#but it’s actually a lot more fun and rewarding than I remember I wanna get back into it

[llumimoon]

Super duper silly and sketchy gif I made of Normal when trying out animation for the first timeish <33

[deerspherestudios]

I’m super curious about Atom!!!! Firstly, they’re so cute :(((( I would be so nice to them right off the bat. I could match that energy (maybe not the…liquefying people part, but I can Definitely meet the upbeat “get to know you” energy!!!!)

But I’m also curious about their little “worm transform-y” ability. There are a TON of implications to what they said about it, and I’m very interested to know which of those implications are true

So maybe I’m taking Atom too literally, but I’m pretty sure at one point they said “I can make your air.” Which, they WOULD need to make MC air, if they were to keep you in space forever. Air is limited.

But you can’t breathe in worms. So that means Atom’s worm (body?) transformation legitimately BECOMES whatever they will it to. Not just imitates. That dog food wasn’t worms, it was dog food. And the air isn’t worms, it’s air!!

And then that stretches into other questions. Could Atom take any form they wish? What would happen if they transformed all their worms? Can they feel when their worms (body??) are being transformed?

You don’t have to answer that slew of questions at the end lmao—maybe I’m reading too much into it. But!! I LOVE Atom and all the implications that their existence holds. I had a lot of fun playing the game :DD

Aaa I'm really glad you like Atom as much as you do!! I don't know if it's just new blorbo energy but I get excited to talk about them, especially in detail like this haha! I'll try to explain below the cut about their ability to create things (tw// it's long!!) but to keep it short, you're actually correct!

TLDR: Atom reconstructs their worms into different forms of matter (whether solid/liquid/gas) to produce whatever you need to survive. Because, uh,,, science. <3

Here's the lengthy explanation of what Atom can do. I'm not smart enough to explain it but I'm stealing this from another website:

Transmutation or nuclear transmutation is a process that involves a change in the nucleus of an atom. When the number of protons in the nucleus of an atom changes, the identity of that atom changes as it is turned into another element or isotope.[1] This transmutation process can be either natural or artificial.

Simplifying it further for my character, when Atom talks about being better than a planet, they kinda are! They can make anything as long as they know what it is (I've yet to come up with 'how' they discover new elements,,, it's implied in-game but I wanna flesh it out more; ask me again later keheh), and the worms that make them up is an unlimited resource/material for those exact transmutations. And if something turns into waste, like the rejected dog food, they just crunch them up to be re-used all over again.

Remember what they said about being your 'angel'? Not to be too on the nose but in a way they turned the Bidadari into your own personal terrarium, with it being the ecosystem keeping you alive in space. Which, in my personal opinion, makes the ending much more terrifying.

Here's a lightning round to answer your questions because I don't know when I'll get these kinds of questions again!!

Could Atom take any form they wish?

Nope! They're still just worms! When they 'make' something it's no longer a part of them.

2. What would happen if they transformed all their worms?

Highly unlikely to happen, but let's say for experimentation's sake Atom is forced to use up all their worms and the end result is separated from it so they can't absorb it back into themselves like the dog food. It has to leave one single organism behind, but it can't really do anything. That single organism eventually will multiply all the way back to its former (mass wriggling) glory.

3. Can they feel when their worms (body??) are being transformed?

Nope! They don't really feel anything, at the most they feel pressure and temperature changes but that's it.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TEDTALK HAVE A NICE DAY! HERE'S YOUR REWARD <3

[froggibus]

i really love how you write the obey me characters, i feel like theyre so in character and i appreciate that a lot! If i may, can i request headcanons of the brothers on how they help Mc stay hydrated? lol Especially now that it’s summer and drinking water is more important than ever. I feel like they would all have their own way of doing so.

thank you :-)

The Hydration Situation - Obey Me! Brothers

Genre: fluff/crack

CW: dehydration + effects of dehydration, lots of water drinking, kinda protective! brothers, Beel/Satan/Asmo are the only ones who understand hydration, slightly overbearing brothers, Levi is a weeb, reader kinda = MC

that is so kind, it’s really nice to hear you enjoy it!! summer writing has me in a CHOKEHOLD right now so I’d absolutely love to do this for you! thanks for the req & hope you enjoy 💓 also the title kinda sounds like a big bang theory episode lol

Lucifer:

he has some…interesting ways to make you stay hydrated

obviously he starts with the easy ones/what works on his brothers

he will make it more easily accessible, maybe buy you a cute water bottle & some stickers to decorate it

also will remind you CONSTANTLY

but if that doesn’t work, he’s going to Pavlov you (esp if you respond well to praise)

anytime he sees you drinking water, he’ll reward you (stickers, praise, snacks)

anytime you forget, he gives you a disappointed sigh (usually reserved for Mammon) and makes it well known that he’s upset

(spoiler: he never actually is)

if you ever complain about a headache, muscle cramps etc it’s SO over

the first question he’s asking is if you’ve drank enough water, followed by him asking you why you haven’t drank enough water

he WILL make you sit in his office with him while he does paperwork and monitor your water intake

until you’ve drank enough for the time of day & staved off the incoming effects of dehydration, you’re not leaving

(Levi begrudgingly partners with Mammon to try to rescue you, which just ends up with all three of you being locked in his office and forced to drink water)

Mammon:

he himself is not the best at remembering to drink water

however Satan told him some fun (read: unfun) facts about humans and dehydration that have made him paranoid for life

he’s absolutely convinced you’re going to drop dead on the spot of you forget your water for even an hour (very funny to watch)

this leads to him always carrying water for you in his bag and car like a worried mom, and setting alarms for himself to remind you

probably keeps an entire case of water bottles in the mini fridge in his room just so he can always have one on hand

however don’t you dare question why or else you’ll get a lecture :,)

“whaddya mean overbearing? d’ya wanna die or something? is that it? you’re my—our—human & it’s my—our—job to take care of ya”

whenever you guys go out to eat he’ll always force you to order a water and won’t let you get anything else (even juice) until you’re finished

accidentally ends up drinking more water himself, too

(also probably pavlovs himself into associating it with you)

despite how cheap he is, if you run out of water when you’re out and about, he will spend an absurd 5$ on a plastic water bottle for you

Levi:

again, definitely not the best at remembering his water

he lives off of Baja Blast or something (even tho he’s literally a sea creature)

he’s playing a game like Kenshi or Raft or something and realizes that humans are so fragile they’ll die without water

even tho he could technically research this he doesn’t and just lets himself panic spiral instead

decides that it’s now his responsibility to make sure you drink enough water and that he’s your protector

honestly it’s really sweet if a little dorky

trades out all his soda for water and Gatorade and when you ask about it he just says he’s ’being healthier’

feels super awkward when you praise him for that

whenever you come for your late night movie marathons he has a glass of water waiting for you (in some cool cup, no doubt)

he’ll offer you up some Gatorade if you finish and some ‘healthy’ snacks like strawberry pocky (cause it totally has real strawberry in it)

feels super happy and proud of himself that he’s helping you get better and staving off the effects of dehydration

probably forces you to wear a dorky matching bucket hat anytime you go outside

“it’s hot out! you need water and shelter or it’s game over”

??

