#but it was again so surreal to be like. in the same space. right in front of. fairly close to. that guy whos been in my phone. you know?

[carcarrot]

i wish i could articulate the experience of seeing a band you're into live like actually seeing them in person because its so strange yet fascinating

[lilspacewolfie]

I Will Hold You For The Minute

I have a lot of feelings about this movie, too many to express, so please take this even though I'm sure it is not at all coherent <3

Content: 1.1k words, Copia x gn!reader, soft and angsty, idk i have too many feelings right now, ghovie related, Copia stresses a lot, lots of kisses, sweetness, that new fit oh my fucking satan its so hot, no beta.

It is so late that the Ministry halls are deathly silent, with only the rodents out of their hunts. It’ll probably be morning soon, you haven’t looked at a clock for hours, but the world outside remains cool and black. 

Today has been… a lot. That is the only way you can think of describing it. Overwhelming, emotional—like a tornado has ripped through the halls… and yet everything is the same, untouched. 

The man you love, standing before the mirror in his room and studying his reflection, is still here. He’s still Copia. 

Alive and breathing. 

You watch him from the doorway of his bathroom, having just slipped the last of his paint pots into the cabinets, stored away, wondering if they’ll ever be used again. Probably, most likely not. Melancholy has been a familiar friend for you today, and you cannot even begin to imagine how Copia is feeling. 

Copia, now Frater Imperator. 

It is surreal. 

Copia’s got an appraising face on. You watch his gloved hands touch the black glittering clerical collar, smoothing down the front of his new, stunning jacket. It is beautiful, tailor-made and spun from the finest wool with twisted, peak lapels made of the softest, shiniest satin. Attached to the lapels and edged with black gemstones, two precious rubies are pinned with a chain connecting in the centre from which a black grucifix swings. It sparkles under the lamplight, like stars against a black sky at the bottom of which, a ruby red tear-drop gem dangles. It’s ridiculous, maybe even a little bit impractical, but it's certainly Copia. And he looks damn good.

He fiddles with the collar and adjusts his cuffs for the hundredth time that night, and you watch his shoulders visibly slump when he meets your eyes in the mirror. You can't help but smile. How can you not? You love him, adore him with everything you are. 

“Hey,” you whisper, stepping into the room, “the bath is ready…”

Copia nods, his eyes back on his reflection. You pad up to him, barefoot and wrapped in his robe that hangs off your body, sliding an arm through his elbow. You lean against his shoulder, squeezing his bicep. The material creases under your touch, cool and crisp.

“Are you ready to get all this off?” You say again, softly, stroking up his arm tenderly. 

The stiffness that grips him is telling enough. When you find his gaze again, his unblinking and wide eyes are glassy, a little of his paint starting to smear down his cheek with a single tear. You can’t help when your own eyes start to burn. The emotions of the day are finally coming to a head. You’ve both been as strong as you can, an unspoken rule that matters not behind closed doors.

“You did so well,” you whisper, sliding a hand down to his tense one. When you lace your fingers through his, his grip is vice.

“Amore…” The way his voice falters on the term is too much for you.

“I’m so proud of you,” you sniffle, your own tears falling. You grip him tighter, leaning into him, watching your pictures in the mirror. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Copia. My Copia…”

When his face crumbles, you pull each other in a tight, suffocating embrace. Copia buries his head in your shoulder and finally, finally, a sob breaks from him. His grip on you is tense, gloved fingers grasping at you desperately, like he’s afraid if he loosens his hold for a moment you’ll slip through his fingers like smoke. He wets your neck with tears, trembling as you stroke a hand through his soft hair and nuzzle into him. 

You kiss the soft, secret space of skin just under his ear, forever marked by your mouth as you hush him. You whisper words of affection and love, pouring everything you have into him, filling his cup with your light while you replace yours with his dark in the hopes he can find some relief. 

“I’m so proud of you,” you tell him again, softly, half-choked. “Everyone will be… so proud of you.” 

“I—I hope I did good for them. I hope I—I was good enough,” he whimpers on a shaky breath.

“Oh, you did so well,” you cradle the back of his neck and press your cheek to his before you nudge him back. The paint around his eyes is a messy smear down his cheeks, his top lip mashed and smeared into his bottom.

You cradle his handsome face, stroking bare thumbs over his cheeks, catching tears and smears of black paint. His eyes are bloodshot, the white iris starker in the centre of its red rim. The wrinkles of his face are deeper somehow with the stress, with all the loss and heartache, but it doesn’t detract from his beauty—from your Copia.

Leaning up on your tip-toes, you press your forehead to his and close your eyes. His hands stay around you, keeping you close. He’s still tense, but softening as the emotions are finally allowed out of the floodgates. 

“You did so well, my baby. My beautiful, sweet man,” you reaffirm again, smiling bittersweet, pulling back to kiss his cheek. Copia closes his eyes and sniffles again. 

“You will always be Copia. Nothing will ever change that.” You kiss his opposite cheek, speaking between sweet pecks. Copia starts to sway with you, slow, ample movements as you speak. “No matter your title,” another kiss, “no matter your appearance or your dress.” You kiss his forehead. “Papa Emeritus. Frater Imperator Copia.” You kiss his wet lids and the tip of his nose. “You will always be loved and treasured, forever. By your fans, by me, by everyone, my sweet boy. I know we are all so proud of you even if it all feels shit right now.” Your smile is bittersweet when he cracks his eyes open. They’re less watery than before. And you chuckle, quietly, nuzzling your nose to his. He lets out a heavy sigh.

Finally, after a few more bittersweet tears, you kiss him on the mouth. You melt into each other, gripping his lapels, his hand on the back of your neck, everything so soft, solid and shaky all at once. It’s strange, to finally watch the balloon that's been inflating beneath his ribs finally pop. 

“Ti amo,” Copia crokes roughly. “I don’t know what I would ever do without you, amore.”

You bring your hands up once more, caressing his temples and stroking through his soft, mousy hair and greys. He purrs, mismatched eyes fluttering. He pulls you in for another deep kiss, humming into our mouth when you part your lips.

It will take time to accept the changes, you know, neither of you will ever get used to such a huge shift… You’ve both always been afraid of the future and talked about your fears and anxieties in the late morning hours when neither of you could sleep. But you’ve done it before, and you will do it again, together as one.

You know that with him, the future doesn’t look so foreign.

<3

masterlist ⛧ Ao3

[hoshifighting]

telepathic sex with minghao

check the part 1 (kinktober bonus) to understand it!

WARNINGS: +18, smut, soulmates plot, oral (f. receiving), mentions of body fluids (cum/precum), penetrative sex, destiny, spiritualist!hao

the whole day, all you could think about was sinking into your bed, pressing play on that guided meditation, and slipping back into that space, hoping—no, needing—to find him there again. sure, you’d see him tomorrow, standing behind the counter like nothing’s changed, with that little smirk in his eyes, but there was something different about being there with him, in that other place, in that thick, buzzing energy that seemed to heighten everything.

so, the second you were home, you didn’t waste time. you showered quickly, barely towel-drying yourself before collapsing on the bed, setting up the meditation, and letting yourself sink back down into that state. this time, it happened faster. almost as soon as you closed your eyes, you felt that shift, like you were slipping through a veil into something thicker, warmer, buzzing with that same familiar pulse.

you blinked, adjusting to the light, and there he was, standing right in front of you. minghao was circling around you, fingers snapping in little bursts, moving in a rhythmic way that felt like it was clearing something from the air.

you frowned, still not totally awake in this space. “what are you doing?”

he smirked, not even pausing his movements. “clearing your energy,” he said simply, finishing the circle around your head before moving closer, his fingers brushing just near the center of your chest. his touch didn’t land, not exactly, but you felt it like a ripple moving outward, settling low in your stomach, grounding you here, in this place.

then, there was this pull—right at your chest, like a magnetic tug right at your heart, making you stumble forward. minghao was there to catch you, his arms wrapping around you like he was expecting it, holding you steady as you found your balance.

“breathe,” he murmured, close enough that you could feel his words against your cheek. “get used to the energy here. just… let it in.”

you inhaled slowly, feeling the warmth of his bare chest against yours, solid and grounding. sparks prickled along your skin, tingling and hot, like electricity, and the second you noticed it, your body reacted, a shiver that never left the back of your neck, nipples hardening, the little body haird raising.

minghao’s fingers tightened around your waist, almost as if he could feel the shift in you, the way your pulse was quickening, the way warmth was spreading lower, pooling between your legs. you felt it, that slick heat building, and it was almost surreal, feeling every sensation doubled, heightened by the energy surrounding you, by the intensity of his presence so close.

“good,” he whispered, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “you’re relaxing into it. just… let go.”

you felt yourself growing wetter right in the middle of your legs, hot, dripping honey, that shone in that strange light, making minghao shiver with you, his mouth watered with saliva.

time kind of blipped, like the whole scene shifted in a flash, and the next thing you knew, you were laid out, floating on… nothing, really. but whatever it was, it felt firm, like some invisible force was holding your back. your back arched, body practically begging for that sensation building between your legs that only grew stronger.

and then you looked down. minghao was right there, right between your legs, mouth open, lips wet as he took you in, like he’d been waiting for this moment just as much as you had. his eyes locked onto yours, before his head dipped down, lips sucking softly at first, then harder, deeper.

you felt yourself growing hotter, your whole body buzzing, glowing even. you could sense your aura shifting, heating up, turning redder, and minghao’s eyes would flick up, watching the effect he had on you—and ur aura. he was savoring you, every drop, licking every spot you didn’t even know was that sensitive. and with every slurp, every glide of his tongue, you felt yourself slipping deeper, melting into this strange feeling.

it was unreal—like nothing you’d ever felt before. you’d had orgasms before, sure, but this? this was like the sensation turned up to ten times over, every nerve lit up, every cell buzzing. you felt like you were dissolving in minghao’s mouth, pulsing around his tongue as he drank you in. it was wet—insanely wet, slick and thick, dripping all over his lips, down your thighs, leaving this glossy shine in that strange, pulsing light around you two. you could feel it, this heady slickness pooling, spreading everywhere his mouth had touched.

minghao slowly pulled back, looking up at you with this soft, almost smug smile, his mouth glistening. he reached up, brushing his thumb gently across your cheek, his eyes warm and knowing. it was like he was looking at something precious, something he’d put his whole energy into just for the pleasure of seeing you fall apart. his hand cradled your face, thumb brushing your cheek, and his eyes held this glint, like he knew exactly what he’d done to you.

you barely managed to catch your breath, still riding out those last waves, when the words just spilled out: “hao… i need more,” you whispered. “please… please, i need you to—”

but he shook his head, soft smile still in place. “that,” he murmured, gaze steady and a bit sad, “i can’t give you here.”

your face fell, your fingers gripping his arm, heart pounding. “but… why not?” you pleaded, looking up at him, trying to fight against the drowsy haze still clouding your mind. “minghao, please… don’t make me wait, i need this.”

his smile softened as he watched you, and you could feel him almost giving in, but instead he just reached out, placing one warm, steady hand right on your forehead. “shhh…,” he murmured, pressing down gently. “rest. i’ll be back.”

the second his fingers touched your forehead, before you could protest, everything around you faded out, slipping into a deep, effortless sleep.

— // one week later // —

you tried to ignore it. really, really tried.

it’d been a week, and somehow, every time you walked past that cafeteria—no matter how hard you tried to ignore it—something happened. it started small. one day, you were just passing by, not even thinking about going in, when your graduation ring slipped right off your finger, clinking to the ground right in front of the door like it had a mind of its own. a little weird, but whatever, you shrugged it off.

but then, the next day, you were walking by again, heels clicking on the sidewalk, when out of nowhere your heel got snagged on the edge of a manhole cover, yanking you back so hard you nearly fell flat on your face, right outside that same door. annoying, but maybe just another accident.

after that, things started getting… weirder. the day after that, someone bumped into you so hard your shoulder was still sore the next morning. and it happened right there, outside the café. you’d started feeling a little paranoid.

tonight felt different. the café was closed, dark, the chairs stacked up inside, lights off, and the sidewalk empty as you passed. finally, maybe a night without something weird happening, you thought, shoulders relaxing a little. you were almost past the entrance when you felt it—a strong gust of wind, like it came out of nowhere. it rushed around you, tugging at your coat, your hair flying everywhere, like some invisible force was grabbing hold of you, trying to get your attention.

you cursed under your breath, struggling to keep your coat shut, fumbling as the wind seemed to push you backward, straight toward the door. just as you were about to fight your way through, you heard the soft creak of a door, and looked up to see… minghao. standing in the doorway, one eyebrow raised, looking right at you with that same knowing look, like he’d been waiting for this.

“fighting the universe, hmm?” he said, smirking as he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. the wind finally calmed, like it was giving you both a break, letting you take him in under the streetlight glow.

you could only stare, breath caught in your throat. “i… i wasn’t coming in,” you said, almost defensively, not sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

he just chuckled, that soft, rich sound you’d missed more than you realized. “yeah? funny. ‘cause the universe seems pretty set on bringing you here.” he stepped closer.

your heart raced as he reached out, his fingers brushing your hand, grounding you, like he knew exactly what you needed without you saying a word. “you can try to avoid it all you want,” he said softly, his thumb grazing over your knuckles. “but we’re going to find each other, no matter what. again and again.”

again and again.

it was like he was speaking straight to something buried deep in you, a part you hadn’t even known was there until now.

you swallowed, trying to find your footing, even though the world was spinning just from his hand on yours. “i… i wasn’t avoiding you,” you said firmly. but even you could hear how flimsy that sounded.

minghao just smiled sad, “then why haven’t i seen you?” he asked, no judgment in his voice. “not here. not… anywhere else.”

you didn’t have a good answer, but you felt your chest tighten, “i just… i didn’t know if… if it was real. or if i’d made it all up.” your words tumbled out, like you were finally admitting what you hadn’t even let yourself think abou.

he stepped closer, closing the last bit of space between you two, his hand shifting from your knuckles to cradle your face, his thumb tracing slow, soothing circles against your cheek. “you didn’t make it up,” he murmured, “it’s as real as it gets.”

his gaze softened, his fingers brushing your hair back. “i don’t know how, or why. but i know i’ve been looking for you—forever, it feels like. and now that i’ve found you…” he trailed off, his eyes locked on yours, like he was letting you see every piece of him, like he’d let you see right into his soul if you wanted.

your heart hammered in your chest, all the little moments of the past week flooding back, every strange pull, every little “accident” pulling you right here, right to him. it hit you, in this strange, wild way—you couldn’t escape it. didn’t want to.

“so, what now?” you whispered, but you knew he heard it, felt it. his hand still held your face, and he leaned in, close enough that you could feel his breath against your skin.

“now?” he echoed, his mouth quirking up just a little, playful but with that serious, steady gaze that made you feel like you were the only thing in his world. “now you let me in.” his lips brushed against yours, a kiss that felt like it reached through every barrier, like it pulled every lost piece of you back together.

it was wild—surreal, even. just a week ago, he was the barista, the one who knew your coffee order without you even having to say it, that little corner of comfort in your day. now you were spread out on his bed, legs wide open, every nerve in your body sparking like you were on the edge of some electric storm, and it was all because of him.

a vase on his dresser toppled, crashing to the floor in sync with your moans, and you barely even registered the sound. some incense he must’ve lit earlier was smoking heavy in the room, but there was something different about it now, like it was reacting to you two, the energy so intense that even the air around you couldn’t keep still. it smelled rich, earthy, mixed with the heat of both your bodies, wrapping around you, thick and heady.

“minghao—” his name slipped out of your mouth like a confession, your voice hoarse, desperate, and probably louder than you meant it. you couldn’t even guess how loud it was because all you could feel was him, pressing into you, deep and raw.

raw—you’d never done it raw with anyone before, but somehow, with him, it wasn’t even a question. you trusted him, in this immediate, soul-deep way that didn’t make sense but felt like the most natural thing in the world. it was like your body and soul both knew, this is it. no second-guessing, no holding back.

he had you on the edge, his forehead pressed against yours, and somehow, it made you want to just… talk, let it all out, every thought spinning in your head.

“hao…” you gasped, fingers digging into his back, “why does it feel like this, like… like i’ve known you my whole damn life?” you arched your back, letting out this squeal when he went deeper.

“maybe you have, babe… maybe we’ve done this a hundred times in a hundred different lives.” it hit you deep, settling somewhere in your chest.

“shut up,” you half-laughed, but there was a lump in your throat, a part of you that wanted to believe every word. “this—this is insane, you know that, right?”

he just grinned, that slow, knowing smile, his hand moving down your thigh, fingers pressing into your skin. “insane? you saying you don’t want it?”

“no, that’s not what i’m sayin’,” you shot back, rolling your eyes but unable to stop the little smile creeping in as he rolls his hips in a circle. “just… this is so… so fast. it’s like… i dunno… like we skipped the whole ‘getting to know each other’ part.”

“maybe we already know everything we need to,” he murmured, and he dipped his head down, pressing a soft kiss to your collarbone. “maybe we’re just… remembering—fuck! you feel it too, right? this…” he gestured by thrusting into you harder than before, making you melt, you knew what he meant.

you bit your lip, trying to hold back a moan as he rolled his hips, hitting that spot that had you practically seeing stars. “fuck… yeah, i feel it… but i don’t even know what it is. feels like i’m in some fever dream.” you managed, breath catching.

“s’not a dream, sweetheart,” he muttered, leaning down to press his mouth against yours, his words vibrating through your lips. “you’re right here, with me. and i’m not goin’ anywhere. i feel it. can’t explain it, and i don’t care if it don’t make sense to anyone else.”

you swallowed, searching his eyes, and all you could see was honesty, that raw openness that felt like it was melting every wall you’d built around yourself. “then… don’t stop. don’t… don’t let go, okay?”

“wasn’t plannin’ on it,” he smiled, licking your lips before dipping the pink muscle inside your mouth.

[jaesama]

Liam 🌹

The past few days have felt incredibly surreal to me as a longtime fan of Liam and One Direction. How do you mourn someone you didn't know personally, but who nevertheless felt like such a big part of your life? It weighs so heavy on my heart knowing that he was alone before he passed. He never deserved that. He deserves to be here, surrounded by those who loved him. None of this feels right.

It's a strange feeling; I've never felt so much grief and anger at once. It's like a large knot in my chest that tightens with each passing hour, reminding me that he's truly gone.

Liam is gone.

And no amount of apologies from the media or fandom, who treated him so horribly, will bring him back. To say I'm bitter would be overly simplistic. I'm completely furious yet torn at the same time. I could go on about the relentless bullying Liam has been subjected to the past several weeks and how he's been mistreated for years by the same fandom and industry whom he devoted so much of himself to, but it would all be in vain. Nothing will change the outcome. Despite everything that transpired, Liam had a kind heart. He struggled with his own demons, undoubtedly, but that doesn't make him an evil person. He just wanted to be heard. If he was given even just half of the grace and support he's receiving now, I genuinely believe he'd find his way back, but I guess we’ll never know.

I grieve for his son, who lost his father and will never see him grow up. I grieve for his parents, who must bury their child while the media continues to exploit his death. I grieve for his sisters, who will never see their little brother again. I grieve for the boys who've lost their dear friend and brother. I grieve for the life he lost and the future that was robbed from him. And I grieve for everyone who loved him and never got the chance to say goodbye. Liam, I am so sincerely sorry.

No amount of apologies could ever be enough. Even as the world treated you with cruelty, you always chose to be kind. You just wanted to be loved, there's no fault in that.

Even through the most difficult times in your life, you loved your fans so fiercely and without fail. You've touched so many lives while saving so many, but it breaks my heart that we couldn't save yours.

We miss you so much Liam. There will never be anyone like you, truly. Although it deeply saddens me every time I think of you now, I hope that someday I can look back at my memories of you with a smile. Thank you, Liam, for bringing so much light and happiness into my life and the lives of countless others.

Your absence will be felt in the vacant spaces you've left behind and can never be filled. Your memory will live on forever in the hearts of those who loved and cherished you.

I hope your next life treats you with far more kindness and compassion than this life ever did. And if I'm lucky enough to exist in the same lifetime as you once more, I look forward to being your fan again 🤍 Goodnight, sweet Liam 🤍 I pray your gentle heart is finally at peace 🕊

[elusivecagedmockingbird]

Untitled

[jungkook x reader]

"You wanna know about art? When the class president starts touching my face on darkened street corners, and talking about my eyes, there's a word for it. There's an entire movement in the 20's—it's called surreal."

Or THE popular fuckboy in your campus suddenly signs up as the figure model to one of your extracurricular activities and starts showing his interest in you.

A/N: I'm not sure where I went with this. Thus, untitled. I'm not even sure where this falls in the tags. But, enjoy!

-

Jungkook is at odds with himself.

Part of him wants to leave and forget about this stupid idea. He doesn't know what compelled him to listen to Jin. What exactly does the old man know about dating anyway? As far as he knows, he's never seen him with the same girl, so maybe he should have reached out to Namjoon instead. The other part is hyping himself up. In about a few minutes, you’ll be coming through those doors. It would be too late to back out now.

He chugs his bottled water as if he were thirsty. Jungkook thinks he'll pass out from anxiety. If not that, then from how warm it is inside this garage turned makeshift studio.

He feels the beads of sweat trickle down his back and pits.

This is not good.

The class is about to start and he'll be stripping down to his boxers and he's all sweaty. Thinking about that uneventful possibility makes him sweat more.

Fuck.

He notices someone walk towards the corner he has been hiding in. Judging by how good-looking his face is and the vintage clothing he wears, Jungkook surmises this must be the Senior organizing this art class. Taeyong? Taehyun?

Ah, Taehyung, he remembers just before the elder stands infront of him.

"You're Jungkook, right?"

Jungkook only nods as a response. His dry throat keeps him from speaking, afraid he squeaks out a reply and embarrasses himself more.

Thankfully, the other man is kind enough to not assume his silence as being standoffish.

"Nervous, huh?" Taehyung smirks, but Jungkook doesn't feel like he's being provoked. Rather, it actually calms him—at least the idea that it must be a common occurrence for models to exude this much anxiety that it's the first question people assume.

"That obvious?" He squeaks before clearing his throat. "Do all models get nervous on their first time?" Jungkook finally grounds his voice. Albeit, a bit meek for someone with a strong commanding aura and in a leather jacket.

Taehyung smiles and nods. "More than you expect. Which is understandable. Jin hyung told me you're doing this to learn more about art?"

No, he isn't, he internally protests. He doesn't know what Jin told Taehyung. The real reason he's here on a Sunday, as a supposed 'volunteer' model for a drawing class, is because of you.

The rest, he let Jin fill it out so Jungkook can secure the spot.

But of course, he wouldn't divulge those. So, Jungkook once again clears his throat before responding with a meek 'yes' as he shoots his empty water bottle in the can, making a clanging noise. He smiles sheepishly at the circled crowd whose attention he caught. He cringes at how much he's going out of his way to act cool. He's never this way, and yet, he wants to make sure you witness him with his best foot forward today.

Jungkook sways on the balls of his feet, taking in the space when he sees you—just as you were hooking your bag in your chair.

Goddamn, you're pretty. He's watching you laugh with another girl stationed near your table as you lay out your tools.

"Ready when you are." Taehyung breaks him out of his trance, and he replies with a sheepish nod—hoping he wasn't caught staring at you.

Jungkook starts by taking off his shoes, then his leather jacket. He unbuttons his pants with briefs in tow and the thought that you would be looking at his crotch makes him blush. He shamelessly imagines you and him as Jack and Rose in that sketching scene. But, before he can pull his jeans down, a booming baritone voice hollers at him.

Taehyung hurries towards him. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Jungkook freezes at the sudden aggression. His mouth puckers open and close like a fish coming up for air, as he struggles to come up with a reply.

Taehyung tilts his head and assesses the young man with a pout. "Did Seokjin not tell you this isn't a nude class? We just need you to strip to your shirt and jeans," Taehyung clarifies in a whisper.

Embarrassment floods Jungkook and he sputters out an apology. He silently curses himself between nervous laughs and incoherent words of what seemed to be apologies. Shy doe eyes peeps at you and the confused and scandalized look painted on your face makes him want to get swallowed by the ground and never reappear in front of you ever again.

You must think he’s some kind of a creep or worse, a flasher. With a big exhale, he tries to set aside the embarrassment and go through this. It's already bad enough that his nerves and recent embarrassment made a sweat stain on his shirt.

Not long after, Jungkook stands in the middle of the circle of easels. It actually isn't bad, he thinks. Most of the time, he's staring at wood stands and the occasional heads peeking out of the canvas.

You're on his side, so he can only see you through his peripheral vision. Even so, he can already visualize the vein popping on your forehead when you concentrate—just one of the things he adores on your face.

That afternoon, Jungkook finds out he likes the thought of you paying this much attention and focus on him, instead of the other way around.

He holds his growing smile at bay.

-

The hour-long class went quicker than Jungkook wanted. He takes his time picking up his jacket and pretends to search for something in his bag as he waits for you to pack up. However, you never rise from your seat.

It takes Taehyung tapping your shoulder to bring you out of your world. "You still get tomorrow, Y/N," he hears Taehyung remind you before walking around the room, checking progress.

Jungkook didn't mean to eavesdrop more, but when you stood up and followed Taehyung, he couldn't help but tune in to your conversation.

"I need a little more time to fix a few edges. Can I just extend for a while? I'll clean up the supplies room." You bargain, voice kept low as if you're making an illegal trade with Taehyung.

Jungkook hears the older man sigh and call your name softly. "You still have tomorrow to work on it, and the next few days. Plus, I can't suddenly ask the model to stay just for you."

You whine petulantly like a child and Jungkook wonders if he can make you whine under different situations. Perhaps, under hi—

"He can go. I just need—"

The moment he makes out your reply, Jungkook was quick to cut you off and offer his time. "I can stay for a while."

Both you and Taehyung turn your heads to face the man who looks like a deer caught in the headlights, but he might as well have been. Your glowered confused eyes stare into him. "I-if you want," he stutters, so he tries to salvage his image with an obviously feigned nonchalant shrug.

Taehyung holds back his laugh but the sudden expulsion of air from his nose wasn't amiss, earning a side eye from you.

"No need," you answer with finality. "You get paid by the hour, right? I can't pay you and—"

"You don't have to pay me. I'm offering for free." Jungkook internally winces at how quick he was in offering himself. But if he were being honest, he would stay in this shoddy garage all night, through the blazing summer heat, as long as it's time spent with you.

Is it a crime that he's quick to take an opportunity when it has presented itself?

He thinks abso-fucking-lutely not.

Your eyebrows furrow, the 'I wasn't done talking' death glare you directed at Jungkook has him shift awkwardly on his foot and look everywhere else but at you.

"Still, I'd get in trouble for requesting more time, anyway. Can't have other students think Taehyung here has favorites." You press and it chips a bit of his confidence. It was obvious you didn't want him to stay. If he keeps insisting, you might think he's creepy.

Jungkook didn't want to seem too pushy anyway, and so, lets out a defeated "Oh.." and nods. His round eyes making it easy to see his dismay as it curves downwards a little at the sides.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Taehyung intervenes. The older man was amused as he watched Jungkook flounder around you, he also knows how oblivious and dismissive you are of guys like Jungkook to a fault. And so, he helps.

Ah, young love, Taehyung muses. "Just make sure to clean up and lock up after, like you promised." He tosses the keys to you, but you make no movement of catching it, letting the keys hit your chest and fall to the ground.

Now your glare is directed towards your sunbaenim. "On second thought, I'm wrapping it up for tonight then." You head towards your easel to pack up your stuff.

Taehyung sighs.

He tells Jungkook to wait a bit and pick up the keys as he follows after you, calling your name.

“Just take the guy's offer to help. He’s trying to learn more about art, too,” he whispers, arms crossing across his chest. "Isn't this the piece you're submitting with your application? I know that head of yours will run nonstop if you don't finish what you intended to do tonight." Taehyung nudges you with a smile and softly jabs his pointer finger to your temple, making you chuckle with a pout. You shoo his hand away from your face and he knows he got you to stay.

This Jungkook kid owes him, Taehyung thinks.

However, from where Jungkook stands, he sees you breaking out the cutest smile at Taehyung. His eyes even going bigger at what he believes is an affectionate touch to your face when Taehyung boops your forehead.

Is that even ethical or something, he wonders irately. Taehyung isn't much older but given that he's your sunbaenim, Jungkook thinks he shouldn't be doing that. Or even be standing close to you. He's currently throwing imaginary lasers at Taehyung's back when you both turn to him and he immediately unsquints his eyes.

"Jungkook, do you still want to stay?" Taehyung shouts at the young man.

Yes.

A hundred times yes. He's a lovesick loyal puppy and if you ask him to bark, he'll bark for you.

Jungkook nods enthusiastically and rushes closer to where you stand, eager to wedge himself between you and Taehyung.

-

"Jungkook," you sigh his name tiredly. "I really need you to stop moving your head. Is there something more interesting behind me?" The question was rhetorical, but you're starting to wonder what he keeps on staring at behind you that you turn your head, only to be greeted with a wall filled with hanged canvases.

You hear him mumble out a you with a smirk, but was quick to cover it up with a sorry. This guy think he was slick.

Jungkook turns his head to assume his supposed pose. His eyes still filled with mirth. And he lasts about four minutes before his head starts turning towards you. Again.

You throw your head forward with an exhausted groan. This was a mistake. You're growing more frustrated by the minute. Maybe you should call it a night.

Looking back up at your model, you tell him he can leave.

Jungkook breaks his stance then quickly poses as he quickly persuades you. "No, I'll stay still. Look," he promises and follows through quickly by holding the pose.

"No, I'm just really too tired for tonight. Thank you for staying a bit longer." You busy yourself by grabbing at your stuff, cleaning pencil shards here and there to keep the lurking unease.

You can't have a breakdown here again, you admonish yourself. And it's going to feel worse after if Jungkook's here to see it happen. You keep your head down while your hands wipe the charcoal dust on the table.

You hear footsteps nearing you, and you pray to whoever listens that he's not actually coming closer. He calls your name, his voice close and soft. You hum in response, head still hung low, refusing to face him.

