#but it really does remind you of how everything boils down to like... weird religious teachings influencing procreation

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

what is up with people and their pr*gnancy HCs I stg why does everything always have to go there every single time 🙄

[regrettablewritings]

Animatic/Storyboard Music

Got bored/procrastinate-y on coloring in this ultra intricate card for my mom. So I’m just gonna make a list of songs I think make for good animatic material. Because why not/I wanna foist my musical tastes on people/ @locke-writes got me in a music binge. For the most part, it’s just gonna be me explaining the meanings or the vibe or what they generally tend to be used for, but really it’s mostly subjective so imaginate whatchu wanna.

“Trust Me” - The Devil’s Carnival Originally depicting a story about the Scorpion and the Frog, it’s the perfect song for when you want to depict the dynamic between a gullible or at the very least more grounded character and a figure whose intentions . . . may be less than pure. Or good for anyone, really.

“The Dismemberment Song” - The Blue Kid I have a playlist dedicated to songs whose content and sound are just . . . not married to one another, but got a weird flirtationship situation going on. Anyway, I’ve seen people say that they like to imagine it’s sung through the POV of a scorned housewife who’s finally Had Enough™️. And . . . They’re really not wrong for it. Really, though, it’s just the right song for when a sadist is just ready to gut a fucker but is disturbingly jolly about it.

“Love Me Dead” - Ludo Continuing with my trend of songs about people in less than ideal situations, “Love Me Dead” is straight to the point: The relationship is just awful and the guy gets nothing from it, but he can’t help but be hopelessly in a state of adoration for the woman he’s latched on to (“You’re born of a jackal! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!!”)

“Constellations” - The Oh Hellos There actually isn’t a plot to this song, it just feels really good (as all songs by The Oh Hellos are prone to be). However, if you feel a need to portray the concept of having to reorganize your thoughts after realizing that maybe they weren’t what you initially thought, and then coming to the conclusion that even though everything changes as a result, you’ll be alright? This is the song for you.

“A Kindling of Sorts” - The Oh Hellos An instrumental piece that is like . . . It’s related to another song of theirs about nationalism called “Torches”, so make of that what you will. (I personally have been using it to imagine storyboarding an opening for an animated The Witcher series.)

“The Other Side” - The Greatest Showman I know everyone and their mom has used this to portray situations like villains trying to get good guys to join their side. But I dun curr, it’s a fun song. That, and I like what Emilyamio did with her interpretation. It’s fun. For a basic rundown, know it’s another song about two characters’ dynamics being explored, with one coming to the other with a proposal that they join them in whatever endeavors they have in store. It’s often portrayed as something evil, but it really doesn’t have to be, as the original context was more about letting loose than anything.

“The Thief and the Moon” - Shawn James A much more mellow piece. Simple and straight to the point: A thief tells the Moon that he plans on stealing her light to shade the world in darkness. The Moon insists that the thief would only doom the world by doing so, to which the thief clarifies that he doesn’t care; if the world is shrouded in shadow, it means he will be able to steal with more ease (“My very existence is a race to attain wealth”). Disgusted, the Moon essentially curses the man with a warning that his greed can and will bring about his end -- and leave him to be forgotten by the rest of mankind, once it happens.

“Villainous Thing” - Shayfer James I’ve seen people say that this song is about singing to a cadaver but I can’t quite find anything confirming that (translation: I’m too lazy to look too into it). Regardless, it’s a fun ditty that yet again portrays someone with less than pure intentions encouraging someone to join him in some good old fashion villainy, as they’ve clearly endured their fair share of hardships and surely wanted to do evil anyway (“You’ll find no ever after here, it’s clear that isn’t what you came for“).

“Necromancin Dancin” - Bear Ghost Straight forward and fun as fuck: A necromancer apparently seems to cross classes and try his hand at barding by not only raising an army of the dead, but by also making them dance in order to make conquering the world easier. Because . . . a body doing Disco Duck isn’t scary, I guess.

"Aquaman” - Walk the Moon A song about one half of a couple wanting to become more involved in their relationship, but still having some nervousness about doing so. If you somehow haven’t heard this song yet, you gotta because it’s the cutest shit.

“Jenny’s Tale” - Ren I’ll be brutally honest, it’s about a woman named Jenny who just wants to get home after a long day of work and an unfortunate encounter with a 14 year old named Screech who gets way in over his head. As in, like, a death happens. That being said, I need. Like. An animated music video of this song. I imagine this shit in gritty charcoal or painted on glass, it just needs this. Somebody who isn’t me who knows what they’re doing, please look into this.

“The Curse of the Fold” - Shawn James As cheesy as it sounds, it basically boils down to not giving up or yielding. But what makes it so cool is the fact that Shawn James makes all his songs basically sound like a western gothic soundtrack. Which helps, because he admits that the title is also a reference to poker, in which giving up too often or too easily can often rob you of a delicious reward gained through perseverance and sacrifice.

“Thank God I’m Not You” - Himalayas I prefer to imagine this for an arrogant asshole of a character. Because that’s exactly what this song is about: They’re a liar and a thief, they’ve been called the son of Satan, and yet they consider themselves lucky -- ‘cause at least they ain’t you! If you have a character in mind who’s a delightful, punchable little shit, this is probably either their anthem or at least on the playlist you inevitably made for them.

"Passerine" - The Oh Hellos So there’s a common trend in The Oh Hellos’ discography that tends to explore the two founders’ experiences with faith and their growth in how they understand it or recognize it. With “Passerine”, the concept being explored is the experience they had when it came to taking a step back and realizing just how many of their supposed “fellow Christians” were actually doing some rather unchristian things, so to speak. When they “prune[d] their feathers”, it became clear that they had less in common with certain people proclaiming to be Christian while also spouting bigotry and greed. However, the desire to move away from such influences comes with the feeling of being torn, as moving too far away from the Bible leaves the singer feeling as though she is betraying something she holds dear. As a result, “Passerine” symbolizes not a breakage from faith, but a breakage from blind faith as they understood it, and the inevitable feeling of being torn that comes along with expanding upon how one views their beliefs and those around them. It’s therefore not uncommon to see Good Omens animatics using this song. (Something I also noticed is that throughout the song, you hear pieces of “Constellations”. TOH have a tendency to reference previous pieces, and considering “Constellations” is a song about changing perspective and the meanings we apply to them, it fits in beautifully with a song about reevaluating one’s stance.)

“Like the Dawn” - The Oh Hellos As stated before, a lot of TOH’s discography draws inspiration from their faith. In this case, it’s an outright retelling of the Garden of Eden, specifically when Adam awoke to find Eve had been created. What makes this iteration stand out to most, however, is that the singer is female, which seems to change the vibe you get. It sweetens the feeling of wonder we often forget the first man might’ve felt upon seeing somebody made for him, creating an air of beauty yet comfort with such lines as “And like the dawn, you broke the dark and my whole earth shook” or “You were the brightest shade of sun I had ever seen.” Even without the awareness or an interest in religious influences, it still manages to be a very feel-good song -- which is the mark of an overall good song in general!

“Confession” - RED Dealing with the constant battle of feeling ashamed that how you feel on the inside isn’t in sync with how you present yourself on the outside. That you should feel bad for smiling out at the world while screaming and thrashing -- like it’s a lie. But you can’t help it: It’s what you’re accustomed to. Though it does end on a hopeful note with the singer deciding that they want to reach out for help and rid themselves of this feeling of pain they have inside.

“When I Grow Up” - Matilda . . . Only if you want to cry. Seriously. When you’re a kid, everything seems difficult but you’re positive that once you grow up, everything will change: You’ll be tall enough to climb the trees you were too small to, you’ll be able to carry everything because you’re stronger, you’ll be brave enough to fight the monsters hiding in your room, you’ll finally have all the answers. . . . But life isn’t that simple. We wish it were, but it isn’t. There’s this bittersweetness about this song, about a sense of purity we unfortunately grow out of where we think things will be just the same enough for us to do what we want when we want, but things are more complicated than that. We still struggle to reach, to bear the weight, to not be afraid, to have even a fraction of the answers. But! We’re reminded that just because we’re told life isn’t fair, doesn’t mean we have to take it. After all, nothing changes when nothing happens. And even beyond that? It helps to remember that we’re never quite done growing up; there’s always more to learn, so remember to be patient with yourself.

“Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!” - Will Wood and the Tapeworms This is . . . a song. The lyrics are honestly kinda all over the place and shooting rapid fire, making it a bit difficult to discern what exactly the singer is going on about. It makes for a pretty crazy song that suggests somebody’s going unhinged, which is apparently precisely the intention?? I’ve seen a lot of people interpret this as a song about a guy who is already at a low point in his life but nonetheless is going, “. . . I bet I can go deeper. Hand me my shovel.”

“No Reason” - Beetlejuice God if i had a youtube channel the segment i would spend on this song would be so juicy just ripe and thicc with thoughts and feelings i tell ya rich like a fresh fatty peach the apple that tempted Eve and gagged Adam yes ‘Nother song that explores the dynamic between two differing people and their worldviews. At its simplest, “No Reason” is about two opposite ends of a spectrum coming to a head: Idealistic and hippie-dippy Delia is convinced that everything happens for a reason, while cynical and depressed Lydia asserts that everything happens at random and it doesn’t matter anyway because we’re all going to die. And even though the delivery is ultimately a comedic one, you get more insight as to why one another feels the way that they do: Lydia, as we’ve previously learned, has recently lost her mother to an illness, which has left her depressed and feeling invisible (a theme in the show); whereas Delia’s failed marriage and desperate attempts to nonetheless be happy have left her dependent on the idea that these things had to have happened for a reason, otherwise, her pain would’ve been for nothing. What’s important is that neither side is actually appointed as the winner, with the song ultimately ending that the universe is random for a reason.

“Barbara 2.0″ - Beetlejuice Without spoiling anything (or at least too much), “Barbara 2.0″ is about growth. It’s about learning to put your foot down after a literal lifetime of being passive out of fear of what might happen and just accepting that nothing will happen if nothing happens -- but that doesn’t make whatever happens good.

“Bleed Magic” - IDHKBTFM It’s either about a killer or a vampire. No, seriously: When Dallon Weekes was asked about what the story of the song was, that was his answer. I personally prefer to think of it as a vampire or demon of some kind, given that the song came out around Halloween. Perfect for yet another example of somebody (likely supernatural) having an upper hand on an unsuspecting mortal. ...I have way too many of these on this list, I swear I don’t have a problem —

“Feel Good Drag” - Anberlin A toxic relationship of sorts. In that it shouldn’t be a relationship to begin with. Depicts the singer being approached by an ex, who seeks a one-night stand while her current boyfriend is out of town. However, the singer is aware that trying to continue anything regardless of the situation is a moot point: Even when they were together, their relationship was doomed from the start, and nothing about that is going to change -- especially now.

“Soviet Trumpeter” - Katzenjammer (It’s kinda difficult to work with this one but I’ve seen people work with less or stranger.) Based off the life of one Eddie Rosner, a Jewish Polish trumpeter whose fame within the USSR unfortunately faded due to the Soviet Union’s heavy censorship. Even if nothing is to be done with it, it still paints a melancholic picture of a talented man’s skills being largely unknown as a result of things beyond his control. All wrapped up in a song that denotes a strange deterioration in a way I can’t quite place.

“Apple Blossom” - The White Stripes On its face, it’s a very sweet song: The singer encourages his beloved to be vulnerable enough with him to tell him her troubles and to let him “sort them out for [her]”. She’s clearly saddened, and seeing so distresses him to where he insists that he will do whatever he can to make her happy. However, the tone of the song and certain lines make it easy to twist into yet another song of a character attempting to seduce somebody into a state of vulnerability . . .

“You’ve Got Possibilities” - It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman The one singular song people actually liked from this forgotten musical. Perfect for when somebody intends on giving somebody else a makeover. Y’know, after totally roasting them on their posture and clothing. If you want to add a lil something extra, know that the context is that a lady wants to give Clark Kent a makeover, insisting that in spite of his schlubby appearance, there’s gotta be something underneath. I repeat: She is telling this to Clark freaking Kent.

 “Still” - Anastasia In the context, the show’s antagonist (not bad guy, there’s a difference) finds himself torn between obligation and personal interest: Does he fulfill his duty and live up to expectations set upon him by his father and the society he’s been selected to help uphold? Or does he let a woman he has become fond of go? Is she truly as innocent as she claims? Or is she well aware of what she’s doing? And every time he thinks he’s reached a conclusion, he can’t help but thing, “But still . . .” Good for when you want to portray a character conflicted between obligations of politics and what their heart wants.

“Two Nobodies in New York” - [title of show] Two young men plan on entering an upcoming theatrical festival but struggle with what to even submit. This song in particular focuses on them trying to figure out what to even write, the concept of fame, and if wanting the certain things that may come with fame can mean anything from being sell-outs to getting a sitcom. It’s admittedly specific, but it’s a cute and funny interaction between two guys who are, for the most part, actually in sync with their thoughts and anxieties. For the time being.

“Into the Unknown” - Idina Menzel Look, I refuse to watch that movie. I just do. But I will take this song over That Other One any day. Mostly because I personally like to imagine that the singer in this song is about to embark on a Pixaresque journey after accidentally leaving her home during the night of The Wild Hunt, accidentally separating her spirit from her body and thus giving her a very limited time to get back to it before she remains a soul trapped in a whirlwind of ghosts forever. But first: Let’s sing about that strange howling that coaxes her so.

