#but it doesnt take place in the universe of star wars

[generic-lab-assistant]

Lord help me I’m rereading this entire book series that I haven’t read since my childhood and was a fundamental part of keeping me happy in middle school

[moth-bells]

Hi so, I dont know whenever I'm gonna be able to write or draw anything I like for my cryptids au, so I'm going to give you all literally all the lore and if I ever get to it, its already here.

It also doesnt always make perfect sense but I think that gives it charm and I'm not gonna run around in circles trying to make it perfect Gonna try and make this generally in timeline of events order

The earth is formed. From the dust of star dust rises two figures

They have no names and they were never born, forming from things they do not understand, yet know all too well

They are always at one another's side

They are both everything and nothing to one another

They witness eons together

Watching little specks shift and change and grow

They watch life and ease life along with hands that do what is needed without thought behind how it happens

They have purpose yet none here, witnesses

The duo watch as the earth fills with life only for it all to nearly vanish

They watch life persevere despite that

Those first peculiar humans, though without that name yet, come to be. So small and fragile, yet the two can see potential with these ones

They travel the globe, checking in on different places, seeing how the people so similar are slowly changing. They find it fascinating, though they feel this with other animals

One day, they realize many of these people that they've visited, perhaps assisted at times, and occasionally revisited, have places of worship

Neither of them understand, but they gather that these humans seem to look at them as higher than them. Gods.

Are they? They arent living in the same way as other beings. They cant die. They dont age and were never born.

If not gods, what are they then?

They dont know.

They do eventually move on, but one day, an unknown amount of years later, they return to one of these villages

The people, they do rejoice for their deities have graced them again

The duo decided to linger here longer than before.

One day, theres murmurs of malcontent floating

The two have witnessed battles, but stayed out of them.

They had never watched wars begin, the quiet wisps of smoke that would soon become flames

Now these two, unnatural as they are, were not infinitely strong.

Yes, they were stronger than many of these small humans, who were much smaller than them

But, if there were many humans against one of them, there was only so much that they could do

The humans, separated into factions, decided that one of the duo were a true god while the other was something evil and wrong.

Such is the way of humanity

The two realized they might have stayed too long now, deciding it was time to leave

It was too late for that now.

These two beings, nameless, named and renamed by many, but never calling each other by any.

Two who had been together since they were glints in an existence less universe

Were separated

Humans from either side took their 'rightful' god. Determined to use their worship against the other side.

The two beings were able to take some of them, desperately trying to not be taken away from the other.

They were not gods, though, not in the way these humans thought.

What they were was unknowable, but they still were not ever powerful.

With enough force, they were dragged away by the people who once looked at them equally

The one yellow as pollen was taken into a deep cavernous temple, locked into the darkness, with nothing within it. No escape. The entrance to this prison was sealed with a boulder.

He screamed for them to release him, but his words, something only his other understood, fell on deaf ears.

He pushed and clawed at the rock, but it was too heavy

These people believed their worship of isolation and fasting was pure and accepted by their god.

The other was left to a fate less horrendous, but equally lonely.

Tossed down into a pit, deep with only a manmade covering to hide it.

He as well demanded to be freed, but none of that was to come

These humans worshipped the sky at night that this being reminded them of, that being the only thing that he could see from his prison, though there was also a reminder in the daylight of who he was missing

The humans dropped food of animals down to him.

They werent able to starve to death, nor did they need to eat in the way animals and living things did, but it would give them extra energy if they needed it. No, they took in the rays of the star above them.

So, with the one in the pit, he received more that enough to keep him mobile.

The one in the cave, however...

centuries passed. Thousands and thousands of years

And they who have been here since before time itself, before knowing that of light and space and earth and death

They changed

Slowly, over time, of desperation and madness, and forces they themselves would never truly understand

They changed.

The cavern, where slowly less and less voices of prayer came, lost to a memory

Where eyes as blue as the sky became milky white

Where his mind grew blank with bleakness and its voice lost all form of words

Body became sharp and thin and twisted

Claws and teeth long and sharp.

In the pit, staring up at day and night as blood, and bodies of animal sacrifice fell upon him

One day, he accepted them, hoping for the strength needed to climb free

Eventually, it forgot why it was even down there.

And then the food stopped coming.

It had spent years and years, copying the shrieks and cries of a wounded animal, luring certain animals to the wide spaced grate above

It never felt hunger but it ached for the blood and rush that the meal provided

Its body became more wild, more dangerous

For some years its back ached until there was a weak flap of wings

Wings.

W i n g s.

Freedom.

The other was still trapped for sometime, having long forgotten what it was. What it was missing. Neither could remember but they could feel it

It would be sheer luck that some unfortunate children, merely teenagers, would come to that stone that their ancestors had made and laid there, not just a myth among them now.

That a god lay in the cave, dangerous and angry, locked away when it tried to turn against the people that worshiped it...or so they say the story goes

It would be their misfortune as they struggled to move the circular rock, that light from the evening setting sun would start to peek through inside

And something would come leaping out at them.

They fled from the monster, leaving one screaming to their fate to the creature so starved.

After, once its frenzy ended, it luckily took off into the forest surrounding it, away from the pain of the sun on its wide white eyes

It was fate, it would seem that they would find one another again

So changed by time and humanities unknowing cruelties

More animal than whatever they may have been to begin with

The winged one had found it one day, though not knowing fully why it was pulled toward it

The blind one, having changed even more in these years of freedom, lashed out at the new arrival

This, in turn, made the winged one defend itself.

They fought, clicking and screeching at one another until the teeth were dug into fur

Something clicked in this mindless mind that this thing was the same as itself.

They backed away from one another

Slowly, they reapproached...they chirred and cooed and inspected one another. One with sight the other with smell.

And they laid down together for the first time in forever

They wandered for some years, avoiding the creatures they felt compelled to hide from.

Until one day..

A small little voice spoke up at the blind one, not screaming or attacking with things that hurt

"Puppy..?"

[thedeviltohisangel]

FOR A FORTNIGHT THERE WE WERE:

Disneyland Headcanons

Felt particularly inspired on my trip today. A little something for my loves Evelyn and Callum until I’m home again, let me know your thoughts!

-As a child, Disney was such a mythical place. It’s where the rich kids go every school break. The land where her parents save every dime to try and take her and her siblings. A piece of the universe she craves to belong to.

-After early fame, Ev goes often. She takes pictures and brings all her friends and her family and walks around with a VIP guide and never smiles brighter than she does riding the coasters or the tea cups and laughing as if their is no weight on her shoulders. Some people stop for photos but it’s the right amount of wow I think I’m doing something special here and it’s not too much.

-After she skyrockets to fame in Star Wars (adding this to her filmography? Any thoughts?) it becomes much more commercialized. She’s trotted out in front of castles and waving and posing like plastic. Her ex husband is always there to hold her hand and kiss her. But he makes her ride the rides that scare her. Doesn’t let her get the Mickey shaped pizza she wants. Tells her she isn’t holding his hand the right way and people are watching. It’s as much performance for him and his career as it is for hers. It loses its magic and pixie dust and the fans are asking why Ev can only be seen at the theme parks for an event now. How she used to always be there eating popcorn and screaming on splash mountain and taking pictures with all the princesses. They all speculate that Hollywood has taken a fatal bite out of her. That she’s too busy with films and endorsements and magazine covers to be so fun loving anymore. They mourn the loss of the starlet they fell in love with and hope others will stop trying to scrape together the pieces of her now for just one more bite.

-BUT WITH CALLUM. God. He takes her because he knows it’s special and he knows it’s been awhile and he doesnt ask her why but he asks some of the people around her. They say it’s a him thing. An ‘her ex thought it was good for a photo op but ultimately very childish of her’ thing. And he buys her big and pink and princess-y ears and asks if she’ll keep them on because he thinks she looks gorgeous. And he takes photos for her in front of the castle (on his own with his phone and makes them his wallpaper) and he doesn’t flinch when she wants to ride on the carousel and laugh with him over how silly it is. Doesn’t flinch when she eats two Mickey ice cream bars for lunch and a pepperoni pizza for dinner. Buys the cheesy little photo of them on every rollercoaster because he had his arm around her protectively as she screams. It HEALS her to act like a child again and have someone WELCOME the youth that’s back in her cheeks. And he holds her while they watch the fireworks and he asks her if she’s happy and she smiles and says she feels like she got some magic back in her life. And Callum says that’s what he wished on a star for and she laughs and snuggles deeper and kisses his throat and tells him she loves him and will wish on a star for a forever just like this. And she goes home with a stuffed Marie from Aristocats and her phone died a long time ago and she didn’t even noticed and her feet hurt and she falls asleep in his shoulder in the car and she’s sunburnt and sweaty but clinging to him like a dream that she doesn’t want to fade away. And he just promises to make her wish come true. (Also he probably pulls the sword from the stone)

-BONUS: with their children. Ev always hires security when they go as a family and it hurts to take that bit of normalcy away from her kids but the media attention on her and Callum is too much for them to always be safe. He carries their daughters on his shoulders so they can see the parade and the shows. He knows the words to every song and sings his heart out with them. Crouches down to their level to point out Pooh and Mickey and Elsa. Ev is big on not having her kids ignore their gut so if they are afraid of the stranger in a costume then they don’t have to go and she won’t make them. They ride the carousel and dumbo over and over again because the baby of their family wants to. Callum confiscates the bubble wand when it nearly becomes a weapon. He takes so many photos of Ev holding their hands and walking around and when the littlest are in strollers sleeping but the oldest wants to ride thunder mountain one more time Cal tells Ev to go. Tells her it was her magic and pixie dust to share with their kids anyways. That the more memories she can make like this then the bad ones might drift so far away she won’t even think of them. The baby wakes up briefly to watch the show and ask her dad when he’s carrying her to the car and her cheek is smushed on his shoulder to ask if he’s a prince. And he tells her to ask mommy but she forgets and that night he and Ev are making out in bed and she calls him Prince Charming and laughs but shuts up real quick once he’s inside of her.

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

for the ask game: 3, 6, 16, 19

3 was answered!

6.) speaking of tv adaptations, why would yours get cancelled? (other than capitalism)

i dont get this question bc short of ending it early outta burnout every single reason i can think of a show getting cancelled is due to capitalist pressures or motivations

16.) imagine the entire story takes place but in the meantime the characters all also have tumblr. what kind of (terrible) tumblr posts would happen?

all of them are consummate posters. its the hs dna.

sicely: barely any blog presence. stays in their lane. fandoms include star wars, fallout, firefly, buffy, pokemon. likes all of antheas posts. has a sideblog for their comics and music.

anthea: flowers, recipes, web weaving. in troll-classic fashion posts wrong things to piss off her friends sometimes. keep em guessing. fandoms include sailor moon, cardcaptor sakura, ptutu, fullerverse

ari: blog is 50% journal for schoolwork/personal research, 50% x files and doctor who fanfic. other fandoms include psych, fullerverse, death note, pathologic

lucerne: runs a character askblog and also has a surrealist webcomic that went viral that people are obsessing over what it could possibly mean, if its ironic, or what the author is trying to convey and who they are. lucerne aint telling. Fandoms include OTGW, Gundam, Akira, indie and foreign horror films.

opal: im sorry to say that opal would believe misandry is real and would dedicate a not insignificant portion of his blog to it.Is physically incapable of not interacting with things that make him mad so hes constantly getting into dumb bullshit fights. Fandoms include Pokemon, Yu Gi Oh, JJBA, one punch man, steven universe.

jiro: anime gifsets and dedicated liveblogging. Sends anon hate on opals behalf to his enemies, getting him in the crossfire and then hes all like WHATD I DO TO WARRANT THIS as if its not abundantly obvious its him doing it. Fandoms include gundam, nge, akira, star wars, sailor moon, hxh

diane: actually uses her blog like a Web-log. posts long diary entries about her interests, essentially mini-essays, at regular intervals. fandoms include steven universe, gravity falls, otgw, hilda, she-ra, mlp.

fred: reblogs poetry and ceramics inspo mostly, posts his own ceramics progress shots and screenshots of his animal crossing towns. fandoms include gravity falls, otgw, mlp, sailor moon, pokemon

19.) describe the sillies you think about but that dont go in the story.

ari and anthea are in a silent prank war and have been for as long as anyone can remember. they have rules that they adhere to rigidly, despite never having discussed them with each other ever. if in each others presence they will deny such a war exists, but will talk about it privately. opal and sicely are making a webcomic on a rudimentary geocities page, it has over 100 pages. lucerne and jiro watch mecha anime on vhs in his basement playroom. diane keeps bringing home wild animals as pets and fred keeps secretly releasing them bc he doesnt want a fucking squirrel in his house. midas collects snowglobes and those little glass animals. araceli will stop mid-fight to infodump about cetaceans and her only friend for the past few years has been a talking bird she loves to argue with. thomas thinks canned coffee and a cigarette is a full breakfast and has a collection of vampire erotica

[woodox-earthtaurus]

Incoming unpopular opinion. Did it not occur to anyone that Filoni, much like Taika in marvel, just doesnt have the respect for the majority of the characters of Star Wars that - say- Favreau with IronMan or others have? Who the hell treats the Mandalorians like he has? Why the hell were either of them allowed to treat Luke like that? 😤 Who wouldn't understand & acknowledge that there's a SAG and WGA strike ongoing and then refuse to be on the front lines / voicing support? They're both writers & directors/producers. And Favreau (like a certain New Zealander) is also an actor. Plus wtf 🙃 was with Kennedy & Filoni being allowed say on Mando s3?

First off, the Nightsisters were never said to be Dark Side Witches except by maybe Dooku and Palpatine. Look where that motivation is coming from. Second, the Zabrak aren't from Dathomir. They're from Iridonia. And they don't always have red/orange skin. That's kind of specific to the *subspecies* that developed on Dathomir. The Nightsisters are literally referred to as 'dathomiri witches'. Third, they're not using the Force. Did 😒 no one see any clips of (or play) Fallen Order or Survivor? Merrin is thought to be one of the very last of her kind. She literally explains to Cal that their Magic isn't the Force.

That leads me to my fourth and fifth points. No4: Filoni is just making shit up at this point, i would hope reviewers would understand this. Why would there be something beyond the 'unknown regions'? This isn't some dinky galaxy we're playing in with Star Wars. Have you SEEN the Star Map for the number of worlds just in the Outer Rim? There are hundreds of solar systems and nebulae and solar clouds and tunnels (wormholes). And he wants you to think that there's a whole new set of worlds beyond 'unknown space'. 🤣😅 I explained about the Dathomiri already but lets use an actual Dark Force God. In Legends, the eldritch horror Abeloth lurks in a cluster of black holes called The Maw. Its within the edges of the Outer Rim - Inside the known universe of Star Wars. There's hardly anything *known* about the areas outside the Outer Rim; its why the name is Wild Space & the *Unknown* Regions. JFC.

After what has been written about beloved characters in the sequels, in Mando, and even with Boba not having starring roles in his own series, I find it highly insulting as a fan that yall just take this dummy's word that this is gospel. Like holy shit, do some basic research TOR before raving about how great ep 6 was for canon.

