#but it got just fine when it was at max XD

[faceless-dude]

I couldn't help it

[hitchyboi]

Dating Havik Headcanons #1

Y'ALL OKAY THIS IS FOR MEEEEEEE XD I NEED MORE HAVIK AND GOD DAMNIT I'LL PROVIDE IT IF NO ONE ELSE WILL!

Oki thank you~

Content Warning- It's Havik. Gore, Blood, Violance, Self Mutilation, one small NSFW bit, Swearing (That's just me)

Cuteness aggression to the max. He can't help it, his partner is so precious when he's hugging them all he can imagine is squeezing them until their ribs break and pierce their lungs. If he's caressing their face, they can feel the way his fingers twitch, itching to dig his nails into their soft flesh.

He chews and bites. A lot. After Scorpion burned his face off he realized his ability to just straight bite things got easier without skin in the way. Will hug his partner from behind and chew on their hair cause he likes the texture. Cuddling? Random bites the entire time and they range from light and playful to you think he's genuinely trying to eat you sometimes. He isn't, kinda. Just likes biting.... Sometimes he may be trying to take an actual bite. Romantic Cannibalism.

His name has become a confusing mix of a disgust and comfort. If anyone ever calls him Dairou he gets insanely mad, remembering his life in Seido in the lowest caste and all the dictatorship over his life. Yet when his partner calls him his name... its almost like a comforting blanket he's never felt being wrapped around him. He doesn't have to be Havik, Cleric of chaos and symbol of anarchy. He can let himself relax for a moment, his worries can drift away for another day. With his partner... he can just be Dairou.

Surprisingly he is a good cook. Now his method of cooking may be a bit... unorthodox. You don't really know what he's cooking with. Or how he even got it in the first place. But give him some meat, herbs and spices and a fire. He'll be able to roast up a good tasting meal.

Has issues with monogamy. Not being faithful part but more the idea of having fidelity forced onto him? He doesn't like the idea of rules or societal norms re-shackling him after he's gained his freedom. If his partner is fine with polyamory or having an open relationship, great. If his partner isn't comfortable, communicating it as a personal preference and comfort level would gain more an understanding reaction from him rather than telling him he needs too.

Man's comfortable as hell in his relationship and partner. Would never tell his partner what they can or can't do or wear cause fuck that shit. You wanna go to a club wearing a sexy ass outfit and show yourself off? He's your hype man. Go out nude, he'd support it.

Will kill a man if someone messed with his partner.

Has killed a man for messing with his partner.

Has a habit of mutilating himself at the most random of times. Almost like the habit of cracking one's knuckles he starts to feel stiff and really uncomfortable if he hasn't snapped or torn a part of his body for a while.

His partner will have to force this man to put on a shirt if they are going out in Earthrealm. He doesn't understand the social norms of Earthrealm and frankly... he doesn't give a shit to learn. He'll eventually put on a shirt if his partner insists for their own comfort

Has tried to fight police officers, many times.

Getting this man to properly bath himself is a hassle on its own. He grew up in a way where bathing was a luxury few could afford so self care isn't something he's well versed or keen on. If his partner insists that they'd join him in the bath or shower then eventually they'll be able to pull his grimy ass into the water. Once he is in the water however, good luck getting him back out.

Lil NSFW~ Any marks his partner makes on his body during night time fun will always be saved on his body. He'll never fully heal them up, scars are like a badge on honor to this man. Now he gets to walk around with more scars and scars that his partner placed on his body from how well he was fucking their brains out.

[totaldramafan-lauri]

I just wanna vent out about something.. about golden cheese..

I think I'm starting to lose interest in her, I don't know why but I guess it was the lack of content of her, no offense I wasn't getting bored or anything but.. I'm scared I don't wanna lose feelings for Golden cheese cookie.. I dont wanna let go because I love golden cheese cookie for almost a year now.. well not good compare to you but I'm just scared, I don't know why I'm scared when I lost feelings with fictional characters all the time but golden cheese was an exception.. an exception that is bothering me for awhile, I don't wanna lose feelings of her since I still love her but Im getting real bored of her due to the lack of content..

I may seem impatient and all because of the lack of Golden cheese content that's why I'm venting to a more dedicated fan of Golden cheese, it's you Lauri.. what do I do?.. no offense but I just want advice because I don't wanna get stuck on this stage tha might bother me for awhile..

I love her, I don't wanna let go of this love because of how much time and dedication I took I spent on the crk game on her, I do it for fun events too but all the reason I even joined this game because of her.. I joined because of her, I played because of her! I maxed out her level first this last few months but what do I get? Getting stuck on the loading screen where I can see the golden cheese cookie! and now this heck of a connection keeps saying 'network error connection' when my network is strong and fine, my phone too is expensive and new! Like.. Devsis.. you don't want another boycott do you? Because this is getting too far that you aren't even bothering to fix it..

I'm really sorry Lauri but I'm just so frustrated, I want to max out Golden cheese soulstones and all so I just keep playing.. I eventually got mad.. and maybe have taken my anger on Golden cheese cookie.. and after that.. oh how deeply I regret it because I just blame golden cheese for the Devsis doing.. because oh heck no.. I am and I am going to see my wife!! Like.. why aren't you letting me Devsis! It's been weeks since I logged in due to this error!.. I'm stuck at the LOADING SCREEEENNNN!! Ughhh.. I'm crying so much.. I might even have to delete my account and start over... I just wanna cry... T-T) just.. like it is hard to let me see my wife in-game!?..

Sorry for yapping all that Lauri.. just want your advice on what to do since.. I'm so so sorry for saying all that, I just wanna know if I should just give up or continue pressing that 'okay' button on the screen or just make a new account and delete the new account or something.. Im so sorry if this makes you sad or feel bad. I'm really sorry :(((

.. I'm just so bad and frustrated right now.. I can't even log in and check my golden cheese cookie.. all this is making me tired and it's hurting and making my feelings go away from golden cheese cookie.. oh my gosh.. I just don't.. I don't want to deal with that button that pop on my face like 'network connection error' like it was a taunting me.. I just wanna throw my phone on the heck of a wall or something like that!..

I' might take a break from Golden cheese cookie for awhile, glad that I loved her all these months, and these days.. I'm just so proud of myself for even keeping this up.. Still your fan though, I won't stop reading your fics even if it isn't a golden cheese cookie anymore.. and maybe I might move to FPE fandom anytime soon because I'm just tired of Devsis doing all this.. sorry for all the venting I did.. :(((

For the lack of content....I....I actually understand. Th-the same thing happened with me with Affogato, where.....I-I still love him, and he's still my king, but the fact that next to nothing's been done with him since Odyssey made me kinda lose focus on him over time (I was still MIFFED that he didn't appear in the Matcha update with the rest of the CoD tho XD). With Golden Cheese, tho, it's.....it's different.....I-I'm still hooked on her....so.....i-if you wanna know why, uh.....part of it is my fic, but also....

L-look at it this way. There are a lot - like, a LOT - of characters in CRK. It's impossible to focus on one character constantly when they're always adding more. However, the Ancients are the true main characters of this game, so....they're a case where we KNOW more content is COMING eventually. E-especially with the Beasts. So....th-that's what I keep telling myself. More content of her is coming. I dunno when, but it IS coming....e-even if it takes a while, I'll be there, and....i-in the meantime, the rest of the stories they release will keep me occupied til I see her again....

(That being said, there's also no shame in taking a break from the game until an update that reignites your interest. People do that all the time. XD Not everyone is as hyperfocused as me, and that's completely fine. CRK is actually pretty forgiving to returning players)

S-so....yeah.....it's coming. And....j-just like her promise to her subjects that she'll be back for them, the game has promised us that it'll come back to her in time. Like I said, the Ancients ARE the main characters of CRK at this point (Gingerbrave is just a mascot now, let's be real XD) And....y-yeah, that's how I hold on to hope. TBH, once I fall this hard for a character, usually it'll last me a couple years even with a lack of content - I had a crush on one character based on a single pilot last me FOUR years - so this kinda thing, it's.....it's different for everyone. I-I hope you understand my thought process, tho.....

A-and in the meantime....that's kinda what fan content is here for....like my fic.....so.....I-I guess I should apologize that my fic isn't good enough to keep you interested in her.....I-I really do my best to do her justice with my writing and....to be self-indulgent, but also make it still feel like her.....as in, in-character, so....yeah, s-sorry.....I-I understand that it's been going on for a while, and....i-if your interest doesn't last that long, I understand, OK....? ^^ Th-thank you for reading....

A-and finally.....a-about your error screen.....I-I've had similar happen to me. F-for a few months, I've had problems with my game crashing (oddly, it's gotten BETTER these last two updates. The crashing was worst during the Mystic Flour update), and.....d-during that time, I did have a bit of a scary experience....

Here's how I dealt with it.

