#but it would have to be a pretty short fic. very contained.

[nelkenbabe]

i may or may not have already started taking down a bunch of notes for the revamped lucanis romance :/

[player380]

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- disco pang pang

━━━ ↳ ❝ [ se-mi x f! reader ] ¡! ❞

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ PART TWO in which you try out the infamous disco pang pang ride with your friends in incheon, south korea, and end up having the ride moderator attempt to set you up with the stoic, pretty woman sitting next to you┊2.1k words

contains: potential ooc se-mi (we don't really know too much about her but my hyperfixation has deluded me to believe my own headcanons that were created by the bit we saw her in s2), fluff, some minor hints of sexual content, wlw, teaser x teased, & non-canonical nonsense, au!! the games never took place & se-mi is lowkey loaded (which i may write more about in another fic idea i have oops), i also am not very sure of any korean customs (im a white american) so please please please let me know if any of the manners of this are wrong so i can correct it, also this has not been proofread yet so enjoy any spelling or grammar errors <3

After much debate with your close girl friends, that you were on a trip into the big city with, they had practically dragged you to the long line of awaiting people to try out this silly ride. Each of their hands clasped tightly around your sweaty palms, forcing your feet to shuffle into your spot at the back of the line. It was a warm spring day, the sun beating down only to be combated by a pleasant breeze. So, of course, most would find themselves spending the day at the Wolmi Theme Park in South Korea. The three of you had already spent the majority of the day entertaining yourselves with other rides, though with yourself often choosing to opt out of riding many--given rollercoasters had a habit of making you queasy. Yet, after much convincing and deliberation, you had allowed them to take you on this ride. They had claimed that it wasn't that scary, and was oftentimes quite fun. But as you got into line and saw the ever-moving ride your stomach dropped and your face paled. Laughter and screams echoed around as the current set of riders were being bounced up and down whilst the ride spun everyone in round in differing speeds. As you watched this, you couldn't help but feel the corn dogs you just had thirty-minutes prior rising their way through your innards.

While you stood there, mouth agape, your friends had busied themselves with calling their boyfriends back home in the countryside. Snapping you out of your scared daze, was a smooth laugh from beside--even smoother words following in pursuit.

"You look like you've just seen a ghost," a woman laughed from beside you, your eyes narrowing as they traveled up the body beside you in line. Taking notice of her skinny ripped black jeans, the loose tank top that had a bit of the side tucked into the waistband of her jeans, and a black leather jacket over her shoulders. Her face was adorned in few piercings: just one silver ring on her lip, the other a silver ring on her left nostril (a gem-incrusted sun on where the ring met the visible skin). Her hair was short, some strands of her black hair covering the right side of her head slightly. Her narrow features complimented her stylistic choices. And by all means: the woman was completely, and utterly gorgeous.

After a few minutes of silence, your eyes only widening upon seeing the pretty woman, she spoke up again. "Are you alright? Surely you haven't actually seen a ghost," she replied, her thin brows furrowing slightly as she stared at you--her head cocked to the side just a hair. She was concerned for your wellbeing. How cute.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," you blinked, snapping out of your haze and returning your gaze to the still-moving ride--swallowing hard. "I just don't like rides like this," you added and nodded awkwardly. "Not really my thing."

The woman beside you nodded, letting out a quiet hum as her gaze follows yours up to the ride. "It's not that bad," she commented, letting out a quiet laugh. "Just make sure to hold on tight."

"What?" You asked, misunderstanding her words and her eyes widening slightly.

The woman laughed harder, shaking her head. "The bars, hold on tight to the bars," she corrected, tilting her head. "Or your friends."

You suddenly felt the presence of your two friends who had gotten off facetime with their partners, and were now standing beside you once more--staring at the taller woman with slightly furrowed brows. The woman just nodded once, before turning back around and facing the front of the line. Leaving you to suffer the teasing looks and questions from your friends for the remainder of the wait in line.

Eventually, after growing slightly impatient from standing still for so long, it was finally your group's turn to file onto the circular ride. The eager group of riders all excitedly piled on, sounds of annoyed groans coming from the people who were cut off and had to wait another round.

Your friends rushed to a spot, sitting on the seats and giggling excitedly. Their hands reached behind themselves to grab the plastic and metal bars--wrapping their arms around the slick material in hopes to stay (mostly) still throughout the ride.

You sat there awkwardly, trying to mimic your friend's actions but you found yourself struggling to keep yourself comfortable. You didn't realize the woman who was in front of you in line was sitting beside you until you felt her hands gently guiding your arms to wrap around the bars--her hand resting there for a moment and looking over you.

"Comfy?" She asked you, raising a brow slightly.

Your face, now red, moved up to meet her gaze--nodding awkwardly. "Yeah, thanks," you said, voice quiet, and pressing a small smile up as another bout of gratitude. Her dark eyes traveled over you for a second, smiling and giving a nod back. She moved to sit beside you, leaving the width of a person and a half between you two.

Unfortunately for your humility, the ride moderator had noticed the small interaction and so once the ride started slowly spinning--your face all but heated when you heard the moderator's loud voice call out your descriptor over the speakers. Little did you know the running internet joke that if the moderator called you out, you were done for.

"Are you two together?" The male moderator's voice called out, "you, tweed skirt and the h/c hair. And you, short black hair and the leather jacket," he described. Your heart all but dropped. Before you could reply, the woman next to you beat you to it:

"No, we aren't," she yelled, her voice loud over the mechanics of the machine and the loud sounds from around the theme park.

"Do you want to be?" The moderator called out, a hint over amusement carrying over in his voice.

You shook your head, laughing awkwardly. "No, no it's okay. I came here with my friends," you replied, brows furrowing in embarrassment--trying to ignore the giggles from your friends beside you.

"Ah, no, no, let me fix that," the moderator said, laughing, and your heart dropped from his mischievous tone.

Suddenly, the ride was tilted all the way to the left side and began bouncing slightly. Lifting you up and down from your seat, your sweaty hands barely holding onto the plastic bars as gravity tried to pull you to where the woman beside you was sitting. She seemed to keep her body planted firmly--hardly moving. The ups and downs got harsher, and before you knew it, one of your arms slipped from the bar and you fell slightly down to your left. You felt another leg wrap around yours--realizing it was the woman's, who was trying to keep you steady so you didn't fall.

You grunted as you moved to steady yourself back onto the seat, pulling your leg from hers and attempting to grab back onto the bars. Before you could succeed, another unexpected bump made your other arm slip--letting out a yelp as you stumbled off the seat and about to start rolling on the metal floor of the ride. You didn't go very far before you found your body ensnared by both the woman's legs--holding your torso tightly as to make sure you didn't fall anymore.

As the bumps continued, you felt one of her hands grab your arm and pull you up--setting you on her lap. Your face burned with embarrassment and awkwardness at the entire situation--wishing you hadn't even let your friends convince you to get on this stupid ride to begin with. Her legs entangled with yours, an arm wrapping around your waist and pressing your back tight against her front. Her fingers found purchase on your hip, pressing into the part tightly.

"Are you okay?" She asked, tilting her head so her mouth was right next to your ear, her voice quiet. God was her voice attractive.

You nodded, the consistent bumps making the two of you rise up from your seats occasionally--but your landings were cushioned by the woman's body beneath you. It was almost strangely nice. No. You shouldn't think like that. She was an entire stranger. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks," you replied, turning your head slightly--though not realizing how close your faces would be. You quickly turned your head back around forward--your cheeks the color of a tomato.

As the ride continued on, the moderator still continued to pick on the two of you, moving you two around. Even with the woman's firm grip on your body, you had somehow ended up turned around--your legs straddling her hips. Her jacket had been moved to wrap around your waist so no one could see how your skirt rid up, allowing some form of modesty. There were some other instances of other people flailing around and landing on others, however you could hardly pay any mind to the others on this ride given your situation. This continued on throughout the ride's duration, before eventually the machine came to a stop--the moderator thanking everyone, though still finding a way to insert a tease about the two women's interactions throughout the ride.

You shakily got off of the woman--pulling your skirt down and untying the jacket around your waist, holding it back out to her. "Um, thanks for this. And for making sure I don't fall," you muttered, looking down at your feet. When she took the jacket, you quickly took off and found your friends at the exit of the ride--trying to ignore the burning throughout your body as their incessant teases fueled your embarrassment.

Before you could get far, a female voice called out and you turned around--your eyes widening as the woman before approached, slightly out of breath from the small jog. Your friends looked at each other with raised brows, both backing away to leave you two to yourselves.

"Oh-- um, hi," you said, brows furrowing slightly. "Did you need something?"

"How long are you in Incheon for? Or do you live here?" She asked, her chest still rising up and down with rapid breaths. She almost sounded hopeful, and a bubbly filling filled your stomach. As if someone had opened a cage of butterflies between your ribcages.

You blinked, looking away from her for a moment. "No, I don't live here. Just visiting with my friends... but I'm not sure. A couple more days, at least. We didn't really have an end date. Why?" You asked, licking your lips slightly--and you watched as her eyes flickered to your slightly damp, pink lips for a moment before she looked back up at your eyes.

"Let me take you sight-seeing around the city, yeah?" She asked, despite her cool demeanor, she almost seemed nervous. "You don't have to, but it'd--"

"Sure," you cut her off, flashing an almost-nervous smile of your own. "I'd like that, my friends and I aren't really super knowledgeable around anyway. I'm sure they'd like it too."

Her face flickered with some unknown expression and she shook her head. "No, not them. Just you... and I," she said, sucking in a long breath.

"Oh," you breathed, your brows raising. "Yeah, my answer is still the same. I would like that," you answered, emphasizing the 'I' in your sentence. The woman nodded, any nervousness or tension immediately lifted from her demeanor.

"Good," she said, grinning. "Let me get your number," she said--pulling out her phone from her back pocket, opening it, and shoving it in your direction with the screen showing an empty contact form to fill out. You nodded, and took the phone to begin typing in some things in each slot. "I'm Se-mi, by the way," she added, her eyes watching you intently--studying every and all aspect of your face.

Once you finished, you looked back up at Se-mi and handed her phone. "Well... just give me a message, Se-mi. I should be free, well, if I can ever escape those two for a moment," she laughed, tilting her head back to where her friends stood--watching the two of you interact with large grins.

Se-mi nodded, watching your form retreat as you handed her phone back and went back to your friends who immediately began pestering you for information on your new 'hot date', as they called it. She looked back down at her phone, studying your name on the contact--trying to burn it into her memory.

"Y/n...," she said slowly, nodding as she enjoyed the feel of it on her tongue. Knowing full well she was going to be saying that name for a long time. Or, well, at least she hoped.

Who knew your friends dragging you onto a silly ride could lead to any of this.

[belovedhoon]

simulation

pairing: camboy! sunghoon x bff! reader genre: smut, fluff fandom: enhypen wc: 4100+ contains: smut, fluff, unprotected sex (just dont do this), recording of sex, perv y/n, roughish sex, choking, slight size kink taglist: @st1llm0nster , @hmusunoo , @lonelybutterflytae divider credit: @cafekitsune

synopsis: sunghoon is a very popular camboy with a huge following unbeknownst to his best friend y/n. what happens when y/n stumbles across ‘iceprince02’? what happens when she realizes it’s her best friend sunghoon, surely she’ll stop watching right?

fic under the cut >>>>>

Y/N was scrolling through a popular cam sight when she stumbled across ‘iceprince02’ who was live at the moment of her endless scrolling to find something or rather someone good to get a quick self-made orgasm through. What made her click on this particular camboy was his pale-toned stomach and pretty cock. She clicked on his live after it had prompted her to make an account, and she came up with the username ‘xo_darling_xo’ on a whim. When she was finally able to click on the live, her eyes widened at the man’s deep husky voice. ‘He sounds so hot’ she thought to herself. She watched as he had his hand wrapped around his long pale cock, the girth looked like it would stretch her out just right. Y/N got comfortable in her bed, up against her headboard, and began to slowly bring her hand down her chest slowly.

Y/N brought her hands to the waistband of her sleep shorts before stopping. Was she really about to get off to some random dude jacking his shit on camera? Yes, yes she was, Y/N was down bad, so very down bad… You slid your hands down towards your waistband again this time not hesitating to slip your hand into your shorts and rub gently against your throbbing clit, mentally patting yourself on the back for forgoing panties tonight. You observed your laptop screen closely as the man on screen who called himself ‘ice prince’ dragged his hand slowly up and down his cock, squeezing at the base when he would feel himself getting close to his high. He didn’t want to come so quickly and ruin the fun so soon, he knew that he could go again after he came but he really didn’t feel like overstimulating himself too much today…so he just stuck to edging himself. You watched entranced at the sight of his buff arms flexing every time he stroked his very hard cock. How were you feeling so close just from rubbing your clit? That’s unheard of for you, it usually never being enough stimulation for you. You continued to watch with bated breath as he moved his hand faster, his deep groans and grunts going straight to your cunt. The closer ‘ice prince’ got to his high the higher-pitched his moans got and you swear you’ve never heard something so melodic and beautiful.

You could tell the very moment he was about to reach his peak by the way his stomach tensed and by his staccato moans. You were right because a few seconds later you watched as he let out one last loud groan and his thick white release squirted out spilling onto his hands and stomach. You let out a moan of your own as you came to the sight. ‘Ice prince’ stayed mostly silent while he was recovering letting out an occasional whine as he moved his hand very slowly up and down his spent length to draw out his orgasm.

As ‘ice prince’ got up off his bed to turn the live off, you noticed something in his room that shook you to your core…it’s just a coincidence, right? There is no way that you just saw the flag you had made for your best friend on his wall behind ‘ice prince’ when he moved to grab tissues right? There’s no way at all…You studied the room that this ‘ice prince’ guy was in and the realization dawned on you, wondering how you didn’t put it together sooner that this was Sunghoon…your best friend and roommate. The voice alone should have brought up some red flags but I guess in your lust-haze you didn’t even notice. Before you could process what was going through your head, ‘ice prince’ or Sunghoon rather ended the live. The post-nut clarity hitting you hard. There is no way you just came to the image of your best friend Sunghoon jerking off in his room…

You truly didn’t know how to feel about the whole situation, on one hand, you felt guilty for watching your best friend jack off, but on the other hand, you felt even more turned on at the fact that it was indeed your best friend you had just watched climax on camera… How will you face Sunghoon after this without remembering his pretty moans every time he talks?

You stayed in your room for a few seconds longer before deciding to go knock on Sunghoon’s door just to confirm it was him, not directly but just to see if there were any clues to confirm what you had just witnessed. When you knocked on his door, you heard a quiet ‘one second’ and then a few seconds after he opened the door still shirtless btw… You stayed quiet just staring at his toned chest. Sunghoon raised a thick eyebrow at your silence and intense gaze.

“Y/N? You good? Do you need something? I’m kinda in the middle of something…” Sunghoon said his voice confused yet rushed. He really didn’t need you finding out about his ‘secret’ job right now…even if it did pay the bills. He still had his camera set up, and the tissues by his bed, he hadn’t had time to get rid of the evidence before you came knocking at his door. Your eyes flitted up to his at his words, breaking you out of your filthy thoughts. You gave him one last glance before pushing past him into his room before he could protest to see his camera set up in front of his bed and you froze at the sight. Guess your suspicions were right… it was him you had just watched masturbate on camera for thousands of people. You would have never expected this from Park Sunghoon.

You stood there staring at the camera before your eyes were drawn to the tissues on his bedside table and then the flag that you had just seen on his porn live… Sunghoon watched as you observed his room and being the clever guy he is put everything together and realized you must have stumbled across his cam page. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and then turning to you and noticing your flushed face, sweaty neck, and your eyes blown wide with lust. He smirked, you weren’t disgusted no you were far from it…no you were clearly aroused. You had to of watched the full live through there’s no way you hadn’t or you wouldn’t have realized it was him.

“Y/N…I know you know what you just saw was me…and quite frankly I think you liked it, like the little pervert that you are…” Sunghoon said, his tone smug. Your eyes widened at his words, you hadn’t expected him to know you knew about his dirty little secret. You started to protest but before you could finish your sentence, he was suddenly right in front of you his breath fanning over your face. You stared up into his eyes and watched as they darkened at your flustered reaction. You truly couldn’t help the little whine that escaped your lips when he brought one of his hands to your waist and the other to your face caressing your cheek.

Sunghoon looked into your eyes gazing intensely as he brought his lips closer to your own, giving you time to back away if you wished to, if anything you moved slightly closer. He took that as initiative and closed the gap between you two crushing his lips to your own. You moaned into his mouth at the feeling of his soft plump lips on your own. You opened your mouth as soon as you felt him brushing his tongue on your bottom lip asking for entrance. Sunghoon slipped his tongue into your mouth pulling you closer to his body where you could feel his cock growing hard against your stomach. Finally, he pulled away so that the two of you could catch your breath.

“Now that you know my little secret, you should join me one day hm?” Sunghoon said with a smirk, chuckling darkly at the way you panicked. You stuttered not knowing how to react or what to say. There was no way in hell Sunghoon just insinuated you joining him… You just stared at him your eyes comically wide and he just laughed at your reaction before leading your stiff body to his bedroom door and all but pushing you out and closing it, you could hear the sound of it locking seconds later. You stood outside his door frozen, not properly processing what had just happened. You shook out of the weird feeling before going to your room and masturbating a second time remembering how Sunghoon’s lips felt on your own before drifting off to bed, with you guessed it…thoughts of your best friend once again.

The next few days passed by in a blur with exams coming up right around the corner. Your mind is finally preoccupied with something other than that odd situation that conspired with Sunghoon. Sunghoon seemed to forget about what had happened or maybe he was just that good at pretending it didn’t happen. It was pretty awkward for you the next morning, not knowing how to react to what had happened, but with Sunghoon he made it pretty easy to get over the initial awkwardness. The next passing days got better and better and finally, you and Sunghoon were back to your normal dynamic, well as close to normal as you could get with the fact that you couldn’t help but continue to watch his lives…not that he knew of course…you’d never let him know that fact.

Exams came and went for the both of you and finally, the semester was over which you couldn’t be happier about. Now you could relax and not have to worry about studying so much. Now that you didn’t have the distractions of exams…your mind went straight back to the night Sunghoon kissed you with so much passion and the words he said to you…surely he was joking right…? The way he said it, it seemed like he was being serious, but he also hasn’t asked you since so you were conflicted. Was you supposed to ask him? Were you supposed to go to him? At this point you had to find out, your mind was just so plagued with Sunghoon that you just couldn’t resist knowing if he was telling the truth and actually really did want you to make a video with him. So you did what any logical person would do…you walked out of your room clad in pink lacy lingerie and a matching silk robe and marched your way over to Sunghoon’s room and knocked on the door.

You heard shuffling around before the door was opened and Sunghoon was stood there bare-chested once again, bringing a sense of deja vu to you. He stared at you expectantly waiting for you to say something. You both just stood there for a few seconds more before you finally mustered up the courage to ask him what you were there to ask, the confidence from before leaving as soon as you saw Sunghoon’s pale bare chest. God, you were so down bad.

“I…Uh…I was uh…wondering if you were…if you were being serious about what you said a couple of weeks ago…” You finally stuttered out, your voice barely above a whisper. One of his eyebrows rose at your muttered words, processing what you said before a sinister grin appeared on his face. He studied how you couldn’t even look him in the eyes and how your hands were twitching with nerves. Suddenly you felt him lift your head to make you gaze straight into his dark eyes.

“Ah, I thought you’d never come crawling back…I was dead serious about what I said. I was actually just about to start another live, which I know you knew, seeing that you watch every one of my shows and know my schedule.” Sunghoon said, his tone cocky. Your eyes widened at that, how did he know that you watched all of his lives? He smiled at your shocked expression.

“You think you’re sneaky ‘darling’… you left my page up on your laptop when I borrowed it, I saw your user name…’xo_darling_xo’ very cute by the way. It suits you. I noticed every time you would join in Y/N, made me that much harder to know that my pervy little best friend was touching herself while watching me…” Sunghoon said seductively, his voice almost a growl at the end. Oh how he wished you knew that every time he did one of his cam shows he was touching himself to the thought of you in your room, your small fingers buried inside your wet cunt moaning out his name.

Sunghoon opened his door wider, gesturing you to walk inside his room. You gulped walked in slowly and stopped once you heard the door close and lock. Your senses were heightened it seemed like, your nerves going haywire. You listened closely to Sunghoon’s footsteps as he walked closer to you, and then suddenly the footsteps stopped and you felt goosebumps arise at the feeling of his hot breath fanning across the back of your neck. You shivered at the feeling of Sunghoon gently turning you around, his touch scorching your skin, the feeling electric.

“Are you sure you want this Y/N? We don’t have to film this…” Sunghoon said softly, wanting to make sure you were sure and comfortable. You nodded your head eagerly, the thought of Sunghoon claiming you in front of his thousands of fans made you uncomfortably wet. Sunghoon clicked his tongue.

“Use your words, pretty girl.” Sunghoon said sternly, holding your face in his hand and squeezing your cheeks roughly. You whined at the feeling of his rough hand on your face.

“Yes Sunghoon…I want this…please take me on live…” You let out with a whimper. Sunghoon groaned at your desperation, his cock growing impossibly harder at your pleas. He smirked before moving his hand from your face bringing his hands down to your plump ass grabbing it firmly before pulling away from you entirely, you moaning at the loss of his body heat and touch.

“Alright baby, I’m going to start the live normally and then I’m going to announce that you’re joining…then I’m going to absolutely ruin you…” Sunghoon said his tone sultry and deep. You smiled and nodded at his words signaling you heard him loud and clear. He smiled back before he turned on the camera and his laptop, starting the live.

“Hi, my loves…we’re doing something different tonight. I have a special guest joining tonight’s live, someone very dear and special to me…I hope you all can treat her with as much enthusiasm as you do I.” Sunghoon said out loud to his streamers. He looked up at you before gesturing you to join him on the bed, to which you shyly did.

You sat on the bed beside Sunghoon, and he looked over at you smiling brightly then you both turned to the laptop to read the comments flooding in. ‘she’s so pretty…what should we address her as?’ one of the comments asked. Sunghoon thought before telling them to call you ‘darling’ seeing as that was the name you used when you first encountered his cam shows. You continued to watch as comments kept coming in commenting about how you and ‘ice prince’ were so cute together and how you two seemed like a perfect fit. There were also the dirty comments about how they wished for ‘ice prince’ to ruin you. So that’s exactly what Sunghoon planned to do…

Sunghoon gently laid you on your back on his bed, looking into your eyes for discomfort the whole time he did so. You looked up at him with eager, desperate eyes, Sunghoon’s eyes darkening in desire. He undid your robe slowly revealing your pretty lingerie-clad body, and he groaned at the sight of you all dolled up for him. He slipped the robe off your body completely and brought his hands to your bra and unclipped it taking that off as well. His eyes zeroed in on your hard nipples and he couldn’t help but bring his mouth to the right one and begin sucking roughly, his hand going to the other one massaging it with a firm grip. You moaned out at the feeling of his tongue swirling around your erect nipple. Your hips rose trying to seek friction on your needy cunt, Sunghoon hissing at the feeling of your warmth grinding against his hard cock. Sunghoon let go of your nipple with a pop before he brought his hands to your soaked panties and slid them down your legs, tossing them on the floor beside your robe. He took off his pants, leaving him in just his briefs, and then placed his lips on yours kissing you intensely. Sunghoon began to grind his clothed cock into your clit and you couldn’t stop the whines that escaped your lips, the feeling so intense.

“Please…” You begged him, you felt like you were going to explode with how pent-up you were. Sunghoon just smirked down at you, enjoying his teasing torture on you and your body, you were just so responsive to his touch, and that made him impossibly harder. Suddenly he pulled away from you and you protested at the feeling of his body warmth gone. He just clicked his teeth and pulled his briefs down, throwing them on the floor. You could feel your mouth watering at the sight of his thick pale cock…the one you’ve been fantasizing about for weeks… You needed him in your mouth right now or you think you might die.

Sunghoon noticed the feral look in your eyes, knowing what you wanted at that moment. He moved over to where you were lying on the bed and stood and front of you in a way that was blocking the camera setup. You got up on your knees crawling toward him, you bent down toward his throbbing cock, your ass in the air. You looked up at Sunghoon through your eyelashes and studied his face and how he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the motion. You move your hand towards him and gripped his large cock in your grasp, your hand looking tiny compared to his length. He moaned as soon as you made contact with him. You smiled innocently up at him as you brought your mouth to his pink tip. You took him further into your mouth before pulling off and then doing it again. Sunghoon got tired of your teasing real quick and grabbed your hair and pushed you further onto his cock. You gagged at the sudden intrusion and moved your hands to his thick muscular thighs gripping on for dear life as Sunghoon began to thrust his hips harshly, his tip hitting the back of your throat repeatedly.

Sunghoon let out deep grunts at the exertion of his thrusts and he let out an occasional long drawn-out moan at the feeling of your throat constricting around his throbbing cock. You weren’t any better honestly, letting out moans and whines at the way Sunghoon was abusing your throat. You could feel yourself dripping down your thighs and onto the sheets below you. Sunghoon’s moans grew higher in pitch the closer he got to his climax before he suddenly groaned out that he was about to cum. He grabbed your head forcing you all the way onto his cock and cumming inside your mouth, his cock pulsating at the intensity of it. You let out a moan at the feeling of his warm cum coating your throat and mouth. Sunghoon pulled out of your mouth slowly and moaned at the sight of his cum pooling at the sides of your mouth. He then pulled you up and crashed his mouth onto yours, not caring that he had just come into your mouth.

Sunghoon pulled away from the kiss and pushed you back onto the bed crawling between your spread legs. He started to kiss up your thighs, avoiding where you needed him most. If you were going to tease him, he was gonna do it 10x worse…

“Please…I need you…” You whimpered out grasping his hair between your fingers and tugging him closer to your core. Sunghoon moaned at the stinging on his scalp. Finally, he brought his mouth to your clit, licking it softly before taking it into his mouth and sucking on it harshly. You yelled a quick ‘fuck!’ at the feeling. Sunghoon looked up into your eyes as he brought two of his fingers to your slick entrance and pushed them inside you. You were a moaning, squirming mess as Sunghoon feasted on you. You could feel your high fast approaching, so you warned him, but before you could reach your much-needed high, Sunghoon removed his fingers and let go of your clit with a loud pop. Your eyes shot open at the feeling of your high being stolen away from you so rudely. Sunghoon just smirked at you, popping his finger into his mouth and moaning at your taste.

“If you want to cum, you’re going to cum on my cock darling…” Sunghoon said smugly, raising an eyebrow. You sighed nodding your head. Sunghoon then climbed on top of you, his chain dangling above your face and you couldn’t help but whine at how sexy he looked with his hair mussed up and his eyes blown wide with lust for you. You felt as Sunghoon aligned himself with your entrance, pushing just the tip inside you. Your eyes closed at the feeling of your walls adjusting to his head. Sunghoon slowly began to push himself into you, grunting at how tight you felt around him. You whimpered as you struggled to adjust to his huge size.

“Shh darling, you’re okay…You can take it…” Sunghoon wheezed out, trying so hard not to just thrust forward. You just felt so good around him, so tight. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he was bottomed out inside you. He stayed still for a few more moments so that you could completely adjust before he began to thrust into you at a steady pace. You kept moaning loudly at the feeling of his cock dragging in and out of your walls. You could feel your high approaching once more, still feeling sensitive from your high being taken away earlier. Sunghoon could feel himself getting close as well, but he wanted you to come before he did, so he brought one of his hands to your clit and began to run it harshly. He picked up his pace until he was pounding into you as hard as he could, his headboard hitting against the wall in a repeated ‘thump, thump, thump’ sound. Sunghoon brought his other hand up to your neck, squeezing slightly and that was your downfall, being pushed over the edge as soon as you felt him choking you. You screamed out as you let your orgasm take over your body, clenching around Sunghoon tightly, your juices soaking his cock as you came hard. Sunghoon lets out a long drawn-out groan at the feeling, cumming right after you. You could feel his warm cum painting your walls and moaned at the oversensitivity. Sunghoon thrust a few more times to draw out both of your orgasms, pushing his cum deeper inside you, before pulling out of you.

Sunghoon said goodbye to the viewers and then turned off the camera. He then walked into his ensuite bathroom and grabbed a wet rag to clean you up. He walked back to where you were passed out on his bed in exhaustion. He smiled softly at the sight. You were so cute to him and he couldn’t help but fall more in love with you at that moment…you looked so peaceful and content. Sunghoon cleaned you up gently, slipping one of his shirts onto your sleeping body putting on a pair of boxers onto himself, and slipping into the bed beside you pulling you towards him. One of your eyes opened at the motions and you let out a small yawn and snuggled closer to him with a cute happy smile on your face. Sunghoon pulled the covers onto you both and thought about how you two were going to have to talk in the morning about what had conspired, but for now, he was going to hold you close to him. So he did just that drifting off to sleep, exhaustion taking over him. He didn’t know what the future would hold for you two but as long as you were happy, he was happy…

[onlyhereforpazzi]

Let me be your rock 🪨 (get to because my last name is stone.. I have crippling debt..)

Warnings: NSFW contains smut (finger A!r Eating out p! Scissoring) angst mentions of running away from home.

A sort of fluffy fic :)

Enjoy :)

It started off small. Sharing little moment’s in Azzi’s room, hugs from behind, little pecks to the cheek, cuddling late at night, long welcoming hugs that were a bit more than just friendly, and hand holding everywhere they went. Azzi’s dad Tim would make jokes that Paige and Azzi were attached to the hip since birth, Paige would just laugh at that. But then they got risky with the end of the year coming soon they felt and needed to rush things, Azzi became just as clingy as Paige and they got a lot less demure with their touches and acts of effect.

 Paige laid next to Azzi in her queen size bed rubbing her stomach softly as she pecked her lips against Azzi’s every few seconds whispering sweet nothings into her ears, such as.. “Such a pretty girl Az..” “Look at my princess..” “Gonna dream of you every night ma..” Until Azzi finally put a stop to it by pinning Paige down with a slick move. “Whoa ma-” A startled Paige said looking up at the younger girl, adjusting her hands so one was on her ass the other on her hip smirking in that cheesy way she knew Azzi loved.

“Oh you are such a dumbass..” Azzi mumbled softly, moving a hand to the blonde’s cheek leaning down and pecking her lips in such an easy motion like banking a layup or a floater to the two hoopers. “My dumbass though..” The younger girl smiles and pecks her lips again. 

The blonde looks up at the younger girl. “Love being your dumbass,” She paused for a moment before adding “as long as I get to see that ass shake ma.” Paige was then met with a playful smack from her best friend on her arm. “What Az it is true!” Paige laughed and rolled over so the younger girl was under her.

“Yeah but is it so inappropriate!” Azzi said as if half of the stuff they have done in this very bed (or in the shower) was any better. Luckily Azzi used her brains and covered her mouth with her hand. “Don’t you even think about it Bueckers..”

“You love me Az, I know it..” The blonde smiled and pecked the younger girl's lips before whispering playfully in a seductive voice. “But you know maybe later I can show you inappropriate things.” She ran her finger down to the younger girl's shorts with a smirk, before doing her classic ‘rizz-hands’ grinning ear to ear. “Dork..” Azzi mumbled pecking her lips again, a knock at the door prevented Paige from deepening the kiss. Paige groans and rolls off Azzi so she can get up. Azzi opens the door to find Tim, the man was tall standing at 6 '7 and was a stocky man developing a bit of a dad bod from being off the court for so long, most guys didn’t ask Azzi out because her dad was so scary. Deep down he is like a big old teddy bear. “Hey girls, dinner is ready! Azzi you need to clean up your room after dinner hun.” Azzi nodded and Paige smiled before standing up and following Azzi downstairs to the dining area. The Fudd house was well kept and generally clean, except for the couch which was covered in Azzi’s two younger brothers controllers and such. Paige sat next to Azzi and placed her hand on her thing, rubbing gently as they waited for the dinner to be set in front of them. “So how was your day y’all?” Azzi’s mother Katie asked, her voice had a twang to it that made her seem more stern then she was. She looked at her two younger sons who instantly stopped messing around with each other. “Jose, remember to put away your clothes. I have asked you three times this week alone.”

Paige had grown used to this, it was nice having siblings in the house all the time and two loving parents even if they weren’t actually hers. Paige was only three when Bob and Amy got a divorce, it took her till she was seven to figure out why. She used to blame herself. It was a bad habit she developed, someone was to get hurt in court. She must have not tried enough to prevent that. It was horrible, when she found out Azzi tore her Azzi she blamed herself for not being there and not kissing her all better, not holding her in person (all they did was Facetime), not having Azzi squeeze her thighs around Paige’s head as she.. When Bob and his current wife had Drew, Paige was so happy to have a younger sibling she could treat like a little baby. Often Azzi was sent photos of Paige and Drew, in return Paige would get silly pictures of Azzi or her brothers, which she always kept in case she needed to make a quick roast on them. “My day was good Katie thank you for asking..” Paige smiled looking at the women who helped bring life to this goddess next to her currently. She held Azzi’s hand under the table while they ate and enjoyed the food. Soon they finished eating and Paige took the honor of taking Azzi’s plate to the kitchen and washing it well. Azzi watched Paige do so, before trailing behind her holding her mother’s and father’s plate. “Oh hello there madam Fudd..” Paige grinned at her cheesy words, taking the plates and pecking the younger girl's cheek. “I must say madam Fudd you look absolutely delicious in those jeans.” The blonde's eyes drifted down to her ass in those jeans smirking. 

“My eyes are up here Bueckers..” The younger girl hopped onto the counter looking at her best friend washing the dishes before walking over placing her hands on her thighs rubbing softly looking up at her. “Hm?” The younger girl hummed in a questioning tone looking at the older girl. “Nothing, just admiring this beautiful girl in front of me..” Paige grinned and pecked her lips softly against the younger girl who returned the kiss before pulling away. “Mmm, love those kisses..” The blonde began to kiss the curly haired girl's cheeks and jawline. “So perfect..” Eventually Azzi pushed Paige off of her and they went back up to Azzi’s room. Paige began to get ready for bed which included taking off her clothes. Azzi had seen Paige naked a few times but that didn’t matter. Paige undresses quickly before helping Azzi undress. It was difficult for the younger girl to deal with her injury. “Thank you P..” The blonde nodded and kissed the younger girl in a ‘your welcome’ fashion. The older girl helped Azzi get dressed until her body was dressed in short shorts and an oversized shirt, Paige got dressed in some flannel Pj pants and an oversized shirt that read ‘Hopkins basketball’.

Paige laid down next to Azzi in her bed rubbing her back gently, her touch soft against her even softer skin. “There you go Az..” Paige mumbled quietly, “Love you so much.. Gonna be here forever for you..” Azzi smiled before rolling over and kissing Paige, kissing her until her lips were swollen and she needed to catch her breath. The blonde moved down and kissed her neck softly. “Love this girl..” Paige mumbled softly kissing down her neck. Paige backed off studying her neck, looking at the slight mark on the neck of the girl. “Look at that baby..” Azzi rolled her eyes, pinning Paige to the bed smiling as they cuddled and tickled each other, acting like the teens that they were thrown into adulthood at 17 and 18 due to picking the career of basketball called the next greats hold back due to the injuries. Giving them a wider view of the world, being thrown into the world of live television during the USA basketball olympics or even just being told you are the greatest in the country added pressure, and pressure, and even more you guessed it pressure until they couldn’t take it. They were lucky to have each other to be each other's crunches, that supported their legs that held them back. “Paige?” Azzi mumbled and Paige hummed softly in reply. “What college did you choose?” “Oh um.. I have chosen Uconn, Geno seems like a great coach. He has coached the greats like Sue Bird, Taurasi, Stewie..” Paige smiled at Azzi before continuing. “Soon to be great Paige Madison Bueckers..” Azzi punched her arm softly, rolling her eyes. “Yeah.. Azzi isn't that far away from Virginia or Minnesota, I mean it is quite a bit away from Washington and like Montana but that doesn’t matter really. It isn’t like I will get drafted and go to the Storms or Wings..” “Yeah I know I just..” Azzi began but didn’t finish looking up at Paige whose blue eyes had an understanding look. “I just am scared P.. what if I don’t get drafted if my injury holds me back. I have my good grades but basketball.. It is my life P..” “Hey hey no you will get drafted in the future and I will be right there watching you cheering you on.” Paige held the younger girl's face in her hands. “We can be roommates in college, we could share a bed and have some fun every few nights.” Paige raised her eyebrows and pecked Azzi’s nose softly. “Azzi nothing is holding you back, you are the greatest player of your class. Prove it to the world, and you know maybe I will take that stupid fucking elderberry stuff again just for you.” 

Azzi laughed at the last thing Paige said before leaning in and kissing her softly. “Mmm okay but you can’t run out of the house..” Paige kissed her back gently smiling as she rubbed the hand of the younger girl. Paige pulled away gently. “No promises on that..” She leaned back and kissed her again. “Do you know when your parents are going to your brother's little thing?” Azzi shook her head before grabbing her phone to check her calendar. Paige kissed her neck gently as she did so, wanting the younger girl to feel loved. “His thing is in an hour and he wants to be there like 30 minutes early so probably in 10 minutes they will leave..” Azzi said, stroking the blonde hair of the older girl. The blonde groaned complaining that it was too long of a wait and Azzi should just let her have some fun right now. “Paige you can wait ten minutes..” Azzi smiled at the older girl, kissing her lips softly.

 “Ugh you are so mean to me..” Paige mumbled kissing the younger girl back acting as if they didn’t go four months before even having the conversation. “I love you Azzi but man you bully me..” the blonde joked and teased the younger girl.

Azzi pulled out her phone and scrolled through it while Paige clung to her, once they heard the garage open Paige grinned ear to ear. “Oh man are you excited babe?” Azzi asked, looking up at her Paige who nodded eagerly kissing the face of her best friend with eagerness. 

“Look at this face ma..” Paige mumbled the roar of the engine in the background gave Paige a signal it would be okay to take Azzi’s shirt off of her tossing it somewhere between the bed and dresser not really caring where it landed. “These motherfuckin’ abs ma..” She leaned down and kissed her stomach softly rubbing it gently between kisses. Paige kept complimenting her body, kissing down and down until she reached her shorts. “May I?” Azzi nodded and Paige pulled her shorts down to reveal the pretty underwear she watched Azzi put on. “Paige, stop teasing..” Azzi mumbled and watched as Paige pulled down her underwear letting out a moan at the sight of the younger girl's pussy. Her eyes tracing around the folds, to the clit, and then back again in a constant cycle she looked up at Azzi and smirked. 

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy ma.. Wet for me, yeah?” She kissed right above it as her thumb found her clit and rubbed slow circles around it. Her head lowered as she kissed her clit softly, spitting a bit she ran her middle finger up and down her soaking folds waiting for Azzi to give some sign of not being able to take the teasing anymore. She got what she wanted soon after when the younger girl's thigh twitched rubbing against her hand. “Want more?” Azzi nodded eagerly and Paige slipped her finger in teasing her with her slow sliding in and out. “Like that?” She smirked and added a second finger speeding up a bit as she began to stretch her out. “P.. Paige.. Fuck..” Azzi moaned her eyes on Paige struggling to hold in her moans against her bottom lip which she bit. “Paige fuck your fingers.. Need more..” “Oh yeah ma? Well then I will give you more..” She lowered her head and sucked her clit while Azzi kept moaning her hands gripping her sheets tightly scrunching the normally perfect surface. Paige's fingers curling into Azzi with a steady rhythm.. “Yeah Paige.. Paige Paige.. Fuck I am close..” Paige grinned and leaned up pecking her lips before spitting on her still moving fingers. “Damn damn.. Fuck P..” “Yeah baby let it go come on cum for me..” Azzi’s hips bucked up to meet Paige's fingers until they faltered before crashing right back down. Paige let her ride her high out until she laid there breathing heavily.. Paige pulled her fingers out and sucked on them softly. “It tastes so good ma..”

“Yeah I bet..” Azzi mumbled as she looked at Paige, “Alright my turn..” Azzi laid back against the bed while Paige stripped down to nothing but her sports bra. Paige gripped the head board as she lined herself up. “There you go..” Azzi mumbled gripping her thighs as Paige lowered herself on Azzi’s face with a moan, her folds opening around the younger girl's tongue. “Damn Az..” She slowly rose up and back down a few times before sliding against the younger girl's face as she lapped up her mess. She began to imagine what Azzi’s mother's reaction would be if she walked in and saw her daughter’s best friend sitting on her face. She was about to laugh when she was interrupted by a moan coming from herself. “Tastes so good P..” Azzi mumbled as her chin became covered with Paige’s slick and her own drool.. “Could eat this pussy every day…” Paige groaned as she rode her face fast, craving that high. She moaned again followed by some swearing as Azzi helped her reach her goal. Paige’s actions slowed and followed every few seconds till she cummed on the younger girl’s tongue. “Damn..” Paige lifted her hips and sat next to Azzi smiling at her. “So what position next hmm?” Paige rubbed Azzi’s thigh as Azzi cleaned up her face, with the back of her wrist. “Uh we could do some scissor action you know..” Azzi suggested smiling at Paige who nodded and took a deep breath before beginning to align their weak pussies, Paige slowly lowered herself to the point where they met. The two girls moaned at the touch and grinned against each other and Paige’s eyes rolled back in overstimulation of her clit touching Azzi’s folds. “Wow.. wow Azzi..” “AZZI (enter Azzi’s middle name) FUDD!” A voice called out, opening the door to find them in such a position. Paige, not knowing what to do, froze, luckily Azzi had some brains and pulled a blanket over them. Azzi’s mother stood in the door, her face must have been as red as her hair. “YOU TWO GET DRESSED AND BE DOWNSTAIRS IN 5 MINUTES..” Katie was furious this was not something Paige wanted to happen. Paige quickly got up once the door closed, pecking Azzi’s forehead before getting dressed helping Azzi get dressed. “Fuck Azzi what are we going to do.. What if they kick me out.. I can’t go back to my dad’s yet..” Paige stared at the younger girl's brown eyes until they answered her. “They won’t Paige I promise and if they do we will move out together.. I have enough money to buy a hotel or something. Come on, we can do this..” Azzi answered as she pulled her shirt over her head standing slowly using Paige as her support, her rock. Paige was her rock always was. “Come on, let's go..” Paige mumbled as they made their way down the stairs to the living room, the caring and gentle Mr. Fudd at a stern expression as he looked at the two girls, but he wasn’t the one they were worried about. They watched as Katie reentered the living room, her expression sterned as she pointed to the couch telling them to sit. “Mrs. Fudd I can explain..” Paige began but was shut down when Katie raised her hand up.  “So Azzi why when I come home from your brother's event do I find you and the girl you swore to me was just a friend in bed together doing certain acts?” Katie asked, staring them down like a hawk. “Explain to me why I found you in such a position hmm..” “Mom, I really like Paige..” Azzi’s voice was timid so Paige held her hand rubbing the back of it with her thumb. “I have liked her since we met. She is the best thing to happen to me, please don’t take her away…” Tim spoke up, “How long has this been going on?” His voice was rough like gravel in a driveway. He stared at the two girls, his eyes flicking to each as he rubbed his forehead softly.