Canon so far has been dogshit. S3 of Mandalorian, the cliffhangers of both Boba Fett & Kenobi, the shit writing... The only great thing out of Disney post lucasfilm buy is Pedro Pascal as the Mandalorian and getting to see Morrison as Boba. --> 🫠😵 I find it super insulting that Disney would retcon *their own canon* from games/books/earlier shows to allow Elspeth and the 'Great Mothers' to have the Force. To say that this 'never before known planet' is some special jedi place. To hint that Thrawn might be the main antagonist when no one can say that with the strike or books that are *already out*. Icould keep going but yall bore me. Ewww.

[silurisanguine]

Tagging the Coemancer Crew - as well as @code1r15 @lakritzwolf and anyone else who'd like to do this for their OC. I'll do Seren Jones for this one.

1 - What is the character’s go-to drink order? Hot drink would be earl grey tea. Soft drink would be any kind of juice and alcoholic would be an Ashta Fire bourbon.

2 -What is their grooming routine? Seren loves changing her hair colour. Originally she sported silver cropped hair but since going through Unity has let it grow a little and dyed it a dark turquoise blue. Her depression at the start of Unity made her let go of her appearance for a while and her silver hair grew out, she stopped caring about her appearance. But after meeting good people, she came out of that and that's when she had her makeover. She loves dark lipstick and eyeliner but doesnt spend a massive amount of time with makeup. 3 -What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? Probably her ship. The Valkyrie. Although the base is a commandeered Ecliptic Claymore, she rebuilds it every universe into her ship which takes a lot of credits each time. But as she knows she can't take her wealth with her, she doesn't mind splurging. The next biggest purchase would often be a legendary Va'ruun rifle should the Trader sell one she likes.

4 -Do they have any scars or tattoos? Apart from the mental scars she has a couple little ones on her face from mining and combat. But her signature tattoo is a trail of stars that coils around her body. She also now has a band going around her ring finger to remind her of the real one she can no longer bring with her through Unity. 5 -What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? ha....Oh at this point in time? Meeting another universe version of herself happily married to the Sam in that universe. 6 -Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? Only child. Once the Colony war started, her parents dont think it wise to have any more children and focused on just Seren. When it ended, the settled systems were still recovering and they thought the same as before. It is not unusual in the settled systems for children to not have siblings due to lack of resources at the start limiting population. But it can be isolating.

7 - Describe the shoes they’re wearing. Something comfortable most of the time. She usually stays in her Starborn suit, which have moulded boots, but if out of it, it's usually chunky boots or fitted moulded boots. She rarely wears heels unless they are wedges or platforms.

8- Describe the place where they sleep. She used to love sleeping in her own bed in her home in Akila, or in the bed at the Lodge or in her customised cabin aboard her Star Eagle. Now her bed is either the cold floor of the Guardian ship or once she'd built it, the cabin in her Valkyrie. Occasionally she will sleep in the Lodge, but there are for now, too many ghosts haunting it for it be a regular thing. 9 - What is their favorite holiday? Many Earth Holidays stopped when humanity went to the Stars and she refuses to celebrate Foundation day when The UC was created. But she did enjoy Solomon festival in Akila in the OG universe. Now she doesn't pay much attention as she never stays in a universe long enough.

10 -What objects do they always carry around with them? As she loses everything each Unity jump, she has a list of things she finds or buys as soon as she jumps through - First aid items, especially ones for frostbite. Plenty of Ammo for her weapons and a encased Ranger badge she swipes from the Coe Museum as it reminds her of Sam's commitment gift she lost.

So my problem with most ‘get to know your character’ questioneers is that they’re full of questions that just aren’t that important (what color eyes do they have) too hard to answer right away (what is their greatest fear) or are just impossible to answer (what is their favorite movie.)  Like no one has one single favorite movie. And even if they do the answer changes.

If I’m doing this exercise, I want 7-10 questions to get the character feeling real in my head. So I thought I’d share the ones that get me (and my students) good results: 

What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/resturant)

What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private)

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time)

Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory) 

What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.) 

Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? (This one might be a me thing, because I LOVE writing/reading about family dynamics, but knowing what kinds of things were ‘normal’ for them growing up is important.)

Describe the shoes they’re wearing. (This is a big catch all, gets into money, taste, practicality, level of wear, level of repair, literally what kind of shoes they require to live their life.)

Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.) 

What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.) 

[calehenituseappreciation]

Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

[spotsupstuff]

‘Was she enough with the rebellion that maybe leia took her in… wouldn’t she be rey organa/solo in that case’ Spot,, Leia is a skywalker (unless you mean simply in terms of names since I too would imagine Leia using organa more because it’s the name she grew up with. Idk I haven’t actually watched the sequels shrugs)

Though that still doesn’t change the rey and kylo being related in whatever way gHSJSGSH The sequels are a mess I live my life perfectly only consuming the original triology + the prequels

WELL YEAH OFC SHES A SKYWALKER DAS A DUH INFORMATION BUT SHE GOT MARRIED TO HAN SOLO RIGHT. SO WOULDNT HER NAME BE LEIA SOLO IN THAT CASE if the whole "one partner takes the surname of the other" happens in the star wars universe, could not since it doesnt really happened in some place in real life as well AND HER OG NAME OF THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY IS ORGANA

n if rey presents herself as a "skywalker" + the high doubt it was cuz LUKE took her in cuz my god then only Leia could be the one who possibly could've inflicted the skywalker name on her but Leia doesnt really go by skywalker from what i've seen in the lego games (my knowledge is all rooted from that rn so like im dumby bout the "main" chars for now i admit) she gets more presented as [rebelion/resistance title] Leia Organa in which case it would make more sense for the rey creature to take on the Organa name rather than the skywalker one just... where the fuck did that skywalker thing come from why is it treated as some sorta title when its a gog dang name

IT CONFUSES ME SO MUCH N NOW U, WHOM I SEE KNOWS MUCH BETTER THAN ME, CONFIRMS THAT THOSE TWO ARE KINDA NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK RELATED IS SO FUCKIN WAURGH THE MORE I LEARN BOUT THE SEQUELS THE MORE UPSET I BECOME the rey x kylo ren ship was popular too wasnt it???? on god???

[beelieveinfandom]

Convo from the 18+ discord about a very silly star wars crossover I wanted to share.

gremgeous the gem pillar Just had a GREAT idea for a star wars crossover Just dipper visiting the star wars universe for whatever reason (multiverse vacation maybe? Idk. Dipper maybe dusted off that old portal in a fit of nostalgia or smth) and palpatine finds him and tries to tempt alcor to his side by offering him power Standard stuff for the sith really Except Well If you offer a demon unspecified power, in what form are they going to take it if not in the one who is offering's soul? Biggest and best tasting power boost there is, really! And then maybe he takes over the empty shell of a body afterwards which may or may not grant him force acess and alcor has a grand old time making a mess out of running the republic (or at least running lose in the senate) This is like... early prequals or pre-preauals era maybe. When palpafucker is still undercover and being all covert and unsuspicious and stuff I call this.... "palpatines penechance for grand speeches and unspecific ominous statements to try and seem all powerful and cool and dramatic fuck him over" Or in shorter terms ... . "There's a demon lose in the senate" And it basically runs like that one john mullaney bit With a side dashing of that one journak 3 thing where bill posesses a guy, messes with a roman army and then makes a guys head explode Also like nobody knows who alcor is or that hes even there bc theres no demons or dream demons in star wars (that i know of) so he gets the run of the place Even moreso than back home in gravity falls bc no one knows magic, its all "force this" and "force that" Dippered probably spends a lot of time nerding out over the different alien species since they dont have those back in his dimension (theyve got aliens but theyre different kinds) and also about the laser swords (just like the one Grunkle Ford made for them all (Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Grenda, Candy, Grendas boyfriend, Pacifica, and even waddles and gompers)  back in 2017! Good times, good times.)

swbeeworm oh this sounds like fun

gremgeous the gem pillar Right???

swbeeworm if i was familiar enough with the star wars universe to write anything in it i'd give this a shot

gremgeous the gem pillar right???

swbeeworm like i know star wars?? but i don't know star wars n i have to know something to be confident in writing it

gremgeous the gem pillar Sadly everything i know comes from time travel fixit and semi-salty pro-jedi meta

swbeeworm but just.... the sheer chaotic potential of this...

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh yes....... Oh its be so good..........

swbeeworm oh mood it would be

gremgeous the gem pillar @Abigor u like star wars too gimme ur thooooughts When ur awake and have them to give

swbeeworm ugh i should. probably not be awake, i have stuff to do tomorrow n i have a headache but this is fun to think about

gremgeous the gem pillar I had another thing thats fun to think abt too Clone wars era, alcors there and everyon thinks hes a brand new sith player b/c gold eyes

swbeeworm just the shenanigans. the bullshittery. the sheer what-le-fuck reactions of everyone from the senate to the jedi to the people ooooooooo

gremgeous the gem pillar YES!!! Exactly.

gremgeous the gem pillar Oooooh jedi can do mind things i wonder what alcor wpuld feel like to them

swbeeworm my first instinctive responses were: 1) constant Screaming and a whirlwind mishmash of colors/concepts/etc that makes everyone who 'looks' too long start bleeding thru the nose/eyes 2) wii music on loop and these are VERY different prompts to have back to back but that's what i got

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHSGGSHD I LOVE IT Oh what if its both at the same time Ajdhegdhdj what rven is the music like in star wars anyway

swbeeworm the fkin,,,, cantina music

gremgeous the gem pillar Like how would they react when confronted w wii music

swbeeworm is the equivalent i would think

gremgeous the gem pillar Do they even have the same sorts of instruments do they even know what electronic music is

swbeeworm just. that spawned another Thought imagine that the cantina music from That One Scene is the sw-equivalent of the wii music and just.  just imagine that same scene playing but with wii music on loop in the background

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh "wii music on loop" i love it AODHDHSHSJD

swbeeworm it would probably FIT they have the same vibe

gremgeous the gem pillar Im crying Mits so good

swbeeworm sdjlksdafj i saw a post the other day that was talking abt the music there n how it kept playing on loop n the poster joked that it might have been like,, the john mulaney salt-pepper-diner-story situation which is only tangentially related to this topic but i had to recall it

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSHH i love that Gosh ok i feel like take 1 would fit with the new sith in town scenario And take 2 fits with theres a demon lose in the senate

swbeeworm sfsdkfjh yES

gremgeous the gem pillar But how FUCKING HILARIOUS would it be if in the senate story its the former, and in the oh so serious sith story its the wii music on loop im akdhsjdvsjdhsjbd

swbeeworm ASLDJSLKFJ plEASE take 1: gritty, serious, angst, deadly miscommunications--and fucking wii music on loop take 2: lighthearted, cracky, shenanigans and bullshittery--and fucking bleeding out the eyes if you try n read the guy talk about dissonance

gremgeous the gem pillar "Big scary sith! Look at the yellow eyes! What dastardly plots cpuld he be thinking/partaking in....." [Hard cut to alcor pov/inside alcors head] wii music plays as he stares off into space during a supposedly very important meeting

gremgeous the gem pillar OH I DO LOVE THE DISSONANCE Gsjdgysgsvsjgd wheeze its so good i love it

swbeeworm me tooooo .....for the sith one. would ppl see blue fire n think lightning

gremgeous the gem pillar Theyd probably think its some other secret sith technique

swbeeworm fair enough

gremgeous the gem pillar Everyone thinks one of the other sith lines that was supposedly wiped out had it since this sith deffs aint the line of bane- even the cirrent sith wanna know where alcors popped in from "Lightning was the bane line specialty.... guess where ever this kids guys from fire was theirs"

swbeeworm= adjlsdfkjlfkjf the shenanigans n bullshittery one imagine alcor-as-palpatine just. going incorporeal, still visible but not able to be touched, and the jedi go from "what the fuck is going on"  to "why the fuck is he  a force ghost"

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSGSHSGSHSA

swbeeworm alcor, who'd done it only bc his ~ornate robes~ had got so caught/tangled on something he could only get free by phasing through it: ??????

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Alcor: how the fuck did this guy move around in these AJDHSGDH ALCOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE SITH- SHOWS UP TO THE SENATE IN THE SITH ROBES

swbeeworm asdlkjsfkjsdfdf

gremgeous the gem pillar CALLS IT A "FASHION STATEMENT" WHEN CALLED OUT ON IT

swbeeworm a fASHION STATEMENT YES alcor: :blobsweats: alcor: what the FUCK is a sith alcor: and why do they have better style than the jedi

gremgeous the gem pillar WHEEZE He doesnt know jack shit abt the jedi or anything hes just vibing!!!!!!

swbeeworm yesssssss

gremgeous the gem pillar AJDGSGGDJS YOU KNOW WHATVWPUKD BE EVEN BETTER ALCOR THINKS THE SITH LOOK IS TACKY AF

swbeeworm alcor: no listen. listen. i picked these space robes out of my space wardrobe because they looked cool, not because i'm part of some. some space cult ljflskdajfslkdfjsd

gremgeous the gem pillar BUT HE STILL THINKS ITS BETTER THAN THE JEDI

swbeeworm that's even better

gremgeous the gem pillar space cult im HOWLING

swbeeworm you KNOW he'd be so excited at being in space this DORK

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph gosh imagine it starts out all dark and serious and angsty and creepy in the whole beginning exchange But as soon as the day after alcor takes up palps role hits it takes a sharp turn into crack terriotry

gremgeous the gem pillar OH HE WOULD

swbeeworm yESSSS

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor takes one look at dooku and is like "youre the only one aroynd here with any sort of fashion sense" "And its HORRIBLE"

swbeeworm sljflskdjfsd

gremgeous the gem pillar Just roasts him And by extension everyone else too

swbeeworm dooku has NO IDEA what's going on but at this point ""palpatine"" or whatever's taken over him is ten minutes into a rant abt the layers on layers of boring robes jedi wear and at this point he'll take the backhanded compliment about his own style

gremgeous the gem pillar Akehdsjfssksgsjd

swbeeworm just to shut him up

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHDJDGDJDHD Alco goes on a 30 minute rant on why suits are SO much more professional

swbeeworm snaps "palpatine" into a suit and goes "...except maybe for this guy idk if anything could make him look good"

gremgeous the gem pillar And its more of a backhanded insukt than a backhanded compliment but anything to shut the guy up, right?

swbeeworm how much we roasting palpatine here

gremgeous the gem pillar To a blackened crisp

swbeeworm as it should be

gremgeous the gem pillar Its better than his wrinkly old rasin look anyday

swbeeworm lskjdlsakjfdf agreed

gremgeous the gem pillar Be hard NOT to improve on that honestly But the dude sinks so low i bet hed somehow manage it

swbeeworm --alcor getting fed up w palpatine's body and just. showing up to the senate meetings, full alcor, eyes n his normal face n everything, in palpatine's robes, and when someone rightfully asks him who the hell is he, he just deadpans "i'd think by this point you'd recognize your own chancellor" and just straight insists he's palpatine (and has the knowledge to back it up) every time someone sputters

gremgeous the gem pillar Also i included the bit abt the journal 3 thing bc my saga of alcor repeating bill's patterns, behaviors, and ideas unknowlingly and without awareness that that is what he is doing shall continue >:3c

gremgeous the gem pillar AODHAJDBAKWJHEVEJDJDHSHSHSJWOWKJEHEE I LOVE IT OH HOW I LOVE OT ALSOWHSKJDISOSOAJAIW Oh gosh what if he fuckin

swbeeworm because at this point it's less about blending in and more about trolling the whole senate and being as distracting as possible  because with everyone paying attention to his trolling theyre less likely to notice the bills for clone rights n abolishing slavery n such that he's pushing thru in the background misdirection at its finest

gremgeous the gem pillar I was gonna say a thing abt alcor replacing palps b4 the election and so they did elect alcor to chancelorhoood But it might be funnier if he took him over AFTER abd still says that bit abt recognizing their own chancellor Oh gosh in that secind scenario it would be hilarious if the jedi are all  :blobglare: @alcor except for obi-wan who is all like "i am looking away" bc at least THIS guy (whiever the hell he is) has stopped being such a creep abt anakin

swbeeworm the jedi are sent in to figure out wtf is going on and. they, unfortunately, bewilderingly, confirm that this is the same person as the chancellor who'd been showing up recently??? same wii music/bleeding effect??