(for other people who aren't interest in in-game stuff, don't bother reading under the cut)

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL ANSWER AN ASK THAT DEALS WITH COMPLAINTS AGAINST DEVSIS. I WILL NOT DO THIS AGAIN. I have endless respect for Devsis and all they've done with CRK, and it's a MAJOR pet peeve of mine when players throw unfair complaints at them for things either out of their control or just calling the game P2W or whatever when it's NOT (except for Grandmaster tier in the arena) and it's just a case of kids being too impatient to handle a game with grinding in it. I HATE things like that. The only reasons I'm addressing it this time is not only cuz it's the first, but also cuz I think I have advice on what to do for this one issue. But I WILL NOT tolerate being yelled at about people's issues with CRK or Devsis. I just wanna talk about Golden Cheese, the characters associated with her, and my fic. THAT IS ALL.

N-now, um.....it wasn't the exact same error you're getting. At least....n-not the wording you're giving me. The "network connection is unstable" error has NEVER lasted that long to me, and it doesn't happen on the title screen. This is probably on your end, not the game's, so please don't make comments about boycotting Devsis. It won't help.

HOWEVER, I have gotten AN error on the title screen before, that wouldn't go away no matter how long I waited. The message was "Failed to load data". I dunno if it's the same one you're getting, cuz I dunno if maybe it's worded differently in other languages or if you're playing in English, but....y-yeah, this is what it was spitting at me. I'd close the game and wait a few hours, but it never went away. The problem is that it never reloaded the title screen. It just stayed there. At least with errors that happen during the game, I can wait an hour and come back. Nnnnnot so much with stuff on the title screen. XD

So....I.....I panicked. And....h-here's what I did.

I deleted the game from my phone, and then reinstalled it. This is NOT the same as deleting my ACCOUNT. My account still existed. I deleted the GAME. Then, when I redownloaded it, I simply just logged back in to my DevPlay account and everything was right where I left it. Th-that's how I survived the biggest scare I've had playing this game. XD

I-I dunno how much this'll help you.....cuz I dunno if it's the same error, and I also dunno how you made your account (like I use DevPlay). B-but.....your issue just....sounded similar to that, so I thought I could t-try to help......I-I'm sorry if it doesn't....

F-for what it's worth, I've been playing this game since 2021, so I....I have a lotta patience with it.....^^;

[twilightknight17]

On this round of P3R, we’re heading to the red-light district!

But first, I just want to say, Fuuka’s link requires MAX COURAGE to start? Omg. Now I’m assuming Mitsuru needs max academics. Good god. NG+ is absolutely gonna be needed for this.

So it’s now the third (technically fourth) full moon! And now that I’m thinking about the Magician and that whole mess, I think it’s a little funny that no one in SEES, in any of our downtime, has ever questioned, “Hey, what the fuck was that thing that ripped itself out of Orpheus and bodied the Magician in one shot? It might help with some of these slogging battles.” But no. It’s fine. We don’t need to know what that vastly powerful persona was. Whatever. Let’s rock.

Shirakawa Boulevard, despite Ikutsuki’s attempts to talk around it, is where the love hotels are!

I’m pressing X to doubt, sir!

So we’re off to the Champs de Fleurs hotel, and actually other than the weird curtained waiting area and sexy price list next to the front desk, it does look pretty normal? Like, it’s a hotel. It’s got hotel hallways and elevators and stuff.

And then we get to the third floor and the equivalent to the presidential suite.

This is labeled as the Hierophant’s Chamber, and… Lovers is supposed to be here? Did the P3 movies just straight-up skip the Hierophant Shadow and I never noticed? XDDD The Hierophant is very round and kind of looks like a really big guy with a lady with a head made of coral behind him.

Hierophant wasn’t bad, actually, and we get to explore the room afterwards before heading back downstairs. The kids clown on a lot of the décor, but like, the silly round bed would be cool for the novelty, and who DOESN’T want a tub that big???

But when we try to leave, we all get knocked out, and Minato wakes up in a different room, where Yukari is taking a shower.

This sounds very like Orpheus, but it’s definitely not Orpheus, because Orpheus would know that Yukari is not our soulmate!

Yes I will continue being biased. XDDDDD

If you say anything other than the correct answer, you get a “wait, that doesn’t seem right” thought bubble, and the dialogue just loops back to the start. You cannot fuck up the mission and game over on a night of brainwashed debauchery. XD

Minato comes to his senses, gets up from the bed, and Yukari comes out wrapped in a towel. She abruptly realizes where she is, screams, and slaps Minato before running back in the bathroom. And… Yukari? I was literally just standing here. Holy shit. Is this the pre-Kyoto warmup scene? God.

NONE OF THIS WAS MY FAULT???

Fuuka gets through to us, and we go back up to the second floor to meet up with Junpei and Akihiko.

I can only assume Junpei and Akihiko were put in the same room.

No one accused you of anything. Although now I’m giggling wondering what would have happened if I’d brought Mitsuru along instead.

We roam the hotel to find the mirrors we need to break to get back into the suite, and this is weirdly hilarious, all things considered.

But eventually we find our way back into the boss arena, and the Lovers has the perfect design, honestly.

GOD is it a bitch to fight, though. This fight took AGES because EVERY time it cast a spell with a charm effect, people got brainwashed. God forbid anyone other than Minato ever dodge an attack. Jesus fuck. I used every single one of my patra gems and dis-charms. Plus it cast diarama halfway through and of course when a boss does that it heals THOUSANDS of HP back to full health. Just give it salvation if you’re gonna do that.

As a brief side note, I love that when Minato casts the Jack Bros’ fusion spell, he just casually walks “offstage” afterwards and leaves them to it.

But finally, we’re out of here.

...Yukari volunteered so that I couldn’t take her out of the party and ruin my scripted undeserved slap. X’D

Gee, Yukari, I wonder if it’s because no one ever has anything nice to say to him? He just gets treated like the comic relief.

Also, we’re being watched by these dudes.

So when you say “we” do you mean you three, or like… humanity as a whole?

Back to the dorm to sleep this bullshit off, and then we move on with our week!

...christ, dude, I just came to see how you were doing. Can I please have a dialogue option so we can talk about this??? No???? Okay… God, this is Mona all over again. My god damn Magicians are always having problems.

...well, that’s nice. I wasn’t expecting that.

People at school are gossiping about how the school was rebuilt after an explosion ten years ago, and I’m getting texts from my attendant, who I apparently haven’t added to my phone? But at least she texts nicely.

It’s pre-exam week, so all my social links are busy. Instead, my academics are lagging, so I’m studying with the members of SEES who aren’t cranky with me. That means Yukari and Fuuka, and Mitsuru and Akihiko. Akihiko recommends doing a quick workout after every few problems, because then, you’ll power through the next set in anticipation of getting to your next workout!

Everyone I live with is insane. I love them. :’D

Ikutsuki calls a meeting to discuss something important, but before he can get to it, Yukari wants to speak. She’s had Fuuka looking into some stuff from the incident that happened ten years ago, and now she wants answers, because she thinks Mitsuru has been hiding things from us.

Other than the explosion, students were sent to the hospital, even though they were formally noted as just “absent”. It’s the same thing that happened to the girls bullying Fuuka; they fell unconscious and were unresponsive. Turns out, yeah, it was the same sort of thing. And it was Mitsuru’s grandfather, Koetsu Kirijo’s fault.

In greater Persona lore, knowing that he broke off from the Nanjo Group, he probably had access to tech that made his bullshit significantly easier to pull off. At the very least, we know he had the blueprints for a prototype anti-shadow suppression weapon, and the method to create artificial persona-users. But of course, he pushed too far.

(Sorry that these subtitles are kind of blurry. Basically, they gathered up a shitload of shadows and then lost control of them, because of course they did.)

Tartarus and the Dark Hour exist because of all of this. The lab explosion happened because they lost control, and because the lab was around/under Gekkoukan, it ended with the school needing to be rebuilt as well.

Yukari is not pleased with this development. She feels like we’re just being used to clean up other people’s mess. But as Ikutsuki puts it, we’re the only ones who can fix things. Normal people can’t fight shadows.

He also says that no one knows why the Arcana Shadows suddenly reappeared after ten years, but… Well.

No one is okay after this.

Junpei is angry because he feels like nothing he does is good enough, and that all he’s really good at is fighting, which won’t be necessary anymore if the Dark Hour vanishes.

Akihiko goes to see Shinji, who he apparently grew up with in an orphanage with someone named Miki, to tell him that they know how to stop the shadows now. But Shinji still won’t come back to SEES.

Me and Minato aren’t okay because I’ve finally started this guy’s social link, and he’s a dick.

Yukari’s dad was the lead researcher on the shadow stuff that led to the explosion, so I assume that he’s the one who got blamed for everything. Ikutsuki mentioned that the media picked one dude and demonized him.

I think this date is wrong, though. If it was ten years ago, that’d be 1999. Right? :/ It’s also just funnier if the lab exploded like 3 weeks after the Sumaru crisis ended.

But I saved the cat! So everything is not a complete wreck.

Pharos comes back to see me and implies some sketchy shit about my parents.

My parents (and my sister, shush, I’m pretending it’s canon) did not explode, though. So this isn’t their fault.

We’re absolutely friends.

After affirming that at least one person will stick by me to the end, even if that one person is a strange child who keeps waking me up at midnight, I come home from school the next day to find everyone sitting around experiencing the most awkward silence ever conceived.

Akihiko, no!