Jungkook sees you rubbing an eraser at a blank surface and purses his lips. He finally got the chance to spend time with you and he was hoping to break the ice and get closer to you, but he does this—he upset you and wasted your time. You're not gonna want to spend more time with him after this.

"I-I'm sorry. I really wanted to help. I can stay again tomorrow to make up for tonight," he offers. Everything about him screams eagerness and he must really be interested in art to be willing to stay in the garage-slash-studio during this Summer heat.

You feel the tingling pressure in your throat and your lips quiver. You clear your throat and will away the tears before it breaks through your paper wall.

"No. You did great, Jungkook. I'm just not feeling well tonight." Your voice was too soft, but at least it didn't break.

Jungkook walks around you and turns to face you, hands making contact with your shoulder. "Are you sick? I have some medicine in my bag," he offers. He retracts his hand and unzips his bag to take out whatever medicine he had stashed inside.

It's his genuine concern that does it for you. You suddenly sob and cover your face with your hands.

"Oh, Y/N, are you okay? Does something hurt?" He didn't expect this. Jungkook was taken aback and his worried eyes looked for signs of where you could have been hurt.

Your sobs turned to full-on bawling and Jungkook was quick to take you into his arms. He lets you cry and occasionally whispers assurances between your weeping despite not knowing why you suddenly burst into tears.

In that moment, you stood illuminated by harsh yellowish fluorescent lights like a Gustav Klimt painting on display. The A/C humming noise drowned out by your hiccups and his whispers.

You were the first to pull away. He didn't mean to, but the moment you separated from Jungkook and lowered your hands from your face, he laughed.

Offended at his reaction, you push him away and quickly gather your bag hanging on the chair.

"Wait," he calls for you as he fumbles to pick up the bag he let fall to the floor.

He calls your name but you decidedly ignore him, feet shuffling quickly to leave the garage.

Fucking ass, you think. You're mortified. You already dread tomorrow as your imagination runs wild. What if he tells his friends about your ugly crying? You think you don't care what frat guys think, but you still definitely don't want to be the talk of the campus. You've only transferred here last year and after being briefed by your friend on who to avoid, you made sure not to have a run in with guys like Jungkook.

This is exactly why you were holding everything in earlier. Every stereotype of frat guys being huge assholes behind the charming facade were true.

A flash of high school memories ambush you and you just want to get to your dorm and hide under your blankets. You'll just have to miss tomorrow's class, you plan.

You violently shrug when you feel a hand grip your wrist.

"Hey, will you wait," Jungkook pleads. You turn to face him and see him reach something in his pockets.

Fuck. He's not going to take a photo, isn't he?

You were ready to lunge at him, anything to prevent him from taking a snap at your post-bawl blotched face, when all of sudden, a soft cloth touched your face.

Jungkook chuckles at your startled face.

"You have charcoal smudged all over your face," he points out. His bunny teeth peeks through his curved lips and the sides of his eyes wrinkle from amusement.

"Oh." You visibly flinch when he uses his thumb to brush the apple of your cheeks.

"There," he smiles, eyes fixated on his finger caressing your skin.

"You know you really have pretty eyes."

If you were in a romantic movie, his line would have panned out well. But you're not, so cue the sound of glass breaking to signify a shattered moment.

To think, you bought his act. You thought, here's a deviant frat boy species. Maybe not all of them are only interested in girls and booze. You even thought this Jeon Jungkook isn't so bad.

Until he says that.

Breaking away and stepping back from him, you humorlessly laugh in disbelief.

"You're a fucking cliché, Jungkook. Does this babble usually work on chicks?" You take a look at him and he has the audacity to look unaware of how hokey the situation is.

"Wha—" Poor boy couldn't even finish his sentence, you thought.

"Y/N, I'm not following."

You were about to make a joke on flies flying straight to his agape mouth but you hold yourself back. Instead, you make a gesture of shaking your head as you force out another dry laugh. You look at him one last time and walk away from the frat boy once again.

You hear his footsteps follow you, along with calls of your name. "Did I say something wrong?"

You stop as you reach the threshold—you're almost out of the garage and out into the cold dark night, ready to rush into the safety of your dorm and away from sleazy college boys.

But something in you compels you to turn, and so you do. "Yes, Jungkook. You did." Your hands grip your bag tighter, feet taking a couple of steps back into the garage, to the shoddy light so he can see you.

"Did you really think this charming ‘oh-i’m-clueless act was going to drop panties? You wanna know about art?" You hurl the question; voice no longer shaky and unsure. "When the campus playboy starts touching my face on dimly lit spaces, and starts talking about my eyes, there's a word for it. There's an entire movement in the 20's—it's called surreal." You roll your eyes at him before making your exit.

It takes a minute for Jungkook to get his body to move. And when he does, you're already a distance away. Almost gone from his sight.

This is the second time today that you rendered him immobile and speechless. Just what the fuck did he do?

-

Meanwhile, you cursed at Jeon Jungkook on your entire walk home. Fuck him and his round innocent eyes for throwing the bees and butterflies in your stomach into chaos.

You tell yourself you dodged a bullet and that was just a ploy for him to get into your pants. You should actually congratulate yourself for turning away one of the notorious womanizers. Your roommate would be proud of you.

Still, you couldn't deny the jolt you felt in your chest when he touched your face and spewed those cheesy lines about your eyes.

You grunt as you slam the door to your dorm.

"Damn. Who pissed you off?" Jihyo, your roommate stares at you across her table.

You heave a sigh of exhaustion and plop yourself on the carpeted floor. "Had a run in with a frat guy," you spit with a scowl. "You remember the guy you were talking about last week? Jungkook? He's the model for this week."

"Seriously? That's..." Jihyo's head tilted sideways as she looked for the right word, brows furrowing. "Out of character for him."

You raise your head and prop your arms to face your roommate. "Right? That's what I thought, but Taehyung said he was interested in learning art."

At this, Jihyo pauses while eating and guffaws. "Is he for real?"

You roll your eyes at no one in particular and rest your head on your palms as your other hand plucks at the carpet. "Nah, I'm pretty sure he was just there to pick up girls."

Jihyo squints at you, suddenly alert as she senses something you haven't told her yet.

"He hit on me," you start. Already growing flustered at the recollection of the afternoon. "You know those cheesy lines from romcoms, he actually used them on me." You went on detail by detail about what happened and ended your story with a shudder. "This is the first time I might dread going to the class."

"Yep, I see why he thinks he could get away with the cheesiest line," Jihyo murmurs. Apparently, during your story, Jihyo picked up her phone and started to stalk Jungkook's profile. "I mean shame it wasn't nude because have you seen this body?" She flips her phone so you can see her screen.

"What? That's not Jungkook." You stand from your spot and walk closer to Jihyo and snatch the phone. "This isn't Jungkook."

"What are you talking about? That’s literally his profile,” Jihyo takes her phone back, wanting to take another look if you’re looking at the same thing. “See, Kim Jongkook. He’s the notorious fuck boy, probably in all departments. Good thing is, he’s graduating this year.”

Oh, fuck.

-

>> Still Untitled

[schemmentigfs]

Sweetening The Deal. (part 4.)

Summary: you learn more about the mysterious fiery redhead and things start to change..

Tags: @lisaannwaltersbra @italianaidiota @greencurlyhair @schmentisgf @dopenightmaretyphoon @pitstopsapphic

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Next Chapter.

Settling into the passenger seat of Melissa’s sleek car, you tried to calm the flutter in your chest. The entire morning felt surreal—first being invited to stay in her luxurious penthouse, then getting a full tour of her space, and now… a personal shopping trip with Melissa Schemmenti herself deciding everything for your upcoming change of pace on life. You cast a shy glance her way as she adjusted her orange sunglasses, already focused on the road with that steady, unruffled confidence that always seemed to surround her.

Seconds later, the engine hummed to life as she pulled out onto the streets of Center City Philadelphia. The redhead woman had one hand on the wheel, the other resting casually on the center console, close enough that you could almost—almost—reach out and take it.

But you didn’t. The fear was too strong.

The drive was smooth, and for a moment, the silence between you felt almost too comfortable. You stole another glance at her as she focused on the traffic, her olive eyes hidden behind those pairs of designer sunglasses. She looked so effortless, so polished. Every detail about her—her crisp, tailored blazer, the way her auburn hair caught the sunlight—seemed intimidatingly perfect. You fidgeted with your hands, unsure of how to break the silence.

You hadn’t expected to feel so nervous. After all, you were just on your way to the mall to pick up a few things. It wasn’t a big deal. But the truth was, ever since that dream—that pornographic dream—you hadn’t been able to look at her the same way. You wouldn’t. You’d never told her about it. It was too embarrassing, too raw. She didn’t need to know, not when things between you two had been just fine as it should be. Right?

The images were still too vivid in your mind. The way her grunts sounded in your ear, the soft pressure of her lips against your skin while her hands had gripped you, steady and strong, the feel of her clit sliding against yours. And then, somehow, that moment had shifted—becoming more intense, more dangerous. The vivid image of Melissa in her bedroom, her pale body stretched out in front of you, her ass glowing under the dim lighting of the room. You tried to suppress the memory, but it lingered like an unwanted guest, haunting you every time you tried to look at her.

The silence stretched on, and finally, you cleared your throat, gathering the nerve to ask her something, anything at all, that might distract you from the thoughts that haunted and terrorized you.

“So… what do you do for living?” you asked, your voice soft but hopeful. “When you were on your way to my apartment complex, you said something about meetings?”

Her fingers curled slightly around the wheel as she gave you a quick glance, just a flicker behind those sunglasses, before returning her attention to the road. “You’re looking at it,” she said, her voice clipped and cold, as if the answer should have been obvious. “When I’m not being some bratty kid’s sugar mama, I work in real estate. I manage a few properties. Very high-end stuff.”

“Oh, that’s—” you trailed off, unsure if you’d be bothering her by asking more and honestly, you felt a bit annoyed by the way she referred to you as a brat. Her responses were so curt, almost as if she was reluctant to share even the basics, and still here she was, driving you around, letting you stay in her penthouse, arranging this shopping trip. “Cool..”

“If you say so... I guess that’s one way to put it,” she sighed quietly.

You took another deep breath, hoping to calm your nerves, and tried again. “What about… hobbies? Do you have any of ‘em?”

Melissa snorted, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. “I got hobbies.” She paused, glancing your way briefly before continuing in a tone that seemed half-reluctant. “I like to smoke. Cigars, mostly. Relaxing as hell after dealing with some motherfuckers at business meetings. And, uh, I watch Real Housewives sometimes. It’s a guilty pleasure, alright?” She smirked, but you could tell there was no real embarrassment there. She wore her quirks with confidence, her own unique brand of unapologetic pride.

“We all have guilty pleasures, Schemmenti,” you pointed out, feeling more comfortable. “What else?”

“I go to church sometimes,” the redhead added, softening a bit, turning distant. “Not every week, but, y’know… enough.” Her words seemed to falter, like there was something there she wasn’t quite saying. She swallowed, adjusting her sunglasses as she spoke, her tone strangely vulnerable. “Goin’ there, it helps me… forgive. Or try to, anyway.” She let out a small, humorless laugh, as if forgiveness wasn’t exactly something she found easy to come by.

The shift in her tone made your chest tighten. You wanted to ask what Melissa Schemmenti needed to forgive—or whom—but something in the features stopped you. Instead, you just nodded, letting her know you were listening, taking in each layer of herself she offered, even if she didn’t realize it.

And then, just as quickly as it had started, she fell silent. Her words ceased, and the hum of the road filled the gap. It was as if the conversation had taken a sudden detour, one that left you both in the moment of reflection. You could see her green eyes flicker to the rearview mirror, not really looking at anything but maybe thinking about everything.

She shifted in her seat, straightening her posture a little, but there was something new in her body language—a subtle withdrawal, almost like she was pulling back from herself. It was an instinct you knew too well, the way people guarded themselves after they’d shared something too raw. Melissa was never one to open up lightly. But now she seemed to be processing something else, something she hadn’t said yet. You wanted to reach out, to break the silence, but you hesitated. Something in the stillness of the moment felt important.

You couldn’t help but notice the way her hands tightened around the wheel, the tension in her shoulders, and the soft furrow between her brows. Her reflection in the mirror showed someone more guarded than she’d been a moment ago, as if the vulnerability she’d offered just a moment ago had been too much to bear. It wasn’t just her words she’d closed off—it was her entire presence.

Melissa didn’t speak again, but you felt it—the shift. And you couldn’t help but wonder what had caused it, what hidden part of her she was wrestling with now.

You glanced out the window, trying to steady your thoughts as the car moved through the city streets. As you sat there, trying to distract yourself from the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in your mind, another thought crept in—one you hadn’t dared to voice. You hadn't really thought about it until now, but the more you focused on the silence between you, the more you realized that you'd never seen much of the Schemmentis around.

Her penthouse was immaculate—every surface polished, every corner filled with the sharp edges of modern luxury—but there were hardly any family pictures, no casual snapshots of her childhood or moments with relatives. Sure, there were photos of friends, some from vacations or casual nights out, but when it came to her family, it was almost like a void. That lack of familial presence was... strange, especially considering how many photos of her with some of the Schemmentis were across the internet.

You found yourself wanting to ask, but hesitation gnawed at you. Was it inappropriate to ask about her family? Did it make her uncomfortable? You tried to imagine how she’d respond—whether she’d offer an easy, casual answer or if it would send her retreating into that unapproachable shell she sometimes slipped into. Maybe she didn't want to talk about them, and maybe you shouldn't pry.

But you couldn’t help it. Curiosity gnawed at you like an itch you couldn’t scratch. You wanted to know more about the redhead—the parts of her life she hadn’t yet shared, the side of her that wasn’t just the successful, confident woman you’d come to know.

The absence of family mementos seemed deliberate, almost as if she were keeping her history behind some invisible line you weren’t allowed to cross. You’d heard her mention her family here and there during one of your meetings to arrange your sugar mommy deal—her Italian heritage—but nothing in detail. And the one time she had let something slip, she’d quickly clammed up, her face shifting to that same, unreadable mask she wore now.

But why?

Did she have siblings? Were her parents close? Had she grown up in a family like the one she’d created for herself—one that seemed full of strength, but also a quiet kind of distance?

You turned your gaze out the window again, pretending to focus on the passing scenery, but your mind raced through all the questions you couldn’t ask. The truth was, there was something deeply personal about the idea of her family—or lack of it—that had piqued your interest more than you were comfortable admitting.

What kind of upbringing had made her the way she was? And why had she chosen to leave so little of that behind in her penthouse? Your thoughts spiraled, pulling you deeper into that place of uncertainty and wonder, your chest tightening as you realized just how much you wanted to know.

You felt guilty for even thinking about asking. It wasn't like you had any right to her history, and maybe it wasn’t fair to put her on the spot like that. So you kept quiet, watching her as she drove, her face set and unreadable.

Still, the curiosity lingered.

“Melissa,” you started again, your voice softer than you intended. “You mentioned Pearl earlier. I didn’t realize she’d been around that long.”

“Yeah, she’s been a part of the family for years. Practically helped raise us—me and my siblings. Eight siblings, yeah. Big Italian family—South Philly’s finest.”

You nodded, glancing down to your lap to avoid her gaze. “Eight siblings… that’s a lot. Must’ve been a full house.”

Melissa let out a soft scoff. “You could say that. It was chaos, pure and simple. We weren’t exactly living in luxury back then. Half of us had to share a room.”

The idea surprised you, though you supposed it shouldn’t have. The woman beside you was successful now, living in a penthouse and offering you a fresh start, but she hadn’t always been here. You couldn’t imagine her any other way, though—fierce, determined, always in control. It was… comforting. Attractive, even.

You bit your lip, realizing you were staring, and quickly turned your gaze back to the road ahead. “I guess it taught you to be tough?”

She chuckled, though there wasn’t much warmth in it. “You don’t survive in a house like that without learning a thing or two.” She paused, then cast you a quick look, her expression softening just a fraction. “I don’t talk about my family much, you know. Or my fuckin’ past.”

Her honesty caught you off guard, and you felt a strange sense of privilege knowing she was sharing even this much with you. “Thank you for sharing,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

Melissa waved it off as if it were nothing, but the way she looked at you made your heart skip. “Enough about me,” she scoffed, her tone firm but not unkind. “Today’s about you. We’re going to get you set up properly—starting with a wardrobe overhaul.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that, though your cheeks felt warm. “I don’t think I need that much—”

Green eyes shot you a look, one brow raised. “I’m not taking no for an answer, brat. You’re with me now, so we’re doing this my way.” She glanced at you again, her lips quirking into a smirk. “Besides, I like spoiling you, you little shit.”

Ignoring the last words, your heart fluttered at the way she said it, so casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world. And then, before you could think too much about it, she leaned over at a red light and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

You froze, heat flooding your face as her lips lingered for just a second longer than necessary. When she pulled back, her gaze was steady, almost challenging, as if daring you to react. But words seemed to stick in your throat, and all you could do was stare at her, wide-eyed and flustered.

“Cat got your tongue?” Melissa teased pressing a hand on your thighs, the corners of her mouth twitching in amusement.

“N-No, I just… wasn’t expecting that,” you stammered, cursing yourself for sounding so awkward.

“Get used to it, honey. Mama’s got a habit of getting what she wants.”

The rest of the drive passed in a haze, each kiss she placed on your cheek or forehead leaving you breathless and aching to feel her plump lips on yours. You wondered if she could tell, if she noticed the way your hands fidgeted in your lap or the way your gaze kept flickering to her lips when you thought she wasn’t looking. But if she did, she didn’t say a word.

When you finally arrived at the mall, Melissa led you inside with a hand on the small of your back, her presence steady and grounding. You were still a little dazed, still reeling from every soft touch and lingering look she’d given you in the car.

The mall was bustling, but with Melissa by your side, you felt a strange sense of calm. Or maybe it was just that her confidence had a way of rubbing off on you, making you feel like you belonged, like you deserved to be here with her. She guided you through the maze of stores, her hand warm and reassuring on your back, and you tried not to think about how natural it felt, how right.

As you walked, she glanced at you, a thoughtful look in her green eyes. “We’re going to find something that suits you. Something… fitting.” She stopped in front of a high-end boutique, her tongue clicking as she turned to you. “Because from now on, you’re mine. And I want you to look like it.”

Your mouth went dry, and you felt your heart skip a beat at her words. Hers. The idea made your stomach flutter in a way you couldn’t quite describe.

“Y-Yours?” you stammered.

Melissa smirked, looking at you with a mixture of amusement and satisfaction. “That’s right. My property, my rules.” There was an unmistakable edge of possessiveness in her voice, one that left you feeling both nervous and exhilarated.

You swallowed, your cheeks burning as you nodded, unable to find the words to respond. But She didn’t seem to mind. She simply took your hand and led you inside, guiding you through racks of designer clothes with an expert eye.

“What about this?” the redhead prompted, holding up a sleek black dress, her gaze assessing as she looked you over.

You fidgeted, feeling self-conscious under her scrutiny. “It’s… nice.”

Melissa raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by your lack of enthusiasm. “Nice isn’t good enough. You’re going to try it on. And a few other things, too.”

Before you could protest, she had already gathered a small pile of clothes and was steering you toward the fitting rooms. Her hand was warm on your back, her presence reassuring even as she pushed you a little out of your comfort zone.

Inside the fitting room, you tried on each piece she’d picked out, feeling more and more like a different person with each outfit. The clothes were sleek, sophisticated, a far cry from the simple, practical pieces you usually wore. But when you looked at yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t help but feel… good. Confident, even.

Melissa seemed to sense it, too. Each time you stepped out to show her an outfit, she looked you up and down with a smile that was equal parts approval and pride. “Now this,” she said, adjusting the collar of a suit you were wearing, her fingers brushing against your collarbone. “This is what I’m talking about.”

Her hand lingered for a moment, her touch sending a thrill through you that left you breathless. And then, without warning, she leaned in and pressed a kiss to your nose, soft and warm against your skin. The act was quick but enough to make you widen your eyes.

“Perfect,” she murmured. “You look perfect.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, and you ducked your head, trying to hide the smile that tugged at your lips. But the Schemmenti woman wasn’t having it. She tipped your chin up with a gentle finger, her gaze intense as she looked at you.

“Don’t hide,” she spoke softly. “I want to see that smile.”

You couldn’t help it; you smiled, a soft, shy smile that felt a little too vulnerable, a little too real. But Melissa just smiled back, her gaze warm and unwavering.

“Good girl,” she murmured, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Now, let’s go pick out some accessories. Can’t have you looking half-done, can we?”

“No, ma'am,”

You followed her out of the fitting room, feeling a strange mix of excitement and nervousness. Each touch, each lingering look left you feeling more and more like you were on the edge of something—something you couldn’t quite name, but something you wanted more than anything. And as you walked by her side, her hand resting on your lower back, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you were already hers in more ways than you could admit.

As you followed Melissa through the boutique, your mind was still buzzing with the strange excitement and nervousness from her words. You had tried on a few outfits by now, each one more elegant and polished than the last. But something about the idea of being hers lingered in the back of your mind, making your pulse race and your hands tremble ever so slightly.

“Let’s check out the lingerie section,” the green eyed woman suggest, smooth and confident as she steered you toward a secluded corner of the store. The racks here were lined with delicate lace, silk, and satin, all in a rainbow of colors. But it was the deep purple set that caught your eye first.

It was beautiful—luxurious and eye-catching, a perfect shade of rich purple with intricate lace detailing, the kind of lingerie that made you feel like you were stepping into a world of indulgence. You reached out for it, running your fingers over the smooth fabric. The soft, luxurious material felt like a secret, something that belonged to you alone.

The older woman noticed your interest right away. Her gaze flickered to the set, then to you, and the corner of her mouth curled into a knowing smirk.

“Like what you see?”

You felt your heart race as you nodded, a small, awkward laugh escaping your lips. “It’s... it’s gorgeous.”

“Good,” she murmured, taking the set from your hands with ease. “I think you’d look perfect in it. And, if I’m being honest, I’m not just buying you clothes... I’m making sure you're well taken care of in every way.”

You swallowed, the intensity in her voice making your stomach flip. You tried to compose yourself, but it wasn’t easy. The idea of her buying you something so intimate felt overwhelming in the best possible way.

Without waiting for you to respond, Melissa walked to the register, the purple lingerie in her hands like it was already meant for you. She turned over her shoulder as she moved, her expression softening. “Don’t worry,” she added, “you’ll wear it for me soon enough.”

“What?”

You couldn’t help but shiver at her words, a heat flooding your body at the thought of her seeing you in it, touching you in it.

At the register, Melissa didn’t hesitate. She handed over the lingerie set along with a few other items, her face unreadable but her eyes glinting with something you couldn’t quite place.

When she came back to you, the shopping bag in hand, she gave you a little wink. “You’re gonna love it. And so will I.”

You didn’t trust yourself to speak. Your mind was still reeling from the intensity of the moment, from the way she made you feel like you were hers in ways you hadn’t even fully understood. The thought of wearing it for her, of being the person she chose to spoil and take care of, sent a jolt through you, and you weren’t sure if it was nervousness, excitement, or something else entirely.

But as Melissa led you back toward the exit of the boutique, her hand once again gently resting on your lower back, you couldn’t help but feel grateful, in awe of her confidence, her ability to make you feel seen and wanted in ways you’d never experienced before.

As you both made your way to the door, the weight of the shopping bags in your hands seemed to make the moment feel heavier, more real. Your nerves, still buzzing, didn't help the heat in your cheeks from all the attention Melissa had been showering on you. You could feel the weight of the purple lingerie in your bag like a secret, a promise, and it made your heart thud in your chest.

But then, as you approached the car, you hesitated. Your fingers clenched around the strap of the bag, and for a moment, you couldn’t tell if you were excited or terrified. You glanced up at her, who was busy unlocking the car, her back to you.

The way she’d spoken earlier, the way she took control, was almost too much to process. And then, as if sensing the shift in your mood, she turned to face you, her eyes narrowing slightly as she took in your lost expression.

Her face softened as she noticed the hesitation in your steps, but her voice dropped into something more serious. “What’s wrong? You’ve been quiet since we left the store, sweetheart.”

“I-”

You opened your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. You felt as though something was building inside you, a storm of emotions that you couldn’t quite name. The purple lingerie, her touch, the overwhelming sense of being wanted in ways you didn’t know you could be—it was all too much to process.

But before you could speak, Melissa raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a teasing but commanding smirk. Suddenly, she stopped walking. Her hand shot out, gripping your wrist with an unexpected firmness, pulling you gently but decisively toward her.

“Tell me. What are you doing?”

Instead of answering, you stood there, caught between the pull of her touch and the weight of her gaze, knowing that this moment was more than you could handle and yet somehow not wanting it to end.

And just like that, you were left hanging—unsure of what would happen next.

[emkayewrites]

Lukola fanfiction from Luke's POV- Luke and Nicola are filming the carriage scene but both of them secretly like each other - and both of them are unavailable.

(Excerpt taken from my fanfiction 'Curtain Fall')

5th November 2022 – London (UK)

It was a surreal experience to be on a soundstage, even though he had been on dozens of them by this point in his career.

The Bridgerton production did soundstages like nowhere else.  Everything was huge, and everything was opulent.  He stood in front of a dark blue, four-wheeled carriage.  It was elegant with an exterior adorned with intricate gold-leaf patterns and lacquered wood that contrasted sharply with its’ gleaming brass fittings.  It stood looking rather out of place in front of a giant green screen, in the middle of the chasmic space that was Soundstage 12. 

He was dressed in the finest formalwear that the Regency Period had to offer, and he was covered in what he approximated to be about twelve layers of make-up and two entire cans of hairspray. 

He usually felt a mixture of nerves and excitement before filming a scene as crucial as the one they were about to film.  Today, he was just plain nervous.

He was hardly able to take note of the other people on the soundstage.  At one far end, there were several chairs and tables surrounded by a small group of the hair and make-up team.  At another end, there were a handful of crew members working with cables, rigging and lighting fixtures.  Usually, he would be approaching them all, making small talk, trying to ease his own racing mind but he felt too unsettled to make conversation.

He knew that the way he was feeling was not just about the nature of the scene they were about to film.  It was about her.  She stood several feet away from him with Erika and John adding touches to her make-up and clothes.  She was resplendent in a shimmering baby blue gown that was cinched in a way that flattered both her waist and her ample breasts. 

Breasts he would have to touch again. 

All he wanted to do was to touch her again.

He felt nauseous.

At the same time, he knew that was the very last thing he should do.

He sensed there was something different in her since that night in his trailer too.  She appeared to keep more of a distance, the bantering dialogue they usually had was reduced to a few quips.  He could not be sure, but he felt some sort of frustration emanating from her.  As if she wanted to say something but could not.  He could also be imagining it. He did a lot of that recently.  Imagining conversations with her.  Imagining being with her.  He then got angry at himself.  Then he felt the inevitable anxiety that always came when he realised that he was having strong feelings for the woman he would now have to act like he was having strong feelings for. 

His fathers’ advice echoed in his mind: Keep the work as work, and don’t neglect your real life.  How could he do that when the real life was becoming his work, and the work was becoming his real life? 

Six burly-looking men of various ages approached the carriage.  Andrew trailed behind them, a headset wrapped around his neck and clipboard in hand.  Andrew, their director, was a slight man in his earlier forties with a refined yet approachable air about him.  He gestured for both Luke and Nicola to come towards him.

“Guys, guys… you both look incredible.” Andrew’s eyes beamed with enthusiasm. “Wow!”

In that moment, Luke felt thankful that it was Andrew who was going to be taking them through these scenes.  There was nothing like having a director that not only led you through your scenes, but also lifted you up and empowered you throughout the process. 

“Right, so the way we’ll do this is – the camera will be in the carriage with you guys, we’ll be back over here with the monitors to give that added illusion of intimacy in there.” Andrew explained, pointing to the monitor setup a few feet away.

“And these lovely men…” Andrew motioned to the guys standing by the carriage. “They will be our carriage hydraulics!  We can’t have the carriage attached to real horses for a scene like this, so this was Netflix’s next best offer.”

“Well, we’ll try not to make it too long of a shoot day for you guys.” Luke found himself saying with a nervous chuckle. 

“Right, so we’ll get you guys up into position…” Andrew nodded towards the carriage. 

Luke felt the instinct to go to Nicola, to take her by the hand and guide her up onto the carriage, but one of the carriage men beat him to it.

They stepped into the luxurious interior and seated themselves opposite one another as the script requested.  Andrew looked in through the window at them.

“So, we’ll be on the monitors and the camera will follow you from there…” He motioned to the other side of the carriage, where a camera was positioned, looking in at them through the window.

Luke watched Nicola orient herself, taking note of the cues Andrew was outlining.  He was taken aback by how intimate it all felt now that he was inside the carriage.  It was just going to be them and one camera.  

“That looking good to you, Luke?” Andrew interrupted his thoughts.  Luke was not sure he had taken everything in, but he felt compelled to nod. 

“Alright, so we’ve got this mixture of anger and hurt – but there is a tension running underneath it all.”  Andrew’s eyes lit up again. “It’s the tension of longing.  And that tension finally breaks to give us – the carriage scene!”

“Let’s do this!” Nicola high-fived Andrew, matching his excitement.

He could not ignore how she lit up when she smiled.  He thought about how it did not help that she was made up to resemble an actual Goddess on earth.

“Alright, great! On my cue, guys.” Andrew pulled the headset over his head and moved away from them.  They heard his echoing footsteps recede as the entire soundstage became eerily silent.  The lighting around them dimmed.  Suddenly, the carriage started to move in an undulating way. 

Luke’s eyes met Nicola’s and for a second, they both stifled a giggle at the ridiculousness of it all. 

They heard Andrew’s shout: “ACTION!”

Then their masks came down.

Nicola vanished, and the misty-eyed Penelope sat before him, a look of anger etched on her face.

He fixed her with a stoic look as he spoke: “You cannot marry that man. He will leave you, and he is too particular.”

He watched her watching him, her face getting angrier.

“And he is – he is just not right for you, Pen.” He continued, part-insisting, part-pleading.

She shook her head furiously at him. “He did not propose.”

He stared at her, stunned. 

