleeper agent triggered into action after years of slumber and being activated to complete his mission, which, considering Terry was with the Spec Ops in Vietnam isn't that bad of an analogy. Malibu Terry doesn't exist. Malibu Terry was an identity. Whatever Malibu Terry did while he was Malibu Terry was simply a way to believably put up a front and kill time while he was 'slumbering' and cleaning himself up. Brumating, if you will.

I feel beloved never sees any messages of any sort. No indication of past relationships, adventures or affairs. Nothing stashed. Nothing archived. No notifications. No nothing. No surprises. No unexpected pop-ups. Nothing beyond his control. They never have the chance to be jealous. It's not that he's lying. He's an older man of wealth and leisure and he's experienced; of course there has been women before and of course beloved knows. He's not a monk and he's not an innocent spring chicken and that's part of his allure. But, he has this uncanny ability to separate himself from things and people that have reached their expiration date and he does it as easily as putting on a new tie or slicking his hair back. All his attention is strictly and entirely on beloved, and in the context of everything written here that is both a beautiful and daunting prospect because there's people he's going to unapologetically and coldly ghost the living daylights out of like they never even existed to him...and then there's people he's going to smother and drown in his love and possessiveness until they're more himself than themselves.

It is almost entirely saner to be in Cheyenne's shoes and be met with indifference.

[notsofunsenpai]

Some nights

Mentions of SA/R@pe,talking about committing, abuse,drugs

If sensitive to any of these pls skip 🥺

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Sleep.Work.Eat.Repeat

Sleep.

Work.

Eat.

Repeat.

Waking up,eyes feeling heavy, not wanting to wake up, but the light from the sun shining into your face says it's time to get up. You spent all your money on rent and bills..so guess it's time to eat leftover stale bread this morning. You go into the bathroom doing your business then go out to the small kitchen where you open the loaf of bread that passed its expiration date,eating three pieces and closing the rest just in case you don't earn any money today. You put your hair into a messy bun then changed into your comfy clothes,flopping down onto the single sofa chair,sure it may be uncomfortable but you learn to get use to it and know the right spot to be comfortable. You turned on your box television,putting on some cartoons, not moving from the spot for hours until it hit nighttime. You finally get up going into your room that has a small dresser,tons of clothes on the ground, and a single mattress on the floor with a soft red blanket on it with two pillows. You change out of your normal clothes into your work uniform.

A bunny uniform,with black boots.

You didn't care what you look like,you knew your body wasn't like anyone else's,then again, no one is the same with different body types. In your workplace, you've seen many females with triangle,rectangle,hourglass,etc.

You didn't really have chest anymore,you got rid of them,it's still healing,got use to the soreness and pain so it doesn't bother you,plus you're taken some pain pills. You leave your place,walking down the sidewalk as the cold air hits you,ignoring everyone to you. No one really has a face to you because they mean nothing to you. They didn't care for you as you didn't care for them,you just minded your business and headed to a building that was baby blue color,entering it as your eyes adjusted to the bright colors and lively people.

People gambling.

People losing

People drinking and eating

People f*cking

V.I.P

You watched your fellow bunny coworkers,having the time of their lives with the customers.

There were all kinds of people they(meaning your coworkers) were somewhat like your family, but you don't really talk to them. You never really did, but being around them and watching them made them seem like family to you. You stared at them for a moment before clocking in,sitting down,doing nothing really. You just kinda waited like per usual. You hated people, but you only had this job because you didn't want to feel alone and thought that sex was the way to be happy and feel loved. So you spent many of your nights having intercorse with multiple people. At first, some nights worked tho the feeling you felt was more pleasure than love. Some nights sex was uncomfortable, but you didn't stop it,even if tears fell down your face because love could hurt,you thought it was normal. Some nights you just stared out into nothingness,thinking what if you just take a bullet to your head,being dead was better than not being loved.some nights you'd be 'laughing' and dancing onto the pole,shaking your ass in front of weridos and creeps. Hating how they see you as a play thing, but you dealt with it,practically feeling them undressing you with their eyes.

Some nights you hide in the bathroom stalls,knees up to your chest while sitting on the close toilet lid,waiting for your shift to end.

Some nights, you got tipped and paid good to eat for a week, but avoiding the lovely customers meant no eating,that's fine as well.

Some night, you found yourself dazed in some hotel on the room floor because the drink you had in it had Rohypnol.

That's fine,you didn't remember what really happened,but the less you know, the better.

Some nights when you get an uncooperative person,you'd end up getting injured or assaulted,having multiple brusies,gashes, and sometimes getting lucky with one or two tiny cuts.

