#but it would be amazing for my career and potentially would come with a nice pay raise and I wouldn’t have a direct supervisor anymore

[vvitchering]

I have an interview for a potentially lifestyle changing job tomorrow and I am going to vibrate out of this dimension with the amount of anxiety I am experiencing over it. If you have any to spare, good vibes would be intensely appreciated. Or advice on how to nail a corporate interview. I could use that too.

[vexxandra]

25 predictions for 2025 (pick-a-card reading)

happy new year sillies <3 01-01-2025 ☆

disclaimer: all of my readings are just for fun, you write your own story every day of your life, dont let me tell you how to live it

pile 1 > pile 2 pile 3 > pile 4

pile 1

biggest theme: change

reflexion and redirection are major elements of the new year

breaking free of past shackles : discarding old things

miracle year, a lot of wonderful things are coming

be selfish. you are in charge of your own happiness

you will learn to love yourself this year

fulfilling year especially in terms of career or academics. make sure to properly prepare in order to gain an edge over others

early bird gets the worm mentality

"winter arc" mindset the whole year. "lock in"

first six months will be very busy, you'll focus on yourself and not have the time for romance

learning how to collaborate with others

big lesson: learning how to work through burnout

august 2025 will be a very happy month for you

potential summer fling, will reginite flames you didn't know you had

some kind of soul fulfillment, could potentially be romantic or personal

imbalanced feminine energy, learning to reconnect with your divine feminine

a turbulent period will occur (im hearing mercury retrograde)

last half of the year might be grey

sleepy energy, taking things slower

make sure to rest, dont push yourself to move when sluggy

you're going to end the year with a nice energy. i see you surrounded by lots of family, friends and people you hold dear

if last year did not feel chrismassy, dont worry, because this year will

an extra message about children and new families. pregancy within you or another may occur

releasing all anxieties caused by this year, and a lot of reflexion

overall a pretty good year, some guidance i might give would be to not push yourself over the edge, and try not to drink too much caffiene <3

pile 2

biggest theme: self love

i get the feeling you've lost someone very important this year, most likely a break up, but you still have feelings for them

disillusionment and prioritizing yourself are big themes for this year

you're going to recognize that this person was pretty toxic and will take them off of their pedestal

learning how to fall in love again, with yourself and with life

reconnecting with your femininity

a lot of themes about toxicity and distancing yourself from people that don't have your best interests at heart

crown chakra healing by taking one day at a time (a LOT of light purple imagery in this reading)

very tumultuous first few months of the year, you'll feel like your life is flipping upside down and rightside up for a while

reconnecting with your spiritual guides and your spirituality/religion will bring you peace

if you're not religious, exploring some concepts may occupy your time

potential new romantic interest, but you must fall in love with yourself first

advice i can give would be to start something new, and to spend a lot of time by yourself. take yourself on dates and spend time with loved ones

sleep is very important this year, maybe consider starting a dream journal

i feel like most of you will get into some kind of artsy hobby this year. this can be anything from visual to musical to physical, but i can see it becoming a big passion

learning how to be more flexible in your thoughts and actions is a big lesson

springtime (particularly may) will be an amazing period

indie movie life in the spring, it'll feel like your life is straight out of a book

productivity, creativity, and happiness will be at an all-time high

you'll meet so many new people during this time, and im seeing some travelling too

child-like energy, almost like a giddy joy

make sure to not forget your responsabilities, i can see that you might be too caught up in your excitement and forget to balance work and play

overall very good year. it might not feel like it right now, but things are guarenteed to get better <3

some guidance i would give would be to reflect on your past, but never to dwell in it

pile 3

biggest theme: new beginnings and hope

amazing potential, i can see you're carrying something precious from 2024, and wanting it to grow in the new year

it will, but be sure to wait for the right time and approach it with dedication, consistency and care

strong foundations are laid, but be sure to not be reckless

good communication and problem resolving skills are going to be very important this year

flexibility and detachment are going to be vital too, dont try to control situations and dictate outcomes

forgive others for their mistakes but be sure to be assertive too

for those in a romantic relationship: this relationship will last a long time <3

messages about changing your identity, there will be a time when you dont recognize yourself, take some time to reconnect with your inner values

"lucky girl syndrome" mindset. you'll be attracting so many blessings this year

abundance really is yours this year, the cards are showing so many blessings coming your way

affirm to yourself that you have everything you desire, and it will appear

summertime will be an extremely happy period for you. i see a lot of happy memories being made, and a lot of productivity as well

the end of summer and fall might be when things slow down a little, i see a little more uncertainty and anxiety, but it will all pass

big emphasis on relationships this year, but mostly romantic

for those currently in a relationship, here is confirmation that your person is a soulmate and will be in your life long-term

for the singles out there, you'll soon meet an amazing person (timeframe: june or july)

in terms of academics and career, your year will be pretty tame

there will be important decisions to make, and that might stress you out, but the outcome will be good

bottom line: the ending of this year will be good, and there's nothing you can do to change that

important lessons you will need to learn will be to think things through before acting upon them, hanging with people you feel truly appreciate you, and walking away when you feel they don't

appearances may be deceiving, make sure the people you surround yourself with have your best interests at heart

do not compare yourself with others, this year will hammer in that lesson time and time again

overall a very good year, some guidance i would give would be to guard your heart from people with negative intentions. there are snakes and backstabbers everywhere, keep yourself safe <3

pile 4

biggest theme: self-improvement

this year you'll return to your roots, fully shedding your old life to try and reconnect with your innermost values

reassess what works for you and what doesn't, i sense a lot of toxcitity in your life

this year you'll develop many new relationships with many new people

these relationships will provide interpersonal insight: remember that you are who you surround yourself with

this year, you'll practice setting boundaries

its never aggressive to be assertive, and those who matter won't mind

despite the heavy focus on new relationships, prioritize yourself

going on walks, meditating, journalling and going on solo dates are all amazing ways to start to feel comfortable alone

this year will be full of endings, dont resist it, embrace it

change isn't inherently bad, just like how difference isn't inherently bad

very financially stable year, you'll be more open to taking career risks

if there were any financial struggles in the past year, take comfort in knowing there will be little to nothing of the sort in the future

be careful to not be boastful about your finances though, as its better to succeed in silence

you create your own happiness, you are the main character, stop relying on others to save you

this year, you'll stop seeking others validation and look inside of yourself to find what you've been searching for in others

you'll be stepping into a bad bitch energy this year, one that feels comfortable being alone or with others

strong leadership is something you'll be developping this year, as well as strong manifestation skills

you want it, you're going to get it!!

go after all of your goals this year, hesitance will do you no good

i can see that at the end of the year, you'll emerge a totally different person

you'll be more confident, self-assured and more joyful (i sense that autumn is an important time period)

overall, this year will be a fresh chapter in your life

you'll shed the old you, bad habits, and negative aspects to make way for a life and personality that's authentically you

some advice i would give would be to not be afraid to stand apart, dont worry about the opinions of others

speak of success, and it will come to you <3

[erodasfishtacos]

The Body Factory (sexclubowner!h)

+

Hellloooo!

It’s been a long while since I posted here. I am still going strong on patreon with 4-5 one shots a month with anywhere from 8 to 14k words usually (sometimes more) + blurbs. I decided to released one of my new tropes, just part one on here and if it sounds good maybe consider joining for $3USD a month to read more parts of this and many others coming up!!!

prompt: yn doesn’t feel fufilled in her relationship and so her fiancé, Arthur, comes up with an idea to help but it doesnt turn out as either of them expected aka sex club owner!h

word count: 8k

warnings: under-negotiation, power play, mean h, choking, safeword, cheating but not really yet

🛑 there is a scene that could potentially be triggering so i am going to put a brief summary at the end of the fic if you’d like to check whether it’s a appropriate read for yourself. 🛑

Author’s Note: I have had this idea on my mind for months and have been so extremely excited to share it with you. It has really really been inspiring to me as I don’t have a trope like this. I hope you enjoy.

++

Arthur was nice.

Arthur was a safe choice.

It’s why when YN’s father introduced them, it didn’t really seem like an option to turn down the invitation to go out to dinner at the swankiest restaurant in town.

The date had been so incredibly unexciting that YN had no doubt that he would not ask for a second one.

They had nothing in common, the space was often filled with an awkward silence, and averted gazes to the walls or out the window next to their seating.

Arthur was nice.

Arthur was polite, he held the door and paid for the bill before walking her to her car with the chaste kiss to her cheek.

It absolutely boggled her mind when her father informed her the next day that Arthur had told her that he had an amazing time and was going to ask her for a second date in the next upcoming days.

YN hated the mere idea of disappointing her parents, she had already let them down enough with her career choice not to join the family business

:readmore:

instead becoming neonatal nurse, despite that being a massive accomplishment, it wasn’t praised because she didn’t go to be a lawyer like both her mother and father.

It felt like most of the time she was on thin ice with her parents because of her education and career choice, even down to the car she drove (they thought it was too sporty and not practical enough) which left her in a precarious position.

She relied on them for help with her student loans.

YN was still trying to get her feet on the ground with her apartment landlord just bumping up her rent by nearly five-hundred pounds, her car note, among all the other things that came with being an adult that she wasn’t financially capable of managing yet.

Her parents agreed to pay for her school loans.

However, it came with silet threat of staying in their good gracious or they would cut her off at any moment, they had threatened it enough when she got into nursing school and informed them that she would be attending, she must have heard them threaten her inheritance half a million times.

Arthur was her ticket back into her parent’s limelight.

He was fresh out of law school but he was incredibly intelligent, good at what he did, and had multiple firms vying for him to join their legal council but he had chosen YN’s family’s business because of their well-known reputation.

Arthur came from old money, which had given him an extremely privileged life and a headstart into success as soon as he was born.

He was the great-grandson of an oil tycoon whom he had reaped the benefits ever since.

The second date happened, then the third, then the fourth.

No spark.

No chemistry.

Atleast on YN’s end because Arthur seemed happy as a clam in their relationship, he praised YN to anyone who would listen, and was consistently bragging about their life to anyone that would listen to him.

He was nice to her.

He remembered important dates, brought her flowers to work, and had dinner made when she walked in the door on nights that she worked late shifts and he got home before her.

Time passes and they celebrate their first year anniversary, then their second, then their third.

On the fourth was when he got down on one knee and professed his love to her in front of all their family and friends on Christmas Day at an extravagant party at his parent’s estate.

The diamond ring that he slid onto her finger was ridiculous, too big to not just be flaunting wealth, and it wasn’t a style that she liked but she lied and told him that she loved it.

There was an emptiness in her chest when he proposed, she was teary-eyed but she couldn’t determine whether it was from happiness or dread that she was going to spend the rest of her life with the man in front of her.

It wasn’t his fault in the slightest.

Arthur was just Arthur.

He lacked depth, there was nothing behind his twinkling brown eyes beside law, money, and judgement.

Arthur treated her nicely consistently, they barely ever fought, and he never raised his voice at her.

When he got frustrated, he just got an exasperated tone and took time to himself in his office until he had calmed down enough to talk.

But that was once in a blue moon.

They’ve never had a blow-out because he was so agreeable and accommodating.

That’s exactly what was missing from their relationship.

YN didn’t crave toxicity, not one bit, she wanted a healthy relationship with positive communication, understanding, and all the things that make that up.

YN did crave excitement, humor, sexual tension, and the type of relationship that kept her on her toes, got her adrenaline pumping and making her stomach turn in nervous knots because she didn’t always know what to expect out of her partner.

Arthur was as predictable as a clock, had no spontaneity up his sleeve, and his sense of humor was nonexistent.

YN had a partner that she’d been with in college named Klein.

He wasn’t the love of her life, not by a long shot, but he had been wild, on the edge of insane half-of-the-time, and always kept their relationship exciting.

He would show up at her part-time cafe job, with a fake excuse to her boss about a death in his family, and he needed her support.

When YN would walk out to his motorcycle with him, concerned about his grandmother’s death, he would only smile at her, inform her that his grandmother has been dead for fifteen years, and that he was going to take her on a hike to see a waterfall she’d mentioned wanting to see once in passing.

But then there was their sex life, it was phenomenal and unlike the few half-hapzard experience she had before him.

He was confident, dominant, and introduced her to things that she used to not even have the nerve to say out loud let alone do.

It was him who introduced her to BDSM and they explored it for nearly two and a half years of their relationship.

YN did research while they were together and after the fact, she had even attended a few virtual training sessions to learn about correct techniques, safety precautions, and learning the dynamic of power play which engrossed her to no end.