“In fact, he rejected me because of you.” She practically spat the words out.  “Because the scene you caused led him to believe you have feelings for me.  An idea so preposterous, I do not know what to do besides laugh.”

There were times when she was acting that he found himself lost in what she was doing.  The way she conveyed emotions with so much power and grace.  He watched her with awe.

She continued, through gritted teeth: “Now, will you please leave me alone and let us ride home in silence?”

His heart was racing and there were tears in his eyes as he leaned forward.

“I cannot.” His tone was defiant.

“Please!” She snapped at him, near tears herself.

“I cannot!” He found himself snapping back, a hot, angry tear rolling down his cheek.  He could no longer tell if they were acting tears, or tears of real frustration. 

“Because…” He swallowed, as if mustering up his courage. “What if I did have feelings for you?”

He felt the nausea again. He wanted to remind himself that this was acting, that he should not be having such a visceral reaction to those words but at the same time, he knew it was helping his performance. 

“What?” She blinked at him, still frowning.

He moved so that he was closer to her and then knelt before her.  He was aware he was shaking.  His breath was laboured.

“I have spent so long trying to feel less, trying to be the kind of man society expects me to be.”  He reached forward for her hands, his nerves increasing as he was aware she was surely able to feel the sweat on his palms and feel how much he was shaking.  He found himself squeezing her hands tightly, as if to anchor himself.

“And for a moment, I thought I had succeeded.” He continued. “But these past few weeks have been full of confounding feelings.”

Where did Colin end and he begin?  He thought to himself.  He felt himself getting choked up.  He felt the weeks of frustration and conflicting emotions rising inside him. 

“Feelings like a total inability to stop thinking about you. About that kiss.”

She reacted to his words with a small gasp.

“Feelings like dreaming of you when I’m asleep.  And in fact, preferring sleep because that is where I might find you.  A feeling that is like torture.”

Speaking these words felt terrifying, electrifying and cathartic all at once. Another tear rolled down his cheek.

“One which I cannot… do not… and will not give up.” He spoke emphatically.

“Please. Do not say things you do not mean.” She shook her head at him, disbelieving.

“But I do mean it.  It is everything I have wanted to say to you… for weeks.”

An expression of confusion and pain appeared on her face.

“But… Colin, we are friends.”

Even though the rejection was merely playacting, it still stung.

“Yes, but we…” He spoke with hurt in his voice.  He wanted to say more but swallowed back his words and recomposed himself. He moved back to his seat. “Forgive me. I do not know what I was thinking.”

“But I’d very much like to be more than friends.” 

He stared at her with a mixture of amazement and desire.

“So much more.” She added, a look of longing in her eyes.

He moved closer to her, and for a moment, their faces met, and they took each other in, both breathing heavily.  All he wanted to do was to kiss her, but he was also terrified of what that would do to him.  Then, their mouths met in a passionate kiss.

He found his mind and body travel back… back to the inside of his trailer… back with his hands all over her.  Her mouth and body responded to his with a willingness and desire equal to his own.

He felt the stickiness of her lipstick smearing around the corners of his mouth, her hands in his hair – neither of them having any thought for their hair or make-up.

And then suddenly, he heard it as she did because they found themselves springing away from one another at the same time.

“CUUUUUUUUUUUT!”

A bright light exploded in their faces as the spotlight above them came back to life.  Andrew and Liam, the cinematographer, were stood by the window next to the camera.  Andrew surveyed their messy faces and hair with wide eyes.

“Woah, you guys were really into that.”

Luke instinctively wiped at his lips with the back of his hand as Nicola smoothed out the front of her dress.

“We’ve been yelling cut for over a minute while you did the kiss – we even timed it!” He laughed.

“Don’t say we don’t give you one hundred and ten percent.” Nicola joked.  Despite her humour, Luke sensed that she seemed unsettled.

“That’s for sure!” Andrew agreed. “Alright, let’s get hair and make-up in here and then we can get the next angle.”

Andrew and Liam moved away from the carriage.  Luke could hear the rest of the crew outside the carriage also dispersing as the normal noises of set life resumed. 

He watched Nicola as she touched gently at her own hair, assessing it for damage.

“You look beautiful.” He found himself saying out loud.

She stared him with a look he did not recognise.  She did not reply.

Quick little authors note: I watched the many interviews Nicola and Luke gave about the carriage scene, about how intense it was, and about how in one instance, they were so caught up filming that they did not hear ‘cut’ being called by the director. It inspired me to write a short story where Nicola and Luke really like each other, but don't know how the other feels, and have to hide it on set. In my mind, that was the only logical reason that this scene was so intense for them. It couldn’t possibly be that they are just such great actors ;) Anyway, that short chapter became the fanfiction I'm STILL writing about these two! So I hope you enjoyed what was actually the very first chapter of this story that I ever wrote -I built the rest of the story around it!

[buggybambi]

So glad you're back!! Would you ever consider writing for Carmy x Richie's younger sister again?? I had an idea (if you want to write it, please dont overwhelm yourself) where reader and Carmen are fighting while reader is pregnant with their first baby and Carmen says something kinda mean to her and then she goes into laboro unexpectedly?! And seeing how Richie would react to that and be so defensive of his little sister 🥹

hi love! hope this is okay :) | fem!reader, mentions of a hospital, nicu stay/labor

You know he didn't mean it. Calling you stupid for showing up to the Bear that day when there was tools laying about, too many unknown people being around. He was just a worried soon-to-be dad, but that didn't make it easier.

Carmen was always protective over you, and now that you two had a baby on the way, it heightened. He was already on edge with the amount of repairs being done that day in the Bear, and the hazardous scene the restaraunt was in. He was just stressed out and took it out on you, like an idiot.

You didn't stick around to hear his apology after the words slipped out of his mouth. "Why are you being so difficult about this!? Showing up here was fucking stupid of you!" Nat took you outside to get you both away from each other, give you both some space to breathe. You could hear Carmen leave the restaraunt, disappearing to who knows where.

You sigh as you lean against the fence outside, gripping it with one hand. "He didn't mean it, it's just- there's been a lot happening today. Like a lot. Our fridge guy couldn't come and then a health inspection." Nat tried to explain. You were barely listening as your eyes squeezed shut. The pain in your abdomen and back you'd been briefly experiencing for the past few minutes had subsided as you let out an exhale. Syd stepped out at the same time.

"Hey, woah, you alright?" She asks. "Yeah, yeah sorry. Just Braxton Hicks. They just haven't been this intense." You answer. Syd stares at you both before clearing her throat. "I think your water just broke." She says.

You stare at her for a second, almost laughing. "Funny, Syd, but this isn't the time-" You look down and realize she's right. Your water just broke. "No, no, no it's too soon. We don't.. Carmen has to be here. You say, your voice filled with panic.

"Honey, I don't think you have a choice. Let's go to the hospital, okay? Syd, call Richie and Carmen, tell them to meet us at Chicago West." Nat takes your hand, helping you walk around the corner to her car, where she proceeds to break more then a few traffic laws.

"Who the fuck are you to talk to my sister like that?" Richie demands. The two were going back and forth after Carmen got back to the restaraunt. "Richie, I'm not fucking doing this with you right now." Carmen argues.

Syd walks in, exhaling. "Do either of you check your phones?!" She asks. "I don't know, he's a dumbass." Richie comments as Carmen rolls his eyes.

"Mine's.." Carmen frantically searches his pockets. "It must be in my office. What's the matter?" He asks. Syd frowns. "Y/n went into labor outside, Nat took her to Chicago West. I've been trying to call you to get you there before you miss the birth."

Carmen's already out the door by the time she finishes talking.

────

"If Carmen misses this, I'm going to kill him." Nat comments as she puts a pillow under your back for support. You sigh, laying back. The room is mostly quiet, except for the beeping of equipment. Monitoring your heartrate, your baby's heartrate, your contractions. It feels surreal to watch them increase and decrease with spikes on the monitor.

"He won't miss this. He'll be here." You say, your voice laced with doubt. You knew if Sydney had gotten ahold of Carmen, he'd be speeding to the hospital. Your doctor had been trying to push back your labor as much as she can, but you knew you were about to start pushing soon.

"I really hope you're right. I'm gonna go get you more ice chips." She says, stepping out of the room. You stare at the heartbeat monitors before you hear a small knock on the door. You turn to find Carmen in the doorway. "Hi." He says softly.

You smile. "Hey. Nice of you to drop by." You say, waiting for him to come over to you. When he doesn't immediately, you hold your hand out for him. He practically runs, taking it. "I'm so sorry. For not being here and for what I said. I shouldn't have- you didn't deserve that."

You shake your head. "Carm, you're here now. I'm glad you are. I love your sister but she is not a good birthing coach." She comments as he laughs.

He presses a kiss to your head. "I'm here now." He says. You squeeze his hand lightly. "I know you are, Carmy." Nat smiles as she returns. "Good, you get to live. Here are your ice chips. Best of luck." She wishes, placing a kiss on your cheek.

You smile. "Thanks for being so helpful, Nat."

────

Within the next half hour, your baby boy was in the world. Laying on your chest, his tiny hand wrapped around Carmen's finger. "He's so perfect." Carmen whispers, his voice filled with such fondness.

You two decided on a name: Theodore "Teddy" Berzatto. He was perfect to you two. Your own little boy, your son.

Richie and the rest of the staff came by the hospital. You swooned over your big brother getting to hold your little boy. "He looks just like dad." Richie admits quietly. You nod. "He does. Looks like dad and Mikey." Carmen agrees.

Your son couldn't have been surrounded with more love.

[billybatsonbrainrot]

Very interested in 4. from the WIP game!

Goodbye Marvel: Based on issue#4 of the current Shazam run but with a few changes.

Billy is homeless but still part of the Justice League. His reason for being on the moon is still the same. The gods have been fighting for control over Captain Marvel and putting Billy in danger against his will. And then Zeus was about to give Billy's first kiss to a grown alien woman and Billy freaks out. He transforms back, which leads him to getting blasted into space.

The whole experience was surreal to Billy. He never really felt like he was actual danger whenever he was Captain Marvel. This was different than all the other times he's fought in a battle. He's transformed in the middle of a fight plenty of times but he's always able to turn back into Cap without worry and in the nick of time. But at least back then it was his choice on what fight to pick. He was brought here and put in this situation against his will all because the gods wanted people to worship them again and decided that using him as their puppet was the way to do it. He's never felt more betrayed.

It doesn't matter if he doesn't feel safe as Captain Marvel anymore because he can't transform now even to save his own life. He can't breathe. He was blasted into space without a helmet on and he's slowly losing air. Anything that came out of his mouth were just gasps for air as he slowly drifted away. He didn't even get the chance to tell anyone in the Justice League where he was, so he knew no one was coming to save him. It was only thanks to Zeus, who threw a lightning bolt his way because he felt a tad guilty for almost inadvertently killing their champion.

After Billy deals with mess, because of course he had to clean after the gods after nearly dying, he flies back to earth and transforms back into Billy before the gods even have the chance to do or say anything. He then runs into any abandoned building he could find for privacy, and he just breaks down.

He thinks of the events that just happened in space. How he almost died, but mostly of how alone he felt. He was going to die surrounded by nothingness instead of people by his side. And he probably won't even be the one everyone remembers, that would be Captain Marvel, the one people would search for if he ever went missing. Billy Batson would just be forgotten, known by no one. Those were his only thoughts when he nearly lost consciousness.

Billy continues to cry with no one to comfort him until he is eventually found by someone and the police come, and Billy lets himself be taken away. He's too tired to do anything. He doesn't care if he's going back into a foster home, he'll figure that out in the morning. He just wants an actual bed to sleep in and eat real food. After the day he had, it was the least he could do.

He'll just have to suck it up and be okay with whatever family they put him with until he has to run away again. Except, the Vasquez's aren't like any family he's ever been with. They give him the space he needs when they see his tear-stricken eyes, and they're understanding about it too, not asking too many questions.

Billy meets the siblings in the morning and already feels himself getting attached. They're bonded pretty well over breakfast, best food he's had in a while. Mary is nice, Freddy is funny, Pedro is shy, Eugene knows a lot about video games, and Darla is adorable. They're all understanding too, they don't make Billy feel like an outsider despite being a newcomer.

Billy doesn't run away, he stays.

Billy is confronted by something he never knew he wanted. He wants to be a regular kid, be part of a family, go to school, maybe even college. For the first time in his life, he's actually thinking about his future, not how he's going to survive the following week but years ahead. Maybe it was because the foster care system actually did something right and put him in a loving family. He didn't think it was possible for him to even think this way, to hold out hope for a future.

Billy's only problem now was Captain Marvel, the one thing that bought joy to his life now brings misery. There was a good chance that being Captain Marvel would bring chaos to not just him but his new family. And an even greater chance that he'll die in battle one day if the gods decided to act stupid again. He knows he has responsibilities, but he was too young to know what he was getting himself into.

Billy makes a rash decision; he's going to quit being Captain Marvel.

[catoperated]

At some point we’re gonna have to talk about how toxic websites like 4chan and Something Awful (rest in piss, Lowtax) influenced trans spaces online.

I only ever used SA back in the day, and it’s now mostly forgotten that “troon” came from a portmanteau of “trans goon” (goon being a member of something awful, not like a gooner… but, eh, it’s still apt), though it was always meant to be belittling.

And then there I was, a transmasc egg surrounded by transfemmes. I didn’t know how to express that I wanted what they had but different, cause I seriously didn’t know trans men existed back then. All I saw were transfemmes, and most of them were transmedicalists. I got called a transphobe when I said wearing a skirt shouldn’t be a required part of transitioning. I have since met many cool trans ladies who aren’t truscum, but the scars remain.

At the time I couldn’t fully articulate how uncomfortable I was with the idea of transitioning to the same old binary, because I also didn’t know GNC was a thing. So for a time I was suicidal because I had no idea of the options open to me. I’m not sure that reading Theory back then would have helped. Having read Theory now (both feminist and communist), I’ve come to the conclusion people lean on it way too much, take it way too literally, never considering that the things proposed have to be adapted to changing times and circumstances. It’s almost like evangelicals interpreting the Bible literally—to everyone’s detriment.

My point being, you can read anything, watch any YouTuber, but for fuck’s sake form your own opinions instead of just throwing books and videos at people like it’ll explain everything and also must be followed to the letter. It won’t, and it shouldn’t.

Yeah, I was also briefly suicidal over leftists dogpiling disability activists for daring to get groceries delivered or using plastic straws. Only other disabled people probably remember this, but it was perpetuated by that butter cat account, which was the most surreal fucking thing to watch unfold.

I’m just tired. Tired of self-proclaimed feminists failing to recognize the patriarchy is what makes us all suffer, including cis men, and that’s the real enemy. I know radfems are largely to blame for pushing the “all men bad” narrative again with the express purpose of dividing trans people, I’ve seen them cackling about what they get away with on accounts where they pretend to be trans. It’s sad people are making their work so easy for them.

I don’t hate or resent transwomen (I can’t remember if the space is preferred or not, but I’m sitting here sweating over it, afraid someone will call out my language when “troon” is already up there), but here I am right back at that awful feeling I had when trying to say skirts should not equal femininity. Fuck, I would probably be suicidal again if not for my partner, who is the best thing to ever happen in my life (love you, babe).

I don’t know how to word this better or more succinctly. My mind wanders a lot when writing. But it’s not just me, right? I see the schism forming and it’s bad for all of us, because the people who want us dead do not care how we present ourselves or how well we pass. We desperately need to support and uplift each other if we’re going to survive all the shit they keep throwing at us all in governments across the entire goddamn world.

So yeah, we need to look at how those websites poisoned the well, as it’s where that mentality of “if you’re not queer/trans in the proper way I deserve to call you a slur” mentality comes from. The pickme urge to go “I’m not like those cringe fags/trannies, I’m one of the cool ones,” too. To reiterate, the people who want us dead for existing do not care one way or the other.

Fuck, why am I worrying about how I word this? If people are gonna interpret this in bad faith there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I just wanted to get this off my zipper-tits—which I’m stealing from you fuckers who use it against transmascs. I got my dirty testosterone fingers all over it and it’s ruined now, sorry.

[jetsetlife138]

Imaginary: Reimagined (Alastor x Fem!Reader) - Chapter 1

Story Introduction: HERE

Chapter 1: The Descent

Chapter Rating: Mature

Chapter Warnings: Threats of dismemberment and mentions of cannibalism

Agony. No other term could capture the intensity of what unfolded during your descent into the foreboding unknown. Moments before your world unraveled, unaware of the impending danger, you casually strolled through the aisles of your local thrift store, seeking something worthwhile. Then, fate led you to an old, retro remote control from the 1950s—a curiosity too enticing to resist.

Upon picking up the remote and pressing a button, a transformative force seized you. A radiant light engulfed your senses as you found yourself drawn into a vortex of swirling colors and shapes. In the blink of an eye, you were thrust into an expansive, uncharted void, your body feeling as though it had been torn asunder and haphazardly reassembled with each passing moment. It was a visceral, merciless sensation, an ordeal unlike any you had ever encountered and never wished to endure again.

After what felt like an eternity, you descended from the emptiness of space, your body sprawled across a rigid surface. Your head weighed heavy, and tremors coursed through your body from the shock of the experience.

With cautious curiosity, you extended your arms to explore your surroundings, hesitant to open your eyes and confront this unfamiliar environment. Your hand hovered in the air until your palms met a solid surface, confirming your presence on stable ground.

It was difficult to decipher the noises around you considering the overwhelming ringing in your ears. Listening intently, you could ascertain a clamoring of hisses and whispers staggered around you. Strangely, the thought of that brought you a modicum of comfort. At least you weren’t dying alone… if that was really what was happening.

Summoning every ounce of remaining energy, you strained to focus on the individual voices nearby.

“What is it?”

“Dipshit, what does it look like? It’s another sinner.”

“Something ain’t right. They’re too… normal.”

“Too ‘normal’? The fuck does that mean?”

“Look at them! They look like we used to before we croaked.” 

“So… are they dead or alive?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know?”

“Have the rules changed?”

“Wait, has there ever been a living sinner here?”

“We should kill them, right? Or at least maim them?”

“Do you think there’s some kind of reward for turning them in?”

“Can we eat them?”

“Fuck yeah, at the very least we could gain favor with an Overlord for handing them over!”

“...Just a bite?”

It was a moment of utter disbelief. You were struggling to make sense of what you had heard. Could it be real? No, it couldn't possibly be. This surreal experience was undeniably overwhelming, and your mind must have been playing tricks on you.  From what little you could deduce, there was a gathering of people surrounding you and attempting to discern each individual voice only worsened your already fragile state of mind. Surely, they couldn't be uttering such outlandish things.

Hesitantly, you dared to open your eyes, blinking repeatedly due to the unexpected brightness. Once your vision had acclimated properly, your breath caught in your throat at the sight before you. Everything was… animated. It was as if you had been transported into an actual cartoon. Not only that, but it also appeared that you were surrounded by bizarre and slightly terrifying anthropomorphic creatures. Oh, shit. What kind of drug-induced haze did you get yourself into? Did you unknowingly drop acid? Did someone sneak an insane quantity of magic mushrooms into your lunch? No, no, no, this couldn’t be possible.

Rubbing your eyes in bewilderment, you choked down a terrified sob before daring to look around once again. Much to your dismay, your surroundings remained the same. 

As the surreal scene unfolded around you, grappling with its absurdity became an overwhelming challenge. A peculiar character advanced toward you, and in response, your instinctive reaction was to defensively raise your hands. Yet, as your eyes fell upon your own hands, a startled yelp escaped your lips. To your horror, they mirrored the animated and eerily two-dimensional nature of the bizarre world that enveloped you.

A wave of nausea swept over you, a sickening churn in your stomach as the surreal reality unfolded. The foundations of your understanding crumbled, leaving you in a disorienting state of disbelief. It felt like a twisted nightmare, an aberration that defied logic. The pressing question lingered: why weren't you waking up from this distorted dreamscape?

Continuing to survey the anomalous scene, your eyes locked onto one of the creepy creatures. Upon further inspection, she appeared to be a cross between a human and a snake, her eyes glowing yellow as she stared daggers at you.

“Where am I?” you questioned, your voice hoarse and thick with emotion.

The snake-girl cackled before hissing back at you, “Isn’t it obvious, girl? You’re in Hell!”

Hell? Is that what happened? You died, plummeted to Hell, and this was your eternal torment?

When you didn’t respond, one of the other creatures grew impatient, addressing you with a thunderous voice, “Why do you still look completely human? Are you alive or dead?”

“I don’t… I don’t know,” you murmured, shaking your head, still trying to cope with your current predicament.

Suddenly, you felt a firm grip on your arm as one of the beasts grabbed you harshly, raising you to your feet. “I call dibs! Finders keepers!”

“That’s bullshit!” one of the other beings snarled in return. “I saw her first!”

A tumult of heated exchanges echoed through the crowd, as each creature vied to claim you as their own. The air crackled with fervent disputes, some demanding specific body parts with unsettling propositions like, "Can I snag her left arm?" or "Dibs on her foot!" The macabre negotiations reached a disturbing crescendo, amplifying the sense of dread that permeated the surreal atmosphere.

Just as you teetered on the brink of a complete mental collapse, a distinctly light and feminine voice cut through the raucous crowd. "Everyone, stop! There’s no need for violence! Let’s keep our hands, claws, and any additional adjacent limbs to ourselves, please!"

The crowd quieted before they begrudgingly parted to reveal a far less terrifying-looking inhabitant, who, at first glance, seemed more human than the rest of the animalistic mob. She appeared to be a young woman with large doe eyes, long blonde hair, and red, rosy cheeks, giving her a somewhat innocent and endearing aura.

"There's nothing to see here, folks! The, uh… warm welcome for our newest sinner is appreciated, but she's coming with me," she declared authoritatively, though her demeanor was timid, as if she was nervously unsure of herself.

"Over my dead body!" one of the other creatures bellowed, followed by multiple jeers and agreement from the rest.

The young woman snarled, catching you off-guard when her face abruptly morphed into something else entirely. Horns sprouted from her head while her eyes glared with multiple shades of red hues. Baring sharp teeth, her menacing expression instantly silenced the others. After a brief moment, she effortlessly returned to her former and much less terrifying self. "As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I hereby decree that this particular sinner is under my protection… um… until further notice. Okay?"

Without warning, you were harshly shoved from behind, causing you to stumble towards the proclaimed princess who had just declared ownership over you.

She met your eyes with a tender smile, placing a hand on your shoulder before leaning toward you to speak in a hushed voice, "You're safe now, I promise. Just follow my lead."

All you could manage was a shaky nod, still unable to speak, though you were relieved that she came to your aid.

As you and the princess distanced yourselves from the ravenous mob, a clamor of discontent echoed behind you. They continued to hiss and growl in disapproval, clearly disappointed that they weren't able to feast on your flesh and bones… or do god knows what else. 

Your mind was foggy as you followed the princess to whatever unknown location she was leading you to. Dazed and feeling woozy, you struggled to comprehend your surroundings as you ventured further into what you now knew was Hell. As you repeatedly tried to pinch yourself awake, the realization dawned that this was no dream. Despite the absurdity, it felt too authentic to be a mere creation of your imagination. You couldn't have conjured up an entire world like this on your own.

"My name is Charlie, by the way," the princess greeted, cutting through the awkward silence. "Well, actually, it's Charlotte, but I prefer Charlie."

Barely managing a smile, you nodded again before stuttering out your name in return.

"It's so great to meet you!" she beamed, her smile radiating through the red haze of your surroundings. "So, um… how exactly did you end up here? We've never had an actual living soul… er… human here before! This is so crazy! Where did you come from?"

The princess struggled to contain her bubbling excitement, but her curiosity couldn't be withheld any longer.  You couldn't fault her for it. Amid the overwhelming unease and apprehension, you found yourself equally intrigued by the denizens of Hell, their peculiarities and mysteries stirring a profound curiosity within you. Despite this mutual fascination, you struggled to articulate the questions that swirled in your mind. The challenge of navigating your bewildering circumstances left you grappling for words, making the prospect of engaging in conversation even more daunting.

"Honestly… I don't know how I got here. My recent memories are hazy, at best. The last thing I can remember is visiting an antique shop. Next thing I know, I'm plummeting through different planes of existence that I didn't even know existed before I eventually landed in a place comparable to Alice in Wonderland's drug-induced nightmares, all while simultaneously morphing into a cartoon."

The princess tilted her head, perplexed by your descriptions. "A cartoon?" she questioned tentatively. "What is that, exactly?"

You gawked at her for a moment. Did she really not know? "Um… it's what you are. A cartoon is an illustration. A drawing. An exaggerated caricature based on real-life people, places, and everything in between. You know… cartoons?"

She maintained a puzzled stare, displaying evident confusion as she struggled to comprehend the unusual juxtaposition between the two-dimensional and three-dimensional realms you poorly attempted to convey. Expressing such an unconventional concept proved to be a challenging task.

In an effort to bridge the gap, you highlighted the stark distinctions between your reality and hers. "Where I come from, everything looks different compared to this place. For starters, it's not as… red." Oof. You really needed to work on your descriptive abilities. "Animations are a mimic of reality, so to speak. The people and places they're based on are created by artists, and their purpose is usually to tell stories and entertain an audience. The way you and your world look… Well, it's what we call a cartoon. It's… difficult to explain." 

Despite your endeavors, the intricacies of this explanation appeared to elude her, leaving an air of uncertainty. "I see..." she trailed off, clearly unsure of how to respond to that kind of information.

"So, uh," you stumbled, your hands awkwardly fidgeting as you attempted to steer the conversation in a different direction. "About those creatures back there—what's the deal with them? You look different from them. More like me, I guess?"

She smiled warmly at you, easing the tension a bit. "Those are Sinners, the inhabitants of this Ring of Hell. They were alive once, but now they're here in our Kingdom. Their appearance is less human-like because once the living descend to Hell, they become demons and lose some of their human attributes. They can be a little... aggressive." That was putting it mildly. "I look different because I'm not from the human world. I was born here in Hell."

"That's... pretty bizarre," you mused, the words more of a quiet reflection directed at yourself than a statement meant for her ears.

"Well, we can talk more about it later when you've had a chance to adjust. We're almost there!" she squealed with excitement.

"Where exactly are we headed?" you questioned, a tinge of uncertainty coloring your words as you debated whether to mirror her enthusiasm.

A discernible twinkle illuminated her eyes as she exclaimed, "I'm taking you to the Hazbin Hotel! It's the first-ever facility of its kind with its own demon-rehabilitation program!"

Charlie radiated pride as she spoke about the project, though the notion of a demon-rehabilitation facility in Hell struck you as nonsensical. "You have your own demon-rehabilitating facility? ...In Hell? Does that really work? I mean, isn't Hell supposed to be eternal punishment for whatever mistakes were made in life?"

"Well," she murmured shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before a surge of confidence overcame her. "It's still a work in progress, but I believe in it! In fact, we've recently employed some new staff members who are already providing some much-needed improvements!"

The entire conversation felt utterly absurd. In what twisted universe was demon rehabilitation a legitimate topic of discussion? Well, apparently, in this one. Wrapping your brain around the concept was a formidable challenge, and you harbored doubts about ever fully coming to terms with it. Nevertheless, this bizarre reality was your current existence, and accepting it became a necessary step if you wanted to navigate this unfamiliar terrain unscathed.

"Hey, for what it's worth, I find your mission really inspiring," you chimed in, making an effort to convey genuine compassion for her cause. "I mean, who wouldn't want a shot at redemption, right?"

Her hand found its way to her heart as Charlie bestowed upon you the most sincere and kind expression, releasing a sigh of relief. "Thank you, truly. I wish others were more optimistic about the idea."

As you strolled along, you observed Charlie's deliberate choice of secluded paths, steering clear of prying eyes and potential hazards. She offered a brief overview of Hell's districts, referred to by the various Rings. Gradually, she unveiled the revelation that you had landed in Pentagram City, situated within the Pride Ring. You had wondered if the other remaining Rings were similar to the one you found yourself in, or if they were perhaps better, or even worse. 

"We're here!" Charlie announced with genuine excitement as you turned the final corner. Her demeanor exuded pure radiance, and you couldn't help but wonder how this gentle soul could possibly be the Princess of Hell. It made no logical sense. Then again, nothing about that day did. 

Upon arriving at the hotel, you regarded the towering establishment in awe. It defied all logic, seemingly indifferent to the laws of physics, but such anomalies were par for the course in this cartoonish realm.

The majestic hotel stood as a resplendent and imposing structure. However, its grandeur was quickly overshadowed by an array of adjacent anomalies that seemed utterly out of place. Among these peculiarities stood a steam train engine,  a massive dilapidated boat,  a somewhat operational carousel, and an enigmatic blimp jutting out from the upper floors. Lastly, perched at the pinnacle, an old-fashioned radio tower bore a bright neon sign proclaiming 'On Air,' its luminosity likely visible for miles. The overall concept of the building evoked the imagery of a glitch in the Matrix, a surreal spectacle that defied conventional expectations..

Shaking off the initial stupor induced by the colossal structure, you trailed behind Charlie as she led you inside. The moment you crossed the threshold, you were greeted by a regal entryway that hinted at the grandeur awaiting you within. The architecture proved to be peculiar, to say the least, aligning seamlessly with the unsightly exterior. Everything within bore an exaggerated and uniquely eldritch stylization, a characteristic you found yourself gradually warming up to as you ventured further.

Advancing through the entrance and into the lobby, a mirror caught your attention from the corner of your eye. Approaching it with a mix of eagerness and trepidation, you swallowed hard as you braced to witness your body in illustrated form. When your reflection finally emerged, an unexpected burst of laughter escaped you. To your immense relief, you remained unmistakably yourself, albeit with features tweaked to align with the aesthetic of this newfound universe. The transition wasn't as jarring as you had initially feared, yet the surreal nature of the transformation lingered. Surprisingly, you found yourself navigating this unconventional reality with a semblance of sanity. Perhaps the expected delirium was delayed and would later emerge during a solitary moment of contemplation.  Ah, yes, the impending existential panic seemed far more plausible.