Thankfully, we manage to talk through what’s bothering the group as a whole (Junpei is still mad at me, I think), and Ikutsuki shows up to suggest that after exams, we all go on vacation to Mitsuru’s family’s summer home on the island of Yakushima. Her dad is going to be there, apparently!

Mitsuru reluctantly agrees, Yukari apologizes to her for being too gung-ho and accusatory the other night, and I think we’re all chill again. Which is good.

…….it’s my last night before exams and my option for study-buddy is Ikutsuki???

Nah. I’m out.

[withoutalice]

SEND ME A FANDOM meme: 2001 A Space Odyssey

The first character I first fell in love with:

Ough this one is hard because how I got into 2001 is not applicable but is also pretty relevant for this question...in this case I'd have to say HAL 9000 since I liked him across both movies on the first watch

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Chandra! Mostly because I got to know him better as I read more in depth about him for my rp blog @definedoctrrchandra

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Stop naur I love all of them!!! 😭 (but if I HAD TO choose a least fave it'd be 2001!Movie!Floyd sorry dude you were really lame compared to your 2010!Movie!Counterpart Floyd)

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

I dont really think there's a character that the 2001: aso fandom really hates; but one character that isn't talked about as much that I like is Moon-Watcher!

The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

Again I love all of them!!!😭 But if I had to choose a character who was in my top tens and is no longer it'd probably be Frank. Sorry man xD

The character I would totally smooch: 

Okay hear me out but Dave is kinda fine OK ... 0_o

The character I’d want to be like: 

Literally Max Brailovsky. He's so sympathetic to Curnow and always messes up idioms like "piece of pie" (instead of piece of cake ofc lol). Also when he freaks about about the rotting meat smell on the Discovery is highkey relatable(tm) Also here's my favorite exchange between Curnow and Max (from the 2010 movie) -> Curnow: "Durak". That's me. Max: You shouldn't feel like that. Same thing happened to me first time I did this. Curnow: When have you ever done this before? Max: Never!

The character I’d slap:

the US Government for making HAL lie  🥺 

A pairing that I love:

Halman omg it gives me so many feels

A pairing that I despise:

Frank/Dave. I don't DESPISE it but I'm just indifferent tbf

[goggles-mcgee]

I have a new Steddie idea that is very much angst filled and it hit me freaking hard out of nowhere in the shower. Okay I say pit of nowhere but I was listening to my music and Master of Puppets came on (right after She's Always in My Head by Prince - I love variety XD) and the idea hit me.

Working title is Twisting Your Mind (part of a lyric from Master of Puppets)

Anyways so Canon happens more or less and Steve is feeling like he's just drifting from day to day barely hanging on to himself. He knows he's going to break, to burst, and it's going to be ugly but he's trying to hold it together for everyone. But he feels one bad day from just breaking and crying and never stopping and maybe all the paranoia, the bone-deep sadness and self-hatred, the anger and the tiredness would go away. But no, he powers through it and he does what he does best and he holds it all in and all together.

Steve has been blaming himself about Eddie, he fully believes his words provoked the guy to sacrifice himself, he blames himself for Max's condition, for Lucas's face and Erica's nightmares and the bruises she obtained. He's exhausted, he hasn't been sleeping much because of the nightmares that had the fiercest grip on him and because at the slightest sound he would wake up and have to check all the doors, the windows, the lights.

He was running on Jolt Cola and a prayer!

Then what he feared happened, he had his bad day.

It had started out fine. He had two nightmares but it was fine. He picked up Robin and Dustin to take to school, but when he got Robin he saw hoe tired she was and how stressed she looked and so he suggested a movie night to take a night off studying and worrying about her Senior year. But it was like Trisha's Party 2.0, she gave him a cruel laugh and said, "I know you graduated skating by but I actually want to be proud of my grades Steve! I don't have time for your distractions!"

And at least she didn't call him Bullshit but it hurt all the same so he just apologized and he picked up Dustin, they hadn't spoken the entire ride there. Dustin got in and immediately Steve knew he was in a bad mood and he didn't know why. So he just let boy tell him about what he and Susie were working on, but Steve made another mistake as soon as they got to the school. He asked a question about the project and Dustin had just sighed this put-upon sigh and said, "C'mon Steve, I know you're an Idiot but I thought you could at least listen."

Then he left Steve just sitting in his car. As did Robin but she slammed his door and he couldn't even muster up the strength to scold her for it. All he could do was pull himself together and head to work. Work was awful, people belittled him, yelled at him and he was just so done with the day but he always visited Max. So no matter how much he wanted to go home and just sleep, he went to the hospital. Lucas was of course there, and it was pretty obvious the boy hadn't even gone to school. They sat there not saying anything for a while but then Lucas just started rambling about everything and Steve listened, Steve was there.

But then Steve made the mistake of giving advice, he just wanted Lucas to go home, eat, shower, get some sleep. He knew how hypocritical that sounded but he was worried and he stated so. It made Lucas angry, to the point of tears. Next thing Steve knew he was being yelled at, the words were buzzing in his ears. One word stuck out and it was the one he hated most: bullshit.

After that he didn't know what happened. He remembered leaving getting to his car but after that he wasn't sure, all he did know was that he had made it back to his house and he flew into a rage. He broke things. He's pretty sure he punched a hole in a wall. His room took the most damage, he vaguely remembered writing on the walls but it was the after he hardly remembered. There was a noise and he had his bat but something tackled him and he was out.

__________________

I always end up making these ideas drabbles in some way XD anywho, Eddie has been resurrected by Vecna and he is the Upside-down version of a Vamp. As much as Vecna wanted to go in guns blazing and just send Eddie to cause as much destruction and distress and he could he knew he had to be smart about everything this time around. He thought he had been smart last time. But the same group of people once again were a thorn in his side even if they hadn't know he was behind every previous incident.

So he had Eddie spy on every single one of them to see who would be the best to strike first and that's when he felt something interesting when Eddie was near the Harrington boy. It was the same feeling he got with Eddie. This boy had been affected by his demobats, he didn't know why it was dormant but it was there and if they awakened it, he would have another creature like Eddie under his control. He had planned to kill the boy, truly he should have targeted him last time, the boy was basically a martyr and most likely wouldn't have told anyone what was going on until it was too late. He would have had his four gates easily.

The boy held so much anguish and anger and guilt inside himself, it was beautiful. But he cared so much, too much and One knew he could use that. He let Eddie keep his negative emotions, he twisted his feelings for that silly group of his but when he saw Harrington he knew he could use Eddie's attraction to the boy so he let him have those feelings once more. So Eddie is instructed to kidnap him and it's easy given the delicious day Harrington had.

__________________

Basically Steve is kidnapped and taken to the Upside-down and to Eddie's lair where he was instructed to keep him and persuade him to join them. Steve is happy Eddie is alive but heartbroken that he left him there to be taken over by Vecna but Eddie keeps telling him he doesn't blame him and Eddie truly doesn't.

He knew Steve didn't want to leave him, he had heard it and he and One had been watching Steve's dreams and memories and it was very apparent that the last thing the boy wanted to do was leave him behind.

So even though Eddie is sweet to him, calling him nicknames, he's also telling Steve how awful the others treat him and how him and One would never treat him like that. Eddie would treasure him, One would appreciate him if he only joined them. Of course Steve denys, but Eddie doesn't get mad, he knows Steve expected him to but he knows he'll wear him down.

_______________

The Party notices Steve's absence after school when he doesn't pick them up and Robin had calmed down enough to the point she realized what she had said that morning and wanted to apologize but when Steve hadn't shown up she felt worse than worse. Nancy and Jonathan have to pick them up and they decide to go to Steve's to apologize, the others tag along because they're worried. Will and El are on edge because something doesn't feel right.

Lucas is already there knocking on the door begging to be let in, Hopper pulls up because a neighbor called about Lucas which pissed Hopper off but he goes to see what's wrong. They all go into the house and their worry does not go away. They see the state of the house and just are in awe. Robin wants to cry, Dustin and Lucas aren't any better but then a little old lady came to the door and though Robin had never met her she knew who she was immediately because of Steve's description of her.

"Officer Hopper! Well if it hasn't been a lifetime since I've seen you here. What is the matter is Stevie okay?" It was Mrs. O'Connor, Steve had told Robin she was the only nice neighbor he had and she often brought him casseroles.

Hopper was always quick on his feet, "Oh everything is fine Mrs. O'Connor. Just seemed like Steve headed out of town with a friend and forgot to tell the kids."

"Oh that boy, he's always been one to do things on his own hasn't he? You said he was going out of town? You don't know if it he's going to go see that therapist I recommended him, do you?"

"Therapist?" Hopper asked what they were all thinking.

"Oh yes. Poor dear's nightmares have just been truly horrendous, Frank and I nearly called you over with how bad some of them sounded. I don't think that Boy's slept a wink. But oh, listen to me gossiping like a girl in school. Just let him know I made him this casserole will you Sweetie?" And with that she was gone to leave all of them with the knowledge that Steve was suffering and told none of them. None of them noticed or asked and they felt worse if it was possible.

