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Zehra Naqvi, from The Knot of My Tongue: Poems and Prose; “Grocery Shopping”

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this film is a masterpiece. it really made me cry watching the whole film. it made me realize a lot of things and taught a very enlightening lesson in life. i really admire mi-so and ha-eun friendship or bond. since they were a kid and especially when they grow up. tho there's something happened in their friendship ( bcs of that guy haha kidding ) it didn't make their friendship to break. plus, what makes their friendship so special is the unwavering support and understanding they provide for one another. despite of their own personal struggles and differences, mi-so and ha-eun are always there for each other, offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. they provide a safe space where they can be vulnerable and authentic, without fear of judgment or rejection. we witness the ups and downs of their lives, including heartbreak, career setbacks, and personal growth. butt through it all, their friendship remains a constant source of strength and solace. they celebrate each other's successes, console each other during difficult times, and push each other to become better versions of themselves. their friendship also highlights the importance of acceptance and forgiveness. mi-so and ha-eun have their fair share of disagreements and misunderstandings, but they always find a way to reconcile and move forward. they understand that friendships, like any relationship, require effort and compromise. their friendship showcases the power of unconditional love and support. they accept each other for who they are, flaws and all, and provide a safe haven where they can be their authentic selves. it would be really nice to have someone in our life that will always have our back and this film basically showed us that a soulmate can take any form in your life. it doesn't have to be your lover and in this case ( in the film ) it is a friend who know every single truth about the you, it's a someone who knows how to handle you, it's someone who make you feel seen and will always choose to stay with you no matter what. their portrayal shows that even the two person needed to go, to grow and live their lives separately, it doesn't mean knowing and loving that person less, but always being there for that person. plus i love ha-eun so much. i admire how she manage to be calm she is in every situation tho deep inside it makes her feel shjt. and how she act like naive but she actually know the whole truth, it's just that she just keep silent or she just keep it all to herself. and i somehow see myself on her, it's probably bcs she's kind of introverted and reserved, often unsure of herself and her abilities. just like her, i sometimes doubt my own worth or abilities nd i find it difficult to fully embrace my own potential. just like her, we both want to be like mi-so who manage to be free and wild, to do what ever she want. but anw, her character throughout the film is really inspiring since she learn how to overcome her insecurities and find her own path. it's just that it pains me so much when she died at the age of “27” haha. but as the core of this film, their bonds reminds me of the importance of having someone who understands us deeply and stands by our side, no matter what. their friendship serves as a reminder to cherish and nurture the relationships that bring joy, comfort, and understanding into our lives. this made me realize how many adventures i will go on before actually settling into adult life. the way mi-so did and the way ha-eun could if her life didn't end so unfortunately. the future is a actually scary but this is the reality of life and because of this film, i came to realize that if i truly believed in myself and is not afraid of what's to come in my life then it will definitely turn out to be an amazing story just like this one ( i hope ) or just make things more interesting i guess. and lastly, their bond as they are artist and the way that they draw each other especially when ha-eun draw mi-so is the unforgettable scene in the movie.

the acting and the cinematography is 💯

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why u always treat me like that. i never ask for it even once, why u always have to misunderstand everything about me. you always imprison me in everything that makes me feel happy and calm and then after that, what? u will get mad at me for acting and behaving like this. it's always been like this since i was a child, i'm always longing for the warmth of your love but now i don't think i can still look for it. u should be one of the reason why i'm happy, why i have to do better in my life but why just hearing the sound of your steps is enough to lose the happiness and hope that i have to myself. just hearing one of ur words is really enough to kill me. u make me feel so awful. it's always like this, im tired.

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i guess the words that i thought i would keep forever inside the box will be read and revealed someday.

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i dont want to be forever wonder around the graveyard. i dont want my heart to stuck forever in the dark clouds. i dont want, i dont want, but why—no matter how hard i tried to live in a fullest, to live in a life that i want, i cant. everywhere i go, i know i cant escape. i couldn't escape from the chain of blue. im always lost. i wonder— or perhaps i was really meant to be ruined forever . . . . (?)

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haru nangsspoil padulo pero oks lang pinili ko naman to ⛄

QHAHHEHSHSDHHXDBTSIFBBHA

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IM SO SINFUL

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THE ATMOSPHERE CHANGE SO FAST. IM JUST SCREAMING IN HPPNSS A WHILE AGO BUT NOW I WANT TO BE CHASE BY ZACK'S SCYTHE :DDDDDDDDDD OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

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im still wondering when i could rebuild my dreams that already collapse. its very hard since i found myself again in ghastly zone filled fear, doubt, discouragement, and despair. a dark place where all the failures and rejections of the world is there. trap is everywhere and its always there, im getting tired of it. like, you have to gathered all of your strength again and think of a way how to get out of it— a trap that im just the only one who made it for myself. but i dont know if im the one who really made it since im the one who is controlling my life, im the only one who make my own problems and make everything around me so complicated or god really plan to put it in our life? ok, what a stupid question. i think i lose my mind again but lemme wonder in this nonsense thoughts in my head. there's always a trap and instead of thinking a way to break it, i only settled on a dark corner as if im expecting something like a sheet of daylight will soon peak in to find me knowing that it will be impossible since its only ourselves can bring ourselves out of the dark place. for now its enough to me that theres still something in my heart— screaming that one day, those empty days i have it will soon filled with sweet sound of nature that is welcoming me. i no longer have to listen to the echo of “everything is too late”. but again its never and it will never be an easy to get out in a ghastly place that i set for myself.

shmn, how long u will stay in your graveyard of dead dreams (?)