Aware of the inner turmoil brewing within you, Charlie approached cautiously from behind, her voice soft and gentle, likely to avoid startling you. "Take a moment, okay? I'll go get my partner, and then we can figure out a plan of action together!"

Canting your head in agreement, you observed Charlie as she skipped down the hall and vanished around a corner, leaving you alone with a cascade of thoughts. What was your next move? How could you find your way back home? Was escaping this bizarre realm even within the realm of possibility? And, most pressing, how could the hopeful and sweet Charlie protect you from the barbaric monsters that seemed intent on your demise?

Amidst the torrent of questions and concerns flooding your mind, a sudden chill in the air seized your attention, sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. Dismissing it as mere happenstance, you were caught off guard when a high-pitched ringing pierced the air, prompting you to flinch in discomfort. Scanning your surroundings, you struggled to pinpoint the source of the disconcerting sound.

Your unease escalated when a highly pronounced and static-filled voice, laden with malevolence, jolted you, alerting you to a foreboding presence behind you. "Well, well! What have we here?"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter End Notes: For those of you who have been reading since the beginning, how do you feel about the changes? I am open to any and all criticism.

Chapter 2: HERE

[leonstoenailunderhisbed]

Break me.

MDNI - 18+

Warning: no protection. p in v. no plot. subordinate/superior. office. age gap. hatred. female reader.

Summary: I had a dream about this exactly but I didn’t see his face so I’m just going to pretend it’s Leon.

………………………………………………………………………………….

You had been appointed to work under THE Leon Kennedy. Ever since you wanted to join the force, you’ve heard stories about the man’s adventures and you couldn’t wait for the day you would meet him. Unfortunately for you, he only thought of you as a pest.

Every time you’d see, you would say ‘Hi’ and the occasional ‘Good morning!’ But you were only met with a scowl and sometimes even a nod. You didn’t care, however. You were far too happy to even be in the same room as him. You pardoned his scowls and his harsh and cold tones whenever he spoke to you.

He would always reply with short words. The less he talked, the better. But you couldn’t blame him, he’s been through so much and he has all these emotions pent up inside. You’d catch him all by himself during breaks. He hated the company, he felt like he HAD to be involved in a conversation. Everything felt like a burden to him. Even you.

You were young and naive. Too happy, he thought. How can someone be so cheerful when there’s all this cruelty and chaos happening? He thought you were strange. But maybe that was how kids your age were nowadays. Brain dead, he called it.

You knew that underneath all that anger, was someone so compassionate and kind. But he’s been betrayed before and he wouldn’t want to go through that pain again. So he built walls around himself, to protect his peace. Until you came around.

You two were in the same office, same room as always. He was looking over some details about missions on his files. But what were you doing? You were talking nonstop. It’s become a habit of yours. And he doesn’t know why hasn’t stopped you from talking about whatever it is you had in your mind. Work gossip? You’d spill it. What you did over the weekend? You’d tell him in full detail. Usually he would ignore it, like I said, he thought you were strange.

That is until one day, you wore this cute little outfit and it hugged your figure just right. He wasn’t one to stare but damn did you look ravenous. Your tight clothes hugged your breasts and ass like a puzzle piece. You looked like a classical Greek sculpture. Surreal and ethereal.

But he wouldn’t say that to you. Never. He was older and he was your superior. Why would he have these thoughts about the young woman he worked with?

He was sitting down on a chair and you were standing as you read over some detail out loud to him. But he wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying, god no. He was scanning your body with that outfit. He felt hot and bothered that you looked this good.

He shifted in his seat as he noticed a growing bulge in his pants. He quickly put his hand over his bulge. He may be an asshole but he had manners.

Unfortunately for him, you noticed. And once you noticed, your cheeks grew red and your eyes widened ever so slightly. You quickly continued reading but you stuttered.

Cute, he thought. He’s got you flustered. He decided to play with you. He uncovered his hand and leaned back into his chair.

You know what they say about men taking up all the space? Yeah he did that too. He spread his legs apart as he got in a comfortable position. Making his boner very noticeable from this angle. He was huge.

You don’t know how it happened. You just found yourself kneeling down between his legs. Your hands gripping on his thighs as he slowly unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his cock.

You took his big cock on your mouth and felt his tip reach the back of your throat. You gagged and twirled your tongue around his thick shaft and sucked him like no tomorrow. His cock fucking your mouth as you bobbed your head back and forth. You felt your pussy grow wet and began to rub your swollen clit with your hand as your other hand held on to his thigh. Tears pricked at your eyes as you felt his cock twitch inside your mouth. His hands traveled to your head and gripped on your hair as he bucked his hips into your face, wanting you to take him fully. He kept thrusting into your throat until you felt his cock twitch and squirm in your mouth. He brought his hand down your jaw and forced you to open your mouth wider as he shot his cum in you.

The saltiness of his cum dripping down your throat as he pulled out from your mouth and forced your jaw to close. He looked down at you and spoke with his deep voice.

“Swallow.”

He commanded. You nodded and swallowed his cum.

As you stood up, you felt your thighs rub against each other as you grew wet from sucking his cock. You slowly pulled down your pants with your panties and got on his lap. You held on to his shoulders as he wrapped his big calloused hands on your waist. You leveled myself on top of his hardened length and slowly sank in. As you took him slowly, he threw his head back and closed his eyes tightly shut as he tried to suppress a groan of pleasure.

“Fuck y/n… you feel so good,” He mumbled against your ear.

Growing desperate, he harshly pulled you down so you could take his cock inside. He stretched you out completely and you moaned in reaction. He breathed out shakily as you began to move against him in a circular motion. Feeling his shaft inside you drove you wild. You brought your head to the crook of his neck and bit down to muffle any moans of pleasure. He grew desperate and began to lift you up and down on his cock. The sounds of your skin clashing against each other echoing through his office as you felt tears prick at your eyes. Pleasure washing over you as you felt his hand travel down to your bud and used his rough thumb to rub your swollen clit. You moaned his name as you became a hot mess.

“Leon,”

You felt your stomach tie up in knots as your walls began to clench around his thick manhood.

“I’m going to cum-“

You choked out through moans and whimpers and he only quickened his pace, driving you insane with his touch. No matter how much he hated you, he definitely knew how to prove it by fucking you so rough. Through one last thrust against your pussy, you came hard on his cock and your body spasmed. He kept thrusting in you, lifting you up and down through your high as you felt his cock twitch inside you. He grunted and he gripped on your sides as he pulled you down to the base of his cock and cummed inside you. His hot juices spurting inside you, hitting your deepest lengths. He pulled you to his chest as you rode his cock after he came, making sure you milked him of every last drop. You both remained there for a moment, panting and catching your breath after your intimate session. He pulled you away and stared into your eyes as you barely had the energy to move. He lifted you up and pulled out you. Once he pulled out, cum began to drip down the sides of your inner thighs to his chair. He used his index finger to pick up the cum and stuff it right back inside your pussy with no warning, earning a soft moan from you as you felt his long finger inside you. He pulled his finger away and gently lifted you off of him. You leaned on his desk for support as he began to clean you and his chair. He pulled his boxers up and put on his pants as he picked up your underwear from the floor and gently dressed you up. His hands working so lightly as if he was scared of breaking you.

And you would let him break you again.

[springalwayscomes]

Closer: Too Close (I)

Closer Closer: Too Close (Teaser) Next up: Closer: Too Close Masterlist Taglist

Plot: To have each other close is something that you both always wanted, in a way or another. It’s just that… closer may be too close for you to handle.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Domestic, Humor, Friends to Lovers

Wordcount: 47.5k

Content Warning: Dirty talk, swearing, pining, mentions of masturbation, masturbation, praise, cunnilingus, cum eating, unprotected sex, mentions of blowjob, squirting, public sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, love making, creampie

Author’s Note: Hello, here it is!! Honestly I didn’t think I would write a second part to Closer, I felt like the end of it was the best I could give to these two, but it received so much love and when I read it again I couldn’t hold myself back, they just make me want to write more about them. Still, I consider the first part the main one, you can read that without having to read this. I would add though, that these two here just make me want to scream for the bond they have so I hope you’ll like this as well. I didn’t say the time I would publish it to feel a little more relaxed with the editing but you asked me before and I thought I’d make it on time for 1 am KST so sorry if I kept you waiting! I hope you’ll like this, and happy birthday Jungkook! Take this as a little gift💜

P.s. I hate tumblr, I had to split the story in different parts because it was too slow and apparently every post has a limit of 1000 blocks, so here you’ll be able to finish your reading:

Closer: Too Close, it’s all part of the same story!

If you want to be tagged in my taglist to get notified when my other works will come out let me know here, under this post, with a message or an ask. Feel free to talk to me for whatever, I always appreciate your messages!🫶🏻💜

Jungkook wishes you didn’t look so beautiful. So pretty in his arms, all for him to admire as your breaths come out in soft sighs, pillowy lips so ready to be kissed. Having you like this makes his mind spin. Fuck, how lucky he must’ve been in his past life. He wonders if there you met him too, if it was in the same way, if you were the same as now. You must’ve been a nymph, surely. Or a princess, the sun, a rainbow maybe. It’s weird, how in this life you still manage to be all of that for him. 

At some point you fell asleep. In his arms, naturally and lovingly, your fingers stopped tracing patterns on his abdomen, your breath got deeper, your eyelashes fluttered shut, you nose nuzzled against his chest and all he could think about was how much he loves you. How you put the stars in his skies, how you make his world spin. And suddenly, he couldn’t sleep. Not with you beside him, your warmth around him after making love to him for the first time. He just can’t, too taken by the sight of you. 

So adorable, he scrunches his nose. So pretty. His arms wrap tighter around you, a soft and sweet kiss lays on your head and Jungkook can’t believe he finally gets to do this, have you whole. You love him. Fuck, it feels surreal. You love him, you fucking do. He’s too excited to sleep, too happy. Overwhelmed, would be the right word. 

He strokes a strand of your hair behind your ear and a second later you’re murmuring something in your sleep, lips pouty and eyebrows furrowed. He giggles at your cuteness, not really understanding what you’re saying until your fingers dip into the skin of his chest.

«Koo» your voice is grumpy and low and Jungkook holds you tighter until there isn’t any space left. 

«Baby» he coos, drunk smile on his face. You’re probably dreaming, still he can’t  hold himself back.

«Love you» you murmur.

The silence in the room makes your words louder even though they came out so low. His heart thumps against his rib cage and suddenly he finds it hard to breathe. Your scent takes over him, his hands feel heavier on your skin, eyes lost on your face.

«Are you awake?» he mumbles. Your answer doesn’t come, silence still filling the air and your soft breath accompanying it. 

«Please» he whines, it’s soft and gentle and unexpectedly he’s nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck.  

«Hhm» your annoyed moan makes him smile on your skin, just right before he leaves a peck on it. 

«Please» he stretches the word out, still nuzzling his nose into you. 

«Anno- ying» you groan, raspy voice. Jungkook hums as his lips stretch against you, his hands coming to stroke your hair.

«What do you want?» you mumble in your sleep.

«Sorry I woke you» he whispers. You shake your head, sleepy but holding tighter to him. 

«What is it?» 

He doesn’t know it either.

«Can’t sleep beside you» his answer makes your head shoot up, puffy eyes staring at him and view foggy.

«You want me to go to my bed?» you ask meekly. You wish you didn’t have to ask, it feels so good to sleep in his arms. Tomorrow he has to work though, and sleep is very much needed, so maybe you should go. 

«Fuck, no» he shakes his head eagerly, eyes staring right up into yours.

«Why would I want that?» 

«You said you-» you yawn «you can’t sleep beside me»

Jungkook scrunches his nose, cuteness overloaded. It makes your senses wake up just to pinch it between your fingers, his lips pouting when you do so. 

His hands travel to the back of your legs, they grab your skin lightly and he opens your left one with a soft motion, pushing himself between them for as much as he can from the position. He takes in your scent and hugs you tight, nose brushing on your clavicle.

«Not in that way» he murmurs, a soft dreamy sigh leaving his lips. Your heart clenches in your chest, now you’re even more awake. You love him so much. You wish you could stay like this all day, in bed with his hair tickling your skin and his soft breath fanning your skin. 

He hides his face against you, feels the warmth of you in his arms. 

«Feeling needy» he whines, words muffled against you and voice weak almost as he’s succumbing to your presence, cheeks reddish. He hides more into you.

«Needy?» you coo. Jungkook nods against you, literally shielding his face from your view. You stroke his hair, kiss the crown of his head. 

«You woke me up cause you’re feeling needy?» you smile.

He whines against you, lips pouting again.

«I shouldn’t have» he mumbles, slightly embarrassed. You love it, like this. Getting to see him in this way, in this state, fragile and vulnerable, all for you to take care of. It makes you smile wider.

«Why?» you breathe, your fingers slide down behind his neck. He whines again.

«Don’t make fun of me» 

«I’m not» you kiss his head.

«You can do it as much as you want» you smile.

He shakes his head against you.

«You should sleep» 

«Then let’s sleep» you fake a yawn, the tender hand that was stroking his skin comes back at your side and Jungkook wails again. 

«So annoying» he mumbles. You hold back your laughter, closing your eyes. Silence echoes in the air and for a bunch of seconds he waits for you to burst out in a melodic laugh, but you don’t, so all he can do is groan cutely, finally getting away from his hideout and poking your cheek. The roundness of it when you smile makes him scrunch his nose again, suddenly feeling the need to dive into the space do your neck again. He lays his head just there, eyelashes fluttering on your skin.

«What are you needy for?» you mumble, your hand moving back to its original place. He hums contently, shaking his head.

«Don’t know» he sighs.

«Cuddles?» you coo. You don’t care if you’re going to fall asleep at work tomorrow. You don’t give a shit, not when he’s lying in your hold and it took you so fucking much to realise that what you’re feeling in your chest isn’t just pure affection. You want to scatter love all over him and give him everything he needs, every single thing. 

«Mngh… cuddles» he echoes softly, feeling the word and the way it sounds so sweet when his mind links it your face. He nods, a peck on your neck. 

«Don’t know what I want-» he gulps «just want you close» 

Your leg wraps around his waist, another kiss on his head.

«Feeling overwhelmed» he lets out.

«Overwhelmed?» you massage his shoulders. Jungkook shivers against you and it makes you giggle silently.

«Hhm,» he hums «still not used to this»

You nod. You’re not either. You wish you could keep him in your pocket, take him to work and just feel his presence beside you for the whole day tomorrow. You need time to get used to this, to him being your person, even though he’s always been. You wish you had the whole day, you’d spend it on the couch and at home out of reach of public’s eyes, still getting used to how it feels to wrap your arms around each other with such tenderness and intimacy.

«Me neither baby» you puff. His hand gets to your back, fingers rubbing underneath his shirt on the soft skin. It makes him hold his breath, it’s shaky when it comes out. 

«Tighter» he mewls. You squeeze him, his chest against you and his nose deep into your skin, eyes closed as he lingers in the feeling. 

«Love you so much» he murmurs. 

Jungkook feels so vulnerable, like he could break anytime in your arms, like his heart is out of his chest, thumping and clenching and beating just for you, all for you. He feels exposed, totally frail and friable, even though your arms around him and your kisses on his head are the safest fort. 

«I love you» you say back. And god, he doesn’t care if you already said it a bunch of times tonight, if you’ll say it a handful tomorrow and the next day, twenty times the next week and an infinity of them for the others to come, he’ll never get used to it, never. 

You kiss his neck, your arms come on his back to relax his muscles. And suddenly, he’s squirming in your hold, shivers on his skin that make him lose his mind, all the love in his chest setting fire to his limbs. 

«What is it?» you whisper. Jungkook nuzzles against you desperately, his hands coming down on your asscheeks. He kneads the skin, squeezes it between his fingers, pushes your body more into his.

«Wanna feel you» it’s all he mumbles. 

You’re combusting, cheeks already hot and a drunk smile taking over your face, eyes glittering with love. Fuck, you do love him. So much, so deep, so effortlessly, so consumingly. You’re in every cell of his body, screaming and pleading to have you in every possible way. Your hands cup the back of his head, you pull him slightly to make him look at you, his big eyes are moist, glassy with all the intensity of what he’s feeling. 

«You make me lose it,» you exhale through your mouth «feel like I’m going to explode from how much I love you»

You see his eyebrows furrow, the emotions in his stare take over him and all he can do is smile in such a way that your mind goes blank; it’s full of love, full of tenderness, adoration, weakness. Like he gives up on himself and just drains into you and you and only you. His hand cups your cheeks, soft and gentle his fingers stroke your skin, his forehead touches against yours as the fingers of his other hand dig into your waist.

«Lose it then,» he whispers «please» totally breathless. Fuck, you do. All you can do is lose it, succumb, melt. 

Your lips push against him, your hands slide between your bodies, your digits caress his chest, nails lightly dig into his skin, so soft but firm. Jungkook hisses, his cock twitches and all he manages to do is moan and moan and moan again in your mouth. It makes you wet, desperate just like him. 

«Fuck» he whines against your lips, your pads caressing his nipple. 

«Love it when you whine like that» you breathe, your lips kissing his neck. He throws his head back, leaving you all the space you need as he shudders with his hands on your thighs. 

«So- so desperate» it’s a wail, and you can’t think straight, can’t think properly. 

Your tongue licks his clavicle, you take his nipple in your mouth, suck it just enough to make him look back at you, you have the ability to turn him into a puddle without doing anything. Your fingers link around the band of his boxers, pushing them down enough to get a hold of the skin underneath, and you can’t help but squeeze his firm asscheek in your hand, lips leaving kisses on his chest. Jungkook is out of breath already, ruts his cock against you, fully hard and begging to be inside you. 

«Clothes- bra, please» he can’t speak, doesn’t even know how to formulate a sentence properly. It makes you giggle against his abs, your eyes falling on his face. His cheeks are flushed, hair in the way, lips swollen from all the kisses you already shared. You’re so impatient that you take off your bra and your panties without even realising it, his boxers too, and a second later you’re straddling him on the bed, your core pushing against the muscle of his thigh and your hands all over him. He cups your breast, pulls you to him and cages his strong arms around you with such delicacy, as if you were made of glass. Your nipples brush against his chest and a deep moan escapes your mouth, his head spins. It’s you, it’s fucking you. The meaning of all this,  the reason of everything. You make him breathless, crazy, desperate. 

«Can’t-» he breathes hard «can’t even speak»

«It’s okay, baby» you kiss his lips.

He shakes his head, his fingers intertwine with yours and you smile against his lips as he hisses, his cock leaking precum. You feel it twitch against your belly and hell, you’re really going to lose it; seeing him like this, never anyone turned you on so much, this bad. Only him, he’s the only one. The only one that makes you think that you’d be down to do anything, to try anything with. 

«Please» he begs. Your hand wraps around him, his half lidded eyes look at you as you guide him into you, the feeling intoxicating. Jungkook throws his head back on the pillow as soon as his cockhead caresses your core, your wetness mixing with his precum as you let him enter, filling you up slowly and so incredibly good. 

He finds himself totally absorbed, rapted by the way you make him feel. Not once in his life he felt this way, loved so deeply, craved so much, there was not a single time when he felt the need to surrender to someone in this maddening, sweet and consuming way. It’s just… you. It’s your ways, your motions, your soul, the safeness he’s engulfed in when you’re with him, your love. He wants to succumb even more, get so lost that he can barely breath cause fuck, you’re the essence of everything. There’s no point if it’s not you, no meaning. 

«Love, baby- nngh, fuck» he wails. His cheeks are reddish, eyes closed shut and lips open and swollen, eyebrows contracted in pleasure as you fully take him. 

Your head spins as you move slowly, his lids open to meet your gaze and he… he never felt so loved. The way you look at him makes his chest heavier, fuller. He’ll never get used to it. His hands roam your body, his touch makes your skin fire up, every inch feels like an eternity, ink marking you of abstract emotions that could never be explained. He cups your breast and opens his legs just enough to feel more comfortable, bending them at his knees against the mattress, his breath fans your skin. Your movements pick up, your hips move more on his and the way his cock fills you up so beautifully makes you moan on top of him, the angle slightly changed from the movement of his legs. Jungkook digs his  fingers into your skin, your hand on his chest and the other supporting your weight on the bed, your hair fall at your sides and built up walls to shield you and him from the rest of the world. His eyes mark every inch of skin from your eyes to your lips, they flutter and close and then open again, dark and glittery they look at you with all the fondness and vulnerability he never showed to anyone, whines escaping his mouth and ending with nothing but dull silence and the sound of your wetness.

He pushes you more into him, chest entirely against his, nipples tight to his pecs, the feeling consuming and never enough. His arm wraps around your back again and he links his hand to yours, your full weight now against him without the support of your limb on the bed. Jungkook kisses your neck, palms your asscheek and squeezes the skin, pushes you onto him more. He shivers underneath you, the pleasure of having you so intimately makes him throb inside you with every thrust, already too close to his release, your moans in his ears and your hands travelling behind his shoulder blades. It’s needy and full of vulnerability, hands roaming each other’s bodies just for the need of having you close, closer, to get more from each other than what you’re already giving. To belong more, to love harder.

Everything is perfect, he is perfect. You wish you could have him like this everyday, every second, feel him this close forever. Jungkook’s moans vibrate against your skin, both of his hands on your ass as he moves his hips upwards meeting your movements. The pleasure is too much, it’s too good. 

Your head falls on his chest as you stop your motions, he keeps you in place with his hands on your asscheeks, cock rutting inside you slightly faster but still so fucking sweet and alluring. Your chest is bursting, heart beating so loud that you hear it in your ears, body on fire with the warmth of him, sweats mixing together. 

«Tell- tell me you love me» he whispers, a kiss lays on the crown of your head as your head is still lingering on his chest. You nod against him, kiss the ripples of the muscles between his pecs. 

«Love you, I love you» you moan. His breath seems to get even heavier, your walls pulsate around him and they make his cock feel even bigger inside you, the fullness too good to be real. 

«Love you, love every- oh my god, Jungkook» your whine makes him leak even more precum, your juices together are so slippery that the sounds in the room are totally filthy and unfiltered. 

«Love everything about you, every cell of you. Love you, love you» you breathe. Jungkook is on the edge, your words light up a fire that doesn’t seem to simmer down, the taste of his orgasm already hovers over him and your skin under his fingers burns, the fullness of his hands with your flesh makes him feel the luckiest man in the world. 

«Baby, fuck» he moan, his head falling backwards on the pillows. You raise yours, look at him to take in the expanse of his neck, eyes glued to your love. 

«When you- nngh» he shudders under you, face contracted in bliss, «when you sp-speak like tha-ath» he whines. 

You shake, you’re not really sure if it’s because of the pleasure or because of how he looks, how he sounds. He ruins you, in every way possible. He ruins you with his whines, with how much he loves you so deeply and profoundly, with all of him; you’re so fucking in love that you can’t hold it back and all you want to do is explode and fucking let him know; that you’re sorry, cause he hurt so much, cause you made him worry, that you didn’t realise sooner. That you love him, so much you can’t put it into words.

«I love you» you kiss the side of his neck, lips tracing a wet path until you get to his jaw, his chin, the mole under his lips. You don’t kiss them though, stay on them as you speak and breathe hard, moan on top of him as you lips brush against his: «Love you so much I can’t hold it. Wanna have you all for me, only me. Want you every night, every day» 

Jungkook is in a haze, his fingers dig deeper into your skin until he realises that he wants to feel more of you, so they travel on your back, one rests there and the other cups your cheek, his eyes stare at your face trying as much as he can to keep them open. You’re so beautiful, look so ethereal, so angelic.

«I want to have all of you. Wanna be your safe place, wanna be yours. Forever, never want this to end» you shiver under his gaze. And fuck, all he can do is kiss you, so deep and passionate that you both feel like you’re about to combust together. It’s too much, for the both of you. Too good, too deep, too beautiful. 

«Never wanna lose this» you breathe. Jungkook nods eagerly, he wishes he could say that yes, fuck he’d follow you in another life too, the next one and the next one afterwards, the one before this if he could go back to it. In every single one, every single version of you, every fucking time. 

«Not- not gonna hap-pen» he stumbles on his words, lips speaking against you in slow movements too taken aback from how good it feels.

«Loved you- for so long, baby. Not- not gonna lose this, ever» it’s all he manages to blurt out, your hands are staining his chest and they leave love stains that will be hard to wash away, to ever forget. 

«Kiss me, pl- please» he shudders. You lock your lips with his and Jungkook feels totally engulfed, loved all over, totally safe and sound. Your tongues slide with each other, whimpers in your mouth as he moves slowly inside you, eyes stinging even though they are shut, breaths ragged. The way he squeezes every part of you, feels his cock swollen and throbbing against your g-spot, your soft lips so lovingly, your scent all around him. Shit, the things he’d do for you. The love he wants to give, the amount he wants to take.

Your kiss makes him dive deeper, Jungkook is totally lost and exposed, every single part of him displayed for you and totally vulnerable, so ready for you to take over. You could take everything, all of him, every single part. And fuck, you do, and you make him yours. So yours that all he can do is whimper and whine in your mouth, his hips stuttering as he cums inside you, body writhing under yours, your walls squeezing him tight as you come on top of him, legs trembling with aftershocks, the wave of pleasure too much to hold back and too sweet to decline. 

He kisses you for long, even while the both of you cum your lips stay on each other, after you come down from your climax, when the feeling is still too sweet to let go. Your arms stay around each other, your skins glide and his cock is still so deep, both of your juices on the base of his length, still moving slowly. It’s so heavenly and blissful that all you want is for him to never let go, stay inside you for as much as he can. 

Jungkook keeps you close, eyes shut as you both keep exchanging love, never getting tired. When you smile against his mouth you feel his heart pound underneath you and your digits dig into his chest, his rosy cheeks waiting for you hands to cup them as you slowly part from him. Jungkook looks totally fucked out, but more from the feeling of having each other like this than the act of what you just did itself, and it makes you heart beat even louder. Not even a moment later he’s smiling as gloriously as the morning sky, lips stretching and bunny teeth showing, eyes glittering with emotions that still haven’t been described yet by words, the meaning of them too deep and heavy to just be translated in letters. 

Mondays are awful, absolute hell for who gets to spend the weekend relaxing and for those who don’t, sometimes you wonder if it’s the same for who works on Saturday too, maybe it would be better to work and relax on Sunday and have a free day during the week, like Eunji. 

Today though, it’s especially worse. Having to leave Jungkook’s arms makes your mood drop even before you’re fully awake, already craving for the evening to come. 

You wish you could stay in bed more, lay beside him and watch him sleep, hear his soft breaths and linger in the warmth of his body. He’s still naked, the memories of yesterday night still fresh and replaying in your mind, a drunk love smile invading your features and reassuring you at least a little bit. You were too into each other to even get up and dress for the night, your clothes still on the floor. You didn’t even wash and the thought makes you grimace. You need a shower, absolutely. Not before you dig your lips into his puffy cheeks though. 

His hair are all over the place, arms wrapped around you so tight that you find it hard to move, legs intertwined and holding you down, your head at the height of his chest. You move slow and try your best not to wake him up, he snores lightly and you bite your lips to hold back a giggle. He’s so beautiful that you feel like crying, you wish you could paint him suddenly. Your kiss lays on his cheek, the fullness of it makes you scrunch your nose and suddenly he’s writhing underneath you, grumpy and sleepy. You still but kiss him anyway, his arms holding you tighter. He smiles as he realises what’s happening, heart thumbing first thing in the morning. 

«Sleep more» he mumbles. His voice is raspy and low and you mentally pin to your mind that you want to spend a full morning with him in bed as soon as you can, possibly on Saturday. 

«I have to get ready» you say. Jungkook whines, shaking his head and moving his legs, he creates a cage around you with his right one, throws it over your hip and pulls you against him with the ball of his foot. He shivers when he feels your bare skin against his cock, only now realising that you’re still both naked from last night. 

«How much time do we have?» he has his eyes closed, lips pouty as he speaks.

You try to move to get a grab of his phone on his nightstand since yours is still in the clothes on the floor, but he doesn’t seem to get it and only whines at you, wrapping around you tighter.

«Let me check the time» you smile. He seems to loosen up his hold and you manage to pass his shoulder and get his phone from behind him. 

«I have to be out in thirty» you nod.

He huffs annoyed, he’s not ready to let go of you yet.

«I’ll take you» he mumbles. You shake your head.

«Sleep some more»

«Please? Let me take you» he whines and pouts and all you can do is deeply breathe in. Too cute.

«Will you make it on time?» you blurt. He beams widely, nodding yes.

«I’ll be on time,» he keeps nodding «are we taking a shower?» 

Your eyebrows furrow, his eyes are puffy as he looks at your confused expression.

«We?»

He nods again, a peck on the tip of your nose. 

«We didn’t wash last night» he explains. 

«We’re showering, but in different bathrooms» you’re already trying to free yourself from him when you speak, Jungkook’s pouty lips in deep contrast with the strength of his body as he keeps you against him. 

«Why?» he mewls. 

«We don’t have time to shower together» you huff. He shakes his head.

«It’s the same as showering on your own! We’ll be fast, I promise» 

«Jungkook, no. Let me get up» his arms loosen around you, giving you the space to free yourself. He knows that tone, very well. It leaves him taken aback though, especially in such a situation when a second before you were smiling at him. He stays still, lets you get out of the bed and looks at you as you stand up, fully naked for his eyes. You pick up your garments, check the notifications on your phone. After you’re done you turn to him, push your knee on the bed and bend towards him. The kiss you leave on his forehead makes his chest burn and fill with happiness again, his hands cupping your cheeks as he makes you still in place. He sits up and kisses your lips, a soft peck that leaves its mark on you for the rest of the day. You smile softly and a second later you’re out of his bedroom.

Your day has been awful, one of those that you want to forget, call it a day and just wake up tomorrow. You had a three hour meeting that never seemed to end, one of your clients was rude and you almost ended up throwing him your notebook, hoping to hit him right in the face. You’re not the kind of person who looses her calm easily, but he spurred you on so much that you lost it for a second, your fist thumping against the table. You had a break of twenty minutes to eat lunch and went back to your office to finish reading the papers of your next client, after waiting for him for thirty minutes you called him just to hear him say that he forgot about the appointment. Thank god it’s over, is all you can think about. 

