#but it is actually very interesting
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whenever i say “screaming crying throwing up” this is what i mean
#american psycho#patrick bateman#christian bale#rewatched last night he’s soo stupidly pathetic why is he the way he is#allagashed obsessed with another insane man (fork found in kitchen)#sorry 2 my very little followers my interests bounce around so quick i only have like two i’m constantly into and its nirvana and ed movies#+ horror movies so actually three nvm
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so i left the mormon church as a teenager (15ish? 16?), but stayed in attendance until i was 20. i was pretty up front about the whole deciding-it-wasnt-true process with my bishop, who frankly took it really well, but it wasnt like i pulled all 150 ward members aside and had a heart to heart with them. anyway, i didnt believe, so at 19 i didnt go on a mission, and while some people in the ward were totally fine with that, others werent. and there was one woman in her late 50s who pulled me aside one day to interrogate me why i hadnt gone on a mission.
"the duty of every young man" she said.
and the thing is, im autistic. and a lot of people assume that when youre autistic, your social skills just arent very good. but thats not exactly true. your Be Polite skills are kind of eh, and they tend to stay that way, but as a sort of survival mechanism your Be Rude skills become amazing simply because you get put in tons of situations where your choices are to Function or Be Polite. and no one can choose Be Polite forever. the world demands function, it merely encourages politeness.
anyway, it can really catch neurotypicals by surprise, because hey, heres this kind of awkward, graceless guy, who stumbles over his words a lot and is very apologetic. hes probably a huge pushover. but i'm only like that when we're playing The Polite Game, because i am frankly kind of bad at it. but when its time to play The Rude Game, i go fucking ham and asking about the not-going-on-a-mission thing is Super Rude. so i said:
"sister hadlock... they wont let me go because i lit-er-ally cannot stop sucking dicks. i dont know why, its just so, so hard."
*dramatic pause*
"also - its very difficult to stop."
anyway, it almost killed her. i think she'd expected to just kind of steamroll me for the entire conversation, but the answer crushed her soul. instead of continuing her interrogation she made a noise like a horse drowning in a bog and left.
to add insult to injury, she went to the bishop after that, thinking he'd chew me out for being an ass, but instead he chewed her out for not minding her own business. then she went to my parents after that, who basically went "yeah, babylon was pretty rude. but youre also pretty rude. what are you, mad that he's better at it than you?"
i really loved that ward.
#mormon#exmormon#that ward was actually very kind to me#i know a lot of exmos have horror stories about getting ostracized but i only wound up leaving when i moved to my college campus#and ive just never been interested in attending anywhere else because it wasnt about Mormonism#it was about those guys#the village that raised me
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the 'all marriage is gay as far as im concerned' except its me watching a man and woman character in a show i like and accidentally saying 'theyre so gay' because i literally forget thats not the word for romance because to me all romance is gay
#normally i find the way m/f pairings are written to be really frustrating#not because its like 'i hate straight people' or whatever i literally just want them to actually like each other and communicate#or have an interesting enough dynamic i can stay invested#also i am bisexual and m/f pairings can be nice. but liek they actually have to Be Nice and like eachother or be funny at the very least#txt#scratchpost
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archivist be upon ye
#relistening to tma again#i think the last time i’ve drawn anything related to it was like may 2020#god it’s been a while#have been listening to the magnus protocol and my god it’s so good#but heres good old jonathan as a treat#the interest has been in deep slumber for the past 4/5 years only periodically coming back to life#i’m very normal about this podcast actually#on other note i also started a taz balance relisten#what’s up with me and revisiting my middle school fixations lately#anyways#if you’re still reading these tags i’m impressed i could never with my abysmal attention span#tma#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#jonathan sims#the archivist#tma jon#fanart#my art#digital art#illustration#doodle
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FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#pit bonnie#fnaf oswald#into the pit#fnaf sister location#william afton#SO THERES this concept I saw (and I also thought of) going around#and that’s the idea how pit Bonnie treats Oswald is similar to how William treated Michael#obviously not all the chasing and more spooky monster parts#but specifically a lot of the at home scenes#where pit Bonnie acts normalism almost like a stern father#I like this idea a lot it’s very interesting to think about#I can imagine Michael actually meeting the pit and being like yeah that’s like my dad#like that’s how he mostly remembers him too#it’s kinda funny and kinda sad#Oswald definitely just feel so lucky to have his dad#Oswald fr got the better end of the ‘fnaf parents’ stick 💀#love you Michael deserve so much more than you got 💜
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the contrast in lucanis' early game responses to bellara and davrin are sooo funny and also quietly devastating. the vibe is like
BELLARA: heey so... how are you feeling lucanis? generally, I mean. or specifically, if you'd rather talk about something in particular! well, you usually don't, so no worries if not, you know, no pressure, only if you'd think it'd maybe, I don't know, help! I know it doesn't always. but ah, um... are you -- alright? (in the pantry. we should probably stop asking you about this but are you sure you're alright in there? it's where the parsnips live. and you now, too, I suppose! just... you and the onions. and a demon. sorry, didn't mean to remind you! you see I'm only asking because um for a second there I thought the dark circles under your eyes were actually bruises and it jumpscared me a bit)
LUCANIS (tired but soft): I'm fine, Bellara. Really. Don't worry about me.