Hopper was just happy Steve seemed to have someone on his side, they look around the house (ignore the fridge full of casseroles) and take in the damage that seems pretty self-inflicted not like Steve was fighting anything but the more they take in the more their stomachs drop. Then they see his abandoned nail bat and no one had a good feeling and with the way Will and El looked at each other it wasn't going to be good.

El quickly finds out that Steve is in the Upside-down but she doesn't know where and everyone is preparing to find the gate he was pulled through and enter to find him. But every time they try some monster comes out and they have to deal with it.

___________________

Eddie loves having Steve in his lair. He loves taking care of him (he robbed the grocery store in the Right Side Up for what he knew Steve liked and whatever he thought he would need.) The more he tries to talk Steve into joining him he the more he starts to wonder why he should do it all, it's like the anger is slowly leaving him.

"Sweetheart, why fight for them when they never fight for you? They think you're an idiot but I know you're not. You're smart baby, so smart they just can't see that. They don't appreciate all you do for them. Why give them your energy?" Eddie will coo things like that and Steve didn't want to admit it but it was wearing down on him more than the Russian Torture did. The way Eddie would compliment him, hold him, press kisses to his knuckles and point out every time the Party hurt him in some way and how he held down the hurt. It was all becoming too much.

The more talks they had the more Steve started to believe he wouldn't last before the Party found him and when they did he would be gone. He would be like Eddie, twisted by his hurt, his sadness, his anger. But Eddie liked to point out he still had his feelings for Steve, that he felt more alive than ever. Than Vecna said if he joined them that Steve wouldn't have to deal with the poor hearing in his left ear or the strain his eyes took whenever he didn't wear the glasses he hid from everyone.

Becoming like Eddie would fix him. He wouldn't be weak anymore and it was getting more and more tempting as the hours? Days? Weeks? past.

Basically just an angsty story that will hit the feels and eventually have a happy ending. Maybe idk. Maybe Steve and Eddie destroy the world. Maybe they save it.

[egg-emperor]

we beat Sonic Dream Team!! man I'm so glad I could get the chance to play it after all. it was a ton of fun, I went back to 100% everything across all the stages myself because I enjoyed it so much so all that's left to do is the Tails challenges now which are a time locked renewing thing- if it were my choice I would've done all of those by now XD

I like both but this was more my kind of modern Sonic game over Frontiers in design choices and gameplay. the levels look gorgeous and even with my heavy bias of IT'S EGGMAN THEMED aside, they're colorful and fun and well designed. every level was the most fun to play over all of cyberspace, a little too easy but it came with it's occasional fun challenge when getting 100%

the music is the weakest part, some good tracks in there for sure but most just aren't that memorable beyond 3-4 that got stuck in my head because they were good so hey. I really loved the story and overall concept too, it was simple but the concept of exploring Eggman's twisted dreamscape is fucking awesome and I of course have many thoughts about that

Ego City is my favorite stage and I knooow that sounds like bias coming from me but it's well designed and a ton of fun. there wasn't much going on with the bosses and they were super easy but they still all had really cool designs. I looove Nightmare Eggman so much 🥰 I just wish we could've had some more direct combat with him in the boss level but I still appreciate him a lot

I had so much fun it's addictive. I like all classic and modern games that have released in the past few years but it's been a while since I was THIS hooked on a newer title. the only reason I'm not still playing it right now is that it's my bro's TV and that there's nothing else to do on it until those Tails challenges renew dhfjdbdjgkshfj. EXTREMELY HIGH recommend

it's really unfortunate how it's limited to Apple because everyone needs to play this, I hope there is a way for them to branch out eventually. if you want a cheap TV to play it on, the model A1842 is recommended, you can play just fine at max graphic settings! it only had a couple of loading errors that required restarts but other than that it was clear and smooth

[studentbyday]

day 57-58 // 100dop

monday: so this week is an intro to organic reactions and i am SO glad that organic chem is a notoriously difficult subject so you have LOTS of explanations available online and in particular, i'm loving @thecrashcourse's organic chemistry series (really, crash course puts me in the mood to study when nothing else can XD), and just bc I don't get the book or prof's explanations doesn't mean the prof is bad or the book is bad or that i'm an idiot, sometimes we just need a different way of explaining for us to get it and that's completely fine. 🙂

tuesday: i must've gone insane bc i just signed myself up to take 4 courses this fall...how am i already feeling overwhelmed XD the most i've taken in a semester is 3 courses and that was tough, i couldn't do anything else except study - idk, maybe i've smartened up in terms of study skills since then and i can take this load and get A+ in all of them (can you tell how bad my perfectionism is? 😖😅 ...yet i'm hesitant to let it go entirely bc i could also just not try and then not learn much of anything and then what am i spending this money for, going to university????)???? i highly doubt that my study skills have improved much tho 😅😅😅😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 one of those courses is calculus and i have NOT touched that since high school and i barely remember precalc so aaaaahhhhhhhh - i'm hoping to get through some khan academy videos/questions on the topic before September (taking calculus was kind of a last minute decision 😑), starting with "getting ready for precalculus" (i finished a few practice quizzes on polynomials today) because their ACTUAL precalculus section looks scary and unfamiliar (nggghhh how am i gonna do thisss?). also really confused about complex numbers and imaginary numbers and i found a video on it by 3b1b, i'm still watching it (it's an hour and 22 mins long) and i looove how calm i feel when being guided through a specific topic that's confusing me instead of just...feeling overwhelmed by the complexity and the immense info dump in my university courses... finished 2 sections of chem notes, got 2 more left to do...1 of them is really big but i was able to read through the rest of the chapter today (thank God they're not going THAT deep with organic reactions, else i would go crazy) and i seem to understand it, so that shouldn't be TOO much of a problem (i just have to read and think slower than i'd like with these things...)

update: i just counted the max number of hours per day i would spend studying based on the recommended hours per week for each course... that's 10 hours of focused studying. i don't think i've ever focused 100% for that long???? (in the past, I've always gone over...and i think it's bc my focus starts waning pretty quickly but I never realize it until I've snapped back to reality and start really studying again 🙄 smh, i gotta do better than that if i don't wanna have to drop)

[punk-pandame]

for the kank hc's anon

first i love you, second i love you, and third here's some hc's"

Canonverse

used to put on little puppet shows for baby gaara <3 started with just sock puppets and a cardboard box, but as kank got better at building and started practicing to be a puppet master shinobi, he graduated to marionettes and a little wooden performance stand.

temari claimed to hate said puppet shows but every once in a while she'd give him some spare doll clothes for the puppets that she "didn't want" for her own dolls, and he caught her watching with a smile a few too many times to keep believeing her heehee <3

middle child syndrome to the max. he has a super strong older sister and an even stronger younger brother, both of whom im assuming rasa favored. his father may not have put hits out on him "more times than he can count" (6) but he sure as fuck felt neglected!

i think he never had a canon love interest not because they didn't care enough about him to give him one, but because he doesn't need or want a partner. kankurou is cool taking his time and enjoying life on his own and if he meets someone, cool! but if not its no skin off his back, he's just out here doin what he do anyway

while i love world building and think it would be so cool if they had some sort of significance, i honestly think it'd be hilarious if his face paint designs didn't mean a damn thing. he just thinks they're cool and when he finds a pattern he likes he'll stick with it for as long as he likes it

that being said, he sometimes forgets he can just? switch it up? whenever? like he'll be painting the same shit on his face for three years, thinking to himself how much he hates this design now and wishes he could do another one, and mid-paint job realizes he can just. do that. so he scrubs it off and starts over. usually becomes an all-day affair of testing different styles until he finds one he likes enough to wear for the next few years lmfao

temari and gaara are his official face paint reviewers but he doesn't actually listen to a damn thing they say. he does not want criticism he wants emotional support pls and thnx. and it is 100% mandatory. cancel your appointments, kank is having a Crisis.

when he was younger he changed looks more frequently, and would sorta treat it as a a new-year-new-me type thing. inevitably would go too hard on trying to change his whole personality along with the new look and go back to normal in a week or two, but GOD that week or two was so trying for literally everyone around him asllahdjkgha

Modern AU

obviously he's a furry. loves the "yknow like nya?" meme and still does it, without a single care in the world for who may or may not be embarrassed of it

honestly subscribes to the "i am crazy/cringe but i am free" lifestyle he'll just do and say whatever tf XD

that being said, he really doesn't do anything that crazy. like the craziest thing about him is probably being a theatre kid. he likes performing just fine, but his real passion is in the set-building.

autism be damned, my boy sure can work a nail gun

goes SO HARD for halloween you have NO fucking idea. he's building himself a gundam suit as we speak

gamer boy! loves video games and has a sleek PC set-up. started his twitch channel for gaming but his viewers were actually way more interested in all his supplies in the back and now most of his streams are just him building stuff and talking to chat, but he'll bring back the games when he gets hyperfixated on one or a new game comes out.

special interest in animatronics. he loves them so much and will ramble for HOURS if you let him (please let him please god please let him he wants to talk about them SO bad)

[slashingdisneypasta]

What are some things you like about Jim? :3 please absolutely feel free to gush about him ❤

My friend- my friend- there are so many things!! XDD

All the Jim love-under the cut:

He's so many tropes I like crammed into one character!! ^^ :

Creepy/pervy old man ('Maybe I'll come back for ya, huh??' // 'Girls, I got guns.' // Oh god- ).