“About 8 months but we only started doing that like a month ago..” Paige responded quickly, still holding onto Azzi’s hand.

“Unbelievable..” Katie mumbled before Tim put his hand on her shoulder. He seemed like he wanted to reason with the girls. “Listen I get you guys are teens and all but that isn’t an excuse really.. Now here is the deal: no more sex under my roof got it? But you two can be all couple like..” Tim smiled at the two girls before his expression became serious. “Now Bueckers if I find out you broke my little girl's heart.. I will not hesitate to break you..” The large man grinned and smiled at the girls once more.

Katie jumped in, “I think you two can do a bit of cleaning to make up for this..” She looked between the girls who nodded, gratefully that they at least still had each other. Still had their rocks.

[celestiamour]

hi again i rlly liked ur headcanons for choi su-bong x shy fem reader and i was wondering if u could pls write headcanons of him x foreigner fem reader? ty and have a good day 🫶

ft. choi su-bong x f! reader — squid game

╰₊✧foreign! reader┊0.5k words

contains: headcanons!! reader’s native country is unspecified but she speaks her native language and english while studying korean! 

➤ author's note: alright, this is the last for the short specific reader headcanons, the next thanos fic will be an actual one-shot <3 

╰₊✧ notices you immediately both because you’re a cute girl and because you stand out in a crowd like he does. korea has a very homogeneous population, so people tend to take notice of you quickly. he probably greets you with a casual “what’s up” and decides right then and there that you’re going to be friends or maybe something more, you don’t really have a choice in the matter because people who stick out like you should stick together! he doesn’t mind if you’re shy because of your broken korean, he’s a master of language and wordplay and will gladly help you out!

╰₊✧ because he’s teaching you stuff he already knows and isn’t learning anything, he’s actually a lot of fun to study with. he always finds a way to make it fun and easy to remember with high-fives each time you get a question right. i feel like he was an awful student who went through a lot of tutors (only during exam season when he needed to get his grades up to pass the class though), so he knows all the best tips and tricks that worked on him when he was younger. 

╰₊✧ is probably one of those guys who asks what the swear words are and what cultural insults there are. he wants to use them other people so that he can get away with saying shit to their faces without getting caught, something that he already does in english but would like to know more

╰₊✧ even if you may not fit traditional korean beauty standards, he thinks you’re so hot. might use the term “exotic” because he doesn’t know better, but he won’t use it again once you tell him that it’s objectifying. 

╰₊✧ once you two start dating, he will seriously want to learn your native language. i can see him as someone who appreciates linguistics and admires multilingual people, loving to listen to music of all genres around the world and having a pretty diverse set of favorite artists. he might pout and bitch that it’s too difficult at first, but he’s surprisingly smart when he wants to be and will be conversationally fluent in about a year (it would be shorter if he was more consistent in his studies but alas).

╰₊✧ really looks forward to visiting your home country! he’ll try his best to be as respectful as his obnoxious ass can be, although i see him being accidentally offensive a few times because he can be a bit ignorant. loves to meet fans there and would probably go out of his way to make at least one appearance there if he ever had a worldwide concert tour no matter how off-course it may be. 

╰₊✧ when it comes to meeting your family, he puts all of his knowledge to the test to win their approval (god knows he needs all the help he can get when he looks the way he does, especially if you have a conservative family). however, he doesn’t really care if they don’t approve of him as he finds it to be more of a bonus than a requirement. 

╰₊✧ 100% wants to come back during your honeymoon, maybe even have a second wedding to adhere to your traditions if you so desire it. don’t worry about finances, he’s got it all covered!

[agonyoftherose]

On the Way to a Smile

౨ৎ dark! rafe cameron x f! reader (16k)

summary: in the wake of your wedding, you are haunted by a man from your past.

warnings: implied non con/drugging, cheating

🎃 " ultimate self indulgent yap fic, be prepared (reupload from like a year ago if anyone recognises this, I edited the shit out of it lol ... I miss writing for rafe :,3)"

i.

"What's all this?"  

Strewn across the Cameron's dining table was an array of objects which could only be described as a mixed blessing. Multiple binders containing silk swatches protruding from the edges, sticky notes with potential dietary requirements, and different flora species – planning a wedding was less of a journey and more of a ride. 

Averting your burning eyes from your laptop screen, you acknowledged Rafe with a cordial smile, lazily gesturing to the conglomeration of wedding itinerary. 

"My future." 

The blonde simply hummed, eyes narrowing as he leisurely rounded the dark oak to stand beside you. He silently lingered there for a moment, ring clad fingers dancing across the drafted invitations with an indecipherable expression. 

"Where's Sarah? Ain't she supposed to be helping you with all this shit?" 

You refrained from rolling your eyes. Rafe was, after all, a friend of the family, and by extension earned your respect. Even If he could be a complete dick–

"I am helping, thank you very much!" 

Sarah's voice, now tinged with irritation, reverberated from the pantry before she emerged with a bag of microwave popcorn. "What do you have to offer other than giving us a headache?" A deep crease settled between her brows as she threw her flaxen locks into a low ponytail, setting the bag into the microwave. 

"Well you see, Sarah, I'm a man with a fine eye for detail." He prodded his haughtily puffed chest which Sarah scoffed at, glancing towards you with disbelief. 

"Says the boy who'd be leaving the house with his shoelaces undone were it not for Wheezie." 

"Now you're just making shit up–"

"Both of you, please!" With an exasperated sigh you cradled your throbbing temples in the seat of your palms. "If you're going to argue, do it somewhere else."

Ding!

A much needed reprieve from the stifling tension in the room, the microwave beeped, signalling that the popcorn was ready. However, the pause was short-lived. As soon as the timer stopped, the silence was disrupted by Rafe's voice. His tone mocking and derisive.

"Ordering me around in my own house, hm?" His short, dirty blonde locks cascaded over his eyes as he shook his head, failing to conceal his lour. "Nah, that's not how it works sweetheart. Maybe I'd allow it if you were marrying me."

"Rafe." Sarah hissed. "Shut up and get out."

In the typical fashion of the first-born Cameron, Rafe disregarded his sister's command, instead opting to leer down at you like some voracious beast reading to trap you in its gaping maw. 

"So where's the lucky man? He got to stake his claim, now he's leaving all the work for you?" 

You ignored his taunts, for that was what they were. He fed off reactions like a leech. You had come to realise this over the years as he evolved into an obnoxious variant of the boy you once admired. Rather than giving him the attention he craved so dearly, you turned your focus to Sarah as she came to sit beside you. 

"If you must know, he's working to pay off his student loans," You fought the urge to bite back at his spiteful remarks, ultimately losing when you added; "Maybe one day when you take care of your responsibilities, you will understand."

Sarah suppressed her snot beneath a mouthful of popcorn. As you reached for a handful of your own, a hand slid in between, suddenly pushing the bowl out of reach. 

"Careful." Rafe drawled warningly, pointing to a trumpet silhouette dress advertised in a women's magazine you had circled with red marker. "That dress is real pretty, it would be a shame if you outgrew it."

ii.

It was winter, 2006. 

You were five, perched on your mother's lap in the front seat of your father's Chrysler 300C as she consoled you through hiccuping sobs. This Christmas, the esteemed Cameron's were your family's special holiday destination; a far cry from the usual dinner and movie at your grandparents.

Numerous road signs were posted throughout Figure 8, warning drivers to approach the winding roads with caution due to high levels of sleet. Despite the treacherous conditions, your father traversed along as he usually would. You whimpered and pawed at your mother's blouse in a bid to be reassured, but she merely shushed you.

"Don't worry, baby. You're safe."

As you pulled up along a circular drive encompassed by large plains of neatly trimmed verdure, a house came into view… if you could even call it that.

 A quadruple frontage acting as a support beam for the large balcony above donned with red, white and blue flags and multiple seating arrangements. On the right side of the glass entry doors was a metal plaque spelling 'Tannyhill.' 

You beamed up at the place in awe. "Is this a castle?" 

Your father chuckled, ruffling your loose hair. 

"Something like that."

A man emerged from the double doors and you were urged out of the car with a gentle but firm push. The strange man’s beady eyes— like two pale corks screwed into his head— landed on you.

"Hello, little one." His eyes crinkled as he smiled, bending down to your level. "What's your name?"

Your young mind could not fathom why he frightened you, and when he extended his hand you instinctively retreated into your mother's skirt.

"Don't mind her, Ward." Your father emerged from the driver’s side of the vehicle. "She'll warm up real fast if you offer her something sweet."

"A sweet tooth?" The man, Ward, mused. His voice mild-mannered and pleasant to the ear. "My son is the same, I'm sure you'll get along just fine."

Inside, the house was even more impressive. The family’s wealth and prestige was evident in the sheer opulence of its interior. The halls were draped in thick upholstery, varying in shades of crimson, indigo and gold. An ornate floral pattern embroidered in gold thread was meticulously sewn onto the walls. 

Adorning the hallway to the kitchen were multiple picture frames. One in particular caught your interest; a young boy sat on Ward's lap in a velvet-lined chair, smiling and well-groomed with golden locks and a well-pressed collar. 

You wondered if this was the aforementioned son.

Ward's explanation of the Plantation's historical significance fell on deaf ears as you gaped up at the towering ceilings. "You came here once when you were just a little bean in my belly." Your mother poked her stomach, smiling down at you.

"I don't remember that."

She pulled you into her side by the shoulder as she laughed. "Of course you don't, darling." 

Ward came to a halt at the staircase, raising a finger to his lips.

"Sarah's nursery is upstairs. We just got her down before you arrived but I'll let you have a peek."

 "Oh, that’s alright, Ward. We wouldn't want to disturb her." Your father interjected, mirroring Ward’s hushed tone.

"That won't be an issue, my angel is a heavy sleeper," he whispered, motioning for you to follow him with a reassuring wave.

“Rafe's up there at the moment,” Confusion enveloped you as Ward’s previously jovial demeanour dropped. When his stiff gaze met yours, heat bloomed beneath your cheeks and you perked up. “Maybe you can keep him company, little one." 

Upstairs, the first door on the right was painted a faint dusty rose. Above the door frame were little wooden letters decorated by fairies and flowers spelling out ‘Sarah’. The dry hinges screeched as Ward opened the door.

“Rafe, come meet our guests.” 

The boy from the picture emerged, older now and taller. Unlike the bright smile he wore in the photograph, there was not a trace of joy on his face. But despite his gloomy demeanour, there was a certain charm about him that you couldn't help but notice.

Beautiful, he’s beautiful. 

“Hello.” He said robotically, as though the syllables were being tugged out of his mouth by an invisible wire. Ward glared disapprovingly at his son.There was a silent exchange between the two before Rafe finally sighed as if submitting to some sort of inevitable conclusion.

“Merry Christmas, it’s nice to meet you all.” 

His eyes met yours. Crystal orbs of cerulean, framed by a dark outer ring… you were transfixed by his beauty. 

At dinner you sat mute, only answering direct questions. Mrs Cameron was a lovely woman who did her best to include you in the conversation despite your reluctance to participate.You observed Rafe and his father. The tension between the two was thick, oozing onto you from across the table. You made eye contact with Rafe a few times. He held it with no indication of discomfort whilst you were always the one to eventually flit your attention elsewhere, unable to withstand the strange intensity. 

As the maids began to clear the table, Ward suggested to both you and Rafe to go play outside so the adults could have some time to talk.

With the sun making its hasty departure below the treeline in the distance, It had cooled off significantly outside. You trailed behind Rafe as he led you to a small shed next to the pool, struggling to tug your gloves over trembling fingers. 

You waited outside as he disappeared beyond the door frame, returning a few moments later with a black and white ball.

“Do you know how to play?”

The ball was familiar but you shook your head, unsure of the rules. 

“Don’t touch the ball with your hands or make contact with me.” 

“Make contact?” You tilted your head in confusion. 

“Yeah. You can’t kick your enemy on purpose, right?”

You gave a nod– still unsure about why you’d want to kick anyone on purpose– and Rafe tossed the ball at you. The ground was partially frozen beneath your feet and you stumbled backwards with the sudden force of the ball, nearly toppling over. 

“Good, let's play.” 

At first it felt hopeless as you slipped across the icy ground cartoonishly. Rafe’s size, strength and experience did not deter him from going full pelt, and it quickly became apparent that the only way you could gain any leverage over him was if you were to be sneaky– which of course, was easier said than done. 

Every pivot of your foot he anticipated. His agile movements made it nearly impossible to bypass him and you found yourself huffing in frustration as he swiftly confiscated the ball from your weak stance. 

“This is not fair!” You cried exasperatedly, ego depleted after numerous failures.

“You’ve got to try harder if you want to beat me.” 

Rafe’s arrogant tone only stoked the flames of your annoyance. Slowing down, you realised that your frantic footwork left your defences vulnerable. Watching Rafe’s strategy, you could see that he was coming head-on, anticipating that you would focus your resources on an attack. 

This time rather than barreling towards him head-on, you hunkered down into a low stance, turning slightly and awaiting his arrival. Once he was in range, you swiftly kicked your right foot out, connecting with the ball. It shot through his legs, the suddenness of your attack delaying his reaction ever so slightly, allowing you the opportunity to rush past him and possess the ball. 

After the shock wore off and Rafe turned to face you, his face was raised in surprise. “Wow, not bad.” 

“Got you!” You giggled, spinning around in glee. 

“You’re more fun than Sarah.” Rafe earnestly remarked. “She never wants to play. All she does is sleep and cry.”  

“I like playing with you.” 

The corners of his lips tugged upwards, his dour demeanour melting away into a softer grin. 

“Let’s try something different.” He suggested, your stomach clenching in apprehension at the mischievous glint in his eyes.

“...Ok.” 

“You stand over there,” He pointed to a small clearing between two trees, “That is the goal. You have to try and protect it.” 

“Ok.” You giggled, heart thumping in rhythm with your hasty steps. 

“Ready?”

You gave a thumbs up and he backed up. Once he was pleased, he took an initial step before thundering towards the ball, sending it soaring through the air. You were sure that it would not make contact with you as it was well above your head. However, after it had risen, it quickly descended back down with the speed and precision of a hunting eagle. It slammed into the edge of your brow, making contact with a surprising amount of force. Your legs gave way under the pressure as you clutched the spot where the ball hit, eyes tearing up from the impact.

“Ow.” Your voice wobbled as you cradled your head. 

“Oh, oops.” Rafe rushed to kneel beside you, gingerly lifting your chin to inspect your face. “Are you okay?” 

You didn’t respond, and when he noticed the tears welling up in your eyes, his entire body stiffened. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t cry, you’re ok.” 

Blinking furiously, you managed to keep it together, but your voice came out as a dry croak. “Am I bleeding?”

“Nah, it’ll just be a little bruise. Nothing to worry about.” 

His assurance dampened your concern, and you nodded. “Even though that really hurt, I still won. The ball didn’t pass the trees!” 

Rafe began to chuckle but was interrupted by the click of the back door. Your mother called your name into the still air. Sniffling, you brushed your hair back into place when his tight grip clasped onto your shoulders, stilling your frantic movements. 

“I was saving this for later,” His voice was hushed now as he removed a lollipop from his back pocket. “But it’s yours if you promise not to tell.” 

Wiping the corner of your eyes, you smiled, “Alright.”

iii.

You froze in front of the mirror.

Floor length, delicately laid seams stretching taut against soft curves, colour perfectly harmonious with your undertones– The dress was a beautiful testament to how far you've come, like a chain binding the past and the present together.

There was just one issue…it wouldn’t zip up the whole way. 

You urged the seamstress to keep trying, tugging the resistant zip until it eventually gave way. It didn't, and on one particularly harsh tug, it got caught and pinched your skin. She apologised before releasing it down and backing off. 

“Your wedding is in a week?” She inquired, glancing over your frame insouciantly.

“Yes, Saturday week.”

“I should be able to add some alterations to the back in that time.” 

This did not completely assuage your concerns. “What if there’s nothing you can do? Or the alteration destroys the style of the dress? Is there another alternative?” 

Her smile was solemn as she met your gaze in the reflection. “Well, I suppose the only other suggestion I can make is to move more and eat less.”

You pressed your lips together before stepping out of the changing room into the harshly lit waiting space. Your mother’s eyes immediately widened as she shot off the couch with a mixture of admiration and concern concocting within her irises.  

“Oh, Darling. The dress is beautiful, but you don’t look happy. What’s the matter?”

“There is a slight issue…with the back.” The seamstress sighed, urging you to turn. 

Your mother attempted to stifle her gasp beneath a freshly manicured hand. She skittered forward brushing delicate fingers over the fabric, prodding and pushing at the broad opening. 

“Mum,” You groaned. “Just be honest with me, how bad is it?” 

“Well, it’s about two inches so it’s not unnoticeable.” A crease formed in her brow as she inspected you, momentarily stuck in thought.  “Have you considered styling your hair down?” 

“Yes, but that's not going to fix the issue.” 

She nodded, turning her attention to the seamstress, “Ma’am, I am willing to pay the price to have my daughter's dress prioritised.” 

Before she could even consider the request, the familiar chime of your phone rang out, breaking your dazed stupor. As you peered at the screen you sighed softly. “Sorry, I’ll just answer this.”  

Shuffled back into the changing room, you swiped the accept button on the call after clicking the lock shut. “Hey sweetheart, how’s it going at the shop?” 

A pit swelled within your stomach. “Things could be better.”

“Is there an issue? Last time you couldn’t have sounded happier.” Thomas’s voice was laced with concern, the image of his deep-set frown flashing into your mind.

“I mean, it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. Just a minor issue with the beading.”

“Alright then, so it could be worse? Regardless, I’m sure you look beautiful.”

“You’re kind of required to say that, y’know, as my fiance.” You chuckled softly.

“Required or not doesn’t make a difference if I mean it all the same.”

The impressive weight of the dress’s train dragged the bodice down with it as it cascaded into a pile of limbs on the floor. A chuffed smile melded onto your face.  “Was there any real purpose to this call?” 

“Depends on what you count as purposeful. I wanted to hear my beautiful fiancé’s voice…and ask what other plans she has for the day?”

This time you snorted. “I’m supposed to be meeting Edie at the club for lunch. She’s afraid you’ll hog all my attention after the wedding and plans to get me drunk so she can find out all your dirty secrets.” 

“Well she’s not wrong about the first part,” He heartily chuckled. “But try not to reveal too much, I think we’ve had enough rumours spread about us for a lifetime.”

“I’ll do my best. Anyway, I probably should get going, I’m already running late.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later then. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Your mother resumed her position on the plush white couch while she waited for you, snapping up as you beckoned for her towards the exit. 

“We discussed options on how the dress could be altered. It seems like the quickest solution will be to make it backless.”

“Honestly at this point, I don’t really care,” A heavy and tired groan escaped your lips as you unlocked your car. “As long as it fits, that's all that matters to me.” 

“Darling,” Her cold grasp caught your arm, forcing you to face her. “I know how you get. Your mind is all over the place, I can see it in your eyes.”

“It’s fine mum, really. I gave up on perfection a long time ago.” 

“Either way, this is your big day and I want you to enjoy it. Don’t let this small mishap ruin it for you, alright?” She sagely advised, rubbing your shoulders in a soothing manner. 

“I won’t. Promise.” Though the smile was forced, you didn’t have it in you to counter her pleading eyes. She hugged you firmly, planting a kiss on your cheek as you parted ways. 

The country club was brimming with familiar faces, each passing by with a nod of the head. In all honesty, you couldn’t remember half of their names, only being acquainted through your parents. Etiquette was an expected part of the club, though, so you returned their superficial pleasantries with an equally superficial smile. 

Allowing your intuition to guide you through the hive-like hallways of the facility, you ended up at the outdoor bar overlooking the course green. That was where you found Edie; fiery tresses flowing loosely over her shoulders, hunched over the bartop as she swirled a glass of glistening rosè. 

“I see you started without me.” 

Without having to turn she squealed as the sound of your voice carried over to her, attracting the attention of curious onlookers. “You made it! I was starting to think you’d bailed on me again.”

“Ed, that was months ago. I think it’s time we move on.”

She hummed and with a light giggle tapped the stool beside her.  “Only if you let me buy you a drink and promise not to complain about the heat.”

“Deal.” 

Nothing ever changed with Edie. Some people would describe her as immature, solidly stuck in the same old adolescent patterns of staying out late, drinking too much and entertaining unsuitable partners out of boredom. But despite the opinion of others, her consistency came as a comfort to you. She knew how to have fun, and this energy never ceased to rub off on you.

“Now I know you’re probably sick of hearing it,” Already knowing where this was going, you rolled your eyes to emphasise how you felt about this turn in the conversation. Her voice was slightly slurred at this point, having gone through half a bottle of prosecco together. If you didn’t keep your wits about you, your tongue would soon become looser than you wished. 

 “But I have to ask–”

“Ed.” Your tone was firm. 

“Are you sure about this?” 

You sighed, leaning back in the stool like a beleaguered outpost, utterly surrendered and defenceless against her incoming onslaught of questions.

“The amount of times you’ve asked me this is making me think you just don’t like him.”

“Babe, you know it’s more complicated than that.” She gently clasped your hand. “If you’re happy, I’m happy, promise…even with his track record.” 

Your muscles stiffened, weighing you down like a heavy stone in your seat. “We put that behind us many years ago.”

“Well yeah,” She reticently continued. “I guess I’m still in the process of forgiving him, though.”

“If I can then I’m sure you have it in you.”

Her viridian eyes continued to pierce into you as she tilted her glass up to glossed lips. Sensing the finality in your tone, she nodded. 

“So, are you?”

“Am I what?” You chortled incredulously. 

“Happy!”

“Yes! Trust me if I wasn’t you’d be the first one to hear about it.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” She shimmied her shoulders with a giggle, the previously heavy aura dissipating.

The debate over your love life has been a perpetual thorn in your side. People liked to voice their opinions as though your life was paltry gossip. Not many took the time to consider your perspective, your feelings, your anguish. 

Edie geared the topic of discussion to her latest rendezvous. A welcome change. Her sporadic lifestyle always kept you on your toes, considering there had been no major updates in your life for some time now...  aside from the engagement of course. With the warm buzz pulsating through your veins, nothing could disturb the serene ambience of the club.

Almost nothing. 

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the two finest women on this island.” Kelce, and that could only mean–

“And if it isn’t our favourite troublesome trio. What brings y'all here this evening?”

Rafe lingered behind his posse like a shadow, his feathery locks tucked beneath a dull grey cap. Though his eyes were shielded by black-out shades, you could sense the burning heat of his gaze from a mile away– your body well attuned to it. 

“Only the same as you two of course. Mind if we join you?”

“Sorry boys, but it’s kind of a girl’s night.” You quickly interjected, masking the unease in your tone with a fleeting smile. 

Edie groaned your name, “Come on, the more the merrier.”

“Yeah come on,” Rafe echoed. “It’s been a while since we last hung out.” And you got the feeling he wasn’t talking about the rest of them.

Kelce and Topper occupied the two stools adjacent to Edie, leaving the last available seat directly beside you. Rafe was entirely isolated from the group, nursing a bitterly scented whiskey cocktail.

His stool made an awful scraping sound as he encroached on your personal space. The thick, solid weight of his thigh nudging into yours caused you to flinch and you could have sworn he smirked at that. 

“So, how’ve you been?” He lazily drawled and you didn’t miss the way he blatantly zeroed in on your ring. 

“The same as always Rafe, but I can’t say that bothers me.”

“No? Y’know that surprises me, you were always so… adventurous. Didn’t think you’d settle for the housewife lifestyle so soon.” 

“You of all people should know that others can change.” You argued with a huff.

“Yeah, but not you.” His chuckle was merely a blank imitation of humour, shamelessly inauthentic.  

“This is kind of unfair. You seem to know my whole life story while I can barely piece yours together these days.” 

“You wanna know what I’ve been doing?” You nodded and he slouched back against the bar stool, taking a hefty swig of his drink and removing his shades with a flick of the wrist. 

“I was at the shops recently, saw your mum,”

“...Ok?” You scoffed, struggling to see the relevance. 

“She says you’ve been acting strange lately, distant, that true?” 

“She always thinks I’m acting strangely.” She also apparently likes to gossip about my personal life.

“Thing is,” He paused for a moment, grimacing as if struggling to formulate the proper words. You knew better. Nothing Rafe did was without reason. “She’s under the impression it’s got something to do with the big day.”

“Are you kidding me?” 

Your heart synchronised with the beat of the music, drowning out all other immaterial noise as it pounded slow and steady in your ears. For the first time that evening, you dared a glimpse into Rafe’s eyes, immediately noticing his pupils dilated to the size of pennies.

“Jesus– Rafe,” You hissed, snatching his chin between your fingers. “I thought you gave up on that shit.”

“Always worryin’ about me.” A humourless laugh floated from his hollow chest. Cool silver dug into the supple flesh of your wrist as he gently pried your hand away. With a bated breath, you snatched the limb from his grasp. 

“Yeah, well someone has to.” You scoffed. Remanence of snow dusted his collar and without thinking you brushed it away, watching as it fluttered into small clouds before dispersing. 

“I did give up on it, by the way,” You frowned as your eyes flitted back up to him, brow raising in disbelief considering the blaring evidence which suggested otherwise. “But something’s been bothering me recently. You know what that is?” 

“No.”

His grin was so juvenile you struggled to fathom how this man-child before you was in actuality a twenty-two-year-old.

He leant forward, resting the weight of his upper body on those muscly thighs, shallow breaths puffing hot and dewy onto your neck. There was no subtlety to his show of bravado. No attempt to hide his objective as the invisible string urged him forward, enabling his crude behaviour. 

He wanted to make you suffer. 

“The fact that I may have been the first man to have you, but in a week… I might not be the last.” 

iv.

Brighton Grammar wasn’t any ordinary school, and it certainly wasn’t for the weak.

On your first day, you witnessed a scrawny boy with streaks of green throughout his locks get tripped in the hallway and laughed at. The next day, he returned with a full head of brown hair. 

His conformity made him dull, sure, but it removed a target off his back. The positive side to being different was that you stood out and the negative was that you stood out. It was a lose-lose situation. 

“I don’t see why you bother with all those clubs and shit.” Rafe dallied beside you with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He took it upon himself to chauffeur you between classes, and you didn’t miss the way the crowds parted for him like a proverbial red sea. 

A sense of discomfort washed over you as Rafe’s hallowed presence had both girls and boys alike turning their heads. Then there was just you. Plain old you. It was unfair, like pitting a stone against a diamond.

“I’m trying to find my passion and form connections. You should try it sometime, then maybe you won't be such a grouch.” He snarled and swerved to the side when you reached to pinch his arm. His reaction stirred a playful snicker from your lips. 

“Uh-huh.You talk like my fuckin’ grandma, y’know that?” 

“I guess that means unlike some people I have manners.” He glared at you again, a growing grin nearly breaking his unbothered countenance. “Anyway, I am very capable of making my own decisions and I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“You, capable? That’s not something I ever thought I’d hear.”

“Oh screw you! Starting today I am an independent woman.”

This time he barked out a laugh. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

You came to a halt outside the locked classroom, leaning against the bulletin board frame and waving at your classmates as they mingled amongst each other. Rafe snatched the scheduling paper from your hands, snorting when you cursed him for it. 

“General maths with Mr Dubra? Damn, all I can say is good luck.” 

His words registered someplace in your mind, but your attention had ventured elsewhere. Rafe followed your transfixed gaze to the bulletin board; a bright-coloured poster with cursive font drew you in like a moth to a flame. In the centre of the A4 page was a picture of a small collective of students, the boy at the front particularly capturing your attention as his pointed finger directed at you. 

Auditions for Brighton Grammar’s Hamlet are to be held in the auditorium during lunchtime this Thursday! Do you have what it takes thou thespian?

“I think I’ll join the theatre club.” 

Rafe’s expression could only be described as utterly mortified. “Hey if you want to be labelled a fucking loser, be my guest,” He raised his hands in surrender. “I ain't gonna stop you since you’re an ‘independent woman’ now.”

Your attempt to swing at him failed miserably as he dodged your attack with ease. 

Ironically enough, you had been joking. The spotlight never called to you, in fact, the thought of that much attention made your skin crawl. What you were drawn to on the other hand was the underappreciated art of stage crew, the glue that binds a production together. 

But the ironic part of it all was that you did end up joining. For one, pathetic and degrading reason: Thomas Hughes. The boy on the poster.

While you would describe Rafe as universally attractive, Thomas was the kind of handsome that not everyone could appreciate; a somewhat lanky build, eyes deep set into his skull as though he were eternally sleep deprived and unkempt hair tied into a loose bun. 

Most notable however was his aura, one of complete self-assurance and warmth. He was also in Rafe’s year level– the grade above you –and you were certain the blonde would not approve… which made it all the more thrilling. 

And for the sole reason of your silly little schoolgirl crush, you found yourself itching to get out of class after fourth period on Thursday. Unbeknownst to the pack of hounds you liked to call friends. 

“You coming to lunch?” Topper asked as you passed him in the hallway, heading in the opposite direction of the cafeteria. 

You shook your head with an affable grin. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

“Rafe won’t be happy.” 

“Remind me to give a fuck.” 

The auditorium was located on the west wing of the school, an old block which had been neglected by the school's previous funding. The heavy double doors creaked as you pushed through them, eyes momentarily adjusting to the dim lighting. 

At the front of the stage sat a panel. Some students, some older, presumably teachers. You took a seat a few rows behind them, intent on simply observing. 

There were six others in the crowd, bouncing their knees and fidgeting with their jewellery anxiously. All apart from one girl who sat up straight. She caught your intrigued gaze and shot you an unmistakably dirty look. 

Great.

Thomas emerged from the right wing shortly after clasping a manila folder. “What a turnout, huh? Now as you probably all know, I will be starring as Hamlet–” The audience erupted in a fit of claps and he bent over into a small bow.

“Thank you, thank you, I am honoured. But more importantly, we are in desperate need of an Ophelia, Gertrude and a Polonius. The show can not go on without them! So I invite you all today to give it your best shot.” 

He gave a cue to someone in the light box and the overhead fresnels were adjusted to a neutral glow. “Well then, I don’t see any point in keeping you all waiting. Who would like to go first?”

The girl who gave you the hostile look held her hand up with little hesitation. “Alright, thank you Cindy. The stage is all yours.” 

Cindy, as you now came to know her, strode up the steps, hips swaying confidently like a lioness on the prowl. She was offered a script but turned it down, “I’ve memorised this act.” A redhead girl in the crowd scoffed, shaking her head. 

As Cindy began, you took note of the dip in her cadence as it transitioned from her naturally firm voice to something delicate and wispy. She had an interesting way of manoeuvring across stage, light footed movements carrying her graciously on the wooden surface akin to a small cloud conquering the great big sky. As her performance came to an end, the panel of judges clapped and hooted, and she hid her face in the palms of her hands as it turned notably red.  

Thomas offered his hand to help her off the stage, “Great job Cindy! Although I would add for you to maybe tone down on the crazy. It is only the beginning of the play, Ophelia is still fairly sane.” 

The gleam in her eyes faltered slightly. “I’ll remember that for next time.”

“If there is a next time, don’t get too cocky.” Thomas spoke without looking up from his notes, missing the way her jaw fell open in surprise. 

“Who’s next?”

The room was swept into silence, everyone glancing around with hesitation. 

“You in the back!” Your head snapped upwards, heart dropping instantly, and you awkwardly gestured to confirm that he was indeed referring to you despite the burning of eyes trained on you like being under a spotlight. “Yes, you. Since no one else was brave enough to volunteer, I nominate you.”

“Oh, well I wasn’t actually going to audition. I was just interested in seeing how this all…works.” You chuckled nervously. 

“Nonsense! We don’t bite, do we?” A chorus of ‘no we don'ts’’ echoed in the large space. “Besides, it’s worth a shot. Some people are naturals, you’ll never know if you don’t give it a go.” 

It wasn’t like you couldn’t refuse. These were theatre kids not abductors with a gun held to your head. But there was an indescribable intensity radiating off of them, as if they could sense the refusal on the tip of your tongue, and for the first time you felt the agonising weight of what your mother would call peer pressure.

 “Alright, why not.”

“That’s the spirit!” You were ushered up to the stage before you had the chance to reconsider, face burning and legs trembling. Thomas’s fingers scraped against yours as he handed over the script. You breath momentarily hitched and you flinched as though a spark of electricity had been transferred between you. 

“Just read what’s been highlighted, the other shit isn’t necessary.” 

You nodded, mumbling in recognition as you noticed that at least two quarters of the page had been highlighted in yellow. 

Inhaling deeply, you centred your focus on the script, attempting to block out the sets of eyes trained on you. You opened your mouth…and laughed. A painstakingly timorous noise which could only be controlled by slapping a hand over your traitorous lips. 

 “I’m sorry, this feels so unnatural to me.” 

“No need to apologise, we’ve all been there,” Thomas’s tone was earnest, void of any judgement and this quelled the pin pricking sensation circulating through your extremities slightly. “How ‘bout we read through the scene first so you have a better understanding of it. Shakespearean language can be a real bastard if you’re not used to it.”

You giggled at his jocose attitude, relief washing over you like a damp cloth. “I think that would help, thank you.”

From what you gathered the scene went as follows: Ophelia's father Polonius and her brother Laertes say their good-byes, warning her not to trust Hamlet’s promises of love and ordering her not to see him again.

Although you still admired her performance, Thomas’s criticism of Cindy’s portrayal made much more sense now. Though Ophelia is famously driven to madness later on in the play– accumulating in her untimely and equally ambiguous end– at this stage of the story, she is merely a heartstruck girl observing the world through rose tinted lenses. 

“Good to go?”  

“I think so.”

“Alright everyone! Give it up for…sorry, what’s your name?”

Your voice echoed with a newfound confidence and the crowd repeated it in a cheer. Perhaps you had been wrong, maybe you did like the spotlight, only you’d never given it the proper chance. 

Mimicking Cindy, you adopted a higher pitch. Not shrill but a pleasant touch of feminine; soft and delicate. You ambled across the stage, not in the same floaty manner she had employed but instead surefooted, conveying Ophelia’s clear mindedness at this stage of the play. Unlike Cindy, however, you did not have the lines down, forcing you to take a slower approach. But this seemed to work in your favour, your slowed speech giving you plenty of opportunity to focus on your facial expressions, ensuring that they matched to what was being described in the cues. 

As your performance wrapped up and the adrenaline steadily receded, you couldn’t resist fixating on Thomas in the crowd who gazed up at you as though you hung the moon and stars in the sky. 

And for the first time at your godforsaken school, you felt seen.

v.

The hum of silence echoed in the Cameron’s dining room, encompassing the yellow walls in a damp sheen which refused to dry. Silver cutlery clinked against delicate porcelain, and as you picked away at your food, Rose smiled at you from across the table. 

“Rafe tells us that you’re going to be in the school’s performance, what was the name–” 

“Hamlet.” The blonde blankly interrupted, and you were surprised that he even knew that. “She’s playing the girl who kills herself.” 

Ward hummed in interest, passing you the salad bowl. “That's excellent news. Theatre was a thriving business in my generation but it seems to have become somewhat of a dying art. Good on you for keeping it alive.” 

“Well I didn’t exactly plan on joining, it just kind of happened–”

“She’s got a thing for the main guy, Tobias or some shit, that’s why she auditioned.”

“Rafe!” He grunted as you nudged his shin, lips peeling into a provoking smirk at your scolding. 

“You gonna tell me I’m wrong?” He teased with a venomous undertone only you seemed to register, and your eyes narrowed at him.

“I want to see, I want to see, who’s this guy?” Sarah wheedled with her big brown eyes. 

“Shut up, Sarah–” 

“Rafe! Do not speak to your sister that way.” Ward’s voice boomed like a deafening clap of thunder, and once his pulsating anger settled, a small cry erupted from Wheezie who tried to conceal her tears beneath a dotted napkin. Rose was quick to placate the young girl with promises of dessert, whisking her off into the kitchen but not before refilling her glass of chardonnay. 

Once they were out of sight, Ward beckoned Sarah to clamber onto his lap, folding her small face into his broad neck before regarding his son with a scalding glare. “Look at what you’ve done.”

The interaction was unsettling to say the least, but not uncommon. Rafe’s lips pinched shut. In the face of his father’s wrath, he would always detract from his usual tough persona, retreating into the shell of a wounded puppy. You didn’t blame him. Ward could be cruel with no regard for the effect his words had on his son, and you loathed him for his blatant favouritism. 

You reached for his hand underneath the table, intertwining the cold extremity with your own. He flinched at first, aggressively flicking his head toward you. But as you gave it a gentle squeeze he seemed to catch on to your intention and his body fell back into a relaxed state. 

You tried to be there for Rafe as much as you could, but despite your efforts, the void left by an absent father was irreplaceable. You could only try your best, but sometimes you had to put yourself first, even if that meant neglecting the needs of those closest to you. 

The production was a much bigger commitment than you initially imagined. Rehearsals pulled you from classes multiple times a week and you began to worry that it could potentially detract from your other subjects. But as a young woman, the possibility of it reeling you from your scholarly responsibilities was not quite as concerning as it was that you felt you were failing at your duties as a friend. 

It had been raining consistently for the past five days. Endless bouts of downpour during spring which thickened the soil and left the air with an unpleasantly muggy tinge. You and Rafe slouched against the linoleum floors of the school gymnasium, slightly obscured from view by the red curtains of the wall length window. He shut your concerns of being caught down by offering you a swig of whatever concoction he’d brought onto school premises.

“How about instead of getting your tiddies in a twist about it, you have some and relax.”

Classic Rafe. 

But you did end up having some, because as soon as he began ranting you knew it was necessary for your own mental wellbeing. 

“You better fucking be there ‘cause there’s no way I can deal with all those old farts on my own.”  

“Am I even invited?” You grimaced as the bitter taste invaded your tastebuds, eagerly handing the flask back, to which he condescendingly snorted. 

A gathering with Ward and his highly esteemed guests could only entail boredom to a deadly degree. Even thinking about it made you yawn, but on the other hand, you would feel bad if Rafe had to endure it on his own.  

“Dad says you're more than welcome, he likes having you around,” He let out a small chuckle, ruffling his short bangs. “He says you keep me sane, like we’re an old married couple or some shit.”

At that, you couldn’t help but barked out in laughter. “Yeah right. Say we ever did hypothetically get married, one of us would probably end up killing the other.”

 He huffed, eyeing you scrupulously. In that moment you wished you could climb into his brain to know what he was thinking. There was a brief awkward pause before you cleared your throat and asked, “Wait, when did you say this was again?” 

“Friday, afterschool…why?” He asked suspiciously. 

“Shit, Rafe–”

“Nah. You gotta be fucking kiddin’ me, again. They can’t keep you after school on a Friday! That’s criminal.”

“I know, trust me I agree.”

“Don’t go then.” He countered with a raised brow, testing you. 

“I would If I could, you know that. But there’s two weeks till the show, there’s just too much to do.” 

“Sure, whatever you say.” He lifted the silver cylinder back up to his lips, taking a long swig. 

“Rafe,” You sighed, trying to reason with him. “Please don’t be mad at me, I’m sorry–”

You were cut off as the doors to the gym groaned, opening to reveal the last person you expected to see.

Thomas. 

“Oh, hey. What’s up?” He seemed surprised to see you, but even more surprised to see you with Rafe, eyes flickering between you with confusion. 

“Hi Thomas, we were just,” His attention flitted down to the flask, incriminating evidence that you quickly swept beneath Rafe’s folded leg, “Uh, what are you doing here? Never took you as the sporting kind.”

Shit, that was bad. As if Rafe was thinking the same thing, he snorted out a laugh. You wanted to crumble right then and there.

Thomas seemed to find your comment amusing, however, bowing his head as he chortled. “Damn, it’s that obvious, huh? But nah, I’m just tryna help Cindy find her phone. I would ask what you guys are up to, but…well I don’t really wanna know.” 

“Ah, well I hope she finds it. We didn’t see anything, did we, Rafe?”

“Nope.” He popped his ‘p’ when answering, and you frowned, unimpressed by his cavalier attitude. “Hey man, why don’t you join us?” 

Rafe tilted his head at Thomas in what would appear to the average eye as a friendly gesture but you knew better.

“I would. But as I said, I gotta–”

“Oh c'mon, I’m sure she could do with the detox.”

“Uh…”

“Is that a yes?” He gestured toward you, “She won’t mind. In fact I think she’d much to prefer to hang out with you than me–”

Classic Rafe. 

You desperately waved your hands at Thomas, attempting to damage control before he had the opportunity to make the situation even more awkward. “Don’t listen to him, he’s way too used to getting his way. Go if you need to.”

A brief glint of relief flashed across Thomas’s features, and like a rabbit caught in a cage he ceased the opportunity you provided to flee. “You’re right, I really ought to go. Thanks for the offer though, man. See you both around.” 

As soon as the doors clicked shut again, you wasted no time. Rafe didn’t even attempt to defend himself against your slew of attacks, simply taking your weak hits for what they were.

“What the fuck was that?” You finally hissed out once you’d calmed down. 

“What was what?”

“Don’t be a moron, are you trying to embarass me?” 

“Oh, sorry for being a good wingman.” His shrug was insouciant, further frustrating you. 

“What you’re being is a pain in my ass.” 

He didn’t react to that in the way you expected. Generally he found the humour in your insults, but this time a coldness you weren’t accustomed to receiving glazed over his eyes.

“You really like this guy, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Cut the shit. You’ve only ever acted like this with that kid who proposed to you in the sandpit.” As you stood he sighed, realising you were refusing to engage in this conversation. “So will I see you on Friday or not?”

“Probably not.”

“See! I knew you’d rather hang out with him than me!” He shouted after you as you stormed off to your next class, gait regretfully swaying as the effects of Rafe’s concoction set in.

In the weeks leading up to the performance, things only became more hectic. If you were to get your cortisol levels tested the results would likely conclude abnormally high. To make matters worse, Rafe was mad at you. Topper and Kelce tried to assure you that he wasn’t, but you knew better. He didn’t respond to your texts, barely acknowledged your presence at school and hadn’t invited you over in a week. All very abnormal behaviours as, while yes, he was an inherit dickhead, you were usually exempt from this. 

So naturally, you did what any normal person in such circumstances would do; gave him the exact same treatment in return. Only acknowledging the damage his behaviour was inflicting upon you in furious scribbles in your lavender spiral diary. 

A few days before show time were having your costume fitted in the small dressing room adjacent to the auditorium. Cindy was booked for her appointment afterwards and in the meantime she lazed on the tattered purple couch in the corner of the room, scrolling through her phone. 

A girl from the costume department examined the logistical functioning of your costume as there were a few instances in the performance where a quick change was necessary. Her red curls bounced as she turned the room upside down in search of her pins. 

“Ok then, you’re pretty much done. I’ll just have to hem the base so we adhere to theatre safe practices and all that stupid shit they assess…” She paused and eyed you over, tugging at the loose sleeve of your dress with a hum. “You look so pretty, like a fairy.”