It wasn't easy work but you gotta do it,sure you could get a new job but you didn't.

You wanted to feel something,be useful,anything.

You were so lost in thought that you didn't notice anyone tapping your shoulder,it must of took this customer a long time of tapping to get your attention,you slowly turn your head towards the stranger.

"Took you long enough. " The male with no face said another day, you thought. Another person you gotta entertain to survive and be happy. From what you can tell, he had brown hair,wearing a red hoodie,along with some sweats and some fake yeezys on his feet.

"Hello." You said politely,"What can I do for you, dear customer?" Putting a smile onto your face.

"How about a cute bunny like you come spend the night with me?" The male said.

You didn't hesitate, you do what the customer asks and wanted.You quickly nodded your head,"Yes,I'd love that."

"Hell yeah,you won't regret it." He said,suddenly lifting his hoodie over his head.

You were surprised at his boldness. Sure, doing right here in the open was sometimes the normal but whatever the customer wants.

You were about to unzip your suit when you suddenly felt the hoodie being put on you,it felt really warm compared to outside and in the building at the moment. You stared at the male with a confused look as you heard him laugh softly.

"You look like you're freezing your ass off. So wear my hoodie to keep you warm." He says half lying and half telling the truth. He was happy that he was wearing a long white sleeve sweater under the hoodie, just in case. Truth be told, he didn't want to be here, but the boys wanted to hang out with cute bunnies in suits and dragged him along. He was bored out of his mind,planning to leave until he saw you. You caught his eyes. You looked like you've been through it all mentally and physically,you looked like you needed someone. On top of that, you were shivering before he had put his hoodie on you. Your eyes had noticeable bags under them,you looked tired and weren't eating well.

"Thanks." You said,feeling his hand placing gently onto your lower back.

"Anytime,let's go." He says,grabbing your rabbit ears,tossing them somewhere,leading you out of the building.

"What do you wanna do tonight? What position or state do you want me in?" You asked .

"That's a surprise." He grins at you.

You nodded your head at him,keeping your eyes on the ground,not bothering looking at your surroundings. Whatever happens,happens.

You guys soon arrive at the destination, and you gently look up,seeing you guys stopped at a restaurant. You stayed quiet as you followed the male into the building,taking your seat as he did as well.

He looks at his menu before noticing you weren't looking at yours,"Do you know what you already want?" He asked you.

"Don't want to be too expensive.." You said unsure of his motives.

He raises his eyebrow at you,"Anything,just get whatever it's my treat."

You nodded,looking at the menu,deciding to order something simple a breakfast burger with cheese grits and some raspberry tea.

Once this stranger decided on what he wanted, he talked your ear off for a good several minutes until the waiter came and got your order and his then leaves.

"Tell me some stuff about you. What's your hobby,favorite color,why you have a job like this if you are clearly unhappy? What's your favorite movie?"

You kinda ignore him as he continues to talk and ask questions for like five more minutes. The waiter came back with the food,placing it down and leaving. You begin to eat,the food tastes good,you have to make sure to savor each bite and be great full that you get to eat a meal today.

The brunette watches you,smiling softly,you may not notice but he did,the ways your eyes lit up alittle when you ate the food but it also saddens him but this is about you not him. He wasn't a fool he was talking to distract you from the pain or try to. He meant well,surprised you haven't told him to shut the hell up yet.

He continues to talk,tho at times to him he did get tired of talking so he shut up himself and eat some as well then talked after he was done.

He patiently waited for you,then once done, he paid, and then you guys left. He had also brought you some funnel cakes before leaving,he then leads you to his apartment complex. He notices you're straggling along. He picks you up,"Those shoes must be killing you,let me carry you." He says kindly. You just let him do his thing.

You arrive at his door,he unlocks it and carrying you inside while turning the lights on. The place wasn't to big or to small,just right. There was a small kitchen right there when you enter the door while a small living room and then a door that leads to the bathroom and another door that leads to his bedroom. He places you down onto the sofa,taking your shoes off,gently messaging your feet,trying to ease the pain then resting it onto his coffe table. He turns on his flatscreen,putting something random on,"I'll be back." He says. You nodded,eating your funnel cakes or whatever you had left,when he returns he's wearing a tank top now along with holding a blanket, he sits next to you along with wrapping the blanket around you two. His arm rested around your waist,bringing you close to him as he rest his head on your shoulder while watching tv.

You were confused,you didn't understand any of this or what was happening,"What are you doing?" You asked.

"Spending some time to you,I don't really care about sex as much just wanna make sure you're taken care of. " He replies.

You were skeptical,it was still to early on this man's real actions but you wouldn't do anything anyhow.

