#but it was nice to put that exercise to good use tbh

[vhalesa]

Once again it was time to turn my friend's conversation into a silly mayakuro comic

[kitkat13001]

☆⋆｡𖦹° 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎!𝙻 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

>> l lawliet x reader

i feel like he’d thrive with a pet. he’s never had any exposure to animals so it’s definitely a new experience for him. i think the unpredictability of a cat would suit him. its irregular behavior keeps him on his toes, given his tendency to analyze patterns. he’d be very affectionate with a cuddly cat 

i think he would also like the loyalty of a dog. he needs stability in his life 🫶 and a cute little puppy that’ll grow w him is just perfect for him. plus, im sure it’d force him to exercise a little more (couldn’t hurt him tbh) w all the running after it he’d be doing

he watches true crime for background noise—if he actually sits down to watch it, he’ll figure it out in the first five minutes (if he didn’t already know the case outcome himself). he needs to multitask in order to genuinely enjoy it, so he usually puts it on while he cooks or cleans so he’s not dedicating his full focus to it and proceed to act like a mom watching a telenovela 

*gasp* “they found the body in the lake!”

“hmm…that was anticlimactic.”

“‘breaking news’? i had already figured that out three episodes ago.”

“oh, i worked this case!”

his cooking is shit at the beginning. you have to be patient with him. he goes in thinking bc he’s so smart it’ll come out good no matter what. (this is the case with a lot of activities he’s now discovering due to the new lifestyle). he is wrong. 

HOWEVER…he does improve with time. he’ll follow a recipe to perfection and study it until he gets it right. the only downside is his food tends to be on the more plain/bland side, so if you like strong flavors i’d keep seasonings handy. he grew up in england, what do you expect? he does excel at making sweets and baked goods though, those tend to come out more flavorful.

for all his previously normal ‘secrecy’ he’s actually a chronic oversharer. because you’re bonded for life now, he feels the need to tell you everything, all of the time. his brain runs a mile a minute and he voices pretty much every thought he has. 

“does the fan seem louder to you?”

”no, ryuzaki. go to bed.”

“but we’re not doing anything tomorrow, so we can sleep in. there’s no need to go to bed right this instant.”

“…”

“that won’t be the case next week, though, we’ve got that birthday dinner to attend.”

“…”

“dinner sounds nice enough, but i loathe the thought of shopping for a present. maybe—“

“ryuzaki. go. to. sleep.”

“hmph.”

similarly, he has a tendency to notice your patterns (he calls it a “detective’s habit”). he’s freakishly accurate with it too. sometimes it’s useful, like when he stops at the store to pick up your favorite snacks and hygiene products when he knows your time of the month is approaching. however, sometimes it’s…just weird

“darling, do you need to use the restroom?”

“um…no?”

“really? interesting. your diet hasn’t changed the last couple days, and you usually use the restroom at approximately this time for about 10 to 12 minutes every day.”

“…what the fuck?”

even though you’ve both changed your names in order to secure your identities and safety, he still calls you by your real name when it’s just the two of you. in public he prefers to call you pet names instead of your newfound aliases

he has no issues switching back n forth and he’d never slip up for fear of exposing you both, but he just tries to avoid calling you by your cover name. he feels a little guilty because if he was a ‘normal person’ you wouldn’t have had to undergo all these procedures just to be with him. he’s used to using different names for himself, but it makes him a little sour that you now have to do that too :(

speaking of sour, he’s a veeeryy jealous man. he’s not obnoxious or even outright about it, but he doesn’t like when other people get too close to you (physically and emotionally). part of it is him being paranoid that they “know something” about you, but part of it is just bc he’s just a clingy lil guy 🥺 and he just wants to be your only special guy

he’s like a territorial cat

he gets nightmares about the kira case and all of his other past cases. he doesn’t make a scene when he wakes up from them, but if you notice he’s awake don’t ask him about them. it’s unlikely he’ll answer you, and he’ll feel bad thinking he woke you up. just pretend to still be asleep and subtly cuddle closer

it coaxes him right back to sleep knowing you’re safe and sound beside him. if you’re brave you can ask in the morning, but it’s likely he’ll have forgotten the dream by then

pleeeeassee take up yoga with him. since he doesn’t need to be crouched in his heightened-deductive-skill position 24/7 anymore, it’s a worthwhile investment to fix his posture and his numerous back problems. he might enjoy the calmness and flexibility yoga provides

he might be open to the idea of children. according to canon, he only interacted with the wammy kids once very briefly, but i like to think he was fairly involved with the orphanages considering they were raising his successor. it only makes sense they’d need to get to know him at least a little—and it would explain why near’s mannerisms are so similar to his. 

i think contrary to popular opinion he would be good with kids—in his own special way. he’s not exceptionally cuddly, but he won’t reject affection either. and his intuition and reflexes are so keen that it’s not like the kid would ever be in danger. 

he’s such a homebody. i mean, we already knew that—but him being able to go out in public now has not changed his desire to want to be alone (w/ you)

he has mixed feelings about crowded places. on the one hand, the anonymity of it is kind of nice and it sets his mind at ease that no one will be able to recognize you two in such a swarm. but on the other, someone is touching him and all the noise n stuff sorta overstimulates his nervous system

the next best alternative? take him to places that are still public and out-and-about but a little more secluded. a corner booth in the back of a little restaurant, a sprawling botanical garden, an independent cafe that’s not overcrowded, etc 

HE CANT DRIVE LMAOOO. a helicopter is one thing but cars??? on the road??? with other cars?????!!! he cannot. he’s a MENACE. hopefully you can drive, but if not then it comes to public transportation 🤷‍♀️ 

[idontmindifuforgetme]

hi cianna sorry for the really broad question but it really smart and ur soul is beautiful and i think lowkey if i asked this irl people would get very worried so i’m asking u. any advice 4 a girl in her late teens who’s just now coming out of a 4-5 year long slump of wanting to kill herself real bad and now needs to be a functioning person and pass exams and go to university next year ect. ?

