#but it happens and it’s not like most people are seeing some of my posts with the original tags so🤷‍♀️

[oediex]

I mean, I'm all for overthrowing capitalism, don't get me wrong. In fact, I am extremely interested in the connection between veganism and anti-capitalism and have an inkling that veganism might or, perhaps, ought to be inherently anti-capitalist, but this is not the place for that argument, and I haven't fully worked it out yet.

I think the end of capitalism is near, yeah, although I would like to point out that many people in the past have thought the same to be the case. They've thought the material conditions were in place for it to end. There has been civil unrest plenty in the past. What usually happened was that a new stage of capitalism developed instead.

And the question is, when the next crash comes, will you/we be able to "prepare for the opportunity to come" with this "entirety of the most amoral and deeply selfish and consumerist population on Earth"? Are they ready for a post-capitalist society? Will they help you/us create a different system that is sustainable and good for the earth? Will they welcome it? Or will they be amoral and deeply selfish and consumerist still and put in place a different system that is equally detrimental to the environment?

I'll tell you how I think capitalism will probably end. It will end when the climate fully breaks down. It's already breaking down, but it's not adequately affecting people in rich Western countries yet. But it will be Bad, and every year that passes is accelerating its arrival. I desperately want to avoid a total breakdown, I have been for about half my life now, and despite things getting worse, there is still some kind of weird sense of hope in me, that we can do it. I think animal rights activism and environmental activism has a large role to play in that. Largely because I think an overthrow of capitalism that doesn't take these movements into account will fail to address a large part of the problem.

Perhaps it's idealistic. I think your ideas are too (and I largely share them). But then I think idealism isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think it drives both of our arguments. I think idealism is the fire beneath it all. And I think such idealism doesn't rule out pragmatism and realism.

I would also like to point out that I don't live in the US, so when I talk of politics and democracy, that's not what I have in mind. I don't have much faith in politics, but my understanding of politics isn't coloured solely by the system in the US. My democracy and your democracy are both gripped in capitalism, but not to the same extent.

I'm sorry you think change is impossible for vegan activism. As a vegan activist, I see change all the time. And I will celebrate every little step towards the right direction that we make. Because whether you want it or not, an overthrow of capitalism will include a move towards a more plant-based lifestyle. Better get as many people on board as we can before we're there.

discussions about sustainability largely have to be in the realm of production, not consumption. while curbing wasteful consumption habits is important, issues of unsustainable goods can only be solved by literally producing less of them. this approach immediately resolves most issues with individualist, moral 'consumer activism' - for instance, it doesn't matter if you personally eat meat or not, but, factually, we need to significantly reduce the size of the animal agriculture industry if we want the earth to remain habitable. whenever you discuss this, a million scratched satisfascists start acting as though we intend to just take away their treats and replace them with nothing - as if the removal of personal automobiles doesn't go hand in hand with the redesigning of cities around walking and public transit, as if the removal of one method of production doesn't mean its replacement by another. the two main errors here, of the treatlerites, and of those who forget that socialism is supported by the people only because it improves their real conditions, should both be avoided.

[anchorandrope]

I need to know why L's sisters are always the ones making trouble on social media and looking for attention. I really don't understand why them

Look, im going to give you an answer from PR because that's my life so why not lmfao. And since i've worked with one influencer recently, i have no doubts regarding what is happening at this point with louis' sisters.

Im going to try to explain this as short and succinctly as possible. and im really sorry to say this but this is how things work in real life, i beg you to leave your parasocial relationship with louis aside for three seconds to think coldly about the situation, because i know perfectly well how some of you take every statement made related to louis. several statements can exist at the same time, not everything is black and white, etc. thank you...

Some of you may ask, why always the twins? and there is, actually, an answer to that question. The answer, believe it or not, is not because Lottie is older than the twins. Partly her age is related, but it is not the reason itself... let's see:

Lottie started working as Lou Teasdale's assistant during the OTRA Tour, and since then and thanks to her, she got in touch with many important job opportunities that another teenager who does make-up well wouldn't have.

She has been in Fashion Week, worked for Selena Gomez, etc. Everything from a very young age. Today, she doesn't live exclusively from social media, as many believe. Her income is not only from "being an influencer", she has her brand tanologist, she published a book.... In Lottie's case, social media is a fundamental communication tool that allows her to obtain opportunities that generate income, but it is not her entire income per se.

On the other hand, Daisy and Phoebe were too young to take advantage of job opportunities at that time (1D days) because they were kids... they, again it may not seem like it, didn't have the same level of important job opportunities as Lottie had at such a young age. Lottie was at Fashion Week when she was 17... the twins are still very young and their proper working careers are just starting.

Phoebe and Daisy started their modelling careers in 2020 and to this day, they are involved in social media, promoting products (swaps) and modelling in small photo shoots. They haven't really had a big job opportunity like Lottie has had.

Unlike Lottie, they did not have the same visibility from the start and their income comes exclusively from social media. Modelling and swaps/promo are things they do through social media, their working tool is Instagram/TikTok. They need that platform for their income.

Now, if you have social media accounts set up as public and as a content creator you will know this, but for those who don't: those who create content on social media in this way (influencers, among other cases) have their own tool that helps them most to calculate how much they will earn and that is metrics. The famous "professional dashboard/insights" from Instagram for example.

To hire an influencer (in addition to doing a previous investigation of who you should hire) you should ask them for their metrics so that you can reach an agreement on the amount of money for that exchange/interaction/etc. A fixed base number is set, but depending on the reach, the more money they receive is directly proportional to the amount of interactions and views that post has had. Like on instagram if you share the post as branded content, the company you tag can see your metrics.

The fact that the twins are the ones who post content that they know people will go to their stories/posts/comments to see or will make them follow them on their social media is not a coincidence because the amount of people who interact with them (whatever the reason, as your personal reason is not seen on a metric lol) is what generates them revenue, quite literally.

Yes, it can happen that once in a while as something "casual" because they are people, but not as a generality and even less so when a few days later they do another promotion or they are in one. What is going on and whether it is right/morally correct or not are two different questions, by the way.

This is what happens, welcome to the world of influencers! It doesn't matter if you agree or not, if you like it or not, or whatever, those are your personal opinions (which are perfectly fine, we all have them) but... that's how it is. lol.

I personally don't think it's right to use babygate as a method of generating interaction, and just as I brought it to the attention of the clark family, I will bring it to the attention of the tomlinson's. the child is a huge victim of this, everyone is violating his right to privacy and honestly its disgusting to see after like 9 years. It seems to me that gaining interactions (that lead you to gain money) with such a horrible situation and with a child seems to me something that people should be ashamed of, to be honest. Beyond babygate, imagining that larry and babygate never existed, it's wrong to do this, it goes way beyond fandom, which i think is something a lot of people don't truly understand.

if you really want the twins to stop posting this kind of shit, im sorry to inform yall that the only solution to the problem is going to be to stop following them, stop looking at their stories, stop liking and viewing their posts, stop commenting, etc. any viewing/interaction is reflected in a metric, check it out for yourself (besides there are more metric apps than just the ones IG/Tiktok gives you). If you spread a screenshot taken by someone else or stuff, you are not interacting directly with their account, so it's not the same ofc, but if someone doesn't understand how it works, they will go and see it for themselves and and they will generate interactions. It's impossible not to have them on the radar, i know, so at least i ask yall to focus on what's really important, and not on every idiotic thing that happens, because that way they just make it worse, literally.

[marikosfragrance]

BLUE LOCK

<*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*>

Characters : Seishiro Nagi, Mikage Reo, Shidou Ryusei, Bachira Meguru

Contents : My thoughts on whether or not they'll actually fall in love? Depending on the character, how long will it take? And what conditions must be met for it to happen? And, depending on the character, will they not fall in love at all?

Note : Please keep in mind that this is my own interpretation of how characters will take on this situation and act on them, I don’t however assume and force this into a canonical aspect, I am not the creator of Blue Lock so take this post however you'd like if it is canon enough for you, or if it isnt, everyone has their own interpretations on each characters, but I am merely showcasing how I interpreted them, taking heed of the information in the manga and anime at hand, as I am trying to understand their character. There might be some information that lacks, maybe in the case of shidou, but it is only because we havent caught a glimpse of his past yet, and thus I am unable to fully grasp his entire characters, but once again, this is just my own interpretation. Thank you, and enjoy reading.

Nagi Seishiro

Can they fall in love? : Too lazy for it. I am sure Nagi can feel things, and develop feelings, but he wouldn't outright desire for the feeling of love. Nagi is described as laid back, unbothered, and deems hard work as an irrelevance. In the Nagi movie, this is further proved when he mentions how working hard, for academics, clubs, and love is a hassle and too much work for him. He sees himself in a future where he isn't working, is living good and satisfied and he sees it as enough for him.

But then again—

Nagi is no doubt still a human. So despite him not seeing it in his future, there is no room for guarante that he won't fall in love especially with the right person for him. Nagi fits into one of those tropes where the character can fall in love and develop feelings for someone, but they never envision it for themselves, yet they find it coming to them at the most unexpected times, then suddenly their whole view on it changes and they see themselves being with that person. Nagi wouldn't directly try and find love, he isn't desperate nor does he feel like it. However, in his case, if he were to fall in love, it would be in a situation where love comes to him.

How long would it take? : 5-6 months? Nagi might start falling in love in that duration, but he won't recognize the feeling until someone brings it up which would take more than 5-6 months for sure.

What conditions should be met? :

1. That other person initiates. I cannot see him being the first to do the "forming of connection".

2. That person respects his boundaries and doesn't try forcing him to do things outside of his comfort zone, unless he has already started to have feelings, if that person tries to force him to do something, only at the beginning of their growing connection, Nagi would view them as a hassle and it might cause some strains in their relationship.

3. However, by the end of it, Nagi is someone that probably won't have any room for complaints if someone truly wishes to be with him. For him, deep inside— no one would put up with him as much as that person that is trying their best to make a connection with him.

Reo being one of the few people that he views as someone he has become attached to, is a great example.

But if someone wants a deep, romantic connection, it wouldn't be so problematic compared to others. That person just has to initiate.

Mikage Reo

Can they fall in love? : Yes, he can. I don't see Reo being unable to fall inlove.

Reo is someone that is sociable and just from this alone says a lot about his character. He is able to form connections, socialize, make meaningful relationships with people. It wouldn't be surprising if he does indeed fall inlove.

How long will it take? : For Reo, it depends. The person has to be constantly involved in his life if ever that person wants to speed up the process. However, I believe Reo will try to also keep his mind to his success, such as soccer and winning the world Cup. He has grown up being dissatisfied with gaining things as easily with a snap of his fingers. For him, soccer is a way for him to redeem and prove himself, to both his parents and his own sense of self. Unless that person really catches his attention, I think he would fall in love, acts on it but only develop it further once he achieved his dream.

He would fall in love, that's for sure but he is responsible and if he sets his eyes on a goal, i feel he wouldnt be the type to back down on it. He also manages his time responsibly in which might aid him into giving time for the person that he fancy, but he would only further develop the relationship once he has his goals cleared up or achieved.

How long would it take? : I think if he has a type, he would stick with it, but maybe he would reconsider if the person intrigues him greatly.

If the person is his type, attraction would take a week and falling inlove in a month or more. But if the person isn't his type, it would take him around 4 months at the least, or more if ever.