However, when Klein requested they open their relationship, that had been such an unexpected turn-off that she no longer felt the connection that was there before.

The end of the relationship was amicable, they were still friends on social media and liked each others posts but it was at that point they realized they wanted different things and they couldn’t provide that to one another.

Where Klein wanted flexibility, uncertainty, and fluidity.

YN wanted regimen, structured, and a deep sense of connection with one person.

She did not want multiple doms nor did she want her dom to have multiple submissives.

She wanted all the attention on her, her dom would be absolutely captivated by her and be so connected to her physically, mentally, spiritually that they only want her.

Her ideal dom would never mention sharing.

Which isn’t to shame it because it was more common than not to have an open relationship, partner sharing, and swapping.

YN loved the idea of becoming comfortable with someone enough that she could be a brat which she wasn’t an easy submissive she had come to learn.

Her dominant had to work for her submission, sometimes she crumbled quickly and other times it took multiple punishments until the smirk was wiped from her face and replaced with tears on her puffy cheeks from the pinpricks of pain.

After Klein, she had gone on a few dates, some she even hooked up with but she never clicked enough with them to talk about anything like that.

And so she wrapped it up into a nice, neat box and tucked it into the back of her mind because she would find the right partner who would be compatible sexually with her.

Right?

Arthur and her had no sexual chemistry.

Arthur was just as polite in the bedroom as he was outside of it, he never put her in a unique position, and preferred to rotate between the missionary and doggy style.

He would occasionally go down on her but he didn’t know what he was doing so it didn’t feel like much of anything as most of the time he couldn’t even locate her clit.

Which meant fingering was out of the question because he didn’t even know the g-spot existed.

Anytime she managed to orgasm, it was from her own hand, getting herself off because she was past the point of asking him to try to do it.

Arthur did not have a high sex drive and YN felt guilty for being thankful for it.

He wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was trying, and it was so unsatisfying that YN felt like her skin itched sometimes because she hadn’t realized until Arthur how much she craved sexual intimacy with her significant other.

Again, Arthur initiated once a week, sometimes twice or sometimes not for a few weeks when his work is really busy.

YN was six years into a relationship of unfilled desire, disconnect, and a lack of satisfaction which she would have never seen for herself at only being twenty-nine years old.

The wedding was set for fourteen months away, at a vineyard on the coast of Italy.

It was decided by everyone but her as with most things she felt like nowadays.

++

YN had been scrolling through a blog post when something caught her eye.

It was written by a female who had a similar lack of connection with her partner in the bedroom but wanted more.

The writer had described that as soon as she asked if they could experiment with BDSM that their relationship had completely shifted, they were more in love than ever, and their sex life was more amazing than it had been in nearly a decade.

It was the motivation that YN needed to have the conversation with Arthur, with the hope that it would ignite a flame that had yet to be struck between the two of them.

YN loved Arthur, she wanted to be in love with him but she couldn’t honestly say she was at this point in their relationship.

Arthur had been surprised by the conversation, over dinner one night, if the way he sputtered red wine onto his crisp white button-up was an indicator.

His eyes had gone wide in a look of almost horror and he cleared his throat a handful of times while they discussed it in more detail.

“I just feel like it would be something fun to try out,” YN tries to keep it casual, to not let on to how much she desired this or knew that she would already love it.

“Erm, yeah. I would be open to it,” Arthur had agreed sheepishly, putting down his fork and knife.

“No, I do not want you to feel pressured at all! I just -” YN begins to try to soothe because she had not meant to get such a reaction of concern more than lust out of her fiance.

He chuckles kindly, smiling at her as he reaches across the table to hold her hand, “We can try it, if that’s what you want. I am open to whatever will make you happy, sweetie pie.”

Sweetie pie….

YN tried not to blatantly cringe every time he called her that.

++

It did not work out.

They did not even get a few minutes into foreplay when Arthur backed out, saying that he just didn’t feel like he knew what to do, and that he’d prefer if they just did their normal thing.

YN agreed, trying to swallow the disappointed lump in her throat because she didn’t want to guilt him in to trying anything he wasn’t into.

They didn’t discuss it again after that for a long while.

++

Arthur wasn’t blind to the shift after that night.

He now knew that he was not satisfying a need that YN desired and she had just seemed more subdued since he had called it off but was trying to hide it because he knew that she wasn’t trying to make him feel bad about not wanting it.

It had been on his mind though.

++

“A sex club?” YN’s eyes nearly buldge from her sockets, puting down her glass of water and ignoring the splashes it leaves on her hand because what had Arthur just recommended they try?

“Yes. A BDSM club or a kink club they call it. Maybe if I see other people doing it or we get into the right atmosphere, it will work better. At least off the start?” Arthur seems just as nervous as her, he hadn’t touched his food.

“And…I just…” YN was at a loss for words because this is just the most unexpected turn of events.

“Maybe I can learn from others. Really get good at it for you, you know?” He suggests, his eyes looking anywhere but at hers.

“Yeah, yeah let’s do it.”

++

The Body Factory was the club that Arthur had decided after doing his research.

He needed somewhere secretive, exclusive, and with iron-clad NDA’s so that no one could use this against him in his profession which was fair enough.

That’s where The Body Factor came into play.

There were guidelines to a membership:

You must make over a hundred-and-fifty thousand pounds a year.

You were sign and resign an NDA every three months.

A deposit of ten thousand pounds, it will not be refunded if any rules or regulations are broken.

You will send in health screenings every two months, proof of birth control (if female), and a background check.

You may not belong to any other clubs during the time of your membership at The Body Factory.

YN was quite shocked that Arthur had dished out that amount of money on the deposit for something that they weren’t sure that they were going to like nor want to continue to visit even though the membership spans for a year at a time.

“If we go, hate it, and decide to never go back, just consider it a really expensive date night,” Arthur had assured her with a chuckle, she knew of his wealth but even this seemed a bit like frivolous spending but little did she know it was just his desperation to make her happy.

++

The club was in the packing district of all places, tucked back in between massive factories, some that were still open and operating, others that had been abandoned for years now.

It was actually in an old clothing factory that had been renovated to resemble any other high-end club, from the inside there would be no way that anyone could even tell except for the incredibly high ceilings at some points.

However, the location in the city and of building choice gave a lot of privacy of entering and exiting, it wasn’t advertised nor did it have any sign indicating of their presence.

It was a maze of alleyways until the entrance appeared, a dingy door that was rusted and gave no indication of what was inside, someone walking past would have never looked twice or thought anything of the building nor the entrance.

Everything was matte black, dark, and dimmed.

There were occasional deep emerald green accents but everything was sleek, modern, and simple but in the most elegant way as they walked in.

YN’s heart was in her throat.

Where people going to be fucking right when they walk in?

Or people being led around on leashes right off the bat?

Arthur may pass out.

However, there’s a front desk, almost like at an office with a woman dressed in a incredibly fitted sleek black dress with smooth, curled hair, and makeup like it was done by a professional, she had to be a model because she was gorgeous as she smiled widely and checked them in.

They had to show their licenses, hand over physical copies of their screenings, NDA’s even though they had to sign them virtually too.

There were two security guards in black suits with earpieces standing by large, heavy dark oak doors with their hands crossed in front of them.

This seemed like a movie or just not real with how sophisticated this whole process was.

“Enjoy,” Penelope, the receptionist had chirped with the whitest, most perfect smile she’d ever seen.

Arthur seemed a bit awestruck for a moment and YN couldn’t even fault him for it.

The two guards move aside to open the doors, nodding for them to go in before closing them firmly behind them.

YN finds herself reaching for Arthur’s hand, nervous and shaky with new experience anxiety and adrenaline that she was finally getting back into what she wanted even more so.

There were people mingling, sipping on drinks, and all fully clothed.

It wasn’t until Arthur informed her, “Play starts at ten, the first hour is to introduce, mingle, meet.”

Ah, that makes sense.

It almost builds the tension, YN feels like she can taste it on the tip of her tongue.

They walk over to the bar, another beautiful women greets them right away, laying a napkin down in front of both of them, “Newbies?”

“Yes,” Arthur nods, pointing to himself first, “I’m Arthur, this is YN, my fiance.”

The bartender quirks an eyebrow as she not-so-subtly scans them, “Nice to meet you two. I’m Raven. I bartend Friday through Sunday here. What are you drinking?”

“A moscow mule,” YN asks, maybe some alcohol will loosen her nerves.

“It’s a dry club, babe,” Raven smiles patiently as her long fingernails click against the smooth surface.

“Oh,” YN replies in surprise, looking behind her at the shelves only to see syrups for flavoring but no actual liquor bottles or draft taps to be seen, “A sprite?”

“Water, please,” Arthur adds as he rubs YN’s thigh, squeezing it in reassurance, “I forgot to tell you. No alcohol here. Everybody needs to be sober when playing.”

“That makes sense,” YN hums in agreement, never having actually thought about it much, but it could definitely get cloudy on consent when alcohol was being consumed in regards to playing which was a dangerous and unsafe mixture.

They sit, observed for a few minutes before a few people begin to flock towards them, greeting them and asking surface level questions until there’s a deep, almost eerie chime that echoes for a long moment through the club over the soft jazz.

It was signifying that the clock had struck ten.

Everyone quickly wraps up their conversations before moving to different areas of the rooms, some disappearing down hallways.

The atmosphere had changed significantly in a very quick spurt of time as people started undressing, kissing, moving as if they’d just gotten permission.

There was a couple of the couch across the room that Athur and YN were observing from their barstools.

The two started out slow, sensual, like any normal couple behind close doors but when the woman knots her hair into her partner’s hair and demands his mouth move lower, he obliges and Arthur gasps softly at the roughness displayed.

YN’s been aroused for the last five minutes of watching them but doesn’t make an effort to act on it, not yet atleast, and once the couple move so that the man is laying on the couch, the woman kneeling over his face, it changes her vantage point but it catches on something else.

In the corner, further back into the room, there was a man sitting in the corner where there was barely any lighting, dim and his goal was to obviously stay in the background.

No one was approaching him nor was he interacting with anyone else.

YN knew there was a no phone policy but this man was sat, scrolling boredly through his phone and only occasionally glancing up to observe the people in action around him before eyes dart back down like it wasn’t entertaining at all.

He wasn’t aroused, at least from what YN could see, and he was in a tight, well-fitted suit but his dress shirt was barely buttoned, open enough to show the definition of his pectoral muscles, the sharpness of his collarbones, and a variety of darkly inked tattoos.

He was fucking beautiful.

YN realizes she oogling him but can get away with it because it appears to Arthur that she’s still watching the couple like he is.

However, when the man looks up after a few moments once again, his eyes are instantly locked on YN.

She can’t tell what color they are from here but she knows they’re light, twinkling under the barely there light of a sconce on the wall and it’s smouldering as he doesn’t blink nor waver with embarrassment of being caught staring at her.

YN quickly diverted her eyes back to the couple, her heart was pounding, and a sense of thrill shot up her spine even though it was inappropriate.

She wasn’t here for new partners.

She was here to learn and explore with her own.

YN tries to play it casual when Raven refills the drink she nervously chugged, “Why does that guy have his phone?”

Raven’s eyes darted to the man before grinning, “That’s Harry. He’s the owner, my boss. He supervises the free play.”

“Free play?”

“Out in the common area, it’s considered free play. If you claim a room, you are in private play with whatever partners you bring back there. Harry just makes sure everything stays safe and consensual out here. He gets bored though and plays Candy Crush on his phone.”

YN cracks her own smile at that, trying to imagine the man trying to get rid of sugary sweets and getting frustrated when he loses a round.

“Does he not play?” Arthur asks curiously, now his attention has changed to Harry as well.

“Not often,” Raven informs them, leaning her elbow on the counter, “I can’t remember the last time he did. I’d say at least seven years ago, at least in the free play but he doesn’t reserve rooms or anything. He made it clear that he doesn’t find at least any of the current members interesting enough to engage with.”

“That’s interesting, considering he must have an interest in it, if this is his club,” Arthur replies to Raven before turning back to the scene of the couple, another member had joined the couple and was currently giving the male some startling rough looking bruised kisses and bites to his stomach and thighs.

Arthur was getting aroused by the look and feel of it, he reached over and brazenly took her hand, and led her to his groin where he was hard in his trousers, encouraging her to palm over him which she did as she tried to get into it.

This…This atmosphere, these people, they excited her.

Arthur still did not.