“Thank you.” You bashfully smiled. She returned it before turning to the other girl in the room.

“Cindy.” 

“Hm?”

“Cindy.” 

“What?” She snapped, tearing her gaze from her phone. 

“What do you think?”

“I mean it’s alright” She shrugged, face peeling into a saccharine grin. “Not really your colour but you definitely suit rags.”

 You would’ve burst out into laughter had you not been so shocked.

“Nowww I remember why I don’t ask for your opinion,” The red head rolled her eyes, shoving Cindy’s garment bag into her lap. “Be useful and get changed into this. I’ll get started on you in a moment.”

Once Cindy had left the room, she bowed her head apologising. 

“I’m guessing you’re not her biggest fan?” 

“Not a fan, period.” She sullenly snorted. “She’s a sanctimonious bitch who can’t keep her nose out of other peoples’ business.”

“She’s pretty at least.” You tried to see the best in people, despite how difficult they made it for you. 

“Well that’s about all she has to offer. I’m Edie, by the way.”

And the rest was history. 

Similarly to the majority of the cast and crew, Edie was in Rafe’s grade. And when she discovered (during your break on Friday rehearsals) that you knew the infamous blonde personally, you did not hear the end of it.

“You’re friends with Rafe Cameron?” Her jaw fell open so quickly you worried it would pop out of alignment. 

“Yeah, I mean we practically grew up together. I’ve spent half my life at his house.”

“You go to his house?! Holy fuck, you’ve been living my dream life like it’s nothing to you.”

“Trust me it’s not as good as you might think. He can be a real ass–”

“Hope you’re not talkin’ about me?” An arm suddenly snaked over your shoulder. The limb was heavy but warm– comforting –and emanated a pleasant aroma. Thomas let his hair hang loose today, long ebony strands pirouetting over the surface of your skin when you glanced up at him.

“Not specifically, but I don’t know, maybe it applies to you too.”

In true theatrical style, he sputtered out a choking noise, clasping onto his chest to imitate immense pain. “Ouch. I think you just broke my heart.”

“Oh really? I didn’t realise Martian’s could feel pain.”

He gasped, and Edie chuckled at the interaction from beside you, shaking her head at your antics. “O-kay as cute as that was, can we please get back to the topic of Rafe.”

Thomas’s expression pinched in discomfort at the mention of the blonde and you recalled your last interaction with them both, inwardly cringing. “Does he have a problem with me or something? I feel like he does.”

“Wouldn’t be surprising. He’s always looking to have a problem with someone.”

“Seems to tolerate you though.”

“Barely,” He opened his mouth to respond but was beaten to it by a loud screech sounding out the syllables of his name. Cindy stood atop the stage, tapping her foot rhythmically against the solid wood with her arms crossed over her chest, not bothering to contain her lour. 

“Thomas!” her voice pierced across the auditorium again like one of those pesky drillers going off on a sunday morning. “I want to go over the cues for this scene, c’mon.”

“Hey,” Edie halted him as he begrudgingly moved to acquiesce to her demand, “Just remember you have free will.”

“Well look how far that’s gotten me.” 

You weren’t sure what he meant by that, as though it were some cryptic message you’d been tasked to decode. He smiled, bidding you both goodbye with a simple wave and you paused for a moment, observing as he trudged away. 

Edie cleared her throat and you were snapped out of your daze, returning to the present only to realise– with much dismay –that your face had been donned with a damning grin. Her brow quirked and you knew what was coming. 

“What’s that look for?” 

“Something you wanna tell me?”

“I don’t think so?” Your voice came out in a pathetic squeak and you cleared it, although the damage had already been done. 

“Oh come on,” She scoffed with an omniscient smirk, “You’re about as transparent as my gran’s panties…You like him.”

“Not you too.” You groaned, pivoting on your heels to take a seat in one of the rows of chairs furthest away from anyone else. If she wanted to have this conversation it was going to be out of earshot. Lest someone else managed to uncover your secret it would soon spread like wildfire. Her girlish giggle followed, and she saddled up beside you. 

“There’s no shame in it, babe. Tom’s a good guy, and you seem to get along…but–”

“But what?” 

Her expression soured, as though the words on the tip of her tongue were full of bile. “One thing you should know about Tom is that for many years, he had a thing for Cindy,” Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, “She rejected and rejected him, and eventually he moved on…but she didn’t like that. Not one bit. But now it seems the tables have turned. Did you know she fucking hates theatre?”

“Doesn’t seem that way to me.” You were prompted to glance up onto the stage where the two were currently rehearsing; she made it seem so effortless. How could she hate the things she was good at?

“Exactly. That’s why she’s so dangerous, she can keep up a good act.”

“I see.” This information shouldn’t have unsettled you. The past was set in stone for a reason and it was only possible for it to be resurfaced if you allowed it to. But it did unsettle you. Cindy possessed a classic kind of beauty you weren’t sure you could compete with. “So do you think if she were to ever bring it up, he would go for her again?”

“Hard to tell, with both of them really. I’m pretty sure it’s just a game to her, she likes the attention. But as for Thomas, I think he’s beginning to see things clearer now.”

You tilted your head, unsure of what she meant by that.

“He’s not thinking with his dick.” She clarified bluntly, the crass wording making you gasp and then chuckle.

“Right. Good to know.”

Your phone vibrated from within your jeans pocket and you were surprised to see that it was Rafe calling you, considering you’d essentially gone with no contact for days. Assuming the worst, you excused yourself.

As you placed the phone to your ear you could only manage to make out a whooshing sound as though he were standing atop an viciously windy mountain. Then it stopped in tandem with what sounded to be like a string of expletives before he finally spoke.

“Yooo, what’s up? You coming?” Your brows furrowed at his elated tone. Last you’d checked, he was ignoring you. 

“Rafe, I already told you I can't–”

“Chill, it's fine. Got dumb and dumber to come over, keep me entertained”

“The fuck you just call us?” Topper and Kelce both shouted in unison somewhere in the background. Aside from their outburst, you couldn’t make out any other noise so you imagined they’d locked themselves away from all the action with Ward and his friends. Rafe detested hanging out with the oldies.

“Ok, good. Saves me from feeling bad. But are you alright, you sound a bit…” Happy. The word you were grasping for was happy, because you couldn’t remember the last time he’d sounded so care free. 

“Better than ever!” 

“And are we ok?” 

“Yeahhh, you’re too cute to stay mad at for long.”

His response stifled you for a moment. “That’s real funny, Rafe.”

But in the coming days, something told you this may not be the case. 

Instead of avoiding you, Rafe wasn’t even showing up  to school anymore. You were worried he was still clinging onto the remnants of his unjust anger until you received another phone call at 2:30am, the night before your performance.

“Rafe,” You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, voice groggy and disoriented as you checked the glaring red lines on your digital clock. “What’s wrong? Do you even know what time it is?”

“Yeah, uh I’m sorry…” He sniffed. “I’m outside, can I come– ah actually y’know what just come out front, will you?” 

You paused. On any ordinary occasion you’d have told him to piss off, too tired and frustrated to entertain his larks. But a stab of concern reared its ugly head at his shakey tone– this was very out of character.   

“Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll be out in a minute.”

It was a blisteringly cold night so you shrugged on a coat before trekking down stairs quietly, praying your parents weren’t lying awake to witness you sneaking out of the house in the wee hours. 

The front door scraped against the doormat as it opened. Rafe remained slumped against one of the white veranda pillars, motionless, as though he hadn’t heard you. His breaths were heavy, and upon assessing him you frowned at the fact that he was merely clad in a thin polo shirt and khaki shorts. 

“...Rafe?” You brushed your fingers gingerly across the wide expanse of his shoulders. He violently flinched, whipping around as though your touch was a burning affliction upon his supple skin. But his harsh reaction quickly softened when he saw it was just you.

 “Shit, don’t do that.”

“Sorry.” You whispered, dragging your eyes from his head all the way down to his toes, assessing for any injuries. His unmarred skin left you stumped and it was only when you honed in on his frantic gaze did the issue finally dawned on you.

“Are you high?” 

Your question seemed to strike a nerve. He scrunched his face within his hands, as though he were in pain.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I-it’s like I’m seeing shit and hearing shit and my head hurts so fucking bad.” He was reacting badly. “And all I could think about was seeing you.”

“Did you have a fight with Ward?” This time he didn’t flinch as you grabbed onto his bicep, hoping to ground him. 

“Yeah, uh, yeah he’s just–”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to explain that right now. I’m here.” His burly arms engulfed you as he accepted your hug. You entangled yourself within his embrace, understanding that right now, all he desired was some comfort. 

“Thanks.” 

His voice was muffled by the position with his head stuffed into your shoulder. You gently tighten your hold in response, focusing on the rapid stuttering of his heartbeat which gradually slowed and levelled out into a calmer rhythm.    

What came next was like an inevitable chain of events: both of you pulled back at the same time and a frisson of confusion swept over you as he remained there, content with your noses practically intertwining. Although you weren’t confused. No. You were evading the truth. The truth that had become crystallised in this moment, it glistened so bright you could hardly ignore it. 

One moment you were pinned to the spot by his  gaze, sporadically alternating between each region of your face. Mapping out each detail but notably lingering on your lips. Emotions raged within those orbs like a violent coastal storm, threatening to destroy whatever stability you had left. 

Then, as though it were natural to him, he met you in the middle. 

You’d never experienced anything like it, and any story you’d been told was not comparable. His lips were firm and demanding in a way that surprised you and there was not a single trace of hesitation in his movement, as though he’d been waiting for this moment for a long time. 

Reality came crashing into you like a truck; you were kissing your best friend. The boy you bathed with as a child, who allowed you to snot into his sleeve as you wept and who vowed to protect you from the plight of men; It felt nice, but this sentiment was so heavily outweighed by the fact that it felt wrong. 

This revelation ignited your dormant reflexes. As he began to paw at your lower back, you realised this had gone too far. 

The rate at which you pushed him away stunned even you, and a wave of guilt ebbed through your system as his back collided with the pillar; you didn’t mean to be so harsh, after all he was already in a vulnerable state. He remained crumpled in that position, fingers ghosting over his lips as if he were attempting to savour the taste of your own. 

“Shit, I-I’m always fucking up, I’m sorry,” He cupped your chin, the action causing you to jerk. “Sorry.” 

It unnerved how contrived his apology sounded, and you wondered if he could hear it too. 

“Uh-no no it’s ok,” Your body was frozen in a state of shock. “You're all over the place,” Surely he’d brush this off as a mistake by morning. “let's get you inside, yeah?”

His eyes glazed over your face once again, scrupulously this time, as though he were searching for something. He nodded when he didn’t find it, seemingly wanting to say more as he brushed the back of his neck but he chose to remain silent as you led him inside. 

It wasn’t unusual for you to share a bed; you’d done so numerous times in the past. But it felt different now, like an invitation you were reluctant to hand out. You wanted to be there for Rafe, but you couldn’t let him get confused.

So you laid there, keeping an appropriate amount of distance from the snoring blonde. If you acted normal, things would remain as they always had, right?  Would it be swiped under the rug? Deep down you realised the implications of what had just occurred, and the potential for your…brief mistake to alter both of your futures. It was a classic tale, one you’d heard so many times (both in reality and in fiction) it had burned deep into your psyche. A slow evolution between boy and girl, from friendship to beyond. But that didn’t mean you'd end like that, you repeated over and over again like a mantra. You just couldn’t.

So you laid there, deciding to enjoy this peaceful moment. Naturally, your mind drifts over it all: the play, Thomas, Rafe beside you. All sharing a common denominator– pumping your life full of both excitement and stress. 

But as the saying goes; all good things must come to an end. 

vi.

Rafe experienced what you liked to call a reverse metamorphosis during your senior year. 

Why reverse? Well, instead of transforming from a raggedy moth, expanding his wings to flourish as a butterfly, he took a drastic turn for the worse; as though he’d retreated back into a slimy cocoon. 

Not that he’d ever been exceptionally well-behaved throughout his schooling years– busted for truancy more times than you could count, dabbling in all sorts of allusive substances among other nefarious things that you try not to dwell on –but as a recent graduate privileged with all the resources needed to pave a bright future, you had at least expected he’d try.

Unfortunately, things didn’t always pan out as you imagined they would. 

If he wasn’t drunk, or at least on the brink of it, then he was under the influence of some other powdery or herbal substance. Wasting his days away under the soft confinements of his bedding, recovering from late nights and remaining slumped against the toilet for the better half of his waking hours. Then he’d repeat the cycle, with absolutely no lessons learnt. 

Sometimes you’d receive a call. Incoherent slurs which reminded you of that fateful night months ago, where lines were blurred and boundaries crossed. His drunken words held no meaning, right? That’s what you would tell yourself, like a mantra, over and over until your mind believed what it heard the most. 

But nonetheless, you couldn’t spend your whole life worrying about Rafe. Not when you had other, more imperative issues at hand. 

Or… between your legs. 

The nonsensical droning emitted from the food network on your tv fell on deaf ears as you sat perched on Thomas lap. The weight of your knees was supported by cherry sheets and pink frilly pillows as your lips moved against his at a languid pace. It was soft, sensual…tame, but at the same time exhilarating, and you trusted Thomas to guide you through it.

He let out a low groan as your fingers absentmindedly tugged on his shiny locks. Much to your dismay, he recently cut his hair shorter than it's ever been; his new look attracting attention from those who previously dismissed him, and this stoked the flames of unease within you.

You lowered your position, leaning impossibly closer until your chest brushed against the flimsy cotton of his t-shirt. A jolt of electricity transmitted up your spine as his hands found purchase on your lower back, traversing dangerously low, and a soft whimper floated from your chest.

But as you were still discovering, the art of intimacy was much more complex than you initially believed, and you hadn’t quite learnt how to toe the line.

Without thinking, your thumbs dipped into the waistline of his pants. Just barely tickling the surface, but enough to make Thomas jerk his head back, the hasty action subsequently halting your heated movements. 

 “What’re you doing?” His voice was outlandishly thick as his breaths came out in heavy puffs, scented in confusion. 

“I just thought…” You sat back, feeling suddenly unmoored. “Sorry, am I doing something wrong?”

“Of course not, just not right now, okay?” His deft fingers kneaded into your side, but their intended comforting effect did nothing to quell the pang of his rejection. 

“Sure.” You halfheartedly smiled, slipping off of his warm body to settle by his side. 

Had you been as stiff as a board this entire time? And why was your bedroom becoming increasingly suffocating? As though the walls unanimously decided to close in and focus every second of awkwardness into one concentrated area. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Thomas eventually broke the heavy silence, refusing to broach the elephant in the room– which you were thankful for.

Clearing your throat, you rolled out of your bed, pulling on a pair of fuzzy socks. “Yeah, I’ll get us something to eat. You choose the movie.”

Your relationship with Thomas had been smooth sailing…until it wasn't. 

As you busied yourself slicing up a platter of fruit in the kitchen, you couldn’t resist analysing each possibility as to why.Thomas was acting strangely. This wasn’t an assumption, and it couldn’t have been a coincidence that his change in demeanour always seemed to occur in your presence. So then what were you doing wrong? And why did he insist on keeping you in the dark?

Your train of thought came to an abrupt halt as you noticed an onslaught of notifications popping up on your phone. With an exasperated groan, you leaned over the bench to see who had the audacity to disrupt your moment's peace and quiet.

Rafe. Could you get a break?

To: Princess Rafe 🙄👑 

Piss off I’m busy.

You left it there, praying to any deity willing to lend you an ear that that would suffice. But clearly, you’d also managed to vex the higher beings, as his response was immediate:

From: Princess Rafe 🙄👑

I’m going 74 mph yet I take the time to talk to you 🖕

Yep. No break for you. 

To: Princess Rafe 🙄👑 

???? 

Dude get off your fucking phone. 

From: Princess Rafe 🙄👑

Since you asked so nicely.

And if his cavalier regard for the law wasn’t bad enough, his next message sent your jaw straight to the floor.

“Nope. Not dealing with this.” You shoved your phone into your pocket, ignoring the buzz of a new notification, both for your own sanity and Rafe’s safety. 

When you returned to your room, Thomas had migrated to the carpet, perched atop a pile of decorative pillows you’d previously discarded onto the floor as he flicked through the pages of a familiar lavender spiral notebook. 

You gasped, the realisation of what he was rifling through slapping you right across the face. 

“Oh, hey.” He smirked– that sick, condescending bastard!

“STOP!” You screeched, and his laughter verged on hysterical. “Put. That. Down.”

He swiftly dogged the stuffed animals you pelted in his direction, pouting derisively as you  proceeded to storm towards him. “Aw, why would I do that? I was just getting to the part where you’ve described my scent. Lemon myrtle? That’s pretty specific, it’s actually musk–”

“Thomas.” Your tone acquired a sharp edge, but clearly he hadn’t tortured you enough as he teasingly flicked to the newer entries.  

“Oh, and what’s this…” His posture went lax, abruptly pausing. His wide eyes darted in between the lines as though the words were a mirage he was reluctant to put his trust in. Then his lips pulled down into a small frown, and your stomach clenched. 

“What? Where the hell are you up to?” Your attempt to snatch at the book was fruitless as he kept it raised well above your reach. “Wha–”   

 “Alright, I’ve had enough of this game for one night. Let’s watch the movie.” You stumbled to catch the book as he carelessly discarded it, pivoting around you as he flopped back onto the bed.

“Okay…but don’t make a habit of breaching my privacy.” Your laugh was intended to lighten the mood, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. 

“Why, got something to hide?” He sullenly spoke, staring at the ceiling. Again, the inexplicable tension had wormed it’s back into your room. It was like a stubborn parasite which adapted to its surroundings, never completely disappearing. 

“Nothing too damning I’d imagine.”

The movie Thomas chose was a 20th century romantic tragedy featuring many themes typical of that era such as misogyny and class which made your eyes roll. Your attention to the plot was continually hijacked as Rafe continued to flood your phone with messages, making it difficult to follow along with the plot. You’d been in the middle of responding to one of his many texts (complaining about how some guy at a party was getting on his nerves) when the movie suddenly paused.

“Mm, why'd you pause it?” You peeled your eyes from the screen to be met by Thomas’s blank ones.

“Can I ask you something? And I want you to just be honest with me, don’t tell me what I want to hear.”

“Uh, sure.” His quick transition into seriousness caught you by surprise, and your body tensed like a coiled spring. 

“Alright look, I really hate to be this guy,” His face scrunched into a grimace as he glanced anywhere but your eyes. “But you’d tell me if there was someone else, wouldn’t you?”

“Someone else? What do you mean?”

He sighed, clearly frustrated. “Let me be more clear then. If you liked someone else, would you string me along…or would you break things off?”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, now twisting your body to face him with a scoff. “Who do you think I am, Thomas. I was the one who asked you out, remember? That wasn’t on a whim, I did that because I liked you.”

“Liked?”

You groaned. Why was he making this so complicated?

 “Liked, like. What difference does it make? To me this seems like you are trying to come to the conclusion you want to hear?”

“I’m not jumping to conclusions, just tryna test my hypothesis.”

“Okay, and what’s that?” Probing information out of him was like bribing a kid with vegetables; fucking tedious. 

“That you care about Rafe more than you’re letting on, maybe more than you even realise.”

“What?” You almost laughed in disbelief. Where was this even coming from? “He’s one of my best friends, wouldn’t it be more concerning if I didn’t care for him?”

“I never said you couldn’t care about him to a normal degree, but he may as well be in the room with us! It’s never just me and you, he’s always occupying your mind. Do you not stop to think about how that makes me feel?” 

He did have a point. Rafe was like a dog, constantly demanding your attention, and it had been that way since the day you met him. Still, you sat there in shock, realising he must’ve been bottling this up for sometime now. 

“I didn’t mean- well alright if we’re suddenly being honest, half the time I’m with you it feels like you don’t even want me there.”

“What does that mean?” Now it was his turn to sound confused, offended even.

“You confuse me! One moment you’re all over me and the next you’re pushing me away as though I make your skin crawl.” 

He paused, contemplatively digesting your words before his pretty features twisted into an indignant scowl. “So does that excuse what you did? Because I don’t show you enough attention?”

“What did I do?” You were at your wit’s end.

“Oh stop pretending like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I saw it, written in your pretty fucking handwritten; you kissed him.”

Oh. Shit. Of all entries it was that one he had to have read; which absolutely did not paint the clearest picture of that night. You got half way through documenting what had happened before stopping right at the point when you realised it was wrong, no longer feeling in the mood to relive the moment…no wonder he was furious. 

“It’s not what you think.” You internally cursed yourself for how cliche that sounded. 

“No? Enlighten me then.” He sat up straight like a judge awaiting your testimony from a convicted criminal. 

“Rafe has issues…okay. Stuff at home, and he’s never known how to cope on his own–”

“Oh right, so that’s where you come into play. Are your lips like some magical cure for interpersonal issues.” He queried cynically. 

“Would you shut up and listen!” This time, he reared back at your outburst, “That night he was really out of it. I’m talking delirious, like some rabid dog. He kissed me, not the other way round, and I stopped it because it didn't feel right… and because I liked you.”

You could see the cogs churning in Thomas's mind as he absorbed your words, taking the time to process each one. With a gentle gaze, he met your eyes, his expression softening into an apologetic smile.

 “I see. This all happened before we got together?” 

“Yes, of course it was before. I would never do something like that to you,” His drop in hostility spurred you to lean forward, dragging his warm limbs into your embrace, “I promise.” 

Surely this would be the end of it. It had to be. Everything was out in the open, miscommunications cleared. But when you pulled back, his guilty grimace told you otherwise. 

“There’s something I have to tell you.”

vii.

Ring. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

Another fervid sob was ripped from your maw. You burned from within, rife with malice clawing all the way up your raw oesophagus till it was raw and prying through your lips in ugly bated breaths. You allowed a moment to pass before trying again. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

…

“You ignore my fuckin’ texts and now you wanna talk.”

“Rafe,” Your cracked voice butchered the syllables of his name, sounding almost unrecognisable. Pathetic. “Can I see you?”

Not even 10 seconds later a notification appeared on your phone. He’d shared his location, some vaguely familiar residence on the outskirts of your neighbourhood. 

“What–”

“I’ll see you soon.”

Being vulnerable wasn’t really your forte, nor was it Rafe’s, and there was no doubting he was currently perplexed by your sudden change of heart. But tonight, you needed someone. And that’s how you found yourself stepping into a stranger's house at 12:45 am, scouring the misty rooms in search of a familiar burly figure. 

A low whistle piqued your attention. Topper emerged from the kitchen as you were passing by, two red solo cups in his possession. “Didn’t expect to see you here, not that I’m complaining.”

His eyes quickly swept over your frame, the respectful gentleman he was. You couldn’t contain your scoff. Even in black track pants and a muted pink top… guys really could be attracted to anything as long as it walked on two hind legs. 

“Bit cliche, don’t you think, Top.” You retorted with a halfhearted snort, gesturing to the cups. What was this, a freshman's first houseparty?

He rolled his eyes, extending one to you. The nefarious liquid sloshed over the rim and you shook your head. “Uh, no I’m good, thanks.”

He fixed you with a pointed look. “It looks like you could really use it.”

With a huff you snatched the cup from him, to which he chuckled. “I hate how you’re always right.”

He began to ferry you toward Kelce and their gaggle of friends who huddled around a small coffee table in the living room, passing a clumsily rolled joint between them. When Kelce’s wide-set brown eyes landed on you, he abruptly stood, knocking the table's contents in doing so as he manhandled you into his side. 

“How’s my favourite girl doing?”

He balanced the joint between two fingers, residual smoke clung to his body in a damp sheen. Your eyes watered as you suppress a cough, “Fine, until I caught a whiff of you.”

“C’mon, nothing takes the edge off like a good toke.” He waved it in front of your face, an offer, snorting as your face contorted into a grimace. 

“As great as that sounds,” You pushed his arm off its perch on your shoulder with a bitter smile. “Is Rafe here?”

“Yeah, pretty sure he went upstairs.” His hand absentmindedly flicked toward the staircase and you quickly excused yourself before they could become too attached to your presence.

The ambience upstairs was much more quaint than below, mainly consisting of couples who split off from their respective groups. A few were making out, some others collapsed asleep on the furnished floorboards; typical party antics reminding you as to why you generally avoided these places. 

The walk from your house had cooled your system, remedying your flighty instincts ever so slightly. This you were thankful for, as upon opening the final door along the lengthy hallway, you were met with Rafe’s determined gaze; and you knew he would demand answers.

“Been messaging you.” The mattress creaked as he lifted his weight off its surface. His gait was straight, steady, and this was perhaps the closest to sober you’d seen him in a long time.

“I know, I just wanted to see you in person.” Despite your best efforts, the burning of your eyes became so overbearing and you fought to hold back the overwhelming emotions coursing through your veins. It was like the moment someone asks if you're okay when it's obvious you're not, the floodgates open and emotions come crashing down around you in an unrelenting wave.

“Hey hey hey, what the fuck happened to you?” He rushed over, forcing you to face him with a firm grip on your shoulders. 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“The fuck it does,” His hands rubbed over his face exasperatedly as though he were controlling the urge to be rougher with you and extract an answer forcefully. “You can’t call me all hysterically crying and shit then give me nothing. Did someone hurt you? Did Thomas do something?”

The mere mention of his name sent you spiralling even further. “Alright, come on, sit down.” Rafe didn’t give you much of an option, dragging you to the bed in an iron grip then forcing you onto the black sheets as he sat beside you. 

“What happened?” 

“It’s Thomas.” You affirmed solemnly. 

 “I’ll kill him.” He seethed through his teeth and your head violently shook. 

“No, no I won’t tell you if that’s how you’re gonna respond.” He went to ark up but you interrupted him before he had the chance. “Rafe, I'm serious.”

“I’ll decide for myself once you tell me.”

With a heavy sigh, you finally conceded. “Do you remember that one girl from my theatre club? The diva one?”

“Who?” 

“Cindy! Blonde hair, beautiful. She was in your year level.”

Rafe’s brows furrowed in confusion. “I seriously don’t know who the fuck that is.”

“Whatever, it doesn’t really matter. Anyway, before me and Thomas started…dating, I found out he had a thing for her for quite some time.”

“So?”

“Jesus- just let me finish!” He reluctantly relented, nodding for you to continue. “Since you’re so impatient, I’ll tell you the short version: Thomas stopped liking her then me and him started dating. He thought we had something going on secretly and confided in Cindy…then he used that to justify sleeping with her.”

The silence which followed was like dust settling back onto the road; static but still very much disturbed. 

“What.” 

“There’s nothing else to say.” You croaked, dabbing your sodden eyes on your sleeve.

Not a moment later he shot up, pacing back and forth a few times before submitting to the battle raging in his head and storming toward the door. “Rafe, no you promised me–”

“I didn’t promise shit!” He whipped back around to face you, face wild with fury. “That motherfucker is gonna get what’s coming for him!”

“RAFE.” His cheeks were ablaze as you cupped them in your hands, eyes darting around sporadically as though he were high on adrenaline. “Please, I need you right now. What happens next is for another time. Let it rest.”

His nostrils flared as he finally met your eyes. You pulled him closer, sensing your words were having an effect, softly whispering another plea– and it was like deja vu when his lips met yours for the second time. Only it wasn’t. As he pressed himself firmly against you, unyielding in his advance, you realised this was truly happening again… and to your horror, it felt nice. 

In fact, you didn’t want it to stop. 

In the time you’d been together with…Thomas…the intimate experiences you shared allowed you to act with heightened confidence, no longer feeling the need to skittishly paw at his chest like a bunny caught by the big bad wolf. Now you moved with your own validity, placing your hands upon his taut chest and following the pace he set. 

His palm suddenly clamped down on your ass and you gasped into his mouth, surprised. Thomas was a respectful lover, never so daring, but Rafe’s impulsivity stirred a concoction of excitement and nervousness within your belly. 

He took this window of opportunity to dip the tip of his tongue into your mouth. Testing the waters at first, and when you showed no signs of disapproval, delving full throttle. “Shit,” He groaned, using his grip on your lower half as leverage to guide you backwards. 

Your libidinous scrambled brain only registered his intention when the backs of your knees came into contact with the bed, instigating your loss of balance. A pathetic squeak floated from your throat as you fell onto the soft confinements of whoevers sheets these were. 

Rafe didn’t hesitate to slot himself between your parted knees, crawling over your limp body like a predator readying itself to ravage a meal. His head dipped into the crevice of your neck, planting strategically placed kisses and sucking on the tender flesh, subsequently sowing the seeds of your growing excitement. 

But as he remained in that position– feverish palms exploring your clothed body, hot enough to burn through the fabric –your heart began to race. Why did you feel a shudder of anticipation run down your spine? What if he were to stop and really look at you? Why were you scared?

It wasn't until he gained the confidence to explore the curve of your body beneath the fabric that you jolted back into reality, your heart racing and breath catching in your throat.

“Wait!” He peeled himself off of you with an expectant look, blown pupils peeved by your interruption. “I’ve never done this before.”

You whispered it, timorously, ashamed even. 

You were expecting rejection, after all, that was the only response you ever received from Thomas. What you weren’t expecting, however, was his lips to twitch up in a haughty smirk, his desire for you not faltering whatsoever. You would even go as far as to say that the gleam which appeared in his eyes indicated that he found this revelation rather pleasing. 

“You trust me?” 

Your nod was automatic like a reflex, saving you from mulling over the question too deeply. In response he sat back on his thighs, swatting away your hands which had fallen to your stomach (perhaps subconsciously attempting to create a separation between the two of you) allowing him to slide your loose shirt above your navel and then over your chest, the material bunching around your neck. He marvelled at the exposed skin, tentatively brushing over your stomach causing you to squirm at the new sensation. 

“Then lay back and relax.” 

From then on, the sequence of events was a blur; a tangle of limbs and symphony of noises all coming together to form an incoherent memory. 

Your shirt was the first to come off, followed shortly by his. Rafe’s bare chest was nothing you hadn’t seen before, but in this context your vision was obscured by a rose tint. His sculpted biceps flexed as he worked on tugging your pants down and you couldn’t help but noticed the way he tucked his lower lip between his teeth in concentration or the dewy sheen covering his skin. 

It was akin to looking into a kaleidoscope for the first time and not knowing where to cast your gaze.

“If he thinks he can hurt you like this,” His firm lips danced across your throat.“Then he’s got another thing coming.” 

He spoke in a harsh growl, hooking his fingers beneath the straps of your bra and dragging them down in one sweeping motion. 

You squeaked in shook, heat blossoming beneath your cheeks at the abrupt exposure of your tits. Your tingling nipples quickly began to harden, and you weren’t sure if this was due to the draft slipping through the slightly ajar window or the firm attention Rafe was paying to your flesh. 

Nonetheless, your arms instinctively twitched upwards, preparing to cover yourself from his prying eyes. He anticipated this, however, promptly collecting your wrists and pinning them beside your head. 

“Don’t, don’t do that.” His voice exploded into a vehement tone. “I don’t even remember who that bitch is, let alone what she looks like…think that’s saying something.” 

Before your short circuiting brain could formulate a response, his lips descended upon your chest, laving at one of the sensitive buds before sucking on it harshly. Your body reacted viscerally, flailing at the newfound stimulation.You mewled, squirming, as he pulled away with a breathless chuckle.

“See what a girl like you does to a man.” He forced one of your hands down to his boxers. Your eyes widened as you felt how hard he was, and you let out a soft gasp as he throbbed around your palm.

“Feel that? Yeah, that’s all you baby.”

“Rafe, ple–” Your breath hitched as his knee drove forward, the delicious pressure nudging into your clothed core. 

“Go on, I want to hear you say it.” 

“Please…”

“Already speechless? That’s cute.” His words had you shrinking in on yourself, trying to flee from the heat radiating off his body. “It’s alright, I know what you need.”

While your racing thoughts kept you occupied, you were oblivious to the fact that Rafe had removed his knee from between your legs, opting to slink his deft fingers inside the flimsy cotton of your underwear. That was, of course, until you felt something foreign swiping against your most sensitive area, teasingly prodding at the tight entrance. You flinched, shuddering beneath the unfamiliarity of his touch.

“I’m gonna fuck you now, okay?”

Your head bobbed up and down ardently, voice tiny and breathless and he grinned. “Okay.”

“Okay then.” 

Your body fell in and out of consciousness, wrecked from a night filled with both pleasure and anguish. When you did finally wake up, it was well into the night. The heavy breaths falling onto you from behind drowned out the eerie silence of the house. A gust of wind howled through the night sky, and your naked form shivered as the cold managed to slither beneath the sheets.

Rafe’s arm laid heavy across your waist. Anchoring you down as though— even in sleep —he was paranoid you’d slip away. You carefully lifted his arm, halting as his breathing accelerated before replacing your warmth with a pillow.

The first step went surprisingly smoothly… but that must’ve been a fluke as what came next was nearly debilitating. 

An aching pang shot up between your legs, sharp and sudden. You gasped, clutching onto the bed frame for support. The sensation wasn’t extremely painful, rather unpleasant and even worse it acted as a punishing reminder of the choices you’d made tonight. 

What you just did.  

Fumbling around the floor on all fours was equally deplorable and you now understood what others meant when they described the after fact as a ‘walk of shame.’ 

You eventually located your pants, desperately patting them down to find your phone. The screen flashed on when you pulled it out of the pocket and you hissed as the harsh light penetrated your retinas, a dull throb settling between your eyes.

There was a flurry of texts from Thomas. Apologies, explanations, and pleas for a response. He’d left your house without much resistance earlier in the evening as you cried for him to do so, but it seemed he wasn’t giving up on you so easily. 

Your heart clenched painfully, and it was as though all of the synapses in your brain fired at once; What have you done?

A pool of saliva formed within your mouth, stomach suddenly churning. You stumbled across the floor, making a beeline for the ensuite as your throat heaved. In a matter of seconds after collapsing on the floor before the toilet, you were vomiting into the bowl. Violent hurls which only subsided once you were completely empty. 

Could you be any more putrid? 

The facet rasped as you turned it, a steady flow of water filling the bathtub as you rinsed out the vile taste in your mouth. It was bitingly cold as you slowly lowered each aching limb into the water, sighing in relief as your body acclimatised and began to relax. 

When you were on the cusp of sleep once again, you started cleaning yourself. Scrubbing your skin raw with soapy suds until the water turned a sickening pink and you felt sick for the second time that night. 

You dipped below the water and watched as bubbles rose to the surface. 

viii.

Everything was becoming surreal. 

In half an hour your given moniker would be permanently altered. It was the ‘essence of your identity’ your mother would say, but you’d never been particularly sentimental about it. This likely stemmed from your childhood. As a girl, you used to long for a prince mounted upon a dark stallion to come and sweep you off your feet with promises of a perfect future; all that was required in exchange was a simple change of your name. 

Of course, reality hit like a truck when you learnt that there weren’t enough princes around for each little girl in the world. But still, perhaps your expectations had been too high. 

Mrs. Hughes.

Mrs. Hughes.

Mrs. Hughes. 

There was a certain ring to it which you couldn’t quite pinpoint, similar to when you found a puzzle piece which looks right, but it isn’t the exact fit.   

After kicking everyone out of the room, you’d spent the last fifteen minutes distracting yourself by mulling over your appearance. The seamstress did everything she could to preserve the original cut of the dress but was ultimately forced to make it backless due to the inflexible time constraint.

Despite the reassuring gushes you’d received from the bridesmaid’s, you couldn’t help but feel exposed. The material which once clung taut against your curves now flowed freely in all its feathered glory, displaying the tender expanse of your back to all those who came to witness. 

A firm knock reverberated off the oak door and your lips pinched down in a small frown; you’d been explicit in your desire to be alone.

You cracked the door ajar, bewildered to be met with the familiar blue orbs of the eldest Cameron upon peeking out into the hallway. His pale blue suit was neatly pressed and tailored to his body, a black bow tie complimenting the look, making him appear youthful.

“...What are you doing?” You whispered incredulously, glancing to each side of the empty corridor.

He flashed you a grin, holding up a long-neck bottle with a pretty red ribbon wrapped around it like a noose. “Wanted to say my congratulations. I’m guessing you’ll be a bit tied up later on.”

“You’re not supposed to be here,” His head tilted to the left in confusion and you sighed, “It’s bad luck.”

He hummed, smirk grew patronising as he deadpanned; “I thought that rule only applied to the groom?” 

“Is this for me?” You chose to ignore his previous remark, gesturing to the bottle he still held in his possession. 

“Yeah. Rose wanted to give it to you herself but she was more than happy to let me do so when I offered.” You knew what he was hinting at; she missed having you around to keep her stepson in line. You didn’t know why you were surprised, it was in the Cameron's DNA to stoop to sly tactics.

"Mind if I come in?" Your reluctance must’ve been evident by your unwavering grip on the door. He rolled his eyes, voice now tinged with a touch of condescension. "C’mon. One last hurrah, that’s all I ask for."

What can five minutes hurt? Then hopefully he’ll leave you alone for the rest of the night. “Alright, fine, but make it quick.” 

You clicked the door shut, aimlessly lingering by the window as he lined up two of the clean champagne glasses leftover from the earlier celebrations. The side seams of his suit tapered around his shoulders, extenuating the strain of his muscles and they rippled beneath the fabric. You averted your gaze, choosing to fix it on a lone swan floating out on the lake instead. 

“Thought I should say,” He turned to face you as he removed the cork with surprising ease, the stopper not even popping as it was released. “You look beautiful.” 

You snorted, brushing over a crease in the thick curtain. “That’s just custom speaking.”

He seemed genuinely miffed by your comment, mouth hanging open with a small huff. “That right there is proof that no one takes me seriously, I mean it.”

“Well thanks, I appreciate it. I did end up fitting into the dress so, guess I proved you wrong.”

His brows furrowed as the cardinal liquid poured into the glass. “Don’t tell me you took that to heart? I was just fuckin’ with you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

He brought the two glasses over by the stem, passing the one which was filled exceptionally fuller to you. 

“Going easy?” 

“Designated driver.” He affirmed, leaning against the opposite side of the window frame. 

Your mouth opened, a soft ‘ah’ flicking off your tongue. “I must say I’m surprised and impressed.”

With a humoured scoff, his eyes rolled to the back of his head. “Alright, it’s your special day, what are we toasting to?”

You stilled for a moment, scouring your mind for something appropriate to say. When it came to you, you grinned: “May you be in heaven a full half-hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”

He hummed in approval before extending his arm to meet your glass somewhere in the middle.

“Cheers to that.” You said in unison, falling silent as you downed the entirety of your drink– it was your day after all, so fuck it, you were going to need some liquid courage to make it through the coming hours. 

The drink was shockingly sweet, oozing down your throat like a hot teaspoon of honey and you grimaced. “What is this?” 

Rafe shrugged, placing his untouched glass down. “Some guy who distils it himself. Disgusting, right?”

“That’s an understatement.”           

Words died in the air between you, lost and forgotten as a thick silence surrounded you both. The energy within the room grew dense, tensions steadily simmering and only increasing in intensity. You squirmed in your position, noticing as Rafe grew fidgety; something was dancing on the tip of his tongue, ready to be released. 

“Remember when I told you that your mum was worried ‘bout you?”

“...Yeah.” How could you forget, his drunken induced admission which soon followed still haunted your psyche. 

“Was any of that true about you acting strangely?”

“Your timing is truly impeccable.” Any of the previous lightness was sponged from your tone, replaced by defensive shrill which was painful to your own ears. 

“I’m just sayin’, it’s good to get this shit out in the open before everything is finalised, don’t you think?” He began to gesticulate with his hands, flapping motions which were distracting. 

“There’s nothing to ‘get out.’ I’ve had my doubts, but that’s normal. My mind is clear now.” You stated firmly, struggling to believe that he would have the audacity to question your decision just as it was about to come to fruition. 

“Is it?” His words carried a soft almost sympathetic note, as though you were a child and he was trying not to upset you. 

“Is it what?” 

“Is it normal to have doubts? I mean that reaction before didn’t seem very convincing to me.”He let his breath out in a soft sigh as your gaze remained defensive, backed into a corner like pitiful prey. “You see what this is telling me? That you don’t know how to make a decision that’s good for you.”

Your head was reeling, throbbing as the lights intensified, the artificial brightness causing you to squint. You were struggling to think, yet alone formulate a sentence. All you could conjure up was a childish response: “Shut up, shut up.”

The room tilted as you abruptly stood, staggering forward like a limp doll. You were on a rollercoaster, extremities weighed down by the impressive force of gravity. Rafe caught you before you could collapse, supporting your nape against his chest. Confusion ebbed through your veins as you clung onto him, a delicate whimper falling from your lips.

“Steady now.”

“Wha…” Your heart thumped realising how slurred your speech had become. 

His hand drummed along the exposed skin, shushing your protests. “It's okay,” a soft and hungry whisper. He drew the zipper down. An expanse of naked, supple skin awaited. A fresh carcass, ready for the taking. 

“I'm prepared to make that decision for you.”

[kaiaelsher]

—color theory.

Summary: Surely the marks he's left all over your body, especially on your neck that is unable to be covered by your oh-so-charismatic Hunter Unform aren't going to disappear out of shame to follow common public decency by itself, so of course Rafayel is going to help.

Contains: rafayel/reader, grammatical errors, fluff, estabilished relationship(?), clingy and down-bad rafayel, but you're just as down bad as he is, suggestiveness (they were having it the night before), but nothing more, and ... self-insert?

Notes: i'm doing this because a scenario suddenly popped into my head so ... here's a kinda short fic? I guess?

Last night was the night.

It was when you truly feel like you've became one with Rafayel.

It doesn't mean like you feel disconnected from him before, but like two strings that was twisting around each other for what felt like an endless amount of time - the ends of the string finally tied together last night, bond that cannot be changed is no longer one-sided. That's how you feel, and you know for real that the Lemurian who is now half-sulking before you felt similiar.

"Should you really go today?" you can see how his straight pretty eyebrows - one of your most favorite features of him, by the way - is knitted together as his lips formed a thin pout. You are now sitting on the couch, hands working to button up your hunter uniform as you stared at the man before you fondly.

"I'll return here after work instead of my apartment," you offered consolation, and Rafayel crossed his arms.

Honestly, if it wasn't for Captain Jenna's urging for you to come, you maybe would have give in and said you were sick just to tangle with him within any area in this place, but unfortunately, the matter about aether core is not going to solve itself if there is no helping hand.

"It would be very mean of you if you don't after what we did last night," he replied, as sassy as he always have. If only you aren't feeling so loving towards him right now, you probably would reply with a sassy remark as well until he's left with silence filling his vocabulary, he took a peek of you through the corner of his eye, halfly mumbling, "of course you have to come back here."

God, you feel so cheesy, you know it, and maybe both your future and past self would immediately be cringed by how you acted as you smiled wider, barely holding back giggles, you acted like you are the side character from a rom-com drama who would worship the ground their partner walk on with all sorts of disgustingly cheesy words written all over your script for the sake of comedic relief, making the main characters be disgusted by how cheesy you are.