What conditions must be met for him to fall inlove?:

1. He finds time.

2. The person intrigues him

I can place more, but it might feel forced so let's stick with this for now. Reo is responsible than most characters in blue lock, he has a broad view of how social circles work, and has a deep understanding with making connections. He can fall inlove and exert time to it if he sees the person as worthy of it.

I cannot see him wasting time on fleeting relationships, if he falls in love— he is serious.

Shidou Ryusei

Can they fall in love? : Absolutely. Shidou is a free person— someone that even chains have nothing against to. He feels whatever he likes. Does whatever he wants, and proceeds to life how he sees it. His character is quite complex for me to understand with the lack of information, on his character and his past. But with the information I currently have on him, in the anime, manga and the trivia. I can tell that shidou is someone that embodies the concept of freedom. For him, he also has his own philosophy on life and stays true to it. I feel like if someone just matches his vibe, doesn't restrain him, and will accept him for who he is, he would feel accepted and eventually fall for that person.

That person doesn't necessarily have to match his vibe, that person can also be someone that keeps him grounded and knows when to step up. But someone that matches how he does things can also make him "explode".

How long would it take : With the right action, it wouldn't take so long. Maybe even a few weeks, if done right. However, if the person is someone that doesnt show their emotions often, it might take a bit longer, but still not as long as the others, Shidou is upfront about his feelings, so if he feels the slightest thing for a person, he isn't afraid to own up to it which is why it wouldn't take so long for him.

What conditions must be met :

1. That person isn't someone that restricts his freedom.

2. The person can accept him for who he is.

3. That person can make him "explode" or so he says, which I think means— make him excited or makes him feel like his freedom is understood

In short, absolutely. He can fall inlove. But the person also has to be someone accepting. I think personality wouldn't matter much, nor the face or physical features, what matters to him is someone that can either keep him grounded and understands his freedom but still refrain him from overdoing things, or someone that understands his concept as a whole and embodies it themselves and also does things that matches his.

Bachira Meguru

Can they fall in love? : Yes, Bachira can fall in love. Bachira is someone that has their fear of being alone, the fear of loneliness. For me, it wouldn't be too unusual if he even craves something like love. Currently, friends that can play soccer with him is already enough to satiate his loneliness however, if someone is willing to love him, I dont see him being the one to complain— he might even just accept then there and then if he sees himself with that person.

But it doesn't mean he just accepts whoever shows interest in him. Bachira has endured loneliness in the past but that doesn't make him desperate to the point of letting anyone that has interest in him, date him on the spot. He can be aware of things, and understand situations. Bachira might fall for anyone with the right intentions. Or those he deems interesting and have formed an emotional connection over.

But if he feels they are it— Bachira would start to cling to this said person, his loneliness dependant on them.

How long would it take : A month atleast. But if they are someone that Bachira can tell is kind, or someone that has no ulterior motive, or just simply interests him, he wouldn't be afraid to fall for that person, even if the fear of being left alone is there deep inside. A month, or less.

What conditions must be met :

1. That person must be someone he has formed an emotional connection with.

2. He wouldn't be picky, he might even feel like no one would want him deep down inside.

3. If someone shows interest in him, they must have their attention all on him, no secondary interest, no any room left for other people, otherwise Bachira's fear of being left alone and abandonment would trigger and he might start to doubt.

In short, yes he can. But I see Bachira as someone that doesnt want to endure the hurt of being left alone, so he must really be sure this person won't do it. If he starts dating someone, he would no doubt treasure them deep down inside, thinking no one else other than this person would want to be with him.

-------------------------------------

[shiny-jr]

PLAGIARISM UPDATE!

So, maybe I should not have said: "Hopefully this will have been the last we see of plagiarizer Kristynaka1." Perhaps from the exterior it may have seemed like it's been over, but it hasn't. Again, I've tried to deal with this silently in the background. However, my hands are tied at this point and I believe it's best to go public with this once again.

Let's rewind it a bit, shall we? In order to give y'all the full picture of what is going on.

DECEMBER 26, 2024

The story containing the plagiarism is deleted. Oh, what a joyous day. I had figured that would be the end of it, as there's nothing left to do but move on. But, as usual, I was proven wrong.

DECEMBER 27, 2024

I was made aware of an announcement post the plagiarizer made which I will share here. Keep in mind, to my knowledge I was still blocked but others alerted me and shared evidence with me.

Not too long after, I receive a message in my inbox. A message that states they were a neutral user on the issue but accused me of bullying.

I was initially suspicious of this message, but I decided to take their words into consideration. I asked others of their honest thoughts and opinions, because I genuinely wanted to know if I did anything wrong. Most agreed that the user truly didn't sound like they were a neutral party, and that it was likely the plagiarizer themself or a friend of theirs.

Later, I received a dm with practically the same message.

So what do I do? I block them. Perhaps that was wrong of me, and they accuse me of doing the same that they did when they blocked me. But I ask you to consider. Why would I want to continue to entertain this notion of accusations and messages when the ordeal is supposed to be over?

It's around this point where I'm notified by others that comments are continuously being made to defend me. These comments were appearing on the plagiarizer's Wattpad profile, often arguing with the plagiarizer only to get their commented deleted or profile blocked. But it was slowly and continuous. Which is one of the main reasons I am making this post, and is something I will address towards the end in more detail.

Later, I am notified by a few people that the user seen in the screenshot above, let's refer them to as IDK, was messaging multiple users asking for help and their opinion on the matter. IDK created a post accusing me of bullying. While these are heavy accusations, I personally see no truth in them. Again, since I had asked the honest opinion of others earlier when first messaged in my inbox.

Not too long after, I receive another very similar message in my inbox from an anon user. I don't even try to entertain it. I block the user, because at this point, it has become a form of spam or harassment.

The first comment and like on the bullying accusation post was made by a user named Kryllia. Basically they seemed to support what was said in the post. I bring them up because the post happened on a profile with no other posts or visible likes or reblogs. And if you see the current comments, which I won't show here because there are too many, their manner of speech is very similar to Kristynaka's own. Which is why I believe it might be an alt account or a friend of theirs. I also believe this because this account is blocked from my view, and I don't recall ever manually blocking this user, so it must've been them who sent one of the messages in my inbox on anon.

Anyways, those that were messaged by IDK and alerted me, informed me that their own opinions did not align with this new user's claim of neutrality. The post gained a bit of attention, but I attempted to do some damage control by messaging users privately to please keep this under wraps as I didn't want this spiraling out of hand. To which they all obliged and were very respectful.

I had assumed that this would fizzle out and nothing would happen. I was wrong. Now I had users alerting me to comments being made on Tumblr and on Wattpad.

DECEMBER 28, 2024

Now is probably a good time to bring up Teenfic.net and Penana. Just to remind you all. Some research was done and we found both the user and the copied stories on these sites. DO NOT go to these sites, as they are both ridden with malware!

Teenfic appears to be a mirror site that copies stories from Wattpad, so it likely saw the story from Wattpad and copied it. While Penana is a smaller and highly suspicious website where the plagiarizer likely created an account and posted the copied story since they were banned off Quotev and the story was taken off Wattpad. I'm not too concerned with Penana, since it's also full of malware and there's hardly any traction.

I will take the time to say that if you see any stories that are highly similar to mine, please make me aware privately before doing anything else! I imagine this plagiarizer will continue to use other people's work and claim it as their own. I will bring this up again later with more screenshots.

JANUARY 2, 2025

I'm notified by others that the user Kryllia has commented on the bullying accusation post again. Now, after reading their recent comments, they sound more and more like the plagiarizer Kristynaka. However, I'll let you be the judge of that.

So from the looks of it, their plan is to get my account deleted and also to feed original work into AI and claim the result as their own work. Which is not how writing works.

JANUARY 3, 2025

Today I made the decision to finally go public with this information. However, not for the reason y'all may suspect. I want to be honest with my readers. Although I truly believe there is no reason for my account to be banned, I just wanted to put this out there in case it does happen.

Most importantly, the main reason I wanted to make this post was because I want to discourage anymore interactions with the plagiarizer or their alts/friends. Please, no more comments or posts about it. While I appreciate any attempts that were made to defend me, I would like them to stop now as this is only prolonging the conflict. However, if anything does come up, please message me privately.

I would like this to stop, and the situation to end. I realize that it may not go according to plan, but I would rather not acknowledge anything else said by the plagiarizer or her proxies anymore unless the need to arises again.

Thank you to my readers and anyone reading this post. As I said above, please do not engage in any interactions with them, and I encourage you to share this post in the possible scenario that Kristynaka really does uses AI to copy from my works or others again in the future.

[screamlet]

fic: blow up that chopper epilogue (118 daily drabble)

pairing: bucktommy rating: mature word count: 1.8k epilogue (3.4k total); status: complete tags: breakup/makeup; fix-it fic; buck pov; future fic; near death experience; helicopter crash! notes: you can read all the drabbles and epilogue at the ao3 link, and in their original post-by-post form in the #blow up that chopper (118dailydrabble) tag.

Series Summary:

Buck reads to himself: If my grief is violent enough, perhaps he will come back to life again. It sits uncomfortably on his tongue until the sirens blare. They jump into action, but Buck freezes at the bottom of the stairs. "Mayday, mayday, mayday, companies respond to an explosion at Harbor Station."

---

1 YEAR LATER (DECEMBER 2025)

It's only been a month, so Buck's going to forgive himself for still feeling giddy about this: kissing Tommy in the parking lot of their favorite breakfast place before heading home together (to their house) after a shift.

"Love you, I'll see you at home," Tommy says, just before he kisses Buck.

Buck smiles into it, every time. "Where else would I be?"

Tommy still doesn't have a standard quip in response, so he kisses Buck again. He's smiling, too, and smiles brighter as Buck whispers I love you into their kiss.

---

All things considered, Tommy had survived the accident at Harbor by moments. There wasn't much to uncover about what happened: there was a call for a medevac and one of the other A-shift pilots, Gregson, took it. Almost two thousand feet in the air, he had a fatal heart attack and the helicopter crashed on the station. Seven people died, including Gregson, Captain Norton, and their probie Serrano, who was a month away from finishing their probationary year.

The explosion had thrown Tommy free and clear of the worst of it. He could have died immediately, like Gregson and others in the station, but the way he landed had broken his arm and shoulder, cracked his ribs, and ruptured his spleen. If Buck and Chimney hadn't immediately spotted him on the ground in their line of vision, he would have died on the ground (instead of only three or four times in the ambulance).

("That's two," Chimney had said when Tommy woke up in the hospital. "You're just messing with me at this point.")

While Harbor was out of commission, the remaining crew had been split up across the city. Once Tommy had recovered, he was assigned to another Air Ops station to manage and train newer pilots. At his friend Sal's urging, he completed the training and testing so that Harbor Station would reopen with Interim Captain Kinard at the helm.

Some but not all of the original Harbor crew wanted to come back. It was a relief to Tommy (and Buck, too), that Lucy was one of them—she had been on the most fortuitously scheduled vacation to Italy anyone had ever taken, and came back to the literal ruins of her professional life. She promised to keep Interim Captain Kinard in line, and knock around anyone who doubted him (though Buck couldn't imagine who would).