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i hste when da cut is startijg to heal its fwking itchtyy

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people's love and kindness are so scary and i hate them. when people or there's someone who offering their hand to me, i refused to accept it. whenever they smile, greet and show kindness to me i always feel upset bcs i know that they were only doing that bcs they r obligated and it's not from their heart. those smiles aren't heartwarming to me, i only feel irritated when they smile bcs they remind me of the past that i want to forget. those smiles that feels like they were laughing inside their head and make fun of me. but ofc sometimes i hate myself for being like that, for thinking that way, but can u blame me ?:D. i actually used to be nice to people but now idk i just found myself snapping and almost hating at everyone. i always think that accepting their kindness only means letting myself to break again— break those walls that i've built for so many years. also, accepting those things r just only giving them a chance to manipulate me in the end—which is i don't want to experience again. i just want to close myself off from everyone so that i dont have to experience sm hurt, disappointment and rejection. what im experiencing rn is enough, its too much if i just let some of them to step inside of me easily. i only accept those people who still can see me even if im under a blue or grey skies. its only a way of protecting myself when i keep everyone at my arms length. accepting kindness and love are the scariest thing for me. people are so good at pretending and you wont realized that u gradually letting urself to break. i told to myself that i wont let my guard down anymr, i alr learned. although the experience of being chosen and especially valued is exciting and can bring happiness and fulfillment, at the same time, it can be frightening and the fear often translates into anger and hostility. basically, love is scary.

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i just realized that im still spending my life in amidst of struggle and uncertainty. wake up every day feeling stressed and go to bed feeling sad and empty. and if you are craving a harmony and peaceful life, you are either too busy or focusing your energy on the wrong things. *sigh*

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everything i worked for came to nothing. i hate dis month esp dis day, im so fcked up. i alr know that dis thing will happen but i didn't expect that — lol m cryn :DD i cant accept that. i hate myself for being irresponsible, im so sluggish. plus, the people around me r so disappointed nd pressuring me sm as if they know evrything i did. u guys dont know how frustrated nd drained i am evryday— that even sleeping isn't helping me anymre to rest bcs whenever i tried to close my eyes i feel guilty for da things that i didn't accomplished. u guys dont hav to say those ‘words’ to me bcs im also alr disappointed to myself.

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i miss giving my body and mind a rest; a 8 hrs sleep, waking up in the morning and feel the warmth of the sunlight in the window. i miss the days that i'm still drinking a 8 glass of water, eating enough in the right time. i miss the days that i still have a interest in everything i do especially in the things that i love. but one day, everything just appear grey, it feels like im living in a container where i can't even see the glimpse of light. i found myself exhausted in everything and don't have any hope left in my eyes. even drinking a water feels like a complicated task to do. even sleeping is scary because you don't know if you'll gonna dream those traumatic past again. this hopeless screams are overpowering the solace of the dawn. its just that everything is t i r i n g.

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my insides are freezing, every ounce of passion i have is boiling down to nothing. echoes of chasmic silence have surrounded me. i am overwhelmed by this sudden surge of intense self-loathing. by the strong rusty winds, my existence seems grounded. i am turning cold and fragile every second, and all i long for is a wake-up call. a call harsh enough to burn my freezing insides. i am sick of the urge that wants me to hit my head against the wall. cause now I am well aware of how in my head, the demonic hurting creature hides. i breathe in fear, it rushes through my blood so i could feel it in my bones and veins. anxiety is like my shadow that lingers with me everywhere i go, i feel burdened. feels like i am getting drenched alone in the nagging emptiness, the whole of me drains. even in the happiest of moments, everywhere is just a pain.

it's freezing inside here, waiting to freeze enough to stop it's beating.

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whenever i listened to ghibli songs especially to path of the wind, merry go round of life, and one summer's day, and in always with me, i tell to myself that i should live a life like that. i really wanna live in a peaceful place full of greenery scenes. birds gonna sing so brightly , butterflies will fly around and sip a nectar to my beautiful garden. my dogs and cats will just play around so lively. and i will bake a freshly bread and milk in the morning as soft as my favorite music plays while i look at my garden from inside. And me, I'll just gonna relax myself and enjoy my ‘me time’. I'll spend my life to focus on my own self, i don't want to be bothered by anyone. i wanna live a life that only i can only control.

oh ghad what a cozy life !