#but it wouldn't be expensive. 5-10$ at most

[sealeneee]

would anyone be interested in getting a moodboard/aesthetic/photoshop edit by me..... i'm considering taking a couple requests but idk if anyone cares for things like that lol

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

i spent all morning looking for the cheapest ways to get to venice next monday and i feel like i've cracked the code or something i think i got it

[shower-racoon]

okay, I think I've got an actual strategy for the nether, and even on bedrock edition it makes the game so much easier than before

(before, of course, being "no plan at all")

[dlxxv-vetted-donations]

Survival costs are taking up most of the Haboub family's donations.

Please see my other promotion lists for the newest version of this post with different goals.

I am no longer focusing on promoting/updating this post. Thanks for everyone's contributions!!!

Update Aug 26: Help promote this family on Instagram. See here.

Updated: Aug 31

Member: @mohammedhaboubsblog (Mohammed Haboub)

Verification: link

Payment methods: Google Pay, credit/debit

Donation matches and drive: 50 SEK, $5 USD art raffle, 105 SEK (under cut)

Current progress:

SEK 78,861 133,838 / 130,000

I've set a short term goal of 130k SEK for rent, which is roughly $12.8k USD. This is URGENT, the family needs to make rent by early September. See post here. The actual goal is 300k SEK.

The currency may appear intimidating, but this is a small-medium evacuation goal of roughly $30k USD. I think it's achievable if we work together.

Please donate if you can and share.

Details about this campaign:

1/3 of their funds have went towards outrageously expensive rent, healthcare, and basic supplies.

Mohammed was shot in the leg.

Mohammed's twin sister was injured during the Khan Younis massacre and went through a surgery the family currently cannot afford. We paid this off!

Rent alone is 1/10 of their campaign goal and the family is struggling to afford it.

On Aug 30, we helped pay off yet another month of rent so they wouldn't get evicted!

Donations are sparse and amount to around $100 USD daily. At this rate, the Haboub family will not be able to evacuate.

Their campaign goal is reasonable: roughly $29k USD to evacuate 4 adults.

I've attached my conversation with Mohammed below. If I get more evidence, I will provide it there.

If the inability to donate with PayPal or confusion around conversion rates is holding you back from donating, I propose that you donate to my Kofi. For anything that you tip me, I will round it up to the nearest whole SEK and donate it to the Haboub family. I will publicly post the receipt. You can donate anonymously (still requires an account) and don't have to notify me of any donations on Tumblr but I would like having a record.

Am I scamming you? Who knows, I'm some random person and I have no way of proving that I'm not interested in running off with your money. But I want to do something that might help tangibly because publicity isn't enough so far. Donate to me at your own risk.

Proof:

Update Aug 29:

[ID in alt text]

Mohammed sent me his and his sister's IDs to prove his identity.

Aug 27: Donation match for 105 SEK ($10 USD)

[tasteforambrosia]

Ranking who in the gang you should leave your drink with at the club.

This is not an opinion, this is a fact :)

12. Luke obviously because he ain't getting in that bar in the first place. Baby is watching Looney Toons while MC getting wasted.

11. Solomon, he wouldn't let anyone tamper with it. HE'D tamper with it. Not out of malice, but to spice it up, and now you're dead. Remember to be careful of Solomon at bars.

10. Belphegor, MY MAN WOULD FALL ASLEEP. SOLDIER GET UP DRINKS ARE EXPENSIVE YOU NEED TO PROTECT THEM.

9. Mammon. He is absolutely protective of MC, but let's be honest, if he was offered a good sum, he'd definitely consider it. Though he'd probably not give the drink to you BUT STILL WASTED LIQUOR.

8. Asmodeus. While he might be the demon with the most club experience, that man would get swept away by his fans in a second.

7. Our favourite teddybear, Beelzebub. Once again, he wouldn't EVER give it to someone else, but he would drink it himself. HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO SAY ALCOHOL AIN'T CHEAP.

And now we get to the somewhat good choices.

6. Satan would definitely be reliable, but I do think he would get caught up with networking, but at least he doesn't drink it :')

5. Poor Levi, he'd be absolutely terrified at the club, like absolutely overstimulated and at the corner. He'd definitely keep the drink safe, he'd probably leave if anyone even tried to approach him.

4. Simeon, even though he's kind, he's not oblivious. He would keep the drink safe but minus points because I could see him commenting about the amount of drinks consumed during that night.

3. Lucifer, my man. No one would even DARE try to spike a drink when he's holding it, at least if they like having their head on their shoulders. But minus points for either - drinking it, because we all know this single father has alcohol issues. OR if Diavolo is with him, he'd pull a Simeon and scold MC about drinking responsibly (Like a traitor.)

2. Barbatos could see into the future to alert the authorities if there were any scumbags around, and unlike Lucifer or Simeon, I'd see him holding his tongue on commenting about drinking at a club.

Diavolo supremacy. Even if he was careless, he has Barbatos AND Lucifer making sure things go smoothly. BUT EVEN WITHOUT IT HE WOULD BE SUPER DETERMINED TO KEEP THE DRINK SAFE AND HE WOULDN'T CHASTISE MC OVER IT. Truly a dream man.

I want to hear your thoughts! And also remember to keep your drinks safe!

[mesetacadre]

Is it necessary to learn how to shoot with a gun (and essentially to kill) to help the revolution? I saw a video from a communist who, among other good advices on what to do to on daily basis as a socialist/communist, said that you should learn how to handle a gun. That kind of scared me! I understand that revolutions are often violent and impossible without an armed resistance just because the ruling class doesn't want to give up power, I'm not denying that bc that would be stupid and then the revolution wouldn't be a proper one anyway. But that video got me wondering whether learning to shoot a gun is necessary to help with the revolution. Are there no other important roles for communists who don't want to kill unless absolutely necessary? Sorry if this ask is weird but thank you in advance if you decide to answer

Not at all, I don't know who that communist is but they sound like either too enthusiastic about guns and/or a usamerican. Armed revolutions don't come out of nowhere, they need a significant enough crisis and a revolutionary group sufficiently organized, sufficiently massified and with years of experience. Any armed political activity as a communist can only really be done with a party structure supporting it, if you pick up a gun by yourself and in the current state of communist organizing, all you're going to have is an expensive hobby. And even then, a group of organized armed communists aren't simply a set of individuals who can handle a gun, they need logistics, training, support, and again, an entire party behind them. And all of that work can be done by people who have never handled a gun. I get wanting to be prepared, and your mind jumping to when we'll get to kill capitalists, but it's simply a waste of time when you need to build those conditions in the first place, and for that you need to do many more things than learning to shoot a gun.