And Buck stayed. He stayed and he fought for Tommy, and with Tommy, because meeting Robert Kinard had taught him one important thing: Tommy was stubborn and myopic and trapped in his own head, and Buck had to stop holding back if they wanted to stay together.

After they had broken up, Buck knew that he had rushed ahead too quickly. He thought that if they ever got back together, he would have to slow down and handle Tommy with kid gloves, incredibly gentle. That wasn't going to work, not when Buck had seen the heavy hand that had molded Tommy more than either of them wanted to admit.

Tommy had spent his entire adult life struggling against the man Robert wanted him to be, and Buck would have to drag him out of Robert's shadow by fucking force. Sometimes that meant telling Tommy he was wrong, just plain wrong.

It meant that both of them had to trust they were in this together: Tommy wasn't leading Buck into a life he didn't understand, and Buck wasn't trapping Tommy in a relationship that Tommy didn't want. It meant that sometimes Tommy had to walk away from a fight, go on a walk or a drive, and they both trusted that he would come back. What they had was worth fighting for, and neither of them would give into the fear of leaving and being left behind.

All things considered, almost dying made Tommy want to actually live, and ask for things, and make space for the things he wanted: I want to train pilots. I want to rebuild Harbor so our friends who are gone don't think we abandoned them. I want to become a firehouse captain. I want to stay on the ground and rebuild a station, and let others take to the sky and find themselves, like I did.

I want to be with you, Evan, even though sometimes I look at you and don't know how you got into my life and why you'd want to stay. I want you to stay at my house more often, as much as you think I want and then as much as you actually want. I want you to stop being afraid to leave things here. I want you to move in with me. I want us to trust that this isn't too much for us. I want us to make our future. I want it now.

So Buck stayed and made it theirs.

---

Tommy beats him home, but not by much. This might be one of Buck's favorite secret Tommy rituals, the ones that Buck didn't see until he moved in.

Every time Tommy gets home from a shift, he's going to stand at the mailbox and flip through every single piece of mail, sigh loudly, then head inside. Buck grabs his bag and heads over so he can hook his chin over Tommy's shoulder and participate, too.

"I'm dreading the day all the junk mailers discover you've moved," Tommy murmurs. "Never thought I'd need a bigger mailbox."

"Homeowner worries," Buck adds seriously, then grins when Tommy makes a face at him. "Anything good?"

Tommy hands over the three Christmas cards he's found so far: one of Tommy's friends from the Army, the Wilsons (and they are always The Wilsons on their envelopes), and the whole Ramirez family (one of Tommy's friends from Harbor).

"It's been long enough that I even miss his snoring." Tommy sighs. "May 2026, the return of Harbor Station." He pauses, but doesn't try to turn and look at Buck. "I keep thinking about how weird it'll feel. I'll be happy to be back because I love that place. That's my firehouse, my station, but."

"Yeah," Buck says. "Yeah, I get it."

"It'll never be the same." Tommy pauses, then says, "They're doing a private dedication in April. I put it on the calendar."

"I saw." Buck gently kisses the side of his neck. "I'll be there. And you'll be there, Captain Kinard."

"Interim captain," Tommy corrects.

"Interim with high probability of being made permanent after six months," Buck corrects further. "Because you're the best and no one loves that place like you do. And hey, what about my snoring? I thought I was special."

That finally gets Tommy to turn and kiss Buck, right at the corner of his mouth. "Dork. Brat. Whatever you're playing at today."

"Brat, definitely," Buck says as he bites at his lower lip. "Come on, there's still more mail."

"There's still more mail, god forbid it ever stops. Huh."

There's a red envelope, so it must be another Christmas card. The handwriting is very careful and old-fashioned, tight lines and loops at the very center of the envelope. It's the kind of precision and attention to the most minute details that he sees every day, but now it's postmarked from Ventura, CA.

Mr. Thomas Kinard Mr. Evan Buckley

"Now how in the hell did he get my address? And how did he track you here?" Tommy asks. Buck finally notices the R. Kinard in the top left corner. No return address, just the city, state, and zip code.

"Internet, probably," Buck says. "And my Instagram isn't private. I didn't post your face but I did post, you know, moving boxes and stuff. I'm sorry if that was too much."

"Nothing to apologize for," Tommy replies. "And I doubt my father uses Instagram. Some nosy cousin must have snitched."

He props his chin on Tommy's shoulder again. He doesn't want Tommy to see his face, as curious as he is to see Tommy's. There's a lump in his throat that Robert Kinard doesn't deserve, but Buck still feels something. There's no bridge to build here, but there's this crumb: I see you.

And maybe on some level it terrifies Tommy to be seen, but... maybe it doesn't.

It's one good thing. One good thing. One good thing this man can do.

Buck steps back and takes the rest of the mail as Tommy holds the envelope and considers it. He finally opens it and, to Buck's surprise, laughs.

"Didn't expect this sappy shit from him," Tommy says as he shows Buck the card. It's pretty typical drug store Christmas fare with a big white dove holding a ribbon, some silver glitter, red accents, and in huge cursive script the words: Peace, Love, and Joy to Your Family.

Buck wonders if he's imagining the way time stretches out as he and Tommy look at the card.

To Your Family

It's one good thing.

Buck coughs and asks, "Anything inside? Like a message, not—"

"He owes me a lot more than a $5 bill in a gas station Christmas card if he wants to make up with me." Inside the card it says: Merry Christmas. -Robert

"He didn't sign it Dad?" Buck asks.

"Yeah," Tommy says slowly. "Yeah, that's weird, but he's never sent me a Christmas card before so he's probably never had to think about it." Tommy looks at it for a beat, then closes it. "I don't hate it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Tommy sounds a little surprised by himself. "I don't want it with the others open on the mantle, but maybe like… still in the envelope, off to the side. Just so it's there." There's a beat before Tommy says, "I just like seeing our names like this."

Buck smiles to himself. "Me too."

Tommy catches his eye and laughs as he tucks the card back into the envelope. "Alright, let's get inside. I need a nap and then we've got our Howie and Maddie double date tonight: dinner and vintage Christmas hijinks. Christmas in Connecticut, baby. Deeply underappreciated classic. I think you're gonna love it."

"If you love it, I love it."

"And it's under two hours."

"I love it," Buck laughs. "Love it more than anything."

They only make it a few steps to the front door before Tommy pulls Buck into his arms, hands on his waist and movie-star-dreamy eyes fixed on Buck's. "More than me?"

Buck pretends to think about it. "If it's under 90 minutes before the credits."

Tommy doesn't even bother rolling his eyes. He kisses Buck and deepens the kiss when Buck wraps his arms around his neck. There's no forgetting where they are as they kiss: in front of their home, on their street, in their neighborhood, right out in the open for anyone and everyone to see. There's nowhere they'd rather be.

[c-schroed]

Why Not Watch Some Movies Set in 2025?

Another new year has just begun, and I love to start it with a look back to how some people years ago envisioned this specific year to be (just like last year). So, I'll share with you my list of movies set in the year of 2025, based on this gorgeous Wikipedia list.

Of course, some of the movies listed there don't provide much of a vision, because they're set just a few years in the future. So, I'll focus on movies that are at least ten years old, reducing my Get Ready For '25 watchlist to 11 entries. Future me will edit this post, adding a quick review to each film after I've watched it. So, let's have a look at the movies, after the cut.

Endgame (Original title: Bronx Lotta Finale). The oldest entry in the list comes from 1983, and it shows us a run-of-the-mill post-apocalyptic New York. Seemingly, some nuclear war has happened (around 1990, as a clever Wikipedia writer deduces based on the technology shown in the film), leaving a wasteland filled with scavengers and telepathic mutants. Oh, and hunters and gladiators who fight to death for a TV show called Endgame. A Boy And His Dog meets The Running Man, as it seems. One could start worse, I guess, though the writer/director worked under a pseudonym for this, which I admit is not the best of omens. PS: I usually look at places like Youtube and Dailymotion if someone uploaded some of the older flicks, and on this lil quest I among others found a German dubbed version with Hungarian voice-over of this originally Italian flick. So if you happen to understand Hungarian (I don't), have fun with this truly pan-european edition! Wow. I admit that this flick was a better start than I anticipated. It's still not great, but the first third is very entertaining, with some nicely choreographed fights. Very wrestling-esque, very sweet. However, then all of a sudden the whole gladiator fight TV show stuff ends, and instead we get some "Bring these guys to this place" plot instead. Entertaining The Running Man ripoff becomes less entertaining Mad Max 2 ripoff. 5 out of 10 points. Oh, and I solved the riddle of the director's pseudonym: He usually made smut films, so I guess he did not want to confuse his smut film fans by putting his smut film persona into the credits of this relatively non-smut production.

Future Hunters. A movie from 1986, and yet another post-apocalyptic world. Some rebel group search for the Spear of Destiny, which allows them to travel back in time. So, I'm afraid most of the film will not happen in 2025, but 39 years earlier, where the Spear has to be reunited with its shaft (the Shaft of Destiny, I guess?) to break its curse. Or so. Raiders of the Lost Ark seems to meet Terminator, here. And we even have Robert Patrick in one of his first leading roles, five years before becoming a real Terminator.

Futuresport. This one is from 1998, and it was made directly for TV. The eponymous sport of the year 2025 is a mix of basketball, baseball and hockey that uses hoverboards and rollerblades, and it is used as a less lethal alternative for gang warfare. Specifically, this sport shall be used to decide who will rule over the Hawaiian Islands. When looking at this synopsis, I can't stop thinking about one of my favourite movies, the 1975 sci-fi classic Rollerball. This one is set in the year of 2018, so maybe I can spin me some head canon that has Futuresport developing from Rollerball. We'll see.

Timecop 2: The Berlin Decision. A 2003 direct-to-video sequel to the Jean-Claude Van Damme flick of 1994. Timecop part one was set in 2004, and 21 years later, in the sequel, some guy is sent to Berlin of the past. To kill Hitler. Oh my. This could be quite the ride. I think I watched part one when I was young, but I can't remember much. So maybe this year is a good opportunity for a rewatch of this Van Damme flick - though I don't think it will be needed to understand part 2. The double feature DVD box is cheap to get, so we'll see.

Negadon, the Monster from Mars. A 2005 animated kaiju short film from Japan, wherein a mars mission brings some monster back to earth. Which of course has to be fought with some huge robot. Sounds okay, and we're talking about 25 minutes to spend. So why not.

Repo Men. A 2010 film that shows us a 2025 where bio-mechanical organs are rented to people in need. If they can't afford the organs any more, well, the repossession is quite bloody. So basically it's 2008's Repo! The Genetical Opera, but without the cool singing. I watched this movie when it was in cinemas, and it was okayish. So, time for a rewatch.

Zebraman 2: Attack on Zebra City. Some Japanese superhero flick from 2010, of course it's a sequel to a film called Zebraman, from 2004, wherein a teacher starts to fight crime in the costume of his childhood TV hero. The sequel is set 15 years after part one (so yes, Zebraman 2 is produced in the year that Zebraman 1 is set in), and Tokyo is renamed to Zebra City and now has a "Zebra Time", a daily period of five minutes where all crime is legal, but presumed criminals will be attacked by the "Zebra Police". This could be hilarious, The Purge on speed (before the first part of The Purge even existed!), but I'll keep my expectations low. And I'll try to watch part one first, because Zebraman 2 seems to use a lot of its characters.