The night went on,you were slowly getting more and comfortable with this man,who you had recently learn his name was kenji,and the first time in awhile you can put a face and personality on him. This was new,you didn't want this feeling to end. He was the only one who generally seem to care about you,he even offer to let you stay here because there would always be food on your plate and someone to talk to. The two of you happened to fall asleep,you passing out first. Kenji smiles softly at you,kissing the top of your head,snuggling close to you as he closes his eyes as well.

When you woke up,you felt that you were on your side,then confuse at your surroundings. You weren't on the couch anymore, you sat up,noticing a note on the bedside drawer,saying that Kenji was going out for a few hours and that he'll be back soon also that he ordered some breakfast for you waiting in the kitchen.

You smiled gleefully.

Maybe this is where your life changes ?

[covid-safer-hotties]

"You Have to Live Your Life:" Responses to Common COVID Minimizing Phrases - Published Aug 6, 2024 By: Olivia Belknap

If you're still COVIDing, you've likely heard phrases, like "it's mild now," or "you have to live your life," repeated over and over. You might be wondering, "what do I even say here? How do I respond to this?" I've listed some of the most common minimizing phrases and some potential responses to them. Feel free to adapt these and make them your own. I've included a variety of responses with different tones, depending on how much you want to be #saltingthevibes.

I want to recognize you might not always have the time or emotional energy to get into these discussions. Some people unfortunately aren't engaging in good faith, so it's important to be able to discern for yourself when you want to have these conversations. You don't always have to educate people, it can be exhausting! For those times when you want to respond but are at a loss for words in the moment, here are some ideas to get you started.

Starting off with one of my (least) favorites:

"You have to live your life!"

"I am living my life. Wearing a mask doesn't stop me from living my life, it makes it possible for me to do the things I love more safely." "I'd love to be able to get out and do more things, but unfortunately that's not safe for me because so few people are masking." "I would be a lot harder to live my life if COVID disabled me." "Living my life means protecting my health, in the short and long term." "I've adapted how I live my life based on the research about all of the long term health effects of a COVID infection."

"How long are you going to keep doing this for?"

"I'll probably always wear a mask in public spaces, when you know better you do better!" "There's no expiration date on keeping myself safe and protecting my health." "When we've widely implemented clean air standards and there's a sterilizing vaccine for COVID, then I might update my current precautions." "I really wish I didn't have to do this either! But given what I know about COVID and Long COVID, this is the best choice for me." "How long are you going to keep doing this for? It seems like you're sick all the time now, it sounds really unpleasant."

"We have to live with COVID."

"I'm glad you agree the government has done a terrible job trying to mitigate the spread!" "To me, living with COVID means doing what we can to protect ourselves, not just giving up entirely." "We also have to live with car accidents, that's why I wear my seatbelt to protect myself." "What if we didn't have to? What if we collectively did more to clean the air and create safer living conditions for all of us?" "Unfortunately you're right, that's why I'll continue to mask to keep myself and my community safer."

"It's mild now/it's just a cold/flu."

"Many illnesses seem like 'just a cold/flu' when you're first infected, but can still have long term health consequences, like mono or HIV." "You can develop Long COVID even if your initial symptoms are mild or asymptomatic." "I'm not as worried about the initial symptoms of the acute infection, I'm more concerned about the significant risk of Long COVID." "You're lucky your symptoms weren't very severe initially. For me, COVID was a lot worse than a cold." "I don't want to get sick with a cold either."

"I got it X times and I'm fine!"

"I'm sorry to hear you've had so many infections. COVID can cause silent damage throughout our bodies, it might be a good idea to go in for a check up with your doctor." "I'm glad you're feeling fine so far, but my experience has been different." "Your risk of Long COVID increases with each infection, so I'm doing what I can to avoid getting it." "I hear that in your experience, a COVID infection hasn't been a big deal. Unfortunately not everyone is so lucky and many are dealing with significant Long COVID symptoms."

"You're young and healthy, you'll be fine/ only the vulnerable need to worry."

"I used to think the same thing! It turns out I have some underlying risk factors that mean an infection could be very harmful to me." "Everyone is at risk of Long COVID, and your risk increases with each infection." "You cannot know someone's health status by looking at them. A lot of young people are high risk as well." "I don't appreciate you making assumptions about my health status." "Did you know more than 75% of Americans have at least one risk factor? More than 40% have two or more, and almost 20% have three or more! Being high risk is more common than you think." "There are actually a lot of factors that can make someone high risk, like a history of smoking, depression, asthma, ADHD, and more!"

"Kids don't get COVID/it's mild for kids."