swbeeworm alcor, finding appointments with some random jedi kid on palpatine's calendar: wtf why is this creep trying to meet with a kid alone, yeah how about i cancel that

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJD Alcor, looking at palpatibes planner: "every day i am more and more glad that i ate thig guys soul" "Like i knew it was oily but im suprised i havent got an upset stomach from it yet"

swbeeworm sjlskdfjsdf alcor the next day, after finding stuff abt the order 66 chip things, gagging: "i spoke too soon"

gremgeous the gem pillar Obi-wan to the council: hmm? Yes this is totally the chancellor, i know this because of all the previous meetings and close relationship he has had with my padawan which you allowed and helped facillitate- "Palpatine":[has a completley different body type, height, and face. Plus he actually has hair and is maybe even floating a little but its hard to be sure in those black and gold robes- and with a completely different voice] oh, yeah, totally, Im the chancellor and i totally know who this guy and that kid is yup yup yup-

gremgeous the gem pillar [UGLY LAUGHTER] AkdjskkdkdjsysAODJSJEUEIEIIEF

swbeeworm ASDKAFDF "palpatine": [grins with very sharp teeth at a nervous senator] council: "okay that is NOT normal" obi-wan, deadpan: "i'm sorry, it sounds like you're discriminating against non-human beings? that's not very jedi of you now is it"

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDHDJDHD Wait wait no what if its "This is completely normal behavior. I, as a human, know this for certain" "I can do this too, but i dont, because it is impolite, but hes the chancellor he can do whatever he wants"

swbeeworm asldksajflksdfjsdf;jsdf yes yes beautiful

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor and obi-wan team up to be passive agressive at everyone who allowed palps and anakin to hang out ABOUT them letting an unsupervised minor chill w a suoer duper old guy Shoulda had a chaperone at LEAST Butalso

swbeeworm the other humans on the council: "uh, actually-" obi-wan: [manages to sip tea (which he shouldn't even have access to in a council meeting btw) with an aggressively polite smile and silent Threat] the other humans: "....um."

gremgeous the gem pillar "Thats not very jedi of you now is it" AODHSJSIDHALSVD IM HOWLING I LOVE IT THE SASS wheeze*

swbeeworm i live for obi-wan sass it gives me LIFE

gremgeous the gem pillar SAME oh its so good Love that one post where obj-wan is on tatooine and calls all the force ghosts to view his powperpoint presentation about how letting palps have acess to analin was a bad idea as hed been saying all along-

swbeeworm u need to know i wrote this with the "that's not very plus ultra of you" meme, which is a bnha offshoot of the "that's not very cash money of you" meme, in my head on repeat

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph him terrorizing all the people palpatine had in his pocket...... Ok this is veering into even MORE crack territory but at some poibt alcor replaces, uh, whats the dudes name, palps second in command - mess something-or-other? - with a nightmare Not just ANY nightmare But a DIFFERENT nightmare each day

swbeeworm ASDLSDFKLDJF PLEASE

gremgeous the gem pillar They took it upon themselves to go on rotation They couldn't decide who should go when alcor proposed the idea so its everyone One at a time They dont even look REMOTELY human Or like anything the galaxy has ever known or seen And theres no "secretive supernatural species" excuse for them to fall back on here lmao

swbeeworm random dude: "what is that???" alcor, cheerful: "that's my assistant" rd: "is that--is that supposed to be a sheep?" alcor: "no they're my assistant" nightmare: [sound that, if you ignore the reverb and microphone-screeching and kazoo effects, might be a "baaa"] alcor: [smiles aggressively wider with sharp teeth] rd: [sweats nervously]

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDJDKSIEJEHAJWJWHEI Obi-wan: i am still l :eyes:king away Anakin: oooh, the wool is so soft master. Come feel it! Obi-wan: really? Ooh youre right The council: ....

swbeeworm rd: "okay but this is a DIFFERENT one than yesterday right?? right???" alcor: "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about :)" obi-wan, still with tea he should not have, this time with space whiskey mixed in: "sir i think you might be seeing things, they are clearly the same individual as yesterday"

gremgeous the gem pillar Mace: ...hrm it is quite soft- The rest of the council: ??? When did he get-

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHDHD JUST LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH ALDJDHFJF

swbeeworm obi-wan looking mace dead in the eye and chugging his spiked tea which is more whiskey than tea at this point: "how dare you accuse me of lying.  me, after everything i've done for this council.  i am betrayed.  heartbroken.  never shall trust again.  i am leaving until i recover" -and promptly fucks off on a vacation with anakin

gremgeous the gem pillar The jedi start getting a LOT more missions about busting slave rings and giving aid in the outer rim - plus some more dimplomacy docused ones in regards to solving teeaties instead of putting down rebellions

-alcor shows up on the vacation with zero explanation and obi-wan at this point is like "fuck it why not" -a nightmare takes his place in palpatine's robes in the senate for the week they're gone

gremgeous the gem pillar ALSJSHDJDJSKDHEE Weirdly enough some of the more corrupt senators go missing after that week No one knows what hapoebed to them but the robes the "chancellor" wore that week have some awfully suspicious stains WAIT WAIT WHAT IF ITS NOT A NIGHTMARE WHAT IF ITS GOMPERS alcor didn't even ASK gompers to be there he was planning to not even warn anyone n just vanish but gompers just SHOWED UP the nightmares were the ones who put the robes on him

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor doesn't even KNOW gomoers is there He gets back after the week and is like "what the heck" The nightmares are pretty proud of themselves for that one

swbeeworm the nightmares, collectively: "this is gonna be HILARIOUS" alcor, halfway across the galaxy, sees a newsfeed of a senate meeting with gompers in the robes in his place, and spits his drink clear across the room

he's only mad because he didn't think of it in the first place

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Hes proud of them

swbeeworm he IS

gremgeous the gem pillar Its so HILARIOUS

swbeeworm i pity anyone trying to read this mess later but i hope we at least make them laugh once

gremgeous the gem pillar Same Its such a joy Alcor teaches anakin the secret to mabel juice

swbeeworm oh no

gremgeous the gem pillar Only the children thank him The minders.... not so much

swbeeworm alcor: "okay so what i'm hearing is, the adult jedi have been making Stupid Decisions and not paying as much attention to the kids, as evidenced by them letting that one kid have meetings one on one with the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago. so, clearly what needs to happen is something that forces the adults to pay attention to the kids and start keeping a closer eye on them, but it can't be something that actually hurts the kids because then i'd feel bad" alcor: "...." alcor: :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar akdhdjsgshsjhdsjdjdj

swbeeworm alcor in a totally not suspicious trench coat and sunglasses: "hey. hey, kid. you wanna try some mabel juice?"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJDLFKFIFJIF WHEEZE "With the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago" ALDJDBDJDJDDHDHDJDJDJDJDJDJDJSJDJEJEJE

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSHDJDJF

swbeeworm star wars kids: "mr chancellor why are you wearing that" alcor: "because i think it's funny" kids: "it isn't" alcor: "look do you want the juice or not"

gremgeous the gem pillar I LOVE ALL OF THAT LOOK DO YOU WANT THE JUICE OR NOT

swbeeworm i am having WAY too much fun with this ldjsldkfjdsf;

gremgeous the gem pillar "Were not supposed to take drugs from strangersl" "Its not- just take it!"

Hooooh man thats so funny Oh gosh Alcor uses a different time/date system

Than the star wars one

swbeeworm ooooooo yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Nit super sure where im going with this but.... Pretty sure he woukdnt know the star wars one At all Maybe the in-umuverse knockoff calendar maybe Hes wnough of a nerd to have that memorized But the star wars proper one

No, no i dont think he knows that one

swbeeworm nope no chance

gremgeous the gem pillar Omg yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Well its a good thing we have this..... and the mistaken sith version too :blobamused:

WAIT WAIT QAIT FLASH OF INSPIRATION ALCOR GIVING ANAKIN THE STRANGER DANGER PPT

swbeeworm i have 1 scene i can think of that actually almost made my friend cry and i have 1 au scene of a different au of mine where a character who canonically dies and gets brought back to life...doesn't come back (which is extra angst bc this is a Ghost Seeing Fic) and both of these i wrote at like 3-4am

swbeeworm SDFJKSDLFSJf YES :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor: "you know, i usually save this one for the kids who followed the stranger with the nice candy into the alleyway and end up as sacrifices but I feel like you could benefit from it too"

swbeeworm alcor: "no talking to suspicious ppl" anakin: "except you right?" alcor: "....in any other situation i'd say no but if i say that you're just gonna up and leave (i see that grin thanks very much) so in this one singular personal case it is fine that you trust my very suspicious self"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSJDJJD "My very suspicious self" Aksjdhdd

swbeeworm obi-wan, straight up knocking back shots now: "the man has a point anakin"

gremgeous the gem pillar Haha nice Obi-wan is taking notes Hes also re-inventing alcoholic mabel juice He weaseled the recipie out of the kids

swbeeworm asldfkjsdlkfjd imagine if somehow SIDIOUS CAME BACK and tries to take back over the senate but everyone at this point is used to alcor and one of two things happens: 1) they assume this is alcor messing with them with a clone/double (they don't know how he'd do it but at this point given his "assistants", the goat that somehow made more eloquent speeches than the "human", and the other things involved, they wouldn't put it past him) and just ignore him 2) they look between the real palpatine who'd been pushing thru some very sketchy bills, and between alcor who's been sneaking through law after law protecting all kinds of sentients, and they turn back to palpatine and go "how dare you impersonate the chancellor" and kick him out

swbeeworm at this point he deserves it tbh

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHFDJDJDJD Ok i preffer him dead and gone and forgotten in favor of alcor (its what he deserves) but oh those are hilarious

swbeeworm agreed to both counts alsdjalsdk

gremgeous the gem pillar ESPECIALLY if the senate chooses to keep alcor over palps XD Ph man we can work that into him being dead and gone too- alcor starts dispersing the power and the other half of the senate w bail and padme are like "yeah seems legit" along w obi-wan The jedi only put like, a token effort into investigating and are more put out by trying to figure out what happened to the real palpatine and all his past shady dealings than exposing the current "palpatine" for a fake

swbeeworm palpatine: "excuse me?? i am the chancellor of this republic" councilmembers, with the same deadpan as alcor's been pulling on them all year: "sir, i think you're confused. this is the chancellor" [points to alcor, in palpatine's robes from his closet, making no attempt to hide his lack of resemblance to palpatine, with a nightmare at his side wearing a small top hat that proclaims its position as "chancellor's assistant"] palpatine: [screams of frustration]

gremgeous the gem pillar Once they reaize the shift in mission assignments can be attributed to new palp

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJSJSJSBEJSJSJSHSJSKS

swbeeworm yesss this

gremgeous the gem pillar I wanna say maul gets the joy and pleasure of offibg palpatine the second time in that version

swbeeworm FINALLY they get a chance to pull one back over on someone, pass along the suffering a little bit

swbeeworm oh definitely

oh shit we've been at this for an hour

gremgeous the gem pillar Maul comes back and offs palps and evrryone is jist like "Maul!!! How?!?" And completley ignore the palpatibe corpse 2.0 Ajdhhd so we have Niiiight book

Also from a tumblr post the phrase "your pal friendpatine" is hilarious and i think yall shoukd enjoy it too As is "SOMEHOW... MAUL RETURNS" Both taken from the same post lol Okokok so switchibg tracks for a bit Revisiting Some groundwork for the mistaken sith version Alcor is there..... because al-v was there first, made friends with the droid army mid clone war, and caled his dad in to help Which puts alcors initial point of contact as the separost foot soldiers

gremgeous the gem pillar No matter what the dominant language alcor has most recently been using OH OH OH ALCOR WITH ACESS TO OTHER UNIVERSE SLANG CONFUSING ALL THE SENATE WITH HIS NONSENSICAL PHRASES AND IDIOMS AND SLANG/PROFANITY LIKE "over the moon" AND "hot belgian waffles" AND "fuck" "Palpatine": [drops paperwork he JUST spent so much time disorganizing (as in putting in a dissaray)] FUCK Senator: .... sir, what is a 'fuck' "Palpatine": ......... im not explaining that to you Or conversley he makes smth up Alcor, upon realizing the most common swear word is "kriff': yeaht hats stupid im not saying that Alcor mercilessly roasting the star wars profanity And how stupid they all sound. This one is great for the al-v and alcor make friend w a droid army and maybe-sorta steal them while massivelt confusing and mystifying everyone along the way, bc why not add a language barrier on top of all the other assumptions and misunderstandings >:D But also at the same time it would make sense for him to have got thw local language in an infodump somewhere along the line (maybe an older version) if its located in a different galaxy but the same universe........... but also what if theyre just suoer far away so he didnt get priority acess...... or even if he traveled back in time ............. [Shrug] idk Mwanwhile inexplicably having the same language is hilarious in the demon lose in the senate ons but also imagine alcor pretending to be palpatine while unable to speak the common tongue lolol I know it wouldnt work (he has to be able to understand palpatine on some level to take MASSIVE advantage of him and eat his soul) but it is hilarious to think abt the shenanigans............ OH GOSH ALCOR TAKING CONTROL OF THE SENAT BUT BEING UNABLE TO R E A D AKDBSKSKJFF Okokok Imagine the basic/english language inexplicably being the same structure w a few different words and concepts...... when spoken And completley different when written down SO ALCOR CAN SPEAK BUT HE CANT READ Meanwhile in mistaken for a sith land alcor either doesnt have any knowledge of the local language or else gets a SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLE DEAD LANGUAGE in an infodump (to help feed the misunderstandings and rumors and future clashes w the sith and the jedi hehhehheh) bc semi-omniscience is not total omniscience and so is not everything and, once again, is not very helpful But ill leave off for tonight on the thought of alcor, lose in the senate, in the seat of the chancellor, lord of all paperwork for the galactic republic....... and able to read NONE of it And barely understands it too (demons are not ones for politics, Brian the Organ Duck and his 200 year sucessful presidency run aside) (his is soemthing of the exception, not the rule.) Meanwhile all those humanitarian aid bills and the like are all being passed by bail and padmes group all over the place bc their strange and inexplicable source of resistance was devoured like, a week ago Not ones to look a gift horse in ths mouth until AFTER they get what they want the group passes a ton of bills without delay - and manages to break up a few monopolies along the way Now im not saying that "palpatine" suddenly acting off and the bills facing a lot less resistance is a noticeable coincidence...... and around the same time he stops asking after anakin ............... but im totally saying they notice it and realize its probably, absolutely, not a coincidence and theyre not going to say anything bc they like this new "palpatine" better. Despite all the other mindbending weirdness and mindfuckery going on there The jedi are only mad abt alcor bc a few of their own started bleeding from the eyes nose and ears when they tried to investigate initially so theyre a little ticked off abt that, which, fair.