Pacific Rim. A 2013 instant classic. In 2025, giant kaijus must be fought with giant mechas (just as in Negadon; see above). Gosh, I love this one, but spouse hasn't seen it yet. And is highly sceptical. But when if not this year should one give this a try, right?

Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Four guys are sent ten years into the future by the eponymous bathing device, to find someone who tried to kill one of them. I absolutely did not like the first part, so I really feel tempted to skip this.

Mountains May Depart. A 2015 Chinese drama spanning a time from 1999 to 2025. The synopsis is full of love-triangles and family drama, so I don't suspect much of a vision of the future. Plus, it seems to be rather hard to get, so maybe I'll skip this one, too.

Ten Years. Also from 2015, this movie from Hong Kong speculates about what the semi-autonomous Hong Kong will be in ten years from then, with human rights and freedoms gradually diminishing as the influence of the Chinese government increases. I'm very curious about this one!

[thekingnerd]

As an endo (I feel the need to preface with this so as to not be misleading) I agree with EVERY point you made here, which is... Very odd to have happen when I'm reblogging an anti.

I agree with your stance on the antis, and how while there are some toxic communities and people, that isn't all of them. Similarly, I don't view all endos as good people, some of us are assholes, but I see so many anti posts about all endos being ableist, how they used to be pro but then a few endos were being dicks and trying to convince them they were endo, as well as other things, then they hate all endos. I agree with you completely here: Neither side is a monolith. We all have good people, we all have bad ones. Hell, I have a few antis I actively enjoy talking to because they, while not believing that I can exist, are able to put that aside for the purposes of a proper debate without insults!

The concept of endos being suspicious: I agree, it did seem a bit odd at first for me, but when my brethren (headmates) showed up (before I did) the Guy Who Was There First was just like "Huh, that's odd. Am I crazy? Probably, but that's fine." (For context, we have aphantasia, so we are all (to whoever is fronting) disembodied voices.) We didn't even know that systems were a thing until our friend revealed his systemness to us, but since we were different, us being system didn't even click until a year later. As for a lack of trauma, or other symptoms: Some endos dissociate from other, unrelated disorders, some have trauma that doesn't fit with diagnostic criteria or happened after systemhood, but in general, we don't know why we formed. With willogenics and such, my best guess as to how could be they can just believe they have a friend in their head for long enough it stays? Maybe imaginary friend type thing, but more permanent?

We don't pretend that natural multiple shit never happened, most of us just have never heard of it before. This is the first I heard of it.

I'm also not asking any antis to take a chance on us existing, I just want the death threats and such to stop.

As for barging into spaces: I do not condone any endos posting endo stuff in the did/osdd/cdd/other disordered tags, unless it's something that they found that directly pertains to those disorders (other post elsewhere that has tips on dealing with dissociation, for example.) From an endo point of view, at least from what I've seen, we left the overall, medical system spaces and formed our own spaces, using the plural tags. Now, we don't keep traumagenics out, not at all. We are all inclusive. We just want to keep hatred out of our spaces, because there are plenty of antis coming into the endo safe plural tags, and calling us ableist, then having DNI in the tags, as if they expect us to not respond to them yelling at us in our tags. I am fine with DNIs, but like... If you don't want gay people to interact with you, then don't go to the gay bar.

I get not wanting to have your safe space spoiled by hate and those who invalidate you. I just wish that both sides could see that, agree to disagree, and temporarily have a truce while we work on making plurality in general (both disordered and not) accepted by society. Then we can get back to throwing hate at each other if we truly wish.

Tl;Dr, I agree fully with every point you made here, and they also, for the most part, actually apply to endos as well. We need to just have a truce, normalize systems so we can go by our own names in public, not body names, and then if we truly wish go back to fighting.

Keep seeing posts of pro-endos who used to be anti-endo talking about "Ugh, anti-endo spaces are so toxic" which is not necessarily bad, there are bad anti-endo spaces out there and people are allowed to vent about how those spaces hurt them

I do have a problem when they use that as an excuse to call us all toxic and cruel. I've seen many saying things like "Anti endos are so horrible, I'm so glad I'm not one of those monsters anymore"

You need to understand we aren't the monsters you make us out to be. We're traumatized people, trying our hardest to survive with something debilitating, who can't help but see endos as mocking, whether they truly are or not. We can't help but see endos as invading our spaces.

We didn't get to have safe spaces most of the time. We didn't get to be around people who cared about us and understood us. Even those of us that did have a safe space had it poisoned by trauma elsewhere. We spent our childhoods afraid, isolated, and so agonizingly alone, feeling like we were better off dead, that we were freaks, that we were the only ones in the world going through this. This community we made for ourselves was one we had to fight through years of hell to get.

So when random people come over trying to insist that they're "just like us" and demanding to be let in, despite having only one or two things in common that we couldn't even trust they truly had, of course we'll be fucking defensive. In our eyes, you're trying to take the safe spaces we fought tooth and nail for away from us, whether you truly are or not. In our eyes you're people who know nothing about us or what we went through, and continue to go through, trying to barge into our havens and bloat it with bullshit, whether that's what you're trying to do or not.

We've been hurt so many times, by so many people, for so long. Why the fuck would we take a chance on people that are so suspect? You claim to have alters just like us, yet without any of the other symptoms of our disorders. You claim to be systems, yet without being caused by the immense trauma we had to suffer through. Hell, some of you claim that you made your alters for fun, just because you can.

Of course we're wary and defensive. We don't want to even risk losing the spaces we worked so damn hard to get.

If you've had a bad experience with anti-endo spaces, and are pro-endo now because of it, that's fine by me and I understand completely. But that doesn't make us all villians. That doesn't make us all evil monsters.

And besides, many of us have been hurt by pro-endo/mixed origin spaces too. We've seen people have horrible experiences with them. (Let's not forget endos started as natural multiples, who were notoriously shitty, cruel, and discriminatory toward any and all traumagens, and that a lot of that same rhetoric is still rampant in the community, AND that the community at large has basically just decided to pretend that never happened.

-Kaz

[ourlittleuluru]

In summary, this memory was pretty good! It was so... SO MUCH. It immediately fried my brain half way through /@A@;;;;; It was insane. This memory (and the Unreturned Traveller) both left little to no room for any sort of imagination (,,>﹏<,,)

I may have some reservations about certain things with like pacing and such, but I get what they're going for (though at the same time I can't help but feel like they're also doing this spicy banner and heavy leaning on Xavier's jealous tendency in response to much of the vocal fandom really wanting it)

I won't say I love this card as much as the others but I see the appeal and still appreciate it~ I do still love the little moments in the cards and I'll put my trust with the writers still! (writers who are also fanfic authors, seriously... the wording they used during the kindled part just screams fanfic to me! 😂)

(ヘ･_･)ヘ┳━┳ into the Read-more it goes as usual! Fair warning. Long post is LONG (as per usual but at least it's not like branch story long lmao)

All in all this memory reaaaaally highlights a lot of Xavier's flaws, in a good way!

On one hand (i'm pretty sure this happened after 21 Days) now that Xavier has worked on expressing himself more with MC, he's letting the side that he's kept under wraps, out. This resulted with the Xavier we see in this memory. The insecurity, afraid that he'll lose MC-not because she'll die-but just losing out on any sort of time with her (maybe because he's also running on limited time???? angst potential????!), and his little more childish tendency to feel jealous.

He's just so baby 😭🥺 but also Xavier! You'll be okay! MC isn't going anywhere!!

For the first half of the date, I felt like there was some... unanswered questions? Maybe it's for us to figure it out. But I also felt that it was feeling a liiiiittle bit rushed?

Pretty much it seems the starting trigger for Xavier's jealousy began right in the first 3 minutes. Honestly felt that it could've been expanded on a little more, showcasing how it feels like MC would be snatched away from him 🤔 But since I'm sure there's a count to how long the dates should be, I guess they opted for this instead ｢( • ﾍ •) Which also still makes sense enough. But also just reminds me of the Tender Moment - Winter's Sun, where MC needs to go to a networking event and he's such a huge baby about it 😂

I think it's more than a little, MC X'DDD

This part though 🥺 The fact MC has given him access to their own place. And yet Xavier is still so proper about it. Such a gentleman uwu

MC had full faith and trust in Xavier. And Xavier, aware of it, but still would seek consent first. To which, after he has MC's consent, Xavier instead will make sure that MC knows it's him first. The care and thought in this 😭😭😭💖

HE'S LITERALLY PLAYING OUT THAT MEME I CAN'T EVEN 🤣

"You're the most jealous man I know" " You know other men?"

Ngl seeing this written where there's storm or dark clouds above Xavier's head is just funny because that's literally the vision 🤣 he's such an open book when it comes to MC

Him just wanting to hold onto MC at every opportunity even when people are around (/ω＼)

First time meeting Charlie and Xavier was still polite enough... the 2nd time tho... 😂

Poor Charlie! Of all people he first meet, it had to be Xavier and inciting his jealous streak X'D and he's oblivious to it... goodness

The way MC be pushing his buttons to figure out her suspicions on his mood tho 😭 and then the way Xavier literally be pouting in his voice when he says if there's other neighbours in the future that'll do things with her is just... BABY 🥺

Xavier essentially just be slowly putting his walls down, being more indulgent in showing his feelings. And the way he asks MC to see if they are okay with it 🥺

He's just seeking out for MC's reassurance at this point

How many times has some sort of sweet fruit been mentioned whenever it's them getting intimate >w< But this guy just casually leaving MC hanging on the edge.... wow 👀 he definitely knows what he's doing

Same MC... Same... u-u

Honestly, yes 🤣 Like sir, you have centuries and loved reading and also has shown to know so much. A bit difficult to assume you HADN'T ALREADY heard of it before

But the lines right after that just had me like 🥺 Imagine the times he just sat there alone, gazing. Thinking about the things that had passed. About how uneventful or how his life lacked some sort of anchor. His only reason for continuing his days is finding a way to deal with Philos's core and bringing the Backtrackers home. Or maybe to go to Uluru... stuff like that

Ngl... this line from MC had me be like ??????? cuz it made no sense to me;;; Not sure if it's just me not getting it lol.

But I went to look up the CN version and it's (very, very roughly) more along the lines of "If there's no fire, nothing would explode even with a fuse".

Interestingly enough, Xavier seems to avoid answering it? It also happened later, when MC tried to understand Xavier's change. I wonder why he avoided it. out of ego? inability to admit it because it'll be embarrassing? he doesn't know how to put it in words?

Anyways

The fact they be having such a sweet intimate moment and Mr neighbour Charlie came busting in. The face Xavier has. He couldn't even contain his emotions 🤣 thankfully he didn't need to run for his life.

Xavier really be staring him down at the side there 🤣🤣🤣 And Xavier just... 😭 I can't even with this baby. Charlie please read the room there if you know what's good for you...!

The way he just casually lies about this like....! Xavier please 🤣 One can tell he's trying to find a way to subtly tell Charlie to leave them alone I guess but you can tell he's also just letting his temper get the better of him and it came out this way

Okay this part of the whole date was like one of the biggest point to me :C

The way he has worded "do you want me to go back to how I was before?" was very much in a way referencing to one of their things about "every version of them". And the way that line was worded also reeked of Xavier's uncertainty. He was worried there. Was it too much? Is it going to end up driving MC away from him? MC of course did their best to try and ease his worry. It wasn't so much MC wanting Xavier to be how he was before but they just want to understand him more.