Hi this literally happened to me in my teen years!! I was not suicidal, but I def had a major slump I had to pull myself out of by uni. Here are some things I think could’ve worked better for me - feel free to disregard at your discretion/based on your circumstances :)

Get therapy!! Teenage me would’ve benefited from it so much. There are therapists who’d be happy to give you student discounts. You’ll be going through a lot of change - re learning how to take care of yourself, discovering your boundaries, battling regret for wasting time etc etc… it’s just better to go through it w a professional who would show you compassion but also push you to improve. It’s not a substitute for real friendships, but it absolutely helps

Ignore people who will tell you they peaked in hs (lol). This will be a lot of people btw. You’ll get major fomo bc you’ll be like?? I didn’t do any of that. I was too busy surviving. I won’t have things to look back at the way they do. But that’s where the uphill battle of saying no to fomo comes in - you have to remind yourself that you’re at the beginning of your life, that you could completely turn it around in college, and peaking in hs is like actually sad and that what matters is the life you make for yourself moving forward

People (family and teachers) want to help. So let them

Push yourself but don’t overcorrect. The antidote to not having friends is not overextending yourself and saying yes to everything and having no boundaries and burning out. Pace yourself. Trying to become someone completely different is also a sign you don’t like yourself very much

You have to aggressively combat the self hatred and re affirm to yourself day by day that you deserve good things and that you are enough and that you don’t need other people to imbue your life and give it dimension. They are a nice bonus but it’s all in you

Hot take but be careful w self help content. It preys on people in vulnerable stages (like you) and is easy to get addicted to

I don’t know where you stand w your phone, but decrease phone time. It’s very personal to everyone how they can accomplish this, so research all the different methods and apply what best fits you / what you think you can stick by best!

Cliche advice is true - getting out of the slump starts w things like a simple skincare routine and an outfit you feel good in

Say yes to things more often. Try to approach people more often, even if it gives you rejection sensitivity. I wish I did this more tbh - I think I did put myself out there but was inconsistent. No “social fuck ups” will matter at your age so just try to learn as much as you can

You have to contextualize this hard time period of your life as a learning experience that gave you a sort of depth that is rarely seen in most people. It wasn’t all for nothing — it shaped you into you

You’re defined by who you are and the values you have — not the person you used to be. The imposter syndrome in you might be like “everyone knows I was xyz girl who didn’t talk to anyone and could not even turn an assignment in on time,” but what are you now? Are you trying to befriend people now? Getting a lot better at managing your time now? Doing really good in school now? That’s who you are.

Unconventional advice but get a cute job at a library or a cafe or something. It will re introduce discipline into your system and acquaint you w people your age

Exercise really really really really really helps. It can start simple but it has to be started

Research programs you want to get into. Make a game plan in accordance to that. Talk to your advisor about it

Join clubs in college :) talk to people but don’t overextend yourself if they don’t reciprocate - you have plenty of time to make friends :)

Journal more. It helps!!!!

The world is not out to get you

Cliche but true - reading helps so much. Even just one book at a time at your own pace. Luckily I was reading so much in my teen years but I’m telling u this in case it’s not really part of ur palette

What’s the hobby that really speaks to your soul?? Aggressively pursue it

Romanticizing simple things helps tbh

Do not hate yourself into getting better!! You were just a child who did the best they can w the cards they were dealt. Now you’re saying enough to passive living and making active effort to get out of your slump — and that matters more than anything. You will experience the FOMO and the regret and the “why didn’t I do xyz when I was younger.” Everyone does, but for you it will be exacerbated bc you’ll feel like you wasted an epoch of your life everyone else romanticizes. This is where therapy and radical acceptance come in — and also just brutally reminding yourself of the facts, including how you’re so very incredibly young. Time is on your side and you can do anything you want

I’m so proud of you for taking the first step — which is understanding the problem!! I know I wasn’t that brave at your age. Good luck with everything xx

[as-if-and-only-if]

I'm interested in forming a sort of...math & physics reading group network. well, with some very important modifications to the concept of "reading group".

for example, right now, I'd like to learn algebraic geometry, qft, and/or refresh myself on representation theory with someone—maybe just one or two people—meaning that traditionally, we'd pick a text for one of these topics, discuss the material (asynchronously or synchronously?), exchange exercises, etc.

but currently (being Between Institutions), my best bet is posting on tumblr. and that's a pretty good bet, tbh! there are a lot of us here!

though, wouldn't it be great if there were a way to coordinate groups like this across institutions? you make a post proposing a group, specifying your goals and constraints...

even that would be a boon. but I think the concept of a "reading group" itself could be changed in interesting ways. this is what I'm really interested in.

there are variations among reading groups themselves already. sometimes you have directed reading groups, where someone already knows the material and "leads" it; some people are looking for more or less people involved; and there are probably things to explore for making sure that reading groups stick through it instead of falling apart when some motivation flags. default meeting times help with this, for example.

there are many experiments to be done! I think lessons for group-making can be taken from a maybe-surprising source: theater. there are a lot of things that make groups which put on shows more robust and rewarding than reading groups. a sense of building to something; many factors that create informal group cohesion (e.g. such a structure should make sure it creates more-informal "cafe" time in addition to more-formal "practice" time, just as rehearsal in physical spaces facilitates that casual sort of interaction on its periphery); ways to get into the right headspace during discussions (just as warm-ups do in theater; the engagement with this material is an event); clear goals (e.g. "understand ___"); successive shared accomplishments...to that end I wonder if it makes sense to form math troupes, which do successive reading groups together, drawn from its members.

it might be useful to envision some sort of public-facing artifact created as the culmination of this learning, whether a presentation, or an article, or some novel application or research...the crucial question is: how do we choose a goal that we find meaning in?

one idea, for example, is to have a collection parallel reading groups learning different things, and end by presenting to each other! that way we know what we learn will be meaningful to others, too, from the beginning. in general, I think it's important to feel that our own development of insight and understanding can be meaningful to others and to the group. it's nice to participate; it's nice to be able to offer something that is valued. what form can this take? how can you set up the interactions such that everyone has a part to play, and so this meaningfulness is tangled up in participation in the group?