"Unfortunately many studies show that rates of Long COVID in kids is similar to the rates in adults." "COVID is the 8th leading cause of death in children in the US." "Kids can be high risk for COVID, like if they have asthma, ADHD, autism, diabetes, or other common health issues." "Kids don't deserve to be repeatedly infected with an illness that we know causes long term damage." "I'd encourage you to read some of the stories about kids with Long COVID, it's heartbreaking for them and their families."

"Long COVID is rare."

"I'm curious where you learned that, because that doesn't fit into my understanding of Long COVID." "Studies show rates around 20% of adults infected will go on to develop Long COVID, and many studies show higher rates. Your risk increases with each infection." "Even if you're right, I'm not willing to risk it." "Have you noticed an increase in weird symptoms or health issues in your circle? Fatigue, headaches, GI issues, stroke, heart attack, blood clots and a ton of other issues can all be caused by a COVID infection." "It's more common than you might think, there are over 200+ possible symptoms and it can look different in everyone."

"My doctor doesn't wear a mask."

"Yikes! How unfortunate your doctor isn't up to date on the science and isn't doing more to protect their patients." "It's too bad how many doctors don't stay up to date with important health information." "Doctors also used to smoke cigarettes in healthcare facilities and recommend them to patients. Just goes to show you doctors aren't always right." "The medical field scorned the doctor who recommended they start washing their hands... I'm seeing a lot of parallels here." "Unfortunately it can take many years for practices like these to become more mainstream."

[sebluvsmetal]

hello everyone. today is christmas for a lot of you, and even if you don't celebrate the event, happy holidays! i hope you're all doing great.

this year has honestly been one hell of a ride for me. although i've mostly been inactive, i'm glad to have you guys with me.

to celebrate the festivities, i've prepared a gift for you ♥️

CONTENT WARNING: kidnapping, attempts of poisoning, violent tendencies from the character, sudden mood swings, suggestive dialogue, profanity, obsession, possessiveness, overall creepy and obsessive behavior

ENGEL

Pairing: König x Reader Oneshot

“Liebling,” König calls out to you sweetly. “Can you get me some cough syrup?”

“No.” You denied emptily, simply staring at your captor’s large, shaking form that racked with violent coughs.

“Bitte?” He asks one more time, before you let out a disappointed sigh and give in.

“I hope you die.” You whisper under your breath, gritting your teeth.

“What was that, engel?” König asked, tilting his head and coughing once again.

“Nothing.” 

“I heard you,” He says, voice dropping an octave. “But since I’m sick, I’ll let that slide for now.” König says intimidatingly, coughing and sniffling as he sits in his bed, awaiting your return with the medicine.

You grab an expired bottle of cough syrup, analyzing the date as you pour it onto the spoon with a small smirk. You walk back to his room, each step echoing in the walls of the prison he called his home.

“Here,” You gently place the spoon filled with the liquid in front of him.

“Thank you.” König says, strangely different from his usually polite ‘danke’, as he grabs your wrist lovingly and nearly sips from it, before halting his movements completely and laughing.

“You think I don’t know?” He speaks calmly after fits of laughter.

“About… what?” You tilt your head in false curiosity.

Suddenly, König grabbed your hair and pulled your head towards his body, shaking uncontrollably with anger. The spoon dropped from your hands and the liquid spilled all over his blankets, creating a mess on the white sheets.

“Don’t attempt to act all innocent after trying to hurt me, darling,” He tightens his grip on your hair strands as you let out a pathetic whimper. “I see your every movement. I hear your thoughts. I know you, engel. Because you are mine and mine alone.” He whispers intimidatingly into your ear before letting go and smiling once again, suddenly changing moods like a light switch flicking back on. He coughed a few times before gently patting your hair.

“Oh, my lovely,” He cooed. “Would you mind getting me a new spoon?” He asked kindly, passing you the dirty spoon.

You grabbed the spoon and bolted out of König’s room in fear, obediently doing as he said and bringing him the utensil with the correct dosage.

You silently pass it to your captor and wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to keep yourself safe.

He lifts his black hood, sniffing the cough syrup and the spoon before deciding it was safe to consume. He clumsily pours some onto the sheets by accident, as his eyes widen and he looks up at you helplessly.

“Liebling,” He sniffles softly. “Can you please help me?” König mutters in between coughs, lifting the sheets to reveal his gray sweatpants, the crotch area covered in a liquid you certainly did not want to ask about.

He caught you staring, smirking as he looked down at his crotch and flickered his gaze back up to you. “Do you–” 

“No, no, no, no, no. Don’t even talk about it.” You cut him off and plead with him fearfully, as he ignores your words and says something even worse.