And the way Xavier just turns around and proceeds to take it out on the tree instead 😭😭😭😭 Xavier the tree is innocent...! That aside, he's definitely struggling to figure his own feelings out but that childish temper just pretty much got into his head so much that he couldn't keep his usual more level-headedness.

Also MC, did you really HAVE to kick him on his ass just to get his attention? 🤣 Man's angy enough and that definitely cranked his angy up to a 110

The way Xavier nuzzles saying he doesn't know (what else to suggest to help him calm down) was 🥺 he was needy and desperate at that point and he really didn't know how to deal with his emotion like... UGH muh heart

And MC THE INSTIGATOR...! The real freak fr 🤣😭 setting him off to go down the spicy route 😏 of course he's gonna respond in kind

MC gripping and stroking his chin like this 😩

and now that he knows he's allow to... man... MC just unleashed his desire

Him just smirking the rest of the way through.... asdfghjkl

LIKE HELP PLEASE (⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)

The insane animation and voice acting for these round of cards was.... inasne... even the EN side has upped their game!

The kindled wasn't too long but boy did it show SO MUCH. AND THE SPICINESS WASN'T JUST IN THE KINDLED LIKE ASDFGHJKL

IT WENT BEYOND

And so much longer than I ever thought. Like after a short fade to black was the usual, so I was expecting that but OH NO NOT THIS TIME LIKE... WRITERS PLEASE ( //>///<//) MY SANITY WAS NOT ABLE TO TANK THAT

the devs making full use of their blended animation state machine with the spicy after-kindled scenario was insane. It's like on a whole new level of expressing their emotion. And the sweat...?! THE SWEAT! the heavy breathing too like... (๑/////๑ " )

You can't tell me this isn't totally a line used so much in fanfics LMAO

🥺 This. When he said "Don't go..." also screamed to me that he was afraid. He still was. The fleeting moments his has with MC, he was scared it'll just disappear

🥺🥺😭😭😭

ASDFGHJKL when this part came up I had to freak the heck out 🤣 jumpscared fr

JUST HOW MUCH WERE THEY GOING AT IT FOR?! 😭 like rabbits??

And him admitting that he's afraid, although indirectly (also sir, you're not answering the question again T^T)

And the way MC says "I know" here. It says so much about how they understand each other more than themselves at this point like 😭

MC reassuring Xavier after this as well, to make sure he understands and knows that he's not alone, and he won't be 🥺

I... what do I even say about this இ௰இ I'm sure there's something to say but brain not braining

And the return of their little domestic moments uwu💖

This had me cackling 🤣 One can never be too careful when Xavier's in the kitchen

And more little things to signify them as a pair. Filling their homes with pieces of each other

And Xavier putting the words he couldn't say into a card like... 😭💖

Him being surprised at himself for how much feelings he has held and how much more there still is. And despite all that he makes sure to ask MC if they'd be okay with it. Xavier always checking in on MC is just precious. 🥺 ensuring they're both on the same page. Be it about work, about the progress of their relationship. It's always about that. Being together and in the same step.

I previously had some reservations about how this memory was resolved but looking back at it again, Xavier's trying to show it in his own way and MC understood and also responded in a way that it's on the same page as him. Alongside with a small little banter to end it uwu

I can't wait to see how their relationship develops further. If and when Xavier grows to be more secure and knowing that MC won't leave him. I can imagine him being a lot more of a menace than he already is. Even if he gets a little jealous, he won't be insecure about it anymore and just kinda does his lil pouty baby act on purpose. That kind of thing! This might just be my own preference speaking but... yea •ᴗ•

[midnight-in-town]

A future Shinigami revolt to destroy an unfair System ?

Part of my "let's explore Kuroshitsuji's main plot threads" masterposts ; the others can be found below :

Is the Phantomhive lineage the reason behind the Watchdog duty ?

Is the Undertaker "Cedric K. Ros--", aka the twins' paternal grandfather ?

The Fenian Brotherhood theory : Vincent was killed for being a political enemy of Queen Victoria

the RCMT : real!Ciel is an antagonist, partly to blame for what happened 4 years ago

Frances Midford is most likely the atypical "Mentor" character of this Shonen series

Let's dive right into this one (warning : long post ahead !) : in Kuroshitsuji, we have many examples of unfair situations. Case in point with the premise, our!Ciel had to choose between dying at the hands of a demonic cult, like his brother, or sell his soul to a demon he summoned to get his revenge.

Amidst that terrible event, Ciel even lost in faith in a higher deity like God, only for Seb upon his summoning to mock his lack of faith :

1) Premise : a system full of lies

The Shinigami organization is another unfair system based, in my opinion, on "punishing sinners who turned their back on God" when they gave up on life and chose death.

However, whereas Seb was rather honest and claimed Ciel's soul as the price for helping him get his revenge from the beginning, the Shinigami Organization is probably anything but.

In ch105, Sascha explains that Shinigamis are basically slaves who are overworked until "they're forgiven", but we've gotten no proof so far in the story about a Shinigami knowing an old coworker who managed to be forgiven (and we have met many Shinigamis).

However, currently working Shinigamis have all heard about deserters.

The most famous deserter, both to us readers but also to some older Shinigamis like Othello, is "the Undertaker" or former Shinigami #136649 :

While the timeline is currently unclear (because Othello mentions the destruction of HQ approximately 70 years ago whereas UT himself during the Campania arc said he was last called a shinigami since "at least half a century"), what's particularly interesting is that Shinigami #136649 was described by Othello as "the Epitome of a Grim Reaper", so exactly the kind of Shinigami you'd expect to "be forgiven".

So why would someone, who would quickly reach the end of his slavery days, turn against the Organization ? Probably because there's no forgiveness, just like there was no other choice for our!Ciel, who "spat upon God", to sell his soul or immediately die.

In Shinigamis' case, the people to blame for upkeeping this unfair system are probably none other than their higher ups, who were described by Othello to "oversee the human world".

Because, to oversee the human world and to gather the souls when humans die, they kind of need a workforce. Hence the overworked Shinigamis, who are supposed to earn their redemption for sinning.

How and why UT found out about the truth of no forgiveness is still unclear, but since he was so talented, it's possible that he was offered to become a higher up and the realization that he was lied to for many decades or centuries made him go rogue. That and the pursuit of freedom being significant to UT's character (see above), which would simply make him hate the notion of a "fated end" for all humans, after his own suicide.

After all, ch105 confirmed Shinigamis were once humans before they chose to die, so it would make sense to imagine that the Shinigamis' higher ups were once Shinigamis too (at the very least we know they're not demons, considering how Seb speaks of them with so much despite).

2) Most deserters are actually rebels, fighting against the system

First, I'd like to point out that, while older Shinigamis like Othello have heard about "the fugitive of legend" because they used to work with him, it's actually interesting that younger Shinigamis, such as Grell, haven't.

After all, if UT was just "tired of this job", like Sascha and Rudgar were guessing in ch105, why wouldn't they warn younger Shinigamis that some of their coworkers may go insane and leave ?

The answer is simple, the higher ups wouldn't want younger Shinigamis to investigate what could have led a brilliant Shinigami like UT to destroy half of HQ, aka "the truth".

So the events of 70 years ago were covered up : they weren't mentioned to younger Shinigamis like Grell or Ronald, and older Shinigamis like Othello were more or less forbidden from interacting with the human world about 50 years ago...

...until the higher ups "started to get serious" about the threat of the Bizarre Doll project and sent Othello on his old coworker's trail.

Secondly, while UT is the most famous deserter to us readers, we know that he's not the only existing one, despite being the only one we've actually met so far. So where are the others and what are they doing ? Well, I can't speak for all deserters, but repeatedly I've theorized that UT is actually not the only deserter working on the Bizarre Doll project.

Let's be clear, UT can have several motives behind the BD project : the most important one to him clearly is also a personal one, which is the revival of the Phantomhive family, as we know thanks to ch140.

But the BD project also threatens the natural balance of the human word between life and death, as Othello explained in ch147, which goes against everything Shinigamis stand for, since Shinigamis are "beings that (are supposed to) stand neutral between Gods and humans". In other words, the BD project threatens the natural order that the higher ups oversee.

And while UT's main motive behind the BD project is personal, other deserters enlisting their help to make it more threatening...

and gaining more sponsors, across different countries...

...are probably more motivated by making it a worldwide shattering threat to the Shinigami system directed by the higher ups.

Finally, as Queen Victoria once said :

And I'd add that the blue sect and blue revenge arcs encompass all 3: Bravat was the lead of a deranged cult for the star lords, the current BD project seems to slowly be growing to become a profitable business [x][x] and the Shinigami deserters are using all of it to wage war against the higher ups and their unfair system.

3) Who gets to decide what is the natural order ?

Another point I'll make to emphasize that the higher ups are shady is that they're also the ones who decide at what pace progress happens in the human world.

But same for life and death, actually. The list Shinigamis work with are distributed to them by the higher ups, as William explained early on:

So life, death and progress are all decided by the higher ups. I don't know about you guys, but I find it's a lot of power to have and the BD project is definitely one way to fight against all 3.

That's why I find it's so interesting that we've got many Shinigamis (Othello, Grell, Ronald, Will and another unnamed one at the orphanage) on the trail of UT and other deserters in the current arc : after all, if UT or other deserters were to spread the truth about how unfair the system is, if just for Shinigamis themselves, maybe it could lead to a Shinigami revolt in the future.

More specifically about Grell, since she's a fan favorite but also because of her actions during the JTR arc : she already went against Shinigami "law" by killing women who weren't on the list, so she'd be a perfect candidate for rebellion if she were to find out that the system she works for (and was punished by, post JTR) is actually full of lies, protected by a few ex-Shinigamis who like to play God and who want to keep the absolute control they have over the human world.

4) A Shinigami revolt against the current system would also be plot significant

And by plot, I am talking about Ciel's revenge. As a reminder, I am personally of the opinion that Queen Victoria and John Brown are the big bad our!Ciel and Seb are going to face and I also believe that JB is either a demon, like Seb is [x][x], or a deserting Shinigami.

However, what's mostly interesting is that Victoria is praised in universe for being a visionary...

...something that Brown being a supernatural creature would definitely be the explanation for, according to Othello. This is probably also the explanation behind her getting ready to launch WWI, 25 years early.

And while Ciel still has to figure out that Queen Victoria is his opponent and why, we also have UT who notoriously despises her :

The Undertaker is, for me, an interesting character because Yana said he "wasn't exactly a villain".

As explained before, UT works on the BD project for two reasons : the main one is personal and is the revival of the Phantomhive family, whose deaths he definitely holds Victoria responsible. On top of that, he also holds the Shinigami system and the higher ups accountable for arbitrarily deciding humans' "fated end" :

In other words, he holds both Victoria and the Shinigami system accountable for the deaths of Claudia, Vincent and real!Ciel.

That's why he "tolerates" Seb by our!Ciel's side, as Seb makes a perfect shield against both Victoria's own demon and the Shinigami system, until Ciel gets close to his revenge. At the same time, UT currently represents Ciel's strongest survival option, seeing as he's the only one so far who represented a threat to Seb in battle.