I've also got a couple of ideas for "activities" that let us engage, re-engage, and play with the concepts we're learning with each other, beyond the text itself. how can we give ourselves the opportunity to toss around the concepts we're learning? I believe that the fun ultimately comes from the understanding itself, and therefore that any group exercise which lets us effectively play with the ideas will be fun.

it's a lot to ask people to come up with structure like that themselves, but using a pre-existing structure is not so difficult! sort of like how it's hard to make a TTRPG itself, so simply saying "go off and roleplay" isn't that helpful, but it's easy to use the structure of an existing one to run a game.

you might say, well, the existing form of a reading group is fine. okay! existing reading group structures can be low-stakes, relaxed, and accessible...but they can also fall apart easily (especially when not tied to an institution, in my experience), and you have to get lucky to find a truly rewarding one. I find reimagining our mechanisms of learning pretty exciting, and I think the space of ways to learn math with each other is underexplored at this level (emphasis on the with each other). there's a lot of potential!

anyway! reply or tag with "!" if this is something you could maybe be interested if done well? or if you're at least curious! I'm just taking a temperature. :)

[thebibliosphere]

What is the gameplay like on Gotham Knights? I have poor coordination so I have trouble with anything more complex than LOZ: Ocarina of Time. Like, on a scale of Pokémon->Dragon Age->LOZ->Dark Souls?

It's a bit clunky like Dragon Age 2, tbh. Except it doesn't have the excuse of coming out in 2011. The mechanics and camera controls are one of the things that let it down a lot, IMO.

I’m constantly getting stuck on walls and the edge of ledges because the controls feel laggy and the game’s not consistent about which surfaces you can climb and which ones you need to grapple. It's fine if you’re fighting in more open spaces but it turns the timed events into an exercise in frustration. Not to mention the number of times it feels like I’ve taken damage through an obstacle from enemy ranged attacks when my own ranged attacks bounce off invisible walls if I’m not standing in the exact spot the game needs me to be in. This results in me just key smashing melee a lot until every around me stops twitching.

I’m still enjoying it, but it is v. glitchy and I understand why people are leaving angry reviews. Especially if they are deeply committed to the immersive elements and were expecting the same level of polish from the Arkham games, which this studio also made.

I’m just casual enough a gamer that I’m enjoying muttering “parkour” to myself as I accidentally fall off buildings and plumet to my death because my graple hook glitched out and went the exact opposite way I’d been aiming.

I’m really just playing it for the characters. It feels like playing a a game written by people who understand the appeal of found family that went hard on the campier elements of the franchise while still maintaining a decent level of aching sadness for the tragedy they’ve endured.

You can feel the group fracturing under the weight of Bruce’s death with Dick doing everything he can to fill the void and stay positive and “normal” for the sake of everyone around him, including Alfred who is devastated but also trying to keep it together. Barbara, mourning an extra loss, is trying so hard to stay level headed and useful for Dick. Being both Oracle and Batgirl while also acting like a fun big sister to Tim who stands out as really young in this iteration.

Sure he’s a kid genius, but he’s also only 16 with a monumental caffeine addiction (you can’t tell me all the energy drinks on the shopping list pinned to the fridge aren’t for him) and mourning the loss of Bruce while also just wanting to do normal teenage shit, like asking the group for help with his art homework and being annoyed that his role as Robin is keeping him from spending time with his online boyfriend.

Jay is very raw and angry and obviously processing his own trauma on top of everything that just happened but even he steps up, trying to be there for Tim, teaming up with Babs to gently pick on Dick when he’s being particularly Boy Wonder-ish. Seeing him stress cook is also a nice added touch as are the photos of him and Bruce working on stuff. Bonding.

Which is another thing I Love. From what we see of him, Bruce is in his absolute DILF element in flashbacks and in recordings. All sad smiles and a gentle, head-shaking tolerance for the absolute ribbing the kids put him through for being too serious and neglecting himself. Not to mention all the pictures of him with Dick and Tim and Jason. And so many of him and Alfred and Ace. (The one on the fridge of him and Alfred showing them adopting Dick at the courthouse almost killed me. They all looked so young and happy.)

I’m getting serious “Bruce is a good dad with a warped sense of humor who hugs his kids and spends quality time with them, actually, and you’re wrong if you write him otherwise” fanon vibes, and that's honestly my favorite Bruce.

It’s basically appealing to everything I love about the franchise while scratching an itch in my brain the way crackfic taken seriously does.

And that’s enough to make me forgive the bad controls and glitches. But I could see it not being enough for some people, especially if you’ve already got poor hand eye coordination. Which I do. But again, I don’t really care about being good at games. I’m just dicking around and having fun wringing dopamine out of the narrative.

[asumofwords]

Ok lets talk about the important thing here:

How do you think Aemond, Aegon, Daemon and Cole dicks are?

🤔

Okay this is a really important question that I must answer.

And since my brain only ever thinks and imagines these things, and in my experience I have a fairly good eye for guessing (hands give it allll awayyyyy), let me begin 😈

Aemond’s cock would be long and have a nice thickness to it, I wouldn’t say he would be massively girthy, but I feel like your hand couldn’t wrap around it completely 😈.

His tip would be a blush pink, the same colour as his lips. He would occasionally trim the hair around the base, and that man is definitely veiny 🤤 I feel like he would be a good 6-7 inches long and very clean 🤤

There’s just something about skinny men, they always have a horse cock.

He has the perfect size dick (although to be fair, I actually hate long cocks because they hurt my cervix lmao) and he knows what to do with it. It has a slight upwards curve, a gift from the gods truly.

His cum would be salty, and quite nice to swallow down. It wouldn’t be gross or foul tasting, this man has a strict diet, and exercises often !

Aemond is clean and makes sure to take good care of his cleanliness and appearance, prim and proper like his attire.

Where Aemond has length, Aegon has girth.

He would sit around 5-6 inches long and super fucking girthy, not a chode, but quite thick. It would stretch you uncomfortably or painfully if you didn’t prep first. His tip would be the same colour as his lips but would get a deeper shade of pink and look angry when he’s horny.

I feel that he wouldn’t be too veiny, though would have some very soft foreskin to nibble on and I feel a bit extra tbh💀

Aegon is one of those fuckers who can cum and keep going, must run in the family. Absolute menace too, despite his cruelty, man knows how to make you squeal. He’s a whore, he fucks whoever, whenever, and has learnt tricks along the way.

Man definitely has a dick that smells like a dick. Not exactly the cleanest of cocks, musky as fuck, salty too, and his cum would be rancid because his diet consists of just alcohol and scraps of food lmao.

Definitely used one of his many dildo toys on himself or will use it on you instead, or make you use it on yourself and have him watch 😮‍💨

Aegon could dissolve your insides with his spunk. Acidic as fuck, a one way highway to thrush or BV. Hits good tho….

Daddy Daemon has a monster cock.

I’m not joking. Look at the size of this man. And his hands ? Huge. HUGE. I’m not joking. I’ve seen it. Anyway, back to his cock.