The work you do as an organized communist requires patience, willingness to do seemingly pointless and repetitive tasks. You (talking to the void here, not you specifically anon) need to shed the idea that you'll join a little sect, buy a gun, 5 books, and 10 years later be at the gates of your country's parliament/congress. In periods of legality, you won't be mapping out the surrounding area to prepare a guerilla, you'll be going to union meetings and small protests to build up that consciousness that's required. And in periods of Illegality, save for extreme situations, what's more likely is that you'll be supporting whatever work is needed without ever even seeing it. Armed revolutions are a mass event, in which thousands or even millions of people are involved, most of which are involved in the rearguard.

Basically, what I'd tell that communist is to stop fantazising about killing their landlord, join a party if possible and do actually useful work beyond their individuality. When the time comes to shoot guns, they aren't going to rely on random people who learnt to shoot their gun with their accessories, they're going to form some sort of regular militia with standard arms and basic training, with even more people supporting them in every which way

[deadpresidents]

I'm always a fan of Caity Weaver's work, but this piece from the New York Times Magazine (these links are gift links from me past the NYT paywall to access the full article) about how the penny is not only a ridiculous zombie currency, but also a reflection of American dysfunction is one of the best articles I've read in a long time. It's really interesting, especially the parts about production, circulation, and the ultimate paralysis of throwing them in a coin jar for months or years before eventually taking them to a Coinstar machine.

Not only is the penny useless and more expensive to make than it is actually worth, but it's also relatively easy to eliminate. But it's not an imperative and eliminating it also wouldn't necessarily be something that the government or the citizens would actively profit from. And people don't like change -- and I don't mean "change" as in currency, but the act of doing something different or unusual from our accepted routines. So we just ignore them or discard them or hoard them needlessly, and the government keeps making billions of tons (literally) of them because they drop out of circulation. Nobody cares and nobody wants to have to do anything about it because America.

Here's a little excerpt of the piece from the New York Times Magazine, and again, just follow the links for a free gift pass behind the paywall for Caity's full article:

Americans accumulate pennies not because we desire them but because we are entitled to them. If we pay for something in cash with more than exact change, we expect to receive back the difference; if the difference ends in any number other than 0 or 5, we will receive at least one penny. We are entitled to pennies because they exist. But imagine a world where they didn't. Imagine a world where it was Canada. Many Americans will be surprised to learn that Canada eliminated its 1-cent coin more than a decade ago...Canada got rid of its penny in 2013 because it cost 1.6 cents to produce and had, like its American cousin, become essentially worthless. Here is the most important detail to understand: Canada eliminated only its physical coin, not the mathematical concept of 1 cent. Payment by credit card, debit card, mobile phone or check -- any kind of noncash transaction -- is calculated exactly as it was before the penny was abolished. If, after tax, a bill comes to, say, $20.11, a Canadian paying by credit card will be charged $20.11. A Canadian paying by cash can expect to pay $20.10. The final digit of Canadian cash transactions is rounded to the nearest nickel: 1 and 2, nearest to 0 nickels, round down to 0; 3 and 4 round up to a nickel -- 5; 6 and 7, also nearest to one nickel, round down -- 5 again; 8 and 9, nearest to 10 cents, round up. I admit that the thought I might be asked to pay, say $3.80 (cash) for something that, according to the laws of God and man, has been calculated to cost $3.79 (cash) is not only reflexively infuriating to me but a potential source of permanent confusion. The Canadian government mitigated one of those problems (no hope for the other) with an information campaign that included signs with simple charts dividing potential prices into two columns: "Round down" and "Round up." I asked Karl Littler from the Retail Council of Canada if there were still signs at cash registers explaining the rounding. "It's 10 years now, so even the most obtuse people have pretty much figured it out," he said, and laughed.

-- Caity Weaver: "America Must Free Itself from the Tyranny of the Penny", the New York Times Magazine

[ncillary]

POV : First meeting in the Destiny Cafe

Content : Fluff, short drabble, Affinity 10

Xavier

MC : Fancy meeting you here in the Destiny Cafe.

Xavier : -nods at you- You are fancy.

MC : What?

Xavier : What?

MC : ...

Xavier : ...

Staff : May I take your order, sir?

Xavier : I've ordered. Please excuse me.

-Hurriedly out of the cafe-

Barista : Drinks for (MC's name)

MC : Huh? That's me but I haven't ordered yet.

Barista : Oh? You're not that blue-eyed boy that ordered.

Staff : Ah. He just booked it out of here.

Staring at each other then the drinks.

Barista : Might as well take it with you since it's already paid.

MC : -receiving the drinks in confusion- Thank... you?

Staff : You're welcome. Have a nice day.

*Xavier was watching the whole situation just on the corner of the cafe's window. Stupid smile on his face as MC was enjoying the drink.*

Zayne

MC : Dr. Zayne? What a surprise meeting you here?

Zayne : -staring-

MC : -getting awkward- Well then, it was nice meet-

Zayne : I'm offwork.

MC : What?

Zayne : ...

MC : I... noticed... Enjoy your... offwork...

Zayne : Care to join me? This is the last batch of the limited muffin for today -gliding the plates of 5 muffins on top of it-

MC : Oh, what?! -immediately sitting- I can't believe you're able to get it. Wow. You really don't mind?

Zayne : I've eaten five of them. Try it.

MC : -hesitantly eat one and lights up- Thish is delichious! Yvonne and I have been talking about it.... (proceed to tell the story)

Zayne : -giving small smile to her that went unnoticed- I heard.

MC : What?

Zayne : Your review is very refreshing. Go on.

MC proceeded to compliment the muffin all the while Zayne kept looking at her with that small smile of his.

Rafayel

MC : Rafayel?

Rafayel : Hello there, Miss Bodyguard. Up for a side income?

MC : Aren't we already established on that?

