#but it is about the myspace accounts so it goes here

[ube-bluebay]

was reminded of 5’5” / more to love again. i will never recover

[genericpuff]

Turns out it's been a while since I've talked about Rachel's medical fetish art so it came as a shock to people when I mentioned it in the last post (I've got quite a few asks about it lmao) So I'm gonna enlighten y'all real quick on what I'm referring to, and yes, it's probably exactly what you're thinking of when you hear the word 'medical fetish'.

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF MEDICAL FETISH ART AND DEPICTIONS OF NEEDLES!!!!

So the name "used_bandaid" is one Rachel started using back in the early to mid 2000's. She went by a LOT of different pennames back then, including but probably not limited to:

Pepper_maid

madame_issue

Usedbandaid/used_bandaid

Rach Alex

Rachel Royale

Raquel

Medical Tophat/Medical_Tophat

Frill_house

Gingerbreadcoffin (? this one's kinda weird because the link itself with this username just goes back to her used bandaid MySpace account , so idk if she ever actually used it or if it was even affiliated with her lol)

Now you're probably about to ask, "Puff, how do you know these are all her?" and that's because Rachel still had all of these accounts interlinked through her projects, primarily The Doctor Pepper Show. She seemed to change up usernames often just for the hell of it.

Anyways. I'm not gonna show much of it here because I do think it's better to leave certain things in the past, but there's a LOT of her old work that implies the stuff that's questionable/problematic in LO has always been a part of her identity as an artist (DDLG, hot pink self-insert MC, etc.)

One such example is "madame issue":

This is such a 3-in-1 smoking gun for everything we see in LO. The reference to bandaids (see: used bandaid, which was part of her URL slug for her old flickr where this drawing comes from), the hot pink color palette, and of course, the fact that this character is almost DEFINITELY a self-insert of Rachel, thanks to that shared name.

She's also stated in old commission/print posts that Madame Issue was the one print she wouldn't sell.

She doesn't explicitly say why but I think it's pretty safe to assume it's because Madame Issue is her.

We also have Eva, "the queen of medical fetish". And the tags are... pretty self-explanatory.

That said, that's as much as I'm gonna go into with her old art, because a lot of it does get quite personal with her and I don't really think it accomplishes much more to continue digging up old skeletons, at least not unless they can be seen as parallel to LO (which some of them are and I'll likely be sharing more of those ones in a later post).

That said, there ARE still pages that are accessible without the use of the Wayback Machine that advertise her as a medical fetish artist without the need for extensive digging. If you search up The Doctor Pepper Show on Google, you'll actually find a reddit thread asking what happened to Rachel's old work, and there are comments with loads of resources to access her pre-LO content. You'll also find the listing for The Doctor Pepper Show on The Webcomic List, which literally describes it as a medical fetish comic: "This is a comic set in a world where evil doctors rule, girls wear frilly underpants and people use their manners. *May I please blow your f**king head off?* This comic features Gothic dandys, EGL (Gothic lolitas) and medical fetish fashion. (Neo victorian setting)"

I'll let y'all do your own digging from here, there's a LOT to unpack honestly and while I can't keep you from doing your own research, practice due diligence with what you choose to share. Again, I don't think it's a crime in and of itself for Rachel to want to distance herself from her past as a medical fetish artist, so I think it's only really relevant to show the things that are clearly still influencing LO (like her love for the movie Lolita or the very clear sexualization of youthfulness). While we can try to leave the past where it is, she does still write LO with a lot of the most problematic features of her former identity, and it makes it all the more bizarre that if she is trying to distance herself from it all, then why would she stick with one of the pennames that's the most easily tied back to medical fetishism?

TL ; DR: Rachel started off online with medical fetish and gothic lolita art (at least as far back as we can trace it) and elements of that past are still present in LO today. Use that info responsibly lol

[itsmeelenoryayy]

This is kind if a rant post but i just have to get this off my chest what ive seen in the creepypasta/marble hornets fandom is how much some people write Tim/masky as like this very toxic and rude person who just dosent gives a shit about anyone and thats where you can really see who acually watched marble hornets and who didn't i get it not some people acually have the time the watch the whole thing but hey am here to help with that and talk about his caracter a bit

So Tim basicly grew up in a mental hospital and took medication for a long time he had seizures hallucinations and just really bad stuff honesly and hes been tormented by the Operator from a very young age and the hospital he was staying at as a kid burnt down but he goes back to the place pretty offen (he even haves a panic attack and halucinates that the Operator is there wich was honesly way too realistic and scary) he and Brian are frends but Masky and Hoobie are NOT frends Hoobie does everything in his powers to work aginst the Operator and aginst Tim, Hoobie even takes away Tims medication once and we can see him having a seizure (wich was also very scary pls give this man a break)

Now that we kinda got his backstory out of the way lets talk about his personality he comes off as very rude and sassy to people at first and he just seems to hate when people try to get closer to him wich let me tell you something thats a trauma respons my dear people who ware treated badly and got blamed for everything in ther childhood offen push people away in order not to hurt them since Tim blames himself for everything that hapened to Alex Brian and Jay (wich something i do not belive to be true) hes like those people who would rather have you hate him then be disapointed in him but if you somehow manage to spend more time with him you can kinda see how caring he can be its hard to see it but i still see it in him he cares very deeply for the people he loves (he literally give half of the pills he had to Jay when thats basicly what keeps Tim alive and away from a possible seizure) even tho he pushes everyone away he hates begin alone and on his own but i think if you know him enough he will finaly show his true caring self even if he lets somebody get somewhat close to himself he does some things that he wievs as "the best for them" but ends up accidentaly hurting people while trying to protect them he also smokes i forgot to say that

Now for the caracter of Masky we don't acually know much about him we never acually hear anyone calling him Masky in mh i don't know if the creators said it or its a fandom thing hes very agressive but still somewhat smart and hes not on anyones side but dosent nececarrly works aginst the Operator hes very agressive and we never acually hear him talk i like that headcannon that Hoobie is selectively mute and i think that Masky isint hes just an asshole and sees no reason to speak

Also a random fun fact about his caracter he can play the fucking banjo and he haves something what Alex calls "the music room" wich is just a room with instruments pluss one of the creators said that all of them have myspace account wich is super cool i would wanna see what Tims Myspace account looks like

Yeah thats it let me know if i sould add anything also there is this creator rabbit or rib who i think portraits him very well go check her content out shes very awsomesauce i hope that helped byeee

[aroceu]

some thoughts on leaving a social media website...again

as of 10/16/2024, twitter has announced its intention to implement a new feature into the platform: instead of blocking allowing you to block certain accounts from viewing your profile if it's public, it now just... doesn't do that anymore. it only limits interaction. though this certainly isn't a surprise with musk's twitter rollouts since 2021—when i first saw people start to trickle out—this, in particular, breaks a lot of users boundaries and has prompted many to private their accounts and move to bluesky.

i'm in support of this, btw—the ceo of bsky is strongly opposed to ever running any sort of ads on the site ("won't enshittify the network with ads"), doesn't use any blockchain technology, and has a culture where supplying alt text on images is the norm. your main timeline is in reverse-chronological order (like intended), but there are other separate options to create a custom algorithmic feed for certain types of content, only if you wish to. though bsky is a work in progress, i have high hopes for what it can be in the future: that is, usable, practical, and more reminiscent of what it was like when twitter first started, than how twitter currently is.

but despite my love for bluesky, i won't spend too much time glazing yet another microblogging platform. instead, i'm here to ponder the concept of social media: why we have it, why we use it, and why these moves happen in the first place. people have been trickling in and out of twitter ever since the richest and evilest man in the world took possession of it; especially in a fandom sense, there's been a back and forth between twitter and tumblr due to tumblr's former porn ban, as well. we all have principles and morals that guide the decisions we make, including what websites we decide to use. they speak to a pattern of not only our culture as people at any given time—but how these platforms have the power to implement these changes whenever they want. and we, as individuals, must make decisions both based on those principles, but also our desires to fit in.

i'll start off by saying this—eventually i'm going to start talking about what social media means for creatives. but there is in fact an extremely well-written article about this already that goes into more detail. if you're more interested in that, let me direct you there first: R U AN ARTIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? by omoulo

with that out of the way, let's talk about me, shall we?

