#but it felt necessary

[tim-lucy]

3.09 || 6.06

[black-butler-meta]

Expanding on my last post about BOC…

Recently there was a post that was obviously related to what I recently wrote regarding the PTSD scene in Book of Circus. That person chose to make their own (not so) vague post rather than communicating directly via the ask box or a reblog, so I’m not going to reblog it because I’m guessing they don’t want to interact with me (totally fine, btw).

But I do want to make a new post to clarify what I apparently did not communicate correctly before, in case others are curious for a response.

First and foremost, I actually DO understand PTSD. I have a history of CSA and child abuse that persisted across multiple years, and it most definitely is an important part of who I am, and something I am still working through. So please refrain from making accusations about a stranger online just because you’re upset.

Now, about the post….

When I was describing the discomfort I felt between Sebastian and Ciel during the PTSD scene, I was not doing so as a generalization of “this is how their dynamic always is” and “their relationship can only be toxic/bad,” etc. I was only referring to that scene specifically. The discomfort I spoke of was referring to the viewer (which is subjective - I never said it wasn’t), not to the characters’ relationship.

It felt uncomfortable because of the contrast between Sebastian’s manipulative, predatory nature (which was very soothing and calming) and Ciel’s fragile mental state, emphasized by his regression in response to trauma. It’s about finding (as the viewer) Sebastian’s sensual actions arousing contrasted with Ciel’s obvious suffering that makes the scene have an underlying layer of unease. The dichotomy of arousal and discomfort would be there as well if Ciel were an adult, because the manipulation is the same. BUT, the discomfort is worsened because in this moment, Ciel’s behavior is more childlike than the way he usually is. It’s not to make Sebastian out as a pedophile/groomer, but to show Ciel at his most weakest, and Sebastian is taking that opportunity to push him over the edge into violence. Additionally, Ciel’s childness is also there to remind us that he’s not out of his trauma yet; that, in many ways, it’s still ongoing for him.

Of course not everyone has that reaction to the scene… maybe others find it protective, which I can also see those undertones, especially when Sebastian carries Ciel while fulfilling his orders, instead of simply leaving him on the floor by himself. Maybe there are those that find it romantic, a white night coming to save. I personally don’t, but if you do, then good for you! We can agree to disagree and leave it at that. I’m not here to cast moral judgment on others over fictional characters, and I’m not here to speak for everyone. These analyses are simply my own and so it’s about how the message comes across to me.

I had never said that Ciel didn’t find comfort in Sebastian. In fact, it’s the very reason that he finds comfort in him that Sebastian’s tender approach worked, and got Ciel to finally open his eyes and give him the orders that he wanted. But I did find the lip touch to be something that felt out of place, more the indulgence of a hungry demon inspecting his future meal rather than something done to console, and Ciel’s lack of reaction to it demonstrated how far gone he was in his panic attack. Yes, Ciel allows Sebastian to dress him, bathe him, carry him, etc.; but he also at times expresses boundaries either through body language (frowning, pulling back slightly) or verbal protest (e.g., when Sebastian tried to spoon feed him). Just because Ciel lets him care for him in some ways, doesn’t mean he’d give Sebastian a free pass to touch him in other, more intimate ways outside of his butler duties. That was why that moment felt unnerving.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that their relationship is largely positive. I wouldn’t call it entirely negative, either. In actuality, I would describe it as complex. Sebastian, first and foremost, is a demon and his purpose is to cultivate Ciel’s soul. Yana herself has described him as elite trash, hyper-narcissistic, and that he enjoys seeing Ciel struggle. And it’s because of this characterization that it’s so interesting to see Sebastian slowly evolve into someone who does care. There are absolutely clues of him learning to “care” in his own weird way. He’s been shown to be protective, and will do kindnesses that he doesn’t have to do, for Ciel and others, and worry when Ciel is in danger that seems to go beyond losing his meal. These glimpses contrasted with scenes where his demon side really comes through is what makes him such an interesting character to begin with.

