#but it feels like that rn

[zebracorn-chan]

FNaF Collab finally announcement:

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[kitsu-katsu]

A group of queers of all types is a pride

A group of aces is a deck

A group of aros is a quiver

A group of trans women is a code-camp

A group of enbies is a byte

A group of bi people is a tandem

A group of pan people is a panic

Thank you for coming to my wilderness documentary

[aphel1on]

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

[pangur-and-grim]

his forehead is wrinkly from worrying too much

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[taffybuns]

and i love you, love you, love you, love you

[ruushes]

companions re-classed part 3 - shadowheart 🌌🌚🌝

*shadowdancer isn't a 5e rogue subclass, it's a 3.5e rogue-based prestige class, but it suits her so well and when i played 3.5e as a kid i thought it was the coolest thing ever lol so i wanted to use it

karlach 🔥 wyll ⚔️

[vampirejuno]

Do you ever become mutuals with someone you share an intense interest with and it becomes this limbo of "I want to be your friend SO fucking bad but I'll eat a shoe before dm-ing first"

[jade-len]

yeah twink shen yuan this hunky binghe that, in all honesty the image of some scruffy awkwardly tall lanky mid 20's nerd with a half shaven tired face standing next to a seemingly perfect almost androgynous gorgeous beauty of a man is 5x more hilarious, bc imagine witnessing an absolute supermodel influencer (who's known to be a ladykiller) crying and clinging to some guy who looks like he's on the verge of having a midlife crisis at only 24 tiredly patting said supermodel's head and in a deep dead pan voice saying, "no dumpling, you can't murder that girl just because she said my xianxia themed legos were stupid." like you can't tell me that the stark contrast and impact would be nearly the same if it were your typical twink sy and hunk binghe.

[soranker]

my girlfriend

[hyunpic]

[bacchuschucklefuck]

truly this one's just for me. I can do what I want foreverrr

[identitty-dickruption]

one of the worst things in the world is that feeling unloveable can (and will) make you act in ways that reinforces itself. I feel unloveable so I don’t respond to messages so people reach out less so I feel unloveable. one of the hardest things in the world is fighting back the brain demons long enough to break the cycle

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

so how about that update, huh