i got onto the internet through geocities—crazy sentence to say now after all these years. of course, i played neopets and flash games like many other kids, but that was mostly through knowing those websites and urls existed, and preserving them in my mind so i could return to them for some mindless minutes of entertainment later. geocities was my first introduction to the creative, user-designed web, so to speak. instead of being a number to interact with a thing that someone else has made—a flash game, a youtube video, a website where you can collect fictional pets—the idea of geocities to me at the time was this idea of participating on the internet. being a part of it. writing whatever i wanted and posting it. sharing the link with others. having others find it and read it too—a part of me, my method of creative self-expression, whatever i desired to write and post on the less than permanent internet.

my best friend at the time was the one who needled me into creating accounts—first an email address, then an AIM, then a myspace, then an IMVU, so on and so forth. i wasn't going out looking for these, and though i'd heard of them before or seen ads of some of these sites, i wasn't interested in actually being on these platforms and making these accounts until my friend told me that i should. call me a people pleaser or easily influenced or whatever; i was 12. but it was through this link sharing, this naivety and ignorance of the vastness of the internet, that allowed me to be fascinated with the world wide web in the first place.

i usually cite quizilla as my first "fandom" website, because it was—but it wasn't because i found it by accident. it wasn't that i googled it or looked for a personality test and stumbled upon it. no, it's because i was chatting with a friend on AIM, and she had found some crazy chain letter story and shared it to me for how absurd it was, and sent me the link. it was on quizilla.

literally the moment i clicked that link changed my life forever. even though i read the crazy story, i also clicked on the username of the person who posted it, out of curiosity. that person had jonas brothers fanfics on their quizilla profile, of all things, which led me into an obsession with the jonas brothers in the 2 years that followed. through that link—that account—that platform—i got a lot more interested in writing, webdesign, and what it meant to be on the internet, not just as a numbered participant, but also as someone with an imagination, who finds fulfillment in creative expression. i wrote the longest thing i'd ever written in that time (30k of a self-insert, but we won't go into that), began to experiment with css and website design, and participated, sharing stuff that i thought was interesting or fun, worth 5 minutes of anyone's time.

the internet wasn't just about being a place where my presence didn't matter anymore—it became a medium of self-expression. more than that, it became a place where i could meet and socialize with people, especially as i developed avpd in my high school years.

the internet wasn't always like this. right now, when we talk about the internet, we don't talk about the random websites we find, the links we stumble upon. (i have an entire website dedicated to those for me, though.) the games we spend hours playing, by ourselves, without interacting with others. random personality tests, or just simply the news. we talk about google, but in the same way we talk about facebook, or even twitter. it's a verb; it's omnipresent; it exists within the context of our internet culture, but becomes meaningless outside of it. it's not to say it doesn't have meaning—but that the language we use represents our relationship with it, this assumed normalcy. this assumed dependence.

i bring up my own history because as young as i feel compared to many of my older internet friends, and how late to the game i always felt—i was there. i was there on the internet before twitter (since 2009), tumblr (since 2010), facebook (i lied about my age), bluesky now, and whatever will come in the future. i was there when people were saying that the internet was still being written; when websites were made with tables (eugh); when email was the primary way to connect with others, because irc was for nerds and nothing else had been invented yet.

i'm a big advocate for not looking at the past with rose colored glasses and getting caught up in nostalgia and greener grass. i believe that technology is not inherently harmful or bad—it creates more options for accessibility, especially for those who are disabled. and even outside of that, it allows us to learn about more people, communicate with others with a few keystrokes, and form relationships that we otherwise would never get to have. i don't want this to seem like i'm saying "man remember how good the internet used to be?" because i'm not—i believe that as things change, there are benefits as much as there are hindrances.

of course, it bears saying that the primary hindrance—of current twitter, of many platforms over the years, and the internet with increasing recency—is corporations. big money interests. capitalism.

it's why we get so tired of ads—it's why ads exist in the first place. it's why these social media platforms that used to feel like they were made by the same people who would use them (livejournal, youtube, twitter) have suddenly become these soulless impersonal websites. it becomes more obvious that they want you to use them more because they sell you on exclusivity and visual minimalism, rather than because that's where your friends are, and you have this unique way to express yourself.

in fact, i'll say this: the first time i learned about facebook when i was too young to use it, i was not impressed. i had a myspace at the time that i had dolled up to make pretty with sparkly gifs and obnoxious colors and weird fonts. when i saw how boring and samey everyone's facebook profile page was, i was like, what's the point? sure i could talk to my classmates and random other people in my life that i didn't really care about, but what about making myself different from others? what about my creative expression? what about having an account that makes me look unique, instead of blending in with everyone else?

and so here i am nearly two decades later pondering about the use of social media, our individuality as well as our collective interests, and how the internet has changed so much, both in itself and how it affects us, in that time.

i'm here because i want to talk to my friends and meet new people with common interests and get excited about them. i don't want to feel left out, but that's a normal experience—outside of fomo, it is in our core to connect with others. it's the whole meaning of everything. it's why i even made an email in the first place, in my basement with my best friend, secretly setting up a yahoo account because she wanted another way to talk to me, and i wanted another way to talk to her. it's why people have been leaving twitter little by little for another site—the same site as many others, because that's where all their friends are. whether it's bsky or mastodon or misskey or just back here on tumblr, we're here not just because of our desire for community, but even as simple as our desire for a bond, a relationship with another human being. to me, that is how "social media" is defined—a medium through which we socialize because of this innate desire.

and yet, of course the enshittification and corporatification makes this more difficult for us, in ways more than one. because the fact is that as we (as people) became better at using the internet, finished writing it, and understood it—psychologically and sociologically—so did the corporations. or advertisers, you take your pick. we, the everypeople who use the internet as means to fulfill our social and other self-indulgent desires, are not the only people here. as with many things else in the world, the internet turned from an unpredictable but fun mess of us figuring shit out as we went along, into a product designed to keep us using it and engaging with it more, so some rich people can put even more money into their pockets. it's why twitter is the way it is now; even why tumblr is the way it is. why social media has become about "content creation" and "small businesses." why it feels like, every day, we see more ads and AI generated bullshit, as a little bit of the original soul of the internet gets sucked away day by day.

but even there, i don't want to come across as cynical or world-weary. though i believe this to be true, i don't think it says anything about our lack of agency, or our lack of innate humanity. instead, i believe that this means, at least on the individual level, that we should think more about not only what we're doing on the internet, but why we're doing it. how we're doing it. are we here because we're addicted? or is there something we're getting out of it? sure, many websites now have more addictive UI and algorithms that tell the receptors of our brain to return to them because we were getting so much dopamine from them earlier. but i also wouldn't necessarily argue that the only solution to this is to, then, go offline.

i have many friends who've elected to depart social media but stay online—friends who i met through website building, to be fair, but that's one of my main points. i already wrote a manifesto on my love letter to the personal website; but the tl;dr is this:

the internet is not evil, it is not good, it is just a form. if we desire to express ourselves and socialize with others in this space, it does not have to be just about social media, and creating a new account on a new website every time people move. instead, we have personhood—we have individuality, we have agency. we have the ability to build our own websites, no matter how shitty or times new roman comic sansy or color clashy or sometimes inaccessible they can be. regardless of all these seeming impractical setbacks though, it does not absolve us of that ability to do whatever we want on the internet. and it also bears saying that websites, both the personal and impersonal, can change over time, for better or worse.

i am a huge proponent for people making their own personal websites. it makes me so so happy that neocities is gaining popularity, mostly because i love seeing people try their own hand at making a website for themselves, a new form of self-expression. i won't go into too much detail on this because i've already said everything i want to say about it (see above), but if you take away anything from this post, let it be this: consider making a personal website, a corner of the internet, for yourself, by yourself. not just because you want people to engage with it, or because you want to curate to an algorithm or an artistic/fannish trend. not because you want the things you make to gain traction, to get bigger numbers without considering the people behind those numbers, as soon as possible.

do it because you want to. because you have to. because you think it's cool, and because it's you. people may find it and judge it; but they may like it as well. the more unique and authentic and weird we are with each other, the more we are able to appreciate each other for who we really are. the internet is one of many places we can do this.

