#but it kicks me in the gut
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Kabukimono blinks, looking at the other with clear curiously glazing over his eyes. "Can I call you Dain?" He asks, out of seemingly nowhere. "Is that okay?"
What remains of the once indomitable Twilight Sword is but a laughable stock of remains that would sooner fade like ashes rather than reconstitute itself. Contrary to what Kabukimono or those whom take care of him may believe that happened in order to find him in such pitiful circumstances, most of his disgrace was by his own doing which eventually led to his defeat against Hilichurls that he... lacked the will to fight back.
Any attempt to get rid of the curse that runs through his veins when a feasible lead is found is tantamount to burn himself alive with no hopes for survival. Try as he did to test the waters, to see how far he could reach, it is not a feat that can be achieved without walking tentatively towards Death's embrace, paradoxical as it may sound given the characteristics of this divine curse.
Couple a moment of uttermost weakness in mind, soul and body alongside the bitter reminder of watching innocent civilians become Hilichurls created the perfect concoction for disaster, alongside poor beings that no longer can think for themselves or be masters of their rampant and primitive emotions. Part of him would've wished to remain there to fate's caprice, perhaps that would accelerate the process of finding what fate has in store for him exactly. As for the other part... he is glad.
Kabukimono is the epitome of purity and innocence that this cursed star lacks so much. Purity for seeing things the way they are with no room for second thoughts, innocence for thinking in such manner that malice is out of the picture unless directly proven otherwise. Wish as he did that Khaenri'ah was that way, only very few escaped parameters of obsession, hatred and madness. Wish as he tried with all his might, long ago Khaenri'ah ceased having any fixing.
The harmless, initial query makes Dáinsleif's heart skip a beat, something he had already believed to not be a possibility in an empty shell like he currently is. Though moon-kissed featured denote exhaustion within their lack of movement, teal astral pupils quiver within glacial sapphire depths. When the realization that his name might be complicated to pronounce dawns on him, his eyes soften. Adults and children alike, elder people and teenagers in equal parts have always told him so, always tentatively to not rise any offence.
But it is the familiarity that such manner to say his name exudes alongside the memory of dear people to him that had been lost to the divine's wrath calling him Dain, alongside a traveling companion that he fell apart with not long ago... His heart is a battlefield, one in which two factions battle for dominance in this simple moment: a guilty mind that seeks warmth and kindness as any would and a weary soul that demands repentance for the sins he has committed— rather, for the sins he believes he has committed.
Albescent lashes flutter with a slow blink, an aching body forces itself to reach out a hand too cursed to touch something so pure that ought to be protected— even from himself, he silently begs. With what little strength he has left in him he squeezes gently Kabukimono's hand and his head dips once in a curt not. ❝Yes. I would like that.❞
For once, he wished that some of that beautiful innocence rubbed off on him. To trust in this world again, to trust in himself— that he has yet a purpose in this damned world if he was denied the mercy to find repentance in death.
@inavagrant ✦
#inavagrant#◟༺✧༻◞ what use has the veil of falsehood? ┊ask.┊#◟༺✦༻◞ τόμος δ: Ψάχνοντας τη χαμένη μοίρα┊To the journey’s end.┊#hey how are you doing :'))#placed this within the time you mentioned#that Dain was being treated!#I have so many feels about this#and he was in such an awful moment of his life#during this period of time#arguably one of the darkest moments of his life#but it kicks me in the gut#the beautiful way he perceives Kabukimono#after seeing so much ugliness and unfairness#anyway thank you for sending this in! ♥︎
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All he knows is flirt with men and lie.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#su she#jin guangyao#Jin Guangyao smelt the 'no one appreciates me' wafting off this guy and said 'is anyone else going to manipulate that to their benefit?'#Su minshan fans...I get it. He's so deep into his role as a pawn he thinks he might have a chance of being someone bigger in this game.#He does play a key role but he's never actually out of anyone's shadow! That's brutal!#JGY's manipulation games are always so fun to see in action. His words are his weapon!#He's getting verbally kicked around only to have someone acknowledge his achievements! Just like how NMJ did for JGY.#He is a master of honeyed words and gentle appreciations. His instrument is *your* heartstrings.#He might see himself in Su She; They both feel under valued and hungry for more importance -#-but it's also a means for JGY to know how to pull his strings.#(IN THIS MOMENT. I very much realize he does come to care for him later on.)#It is also funny how much his powerplays involve sweet talking men. Where did he learn that from?#(Most likely the brothels he grew up in. It's a kick in the gut once you see that link!)
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Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.
But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.
But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.
It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'
#o.#trans#transphobia#transmisogyny#I may or may not be talking about a specific post I saw that made me irritated but I didnt wanna get in an argument with internet strangers#sorry guys I'm still heated over freaking collin allred capitulating to ted cruz and throwing trans girls under the bus bc he didnt have the#guts to stick to his morals#and called them ''this idiotic business with boys in girls sports'' or some crap#as if trans girls don't deserve to play the sports they love. like I imagine if they blocked trans men from being physicists or something#and I just wasn't able to pursue the career I want? that would destroy me#and I still had to vote for him because the other options were ted cruz and some freaking libertarian.#sorry thats all tangential but can we not use the same rhetoric that all these politicians do as an excuse to kick trans women out of public#life PLEASE 🙏#...also I really hate the Popular Transmasc Ideology that says that we all experience life as basically the same as a cis woman & never have#to navigate having male privilege & being an ally to women#and all have some sort of Innate Connection to femaleness or womanhood or whatever bc 'obviously' we all grew up just like girls do#ugh#this one's going out there sans editing so dont yell at me if I worded smth weird please 🙏
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oh my fucking god dean had to carry cas' body to get him onto the pyre he had to carry all of cas' dead weight while the grief still clung to his shoulders he wrapped up cas' body himself and when sam mentions the meadow, he says it's where dean spread the ashes, excluding him and jack because dean wouldn't have let anyone else handle cas so dean had to be the one to carry cas from the house table to the pyre they all lost something in cas, a friend, a protector, a father, but dean lost half of his soul that night oh i am unwell and unstable with these thoughts—
#another detail that's logical and off screen but completely hit me punched me in the gut and kicked my knees in#what the fuck#dean. had to carry the corpse of his best friend. his soul mate. the love of his life. to to to burn him#and he and he made sure to spread cas' ashes somewhere he knew cas would like#WHAT THE FU#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#castiel#sam winchester#jack kline#widower arc#s13 widower arc#destiel#deancas#ANGST
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nobody ever listens to toby, not without questioning him 100 times. he's used to being interrogated, ignored, brushed off, assumed to be stupid or useless or a mindless attack dog. he feels like he has to protect everything, prove himself, kill everything to keep what matters safe. always on high alert, the first to act, told what to do, never to be listened to, never to be trusted.
but kate asks him what he wants her to do. kate looks to toby when something happens. kate lunges before toby has the chance to. goes to him the second something is wrong. toby says attack, kate slaughters. she doesnt trust anyone the way she trusts toby and she'd kill anyone getting in the way of their friendship. cuz someone like kate doesnt get someone like toby too often.
she doesnt get someone who'll drag a mattress through a forest and dirty mineshaft so she can rest easier. doesnt get someone who gives her shitty band t shirts so she can stop wearing the same shirt from the last 5 years. someone who brings her food and water and doesnt treat her like a goddamn animal for once in her proxy life. she thinks he's a dumb asshole, but he's also the most clever, hardworking, genuine friend she's had. somehow...
#FUUUUCK#BRO THE ANTLERGRAVE DRAWING CAME AT PERFECT TIMING CUZ THEYVE BEEN SITTING IN MY HEAD ALL WEEK LONG#LIKE IM PUNCHING THE WAAALLLLLLLL#toby holding kate back by the hood cuz shes abt to gut someone#'easy kate' PLEASE#for claritys sake NOT SHIPPING IM NOT SHIPPING kates a lesbian to me in my brain. they are siblings to me.#chatterbox#creeped#toby and kate being so protective over eachother. my god.#toby and kate getting their ass kicked by the rake every other day cuz theyre so stupid
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Gotta say people that throw a fit every time someone mentions the possibility of seeing some solavellan in datv are quickly becoming my least favorite people in a fandom filled with unpleasant people. Yes Solas is one of the main characters in datv, there should be more mentions of the romance thanks to that, maybe a 20 minutes romance will become a 25 minutes one should we call the police or can you shut the fuck up
#godddd and then this asshole had the guts to say this is why everyone thinks you're annoying when i started making fun of him for being an#unpleasant dick#it looks like solas will be there for a huge chunk of the game sorry the other possible romances of the inquisitor won't!#dorian will probably have more romance content than the others if he appears but i don't see anyone kicking and screaming because of that#i don't even want the inquisitor to appear much if I don't control her but this shitty behavior makes me wish there would be 5 hours of#solavellan making out just to annoy these people ugh#dragon age
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Hold on hold on hold on, the piano bit at the beginning of Legionary is the same as Odysseus' Mom's Waiting. Hold on, let me just-
#epic the musical#odysseus#epic#the odyssey#wisdom saga#the wisdom saga#epic wisdom saga#epic underworld saga#seriously this saga keeps coming back and kicking me in the gut
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eli moskowitz - "am i making you feel sick?"
#blu edits#cobra kai#eli hawk moskowitz#demetri alexopoulos#hawkmetri#binary boyfriends#binary brothers#sorry randomly got bonkers about their dynamic in my head again#i love when demetri is spiteful give him edge give him that streak of pettiness he's always been secretly proud of#hes 17 his only sources of true joy are schadenfreude and free food#he humiliated eli at that party and he enjoyed it and yea they make up but he gets his licks now bc he's owed and eli lets him bc he's owed#and eli's approach to redemption is all roll over puppy eyes im sorry i'll do anything 'just tell me im yours' like thatll make it better#like thats productive. but he cant build demetri a sparring deck out of this so if demetri says jump... if demetri says join my dojo...#and so demetri will run him through his paces ragged for penance but it doesnt make it better and he looks at hawk and still feels sick#(and yes he loves him ofc he loves eli but that just adds to his turning stomach every time he sees those eyes looking up at him like that)#(its worse bc its eli making him feel this. not hawk doing something evil but eli trying to do something good and demetri still feels sick)#(because who does that shit and then comes back belly up like letting demetri claw his guts out makes them even)#(because who can claim to love someone and still get a kick of satisfaction out of making eli bleed <- verbally emotionally metaphorically)#(not physically. never physically. obviously. that's eli's thing. and so demetri's a leg up on him.)#^ im promise im a fan of interpreting them where theyre happy too#this derailed from the edit#if ur for some reason reading this then however you first interpreted this is prolly correct. i went a little rogue here in the tags
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watching tiktoks and came to the realization that laios is just mystery inc fred but with monsters instead of traps
#this realization kicked down my door and punched me in the gut#they would be friends though let's be real#scooby doo#scooby doo mystery incorporated#fred jones#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi
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coming out as an official aventurine enjoyer. how embarrassing and predictable for me wow.
#the way 2.0 had me laughing at him n his gay little mannerisms all 'hahaha twink...'#n 2.1 kicked me down a flight of stairs with a muddy puddle at the end that i faceplant in#sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#he like. flicked one of his chips n it flew n hit me in the eyeball. im the duck in that one dhmis scene#i got kicked inthe gut this quest took everything out of me. i could sleep for 24h now i bet#honkai star rail#sona#hieicore ass sona drawing that first one help#hes hsrs kaeya sorta. a little. they both got the peacock coin flicker wiped out civilization thing going on. flirty voices too.#even eyes unique to that civillazation... goddammit#only the surface level aesthetic had me turning away like “nononononon not another one nuh uh”#hmmnghg
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Ink October day 3: Sophistry
An argument that seems plausible, but is fallacious or misleading, especially one devised deliberately to be so.
#khux#khux player#kh player#kingdom hearts#kh#kingdom hearts union x#kingdom hearts player#player my beloved#blue boi draws#ink october#ink October 2024#ink October 2024 day 3#watched a bunch of Player cutscenes for this one and Aug AUHG I love them. I always forget how much of a character Player is#but they are truly their own guy. more then even some non-renameable/customisable game protagonists#the utter guts on this kid to challenge multiple foretellers multiple times,fight both Ephemer and Skuld at the same time-#(both very powerful in their own right),AND attempt and succeeded in tricking four of the personifications of darkness themselves is… wow#they’re such a powerful fighter too. like they kick both Skuld and Ephemer’s asses,and sure they were both not aiming to kill and exhausted#from fighting Ven’s darkness BUT SO WAS PLAYER (as well as having just come from the arcade and those fights)#them fooling the darknesses too… along side their two closest friends… I wonder if there was any noticeable change between their normal#fighting style and the one they used there. Skuld and Ephemer didn’t necessarily see them fighting during the war#(only heartless or against one appoint) so I wonder if they fought like that.#the ‘argument that is plausible but misleading’ here is Player being possessed. with all the information available to them it is plausible#but we know for a fact that player is just straight up lying. making shit up. mimicking how darkness spoke before to pretend. which is ki#kinda hilarious to me like you go girl gaslight gatekeep girlboss. gaslight them into believing you’re possessed gatekeep them from dying to#trap darkness and girlboss by winning. amazing beautiful 10/10#I like to think Ephemer never realised、at least while he was alive. something in the tragedy of him never knowing.#of not recogising his dear friend through their deception. of dying thinking he failed them. that it wasn’t their choice.#and he did fail them in a way. there’s this recurring theme in Kingdom Hearts where the hurt lingers despite the memories being gone.#Player is very much effected by this with their memories of the war being gone but still suffering. Ephemer stands by the decision to hide#it thinking it spares them from the burden but it doesn’t it just takes away the context and they deserve to know what happened to them
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5 for the isat ask game!
5 - What's your favorite optional event?
VERY TOUGH ONE TO ANSWER. I'm gonna go right ahead and disqualify twohats bc it's a predictable answer. If I had to choose just one though I think it'd probably be the sus event. It really got my goat on my first playthrough bc I didn't realize you had to do it in ACT 4. If I remember correctly I think sus is the only optional event locked to ACT 4??? Now that I've actually done it though I'm quite fond of it.
Sus event is one that you really have to go out of your way to do. It kind of reminds me of the True Ending in SASASAP but More and I'm sure that's intentional. Like the requirements for sus quest necessitate that you're going to do it, if not the loop before ACT 5, very soon before it. You have to know pretty much everything about Time Craft and Wish Craft already, so whatever you're doing in the loops now is basically taking out any optional stuff before you hit the end. You have to pretty thoroughly remember how the script goes just so you know all the best ways to break it. I feel like if the True Ending route is Loop going through the motions so many times that they can't deal with holding their facade together any longer, the sus route is Siffrin waving a big red flag around for help. There's just no way you're going to stumble into sus without preplanning what to do to rack up your points and make Odile aware of how Wish Craft works.
So I think it's interesting how much Siffrin pushes back against Odile trying to figure him out. It's a pattern of behavior that I am well aware of where you're desperately going "HELP ME" but you're not willing to accept it when it's offered to you.
Siffrin spends an entire loop screwing everything up, to a point that's frankly kind of egregious even by Late Stage Timeloopers standards, and then they can't reckon with the consequences of it. I don't think sus event is as intentional of a cry for help for Siffrin as it is the player, mind you. But I do think it's. Very tragic. Yeah of course "it's too late" in the sense that Siffrin's about to talk to Euphie and the whole journey will end, but moreso it's that by the time that Odile can piece together all the information necessary to figure Siffrin out, Siffrin is just far too deeply entrenched in his self hatred and fear of abandonment to be dug out. I think if Odile could somehow figure it out in, like, early ACT 3, or if Isabeau was just a bit more pushy in getting Siffrin to do a feelings talk, maybe they'd actually be able to reach Siffrin a little. But they're always just a little too late, every single time.
I think the fact that you start really getting a bunch of weird points in ACT 3 gives this event a lot of buildup. For potential dozens of loops you'll see Odile brush against the truth of the situation, and then just barely miss. By the time she figures it out, it's too late. Explodes
Expounded upon slightly more in tags bc I don't like typing in post bodies I feel like a fish on land. eek
#asks#ask game#ive been forgetting 2 tag my asks. smh#Sorry ocean that this took a while to answer i got lost in the sauce (rereading dialogue in rpgmaker)#i spent way too long writing this and i dont think i even touched on the guts of why this scene gets to me. tbh#it's just like. idk i've been there#doing shit not even really on purpose to kind of flag other people like Hey i'm doing bad#and then they're like hey are you doing bad and it's like. Oh fuck well now they know and they'll want me to die. i gotta get outta here#very relatable siffrin momence. never a good thing#like i realize that siffrin was literally like 'i don't think i want ur help' and then i kept calling their actions a cry for help#but like that's what it is. i can't read susquest as anything else. i don't think those two things contradict either#desire to be helped versus desire to not be perceived/not be a burden on others.#wanting help but not wanting to BE helped? does that make sense. am i saying words#it's like how loop wanted help so badly they lost everything in pursuit of it when all they had to do was be honest with their friends.#idk. kicks rock around#isat spoilers
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apology tour spoilers without context
#helluva boss spoilers#helluva shitpost#helluva boss shitpost#stolitz#Helluva boss#helluva boss apology tour#hb spoilers#That episode kicked me in the gut
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Finished the new silt verses episode......
#will come back with my thoughts later#I feel sick /pos#he's fine HE'S FINE IT'S FINE#spoilers/// the way I expected the withermark to come back but still got kicked in the gut when they mentioned using it#fully expected faulkner to lash out entirely once carpenter was mentioned#crying why didnt faulkner give a fake withermark like with mason but also i get it its a different situation and mindset#“you didnt hesitate at bellweathers” the way I had to pause and having a breakdown#also the transcript link didn't work for me aaaa#the silt verses
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Rambling about Natlan (Spoiler Warning?)
Goodnight everyone, I just finished the Natlan Archon quest and I AM NOT OKAY (/pos). Sharing some screenshots/pics I took. LONG ASS POST (I think?) I'm still on an adrenaline rush so excuse me for not having deep smart thoughts, I feel like I drank 340 liters of caffeine
Goodbye Fontaine, beautiful Archon quest smh
Little cutie <3 I named him Fizzle (is it a male? i think? i forgot already). LET ME KEEP HIM IN MY TEAPOT PLEASEEE
Shitty photos (sadly didn't take electro) but I LOVE when Traveler uses their powers.
Facial expressions being amazing tbh, I wish I took more cause they're so fun SDFGH
MUALANI YOU'RE SO FUCKING PRETTY, awesome character I love her personality and everything so much. I'll most likely pull on rerun
Traveler outfit?!??!?! Who died for this- I wish this was a skin (maybe more detailed like Barbara and Jean's, yk)
I also LOVEEE Kachina, she was so adorable and I deff was cheering for her 24/7. Will I ever play her? prob not but I'm still happy they gave her for free!
Them bringing this plot point back was not on my list at all. I legit even forgot about it- It was an amazing surprise
Raiden and Mavuika pics. Because why not (I could have also done Nahida or Furina, but eh- too late for that)
Talk about Mavuika, she quickly became top favorite.
I AM SOO SAD I DIDN'T TAKE MORE SCREENSHOTS (ESPECIALLY DURING THE MAVUIKA VS CAPITANO FIGHT) BUT I WAS TOO DAMN MESMERIZED SEEING THE GIRLS FIGHTING. And I loveee me some chivalry.
I have no guaranteed but since Natlan is SPOLING US so much I already have 48 pulls for this man.
#genshin impact#natlan#mavuika#capitano#il capitano#kachina#mualani#kinich#he's not there but ima ramble in tags: I really liked his voice! him and ajaw (is that how you spell it?) arguing was funny#photo dump#ramblings#great archon quest#kept me glued on the computer#genshin spoilers#just to be safe#capitano kicking Mavuika in the guts made me howl#wasn't expecting that#me next pls#who said that#ALSOOO CAPITANO DID THE WALK THINGY. Now it's three of them (two if we count just cutscenes)#By that I mean Ei (both cutscene and attacks) n arlecchino (attacks only) (Unless i misremember idk)
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friends, teammates, childhood buddy, rival; everything but a lover.
#I'm clawing my eyes out#this song is so them coded#I'm gonna kms#i miss them so much#this is not okay#why did i do this?#gracie abrams you're insane#every song she writes#punches me in the gut#like they all have a kick to them#do you think lewis and nico think about eachother?#and if yes#how often?#brocedes#i told you things#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg
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