Daemon has a dick around 8-9 inches long and fat as fuck, he’s got a meaty cock.

A third leg. A tripod if you will.

Poor Rhaenyra is getting her guts rearranged every time he fucks her. She needs 3-5 business days to recover from the sheer force of the thing.

Pale and veiny, when hard his foreskin pulls back to reveal a gentle pink tip (same as his lips). Clean and well kept, Daddy Daemon’s cum tastes like when the heavens have opened and you have been offered retribution. Sometimes sweet, depending on what he has eaten.

Would absolutely be open to the idea of being pegged and anal play. Loves having his ass eaten ngl. This man is a freaky queer daddy 😈

Shoots fucking ropes though, you’ll be leaking for days!

Ser Criston Cole deserves no praise, but I would be lying if I said he didn’t have a pretty cock.

Tan, and a bit on the longer side like Aemond, this man would not know what to do with it. A sin really, to have such a pretty cock, and not use it.

A slightly more tanned knob, leaning to a soft purple colour, average thickness and the occasional vein, upwardly curved for your pleasure.

Ser Cole’s cock would be as clean as a whistle. I feel like Cole would definitely let you put a finger inside his ring, maybe too, and he would blush so pretty about it.

His bush would be soft as fuck too, have you seen this man’s hair ? Lush as fuck, looks like it should be in a hair commercial ad, and velvety smooth. I wouldn’t mind getting some of those hairs tangled up in my nose 🤪💀

His cum would be musky, yet not repugnant like Aegon. He eats well and is always moving so it wouldn’t be marinating inside of him, though I wonder if he empties the tank often or not, or if he actually is fermenting his seed 🤪

[nicistrying]

Tues 3rd December

My uterus has finally stopped trying to murder me, so yesterday Matt walked Maggie so I could stretch and do some v gentle core work in the morning. It felt good to move ❤️ Work was fine, it's always nice to work at home on a Monday rather than having to commute. Veggie sausages with roast veg and homemade onion gravy for dinner 🤌

Today, I walked Mags and we met the girlies ✨️ Wandered around in the dark getting all the good smells, and saw some more friends on the way home. So from feeling really groggy and gross when I woke up I felt much better after seeing sweet puppies and some exercise. Managed to do 2 sets of a relatively light arm workout. It was tough with her looking at me like this though 🥺

Worked, took her out to play at lunchtime, and she was sooo good - there is an old man we sometimes stop to chat to, and he has his grandson's sharpei that he walks. The sharpei is always on his leash, and Maggie freaks out that they can't play properly and gets too boisterous for him. She can't just say hello and then walk away 🙄 so the old man was waving me over to chat and I told her to sit and stay and bless her heart she just lay down a little way away from me, the old man and the other dog and watched us very politely until I went back to her. I was so proud 🥹🥹 she got lots of praise and treats bc if it's not an option to take her somewhere with me that will trigger her, the next best thing is to know I can trust her to stay put while I go myself. We do this when I need to put her poop in the bin too. She sits and watches while I go up to the road to bin it bc if she comes with me she wants to chase cars that come by. Like she is so obedient, but just gets so overwhelmed by her triggers that she can't listen. It's not ideal and by some people's standards she's a bad, aggressive dog but tbh she just has boundaries. It doesn't look nice to people with chill dogs but this is the gremlin we got so we try to work with it 😂

Matt was home by the time we got back, we all had our advent treats, and worked downstairs together. I picked up some Christmas presents from the shopping centre, we had more sausages & veg, and I squeezed in the last set of my arm workout before my bath. Slowly getting back into it. For now I think I have to just work with what my body can manage. Genuinely 3 days ago I could not have done a pushup I was in so much pain. Trying not to beat myself up and just go with the flow, push hard when I am physically able to, try to keep moving in any way at all when I feel like I'm dying.

Now bedtime 🙌

[terresdebrume]

I am back home from work and reader, I have more reports bullshit to share

Context:

No deadline has been shared for the vetting of those reports until about 8 this morning, when we were told today was the last day to finish our vetting

Around 11, I finish what I believe to be my last round of vetting

The aforementioned bullshit with English Teacher 2 happened during my lunch break

Our work day finishes at 4:30

At about 2:55, I receive a gdocs notification from H (the asshole who backstabbed me for the timetables, who is now in France but somehow still in charge of editing all the report cards) which consists of a ping and the automated mention "Assigned to you". This is in the file for another class, and associated with the "Students' reflections" section

(Students reflections are an exercise in good PR where the kids have to explain how cool our school is, what virtues they embodied this year, and what their sins were) (I'm the one adding "sins" here, but virtues is the exact word used there btw)

I send a message in the secondary group chat asking why this is suddenly appearing since editing students' reflections is the job of their homeroom teacher (I certainly don't put any of my kids' words on the report without looking at them and letting them know what edits I made and why). Answer from H: we overlooked it and we're adding it now

I (heroically) refrain from pointing out his communication is as shitty and disrespectful as ever and, merely say that several things were changed in the vetting process at the last minute and without communication, and it would be nice to have something prepared that we stick to next time. However, anticipating bullshit (and also having noticed that some tasks that were initially assigned to me + another teacher were now under my name only) I print a pdf version of the document detailing the vetting process. At this point, it is 3:13.

Enter J, who sends a message in reply to mine in the group chat saying all of it was shared before with a link to the aforementioned vetting process detail, where a mention of the students' reflections has suddenly appeared. I'm so angry I get confused and initially apologize for my misreading, before double checking my pdf version

At this point it's about 3:27. I check the info from the file: Modified by H at 3:22.