“I was thinking of you, liebe.”

Your eyes widened as your stomach dropped. You felt the need to escape.

You swiftly ran out of the man’s room and went to the bathroom, trying to find anything he might have hidden to help you escape the horrid prison.

You sunk onto the floor tiles and pulled your knees to your chest, disgusted and horrified.

“Prinzessin!” You hear him call out from his room as a heavy feeling of dread fills you.

You hear heavy and quick footsteps erupt from the hallway as you notice König standing there in those tight, gray sweatpants that revealed his rather… prevalent bulge.

“Prinzessin! Bitte verzeih mir!” He begs desperately, coughing and kneeling down to meet your empty gaze.

“Let me go.” You demand softly with a shaky voice and glossy eyes.

“I hate you.” You speak louder this time, as his eyes darken and seem sad and teary from under the dark hood obscuring his face.

“Liebling, you don’t understand how much I love you,” He pauses, raising his hand to caress your cheek. “Please just love me. I’ve been working so hard for you to see me the same way I see you.”

You push König away and run past him to reach the main door. You ram yourself into it only to hurt yourself, but you continue your attempts to escape only for your smaller form to be held back by your captor.

“M-My sweet,” He addresses you in between sniffles. “Don’t hurt yourse–”

“Help! Please hel–” A large hand wraps itself around your mouth, as he shushes you softly.

“Shhh… shh. We don’t want to disturb our neighbors.” He tells you, patting your head as tears escape your eyes and you have nothing to do except cry about it.

You continue to resist and thrash around in his grip, before you decide not to waste any more of your energy and pretend to go somewhat limp in König’s arms.

He lets go and you run for the door once more, before his arms rush to your waist and keep you still. Your captor pulls you toward himself and lifts you with ease despite his sickness, as you shriek and beg him to put you down.

“König!” You call out his name in surprise. “Let me go! Put me down! Aargh!” You shout in frustration, hitting his back as hard as you could as he continues walking, completely unaffected by your violent movement.

He sets you down on your knees in the room you were in when he first kidnapped you.

‘Oh shit, oh shit, oh fuck–’ You curse in your head, eyes darting around violently as your breath quickens. You panic and apologize profusely to the coughing man, who seemed to be dead set on keeping you there.

“No, no, no! Please, I’m sorry! Please let me go!” You cry out in desperation as he remains silent and brooding, staring right at you and grabbing your wrists.

“Stay. Still.” He commands, as you simply comply and sob pathetically.

“I-I’m so sorry, König, please just don’t put me here again!”

“I love your voice,” he speaks softly in between sniffles, wrapping a hand around your throat and gently squeezing.

You whimper as his large hand covers your entire face and he squishes your cheeks with his thumb and his pinky.

“Your pretty little face,” he whispers into your ear, before backing off to cough.

“Your beautiful body,” he says as his hands travel down your shoulders to your waist, settling on your hips.

“I love everything about you, engel. You are heaven-sent.” König says dreamily as he grips your thighs and shifts closer to you, his pupils dilating the longer he stares at you. You hear his labored breaths and sick wheezes as he coughs under his hand.

“I love you so much.” König utters softly and genuinely whilst sniffling, as he leaves a kiss on your forehead through the hood.

He lifts his hood and leans into your lips as you slowly back away, before a knock erupts from the main door. He grabs a gag from the side, muffling your noises as he exits the room silently, locking the door.

“Hello, yes?” You can hear his voice from the room as he answers politely, coughing immediately after.

“Oh my, are you okay?” The neighbor’s voice asks worriedly.

“Yeah, yeah, just a little sick.” He assures her in that Austrian accent before sneezing.

“Uh, I heard someone ask for help from here? Is everything alri–”

“Help!” You attempted to scream, although it was muffled and your efforts proved futile as their conversation continued.

“Yes.” He interrupts the old neighbor before she could complete her sentence. He clears his throat before reasoning, “I was just… watching a movie and I forgot to turn the volume down.”

“Oh… Uh, sorry for disturbing you.” The neighbor apologizes sincerely. “Just wanted to check in.”

“No! Don’t leave!” You try to say once again, but the gag in your mouth hinders you from making any intelligible noise.

“Mhm,” König replies and shuts the door loudly, locking it and letting out a loud groan. You hear his footsteps approach the room before he sneezes loudly.

“Ugh…”

He opens the door and sniffles, using his hood’s fabric to wipe it off.

“Liebling,” he says gently, as if coaxing an anxious animal. He walks toward you slowly, as you watch in panic and horror whilst thinking of what he might do.

“Be obedient and I will let you go soon.”