Rafayel : -playful gasp- Miss Bodyguard. I didn't know we had an established relationship outside of work?

MC : -sigh- Not like that. I meant-

Rafayel : Oh, look at that. The flowers they put up on the countertop are different everyday.

MC : Huh?

Rafayel : -proceeds to pull her to sit near him as he points at the counter- And look at the pastries. Some of them have the same flower decorated on top. Go on. Order them for me.

MC : Rafayel-

Rafayel : Here's my card. Get whatever you want along with the pastries. I need some muse by consuming those pastries. Go on. Stat.

MC : -already getting up with the card- Fine. I'm ordering the most expensive one from the menu.

Rafayel : -another gasp- Miss Bodyguard! That's an extortion.

MC : -grinning- You pay who you hire. Remember.

Rafayel kept looking at her as she ordered. He smiled simply for another successful evening with her.

Sylus

Sylus : Fancy meeting you here, Miss Hunter.

MC : -wary- You're not...

Sylus : I'm here? Yes. Shady business? No. But I do need a recommendation since this is your territory.

MC : -crossing arm- Why should I?

Sylus : Why shouldn't you?

MC : Wha-

Sylus : I'm just another foreigner from a far away land. Visiting Linkon for a peaceful time. Will the exemplary citizen like Miss Hunter deny someone like that in a time of dire?

MC : I-No! But- -sigh- fine. Just... don't cause a scene.

Sylus : I wouldn't dare when Miss Hunter is nearby.

MC glared at him a bit and he put his hand up to show he meant no harm. But the smirk played on his lips irked her to no end.

Sylus following, towering, MC close as she ordered. He paid for both of them. Received a slight argument but took her free drinks and pastries begrudgingly. They sat together and able to have decent conversation somehow. What a weird, pleasant, night.

[clavissionary-position]

Ikepri Rooms Ranked By How Expensive They'd Be As Hotel/Airbnb Suites

1. SILVIO

Listed in the dictionary as the extreme antonym of a cheap room. The type that requires reserving years before in advance because nowhere on earth will you get a better view of dolphins porking. And forget about sheets being washed daily, they get completely replaced three times a day. You feel like a billion dollars after one night's stay, which is great because you've surely spent half that amount on said stay.

2. JIN

The reason this ranking exists. Luxury walls, flooring, bedding. Other hotel suites wish they could be Jin's room. Catching your reflection on any of the surfaces automatically increases libido. The sheets are infused with heady compounds commonly found in massage oils. You can see the mini-bar no matter where you're standing in the room. The fucking complimentary lollipops.

3. YVES

The crown canopy alone is so iconic that it demands a premium, but who wouldn't want to treat themselves to a stay in such a chic and manicured suite? Its amenities rival any high-end spa. There's amenities for actual cats. You go in clean and come out shiny.

4. CHEVALIER

You're paying for the books and you're paying for the balcony. If you face the bookshelves it smells like roses. If you face the roses, it smells like books. It's obvious Chevalier did not put this room on the market, nor did he tamper with it to such inutile effect.

5. KEITH

The premiere suite for introverts who simp for succulents. The bright and refreshing color palette is sure to uplift your spirits, and if that doesn't do the trick, who doesn't like fiddling with an actual telescope and accidentally breaking it? The ceilings are higher than you'd find in most suites, making it perfect for taller guests. There's always a fresh galette waiting for you every day.

6. NOKTO

A room that enticingly strays into the realm of maximalism. Staying in this suite with all its souvenirs and foreign effects lets you feel like a globe-trotter while you're getting ravished into the luxurious mattress. No single occupants allowed.

7. LEON

You're paying for the books and you're paying for the sheets. Mostly the sheets because some of the books are a little dusty. Room Service specializes in meat dishes. The windows grant one of the most breathtaking sunsets you'll see anywhere.

8. LICHT (palace room)

Despite the cool palette, it evokes calm and happy feelings. The wolf motif means lots of fur accessories. Just, uh, ignore the collar in the drawer. Even if you're into it. That's not for you. Yeah, this is probably another room that wasn't listed by its owner.

9. RIO

The view, the view, the view. For some reason Rio comes with the suite. 24/7 butler. Partway through your stay and after receiving world-world-class service, your understand why the convenience fee was so much higher than what you paid for the actual room. It's also obvious that this experience is worth far more than what it was listed for.

10. LUKE (cottage room)

A cozy stop on any b&b tour. The owner asks you do not disturb the teddy bears on display. If you find that the teddy bears disturb you, you are free to sleep facing the walls while enjoying the everpresent fragrance of honey.

11. SARIEL

The perfect room to spend an entire day in while reading or cuddling or being spooky and goth. There's spare glasses everywhere. You can see how some of the seemingly-ordinary fixtures could easily be turned into props for more adult-oriented activities. There's also ale flasks everywhere. ...Who put this room on the market? (whip-cracking sounds)

12. LUKE (palace room)

It definitely feels like you're staying in someone's personal bedroom and not an officially sanctioned suite. If you stayed in the cottage room before this, you might even think one of the teddy bears followed you. Well, that's just what they do.

Unlisted properties ranked:

1. CLAVIS (treasure and contraband room)

A national secret too dangerous to list. Expensive based purely on the illicit contents and sheer volume of shovels, which apparently add up.

2. LICHT (cottage room)

A national secret too secret to list. Also if "Simple and Clean" was a physical room. No one should know it exists, even though everyone probably knows it exists. If it were on the market, it'd be impossible to book. It's so picturesque it makes you want to cry. Most of the hypothetical extra charges on the hypothetical bill go toward maintaining the field of flowers surrounding the property.

3. CLAVIS (palace room)

A national secret too dangerous to list, but there have been rumors that you can stay for free if you manage to get past all the locks and traps and tell the owner how much you love him.

4. GILBERT

A national secret too dangerous to list, and there have been rumors that it undergoes regular renovations ever since the owner got engaged. It's the kind of room that makes you think "yeah, that'd probably be expensive as hell to stay in," but it seems the owner doesn't care for pricing things out of the reach of the masses, so that's why it's ranked so far down. If the room were available.

a/n: Thank you for reading. I took some inspiration from the modern headcanons @/leonscape has posted in the past. Also the bit about where Licht keeps his collar I believe is something mentioned in a collection event story, which I read the translation by @/hotaru987 for.