I was so fucking angry I got this close to cry tears of rage in front of my students tbh

[bonesandthebees]

ive been both really busy and also not? hahah but ive been good!! i've been mostly working. today was crazy actually, someone walked into the vet with a bearded lizard?? that they found ?? at the local park?? someone had just abandoned their lizard there ig which was really sad but im glad someone found it and was able to help it!! also the person who found it was a vet tech themselves who used to have bearded lizards so that's good hahahah they were v prepared

our doctor unfortunately doesn't take any exotics so we had to send them to a diff vet but it was cool to see the lizard, he was very sweet and friendly EUEUUEUE

but yeah other than work? mostly just been writing which has been super nice. this is the first year im properly tackling whumptober!! normally i just. pick and choose my fav prompts LMAOO but this year im actually writing for each prompt every day and i've done all 7 days so far!! im super proud of myself rahshshs

i went to my first social dance a couple weekends ago!! that was super funn

i cannot remember if i told you, but i started doing west coast swing lessons!!! since i took a gap year of school while waiting to apply for the vet tech program, i was like "welp i need some sort of hobby that gets me out of the house" so i didnt stew in bad mental health n stuff and i decided to try dance! i'd seen vids of it on my youtube shorts a lot and it always looked so... freeing. and i thought doing something that involved physical activity would be a good idea too since exercise is good for mental health!!

and woww i love it way more than i was expecting HAHHAHASDKFJJK it's so so fun and it really does feel like flying (when you do it with an experienced lead lol, so not always but the times where it's happened i cherish v much <3) and the people?? are all so nice???? like wow i was a bit nervous when i first started but everyone is so welcoming and understanding and super fun to talk to and it's a very accepting environment of queer ppl and i just RAHSHS ITS SOOO LOVELY BEE OH MY GOSHH

but yeah!! so ive been doing that sinceee march but i had yet to go to an actual dance, i'd only done lessons bc i was really nervous lol but also bc its on the weekends and thats when i go visit my mom so its hard to find time. but i finally decided to go no matter what last time (which yeah. almost canceled bc i ended up having two other meetups that day?? it was busy) and im really glad i went it was super fun.

just hoping i can convince one of my friends to go with me one day lol

oh no I'm so sad that someone abandoned their beardie :((( thank god someone found it though and wanted to make sure it was okay. so many people would just leave it so that little guy got lucky with that at least. I love bearded dragons, one of my teachers in high school had one she named Mushu and she would let him just run around the room during class sometimes. he was adorable.

ooooo I hope you're having fun with whumptober!!! you're stronger than me I've never attempted to do all the prompts for something like that. I struggle so much already with keeping things short and I also don't do great with prompts but I admire everyone who can dedicate themselves to that. it's such good writing practice as well

oh that class sounds lovely. tbh it really shows you have a LOT of self awareness to recognize that not only do you need something to get you out of the house, but taking the steps to sign up for a class with physical activity for your mental health. that's really great and you're going to thank yourself later for putting yourself out there like that. and that sounds so much fun!!! manifesting you get one of your friends to join you one day

(also this reminds me I really need to get back in the habit of going to my yoga and other exercise classes. I fell out of it after I got back from my europe trip this summer so I need to get my ass in gear again)

[mizkit]

new blog post: physical therapy and stuff

new blog post on https://mizkit.com/physical-therapy-and-stuff/

physical therapy and stuff

A few weeks ago my husband, who is suffering from tendonitis in his achilles, went to have his feet scanned and better insoles found and stuff, and thought it was interesting enough that I should do the same. Especially because I have stupidly wide feet, although as it turns out, they’re apparently only wide, not STUPIDLY wide. That’s something, I guess? Except they remain too wide for most women’s shoes, so, y’know, oh well.

Anyway, so I went in and did this thing and it was in fact interesting. I, uh, overpronate slightly on my left foot (which means it rolls in a bit too much) and underpronate slightly on my right foot (which means it rolls out a bit too much). I suspect the latter is due to having stepped on the dog’s bone very, very hard a couple of years ago and having only extremely recently having fully healed from that. Knock on wood. So on my list of things to do now is exercises to correct my various pronation issues, because I’ve been SO GREAT at exercising in general, right? Right. Feh.

More interesting, though, was that apparently I put like ALL my weight on my heels when I’m standing, so now I have fancy insoles that help to keep me from doing that. I’ve had them about a week now and they’re starting to not hurt my feet as much, and I’m certainly more conscious about where I’m holding my weight, which is the idea. But because I stand on my heels so hard, I guess, she was like, “You get shin splints, yeah?”

Me: uh, no, basically never

her: like when?

me: like…maybe if i’ve walked A LOT?

her: what’s ‘a lot’?

me: IDK, 10+KM? (altho tbh i’ve done 15 & 17km days in the past week and no, i just don’t get shin splints.)

her: oh ok yeah no

But while she was bending my feet around to examine them, she also said, “You have REALLY flexible feet!” Which, IDK, I sort of assume that’s from dancing in my callow youth, but whatever the reason, apparently it’s genuinely pretty unusual.

And it reminded me that my PT has commented any number of times on the fact that regardless of what other issues I’m having, I have “great feet!” I guess people’s feet aren’t bendy? Or they get tense? IDK, who knew? But she’s always like “ok let’s look at your feet…oh, ok, moving on.” So I guess I’ve learned something about my anatomy compared to most peoples’. :)

I also took a REALLY LONG DAY to go see said PT, who lives on the other side of the country, but I love her very much and she really gives me a good workover, so for a birthday present to myself I, uh, got up at 4:30am, rode a train for 9 hours, spent 90 minutes getting worked over, and got home in the middle of the night.

On one hand, you’d think I have TERRIBLE ideas about what to do as a birthday treat for myself, but on the other, my GOD it was worth it. It was so worth it that despite 9 hours on trains I still actually felt great when I got home.

Despite having not seen her in almost a year, I was apparently in pretty good nick. Certainly the bits I was most anticipating being extremely terrible were not all that bad, which I attribute to the exceptionally pathetic attempts at stretching I’ve been indulging in the past couple of months. I mean, at least I’ve done something, apparently.

I do need to find a yoga class, though, because one of the problems with being responsible for my own stretching is I get bored really fast, so I don’t do as much as I should. Although in my defense, I signed up for a local yoga studio’s newsletter MONTHS ago in hopes of being told when the next classes start, but apparently they don’t use it. I’ve just found their stupid facebook page, though, so I’ll follow that and try to get in on the next round.

So anyway, for the moment, not feeling entirely terrible about myself, which is kinda nice. :)

[the-crow-binary]

Hi! I hope you don't mind me asking, but how do you draw anatomy? It looks really good.

Oh. 🥺 Hello. 🥺 It's okay I don't mind 🥺 And thank you, it means a lot to me 🥺🥺🥺 Here's a messy, quickly-done guide of how I do it

Generally, my bases are even messier than that lol

I always start with a circle for the head and then draw from there. Even if I always end up modifying it, it's a good start (the circle doesn't have to be perfect, nor does it have to be a circle lol, unless you want to draw a bald person with a perfectly round head). I can't really explain the proportions for the torso because I always draw it based on how good it looks, and if it doesn't look too long or too short. With time and experience it just became natural. But I do still sometimes uses little clues for the members such as the arms and legs, based on the torso, to keep it all well-proportioned.