Also the blantant lying and lack of trying on alcors part is a little insulting to them as a whole ("does he think we'll really fall for that") and is slightly concerning to them ("who the heck is this, someone is inpersonating the chancellor of the ENTIRE REPUBLIC-" Which is, admittedly, a little concern worthy)  but if the council is honest (or some of the council anyway) with themselves its pretty much the darn best entertainmnt theyve had in a good long while, headaches aside, sot ehyll focus more on the okd palpatines dissapernace and dealings than the new "palpatine" so long as he doesnt start doing anything ACTIVELY damaging to the republic. A little mischief doesnt technically count as harm- and hey theys preffer to find the og chancellor b4 upsetting and potnetially causing the new one to do smth drastic by attsmpting to out him (not that alcor would, its so much funnier to deny everything to their faces while blatantly lying but they dont know that. So caution (and stress) it is)

[bulbabutt]

i genuinely cannot believe you read a post where someone said "this text reeks of christian propaganda and that frustrates me" and decided to say "you dont understand the christian text, let me explain what christians believe"

it leads me to believe that despite calling yourself an ex-christian that you haven't grappled with what that really means. you arent grasping that cultural christianity is the entire problem im having. youve basically reworded and explained away any problems as "its like this in christianity". like yes. that is the problem. that is a negative aspect to the story. it speaks to you not growing in society as an outsider to cultural christianity that you cannot see that, and that you havent grown past the indoctrination you probably grew up with. maybe you dont go to church anymore, but arguing that it means more to the world that the robots have literal tangible souls now speaks to how you still believe in that concept.

to be clear: im watching all of transformers chronologically. ive not read idw. i am currently in the middle of prime wars, and just witness megatronus, god of decepticons come out of a firey portal from below. like. jesus thats heavy handed.

to be very clear your statement as a whole here is extremely flawed.

"Humans fulfill the narrative role of robots in Transformers"

i dont think you know much about sci fi robots if you think humans in this universe could take their place in this narrative. the argument for human life in the eyes of the transformer in this universe is more like the argument that an ant has life compared to you. humans are short lived biological creatures, they seem like an accident to a million year old robot.

that is not following the logic of the organic being creating a synthetic one to do its labour, it doesnt ask the question 'we made this being, is it alive? does its life have value, or is it property?'

to get a grasp on the concept im talking about, i recommend you to watch some star trek to learn about what im talking about, this very famous scene comes to mind:

this is not an argument you can make of humans fulfilling the role. this is why we make media about robots. and you might say "well it doesnt have to be the only one" correct, but why does what replaces it need to be some divine intervention? some one to one christian doctrine? youve said it yourself, yet youre not grasping the concept of that being negative.

yes, the robots are more alien than robot, but why? they used to be robots with life outside of 'soul'. they used to be alive without us needing to be able to explain it. heres something seaspray says when his friend worries his lack of what she sees as 'soul' will get him killed:

"Maybe that is all I am, a bunch of transistors and bolts, but I don't believe it! My heart may look like an energon pump but that doesn't mean it can't feel."

its boring to take this concept away to just retell the bible, a story that culturally everyone knows, religious or not. it comes from a patriarchal worldview, the all powerful father who grants us life. it was far more compelling an argument to have the robots be alive despite the lack of what a human would call 'a soul'. the robot represents interesting things, and in g1 it still did.

in g1 they were created by another being, the quintesson. an alien who designed them to be their slaves. the robots rose up against their makers, and its been so long since then they have forgotten. their creators arent an all powerful good being, they are beings who dont value any life outside their own. they hold courts where they view innocence as punishable by death, yet they created our beloved transformers. it makes the transformers more alive to see them as so autonomous in this narrative. here's a fascinating quote from rodimus prime about them:

"We Transformers have looked into the face of our creators...and we have seen the face of an enemy."

this makes them more alive to me then any idea of a life spark ever could. they were beings rebelling against a status quo, thinking and feeling, finding injustice in their existence. taking charge of their autonomy. the fact the quintesson is an enemy to both autobot and decepticon is beautiful, it says something interesting. far more interesting than the idea that a god grants them life and they need to serve him and his worldview, and if you dont then you are the outsider, the decepticon.

also just some quick points of why its bad to base this story on the bible that you havent grappled with:

solus prime is the only female prime. she dies and her body becomes the well of all sparks, also known as the birthing canal of cybertron. woman created in mans image, showing her as deviation from the norm and that her purpose is biological to the lives of men.

we have a divine right of kings. a divine right of primes if you will. the governing system in power has a divine right to be there, creating a pope like figure in whoever leads. do i need to explain why we dont do kings anymore? its a hierachal system that benefits those in power and crushes those who arent.

the decepticons are now the othered, no longer tyrants who are power hungry, but outsiders who have no rights because they do not believe in our beliefs. many examples of why thats bad in the real world.

if the decepticons are the othered, then the autobots are the rulers. it indoctrinates the viewer into seeing the othered as evil. they fight for their rights, but why? do not question it, they do not believe in our beliefs.

it makes the viewer not question authority. why is robots in disguise full of copaganda? it seems for a moment that it will end with us learning the high council is bad and has indoctrinated the planet, but no! its okay it was just those evil decepticons! you know, the ones we hunted down and placed in stasis prison pods for god knows how long? thats where they go, because they are evil and we are good. into the pods you go.

i really charge you to grapple with your own world view. do not claim to be an ex-christian but believe in their beliefs, or if not believe, defend their perspective. all we ever hear about is that perspective. if you are atheist or just a non christian religious person these things seem a lot more obvious. its unfortunate to me that a more interesting more original story could have been told, but it all went out the window to make way for the bible. the fact you are brushing that off is insane to me.

id say maybe im wrong for going off so hard about this toy commercial franchise, but clearly its sending a poor message and people like you havent grasped it yet.

not to still be all up in arms about the transformers religion but holy fuck, robots having religion is nothing new, they can have theology! that makes sense! robots who are fully sentient seeking out a reason for their souls is totally fine! im not saying the transformers shouldnt believe in primus or the all spark or believe in the 13 primes that whole thing works, it just bothers me that the canon of their religion is canon to the story. why is their planet LITERALLY their god. why is their religion based in literal history. i shouldnt even call it their religion, its just their canonical history. thats the problem! it comes from the perspective of writers who see religious doctrine as real history!

it also sucks for the nature of the robot as a concept! instead of being machines so advanced they are sentient, they are now fully formed beings granted souls by their god. thats no longer synthetic life conceptually, is it? that is a higher being creating life out of nothing. the concept of robots comes from slave labour, machines created by man to further their own advancements. machines created by organic life, not machines granted life by an ethereal being. they were created as commentary on capitalism. it asks the question "if this life is created synthetically, but it forms sentient thought, it is alive?". most other stories containing robots do this. think about overwatch's omnics, mass effects geth, star trek characters like data and the doctor, we the audience see them as alive but people in their worlds have to debate about it. that is the point of science fiction, to have theological discussions about robots.

what disappoints me about transformers isnt the changing of the lore, but the fact they couldnt conceive of anything more interesting to say about robots. i was watching g1 thinking "i cant wait to see future adaptations take this concept and flesh it out", and watching these adaptations strip the nature of the robot entirely from the lore in place of some all powerful god really sucks! imagine if their theology was the same, but their history was not. imagine robots who believe their planet is their god in spite of not actually knowing that to be true. wouldnt that be conceptually more interesting? wouldnt that say something?

instead of a unicron who is just a cosmic horror, a rogue planet who hungers for other worlds to sustain itself, unicron now represents all evil in the universe. hes a being of pure evil, existing as the equal and opposite to the canonically good god primus, the planet of cybertron. that ruins the concept to me. theyre taking the fun of science fiction out of it, turning it into basic "all good in the universe comes from god". it takes the choice of being good or evil out of it. giving them literal souls takes them choosing to say they have souls out of it. it takes the choice of valuing biological life away from the robots themselves to say that it is simply evil to not.

maybe some adaptation i havent gotten to yet will say something else, but as it stands right now im just so disappointed that this is the route it took.

[ablanktechpriest]

A crack/fun theory: Warhammer 40k and Star Trek share the same universe, but are different timelines

Ok here me out: It all started out with the Nekrons/Borgs.

In the warhammer timeline, the Nekrons discover a gas that feeds on sunlight and decide to turn it ínto sentient robots (or gods) which in return turns them into soulless robots after eating their souls. This then leads to the war in heaven, which causes the realm of souls to turn into the warp.

Meanwhile, in the star trek timeline the Nekron ancestors either dont discover the gas or decide that turning it into robots/gods is utterly ridicoulus and use technology to expand their miserable lifespan of ten human years. This eventually leads to them becoming the borg!

Now what would that mean? Simply put, the Old ones wouldnt get eaten and might become bored of their existence and end up larping as gods of the existing species (like for example zeus). Meanwhile the Eldar would have no reason to restrain their psychic abilities, due to the warp still being the harmless realm of dreams, ending up using them more and perhaps mastering the bending of realities and take up an overseer position to other species also known as the Q.

Of course, the place the traveler takes the enterprise in TNG is just the realm of dreams, but named by his culture. Also warp travel is essentially the same as travelling in the warhammer universe, except harmless and being more explained scientifically (because again, the realm of dreams doesnt fuck up reality as much as the warp, making it far less obvious).

And now to my favorite faction: The Orks. The orks would not have been created and therefore not exist, however(!) there could still evolve a passively psychic species that is incredibly dumb and draws strength from its own stupidity, namely : The Padleks.

In Star Trek: Lower Decks, a Padlek gets sucked into the vacuum of space but ends up fine. This is a bit weird unless you think like an Ork. "Of course he is fine! He was FROZEN! Nothing bad can happen to you if you are frozen!"

[aria-chicken-flugget]

Disney World with The Brothers (+ Undateables)

HCs that no one asked for, i’m just self indulgent ✨

Link To The Brothers post

*Based on Disney World Orlando Resort*

The Undateables

Luke 👼

“Don’t hold my hand i’m not a child!”

Would grab your hand in excitement

“I don’t want to go on that boat ride it’s for babies!”

When no one else could hear, holding his arms behind his back whilst running his foot along the ground, blushing furiously -

“MC... will you take me on the ride, please?”

Cotton candy. Loves it. Would get it all over his fingers and all around his mouth.

Would be unable to hide The Brightest Smile TM when that Disney music plays and he sees the castle in Magic Kingdom

“Want to go on Whinnie the Poo?” “That’s a Baby Ride! >:(“

Goes on and LOVES IT

Has sooo much fun just getting to be a kid, holds nothing back after a little encouragement from you

You and Simeon look like his parents when you sit either side of him on a ride lol

Would be desperate to stay even when the park closes

“:’(“ “Hey, it’s ok! We’ll get to see another park tomorrow!” “:D”

Would hold onto yours and Simeon’s hand, humming the theme to Pirate’s of the Caribbean as you leave

“Did you have fun? I thought you didn’t like boat rides.” “That was a scary boat ride - the pirates were horrible.” Blush - deniaalll lol

Would berate you heavily if you tried to get him any kind of toy

Would take the toy home and never let go

Simeon 😇

“What’s a Mickey Mouse? I’m still new to this”

Always smiling and loves that he’s experiencing this with you and Luke

He LOVES Soarin’ as it feels like home but better, as he’s ‘flying’ with you

Trolls Diavolo into going on It’s a Small World After All and acts Innocent TM

Seems pleased enough, enjoys the experience but it’s made better by the company

Makes sure everyone has their belongings and is drinking plenty of water

“Do you need me to grab that for you, MC? I can hold it whilst you go on the ride with Luke?”

Asks Directions TM. Maps don’t work for this boi lol and he gets easily lost lmao

Wouldn’t purposefully ignore The Mom’s Itinerary but inexplicably keeps wandering off, eventually being found with an apologetic smile on his face

Doesnt understand you have to queue to get on until he gets told for the billionth time

Holds your hand as you both marvel at the fireworks, Luke on his shoulders with icecream

Gets Luke an autograph book and gets it signed by all the characters when Luke’s too proud or nervous to himself

“Yes there he is, Luke. He’d love a photograph. Luke? Luke!” *Luke blushing furiously from behind your arm* “SHUT UP SIMEON”

Looks the cutest when in character photos

Realises just how much fun he had when your on the way back from the park

Solomon 🧙‍♂️

Vlogs with Levi sometimes together sometimes separate, but his is more of a troll vlog

To Lucifer on camera - “WHAT ARE THOSE” “They are my crocs! >:(“

Goes FULL HAM TM with you by his side, it’s absolute chaos this boi does NOT run out of energy or things he wants to do

“I wanna go on Jurrassic Park” “... Solomon that’s at Universal.”

Would sneak you away from the brothers, would be very crafty about it to, no one would suspect a thing until it’s been hours since.

Would take the consequences with a nonchalant smile. Does. Not. Regret. A. Thing.

“Itinerary? What’s that?”

“The only good thing about Animal Kingdom is the Mount Everest ride.”

Claims he’s easy breezy about going/where to go in the parks

Actually has very specific favourites and dislikes

“But you said -“ “Yea but who the hell means it when you decide ‘It’s a Small World’” *eyeroll*

Still goes on the ride, and vlogs a meme out if it

Him and Levi SQUEAL at anything Star Wars

When no one is watching, he intesifies the fireworks with magic, watching you beam with amazement is what makes his day

Will try to sneak in a kiss during the fireworks

Barbatos 🕰

It’s the first time you see him smile, like a genuine smile

Is very quiet and is mostly there because of Diavolo, but rather enjoys the atmosphere

Surprisingly loves water rides

Despite being there because of Diavolo, Diavolo urges Butler Barb to let loose and have fun

He does to a degree but never falters his sense of decorum

Similarly to The Mom TM, would be very prepared. Need a napkin? Check. Anti bac? Check. Map? You got it.

When you decide to ride with him, his facade would falter, glancing around BAFFED

“Are - are you sure you want to ride with me, MC? Or did you mistake me for -“ “... Oh, ok.”

Suppresses the intense blush he feels at the revelation that you did, in fact, intend to ride with him

When he relaxes, may occasionally casually hold your hand, making you double take at his nonchalance

Would indulge himself with viewing the experiences you share in the different timelines in which you still go together

“MC, i’m taking you to dinner. If you’d like of course.”

Would be such a gentlemen and so relaxed at night, out of habit when he’s not with Diavolo, he can just simply be himself.

Will hold your hand as you watch the fireworks at dinner. A smirk on his lips before planting a lingering kiss on your cheek to both startle and excite you

Diavolo 👑

“Disney world?! DISNEY WORLD?! That is the no.1 place for your dreams to come true!”

Sincerely believes that is literal

That Laugh TM with his arms spread wide as he sees the Park entrance

Takes photos everywhere, even infront of a trash can - initially thinking “it’s a part of the experience!”

Gets too excited to follow Lucifer’s Itinerary

“Diavolo! You’re not supposed to climb onto the parade floats!”