Lesser of two evils villain (From the 'Plot twist' villain in Final Chapter to the 'Comedic relief' antagonist in Vs Anaconda).

Main villain to fan favourite side character pipeline.

Villain Version of another character (Reba. They shoulda gotten so much ore screen time together for this reason!! ahh)

Crazy old man / Old Loon / Loony tune-ish (Goes 'Here kitty kitty... ' to giant crocs and laughs when he's being hunted by them 😅) / 'Nutbag'. ('What's this- what's this... 'nutbag'... is that what they're calling me in town, now?- ')

... gilf...

'Played by Robert Englund'

Also:

Flannels

SO! MANY! EMOTIONS! AND VIBES! Most characters I notice have a 'resting vibe' that the actors stick with almost the whole time but Jim goes through moods like the weather. One moment he's bashful and guilty, then the next he's intimidating or defensive or threatening, then he could get all excited. I love that! That's so much fun to watch!

For example in Final Chapter when Chloe's accusing him of being a Poacher and he goes through like 10 personalities in one interaction?? He goes from 'Alright fine you got me- i'm a greedy old fart' (Defensive), to 'But right now I'm just trynna save Dennis sorry tree huggin ass and I could really use some help here' (Almost sympathetic). And then two seconds later he's all excited, going on about how he's gonna be rich- then abruptly cuts it off with a glare and that 'You with me??... giddyup.'

ALSO!! When Reba's like 'Can I call you Jimmy?' and he gets all bashful like *shrugs* aw, yeah sure then immediately switches to upset when she calls him a nutbag 😅😅

(Basically, he's crazy)

This is catnip to me XDD The writer in me wants so badly to write characters like that!!

How he talks is so much fun! I love characters who I can read their lines and hear exactly how they were said in my head (Reba is the same here! :D )

He's terrible... but he's also not that bad?? Like, yeah he's a greedy poacher and he may threaten people with a gun now and then 😅😅 But he's kinda nice to Max (Apart from threatening to shoot him 😅😅), going like 'yeah, even you son. in you go' or something when he was putting all the teenagers (?? Eighteen year olds I guess?? I dunno) in the house. And also he thinks Murdoch's crazy for having such little regard for human life. MAN- this means he has SOME!!! good in him!! I'm very excited about this XD Do you know how rare that is in Englund characters?? 😂 Even rarer in characters I like-

He looks right at a giant angry crocodile and says shit like 'Your babies are omelettes now'. I'm sorry, but that was hot-

HE'S CLEVER!

*Gets attacked by a falling snake skin* *Gets left behind by group* *... struggling to get up and brush himself off, absolutely startled and also deeply offended he was just left like that* "... I'M FINE! JUST FINE!" That was the funniest part in the Vs Anaconda XD

When he threatens to sue Murdock?? Like my man, you already tried to sue Nathan and it didn't work, haven't you learned?-

He's also so handsome ^^ <3

[murfpersonalblog]

TVL & VC Thoughts: Storyboarding

Because I have insomnia, I was up all night thinking about the rumors that Sam's contract was signed for 5 seasons. It makes me both nervous and hopeful, cuz Lestat features in way more than just 5 VC books. So if there's only 5 seasons locked in (hopefully NOT counting IWTV being split into 2, meaning Sam only has 3 other seasons), I'm wondering what these 3-ish other seasons would cover? 🤔 Hour-long episodes are enough to condense SOME of the books into 7/8-ep seasons, but not others.

TVL & QotD are ofc the bigguns, that COULD be condensed into one season, but SHOULD get their own individual ones, IMO.

ToTBT - urgh. I already said I hate this book. NGL I hope they condense this into 2 episodes MAX, as filler. Raglan was basically a monster-of-the-week. We do NOT need to be sitting here watching Lestat re-learn how to poop & pee. And ffs get rid of David, he literally just got in the way; let that dude retire! Having Ciprien come back'd be a cool feature/crossover, but I really don't need Lestat out here traumatizing more black people, thanks. 😒

MTD - yoooo.... What do you even DO with this? XD Like, I can't imagine having a whole frikkin season of Lestat's Inferno, but without Memnoch you lose ALL context behind Lestat's coma, his missing eyeball, Armand's suicide attempt, Louis' suicide attempt, and Lestat's course correction as a character. 😈 It was the fallout post-Memnoch that is so important to Lestat's story; but TBH I can honestly see the bulk of MTD itself condensed into 2 filler episodes tops.

Merrick - IMO this needs to be integrated into IWTV2 as part of Louis' storyline, not Lestat's. Even though it's here that he (officially) wakes from the coma (post-TVA--which IMO deserves its own spinoff season; we need more Assad if they don't cover Armand's backstory in IWTV2).

Blackwood Farm - NGL I want a whole dang season of BwF. 😅 IMO it's the craziest VC book, we NEED to see these people on screen. We'd get that Merrick Mayfair feature, too--but if they do her dirty here like AR, Imma be FURIOUS.

Blood Canticle - 💩 TRASH!!!!! 💩

Prince Lestat & RoA & BC: TBH I think these should all be merged into one season, as they all deal with Rhoshamandes. If QotD sets up Amel early, AND includes MEKARE, then PL should get right to the action. RoA was padded with a LOT of straight descriptions, which can EASILY be condensed on screen with visuals--that's the book that needed to be illustrated! RoA really doesn't need its own season; we just need to see Rhosh established as the Big Bad in PL & RoA, and get Amel's backstory. (I HOPE they'll keep the aliens in, but AR was obviously using bird-feathered/winged extraterrestrials as the secular answer to Christianity's angels, so I'm fine either way. I'll be sad if they cut them all out entirely and Amel's JUST a (human) ghost). As for BC, it wasn't a long book at all; it just had a lot of BIG, iconic moments. I DEMAND to see Chateau Era Loustat domestic tooth-rotting fluff on my effing screen, ISTG. 🙏 This is the series finale--it deserves to give Loustat E V E R Y T H I N G; from the lowest lows to the greatest highs. I need Prince Consort Louis bossed up. 🤴🏾 I need Lestat having a mental breakdown just like Louis did when Daniel was tearing him to shreds in Ep7. I need Armand screaming, crying, throwing up. I need the WEDDING(S). I need the BALLROOM. I will sue.

Naturally, I could be waaaaay off on all of this. U_U

[bronwyns-art-locker]

chatterbox

another short story i wrote for class. kinda gimmicky. i still like it.

--

[8:38pm] veronica_is_cool: Can we take a break? :3 I wanna hear about your day!

[8:38pm] xlincoln_logx: sure! u first tho

I’ve been talking to this Veronica roleplayer for about 3 months now. We met in one of those open role play rooms on ChatterBox. We ended up talking for hours that night, so we decided to make a private room for the two of us. It’s pretty rare to find anyone roleplaying Veronica these days in the Magical Arrival community, especially since they killed off her character last season. I guess one could say the same about my character, Lincoln. He’s not necessarily a protagonist, but he’s a recurring character that I really related to. That’s really the beauty of roleplaying online – even the most minor characters can be fleshed out by the fans in whatever way they want. 

[8:40pm] veronica_is_cool: My day was fine I guess! Today at school some kid tried snorting salt during lunch so that was weird xD!

[8:42pm] xlincoln_logx: thats insane lol i was out from school today tho so i just spent most of my day doom scrolling online as usual 

In the 3 months since we’ve started talking, I've gotten really close to her. When we stop role playing we just talk like regular friends. She told me her real name is Lili. She loves to draw, write short stories, and role play Magical Arrival online. What’s cool is she’s the same age as me – or at least I assume so. The thing about online friends is that you can never really discern if they’re telling you the truth about their lives. I took what I could get, though. She still listened to me and treated me like a real friend. Honestly, she was the closest friend I had at the time. But I had never seen her face. Or heard her voice. 

[9:16pm] veronica_is_cool: I’m just really shy, Max. Plus, how do I know that when we video call there’s not gonna be some older creep staring at me through me screen ;P (just joking). 

[9:18pm] xlincoln_logx: nah i get it, im rlly shy too 

[9:21pm] veronica_is_cool: I’m just worried you won’t like what you see.

More than anything, I just wanted her to say yes one day. I wondered what she was so afraid of.

[9:25pm] veronica_is_cool: Max, do you ever feel… out of place sometimes?

[9:25pm] xlincoln_logx: yea like all the time

[9:26pm] veronica_is_cool: How so?

[9:27pm] xlincoln_logx: i mean i dont rlly have friends at my school if thats what u mean. 

[9:28pm] veronica_is_cool: Not really. I mean like, do you ever feel out of place in your own body? Like you wish you could just be born different. 

[9:30pm] xlincoln_logx: i cant say that i have. why, is that how u feel??

[9:31pm] veronica_is_cool: Sometimes. 

I failed to come up with a reply. I had never heard her express something like this before. 

[9:45pm] veronica_is_cool: Sometimes I just look at myself in the mirror. I look at my body, my face, my hair… and I don’t feel like I’m me. I have, like, this picture of myself in my brain of how I want people to see me, but I know that will never happen. Really, the only person who sees me the way I want to be seen is you. 