VS.
DAVRIN: So hey lucanis. just out of interest. what the fuck is your damage anyway. why are you like this
LUCANIS (at his most 'orders one black coffee and drives away' and also honest): Well you see Davrin since you're asking: I am in hell. Also go fuck yourself.
#if nothing else we should forbid 'don't worry about me' from his vocabulary.#nothing has ever worried me more than 'don't worry about me' lucanis. it worries me excessively#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#bellara lutare#lucanis dellamorte#davrin#sooo many thoughts and feelings about the fact that davrin is one of the very few people lucanis is actually honest with#a lot of the time. their relationship is SO interesting even when they're solidly at the butting heads stage still#they've got some of that delicious 'there is something wrong with you (there is something wrong with you that is also wrong with me)' juice#going on. what if you thought your only way of being in the world was as a weapon. and you were both boys etc.
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there's something about butches reclaiming protectiveness and chivalry from an imposed "caring, nurturing" character associated and often forced upon women. something about how while straight men often try to present as careless as possible, masculinity and care are not only not conflicting in the butch identity, but inherent to it. there's something there.
#I've always been very fiercely protective of my friends and family#and i damn hated the idea of coming across as “motherly” so much#so much that i radically changed the way i interacted in fear of being percieved like some sort of mom friend#my views on this radically shifted since i started meeting butches#it also made me open my eyes to how people (esp femmes and other lesbians) actually see me and percieve me#theres an abyss of difference#and its an interesting thought#butch#butch lesbian#lesbian#butchfemme
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Given the misinformation that's been going around and will be going around, thought this might be helpful to some people
For a lot of reasons, I'm very good at this/at searching, to the point where I have worked as a professional fact-checker for two different publishers. So, here goes:
My Article Fact-Checking Protocol
Thorough Version
Read the full article. Keep an eye out for emotionally loaded words, and all-or-nothing language
Keep an eye out or anything that sounds too good to be true, and in contrast, anything that sounds so awful it must be true
Run the website/source through the amazing Media Bias/Fact Check. They'll tell you about a publication's bias and history of accuracy
Go to the website's home page and read through the headlines. Look at what topics they cover/prioritize, sensationalist headlines, and whether they're framing anything in a way that feels odd/off to you
Do a search related to the topic. This can be keywords, a question, or even just copy-paste the article title (Recommended: use DuckDuckGo so the results don't change based on what Google thinks they can sell you)
If multiple highly credible sources that say the same thing pop up, and there's no major societal biases that might affect the coverage of the topic in those sources (e.g. anything related to the Israel-Palestine conflict/Palestinian genocide, no matter which side), then I'm done!
If there are major societal biases, or I can't get a consensus of sufficiently credible sources, then I do some combination of:
(1) search the topic again + the words "controversy" and/or "fake"
(2) search the opposite of the topic, or do some sort of other filtered search
(3) look up a sufficiently credible news outlet with the opposite point of view of my source, and see what they have to say
(4) if it's a big enough topic, start by looking up 2 of the top national papers and 1 major paper for your region (I usually do the ones in the US, because that's where I am In the US: the LA Times, the Washington Post, and the NY Times)
Adjust "news" to "relevant type of source, e.g. tech, environmental" as relevant for all of the above options
If no red flags come up, and it's a topic I understand enough to smell huge bullshit,
Then I'm usually done!