Would scoop you up onto his back without warning, a ball of energy as he bounces around the park with you this way

“Wow! What is this delicacy?! It’s delicious!” “That’s just a Mickey shaped napkin, Diavolo...”

Would buy all of the balloons from the vendor, looking like a lunatic

“Where’s he gonna keep all those -“ “Don’t even ask.”

That one person who actually enjoys It’s A Small World After All. Sings along and doesnt stop for the rest of the day

Would wear several sets of Mickey ears at once, not realising or caring that it’s not how they’re meant to be worn

“Oh? Of course we can ride together, MC!”

Would smile that much more brightly as you suck up the enjoyment alongside him like a couple of sponges!

“That - that’s not a ride Diavolo -“ “But we must ride this monorail. It is a part of the experience!”

If he’s feeling comfortable, will wrap a strong arm around your waist, pointing out Tinkerbell to you when he spots her before the start of the fireworks

The link to the first post with The Brothers is above! Will edit both but have them for now and again, I hope these make you smile! ☺️✨

[hughiecampbelle]

Uncomplicated (Steve Rogers Oneshot)

Character/s: Steve

Word Count: 1,179

Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @writerdream22 @brithedemonspawn @lotsoffandomrecs @locke-writes @thedarkqueenofavalon @fangirlsarah16 @randomfandomimagine @amirahiddleston @diana-westmoon

A/N: Someone very close to me told me something like this a while back, that I'm a hard person to love, and it's been stuck in my head, so I guess I wanted to make it into something more positive :) Who else to do it better with than my #1 Mans? It's not my best in the whole world, but oh well :P Anyways, this is a lil reminder that no matter what anyone says, you are loved and it is so easy to love you. Nothing you could ever do could change my mind. Hope you like it!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💖💜

Summary: Love can be simple, even when it's never felt like it 💕

Gif Credit: @anakinskywalk :)

FIC MASTERLIST PART ONE. / PART TWO. / PART THREE.

WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?

"You are an incredibly hard person to love."

A fact, maybe one they'd read in passing, reciting verbatim. A poem, their words dipped in heartache and honey. A song, their pitch light and effortless. Something of meaning, of substance, instead of the cold truth. A truth, in their eyes, instead of something that's used to kill. Hard. To love. Questioning the root of the anger, the distaste, the disgust. An indifference so pure, so untouched, it's almost perfect. Almost. Tiles cracked, split right down the middle. Hard, and angry, the kindest place to rest your weary, aching head. The lines in your skull aligning perfectly, as if it had been the source of destruction, the source of smashing,the source of rage. As if you had been the weapon all along. Sometimes, that's what love felt like, their love. You were sure, somewhere out there, someone else's love could be gentle, affectionate, painted in pastels and kissed, cheek to cheek, each night. Love could be patient, understanding, it had the potential to be pure of heart. Theirs was not, and you were never quite sure why. Cracked open. Red seeping between your teeth, your gums, spitting, drooling iron. A heaviness deeper than bone marrow, than the center of the universe. Old wounds open, gaping, hemorrhaging, curious fingers picking, plucking, tearing away scar tissue, scab after scab. They did this because they loved you, because that's what others had done to them, but you couldn't help but question, why in the world would they want to willingly hurt someone because they themselves had been hurt?

You can picture it. The ease of it all. An effortless kind of feeling, light, airy. Nothing that sits on your shoulders, nothing that stifles your sobs, nothing that leaves you shaking, cowering, begging for something, anything, to change.

This is bare soles against the cold wooden floorboards. A refreshing stir midst the summer heat. Avoiding the creaks and crevasses of each board, floating down the staircase of such a place. No worries of slipping. That kind of pain doesnt live in a place like this. Along the wall there are framed pictures of every shape and size. Old and new, him, you, the both of you, black and white, fraying at the ends, all of them smiling through the glass, knowing they're exactly where they should be. You could still feel the ache in your sides, the tears down your cheeks, the laughter that refused to stop, unable to catch your breath. He clung, sure you'd find your way to the bottom, a hammer in his other hand. Another nail poked through too far, just like the others. Assuring him you could do it, but always too stubborn, wanting to try again. All this time, and still so forgetful, his own strength slipping his mind. Now, the walls themselves are bloated and sweating, cursed by the heat, the warmth, the humidity, waiting for the sun to settle. You can hear him, on the porch, the door open, screen letting in what little breeze there is. Calling his name because it's the sweetest word you know, wanting nothing more than to be with him, the distance between you already too great, too much.

This is shooing away the bugs when the stars come to play. Temmperature dropping, his arm around you, doing his best to protect you from the onset of shivering. Together, at last. Nothing but the crickets, the buzzing of a new world come to life, come to play, and the sway of the tall grass can be heard. Constellations sprinkled across the abyss, watching you like you watch them. He tells you all he knows, the stories of men long dead, war torn bones, the comfort they found in the same night sky as you did. You rest your head against him, close enough to hear his steady breathing, a sound you find yourself lulled to sleep by each night. There's a calm in the air, bright like the fireflies, one you can't find anywhere else, nor would you want to. Your own slice of heaven. Stripped of nothing but the smallest wonders of life. The breeze against your skin, nuzzled against your face, reminding you that you're alive, that there is so much more out there than what you see and feel right now.

This is a home alone, in need of space. Escaping the clutter, the noise, wanting more room to breathe. Escaping the noise, and the terror that comes with it. Space to grow, to thrive, to be allowed to change. Stifled for too many years, suffocated under the weight of others. Now it was only two, and that was okay. He is always nearby, reaching out, pulling you close, talking even when he's far away. His hand outstretched waiting for your own. Long walks through the grass, picking flowers, watching the birds and bunnies, naming them one by one. There are no expectations. Nothing waiting home to do, or wanting to be done. Things are as they are, and that's all. He stares, though not the way they used to. His jaw is not tight, his eyes are not narrowed, there is no flinch at the anticipation of words he dould never take back. He stares in awe, wearing a hint of a smirk, a light in his eyes settled sweetly. Sometimes you're able to catch him, your skin burning, looking away before he sees. Sometimes you don't, and those are his favorite moments, when you let him get lost in all your littlest details, reminding him again and again, why he fell for you.

This is the kind of love, of life you used to dream of, hope for, wasting every shooting star and eyelash on what you have now. The ones who weaponize their love, who use it as a means of getting what they want, who only love you for what you do, and not solely for your existence, are gone. They can't touch you anymore. The wounds they left are healing slowly. Sometimes, something will tug at them, snagging on a sharp corner or a distant memory, and it will reopen. Those are the days you fear the only thing you're good for is bleeding out. He's there now, doing what he can, cleaning up the mess. He doesn't always understand, he can't, but that doesn't stop him from trying, and it doesn't stop you from trusting him.

Suddenly, though you guess not so suddenly, the saying is no longer jaded or jagged. It's sharp, pointed ends slicing you through and through are dulled, softer now, tracing your skin instead of slicing. The ways in which they prettied up their words grow old, lipstick smeared, mascara run. This love is not that. It's not dolled up, or pretending to be soft. His words, like himself, are thoughtful, chosen with care, with patience, spoken so softly you can barely hear, as if any louder, something inside might suddenly crack. . . .

"You are an incredible person, so much so, it's impossible not fall in love."

[moonlightchn]

~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~

Not to be a soft motherfucker but I've been wanting to do this again for a week now so I guessed I would try my best to fit as many of my thoughts here as I can without being annoying or tumblr fucking up plz bear with me heh but we know none of those are actually possible anyway so THERES THAT also this is fucking long wow ANYWAY

WARNING WORD VOMIT sjsjsjsj I dont even know what i wrote I'm sorry but I'm tagging yall anyway

Some of you I speak to on a daily basis, yknow? Like,, as admin. And its fucking insane because like- I don't know but like isn't it insane? sjajsjsj How fast some people come to grow in your heart and get under your skin and become so important for you. I think it's crazy. That in four months or so I've made more friends in here that in my whole life and I've learned so much about life and myself and I've gotten marked and some of you imprinted on my mind and heart forever. And like HELL I wasn't here when most big dramas happened but I was here for two very big ones and like??? idk it feels like all of us have been through shared crises and somehow grown closer sjajskwjs idk I'm weird and im sensitive today and I just feel like wow what would I be doing without all of you right now? probably studying. or scrolling Twitter in which I never spoke to anyone. or watching Instagram stories and getting sad over how all my ex class partners are still in contact and hang out and keep strong relationships while I just sit here. like, I know we all say this place sucks and we hate it and its toxic and don't get me wrong of course some people is fucking shitty and they take a toll on a lot of others but that like... it also happens in real life yknow?? but like in real life how many people do you think would actually idk sit with you through a panic attack or stay up with you till 8am or wake up in the middle of the night or rave with you or hype you up or have meme wars or send you daily jokes or just randomly tell you how much you mean to them or make posts asking where you are when you disappear or been gone for too long or make people that doesnt know you send you birthday wishes? like I'm not saying it doesnt happen but isnt it wonderful that it happens HERE with US where maybe out of 10 people only 2 know each other in real life? Isnt it wonderful that we're from all around the world? that you half of the time dont realize someone isnt from English speaking places because they're too good or even when they're not that good no one judges you because this is such an inclusive and wonderful place for people of all races and colors and sexualities and nationalities and body types and hair colors?

idk I'm just RAMBLING but like I wanted to let everyone know that even if we dont speak, even if we NEVER spoke, even if we're only on each others tag lists, or even if I was and you took me off or I took you off or if you deleted or if you have 817383 bots and you speak to me in all of them or only one or whatever PLEASE just know that I love you so much and I appreciate you and you're awesome and if you made some mistakes know that you CAN fix them you CAN learn and be better you CAN grow.

I believe that everyone is capable of learning and changing and everyone deserves a second chance as long as they genuinely show the intention of changing and bettering themselves. I believe that we're capable of forgiving and maintaining healthy relationships without hard feelings. I believe we all have goodness. I believe we all are small universes and we have stars in our eyes and supernovas in our brains and a million things to discover and I believe its funnier to be together than alone and I'm rambling again but like idk just yesterday I was sending someone a message telling them how maybe I'm fucking delusional and naive because who the fuck goes out on their daily saying "be skeptical. dont trust too much. always pay attention" but then after two days of talking with someone they're fucking platonically whipped and would sell their soul as long as they can see those around them happy? trick question I know many of you do too which WORRIES ME PLZ DONT PUT YOUR HEARTS ON THE LINE SO EASILY I drifted I forgot what I was saying oh welp

Anyway for some of you i have so much to say I could write endless paragraphs about you about admins and characters and life and wow I do speak a lot to admins sometimes I speak more to admins as admin that the characters and for some others I can only say a few things or wish you to have a good day some of you I only ever spoke to your character or we talked too little or never at all wow I say that a lot but like one thing yall have in common is that I love you so much even if you don't know me or dont care alright I dont care if you don't care I LOVE YOU and you can FIGHT ME if you dont wanna accept it smh I just want you to know that this place so many of you have been feeling is crumbling down or hurting them or isnt the same anymore is MY safe place too is a place where I feel comfortable and secure and I know, well decide to believe, that you guys would never do willingly anything to hurt another and yknow sometimes I just sit in bed and look at my account and I'm like wow I suck I should delete but then I'm like I could never do that to you I really couldn't because I've been told so many times I'm peoples safe place too and I would never want to take that away from you yknow

I mean I'm not gonna say we shouldn't pay attention to the bad things that happen because this is somehow our home and it's on us to protect it but I think that we shouldnt focus so much on it. because theres still so many good things that we overlook when we think of the bad or when we let things get to us or when we decide to act out of impulse and not think through stuff yknow

ANYWAAY what I'm trying to say is that I love you all so so so so so much and this is my safe place because you're here for me when I need it and I would never give you guys up for anything and like i have so many people for whom i stay daily and try my best and I hope that someday when you need a reason i can be that for you too because I've said this in private but I want everyone to know that this is my corner too and I will always fight for it and protect it so like we can all fight for it together whenever things get rough or you can leave me alone and maybe I'm being super dramatic and putting a lot of weight on this but I started overthinking like halfway and in just tthink that I want to keep yall close to me and my heart forever ok so stay safe and healthy and happy yeah fight for your happiness fight for what you deserve fight for what you want and don't let anyone ANYONE EVER take away from you your joy and your spark and your will to be yourself ok bye

[nunyabhiznus]

Pearls are not Jewels

Prologue

Chapter 1

Word Count: 10.9K

Warnings: Kidnapping, some cursing, some violence, mentions of sexual harassment (barely). Lmk if I missed anything. 

A/N: Before we begin I want to point out some things about this story. 

First, I know that Star Wars takes place “In a galaxy far, far away” but for the sake of wanting to write a cool, fun story for everyone, lets just assume that Earth is somewhere in the unknown regions. 

Second, because I’m putting Earth in the unknown regions, no one there knows about eveything that’s been going on in the galaxy, and everyone in the galaxy knows very little about Earth. So basically, Earth is exactly the same as it is now except the star wars movies do not exist. Please let me know if this second point makes sense. If it doesnt, I’ll be glad to clear it up. 

Third, this is my first Star Wars fic so I’ll be doing the best I can to keep the information as authentic as possible. Wookiepedia has become my best friend for this project. 

Thank you!

Jules Taxo was on the run. 

This was nothing new for her, though. At any given moment she was either being sought out by republic officials or hunted down by someone who wanted revenge. But she was quick, smart, and deadly so no one could ever catch up to her; an ability that she prides herself in and one she hopes will get her out of her current situation. 

But as she looks out the window through curtains barely parted enough to view the street, she couldn’t help but feel like this time things were different. She had never been chased down by someone this important before. If she wants to get out of this situation alive, she’ll need every part of her plan to work perfectly. 

“Are you sure you want to go through with the procedure?” 

The doctors question pulls her away from the window, her hand dropping the curtains making the room slightly darker than it was before. 

When she faces him, the Rodian sinks into his chair with a fear she knew was not brought on by the change in lighting. 

Normally, Jules would’ve basked in the power trip that her reputation usually took her on, but she knew she was running out of time. Those who were after her would eventually track her to this planet, so she needs to finish what she came here to do and keep moving. 

Digging her hand into her pocket, she threw the doctor a small pouch. Its contents ringing throughout the small room in the universal language of greed. 

“Your payment,” she states, answering his question. “There are extra credits in the bag for your continued discretion.” 

Not that she actually expects it. There was no doubt in her mind that someone with more credits would come along and convince him to release the information. In fact, she was counting on him to eventually give her up for her plan to fully function. 

The doctor peers inside the pouch and seeming satisfied, turns around to activate the nurse droid that would assist him during the procedure.  

He clears his throat, facing her again, “What would you like to have done?” 

Jules takes out a disk from her pocket and activates a hologram. 

“Can your nano droids make me look like her?”

“The complete facial transformation will render you identical,” he says observing the woman in the hologram with curiosity. “I should advise you that it’s a painful process.” 

“Just do it,” She orders and doesn’t wait to be told before laying down on the examination table. 

With a sigh, the doctor nods to the nurse droid who holds Jules down by the shoulders, pressing her down on the table. 

If this worked, she thought with a sick smile forming on her face, they’d never find her. 

A small hiss escapes her lips as the doctor inserts a needle into her neck. At first, she felt nothing, but after a few seconds she began thrashing around the table as the nano droids began to reconstruct her face one fracture at a time. The hold of the nurse droid was the only thing that kept her on the table as she yelled in pain. And then it was over just as soon as it began. 