"Right, of course," you nodded, "I'll make sure to come back home as soon as my shift ends."

Home.

Just you so casually calling this place; in which he resides 'home' is enough to turn his mind into mush, Rafayel almost cursed himself through his breaths for being so easy for you, but at the end, it was and it has always been you, the girl who would recklessly stab then slice open her own chest to hand him her own heart if he says he wanted it.

He watched as you strode over the near-by vanity, sat yourself on it and grab a concealer, ready to dab them over the reddening small little circles on your neck - marks he's left all over you in exchange of how you have marked his very soul. Before his mind could muster up things, Rafayel immediately walked to your direction, his hand holding yours in place.

".... Rafayel?" you called out of confusement.

Does he want you to just walk around with these marks in your neck that screamed 'I just had a mind-blowing sex!' to everyone with eyes? You guessed.

Well, you considered it once more, it might be kind of embarrassing, but if Rafayel wants that to make people understand that you have someone (who is none other than him), then who are you to refus-

"Only concealer is not enough to cover that," he spoke, interrupting your mind, "you need a color corrector first."

-oh.

You cleared your throat and nodded in acknowledgement as you watch him walk over to some shelves.

Damn it. You feel so embarrassed with the way you're thinking things right now that you wish you could just smash your face to the mirror infront of you - at least the blood that would seep out through the glass' pierces would cover how you are blushing- are you blushing right now? Well, you don't know, you don't dare looking at the mirror after the embarrassment you brought upon yourself, you chose that you'd rather have your eyes locked onto Rafayel's direction.

Rafayel finally returned to your side with a green color corrector with its applicator in his hand, he lowered his posture to be face-to-face with your neck, and you yourself could feel the back ache he might be feeling after that. So this time it's your turn to wrap your hand around his wrist - holding his hand in place.

"Isn't it too uncomfortable in this kind of position?" you said in genuine concern, eyes meeting his, then it traveled to his back with the help of your tilted head, "your back might get hurt."

Rafayel almost feel offended. Hello? Do you somehow see him as an old geezer who can't even manage to bend just for a little amount of time? Do you forget how did he take you just last night? The man almost opened his mouth, but soon, upon realization of what kind of advantage could he take from this pure concern of yours, he feel a tug on the corner of his mouth, but he tried to resist.

"Hmm, you're right," he straight up his posture once more, his hand, that is currently holding applicator, touched his chin, displaying a fake consideration of situations. He furrowed his eyebrows, before then glancing at you with a new gleam in his eyes. "Then ..."

You were pulled up to stand from your seat before he sat himself on the plush of seat that was yours, then, you felt the familiar hands of his - but also the feel of product's packaging since he hasn't put them down on the table - on either side of your waist, lifting you (just to show how strong he is) and place you on his laps.

He looked up at you with mischievous glint in his eyes, juxtaposing the surprise in yours. Your hands reflexively placed on his shoulders.

"... this should be better, yeah?" the yeah came out in throaty whisper. "By the way, thanks for your very caring nature towards a very weak creature like I am, Miss Bodyguard."

".... I take it back," you said, expression changing. And Rafayel only chuckled.

"Uh oh," the man shook his head, "once someone have given me something, I won't let them take it back, and it also apply to you, don't think I would exclude you in any of my petty self-law just because I love you, cutie."

You scowled, but everyone in this room definitely know that the disdain you've been displaying since seconds ago were nothing but a mere pretense, you barely manage to conceal how much you actually like this situation, shown by how your hand now started to rub itself against his face, and Rafayel, as usual, tilted his head to follow your hand's direction, you know he knows.

You tilted up your head slightly the moment he started to apply the light shade of green- tea green? (you don't know colors' names, you'll start asking Rafayel later on) To spots on your neck attentively, luckily enough, your gaze still managed to find him through the lower corner of your eyes, from this angle, you realize how beautiful his lashes were. You've long known how fluffy his hair is, but your hand moved to touch it again to find out.

"Green cancels out red," he explained, "if you wanted to apply concealer on reddish marks like these next time, make sure to apply tea green color corrector first."

"Okay," you replied, "that means you'll leave reddish marks on me again next time, right?"

Rafayel blushed, and he cleared his throat.

"Pay attention," he warned.

"I am," paying attention to the blush on your ears, to the beautiful curl of your lashes, and to the beautiful tiny sways of your hair, you continued inwardly.

Gods, how you wished you could just stay like this forever until your bones might not recognize any positions beside when you're sitting on his laps.

[patrophthia]

congrats for the 1K!! would love to read a fic where reader has been loosing her vaseline lip therapy boxes and she asks theo where it’s gone, he says he doesnt know abt them but he took some 2 see why reader likes it sm & now hes obsessed aswell 🥹 thx uu

hi omg thank you! i always see you on my notifs and am so glad you finally sent in an ask!!!

dirty little liar | theodore nott

pairing: theodore nott x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship, shy theo and he’s so cute about it

part of my 1k celebration event !

Theodore Nott (your beloved boyfriend) is a dirty little liar. He wasn’t a good liar at the start of your relationship, and he sure as hell wasn’t one now; sitting pretty on the Slytherin’s common room sofa with his bag a few inches away from him, the flaps open after his attempts at pulling out a quill.

You’re slightly frustrated when you find him, brows furrowed as you scan your surroundings for the small tub you’ve grown so fond off. “Theo, have you seen my lip therapy?”

Theodore cocks his head at your words, feigning cluelessness as to what your ‘lip therapy’ was. “No?” He supplies, sounding unsure of himself.

You don’t really think too much of it though, this was the third time this week you’ve asked him this very question. Each time pretending as if he doesn’t know what it was you’re looking for.

“Are you sure?” You ask again with a slight disappoint glint in your eyes.

He hesitates, wanting to let up yet he’s played this game for too long to let loose of it so easily. “Mhmm,” he hums.

You sigh, taking a seat besides him on the sofa. Your thigh bumps into his bag slightly, knocking out the contents within its pocket. You frown a bit, picking up the items that spills out of it.

Gum. Quill. A few sickles. Eye drops. Another quill. Vaseline lip therapy.

Wait, Vaseline lip therapy?

You hold the small container in your hand, looking up at Theodore suspiciously to only find him looking back at you with a sheepish smile. You have half the mind to throw it at his face and call him a filthy liar while the other half of you want to shut down and take in the utter betrayal from your boyfriend’s actions. Instead, you stay calm and ask him to: “explain yourself.”

Theodore bites the corner of his cheeks, eyeing the tub in your hand carefully. “Uhm— you’ve always had it— it was always laying around, and I knew you used it so kept it for you.”

“You kept it for me?” You ask him, untrusting. Theodore nods. “Then why did you say no when I asked you if you’ve seen it.”

He’s dead. Not figuratively. He just really fucked up, didn’t he? “I forgot?” As if it couldn’t have gotten worse, he gives you the worst lie you’ve ever heard.

“Right.” You’re nodding, and he thinks he might actually get away with it. But things are never that easy, is it? “Tell me the truth or we’re through.”

Surely, you don’t mean— nope, your face is too stern for you to be bluffing. He’s shy when he answers you truthfully: “you’re always using it I just— I wanted to know why you liked it so much so I tried it and just forgot to place it back where I found it.”

“And the other two?”

“Malfoy and Zabini saw me using it and stole it for themselves,” he grunts, clearly annoyed by his friends behaviors. You laugh and he’s the one to frown now. “What?”

“Nothing,” you giggle, “you’re just cute.”

The tip of his ears singes red, cheeks heating at your words. “So you’re not mad at me?”

You laugh again, rolling your eyes playfully as you tossed the small container in his direction. He catches it with ease, eyes shifting between you and the tub. “Just mad enough to remind you that you owe me three of these little replacements.”

When you stand up, his dark eyes are still on yours; lips jutting out slightly as your warmth slips away from the sofa where you sat mere seconds ago. And when you lean down, placing a short kiss on his lips (one he was quick to return) out of pity, you can’t help but comment on how it: “seems like the stolen products were doing its job.”

— from bee: i need to apologize for long it took me to write this, im really sorry bae omg TT

[ch4nb4ng]

Give it to me Straight

Pairing: Minho x afab!reader

Genre: Best friend's forbidden older brother

Word Count: 9.1 k (yeah we got carried away once again)

Warnings: Based off of inspo (here) and (here) that is also literally porn so dont click if u dont want to see you have been warned.

Also contains: smut, worshipping, angst, mentions of alcohol and intoxication, fingering (f receiving), kissing, penetration, lots and lots of praise, semi soft smut

Notes: HEY!! this is a fic i wrote hald of last year and just forgot about it and found and decided to finish it, hope oyu enjoy !!

Summary: You had enough of your best friend brother, Minho, giving you mixed signals as you grew up, but this. This was the night that you were finally going to do something about it

The night was pretty much over, or well, it should have been. But here you were, sitting on the floor of a random person’s apartment, giggling over and over as you looked at the other 8 people also sitting down in a circle next to you. There were your friends, Sana and Hyunjin, and there were the others. Actually, quite frankly, you did not know these people until tonight. There was one person that was there, that you did know, all too well.

Minho, Lee Minho. Friend, foe? You weren’t sure what to call him, but all you knew was that you were grinding on him in the club an hour ago, hands roaming across your body, lips, teeth on your neck. It was fun, one shot after another had your mind racing, thinking about the possibilities of what could happen after you went home, with him. What wasn’t helpful was the guilt that came with such excitement. 

“Fuck okay,” the stranger yelled, clapping his hands before swinging them, taking the empty vodka bottle off the kitchen bench, “let’s play a good ole fashion game of spin the bottle. Who’s in?”

“Me me me!”

The small crowd cheered in unison, but all you could do was stare at him. More guilt, more excitement, more adrenaline. The thought of kissing him did nothing but intensify the want, the need, the desire to. Wanting to hook up with your best friend’s older brother was the worst thing that you could want at this very moment.

The relationship with Minho was always strange and never straightforward. Even from the first time the two of you met. Your best friend of almost 10 years since you had been in elementary school, he was just different towards you. When you were younger, all he did was pick on you. The short scrawny boy, only a couple of years older than you. Would always chase you around the school yard, always until you fell over, or hurt yourself in some kind of way. You hated him, and had no idea why he always picked on you specifically. 

It changed in middle school, however, after puberty, well, more for him. His face changed, grew taller, much more attractive in your 14 year old eyes. You denied it though, remembering how cruel he was to you. Not much changed personality wise, he was still mean. Picking on you, your grades, his sister, her grades. He was ruthless, and it made you hate him even more. Minho’s looks were easy to overlook when everything that came out of his mouth was rubbish.

It wasn’t until he left for college, and came back for summer after finishing his first year, did things change. He had grown even taller, started working out, and had joined his college’s dance team. Holy fuck did things became different. His smile beamed as soon as he walked in and you in his house, sitting at the kitchen bench. 

***

“Y/n?”

You turned around, jaw dropping the moment you laid your eyes on him. He dropped everything, fast walking towards you as he picked you up, spinning you around with a large chuckle erupting from his chest. He put you down, eyes doing a quick check up and down your body before biting down on his bottom lip.

“Minho?”

“Wow, you look, really, really good.”

His stance was close, almost lingering over you, that was, until your best friend walked in, causing him to step away, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked to the fridge so nonchalantly. Your friend gave you a weird look, mouthing a ‘sorry,’ solely for his presence in the room. They never were that close.

“I forgot to tell you that he got back a few days ago and is going to be here for the summer.”

“That’s okay,” you scoffed, overexaggerated manner, “why would you need to tell me that.”

“Because I know how he can be,” she whispered, “rude, mean, very obnoxious and super, super arrogant.” 

The second half of her sentence was louder, looking straight at him to make sure she knew. You just laughed, nervously, unsure how to take in the interaction.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” she sighed, “please don’t bully my only friend while I’m gone.”

The man rolled his eyes, laughing as he took a large gulp from his water bottle. He walked forward, waiting for her to leave before reassessing his position. His hands leaned against the bench, body pushing forward as he leaned towards you, a smirk appearing on his lips as he looked down at you.

“I have to go, meeting a friend at the gym, but it was really, really good to see you. We should hang out sometimes if you’re free, you know, without her?”

“We should?”

“Yes,” he smirked, biting down on his bottom lip, “definitely.”

***

“Okay,” the stranger announced to himself, “I’ll go first.”

The game felt like torture. Simply watching the bottle, casting your eyes on what seemed to be an infinite amount of times, spinning on an axis. It didn’t help you at all. If anything, it intensified how dizzy you truly were feeling. Concentration was getting harder, but you refused. Refused to give up anything. You did not want to prove Minho’s point. That you would always be this little girl that is easy to pick on.

“Oh my god,” Hyunjin nudged you, “Y/n, psst, the bottle is on you.”

His knock cloaked you out of your drunken daze, bringing some sobriety back as he pointed towards the bottle, eyes opening when you saw it land on you. You looked up, seeing the stranger was already there. He was attractive, short black hair, hazel eyes, freckles. He was really cute, and your brain melted the longer he gazed at you.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you whispered, hand in front of your mouth as you giggled at his proximity. You didn’t have to look. The feeling of a pair of eyes burning into the side of your head was more than enough to know who had their eyes on you, and who didn’t. Chan did not, already ditching the game and sloppily making out with the person next to him. Hyunjin followed in pursuit, and Jisung and Sana, well, that was another story, a long time coming. The glance was brief, not long enough to focus on anybody, but well enough to know your surroundings. Enough to see the girl, who looked very familiar, but not enough to be identified by name, whisk her fingers across his inner thigh. He stayed still, not paying any mind to her as he fixated on you. The man joined in the staring contest, noticing Minho’s obviously unimpressed glare. 

He swung his head back in your direction, pushing his body weight on you in the slightest. You followed, back now adjacent to the floor as he leaned over, lips hovering over your own. You brought your index finger to his lips, curious to know more about the man before he kissed you.

“Wait.”

“Is something wrong?” His facial expression changed, unsure as to why or what made you hesitate.

“Oh, no,” you giggled, full of giddyness and intoxication, “your name. I just wanted to know your name before we, well, you know.”

The man smirked, cupping your face in adoration as he leaned closer, lips wisping across your ear as he spoke.

“Well aren’t you just the cutest?”

He pulled away, eyes back in level with your own as he spoke once more, “Felix. I’m Felix.”

That was all you needed, wrapping your arms around Felix’s neck as you pulled him in, eyes closing and mouth opening and lips attacking yours. The kiss in reality, from an outside perspective, would have looked very messy. Very sloppy as lips missed each other, teeth crashed together, and also the fact that you could feel Felix’s hips moving against your own in the slightest, already half hard member grinding against your thigh. It did feel good, you couldn’t fib to yourself. The gentle friction was delicious. It was enough to make you moan discreetly, the sound lost in Felix’s mouth as the two of you continued. 

You were enjoying yourself, but you also remembered not to lose yourself in the moment. Felix was fun, but he was just part of the plan. A simple pawn in a game of chess, of course being the queen and Minho the king. Sometimes you have to make some unnecessary moves to win in the long term. Even with your eyes closed, you could still feel his own burning into the back of your head. If sober, you most likely would have been feeling some kind of guilt. It wasn’t like you to rub things in other people’s faces. But you felt like it was only fitting. Yes, you wanted Minho, but after everything, your timeline with him, having a crush on him for the longest time regardless that he made your life hard, it only felt right to drag this out as much as possible. 

Your eyes fluttered open, empty lidded shooting daggers at him. Appraisal came to your mind when his daggers were returned, gaze still very much fixated on you, with Felix, making out with another man right in front of him. His blood was searing, reaching boiling point at a very rapid rate. He knew you were a lot of things. Sarcastic, blunt, ‘indifferent’ towards him as you got older, or so he thought. But he didn’t take you to be a tease. He was reaching the point of no return, and if you didn’t stop this act, this play scene just for him, he was going to do something he regretted.

“Hmm fuck,” Felix grumbled, pulling away from you, “has anyone ever told you that you’re a really good kisser?”

Your eyes flickered back to the man on top of you, quickly averting your gaze to avoid any deflections from Minho, Chan, or any of the others there that you knew.

“Hey man, what are you doing?”

You sat up immediately, looking up to see Minho’s friend, Jisung, standing over you. His tone was playful, but the adrenaline was kicking in. The several times you met Minho’s friends, they were decent enough to be nice to your face. Anytime you went over, you could hear them. Talking about how you look, always asking Minho about you. Just them teasing him about you. Maybe it was the reason as to why he had so much disdain for you. They were also protective, very protective of him, and probably the reason why they were standing over you right now.

“Oh hey man, you’re not her boyfriend are you?”

“Who, me?” Jisung laughed, hard, almost hysterically, bringing a hand to his chest to calm himself down, “no no, not me, but the guy over there might be a little mad that you’re making out with his girl.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing onto Felix’s arm, other hand tucking under his chin as you pressed another haste kiss to his lips. You gave Minho one more look, noticing his fists turned inwards, hard shaped as he watched your interactions with the new guy accelerating.

“Good,” He smirked, standing up, and reaching a hand out to you as an invitation, “Did you want to hang out in my room? It’s just down the hall.”

“Sure,” you replied bluntly as you took his invitation. You allowed Felix to guide you, taking one last look at Jisung. Before making your way, you were interrupted one more time. It made you scoff when Minho grabbed your wrist, finally able to do something himself, not his friends doing it for him.

“Y/n?”

“What do you want?”

“Where are you going?”

“What do you think?”

With a heavy grip, attempting to shake yourself out of his grip. There was no way you were giving up on this act yet.

“You just met the guy tonight?”

“Okay and? It’s not like that ever stopped you before. At least I’m not at home, forcing everyone else to hear you late at night.”

He looked down, knowing he had been beaten to the punch. You resisted once more, able to come out of his grip as you looked up and down at him once more, “Stop acting like you give a shit what I do.”

You watched him open his mouth, but missed out on whatever he was going to say. You laughed to yourself, the swift motion of the man from the other side, Felix, the one who was giving you the attention you needed right now. Without a word, he closed the door behind you, spare hand placed on your lower back as he lead you to what seemed to be his bed.You sat down first, Felix making quick work as he stood over you once more, index finger stuck on your shoulder as he effortlessly as he ‘pushed’ you over, torso hovering on top of yours, just like he did previously. You had to give it to him. This Felix guy was smooth. The way he looked down at you, raking your body with every single eye nerve, the gentle twitch when he noticed extra skin showing on your body for a slight moment. He definitely was contributing to your uprising arousal, but the thing that really turned you on was the mere possibility of Minho hearing this. Having his ear up to the door, curious to see what you would really do.

“Hey,” Felix whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, taking you out of your thoughts completely, “everything okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, where were we?”

You brought a hand to his arm, rubbing up and down in a soothing motion as his own came back to your chin, pinching it forward, lips doting to reconnect with his. His lips were smooth, not a crack or dry spot in sight or in feeling. The kiss was a lot more connected, a lot more teamwork and passion. His tongue lazily slipped inside of your mouth, picking up with much brute and force as his hips charged, recreating the prior friction against your core. Felix had one hand on the side of your jaw, the one on your chin snaking around and cascading down, in between your cleavage, past your navel, brimming on the edge of your undergarment line. You gasped, immediately, not expecting things to move so quickly. A stifled whimper escaped your lips, enjoying the friction his fingers created around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Oh,” you groaned, slightly high pitched and confused at first, but once his fingers dived past your dress, underneath your core, right in the center of your sweet spot, you groaned again, a deeper, more gratifying noise bellowing in response.

“Does that feel good?”

“Mhm,” you whispered, looking up at him, “feels so good already.”

Your hand felt dizzy again, a lightheaded texture adding. You weren’t sure if it was his fingers or the alcohol speaking, but it most likely was the loud bang that came from the east part of the room. You jumped immediately, bumping heads with Felix as you quickly covered yourself, given no time to fix your hair as you were being dragged out, Minho’s jaw clenched as he walked you out.

“Sorry, uh Felix, it was nice to meet you,” you yelled down the hallway, pushed all the way to the front door.

“Minho what the fuck?”

“Shut up and get in the car,” he growled, not putting up with any nonsense that you were about to spew at him, “Jisung’s taking us all home, your friends included.”

“Ugh, whatever,” you scoffed, the digging of his fingers becoming slightly painful. You opened the door, seeing Hyunjin’s smirk as soon as he saw you, hand in hand with Minho. He never had to say anything, he always knew how you felt about him, even when it wasn’t clear to you. 

The midnight breeze was very apparent, hitting you like a truck. The goosebumps on your skin raised in an instant, shiver running down your spine as you walked. Minho let go of your wrist, removing his jump over his head, and plopping it on top of yours. You wanted to turn, scream at him for ruining your hair, not even thinking about your makeup. But honestly, you were just tired. It was late. 

***

You pushed the button down in the backseat, letting the cool breeze smack you across the face as Jisung drove down the highway. It felt nice, distracting you from the imminent pressing of your best friend’s brother inconveniently pressing up against you, too big for the middle seat. Of course he had to sit next to you. Invade your personal space, your privacy. He was still overprotective of you, even when you were by yourselves. It was annoying, and you really didn’t know why he was always like this with you after the needless torture that was gorwing up with him around. 

You decided to put the window up, a sudden drowsiness coming over you as you leaned your head against the window. Your eyes were fluttering, half lidded when you felt someone whispering, right up to your ear. His lips were cold, roughly but incidentally lingering on your lobe.

“Y/n,” Minho hushed, patting your arm lightly, “y/n, baby.”

“Mhm,” you mumbled, furrowing your eyebrows, “what is it?”

“We’re here, wake up.”

“Oh,” you sighed, releasing your weight on the window. Your eyes opened, turning from the window, which was a big mistake. You caught yourself, inches away from your face. Apart from the club, it was the closest you had been ever to him. You saw him, looking down at your lips, causing you to gulp loudly. You wanted to lean in, push away all the doubt you had in your mind, and follow your heart. To have him on your lips, around your body, caressing every crevice, every curve. It was something you had fantasized about in your head several times, whether you wanted to or not. Your hand flew to his chest, truly speechless and unsure what to say.

“Minho. I-”

He licked his lips, fingers latching onto your jaw, thumb against the subtlety of your lips. He flipped, lip bouncing back as he leaned even closer. His breath had never felt so imminent, not even the first time the two of you had shared a kiss.

***

“Did you need help?”

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest, about to lose balance on the stool. The tea bags were high in the cupboard, and you weren’t the tallest person going around. Minho put his arms out, helping you adjust yourself before stepping down and back onto the ground.

“Yeah,” you chuckled, “you know me, never able to reach anything.”

“It’s okay, they’re stored pretty high up.”

Without giving you time to move, he reached over, torso pressed against your chest, half of his body weight leaning on you as he reached up to grab one for you. Your face rose in heat as he placed it on the bench behind you, keeping firm in his position.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, still not moving, “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh, uhm no, it’s okay” you mumbled back, pushing the hair behind your ear. He beat you to the other side, lifting his fingers, watching how delicately the fibers of your hair curved along your ear lobe. 

Faces inching closer, it felt like do or die, but you would rather get hit by a truck than make the first move. Minho was the type to flirt, hard. He knew he could get anyone he wanted. College really changed him. For the better though, even if it meant he became a mass fuckboy.

“You have a really, uhm, beautiful face.”

He had become nervous all of a sudden, and you couldn’t help but smile. Smile at both his nerves and slight awkwardness, as well as his proximity. 

“Uhm thanks,” you mumbled again, scared that if you attempted to speak at a normal volume, it would squeak, “you have a nice face as well.”

“Shut up,” he mumbled, piercing eyes boring into yours.

“Make me.”

He hesitated for a brief moment, before bringing both hands to your face, pressing his lips to yours. It was soft at first, a series of gentle pecks you wrapped your hand palms around his neck, keeping him close. His body felt good, right when close to you.

It didn’t take long for things to heat up however, Minho’s tongue begging for access as you gave it to him willfully, a gentle hum as he simultaneously rolled his hips into yours once. A soft groan escaped your lips, causing him to pull away. The smirk on his face was priceless; you knew he was satisfied with himself. His hands snaked down to your waist, lifting you up and placing you on the kitchen bench. Minho nudged your leg with his left knee, spreading them wide, allowing himself to fit into the curve. He kept his digits across your fingertips, gently tapping as he leaned back in, skipping the innocent kisses and heading straight to a heavy, heavy makeout. The noises erupting were increasing in quantity, and it wasn’t until you heard footsteps running down the steps were you snapped back into reality. Hands on his chest, you pushed him off quickly, pushing your hair back in front of your face.

“Y/n what’s taking you so long?”

“Oh uhm, I was just trying to reach the teabags.”

“Yeah,” Minho joined in, helping you cover your ass, “I just grabbed it for her, seeing as she was already in my way to get to the glasses, annoying ass.”

“Okay whatever weirdo,” she replied to him, “stop annoying Y/n.”

***

The memory of the flashback playing in spurts, ones that your intoxicated mind was probably failing to accurately recall the event. It was, however, enough for you to pull away. Saying nothing, you turned away, opening the car door, semi-stumbling onto the ground as you jumped out the car, heading towards his front door. Luckily your best friend was out of town, away on a camping weekend with her boyfriend and her parents, because if she heard you walking in with Minho, it was game over.

“Y/n,” he whispered, tone harsh like he wanted to yell, “y/n.”

It was nothing but a faint noise in the distance. You stood there, in front of the door, impatiently waiting for it to be unlocked. It wasn’t until you could feel him. He grabbed your wrist, almost having to yank you back to stop you.

“What,” you whispered back, similar in tone, “what do you want?”

He waited. It looked like he was trying to put a thought together, knowing that he needed to say something very important. It could make or break: everything. He took a step closer, that familiar feeling of adrenaline, no, some other feeling that you couldn’t describe. Made your heart race, body sweat. You couldn’t put your finger on what it was. All you knew was that it only happened when he was around you.

“I’m, I’m sorry.”

You looked up at him, adoration at how gentle his skin glowed in the moonlight. Fuck, this was annoying. Why did he have to be so hot? It would have been the easy way out to forgive him and let him do what you craved, yearned for. But it was simply too much to do so. This man had been toying with your heart for a long time. Whether he had a crush on you for the lingering amount of time that you had, you deserved better than someone who played with you for their own amusement.

“What are you sorry for?”

Your tone was calm, yet still firmly questioning him. It was easier to just deny the night events than argue about it.

***

The music was loud, deafening as Minho, dragging you by the delicacy of your poor wrist, locked in a spot right next to the speaker right beside the DJ of the club, aka pole position. At first the dancing was innocent, a bright smile of pure joy (and intoxication) plastered across your face, holding each other’s hands as you pushed and pulled them back and forth. It wasn’t until the motions of arms were not moving in the opposite directions, somehow were both pulling in his direction, right up against his waist. The music was much too loud to allow your rational cognitions to process the sequence of events. Facing him, not facing him. Appropriate distance, very much appreciate distance. It was hard to explain how you ended up with your back pressed against Minho’s chest, somehow in the monstrosity of alcoholic beverages and shots actually moving your hips in a synchronized way with his. Maybe it was the firm grip, thumb digging into the soft flesh that was hardly hidden under that dress, making sure that this was the only place you needed to be, that he wanted you to be. 

Your hands easily followed too, palms on top of this tendon illuminating the side of his hands as his lips rested on the outside of the cartilage that made up your ear. The second time you could feel the magic that was his lips. The crowd that was Minho’s friends and the new, yet very much fun strangers that would end up making the later house party were long gone at this very moment. The only thing you could remember was coming with Minho, and the last thing you wanted to do was leave with him.

“Mmmm,” was all that could be heard, well no, felt from the man behind you. The vibrations of his lips were the only indicator that he was trying to say something. His teeth soon followed. Gentle, almost kitten-like nibbles nipped at the heated flesh of the neck and shoulder, head falling limp against his own shoulder as he continued to chuckle inbetween. There seemed to be an innocence to his antics, almost like he didn’t want to hurt you. Yet knowing the downright filthy desires, things he wanted to do, for a numerous amount of time was very much ironic.

Turning around, you pulled away, eyes boring into yours and his face came closer and closer. Eyes fluttering shut like a butterfly's wings for a brief moment, desire had never been stronger.

“There he is, Jisung!”

And just like that, it was over. Reality came back and your Minho clouded fog dissipated in a matter of moments, and it must have for him. You had never seen someone take their hands of someone with such speed. The timely reaction of Minho brought you back to a realistic part of your life. The one where this was nothing but a dream, and Minho was once again out of reach, and the many barriers that were his friends, your friend being in the way, made you nothing but a pawn in his chess game.

***

You stood there in silence, the only sound that could be heard was the ringing in your ears from the loud music prior. The want for him to explain himself was one of such desperation. A sign, anything at this point. Yes, you were very much exhausted from the games but if it was all worth it for him to finally do something about it in the end, the fatigue would be easily wiped away.

“I don’t mean to be this way. So, uhm, aggressive? Or the opposite, I don’t know I-”

“Minho in the nicest way possible, I’m tired and we’ve both had a big night. We can talk about it in the morning.”

Using the spare key that your friend had so graciously given you as a symbol of how much time you truly spent at her house, his house, over the years, the door was unlocked, you ripping your shoes off and letting them laz sprawl against the living room carpet as your body heavily dragged up the stairs. Your feet automatically knew the way to her room, 4 paces straight and two to the left. To get to his it was 7 paces straight 2 to the right. The 4th step on the second floor felt unnatural at this moment, body wanting nothing more than to be pressed up against him in a deep slumber, you craved it; but you knew better at the same time.

“Y/n.”

Silence. You could feel him coming closer, but it’s honestly just too painful at this point to even wait for anything more.

“Y/n.”

Silence, again. It wasn’t until you could feel the unintentionally harsh pull at your wrist, once again pulling back and up against him.

“Y/n wait.”

“For fucks sake Minho,” you huffed, yanking your arm away from his grip, “leave me alone.”

“No, I want to talk about it now.”

Nothing but an eye roll followed, ignoring him and storming into her room. He followed in pursuit, the first time any kind of behavior like this from Minho had happened before. Sitting on the edge of the side of her bed, you turned away as you took off your jewelry, precious earring and delicate chain necklace lying on this decorative plate placed on the bedside table.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Can we please stop pretending like there isn’t something going on between us?”

He was not serious. His bold statement made you stop, turn around and face him.

“You have to be joking right now.”

“Why would I be joking?”

“Minho” you yelled, standing back up and right in front of him, “this is nothing but a fucking game to you! We don't have a problem, YOU do.”

“I don’t play games with you,” Minho scoffed, eyes wide in his own disbelief, “you play games with me.” His voice was also beginning to rise in volume.

“That’s such a fucking lie! You’ve been playing games with me for years. Three quarters of my life! I know that you hated me or couldn’t stand me for most of that but then all of a sudden you come back from college and you want to be around me and all over me?”

“That’s not true-”

“Yes it is! You couldn’t stand me!! Then the kiss in the kitchen? Tonight, you were all over me and I could tell, drunk or sober, that you were enjoying yourself. Until your friends come along and I’m nothing but a secret little game-”

“No Y/n, shut up, that's not true!”

“Explain yourself then!” 

Both of your chests were heaving simultaneously, the heated exchange taking the breath out of the two of you. There was no part of you that was wrong, and you knew better than to lack confidence, especially to someone who has kicked you around for what felt like your whole life.

“I never hated you,” he whispered, once again shifting the tense atmosphere in the room. He took a step closer, that goddamn palm resting on your cheek, fingertips pushing the baby hairs sticking to your forehead as you took him in, listening deeply to his words, “I could never hate somebody like you, Y/n.”

His tonality had become the softest you had ever heard someone speak. It was empowering to keep him on his toes, gaze fixated on him, but lips refusing to move. You could see it. The dip in his own gaze below your eye line, past the tip of your nose, and right to where you wanted his lips to be: your lips. The right thing, like your previous thoughts, was to pull away, save yourself the heartbreak.

“Let me take the time to show you how false that statement really is.” 

But god, was it it easier to just give him. His approach was gentle, but the texture of his lips felt like the key to everything. The light weight of his lips were equivalent to a tuft of feathers falling from a clear sky. Your lips tussled in return, wanting to kiss the man you were in love with so much passion, yet so much reservation. His lips, unlike the first time, had so much admiration for you, somehow the feeling was communicated in the way his lips touched yours, the way his tongue slipped into your mouth, colliding with your own. The world stopped spinning, and the only thing that mattered was Minho’s lingering touch.

His hands scrambled to find an appropriate spot. His palms spread across your waist, the pressure of his weight pushing you to the edge of the bed, a small shriek escaping your lips as the sudden knock of balance leaves you lying against the material of the bed. His hands left your sides, one coming to your face as he broke away, taking a moment to admire you underneath him in all your beauty. He lifted his fingers to your forehead, brushing the baby hairs on your skin before smiling and leaning back in for another kiss. Hands around his neck, you brought him closer, gasping into his mouth when you felt the roughness of his knee conveniently sitting between your inner thigh, spreading to make room for his own. 

You decided to take the liberty of breaking the kiss back this time, Minho rising on his own as he pulled his shirt off in one swift motion. Even the way he moved his limbs was majestic. Eyes widening for a brief moment as the shock of Minho’s body that you had seen many times, especially post-college transformation, it still amazed you how attractive this man was. The proximity all these years amounting to this moment. All the teasing, ignoring, negative behavior came as the collateral of coming to this moment; and you would tolerate all of it again if this what it would lead to. Which is why you refused to rush things, savor the moment as much as you could.

“Minho, wait.”

“Yes?”

“Can we just,” you were hesitant to ask for what felt like a silly request, “I don’t want to rush anything. Can we just make out a little longer?”

His chuckle was one of the most adored. He nodded as he got up from the bed, sitting back down at the edge of the right side. As he turned to put his leg atop of the bed, he leant on his left elbow, patting the empty spot next to him, a very adorable invitation that you simply could not resist. You shooed over, facing Minho as he pinched your chin, bringing your lips to his again. The kisses, for the moment, stayed soft, sweet. He was allowing you to take your time because he was ready. Minho wanted you so bad, but he knew better than to rush. If anything, the anticipation made him fall for you more.

However, the heat was unconsciously beginning to turn up once bodies became involved. The subtle grind of his hips against yours was sending you into a frenzy, and the friction was something you needed to chase. At first you were holding back, only wanting the generosity of his tongue and lips, but now the selfish part of you was taking over, and there was nothing more that you wanted than to have sweet passionate sex with the man in front of you. Gently pushing his chest away, he looked up, confused as you turned away from him, standing up and undoing the zip on the back of your dress.

“Oh,” was all he could say, a smirk plastered on his face as he dragged your body back toward him, now covered in undergarments, back to the bed. His hands became a lot more adventurous, taking the signal of you undressing yourself as an acceleration of what you wanted. Still facing each other, Minho placed a gentle peck to your lips as his arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you much closer to him, and exactly where you wanted to be. 

Once the lack of space was established, Minho brought the tip of his digits just above your panty line. A small gasp elicited from your lips once his fingers dipped down to your clothing covering your core. Just above the center of the folds. Minho’s lips quiver at your body relaxing underneath his touch. The more vulnerable you became, the more in love he fell with you. Each second. Your eyes fluttering almost shut, hips gently bucking underneath the pressure of his fingers had his mind screaming with adoration. His gaze was making you shy, causing you to bury your head in his naked chest. You giggled with innocence at how good his fingers felt. The other times you reminisced, romanticized what this would be like was tenfold of what you actually expected. 

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered, a soft kiss to the tip of your forehead. Your head came out of his chest, a somewhat fucked out expression already coatign your face as his fingers traveled back to the top of your panties, fingers grasping the hem before asking, “Can I take this off?”

You nodded, this time without hesitance as you turned to your front, assisting Minho in letting the thin fabric subtracted from your body. Your bra soon followed, leaving you completely exposed. Minho still had his pants on which you felt to be a little unfair, but the tent that was beginning to form in his pants was a reason enough for him to keep them on longer. 

Turning back to your side, you reached him in another sensual kiss, bodies now as close as they had even been. Minho’s fingers had much more to travel, left palm already reaching for a gentle squeeze of your best breast. His touch was noticeable enough to break away, a small groan at the digits brushing your nipple. Another chuckle escaped his lips as he watched your nipples get harder under his touch.

“Wow,” Minho gasped, gently pinching the soft flesh his eyes couldn’t help but be glued to, “you look amazing.”

“Do I?”

“More than I could have ever  imagined.”

Your silence made him giggle, fingers snaking back down to where the two of you wanted them to be. It was almost embarrassing how easily his index and middle finger slipped between your folds, already coated in your arousal as his digits swirled around your pussy hole. It was evident that he wanted his fingers coated, so when he brought them up to his lips, tongue evidently out as he licked them clean, then slid them back down to your waist once more, spreading your folds apart and pushing on your clit like a button. Your hands grabbed onto his shoulders for support, the sudden amount of sensation in comparison to before sending you into a frenzy. Your jaw had already become slick, the gentle whines and moans spilling out sound after sound. 

“Fuck,” He cursed under his breath, lips right in front of your tits, teeth grazing over the geneoristy of the skin, “you have the features of an angel.”

His shower of compliments caused a louder moan to slip from your lips. It really wasn’t something that you expected. The fantasy you had of Minho being a rough, man handling lover contrasted to the man that presented in front of you right now. But it was much better than anything you ever thought he was to be.

His fingers moved in delicate circular motions, Minho himself groaning at how pretty you looked under his fingers. He kept his curiosity peaked, fingers traveling back down to your hole before plunging them inside, tips instantly curling to bring his lips right up against his own.

“Minho oh my god,” you gasped, short breaths hinting at a rapid pace from your throat as he started to move them back and forth, “your fingers are so good.”

“Your welcome,” he smiled, wrapping his free arm around your chest to adjust for the way your torso squirmed against him. Your own hands soothing his arm that did all the work as he picked up his pace, a slight bump forming into your pussy. Minho’s pace became quickly unforgiven, a spill of curse words that made you feel extremely dirty coming from your mouth. The irony of feeling dirty from cussing and not from the two fingers being shoved into your whole was comedic. 

“Lift it,” Minho grunted, attempting to fix his position so he could get a better angle to finger you from, “lift your leg and put it on my hip.”

You did as he said, a gut wrenching moan that was bubbling in your throat bursting at the seams as your maneuver allowed his finger to enter deeper, stronger, harder. The combination of skin slapping and wetness could be heard by anyone in the house if there was anyone in there, the noise echoing the room as you watch his eyebrows furrow, bitten bottom lip in concentration. All this time, Minho wanted nothing more than to see you be happy, make you feel good. It was in half disbelief that he was present in this moment that he had dreamed of several times. And his perception of you, with his fingers inside of you, moaning his name over and over exceeded expectations to say the least. The temperature that began to rise on your cheeks was spreading to your limbs, muscles slowly coiling as the pleasure continued to build at your core. Minho’s jaw clenched, increasing his effort and strength in, with much effort, fucking you with his fingers. His pace became even quicker, desperate and motivated to make you shake under his fingers.

“Minho please,” you cried, suffocating his lips with yours to muffle the continuous noise that baffled the room, “so good.”

Your sentences, if you could even call them that, were not coherent in the slightest. Yet it did not matter. All Minho could focus on was how beautiful you looked with your lips pouted, the gentle teeth marks under your bottom lip from biting down on your precious skin too hard. The condensation beginning to cover the skin of your forehead as your eyebrows scrunched together, your facial expression could have been interpreted as anger. However, Minho failed to see it that way. He saw you as nothing but an angelic woman that he had the gratitude of being allowed to share a moment of vulnerability with. There was no judgment in his eyes as he felt your tight pussy clench around his knuckles, knowing how close to what you were, and what he wanted to achieve for your sake.

“It’s okay baby,” he whispered, wiping the moisture glistening on the nose, half of your face shimmering in the moonlight as he withdrew his fingers, rubbing the sensual juices all over your swollen clit as your legs began to shake in response to the overwhelming stimulation you were experiencing.

“Can you feel it?”

“Mhhm,” you whined, suppressing your lips together as you focused on him, analyzing to him the intricate details of your body. His lips moved with vigor, leaving a string of semi wet kisses along your shoulder, kissing every little skin contusion, beauty mark, scab, wrinkle, dimple. You name it, Minho was eager to use his lips to analyze you, analyze the way your skin felt against him. The idea increased your arousal to a level you thought would not be possible.

“I’m gonna cum Minho I-”

“It’s okay baby,” Minho hushed you, wanting to relive any pressures or expectations you may think you need to fulfill “even the way you speak such vulgar things is angelic to me.”

“I’m cumming,” was all you could cry out. You know that once this was over, you would be appreciative of how gentle and warm his presence was to you during this unguarded moment, but right now all you could focus on was the tight coil in the pit of your stomach that would give out at any second. Like your foreshadowed, your body was coming undone under him, Minho unable to give up the succulent ability that was your pussy as he reinserted his two fingers back into your hole, thumb almost ghosting over your clit in an attempt to not overwhelm your body in sensation.

Minho thought you couldn’t get any more fascinating. Even the way you orgasmed was angelic. Legs spread wide open as you let him have his way. The trust you developed in him in this intricate moment was such an attraction but mainly an appreciation. He knew that he had not been the most trustworthy person to you. His mixed signals and just overall treatment of you was simply a mind of confusion.

On the contrary, every negative moment that you shared with him melted away. The part of him having his fingers inside of you, bringing you to climax was not what you were focused on. You were focused on the attention. Solely the attention, his words held so much more weight than his actions to you in this moment, and all he did was mumble sweet nothings, adoring every single part of you that you wanted Minho to love.

“Fuck baby,” Minho groaned, finally withdrawing his fingers entirely from your core as he palmed his own arousal. But he merely wasted any time on that as he stood up and discarded his pants in an instant. A half lidded gasp came from your throat as you watched his length spring free from the suffocation of his previous undergarments. Minho laid back on the bed, back against the bed as you extended a hand in which you willingly took, enjoying the sudden rapture that Minho had tangled the two of you in. His fingertips came to your face once more, brushing those delicate strands away as he took his precious time. Willingly ignoring the fact that your very slicked up pussy was creating friction against his tip, he was more focused on your face. The crinkles underneath your eyes that came up when you smiled. The way your lips turned upwards in the slightest. The longer he looked up at you, on his lips, body pressed up against his, the more he fell in love. Both of your hands now came to his face. It felt like hours upon hours that the two of you had been looking at each other. Calmness fell over the room as you leant down to kiss him again. The taste of him was simply nor enough. You needed him. On you, next to you; it did not matter. His presence was something that you truly craved. Sexually, platonically, romantically, it did not matter. Any closeness with Minho was more than adequate. Deciding to lift your hips slightly, your hands followed, gripping him as you slowly slid onto him, a deep groan leaving his lips, a soft moan leaving yours as he stretched you out. Before you could even initiate any moment, Minho grabbed your arm lifting your palm to his face as he sent kisses up your arm, almost as if he was in complete disbelief of what was happening in this moment.

“I just want to worship you my god,” he whispered, making you giggle in the slightest.