They manage to get to a couch, Arthur appears to be getting so turned on that foreplay isn’t in his realm of ideas because he’s hiking up YN’s dress around her hips and positioning her on top of him which is a new position (in all six years they’ve never done cowgirl) but still, her arousal is barely boiling above surface level.

YN licks her palm, reaching down to help moisten herself because Arthur was not doing anything to spark her to get wet.

It was actually making her more distressed that despite the scenario, she still didn’t feel the connection to her fiancé.

When she slides down, it’s fine, he was an average size so even without much lubrication, it didn’t feel like a stretch or burn when she started to move her hips but it wasn’t as pleasant as if she was sopping, dripping down her thighs.

Arthur glances to the side at one point, noticing that the male from the throuple was now pounding into the original partner with his had tight around her throat, pushing her further into the couch without mercy as she tried to whine through stutter breaths.

YN felt like she was being watched the entire time, which of course she was being watched by other members but it felt different, when she blinks around and notices that Harry has his gaze honed in on her with a twisted scowl of almost disapproval, it confuses her.

However, she’s brought back into the moment when Arthur pants out, “Can- I want to try that.”

When YN follows his gaze, he’s referring to the choking, and yeah, maybe that will light that match.

“Okay, yeah,” YN agrees as she brushes her hair off of her shoulders, wishing he would have taken this dress off of her instead of shoving it upwards where it felt confining.

Arthur smiles at her, leaning up to give her a chaste kiss which didn’t match their situation whatsoever that they were in at the moment.

YN was feeling anxious about the judgment other members might put onto them but not because she cared that people watched but because she knew Arthur and her were nowhere nearly as fluid, practiced, or elegant as the other members whom seemed to just melt into one another easily.

Arthur had never tried it before but his hand came up to her throat, he’s getting close to his own release which means that he’s not as focused, eyes getting a glazed over appearance.

YN soon realizes that he has no idea what he’s doing as he begins to cut off her airway by cupping her throat in the center instead of at the sides.

It hurts, she can’t breathe but not the way that feels tingly, excited, it feels like he could quite possibly suffocate her because of his carelessness.

They had talked about proper methods and he clearly hadn’t retained that information.

A few black dots begin to dance across her line of vision and her body starts to trigger a flight or fight response which she wants to use her safe word but she can’t speak.

YN takes to dig her nails into his hand but he doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not out of lust.

A true fear begins to take hold that something horrible will happen to her in less than a minute.

He’s truly going to injure her.

YN is in a full-fledged panic induced state.

Then suddenly, without warning, a strong arm is being wrapped around her middle and a big, ring-clad hand grips Arthur where it was around her neck so hard he yelps in pain and releases his grip.

The person is physically lifting YN off of Arthur’s lap, trying to steady her on her feet but they feel like jello and she feels light-headed, the room wouldn’t stop spinning.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” The person’s voice is deep, raspy, and incredibly pissed off, “What the fuck is your problem?”

YN can’t even bring herself to look at Arthur right now, her full support into Harry’s side as she notices the two securities guards walking in.

“C’mon, let me sit you down. You’re okay but I want to check you out, alright? Yeah, c’mon, pet,” He encourages in a much softer tone, gentle and trying to comfort me as she struggles to catch her breath.

It takes a long second to realize that she’s crying, tears streaming down her cheeks, and fuck, she is so embarassed as every other member had stopped playing.

“We’re done for the night. We’ll re-open tomorrow at the normal hours of operation,” Harry announces to the room at large before looking to Raven, “Go close down the private rooms.”

Raven nods, no longer as smiley and bubbling but an expression of concern as she watches what’s going on with YN.

“Hey, darling. Can you tilt your head up?” Harry asks quietly once he sits her down in the same corner that he had been in, away from the group.

YN whines because her neck is aching, she doesn’t want to do anything as the drop in adrenaline has made her more exhausted than she’s felt in a long time.

“I know, I know,” Harry simpers in an unpredictably cooing tone, he taps his thumb on her chin to signal her to tilt it up and she obliges.

Harry prods gently at her neck, focusing on the center where the pressure has been, “Any sharp pains? Anything feel off or wrong like you need to go to the hospital?”

YN shakes her head, a fresh round of tears.

She knew that she wasn’t injured or seriously hurt.

YN felt more traumatized mentally than anything else.

“I need words, want to hear your pretty voice,” Harry orders in a honey sweet tone, eyes hyper-focused on her like they were in the beginning of the night.

His eyes were green.

Close to the accent color of the club.

“I’m okay,” YN manages to speak out, throat dry and scratchy.

Raven appears with a glass of water to hand to Harry before giving them their space again.

YN is about to reach for the glass but Harry is already moving it towards her lips for her, “Drink f’me.”

It’s strangely intimate as he tilts the glass, eyes watching her carefully and a sense of guilt sets in that she likes that Harry is tending to her, giving her his full attention.

“Is this a common occurrence? Between you two?”Harry doesn’t sound as kind anymore, his jaw muscle twitches slightly.

“Um, no. We came here to explore. I’m very much into this world and he isn’t. He’s told me he’s done his research in his free time but -“

“You’re telling me that you’ve never negotiated nor tried something like this and he full fledge tries choking?” Harry interrupts, outraged from where he stands up from squatting in front of her, “Did you ask or plan for that?”

YN shakes her head, a bit embarrassed that she was coming off as an amateur to someone…she felt an attraction to, felt intimidated by, and Arthur had ruined their experience here.

“No. We tried spanking a few times but he backed out. We were just supposed to come here to watch others so he could visual what all this looked like before putting it into action-“

Harry doesn’t let her finish as he storms away from her, his glare set right on Arthur who was sheepishly sitting back at the bar and nursing a drink as Raven talked to him.

YN’s heart rate starts to rise again when Arthur tenses, clearly being chewed out by Harry before her fiancé gets off his barstool and follows the club owners lead down the hallway.

YN rushes to the bar, Raven is already pouring her another sprite, “Calm down. He’s not going to hurt him or anything. They just need to have a discussion on whether or not Harry will revoke his membership.”

It feels ruined and it never even started.

All she can think about is that despite for a short amount of time she was getting what she asked from Arthur, there was still no god damn spark.

After a good half hour, the bar phone rings and Raven answers, murmuring a few words back into the receiver before having up.

“I’m going to take you back to his office now.”

++

Harry’s office was just as luxe, elegant as the rest of the club.

It was tense as soon as she stepped in the room and Raven left, closing the door behind her.

“I’ve decided not to revoke your joint membership after discussion with Arthur. However, there are contingencies if you would like to continue coming here. Are you willing to hear them? Arthur has already agreed to the terms.”

YN nods slowly, voice soft, “Yes.”

Harry keeps his face on her as he speaks, “I do not tolerate what happened here tonight in my club. Arthur has clearly proven that he isn’t educated enough to be able to have free access to the club and free play.”

“If you want to continue membership, Arthur will need to reserve a private room and lessons will be held until he fully grasps the concepts, displays understanding, and can play safely without supervision.”

“Who…Do you have instructors?” YN doesn’t think she wants another man involved in their sex life even in an educational aspect.

“Yes but I will be teaching the lessons,” Harry informs her, calm as ever, “I bring this up because I would need to be hands on, to demonstrate and display certain practice, power play dynamics but that is a lot to ask as I do not know your limits on sharing.”

YN’s speaking before she even realizes it, “Yes. We can do that.”

Harry’s lip quirks slightly before it disappears but it oddly enough seems like a reward.

“We can schedule. I will send the paperwork. I already have your questionnaires about hard limits, likes, dislikes, and willing to try. I want to make this clear, this will be purely educational and there will be no dynamic developing between me and you two.”

YN nods dumbly, at a loss for words because the mere thought of Harry domming her was a lick of a flame that she’d been missing so much.

“I will dom you with instructions interwoven for Arthur. We will try to keep everything minimal as I cannot stress enough that this is not anything but informative on my end to help improve your sex life as a couple.”

++

Three longs weeks pass before their first ‘lesson’.

Arthur voiced excitement about the instruction, never brought up the choking incident again, and never initiated any type of sex during this time either.

Everything was swept under the rug as usual in their relationship.

YN would never admit the fact that she had gotten herself off to the mere idea of Harry domming her because something about him had triggered something carnal, something near feral in her.

It’s more than she had even felt with Klein.

She knew it wouldn’t last forever but she was going to enjoy this to the best of her abilities.

++

YN only had excited nerves going into the night.

Harry had inquired more in the break of time about YN’s experience and was extremely pleased to realize that she wasn’t as much of a novice as he assumed.

Though she hadn’t experienced many partners or relationships within the community, her knowledge was expansive and deep enough to impress him.

Harry had texted her back with a simple message that had her core tingling enough that she had to rub her thighs together.

YN: Thank you for continuously checking in on my comfort and experience regarding these situations. I have many more concerns for Arthur as we’ve already discussed. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

Harry Styles: I do not plan to go easy on you. Unless you specifically want soft play for these experiences. I can be a softer dominant but my main modality is firm, mean, regimented with softer aftercare.

YN: You don’t scare me. ;)

She was already being bratty with him.

It sent a wave of good nerves through her as she waited for a reply to be sent to her inbox.

Harry Styles: It’s interesting that you’ve already started to decide to be bad for me when you don’t even know what I’m capable of, darling.

YN : I’m shaking.

YN: Terrified.

Harry Styles: I wish I could wrap my fingers around your throat right now. Show your fiancé the proper way to choke a god damn brat.

YN could feel herself pooling with arousal.

It felt a bit wrong but she reasoned enough with herself that it was all for the greater good of her relationship with Arthur but deep down she knew that was bullshit.

YN: You’re probably not much better.

Harry Styles: Quite honestly, haven’t worked with such a fucking disobedient bitch in a long time. I cannot wait to break you. A kitten who thinks they’re a big bad tiger.

YN: Fuck you.

Harry Styles: Kitty’s got claws.

Harry Styles: For now…

It felt bordering on inappropriate but YN reasoned again that Harry had made it clear that there isn’t anything happening, it is a strictly professional as a type of situation like this can be.

++

Saturday has come and YN wakes up to a text.

Harry Styles: Better wear something cute enough that I find you interesting enough to play with. Even if it’s just to teach.

YN rereads the message quite a few times and why is he so good at getting under her skin and she doesn’t even know him yet but it’s like he knows exactly how to wind her up.

YN: Black dress with tights.

Harry Styles: It’s good to know that you’re just another basic bitch.

YN: What will you be wearing then?

Harry Styles: That’s none of your fucking business. I call the shots, kitty. Not you.

YN: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Harry Styles: Good to know. Five spanks for the five emojis. Would you like to keep going?

She can’t even help herself

YN: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Harry Styles: Noted.

YN wants to reply, knowing he’s probably waiting but a tiny sliver of guilt starts to creep in when she thinks about Arthur because though she’s trying to convince herself this is perfectly fine.

It’s not.

Not with the emotions it makes her feel.

She hasn’t felt them in so long.

It scares her.

“Sweetie pie, are you having second thoughts? Should be getting ready,” Arthur steps out of the walk-in closet, adjusting the sleeve of his button up.

“No!” YN replies much too quickly, her tone high pitch, “Um, I lost track of time. I’ll get ready now.”

“Okay, I’m excited for this new experience with you,” He smiles sweetly, stepping over to press a kiss to her forehead.

It’s affectionate, loving, and she’s still thinking of other things than her fiancé.

++

YN decides on a black wide leg trouser with a corseted bodysuit that gave her tits the perfect push-up, she’s spray a very thin most of body glitter on her chest, she knew it would sparkle in the dim lighting.

She considered wearing the dress and tights to spite him but whatever, she’d be less easy access for him.

++

Arthur held her hand tightly as they entered The Body Factory.

YN was already searching for Harry, barely waving to Raven as Arthur leads them over but she doesn’t want a drink, she wants to play.

However her fiancé guide her to a stool, ordering for both of them as Raven has a look of curiosity as she slides them in front of him.

“Does he come out and get us?” Arthur asks Raven, looking around he doesn’t see him either.

Raven bites her lip, shaking her head with a chuckle, “No, I take you to your reserved room when ten hits.”

“What is it?” YN asks, unable to read what is going on the bartender's mind.

This conversation didn’t seem particularly funny.

“Nothing really. Harry just hasn’t offered private lessons for at least eight or nine years. Normally when couples have an incident like you did, Harry revoked their memberships without a second thought,” Raven informs them as she picks at a spot on the smooth surface of the bar absentmindedly.

“Why us?” YN wonders out loud, why after all that time did he make an exception.

“I wish I knew,” The bartender shrugs neutrally.