Don't get me wrong, bringing the dead back and killing the living to make them survive (aka the current arc) is definitely an issue that has to be countered by our!Ciel's side.

However, narratively, since the higher ups being all powerful is also bad because it creates an unfair system, for the Shinigamis enslaved by it but also for humans who have no control over their fate, I can't help but wonder : if UT and other deserters succeed in harming the higher ups' system, will it impact Victoria's war plans ? If so, how ? And what could it mean for the contract between Seb and Ciel, since it's another fated end born from an unfair situation (especially since the story thematically presents revenge as the wrong choice to make) ?

Lastly, we still haven't encountered in the story that one example Will mentioned in ch 35 of a human surviving their fated end, through a Shinigami's judgement, because "they have the potential to be beneficial for this world". So, unless Sensei is getting tired of writing this series, it's definitely something that should be useful later considering it's the only judgement that Shinigamis can make by themselves about life and death.

Hopefully it makes sense. Don't hesitate to add some insights, if you have any. :) Happy new year 2025, y'all ! :D

[thaltro]

Hey, I analyze your bad guys design on TikTok awhile ago, so I really want to analyze the new design of Atrophy mostly on the color scheme you picked and little bit things I said before but add too it. The color looks so good! The white is really nice with the color green slime/goop that Atrophy is made out of, it makes him stand out. Which I believe that what he would want because he definitely has a complex on not being enough so a white suit will make him pop out from others. Also the base symbol of white is purity,innocence, and goodness everything Atrophy isn’t but something he was as a child(if we go by the canon were passive was the kindest person in the multiverse in his story). The mask thing is definitely stuck to his face no doubt about it.how you add the moon and sun theme is so genius, it a subtle detail were it reminds the audience that Atrophy will always be connected to dream and theirs au, even if he doesn’t want to be. Because the mask is stuck on there but I don’t think the tie is so even if Atrophy say he doesn’t want to be connected to dream deep down he does he always has/will/be connected to his brother whether he recognized it or not. The way you made the green more bright on him is great, the base green symbolism is New beginnings, peace, nature, harmony, jealousy, greed which only some those really apply here the New beginnings, jealousy, greed and nature (only a little bit on the nature because it connect him to his mother who became a tree). The new beginnings (him changing looks entirely, his name and like you can say his personality him now and when he was child)(also what goes to happen to him in this story) jealousy ( boy has been jealous since day one) and greed (and this might be a lot of a stretch but believed he deserves so much better so he make sure he has the most lavish things,items,clothes,food, he collections things he didn’t even like,hoarding it because he believe he deserves to have them, he was denied so much as a child so now he has the privilege to make sure no one get more than he had as a kid) even though he secretly hate himself so deeply. (I talk about this before but I promise I adding something new!) He named himself Atrophy because he sees himself as a waste/effectiveness but he rename himself even though nightmare have more villain definition being a frightening, unpleasant because he needs control over himself he needs to feel better about himself so he rename himself because it gives him control, he can’t be hurt when people call him Atrophy because he himself calls himself Atrophy. No one can hurt you as badly as you can yourself. That how I believe why Atrophy name himself Atrophy. Anyway I think this get long enough, I will be back! I can promise you that I’m so excited for your story and everything you have planned! Also I should add psychology has a lot matching colors as Atrophy so it says a lot about these two, maybe I’ll get psych (rubbing my hands evilly to gather) anyway bye bye have a good day or night wherever you’re at!sorry about how long this is and if my writing isn’t the best.

How the hell did you interpret all that accurately? /not mad

I haven’t even posted the webcomic and I have a lot of people send me really accurate interpretations of Atrophy, this one is really good.

Yk in nightwatch I wrote for atrophy not to be shown nuanced or sympathetic light until like mid act 2. Like he does HORRIBLE shit for the majority of the comic, I have to make a chart of content warnings just for his actions. If I ever garnered a small fandom around it I expected little to no analysis of him but I post one picture of him lol and I have like character design theory essays in my ask box.

You are very right on why he named himself, I love how you worded it too.

Atrophy is a hoarder for the exact reasons you mention, Atrophy tries to embody what he never had- power, wealth, and masculinity. Having trinkets and a large home are included in that. He hoards food too, he has an entire basement that he dedicates to non perishable food that he will never eat, as he can’t eat food. He doesn’t know why but it feels safe with it there.

You also noticed how psych and atrophy have color schemes similar, which is 100 percent intentional. All of the characters i directly parallel have similar color schemes. Atrophy and psych are Enemies but also the closest and most familiar to one another. To atrophy psych is just a mirror of himself, which creates a oddly hateful, dependent, and egotistical relationship with him.

The color symbolism especially the green symbolism is intentional. Atrophy is greedy, gluttonous, and jealous and I always associated that with green. He’s also supposed to resemble a wine bottle with his color palette- as a reference to his lavish lifestyle. The moon and sun motifs are in reference to his brother. It’s the only thing atrophy genuinely feels bad about.

I don’t know if I said this already but dream thinks his brother is dead, not in a metaphorical way in a genuine way where he hasn’t seen him in hundreds of years and was told he was murdered. Atrophy is aware his brother probably believes this, but thinks it’s best for them to never meet as he’s changed so much that him dying is not too far off from what he is now. But dream is always at the back of his mind, which is why he has a lot of motifs.

I love this analysis aughsh

Thank you

[perihel1on]

This has been stewing in my drafts for awhile as I try to get my thoughts together, but, this post has given me a lot of peace. (This kind of turned into a personal essay under your post... my apologies).

I'm in an unusual position as a (mostly) interpreted-singlet who spent a number of years as interpreted-plural. Though I'd wager it's slightly less unusual than it seems, and most people with similar experiences simply abandoned or deleted the blogs/spaces where they previously talked about being plural. Anecdotally, I've seen at least one other person openly discuss an experience similar to mine.

In my teenage years, I was psychologically disintegrating from a variety of pressures on me, and I suppose I do mean that rather literally. I never experienced the very sharp discontinuity characteristic of DID, but I was some level of dissociated near constantly for years. I was desperately lonely and very suicidal. Without my alters, I do believe I wouldn't have survived.

I never "made up" being a system. Interpreting my experiences that way made the most sense to me at the time. As I began to heal, I dissociated less and became less fixated on my inner-world and sense of self. I never discussed it openly here, because I felt ashamed, and worried that I'd be accused of either faking or suppressing my alters. But I quietly stopped talking about them, quietly retired (most of) their sideblogs, and quietly used my "system tag" less and less.

But - if you go look at my "system tag" - you'll notice I still use it occasionally. I do still sometimes have experiences that are at the very least system-adjacent. I still dissociate sometimes; now and then I'll get the phantom physical sensations I always associated with Naph; sporadically, my thoughts will take the form of back-and-forth chatter that sounds like a conversation, or default to "us/we"; I'll seem to hold multiple conflicting opinions on the same topic. A few months ago, Ada (our caretaker) talked me down from an anxiety attack while I drove home, and that was an experience so distinct I can't really refer to it any other way.

Previously I would have obsessively interrogated these experiences, trying frantically to fit them into a cohesive picture of self or selves. Now I really just let them happen as they happen. Overall, for me, personally, I think it's healthier to interpret everything as part of one very fluid identity. But when something seems to challenge that, I don't worry about it too much, either. It's a sort of radical self acceptance, I suppose.

For the most part, I don't "miss" my alters, and I also don't "regret" having identified as a system. I'm very grateful to my alters and everything they did for me, but for the most part I now view their strengths as my own. I still have sideblogs for a few of them, but I see them more as places to express distinct facets of myself. I still don't feel like I have a strong, central identity - a lot of facts I hold about myself come with a question mark. I suppose I could call us a median system, if I wanted to... I'm just not sure I feel the need for labels anymore.

I very rarely see the grey area acknowledged and I don't think I've ever seen it put so succinctly as "interpreted-singlets" and "interpreted-plurals". Other than the one other person I mentioned before, I'm not sure I've ever seen it suggested that it could be reasonable for some people to migrate between or be able to interpret themselves either way. This honestly helped me come to terms with it more, to the point I felt like I could talk about it publicly like this.

So, sincerely, thank you.

Hey uh, not sure if there's anything to elaborate on wrt the "wanting to be plural is a symptom of being plural" post, but is that true? Because I've been avoiding that possibility, if only because I've been so sure that it isn't a possibility. I don't really know what I'm saying here it's just, could that post really be true?

So we thought we were the only ones selling this kind of perspective to people, but recently pluralrespect on neocities (which we already liked re: intrasys relationships) started including something similar, but with more structure.

It breaks down like this: Singlets choose to interpret their personal experiences as being one person. It gets privileged as the default because that's how we're socialised, but a (usually unconscious) choice is being made to view all their experiences - including kinda plural-coded stuff like code switching, masking, genderfluidity, weird dreams, varying vibes day-on-day, internal conflict, etc - as representing a singular identity.

There are also a lot of people who's experiences can't realistically be interpreted singletwise - folks that experience switches with totally separate memory is an extreme example. The plural explanation is the only thing that makes any sense of it at all.

This creates this big grey area that encompasses all those interpreted-singlets with kinda-plural experiences, and those interpreted-plurals who could reasonably interpret themselves as singlets (again) if they wanted to. Within this grey area, you have the wiggle room to observe your personal experiences, and conceptualise your identity one way, or the other way.

One of those ways might feel more "right" to you, more sensical, more comfortable, safer - so in that sense, yeah. wanting to be plural is a symptom of being plural. Fantasising about what it would be like to understand yourself in the other way is probably a sign that you should try it - see how thinking of yourself that way feels, just for a day or whatever. If it's too weird, go back. If not, keep going.

Now, letting yourself have an open mind may invite experiences that make a singlet interpretation less sensible - so only test the waters if both possible conclusions are safe for you to have. Outside of that, you can always change your mind - so, give it a shot.

[old-fandom]

Going off of my post of Stancest being gawked at during their love making on the boat by anomaly, I raise that the same thing happens at the Mystery Shack.

Stan and Ford come home for the season with the twins. They're so busy getting themselves and the kids settled, getting ready for the busy season, getting their boat checked and upgraded after being hauled from the harbor to the Shack. All of that while having to remind themselves to stay hidden in their affections and remain relatively platonic in front of the others. They aren't at sea anymore. They do have to be careful with what they do, they don't need others poking in on their business.

So one night, after everyone has gone to bed and most things have finally settled, Stan is out back on the couch smoking. It's 1am and he thinks he's up by himself, looking into the dark woods, when he feels Ford come out. At first, it's just to check up on him. They haven't been a part in months now and so that sense of needing to be right next to each other is so strong, especially now they were romantically involved. Stan tells him he's fine then pats the couch.

Ford comes to sit next to him but Stan is having none of it. He puts an arm around him and practically gets Ford to cuddle up next to his side, which he does, but not without a whispered warning. They were still outside and the kids could be awfully sneaky when they want to be. So they sit and cuddle and relax but Stan wants more. He has been deprived of his lover, so he kisses him softly. Ford warns him again but Stan just looks at him like he's hung the stars. He's so beautiful. Stan kisses him again, putting his cigar in the ash tray next to him.