i don't really see these forms of self-expression separate from social media, but i do see social media separate from it. to me, social media is a vehicle to strengthen those connections, those relationships, much like DMs and IRCs; but it is not the be-all, end all of the internet. it's only a small part of it. not everything is permanent on the internet; but everything that ever has been online is a microcosm of the human experience, whether it's an old cloudflare site or twitter dot com in 2010.

our experiences on the internet are not about corporate interests. it's about using limewire to download pirate music, sharing random links we find, building a design that may not be practical or universally appealing but still represents a form of individuality. when i think of how the internet has grown, i don't think about what it means for companies or advertisers or what meetings must go on to get people like me to keep using it—i think about remembering the difference between addicting games dot com and addicted games dot com, clicking links on websites to find even more websites, sitting at the family computer and deciding if i wanted to spend hours on neopets or that one willy wonka flash game i grinded like several hours on one night when i was 7. i think about what it's always meant to me, because the internet was not always a centralized place where i was going on the same website every day. the rise of internet centralization to the point that it's become expected, the norm, the primary way any of us to be online, is not inherently a bad thing—but i wouldn't say it's a universal good, either, when the internet is a wide and vast space, and can be so much more than that.

because the one thing that remains throughout the years is our agency and choice. we still have the ability to make the internet what we want it to be, or at least a corner of it, something separate from the corporations, the enshittification, economically researched user interfaces and experiences, the advertisements, the "like and share so the algorithm boosts me more." there's still a point to it all without the money, and without twitter. and it's both our desire for creativity and self-expression, as well as our intrinsic bonds with each other. despite it all, it's about our humanity.

as the internet continues to grow, so do we. nevertheless, the importance of our humanity, and retaining it, will remain. oftentimes it is up to us to remind ourselves of that.

-

links here, for access:

Bluesky CEO Jay Graber Says She Won’t ‘Enshittify the Network With Ads’

R U AN ARTIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? by omoulo

links @ kingdra.net (my links, like bookmarks)

A manifesto of sorts; or, my love letter to the personal website by me

[behindthcmall]

☆ –– (priscilla quintana, she/her, cisgender female) who is AUGUSTA RIVERA anyways? ew. you don’t know about HER, we’ll bet you want to. they’re feeling 31 and WRITING IN A JOURNAL feels like a perfect night to them. rumor has it they’re OVER EMOTIONAL and GUARDED because they care, but they’re also LOYAL and FUN-LOVING in the best way. SHE works to make a little money as a(n) POETRY COLUMNIST FOR THE NEW YORKER. they’ve rented a place on cornelia street in the form of WOODVALE APARTMENTS. AUGUST (MUSE B) and THE LAKES (MUSE A) are the songs they could dance to the beat of forevermore. (ooc info: tee, 29, pst, she/her.)

Hi loves, I’m Tee and I’m thrilled to be here! I’ve been creeping this group for a while and waiting for the timing to be right. I felt, as a huge Taylor fan, it’s my obligation to join (and fun fact, it’s my nine year anniversary today of being Taylurked!)

Anyways, this is Augusta. She’s still a slight work in progress, but here’s some basic info about her (more to be added as it's developed):

Name: Augusta Rivera. Age: 31. Date of Birth: TBD, I'm an astrology hoe that needs to let her cook before determining. Hometown: Cathedral City, California. Gender, Pronouns: Cisfemale, She/her. Sexuality/Orientation: Pansexual. MBTI: TBD, but most likely XNFP. Job: Poetry columnist at The New Yorker and MFA grad student at NYU. Residence: Woodvale Apartments.

Facts:

Augusta is from Southern California and the daughter of Mexican immigrant parents.

She loves writing, especially poetry. She was definitely one of those teens who had a “deep” poetic Instagram/twitter/MySpace (she's a millennial, LBR here) account that was literally terrible and overdramatic. However, she’s been honing her craft and gotten to a point where she can’t see herself doing anything else.

As the story goes, she met James during a summer trip to New York to visit relatives that live in the state. It was a whirlwind romance in her eyes, and a special summer of firsts: first trip to her dream university (NYU), first time dipping her foot in the Atlantic Ocean, first head over heels love for another woman. It was very eventful for baby teenage Augusta, and when it ended, it lowkey ruined her life.

She's been trying to put that summer in the past, but it always seems to creep its way into her life, whether it's through her poetry or her trust issues.

Augusta comes off as very naturally fun loving and charismatic, but she's more what you'd call an introverted extrovert. She really shines when she's surrounded by people she trusts and loves.

She started her university career in SoCal, but her dream was always to end up at NYU. She was accepted there and got her butt on a plane so she could start working on her Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing. She's making money through publishing work through the New Yorker (and realistically, she's probably another job too. TBD as I think of it.)

Wanted Connections:

The Folklore Love Triangle - If you're the Betty, James and/or Inez and we haven't chatted yet, you know what's up. Let us brainstorm the whole thing.

Literally anything/everything. She likely hasn't been in New York for that long (I imagine a few months, if that) but she's probably travelled there quite a few times over the years, so I'm open to plotting anything. Feel free to IM me and we'll chat.

[magiccifi]

I just saw the new teaser that was released at some sort of convention and I’m not elated nor am I unhappy…I’m pleased to hear/see more tho!

Here are some things that I’m hoping with the reboot so far (or just simply thinking about):

Warning potential spoilers!!!

I hope that the animation gets polished a bit more; I’m very hopeful on this considering the show isn’t coming out til next year, and any sort of developing polishes a product as time goes on, even if the deadline is soon

I have already seen people be a bit concerned about the mention of social media, with I also am a bit; it’s important to remember that winx came out during a time in which MySpace was very popular and Facebook was both a rising platform and at some point in the winx running time THE social media to be on, which was not really that reflected in the show; so I’m hopeful that social media and it’s presence will either a) be limited to earth and magix/alfea doesn’t have much or b) the creators won’t lean to heavily into it but will be present in magix/alfea

I definitely can see the girls having their own social media accounts, but I don’t think that social media will be too heavily present considering the winx is all about being fairies and defeating evil with friends and you don’t have much time being an influencer doing all that

I do think we have to accept that social media overall has a much heavier presence in the life of people, inducing children (which I do think make up a core of the target demo of the show, accept it or not 🤷🏾‍♀️) compared to the 2000s; it makes sense that it will be at least mentioned here and there

if the reboot gets far, pls do not kill nabu 😫 I didn’t get that far into winx just yet, but I hate that he dies nevertheless

While I’m not the biggest fan or hater of the animation/style of the girls, idk how well it will look on the specialists…

I was very repulsed when bloom smiled at mitzi in the clip, did not like that at all; I pulled the same face when she smiled when I played totk and that one cutscene shows ganondorf’s big ass feet ew; that part of the animation is really off putting…so no more smiling!

I do like that it seems that bloom’s background as a normal girl will be shown before she learns about being a fairy; it also gives us a better idea of mitzi in terms of a school bully rather than some weirdo that is mean to some girl on the street lol

THE LOGO IS STUNNING!!! 10/10 BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE TEASER

look at it!!! (Got the pic from user @/wingsofthe on Twitter)

I saw the prototype of the same scene and have to say, prefer the prototype more but I’ll keep an open mind until the show is actually out; the hair is 100% an improvement tho

with the expectation that the reboot will be good and do well, I demand to have comics similar to manga volume style, not the small thin ones; imagine how beautiful they could be 😍

…someone on Twitter pointed out that Sirius black’s (ya know from Harry Potter) wanted poster can be seen in the background of the bathroom scene…they wildin’ in Italy 😀

Could be a little wink to the German dub referencing Harry Potter in season 1 lol

Someone on Twitter also made a point about Stella being the fairy of the sun AND THE MOON; hope the reboot focuses on Stella’s relationship with her mother and the adjunct powers in the same way they did with her and her father

Anyways the winx are back baby!!!

[sayingyournames]

for the ask game 23, 48 & 62 for you wouldn't like me, pleaseee <3

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

it really depends on the story, but for the most part endings are the hardest for me. it’s a combination of not wanting to let go of the universe i’m writing in, and having anxiety about tying up the loose ends. lately i’ve been less worried about that, and more comfortable just - leaving things up to reader’s interpretation, not spelling everything out. for every fic i’ve posted so far, i wrote one big scene and then worked the rest of the fic around that, so middles are the easiest.

48. Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

sirius, my love, my baby - writing him is my absolute favorite. when i started in this fandom, though, i initially thought i related to remus more and would mostly write from his pov but every time i tried it just didn’t feel right, so i’ve mostly avoided it since then. foxfire is gonna be remus pov though and i’m a little nervous about it, but it’ll be a fun change.

62. In [you wouldn’t like me], is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included?  Why did it get cut?

oh there’s so many. literally every other day i think of things i want to add in but they just don’t make sense in the main fic. what’s where the b-sides come in - one-shots and drabbles of various scenarios for the gang that i’ll post here and there after the main fic is done! here are some examples of what i’ve already got planned for those:

* lily goes to the library with sirius and teaches him to make a myspace account * remus & sirius go to a concert together, maybe a music festival? * sirius attempts to take nudes with his flip phone *remus getting his knuckles tattooed and sirius being very into it *absolutely filthy smut in various settings, includingg sirius getting a new harness and strap and remus kindly letting them test it out on him <3

but if y’all have any requests or prompts for the b-sides, please let me know - i’d love to write them!

[dearest-painter]

OMG THANK YOU SOOO MUCH AND HERE ARE MY HEADCANONS IF THEY WERE IN OUR PRESENT TIME:3

GYARU!READER

They would definitely do and film grwm routines but some of them being “grwm to go fight someone”

And also “GRWM about talking about stuff I hate”

Used to work at Sephora cause they argued and fought one of the customers

Now miserably works at Waffle House and hates how the stuff gets under their acrylic nails

Has had a fight with someone over the cloths they were gonna buy and yandere romantic Gary ended up being their getaway driver or him helping gyaru!reader while acting like he hates them

Only uses emoticons when insulting someone

Has Ratio many people on twitter

Goes live while doing their hair and user12638627 joining in, definitely not yandere romantic Gary(or Gary would use his account while typing in Hate, but has a whole collection of gyaru!readers vids saved on tiktok secretly)

A lot of pics of them and their clothing check are on Pinterest and the gyarus Pinterest users loves them

Cries like Trisha paytas

SCENE!READER

Is very popular on MySpace

Does tutorials on how to do kandi like different types of bracelets, purses, keychains, ect

Also does grwm on tiktok but on YouTube it’s kinda long(example:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-MToB72v6_0&list=LL&index=1&t=61s&pp=gAQBiAQB)

Did a tiktok of them and Jimmy and Pete, all together, dancing to nightcore version of be my bad boy or everytime we touch(which got like 1 million likes)

Ether ignores a hate comment or just reply’s to them with ”:3” or any emoticon

But yandere platonic Gary goes after those who types hate comments and stuff like “wrist reveal” and makes a lot of accounts terrorizing them and manages to find their bloodline on Facebook until they blocked him

Is followed by yandere platonic Gary, Jimmy, pete, the nerds, and Johnny on tiktok

Yandere platonic gary films a vid of him and his sibling(scene!reader) while it read “when you and your sibling has a different clothing style”

Does outfit checks

LOLITA!READER

Yandere platonic Jimmy does vids of him helping his younger sibling(Lolita!reader) with their hair

Their mom bought lolita!reader that lolita dress from Amazon and yandere platonic Jimmy had to explain to his mom the reason why it was wrong and that other people like Lolita!reader avoids that mistake and he ended up buying a different dress from bodyline, lace market, Taobao or any Lolita website cause their mom didn’t understand

Plays on roblox and the game being the most played by them would be royale high and them having a lot of expensive clothing sets on the game and playing with Jimmy along with Pete and surprisingly gary would play with them(but Gary would only play to ether troll or with the others because of boredom)

Roblox username is unicorngirl something

Ratios everybody who hates on their older sibling vids

Has told a kid(who they were arguing with)on roblox that they should shut up cause they are probably like 5 and should give their mom the phone back and that it’s bedtime

Has almost gotten lost by a crowd of people when them and Jimmy tried to go to their class cause a Tardy sweep was happening(and Jimmy had to hold on to their hand)

Argues with grown ass adults(only when they are being disrespectful to them or Jimmy)

Has an amazing reading level and is very smart for their age(Gary or the jocks definitely didn’t commented an 🤓 under a post of Lolita!reader and the schools post being about their intelligence while being young from the schools page)

Jimmys and Lolita!readers mom flexes about how Lolita!reader is the only gen alpha that knows how to read and spell and isn’t disrespectful (Lolita!reader birthdate is ether 2012, 2013 or 2014)

Thinks kids who goes to Sephora are dumb

Offoptic: right now I can imagine gyaru!reader doing their work on Waffle House while miserably trying to get the stuff out under from the acrylics and saying some storylines while getting ready, scene!reader giving yandere platonic gary, Jimmy, pete,the nerds some of the kandi they made, and the trio(Yandere platonic Jimmy, gary, and pete) playing fashion famous with Lolita!reader, and Gary being pissed that someone is copying him, and on shark attack, Lolita!reader and jimmy trying to kill the shark while one of them were yelling to drive faster to Gary and Gary being pissed and blaming it on Pete(at the end, the shark ends up catching them and killing yandere platonic jimmy and Gary while pete and Lolita!reader manages to get away by jumping off the moment the shark was about to eat them but they end up dying at the end when the shark finds them)

Omfg I love this so much but I do love the idea that Gyaru!reader warms up to it because of their coworkers but also the fact, they get free drama that finally doesn’t involve them

[karlyboyyy]

GUYS! I took next week off work. And I don’t necessarily have any plans except a couple of appointments. So for the love of all things can y’all PLEASE hold me accountable to actually work on art and not just sit here reading / watching tv?????!!

I have so many things I’ve been wanting to work on 😩

My own freaking webcomic. I’m coming up on a year since I first put it out there, and I’m only at 14 episodes. Plus I’ve been on a 6 month hiatus 🥴 I still lie awake at night thinking about the story and how I want certain scenes to be drawn out. But I can’t ever seem to buckle down and actually draw the damn thing. So it’d be nice if I could whip out another episode or two

My teenage SatoSugu piece. I started it but gave up after 20 minutes of trying to draw a specific facial expression 🙃 But I wanna draw them so bad! (A 2005 MySpace emo bathroom selfie, anyone?)

KazuRei! I drew something for Kazuki’s birthday back in May, but didn’t do anything for Rei’s birthday last month. My poor sweet baby Rei 😭 and I have a short & cute comic I want to draw (something something the fam goes on a proper visit to the zoo. Rei geeks out. Ya feel me? You see my vision??)

I’d really like to draw Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang (Link Click), but honestly have ideas lmao. Probably something soft and domestic to help relieve the pain of all the trauma and action of season 2 so far

I have so many other things I wanna draw but I feel like just finishing one of these would be an accomplishment 🥹

[merryjuan]

I deleted my facebook and Instagram heres the aftermath two months later

So back in May of 2021 my Facebook account was hacked and the hacker enabled 2FA. I explain it in detail here. Basically, if this happens to your Facebook account its extremely unlikely you will be able to recover your account or data. Incredible to me that a billion-dollar company would not have more caution for users’ data in this instance. So, I decided that I would not be getting a new Facebook account and even used google plus as an interim (RIP google plus). I just could not get over that Facebook would not be able to recover me my account despite multiple attempts at verifying my identity. I honestly wish for the day Facebook goes the way of myspace, why did we ever turn our back on my space? Tom, customizable websites, HTML and CSS, top friends, music on your page, way better than Facebook profiles even today granted Facebook did have some major improvements but still myspace was a good website with a lot of nice custom features and we still traded it for Facebook. In a way I felt a personal grudge against Mark Zuckerberg but continued to support him thru WhatsApp and Instagram. Up until May 2023 I had Instagram and WhatsApp. After some careful thinking I decided that I would delete those accounts too. It was something that I thought about for a while as it is a pretty big decision, but I ultimately decided this was a net positive for me. In the two months since I can say I have no regrets deleting these social media accounts. I still have twitter, TikTok and snapchat but I spend far less time on those accounts than I ever did on Facebook or Instagram, even since deleting my time spent on those apps have not changed and overall, my screen time is down to 30% less than what it was when I had Instagram and Facebook. I am considering a full social media purge but have yet to go thru with that. I will say that there are out of the nearly 1000 accounts of combined followers and following accounts there are only a few dozen people who I genuinely miss seeing there updates and ease of contact, some people who i may sadly never see or speak to again, but otherwise it has made no difference in my social life. In general the people who I don’t see often seem more happy to see me since my digital replica isn’t accessible anymore and the same goes for the people I see often. I also think that some people think I blocked them or something else and took it personal, not realizing I deleted my account for my own personal reasons that did not include any particular individual. Deleting your social media account is a big decision that you have to make for yourself, I would recommend downloading any available data before doing so. I’d also recommend reaching out to a few people personally you’d like to keep in touch with or to write a farewell post (I did the former) before closing a huge avenue of social interaction. There are still some people who I did lose contact with but that’s life, it goes on. Ultimately for me I think it has been a good decision and is another thing to add to the list of changes I’ve made during my journey of personal development. I’ve had no regrets my screen time has gone down giving me time to do other things instead and I feel more present overall in my day-to-day life.

