#but it was about people pleasing and neurodivergence. ah.

[good-beans]

Having a normal one (<- brain produced an emotional dream that's a ridiculously on the nose metaphor for something that's been on her mind rip)

[emphasisabled]

art goals for 2025

get better at doing backgrounds -> clutter, interiors, exteriors

get back into watercolours!!! maybe even ACRYLIC. i have so much art supplies that got dusty during my year and a half long pseudo-sleep, it saddens me to see :(

get WEIRDER and QUEERER

maybe? some oc comics? :o

vibe more breathe more feel more absorb those colours and see them in all places again

more landscapes, more traditional in gen. need to see if my inking pens still work.......

skulls skulls skulls skull :3 and sparklies

[zzthekaiju]

So...Lumi's out

First of all, my initial thoughts:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT'S PEAK! GO WATCH IT NOW, THE REST OF YOU! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?!

Okay, how about a bit more detail.

Let me get something out of the way here. The fact that this pilot is mostly an animatic as opposed to a fully-completed animation...is an absolute non-issue, and in fact a blessing. We need to take this mindset of "if it's not as crisp and borderline industry standard-looking as something like Hazbin or Lackadaisy then it doesn't deserve attention", put it in a casket, and BURY it so far below the ground it makes the remains of Precambrian lifeforms jealous.

Besides, the animatic release of the recent indie pilot, "Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to Be a Magical Girl" is absolute proof that you don't NEED to have a fully completed episode to wow others (Seriously, we all need to thank @kianamaiart for being such an inspiration). You just need a good concept, endearing characters, a ton of effort on full display, and a can-do attitude.

Lumi delivers on all of those fronts.

First of all, Evan Besser, AKA @starteas, needs a titanic pat on the back for releasing this during Autism Acceptance Month. Because simply put, speaking as someone on the spectrum, this is a cartoon made by autistic people, for autistic people.

Take main character Siona for instance. Aside from being canonically autistic, she really feels like the neurodivergent experience personified. She has really niche interests, tons of knowledge/enthusiasm regarding said interests, and struggles with expressing that in a society not quite built with people like her in mind. It's quite relatable when you think about it.

Other major autism-coded aspects include just the fantastical setting/characters in general and the themes of finding acceptance and belonging via friends. I'm not going to act like a total expert on the matter, but I do speak from experience.

Now what about the pilot itself? Well, what can I say except it's everything I wanted it to be?

Ah, I can do it in note form:

-I...did not expect to sympathize with Hala like I did by the pilot's end. I don't want to give anything away, but my opinion of her did a complete 180 upon seeing the big twist. From "you are terrible" to "you don't deserve this, but you're out of control". Impressive!

-Siona is such a treasure throughout. Just a cute kindhearted autistic slug girl doing her best. I vibe with her immensely. She'd be my favorite character if not for someone else having that title.

-Davin...what can I say, I've been in love with this character's design and personality since Day 1, and they did not disappoint. It was heart-melting seeing them being so supportive and close with their best friend. Their hugs are just so casual and warm and aughghghgh...I wish I could be more like them.

-Holden kind of felt like he was constantly skirting the line between "lovable rogue" and "unconcerned brat", but we don't watch these things for everyone to be squeaky-clean, now do we? Either way, I like the dynamic he provides with the others.

-I know I've spent the longest time bullying Felicity for being the typical rich brat, but I was honestly surprised by how emotionally vulnerable she turned out to be. Yeah, she still has the hallmarks of characters I detest, but I ADORE how it's shown right out the starting gate that she's capable of being a multi-dimensional person who clearly has a lot of baggage AND is capable of being a good person.

-Mika is NEVER going to beat the simp allegations. And he sounds like Hermes from "EPIC: The Musical". He's hilarious and I love him for that.

-Lumi...OH MY GOD THEY'RE SUCH A LITTLE BABY THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't take it, they were so adorable with the smallness and the "pyu" noises and the way Siona is so gentle and welcoming with them. The way they bond with Davin is a major bonus as well.

-...yeah, this whole pilot is basically "Exhausted parents give their gremlin son a little sibling while aggravating the royalty". I will accept no counter-arguments.

-Spoiler alert but, to a certain character I thought I was going to support every step of the way...

If you know, you know.

-I should also note that the expressions in this thing are just as funny as they would have been fully-animated, if not funnier. Below are the ones that had my sides hurting from laughter:

-Background aliens were really neat, some REALLY amusing Easter eggs if you know where to look. But I find it rather hilarious that one of the aliens is literally Just A Penguin. Reminds me of the bear gag from "Avatar: The Last Airbender".

Altogether...I'm so happy to have been a part of this journey. As some of you probably know, I've done a sizeable amount of fan-arts/fan-comics for this show since I really started getting into it last year. I've worked really hard on them, and I'd highly recommend you check them out (plus for those of you who want to dub the comics I've done, you are VERY welcome to do so provided you give proper credit and such).

But this isn't about me. This is about the artist who has inspired me and undoubtedly so many others. Evan, if you're reading this, I want you to know that you have come SUCH a long way, and I am more than glad to have discovered you and known you as a fellow artist. You may have your doubts and your resignations, but you need to look at where your hard work has gotten you. You've made something that not only radiates creativity and charm, but helps neurodivergent people like us feel more seen than ever. You and your crew(mi) deserve every bit of praise and support you've received and more, and I don't think the latter could have done this without you at the helm. And it's paying off in ways you probably couldn't even imagine. That writing gig you got at none other than Glitch Productions is a clear indicator that the next generation of animation is looking upon you with a bright smile and a guiding hand towards the future.

So rest for awhile. You've more than earned it. Maybe the wait will be short, maybe it'll be long. Either way, when you're ready to once again break out this amazing great big galaxy you've crafted, we'll all be there there. And until then, we'll support whatever decision you make.

You're gonna truly rattle the stars, one day.

(Oh, and I'm going to be making a Vo Memes -style tribute video with some help over the week, just thought I'd let you know that).

[star-the-gremlin]

Some info about the MiracuClass in my au to get me back into the miraculous headspace. It's not much but it's something at least.

Chloe - Red Velvet (ladybug) Red

Pansexual (in denial)

she/her cis

unhealthy favoritism towards her mom

needs to wear glasses but refuses to do so (glares a lot)

spaces out a lot

very low self esteem

Sabrina - Léopard Forcé (cat) Léo

Lesbian (in the closet because homophobic dad)

she/they cis

atheist

anxiety

gender dysphoria

video game addict

fidgets a lot

cheese addict

Adrien - Renard Libre (fox) Renard

bisexual

he/him cis for now

paranoia

model diet malnutrition (best I can describe it)

gender dysphoria

NOT a sentimonster

Marinette - Goldenrod (bee) Goldie

bisexual

she/her cis

adhd

overthinker

AWKWARD

panic disorder

savior complex

Alya - Terrapin (turtle)

bisexual (leaning towards men)

she/her cis

absolutely no awareness of personal danger if it means she gets a good story

nosy af

middle child syndrome

Nino - DJ Cheval (horse) DJ

whoever can match his freak is fair game

he/they cis

obsessed with music

little too naive and childish for his own good

some flavor of neurodivergent

Alix - Roloway (monkey)

aroace

any

history smart but hides it well

spray paint is her passion

"I'm fast as fuck boi" ah energy

dyes and cuts their hair themself

Max - Kalameet yes from Dark Souls, he's a nerd (dragon)

gay ace

he/him cis

atheist

video game addict

unhealthily competitive

gamer rage is definitely there but he keeps it professional if its a multiplayer game

Juleka - Lièvre Blanche (rabbit) Liévre

Lesbian

she/her trans

selective mutism

social anxiety

insomnia

vitamin d deficiency

Rose - Mademoiselle Serpent (snake) Serpent

pansexual

she/her cis

vertigo

adhd

hypefixates on everything

afraid of clowns/mimes etc.

Kagami - Byakko (tiger)

bisexual

she/her cis

NOT a sentimonster

no idea how to talk to people because of isolation

always tired from constant training

her eye bags have eye bags

Luka - Basque Lavande (pig) Basque

aroace

they/them

autism

probably smokes weed

mostly communicates through music

Zoe - Rat King (mouse) King

bisexual (Leaning towards women)

any (prefers masculine)

cares a little too much about what other people think of them to the point it leads her to lying

sort of a jack of all traits

clingy

blue-yellow colorblind

trying very hard to get on Chloe's good side

Ivan - Ram Slam (goat)

straight

he/him cis

anger issues

beneath all the muscle hes a sweetheart just don't piss him off

metal enjoyer

Mylene - Shorthorn (ox)

straight

she/her cis

panic disorder

anxiety

listens to white noise to calm down

likes acting but hates people watching her act

Marc - King Shepherd (dog) Shepherd

gay

he/they/it

autism

social anxiety

selectively mute

conveys his feeling through writing

Kim - Taolon from tao and talon (rooster)

bisexual (leaning towards women)

he/him cis

absolute dumbass

adhd

extremely competitive

spoiled by his parent ("Our boy can do no wrong" type of shit)

too confident for his own good

Nathaniel - no miraculous

bisexual ace

he/him trans

jewish

introverted

not really a team player

daydreams a lot (mostly about his own comic series)

Lila - no miraculous

bisexual

she/her trans

pathological liar

impostor syndrome

gives up immediately if things don't go her way

very good actress (stolen by the theater club)

attention seeker

please someone tell her moms to stop neglecting her she is not okay

[luveline]

If you ever start requests up again (if you don't thats fine lol), I'd wonder how Miguel would be with an autistic (or any neurodivergent disability) reader? Thanks regardless for the great reads you've given!

hi!! i don't have autism so please forgive any inauthenticity, but i have a frame of reference in someone close to me so I hope this is somewhat like you wanted! if you ever want to request with specific traits, please do! ty for requesting

"This is the worst thing that could've happened," Miguel says, furious. 

You, sitting on the table by his workbench, glance away from your book reluctantly. Your lips part, confusion a line between your brows as you ask, "Are you making a joke?" 

"It's hyperbole. I'm exaggerating." 

"I thought so, but it's hard to tell. You said it very convincingly." 

"Sorry," he says, glaring down at his broken doohickey. Useless plastic, useless screwdriver useless Miguel. 

"Exaggerating… you're upset," you say. 

Miguel is both surprised and not. He doesn't always expect you to be able to read him. Your autism complicates how you recognise emotion, but you're caring, and now you've been told an effect (exaggeration) you can identify the cause (Miguel's broken device). 

"I'm frustrated," he tells you, leaning back in his chair. "I really thought this one would work." 

"I think the wrong thing all of the time," you say, sympathy creeping into your tone. Some might think you're unemotional, and the reality might be true for others, even yourself when you're with unfamiliar people, but it's not true in this instance. "Maybe I can help." 

Miguel scoots back his chair and you stand between his thighs, eyes roving over the fragments of his device, taking everything in. You love engineering —your involvement with the Arachno Humanoid Poly Multiverse had been, in your own words, the best thing that ever happened to you, as it dropped you head first into new technology, better technology than you ever saw on your Earth. You spend longer than you should bending over books about science undiscovered on your planet, your life a pressing of hydraulics, centrifuges, holographic projection, and magbelt machinery that Miguel loves to play. 

"It's badly soldered," you say. 

He winces. No punches held. "I used to be better." 

"You're bad now." 

You asked him a while back to let you know if you ever stepped on his toes, so to speak. Usually Miguel would leap to agitated disagreement, but you asked, and he likes you. He explains.

"Ah, that hurts my feelings," he says, without heat. "I know objectively that you're right, but people appreciate fluffing when it comes to observational critique." Miguel scoots his chair back as you turn to face him. "It's okay. I'm not mad." 

"You're patient," you say, nodding. "Sorry. Fluffing… how would you say it?" 

"I'd say, your soldering is a little iffy." 

"It's a lot iffy." 

"That's the fluffing. A white lie. No one's feelings get hurt and the problem is still identified." 

You nod more. "I'm a little better at soldering. I can fix it for you." 

"Nice," he says. 

He stands up and squeezes your shoulder gently. Your face dips to his hand and holds it there, cheek pressed to his knuckles, a smile turning the corners of your mouth up. Miguel isn't expecting it, but he doesn't rush you. 

"Can we spend time together after we fix it?" you ask.

"If we fix it." 

"I can fix it," you say happily, straightening your head and freeing his hand. "I'm much better at soldering than you." 

Miguel's a prideful person by instinct. He walks to the side of the workshop where he keeps the soldering iron and associated paraphernalia, throwing a quip over his shoulder, "You think you're better."

"I know I'm better," you say, sitting in his chair. "Sorry. I know a little that I'm better." 

He should say, Hey, we'll work on it, but Miguel doesn't want to. He likes you just as you are, accidental insults and all. 

[limoki]

I said this on my twitter to bum-fuck no one but it's something I still feel so.

BPD (particularly Borderline Personality Disorder) has this really annoying consensus to it where "These people will find issues with finding and developing meaningful and healthy relationships" and most people will usually instead word it as:

"These people will never find a good friendship or Relationship."

or, even more annoying:

"Most abuser's have BPD."

And these are, by far, one of the most annoying, most harmful fucking things I've ever seen again, and again, and again.

Since this isn't twitter, I can actually voice my opinion on this without a stupid fucking word count limiting me. So! I have a lot to say.

I have BPD (again, Borderline). I am fucking paranoid if I'm abusing someone. I worry that I'm secretly not enough and that I'm going to be abandoned. I have sudden outbursts of highly positive emotions and also deeply negative ones. It's about as controllable as playing pool on a rocking sea ship. It's not that it's impossible. Just that I have to put way, WAY more work in to be considered what is the normal amount of an emotion to feel.

(I know that describing it like this is a loaded way to do so, but I don't want to get into what is considered normal by people who very obviously hate anything out of the norm.)

The way everyone talks about it, too. Fucking makes me livid.

This, got thrusted upon me yesterday. It really bothered me because:

ah, okay. Either all my girlfriends are just built different (good.)

OR

2. This person is genuinely being awful to his ex because they had BPD and don't know

And you fucking know what? Judging by what I was already figuring out (thanks to my one of my most wonderous girlfriend). It was probably, most likely 2.

I really fucking hate how BPD has become this fucking. Modifier that suddenly makes people hard to date. You gotta be patient, you gotta be gentle. The disorder is something, like all mental disorders, caused by trauma.

If you genuinely think this, ask yourself. Would someone with just depression be too much to date? How about someone with a disability? How about someone who is neurodivergent?

It'd be pretty fucked up to say "Yeah I don't wanna date someone with a wheelchair because they would be too much to help deal with their every day needs." So how is BPD any different.

I just want BPD to be treated like any other traumatic disorder, please. It can't be that hard to see it like this.

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

The War Within - Part Two

Briefly Joel x Neurodivergant Reader Then Tommy x Neurodivergant wife reader

Part 1

Summary: The time has come after all these years for you to face Joel again. But when a conversation goes wrong and leaves you reeling after he finds out you and Tommy are married, your fierce protectiveness comes out as you defend Tommy after Joel accuses him of taking you from him

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, Reader admits to not wanting to be alive anymore in the last, Angst- Lots and lots of it in this chapter, Verbal fighting- lots of it , course language and lots of swearing, emotional, talks of anxiety, depression, Panic attacks, Neurodivergant reader. No use of y/n. Reader goes by the nickname Birdie. Use of typical pet names.

A/N: I hope you all love this new multi part journey I've been working on, I'm extremely proud of this story. I understand that this storyline/ themes aren't for everyone.

There is a possibility for a part 3 if everyone is interested that would be a look at Reader and Tommy's relationship and the love they have for each other and how they take care of each other following the events in this chapter so please let me know if you are interested in seeing that happen.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your chest tightens, your thoughts dizzying as you try to comprehend what Tommy’s telling you.

“W-what?”

“He arrived today with some Firefly kid Marlene hired him to transport out here to some base. He immediately started asking about you, askin to see you.”

The look of panic in your eyes as you try to steady your breath has Tommy engulfing you in his warm embrace pulling you to his chest.

“I-I don’t think I’m ready to see him Tommy, I don’t think I can handle it”

“Sweet girl it’s ok, but I put him in his place, told him he had no right to demand to see you and that you had the right to decide. If you don’t want to see him you don’t have too, nobody’s gonna make you”

——————————————————————

Joels zoning out during dinner, they’ve been in Jackson for a couple of days, him and Ellie leave the day after tomorrow and he still hasn’t seen you much less heard anyone mention you. He’s starting to feel like you’re not here but that nobody wants to tell him. He’s pulled from his thoughts by Ellie’s constant chatter.

“Are you paying attention Joel?” Ellie teases

“Huh?”

“ I said I made a friend here at the stables?”

“Oh yea? The kids here do seem pretty nice”

“Not a kid dummy, an adult lady. She works at the stables and the barn”

“Ellie what did I tell you about bothering the people here?”

“I’m not bothering her, she’s really nice, pretty too. I’m not sure how old she, definitely not as old as you because you’re like ancient”

Joel chuckles at Ellie’s dig at him, but she doesn’t miss a beat.

“I met her the other day, I was trying to find somewhere quiet away from the other kids to eat and I ducked into the stables and she was there taking care of the horses and she said I could hang out in there. She’s been letting me help her feed the animals and talks with me. She keeps telling me I can come back and she teaches me more about the animals.”

“She sounds very nice, this mystery girl have a name?”

“Here’s the thing, she said her names Birdie, which i gotta admit at first I thought that was a friggen weird name but then she said everyone calls her that because of her love of animals which i think is pretty cool!”

Joel’s in shock, his mouth falls open when he hears your name, hears that you’re still going by that all these years later. Birdie was a nickname him and Tommy had given you before the outbreak because of you love of all animals. He’s able to snap his mouth closed before Ellie noticed his reaction.

“She has a radio in there and has these cassettes that my friend found when we were back at the QZ that she lets me listen too.”

“You should meet her, I bet you’d think she was pretty cool”

“Oh ah yea maybe, I’ll have to see if I can make it over there before we leave. I wouldn’t want to bother her.”

“Hey will you be alright here for a while? I gotta go talk to Tommy about some stuff before we depart”

“Oh yea sure, I’ll read more of those diaries I found in the bedroom”

Ellie hardly gets her answer out before Joel’s grabbing his jacket and racing out the door.

You’re already upstairs when you hear the frantic knocks at your front door.

You’re shutting off all the lights when you hear another frantic series of knocks before you hear him.

“Tommy you in there?” Joel’s muffled voice shouts through the door from the other side.

Tommy glances up the stairs to see you peeking downstairs from the darkness.

“What’s going on Joel? Everything alright?” Tommy asks as he opens the door.

Joel says nothing, just pushes past him into the house.

“Please Tommy just tell me where I can find her, we leave day after tomorrow and I just want to see her”

“Joel I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t think she wants to see you”

“Tommy please” Joel’s voice sounding more and more pained as they moved around the main floor of the house.

“Look I’m not sure if I’m gonna make it back from my journey. I ain’t what I used to be, I’m getting old, I’m slower than I used to be, I can’t think as quickly. Don’t hear so well out of my one ear. Im failing in my sleep Tommy, every morning when I wake up I feel like I’ve lost something. Please. If I’m gonna die I don’t want too of never seen her again.” Joel’s voice cracks as the tears start to well.

You’ve never heard Joel speak like that, with that kind of desperation and pain.

“I-it’s ok Tommy, I’ll talk to him” you say from partially down the stairs.

Joel stops, heart beat racing at the sound of your voice.

“She-she’s here?”

Tommy nods his head.

“Stay in here and let her come down on her own when she’s ready.”

Tommy heads up the stairs to meet you, he can tell by the way the dim light seeps into the stairway that your already crying.

“Ill be right up here if you need me sweet girl” Tommy whispers as he places a silent kiss on your forehead.

You wait a few beats before you slowly head down into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Youre so quiet that it seems as though you’ve popped out of thin air when Joel looks up to see you sitting there eyes glued to the floor.

“Birdie?” Joels voice is just above a whisper, but you still hear it.

You pick your head up to look at him but quickly whip your head back down because the tears start as soon as you make eye contact with him.

Joel slowly makes his way to the couch, so quietly it’s as if he might scare you if he moves too quick. His work boots, the same boots he always had come into your life of vision.

“C-can I sit?”

You nod your head yes, still unable to get any words out.

“Birdie its-its so good to see you, I never thought I’d see you again”

“You too Joel” your voice is meek, your trying like hell to keep it together.

You can feel his gaze on you even though you’re not looking at him.

“I wish you would have told me you were leaving, we could have fixed things…. We can still fix things. I just don’t understand”

His emphasis on we can still fix things makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

“We couldn’t talk about things without getting into a screaming match Joel, how were we supposed to fix things?” You say finally letting your eyes meet his, tears rolling down your cheeks.

You flinch away when Joel reaches up to bush the tears away, but a couple of his fingers make contact, smoothing along the curve of your cheek.

“Sorry, force of habit” you mumble when you see his hurt expression at you flinching. Never in all your time with him had you ever flinched away from him.

“I just….I just don’t understand why you left.”

“You didn’t see my note?”

“I did I just….I would of done anything to figure things out. I would of done anything to take care of you”

“You say that now Joel but do you not remember telling me that night during our last fight that you should be taking care of Sarah instead of me, that for the Hundredth time you were upset that I was crying during our argument. Reminding me that I was too sensitive for the state of the world”

“I will never fuckin’ forgive myself for saying stuff like that in the heat of the moment that I never meant.”

“I know and take responsibility for the fact that I was a lot to deal with. I’m not trying to blame you solely for our issues. I know that i spiraled when the outbreak happened. Forcing me to cold turkey not to have therapy, to not have the schedule and consistency that I desperately needed to making it through life day to day. I know that my panic attacks, anxiety and dissociative tendencies where thrown at you all at once when you where trying to navigate the loss of Sarah.”

You pull your gaze back down to your feet before you continue.

“You have no idea how badly I wanted to of had the chance to show you those parts of myself slowly, in a different way. But our relationship was doomed from the start, we’d only been together six months When the outbreak happened. Nothing we could of done to fix anything, we just weren’t meant to be Joel and that’s ok.”

Joel scowls slightly at you. You didn’t mean for your words be be painful but they clearly stung him.

Joel sighs, rubbing his face with both of his callused hands.

“ I loved you. I hope you know that”

“That’s unbeknownst to me Joel”

“You can’t be serious”

“I’m not a fucking mind reader Joel. There are times when I thought you did. But we were together for years…years Joel and you never once told me you loved me. I told you everyday that I loved you. Hell I told you I loved you even on the days where all we did was fight and fuck. The only time I ever heard you say it was.” You stopped your self before you could finish your thought. You didn’t want to go there, to dig up all again.

You should of known Joel wasn’t going up give up so easily.

“The only time you heard it was when?” Joel pressed, eager to know what you had to say.

“ it doesn’t matter Joel, just drop it.”

“No I wanna hear it, I wanna figure this out”

“Please Joel just drop it, it’s not going to do anyone any good bringing all this up again. it doesn’t matter”

Joel sits back a little bit folding his arms over is chest. “ please just continue I want to hear it”

“ Fucking a Joel FINE, if you really want to hear it. The only time I ever heard you say I love you to anyone other than Sarah was the night I came home to see you buried deep inside Tess. Hearing you call her baby girl, telling her how much you loved her as you fucked her.”

You’re seething at this point. Burning so hot with anger that you feel like you could just burst into flames. Joel on the other hand looks like he’s just seen a ghost as all the color drains from his face.

“Oh my god…you-you saw that?”

“Of course I saw it Joel, I came home after being out all night looking for you to that”

“That’s why you were weren’t home? You were out looking for me after curfew? You shouldn’t have done that, those places are dangerous, you could of gotten hurt without me there to protect you”

“I shouldn’t of done that? No Joel you shouldn’t of fucked another women in our bed. I’m sorry that I risked myself to search all over the dark and seedy areas of the QZ for you because I was scared to death about the fedra guards catching you and beating the shit out of you when you were likely to drunk to defend yourself”

“I can’t keep having this conversation, it doesn’t matter Joel because in the end you both got what you wanted, Tess got you and you got someone you didn’t have to take care of”

You can feel the panic seeping in as your chest tightens and your heart races. Your desperately trying to breath deeply, trying to calm yourself as the panic spreads throughout your body. Joel notices your having a hard time and moves to wrap you in his arms, to try to comfort you the way he always should have.

“Ple-please don’t fucking touch me Joel, give me room to breath” you breath out as you snap your head up.

Tommy’s there before you in a flash. Running down the stair two to three steps at a time when he hears your breathy tone. The way your voice sounds when a panic attack is coming on, When he knows you need him without you having to express it.

Joel watches how good Tommy is with you with guilt and admiration. Seeing how Tommy’s able to help you through your episode, with the care that he himself should of shown you.

But those feelings are quickly replaced with red hot anger when he notices the matching rings you are both wearing when you bring your hands up to cup over Tommy’s hands as he cradles your face.

“Christ are you two fucking married!” Joel shouts, unable to hold it in.

Tommy feels you tense and whimper under his touch as Joel stands.

“We are, but now is not the time to discuss this” Tommy says in warning as he looks up at Joel, but his hands never leave you as he smooths his thumbs back and fourth on your cheeks to sooth you.

“This is why you stopped messaging me back isn’t it?”

“Enough Joel”

“It is isn’t it? Because you were ashamed to tell me, to admit that you took the one thing I had left away from me”

“Isn’t it?” Joel continues to press, seeing red and really unsure about what he’s even saying at this point.

You let out a strangled whimper, all the yelling and emotions overstimulating you, becoming to much to bare.

“It’s ok baby, don’t listen to him, just focus on my voice. I’ll protect you.. we can get through this” Tommy whispers as he rests his forehead against your head. He knew he wouldn’t take it well, and he was prepared to take all the verbal jabs, all the yelling and anger from Joel. He’s taken it before this time would be no different. All he cared about was shielding you, protecting you the best he could. It’s all he ever cared about was protecting you, keeping you safe. Tommy was terrified how damaging this was going to be for you.

“C’mon Tommy let me hear you say it! You never could stand me having something you didn’t.”

That what the final straw for Tommy.

“Fucking a Joel that’s enough, I said! You’re really going to do this in front of her even though you can tell she’s distressed.”

“I think she should hear it too, because I really have a hard time believing she just left without being persuaded”

Tommy’s standing now, facing Joel and directly in front of you as if he’s acting as a shield trying his hardest to protect you from the blow Joel is about to deal.

“What exactly are you tryin’ to get at Joel?”

“She wouldn’t just go off by herself, she was always by my side, to nervous to wonder around on her own much less leave the fucking QZ without me.”

“Funny, she might of never left you’re side but you ever think about all times you left her fucking side Joel?” Tommy snarls. Tommy feels you gripping his leg from behind him at the sound of him defending you.

“She was fucking fragile, always havin’ those episodes…”

“They’re not just fucking episodes Joel, they’re panic attacks” Tommy cuts Joel off, getting madder by the second. The fact that Joel is talking about you this way, insinuating what he’s insinuating.

“My point is she was fragile, she wasn’t of right mind, there’s no way she would of just decided to leave. You were around all the time, you knew she wasn’t ok and you used that to get her to leave”

Your squeezing tighter on Tommy’s leg.

“Enough Joel! This ends now. Do you even fucking hear yourself?

You let out a strangled guttural noise as you gripped Tommy’s leg to stand up on shaky legs.

Tommy turns giving you his full attention

“Baby it’s ok, dont push yourself. It’s not worth it”

“No I need to say something that he needs to hear” you say pulling away from Tommy, your piercing hazel eyes locked on Joel.

“ Your not the only one in pain Joel, your not the only one that’s hurting, that’s lost a loved one or experienced death. Did you ever even consider what it was like for Tommy to loose Sarah too? Or how going through the outbreak and doing some of the things we’ve all had to do to survive could have brought back horrific memories of his time in the military?”

Joel can’t do anything but stare back at you like a deer in head lights. So you take a deep breath and press on.

“The fact you would even think that Tommy would be capable of using my mental state to manipulate me into leaving you is low Joel, even for you. Like I can’t even fathom that you think he would do that to you and I. I’m going to make something very fucking clear to, I’m the one that asked him to join the fireflies. I’m the one that showed up at his door that early morning after seeing you and Tess because I needed to get away and I had no other options. Because if I’m being honest I wouldn’t have lived much longer if I stayed at the QZ.”

Joel arches his eyebrow in a concerned manner “wh-what do you mean you wouldn’t of lived much longer?”

Taking a ragged breath in as the tears begin to cascade down your cheeks you reply.

“I-I I didn’t want to live anymore. I was being suffocated by life, everyday the weight on my chest got heavier and heavier. Somedays it was nearly impossible to breath. I didn’t even feel like I was in my fucking body anymore. So i made the decision to leave on my own because I was fragile, because I didn’t want to die but I wouldn’t of survived feeling like that. To hear you admit you knew how fragile I was, how off I was is a special kind of hell thats going to take me along time to heal from.”

“Birdie…. It hurts me so much that I hurt you so badly” Joel moves forward to try to embrace you , to comfort you but you pull away from him.

“I always felt so small and weak compared to you. All I ever wanted was a fraction of the love and support I gave you in return. For someone to tell me it was ok, that I’d get through it. Just someone to fucking be there for me. The love between Tommy and I came slow. I agonized for 2 years about leaving, feeling selfish for not being there to care for you. But I had to think about taking care of myself.” You said before running up the stairs into the dark abyss of your room.

“ I hope your fucking happy with the damage you caused with what ever kind of point you were trying to make. I suggest you get the fuck out of this house before you cause anymore trauma for her, because I can guarantee you she will be reeling from this for a long time.”

“Tommy please I…”

“ I’m not messing around Joel get the fuck out. I need to go check on her and make sure she’s ok and I’m sure as hell not going to continue to fucking go there with you tonight” Tommy shouts as he slams the door.

Taglist:

@hiddenbabynyc @frogjumps-world @kaleidoscopewritings19

@coolchris77 @caitlynsixxx @natasharoblesjoneshi @jarman147 @bobgirllll @lovelessamai @hydralicious-bucky

@bellaramseysbitch @rav3n-pascal22 @saltymagazinecreation

@oriborealis250 @tybsbnbn @mellowbananacowboybandit @f1shb0nez @d19evyn @cafeznha @gigachadcowboy

@racheldon @elkenenvy @mirandablue1 @jellybeanxc

@adrien8097 @sweetlemonade11 @clownd1ck @nightmarebeforchristmas @moravalentine @silv3rmind

@miniatureangelhoundsoul @nopenopenope10484 @harryscumcloth @morgaussy, @kalllistos @spikershoyo @musings-of-a-rose @alongfortheridereader @princessmk21

[callofdudes]

Hello! I loved your simon riley x autistic reader headcanons. Could you do simon riley x adhd-c reader, if you're comfortable with that?

I've been struggling lately and would love some comfort from our favorite LT 💖

Ah, welcome fellow neurodivergent people! :)

Just a small reminder that I do not have ADHD and something I say that may be inaccurate. My here to spread love and learn 😊

ADHD-C Reader x Simon Riley

Before we start let me just say you and Johnny are demons for this man. The two ADHD soldiers running around and causing several layers of chaos everywhere. He loves you both but... Why? Is his question.

Ghost watches you closely. You have a history of doing your tasks with less than diligent hands and often getting distracted somewhere along the processing line.

Ghost understood this when he learned about your ADHD, seeing the shed half washed or entire patches of dirt having been missed. The van not cleaned out right or a task completely disregarded.

Ghost will gently guide you back, helping you finish. Ghost has also been trying to find way for making your tasks funner and more interesting to focus on to try and hold your attention. (ie: hanging streamers on the shed you have to wash away with the hose) to try and keep the creative stimulation going for a bit longer.

Gun cleaning is something you especially struggle with. And it's very important. You don't want your gun going wrong or getting jammed on a mission and exploding your head off. Ghost has made this very clear to you several times.

You'd remember... If you didn't have trouble listening as well. Things he says goes in one ear and out the other. Ghost isn't entirely sure if it even gets that far. And sometimes it can be annoying, getting through a briefing and having you ask him five minutes later what you are doing.

But he's patient. Oooh so patient.

He honestly isn't sure if giving you a fidget toy during briefings makes any difference in whether you're listening to him. Your eyes aren't on him so it doesn't really feel like it.

This is also why you're not allowed on solo missions unless you have a paper objective stuck to your forehead. You get so pent up over the stress and pressure of solo missions you completely forget what you were even doing there in the first place.

And a lot of times you do get stressed and can break down over not being able to get anything done. Which usually results in frustrated tears and exhaustion. Simon is there for you though.

"Hey, sergeant, what's going on?" Ghost stopped you in the hallway, looking at you for answers while you tried to wipe your tears. "Let me go, I can't help-"

"Hey," Ghost grips your shoulder a little tighter. "What's got you in a twist?"

"All my tasks, it's 2:00 and I haven't gotten anything done." You choke out, thinking he'll be mad.

But he's not. Not at you at least.

"Ok, that's alright. I want you to take a few deep breaths for me ok? Can you try to do that?"

You nod, stifling out some deep breaths and slowly calming down. "Good, you're doing amazing." Ghost rubs your back. "How about we go and do your tasks together, yeah?"

Your smile is a little wobbly but you nod. "Please??"

"Of course, let's go see what you have to do."

Ghost will help you, but he can also push his weight. Sometimes when you just seem genuinely bored with a task and nothing can fix it, he's going to push you. He knows it's extremely hard but this is a place for push and progress, so he'll stand by you and help you finish it despite the lack of stimulation to your brain.

"Ghoooost-!"

"Absolutely not, sit down. Finish your work."

You whine, finding it physically impossible not to fidget and get up from your desk to find something to do.

"I can put on some music or get you another juice box? But you are not getting up until this is done. I can give you a stretch break and let you roll on the floor for a bit or something, but no leaving your office until it's done."

You look up at him with a pouty lip and he pokes it, pushing it back into place. "I'm serious about this one y/n, I'm here to help you however you need but I need you to finish this ok.?"

You sigh and read the next question on your yearly evaluation. "Sex? Like, gender??"

Ghost nods.

"Oh! Did you know my cousin is having a kid and they don't want to know the sex? Why do they even have gender reveal parties..? I would use green if I ever had kids because green is a good color. Like trees are green, and grass and-"

"Focus. We're drawing it all back in, look at me."

You look over at Ghost. "Huh?"

"Look at me, we're drawing all of the thoughts back to me, right?"

You nod, keeping your eyes on him.

"Good, now, answer the question, that question only and then you're mostly done. Ok?"

You nod. "Ok, yeah, I can do that."

"Awesome, answer that last question."

Ghost likes to reward you for being persistent and pushing through difficulties. However.. he's learned the hard way not to tell you he's going to surprise you with something until it's over. Because you won't stop talking about it, or thinking about it. And then nothing ever gets done.

He also helps you get to bed. You can get distracted by so many things bedtime is overwhelming a lot. Simon will be there for you when it's late, helping you from whatever activity you are doing.

He makes sure you don't drink any coffee or anything a couple hours before bed, and tries to get you to bed around the same time every day.

"Did you brush your teeth? No, then let's do that before bed."

"Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?"

"Into bed little tree climber." Simon will joke. He knows you're an adult but it's still funny.

You sigh, looking at him while he runs his fingers through your hair and slowly massages your shoulder with the other, trying to relax you. You won't sleep if you're so tense.

You finally close your eyes, slowly relaxing while he runs his hands over your shoulders and down your sides in gentle motions to relax your spine and back, helping release all the tension and stress after the long day of running around.

"Im going to put on some music ok? Just take some deep breaths, try to close your eyes and sleep."

"Ok."

Simon turns on some slow music for you to help your brain calm down from all the zoomies of the day. He stated by your side, the room in total darkness with only the gentle music playing.

And soon enough you were off to bed.

Simon knows a lot of people find you exhausting. And sometimes you do tire him out, but he'll help you. He knows you need it a lot, and he'll always be there to gently nudge you in the right direction.

[bestcryptidismothman]

Here are some headcannons I have about sister imperator and Nihil, enjoy please :)

(Idk if this counts as a trigger warning but i just want to make sure people are aware; down in Nihil’s bit I reference emotional manipulation and drunk Nihil. Ye be warned)

Sister imperator

- Like the girl boss she is, she damn well has a plan for everything and preps for the worst, copia spraining his ankle on stage?, cleverly hidden icepacks and a quick healing potion to get those muscles relaxed and back up to par for the rest of the show till a doctor could look at it when the show was over and everyone would be at the hotel for the night.

- Regularily bitches to Nihil’s forefathers’s ghosts and his father exodeus about how stupid everyone is especially Nihil.

- Respite on the spital fields is sister’s lullaby to copia

- Dunno for me her real name is either Elanore or Elizabeth, just a gut feeling lol, leaning more towards elanore.

- My lady over here is pure blooded Italian straight over from the land of the Christian pope and pasta itself, she usually keeps her accent under wraps but if you make her angry it will get thicker and thicker depending on how badly you pissed her off, if she’s extremely angry to the point of throwing shit and killing a few people she will be yelling loudly in Italian.

- Even though copia and perpetua obviously get the eye of emeritus and all the things that come with being an emeritus I would love to belive that she’s the one that genetically gave them the ability to see and talk to the dead, ah nothing better than a woman that could kick your ass to the afterlife and beyond it

- Damn well knew perpetua and copia were neurodivergent the instant their little personalities started to become evident and takes the steps to ensure they were comfortable with things and such like

Nihil

- Ever since he was a young man whenever he would get upset (not using it to emotionally manipulate people cause I feel like that’s a thing he would do with but real genuine sadness) he would always get this saddest wettest puppy dog eyes that anyone has ever seen, the worst his ghouls have ever seen it get was after the whiskey a-go-go incident where he litterally couldn’t stop crying for five hours in his room realizing his mistake at loosing sister. If anyone needs a mental image think of SpongeBob when he’s really sad.

- Afraid of children

- When he’s drunk his emotions are god awful, very volatile, unpredictable and extremely strong in forthcoming.

- First generation Italian American

- Even though he’s first gen Italian American and you would think he at least would learn the native language his parents used but nope he only knows a few words and his pronunciation is absolutely half assed at best

- I would like to think his father is named exodeus

- Neurodivergent, though he doesn’t know since this was like the 60s slash whatever and mental health had a social stigma around this time and masks the hell out of everything, gets frustrated why he’s just…. Not like everyone else, not fine.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my dad to chew quietly?

I (23f) live with my parents (60s both of them) while I try to save for a house. My siblings also lived with our parents until after they graduated uni, i just graduated. I pay rent and buy my own groceries.

The issue is I may be neurodivergent. My therapist i just quit seeing refuses to label anyone, so I don't have an official diagnosis but I check most boxes that are symptoms.

I have this thing where I can't stand hearing people chew. It sends chills down my spine and makes me nauseous. Like nails on a chalkboard or how some people can't stand the sound of Styrofoam.

My dad snacks a lot. His favorites are chips and salsa or a handful of nuts. Which is fine! Except I can hear him chewing if the TV is off and we are in the living room (every other room there is no sound to distract).

At first I asked him politely to turn the TV on, and i explained his chewing was bothering me. He said that he's just chewing and didn't understand, but did so.

Except now he won't because he says i need to get over it. This isn't an every day occurrence. I have tried to leave the room, he gets frustrated. I have tried putting on headphones, which sometimes works and sometimes frustrates him.

If he was chewing normally, I know it would just be a me thing and would think I am the AH. However, I have watched him chew and he will open his mouth and chew then stop (for example, chew with mouth closed, mouth closed, mouth open, mouth closed, mouth closed, mouth open until the bite is finished and he swallows. The variations change, it isnt a set pattern).

We got in an argument last week about his mouth being open, he says it wasn't. He told me to grow up. This week he is doing it again and refuses to turn the tv on. My headphones died so I can't do that. To me, the crux of the issue is him chewing with his mouth open. I dont hear it when it is closed. So I recorded him without telling him, asked him to chew with his mouth closed or please turn on the tv, and he got upset. I showed him the video and he got more mad and said I was disrespectful and an arrogant brat. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[liltherianpaws]

an intro post i shouldve made a while ago

hi!! im v or ian (or reesie cup if youre yk who you are)

im an enby lesbian (they/them) and i have an amazing girlfriend who i will forever yap about

i am a minor, please no nsfw blogs interacting

some things i like: drawing, singing, painting, really anything art related, quadrobics, writing poetry, VIC DE ANGELIS AH FUCK SHE CAN STEP ON ME, and just ask about other stuff!

some things i LOVE: my girlfriend, korean food (mmm tteokbokki and japchae), alone time, music, baking, most music, etc.

some things i hate: people not respecting my space, sometimes my brain, cheese, the voices, etc.

theriotypes: vancouver sea wolf, canadian lynx, snow leopard, starkin, vampirekin, domestic black cat, crow

i am neurodivergent and queer

feel free to ask to become moots, and send asks! i need poetry prompts ;-;

I HAVE ONE TAG!!!

ONE!

#holy crackers!! - anything with me in it, so yea!!

also, NAE JAGEUN CHANGNYEO IF YOURE READING THIS

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMG AAA YOURE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE

ask me abt anything really kinda bored

[alatariel-gildaen]

Daryl Dixon - some rambling thoughts

I just finished watching and I have a few thoughts.

I know there are plenty of people with greater insight than me, but this is just what I have been left with over the course of the past 6 episodes (and the past 10+ years of the main show)

Firstly I want to talk in general about ship baiting. Now, I don't know if it's because I'm too neurodivergent to see anything other than Caryl, but people talk a lot about ship baiting and I just don't see it. Like, at all. There's no connection at all that I can see between Daryl and any other woman he appears on screen with, other than Carol. Whether that was B*th, C*nnie, or Isabelle. Let's not even talk about L*ah because that was just a dumbass mess that doesn't count, but those other three - if anyone can point me towards any moment at all where there was any indication that Daryl had some kind of deeper feeling for them please feel free to point it out, because I genuinely see nothing. Obviously, people are free to ship whatever they want to ship, but as far as baiting it is concerned? No. NR's acting choices shut down any baiting because Daryl absolutely wears his heart on his sleeve, and he is not showing me anything towards those other women.

Secondly, there has been a lot of talk about Daryl being OOC. Again, watching it, I genuinely don't see it. His entire motivation the whole series has been to get back home, and that never wavered. The OOC bit comes from the main series of him walking away from his family, but as in this series it's showing him trying to get back in every single episode, I don't see the OOCness people are talking about. He's still the Daryl we know and love. He cares about people, he's honourable, he does his best to do the right thing. Check, check, and check. Yes, he shouted horribly at Laurent in one scene, but we all have our breaking points, and that kid had just jeopardised not only Daryl getting home, but all of their lives.

Isabelle - I really want her to become walker chow. She manipulated Daryl from the word go, and that would be bad enough, but her saying to Daryl—a man abused by his father—that he was repeating history by trying to return to his actual family? Gtfo. That was manipulative and cruel to the extreme.

Which kinda leads me to the ending. Daryl not getting on the boat. Her cruel manipulation of Daryl isn't his motivation for staying behind - he's still a man of honour after all, and he's not going to let a young boy be eaten by a herd of walkers. You could see the thought of "for fucks sake" in his eyes when Laurent appeared. There's no happiness in him missing the boat, he's not chosen France over his family, he wasn't given an option at all.

I think when Carol gets to France she'll likely team up with Codron to track Daryl down. I can see him holding out as long as possible to not give up The Nest's location, but she'll rescue him and he'll be able to tell Carol where her Pookie is.

I'm sure there was more I wanted to talk about but my ADHD brain has decided to shut down for now, so if I think of more, I'll come back.

But all in all, my excitement is rekindled. Good things are coming for Caryl fans, of that I am certain.

[sevi007]

Tales of the Abyss part 51

Now, let's hear what Van got to say!

Oh Luke...

Alright, I'm afraid part of Luke still has not really grasped that the man he trusted and thought to be his friend never had his well-being in mind. He actually seems to hope he can still TALK about this with Van, which is. Pretty sure already a no-go. Van seems dead-set on whatever, and seems to hold little to no regard for Luke as the "replica".

... I feel like we are not even being taken seriously as potential enemies.

I think that's what the replica's are for...

I could list several other ways on the fly but I'm hearing him out.

Please note, this was NOT going to be on my list XD

*whisper* I forgot who Lorelei is

Saved by Anise

Though now wondering what an "aggregate sentience" is. I will look that up after XD

I will use that reasoning for any and all neurodivergent thing happening to me now.

Can't we just. Forbid the Score. Not read the Score. Destroy the thingy-stones where the Score is on. Etc. Etc.

Soooo, how do I have to imagine that. Is Van and Co going to be only people which are "originals" among an entire population of replicas? Is that it? And again - what is stopping the replicas to just pick up the Score again -

Ah wait! Luke wasn't in the Score, right. So replicas are all not in the Score? I guess? Which would make it obsolete.

But there are still better ways, dammit!

Despite the sheer insanity of the plan, kinda proud that I guessed correctly. Again! I'm good at guessing games! =D

Or the writing is neat and foreshadows things. That, too.

I agree that that's fucked up, but your plan is more fucked up.

You out-fucked-up the entire thing, congratulations, you won.

Huh?

Yeaaaa. So what. Guy was probably a teen back then, and he changed. He grew.

Apparently, you did not.

I am NOT saying Van has no right to his feelings. The entire thing with Hod is fucked up, as I already said when Tear's Grandpa revealed that they always KNEW it would happen and did nothing about it. But Van's way of doing things is sick and just screams that he should have gotten a lot of damn therapy. How is killing the entire population (plus planet, if I look at his plans to replicate entire areas) any better than what they did? How does it trump, say, abolish the Score and Order of Lorelei and start a different way of living?

He is willing to kill his own sister, he said, if she does not see things his way. He is willing to replicate people against their wills, use those replicas, and them kill them without a blink. Man's clearly has lost it as some point. I feel sorry for him, I do. I'm just saying we cannot let him continue, anyway.

And with that - I ran into the picture limit! Yaaaay! XD @ahsokaisawesome @magicmetslogic

[witchlingcirce]

Okay so I’m real bored and I just want to give out some book recommendations by MWAH !!!!!!!

Howls moving castle

Synopsis: Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl's castle. To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there's far more to Howl-and herself-than first meets the eye.

Okay so now obviously everyone knows Howl’s moving castle from the movie (10/10 movie please watch). But honestly the book is so different!! I really feel like the book shines in a different way that the movies does. If you’ve seen the movie than the book is like if the movie versions of these characters do crack. This book was so light and easy, and if your able to get your hands on the audiobook I legit can’t recommend it enough. Howl is such a fun a character, and Sophie is just so silly. This book just remains so consistent and honestly I feel like the writing style almost makes these characters feel alive!!

The ocean at the end of the lane

Synopsis: A middle-aged man returns to his childhood home to attend a funeral. Although the house he lived in is long gone, he is drawn to the farm at the end of the road, where, when he was seven, he encountered a most remarkable girl, Lettie Hempstock, and her mother and grandmother. He hasn't thought of Lettie in decades, and yet as he sits by the pond (a pond that she'd claimed was an ocean) behind the ramshackle old farmhouse, the unremembered past comes flooding back. And it is a past too strange, too frightening, too dangerous to have happened to anyone, let alone a small boy.

This book genuinely is not what I was expecting it to be but nonetheless was so exceptional. If you’re not familiar with Gaimens work, just know that’s a line. He wrote the novels for Good Omens and Coraline, which are both very famous movie/TV shows! The best way I can describe Gaimens work is literally that it’s so British. This book for me was consistently unexpected, in my mind I was like “this is going to happen!” And it didn’t! Not in like a plot-twisty way, in a “I was nottt expecting that”. This book takes an interesting approach on the concept of lost childhood memories. I think it’s a concept you don’t usually see but I feel like the way Gaimen handled it just made it so interesting. I truly felt for the narrator throughout this novel, this poor boy!

This is Amiko, do you copy?

Synopsis: Other people don't seem to understand Amiko. Whether eating curry rice with her hands at school or peeking through the sliding doors at her mother's calligraphy class, her curious, exuberant nature mostly meets with confusion. When her mother falls into a depression and her brother begins spending all his time with a motorcycle gang, Amiko is left increasingly alone to navigate a world where she doesn't quite fit.

AH!! This book was honestly so interesting to read and I highly recommend to anyone who is fond of Fujimoto's 'Goodbye Eri' and 'Look back'. The writing in this book was honestly top TIER. I think writing this book's perspective from a neurodivergent girl's POV in a society that doesn't really accept that is so interesting. Throw it into the context of her dysfunctional family who after a major event kind of fall part and no one is there to help her in some many different aspects of life is really interesting. I think this and the ocean at the end of the lane are the shortest here on this list but I really do recommend. Out of all the books I’ve recommended I will say this is the most depressing, but something about this book is soooo I don’t know how to put it. It’s definitely one of those books that will leave you thinking awhile after you’ve read it. I can stress enough how much of this book is worth to read!! It’s so tragic.

The space between here and now

Synopsis: Perfect for fans of They Both Die at the End and You've Reached Sam, this gripping, atmospheric YA novel follows a teen with a mysterious condition that transports her to the past when she smells certain scents linked to specific memories. Seventeen-year-old Aimee Roh has Sensory Time Warp Syndrome, a rare condition that causes her to time travel to a moment in her life when she smells something linked to that memory. Her dad is convinced she'll simply grow out of it if she tries hard enough, but Aimee's fear of vanishing at random has kept her from living a normal life. When Aimee disappears for nine hours into a memory of her estranged mom--a moment Aimee has never remembered before--she becomes distraught. Not only was this her longest disappearance yet, but the memory doesn't match up with the story of how her mom left--at least, not the version she's always heard from her dad. Desperate for answers, Aimee travels to Korea, where she unravels the mystery of her memories, the truth about her mother, and the reason she keeps returning to certain moments in her life. Along the way, she realizes she'll need to reconcile her past in order to save her present.

The concept of this book is really interesting and is executed in a really fun and new way. I feel like in a lot of 'time travel' books it gets too complicated or it just ends up lacking any sense and at some point stops making sense. This book didn't have that problem; having her 'time travel' be her going back to her memories was such a cool concept, and she executed it so well. I really enjoyed her descriptions of what it feels like to travel, and I'm glad she went into depth with it instead of leaving it up to the imagination. This book also did really well in showing that our main character was a teenager. Something about the way she wrote really made us feel like we were in a teenage girl's head-not in a choppy or bad way where it made you roll your eyes, but in a way that made you able to relate to the character. I also really liked how likable our main character was; it added to the reading experience! Also, I really liked how the main mystery of the plot was resolved; it was really interesting, and honestly, it wasn't expected! And to add onto what I said before, the time travel powers almost feel like they could be the powers of a life is strange protagonist if that makes any sense to anyone.

Immortal longings

Synopsis: Every year, thousands in the kingdom of Talin will flock to its capital twin cities, San-Er, where the palace hosts a set of games. For those confident enough in their ability to jump between bodies, competitors across San-Er fight to the death to win unimaginable riches. Princess Calla Tuoleimi lurks in hiding. Five years ago, a massacre killed her parents and left the palace of Er empty...and she was the one who did it. Before King Kasa's forces in San can catch her, she plans to finish the job and bring down the monarchy. Her reclusive uncle always greets the victor of the games, so if she wins, she gets her opportunity at last to kill him. Enter Anton Makusa, an exiled aristocrat. His childhood love has lain in a coma since they were both ousted from the palace, and he's deep in debt trying to keep her alive. Thankfully, he's one of the best jumpers in the kingdom, flitting from body to body at will. His last chance at saving her is entering the games and winning. Calla finds both an unexpected alliance with Anton and help from King Kasa's adopted son, August, who wants to mend Talin's ills. But the three of them have very different goals, even as Calla and Anton's partnership spirals into something all-consuming. Before the games close, Calla must decide what she's playing for-her lover or her kingdom.

I remember I read this for the book club I was in last year and I am forever grateful. I was a little hesitant going into this book because I genuinely did not really like either these violent delight books. However this book is actually so good. If you’re in a reading slump I highly recommend this novel to get you out. This plot follows genuinely a really interesting concept, and I liked the way body hopping was kind of represented. I also do feel like it’s an interesting play on this kind of hunger games concept. However I will warn you the body hopping powers are confusing but just go along with it. The actual world of this is inspired by an old city in China (which name I have forgotten) but if you compare to what that city looked like and to what’s described in the book Chloe gets it down to a T. The plot twists of these books are genuinely just so much fun. There’s so many little hints scattered around it makes you want you get a bulletin board and put the little lines up. Not to mention the ENDINGG, I was gagged. The sequel is this novel is also coming out later this year as well!

Uhm anyways guys I love reading so much my Spotify told me to stop listening to audiobooks and get a life 😭😭😭 who wants to be my goodreads friend

[sourireofsymphonies]

⟢ ❝ 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞 ❞ - Maya Von Doll

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Ah. What brings you here? Have you perused upon thousands of tags, found this keepsake of my innermost feelings and truths lying there in beneath a pile of dozens of recollections of another's dream or fear? Or have you simply intended to search for a pod of dolphins and stumbled across this blog? Either way, you're welcome here even if you do not intend to stay- or intend to outstay your momentary visit till the end of time, if one chooses to apply such a fickle concept here.

Alright enough with my incessant rambling. My name's Alora and I'm a sophomore who'd probably like-no need a pint of canned motivation right now. Every inch of my soul contains a juxtaposition or so and my personality has been a jumbled amalgamation of paradoxes and foils as of late. I'm neurodivergent and I mainly use she/her though I would neither mind nor care if you used other pronouns with me. My hobbies include acting, reading, drawing and writing mediocre literary pieces. A special emphasis on the last one. I'm also a hellenic and pop culture paganism practitioner so take that as you will. More information about me would be provided below if anyone's curious.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Games: Genshin Impact, HSR, Magia Exedra, CRK, (Most) Love Nikki Games, DUTP, PJSK, Life Makeover, Bandori, DJD4

Interests: Classical Literature, Neoclassicism, The Renaissance and the Enlightenment, Mythology, History, Anthropology, Philosophy, Psychology (Still learning), Theater and Religious Studies

Media: EPIC: The Musical, Heathers, Shakespearean Plays, PJO + sister works, SGE (The school for good and evil), The land of stories, Evillious Chronicles, Winx Club, Regal High, Ever After High, MLP, Harry Potter (Regrettably and I do not condone JK Rowling's Actions), Magical girl shows and Alien Stage, WICKED, Betelgeuse

Current Books I'm reading: N/A though I'll start reading Romance of The Three Kingdoms once my exams are over

BYI: I'm autistic so tone tags would be appreciated. Please do be clear with your boundaries and what you expect of me. I cannot stress the importance of proper communication so if I'm making you feel uncomfortable, please tell me that. Likewise, I can and will confront you quite bluntly if you're crossing my boundaries. I can also be dry at times but it's exam season so clemency would be very much appreciated.

DNI (Do not interact) : Basic DNI criteria + Pro Israel people, Darkshippers, TERFS, Heavily involved in online discourse and people who support trump

Favorite Song: Monster (Yoasobi)

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

[imagine-silk]

This feels VERY ableist hello? Why is everyone babying him. Why are you making it seem like something is wrong with him for being "dumb"? And curie wanting to *study him?* Neurodivergent people aren't CASE STUDIES. And Nick doesn't have to "baby sit" a full grown man, because, shocker, we are not fucking babies 😁 hope this helps

Ah, I've made someone mad.

I'll break this down.

I didn't write this as a neurodivergent character. The ask said 1 INT Nate and compared it to the 1 INT courier so I looked up that for a refresher and low and behold everyone treats the courier like that. People from New Vegas baby and pick on the courier if they have this trait. I didn't write him autistic, I wrote him dumb.

I am neurodivergent and I would have written something very different if the ask was about autism. I've gotten asks that have asked for that so I figured if it specified for the low intelligence from New Vegas I might as well commit to it, even if I myself felt it was a bit mean(I put it in the little note on top of the post). I don't like it when people treat me like that so I get it. I'm gonna assume you haven't seen previous posts I've done where I'm talking about it so there it is. I've yelled at anons for infantalizing autistic people so I get it.

Also I'm just making this as exaggeration entertainment. I kind of want it to be unique and funny but by no means do I think you should treat people like the way some of the characters do. These are characters. This isn't real. It's supposed to be silly and completely non-serious.

And please don't do the passive-aggressive "Hope this helps". I get it but I'm just kind of tired of it. You've got a good heart but you're yelling at the wrong person.