I drew only slender bodies here because the clues I wrote are basically the same for all body types, and it's also the body type I draw the most lol (with the only twist being that I had a little bit of muscles sometimes, wich shows with slightly bigger/rounds pecs, rounder arms, visible abs...) Here's an example of one of the very few muscular characters I drew (i just added the red lines)

The chest and back are much bigger, the arms much rounder, every muscle is more visible, but the elbow stil reach the hip, you still can put one head between the head and one shoulder (the shoulders are just larger), and the hands still cover the face.

If I can give one advice to how to learn to draw the muscles, it would obviously be to use references. I still use some today tbh, especially for the most muscular body types that I don't draw often. One thing that is nice, and that you can use to learn to draw anything, not just human anatomy, is to trace pictures and make your own base out of it. Example:

(found the picture on pinterest)

Now you draw your base however you like, what fits you the best. The goal of this exercise is not to mindlessly trace a form and then draw whatever you want on top, but to understand the forms you are learning to draw, so you can progress. I used a clothed model here but a half/completely naked one works better lol (well, depending on what you are trying to learn). I could've put more details in my own base (such as drawing the parts hidden by the hands and arms to fully get the forms it's suppose to have), but that's just an example. I use digital pictures because I'm on ipad (and have been drawing on computer for a few years before that) but if you draw on paper, you could very well use pictures from books, comics, etc... you can use any source, any media and any style (if it's drawn). Just keep in mind to give credit if you ever post your exercise online!

Of course you can also draw on a blank piece of paper while looking at and trying to replicate the picture, wich is also a good exercise, but tracing might be easier to learn the anatomy, especially at first. This being said, there's a plethora of guides out there and examples of bases, but that's how I do it and learned! Just add a lot of practice and a few blood sacrifice :')

[edai-crplpnk]

hey! just wanted to say an extra thank you for the naruto stuff you've written. I apologize in advance for some of the wording here because uh. language stuff.

tbh, lots of the things you write I cannot stomach to casually read without extra mental preparation because it handles so many things that hit so close to the home that I genuinely reread every sentence over and over again, and it's like going through my own thoughts and memories and uncertainties every time I read your works. but like, you describe everything so fucking well. it's like you get deep into my brain and dig out everything that I couldn't have possibly put into words, but yet there they are, I'm reading it, you wrote that stuff, I'm... in awe. I just wanted to say thank you for your writing. many of your interpretations of nart characters is so close to me that I relate to them sm, not even just psychological shit but like. war bullshit and the way you seem to understand it and the like, I'm genuinely so amazed to read my own thoughts laid out so well written by someone I don't know?? you are amazing, keep doing what you're doing, and thank you once more. I'm rooting for you!!

Thank you for your message, it means a lot 💓

I know for me it's really not always easy to be sure when I read "sensitive" fiction if it's like "this is challenging but also it's doing me some good and it's nice feeling less alone and putting words on stuff even if it can feel intense and painful at times" or more "reading this is self-harm I'm triggering myself on purpose for a bad reason". It's way easier now but definitely it's been an issue for me when I first started reading fanfiction, so I'm glad to hear you try and find the good mindset to read my works (even if I know it's far from a foolproof process). It's work to figure out one's boundaries, and take care of oneself. Kudos to you for tackling it!

Writing for me is a lot like what you say, I think. It's an exercise of taking an instinctive feeling and breaking it down and dissecting it until I feel like I understand how the mechanics inside work and maybe I can explain it. A lot of my writing process is telling my boyfriend "I don't know how to make the character do this/how this character feels about this/if this character would do this or rather that" and then talking to myself for 3k words and ending by "oh I guess I do get it now" haha.

There's a piece from Pierre Reverdy that I like a lot about what art is that goes "The artistic shock is of a different nature than the shock of ideas, which bring from the outside something that we didn't know and now learn, it is the revelation of something that we already had in us, and only lacked the words to tell it to ourselves."

I love when people say things like what you say here, because I think it's fundamentally what writing is to me. It's how writing makes me feel for myself, how it helps me process a lot of things often, and it's very precious when I get to know that it's what it feels for some others too.

Anyway, thank you again for your lovely message. We're in this together!

[shinra-makonoid]

In a lot of cases, exercice does in fact help, I'm not sure I know of a chronic illness that isn't helped by exercice to be fair. Your bones and articulations will give you pain if you don't exercice. Your muscles will be stuck and uncomfortable and hurt if you don't exercice. Your heart and lungs will be less ok if you don't exercice. Your mental health suffers from not exercising. We need to move just like we need to breathe, eat, drink and sleep. Exercice has been linked to less pain in general, and it works for things that usually don't work with meds, like for example fibromyalgia.

The meaning that you put behind "exercice" doesn't need to be high or heavy. Cleaning your house is exercice. Cooking is exercice. Stretching is exercice (and a very good one at that, probably one of the best if you can't really move a lot). Walking in the street is exercice. Climbing stairs is exercice. Singing is exercice. Gardening is exercice. What matters is that you find the exercice that is corresponding to what you can do and what you're willing to give, something you can manage to keep doing and enjoy doing. It's infinitely better if you do 30 mins gardening every two days rather than one 30 mins run every 2 years because it took you one week for your body to recover from your run that you hated with all your gut the whole 30 mins of it. There is absolutely no need to do something you hate, and there is absolutely no need for you to struggle or hurt while doing it, it doesn't have to be long, you don't have to perform, or prove anything, or be seen by anyone if you don't want to.

It doesn't have to be 60 reps of push ups, doesn't have to be 100lbs of dumbells, doesn't have to be running, it doesn't have to be yoga. And let me tell you as someone who didn't run for so so so long, it took me at least 6 months of running once every week for 30 mins before I could stop hurting everywhere from my feet to my ankles to my lower back after a session, because my body was not used to it, and running, especially on concrete, is very traumatic for the body (and tbh I don't recommend it). It takes such a long time to remake your body in a way that can handle some intense exercices, like legit months, sometimes years. But every little bit that is conquered and done, even if it's a walk of 5 mins in the street every week, will be a net positive in the long run.