[hayleybaaby]

Bringing back surveys!

Y’all remember back in the day, when MySpace bulletins were where we poured our hearts out in survey questions?!? It was totally fun lol I used to do this on my last Tumblr account. I can’t access it anymore, so I’m starting over here 🩷

Tired of those surveys made by high school kids? ‘Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Drank alcohol?’
Here are 40 questions for Grown Ups:

1.What bill do you hate paying the most?
it’s a tie between the light bill & land/vehicle taxes smh 🙄

2.Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
honestly y’all it’s been so long I literally do not know 😅😂 hubby & I’ve never been out without children lol y’all gotta think my oldest two existed when I met him, so it was never an alone moment 🙂‍↔️

3. What do you really want to be?
I always wanted to be a psychologist, but that’s too many years in school & now I’ve got too many kids lol so it’ll have to be a nurse probably.. I’m really leaning towards Lactation Consultant 🤱🏼

4. How many colleges did you attend?
just one, online.

5. Why did you choose the shirt you have on?
it’s actually a romper from Temu lol it’s all about comfort as well as accessibility… for a breastfeeding 2.5 year old 🤱🏼

6. Thoughts on gas prices?
I don’t have to worry about getting gas cus my husband & I currently share a vehicle 😂😩 it definitely isn’t convenient when all he does is work 12–15hr shifts & only has off on the weekends.. or I can drive him one hour one way (leaving my house, at the latest, by 4am.. with 4 children).

7. First thought when the alarm goes off in the morning?
since it’s still summer break for my oldest 2 kiddos, the only alarm I am currently having to hear is Monday — Friday to get up with my husband & make his breakfast n lunch for the day. It’s quite relaxing to know that I then don’t have to rush up two cranky kids at 6am to get them to their school bus (with our van that’s only meant to be on our road as it’s got some issues — now the worst part is that the battery is constantly dying, leaving me unable to get them to the bus stop on time). ⏰ my life is pretty simple tho I just wake up thankful for my husband who provides for us, my blessing of kids, & the fact that we’re never hungry or sick. But I’m not gonna lie, my mental health is a big factor when I wake up. A lot of times I have to forcibly remind myself of those amazing things in my life or I won’t want to move from the bed. Period. Having severe depression, severe anxiety, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, etc isn’t something fun to live with… like I’m forever battling my own brain 24/7.

8. Last thought you have before you go to bed?
are my children really happy? Am I doing my best? Then of course I think about my husband & his life as well. Is this what he wanted?!? 4 kids (2 bonus kids for him although he’s never considered them his stepkids) & a wife who solely depend on him whilst he pulls nasty trashcans in the hot sun for up to 15hrs a day with barely any peace at all…

9. Do you miss being a kid?
I took being a kid for granted. BiG TiME. I dealt with my mental health issues since I was very young, so I never got to truly enjoy my childhood. The freedom, the peace, the happiness, the absolute zero fkin cares in the world! I wasn’t depended on for anything lol & I had NO BILLS 💸 I literally thought that I knew what sadness n stress was bahaha NOPE 🙂‍↔️ now that I’m an adult, I do wish that I would’ve cherished my childhood & parents more. They weren’t perfect, but they loved me & only wanted what they thought was best for me. I was their main focus besides my sister. They kept the fridge full, lights/internet/Dish network/mortage/any other bills paid, worked, my Mama always cooked, & I had plenty of nice belongings. My Dad kept me with some of the latest technology (although he’s always been anti-Apple & it’s all I’ve ever loved lmao) & my mama always took me to the mall or good stores to buy us nice clothing! 🫶🏻 I was very blessed as a child. 🩷

10. What errand/chore do you despise the most?
the worst chore would definitely be the dishes 😂 I don’t get to run many errands cus I mean Rome is constantly working with the vehicle lol. But I hate dishes. Maaan. Not having a dishwasher is some BS 🖕🏻

11. Up early or sleep in?
tbh sleeping in is always my favorite 😩💜😅 but I’m forever up early now due to my husband’s job. He’s gone for usually like 15–16hrs; that’s usually plus the 1hr trip to & from. But oftentimes he will work a 15hr shift & be gone even LONGER. His days begin so fkin early & end insanely, miserably late…

12. Found love ?
yesss, in a few places. Specifically my beautiful children & hardworking, handsome husband 🥹 we’ve been together for 5 years on April 26th, 2019 & married for 3 as of March 23rd, 2021 💍👩🏼‍🤝‍👨🏾

13. Favorite lunch meat?
i love either deli sliced turkey or ham haha & I enjoy some buffalo chicken, too… I used to have a fave brand, but they don’t always have it anymore so I can’t ever get it smfh it’s Sara Lee but now all they ever have is Prima Della or whatever UUUUGGGGHHH.

14. What do you get at Walmart every time?
without fail, always fruits 🍎 🍌 🍉 🍓 & so much more lol like diapers, wipes, etc. but my kiddos will go through a large like $5 container of strawberries IN ONE SITTING. 🪑 it’s bs haha they eat an entire bag of oranges in one day as well as an entire thing of bananas. The grapes?!? Those don’t last 24hrs either. I hide the green & red apples in the back, but when they run outta immediate fruit, they go for these n they’re gone within 24hrs as well 🙂‍↔️

15. Beach or lake?
the beach 🏖️🌞🌊 it’s getting closer for our beach trip.. leaving on my birthday on Friday! ♋️ July 12th 🥳 but we also enjoy the lake trips we have with MawMaw (my mother). 🏊🏽‍♀️

16. Is marriage outdated?                                                                                                                                                              Most definitely not. 💍 if it isn’t your thing then okay, but I love being my husband’s wife🖤 it’s such a beautiful feeling. March 23rd, 2021–Forever ♾️

17. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Marilyn Monroe. 🤍 Y’all never said if they’re alive or not lol.