His lips traveled just under your shoulder, arms wrapping around his torso to bring you into another embrace. It was that his strength was brute enough to lift you up, and put your back down. Hisbody almost moved with vigor, wanting to make sure the experience was an equal one. A sharp whine came from you as he established a gentle pace, your whole body being used in an attempt to pleasure the both of you. Someone may have seen this as selfish, Minho controlling the pace, but really, he just couldn’t get enough of how much he wanted you. The amount of times he had thought about this moment over the years almost derailed him. But nothing could be more perfect than the moment right now. 

Your arms were wrapped around his neck, then on his chest, across his face, you were too stimulated to be organized with your hand placements. It’s just what he did to you. Minho could tell that you were unsure, so instead he just put his head in your chest, almost wanting you to wrap your fingers though the bse of his scalp, the gentle texture of your fingers against his scalp could have honestly made his toes curl. Just like you, Minho craved your touch in any way shape or form, so the combined combainton of your closeness, tussling digits, and tight pussy was sending him into a headspin.

“Minho,” you hesitated, unsure, if he could hear you in the muffle of your chest, “Minho.”

You were desperate for him to hear you, yanking on his locks to pull him away from the darkness and back into your gaze. His eyes were glazed over for a moment, an innocent peaking on them as he looked up at you with intent.

“Yes my princess, my Y/n?”

“Yours?”

The skin slapping, volume of each time your ass landed on his hips was increasing, but no matter the crescendo, it was never loud enough to get in the way of the intimate looks the two of you had a silent agreement to fixate on.

“Mine,” he moaned, hands snaking back down to your hips, breaking this distance and once again guiding the speed of how fast he filled you up, “all mine.”

“You’re so gorgeous,” you mumbled, barely able to talk at this point, “I want you so bad you have no idea.”

“You have me,” he almost chanted, “you have me. I have you. Always.”

Your head rolled back, the intimacy of his words, rather than his cock, bringing you closer to the brink of pleasure. The attractiveness of finally putting his walls down, striking his fear of vulnerability was unmatchable. Even if things didn’t work out with Minho in the future, you knew that deep down, no one else could ever make you feel this way. Minho was a witch, and the spell he was casting on you was something that would be everlasting.

“I love you,” you cried, throwing your head back in somewhat embarrassment, “I love you Minho.”

“I love you too baby fuck,” he grunted, increasing the strength in which he filled your pussy. He couldn’t handle this anymore. Flipping you over, his body hovered, cock pressing your back into the mattress. On his knees, Minho trusted deeper and deeper, your eyes almost cloudy from how good he truly felt inside of you. Another sensuous kiss ensured, the combination of his deep moans and your vibrating whines slipped into each other 's, easily one of the most intimate things that could ever be done. 

“Mhhm,: You whined, breaking away and placing a hand on his face, “I fucking love you.”

“I fucking love you, my Y/n.”

“Oh god,” you breathe heavily, free hand gripping on his shoulder, “I love when you call me that?”

“What? My Y/n?”

“Yes,” you hissed, piercing into his eyes, this time with vigor, “it makes me yearn for you.”

“You have me baby,” he smirked, eyebrows soon furrowing as he realized his hips were getting sloppy in motion, “I’m all yours.”

You could not stop kissing him. He was just too hard to resist. His words, actions, everything, you were so in love that your chest began to hurt. That pit was developing again, and all he had to do was say the words and you were there. Minho took your hand away from his face, pinning them on either side of you as he slid his fingers in between, allowing your hand to intertwine with yours. The affection was the icing on your cake, because as you felt the swirls of his finger prints trickle onto your palm, your hips were spasming.

“Minho I’m-”

“I know baby, it’s okay, he cooed, “I can feel your pussy clenching hard.”

A little giggle escaped your lips as your body raked itself of an orgasm. Back arching, the loudest noise you could have possibly made erupted from your mouth, the unintentionally new angle allowing Minho to plunge even deeper, keeping it slow as he allowed you to come down from the high. He pulled out right after, pumping himself a few times before finishing just above your core. He fell to your side, immediately lifting your body, wanting to feel that constant warmth as he placed your head against his chest, arms wrapped around your back as he kissed the mount of hair in front of his face. His heartbeat was warm, fast, but stil, a sense of comfort felt over your body as you listened to the organ pump in his chest. The moment was silent, yet comfortable, the both of you simultaneously soaking in that delicacy of affection that you both oh so craved, longed for.

Even after all of that, you still had the energy to do so. Minho read your mind, giving you a quick peck before quickly pacing out of the room. The ache in your heart had already reappeared at his absence. The craving would never stop. Luckily he was quick, grabbing a paper towel, cleaning you up, running back to the bin, the running back and jumping onto the bed, your body flying in the air as he caught you, snuggling up to your side with his head pressed into your chest. Your hand came to his hair, letting those fingertips frolic across his scalp. A silence fell over the room as the two of you simultaneously stared at the ceiling, the dim shine of the moonlight shining through the window, lingering across Minho’s side profile.

“I was being serious, you know.”

“About what?”

“Hating you.”

Minho turned onto his chest, wanting to make sure that you were staring at him when he said this.

“I could never hate you Y/N, my Y/N.”

He crawled up to your side, tall enough to press one more kiss, lips lingering across yours as your eyes fluttered shut from his touch. Lifting the cover, Minho invites you under after climbing in first, turning to the side to hover over your now very tired frame. Lips nudged behind your warm Minho kept mumbling, a combination of kissing you and whispering, the tiny vibrations from his voice tickling the bare skin.

“You’ll have to kill more before I ever let you go.”

[theragethatisdesire]

three's a... - jean kirschstein x afab!reader x eren jaeger - 18+!!!

i feel like i have mentioned the possibility of giving y'all an erejean threesome way too many times to keep holding out on you, so now that i've finally nitpicked this fic to death, here we are!! literally living my dreams vicariously through this fic. i'm still not 100% happy with it, but eren and jean are sexy here and are doing half of the work of making this worth the read for me lolol. it's also written mostly through jean's pov which was interesting to play with.

pairing: eren jaeger x reader x jean kirschstein

wc: 6.5k

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

CWs: smut, consensual hook-up, threesome, established relationship (eren's ur perfect bf and u guys can't stop having sex with jean lol), unprotected sex, oral sex (male receiving), face fucking, rough sex, vaginal fingering, degradation, biting, dirty talk, penetrative vaginal sex, anal (fingering and fucking), swearing, use of names (slut, brat, pretty girl, good girl, angel), mean dom eren vs soft dom jean, multiple orgasm, dacryphilia/crying, creampie, double penetration, bicurious jean and bicurious eren (tasty, they definitely don't keep their hands to themselves), polyamory implied

buckle up, this was a blast to write and i hope it's equally as fun to read. enjoy <33

-

Jean should definitely not be here.

He should absolutely not be on his living room couch with Eren Jaeger’s girlfriend’s head in his lap, playing idly with her hair. By all traditional conventions and rules of exclusive relationships, Jean’s fairly sure that letting your girlfriend rest her head on the crotch of your roommate while he strokes her hair is on the no-no list. Not for Eren, apparently, who has your feet in his lap on the other end of the couch, playing with your toes absentmindedly and making you giggle and kick him in protest. Jean should not be here, but you and Eren have made a habit of roping him into circumstances that he would never admit to, not even at gunpoint.

If Jean is brutally, painfully honest with himself, he knows he had gotten himself into this. You were just so cute, wisping around their apartment in a big tshirt and tiny shorts in the mornings, always making sure to save him a cup of coffee. Maybe he had let his lingering glances linger just a little too long, smirked over his coffee mug at you one too many times, come up behind you to help you reach something on the top shelf and leaned a little too close, Jean couldn’t pinpoint exactly what caused Eren to notice his clear attraction towards you, but he did. Instead of getting his ass kicked like he had expected when you and Eren sat down to confront him, Jean had learned something.

Eren Jaeger has a greedy, spoiled brat of a girlfriend.

That had been the first time Jean came in you, fucking into your throat while Eren watched from across the room, palming over the bulge in his jeans. The second time, the two of you had invited Jean out for a drink, which, in hindsight, he should have seen the ulterior motive from a mile away. He had ended up cumming in your pussy, bending you over in the bar bathroom with Eren’s cock in your mouth. The third time had been in Eren’s bedroom as you rode him, Eren sitting behind you and working your hips over Jean’s cock as you wailed.

Jean had stopped his ministrations in your hair as he was reflecting on how exactly he got into this situation, trying very hard not to think too far into the filthy details to prevent propping your head up with an erection. You make a little noise of discontent, grabbing at his hands and urging them back to your hair.

“Jean, don’t stop. Feels good.”

Jean’s mouth tightens into a thin line at your choice of words, words he’s heard from you before under very different circumstances, but he obliges. So much for self control. Eren raises a smug eyebrow at him from across the couch.

“You’re giving her what she wants, right, Kirschtein?”

Jesus, you two are insatiable, still managing to grate on Jean’s razor-thin willpower with all of your clothes on. Jean wonders briefly what the appeal is for Eren, if he gets off on watching you take another man’s cock, bring another man near to tears with your warm, silken cunt. Does Eren enjoy dangling you in front of Jean until he’s forced to give in? Eren’s gaze lingers on Jean’s hands, threading through your hair, awaiting an answer.

“Yeah,” Jean says, not trusting any more words to his loose lips. They’ve already betrayed him three times now, saying yes when they should have been saying no.

“Good,” Eren responds simply, offering a small smile that, to anyone else, looks innocent. Jean knows Eren better than that. He watches as Eren’s hand travels up your bare leg, coming to rest on your upper thigh. You’re affected by it, such a simple touch, such a sensitive little body; he can feel you tense over his thighs.

Jean steels his jaw and forces his eyes back over to the movie. He’s got to stop playing these fucked up games of yours, it’s bad for him and he knows it. He hasn’t dated in months, not since you’d first pulled him into your little world, can’t bring himself to look at anyone else, can’t stand the thought of feeling anyone else’s skin under his fingers. His little crush has bloomed into full-blown lovesickness, and it would be best for him if he just stopped.

All of that ironclad willpower melts away in an instant when you let out a little moan.

Eren’s hand has snuck its way up to your shorts, nudging at the apex of your thighs. His focus is still trained on whatever reality show you’ve put on, completely ignoring the way you sigh under his touch. Jean’s cock twitches in his pants; this is his opportunity to hesitate, to say no, but he stays silent, only watching as you squirm in his lap.

“Eren,” your chastisement comes out as a breath. One of your hands comes to meet Eren’s, trying to push him away, but he simply swats your hand, shooting you a stern look.

“Behave,” Eren warns, eyes dark and dangerous. Jean’s learned that Eren’s mean to you, snappy when you put on your little attitude and fight back, but Jean doesn’t have the willpower. He holds you gently while he fucks into you hard, gives you anything you ask for.

You bite your lip and turn your head back to the TV, one hand coming up to pull Jean’s away from your head, wrapping your fingers around his. Jean’s breath hitches in his throat when you squeeze tight, back arching like you’re holding back a moan; Eren’s worked his way into your panties now, rubbing little circles over your clit.

“Look, Jaeger,” Jean makes a half-hearted attempt to remove himself, pulling his hand from yours and making all the movements to suggest he’s going to stand up, “I should–”

“What?” Eren cocks his head, as casual as if they’re discussing the weather. “Look at her, you really gonna just leave her there like that while I’m teasing her?”

Against his better judgment, Jean flicks his eyes down towards you. It’s a pitiful sight, your eyes already glossed over and staring up at him, wide and pleading, your bottom lip tucked in tight between your teeth.

“Jean,” his name comes out of your mouth, broken and already heady with arousal. That’s what snaps his resolve clean in two. You need him.

“What is it?” Jean hates the fondness in his voice, so glaringly obvious in front of your fucking boyfriend. Eren doesn’t seem to mind, though; he picks up speed, making you wriggle impatiently.

“Wanna kiss,” you whimper, reaching up towards his face.

“Don’t,” Eren stops Jean from leaning down, “she’s been bad today.”

“Is that so?” Jean rubs a thumb over your lips, frowning down at you. He can see the guilt in the way your brows knit together; oh, you have been bad, and you know it.

“Wouldn’t stop begging me for you, wanted to snuggle with Jeanie,” Eren raises his voice to mock you, slapping a hand against your clit and making you jump.

Jean’s face burns; is this it? Is this finally Eren telling him that you’re off-limits, finally deciding that Jean’s had his fill? And he’s going to rub it in his face by torturing you on Jean’s lap?

“Tell him,” Eren demands, another sharp smack landing on your cunt.

“Didn’t want to wait t-til you got home,” your face is already blotchy, eyes clouded with shame, “wanted Eren to text you and make you leave work.”

“And what did I say?”

“Be patient,” your voice wavers, Jean’s heart pounds in his ears, “and Jean would come take care of me.”

“So needy,” Eren tuts down at you, cruelly shoving a finger into your wet heat and instantly removing it, drawing a breathy whine from you, “see?”

Eren’s offering his finger to Jean, shining with slick, eyebrows lifted insistently. Jean narrows his eyes, cocks his head. What game is he playing at?

“What, don’t want a taste?” Eren’s eyes glint in the low light, taunting him. Jean leans forward hesitantly, lets the other man slide a thick finger between his lips. You always taste so good, salty and tangy; Jean feels a groan rumble deep in his chest. The corner of Eren’s mouth curls ever so slightly. Whatever game he’s playing, Jean’s losing. “Touch her, but no kisses. She has to behave if she wants that.”

You pout, bottom lip still wobbling where you’ve pushed it out, but you arch your back a little, straining your tits against your tank top. Jean knows you well enough by now, knows you chose that thin little top and didn’t wear a bra just for him, just to tempt him. You have been bad, but Jean doesn’t care, could never care when you’re looking up at him all sweet and needy. But he knows better than to disobey Eren’s rules, for your sake. Eren will edge you for the rest of the night, make himself cum, and leave you out to dry.

“Jean, please–”

“Sh,” Jean shushes you, sits you up just a little so he can pull your tank top over your head, “I’ve gotcha. Just be good for us, alright?”

You nod and smile drunkenly as he cups your breasts, kneading your nipples between his fingers. They’re one of his favorite things about you; he can’t resist leaning down to place sloppy, open-mouthed kisses along your hot skin, lick around your nipples just light enough to tease. Maybe Jean can be a little mean too.

“More,” you gasp, fingers coming to clutch at his head, “more, I– oh!”

Jean’s eyes flit down your body to see Eren’s now got two long fingers shoved knuckle-deep in you, curling them fast enough to make you cry out, roll your hips up towards him. If he looks closely, he can see a wet patch forming on the crotch of your shorts; it makes his cock throb. He’s never met a woman that gets as wet as you, filthy at the slightest touch.

“You’re so messy,” Jean voices his mind without exactly meaning to, pulling himself from you so he can prop you up against his chest and let you look at the mess you’ve made. You give him a little whine of protest, tilting your chin up towards him, searching for his mouth.

“Please, I want–”

“I know what you want,” Jean thumbs at your lip, “he’s mean, isn’t he? Making you behave yourself when all you want is a little love, isn’t that right?”

“Mhm,” you manage to shoot a scathing glare at Eren that makes Jean chuckle, makes Eren smack your thigh hard enough to echo throughout the room.

“Stupid little slut,” Eren growls, moving his fingers faster, “you’re just all about Jean because he spoils you, aren't you? Someone has to make sure you behave yourself.”

Jean’s eyes widen; Eren’s clearly in a mood today, and Jean hopes it doesn’t have anything to do with his presence. Eren’s a mixed bag most times. Jean’s overheard him making soft, quiet love to you, little praises slipping out from the crack in his bedroom door, but Jean’s also watched Eren edge you to the point of tears, spit on your cunt, spank you until you bruise. Maybe Eren’s jealousy finally is getting the better of him, Jean thinks, maybe he just can’t say no to your insatiable appetite, and he is actually pissed that you had begged him for Jean.

“Jean,” you’re clutching at his shirt, moaning pathetically as Eren sucks harsh bites into your thighs.

“Did it to yourself,” Jean shakes his head at you sadly, “you know better than to make him mad.”

“Shut her up,” Eren nods his head at your mouth meaningfully, “I’ve heard enough out of her for today.”

It takes some awkward repositioning, but Jean’s able to pull his cock out, tap it against your tongue where you’ve already got your mouth hanging open, drool pooling on his lap under your cheek.You shove yourself up with some effort, and take Jean almost to the hilt on your first go, slurping lewdly around him. Jean nearly chokes.

“Oh, you are needy today,” he hisses, threading his fingers through your hair, making sure his view remains unobstructed. “That what you wanted? My cock in your throat?”

You manage a stiff nod around him in between the muffled moans you’re letting out around his cock; Eren’s added his thumb to the mix now, pulling your panties to the side so he can swipe at your clit.

“She was fuckin’ drooling for it earlier,” Eren says, meeting Jean’s eyes with a smirk, “should have seen her, all pouty and sad because her Jeanie wasn’t here. Pathetic.”

In the small part of Jean’s brain that’s still able to think rationally with his cock nudging at your gag reflex, he’s frowning in confusion. Eren is pissed at you because you were begging for Jean, and here he is spurring Jean on in fucking into your throat. It makes no fucking sense, really, but Jean’s getting his dick sucked, and not for the first time, by the woman he’s been pining after for months, so who is he to question it?

“Mmph!” You squeal, mouth too full to form a real sound, hips canting up violently towards Eren. Eren laughs, low and cruel.

“Aw, I think she’s gonna cum soon,” Eren pulls his fingers from you, a tear slips down your cheek. “Pity.”

Your cry of protest is whimpered by Jean standing up slightly, angling his hips to plunge as deep as he can. He’s only had his cock in your mouth a few times, but Jean’s intuitive. He knows how much you can take, knows exactly how far to push you before it’s too much.

“Don’t whine, baby,” Jean huffs, “just gonna make him more mad. He won’t let me help you if you don’t behave.”

“Look at you,” Eren runs his hands along your thighs, leans down to press a chaste kiss over where you’ve ruined your shorts, “being a good girl for us. S’that what it takes for you to behave? Need both of us?”

If Jean’s not mistaken, the garbled sound you make around him is one of agreement. The thought goes straight between his legs, brings him far closer to the edge than he’d like to be at this point. He pulls your mouth off of him, making you pout.

“But–”

“I know, I know, you want it,” Jean rubs an affectionate thumb over your cheek, “but you want me to fuck you, too, right?”

“Please,” you breathe, reaching down to wiggle your shorts off. Eren’s face lights up.

“Wanna show him your little surprise, baby?” Eren’s tugging at your shorts now, ripping them off and tossing them to the sides. He puts his hands under your arms, yanking you out of Jean’s lap and throwing your chest over his shoulders. When Eren’s hands come to your cheeks, spreading them so Jean can see, Jean’s heart nearly stops. There’s a little pink rhinestone glittering where your asshole should be– a plug, keeping you open and ready. Eren meets Jean’s eyes, daring. “She picked it out just for us. Want us both, don’t you? Nasty little thing.”

Eren punctuates his statement with a grin and a sharp slap to your ass that makes you jump, nod desperately from behind him. Jean reaches a cautious hand over, puts two fingers around the toy and pulls lightly, just enough to watch it move in you. You whine; he can see your empty cunt flutter.

“Can she take it? Both of us?”

“Oh yeah,” Eren brushes off Jean’s concern, “been using all her little toys for weeks, making me practice with her. She can take it.”

With that, Jean’s standing, padding into his room and knowing Eren’s following with you still tossed over his shoulder. His head spins; you, his precious little toy, have been stretching yourself out, getting yourself ready to have two cocks in you? The thought nearly makes Jean moan to himself, imagining how tight you’ll be all stuffed full.

Eren’s thrown you on the bed none too gently, stripping as you look up at him, hearts in your eyes. He stops midway through pulling his clothes off to grab your chin, offer your pleading gaze to Jean.

“Why don’t you ask him, hm?” Eren coos, looking between you and Jean with a filthy grin on his face. “Ask him again, see if you’ve been good.”

“Will you kiss me, Jean? Please?” Your voice has that thin, fucked out tone to it that drives Jean crazy, makes him want to make you cry.

“Yeah princess, I’ll kiss you.” He leans down, takes your soft mouth in his, Eren never releasing his hold on your chin. Jean can taste himself on your tongue, smiling appreciatively at the salty tang. Eren rips you away far too soon, pressing his mouth down on you far rougher than Jean had. They balance each other well, Jean thinks, the gentle caresses and the sharp slaps that make you come undone under them in a way neither of them can manage alone.

“On your knees, brat,” Eren sneers, the shred of tenderness that he’d grabbed your face with long-gone, “convince us to fuck you stupid.”

You nod obediently, sliding off the bed and onto your knees, reaching for Jean. He steps forward, letting you hold his cock in your little hand, rub up and down while you take Eren in your mouth. Even your hands are enough to drive him crazy, so soft and supple around him; Jean’s head falls back.

“Fuck,” Eren sucks a sharp breath in between his teeth, “that’s it, baby, take it.”

Something possesses Jean, what it is he can’t be sure, but he reaches a hand down to the back of your head, pushing you further down Eren’s length. He half-expects Eren to chastise him for it, but Eren groans, long and loud, a sound that simmers in Jean’s stomach.

Jean watches the contractions of Eren’s abs, trails his eyes up to where the other man’s strong chest is heaving, a strange, hot sensation trickling through his center. It’s too late to look away once he realizes he’s been caught, but instead of finding amusement when he meets Eren’s eyes, Jean finds something else entirely.

Eren’s looking at Jean the way he looks at you, all lusty and uninhibited. Jean nearly scowls at him, everything he’s internalized over the years rearing its head in his chest, but Eren stops him with a hand wrapped around the back of Jean’s neck. In the blink of an eye, there’s a set of lips on his, a sharp tongue licking into his mouth.

Jean lets out a wanton, strung out moan that Eren swallows, echoes with one of his own. Jean notices that your head has stilled under his hand, and he shoves you back onto Eren’s cock mindlessly, relishing in the way Eren’s mouth stutters against his own when you retch around him. He trails his hand, tentative and exploratory, up to Eren’s hair, grabs the bun at the back of his head and pulls. Jean’s surprised at the heat beneath his palm; he’s always known Eren runs hot, especially after the last few times he’s fucked you. It’s only natural to brush arms, brush legs during the act, but Eren’s skin is scalding, damp with sweat under his touch.

It’s not Jean’s first kiss with a man, not by any means, but he’d never guessed that Eren, headstrong, manly, unreadable Eren, had this in him. Had it been hiding there for all of these years? Was it a spur of the moment thing, that Eren would look back on and cringe at later?

Doubt getting the better of him, Jean breaks first, pulls away with a quiet smacking sound. Eren’s eyes are just as wide as his feel, searching Jean’s face for any sign of regret, of satisfaction, of something. A loud whine from below distracts them both, and whatever odd moment was forming is broken as they look down at you.

Your chin is covered in drool from where you’ve been choking on Eren, gagging around him, and your eyes are glossy and needy. Jean’s cock gets impossibly harder.

“What?” Eren taunts. “You jealous that I kissed your Jeanie?”

“Yeah,” you pout, brows knitting, but Jean can see the arousal written into your features. You liked it.

“Get up,” Jean says to you, voice hard and unforgiving.

You follow his instruction, standing on shaking legs. Jean can see the snark in your eyes before it comes out of your lips. “What, finally going to pay attention to me now?”

As soon as the words have left your mouth, Eren’s hand is around your jaw, wrenching it open for him to spit into your mouth. “Don’t fucking talk back, not if you want to cum.”

“You were doing so good,” Jean rubs a hand over your hip, guiding you to lay on top of him on the bed, “what, are you that desperate for us that you can’t mind your manners?”

“I just–”

“Want both of your slutty little holes filled?” Eren scoffs, kneeling on the bed behind where you’re straddling Jean’s hips. “Yeah, we know.”

You frown and lean down to Jean, searching for consolation, but he shoves you to sit back up, admiring the way your chest bounces with the movement.

“Can’t be nice to you all the time,” Jean’s voice is low, dangerous, “not when you act like a brat.”

He can see the heartbreak on your face, revels in it, but it’s short lived. Your eyes fly open as Eren works the plug out of you, tossing it to the side and wrapping an arm around you to take your neck in his hand. Eren looks down at Jean, exchanges a conspiratorial smirk with him.

“Why don’t you ask Jean if you can sit on it while I work you open, hm?”

Your eyes glisten pleadingly at Jean, but something’s come over him. He realizes he likes drawing those begging moans out of you, likes holding you over the edge between the tips of his fingers. Jean shrugs.

“Show me how bad you want it.”

While Eren reaches over to scrounge around for the lube in Jean’s bedside table, you start to work your hips over Jean’s cock, slicking it up with how wet you already are. Jean grabs you by the back of the neck, pulls you to him to drink down the little whimpers and moans that escape your lips.

“Jean, please,” you sigh into his mouth, “I need you.”

Jean’s resolve wavers, but he stands firm. “Beg.”

“I–” hot tears of shame are welling in your eyes now, Jean wants to lick them from your cheeks– “please, I need it, need your cock in me, please, Jean.”

“What do you think, Eren?” As Jean asks the question, it strikes him just how often he refers to the other man simply as “Jaeger”, not by his first name. In his mind, ‘Jaeger’ is his friend of many years, and ‘Eren’ is the man that he had just inexplicably, passionately kissed. “Think she’s earned it?”

“Let’s see how she takes my fingers,” Eren replies, slicking his fingers up with lube and forcing two into your already-stretched hole with ease, making you squeak in surprise, “oh fuck, she’s already so stretched out for us. Yeah, give her what she wants, let her warm up to it.”

“Thank you, t-thank you,” you stammer, out of your mind with want as Jean slides the head of his cock into you with a long groan.

“Shit,” Jean growls, holding onto you tight to prevent your hips from pushing down on him too fast, filling you up too quickly with Eren’s fingers hard at work in your other hole. Maybe he is the nice one, after all. “So fucking tight for me, aren’t you?”

“Mhm, for you,” you hum, lip tucked in your teeth.

“Think she likes you more than me,” Eren smirks from over your shoulder, working a third finger into you and making your jaw drop. For his part, Jean bottoms out, hissing as you pulse around him. He can feel Eren’s fingers scissoring through your walls, eyes rolling back into his head at the sensation.

“You okay? Is it too much?” Jean notices one of those tears that had sparkled in your eyes earlier threatening to fall, grabbing your face and forcing you to look at him. You look beautiful, all stretched around him and fucked out, mind blank.

“It’s a lot,” you nod, sniffle, “but I’m okay, I can take him. Want to, want– need you both.”

Eren’s eyes darken, and Jean can feel him remove his fingers, feel the accommodating stretch of your walls able to breathe again. Jean takes your hips in his hands, rolling you along his cock to grant both of you some of the friction you desperately need. You mewl, leaning over to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Eren’s lining up behind you, running a soothing hand over your back.

“Deep breaths, baby,” Jean instructs you, holding you to his chest. You sniffle and nod into his shoulder, muscles tense and twitching.

“Tell me if it’s too much, alright angel?” Eren leans over to press a surprisingly tender kiss between your shoulder blades and gives Jean a signaling nod, which Jean returns.

Jean can feel it the moment Eren pushes in, feel your body stretching itself to accommodate both of them. You squeal into the skin of Jean’s shoulder that you’ve taken between your teeth, and it hurts, but he lets you, rubbing circles on your lower back.

“Doing so good for us, baby,” Jean hums, pressing his lips to your ear, “too much?”

You shake your head, whimpering as Eren pushes in further.

“God, she’s– shit, it’s so fucking tight,” Eren growls, jaw clenched and a little vein protruding in his neck from the effort of holding himself back, reining in the part of himself that just wants to snap his hips forwards into you.

“Yeah, she is,” Jean chokes out, feeling suffocated by the way you’re pulsing around him, by the pressure of Eren’s cock shoving at him. He’s not sure where he ends and where the both of you begin, if there’s even any separation between his skin and Eren’s and yours anymore.

“Feel so– full,” you hiccup, nails digging into Jean’s shoulders. Your watery voice makes Eren pause, rub a hand over your back.

“You doing okay, baby? How you feeling?”

“Feels….” you take in a deep, heaving breath, “good. Feels so good.”

Eren grins, something feral. “That’s our girl. So good for us, yeah?”

“You like being full, hm?” Jean can feel a smile mirroring Eren’s on his face.

He doesn’t miss Eren’s choice of words. Our girl. And you are their girl, you love being full of them. Of course you do. You’re their insatiable little plaything, so good at taking them in each of your holes. You love it, you love them.

“It’s– fuck, I’m in,” Eren’s staring at where you’re all connected. Jean wishes he could see, but the tightness of you around him is enough, the way he can feel Eren through your thin walls, pressing against his cock. Eren pumps his hips experimentally, and all three of you moan in sync.

“Pl-please move, Jean, fuck- no, Eren, just–” you’re babbling nonsensically, music to their ears.

“We’ve got you,” Jean hushes you, fucking his hips up into you and cutting you off, “just sit tight and be our good little girl, alright?”

“Oh g-god.” Your words wrench from you in a sob, jolting with the thrust of Jean’s hips up into yours. It takes some work, but soon enough, they’re pumping in and out of you at the perfect pace, synced up so you’re never empty, not for long. You’re wailing, voice scratchy from all the crying you’ve already done that night, clutching onto Jean like he’s your last lifeline.

“Feels so fucking good,” Eren grits out, digging his fingers into the flesh of your hips, “so good for us.”

“Not gonna last long, not like this,” Jean agrees, sitting you up so he can see you, see your wet cheeks and your open mouth, “so pretty like this, aren’t you? All stuffed full?”

“She loves it,” Eren growls over your pathetic, shaky moan of agreement, landing a smack on your ass, “fucking loves us, don’t you baby? Tell us, tell us how much you love it.”

“I-I love it,” you manage, voice wrecked, “love you— fuck- love you both so much.”

Jean’s eyes widen, roll back in his head a little. You’re so perfect, obedient and willing to take both of them, let them abuse your holes. The thought makes him bite down on the inside of his cheek, not willing to be the first to break and ruin this perfect moment.

“Jean, I– shit, I’m gonna cum soon,” Eren pants, pupils blown wide and mouth hanging open when he meets Jean’s eyes. “Make her cum.”

Jean nods determinedly, somehow finds the presence of mind to slide a hand in between your slick bodies, swiping at your clit insistently. Your body blooms for him, back arching as you throw your head back against Eren’s shoulder. He feels you clench violently around him, knows you’ve already been on the edge since they started with you, knows you won’t take much goading to break for them.

“That good?” Jean forced out through his clenched jaw, trying to keep pace with Eren amidst your vice-like grip on him.

“Yes, so fucking– oh my god, J-Jean, I’m– Eren,” you’re babbling, close to the point of hysteria, eyes blank and teary. Jean’s free hand wraps around your hip, grabbing hard at the flesh there. He’s so gone he barely catches it, just barely, but he notices Eren’s hand. Eren lays his palm over Jean’s, deliberate and steady, grabbing onto the other man’s hand and squeezing down. Jean meets Eren’s eyes, fucked out and hooded.

“Come on,” Jean rubs faster, harder, his eyes flitting back and forth between yours and Eren’s, “show us what a good fucking girl you are for us.”

Whatever was tethering you to your sanity falls away, and you cum harder than Jean’s ever seen, mouth hanging open in a silent scream as your muscles lock up, legs trembling on either side of Jean’s hips. He grips your hip harder, trying to maintain a pace so you can ride your orgasm out on top of them. Eren follows quickly behind you, biting into your shoulder with a loud, long groan. When Jean feels Eren’s cum leaking out of you, feels the mess they’ve made between your legs, he falls over the edge too, slamming your hips down into his and grinding up into you with a moan.

The three of you collapse into a heap of limbs and sweat and stickiness, chests heaving and muscles twitching. Jean can feel the burn of Eren’s skin and the slick, plush give of yours, enveloping him from every angle, and for the first time in months, he lets his eyes flutter shut, letting himself enjoy the simple pleasure of touch.

But nothing is forever, and after a few minutes, he feels you begin to stir between them, mumbling about needing to go to the bathroom. Eren reluctantly rolls off the bed to help you to the bathroom to clean up, leading you out on shaking legs. Alone again, Jean throws his hands over his face and sighs, deep and hefty.

He shouldn’t be here, he should have never let you both goad him into this.

It occurs to Jean that he needs some air; the apartment feels suffocatingly small knowing that both of you are only a few layers of plaster and a door away. He pushes through regret and self-doubt, pulling his sweatpants back on and scrounging around in his laundry basket of unfolded, clean clothes to find a shirt.

“What are you doing?” Eren’s suddenly in the doorway, scowling at him.

“Going out.”

“You worked this morning. What, do you have plans or something?” There’s a clear note of annoyance in Eren’s voice, but Jean’s too exhausted and shaky to look into it.

“Jean?” You, Eren’s shadow as always, peer around his shoulders, a cute little furrow of confusion between your brows. “Where are you going?”

Jean nearly growls in frustration, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Out. I’m going out.”

He hates the way you flinch, grab onto Eren’s hand for stability in the wake of his snapping at you. Eren speaks next, but Jean doesn’t recognize his tone; it’s firm, but somehow, it’s lacking Eren’s perpetually angry intonation.

“Sit.” Eren’s got one finger pointed to the bed, ordering him as if this isn’t Jean’s own room. He drags you over behind him, plopping on the bed as if you all do this every day. Jean glares at Eren, softens his eyes at the way you’re looking up at him invitingly.

“We just want to talk a little,” you pat the comforter, smiling softly. That breaks him, and against Jean’s better judgment, he’s sitting where you’ve indicated, t-shirt still fisted in his hands.

“About?”

“We don’t want you to think– well, this…” Eren gestures his hands between the three of you, frowning deeper, and eventually sighing, “I don’t know how to say it.”

You pick up for Eren, smiling at him. “We don’t want you to feel like you’re out of place here, that’s all.”

Jean cocks an eyebrow. “In my own bedroom?”

“No, asshole,” Eren rolls his eyes, “with…with us.”

“What does that mean?” Jean’s heart nearly stops. A small, soft hand over his makes his breath catch in his throat.

“We’re not, like, experienced with this, so maybe we’re doing this whole thing wrong,” you look to Eren anxiously, who nods at you reassuringly, “but…we have room for you. If you’re open.”

“Like…” Jean barely trusts his voice to carry above a breath, “in what sense?”

“It’s not just sex,” Eren mumbles, flushing pink, “to us, at least.”

“We like you,” you clarify, smiling again, “and however you want us, if you want us, at least, you can have us.”

Jean blinks stupidly, looks to Eren to see if his face betrays anything, anything that could explain the conversation taking place, if it’s a joke, if he’s unsure. To his surprise, Eren looks up at him, green eyes earnest and burning into his, and takes the t-shirt out of Jean’s hands, giving one of Jean’s hands to you and taking the other for himself.

“It works,” Eren says, finding some conviction, “whatever you want to call it, this works.”

“For both of you?” Jean can hardly believe his ears, can hardly fathom the feeling of your soft, delicate little fingers and Eren’s calloused palms wrapped around his hands.

“For both of us. But…does it? For you?” Your voice wavers, your nerves betraying you.

“I mean, I don’t know what it is. I don’t understand it,” Jean admits, positive that his eyes are comically wide in the face of this new information.

“Me neither,” Eren shrugs, “but we don’t have to be so serious about it–”

“Not for now at least,” you smile at Eren encouragingly, nodding and urging him to press on.

“Not for now,” Eren agrees, squeezing Jean’s fingers ever so slightly, the smallest, most tentative reassurance, “we can figure it out later.”

“If you want it,” you bite your lip, looking up at Jean through thick lashes, “want us. We won’t be upset if you say no. No pressure.”

Jean thinks for a moment, thinks about everything you’re offering him. You, who he’s pined after for months, so beautiful and sweet to him. He thinks about sharing coffee with you in the mornings, holding you tight to his body and drifting off to sleep, letting you play with his hair. He doesn’t know if he loves you, but whatever he feels is pretty damn close to it, close enough to drive him crazy and keep him up at night.

And Eren. He’s been friends with Eren for near a decade now, known him for as long as he can remember. What this agreement means in terms of his relationship with Eren, Jean hardly dares to press, knowing how Eren is: flighty, argumentative, brash. None of that is written into Eren’s features now, though; Eren’s watching him intently, earnestly, chest stilled as if he’s holding his breath, waiting for Jean’s answer.

Something old and something new mixed together into something entirely unfamiliar.

“We don’t have to put a label on it now, or even go through the semantics,” Eren’s voice is spent, nearly breathless.

“We’ll give you some space if you need–”

“No,” Jean cuts you off, looking between you both, “no, it’s– it’s just a surprise, that’s all.”

Eren snorts. “How many times do we need to fuck you before you get the hint?”

“Eren!” You slap his arm, looking between him and Jean meaningfully. “Not really the time for jokes, is it?”

“I mean, fucking in the bathroom of Scout’s isn’t exactly wining and dining me,” Jean rolls his eyes. Eren laughs at that, unintentionally tightening his grip around Jean’s fingers and making Jean’s heart thud a little in his chest.

“You two are beyond annoying,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest. Eren and Jean exchange a wicked smirk.

“Regretting this already?” Eren teases you, digging his fingers into your side and making you giggle.

“Get over here,” Jean pulls you onto his lap, feeling emboldened to press a quick succession of kisses to your jawline, to your cheek. God, maybe he does love you, the weight of you in his arms feeling almost perfect. Eren leans over and tackles you both, tickling you wherever he can reach, Jean pinning you to his chest despite your protests and thrashing.

That’s what’s missing, Jean realizes. It’s not about you and Jean, or you and Eren, or he and Eren. He understands Eren’s bluntness earlier: the three of you just work, regardless of the weirdness of it all or the awkward conversations that lay ahead. It works, and for now, that’s enough.

Eren relents in his torture, scooting up the bed and dragging you with him, pulling Jean’s covers over you both like he’d done it a hundred times. Jean’s last little inkling of self-doubt perseveres, and he hesitates, until Eren tosses the covers on your other side back, patting the sheets meaningfully. Jean swallows his pride, swallows his insecurity, and pulls you into his side, very mindful of Eren’s arm tossed over both of your shoulders, of Eren’s fingers weaving absentmindedly through the hair at the nape of his neck.

And in the morning, when Eren mimics Jean’s loud snoring and you’re playfully throwing little crumbs of toast at them over the counter, the little voice in Jean’s head that had warned him to keep his distance will be completely silenced for the first time in months.

[sansaorgana]

Hello! Can you write one where there's a new pilot on the base who has a crush on the reader, not realising that she's dating Buck and Buck catches him flirting with her (maybe while he's dancing with Meatball) and he goes over to make sure that the new guy knows she's with him?

hello babes, I decided to combine these two requests 😌 proceed with caution because it contains a forced kiss upon the reader so the subject might be triggering for some 🌹

I currently have quite a few requests in my inbox and I hope to work on most of them over the weekend 👌🏻

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

The new pilots were so cocky and sure of themselves, not yet experienced in the battle. Some of them haven't been up there at all. For them, the war was stil an exciting adventure. You were an archivist – to you, war had never been exciting. It was all about files, reports and copies of documents that had to be precisely organised.

But war – as terrible as it sounds – had brought something good into your life, too. Something so wonderful that sometimes you had caught yourself thinking that it just had to break out. You couldn't imagine the world without this war because it would be a world in which you would never meet the love of your life – Major Buck Cleven, one of the best pilots who was close to his 25th mission and your future life together without worrying about death every given second. That was the exciting part about your life.

Celebrating another pilot's successful 25th mission made you daydream of how it would look like when Buck accomplishes the same thing. You didn't even notice when you got exhausted from all the dancing but the music had stopped and so did your Buck, with his arms around you as his worried eyes searched for yours.

"Hey," he waved in front of your face and you smiled, "come back to me. Where were you?"

"Sorry, I've been daydreaming a little," you admitted with a giggle and he sighed. "I've been thinking of how the party for your 25th is gonna look like. About the decorations I'm gonna prepare and everything…" you stopped seeing how sad his smile became. He didn't like planning ahead so much. He wanted you to assume he would die any misison so you wouldn't have your heart as shattered. But it would happen anyway. Your whole soul would shatter if he died. "I'm sorry," you whispered and pursed your lips. "I'm exhausted," you added.

"No, don't be," Buck caressed your cheek and walked you back to one of the tables. "Get some rest, we've been dancing for two hours now."

"Really?" you glanced at your watch. "Woah, that sure counts as a training."

"Sure it does," Buck booped on your nose and you giggled. "May I have your permission to dance with someone else, very important to me?"

"Um…" you raised an eyebrow, "do you mean Bucky…? I'm not sure… As long as it's not a lady," you teased.

"It's not a lady," he assured you.

"Well, then, whatever," you shrugged your arms and watched him approach Bucky indded. But instead of asking his friend jokingly to dance, he crouched down and kissed Meatball's head before carrying him up and going back on the dancefloor. You laughed at the sight as Buck winked at you.

You leaned back on the chair and watched the dancing couples sleepily as your eyes seem to close themselves. Your legs were numb from all the dancing and your head was starting to ache as well.

"Hello," someone's voice made you turn around. It was one of the new pilots and he looked pretty awkward. His cheeks were flushed and you could smell some alcohol on him. However, his eyes were very soft as he kept staring at you.

"Hi…?" you greeted him and noticed a group of other pilots laughing in the distance. They were clearly watching your interaction. "Have you lost some bet, poor man?" you asked to make sure.

"No, not really," he swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry but… I know I'm not here for long, barely a few days but… Well, I had to drink a bit to gain the courage," he laughed nervously and sat down next to you. You moved uncomfortable in your seat. "I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he confessed.

You widened your eyes at him. He clearly hadn't been told you were Buck Cleven's girl although it was no secret. You had to admit, though, that it felt nice to be told such a thing from a man you had barely known. Buck was way more subtle at flirting. This man was taking no prisoners, clearly.

"Have you not seen many women before perhaps?" you teased him.

"Seen and kissed," he smirked at you and you were taken aback by his words. Annoyingly, he was quite handsome. You wanted to tease him for a while longer.

"So you kiss and tell?" you crossed your arms with an amusing smile.

"Oh, if I kissed you, I'd tell everyone, surely," he moved a bit closer and you didn't even flinch. "What about… I kiss you and you decide if you want to continue this conversation or not?" he proposed.

"Well, sounds like you're very confident about your skills."

"I am," he suddenly was so close that you felt his breath on your skin. For a moment you didn't know what to say because you got lost in his extraordinary green eyes.

You were about to move away from him but he misunderstood your staring and joined his lips with yours. You squirmed and squealed, trying to push him away but he wouldn't stop, almost aggressively trying to make you kiss him back. He was a passionate kisser, sure he was, but he didn't want to stop.

Your squealing made a few men turn around. They laughed and whispered between each other. Buck turned around as well and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of his girl being kissed by another man. It didn't look like you enjoyed it but it also wasn't like you were pushing the man away as strongly as you could have. At least according to Buck.