At the promise of your freedom, your eyes widen and you nod immediately.

“That means– Don’t struggle. Act like my lover, will you?” He asks desperately.

At that, you hesitantly nod.

He slowly takes off your gag and your restraints, carefully observing your every move in case you escape.

“There you go,” he mumbles to you as he gently touches your sensitive wrists. König coughs and helps you up, his eyes crinkling underneath the hood in what you assumed to be a smile.

“As soon as I am better, I will let you go. Okay?” He says sincerely, sniffling and rubbing his eyes from under the hood.

You simply nod in compliance and give him a smile. “Thank you for finally letting me go.”

“Yes…” He says creepily, eyes wide and unblinking. “Yes, yes, yes. No problem. Just help me get over this sickness, hm?” He says as he coughs and dramatically falls on the floor, creating a loud thump.

“Will you help me, liebe?” König looks up at you with puppy eyes, as you sigh and grab his gloved hands, dragging him to his room.

He sneezes and shakes his head.

“No, not like that!” He exclaims loudly. “Help me walk to my room, please?”

“Ugh… Fine.” You lift his mass up and wrap his arm around your neck.

“Yes… Like that.” He breathes out in relief, coughing loudly. You roll your eyes and toss him onto the bed.

“Oh! What are you gonna do to me, liebling?” He asks seductively, as you silently exit the room, his voice calling out for you.

“Hey, hey, hey! Engel, no! Please come back!” König whines desperately, coughing as he did so. You pause in your steps, turning around and standing at the side of his bed.

“What do you want?”

He pulls you into his bed and snuggles into you, as you shriek in surprise and he mutters stuff you certainly didn’t want to hear about.

“Guh! What the fuck?!”

“I love you, love you sooo much, liebling. Jus’ wanna smother you in kisses and cuddle you every day and fuck you dumb every night.”

You simply stay silent as your face paled in horror.

He probably wasn’t going to let you go at all.

MASTERLIST *the first image above is not mine. i'm so sorry if this seems rushed btw hjdf

[nonclassyparty]

HI BREE! u have anything new tthat u would be willing to show us that u've been working on?👉👈🥺 (don't be thinking u have to but i'm just saying....IF U WANT TOOOOO C:)

(the last teaser for 'seasons out of time' bc i'm actually very excited for u guys to read it i'm enjoying writing it a lot!, coming july 10th hopefully!)

You don't go to his apartment the next morning, if anyone asks you'd say you were running around doing the remaining errands for the birthday party held at Delirium tomorrow night which is not false. 

You've purposefully tired yourself out and kept busy, doing things you maybe didn't even need to do like walking to the flower shop to ask in person if the arrangements were set for tomorrow.

Usually, you would follow San around like a lost puppy, do what he tells you to do and mark stuff off your list from the stupid notebook but today, you barely got out of bed and while you were brushing your teeth, you contemplated just quitting your job,

But, real life responsibilities don't give a fuck if you're a little bit in love with your boss' young lover because you have bills to pay, specifically your mother's hospital bills and then you feel so fucking selfish and ashamed that while you were fucking around and having silly rendezvous with a boy, your mom was laying in a hospital bed.

You need this job.

And pathetically enough, you need Choi San as well. 

You never felt like you needed anyone apart from your mom but here you are now, needing a man with whom your relationship already has an expiration date.

In the late afternoon, after an entire day of running around the city, you finally enter the staff room of Delirium.

You try not to pay attention to the way San straightens out in his seat next to Seonghwa once you walk in, greeting everyone in the room quietly and putting your stuff down.

You can hear him murmur something to Seonghwa before standing up from the couch while you take out your notebook and phone to have it on standby.

"Y/N, I need to talk to you about the decorations." San's clipped voice makes you pause in your actions and you slowly turn around to face him but he's already walking past you and waiting by the door.

You give one last glance to everyone in the room before you follow after him.

He leads you to the smaller staff room where you sometimes hide, it became somewhat of a safe space for San and you in these last couple of weeks as you spent a lot of time there together so you could be alone.

Once you enter, you open your mouth to ask what was wrong with the decorations but it slams shut once his fingers wrap gently around your wrist.

"Hey, hey..." He softly calls out and your heart squeezes at how different he sounds when he's with you alone.

You turn to face him, blinking up at him in question as your nails dig into the cover of the notebook from the nerves.

San's eyes roam your face but when you remain stoic, he lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry. About yesterday...that...that was so fucking awful, you didn't deserve that. I'm so sorry, I had no idea she would be stopping b-"

"It's fine." You interrupt the apology mostly because you'd rather gauge out your own eyes than hear San talk about her.