[thalialunacy]

[written for the @calaisreno May Prompts Safari. E-rating, y'all. and schmoopy as hell.]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) 30: journey (31)

When next they arrive at Sherlock's parents' house, it's the end of May bank holiday and John is more than ready to hand over his child in exchange for a strong drink.

This, he muses as his wish comes true without even having to be voiced, is the magic of grandparents.

---

He's just coming back from putting Rosie down when he hears surprisingly raucous laughter and the words '... the priest was never quite the same after that, was he?'

He comes to a stop in the centre of the furniture configuration, looking round at various family members with a raised eyebrow. 'Holmeses,' he says solemnly. 'Dare I ask?'

'Oh, absolutely,' Sherlock's mum replies. 'We've had enough to drink that we're starting in on rude stories.' John coughs, and she waves her hand, somehow managing not to spill any wine. 'Not rude like that. Well. Mostly not.'

Mycroft, of all people, lets out what could graciously be called a snort. 'I'll start: John, I must tell you that once, at Christmas, Mother told us her shirt had French letters on it, and then had no idea why Grandfather looked so scandalised.'

John looks to Sherlock, perplexed. 'Condoms, John,' Sherlock explains. 'Eighteenth century Britons called them, among other things, "French letters."'

John swallows his mouthful of scotch. 'Of course.'

'Oh, oh!' Sherlock's mum starts. 'John, there was a time when Mycroft was so worried that baby Sherlock would roll out of bed that he found every blanket in the house and made him a huge nest. Then wouldn't leave his side.'

Mycroft purses his lips. 'I did no such thing.'

'Don't lie to your mother. You were there for days. You nearly suffocated him, you were so worried.'

Sherlock's father chuckles. 'There was also a time, John, that he and Sherlock volunteered to be ushers at church and ended up fighting over which offering plate had the most in it at the end. The Altar Guild was cross with us for months.'

John does laugh at that one.

'Yes, yes,' Sherlock drawls. 'And believe it or not, John, Father frequently used to play hangman with me in the church bulletin during services.'

His mother turns to her husband, genuinely surprised. 'Did you really?'

His father shrugs. 'It was better than the alternative.'

His mother eyes her younger son. 'Yes, that's probably true.' But she doesn't bother hiding her fond smile.

This goes on for quite a while, all four Holmeses using John as their audience to tell increasingly far-fetched stories about their shared histories. John, sat next to Sherlock and making his way slowly through two fingers of fine alcohol, can't help but be charmed. They're ridiculous, and, let's be honest, fairly weird, but they obviously have great affection for each other. Despite what Mycroft and Sherlock might claim.

When there's a lull, he just asks it: 'Out of curiosity, why are you telling me all this? Not that I don't find it amusing, obviously, but… Sherlock?'

John's eyes narrow, his stomach somersaulting, as he realises Sherlock has slid off the sofa and onto both knees, his whole family is situated on various pieces of furniture behind him like a posed picture, and he's got--

'Oh.'

--he's got a rather distinctive item in the palm of his outstretched hand.

'Oh.'

'Yes, very good John, knew you'd cotton on eventually.'

His voice is strong, yet a bit off. John searches his face. 'You're not taking the p--' He glances at Sherlock's mum. '--mickey?'

'Yes,' Sherlock deadpans. 'I gathered my whole very hilarious family of known pranksters to pull your leg in an elaborate and expensive manner.'

'Alright, keep your shirt on. I just-- You're serious. You actually want to get-- be-- married. To… me.'

'If you and Rosamund will have me.'

John feels it like a surge, but tamps it down. 'And Reginald the cat?'

Sherlock is slightly taken aback. 'Obviously. Unless that would be an issue for you, if Rosamund--'

John barks out a laugh, plucks the ring from Sherlock's hand and yanks him back up onto the sofa. 'Oh shut up, you absolute disaster, of course we bloody will.'

Sherlock's mouth curves, but he doesn't fully relax. 'Even though I come with this lot attached?' He waves at his family without looking at them. 'Those stories, I assure you, are only the tip of the iceberg.'

John wants to tackle him. 'You've met my "A-leveled in alcoholism" sister, have you not?'

'Well, yes, but--'

'Shut. Up.' John glances at the rest of the family, feeling his ears turn a bit red at their blatant interest in the proceedings, but clears his throat and grabs the back of Sherlock's neck anyway. 'I love the hell out of you, remember?' he says quietly.

Sherlock's gaze jumps around his face, searching. 'I seem to recall something about that, yes.'

'And if the shit we've gone through in the last decade hasn't broken us--' Sherlock opens his mouth. '--inoperably, hasn't broken us inoperably, then I'm pretty damn sure we'll be fine.' He touches their lips together very briefly, then presses their foreheads together for a moment longer.

Sherlock's mum very cheerfully breaks the moment. 'Wait until Rosie's a teenager to say that, dear.'

'Mum.' John feels Sherlock's groan rumble through him, and can't help but chuckle.

He pulls back, dropping his hand, and gives the family a sheepish but unashamed look. 'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I think.'

'Indeed. Life is a journey, not a destination.'

Everyone turns to stare at Mycroft.

He stares back, lifting his chin. 'What? Am I not meant to know Emerson?'

'Are we sure he's not been replaced by a cyborg?' John whispers to Sherlock.

'Who would be able to tell the difference?' Sherlock parries immediately.

Mycroft huffs. 'Oh, please. Go consummate this new relationship status so I can have some peace.'

John clears his throat. 'Beg pardon?'

Mycroft rolls his eyes and stands. 'Shall we fetch another round of drinks before we move on?'

His parents exchange a look, then stand. 'That is a brilliant idea,' says his mum.

'I am rather known for them,' Mycroft says dryly, heading to the kitchen without a glance backwards.

John tries again. 'Beg p--'

Sherlock's mother pats him on the cheek. 'Oh, we have a movie night planned. With lots of explosions.'

'Ah,' Sherlock says, as if this explains everything.

John turns to him with a questioning look. 'The home theatre room,' Sherlock clarifies, his droll tone belied by his slightly pinked neck, 'is at the opposite end of the house from the rooms they've given us for the weekend.'

John considers being embarrassed for half a second, but then decides it's of no use. 'Ta, Holmeses. We'll see you in the morning.'