When you haven't done exercice for a while, it is traumatic for your body to go through it again. Bones for example are shaped by exercice/movements and are cued to grow and fix itself through exercice, but it takes a long time to actually shape the bones and make it fix itself and grow stronger. So if you stopped exercising for a long time, your bones will not handle it the way someone who's used to those movements is. It takes time, you have to go extremely slow and listen to your body. But it will most probably make your life easier on the long run and help against your chronic illnesses and your pain. It most probably won't cure you, but it might prevent more issues, more pain, more difficulties, and will probably give you more autonomy with years (whether it's from muscles, bones, heart, lungs or brain).

It's not a bad thing we encourage people to exercice, we just gotta be mindful about what we mean when we say exercice. Because yes, someone who cannot go out of the door of their apartment and hasn't been doing so for 3 years won't be going running any time soon or doing complicated yoga poses, and nobody should expect that and it's even dangerous to expect that.

And if you don't know where to begin, here's a possibility, he's nice and shows different levels, and it's in his kitchen:

If you don't like it, don't do it. I for one would never do the one that is on the picture because I find it extremely uncomfortable. Pick and choose what you want to do, don't complete everything, do your own things that feel ok, stop whenever you feel like it. Find what works and what you enjoy, test things out and don't be too hard on yourself. Set the lowest bar that you could possibly imagine, forgive yourself if you fail, find out why it didn't work and adjust to your body's/brain capacities. Find people who will accompany you in it (community helps). Treat yourself when you did something, even if it's minimal to yourself. It has to make you feel free and not make you feel trapped.

If you're interested in getting to know what kind of exercice you should be doing according to your issues and illnesses, please talk to your doctor about it. They might have ideas to help.

we as a society have got to stop prescribing exercise as a universal cure for chronic illness. yes exercise can be extremely beneficial for certain chronic conditions, especially under the guidance of a physical therapist or physiotherapist. how and ever acting like exercise will undoubtedly reduce the symptoms of every single chronic illness on the face of the planet just isn't it. exercise is even known to worsen the symptoms brought about by certain illnesses and disabilities, and can have detrimental effects if not approached with the utmost care. 'exercise can be beneficial for certain conditions' well yes. 'exercise will have a 100% positive impact on any and all chronic illness' no no nope and also no

[laughingplant]

Personal Details

Well, since I'm going to use this to improve, I guess I need to be honest first with what I want to achieve and where I am at currently. As of right now, I am a woman in my early 20s who is 5'8/9 and I weigh about 165-170 give or take the week. It puts me at roughly 25.

According to the BMI classification:

Underweight: BMI less than 18.5

Normal weight: BMI 18.5 to 24.9

Overweight: BMI 25 to 29.9

Obesity: BMI 30 or greater

So I am right on that marker. My goal is to be at a body marker around 20 since it would be a nice in-between for it. That would mean I'd need to be 140 Lbs instead which is roughly a 30-25 pound weight removal.

I do feel like this is achievable, especially for my young age. If I develop good, healthy habits now, it would be a lot better than waiting until later.

At the moment, I don't really own a lot of workout gear beyond a treadmill, (which I love tbh. I wish I could've taken it with me to college but I was on the 3rd floor and didn't want to bother anyone below me.) which I will use as a key component of it all. So with that, I can use it as a main starting base and maybe do 30-minute treadmill and 30-minute arm workouts? Just food for thought. I have a playlist I used to use constantly when I was younger that I'll use again. GPT also gave me these things to focus on largely:

Hydration: Keep a water bottle or thermos with tea nearby to ensure you drink throughout the day. Aim for 16 cups (1 gallon) of fluid daily.

Variety: Mix up your workouts. Incorporate different types of exercise such as dancing, swimming, or cycling to keep things interesting.

Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness or meditation for at least 5-10 minutes daily to help manage stress and maintain mental health.

Sleep: Ensure you get at least 7-8 hours of sleep every night. Create a relaxing bedtime routine to improve sleep quality.

Flexibility: Allow some flexibility in your schedule. It's okay to switch things up if needed. The key is consistency over time, not perfection every day.

Journaling: Use your journal to reflect on your progress, jot down creative ideas, and note any challenges or achievements.

Pretty basic ideas, but some of them are new, which I think I'll enjoy. I'll probably drink mostly tea for my daily fluids since I've grown to appreciate the stuff a lot since college. I don't add anything except sometimes lemon crystals so it is a healthy alternative.

This is the rough concept of my plan, the following being the more detailed routine by day and times:

Weekly Schedule

General Daily Routine

Wake-up Time: 6:00 AM

Bedtime: 10:00 PM

Monday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning stretch/yoga (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time outdoor activity or hobby

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner 

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Tuesday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning walk (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch (Grilled Chicken Salad)

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time – visit a local park or nature walk

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Wednesday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning stretch/yoga (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time – visit a local museum or library

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Thursday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning walk (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time - sketching

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Friday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning stretch/yoga (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Saturday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning walk (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Sunday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning stretch/yoga (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch (Quinoa-Stuffed Bell Peppers)

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time relax and unwind (self-care, hobbies)

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

1:00 PM: Offline time relax and unwind (self-care, hobbies)

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

It's not perfect, but it's a start. I tried to make it flexible, productive, and include things that I can sometimes forget on my worse days.

I want to read more, to draw more, to write more, I have so much I want to do, but it overwhelms me and makes me unproductive. It's devastating for my mental health, sometimes because all I want to do is be creative but then I fall down a rabbit hole of magnet fishing or scambaiting on YouTube and next thing I know, the day is gone! Hopefully, things will only look up from here, lol.