Satan:

the least but also the most overbearing ever

read about it in some book about humans in the summertime and he’s been worried about it ever since

buys a notebook (that he lets you decorate) that he keeps a little water log in

he’ll colour in squares every time you meet your hourly water goal and (unbeknownst to you) he’ll give you a sticker at the end of the day if you meet it

you’re a little confused but who doesn’t love a free sticker?

super big stickler about sun protection too—if you try to leave the house without some SPF and a hat, he’s dragging you back inside until you agree to

you don’t really notice or care that much when he’s suddenly following you around with a journal everywhere—you just assume it’s one of his experiments

let’s it ‘slip’ to the other brothers so that they can watch over you whenever he’s not around (which just results in all of them panicking oops)

if the temp outside reaches above like 30c/90f, he won’t let you leave without a water bottle and some sort of sports drink

though he’ll really just find someway to coax you into the house

“there’s this new book I got in a lot online and I couldn’t help but notice it was also on your wishlist…care to take it off my hands?”

he thinks he’s slick… but also it works lol

you two end up spending most of the hot days inside, cozied up in the air conditioning of his room reading books

Asmo:

probably the only one who’s made you drink water outside of the summer months

he’s a stickler for hydration so anytime you’re hanging out, he’s always serving up some sort of new fancy water

has a little mini fridge of it like Chopped Leaf

watermelon, cucumber, charcoal, coconut—you name it

he lets you be for the most part, but if it’s a particularly hot day or he notices your skin and hair are looking a little dull, he’ll step in

does something lowkey, like a self care day

he’ll pamper you as a distraction to keep slipping you glasses of water, and by the end of the day, you’re back to your usual glowy self

he has a little app on his phone to track his water intake and probably has an extra little profile for you on it

the only one aside from Satan who also realizes you need electrolytes and vitamins in addition to the water

(meanwhile the other brothers have just been flushing all the nutrients out of you 😭)

don’t worry, he has an insane vitamin collection to make up for it

keeps those Alani Nu energy drinks around since they have collagen & stuff in them

also he’s like those people online who have like a crazy collection of different shapes/flavours of ice cubes

if you’re particularly sick or dehydrated, he’ll make a fun little game out of it by setting up a water bar or something for the two of you

it’s really sweet, honestly

Beel:

as a football player, he knows how important it is to stay hydrated

probably didn’t realize just how fragile humans are until you get woozy and delirious while playing football outside

he’s super worried but keeps it together and does a little research on his DDD

shows you where he keeps his secret stash of water, sports drinks & energy drinks

totally gives you a free pass to have any that you want too

after that, he’s watching you like a hawk

he’ll subconsciously time you and if you haven’t drank water in a while, he’ll give you a gentle reminder to

ends up getting you a water bottle (maybe one that matches his sports one ^^) just so that you’ll remember

like Mammon he keeps water on him at all times so that you can both stay hydrated

during your midnight snack runs, he won’t share with you until you drink a big cup of water (sometimes more if you’re having something salty!!)

he also has those flavoured electrolyte packets to make it a little more fun for you if you need it

or if it’s just very, very hot outside

he’ll make you a fun little glass of water and maybe even garnish it with an umbrella like a cocktail

also makes you eat lots of hydrating foods!! watermelon & cucumber are big ones for him, maybe celery and grapes too

he’ll make a little platter for you guys to share

Belphie:

I do not believe this man drinks water I’m sorry

didn’t care much at first about your water intake but when he notices you getting a little run down, he steps it up

makes sure to keep an extra glass of water on his nightstand for you whenever you come to nap or play games with him

sets alarms so he can wake up between naps and check on you

although he’ll just lazily text “water?” to you most of the time

and you just respond with a thumbs up emoji or something

probably finds those ‘sleepy mocktails’ online or something and makes you them before bed

like the magnesium cranberry juice ones

steals from Beel’s secret stash for you

probably has a secret mini fridge in one of his nightstands and stocks it up with extra water for you

on particularly hot nights (esp if you’re sweating a lot) he might wake you up so you can take a few sips of water

cause nothing is worse than waking up all achy with a dry throat and nose

making you drink more water kinda forces him to drink more water too

Asmo is absolutely seething with envy at how shiny Belphie’s skin and hair get

(this summer becomes known as the summer MC pees a million times lol)

masterlist | obey me masterlist

(if you enjoy content like this, interactions go a long way! comments, likes & rbs are always greatly appreciated ^-^ !!)

[leog4u]

Game Design and Porn Pt. 1

or, How To Fuck Up The Best Intrinsic Reward Ever

Hi, I'm Leo G, veteran pervert. One time while chatting in a server exclusively made of porn artists, I brought up the game design of a porn game I enjoyed. One of them laughed, saying "Who cares, it's just a porn game?" Being unwell, I never let this go. Since then, I have played many adult games and took each one as serious products made by professionals. Fast forward to today, and the demo for my porn game, Joker's Trip, is nearing completion. I also have some sci-fi erotica you should check out.

So you wanna make a porn game. You heard they make money, and hey what’s more fun than making a video game AND porn? But you don’t know where to begin! Well don’t worry, Leo’s got you covered. We’re gonna walk through the line of thinking you should have when designing your porn game. There's gonna be at least three parts to this, with part 1 focusing on how to reward your player.

Define "porn game" for me, Leo.

There are porn games, and then games with porn in them. A porn game is a game where you won’t last 5 minutes, where everything exists solely to meet and, subsequently, fuck. A game with porn in it is a game where everything exists for the purpose of the game, and also, you fuck. Fate Stay Night, for example, is a VN with a story that just so happens to have some CGs where the protagonist rails Saber, but is mainly about Shirou and the Holy Grail War. Much like how I would call Castlevania a game with horror in it, but not a horror game.

Porn games are a lot like horror games. They both get a bad rap for being cheap to make, appealing to base instincts, and generally being low quality. They're also both not actual genres of games, but genres of content. Think about it, if I asked you what a horror game is, you'd say a game that's scary. But what's the actual game part? The unfortunate answer would most likely be "walking sim," but there are a lot of examples that are FPSes, puzzles, driving sims, platformers, deck builders, the list goes on.

The most common genres of game I see for porn games these days are by far RPG Maker RPGs and VNs. I won’t be talking about VNs because they’re closer to writing than game design, which isn’t a flaw but a feature. What used to be everywhere, in days of old, were breakout games, where the more bricks and levels were cleared, the more of the sexy image would be revealed in the background. Other arcadey type deals like shoot ‘em ups and mahjong were also around, and had a similar “strip ‘em down until you have sex” gameplay loop.

Okay, so what’s an intrinsic reward?

There’s intrinsic rewards, and there're extrinsic rewards. Extrinsic rewards, generally, are the number go up rewards. Things that make your character stronger, or give you more resources to buy new gear or whatever. Intrinsic rewards in games can cover a large swathe of things. It can be the feeling of satisfaction of completing a puzzle, a piece of lore or world building, or a new dialogue option with a character you want to fuck.

I like fucking characters, are we talking about porn now?

Yes! I’m of the opinion that you literally can’t make a better intrinsic reward than pornography. On top of setting the tone for the entirety of the game., at its best it can add to a story, add to someone’s character development, or be a beautiful piece of art to look at. AND you can jack off to it! Unfortunately, that’s at its best. Let’s talk about how porn is delivered in a theoretical RPG porn game. (As a head’s up, there will be talk of “bad end” scenes, but this is under the assumption that the player is the one consenting.)

So you’re playing an RPG and get into a fight. Maybe you were underleveled or too cumbrained to remember to buy healing potions. Then your HP goes to zero, and instead of going back to the title screen, you’re getting fucked by orcs. That’s right, let’s talk about Game Over CGs.

You get to watch porn when you lose?

To someone making a porn game with a battle system, this delivery method makes sense. The characters in this world are driven primarily by lust, this is just the obvious conclusion. And it doesn’t even have to be non-consensual! Games like Future Fragments show that it can be presented as a sexy inconvenience rather than anything uncomfortable for the player or our hero. Game Over CGs even have the benefit of softening the blow of defeat, by giving the player a chance to reflect on their defeat and jerk off. Even better if losing a fight isn’t lost progress, but rather a bump in the road. However, there’s a problem here. The player is a dog, and we’re rewarding bad behavior.

The porn is an intrinsic reward, so why are we giving it to the player for losing? Incentivizing losing on purpose isn’t just bad game design, but a waste of time. And to that end, a lot of porn games try to give solutions to this. One being a kill button on the keyboard or a skill that instantly KOs our hero to get to the lose screen faster. What might seem like a convenience is really just expediting failure.

What it says is that the gameplay doesn’t actually matter. You’re just here for the porn, right? In that case there’s plenty of places I can go to see a chick with huge knockers get railed by an orc, with the added bonus of not having to play forgettable and mid turn based combat!

Another solution I’ve seen is the game outright telling you, “hey don’t bother killing yourself to see the porn. Once you beat the game all of the scenes you missed will be unlocked!” At first this seems like a reasonable way to go about it, but it comes with another problem: your game better be fucking good to make me play through the entire thing before getting to see cock. Like I said earlier, porn at its best can reveal things about the world and drive character development. I uh. Just beat the game. I don’t care anymore. Showing me a scene that’s taken out of context by a factor of 5 hours or more isn’t what I’d call great game design or story telling. It’s also too little, too late.

What if we made the porn actual rewards?