'Oh, and don't worry about the baby's wake-up,' Sherlock's father adds as he's following the rest out of the room. He gestures at his wife's retreating back. 'This one will take care of her so you lot can be as lazy as you like.'

'As if John is ever--'

John nudges the detective's elbow. 'It's a euphemism, Sherlock.'

'Oh. Certainly.' He nods, once, at his father. 'Thank you.'

---

Sherlock gets up the stairs ahead of him, but they're still yards from the door to their room when he stops and unceremoniously herds John against the wall. John grunts in surprise. 'What? Are you--'

Sherlock's lips stop up his words, and distract him so much he doesn't really clock that Sherlock's gorgeous hands are working efficiently at his trouser fastening… until all of the sudden he does.

'Are you mad?' he manages when Sherlock mouths across his jaw, his hand plunging into John's pants with finesse. John is soft, but he won't be for long at this rate, Jesus. He has to tighten his hold on Sherlock's biceps.

'Of course I am,' Sherlock answers, voice like butterscotch against John's ear. Then he drops to his knees, and John nearly swoons like a Victorian maiden.

'Your family!' he hisses instead, unable to stop a hand from weaving into Sherlock's hair. Not to pull, not this time at least. This time, to just… be there.

'They're all occupied,' Sherlock replies, the words throwing heat against John's now-exposed hip. 'They may be feckless but they still have some propriety left.' He looks up at John, his lips hovering tantalisingly near the tip of the plumping cock he holds in his hands.

'Fuck,' John breathes. 'Go on, then.'

Sherlock needs no more permission.

John has had more illicit liaisons in his life, it's true, but for some reason (he knows the reason) he goes from half-mast to panting to mindless word repetition in a record amount of time.

'Sherlock--' He tries to keep his voice down, so it comes out much more desperate than he'd intended, but fuck it. 'If you keep-- Sherlock--'

He hears--and feels--an urgent sound come from his partner, and looks down, past those fucking eyes, to the hand speedily opening trousers and drawing himself out.

John probably whimpers, that's how fucking hot he finds that view, and in combination with Sherlock's admirable oral efforts, he speeds towards climax at a rate he's not achieved in years. There's a flash of a thought of inadequacy, but it's overcome handily by watching Sherlock fuck his own hand at a near-frantic pace. He does clutch Sherlock's hair, finally, as he comes down his gorgeous throat.

He hears a curse and opens his eyes just in time to see Sherlock ejaculate almost neatly into a handkerchief he must've pulled from his pocket.

He wants to laugh. He pulls Sherlock to his feet, heedless of their state of dishabille, and kisses him, hard. Well, as hard as he can before he does indeed start to laugh.

'I can't believe you did that,' he rasps as he barrels them through the bedroom door, finally. He feels stupid, giddy. Frothy.

'Which part?' Sherlock replies as they shed their already-unfastened clothes and fwump somewhat gracefully onto the bed.

'You bastard,' John groans without heat. 'Despoiling a handkerchief? Getting off where anyone could come walking on by? Proposing to me with your whole family around like a flock of posh geese?'

'What a ridiculous image.'

John rolls over to partially smush Sherlock, who wheezes slightly and wraps his arms around John's torso. 'I'll show you a ridiculous image,' John says, giving his best Randy Lad smirk.

Sherlock raises an eyebrow. 'So soon?'

'Maybe. Okay, no, but I can still do some damage, ta very much.'

'Such as?'

John sobers. He drops his eyes to Sherlock's chin. 'You'll laugh at me.'

A long, graceful finger traces around his orbital socket. 'Don't let that stop you.'

'Berk.'

'Such as?'

John just breathes for a moment. Then he reaches out to touch a small nevus on Sherlock's collarbone, then travels the trail to another one. 'Oh, just…' He follows his finger with his tongue, tasting. 'Want to trace the constellations onto you.'

He hears Sherlock inhale, and feels it as his chest rises. Then John finds himself pulled into a long, deep, ridiculous kiss.

'By all means,' Sherlock finally says against his lips. 'I look forward to your very thorough survey.'

John releases a breath, and settles in to get started.

[<3]

[little-cereal-draws]

Some sad Ballister and money headcanons

pt 1? maybe?

Ballister has a very complicated relationship to money

Growing up poor, the threat of not having basic things like a home, food, or other necessities hung heavy over his head. He might not have understood the full scope of it, but he was a smart kid and understood enough to feel its affects

He didn't have nice toys, his clothes were full of holes, their meals were small. He knew other families had more, he would see them walking down the street, but knew that wasn't for him or his family

He wouldn't ask for ice cream in the summer, wouldn't complain when they ate the same stew for dinner every day for a week because that's all there was, never cried or whined the few times he asked for something and was told "no"

It bled into guilt. When his mom offered to cut his hair one summer when he was sweating up a storm, he said no. He didn't want to bother her; she already was so busy and stressed. She assured him that it would take five minutes and wouldn't cost anything but still he refused

Or one fall, he helped a neighbor fix his heater (he held the tools) and got paid $10. He was so excited; this was money all for himself! His first thought was to give it to his parents because he knew how much they needed it but this was his money. He bought himself a sandwich for $6. The rest of it he gave to his parents. They didn't want to take it from him but he insisted and eventually they gave in

That night, he cried. He wanted to help, he knew how much they needed the money and how hard his parents worked, and he had selfishly spent over half of it on a single meal. $10 would have been much more helpful than $4 but he just had to treat himself, didn't he? He knew those fancy, expensive foods weren't for him but he bought it anyway

It was around this time that he decided he wanted to be a knight. They were so brave and strong and helped so many more people than he could. And they probably got paid pretty well, their armor was always so shiny

So he would pick up any odd jobs people could give to a kid (walking someone's dog, watering their plants while they were away, sorting recycling from garbage, etc) while dreaming about being a knight. The jobs only paid somewhere between $5 - $10 but it wasn't about the money. He was a hero of the realm and they only needed the safety of their people to be satisfied

But he would go home and count every dollar before he went to bed

When the Queen offered to keep him at the Institute and train him to be a knight, neither him nor his family could believe what they were hearing. There was some back and forth about what this would mean but ultimately, they let him go. He would have food, shelter, stability and all the things they couldn't provide