Jungkook called you at lunch, his bubbly tone reassured you as you ate your salad, telling you how is morning went. 

Finally, you get out of the building, eyes roaming on the street for your taxi. You sigh relieved when you finally sit inside, the driver already starting the engine to take you to Taehyung’s place. The road is not really long but there’s a little bit of traffic so all you can do is stare outside and listen to the music coming from the radio until your phone rings, Jungkook’s name lights up the screen and your lips stretch in advance as you bring it to your ear.

«Kook» you call.

He beams as he keeps his eyes on the road.

«I’m coming to get you but there’s a bit of traffic. I think I’ll be there in-»

«Oh, you’re coming?» you echo.

«I booked a taxi, I’m on my way already» 

This morning he didn’t tell you he would come and pick you up from work, at lunch neither. 

«Of course I’m coming» he speaks slowly. His tone is low and he sounds definitely less bright then when you started the call. 

«You didn’t tell me» you murmur. Jungkook frowns.

«I thought it was obvious» he mumbles. He’s disappointed but all he can do for now is turn on the left and get back to the main road. 

«Are you still going to Taehyung’s?» 

«Of course» you nod. You wait for him to say something but silence fills the air and you end up staring outside once more.

«Are you mad?» you shrink in your seat.

Jungkook munches on the inside of his lips, head shaking.

«No,» he mumbles «just disappointed. I wanted to spend some time together before going»

«Oh, I’m sorry» you sigh. 

«I didn’t think about it, I just-»

«It’s okay, baby. Don’t worry» he smiles a bit. Your tone sounds low and it’s far from what he wanted for you to sound like when he called.

«Just call me next time» he smiles more.

«I will» you nod.

«I’ll be there in ten minutes I think, is there so much traffic?» you ask. The road that you’re on seems slightly more free than the one before, there are a lot of cars but it’s not too bad, you can still move without having to stop every two minutes. 

Jungkook huffs.

«A little. I guess it will take me twenty minutes at least. Are they ordering dinner or cooking?»

«Hoseok told me they want to eat pizza» you inform. 

«Can you order for me too?» he looks at the screen almost as if you could see his pouty lips.

«Do you want your usual?» 

«Yes,» he nods «I’m so hungry» 

«You ate too little at lunch» you scold. Jungkook shrugs as he finally turns around and enters the main road. 

«I wasn’t that hungry at lunch» 

«I know but you should eat enough to get you to dinner» you sing-song. 

«Ugh, so annoying» he sighs, a smile stretching on his face. You shake your head, eyes going back to the street.

«I’m almost there, see you in a bit?» 

He nods.

«Yes, I’m on the main road. See you in a bit» 

You’re about to close the call when he calls your name again.

«Y/n?» 

«Mh?» you hum. He bites on his lower lip, a bubbly feeling making its way in his chest.

«I love you» he hums back, voice soft. It comes out too hard to hold back your smile, cheeks burning.

«I love you too»

Jungkook wishes you didn’t agree to spend your evening like this. All he could think about today was how much he wanted work to end so that he could come and pick you up, go home and spend some time together. Watching a movie, cooking, laying in bed, whatever would have been fine as long as he could’ve basked in you and your presence. When he saw the messages on your group chat after lunch, he didn’t think you would say yes but after twenty minutes, your reply lit up his screen and all he could do was agree too. He didn’t want to stay home alone if he could be with you somewhere else so he didn’t have any choice left. As he stares at his reflection in the elevator though, he doesn’t look as gloomy as it sounds. His cheeks are full, a beam on his face at the thought of the reaction of your friends at the news of what happened, it makes him eager to get out from the doors and knock at the apartment.

Yoongi opens the door, Hyunjoo by his side smiling at the maknae. He takes his shoes off and lets them at the entrance, taking in the sight of the room as he greets his friends. 

«Y/n?» he asks to Jimin after Taehyung pats him on the shoulder. His friend points at the kitchen.

«In the kitchen,» he answers «she’s with Eunji» 

Jungkook nods, his friend furrows his eyebrows and pouts slightly as he nods, as to say “go and get her”. It makes Jungkook lick his lips, eyes travelling to the door of the kitchen as he shakes his head. 

«Don’t think so but-» Eunji stops talking when the door opens, her eyes scanning the intruder and then going back to the counter, she stirs something in the pan without even bowing to him, too used to each others’ presence. 

«Aren’t we getting pizza?» Jungkook asks as he comes in. She nods at him, his eyes smiling at you. 

«Didn’t feel like eating that much, I ate a lot at lunch» she answers. You chuckle softly.

«Yeah, yeah» you move your head to a beat that only you can hear «Are you beatboxing?» you laugh.

Jungkook bursts out laughing, Eunji seems to understand your joke only after a few seconds.

«Jimin tells me I speak in rhymes a lot these days» she laughs.

«Please don’t get used to it» Jungkook titters at her, stopping in the middle of the room. Eunji shakes her head, focusing on the food and he looks at you with his eyes all smiley and glittery. You find your insides melting and all you can do is smile back, getting a handful of the napkins on the counter and turning around it. You walk towards him, Jungkook is about to open his arms at you but you seem to fasten your pace and a second later you’re passing beside him like he wasn’t there in the first place. He sees you walk out of the kitchen and turn the corner, taking the napkins with you to set the table in the living room. 

He stays still for a minute, Eunji humming as she cooks totally unaware of what just happened and of his confused mind. Why would you do that? 

«When’s dinner coming?» his friend yells from in front of him. He blinks at the wall, Jin responding from the other room.

«In twenty» 

Eunji nods to herself, turning around to Jungkook.

«Can you tell Jimin to come?» she asks. He nods, not really understanding.

«Can’t you yell some more?» he teases. Eunji rolls her eyes at him.

«You’re a good friend, Jungkook» she smiles annoyingly and he just shakes his head, already strolling to the living room to get Jimin. When his friend leaves for the kitchen, he realises you’re nowhere to be seen. 

He wanders around the house for a bit, goes to the balcony, peeks into the gym space, turns in the hallway until he stops in front of the bathroom. He stills for a second pondering on what to do, maybe you’re inside? 

«Y/n?» he calls. Your hum confirms his thoughts. 

«Can I come in?» 

A second later the handle lowers and your face shows in front of him, nodding and  about to walk out. He grabs your wrist sweetly, eyes meeting yours as he stops you in place. You look taken aback, even more when he guides you inside and shuts the door behind you. 

«What are you doing?» you ask. Jungkook shakes his head.

«Did something happen?» he questions munching on the inside of his lips. You shake your head.

«Nothing happened. Why?» you ask back. He pouts in respond. 

«You didn’t greet me» he murmurs low. Your smile softens his insides as you get closer to him. 

«Poor baby» you mumble sweetly, hand cupping his cheek. 

«You wanted a kiss?» you coo. 

«Sorry, didn’t want to do it in front of Eunji» 

Jungkook’s mouth opens slightly, not really expecting your words. He doesn’t manage to answer back, your lips touch his and all he does is melt into you, the way your petals feel so soft and full, the taste of your lip balm so sweet. It’s slow and lovely, your thumb brushes against his cheek and he turns into a puddle right away, eyelashes fluttering. 

«Missed you so much» he whispers against you, your heart clenches.

«I missed you too» your hands reach his nape, you caress his head as he kisses your cheek, giggles erupting from his chest when you tickle a sweet spot behind his ear, his nose scrunching cutely. 

«Sorry about before. And the taxi. I really didn’t think-» he pecks your lips.

«It’s all fine. Don’t worry» another peck.

«I wish we stayed home tonight,» another one «wanted to cook you dinner»

«Let’s do it tomorrow?» you ask. Jungkook nods as he lets his arms wrap around your waist, squeezing you to him.

«Wait, did you come because of me?» you giggle. He nods against you, kissing the tip of your nose. You shriek when he unexpectedly grabs you by the back of your thighs, he laughs at your reaction as he places you on the sink, your knees at the sides of his waist and his hands going back to your back. 

«Sshh» he chuckles, his forefinger on his lips. You shake your head, his hands cup your face and you find yourself giggling when his lips kiss every inch of your face quickly and endlessly, pecks left on your nose, lips, chin, your cheek, your forehead. Jungkook giggles with you as he does so, just the melody of your laughter is enough to make him feel as light as a feather. 

«So pretty» he coos. 

«Stop, it’s ticklish» you giggle. He shakes his head, leaving another peck on the tip of your nose. You have to grab him by his cheeks and pull him to you to make him stop, your kiss stilling him in place, totally taken aback. For a second, he doesn’t move, his mind goes back to how worried he was yesterday at lunch when he thought he had lost his best friend. It makes him beam against you when you part and scrunch your nose at him, cutely angry for not responding the kiss. He kisses you right back, your soft and airy giggles fill up the air again as he rubs his nose against yours sharing an eskimo kiss. 

«Yes» he blurts out stilling. You raise your eyebrows confused.

«I came because of you. Why did you agree? Couldn’t we stay at home?» he whines.

«Usually we don’t go to places together if we don’t feel like it» you wonder. Jungkook parts a little.

«We don’t. But I thought- after what happened yesterday I thought-» he stutters a bit «we could stay home and- I don’t know» he looks down.

«I wanted to be with you and… don’t know, whatever would’ve been good»

«Oh» you let out. Jungkook doesn’t budge in front of you, eyes back on your face and expression a bit disappointed. 

«Baby, I’m really sorry. I suck, sorry» you murmur «I’m sorry about the taxi and before and this too. It’s just- it’s new and- I thought about staying home too and I wanted it a lot but- I don’t know, we didn’t talk about it and when Taehyung asked I just said yes out of habit. I thought you wanted to come, I should’ve-»

«Hey stop, stop» he rubs his nose against yours once more.

«It’s okay» he kisses the tip. 

«It just hurts a bit cause I thought that you didn’t want to stay home? Like- of course you would want to spend time with our friends but- after what happened I thought we both wanted to be with each other and- just-»

«I want to. I really, really want to. Really» you nod.

«I thought about you all day long. I had a shitty day and what got me through it was the thought of coming home to you. I wanted to cuddle or just do anything too. I don’t know, when he asked I just- I’m not good at this yet. Like, I don’t think I can balance our relationship yet. I’m used to us being friends and spending time like this, I didn’t think you would mind coming here cause that’s what we usually do, I said yes cause I thought you would want to come. I’m - I’m sorry» your rant comes to an end and you’re out of breath, Jungkook’s lips are fighting a smile as he tries to stay lucid for a second.

«We need to communicate better,» he sighs, the smile taking over him «definitely» he adds.

«I’ll tell you about my plans and you can tell me yours. It’s better, isn’t it?» his forehead touches yours as his arms wrap around you, he pushes himself to you, hugging you tight and never wanting to let go. You hum on his face, slightly nodding for as much as the position allows.

«So, will we do that tomorrow? Stay home?» you mumble. 

«If you want to» he breathes. You nod eagerly, parting from him.

«Thanks god, yes I want to. Wanted to stay home today too» you giggle. Jungkook loses his sanity, your essence invades every cell of him and makes them go crazy with affection.

«Do you want to leave?» he chuckles. 

«You think we could? I mean- wouldn’t it be weird?» 

«Why would it?» he kisses your cheek. You use your feet to bring him closer, wrapping your legs around him and when he looks at you his eyes are full of tenderness.

«They don’t know yet» you shrug.

«We could just be tired. And we could tell them» he whispers, his fingers brush away a hair that’s about to come in the way of your eye. You hold his wrist and stop his movement, the soft kiss that you lay on the back of his hand makes his mind weak and the way you intertwine your fingers with his it’s even worse.

«Do you really want to leave?» you ask. He raises his eyebrows.

«After dinner? We eat and go» he mumbles. It makes you laugh, it’s totally a Jungkook thing to do. 

«Never say no to pizza» you joke, his cheeks getting fuller as he stares at you with his big dark eyes.

«I would now, but Tae payed for them. It would be rude» 

«I know, I was just joking. When you’re hungry you malfunction, usually» you explain. He blows on your face faking annoyance.

«Let’s go home after we eat» you nod. He pecks your lips happily.

«Great» he chimes, bunny teeth showing from how wide he’s smiling. 

«Can I get another kiss?» 

You don’t even let him take in your actions, already pulling him to you and placing your lips on his, totally rushed and needy to feel the softness of his petals. He moans against you, your tongue slides inside his mouth and you feel like on the edge of a cliff with your heart in your throat and your senses tingling. You cradle his hair with your fingers, caress his head as you deepen the kiss, eyes closed. Jungkook feels himself getting closer to losing his hold on the world with you fitting so sweetly in his arms. If he thinks he has to let go to go back to the living room all he wants to do is lead you to the front door and get you to his car to take you home and just bask in your presence. 

He lingers in the sensation more, not ready to let go yet. 

«Baby» he whimpers against you when you slightly dig your teeth in his lower lip. 

«I love you» you murmur. 

And fuck, it makes him really lose it. His breath gets cut off, jaw clenching as he breathes in deeper. It’s so good when you say it, sounds so beautiful, so melodic. He can’t believe it’s for him, his ears to hear.

«Love you» you repeat, hands on his shoulder blades and nose bumping into his. He smiles with his eyes shut, cheeks staining of a faint shade of red as his mind gets filled with the need of having you close.

«Can- can you… do you want to…» he doesn’t end his sentence, he looks away from you as he munches on his lips nervously. The sudden shift of his behaviour makes you frown in confusion.

«What?» you coo. Jungkook shakes his head.

«Nothing, let’s go out?» he tries. He sees you, narrowing your eyes at him and trying to understand what he’s thinking about, lips contracted in the slightest scowl. 

«Love» you call. He shuts his eyes, the nickname still makes him uneasy with the emotions in his chest, all soft and mushy.

«Tell me» 

«I…» he licks his lips, «I want you» he murmurs, his eyes meeting yours again. Silence fills the air, his skin burns in worry and embarrassment with the new information he just let out, mind spinning to try and catch the slightest hint of discomfort in your features.

«Now? Here?» you’re taken aback, and Jungkook can hear it loud and clear, of course you would be. It would be better to just go back and wait for the pizza with the others, they’re probably looking for you at this point.

«I’m sorry, let’s just- go back and-»

«Come here» you smile, grabbing him by his hips and pulling him to you. His eyes widen, his body is totally limp as you keep him close.

«What do you want?» you huff happily. He breathes in through his teeth, chest feeling too tight and weary to hold back the maddening beating of his heart.

«Can’t you tell?» he exhales, slightly getting brave and pushing himself between your legs. His cock is half hard, you feel it against your trousers and god, does it do things to you. You wish you would be home already.

«Not really» you bluffer. He scoffs, the air coming out of his nose fans your face.

His hands grab the flesh of your thighs, his cheeks are still painted of a fair shade or red.

«Want you close» he hums. With you, it’s always like this, always the need of being closer. You fill all his senses, all the space, every inch of him until all he can do is crave and yearn and lose himself, trying to keep his mind lucid with little might. 

«We’re quite close» you smile. He whines and closes his eyes, so annoying. 

«Let’s just go back» he mumbles, skin burning and chest divided in two between giving up on his shyness and just tell you he wants to bury himself deep inside you and feel every inch of your skin and open the door to the outside world. 

«Please? I want to hear you say it» you mewl. Your tone makes his inner battle pointless, his digits dig into you.

«Wanna be inside you,» he breathes «feel you so close» 

It’s all you need to hear. Your lips touch his, soft petals parting for you without even having to ask for permission, totally giving up on his rationality. You hum in his mouth and smile against him and Jungkook feels himself growing harder already, you do things to him that make him bewildered. How you manage to get him hard just by doing nothing is a mystery that he doesn’t want to answer, not when you don’t mind at least. And you don’t seem to do so, cause your hand is cupping him through his trousers, and fuck, he gets as hard as a rock. The whine that he lets out in your mouth makes you just as desperate as he is, and when he ruts his hips against your hand you know that there’s no going back.

«Please» he begs. Your hands move fast, almost as if you didn’t have time to lose, cause you really don’t have it. Unbuckling his belt and then opening the button and the fly of his jeans, he watches you as your attention shifts on the garment, your lips pouty and focused and eyes fixed on your task, he really believes that he might die just from the sight of you. So beautiful, so pretty, so his. Fucking his. The thought makes him bite his lips harshly, hips stuttering against your hands. You hum a soft titter, let your eyes travel to his.

«Give me a second» you smile, pecking his lips sweetly. He nods with his mind empty, totally entranced by the feeling of your fingers linking around the band of his boxers and pushing the fabric down with his jeans, the cloths follow the curve of his hips without you even having to focus on it too much. They stay midway on his thighs and he’s already grabbing you by the back of your thighs, carefully raising you on the counter.

«Take ‘em off» he huffs. His strength makes you quiver as you unbutton your sailor pants, your heels tracing the back of his legs as you move. He holds back a moan when your hand bumps against his cockhead while you lower your zip, puts you back on the counter after you lower them a bit on your back, the position too uncomfortable to take them off. He helps you lower them on your thighs until they eventually fall on your ankles, the wide cut leg not helpful at all. And god have mercy, fuck, when he sees your panties the grunt that comes out of his throat makes you shiver, the red lace unbearable to his sanity. 

«Shit, I love them» he breathes. Your snort makes him giggle lightly and his eyes move from them to your face and then back to the material between your thighs.

«Really?» you coo. He nods fervently, lets his hand slide between your legs to cup your core from your panties, hissing through his teeth at the contact.

«Fuck, yes. I love them. I love you, you’re perfect» his sentences are rushed, he sounds almost childish before he kisses you with need, his lips against you as his other limb comes to the side of you to balance his weight while he slightly pushes you backwards. 

«Mine, mine. All mine» he wheezes. There’s the glittery glow of a feeling inside you that squeezes its presence around your clenching heart, heavy but fluttering it makes you nod with all your belief as you feel his fingers push your panties to the side. His thumb brushes against your clit and all you can do is bite your lips and try as much as you can not to moan, your arms wrapping behind his neck. Jungkook smiles, kisses you more. 

«Want you, please» you beg. He wouldn’t decline you even in another life and his cock is too hard to even think about it, it’s twitching and leaking precum and all he wants to do is mix it with your juices and make you feel good, feel you close and wrapped around him.

«Please, inside»

«Open your legs a bit» he instructs, eyes soft as he watches you do so. He lays his forehead against yours, holds his cock from the base as he pushes himself between your thighs and guides it to your entrance. His cockhead slides between your pussy lips and he can’t hold back, moans out loud and throws his head back at your softness, your juices covering him. Every time, every fucking time you make him feel helpless. You kiss the column of his neck, lower your hands on his asscheeks, squeeze his skin in your palms. 

«We need to be quiet» you whisper. He knows. Fuck, he knows but it’s too much. He doesn’t think he can do it, you’re too perfect, too good to him. He huffs a breath and looks at you, cheeks a bit reddish.

«Sorry, feels too good» he keens. Your beam makes him smile and he gets back to his ministrations with his lips getting bitten by his teeth, eyes on your face that make you want to lose your calm as he repeats to himself that he needs to stay quiet. His cock is heavy, throbbing against you and practically begging for your walls to squeeze him tight and you can’t wait to feel him closer, feel his skin against yours and his breath rough. Even as he digs into you your eyes stay on his face, his pupils into yours. 

It’s so saccharine that you feel like all the world is made of stars, of his essence, his comfort. He fills you up so good, the stretch slightly uncomfortable but always so ravishing inside you, you can feel every movement, every throb of him and your walls are so eager that they instantly tighten around him and his brain shuts down.

«Baby, if you do that- I don’t think I… shit, too good» he mewls. You take off one of  your heels with the help of the tip of your other shoe, the right one following right after. Your pants slip totally down now without the support of the shoes holding their cloth from underneath, they land in front of Jungkook’s feet and you dig your calves in the back of his legs, too eager to have him closer, your arms on his back make his chest weigh over yours until he’s as linked to you as he can, breasts pressing against him.

«God, shit. I love you» the way he blurts it out makes your breath halt, your heart flutters and shakes at the same time. He watches your lips turning into a beam, your neediness reaching peaks you didn’t think were possible. 

He moves inside you, his waist ruts against yours in little movements almost as if to part from the warmth you’re providing him would be a crime, his arms holding you up from behind your back and your shoulder blade. The position is new, the pleasure skyrocketing in such little time that the both of you are panting in quiet breaths in a matter of seconds. Having him so close supporting you as he moves slowly, his eyes on your face as you moan silently, his breath  uneven, the pleasure taking over his features, it feels like safeness. Like a shelter from the world, a new pot to grow your roots in, to bloom flowers and plant new seeds, protected and shielded by his arms and the way his fingers dig into your skin and write silent promises that only you and him can read.

«I love you too» you let out. Jungkook kisses you again, he pushes you more towards the edge of the sink with his hands and goes back to properly holding you up, lips brushing against you as he pushes inside you. The new found closeness makes you even more eager, your hands digging deeper into his asscheeks. 

«So good, feels so good» you whisper. 

«Yeah? Like this? You like it like this?» he puffs out. Your walls engulf him so good that he feels all of his might crumble, his breath ragged as he ruts inside you. You nod breathless, throwing your head back. 

Jungkook looks at your face from the mirror and even though he can’t see it all, it makes him ache more, longing for you even though you’re all for him already. It turns him crazy, overwhelmed every time, never enough. 

«So good, yes. I love it» you whine under your breath. The sounds are muffled, the only things hearable your breaths and the wet sounds coming from his cock filling you up and his balls slapping against your ass, moans soft and as quiet as possible. Jungkook drowns every second more into you, it can’t be stopped and all he can do is be honest with it and let your love take over him even as he pounds softly into you in the bathroom. Where you are doesn’t change it; what you’re doing, the way he loves you, how much he wishes he could melt into you and mix in every way possible. You test his limits, pull him along, ruin him in every way possible, it’s sweet and consuming and he only wants to have more, his hand warm as he cups your cheek and kisses you deeper, only for you. 

«Fuck. Are you really mine? All mine, only for me» he whispers. His words send you on the edge, walls pulsating around him, way too much pleasure filling up every nerve of your body.

«I promise. Only you, Jungkook» you dig your face in the crook of his neck, pressing your lips into his skin and trying to hold back your sounds for as much as you can. His movements make you bounce a little, the air seems to get thicker and heavier and the feeling of being so close pushes you over the edge, the thought of needing each other so desperately that you actually find yourself in this type of situation makes you dizzy and weak, so much that you contract around him and cum in spasms. Your body trembles as he whines out loud not able to hold back, his cum bursting out of his cock as his hand cups the back of your head and fumbles with your hair. The amount of cum he leaks seems to be unstoppable, so much that for a second he fears that it will spill out of you and spoil the sink even while he’s still on his high, his knees wobbly and his chest heavy as he holds you so tight that you feel the beat of his heart against yours. 

He stays silent, listens to your breaths uneven and feels the way your walls clench from time to time, his cock buried inside you still half hard. Jungkook doesn’t know what to do with himself and what he’s feeling, these emotions are too much to handle, but all he knows is that the closer he gets the closer he wants to be. So he keeps you close, just like he always did for all these years but with a new intimacy in which you both linger in, totally fragile and exposed for each other. Only when his fingers trace the back of your neck you realise that your cheeks are stained with tears, eyes burning as you open them again. 

You love him, you wish there was a better word to describe it but it hasn’t been invented yet, you think there will never be one strong and heavy enough to describe what you feel for this man, your best friend and finally, your lover. You love him so deeply and without conjectures and presumptions, you love him behind words, behind actions, you just love him. So much that it’s hard to control it, you wonder how the hell didn’t you notice, how couldn’t you realise that for all these years this was already there. How is it possible, to be so blind? To have love in your pot, soul, water, roots intertwined and feel support deep in every single part of your leaves but not realise that it’s just because there’s him keeping you up with his.

«Baby» he calls, his hand strokes your back as you sniff, your nose digs into the skin of his neck. Panic takes over him, heart beating loudly and fear filling up his eyes. 

«Did I- god, did I hurt you? I’m so- fuck, I didn’t notice, I’m so sor-»

«No» you shake your head slightly, your hands hugging his back tight. 

«Nothing happened, I’m sorry» you kiss his skin.

«Just feeling overwhelmed. Keep hugging me?» you snuffle. His heart throbs, arms immediately wrapping tighter around you as the fright in his chest summers down. He breathes in your scent, massages your back, kisses your shoulders and the skin of your neck he manages to reach.

«I got you» he strokes your hair.

«I always got you» he promises. The words make you inhale deeply, your chest is on the verge of exploding but the tears on your cheeks are drying. He keeps you so close that at some point you find it hard to picture you standing to leave the bathroom, craving for his warmth even though you haven’t left it yet. 

«I love you» he rustles. You nod.

«I love you too. A fucking lot» 

It makes him guffaw and it’s so hearty and free that your heart feels like it’s getting washed and made brand new only to reach a new peak in loving him, more than before. 

His chest rumbles against yours, your giggles filling up the air too. You wonder if your friends are waiting for you, asking themselves where the hell did you go, why would you vanish away like that, if they heard anything; still, it’s too good to let go yet. Even when Jungkook places his hands on your shoulders and lightly tugs you to look you in the eyes, even when he brushes a strand away from your face, even if the overwhelming feeling summered down a little, even if he smiles at you and your chest feels lighter. 

«What do you feel?» he asks. 

«Love» it’s the only thing that comes to your mind.

«I feel love, all over and all inside and it’s overwhelming but so good. I love it, I love you» you rant. His cheeks fill up, cheekbones high and eyes made of stars. 

«I feel better,» you let him know «I think we can go?»

«Let’s get cleaned up and eat, wanna cuddle when we go home» he hums. You shake your head yes, Jungkook pecks your lips but doesn’t budge when you rest your hands on his hips.

«Koo, we need to go» you smile amused. 

«Sorry, feels good being inside you» he sighs. He guides his cock out of you, takes a good look at your pussy before closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, his chest swells up and you can’t hold back your laughter.

«That good?» 

«More than you can imagine» he laughs. 

You’re about to jump down from the sink to get a tissue when he stops you by placing his hands at your sides.

«Let me do it?» he quietly chimes. You nod shyly, the action new. Of all the times you had sex, this never happened most probably because after coming down from your highs all you did was lay just a bunch of minutes on his chest, running away the seconds right after cause it was too intimate to stay more. He didn’t get the chance to bask in these moments fully, take care of you in the way he craved for, in the way he wanted. Last night too, you were too spent to even think about washing, when he woke you up at three am feeling needy it was pretty much just the same. But now, now that he gets to do it, it makes your cheeks burn. It’s so intimate and chaste and when he lowers with the paper between his fingers all you can do is look at his expression focused, his lips pouting and eyebrows cocked, his other hand resting on your thigh. The tissue dries your juices and his, he watches as the last drop of his cum leaks out from your entrance and for a moment all he wants to do is wipe it with his finger and lead it to your mouth but he restrains himself and absorbs it with the paper instead. 

«Gonna wash you clean when we get home» he hums. You shake your head, feeling slightly tipsy with him. 

«Let’s go?» you ask. He raises up, cleans himself with another tissue as best as he can and puts his boxers back in place with his jeans, he does the same with your panties and your sailor pants, helps you zip them up and close the button when you finally stand. When you put your heels back on he lays a kiss on the crown of your head and takes you by the hand, all smiley and as soft as a cloud. He doesn’t expect you to leave his hand when he opens the door of the bathroom.

«Wait a bit?» you coo. He stands still, blinks at your face taken aback. He just nods, and a second later you’re turning around the corner.

Your friends are all over the place, Hyunjoo and Yoongi laughing with Eunji, Jimin and Taehyung drinking on the sofa and apparently not a sight of the food on the table yet.

«Dinner?» you ask. Jin’s eyes widen.

«Yah! Where were you?» he exclaims, patting your shoulder. You shrug.

«Went to the bathroom, my stomach hurt»

«Oh, did you eat well at lunch?» 

You’re about to answer him but a second later your attention gets taken by your friend on the couch.

«Jungkookah!» Taehyung yells, eyes on the younger man as he strolls into the living room.

«Where have you been?»

«Bathroom» he simply mumbles. Jin’s eyes widen by your side, lips sealed shut after he licks them and tries to hide a smile. You’re two idiots, could’ve at least make up something before coming out. Nevertheless, he pretends that he didn’t hear anything.

Your cheeks burn and suddenly you want to dig a hole and hide yourself in it.

«The delivery is running late» he informs you. You don’t really know what to do with the information, especially when your eyes meet Jungkook’s and he shies away sitting on the couch and turning to Taehyung.

The ride home is short, the traffic not a burden anymore and the music filling up the car light, your window open and the soft breeze tickles your skin just in the right way. Jungkook looks at you from time to time, a beam lighting up his features. Despite the fact that he felt a little disappointed before when you let go of his hand and acted like nothing happened between you at all for the whole time you were at your friends’ place, he doesn’t talk about it. It’s all new, fresh and you both need time to adjust to each other, he guesses. Especially with other people around. It was enough when you talked in the bathroom before. He just hopes that he will get the chance to show you affection in public too, in general. Being like you were before you faced your feelings for each other is beautiful, it makes him realise that what you have is deeper than what it seems, but he still wishes he could act like the person who loves you. 

So for now, he thinks he just wants to face what matters the most; what happens with closed doors, the things only him and you know. 

His hand caresses your thigh as he enters the parking lot, a cheeky bunny smile spreads on his lips.

«You still want to cuddle?» 

Your answer isn’t one of those that simply are made of words. No, you have to wrap your fist around his heart and make it stop beating, just to make it go crazy when it starts again. You bend over, lips smacking against his cheek loudly, the kiss one of those that usually little kids would give to their parents, playful and childish enough to turn him into a puddle. Jungkook stops the car as he’s about to park, turns around and stares you with his eyes wide open as if you had three heads. The unsettlement in his features slowly changes into realisation and then into mischief, until he huffs and decides to finish his initial ministration. He parks the car, turns down the engine, stays still and silent on his seat. Just as you’re about to open the car door, he squeezes your cheeks with his hand and smacks his lips on yours, his thumb and the rest of his fingers dig into your skin as he keeps his mouth on yours in a never ending peck. At some point your cheeks hurt with his hold and the smile trying to take over your features, until he finally lets go and breathes out the biggest “mwah” you’ve ever heard. You snort at him, make your way out of the car as he stares at you. There are just some things that never change, he thinks. 