Her chest heaved up and down as the pain slowly crept away until all she was left with was a dull headache. The doctor slowly hands her a mirror as she sits up and looks  at the unfamiliar face staring back at her. 

The smirk she saw reflected was foreign, belonging to the woman in the hologram. Jules turns her new face side to side and admires the work. 

“Who is she?” The doctor asks, slowly backing away now that his usefulness is over. 

“Oh nobody,” she says coyly. “Just some dead girl from the planet Earth.” 

With those details carefully shared, Jules leaves the doctor to his credits as she wears her new identity through the busy streets. 

Confident that her disguise works, and no one was following her, she returns to her ship and punches in the coordinates to her next location. The last phase of her plan. 

Jules Taxo was heading for Earth. 

 ***

When you can’t open your eyes as soon as you wake up, the first thing you assume is that you’re dead. That the never ending black you see is a dreary afterlife and not your heavy eyelids. 

As feeling starts to come back to your limbs and you’re slowly able to make out blurry shapes in front of you, you realize that you are still very much alive. Your racing heart is a clear indication of that. 

Your legs give out as soon as you try to stand and what little you can make out of the room starts to spin. You rest your hand on your chest, letting your fingers grasp at the necklace hanging around your neck. A subconscious habit you had when you were nervous. It’s then that you realize that your hands are tied together. 

Well, not tied, you sluggishly observe. More like... handcuffed? 

Adrenaline heightens your numbed senses instantly and you realize that you’re in the corner of a dark room. The wall opposite of where you’re sitting has a bunch of strange panels and buttons that give off faint lights, which fail miserably at lighting up the space. Listening closely, you could hear the faint hum of machinery surrounding you. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say it looked like the inside of a spaceship from a sci-fi movie. 

How did this happen? Taking in deep breaths, you try and piece together the events prior to waking up wherever you were. 

The day had started off just like every other weekday. 

You remember pulling into your jobs parking lot. You were late. Still, you felt you could turn the day around as long as no one noticed you coming in. Ironically enough, you’re wishing for the exact opposite of that right now. Surely somebody had to be wondering where you were. Your thoughts immediately went to your family as you fiddled with the pearl around your neck. What would they think happened to you?

You remember barely getting out of your car when someone grabbed you from behind, holding a hand over your mouth to prevent you from screaming. 

You remember feeling a shock throughout your body. Was it a shock? Stunned was a better word to describe what you felt - like you could no longer control your limbs as your vision went black.

And then you were waking up. 

The sound of voices bring your thoughts to the present. You can’t hear the conversation, only a muffled dialogue, but you can tell that whoever is talking is just beyond the walls of the room. Although you already know you’re wrong, you hope that help will come through those doors when they open anyways. 

There’s a beeping sound coming from the other side and you know that your captors, or saviors (you’re trying to be optimistic), will walk in any second. 

Despite the fear you’ve felt since you woke up, you try to put on a brave face, but as soon as the door slides open the light that floods in the room makes your face scrunch up instead. 

So much for brave, you think as you blink your eyes a couple of times to get them adjusted to the brightness. 

Two men you’ve never seen before were now standing in front of you. You gasp as you take in their appearance that was unlike anything you’ve ever seen. 

They looked like human men if humans had blue skin and white hair. Intricate black tattoos covered every exposed piece of skin, wrapping around their necks and reaching to the ends of their fingertips. Their massive stature did not escape your notice either. Both men were easily at least six feet tall (or taller) and heavily built. They wore all black, but the one on the right was wearing what looked like a long-sleeved leather jacket, while the one on the left wore a vest that allowed you to see more of the tattoos on his arms. Both men were also staring at you with sick grins. 

You were scared before but now you were terrified. What the hell was going on? 

 With the initial shock already wearing off, you realize that staring at them would get you nowhere. Scrambling to stand up, you did your best to not look as intimidated as you felt. 

“Where am I?” You ask, hating how small you sound.

The one wearing the leather jacket took a step forward and you instinctively took a step back. Your back met with the wall and you jump at the contact. Leather Jacket seemed pleased with knowing you were scared of him. 

“You got caught, Jules,” he sneers, his voice a deep sound that cut through the room. 

Wait a minute. 

“Jules?” You question, suddenly more confused than afraid. “My name’s not Jules.”  

“Nice try, doll face, but it’s going to take a lot more than a facial reconstruction to hide from Black Sun,” scoffs the one in the vest. 

You blink back with eyebrows raised. Doll face? 

“Look,” you start, getting closer to them with newfound courage. Where it came from, you had no clue, but you weren’t about to question it. “You‘ve got the wrong person. You have to let me go!” 

“Your little trick isn’t going to work on us,” Vest snaps. “I’ll admit, going to a planet in the unknown regions was impressive, but you’re losing your touch.” 

Leather Jacket smirked down at you and you narrow your eyes at him. 

“Yeah, you were too easy to find,” he shoves your shoulder, effortlessly pushing you back. 

“Don’t touch me!” You hiss. 

This entire ordeal was starting to chip away at your patience. 

“I have no idea what you two are talking about,” you say through gritted teeth. “Let. Me. Go.” 

Neither of them responds, just continue to look down on you with smug expressions. Scoffing, you start to make your way to the door anyways, frustrated in your lack of understanding, but they block your path. 

Standing side by side, the two blue men left no way to get through.

“You’re staying right here.” 

A command, you notice. And a threat. Especially when Leather Jacket turns to Vest and pulls him to the side of the room, leaving the doorway exposed. He clearly wasn’t worried about you making a run for it. And he was right. As taunting an idea as it was, you weren’t dumb enough to try it. They’d catch you before you got one foot out the door. Besides, your hands were still cuffed. 

No. If you wanted to escape, you’d have to do it differently. 

 “Call L-1 over here to watch her while we’re out,” you hear him say before they both walk out of the room, the door sliding shut behind them. Once again, the room was dark. 

You ran to the door then. The two men were still talking, so you put your ear to it to try and hear them better.

“L-1!” Called out Vest. Even though he yelled, you could still barely hear through the steel door. You press your ear harder against it hoping your lack of visuals will encourage your ears to hear better. 

“We’re going out while the ship refuels to get supplies. Stay with the bounty, and don’t let her leave the ship. We’ll be back in a few hours.” 

There was a response, but you couldn’t make it out, either because of the steel barrier or because of their tone of voice. Your brows furrowed. Yet another thing to not understand.

The sound of heavy steps were getting closer to the door and you back away just in time for the door to slide open again. 

At first you think the silhouetted figure is another man, but as the light settles around the room again you stood mouth gaping at another unfamiliar sight. It isn’t a man at all, more a machine. A robot? 

What the hell was happening? 

The robot advances passed the door frame and you quickly back up until you feel the wall pressed behind you, wanting to put as much space between you and it. The way it moved was not slow and clunky like you always imagined a robot would move. This one reminded you of those creepy Claymation movies where everything was always just slightly off. When the robot stops in the middle of the room you let out a shaky breath. Relief filling your senses.

You can’t bring yourself to look away from the robot, afraid that if you did for even a second it would start going towards you again. Its appearance is unnerving. The thing itself was not much taller than you and it was noticeable how some of its dull yellow paint was chipping off its metal exterior. It’s the headpiece that keeps you locked in place. Through a dark opening in its head, two orange, lifeless lights stare back at you. 

Your thoughts were racing almost as fast as your heart. “What are you?” 

“I am L-1,” it says in a low robotic voice.

“A general service droid,” it adds for clarification. 

“Not a guard or a bounty hunter droid as they seem to think.” 

Was that sarcasm? 

“But that doesn’t mean you can try anything, Ms. Taxo.” L-1 brought up a small gun and you flinch. “I can still stun you with my blaster.” 

              A dangerous idea starts to form in your head. Now that the two men were gone, you figure that you’d have a better chance at escaping with only the droid guarding you. L-1 said it himself, he wasn’t even a guard droid. Time to see if you could outsmart a machine. 

“I need to go to the bathroom,” you blurt out trying to look at L-1’s face instead of the gun (or did he call it a blaster?) he kept pointed at you. 

“That is none of my concern,” L-1 responds sharply. 

“Well,” you start to say, forcing yourself to be more confident. “If I don’t go to the bathroom soon, I’ll end up soiling myself.” You sigh dramatically and add a shrug for good measure. 

“I don’t think they’ll be too happy to see that when they come back.” 

“No... They won’t,” L-1 agrees, though you could hear it was quite forced. You need to say more. 

“And they’d blame you for the mess,” you quickly add. “Might even shut you down.” You hope that was a thing that happened to robots and not just something you pulled out of your ass. 

“Maker! You’re right!” L-1 exclaims. “I’ll be deactivated because of you!” 

L-1 quickly lowers the blaster gun and grabs your cuffs, all but dragging you out of the room by them. 

“There’s a lavatory on board the ship,” he says while you struggle to keep up with his quick strides. “I’ll never understand you organics! How many bodily functions do you even need? It’s not very efficient at all!” 

When you reach another set of doors, L-1 let go of your cuffs and points the blaster gun at you again. 

“Get your business done quickly,” he orders. “We have to return to the other room.” 

You try your best to make an innocent face as you hold up your cuffed hands. 

“I can’t go to the bathroom with these things on.” 

“I cannot remove them,” he states. “You will try and escape if I do.” 

“I can’t!” You point out. “You’re guarding the door. Plus, you have a blaster, and I don’t. You can just take these cuffs off, I can go to the bathroom, and then put them back on when I’m done.” 

His silence was eerie, emphasizing the fact that you have no way of knowing what was going on behind the metal exterior. Did he realize what you were doing? 

“After that, we’ll walk back to the room and it’ll be like none of this ever happened.” 

L-1 lowers the blaster again and uncuffs your wrists. Yes! You try your best to hide your excitement. The door to the bathroom slid open and closes again once you step inside. 

“Don’t take too long!” L-1 orders through the door. 

“I won’t!” You respond, rubbing your wrists where the cuffs had irritated your skin. 

Okay . . . Now what?

You take a second you don’t have to process everything that’s happened. The pieces of information you have don’t make any sense to you but they’re all you have to go on. So far, you are certain of three things: 

First, everyone thought you were some lady named Jules Taxo. 

You gather she is not very popular. Vest had referred to you as a bounty before. You got a sick feeling in your stomach. They want to sell you? Or rather, sell Jules but they thought she was you? You were getting a headache trying to wrap your brain around the situation you were in. 

Second, you think you were abducted by aliens.

The idea sounds farfetched, even to you, but those guys were blue. BLUE! And they mentioned something about Jules going to a different planet - was she also an alien? Anyways, there was also the way that L-1 called your location a ship. Even with your lack of understanding you realize this place  looks more technologically advanced than anything you’d ever seen on Earth. 

And third, robots were real. (You remember it called itself a droid) 

And not very smart. And the one you just met was waiting for you outside the door. 

Right. Back to business. 

You couldn’t bust through the door and hope to fight against the droid. Even without the restriction of your cuffs, it had a gun. There goes plan A. 

Okay, plan B. Was there another door? You frantically start to look around. There’s nothing else in the room except a strange looking tube seat you assume is the toilet. No other doors. 

But there is a vent above you. Plan C! And it looks large enough for you to fit through. You stand on the tube seat and do your best to move the railings without making any noise. You thank God when you see it isn’t bolted to the ceiling and easily slides off. You’ll have to jump in order to create enough of a boost to hoist yourself up. Bending your knees, you get a feel for the movement. 

Okay. You took a deep breath. 3 . . . 2 . . . 

“Are you almost done?!” L-1’s annoyed voice yells through the door. 

You nearly lose your balance on the seat as you curse, and your hands fly out to steady yourself with the walls. You almost forgot about the droid. 

“Just another minute!” You respond, keeping your voice as calm as possible. “I can’t go if you keep pressuring me!” 

You don’t try to listen for his response, but you know he mumbled something. Forgetting the countdown, the renewed sense of urgency gives you all the preparation you need to jump up and reach for the vent. Although it’s not much, you use all your upper body strength to haul yourself up to the vent system. Once your torso is inside, you shimmy the rest of your body in as well.

Looking ahead, the ships vent system looks like a small tunnel. You quickly start to crawl through the vent, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to keep up your trick the next time L-1 said something. Finding a way out was your main objective as you navigate through the maze of vents. You have no idea where you are going but you try your best keep quiet and increase the distance between you and the droid. 

In one of your turns, you see the vents getting more illuminated. Following the light, you nearly start crying when you see the end of the vent. Through the railing, you could see that it led outside. Kicking the vent out,  you throw yourself out of the ship. 

When you land on the ground, the impact on your knees was felt strongly and you grit your teeth in pain. You gasp at your surroundings, forgetting all about your discomfort.  Spaceships of varying sizes were all around, lined up in neat stations where they were plugged in to large towers.

You can sight see later! Run!

Shaking your head, you start to run for it in the opposite direction of the ship you just escaped from. Something in the back of your mind was reminding you that you have no clue where you are, or where you’re going, but all you care about is getting as far away from that ship as possible. You never want to see it again. 

You run until your lungs burn and your legs feel like jelly. The ship station was far behind you now but since you could still see it in the distance, it was still too close for comfort. Ahead of you, strange clay brown buildings stand against the surrounding dessert terrain. There’s nowhere else to go so you ignore your screaming legs and keep running towards it. 

Two of the large clay buildings make a sort of entrance gate to a city bustling with movement behind them. You thought you were incapable of being surprised anymore, yet you were proved wrong when you stumble into the middle of an active marketplace. You stand frozen in the middle of the street, watching with wide eyes the many booths and stands around you. 

You were baffled by the number of new things you were seeing. The stands were selling strange objects and foods you couldn’t begin to describe. All around you strange creatures, each one more different than the last, visited the booths and exchanged goods. You even saw more droids walking among them. 

Too astonished to even notice, you are unaware of how in the way you are of everything and how much you stick out like a sore thumb. Every so often, an alien bumps into you and glares. Probably wondering why, you, a lone woman in strange clothes, stopped to stand in the middle of a busy street. It wasn’t until one of them had begun to yell at you in a language you didn’t understand that you snap out of it. 

You shake your head and stutter out an apology before quickly moving around him and further down the marketplace. It seemed to go on for miles as unfamiliar sights, sounds, and smells add to your confusion. Everything around you blurs together in a mess of too many new experiences. Stand vendors would go up to you and shove products in your face, trying to convince you to buy them, and the crowds would push you further along the market before you even had a chance to decline. It was exhausting and disorienting. 

When you finally stagger to the end of the market, forcing all of its commotion behind you, you were able to round the corner of a nearby building into an abandoned alleyway. Leaning against its wall, you catch your breath and struggle to even out your frantic breathing. 

There was no time to freak out. You remind yourself that there are still people after you. No. After Jules. 

With no bearings and nothing but the clothes on your back, you figure that if you let yourself freak out now, you’d never make it. 

Somehow, you’d have to get as far away from them as possible. And possibly even harder, find a way back home

 ***

 Din Djarin had never gotten along with Jules Taxo.

He thought her extremely unpleasant, a trait most bounty hunters typically shared. She was rude. Undisciplined. Dishonest. Cunning and smart as a whip, he'll admit, but dangerous.