Yes, in a strange way Sebastian is helping Ciel heal, but it’s in a warped sort of way, like a broken bone that never gets set properly and heals wrong. Sebastian’s goal isn’t to truly heal Ciel; it’s to help him complete his vengeance and ripen his damaged soul in preparation for eating. And yes, he’s likely going to grow attached to it by the end of it, which will make the act that much more personal and meaningful if/when it does happen.

The entire thing is complicated, dark, beautiful, and yes, in some ways toxic. The discomfort is there (for the viewer - or at least some of us), and that’s okay. It’s literally a part of dark fantasy, and, if you want to go there, dark romance. It’s the moral ambiguity of decisions and motivations, that blurring of lines between good and evil, and finding comfort in darkness and violence. If that discomfort wasn’t there, then the story wouldn’t be what it is. It wouldn’t be Black Butler at all.

[womaninwinter]

Lockwood rosary fic update -jazz hands-

[saintelia]

quickly, before work, the saint would like to give zoms blessing and wish luck to any & all genshin players! good luck with fontaine! hy is very excited :)

[draconym]

My wonderful spouse, who I love very much, set a phone alarm to remind him to send drunk texts to his friends this evening, and ensured that he would be appropriately drunk (0.086%, currently) by consulting a blood alcohol calculator that factored in change over time. He was worried that this level of planning was against the spirit of Drunk Texts, but I assured him it was not.

[stjohnstarling]

Bad things are on the horizon regarding pornography laws in the US, which will affect every part of the internet that you and I use, and we need to be ready. We should go forward assuming that any art which is sufficiently queer and subversive may be classified as pornography.

Continue to create, share, and support queer and subversive art. Resist all pressure to voluntarily self-censor. Do not obey in advance.

[theineffableoystercatcher]

The archivist, turning up in the middle of Sam and Celia's relationship breakdown:

[batfam-belfry]

HE CREATED A ROUTINE THAT WOULD HAVE SAVED HIS PARENTS' LIVES IM DONE

[mndvx]

[benevolenterrancy]

("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)

[elimore-art]

more soft boys 💌

[lilislegacy]

wrath of the triple goddess did something strange to me as a percabeth shipper

because listen, everyone here knows im a huge percabeth stan. i genuinely believe they’re an incredible pairing, the perfect example of an epic love story. but for the first time ever, while reading wottg, i found myself wanting them to have a fight. of course every couple fights, and percy and annabeth would obviously have them off screen, but i’ve never actually thought we, as the readers, needed to see one. we have seen them get mad and frustrated with each other before, but this time, i wanted a real confrontation where they both stand their ground. honestly, with how extremely off they felt during the book, i thought rick was purposefully dropping those lines—about annabeth bossing him around, percy feeling like she doesn’t have faith in his abilities, percy messing around with hecate’s torches and annabeth scolding him, etc.—in order to build them up to a huge fight or even a breakup. i was expecting percy to get angry that annabeth didn’t trust him to handle issues on his own or believe in his abilities, and for annabeth to push back, saying that he doesn’t think plans through or take situations seriously enough, so the burden is always on her. i spent the whole book waiting for it. it really felt like it was building and building, and the more i read, the more i wanted it to happen. and then… we got this brief conversation where annabeth goes, “wait, you’re smart?” and they have a little moment, and then that was it. they lived happily ever after. it felt incredibly anti-climactic. it felt weak. lazy, even.

i, a huge percabeth fan, was actually upset that they didn’t have a huge blowout fight. and that’s never something i thought i would say.

[puccafangirl]

Don't mind me, just pointing out that Blue Sky's first and last films also included a tragic backstory flashback involving the main character told through little to no dialog and emotional breathtaking music. No biggie. :T

[egophiliac]

Can we see the top a Jamil’s hat? Where does it stop?

Jamil's hat has breached containment, this is not a drill, everybody run

[self-aware-sawtrap]

saw ii (2005)//abraham & isaac before the sacrifice (jan victors, 1642)

:(

[ahappyphjl]

keep believing in yourself, honeybun