The whole situation reminds him of when you first started to live together, that time that he was playing on his phone and you came in the way, made him lose the game just because you wanted to make ponytails with his hair, took a photo right after that still lives in your phone and told him he was cute as hell, just to leave him bewildered and alone back on the couch, still with his hair full of pinkish hair ties and his heart pounding for the compliment, the words game over on his screen perfect for describing the situation. 

«Are you coming?» you knock on his window. He wonders when will you stop looking this cute as hell, but he guesses that all he has to do is give up and fall in love with you every second more. 

Loving Jungkook comes naturally. It’s always been inside you, from the moment you met him to the moment that you realised it, in every move and action. It’s just, it’s still new. It’s fresh, and it’s weird to finally face it and bare your emotions, it’s thrilling and the rush in your veins every time you meet his eyes makes your breath stop. It’s beautiful, but it’s a bit frightening too.

You love him, god if you do. You love him with every cell of your body, you love every single fiber of him, every inch of skin, every breathtaking flaw and every curve of his soul. Getting used to it though, it’s a total different thing. He’s still your best friend, the one that you grew up with in all these years, the one that you used to tease and argue with, probably the person that you got mad with more than anyone else and the safe place that always got you in every situation, the one that reassured you when things were hard, that hugged you when some nights were too hard to bare on your own. 

And for some reason, it’s scary. Not in a dreadful way, it’s not your feelings, it’s just… you guess it’s just the whole situation. Getting to realise that now he has that space in you, that hold on your heart, that space in your life. 

«Are you going to shower?» he beams from the door, locking it shut as you take your shoes off and leave them before the stair in the entrance. You nod, feet already walking mindlessly as he does the same with his shoes. 

«Wait for me?» he mumbles, voice low and hopeful. You stop in your trucks, turning to look at him you find him munching on the inside of his lips, a habit that always made your eyes stare a bit too much. He notices, how your shoulders hang low and your eyes look away, crawling to find an escape. It makes him gulp nervously and shake his head slow. 

«Nevermind,» he breathes «I’ll shower too, do you want to- cuddle on the couch?» 

«Couch» you quietly nod. He does the same, smiling at you to let you know that don’t worry, I’ll wait if that’s what you need.

He doesn’t say it though, and he hopes that the words written in his glittery eyes are enough clear for you to catch them and make them yours. He watches you turn the corner, steps velvety on the floor and the sound of your bedroom door closing. 

He knows how upsetting it can be, to face something this big. Not upsetting in a way that makes you want to go back to where you stepped before, at least that was only for him cause he was sure as hell that you didn’t feel the same for him, but upsetting because it’s just a new space, a new realisation. So he knows, he knows that you need a bit of time cause he knows you. He knows that you adjust well in every situation, you’re pretty flexible with yourself most of the time. You adjust just good in new places, new apartments just like when you moved in together, adjust well with new people most of the time, if they’re good people. But this is something else, this is about your relationship, the shift in the air. And even though you feel attraction for each other, love deep and hard, he knows that you need to move at your pace. It was the same when you moved in, adjusting to the house itself and his presence was easy, the process of adjusting to the consequences of it a bit slower. All he can do is show you that he’s still going to be here, with his arms open wide for you and his caring eyes, just like it was before, proving that even though things changed, they really didn’t; there’s still coziness in the air, he’s still the same as before just like you. 

He showers, waits for you on the couch, makes sure that you have a bowl full of popcorns on the table and something to drink. When you come into the living room, his face lights up. You look ethereal, with your hair still a bit wet and your eyes full of sparks almost as if the shower you just had brought you back to life, even in your pyjamas you look like the most beautiful woman he ever laid his eyes on. 

«Do we have snacks?» you chime. He nods, points at the table. Your beam spurs him on, makes him feel like he just did the best thing ever. And he loves it, totally. His arms open beckoning you to him and when you launch yourself in them all he can do is laugh heartily and wrap them tightly around you. 

The night feels blissful with his arms around you, your limbs getting entangled the more time passes. You end up talking through the movie he picked, not really showing that much of interest even though it’s pretty eventful. The way he lets you lay on top of him makes you feel safe and cozy, your back against his chest and his back on the pillow of the sofa, one of his legs bent over yours and his arms keeping you warm. 

You end up falling asleep, wake up the day after in your bed, a note on your nightstand.

"You passed out from sleep last night, so I took you to bed. I didn’t know if you wanted to sleep in mine, so I figured it was better to take you to yours. I came in to say good morning but you were sleeping so cutely that I didn’t want to wake you. Aish, why are you so cute?- a laughter bursts out of your chest- I’m going to work, probably will be home around seven. I love you :D"

Good morning, you tell yourself. It’s going to be a beautiful day.

The week passes quickly, work hasn’t been too stressful beside for Monday and all you want to do tonight is come back home and just relax. At lunchtime you’re already wishing you could open the door of your house and just throw yourself on the couch with all your might, but apparently life doesn’t work that way. Your phone lights up, your father’s picture takes up all your screen and something inside you makes your senses tingle as if it was a fifth sense.

«Appa!» you call. His laughter fills up your ears.

«Oh, my baby! Are you eating well these days?» his Busan accent is thick, totally differing from yours now. It was hard to get rid of it when you came to Seoul, it was hard for Jungkook too. You smile widely, a feeling of melancholy invading your chest. 

«Yes! Actually too well, appa. I eat too much these days» you chuckle.

«How is eomma doing?»

Your father grunts: «Oh, she’s fine, always looking for something to fight me with! We argued five minutes ago but she’s singing in the kitchen as if nothing happened, I’m the only one upset» he rants.

«What went through my mind when I proposed? Aish, this woman»

His tone makes you laugh, the dynamics have always been like this in your family. Your mother is sweet, caring, but god, is she feisty. Your father is always been the calmer one, the rational one between them, saying sorry when it was needed and talking to her when she wouldn’t listen. Her personality is a lot to handle, but if you manage to find your way with her she will give you your world and even the things she doesn’t have. 

«Why did you fight?» you wonder. He huffs annoyed.

«Nothing big! I forgot the light on in the living room when I went to pee!» he laughs at the silly argument.

«She scolded me for fifteen minutes!»

«God, she’s something else» you chuckle.

Your father makes noises of agreement, hums at your words and laughs at the high note coming from the corner of the kitchen, your mother definitely isn’t a singer.

«Do you want to come for the weekend? It’s been so long since we spent some time together. I miss you» he sweetens his voice, trying to get into your heart, and here it is, what you sensed before. His invitation makes you smile and nod, even though you’re tired and craving for your couch from this morning. It’s been definitely more than three months since the last time you visited your hometown and your parents. It’s not that you don’t want to go, actually you find yourself being homesick from time to time. It’s just been pretty eventful, with everything that happened. With Jungkook, work being a pain in the ass as always. Plus, a four hours drive isn’t really that appealing, riding the train for that long neither when you know that you will be able to stay just for a little amount of time. You guess you could do that, since you really miss them and work hasn’t been that hectic this week. You have some energy to spare after having a good sleep, even for your mom’s questions. 

«Jungkook? How is he? He can come too! We can grill samgyeopsal» he exclaims excited. It’s nothing new, your father is crazy for him and your mom just shows an inch of sanity more, but it’s pretty much just the same, she hides it well. The last time that you visited together was almost eight months ago and every time you went afterwards they asked you why you didn’t bring him with you, so you guess that you could ask him.

«Oh, he’s good. He wouldn’t turn down samgyeopsal. Not in his right mind at least» you joke. 

«Ah, great! Your mom started preparing for kimjang, it’s fermenting so we’ll have kimchi too! Aigoo, I’m hungry. Yeobo!» he yells to your mother still with the phone on his ear, grimacing you part from it. 

«How much until we eat?» 

You hear your mother scolding your father and telling him to help her in the kitchen, calling him lazy ass. It makes you chuckle but silently, knowing that your father will act all lamentable.

«I’m talking to our daughter!» he yells back. 

You don’t really understand what’s happening, weird noises making their way though the microphone until your mom’s voice comes in the way.

«Aigoo, my baby! When are you coming to visit?»

«Eomma! Tomorrow I think, I’m going to call you again to let you know» you smile.

«Bring Jungkook!» she chimes. You roll your eyes.

«I’ll talk to him,» you answer «where is dad?»

«Oh, I kicked him in the ass. He has to get up and help me, he’s always sitting on the sofa» she wails.

«I will go cooking, but come tomorrow okay?» 

«Yes, eomma» you make sure to nod even though she can’t see you. She says her goodbyes and a second later the call is over, you already picture your dad’s face with a scowl as she looks at him with his phone in her hands. 

The air in Busan feels different, more fresh and fragrant, the pollution level is lower and the fine dust is less, so you breathe in and gladly take off your mask. Jungkook stands behind you with his still on his face and a beanie on his head, entirely dressed in black. His hair are getting longer and you can’t help but swoon over him a bit. 

When you told him your parents invited you home yesterday, his eyes lit up and he asked to come before you could even tell him they invited him, so it’s to no use to say that when you mentioned samgyeopsal all he did was fist the air and hum already licking his lips. Sometimes you wonder if he likes you more than meat, but you guess that he does, otherwise he would be running inside your parents’ house already at the smell coming out from the open windows.

«Aigoo, they started grilling already» he whines. 

«I told them we were about to arrive» you hum. His arm comes around your shoulder, the wide bag he brought hanging from the other side of his body. Jungkook feels happy. He loves your parents just the same as they love him, calls them mom and dad, receives their calls from time to time, when you still used to live in Busan and he would come to your place to hang out he used to have long talks with your dad and laugh about silly things. He feels joyful, ready to spend a good weekend and to enjoy the hometown that he missed so much. His family is in Japan at the moment so it’s crystal clear that your father will keep him occupied for the whole weekend, more than happy to do so. He wondered if he should be sleeping in his parent’s house yesterday but when you answered him no as if it was obvious he felt even more cheerful. You wouldn’t say that your parents are wealthy because they aren’t, but the house is big and has four bedrooms, the price was extremely low when they bought it, plus he used to sleep here practically two to three times a week when you were younger, you know that your parents don’t mind it at all. 

«My baby!» your dad’s face peeks out of the window and he yells from the kitchen with his eyes full of excitement. A bunch of seconds later he’s opening the front door and running towards you.

«Aigoo, my daughter is here!» 

«Appa, don’t scream!» you laugh as he engulfs you in one of his bear hugs. Jungkook lets go of his hold on you and watches the scene in front of him, a new wave of happiness invading his body. He bows politely to your father when he parts from you, the older man laughing at him and  wrapping his arms tightly around his figure. He stays there, with his face on his shoulder and his hand on his back, gladly taking his affection and hugging him back, eyes sparkly and cheeks full.

«I want a hug too!» your mother comes out, hair disheveled and a kitchen apron covering her cloths. She runs to you with all her speed, for a second you fear that she’ll stumble and fall over but her body is still strong and she’s still the baddest of the baddest. She pulls you to her and you feel at home, suddenly relaxed. She might be the most annoying person on the planet, but she’s the person that loves you more too. 

You guess that after you comes Jungkook, cause as soon as she hears his laughter she pats his shoulder and pulls him to her with you still in her arms, your dad having to let go of him, she squeezes the both of you and kisses both of your heads.

«Aigoo, I missed my babies so much» she wails. Jungkook snorts and let’s her do her thing, his eyes meeting yours as he smiles tenderly.

«How are your parents? Your mother called me yesterday, Japan must be fun!»

«Oh, they’re having fun» he giggles.

When you go in you don’t spend time in strolling around and place your bags in your room. The forniture is still the same, the space not that big but not small either, a poster of your favorite girl group when you were younger on the door of your wardrobe. Jungkook stops in front of the door with his bag hanging down from his hip, takes a look around with a dreamy smile on his lips.

«I missed here so much» he munches on the inside of his cheek.

«How are you feeling?» 

His hand reaches your shoulder, he squeezes it as he stands by your side.

«Good,» you hum «happy»

He doesn’t expect you to do anything, but when you wrap your arms around his waist and look at him from down his happiness reaches its peak and he finds himself spiraling.

«Are you?» 

Fuck, yes he is. A lot, a fucking lot. He missed his hometown, missed your parents, missed the warmth of the air, missed your memories together. To be here, when your relationship took such a turn makes him look back to everything, from the moment he met you and laid his eyes on you to where you are now, when you moved in together, when you used to spend your afternoons in your bedroom just because you wanted to hang out with each other, when you used to sing your hearts out to his favorite songs, every time you would end up staying up until three in the morning watching animations, all the crazy things you did together and the softest ones too. 

«Do you remember when I came in from the window cause your parents were sleeping?» he laughs already at the thought.

«You’re so dumb, woke ‘em up anyway» you shake your head.

«They even got mad. They said it looked like you were trying to rob the house»

«Your dad got mad. He probably thought we were going to sleep together» 

«It doesn’t make sense, you were here every day» you chuckle.

«They never let me sleep in your room at night» he mumbles smiley. 

«It would’ve happened anyway if that was the case» you squeeze his hip.

«Isn’t it?» he faces you with a cheeky grin.

«It wasn’t,» you shake your head and poke your tongue out at him «and we’re not just sleeping together»

«We aren’t,» he smiles more «you love me» he huffs with his eyes in a haze. The feeling you see in them it’s perfectly clear and it’s the same that makes you soften your stance.

«Tell me» he hums, voice velvety.

You seal your lips shut just to tease him and he thumps his foot on the floor, eyebrows furrowing and lips pushed forward in a pout. 

«Please?»

«I love you» 

«You- oh?» he really didn’t expect for you to give up so easily. 

«I do,» you smack his ass «now get your bags here» 

«Oh?» he doesn’t know if he should be teasing you for the way your hands still lingers on his ass or ask you what you’re talking about.

«Your bags,» you puff out «you left the other one in the car»

«Yes- yes, here like- here? In your room?» 

«If you want to?» you smile.

«Do I- like, sleep here? With you?» he asks.

This week you didn’t sleep together, he gave you the space you needed to get used to the new situation, you cuddled in his bed more than once, stayed on the couch until late, but you didn’t spend the night in his bed and neither did he in yours. 

«If you want it too» you mumble. He blinks, face empty. And then he beams, his bunny teeth showing and punching you right in the guts. 

«But- your parents» he murmurs. He doesn’t know if he should bring this up to remind you that you’re not home or if it would be better to just stay silent and play coy.

«They don’t need to know» you hug him tighter, cheek pressed to his hard chest and eyes on him, looking like the cutest being that ever walked on Earth. If looks could kill, god, this would be around one of his thousandths of lives.

«I want to sleep with you, for tonight» you plead.

Jungkook pucks his lips.

«I’ll get the bag» he peals, eyebrows up and jaw cocked up, looking satisfied and so endearingly exuberant.

Samgyeopsal is life, that’s one of the few things that both you and Jungkook agree on. Especially when it’s soft and almost melts in your mouth, still hot and accompanied by kimchi and wrapped in a leaf of lettuce. It makes the man beside you moan and close his eyes, pretty much the same as your reaction as you dip another piece into the sauce. 

«Are you feeding my daughter? She looks skinnier» your dad munches on his food, cheeks full and eyes on Jungkook. 

«Appa, I’m eating well, don’t worry» you shake your head.

«And I’m able to feed myself on my own»

The man snorts at your attitude, your mom nodding.

«I know, but it’s nice to know that there’s someone who takes care of you» 

Jungkook shifts in his seat, his smile stretching. 

«I take good care of her» he nods proudly. 

«We ate bibimbap yesterday» 

«I cooked that» you chip in, chopstick pointing at him. 

«I helped you,» he scoffs «and I make sure you have food when you come home later than me» 

«He does,» you nod «don’t worry» you look at your dad. The man gulps down, his eyes move from Jungkook’s to yours and he tilts his head slightly, a second later he’s eating again.

«Are you going out for dinner? Or do you want me to cook something in particular?» your mom butts in as she grabs another piece of meat and puts it in your dish.

«Oh, we don’t know yet,» you look at Jungkook «do you want to go out?»

«Do you?» he asks back.

«Not really»

«We can help her cook then» he tilts his head towards the woman sitting in front of you. She scoffs, grabbing the meat and wrapping it in the lettuce, her hand directed to Jungkook’s face. He stays still with his eyebrows cooked and his eyes a little bigger than usual, tongue between his teeth and lips closed.

«Open up» she orders. 

«Eomma!» you scold. The woman snorts through her teeth, the sound guttural and lamenting.

«I used to feed him when he was younger, can’t I do it now?»  she wails.

«Yah, you’re really something. Leave him alone!» your father lightly smacks her forearm and her eyes shoot bullets to his face.

«I-» Jungkook isn’t even able to start his sentence, your mom bickers back to your father.

«I’m just feeding him!» 

«Should I come in in a bit?» Jungkook whispers at your ear as you’re about to leave the living room. Your parents are happily playing cards on the carpet, no silly little squabble in sight until now, the air is light and the sky is dark. You guess that yes, it would be better, so you nod at him. He fights the urge to kiss your cheek, just smiles at you as you get up from the couch.

«I’m feeling sleepy, I think I’ll go to bed» you announce. Your mother hums at you, lifting her hand in the air in a muted request to wait as she chooses her next move with the cards. Your father looks at Jungkook.

«Do you want to play?» he asks. The man on the sofa declines quietly, a polite smile on his face. 

«I’m a bit tired too, actually» he clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. 

«I’ll pass for tonight. Tomorrow?»

Your mom puts her card down, your father’s face lights up as he throws his card on the table.

«I won!» he cheers as he laughs at your mother’s face. She snorts and let’s her head fall backwards, her mouth shut.

«I’m going to win tomorrow too, get ready Jungkook!» 

«We’ll see» he titters. 

«Eomma, I’m going» you remind her. The woman gets up with her face still annoyed by your dad’s victory, she stumbles on her legs as she’s been sitting on the ground for almost three hours now, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your cheek. Jungkook feels his chest swell up with happiness, the feeling bittersweet. The scene reminds him of your younger selves, your parents saying goodbye when you left for Seoul. 

«Sleep well» she chimes, patting you on your back. Your father comes too, gives you a peck on the crown of your head.

«See you tomorrow» he smiles. You wait for them to part from you before you make your way out of the living room, Jungkook’s eyes following you out of the corner. 

He waits for you to close the door of your bedroom, gets himself a glass of water, watches your parents start another round with their game, listens to your father’s story about that time that a taxi driver stole him 20,000 won. Then, he decides to stand up. 

«I’ll go too» he says. Your father nods, gets up again to pat his shoulder.

«I’ll kick your ass tomorrow» he promises. The bunny smile on Jungkook’s lips makes him pinch his cheek as he always did when he was younger, endeared by his cuteness even though he’s a full grown up man now, then goes back to his sit.

«Sleep well» your mom wishes. He nods and waves goodbye.

The path to your bedroom is silent, it only lasts a bunch of seconds but by the time he knocks at your door he’s all smiley and excited in a way that makes his heart flutter with peace and happiness. You tell him to come in, voice muffled. The handle lowers and his eyes peek into the dark room, the light on your nightstand the only thing keeping the ambience clear at least a bit, your lashes flutter from under the sheets and all he wants to do is throw himself into your bed and dive into your arms until tomorrow comes. 

«You’re sleepy for real?» he giggles. You watch him get closer and stand by the bed, he stares down at you and you reach your arms out to him. His smile is contagious, a harmonious laughter erupting from his chest as he kneels by the side of the bed, figure bent over to hide into the softness of the sheets and your arms around him. 

«I have to wash,» he keens «will you wait up? Don’t wanna sleep so soon when I’m in bed with you» he mumbles against you. You let out a content sigh.

«Go shower,» you smack his ass lightly «I’ll wait up. Be fast, please?» 

He pecks your lips quickly, his excitement throbbing out of every pore of his body. The gesture surprises you, your lips were far from his for the whole day even though you spent all the time together, so you feel a little love drunk.

«Thank you» 

He low-spiritedly parts from you, getting back on his feet and strolling out of your bedroom to go and take a shower.

When he comes back ten minutes later his hair are a little dump, his skin glowing by the nightlight and you find your breath getting stuck in your chest. You lift the sheets, invite him in without saying a word. Jungkook lays on his side, looks at you silently as if you were the most beautiful star painting the sky tonight. 

«How are you feeling?» he lowly asks. You dig your head deeper into your pillow.

«Good, I told you» you hum, getting closer to the warmth of his body. His heart sinks in his rib cage, arms hitching to hold you just as you wrap yours around his torso. Jungkook takes in the way you smell, how the perfume of your body wash is so sweet but not too strong, the way your hair seem to dance on your pillow cause the reflection of the light changes when he shifts to get closer to you. 

«I feel good too» he sighs happily.

«It feels so good to be here like this» his fingertips trace the curve of your hip, tickling your skin and making you shiver just the slightest. You hide your face in his chest.

«Did you miss it a lot?» you question.

«Sometimes,» he shrugs «we have a lot of memories here»

«We do,» you nod, look at him when one of them strikes through your mind «do you remember when you tried to prank me? You scared the shit out of me»

His laughter is so loud that you’re afraid he’s going to be heard by your parents, head falling back on the pillow and eyes shut.

«That was so funny. The face you made when you realised it was me, I-»

«I swear if you ever do that again I’m going to punch you» you shake your head, but the memory is sweet inside you. 

You were tired, worn out from your first days at your first job, sad cause you felt like you didn’t measure up. The dumbass decided to help you with your mood but apparently he and Jimin where too into it and didn’t think about the consequences of their actions. They came in before you thanks to your parents loving Jungkook way too much and waited for you in your bedroom with the lights off for almost thirty minutes. Jimin ended up falling asleep on the bed and Jungkook decided that it was funny enough to steal the gochujang from your kitchen and soul up Jimin’s shirt with it. When you came in Jungkook was sitting behind the door, a very Jungkook thing to do, and when you turned on the light you screamed so loud that your throat was sore the next day, scared to death of the red stain on your friend’s shirt. Jimin woke up, jumped on the bed, Jungkook reveling his presence only in that moment when his laughter was too much to contain. The moment in which you though you had a dead body on your bed transformed into arguing in a matter of seconds, and when you realised that Jimin wasn’t part of it you ended up getting mad at Jungkook, until you realised that he drew a penis on his forehead with the gochujang sauce. You have no freaking idea of how he did that, but somehow it was still there on his forehead and he didn’t know. 

«Some things work only once,» he laughs harder «Jimin’s face was so fucking hilarious the whole time»

«When he realised it got even worse» you can still picture it clearly, how he opened the camera of his phone and widened his eyes just to start laughing with you, his finger coming right up on his skin to get a taste of the sauce. Your Kook shakes his head, kisses your forehead.

«You pranked me too» he murmurs.

«My pranks weren’t that dreadful» 

«No, cause you preferred sticking notes to my ass» he snorts.

«I only did that once,» you raise your forefinger to his face to show him «and it was one note»

«I walked around the school with it» he whines. Citing what your sixteen years old version of you wrote; “I have a cute bum, now stop looking, thanks :D”. 

«I know baby, I’m sorry. It was so funny though» 

The warmth of his body makes you shrink into the mattress. Your eyes close while you dwell into it, the soft pads of his fingers stroking your back, his even breath, the sound of his voice when he speaks, the melody of your heart beating peacefully and steady. Jungkook notices the way your eyelashes flutter, the way you let yourself smile and hug him tighter. 

«Baby» he hums. Silence fills the air for a moment or so, you wait for him to speak but shift in his hold, face looking up at his. He’s smiling tenderly, a little dimple on his cheek accompanies his lopsided beam.

«How are you feeling? Like- I know that you’re happy, but I mean- how? With us?» 

The question makes you stare at him for a bit too much. Your thoughts intertwine and your lips crave for his to make sure that the answer is totally clear, but instead you squeeze him tighter.

«What do you mean?» 

Jungkook caresses your cheek as he speaks, his voice a bit raspy: «It can be hard- to fit into this… new thing? Like, getting to what we had before to this» 

«I’m doing fine,» you smile «sometimes it’s odd, not in a bad way though. It’s just, I feel overwhelmed and… it’s weird to get to have you in this way cause it wasn’t like this for all these years. But I love you» 

Kook munches on his lips, big doe eyes diving in yours as he takes in your answer, the roundness of his cheeks distracts you just for a second because you want to pinch them.

«I feel overwhelmed too,» he squeezes your side «you can’t get used to that» he beams again. It’s like he restores the light to the room, so bright and beautiful that the night sky looks like nothing compared, dazzling. 

«Please don’t get used to that,» his tone is pleading «it’s beautiful and I love it when you feel like that. Makes me feel so loved and I just want to wrap my arms around you and never let go»

Your heart throbs, and you think that you couldn’t even if you tried with all your might. It’s just him, his light, his night skies, his bunny teeth, his big shoulders, the way his skin feels on top of yours, how he has a hold on you that could never stop swivelling, his soul. It’s everything about him and nothing at all that makes you love him with every part of you and even though it’s new and sometimes you don’t know how to face it, it’s him and him and him only that you crave for deep at night, his arms around you and his cute lips when he speaks.

«I’m not trying to get used to that,» you hide your face into his neck, taking in the fragrance of his body wash and how sweet it is «I’m just- I’m getting used to being more, not your best friend» 

Your words make him  pout. He guides his fingers to you, raises your chin and his pupils stare deep into yours.

«You’re still my best friend» he mumbles.

«You will always be, but what we have now…» 

«I know» there’s no need for him to explain. 

«Of course I am. But there’s this too and sometimes I don’t know how to handle it»

Jungkook nods. He loves what you’re doing, how you’re communicating to him, the atmosphere of intimacy in the air. He lets go of you to prop up on his forearm, his hand supporting his face as he stares back down at your eyes, you let yourself lay on your back limp under his sight. His fingers caress the curve of your hip and Jungkook swears that not other woman in his entire lifetime as ever made him this weak, not just physically, emotionally too; so bare, so frail, so vulnerable and ready to take it all at the same time.

«Do you think that it’s going better?» he whispers, totally devoted. You shrink more into the mattress, his eyes feel like reassuring you more than looking for an answer.

«I think it is,» you nod «just slightly» 

He brushes his nose against yours, kissing the tip afterwards.

«Can I do something? Like- to help you?» he stumbles on his words. It’s weird cause a part of him just wishes you could let go and take all he has to give, everything and more and just bask in it, but he knows you. He knows that you have to find your new balance before taking it, he‘s aware that what will come after will be even more hard to handle, for him especially… cause once you’ll find your space he will lose his mind with how much every part of you belongs to him, how much of yourself you’ll give without taking back. It’s always been like this, it was the same even at the beginning of your friendship.

«No, just-» you lick your lips «just sleep with me tonight? I want you close» 

He can’t hold back from kissing your forehead, kiss the vulnerability in your voice away. His fist lifts the covers as he looks at you and smiles, a strand of hair comes in the way of his eyes.

«Come here» he whispers, moving his other hand to pull you closer from your hip. You take in a deep breath, dawdle in the feeling of his fingers as he wraps his arm around you like a few minutes ago, keeps you close until there’s no space left. 

He watches your side profile, admires the curve of your nose and the length of your lashes, the pillowy swell of your lips until he lets himself down on the cushion and his other arm comes around you too, his face in the crook of your neck and his breath on your skin. He hides from the world and just focuses on you, makes sure you feel how much he loves you, how much of him is yours. The soft pecks he lays on your neck make your lashes flutter and you push yourself more to his chest, your shoulder digging into his pecs slightly. He raises swiftly from the mattress, pecks your cheek.

«Open your arm?»

You do as he asks, stretching your arm out and waiting for him to lay down again, when he does you cup the back of his neck with it. Jungkook hums happily, decides to lay on your chest. Your breasts are the perfect pillow and the sound of your heartbeat the most beautiful lullaby, and when he hears it beat louder his smile grows even more. You like it, having him laying on you in this way. It’s sweet, caring, it makes you feel like you’re the one who’s giving love and protection to him, shelter from the world even though you both know that there’s not an ending part that isn’t receiving and giving. Your arm wraps around his back, Jungkook snuggles into you and kisses your clavicle, his leg comes over yours to intertwine them and his fingers caress your stomach as he closes his eyes.

It’s odd, how waking up next to him makes your mood shift from happy to helplessly in love to horny as hell. This man, fuck the things he does to you. You think that it’s not even possible to feel this attracted to someone, scientifically. And this time it’s not your period, hell no, you know it for sure. It’s just Jungkook and his fucking body and the way you love him so desperately. His tattoos coming out from the short sleeve of his shirt, the colours mixing with his skin to create the most breathtaking piece of art, the contrast with the other pale arm wrapped around you. At some point tonight he slipped it under your back and you feel sorry for him when he’s going to wake up because it will most probably be sore after having you on top of it for all this time. He’s still sleeping on your chest, snoring lightly from time to time with his lips coming out and the roundness of his cheeks overwhelming, squashed against you, his hair all over the place.

It’s just, you don’t know what it is, but opening your eyes to him first thing in the morning makes your fingers tingle to touch every inch of him. His broad shoulders make you salivate just at the sight. You shift slowly, trying your best to get out from under him without waking him up but his face is peacefully laying on your chest and of course, he would open his eyes at the movement. Jungkook groans and opens and closes his lips a few times, gulping down the saliva he stored in his mouth while sleeping, vision blurry as he moves and tries to take a look at you. Your eyes are already on him, the light in the room is still dim but he’s not used to it and it’s too bright for his sleepy body. All he can do is narrow his eyes, or close them almost, your face hazy but still so pretty. 

«What time is it?» he mumbles. His voice is low and raspy and somehow it makes you yearn even more.

You take a look at your phone by the nightstand. 

«Seven and ten» 

He whines and hides his face back on your chest, nose digging in the hill of your breast. You shift under him, his arms wrap tighter around you and suddenly your legs are opening and you’re pushing your hips against his thigh. Jungkook’s eyes open, puffy and still sleepy but definitely interested in your current mood.