Jules had been one of the many hunters who had tried to take the kid away from him when he first found him on Arvala-7. She put up an impressive fight, and in the end managed to escape alive. Something that could not be said for the majority of those he encountered.

So, when Greef Karga told him of the large bounty on her head, he did not hesitate to accept it. He had a score to settle. Not only for himself, but for Grogu.

"Black Sun is offering a heavy sum for bringing her in alive," he tells him.

Beside him, Grogu takes sips from a soup bowl and watches the two men curiously.

Karga points at him, "You sure you want to bring the kid with you on this one? Taxo won't play fair if she sees him. Why not leave him here with us? He could stay at the school."

"The kid goes wherever I go," Din responds, leaving to room for discussion. After everything that's happened, the only place he felt Grogu was safe was at his side.

Nodding in understanding, Karga leads the conversation back to business.

"There's no puck," he explains. "Do you still want it?"

Din nods, "What do I have to go on?"

"A last known location and a picture," Karga says as he began to dig through his jacket pocket. "This is what I know. Taxo ran off to some planet in the unknown regions to escape Black Sun. There, she was caught and taken to Klatooine where she escaped them a few days ago. That's where she was last reported."

"Taxo got caught?" Din was unable to hide his surprise. Everyone in the galaxy who knew of Jules's reputation would've had a hard time believing it. "By who?"

Karga sighs, "The Gotros brothers."

"Them?!" They couldn't catch a bantha if it were right in front of them. "How?"

"Ah!" the magistrate exclaims, pulling a disk out of his pocket. "Here it is!"

 When he set it on the table, a holographic image shows a picture of a woman he has never seen before. And he was sure he'd remember a face like hers. The sound of Grogu's coos pulls his eyes away from the hologram, instead focusing on how his small, green hands stretch out to reach for the image. He likes the look of her too.

"She's beautiful, right?" Karga asks rhetorically, not giving him time to answer before continuing. "This is Jules' new face. The doctor who did the reconstruction told the Gotros brothers where she was headed. I guess she didn't count on his loose lips."

He scolds himself for getting momentarily distracted with Jules' reconstruction. Din extends his arm towards Grogu when he hears him coo again, and gently pulls his hands away from the hologram. He forces himself to find a flaw in her picture, but he can’t find any. Instead, resolving to compare her to the way that some flowers were poisonous despite their alluring appearance.

"Why did they take her to Klatooine?" he asks Karga.

"They stopped there to refuel," he laughs. "Apparently, they left her alone with a droid and that's how she escaped."

"That's it?"

"That's all I've got. Look Mando, a lot of bounty hunters are going to be after her when they catch wind of how much Black Sun will pay for her. I suggest you leave as soon as possible before she finds her way off that desert rock."

Din nods, setting Grogu back in his floating pram.

"Thank you," he tells his friend, before walking away and towards the Razor Crest.

"Looks like we're headed to Klatooine, kid."

 ***

 Two days have gone by since you escaped the ship.

Two of the most frustrating days you've ever experienced in your entire life. For the remainder of your first day there, you spent the entire time in the alleyway. Too afraid to go out in the open in case they saw you. You barely slept that night either.

Basic survival instinct and years of living as a woman on Earth nagged at your decision to remain in a secluded space, alone in the dark. You couldn't be bothered, though, as exhaustion crept through your bones. You silently prayed for a break which you received. No one came into the alleyway that night.

The following day, you decided to carefully explore the city you were in. Turns out, your curiosity for the alien planet overpowered your fear. Being the fast learner that you were, two things became abundantly clear:

First, there was an obvious language barrier.

You could not read a single thing on this planet. No matter where you went, the written language was made up of strange symbols that were unfamiliar to you. Thankfully, some of the inhabitants spoke English, which you discovered they called ‘basic', so at least you weren't completely lost.

Second, you were broke.

Their monetary system made no sense to you. ‘Credits’, as they were called, were something you did not have. Something that became abundantly clear the longer you went without food.

In spite of those things, you found yourself marveling at all of the new sights around you – the same ones that had sent you spiraling the day before. You felt alive walking through the foreign city as each step presented an opportunity to learn something else about the strange planet. Everything around you, from the alien creatures to the unfamiliar music to the clothing everyone wore, reminded you of how different it was from Earth. Different, but still beautiful.

The constant threat of being found remained in the back of your mind at all times as you wove through the unfamiliar streets, careful not to stray too far from the market. However, you must've been doing something right because you had yet to run into the blue men again. It made you wonder if they were either really bad at hunting people, or if you were just naturally good at evading your captors. You doubted it was the latter.

Halfway through that day, you realized that hiding your face would be the best course of action. You needed a face covering and had to find a way to get one without any money.

The day the blue men captured you on Earth, the weather channel had forecasted a cold front, so you left your apartment wearing a coat. One you were currently carrying around on the hot planet you were wandering through. It was your favorite one.

You sighed as you walked up to a market vendor who sold a variety of products.

"Hello?" you greeted, hoping the man spoke the only language you understood. Although he didn’t say anything, he looked up at you when you spoke, so you took that as a sign to keep going.

"I don't have any money," you started. God, you sounded pathetic. "But I have this coat. Would I be able to trade it for anything here that would cover my face?"

The man held out his hand for the coat and you handed it to him. He immediately held it up and began inspecting its quality. You furrowed your brows. Even with everything you've been through, the coat was still a hell of a lot cleaner than anything else he was selling. You decided not to voice that thought, though. Instead, choosing to bite your tongue.

"This coat can't get you any of the helmets,"' he said in a gruff voice. "But I can trade you a cloak for it. It has a large hood."  

You reluctantly nodded and he handed you a black cloak. As you were putting it on, he pointed at your necklace.

"That's a fine piece of jewelry you got there. If you give it to me, I'll throw in the best helmet I've got."

He held up a strange looking device for you to see.

"It's an Ubese raider helmet," he began to explain. "Not only does it hide your face, but the speech scrambler can mask your voice."

You looked at the helmet longingly. That thing was exactly what you needed. Your fingers danced around the pearl above your heart. Suddenly, it weighed a thousand pounds.

It was the only real reminder you had of your family back on Earth. If you ended up never seeing them again, this would be all you had left of them.

"No, thank you," you said, shaking your head. "It's not for sale."

Leaving it at that, you threw up the hood and kept walking. The cloak would have to do.

That night you couldn't sleep either, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. Curled up in the corner of the alleyway, your new cloak blending you into the night, your constant hunger pains kept you up. You hadn't eaten anything in two days, and it was starting to show.

Now, you stumble around the city, hoping to maybe trade off your shoes for a bite of anything to eat - You were that desperate, when you hear something strange coming from behind a building nearby. Carefully, you creep over to investigate, a gut feeling telling you that finding out would be better than ignoring it.

When you round the corner, you see a tall burley man cornering an alien woman. From the looks if it, she was trying to shove him off, but he was too strong for her.

You desperately look around, trying to find a way to help her. Your gaze lands on a large metal pipe on the ground and you quickly grab it.

You huff when the weight of it settles in your hand. This thing weighs a ton! Even at your most physically fit, you doubted you’d be able to carry it with ease. And you weren't exactly the picture of health at the moment.

You ignore that thought, focusing on helping the alien woman. Silently, you get behind the man. With his back to you, and his mind preoccupied with the woman, he hadn't heard you come closer. With as much strength as you can muster, you raise the metal pipe and swing it at the man’s head. It collides and the sick sound of bone crunching rings through the air as he falls to the floor. Unconscious or dead, it doesn't really matter to you.

The alien woman gasps and keeps staring back and forth between you, the unconscious man, and the metal pipe in your hand.

Your vision starts to get spotty. Clearly, you used up the little energy you had in you on this little rescue mission.

"You're welcome," was all you managed to slur out before the pipe fell out of your grip and you fell to the ground as well. Unconscious or dead, you didn’t really know.

 ***

 When you wake up, you figure that you're dead.

That the soft light coming in is heaven and you're laying on a cloud.

"You're awake," you hear a woman’s' voice say somewhere near you.

As you fully regain consciousness, you find out with great disappointment that the cloud you were on was actually a bed and the light was coming from a nearby window. Your eyes land on the woman in front of you, the same one from before, who was sitting at the edge of your bed with a blaster pointed at you. She was a species that you observed was one of the more human-like. Her skin was a light pink color, and instead of hair, she had two long appendages that sat on the top of her head. Sitting up, you held your hands up in surrender, hoping to explain yourself but she beat you to it.

"You're Jules Taxo," she spit out. Oh, great! This again?

You start to shake your head, "N-No, no, you don't -"

"Don't bother denying it," she interrupts. "I saw your wanted hologram in the cantina."

You open your mouth to speak again but she cuts you off this time too.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to turn you in," she says lowering her gun. "You helped me out back there, so I owe you one, but I don't want any of your trouble."

You let out a breath of relief, "Thank you."

             "You can stay here for the night," she adds. "I can give you some food too, you look like you haven't eaten in days."  Your mouth waters at the sound of a meal.

"But you'll need to leave in the morning, Jules. Like I said, I don’t want trouble."

"Thank you so much," you say with a heavy sigh. "I appreciate everything you're doing for me, believe me, I do. But I am not Jules Taxo, so please don't call me that."

"What do you mean?" she questions so you explain your situation to her, thankful to finally have someone to talk to about it.

She listens carefully to all you have to say. Who you really were, how you were caught, and how you ended up wandering alone on a planet you never knew existed. You honestly couldn’t tell if she believed you or not, but it felt good to have someone listen to you after days of being on your own.

"You don't have to worry, I'll be out in the morning," you add when you’re done. "I just have no idea what to do after that."

"You need to find a pilot to take you to one of the Inner Rim planets," she says with a forlorn expression. "New republic officers will be able to help you better there."

"So, you believe me?" you ask, feeling hope sprout in your chest.

"I do," she nods, smiling at you. "My name is Krin, by the way."

"Thank you, Krin."

"You’re welcome, but I'm not the ones you have you convince."

"Right," you say, sitting up straighter. "So how do I get a pilot?"

"With credits," she sighs. "More than either of us have. Trust me, I've been saving up to move to the inner rim for years and am not even close to saving up for what these crooks around here will charge you for taking you there."

"I don't have any credits," you mumble more to yourself than to her.

The two of you drop the conversation there, choosing to eat dinner together instead. You follow her to the kitchen where Krin offers you a green soup that you graciously scarf down. It was bland, and didn't taste like much but in that moment, it became your favorite food.

After dinner, Krin told you about her life. How she spent her whole life on Klatooine (the planet you were on), and how her dream was to move to one of the inner rim planets and be a professional dancer. She told you about the war and the Empire, and how they brought destruction across the galaxy.

It amazed you to find out these things. So much was happening outside of Earth that nobody even knew about. Wars were waged, entire planets were being destroyed, millions of people died. And nobody knew about it.

"What do you know about Jules?" Krin asks you, bringing you back to the conversation at hand.

"Nothing. Except that everyone hates her, apparently."

"She's a famous bounty hunter," she told you. "Someone who hunts down people for money. Those guys are always loaded with credits."

Instantly her eyes lit up with an understanding that you did not share. You raise an eyebrow at her.

"I have an idea for how to get us a pilot!" Krin all but shouts at you.

"How? You said we couldn't afford one."

"But Jules can!" She looks at you expectantly, but you still do not understand.

"You said she stole your face, right? Well, automated bank teller machines work through facial recognition, and I'm willing to bet she updated her security before she went into hiding. If you used one of those machines, you'd have access to all of her credits. We could use them to get off world!"

You could barely believe it. "Would that actually work?"

"As long as she updated the security to her new face - your face, it should," she says. "The only problem is that it would probably also alert those who are looking for you."

"So, if we wanted to do this, it would have to be quick," you confirm.

"Yes."

"Okay," you declare. "We'll go tomorrow."

  ***

 The last thing he expected from this job was for it to be easy.

Din expected a challenge. With no tracking fob and only a location from a few days ago to go on, he assumed it would take him at least a couple of days to find which part of Klatooine she was on. His confusion could not have been more evident when he got a signal from a specific pinpoint location where she used facial recognition to extract credits.

He now had her exact coordinates. If fact, any bounty hunter in the system looking for her would have them now too. Was she trying to attract attention to herself? If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was being sloppy on purpose.

Landing the Crest outside of the city that contained her coordinates, he wastes no time in navigating through the busy streets towards a bar. Everyone in his line of work knew that if you ever needed information on something illegal, a bar was the best place to go to.  

He keeps Grogu’s pram open while walking through the bustling market, careful to not let anyone steal what he worked so hard to keep, but at the same time glad to see the child beam at the exciting, new surroundings. As he moves down the street, everyone turns their heads to stare at him, clearly not used to seeing a Mandalorian. If he got too close, they would back away, unintentionally clearing a path for him. This was nothing new for him. In the beginning, the stares would make him feel raw and exposed despite the piles of beskar protecting him. Now, they were like grains of sand in the wind. Only a mild inconvenience to him.

When he reaches the bar, all activity stops for a moment. Again, he was the center of attention.

He stands still until everyone inside decides they had their fill of his image, turning back to their drinks and conversations. Din walks over to the bartender.

"What will you having?" the man asks him. As if he could accept.

             "Information," he chose, and slid the bartender a couple of credits.

"What do you know about Jules Taxo," Din asks showing the man her holographic picture. He ignores the happy noise the child makes at it as he continues his questioning. "My sources say she's somewhere on this planet."

"I heard rumors she was on Klatooine," he says rubbing his chin. "But I've never seen her walk in here." he points to the picture.

"Is that all you know?" Din already knew this answer.  

"For the amount of credits you just gave me? Yes."  

His jaw clenches as he hands the man more credits.

             "Ah! I remember now," he continues, pocketing his win. "This morning a lady wearing a Ubese raider helmet, which she was very adamant on keeping on, paid a local pilot an absurd amount of credits to take her and her Twi'lek friend off world."

"Do you know where they went?" Din presses, already tired of haggling for information.

"They wanted to get to the inner rim. The pilot could only take them as far as Pasaana, but they agreed to go anyways. That's all I know."

Din mulls over the information in his mind as the bartender left to go tend to the other customers. What would a bounty hunter like Jules want in the inner rim? Did she think she could hide better there? His instincts told him that there was something off about the whole situation, but he chose to ignore the feeling as he made his way back to the Razor Crest.

He would capture Jules in Pasaana.

 ***

 You and Krin moved fast. By the end of the day, you two had already made it off world and were on your way to Pasaana.

She had been right about the credits, and after obtaining them, the first thing you did was go back to the vendor who you got your cloak from and properly paid for the helmet he showed you that day. Since then, you hadn’t taken it off and while it wasn’t the most comfortable accessory you’d ever worn, you preferred it to feeling so exposed. The helmet had more features than you knew what to do with, all of which would have been useful for whatever raiding it was designed for, but you only cared for the voice scrambler.

Krin also convinced you to buy some blasters for your protection. Even though you had no idea how to use it, you felt better knowing you had a for-emergencies-only weapon strapped to your hip. Hopefully, you’d never have to use it.

The trip to Pasaana had been nerve wrecking. The first time you flew through space you had been unconscious, so you didn’t really count it. This time, you’re fully aware of every little movement and drop in altitude as your hands grip your seat with such a force that it turns your knuckles white. It reminds you of being on an airplane and how you were never one for air travel to begin with. Even after the ship stops shaking as it enters hyperspace (a concept you could barely wrap your head around), and everyone was allowed to roam around you still stay glued to your seat.