++

The deep chime rings out about forty-five minutes later.

YN cannot decipher whether she wants to throw up or jump up and down with excitement.

Especially when Raven guides them down a long hallway, then into another corridor until they reach a door with a sign that warns, “No members past this point. Private access only.”

“Um-“ Arthur goes to point out the sign, he was a rule follower to his core.

“It’s Harry’s private playroom that members can’t use but again, this is special circumstances,” Raven’s voice is hushed as she leads them into a surprisingly minimal room.

There were cabinets built sleekly into the walls where all toys and accessories must be held, a matte black.

Everything matched but there was a bigger prominence of the green accents that were more subtle in the main areas.

The play bench hardware matches everything else but the cushion is a luxe emerald.

The bed was…unlike anything she had ever seen.

It was massive but fit well in the spacious room.

High posts on all four corners with subtle hooks to place restraints in.

The mattress looked fluffy and giving, it looked as if the sheets were a black silk but the duvet was a very muted pattern of black and green diamonds.

YN was in love with space.

It was so much more than she was expecting.

“Holy shit,” Arthur gapes at the elegance, clearly he had been expecting something different too.

“Okay, when Harry comes in, he will already be in the dom headspace and so he wants me to give you reminders. Harry will respect your hard limits as he’s reviewed them before the session. You have received a list of his so please do the same.”

“Just as you can safeword out at any time without consequences, Harry can as well. He will use the same ‘red’ if need be and will check your colors throughout to ensure safe play.”

“For this first lesson, Arthur you will sit and observe. Harry will display a safe, typical scene of play to understand what that looks like with whatever kind of submissive YN is. You may also use your safeword at any time to stop the play.”

YN swallows because would he allow that?

Surprisingly, Arthur’s face is still clear and happy as he starts to walk over to an overstuffed chair in the corner of the room and smiles at YN, “Can’t wait.”

YN raises a shocked eyebrow at his willingness but nods at Raven to show she understands.

++

They’re silent as they wait for Harry.

She wasn’t given instruction and because she was a bit nervous, she perched herself on Arthur’s lap as he rubbed her thigh and kissed her shoulder blades occasionally.

Then there’s a shuffle outside the door, the door knob twisting and the door opening.

Harry looked ethereal.

He wasn’t wearing a tailored suit like before but leather boots with a bit of a heel, form-fitting jeans that make his lean quads look biteable, and a plain black shirt.

His arms had even more beautiful ink than YN realized.

After Harry closes the door, his eyes lock on hers, not even acknowledging her fiancé’s presence.

“Stand up,” Harry orders loudly, a bit startling.

YN obeys instantly, her heart was pounding in her eardrums like waves of the choppy ocean.

A cruel smirk tilts on his lips when he scans her up and down.

“Did I strike a nerve, pet? This isn’t a black dress and tights. Are you already starting off so insecure? And you think you can handle me. What a cute, pathetic little kitten,” His voice is venomous, steady, and she’s clinging onto every word.

Arthur’s clearly confused but stays silent.

“I’m not pathetic,” YN argues shakily, it felt dangerous to get bratty so soon but it was her submissive profile and character, it came naturally.

Harry quirks a brow, “Sir.”

YN gives him her own confused look.

“I’m not pathetic, sir. Every time you speak, try again.”

“I’m not pathetic,” YN bleats easily, a flutter of her eyelashes.

Harry smiles like a goddamn wolf.

“Oh, you’re not? Let’s test that theory,” Harry draws as he takes a few steps backwards, towards the door, “Come to me.”

YN stands up, on wobbly legs, and begins to but is stopped in her tracks by his hard voice.

“Hands and knees. Crawl for me, I want to show your fiancé how pathetic you are for me,” Harry has a humor, an evil sense of it.

YN drops to her hands and knees, nearly panting already, and begins to move.

++

summary of triggering scene: YN’s fiance chokes her and though it’s completely consensual he doesn’t know what he’s doing and almost hurts her. YN cannot safeword out at the time but harry stops the scene.

[adumbratrapedme]

streamer!kenma x reader - secret relationship

Synopsis. kenma, in the peak of his career neglected y/n, but dont worry! our pudding head knows exactly how to fix things!

wc. 2,9k words | genre. angst to fluff | cw/tags. streamer!kenma x reader, angst to fluff, post time skip, neglect.

important ! Please if the content was of ur enjoyment dont doubt following me, liking and sharing ;D! maybe i'll make this a little series of streamer!kenma and his girlfriend lives, i have nothing else to say so, enojey! !

Kozume Kenma, or "kodzuken" to his online legion, had finally reached the apex of his streaming career. Years of relentless grinding had paid off, but success often comes with a price. Especially for a relationship... and a sometimes insecure girlfriend.

Y/N, once the undisputed star of Kenma's social media and life, felt a pang of loneliness. She was undeniably happy for her boyfriend, but ever since his rise to influencer status, things had changed. Gone were the days of their selfies plastered across his feeds. Now, his past posts, brimming with her face, were archived – a digital ghost town. Kenma, wary of online scrutiny, decided to keep their relationship private. While Y/N understood the logic, it gnawed at her. Five years together, built on trust and shared experiences, felt invisible to the world. Unknown to Kenma, sleepless nights plagued Y/N.

His phone buzzed incessantly, a constant barrage of love comments, fan messages professing love, and even DMs from other streamers seeking collaboration. Despite knowing Kenma's loyalty, a seed of doubt sprouted – a fear of being overshadowed by his online fame.

Today wasn't any different. Y/N woke to an empty space beside her, the familiar chill a stark contrast to Kenma's usual warmth. He was probably hunched over his computer again, another night sacrificed to the algorithm gods. A pang of sympathy stabbed at her. How could she blame him? Reaching the peak of streaming was his dream, and his excitement over the recent growth was infectious. All she wanted to do was support him, even if it meant sacrificing their mornings together.

Treading softly towards the studio, the faint glow of the monitor spilling into the hallway. Inside, Kenma was indeed sprawled on the worn couch, exhaustion etched on his face. She knelt beside him, her touch feather-light as she ran her fingers through his sleep-tousled hair.

"Ken… sweetheart," she whispered, her voice a gentle nudge. "Why didn't you join me in bed? Your back will hate you later."

Kenma stirred, a low groan escaping his lips. "Just… so tired, Y/N. Almost beat my viewer record last night." A hint of pride snuck into his voice despite the fatigue.

"Amazing, babe! That's fantastic news," Y/N beamed. "But sleep is important too. Come on, let's get you some proper rest. Breakfast is ready, I made your favorite – [insert Kenma's favorite food]."

His response was a mumbled curse, a stark contrast to his usual cheer. A frown tugged at Y/N's lips. Was he annoyed? She knew he was exhausted, but his reaction felt harsher than usual. Maybe she was overthinking it. Taking a deep breath, she nudged him again, this time a little more firmly.

"Up you get, sleepyhead. We can talk more after breakfast."

Moments later, Kenma shuffled out of the studio, a mix of exhaustion and… something else clouding his features. Y/N followed, her smile strained. Breakfast was ready, but the air between them felt thick, a potential storm brewing beneath the surface.

The breakfast was a tense affair. Kenma scrolled through his phone, barely picking at his food. The silence stretched, punctuated only by the clinking of his fork. Finally, Y/N decided to break the ice.

"Hey," she started cautiously, "I was thinking… we haven't really had any quality time together lately. Don't you think it would be nice to… maybe go somewhere tomorrow? Just the two of us?"

Before she could finish her suggestion, Kenma let out a heavy sigh. "Y/N, I can't tomorrow, or today for that matter. I'm swamped. There's this charity stream thing with some new, up-and-coming streamer. My manager practically forced me to do it."

A flicker of disappointment crossed Y/N's face, but she quickly plastered on a smile. "Oh, I see. No worries, I understand completely. You're busy, that's perfectly fine." Her voice held a hint of forced cheerfulness.

A beat of silence hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions.

"Of course I understand," Y/N continued, her voice dropping to a low murmur. Maybe a little too low. "My name isn't Kozume 'Always Understanding' Y/N, after all."

Kenma finally looked up from his phone, his brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean? What are you getting at?"

Y/N's carefully constructed smile faltered. A surge of frustration bubbled within her. "Maybe," she said, her voice tight, "you should consider what being 'Kozume Understanding' actually costs sometimes."

Kenma pushed back from the table, barely touching his breakfast. "Look, I appreciate you trying to be supportive, but I have a lot on my plate right now. I gotta get everything set up for today's stream." He mumbled something about needing more coffee and practically bolted out of the room.

Y/N sat alone at the table, the untouched food mocking her. Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision. Understanding was one thing, but feeling invisible was a whole other story. The air crackled with unspoken resentment, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth.

A few hours had crawled by since the breakfast debacle. Y/N found herself folding warm laundry in the bedroom, the rhythmic whoosh of the dryer a monotonous lullaby. In an attempt to bridge the gap, she turned on the TV, pulling up Kenma's stream. He was just a few rooms away, physically close yet emotionally distant. Tuning in had always been a source of comfort, a way to connect even when they were apart.

But today, the comfort was replaced by a gnawing emptiness. The stream displayed two camera feeds: Kenma on one side, and a girl on the other. The unfamiliar face sent a jolt through Y/N. So, this was the "new streamer" Kenma mentioned. Y/N hadn't expected a girl.

They were playing Minecraft, a stark contrast to the usual high-octane games Kenma gravitated towards. The girl was chirping cheerfully, gathering flowers, while Kenma focused on mining deep underground. A humorless chuckle escaped Y/N's lips. How predictable.

Despite his focus, the chat box buzzed with activity. "Great duo!" "Shipping them so hard!" "You two should collab more often!" The girl, clearly enjoying the attention, punctuated her flower-picking with playful glances towards Kenma and flirtatious comments. He, on the other hand, seemed oblivious, a mix of annoyance and feigned disinterest etched on his features. He muttered a few sarcastic replies, clearly trying to deflect her advances.

But Y/N wasn't convinced. The way the girl preened, the way the chat reacted, it all felt… intrusive. A subtle shift began to gnaw at her. Maybe it wasn't just the lack of quality time that bothered her. Maybe it was the realization that this new reality, this world Kenma inhabited, wasn't one she felt comfortable sharing.

With a decisive click, Y/N shut off the TV. Enough boyfriend content for one day, she thought bitterly. Intellectually, she knew there was nothing wrong with Kenma collaborating with another streamer, especially a girl. Yet, a suffocating tightness constricted her chest.

It wasn't just the girl's undeniable beauty – the cascading hair, the infectious voice, the effortless charm that seemed to captivate the chat. It was the way the internet, that ever-hungry beast, latched onto the situation.

Four hours. That's all it took for the fandom to erupt. Fan art depicting them as a couple flooded Twitter. A dedicated hashtag, #KenmaAndQueen (Queen being the other streamer's username, no doubt), trended at an alarming rate. The internet worked in mysterious ways, Y/N thought, a humorless laugh escaping her lips.

Tears pricked at her eyes as she scrolled through clips people had already made of the stream. The girl's relentless flirting, the forced interactions designed to fuel speculation – it all felt like a cruel parody of their own relationship. Y/N couldn't hold back any longer. Fat tears streamed down her face, blurring the screen.

The last few months of loneliness and neglect had taken their toll. The trickle of tears transformed into a torrent, sobs wracking Y/N's body. The sound was probably louder than she'd intended, echoing through the house.

A few minutes later, Kenma appeared at the bedroom door, his face etched with concern. "Y/N? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Y/N's sobs intensified, her voice barely a whisper. "Kenma," she managed to choke out, "do you like Queen?"

Kenma's brow furrowed in confusion. "Queen? What do you mean?"

"The streamer you were with today," Y/N explained, her voice trembling. "Do you like her? Is she better than me? Prettier? Funnier?"

Her words hung in the air, heavy with insecurity. She felt like a shadow compared to Queen's radiant presence, her own worth diminishing with each passing moment.

Kenma's eyes widened in disbelief. "Y/N, what are you talking about? Queen is just a colleague. I don't like her in that way. And you're the most amazing, beautiful, and intelligent person I know. Don't ever compare yourself to anyone else."

He gently pulled her into a hug, his warmth radiating through her. "I love you, Y/N. More than words can say. You're the only one for me."

Y/N's tears subsided, replaced by a sense of relief. Kenma's words were like a balm to her wounded soul. She nuzzled into his embrace, feeling safe and loved.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice still laced with emotion. "I just felt so insecure watching you with her. The fans, the comments, the whole situation just got to me."