If there are red flags, or I actually need a certain amount of detail/understanding, then it gets more complicated, but that would be a whole other thing to break down and such
or
tl;dr
Quick Version
Read the full article. Keep an eye out for emotionally loaded words, and all-or-nothing language
Keep an eye out or anything that sounds too good to be true, and in contrast, anything that sounds so awful it must be true.
If I don't know the website:
Run the website/source through the amazing Media Bias/Fact Check. They'll tell you about a publication's bias and history of accuracy
If I trust the source, but something else pinged my radar:
Do a quick web search to verify anything that sounds suspicious or too good/bad to be true (Recommended: use DuckDuckGo)
#should I make this a flowchart?#it might actually be professionally useful#and it would be good practice for work - I haven't gotten practice on building infographics or diagrams in forever#genuinely want feedback on if anyone would be interested in a factchecking process flowchart#it would look very different than this post it definitely wouldn't be just this with arrows between the paragraphs or something#because the best way to convey complex processes in text is NOT the same as the best way to convey it visually#anyway#not news#guides#masterpost#fact check#misinformation#politics#science
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Ghouls night out
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Scopophobia#Don't be mean Lan Wangji - the dead girl aesthetic is a curated one. Support women's rights to look dead!#I have been waiting for this scene for ages...the ghost girl entourage is such a good look for WWX.#And by gods does the audio drama actually do something interesting with one of them.#Namely that we actually get to see WWX talk with them and learn about who they were and what they left behind.#I love necromancer characters but it's way too common for them to be like “Go! Ghost no.145!” like they're a pokemon#and not...you know...someone who had a whole life that they left behind.#I love me a necromancer who has an awareness to whose soul/body they are using. It adds a lot of flavour!#MDZS is a little hit or miss with this. I think the fans do a lot of the work with making Mo Xuanyu a bigger character.#Yi City has this in spades. Even though we don't individually get character backstories#We get many painful reminders about how these 'corpses' were people.#We also get a few lines about how WWX used whatever corpses he could get his hands on (including grandparents - Woof!)#MDZS often (but not always) likes to remind us that every sacrifice and every ghost was a person.#It is so close to nailing the landing regarding the deconstruction of the necromancer character.#Anyhow. You may have noticed the uptick in quality in the last two comics. Rule of three means next one is going to be a treat B*)#See you all very soon!
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#was talking to one of my siblings about this a few days ago and it really stuck with me. for me I will not make the connection that this#character and I share a name unless someone says something to me. otherwise I'll realize it eventually but it will take a While#like. thats [name]. that's not me. that's [name]??#but my sibling says that they're actually taken out of the story for a bit if a character with their name is introduced because it's so#strange for their brain to process. which is So interesting to me#very curious to see how this ends up#smokey speaks#polls#500#1k
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still i think the one of the more fun differences drawn between illario and lucanis that was lost would be illario's ability to endear himself to others but serious lack of empathy, vs. lucanis' (self perceived) inability to be charming but how much he cares. it's interesting that the game has gone with the "lucanis' ability vs illario's lack thereof" because i think illario being the dellamorte 'best in show dog' vs. lucanis' attack dog would have made me so unwell.
lucanis is... awkward. he's not unlikable, because he is usually very polite, but he doesn't speak much and only seems to care about the other dellamortes. he once sent viago de riva a knife with no note (who knows what he could have meant by this). he does what caterina asks of him, and by his own admission, cannot say no to her. he is a dramatic and prolific killer, and that makes how untouchable he is even worse.
and the crows like illario, sure, AND he's a good assassin! he's even a good crow! he's so good that he can make lucanis smile, and so he is the charming, sociable one. he's the one that stays in treviso and can be relied upon to care, illario's even the one people prefer over caterina and lucanis!
but illario is decoration. he's the prize poodle, and even if poodles were bred to be working dogs, nobody will ever pick him to protect the house over the german shepherd that regularly mauls intruders. anyways the analogy is getting away from me. the point i'm trying to make is that i want illario to have a different kind of jealousy/hatred that's not just over 'being bad at killing' but also an arrogant loathing for everyone around him that is getting harder to hide, because they've forgotten he can bite and is just itching to rip someone's jugular out. illario is very good at hiding his family resemblance to caterina, while lucanis suffers under his grandmother's, and his own, reputation.