Now we’re getting somewhere! Let’s make the reward…a reward! What if, every time the player beats a level, we get some porn? If we tie the CG to beating the boss, we’ll be tying the reward to game progression. That’s good right? So now, on top of the extrinsic rewards you’d normally get for beating a boss (a lot of EXP, better gear, opened areas) we also get that sweet dopamine rush of pornography! So we’re good, right?

There’s 1142 words left in this post, so I’m assuming no.

Well. It’s a start. It has the problem of predictability. If not handled properly, it comes off as lazy. As a game designer, one of your goals is to not constantly remind your player that they’re playing a video game. Get through the level, get porn. It feels a little too “mouse in a maze looking for cheese” for my taste. And much like the game over method, if the actual game itself is mid, the player will start to question if the reward is worth it, and might be afflicted with the worst condition a player could receive: boredom.

Of course there are exceptions. In puzzle or arcade type games where you don’t get extrinsic rewards, giving the player porn as another form of reward per level or whatever is perfectly reasonable (though it does have the issue of being predictable.) This is a perfectly good way of doing it if your game is short, or if the game is, y’know, good and fun to play. Bad Color’s game, Heroine Conquest, is a level based puzzle game with porn as the reward, but only when you do good. Combining the actual challenge of mastering the game, with a genuinely unique game loop makes for a feeling of accomplishment when beating a level. Pair that up with a sex cutscene, and the dopamine rush will hit.

So! Let’s combine giving the player a power trip, with a less rigid structure for giving the player porn. Instead of tying the porn to purely progression gates, let’s tie it to the progression.

Plot milestones

In Third Crisis, sex scenes are peppered throughout the regular game’s plot, starting with some lesbian bondage before introducing the protagonist, who goes through a tutorial before having their own horny encounters. It’s not just given when you win or lose, but is a natural part of the game. Beating bosses, losing to enemies, and exploring dialogue options in sidequests all lead to unlocking new CGs.

Now what’s nice about that, is that the sex isn’t placed somewhere extremely predictable. It isn’t just a reward for beating The Boss Of Forest Zone, Now Go To Ice Zone And Beat The Ice Boss For More Cock. Because that’s the biggest issue of predictable rewards, you know you’re not getting anything until that checkpoint, which will make the player weigh whether or not it’s even worth continuing. This is fine, again, for an arcade type game, not an RPG or adventure game. By sprinkling sex throughout the plot itself, the player will not only want to progress, but their curiosity will have them wondering “what else is out there?”

Rewarding exploration

By putting sex scenes behind optional side quests or encounters, the dog that is the player will scour every single corner of the map, and leave no pixel unturned. Personally, that’s more exciting to me than what you’ll get in the main progression route. In Future Fragments the player can find their rival Faye in sexual situations if they explore the map enough. These are completely optional, and don’t give any direct rewards like more HP or an item, but they’re by far what motivates me to explore the maps as thoroughly as possible, more so than the plot macguffins the game is named after!

So now the player is excited. Sex can happen anywhere. Maybe that daunting off road path with stronger monsters isn’t just hiding a secret, but a sexy secret! They’ll be more likely to venture down those optional paths you painstakingly made.

If we’re using sex in game overs, boss fights, and just randos, why not put it everywhere?

So now I want to talk about the concept of a “sex stat”. It’s not a bad idea! Say, the higher the player’s sex stat is, the more opportunities you unlock for fucking. It could even be tied to the player character’s personality, and affect the story! Instead of using a sword and shield, they’ll end any conflict with sass and sex. They open their eyes to the horny world around them and stop being a hero, and instead become a succubus, and the ending is a massive cum filled orgy.

That sounds excessive

Yeah, it does, doesn’t it.

I’m not a fan of “corruption” systems in porn games. Corruption as a kink is totally fine, and having it be a part of the story lets you incorporate more sexuality into the plot. But as I alluded to, it snowballs pretty fast (and I’m not talking about spitting in someone’s mouth). It ends up being like a cheat code, where you’re bypassing parts of the game for no cost. It stops being a reward, it stops being unexpected, and it stops it from being sexy.

Wait, what? Stops being sexy? What’s not sexy about a succubus orgy?

Alright, listen, we gotta rein it in for a minute. This isn’t so much about game design as it is about writing erotica, but if you have a world where everyone’s fucking and sucking 24/7, there’s no contrast to make what would normally be a hot taboo a hot taboo. If everybody’s naked, nobody’s naked. The aforementioned snowball effect of a corruption system can be seen if you play literally any game that has one. It won’t take long to not have to engage with any combat or adventuring system if you can just press the “Submit to the big dick warlock” button and watch porn to progress.

Which, now that I said that, is exactly the problem. Imagine any other rpg you’ve ever played. Now imagine if every encounter and dialogue option had an option to just watch a short cutscene to skip the encounter. That would suck ass, right? Literally no difference here.

It would. Hey, I’m sort of lost now.

Don’t worry, we’re wrapping this up.

So what did we learn? We learned game over CGs have a critical design flaw that shouldn’t be relied on. We learned that predictable rewards can lead to boredom. We learned to keep sex as a reward and not devalue it.

To summarize, here’s a neat trick to know where to put your porn scenes.

”Would I put an Xbox Live achievement here?”

It’s that easy. “Lose to Goblins for the first time,” that’s an achievement. “Beat orc commander,” that’s an achievement. “Find Hubert the Magical Dickhead,” that’s an achievement. Using that as a guideline is foolproof. Almost.

This sounds like it’d take a lot of resources

It sure does! But don’t worry. I’ll cover that in the next post talking all about how to deal with the resource management of a porn game.

(Shoutout to Taylor, my guy for editing!)

[genericpuff]

Do you know of anything similar to Stimuwrite for art? I've been struggling so much to draw my comics because ADHD is a bitch so honestly any advice you have would be great <3 obviously what works for one person might not for another but boy I'm so tired of just scrolling through tumblr trying to make myself draw and it just not happening

Ah, I wish I did! Honestly, for me it was just about building habits and routines. Considering how much time I spend at my desk anyways, I naturally gravitate to drawing comics when I've got spare time because it's right there anyways! But it's also gotta be something I'm actually really interested in making, because as the 'ole ADHD goes, if it doesn't generate the dopamine, the creating isn't gonna happen :'0 Even while working on Rekindled there are still loads of times where I'm like "BLEEEH I DON'T WANNA DO THISSSS" because as fun as it is to work on, it's still a lot of work! Fun doesn't always facilitate the focusing. And trying to force yourself to focus by cutting out everything else unfortunately just isn't a solution for everyone.

I find just tackling the work in small parts can help a lot. When I'm struggling with focusing on my work, I tell myself, "something is better than nothing". So I try to get at least one panel done, or one sketch, or just something that will feel a little less like nothing. It's okay if I don't get much done that day, because something is better than nothing. Over time that "something" can become more than just one panel or one sketch. It's a slow process but through practice and repetition you can build stronger and more efficient working routines that will keep you focused and get work done at a pace that works for you. But the key is to remember to rest also and forgive yourself for not getting "as much" work done as you did the day before, especially on those days where focusing is hard. Having ADHD makes it hard to think what you're doing is "enough" but even just getting a small drawing out or a single panel is enough, especially if you're just learning how to draw comics still or just starting out with a project that you're doing for yourself and whoever finds your work. Remind yourself of that always <3

And if anyone ever DOES find an app for focusing on art stuff similar to programs like StimuWrite, feel free to reblog with your suggestions!!! <3 I'm sure there's gotta be SOMETHING out there but there are none that I can recall or know of and it would be pretty dang sweet if there was.

Otherwise... make your own little reward systems where you can :' ) <3 (I like doing rounds of dungeon crawling in FF XIV in between panels LMAO)

[tgrailwar-zero]

... leaving aside the fact that some Servants have categorically, measurably better luck than others... do we even have enough cash to blow on gambling?

... is there a signup fee for the Flaming Bout or can we just put out hat in the ring?

.... Caster, Caster, dear beloved empress, why did you make me think about gambling- now I wanna test my luck... the slot machines are calling to me... the poker tables are calling to me... the roulette wheels- well maybe not the roulette wheels, but...

Rider, please be a voice of reason on this...

NERO: "I cannot relate to those urges that you and Saber seem to have. I only like games of chance if I win. Who wishes to lose money? Money is to be spent, not wasted."