Kenma chuckled softly. "I understand, love. But you have nothing to worry about. You're my everything, and no one could ever replace you."

He held her tighter, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm of her emotions. Y/N felt a surge of gratitude for this man who saw her for who she truly was, insecurities and all.

As they sat in silence, enveloped in each other's embrace, a sense of peace settled over Y/N. Kenma's words had not magically erased her insecurities, but they had offered a glimmer of hope, a reminder that their love was strong enough to weather any storm. An idea sparked in Kenma's eyes. He reached for Y/N's hand, his expression a mix of determination and nervousness. "Come on," he said gently, pulling her towards his streaming room.

Y/N's heart hammered against her ribs. She wasn't sure what Kenma was planning, but a sliver of hope flickered within her. They entered the room, the familiar hum of the computer the only sound. Kenma settled back into his gaming chair, gesturing for Y/N to stand beside him, just out of frame.

He took a deep breath and addressed the chat. "Hey everyone, sorry for the sudden break. Thanks to some attentive viewers, it seems you might have heard some… background noise." He glanced at Y/N, a playful smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Yep, those cries were from my amazing girlfriend here."

A collective gasp, presumably from Queen, erupted from the speakers. Y/N felt a wave of heat flush her cheeks. Kenma ignored it, his focus laser-sharp.

"The truth is," he continued, his voice low and sincere, "I haven't been the best boyfriend lately. I let my career take priority, neglecting the most important person in my life." Y/N's breath caught in her throat.

He reached out, gently taking her hand in his. "This is me, publicly apologizing. Y/N, I've been a jerk, and I want to change that." He squeezed her hand, his eyes locking with hers, conveying a wealth of emotions that transcended words.

A beat of silence hung in the air, thick with tension. Then, with a swift movement, Kenma pulled Y/N closer, framing her face in the camera's view. "This," he declared, his voice husky, "is the most amazing, supportive, and thankfully, understanding girlfriend a guy could ask for." He leaned in, his lips brushing hers in a tender kiss.

"Isn't she the prettiest?" Kenma murmured against her skin, a playful glint in his eyes. He pulled back slightly, cupping her face, his gaze holding hers. A blush bloomed across Y/N's cheeks, a mixture of relief, surprise, and a flicker of possessiveness aimed at the unseen Queen.

Kenma chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. "Alright everyone, enough mush for one day. We'll be back with the stream shortly, but for now, I have some serious apologizing to do." He winked at Y/N, a silent promise hanging in the air.

[interlagostrack]

my ranking of the 2025 f1 lineups

ferrari - hamilton/leclerc there isn't much to explain here: lewis is the best and most complete driver to ever compete in f1, and even if he is not at his best, he's still better than the rest of the grid and that's it. charles is exceptional and with a little bit of luck and a car he can trust, he can prove once and for all he is the best driver of his generation.

mclaren - norris/piastri as much as it pains me to admit it, right now, mclaren is the strongest team on the grid. i always liked oscar, i know he is an amazing driver and i think lando turned out better than i expected this year (he still needs to mature a bit). both lack consistency tho.

redbull - verstappen/lawson i put them in 3rd place because yeah, we know if max has a fast car he can (put the other drivers on the wall and) deliver some results. i'm curious how they'll be this year, since they lost some key players last year, especially newey. i don't think lawson will be too hot, he might be just the next driver to have his career ruined by rbr.

mercedes - russell/antonelli i honestly believe george is one of the fastest drivers on the grid and he's also a clean driver who's not afraid to take risks BUT i don't trust mercedes to develop a car that's consistently fast (especially without lewis' input). kimi is a prodigy but i fear toto is screwing up his career by making him skip f3 and not letting him do another year of f2. his 2024 was of highs and lows and he would probably benefit of more time, but oh well

williams - albon/sainz here we have two reasonably good drivers on a reasonably good team and that's it?. like, i don't mean to be offensive, but i look at this team and all i think of is "mid" (and that if williams manages to give them a decent car and they manage to not crash every couple of laps)

haas - ocon/bearman i really like this duo! esteban is one of my favorite drivers and i do hope he finally has an opportunity on a team that supports him and recognizes his talent. oli already proved he is talented enough with all the times he was called to replace a driver last year, and i think a midfield team will be better for his first full season than the pressure that will come antonelli's way.

sauber - hulkenberg/bortoleto as much as it pains me to admit, hulk had a pretty interesting season last year (in parts thanks to kmag, but i do admit he is a better driver this time around) and i like gabi, i think he has a lot of potential to develop on a midfield team, without so much pressure and he will benefit from a more experienced teammate (even if i think it will be a miracle if they manage to score points any time this year).

aston martin - alonso/stroll ok, so hear me out: i don't think lance is a disgrace to motorsports, as most fans like to make of him AND i don't think alonso is god's gift to f1 either. to me, lance is a pretty average driver, with some good moments, and alonso is an okay driver that got luck with his 2 titles and somewhow convinced the media he is a genius. at least lance seems like a nice guy. i don't think newey is enough to save this team btw and i don't care too much about them

racing bulls - tsunoda/hadjar i don't have much of an opinion on hadjar and i think yuki is too good for this team and he will crush another teammate. i also think we should give yuki a gun and let him alone with marko for 15 minutes.

alpine - gasly/doohan this will be a shit show, both are good drivers but i think there will be too much drama behind the scenes and not enough results on track because the car won't be good enough.

literally no one asked me, but i'd love to hear other opinions so my ask is open or whatever

[omarera]

Oh wow 🫠 collecting my thoughts the day after The Day. Long rant ahead.

It’s truly one of the most beautiful concert experiences I have ever had. The intimacy of the venue and all the love from the very excited audience was so special. His live vocals are incredible! I was a bit worried how he would handle the dance routines and keep his vocals on top but certainly no need to worry. The sound and his vocals were amazing through out the show. His stage presence is also something very unique, he has this glowing energy and just radiates and it’s very natural and feels like he is in his right element when he performs on stage. The dance routines were also on point and he is such a smooth and beautiful dancer.

I also liked the diversity and the planning of the set list. I was a little surprised that he added Build a girl for example but that song became a nice toned downed version and he was sitting on a chair singing it. People filling in the lyrics and he made a shout out and thanks to Felix and Oscar in the audience. It was a sweet moment for him to cherish his start, telling us about it and praise his band members. And Mapei came in during Om du inte fanns and Jubel appeared during Off my mind.

He did some small talk between songs and had a lovely talk about moving to Sweden and praising his mom as well. And a talk on YR ofc. And was so sweet and caring when a fan needed support and needed to be removed from the floor by security and waited till it’s was all clear and he made sure to get a “good to go” answer from the security before continuing.

I read a review in DN (one of Swedens two large morning papers) and first I was disappointed of it, and still is to some extent, but it was also a very promising review. It basically says that his own song catalogue doesn’t hold for a full concert yet, since covers were included, and that his small talk were good on paper but didn’t fly on stage. And they criticized him speaking English, which actually shows they had no idea how loved he is around the world and that so many fans had come and he was just respectful to them. I can understand some of her points though (after my first reaction lol), that he dreams big and talks about fulfilling dreams but has not fully reach a level of being a the top level artist (due to song catalog) She could have focused more on his stage presence etc but ofc they hit in the things they can. But I also find that review very hopeful. It was his first show, the song catalog will grow. He can develop the small talk and make the breaks in the show more tight, to not loose momentum. Those are things he can change. The reviewer compared him with a young Darin, who is now one of the biggest names in Sweden and he also has a big career abroad. So she clearly see his potential to grow. And she had no complaints on his stage presence, singing and his performance. How could she have. That was clearly on point. And he got a 3 on a scale from 0-5. Getting a 2 is equal to “pass”, so he still got a review above “good enough”. It would have been nice if she would have mentioned his amazing voice.

I brought a friend, she just listened in on his songs before the show, and she was absolutely floored by his performance and personality.

I am so so proud and happy for him. For him (and us) , this really was to fulfill one of his dream. He has had the dream to make his first solo concert for so long. The professional way he excelled doing it with his family and friends there, all the loving fans (he also shows he loves back), was just magical and very beautiful ❤️

[thesweetestdevotion]

Hi Stella! your analysis on Jackson was pretty spot on!

His family used to struggle financially in the past. In an interview, he said that when he was younger, his mom would be so exhausted from working she would crash out on the floor. So he told himself from then on that he wanted to provide for the family. He left his home country early on and has attained much success overseas as you have mentioned!

And yes, he is quite disciplined lol. He seems to have a routine he follows everyday, with his notorious healthy smoothie. Very hardworking and diligent (according to many people he has worked with) and also extremely creative: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WvIBitkrdL8 (one of my fav MVs)

I noticed that you have done a future spouse reading on him as well before! Do you see any synchronicities with his birth chart relating to his potential marriage? He has mentioned several times that he really wants to settle down and have kids lmao. But it seems like it’s a struggle sadly. Hope he finds someone nice to settle down with!

thank you for the amazing reading❤️ it was very interesting!

Hi!!

omg I didn't know he grew up that way fr 😭😭 its crazy how he ended up making it! he's def an inspirational person bc of it. Now about his spouse, I went ahead and added the info to the original post here, and also fixed up a point that I got incorrect (the AL part) so go ahead and have a look at the updated info and lmk if anymore q's come up!!

I think his FS reading sorta resonates with what I found astrologically! especially since his Venus is in Sidereal Aries, which matches the fiery and youthful I channeled! His DK is also Venus, so this could show them being related to beauty, style, luxury, etc... (see the career part of the reading) His Jupiter (marriage) is also in Libra, the opposite sign of Aries, and in the tenth house. This means he could be more famous than his spouse. Also the Venus being in the 4th shows that this person is private/away from the public eye. Although I would very much like to look at his D9 chart, which is about the spouse/life after marriage & later age to get more information. That will be later on though haha!

BTW thanks for the detailed information you gave me! I like when you guys clarify stuff for me, esp cause fans definitely know more than what I can find on a simple google search hehe. have a lovely one! xxx

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi S!

Eager to know Jalebi's honest opinion. Is Arnav a classist? His actions and accusations of "gold digging" against Khushi seems to say so. Later on during the 'dadi track' he seems to oppose her evident classism. But is that because now Khushi is his wife?

Hey!

This is an interesting question because there is a yes and a no.

A yes because had Khushi belonged from a higher class, Arnav's treatment of her would have been different. So if a person is treated better because of their class, that's classism.

However, Arnav has absolutely no qualms with people from lower class. When he learns that Akash loves Payal, Arnav's main concern isn't that Payal comes from no money and lower social status, his concern is whether or not Akash is ready for a lifelong commitment and isn't being childish just because he's infatuated. That is Arnav being a really sensible brother.

Arnav actually has no difficulty gelling with Khushi's family. Any problem Arnav faces in Lakshminagar is a direct result of Khushi annoying him. He's, in fact, quite sensitive to Gupta's monetary stretch. He doesn't order Italian food for himself simply because the Guptas don't know fine dining. He actually orders it for everyone - even though he's annoyed the hell out of Khushi because ordering food for just himself at a guest's house is rude.

And let's not forget, Arnav gets annoyed every time Manorama makes a comment on class on either Payal or Khushi.

Dadi track had a lot of missed potential in my opinion. It would have been great for Khushi to point out that Dadi mirrors a lot of Arnav's earlier opinions of her.

To be honest, more than Khushi being his wife it's about the time when Arnav's misgivings about Khushi started fading (around post Janmashtami). I think that's when he figured out Khush is a bit stupid and absurd, but not the gold digger he assumed her to be.

Hence, he's a bit disturbed when he learns that Manorama accused Khushi of robbery (because Anjali is right about Khushi being unjustly treated at Shantivan).

[I've always interpreted Arnav asking Khushi tum theek ho that day for more than just the getting her earring stuck on his jacket - which is also a weird thing to ask if someone is ok after an accessory got stuck, lol]

And then during Dadi era he loves Khushi, so of course he's taking a stand for the woman he loves.

He loves Khushi. He loves her family.

But there is a slight, inherent, classism in Arnav because reality IS that Khushi would have had a lot of things easier for her if she just belonged from a better class (not even his equivalent but just if she spoke English, or came across as upper middle class).

And it is classism that it takes SO much for him to start viewing her nicely. To throw away his prejudice. Her class plays a key role here.

Anjali has to keep justifying Khushi's intentions. Khushi has to prove her kindness and selflessness MULTIPLE times to his family. Arnav has no hesitation to shove money in Khushi's face.