Or how he most definitely plans which days he'll be with her so he can't be with you.

He seems stumped for a moment, brows furrowing in faint frustration before he opens his mouth, "It's not fine, Y/N, that wasn't okay at all-"

"Yeah, well, what can you do, right?" You ask with a forced chuckle, trying to lighten up the situation. With the fake smile intact, you ask the question that's been weighing on you since yesterday. "Do...do you want to stop?"

San seems to grow even more confused, "Stop what?..." His brows raise as he motions between the two of you, "You and I?"

At your nod, he looks at you like you are crazy. "No, of course not."

Your heart squeezes again. "Then it's fine."

Because you may not know how you ended up in this entanglement with San or what the extent of your relationship is but you do know that he was with Do Jihyun years before you came along, asking him for anything else would be ludicrous because you know the answer. You've only kissed him for the first time last month, he wouldn't choose you just yet. If ever.

So you will continue to put yourself through more humiliation and you guess it's because you love him. 

You think you have loved people before, but you have never felt like this and never have you wanted someone to love you back as much as you want San to and it hurts. You know you might be reading too much into things and seeing signs where there is nothing to see and at one point,  you won't know where the line between wishful thinking and the honest truth lies.

But, you hope there is still some time until that moment comes.

"I understand, San. So don't worry, it's fine." You nod but the fake smile dims even more as your eyes catch onto the reddish bruise blossoming at the side of his neck and you have to blink rapidly as your eyes start to burn.

He notices your gaze and quickly adjusts his shirt, covering up the hickey and visibly growing more uncomfortable.

You clear your throat, the air in the small, stuffy room growing awkward.

"It's not the same." San says quietly and now it's your turn to be confused. He swallows, avoiding your eyes before his lips part again, "With you and me and...me and her, it's not the same."

You quirk an eyebrow, bitterness that has no business being there towards San surfacing. "How so?"

He almost seems shy, cheeks tinting pink as he tugs at his shirt tucked into his pants. "With you it's...I don't know how to explain this," He mutters, chuckling under his breath, "It's...not just physical, r-right? It's not just about the sex, there's something here, right? It's like...dating? I've never dated anyone before but I imagine it to be similar to what I have with you."

...what I have with you.

Blood rushes to your cheeks immediately and you adjust your gaze somewhere else, shifting on your feet as you grow shy as well as you mull over his response. You feel a pang in your chest, wishful thinking taking over once again and faintly imagining a life where you and San were both college students or something or...just free. A life where the two of you were not the people that you actually are.

You've never dated anyone either.

It shatters when he continues.

"With her...it's..."

You frown, looking back up to him, "Are you in love with her?"

"No." San answers instantly with a chuckle, as if the idea is ridiculous although in your head it really isn't. Do Jihyun is a stunning, successful woman. Who wouldn't want that?

"Then what? Is it...a job?" You offer, finding the term 'job' wrong to say. It makes San seem like a...

"No, not a job." He denies quietly, gaze focusing downwards, "I'm a...possession. A plaything to use and parade around behind her husband's back when she gets bored of him. Until she gets bored of me."

"Then you should just leave."

San chuckles, this time he's the one to sound bitter. "You say it like it's so easy but I expected you of all people to understand that it's not."

You frown at that and when he takes sight of your face, he explains. San nods to the notebook in your hand. "I was looking through your notebook last week trying to find the number of the catering service. Saw a hospital bill between the pages."

Your face smooths out at that as you take a step back.

"You don't have to tell me anything but Y/N, if you don't like how it is here then you can just leave." The words are like spiky ice through your heart. You don't know if he understands how much that stung. "You can't because you have your reason as to why you choose to stay that has very little to do with me. I have my reasons, as well."

"I'm doing my best." You defend yourself quietly.

"You're not the only one. So is everyone else."

Then you see it.

If you strip away the fancy clothes, strip him of the nightclub, of the galas and dinners, of the endless nights of decadence...what is exactly left?

Just pure, raw misery.

He is miserable.

In June, you learn that San and you aren't so different after all. 

[shroomgal]

When is the expiration date on 'Just Being A Girl'?

I am 22 years old. I've been through a LOT of men, a LOT of drama, a LOT of trauma, AND A LOT of clothes. Being a girl to me is these feminine qualities I have that I love to express. Being self made, freely expressing myself, being loud and extroverted and a little slutty when I drink, those qualities can be found in anyone but I see them more as MY feminine qualities so to me, they are feminine. I also have some stereotypical girl qualities, like shopping,fashion, makeup, my hair, my style and all that. I embrace these traditional girly qualities though. (They're part of what makes me, me!!!!!) In regards to women, I hear the expression now that "I am just a girl," in response to any of my female friends doing something they perceive as bad. But this expression has me wondering,

When do we cross the line of just being a girl and just being incorrect?