Joining the Institute was very overwhelming for many reasons but Balister did have to say he did enjoy not worrying about money all the time. He never had to worry about if the lights would shut off or where his next meal would come from. He didn't have to budget his few dollars and didn't feel guilty for wanting things. The other kids had so much stuff, surely he could have some too

This... wasn't totally true. Even though his life was more stable now, he still didn't have the latest sneakers or stories about long vacations to country houses or anything else that these kids had. He tried to ignore it but it was a glaring middle finger to the face every time someone casually mentioned their new pet pony or other ridiculous bullshit

The first few years of his training were fine, they were all using fake swords with plastic armor on straw dummies. But as he reached his teen years and training got more serious, he realized he was going to be left behind again

The Institute and the Queen did provide some things for him but it turns out that most of those kids' families provided their knight equipment for them. Ballister's family would be expected to do the same and he knew there was no way that was going to happen. He had come here to make his dreams a reality but if he had to choose between his future or his family starving/being homeless because all their money went to his armor, he would go home in a heartbeat. It would kill him but, in his heart, he knew it's what he would do

So he went to class everyday with only a sword that wasn't his. Ambrosius gave him a sword when he first got to the Institute and saw he didn't have one. At the time he was thrilled but told him he couldn't accept it, Ambrosius needed it. The blond boy had simply shrugged and said "You can keep it, I have a whole bunch." He was ecstatic to finally get a real-life sword but now it was a reminder that these other kids could trade these thousand dollar weapons like baseball cards. The monetary value meant nothing to them

Despite having a sword already, he didn't have any armor and got his ass handed to him so many times. Turns out having protection against people thrusting blades at you was important. Todd and the other knights made of him mercilessly but he would just have to endure it because there was no way in hell he was going to tell his parents he needed equipment. He was going to have to deal with it himself

At first the Director wanted him to stop training until he was able to afford armor but he begged her to keep going. He got really good at blocking attacks, because if he didn't, he would get hurt, but he knew it wasn't enough

It was nearly impossible because training took all day and then left him dog-tired but he started picking up odd jobs on the weekends again. People paid much better in the wealthier neighborhoods and he could get quite a decent sum for cleaning someone's gutter or mowing their lawn. It was embarrassing that he had to do this while the other kids could relax but it was worth it to not be covered in bandages all the time

He had saved halfway to his goal when he got seriously hurt. Sparing gone wrong, he fell for a fake-out right move and got slashed across his left side. It was bleeding a lot and he was whisked away to the informatory. After he got stitched up, the Queen came to see him. He hadn't expected her but apparently the accident was big enough to reach her

She asked him how this happened and embarrassedly, he admitted he wasn't wearing armor during practice. She was shocked and asked "why in the world not???" After a moment debate, he admitted that he didn't have any. That opened the floodgates, and everything came pouring out. He was ashamed that he got hurt, he was embarrassed he didn't have armor, he was guilty that he didn't ask for help, he was stressed that his parents would help him at their own expense, he was tired from spending every second he wasn't in class working

The Queen comforted him, letting him cry on her shoulder and combing his hair. It only added to his shame, this was no way for anyone to be treating the QUEEN. He pulled away and then the unspeakable happened. She offered to buy him a suit of armor. He sputtered, trying to refuse it, or at least let him pay for the part he had money for but she refused to negotiate. It was unacceptable that one of her knight cadets was left without the basic equipment required to succeed, that the Director did nothing to fix the problem, and that the environment of the Institiute made Balister feel too ashamed to ask for help and got him seriously injured

She bought him his thick black armor and the first day he wore it to class, he couldn't stop grinning. He beat the shit out of everybody who dared spar with him

Time went on and Ballister's armor got chipped and dented but he never wanted to buy a new pair like all his classmates in their shiny chest plates. This armor was old but it was his, he was allowed to have this

[whump-place]

Adopted.

5-And the last one.

Masterlist.

Content: Multiple Whumpees, Carewhump, Pet Whumpees, Conditioned Whumpees, Multiple Whumpers.

It has been a few days since Master took in that Pet, and yesterday Liam almost fainted, probably because it was too hot in the kitchen. He never takes his health seriously.

Star sighed, it wasn't their place to correct their siblings behavior.

They know their brothers aren't the most stable Pets, they all had their own quirks and roles, and it's okay; they learn fast.

Liam is the smart one, a chores Pet too proud for their liking, but Liam always took good care of them, and he loves them, even if it's hard to see.

Leo is a mess. Not that it's their choice, though. He is a Pet trained to take pain, a good punching bag for his master. He craves punishment, but never does anything to get his siblings in trouble; Star would never admit how much they appreciate that.

And Star. They were the first one, the one that Master brought home even after he saw them at their lowest. They have a simple thing to do; being perfect. Being cute is not that hard. Getting along with the new Pets Master bought from his friends is not that hard. What is hard is what's expected of them.

Master is important, and he has a lot of expensive things. Liam, for an example. Star isn't expensive. They still remember how much their former Master paid for them, it was $10 and no more.

Because they were ugly.

Master had liked them, even covered in dirt, and with their hair messy. Now they have to be perfect, to thank Master for everything. Even if that means Liam says they are dumb, or that they never get taken seriously, that's fine. They only have to be pretty, and everything else will be okay.

But right now...

"Master wants to see you." Star looks down at that ugly looking Pet. He is a guard dog, so he is strong, and still he crawls away when he sees Star. It makes them chuckle.

"Didn't you hear me? Master wants to see you. Or is that you don't want to obey?"

He's hiding in the shadows, and Star knows full well what is going on in his mind. All the times they had tricked him to get him in trouble.

"You want me to call him over? He's going to be so mad. But maybe that will for the best. A good beating will teach you your place."

And for the last, and obviously least important, Ray.

Master took him in right after Star, and it had been the most humiliating punishment Master made them endure. But then again, it was okay. Star made their own personal goal to make sure that idiot wouldn't get in the way for Master to love them. And they did a pretty good job, looking at how Ray obeyed almost every order.

He soon stops crawling away, and instead gets on his feet. He's tall, and strong, and still he tries to make himself as small as possible.

Star is in control.