It is classism that he resorts to insulting her class when he wants a shield for his growing attraction.

And Arnav would have thought twice before hurting her because she holds some power. Now power dynamics is a whole different monster in this conversation because not just class but even gender, their careers, Khushi's family and patriarchy play a key role behind the grossly imbalanced power dynamic between Arnav and Khushi.

In short, there is classism because Arnav feels entitled to do his way when he's being ruthless. But also Arnav is completely accepting of people from different classes and he does not think he's amazing because of it.

So a yes, and a no.

Love,

S

P.S: Anjali exhibits privilege in and a very very slight classist nature as well. A person of lower class cannot tell Anjali no. She keeps compelling Khushi multiple times because of this class difference (not just because Khushi is kind).

Anjali is kind and cultured enough to say the right thing but she is not beyond manipulating situations to her benefit. Anjali cares far more for her brother, so she's completely fine subjecting Khushi to continuous interactions with her acrimonious brother, misusing her financial strength against Khushi, having Khushi constantly come over to her home even after her job is over so Khushi has to juggle looking after her parents and tuitions and being Anjali & La's buddy time while her transportation costs are totally not being covered.

Anjali is blind as hell to the fact that Khushi's time is of value as well.

[nigelgodrichproducer]

Nigel on IDLEs

Godrich has reached a point in his career where he can be selective about his projects. “I rarely, these days, have any sort of desire to work with anyone, to be honest,” he tells me, a few weeks after my conversation with Talbot and Bowen. “But they’re doing it for the right reasons and the right intentions – and they’re really fucking sweet people, which, believe it or not, is a very important thing to me.” He wasn’t, and still isn’t, closely familiar with the lineage of their sound, but after relaunching his beloved live-in-studio music series From The Basement with their performance, he glimpsed the potential for something within them that had, until then, been untapped.

“I always think about things selfishly, like, ‘What would I like to hear?’, Godrich explains. “I see this band, I see them perform, and I see Joe who’s a star. And I started to think, ‘I wish they would…’, in that kind of imaginary way. I thought it would be interesting to see how they would translate if he was a little bit more musical, if he sang more. Has this tone which is really quite amazing. I was talking to Mark and Kenny, and we all agreed it would be a great angle to take - and Joe was on board. The reason I was drawn to do it was because I could see a role I could play; I could see a possible outcome.”

It was the first time Godrich had worked on a record where not a single word had been written beforehand. It’s how IDLES have always worked: Bowen and the band conjure the sound, dictate its mood and climate, and then Talbot communicates that sound through melody, like beams of light refracting through a prism. Godrich was both astounded and disarmed, he recalls, at the instinctive way in which he would write a song at the microphone, in that very moment. But rising to this new musical approach, at first, didn’t not come easily to Talbot.

“First of all, Joe is the one at the front there who’s having to sing all this stuff,” Godrich points out. “He’s put in a very vulnerable position and he’s the one who has to make it work. I know, for him, that was difficult because I think he puts himself forward with a very aggressive kind of sensitivity on the previous records. In order to kill the toxic masculinity of something, you have to have that masculinity there in order to detoxify it – that’s part of the magic of it all. So then, suddenly, to work without that edge, I felt that he was a bit nervous about it. And rightly so. He’s a sensitive guy, and that’s what makes him such an extraordinary performer.”

At the end of our conversation, Godrich also confesses, “I didn’t really want to do any interviews about this. It’s nice to retain an air of mystery sometimes, but these boys deserve everything that I hope is going to come to them.”

--------------------------------------

Think that's a subtly revealing interview, actually.

I know Nigel has expressed that most music isn't very good right now. But the air of mystery quote at the end is another clear reason he doesn't interview much or talk details.

[ffffffftw]

this film is a masterpiece. it really made me cry watching the whole film. it made me realize a lot of things and taught a very enlightening lesson in life. i really admire mi-so and ha-eun friendship or bond. since they were a kid and especially when they grow up. tho there's something happened in their friendship ( bcs of that guy haha kidding ) it didn't make their friendship to break. plus, what makes their friendship so special is the unwavering support and understanding they provide for one another. despite of their own personal struggles and differences, mi-so and ha-eun are always there for each other, offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. they provide a safe space where they can be vulnerable and authentic, without fear of judgment or rejection. we witness the ups and downs of their lives, including heartbreak, career setbacks, and personal growth. butt through it all, their friendship remains a constant source of strength and solace. they celebrate each other's successes, console each other during difficult times, and push each other to become better versions of themselves. their friendship also highlights the importance of acceptance and forgiveness. mi-so and ha-eun have their fair share of disagreements and misunderstandings, but they always find a way to reconcile and move forward. they understand that friendships, like any relationship, require effort and compromise. their friendship showcases the power of unconditional love and support. they accept each other for who they are, flaws and all, and provide a safe haven where they can be their authentic selves. it would be really nice to have someone in our life that will always have our back and this film basically showed us that a soulmate can take any form in your life. it doesn't have to be your lover and in this case ( in the film ) it is a friend who know every single truth about the you, it's a someone who knows how to handle you, it's someone who make you feel seen and will always choose to stay with you no matter what. their portrayal shows that even the two person needed to go, to grow and live their lives separately, it doesn't mean knowing and loving that person less, but always being there for that person. plus i love ha-eun so much. i admire how she manage to be calm she is in every situation tho deep inside it makes her feel shjt. and how she act like naive but she actually know the whole truth, it's just that she just keep silent or she just keep it all to herself. and i somehow see myself on her, it's probably bcs she's kind of introverted and reserved, often unsure of herself and her abilities. just like her, i sometimes doubt my own worth or abilities nd i find it difficult to fully embrace my own potential. just like her, we both want to be like mi-so who manage to be free and wild, to do what ever she want. but anw, her character throughout the film is really inspiring since she learn how to overcome her insecurities and find her own path. it's just that it pains me so much when she died at the age of “27” haha. but as the core of this film, their bonds reminds me of the importance of having someone who understands us deeply and stands by our side, no matter what. their friendship serves as a reminder to cherish and nurture the relationships that bring joy, comfort, and understanding into our lives. this made me realize how many adventures i will go on before actually settling into adult life. the way mi-so did and the way ha-eun could if her life didn't end so unfortunately. the future is a actually scary but this is the reality of life and because of this film, i came to realize that if i truly believed in myself and is not afraid of what's to come in my life then it will definitely turn out to be an amazing story just like this one ( i hope ) or just make things more interesting i guess. and lastly, their bond as they are artist and the way that they draw each other especially when ha-eun draw mi-so is the unforgettable scene in the movie.

the acting and the cinematography is 💯

[dankusner]

radio hairdo

In just a few short years, Michele Solberg has won the kind of audience and experience that musicians twice her age could respect.

But before you dismiss her as some precocious, itinerant singer-songwriter, be aware:

She produces her own material and she does nicely without a major-label contract, thank you very much.

Her confidence (as well as her mightily impressive voice) makes her one of the brightest lights in the local music firmament.

All this, and she’s an English major too…

SHRILLING PROPOSAL

The student newspaper of The University of Texas at Austin

By STEVE CRABTREE | Thursday, April 29, 1993 | 25c

After kicking around Austin a few years as a solo artist, Michele Solberg has learned to take matters into her own hands.

Still an English major here at the University, she has just produced her debut full-length album, 'Shrill.'

'I broke through quite innocently, because I didn't know any better. I think it would be quite different if moved to another town at this point ... when I got here, I could barely get up on a stage." — Michele Solberg

The average UT junior will no doubt claim an overload of stress this time of year.

Cramming for finals, cranking out term papers, lining up summer work — so much to do, so little time.

And the average UT junior doesn't even have to worry about the critical and popular acceptance of her new album, local gigs lined up for the rest of the month, and having to balance a potentially explosive musical career with a full load of English classes.

Fortunately, Michele Solberg is not the average UT junior.

Barely 21, she's found her way around Austin's musical block more times than most aspiring singer/songwriters twice her age.

She was a member of two different bands in two different cities before she went solo, recording first a six-song demo tape called Skin, and now Shrill, a full-length album on which she wrote and produced every track. 

Solberg has already carved out a solid reputation as a rising star on the vast local music horizon, thanks chiefly to her most amazing asset — her voice. 

The range of Solberg's vocal talent is difficult to describe to those who have never heard her. 

She effortlessly crosses the spectrum from ethereal to earthy, packing any quality she chooses with rich vibrato and raw emotion. 

Though her engaging and intensely personal songwriting helps her keep listeners interested, it is that golden throat that attracts attention. 

So where does such a remarkable gift come from? 

Is it the genes? 

"I honestly don't know," Solberg says. 

"When I was younger I couldn't sit by my mom at church, she was just so off-key. But I've just had this intuitive desire to want to sing a certain way that keeps pushing.” 

Solberg's musical inclination first manifested itself during her high school days in Albuquerque, where she dabbled with a techno-pop band called Harriet and the Underground Railroad. 

But she felt her trendy high school was holding her back, and couldn't wait to leave.

"I always felt ostracized cause I was changing and my friends weren't," Solberg says of those days. 

"My senior year, it got to the point where I avoided the halls — I carried a suitcase around with me so I didn't have to have a locker. I never went out 'cause I was disgusted with the whole music scene, so I stayed home and worked on my four-track every night, singing the most horrible songs. ... I left three days after graduation to come to Austin, I was so ready to move on.” 

Attracted by the University's low tuition and the reputation of the city's local music, Solberg came to Austin in 1990 and immediately began playing open-mike nights at the Cactus Cafe. 

The following February she started a three-piece band called Radio Hairdo, which disbanded a few months later. 

Solberg has since played with a variety of musicians, including guitarists Craig Ross and Freddie Cruz, and the ex-Twang Twang Shock-a-Boom rhythm section, drummer Chris Searles and bassist Jeff Haley.

These days, she packs the Cactus regularly and frequently plays bigger venues like Liberty Lunch and La Zona Rosa.

Solberg maintains that it was tough to make a name for herself while surrounded by artists who were considerably older and more tradition-oriented than her alternative-pop background allowed for.

Nevertheless, she fell into the music scene here quite naturally, honing her skills until she had carved her own niche.

"There's not a lot of money here, but there are a lot of places to play, so you can really develop, she says. "I broke through quite innocently, because I didn't know any better. I think it would be quite different if I moved to another town at this point, because when I got here, I could barely get up on a stage."

Soon after her arrival here, though, Solberg became the music junkie she is today.

"I was at a party when a guy asked if I could sing," she says.

"I said yes, and we went over to his house and recorded some stuff, and I went from there. Like anything else you really love, it's just addicting and you continue to do it, whether or not you're really good at it."

Local music critics agree that Solberg is really good.

Jody Denberg of KGSR gives her considerable airplay, and has called her music "world-class."

Solberg doesn't think that comparisons of her sound to Joni Mitchell are apt. " It  bothers me when people  try to sell stuff that way," she says. 

Don McLeese of the Austin American- Statesman called her "the most impressive young talent I've encountered in Austin."

And the list goes on.

The tendency is strong for critics to compare Solberg to a variety of famous female voices — from Joni Mitchell to Tori Amos, depending on the age of the critic.

Solberg doesn't place much stock in such comparisons.

"It bothers me when people try to sell stuff that way," she says.

"To a person who's creating such an internal thing [as music], to try to cover it with all these external comparisons…" She breaks off, shrugging.

"Besides," she adds, "I don't really sound anything like Joni Mitchell."

Certainly, Shrill defies most comparisons.

The album is clearly a product of Solberg's generation, with progressive influences like the Smiths and the Cocteau Twins clearly audible in the hooks and rhythms of Lift You, but mixed with the more traditional bare-bones sounds that Solberg has been exposed to in Austin, in tracks like the plaintive Long Time.

Shrill is all the more impressive for the fact that it was independently recorded and self-produced.

Solberg says she has no real interest in courting a major label, preferring for now to have sole control over her music and her destiny.

Besides, she says, the only reason such a contract would interest her is that it would help support the music habit on which she has become hooked.

"The biggest goal is to be able to have the best equipment and players, in order to make the best music possible," she says.

"That's the thing that makes you go, even when you can't really play. You just keep on thinking, 'I want to make good music.' You get addicted to it."

Fortunately for the Austin music community, Solberg's stellar voice is one of the healthiest addictions around.