CONSTANTINE: "I get the feeling there's no stopping you all. I'll watch the little one and wait in the lobby, maybe ask around. Don't spend too much in one place, like you said we don't know if there's an entrance fee yet. Just… be careful."

CONSTANTINE: "Not a bad idea. I'll see what I can find related to our Pharaoh, and keep the little one with me. I'd rather the child not get caught up in the gambling."

MUSASHI: "I'll keep them safe, okay?"

CONSTANTINE: "Oh, like it's just them I'm worried about? You stay out of trouble too, Saber."

With that, he stepped off on his own, taking the little guy by the hands.

(CONSTANTINE has temporarily left the party!)

She feigned a deep gasp, as if gravely offended.

MUSASHI: "I don't cheat, I strategize. And I'm better at swordfighting. Playing cards would be fun, but I probably couldn't pull a ton off without a plan first. Or... what's it they say in modern movies? 'Casing the joint'?"

That was about right. The voice matched up.

Your Assassin, OKADA IZOU...

ASSASSIN... he was surly, loyal to a fault, and had horrible gambling luck. Far from the most heroic of individuals, but he wasn't an unpleasant person to be around-- when he was in a good mood at least.

He was also notoriously bad at gambling, and yet notoriously obsessed with it, if your memory served you right.

Outside of the 'black box' prison, he had also died at the hands of KARNA after killing ASCLEPIUS, but considering those memories were much less clear, it was best to remember the good times like 'Grail Force'.

IZOU was a blade, coated with blood and grime, but as effective as even the most luxurious of swords.

Approaching the table, you could see that he wasn't in the best of moods or situations.

IZOU: "Hey… mind loaning me a few bucks? Not a lot, just enough so I can afford this blind..."

GAUDY MAN: "Wahahaha! Why? What's the fun in winning my own cash back?"

GAUDY MAN: "However, if you really think you can pay me back… I'll loan it, with interest."

IZOU: "You're downright criminal, you know that?"

GAUDY MAN: "Come on, what if you win this time? And win big too, so that you actually turn a profit."

IZOU: "Bastard…"

Despite his cursing, you could already see him rummaging around in his wallet.

GAUDY MAN: "Attaboy. You need to spend money to make money, my friend. And see? Your goodwill has been rewarded by a couple of beautiful women and their pet ominous shadow gracing our presence."

They seemed to have noticed your arrival, looking up from the table as you, NERO, and MUSASHI approached.

OKADA IZOU, abruptly stood up, pointing in your direction. Or, more specifically, in MUSASHI's direction.

IZOU: "Saber? Saber, if that ain't you! Long time no see! I could never forget a pretty face like yours!"

It seems like he didn't pay much attention to you at the moment. You weren't exactly sure what you looked like previously, so there was a solid chance he just didn't recognize you.

MUSASHI: "I didn't think you'd be here, Assassin. How are things?"

IZOU: "Ah, the summonin' is a new deal. But... Say, do you and your rich-looking friend have some PPT you can loan an old pal? I swear I'm good for it."

MUSASHI: "Straight to asking for money? Assassin… take the war out of the picture and you're just sort of a slimeball, huh?"

IZOU: "C'mon, you're breakin' my heart here."

NERO: "As far as men go, I'd opt to call them both unsavory in very different ways."

GAUDY MAN: "Well, 'Assassin', don't just start up a conversation without introducing me. Especially in the company of such lovely ladies and their... well, dark and looming bodyguard, I presume?"

The man by IZOU spoke up, lightly clapping the Assassin on the back. He had a roguishly charismatic air about him, and seemed as slick as he was strong. He had the eyes of a schemer, similarly to CASTER.

DURYODHANA: "My name is Duryodhana, a pleasure. Though, when I grace the battlefield, the crowds have taken to calling me 'Jishnu'. It means 'Triumphant', where I hail from. I know, I know, it's a lot, but what can I say? The people call it as they see it."

MUSASHI: "Nice to meet you. You can just call me 'Saber', for now."

NERO: "I am Emperor Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Though Emperor Nero will suffice."

DURYODHANA: "An Emperor? Well, how about that? I'm royalty myself! How about some drinks for our new friends? I've come into quite a windfall recently thanks to my swordsman friend here, you see. Hahahahaha!"

DURYODHANA flagged down some of the waitstaff as he cackled heartily, as IZOU placed a hand on his blade, smiling wickedly.

IZOU: "Oh, fuck off… I'll kill you, you know? Stab you right through that exposed gut."

DURYODHANA: "I'd love to see you try."

The two men, the former with the eyes of a killer and the latter with the glare of a demon, stared at one another.

There was a moment of tension where you really thought they actually would slaughter each other in the middle of this casino, before they both laughed and clinked their drinks together.

[seeminglydark]

Forgive me if this is weird to say, but as someone who really struggles to get attached to his own ocs out if fear of seeming cringe (and trying really hard to break out of thar) I really admire how much you unabashedly love your characters and how much it shows in your art

hahaha its not weird to say at all, I actually also struggle with this. I get a lot of self embarrassment and feel cringe about the fact that i draw the same things all the time, i dunno if that helps to hear. Sometimes I even refrain from posting things for a few days, or i wont post them in places like patreon or my patreon server or something cuz i have this fear of 'Oh Not Again.'

I think what helps me is remembering that first and foremost, I created my ocs for ME. I draw them for me. everything I do, its for me, coping mechanisms, self therapy, working through issues, or just for fun and aesthetic. They are extensions of me, and loving them is basically learning to love me. I put the care i should have been giving myself all this time into them, and it weirdly helps with my own self love journey, cuz honestly I feel pretty cringe most of the time and like i dont belong in most spaces. My ocs ease that, its a way of putting my heart and thoughts on paper so to speak.

These days i tell myself if people get bored, or dont want to see characters, or think im cringey, they have the freedom to unfollow. The internet is a vast place. When people are jerks about it, which I'll be honest, has happened WAY less than my brain tells me it will, i ignore and move on. No one has to be here. Has it happened? Yeah once or twice maybe, but compared to the positive messages I get its really rare. it's more that i think the rejection hurts us more when we hear it, I combat this by keeping a document where I've copy pasted all the comments/tags/dms that made me feel good, that way i can read through it and remind myself most people that are here love what i do. i like to think thats why people followed me.

And you know what, its so hard to separate ourselves from what people think of us, so remember the good things, cuz its incredibly rewarding that theres people who DO wanna be here. That love them maybe just as much as me. That feeling is WAY Bigger than the cringe feeling. The fact that i CAN be obsessive and cringe and people are on this ride with me? Holy Shit like I cant even describe how good that feels.

Create first and foremost for you. Thats the win, right there. And if it so happens others want to walk that road with you, well you've already won by creating so thats just a really cool bonus. Remember the kind interactions you have with people.They mean so much more than the negative ones. Love your ocs cuz they are a part of you in some kinda way and you deserve that love and care too.

-RJ

[the-64th-gamer]

I FINISHED MLP YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

(Started December 3, 2022 - Ended January 1, 2024 - 413 Days)

Am absolutely mindblown to see such an amazing series go through 9 seasons and literally continuously keep getting better and better!!!!!!!

Its been very cool binging it so quickly compared to most old fandom members watching it through syndication. Similar to when I rewatched SU there's such a difference seeing ideas and characters evolve at normal pace than to sit there for years brewing in fandom content that makes you expect them to go a different path. Lots of what I've heard be controversial things like Slice of Life and Starlight in general were some of my favorite parts of the show!!

Fav episode is The Perfect Pear, I was spoiled William Shatner was gonna play someone in the series and was SO FUCKIGN EXCITED when I realized it was him and in such an amazing episode!!!!! The ending was so fucking sweet omg.

Second fav was Slice of Life cause I get it was fanservice but on its own it was a great change of pace in the season to focus on background and side characters!!! After that it feels like they focused on background characters way more and it was very rewarding.

Seeing ***every single shot of Derpy*** was the funnest part of the show, I have personal screenshots of every single time I spotted her and stopping in the middle of songs or big fights just to scream and snapshot them was such a fun scavenger hunt. It made me go NUTS to see them do actual stuff on screen (ESPECIALLY THE SCENE IN BEST GIFT EVER WHEN SHE FINALLY GOT TO SPEAK IN FOREVER). It was also hilarious to see all the error derpies with fucked up colors and hair!!!!! It stopped in the later seasons except a time where she had a purple eye in a single shot, and one where she had big mac's face???? I was having a blast.