«What was that?» he grins, first thing in the morning. You don’t know what’s gotten into you, your cheeks burn but all you really want to say is just, fuck it. Instead, you just look away. He scoffs and decides to level himself on his forearm by your side, squeezes your cheeks between his thumb and his fingers to gain your attention.

«Love» he calls. Your heart makes a somersault, your breath stops coming out. 

You whine under him for the hold he has on you with just a single word, his smile grows bigger. 

«What was that?» he asks again, voice soft and airy, a little amused.

«Nothing» you mumble. Jungkook shakes his head, he lays his face back on your body, this time in the crook of your neck. A sweet kiss, his breath on your skin, his eyelashes fluttering against you, his fingers squeezing your hip. 

«Good morning» he mumbles happy. 

«Fuck it,» you huff out «Kook, I’m-» it’s so embarrassing to say out loud «I’m feeling horny»

Jungkook breaks out in a giggle, so soft and cute that you want to hide from the world and listen to it forever, the contrast too deep with what you just revealed. He kisses your neck again but his lips are stretched and they don’t quite connect too well with your skin.

«Horny?» he echoes.

«Don’t make me say it again,» you whine «it’s so embarrassing»

«It’s not,» he sweetly caresses your hair «why?»

«It’s just… don’t know, I’m not used to tell you this type of stuff» he watches as you stare at the wall and try as best as you can not to look at him. He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, his thigh slowly moves back to where it was and when you feel the muscle slightly push against you you wish you could just combust.

«Get used to it,» he mutters with a big beam stretching on his face «cause I love hearing it» 

«It’s embarrassing» you mewl and cover your eyes with your hand. Jungkook shakes his head, lowers his lips to the side of your ear.

«It’s sexy,» he breathes «did I do that? Did I turn you on?» 

Just the thought makes his cock hard in his boxers. 

«You-» you gulp «yes» 

«Did I? What did I do?» he licks his lips, your hand moves away and your scoop the confidence to look at him just to find him gazing at you already.

«Nothing, just… you» you whisper cause you’re not sure that your voice is going to work right now. You see his shoulder swell as he breathes in deep, telling himself to just don’t lose his mind, the way you make him feel is just… fuck, there’s no word to describe it. 

«Just me?» he smiles, amused. Your little nod makes him clench his jaw. A second later, his lips kiss yours and it’s so fucking sweet and consuming and intimate, sexy at the same time that your body loses its hold on the world and your arms wrap around his neck. You whine on his mouth, his tongue slides inside and all you can do is surrender and let go, give up and let him consume every still working neuron in your brain.

«Do you… want to do something about it?» he hums. You can’t discern if he’s teasing you or if it’s your mind playing tricks on your embarrassment.

«Don’t tease me» you huff. He kisses your chin.

«I’m not. Not in a bad way at least,» he smiles «I’m just- the thought makes me hard» he breathes. You gulp down harshly at the information.

«Can I take care of you? Just- if you don’t want to-»

«Please, do it» your sigh cuts him off. Jungkook raises his eyebrows, stares at you to make sure that you really mean it. The last time you had sex was a week ago, at Taehyung’s house. You needed space to get used to this, even though you didn’t actually say it he understood it perfectly, and he just wants to make sure that you really mean what you’re saying.

«Are you sure?» he hums. You nod surely, squeeze his hip to make sure he understands.

«Really sure?»

«Sure, Jungkook» you dig your head into the pillow.

«Why?»

«It’s just- I want to make sure that you’re comfortable and don’t feel pressured or… I don’t know. I love you, just. Don’t wanna do something that might-»

«Love, yes. Kook, I want you to take care of me. Please? When I woke up, I don’t know… you where wrapped around me and all I could- all I craved for was your touch. I want this, please?» 

His eyes light up. Not because you just told him that you want him, but because you’re showing your vulnerability just for him, your needs, your yearning, your voice is needy and it’s for him to care for and to take care of, for him to respect and adore, worship. And he can’t wait to make you feel good, give you what you want and see you in your bare state. So he kisses you, another time. Deep and sweet, something that says I will take care of you no matter what.

And he does just that, his fingers caress every inch of your skin as they travel down your stomach, he admires the softness and the warmth of you, takes in the way you shiver for him when he reaches your hips, lays little kisses and pecks on every inch of you he manages to grasp, his hair tickle your skin and they make you shrink and shift under him, too excited to stay still. 

The covers get pulled down, he takes them with him as he takes his seat between your legs, bum on his calves and eyes back on your face. The smile he forges stops all your thoughts and suddenly you sit up and cup his cheeks in your hands and kiss him so deep that he moans in your mouth, needy and surprised at the same time.

«I know that I’m- I’m slow and it takes time. I’m sorry. I just- I love you so fucking much, I wanna do things right. In the right way. Wanna love you with every part of me and every second of the day, I just need to get used to the new version of us, but fuck, I love it» you rant against him. Jungkook feels drunk, he’s afraid he’s going to fall and fall and fall and never hit the ground cause for god’s sake, the way you love him kills him in such a sweet way that he never wants to experience the way it would feel without it, ever again. It’s addicting, the worst of drugs, the deepest of falls, the most saccharine of candies.

«Don’t say sorry,» he whispers and pecks your lips «I love you. I love you and I want you to feel comfortable in everything you do. I love having you like this, but it’s something that means more. It’s not just feeling horny,» he strokes your cheek lovingly. He hopes that all of his emotions are clear to your eyes as he cups your cheeks and brings you closer to his face again.

«It’s showing it to me. Opening up and knowing that I won’t judge and just stay with you. For whatever, baby. It’s us, like it’s always been. You can show me all of yourself and fuck, I’ll be worshipping every ridge, every fucking shade. Just, let me love you right»

You never felt so fucking entangled with someone. Never. But with Jungkook, your souls are entangled, your limbs, your minds, your fucking hearts, your scents, the way you breathe. Everything melts into the other, every part of his was made to be yours and it was the same for you, cause otherwise it wouldn’t make sense. The way you feel the safest you’ve ever been wouldn’t, the way his fingers tremble slightly before they reach the hem of your shirt to push it upwards, the sound of your maddening heart wouldn’t. It doesn’t beat like it would with your first crush, with the last guy you dated, when you take care of yourself on your own. It beats in a way that you feel it deep in your intestine, in your guts, in every place. It beats sweetly, like a melody, it beats like you’re losing yourself but know that even if you don’t have control over you, his soul is going to keep you protected, loved and cared for. 

«Lay down for me?» he whispers. You smile and watch him as you rest on the mattress, he lowers himself and lays down on his chest, his feet hanging out of the bed. 

Jungkook hums in front of your core, the shirt you’re wearing is pretty big and long so you didn’t wear the rest of your home made pyjama yesterday night. He hooks his fingers around the band of your panties and you raise your hips up to make it easier for him to remove the garment. He lets it caress your skin, takes it off slowly, without any pressure. His eyes take in every inch of your skin, his digits caress your thighs and your knees in a way that causes your chest to feel heavier as he lets your panties fall on the bed just beside you. When he goes back to your center, his mouth salivates. 

«So pretty,» he coos «I love your pussy» and a second later, he’s pushing his lips against your hole, his nose pushing on your clit. You moan out loud before you can do anything about it, his eyes close and you raise your fist to keep your mouth shut. Your parents shouldn’t hear this, at all. You’d die of embarrassment only at the thought. 

He gathers your wetness on his tongue, sucks it in his mouth as his hands come to wrap around your thighs, moans on your pussy lowly at the addicting taste. 

«So sweet» he mumbles on it. 

«Is- the door locked?» you question, you have to at least before you lose your sanity. Jungkook nods on your pussy, the movement makes his nose rub against you and you can’t help but squeeze your thighs around him, it makes him moan and slurp on your wetness even more.

«Locked it when I came in yesterday» he says, kissing your lips. 

«Relax for me,» he whispers softly «let me take care of you» 

Your hand urgently reaches his on your thigh, Jungkook smiles at you and holds it, your juices glossing his lips. 

«Tell me what you want?» 

You gulp down, it’s hard to even think straight when he looks at you from between your legs.

«Want your tongue,» you nod «please»

«Where do you want it?» the way he speaks as if he’s willing to give you anything renders you breathless.

«Inside» you breathe. He doesn’t let you ask for it twice. 

He sucks on your lips just in the right way, and a second later he’s dipping his tongue in your pussy, eyes on you as the muscle works his magic inside you. He curls it and gatherers your juices again, saves the sweetness for his hungry mouth, gulps some of it down and then enters your hole again. Your hand squeeze his, his finger rub tenderly the back of it to soothe you as he starts fucking his tongue in and out. The muscle wet, controlled, firm but soft. As he moves his face to help himself his nose rubs against your clit again and god, it’s so good. So sweet, so alluring that you can’t hold back from wrapping your legs around his neck. 

Jungkook loves it, loves you, loves your pussy so fucking much that he thinks he could come free hands just by licking it, tasting your juices on his tongue, having you like this. His cock is so fucking hard that it hurts, his balls are already tight and they make him grunt on you as he fucks you slowly, the pace always the same, the one that he knows you like. He’s too hungry for you, to feel you, to have you, to cherish and worship every part of you, every single one; every irregular breath, every shiver of pleasure. He wants it to be his, every part of you. He wants you to remember this and wants you to soak your panties with your wetness when the image of him sucking on your core flashes in your mind at work, when you’re laying in bed. He wants it all, wants you to fucking lose it and give yourself to him, wants you to trust him that much. 

«Fuck, baby-» he whimpers as he squeezes your thigh «wanna make you lose it. Want you to come so fucking hard» 

You shiver under him, the pleasure building up with the pressure on your clit makes you arch your back and dig your head in the pillow, your nerves are on fire. His tongue touches your walls perfectly, strokes them as it goes in and comes back out, the tip reaches deep inside you right where you need him and it’s ecstatic. You whimper and cover your eyes cause looking at him only makes you weaker, bite your lips to hold back any sound. And then for a second, Jungkook stops his ministrations. You don’t even have the strength to peek at him, your body limp on the bed beside from your legs still wrapped around him. 

His tongue leaves your center, his nose away from you, you whine at the loss of contact but stop when you hear him grunt, his back lifting with your legs. Your hand moves away, and when you look down and see him getting back on the mattress you get a glimpse of the head of his cock, head red and hungry, so fucking hard. He breathes in deeply and dives in back in your pussy, pressing himself on the mattress. A whimper leaves his mouth and fuck, you can’t hold it back. The thought of him rubbing himself against the mattress while he fucks his tongue inside you makes you crazy, the fact that he feels so needy that he couldn’t wait more, the way you make him so hard that drives him insane. 

«Gonna cum» you try to whisper, but you’re voice comes out in a whimper and Jungkook  roots his hips harder against the sheets.

«Cum for me? Want you to smother me with your juices,» he moans so sweet that your mind links his voice to the taste of cotton candy, so velvety and light «want your wetness all over my face, fuck- I love it, love your pussy so much. I’d do anything for it, for you baby»

His remarks bring you closer to the edge, the rush in your veins seems closer and closer to its peak, ready to fall down and hit you in the best and worst way possible. Your hand reaches his hair, you fist the strands and Jungkook pushes himself deeper into you, his jaw hurts for how much of his chin is glued to you  but he found care less, his breath keeps hitting your clit every time he parts just to dive in again. 

«Please» you plead. Jungkook keeps his eyes on you and all his eagerness quiets down for a second. The way you look makes his heart clench, the way you bite your lips and close your eyes, the colour of your cheeks flushed, how you squeeze your legs around him. Love is in every move he makes, it was until now too, fuck if it was, but stopping himself for a second or so, he feels like his heart is going to explode. Not only in a thrilling way, but for how much he loves you. For you and you only, for the soul under him and showing itself in its bare state, for you giving yourself to him completely. He kisses your core, decides that he wants to make it even better, give you more, make you feel more and better. His lips lock around your clit, it’s unexpected and all at once and suddenly you feel like you’re going to cry for the pleasure. His fingers push inside you, two of them hit your g-spot perfectly and he doesn’t take them out, just curls them inside you repeatedly, so good and breataking, his tongue flicks your clit up and down as he keeps sucking on it. He realises the pearl with a pop and opens his lips to lick stripe on it, just on the spot that makes you lose it, but his teeth graze it and suddenly you’re whimpering and shaking and fuck, you’re cuming under him, around him. His mind is full of you, you’re everywhere all at once and all he wants to do is fucking show you how much he loves you. Your legs wrap around him tighter and he strokes your hip to soothe you while you keep him tight to your pussy, body trembling.

He gulps down your wetness, cleans every drop and tastes your sweetness on his tongue, licks it clean until there’s nothing more for him, and even then his tongue comes inside you to get some more. He loves it, he’s fucking addicted to your sweetness, to your juices. Just the flavour makes his dick twitch and throb, balls too tight to hold back any longer. He knows he could cum just by having you like this, he just knows it.

«Koo» you call. He realises a deep breath on you, your thighs still shake around him for how sensitive you are.

«Let me help you» you coo. He licks his lips clean.

«I wanna-» he cuts himself off as he takes a deep breath, voice shaky «I wanna try something»

Your hand strokes his hair as you watch him speak, eyes glued to his face even though your mind is still hazy. He looks totally fucked out, almost as if the one who’s been on the receiving end until now, like you’re doing something to him that can’t be explained, take all of his energy and rush it to his cock, begging to be released. 

«What? What do you want?» you whisper. His cheeks colour of a reddish tint, eyes glittery looking away from your face, almost as if it’s too much to say out loud.

«Talk to me?»

Jungkook gives in as soon as your foot digs into his shoulder: «Wanna cum while tasting you on my tongue, I- just by tasting you» 

Shit. If that’s what your brain is assuming, oh god.

«You mean…»

«Hands free» he breathes, eyes back into yours. The words dig a hole into your skin and you swear that if your energy wasn’t so drained right now you’d make him do just that and ride his dick afterwards, give him more while he’s sensitive and whimpering until all he can do is cum and break out into his sweet mewls and sighs.  

«I can do that, I’m so close, baby. Just-»

«Do it,» you nod «do it for me?» 

He hopes that your parents are still sleeping or just busy cause he doesn’t think he can manage to keep his mouth shut. The way you look at him and take in every feature on his face makes him salivate. It’s sexy and it’s such a turn on to think that you make him this crazy that your wetness starts to pool your pussy again and you just want him  with his tongue covered in your juices again. Fuck, he wants it too. 

«Can I? For real?» 

You nod at him, free him of your legs just to sit up and raise his chin with your fingers. Jungkook stays there, with his chest on the mattress, ass naked and cock against the sheets, but the yearning he feels for your kiss in undeniable. 

«Why would I say no?» you smile.

«It’s sexy,» your lips brush against him as you speak «of course you can»

«It’s a bit embarrassing, actually» he scoffs.

«It isn’t,» you echo the words he said before to you «makes me crazy. The thought of me turning you on that much that you can- cum like that, fuck. It’s making me wet again» 

«Yeah?» he hums on your lips, looking for recognition. 

«Yes,» you peck him sweetly «yes, love. Don’t feel embarrassed. I would love it»

Damn, he loves you. He loves you. He just- he can’t even form a proper sentence, he just loves you. 

«Do it» you smile and all he can do is hiss through his teeth. He watches as you lay down again, your pussy pink and your wetness dripping to your asshole. Fuck, he can do that, he definitely can. His cock is hurting just at the sight. 

«Raise your hips a bit?» you ask. He nods as he shifts on the bed, weighting down on his knees and getting back down on you with his cock standing against his abdomen. Like this, there’s nothing that’s willing to provide him of some pressure, nothing to help himself with, and somehow it makes his cock throb even more cause he knows that you want him to cum just from you. You’re desperate for him as much as he is for you.

He breathes in loudly, closes his eyes as he tastes you again, tongue licking from your asshole to your cunt and sucking on the path where your juices dripped on. The taste is saccharine, the texture creamy, honey like. His cock throbs, twitches as he slurps them and wets his chin, your hands coming back on his hair only make him dip his tongue deep inside you. You’re too sensitive to let the pleasure take over you, but still you don’t move an inch. Jungkook moans and drinks down your juices, totally pussy drunk and in love with you. He feels his cock burn from how much blood is rushing to it, his skin sweating, his balls tightening so much that it makes him lose his mind and stand on the edge, helpless and needy to let go but too restricted by not really knowing how to. Until you push your hips to his face. You push your sweet fucking little pussy on his face and his cock just jerks, his balls suddenly loosen and he thanks the gods in his mind that his mouth his glued against you cause if it wasn’t for it, the noises he makes would probably wake up your neighbours and definitely your parents. His cum bursts out in more spurts, so harshly and so fucking much that he feels himself drained and all he can do is hide deeper into your core until it’s hard for him to breathe too, with his nose pushing against you and his high overpowering every part of him. The sheets get wet, his chest too, your asshole gets painted by a few drops and his heart flutters as he enters a world made of bliss and release, feeling your fingers on his cheeks and then on his neck, caressing it sweetly and reassuring him as he whimpers. 

He stays like that for a bunch of seconds, feels his cock throb and lingers in the afterglow of his orgasm, until all he craves for is your arms wrapped around him and your whispers in his ears. He digs his hands on the mattress, lifts himself up with a groan  and parts his face from your core, laying down on top of you as best as he can for the way he’s feeling now. You welcome him lovingly, your arms wrap around his bust and you stroke his hair as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck and gathers back his even breath, his heart pounds against your chest and it’s so overwhelming to have him in this state that you just shower him with all you can give. All the love you have, all the affirmations he needs to hear, all the thoughts that pass through your mind. You tell him how much you love him, how much you love when he lets go of himself like this, how you love to see him in this way, how he makes your heart flutter, what you’d be down to give just to make him smile. Jungkook whimpers when you stroke his back and kiss behind his ear, totally limp on your body. 

«I- I don’t wanna be- don’t wanna live without you» it’s a spur of the moment, but he feels his words rooted deep inside him, written clearly and with bold capital letters. Your heart gets squeezed in the same way that you squeeze him in your arms.

«Don’t wanna» he mumbles childishly. 

«Why are you saying that?» you coo sweetly.

«Just. Just to say it, I feel it» his words are muffled. He hides furthermore into you, arms wrapping around you and passing between your back and the mattress.

«Sometimes I think about it. Just the thought- don’t want it to ever happen» he wails.

«I’m here with you, baby» you kiss his neck, take in the warmth of his skin on your lips.

«I’ve got you. Always»

Going back home means getting back to waking up early and to rush not to be late, to spin around all day when you wish you were still laying in bed doing nothing. This Monday was extremely frustrating especially, after getting a taste of relaxing all day yesterday, coming back to work was hell. You spent your day strolling around a park with Jungkook and your parents, had lunch out in a restaurant, went shopping a little even. You came back to Seoul after dinner and when you arrived it was already late, you fell asleep like a baby and slept all night in your bed. Jungkook cuddled you until you fell asleep and then went back to his bed, not really sure about what you wanted cause you were too tired to even talk about it. When you woke up you felt a little disappointed to not feel him wrapped around you but you didn’t have the time to tell him cause you were already late for work since you didn’t wake up on time. You’re tired and sleepy and all you want to do is go back to your apartment, eat dinner and sleep.

«It’s tomorrow» Yoongi smiles. He and Taehyung came to visit you unexpectedly, but you don’t mind it at all. It’s almost time to go home anyway and your work hasn’t been too much today.

«Of course I’ll come!» you clap your hands excitedly. Hyunjoo and him decided to celebrate their pregnancy officially at Jin’s restaurant, you would never think about turning down their invitation.

«Jin will cook» Taehyung nods as he wraps his arm around your shoulder.

«He said he’ll make something really good»

«Yah, can’t you talk about something else? That’s not what’s important now» you scold him. Your friend raises his chin and lowers his bottom lip, a habit of him that you always found endearing and cute. You squeeze his cheek.

«Of course what’s important is the baby,» he nods «but I’m looking forward to dinner too» 

Yoongi shakes his head as he scoffs: «The restaurant will be all for us, he’ll close it for tomorrow night»

«Ah, that makes me hungrier» Taehyung rubs his belly and you push him slightly as you laugh at him. His grip on you grows as he tries not to lose his balance, chuckling loudly. 

«Will you be-»

Someone knocks on your door and you cut off your words. Yoongi goes to open it, peeks out from the wood, you expect him to bow politely at whoever it is but a second later he’s opening his arms wide and Jungkook appears in all his beautiful aura. You raise your eyebrows, you were not expecting him here at all, this morning you took your car, he didn’t need to come here to give you a ride.

«Jungkookah!» Taehyung calls out. He leaves your side to hug his younger friend, Jungkook’s eyes meet yours as he lays his head on his shoulder, definitely not understanding what’s happening in your studio. 

«Why are you here?» he asks. Yoongi hits his back lightly.

«Can’t we visit her? Why are you here?» he chuckles. Jungkook shakes his head as he parts from Taehyung.

«I came to visit too» he mumbles. He finished work earlier than usual today and he wasn’t in the mood to go back home and wait for you there, so he thought that he could’ve just stopped by and wait for you to finish, steal a kiss or two and stay silent while you worked. Apparently, that’s not going to happen. 

«You’re something else,» Yoongi laughs «you were complaining all day about work but now that you’ve finished you’re here»

Jungkook’s cheeks color of a red shade as he looks at you. He talked to Yoongi a lot today, more then usual through texts at least, and here he is revealing them all. Not that he minds, after all there’s nothing wrong in it.

«Didn’t wanna go home yet,» he chuckles «thought I could stay here while you were working but apparently there’s a party I didn’t know about» 

You scoff at his words, Taehyung gets back to your side and rubs your hair in the same way you would with a pet or a child, his ministrations make you whine as you try to stop him and laugh at the same time.

«Yah, why don’t you make me do that?» he scolds.

«I asked you sometime ago but you told me I couldn’t. Jungkook can?»

You step on his foot to make him stop messing up your hair, he opens his mouth wide at the sudden burst of anger but laughs even harder.

«He didn’t ask me» you explain. Jungkook shakes his head at the side, slightly giggling.

«Cause you make me do it sometimes» he chirps in. Taehyung closes his fists and finally stops teasing you, eyebrows furrowed and lips contracted in a scowl.

«You’re the worst! How can you do this to me?» he slightly raises his voice.

«Yah, she’s working! Stop that!» Yoongi tries to look as stern as he can but his voice breaks out in a giggle too. 

«Next time I ask you you should tell me to come» your friend pats your shoulder. 

«Since we’re here, why don’t we eat together?» he goes. Your eyes widen at the request and Taehyung pouts at your reaction.

«Hyunjoo is waiting for me» Yoongi declines, eyes on Jungkook.

«Sorry hyung, but not tonight» he mumbles with a grimace. Taehyung squeezes you to his side.

«Please?» he begs with his voice all soft and pouty. You roll your eyes, he knows well how to get to you with all the years of friendship behind you. Still, you know his ways too.

«Not tonight, Tae. I’m tired. We’ll be together tomorrow»

«But tomorrow we’re all together!» he whines.

«Something chill and calm, when we’re together it’s always chaotic»

«That’s because you’re one of those who makes it chaotic» Jungkook laughs.

«Please?» he goes on, giving a sneaky glance to his younger friend. You look at Jungkook, Taehyung squeezes you so tight that you almost feel suffocated.

«These two are the worst. Let’s do it us two. Let’s go eat sushi, it’s on me» 

Taehyung is like this. Physical and endearing, your relationship has always been on the soft side, more clingy to what it’s like with the others. You’re used to it and it’s like this for you too but one of the peaks about it is that you can never say no to him, not when he pouts and asks so nicely, because you find him just so cute and adorable and you love him a lot. It’s been a while since you spent time together too, so you know that he misses you a bit, he told you about it when he texted you at lunch. You weren’t expecting to see him with Yoongi at all when he opened the door before, weren’t expecting Yoongi either.

«I hate you» you mumble. He jumps on his feet, already knowing what your answer means, Jungkook sighs deeply and lets his head fall backwards. He wishes he could tell you that he wanted to take you home and cuddle you until you felt asleep tonight too, but he knows he can’t in front of them. So all there’s left to do is let go and shut his eyes close.

«I’ll come too» he groans.

«Yah, look at him. You’re really something else» Taehyung grins.

«Let’s go»

You ate sushi. Taehyung really missed spending time with you, when you’re together by yourselves it’s different then when people are around, more calm. He missed talking to you a lot, especially since in the last months you’ve been seeing each other twice or thrice a week but every time there’s always everyone else too, so getting to spend tonight just eating peacefully and talking to his friends feels relaxing. Beside for the fact that Jungkook had a scowl on his face for the last twenty minutes.

«What’s wrong with you?» he asks as he sips from his beer. Jungkook frowns.

«What?» he echoes. 

«You’re annoyed by something» his friend points at him. You look at the man in front of you, his eyes shift to yours immediately. 

«I’m not annoyed by anything» 

«It doesn’t seem like it» you mumble. 

Jungkook shrugs.

«I’m just tired, can’t we go home?»

«Now?» Taehyung raises his eyebrows at his friend, Jungkook munches on his lips and relaxes his shoulders.

«I’m tired» he mumbles. In fact, he doesn’t look full of energy, but not as tired as he says you guess. 

«You’re getting old» Tae points at his face. 

«Too bad for you, you’re older than me» he grins. A second later your friend scoffs at his attitude and throws his arm around you.

«What do you like about him? Why are you two best friends?» he teases. Jungkook crosses his arms on the table, he stares deep into his soul with a smirk as he waits for your answer.

«You’re friends with him too, you know» you snort.

«And sometimes I ask myself the same question»

«Oh, please» Kook shakes his head. He knows that you’re both teasing him but he hoped you would cut the chase. He wishes he could just tell Taehyung the rest of the story.

«You’re annoying,» your friend raises his forefinger «touchy,» he lifts his middle finger «too noisy,»

«You are too»

«I didn’t finish;» he narrows his eyes at him.

«I’m not touchy,» Jungkook looks at you with his pupils pleading «I’m not, am I?»

You raise your eyebrows: «A little?»

He blinks outraged, face blank and eyes wide.

«Why are you taking his side? You should be with me!» he whines. 

«I love Taehyung too much» you shrug and giggle while he scoffs at the scene. Really outraged. Tae messes up your hair for the nth time today while trying to softly caress them as he would do with a puppy, making you slap his hand away. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s just to see him breathe in deeply through his nostrils, eyes staring at you as you laugh.

«What?-» Taehyung cuts your upcoming question off.

«And you talk to yourself a lot» he adds another finger. 

Jungkook sneers at the last one, he kicks him with his foot from under the table. The man wails and bends over, hands hiding under the wood to cover the injured part.

«And did I say touchy?» he keens, receiving a death stare from the other one.

«Why? It’s true!»

«Yah, stop» you shake your head at the two, patting Taehyung’s shoulder.

«Did he really hurt you?» you try not to laugh but the whole situation just makes you want to giggle out loud. Still, you keep it silent.

«He works out too much» Taehyung blubbers, bringing his head on the table to cry silently.

«Come on, it wasn’t even a kick. You’re getting old» Jungkook huffs, but a second later his face goes from annoyed to actually worried, eyes clear and lips pouty.

«Hyung, did I hurt you for real?» he cock his eyebrows and you can see the way he munches on the inside of his cheek nervously. Taehyung sighs deeply, raising his middle finger in the air. 

«Not really» he laughs. The younger lets go of a restrained breath, his shoulders fall as relief washes over him.

«You’re the worst» he mewls. Silence fills the air until Taehyung breaks out in a chuckle, you two following. Jungkook’s cheekbones are high and he wrinkles his nose as he laughs. 

«Can we go for real?» he mumbles.

«Yah!»

There’s something bothering Jungkook that both you and him can’t quite grasp. It’s feeble and velvety but his mood is slightly off and the fact that he doesn’t know what’s making it like this is even worse. What he notices though, is that it started when he came into your office yesterday and it’s been going on until now. It’s making him huff at his desk as he tries to concentrate on the contract in front of him. He read the paper again and again until he decided that it would be better if he took a break cause his brain isn’t really listening now. He takes out his phone out, scrolls through his contacts to call Yoongi and ask him about the time you’re going to meet tonight, but a second later his phone rings and your name comes up on the screen. He clicks on the green button without even thinking about it.

«Koo» you call. He smiles at your tone, fixing his position on the chair.

«Yes?» he mumbles.

«You don’t need to come pick me up tonight» 

He narrows his eyes and pouts his lips, not really understanding. This morning he gave you a ride and took you to work, you woke up late and apparently he woke up too soon and wasn’t feeling sleepy anymore, so with the excuse of that and the thought of not seeing you for the whole day he gladly and not so easily convinced you to get into his car. He doesn’t get why now you’re telling-

«Taehyung told me he’ll pick me up,» you explain «is it okay for you?»

He wrinkles his nose, eyes staring at the wall in front of him. He knows that you’re asking because last time this happened he said that he wanted to spend some time with you together before meeting the others.

«Of course» he nods.

«What time are we meeting?»

«Aish, you never check the group chat,» you scold «Yoongi sent a message this morning, it’s at seven» 

«Too many messages,» he shakes his head

«guess I’ll see you then?»

«Of course» you smile. He’s about to close the call when he hears you call him again.

«Koo?»

He hums in response.

«Is something wrong?» you question, voice sweet. He shrugs, fills his cheeks with air just to pass it from one to the other for a few times, letting it out through his lips with a sigh.

«I don’t know,» he murmurs «I’m feeling a bit annoyed but I don’t know what it is» 

You nod on the phone, putting him on speaker to lay your head on the desk.

«Does it have to do with the ride?» 

«No, it’s not that» he shakes his head no.

«I really don’t know»

«Talk to me if there’s anything wrong,» you mumble «I’ll listen»

«I know» he beams. Hearing you say that makes him feel a bit lighter.

«I love you» your voice comes out low from the microphone and it makes him lick his lips as he smiles, reassured.

«I love you too»

Jungkook is already there when you enter the restaurant, standing by Namjoon that laughs at what Jin just said he shakes his head and throws his head back. He smiles at Joon and pats his back as he responds to Jin, Hana coming by his side to kiss his cheek just for the sake of it. He lays his hand on her hip, smiles back at her before going back to their conversation. Jungkook’s eyes instantly lay on his hand that stays still around her, his mind filling up with your face and how he wishes he could just do the same naturally, without thinking too much about it. Just a second later, he hears your voice from behind him and he spins on his heels almost hitting Namjoon in his ministrations. Fucking hell, you’re breathtaking.