[hesnotavillain]

is there still anyone here?

it's trully been ages and tbh i almost didn't remembered the right email or password. i was creating an account on substack, since apparently that's a thing now (or has been forever and i'm only now finding about bc people are sharing theirs on my timeline) bc i was feeling like writing to no one really, just to put some feelings into words and then i remembered this "place" exists.

so funny (and cringe, obviously) getting to see how i spent years and years and lived through so much mental illness and so many fictional obsessions. this is like a museum of a lifetime, im not kidding.

writing this is also making me see how fucking bad my english actually is nowadays (if it was ever better)

let's see. im 23. got in college last year. quit my antidepressants the year before - which was also the year the guy i was seeing (because surprise surprise, you're bi!) and didn't have much expectations on became my boyfriend and potential future husband. i love him very much and we laugh a lot together. ngl i do miss women sometimes tho. just that specific sapphic atmosphere you know? dont really see myself away from it for the rest of my life. i mean, that just sounds like a very long time.

oh! i started the gym very recently. cant say that it changed my life yet, but honestly im hoping on that. it doesnt really have to change my life, but if it gets me some dopamine to go through my days with a nice ass as a bonus, i'll be happy. eating is not really the problem, cooking is. im too fucking lazy and this is actually the biggest fucking rock on my shoes. is that even a saying outside brazil? anyway.

i want to say i miss being a teenager, like maybe being 16-19 but man how can i say this when i was so fucking miserable mentally for way before that. im way better now, but sometimes i miss it and i know that really the only thing i miss is not having a real thought about anything that concerns real life because i was too drowned on gay content and too engaged with my internet friends. lmao. that sure was the life huh.

i dont think this writing exercise is working, but i also dont know what there is to 'work' really. i feel like there's a zillion subjects travelling aroung my mind all the time and i wanna deal with each but never know where to start so i guess that explains the messines.

im kinda excited to turn 30 (in a I'm Totally Romanticizing Turning 30 From Now On Because I Believe I'll Be At My Finest Era slightly delusional way). (if global warming even let us get there without massively destructing my mediocre reality). im also scared of the day i'll lose my loved ones. i feel like for the first time in my life im starting to understand that there's just so much life to live. so much life. how can every single possible thing, even the good ones, result on anxiety tho.

im already tired of this (writing) and dont know how to finish but for now i guess the substancial thing i can't forget is that i made it to right here and i'm the one who can get me to right there. so. just keep rolling my dudes.

[camilo-makesyousmile]

Camilo Carlos Castillo Madrigal – Character Sheet

my mama told me when i was young, "we are all born superstars" / she rolled my hair and put my lipstick on in the glass of her boudoir / "there's nothing wrong with loving who you are" / she said, "'cause he made you perfect, babe / so hold your head up, girl, and you'll go far"

Archetype — The Joker Birthday — December 28, 1998 Zodiac Sign — Rising Libra, Capricorn Sun, Virgo Moon MBTI — ENFP Enneagram — Type 7: the Enthusiast  Temperament — Sanguine Moral Alignment — Chaotic Good Primary Vice — Sloth Primary Virtue — Patience Element — Air

Overview

Mother — Josefina Carolina Madrigal-Castillo  Father — Félix Diego Madrigal-Castillo Mother’s Occupation — Assistant to the mayor Father’s Occupation — Nurse Family Finances — Middle ground? Not rich, not broke lol  Birth Order — Middle! Brothers —  Antonio [middle name] Castillo Madrigal Sisters — Dolores Adalia Castillo Madrigal Other Close Family — the Madrigals, im not listing them all Best Friend — TBD Other Friends — TBD Enemies — TBD Pets — all of Antonio’s friends Home Life During Childhood — Idyllic, loving family, beautiful house, beautiful town--happy and fulfilling childhood surrounded by love <;3 Town or City Name(s) — Encanto, Isle de Silvia, Avalor; Swynlake, England What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — It’s always been the same! Camilo’s bedroom in Casita is a massive auditorium with many fun house mirrors. His bed is actually “backstage” so to speak and difficult to get to if you don’t know how. (It’s a Metaphor for him hiding behind all his different faces.) It has excellent acoustics and when he was little, especially, he used to invite everyone into his theater to see him perform.  Any Sports or Clubs — Theater! Also, he’ll play some football but mostly casually.  Favorite Toy or Game — Charades, ofc.  Schooling — Primary in Avalor, was 16 when they came to Swynlake so he went to secondary in the UK; did not go to college Favorite Subject — Theater lol Popular or Loner — POPULAR! Important Experiences or Events — Getting his gift, Mirabel not getting hers, Antonio getting his (Cami was PRESSED), Avalor…  Nationality — Avalorian-Colombian Culture — Avalorian-Colombian Religion and beliefs — Catholic, tho they have a loosey goosey version of the Bible they follow lol

Physical Appearance

Face Claim — N/A Complexion — Brown skin with freckles on nose/cheeks, some pimples, but not a lot; very little facial hair, etc.  Hair Colour — Dark brown afro with some red highlights in the sun Eye Colour — Hazel Height — 5’7 Build — Wiry, but short Tattoos — Probably a few? I gotta think more about this Piercings — Nose and ears Common Hairstyle — A nice proper fro that they sometimes twist Clothing Style — Queer lol Mannerisms — Big and expressive!! Usual Expression — Smiling!

Health

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Nah and if they do, tia Julieta got them! Physical Ailments — None Neurological Conditions — Kleptomania Allergies — None Grooming Habits — Stays pretty well groomed tbh. Loves a face mask and manicure. Sleeping Habits — Sleeps a lot bc of his powers -- will fall asleep anywhere. Eating Habits — Eats anything. At all times is snacking on something.  Exercise Habits — Doesn’t exercise a whole lot, at least not purposefully Emotional Stability — Pretty good tbh, Camilo is pretty even-keeled Body Temperature — This is always the weirdest question why is this here? NORMAL Sociability —  Extremely sociable and good with people Addictions — Stealing things, maybe a lil alcohol dependency Drug Use — None  Alcohol Use — Too much probably

Your Character’s Character 

Bad Habits — Not caring enough about things, saying whatever is on their mind, no matter the cost lol Good Habits — Always a friendly face and a good listener, tbh  Best Characteristic — Being funny and charming Worst Characteristic — Too unattached Worst Memory — Fleeing Avalor Best Memory — Getting their gift! Proud of — Their family! Embarrassed by — Their family!  Driving Style — Do not let them behind a wheel, too irresponsible Strong Points — Fun, carefree, easily excitable, loyal (these are the traits of a dog)  Weakness — Being serious about stuff Fears — Something happening to his family Phobias — None…?  Secrets — Their stealing… Regrets — NOTHING BABY! (lies) Feels Vulnerable When — People try and make them be serious.  Pet Peeves — People trying to make them be serious.  Conflicts — Caring about their family v wanting to do their own thing Motivation — Do it for the bit!!  Short Term Goals and Hopes — Doesn’t really have any…  Long Term Goals and Hopes — Also doesn’t really have any… Sexuality — Queer Day or Night Person — Night  Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert Optimist or Pessimist — Nihilist?  Greatest Want — To make everyone have as good a time as they are 🧡 Greatest Need — To maybe take things a lil more seriously