Similarly I was also just watching every single background character all the time every time, got to figure out which ponies would be used for which locations, when they'd appear in other places, which special ones could show up anywhere, which ones would do funny stuff, seeing new super cute background characters come in like Sweet Biscuit and Rainbow Stars!!! As someone hyperfocused on stupid stuff this was so fun watching the background nonstop.

Favorite season was season 6 or 7. Starlight was a great link for the episodes and it was the most normal seasons while the writing had gotten really good. Season 8 and 9 are still super good and I love that they were so willing to be bold and change things up a ton to keep interest, but 6 and 7 are closer to the usual baseline episode stuff so they're the best to go back to if I wanna rewatch.

I think the early seasons were still looking for a longterm identity for the show but I think starting season 5 it became this really great constant escalation of things. I really expected the show to just linger around the same ol' topics but it it kept changing the characters lives, the plot, and circumstances a ton while developing old characters and introducing new ones! Out of everything I've watched so far it was like the most masterful way to run a longterm series I've seen. Never felt burnt out or that anything was dragging, but also never felt like it ever lost its core identity!

Season 9 also was just a masterclass on ending a series, every single episode focused on bringing back some side character to give them an interesting spin, or conclude some arcs left behind. There were maybe one or two normal episodes but even those didnt feel like filler! I think the show was at its best throwing new ideas out and then taking a break with a standard friendship problem episode in a normal location. After watching it I don't think there was any missing thread or interesting thing they didn't try out! (Though also the series is formatted well enough they definitely could have continued making tons of standard episodes)

I can't remember if it was season 2 or 3 but I think when they first started introducing like regular songs to non adventure/important episodes it was really off, didn't really mesh well having the show be so musical, but they definitely incorporated it better as they went along and its kinda crazy it worked out well.

BTW I've steered clear from almost all opinions on the show outside of what Ray tells me so I dont know what of my opinions are universal to the fandom, but holy shit the season 8-9 intro sucks so much ass, all of the timing is COMPLETELY lost, theres that stupid school zoom out shot thats just maud hitting a rock in the middle of the road as it slowwwwwly pans, the backgrounds are way too visually noisy in the classrooms and the castle and its just an absolutely horrible nightmare that was thrown together in a day.

But yeah great show favorite show best show!!!!! I now get to see a decade of fan content and reviews and discussions n such!!! I watched some that were time appropriate for the current season I was watching to avoid spoilers but nows time for the floodgates!!!!! I'm glad I'll be able to hold onto my opinions now though and seperate them from anything I'm gonna further see discussed by all the old fans. I'm sure there will be tons of complaints I never considered but as I see it now that was a perfect run of television that I love very dearly!!!! Its certainly changed my life going forward lol.

[mellancholy-morose]

11, 21, and 38 from the ask game :9 (if I remember the numbers correctly, hopefully)

11. What do you consider to be romance?

Really making me think with these ones I see lol. Hmmm I suppose romance for me is just love mixed with sentimentality and surprise. That doesn't quite encapsulate it for me in a satisfying way though... things I can think of that I've done that I consider romantic might be rather morbid or odd to others (making chicken hearts for a valentines dinner) I do think that surprise and sentimentality are key aspects to it but there's something else more amorphous that I can't currently seem to distill into words.... oh... OH actually I think it mighta just hit me; a sense of being alone in the world with the other person, like the song Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You by The Arctic Monkeys that, that feeling

21. are you a spiritual person?

Yeah though distinctly not in a religious way. I used to consider myself wiccan/pagan (I have a dragon with a pentagram tattoo'd on my back :3) but I don't know if I fit with those labels these days. Though a lot of my beliefs still stem from some of those. A lot of it I see in a old wives tales kind of superstitious way with a fair amount of skepticism.

I know we've talked about synchronicity before and how you see it as chaos and I see it as order. That's kind of part of this, entropy means the universe is in a constant state of becoming more chaotic, but what's more ordered than a weirdly succinct parallels between your life and someone else's lining up like a story? It's always felt to me like a sign from the universe that 'this is a good thing' 'this person is in your life for a reason' or a pat on the back like a reward from the universe.

I've had weird synchronicities of other kinds, but largely they've all been musically related, and I've been thinking about it lately just how fitting that is. Energy is all just atoms vibrating essentially, and music is all just another form of vibrations. If there is a universal language, if the universe has a language, I think it speaks to us through music.

38. fave song at the moment?

I can't pick just one so you get two, and these are both ones I first heard this morning and then proceeded to loop for awhile

This Hell by Air Traffic Controller

Jelly Surfacing by Cloudfodder

Fun fact these both went on a playlist I've had for years of songs that I feel represent me in one way or another

[lanawinterscigarettes]

oooh a fun one I thought of was what kind of games does monica like to play (sfw & nsfw) the most considering how competitive she is

- ✨️

I had to compile a list of board games that I actually remember because I never had siblings growing up so I didn't get to play them often 😭 regardless I hope you like it <3

Games that Monica Geller likes to play

Warnings: both sfw and nsfw games are mentioned here but nothing's super explicit, some nsfwish stuff under the cut

Most people don't play games with Monica because of how competitive she is (the drama that surrounded the Geller Bowl is certainly proof of that lmao) which is a shame because she's actually really good at a lot of things, including physical games such as football

Pictionary and charades are probably her weak points, though. She's not always good at guessing pictures or what people are miming which tends to frustrate her and cause her to erupt (if you're actually good at those games then she'll definitely fight to have you on her team)

She likes trivia games because she enjoys proving how much smarter she is than other people (for example when her and Rachel played the game against Chandler and Joey over the fight for the apartment)

She's the type of person to have a dictionary with her when playing Scrabble so she can challenge whoever puts down a long word to make sure it's real (and she'll flip through it herself to give her a few good ideas)

I don't think she'd like chess or checkers, though. Those games require a bit more thought and strategy rather than just aggressive force, so they wouldn't really be for her

Board games like Sorry, The Game of Life, Candyland, and Clue are only fun for her if she's winning, and if she's losing she hates it (most people won't play those with her anyway because of that. No matter how the game's going, she always gets under people's skin even if it's unintentional)

Some games to never play with her is Monopoly or Uno. She can and will fight with people over the rules, especially when it comes to her fake houses' property tax and whether the Uno rules actually qualify or not

Do not under any circumstances ever introduce her to video games such as Call Of Duty or Fortnite unless you want to lose your girlfriend to a Discord server full of incels (I'm joking but I'm also not though)

This or that or truth or dare are games that she would actually be pretty chill with playing since they're not competitive ones (though knowing her she'd still try to make it be) so if you want a much calmer game night that's what I'd suggest

Now onto some more explicit games she might like to play

Obviously this or that and truth or dare can be tweaked so that they're more geared towards adults, which I think she'd definitely enjoy

It's also canon that she'd be up to playing strip poker (as the group of friends did in the two part episode where they went to the beach)

This one isn't really a game, but that one couple activity where you use body safe paint and then have sex on a canvas? Yeah she'd proudly display that out in the open but get all coy whenever asked what it's supposed to be (you'd have to lay down a plastic tarp because of the mess obviously but in that case I'd say she'd think the reward outweighs the risk)

You also might be able to convince her to try out roleplay or acting out a sexy scene from a movie (though to be completely honest that sounds more like something Rachel would do but still)

Monica strikes me as someone who's a bit more open with trying out things, so if you ever wanted to suggest something specific to do in the bedroom I think she'd be willing to at least try it out once

End notes: I hope this was okay sparkle anon <3

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[bosskie]

I feel like I don't know how to draw right now but doodling in Paint feels like the only way to get something done... I just feel somehow so exhausted, too tired to do anything... I wish that I could draw better but my mind just tells me 'No, don't draw.', so I gotta figure out a way to get some energy, though I have felt for over a decade that I'm always tired... Like, I wish that I had more energy to improve the painting on my Molluck sculpt and the current painting on it bothers me, but I just cannot... It makes me feel sorry for him, my sculpt I mean.

I still wanna draw but my energy is just so limited right now... So, here's just one random monochrome Molluck I did and edited it, mixed just bunch of filters. I actually like to draw using Paint since it's simple and has like all the basic stuff I need, and I kinda like its limitations.

Oh and yeah, I used as reference just one silly Molluck screenshot but changed his expression to look, well, whatever you could call it, sillier/creepier/nastier/hotter/anything. I don't know if this shitpost is even worth posting but well, here it is.

I'm sorry but I just feel so bad about myself... I should do stuff but I just get like nothing done... When you are this tired, you just don't really even have energy to do anything fun either, just nothing. Sometimes, I cry in bed and think that I should end this all, that even Molluck deserves someone better than me...

I don't know what to do... I thought that my mental health was getting better but it just seems to get worse despite of everything... I don't want any attention or pity, I'm only explaining why I behave like this, even it's not necessary. I also just wish that mental health issues weren't such a taboo subject and were taken as seriously as physical health issues.

I have felt the best when I have just forgotten myself but I guess that it has only made this all worse... Like I have been just working hard for years, barely giving any free time for myself, so I cannot even work hard right now... I just have felt like I cannot give time for myself, don't even deserve it... I don't even know why I hate myself... My impostor syndrome doesn't help me at all either since I feel like I cannot really be that good even I'm 'used to be' one of the best... I just feel like I'm not 'one of the best', never have... Despite of this, getting the best grades has just always surprised me since I tend to think that whatever I do is just some trash... I'm just confused... Yeah, I have been rewarded for my high grades, and it's been just such a surprise for me since I have thought that like everyone around me is better than me... Why the hell I feel like that... It's been so long like this... I'm so used to feel like I got no worth, even my family has always given me lots of love... Thinking this just makes me feel worse, like I was just so broken, too broken for this life... No matter what I have achieved, I feel like I'm only tricking people to believe I was talented... I more like feel like the stuff is too easy or that I actually understand nothing, just do something... I'm also still used to be afraid of failing the courses I take, even it never happened... I just do not belive in myself...

I'm sorry for my vent but I'm also just not really able to get professional help right now, I also feel too tired for it... Venting doesn't really improve my mood but I just gotta get these thoughts out since they are just slowly killing me... I just feel so sorry... Sorry for even my own existence... Well, I'm just trying to stay alive and luckily (or not; I just don't know if my whole existence is a good thing) my mind is still able to tell me to keep going, even if it happens thru Molluck...

I'm sorry, it's just so difficult to be positive when I deal with difficult mental health issues... I wish that this was different but I'm just so tired... All this crap started over a decade ago... I don't even really remember what like it was before this, only remember my suffering all these years...

I really wish that I had no need to write this stuff, that I didn't feel like this, but I just don't know what could help me... It's been so long like this... I'm sorry for this post but I hope that this can still give you something... I really appreciate your support, even my mind keeps telling me I'm nothing like those positive things, have no real talent, my art ain't even art but trash, and so on, that I'm not even worth supporting... It's really tiring... Just makes me feel like I was a living lie... This doesn't mean that support doesn't help me, my mind is just so intensive with its lies... Whatever I have just wants me to be gone... But I'm still trying to fight, even I'm just sick and tired of it... But well, that I try to keep myself alive is already fighting. I can just feel too tired to even eat, so I gotta kinda force myself to eat... Like I have said earlier, it's only my love for Molluck that actually makes me able to keep drawing; my desire to create couldn't do it alone.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary2

today we did errands and i did hate it like i thought. i don't know why i hate it so much. like okay hate it's too strong a way to put it but it wigs me out totally.

i guess probably, i hate going outside lately, and partly being around my gf and her mom puts me on edge, they're both anxious people who dawdle or i feel like they dawdle and i just want to go back home because it's hot out because we live in the dumbest desert ever and even if they're both having a good time basically it's made up of 100 mini arguments that no one has any stake in until one of the decides that something was really actually transgressed and that makes me feel catty and irritable but also i'm stupid and lazy, or i don't know. i feel kind of like i have to do most of the important stuff, but what is that really, that's not true, i just watch the laundry in the laundromat, i sit and listen to orchid, i feel people stare at me and then i watch my girlfriend fold the laundry because she doesn't like/need my help, and then we go to the store and she wanders around, she used to be a lot worse, and she also randomly decides rather than having us go look for something in the direction we're going maybe she should ask her mom to do that, and then get disappointed with what her mom brings her, so we go look. i don't know. it's annoying, is all, and i feel bad about that because it's so dumb to be annoyed, it should be funny it feels like but it makes me a little miserable to be dragged around places that make me feel totally dirty to be inside of, like, have you looked at the floors of every super market/market/wherever you buy your vegetables like god it's so gross and i'm transfixed by that because i'm like, also that gross too basically, right.

or i think that way a little. otherwise today was fine except for i came home and went crazy. when i go crazy i just say the same thing over and over, and i don't know why, it's not mean stuff it's just all stupid, i feel a clot in my throat talking about it/typing it, because like, what is it, i'm always convinced i know exactly what i'm saying when i'm saying it, but i can hardly remember, and like, there's almost no intention, i just start doing things and i can't help it, i just do it. when i'm super stressed i guess i just become way stupid.

definitely.

n e wayzzz, yesterday i think i fucked up a number, it wasn't 22 i stopped crying right, it was earlier, like, 21-20-ish probably. i don't know why correcting that feels so important. it makes me look way more pathetic, which is fine, i've made peace with that. everything that's ever happened to me means way too much for way too long. i don't think i hold grudges, at least.

last night i saw this print in the towel from last time i wore makeup, it happens every time so next time, which will be soon cuz i'll put makeup on when i go see melt banana cuz i want to serve cunt i guess, anyways it was my eyes closed drawn w/ mascara, when i washed my face and i couldn't get all the stuff off my face because i'm really lazy with the micellar pads or actually it's mostly because i like waking up and seeing some on my face still. i think it's actually when eyeliner looks best on me.

that's like, true.

tomorrow is gonna be weird because i have to meet with someone for semi-professional reasons after not having a job forever because i'm honestly terrible at being employed and it makes wanna die, but this is me probably getting paid to make music for someone's movie, and he likes a demo i did for him so that's #cool right. it's scary because i don't know what he'll say and how much he'll want from me, and i'm scared about not being perfect at it, and i'm scared it'll sap my ability to make what i normally make anyways but that fear is really stupid. if anything i think it'd make me want to go the other direction more, right.

i did work on music today but no vox, i just took some drums off grid on a song, which is fun, or not really but it's rewarding to go through and think about how another human would be dealing with a song/interpreting it in a live way almost, but the hits being so clearly from a drum machine of some kind, it makes it a little uncanny.

tomorrow i need to wake up early, so i can warm up and do some vocals somewhere, probably work on the song that i want to be another single a little bit, some parts need a little improvement i feel like. i didn't listen to the songs i did yesterday yet, too freaked out i guess.

today i ate, like, i forgot what i started with. i woke up in pain, my stomach was a gravity pit and it made getting up hard, i was just falling into myself and my body was distantly sore, i woke up, and i took too long in the shower so my gf's mom got here while i was drying my hair which probably is part of what put me in a stressed out place today already. anyways i think the first thing i ate after 2-3 hours of being awake was chicken tenders. i'm not saying where from because it makes me feel sort of ridiculous i guess, i dunno why. i should just say because it is ridiculous and it's really funny, for some reason shaq owns some kind of chicken chain, and we ate it today. it's fine, i like the french fries, they're crazy thin and i think i can still taste the salt at the back of my throat. we ate in the car because laundry had to happen. i didn't have water so i was dying a little bit. i have water now which is nice. uhhhhhhhhhhhh

trying to think, the next time i ate was at home, i ate a cinnamon roll that i think my girlfriend wanted but also doesn't care about too much and a blueberry muffin. i keep saying i'm going to eat the other one because it makes me look psycho, which is funny i think. what else.

in the shower, today, i thought about living with my aunt a lot, i hope my cousin who moved out around the same time i was moving out of there is well, i hope my cousin who moved in as i moved in there and is presumably still there, there being vague because maybe my aunt moved and took her kid with her, is doing better than he was, but i don't know. i sort of developed the fear that he maybe did something awful, i don't know why he would though.

makes me think about my other cousins, on my dad's side. they both turned out to have awful lives, they were normal for a while until they were adults, and switches came on in their heads maybe, around the same time each were arrested for domestic violence, both in jail. i remember vividly the time one picked up their cat and threw her in the pool and we three watched her run out, long hair all wet, she looked like a rat from a sewer. they were in highschool, i was way younger. another time, one showed me a glass bluebird, translucent, he talked about how it represented jesus, and then in that same stretch of time, i played ocarina of time on their n64.

i also ate some pretzel rods, i forgot, they were from the 99 cent store, i tried to get some in the smiths but my gf said: i got those exact ones in the 99 cent store. and then her mom showed up and she told that to her mom twice because her mom was not listening at all the first time.

friday we are seeing melt banana which i am excited about but i am not excited about hanging out downtown potentially cuz it's so fucking windy in the summer i don't want to have my bangs get fucked up in the wind that's so annoyinggg and also last time we were there i became inconsolable because i tried a dress on and it didn't fit and i was unhappy for at least 2 days. i think i sound really unfun in these posts. whatever.

[koiturine]

married | ritual.

i think i'll take the chance, 'cause after all, what are the chances?

"cheers." we clink our champagne flutes together after a successful acquisition. "the ipc's gonna be reeeeally happy about this one... right?" i have to ask to be sure. i don't 100% understand how his job works, or the ipc. i think it's evil, and while i've criticized it to aventurine's face his defenses are too confusing for me to really fight or wrap my head around.

"mhm. i might even get bumped up to p46." ooh, fancy! i think. i hope his spiel somehow makes more sense after downing my champagne. "the shares barely cost a thing. we went from 20% shareholder to full ownership." i still don't understand how a planet has stocks, but okay. following.

"having full control of psimante means we don't have to worry about any red tape. more importantly, it's not so much a hostile takeover as it is a simple trade." most acquisitions through his department when they're tied to debt are kind of massive pr nightmares. a lot of internal fighting, a lot of annoying paperwork. aventurine always has a more interesting business strategy, but i'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around him going with this venture in the first place.

it's just so not him to go after virtually no risk.

sure, there's an incredibly high reward. but even the rube goldberg-esque scheme he cooked up didn't have as many moving parts as usual.

he knew the astral express would come, even without our fake wedding.

even for a below average investor, psimante was chump change.

really, the value was so low he could have bought it without any scheme.

he didn't need me at all.

i'm forcing myself to focus on the joy of eating at the first place we properly met. at least the first place after he became aventurine. my favorite spot in psimante. i should be grateful that my home planet is in good hands now, right?

"wanna rate my performance, koi?" i blink back to paying attention mid-chew on my dinner roll. it's sweet that he wants to keep these schemes fair... but he could be better at it. "it did feel a lot more like a proper, clear mystery this time. you actually bothered to leave clues for once."

i play with the fake wedding ring dangling on my necklace. having this on the whole week really added to the suspicion. not to mention him keeping his sunglasses on the whole time to really hammer in the speculations about mind control. so much confusion about who was playing who with just enough little details to let the discerning mystery solver figure it out. but...

god, it's on the tip of my tongue. i snap my fingers until i remember the easier question to ask. "oh! yeah, what was the point of making us both untrustworthy?" it felt a little unfocused, but aventurine understands the 'psychology of the player' better than i do. (aka: he knows how to trick his friends.)

"if there are more conflicting opinions, you could have one half going after the stellaron through you, and the other half going at it through me. i know they say you shouldn't 'split the party', but i like to think about it more like i'm splitting the deck." if the thread i was chasing to find it was useless, he'd have his own as a back up. i think about that approach to myself, but ultimately decide to nod when enough dots connected.

i should ask why he picked my hometown in the first place. angelux bay might be profitable, and he might love the sun and the sand and the luxury it has to offer. the question of why he'd bother to do something he'd find so painfully boring is still gnawing at the back of my mind.

the way he's looking at me might be with that usual poker face, but the way his elbow isn't sitting on the table is enough of a tell. he knows i have something to say. and he's waiting ever so patiently for me to say it. my critique.

"...no notes." aventurine isn't even remotely surprised. "honestly, sometimes simple is better. you had fun with it, right?" i manage to snake in my concern a bit more vividly.

"it's hard not to have fun when i have an excuse to spend time with my unlucky charm." no matter how many times he calls me that, i'm not going to find it any less stupid. i know it's revenge for calling him avie, but this game of gay chicken has lasted a little too long.

...and it will continue to last too long. hopefully. i guess it's a bit better than jackpot.

the waiter comes along and i order my usual. aventurine tries something different, like he does every time. he's probably gonna make me try some, and i'm probably gonna hate it. something about the mundane predictability finally pulls the question out of me.

"so, why did you go for psimante?" aventurine looks wide-eyed at me. oh, so he didn't expect that question.

"because it's your birthday?" how the fuck did i forget my own birthday i am getting WAY too old. he scoffs out a chuckle as the shame looms over my face. his laughs only get more pronounced the more i sink my face into my hands. i'm an idiot. i really am an idiot.

"to be fair, last year you reserved my favorite theme park in pier point just for us."

"you really think i'd do the same thing every year?" he bats his eyelashes at me, elbow finally back on the table with his cheek resting in the palm of his hand. "i have ooone more gift for you, though. if you'll take it."

...huh?

yeah, okay, sure. aventurine spoiling me is literally nothing new. he bought me an entire fall/winter collection for a designer i offhandedly mentioned i like just last week. but he's--

holding my hand... and... and putting a ring on my finger. he speaks in avgin for a moment. i can't make everything out, but some key words sound familiar. 'under her three eyes...', 'secret love...'

"you wanna get married, kakavasha? ...actually?" he's melting. there's such an ethereal energy to him when he gets... soft. for lack of a better word. he knows that tone. that tone of unbridled, unapologetic sentimentality that i only know how to show to him.

there's a hitch in his breath. then a hitch in mine. we're both sniffling and fighting back tears, laughing at the fact that we're sharing such an intense happiness we thought we didn't deserve before.

i pluck the other ring from his hand, whispering my own vows while slipping that gold band around his finger. i always thought that i wanted a huge wedding with a tailcoat that has a train that's twice my height. instead of an aisle, it'd be a runway. a reception with a literal champagne fountain.

i think he thought the same thing.

but sometimes simple is better.

[keefwho]

May 27 - 2024 Monday

10:10pm

7/10

I didn't journal yesterday because my tummy hurt and I had bad anxiety last night.

This morning I didn't clean since I have to handle my parents 5 dogs which takes the entirety of my usual cleaning time. So I did that, took my shower, and made a breakfast sandwich with rice for breakfast. Also had a cookie. I tried to take my time eating which I don't usually do because I often feel like I don't have the time.

For work I warmed up with pony sketches and was thinking about how I want to determine a real sketching method rather than swapping in between things like I've been doing. I've been learning the pros and cons of different sketching methods and I'm on track to create a workflow that incorporates all of them in different stages. I see the potential. Then I finished that Venus patreon reward which I had a lot of fun making because of the composition and colors. It was also sort of classic in terms of subject matter and I enjoyed trying to capture that harsh vibe again. It seemed to do very well on my socials. For the last half of the stream I was handling selecting people for next month's commissions and setting up my spreadsheets.

After work I took care of the dogs and called DS while she worked on her fursuit so we could watch Barbie: A Mermaid's Tale. It was the most 5/10 Barbie so far I think. There was nothing too great or too bad about it. Nothing really stood out at all. The best thing I can remember is how cute the little seahorse with low self confidence was. While watching I played Gunfire Reborn on Roblox to get some of the event tokens and I was slaying in that challenge. She had to leave abruptly due to mom briefing her on family drama that I forgot to ask about. In the meantime I ate lunch and joined BR and AE in their server vc while I did DS's request. She asked for Zelink which was a hard prompt because it's so vague but also a good challenge. I had to think of something that I could do within 30 minutes and focused on 1 character since the requests are single character. I think I came up with something good. Then for my hour of personal art, I just sketched really good looking restyles of Monster High dolls on Pinterest. I always say if you wanna get good at something, you have to do it. I am pulled to draw Monster High content in some way but I lack the skills to adequately portray human proportions. So I did an hour of what I'd call fun practice because personal learning has to be fun. DS was free again in the middle of that so I worked in call with her while we watched Youtube. When I was done sketching, I switched to working on the VRchat world for PZ. I was mentally tired at this point but I cranked out 45 minutes on it and got a few things done. Im proud of myself for that given how little energy I had to spare.

With work done I switched back to Roblox with this not too great driving game and started grinding for more tokens. I put on more of this youtube video about a theme park called Evermore and everything it did wrong. We watched that for awhile until I remembered I had to take the dogs out so I switched to my phone and showed off the doggies. It was nice standing around outside just talking about whatever. I remember being really unengaged for a lot of the day because I think I'm getting tired of doing the same thing over and over right now. So being there outside, while brief, was refreshing. I was also thinking about what I was going to do with the evening knowing I'd have to figure out something. DS left to go shower and get something to eat. I just tuned in to this stream of Rust on Twitch and actually got invested. There was a big team of people engaged in a fight for a drop with another big team. The way they played was aggravating because they had no real organization. This is something I notice with a lot of events like this. I don't know why there isn't a simple hierarchy structure where people just follow orders, I think it would be a lot more organized and effective. Also fun to do and fun to watch. DS wanted to Just Dance so we did that before bed. We did the current Black Swan "event" which was actually just 2 poorly mapped songs with a hint of lore. Then we did one more poorly mapped song. It was still fun though.

In bed we did our puzzles and lost at connections because there was too much topic overlap and we were a little too careless maybe. Or I was at least. Then we had a nice little talk while drifted off to sleep. I played a Roblox skibidi toilet tower defense game trying to earn more tokens but I learned I had been mislead by the game and wasn't actually making any progress on the quests. BUT I had a very fun 30 minutes listening to very fast trance music and vibing out to the game.

I meant to do my trust homework for therapy today but I didn't get adequate time. I've been thinking a lot about it though. More specifically how I can make progress on my day to day trust issues in general. It's tough because it's not acute. Its a very deeply engrained way of thinking I need to unwire. It's something that can probably only be done with a lot of time, awareness, and having actual trustworthy people in my life.

[thedarkmistress16]

Do you have any app or mobile game to suggest? QwQ I wanna try playing something new

OOF there's so many mobile games I'm listing so prepare yourself

BATTLE CATS is the shit. Tough levels at points but there is a semblance of progress to be had. They added a lot of events and extra shit so it might be overwhelming for new people. i have no idea tho I barely started playing it again.

I'm a lover of the solitare genres (klondike and spider) but ugh the ads. I really only like them for the virtual customization of the themes that desktop comps dont provide enough of and having something offline to play on the go. ive been getting better at the four suit spider games, tho- i can feel my brain learning. 😁

Bingo games are fun! I don't have any one in particular I like the best, tho. Been a while since I played them.

Tinker Island 1 has great progression and you have the opportunity to collect the paid currency constantly, building up your gem vault. I like the garden minigame more than the actual gameplay XD.

I like Marvel Puzzle Quest for the match-3 gameplay with the marvel aesthetic. I'd recc. to play this one casually because progression is nonexistent with AND without $.

On the topic of match games, Bejeweled is a classic. 😊 I loved the butterfly rescue one back in the day and poker version was fun too- the tension is just MWAH.

Grand Summoners is for some reason spending a lot of money in ads because I'm seeing it everywhere despite having it on the exact device I'm seeing the ads on??? I'm not saying it's a problem it's just odd, lol. Micromanaging gear and teams will implode your brain but there is some strategy to it, even if you try to auto everything. They have crossover events all the time, on top of progression being kinda slow but still possible, and I'm quite happy with unexpectedly pulling a Hatsune Miku and evolving her. 😊

I would recc. trying out Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Links out for a test run to see if the grind is up your alley. Very generous with rarity tickets the last time I played it.

For another simple game, billiards are fun too, and easier to play digitally than in real life, lol. You will be playing against other humans all the time, tho.

Injustice 1 or 2 and Marvel Contest of Champions have their own pros and cons, but both are finger-input fighting/brawl games with IPs so it depends on asthetic and progression i guess? If I had to choose tho, I would say Injustice is more organized in its content than Champions if that makes any sense?

Best Fiends is a cute and neat lil' bubble draw and pop game that has some progression to it, but it's been a while since I played it. Surprising for me that I even like this one since the mascots are cartoony insects.

Color Puzzle is a gradient-building/color-matching puzzle game. I played it during my art class and it made me more aware of how colors react next to each other though it can hurt your eyes.

Visual novel story/chapter games are ones you need to curate yourself to figure out which one you'll want to sit through. Chapters has sexual/explicit stories but a beefy reward system compared to Choices from what I remember, plus community engagement/contests. This likely could have changed now- I haven't checked. Other apps have (slightly) animated characters/establishing shots and some are more customizable in the protagonist and reputation systems (romance or otherwise). They all blended together in my mind like a big soup of colors, but i will tell you that the paid currency choices are never worth it.

(Pixel) Color-by-number games are fun pastimes until they hurt your eyes and drain your device battery.

South Park Phone Destroyer was fun for a bit. Until it wasn't.

Dream Girlfriend is the best Ambition gacha/character simulation game they have, prove me wrong.

side note: have you ever played a mobile game that got deleted? one that was solely a play-to-win that was also fun in general and you were close to maxing out your characters? yeah, it's worse than the pain you feel when you discover your fave fic has been deleted from the internet😢

[300iqprower]

@so-no-headpats

The Good:

Vivian is canonically trans in every language

There is a partner wheel so you dont have to pause constantly like its Ocarina of Time Boots syndrome

The shortcut pipes are now labeled and there are two mini shortcuts to the steeple and pirate cave.

The game looks prettier and there's extended/remastered music that FUCKS.

There is now an official reward for filling out the badge and tattle logs, although it's just a skin but its not like theres much to reward you with if you've thoroughly beaten the game like that. At least its acknowledged now.

You can interact with objects and characters while on yoshi, no need to mount and dismount every other second.

You can use Goombella's field ability even when she's not out but this lowkey sucks for reasons i'll get to later

The Bad: Quite literally everything else.

Firstly i wanna clear up there's a lot of false advertised "Quality of life". Fuck purism but literally all the "QoL" changes are just removing challenge from the game which Nintnedo loves to do with their remasters, looking at you Hyrule Warriors Definitive Edition.

More inventory slots: So you can stack even more life shrooms basically. Quality of Life would have been letting us send itmes we find in the field directly to storage, which you still cannot do.

Restarting failed boss battles: The game is very good about save points and specifically has back-to-back boss battles meant to test your preparation that now dont work like that.

No penalty for fleeing fights: Self explanatory, the game has a badge that lets you skip fights you're overleveled for already.

"New Content" there are literally 2 new fights in the post game. 2. That's it. And they both require grinding out a bunch of fights that were already in the base game,. FFS one of them literally requires you to do the pit of 100 trials TWICE. That's padding and a half.

"Balance changes" are just nonsense. Its very Nintendo brand where the game is objectively easier but it makes it much harder for you to play the game how YOU want and not how Nintendo intends, case in point the frame perfect nerfs to things like Power Bounce and Multibonk.

"we'll put in a concept art gallery showing all the idea we didnt have time to implement in the original 2004 release but no way are we gonna put in any effort and actually finish our vision and add that as new content to justify the remake"

NOW FOR THE STRAIGHT UP ACTUAL DOWNGRADES.

The framerate is halved

You cannot mash through dialogue anymore

the game explicitly has longer intro and ending battle animations

HAVE YOU NOTICED A TREND OF SHAMELESS PADDING YET???

Theres a useless yet detailed tutorial NPC who follows you around. How about using that time on new REAL content instead jackoffs?

The big one: Unfortunately the chuds were lowkey right about "censorship" and blah blah. Aside from Vivian, who deserves the world like the not-evil shadow queen she is, there are SO many changes to the dialogue and unlike Vivian they are not for the better. Pretty much all the edges have been sanded off, and I don't mean they removed offensive jokes I mean they've even done some truly petty shit that makes the story objectively worse. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was finding out they retconned the Shadow Queen's hidden lore to remove any possible nuance to her motivations. That's just one of a TON of examples of the dialogue having all its personality sucked out.

So have fun freely seeing all Goombella's sassy dialogue now that a good chunk of sass has been removed!

Also remember those improvements to Yoshi? Well his ability still sucks because now it has a windup rather than being an actually effective mobility tool because again this shit is padded as hell.

this is in no way a comprehensive list of either positive or negative changes but it should be enough to make clear I sure as shit know where I stand on whether or not this garbage is more worth it than just using the HD texture pack on dolphin.

Literally only a duo as incompetent as Nintendo + IntelligentSystems would manage to fuck up a rerelease of TTYD