             “You must not have much space travel on Earth, huh,” Krin teases.

             “We don’t have any,” you say, trying to keep your voice level in spite of the helmet’s delivery of your voice.

             “That thing makes you sound like a broken droid.”

She wasn’t wrong. The scrambler on the helmet dropped your voice by a couple of octaves and made the sound coarse and choppy.

Much to Krin’s disappointment, Pasaana was another desert planet. You on the other hand can’t find a reason to complain. How many people back home get to go to different planets? None! That thought makes you feel incredibly small.

Besides, Pasaana serves its purpose just fine. It got you away from Klatooine, which was where everyone thought Jules was going to be.

You only wish you could help more. Krin does all the work for both of you, seeing as she knows the languages and monetary system, and you can barely keep her in your line of sight as the new surroundings tempt you into distraction. You cringe at your position, lagging behind like a shadow and hovering around her conversation with the next group of pilots she found to take you to an inner rim planet. You feel like you’re watching a foreign movie without subtitles with enough context to follow the plot but not enough understanding to catch the finer details. When she nods at you, though, you immediately know what she wants, not needing to know the language to understand that nothing is done for free. So, you dig the pouch of Jules’ credits out of your pocket and set it down in front of her where she carefully pulls out the right amount and promptly gives it back to you for safekeeping.

They told Krin to meet them in the shipyard tomorrow morning, until then, you had the entire rest of the day to yourselves.

             You both agree on finding an inn to spend the night in and seeing as you have so much time on your hands, you see no harm in ignoring the looming threat of the situation to go spend time in the city before you do. While Klatooine’s arid streets had been full of impatient characters and hard stares, Pasaana’s warm sand welcomes you both with a peaceful energy.

Its markets are different – calmer and more relaxed, giving anyone who walked through them the opportunity to enjoy themselves. You and Krin take advantage of this change of pace, making stops at every stand to see what each have to offer.

             “I’m starving!” she says, pointing somewhere down the street. “That vendor’s selling something that smells amazing! Let’s go!”

Once there, she buys something (which to you, looks an awful lot like a charred squirrel) that’s skewered on a stick. You opt for a fruit instead, its shape roughly resembling a pare with a dark orange color. You’re about to take off your helmet to bite into it when a figure in the distance catches your eye by how much it stands out. At first you think it’s a droid by how its’ shine contrasts against the earth tones of the market, but as it moves through the crowds you realize it carries itself with aura all to powerful to be anything but a man. Its armor, you realize and as if he heard your thoughts, his helmet moves to your direction and stills.

With his helmet on you can’t tell if he’s actually looking at you or not, and you hope that yours offers you that same privilege. The armored man does not look away from you, his stare only making your blood run colder with every second he holds it. You look away first, and its childish the way you feel like you lost.

             “Let’s keep moving,” you tell Krin, fruit forgotten as you herd her further along your path, no longer able to keep putting off the reality of your situation. “We need to find an inn, it’s getting late.”

She protests but you push her along anyways, your paranoia heightening every time you realize that the armored man is still close no matter how many twists and turns you make through the stands.

Krin shouts your name and pulls you to a stop.

             “What’s gotten into you?” she gasps, out of breath. “You’re going to tear my arm off if you keep dragging me around like this.”

             “Someone’s following us,” you let her know, nodding in the armored mans’ direction to see him moving your way.

             Krins’ eyes widen and now it’s her who’s pushing you to move, “RUN!”

You don’t think twice as you break off into a sprint. You’re pushing past the crowds and somewhere along the way you realize that Krin is no longer next to you. You frantically look around, only to find the armored man still hot on your trail. You only pray that you'll find her again eventually as you continue running.

You keep this up until you reach a dead end where the unused carts of the market are piled up high. If you could climb those, then maybe -

The sound of slowing footsteps behind you makes you spin. The armored man stands a few yards ahead of you, effectively cornering you like a runaway animal. Internally you’re screaming at yourself for allowing yourself to be chased into this position. You should have just gone to the inn to begin with.

The both of you stare at each other again much like before. This time, there is no question of who his gaze is directed to. For a moment, its quiet and the only thing you can hear is your heavy breathing amplified by your helmet. Can he hear it too?

Against the setting sun, his unmoving frame looks like a grand metal statue. The rich colors of the sky are beautifully reflected on his armor. If he weren’t trying to kill you, you’d say he looks like a knight from a fantasy.

You snap out of it and remember that you’re really in a nightmare. How were you going to get out of this one? The armored mans’ hand was hovering around something on his waist – his own blaster probably, prepared in case you were going to use yours – as if you could miraculously learn how to use it before he shot you down. You contemplate the probability of that scenario, but you doubt you would win a shoot out with this space cowboy.

             “Jules Taxo,” he says loudly, the surprise of the sudden words making you jump. The voice is low, and it seems to shake the ground below you.

You don’t respond, only backing up, hoping to inch closer to the pile of carts. When you first saw them, it was hard to see how high up they went, but you hope that it was high enough to jump onto the nearby roof building. That is, if he doesn’t shoot first.

“I can bring you in warm,” he starts, moving closer with every step you back away. “Or I can bring you in cold.”

             “What the f-,” you whisper, biting back the curse and horrified at the threat. You stop your movements when your back touches the carts. The armored man stops advancing too, waiting for you to make the first move. It’s now or never.

You turn around and start to scale the pile of carts as fast as you possibly can. It’s clumsy and you probably look ridiculous, but you figure its better than being “brought in cold” refusing to even think about what that meant. You start to believe that maybe this sudden plan was actually going to work, but all of your thoughts stop cold when you feel a tight grip around your ankle trying to pull you down. You let yourself curse then, doing your best to grip the cart you’re on to resist him. You thought your slight head start would keep him out of reach. Evidently, you were wrong.

Your mind is ten steps ahead of your actions, trying to take in any detail that could get you out of this. The first thing you think of is his metal armor, so you latch on to that thought and let yet another desperate plan form. You seem to be doing a lot of those lately.

The armor should be heavy if it's made of metal, you think. His grip on your foot is too strong, and the more you kick, the more you risk losing you footing. But you have the high ground and maybe, if you let go and fell just right, you'd be able to use the weight of his own armor against him in the fall. That might buy you a few seconds to run away again.

You let go of the cart and let yourself fall on the armored man. Your plan works. In his surprise, he let go of your ankle and you both fall back to the hard ground. You land on him harshly and hear him groan as the weight of himself catches up to him. You scramble to get off of him, doing your best to ignore how much your head is pounding with how hard you fell. The man did nothing to soften the landing.

Before you can get too far, the armored man, still on the ground, extends his arm out blindly to grab at you. His heavy hand reaches for your helmet hoping to pin you down, but he misses and instead finds a hold on the gold chain around your neck. You feel a sting as it’s snapped off.

             “My necklace!” you gasp, the voice scrambler failing to hide your panic.

You’re both standing now, opposite of how you were earlier. His back is to the carts while yours faces the streets, and while he’s cornered and you have the chance to run away, all you can think about is the necklace that’s dangling from his fist. There’s a heavy pause in the air as no one moves. The armored man looks at the necklace in his hand and then back to you. Your hands flex, itching to grab it from him but you know that if you get close you won’t be able to escape him again.

He starts to move again, and you break out into a run. You’re sure he’s about to reach you any second now when you hear a high-pitched noise come from somewhere in front of you. A flash of bright blue zooms passed your face, and you fall to the ground. It barely missed you and you breath in gulps of air to calm yourself.

You lift your head up from the ground when you hear a familiar voice call your name. Krin!

             “Come on!” she says when she’s close enough to pull you off the floor. “We have to get out of here before he wakes up.”

Sure enough, when you look back, the armored man is an unconscious heap on the sandy ground. You don’t bother to wonder how long he’ll stay that way before you and Krin race away to an inn.

When you arrive, your thoughts are either nonexistent or too slow to register. Probably a survival mechanism to keep you from freaking out. You’re barely able to catch the conversation Krin has with the innkeeper or realize you’re walking to a room. It’s when she locks the door and shuts the blinds that you’re able to tune back in.

“You never told me the people after you were Mandalorians!” she exclaims, pacing around the room.

“I don’t even know what a Mandalorian is!” you say, ripping off the helmet in frustration. “I’ve never seen him before! He wasn’t part of the group that captured me on Klatooine.”

Your hand inches towards your neck and you cringe at the absence of your necklace. You forgot to go back for it, you remember.

             “Mandalorians are a race of crazy warrior people,” she sighs, sitting on the bed with her head in her hands. “If one is after us, then we’re as good as dead.”

The Mandalorian is not after her, you think dully. Its after you. Guilt weighs down on you like a heavy blanket. Because of you, Krin could get killed when she’s done nothing but help you survive. She didn’t deserve this.

“That stun better keep him down long enough for us to leave the planet. Hopefully, we can lose him.”

You acknowledge her comment with a hum, knowing well enough that you weren’t going to leave this planet together anymore.

 ***

               Neither one of you slept as much as you should have last night, and despite her cheery disposition when she nears the ship you’re both supposed to get on, you can tell that Krin is incredibly tired. You are too, but the anxiety of what you’re about to do keeps you from fully admitting it.

As she starts to board, you grab her arm forcing her to stop moving. She turns, giving you a confused look.

             “I’m not going with you,” you say directly.

“What?” She questions, yanking her arm from your grasp. “What are you talking about? Why?”

“These people are after me, not you,” you explain. “You’ve helped me get this far and for that I’ll always be thankful for, but I’m putting you in danger and can’t let you risk your life for me anymore.”

“No! Y-“

You place a bag in her hands, cutting off her protests. “Half of her credits are in here. Take them and start a new life in the inner rim like you wanted.”

“But what about you?” She asks and you can start to see tears forming in her eyes.

You blink back your own, thankful that you can at least hide yours behind the helmet. “Don’t worry. I’m keeping the other half of the credits.”

“I meant, what are you going to do?”

You pull her in for a hug which she returns with a tight squeeze. “I’ll be okay,” you tell her, hoping that you didn’t just lie to her. “I hope we see each other again.”

             Krin laughs through a small sob, “And under different circumstances.”

             “Thank you,” you tell her before pulling away, leaving the shipyard behind you.

You walk back to the city, head held high with determination forcing your steps, well aware that a certain armored man has been following you all morning.

 ***

               Din forgot all about the Twi’lek companion.

That’s the first thought he has when he wakes up, groaning at the discomfort he feels when he’s able to stand. It’s been a while since he’s been stunned.

His second thought is more of an instinct as he looks around for the child’s floating pram. Much to his relief, and generous luck, it’s still next to him closed and protected. He pushes a button on his vambrace, opening the pram which reveals Grogu’s furrowed face. He lets out annoyed whines that Din assumes are from being shut in for as long as he’s been unconscious.

             “I know, kid. I’m sorry,” he says, rubbing one of the child’s ears. “I’ll be more careful next time.”

Small complaints are replaced with distracted joyful noises as the child reaches out to the dangling object he didn't even notice he was still holding.

Din inspects Jules' necklace further, a delicate gold chain with a single pearl dangling from it. He remembers the way she froze when he took it from her. The way it seemed like parting from it was almost as much of a struggle as it was running away from him.

Not for the first time he finds himself thinking that this entire job has been strange. Jules had been easy to find in Pasaana as well. It wasn't hard to track the ships coming in from Klatooine and spotting her in the market crowd had been a simple task - her pink partner drastically stood out and not many people wore Ubese helmets while parading around a market. It was like she wasn't even trying to hide.

He also remembers her putting up a better fight the last time he ran into her. Why hadn't she used her blaster? Jules all but used him for target practice last time, and he was fully prepared for a shootout to occur. He even closed the child’s pram beforehand so he wouldn't accidentally get caught in the crossfire.

So why did she choose to climb the carts? It made no sense! She had to know that she couldn't have gotten far like that.

She was buying time for her partner, he reasons, trying to not to overthink. She's not stupid. She was toying with him while the other one got ready to shoot. If he had been paying more attention, he would have noticed it.

He stares at the necklace again, knowing that he should just toss it aside and let the winds cover it with sand overnight, erasing it from his memory. But he can't come up with a good enough excuse as to why he shouldn't be allowed keep it. Din sighs and settles on pocketing it for some unknown reason, ending his distraction.

He still has to find her and now she had a head start. Mumbling a curse, he spends the rest of the night picking up her trail again which leads him to a shipyard the following morning.

From where he hides, Din can see that she’s about to board a ship. He starts to move out of his position, eager to prevent her from getting on and ending this assignment once and for all. But she stops and he witnesses a heartfelt goodbye between Jules and her partner before she heads away from the shipyard. He follows closely behind, confused as to where she’s going now that she didn’t board the ship.

She winds through the streets and he stalks her every move until she turns around and fixes her gaze in his general direction. No. Not his general direction – at him specifically. Din has enough experience with viewing life through a helmet to know when someone is looking directly at him. She holds the stare for a few moments before continuing her walk through the city. He understands through that wordless encounter that she wants him to follow her.

Hand on his blaster, he follows her steps until he sees her halt at the end of a secluded street. Jules turns around and removes her helmet.

Din doesn’t acknowledge the breath that escapes him and doesn’t dare think about how the holographic picture doesn’t compare to the real thing.

             “I’m not going to run from you anymore, Mandalorian,” she says, shifting the position of her helmet beneath an arm as she holds her wrists out in surrender.

Her voice snaps him out of his daze, thankful that his armor hid the lack of composure on his face. Din clenches his jaw as he takes out his blaster, pointing it at her as he moves closer to her. She doesn’t move a muscle, only keeps staring with an unreadable expression.

He stops moving when he’s about a foot away from where she stands. He expects her to attack then, to pull out her blaster or to make a jarring movement that could potentially throw him off. Jules doesn’t do any of those things and he finds it just as unsettling that she is giving up so easily.

“If I go with you,” she starts, her voice set with steady resolve. “Will you leave the woman I was with alone?”

             He wasn’t expecting that question but answers her anyways, “The bounty is on you. She is of no concern to me.”

Whether she was aware of it or not, she visibly relaxes at his answer. Jules nods, letting out a sharp exhale and extends her wrists out further.

             “I surrender willingly, then.” Din cuffs her wrists quickly before she has a chance to change her mind. He’s about to begin leading her to the Crest when she adds a final condition.

“Just don’t stun me.”

[red-sector-rivendell]

media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?

Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me

Dead Poets Society (1989)

One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol

Quadrophenia (1979)

This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film

Cabaret (1972)

Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie

It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)

This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen

The Dirties (2013)

Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha

Logan's Run (1976)

Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie

Donnie Darko (2001)

Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending

American Psycho (2000)

Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.

Clockwork Orange (1971)

Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol

Creep (2014)

Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck

Hereditary (2018)

If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend

Gattaca (1997)

This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie

The Truman Show (1998)

God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up

A Scanner Darkly (2006)

A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good

Fight Club (1999)

Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp

Harold and Maude (1971)

This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend

Polyester (1981)

This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre

Fargo (1996)

Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great

Memento (2000)

GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it

Almost Famous (2000)

This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad

Parasite (2019)

Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao

The Warriors (1979)

Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie

12 Monkeys (1995)

THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing

Waking Life (2001)

Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.

Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear