#but it is clearly extremely important
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There is an oft-repeated scene in the Silm when one of Our Heroes has died fighting a noble but hopeless battle that they chose, and someone, somehow buries them properly AND it is specifically mentioned in the text that the grave lay undisturbed until some far future date (usually the breaking of Beleriand).
This happens to Finrod, to Fingolfin (though his grave was only undisturbed until Gondolin fell), and Glorfindel. For other dead characters, this precise formula does not occur.
(Beren and Luthien die natural mortal deaths and no one knows where they are buried, Feanor spontaneously combusts and none of his sons' burials are ever mentioned, and Turgon dies & is presumably "buried" in the collapse of his tower. Hurin, Morwen, and Nienor aren't buried [edit: Morwen was buried]; Finduilas and Turin are buried but it is not specifically mentioned that their graves were undisturbed afterwards. Barahir is buried by Beren but it isn't specifically mentioned that his grave was inviolate. Aredhel's grave isn't mentioned, neither is Thingol's, Dior's, or Nimloth's. Aegnor, Angrod, Orodreth, and Gwindor die in battle against the enemy but in a battle that came to them (Bragollach and of Nargothrond respectively) and was one they had to fight, not a hopeless battle that they chose and their graves' aren't mentioned.)
You will notice that I have not mentioned Fingon, who was famously "beat[en] into the dust with their maces...they trod [his banner] into the mire of his blood," or any who died in the Nirnaeth Arnoediad and were dumped in a pile by Morgoth's forces to create the Hill of the Slain/Haudh-en-Ndengin/Hill of Tears/Haudh-en-Nirnaeth.
The Nirnaeth is, of course, the ultimate noble but hopeless battle, and Fingon especially typifies that. (Relatedly, Azahgal's body is successfully borne away by his troops, presumably for a long-lasting burial place.) The Hill of the Slain is meant to be a symbol of Morgoth's power and a place of dreadful carnage and disrespect for those who fell and should break my argument--
But in one sentence Tolkien turns all that around:
"But grass came there and grew again long and green upon that hill, alone in all the desert Morgoth made; and no creature of Morgoth trod thereafter upon the earth beneath which the swords of the Eldar and the Edain crumbled into rust"
--and the symbol of Morgoth's total victory becomes a sacred, untouched grave of heroes.
#they're all elves so it's a Little Odd#that inviolate graves are so important because they get a new body#but it is clearly extremely important#for especially Noble and Heroic characters fighting hopeless battles#to be buried properly (Barahir)#and a few fighting especially chosen Noble but Hopeless battles get the extra special inviolate grave treatment#quotes from Silm Ch 20#AND is hearkens back to the line about grass during the long peace#from Silm Ch 14#'but after the coming of the Sun rich grass arose there#and while Angband was besieged and its gates shut there were green things even among the pits and broken rocks before the doors of hell'#fingon#fingon the valiant#nirnaeth arnoediad#finrod#glorfindel#fingolfin#the silmarillion#haudh-en-nirnaeth#haudh-en-ndengin#tolkien#softlysilver#themes
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I've managed to beat up the train blorbos in the pasio subway extreme battles. Here's the ending cutscene that plays out for those who couldn't make it this far:
Ingo and Emmet I love you very much but I'm going to have to beat you with hammers for the nonsense you just put me through
#submas#pmex spoilers#subway boss emmet#subway boss ingo#pmex#pokemas#their battle was annoyingly tough and it was clearly designed to be done with arc suit cynthia#all extreme battles are designed to be done with with specific sync pairs but ofc theirs' were like that#also it was really important that you don't let them inflict status conditions otherwise they regain chunks of their health after each turn#or i think that happens after they attack a target with a status condition? The game does not explain to you how it works#so yeah you better have sync pairs that are immune to trapping or burn or paralysis or spend resources to make them immune#“I didn't think you'd make it through!” Believe me Ingo I'm as surprised as you are it took so much trail and error
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I'm really not vibing with whatever staff is doing now. Not only does there seem to be a total internal communication breakdown, there also seems to be an absolute disregard for how the players are affected by this.
Like, ignoring the fact that the consistency argument doesn't even hold water, their takeaway from the Fern/Paisley thread seems to have been "oh we gotta change Breakup and Hypnotic too!!"
And then completely reversing Sandsurge Blend on top of that? A gene that's been out for over half a year and was only listed as having the gradient softened, not reversed? Just a total failure to communicate and an absolute bullheadedness in pushing the changes through despite the very reasonable player concerns?
To top it all off, none of these are bug changes, they are style changes. Someone saw these genes before they went live, greenlighted them, and put them in the game. And now, months upon months later, someone else (presumably) says "fuck that, I want the gene to look like this instead" and that complete change is just... pushed through??
Like. Did they learn nothing from the Butterfly debacle, from Obelisk Flair, hell, from the Eyepocalypse?
What the fuck is going on behind the scenes?
#flight rising#snaphance rambles#i don't fucking know man#yeah rushing out ancients is an absolute mistake#but also why has “consistency” suddenly become so important to them?#they've done so many drastic changes in the name of “consistency” like changing the rarities of genes that have been out for 8+ years#and now they completely ignore the breed/gene variety they themselves have created#“this totally changes the dragon for no reason let's push it through”#actually the auraboa changes make them worse and far more cluttered#they already struggle with being extremely busy#so let's just revert those very nice gene designs that actually make them more readable#who cares if our players have invested in these dragons and have had like 3-6 months to get attached to them#let's flatten the fucking auraboa secs and completely change the look of sandsurge blend#because they clearly don't play their game or understand how players get attached to how their dragons look
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People complaining about Mel not liking Viktor and being "mean" to him as if this guy didn't hate her guts too and wasn't constantly rolling his eyes every time she opened her mouth.
#also she doesn't hate him she just doesn't give a fuck about him bc she has more important things to deal with lmao#like i know that's YOUR favorite character but for MEL that's genuinely just hemier's assistant#and not it isn't nice to ignore him and she clearly doesn't treat him fairly but it's a manipulation tactic she would've used with ANYONE#it's not about viktor in specific and i'm sure she'd get along with him if they tried to talk#in fact people claiming she's a bitch for not saving viktor too in the explosion (as if she could control it lol) .... side eyeing you#she couldn't control her powers and also she just cared more about jayce and that's VALID she barely knows viktor like-#it's always MORE bc women have to be KINDER and NICER and MORE POLITE and more more more and it's never ENOUGH#but then a man is mean and bossy and an asshole and he's just ✨sassy✨#and also viktor doesn't HATE mel he just dislikes her on a surface level the way he hates the council in general#and what they represent and what mel is doing#despite being extremely similar!!! and probably getting along if they talked!!!#viktor has his reasons to dislike her and she has her reasons to not care#and I KNOW it's also a metaphor about higher ups not giving a fuck about the disabled guy from the undercity™ but c'mon now#that doesn't exclude the fact that most people are extremely misogynistic towards mel#anyway viktor is a grown up man he can protect himself he doesn't need you all to hate mel collectively#and viktor doesn't even want her to be nice to him lmfao they dgaf#'shes soon mean to viktor :(' yeah it sucks he knows it sucks he doesn't care he's bothered by her mere existence and position too#they didn't make them bff bc they would've been too powerful#arcane#mel medarda#viktor arcane
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the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed
#not art#nsbu spoilers#kirk blade.... johnny manhattan..... maybe tenuously cosmo chase#also genuinely I Love that vic ethanol is showing himself to be bit of a dick#and kingskin conversely First Actual Communication With The Player is like. idk I just work here#(I am vibrating in my seat abt liv bloodlust. shes experiencing a bit of emotional consequence. hope she powers thru it and#becomes even worse)#I also love that g13 and jack manhattan are both like. gone#I know in adventuring party they're charting it to shape up as like. usha also slowly losing herself to the work like g13 did#and them becoming one entity entirely in the sense that their selves stop mattering in the face of their hacker capacity#(also called the Forum Moderator Dilemma)#but I also like to think that g13 handed it back to usha cleanly in the second episode with that one interaction#and is now fully unplugged from everything. left the movie. man is Sleeping#we all agree that paula ate jack manhattan tho I think it's fine to assume that#and! the way russell has been like. fully going whole hog full tilt into helping other people and moving the plot along#while Suggesting That Doing Self Reflection And Learning Lessons From This World Might Help to Other People#like I love that. 1/lieutenant syndrome but also 2/extremely transfem coded#like past the ''ohh I have realisationd I'm coming to'' stage. far past. man is bored with thinking abt genders#not new realisation to him! had that thought two decades ago. not motivated enough by anything to change anything#I think I just love the scenario of like magical mystical journey in a fantasy world clearly designed to make you contemplate ur gender#and ur like oh no what? we did that years ago. whats up#deeply interested tho. open up russell we wanna see whats up with u#dang is perfect no note 10/10 more important than anything else he is genre aware and savvy and that truly is all he needs here#the ''let's make it fun'' scene he does with liv is SO good I love him. Im so scared the vhs will snatch him away. hes too genre perfect
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"As for the government of the kingdom, [Edward V] had complete confidence in the peers of realm and the queen."
"According to the Crowland continuator, [Elizabeth Woodville] seems to have taken the king's place in listening to his council immediately after Edward IV's death. It does appear that she expected to have some role in her son's kingship, and the Crowland continuator’s report of the letters sent to her by [Richard of Gloucester] indicates that she had good reason to expect to be able to work with him and the other councillors: 'the duke of Gloucester wrote the most pleasant letters to console the queen; he promised to come and offer submission, fealty and all that was due from him to his lord and king, Edward V, the first-born son of his brother the dead king and the queen'."
"[However], in what was Gloucester's first coup, Edward V was separated from his household and Woodville advisors. When the young king questioned the move, Buckingham was reported to have told the boy 'It is not in the business of women but men to govern kingdoms'. The blunt remark referred to the authority of Elizabeth Woodville as queen and the power she must have anticipated within the new political climate left by Edward IV's sudden death [...] While the veracity of this scene is questionable*, the words attributed to the duke no doubt seemed plausible to Dominic Mancini who believed they exemplified the popular sentiment held by men [...]."
-Dominic Mancini, The Usurpation of Richard the Third / J.L. Laynesmith, The Last Medieval Queens: English Queenship 1445-1503 / Alexander R. Brondarbit, Power Brokers and the Yorkist State, 1461-1485
*One of Mancini's key sources seems to have been Edward V's own doctor, John Argentine, who attended to him in the Tower. It's very likely that he was the one who recounted this scene to Mancini, which suggests that it should probably be considered more credible than not.
#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#wars of the roses#15th century#english history#my post#Croyland wrote that 'The counsellors of the king - now deceased - were present with the queen' so yes#He clearly seemed to view Elizabeth as taking on Edward's role after his death#Which is striking since her son - the new King - hadn't even arrived in London yet let alone be crowned#It's also interesting that Richard wrote letters to *her* rather than the rest of the council and that she was the final deciding authority#when it came to her son (she was the one who wrote to him for his military escort) - it's a clear indication of who was seen as important#This is also reflected in 16th century chronicles like the claim that the Archbishop of York gave Elizabeth the Great Seal#We don't know if this is true - the Archbishop was definitely opposed to Richard but More may have embellished or invented the story#But either way it reflects the perception that Elizabeth would have a major role in the realm's governance during her son's minority#Which makes sense as Edward V would have been used to his mother governing for him as part of his council his whole life#It's also interesting to compare the impression we get of Elizabeth's role with that of former kings' mothers in late medieval England#Because that can help us understand her activities (and perception of them) within proper context rather than purely in isolation#From what I understand kings' mothers could be very influential (eg: Joan of Kent) but were almost never visibly/directly associated#with the governance of the realm. It's striking that the most extreme and arguably the only exception - Isabella of France - assumed#her unofficial regent-like role only after literally deposing the former King aka her husband in the most atypical situation imaginable#So it's striking that Elizabeth *was* visibly and directly associated with it despite her situation being entirely standard; despite the#lack of precedents; and despite the physical absence of her son. Especially since she was effectively the king's mother for only 20 days#I do think it's possible to argue that it says something about her power as queen#(Edward *did* give her unusual positions of authority either way) and may also suggest a more direct personality on her part#It may also explain why historians were/are so readily prepared to believe that she wanted to 'usurp the sovereignty' to quote George Buck#Ofc this is my interpretation based on my (limited) knowledge - feel free to correct me
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the thing about yosuke’s shittiness around here (up close and personal, the campout) is that the vast majority of it isn’t doing literally anything for his character. i completely think yosuke’s shittiness is important to his character, but it’s by and large reflections of his own insecurities and flaws. he’s insecure about his masculinity and sexuality, he’s lame, he’s selfish, he’s obsessed with the idea of women, his mouth moves faster than his brain, he doesn’t like himself, and he cares way too much about the societal ideal of ‘normal’. but it’s really important that he’s self-aware! he knows when the things he says are shitty, he knows he’s lame, he knows he’s selfish, he knows he’s putting up a front of being carefree and normal. but there’s absolutely no self awareness here, there’s no recognizing he went too far and apologizing the next day, there’s no regret, there’s not even any self-deprecation, and there’s absolutely no compassion or empathy like he has in serious moments. a lot of what he says is just mean for meanness’s sake, in an execution incongruous with previous behaviour. it’s not even funny!
#tbh i think the thing with kanji in the tent was the closest to being interesting#like by the end he’s warning against kanji leaving the tent#so clearly he cares about kanji more than he’s homophobic#he was straight up just saying that stuff to be shitty. knowingly!#that’s interesting! and the whole thing reeks of yosuke’s own insecurity in his masculinity and sexuality#he took it way too far and i deeply wish he’d quit it with the we statements#but if he had even a single line like ‘shit… i shouldn’t have said all that’ or recognized he was in the wrong at all#then i think it genuinely would’ve been an important moment for his character#everything else was just extremely shitty for no reason. the fucking swimsuits was pathetic but the gross guilt tripping was awful#he’s just lacking all of his usual self awareness. he’s lacking all of his good qualities and nuance#like it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes yosuke’s other moments interesting or funny#this is just him being mean getting punished arbitrarily and not learning anything#on paper i get it. i get how these events could be continuations of established charateristics#but it’s just so mean and shitty that it becomes absurd nonsensical and unenjoyable#the stuff with hanako is just genuinely repugnant on the game’s behalf. it serves no purpose other than cruelty#definitely the worst part of the game so far#rambles#p4g posting#yosukeposting
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Saw a post abt the Sonic movies that was like "plz filter negativity posts better" which is GOOD AND TRUE you should be doing that. Ok. But then they kept going to imply that the criticisms of the Sonic movies are all entirely Personal and Ignorable and not like. Usually abt the horrific copaganda, misogynistic writing, and Paramount's disgusting zionism.... Guys a lot of ppls problem w the Knuckles show wasn't JUST a bastardization of Knuckles' character or thinking Wade was annoying or whatever, but like was focused on the grotesque Zionist message from that one episode 😭😭😭 you can enjoy something and still recognize that it has intrinsic and huge glaring flaws and talk abt them. I think actually you Should be speaking up abt the misogyny, zionism and propaganda the SCU supports and discusses, ESPECIALLY if you like the movies! Its important to be able to recognize these things in media and admit that even media you personally enjoy can be deeply problematic, instead of hiding it away and pretending those HUGE FLAWS aren't issues actually....
#scu neg#sonic movie negative#do you guys even have a specific single tag? genuine question#scu negative#like bro you just had to say 'plz tag negativity posts better :(' you didnt have to go on a tangent abt how sonic wachowski is a perfect#little angel ...#and writing off criticism abt the movie as 'personal issues' is also just. Mean. undermining ppls genuine investment in the characters#shadow means a lot to me. his storyline js extremely powerful. ofc im disappointed they fucked it up. thats personal but it has real world#consequence. taking a character whos entire plotline is driven by an anti-militant message and who is a genuine and powerful representative#of PTSD in media and making him. Whatever He Is Now is Bad Actually. even if you think thats just a personal take it still has Real Effects#and i dont expect the scu to be a masterpiece of art. i take sonic seriously but i understand that im maybe an Exception and also that#perceptions of characters change between literally Everyone. but i think its still fine to say that i dont trust the writers to tell the#story they want to tell. they very clearly Dont understand what made adventure-era sonic so powerful in the first place and thats a valid#take even if it is 'just a personal opinion'#ok sorry for getting heated. as a board-certified PTSD haver shadow the hedgehog is important to me its like i imprinted on him as a child#like. i dont think its a stretch to assume that theyre probably going to make shadow Dull and Lame compared to his old storylines. gerald i#already so fucked up that i honestly have lost all hope this movie will have good writing. and i can Expect good writing becuz this project#is from a huge corporation that can Afford good talent and Chose to do their movies this way instead#and they were like 'you guys cant b mad that the character you like didnt show up!' when the criticism for THAT is that the scu is doing#EVERYTHING in its power to AVOID adding new and substantial female roles to the cast. rouge not being there is a larger issue besides just#Missing Her. we have 3 reoccurring women/girl characters. out of a cast of roughly 13 main characters. cant you see how disgusting that is.#i think its 13 anyway hang on. im counting wade tom sonic tails knuckles shadow eggman gerald those two gun guys. yeah#'but theyre adding another woman character!' yeah.... and shes another military official..... when we coulda had Rouge the Bat???#thats not the win you think it is.........#ig theres sonics owl mom too genuinely forgot abt her tbh#she exists only to b a mom and die tho so she isnt rlly That Great as a woman character either#and maddie exists only to b Sonics Mom and rachel only exists to be the Funny Aunt and jojo only exists to be The Girl Cousin so......#SORRY ESSAY SORRY i feel very passionately abt sonic!!!! especially in this case!!!!!!!#ok well ig maria is there too but shes also just. Uhm. Ok. Look. i love maria robotnik. but she is a Plot Device not a character. sorry#wades family dont count either becuz. well. they suck NO NO NO JUST KIDDING
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i feel very frustrated about the trend of giving chil body hair bc if it was any other anime twink i would be thrilled its just that it seems to only be because people are SO afraid of him looking young they have to make him hairy to justify liking him in ships.
meanwhile it does directly go against canon (he literally is supposed to look like a child. this is integral to both his character and his race's lore as a whole and it makes no damn sense that he would be mistaken for a child if he has body hair i mean. cmon.)
and it's like. some men are hairless. some men look young. when youre a trans man in your 20s-30s its especially common to be mistaken for a teenager, even more so if you're not on t. and short. these traits do not make you less of a man or an adult. :/
#rot posts#listen its like. i just wish ppl werent doing it for the reasons they seem to be#you NEVER see tiny little men get body hair in fanart i should know ive been in multiple fandoms where i was the only 1 givin bitches hair#but it also sucks when its like. clearly from a place of discomfort and not wanting him to seem young#rather than actually loving body hair#for example where is laios with body hair. wheres kabru. mithrun. literally any other character#(senshi us a slight exception on account of semi canonically having hair)#it just feels like a performance for no one. ok yeah good job you made chil look like a hairy 30 year old#did you pay attention to how that totally disregards his story and how he canonically looks like a child and that IS an important aspect#half foots face infantilism to an extreme and his appearance is a part of this. the discrimination he faces is partially BECAUSE of looks!#so changing him to erase such a HUGE important aspect of his race's lore just bc ppl seem uncomfortable with him being young looking feels#idk the feeling. its frustrating to me#i just wish there was some self reflection here. i guess. some actual acknowledgement of his canon struggles#do you even like chil if you cant accept one of his core canonical traits...#whew anyways this is HUGELY a limited edition post bc im deleting it as soon as my husband reads it ❤️#i hate drama i hate discourse so like always if you try to start shit i will ignore + block you soo fast dont try me
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*slams hands down on table*
XERO????
AHAIAHSIWHF HAIII MINUTE. CLASPS MY HANDS TOGETHER VERY POLITELY. I put Eclipse in a time loop that starts from the first day of October and restarts on the day he dies 😁 The loop can only be broken when he starts to heal from his trauma and ties up loose ends :3
#asks#itsahotminuteinbetween#lunar is EXTREMELY important for the loop too#obviously they're there bc they were part of the takeover#but how Lunar reacts to Eclipse is a huge indicator of whether or not Eclipse is getting close to breaking out#i talked a lot about this au w/ my friend kat and flap said once that eclipse starts to become hyperaware of certain 'events' and what they-#-mean and also realizing what it means when they stop doing them. like lunar asking less and less if eclipse is okay even tho he's clearly-#-doing worse. and he tells himself he doesn't care. but in the next loop he's nicer to fix it#yk? yk???#he goes through probably hundreds of loops and experiences every emotion and does everything he can think of#but it doesn't work until he's open. he has to get off the track that leads him to his death.#and i rhink abt it a lot HDKABSKSNS#tsams#eclipse#no id#xero thoughts and rambles
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thinking abt how the team reacts to seeing vitale's demeanor change almost instantly when they enter treviso again. bellara's only just met them, she wouldn't clock anything as 'wrong' but they're clearly holding themself differently. harding's only seen them act anything like this when they meet new people, especially if varric/harding also didn't know them. neve's only had a little more time than bellara has, but a trained assassin noticably change how they act? she's not going to view that as anything but a warning sign.
#datv spoilers#vitale de riva#harding met vitale after they had been with varric for a while#so while she was also met w the 'i don't know or trust you and will alternate between playing nice and being extremely guarded' thing#it didn't last too long. partly bc varric trusted her and she was clearly around to stay#which meant vitale considered it more important to play nice#mostly they've settled into being well-meaning but blunt. not as straight-forward as they were w viago but nearly
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i debated a little whether to post this or not considering that I'm basically a tma blog at this point but a while ago i visited Gradara, which is a little medieval village (the Italian word is borgo, saying village doesn't have the same effect) that was built around 1150 ad. Beside being extremely pretty and having a lot of swords and knights figurines, it's probably better known because it was home to a pretty well known couple: Paolo and Francesca.
So i guess in honor of Hozier's song Francesa here's a little photo dump from my trip. (Please ignore how dark the pictures are that's literally who i am unfortunately i was created by DC)
Disclaimer: I'm not a photographer, take what you can
the city entrance
the south tower
Francesca and Ciotto Malatesta's room (restored, it's not the actual one but close enough i guess)
**
The view from their window
Last but not least the chapel. Yes the acoustic is amazing and yes i sang Hozier songs in there (because i was alone and they were about to close, I didn't bother anyone)
Unfortunately most of the castle is restricted because (fortunately) it's undergoing restoration, but you can also buy a ticket for the walkway around the city walls, the one the guards did, which would have been great if I didn't suffer so much from vertigo (yeah the vast is gonna have to fight the spiders for my soul)
Oh and i almost forgot there's a "walk of the lovers" (passeggiata degli innamorati) again about Paolo and Francesca that's literally a trail of hearts
Sorry about the 2014 vibes, i do miss my youth
#Hozier#unreal unearth#hozier unheard#Francesca#hozier francesca#Paolo e Francesca#Why isn't it Francesca e Paolo she's clearly more important#Andrew made a song about her#dante alighieri#divine comedy#Dante's extremely popular self insert ff#gradara#medieval castle#Dante is the og Mary Sue#He did it before star trek#Sorry if the photo quality is bad :(
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a yet to be fleshed out scene from my ct lives au is more or less just ct going "I cannot believe I have to go on a mission with these 2 strangers whom I don't trust in the slightest because my former teammates mercilessly slaughtered all of my boyfriend's teammates so now his boss doesn't think he's qualified for field work anymore"
#she's more used to the director's bs than she wants to admit okay#she's also not sure how to deal w /not/ being seen as the cringe fail loser girl (affectionate)#ct: you want *me* to take point on a mission that is clearly of great importance????? ME????#also 'yet to be fleshed out' i say as if the whole fic is not just a vague collection of ideas that have yet to be connected or solidified#rvb#red vs blue#agent connecticut#the two strangers are felix and locus btw. and the mission isn't chorus. but that's all im gonna say lol#like it's not that ppl didn't get punished for messing up in pfl but most of the time being dropped lower on the board was the punishment#being temporarily removed from the active roster for a mission or two was generally seen as an extreme measure considered pfl's nature as#a highly experimental high risk unit#re: felix and locus in my ct lives au im debating on if they were marines or ODSTs prior to working for charon#ODSTs would make more sense in being able to keep up w wash and lina but the colors of their armor for the warrior test thing says marines
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this is yet another random academia nitpick i won’t let go of for weeks but someone in the comments of the victor ninov broccumentary claimed that science is a “incredible field that can’t be simplified to storytelling like this” because “it goes against human nature to do” and writing good sci comm goes against scientific integrity.
and the whole statement is incredibly stupid but in true anthropologist fashion i must say what on earth about science goes against human nature. the desire to test a phenomenon and revise your theories based on the results is literally one of the benchmarks for early modern humans. this is the behavior in corvid’s (tool use) that people loose their shit over. communicating findings to others?? collaborative work to reach an arbitrary goal that won’t necessarily have a direct benefit on your immediate life???? that’s how we domesticated staple crops dumbass. it’s science all the way down
#look i know i am Biased to qualitative research and can and have debated engineering folks over the need to understand that human expression#in an field cannot be summarized into qualitative data without ignoring important factors#(the categorizing tells us more about the *researcher’s* perspective than the subjects. sorry i’ve spent too long doing ethnography around#human factors / psych people. i’m so glad i escaped)#BUT. EVEN I WILL ACKNOWLEDGE TRADITIONAL EXPERIMENTAL SCIENCE HAS A WELL DEVELOPED AND DESERVED PLACE#AND ITS AN EXTREMELY HUMAN EXPRESSION#i have also debated the validity of human nature as a concept#<- anthropologist behavior. but regardless what the fuck is the point of this statements#‘science is hard because it’s unintuitive for the human brain’ clearly you know jackshit about the human brain or any of history#and that’s because you’re too obsessed with science and ignore the wonders of humanity.#you cannot take the science out of the humanity you cannot take the humanity out of the conduct of science#text✨
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frankly, i don’t know how you CAN’T take dreams seriously… for years i thought i was an emotionless monster who didn’t truly love anyone until my Pop-pop was dying and i dreamed about him every single night without fail and i have never doubted myself again.
#dreams elucidate my repressed desires and anxieties in extremely important ways#that tell me what i have going on Up There#i’ve had dead people visit me a few times#sometimes they’re just insane and hilarious#idk - i love my dreams and i think they’re important (to me at least)#they’ve helped me make some BIG decisions by laying my opinions out clearly#for instance - i decided i wanted top surgery like eight years ago in a dream#and now i actually have it booked :))#dreams are serious business and i like to make fun of myself - but i DO take them seriously
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processed some trauma i think
#i did a lot of things very wrong when i was a teenager but also i was a teenager and everything was difficult#i feel bad for how i ended some of my friendships over the years bc it was often like.#they were clearly struggling. something was deeply wrong with all of my friends home lives. deadly serious things. molestation abuse etc#but when i was 14-16 that was extremely difficult for me to contextualize. i knew it was bad of course i wasnt stupid#it was more just. i didnt have the life experience to know just How Much it affected a person.#that type of shit can obliterate healthy functioning adults. the type of behavior it invokes in teens can be fucking UNPARALLELED#it affects your entire brain and body. i dont think theres a single part of you thats left completely undamaged.#in retrospect i now recognize that there was more i could've done. i could've talked to my parents more and i really dont know why I didnt.#i think I just felt like nothing could be done?#and there probably wasnt much that could be done#but idk. it could've helped me process it which could've helped them process it.#and as important as i think compassion is. even towards people who can be viscerally unpleasant. i was a kid. not a social worker#it was the responsibility of the adults around us to make it better. and they either failed or made it worse.#it's just awful to think back on it and realize that we were all in this shit together. but the trauma ripped us apart anyway.#i really sincerely hope everyone from those dA chatroom days are doing better now. i hope they're safe. i hope they're not dead.#it's always going to bother me a little bit that i have no way of knowing what happened to any of them.
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