“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” - The Offspring I sure do long songs that can characterize a shithead . . . Anywho! The smoothest way to go is just to portray some cocky, manipulative shit who’s used to just lying and cheating their way to get what they want before slipping away without any consequences -- to a point. There’s the option of portraying the betrayer’s comeuppance, but there’s also the frustratingly delicious option of just letting them get away with whatever to lie another day.

“Why Should I Worry” - Billy Joel When in doubt, go to earlier Disney. Because like it or not, they had some bops. And when in the need of portraying a happy-go-lucky (probably idiotic) doofus and his more neurotic or cynical friend going about their life with the former just Mr. Magooing it while the latter suffers more realistic consequences? You go with this song. If you want. That’s just me.

“Transformation” - Brother Bear For when you want to invoke a mystical or otherworldly feeling. There’s really not much more I can say except to encourage you to listen to it and watch the scene if you can find it. You’ll get the vibe.

“No Girl’s Toy” - Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure It’s a big shame this movie is relatively unknown and never got a proper VHS release or anything -- mainly because the music in this cult classic is definitely stuff I could see becoming standards. I could see people performing “I Never Get Enough” for little shows, or recycling “Blue” for a different show. Thankfully, somebody was able to upload a clear enough sounding recording of “No Girl’s Toy”, so at least we have that. In context (just...follow me on this), Raggedy Ann’s brother, Raggedy Andy, has had enough of being subjected to “girly things” while in the nursery. Additionally, though, the way the song was written means it can also be interpreted as just a guy who refuses to let himself be yanked around regardless of how thick the sugar being laid on him is. . . . If you wanna poke fun as a character for trying to appear tougher than what he is, here’s the song. (That being said, Andy is a sweetheart at the end of the day. No amount of tough-fronting will hide that.)

“I Enjoy Being a Girl” - Flower Drum Song (It is by sheer coincidence that this song follows the above.) Really, it’s exactly what it says on the tin: The singer enjoys being a girl and what all it entails for her. She loves her feminine form, she loves the attention she gets, she loves dolling herself up, she loves frilly dresses, and she hopes to one day marry a guy who enjoys “having a girl like [her].” And honestly? Good on her! Love whatcha love, lovely! Seriously, though, it’s a cute song for anyone who just wants to indulge in some girliness.

“Chip on My Shoulder” - Legally Blonde Come on: It’s Legally Blonde. You know what this bop is, or at least have an idea of it. But since I love this song, I’ll indulge: Disheartened by her failure to both win back her ex and succeed in the fast-paced environment of Harvard, the normally bright-eyed Elle is ready to call it quits. That is, until junior partner Emmett gets involved. Unimpressed by her story, Emmett reveals that he got to where he was by busting his ass due to having a chip on his shoulder from his rough beginnings — and maybe a chip on the shoulder is exactly what Elle needs to survive. And as somebody driven by spite, I can appreciate that kind of message. Anywho, it all in all is a song about growth and learning how to be “driven as hell” to keep up with an opportunity that may not be easy to take, but is not one to be passed by.

“What Do I Need with Love?” - Thoroughly Modern Millie “What Do I Need with Love?” asks exactly that: He could date a different girl every night of the week if he so wanted, and never once had any desire to go steady before. He considers himself lucky to have never fallen for anyone -- until now. Which he’s not! He’s not in love. ...He totally is and, by his own admission, he’s got it bad it’s terribly adorable.

“Interlude IV” - Zach Callison The entire album is actually a narrative about a failed relationship of Callison’s and I’m sure the other songs are just as great fuel for animatics -- I’m just too caught up on listening to this one over and over. Sometimes, we just wanna listen to Steven Universe cuss and be openly furious. Seriously, though, even without the context of the rest of the story, you get the idea well enough: A spiteful Zach decides to get back at the one that broke his heart in such a painful way, whereas a well-meaning friend insists they just leave it be and move on. While this technically would be the better and healthier option, Zach is just too far gone with rage to let it go and decides to take care of things by himself.

“Evermore” - Beauty & the Beast Look, I know the remake wasn’t anything crazy. But also I don’t honestly care too terribly much. Besides, this song was nice and it really gets me after that key change. We all want a royal doofus to be enamored enough with us to let us go for our own happiness but still know that their life will forever be changed because they met us. Animate that shit. Over and over.

goddamn this list is long lemme just stop this now byyyyeeeee

[mariahthelioness29]

Differences

pairing: Sam x Bucky 

words: 3.5k (how did I write this ?, I don’t know) 

Warning; pinning, fluff, a smidge of smut, cursing (a little), alcohol consumption and 2 idiots in love, slow burn

A look of Sam and Bucky in New Orleans, A party, and maybe feelings being resolved. A conclusion (I guess) of No Plan and Going Back. 

I was listening to Differences by Ginuwine and the tracks that follow on Youtube and I got inspired. 

A special THANK YOU to @avintagekiss24​ and @siancore​. Your comments, suggestions are gold to me. I am so grateful.

@siancore​ @xbuchananbarnes​ @avintagekiss24​ @helahades​  @euh-say-what-now​ @here-for-your-bullshit​ @rasberrylemon​ @blackmissfrizzle​ @sapphirescrolls​ @babiiface95​ @27dis​ @captainsamwlsn​

Face claim for new characters:

Nelsan Ellis- Lafayette

Rutina Wesley-Leyla 

Miroslava Morales-Miriam

Mood board for the party:

The humidity and the temperature were unbearable. Today is his no-shirt- shorts on-day. It is so hot, that his insecurities about his scars are taking a day off.

It is so peaceful, he does not want to think about the mission they just had. Missions are always blocked from his mind. They are a heat in the moment thing. He thanks his mind for blocking them, otherwise he will be a nervous wreck.

This heat reminds him of Wakanda. That paradise on earth. He goes through his bag and takes a colorful notebook with patterns. His photo album.

Looking at the polaroid pictures of him in Wakanda. Shuri had some vintage items. She loves polaroid’s pictures so she gifted him a Polaroid camera.

One of him and Shuri in the lab.

One of him with the village kids and the goats.

G’cobisa, Tabo, Tinashe, Buhle, Khanyiswa, Kholiwe, M’tobheli, Anathi, Bonghani, Fikile Gugulethu. Those children are angels on Earth. Bucky ‘s not religious but whoever is up there, be it Bast or Jesus, he will ask them this:

“Please take care of those children, the people of Wakanda, allow them to be happy and let nothing bad happen to them”

Sam, I wish I had the courage to tell you how I feel, I really love you and I want you so bad, he thought while remembering last night's dream. He bites his lip and sighs.

Last night dream and his early-morning wood were: Sam giving him a show, having the best sex ever all while he takes pictures of him with the polaroid. Him going down on Sam, while Sam records him.

“FUUUUCK !!” Sam groaned.

“Keep goin’ like that, you’re so good at that, look at me baby boy”, he said out of breath in between moans, grabbing his hair with one hand. He looks up to him, teary eyed. Sam was recording him.

He shakes those thoughts away with a chill on his spine. He does not want to go to eat with a tent on his pants so he focuses on the other pictures.

One of the rivers and one of Birnin Zana. The Royal Palace. The market. Him eating at the market. Him drinking a gallon of milk cause his mouth was on fire due to the hot sauce on his food. That hot sauce is a torture device.

One of him in all white fur, when he was in Jabari Tribe land as Shuri and T’challa’s bodyguard.

When the days were like this pure sun and barely wind, he just bathed in the river for hours. He stayed under the trees and the kids playing with his hair. He was the children's favorite pastime. Asked him all types of questions. Used him as a biology example, for the older children, when they needed to take their biology exams about genetics. As a doll, the village children and teenagers were always experimenting on his hair. They quickly realized that his hair could not withstand some of their hair-dos.  He looks at the picture of him with Bantu knots and the other with braids in rows. He guffawed with tears in his eyes.  

He remembers the Bantu knots fiasco. How hard the kid’s moms needed to detangle his hair with all types of combs and products, because the children literally caked his hair so that the knots stayed intact. He stayed with the knots because it was refreshing not having his hair loose during that heat wave until wash time arrived. It became a nightmare. Their moms taught them that Bucky’s hair is not apt for African hairstyles. The kids learned their lesson and did hairstyles that were suitable for his hair.

He was looking through the pictures until he saw his old pictures of him in the 40s. Those pictures were always weird to see . He fixated on those pictures till they became a little blurry. He closes the album

He wanted the confidence of James Buchanan Barnes. The Barnes that would steal girl’s and guy’s breath away. The same Barnes that rocked Steve’s world after they left that bar but he knew he and Steve  could never be. He chose Peggy. He does not blame him in the slightest. It was the best way. What they were was a crime back then. He and Steve could’ve end up in a psych ward or with sodomy and indecency charges and dishonorably discharged from the military. He probably would’ve settled with a woman he loved too. Living satisfied but within a lie. Hiding half of himself. Would that have been a better life than the Hydra ordeal he went through? Who knows?

One thing he is sure of is that he will be proud and loud to be Sam’s man. He will live his truth. He got a second chance so he will not waste it. Anyone who does not like it, can get fucked.

He went out of his room and went to the dining room.

“Morning”, he said.

“Morning”, Sam and Sarah answered in unison.

Sam and Sarah were busy in the kitchen.

Bucky inhales the various smells coming from the kitchen, his mouth waters.

“How did you sleep?”, Sam asked

“Like a baby”, Bucky answered him with a smile.

Sam looked at him impressed and responded: “that’s wonderful, nightmares are appearing less”.

“Yeah, they are appearing less'',Bucky answered trying not to wander to last night’s dream.“Hey guys, can I help with preparing the food?”, Bucky asked. He always wants to be of service.

“Buck, no offence, but you are a white man raised in the Depression era, I don’t trust you with the kitchen but you can set the table though”, Sam answered.  Bucky rolled his eyes at that.

Sarah was pressing her lips together to stifle a laugh.

He lifted his hands in surrender and answered: “Alright, I set the table”.

Sam pointed where the kitchenware and plates were. Bucky began to set the table.

Sarah looked at Sam with wide eyes and they both looked at Bucky up and down discreetly.  Bucky was shirtless and with shorts. His shorts hang low. His v-line was showing. His abs all out and that vibranium arm shining a little.

Breakfast was a quiet thing, with Bucky’s story here and there about Depression era food and how they used to boil everything. Sam & Sarah gagged at the thought of boiling everything. Bucky laughed at them.

Bucky offered to wash the dishes. After washing the dishes, Bucky said he was going to meditate and do breathing exercises outside.

After they checked that Bucky was far enough that he could not hear their conversation.

Sarah exclaimed: “WHEW, CHILE!!”

“pipe the fuck down”, Sam whisper yelled. “He is a super soldier, he has enhanced hearing!”, Sam whispered with worry

“No wonder why you got the hots for him, shiiiiiiit if you don’t tap that ass, I will ‘cause HOT Damn,” Sarah answered in a lower voice. “He might be the first white man to get this work”.

Sam glared at her and frowned at her with a faux offence.

“Were you not with Ricardo, Ricardo was white?” Sam inquires

Sarah scoffs. “Boy Ricardo was Latino. I mean he white. But not WHITE, you know what I mean”.

Sam shoved her gently and said, “Not you, wanting my future man. Get your own shit why you riding mine”. They both snickered and had Cheshire cat grins.

“Hey, but seriously, when are you going to tell him how you feel?” Sarah asked softly, putting her hand on top of Sam’s.

Sam sucked in a breath and exhaled, dropping his head down. Sarah’s heart softens, looking at her brother.

“It is hard Sarah; I want to but what if he is repulsed by that. I know Steve and him used to be something. But there is the chance, he does not like Black guys for that. He is still a 40s guy, so I am weary.”, Sam answered. Sarah cocked her head and nodded in understanding.

“The guy was literally tortured and brainwashed for decades. He is now getting to live his second chance at a normal life. I don’t want to put more weight on him because I really, really like him a whole fucking lot.” Sam continued with a defeated tone.

“Sammy, wake your ass up, that man looks at your ugly ass mug like you hung the moon”, Sarah said with confidence. “He likes you too and a lot, just explore that feeling and let it be one step at the time”. Sarah offered. “You don’t have to marry his ass. Just give him support, like you are doing but extend that support more on the physical side of it. God knows when was the last time, you and that man were laid”. Sarah laughed and ran away from the kitchen before Sam pushed her.

Sam chuckled in disbelief at what Sarah said.

It could all be so simple, then why is it so difficult.

He has always had this predicament when it came to liking men. He is who he is.  After years of hiding his sexuality in the military, it cost him to shake that state of being. He sighs and thinks of what getting with Bucky can mean to him as a man but also as Captain America.

Since the Accords fiasco, the Captain America mantle depends a whole lot about public perception.

He can hear Fox News, already. #handtheshieldback. That was a real hashtag and it could be revived this time by him being more openly Bi. Second, not only just being with a man, but THEE world’s deadliest ex-assassin and longest POW in US history. Bucky will get outed. Then Bucky will get dragged. Though Bucky has always said he doesn’t care about the views of the people, they can all get fucked (Bucky’s words). He saves lives and calls it a day.

As a man, he would be over the moon to have Bucky as his man, however he is still weary. Interracial relationships are hard. Imagine it now with a person from the Silent Generation, whew.

“Chile, I can hear the gears grinding from across the room”, Gideon disrupts his thoughts as he sits next to him on the couch.  

“You thinking about the white boy, aren’t you?”, Gideon asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“UGHHH STOP IT”, Sam exclaimed, putting his hand on his face. “Where he at?”, Sam asked, scared that Bucky might hear.

“Chill, he outside with Sarah, Miriam and the kids”, Gideon responded. “You know what you need? A nice party with the fam and friends, some BBQ, some booze and music”.

“Hell no, I am in no party mood”, Sam responded exasperated  while laying on the couch.  

“Well too late, Sarah, Miriam and I have already made the list and we are going to go shopping, food, snacks and booze for normal folks”, Gideon responded with a Cheshire grin. “Don’t worry, I got our homeboy covered, aged Absinthe, special brewed Moonshine, Asgardian mead, y’ know, some liquid courage so that he can finally tell you how he feels and put you out of your misery”, Gideon said while rubbing his hands together.

Sam rolled his eyes and kicked Gideon. Gideon laughed at that.

Gideon stood up from the couch and went to the table, where there was a box on top. “I’m serious, I already went to the Asgardian shop for some Asgardian unleaded and some booze”. Gideon shows him the box with fancy bottles filled with an Amber liquid, fluorescent green liquid, and the other with a clear liquid.  

“Asgardian shop? Asgardians in Nola?”, Sam questioned.

“Yeah, he met Aaliyah, married her, came to live here, and put an Asgardian liquor store, ain’t that some shit”, Gideon responded.  Sam's eyes blinked in surprise at knowing Aaliyah is married, not only that but with an Asgardian. Aaliyah was Gideon’s high school sweetheart and Gideon’s heaviest heartbreak when they split because they went to different colleges. 

“See? You are thinking too hard. If ol’ girl is married with literally an alien and they fine what about you with the metal armed white boy, ya’ll gonna be okay, ai’ght”, Gideon pats Sam’s shoulder with force.

Sam smiles at his brother, “you’re right, if he will not tell me how he feels, I will.”

“That’s what the fuck I’m talkin ’bout, my brother ain’t no punk”.

It turns out that Gideon was right. What he needed was a party.

He was greeting everyone; he was the life of the party. He was dapping everyone, hugging everyone.

Sam was feeling himself with his white tank top and yellow open up shirt with white shorts. Cuban cigar on his lips and Hennessey on his hand. He took the cigar off his lips and began to sing out loud;” It’s getting’ hot in here (So hot) so take off all your clothes, I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off”. He was dancing with a woman in a suggestive manner. The woman was grinding her ass against his crotch to the rhythm of the music. They were gyrating their hips in sync with each other and the music. Sam turned the woman around and talked to her ear. He was smiling. They look at each other briefly. Bucky lifts his drink up at him with a forced smile. Sam and Leyla decided to dance like this, since he saw Bucky getting cozy with Lafayette after playing domino, when Bucky won a couple of times. Needless to say, Sam’s mood sours after seeing that so he asks Leyla to dance with him to make Bucky jealous, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Bucky was wearing tight black jeans and a blue Henley, hair in a half up and half down hair do, feeling uneasy to say the least, nursing a shot of aged absinthe.

He was feeling a myriad of emotions. He did not know if he wanted to be the girl so he can cop a feel of Sam or be Sam so that he can cop a feel of a woman. Either way it has been so long since he felt someone’s skin against his.  He thinks about having Sam that close in the privacy of his room. Moving into him like he is moving with that woman. There was a feeling eating him piece by piece. If it was a man, he'd definitely use his Winter Soldier face to scare him off. He realizes it is jealousy, he is jealous. He just stares at the tree next to them till it blurs along with the image of Sam and the woman he is dancing with. He feels his heart tight against his chest.

“You think is working?”, Sam whispered to Leyla, his high school friend

“Oh, yes, it is, the man a wreck, he was boring holes into us”, Leyla laughed and put her arms around his neck. “Believe me, you will have him in your hand, he needs to get a preview of what he is missing, otherwise he will never tell you how he feels.’ Leyla turned around and put her hands on his knees. They were about to give Bucky a heart attack with the next song.

Bucky got up and went to the table with all the liquor, wanting more absinthe.

He saw everybody rushed to the center of the makeshift dance space, as violins began to play. Bucky was confused and he concluded that the song must be quite popular.

Gideon was the DJ, he screamed: “Cash Money Records, taking over for the 99 and the 2000!!!”

Everyone either cheered or repeated that sentence in response, Bucky turned to see Sam and his eyes could not believe what he was seeing.

The woman was bent over wiggling her ass rapidly against Sam to the beat of the music. Sarah was doing the same to a guy.

He did not understand the dance or the music. He asks the Kimoyo beads to tell him what this music and this dancing are about.  The beads started explaining  what twerking was: “ twerking is a type of dance that came out of the bounce music scene of New Orleans. It originated in the 1980s. Individually-performed, chiefly but not exclusively by women, dancers move by throwing or thrusting their hips back or shaking their buttocks, often in a low squatting stance. Twerking is part of a larger set of characteristic moves that were unique to the New Orleans style of hip-hop known as "bounce". This dance move has roots in African culture and has spread to all scenes of hip-hop, current popular music and in Latin American music such as reggaetón. This is what you are seeing and hearing, Bucky”.

“God, I am such an old man”, he contemplated in defeat.

He could never be this jovial, he feels like he would hold Sam down.  In order to drown his jealousy, he began to drink that Asgardian mead, mixed with the absinthe like it was water.

He was feeling a little better with the alcohol in his system. It is refreshing to have the buzz of alcohol in him for the first time in 70 years.

He started to sway to the rhythm of the music too not knowing how to dance but he likes the music. The violins and piano remind him a little of the music back then.  

“I like this song”, “What is the name of the song and the genre?” he said to the beads.

“You don’t need to ask the beads”, he hears Sam’s voice.

Bucky stopped the bead’s explanation. Bucky chuckled at the sound of Sam’s voice and turned around.

“Who was I supposed to ask? You practically ditched me after dominos and spades” Bucky responded.

“Well, you could’ve asked your lil’ new friend Lafayette”. Where he at by the way?” Sam asked with a taunting tone looking around.

“You were pretty boo’d up with him”, Sam responded with a mean glint in his eyes.

Bucky smirked at him and said; “Ditch me too after I told him, I was interested in someone else”, looking at him while drinking the special brewed Moonshine.

“But turns out the person I like has someone to be “cozy “with, I guess.” Bucky said, while getting into Sam’s space and tracing his finger on Sam's shirt. “He even got a dance on him called ``twerk'', by the way I had to ask the beads what that was.”, Bucky responded a little hurt.

Sam’s breath hitched, feeling Bucky that close.

“So, I think, I need to mingle more, see you around Sam”, Bucky said while stepping out of Sam's space.  

He needs to act, and fast. 

Before Bucky could go, Sam grabbed Bucky’s forearm harshly and brought Bucky up to him. They look at each other with defiance for what seem ages. He then tilted his head and his lips were ghosting over Bucky.

You make the first move, I won’t, Bucky thought with Sam’s lips ghosting over his.

Sam gives him a bruising kiss.

Bucky was not prepared for that; he found support by putting his hands on his forearms. He matched Sam’s pace and brought Sam closer.

He feels so good, his lips feel so nice, Bucky thought while kissing Sam with force, all tongue.

After that kiss, they both needed to take a breath. He can see Sam not looking at him.

“Hey, let’s not”, Bucky said sternly while tilting Sam’s face up with delicacy. “If you want to regret something do it in the morning, not tonight, please”. Bucky whispered.

“I regret nothing”, Sam stated.

“That’s the spirit”, Bucky said, caressing Sam’s face, smiling and blushing.

“Ayee, this is one of my favorites, dance with me”, Sam said, taking Bucky’s hand in his and began walking with him to the dance space.

They saw Gideon and his wife, Miriam kissing and dancing to the song. Sarah and the guy she was twerking on earlier, also swayed with the song.

The song was pretty, light. They did not need to talk cause the song was doing all the talking.

“My whole life has changed

Since you came in, I knew back then

You were that special one

I'm so in love, so deep in love

You made my life complete

You are so sweet, no one competes

Glad you came into my life

You blind me with your love

With you I have no sight”, boomed through to speakers.

Sam and Bucky swayed to the rhythm, pressed against each other, Sam’s head resting against Bucky’s shoulder, both of their eyes closed savoring the moment.

They were surrounded by other couples dancing.

But no one else matters, only them exist.

Bucky’s eyes open for a moment. He saw Leyla and Lafayette lifting their glasses at him and smiling, nodding in support, then clicking their glasses together. He smiles at them back and closes his eyes continuing to savor the moment.

“They have a lot to go through if they want a relationship, but he will learn and go through it cause it is not only about him, it is about Sam and him.” Bucky contemplated. That does not matter right now, he feels fulfilled, at peace hugging Sam like this. 

Sam is still weary about how they can bond. They are such different people with different experiences, but that does not matter right now. He feels loved and protected with the way Bucky’s warmth is enveloping him.

[bledmagic]

**the following is no way indicative of direct rp interactions & is solely referring to the personal canon to idrylla. if your muse wants to refer to the closeness of one of the companions listed here by all means, unless you are holding another rper muse in mind as that connection is different & not based upon these by the interactions idrylla & that muse has had. however if you would like to base interactions on these descriptions with your muse def lemme kno & we can plot on this further !

idrylla is not the only focus of the story, they are one of many that line the cast of our main tale & the interactions between idrylla & these characters drive the story forward or back. as the game still rests within the area of early access & there are hints from datamining of future companions this list is not complete nor is it going to contain anything proper beyond act 1 in terms of connections. with the previous statement said, here is each of our companions & the relationships held with idrylla as per the canon to their character & me. **i will note if i have romanced a npc like this, as the game is in early access n just like in who’s line is it anyway the choices n points dont matter there is no canon romance for idrylla at this moment in time. 

LAE’ZEL: idrylla has very few memories of the nautilus. their capture, their containment, & the escape itself is somewhat of a blurry mess. what they do remember is lae’zel. they remember her face, her struggling, her escaping that pod. they saw the moment the mind flayer infected lae’zel & the fear held within the githyanki’s features. all of this is unspoken between the two, but for idrylla it’s spurned a lot of emotions that have boiled down to pushing idrylla to get close to lae’zel & be quite defensive of her with strangers( shadowheart can make a few insults as a treat, lae’zel in return can make some serious threats in return as a treat ). it is with the first weeks of travel idrylla can be found hanging out along side lae’zel like a safety net, finding the familiarity of their escape as a bridge to base a friendship upon. despite that link that idrylla has tied between them they find lae’zel absolutely delightful in every way possible & considers lae’zel probably the closest friend idrylla has had in years, the honesty lae’zel shows in the most blunt way a refreshing change from the passive aggressiveness of the wizards guild peers. beyond all this, lae’zel is also the first githyanki has ever known & has prodded the poor warrior with a multitude of questions to absorb the info like a weird elf sponge, even going out of their way to learn on their own & ask lae’zel about later on. idrylla holds lae’zel’s opinon in high regard & often will ask her or look to her for her advice & even if not followed takes it in consideration. anyways they are best friends. ( lae’zel: we are not ‘friends’ / idrylla: you’re right. we are best friends, pal. / lae’zel: tch. ) **lae’zel has been romanced 

SHADOWHEART: while idrylla did try to save shadowheart from her pod, idrylla also has particularly failed at every turn to get shadowheart to even attempt to trust them. traditionally anyway. since the common ground of the parasite & needing to team up & trust each other has failed to get shadowheart to loosen up, idrylla has taken the approach to just be a utter nuisance to shadowheart. often chiding the other with jokes or teases, stirring up trouble between shadowheart & lae’zel, forcing shadowheart to go talk to people at parties( notable example is when idryl forced shadowheart to dance with them at the big fun tiefling celebration party in which shadowheart was so emabrassed she probs would have died on the spot if she wasnt actually having fun the whole time ), etc etc. shadowheart stresses idrylla out, so tightly wounded & clearly bothered by something that is clearly at times more dire than the worm in their brain. it activates idrylla’s older sibling mode near instantly as often the fussing of the other reminds idrylla very warmly of their younger siblings, one being very similar to the uptight cleric. when shadowheart does breakdown some of those walls & reveals her religious beliefs idrylla presents themselves as very accepting. while agnostic themselves, they do make a point to show they hold no ill will to shadowheart & support them, but more importantly wants shadowheart to learn to rely on them from then on to be more honest about anything. it’s after this shadowheart tends to be less antagonistic toward idrylla. but only a little less.

WYLL: idrylla noted early on that the “”””stone”””” that rests in his socket has a heartshaped looking pupil & annoyingly( to everyone except wyll himself ) calls him hearteye. as a baldurian they are very well versed in knowing the various tales & stories of the blade of frontiers. wyll is idrylla’s favorite drinking companion & the two get along like a pair of bros in a budding bromance that will make the fans go crazy. wyll holds a hard sense of justice that idrylla tends to think of a buzzkill at times, but does value the pull of morality his chiding holds considering her own moral standing at current is fuzzy at best. she does truly worry about how skiddish he tends to be about his guarded secrets & once learning upon the truth they promise to aid them in his quest to save his ‘totally not devil girlfriend’ & when wyll protests about such a title idryl simply responses ‘oh no i totally get it, hearteye.’ with a laugh & wink. idrylla also has wyll teach them the use of the blade, taking those teachings & applying them to their learnings of the staff as a weapon vs a channel for magic. often one can see them sparing in camp on down time. wyll is also the only one of the companions who gave idrylla a proper condolence when idrylla’s less than tragic backstory is revealed to the the companions, to which idrylla who was properly touched thanked him with a hand to their heart & a ‘aww, thanks man. you’re a real one.’

ASTARION: idrylla is far softer on astarion than they should be & they will deny it. usually such a judgement of letting astarion getting away with ( in most cases, literally ) murder is preceded by a loud groan or sigh. it’s not that idrylla wants to dull astarion’s sparkle, but more of a general worry. the more idrylla learns of him, the more & more they just feel bad( astarion: i rather be spared of pity, thanks / idryl: it’s not pity. i don’t pity you its just. well hearing that shit that happened to you ? makes me sick, man. horrible things to go through. makes me want to hit something. ). but the primary worry is what will happened to their newfound friend once the parasite is extracted, will astarion burn up in the sun ? prevented from hanging out with them at bars ? will they not be able to find something for him to eat on the journey they set on ? idrylla has no real way to comfort astarion in the face of his past & it makes them uncomfortable. all that can be offered is a arm about his shoulder & a ear to listen.  beyond all this, however, the two get along disturbingly well. idrylla’s current fuzzy moral standing & general pull to do really stupid things setting a stage for the two of them to act in their own chaotic fashion. the two make comments with each other that would make people wonder if they share a braincell. idrylla often pulls lae’zel into their shenanigans much to her dismay. the fact that astarion is a vampire spawn has absolutely zero negative effect or reaction from idrylla. **astarion has been romanced

GALE: i hate these two. considering gale being a wizard busybody i have to do the most divergent shit with this mf. love this catdad, anyways here go. gale & idrylla absolutely know of each other prior to the events of the game & have a loving rivalry friendship thing going on. they have met a few times due to the wizarding guild( take in mind, this wizard guild is something im developing for idrylla & is not canonical to the game ) of which gale would visit, but is not apart of, due to his associations. the two never had a proper moment of conversation prior but are as i said, very aware of each other at least in terms of their talents in magic. so whilst there is a pre-established link between them they are without a doubt strangers. their rivalry comes out at any time magic is spoken about or knowledge thereof. a interesting change in demeanor for idrylla who, for all intents & purposes before & during the events, tended to not have a proper ambitious or know-it-all bone in their body. the two will often agree about magic or purposely disagree. they speak of other wizards & generally are capable of working together to figure out spells or something magical in puzzles. when gale says that idrylla knows nothing about the weave, it took everything in idrylla to not set him on fire. when faced with the truth about gale’s utterly stupid need to consume magic & the reason behind it, idrylla simply just starts smacking him on the arm & calling him an idiot( considering idrylla’s recent expulsion from the wizarding guild spurred on by peers that are  power hungry & would do whatever they could to get ahead, the ordeal of gale sits very heavy on idrylla. while they does apologize later & explains the why. ). over time the two have gotten less antagonistic to each other & more or less bicker for the fun of it, showing that the two have found themselves more or less comfortable with each other & in their aventures found respect in each other’s talents. so far anyway. idrylla has threatened to steal gale’s cat( in jest to make gale wig out. )

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 11

The One With All the Lore (in which the Bad Kids do a Lot of Reading and we are Forcibly Reminded the Plot is Happening)

We are back in the Land of the Lomenelda where the Bad Kids and Co. are waking up (well, those who went to sleep anyway). Fig and Ayda wake from their sleepover that Fig decides to keep going into the day, confusing Ayda immensely in the process. 

Kristen decides to look at the research she found in Calethriel Tower and on a 22 religion check, she gets a lot of info which I will do my best to summarize here:

The information is older than what she read in the pirate book. It’s probably from 850-900 years ago--around the time of the last great Sylvan War.

The text is by high elven clerics of the Moon Goddess Galakaya (Tracker’s goddess).

There used to another goddess worshiped in Sylvere--a goddess of night, mystery, and magic and the younger sister of Galakaya. This goddess was worshiped by all of the races in the forest (and it sounds like this is who all the oblique references in the earlier research was pointing to). Doubt and the unknown were parts of worship to her which Kristen is very into. Religious differences between the races about how to worship the mystery goddess was part of what sparked the war.

Some high elven clerics came in to help broker a truce which ended up leading to the invention of the “Sylverian Heresy”. Basically, the Moon clerics advised the Mystery clerics to “unmake” the name of their goddess because, “Hey, she’s a mystery goddess, right? So isn’t knowing anything about her a contradiction of her whole thing?” They think that sounds legit and proceed to do that but it seems that it wasn’t actually altruistic advice as much as a ploy by the high elven clerics to weaken the mystery goddess. 

Fabian has been dancing all night and he is feeling exhausted but super good. This becomes even more of a family affair when none other than Hilariel Seacaster shows up! She joins the dance! Cathilda joins the dance! Fig plays her bass! Riz is skanking? It’s one of those classic D&D moments where the plot utterly grinds to a halt while everyone takes turns describing the ridiculous nonsense they’re doing and it’s fantastic. Once that calms down a bit, Fabian goes on a walk with his mom and Cathilda where Hilariel tells him that the grapes 1000% do not work, which honestly checks out.

Shifting to the Abernant sisters, Aelwen (this is the canon spelling and I’m gonna try to use it for these recaps but we’ll see how that goes) has just regained her pre-torture memories. To be specific, she seems to have backed them up between being broken out of jail in Solace and the torture starting. They have a little bit of a standoff, not sure whether one of them is going to attack the other. Once it becomes clear that blasting each other isn’t on the top of their respective to-do lists, they settle into a semi civilized conversation. Adaine wants Aelwen to read her thoughts so she’ll have the memories of what happened to her and the past day (at least from Adaine’s P.O.V.) and not go back to working with their parents. Aelwen seems resistant to the prospect and asks Adaine to just tell her what happened. While they’re talking, Adaine rolls an Insight check of 10 which doesn’t net her any information (we’ll come back to this).

Aelwen tells Adaine that their parents are not on the same side but refuses to elaborate, much to Adaine’s annoyance and frustration. They kind of dissolve into almost normal sibling bickering except that it’s about stuff like, “Oh come on, I only tried to kill you one time. Don’t be dramatic.” When questioned, Aelwen says that she only joined up with Goldenhoard for fun and she didn’t really think he’d win against her and her friends. The argument ends with Adaine casting Tasha’s Hideous Laughter which knocks Aelwen out in one shot because she’s still three or four levels of exhaustion deep.

Fig goes to Telemein to ask if he knows Planeshift (which she needs to get Gorthalax out of the ruby he’s trapped in). He does not and she doesn’t trust him to figure it out in a timely manner (or to even know what a timely manner is). 

Kristen goes into the Van where Aelwen is to check on her (she’s fine, just trancing). Then, she helps out while Adaine tries to rifle through Aelwen’s brain for information on their Mom. Aelwen saves from the first Detect Thoughts but she’s sleeping so Adaine just tries again. Second time’s the charm. Her sleeping brain is a little hard to read but what Adaine sees is that when she failed her Insight check with a 10, what was happening was THE SHADOWCAT WAS STANDING BEHIND HER AND TALKING TO AELWEN. And I (roughly) quote, “Don’t keep looking at me. Look at your sister. Your mom is working for me. She has the crown and she’s taking it to Sylvere. Get away from Adaine so we can talk.” On an 18 Insight check, she can tell that Aelwen and Kalina have spoken before and seem familiar with each other.

Now that Adaine has seen Kalina through Aelwen’s memories, she decides to Scry on her. Oh, and she has a Nat 1 portent roll to give her. Eat your dice Brennan! The Scry goes really weird though. Instead of just showing one person, it cycles through a bunch of people, ending with Ragh, Tracker, Sandra-Lynn, that elf Ragh slept with, and Kristen. Then, it flashes to a creepy-ass forest where she sees a wood elf covered in festering wounds and claw marks. Vines are dripping with blood. The elf stands, grabs an old spear, and scratches into the ground, “Hello Adaine. Glad you could join me.” Then, it moves back to Kristen. Um, como se dice, CONCERNING. 

Adaine gets a 27 to Detect Magic on Kristen and pings nothing that shouldn’t be there. Gorgug (who is also there btw) gets the pic and asks Ragh’s hookup if he can see the tabaxi and he can. The group gets together and they realize that everyone who can all of a sudden see the Shadowcat either had sex or exhanged blood with someone who initially could (ie: Garthy got it from Sandra-Lynn, as did Tracker when she blood healed her and Kristen got it afte she hooked up with Tracker in Leviathan). Shout out to everyone who called that. And I guess the Thistlespring STD talk at the top of the season was less of a wild detour than it seemed (I wonder if it would have transferred if said people specified that they used protection). 

Fabian and Fig are very down to drink some blood so they can also see the picture but they are warned off with the idea that it very likely means Kalina can see through their eyes or something similar. After they all exchange their info, Riz theorizes that Kalina is not just a servant of the Nightmare King and rather the Mystery Goddess herself, powered down. Adaine starts a private message (w/ magic, not on their crystals) with the non-infected people.

Kristen recently learned the spell Hallow which can basically turn the Van into a permanent Moon Haven. She tells Tracker and on a 15 Persuasion check, Tracker seems to have warmed back up to her a bit and is down to help. Telemein offers his library which has zero useful books but lots of meditation guides and essential oils which Adaine and Kristen respectively grab.    

Having learned her lesson, Kristen tells Tracker EVERYTHING she learned from the religious texts (and Tracker notices what she’s doing). She feels weird about something that bad having been done in the name of her goddess and also she’s sorry she gave Kristen a magic STD. She does the head bump thing that dogs and wolves do and says that just cause she was mad at her, it didn’t mean she didn’t love her. She goes to talk to Sandra-Lynn and it seems like they’ve patched things up. 

The Bad Kids split up again to get some stuff done before they leave (which they want to do since they are dangerously close to the elves who are probably looking for them). Adaine and Gorgug (who was also given Aelwen’s spellbook to hold) work on fixing the Hangman. Riz wants to do some research/investigating. Kristen and Tracker work on the Hallow spell. Fig guards Aelwen. Fabian hangs out with his mom.

After spilling his guts about the past week to his mom, Fabian is given an uncharacteristically lucid and touching speech from Hilariel which basically boils down to: you’re your own person and being able to get through hardship is better than never facing hardship. She also drops the information that post-yesterday’s shenanigans (grabbing the sun and all that), Aguefort has lost a LOT of funding. They won’t be able to pay their hirelings. Also, she kinda sorta wants Cathilda back because she’s out of yogurt and cannot cook. Cathilda has a little sidebar heart-to-heart with Fabian where she gives him a choice on whether she stays or goes and he decides she should go home with Hilariel. Says Cathilda, “There’s only one Seacaster left to take care of and she’s out there in a kimono.”

Oh yeah. Hilariel showed up to the woods in a black kimono. As you do. 

Cathilda asks Fabian which sword he’s going to fight with now since he has two and he chooses the elven one he got last episode over the Sword of the Seacasters.

Riz, with a crazy 28 Investigation check gets a bunch of information from the stolen research which I will summarize below:

Ragh, who is also there, reminds Riz that he saw Adaine’s mom talking to Jace post-prom and then saw the Shadowcat after on his way home.

Adaine’s mom was looking for a way to pin down the Shadowcat and also how to rename the goddess of mystery. She pulled 200-300 year old records on the execution of a wood elf named Landryn Leer in the elven secret service (called the Third Court). 

Landryn was a cleric, ostensibly of Galakaya, but she was actually a cleric of the goddess of mystery and was killed for espionage. When she was supposed to be healing, she was also infecting people with some kind of virus--probably whatever magic STD that lets you see Kalina in the picture.

Mom Abernant was also researching Abyssal demonic texts while she was working for Falinel (which I think is connected to the next bullet but my notes are a little hectic here).

After the first fall of Kalvaxus, a group of infernal warlocks came to help the good guys by making a boundary around the forest of the Nightmare King so no one could get in or out. The devils helped because devils hate demons and demons were on the other side. 

This isn’t new information but we’re reminded that the Crown of the Nightmare King can be used to anchor a being to the material plane.

Pok, Riz’s dad, also checked out the same information (about the fall of Kalvaxus and stuff) for himself and Kalina earlier. 

(Riz wonders whether the Nightmare King and the Mystery goddess are opposed rather than allies).

Anyway, the only way to pass through the barrier the devils put up is by a high ranking devil allowing passage. Mom Abernant had notes about binding a devil into a gem (Ragh recognizes that bit because of his mom’s condition) and doing a ritual to put the devil in a freshly dead body. Riz realizes that this is what was happening with him and Fig and Gorthalax in the Hotel Cavalier. 

This is actually from research that Kristen does but I’ll put it here because it’s related. Apparently, only a certain kind of dead body would give the Shadowcat the gem.

Meanwhile, Fig is watching Aelwen. She hexes Aelwen (giving her disadvantage of Strength checks), disguises herself as her (Aelwen’s) mom, and smokes cloves. Ragh’s hookup shows up, recognizes Fig because she’s still carrying her bass, and asks for the hot goss on her and Ayda. He says the elves told Ayda that she’s a rockstar and therefore probably promiscuous which made Ayda teleport away. That pisses Fig right off and she gets Gorgug to take over watching Aelwen while she goes after Ayda (with a parting, “CHOKE ON GRAPES BITCH,” to Fathethriel or whatever his name is). 

Aelwen wakes up but Gorgug realizes after about a minute that he’s not talking to the real Aelwen, it’s a water elemental like the one she made in her S1 battle episode. A decoy. At about the same time, Fig goes to where she was told Ayda left through a door but the door isn’t there. Then, she’s made to roll a Wisdom saving throw. Dirty 20 passes and whatever spell was happening doesn’t land. She rolls initiative but, even with a 5 turned to a 17 (she took the Lucky feat) she can’t beat a 19. Another Wisdom saving throw and this one she fails with a 10. She’s frozen with a Hold Person spell. Someone invisible grabs Gorthalax’s gem from her pocket.

She breaks out of the Hold Persons spell and casts Bestow Curse on the person--clearly Aelwen--to give her wicked gas (which is a hilarious on its face but smart after a second of thought Axford Gambit--Invisible Aelwen w/ gas = trackable by scent). Aelwen (who has the gem and her spellbook because she was in the Van, invisible and snagged it from Gorgug) drops invisibility, tells Fig, “Sorry but goodbye for now,” rips a huge fart, then teleports out. Adaine isn’t mad at Fig and Gorgug. She says she should have been watching Aelwen. The group tracks down Fathethriel who tells them Aelwen bribed him with the promise of 10 gold (the promise, not the actual gold) to mess with Fig. Fabian and Riz backhand him. Fabian calls him mean which is somehow the worst thing he could have said. Fig is ready to straight up kill this dude with Booming Blade but ends up just doing non-lethal damage and knocking him unconscious. But even Telemein hates that dude so it’s probably fine. 

The group discusses the hireling situation now that school is no longer paying their stipend. Sandra-Lynn and Tracker are both willing to keep on with them without being paid but the Bad Kids insist that they’ll still pay them from their own money. Riz thinks Aelwen might be the new sacrifice and Adaine is kinda like, “Sure. Of course. Why wouldn’t this be happening.”

Cathilda has a nice goodbye with everyone. Adaine gets cookies. Fig isn’t suspicious of her anymore. Fabian puts his eyepatch back on and calls her the best surrogate mother a boy could ask for (while standing like two feet away from his actual mom who, though hurt, is like, “Valid.”) 

Once they’re back in Leviathan, Sandra-Lynn gives a speech that’s half pep-talk, half apology. Then she asks Ayda to use her Sending spell and Kristen can tell even without an Insight check that she’s gonna talk to Jawbone. 

After terrifying Fabian with the idea that they might track down Chungledown-Bim, they decide to talk to Garthy instead--they being Fabian, Fig and Ragh. We’ll get back to them in a second. First, Adaine goes to the Library to read over her research. Nat 20 arcana check so here comes another info-dump:

The info she found was written by mystics and shamans of wood elves, centaurs, treents, and sprites (the forest races). 

Before the name of the goddess was destroyed, there were clerics driven out as heretics because they were having dreams sent by the mystery goddess which were ignored by the clerics in Sylvere. She was trying to tell everyone not to do the whole un-naming thing because it would destroy her. 

There were 4 miracles called the 4 transubstantiations followed by 1 bigger transubstantiation that happened before the unmaking of the goddess’s name. 

The mystery goddess was not just a goddess of magic but specifically, a witch goddess. 

Anyway, the transubstantiations were these:

Her spellbook was turned into a coin.

Her familiar was turned into a plague.

Her sanctum was turned into a curse.

Her focus (a broomstick) was turned into a tree.

Her name was turned into something unknown before it could be unmade (this was the major transubstantiation).

Riz is also doing some investigation and on a 23 check, the main piece of new info he gets is that in the original alliance of Kalvaxus and the Nightmare King, the NK gave Kal a coin for his hoard to seal their alliance. They realize that they got Kal’s hoard but they don’t know if they got the exact coins he owned or just an equivalent amount of money. Riz also sees notes from the government of Falinel saying that Mom Abernant was doing this research for them with the promise that they would release Aelwen and restore their family to some level of prestige. When the government went back on their promise, she started looking into other people that could help her, like Garthy (and the government eventually found out).  

Speaking of Garthy, back to Fig, Fabian, and Ragh. They try to persuade Garthy to come with them to help but Garthy is staying put. They do have some news though. Mom Abernant actually isn’t Falinel bound. She’s on the way to a town close to Sylvere (which the group kinda already knew but now they have confirmation and more specifics). The town is called Arborly and Fig actually knows someone who has a mansion (called Hollyhill) there who, while she was on tour, said she could stay there any time. With teleportation, they should be able to get there before her. Fabian has Garthy check their coins for anything fishy (looking at the aforementioned transubstantiated coin) but nothing seems amiss.   

As they leave, they suddenly hear a weird rumbling and then something leaps onto Fabian and starts giving him rubber burn. It’s the Hangman! Gorgug continued working on him in Leviathan and we learn that he took a level in Artificer and was able to fix him with a 22, some help from Adaine, and a little of the wax Fabian got last season. He’s back! And he wants to shit in Chungledown-Bim’s mouth! 

The next day, Kristen finishes casting Hallow with Tracker. She taps into some of the mystery goddess energy which seems like a questionable thing to do so very on brand for her. Ayda wants to come with them but she has to look after the library. However, she plans to shrink down the entire library, book by book, so she can carry it around and continue adventuring with the Bad Kids. Until then, she teleports them all to Arborly and the gates of Hollyhill.  

Detention

Fathetriel for Being an Ass

Even Telemien thinks he sucks. Choke on grapes bitch.

Honor Roll

Gorgug for Fixing the Hangman

I’m going to be less than entirely predictable here any instead of giving Adaine this spot for the objectively clutch move of scrying on the Shadowcat by forcing a Nat 1 on her save, I’m going to give it to Gorgug for taking a level of Artificer and fixing the Hangman. It’s just such a sweet move. All this insanity going on around them and he took the time to figure out how to fix his friend’s bike/dog. He didn’t have to do that but he did, and in such an understated way. Plus, it totally makes sense for him being the son of two tinkers. I wonder if he can build that cell tower for Zelda now. This also seems like a good move story-wise because I feel like having these extra skills ups Gorgug’s potential for shenanigans/helpfulness out of combat a lot.  

Random Thoughts

What did I say? What did I say at the end of last recap? I KNEW we’d gone too long without a Shadowcat sighting. I KNEW we were about to get wrecked! 

Made a couple of oblique references to this in the recap but I’ll say it outright now. The gang is all level 9 now!

There was a LOT of lore in this episode so, if I got anything wrong and you notice, please tell me and I’ll fix it when I get the chance. 

Sad to see Ayda go but happy that the Hangman’s back! I hope The Bad Kids take a page from Jester’s book and Sending her all the time.

Good on Fabian/Lou for letting Cathilda go in a move that was right for the story but objectively worse for the inevitable coming battle. 

“I couldn’t have one nice day with my sister.”/”No.” (“He’s all the bad guys,” Siobhan says in a resigned tone.)

Speaking of the Abernants, I think Arianwyn is how you spell Adaine’s mom’s name which I am going to try and get used to before she shows up again and I have to type it 47 times. Also, very funny that Ally/Kristen learned the name Adaine and was like, “She is the only valid Abernant. I refuse to learn any more names.” Anyway, this campaign needs less elves and more goblins. Riz. Pok. Sklonda. Things I can spell. 

I question whether the Mystery goddess is actually going to be an antagonist. Both because it seems like she got majorly screwed over by a bunch of uptight high-elves who have been nothing but trouble so far (sans Adaine and Hilariel to a degree) so I’m inclined to be on the side they’re not on and also because this was clearly a plot point written with Kristen in mind. So I guess the question is, is this going to be a temptation for Kristen or a safe harbor? 

Did the curse on the NK’s crown get properly dispelled by Adaine’s mom? Wondering because of the whole sanctum being turned into a curse thing. Though, I guess breaking the curse could be what turned it back into the sanctum.

Lol at all the people in the comments questioning whether Brennan ripped his lore from My Little Pony when all the Moon goddess, sister goddesses stuff was being explained. 

Did Brennan say how Hilariel knew where Cathilda was? She doesn’t have magic, she’s some kind of Fighter. Does she have Cathilda Magic Lojacked?

“Yes, The Ball! Feel it! Yes, Ball, skank!”

Hilariel, like Jareth the Goblin King, can contact juggle, which checks out. 

I’m very curious about what Brennan has planned for Aelwen because I think Adaine offering to willingly fail a save so she could read her mind was a very clutch, “I had a week to think about this and you better believe I thought about it,” move from Siobhan and I don’t know why Aelwen would be hesitant to take that opportunity (besides maybe thinking it was a trap?) except for the meta reason that a quick reality check would joss some important story beats. I could be wrong but that’s just the vibe I got. Also if any of y’all are inclined to write the alt version of this scene where Aelwen *does* do that, def tag me so I can read it. 

The vibe that was going on when Adaine and Aelwen was talking was fascinating. I kinda loved it? Like, they were still fighting and Aelwen was still being a bitch and Adaine was still super annoyed but it felt almost blunted? Like they were shooting at each other but with Nerf guns instead of AK-47s for a change. My read on Aelwen is that she enjoys having a relationship with Adaine, even if it’s antagonistic. I think that Aelwen would much rather fighting with Adaine every day than for Adaine to not care about her at all. It’s like the horseshoe thing, you know? Love and hate are much closer to each other than they are to indifference. Better to have her care about you in the wrong direction than not at all. Anyway, this is so the vibe that I was expecting from them when they linked back up post-rescue. Wish we had gotten a little more before she escaped but I’m really liking this plot thread.

Also, curious about how truthful Aelwen was being when she said she only joined up with Kalvaxus for fun and was counting on Adaine and Co. to stop them. And, while we’re wondering about things, I’m curious about what Aelwen’s previous relationship with Kalina was. Like, besides creating a diversion to steal the crown, how do the events of this season hook up with the events of last season in a way that explains the relationship? Or is it not related? What is the timeline of events here?

And was Kalina actually there talking to her do you think or was it more of a projection type deal?

Sidenote: I think Brennan is taking liberties with what Detect Thoughts can do (in this and especially last episode) but I think it’s a very good creative choice and it makes things a lot more interesting.

Also, gotta say, the way the plot ended up turning out re: Aelwen’s Escape was just *chef’s kiss*. Like, you had Fig bring up the ruby, unprompted earlier in the episode--reestablishing it as a thing that exists. Then they gave the spellbook to Gorgug. Then, Fig was the one who took up guard duty and she happened to switch up with Gorgug, giving Aelwen and, by extension, Brennan a perfect series of events to get her out of there. Wild. 

This episode explains how the Shadowcat/picture thing is spreading but not where Riz and Sandra-Lynn got it from initially. Like, I assume Sklonda got it from Pok. And it’s very plausible Riz got it from one of them somehow but when would they have shared blood? That’s not a normal family thing to do. Did his dad give him a kidney or soemthing? I’m probably overthinking this. 

Emily, I’m begging you. Please keep bringing up those rock and roll babies until Brennan is forced to make it plot relevant.

Speaking of, I was getting so many Night Yorb vibes from that mystery goddess “don’t speak her name” conversation and if the Night Yorb becomes plot relevant I swear I’m gonna personally make Brennan eat his dice.

“I mention everything to Tracker from now on.” You know what that is? Growth 

I loved Fig saying “I don’t know enough about you to know if we wanna kill you,” to the Shadowcat by directly looking at Riz and him being like, “UMMMMMMMM.”

Gilear, wildly, was not mentioned once in this episode and you think he would have been since his girlfriend showed up.  

I wonder if Fandrangool has better stats than the Sword of the Seacasters. I also wonder if I’m spelling that correctly. Doubt it.

“My vices rule.”

One thing I didn’t recap but should have were the dreams in the first episode and I feel like I should go back and watch them because they feel like they could become relevant any time now but that sounds like a lot. I’ll try and watch them before next recap though so I can connect any obvious dots.

Is there anything more pure than Murph cracking up at Emily’s shenanigans. 

I have a note in my notes that says “Fig/Virgin” but it’s like that one gif. “Why am I gasping? I already knew that.”

We originally thought the Shadowcat didn’t want people to be able to see her but now it’s seeming like the opposite is the case. It looks like this is a systematic way to *force* people to be able to see her. If that’s what’s going on then that’s a brilliant reversal from Brennan.

Aelwen, when she gets her memories back, says something like, “Since I’m in a hot tub and you found what you found, I’m assuming you’re not gonna kill me this second.” And one, funny that she can’t even directly reference the one compliment she ever gave Adaine while in her right mind but also, the implication seems to be (at least partially) that she thought, “Let me say something nice about Adaine on this charm to buy me some goodwill so she doesn’t immediately kill me once she restores me,” which is so calculated and I kinda love it.

I had a conversation with drinkingdeadpeopletea while the ep was going on that basically went like: Me: They better watching Aelwen so she doesn’t escape. Her: lol she’s def gonna. 

“Does your mom smoke cloves?”

The goddess’s familiar being turned into a plague and the thing going on with Kalina and being able to see her being like an STD and Goldenhoard presenting as a dragonborn but being an actual dragon and Kalina being a tabaxi and cats being the most classic familiar for witches and the goddess being specifically a witch goddess all feel possibly related to me, but that could just be my brain playing the association game and connecting things that don’t necessarily connect. 

The fact that other characters (read: Fathethirel) read Fig and Ayda’s relationship as possibly romantic (in an attempt to mess with her of course, but still) and Fig reacted so strongly (well strongly and in that specific way because I have no doubt she’d also beat a dude within an inch of their life for messing with, say Gorgug or Adaine) is something I’m going to star for later. [Edit: Brennan clarified on the Discord recently that Ayda (or at least this version of her. Phoenix reincarnation and all) is 17 so y’all are all good to go shipping-wise). As is Tracker, by the by, but I think we were all pretty sure Brennan was keeping that above board.] 

Siobhan’s face when Fig says that she’s “straight edge except for hallucinogens.”

“I’m gonna buy you an orange.”

This episode, Adaine, with advantage, rolled a nat 20 (the other roll being 1). Brennan got one natural 1 (though it wasn’t rolled, it was a portent roll) and Gorgug also rolled one Nat 1 but it’s important that I note it was for giving the Hangman an ass to shit in Chungledown-Bim’s mouth.

[dicecast]

Rethinking of Star Wars: The Character of Darth Vader

In addition to being the most Iconic character in the whole series, Vader is kind of the emotional core of the movie, despite his being the villain and the antagonist.  When I talk about the original Star Wars being really weird, this is what I mean, who is the emotional core of these films?  You might say its Luke, but the movie is kinda weirdly distant from Luke, we don’t really delve that deeply into his head, the film seems a lot more excited to talk about Han Solo and Leia.  So are they the emotional core?  Well no, because in the third movie they just kinda stop doing stuff after awhile.  Is it the droids?  We are with them throughout the earliest bits of the movie, and their perspective seems to dominate about 50% of a New Hope, but not so much the other movies.   These movies don’t really have an emotional core the way that the first Matrix movie does, or Pirates of the Caribbean do, its more of a spectacle.  Because while these stories are a heroes journey, they are a really distant one (more on that later.

(There are emotional moments but not emotional themes) 

           The exception to this is Vader, who is a constant presence in all three movies, and in fact it is his decision which decides the final conflict.  Rewatch his scenes in the triology, and emotionally the camera is with Vader (except being his first confrontation with Luke), when he chokes the guy mocking his religion, that guy is presented as annoying and you get the anger in the scene.  When he is frustrated and obsessive in the second movie, the movie seems to display it, like the scene where the falcon gets away or when he is in his little life pod. The emotional high point of the third movie is Vader’s core.  Now I’m not saying this is particularly well done, or even deliberately experimental, only that it’s kinda weird considering how this movie is basically the king of main stream.

(pictured, emotions) 

           Vader is also the greatest failings of the prequal series, because Anakin from the original doesn’t resemble Vader at all.   And I don’t mean “oh Anakin is whiney he isn’t dignified” I mean the emotional logic of Vader’s actions doesn’t synth with the prequals.  

(this is more movement that Vader uses than like the entire original trilogy)

        See it’s a fallacy to assume that the only way you can devolve a character is by showing their back story (YOU HEAR THAT MARVEL).  In that blessed glorious time in the golden days before the prequals existed (aka my elementary school), you could look at Vader and try to imagine what made him into this monster.  Because Vader is remarkably well characterized, most of that credit going to his actors, and it is mostly done just through little things, namely his movements. Vader is heavy, he is slow, he is ponderous, all of his movements just feel like this evil glacier in human form is stalking around a space ship*. And this slowness isn’t combined with carefulness or even elegance, Vader feels heavy and brutish, walking straight into reality and just expecting it to get out of his fucking way.  All of this movement direction are tied to two core emotions.  Anger, and exhaustion.

(guess I will move my arm now)

    So I already talked about Vader’s relationship to anger earlier, but summing myself up. There are many different approaches to anger, and Vader’s is not explosive like in the prequels, Vad’ers anger is like a dull constantly burning ember, he is just kinda quitely pissed off all the time, basically moving via his constant hate.  But that doesn’t make him a passionately anger fellow, its burnout, he just occasionally snaps when his overwhelming frustration with everyone around him just kinda makes him at somebody not following the rules.  Its not explosive rage, nor a cold rage, it’s a constant low boiling frustration that has so consumed Vader that he only keeps going out of spite.   I could never picture Vader explosively slaughtering a whole village of people or even dramatically screaming at his mentor, I can see him just making a frustrated scoff and killing everybody in the area out of contempt because they wasted his time.

(Not ever bothering with villain banter, fuck off) 

   The other emotion that defines Vader is exhaustion, especially in the first movie, because is so fucking zoned out in that first movie.   Literally every single interaction he has in that movie except for his duel with Obi One is curt, brusque and dismissive, Leia is like “I defy you” and Vader is like “Yeah what ever, I don’t care move on”.  He stands in Tarkin’s meeting room like an extra prop, he feels so superfluous and barely interacts or move until somebody insults his religion, and even then he is like “oh well I guess I’ll hurt you”.  He is zonked out, and if you think about it, it makes sense.  Vader’s reason for joining the Empire and embracing the Dark Side aren’t clear in the original, but presumably he came out of some sense of believing in something, even if that thing wasn’t good.  Well after decades of atrocities and murdering most of his former friends, Vader has won, the empire is in control and he reigns supreme…and he still isn’t happy.   He is this massive badass and is just...doing his job because its what he does.  

 Based on how eager he is to turn Luke, my personal headcanon was that Vader wanted to remake the Jedi order in his new fascist empire, but the process of making the empire basically wiped it out, and now he is alone in an empire where his own subordinates say his religion is sad and outdated to his fucking face. Whatever goal Vader went into this for, it clearly hasn’t worked out for him, he is basically on rage field auto pilot.  

(phoning it in) 

Compare that to how he behaves in the second movie, Vader has so much fucking energy, he is focused on the task at hand, he is talking to people, it really does feel that for the first time in a decade he has found something worthy living for.  Which brings up something else, Vader always felt old to me, in fact he is referred to as old a few times, but he also just felt like an old exhausted man.  According to the prequals he is basically in his early 40s, which just feels wrong, Vader doesn’t feel like he is having a midlife crisis, he feels like somebody age is catching up to them and they are just sort of realizing how out of place they are.  I always pictured Vader in his early to mid-50s, I mean Obi One was 63 when he played Obi One, though you could believe him being a little older, I thought Vader was like ten years younger, and they had more of a peer relationship, that is what it feels like in their duel, two old men who are the last relic of a conflict which ended over a decade ago.  Vader’s fall to evil never felt to me like a dramatic sudden break, rather it felt like a slow steady loss of humanity over the course of decades, like John McCain.

(I wrote this before he died, I have very mixed feelings)

           And like a man who earnestly held principles to be valuable while betraying all of them simultaneously, Vader never espouses a morality or a philosopher, but he feels like somebody who’s sense of self is founded upon some sense of duty and purpose, even though both have long ago been lost.  He earnestly is deeply religious concerning the force, and in the third movie seems largely ok with the Emperor letting him be killed by Luke in order to cause his son to fall to the dark side (First time I wrote that I wrote Dark Souls and suddenly Star Wars became a lot cooler).  He feels like somebody who does everything he does due to duty, even though its meaning is long past, so the Dark Souls reference I accidentally made wasn’t actually all that off point.  

(an armored man following rules long past their relevance) 

           Actually seriously now, do you know which character Vader reminds me of more than anybody else. Leo McGarry from The West Wing, I mean imagine if Leo McGarry’s master wasn’t Barlet but somebody vile and destructive who encouraged his own anger and frustration, and imagine if he didn’t have a family or friends who could help him alienate his own pain, and he just comes this manifestation of a system that he enacts without understanding it.  

           It’s also interesting to me because Vader is such a Kinetic person, I mean the is basically second in command of the Empire and the main enforcer, why is he flying a Tie fighter around personally?  Can’t he delegate this shit, doesn’t he have like administration or something to deal with? For somebody who is trapped in a robot suit which doesn’t move very much, he is clearly somebody who likes to move around, when I was really little I never really got that he was a cyborg just in how human his movements seemed to be.  I think Darth Vader isn’t somebody who thinks very critically or questions his decisions once his made them, so when all of his life chocies have made him miserable and hollow, he just kinda distracts himself by going to people’s houses and kicking their doors down, cause you know, its active.  

(like, why is he doing this, delegate man, your not commander Shepard) 

           All this combined actually comes together quite nicely at the ending or rather, it is one of the only two character arcs that are complete in Star Wars, Vader changes in each movie.  This is not fantastic story telling by any means, but Vader is the most iconic character for a reason, and his emotional arc is kinda more important than Luke for reasons I will get into later (seriously Luke’s story line is really weird). In the first movie, he is totally burned out, just kinda doing the Empire’s will out of inertia, and is so exhausted he basically on auto-pilot.  The only three scenes where he seems like he is paying attention is when somebody insults his religion, Obi One shows up, and Luke gives him a hard time in the Death Star Trench.  Rest of the time he just phoning it in. 

(weeeeee)

 In the second movie, Vader seems alive, active, mobile, like he actually has something to care about, and it is also freakily obsessive.  I know there is this meme of Vader murdering people at the drop of a hat, but I think that is less Vader and more this particular point in Vader’s life, he doesn’t kill anybody in the first movie, in fact a guy basically feels so confident that he again..insults Vader’s religion to his face. Sure he gets chocked afterwards, but can you imagine anybody doing that in the second movie?  Sometime between New Hope and Empire, Vader seems to have figured out who Luke is and now he has purpose, a goal, turn Luke and remade the Jedi order, since Palpetine seems to not to give a shit, so Vader is heading to that, regardless of how many ships he throws away officers he murders.  And at the climax of Empire he just…kinda retreats back into his depression, and mopes away.  .  

(jump to 10:35, I couldn’t get the whole sequence) 

   And while Jedi doesn’t focus that much on its main story (more on that later), Vader here seems to be totally conflicted even before Luke shows up. He is surely and unfocused, and basically is letting the Emperor take the wheels, except of course the Emperor doesn’t give a shit.  But it isn’t burnout, it’s the realization tht Vader might have to actually you know…consider an alternative possibility.  Before the Prequals corrupt our imagination of the past, the impression I had of Vader was a man who set a goal for himself and basically followed it for decades, even though in the process he kinda destroyed the thing he was trying to protect.  He is basically a hyper lawful person who isn’t creative enough to consider alternative possibilities, and only now with his family involved, does Vader actually thinking larger thoughts rather than immediate goals.  Going back to my thesis that the Force=Emotional Health, then Vader is finally realizing that his way of coping with the world and his emotions isn’t working at all, and he needs to actually choose what he wants.  

(wait...I have autonomy?) 

And even so, it takes him so fucking long to make up his mind at the end, because Vader is a really clannish type of person, he values his “Group” over everybody else, and picking between his master and his son is a hard choice.  And then he dies, movie over.  Honestly, Jedi kinda fails, but it has a pretty good arc for Vader, it’s the story about a fascist who questions “why did I become this?” You know that scene from pan’s Labyrinth where Captain Vidal slices his own reflections throat?  That is basically Vader character arc in a single scene

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

You talk about Lyss a lot, and you mentioned once that you like to talk about your friends. What makes her so great and what do you love about her? (Sorry if this is weird I just find it really sweet when people gush about their friends)

I KICK OPEN THE DOOR

HOLY S H I T MAN THIS IS THE QUESTION I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR

i paused my episode of the adventure zone to answer this question

so uhhh basically lyss gets me a lot? like. i think a small part of it comes from the fact we’re both around the same age, we’re seniors, we’re sorta in that “oh my fucking god” mindset when it comes to high school but like

she cares a lot. sometimes it’s not blatantly obvious and sometimes we have our moments where we upset one another - but what friendship doesnt have those moments? the important thing is we apologize and move on and we don’t let things tie us down.

i feel safe opening up to a lot of my friends, but lyss is one of the few that i always go to first because - for one, she’s in my timezone and i don’t have to worry about too much - she’s there and she knows i’ll be here for her when she needs it too. it’s not a relationship of only giving - we give and take from one another and we don’t let things boil over to the point where we’re hurting from one another.

i don’t feel shitty when i talk to lyss - and if i do, she tends to help me through my stupid depressed thoughts and realize that i can move on from this. she’s such a loving person for the people she trusts and cares for, but she doesn’t take shit if you’ve hurt her friends and that really means a lot when i’ve gone through a lot of friendships where i’ve been sorta left behind once they get tired of my mental bullshit. she’s here. 

uhhh and now for what i love abt her and ill go past “everything” and go into specifics

lyss has a fucking baller music taste. she made this playlist a while back and sometimes i listen to it since its rly rly nice and she talked to me abt how she makes her playlists and like. im a music goblin who just throws shit into a playlist and throws it on shuffle every time i listen - but she puts so much care into the little things and she makes playlists like mixtapes and they’re so so so fucking rad, man

she’s gorgeous btw. like, don’t let her tell u otherwise!!! shes so so so fucking pretty and she reminds me of dodie and my lil heart always goes !!!! when she sends selfies to any gc (it does that w other pals too but i just need 2 gush abt how pretty lyss is) lIKE I TEND TO NOTICE EYES THE MOST AND SHE HAS RLY RLY PRETTY EYES

thats rly gay but anyway

we just have good times tbh. sometimes if we’re on vc together, it’s always suuuper calming and its rly nice! some of my friends naturally talk a bit louder so it can get kinda graining if im having a rough day and lyss and i sometimes go off and talk w another pal who’s quieter later on if we need to have a softer time. like, i get frustrated when im talked over like… repetitively but lyss always listens??? and that means a lot considering a lot of people dont let me speak or forget abt me in my daily life so

she’s just a super lovely person and i’ve told her multiple times that like… finding someone who’s the embodiment of love is rare but she’s definitely love through and through. the last month or so has really brought us together and i’m not an extremely religious person but i thank god a lot that i was given the chance to meet her. she’s my partner in crime and i would fight any assholes for her

[samdukewieland]

Stuck Inside Media Diary Week 6

It was during this week that it dawned on me just how many movies I’ve watched since when I started keeping track of it. Then I got to wondering how long I keep this going-it’s kind of a bit, but also not one totally. I guess as soon as I go back to work and no longer spend my days playing PlayStation for hours on end and there’s no longer The Ticket to listen to for the day, that’s when it stops. Got real close to breaking the streak this week, which is probably the most harrowing thing I’ve been through in about 7 weeks (for the record, Week 1 was not documented as there was not much to document).

Sunday, April 26

Mad Men, “The Mountain King”, “Meditations In An Emergency” [Season 2 Finale], “Out Of Town” [Season 3], “Love Among The Ruins”

California Don Draper/Dick Whitman is a real nice sweet spot that Mad Men taps into this season, or at the very least it comes across as much more interesting than the adventures of young Dick Whitman. It’s, obviously, the most honest we see Don/Dick whenever he’s around Anna and makes you realize just how much work he puts himself through to not be honest to anyone or himself. But to see Jon Hamm go between both characters really knocks you back on your ass-Draper is a pretty surface level “showy” character display, at least in the first season, and I’m glad they decided to flesh him out now like this, by giving the audience something that isn’t so wooden or warn out (wooden is usually an insult, but take it to mean like a gorgeously polished oak table or redwood or something else you could stare at for hours). That ending with him and Betty at the kitchen table is an incredible showcase for both of them (I used to be very dismissive of Betty, but I realize now that that was super unfair and dumb of me! so it’s been kind of eye opening re-watching this and realizing that January Jones was/is actually really good)

Season 3 is probably my favorite season of the show, from what my brain can recall and it really hits the ground running. You can feel the energy radiating off of it (when they were writing it they had already won their first Emmys and were already looking highly favored to repeat success in season 2).

Plot Against America, “Part 5″

Beef House, “Army Buddy Brad”, “Prunes”

Three Busy Debras, “A Very Debra Christmas”, “Cartwheel Club”

People really underrate Adult Swim and Cartoon Network, especially when you find yourself with an awkward amount of time before watching something at a scheduled time. Just nice li’l 15 minute (barely) long episodes before The Last Dance, that’s nice. Also I think the last time I talked about Debras I compared it to Stella which I stand by, but I’d also throw in Strangers With Candy and Pee Wee’s Playhouse. So if you like that kind of stuff.

The Last Dance, Parts 3 & 4

Dennis. Rodman. The downside of these episodes is that they go fully into the time jumping aspects that it didn’t do as heavily in the first two installments. I also think they might play better if they ran right after the first two parts, rather than have that week long simmer. That’s like the most critical thing I can say about them, and it really just boils down to “I want more now.” Love that Isiah Thomas has no shame in being in the doc, despite just being taken to the dome by e v e r y o n e featured in it. Probably the best example of “no such thing as bad press”-it should be taught in business school or wherever agents go to school.

Monty Python’s Life Of Brian, Jones 1979 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

This was, somehow, a big blind spot in my Monty Python catalog. I think I very quietly went through a contrarian phase of “Monty Python isn’t that funny” somewhere in college, probably a li’l in high school too. It’s definitely been a thing I’ve been worried about re-visiting (I can’t remember the last time I watched Holy Grail, which I considered a religious text) and wanted to keep at arm’s length. That was very uninteresting and there is nothing at all interesting in me admitting that this movie’s really fucking funny; I was cackling when they bring out the huge stone during the stoning scene. The alien thing, while I respect in a purely “well, we don’t know how to get from this point to this point with it ‘making sense’ so let’s just go all the way to nothing”-stance, I’m just pretty allergic to anything Gilliam (I’m guessing) thinks of as incredibly clever. Life Of Brian: good!

Monday, April 27

Parks And Recreation, “Tom’s Divorce”

This feels like a very underrated episode of Parks, not in the conversation a lot, which feels like an oversight. I also just realized that it’s a Harris episode, so that could be why I am trying to champion it right now. Honest, I didn’t know until two minutes ago.

Mad Men, “My Old Kentucky Home”

Mmmmm. There’s an image from “Old Kentucky Home” of Roger Sterling that is still so shocking and I’m using a great deal of restraint to not post it above (because it’s super-duper racist), but I am still in awe that a buddy of mine from college used/uses(?) it as a cover photo on one of his social media accounts. IF only I could be so bold as he, or Roger Sterling in black-face. 

The Virgin Suicides, Coppola 1999 [as of now this is available on Prime]

Grew up in a pretty anti-Sofia household from at least one of my undisclosed older brothers. I was told very early on that she is overrated and not very good at what she does and I just never investigated to see if that was true or not until...well I guess last Monday night. Baby’s first Sofia Coppola movie, babe. Talk about a mood! I liked it, I think? Yer kind of a weirdo-guy if you really latch yerself onto loving The Virgin Suicides, but I guess I didn’t realize how much of the movie has Kirsten Dunst or the other sisters not talking before I saw it. Or that James Woods is a pretty convincing sad/quiet/weird guy (as tempting as it is to say that this is the last good thing James Woods was good in, the correct answer is Recess: Schools Out-maybe John Q ((I haven’t seen it.)) I wonder how many conflicting feelings Josh Hartnett inspired in teenage girls between 1999 and 2001. Great job, Sofia, sorry I’m late to the party and for the pre-conceived notions that were lodged into my stupid brain.

Tuesday, April 28

Mad Men, “The Arrangements”, “The Fog”

Attaboy to “The Arrangements” for giving Carla Gallo work (tsktsk for not finding a way to use her more). “The Fog” is pretty mediocre Sopranos karaoke episode; not great, but not as bad as I remember it being. The Betty being hazy sequences aren’t as long as I recalled them to be, so that was nice. Plus all the Gene stuff....man, I don’t know.

The Manchurian Candidate, Demme 2004 [as of now this is available on HBO]

Jonathan Demme is easily the most underrated director of his time, especially when it comes to shifting genres and putting such an overwhelmingly human touch to everything he works on. This is probably the movie that has the least amount of that, but it takes these wild swings and chances that you can’t help but respect the hell out of what you’re watching. It’s maybe the weirdest Denzel role I think I’ve ever seen, but he’s so good in it, but that’s just kind of the standard in Demme movies. What’s the worst performance you’ve ever seen in one of his movies? Is there one? I’ve never seen the original Manchurian Candidate so I don’t super know where or what this one lacks, but it’s so strange that it has made me want to go back and watch it again to try and understand or just watch the choices that Demme makes in this movie. How about Streep!

Joe Pera Talks With You, “Joe Pera Gives You A Piano Lesson”, “Joe Pera Watches Internet Videos With You”

I know I harp on this a lot, but it’s just so wholesome and I guess I’m just shocked that anything this wholesome could have Connor O’Malley’s prints all over it. I say that as an admirer of both things, but just can’t wrap my head around the two come together.

Wednesday, April 29 

Something Wild, Demme 1986 [as of now this is available on HBO]

This movie’s incredible. I knew absolutely nothing about it going in, other than it was Demme and Jeff Daniels (every time I saw the poster, my brain just registered Melanie Griffith as Catherine O’Hara, because that’s who it looks like at a glance). I was floored, I couldn’t believe a movie like this existed and I just hadn’t seen it (though, to be fair, I can’t imagine a person who doesn’t love Jonathan Demme going out of their way to see this in 1986, let alone 2020). And I’ve got some apologizing to do to Melanie Griffith after being pretty underwhelmed by her in Working Girl, I loved her in this. I also can’t help but wonder who has had a worse life (in the face) because of cigarettes, Ray Liotta or Al Pacino? If you want actual good discussion on this movie, I can’t implore the Blank Check episode with Scott Aukerman where they talk about it (there was also nothing more, personally, of a relief than hearing them talk about how it reminded them of a David Lynch movie and After Hours, thoughts I also had while watching, but am by no means enough of a Lynch-head or have seen After Hours enough to confidently throw that out in the open without someone else saying it first).

Thursday, April 30

Mikey And Nicky, May 1976

About once a year Criterion does a 50% sale and lately I’ve tried to take advantage of that (having a disposable income really lends itself to doing this). This was a movie I knew nothing about, other than Peter Falk was in it and ya know what, I really like Peter Falk. I wasn’t expecting an all-night movie, I was barely expecting a crime/mob movie, but it technically is. It’s about so much more: cowardice, male-friendship, our weaknesses and shortcomings as people, Ned Beatty being pissed about driving around New York City and getting lost. I’ve thought about it a lot since watching it and I’m glad that I own it and can re-visit it whenever I want.

Parks And Recreation, “Christmas Scandal” & “Special”

Joe Pera Talks With You, “Joe Pera Has A Surprise For You”, “Joe Pera Helps You Write An Obituary”

When you just look at these titles on paper (or screen, rather) without actually seeing them, it’s a pretty good setup as a joke. However, this is when the season and show takes a very melancholy turn that’s incredibly moving. (I think he might’ve actually lost his grandmother between seasons-very possible I have this wrong, I just know the character was based on her)

Friday, May 1

Mad Men, “Guy Walks Into An Advertising Agency”

Man, this episode.This is an all-timer on every level; not an ounce of fat on this one and maybe one of the funniest things to happen on this wonderful show.

X-Men: Dark Phoenix or, uh, just Dark Phoenix, Kinberg 2019 [as of now this is available on HBO]

Incredible that people in charge of an X-Men movie decided an actual team that should be depicted in this movie was Mystique (team leader, lol), Cyclops, Jean, Nightcrawler, Hank/Beast, Storm and Quicksilver. I mean yeh, this thing is really bad, potentially worse than Apocalypse, because that at least tried to have a personality. Though the train sequence here does have some redeeming qualities to it, so it might have the edge-I couldn’t tell you a single set piece from Apocalypse other than Oscar Isaac’s beautiful mug being caked in blue make-up (lol). Also, I gotta admit, mad respect to Kinberg for the incredible bait and switch with making Jessica Chastain look enough like some kind of mixture between Cassandra Nova and Emma Frost where you’re expecting her to be either of them and not just a shape-shifting alien.

Joe Pera Talks With You, “Joe Pera Shows You How To Do Good Fashion”, “Joe Pera Shows You How To Pack A Lunch”, “Joe Pera Talks With You On The First Day Of School”

I obviously want more episodes of this show, but if there were ever a perfect collection of stories, it was this.

Saturday, May 2

Top Chef, Season 17 episode 7

Tough, tough loss for Eric [insert Tom Colicchio “there’s always Last Chance Kitchen”] who I really admire and absolutely loved last season, I wish he had not gone on All-Stars this year, gained a couple more years, polish his technique and come back on the next All-Star season and sweep the floor. No shame in this loss though, because half of the competition this week was pretty dumb, though this was good build-up for Restaurant Wars, which the producers seem to always have hanging above their head as fan favorite and they feel like they need to throw Poochie in there.

Mad Men, “Seven Twenty Three”, “Souvenir”, “Wee Small Hours”, “The Color Blue”, “The Gypsy And The Hobo”, “The Grown-Ups”, “Shut The Door. Have A Seat”

I don’t know if I necessarily advise watching 7 episodes of Mad Men like I did this past Saturday. However, I think you’re kind of hard-pressed to not want to just keep the tap going on this one. Incredible stretch of episodes for January Jones and a real proper introduction to Henry Francis, probably a character I should hate, but have a lot of affection for. He might be the most sincere character on the show, which makes him pretty endearing. “Shut the Door. Have A Seat” is also one of the best getting the gang together sequences/movies I think I’ve ever seen. This is also a real, real tough stretch for Don, humanity wise, between his handling of poor Salvatore and his dealing with Betty once he finds out about she and Henry. Great season, great stuff.

The Death Of Stalin, Iannucci 2017 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

Despite knowing (possibly) an embarrassingly low amount about Russian history, I dug it. Felt like the joke was probably on me partially, because of how little I know about Russian history, but is that gonna make me not enjoy watching Jeffrey Tambor in Hank Kingsly form bounce off of Steve Buscemi, Simon Russell Beale, Michael Palin and Jason Isaacs (holy shit, Jason Isaacs in this movie)? Nah. Though, be warned because this thing is probably ripe for your cousin who goes out of his way to tell you stuff like “well Doctor Strangelove is satire, that’s why it’s so genius.”

[haeroniel-doliet]

A boy I like

Theres this boy i like. In short and easy; hes pretty, hes funny and hes convenient. But.

For the first time in 20 years i have a real crush, a really really real one that my heart hurts a little. I realised this about half a year ago. I knew him before hand as a casual friend since we have the same hobby at uni and are in the same year and school. Initially i thought nothing much of him, he made silly faces and jokes but wasnt that big of a deal. Then somehow, on one roadtrip to a competition i sat with him in the front seat, and we talked about all so many things. All sorts of things we have in common and not so common and it was surprisingly nice how the conversation flowed. He photobombed all my pictures with stupid faces (that later i found myself looking at thinking how changing...) and on the way back i sat with him again, a little say and trying my best to seem very cool. We sano along the whole long ride back and his deep voice made my heart soft and gooey.

In the next month or so, this little flicker turned into a somewhat infatuation on my side. I looked over his facebook in depth, asked others more so what they think of him, looked over the pictures and snapchats of that day fondly. I realised I he was so convenient ticking all the boxes. He's local, has a sweet accent, has a car and knows the place. His family is sweet, religious etc and i think id get along with them. He doesnt drink or smoke. I even really think my whole family would really like him, the way he is outdoorsy and in the military and a proper clean guy. He likes climbing and hiking and scouts and fun games and such (sports, but not above a pizza and not too obsessed with fitness), he makes silly faces and such good jokes. He makes me laugh so easily. Hes single, definitely at least interested in girls. And for some reason about nobody else i talked to even found him romantically viable, let alone attractive!

What does make it so odd that i can't get him off my mind, and that i find him, beard and armhair and being "short" and all with his stupid silly faces and a nice butt. Is that i don't find any other man attractive. I'm fairly certain I'm gay, maybe bi maybe who knows. I'm also at least gray Ace, and sex uh weirds me out a whole bunch. So it makes sense I've not felt attraction and crushes growing up, but its so confusing that its so terribly intense (and nice) and its to very much a guy, and not a girl. (girls mind you i find so pretty and attractive daily, but i dont seem to really form crushes)

Besides that bugging me, i just figured maybe I'm bi! Maybe i'll open up to sex and all that if im in a relationship, but he seems friendly enough not to mind that even if i dont. How nice would it be to have someones hand to hold! To have someone to sit next to and who to say i love you to. Who to text late at night and to want to get out of bed for. I just wanted to feel a cozy cute relationship, and he seemed to be just the ticket. We started talking more, hanging out more, sitting in class together, and i thought i caught him looking at me more often, stand closer more often. Driven by a wild first time crush, my heart just decided to yall "he likes me back! He does! This is real and possible and great!" and even my friends (maybe because i was so enthusiastic) said they noticed it too, that our texts etc must be signs he likes me back.

So about 4 months ago before i went home for the summer, i began to get more antsy. Should i tell him? Surely i don't need to wait longer as the thought of him took up a lot of my daily hours. I thought of course even if hed say no, i can just run away for the summer and let the situation cool down without any awkwardness (glad i had that plan eh) and if it worked we could spend the summer texting and calling and it be really really sweet when we got together again!! So i got up my course, i planned the text to tell him (so he could think about it and not feel pressure to answer immediately or in public) my friends called me brave for apparently they would never dare to tell their crush. So i did it! I did as everyone told me, and i told him. Made myself all vulnerable and open and admitted i was smitten with him.

Now would this be any problem if it had gone like id hoped? Nope. He does not feel the same in the slightest and it was "such a surprise" so i had and cried and told my friends and cried and had our conversation and cried. In that week i learned that thats what heartbreak felt like. I learned the science behind why it hurt so so so bad. And i hoped up in bed being absolutely destroyed and miserable. Its precisely my fault for all the hopes i build up, all the dreams I'd dared allowed myself to have.

So over the summer, we didnt speak. Of course. But any reminder stung, seeing his picture pop up in facebook messenger, his name anywhere, any and all i hurt.

Over the summer i tried quite a lot to find a new affection, a whole lot if tinder indeed. And i ended up thinking of him little enough except to question what made him so special? As all these other boys just disinterest me.

Worse as we come back. We still share a hobby, and are on the committee and have to work together. I'd build up a bitterness, so I'd keep my distance and allowed him only basic friendly interaction or admittedly somewhat mean jabs and jokes. I had to inspect again, why am j like this? Why have my feelings not really changed? Why is he still so ideal in my eyes and i still want that dream i had. I figured out he was just so convenient. Thats what it boils down to. And so stupid stupid funny. And quite handsome in the right situation.

Hes still on my mind, so i ask in every avenue i can think of, what should I do?? How do i kill hope? Should i? Is there even the slightest chance he may change his mind? Maybe if i make myself look better, maybe if i build up our friendship more, maybe if that girl he liked doesnt want him and i can be a back up option.

Most tell me i need to just move on and forget about it, that theres no hope as he told me directly he doesnt like me back. But i just cant seem to stomach it. Just yesterday again we spent a competition day together, and everything just felt just as sweet as when j thought he liked me back. I find him so attractive still. I dont believe hes perfect, thats a little extreme. Nor do i think i'll never find someone else i'll like just as much and more.

But until then i'm so stuck. I'm trapped and it hurts and feels so strange. What can i possibly do to ease it? I cannot make him love me back. I want to wait for him to change his mind though. But thats terribly selfish. How do i just be a good friend to him? How do i free up all this space in my mind he still takes up?

Boy i like, please just either make me hate you, or love me back. I am hooked on you and it's gonna do nobody any good since you'll probably never like me the same way. I just am not what you want, even though youre everything i want.

[sandbreaker]

Every odd number

Here we go boiz

What does your character do by way of a hobby? Do they get a lot of “spare time” to pursue things they enjoy, or are they constantly busy with duties or chores? Is there a hobby they wish they could pick up, but can’t for some reason, and if so then what’s stopping them?1. When is your character’s nameday? Do they celebrate it? If so, how? Do they pay any heed to the god whose month they were born under? Do they have any happy memories of their namedays in years gone by?

Marlowe’s nameday is the 9th Sun of the 3rd Umbral Moon. These days Marlowe typically only celebrates with a small indulgence like a nice dinner with her partner or her family and maybe a bottle of liquor. 

Namedays were never forgotten when she was growing up, but there was little room for much celebration in Garlean Ala Gannha. Her family was sure to spend time together, but money and resources were tight so not much happened beyond that. Sometimes her parents had enough extra money for small gifts which were very much cherished, but little else. 

Though born under Oschon’s month, most of Marlowe’s religious attention is directed at Rhalgr.

3. What is your character’s gender? How do they relate to the concept of gender? Do you have any worldbuilding headcanons about gender in Eorzea, and if so, how does your character fit into them? Did they ever receive boons or face problems over fitting into their expected gender role?

Female, though she pays little mind to it. Gender matters little when you’re living at the bottom of the societal ladder anyhow. Your role is to work, and your worth is how well you do it. 

Most folk would consider Marlowe more masculine, but she doesn’t care much to give it any thought. Her world is one of physical labor and her sex has not a damn thing to do with it. Worrying about how to present oneself is for people with less pressing preoccupations like putting food on the table and a roof over their heads.

The doors that slammed in her face had more to do with her heritage than her sex, and she knows that.

5. What race is your character? Do they have many friends of the same race? Do they face any prejudice from others over something to do with their race? How do they relate to the concept of “being [their race]”?

Highlander Hyur, Ala Mhigan born and raised. Prejudice has been a constant force in her life in both Garlean Ala Gannha and in Eorzea alike. In all of this nearly all of her friends have been fellow Ala Mhigans, as there has been little comfort to be found outside of that solidarity. 

Marlowe’s heard it all from “Dirty savage” to “Parasite” in terms of slurs and insults hurled at her for her race and position in society. Despite all of this, she tries to keep her held held high and remain proud of who she is, and believe in the resilience of her people.

7. Where on Hydaelyn did your character grow up? How do they think of the place they spent their childhood? If they still live there, then do they sometimes wish they could move elsewhere? If they don’t, then do they sometimes wish they could go back there?

Born and raised in Ala Gannha, Marlowe was very young when the Garleans assumed control and hardly remembers what life was like without their presence in the area. Marlowe and her family were forced to flee about 3 years before the Calamity struck Eorzea. 

Though there are times she wishes she could return, she’s now got roots in Eorzea with her partner and her work. Returning home without her mother wouldn’t feel right anyhow. As much as she loved the people of her village,the place now holds too many painful memories to find any peace in.

9. Where’s your character’s favourite place in all Eorzea? How often do they get to visit? Why is it their favourite? How about their least favourite - is there anywhere they’re a wanted fugitive, or simply refuse to tread foot?

Marlowe enjoys parts of Thanalan that are well away from Ul’dah. Areas like Drybone remind her of her home in some ways, and there is small comfort in that. 

She detests Ul’dah, and wants nothing more than to see it rot and burn. It’s a symbol of greed, ill gotten wealth, and she despises the rich ruling class there. Everything that glitters was built on the backs of workers like her for a mere pittance, and thinking about it makes her blood boil. None of the wealth and luxury there is deserved. She detests both the city and its people with a seething hatred.

It doesn’t help that she’s nearly been arrested for brawling and rioting there, as well.

11. Is your character affiliated with a Free Company? If so, which one, and why? What role do they play within it? If not, would they ever join one, or start one themself?

No. Marlowe is not an adventurer, and has no reason to join one of those companies. Instead, she works for Naldiq and Vymelli’s forges.

13. What does your character know about Primals? Have they ever had direct contact with any of their worshippers?

Marlowe knows enough to know that they are trouble. She and her family briefly stayed in Little Ala Mhigo in Southern Thanalan shortly after arriving in Eorzea but soon left due to the constant threat of being kidnapped by Ifrit’s Tempered or Flamefangs. 

15. Is your character proficient with any methods of attack (such as weapons or magic)? If so, which ones, and how did they learn to use them? Do they, or would they ever, own a “job stone”? If not, then is that by choice, or happenstance? Would they learn if circumstances changed?

Marlowe is proficient in hand to hand combat, and can fight bare handed or with relatively unobstrusive brass knuckles (if you handed her a big ol’ pair of Hora she would give you a weird look). 

Her uncle Kormac was her teacher growing up. He was a long standing member of the Resistance and believed it best that Marlowe and her sister knew how to defend themselves without any carried weapons–as those were forbidden in Garlean Ala Gannha.

Had things been less turbulent, Marlowe would still likely know her way around a fist fight simply due to the rough nature of her work and her volatile temper. Learning just would have been much less of a friendly affair.

17. What does your character do by way of a hobby? Do they get a lot of “spare time” to pursue things they enjoy, or are they constantly busy with duties or chores? Is there a hobby they wish they could pick up, but can’t for some reason, and if so then what’s stopping them?

Marlowe’s usually quite busy but has found herself with somewhat more free time since moving to La Noscea with Graceful Sapphire. With things less dire, she’s had more time to jut relax instead of take on extra work. 

Though it’s not so much of a hobby, Marlowe does like to fish.

The idea of gardening has always vaguely interested her, but most of the places she has lived have been too inhospitable for it. She’d likely just grow herself vegetables and herbs, anything she could find a practical use for.

19. Does your character have a romantic life? If so, why not - lack of opportunities, or lack of interest? If so, what’s it like? How do they think of their love(s), and how does the world view the partnership? Have they, or have they ever thought of, “settling down”? Why or why not?

Surprisingly enough, yes. Despite doing almost nothing but work since arriving in Eorzea, Marlowe was lucky enough to meet her current partner Graceful Sapphire while out on a delivery job. After delivering some ore to a smithy in Ul’dah they got talking and went on a few dates when time allowed. 

It’s been a few years since then and things are going well enough. They fight every so often, but it hasn’t been anything big enough to break them. Marlowe can be difficult to live with but they’ve adapted to each other and things are going steady. They have a house together in Moraby. 

Once they’re finished with the Gyr Abanian tour and return to Limsa, Marlowe has plans to propose. As she sees it, they’ve survived living with each other, and they’ve survived a war together, they may as well do the rest together too.

21. Has your character ever met any of the major lore characters, such as the Grand Company leaders, Ishgard’s elite, or the Scions of the Seventh Dawn? If so, in what circumstances, and did they find the meeting positive or negative? If not, are there any they would like to meet; and if so, what would they like to say to them?

Marlowe’s seen the Grand Company leaders in and around Castrum Oriens, but always from afar, so it’s not much of a meeting really.

If she could talk to any one of them, she would probably talk to Raubahn. His devotion to Ul’dah baffles her, and she’d love to try and understand why he cares for such a wretched place.

23. How does your character view death? Have they ever had to attend a funeral? If they were tasked with organising the funeral for someone, what manner of rites would they have performed? Do they believe in an afterlife? What about the Raise spell - do they believe it can be used, at all, or for the forces of good? Would they consent to being Raised themself?

Death is an inevitability, and it’s always waiting. Marlowe is no stranger to it. People died around her all the time. Whether it was growing up in Garlean Ala Gannha, living among the sickness ridden refugee camps, or working in the mines, there was always death. Despite this, she is far from numb to it. 

When her mother died, there was not time for a proper funeral and it still really bothers her. If she could do it again, Avery would have had a real service and a proper grave instead of an unmarked plot in the shadow of Baelsar’s Wall.

Marlowe doesn’t know much about magic, and likely wouldn’t trust something like a raising spell.

25. Is your character a Warrior of Light? If not, what do they think of the fabled Warriors? If so, what do they think of Hydaelyn?

No. Marlowe isn’t even a real adventurer. She’s heard plenty about the Warrior of Light, but thinks the stories are greatly embellished and in her own terms “a crock of dodo shite”.