Star is fine. Everything is okay. Star gets to be loved, they get to sleep in a comfortable bed. They knew that the new Pet won't change that. Master loves them. Right?

Right?...

Taglist:

---

If anyone wants to be added to the taglist please let me know :)

@watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees

@sola-whumping

@octopus-reactivated

@risk606

@otterfrost

[azulcrescent]

Hi Azul! :) I started following your silly scribbles about a year ago, and seeing Cheryl model how she came out to her friends and family in the comic helped me articulate my gender experience better with my wife and even come out to my friends and family. Thanks for sharing your art! I also wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're experiencing poor sleep and burnout lately. :( Those can make you feel awful. I've had a chronic illness for the past six years -- and I'm fully aware that's something separate, nor do I want to equate it with your experiences -- but, at risk of giving any unsolicited advice, I do wish someone had said something to me about this when I first felt those as well. Because I was pushing myself to work for 2 hours a day as a special education paraprofessional in a wheelchair due to fatigue and systemic dysfunctions throughout my body -- so I had to quit my job since I was making my health even worse. When I stopped working, I was fully bed bound for a time but even still kept pushing myself to attempt grad school online despite only being able to sit up for 5-10% of the day. My point is that, even when our bodies are burnt out, we still push ourselves because that's generally just our human nature to do. And I wish that during that time someone had gently said it's okay to slow everything down and listen to what my body was telling me it needed.

With slowing down, I also get that finances are a thing, and I wouldn't have been able to recover from severe to moderate ME/CFS without my wife working her butt off for us to cover medical expenses by switching jobs and upskilling. (She jokes that she has no more butt anymore because of those years :'(... )

So, although this is stepping into unsolicited advice, but as someone who was burnt out and constantly eepy for years, I feel like it would be remiss of me to not try to say something and just give a bullet point list of free things that helped my nervous system not be so overstimulated and tired but wired that I couldn't sleep and even when I did it was unrefreshing and yucky to wake up the next day:

•Search for "ally boothroyd yoga nidra" on YouTube and pick a 10 minute video •Do belly breathing to expand the diaphragm (one of the few ways we can give input to our parasympathetic nervous systems -- the rest, digest, and heal system) •When breathing, breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat to tell your body it can be calm •Spinal flossing in bed: start from your lowest vertebrae you can, try to isolate it with your muscles, and shift it up down left and right, then go up to the next one •Listen to how your body responds to foods: maybe try cutting out gluten and refined sugars for a week to see if it helps in any way; a lot of our immune system is in the gut, and being in a stressed state can cause our immune systems to mistake food molecules for pathogens which then activates the immune system and turns off the parasympathetic nervous system •Drop your jaw fully open like you're going to yawn, then stretch your tongue upward outside your mouth as far as it can go and stretch it around. This is a stretch for the muscles near your vagus nerve near your ear/neck behind the jaw to help them relax •Plan a bedtime routine for the thirty minutes before you go to bed and be consistent •Brain retraining: When you feel stressed or anxious about sleep or being burnt out, compassionately tell yourself "Stop, stop, stop." Thank that part of you for bringing up its concern, then remind that part of yourself that it doesn't need to worry anymore because you are working on recovering and healing. And if the insomnia or fatigue do happen, you have plans for what to do and will be okay. •Remember the conclusion from the American TV show Mythbusters: https://www.tumblr.com/gretchensinister/678474387179077632/one-of-the-most-life-changing-things-i-ever You're still getting rest even if you just close your eyes. You've talked about having ADHD, and while I don't have it, I get that it messes up brain chemicals and can contribute to both insomnia and burn out. There might be a reddit discussion that speaks to you better about medications or deficiencies. I hope you get to rest. Cheering for you. It's always fun to see your art. Thanks for what you do! :) Sleepy cat tax:

Glad to hear you like my comics! And thank you for the very informative and helpful info on sleeping better! Ill try to put your advice to use!

[ihatedean]

please help my baby get his ear surgery done<3

thank you for clicking read more :)

so after months of testing the vet informed us a few days ago that our cat does, in fact, have skin cancer. to get more specific it's actually squamous-cell carcinoma.

(text is in spanish but im sure google lens can translate pretty well.)

it's affecting the tip/side of his left ear and hasn't spread to his nose or the other ear, so the vet recommended surgery to get the ear removed as soon as we possibly can. this would be on september 2nd, this monday.

exams like x-rays and biopsies have already been pretty expensive so i'm making this post to hopefully offset the cost of his pinnectomy (ARS$180,000->USD$189) even just a little bit. the whole thing has been really stressing and adding to that a messed up family situation where i can't ask them for help, please trust me when i say i wouldn't do this if i didn't need to.

details for the fic commissions:

my ao3 account for reference

right now im working on stuff for supernatural and formula 1 so that's where my brain's at, mostly, but ive done a lot of writing for jojo's bizarre adventure (im Very fluent with jotaro and all part 3-4 characters) and for the argies in the room, i've even written stuff for los simuladores and el marginal. i have no issues writing in spanish (rioplatense).

im also comfortable writing for genshin impact. been playing for years and im familiar with the lore up until fontaine. i've been itching to write something for a while :)

im Very Very familiar with x reader fics and will do OC x Character or OC x OC gladly as long as you provide character art or detailed descriptions to help me capture them best.

im comfortable writing pretty much every ship for the fandoms i named and can do gen, teen, mature and explicit works. im open to all kinks and have a history of doing incest and age-gap pairings. im comfortable with most dark themes— will write dub-con, non-con, cnc, and want to hear your weirdly specific skinks. in general, it's easier to say what i will not do than what i will. no judgement, as long as you respect

what i will not do:

horror

gore

necrophilia

violent non-con or explicit non-con (mentioning it in the story is fine, but i will not write the actual scene)

scat

vore

race play (hateful imagery/racial slurs)

kidfic

for formula 1 im simply inept at doing maxiel and c2. in general, i struggle with max and carlos. won't write anything for lando, sorry. anything else from 2010 to 2024 is fine, and im open to AUs of any kind as well as gender bending :)

pricing

Tier 3 — USD$5 for 500 words. 5 slots open

Tier 2 — USD$10 for 1k to 3k words. 2 slots open

Tier 1 — USD$25 for 4k to 10k words. 2 slots open

if i exceed wordcount in any case, it's on me. i'm a yapper.

contact me here or ask for my gmail in tumblr dms ^^

i can only accept ppal for USD$. if you're in argentina and you're interested, dm me for mercadopago info :)

(if you just want to donate that's totally cool. i just felt weird asking for money without anything to offer. it's a me thing)

ppal link

if you read this whole thing, thank you. here is the boy himself. he's almost 11 years old, incredibly grumpy, manipulative, called ugly by almost all my friends, has already gone through eye surgery so that's why his eyes look Like That, and on the rare occasion he sits on my lap i literally cry.

please put sunscreen on your cats, especially if they have white hair like aki. we didn't know for the longest time that exposure to the sun could cause skin cancer on cats and by the time we knew and started doing it, it was too late.