Ford...Ford is a weak man. He kisses Stan back, wrapping his arms around his neck, leaning all the way in. Finally, Stan picks Ford up and puts him on his lap, hands gripping his thighs. Ford has his hands in Stan's hair while they neck like teenagers. Finally, Ford starts kissing down Stan's neck, and Stan is immersing himself in the feeling. He's missed this so much.

He doesn't know what came over him but he cracked open one of his eyes behind Ford and froze.

A slew of supernatural creatures, some he recognized and some he did not, were standing or crouching in the yard, watching them. Gnomes, the Hide-Behind, Eye-bats, a few fairies, a random Manotaur, a unicorn, and even Steve. Ford tells that Stan has frozen up and looks behind him.

All of the beasts and the Stans are stuck looking at each other. While trying to make sure that the humans didn't see them, they never thought the anomalies of Gravity Falls would see them.

They all get sworn to secrecy by Stan, seeing how he is still revered as their Hero and because he is not afraid to punch any of them. The merpeople in the ocean were different, they didn't follow them home, but this. This was too close to home.

The rest of the summer is spent with Ford and Stan keeping a low profile in front of people and other anomalies, but no matter what they did, they always seemed to attract one supernatural entity.

Ford has chalked it up that because they themselves are anomalous separately (6 Fingers/Possible Weirdness Attractor) and are anomalous together (Incest), it attracts others to seek them out. (Ford would make deals with them to let them watch them go all the way if they will answer any and all of his research questions)

Stan thinks they are just gross voyeurs that see and opportunity and take it. (He's not opposed to fuck Ford in the woods while they watch, especially it makes them all aware who Ford belongs to.)

[01zfan]

01ZFAN WRAPPED 2024

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 365 days, 74 fics, and 497,800 words later we are already into the new year! after being tagged in a year end post and being swayed by the timeline i want to kind of do a little something like a year end review of me and some of the works i posted throughout the year. let's go on a little trip down memory lane! here is my masterlist for the works i'll be referencing and much more. BLURBZ ARE NOT INCLUDED simply because i don't really count those as full fledged works and there's not much to say about them.

MY MUSES

OSAKI SHOTARO

8 fics 60.2k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: MARRIED COUPLE/ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

OUTLIER: PRETTY GIRL DISCOUNT | HOOKUP/PLUG!SHOTARO

SONG EUNSEOK

18 fics 123.1k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: HOOKUP/ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS

OUTLIER: YOUR BIRTHDAY | ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

JUNG SUNGCHAN

18 fics 110.7k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

OUTLIER: NOT MINE | CHEATING/ANGST

PARK WONBIN

9 fics 61k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/HOOKUP

OUTLIER: MOVIE | SECRET RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

LEE SOHEE

9 fics 65.6k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: ANGST

OUTLIER: GOOD LUCK CHARM | FLUFF

LEE ANTON

12 fics 77.2k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: FRIENDS TO LOVERS

OUTLIER: SEE YOU AROUND PT. 2 | SOMETHING WITH BENEFITS/ANGST/BREAKUP

BONUS: MULTIMEMBER | 4 FICS

NOTHING IN COMMON. ALL OF THEM ARE CRAZY

FIRST AND LAST FIC

summer | s.es january 3rd, 2024

big shot | j.sc december 31st, 2024

of course i began and ended the year with my youngwonz. it's hard to tell if my writing has improved or gotten worse. i think the only way to tell would genuinely be to rewrite summer and see what i'd do different. i will say though deciding to go to autocaps was a good decision on my part because i think it makes for an easier read. i will say i went more in depth with the descriptions and everything in summer as opposed to big shot. but i will say i like how i don't need as many words to convey what i want to say anymore.

TOP FIVE FICS

twelve grapes | l.at 1,601 notes

paint you | l.at 1,385 notes

necklace | p.wb 1,369 notes

should've told me | l.at 1,251 notes

rainy day | l.at 1,155 notes

i understand now that you guys don't play about anton. like at all. i was going through all my fics like DAMN all of my hits are anton and then a short wonbin fic fighting for its damn life. thank you to my anton girlies i will try my best to keep you guys fed with amazing fics. i had no idea that any of these would be popular ESPECIALLY twelve grapes like jafnkjdfnkjsnf. you guys are amazing.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

film it | l.sh 490 notes

this was a fic that some people put on their recommended list, and a few people i've seen put this in their top five when i asked all that time ago! i really liked the concept of skater!sohee and their little story together. i can see him having a little skate crew looking for someone to film their tricks. also a happy sohee fic we cheered! i loved the readers room so much it reminded me of the room i wanted to have as a kid heh.

(honestly any of my sohee fics could've ended up here even though a majority of them are sad i always really really really like how i end up writing sohee.)

miss you more | s.es 878 notes

this fic...this fic...no i really have to say i'm surprised this didn't even break top ten in terms of notes like i feel like everyone loved this fic DOWNNNNNN. something about the yearning and the angst and eunseok being a good father just had so many of us down extremely bad. i think about this couple so often and ever since my dear friend told me this fic reminds her of siena by the marias i think of them everytime i listen to it. this fic is probably the one i've gotten asked to do a second part for the most out of all of my fics. i do have to say though, it's never happening. the open ending and the ambiguity of it all adds so much to the story and makes it so real to me.

trigger finger | j.sc 898 notes

this is still one of my favorite sungchan fics i've ever written. i love love LOVE it and the story and the party and the buildup. i feel like so many people like this fic because it's so him like jsfkjdfnskdjf. the doting perfect little boyfriend who never gets mad and you just wanna push his buttons.

stress relief | o.sh 263 notes

the drop off on these notes but IDGAF IDGAFFFF i love my shortaro fics so freaking much. at this point i write them for myself and i will continue to do so because i love writing for him so bad. this fic is my favorite because i just love the love they have for eachother and the mutual understanding. also i love the song too sweet by hozier so freaking much too so i really enjoyed writing this fic and i feel like i set the scene so nice likeee he's coming home late and you're still up. this fic makes me sick to my stomach because i want shotaro so freaking bad you guys.

LONGEST FIC

seriez: argue with you | 31.8k words in total

JESUS CHRIST....no i was actually in shock doing the math the last part for this seriez was 17.9k words. this fic took so much out of me oh my goodness. i remember doing the third part as a special event for hitting 1k and it took me like two months to finish. i seriously can't believe i wrote that much and i don't remember any of it. if you were here for the argue with you seriez and you read it i love you with all my heart.

standalone: peach fuzz | 12k words

this fic ended up going over my original word count just becasue i loved the story so much. friends to friends with benefits to a secret third thing is something so dear to me. camp counselor anton you still have my entire heart. i really love the summer caamp idea so much and i really like the ending scene of them at the pier TT i always envision it like a movie.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

bike peg | 11.6k words

such an amazing fic to write. i love everything about this fic seriously. the runaway coming back home for rehabilitation. the scenery of the city on the water with nothing better to do than riding around on your younger sisters bike. the mutual understanding between wonbin and the reader. the sofa with the plastic still on it. like something about this fic is so homey to me and was so comforting to write despite the very sad underlying theme that i didn't even realize how long the word count was. i am genuinely so proud of this fic, it's like my baby.

contact | 11k words

a more recent work of mine. now this fic i read it so quickly i'm surprised each time that it's 11k words. i really like the story told here heh my only regret is that i didn't dive deeper into the funeral part of it. i kinda still wanted to make it readable without mentioning death too much but love and death keeps us together! (magdalena bay reference). but yesss i love this fic and i love each word of it.

2024 MILESTONEZ

so many things happened to this account last year! surpassed 1k followers, finished my first seriez, wrote my first multichaptered fic, got my first commission! i had no expectations for this account so everything i achieve here is always such a shock but i welcome it with everything in me seriously!

WHAT'S NEXT

finishing my rock the house seriez, doing alot of commissionz, doing next parts for several awaited fics, hopefully getting some more people to join this lovely community of writers so i have more things to nibble on. in 2025 i also hope to dabble and try writing darker stuff! not in the sense you may think, but i want to try writing things that involve murder, stealing, and in general just more morally ambiguous things. i don't want to reveal what i have in mind but i want to really try more things involving characters and getting better at scene descriptions too! ALSO. MORE HAPPY SOHEE FICS.

this was such a long wrapped i'm sorry but i was so busy this year LMFAO. thank you everyone for making this such an awesome year for 01zfan. i am super grateful for all of you guys, and i would genuinely really really really love to hear about your favorite fic(s) of mine from 2024 or what you'd like to see in 2025! i am open and i always love to hear what you guys think of everything hehe

[ekgfiction]

Hi, I'm back?

...Hello everyone ! This is a very much needed update after a long time of not posting... sorry.

First of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who sent me a kind message, you are angels and I'm so sorry it took me this long to answer your questions.

For those who don't wish to read a long text that looks too much like a page from my diary, here is the summary. I'm officially back working on OLYMPUS. I don't promise you much, but one update a month for now (not necessarily a game update, but an update on me working on the game...yay?).

My 4 goals for January are a lot of ground:

Finish the character pages

Relearning twine

Update the outdated info on Tumblr / itch.io

Fix prologue (because of changes in the outline)

And for those who are nosy like me and want to understand what I was doing until now, buckle up !

I started this blog in the summer of 2021 and posted the demo for OLYMPUS exactly three years ago, in 2022. At the time, I was living alone in the US, with no life outside of work and this project, which was very dear to me. It was my first "real" creative project I wanted to be serious about. I was also very depressed, being alone and away from friends and family sucked.

When I came back to France in the summer of 2022, I was determined to work on the game again. But then, real adult life happened ! My health issues, that I didn’t understand yet, started to really affect me. I lost two dear family members, saw my best friend become a mother and discovered that being a teacher is a fucking hard job. I was an intern teacher and had a final exam at the end of the school year to be a "real" teacher. So I focused on that, and it was a success. A couple of days after that, I decided to go back to OLYMPUS, and that’s when my laptop broke.

The one I had since I was 18 years old. Which contained not only all my class materials from my first year as a teacher, but also my essays and memories of my college years, and all my writing. And I mean, all my writing. From my very first bad fan fiction on Amour Sucré (or My Candy Love in English) that I wrote when I was a teenager and that I managed to save on my laptop, to all my documents on OLYMPUS, a project which had 5 years at this point. I was devastated.

Moving to the Paris suburbs for work didn’t help. I was finally back living somewhere close to my friends and family, when my job made me move far away again, to one of the most expensive and yet hardest place to work as a teacher in France. Because of the very high rent, I was first in a shared apartment, which was not the greatest. Work was even harder to manage. At the end of 2023, I felt stuck, watching life around me move forward while I barely kept up.

In 2024, things began to shift. I let go of some things and people, but made new friends, joined a DnD group, traveled, and even saw Dimension20 live in London (how crazy is that !). I moved out of my shared apartment into a cozy studio, traveled around France to see my loved ones, and finally got a diagnosis for my autoimmune disease, which helped me understand and manage my health. I also bought a new computer and started writing again !

Not on OLYMPUS though, no. Not at first.

The thought of returning to it felt overwhelming. The asks in my inbox, the followers, and the questions on itch.io made it feel like an impossible task. I convinced myself it was too ambitious of a project for a beginner like me. That no one cared anymore—not even me. It’s better if it stays a a silly little daydream I think about on my way to work.