18. Ever crashed your vehicle?
yessss 🥺 the most traumatizing experience of my entire adulthood (other than my ex trying to take my life & abusing me, but I meant like I guess technically something that was in MY so-called control). it was my Mazda. I only had a GPS to rely on. It was back in April 2019, a few weeks before I met/began dating my husband. Either way, I was otw to get my iPhone fixed at the only local Apple Store.. my phone had broken the day before. literally over an hour away from where I was living at the time (with my parents in Prospect, VA). I’d just drove over the Chesterfield line when I ran off the road, & instead of past the white line to your right there wasn’t more pavement BUT GRAVEL. Idfk why they do this cus tbh it caused my wreck 😞 I was going probably 60–65mph (basically the speed limit cus I never speed with my kids). Instead of wrecking into a tree head on into the woods directly to my right, I overcorrected & flipped my car 5 TIMES into the median that separated both ways of traffic. I’m blessed cus it could’ve kept going & landed on the opposite side of traffic ☹️ my oldest 2 were my only children at the time. Miranda was 4 years old while Leonardo was only 2ish. I was told by the police & first responders that if I hadn’t properly strapped my kids into their seats, they wouldn’t have made it 💔💔💔 Same for me wearing my seatbelt. They told me that my lil car did her job protecting us & that if it’d had been a Honda, it would’ve balled ALLLL up (I used to drive a Honda before my Mazda, so that was a scary image). I couldn’t imagine man I smacked my head each time we flipped.. if my babies hadn’t been strapped in, omg.. they wouldn’t be alive. & all I could think at the moment in the accident was trying to get back there to my babies cus at this point I’d lost complete control of my vehicle & knew that there wasn’t anything else I could possibly do – when we finally stopped flipping, it was like.. slow mo. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t look in the backseat. I just had to get them out. My driver’s side was crushed in as well as my entire front windshield. My back windshield was completely blown out as well as most of the windows. I. Was. Petrified. I kicked out my passenger’s side door. The silence was deafening. Neither of them screamed. But after the door was ripped opened, I was met with 4 wild eyes. They were definitely terrified of course. My oldest claimed that she blacked out (that’s obviously not how she said it, but that’s what had to have happened cus when I asked her what she remembered she couldn’t tell me at all). My two year old began crying because obviously I’m in a state of real panic & terror. & he’d just been in a tragic accident. I instantly ripped them both outta their car seats. Other people on the road pulled over to help/comfort/figure out what happened. I couldn’t even fkin call 911 because my phone was broken, hence why I was even in the vehicle otw to where I was. I met one of my closest friends at the time (she lives & works in that area; I believe that she’d just gotten off from work at her teaching job). She sat with me after the police & EMS left. I was beyond grateful. We waited for my mother to pick me & the kids up. We couldn’t go anywhere cus after an accident, those car seats are basically useless. My mom & I were currently not on great terms cus we’d been arguing BADLY for several months. But I’ll never forget the fear in her voice & the relief when she finally got to us. Over an hour away, as I stated. I also believe that she was at work at the time it occurred, which was even farther from where I was located cus she worked the opposite way from where we lived. But either way, it was scary & I wish that we’d never had to experience it. Although my oldest two don’t remember, I do. It’s forever in my heart. Still makes me cry to this day! 🥺😪🤧 I posted some images from the wreck in this thread.

20. Strangest place you’ve brushed your teeth?
idk, at a campground I guess?!? lol like outside of our tent? 🏕️

21. Somewhere you’ve never been but want to go?
there’s quite a few places! I’d love to travel. I want to visit Italy (both of my grandmothers are Italian) & Egypt. I’ve always been fascinated with the pyramids, the beautiful people & culture. Then of course I’d love to take my kids to both Disney World & Disney Land 😀 I’d also LOVE to visit Mexico, as my oldest 2 children are 50% Mexican 🇲🇽 But idk I doubt it’ll ever be more than a fantasy cus my toxic, volatile, extremely abusive ex was deported there after he attempted to kill me (& some other really fking traumatizing things happened, in front of my then newly 3 year old & almost 1 month old). I try my best to educate my babies on their heritage, but I’m the white patent who isn’t super educated other than what she learned in Spanish class in 10th & 12th grade plus the college course I took. I do my own researching of course & I’ve got many Mexican mama friends online, but it’s definitely NOT the same.

22. At this point in your life would you want to start a new career or relationship?
I wouldn’t mind a career in a few years. I’ve got too many small children to care for right now. I’m truly more than likely going to pursue a career in nursing! It’s never too late 😃 especially as a recovering addict, I can assist with a lot of that stuff as well. But my true dream would to become a lactation consultant 🤱🏼 as a Mommy who’s been nursing for now about 10 years almost straight (I took off maybe a year because I’d weaned my firstborn son {my 2nd child} a little after 2 years old then fell pregnant with my 3rd child a few months later). Other than that, I’ve forever been producing breast milk 🥛 it’s something I’m insanely educated on & very passionate about 🤍🩷💛

23. How old are you?
I’ll be 30 on July 12th! ♋️ 🎂 🎉 🎈 🥳 🎁

24. Do you have a go to person?
it’s always my husband & then if not him, my mother. two of my biggest supporters 💜🖤 I also get a lot of love & support from my babies, especially my oldest. She’s always trying to comfort Mama 🥹

25. Are you where you want to be in life?
I’m honestly content with my life but could be happier if I was able to help my husband provide for our family. But I’m super happy to be a Mommy. I’m a young Mama, started having kids at 19… I never imagined that for myself tho. My dreams & plans were to attend college & become a psychologist! 👩🏼‍⚕️

26. Growing up what were your favorite cartoons?
rugrats, rocket power, hey arnold, pinky & the brain, ahhh monsters, courage the cowardly dog (a top fave), catdog, sssooo much more lol

27. What about you do you think has changed since you were a young kid?                                                                         Obviously my looks lol & maybe the way I see life now. I have much more to live for now as well 😊

28. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life?
F no lmao I was kinda like the weirdo loner kid who didn’t like nor trust anyone 🤣 I’d been hurt too many times & bullied ALL throughout my entire school education. I began fighting back tho in 8th grade 🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe a lil younger when two boys were picking on me during a test & I’d turned around, snatched one of the loser’s tests & threw it in the trash 🙃 the teacher literally smiled lol. Smh. But either way, I’d gotten into too many fights/trouble (I legit stayed in ISS & OSS plus detentions) my 9th grade year n Prince Edward threatened to expel me – they then “agreed” to suspending me the first 10 days of the 10th grade school year. My mama wasn’t having that 😭🫠 she pulled me from public school & enrolled me in our local dreaded, racist ass private school y’all lemme tell ya 😩😤 I couldn’t stand that place. I’d legit eat lunch in the bathroom. It was depressing. I didn’t really make friends either. I didn’t try to tbh. I begged to return to public school, & my mom made me promise that I’d stay outta trouble or she’d send me right back cus all she wanted was what was best for me! I did my best mostly throughout my 11th grade year. During my senior year, I kept skipping classes to go to work at my daycare job looool 😝 they literally tried to fail me cus I didn’t attend my last 2 blocks of the day (an English class that was combined into 2 blocks due to it being advanced English). I was very capable – I scored a perfect score on my SAT in writing. ✍️ But I wanted to go to work, & I was always depressed at schools. People try to always say (since we’re now all adults), “Hayley, you were so mean in school!” Naw, y’all bullied tf outta me, causing me severe anxiety & severe depression, which made me misunderstood 🫥 it’s cool tho I’m glad to have graduated cus I mean, I did well in school. I even received an academic jacket for having a certain GPA level in school 🏫 I wish that I’d participated more now that I’m an adult. Screw the jerks. I missed out on both proms as well as refusing to play sports with my schoolmates, & I was a lover of softball 🥎 once I aged outta youth league ball, I played one year for the private school (it was about favoritism & who your parents knew, so I NEVER got played). I’ll never forget when my school ball coach stumbled upon one of my youth league ball games & saw how much the team literally relied on me. My fave base was 2nd base & then I loved to pitch, but they literally put me EVERYWHERE! If they knew that the girl was a hard hitter, I’d be placed in the outfield to ground the ball or catch a popup 🤷🏼‍♀️😁 But I literally played every single base y’all one inning I’m on 1st base then next I’m pitching (I did a lot of pitching btw) then I’m on 3rd base & then next I’m in the outfield 🫠😂😅 I would get legit mad af cus I only wanted to play 2nd base 😒 But it was AMAZING. I loved my last year playing softball for PEFYA!

29. Are there times you still feel like a kid?
honestly..? Maybe. I mean. I don’t work. I don’t physically provide for my family. I literally have to rely on my husband’s income. It’s just.. stressful. When my youngest ones are old enough to go to school, I’m going to start working again. I haven’t worked since 2013, exactly 1 month before my oldest was born 👶🏽 it’ll be.. different 😵‍💫👀 but it’s worth it in the end.