He put down Meatball gently and scratched him behind his ear before fixing his uniform and approaching your table angrily. His jaw was clenched and his thoughts were filled with rage. He felt… betrayed. And humiliated since it was happening for everyone to see.

"Excuse me," he cleared his throat but the man kissing you didn't care. After all, he seemed to have no idea that you were Buck's girl.

Buck took a deep breath in and physically separated you from the young and overexcited pilot. You had never felt his hands being so rough with you like in that moment. You looked up at him, scared, with your lipstick smudged and eyes widened.

"I…" you started nervously, "I didn't want that…" you started.

"I'll speak with you later," Buck drawled out and you froze for a second. You definitely had never experienced him being so angry… Let alone angry at you.

"Major Cleven, is something wrong?" the young pilot stood up quickly. You heard his friends laughing in the background. They totally had known about you dating Buck and set the poor guy up. You wanted to punch them yourself.

Buck grabbed the young pilot's shirt and pulled him closer over the table.

"Stay away from my girl," Buck's eyes were fixed on his rival's with the most serious expression. Meatball could sense his anger and approached him while barking. Now everyone's eyes were on you and you felt like you would die of embarrassment any moment.

"Can we please… stop…" you tried but Buck laid his angry eyes on you for a second before staring back the young pilot. You knew he wanted you to stay silent.

"Shit, I had no idea it was your girl, Major Cleven…" the young pilot began to stutter and Buck's hand twisted his shirt to bring him even closer to his face. "You're my hero, I swear, I would never disrespect you like that… No one has told me…"

"Really? No one? Even her?"

You took a deep breath in because you didn't like the way they were discussing you, like you were an object. And you were sitting right there. However, you decided not to start a fight now and make it even worse. Instead, you stood up and approached Meatball to calm him down and hug him because you needed that to calm down as well.

"No, she did not, I swear. I didn't want to… I didn't want to do anything against your girl's will, Major," the young pilot shook his head and you chewed on the insides of your cheeks, trying not to say anything.

You had been basically pushing him away all the time but apparently for men it meant that you wanted them to continue.

"Get out of my sight," Buck gritted his teeth and let go of the slightly drunk pilot. He landed on the table face down but quickly got up and walked away as fast as possible.

You focused on kissing Meatball's head, trying to avoid confrontation with Buck. He was looking down at you in a manner you did not approve.

"I'm going to bed," you finally sighed and stood up, pretending that nothing had just happened. You grabbed your jacket from one of the chairs and left the room. You could see people staring at you and whispering between each other.

When the doors closed behind you, you heard someone's fast and loud footsteps following you. It was Buck. You started to walk faster but he grabbed your shoulder and turned you around angrily.

"Ouch, you're hurting me!" you squealed although it wasn't true. He was angry but he made sure not to actually hurt you. "Brute!" you gasped when you found yourself facing him.

"What the hell was that?" he asked and you shrugged your arms.

"Do you even care to hear my version of the story? Because you silenced me back there and seemed to believe what that guy had to say. I have nothing else to add," you told him and walked away again.

"For God's sake, you were kissing another man!" Buck wasn't convinced. This time he was a bit rougher with you as he turned you around and pushed you against the wall of an empty corridor.

You hated yourself for that, but you found it pretty hot. He had never been so possessive about you. And he had never roughly pushed you against the wall.

"He was kissing me and I was trying to push him away," you drawled out through gritted teeth with his face inches away from yours. "I admit, I was teasing him a little but I had no idea he would actually kiss me. I didn't want to tell him I'm taken the moment he showed up because I am not your property and you don't own me, understand me, Cleven? I won't tell every man approaching me that I can't talk because I belong to another."

"I don't expect that from you," Buck rolled his eyes. "But he was…"

"And you," you interrupted him, pointing your finger at him, "the way you spoke of me. Like I was an object. I didn't like that either."

"What do you mean?" Buck seemed to be genuinely surprised.

"When you were addressing me as her when I was right there as if I were too dumb to realize you were talking about me," you explained. "And when you called me your girl. It was nice but… You wanted him to leave me alone because I am your girl. Would you save me from him if I was a random girl and not your girl? Were you saving me from him or were you saving your property?"

"What are you on about, doll?" Buck seemed to be a little confused.

"Well, I've read some feminist pamphlets lately…" you confessed, "…and they suddenly made sense to me."

Buck blinked a few times, very slowly, like he was processing this information.

"Baby, I didn't mean to make you feel like an object. Or make it look like I believe him more than you… I was angry. I'm sorry," he shook his head.

You were surprised he didn't laugh at your feminist pamphlets, though. He didn't even comment on that.

"To be honest, even if you kissed him willingly, I'd probably forgive you anyway," he confessed as his eyes became a bit sadder. "I'm crazy about you."

"What…? No, no, no!" You gasped. "Oh, baby, I would… I would never…!" You cupped his face to bring him closer and joined your lips together.

Kissing him felt different than kissing that young pilot. It felt like going back home. His lips were warm and sweet, made you feel safe and dizzy from how much you wanted him. He was your Buck.

"Better," you whispered after breaking the kiss and he smiled at you lovingly, "so much better than that awful guy."

"At your service, little one," he winked at you.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[secretmelanie]

Desire For The Forbidden - Negan Smith

dbsf!negan x reader

word count: 3,3k

A/N: First of all, I have to apologize for accidentally posting this before, because I'm fucking stupid and I don't know how to use tumblr properly (yeah, I didn't go through that phase when I was a teen...)

But well... Shit happens to everyone 🤷🏻

This is the first time I've written a TWD fic and the first time I've published a fanfic... I have no idea how this is going to turn out. This story is just something that was in my crazy little head.

Warnings: Teasing, age gap (reader is 23, negan is mid 40s), fingering, face fucking, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, cum play, p in v, dirty talk, praise, rough negan

━━⊱✿⊰━━

Your father and Negan have been friends for as long as they can remember, Negan held you when you were a baby, took care of you when your parents were busy and he was your gym teacher throughout high school.

When the outbreak began and you lost your mother to the rotters, or "walkers" as you call them nowadays, You and your father fled their city, ending up moving away Negan, not hearing from him for a long time, thinking he had died.

Almost a year after it all started, you came across a group called The Saviors, and your reunion with Negan came to light. You and your father didn't expect to see Negan in this situation, a powerful and dangerous leader, who had communities in his hands.

Now, you guys live in the Sanctuary, your dad is one of Negan's "henchmen," and you're, well, you. Negan hasn't given you any trouble since you arrived, you basically help the weakest people in the Sanctuary to protect themselves and slash walkers when the Saviors let you out. It's quite boring to be honest.

Well, it WAS quite boring.

Your room and your father's room were on the same block as Negan's, since you are very close. This can be counted as both an advantage and a disadvantage. An advantage because it is an extremely protected and safe place, and a disadvantage because you had to deal with the noise that came from his room when he was with his wives.

One day, it was pretty late and the top of the Sanctuary was practically empty, your father and Negan were celebrating with a bottle of whiskey the acquisition of another community. You were with them, just watching them and listening to their conversations, with a glass of wine in your hand, practically the only thing you drink, as it was the only thing your mother drank. You can't help but notice the way Negan's throat moves as he swallows the drink, how the liquid sometimes runs down the corner of his lips and onto his neck and how he licked his lips after. "He had no right to be so hot." you thought, as you took a sip of your wine.

A few hours passed and your father crawled into bed, and Negan went to a small room that contained a TV and a couch, a room that only the three of you had access to.

You saw him heading there, and decided it would be a good idea to go with him, but first, you needed to get comfortable.

You put on your pajamas, a tight white shorts and a tight white tank top, the print on them is some black kittens. These pajamas highlight your curves and breasts, and it's pretty clear that you're not wearing panties or bra. You know damn well how wrong what you're going to do is, but hey, is it your fault that Negan is so fucking hot? No, it isn't.

After changing, you go to the small room where Negan is, he's sprawled out on the couch, legs spread, and a glass of whiskey in his hand. You look at the TV, but completely ignore the movie that was playing. Some VHS tapes are scattered near the TV.

Negan looks at you, you notice his eyes roam your body and he takes a sip of the drink in his hand.

"Hey, kiddo... It's pretty late, I thought you were already asleep." he says, his voice a little hoarse from drinking. Unlike what he does with his wives, blatantly looking at their bodies, he avoids checking out your body, focusing on your face.

You shrug, sitting next to him, and he closes his legs, looking at you. "I'm not sleepy." You respond, resting your head on his shoulder.

"What film is that?" you almost whisper, looking up at him and meeting his eyes, You notice that he is avoiding touching you as much as possible, something that is definitely not normal for Negan when it comes to a woman desiring him, but you completely understand him, after all, you are his best friend's daughter.

"Just a stupid western movie, we don't have much choice here." you nod to his anwser, your eyes focusing on the TV.

You notice that his eyes are now focused on your body, roaming over your curves and your breasts, focusing on your cleavage, but you ignore it completely, pretending to be focused on the movie. He keeps checking you out, and you smile inside, everything is going according to how you planned.

After a few minutes, you stretch and spread your legs a little, getting more comfortable next to him. Negan obviously notices this, and he holds his breath, biting his lip. He takes his free hand to your thigh, as if he didn't want anything, and you ignore it too, as if just one touch from him wouldn't make you melt inside and your intimacy get soaked. You hug his chest, your hand passing teasingly across his stomach until it reaches the other side of his body, moving closer to him.

"Why don't we find something else to do, sweetie?" he clears his throat before saying it with a little mischief in his voice. "Oh, sure..." you get up from the couch, crossing your arms, highlighting your breasts even more. "I'm going to sleep." a smile spreads in your face as you say this and he frowns.

Your body moves closer to his again, and you lean down, kissing his forehead, your cleavage right in front of his face.

He looks a little shocked when you pull away, and you smile at him, saying goodnight and leaving the room, closing the door. Negan couldn't help but look at your ass when you left, your shorts barely covering that area of ​​your body.

When you closed the door, you stood there, and you could hear Negan saying "Damn, she's going to drive me crazy someday." and the sound of his pants zipper opening, followed by the noise of his pants being removed, and a sigh of relief, which you deduced was when he touched himself. You stayed there for a while, listening to Negan's low moans, and smiled when you heard your name escape those lips.

You walked to your room smiling, your intimacy wet from hearing him moan your name, which made you satisfy yourself before going to sleep. Your plan is working.

You woke up the next morning, and headed to the meeting room, which was where you, your father, and Negan usually had breakfast together. You were no longer wearing your pajamas from the night before, but a pair of sweatpants and a loose blouse, which you stole from your father when the outbreak began and you barely had any clothes to change.

Negan and your father were talking about the group's achievements, and you sat next to Negan, greeting them.

They both said good morning to you, and continued talking. You pick up an apple and bite into it, the fruit probably came from some group, you feel a little bad about consuming products taken from other communities, but you couldn't do anything about it.

You listened to their conversation for a long time, until you felt Negan's hand on your thigh, smoothing it and squeezing it lightly. You ignored it, once again pretending that it didn't make your whole body shiver. Everything was going well, until Negan looked at you for half a second, and his hand touched your intimate area, still covered by your pants, caressing it gently, you didn't know how to react, you thought it would take him a while to create the courage to do that out of respect for your father, especially since you two were in front of him, you just opened your legs a bit, giving him permission to continue. He smirked, and quickly got his hand into your pants and panties.

His fingers began to explore your pussy, gently passing through your folds, and his thumb caressed your clit, as he teased your entrance with his index and middle finger. You had to control yourself, because your father is on the other side of the table, but this is so difficult, since now Negan's fingers are slowly entering you.

Your eyes are focused on the wall in front of you as you try to control your breathing and eat your apple normally, but when his fingers get knuckles deep inside you and curl, you let out a gasp, having to pretend that you choke on the apple when your father asks what happened, earning a chuckle from Negan.

Your intimacy is increasingly wet, and this makes it easier for Negan, who fucks you with his fingers, going as deep as he can, reaching your g-spot, and increasing the speed of his thrusts. You do your best not to moan, your breathing is labored, and a drop of sweat runs down your forehead, you notice how slow your father is, because he didn't notice your strangeness, but you and Negan are obviously grateful for that. Your thoughts don't stay on that for long, as Negan's stimulation brings you closer and closer to your orgasm, making you bite your bottom lip hard, causing your lower lip to bleed a little.

Your orgasm hits hard, and you close your eyes tightly, your legs shaking and your body squirming surreptitiously, as you try as hard as you can to not moan, causing a small noise to come out of your throat. Negan gives a satisfied smile, and only now do you pay attention to what they were talking about again, your father is going out with some of the Saviors, to look for other communities, deep down you hope they don't find any, but you know that not everything goes as you expect.

You finished your breakfast feeling Negan's eyes on you, but every time you looked at him, he wasn't even looking at you. Your father got up after finishing his coffee, and kissed you on the forehead, leaving the place.

Negan looks at me as I take a sip of my orange juice. "Have you seen the time, sweetie? I can't believe you woke up so late..." he teases you, since you're always one of the first person to wake up in the Sanctuary.

"I don't believe you woke up early, Negan, since you stayed busy late." you say it back, and he understands right away that you know that he jerked off thinking about you, and it definitely doesn't bother him.

"Oh damn, you heard it, huh?" his tone of voice is provocative, and he has that fucking smirk on his face. "What did you think, did you like it, sweetie? I know you did..." you just roll your eyes when he says that. "If I say no, I'll be lying."

And that was it, that was the trigger for him to get up, pick you up and take you to his room.

"What the hell are you doing?" you ask, trying to get down, making him chuckle. "Shit, sweetie, you teased me like hell last night, and now you don't want me to fuck that delicious pussy of yours? You let me finger you and now you don't want me to feel your pussy contracting around my dick like I felt it around my fingers? Damn, you're selfish, huh?" he opens the door to his room, entering and closing it with his foot, placing you on his bed, looking down at you.

You feel your cheeks blush, and you avoid eye contact with him, he certainly notices this, and holds your chin, making you look at him. "Are you embarrassed now? It doesn't even look like you were almost naked in front of me, and rubbing your fucking tits in my face when you went to say goodnight." you bite your lip as he says this, and takes a deep breath, you really didn't expect Negan to react this way so soon, apparently he doesn't even care that you're his best friend's daughter.

"You were a bad girl, you know that? Teasing me like that... Damn, I never thought I'd want to fuck someone as much as I want to fuck you" you couldn't help but end up smirking, licking your lips as you looked at him. Negan pulled you close, kissing you with so much intensity that surprised you, but you quickly kissed him back, moaning into the kiss when his tongue touched yours. He makes you lie down on bed, and he climbed on top of you, kissing you violently, while his hands hungrily explored your body, making you moan and squirm when he gave your right breast a hard squeeze. The man pull away from the kiss by biting your bottom lip hard, and he starts to attack the skin of your neck, sucking it, leaving red marks all over your neck and throat. He quickly removes your shirt, biting his lip as he sees your bare torso.

"Fuck, sweetie, you're so fucking beautiful." he sighs, before sucking one of your breasts while his hand massaged the other, he did it in a delirious way, your pussy desperate for his touch once again, as it gets wetter and wetter with every little thing he does to you.

"Negan, please..." you whispered, and he looks at you.

"Please what, doll?"

"F-fuck me, please..."

Negan chuckles, shaking his head.

"Don't think I'm going to do it before I fuck that pretty little mouth of yours..."

You moan at his words, imagining what it would be like to suck his dick, and you smiled.

"Let me suck you then, please, I want to taste you."

He smiled, there's no way he could deny a request like that, especially since you look so pretty asking for it. Then, Negan gets up, and you quickly do the same, kneeling in front of him, "Goddamn baby, are you that desperate for me?" you nod quickly, clumsily opening the button on his pants as he took off his jacket and t-shirt, throwing them on the bed. He had to help you remove hid pants, as your hands were shaking, making him more turned on than ever to see you so desperate to suck him.

As you pull down his pants, you see his dick almost slipping out of his underwear, and you quickly take off that last piece of clothing, his dick almost hits your face, and your mouth waters when you see it, he really wasn't lying when he talked about how big his dick was, you didn't know if you'd be able to make it all fit in your mouth.

You licked the tip, staring into his eyes, which sparkled as he looked back at you. You licked his entire length, and sucked the pink tip gently, making him let out a sigh. You spat on his dick, letting your saliva run from the head to the base, and began to slowly masturbate him, sometimes licking the head, teasing him, but you saw that he was getting impatient with so much teasing and little real action, so you take as much of his cock as you could in your mouth, and he moaned softly, grabbing your hair. You knew he would want to control it, so you opened your lips in an O shape and now he could make you suck him the way he wanted.

The hold on your hair became tighter, and he began to move his hips back and forth slowly, fucking your mouth. You didn't take your eyes off his. Negan quickly increased his speed, but he wasn't going deep enough to choke you, well, not yet.

He stopped for a few seconds, letting you run your tongue all over his cock again, and then he started moving again. His tip started to hit the back of your throat, and he stopped, forcing his cock deep, making you choke and your eyes water, but he didn't take it off, you tried to make him move away, but you couldn't, he stayed like that for a few more seconds, and took his dick out of your mouth, making you take a deep breath, still looking at him.

You kissed the head of his cock, and once again he fucked your mouth, his balls hitting your chin, while his tip reached the back of your throat, until you got used to it and stopped gagging. The noises he made were like music to your ears, he moaned hoarsely and praised you, pulling your hair hard.

When his orgasm hit him, he left his dick buried in your throat, his cum filling your mouth and you swallowed it all. He took his dick from your lips, and lifted you up, holding your chin. "Open your mouth for me, sweetie." you obeyed, and he smiled proudly, "That's it, darling, you swallowed it all", he kissed you deeply, feeling his own taste in your mouth, but he broke the kiss too quickly, biting his lips as he looked at you.

"Lie face up on the bed." you obeyed again, he opened your legs and removed your sweatpants, looking at the puddle in your panties.

"Damn, sweetie... You're soaked. That's all for me, huh? How cute." you just nodded, and he teasingly brushed the tip of his dick against your pussy, which was unfortunately still covered by your panties.

"Negan..." you're almost begging.

"What, princess?"

"P-please..."

"Please what? Use your words."

"Fuck me, fuck me until I can't barely walk." you begged, and he ripped your panties, throwing them away, and penetrated you deep without warning, making you feel like you've been torn apart, and you moan with him.

"Damn baby, you're exactly how I though you would be, so fucking delicious..." he moans, starting to move, not caring if it was hurting you or not, because he knows that that annoying pain will soon become immense pleasure.

He picked up the pace quickly, thrusting into you deep and hard, almost drooling as he heard your moans and saw your breasts swaying in rhythm with his thrusts.

He leaned over you, getting into a position that made him hit your g-spot again and again, making you almost scream as he was going as fast as he could. You hugged him, and he began to leave marks on your neck as he fucked you violently, one hand on one of your breasts and the other holding your hip so hard that it would mark you.

You feel a delicious and somewhat desperate feeling in your stomach, your orgasm coming quickly, making you bite his shoulder hard while scratching his back, your liquids dripping down his cock, making him moan as your pussy got even wetter now.

Your breaths were labored, and just by the way he moaned and fucked you, not caring that you had just reached your peak, you realized he was close too.

He went to take his dick out of you when the time was coming, but you didn't let him, you want him to cum inside you.

"What a naughty girl, do you want me to fill you up?" you nodded desperately, looking deep into his eyes, and so he did, He continued fucking you until he came and filled you, making you throw your head back at the sensation.

He slowly came out of you, and took two of his fingers to your pussy, taking some of his cum that was mixed with your juices, and brought it to your lips, you opened them, and sucked his fingers, tasting your mixed fluids.

He smirked, and looked at your pussy, his cum dripping from it, and he pushed back inside.

"Keep my cum inside you, sweetie." you just nodded, looking at him, his hair is wet, and his breathing labored, just like yours.

He lay down next to you, and you quickly hugged him, resting your head on his chest, sighing.

"That was so fucking wrong" you muttered, and he nodded, shruging.

"It was, but I don't give a fuck."

"Yeah, me neither."

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.7 K Warnings: Angst (like pretty much every chapter so far). ♡THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT ♡: fingering, masturbati*n, Soft!Sirius, dirty dreams, Needy!Remus. Consent is Sexy! Prompt: The moon is so close and Rem can't control his isnticts as much as he'd wish. And so, he gives into his desires (sort of). This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it

Chapter 51: Some Guys Have all the Luck

♡ SMUT BELOW ♡

“You think Remus’ll be alright?” You asked as you lay on the bed, looking up at James’ fancy mouldings.  

Sirius sighed. “Yeah, the Moon is tomorrow and we had a bit of an argument earlier…” 

You leaned on your elbow and turned to him, “Wait really, about what?” 

“Nothing relevant, just– it was stupid, but I think that’s why he skipped the cuddles today.” 

“Pair of idiots,” you said as you pulled onto his hair. 

“Oi!” he complained, and then smiled devilishly, you knew he was going to kiss you even before he leaned closer and pressed his mouth to yours. It was meant to be a short kiss, but you parted your mouth and sucked on his lip in a way you knew he loved and he couldn’t pull apart. 

Sirius placed his hands on either side of you and slid one of them under your shirt as you kissed. It was nothing he hadn’t done before, but it felt different now, since you knew how far you were both willing to take it. 

“May I make you feel as good as you made me feel earlier?” he whispered into your mouth. 

You smiled and pressed another kiss to his mouth in response, seconds later, Sirius traced his hand down your stomach, and further down, slipping his hand under the hem of your pyjama pants and pinching the side of your leg. You bit his lip in retort and he smiled at your eagerness. 

He was slow, slower now than in the fae pool as he traced your slit, just on the outside of your knickers until he dug in. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he whispered, more to himself than to you and then brought his hand up to his face and sniffed, his finger almost brushing his lips. You swallowed at the sight, you wanted to tease him for it, but it had been one of the hottest things you had ever seen him do. 

He dug his hand back in and started to roll his fingers in the way he had learned you liked and he had you sighing and panting while you bit your lip, trying not to make too much noise. That was when the door slammed open. 

Remus had gone up to the room to change into something more comfortable for the night, and the last thing he was expecting was to find you and Sirius making out on the bed. On the same fucking bed he had slept last night and would probably sleep on the next. “Sorry,” he said as he spotted you and averted his gaze, not without realising where Sirius’ hand had been. He tried not to think too much about it. Not about Sirius stating you had been amazing and incredible and fantastic and everything great because then, he would have jumped in the bed right in between the two of you. “I- ugh… just came to get some clothes,” he added, rushing towards his trunk and taking the first thing he found before. 

You gave Sirius a look and nodded for him to go speak to Remus. He shook his head and pressed a finger to your folds. Remus was still in the fucking room. You threw him a stern look and pouted. “Go,” you mouthed. 

Sirius made a bit of an exaggerated expression but took his hand from your pants and stood from the bed. 

“Hey Moons, can we talk?” he asked as he pressed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. By now you had turned around and placed a pillow over your head trying to hide the mortifying embarrassment that consumed you. 

“What?” Remus asked, voice a tone higher, he didn’t miss the glistening on Sirius’ other hand, but the hardest thing to ignore was the smell. Fucking hell, they smell like sin. Remus would have gone to hell to be able to bask in it. It was obvious what you had been doing and he was –for a second time that day– wishing he had borrowed James’ cloak, to at least be able to watch. 

I’m a terrible friend, he thought. But Sirius looked genuinely concerned, and it was that honest look in his beautiful eyes that brought him back to reality. “I’m sorry,” Sirius said and bit his lip, leaning closer to Moony. “I was a bit of an ass, I was very excited but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have told you about all those,” his lips almost brushed on Moony’s cheek, “details.” 

Sirius was having an internal turmoil of his own, Remus looked so handsome with his casual band shirt and tousled hair, his lips were pink as if he had bitten them and he wanted to kiss them in the same way he had kissed you. He had leaned into him on purpose, he wanted to feel him, which is why his hand was on his shoulder, and he’d wanted to smell him too. He always smelled as delightful as you did, of course, he felt like shit for it.

He had quite literally been making out with you, fingers touching you and it had been so thrilling and then new, lewd thoughts had invaded his mind, but they didn’t include you. Not only you at least. He might have been the worst boyfriend on the face of the earth. Perhaps that’s how his father had been to his mother and that’s why they resented each other so much, perhaps he had also been thinking of someone else, or fantasising about things that weren’t meant to be, ever. 

“It’s okay, we got over that, Pads.” 

“But you– you skipped cuddles and–” 

“Because of my throat,” Remus lied, trying to ignore the bulge forming in his pants and the slight tent on Sirius’ from whatever the hell you had been up to –he did not want to think about it in specifics. Resisting the bIoody temptation to take Sirius’ hands and smell what he’d been doing, to lick the shine away. He held the blush creeping up his cheek at the mere idea of it. “I’m… uh” –he hesitated– “I’m gonna go,” he added, bunched up the clothes in his hands and walked towards the exit. “Good night, Little Witch!” 

“Night Rem,” you said, still under the pillow. 

Sirius was quick to walk back to the bed, “Sorry about–” 

“Next time we spell shut that door,” you said, voice muffled by the sheets under your face. Sirius pressed a tender kiss to your hair and started to rub your back in soft circles, he knew you must have been embarrassed. 

“It was just Moony, he’s seen us do worse–” 

“He has not,” you said, cheeks burning. “He must have been so shocked, damn it.” 

“Well, I mean, It’s only natural–” You shoved him and he laughed, pressing another kiss to your hair. 

You let out a long sigh and then turned to him,  lifting the pillow and leaning your head on it instead, “Hold up, did you wash your hand?” 

“Why would I, it smells great.” 

Remus would have agreed. 

“Ugh… Puppy,” you said with a disgusted expression. He pouted and brought it into his mouth, this time sucking on his fingers in the most lewd way you had ever seen, your eyes went wide before you hit his shoulder. “Such a dog!” 

“They’re clean now, though,” he said as he showed both fingers and moved them for you to see.

You scoffed wryly and hit him again, he only laughed, pressed a short kiss to your lips, and then another one, and then one more until your disgruntled expression was gone. Stupid Sirius Black, he could be so bIoody sweet if he wanted to. And he knew. 

“Veux-tu me câliner, Étoile?” He asked, voice soft, his eyes filled with mirth as if he knew you wouldn’t refuse. 

You sighed. “Sirius,” you smiled. 

“S’il te plaît?”

You scoffed and leaned in close to him, wrapping your arms around his torso and leaning your head on his chest, he pulled you closer when he had the chance, and leaned into your ear, “We’ll finish what we started earlier on a different day,” he promised. 

“Shh,” you said in return, still worried someone might get in. That Remus would get in again. The things he’ll think of us, the images stuck in his head, you thought, still distressed. 

And images in his head there were. He was trying to think of anything else, anything that would drag his thoughts away from what he’d seen, away from what Sirius had told him, away from his sheen-coated fingers, but it all kept coming back to him. 

Sleep, he had to sleep. That would surely make him forget. He went to get one of the sleeping potions that Pomfrey had given him and took a few sips before throwing himself on the bed and hiding his face with the pillow. The potion, thankfully worked its magic on him and he was asleep sooner than later, thoughts gone, and mind blank. 

Until it wasn’t. Remus didn’t dream very often, his sleep deprivation often stopped him from getting his needed rest and when he dreamed, it was mostly after the moon when he was doped with sleep meds. He didn’t think of that when he downed the potion, he only wanted to get his mind off things in that instant. 

And he didn’t have those kinds of dreams often either. Sure, he’d had a lot of them back in 3rd and 4rth year when he was figuring himself out, and sure he had been horrified by some of them when he woke up until he accepted who he was and what he liked. But he didn’t have those as much anymore. Of course, they’d have to come back that day. 

In his dream, the two of you had invited him to the fae pool, you had told him he had to see the colours and then Sirius had proposed for the three of you to get in. That’s when things got lewd. Both you and Sirius stripped and threw yourselves into the water. Kissing each other and then kissing him. It had been so real, he could feel your bodies against his, he could feel your wet kisses on his mouth and lips. He woke up in a heap of sweat and groaned when he realised how hard he was. 

“Fuck,” he said and turned to look at his pants. Feeling mortified over having sexualised his two best friends like that. What would you even think of him if you found out? Would you stop talking to him, would you tell him how much of a pervert he was? 

Fucking Sirius, he had put all those images on his head and things were only getting worse. Walking, he thought, a little bit of walking might take my mind off things. Or a book, I could get that book I left in the living room. Remus took a deep breath, adjusted his tight trousers as best as he could and quietly walked down the stairs. He walked from the living room towards the kitchen, and then to the entrance hall. It was the longest aisle that was also the furthest from the house so he started pacing there. 

Long strides, from the door to the archway that led into the living room and then back. He was thinking about homework and about things he had to study and about anything he could think of that wasn’t you and Sirius. But of course, you always went back to his mind. Either on the Fae Pool, which he had a very clear image on his head by now, or on the bed, with Sirius’ hand digging under your pants and touching you. 

Fuck… fuck.. fuck! Remus couldn’t get the godricdamned smell off his head. It was as if it was fucking there. As if you were fucking there. It was probably because of the moon, his senses were always a mess when the moon was so close and it was proving to be a real fucking nightmare to try and fight against the urges of the wolf. 

Hold up, he couldn’t get the smell off his nose either. He looked around, searching on the corners of the room trying to locate the source of the smell, his eyes finally locked to his coat. 

“My coat?” he wondered as he approached the offending item. He took in his hands and leaned in. “Fuck!”

He quickly remembered Sirius had taken his coat when he left, but it smelled heavily like you. All of it, it was saturated with your smell. It was as if you were there with him, both of you since it still smelled like Sirius. But your smell was much more prominent. He couldn’t understand why until he felt the trace of magic, a drying spell. 

She wore it when wet. FUCK, SHE WORE IT WHEN WET!

The image now solidified in his mind wasn’t helping his case, you wearing his coat, and nothing other than his coat sent another rush of bIood down. He sniffed the coat, burying his head inside of it when he felt his cheeks burn. Lust? Embarrassment? Shame? What was the difference at this point? Moony wouldn’t care. 

Sirius, behind you, placing the coat on you, lightly brushing his fingers on your shoulder before allowing it to wrap around you. Your nipples hard from the cold air after being in such a warm pool brushing against the rough fabric. Sirius looking flushed, his hair still wet and cascading down his bare shoulders. It was an absolute visage. 

Remus felt his pants tightening even more. He knew then that there would be no other way out of this other than through. Perhaps if he used those images now, they’d lose the power they had over him, and then he would get over the stupid crush that kept gnawing at him. He bit his lips in shame as he reached down with one of his hands, gently unlacing the bow on his chequered sleep pants before digging his hand inside. 

He groaned when he felt how hard he’d gotten with the mere imagery of you and Sirius. He hid his shame-filled face on the coat and smelled again, allowing the scents to enrapture him as he patted himself, lightly, teasingly, a soft and much-needed release to his struggle. When he wrapped his hand around his cock, he bit his lip even sharper to hold back a groan, using his other hand to push part of the coat into his face in an attempt to muffle the sound. He moved his hand over his boxers, tracing himself softly until he grew tired and desperate and dug his hand behind the elastic. 

He was painfully hard. And he almost flinched when he felt his hand wrap around himself. He then remembered yours, how much softer it was, how much smaller, he imagined it was you and not him the one touching him, he pretended his scars were your fading broom marks and that it was your thumb brushing against his tip in the way he liked it instead of his. 

He imagined the coat was your shoulder, and that Sirius was just behind the two of you, pressing gentle kisses to his temple and hair as he praised the muffled sounds Remus was trying to hide. He remembered the way your bodies felt pressed into his. Back in the snow day, and when you cuddled, how one was soft, and gentle, and the other toned and strong. Sirius’ smile, Sirius’ hair, your hair, your lips, he had kissed your lips, what a lovely taste they had held. Sirius’ kiss, much longer ago, much shorter than the one he’d given you, but just as present in his mind. 

Remus completely lost himself on the thought of you as he stroked, becoming number and dumber to the world outside of him. So enraptured in what he imagined you sounded like, that he completely missed the quiet steps coming down the stairs. 

You had woken up a few minutes ago, the fact that Remus had refused cuddles still nagging you. You laid there, looking up at the mouldings again while you heard James’ light snoring and Sirius’ soft and warm breath. Something was missing. 

Remus was missing. 

It was his soft breath, his warm hands, the pleased smile he sometimes had while he was sleeping. You had gotten so fucking used to it these past few days, they had been the reassuring sounds and sights that tied you back to reality and away from Christmas, and you missed it, and you felt ridiculous over the fact that you did. You couldn’t depend on him, he was your best friend but he was also only your best friend. He didn’t owe anything to you, let alone to be the comforting figure whenever you felt triggered or had a sad memory. 

It wasn’t his duty to deal with your problems, it was no one’s obligation. You’d have to learn to deal with your own shit, not become so attached to your friends that you become dysfunctional without them. You were sure Remus would eventually find someone who liked him, who loved him, truly did. And then what would be of you? 

No matter how much you loved him, you couldn’t afford to hinge on him the way you had so far, you couldn’t hinge on anyone like that. You had never done it, and you wouldn’t start to crumble apart and do it now that things got harder. If you had to deal with it on your own, then you’d find a way. At least you were good with that.

“You okay?” Sirius asked when he noticed the stirring on the bed. Eyes closed and hand searching for you. 

“Yeah,” you said softly, placing your hand on his head and brushing his curls behind his ear, enjoying the softness of his features underneath your thumbs. “Just thirsty.” 

“Want me to come down with you?” 

“No, don’t worry, Luv,” you said. “I’ll just get some water and come back,” you added and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. He smiled when he felt your lips on his face and kept that smile even as you slid off the bed and looked for a pair of shoes. 

You were quick and quiet as you walked down the stairs, walking straight to the kitchen and serving yourself a simple glass of water. You had just brought it to your lips when you heard a strained sound. You frowned and placed the water back on the table, paying close attention to the sounds. You heard it again, and then something close to a sob. 

Remus! You thought as you looked around worried. Is he crying? you wondered. He had been there for you every single time, you weren’t about to go back and ignore it completely. You weren’t sure where he was, but decided to be quiet as you looked for him, since you didn’t want to scare him off before you got close enough to wrap your arms around him and comfort him. 

The sounds were soft and almost imperceptible, as if was using something to muffle his sobs. Not in the living room, definitely not in the kitchen. You were so worried for him that you didn’t even realise that he wasn’t crying while you followed the sounds. Finally, you found where he was. When you spotted him he was hunched against the coat rack, right next to the door, head buried in his coat. 

You took a step forward, ready to embrace him when you heard something that sounded nothing like a sob, and everything like a moan. Your eyes went wide, and your breath hitched in your throat. Another moan, and then a grunt. You stared, one of his hands was holding the coat to his face, the other one… the other one was moving, quite fast. You turned around in an instant, cheeks burning as you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to delete the image of Remus jerking off from your brain. 

Ragged breaths, panting, moaning, how the hell had you confused that with sobbing and tears? You felt like an intruder, interfering with his private moment. Although he had done it in the fucking entrance hall, what the fuck was he thinking? 

You decided not to question his actions and after gulping, you started with slow, quiet steps towards the stairs. Much quieter now than you had been before since you knew he had exceptional hearing. 

I shouldn’t be listening to this, I shouldn’t be listening to this, you thought. 

Remus, still wrapped up in his mind, hadn’t even heard a thing, not your hitched breath nor your stumbling while you tried to get out. He was still in the fae pool, his head buried in your hair and now Sirius’ hand around his cock. 

What a wondrous thing the mind can be, not even his dream had been as lively as his imagination was proving to be at the moment. “Fuck,” he whispered when he felt he was close, you had just pressed a kiss to his neck. Sirius’ hand movements had become much faster as he fucked into it, now hip thrusts meeting with hand strokes. 

And then he felt it, the rush of adrenaline surging through him. “Sirius,” he whispered, soft, but clear as water. His mind now brought him back to the real world as he realised the kisses weren’t real and the smell that felt so vivid came only from the coat. What a sublime and yet wretched thing had that coat become in a matter of minutes. It had gone from his two best friends, to a simple coat, and then one stained in his cum, he hadn’t even had enough time to catch it with his hand.

What? you thought as you turned back to the door. Did I imagine that? you wondered, but the ragged breath, the soft sound of Remus’ voice, it hadn’t been strained, it wasn’t debatable whether he had said  Cyprus or Sirius. It had been fucking evident, clean cut and obvious. Painfully so. 

Remus Lupin had cum on his hand while thinking of Sirius Black. Your boyfriend Sirius Black.

There was another course, and then Remus’ soft voice again, “Evanesco.” 

You swallowed and ran towards the bathroom, closing the door as quietly as possible and then locking yourself inside. You sat on the toilet seat and ran your hands through your hair. Maybe he had said Cyprus. Maybe it was a different Sirius. 

But sweeter lies couldn’t have been told, it was obvious. It had been obvious for a while but you had been blind to it. Blinded by the love we have for our friends, you remembered, it had been Remus the one to tell you that. 

But it really had been there all along, the way he looked at Sirius sometimes, a look that you’d found interesting but weren’t sure why. The way he talked about him, the way his hands would linger on Sirius’ the way he seemed to always be around. How he had looked at Sirius back at the Halloween party, how he had run away the minute Sirius had licked his face. 

How he had gone straight to Alice and kissed his sorrows away, and you, you had been kissing Sirius too, displaying all the love and affection you felt to each other for his torment. No wonder Moony was often angry, no wonder he sometimes stepped away from you and Sirius. 

No fucking wonder, he hadn’t cuddled with Vixen and Pads that night. If Sirius told him– if he guessed, what had happened in the fae pool… You let out a soft, defeated breath. You had been displaying your affection for Sirius, waving it like a flag in the air while your best friend was deeply in love with him.

Fuck he saw us in the room too, you thought then, Sirius kissing you, his hand deep in your pants, and then he went and talked to Moony, touched Moony. Such an unbound cruelty you had committed against your best friend!  Of course, you hadn’t known, and you would have never done it on purpose if you did. But even in your nescience, even in your blindness, you had done it, you had hurt him, and ignorance was no excuse. 

How many times? You wondered, how many times had Remus been forced to see you kissing Sirius? Forced to see you all over each other, perched on his lap, playing with his hair, kissing his face. How many times had you talked to him about Sirius? 

How many times have I made him suffer?

Because, was there anything else he could do? Just sit and watch, in silence. Suddenly you realised, when he told you he liked both men and women and you had thought that he seemed to want to say more, perhaps he was about to confess his feelings for Sirius. You gulped, he had seen you cry, he had seen your red-rimmed eyes, and he had decided to shut up, to swallow his feelings instead of admitting them. For your sake. 

What an extraordinary friend you had, and what a dreadful one you were.

How long had it been since he fell in love with Sirius? How long did he have to suffer being into him? Sirius who went on dates and was known for being a player. The Sirius you hadn’t met but you had heard about from whispers in the halls. The Sirius people talked about when they made bets about the duration of your relationship. 

Secrets, Remus had so many of those, how wrong had you been when you thought you already knew them all...

You silently squeezed your hand on your arm as you reprimanded yourself for being such a terrible friend. What were you to do now? Stop kissing Sirius in public? With what fucking explanation? Sirius loved PDA, the entire world knew it. Perhaps you had to talk to Remus instead, but then again, how would you even go about it? 

‘Hey, I saw you jerking off while thinking of my boyfriend, wanna talk about it?’

You sighed again, defeated, so sure you wouldn’t find a solution, and your mind drifted to Sirius. There is no way he knows, right? 

You were certain he had no idea Moony was bi and if he didn’t know that, then there was no way he knew of the feelings Remus harboured for him, and there was no way to make him understand the dire situation you were both in. Oblivious to the pain you had caused to Remus. Oblivious to the one you continued to infringe. 

You couldn’t even blame Remus for falling in love, you had done the same, you understood him perfectly and it only made you feel worse, that you had been the chosen one and not him. What you’d give to bear his heartache, with everything he had done for you, it was the least he deserved. 

And there was Sirius, always touchy, always soft, always happy to be around Moony, always happy to cuddle him and play with him and touch him, the lingering hands never seen as something bad, the stares met with smiles and games. The concessions he had given him, both for you and for himself. You were sure he wouldn’t allow any other boy to be close to you as he did with Remus, at least not in the same way you were close. 

Wait a minute.

Special concessions: the jumpers, the looks, the touching… what if Sirius-?

There was a soft knocking on the door. “Starshine, are you there?” 

“Sirius? What are you doing here?” 

“I thought something might’ve happened to you, you said you came for water but it’s been a while.” 

“Oh.” Of course, he asked if you wanted him to come along. “Yeah, no. Everything’s fine, I just– girl stuff,” you improvised. 

There was a moment of silence. “Is there anything I can do for you?” 

You stood up and flushed the bathroom, washing your hands and face before stepping out, “Don’t worry about it,” you said as you flashed him a smile. 

He placed his arm around you and the two of you walked back to the room, James still slept like a rock. 

Friday, January 7th, 1977 - Full Moon

Effie and Monty had already left, and they’d be back in the morning with potions for Remus. You’d left Sirius sleeping and James had gone for a very early flight. You joined him when you realised he was gone and tried to fly fast enough to leave your thoughts behind.

It didn’t work, the images of last night would come back to your head every now and then, and you were left speeding so fast it was almost unsafe. James didn’t know of what’d happened last night, but that didn’t mean he didn’t notice your change in demeanour, he just assumed it had to do with the Christmas Party rather than with anything going on in his house.

“Hey! Wait up!” He said as he tried to catch up with you. “You’re going too fast, you’ll lose control.” 

You turned to him with a confused glance and then started to slow down, so fast that James went on a few metres until he realised you had stopped. He turned around and flew your way. He wanted to ask you if you were all right, but he’d already seen –more than once– how you’d clam up after either one of them even referred to what happened at the party, or to your wand problem or to anything even remotely close to it, and today was a beautiful day, he didn’t want to ruin it by being intrusive. 

“Race you home, yeah?” he said instead. 

You smirked at that and nodded, “You’re on.” 

Racing was good, you rarely backed down from a fight, let alone from a game like that. James knew you well enough and he was using that to his advantage, he was aware it’d help you get your mind off whatever was troubling it, and he was determined to help, even if it was by aiding you in the stubborn evasion of your own feelings. 

You were both at the same invisible starting line, looking at each other attentively. “Three…” he started.

“Two…” 

“One, GO!” he said almost a little too fast and took off. 

“Hey, that’s cheating!” you complained with a laugh. 

“You would have caught up with me anyway,” James shouted from a couple of metres ahead as he turned to look at you and then. “Just takin’ a headstart for it to be a more fair race.” 

“It’s still cheating!” You laughed again and leaned over your broom a little, close enough so your own body would cut like a dart through the air instead of offering resistance. You caught up with him in seconds. He looked at you flying next to him and scoffed. He’d expected to at least last a little bit longer in the first place. “Maybe you were right.” 

James scoffed at your cocky words and leaned down on his broom in the same way you had done, trailing next to you, behind by no more than half a metre. “It’s unfair how fast you are!” 