Then, someone left me a kind comment asking if I was still working on the game. It wasn’t the first time someone asked me that, but something clicked. I thought of the me that posted the demo in 2022, how she felt and how I feel now. Maybe, if I started again now, it would be alright? I feel better, healthier. Instead of seeing the project as a burden, something I didn’t accomplish, a very public failure, I wanted to give it another shot. And if I failed again, so what? At least I'd tried. I don't to give up on this story.

I had to start from scratch of course, because everything but the demo on itch.io was lost. Rewrote the world building and the outline. I haven’t finished everything, but I finally feel like I am at a good place to start working on it again. Like, actually working, writing it. Not just my world building, or the outline. I am sure I made a lot of changes from plans I had before, and will probably change it again at some point. But that’s fine. You're pretty much having the first draft of the game anyway, and it'll be easier to rework things than to start anew every time.

This time, I’m being realistic: I’ve set aside four hours a week to write, balancing work, hobbies, friends, family, and my health. It doesn’t sound like much, but to me it sounds manageable, and adaptable to my work and my health. It means I could update you once a month on things I plan to do and have done.

So, for January ! The plan is to finish the character pages, which should take a week. Then, I want to spend some time on twine to relearn how to use it and eventually redo the prologue to fit the new outline. I also have to update itch.io and tumblr as well. Basically, a lot of ground work to let me start the final week of January with the first work path of chapter 1.

Anyway, if you read everything and reached this far, omg thank you so much and sorry I know it was way too long.

Really, thank you. I can't explain how much you, and all of this means to me. Your likes, comments, asks kept this project alive when I didn't believe in it nor in myself.

Love, Elena

[florenceisfalling]

hi. i know who you are! and thank you for reblogging this bc it made me realize i meant 2 put "message me" rather than "ask me" in my original post. i prefer 2 have individual conversations with ppl on these topics these days bc i find it reduces the inflammatory nature of it all. but i'll chat! 👇

It's too bad everyone exclusively uses them as obligatorily publicized personal descriptors

this is not true! tme/tma are for indicated institutional transmisogyny, not interpersonal. while i'm not stupid enough to think intent always equals action, and i'm aware me not seeing something does not mean it never happens, i have yet to see a transfem demanding that people use tme/tma in their bio or as a personal descriptor or so forth. as described by txttletale, these terms are not universal but are still useful!

i understand the hesitation around these terms, but like many labels they are trying to communicate a complex societal issue in as simple terms as possible.

it's never used to mean anyone else except when explaining it totally means other people to

i understand seeing it that way, but just because you read every post with the word "tme" as meaning "transmascs" does not mean that's what the posts are actually talking about.

as being "exempt" from the only transphobia worthy of having a name!

this is sort of silly. you just used the word transphobia right there! a word that suits most needs in the transmasc community!

If you've discovered these hidden transmisogyny ninja and you claim to care about trans women and how they're treated by transandrophobia discourse, it's a moral imperative that you back up these claims to me

i like that i made a post reaching out as a transmasc to other transmascs to talk as nicely as possible abt this issue and i get immediately hit with someone else being as snide and snarky as possible about it. do you maybe think this serves as a bad representation of your ideals? i also don't just "claim" to care about trans women and this phrasing becomes funnier the more you know me irl

I've seen a lot of trans men get called bitches and outright transphobic slurs and also get rape threats so idk maybe that's bad of everyone to do? Maybe people who claim to be transfeminists shouldn't be doing it either.

i agree! you'll find later in my post that i said trans men being shitty doesn't excuse all of transfems' jokes or responses. then you said "not how it is" with no elaboration!

personally got tons of anons calling me slurs for trans men saying I was faking being a trans woman.

sorry that happened! if we're going to bring up our personal experiences with being misconstrued as opposing sides of the tme/tma dichotomy, i actually have some experiences to share. while i am exempt from institutional transmisogyny ive experienced it a shit ton on an interpersonal level, almost entirely from transmascs. in fact a transmasc irl who was a pedophile and rapist spent 2 months trying to paint me as a child predator, necrophile, lesbian-defiler, ugly freak, etc., all while doing crimes against someone i care about, and used the fact that i looked like a transfem "man in a dress" to back this. that was probably i think the most dehumanized i've ever felt in my life. i've had transmascs try to bar me from sapphic spaces and label me a danger to cis women for associating with particular trans women. i've had trans men say they envied my hormone disorders and joke about them under the assumption i was a tgirl. that's only including a fraction of the offline harassment!

Because I can. That's the argument you're making rn.

while i don't think people should be sexually harassing terfs, either, i think theres a bit of a difference between the dynamic terfs (oppressors) have with transfems (oppressed) to the dynamic trans ppl have with each other - especially since, from what i've seen on your blog, you assert that trans men and trans women are oppressed equally but differently, and not necessarily by each other. even in that context, if tboys FOR CERTAIN didn't have some kind of privilege compared to tgirls, these comparisons still wouldn't be equivalent, bc it'd be even playing field versus privilege and underprivileged.

Not how it is. <3

the specific example i had on my mind when i used the term "disproportionate" was the instance of a trans guy talking about "hunting baeddels for sport" (bad), a trans woman thus joking in response about a "bomb that blows up all transmascs" (bad), and then a man fucking reporting her to the fbi (FUCKED?). a bomb that carefully detects your gender while decimating people around the globe is impossible and so far from a legitimate threat that it's ridiculously silly! and yet!

i would say trying to weaponize legal power and COUNTERTERRORISM against a tumblr post by a venting minority is a bit much, no?

some ground rules, okay?

genuinely, legitimately, i would rather you insult me directly than trying to condescend me like this on my own post.

I get to respond with some really nasty, horrible, just downright disgusting stuff leveled at trans men for every example you give, okay?

you can do whatever you want! i do ask that if you're going to bring in "rules," i'd prefer if you also did us both a favor and only used evidence from this year so we're both on a recent page. i'd also appreciate understanding that you are a blog that primarily posts about this discourse and i am a blog that primarily posts about jacksepticeye of all things, so i don't exactly have an excess of screenshots and such on hand here comparatively

i already mentioned txttletale for her good opinions so it seems fitting to start with acknowledging the massive harassment campaign she experienced alongside maia crimew and a few other tgirl bloggers over the ezra toonimal situation, where a trans man preyed on children (on a site where many of the victims were trans girls) and various trans and cis men (tyler neotrances, ptsilenthillremaster, roadhogsbigbelly, etc) decided to insinuate that there was a widespread transfem predator problem and pedojacket based on them reblogging a post with 20k+ notes. here's a post i made about it so i dont have to rescreenshot

and of course when we're talking about major harassment it's absolutely necessary to mention predstrogen and the fact that after the site got her deleted and the ceo sexually harassed her on twt she had to Also deal with people accusing her of threatening rape towards transandrobro trans men (not something she did, the worst thing was that she called someone a "cocksucker", tho transmascpetewentz is a young teen and should certainly not face harassment, he also was chummy with terfs and zionists) all while trans girls were getting spammed sexual harassment in asks bc they spoke out abt it.

note the "gendiebrainrot" url, which really calls into question the recurring choice to accuse trans women of being radfems when transmascs and self-identified "gender critical dysphoric females" comprise enough of the online terf base that terfs post in the transandrophobia tags to put down trans women-

meanwhile the cryptoterfs ^ in the transandrophobia tags interrupt people criticizing the "restrictive" terms tme/tma to use their own restrictive binary when its about how amabs are going to "subjugate afabs" to prevent "terf political force"

though its not surprising to see weird transmisogynistic theorizing on where transandrophobia comes from since thats a recurring theme

people make it about jealousy or sexual attraction, and silence trans women by insisting trans unity just needs to be achieved through trans sexuality and romance (like in the asks above from the predstrogen sitch)

especially bringing up t4t which is funny bc that term started for transfem4transfem lesbians, though ofc its spread

and lastly if you wanna see how the plain and simple transmisogyny continues through callouts i recommend looking through patricia-taxxon's notes from this past month and seeing the way transmascs approach her completely justifiable nervousness. but its very easy to see the blatant misgendering and taking these women wildly out of context and so on.

we can have conversations for a million years about the fact that some trans women are assholes to trans men and vice versa and would probably get nowhere because, in your defense, me making a post where i go "well the trans guys were mean first" is not the best argument. to be completely real with you ive been awake almost 22 hours and i am incredibly sick atm and i should probably have let the post sit in my drafts a bit longer. however!

i think its worthy to note in terms of severity just how prevalently "baeddel" gets thrown around like its not a slur by people who want to argue that "theyfab" is. i highly dislike theyfab as a term except in rather particular situations, but i don't think pointing out that some nonbinary people do in fact use their cagab as a crutch for bad takes is a crazy concept. especially when people compare it to "shemale," and the last time i checked "theyfab" wasn't an incredibly dehumanizing porn category

additionally consider the sheer severity of the actual reaction, not just the words, with trans men vs trans women - spacelazarwolf is a zionist transandrobro who still manages to make it onto my dash every five seconds, but avery predstrogen got hounded off the site... when a trans man says a transmisogynistic slur and says he wishes he could hunt people for sport, that gets a negative reaction, but it doesn't get him fucking fbi reported. ezra toonimal was legitimately an out and proud child predator and still gets to be on this site while the internet accused maia and healed and avery of making lolicon and incest into a hashtag trans thing.

i also think trans men should get the opportunity to talk about their oppression and i absolutely do not think its acceptable for trans women to threaten or harass them, but the denial of context is an issue. as is the denial of trans women just materially, statistically, politically suffering more. i think transmascs venting their frustrations by threatening trans women with violence and sexualization takes on a very particularly bad taste when considering that trans women are the vast majority of trans people killed, and statistics claiming trans men get sexually abused more lack data on v coding in prisons. i think the rampant pedojacketing campaigns on this site and willingness to accept anonymous baseless rape accusations toward tgirls not only are a form of sexual harassment and abuse but that they reflect a greater transmisogynistic dehumanization that characterizes tgirls as predatory freaks. i think that transandrobros chalking up transphobia to anti-masculinity or emphasizing trans women being amab further affects them being seen as a third gender that is inherently oppressed.

i really don't think you're a transfeminist, but i dont hold it against you as i am incredibly familiar with the urge to self flagellate my identity for acceptance. im going to try to nap now

there was a brief period of time when i empathized with transandrobros largely out of my personal discomfort as a nonbinary person with the terms tme/tma - this pretty much entirely dissolved when i began to understand those terms not as obligatorily publicized personal descriptors but as tools with a communicative purpose. perhaps more importantly, i learned that most of the people involved with the proliferation of the "transmisandry/transandrophobia" concept were treating trans women like complete and utter shit and then making tgirls out to be the instigators. for this reason i seriously encourage every transmasc who finds themself feeling riled up against trans women to, like, double check the kind of messages and comments the angry girls are getting. i promise you, it becomes a lot more evident why those women are describing discomfort or fear or bitterness around trans men when you see the kind of sexually abusive, misogynistic, violent messages they're getting first. no, that doesn't excuse every joke or response, but it makes you understand how disproportionate the transmasc reaction can be. and if you can't find what i'm talking about, you don't see any examples of trans men being misogynistic, literally just ask and i'll be happy to provide as wide a range of examples as possible

[saltseashark]

famblies (found or otherwise)