In just a few short years, Michele Solberg has won the kind of audience and experience that musicians twice her age could respect. But before you dismiss her as some precocious, itinerant singer-songwriter, be aware: She produces her own material and she does nicely without a major-label contract, thank you very much. Her confidence (as well as her mightily impressive voice) makes her one of the brightest lights in the local music firmament. All this, and she’s an English major too…………………………………

Vol. 92, No 

The student newspaper of The University of Texas at Austin Thursday, April 29, 1993 25c 

After kicking around Austin a few years as a solo artist, Michele Solberg has learned to take matters into her own hands. Still an English major here at the University, she has just produced her debut full-length album, 'Shrill.’

'I broke through quite innocently, because I didn't know any better. I think it would be quite different if moved to another town at this point ... when I got here, I could barely get up on a stage." - Michele Solberg

The average UT junior will no doubt claim an overload of stress this time of year. Cramming for finals, cranking out term papers, lining up summer work - so much to do, so little time. And the average UT junior doesn't even have to worry about the critical and popular acceptance of her new album, local gigs lined up for the rest of the month, and having to balance a potentially explosive musical career with a full load of English classes.

Fortunately, Michele Solberg is not the average UT junior. Barely 21, she's found her way around Austin's musical block more times than most aspiring singer/songwriters twice her age. 

She was a member of two different bands in two different cities before she went solo, recording first a six-song demo tape called Skin, and now Shrill, a full-length album on which she wrote and produced every track. 

Solberg has already carved out a solid reputation as a rising star on the vast local music horizon, thanks chiefly to her most amazing asset — her voice. 

The range of Solberg's vocal talent is difficult to describe to those who have never heard her. 

She effortlessly crosses the spectrum from ethereal to earthy, packing any quality she chooses with rich vibrato and raw emotion. 

Though her engaging and intensely personal songwriting helps her keep listeners interested, it is that golden throat that attracts attention. 

So where does such a remarkable gift come from? 

Is it the genes? 

"I honestly don't know," Solberg says. 

"When I was younger I couldn't sit by my mom at church, she was just so off-key. But I've just had this intuitive desire to want to sing a certain way that keeps pushing.” 

Solberg's musical inclination first manifested itself during her high school days in Albuquerque, where she dabbled with a techno-pop band called Harriet and the Underground Railroad. 

But she felt her trendy high school was holding her back, and couldn't wait to leave.

"I always felt ostracized cause I was changing and my friends weren't," Solberg says of those days. 

"My senior year, it got to the point where I avoided the halls — I carried a suitcase around with me so I didn't have to have a locker. I never went out 'cause I was disgusted with the whole music scene, so I stayed home and worked on my four-track every night, singing the most horrible songs. ... I left three days after graduation to come to Austin, I was so ready to move on.” 

Attracted by the University's low tuition and the reputation of the city's local music, Solberg came to Austin in 1990 and immediately began playing open-mike nights at the Cactus Cafe. 

The following February she started a three-piece band called Radio Hairdo, which disbanded a few months later. 

Solberg has since played with a variety of musicians, including guitarists Craig Ross and Freddie Cruz, and the ex-Twang Twang Shock-a-Boom rhythm section, drummer Chris Searles and bassist Jeff Haley. 

These days, she packs the Cactus regularly and frequently plays bigger venues like Liberty Lunch and La Zona Rosa. 

Solberg maintains that it was tough to make a name for herself while surrounded by artists who were considerably older and more tradition-oriented than her alternative-pop background allowed for. 

Nevertheless, she fell into the music scene here quite naturally, honing her skills until she had carved her own niche. 

"There's not a lot of money here, but there are a lot of places to play, so you can really develop, she says. "I broke through quite innocently, because I didn't know any better. I think it would be quite different if I moved to another town at this point, because when I got here, I could barely get up on a stage." Soon after her arrival here, though, Solberg became the music junkie she is today. "I was at a party when a guy asked if I could sing," she says. "I said yes, and we went over to his house and recorded some stuff, and I went from there. Like anything else you really love, it's just addicting and you continue to do it, whether or not you're really good at it." Local music critics agree that Solberg is really good. Jody Denberg of KGSR gives her considerable airplay, and has called her music "world-class." Don McLeese of the Austin American- continued on page 21   

Solberg doesn't think that  comparisons of her sound  to Joni Mitchell are apt. "It  bothers me when people  try to sell stuff that way," she says. 

continued from page 13 Statesman called her "the most impressive young talent I've encountered in Austin." And the list goes on. The tendency is strong for critics to compare Solberg to a variety of famous female voices - from Joni Mitchell to Tori Amos, depending on the age of the critic. Solberg doesn't place much stock in such compar-isons. "It bothers me when people try to sell stuff that way," she says. "To a person who's creating such an internal thing [as music], to try to cover it with all these external com-parisons..." She breaks off, shrugging. "Besides," she adds, "I don't really sound anything like Joni Mitchell." Certainly, Shrill defies most comparisons. The album is clearly a product of Solberg's generation, with progressive influences like the Smiths and the Cocteau Twins clearly audible in the hooks and rhythms of Lift You, but mixed with the more traditional bare-bones sounds that Solberg has been exposed to in Austin, in tracks like the plaintive Long Time. Shrill is all the more impressive for the fact that it was independently recorded and self-produced. Solberg says she has no real interest in courting a major label, preferring for now to have sole control over her music and her destiny. Besides, she says, the only reason such a contract would interest her is that it would help support the music habit on which she has become hooked. "The biggest goal is to be able to have the best equipment and players, in order to make the best music possible," she says. "That's the thing that makes you go, even when you can't really play. You just keep on thinking, 'I want to make good music.' You get addicted to it." Fortunately for the Austin music community, Solberg's stellar voice is one of the healthiest addictions around.

[love-karens-style]

School of Style – Evening Elegance: 3 Fast Facts

(source: © pinterest.com)

“In fashion, only sexy won't go out of fashion.” –Donatella Versace

1. Sexy Satin – In first place ladies, you’ve probably guessed that the first point that I’d like to share with you, is about the model’s silky, satin high-waisted trousers. They are pink, pretty, and perfect for a party. Additionally, ladies, I believe that satin is a fascinating and feminine fabric, and ladies, although the model is wearing a pink pair of trousers, a pair of brilliant black stunning satin trousers would also work well, if that is your preference. Either way ladies, satin is surely here to stay, as it is a completely classic fabric, which has stood the test of time. This is indeed important ladies, as in Nina Garcia’s book, entitled The Little Black Book of Style, Nina’s applicable advice is, “Buy timeless items. Don’t just go crazy for trends. Make sure you can see yourself wearing it a few seasons later.” Ladies, in my fashion career, I have seen many trends come and go, and I can say with complete confidence, that style usually prevails over fast fashion. I like the quote by British entrepreneur, James Caan, former star of Dragons’ Den, UK (which is equivalent to Shark Tank in the U.S.), that he shared in his audiobook, The Real Deal: My Story from Brick Lane to Dragons’ Den, which is that his father taught him to, “Observe the masses and do the opposite.” The takeaway ladies is that, while many are followers of fashion, I’d really recommend that you search for suitable style. That way, your clothes will never be seen as ‘dated,’ or ‘out of style,’ and you’ll forever be “in fashion.”

2. Layered Locks – The second observation that I’d like to share with you ladies, is the fact that I absolutely admire the model’s fantastic ‘flicks.’ As you’re probably aware ladies, layers typically frame the face and add volume to one’s hairstyle. Ladies, may I suggest, that if you’re out and about, and you see someone with a hairstyle that you absolutely adore, that you politely approach them and ask them who their hair stylist is. I’m sure they will be flattered (if they are not in a hurry, of course), and you could potentially make their day. After all, everyone loves a compliment. Ladies, this is in line with what amazing author, Jacqui Ripley says in her book, Celebrity Style Secrets: An Insider’s Guide to Looking A-List, which is that, “Personal recommendations are always helpful when it comes to looking for a talented snipper. If you see someone whose hair inspires you, ask where they’ve had it done.” Ladies, I personally believe that it’s very important to go with a hairstylist, who will help you not only look your best, but feel your best, because as the saying goes, “Your hair is the crown you never take off,” so you want to be proud of your hairstyle.

3. Bling Black – In third and final place ladies, this paragraph is about the model’s top and fabulous footwear. Ladies, I noticed that the model’s smooth satin trousers successfully separates the embellished top and footwear. From my personal perspective, this was a wise move by her stylist, because it means that the trousers stop her outfit from looking overdone. Remember ladies, less is usually more. Furthermore ladies, notice how the embellishment on the model’s top and on her footwear, are in harmony, as the model is wearing a silver detailed top, with a pair of shoes with silver detailing. This, in my view, promotes a perfectly polished appearance. Years ago, ladies, (I was probably in my teens), I read in a magazine that combining too many metallics, “can look messy,” so since then, I’ve been co-ordinating gold metal details together, and teaming silver details with other silver accessories, for a ‘nice and neat’ finish. Always match your metals, ladies. I’ve also noticed the fact that the model is wearing jewellery, specifically, a necklace, a ring, and a pair of earrings, which are dainty and discreet. This, in my opinion, was a great move by the stylist, to avoid being seen as over accessorised, as we have already established the embellished top and shoes. The model’s sensational stylist, completely and clearly understands the concept of, “Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance.” Coco Chanel.

Love, KF X                                                                                            

Happy to help: karensworldofstyle@live.co.uk or karens_style on X (Twitter)

This article was researched, written, edited, produced & published by Karen, on 14th December 2024

[roguestarsailor]

so i was planning the NYC trip with my friends tonight and...i am actually quite excited to go now! i forgot what a real true city is like and it screams opportunity and fun everywhere! i think maybe that's where i need to be?

i was thinking i'd move over there in 2026 but i realize i'll be 30 and i dont know how to exist in a space with such young energy. how will i make friends? how do i find people my age? who would i even be by 30? i dont think i'll be too different when im that age but it does overwhelm me. its more new experiences and i dont know how many of those i can take solo. will i have a boyfriend by then? will i be close to marriage age? or will i just stay single and continue to do so? my career? i was looking up on linkedin of potentially roles i can apply to and i hate all of them! i dont even know what to do to get those higher paying roles. i dont have anyone to talk to. it was so much easier as a student because everyone was just higher level than me and i had role models to base my career off; now im on my own and i dont know where to even go to ask??

NYC, mixed with my anxieties of not finding a roommate and this city not being the city i had hope it to be, and not feeling like i fit in here is making me fantasize and wonder again. this place also does an AMAZING job making sure you can't live here unless you make at least $1 million dollar salary. NYC is also expensive yet somehow still livable? still full of those who hustle and bustle??

i do feel my age tho. i am ready for stability; i want to just...settle down and find a home and spend time in it. maybe its this roommate/living situation limbo that im in, but its exhausting. begging someone to come live with me? spamming the digital spaces to hope that that ONE person is willing to live temporarily with me? even if i got a roommate, its constantly reacting to the whims of other people who have such different goals? i cannot do this anymore... and also just the fact that i don't make enough to get my own place for a decent price! heartbreaking and it's just constantly thinking about money and what is worth the price. my time is also precious and im stretching it every single day.

maybe i should have tried to find a husband. i am dumb for wanting an independent life. its soo hard and im soooo tired. i'm tired to my bones. dual income would be soo fucken nice.

anyways, maybe it's just my anxieties these days. i even made the calculations for the anticipated costs and im so broke. i cannot afford a home at this rate. i literally need a new job and one that will pay even higher for me to be back on track again and on top of that finding a place to live that ensures my living expenses are low enough to achieve my long term goals. maybe a child is truly out of reach and i just have to be satisfied being on my own? just helping myself survive in cities and afford more high end apartments and have nice furniture? i think thats the goal now.

[nurturingfather44]

Cape Town High School Performs Easter Bunny To Offer Much Less Lucky Eggs

Thawed semen samples have the potential to realize a being pregnant by assisted replica, corresponding to Artificial Insemination (AI) or Invitro Fertilisation (IVF) / Intra-cytoplasmic Injection (ICSI) after any length of storage interval. On the identical day that the eggs are collected, you'll be requested to provide a contemporary sample of sperm using egg donor agencies south africa considered one of our personal facilities. The sperm is then washed, the healthiest and most lively sperm are chosen. A being pregnant check by the use of a blood pattern is completed on the 10th day after embryo transfer to confirm the finish result.

of an egg financial institution. For the Applicant to proceed with its meant egg financial institution egg donor application, it wants authorized certainty whether

In a video that was posted to TikTok, we seen a person - who we assume is the father - neglect his baby on the roof of the automobile. That added layer of responsibility does not quite give us the liberty to lose our sense of control and talent to father or mother. Semen cryopreservation is a procedure to preserve nurture egg donor sperm cells. The benefit of this process is that the semen can be utilized efficiently indefinitely after cryopreservation. Genetic testing includes the profiling of embryos earlier than implantation takes place. In some cases genetic testing may also be accomplished on the oocytes before fertilization.