30. Did you have a pager or one of those old flip phones?
I definitely wasn’t old enough for a pager lol 📟 But I had one of those cute lil badass pink flipphones that stayed charged up for DAYS! I received it for my 12th birthday 🥳 I’ll never forget how I was gifted it.. my dad took my sister n I up the road to check the mail more than likely, & otw back to the house, a phone starts to ring. My dad’s all grinning & excited. He finally hands it to me & tells me that it’s MY phone 📞 I was so hype lol back then those things were THE SHIIII 🔥 I remember when I went over on my texting limit & got in soooo much trouble when I was in 8th grade 😭

31. Was there a hangout spot when you were a teenager?
y’all. I’m from Farmville. Our “chill spot” in the early 2010’s was Walmart or the bowling alley 🤷🏼‍♀️🫠 & remember ya gotta be 21 to get in the bar to drink. So, a lot of us chilled at Walmart & would literally walk around it lmfao 🤣💀🤧 you’d think we’d have chilled at the park or maybe even tried to hang on the local university campus (Longwood), but nope. Walmart it was 🤪

32. Were you the type of kid you’d want your children to hang out with?
absolutely! I’m loyal AF & always have been 💕 to the point where I’ll genuinely make mistakes trying to defend or help you & instead possibly make the situation worse 😬🥴 I ride for my people.. I don’t have many close people in my life. It’s literally my husband, my 4 kids, & I speak to my parents. I have relatives I keep up with, but I mean, my CIRCLE is my family 🫶🏻 I also always stood up for my friends NO MATTER WHAT. I’d go to war behind them! I hope that my babies have amazing friends whom they are able to remain lifelong friends with. I never was able to have that..

33. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out to you?
most of them were total assholes 😅😆 but I did have two favorites. My 11th grade history teacher n my government/psychology teacher for 11th n 12th grade I believe.

34. Do you tell stories that start with when I was your age?
I definitely do this with my kiddos 😂😂😂 I cannot get over the fact that I’ll be 30 on Friday! It’s unbelievable at times 😱🤯🤬

35. Are you religious?
let’s get real right quick. I wasn’t raised in a super religious household. My dad will tell ya he’s a logical man & simply cannot find comfort in stuff like that, which was strange to hear recently from my Dad… cus growing up I always knew that he wasn’t a religious man or anything but didn’t know he thought the EXACT SAME WAY that I do! It’s interesting to hear. My mother says that she does believe in a God, that someone or something is definitely up there & there’s something after this. I truly wish that I could believe that 😞☹️ my life would be so much more positive. Instead, I live in constant fear of death cus I believe once you’re lying in the ground, that’s all. Ain’t nothing after this 😢 i want to spend every waking moment with my loved ones. I have to enjoy the time that we have 😪 I don’t want to think this way, but I’m a very logical person & so it’s hard to believe anything else. My husband was raised Christian but converted to Islam when he was a very young adult ☪️ I love that about him tbh it’s such a beautiful religion in itself. But idk I just don’t have the capacity to truly believe in that stuff.. why are there SO MANY RELIGIONS?!? Which one is real?

36. What’s your favorite subscription to watch?

I’m obsessed with Paramount+ right now. Binging The Challenge’s last few seasons since I got super behind when I moved in with my husband over 5 years ago! I was also trying to catch up on Are You The One? I love my garbage reality love trash TV 💕💕💕 I’m also in love with Discovery+ for the True Crime as well as YouTube Premium, my general go to. For the true crime as well plus music & my sleep sounds. 🎼

37. Are you into politics?

I was very into politics, for many years. Idk, kinda gotten outta them. Everyone’s fake af & it’s terrifying. But I fkin hate Trump. He’s the TERRORIST! He’s a racist bigot who says harmful things. People will literally try to defend this man’s “running” of the country due to gas prices being so low when he was in office in 2020.. cus.. well.. I DUNNO.. the fkin COVID PANDEMIC JUST HIT!?! 🤒 nobody was leaving the damn house! It’s scary. My children are ALL biracial. Oldest 2 are half Mexican while the youngest 2 are half black. They must learn that hatred is completely WRONG. I’ll never support that sh*t. I’ll never forget when I was finally old enough to vote! It was 2012. I’d just turned 18 back in July. Booooy, was I grateful that I had just turned 18 to be able to officially vote in the presidential election! 🗳️ I voted for President Obama, of course. Proudly ☺️

38. Do you own any animals?

Yes, we have a pitbull named Jax & then a so-called Frenchie named Prissy, but the older she’s gotten the more… bully she’s looking 😩😭 I don’t even like thinking about it! Spent all that money to more than likely have gotten straight up ROBBED 💔 we also have outside cats named Ren featuring her baby kittens, Princess, Kiko, Libby, & I can’t recall the other one’s name rn 🐈 I’m not a big fan of animals lately tbh they’re very messy & it’s difficult with 4 children. I’m doing my best, but wooooo 😮‍💨 I miss my ferret. She was amazing in every way & super easy to care for ☹️ I miss my girl.

39. Do you have any children?

Yes! 4 beautiful babies 🫶🏻 Miranda Analena (10 years old), Leonardo Eduardo (7 years old), Zarriah Devonne Lynn (4 years old), & Khaza De’Onte (2.5 years old). 👧🏽🧒🏽👧🏽🧑🏽‍🦱

40. What’s your favorite meal to cook?

I like to make chicken Alfredo or surf n turf 😋 🤤 also tacos n burritos or chicken quesadillas 🌯 the kids would prefer burgers, chicken sandwiches, chicken nuggets, pizza, & fries over a good ass meal tho lmao smfh 😅

[teenytinykittenbeans]

Well now...

Here I am on this site again. It's been a few years since I deleted my last account. It's been 15 years since I first joined tumblr. It was my second social media account (after myspace). I still remember learning about tumblr through one of my bestfriends, and then it just spread like wildfire during high school. It was back when WeHeartIt was the equivalent of Pinterest. We'd sift through so many photos to pick out the ones we liked, download them, then upload them to our tumblr "blog" (with absolutely no credit ICK). Back then, tumblr was fun. But also so toxic. The anon messaging feature was honestly a terrible idea for anyone under 18yo. There was so much nasty bullying. It gave people the ability to be really two-faced... But, it also connected us in a way myspace didn't. The openness of tumblr made you feel connected to others. Apart from seeing pictures of them, you saw photos of things they liked, pieces of poetry and quotes that symbolized what they were going through, you saw their interactions with others, you got to find out what kind of music they liked, you got to know other's sense of humor, etc. Idk. It was such an interesting environment, apart from the abusive anons.

And yeah, with my gen getting older, I think we stopped sitting on tumblr and started to go out and experience more things irl. We got jobs, we found new hobbies, some of us just needed change, some of us had kids, etc... The site just stopped feeling as special as it once did. A lot of kids I grew up on tumblr with drifted off... some of us deleted our accounts, and a few stayed...

I think I'm partially back here for the nostalgia. I don't know how long I'll stay. Instagram focuses too much on overall presentation and narrow branding. Tiktok is about playing a character and getting famous. Facebook is full of ads and dull. Snapchat hasn't been enjoyable for me in years. Pinterest is nice for inspiration, but it's system of sharing data based on an algorithm feels messy... And I think that's ultimately it. I miss caring about the people I'm seeing stuff posted by. I miss caring about genuine existences, online.

----

My life is so different now from what it was at 15yo. But some things remain the same...

I feel like I'm going through it again, in a similar way to what I experienced at 18. I've lost confidence in myself. I still have such a hard time believing long term goals can become reality, for myself. I'm scared I'm not capable of giving anything good back to anyone. I'm so emotionally unavailable, but really in need of therapy and mending. I'm completely disconnected from my families. I struggle with feeling like I'll ever live up to any standard, no matter how hard I try. I struggle with finding self worth outside of how others view me and treat me.

(Yeah, if you're a youngin' and you've got some kind of financial means of tackling your depression: please deal with it, asap. It comes and goes, but it never permanently goes away. You just learn how to live through it. I wish I had insisted I go to therapy, when I was in my teens, but I never knew I could insist on that from my parents. Mental health is a journey, and it's better to start it as early as possible.)

----

Another big change for me, from 15 to 30, is how many people aren't in my life anymore. People move away. People change friend groups after high school. People grow apart. People have kids... If you don't teach yourself small talk or how to connect with new people, you could end up feeling pretty alone.

People also die, way too early. People die that you once didn't get along with, and you cry because it's still heartbreaking to hear. People die that you once laughed with and loved like a sibling. People die that you once had the biggest crush on. People die that you once were just casually friends with...