#not helped that these ideas are probably fostered by caterina. she doesnt WANT lucanis to have FRIENDS she wants him to KILL THINGS lol#and her perceiving illario as someone who wants but wont rise against her would have been interesting#so she allows his charm and friendliness etc. because she wants him to ingratiate the house to other houses#she doesnt want him out the picture. she NEEDS him there to make people like lucanis. illario just isnt content with that#i will shut up about this. i promise.#like i wont. but im trying#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#and also i want illario to have a little more manipulative asshole going on he's not believable enough in game omg#i think the main issue i have is that lucanis should have . maybe. been a bit less agreeable. SORRY#but it would have been fun to see crow-like defensiveness slowly break away to reveal a caring polite and kind man#or at least a slow understanding of lucanis-language. like he said 'i dont care' but he meant 'i dont mind'#raised by a grieving and also repressed old italian woman will do this to you#thoo. i was pleasantly surprised at how sweet he was in the game to start but i think parallel wise this could have been fun is all#veilguard spoilers#dragon age#and also really sorry that this was brought upon by someone calling him a pursedog man in tags#which was very funny for 5 minutes and then i was like actually i can do something with this
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forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.
#or just the moral dilemmas#rewatching amc interview is kind of making me insane#that moment in episode two when louis is looking for a sort of assurance in the fact that lestat may actually have some good in him#look at how he cares about music look at the simple wondrous things that can bring him joy#and then the immediate dread when the opera performance turns out to be imperfect because he knows how lestat will react to *that*#I think there’s also something really interesting in the highlighting of lestat upbraids the less skilled singer before killing him#(slowly)#but also I will wait to watch more before I articulate my thoughts#vampires#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#I do still find the lestat and claudia film and novel dynamic by far the most compelling for how she tries to usurp him but almost to be him#but I’m enjoying this#I’m very curious if I will like show claudia more on rewatch#the movie always resonated most with me (sue me lol) because there seemed to be more simultaneous fondness and attachment even at the end#dark stories of the north
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I should be allowed to get a "skip pointless and stupidly forced romance" button in everything I watch ever
#pls what the fuck#this is the most boring and pointless shit ever#oh my fucking goddddddd#im such a hater#stiff talk#sorry no but like. at least make it believable and interesting#this is just the typical “oh a man and a woman interacted so they must kiss” shit#pleaseeee for fucks sake can i get a show or a movie without romance.... please..#does anyone have any recommendations actually. very rarely do i enjoy the romance they put in stuff#i want smt whete i wont have to roll my eyes over stupid romance#aromantic#and TIRED OF ROMANCE BEING EVERYWHERE LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEE
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Brand new God
#this is actually a character who I put a lot of thought into design-wise and is something I'm very attached to#I can ramble about it if anyone is interested#characters
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Appleseed PDA montage to save you from reading endless pages of unimportant politics that don't amount to anything
also because I have nothing better to do, I'm bored, I'm moody, my gaming laptop is still broken so no BG3, and it's too late at night to start drawing after doing animation clean-up all day.
#Manga#Appleseed#Shirow Masamune#80s#This is literally every single one of these moments in the entirety of the manga's run#including bonus material#There's some great character writing hidden among all the infodumping and technobabble as well#But like I said before all it accomplishes is to make you frustrated#Because despite being written so well#Masamune was more interested in waxing philosophical than actually giving his characters the attention they deserve#Despite them displaying an insane amount of depth and complexity whenever they are able to#it's a very rare case where the characters are EXTREMELY well written and almost every moment they are on screen is amazingly well done#But the manga keeps demanding you listen to completely different side characters talk about politics for endless pages#while at the same time none of these politics have any consequence or relevance to the actual stories that happen on screen.#So it ends up with the majority of the manga is like listening to some guy you don't know on the bus reading the headlines of a newspaper#at you about political tension between two countries you have never heard of and will never feature in your life again#How do you write such great and well written characters and then be completely disinterested in actually putting them on screen?????
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feetman
#hlvrai#half live vr but the ai is self aware#gordon freeman#gordon feetman#so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne#but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy#cause like to me#a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like#no actual stakes#dude is getting pissed for the sake of it#he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know#now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing#or how he got the game#is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows!#hes The Player#also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons#its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao#also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit#and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi#i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis#sorry for long tags
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