[9:46pm] veronica_is_cool: I guess that’s why I’m so afraid to show you my face. I’m sorry. 

I didn’t know what to say or what to think. I didn’t know how to interpret what she was trying to say to me. Had she been lying to me about who she was this whole time? I felt a strange anxiety creeping up my body. It started at my legs, and made its home in my stomach. I couldn’t look at my screen for too long or else I’d just fixate on her words and get more afraid of what she was hiding from me. For the first time in a few hours I looked away from the bright glow of my laptop, and let my eyes wander around my room. 

I looked at my bed sheets, then my unfolded laundry. I got so deep into talking to her that I forgot to at least clean my room. Then I glanced at my mirror, and held my gaze longer than I expected. I examined my face; my expression. I looked tired, but not unlike myself. I guess I could stand to get a haircut, because it was getting a little long. And I needed to shave the rat-stache I had been growing since 8th grade. I definitely had an awkward appearance, but that never bothered me. I didn’t feel like a stranger in my own body – not at all like Lili said she felt. I looked away. 

My eyes then landed on the Magical Arrival poster hanging on the wall across from me. It featured all of the major characters standing at a bus stop together in poses that represented their personalities. On the far right stood Veronica. She was staring down at her shoes with her hands in her coat pockets, acting just as shy as she usually was on the show. As I studied her figure longer, I realized that I actually had a face I’d picture when I would think about Lili. 

[10:03pm] xlincoln_logx: we’re friends right lili? 

[10:04pm] veronica_is_cool: I’d like to think we are. 

[10:05pm] xlincoln_logx: you mean a lot to me. you’re someone i want to stay friends with for a while. 

[10:05pm] veronica_is_cool: I feel the same way. 

[10:06pm] xlincoln_logx: then would it be too much to ask that you dont keep anything from me? 

[10:08pm] veronica_is_cool: It’s not… 

[10:09pm] xlincoln_logx: do you trust me enough to show me what ur afraid of? 

[10:10pm] veronica_is_cool: It’s not that simple. I don’t think you get what I’m trying to say.

[10:11pm] xlincoln_logx: i think im starting to get it. can we just try and figure it out together? 

She didn’t reply for a while. I was afraid she had left entirely. I was afraid I scared her away. 

[10:45pm] veronica_is_cool: Okay. Let’s do it. 

That anxiety I felt earlier had found its way back into my body. Instead of being in my stomach, it found its way up to my chest and my arms. I was breathing manually now, and I felt a subtle tightness in my shoulders and on the sides of my ribs. My arms felt like they had 20 pound weights on them. I nervously opened up Skype and typed in her username. It felt like the ringing lasted forever, until she finally picked up and all I saw was her profile picture: a drawing of Veronica. “Sorry,” she mumbled, “I’m turning on my camera now.” Her voice sounded strained, like she wasn’t speaking in her natural register. She finally turned on her camera. 

It was my friend. For the first time since I met her, I finally saw my friend’s face. She had pale skin, and some acne on her cheeks. Her wide lips were contorted into a nervous smile as we stared at each other, just examining each other’s appearance. Her hair was long and slightly unkempt. It reached the tops of her shoulders, and was a deep brown color.  Her blue eyes hid behind thick, rectangular glasses and in the reflection of them I could see myself on her screen. I was surprised to see that she was wearing winehouse style eyeliner, and it was neatly done.  Draped over her body was an oversized “Deftones'' t-shirt; her favorite band. She looked undeniably nervous. Her eyes were shooting around the room, trying hard not to look at herself on her own screen. The more I looked at her the more I thought about our conversation. I thought more about why she was afraid to show herself to me. I thought about how much courage it must have taken to do this video call at all. I thought about the trust she put into me to reveal this side of herself. I needed to break the silence. “You know, you look just like her, right?” I said.

“Who?”

“Veronica.”

[dzpenumbra]

11/19/22

Today was a mixed bag. I woke up super early. I put that post up on here, YouTube was giving me really fucked up ads today. It really put me in a shit mood. I was seriously just looking up the history and tradition of Zen Gardens so I could get some inspiration for one I am planning on building in Minecraft. Let's get into this because it's pretty cool, then I really gotta go to bed because I'm still trying to fix my sleep schedule and it's already 2... which is huge improvement but... I'm really tired and the stage is set perfectly to fix my sleep right now.

So I watched a video on YouTube from this woman who did some videos about PTSD stuff that were really helpful to me. It had diaphragmic breathing and grounding stuff, and then focused on really building a mental safe place. A place where I know for a fact what safety and security feels like, so I can go there in my mind when I'm getting ready for sleep. It's an idea I've been brewing for a while, but I've really been struggling to get a mental image. See, I can be a bit... third eye blind? Nope, looked that up and that's definitely not it, but now I know what that means. Ugh... XD I meant I can't see things in my mind's eye sometimes. Very different! Which might be why I was really attracted to art. So in this safe place exercise, I was really struggling to get a detailed mental image of the location - a fictional Zen garden in my head that I never got to build. Either IRL, in a drawing or... in Minecraft. And I got inspired.

I figured I can actually make the place in Minecraft, in Chisels and Bits or something. Little Tiles, I guess, is a bit of a better mod overall, I've just not spent time with it yet. Welp... that's why I was googling Zen gardens this morning. Because I wanted to build that Zen garden. To make an actual model that I can visit whenever I want as reference material for my inner safe place.

I went skating, it was nice. I loosened my trucks and it wasn't too much of an adjustment. I was worried about pivots or manuals being weird, but they were fine. It was super cold but it was good. Hit the grocery store, settled in and went to study tarot for a bit. I got a TON out of my reading today, but I don't wanna get into it really. It's a lot of the stuff I've been talking about with social anxiety and bad relationships and stuff, and it just made perfect sense and helped me get a bit of clarity. Then therapy right after, which was great. I even have an audiobook to listen to when I do work now. Great to talk to someone on my level, very validating and reassuring. Then I made dinner for Max and I and went in and tried out Minecraft.

I tried a "Feed the Beast" builders pack or something. I don't know. There's a lot of mods in it. I mean a lot. So it'll keep me busy, sure. But there are just like... vanilla graphics. No shaders or anything. Which kinda brings the ambience down unfortunately. Maybe I can troubleshoot that tomorrow. I cruised and tried to find a place to settle in. I found a fir forest that was calling me. I set up camp, got iron for a bucket and scoped an area at the base of the hill that looked nice, had a nice view of the nearby river too. My only qualm was... I didn't want to mess up the scenery at all. I wanted this garden to be like... amplified organic. Like everything is just an embellished version of what organically formed. So I filled in the area at the base of the trees with water, then outlined the tree trunks with dirt and just... called it for the night. I was kicking my own ass about music.

I haven't been able to make myself make music. It's really frustrating me. I just... don't have a process anymore, I don't know where to start. So today I just plugged in a simple drum beat and tried to play drums along with it, and I just couldn't get in the pocket. It was really frustrating. I played along to a MrSuicideSheep mix to just... clear my pallet and get back into the groove, and finally got there. I was just off today. And music just didn't happen.

So... skating was good. Tarot was very good, 3 new card definitions in my study. Minecraft was started, kinda... but halted abruptly. Music was a bust. I kinda wish I had stayed with Minecraft and not considered it "wasting time I could be spending on creative things". Ugh. I just put a bad tone on the end of the day, overshadowed my accomplishments.

But now I have a vague idea of what the terrain looks like in my garden. Very vague but more than nothing. I'm going to try to use it in making a mental image safe place right now when I go to bed. I'm pretty excited for it. It's this weird idea of like... I can imagine changes I want to make to the place before I go to bed, then I can go there in my dreams maybe, then I can go and actually make changes in Minecraft the next day, too. It's a pretty weird art piece concept, but I like it a lot!

[twilightknight17]

This time on P3R: ...it’s October 7th.

I finally got my aggressive dialogue option.

Before we start, I don’t know all of who’s reading these posts, obviously. (I’m guessing at least one person specifically though. ^_^) I can guess that most of you know P3 already. So you know what’s here, and you can probably tell that I’ve been talking around or not emphasizing some of the worst bits of this. Especially around Chidori.

That’s been for the benefit of people who may not know P3, or at the very least, know it mostly from my enthusiasm for Ryoji and/or reading just the opening of Hours. (I’m actually kind of entertained by the idea that there’s people who don’t know P3, who want to read my posts just to basically hear me tell them a story.)

But this next part has something that I cannot downplay. So, I will warn you when I get to it in this post, but we’re going to be confronting major topics of suicide. It does not happen, but it’s going to be talked about. So please mind yourselves if you’re reading along.

Anyway.

To start off with a lighter topic, I have saved all of the dorks who wandered into Tartarus, and have managed to get a solid chunk of money while doing so. After I sell all my bits and bobs, I should have at least 200K, which should keep me going for a while.

Fuuka also warned everyone not to drink the waterfalls in Tziah, which made me laugh for inside-joke reasons.

I find it funny and also kind of brilliant that whatever costume you're wearing is reflected in the menus. That’s a really nice detail.