I've seen this response to a lot of situations. Some I agree with, others I could maybe wish i didn't hear. All in all, it really just depends on the situation in my opinion. Spending too much money at the thrift? I'm just a girl! Buying yourself a nice lipstick as a treat? I'm just a girl! But this line gets crossed I feel as we are hurting other women in the process of 'just being a girl.' Making fun of someone for the way they look is NOT just being a girl. (And no, idc if they have animal ears on.) These wannabe girls girls will praise the idea of just being a typical girl and looking out for other women.... until the woman doesn't dress right or wear the right makeup or maybe they're fat or maybe they're ugly IT DOES NOT MATTER!!!!!!!! You need to fit into a box for them to accept you as a woman. These specific girls I am talking about will rip you apart and blame it on their typical girl behavior. It makes me sad because as women we should be looking out for each other, not contributing to the problem!!

Girlhood is about community, passion, love, and looking out for each other unless provoked to do otherwise. It hurts me to watch so many young insecure girls go after other young insecure girls to cheer themselves up for 5 minutes. Where did the sense of community go? Where are the girls who just want to vibe and smoke and talk about what they have in common?? Nobody is willing to meet new kinds of people nowadays and everyone is afraid of difference I think.

So with that, I think being a girl is a timeless activity, just watch out for people who use that as an excuse to be a bitch. And if you are a bitch to other girls unprovoked.. listen up!!! Hating like a man might win you a shitty boyfriend but having a community of girls you can trust and who accept you is more fulfilling than a man could EVER be. We are girls, and we should be watching out for other girls because you never know who could really need community like that.

I ask you all to compliment one girl this week. It could make their day!

[f0point5]

Look this may be a hot take…but it annoys me that Charles is considered the “face of f1” when he has had the season he has. Like at least with Lewis’s PR kick he could back it up on the track. But I feel like Charles’ push with all this PR is to compensate for his results. Then we have Max who is absolutely dominating week after week, won the Constructor’s all by himself, getting blamed for “ruining the sport” because he…wins. That’s his literal job. The other teams need to improve, that’s not his problem.

My friends just assume Charles is number 1 because they see his face everywhere. And everyone, week after week, bemoans about how sorry they feel for Charles and how evil Ferrari is all to blame, and while I agree to a certain extent that the Ferrari team have been bloody incompetent this year, I also think the pre-destined one has not quite lived up to the expectations. And most prob won’t. Max has already achieved so much and I feel like Charles is still right at the very start. Except it’s not really Charles and Max going for it anymore. Charles will have to contend with other rookies who I feel are more likely to come out on top.

And I know there is nothing really wrong with PR and branding and whatever, but Max is so passionate about this sport (and clearly currently the best at it) and it is unfair that somehow he will always be considered less by the public then the one’s with a pretty face.

Mmm. I have thoughts.

I think at the end of the day, Max has been very clear that he has no interest in being the face of F1. Max is passionate about racing but I don’t think he is that passionate about the direction F1 is heading, and I don’t think he wants to be a celebrity. The media he engages in is RB media, the bare minimum is sponsor marketing, and top tier media like Time Magazine which you can’t really say no to. Max could easily be seen at basketball/sports games or out at events but he obviously doesn’t want that. So I don’t think it’s like Charles has become the face of F1 as opposed to Max. The crown on “face of their F1 generation” was kind of in the gutter and Charles picked it up, Max doesn’t want it. I don’t think Charles and Max are in competition for anything at the moment, not sponsorships, not race wins, not PR opportunities, they’re on such different trajectories they don’t need to be in the same conversation.

I don’t think Charles is compensating for his results but my *theory* is that he’s realising he may not be able to capitalise on his results in the long term and having a brand image that relies less on Ferrari and the “chosen one” brand is probably a good move. Because Il Predestinato is now a) a Ferrari dependent brand and b) a brand with an expiration date because no one is going to be taking that brand seriously by 2027 if he’s still racing in the upper midfield. So it’s more, he’s pivoting to a broader image for longevity, which is smart.

As for people hating on Max and Red Bull for being good…idk that it really matters. Those guys love what they do and they get to sit regardless of people’s opinions. It’s myopic to think that the people doing their job well are the people that should be penalised rather than the people consistently failing but honestly, society hates winners. People who’ve got time to have Twitter wars over people they don’t know? They REALLY hate winners because they know they’ll never be one. It’s sad but it’s funny.