Yoongi did say to dress good but not totally elegant, but this, shit this is art for the eyes. You look stunning, totally gorgeous and he thinks he’s probably drooling by now. 

You hug Yoongi and Hyunjoo, he hears you tell her how beautiful she looks, you caress her bumpy belly sweetly, but fuck he doesn’t think you realise how good you look. And to think that this morning you were running all over the place saying that you were going to change your clothes at work and that you didn’t know what you got from your wardrobe cause you were running late. 

«Jungkookah,» Namjoon pushes him with his elbow slightly «you’re giving your game away. Shut your mouth at least» 

He gulps, fixes his posture. Fuck, he wishes he could tell him that you already know, there’s no point in denying it. 

«She’s so…»

«I know,» Joon pats his shoulder «but she’s still your best friend so you should go greet her, maybe?»

His words don’t seem venomous at the beginning, he just nods to himself and strolls towards you. Taehyung is by your side and greeting the others with a big boxy smile on his face, he does the same with the maknae and decides to walk over to Namjoon a second later. Jungkook wraps his arm around your shoulder as he would do usually, squeezes you to his side until you have to pinch his nipple to let you out of his grasp. The scowl that follows on his face doesn’t go unnoticed even by Jin and Namjoon that are standing a few meters away.

«You hurt me» he keens.

«Oh, come on, I didn’t» you scoff. The light makes your skin glow, it takes his breath away. It doesn’t matter for how many years this has been going on, his heart sings always the same melody and the tempo goes by quicker when you look at him and smile.

«When did you arrive?»

«Oh, five minutes ago» he shrugs. You nod, look at the others.

«Eunji?»

«She’s on her way with Jimin» 

Taehyung comes back to you, hooks is arm around yours and beckons you to do the same with Jungkook’s before walking towards the table to make you sit between them, he almost looks like he came out of a vintage movie with his beige wide leg pants and the satisfied smile on his lips. 

The others arrive in a bunch of minutes, Eunji and Jimin with some bags hanging by his arm, Hoseok just a few moments later dressed in colourful clothes and a beanie that probably costs more than what you and Jungkook pay for your monthly rent. 

With the table full, Jin announces the beginning of the dinner and the usual chaotic atmosphere begins, everyone talking and remembering things that make you laugh and nod every ten seconds. Jungkook notices the way you look at him from time to time, just like you always do when there are people around you. He sees how when you talk about something your eyes meet his first, how you punch his shoulder lightly when he moans too loud cause his beer is just too good.

«You did that on purpose!» Yoongi laughs.

«I didn’t! She came out of nowhere!» Hoseok points at Hana that keeps laughing uncontrollably. 

«I told you I was coming with the cake!» she can’t even speak from how much she’s laughing.

«She did» you nod as you giggle.

«Did you have to come in that moment?» Hoseok takes a sip from his drink.

«Yes, it was the moment of the cake, you were the one in the way!» 

«Aish, unbelievable» Jin shakes his head.

«You’re trying to blame us when you were the one with his mind elsewhere» 

«I didn’t do it on purp-»

«Oh, you did» Yoongi’s shoulders lift repeatedly as his chest shakes.

«I’m betting everything you have that you did it on purpose cause we had a fight ten minutes before»

Jungkook bursts out laughing: «Yah, why would you bet everything he has?» 

You cackle beside him, your head falling backwards.

«Cause he has more than me! Have you see his beanie?» the older points at Hoseok’s head.

«It’s a gift, dummy» he clicks his tongue on his palate «and I’m telling you I didn’t!»

The memory is one of those that make you titter when you think about it. It was Yoongi’s birthday and Jin gladly made his cake with so much affection, you remember that he spent the whole day working on it, it was so pretty and you could already feel it melt in your mouth. You were excited to try it cause you knew that he made it based on Yoongi’s likes that in terms of cakes are pretty similar to yours, however, you never got the chance to taste it. Hana was helping him in the kitchen and you swear you heard her say that she was going to come out with the cake but-

«Aish, you literally hit it just at the right spot to make me dig my face in it!»

That’s what happened. Hoseok turned around just as Hana was coming out of the door and he hit it with his elbow as he was turning, Yoongi was right behind him and Hana just a few centimetres away trying to pass through. The cake went upwards and Yoongi couldn’t even blink twice that he had it all over his face, face deep into the cream. 

«Yah, hajima-» Jimin is on the verge of tears «I can’t see when I laugh»

«You’re so dumb» Eunji hits his shoulder.

«What, what? I really can’t see!»

The waiters bring the food to the table, Jin slaps the ass of one of them as he puts the dishes in front of him and it makes Jimin laugh harder as the poor guy scoffs at him. He talked a lot about one of the waiters especially, said that he had a lot of potential and was a really good person, so you guess it’s him. 

A dish full of kkaennip jangajji gets placed in front of you, rice as banchan on the side, chopsticks shining. 

«I was craving this yesterday!» Hyunjoo wheezes at the sight, eyes wide as she dives down on her plate and smells it with all her might. Hana and you giggle at your friend, Eunji smiling happily at her. It’s so good to see her happy with such a little thing, sometimes she texts the girl group chat deep at night craving for things that make you wince; just four days ago she was craving for a combination that- ew, pancakes and ketchup.

Jin pats Yoongi’s shoulder.

«Yoongi made me cook it appositely» 

You don’t expect her to lift her head with that look on her face, but she does. Her eyes water and the corners of her lips lower at the look of the future father of her child.

«I love you» she sniffs, making Yoongi burst out in a laugh.

«I know, I love you too sweetie» he rubs her back lovingly «now eat, will you?»

Hoseok’s eyes are big just at the scene in front of him, totally taken aback by the sweetness between the two. Jungkook feels his inside burn as he stares down at his plate, fingers tingling just to touch you in any way possible, even a brush of his fingers on your shoulder would be enough. He wishes he could just show you the same as Yoongi does with Hyunjoo. You only smile at the two, not really noticing the way his eyes peek at you.

«Okay, I’m hungry» Jimin is the first to dig down into his meal, chopsticks grabbing the perilla leaf from his plate to wrap it around the rice. 

The table fills with giggles and snorts once more, the atmosphere is light and cozy. Your friends make it easy for you to love them, every single one. Of course they have their moments - like that time that you fought with Taehyung cause he called you four times in an hour while you were at work, or the other when Hoseok and you fought over a pen -, you have them too, but they’re like a second family, you wouldn’t want it in any other way. Your eyes meet Jungkook at the thought, almost as if he’s the bright sun behind the clouds, and you feel it rooted deep inside you, how much he means. His mouth his full, cheeks swollen as he munches on the rice but when he feels your eyes on him he turns around immediately. Even when he look like a squirrel full of almonds, you-

«Shibal, why are they like this?» Taehyung huffs loudly beside you. Your attention shifts to him, he has a big scowl on his face and he stares angrily at the perilla leaves in front of him, chopsticks trying as much as they can to separate one from the other. You scoff at him, shake your head.

Jungkook still has his eyes on you, he watches as you bring your chopsticks to the dish to grab the corner of the leaf and slide one of the sticks under it. You slowly move it from side to side to make it part from the other underneath, his eyes wide and his cheeks full like a mochi he stares as you bring it to Taehyung’s dish and place it on his rice.

Only then he gulps: «Yah!» 

Your shoulder raise frightened, head turning immediately with your heart in your throat. You see his mouth open, eyes big and eyebrows cocked in a shocked expression, Namjoon’s words echo in his ears. Now, they definitely feel venomous. 

You’re still his best friend.

«Wha- what? What happened?» you quiver.

Taehyung peeks over your shoulder, eyes glued to Jungkook’s face. Jimin and Eunji in front of you stare at the scene with their knowing expressions but they clearly don’t understand what’s happening cause no one knows the full version of the story. And Jungkook suddenly feels his stomach close up and his breath getting stuck as he looks at you.

«You- why… I can’t do this,» he shakes his head and brings his hands to his lap «I’m going out for a minute» 

His chair chimes strident as he slides it backwards, and a second later he’s walking towards the door of the restaurant with his hands by his sides and everyone looking at him. You don’t seem to remember how to breathe for a bunch of seconds. 

What happened? What-

«Oh, fuck» Jimin brings his hands on his hair, tugging at them nervously. Eunji gulps down her food, eyes on the empty spot beside you, Taehyung looks over at the door, Namjoon breathes in nervously and Jin and Hana look each other with eyes that seem to communicate words that you don’t grasp simply because you aren’t looking anywhere but at Jungkook’s dish, his chopsticks laid on the brims. 

Yoongi clears his throat, looks over at her girlfriend, Hoseok peeks at you and a second later you’re storming out of the restaurant with their eyes on you and yours already trying to see Jungkook from the glass of the door.

When it shuts behind you, Namjoon licks his lips and smiles.

«Finally, it had to happen» he nods light hearted, Yoongi scoffing as he tries to get a look of you two outside.

«Yah, give them some privacy» Taehyung scolds his hyung, Hoseok shaking his head at the group.

You can read the second part here: Closer: Too Close

Read more about Closer here: Closer

Taglist: @p-i-e-d-p-i-p-e-r, @kaitlynlovesbm, @bytheinaya, @jub-jub, @taolucha, @mianyas1998, @seoulrenebae-blog, @ppeachyttae, @gluk97, @jk97bam, @diorh0seokie, @gwsjungkookie, @moonlikemeh, @skzthinker, @jungkookieeee97, @eysloveskoosomuch, @sleepy-sae, @jjkw-7, @singularityjes, @spookybirstarfish, @vvicadiction, @kimchijeonjk, @suciedad-divina, @katarinamae

[faeryarchives]

Love for a Lifetime

The fate of a fae and mortal falling in love with each other is cruel yet so beautiful - being shackled by the fear of losing his beloved in the battle against time, Malleus have never experience such great fear in his life.

After a long day of school and running around to assist your friends, you find yourself in the comfort of your beloved at your usual hangout place - the garden behind Ramshackle Dorm that you both come to love.

"How did your day go, darling? You seem to be a little worried but happy at the same time."

"Oh Malleus, you wouldn't believe what happened earlier! So get this, during alchemy class..." Laying on his lap, you began to narrate the events that happened prior to your meeting. Being occupied with sharing your experience, you didn't notice how Malleus seem to space out while massaging your palm with his fingers.

It just feel so surreal, with you lying in his lap, being to talk to you and hold you in a loving way. A small smile appeared on his face as he realize one thing.

So this is what love feels like... A feeling that would once bring a forgotten memory back to life.

"Lilia, how would you define love?"

"Love comes in no form - it will just happen naturally and even if you try running away from it, you will find yourself drawn to it in the end."

"Even if they are of different species? Wouldn't that have such great risks?"

"Hmmm, it is quite complicated to explain it at your age but you will know the answer to your own question in the future."

Memory from the past, never he once imagine that such a silly question can cause him many question shaking him deep to the core. What if there was an instance where he couldn't protect you? What if it's a battle against time?

What if you suddenly left without saying goodbye?

As several more thoughts suddenly rush to his head, you can feel his grip on you tightening until it hurts.

"Malleus?"

"..."

"Mal? Your grip is starting to hurt me..." You tried getting out of his grip, but it only lead to him tightening his grip even more causing you to let out a cry of pain - Malleus finally snapped out of his thoughts and immediately loosen his hold on you. "I am so sorry love are you okay? Did it hurt?"

You sneak a peek on your arm where one can see some redish mark but you shook your head and instead hold his face making him look you in the eyes.

"Malleus what is bothering you? You can tell me everything, you know that right?" At first, he start avoiding your stare, but seeing how persistent you are - Malleus let out a deep sigh before leaning his head onto your shoulder and you can feel him shake in your hold.

"What made you choose me out of all people?"

"... huh? I don't know where you are getting at." You whispered while patting his back trying to ease his feelings.

"You can choose a mortal so you two can grow old together... Why choose a fae like me?" His eyes finally met yours, full of sadness and fear. "What if you will just end up getting hurt? Will it be worth everything?" He closed his eyes - afraid seeing your reaction as he tried to shake it off and change the topic.

"Neverm-" He was caught off guard when he turn around only for you to give him a kiss on the lips. Malleus stood there frozen, while you slowly pulled away blushing up to the tips of your ears.

"So what if we are different from each other?!" You exclaimed as he could see your tears threatening to escape your eyes. "It should be me-" your voice cracked at the end as your tears start flowing down your face.

"Why settle for me when I can only live such a fleeting moment of your life?" You put a hand on his cheek and tried to wipe the tears that he shed without him realizing it.

"Malleus, I choose you and I always will. It maybe selfish for me to spend my whole life with you but me without in your whole life after I am gone."

"...!" Malleus pulled you close to him whispering 'thank you' and 'i am sorry' all over again, you can feel your shoulder getting wet from his tears but you didn't care and he didn't stop letting it all out.

'So this is what Lilia was talking about on how love really feels like despite all the risk... It feels so warm'

"I love you, my beloved."

"I love you too Malleus. I love you very much."

yay new banner for everyone !! i need to spread pain because my phone fell into the water now i cant use it 👹 and this is inspired from millie and luca's interaction on twitter <3

[oldiesstationlover11607]

i NEED a Torchbearer fic where he starts to catch feelings for the newest member of the Bandito’s, and his little stoic and mysterious personality starts to completely melt the second they’re around. Very fluffy with maybe a kiss or two at the end 🤭🤭

I LOVEEEEEEE your fics, plz never stop uploading 😔🙏🏻

Stoic - Torchbearer!Josh x Bandito!Reader

Warnings: Nothing much lmao

Word count: 2590 (no idea how this ended up this long lmao)

A/N: Honestly it feels so good to be writing top fics again! Especially after having a wee break and feeling kind of creatively drained :)

The Torchbearer was a man of very few words. I knew that the moment I met him, the very second I arrived at the bandito camp. He said just a few words to me, his voice low and steady, as he stood tall and imposing in front of me.

“Welcome Y/N. It’s good to finally see you.”

His words carried more weight than I could have anticipated. His eyes, piercing and intense, peeked out from behind the yellow bandana that covered the lower half of his face. They seemed to see right through me, into the very core of who I was. I had heard the stories about him—the Torchbearer, the symbol of rebellion. Standing before him was surreal. His presence radiated a power that commanded both respect and awe, leaving me speechless. Questions bubbled inside me, questions about his journey, about the rebellion, about the man beneath the bandana. But before I could utter a word, a pair of banditos appeared at my side, firmly but not unkindly leading me away toward a tent.

“You know, the Torchbearer doesn’t usually talk to new recruits these days. You’re lucky,” said a woman who introduced herself as Jenna. She held the flap of the tent open for me as we stepped inside, her tone matter-of-fact but tinged with a note of envy.

“Really?” I asked, glancing back toward where I had left him. “Why not?”

“Too busy, I guess. Coordinating rebellion is time consuming,” she replied with a shrug, as if this was a simple truth everyone here accepted. She set to work taking my jacket, replacing its ordinary appearance with strips of yellow tape, meticulously applied like a mark of belonging. Everyone in the camp wore the same vivid, sunburst hue—a symbol of unity, defiance, and hope.

“That must be hard for him,” I murmured, lying down flat on the makeshift cot as she pressed the tape to the shoulders of the jacket.

Jenna paused for a moment, as though considering my words. “I never really thought about it like that,” she admitted, ripping the tape with her teeth. “He’s always so focused on putting everyone else first—our needs, the movement, the cause. He barely talks to anyone except Clancy. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember he’s just a person and not this... this untouchable figure.” She chuckled softly, a touch of awkwardness in her tone, before handing the jacket back to me. “You’re all set. This tent is yours as long as you need it. We try to make sure everyone has a place to settle in when they first arrive.”

She stood, brushing her hands on her pants, and flashed me a smile. “You’re welcome to join us anytime, by the way. We usually hang out around the fire, or by the supply tents. But no pressure—most newcomers like to have space at first. It’s a lot to take in.”

I nodded, her words striking a chord. She was right. Leaving Dema wasn’t just a decision; it was a leap of faith, a choice made against all odds. And meeting the banditos was overwhelming in its own way. Trench was nothing like the city I had escaped—it was vibrant, alive in a way I had never known. The burst of color, the hum of activity, the sheer humanity of it all—it was like stepping onto the edge of a towering precipice and looking down. The dizzying sense of freedom was both exhilarating and terrifying.

I waited until the sun dipped below the horizon, the camp quieting as voices faded into the stillness of the night. Slipping out of the tent, I tread carefully, my steps soft against the cold earth. The air was crisp, and each breath emerged as a faint cloud in the moonlight. The faint chirping of crickets was the only sound that accompanied me as I approached the bonfire at the heart of the camp. The flames still danced, though the surrounding space was now deserted.

Standing there, bathed in the flickering light of the fire, the reality of my choice settled heavily on my shoulders. The life I had left behind in Dema felt distant, yet its weight lingered. I stared into the flames, my thoughts swirling, the enormity of it all pressing down on me. For the first time, I allowed myself to feel the raw truth: I was no longer a prisoner. 

“Y/N,” I heard a voice from behind me, making me jump slightly. The tall figure, still dressed in green, approached me. The Torchbearer. I stared up at him, his bandana now removed to reveal his face. He was handsome – that was something I was quick to notice – but he looked like he’d been through a lot, a few light scars scattered across his face along with dark shadows under his eyes. “What’re you doing out this late?” He asked, tilting his head slightly as he looked me up and down. It took me a second to respond to him, the words refusing to leave my mouth. 

“Getting some fresh air,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. My eyes felt heavy, as I stared into the flames of the fire. 

“The air is clearer out here. Clancy told me that.” The tone of his voice was clear and stoic. I nodded along, trying to keep my composure rather than let the anxiety that came with the Torchbearer standing next to me take over. 

He struck me as the kind of man who would say his piece and then leave without fanfare. But here he was, standing just a few feet away, his presence heavy and unyielding like the mountains surrounding Trench. His gaze flicked to the fire, then back to me, and I noticed the way his posture softened slightly, like he was trying—awkwardly—to put me at ease.

“It is,” I replied quietly. “I don’t think I’ve ever breathed air like this before.”

The corners of his lips twitched—not quite a smile, but close enough to startle me. “You get used to it,” he said. “But the first time... It’s something you don’t forget. I hear new escapees talk about it a lot.”

For a moment, silence stretched between us, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. The fire crackled, filling the space, as if granting us permission to let the quiet settle in. He seemed lost in thought, his expression distant yet oddly peaceful.

“You listen to them a lot, don’t you?” I found myself asking, the words tumbling out before I could second-guess them. 

“Of course I do,” he started, “they’re my people. It’s my job to protect them. How can I make sure the banditos are safe if I don’t know these things about them?” 

I smiled, understanding completely what he was saying. “You’re a good leader.”

“I try,” he said, looking down at me. 

“What keeps you up this late?” I tried to keep the conversation going, wanting more dialogue with him. 

He blinked, almost like he hadn’t expected the question. Then his brow furrowed slightly, and he lowered himself onto a log near the fire, his movements measured and deliberate. “Thinking,” he admitted after a pause. “There’s always something to think about.”

I nodded, sensing there was more he wasn’t saying. Of course there would be—he carried the weight of the rebellion on his shoulders, and I doubted he let anyone see the full scope of that burden. Still, the fact that he’d chosen to sit here, to share this moment, felt significant.

“Do you miss it?” I asked softly. “The life you had before all of this?”

His eyes met mine, sharp and searching, as if trying to decide how much to reveal. Then he exhaled, his shoulders sagging slightly. “I miss... certain things,” he said slowly. “Moments. People. But not the cage. Not the lies.”

The raw honesty in his voice caught me off guard, and I found myself leaning closer, drawn in by the rare glimpse of vulnerability. He noticed, his gaze flickering to mine briefly before returning to the fire.

“Do you?” he asked, his tone quieter now, almost hesitant. “Miss anything?”

I hesitated, the question striking a chord deep within me. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I think I’m still figuring out what I had... and what I didn’t.”

He nodded, his expression softening. “It’s like that for everyone, at first. You’re not alone in that.”

The words, simple as they were, stirred something in me. I hadn’t expected reassurance from him, of all people. For a moment, I watched him, noting the way the firelight danced in his eyes, how his face seemed less guarded, more human in the glow.

“I didn’t think you’d be so...” I started, then trailed off, suddenly self-conscious.

He raised an eyebrow. “So... what?”

“Kind,” I finished, my cheeks warming. “You’re different than I thought you’d be.”

His lips curved slightly, a faint, almost sheepish smile that disappeared as quickly as it came. “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment,” he said, but his tone held no malice.

“It is,” I said earnestly.

For the first time, his gaze lingered on mine, and the intensity in his eyes made my breath catch. He seemed to be weighing something, the firelight reflecting the flicker of uncertainty in his expression. Then, slowly, he reached out, his hand hovering just shy of my own.

“Y/N,” he said, my name sounding different on his lips, softer, like he was savoring it. “You’re brave, you know that?”

I blinked, startled by the shift in his tone. “I don’t feel brave,” I confessed.

His fingers brushed mine lightly, a fleeting touch that sent a shiver up my spine. “Maybe not yet,” he said. “But you are. And you’ll see it, in time.”

The warmth in his voice, the quiet conviction, left me speechless. For a moment, it felt like the rest of the world had faded away, leaving just the two of us by the fire, bound together by something unspoken yet undeniable.

The days that followed were... strange. The Torchbearer returned to his usual stoic, distant self during the day. He was still polite, still nodded at me when we passed each other, but the softness, the warmth he had shown me that night by the fire, was gone. It was as though a wall had sprung up between us, and I couldn’t help but feel like I had done something wrong.

Had I overstepped? Said too much? Misread the entire moment?

The questions gnawed at me as I tried to integrate myself into life in the camp. Jenna and the others were kind and welcoming, and I found myself drawn into their lively camaraderie, but a part of me couldn’t let go of the quiet ache every time I caught sight of him. He was always busy—discussing plans with Clancy, overseeing the camp’s supplies, training new recruits—but I could feel his eyes on me sometimes, watching from a distance. And yet, every time I looked his way, he turned away as if nothing had happened.

It was maddening.

One evening, after several days of this strange dance, I found myself wandering again, unable to shake the restless feeling in my chest. The camp was winding down for the night, the fire once again a solitary beacon in the darkness. I hesitated, debating whether I should even bother approaching it, but my feet carried me forward before I could decide otherwise.

To my surprise, he was already there. The Torchbearer stood with his back to me, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket as he gazed into the flames. His posture was tense, his shoulders drawn up slightly as if he were wrestling with some unseen force.

I stopped in my tracks, unsure whether to leave or stay. Before I could decide, he spoke.

“Y/N.”

He didn’t turn around, but his voice was unmistakable, low and steady like always, but with a note of something... different. Hesitation? Regret?

I swallowed, forcing myself to step closer. “Yeah?”

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said, still not looking at me.

I blinked, startled. “I could say the same for you.”

He finally turned, his eyes meeting mine, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe. His expression was unreadable, but his gaze was intense, filled with something I couldn’t quite name.

“I’m not good at this,” he said abruptly, his voice quieter now. “At... talking. At letting people in.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but the words caught in my throat. He took a step closer, his presence overwhelming but not unwelcome, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I thought maybe if I kept my distance, it would be easier. For you. For me. But it’s not.” He paused, exhaling sharply, as though the admission cost him something. “You’ve been in my head since the moment you got here. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

The confession hit me like a gust of wind, stealing my breath. “I—”

“My name is Joshua,” he interrupted gently, a faint, almost shy smile tugging at his lips. “I think you’ve earned that much.”

“Joshua,” I repeated softly, the name feeling foreign but oddly right on my tongue. He nodded, letting out a loud sigh. 

“You know, I like you a lot right?” His smile faded as his gaze turned serious again. “More than I should.” He trailed off, his jaw tightening as he seemed to search for the right words. “I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”

For a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. The fire crackled softly behind him, casting flickering shadows across his face. My heart hammered in my chest as I searched his eyes, trying to make sense of the storm of emotions swirling inside me.

“You’re something different Joshua,” I whispered, the words trembling on my lips. “I like you too.”

His eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing his face before it softened into something warmer, something that made my chest ache in the best way. Slowly, as if giving me a chance to pull away, he stepped closer, his hand lifting to brush a strand of hair from my face. His touch was featherlight, almost hesitant, but it sent a spark racing through me.

“Tell me to stop,” he murmured, his voice barely more than a breath.

I shook my head, my pulse thundering in my ears. “Don’t.”

That was all he needed. His hand slid gently to cup my cheek, and then his lips were on mine, warm and firm and full of every unspoken word he couldn’t bring himself to say. The world fell away in that moment, leaving just the two of us, wrapped in the quiet intensity of the kiss. His other hand found its way to my waist, pulling me closer, and I melted against him, my fingers tangling in the fabric of his jacket.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against mine, his breath warm against my skin. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met,” he said softly, his voice tinged with wonder. “And I don’t want to lose this. Lose you.”

“You won’t,” I promised, my heart full and steady for the first time since I’d arrived. “You won’t.”

For the first time, the weight in his eyes seemed to lift, replaced by a flicker of hope. And as we stood there, wrapped in the glow of the fire, I knew with absolute certainty that I had made the right choice—not just in leaving Dema, but in trusting him.

Trusting us.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[cthulhusstepmom]

Another dichotomy Soap finds is just how jarring it is to wake up from the best sleep he's ever had in the arms of the man he's been obsessed with since they'd first collided. He doesn't slip out while Ghost is still asleep but it's an embarrassingly near thing, largely stopped by the tight grip his Lt has around his middle. He doesn't register drifting back to sleep but the next time he wakes a heavy hand is jerkily stroking through his hair in absentminded movements. It's the best thing he's ever felt. He doesn't want it to end, especially considering the talk that would follow it, awkward at best and soul crushing at worst. Soap doesn't want to lose this, not when he'd just barely got it.

He can't remember what he'd tried to say, something stupid he's certain, but before the first syllable is even out of his mouth Ghost drops the hand from his hair, he doesn't even have time to be disappointed before the same hand is cupping his jaw and the rough pad of a calloused thumb is passing gently over his lips. Soap feels more than hears the quiet, content sigh from behind him. Normally he would rail against being hushed, he's grown goddamn man for gods sakes, but all he can bring forth is an answering sigh as he feels the tension leave his shoulders. Soap doesn't remember falling asleep again but when he wakes up, the bed next to him is empty and he feels a bolt of cold dread before he hears the quiet sounds of a rain shower from the attached bathroom. At his feet on the bed are two sets of clothes. He doesn't feel much like showering, unless it would be with Ghost and that idea appeals to him all too much, so he simply forces himself up. Both of the offerings are Ghost's clothes though one could be considered slightly smaller and Johnny quickly slips them on before he has to explain himself. He sits quietly as Ghost finishes his own routine and no words pass between them as Ghost slips on his own clothes as well as what Soap has dubbed the "around base" balaclava and they leave side by side to get breakfast from the mess to eat in the rec room. And if they stand closer together than would strictly be appropriate, it's no one's business but their own.

Johnny grabs his bag of arugula from the communal fridge as Ghost gets up to follow him, snagging a couple of strawberries from Gaz's side of the fridge to loud protest. There's somewhat if an awkward pause at his door and he can see doubt start to well in Ghost's eyes. Can't fucking have that, Soap decides.

"I wasnae lying when I said it's a mess."

"S'alright" Ghost replies quietly, angling himself to leave.

"But if you want ta come in you can meet mah wee babes?" He offers. "Course got a couple snakes wouldnae want to make you uncomfortable, Wee Man is a big bastard but I promise yeh he's-"

"Ok."

Blue meets brown and there's a momentary heavy silence before Soap nods and reaches to unlock his door.

It's surreal, seeing Ghost in a space he's dedicated himself to keeping Ghost-free. At the same time it feels so right, like a missing piece he'd just realized was gone. Soap stands by the door as his Lt moves forward into the room, partly for a ready escape and partly because neither of them are small men and it would get very cramped very fast.

"What eats that?"

Soap sits there for a long moment blinking dumbly before he realizes Ghost is pointing to the arugula in his hand.

"Oh uh this is for the lizards, blue tongue up there named Yzma and the Beardie next to her, her name's Freya" shortly after receiving Yzma the skink he'd been able to hook up a home for Bart the leopard gecko and even quicker after that ended up with Freya, an 8 year old leatherback bearded dragon. "They also need some bugs, hope you don't mind roaches."

It's an awkward dance to get past Ghost to his closet and it ends with Ghost sitting cross legged on his bed for which Soap isn't complaining. It's easy, slipping into prepping the salads with easy familiarity. Ripping greens into smaller bites for the baby skink and slicing the strawberries as a treat. As he preps the salads he finds himself talking at Ghost as he usually does, unsure if the man is listening but not necessarily needing him to. He talks about his childhood and his Da's reptiles, Martha and Bowser back home, he talks about his first snake bite from a wild grass snake he'd found when he was 10. He talks about his rescues as he rummages around in the dubia roach bin for the right sized bugs, talks about why he does it and a little about each animal as he dusts the bugs with calcium powder. Soap undoes the lock on each cage, dropping them in and smiling as the lizards jump after them, before relocking the tanks and turning back to face Ghost, startling at the intensity in his eyes.

"You really love them don't you." It's more of a statement than a question but Soap answers anyway.

"Aye."

"And he's the one who bit you?" Ghost looks a little unsure nodding towards the corner of the big tank where Wee Man is barely visible curled up amidst the plants.

"Och it's a stupid story, poor lad just has shite depth perception s'all. He's the friendliest fucking snake though I'll tell you what. "

"Friendly?" Soap's heart hurts at the confusion in Ghost's voice.

"I know you haven't really had a...good experience with snakes but I promise most of them are the sweetness things."

Ghost looks deep into his eyes for a while before turning back towards Wee Man. They sit in silence for a long moment before Ghost nods minutely.

"I'll try." He turns back to Johnny. "For you I'll try." Johnny feels a weight in his throat and can only bring himself to nod.

"Thank you."