It makes me realize, more and more each time, that life just happens. You can plan on things. You can schedule events. You can build the life you want. You can just go with the flow. But ultimately, we're not completely in control of our lives, no matter what we do.

It's always devastating finding out someone else has passed away too early. It always feels unreal and unfair.

March 5-6th, 2023

[daymusik]

🐾 Watch the audio visualizer here: https://youtu.be/dh9YhvDaQVI 🐾 Purchase this song here: https://daymusik.bandcamp.com/track/mi-burrito-sabanero-2022-edit ▶ I revisited a Hispanic traditional classic; this time, with a little more confidence in my singing and a new video effect to experiment with! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ óÓÒò 🐾 That's right, everyone! I've returned with another cover of this song, and this time -- wait, hang on a second... *checks my YouTube channel*. Oh. It would appear as though I didn't actually make a video for my last cover of this song, or if I did, it isn't up anymore. I thought I did, honestly. Huh. Well, maybe that just goes to show how diffident I was about sharing that version of the song. It is apparently available on my Bandcamp and Soundcloud, so if you followed me there, you would have heard it. This version, however, involves so much confidence in my singing that, if you listen closely, you can hear me clipping my microphone because I've never sung loud enough to think I'd need to account for that! LOL But for real, though. I learned a little bit after the first take about singing better. I still have a long way to go, but I wanted to show off what I was really capable of by remaking this cover and really giving it my all. My favorite part, however, is the added 8th vocal that enters at the end. I wanted to add an extra, flashy harmony part and record that vocal without actually using a reference like I usually do. I was listening to the song and it just came to me! And, yes, speaking of an 8th vocal part... 🐾 In case anyone was wondering, each part of this song is sung by me. In total, there are 8 individual vocal parts... technically, I guess. As I mentioned before, I learned a few things, not just about singing, though, but about vocal mixing, as well. I do believe this was my first attempt at incorporating such a technique after learning about it. There are 6 uniquely recorded parts in this song. Two of which have been duplicated and panned to each side to give them a wider effect, making a total of 8 instances of my voice. I wanted to illustrate this endeavor in some way for this video. Personally, I thought about recording myself singing each part -- yet again -- and including the footage of that in the video, but 1) I didn't really want to record myself, 2) I didn't want to sing each part again, and, 3) I don't think I could have figured out how to inject the footage accurately using the video editing method I use (see below, if interested). So, instead, I decided to attempt a similar effect I've seen artists and various other video creators use in their videos or live streams. FL Studio's ZGameEditor Visualizer is nice, but it is pretty limited. I am surprised I was able to remotely accomplish the effect I was going for -- dimming the character's image when the vocal track is silent and illuminating it when sound is processed (the size reacting to the audio effect is nothing new) -- but it didn't turn out how I wanted it and I couldn't find how to make it closer to my desire. Only relavant to video. óÓÒò Lyrics: Con mi burrito sabanero voy camino de Belén Con mi burrito sabanero voy camino de Belén Si me ven, si me ven, voy camino de Belén Si me ven, si me ven, voy camino de Belén El lucerito mañanero, ilumina mi sendero El lucerito mañanero, ilumina mi sendero Si me ven, si me ven, voy camino de Belén Si me ven, si me ven, voy camino de Belén Con mi cuatrico voy cantando, mi burrito va trotando Con mi cuatrico voy cantando, mi burrito va trotando Si me ven, si me ven, voy camino de Belén Si me ven, si me ven, voy camino de Belén Tuqui tuqui tuqui tuqui, tuqui tuqui tuquita Apurate mi burrito que ya vamos a llegar. Tuqui tuqui tuqui tuqui, tuqui tuqui tuquitu Apurate mi burrito, vamos a ver a Jesús. ▶ Bandcamp 🐾 https://daymusik.bandcamp.com ▶ MySpace 🐾 https://myspace.com/daymusik197 ▶ Twitter 🐾 https://www.twitter.com/daymusik/ ▶ everywhere else 🐾 https://linktr.ee/Daymusik

Posted using PostyBirb

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

I'm seriously conserned about that behavior as well but I'm an """""anti"""" or whatever so I'm not gonna try to do anything about it other than make this post because they see me as a threat that's deserving of harassment so unblocking would be a move that's inviting a level of toxicity on myself that I'm unwilling to do, but I do think someone needs to say this, and they are stalking all of our blogs so I know they'll see it, so here goes.

If you're reading a comparison to rapists into someone making a joke about how you constantly say Izzy is just like you for real, you need to turn off the computer and go outside and get some fresh air.

If you think that everyone is constantly out to get you because they're writing meta about a fictional character you like, you need to talk to your real life friends if you have them about something unrelated to this.

If you think that a nebulous group of people who's only uniting characteristic is that they have a similar take about a fictional character constitutes a targeted harassment campaign and that we have a responsibility to hold each other accountable when some of us literally have each other blocked because, again, we're not an organized group we're just people posting, you should probably go see a therapist to work on your paranoid thought patterns.

No one is out to get you. A lot of us do in fact hate you but that's not because you like Izzy, we hate you because you won't leave us alone and you keep block evading and accusing us of saying things we didn't say, taking us wildly out of context, and being annoying in a way that clearly shows you want to police the way we express ourselves on the internet, but don't actually have the power. You can stop doing this. It is easy and it is better for your health.

So please turn off Tumblr for the next few days, go be with your friends. stop lashing out at people on the internet because they're making meta you don't like. When I see meta I don't like I block and move on or I vague about it. I have been known on multiple occasions to poke the canyon after being bothered by people in the canyon for days on end, but when I do I specifiy that I'm talking about specific behaviors I find objectionable and not just Izzy enjoyment generally, which is not something you do in return. I try to make a habit of breaking my discourse engagement up between drag shows, hookups, D&D sessions, and walks in the woods, and I also make an effort to avoid the drama posting if I'm feeling like it's getting to me, focusing my OFMD related engagement on things that are fun such as my divorce fic and my Myspace SMAU, making art doing cosplay ect.

I really encourage everyone from all sides of the fandom to do this not just the anti archive. If you think this is too much for you please take a tumblr break and remember. No one is making you do this. You are not being held at gunpoint. If people are posting too much trash in the Izzy tag, you don't have to go in the Izzy tag you can just look at trusted blogs, I'm sure you have those. Or you can block the people posting those things and their posts won't show up anymore. I follow the Ed Teach tag and I used to get angry about bad takes in there. Now I just hit the block button, because I have a drag show on sunday and I have a social media au I keep meaning to make. I don't have time to be responding to every shitty take. This should be your goal.

TL;DR: Please touch grass you're hurting yourself

at this point i am genuinely concerned about ant*-*zzy-arch*ve's emotional wellbeing. are even other Izzy stans distancing themselves?

me too anon. i can’t imagine it’s a fun way to participate in fandom. like it’s not fun for me to engage with it but i’m not going to just ignore them while they’re hunting down my posts and being shitty to my friends yk

i hope they feel able to move on from it soon

[aquaburst3]

While I know I've been joking about Twitter possibly shutting down pretty soon, but to completely serious, this is disheartening. I'm not a huge fan of that site. It has...or possibly soon to be had too much fandom and real world drama on it, so I deleted my account years ago and long before Elon began running it to the ground. But I feel bad for East Asian anime/drama fans. Twitter is big in Japan like how TikTok is here. It's probably one of the few platforms that link western and eastern fans. If that site goes up in flames, not only would it be axing a very popular social media platform over there, but also nix one of the few platforms that unit us. This is also a huge loss for western fandom content creators as well, since a lot of artists and writers use it to reach out to people.

Never thought that Twitter would become the next MySpace this decade. (To be honest, I always thought FaceBook would be.) But here's we are. That's what happens when the company is bought out by a multibillionaire and is ran into the ground...I guess.

Also, in case of any new Twitter users coming to see this site after the exodus, welcome to the trash bin! I've been here here since I was a teenager, and now a tired 20-something. If you have any questions about this platform and how it works, my fics or anything in general, don't be afraid to ask.

(As for my other socials, I have a TWST Discord server, but I don't like giving my actual Discord handle out to people. I also use the TikTok app a lot, but I don't have an actual account on there nor do I want to make one any time soon. I have a Pillowfort, but I'm never on there. Just here, mainly.)