“It’s because I’m smaller, Prongsie, those big shoulders don’t help you all that much!” 

“Lily likes them, though.” 

You laughed at that and picked up some more speed, breaking just before you crashed head-first into one of his windows. 

“That’s bIoody insane!” Sirius said as opened the window to look at James almost crashing face-first onto him. “Don’t fucking injure my girlfriend with your games, Prongs!” 

“There’s a higher chance he gets injured than me,” you said with a laugh from above and flew towards the window. “Sleep well?”

Sirius leaned his elbows on the window sill and then his chin on his hand, he looked very much like a princess from a book. “Not as well as when you were here,” he said with an exaggerated pout.

“Ugh, please!!” James complained. 

You smiled and leaned back on the broom a little. “Hey Prongsie, come over here, will you?” He did as told, you instantly leaned towards him. “What do you see over there?” you whispered as you pointed towards your boyfriend. 

“A twat,” he responded with a shit-eating smirk. Loud enough for Sirius to hear. 

“Oi!” Sirius complained. 

“I mean besides that,” you said with a similar smirk, Sirius looked at you as if he had been betrayed. “I mean, imagine if Sirius had slightly longer hair, golden, letting it fall to the window down to the floor.” 

James cackled after that, the picture so clear and vivid on his head it might as well have been painted, “Like Rapunzel?” 

You nodded and bit your lip, Sirius hadn’t heard, but he looked agitated as the two of you laughed, enough for him to stop leaning so casually on the window, and placing both hands on the sill to lean on them with a slightly bothered scoff. 

“Hey Rapunzel, let down your beautiful hair!” James teased. 

You laughed outwardly at that, Sirius was pouting now, he looked beyond adorable. 

That’s when you remembered another certain lady who used to linger by her window. You smiled, and cleared your throat “But soft what light through the yonder window breaks. It is the east and Sirius is the sun.” 

He gave you an exasperated look.

You bit your lip as you tried to hold a smile. “Arise, fair sun, and kiIl the envious moon.” 

You had not realised it, but Remus was just behind Sirius, witnessing the entire play. The envious moon, it certainly fits me, he thought, almost bitterly. 

“Oh, it is my love, see how he leans his cheek upon that hand. How I wish I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek.” 

“Oh, please,” Sirius said exasperated, although he was smiling now as if your theatre was as diverting as bothersome. 

“He speaks!” you said exaggeratedly as you turned to James wide-eyed, and then back at Sirius. “Oh, speak again, bright angel” 

“Are you done?” 

“O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?” You continued, leaning closer to him. 

“That? Never!” Sirius said as he leaned a little closer to the window. “Come, fair maiden.” 

“Oh for fucks sake, he’s joined her,” James muttered under his breath as he watched the entire scene unfold. 

“Stony limits cannot hold love out,” you said as you flew closer to Sirius, a smile on your face, your nose was brushing against his and you had to bite your lips from the stupid lovesick smile you were withholding. 

Sirius laughed, and placed both of his hands around your face, “What satisfaction can I offer you, Étoile?” 

Did Sirius even read Romeo and Juliet? You wondered as you thought of your next line, “The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine… If my heart's dear love—” 

Sirius kissed you, interrupting your ramblings by dragging you towards him. James rolled his eyes from the side. “Oh, blessed, blessed night, I am afraid. Being it night, all this is but a dream…” you said in between a kiss. Dawn had come mere hours ago, your words made almost no sense, but you barely cared.

“Too flattering-sweet to be substantial,” Remus finished. You pulled from the kiss and stared at him. You paled. How long had he been there? How much of your silly game had he seen? 

“Remus, you’re awake.” You said. Sirius, oblivious as he was from what you’d seen last night, turned to Moony with a smile as bright as the star that carried his name. 

“Morning, Moons,” he said. 

Moony took a deep breath, it was a second, almost a flicker of it, but there was a sadness so deep you could almost feel the pang in your own heart. You faltered at it, feeling equally sorrowful. He then smiled, “Morning, Juliet,” he joked, and then turned to you with a soft nod, “Romeo.” 

“Juliet?” Sirius asked, confused, and turned to you. “Who’s Juliet?” 

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet,” Remus replied. 

“It’s… uh–” you started.

“Doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee take all myself,” Remus added while looking straight at Sirius. You faltered again. 

Sirius had pulled back just a second, but he was looking into Remus’ eyes so deeply, and so enchanted by them, that you felt like an intruder. Like Romeo and Juliet had found each other and you were nothing more than a Paris or a Rosalind. You were so lost in your thoughts, that you flew to the side, and your boom got caught in a vine, making you lose balance and fall a couple of metres down to the bushes. 

“Vixen!” James said as he sped down, trying to catch you, but by the time he reached you, you were already in between the bushes. They had mostly broken your fall.

The loud thud was enough to break the trance of the boys and they had both leaned over the window to check on you, you heard them both calling, each using their own nickname for you. 

“Hey,” you said with an apologetic smile. Both Remus and Sirius looked mortified, James, who had seen you were all right, was just shaking his head in a disapproving manner. 

“Does Romeo fall off the Balcony at any point?” James asked you with a diverted smile. You stuck out your tongue at him. 

“Who the hell is Romeo?” Sirius asked, confused. 

“Shakespeare, mate! You live under a rock?” James replied, feeling entitled. He had only known about Romeo and Juliet because Lily had been telling him about the Shakespeare collection she had gotten Mary for Christmas on the train.

“Muggle?” Sirius asked, turning to Remus. 

“Oh, very,” he replied.

“Not all of it, Midsummer Night’s Dream has fairies.” 

“Are they as delightful as you are, Tinkerbell?” Sirius teased.

You rolled off the bushes and to the side, hiding your entire face in the snow and groaning. That nickname was your own fault, you had suggested Remus to read Peter Pan aloud and Sirius wouldn’t stop comparing you to her. “They’re equally obdurate!” he’d said, to Remus’ amusement. 

“You’ll get cold,” James said as he pulled you from the snow. 

“I don’t care,” you replied, turning to him with a pout, one of your cheeks still buried in the snow. “It’s actually good for your muscles.”

“Yeah sure,” James said as he pulled you up and turned to the window, “See you in the dining room?” 

“We’ll be down in a second,” Sirius said. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Little Witch?” Remus asked, leaning his head over the window while Sirius removed his nightshirt to change into something else. 

You looked up at him too and placed your hand over your eyes, the day had gotten so bright you could barely look at him straight.

“Like softest music to attending ears!” You replied dramatically. 

Sirius leaned over his shoulder, shirtless with a confused face and you gave him a thumbs up, not missing the nervous look Moony threw his way as their bodies came into contact with each other. You looked down from that, remembering what had happened the previous night with a small frown. 

“Come on,” James said as he pulled you by the shoulder. “Mum must have something for falls on her potions cabinet.” 

“I’ve had much worse.” 

“Yeah, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt still,” James said with an all-knowing raise of the eyebrows. 

As you walked inside, you spotted Remus’ coat still in the hanger and instantly drove your sight to the other side. The elves had already placed breakfast on the table by the time you got to the room, and you went straight to take a seat while James went over the cupboard behind you and looked through the many potions their parents had brewed. 

You were resting your head on the table as you waited for the other boys to arrive. 

“Shadowshade?” James asked. 

“That’s for sunburns.” 

“Harmony Haze?” 

“Isn’t… isn’t that for singing better?” you asked as you turned to look at him, he shrugged in response and placed the potion back on the spot.

“Veil of Vigour?” 

You looked at him with your eyes wide open and stood up next to him, “Are you sure?” 

“That’s what it says, why?” He turned the label towards your face.

You leaned over his shoulder and whispered what that potion did to men.

“Shut up!” he said as he gasped. “Dad’s not that old!” 

“Maybe it’s for a friend?” you said with a shrug. James was still trying to process the information when you pointed to one of the others.

“That’s Skele-Gro,” he said. He took a small vial with green liquid and held it up to you, “Calming draught?” 

“No,” you said as you shook your head.  “That stuff knocks me out.” 

You pointed at one, “What does it say there?” 

James was better at deciphering his dad’s handwriting than you were. “Ce–“ he started. “Celestial Soothe.” He pulled it out from the cupboard in a second. “This is great actually,” he said as he walked towards the table and served about a quarter of a glass of water, “Dad used to give it to me when I was learning how to fly,” he took the dropper and trew around 8 drops on the glass. “It would take the pain away almost instantly.” 

“You fell a lot?” you teased as you took the glass he had in his hands and took a gulp. 

“You better sit down,” he said as he pulled a chair, you almost instantly relaxed onto it. “I was always trying to do stupid tricks so yes.” 

You laughed and took another drink, not only were you now a lot more relaxed, but the soreness from the fall was completely gone, not that it had been very painful, “Oh, wow.”

“Yeah,” James replied with a knowing smile as he sat down.  

Sirius and Remus came down the stairs seconds later, “Hey boys!” you said. Sirius walked straight towards you, sitting down on the closest chair and placing a soft kiss on your cheek before he served himself some orange juice.

“Tea, Luv?” Remus asked. You turned your gaze to him, he was looking at you apprehensively. Sirius leaned onto you, and you turned to look straight at the cup, avoiding your gaze entirely. 

“Please,” you responded as you looked at him serving. 

That look on his face, had it always been there? How hadn’t you seen it before?

Although what you saw as apprehension, was nothing other than longing. Yes, it often made Remus jealous that he couldn’t kiss you or Sirius with that same familiarity, that he had the memory of your lips engraved in his brain but that it was nothing more than that, a memory. Moony being so close to clawing his way out of him didn’t make him more lenient. But Remus was never uncomfortable if you kissed each other, heck he had imagined you kissing each other while he jerked off to the coat, the only difference there was that, in his delusion, you welcomed him to the kiss shortly after.

You were worried for him, you wanted to talk to him, but you didn’t even know how to begin. You couldn’t tell him you knew since it could sound like a threat, besides, he might pull apart from the both of you, and you would never want that to happen. Remus and Sirius drifting apart, you and Remus drifting apart, the idea ate you up from the inside out. You loved your friendship. And perhaps you were being selfish –if Remus was in pain– but you didn’t want things to change, you didn’t want more things to change. You didn’t want to lose Remus, the idea of him being a stranger, of him not speaking to you, of being unknown. It was harrowing.

You didn’t want to lose more friends, even if it meant only drifting apart, you just couldn’t bear the idea of it. 

And Remus was still Remus. He was still acting like he did all the time, playful and yet the voice of reason when the boys –and you– got unreasonable ideas. 

He placed your tea, prepared exactly how you liked it, next to your plate. He was the same. The only thing that had changed was your knowledge of the situation.

“Are we ready for tonight?” Sirius asked with a smile. “Effie and Monty left, right?” 

“Yup, earlier today,” James said as he popped some pancakes into his mouth. “Picksie and Mellie will catch up with them after lunch, I believe they’ll leave dinner ready.” 

“And you sure there will be no one else in the perimeter?” Remus asked apprehensively. 

“That’s why we were flying today in the morning,” James said.

“Before we decided to get into a race,” you added. You stood up and walked over to the bathroom. By the time you got back you realised James was talking about Tadpoles, and while Sirius looked at him attentively, Remus was lost in Sirius’ nodding profile, you felt so impossibly stupid. 

That look, so immensely similar to the way you looked at Sirius all the time, eyes fixed on him, lost on him. How hadn’t you seen it before?  Undeniable as the full moon, Remus was lost on him, and you didn’t blame him at all. 

Remus said something to James and Sirius cackled, that’s when you realised that Sirius’ gaze also lingered on the other boy.

It was in the way he’d brighten up when Remus smiled, in the way he would laugh louder if Rem cracked a joke, in the way he would look for him when he wasn’t around and in the way he would often ask about him when he was gone. 

Had he been like that with you too? 

You didn’t want to think much about it, you were so in love with Sirius, with everything about Sirius that you had never stopped to think, to really think, if he was as in love with you as you were with him, and then again, even if he was, what about Remus? 

“Starshine,” he said as he looked past Remus’ shoulder and towards you, “Did you hear that?” 

You shook your head and gulped, “I must have missed it, What was it?” 

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Well this one's a bit of a rollercoaster, wasn't it? At least someone finally SAW something!

Read more Marauders Fiction

[starcurtain]

Ratiorine Fics I Want to Read

1) Modern AU: When Veritas Ratio discovers a beautiful businessman poised to jump from the roof of his apartment building, he does something he's never done half as seriously before: makes a bet. One month--in just one month, he will find this "Aventurine" a reason to keep living. The terms: 30 days, anything goes, whatever it takes to make some kind of meaning out of a miserable existence. If Ratio loses, a brilliant-eyed gambler will disappear from the world forever. If Aventurine loses... well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. (Of course, neither of them anticipated that Ratio would end up becoming Aventurine's reason to live--but there's something to be said for non-zero-sum games.)

2) "I'm real sorry to bother you, mister, but I think I'm lost?" Aventurine is pretty sure he's dreaming. Pretty sure he's been pulled back to the hellscape known as Penacony. Pretty sure the Lady Emanator might need to come back and take another swing at him, to burn out the last hold of the Harmony for real this time. Because those are the only logical explanations for why Aventurine is currently locking eyes with his own younger self, standing very confused in the middle of his trussed up Pier Point condo, far from the Family's shadow. (Or: That one where a blessing from Gaiathra temporarily sends the young Kakavasha out of harm's way--straight into the care of his future self. Aventurine isn't the ideal person to care for a child, but hells if he's going to let his younger self experience anything less than the safest and most wonderful weeks of his short, miserable life. The only real problem is, well, how is he possibly going to explain this to Ratio?)

3) A super soft, small fic of Ratio reflecting on all the ways his life has changed since Aventurine came into it--there's noise in his apartment now, and a photo on his desk in the office; there's troublesome snacks to pet sit and someone keeps sneaking inappropriate jokes into his lecture transcripts. There's a sounding board to test his lesson topics on, and a peacock on his cellphone lock screen because he's developed a newfound fondness for the color. There's a go-between nowadays when the ravenous investors come sniffing after the results of his research, and unlabeled packages containing exotic bath salts from star systems even Ratio has never heard of... But most beloved of all: the sense of soundness and symmetry, of something unexpected settling perfectly into his hold, at last.

4) Bodyswap AU: Ratio and Aventurine end up on a mission that goes wrong in every sense of the word (aeons, it's always aeons). They're separated with probably half the known universe between them, stranded on unrecorded planets without credits or technology, and--most bizarrely have all--have definitely swapped bodies. Cool. Cool. What the fuck. Aventurine is honestly tempted to say he might be coming out ahead in this whole drama--he's ripped and tall now--until he discovers that in Ratio's body, he doesn't have his luck. Meanwhile, Ratio is discovering just how much harder life is for Signonians, and coming to truly appreciate how strong of a person Aventurine really is. Somehow, they've got to make it back from half way across the universe, accomplish their mission, and get their own bodies back. Please?

5) A collection of complaint logs very important internal IPC records:

Complaints received on the dangerous behavior of new Stoneheart "Aventurine of Stratagems"

Complaints received on the hostile work environment created by Intelligentsia Guild Consultant Dr. Veritas Ratio

Request for transfer

Request for transfer

Request for transfer

Proposal (Joking) to assign Stoneheart Aventurine to joint mission with Intelligentsia Guild Consultant Dr. V. R.

Request for transfer

Request for transfer

Proposal (No Longer Joking) to assign Stoneheart Aventurine to joint mission with IG Consultant Dr. V. R.

Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete, three days before projected date, Casualties: 0, Complaints: 0

Note from Clerk #157B to Clerk #162S, on digital post-it: "Are you seeing this shit?"

Mission Report, Status: Complete, two days behind schedule, Complaints: 1 - "Please don't subject me to the drivel of untrained imbeciles again. If you're going to send someone from outside the Technology Department, at least provide a competent strategist. The same one from last time, preferably."

Mission Report, Status: Complete, Casualties: 1, Complaints: 1 - "Just send Ratio next time, okay?"

Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete

Complaint received on the questionable conduct of Stoneheart Aventurine: "Why did my boss send me to buy bath bombs? Who are these for?"

Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete

Complaint received on the biased behavior of IG Consultant Dr. V. R.: "Why does boss get called 'dear gambler' while the rest of us are 'fool'?"

Penacony Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete

Notice of Hiatus from Intelligentsia Guild Activities and Sabbatical from Lecturing, Reason Given: None

Request for Paid Leave, to: Diamond, cc: Jade, bcc: Topaz, Reason Given: Elopement 💖

6) Maybe it's not a sensitive thing to ask. Maybe some stories are better left in the past. But Veritas Ratio has never been able to curb his desire to know--nor his desire to right the wrongs the world with that knowledge. Laid bare, pale against the lip of the tub, with nothing but the rippling of the bathwater to accompany him, Aventurine tells the story of each of his scars. Some marks cannot be washed away. But some--with time, with touch--can heal.

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series is 18+ and will contain fluff, suggestion, SMUT (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, mental health struggles, eating disorder, self doubt, body image issues, daddy kink, angst, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 29 - Another Fall Baby | ‘Ours’

word count - 11.8 k

Another day, another morning filled with Teddy’s giggles echoing in your kitchen. Trent was chasing her around the island counter as you tried to dodge them, multitasking making Trent’s protein shake and Teddys pancakes for their respective breakfasts. This was their thing lately. Teddy liked to think she was going at the same speed in your kitchen that she was watching Trent run on the pitch during his matches every weekend. She assumed he was trying just as hard with her. She assumed she was just as fast as him. Trent wasn’t going to tell her otherwise. It was fun and he wanted her to believe she was that fast, he wasn’t going to be the one to burst her bubble. He was off to training after you all would eat. You had your first appointment for your pregnancy with your doctor in a few short days. Today you planned on taking it easy and doing everything you could to avoid the anxiety you were feeling about that appointment. When the game of tag was finished and breakfasts were done you sat Teddy at the table to eat, getting her situated. Trent opted to stand at the countertop with you resting his chin onto your shoulder, one hand holding his shake, the other placed delicately over your stomach.

“Thank you for carrying another beautiful little baby for us.” Trent whispered only for you to hear, keeping his eyes locked on Teddy being her usual self, happily munching on the tiny pieces of pancakes you had cut up for her and a few strawberries. 

“Think he or she will be beautiful like her?” You asked sheepishly. Not really as a jab or a dig at his ability to make a cute baby more from a place of personal insecurity. What if your next baby looked more like you and wasn’t as cute as Trent’s carbon copy swaying her head back and forth with dramatic ‘mmms’ at the table right now?

“Yeah, I mean it’s impossible for them not to be really. They’ll look like us.” He continued on and you hummed. “Look at me baby. Any baby of mine has a pretty good shot at being cute.” He teased turning your chin with his hand to look at his correctly defined cute face. You rolled your eyes at his, though accurate, obnoxious cockiness about his appearance. “And there is a 100% chance any baby of yours will be gorgeous, alright?” He confirmed.

“I guess.” You mumbled out letting your eyes flutter closed for a moment, still worried. Trent’s cute comments definitely made you feel mildly better. They were sweet but you couldn’t shake your nerves entirely. 

“Looks aside, baby, because at the end of day that’s not really what I’m worried about, they are so lucky to have you as a mummy.” Trent cooed, turning you by gripping your hips, spinning you into him. You smiled up at him and pecked his lips draping your arms over his shoulders. “I didn’t know until I met you how bad I wanted this.  I didn’t know how important it’d be but this family, our children, I’ll do anything for us and more specifically you, pretty girl. You're everything, baby.” He cooed a particularly heavy and emotional comment.

“Yeah? I feel like everything was just in black and white till we had Teddy. Can you bear with a cheesy sentiment?” You looked at Trent with earnest eyes. He nodded, not entirely sure what he was signing up for but he’d always listen no questions asked. “I feel like my life was very static, it was all still photos with no movement and then I met you and it transformed into this movie. Everything began to flow and move. There was a score playing in each scene, like music. It just came to life and then when we had Teddy, it was like this gorgeous perfect movie flooded with color. I’m learning things all over again and appreciating them and the fact that I get to do it with you and her, I just keep falling in love with our life.  It’s different having a family of my own. It feels like I finally am…” you took a deep breath, snapping out of your emotions before finishing your soliloquy. “Healing.” You flicked your eyes that had been fixated out a window to the back garden through the monologue back to Trent.

“Wow… baby. Erm.” Trent blinked his eyes a few times, taken back by your really heartfelt and almost heartbreaking confessional. “I mean… you know I’m not as articulate with my words as you are so as much as I like to win I don’t think I could compete with that because honestly you speak as beautiful as you look, baby.” He dropped his hands around your waist and over the curve of your ass to the back of your thighs picking you up and placing you to sit on the countertop. He stepped in between your legs and cupped your face, coming closer. “I feel the exact same way. I couldn’t express it better but baby… I don’t think you realize that you’re the reason things in life began to transform into moving colors. You’re the one that brought on this metamorphosis. You’re not the girl I met on 78th street. You’re everything I imagine that girl wanted to be. You’re so strong. What you’ve been through, whether it be the physicality of bringing a child into this world or the strength you’ve shown to heal and manage your health. You’re so brave. You always tell me I am after big matches and that you're proud of me but honestly comparably it’s nothing to what you do day in and day out. I couldn’t be more proud of you simply for just being you.  Baby, what you provide Teddy and I is immeasurable. You are invaluable and you deserve to be living in a kaleidoscope world of color that I, by some higher power, got to be the lucky man that gets to give that to you and I hope I do.” Trent kept his voice quiet and despite your attempt to keep your tears at bay, they disobeyed your intentions and tumbled down your cheeks. You wrapped yourself around Trent and just breathed him in. 

“You do, T. I love you so much.” You pulled away from your hug with a smile and started to giggle. Trent looked at you with a confused smirk. “What the fuck was that? That was so emotional.” You kept laughing. You and Trent went from having breakfast to baring your souls. You wiped your face and Trent followed in your hands wake with his thumb catching a few stray tears. 

“What’s wrong, mama? Why sad?” Teddy yelled out, concerned seeing you and Trent. She pushed her little pink plate with a bit of food left on it forward away from her. 

“I’m okay, Teddy girl. Just talking to daddy. Are you all done?” You cooed, turning towards her and hoping off the counter. You went to move past Trent but he grabbed your arm and pulled you back into a bear hug swaying you back and forth. 

“Ted, do you know how much I love mummy?” Trent asked her, kissing your head in between words. Teddy hummed a disinterested ‘yeah huh.’ He released you after a few more kisses you weren’t complaining about. You went over to Teddy and sat in the seat next to her high chair. 

“Hey, mummy.” Trent called for you as he grabbed a water from the refrigerator for himself. “I liked that picture from the GQ shoot you gave me so I moved it from my car into my locker in the changies so I need a new one.” He explained walking over to the kitchen table. It was just a thing you did to make Trent smile one day. You had tucked a photo of you all into the visor on the driver's side in his car. Evidently he liked it enough to move it. It was common for footballers to keep a photo of their families in their spaces at the training center. You were fairly sure he already had one but you weren’t going to press. You’d happily give him more.  

“Hmm. Okay, do you just want the same one or a different photo?” You asked him, watching him come towards you two at the table. 

“Erm… doesn’t matter, I just need one that I look good in.” He cheekily replied and you rolled your eyes. “One that my baby bear looks adorable in.” He cooed, running his hand over Teddy’s head before he pulled a chair out and sat down with you two. You nodded in agreement. “And obviously one that you look beautiful in, got one of those for me, pretty girl?” Trent asked, sliding his chair closer to yours and reaching out to squeeze your thigh. 

“Yeah, I can find one for you, T.” You smiled at him, placing your hand over his on your leg. “Can you have one more bite for me please, cutie girl?” You asked Teddy sweetly, pushing her plate back towards her. Trent picked up her little fork and picked one of the sliced strawberries up with it moving it to Teddy. 

“No tank, dada. Done, mama, tay?” Teddy told you very matter of fact climbing off her chair. You furrowed your brow and turned to Trent. Teddy’s new found independence was a little funny but it also caught you fairly off guard every time it showed up. 

“Oh.. okay, I guess bye.” You laughed as you watched her run out of the dinning room and lay herself flat on the hardwood floors next to your dogs. “How are we going to tell her?” You quietly asked Trent, keeping your eyes on Teddy with the dogs. She was talking to them like it was a mutual back and forth conversation.

“I don’t know, baby. How do you do that? Like does she know how that works? I don’t want her to know what we get up to.” Trent didn’t like the idea of Teddy being anything but his baby. It was clearly equally as perplexing to him as it was to you about the new hurdle you were about to tackle becoming parents for the second time    

“Erm… no. Right?” You answered him quickly. You were open with Teddy. You weren’t avoiding the logistics of life, you’d explain things if she asked. You didn’t want her to be afraid to tell you or Trent anything. You wanted her to be comfortable but Trent… well, Trent wasn’t all that comfortable about the idea that Teddy would ever grow up to be anything but his little girl, bundle of joy, pure, naive, angelic. He wanted her to stay that way forever if it was possible. 

“I don’t know, I can't imagine that. I mean we have to be realistic. I don’t want any of the stork shit. She’s smarter than that so I think we tell her honestly. Like I want her to know what's up but also not what her parents get up to, does that make sense? I don’t… God, baby, I don’t know.” Trent babbled almost confusing himself more. 

“Well obviously. I’m not gonna be like oh daddy and I fuck, am I?” You quipped with an obnoxious smile. Trent rolled his eyes at your dramatics. “This is when I feel like a fucking child. We’re parents and I have no idea how you do something like this.” You echoed his babbling, leaning your head onto his shoulder feeling the weight of raising a child with a second in the house approaching. 

“Baby, alright. Just relax.” He hummed caressing your sides. “She’s smart, she'll understand it. I guess we just google what to do because I’m not fucking asking my mum how she told me.” Trent laughed and you followed him agreeing that you didn’t want to ask your parents either. This was something you’d have to do your own way. It was your family and you two dictated how you’d run the show in your own house. You assumed you might have to do this again at one point or another if you survived having two.  

“I can’t believe I’m pregnant. Like I am right?” You whispered to Trent hesitantly asking him. It was obvious you were but a part of you was both apprehensive and eager to get to your doctor's appointment. 

“Baby, we’ve taken literally like 10 tests here and have the appointment so soon. I am pretty damn sure though.” He whispered back with a breathy laugh.  

“I know, I just.. I don’t know.” You sighed, hiding your face in his neck. You heard Teddy scream chasing one of the dogs. You could hear them scamper across the hardwood floors. “Think we’re ready for one more?” You asked Trent with a smirk pulling at your lips seeing Teddy round the couch with a giggle. Trent hummed confirming that he thought you were before kissing your temple.   

You walked into the cinema after Trent had come home from training later that day after you had put Teddy down for her last nap before dinner. He was sat back on a big lounger reclined with a massage gun working it over his thigh muscles haphazardly and lazily. December was always such a busy month for him with football and his body was starting to feel it. Even after the work he’d do at AXA for recovery with staff he still needed more. He was sore and tired. 

“My poor baby.” You cooed, coming to stand in front of him with a pout. He gave you a sleepy smile and beckoned you to come sit with him by a simple head gesture. “Need my help?” You asked, coming to the end of his seat and then crawling towards him. You slid both of your hands up his thighs moving them high up to his groins. You took the massager out of his hand before he even had answered you.

“Yeah, I need you, baby.” He sighed. He let his head drop back onto the cushion behind him. You did this a fair bit with him. When Trent was too tired after a match or training, you’d do anything for him. He didn’t even ask, you’d do it unprovoked more often than not. Sometimes you’d sit at the end of the bed or even on the floor at the end of the couch rubbing his feet, things like that. You didn’t mind, you wanted to do it. You held your pouty bottom lip between your teeth after you turned the massage gun back on. You focused on moving it in just the way you knew he liked as you kneeled, resting your ass back on your heels in between his legs. Trent had his eyes almost closed until he realized that the view in front of him wasn’t one he wanted to miss. The way you were bent over massaging him dressed in your skimpy tank top had your boobs practically falling out of it. You definitely fell into a category of women whose boobs tended to change during pregnancies. Trent wasn’t complaining. He tried to be coy but he was shamelessly staring as your larger boobs jiggled with every movement, watching your hardened nipples press into the fabric. “Yeah, I really need you, baby.” Trent groaned quietly and at first you didn’t realize it was anything other than a confirmation that maybe he felt better having someone else massage his sore muscles for him until he gently pulled down the soft fabric of your top letting your tits fall out. He pulled you up to him and swiftly wrapped his lips around one of your now exposed nipples. God, he felt so good. His tongue swirled around the perky bud. You were swollen and sensitive and this was turning you on an ungodly amount.

“Can I sit on your lap, T?” You asked him after minutes of pleasure what sounded fairly innocent but you both knew what you were asking for was more than a place to sit. You could feel your panties getting progressively more soaked. Your hormones were a mess lately. You couldn’t contain your desire for him. 

“Nah, i want you to turn around f’me.” He instructed you and so you did, slightly confused but you’d always listen. You sat in between his legs facing forwards, your back to his chest with your top pulled down. He wasted no time, pulling said top over your head though leaving you in nothing. “Tell me you want me to?” He asked you as if you knew what he was talking about. You turned your head back to him and in the smirk pulling on his lips you knew he was up to something both no good and simultaneously amazing. You nodded sheepishly, biting your lip apprehensively not sure you were agreeing to. “Open your legs, yeah?” His eyes had a lust burning behind them. Hisone hand pulled one of your thighs helping you. He turned the massage gun back on and what he was about to do pinged in your brain immediately. You whimpered when he moved your panties to the side using the pulsating ball of the gun. 

“Oh my fucking god, T.” You whined when Trent pressed the button of the massage gun once again. The speed of the vibrations increased. You bucked your hips into nothing but the gun’s vibrations, moaning. He was fucking loving this. You could feel warm liquid from your soaking wet pussy run down the inside of your legs. 

“Can I speed it up a little more, hmm?” He hummed and you whined. You were practically shaking as you felt your orgasm come closer. “Gonna be a good girl?” He asked you as he pressed down on the button to turn the vibrations up again. You nodded as he did it. Your back arched off of his chest. Shockwaves ran through your entire body while he moved the ball of the gun from your clit down to play with your entrance and then back up and around your clit.  Your orgasm came crashing over you unannounced. You could feel your juices leak from you but you couldn’t think straight to even care or even speak up to tell Trent you were cumming. He knew you well enough to know that’s what this was, in fact, he knew before you even had. He pressed the button once more to turn the massager back down to its original, lower, thank god, setting. Your chest heaved as you came down from your high, your clit still pulsating. 

“T, baby, please.” You whimpered as you pushed off of him, sitting up right. You were desperate for more. He just set you off. You turned around, placing your hands onto his shoulders swinging one of your legs over his lap and straddling him. Trent’s cock was painfully hard after watching you cum like that.  In quick succession, you pulled his length out from his joggers. You took his throbbing cock and ran the tip of it through your folds. 

“Go ‘head, pretty girl.” Trent smiled loving how needy you were for him. You nodded, taking his instructions, guiding his cock into your wet pussy’s entrance. Your eyes fluttered closed as you slowly began to slid down, taking every inch of him. “Fuck me, baby. Feel so good f’me.” He groaned feeling you around him.

“Oh my god.” You moaned. No matter how insane of an orgasm he just gave you with a massage gun, nothing would ever compare to how good he felt inside you. He dipped his head lower, kissing down your neck all the way to your exposed chest. He wrapped his lips around one of your already sensitive nipples. He groaned, biting your nipple, pulling on it with his teeth. You whined even more. You were gone. Trent had you a complete mess. He had your ass in his big hands. He slapped one of your asscheeks. The sound of his hand smacking against your skin and the squelch of you riding him was beyond lewd. The way you slid up and down on his cock was pure bliss for Trent. He didn’t want this to stop but the way your pussy clenched again and again had him dangerously close to cumming. His length was covered in your slick, it was a  pornographic sight. The veins in Trents neck pulled as he groaned trying to not finish just yet. He leaned your body back and thrusted up into you while you continued to bounce on top of him holding onto his shoulders. You made eye contact with him through hooded eyes as he fucked into you. Your nails dug into his skin, leaving behind crescent shapes, trying to hold off on your high till he told you you could cum. 

“Fucking hell, baby. Cum with me, yeah? Cum, baby. I need to cum inside you.” Trent growled, pulling you back into his embrace, nuzzling his face into the nape of your neck. He bit down into your skin. You whined his name repetitively as you came around him, falling apart, your pussy tightening and throbbing all at once. He groaned, releasing his warm cum inside you. Your body collapsed into his. You ran your hands over his hair delicately despite your heart still racing. 

“I love you so much, T.” You whispered, breathing the scent of him in. You laid into him limply as you both tried to regulate your heavy breathing.

“My baby.” He kissed your skin. “That felt so fucking good. God, I love you, beautiful.” He whispered, dragging you off him to cup your face in his hands. He looked deep into your eyes before he kissed you. You smiled into the kiss and pulled away with a giggle. You weren’t expecting your assistance post training to turn into all that. 

“C’mere, beautiful.” Trent pulled at your bare waist when he came home from training the following day. You were changing into a new outfit for a dinner you were going to tonight. He dragged your semi lingerie clad body back a little bit into him after he had come into your wardrobe. You were inspecting a romper you were holding up that you had thought you had wanted to wear but were now second guessing it. 

“I don’t want to be fat again.” You sighed sadly turning to him with a childish pout as you pulled the off the shoulder light pink romper over your body. 

“Baby, you have never been fat. If you’re talking about just changes because of the pregnancy… You’re carrying a baby, sweetheart. It’s so beautiful, really. You’re so beautiful.” He gripped your shoulders, turning you back to look at yourself in the mirror. He kissed your collarbone from behind leaning over you. “Look at you, gorgeous girl.” He slid his hands down your sides a few times before landing on your hips and squeezing them. 

“I look horrible. It’s just the worst part of the whole thing.” You sighed running your own hands over the front of the romper to flatten its material down to your stomach that was still flat but just the thought of what was to come was already upsetting you. It was far from true but you felt like you could see the bump already.

“You could never. What your body is doing is an amazing thing.” You rolled your eyes at Trent’s honest and sweet words that unfortunately weren’t enough to sway you. You scoffed a little at a kiss to the back of your shoulder and his sincere sentiment. “Well, you’re just in such a good mood today, huh?” He laughed. “Gimme a kiss, make you feel better.” He cooed, turning you around once more. 

“You’re hilarious.” You sighed defeatedly. He was amazing, you were just easily deflated by the idea of your appearance changing. A lot of women loved pregnancy and embraced the natural beauty of it all but you didn’t have a ton of that around you. You had your mum who immediately monitored your appearance from the second before to the second after you gave birth and all the way though, Lauren and Winnie who were actively avoiding pregnancy, walking around with arguably 10/10 bodies, and Dianne who would do anything to convince you that you were beautiful, but your put that off to you just being her daughter in law. It was a slightly confusing jumble of support. 

“Let’s think of all the fun things… c’mon.” Trent gently suggested kissing your forehead. 

“What? like not sleep…” You snapped unnecessarily harshly, turning away from him to go look for the shoes you wanted to wear with your outfit tonight.  You combed through shelves of shoes frustrated, unable to find the silver pair of Aquazzura heels you wanted. 

“Aw, baby don’t do this” Trent groaned trying his best not to get frustrated with you. You hadn’t even found out ‘officially’ about your pregnancy yet and this was how your mood was. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t thrilled by the possibility of nine months of this type of attitude. He just gave you a gentle smile trying not to deep it too much.  

“Well you’re not the one…” You began to start another snappy comment. “Nevermind, I’m sorry.” You exhaled with a sad smile seeing him sit down on an ottoman in the wardrobe patient as ever ready to listen. “Hi…” You pouted at him. “I missed you all day.” You sulked feeling sorry for being so short tempered with him after he was nothing but kind. You came and sat on his lap, draping your arms over his shoulders. You snuggled into him.

“There she is. Hi, baby.” He kissed your temple. “Missed you so so much. I missed you all day and I will next week, you know. So can you please come with me?” Trent segued into his quest to get you to go to Milan with him. You both had been invited to the Prada Spring/Summer Fashion Show. Since your British GQ article came out your status just socially really took off. You were getting invites, your following on Instagram skyrocketing even more, PR requests for more opportunities came flooding in. God bless him, Tyler was helping you out in the meantime but simultaneously trying to get you set up with an agency to work with because he and Trent didn’t really have the resources in the women’s fashion world that were relevant for who and what you were getting requests about. 

“No, I don’t think so, T.” You shyly and selfishly told him. You had decided to go, then not go, then go, and now were currently in a ‘not go’ phase. It was all very exciting initially, slightly overwhelming, sure, but since the whirlwind change of going from simply a mum to a pregnant woman with a 2 year old made you less interested in flying around for shows or frivolous trips down to London for dinners with brands. You were of course grateful and flattered you were invited but leaving Teddy and additionally getting dressed up, trying to look good when you felt anything but, like you’d already gained weight, when your self confidence was plummeting, when your skin felt less than, it was just too much. “Everyone is just going to say I gained weight.” You oversimplified your mind's tornado of thoughts, looking at him with a lot of fear behind your eyes.  

“You haven’t.” He confirmed. He actually completely disagreed. He thought you looked great, You looked gorgeous with a more healthy glow than usual, in fact. You visibly didn’t look all that different from a month or so ago till this moment. No real physical signs of pregnancy had really begun to show but maybe there had been a bit of a placebo effect happening in the mirror now that you knew..

“I have, I’ve been weighing my…” You started talking and then trailed off as Trent’s eyes grew wider with inquiry, a little shocked and frankly, annoyed to hear that you were doing something he really hoped you’d forgotten about entirely.

“Baby…” He cautioned you. He was fairly stern, hanging on to the things you’d promised you’d keep to for your health, for the health of his child’s mother, for the health of your relationship, really. He hated the idea of ‘tough love’ with you but he cared enough to do it. 

“T… I had to know.” You poorly defended your actions, falling back into unhealthy ways. You were using your fluctuating emotions as an excuse to swerve back into old habits that provided a bizarre form of solace for yourself. It gave you an uncomfortable feeling of comfort. It was a semblance of control you were able to create. You needed to know.  

“You don’t. Baby, you do not. Come on, we have to manage this better, Y/N. I’m not doing all that again. I’m so serious. I love you and it’s just not happening again.” Trent was very very serious. He was not messing about. Now that he knew what was at risk, what happened after Teddy was born, your essential collapse, not a shot in hell he was letting you two fall anywhere back near that place. “How can I help? How can I make you happy, just for today? We’ll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Let me help.” He asked you, insisting you let him in. He ran one of his hands up and down your back.

“Can I just have a kiss please.” You sighed and asked him with a childish pout. You knew Trent would baby you if you even gave him a sliver of space to do so. He was ready to give some sort of ‘tough love’ but the way you batted your lashes and your bottom lip rolled, had him crumbling almost every time. 

“Always. C’mere beautiful. C’mere.” He cooed, pulling you gently by the back of your neck with his big hand into a soft kiss. He hummed loving the feeling of your lips on him and you definitely didn’t disagree. 

“Will you be mad if we have another girl?” You asked a little nervously. You couldn’t control anything like the gender of your baby so asking for his opinion was a little bit of a doomed thing to do. That said, no matter what he’d say you weren’t sure you’d believe him either way. You knew he loved being a girl dad but a part of him and yourself of course wanted a little boy. 

“Nah, we just have to keep trying don’t we?” He teased trying to lighten the mood, pecking your lips once more with a cheeky smile. Your face didn’t change so he quickly kept talking. “I’m joking baby… absolutely not. Look how beautiful Ted is, how beautiful you are. I’d love another Alexander-Arnold girl in my life.” He told you honestly and you took a deep breath thankful. Even if he wasn’t being totally truthful you appreciated him saying that. You think he was being honest though. 

“What should I wear tonight?” Trent asked you a bit later on as you were finalizing your look for your dinner date with him with lip gloss in the en-suite of your bedroom. He evidently hadn’t gotten dressed yet despite your initial plan to leave the house in 10 minutes. 

“T…” you laughed. “Are you serious? I thought you were ready to go?” You asked him, staring back at him leaned against the door frame behind you still in his joggers through the mirror. He just winked back at you. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.” You teased.  

“Pretty and in need of my pretty girl’s help so...” He cooed, waiting for you to give him the assistance he was looking for. 

“The blue Rhude knit shirt I got you, please!” You called out as he had already turned to leave the en-suite to go into your wardrobe. He hummed as you layered a coat of the shiny gloss over your plump pink bottom lip. 

“Can I wear Dior pants? You know those ones…” He yelled his fairly vague question for you to hear. Despite his vagueness you knew what he meant. You smacked your glossy lips together with a smile. Trent had done a full 360 on his opinion on your help with his clothing. Yes, 360. He had initially let you help him, to try to get in your good graces because he had a crush on you, he wanted to show you he respected you. Then as you got more comfortable in your relationship, he tried to hold his ground. He could feel himself slipping, that he had no backbone when it came to you. Even if he knew that your suggestion was the better option, he’d stay with his choice just to prove a point. He was stubborn and you loved him for that. Now? Now, he wanted you to do it all the time. He preferred you to pick for him. 

“I like those if you want but I’d kind of prefer a navy pant. Can you do the blue Prada ones? I like them better with like the LV cream and white trainers.” You rattled on and Trent smiled listening to you as he combed through his things looking for what you were instructing him to wear. Minutes later as you were rushing to throw everything in your Pucci bag, he came out changed and somehow ready before you. 

“I did good, no?” He smiled big like a little kid proud of his look that you had put together as if he had done it all on his own.  

“Yeah, very good, baby.” You laughed and he hummed victoriously. “Going to give me any credit? You know people used to pay me to do this?” You told him with a smug face waiting for your kudos.

“You always know what looks best but is it the clothes or is it me though?” Trent cooed and you rolled your eyes at his cockiness. He came towards you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “How am I meant to afford you though? You're priceless, baby.” He kissed your hair. You gave him one more eye roll even though your heart was fluttering at the things he was saying to you. “Fine, fine, I’ll pay you for your services, hmm? Promise. Taking you out to dinner, who says I don’t have a little gift for my baby, and I absolutely promise when we get home... I’ll give you one of my best services in return, yeah?” He kept talking, letting his voice drop lower and closer to a whisper coming to press his lips to your ear. A shiver ran up your spine subsequently.  

“Yeah… okay. I’ll accept all that. Still might be a little short but… It’s fine.” You tried your hardest  to focus on keeping the fun game of banter going and not get distracted by his switch up. You moved out of his hold heading to the door out of your room to the hall to leave for dinner.   

“A little short! How!?” He yelped, chasing after you. He kept an offended face but he loved when you’d mess about with him.

“I gave you a child!” You snapped turning around to face him with a conniving grin. 

“I gave you a child! That was a shared endeavor!” He rebuttled his correction as he wrapped his arms around you frantically dragging you back into the room with him walking backwards. “Hey, hey, hey. We made that little girl together. If you want I’ll refresh your memory on how we did it, alright?” He spoke with a cheeky smile that had your heart racing.  