(They could make however many variations of the menu, but not Hamu--) *shot*

Anyway, things are normal. We head back from Tartarus, sleep, head to school, clean up from the culture festival we didn’t have… Blech. I’m also off to the shops to upgrade my stuff with my new riches, so that means a chance to chat with the antique shop lady.

Seriously, who are you?? Are you a former Kirijo scientist?

Also, it’s good to see that my fave Escapade patron has recovered!

School is as nonsense as ever, as my math teacher is absent, so here’s Mr. Edogawa to ask more things about magic.

...are you SERIOUS. Max rank on BOTH and my academics STILL won’t level up???? My friend made a joke that Pharos is stealing my braincells, but honestly??? Maybe. If he’s taking half my braincells to recover his memories, maybe that’s why I never seem to get any smarter. X’D

I’m still working on social links and hangouts. Ken needs to go visit Sojiro in the future. He seems to have a serious appreciation for coffee. I’m sure Goro would take him to Leblanc. ^_^

Meanwhile, apparently you must be level 7 friends to be asked to join a cult.

I’m not giving you 132000 yen. I JUST stopped being broke. My soul will be fine.

At least Bebe is a lovely person to be around.

We also hang out with Shinji again, because apparently even with max courage, we still can’t finish the burger challenge. So I guess I have to max everything? Ugh. More fun to spend time learning to cook.

...hm. Oh dear. XD

It’s fine. The tempura turned out good, and Shinji tells me about how he learned to cook while working part-time at a restaurant. I’m kind of impressed how close I was on my Shinji characterization in Hours with just movie context.

I love him, and it’s killing me that I can’t social link enough to save him no matter what.

Time for school again, and Mr. Ono has finally reached the Sengoku Era. It’s time to talk about the era of the samurai. It gives me the option to sleep in class, but one, I need more academic points, and I can’t imagine sleeping through this guy’s first lecture on his favorite topic ever.

……..are you KIDDING ME ASDFKJDJGS:LDF

No, no, no. We’re not acknowledging this. We’re moving on. We’re still not smart enough to link with Mitsuru, but we can talk to Yukari now that we’re charismatic! Apparently she’s been waiting this long to apologize for some of the stuff she said on Yakushima. Which, it’s fine. We were all freaking out that night.

...she says “just kidding” after, but like… no she’s not. X’D

So one thing I’ve been missing is that apparently the console in the command room has been freaking out every month or so and recording video. I saw the first two of them because I was prompted to go look, but I haven’t looked since, and now there’s a bunch. One of each member of SEES, I think.

For a sec, I thought we were going to catch Pharos on camera, but no. Just Aigis sneaking into my room. XD I will say, though, that’s the night we supposedly went to Tartarus for Q. So now I’m wondering if it was a shared dream, and we were in meta-space only mentally.

That’s not out of the realm of possibility.

We’re never going to get answers, though, because Atlus gonna Atlus.

It’s definitely creepy that the dorm has cameras in everyone’s rooms. Mitsuru’s tape has her walking around in a towel. Like… Ikutsuki. Seriously. Dude.

I’ve also found my last social link that isn’t Mitsuru! It’s the Tower, a monk who hangs out in Escapade, believes that love and true friendship don’t exist, and is overall unpleasant to be around as he drinks and smokes.

No it’s not! I swear, all of my most unpleasant social links are the ones that are around when everyone else is busy. It’s like they know I don’t want to do them unless there’s no one else available. X’D

I sigh and carry on, because it’s time for the full moon! We’re off to Iwatodai Station to deal with the next two Arcana Shadows, Strength and Fortune. Shinji isn’t with us because he said he’d be late, and Ken isn’t with us because… he wasn’t in his room, and Junpei couldn’t find him. Which seems like something to be worried about, but we gotta deal with the shadows first.

Strength is very pretty, but it’s also shielding Fortune so that Fortune can keep doing its roulette wheel bullshit and throwing buffs and damage all over the place.

I got hit early on by “300 damage to everyone” and lost everyone but Minato, but I was able to recover, and it spent a lot of turns just causing everyone to have upgraded magic damage. Which I think benefited me more than them, because Minato was immune to wind, Yukari resists wind, and everyone else was trucking along admirably.

Strength was more of the tank, so once she went down, Fortune wasn’t too bad, despite another 300-damage spin. Shinji and Ken never showed up, though.

One, for fuck’s sake, at least wait until we’re safely home, Ikutsuki.

Two, the CHILD we are responsible for is MISSING. SIR.

Akihiko realizes it’s October 4th and runs off, and Mitsuru herds the rest of us back to the dorm.

And now.

This is your warning. The next part will discuss suicidal ideation and murder, so if you’d like to skip that, head to the next set of giant bold words and avert your eyes otherwise.

Right, okay. So now that we’re all on the same page, here we go.

Ken and Shinji are at Port Island Station, across the monorail.

Ken has called him here because he recognized Shinji as the reason that his mother is dead. He’s completely devoted his life to making sure that the person who killed her faces justice. And he’s here to take justice into his own hands.

The suffering that this kid has gone through… How much pain, for an eleven-year-old to consider killing himself? But he wants Shinji to die.

Cut to the rest of us, minus Akihiko, back at the dorm. It has finally dawned on Mitsuru what the significance of the date is, and she orders Fuuka to look for all three of them, urgently. Junpei asks what’s so important about today’s date, and Mitsuru reveals that it’s the day Ken’s mom died, two years ago. And that Shinjiro is the reason she’s dead.

They were hunting a rogue shadow in the city, and failed to account for civilians.

...why were Ken and his mom awake during the Dark Hour? Are we just not gonna mention that?

Either way, it was an accident, not a murder, but Ken thinks it was on purpose. And that’s horrible.

The rest of SEES heads for the station when Fuuka finds them, and we cut back to Ken and Shinji.

Shinji isn’t going to fight.

He tells Ken that the only reason not to do this is because taking a life will end up making Ken just like him. He tells Ken that what he did tore him up so badly that he left SEES and started taking suppressants. Ken, angry as hell, just thinks he’s begging for his life, but… He’s not. He doesn’t care about himself. He’s just worried about Ken.

Takaya shows up, because got forbid he not make things worse. He thinks Ken should go for it, because goading a child to commit murder is a great thing!

“Is it not permissible to kill those who are themselves killers?” NO. That just means you’re making more killers to replace them. The cycle of revenge is pointless. Not that Takaya cares, because he’s just going to kill Ken afterwards. He wants to get rid of us, since we keep destroying the shadows, but he calls it “salvation”.

Dude really has no qualms about killing a child.

Shinjiro, realizing that, gets between Ken and Takaya, and Takaya points out that Shinji is dying anyway from the suppressants. This upsets Ken.

The point is that you shouldn’t have been living solely for revenge. :/

Takaya points out that it shouldn’t matter whether he kills Ken or not.

So this kid has been living for two years just for the purpose of killing his mom’s killer and then himself. No wonder he doesn’t want to enjoy food or spend time with us in the dorm. No wonder he asked Minato to take care of Hamburger. He literally wasn’t planning to come back. He was just going to go off and die, and we wouldn’t have found either of them until it was too late.

We’re still almost too late.

But Shinji is not down for child murder and gets a fully-voiced “fuck”, because this situation deserves it.

And Takaya shoots him.

He asks, then, who our group’s navi is. Because we have to have someone as powerful or more powerful than Chidori, since we keep getting to the full moon shadows before Strega. And it’s clear that he wants to know so he can murder them, too. Shinji won’t answer, and Ken speaks up to claim that it’s him. That his navi abilities were the only reason they let a kid join them in the first place. Which isn’t a bad lie, but Ken…!

...he doesn't even try to get away from Takaya. Just shuts his eyes.

The gun goes off, but Shinji has forced himself up, and gets in the way again. He might have made it, but not with a second gunshot at point-blank range. And THAT’S when SEES arrives, and Takaya makes himself scarce. Because he’s too much of a coward to face us all at once. What, unwilling to try to gun down the whole group, you fucking bastard?

(Tumblr crunched the quality as punishment for me trying to cram too many screenshots in the post, so you might have to open the image in a new tab. X''''D)

Everything fades to black as Ken screams.

.

.

.

.

.

If you were skipping this section, you’re clear now.

It has been maybe seven hours since Shinjiro died, and we get a classic line that basically sums up how not-okay everyone in this game is.

Somehow, the school already knows. We have an assembly where the principal talks about the horrible sense of loss everyone feels because of this terrible tragedy. But the upperclassmen in the rows in front of us won’t stop muttering about how they didn’t even know an Aragaki was in their class, and how he was probably a delinquent, and how they heard he was shot in a senseless back-alley fight. They turn around to ask if we’d heard of him, but then decide nah, we were only second-years, of course we wouldn’t.

And FINALLY I get to say something rude.

Junpei follows to back me up immediately after, and we get scolded by the teacher. It’s not fair, but… There’s nothing we can do.

No one has seen Akihiko all day, but he shows up to the gym after everyone is gone to talk to Shinji. He… blames himself for this. He says he thought that if he was strong enough, he could protect everyone, the way he couldn’t protect his sister. But now Shinji is gone too.