[dartagnantt]

Circle of the Sands | What if circle of the land (desert) was more unique than a spell list

PDFs of this and more can be found over on at my Patreon here! I release everything for free, so your support makes this possible. I've also started making a new system based off of 5e, 6th Dawn! Become a patron and join the playtest.

My Kickstarter has only a week left! Become a weredragon before its too late! Get in on the tycanthropic awesome!

It's week 5 of our four week series on mayhaps, and so I do something different. This time, inspired by the new game I'm a player in, a desert themed druid.

Sand Veil

This ability was inspired by Gaara's shield of sand power. Originally I was to make it more expensive and use a pocket sand inspiration, letting you blind people who try and attack you in melee, but then I added spray of cards as a spell so it felt superfluous

Animated Sands

Sand monsters are cool. What if you could summon them?

Shifting Masses

Misty escape from the feylock is cool, what if you AND your sand monsters could do that, sandily?

Oh yes, and make all your summons sand, why not? Why not change the elementals? Because that wouldn't make sense. And the fire elementals would be shit out of luck in water

Animated Hordes

Not a lot of druid circles call for the spend two wild shapes cost on the level 10 feature. It'ls kind of neat. So here I give you the intended animated sands, but game balance is a thing

Quicksand Vortex

And here's what I did in lieu of making a quicksand spell, because I decided that would be awkward. Instead I have you tear a hole in space as a capstone. Very reasonable, I know.

Sandstorm

So we have Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Tornados, Full control over the weather, but no sandstorm spells? nah man.

Sand Tomb

What if we just dropped a heap of sand on top of people? Can I say that suffocation is a weird rule to work around? And why is this a sphere instead of a more typical conical shape as expected of a fallen heap of sand? As much as I wanted to troll the 5e shapes guide by making it a 20 ft cone pointed down, that probably would have caused needless confusion

And now to plug my stuff. I release homebrews weekly over on my Patreon. Anyone who pledges $1 or more per post don't have to wait a month to see them, and also help fund my being alive habit.

At the moment, they have exclusive access to the following:

To Shreds, You Say?

Chimeric Hunter Conclave

I Costs an Arm and a Leg

Skeletal Amagams

I also have four classes, and a splatbook over on DriveThrueRPG to check out:

The Rift Binder. A class specialising in summoning monsters and controlling the battlefield.

The Witch Knight. A class that combines swords and sorcery in the most literal way.

The Werebeast. A class that turns you into a half beast to destroy your foes.

The Beguiler. A spellcaster dedicated to illusions, enchantments, and general fuckery.

d'Artagnan's Adventurer Almanac. A compendium of races, subclasses, feats, spells, monsters and more!

[stmnn]

While im waiting for Kisame's design,,, do you have any hc for this AU you can share rn?,,,,

Hell yeah i do

Im actually working on he's design right now, so I'll try to finish it today.(　；∀；)

I am sure that the list below will be replenished

And you can actually write me you're ideas ( ´･ω･)

1. Obito

Tobi - In public (Deidara calls him this on a regular basis.).

Madara Uchiha - His teacher's name, which he uses in recitals.

2. Pain - His deputy, his right hand man.

Kisame - A close comrade

Deidara - More often fooling around together.

Conan is Pain's substitute.

3. His team call sign is (tsuki) moon.

4. Retains Toby's identity only under a mask, which he does not remove in public places.

5. Often overworked and tries to do his best.

6. Despite his desire to win, if someone on the team is seriously injured, Obito would rather take care of his comrade than continue the competition.

7. The least discomfort he feels in front of Kisame and Pain is when he takes off his mask.

8. Doesn't like it when Madara is mentioned, or attempts to make comparisons.

9. Catches panic attacks due to his claustrophobia.

10. He needs to be FORCED to rest.

1. Hidan

2. Suffers from various ailments due to his love of licking other people's blood. Kakuzu is tired of paying for his treatment.

3. Almost always walks around naked to the waist. He is always given sweaters and jackets, but he hangs them around his waist or neck.

4. A religious fanatic. (Obviously)

5. Before a round, he applies black paint to certain parts of his body. This is his "ritual", so his god Jashin grants good luck.

6. His team call sign is (kami) god

7. Always called first to perform, especially to wave his fists.

8. Asks Kakuzu to spar with him.

1. Deidara

2. Didn't like wearing big team coats, so they made him a more open, loose design that wouldn't interfere with using techniques.

3.The mouths on his hands are covered with gloves during normal stages.

He even has a zipper on his chest.

4. Always reacts violently to losses.

5. His hands often fall off at the worst possible moment..... which he blames on Kakuzu, not his own thoughtless actions.

6. His team call sign is (bakuhatsu) explosion.

1. Kisame

2. Fish ears...

3. Instead of Samehada, he has a Cricket Bat. (They still look alike)

4. Can perform melee rounds.

5. His team call sign is (Shaku) Shark.

6. Always seems overly violent to other teams, but among Akatsuki he is one of the most caring team members.

7. obvious babysitter for the Uchiha's.

8. cares about the overall health of the team.

9. I also want to give him a shark tail.... Yes.. What are you going to do to me? А?! WHAT?! GO AHEAD AND ATTACK.

1. Kakuzu

2. Usually does not perform, but will join Hidan and Kisame in a melee round if necessary.

3. All of the Akatsuki team's expenses come from his wallet. He allocates resources.

4. Usually patches up other people's wounds when needed.

5. Callsign - (Hatsu) Hearts.

6. Doesn't like solo performances in public, but may take part to blow off steam.