“Later. We have to go. I hate being late for reservations.” You pecked his lips, placing your hands on top of his and removing them from your body. You actually left the room this time successfully to get downstairs. 

“I knowww.” He groaned having to readjust himself in his pants after your heated conversation. 

“Can I start you off with some cocktails?” The waitress asked you. You were sat at a small table across from him in a dimly lit restaurant. The same type of lighting that he had looked so gorgeous in on your first date. The one that had you practically stuttering and hiding behind your hands or your cocktail. You felt the same unfairness looking at him. Even years later, he was stunning.  

“Erm.. yeah... Oh no, wait actually, I’m okay, thank you though.” You stumbled through your answer momentarily, almost forgetting you were pregnant and couldn’t order the margarita you usually liked to order at this restaurant. Trent smiled, reaching out to brush his finger over your knuckles pretty happy for the reason you weren’t not drinking. 

“And for you?” The waitress raised her eyebrow, practically licking her lips at Trent. She had this tone in the way she asked him that insinuated you were boring for not drinking. You wanted to stand up and tell her you were not drinking because the man, also your husband, she was currently undressing with her eyes fucked a baby into you but you would never, you certainly thought about though. 

“No, we’re alright. Just two waters…” He paused. “Lemon?” Trent looked to you for confirmation so you nodded. “Yeah. Lemon, please. Thank you.” He sweetly nodded to her, flicking his gaze back to you. 

“Ridiculous.” You teased him as the waitress left your table. You rolled your eyes at the situation.  

“What?” He looked at you fairly confused and very naively because the look on your face was one of sincerity and familiarity he didn’t recognize why.

“Just the influx of women all day. How do you even know you want me when you have so many options?” You asked. It came out so bitter and insensitive. You didn’t mean to come off so harsh, it's just that it was a matter of fact, women came up to him all the time.

“Wow… erm.” Trent kind of choked getting out a response. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“T, I…” You tried to explain through a stutter but he cut you off before you could even get out that you didn’t mean it as a jab. 

“Nah, nah. I’m gonna answer because you clearly want to know.” He smiled at you with a confidence that made you feel a little insecure. You felt guilty it came out that way. You weren’t trying to be critical of him. You’d be lying if you said the attention from women didn’t bother you a little bit it wasn’t his fault. He never fed into it. “I know, baby, because you are the only woman I see. Don’t roll your eyes yet, alright?  Let me explain this. You are illuminated and they all are just dulled out in my vision. I barely even see them. They don’t have the same light behind their eyes. Their laughs don’t sound right. They don’t make my heart hurt when they leave. I can feel it when you're close by and they don’t feel right, their energy isn’t right for me. You're everything they don’t even know they aren’t. Everything you are is everything I’ve ever wanted.” He told you with certainty keeping his eyes locked on yours. 

“Oh…” you sheepishly got out wanting to hide embarrassed but you kept your eyes fixed on him, feeling a bit more comfortable and braver than your first date. You didn’t want to look anywhere but those perfect brown eyes. 

“I get an ‘oh’ in response?” He laughed a little at your shyness teasingly. You had more on your mind but that was the only word that would come out. 

“No I just…” You didn’t know what to say or how to articulate it maybe. You felt flustered like you were just meeting all over again. You looked at him with doe eyes feeling insecure despite the massive rock on your finger telling you to feel otherwise. 

“Baby, I don’t think you’ll ever understand what you do to me. Wrapped me around these dainty little fingers.” Trent smiled, pulling on your ring finger clearly on the same page as you. “It’s unfair what you do to me and I love every second of the inconsideration you unknowingly took on my heart.” He continued. 

“I don’t know if I agree that I have that effect but I know that I feel that way about you.” You shyly said to him with a cheeky smile though. Trent shook his head disagreeing with your disagreement. “It’s strange, no? To feel so out of control about the way you feel for someone.” Your smile grew and you felt like so did the size of your heart. 

“Yeah, like there’s nothing I can do. You got me, baby. No getting rid of me now because you’re all I want and I’m never living without you.” Trent gave you a smirk that made butterflies swarm your stomach. 

“No, nothing at all.” You giggled. “Just completely at yours, pretty boy.” You smiled at him and Trent felt his heart falter just the same as he watched the warm candle light flicker across your face. “But that’s good you feel that way because I’m not leaving you so you’re stuck with me… well us too.” You smiled again, placing your hand on your stomach referring to you, your daughter Teddy, and your unborn little baby. 

“I love you, beautiful… all of you.”  Trent cooed, keeping his eyes on you in the soft lighting. You were full and you haven't even eaten yet. You were full from the way he made your heart feel.

“More than you can imagine, T.” You responded with tears pushing their way to your lash line. You weren’t even sure if this merited the amount of emotion you felt but regardless you were feeling it. Maybe it was pregnancy or maybe it was him. 

“Got you a little something.” Trent handed you a sizable familiar orange box across your table. He could have waited till you got home but Trent loved doing this. He wanted you to feel special. It made you feel special. You opened the box cautiously. A blue Hermes blanket embroidered again with ‘Baby Alexander-Arnold’ on it.

“Oh…” You whimpered out. Maybe this did warrant the tears that were now about to spill over your lash line.

“You and Ted like the one we got for her, you know and I want this baby and mummy to be happy and cozy together as well the same way. I also thought it was special last time. We could get one for every kid and I just… Do you like it?” He asked you a bit shyer than you were expecting considering how much you did love it. 

“T, it's perfect.” You officially started crying. You were quiet but clearly a bit overtaken by the emotion and how sweet Trent was, not just tonight but all the time, every day. 

“Wow, that's so chic.” The waitress came back to the table to check on you interrupting an intimate moment. This was the first thing for your new baby. 

“Sorry, do you mind if we have a moment?” Trent snapped fairly quickly to her. It was still polite but he kept his eyes locked on yours. You smiled considerately. Your favorite moment in the world, selfishly, was when Trent put you above anyone. It wasn’t about anyone else right now but you two. 

You changed when you got home, tired of being in your heels. You sat cuddled up to Trent back in the cinema kissing on his soft skin as he watched a NBA game on the big screen, it’s blue light filling the dark room. You had no idea who was even playing in the game. Your face was buried in the nape of his neck until a thought popped into your head. 

“What’s your favorite way to kiss me?” You smiled into another kiss against him with a hum. 

“What a question. I’m pretty happy with what you’re doing right now but the way I kiss you? I don’t know, baby. Just when it’s soft, slow. I get to hold you nice and tight to me. Even though it’s gentle, when it's still heated and I know this sounds stupid but I can feel that you love me. Those are the ones for me.” He explained his answer to you in probably a more thoughtful way than you were expecting. Although, that seemed to be the theme of the night. You hummed and wrapped your arms around him a little tighter, giving him a squeeze before moving one of your hands up under his t-shirt continuing on with your task of kissing his neck simultaneously now rubbing your hand over his abs. “I really do like the ones though when I’m inside you and we're having a kiss and you moan into me. Oof baby, I don’t know… that gets me going. Biting on my lip a little as well. That’s up there for sure.” He smiled, dropping his gaze towards you. 

“T, baby…” you whined a little nibbling up his neck, littering his skin with kisses coming up to his jawline, moving towards his lips. 

“I love when you call me that.” He whispered to you moving your face off from him so he could turn his and look directly at you. He kept your cheek cupped in the palm of his hand. 

“Yeah?” You asked in a slightly childish tone but it was also laced with seduction. You kissed the inside of his wrist.

“Yeah. I like ‘T,’ I like ‘baby,’ I mean ‘dada’ always makes me smile.” Trent filled you in on his preferred names that you’d call him.  

“Daddy?” You teased him.  

“Yeah I mean fine, in the context of Ted but that’s more jokes between you and me.” He laughed trying to play it off like you hadn’t seen lust wash over him in the times you’d called him that in private. 

“Is it? Because I think it turns you on.” You giggled with a cheeky smile giving him a bit of a tease. 

“I think it turns you on!” He yelped defending himself, turning your accusation back on you with an equally if not more cheeky smile. 

“Depends on the context, you just turn me on.” You repeated his initial commentary. He hummed in agreement, pecking your lips. 

“Nah, but I do like when I get you to fall into this voice. It’s just for me. You slow. It’s breathy like you’re begging for something but it’s sweet and playful. Baby, I’m telling you now, you just got me down. Everytime you know exactly what I want to hear and how I want to hear it.” He cooed with a glint in eyes as his thumb gently caressed your cheek. 

“T, baby.” You cooed in just the tone of voice he was talking about unintentionally. It was soft and sexy, sincere and innocent. 

“That’s it, that's the one. Gets me every fucking time. That name. Only one in my life that’s ever called me that. And that tone is… just god.” He trailed off getting lost in the thought of you. 

“Oh, you like that? Like when I’m in your ear whining your name T, baby.” Your purposefully pushed yourself into him a little more saying it again. Your hands dropped towards the waist of his joggers. You teased him, dragging your nails over his abs.

“We’re going upstairs.” He quickly told you, disregarding his plan to watch this basketball game. He scooped you up like he did your 25 pound daughter, throwing you over his shoulder. You giggled excited for the rest of your night. He smiled as he jogged up the stairs holding you. 

“It’s so good to see you again!” A nurse came into the room you were seated anxiously in. You weren’t sure if she actually recognized you or if she simply just remembered the last name and Trent’s memorable but also famous face. You definitely remembered her though. She was sweet and super helpful through your entire pregnancy with Teddy. 

“Yeah, course. We’re excited to be here.” Trent eagerly responded, squeezing your hand in his. He was beaming. You were trying to be a bit more tame. You were nervous and not in the way he was. Trent was nervous, of course, but more about like your actual health than your capability to be a parent. He knew you both would be great. You were a bit more apprehensive about the concept of having two kids. You went through the formalities of the appointment. Second by second it ticked by and you just had a feeling as the transducer glided over your stomach with the cold gel that you knew the gender. You could feel it. You had a hunch but you didn’t share it with Trent ahead of the appointment. As the images filled the screen, you could hear your baby's heartbeat. The emotions became overwhelming. You thought you’d be prepared for this having done it once before. You were not.  

“I'm here, baby.” Trent whispered to you. Tears started to roll down your cheeks as you laid staring back at Trent. He wiped his thumb under your eye catching them like he always did. He kissed your temple softly. 

“So you’re coming in a little later this time I think. You’re already about 10 weeks along. It’s good you’re here though.” The nurse spoke gently, looking between you and Trent. Your eyes widened a bit, taken aback. 

“I’ve been pregnant for like… months…” You muttered back shocked. “I wasn’t like taking care of… I didn’t know.”  You were trying to reflect back and think about what was going on two months ago. You were panicking thinking about if you had somehow messed something up already with this pregnancy. The nurse kept speaking to you about how essentially you were fine. You weren’t able to focus though you were combing through the events of the last couple week but Trent was. Two months ago it was early November and Winnie had visited. That made you fairly nervous. You were trying to remember everything you did with her. Trent had a memory like an elephant though so he had the same thought but immediately felt at ease recalling that you asked him if he felt a little sick that night. You did so you opted not to drink. It didn’t even occur to you that just by your own body’s instinct you had been doing everything just fine.

“Well, congratulations Alexander-Arnold’s, looks like you’re going to have one of each. You’re going to have a baby boy!” The nurse cooed sweetly. You had blacked out everything but the sound of your baby’s heartbeat until you heard her say that.

“Nah, nah, nah. No way.” Trent was shocked. He had mentally prepared himself to hear he was going to have another girl. The tears that slowly leaked from the corner of your eyes just began to flood as you sat up a little. The disbelief in Trent’s face made you giggle. His head snapped from the nurse to you. “Holy shit, baby.” He exhaled with a bewildered expression. His eyes watered. He cupped your face and pressed his nose against yours letting his eyes flutter closed. 

“Going to have a little boy.” You pouted before pressing a kiss to his lips. “That okay, T?” You asked him even though you knew this was his dream.

“I… I … I don’t know what to say. Oh my god.” Trent ran his hands over his face trying to process wha he just heard. He puffed out a heavy breath. “I’ve never been happier in my life. I mean.. fuck.” He slapped his hand over his mouth. “Sorry.” He apologized to the nurse after he kept cursing but she waved him off. “I mean it's the same type of happiness but it’s so different then when we found out about Ted. Holy fuck. I can’t believe I get to have a son with you.” He shook his head and started to cry. Anytime Trent cried you knew it was seriously important to him.

“Yeah, our little son. Baby boy Alexander-Arnold. I hope he’s just like you, T.”  You pulled Trent down to squeeze him in a tight embrace. He held onto you while the doctor printed out the photos of the scan for you. 

“I love you. I love you more than anything in the entire world. Thank you so much for carrying our little boy. I can’t wait for our family to grow. I’m so excited. I can’t believe we’re going to have a boy. Thank you, thank you.” Trent babbled just in complete and utter shock. 

“Going to be another fall baby, I guess. Have to ask Winn about his astrology.” You cooed and Trent rolled his eyes. You laughed, kissing his cheek. Trent wasn’t exactly sold on the whole thing but Winnie was. It was something she lived her life by. You just wanted him to understand this baby would arrive in the fall. He was so taken aback that you were having a boy you weren't sure he’d put the math of the timeline together yet. He didn’t care when this baby arrived though. He was over the moon. The nurse handed you the photos of the scan of your baby. You held them inspecting your growing baby boy for the first time. Trent placed his hand on your stomach gently and hid his face in your neck a little overcome with emotion till. Having a son was unreal to him. It was something he had dreamed of. You knew he would never put pressure on your little boy but the idea he could potentially have a son who played football was everything he ever wanted. This was unbelievable that he’d even have the opportunity to even play footie in the back garden with his son. He, of course, would treat him and Teddy just the same but there was something special about having a son. The same way you felt something special about having a daughter. “I love you so much, T. You’re going to be the best daddy to him. I’m so happy, baby.” You hummed, finally feeling the excitement of this pregnancy seeing his reaction as you kissed his temple, holding him. 

“I wonder what Teddy will think.” He pulled away from you with wet eyes and a smile. You smiled back and started to deep it. God, you hoped she’d be excited as you two were right now. 

“You know that’ll be tough.” Trent cooed while driving as you sat in the passenger seat.  

“What do you mean?” You asked him curiously with a smirk knowing it was going to be something close to ludacris. 

“I mean he’s gotta live up to me? Tough no?” Trent explained, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.   

“Stop.” You scoffed at him. You knew he was joking but also it did actually cross your mind when you heard what your little boy's life might end up like having to constantly be compared to Trent. You had already been pondering what to name him because originally you loved the idea of all your kids having ‘TAA’ initials but you also were worried about the ramifications or burden it might be to carry that name. It was different for Teddy. It felt like she had the protection of the surname where it felt like with a boy, your little boy, the surname might act more as a target against him. 

“Nah, I’m being forreal though, I don’t want his mates teasing him for having a leng mum picking him up.” Trent kept a straight face. You had been worried about what it was like to have Trent as a dad whereas, even though he was joking about, he’d definitely clocked a worry he’d been harboring about how people looked at you. Not derogatorily about you at all. He wanted to protect you. He just knew how sensitive you were and how shitty people could be. He knew how you felt when people said things now like the ever circulating ‘with him for his money comment’ or ‘trapped him with babies’ narrative. He didn’t want anything like those types of things to affect your ability to be a mum and be present with them. 

“Well, I mean you don’t think that will happen with Teddy’s guy friends?” You asked him with a cheeky smirk of your own. 

“She’s not having guy friends. I don’t know what you’re on about.” Trent seriously responded and fast to your remark. 

“Oh shush.” You swatted at him. It was a stupid comment but you also knew he kind of meant it. 

“Nah never. Staying home with me every night. Ted doesn’t know boys exist.” He snapped with a bit of a laugh. Trent wanted Teddy to be his baby girl forever and that was becoming more and more apparent. 

“Except she does. She’s surrounded by you lot all the time.” You informed him. Teddy was around boys and you 24/7. Between Trent, Marcel, Tyler, George, Jude, the list rattled on.

“That’s different. Boys are mad these days. I’m her dad and their uncles. Boys her age. Nah, absolutely not.  I’m talking when she’s like older, boys in her school year, absolutely not. They can’t be near her and they can’t look at her… or you. I couldn’t have seen what you look like now in bed when I was 13 or 14. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it, ya know?” Trent breathily laughed.  “Would’ve just wanked all day. Fucking hell.” He laughed a little more imagining his younger self seeing the images he got to see day in and day out in your bedroom. Frankly, even out of the bedroom. 

“Ew, first, gross.” You giggled along with him thinking it was equally as funny. You rubbed your hand tenderly on his thigh. “Secondly, no one else is seeing what you’re seeing. Also, what I don’t have that effect on you now? Grown Trent isn’t as easily swayed?” You teased, questioning him sliding your hand higher up and higher up his leg. 

“Nah, relax. I’m telling you now baby… it’s fucking work.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I’m fighting for my life out here, every day.” He groaned as you palmed over his hardening cock as he tried to focus on the task of driving, proving his point. You giggled moving your hand off him with a smug smile pretty content with yourself. 

When Trent came home from another day after training. You were sitting on the couch minding your own waiting for him to get home. You were tired and catching up on an episode from a show you were watching on Netflix. You heard Trent come in through the garage door but you were too lazy to get up. He snuck in dropping his stuff and dragged his equally tired body on top of yours. He laid his entire weight on top of you. He just started kissing your skin all over, anywhere he could without a word.

“Hi.” You giggled wrapping your arms around his strong body rubbing your hands up and down his back covered by a jumper as he continued on his quest to kiss every inch of you. “That made me smile, T.” You told him. When Trent needed you, when he was soft with you, he didn’t ask for cuddles, he just took them and that was one of your favorite Trents.   

“Do anything to make you smile.” He mumbled with his face staying buried in the nape of your neck.

“I love you, T. That made me really happy.” You gave him a cheesy smile as he pulled away to hold your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb. 

“I love you, baby. Couldn’t wait to get back home to you.” He hummed kissing your nose.  

“Did you see daddy’s home, Teddy girl?” You cooed a little louder for Teddy who was presumably still somewhere close by playing with the dogs. She heard you and came running and fast. 

“Yeah daddy just got home and I am still waiting for my hello from my baby bear. How come you weren’t at the door?” Trent asked Teddy as she rounded the couch, giving her a tired but equally cheeky smile. 

“I’m sorries I… I… was with doggies.” Teddy babbled out feeling guilty. She usually met Trent at the door. She liked to but she had gotten distracted today and your own laziness hearing him come in didn’t help. 

“Ted, beautiful, I’m kidding. Come here. Did you give mummy a kiss today?” He called her over and reached out to her. He picked her up under her little arms and lifted her up onto the couch. He had moved off you and pulled her into his lap. He kissed her cheek. You smiled seeing them back together and laid your head onto his chest to listen to their conversation. She nodded that she had and she did. “How many?” He asked her one more question.

“Don’t knows, dada.”  She looked up at him with doe eyes with guilt washing over her again. She felt so bad she couldn’t remember. 

“That’s not enough then is it?” Trent cooed with a gentle smile. He cupped her cheek. She smiled back at him with a little giggle sensing his teasing tone. Trent nodded towards you  encouraging her to go on. 

“Mama here go.” Teddy cutely gave you a kiss. You laughed back at her with a thank you.

“Just one? You’re only going to give mummy one more!” Trent yelped, plopping her onto her feet. He stood up and began to chase Teddy around the couch. She squealed excitedly that he was home to play with her. You didn’t really have that vitality about you lately.  They both seemed to have endless energy, you didn’t feel that way. To be fair, one was under three and the other was a professional athlete. You couldn’t keep up… you were a pregnant woman.  You sighed though loving their laughs imagining what life would be like once your new addition arrived. You turned around and laid your arms onto the back of the couch. You rested your chin on top of them watching the cute chaos ahead of dinner ensue. 

“Teddy girl, can you come here please?” You cooed while taking a seat on the couch in your living room. She was laying on the carpet playing with a few toys.  She picked her head up and nodded. You were entering the middle of your second trimester, just starting the month of May. You had an appointment with your doctor yesterday and decided with Trent that it was a good time to finally tell Teddy. You had decided that you’d tell your families in the middle of the month so you figured or at least you hoped your two and half year old could keep a secret for you till then, it was roughly 14 days, you thought she could. Trent had just come home. He was grabbing both you and him a drink before he came to sit with you to break the news Teddy wasn’t going to be an only child for much longer. 

“Dada!” Teddy giggled, getting slightly distracted by his appearance in the room. She ran up to him and clung to Trent’s leg. He let her hold on while he dragged her with him to sit next to you.  

“Yeah, yeah, yeah I’m here, hi, but come on. Mummy and I have to tell you something.”  Trent laughed at her overzealousness. 

“Tay. Is it a secret?” She asked inquisitively. Letting go of Trent and pulling herself up onto the couch using his body like a jungle gym and crawling into his lap. She sillily laid out flat letting her head gently fall into your lap. It was strange but sweet that it was like she somehow subconsciously knew she couldn't be as rough with you anymore so she funneled all her energy into the way she’d grab at Trent.  

“Yeah, my Teddy bear. It’s between you, daddy, and I, okay?” You explained starting to feel more emotional now seeing her looking like a real toddler in your lap. It was sort of sad she wasn’t your little baby any more. That she’d be your ‘oldest’ now. 

“Tay tell! Dada tell!” She just about yelled pulling on your shirt sitting herself up. She wiggled her body to sit on Trent’s leg closet to you and draped herself around your neck in a hug. 

“Okay, but it’s a secret, got it? You have to pinky promise, okay?” Trent smiled at her. She nodded and let go of you sticking her pinky out to him, something Trent had recently taught her to do. It was over ridiculous things and she often broke them to tell you about her promises with daddy or tell Trent about her promises with mummy. You hoped that the sacred binds of the pinky promise really stuck better this time. “ Good. Thanks, Ted. So mummy and daddy are really excited right now because there’s a baby growing in mummy’s tummy.” Trent just laid it out in the open brining his hand to gently rub over your stomach for her to understand. Your breath hitched a little. You had discussed this. This was the plan but you just weren’t ready to hear it or something. Trent had no fear. He definitely lived by the ‘just rip it off’ method.  

“You’re going to have a little brother after summer time.” You explained to her the facts a little further, running your hand over her head. You gave her a sympathetic smile, praying she wasn’t going to be upset. 

“Um…” Teddy hummed looking between you and Trent momentarily. “Whys?” She asked you two earnestly. It was better than maybe a ‘no’ you tried to tell yourself.  

“What do you think, baby?” Trent asked her. You had consulted your doctor about best practices for telling a toddler and she had advised that letting them think about it would often help you navigate the conversation so you answered the questions they had. 

“Don’t knows, dada.” She replied with a sad pout. Her face dropped. You could read her expression. It was as if she felt bad she didn’t know the answer, like it was something she should have known so you were quick to help her and reassure her it was fine. 

“That’s okay, baby. We want there to be another member of our family because we love each other so much.” You emphasized the word so kissing her forehead. “Mummy and daddy made a baby and he’ll grow in my tummy till the end of summer then he’ll come out when he’s ready.” You explained a little more sheepishly than you would’ve liked. You laid your hand over your growing round belly for her to see. You hoped this was all making sense. 

“Replacing me?” Teddy’s voice quivered as she asked you with a frown. Her eyes falling into the pools that would always break your heart.  

“No, no, no, baby!  Just making you a best friend, okay?” You cooed fast, immediately making sure she understood that was definitely not the point of this. You wrapped her in your arms, pulling her into a cuddle. You ran your hand up and down her back gently. 

“No, baby bear. We love you so much.” Trent reassured her, kissing her sad pout. “Did you know that Celly is daddy’s little brother? So you’ll have your own ‘Celly.’ Isn’t that cool?” Trent further explained the concept a little more. Teddy adored Marcel so making it out like she was getting something she really liked of her own hopefully would work as an enticement.  

“Tay, like Celly.” Teddy nodded but kept a fairly stoic face. You could tell she was still processing but at least the tears that had welled were gone. She had the cutest expression of thought on her face. “What’s my celly doing in theres?” She asked, turning to you. Trent smiled victoriously, liking that his idea of broaching the baby as the concept of her getting a Marcel of her own had worked. 

“Oh... erm, well your baby brother is just growing bigger and bigger until he’s ready to come out.” You cooed rubbing her little arms. “Do you think he's sleeping now or awake?”  You asked. 

“I think he’s awake.” Trent interjected with his own opinion with a smile letting Teddy know this was a happy, fun thing they could talk about. 

“Umm…” Teddy thought for a moment. “Think sleeps cause mama comfy.” She explained cuddling into you. You hummed pulling her into you more. 

“Yeah, you’re right, Ted. Mummy is comfy, I think maybe he is then.” Trent cooed and Teddy nodded. “Is there anything else you want to know about your brother?” Trent asked her, rubbing his thumb over her chubby cheek.

“No, tank you.” Teddy cooed still ardently hugging you. Trent hummed accepting her answer but very aware that the following days, weeks, and months were going to be chock full of questions from her. “Mama…dada. Still love me with nother baby?”

“More than you can ever imagine, I promise. You have to promise me though that you’ll always be my baby bear, okay?” Trent pressed his nose to her with a silly smile. She giggled with another nod. 

“Yeah. Mummy and daddy’s little Teddy bear forever. Baby, I will love you just the same. Maybe even more, okay beautiful? Going to be a good big sister for me?” You asked Teddy and she gave you a sweet ‘tay.’ 

“Mama?” She looked up at you. You smiled at her and hummed a ‘mmhm.’ “Be big sissy like mama with WinWin?” She asked you and your heart just about shattered. Obviously Trent’s explanation of having a sibling relating it to his relationship with Marcel stuck. She’d been thinking about it more and more since he mentioned it. You tried to hum an answer but couldn’t contain your tears. You sniffled unable to talk. 

“Yeah, baby. You can be just like mummy and be the best big sister like her, okay? Do you want to be like mama?” Trent was quick to act, pulling both you and Teddy into him. He kissed your temple.

“Yeah huh, be like mama. Mama best.” Teddy cooed and you just kept crying. She didn’t know why but Trent got it. It was half that you were emotional about your daughter wanting to be like you and thinking highly of you and half that you were just pregnant and emotional.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🤍 We're coming to the end. Going to post Chapter 30 and then probably an Epilogue.

Next part - The Final Part | Chapter 30 xx

[hydrangeapartridge]

Overindulging (EmmRook short fic)

Summary: Emmrich gets upset because he put on a little weight. Rook is here to reassure him.

The first part is mostly sfw, I signaled the moment we switch to a more heated (E-rated) exchange, please mind it.

Part of my EmmRook post game (so may contain spoilers) short-fics found here on AO3 (or on my blog with the Emmrich x Rook tag).

Rook was absentmindedly getting dressed when a very highpitched, scandalized noise startled her. It wasn’t coming from veyr far away, and she only needed to turn around to find Emmrich staring intently at his midsection, his fingers frozen over the buttons of the waistcoat he was fastening. It was his favourite one, the green one with the golden buttons.

« Darling » He called out to her, distress clear in his voice. He looked up to meet her eyes, sadness mixed with frustration in his warm brown gaze. « It doesn’t fit anymore » He stated, and indeed, Rook could see the first two buttons were fastened but the effort of it was dangerously straining the fabric. As for the last one, it would be impossible to fasten without tearing the lovely piece of clothing and ruining it.

« Well I suppose you’ll have to wear another one » Rook offered with an apologetic smile. She was ever the optimistic one of the two.

Emmrich sighed in defeat, undoing the hardly fastened buttons in a smooth gesture. However right it was, his lover’s proposition, and the implications behind his failure at getting dressed didn’t sit well with the watcher.

« I knew I had gained a little weight, there are always ups and downs in a year. But I’ve owned this waistcoat for decades and it always fit » He complained, pained and irritated. « Now I’ll have to get my entire wardrobe mended and ajusted... »

Rook stepped closer to her lover and placed a tender hand on his elbow to try and pull him out of the spiral of negativity he was losing himself into.

His slight increase in waist circumference wasn’t a surprise, for they had probably overindulged in the last months when it came to food. Emmrich took a sabbatical so they could undertake a journey around Thedas to reconnect with their former companions of the Veilguard, and check on the reconstruction of the cities destroyed by the Blight.

Those long weeks turned months had been a wonderful succession of heartwarming reunions, all of which of course around generous amounts of food and drinks. Rook and Emmrich had been delighted to discuss with their friends while sharing large meals made of the most delicious dishes, whether grilled, or fried, or covered in rich sauces, as well as around tea-times assorted with the softest buttery and flaky pastry. And not to forget the syrupy wines and bittersweet cocktail. Emmrich wasn’t known for his gluttony, but he still really enjoyed a good meal, as well as the cultural enlightment of discovering local dishes. On the way home, he kept reminiscing the taste of the famous llomerryn red sauce from Rivain or the Gnocchi from Antiva.

Pair that with a hectic schedule preventing them from exercising as they usually did, and you got a few more pounds.

It was nothing too serious. Rook herself had gained a little chub around the thighs and waist, but she understood Emmrich’s concerns. He liked to look clean and sharp, and had a strong taste for elegant fashion. All his clothes were also tailor-made and cost a pretty penny, which was an investment he made for the long run. He took very good care of his belongings and she could see why it would upset him to be forced to have them remade.

Rook gently squeezed Emmrich’s elbow. “I’m sure there is no need to come to that yet. A little more exercise and lighter meals should do the trick. You’ll be back in shape in no time”

She tried to reassure him, but Emmrich wasn’t having any of it. He placed a hand over his stomach and squeezed the fat there though the fabric of his expensive white shirt, then clicked his tongue. “I fear it won’t be that simple. Each year staying fit becomes more and more challenging. I’m getting limp and my skin will only keep sagging until I all wrinkled and flaccid. I’ll gradually wilt before your very eyes darling, this is only the start”

Oh.

So that’s what this was about.

Emmrich had partially made peace with his mortality when he brought back Manfred, and he had accepted that Rook loved him and wanted to be with him on the long run despite their difference in age. However his fears and insecurities resurfaced from time to time.

Rook’s heart sank in her chest and she pressed herself against her lover, circling her amrs around his waist, hoping her presence would comfort him better than words would. From experience, she kew that when he was in this state, there was no reasoning with him; no appealing to his usual logic. The last thing she wanted was to get into a fight because of such a trivial problem. Well, trivial to her. They already did fight several times because she brushed off his heartfelt concerns too casually and now she knew better than to lose her temper over this.

Emmrich grew silent, and soon, he hugged Rook back, the palms of his hands pressing against her back.

They stayed in this embrace for a while, Rook listening to his heart while he breathed in the familiar smell of her hair.

“You know I’ll always love you” Rook promised against his chest, and she heard his resulting deep, shaky exhale close to her ear.

“I know darling” He sighed. “It is not my intention to question that… but sometimes it feels surreal” he kissed her temple before he continued. “And sometimes I cannot help but regret that we didn’t meet sooner, or that I wasn’t born later”

Rook looked up to meet his misty gaze, a bittersweet smile on her face. “I understand that sentiment. But I believe things were meant to be this way. I am glad we even got to meet each other. And survived to enjoy the rest”

“Of course, you are absolutely right dearest. I wouldn’t have it any other way” Emmrich caressed her cheek, craddling it in his warm palm. “But the human heart can be weak, and mine is particularly prone to that kind of longing”

Rook nuzzled into his touch “That’s part of why I love you” She stood on her tiptoes, and whispered against his lips “I never hoped to meet such a romantic soul”

She kissed him then, soft and gentle, and he reverently kissed back, both of his hands holding her face like a precious treasure he feared would escape him.

When they pulled back, Rook let the hand that was pressed to his chest travel to his navel. She eyed his reaction carefully, assessing his consent, checking that her touch on the part of him he criticized was still welcomed.

Emmrich didn’t protest, but the attention made him shy, still a bit self conscious, and he distracted himself by replacing a stray lock of hair behind Rook’s ear.

“You are still the most dashing necromancer around you know” Rook said, her usual bright tone returning to her. “And you won’t be alone in your effort. I’ll help. I have a few pounds to lose too”

Emmrich let out an incredulous huff. “Darling there is no need for you to do that. You are simply perfect. Marvelously beautiful as always”

Rook raised an accusing eyebrow and gave him a chastising look which silenced him immediately. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Rook splayed her fingers moree firmly over Emmrich’s lower stomach. “You know, I’m thinking of a pleasant way of exercising…” She whispered wickedly as her hand traveled lower. “I’m sure it burns a lot of fat”

She pressed her palm against Emmrich’s crotch and he let out a small breathy moan.

“Darling, we were just getting dressed” He protested, but only for the principle of it, his voice lacking any resolve.

Rook hummed “But since you were dissatisfied with your clothes, I think it’s better if you don’t wear them at all”

And so Emmrich was quickly convinced to indulge in a different kind of pleasure.

E-RATING STARTING HERE

After a few heated kisses, and unbutonning his shirt, Rook swiftly fell to her knees in front of Emmrich. Without hesitation, she untucked his crisp shirt from his flannel pants first. Her hand deliberatelly brushed his clothed growing erection before she set on undoing the buttons of his trousers.

“Darling” Emmrich tried to grab her attention and she hummed in response but didn’t stop. “As much as I enjoy the view and the promise of your attention, I fail to see how this counts as exercising on my part”

Rook gave his still clothed erection a gentle kiss through the fabric of his underwear. “Consider it a warm up” She hummed “And a way to show you how much I adore every part of you”

Emmrich let out a languid sigh. His fingers moved to brush against her cheek, and played with the hair there while she pulled his pants and underwear enough to find the most sensitive part of him. “Whatever pleases you my dear” He breathed in that lower voice that was reserved just for her; just for these moments shared between them in intimacy. He always ended up indulging her.

Rook took him in one hand, and splayed the fingers of the other over Emmrich’s stomach. She started stroking him to full hardness, while reverantly exploring the dip of his waist, and the more recent softeness of his belly, where a trail of dark hair led to his growing desire. She loved to touch him. Emmrich was a generous lover and was always the one to insist on how gorgeous she was and to focus on making sure of her pleasure. She desperately wanted to reciprocate the favour. Besides, she knew from experience that for all his composure and restreint, a teasing from the mouth should rile him up enough that he would then be most enclined to bend her over any avalaible surface and take her most ardently.

Emmrich’s self consciousness over his stomach became the last of his concerns when she stopped stroking him and started leaving opened mouth kisses on the length of him. He gasped and moaned when she proceeded to take him between her sinful lips, caressing the part that she couldn’t fit in yet between a few fingers.

Rook moaned around him when she felt his hand carefully grab the back of her head, holding ontop her hair without pressure to ground himself and help guide her. She increased the pace of her ministrations as Emmrich’s voice joined the lewd wet noises she was making. True to himself, he kept praising her, complimenting her skills, singing praises of her beauty as she worshipped him with her mouth.

This was incredibly pleasant, but not quite what she had in mind. She pulled away to catch her breath, lazily stroking him instead, the glide made easy from her saliva and his excitement. Her other hand cupped his balls, her heel pressing into his perineum until he was left breathless and flustered. She then moved to squeeze his naked bottom, a part of him that she enjoyed very much indeed. The number of times she was distracted by that ass back in the lighthouse she couldn’t count on the fingers of two hands.

Now that she had rendered Emmrich silent but for ragged whimpers, it was her turn to talk.

“My heart, you focus on the front of your body because that is the first thing you see. But know that the sight of your backside would make anyone both jealous and enticed” She murmured before giving his tip a quick suck, earning a strangled “Darling” from him.

She squeezed his bottom again for good mesure, giving it a small swat as if to make her point “I have seen the way people look at it. Makes me want to burn their eyes in their sockets”

“Darling,I’m sure that’s no-” Emmrich tried to say between heavy pants but interrupted himself, completely losing his train of thoughts when Rook took him into her mouth again, as deep as possible.

Rook smiled around him, prood that she rendered him silent. She used her now both free hands to grab at his backside firmly, using her hold as leverage to try and take him even deeper with each bob of her head.

Emmrich’s hand tightened in her hair, and she moaned delightfully in tune to her lover’s half hearted and whimpered pleas for her to slow down. She could tell that Emmrich was using the last threads of his self control not to thrust into her throat at his own rythm. His thighs were clenching, his knees buckling, she could tell he was losing it.

He was close. But this was far from over yet.

After a wicked swirl of her tongue around him, Rook pulled back, earning a distraught whine from her lover.

She barely wipped her mouth before she got up and proceeded to quickly take off her clothes. Emmrich’s gaze followed the reveal of her bare skin with a distinct hunger. For a second she had rendered him lost as what to do with himself. He stood before her, painfully hard and half dressed, panting and flushed. He looked ravishing; and she wouldn’t give him the leisure of regaining the composure she worked so hard to break.

Rook quickly stepped back into his arms, pressing her naked form flush against his body.

“I think you’ve warmed up enough” She said against his lips, her hand caressing his chest where his shirt was opened. He tried to follow after her lips but she pulled away, instead hiking one leg up his hip. Emmrich’s scattered brain had mere seconds to gather what was expected of him before Rook jumped into his arms, wrapping her beautiful legs around his narrow waist. Emmrich caught her of course, his hands coming to support her backside while she anchored her arms behind his neck.

“Now it is your turn to do all the work” Rook teased, but Emmrich complied.

“Gladly” He breathed before he crashed his lips into Rook’s, his usual finesse lost in the turmoil of his desire.

Rook’s shorter and lighter figure was easy to carry for Emmrich, who possessed more muscles than would be expected of a scholar. In his endevour to age as well as possible, he had adopted a healthy lifestyle consisting of a balanced diet and a lot of exercise. The watcher valued physical form as much as a keen intellect. To fight the rebellious undead of the Necropolis, one needed to stay in shape. Also, Rook learned when they met that necromancers from Nevarra enjoyed friendly tornaments of battle magic and took pride in winning them if possible. Emmrich had his pride, and trained so he would easily prevail if a student or colleague dared challenge him.

Rook remembered feeling both surprised and weirdly aroused the first time Emmrich twisted the limbs of a Venatori cultist with a florish of his wrist, and then proceeded to send him flying with a powerful strike of his heavy staff. To think she first considered him a delicate scholar when they met, and even hesitated bringing him to the field. How wrong she had been, and how she then had put that strength to good use.

Rook wasn’t too heavy, but to perform the activities they had fallen into, they needed more stability. While he kept kissing his lover, Emmrich walked to the nearest wall and proceeded to carefully press Rook’s back against it. The support the wall offered allowed him to free one of his hands. He held Rook around the waist with one arm, and while his lips went down to explore the delicious column of her neck, his free hand traced a path from her clavicle to her breast, where he focused his attention. He squeezed and pressed just the way she liked, without forgetting to give attention to her already erected nipple. Rook’s head fell back into the wall as an abandonned moan escaped her lips when his mouth replaced his fingers on her chest. In an impressive exercise of multi-tasking and balance, Emmrich’s hand travelled lower, testing the state of arousal of his lover. She could see the bicep of the arm holding her tensing under the strain of her weight, pulling the fabric of his shirt tight. That sight only could have made her ready for him.

To only Emmrich’s surprise, Rook was soaking wet already. He collected some moisture on his index finger still, and proceeded to pet her clit for good mesure. Rook closed her eyes under his expert ministrations, but she shook her head when he started teasing her folds and her entrance.

“Please my heart, I need you now”

To think she planned on being the patient one today. Emmrich’s lips traveled back to her neck, then cheek, and stopped to kiss and nip at her sensitive ear.

“Who am to deny you when you find yourself in such distress dearest” He purred, low and assertive before he blew on her wet and tender ear, making her gasp and shamelessly grind against his erection.

Rook admired the display of Emmrich’s strength as he repositionned her to align her center with his aching need. She was vulnerable and opened, her legs brought up against the inside of his elbow, her ankles thrown over his shoulders and her weight supported by both the wall and Emmrich’s long fingers grabbing her hip dips, her lower back mostly fitting into his large palms.

He entered her slowly, making sure she was comfortable. The sight was delightfully exciting: Emmrich still half dressed taking her naked form, the muscles of his broad shoulders and of his arms flexing to hold her in place as he penetrated her.

A first tentative thrust and then Emmrich pressed flush against Rook, bending her in half and trapping her against the wall while his cock caressed her insides. She felt impossibly full and deliciously stretched, forced to take him without moving; losing the ability to form a coherent sentence from the raw pleasure of it all.

Rook’s moans were loud and unrestrained as Emmrich took her against the wall, deep and slow. Even when pent up, he still was one to make groundbreaking love and not copulate like animals. He did slip a few times however, thrusting harder as he lost a bit of control the more Rook tightened and gushed around him.

Tears wet her eyelashes from how good it all felt, the sensations heightened by the praises Emmrich’s velvet tongue kept drowning her in. He breathily told her about the marvelous display she offered, akin to a nymph straight from an Orlesian painting; a perfect portrayal of a godess of pleasure and lushness. He fed her poetry as sweet as honey while ravishing her with impossibly accurate assaults of her most sensitive places, reaching impossibly deep in this position.

Rook left herself get lost in the pleasure he offered, and soon, as he told her he would hold her like this forever, make love to her endlessly, she choked on trying to tell him how much she loved him, whimpering instead while clenching down on him like a vice, coming around him in a raw display of bliss, tears of ecstasy rolling down her cheeks.

Gradually, Emmrich slowed down until his hips came to a stop. He reclined a little and pressed a few amourous kisses on Rook’s wet cheeks.

Rook’s chest was still rising and falling rapidly when she regained the ability the think properly. Her previously hazy eyes found Emmrich’s warm brown ones.

“I love you” She whispered in a laboured breath as if it was the most important and fitting conclusion to this exchange.

Emmrich chuckled, amused and proud of himself for rendering Rook almost speechless “I love you too dearest”

He released her trembling legs so she could get them around his waist again. She hugged him tight while he held her by two hands under her backside, gently rocking her until she regained her footing.

After a while, Rook perked up, blinking away the haze in her mind only to realize something. She looked between them, where he was still hard against her. “You didn’t-” She started, looking to Emmrich. “What about you?” She asked, dejected. She wanted this to be about him and it ended up being about her again.

Emmrich’s chuckle was low and pleasing to her ears. “I believe I ought to prolonge the effort for the exercise to truly be efficient on burning calories.” He said, a mysterious smile on his thin lips. “A ratio of three to one should suffice for today don’t you think?”

Rook blinked owlishly. She had no clue what he was talking about.

Emmrich let her think about it, amused by her airheaded state. He took a step back, then turned and walked to their bed where he carefully dropped Rook on her backside on the silken covers.

“What ratio are we talking about?” Rook asked as Emmrich caught her leg by the ankle and brought it to his lips for a tender kiss to her malleolus.

“Orgasms of course darling. One for me after three for you” Emmrich replied like it was the most obvious of things. His assertive brown gaze pinned Rook down, making her feel like a meal on display. “If you’d be kind enough to help me keep on exercising of course” He added lowly, in that tone that made her wet without being touched.

Rook inhaled sharply, feeling herself ready to go again. She couldn’t possibly refuse such an offer.

“Well, I did say I’d help…”