He promises that from now on, he’s not just going to fight for the sake of getting stronger, and his persona evolves from Polydeuces to Caesar.

It makes sense, in a sad way, that he can’t be Pollux anymore when his brother Castor is gone.

Ow.

Mitsuru calls a meeting, because we have to decide what to do with Ken. But when she sends Aigis to fetch Ken from his room (on the second floor), he’s climbed out the window and is gone.

P3 really is just validating my Hours choices years later, because I had Mitsuru commenting about how they needed to put Goro on the third floor so he wouldn’t climb out a window. I genuinely didn’t realize that she had prior experience informing her decision. XDDDD

Anyway, Fuuka wants to go look for Ken, and Akihiko says we need to give him time. Personally, I’m with Fuuka, because I don’t think we should be letting a kid who is as… uh… emotionally unstable as Ken be on his own. Who knows what he’ll do in the state he’s in?

I can’t go hunting, though, and most of my social links are unavailable due to midterms in a week, so…

You know, I know the social links aren’t tied to main story progression, but dealing with this guy immediately after what happened just makes me angry. Fuck off, dude. Your cult is not saving anyone. Not you, not me, not my senpai who would have been INCREDIBLE to have as a brother. And you’re only doing this because you have to recruit someone for your bullshit.

After Suemitsu leaves, the guy whose son he scammed comes back, pointing him out to a thug that he apparently wants to beat him up. And honestly, if my option is to stop him from getting beaten up or not, I genuinely can’t say I will. I know he’s just an idiot teenager who got sucked into a cult, but I don’t like him.

There’s quite a few of my social links that are like “why am I spending time with this person still?” At least in P5 when people were tricky to link with, I still wanted to make an effort for the perks. (Not that there were any confidants in P5 I genuinely didn’t like. Not even Mishima.) But spending time with Tanaka, or Suemitsu, or Mutatsu? Why? Why keep coming back? :/

Akihiko finds Ken at Port Island Station, processing. Ken points out that his mom’s death was reported as a car accident, and no one ever knew the truth. And no one will know the truth about Shinjiro either.

Akihiko tells him that it’s his choice, but that if he wants to keep fighting, SEES will be there for him. And Ken decides that he’s going to keep going. His persona evolves from Nemesis to Kala-nemi, and he returns to the dorm, much to everyone’s relief.

The midnight hour strikes, and Pharos comes back to chat.

“You look a little tired.” No shit, honey. You’re waking me up at midnight.

We’ve been over this, it’s because you’re stealing my braincells.

We do get to tell him that we lost a friend. He says that he wouldn’t have understood that before, but he gets it now, because he has a friend. Grief and mourning in the face of death makes more sense now that he can fear losing someone.

Thanks, Pharos. You’re important to me, too. It’ll be okay. Just... stay with me. I can’t lose anyone else right now.

[seelestia]

IT DID SOBSOB literally it hates me because i wrote 90% of it and realized a typo, so i pressed ctrl + z and THE WHOLE FIC JUST DISAPPEARED. no trace whatsoever. redo does nothing. i was so devastated ;;;;;

i tried milo with hot milk and never went back ever since. it's super rich and indulgent and probably has more calories than one proper meal but man. it's so good....

i shall treasure his littol meteor 𒆙𒆙𒆙

it was great!!! act 3 was like watching an anime instead of playing the game bc of the number of cutscenes lol and act 4 really built it up for act 5. also loads of al haitham content so i am happy hehehe i like cyno, candace, and dehya a lot more after going through all that!!

lol you were starved and now you're fulfilled huh... i will let you know once i get to finish act 5 for sure!! and yes. that physics book scene was so slkdjflsjdf he's such a jerk. i love him. XD

yep that's an approach that i wouldn't have minded! just.. idk, add on another currency in-game and let us enjoy the lore-heavy event content in peace hyv >:|

pls it's the same for everyone else like i see people who can write AND draw at the same time and i am just. in awe. how are people so talented lskdjflksjdf

"you're the first person that came up when someone asks me for writer reccs"

anything that relates to zhongli will make me malfunction i love him too much and he's too blinding for words sdjflsjdfljsd your husband really needs to watch his sugar intake and use a darn tumblr ayato come on think of the turtles /j

dw he's fine i gave him lots of kisses we're good 👌🏻 i think our family is just attracted to e/intjs lmao-

I HAVE MISSED WRITING THESE MINI LETTERS INTO YOUR ASKBOX AAAA <3

now, isn't that just one way to dampen a writer's spirits <//3 if not writer's block, then it's definitely the 'your progress has not been saved' or when it just disappears 😭😮‍💨

HELP milo with hot milk is the embodiment of "too good, must resist" temptation. i think it's good to have for breakfast with some sandwiches?? or would that be too much calories hehhejfke speaking of, i drank some latte today and i finally remembered my long time vendetta with caffeine. i CANNOT drink it for some reason, the milk in the latte was the only thing persuading me to finish the drink 😭 coffee people, is this how y'all survive (/j)

act 3 was the one where we met dottore and first went to the desert, iirc?? i still remember when cyno swooped in to fight alhaitham as soon as we arrived at aaru village. i was just watching the scene like "what happened to hi? hello?" but it's still super cool LOLLL. it also reminds me of when cyno told us not to trust alhaitham and my suspicion on him grew a bit after that... but after playing thru act 5, all i can say that is you'll get to see alhaitham go "feral" ;D

my quest screen is so empty rn 😭 i even maxed the geoculus and anemoculus out of boredom, so i'm planning on maxing the electroculus soon (pray for me, inazuma is large large). the only thing i have left rn is the hangout quests! but i might start farming artifacts for all my five-stars and not just my main team too. the five-stars i have built who have their own artifacts are: heizou, kazuha, eula, ayaka, klee, zhongli, keqing, tighnari, and kokomi... which leaves about 6 other five-stars unbuilt. wish me luck <//3 (btw, i got so excited for ayato that i already have his build ready on xingqiu LOLLL anything for him! i think it has a 50/208 crit ratio?? fjwjkskd)

true, i also find it fascinating how everyone has their own writing styles like that is just so <3 to me. i'm writing my vaporize fic for your collab rn and i am super determined to finish it, hhhhhh. but hopefully, it'll come out well because this is gonna be the first time i write like a somewhat full-fledged fic 😭

too blinding, you say?? i agree, this is also me when ayato jfjejdjkjd. being in love makes them shine brighter in your eyes and all of a sudden, you need sunglasses (/j) AND THE POOR TURTLES. ayato, my dear, think abt those poor turtles in the sea making puppy eyes at you. i'm joining the turtles because i also happen to love resorting to puppy eyes, hehe. yeah, ayato is definitely pinching my cheek for this. (/lh)

[drkineildwicks]

Writing Snippets--10/3/2022

Again, it’s for yesterday, again, I need to work on getting the writing juice coming before 11 PM, but I got eight pages yesterday so win. \.o./

If you’ve been following me on FFN then you’re aware of that one behemoth fic I’ve been working on known as The Magicians’ Realm--been working on the fic since 2008 and publishing it since 2013, so it’s been going a while and some of the stuff I’ve written ahead needs rewrites now so it’s been a journey.

In other news, one of the unexpected benefits of having such a crossover involves having guys like Maxwell and Skulduggery Pleasant interacting. XD

Maxwell noticed Detective Pleasant’s hands tighten on the wheel, gestured at him.  “Yeah I know hold on—you don’t sound sure, pal.  Maybe you want to think about sounding sure first.”

“Excuse me for being on the back foot, pal,” the guy shot back.  “Maybe if you didn’t drop this on us this morning, we’d—”

“Dan, cool it,” another G-Man ordered before shifting his attention to Maxwell.  “No one gets through, no exceptions.”

“Please, I’m a politician,” Maxwell said, gesturing a little.  “Rules don’t apply to me.”

“Administrator Carter,” Detective Pleasant noised, tone enough to get him to glance over and take note of the G-Man tapping on his window.  Ah.

“All right, fine—turn us around, get me to a café with decent coffee,” Maxwell ordered, propping his head up.

“Sir, could you identify your driver?” the drivers-side G-Man asked.

“Again, I’m a politician—I don’t know peons.  You were letting us go now before we start having serious discussions about your employment.”

The G-Men looked sour as Detective Pleasant backed up, a sentiment Maxwell could echo, especially when one ducked into his car and looked like he was getting on the horn with someone.

“So this is a problem,” Maxwell observed.  “Any ideas? And no, still can’t with the transporting.”

“Roll your window up,” Detective Pleasant ordered.

“Okay,” Maxwell said, doing so.  “Why, what are we doing?”

“Also you might want to brace yourself.”

“Why, what are we doing?”

“And try to stay below the dash, the windows aren’t bulletproof.”

“Why, what are we doing!?”

Which was when Detective Pleasant hit the gas.

Any iteration of Max has to be my favorite to write for the snark and sass is just A+.

Also planning on putting this fic on AO3 (for its 10th anniversary *sob*), mostly for ease of access and mostly because of the increasing rumors of FFN circling the drain.  I would say that it’d be just a simple repost, but seeing as how Six Feet Under keeps getting little edits I’m going to say that some of those early chapters are going to get some serious attention when we finally get to that point.