The expertise was nice and I was not nervous at all as the nurses and medical doctors have been so supportive and kind. This was an amazing experience and I only want in your facility to develop from strength to energy by making many extra desires come true. I want to thank all of the great people I interacted with at Cape Fertility for all of the help all through the method from my first day in, right egg donor agency through the second I walked out after my first ever retrieval. The warm environment, the grins; I loved every visit so much. This has been a very rewarding experience and I’ll positively be back to assist more families within the near future. However, in case you have been chosen to donate via another agency, please let us know, to stop two donation cycles being planned at the similar time.

Ms Tertia Albertyn established the Applicant, Nurture Egg Donors CC, an internet egg donor agencies egg donation agency in 2008.

Since I couldn't be a surrogate I determined to provide donating a attempt with the hope that I would a minimal of give a loving couple the enjoyment of experiencing parenthood. What I thought could be a mechanical procedure of exams, scans and dreaded needles turned out to be essentially the most fulfilling experience with great assist from everyone involved. I instantly donating eggs felt snug with DESA and was treated to really feel so particular and appreciated. When I was informed my first recipients were pregnant I felt over the moon and it made each needle prick value it! As a quantity one egg donation agency in South Africa, baby2mom has a stable historical past of over 2,500 profitable egg donation programmes, and is rising yearly.

So the variety of eggs you've is not going to change at all by donating some. He said when women delay child-bearing they lose out on their best years of capabilities when it comes to falling pregnant. "Women underneath the age of 35 with massive egg donors south africa career plans ought to consider egg freezing. Manzoor made the decision to anonymously donate her eggs, which meant she would neither know which couple received her eggs nor would the couple have any entry to her.

"You can choose out at any time. But each time I went in, I saw these photographs of beautiful infants on the wall and I was inspired to carry on. The 29-year-old, who runs a catering outfit along with her husband, says she is "hyper-fertile". "We conceived really easily, so I thought, why waste the present I have? I really have my own kids and, while I am able, I may as nicely give to those donating eggs south africa who haven't got. Otherwise, it's wasted DNA." "On the other hand, some people might find they're so snug about their fertility choice that they inform everybody about it and permit their youngster to inform whomever they need to, additionally. "Going through all that, being pregnant and supply, makes an individual a mom, not genetics. The test case is

[terrariumfiction]

Evaluation

I have come to learn that I find exhibiting work and moving forward very difficult; it's easy to only notice a thing's flaws once it's not hidden and completely under my control I guess? Figuring out how (and if) I want to push forwards into an arts career will be a slow kind of thing, I think, and I'm sort of looking forward to a serious break from this kind of making.

BUT, (this isn't a negative post!!) I am so proud of this exhibition and what we have accomplished together - how we have each grown as artists.

Referring back to my proposals from the three years, these are the common goals that were shared by each of them:

understand the commonalities between the different strains of my practice

develop my writing to act as a kind of central pillar

more closely consider installation and audience - what experience I want people to have

I'm pretty happy overall with how these things have been addressed and figured out. The themes and thinking behind the work (systems, interlinkage, ecology, the wretched self) have served me well and continue to intrigue me - I think I've found my niche. Through the writing tasks in years 1 and 2 I developed my voice, and the ways in which I could interrogate subjects with different kinds of writing styles and visual presentations; I even had some of these assignments published in a little collection. I feel my writing has come a long way, and I'm really happy about this; feel I know how I can keep that moving.

Centering writing in my practice has been an interesting challenge - one I think I have come close to realising. I like how the writing in the film appears as sound, voice, and visual text - each bringing in different ways of interacting with text/reading (though I acknowledge the method with which I've done this - through the visual language of videogames - is not something every audience member can connect with, potentially alienating or confusing some viewers). The comic, also, is something I'm proud of. It was a labour of love, and the fine details like the pacing and overall visual flow are not quite perfect, but I wonder if this is a setback of the medium as a whole. It is almost impossible to edit comics, without just redoing the entire thing.

Figuring out how to talk about the presence of writing and fiction within the work is tough. I have two ways of talking about it presently:

like the hyperobject, the story as a whole is presently unseeable to audiences, but can be approached through local manifestations - serialisation (releasing one chapter at a time).

the story - more succinctly, the story's synopsis - is the set of conceptual parameters within which the work can emerge.

But, every time i've tried to vocalise these ideas, I get very blank looks, so I may have some way to go yet.

One thing I had in this year's proposal is that I wanted my work to be less negative this year - I think I have achieved this. There's plenty of humour and silliness in both the printed imagery and the film. There is, I think, a goofy joy to the way I'm telling the story, no matter how dark it is, that seems to be infectious enough to make some viewers chuckle -- nice!

Doing the exhibition at Cornwall Street this year was amazing - I feel so energised about performing and presenting my work as a live event. The feeling I got doing that reading was the single best experience I've ever had making art. I'd like to do that more. I'm looking to hopefully get some work at one of the theatres in Plymouth. Theatre might be a future for this stuff.

I wanted to leave myself more time to contemplate the installation this year. Though I had thought about it ahead of time, I found myself in the same frantic situation as last year when it came down to it - I had/have no space to make or store the large scale work I wanted to make. I knew the work would be scruffy - I wanted this to an extent - but I feel a little disappointed in myself that I didn't do any grander? I don't know. There is some success in the scruffy large drawings, the way they introduce some of the visual motifs and larger metaphors of the work - and in how they network the imagery within the comic in a larger space.

Anyway - moving forward is a tough thing to think about. I feel like simultaneously I have a lot of drive and hope - to find a future making art, and like I have no energy to see this through. I find it difficult applying for things, writing and talking about my work, and find it really really hard to get rejections. I find it hard to exhibit my work and receive reactions and feedback. Not sure what I want to do! I feel my resilience hasn't really grown, and I'm not sure how much energy I would have to pursue a long term career in this direction. I don't know how important it is either.

BUT I'm very much pleased with where I've ended up after this MA. I think I've grown in the ways I wanted to. I think my uncertainty in the exiting is a reflection of this fucking hell world and my poorly mind, so.

I might edit this later if I get feedback that it's a bit too negative ;)

[slightly-smarter-nat]

Must Be Our Lucky Day || Kate Bishop

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Pairing: Kate Bishop x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1226 words.

Summary: You and Kate meet at the park- but as you least expect it.

A/N: I am blaming @crescent-witch for flooding my mind with Kate Bishop. I couldn’t get this idea out of my head so I decided to make it into a one shot. I hope you enjoy!

Please do not repost (on here or any social media platform), copy, translate or take ownership of my work. Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated <3.

Masterlist

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GIF not mine

Must Be Our Lucky Day: Kate Bishop-

It was a Sunday Afternoon and you decided to make your way to Central Park. You were new to the area, having lived in Dallas your whole life, you thought that you needed a desperate change of scenery. Let’s just say your family life wasn’t the best.

Sure, you loved your Parents dearly, but with their constant snide remarks, and unrealistic expectations, you couldn’t stand their behaviour any longer. It was like anything you did was not good enough for them- to which they reminded you every day: ‘That degree won’t lead you to a promising career’ or ‘Surely you could have tried harder, it can’t be that hard’ and your ultimate favourite, ‘Stop being dramatic, everyone gets a little sad at times’.

You knew Dallas wasn’t the place you wanted to be, so that’s what led you here- New York City.

After a particularly hard-hitting, ‘roasting’ session from your Parents. You spent the night sending out job applications to anywhere that was willing to accept you- the further away, the better.

Most of your applications were rejected, however one company gave you a virtual interview request. You were extremely nervous, you knew that if the interview didn’t go well then you were going to be stuck at home, with another ‘failure’ of yours to be added to your Parent’s list.

However, what felt like hours was potentially the best job interview you’ve ever had. Your new boss- Eleanor, was so sweet, she was very accommodating to your requests and was very clear in what she expected from you in regards to the job.

“So, when can my new Marketing Assistant get over to NYC, to start?” Eleanor said, failing to hide her smile.

“No way! I got the job?!” You couldn’t help but scream, which was mildly embarrassing for you at that moment but seemed to make Eleanor laugh at your enthusiasm.

That was 3 weeks ago, and you can honestly say you’ve never been happier, you’ve got an amazing job, a new place to live. Everything is going your way for once.

Eleanor gave you the afternoon off since you’d done most of your meetings and just had a few files to finish and organise to which she wants on her desk tomorrow morning.

You were going to stay in the Office to finish them, but with the weather being absolutely gorgeous and sunny; you couldn’t refuse a day relaxing at the park.

You headed back to your apartment to fetch some supplies and change into some casual clothes, now armed with an old blanket; drinks and snacks since you didn’t know how long you were going to stay. You were all set.

You found a nice, open spot near a tree, not too shady but enough to stop you from overheating in the sun. You set up the area to your liking and put in your earphones trying to block out the noises coming from the families surrounding you. You set up your favourite playlist and sent it blasting through your earphones- probably a little too loud.

You gathered your work papers out of your bag and started to organise them, adding in bits of information when needed.

If your music wasn’t so loud you’d probably have heard the warning being directed your way of a very excited dog incoming.

Before you could react, you’re tackled to the ground by a very fluffy, and very cute Golden Retriever. You’re in the process of removing your earphones, which would be made easier if the mystery dog wasn’t smothering you in doggy kisses.

You throw your earphones aside, as you grab the dog off of you. Rubbing it all over, “Hello beautiful, where did you come from?” The dog gracefully sits down, offering you its paw, which you gladly accept, “Nice to meet you too”.

Your introduction is interrupted when a very frantic, but very pretty girl makes her way to you, almost shouting, “Oh my god, I am so sorry, are you okay? Of course you're not okay, you just got taken out by a dog. We were playing catch and I must have over shot the ball, which never happens because I'm usually very good with accuracy… I’m sorry I tend to ramble when I’m in this type of situation, I’m Kate and this fluffy bulldozer is Lucky”. She rubs at her neck furiously, clearly nervous at your impending reaction.

You let out a laugh at her antics, “Honestly, don’t apologise, it was an accident. Your dog is very handsome- aren’t you, you’re so cute, yes you are.” You continue to talk to Lucky in a doggy voice as you massage his ears, causing him to lean down into your touch and collapse on your lap. Giving you the opportunity to administer some well deserved belly rubs.

“Wow, he’s not normally like that with people he’s just met. You must really like dogs, huh?” Kate sits down on the ground beside you.

“Oh I love them, I’ve always wanted one but my Parents would never allow us to.” Your hands don’t leave Lucky as you talk, ensuring he gets lots of cuddles.

“I am so sorry again, here let me help you clean this up,” Kate starts to pick up the papers thrown across the blanket from Lucky’s appearance.

“Wait, you work for Bishop Security? That’s my Mom’s company!”

Your eyes widen at this statement, “How did you know?”. Kate points to the Company logo on the top corner of the paper to which you release a silent ‘ah’ of acknowledgment.

“Oh my god, you’re Kate!? The Kate Bishop! Your Mom has told me all about you.” Kate winces at this, knowing her Mom has a talent for over sharing.

“Yeah she does that, hopefully she only told you the good things.” Kate continues to bunch up the papers, trying to avoid your gaze.

“Oh most definitely, I actually was hoping to meet you someday, you can tell you mean the World to her.” Kate smiles at this.

“Well you probably didn’t think we’d meet by my Dog taking you out for a ball, which I think he has found”. You turn to see Lucky rooting through your bag, most likely eating the snacks you packed rather than seeking his lost ball.

“Anyway, since I probably ruined your day, and my Mom will never let me hear the end of this. Can I take you out for a coffee, you know as a thank you for being so nice about this but also a sorry that my Dog doesn’t understand the words, ‘slow down’.”

You laugh at that part, giving Lucky a gentle pat, “Of course, I’d love to get a coffee with you, just let me clean up and we can go”.

Kate stands to let you clear away your belongings, she walks over to put Lucky on his lead, kneeling down and whispering to him, “You can have all the pizza you want when we get home, who’s a good boy for getting me a date”. She gives him plenty of face rubs as Lucky barks excitedly from the mention of his favourite food.

“Oh, you never told me your name.” Kate reminds you.

“My name is Y/n”.

“Wow, even your name is pretty”. Kate’s statement causes you to blush furiously.

This seems like the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

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